930 thoughts on “My Turnaround from Competitive Running to Connection with Me”

1. I agree with this statement, “I discovered that exercise can be light, playful, fun and something I can enjoy on my own, or in the company of others”. I’m realising more and more how there needs to be a playfulness in everything we do, and exercise does not need to be this hard core activity. Fun needs to be introduced more and more in everything we do and in that, it doesn’t become a chore.

2. I love your new approach to exercise, and what you bring to everyone with this, ‘What I really needed to do was to stop and connect to the real me – who I was inside – with no need for validation through achievement or recognition, just simply feeling the loveliness of me.’

   1. Connecting with ourselves is so so important in everything we do. Then we don’t feel so disconnected or separated from everything we do or be.

3. Jane year ago I used to run, or shall I say jog. I enjoyed it, but my legs didn’t. And over the years I entered half marathons (13 miles), my body would suffer for days afterwards, the worst being the headaches, probably from dehydration. One day a friend made a comment that I had a body that wasn’t made for running and was insulted by this, he was a referring to images of the tall, lean, people who often ran races and here I was of short stature. Unfortunately it made me more determined, not that I ever broke world records, but I did some silly things such as run with hangovers, on freezing ground, so I would wrap a scarf around my face so I could breathe in warm instead of the cold air, it was a ridiculous.

   Yes there comes a point when the body can’t do it anymore. We observe so many sports where the body is just thrown around, and it receive some jolts, knocks and jarring, it isn’t designed for that. We push our bodies to the extreme and all along what is missing is the connection to ourselves. Once we have this, we know we are enough that we do not need to go looking elsewhere, as in outside of ourselves, it is all there within us.

   I am becoming more and more acquainted with my body, and in this, my relationship with my body is deepening, it is a working progress, but I am now making different choices and they are for me and my body…

4. Jane thanks again for your sharing – this must be the 3rd or 4th time I read and re-read your blog and each time I can relate to what you have shared but also I find it difficult to read the blog – not because it has been written in a bad way but simply because it reminds me of how much I used to punish myself too by not listening to the body and by letting the mind decide what was best rather than allowing the body to speak up. It actually makes me feel a little sick to the stomach when I really let myself think about all the things I too have done that have really bashed myself and mistreated myself because of needing to prove myself as opposed to deeply accepting the amazing being that I am and letting that out! The latter is of course a process of unfoldment and one that I am discovering has no end.

5. I came back to this blog because to some extent we all have this self abusive tendency which is to completely ignore numb out what our bodies are showing/telling us. To run, after just giving birth and running with breasts full of milk no wonder you had mastitis which can be very unpleasant to deal with, usually resulting in course of antibiotics. Why do we insist on such reckless and abusive behaviour?

   1. Mary this blog does highlight the abuse we put our bodies through, and I’m sure everyone of us can thing of a reckless or abusive behaviour. It’s constantly in our faces, driving, drinking, drugs, smoking, eating and the list goes on. The key is the connection to ourselves, then those so called temporary thrilling things aren’t important in our lives anymore. The reality, we are a long way from this…

6. “No matter how much faster I ran, how many people I passed and how many medals I won, only to toss them in a drawer, it did not change who I was.” we could really apply this to more than competitive exercise, such as shopping and accumulating material goods, studying and qualifications, even plastic surgery… the true contentment comes from reconnecting to who we are within. Nothing can fill us up or remedy the constant unsettlement like our own essence can.

7. What you have written here Jane is Gold
   “That day I got to feel that, deep down, all of that trying and pushing of my body never changed anything. No matter how much faster I ran, how many people I passed and how many medals I won, only to toss them in a drawer, it did not change who I was.”
   We fight ourselves all the time and as I have discovered it is such a futile battle, because nothing changes who we truly are. I have been running away from myself for life times and at last with a huge amount of support from Universal Medicine I feel ready to face myself again, no matter how far or fast we run at some point we all return to who we truly are. For some of us it takes a few life times and for some their return is easy but we will all get there in the end; after all there is really nowhere to run to… that’s another illusion we have fallen for.

8. “No matter how much faster I ran, how many people I passed and how many medals I won, only to toss them in a drawer, it did not change who I was.” This realisation is worthy of a medal of self-love.

9. What a beautiful example of listening to the body and not over riding its communication for the sake of our ideals and experiences that we pursue.

10. The sadness you speak of here Jane is at the heart of all our competition, for it doesn’t change who we are, how many medals or awards we win, and in crushing our own bodies be it through sport or work we destroy our ability to be the quality we naturally are.

11. Wow Jane such an amazing transformation from competitive running to now gentle exercising your body, this is only possible when we see the harm we place on our body by constantly driving and pushing it beyond its natural ways.

    1. My body will no longer let me do the old harmful running and intense exercise I used to regularly do, now I enjoy gentle exercise, and my body loves this.

12. We are all lonely runners if we do not make life about connection first and foremost.

    1. Life is about connection, connecting to our bodies and honouring them, and then connecting with each other.

13. We are so good in our reasoning to override our innate feelings that things are not okay. Just because we want to achieve or meet a certain image we have taken on as how we want to be instead of just being ourselves.

14. “I had read somewhere that a local runner and Olympic medallist had gone straight back to running after giving birth so I decided that I could too.” Media can be so poisonous as is shown in this line but it also needs those that look for distraction for not having to be with the delicate tenderness they truly are.

15. “I felt no urge to push my body, keep up or overtake anyone. Instead I felt a sudden and deep sadness”. You never know when that moment will happen when you finally let your body speak, but it does happen for us all. You get to feel how and why you have been pushing yourself and there can naturally be a sadness in that realisation.

16. So many people say that they love running whilst at the same time complain about the pain that they have in their body from it. The body never lies so it must be telling us something about running that we need to heed.

17. We buy into packages. We disregard the body in the name of getting the pleasure of beating someone else at a competition, even if the other is not competing with us.

18. Changing from looking for validation externally to honouring and appreciating oneself for oneself with self-nurturing care brings all the validation to feel the fulness of oneself.

19. When schools finally let go of competition … what an incredible shift that will be … and absolutely necessary for our evolution.

20. Exercise is not a place for competition, but a place to develop a body of love.

21. No matter how many times I read this blog, I am amazed by how crazy our behaviour can get when we are hooked by an idea of what we want to achieve or think will be a good idea. The sad thing is that we are encouraged by others for our extreme behaviour too, as though disregard and self-abuse are hero worthy.

22. These days I love to exercise and find that when I have a true purpose for doing it is feels a whole lot easier and simpler.

23. This truly is an amazing turnaround, Jane. I know how attractive and addictive those tastes of ‘success’ and recognition is and it’s very hard to step back and see what really is going on, and we often end up going to the extremes or keeping swapping the activity we engage in, thinking to ourselves we are changing or progressing when in fact we are just reinforcing the same pattern over and over and over, taking ourselves further away from what we are in truth missing and wanting to be reunited.

24. It’s very humbling when we start being able to listen to our body more and actually start seeing a sense in what we have been aware of but pushing away, as giving that a voice would disturb our ‘normal’ and discover and reacquaint ourselves with something very gentle and tender but surprisingly familiar.

25. Running makes me feel that all my organs are being hit by a truck. Could not do even a little bit of it.

26. To pay attention and listen to our body is extremely beautiful and so worth appreciating as not only is it supporting our body and wellbeing, it can be life-changing.

27. This blog serves as a great example of the things that we do to gain recognition and the harming effort that has on us. We all have our different ways of doing this,which is something that we have a responsibility towards ourselves to discover.

28. It is so incredible how far we will go to feel recognised and accepted when recognition and acceptance are no match for knowing and loving who you are.

29. So powerful when we simple connect to ourselves, every thing that is false or untrue begins to slowly fall away.

30. What a profound and life-changing moment you share here Jane.
    “I felt no urge to push my body, keep up or overtake anyone. Instead I felt a sudden and deep sadness. I completed the race at a very gentle pace, puzzled about how I was feeling, but knowing that my relationship to competition had changed”.

31. “I realised everything I was doing was to gain a sense of:
    – Validation
    – Self-worth
    – Recognition”
    Crazy to feel how we can be driven by these as a motivation to do something, whilst over-riding the body’s gentle communications to just be and feel the loveliness within. This is such a familiar pattern for me, yet to be broken!

32. Thank you Jane for this deeply revealing and yet simple blog which was a re-read for me! I too was very much into running when I was in my teens, as part of training for tennis competitions, but there was more to the running and training than met the eye – and this was the same as you have shared here in your blog which was the seeking of external validation and worth. Strangely what I am sensing today after many years of the competition and training etc, I am still discovering how I have pockets of seeing the validation from outside, but not from sports or training but from other areas such as excessive study or work! Funny how it can creep in in so many ways!

33. Thank you Jane for sharing your journey with exercise, from competition to exercise with connection to yourself. We have so many ideals and pictures of how exercise should be that we may be quite stunned to connect to how we actually feel, and to realise our body and being are communicating something else. I often see exercise groups outdoors and they are led by very stern, militant, forceful people, it seems quite punishing how they are being spoken to and consequently how they are treating their bodies. It points to the complication we constantly bring to life through ideals and beliefs, that we believe there is a certain or ‘right’ way to do things such as the ‘no pain, no gain’ belief around exercise, instead of the simplicity of listening to our inner heart and body and the wisdom within.

34. It is amazing quite how much we put and push our bodies through to simply achieve some task or goal we have set out to do no matter what the short or long term cost to our body may be.

35. The running seems so intense. I felt tired just reading about how you exercised. I never enjoyed running – my body told me it was not good for me – but of course I found other forms of exercise to push myself. I am newly pregnant and experiencing the pull to be still and much more tender – so I am watching as exercise takes a much less intense role in my life and reading this blog makes me feel at ease in my body knowing that the most important thing we can do is listen to it.

    1. That is great Hannah! 🙂 I fully agree that the most important thing we can do is listen to our body. It is there with us 24/7 and can support us more the more we support it.

36. “by competing I was keeping myself separate and in comparison to everyone else”, when we push ourselves in this way it is an exercise in self harm.

37. ‘…exercise can be light, playful, fun…’ this is a gift of a statement that supports us to debunk the beliefs about ‘no pain no gain’ and hardship being the only way to effectively work our bodies.

    1. Matilda, what a refreshing thing to realise! I spent years in the belief of no pain no gain, pushing hard at training and then patting myself on the back for feeling sore or terrible after training thinking this was a good thing! But what is crazy is that once you learn that this is a myth and a fallacy, it is like a part of you that has invested in so much of this does not want to let go of this and realise how easy and simple and lovely it can be – for admitting this would make one feel like a fool!

38. What are we really training for? Who are we trying to outdo when we compete with another one? It well may not be what it seems to be.

39. It is a totally different feeling in the body to exercise according to what is needed and how the body feels. Honouring our bodies and what they offer in terms of carrying us through our days allows us to bring ourselves more fully in life.

40. I can totally identify with suddenly wondering what I was doing with all this running. I used to absolutely love running, but it was more of a temporary distraction and escape. It did make me feel great, but it never really dealt with the underlying tension I was constantly running away from. Learning to feel underneath the tension, to a stillness and steadiness that was always there but that I’d disconnected from and couldn’t feel, is what started to shift things.

41. Exercising for the intention to be recognised or identified is short-lived, for it is not true for our bodies to be pushed and abused as it is only a matter of time before we are given a correction. It is only through appreciation and acceptance of self that we can start to approach exercise as a support in honoring our bodies level of delicateness and love.

42. Competition is anathema to conscious presence and true living.

43. ‘I have learned that exercise is about connection first and if I exercise in connection to myself, not only does it feel amazing, that same quality of connection remains with me long after I finish my exercise. It is what I take into the rest of my day. ‘ Beautiful Jane – truly honouring.

44. How many of us participate in something that we know deep inside is not really good for us and to do so we have to override the wise and caring messages that our body is offering? So, it’s a double whammy; one we are ignoring the harm we are doing to our body and two we have to bring in a force to harden ourselves to do so. And we humans consider ourselves the most intelligent species? If we came to understand that our body is actually the one with the true intelligence and that our mind is the one that leads us astray we would then naturally begin to live a life in connection to ourselves where listening to and honouring the wisdom of this amazing body of ours is the most normal thing to do.

45. How very wise our bodies are and when we have these moments where our bodies say “no more stress and or pain,” we take the space to honour, move and value who we are and then move to support this knowing with our very next step, that is hugely inspiring. Thank you Jane.

46. I know this sounds really ridiculous but I have also felt a similar thing to walking on the street with strangers where in the past either myself or the other person would try and walk past one another pretending everything was okay but really wanting to get in front of the other person. Nothing was said but this tiny bit of competition could be felt in that I am going to go ahead of you! ‘I would see my fellow runners as opponents whom I had to beat and my tactic was to overtake them one by one, seeing each of these as a mini triumph.’ When I got to the point where you were saying you could no longer ignore what your body was telling you my body felt a sense of relief. Which shows to me just how we affect one another. So wow if the world stopped competing against each other in the many ways we currently do just how lovely would we all feel!

    1. I love what you are sharing here Vicky, because it shows that even in the littlest things we can get caught up in competition.

    2. I have had the same thing driving my car, it may be subtle but there is an underlying competitiveness in overtaking. It’s the whole illusion we can be better than another by being in front when we are actually all equal by virtue of our essence and where we come from.

47. The fact that you sometimes enjoyed the training but looked forward to the races is a giveaway that the actual running was not the prime motivator. We do things like running that our body actually feels abused by, for recognition, to feel good about ourselves compared to others etc. None of this leaves you any better off at the end and instead reinforces our feelings of lack within ourselves.

    1. That is the problem with recognition, it can only ever be temporary as a relief from the emptiness we feel inside. It’s only ever our connection to ourselves that brings a true sense of contentment and being full again. Much of the world is based on feeding the emptiness, whether it’s sports events, entertainment, education, or any other system based on recognition. Many of these are also seen as good and celebrated, so far are we from living connected to ourselves as a society that we champion recognition and individuality, even if we destroy our bodies in the process. Competing, winning, and achieving is placed ahead of love and connection to our essence.

48. We are raised believing that competition is a good thing, always striving and trying to be better than another. But in truth there is nothing healthy and true about competition for there is always a compromise in our bodies and quality within to be less of the truth of who we are.

49. When you said how you pushed yourself to swim a certain length no matter how you were feeling it reminds me how we can get stuck in a rut of thinking that we have to do a set exercise regime but in that we’re not accounting for variances in what may be truly supportive for our body – some days we may need more, some less or a different kind of exercise…

50. Our self worth does not come from the outside as you show in this blog Jane, we can start building self worth by how connected and loving we are with ourselves.

51. This blog always reminds me of how powerful and harmful role models can be. The heroes we uphold for overcoming challenges or for overriding everything in their body, such as the woman who ran straight after giving birth, sets people up to do crazy things – just to prove they can. When we rely on getting our self-worth from competing with others we are doomed to stop listening to our body.

    1. That is the crazy thing about ideals, they often keep going to more extremes such as running straight after birth, surgically removing ribs to get the body image ideal of a cinched waist, or any other number of ways we harm ourselves to align to a picture of how we or life is ‘supposed’ to be.

52. The strength of the conviction that racing and competition is good for us runs heavily in society. We have a message that high intensity exercise is good no matter what, it is never taught to us about listening to how we feel, beyond a small mention to occasionally rest if we have overdone it. I can see in this experience Jane how you were encouraged to run and remember many times where I have done endurance races and been praised for the massive effort. But what are we being praised for, what is the encouragement and praise really saying, what is the achievement in pushing the body. We have sedentary societies yes, but the answer to obesity isn’t found in pushing to our limits in reaction to our inactivity, it is found in consistent movement of the body that nurtures and respects our limitations and slowly builds our strength, stamina and flexibility to a level that makes life enjoyable, or maintaining this if we are already there, any more than this is not necessary and should never be celebrated.

    1. The ideals around exercise would be a factor in sedentary populations, as images of exercise being punishing, forceful, harsh, and pushing ourselves to the limits is very off putting. How much more welcoming a gentle exercise routine is!

53. Amazing that you were able to let go of the competitiveness as that is quite a big step when you are so identified by it. It shows how we can always say oops that was not it and choose the other way whatever recognition is hanging on the act, the true love and feeling content in our bodies is worth much more than that.

54. It is a spectacular moment when we realise how futile and destructive competition is because all along, we have been fighting a war, not only against our body but also and most importantly, our essence. It is not natural to be competitive, it is something we have been taught and decided to adopt for the apparent rewards it promises and of course, mainly delivers in this world of ours. But who really wants to be dependent on others and wins or successful outcomes for how they feel? It smacks of dependency and a very contracted way to live.

55. Jane this is great to read as it gives such a clear understanding of how narrowing and reductionist competition is and how when we’re in that state we’re not fully aware of us and our bodies. Makes no sense at all.

56. I have felt this too and it is really lovely, ‘I have learned that exercise is about connection first and if I exercise in connection to myself, not only does it feel amazing, that same quality of connection remains with me long after I finish my exercise. It is what I take into the rest of my day.’

57. I have used various tactics over the years to avoid being truly present and with myself, and still am working with staying present and connected to my body all the time. I wonder why this has been quite so challenging a task, especially feeling how lovely it is when you do feel this connection with your essence.

    1. Indeed Lorraine, we have many tactics to stray us away from that lovely feeling of being in our body and with that the connection with our essence. We are all looking for this connection but too have those many tactics to distract ourselves. Can you then say that we do live in two different dimensions and that there is an inner battle in us which one to choose?

58. Competition is so rife in our society and seems to come at us from all angles so to put up ones hands and say No. I’ll do it my way. I will connect to myself and obey the dictates of my soul is pretty awesome and the only way if we are to feel whole and complete.

59. Awesome exposure of the emptiness of competition and how it leads us to nowhere constructive. Medals do not truly fulfil a person, relationships of real love and care with others and with ourselves, that is what truly nourishes us.

60. I have never been someone who participated in competitive sport but I have come to realise that even if we are just doing our own routine in the gym we can be competition even with ourselves. The challenge is always to remain ourselves and then we do not get caught up in competition.

61. A lovely sharing Jane, our body is always communicating to us, it is up to us when we choose to feel and listen to what it shares, ‘I could feel that running did not feel good in my body, that by competing I was keeping myself separate and in comparison to everyone else, and that while I was running, my focus became very narrowed so I could not truly enjoy my body or the beauty in nature around me.’

62. Goals and targets do not support the body in its ever evolving state.

63. Just reading this blog has allowed me to feel the exhaustion levels the body can go to when we are running it to the ground. What a transformation and huge healing from this blog for the world to read. Thank you!

64. Our body loves movement, it is made to move, but only in accordance from a divine impulse that naturally occurs when we connect within… and then we express that out.

    1. That’s a beautiful reminder Jenny, our connection to our body is key before we express out.

65. Thank you Jean I never realised a woman would go to such extremes just after having a baby to prove herself to the outside world. When reading I was thinking if we could interview all the other runners , I wonder what outside glory where they seeing from the public to prove themselves .

66. Exercising without a goal is extremely fun I am finding and it allows me the space to explore what my bodies limits are, that do change, respectfully rather than finding them after I’ve pushed through them!

67. I’d say that has something to do with all the thoughts and beliefs that running is healthy for us. But those thoughts come in after we’ve pushed the body too far. The mind is there to cover up being aware of how pushing ourselves felt/feels. Which doesn’t feel loving or healthy at all.

68. Jane, the drive you had to compete is common in many people. With me it was not running but exercise. It was a knee injury that stopped me from teaching up to eight aerobic classes a week on top of a full time job. I then turned to yoga after my injury thinking it was gentler, but the drive was still there in needing to perfect the postures. I eventually listened to what my body was saying and stopped all the exercise for a while. Its good to get to the root cause of this kind of addictive behaviour and I agree for me it was for validation and recognition.

69. I had read somewhere that a local runner and Olympic medallist had gone straight back to running after giving birth so I decided that I could too”. This is the kind of harm that role models can create in society. We hear about something a role model has done and the recognition, fame, notoriety they have received for it , then we aspire to be that too. This aspiring to be like someone else leaves us feeling not enough (even when we achieve something) and without a steady sense of ourselves or what is right for our body.

70. This is such a profound turnaround Jane that reflects for us that there comes a time when we give up the ‘race of life’ and stop seeing others as those we must complete against but more so those that walk beside us.

71. The moment we start to compete with another is the moment that we totally lose ourselves.

    1. Because we have made the choice to live in separation to another and thus this creates a great divide within ourselves. Or – perhaps we could say that because we feel divided within ourselves by virtue of withdrawing from the expression of the love we are, we then seek activities that confirm and thus validate this wayward move.

       We are here to work with each other, not against each other, and not without each other.

72. ‘…. I could feel an inner war going on which felt far greater. My body was shouting at me to stop and feel what I was doing to myself.’ How often do we feel this happening and ignore all the signs that our body is giving us? Many, I would say. We can always feel deeper into the the subtleties of the body’s wise teachings.

73. Realising that it was through competition that you were seeking validation and that in fact it never changes anything is huge. Imagine what the world would be like if everyone appreciated this and realises the enjoyment of living connected to oneself outweighs any buzz or false sense of achievement from competition?

74. “I received much encouragement along the way. Any reservations about running were soon forgotten and I finished the course in a very respectable time”. This is the part of the story that stands out to me. I grew up with a marathon runner in the family and over the years have seen them receive much recognition and praise for it. What I find interesting is that no one asks about the sore knees, hips or lower back from all that impact or the times of vomiting and days exhausted in bed afterwards. No one wonders what was happening in the rest of the family when the runner was out every night training for hours on end. So for people to applaud a woman running so soon after giving birth shows me again how upside down our priorities are in society. We love the person who triumphs over their body rather than the one who deeply nurtures. We relish the individual achievement rather than the development of strong relationships.

75. You mention running on a full stomach, Jane. This took me back to my first ever experience in running in a competitive race. I was five, in grade one and at the inter school sports and I won my heat. After running the heat and before the final I was hungry, so I ate a pie. The adults around me said eating would make me slower, wether it did or not, I don’t know, but I didn’t win the final. What has stuck from that experience though is that to follow what I feel (to eat) was ‘wrong’, as the adults were disappointed I didn’t win.
    Competition is truly deeply harming and in my instance it has taken to this moment to this moment to recognise the harm of this belief and let it go, the next step as I forever more trust what I feel everyday.

76. When our sense of contentment comes from a stillness – it’s crazy that we go into the exact opposite –
    extreme motion, running and activity to gain recognition as a replacement.

77. Forgive me Jane, but as I started reading this, I thought I was reading the story of a man. It gave me quite a shock to realise otherwise when you mentioned your pregnancy. The hardness so many of us women put ourselves into, however we do that (and running is just one way), both astounds and saddens.

78. As I read this blog all I could feel was the countless training my body went through. I could have a hangover and my body was forced to go for a run – oh dear so unsupportive and hard on it.

    It is only recently that I have commenced re-imprinting my relationship with exercise and my body and there is no jarring, no pushing, no routine just what ever my body and I fancy on the day. I don’t ache, I don’t sweat and I don’t feel exhausted afterwards or hit that 3 pm wall I often used to hit when I pushed myself past its limits.

79. I was talking to someone the other week and she mentioned that she didn’t like to run because of the strain it puts onto her hips and knees, and that so many people that she knew or had heard of needed surgery to repair damaged joints. Particularly as we get older or more fragile/sensitive (such as just after giving birth!) this form of jolting exercise can definitely do more damage than good to the body.

80. It is incredible how much we override our body to play sport – even to the point of death…as has happened recently on the field, a number of times.

    1. Yes Jenny, its quite shocking the amount of deaths we have seen, particularly of footballers whilst playing a match. The drive required to play such competitive sports, means that the messages of the body get overridden, especially when the financial stakes are so high. The physical and emotional price we pay is way too high, and what messages are we then sending to our youngsters who want to emulate their sporting idols?

81. “I have learned that exercise is about connection first and if I exercise in connection to myself, not only does it feel amazing, that same quality of connection remains with me long after I finish my exercise. It is what I take into the rest of my day..” This is pure gold Jane, and completely the opposite of most exercise ‘regimes’, that invoke you to ‘try harder’, beat previous goals and have no connection with the essence of you whilst exercising.

82. Incredible blog Jane, super inspiring and confirming how important it is to listen to our body. It never feels great to beat someone at a race when we stop and truly listen to our body. I remember almost passing out when I went to an exercise class called spin that was about pushing our body hard. My body was screaming for me to stop each time I pushed it too hard, my experience of that one class was enough for me to listen to my body to not go back.

83. It is lovely to exercise in connection with my whole body, rather than try and prove my worth by competing with or being ‘better’ than another at something…

84. Competitive running is big business, not only on a physical level and as a hobby, people are obsessed with running. It has so many hallmarks with it that state running is healthy and makes you feel amazing. Yet what most people have to put the body into, in order to withstand the impact that running has on the body is quite significant.

