Who I Really Am

A few years ago the expression “Become who I really am” came to my awareness and slowly transformed into a life-changing revelation. When I first heard it, I felt empowered; it was like a call to become who I always intuitively knew I was. However, it didn´t stop there – it got complicated as I went through a lot of thinking:

  • Who was I really? If normally I am not who I really am, then who am I most of the time?
  • Am I being invalidated in some way?
  • Is someone going to know who I am, better than I do?

I had found relief in defending that I am both my shadow and my talents. After all, it seemed impossible to get rid of my darkness; therefore I should stop fighting against it and accept it as part of me as well. I also thought about what I had done in my life: my studies, working life, abilities, insecurities, relationships, and projections onto the future. However, I was still a bit unclear about “Who I really was.”

My mind came with a possible list of qualities that could define me. They were more like talents I had been trying to cultivate, ideals I had picked up in my psychological researches and spiritual searches, values I had taken from all sorts of institutions such as family, school, friendships, and things that I had admired or envied in others.

What became clear though, was that I spent most of my time in my mind; I used self-criticism a lot, tried to control how I came across, and was always trying to better myself as I craved being recognized.

The expression, “Be who you really are,” expanded and I was offered the possibility to know myself by my essence of Love, Harmony and Joy.

Could someone be described through these qualities and nothing more? What about all the things I´ve done? What about my intellectual knowledge? What about my hidden cravings and not so nice stuff?

Being Love, Harmony and Joy sounded quite simplistic… like a new age passage, nice to hear, but proclaiming from one day to the next that I was Love, Harmony and Joy felt a bit far-out and uncomfortable.

I also didn´t like that, if I was these, or had these qualities in myself, I was not the only one, the rest of humanity had them as well. It implied a sort of dissolution of the attachments I had to my personality, my little stories that felt very important and authentic. All my efforts to become someone in a world where recognition, identification and standing out over the crowd are very much appreciated, all of a sudden became meaningless.

Even though accepting this reality would mean the liberation from the many struggles in my life and the end of the separation I felt to others, I just wouldn’t accept it so easily.

What change would it make to know myself through my essence rather than through what I did, my achievements, losses, all my behaviours and ideas on weak and strong self-esteem?

If I could stop identifying myself with all the heavy stuff I´ve been dealing with for ages, could it be that everything that was holding me back, keeping me messy and re-creating more of the same, would start to finally shift?

What if all the struggle and dissatisfaction of never feeling enough had no true foundation after all? What if we are all equal in our essence, but express in many different ways and it is never about validation, competition or defence?

Lastly and gradually, I gave myself the chance to possibly accept something grander – even grander than my old ideas on the higher self, God and spirituality – ideas that were always outside of me.

Accepting myself as being Love, Harmony and Joy has made me go through lots of self-doubt and hesitation. Sometimes I have felt apprehensive about losing my identity and certain relationships.

What I never imagined though, is that my acceptance of something so simple, yet so powerful and universal, would take me through a journey of deep self-transformation and acceptance of humanity.

My well-known imperfections haven´t magically disappeared from one day to the next. I am actually more aware of my past, the way I used to live and the unloving consequences of my past behaviours come back at me sometimes in discouraging ways.

However, what has truly changed is my understanding and how I relate to all these in ways that no longer seek to indulge in a debilitating self-loathing or self-condemnation and the evasiveness of aloofness and avoidance of responsibility:

  • I now know that all of those shabby places within myself shouldn’t be accepted as normal or inevitable parts of Who I am, but ways I have ignorantly used to self-protect, and self-defend, from all sort of deep emotional hurts, and ultimately for survival and self-gain.
  • I have come to understand that the connection to my inner amazing being was progressively lost when growing up as I learned to adhere to ways of living and being that allowed me to fit in and gave me accepted identities, but in truth didn´t support my loving qualities to expand from within and express out confidently.
  • I know I am in a process of healing, saying goodbye and discarding issues that have a strong hold on me because for so long I believed they were me. When feelings of emptiness and misery look like me, or when sabotage looks like an easy way out of difficult situations, I use honesty, discernment and detachment to support me with these.

