Who I Really Am

A few years ago the expression “Become who I really am” came to my awareness and slowly transformed into a life-changing revelation. When I first heard it, I felt empowered; it was like a call to become who I always intuitively knew I was. However, it didn´t stop there – it got complicated as I went through a lot of thinking:

  • Who was I really? If normally I am not who I really am, then who am I most of the time?
  • Am I being invalidated in some way?
  • Is someone going to know who I am, better than I do?

I had found relief in defending that I am both my shadow and my talents. After all, it seemed impossible to get rid of my darkness; therefore I should stop fighting against it and accept it as part of me as well. I also thought about what I had done in my life: my studies, working life, abilities, insecurities, relationships, and projections onto the future. However, I was still a bit unclear about “Who I really was.”

My mind came with a possible list of qualities that could define me. They were more like talents I had been trying to cultivate, ideals I had picked up in my psychological researches and spiritual searches, values I had taken from all sorts of institutions such as family, school, friendships, and things that I had admired or envied in others.

What became clear though, was that I spent most of my time in my mind; I used self-criticism a lot, tried to control how I came across, and was always trying to better myself as I craved being recognized.

The expression, “Be who you really are,” expanded and I was offered the possibility to know myself by my essence of Love, Harmony and Joy.

Could someone be described through these qualities and nothing more? What about all the things I´ve done? What about my intellectual knowledge? What about my hidden cravings and not so nice stuff?

Being Love, Harmony and Joy sounded quite simplistic… like a new age passage, nice to hear, but proclaiming from one day to the next that I was Love, Harmony and Joy felt a bit far-out and uncomfortable.

I also didn´t like that, if I was these, or had these qualities in myself, I was not the only one, the rest of humanity had them as well. It implied a sort of dissolution of the attachments I had to my personality, my little stories that felt very important and authentic. All my efforts to become someone in a world where recognition, identification and standing out over the crowd are very much appreciated, all of a sudden became meaningless.

Even though accepting this reality would mean the liberation from the many struggles in my life and the end of the separation I felt to others, I just wouldn’t accept it so easily.

What change would it make to know myself through my essence rather than through what I did, my achievements, losses, all my behaviours and ideas on weak and strong self-esteem?

If I could stop identifying myself with all the heavy stuff I´ve been dealing with for ages, could it be that everything that was holding me back, keeping me messy and re-creating more of the same, would start to finally shift?

What if all the struggle and dissatisfaction of never feeling enough had no true foundation after all? What if we are all equal in our essence, but express in many different ways and it is never about validation, competition or defence?

Lastly and gradually, I gave myself the chance to possibly accept something grander – even grander than my old ideas on the higher self, God and spirituality – ideas that were always outside of me.

Accepting myself as being Love, Harmony and Joy has made me go through lots of self-doubt and hesitation. Sometimes I have felt apprehensive about losing my identity and certain relationships.

What I never imagined though, is that my acceptance of something so simple, yet so powerful and universal, would take me through a journey of deep self-transformation and acceptance of humanity.

My well-known imperfections haven´t magically disappeared from one day to the next. I am actually more aware of my past, the way I used to live and the unloving consequences of my past behaviours come back at me sometimes in discouraging ways.

However, what has truly changed is my understanding and how I relate to all these in ways that no longer seek to indulge in a debilitating self-loathing or self-condemnation and the evasiveness of aloofness and avoidance of responsibility:

  • I now know that all of those shabby places within myself shouldn’t be accepted as normal or inevitable parts of Who I am, but ways I have ignorantly used to self-protect, and self-defend, from all sort of deep emotional hurts, and ultimately for survival and self-gain.
  • I have come to understand that the connection to my inner amazing being was progressively lost when growing up as I learned to adhere to ways of living and being that allowed me to fit in and gave me accepted identities, but in truth didn´t support my loving qualities to expand from within and express out confidently.
  • I know I am in a process of healing, saying goodbye and discarding issues that have a strong hold on me because for so long I believed they were me. When feelings of emptiness and misery look like me, or when sabotage looks like an easy way out of difficult situations, I use honesty, discernment and detachment to support me with these.

My focus is not anymore about changing or judging my personality, my looks, my nose, my job, my family, my friends, my country, but how to live in a way that allows all the beauty I am reclaiming back to come out and express. This has required a new level of acceptance, as to claim who I am is not something I can get by only using my mind, incrementing my knowledge or changing my beliefs, but through how I live in my body.

My body was just `something´ I took everywhere without much care or awareness and respect for its powerful intelligence. I now know that Harmony, Joy and Love can only expand and be expressed through my body and how I connect and live in it.

The more I discern and keep aligning back to a quality that to me feels closer to harmony, the more I organise my movements, my choices and all of myself in ways that allow for a more loving way of living to unfold naturally, without sacrifice or becoming alien in a very busy world. It is not perfect, but a deeply powerful process that is forever unfolding and deepening towards the true Harmony, Love and Joy I am.

Accepting our natural essence of Love, Harmony and Joy and looking at how to live in a way that lets it expand from within can really make a difference in human life. It is something that deserves true consideration and a commitment to be explored in each one of us. It is true evolution!

I have been inspired by Serge Benhayon and deeply appreciate the trust he brings back in the deep knowing of Who We Really Are.

by Luz Helena Hincapié, Bogotá, Colombia

Further Reading:
How Amazing it feels to Be Myself
Inspired By Universal Medicine…Just Being Me

916 thoughts on “Who I Really Am

  1. This is a question I have asked time and time again and the answer is always irrefutable and consistent when the answer comes in the form of an encompassing feeling from my body. Then I am sold and forever that is my marker of truth.