    1. It just shows how much in general we are seduced by external ideals and beliefs rather than honouring and appreciating ourselves and our own innate wisdom we have in our bodies.

85. I’ve heard a lot of people say how sport is not for them, due to the relentless competitive streak it brings out. This is great. But what I have started to see is even if we don’t indulge in this, we often still live in a competitive way, measuring ourselves constantly against our partners, friends, colleagues and the ideals we have in our head. What an exhausting race we run, like the one you describe Jane. But perhaps the worst part of this situation is the lack of collaboration, equality and respect. We never get each other’s backs. I’m seeing now this is something I can turn around if I choose to stop carrying on in this selfish way.

86. Really interesting reading your blog, that being competitive is and can stop you from truly connecting with yourself. That we can and choose that all the time, to disconnect with ourselves. That the love of competition can be more appealing than that of our connection to self. So a great sharing on how to let go of that competition and commit to and feel the amazingness of connection with self.

87. We can use sport to run away from ourselves, to attempt to fill the void that will never be filled with substitutes for the true love and connection we seek and to distract ourselves, to abuse ourselves, to compete, to identify and the list goes on. In all such pursuits, there is no true connection to the heart and body for if there were, our true inner-most objection to such tension and lovelessness would be felt and heard.

88. Seeking recognition and validation seem to be such hugely ingrained behaviours in so many of us. I didn’t realise for a very long time that I too was seeking that validation, expecting someone to praise me and tell me what a great job I had done. When I feel into that now I can feel the separation that occurred each time I sought validation from another; I can feel how I left me, left my body and of course if I didn’t get what I was looking for then there would be a reaction and the cycle would continue, exhaustively so. When we stay connected to our body there is no need to look outside of ourselves for we have everything that we need right with us.

89. This blog is truly remarkable as I have witnessed the hold that comes with competitive sports and how this impacts on all aspects of ones life and the quality they live. The work of Serge Benhayon is a gift that has allowed you to feel that the abuse that comes with extreme exercise is hiding deeper levels of hurt that would have remained uncovered. Thank you for writing about a topic that is often brushed under the carpet and it championed as the ideal way to live and be. This blog needs to be published in many sports journals.

90. A powerful article that is asking for one to ponder on how we live life, not just how we exercise. Competition always leaves someone less, and often that is ourselves. So why do we insist on constantly playing into this behavior, is our feeling of self worth so low that a few seconds of euphoria at one upping another is worth many experiences of being the one on the loosing side? I am learning, that, no, it isn’t.

91. So often our bodies have to shout at us to stop doing something that is harming us. How much more loving would it be to be on the front foot and actually heed the messages of the body on a moment by moment basis? This is true support for ourselves.

    1. True – we often dont listen until we are forced to – often our body collapsing in a heap or another ailment, illness or stop of some kind. It would be a far wiser way to live, on the front foot, heeding our inner-wisdom and feedback from our body that never is not on offer.

92. I have just started exercising again and are loving swimming without pressure to do so many laps and walking some lengths just doing what is felt to be next not just focussed on my body. What you raise here about competition is really interesting and something I relate to. So much more loving to not be in the caught in this trap of recognition.

93. I can see the attraction in winning competitions and how it can become addictive, but its also a set up to keep you in drive because of course if you don’t win, there is not much recognition in being an ‘also ran.’

94. I tried running for a while. I used to see others doing it and it looked like a good thing to do, but I never really enjoyed it and it felt damaging especially to my knee joints. I certainly know my body enjoys exercise and how beneficial it is, however I have ditched the punishing regimes and now follow my own gentle program.

95. Exercise is very good for our body. But I rarely hear any one talk about discerning how we exercise and what we choose to do. We can shut down our body awareness quickly when we exercise, meaning that we can push ourselves without realising that we are increasing the risks of injury and of course some of these can be quite serious. Injury does not have to be part and parcel of doing exercise.

96. There is no connection in competition, even though some like to believe there is, because if there was then there would not be the emptiness that prevails after. And if there was love in it then why would we need to grin and bear it and just get on with it or like I did when running, numb out by daydreaming or listening to music so to not feel how much my body hurt physically and emotionally.

97. It’s pretty awesome to read this Jane and I love the moment you decided to stop pushing yourself to compete quite simply because your body was telling you so and not for any other reason, because you could have carried on and pushed that feeling aside and pushed even harder to achieve your goal, but it is the fact that that goal could now been seen for what is was – merely a singular moment of recognition amongst a multitude of moments when just being you is more than enough.

98. Beautiful Jane, pushing ourselves against one another is seen as such a ‘normal’ thing to do, most considering it to be natural to be competitive. But the truth is it is not at all normal to compete against one another, as your body showed you loud and clear. When we disconnect from our bodies, it is easy to override the fact it is not normal.

99. Its looked upon as a good thing if we spend so much time burrowing into something, like exercise/runnning/swimming etc and then training even harder, pushing ourselves and spending a lot of time doing this – meanwhile life is going on and there are so many other things which require our importance. The thing about being so driven in one aspect is that it is making us withdraw in other aspects and not cope.

100. There is so much competition in sport and recreational exercise. I know that the current craze is to compete in traithalons, or marathons, putting oneself through gruelling training schedules to ‘achieve’ something. A friend of mine did just that, he would say ‘oh, I am just going to do this one marathon’ then of course he did, putting himself through intense pain and agony to ‘get it achieved’, then finished it and is onto the next one. So the satisfaction of having ‘achieved it’ has not registered, so there needs to be something else on the horizon to fill the gap, the emptiness. This is all too common.

101. It’s incredible to see what we can do to ourselves and the extremes we are willing to go to that are so far away from our natural state – all in order to attain ‘something’ that actually means nothing if we are not valuing ourselves to begin with.

102. There is a belief with excecise that if you aren’t pushing yourself to despair than you aren’t doing enough or aren’t going to get any results, but this form of excercise is purely based on achieving images and goals at the expense of our body, which is made for gentle forms of excercise and craves connection.

103. Exercise can be a joyful and supportive way to look after our bodies, however, in disconnection and need for the recognition we can exercise abusively and bury things deep down with the illusion that we are doing something right and being healthy.

104. I have done this in the gym, I have felt a push or drive to go into turbo boost and ignore my body for a speed or adrenaline, but I now stop reconnect and take a moment for stillness and return to the activity with more clarity and purpose. Still exercise but the quality has been greatly improved and because there is no exhaustion it is sustainable.

105. “I would see my fellow runners as opponents whom I had to beat and my tactic was to overtake them one by one, seeing each of these as a mini triumph.” When competition runs us, all of life is a race and this is how all people are seen.

106. The joy that comes from living in connection compared to the buzz of recognition or reaction is so stark once we start to connect to and listen to our body. The more I connect the less tempting these reactions to life or the trying to be something or recognised is becoming.

107. Your turnaround is amazing Jane, thank you for sharing. The kick we get from winning is huge and can make us push through at times we cannot go any further normally. It is only when we stop and feel what it does to our bodies that we can start to make more loving choices.

108. Jane you have highlighted the issue with competition (and driving ourselves for goals or other achievements), once we win or reach the goal the emptiness of lack of connection to self is still there, so we must push to then get to the next win or goal. We learn this in education too so it starts early. How different life is when lived from connection instead and honouring the wisdom of the body, and how great it would be to have this as our foundation in education, not competition.

109. I strained my foot a couple of days ago and have not been able to go for my daily walk but what it has also highlighted for me is how interconnected all parts of my body are. I have been much more conscious of how I am moving the rest of my body to try and protect my foot and how this is putting a strain on other areas. It has made me appreciate the natural flow of my movements and how even a slight injury caused by a moment of disconnection has impacted my life.

110. I used to regularly swim 20-40 lengths and would focus on overtaking whoever was ahead of me as a way of pushing myself to complete the distance in the shortest time possible. I never considered my body in this and there was certainly no connection with how it felt as I was invested in ticking the keeping fit is good box in my life. I rarely swim nowadays and feel I have yet to re-imprint my former experiences and connect with swimming in a truer way that takes all of me into account. Thank you for sharing your journey and inspiring me to reconsider how I can exercise in a way that honours my body.

111. Wow, the things we put our bodies through without actually stopping to consider whether it’s a good thing or not. There is something inside us that drives us forward that totally overrides what our bodies are telling us. It’s totally mad!

112. Competition and competitive running is something we all got caught up at school (or assiduously avoided!) When I first went in a race and then won I, from then on, did it for recognition and praise. One would never have thought of going in a running race, but once having done it the hook is there if we say yes to it. I gave it up at the end of high school but substituted it with something else – music and literature. But I was still wanting stimulation, just getting it in another form – via culture. The stimulation, which prevents us from surrendering to the stillness and wisdom of the innermost is the insidious hook.

113. What are we actually running from when we run, socially, competitively, habitually? …. Could it be that we are running away from connecting to the beauty and love that is within our body? A form of numbing? Amazing story to read sharing your awareness to the why? and the what for? Thank you!

114. It’s crazy what we do to ourselves and our body for a slice of the recognition pie. Deep down, we know recognition just doesn’t cut it, because we keep on searching for and needing it as it is so short lived. So, is it worth compromising ourselves? When we start to validate and accept ourselves, the fullness is felt and recognition can begin to feel like a downer by comparison!

115. I can remember well the adrenaline shot of competing, the nerves beforehand, the desire to do well and the fear of being lesser than another. It was such a destructive place to be in, as whatever the outcome the short term high was always replaced soon after by a feeling of emptiness. Competition has that affect, going up against others is not a natural part of our make up, I don’t believe it is, as when we work with others the feeling of satisfaction is far greater than any race I ever won. In fact just hanging out with friends is a far greater feeling than winning any medal.

116. Your story is a real eye-opener for me, Jane. As a non-athletic person, I used to feel awkward being in the body and always thought that those who were athletic were very connected with their body and knew their body very well and that was why they were able to do what they did, and I used to judge myself for not being that.

117. As you so honestly share here, recognition is often a major driver for us to be pushing ourselves and claiming that we ‘enjoy’ whatever the activity we do – be it sport, study, work, project… and eventually we are faced with what our body has had to endure and hold for so long. Allowing the body to take the lead is something I am learning too.

118. I know that too, being competitive in sport in the past but that nothing in me at this moment of time does need this anymore. I do not get fulfilled anymore by the recognition or validation I received from myself or from others, and to be honest this never has been the case as it was just the emptiness that I felt within that impossibly can be filled with any recognition or reward, but only with allowing myself to feel the love that I naturally am.

119. Exercising and walking in presence definitely makes a difference to how I feel in my body, it simply adds more vitality to my day. Like you Jane I had to over-ride my feelings to run and exercise, so thank you Jane this has been great for me to explore those days when I used to push my body to its limits. I am now starting to let go of the deep momentum I had for all sorts of activities and I have just included taste as a sensation of the mouth to that list of things that my spirit craves for to keep me from being present!

120. Having recently started an exercise program I can definitely feel the difference when I move with presence and the connection to my body in each movement. There is more flow and lightness from my body and my movements don’t feel forced or jerky. The quality of our movement changes when we move with presence and connection and it flows into the rest of our day too. Thank you Jane.

     1. Indeed kellyzarb, although our body is designed to move as in that we express and multiply the quality we live, it is important to know in what quality we move as that is what we bring in all of our day too and can come from a gentle exercise or from a movement in competition. I now know which one to choose.

121. Jane what you have shared here is amazing – amazing in the sense that you talk about how you now realise that you over rode your body and all it was saying to you and that this was actually working against you. These things need to be shared in a society where we are so encouraged to over-ride the body and just use our mind to get through things like races or competition etc. There are cases I have heard of where elite athletes undergo surgery or something similar and then are celebrated for appearing at the races a few days later. What is this actually celebrating? The celebration of not listing to the body and using mind over matter, and forcing yourself to do things that do more damage in the long run? Our world seems to have things upside down – hence why such blogs are needed so show how this may not be the way to do things – that there is a way to treat and handle the body that is deeply caring and honouring of what is happening.

122. When we are looking for”validation, self-worth or recognition” we each have our own flavor of how to go about gaining it, for some it is in sport and competition, for others music, for others dancing. This list could go on, if we choose to be very honest, as anything done with an intention to gain acceptance and recognition from another is but a doing, without the beauty and grace of self being present during the doing. Once this is felt, many old behaviours and ways of being are let go of for more honest, tender, loving ways of being in and moving our bodies through that which is our life.

123. “I have learned that exercise is about connection first and if I exercise in connection to myself, not only does it feel amazing, that same quality of connection remains with me long after I finish my exercise. It is what I take into the rest of my day.” – this is something I can develop more of when I exercise, and hence it brings more fun and joy into the moment. It is like there is still a part of me that remembers the punishment that I put my body through with past exercise and hence it is an opportunity to re-imprint this!

124. Wow Jane, what an amazing thing to share – this will give so many more people permission to feel if their sport/competition etc is actually coming from a similar space to what you have shared here. I too was into running, but not in a competitive way (I did the competition with other sports) – and there were days when I made myself go for a run even when my body was clearly saying that it was not up for it. I thought that being strong and dedicated was about over-riding what the body was saying and push harder in exercise, and I would consider myself so weak compared to others who could just push through and run and exercise harder. Strange how we get such an idea about things – I really did think I was a ‘wuss’ (a weakling) because my body was just not up for running at times – at certain times of my cycle/menses it felt like I could hardly lift my feet up to run, yet I still made myself go for my 3 runs per week, and if I was unwell with a cold, I would lament about missing out on the fitness even though my body was so needing the rest. Thankfully I have learned and am still learning to listen to my body more and more. I stopped running when I was 4 months pregnant and never ran again (except once to catch a bus!) and since then have let go of many of the ideals I had about needing to push myself to feel like I was someone!

125. I, like you Jane gave up competition a few years ago, yet when I go for a swim I can feel that draw to swim faster than the opposing lane, or not get lapped by anyone, and it isn’t a nice feeling. Far better to do any exercise only with a connection to our body and what feels right. Pushing is something I have found makes my body more shutdown, and actually uncomfortable, whereas staying within my own limits leaves my body more open and expansive.

126. “I gave up running that day. Since then, I have chosen to exercise more and more gently. I enjoy swimming, walking and gentle strengthening and stretching exercises.” Beautiful to re-read your post Jane. I used to go to a gym and the competition there was intense – not only with other people but a constant trying to improve self – no acceptance or gentleness in sight. And the injuries…….. one man had a heart attack on the treadmill – yet I saw him there when recovered, later pounding away again. Listening to his body? Yet I too used to push through, ignoring the signs my body was giving me and now daily I appreciate Universal Medicine for showing me there is another way to exercise.

127. Jane, that’s seriously hardcore. I’ve heard some stories, but running a race a little over a week after giving birth is next level. It’s interesting though, isn’t it, how there comes a day – if you have the awareness and willingness to ask why – when you realise that the sport just isn’t for you. I used to cycle to and from work so that I could max out the time with our little one. But I found I was arriving to work and then back home super racy. Once I recognised this, it was only a matter of time before I gave it up. It may take me longer to get to/from work, but the quality of me being me far exceeds the time.

128. Recently I have been attending the gym more and you can really feel the disconnection and competition in there, which is made so much worse with the MTV videos and music that is blaring out.
     Exercising whist in disconnection from ourselves is actually quite harming for the body – I know if Iv not been with myself when exercising as I can feel exhausted the next day.

129. Competition is an extraordinary thing isn’t it… Touted from right at the start of our lives, and blazing its way of destruction and separation all the way to the end… it is so intrinsically not what we are about as a species for our evolution.

130. “I realized everything I was doing was to gain a sense of validation, self-worth and recognition” This is a great insight. Most of us do things in our lives for one or all of the above reasons and this is why we ignore our bodies in order to get a report in on time, please the boss, do overtime when we are exhausted or simply saying yes when we ought to say no. There is a great need for us to love ourselves enough in order to stop these self-abusive behaviours.

     1. Spot on Elizabeth, for the push and the drive can spill into any are of our lives, not just exercise. And you have nailed it, as such choices stem from our lack of true deep care and love and value of ourselves.

131. Jane, I can so relate to what you have shared here, I too was driven in my competitiveness to compete not for the taking part, although that would be what I actually tell myself but deeper down it was for winning, because it gave me satisfaction and increased my feeling of self worth. However I never knew then of the consequences it would have on my body or how devastating competitive sport can be to those who are not so able, making another look and feel small is nothing to be proud of.

132. In my 20’s I also took up all kinds of sports from martial arts, cycling across deserts in California, and then later on in life swimming 40 lengths in my lunch break, and again martial arts along with keep fit classes – in fact anything that was the latest trend and looked like it would give me the result of slimming down and being healthier, but none of it ever did. All of this activity came with the override factor to push through no matter what pain my body was in – one time in particular stands out for me was when I started to get sciatica and would push myself to do martial arts, but in the end it got so bad I had to quit. I have no regrets because I can now feel how abusive I was to train my body in this way.

133. What I found incredible is that when I started to become aware of the impact of running, my body actually started to speak more loudly. This would play out in niggles that just wouldn’t allow me to run, where for years I ran long and would even say had pleasure in it. It was certainly never a chore. Yet increased awareness meant I had less numbness to the damage I was doing to my own body and so running simply became an activity I would no longer do.

     1. Similar to you Stephen, my body started to speak loudly to me when I would run longer distances than usual. my right hip in particular would be very painful and I realised what I was doing to my joints. After a run where this was particularly acute I decided I would never run again – and I haven’t (except to catch the bus! 😉

134. “by competing I was keeping myself separate and in comparison” …So each stride compounded that separation and comparison – no wonder it took its toll and felt awful in the body. With connection and the enjoyment that brings to exercise, is inspiration for anyone to try it a different way!

135. The so called intense fitness regimes may not be so healthy after all.

136. I used to also really abuse my body with workouts… I was totally oblivious to the effect that all the martial arts was having upon my body… Of course now I am experiencing the results of all this abuse… Wouldn’t that be great to help children connect with themselves in such a way that this inevitable consequence did not happen.

137. It is interesting to consider why as a society we are so focussed on competition, to improve and to make it better. It is never enough, sufficient or satisfying any longer than a few hours after the moment of any achievement. Why is it that we have that tendency to compete and that need to improve continuously. Could it be, that as this blog shows so clearly to me, that we are actually missing ourselves. The sadness that Jane felt after deciding to stop with the last race, is because she could experience how disconnected from that warm and delicate feeling from the inside she became from becoming competitive. So what are we avoiding by having our competitive behaviour is for me now a simple question to answer.

138. It is an amazing feeling when we literally wake up to the fact that something we have considered normal and acceptable in our daily life is no longer a part of our future and we simply let it go to allow the space for choices that are more supportive and loving to be initiated.

139. It’s very simple eat when we are hungry, drink when we are thirsty and rest when we have tried the simple messages from the body. But have we ever considered that the body is capable of communicating so much more?

140. It’s these amazing stop moments that can truly change our lives. The consistency to return to these moments allows our bodies to re-connect to there true natural and gentle movements and from there our expression and quality of life soars.

141. It has been a while since I read this blog but it was just what I needed today – the reminder that connection before exercise takes away the old beliefs that exercise is torture and something to be endured.

142. I was never in to sport, had a go at running, but just wasn’t me…however there where many times when I overrode the signals my body shared…and we all can compete in different ways. When we choose to compete or override the signals, we loose the connection we have with our bodies. This is precious and now something I cherish and nurture.

143. Chasing down recognition can be quite an effort, whether it is the clothes we wear to attract attention, our winning competitions or behaving badly, they are all cries for attention, an outer behaviour for recognition. Jane you have given us a great example of the lengths this need will take us, even overriding the body in the process, but realising in the end none of it really gave us the connection we were deeply missing. Only we can allow that for ourselves by recognising we are already exactly the qualities and essence we are here to express.

144. It is interesting to read the levels of overriding in your body that was needed in order for you to see the harm that it was causing you. Such an honest account of how we can easily fall into the trap of how we perceive fitness in the world today.

145. I winced at the part where you took your baby off the breast at 8 days old to compete in a run! How disconnected and numb we can become from the natural flow and rhythm of the body even when it is screaming at us. A great read Jane, thank you.

146. Up to 60km a week – imagine the additional stress on knees, spine, feet that this puts on in the name of health and fitness. In the cold light of day this just does not make any sense.

     1. My thoughts exactly Simon, I tried running a couple of times but hated it and the stress on my knees, hips and ankles told me that wasn’t a great idea, but I did not listen when it came to martial arts.

147. Isn’t it insane how encouraging people are of others to do extreme things. Running 8 days after giving birth sounds like a nightmare. Your poor body pounding the pavement while stlll recovering from the trauma of the birth. I get it though. There was a time where I would have seen this is some heroic act of strength, determination and power. What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger they say. What an awful phrase. Basically it says push until you nearly break. It’s inspiring to read your turn around and the honesty with how you came to realise that you don’t need to punish your body to feel something.

148. Jane even though you do far less strenuous exercise these days you are obviously living far more harmoniously, healthier and probably even fitter.

149. An inspiring story Jane of listening to our body to tell us the truth of how we are living.The competition, both with others and yourself, the drive for achievement and recognition leaves us empty and always wanting more but when we let go of these we come to appreciate all that we already are.

150. I remember all that competitive pain I would put myself through, and the reason I was so successful at school was that I was able to train harder and put myself through the pain barrier time and again…. until I could not anymore. Then I was left listless, trying to figure out what I was doing? My whole self worth was wrapped up in my achievements that I had not taken the time to develop me on my own. I had totally missed the point!

151. “When my son was 8 days old, I entered a 10km road race. I had read somewhere that a local runner and Olympic medallist had gone straight back to running after giving birth so I decided that I could too.” Everything – whatever we do, how we do it, whatever we bring, how we are in every moment, is a reflection to everyone – and thus an opportunity to confirm to another the truth of who we are, or an endorsement of something that keeps us in the separation and obscuration from that truth.

152. The need to have our little (or big) triumphs governs us in our choice of how to manage it so we can feel fulfilled. Every aspect of our lives can become a field where we can triumph. Every thing can turn into a competition.

153. Really enjoyed reading this, thank you Jane. What you’ve said here about running applies to anything we do in life for recognition or acceptance: work is another big area. So often we’ll push through, in stress and drive, making it all about doing and completing the task at hand, at whatever expense to our bodies. As I develop a connection with my body, it feels less and less comfortable to work like this – it’s an old momentum that is strong and feels challenging to break, but by allowing myself to feel more, slowly things are starting to change.

154. When we do truly listen to the body it is amazing all it reveals, more honest it seems than the mind. I have also pushed myself physically in the past and had many unnecessary injuries in the name of keeping fit and ‘healthy’. What is truly driving us is worth considering.

155. Our chase for validation, recognition and self-worth is ongoing with only ever a fleeting moments of feeling a sense of achievement. Yet it never truly fulfills as the underlying restlessness felt in our bodies, of the emptiness that drives us to chase in the first place, remains unaddressed. When we choose connect to our Love within, our essence, our Soul, all that we do in honor of this connection is filled with the joy of our presence, to which there can be no end, as you have wisely shared – ‘that same quality of connection remains with me long after I finish my exercise’.

156. There’s so much celebration around women ‘who get back into it’ straight after giving birth, almost championed. When it couldn’t be further from where their body is at. We as women are very good at overriding what our bodies are telling us, as you have shared here Jane.

157. An amazing story Jane. What you have learnt about yourself through your body is incredibly inspiring.

158. I loved your sharing Jane. It was quite brutal to read but in that I realised what our minds are capable of doing. The body is quite clear about what it does and doesn’t want to do, yet for some reason we give more importance to the mind. Why has the mind become more important than the body in our society – it is something we pride ourselves on even.

159. I know from my own experience of competitive sport that while I was caught in the activity I wasn’t really aware of how much harm it was doing to me. We are constantly broadcast a message that tells us that it is good for us to compete, it’s healthy, and that pounding our joints in running is great for our body. It is a bit like the Truman show except we are all in the show. It takes many to start living and showing a different way of exercising to allow others the space to consider too what might be the best for movement for our bodies. This for me now is smooth movements that are less harsh on my joints and bones and muscles and ligaments, and I feel it has allowed my body to soften without losing tone.

160. Incredible how driven we can become to “achieve” our goals, as though we are nothing without them. What price is an arm or a leg or a kidney for a moment of glory that we can then grasp onto to uphold us when the emptiness our otherwise life comes knocking on our doorstep.

161. “I quickly overrode those feelings. I knew some of the marshals on the route and many of the competitors, and I received much encouragement along the way.” Amazing how easily we are prepared to over-ride these feelings especially when reconciled with the recognition and verification of others.