My focus is not anymore about changing or judging my personality, my looks, my nose, my job, my family, my friends, my country, but how to live in a way that allows all the beauty I am reclaiming back to come out and express. This has required a new level of acceptance, as to claim who I am is not something I can get by only using my mind, incrementing my knowledge or changing my beliefs, but through how I live in my body.

My body was just `something´ I took everywhere without much care or awareness and respect for its powerful intelligence. I now know that Harmony, Joy and Love can only expand and be expressed through my body and how I connect and live in it.

The more I discern and keep aligning back to a quality that to me feels closer to harmony, the more I organise my movements, my choices and all of myself in ways that allow for a more loving way of living to unfold naturally, without sacrifice or becoming alien in a very busy world. It is not perfect, but a deeply powerful process that is forever unfolding and deepening towards the true Harmony, Love and Joy I am.

Accepting our natural essence of Love, Harmony and Joy and looking at how to live in a way that lets it expand from within can really make a difference in human life. It is something that deserves true consideration and a commitment to be explored in each one of us. It is true evolution!

I have been inspired by Serge Benhayon and deeply appreciate the trust he brings back in the deep knowing of Who We Really Are.

by Luz Helena Hincapié, Bogotá, Colombia

Further Reading:
Essence
How Amazing it feels to Be Myself
Inspired By Universal Medicine…Just Being Me

850 thoughts on “Who I Really Am

  1. I can feel I am in a period of discarding some of what I have identified myself with and learning to let things go. At times it can feel a little raw as I have to feel what I haven’t chosen or not chosen and also letting go of what I have identified myself by. It is all external things as in life, before hearing Serge Benhayon speak I had never nurtured my inner.

  2. The more I feel and understand who I really am, the more I feel and realise how connected and the same I am to everyone else. I imagine I was using a lot of energy in the past keeping my talents and ideas of who I was separate from everyone else, carefully guarding it, carefully being very individual. Now I realise that this is not necessary and there is no reason for this kind of insecurity. To be who I truly am is not threatened by my surrender to feel my connection to all. It is a solid expression so beautifully supported be so many who have discovered the same, and so many more to come… Everyone.

  3. As I become more consciously present and self-loving I am able to be accountable for my life and the consequences of my unloving behaviours I realise I am human and don’t need to go into self-loathing and the cycle of beating myself up for hours days or weeks on end for every little thing I judge myself for as being unloving. I no longer use this cycle to keep myself small I let it go without judgement and comparison to the best of my ability and reclaim my connection with my true self and express lovingly in power and authority of truth.

  4. Whenever I question who I am I take my relationship back to my body and how I treat it, and the way I move and express with it, and I always find my body knows the truth of the matter.

  5. “Is someone going to know who I am, better than I do?” – this stopped me on my track this morning. It reminded me how I held others’ validation higher than my own knowing, and I still do when I go into doubt – i.e. when I step away from my power.

  6. Any truly religious experience starts with the fundamental tenet of asking “who am I?” From there, it is a trip down the rabbit hole, as one can come across a whole minefield of potential answers. So how does one navigate that minefield? Start with simplicity. If something is not simple, and does not make sense to all of life equally so, then it is most likely not true.

  7. “If I could stop identifying myself with all the heavy stuff I´ve been dealing with for ages, could it be that everything that was holding me back, keeping me messy and re-creating more of the same, would start to finally shift?” When we live more from our essence, these things that are not us drop away as they can not stay in a body where the energy is at a different frequency.

  8. Liz what a brilliant blog on what it means to truly be who we truly are? I had to read it twice before I could comment, because I struggled with not being identified for what I do and saw them instead as my qualities which is not actually real. Coming from our essence is a completely different ballgame, well actually it’s not a game at all, it’s letting go of all games, sabotage, playing small etc etc. For me I can now see that all my perceived hardship, struggles and issues have been used as recognition and a normality. However mine, and everyone’s divine essence, is always there either being hidden from view or reconnected to and let out for all to see as a reflection equally.

  9. When feelings of emptiness and misery look like me, or when sabotage looks like an easy way out of difficult situations, I use honesty, discernment and detachment to support me with these. I use these too, and they work, getting honest and real is powerful and has greatly supported me to make different choices and in making more self-loving choices, more choices keep opening up for me to continually evolve.