  2. It also asks us to detach from people. To let go investments we have as they make us otherwise living a lower version of ourselves. Which for sure doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t connect deeply with people but is a letting go of personal needs and work together to a grander purpose.

  3. Struggle and emotion have no foundation – it is brilliant to read this and see these for what they are – the complication that pulls us off track from what we can truly bring. This sharing brings a simplicity to how we can live if we choose to not make it about only the physical and issues but live from the truth of the body.

  4. It was only after I had gone through and let go of a lot of who I am not that I started to develop a deeper connection to who I truly am.

  5. Coming to understand that all that is not of love and harmony is not in truth me but instead adornments that I have gathered through life and can be discarded like a coat to reveal me in my truth of being a Divine Being is the greatest blessing possible – and that has come about through the blessing of Serge Benhayon.

  6. I love the simplicity you share here Luz of simply connecting with our essence through our bodies and the joy, harmony and love that is naturally occurring in all of us and yet expressed in our own unique way which we can truly connect with and value and we don’t have to prove ourselves, try to be anything else or more or judge ourselves for our imperfections. Very beautiful and very healing for me to read at this time.

  7. I have found that as time goes on and since coming to Universal Medicine I have taken away layers of who I am not, allowing more and more of who I truly am to be seen. As I do this, there are no startling revelations of who I truly am. In fact it feels like the most normal thing in the world and I have always felt it – I have always been me. It’s only the layers on top that get taken off and discarded.

  8. One can only be who he/she truly is. That will never change. Other thing is who we are in this life and what we portray to be. The latter two are enormous reductions from the first one. Yet, the key is held in what we portray to be. We have an opportunity (within limits, of course) to share with the world who we truly are.

  9. Living from our mind brings in control and feeds us negative thoughts that do not consider or take into account how our body is truly feeling. Connecting to our essence through our breath and building a relationship with ourselves is key to accepting and knowing who we truly are without trying or aspiring to be anything other than ourselves.

  10. “I have been inspired by Serge Benhayon and deeply appreciate the trust he brings back in the deep knowing of Who We Really Are.” Me too Luz, Serge continually inspires me to return to my true essence even though it’s been covered over in so many ways to the point I believed my behaviours, emotions and misery were who I am. And, the return to living from my essence is beautiful.

  11. We cannot escape who we are. We run from our grandness more than we distance ourselves from our mistakes and unloving choices.

  12. I was asking myself about deepening the acceptance of myself and my choices, this blog has been a great support rather than entertaining the thoughts of “It’s too much/above you, you should give up now” Accepting all the beauty within me is not hard but very simple and that I am that simplicity. And when it comes to living this the simplicity is not instant at first but takes time and thats ok too.

  13. We are a part of the whole and the whole is God and each part is equal to the whole so why do we play small and hide in our comforts? It is perhaps to do wanting to stay separate as an individual when we in fact can never be separate as we are part of a whole! What a waste of time and effort investing in individuality when it doesn’t really exit outside of our own head.

  14. We have made it all about being right or wrong so it is understandably to feel a bit unsettled with the idea of being Love, Harmony and Joy in essence, whatever we have done. But it does not make it less true!

  15. We invest in so much that brings us identification just so that we stand out from the crowd or so we think, and yet none of it assists us to know who we are without the doing – it all still leaves us feeling empty.

  16. On re-reading this blog today, I am again inspired to deepen the true relationship with my body and continue to build a deeper level of nurturing and care with it.The teachings that Universal Medicine offer are a blueprint for returning to live from the truth of our innermost essence that is there in all.

  17. This rings several loud bells of how I used to compromise true expression by conforrming to what was required by parents, school, society etc. There is much to appreciate in the teachings presented by Universal Medicine and the support to make changes and new choices to bring more understanding of who I am in truth.
    “I have come to understand that the connection to my inner amazing being was progressively lost when growing up as I learned to adhere to ways of living and being that allowed me to fit in and gave me accepted identities, but in truth didn´t support my loving qualities to expand from within and express out confidently”.

  18. The key point here is BE who you truly are. There is nothing we need to do, nothing to work through, nothing to achieve or work at. We already are who we are, it’s only a matter of allowing it to shine out.

  19. As I begin to live life in the knowing of who I am especially in the bringing of joy it is making so much sense to me that when I have moments when I don’t feel joy or the truth of who I am that those moments are not real. Yes I may feel the hurt in my body but it is not who I am. It becomes very clear that I do not have any issues and if I do catch myself experiencing an issue of any kind it has been purely created by me simply to avoid and dismiss shining the light and love I am in essence.

    1. Learning to live by the understanding that although we experience ‘issues’ we are not them is very liberating and definitely allows for joy.

  20. When completely focused on quality in all that we do a lot of the other ‘stuff’ that comes in to distract and undermine our potential can be eliminated.

  21. ‘What if all the struggle and dissatisfaction of never feeling enough had no true foundation after all?’ We allow our thoughts and perceptions about ourselves, others and the world to run us to such an extent that they can colour all our actions and completely distort the Truth. Life becomes complicated and we lose touch with ourselves, our essential selves. Coming back to the simplicity of Love, Harmony and Joy allows for a clarity and an understanding that we are enough, we have always been enough. Building on this reconnection we allow for more confidence in ourselves, and as we see the lies we have allowed to be part of the way we live we can, with the support of those who also truly care, bring ourselves back to a way of being that is true, free from struggle and the pain or hurt of never feeling enough.

  22. “My body was just `something´ I took everywhere without much care or awareness and respect for its powerful intelligence.” Oh what a common behaviour. Changing that to honouring and being responsive to my body has been life changing and with that an ever deepening connection with Love, Joy and Harmony.

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