162. Your body told you the truth about competition Jane and I love the way you surrendered to it’s wisdom! The strive to achieve for me is always a battle with self, never with the other person!

163. Competition is not natural to us.That is why to ‘succeed’ we have to internally fight/denigrate the other/others first so we can do it externally. The obvious question is what is the meaning of ‘success’ there? The fact that we can ‘successfully’ denigrate someone with no issue or that we can beat them physically?

164. ‘I enjoy how my body feels as I exercise and, on the very odd occasion when I feel the familiar push to be competitive again, I simply stop and connect to how lovely it is to exercise gently and that need to compete melts away.’ It is so true Jane, when we change our way of being to be more loving and true the old familiar feelings and drives can come back because they have become quite deeply engrained. But, as you say, it is a simple choice to come back to a more loving way.

165. Jane, what an amazing turnaround from being in the competition to feeling and deeply hovering yourself while exercising. Our society has a long way to go in regards to coming to this understanding as you have. We have these big staged sporting events that are driven by the need for recognition and achievement, meanwhile we step on each other to gain this.

166. We must at some stage, reflect on what would happen to humanity if there really was no competition. It is such a part of us, and yet it belongs to us not.

167. I am forever appreciative of how honest my body is, the best health adviser ever. It is crazy how we champion acts of physical prowess even though it may be at the expense of our bodies.

168. ‘When my son was 8 days old, I entered a 10km road race. I had read somewhere that a local runner and Olympic medallist had gone straight back to running after giving birth so I decided that I could too’. The news and our magazines champion the fact that people perform such unloving acts – athletes getting off their sick bed to run marathons, women who have just had a hysterectomy perform the triathalon – it is almost as if the media wish to encourage us to destroy our bodies! Like wise your Olympic medallist, Jane, who has just given birth. And because we see such things presented to us we don’t discern and think it is okay – I know that I still do this when I see someone I admire eat something I know is not good – my sneaky spirit rationalises that it must be okay when I know otherwise. Discernment is the name of the game.

169. Thank you for sharing Jane, recently in my home town there was a big running event and after I heard so many people say how sore they felt, many had developed injuries and were in pain. Pushing our bodies like this can seriously not be any good.

170. Running feels so empty and so exhausting. It is like life, we often tend to run round and round the track looking for an end goal only to get there eventually and find it was not quite what we thought or it still left us feeling empty in some way. We have ignored the quality of getting there and it is the quality that matters most.

171. Jane I really appreciate the loving relationship you have built with yourself. It speaks volumes for you to actually listen to your body and say OK enough is enough and I don’t need to push myself this way. A huge turn around from where you were and shows that it is possible to change no matter where you are. Fitness is tough because everyone leaves you alone – they look at you and say wow a mother who still competes how amazing – when in truth your body is crying out to be listened too and loved.

172. A perfect example of how hollow our so-called successes are when we drive ourselves to achieve at any cost for the sake of recognition and acceptance. The emptiness inside can never be filled this way and you have experienced this first hand and very physically in your body and energetically in your attitude to running.

173. This reminds me how often when I did not treat my body well, or would ignore the signs, it would be something to laugh about with my friends, or to show how tough I was…”The day before my son was born, I recall I swam a mile and felt very proud of myself.” I have done this many times, I now know more fully that I am a tender, divine being and I do treat myself more gently. I just got caught up in thinking that I need to be hard and tough as woman and I did not truly honour what I felt. The more I have, the more I am stronger, steadier and courageous, but it comes from a foundation of stillness and sacredness through honouring how I feel and denying it less.

174. I was never sporty and I didn’t used to exercise much, but like many of us, I am very familiar with competition and this little nudge to push to go into the force of competition can come up in many of us “I enjoy how my body feels as I exercise and, on the very odd occasion when I feel the familiar push to be competitive again…” I now enjoy exercise and feeling the stretch and strength and flexing of my body, and I can feel the moments when bit of force comes in and it feels completely different, the joy and stillness that is often there now, is something I choose to come back.

175. when we finally wake up to what is actually driving us, and indeed has probably driven us our whole lives… It can be really shocking, a very profound revelation, and then to take the steps needed so that these previously unconscious motivations no longer run us… This is indeed the path to freedom.

176. I completely relate to this blog having been addicted to exercise from a young age. I took up running when i was about 7 years old as i recognised that the popular people at school were the athletes and i wanted to fit in and be liked. It took me until i was 30 to stop running. I ran 65 kms each week for at least a decade as well as other exercise regimes and whilst i didn’t compete with others, i was daily competing with myself, outdoing my personal best times, extending the distances and all the while ignoring my bodies wisdom.I would not miss a run each day for any reason whatsoever, rain or shine. It took a massive health stop to stop running and then as soon as i was well enough i took it back up. The moment i began to heal my hurts after being introduced to Universal Medicine and start loving myself, the running disappeared of its own accord.I now apply that same discipline and consistency that i have towards caring for myself, deepening my Love and making more loving choices that i once used to attack my body, avoid my pain and identify me.

177. The sadness does not change no matter how many medals or other accolades we achieve or hurdles we push past. The very old choice we make to override the natural childlike joy and playfulness and choose to ‘grow up’ cannot help but sit in our bodies as sadness from departing from that natural loveliness – until we return.

178. ‘No matter how much faster I ran, how many people I passed and how many medals I won, only to toss them in a drawer, it did not change who I was.’ Searching outside of ourselves for recognition and validation will never bring true harmony to us as it is feeling can only be ever fulfilled from within.

179. The urge to either be first or the best necessitates us to constantly surpass one person after another will never be satisfied because we are chasing something to fill an insatiable emptiness that can never be fulfilled from an external force.

180. I love how you always knew what was right for you, even the first time round running and stopping breastfeeding suddenly seemed not right, but in that instance you chose to ignore it. Then several years later you chose to do what was actually being called for- this is key, you allowed your inner wisdom to express itself.

181. one could see that particular race as an epiphany… And really a microcosm of what humanity needs to experience about competition in general and the extraordinary abuse there is heaped upon our bodies… And then to experience the difference in the gentleness and connection to what our body actually wants to do.

182. I can understand why you would feel sad in a competition. Apart from the pain of ignoring the body, there is the pain of watching someone else being crushed when they lose. Winning at the expense of another – where’s the fun in that?

     1. I have spent many years supporting children in the local community sport events and watched the faces of crushed children when competition was rife on the playing field. The disconnection and disappointment would last for weeks.

183. Quite incredible what we are willing to put our body through for the sake of recognition and accolades from other people or society in general; and to top it off, we even accept it as normal and applaud it.

184. There cannot be any joy or play in our exercises if they become goal driven and competitive. This is not the sort of innocent fun we had when we first started playing as kids, yet it has become so much about the outcomes and not about the quality of how it is done.

185. I love coming back to this inspiring and revealing blog. Jane writes, ‘When my son was 8 days old, I entered a 10km road race. I had read somewhere that a local runner and Olympic medalist had gone straight back to running after giving birth so I decided that I could too.’ This shows how influential role models, such as Olympic athletes, are in making certain behaviours acceptable. If someone you look up to does something silly or damaging it can be so easy to override what we know to be true because ‘If they have done it it must be okay’. I am still learning to refine this susceptibility in myself and always discern no matter how amazing the role model may be!

186. How wonderful that you could feel so deeply the change in you from when you would competitively run, in comparison to when you where not invested in recognition, or needing it for self worth. Very powerful to fully feel this and then share, as exercising and how we exercise is very ingrained in a consciousness that isn’t always healthy, even thought people think that it is. What you have shared her debunks all of that.

187. We have made competitive sport something normal, something championed and to be aspired to. Interestingly our bodies can never aspire to such a thing, only our minds.

     1. This is a point worth remembering. Truly how few athletes, if any, now get where they get to naturally without the pain, the pushing, the training. Of course there is a science involved and we can learn and improve like learning maths, but we do not need to follow a picture of how we could be to appreciate what we already have.

188. At the end of the day, we can never outrun our hurts, they inevitably catch up with us to be dealt with.

189. We’ve made it normal and championed it even to override our body, and all that it is telling us, in order to strive for recognition. Our body is our marker of truth and is well worth listening to!

190. I remember going for long runs and pushing my body only to feel completely wiped out in the following days. I am sure if I had listened to my body it would have heard it scream stop, but I was in my mind and never heard the warning.

191. Jane this really exposes the danger of competition and how we can convince ourselves this is healthy, but the fact is, competition comes from the mind and from comparison, whereas your whole body here at several times was asking you to stop. Why? Because competition is not natural. It is the very thing that separates us in a world that is riddled with divide. Your blog points this out in one example that can be very inspiring to look at the areas of our lives where we are trying to get ahead or be the best, and really consider – is this was our body is saying, or just our heads?

192. Competition is a killer as it makes us override the messages our bodies are clearly communicating that we are delicate beings and must treat our bodies accordingly. This is such a great sharing that most will relate to in what is to build a healthy relationship with our bodies and the way that exercise can truly support our bodies. Thank you.

193. ‘I have learned that exercise is about connection first and if I exercise in connection to myself, not only does it feel amazing, that same quality of connection remains with me long after I finish my exercise. It is what I take into the rest of my day.’ This here is why we choose to exercise. Not for the look and the competition but to feel the body and understand that the way we move effects every part of our lives.

194. I can relate to doing things for the purpose of gaining recognition, self worth etc. – totally at the expense of the body. And the recount of entering a race 8 days after giving birth made me recall my own experiences after childbirth… For me it wasn’t to get back into exercise, but back into my daily activities… I remember the day after giving birth to my second child, sitting in a bath trying to reconcile my end of month accounts and in the days/weeks following it was about ensuring the house stayed in order (vacuuming, cleaning, washing, cooking etc). While everthing in my body was calling out for rest and time to connect with my baby, I overrode this in order to feel I could be a super woman and not be what I felt was otherwise slack in not keeping up with my business & household activities. Whether it’s exercise or another activity, I’m learning the key is to honour and listen to my body and that its messages are extremely wise as long as I listen. I’ve been supported in this by developing a true sense of worth which is around who I am, not what I do….

195. Beautiful to read Jane, these words say it all. ” What I really needed to do was to stop and connect to the real me – who I was inside – with no need for validation through achievement or recognition, just simply feeling the loveliness of me.” this is simply enough, feeling the love of who we are.

196. Wow Jane! To over ride your natural strong maternal as a new mum of 8 days, to run and compete is very big mind over matter in force.

197. I remember the anxiousness on the start line in races, that desire to do well and outdo others. I could never see or appreciate anyone else or even myself as
     I was so wrapped up in gaining recognition for what I was about to do. I craved to be seen and accepted as a good athlete. And it is from this basis that I see the great harm in competing. I see so many people who don’t look happy doing sport, that it comes from a place where it isn’t a pleasure but a punishment, a desire to be given praise for something they do. For me, getting praise for doing well only led me to need more of the same as it wasn’t a recognition that I am actually enough as who I am, something I now appreciate and why I no longer compete or feel any need to.

198. The key to life is to act when you get the messages. It’s amazing what we over-ride, what we refuse to see, what we deny. This story is littered with examples, as is my own life. Over and over. But this story also contains proof of the miracles that happen once you do make a change and connect to what your body is telling you (the body re-defines the limits of patience!) Thank you to Serge Benhayon – “The body is the marker of truth”

199. As I read your blog Jane I cannot but realise that back in your competitive running days running for you was like getting a fix – just like the fix you get from any drug.

200. Wow what a story of exercise and the body Jane – to think you went running just 8 days after your son was born is pretty crazy! It is quiet an eye opener what our bodies can do, but as you say, this either comes from the bodies true response, or the mind pushing our bodies. I really love how when you felt different in your run, and to no longer compete, how you stopped and listened. So many of us push through, but to stop and listen is very supportive. our bodies know what is needed, and it seems as though you have found this within yourself.

201. There is a link between the running and over working that I have noticed kept me in a total spin of exhaustion. One big work project after another. Once that finished I had another two lined up so that there was never a moment to stop and register what was really going on. Now the realisation has come with understanding that its the quality of me that comes with the work and hence the work I do now is not delivered with meeting deadlines and working myself into the ground but a passion to bring everything to the projects at a pace that is respectful to my body and with a call for others to support where possible.

202. Exercising in connection means you no longer feel compelled to step outside of yourself for external validation or recognition through competing with another. Instead you remain connected to yourself, aware of how your body is feeling, what it needs and doesn’t need and going at a pace and level that nurtures it gently towards true vitality rather than lunging headlong into a poor substitute.

203. For about 10 years I also ran prolifically, at least 5km a day, and often 10, and long races as well. I was never competitive, but there was an aspect to running that told me, if you don’t run, you won’t be good enough. Running brought me a way to feel good about myself that seemed very real, but in fact with hindsight and the understanding of true self-care brought by Universal Medicine, I have learned an important fact. Anything I do to feel good about myself is avoiding the truth that I am already amazing. There is nothing that need be “done” to get to being amazing, there is only a way of life that confirms and appreciates that I am already amazing.

204. Competition serves no-one. If we all felt good about ourselves we wouldn’t want to win races or beat other people. How great that you eventually listened to your body and found gentle exercise instead – and enjoying that ‘ in connection’.

205. Pingback: Seeking Connection in Techno Parties – The Truth about Serge Benhayon

206. To exercise from competition our bodies cannot help but harden as we are overriding our natural tenderness.

207. Jane, I can see where you are coming from as I used to run too. How many things do we do day to day to avoid feeling our tenderness? I love your line, “My enjoyment of exercising in connection far outweighs any of the buzz I got when I used to compete.” this sums it up for me, choosing connection.

208. Thank You Jane, what you have shared is the same for me.I used to run for years to keep fit for rugby and was very fit from a background of swimming and all of it was done for recognition and acceptance. Now I am aware this all stemmed from my lack of self worth. As a boy growing up it was all about go as hard as you can and we did, I just overrode everything, throwing up from pushing too hard, doing sprints always looking for a faster time for the same distance. What I put my body through was horrific. Then with great joy I met Serge Benhayon and learnt to connect to my body where I have now turned that all around, healed all those aches, pains and would never dream to put so much hardness onto my body again.

209. I ran for years, and I thought it was connecting me to my body and I was doing something I loved. But the truth was I did not love the running, nor was it truly connecting me to my body. What I did love was the feeling of adrenaline and lactic acid burning in my legs, and that helped to numb the tension I felt the rest of that time. So, from that point of view, I did love it. But the truth was it was not love at all.

210. seeking recognition from outside is such a battle, while there is so much beauty inside of us to appreciate. It is beautiful to not need to compete anymore, not need to be more than who we are, this is great to reconnect to, to who we truly are. As that is what always will be there, competion will only bring a couple of highs, but never the sustained feeling of love that our inner heart brings.

211. I enjoyed reading your sharing about sport. It is so true, what you are expressing. In my past it was the same. I didn’t listen to my body at all. When I wanted to do sport, then I did exercises totally separated to my body. My body had to do what I commanded the body to do. I asked my body to function no matter what my body was saying. I’m so glad, that these days are over. Today my body tells me how much it wants to exercise or at all.

212. This blog is amazing in how it shows the true potential of any one when they choose to let go of competition and how it can stop the quality of life we can all live.

213. Jane, I have never been into exercise in the way that you have described but I sure know what it is like to push through things in a way that is not supportive for my body. For years I had this yo-yo thing happening where I would push my body to the limit with work and then collapse in a heap afterwards from exhaustion. What I have come to learn is to honour my body in a way that is truly supportive for it.

214. I have been doing an online exercise program where it is about connection first. The program is a range of classes such as core, balance, strength, stretch – and I am enjoying how much my body is loving the way I am exercising. My movements used to be fast, unbalanced and hard. It was always about how many reps and how much burn. But the burn came from doing the exercises in positions that would strain my body. I’ve come a long way from that. Today my exercises are slower, controlled, in rhythm. I am loving exercise and look forward to it – a total turn around from what I once new.

215. “What I really needed to do was to stop and connect to the real me – who I was inside – with no need for validation through achievement or recognition, just simply feeling the loveliness of me.” Having known this as a theory, as an intellectual truth, for many years it is, however, only very recently am I beginning to truly ‘know’ this by embodying it in my body And as it is known as an idea so it is now a lived truth that is beautiful.

216. This blog really shows how connection is everything. If we are connected with ourselves we do not have the emptiness that makes us want to do things that go against our bodies.

217. I was also into lots of ‘doings’ to gain validation, recognition and self-worth, and reading your sharing it makes sense to me that how that seeking contributed for me to view others as my competitors whatever I did because I had to be better than or do more than them to prove myself, and the others were technically on my way. That was a very lonely place to be. In doingness, we are all indivualised and it is hard if not impossible to appreciate our intereonnectedness and Brotherhood for what it is.

218. Jane this is an awesome blog and very relatable to my own life. I was never good at competitive sports and it didn’t really interest me, but I spent about 10 years of my life doing a very physical form of yoga. I pushed my body to the limits and was very competitive in the yoga class with other students and I enjoyed the recognition I received from this. I too had a complete turnaround when I discovered the illusion I had been living and that all my yoga practice had never got me anywhere, I still felt the emptiness and craved a deeper connection to myself. Thankfully Universal Medicine inspired and supported me to develop this connection with my true self and the need I had for seeking for outside validation faded pretty quickly and my life began to change in many beautiful ways.

219. competition of any sort feels to be the antithesis of what we are truly about within humanity… it feels like competition is designed to, from such an early age, specifically take us away from the joy of movement, the spontaneity of creativity, the love of expression, wherever and whenever we can express in any way, competition will be there to squash contract constricts and burden us… Great to be exposing it again and again until we as a race just give it up.

220. I love this blog Jane, thank you for sharing it. It is amazing the things we will do and lengths we push ourselves to chasing validation, self-worth and recognition from somewhere outside of us. Thank goodness to Serge Benhayon for helping me to truly learn to love who I am and fill myself up from the inside, this way I have much more love to share with everyone else.

221. When I was a child I remember the hardness that was coming to my body only by thinking to run in a race, the gap feeling by competing with my friends and the absurdity of doing so by looking for a momentary prize. Now I understand why this wasn’t interesting for me, and I now appreciate myself by not having participated in such competitions anymore. The body is to be listened to and honoured. If there is any activity which makes me feel hurt in any way, it simply doesn’t worth.

222. ‘My enjoyment of exercising in connection far outweighs any of the buzz I got when I used to compete.’ This just shows how competition can only satisfy us so much, but in returning to our body and feeling the love we are and holding ourselves in appreciation, the thought of competing flies out the window.

223. I was thinking about the topic of being competitive yesterday as I was chatting to two children of 9 and 6 about school. They were only talking about the games they played together and how each child is trying to out do the other one. I then thought back to my childhood and remembered how from the word go we were encouraged to compete against each other by getting the best marks at school, or by doing something special or different to everyone else. I also reflected that a big driving force behind all of this is the recognition we start seeking at a vey early age. We compete to be recognised by others. Whilst spending some time with these children i saw that they were constantly competing against each other for recognition from their family. So why do we do this at such an early age? Essentially what is missing from our education is the knowing that we all knowing and in essence we have everything we need, and more. Also that we are all equal and here to live in brotherhood, as opposed to seeking confirmation of our individuality.

224. Striving for validation, self-worth and recognition are indeed subtle if we don’t choose to be aware. But thankfully we have a body that is non stop aware of even the smallest bits of this outward striving. What I am really noticing at the moment is that EVERYTHING can be in the striving – competitions are just an extreme version. If I am not aware of the warmth and power within me then I am doing everything for recognition and the body shakes from this. Likewise I am learning that I can do many things without needing them to validate me as a being.

225. Thank you Jane for a very honest sharing, this is what true exercise is all about “What I really needed to do was to stop and connect to the real me – who I was inside – with no need for validation through achievement or recognition, just simply feeling the loveliness of me.” when exercising, beautiful.

226. That is very true Brendan, I know a few people who know the way they exercise is not good for their bodies but they do it anyway as it provides a quick fix to the issues they are not ready to deal with.

227. It’s very telling indeed that so many people exercise and don’t enjoy it. I have spoken to many to people who go to the gym who say things like ‘I feel good that i’ve done it’ or ‘it’s good to get it done’ or ”I love the feeling when I’ve finished’. This begs the question ‘how, then do you feel whilst you’re exercising?’ and ‘why do we not challenge our attitude to exercise?’ plus of course ‘why do we do things that we don’t enjoy and assume that this is the way things are?’.

     1. These are great questions in relation to exercise and to how we live our lives Alexis. I have recently begun to attend the gym again after a period away. I had become aware that was exercising to achieve something previously and pushing myself in my exercise. In returning to the gym I have decreased what I do dramatically and focus on the enjoyment of each exercise that I do. If something does not feel right I stop and feel why.

228. ‘I have learned that exercise is about connection first and if I exercise in connection to myself, not only does it feel amazing, that same quality of connection remains with me long after I finish my exercise. It is what I take into the rest of my day.’
     Thank you Jane for this pearl of wisdom. It is the connection and love that we bring that truly lights up our day.

229. What you share here is precious, you began to honour what your body was sharing with you. This is something simple, supportive and deeply insightful which is so often not shared as we grow up, in school and in the public arena. Body awareness can change the quality of our lives.

230. I have never exercised excessively but I know many people that have. When I ask them what they get out of pushing themselves that hard, the responses have indicated that they chase the endorphins that are produced while they are racing, they openly talk about it being an addiction. I love the honesty that people have when they are questioned without judgments but instead curiosity. I may not have done it with exercise but I still relate, as I have known addition and in the past needed a drink at the end of day in order for it to feel complete.

     1. When I was in high school I got what they call “runners high”. My whole day became about looking forward to the buzz of my afternoon run. It was an adrenaline rush, and a numbness like no other. It was my drug, and I defended it because it was a “natural” high.

        1. Funny you say that Adam, I defended my choice of numbing out in High School, what I got my buzz from because it was a “natural” high too, its called marijuana.

        2. Wow! that word ‘natural’ has been bastardised by us all. I had ‘natural’ child births i.e. submitted myself to untold, unnecessary agony.

        3. So true Lyndy Summerhaze, ‘natural’ is not always as good as it might sound.

        4. Oh yeah, the old “because its natural” argument. Amazing what defences we use to defend our actions in life. Not only did I defend my running as being natural, but also as something that kept me fit, and therefore healthy, when in truth it was draining me and doing irreparable damage to my body. Now there are those I know who will say the damage done is minor compared to the glory from such achievements, but I am not so sure about that. Now, 8 years into retirement from a 20 year amateur hockey career, I never pause to think about the representative achievements and trophies, but every day I am reminded that I have 3 false teeth, sore knees, and a bent collar bone that will never recover.

        5. Thank you Adam for displaying before us what are actually the real trophies of playing hockey or any other competitive sport – the ‘3 false teeth, sore knees, and a bent collar bone that will never recover.’ Week after week on the news footballers are unable to play in the coming match because they have either temporarily injured themselves or injured themselves for life. One such case, a lovely young man with wife and child is now paralysed,in a wheelchair for life and he was wheeled on before the ABC cameras with a message to cheer on all the young men to carry on playing! It is amazing how blind every last one of us can choose to be that we don’t see the irony of this. I know we all have our blind spots.

        6. Great point Adam, we do defend the natural ‘high’ we get from running, even when our body is talking very loudly.

231. Hi Jane , a great read and something we have all experienced in some way or another the pushing a driving our bodies through work or competitive sport. It feels so different when we stop and really feel our bodies and where we are at then suddenly it makes no sense .
     Learning to love ,appreciate and accept our selves makes such a big difference , and realising the world is in such a big illusion in regards to no pain no gain and people striving for recognition and acceptance through sporting pursuits etc.

232. Wow Jane what a huge change you have made by choosing to listen and feel your body. I I found it very interesting that when I was reading about all your “conquests” my body was starting to feel quite anxious ! Thank you for sharing because it helps me to understand more about why people are so competitive in sports.

     1. Hi jaderiver56, yes indeed, I was driven by huge anxiousness at the time – it felt like a drug at the beginning of each race followed by a huge relief at the end, which I interpreted as elation!

233. I played competitive team sports right into my mid 20’s and used running and a personal trainer to maintain my fitness for years after. I too loved being competitive, loved the thrill it gave me. Exercise being a support for my body and my life and nothing more was a big change for me and one that took time and a dedication to being consistent. Once it became natural for me I was able to truly feel how my body responded and felt doing only what is needed for the life that I need now. I have recently had to readjust my exercise and go gentler again. While I had to adjust again it has been so much easier to let go of the old ways (which were once the new ways!) and listen to what is truly supportive for my body and health right now.