  10. Thank you Luz. This is so important : building a relationship with yourself first. So you know who you are and can live from there. And so we must be honest about all the ways we have allowed ourselves to drop to what is not from who we are but the denial of it.

  11. Another amazing blog Luz – thank you! It is becoming clear to me that our systems, amongst other things, are designed to take us away from who we truly are, and replace that with a lesser form of ourselves, shaped by ideals, beliefs and self deprecating feelings and actions. I have often wondered who I truly was, and enjoyed completing psychological and personality tests such as Myers Briggs, just to have someone else tell me that I was worthy. It felt good to read about my strengths, but why did I need this validation from outside of me? I am slowly but surely peeling back the layers to see my true self, with the support of Universal Medicine, its teachings and practitioners.

  12. ‘I now know that Harmony, Joy and Love can only expand and be expressed through my body and how I connect and live in it.’ – Luz this makes a lot of sense to me and really reflects to me how important the relationship with our body is. We have a responsibility to connect and listen to our bodies and develop a relationship with them – then as soon as we feel something is not right we can look at it rather than ignoring our bodies and getting to a state where our hurts rule, where we don’t feel joy al the time, and where we are getting sick.

  13. Thank you Luz. What you’ve written here about claiming who we are not through our mind but through our body completely turns the idea of ‘who we are’ being about what we’ve done, achieved and learnt on its head. To know ourselves through our body is a fascinating unfoldment that feels expansive.

  14. It also makes sense that if we’re attached to ideas of who we think we are, or need to be – images or expectations of how we need to be, what we need to do – then we have no idea who we truly are. It’s not until we’re prepared to look at and let go of these pictures and expectations we’ve put upon ourselves, and begin to develop our relationship with our bodies, that things start to change. So if I’m avoiding being and living who I truly am, it would make sense that I sabotage my body by living in a way that means I can’t connect to it.

  15. “Is someone going to know who I am, better than I do?” Yes, God and our Soul knows who we truly are and constantly call us to return to feeling the natural Love, Joy and Harmony that we are in essence.

  16. Wow Luz, beautifully expressed, this is a blog I could read over and over and continue to receive benefit. There is such a difference in blogs like this that are about evolution – my whole body ignites and lights up! I have also been finding that woes and misery, issues et al, are all ways in which I currently am able to identify myself and separate completely from my harmony, joy, love and stillness. It’s not that life does not present real challenges, nor that I need to be perfect or untouched by life, it’s more that my foundation of who I know myself to be needs to change profoundly back to my essence and to respond from there.

  17. Our innate essence is an exploration of living in all its honesty and rawness. There is such an expansion to be found from looking at our lives and how we live them day to day. To discover what may be holding us back from all that we are naturally, the only hinderances we may have on accessing our innate qualities is the judgments, comparison and ideals that have been from lives past or hurts we may have experienced. To discover these old ways of being and let go of them, returns us to our natural way. That is where true living begins.

  18. All I could feel while reading this beautiful blog, is the need to surrender to everything we all ready are. Dropping all the ideals that we have created as us, and feeling that we are born divine. Living with with this known truth everyday helps us surrender to this fact.

  19. We have made life about becoming someone while we already are everything we need. Why do we fall for building that facade that at the end completely covers who we naturally are? When I look to us human beings from this angle I can see the madness this way of living brings to society while the answer to all our problems in the world to me is behind that facade we all have build around that all knowing being that lives in side and for with only love, that is among other things represented in the qualities harmony and joy, matters.

  20. Hello Luz and I remember this question of ‘Who am I really?’ coming my way many times and in many ways. Often I would define myself with what I did or what I have done when this question came to me and if it didn’t feel enough then I would drive to achieve more so when the question came again I had more to answer. The answer from here always felt empty, like it wasn’t enough and from this I took two things, I am not enough and what I have done isn’t enough. It felt like that no matter what I did this was always the feeling, no matter what mountain I had climbed before it always meant nothing when this question came. So where to from here? There was only one way and from the support and teachings of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon it was time and still is time to appreciate all I am, before I even step out of bed. No comparison to others needed or picture of where I should be just appreciation for what is here now. The only answer to that question comes from how you live, if we live in critique, hardness, judgement of who we are then that is where the answer will come from but if we appreciate, appreciate and then appreciate then that question will never come because you already know it. What am I, what are we afraid of?

    1. Good question Ray, what is it that we’re afraid of? Could it be letting go of control and investment in how we’ve made our lives, and allowing ourselves to feel vulnerable – and to live that vulnerability?

  21. When we start to accept who we truly are, the sons of God, all that is not from this love will be highlighted for us to observe, learn from, renounce and then discard.

  22. “What if all the struggle and dissatisfaction of never feeling enough had no true foundation after all? What if we are all equal in our essence, but express in many different ways and it is never about validation, competition or defence?” These are great questions to ponder on Luz, in coming to know who we really are from consistently choosing to connect and live from our essence we are able to express from an inner wisdom and knowing of our true quality.

  23. “I had found relief in defending that I am both my shadow and my talents’ – this is brilliant. I used to think I was an angry, resentful control freak and ‘accepting myself’ was to be able to say that I was that and it was ok, and so it felt impossible to say that I was love and all that – and yes, I agree it was the ultimate alibi I gave myself not to live who I truly was. It was a choice only confirmed by my own movement

  24. This paragraph is deeply evolutionary, “My mind came with a possible list of qualities that could define me. They were more like talents I had been trying to cultivate, ideals I had picked up in my psychological researches and spiritual searches, values I had taken from all sorts of institutions such as family, school, friendships, and things that I had admired or envied in others.”
    It exposes clearly how we tend to see and understand ourselves to be, which needs to be owned by all of us as behaviors and thoughts that are not us, if we wish to remember, deeply, the beauty we are with in, as Luz has so beautifully explained here in this blog.

  25. What an incredible blog Luz, it offers a reconfiguration within and a calling to ones soul to shine and appreciate all that it brings.

  26. The body really does support us to know our true self better than our mind. The chatter stops when the mind and body are in one place at one time doing one thing… building that to be more than a passing experience is what reconnects us to a magnificent beauty within.

    1. So true Lucy, when I have random none supportive thoughts this is an indication that I have been moving and expressing in a way that is disconnected to my body. When we connect to our body the quality of our thoughts changes.

  27. As has been shared, the term ‘become who you really are’ can bring up a lot for people. For many of us, we have overlaid so much over our true self since we were young that it can seem like a fog to wade through to find our true selves. I can still feel how I was as a child but many people I speak to cant recall a lot of their childhood or how they were as kids. Exploring what you have become, taken on, identified with is part of this returning. Knowing that all that is minute compared to the strength and solidness of the true self always within us, is what can keep us on track.

  28. I feel the term being who you really are resonates with so many of us, as we miss being ourselves and the connection with everything that this brings. It also feels like it brings immense ease to the body. No more trying, controlling self-judging etc which is all exhausting and creates a lot of tension.

  29. Absolutely Luz, what you have shared is true evolution. Rediscovering our divine joy and beauty expands one beyond the limitations of what our mind has called self.

  30. The concept of ‘becoming who I am’ Luz is very interesting. We spend so much time adhering to the roles and societal expectations placed upon us we can often forget that within we have a wealth of qualities unique to us that when connected to and expressed literally brings our world alive.

  31. I am also on the same journey as you Luz, learning to live more lovingly, in harmony and joy more and more every day. What you’ve shared is very relate-able and deeply inspiring. The process of letting go of things that no longer support me to be who I am constantly needs to be revised and deepened.

  32. I know when I have been called to answer the question ‘who are you?’ I’ve become tongue tied and started to list my roles and things I’ve done. This would then mean that I am no one without my accomplishments, and this cant be true. I have found it’s not something I can work out from my mind since I now know I have adopted many beliefs and ideals that are not really from me. I cant rely on my mind because I have observed that its often filled will all sort of nonsense that I know is not true. Getting to know the real me is a journey I am still on as I discard the outer stuff that never really belonged. What helps me do this is focusing on my body and its movements. It keeps me present and connected to a place within that I am trusting more and more.