234. Jane, this is beautiful to read, how you have been able to re-connect to your body, choose to finally listen to it, and not let the head and the need for recognition and acceptance, the need to be ‘better’, run the show anymore! This is really huge; just like being a couch potato and not doing anything at all, competitive running is just as disregarding of what the body truly needs. Gentle exercise, done lovingly, is where it’s truly at, and it’s what the body truly needs and gentle exercise is what truly supports the body to house the real us, the tender, loving, caring and unified beings we actually all are.

     1. Great point Esther, the disregard to ourselves is the same whether we are running marathons or being couch potatoes. The only difference is one is encouraged and celebrated and the other is judged by others.

235. It may feel like it is absurd to keep going even against the odds. Yet, the feeling of having completed something, particularly if it is ourselves in relation with something or someone is amazing. There is no coming back to it. Only going forward.

236. On my walks with my family, we have a little game where we try to find the runner with a smile on their face. We haven’t struck one yet. However, those people we pass who are walking we continue to be greeted with a cordial smile and salutation. This says heaps about what happens to our connection with ourselves and each other.

     1. Love the game of finding the smile on a runners face. I see that at my gym, very few smiles, actually none. It is as if the way exercise is done takes us further away from ourselves, it becomes a place to disconnect further.

        1. I agree Mathew, it is something I find interesting at my gym where it is very rare to connect to another as you said people seem to disconnect even further from their bodies.

237. Amazing Jane to read this. What I feel is it clearly shows the harm that happens to ourselves and the world when we do not feel good enough. Your relationship to a competitor feels harmful to yourself and them in order for you to override your feelings of not feeling good enough. Multiply that by a few billion people and you have a world of people harming each other. But when you connect to yourself without needing any validation, you and the whole world receives a blessing. Multiply that by a few billion people and you have a world living in harmony.

238. ​
     Wow Jane, it makes sense what you are saying “I have learned that exercise is about connection first and if I exercise in connection to myself, not only does it feel amazing, that same quality of connection remains with me long after I finish my exercise”. My life too now is about connection. In the past it was about remaining as far as disconnected as I could manage through sport, entertainment, food and drugs etc. Since attending my first Universal Medicine event and experiencing the feeling of connecting to my essennce and my body, my committment to life has done a complete turnaround. Remaining connected is everything to me. My life finally has purpose, and I have work to do – to stay connected for as long as possible and live from this space. It is a long way from the long list of things I use to do. I tried many things and always achieved very well especially in sports. Now I give it all to how I can remain connected, and stay with me.

     1. ‘My life finally has purpose, and I have work to do – to stay connected for as long as possible and live from this space.’ I love this, Rik – I too have realised that connection is everything and everything flows from there when I let go of the push and the trying.

     2. Wow Rik, this is gorgeous and something that should be taught to children from birth ‘Remaining connected is everything to me. My life finally has purpose, and I have work to do – to stay connected for as long as possible and live from this space. It is a long way from the long list of things I use to do. I tried many things and always achieved very well especially in sports. Now I give it all to how I can remain connected, and stay with me.’

     3. I love this Rik, ‘My life finally has purpose, and I have work to do – to stay connected for as long as possible and live from this space.’ I agree connection is so vital, I too am choosing to stay connected at all times, a work in progress, and this feels so much more gorgeous.

239. A great blog Jane, I used to run regularly along with lots of other forms of exercise, and as well as it being tough on my body, I also found it quite addictive. My body eventually spoke louder and louder in the form of shin splints which would not go away and so I had to reluctantly at the time, stop running and doing any other form of high impact activity. Now, I agree exercise is about connection first and as a support for my body.

     1. Hi Lorraine, your comment just reminded me of the conversations at the gym we used to have before we went out on a club run. They usually involved talk of the various injuries people had and how quickly they hoped to recover. There was never the deeper question asked ‘what is my body telling me right now?’

240. It feels like your body was clearly showing you that competitive running wasn’t it and that you couldn’t ever get from the outside world what you hadn’t been willing to give to yourself.

241. Jane I so relate to this blog. It’s great to be aware of any areas in my life where I feel competitive. I know I have always been very, very competitive, but quietly so, because I know how horrible it feels and how that energy of competition puts a further wedge between my connecting with another – the first wedge is me choosing to look to the outside world to say I’m OK, and me not connecting to my true self and appreciating me.
     The people you passed along your way when running competitively and seeing this as a way to say you were better and were OK is what I do in so many instances still! It may be not making a mistake another has made and thinking, ‘thank God I didn’t make that mistake, I’d be mortified’ or, choosing the supermarket queue or traffic jam queue that does end up being the fastest.

     These wouldn’t have been obvious choices of competition but I’m feeling how I constantly compare myself to others and, crazily, to ideals I’ve created to see how well I am doing in my day – rather than living it knowing I am amazing and simply being open to learning from what’s reflected there for me to see. This comparison thing is such a prison I can put myself in. And the doors are always open for me to walk out by connecting with my inner heart and God.

     1. Hi Karin, I love your honesty here and can certainly relate to all you have shared.

242. Jane re-reading the title of the blog you’ve written and you could easily replace “competitive running” with just about everything else we get caught up into doing. The key part is the “connection with me” if we started life with that there would be no need for the turn arounds we’ve all had to make and the place that the majority of humanity find themselves in.

     1. So true David. Replace ‘competitive running’ with any action to be quite honest as the majority of people in the world operate from the need for recognition and validation to fill the emptiness of not feeling good enough. How important is it then to become aware of these attitudes we live with towards ourselves and to heal and reconnect to the fact we wake up in the morning already glorious, and our actions in our day simply confirm that.

243. Competiton and comparison are destroyers of love. That is why many people in our world are suffering and ill.

244. Listening to our body will allow us to see what we are truly up to. It is for us to choose if we do listen or not, but our body will never lie.

245. Competing has become so normal that we constantly override what we are feeling. Our body is constantly giving us the most supportive Feedback, why do we refuse to listen?

     1. Great question Michael, why do we refuse to listen? I did not listen because I was still resisting taking responsibility for my life, thus I still wanted my comfort….! And there were no role models around to reflect another way – until I met Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and began attending courses that greatly supported me to how small I had made my world by staying in comfort.

     2. Great question Michael, is it maybe because we need the recognition and the feeling of being better than another? even if our bodies pay for it at a later date.

246. Competitive sport in our society is huge and highly promoted so to see through the harm it was causing you Jane is a very huge thing. People tell me everyday the enormous hoops they put their body through to stay fit and in the same breath tell me how sore they are, how many injuries they have caused themselves and how many visits they need to have with their osteopath, chiropractor etc to “maintain” what they are doing. Something simply does not add up here.

     1. Incredible Elizabeth – confirming the depth of disconnection people have with their bodies. But no judgement in this whatsoever; just a joy to know there is another way to be with ourselves and articles like this one and listening to Serge Benhayon’s presentations present the opportunity to change a world from harming ourselves and each other to healing and living in harmony, simply by listening and connecting to our bodies.

     2. A great insight from your experience working in the health services Elizabeth Dolan….it is amazing how stubborn we human beings can be when we are dis-connected to ourselves and our bodies, pushing on even if all the signs are clearly saying: “No, this doesn’t serve me and my body.”

     3. Thats right Elizabeth if you are always getting injured how can it be good for you

247. Lots of people push their bodies so hard because of the ‘tough’ culture that this is the ‘done’ thing. I would’ve thought that after running a marathon, people would be delighted to have a rest, but the push is on again immediately for the next one with a better faster time. This behaviour is not in the name of health, it’s all about driven comparison against themselves and others. Well done Jane for seeing this was not good for you.

248. Hi Jane, I found this article totally awesome. I know heaps of passionate runners that would benefit from reading about your experience. I love the way your body actually told you enough was enough. I was never a runner and it is hard for me to understand how you physically did what you did…but I was a a big party girl and pushed my body by taking heaps of drugs and not sleeping for 3 days in a row, so I suppose we all have a different ways of pushing ourselves. Some look better some look worse but your article reveals that “what may look good” does not always feel good. I think it is amazing that you broke through what you did as it can be more difficult when your peers and society all think what you are doing is “healthy”.

     1. Great point Sarah about how we push ourselves – being driven is being driven, whatever the direction! And ultimately it is our bodies that are able to point us in the right direction if we heed the messages.

        1. Yes Helen, to trust the wisdom of our bodies over the knowledge we hold in the mind is one of our greatest challenges.

     2. I agree Sarahraybaldwin, this article is super awesome for what it exposes and for the sheer honesty that Jane shares. And yes to break through the consciousness is amazing especially when society sees running competitively is ” healthy”. I just love this blog Jane.

     3. Spot on Sarah – what Jane did is amazing as she stood out from her peers and didn’t conform to what the norm’ is. Being able to question the norm’ is so very important because there are so many crazy and harming norm’s in society today. Making different choices like Jane has is always a time for celebration.

        1. I totally agree ginadunlop, for Jane to allow herself to recognise that this running is not serving her, is huge, especially as running is hailed as being ‘healthy’ and ‘a good thing to do.’ How many people carry injuries and need to see many bodyworkers to be able to keep going, to keep punishing the body like this, but will never be able to admit, or let themselves feel what the running is really doing to their bodies…. as everybody is cheering them on, saying good on you. So they keep going until the body itself puts a stop to it.

        2. Often these things within the “norm” appear great from the outside. An example of this is races for charity. A friend of mine went in a cycle race for cancer, he explained how his body would be so depleted after the race that he might vomit and struggle moving for a couple of days. I couldn’t help but think, all this in the name of “health”?? When I told my friend that I thought it was crazy he couldn’t help but agree, he did the race anyway but he was refreshed to have a convo that was not championing his choice to race but rather questioning it and being worried about his body and health during and after such a long race.

        3. There is great power in the awareness you have shared with your friend. The rest is a simple choice – but the truth has been presented and is now known for a lifetime to ponder and live with.

        4. The truth is known by all equally,
           I simply ask lots of questions, these questions are designed to remind people that they already have the answers.
           My friend will still race but he is more honest about why now.

        5. What you offer is true love.

     4. Yes its true Sarah we all have different ways of pushing ourselves, with the same disastrous results…..until our bodies can no longer take the stress and abuse and we have to stop and listen!

        1. Thats right Roesmary, that is why we can should never judge another, as usually we can relate in one way or another to what that push feels like. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could stop and listen a little earlier before our bodies have a tantrum from stress!! Oh well, will get there.

249. I have never been interested in competitive sport and never have I read the sports pages. But I know that there are other ways that I competed and it was a way of validating my worth, which was always a struggle.

250. Wow – those running feats are impressive (especially to one like me who can only run a short distance and then only if I have to)! But what is most impressive is the way you have described in full detail what was really going on and the driving force that made them possible. It is truly inspiring to read your story, thank you.

     1. Hi Helen, when I was young I was able to run and pretty fast but now I, like you, only run short distance when I have to. My son wanted to race me on the beach yesterday and I thought that it would be a bit of fun, I could only run for a few seconds before I just couldn’t go on. When I was a kid I seemed to naturally be able to run but as I got older it became hard, even for a few seconds. My son was laughing as he kept winning over and over and asking me to try but I kept telling him that this is me trying!!

        1. Haha – kids are light on their feet and with their flexible bodies they leave us in the dust (or sand), unless we work at it. I often watch adults running on the beach and see the jarring on their bodies. When I see kids running its quite different, more fluid and nowhere near as jarring. I guess its in part the mindset behind it.

        2. When I see most kids run they are laughing and in the total joy of it, especially when they are very young and they are choosing to do it for fun not for school or for completion.
           I find a little painful watching some adults run, as I can almost read the look on their faces, the drive and determination, the push to override the urge to just stop and collapse. This pushing through is then championed as being fit and is considered “good” for you. I found when I pushed myself physically like that with a personal trainer, it encouraged me to push through things in my personal life and at work too. It became the way I dealt with issues, close my eyes tight, harden my body and soon it will be over, it was not a fun experience. I love exercise but if the exercise you are choosing really hurts your body it begs the question of how much good it can actually be doing you?

        3. Hi Sarah and Helen, just to add about children. It is because their bodies are so light but the moment that changes and their bodies become denser which usually happens around 13 they also struggle with things they once felt were easy and fun to do. I know that was about the time my granddaughter gave up dancing and it was because she no longer found it fun and the impact it was having on her body then became very obvious.

251. I can relate to the buzz of competing, but then again, when one feels lost and without, anything is a buzz really. I look back on my days of sport and there were never enough victories to satisfy me. I was always hooked looking for more, never content with what I had.

     1. Ironically Adam, thats what keeps you there, thinking that the next win will be the thing that finally takes away that lost feeling. I had the same thing with parting, every party was the same, no matter how many “great nights” out I had it was not filling me up or making me feel whole. I would convince myself that the next party was where I would meet Prince Charming, my entire life would change, with a networking opportunity for me to land the job I always wanted, not surprisingly the parties never delivered.

252. I agree Brendan – running to relieve stress is like literally trying to run away from your problems

     1. I agree Rebecca, and it’s the same with the really heavy weights many men feel they need to lift at the gym. Running is more often then not running away from our problems, and heavy weight lifting is perfect for burying any issues that might surface to be addressed and looked at. Along with not feeling the issues or problems anymore, running and heavy weight training suppresses our natural sensitivity, and with that it’s near impossible to let other people in. Competition is the game, and it’s a game that keeps us apart, keeps us away from feeling our connection with ourselves and each other, and in truth, nobody wins; it just perpetuates the emptiness, needing the next competition and the next, to get that external recognition and acceptance.

        1. I agree – competition causes frustration, letting down and separation between people – it is especially easy to see in children playing, before and after learning what competition is.

     2. This is a great point. The more we run the further from the truth we are.

253. Lovely blog, Jane. I too used to be very competitive and allowed these feelings to stress my body with excessive emotional reactions, both when competing and when watching competitive sport. Since I heard Serge Benhayon talking on the truth of this matter I have changed greatly and am still working on this. Serge made me aware of how competitive success brings happiness and worldly rewards to the few but that the majority suffer the negative effects of losing. Because of their placing in the results of their competitions, many consistently feel that they are ‘not good enough’ This can become a destructive and depressing state of mind. Also, for every person who has a win there are many who are convinced that they are failure. Not listening to the body and over-riding the messages it is giving us to stop or ease off what we are doing, causes much harm.

254. Wow, having known you since coming to the work, I couldn’t believe you had been a competitive runner – you are so completely different and its lovely to see you less hard and more caring of yourself.

255. Great point Brendan – we can use things like exercise to dull down emotional turmoil but if we don’t seek to heal the reason why it is there in the first place then it just gets buried deeper in us to reappear in some other way.

256. Jane that was a great reading for me because I was once also competitive. I was a sales person and every month we could see who was the leading one and got with that all the recognition from everyone. For me it always was stress as I was the only woman and I want to be the leading one to show the men that I can sell as much as they can. As you so beautifully describe, to be competitive is not a nice feeling and in the end I got very ill and so I stopped to be a sales person after 8 years. Since that time I was never competitive again and if I was about to fall back in the old behavior I stop it. Thank you for showing the world that being competitive is not all and that there is so much more inside of us to re-discover and to love.

257. I love the way you turned your life around Jane and now feel your own loveliness. A blessing that you’ve discovered exercise that is fun, playful and gentle.

258. If ever there was an article on the futility of competitve running, this is it.

259. Wonderful the way you exposed competing as a way to receive validation, recognition and appreciation. Those feelings wear out and it will never be enough. Always busy receiving the next fix. When we do not connect with ourselves we will be doing this as a student, as a professional, as a friend and in relationships. To keep feeling fulfilled, loved and and appreciated we will keep trying to excel in everything we do. Self love and self appreciation is the only way to reach a constant feeling of harmony and appreciation. 

     1. Thats true ijakleintjes to be competitive means we were always busy to receive the new fix. To be in such a “stress” did not leave space for feeling who we truly are. Instead we are trying “to keep feeling fulfilled, loved and appreciated and so we will keep trying to excel in everything we do.” Therefore self love and self appreciation should be a part of our everyday lessons at school or in the kindergarten as you describe it so beautifully this “is the only way to reach a constant feeling of harmony and appreciation.”

        1. Yes I agree, esteraltmiks, if self love and care were introduced to our children at a young age, the need for competition would diminish as we would all see that we are not separate and how we are with ourselves is how we are with others.

260. Yes super true Marika. We all base our self worth from what we can achieve and do. Rather then how gorgeous and amazing we are right from the get go. Be that as we wake up each new day or when we are born.

261. Thank you Jane. This was fascinating and awesome to read. It was really cool how one time your body was speaking super loudly and so you could not ignore or override what was being said. It’s amazing how much we try to fight and not listen to what is going on with us.

     1. It is in these moments where we feel what our body is calling for that we are given the opportunity to honour what we feel or override it. We build a steady confidence and acceptance of ourselves when we choose to honour what we feel.

        1. Yes Abby and theses moments continue to present themselves through out your whole life, they just become more subtle as time goes on.

        2. Hi Abby, I love how you just gave us an important clue about how to build a steady confidence and acceptance of our self. Something most long for. And it is as simple as honouring the call of our bodies without overriding it. Thank you. And thank you Sarah for expanding on this.

        3. It is such a lovely sense to really honour our bodies in these subtle moments and the body gives so much in return. It’s like reaping huge dividends for not an enormous investment, just a willingness to sense and let go of any outward movement for a moment or two. And what we can build from this is priceless.

        4. I just love your gorgeous fiscal analogy Josephine! – ‘dividends, investment, priceless, return’. How true! If we will invest just small amounts in honouring and occupying our divine bodies, the richness of our life cannot be described in words, but in what we carry to share with all.

     2. True Emily and it is amazing how loud the body is speaking all the time …. if we choose to listen.

262. When we put as much effort into re-connecting, self caring and responsibility, something quite incredible occurs. So much of our energy is misdirected and focused in a direction that is self serving, seeking outside recognition or achievement. Turn this around and watch your vitality skyrocket.

     1. True Matthew – when we consider how much energy we put into being competitive, being individual or getting ahead, its a real wake up call to consider what the difference would be if we focused our energy on the fact that there can be no competition because we are all equal and therefore by taking care of our bodies first, we are confirming this fact. I can say that my vitality levels have increased the more I let go of wanting to be something, the more I let go of focusing on the end result and the more I embrace self love.

        1. When I look back now at the sport I played when I was young I can really feel how that competition against others felt so alien, but I would push past that for the sake of recognition.

     2. A beautiful self-fulfilling and ever-deepening rhythm develops when we start connecting within first and stop grabbing for any morsel of recognition that might otherwise come our way.

        1. By caring for our bodies, we send a strong message to ourselves that all of us is worth caring for and about.

     3. It takes a lot of energy to be something we are not and to do things that are harming to our bodies – so it’s no wonder that as much as we herald these activities and are often identified by them – they are exhausting! As you say Matthew, when we turn this around, we can feel our vitality rocket and our stress and exhaustion levels plummet!

        1. It’s true Angela – I used to exercise madly thinking it was all about becoming fitter but I became more and more exhausted as time went on and went down with a virus every 8 weeks on average. Vitality comes from listening to the body and letting it be the guide as to what it needs.

     4. Great point Matthew about turning this around by re-directing our effort into self caring and reconnecting with ourselves.. when we start to do this our self worth increases too, as well as the vitality.

263. Exercise for me was always about an outcome, a result, or what could I achieve from it. There was nothing about connecting with myself involved. Then I came across Universal Medicine and learned through workshops, presentations, books and healing sessions about the beauty I could experience in conscious presence. So now my exercise is about being very conscious in connecting with my body – my mind being with my body and feeling the quality of how I move or even when I’m still. Where exercise was once effort it has become a joy and fun to be in the presence of my body, whether that be a walk, stretches, weights, a bicycle ride, gardening, dancing.

     1. For me exercise was about having a sense of being part of a group. I was always into team sports and at the time I thought this was it, that playing sport then partying, going on trips and drinking with this group was everything. However I can now reflect that it never really offered a true connection and there was much happening that we never really supported each other with or discussed. Many used this sports team as a way to avoid and distract themselves from what was happening in life and we all colluded together in this in the idea of ‘just having fun or keeping it light’ but this never really asked anyone to look at anything or bring more love and connection into their life. I still love working in teams but it has a different focus now, its about real connection and purpose and supporting each other to let go of what doesn’t work for us or others.

        1. Love your sharing here Kristy. Many of us have belonged to such a group that looked like great team work, because we were all longing for Brotherhood and to belong. These groups were a kind of ‘pretend brotherhood’ that did not fully ‘go there’ with love and connection. And until we are willing to address our hurts a group can’t really ‘go there’. This has been such a key given to us by Serge Benhayon. Clear our hurts and be the love that we are. Voila brotherhood.

     2. Yes I found exercise was a huge effort for me too Elizabeth,but now to exercise with presence and feeling how my body wants to move, feels sensational. There is no push now as our bodies love the attention to detail we have in all movements as we are connected to ourselves.

264. Jane, your sharing brings up the question in me, is a connection to one’s tenderness possible whilst exercising in competitve sport activities? My experience is that it always hardens the body so that a feeling to one’s tenderness is difficult because the body is so hard. But as you many people have families and claim to love their partner or children. Is true love possible without being able to be truly tender ?

265. I heard about people in Africa who have a word for “I am because we are and we are because of me” = Ubuntu. Kids were asked from western scientists to have a race, the winner would get some sweets. And they took each other by the hand and did run (and ‘win’) together. And they said: ‘Ubuntu – how could one be happy if all others would be sad’?! I say: very good question. And this is maybe the answer of why we are all so sad under our more or less glamour facade. With every ‘win’ we lose more of our connection.

     1. Love that observation Sandra, that with every perceived win, we are in effect losing our sense of one another. Feels very isolating.

     2. And whoever said there could only be one winner?

        1. ..we win all together or we are lost.

266. Love that line: ” I would see my fellow runners as opponents whom I had to beat and my tactic was to overtake them one by one, seeing each of these as a mini triumph.” So honest. And reflecting, more or less, our all everyday acting. And it is in fact the opposite of our way back home, where we serve each other and will ‘come forward’ together as a whole.

267. When we don’t listen to the inner feelings and messages of the body it certainly does feel like a … “an inner war going on” …. A great blog to re-read Jane, amazing what you share here.

268. Wow that’s super intense… Totally got where your coming from, to turn away from being and holding that competitiveness and returning years after is a killer. I did something similiar and felt bewildered by the mixed emotions I was feeling. The thoughts I were having were strange and foreign.

269. It seems there is no extreme we won´t go to gain whatever we have chosen to give us the desired identification to substitute the lack of love we feel deep inside.

270. When we are identified with our convictions we are absolutely convinced that what we do is good, fun, the right thing, healthy… and our bodies seem to confirm that as we only feel the stimulation, the high, the fitness etc but are totally unaware and dishonest about the clearly unhealthy sensations expressed by our body. When we one day wake up and start to see the whole picture it is quite shocking how ignorant and dishonest we have been as then it is only too obvious what we have done. The extent of how owned we can be by ideals and beliefs, fueled by need and emotion, is enormous, but there is always a chance and a choice to become aware.

     1. True Alex – the pain of feeling what we have done to ourselves is always a challenge, and for most people it is really hard to come out of the denial or stop looking for something on the outside to blame.

271. Wow Jane, what a story! I cannot fathom taking off for a running competition while breastfeeding – what a shock that would have been to your body and to your precious baby. However I’m also amazed how you found your way back to connecting with your body. I love the comment you made … “What I really needed to do was to stop and connect to the real me – who I was inside – with no need for validation through achievement or recognition, just simply feeling the loveliness of me.” The way sport is currently designed totally takes people away from their loveliness, so I hope your message will travel far and wide for many, many others to hear and get a sense of how not to live. Universal Medicine has changed so many lives – I’m in awe of your change.

272. Jane’s incredibly honest sharing here of how she went to race when her son was just 8 days old really highlights for me the extremes we women will go to just to have our self worth validated from the outside. And yet we can all, as Jane shows here, feel and claim our innate worthiness by connecting within…why do we keep missing this??

273. That’s my kind of exercise – light, playful and fun! Good on you for getting to that from very competitive racing, Jane.

274. I was pondering as I read your blog Jane how what you had written could apply to everything. In essence everything that we do comes from one of two energies. It either comes in connection and with love or in separation and with not-love ie division, competition etc. The love energy is always fulfilling and expansive and the not-love seperative energy never satisfies or if it does only for a moment and then it craves for more. It is easy to see this in all the so called celebrities whose lives are in a mess and are never satisfied. It is also easy to see it with food and drugs such as how eating sugar just makes you crave more and never really satisfies. Often it is only when we start to be honest and see how the not-love approach simply does not work that we start to look at another way. You made that choice and became aware by yourself, many people have to have big accidents, diseases or injuries before they will stop and consider.

275. Living in comparison and competing to others not only caps our true potential but also stops us from enjoying and appreciating the beauty around us.