  33. “What if all the struggle and dissatisfaction of never feeling enough had no true foundation after all? What if we are all equal in our essence, but express in many different ways and it is never about validation, competition or defence?” I love this Luz. Allowing doubt and struggle to creep in is literally – soul-destroying. Sabotage doesn’t support anyone, regardless of whether it is done by oneself or another. Discarding the outer – the ‘what-is-not’ allows who we really are to flourish.

  34. I am not sure that we want to know who we really are, because if we were to feel that level of grandness we would also see the responsibility required to live the simplicity of such grandness, for the world surely needs us all to be who we really are.

  35. It can be very powerful to look back at our past with an honesty and awareness that exposes the ideals, beliefs and choices that we have allowed to get in the way from expressing in word and movement the truth of who we really are. I love that you have done this and have now come to a place of appreciation within you of what is possible to live …. and the unfolding and deepening that comes with that when you embrace it like you have.

  36. I love the way you say it like it is Luz : ‘when sabotage looks like an easy way out of difficult situations’ We don’t usually consider sabotage this way, we focus on what we have done to ourselves rather than the simple truth that we are avoiding the simple truth.

  37. Loved your blog Luz, I picked up on your words ‘or when sabotage looks like an easy way out of difficult situations’ it made me realise two things, one how easy it has been to sabotage myself, because it’s easier to feel lesser, and secondly I’m starting to appreciate the times now when I don’t sabotage myself, and instead allow myself to feel my connection to my essence.

  38. It can be so easy to lose ourselves in emotions or feelings that aren’t really the true, ‘us’ – i.e. aren’t the core of who we are, but sometimes do a great job of being imposters and pretending that they are us. It takes practice and commitment to stop identifying with our ‘stuff’ and to realise that it is a surface layer, and tiny in comparison to the enormity of our essence and who we are when we’re connected to that.

  39. Becoming who I really am is a journey that I too have been on since deciding to come down out of my head and the many twists and turns that my mind has taken me on over the years. I have started to appreciate the depth of my essence in practical ways like choosing to notice the movements of my body and experimenting with how I can support myself to move more gently and with greater presence which then has a knock on effect in how I move through my day. It is sometimes hard to see the effects of these changes and I have often been discouraged by my slow progress but this is always because I am choosing to return to old patterns and judging myself for my frequent ‘mistakes’. Accepting that I am not any of these things but can align to a far greater purpose with the commitment to keep coming back to my body and who I really am is an ever unfolding journey that I am never need to make by myself. The reflection offered by Serge Benhayon and others inspires me daily.

  40. Accepting that it is a process discarding all the issues that I have taken on as part of my ‘identity’ and that there is no perfection allows me the space to explore a new relationship with myself and how I relate to others.

  41. I remember crossing a number of parts in life of ‘who am I’ and it seemed to hit me harder when something was changing. I remember a few years back when I was changing jobs and it hit hard, who was I without this job. What I have come to learn and still learning since is that we are not what we do and it’s about the quality we are that truly supports us. As is said in this article, “This has required a new level of acceptance, as to claim who I am is not something I can get by only using my mind, incrementing my knowledge or changing my beliefs, but through how I live in my body.” This living way holds everything steady and keeps growing in relationship with others. I have seen the enormous growth in how I understand and move around people that then also supports them more. The Way of The Livingness isn’t so much a new spin on things but an relearning of an older way, http://www.unimedliving.com/voice/about-the-audio-presentations/the-way-of-the-livingness-presentation.html

  42. Beautifully expressed Luz, how we live in our body is key to accepting and knowing ourselves and deepening our connection. When we bring an honesty to what we are truly feeling it opens up our awareness to know ourselves from our inner wisdom and quality of presence so that there is no need to look outside to find something to identity ourselves as we already feel and know this from the quality of our inner essence.

  43. Letting go of the layers of the what is not and allowing ourselves to surrender brings about a change within ourselves where we are more in connection with the essence of who we are, something that can never be intellectualised only lived with the wisdom and joy that is natural for us.

  44. I really love how you have come to accept your true essence and are able to see the choices that were previously made possible by not choosing to accept who you truly were for what they are.

  45. Feeling as though I am not being who I truly am was a very familiar tension that I had felt for a very long time, but we won’t find ourselves by being someone. We are the One and every one. Knowing oneself has nothing to do with identification.

  46. Coming to the realisation that I am so much more than my patterns, momentums and past hurts has been so healing and freeing for me, as it has allowed me to deepen my search for who I really am, and as a result I have become aware of the importance of connecting deeply within my body, where the real me resides in my inner heart.

  47. Thank you Luz, as you share it made me aware that being who you are is actually a choice of commitment. As deep down we all know we are more than this current existence we are living. Hence it requires a level of willingness to go there and feel the past and at the same time the future that is awaiting. No shame, no game, just simply being with what there is and making changes is the way.

  48. Beautiful blog Luz. It feels absolutely beautiful to acknowledge that I am so much more than my talents and imperfections. When I connect to this everything else seems simple.

  49. It feels so true to me that we in essence are all the same and that only through the way we all individually express ourselves we bring that flair and joy to life that makes us all complete.

  50. “If I could stop identifying myself with all the heavy stuff I´ve been dealing with for ages, could it be that everything that was holding me back, keeping me messy and re-creating more of the same, would start to finally shift?” Absolutely, it has started to shift for me, my whole life has change and, my feelings and all my movements. My body feels lighter and more connected, deeper awareness and and clarity. We just need to let go and allow who we truly are to come through.

  51. It is quite exposing to find – in a world where everything is about individuality and becoming someone – that it’s not what we do or what we have become it is actually who we are – the inner quality that resides within us and is equal to everybody else.

  52. YES to this, the power of your words and lived experience ask me to step up to knowing who I really am and exploring this.. Not waiting until it comes with the wind, but actually committing all of you to exploring this and making sure you take care of you and your body the best you can. Beautiful marker and this shows us the power we have inside..

  53. I just had a talk with a Great friend about deepening our self nurtering. To treat our body lovingly as iT is the tempel for our soul to express through.
    IT means to me to deepen every single moment in every movement.
    Is started And iT feels lovely to do.

  54. Who we are can never be identified by what we do, as much as our minds would like to tell us so. And words are empty unless lived. As you say Luz, it is through the body and the quality of how we live and move each day, that re-connects us to the true qualities of love, truth, harmony, stillness and joy that we are.

  55. Thank you Luz, that is a beautiful example to start knowing who we truly are.. We are the torch carriers of our own light. So the moment we taking our lights out is the path of a new (or actually re-born) beginning.

  56. When we reduce ourselves to the layers that stand in the way of us living our truth – life feels incomplete and we seek recognition for what we do within those layers rather than being in the expansiveness of what lies beneath.

  57. “Accepting our natural essence of Love, Harmony and Joy and looking at how to live in a way that lets it expand from within can really make a difference in human life. It is something that deserves true consideration and a commitment to be explored in each one of us. It is true evolution!” Absolutely Luz, I truly enjoyed your sharing here.

  58. I love Luz how you are totally realistic in what you have shared, that “My well-known imperfections haven´t magically disappeared from one day to the next.” you know that these, as you say well-know imperfections, or we could say old behaviours, don’t go away magically. It is in bringing awareness to the fact that they are there, being more conscious of them, so the make other choices, that is how we change ourselves, lovingly so.

  59. Who we are is not who we think we are. There is always a grander version of us waiting for us. This is our truer us. Connecting to it is always extraordinary just to realize how natural is for us to feel grander.

  60. What a great exploration of the use of your mind and coming to accept the truth as being the quality through which you are living IN your body. Awesome blog Luz. Thank you.
    “This has required a new level of acceptance, as to claim who I am is not something I can get by only using my mind, incrementing my knowledge or changing my beliefs, but through how I live in my body”.

  61. Luz what you have shared is huge, claiming back who we are is our true purpose, as with this we can live the truth that we are here to live. What you shared here is so true “claim who I am is not something I can get by only using my mind, incrementing my knowledge or changing my beliefs, but through how I live in my body.” It is our livingness that supports to claim back who we are.

  62. It is interesting how we use our mind to figure out who we are and try all sorts of things in the hope or expectation of a particular outcome. Now I have discovered through connecting to my essence how we are able to build a true relationship with ourselves and the more honest, discerning and detached we are the more awareness and inner wisdom we are able to connect and express with.

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