     1. Yes Francisco, comparison an competition really put the lid on things. They draw a line in the sand of limitation, controlling, confining and imprisoning. When all the time we are joyous, expansive beings with the capacity to appreciate the stunning beauty all around us.

276. What a beautiful, powerful and inspiring turnaround – from competition with others, to connection with yourself.

277. I too used to be a runner. I was forced to quit with a hip injury and as soon as it was healed I was straight back to pounding my body on the pavement. I was under the illusion that running was good for me. I had to give it away due to back and leg pain. I always found this hard initially as any time I felt like life was getting a bit curly I could go for a run and feel a strong sense of achievement come back into my life. I often wondered why running was good for us when it did feel so hard on the body. I chose to believe what others said over listening to my own body. It’s great that you chose to listen to your body and to honour how you felt. We humans can override so much and it’s not until we can really feel the harm we are doing to ourselves or an injury to shake us out of our choices that we stop and ask what’s really going on and why are we doing this. It’s inspiring that you can share your blog and honestly call out your reasons for choosing to run.

     1. I can relate to this Tracy. After a pretty major fall (running), I was straight back into it the next day, bandages and all. My drive and desire for recognition and my ‘ideal body’, was stronger than any pain even though my body cried for me to stop, listen and take care.

        1. This describes that drive exactly Kylie. How brilliant that you stopped listened and cared! Near the end of the news every day there is a section on footballers, cricketers and soccer players all injured badly getting back up and going on with the game if they possibly can – this is seen as heroic! The amount of injury from sport is astronomical and often effects the rest of the sportsman’s and sports woman’s life.

        2. I think for me I overrode listening to my body because I had fallen for the belief that running was good for you and I put other people’s opinions ahead of listening to my own body. I also fell for the trap that what I was doing did make me feel good, but feeling good isn’t true, it’s an illusion and one that harms the body. It is so awesome to now know the truth about exercise and to know that all I need to do is in fact to listen to my body and the messages it sends me, nothing else.

278. Thank-you Jane for the openness and honesty in which you share all your learnings and wisdom.. So very exposing of just how far and how much we women have lost touch with and connection with our innate stillness and grace which is our true essence. Thank goodness for Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and Esoteric’s Women Health, for their loving reflection and supporting so many women (myself included) to return, to claim and live who we truly are as women.

279. And what was I doing to my body? After all, it was only 8 days since I had given birth. I read this sentence today and thought how must your new born baby have felt to be so abruptly interrupted while being nourished – the nourishment that a baby needs to develop physically and mentally. This pops up for me because although I did not run a race after giving birth, I so easily remember how I ‘ran’ about all day doing everything I need to get done, thus when it came time to sit down and breastfeed my child I was exhausted and saw it as a moment of rest rather than the precious bonding time that it is. It brings up much sadness for me of how I treated my new born baby and how this would have been felt and received…..and what impact that had. I had little awareness back then, that is true, but I now have the awareness, as I heal my own hurts, and I have healed many, and as I live more love, everyone benefits including my children – we can heal the past by the love we choose to live today.

280. What comes to me when I read this blog, is how we have these beautiful sensitive bodies that we are born with and are given a whole entire life to care for, and yet somewhere somehow we learn to only use it for gaining and achieving goals that are completely selfish in their outcome, which is absolutely in contradiction to the love we originally feel when first born with such a precious gift as our human frame.

281. “Lack of self worth is a global epidemic” thats a huge point Marika, imagine that was a front page headline in the newspapers and the main story in the news, then we could maybe address why this is so. Instead of papering over the cracks as we currently do. If self worth is so low then how have we constructed our societies that allow this to develop so strongly, is it due to the value we place on achievement and being recognised.

     1. Great Stephen! Let’s bring it onto the front page – everywhere:
        “Lack of self worth is a global epidemic – Students of the Livingness started to claim back their self worth and launch the worldwide healing process.”

     2. Love the idea of this as a headline Stephen and Sandra. I feel there is certainly at least an article in this; “Lack of self worth is a global epidemic – Students of the Livingness started to claim back their self worth and launch the worldwide healing process.”.

282. This is really cool! You said you got ‘hooked’, I reckon the physiological things that happen in our body when we run are addictive, I had a similar response to running, I would sit in class restlessly until lunch came when I could go to the track… it was like a compulsion. Thankfully from all I have learnt from Universal Medicine I no longer need to put my body under so much strain, and running long distances seems an unnatural assault on the body.

283. Awesome honesty in what you have shared Jane, and a great example of the lengths we can go to to not feel what we don’t want to feel, Nothing can truly quench the thirst for recognition because because by its nature is there because of the emptiness inside and our own feelings of being less than whole and beautiful in just being who we are. Instead we drive for any form of recognition and identity outside of ourselves no matter what cost to ourselves and to any others.

284. Running and exercise to extremes is glorified in our society. It is seen to be a good thing to push our bodies past the point of pain.When rereading my last sentence it really makes no sense that we as a society would glorify or see any benefit in this, yet we do. This is crazy.

     1. Yes Toni. We as a society reward something which doesn’t make sense at all. The same is valid for other things as well like alcohol. When somebody can drink a lot of alcohol, the society actually admires this. It is really time to show society, that there is another way.

285. I never did extreme sports in my life, but I haven chosen to compete in sports/games, which is the exact same. I will explain how this applies. I had been focussing on playing a match, game or exercise based on how much I could achieve (me, alone), in order to get there , I must make sure I am the only one right? So again, me alone, but now … against someone who is aiming for the same.. It gets interesting. Both loosing focus of eachother, both with our own minds on the one thing we want.. Interesting, but there is more.. If I then look at this behavior and put aside for a minute ‘the game’ and put this behavior in place in the world.. I actually find that this behavior is quiet common, it is actually not only used by or with sport, but actually everywere.. What most shocked me is that I could feel how narrow I have lived, being me, alone, without feeling the others around me and the whole world! This proved to me how evil this narrowness acually is , and how much competition is leading to the exact same. I found out that competition is not innocent it is actually excluding yourself from the whole, for what you want, not discerning or considering the whole.. To me this is real individualism, a form I no longer choose to live, only to let go off. To me I have found my way to include myself in the whole and make sure I never go in that narrowness again. I feel saved, I have saved myself, with the incredible support of Serge Benhayon and Curtis Benhayon, as I would have never been able to change my life without them! Thumbs up BIGTIME!

286. Wow, that is hard to imagine you breast feeding at the start line of a race. But a great example of the shocking disregard that is a common occurrence in our society today. Deeply saddening.
     Looking after our bodies with exercise is important but we need to respect our bodies and ourselves too.

287. I’ve never been big on exercise, running especially turned me off the whole idea of ‘fitness’. But I can certainly relate to doing and pushing myself to achieve out of a need to be recognised. Also the sense of competing against others to get there, like with knowledge, knowing more than someone else and getting things ‘right’. I pushed myself to know and felt extremely let down and hard on myself if I was proven wrong. Even through helping people and fixing their problems out of a need to be recognised as someone who knows more about another then themselves! What this is showing me is that we can actually turn anything upside down and make it about validation when we do not realise our own self worth.

288. Thank you Jane, a great expose of how far we can stray away from what is truly felt in our body, simply for a moment of recognition and a sense of value. – ‘I was constantly looking outside myself for validation. I never felt I was good enough just as I was, so each time I passed a fellow runner I experienced a moment of success, each time I improved on my times, I felt I had achieved something, and each time I crossed the finish line and got my medal, I gained recognition.’ Your great honesty is a much needed reflection for all of us, as the need for recognition is often subtle and comes in countless disguises.

     1. Yes, the need for validation and recognition can be so subtle that we think we are free of it. I still discover ways it can sneakily play out.

289. For you and your friends to see strength in running a race 8 days after giving birth is the extent to which society is blinded by recognition. The olympic medalist simply confirmed you in your thirst for the external validation.

290. We are taught to override our how we feel in sport and exercise. It is what is sold as the road to fitness, pushing through the pain barrier and pushing on. It’s time to redefine what fitness is as it has lost all common sense as the body is pushed to such extremes in the name of being fit.

     1. I see this all the time as a secondary school teacher Matt. Students are pushed to the limits and the ones who can override their feelings the most are rewarded as tough and strong. We humans have become masters of championing what harms us.

        1. Very true Tracy and Matthew. You can almost bank on the more something is applauded in society these days the more harmful it is for you – go figure??!!

        2. That’s right Nicola. So few loving and true acts are being celebrated yet we have people by the millions who will watch a boxing match or wrestling. We really are so wayward when we look at what the masses are doing to distract themselves away from what is really going on in this world. It’s very sad to see.

        3. Excellently spoke Tracy!

        4. Spot on. We champion that which takes us further away from ourselves and attack that which truly brings us closer.
           No Olympian, wrestler or superstar has managed to live in full connection with their Soul – in fact, we see the despair and emptiness of living the opposite. What does that say about the roles we ‘aspire to’ the most in society?

        5. It says heaps Kylie about the roles we most ‘aspire’ to in our society. These idols that are held up as so desirable, as in the role of the Olympian athlete, are wracked by the despair and emptiness of such ‘achievement’. We are taken very far away from ourselves if we emulate and follow them. Love your comment.

        6. I constantly read on social media about celebrities and sports stars who battle with mental health and depression and yet we still fall for this trap that we are less because we haven’t aspired to do what they have done and we champion their actions without once discerning the emptiness that is really being reflected. We really have got it all wrong when everything that takes you away from your essence and connection within is celebrated, made famous and championed and yet everything that is truth, joy, harmony and stillness is considered a cult, a sect, whacko and has caused several years of online cyber bullying. It is any wonder why illness and disease and the clearings from mother nature has to bring us to our knees before we realise there is another way to be.

     2. So true Matt – and what is even more disturbing is that the pushing does not stop there. We come home and push some more and then again with work – all in the name of recognition. Its true that the Spirit has not ONE OUNCE of regard for the body. Listening to our inner voice is key in beginning to make changes… and following through with it confirms us and builds our self worth.

291. ‘I was constantly looking outside myself for validation. I never felt I was good enough just as I was’. How often to we either look outside ourselves for validation, recognition or compare ourselves with another? We are all enough we just need to deeply feel this for ourselves and confirm this.

     1. It would be nice if Physical Education at school celebrated gentle exercise, dropped the competition and taught us how to connect to our body first and then exercise. Imagine the changes humanity would see.

        1. It would make all the difference Tracy and reduce the hardness in which teens grow up with today.

        2. This I would, to see the change would certainly turn heads

     2. I completely agree Vicky – we look outside for what we are not giving or rather confirming in ourselves. Not only are we all enough we are all more awesome and glorious than we can even conceive by the way we currently live in rejection and denial of our Divinity. The joke is who we truly are is always there and has always been there regardless of whether we confirm, accept, recognise or appreciate it!

     3. Yes, the ‘enough’ has to come from within us, for if not, all the recognition and validation in the world will never be enough.

292. While I’ve done a bit of running in my time, it was never competitive (other than competing with myself) and while I personally haven’t had the experience of being in a competitive run 8 days after birth, I certainly can relate to putting my body in disregard! In relation to birth, for me it was sitting in the bath 1 day after giving birth marking off my monthly statements for the business I was involved in at the time… I remember feeling stressed at the time having to do this (or at least ‘thinking’ I had to do this!) and the pressure I put on myself to perform and ‘keep up’, and totally over-riding the fact that I should be resting… It seems so obvious to me now, and really when I think back, at the time I could feel it wasn’t right, but simply didn’t know another way…

     1. Yes Angela I can relate to going into total over-ride most of my life and pushing my body to keep going when really I knew I really needed to rest but simply not knowing another way.

        1. I too can relate Marg. It became normal to push through and keep working my body hard, even when there were signs to stop, I would find a second wind with the help of my nervous system and off I would go working my body hard. This way of living soon catches up with us as the body reflects those choices back to us for us to learn another way to be.

293. Yes Ariana I agree, it is truly inspiring that Jane honoured her body by listening to the messages and stopped running as we can become so attached to exercise thinking that pushing our bodies regardless of how it is feeling is good for us.

294. It’s interesting, exercise is such a delicious way to look after your body. I actually find that exercise helps connect me to my body, and that light exercise can be used to deepen my sense of solidarity, when I take that forward in the day it helps hugely in remaining steady and balanced all day within myself.

     1. Meg I feel you have made the defining difference between exercising gently and exercising with force. One connects you to your body where as the other pushes you to the point you become numb to your body.

        1. Yes, and that numbness then leads to further choices in disconnection to the body. Whereas the choice to connect and exercise in connection, supports us in every choice thereafter.

        2. That’s a great way to put it, exercise can be used as a compounding and a way to escape and numb what we feel, or it can be used as an exercise of deepening our connection to our body, a connection that can help support us all day long.

295. On reflecting I have always been interested in exercise of some sort and I was good at it especially in my younger days. Sports day at primary school I looked forward to as I would win most of the races but when I went to High school it was a different story as I was up against better opposition so I gave up because I wasn’t getting the recognition I wanted. I took up netball and hockey instead and when I left school I went to the gym regularly. A few years later I came across yoga and became addicted to this form of exercise practicing every day. I came to realise that I was actually hardening my body and that yoga was another way of seeking approval, becoming good at the poses and placing every thing on how my body was looking. I gave it up and didn’t do any exercise after that for some time. These days I walk and do gentle exercises. I love exercising as there is no pushing, straining and no trying to get somewhere but simply being with me and my body.

296. Agree Marika, “Lack of self-worth is a global epidemic” – And ‘The Way of the Livingness’ is the cure. Nothing to ‘win’ here – but to claim back.

     1. Amen to that Sandra!

297. If we ignore who we are, we will miss truth (love, joy, harmony) dearly. But the great thing is: we can come back. Like Jane did. And so many others are on the way. So, to quote Jane: deepest ‘Thanks’ to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for the Inspiration.

298. Jane – I love this. I love how much you have shared and do with much detail.
     I can relate to using things outside of ourselves as recognition and for identification. And I can relate to overriding the body to make it happen. I returned to martial arts ( something I no longer do) three months after my daughter was born. My need to be recognised and identified was so strong that I didn’t think twice about the massive bruises I received during wrestling or that I times wet my pants when I was kicked in the stomach during sparing. Now I know a far more gentle way of being that I feel complete with.

     1. I too love this blog johann08smith, for all Jane has shared and highlighted and with so much detail and clarity…. very exposing, every supportive and very healing.

299. Jane, while never having been a runner, I too have recently discovered that “if I exercise in connection to myself, not only does it feel amazing, that same quality of connection remains with me long after I finish my exercise”. This is so different from how we are taught to exercise or play sport at school where it was always about pushing the body, competing to win and the ‘PB’. When exercising in connection, there is a constant communication with the body which guides what is to be done, for how long and at what intensity. Every exercise session is different depending on what serves the body on a particle day. Then as you say, the connection we build during exercise “is what I take into the rest of my day”. Who would not want this type of exercise?

     1. I agree Anne in fact I never used to exercise but since I have become more connected to my body I have started to exercise regularly and also do weights as my body has told me that she would like me to! It feels really good and supportive as I age to build that strength in my body. At the end of the day it is always about the energy and purpose behind what we do, say eat or think and not the action itself. However, there are some actions that we would never choose to do when we are lovingly connected to ourselves and others.

        1. Well said Nicola, we would not chose those unloving acts that are abusive for ourselves when we can feel the tenderness and true beauty we come from.

        2. Yes Nicola – the purpose is very important. If I don’t know, why I should do something, I wouldn’t do now and I agree with you – once we are connected, a lot of things we will never do again.

        3. Totally Alexander and Nicola, there are a lot of things I would not do to my body now, and things I now do. I used to think exercise was a waste of time and now one of the joys of my day is to go for a walk.

300. My goodness Jane, what an incredible story – I feel the urge to stop and have a cup of tea to digest all that you have shared. I can almost taste that nervous tension that used to come up in my body before competing in events at school.
     What struck me the most while reading how you ran in a 10k race when your son was 8 days old was just how strongly driven we can be by the power behind ideals and beliefs and how blessed are we when we finally come to the realization that they were mostly absolute non-sense.

301. When you described how you ran off, only having breastfed on one side, I winced – it must have felt so uncomfortable! I may not have run 8 days after giving birth, but I was equally dishonouring of myself and my body after having my babies. I got straight back into ‘doing’ with no connection. I too am deeply appreciative of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and my re-connection back to me.

     1. When I read stories like this it always amazes me what we are prepared to do because of the lack of not feeling enough. While I did not run 8 days after having a baby, I too neglected myself after giving birth as I felt exhausted most of the time. I too am deeply appreciative of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for offering me another way.

     2. I did this as well Carmin – straight back into ‘doing’!! By the time I had my third baby, I ‘did’ consider organising some support in the early weeks but was still driven by ‘doing’… it took another 15+ years after that to actually begin to develop a connection back to my body, for which I too am deeply appreciative of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for the inspiration and showing that there is another way.

     3. While I have not given birth yet, I could feel the immense drive that needed to rise to overcome the pain and discomfort of pushing the body like that after breastfeeding.
        I agree Caroline, I am shocked by what we can put our bodies through in trying to prove or feel like we are enough. For me, it was drug and party abuse, I would try and keep up with the others to fit in and prove I was just as keen to get as wasted as possible. I shudder to think of what I put into my body and yet I feel an awesome appreciation to know I am living a life where I claiming my worth, love, joy and vitality once more. Thank God for Serge Benhayon!

        1. Hear hear Rachel! My whole body sings ‘Thank God for Serge Benhayon’, daily!

        2. I can relate to what you are sharing here Rachael – I went the opposite direction of what Jane describes by holding back from young age, and the remedy when I entered teenage years was alcohol and parties for many years. My life is turned completely upside down since I met Serge Benhayon. I agree – Thank God for that!

302. What a turnaround Jane from ignoring the signals of what your body was showing you, pushing through with extreme competitive sport to now being such a beautiful, precious and tender woman. Exercise is a vital part of our self-care, but only when it is done with purpose, love and connection. When done with force, strain or competitiveness it is harming. Your story is valuable Jane for many to read as it clearly outlines the difference between the two ways of exercising.

303. Gosh that switch you describe Jane, from breast feeding your baby then instantly running for the start line, such a powerful contrast in so many ways. The deeply tender, nurturing, intimate connection to be had with your little baby while breastfeeding, to the full-on competition and grueling push you then made in your body, are poles apart. It’s not surprising you questioned that it didn’t feel right and not surprising either that this experience was the catalyst for the changes you then brought to your relationship with your body and exercise. What a wonderful gift and opportunity your baby brought you.

     1. Yes this point really struck me too Rosanna. A complete contrast, and I can’t imagine what a shock that was to your body. It’s amazing how far we can override the body to ‘do what we want’, as you described completing the race in a ‘respectable time’.

304. Such a great sharing, Jane, love it. How wonderful that you realised for yourself that all the running that you were doing, with the competitive pushing, ‘having to’ was all truly coming from your great need for recognition. Great that you did not have to have a ‘big stop’ to pull you up from this behaviour. And what a wonderful true realisation you had, “What I really needed to do was to stop and connect to the real me – who I was inside – with no need for validation through achievement or recognition, just simply feeling the loveliness of me.” That is wonderful. And now you have a true appreciation for yourself, for being the lovely you that you truly are.

305. I began running in my teen years, following the modeling of other members in my family, with the belief that it was good to push the body as it was good to push yourself to excel academically; that we could eat bigger meals and sweet treats so long as we went running regularly to ‘run it off’. These beliefs stayed with me and drove my behavior until I stared them in the face a few years ago and saw the ridiculousness of living like that.

     Now I listen to my body and eat what it needs, exercise regularly but super gently and my body has settled into a weight and size that supports it. It may continue to change, the more I surrender and trust the spaciousness, but changing the body is no longer my focus and this has been a conscious choice to love and appreciate it rather than push it and manipulate it. Running was never competitive for me, but the reason for running was no different to what you have unraveled Jane: to be slim was to be noticed, validated and therefore worthy.

     1. Wow, words so true they stopped me emmadanchin: the reason for so many behaviours I am doing, is “…to be noticed, validated and therefore worthy”. Behaviours that are very subtly looking for someone to validate me, so subtle that almost no-body would guess. But when I open myself up and am completely honest with myself, it is there, bright as daylight, that I still don’t value myself completely; I need others to value me and give me worth and that is quite sad to observe. It’s not extreme like competitive sport or the world of academia might be, but that doesn’t matter because anything I do to get recognised tells me I think I am not enough.

        1. I love what you’ve said here Suzanne – when you open yourself up and are compeltely honest with yourself, it is all there and no one needs to guess. This is gold.

        2. How true is that, Eva and Suzanne .. when we surrender and look honestly, it is all there for us. It feels like we are God, all knowing and yet we have forgotten this altogether and so it is a process of remembering just how much we do know and letting go of the behaviours and pictures that we have made life about.

        3. This is something I am learning and choosing to do more and more, ‘when I open myself up and am completely honest with myself, it is there, bright as daylight’. This can apply to many areas of our life. I agree and can relate with what you share here Suzanne.

        4. Wonderfully said Suzanne – when we stop looking for recognition outside of ourselves, then life starts to blossom. All these false investments will fall away.

     2. Isn’t that such a common belief – that we can eat bigger meals and ‘treats’ so long as we run/ exercise it off. There is no regard for the quality and quantity of food with which we nourish our bodies, but a focus on the way we look and the appearance of our bodies and our weight, so food therefore becomes something we can ‘get away with’ depending on how far we push ourselves. This is a perfect example of disordered eating and disordered exercising.

        1. Yes, I see this so often Kylie, it is one of the many beliefs we have adopted. Food is generally seen in relation to how good it tastes and for meeting one’s desires, yet the consideration for how that then feels in the body is missing. Pondering on it as I write, I can feel the hardness and disconnection in this belief, pushing the body to withstand whatever our mind desires, not stopping to question where these thoughts actually come from. It is a cycle of disregard and liberating to withdraw from this, see it for what it is and come back to honouring the body at each choice.

306. I got quite a shock when I read that you tried to run when your baby was 8 days old! But then I was still giving shiatsu, kneeling on the floor and shifting my weight from one knee to the other and leaning forward, as well as massaging at a table, when I was 36 weeks pregnant! Having a child is such a learning for women to surrender to the stillness and fragility of this process, to let go of trying to be in control and allow ourselves to be taken care of.

     I started running again when my baby was 3 months old and I felt huge, stiff, awkward and heavy. I began bootcamp which included boxing and sprinting on the beach, pilates, push ups etc which certainly got me moving again. But looking back, having now completely let go of this pushing way of exercising, I would never do that again. It is so joyful to exercise gently, in a way that honours the body and its tenderness at any stage of life.

307. Thank you Jane, your blog clearly exposes the way we can use exercise as something to be recognised and to compete and be better than another only to fill the emptiness within ourselves instead of exercising to honour, enjoy and truly support our bodies – huge difference.

     1. Yes Francisco, becoming aware of the intention behind what we are doing helps to understand what is driving us underneath and why we do it. And that understanding can help to see the falseness of what we are running with, and the harm that is being caused. The insanity of more and more extreme sports, such as marathons that is now considered absolutely normal is one outcome of choosing to deny what we feel and truly get to know what is going on deep down.

     2. True Francisco – when we use exercise in an attempt to fill the emptiness within, it is no different to using food, TV, internet etc. to fill up the void. The quality in how we do what we do makes the difference.

     3. It is a massive difference, Francisco. It is not surprising that those who are in ‘peak physical condition’ are much more prone to injury than those who do not exercise with such intensity, and do not push their bodies to their physical limits.

308. The amount of effort and force it takes to consistently override your bodies natural messages feels so super exhausting let alone the huge drain and pressure that can be felt when we are heavily driven by competition which becomes the only buzz when we are constantly giving our power away like this. Exercising in connection is not only an amazingly joyful experience, it is also extremely empowering

     1. I don’t wonder any more, that so many people today are exhausted. It makes sense, then you don’t listen to your body, the body will be exhausted.

309. It took me until my 40’s to discover that exercise can be light, playful, fun and something I can enjoy on my own, or in the company of others. Up until then my experience of exercising and keeping fit had mainly been from school team sports which I loathed and would spend more time trying to come up with creative ways of getting out of sport, such as I think I had my period 3 times a month and often forgot my bloomers would take 25mins to go to the toilet or get a drink, or hit the tennis ball way out of bounds so I would have to go on hike to retrieve it. I hated it, forging notes.. The sports teachers would just roll their eyes at the creative excuses each week. Now I am willing go to the gym and walk and swim but it really in a way that is supportive for my body and me.

     1. Ah yes, the note-forging and period excuse! Whenever we do swimming at school in our Physical Ed lessons there is a mountain of journals the teachers have to go through.. ‘I forgot my kit, ‘I’m on my period (again!)’, ‘I couldn’t find my costume’, ‘I hurt my leg/ankle/knee’… Although it is funny, it’s sad that so many girls shut off from the idea of exercise, and despise it so strongly. The way it’s taught at school is very competition-driven, but as you say Nicole it can actually be really enjoyable.

     2. Your point about exercise being punishing to be effective is a good one, with the emergence of gruelling fitness regimes and marathons and triathlons. If you are a masseuse you will be in a growth industry!

     3. Oh yeah, I remember that in school too – trying to get out of sport or hiding when it was cross country and taking my own marker pen to forge the lap strokes on my arm!
        Pretty cool though in year 11 and 12 we could choose beach walking as a sport and leisurely stroll up the beach with our friends (although I loathed exercise so much that I thought this was too a waste of time!). I think the whole idea of loosing weight, competing, needing to look fit or a certain way to be deemed as sexy really put pressure on exercise for me and turned me off the idea completely. Since attending talks by Serge Benhayon I am learning what exercise is about and the joy of connecting to my very capable body in movement.

        1. I agree Rachael – Serge Benhayon made exercise make sense for me as well, having been in reaction to ‘exercise’ my whole life – seeing it as the whole package that you describe above.

        2. yes, I would get out of sport every single week – I couldn’t stand it. Interestingly though, after school, in my 20s I became addicted to exercise, pushing my body for hours on end. I was hooked into the ‘ideal body’ and exercise for me became everything. It wasn’t until meeting Serge Benhayon that I have come to find my true balance with exercise and my body shape that actually reflects me rather than an ideal.

     4. Nicole that is very relatable – the countless excuses for not having to participate in sports. I hated the competition our sports classes always brought up – the losers and the winners.

        1. There is a big theme that a lack of participation in school sport is due to the nature of the beast that has been created. It makes me wonder why more effort isn’t made to alter that beast and make exercise more fun and appealing. It doesn’t help that we have such ridiculous messages being blasted about body image that must put so much pressure on young people. I wonder if this is ever considered, the impact of the marketing messages by those delivering them. It is so damaging that we are not more accepting of how we all look, there is never a one size fits all body type and it’s time we acknowledged this and spread that message for all to hear.

        2. Indeed Stephen – the ripple effects due to the lack of self worth that is established and/or confirmed during school sports are potentially enormous and something that a lot of people spend the rest of their lives dealing with. Consequently this has a huge impact on our societies.

     5. It can be so easy not to listen to that voice, our inner-knowing, when it is what we see around us everywhere since we are born – people choosing not to listen to what they know is true. But when we reconnect to “the wisdom of what the body wants” (I love how you said this Marika), it speaks more loudly all the time and it becomes easier to live from this despite what we see around us.

     6. Wow Nicole, that’s hilarious. At least you had some idea that competition felt awful and you didn’t want to be apart of it… It’s cool how you didn’t override it and push through.

        1. It’s interesting how we all do things so differently.

310. It’s an interesting story Jane how you thought you should push the body very hard with exercise to get cardio work out or strength training and endurance workout running for miles. I am loving exercising gently, doing what my body wants to do at any given moment, maybe a stretch, maybe a walk, maybe a little abds, all varying according to how I’m feeling. When exercise is performed like this, the body loves it.

     1. Yes true Gill. My body loves being listened too when excercising also- it feels fantastic ! I always feel great afterwards…A good marker to go from rather than how I use to feel- exhausted, sore and still lacking worth.

311. I wince at the thought of doing a running race, let alone doing one 8 days after giving birth. I have no idea what that must have felt like, but I understand why you went through with it. It is incredible how we can ignore the body that en-houses us when the mind is doggedly stubborn about achieving something.

     1. Very true Jinya – when we allow the mind to run our body, we are getting lost – in the doing, in the exercises. Once we connect to ourselves, we know exactly what the body loves to do. Our body is the best teacher we can get.

312. Jane it was great to read how you gave up competition for connection to your body once you felt the harm in your body. Our body is amazing, when we stop to listen we are truly guided.

313. Jane I also thought people that ran and did marathons were fit and healthy, they were the “good” ones. The ones that were well. It was only when a gym teacher at our school who looked the fittest ever and did marathons and competitions got cancer and passed over did I start to question how is that possible? How can someone who ticks all the exercise boxes get sick? Yet what you’ve shared is the other side, the drive and the fact that because we push ourselves beyond what our body is telling us is too much we choose and allow that to happen. Although the same can be applied to any situation that I find myself in when I override my body for a particular reason.

314. On that day Jane you gave up running you gave more up then running. You gave up on competition. You chose connection – to you and others. You chose love.

     1. Yes… beautifuly written,… Gave up on running but actually gained so much… You won the greatest ‘race’ of them all on that day … choosing to be with your love.

     2. Exactly Sandra Schneider. That day you may have felt you lost a battle in the race, but it was the spirit in you that lost to the power of the soul, and that is worth more than anything.

     3. You are so right Sandra and LOVE is the only game worth playing!

     4. In fact there is nothing to ‘win’ – we have all what is needed (and dearly wanted) in us. To fight, to battle is the denying of who are, namely Love.

315. Beautiful sharing Jane and so lovely to show what is possible when we start to look at our lives and really feel what we are doing and what is going on. The overriding and not listening to our bodies in a quest for self recognition and what is considered normal can be quite shocking to see and realise when we have the grace and space to do this. Connecting to our bodies and who we are inside through stillness is an amazing gift and healing for us all and brings true quality to our lives and that of others very simply and lovingly.

316. This article is bringing up in me how abusive I have been to my body as well and in which way I was acting and thinking in the past not considering at all that I would abuse myself but would do something good for my body as I chose to move it instead of being passive. I was proud of myself and getting recognition out of it. Through Universal Medicine a lot has changed and I am still learning and understanding the levels of abuse still taking place in my life and keeping me away from love.

317. What an incredible transformation Jane. There are many areas in life where we override our bodies messages to gain a sense of belonging or recognition. Only through knowing deeply who we are and listening to our bodies does the need for recognition and outer fulfilment become obvious and begin to diminish.

     1. I agree Rosemary – Jane’s transformation is incredible.

318. Wow…what we do for a win, whether it be for a medal or our personal best or even just to get ‘out their amongst it all’. I can feel definitely the damaging effects of competition for sure, but why is it celebrated and encouraged as a great thing when it clearly isn’t? It keeps us thinking that we are not connected in any way; It encourages one up-manship, which is the opposite to the equalness we truly are; I requires us to push our bodies so hard that it changes it’s natural and glorious shape and increases the likelihood of major injuries. I really is a very cleaver tactic to keep us separated from who we are and we have fallen for it hook line and sinker.

319. I could never have walked 2km let alone run 10km after the birth of my child, but what I did do was go to a department store with my 6day old baby, not because I had to – my husband could easily have gone alone – but to prove that I was somehow ‘better than’ other women, somehow more capable at being a mother, more capable physically, because I was able to leave the house with such a new baby. I was looking for validation too. And this happens every single second of every single hour of every single day, every where; because people everywhere don’t think they are enough as they are. This has got to change.

320. “Whilst this outer battle was taking place I could feel an inner war going on which felt far greater. My body was shouting at me to stop and feel what I was doing to myself..” Its really amazing how competition in a sporting field is like a ‘war zone’, jostling for position, rank, to beat another… and this battle happening on the outside around us, actually mirrors the internal environment inside a person, be it physiologically, emotionally, psychologically.. An interesting parallel at play, where internal harmony and connection is buried way under all this activity

321. Thanks for your blog Jane I too am learning to focus on the quality of my being rather than what I do.

322. “I realised everything I was doing was to gain a sense of: Validation, Self-worth, Recognition” — completely Jane, and for myself I would also add Approval to this allied collection of ill. This was so huge for me growing up. When there is an ignoring or a not meeting of a person, say for example, parent to child, the connection is missing, and when the connection is missing there can be no confirming of the child in who they are. Thus starts the drive to prove and to be seen and not ignored. A lack of confirming leads to doubt and a lack of confidence in oneself. So crucially everything is about, or starts with connection first. Connecting to ourselves mean that we self-confirm, and in this develop confidence in our body… I’ve found exercising as you describe Jane, really useful and great for this.

     1. “A lack of confirming leads to doubt and a lack of confidence in oneself. So crucially everything is about, or starts with connection first.” This is key Zofia. It is very easy to begin your day as soon as one awakes, think about all that needs doing, and switch the autopilot on! I have recently made a choice to connect absolutely with myself first and foremost every morning before I entertain anything else. This brings a deep awareness to how I am truly feeling and a connection from which I can begin my day.

323. Even though I allready stopped actively playing sports, I can still feel the tendency of aligning to read about sport results, mostly football. I notice within myself that I still have ‘my favourite teams’. I’ve been pondering on why this is. What makes me choose aligning. Because what I do feel is that the energy is horrible, the energy settles in my head and I become numb. Yesterday I felt that there’s somehow sympathy going on. And a ‘constant drive, rush’ that keeps me from feeling. Amazing how devastating only reading news articles is. And how stubborn I am… Even though I am becoming more and more to an understanding what is underneath.

324. “I have learned that exercise is about connection first and if I exercise in connection to myself, not only does it feel amazing, that same quality of connection remains with me long after I finish my exercise. It is what I take into the rest of my day” – what a great reminder Jane — when we’re exercising in this way we exercise exactly that connection (aside from exercising our physicality)

325. Wow what a change from being competitive running to enjoying gentle walking and gentle exercising. I found this profound and should be in the newspapers and magazines. Thank you for sharing.

     1. A big wow from me too Monika and I agree with you that this article is profound and should be shared and celebrated throughout the world.

326. Jane, although I have never enjoyed competiting in sports, as a child we were encouraged to do so as part of an all-rounded schooling. I remembered being trained to compete in backstroke, 400m running and the yearly sports day doing the sack race. I also remembered seeing an old school photo of myself winning something in sports with a team member and being given a medal. The unease I saw and felt in that photo was poignant. I didn’t feel myself, what I saw in that photo was a feeling of embarrasment.

     1. I feel the same Adele, ‘I have never enjoyed competing in sports, as a child we were encouraged to do so as part of an all-rounded schooling’, at my school as in many schools sport was a compulsory part of the curriculum, I always dreaded playing sport, I got really cold and found it really hard playing hockey in all weathers in the outside sports field, I was usually last to be chosen for the netball team along with some other children, this was really awful for my confidence growing up, it feels cruel to put children through this, I always felt like a bit of a failure because I was not good at any sports.

327. All the choices in life can be made either in connection to ourselves or not. When made in connection to that loveliness within us, it is a celebration of who we are no matter what we are doing. When made in disconnection, we are looking outside for something that we have not chosen to give to ourselves, it is an endless search because what we are searching cannot truly fulfill. We are already magnificently enough, and if we haven’t started in life knowing this, there is no greater joy than to return to feeling and living the simplicity of who we are.

328. It is amazing what we put our body through for validation, self-worth and recognition. Although I was never involved in sport competition I used to ride a fair bit before coming to this country. It was a matter of pride for me to never complain about the many falls from horseback. Even when passing out from a fall in the forest I brushed it aside as an inevitable component of the sport. I am certain that some of aches and pains I feel today are related to the abuse I put my body through all those years ago. I have learned to listen to my body. Just now I could feel my shoulders tensing at remembering some of those episodes.

329. Competition gives us momentary glory at the great expense of ourselves and others…great to expose this game Jane, and it doesn’t necessarily have to relate to sport – it can be competition at work, in relationships, between friends e.g. women can be competitive in how they dress. Competition I feel is far more prevalent than we would like to acknowledge.

     1. That is so true Paula – any form of competition is harming to ourselves and others.

330. Awesome blog Jane! It totally highlights the fact that all our behaviours that stop us feeling and being the loveliness that we innately all are, are all forms of running away from ourselves. It also shows us that at anytime we can literally wake up and slow the pace enough that allows us to turnaround and reconnect to the wisdom that is within us all equally and stop running away from our potential anymore.

331. Wow Jane, amazing article — amazing to feel the strain and overriding you placed on your body and amazing to feel how you finally decided to say no, that this does doesn’t actually feel good at all. I had my fair share of competitive sports including running when i was younger and I can relate fully to all that you’ve shared. The pushing and the competing actually felt awful, but what kept me going was that driver to be recognised, to have my name somewhere, to hear the applauding, to feel I was worth something.
     It is insidious how competitive sport is dressed up to be healthy, attractive and lucrative. It is in fact none of these. What it really does is fuel separation from self and from others. It fuels the misplaced dog eats dog notion that keeps making completely disconnected from the brotherhood and beauty we can all live in.

332. Jane thank you for sharing this beautiful story of your amazing turnaround. You have clearly shown how the body is constantly communicating to us, if we are honoring ourselves and our delicateness or not. And you have shown how the more that we choose to connect to our bodies and ourselves, to our love within, the more we realise that there is no need to seek recognition. We then discover that with this connection to who we are inside, we are already enough. As you have gorgeously expressed – ‘What I really needed to do was to stop and connect to the real me – who I was inside – with no need for validation through achievement or recognition, just simply feeling the loveliness of me.’ – and what a gorgeous foundation this is to live from.

     1. Yes Carola, a gorgeous foundation to live from and once re-discovered, no-one can ever take this connection to self away from you or diminish it in any way.

333. This is a very exposing blog Jane. It brings me visions of professional athletes faces when they are competing. They always have a hard and pained expression as if they are pushing themselves to the absolute lint of their endurance – and often beyond and I have always thought that what they are doing looks like hell to me. In fact your words also raise visions of people working out in the gym who don’t seem to be really enjoying themselves at all and are grunting in agony and often injured and always either strutting their stuff or seemingly timid due to comparing themselves to the other fitter grunters.
     What you present is just such a beautiful alternative, and totally enjoyable way to stay fit, develop connection with self and honour what your body can and can’t do in the process. To me that shift is the highest achievement you have made in your ‘exercise career’ and you deserve a medal for it. Well done Jane!

334. It amazes me how much we override our bodies when we have someone or others there on the side lines cheering us on. I did a half marathon once with very little training time beforehand because friends were doing it and encouraged me to do so too, which I did to not feel excluded. Needless to say it was a highly unpleasant experience and I ended up with a headache, let alone the all over body ache for 3 days afterwards. How is that for the body speaking loudly!! All to fit in and be accepted.

335. You are making a profound point in your blog Jane, how it leaves us empty and wanting when we make our lives about achieving and gaining acceptance and recognition from the outside. We get trapped in the forever looking outside of ourselves for ‘something’ we long for, whilst all along we hold that ‘something’ inside, a deep love and preciousness that will leave us feeling whole and fulfilled once we connect to it.

336. Competition to feel better about ourselves serves no one, not us or any other.

337. That’s really interesting Jane what you say about missing out on the beauty of nature and your own body by focusing on the outside end goal – “I was running, my focus became very narrowed so I could not truly enjoy my body or the beauty in nature around me.” This could be applied to any activity or job, I know that when I focus on achieving the end result, I have left any chance of connection with myself and therefore missed out on an enjoyment of the quality I can otherwise bring to anyone of those tasks. I find I am able to notice and appreciate myself so much more when I have presence with myself, and it feels far more nurturing than any act in search of my own self-worth.

338. A great observation Jane, we so often override the wisdom of the body in many things we do in daily life ..’.something had changed. As I ran I could feel that my body was not enjoying this at all. It was not to do with fitness, it was to do with how I felt. I found I did not want to compete, I did not want to overtake anyone and I did not want to push my body into doing something it clearly did not want to do.’

339. ‘Go hard or go home,’ ‘feel the burn,’ ‘no pain, not gain’ and ‘just do it’ are slogans frequently bandied about in the sporting world. Having a competitive nature and commitment to pushing your body to the limit is readily accepted, even championed, as an admirable quality in a person, but when we tune in to our bodies they readily tell us that they want neither the push nor the competition as both are out of sync with how the body naturally is.

340. What I love about your blog Jane is that I can relate to similar examples of past behaviour that make me feel ‘ouch’. I went on a wind surfing course not long after having my daughter, and remember everyone else having lunch while I was breast feeding in the car in my break, not feeling how my body needed to recover from the delivery of my child. What is really great now is not to beat ourselves up about the past but learn the importance of how we are in our quality in our bodies today is what really matters.

341. Your description of your last run brought up the question for me, ‘how often do we attempt to override what our body is telling us?’ It is described wonderfully in this article “Whilst this outer battle was taking place I could feel an inner war going on which felt far greater. My body was shouting at me to stop and feel what I was doing to myself.” So lovely to read of you honouring it and being open to feeling what your body is sharing with you. I know my life has altered deeply through me being honest about what my body shares, it is a support, guide and tool to maintaining and developing well-being and self awareness.

342. I have never pushed my body in sport the way that you did Jane, but I used to run as a way of keeping fit. One day I ran too far and could really feel what the running was doing to my body. I haven’t run since…

     1. This was what I noticed too Susan. My joints were feeling painful and I realised that every step I took while running was giving my joints a real pounding. I now walk a lot and love it. It is a much more gentle way of exercising that my body truly appreciates.

     2. I’m also so glad, that I gave up my running. When I did this, it was very often on the street, running around between houses and cars. There was no joy in it. I was basically running away from myself. Today it is very different – first I connect to myself and then I do my exercises.

        1. Alexander, this is key… Is there joy in it? If not, why are we doing it in that way?

343. Yes we can bring things to us and make things happen but there is no magic in this and it is void of the joy that life could otherwise be.

344. A saber tooth tiger has not chased me recently and if I had to get some place fast I drove. You are proof Jane of what we can do, to override our body’s natural way of being, if we just unplug the speaker from what the body is telling us. What if we allowed the body to be the incredible thing it is? There is never a need to run and try to catch something outside of us that we have always had.

345. Jane I really loved reading your blog, I could feel through your words how much competition separates and when we go into it, it becomes all about effort and the push, outdoing someone else and never truly seeing ourselves as enough. I am constantly staggered by the many ways we choose to not listen to our bodies and push ourselves into situations such as these. What I am recognising more and more is that I am, we all are, enough as we are. There is no need to compete when we see ourselves and life in this way. I am also seeing what a difference it makes when we begin to develop a true relationship with ourself and start to listen to our biggest and most supportive ally in life -our body. Just a beautiful blog!

346. ‘What I really needed to do was to stop and connect to the real me – who I was inside – with no need for validation through achievement or recognition, just simply feeling the loveliness of me.’ This, for so many of us, is a whole new way to approach life. Like Hannah Flanagan says, living from the inside out. It is so simple – to walk and feel our bodies, to touch something and appreciate the tenderness of our touch, to breathe gently and feel that gentleness spread throughout our body in a deliciously yummy way.

347. What I love about this article is that it’s message is so very relatable – I was never much into running but there are many other things I’ve found myself using to bring a sense of validation, recognition and/or self worth. The interesting thing is that there is actually nothing you can DO that will bring a lasting sense of worth and appreciation, and it was not until I learnt to shift the focus from what I do to how I am – to an ever-deepening inner connection- that life actually began to make sense. There is such freedom and joy living from the inside – out, rather than from the outside – in.

     1. I agree Hannah. Competition taints many activities, not just sport. When we live from the outside – in, we have no choice but to be in competition and seek validation. It makes sense in a totally nonsensical way.

        1. True Jinya, it makes a crazy kinda sense when we look around and see everyone else living this way – it seems “normal” and the competition and striving for validation by one person, has a total knock-on effect on those around them.

     2. Absolutely Hannah I totally agree. There are many things we can do in life from a drive for self-validation, recognition and comparison. Living life like that in the pursuit of recognition is a drain and just further propels a lack of self worth. Whereas living from our inside-out is naturally fulfilling and joyful.

     3. I agree Hannah – it is still something I work on, the idea that it is nothing that I DO that makes me amazing, but just who I am. Feeling the need to prove myself as being okay is a pesky habit, but I have found that the moments I have when I truly feel okay and whole in myself just because I can recognise that I am amazing, are the best in the world.

        1. Absolutely Rebecca, shifting the focus from what I do to how I am is not something that I live to perfection – it certainly takes time and some loving discipline to kick those old-school habits but boy oh boy is it worth it 🙂

        2. I agree – just yesterday I had a assignment come back marked, and it was a brilliant mark, better than I had allowed for, but at he same time I caught thoughts of ‘why wasn’t it better’ and ‘I need to do just as well if not better next time’. It was great to feel these thoughts and the place they came from – proving myself for the doing, rather than appreciating what I had done, and more importantly, how I had done it.

348. What I thought was Unbelievable was that the marshal and fellow competitors actually cheered you on in doing the10 km run, after only having given birth 8 days prior- Is this actually medically wise? Postpartum haemorrhage can occur.
     It’s interesting how we can be so invested in proving something about us as woman after giving birth that we override our body’s message to self nurture more instead.

     1. In sport and in life in general we are encouraged to toughen up and get on with it. the harder we push, the more obstacles we overcome the tougher we are. When we feel our true selves, we can’t help but feel how false this game is.

349. What I find interesting reading your blog Jane is how exercise, fitness and sport is pushed as a way to stay ahead of illness. There is an idea that the more fit you are, the less chance you have of becoming ill. In my experience, I’ve found the opposite. It seems that the most common reason for surgery on knees (of which there are many) is always related back to sport. Patients often comment that the problem they have has been related to ‘their sporting days’. An industry that promotes wellness through exercise, ie the medical industry, also say that sport causes problems. There are even many deaths every year in sport for all ages. The wear and tear placed upon our body is extreme, with repetitive pounding on all the joints of the body, the hips, the ankles and the back. I don’t feel that it is intentional, but sport has its own agenda and consciousness and people become consumed and even controlled by an idea of what sport and fitness should be and the consequence will always be the suffering of the human body.

     1. Great point Matthew. Until we break through the ideals, beliefs and consciousnesses held and start listening to and making choices from our bodies, little will change. Given how at large we choose to live; exercise, sport and fitness seem like the healthy option, but if we were to be developing our own awareness of what supports our body, we would see that a much different way of exercise would be called for.

     2. There is also a growing body of evidence about the cognitive effects of continual blows to the head in sports such as football. Not that we need that to see the results.

     3. That is a really good point Matthew, how sport/fitness can actually wear our bodies down (not support it) depending on the way we do this. I used to do a high level aerobics and thought it was ‘good’ for me. Just recently I have started to do exercise classes and this is in a completely different way, honouring my body and breath, it is completely different and I can see how far I have come.

350. Jane, I have also had a great deal of competition and sport in my life, and your reasons of validation, self-worth and recognition ring true for me too. For the last eight years I have not been involved in any competitive sports, as I had felt how uncomfortable my body was while I was participating and how crushing it can be for another when they lose, and how awful that felt in my body when I actually allowed myself to feel it.

     1. Well said Sally – it is not until we make a stop and allow ourselves to feel how it truly feels in our bodies, that we can begin to acknowledge that in fact competition is harmful to everyone involved.

     2. Competition should be recognised as the opposite of being humane, maybe then we would shake off the illusion of sport.

351. Thank you Jane, I agree, at judo training I would feel ‘anxious’ which led to being nauseous and sick. This was often a part of the routine for me at training sessions, and I often vomited. Even after vomiting I would ‘harden’ as a result of the push and drive to finish the session. This was all part of the toughening up, which is called ‘normal’ as part of training.

     1. Totally crazy, as we exercised in the past. And we were proud of it at this time as well. The harder we got, the more we lost our sensitivity, which we wouldn’t have admitted at that time. It was all about protection.

352. I was enthralled reading your blog Jane – The way you write makes it easy to relate to why we put ourselves into these situations in search of recognition, self worth or validation as you describe. Thank you.

353. Jane it’s incredible what we do to ourselves when we are overriding our bodies messages. I have found there are so many areas in my life where this can play out and how important it is to make a choice to be connect to my body instead of listening to my head or going into auto patterns.

354. This says quite a lot about the body’s response to what was about to occur: “I used to feel nervous before a race – my stomach felt strange, often hard and bloated and the only thing that seemed to numb my awareness of this would be to eat just before I ran, thus I usually ran on a full stomach.”

     1. It is incredible isn’t it Oliver, that our bodies can sense and knows our intentions. Thank you for pointing this out as it again highlights how much of a gift our bodies are to us. Always guiding us to deepen our connection to ourselves, our truth so we can grow, develop and live all that we are and let go of all that is not who we are. And the empowering thing is that the choice is always ours, as to whether we choose to listen to and honor the truth that is always being presented through our bodies.

        1. Yes Carola your are on the money, it is always a choice as to what we listen to or not, our bodies or our minds. Jane’s story shares what a full on thing the mind can be and how it can run the body by being completely divorced from how the body feels, it is like the body becomes its slave. Whereas when we put the body in charge our bodies can share amazing feelings of awareness and warmth when we are connected to love.

        2. I agree Carola that Jane’s story is indeed beautiful. It takes us on a journey, showing us many layers and depths, exposing what we can do to ourselves when disconnected to the wisdom of the body.

     2. And that tension and nerves that we experience before competition is seen as a good thing as it creates more adrenaline and can boost performance, but I wonder at what cost to the stress it places physiologically on our bodies? Worth considering for sure.

        1. It is such a distorted way of thinking, only possible when we ignore everything that we actually know about the body to be healthy and well. But then to even relate such absurdity to being fit, strong etc is beyond any common sense.

        2. I woud relate the feelings of nerves of competition to the buzz and adrenaline many seek from a scary film or even watching sport. It is worth considering more deeply why we seek the buzz? To take the extreme example this would be someone who does free fall jumping, yet we can see less extreme versions of this thrill fix in many aspects of our lives. Do we seek this fix to fill an unfulfilled need that lies within us, one that won’t actually be resolved by the activity and the buzz but instead only by accepting and appreciating who we are regardless of what we do?

355. “That day I got to feel that, deep down, all of that trying and pushing of my body never changed anything. No matter how much faster I ran, how many people I passed and how many medals I won, only to toss them in a drawer, it did not change who I was.” When we do anything from our disconnection to ourselves or trying not to feel our hurts we always feel the emptiness afterwards and have to then become more driven, or competitive than we were, only to find we feel more empty and desperate and so the cycle goes round and round, this is considered a normal way of living in the world. It takes strength and courage Jane to break out of this ‘cycle of competiveness’ and stop and feel why we entered in the first place.

356. “ I have learned that exercise is about connection first and if I exercise in connection to myself, not only does it feel amazing, that same quality of connection remains with me long after I finish my exercise. It is what I take into the rest of my day.” This is so true Jane, when we connect before, and during exercise, a warmth and expansiveness then emanates from of body and supports us in the activity of our daily actions.

357. What a huge and incredible transformation Jane, and beautiful realizations as to why you were competing. I felt a sadness when I read your blog, as it brought up the hard, loveless way I have driven my body like a machine with no connection, very much coming from mead about what is healthy, rather than stopping to feel and listen to the wisdom of my body as I am doing now, more and more.

358. This blog holds clues for many areas of life that are considered normal, but in the light of day are seriously lacking: competition as a way to feel good about yourself being but one of them.

     1. It just goes to show that what is considered “normal” is not necessarily something that is true or correct for us. Competition is championed in our society as character building yet have we ever stopped to consider what kind of character is it really building? Is a society of people who are disconnected from themselves and their bodies really serving us? I say NO it is not.

        1. Great question Elizabeth, what kind of character is competition building? One that serves the individual without consideration for the whole.

        2. A great point you make here, Elizabeth. “Competition is championed in our society as character building yet have we ever stopped to consider what kind of character is it really building?” Now that really has one thinking. Just what kind of character do we truly want. We have not considered that. Going on the old way so takes us away from ourselves. We need to build a completely new character, truly find ourselves, and that will be the true character.

        3. Yes, well said Elizabeth. It’s no surprise that a society founded on individuals’ achieving success based on being more than another in some arbitrary way, would applaud ways that re-enforced this as a way of living in order to keep it going and unquestioned.

359. This is a great line and very inspiring Jane: “I have learned that exercise is about connection first and if I exercise in connection to myself, not only does it feel amazing, that same quality of connection remains with me long after I finish my exercise. It is what I take into the rest of my day.” I completely agree. To exercise gently and consistently, with no push does feel amazing, the body feels truly supported and this is what can then be taken into the day.

     1. So true Sandra, we so often feel that exercising has to be forceful otherwise our bodies don’t benefit, but I have never felt that exercising until we hurt and inventing things to distract ourselves from the pain is really that great an idea. What we might gain in fitness we’ll loose in valuable energy used up in repairing the damage! When we bring our focus to connecting with ourselves first, moving our bodies with gentleness and awareness, it is a quality that supports the body to loosen, relax, let go of tension and enables us to feel lighthearted and fresh, qualities that can if we choose, accompany us throughout the whole day.

     2. Yes, it’s completely different to feeling wiped out after exercise that isn’t done in connection with ones body.

        I used to think the exhaustion I experienced post exercise indicated that it was a good workout. Anything less I’d not pushed myself enough- and I experience this as being generally accepted in society including aches and pains being a testimony of a good workout. It shows the level of disregard that is given for the body in society; where exercising without listening to the body’s signals is normal; or even misinterpreting those signals, those aches and pains, and having them mean a job well done.

     3. Mee= too Sandra. To exercise in connection is so joyful and playful. In the past I had put so much wrong effort into the exercises. Today I feel into my body to see, how much I want to train and how long.

360. I am amazed at the support you received from fellow competitors and marshals as you competed in a 10km race having just breast fed your 8day old son on the start line. How could such an unloving act (both for mother and son) be trumpeted and supported by those around you?

     1. Me too Peter. Why is it that we herald struggle as a form of triumph? There is so much glamour in our self-created turmoil, struggles and seeming ‘success’ or ‘loss’ that we completely lose ourselves in our self-absorbed creations.

361. You have come so far Jane when I read this blog of how you behaved then and how different your choices are now. You have so much lived wisdom now to pass onto your patients with your work. Our bodies give us the truth every time.

362. It’s quite amazing how we have turned sports into something that is pure abuse to our bodies. When you look at the animals, there is no animal that runs harder than it needs to or wants to be competitive with any other animal. We have made sports into a recognition show where we lose all connection with our body and what it needs.

     1. Abuse is really the right word Mariette. We torture our body, when we compete against each other.

        1. And most sports if not all sports are about competition. This is such an abuse on our body but also in creating seperation. Look at soccer here in Holland. People cannot sit with each other in one stadium, now, what is that all about? That is a war on its own.

363. It is interesting, Jane, that it was after you gave birth that you could feel in your body what was no longer ok to endure. Is it that this is a time when an innate sense and connection to our body is stronger and is not willing to be overridden any longer. I know during the early months of first having children my body gave me stronger signals as to what was ok and not ok.. The body is amazing and I have learnt it does pay to listen!

364. This is a great blog because it presents the truth about how living disconnected from ourselves allows us to do all sorts of things that are deeply harming for the body.

     1. Your comment Elizabeth sums it up! Living disconnected from our body allows us to over-ride it to our detriment. To leave a baby being fed is so against what a Mother instinctively feels to do! A powerful blog highlighting how out of our connectedness we can be when sport takes over!

365. Wow Jane – I was stunned to read about your experience breastfeeding and then taking off on a run. It seems inconceivable that we champion these choices in the name of recognition and acceptance. I can feel very strongly that the pursuit of recognition plays out the same for all of us be it through running, competing, doing well in a career or even in choosing ‘failure’. There is recognition in it all and it is exhausting. I appreciate reading your story and I relate to it very strongly even though I’ve barely managed run more than 100 meters in my life. Thank you.

366. Jane, the raw honesty of your previous disregard offers a great platform for exposing the disregard we can all fall into in different ways that we may be completely unaware of at the time. What a potential for true healing as I am feeling the impact of so many of my own ill choices through life and a deeper awareness of some still continuing.

367. Gosh Jane for someone like me who has never had a competitive, sporty, athletic bone in her body this makes for very interesting and intense reading. You have laid the facts bare for all to see. Your description of how you ran after giving birth and with the soreness in one of your breasts, well, it is inconceivable to me how you were able to do that. A testament to the strength of mind over body. And then how your innate wisdom then delivered you from this, and you heeded it! Remarkable. I feel this blog would be an insightful read for those into intense sport exposing just how punishing this is for their bodies.

368. Jane your wonderful blog reminds me of the competitive nature I got myself involved in when I did treks in the Himalayas x3, one in New Zealand and one in Tasmania, in truth all for recognition.
     For 6 months prior to each trek – I pushed myself to climb mts at 1000m or climb 1000 steps with weights on my back. I would walk for 4-6 hrs. The next day my legs felt like jelly and my back would be aching, but I put it down to needing to be more fit.
     Each subsequent trek I did in the Himalayas I climbed at a higher altitude, despite suffering from symptoms of altitude sickness- headaches, severe breathlessness, heart palpitations, and swollen fingers, and exhaustion.- I kept justifying doing the treks for the temporary exhilaration I felt, magnificent scenery I saw, and for the like minded people I met.
     However at the end of it all there was a feeling of emptiness felt in my body, and deep sadness. I had also lost 1/2 stone in weight.
     Finally, like yourself my body talked very loud and I decided to listen and stop doing treks.
     Nowadays I enjoy gentle walking whilst feeling my awesome connection to my body.

369. Yes, me too Brendan. Lot’s of exercise to relieve the symptoms of stress…but the stress itself did not change until I started to look at why I was stressed. Good point.

370. “What I really needed to do was to stop and connect to the real me – who I was inside – with no need for validation through achievement or recognition, just simply feeling the loveliness of me.”- what an amazing turnaround and honest awareness of what sport is truly about and how it doesn’t honour the body, if done for recognition or personal gain.

371. I have played a lot of competitive sport in my life especially cricket but others too. I can recall a distinct moment during a match when I was still fairly young that the competition with others didn’t feel right or true. Because it was a big part of my life and something I had identified with big time, I dismissed the notion and told myself to man up. Yet, it never truly went away and eventually I realised that I was watching the weather forecast during the week in the hope that it would rain and the game would be cancelled, so I quit. To me, competition negates a very deep and innate sense of equalness with others that in truth cannot be ignored and manifests as tension whenever we go against it. Mentally we can deny it or attempt to alter it somehow, but this truth comes from somewhere deeper within us all and for sure, will become apparent to us all sooner or later.

372. Jane this is a great example of how driven we can be and although your example seems extreme to me now, in the past I would have thought you were amazing and were showing women how it was done, and comparing myself to you as a role model. It just goes to show what we, men and women are prepared to do for recognition.

     1. Julie, this is a great point – in the past a lot of us would have thought this to be amazing and something to admire. Thanks to the life changing teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine countless people have become aware of the immense importance of honouring our bodies and not overriding what we feel.

373. I realized that exercising is to be done to support my body in being able to express the immense love that is there to be expressed.

374. What an incredible ‘before and after’ story. Knowing you and the sweetness that you are, Jane, I found it hard to compute seeing your name at the end of the article, but then, we have all chosen such wayward things to avoid our true purpose, so no surprise. Thank you for sharing and for listening to your body to expand into all you are today.

375. What an amazing account Jane of how we quite literally run away from something so profound – our own preciousness and delicacy. While we may not have run the races you have, many of us will have behaved the same, under many different guises. It was beautiful to read how you listened to your body speak and almost instantly stop the pace and the pursuit of what was outside you.

376. Overriding those inner feelings – “My body was shouting at me to stop” Yes that is something I feel many of us will recognise in ourselves. Our bodies never lie but those ever busy thoughts that kick in to push us to the limit, those adrenalin fuelled moments to override our natural gentle flow are very persuasive. Only for our amazing bodies to then show us clearly later the truth of what we have done. Thank you Jane for this awesome sharing. I now understand myself how truly connecting and listening to my body offers so much in return.

377. I was shocked to read you were running again 8 days after giving birth Jane, knowing what our bodies go through with birthing and the time to heal that is needed afterwards. Your story is a great example of coming to respect and honour your body which is so polar opposite to competition!

378. It is incredible the abuse our bodies will cope with for years until finally they make us stop and listen to their messages with some disease or illness…or…they will respond instantly when we choose to stop and honour them.

379. This is an amazing blog and so revealing in its honesty as most of us are involved in any form of competition, sometimes hidden behind another agenda. It is exposing what competition does to us and our bodies. Even intellectual competitions, which do not have this physical strain but have a different form of strain in the body and as such are harming equally.

380. Competition feeds separation, it always leaves us with a winner and a loser. Therefore if we are to see anything that leads to separation as evil, then competitive sport is indeed evil. With the push and drive to win we disconnect from our body and from the beauty and the glory of our inner essence which is harmony and love.

381. What a beautiful learning you have shared with us Jane ” No matter how much faster I ran, how many people I passed and how many medals I won, only to toss them in a drawer, it did not change who I was.” Nothing we do changes the love we already are, we are already enough, so great to read your blog, thank you.

382. Our bodies hold a wisdom far beyond our conscious thought and decision making. No matter what we have invested in for recognition, our bodies will show us the truth.

     1. Very well said Amanda – thank you.

383. This blog is incredible to read Jane. Time and time again ignoring the body and then making the decision to listen that one time that has now brought you this amazing transformation. Your blog reads like a race and the wonderful part about this is there are no winners just a deep understanding of how we can choose to continue to run the race or stay true to what we know has not part in our loving life choices when we connect to our body.

384. Validation, self worth and recognition; thank you Jane for highlighting these; they take us away from ourselves thus avoiding feeling the joy of who we truly are and the hurts that hold us back.
     I loved reading about your experiences as a competitive athlete, the awareness you developed and your amazing transformation.

385. Connecting to the Love we are is so more powerful and joyful than any severe exercising or being competitive can offer.

386. Jane it feels dreadful now to recall that I greatly hampered my breastfeeding in order to get back to work and to continue teaching yoga soon after having my son. How disconnected from my body and from my son must have I been in order to do the things that I did? It demonstrates to me how evil beliefs are that they can cause such a deep separation from life.

387. I have not run for many years now, like you Jane, I prefer gentle exercise I wonder how I would feel now if I tried to push my body in the way I did when I was 17. Fortunately I will not find out because I have no intention of trying.

     1. Good on you Fionacochran01, isn’t it a free feeling to not having to proof anything anymore, it is an inner spacious feeling, instead of the emptiness and seeking recognition.

388. Jane, I have also exerienced that feeling of all of a sudden realising that I don’t want to be doing what I’m doing, and that it just doesn’t feel right. I played netball for many many years. About 7 years ago, I started to take steps towards dealing with my hurts and looking after myself. Shortly into this process, I became increasingly sensitive to aggressive behaviour, which is interesting because I was always quite aggressive myself. The netball court started to feel like a battle ground and I no longer enjoyed the pushing and shoving from my opponents, something I used to very much enjoy and accept as part of the game. I tried overriding it a few times, and eventually had to stop playing, because it just didn’t feel true anymore. I loved the game, and I really enjoyed playing with friends and for fun, the competition part was easy to let go of…but when my opponents were aggressive, all the fun was lost and it just felt unnecessary.

     1. Isn’t it incredible that what we used to feel or do that felt fine at the time can then seem so unnatural once we have truly started to re-connect to ourselves. I used to feel big boned and clumsy, not liking or loving my body at all, recently over the last few weeks I have felt a tenderness, delicateness and petiteness within me that I have never felt before. It has shocked me a little bit, I wonder if I let go, appreciate and accept the tender woman that I really am what else will be revealed to me. Whilst writing this I can also see how it is very much about control, in how I have wanted to be in control of me, my life and my body .. when really this control is just stopping me from surrendering to who I really am.

389. Wow Jane, my jaw dropped when I read about you running only 8 days after giving birth. I can absolutely imagine the attention you would have received from your fellow runners with what would have been seen as such an enormous and inspiring achievment. Yet the body doesn’t lie, and within moments, you felt something in your body tell you it didn’t want to be pushed. Amazing. I can absolutely related to overiding what my body is telling me. I do it almost everyday with one thing or another. It’s painful to feel the consequences, especially when I can see how clearly I am presented with a choice to choose differently and be more honouring of myself. Thanks so much for sharing this story.

390. I can relate to so much of what you have written, as I ran competitively at school. I had created my own tactics of how I was going to beat my competitors (who were often my friends) by being very consistent with my pace and then a huge push and sprint at the end. I pushed my body so hard that I gave myself an asthma attack and was gasping for breath afterwards. It felt worth it though because it brought me recognition in an area of sports (athletics) that I had never excelled in. I’m 5’2 in height so it’s fairly unsurprising that the high jump and long jump were not for me but I did not see that I still felt less because I was not ‘good enough’ and pushed myself hard to get the recognition where I could.

     1. That reminded me Fionacochran01, that as a child and under 5ft, that I was called whip-it-quick as my grandfather said I ran like a whippet! I was really speedy gonzales and nobody went past me until one day a girl appeared from nowhere and overtook me, having trained with a well known runner at a stadium nearby! I decided that meant training and gladly let her enjoy the first place. I thought at the time it was laziness but maybe it was the true wisdom of a child!

391. This is a great sharing Jane in how we are willing to push our bodies regardless of how they feel, simply because we give our needs more attention. Even though this blog is about exercise it can be relevant to any aspect or time in our lives where we have pushed through for recognition or to feel better about ourselves.

392. What an awesome discovery you have made Jane and what immense value it offers others when you share from this understanding … You are in the perfect profession!

     1. Well said Suzanne – it is not about judging whether or not this was ‘wrong’, but appreciating the incredible value of this honest and deeply reflected sharing. Truly inspiring.

393. I am a little stunned reading this Jane wow running after giving birth 8 days earlier – that is quite something! I literally can’t imagine how sore your breasts must have been! Having never been a runner even when I was a teenager and very fit it is really interesting to read what people get out of it. I was highly competitive so can relate to the game plan aspect but I always hated how it felt to run. It amazes me how we are so adept at overriding our bodies and use our minds to run the show at the expense of how we feel. Awesome that you have left that well and truly in the past!

     1. Absolutely Vanessa, ‘It amazes me how we are so adept at overriding our bodies and use our minds to run the show at the expense of how we feel’, running feels awful in my body, whenever I have tried it every step has been painful, so I did not take it up. I did however take up quite an extreme form of yoga, i fell for the list of benefits for each stretch and position and so listened to this rather than what my body was saying, which was that these yoga sessions were too long and too painful and that the stretches actually just hurt.

394. Wow Jane, I was in shock reading the fact you raced 8 days after giving birth, that’s inconceivable to me, knowing how I felt at around that time in my life. What a beautiful account of the change that happened though and the fact you now feel great simply by honouring your body’s needs rather than forcing it to serve an agenda (at enormous expense).

395. Jane that is so beautiful what you have shared. This extreme and competitiveness feels so harsh for the body.. and for sure when you mentioned you continued with this sport kick when you were pregnant. This proves to me that this competition drill is not so innocent, but actually quiet addictive. So what you share is crucial, if we do not allow ourselves to stop in our tracks, we do not even feel what we are really doing, just like you have shared with us.. I can feel the real value of stopping, feeling and claim that certain choices (such as these extreme sporting) are not true support for your body. That is quiet contrary, as it always seemed that sporting is good for you. Well , like you shared, always feel what is right for your body and not from our mind.

     1. Addictive is spot on Danna. Competition is addictive for sure, well said.

        1. Absolute and addiction always harms equally. Therefore we have to look at the harm it does, not the nice procedure it looks like; such as competitive sports etc. Looks good, but that does not tell us that it is true! Are we waiting at the wrong queue?

     2. Beautifully expressed Danna. We have been taught so much about how sport is a part of a healthy lifestyle and that competition is healthy too. These are things that the mind enjoys and pushes the body to perform to its detriment. Exercise doesn’t have to be straining if it is done with a regard for how the body is feeling and when we take competition out of exercise, it becomes a much more nurturing activity.

        1. Yes Jinya, absolute, I am doing fitness at the moment, where I find it very supportive to do exercises that my body is actually enjoying, such as stretching, lifting weights (about 2/3 kilo) just like my body is feeling without going to the extremes of pain or not able to breath, that is so important. Every time when I train I make sure I am connected to myself and feel where my body is at: tired, fit, sore, vital, etc. And then I will always feel into which exercise I will do, and check with my body what is needed for me , not what my mind want, but I learn to let my body speak. At times where I had chosen to do exercise from my head, my body will be definitely let me know, that it was too much – and then I will experience muscle aches or something real pain and not be able to move certain parts of my body as good. These moments I really stop and feel what It was that I had over ride. Most of the time this would be : not have listened to the signals that my body were sending out; such as ; letting me know when to stop, letting me know if an exercise was too much for me etc. etc. So am I aware that I learn from my body, not my mind, as the mind is not that clever, as my body always seem to win! (in a good way).

     3. What I find Interesting Danna, is how we can override our bodies, loud and clear messages with our minds, even to the point where we may be experiencing pain, and as the expression goes, ‘every cell in my body didn’t want to do it’, but still we manage to push our body’s to achieve something. Where does this message to override our bodies actually come from, and what cell in our bodies are telling us to do it?

        1. Very good questions Thomas Scott. As your answer reveals to us, it might be more than our body that we can listen to. There must be a certain quality of thought/impulse from which we act. This may also prove to us that this is why one day we can choose to do something, which normally we would not? It all depends on what we are choosing. If I may give an example: we can choose to breathe being more still within ourselves, or we can breathe when we are rushing. The quality of our thoughts would be influenced by this choice: if the latter, we could get hundreds of chaotic and quick thoughts. To me, we could all go on an adventure and actually explore why we are doing certain things that are not loving for us, being curious and open to see what is really going on and what choices in fact we are making.

     4. Great points Danna, it is always so important to stop and feel into everything, as no matter how it is packaged (such as being good for our wellbeing and health) if it requires you to go into effort and push and away from what feels true for you and your body then to me it can only be harming and not healing. Our body is our biggest ally, if we listen to what it expresses we can never go wrong.

     5. Great point Danna – ‘this competition drill is not so innocent, but actually quite addictive’… Those who are addicted to drugs, alcohol or sex are always highlighted as a ‘wrong’ in society, but no one bats an eyelid when athletes tear their muscles apart during events, or when bones are broken in something like boxing. Sport can be used in just the same way as those other escapes, but people still think it is ‘great’ entertainment and activity.

        1. Absolutely agree Susie, and the thing is that most of evil hides beyond ‘good’ and ‘nice’, therefore we should pay more notice too to where evil hides and what does truly harms our world.

396. I would have said I wasn’t competitive but when in a team and the whistle blows I’m as as anything. I never could fathom the change I clocked I’m myself, I would override every feeling to not to let the team down and be the winners. Now my knees remind me of the overriding abuse I put them and my body through but it also reminds me of the mini wars we had on the court are in the same energy we fight on the battlefield when we separate against another brother.

     1. Great link, Merrilee, if we are prepared to compete against another in sport we are part of the same behaviour that can fight against another in war. Anything that holds us divided feeds separation, and only there can we do anything against another.

397. Being the best at something seems to be an inner drive that constantly asks us to forgo that inner knowing that crushing another in any way feels terrible and is no way supportive of the harmony we all want to live with.

     1. Lee, this is so true, ‘Being the best at something seems to be an inner drive that constantly asks us to forgo that inner knowing that crushing another in any way feels terrible’, reading your comment I can feel how we would have to be so separate to another and so hard not to feel this crushing of another person, i can feel how pointless it is to triumph over someone else, and yet this competition and being the best at something is really encouraged at schools and in sports.

     2. If we need for another to be less, so we can feel worthy, that is a clue to the fact that we are not connected to the loveliness each of us are.

        1. Yes Heather, and given we are not educated on this as children and in most cases taken away from this simple fact then we are left under the false illusion that life is about what we can get out of it and what we can be recognised for.

     3. I agree Lee, we are constantly asked to forgo the truth of the effect of competing with or hurting another but in fact we are as deeply affected as the person we are crushing, we can pretend we are not but we DO feel it, and our bodies carry the effect.

398. Wow, what a story… I used to exercise a lot as well, and I loved the feeling of strength and power I got. Because I used to be a professional dancer, of course I received a lot of recognition as well, by being one of the strongest dancers. Like you, one day ( it was a slow development) I could not do it anymore.. My body didn´t want to get hard for this anymore and since then I stopped my professional career as a dancer. And I don´t miss it in this way…

     1. This is profound Steffihenn ‘Like you, one day ( it was a slow development) I could not do it anymore.. My body didn´t want to get hard for this anymore and since then I stopped my professional career as a dancer.’ and just like that you let go of a glamorous career in honour of your body.

        1. And I never regret it 🙂

     2. Yes Steffihenn, I can relate. I searched high and low for my ‘sport’ of choice. From running to swimming I eventually discovered yoga and became a bit of a fanatic doing yoga every day. when my instructor would travel up north where I lived we’d go to the beach together to do a sequence and pose away with our bodies upside down…. and get noticed and recognised. And then slowly, the more I connected to my body by changing my lifestyle, the fancy yoga poses started to not feel so good. My body would feel harsh and hard. And I don’t miss it any longer either, and my body feels far more amazing and tender now than it ever did during my yoga days.

        1. Yoga is such a phenomenon in todays society- I know so many people practising Yoga. I used to be a professional dancer and many of my old colleagues are now Yoga teachers.For me it feels yoga is just another kind of modality to push and harden the body like the dancing before+ the recognition you receive by being one of the most stretched and fittest. On the outside it seems to be different but indeed it is energetically exactly the same.

399. Unbelievable story Jane, (breastfeeding on the run!) thank you for sharing. Your shift from competitive running to exercising in connection is remarkable, honest and offers a ‘stop’ moment for anyone to consider the reasons that make them competitive.

     1. Yes a remarkable story. I can feel the stark contrast between feeding a baby in the connection and bonding this brings to the racing off down the road! A true stop moment in the asking of why and what is it about competition that would make me want to do this?

     2. Yes, “breastfeeding on the run” struck me as unbelievable too. The drive needed to override the needs of a newborn baby (as well as yourself of course) is counter intuitive to every fibre of a woman’s being. Such is the strength of the need for recognition that develops when we are not met for who we truly are as children and we develop ways to make people see us by what we do. This is a very sad state of affairs in essence and in so much that it so very prevalent amongst humanity.

400. I enjoyed the feeling jogging gave me, especially when I had a high level of fitness. I was however tricked by this lovely feeling and the post jog glow that doesn’t last long, maybe a few hours, it was more what the jog was doing to my body afterwards. I was depleting myself because I would ebb and flow between being alert then feeling quite tired and exhausted. I was up and down and in the down and tired moments it was easy to have a coffee or find something for a pick me up, and so the roller coast ride would continue.

401. Those early parts of this blog, I noticed my body cringing and my mouth a little screwed up and just feeling how horrible to treat ones body this way, during such a nurturing period of one’s life. And yet this is taken as being courageous or overcoming burdens – the burden of giving birth – how crazy and driven is that?! So it was naturally beautiful to read the unfolding story of how the body won out in the end. I have known several athletes where it has not won out, and instead been worn out, so this has been a joy to read and confirming of the different choices available to us when we become honest and deepen our awareness.

     1. I love this: ‘the body won out before it got worn out’…and then realising it is never too late…even if there is an element of ‘worn out’, when we start to listen the transformations are incredible.

402. I played squash for over 20 years – my whole social life was based around the squash club. I was never particularly brilliant at it but enjoyed playing in the club leagues and meeting fellow players socially. I even played while I was pregnant until I couldn’t get the backhand past the bump. I was overweight despite the regular exercise but at the time I enjoyed playing so continued. Now my body is suffering because my knees are not in good condition. I exercise more gently now and don’t take part in any competition, and that feels great.

     1. If you wrote down the history of competition for every person, and tallied up at the end of their lives what value it had brought, were they kinder, more loving, more caring, the answer would be without doubt “no”. Yet competition is so highly regarded as healthy. Perhaps it is time to question this norm.

        1. Any form of competition is a cry for recognition from a person who, on the inside, is disconnected and hurting, I agree Heather competition has been highly regarded as healthy but we can no longer go along with this, it is time to question this norm.

     2. I’ve recently heard of children as young as six being introduced to squash. Need I say more.

403. Jane what an incredible turn around you have had with how you treat and view yourself and exercise. It’s a great example of how far we can push our bodies and never question why. When we seek outside ourselves for the love that already exist within, one will only find a band aid that never truly heals.

404. Competitive sport seems to be addictive. The addiction to winning a race in the case of running, or beating other people to the finish line for a moment of seeming glory and recognition, only then to return to normal day-to-day life which may seem boring and flat in comparison to the race. And so, the person is looking to their next fix and the never ending cycle of elation, validation and recognition in the race followed by the return to the emptiness that is always there when we are not connected to our true essence.

     1. Addictive is a great word for the continual cycle of needing to win to feel good. It feeds a high into the body that must be re-fed ongoing, but never actually satisfies.

        1. Yep, no different to drugs if we are really honest. The sad irony being that our society condemns illegal drugs and celebrates and encourages competitive sport. But both are driven from the same longing for recognition and both will keep ourselves wanting for more and more of something that instead of bringing us true love, actually deeply harms us.

     2. Very true Sandra. What is driving the addiction is the longing to be told we’re great, to be something because we don’t feel enough or worthy without that recognition. There is no way if we were connected to our essence which is pure love that we would make ourselves run or compete in any way against another. It’s simply not part of our true make-up. That’s one of the biggest lies we’ve been sold: That competition is natural and healthy. It is not. It’s a default mechanism for a society that’s lost its way and is desperately seeking itself within the emptiness it has created for itself.

        1. True Katerina, just as taking drugs is not natural or healthy neither is competition, both are used to numb the feeling of emptiness which can never be abated, so hence the addiction, the need for more. We as a society have definitely lost our way and only a return to our true essence will bring what we are all seeking, a return to our own true connection and brotherhood.

        2. Katerina, I saw first hand today how competition separates people in a work meeting. It was a discussion about being first to market with a product to trump a competitor who had announced when they were going to launch their similar product. It felt awful. It was a cold and calculated ‘I’m out to win no matter what’ statement that left the whole room feeling cold and unmotivated.

     3. This is great point Sandra, exercise can become an addiction to many once in that cycle one will do anything and ignore the messages from the body in order to get the next “fix” connecting with our essence and allowing us to feel what’s there to felt without leaving it is the only way to go.

405. It’s an amazing blog to read. When you see the facts laid out so barely – the proof of what we do to ourselves – it makes for very uncomfortable reading. Surely no-one reading this blog, hearing the lengths to which you push yourself can condone competition? It’s a brilliant blog and a stark reflection for many us.

     1. Yes Otto, it really does lay it out bare, and I love the honesty Jane brings to her story. I can look back and squirm at the hardness I had to put my body in to deal with many of the sporting conquests I took on. It really is amazing what we will do to our bodies in the name of competition and sport.

     2. Unfortunately many women would herald breast feeding and running a race as a triumph! What a well expressed blog to “out” the fact that this is not, and could never be a loving choice.

        1. Would it be too contentious of me to mention the marathon races to raise money for breast cancer…?!

        2. Not at all, and it gives me a strange feeling to see Jane running short after her birth of her child. The closed down connection to her body has allowed this self abusive behaviour. Congratulation Jane that you have made the change for yourself, back to your truth living your way.

        3. Absolutely Heather, in this day and age where women are expected to be “super women” a mother breastfeeding her young baby and running a race would be heralded as a triumph, sadly this only creates comparison and more competition as more and more women feel they must be able to do “everything” to be seen as successful, and gain the recognition they need from outside themselves.

406. ‘ My enjoyment of exercising in connection far outweighs any of the buzz I got when I used to compete.’ This is the same for me Jane. I was more in the lack of exercise camp but I love to exercise my body now.

407. You say Jane that everything you was doing was to gain –
     “Validation Self-worth and Recognition” and if more of us could get honest it would probably be the same. I sure know it was the same in my life.
     Knocking out the need to be different, be recognised and identified by what I do has been a long journey for me. Even now, most of the time I will question myself and say why did you do that, if I feel even a tinge of “me me” in there wanting something back.
     Where things have really shifted is when I am plugged in to what I call ‘the field’ which is where Serge Benhayon lives from day in and day out and simply GETTING ON WITH IT. By that I mean using my body as a compass to direct me in my day so if my body reacts or feels disturbed whether it is an email or something I just ate, I have enough awareness now to question it and not just pretend its ok to not feel what I just felt.
     Thanks to Serge Benhayon my new way of Living like this has become normal.

     1. I agree and know very well what you mean Bina. I gave up trying to be perfect and that changed so much in my life. Knowing now, that I will never be perfect is making everything simple and easy. Staying aware to scan the body at the end of my day and to see what was good and what was not so good in a easy way helps me to be not judgemental to myself, simplicity is awesome.

408. This article reminded me the feeling of those little triumph that lasted few minutes and then back to feeling emptiness again when I was competing. There was no appreciation for the body and the focus was on recognition. Thank you for sharing as I can appreciate myself today along with you as how far we’ve come. There is nothing that is worth trashing our bodies.

     1. Haresh your comment reminded me of those little ‘triumphs’ over another that we can have ever so subtly, and sometimes not so subtly, every day. This doesn’t just play out in competitive sport, the drive to be better than another is pervasive everywhere, fuelled by our choice to live a lesser way than is true, and then longing for that emptiness to be filled up with recognition from outside of us.

        1. The following sentence Katerina from your comment “Those little ‘triumphs’ over another that we can have ever so subtly, and sometimes not so subtly, every day” points to the truth that competition does not have to be played out in the sporting arena, it goes on everywhere,every day. Each time we feel even a little triumphant over another there is competition and comparison, creating a lesser way of being for ourselves and all those that we are competing with.

        2. I so agree Rosemary: ‘Each time we feel even a little triumphant over another there is competition and comparison, creating a lesser way of being for ourselves and all those that we are competing with.’ I have noticed this year that those little triumphs cannot be done any more as they hurt me. It is just not worth it! Only Love!

        3. Yes Lyndy, it’s just not with it……I agree Only Love!

     2. So true Haresh that instant gratification does not work and only distracts us from what is truly going on within. That the unease of our emptiness that we sense drives us to seek an instant relief. But as with you, I also have come a long way and have learned that this is a vicious cycle of seeking and pursuit that ends in exhaustion and no true fulfillment. As when we choose to be honest with the uneasiness we feel we can then address and heal that (the choices we have made) which has created this emptiness. With which we can then deepen our connection to who we truly are and live in more appreciation of the true fulfillment that this loving connection brings.

     3. Absolutely agree Haresh, there is absolutely nothing that is worth trashing our bodies for. It is quite sad really that we, humanity, puts so much effort into competitive sport, encouraging us to ‘battle it out’ with one another, person to person, nation to nation. Any triumphs gained soon fizzle out, leaving that dark empty feeling inside us again. Learning to connect to our inner warmth and glory far outweighs the triumph of winning a race, as it is a feeling that grows with each day of tender nurturing and can be shared with all we meet, regardless of nation, gender or ability.

409. My biggest opponent was me. I had to be good at my chosen sport and I had to be better than the last time I participated. Winning a game or passing a grading was a short lived confirmation that I was good.

     1. I can relate to this – ‘My biggest opponent was me’! When getting exam results I often feel pretty frustrated at myself if I get a few marks less than the time before – this is the exact same as competing with others as we are still looking outside of ourselves for confirmation that we are ‘good’, ‘clever’ or ‘fast’ in the case of running.

        1. It’s an emotional drug that gives us a quick fix to stop us from feeling our emptiness – our separation from ourselves.

     2. Yes, I can remember at school, being good at sport always gave me attention from my teacher. Same time I could feel the jealousy from the others – that felt not nice.

        1. All the marathons, good marks at school and being really good at something always produces separatism. Being apart of Universal Medicine, we are all aspiring to connect to ourselves and bring out our inner love for us and others. Never is there separatism as we are not competing with each other we are all working together to help bring each and everyone of us up to our next level of awareness.

     3. Mary I can really feel what you are expressing and it is sooooo true. We are fighting with ourselves or someone else. But why are we fighting? Why do we think we have to live this way when deep down we know who we are, and we know the love inside of us?

410. Thank you for your very honest sharing, Jane. It brought back memories of my own. I have never been as competitive with others, as I have with myself. I remember pushing myself relentlessly on my road bike to the point where my body felt like a ‘well oiled machine’. I honestly thought I was taking care of my body, by pushing myself to reach higher levels of fitness and endurance. As soon as I discovered Universal Medicine and allowed myself to reconnect to my body, I became very aware of the utter illusion I had been living in and the complete disregard I’d had for my body. I too can feel how there was a need in me to ‘push myself harder’ in order to feel my own self worth. It was a bit like a punishment and a reward at the same time.

     1. Alison, I relate to that “punishment and reward’ feeling that you talk about, and definitely was something that was coming from the lack of self worth and felt that my body had to be sore and hard in order to prove to myself that I was fit and better than others. Thanks to Serge Benhayon I now too enjoy keeping fit in a loving way and my body loves it!

411. “I could feel that running did not feel good in my body, that by competing I was keeping myself separate and in comparison to everyone else, and that while I was running, my focus became very narrowed so I could not truly enjoy my body or the beauty in nature around me.” Its amazing what we will put our bodies through to ‘achieve’ or to get ‘recognition’, even when we can feel that it does not do us any good and the body is sending us messages to not do it. And how much are we missing out on as you say Jane, the beauty of our own bodies and of the beauty that surrounds us everyday. Unfortunately it takes a big stop for many of us to make changes in our lives, rather than listening to the many messages that our bodies are continually giving us.

412. What you have shared is so powerful, thank you. I really connected to where you say ‘No matter how much faster I ran, how many people I passed and how many medals I won, only to toss them in a drawer, it did not change who I was.’ I think this really sums up anything in life – its doesn’t matter how well you do at school, at sports, in your career or social or family life, it will not change who you are and at the end of the day when you are alone, do you feel happy and content with nothing but you? No TV, alcohol , computer games, work etc etc? We champion sports as an amazing thing to be involved with, we champion doing well in life and succeeding, but perhaps it’s time for a new perspective on what true success is – is it medals and trophies and money, or is it having a truly loving family, and connecting with everyone you meet, and having real deep relationships with your friends. Is it feeling vital when you wake up, and taking enjoyment in what you do because you know its you doing it. Is it having respect for yourself and others, and being completely happy in and with yourself in your body. Perhaps if this kind of success was championed, we would have a lot less mental health and self worth issues, we would have less suicides from people not able to cope and not feeling truly met. We would have less burnt out people on the rat race of life, and we would have more happy whole families and communities. To me, that would be true success.

     1. Great point Rebecca on how we have tried so hard to be better then others when all we have to do is stop competing and just be ourselves, that is the ultimate prize that awaits within us all.

     2. Rebecca I agree with all you have said, so why is it in the very first place we seek outside of ourselves for recognition and acceptance? From what I have learnt through Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine it is because of the lack of connection we have with ourselves, looking outside instead of within. This is what needs to be brought into place (truly re-connecting with ourselves) so everyone now and future generations can start to live in a more loving and harmonious way.

413. I can relate very much here to what you have written Jane Tourvaney. I used to race as an elite athlete in running and was very competitive. Competition was in everything, debates with my friends, walking up mountains, academic pursuits, with colleagues at work, even when I was on my own I would find a way to compete with myself. It did feel like a constant never ending search for self-validation and recognition from others but was never enough. There is a hardness, iciness, anxiousness and arrogance that you have to develop to be competitive which cuts you off from others and really hurts the physical body.

414. The image of you breast feeding on the start line as the start gun is going off made me chuckle… it is amazing sometimes when we look back at choices we made in the past and see how ridiculous they were, but at the time seemed perfectly ok and normal. Such is the power of the mind once it is held in a certain belief or a certain need for something, we can sell ourselves any old story and completely over-ride what we are really feeling.

415. Thank you so much Jane for sharing your story. I could feel the intense drive that was pushing you to compete and to win over others. Don’t we all have this to some degree ? Certainly there are many of us who choose not to feel what is happening in our bodies and even ignore their messages. I love how your body showed you and how you listened and allowed yourself to surrender to a more natural way of being with yourself- of actually connecting with yourself. Knowing you as I do I would never have believed you could be so very hard on yourself. And yet I can see that, with the help of Universal Medicine, I too have become a lot more honouring of my body and appreciative of the quality of connection that I have with myself.

416. “As I ran I could feel that my body was not enjoying this at all. It was not to do with fitness, it was to do with how I felt. I found I did not want to compete, I did not want to overtake anyone and I did not want to push my body into doing something it clearly did not want to do.” Great that you eventually listened to your body Jane. For many years I totally ignored my body and its messages – as many do – because I didn’t want to give up what my head was telling me I needed to do – for recognition – and as an escape it stopped me from really feeling what was underneath and there to be felt, which was the way through to healing.

417. So true Jane – ‘for how would I need these things when I can feel the fullness of me’ and this says it all. While we search outside of ourselves we are forever needing something to replace the beauty that is within. It is a strange and complex world when we are hooked into a system that requires us to drain ourselves in it’s service when all along we have the answers within. When we come back to honouring the essence within we are complete and content and no longer have to join the search.

418. Reading this blog brought back a memory of when I was a teenager, I loved athletics, won every school track and field event I entered and awarded Victor Ludorum (overall champion medal) every year I entered. In my eyes I was not competing, simply enjoying sprinting, long and high jumping and running relays. It came easy to me. The day came when I was selected to compete at national championships and everything became serious, regular after-school training sessions with an emphasis on winning and achieving times. I just didn’t get it and something died inside. Deep down I was never a true competitor, driven to win at all costs. No surprises to hear I didn’t win any prizes at national championships and only competed a couple of times. It’s only now and on reflection, I can appreciate what happened and why.

419. It is quite sad Jane the lengths we can go to, to fill the void of the lack of connection we have with ourselves and strive ceaselessly to gain the recognition from without rather than connecting to the divinity awaiting within.

420. Wow Jane, how you pushed your self in competing and exercise after just having a baby really shows the extreme that the need for exercise and numbing can take one. What a journey and what an amazing joyful outcome and where you have come to from this. A true healing in listening to your body and lovingly appreciating all you are. Thank you for sharing this so honestly.

421. I used to be a super keen long distance runner, when I was 12 I discovered I had the ability to run for longer and faster than anyone else my age – I was finally recognised. But bigger than being recognised was the huge sense of relief I got from literally running away from the tensions I felt in life. Thank God for Serge Benhayon who showed me how to stand steady instead of run, and truly cherish myself.

422. Wow Jane – this is absolutely incredible. Sports and running are seen as something to be proud of – being fit and being competitive is seen as optimal health. But the truth is, competition in sport can be dangerously addictive.
     If I am honest, I have found it easier to give up my addiction to sugar ad coffee, than my addiction to competition. I have always seen exercise as a way to get me looking better than others, to feel better, to be stronger – and the sense of ‘beating’ people was a little reward to validate my worth. And if someone was fitter than me, I would beat myself up. What you expose here is the huge weight we carry when we give our power away to addictions such as this. And wow what a change from the day you listened to your body. That is jus so gorgeous to read and for me to feel the truth behind my choices.

423. I was never a competitive person but as I read your blog, I connected with some of what you shared. I was once a runner and ran from one New Age workshop to another, attending workshops became my prizes as I restlessly searched for that elusive something. When I was introduced to Serge Benhayon and Universal medicine l learned a simple truth: that I was the precious prize, not anything outside of me and I had no need to look any further.

424. Nearly my whole life I ran the game of being competitive in many ways and areas of my life. In sports, being strong and brave, fast, intelligent, sexy and so on… And it was always to not feel the lack of connection, I had to myself and to others. So being in a competition was a kind of connection-substitute, I felt I had control over. But it was an empty game with no winners. “Winning” at the end was just a confirmation of being alone and separate to myself and everyone else. As not winning was too. (haha) Once I read in a book, where someone was writing about Aborigines who have no sense for any competitive play. It is absurd to them, they feel how unnatural it is. They love to play with each other for example playing with the see-saw, instead of having a race. I loved to read that and it was a wake-up moment for me many years ago. And I started to drop out my “race of competition”, to reveal a true connection to myself and others. It is a work in progress and I am still discovering layers of more subtle competitive behavior, but today I know then that it is time to re-connect and open up. Thanks to the presentation and living example of Serge Benhayon and his teachings.

425. Welcome home Jane. You captured well the ugliness and futility of competitive running and insecurities that lie beneath the drive to win.

426. An absolute cracker of a blog Jane, I got so much from it as I am sure many others will too. I have not been a runner, but nevertheless, I pushed my body hard in yoga classes and over-rode the fact that I felt this was not very loving, but look at my body, it was all toned up, and that was the trap I fell into, because I had always has body issues. I decided to have a break from the hard driven classes of yoga I was attending, and never went back. Now I walk and swim and my body so appreciates that choice to be more gentle and respectful of it.

427. Reading your article Jane I can feel how all of the competitive sports similar to all of the extreme sports that I participed in when I was younger were pretty pointless, as you say here, ‘I remember wondering just for moment why I had chosen to do this’. I chose to jump out of planes with s parachute, push myself off road cycling, and bunjee jump, many times I was scared and particularly with the bunjee jumping there would be this feeling of why put myself through this, I actually do not really want to do this, but in my head it all seemed part of the challenge at the time, making myself do things that are scary when my body is screaming no! Nowadays I listen to my body more rather than my head and do not do any of these extreme sports, I simply enjoy walking and swimming and love how gentle and enjoyable these are and how my body no longer has to be pushed to do them.

428. “No matter how much faster I ran, how many people I passed and how many medals I won, only to toss them in a drawer, it did not change who I was.” When I read this line I could just understand more of the silliness of this, feeling better about yourself just because we pass someone else… no more no less, yet with sports it is what is the made a huge important thing, though it is still just passing another person.

429. Thank you Jane for sharing how you gave up the extremes and emptiness of competing and focussed on connection when exercising gently which then continues to support you through your day. I used to swim in the same way as you ran constantly focussing on the next person to overtake as I did my 20 lengths as quickly as possible regardless of how my body felt. For many years after having my daughter I exercised rarely even though I could feel that my body feels better for having some exercise and it is only recently that I have started a gentle exercise programme and am loving it and find that it sets me up beautifully for my day.

430. Its incredible how we can ignore our bodies just to compete and feel better about ourself. Running does only serve this purpose, as it is something we are not naturally made to do for such long distances it is true abuse of the body. While exercising in connection is there to feel our body and support it in our everyday lives.

431. Brilliant blog Jane – so glad you have shared this. I wonder why there aren’t more comments on it?
     How powerful that the all the signals your body was giving you finally were listened to, and that you were willing to see through the emptiness of competing, beating another, and pushing the body so, to what was truly going on. I can’t help but feel how awful it is when any of us, for whatever ‘reason’, seek to gain recognition, a ‘win’, fame of approval at the expense of another – and in competition with another. What purpose does this serve us, in any way? I can think of none that truly make sense.
     Your writing here can be applied to every field of human endeavour, be it writing, music, the arts, education, business, raising a family… Such an honest look at what drives us so is most deeply needed, that we may actually all learn how to work together, and relate in ways that truly support and evolve us, rather than separate and harm.

432. Your story Jane shows that it is remarkable what we will do to gain recognition and acceptance from others, whether it is with sport, academia, being rebellious etc. This is a plague that we have in society and you have just shown us how to deal with it and that is to stop overriding what we are feeling and get to the root cause of the deep tension we hold in our bodies from not allowing ourselves to express the love that we are.

433. I really enjoyed being competitive. It gave me a break from how I felt and the point was the competing. Winning was nice, too and losing wasn’t as bad as the desolation I felt when I wasn’t competing. Therefore, compared to the desolation, competition is great. Compared to feeling great, competition is painful and pointless.

     1. This made me chuckle Christoph. Often we trick ourselves by what we think feels good, but when we step back and look at the bigger picture this feeling is nothing compared to the true joy and love felt when living with simplicity and honesty.

        1. Yes, Jenny, the key is that feeling the rush of the adrenalin and therefore the numbness from feeling bad was what I considered to be ‘feeling good’. The fake feeling good was the best I knew and hence I valued it.

     2. I liked being the best as well- how lonely it actually felt to have the need to let others feel less and having the impression and need to be more powerful than them.

        1. Our true power comes in being ourselves no matter what the situation, and knowing that the essence of each of us is always equal to that of everyone else.

        2. We were not created to compete- it hurts deeply in our bodies and to not feel this we have to get hard..But actually you have to be hard before to compete in the first place- so what hurt do you avoid to feel….

434. Jane I’ve never been a fan of running (it just wasn’t my sport of choice) but now I get its appeal in terms of validating a person through recognition which could then be used to boost self-worth.

     What strikes me is how self-perpetuating the cycle is – how any doubts that competitive running wasn’t loving for the bodies of those running or reflected the opposite of brotherhood to everyone were ignored in favour of receiving recognition. Indeed, the more committed those taking part the more recognition was bestowed upon them – only serving to fuel competition: greater investment in order to be the ‘best’ because only the top few get the best recognition.

     It’s a great example of how unloving choices need constant feeding otherwise we’d stop and be able to feel what supports our bodies. It’s great to consider how, at any moment we can break these unloving cycles with our body’s awareness, just like you choose to. Awesome to read.

435. A great expose on the harm to our bodies from running and competitive sport, Jane, thank you. I remember cramping really badly 10 kms from the finish of a 100 km cycle ride. I had to keep going as there was no-one around who could assist me and there were no mobile phones back then!
     That was the last long cycle ride I did. At long last, after many years of pushing myself with sport, I finally listened to the (at times, screaming) messages from my body and told my brain/mind to back off!

436. Thanks for sharing Jane, this is a great story. I was shocked as I read how you raced when your baby was only 8 days old and could imagine the impact the running would have on your body after such a major event such as giving birth. It is amazing what we can do and how we push our bodies even though we get very loud signals. I love how you honestly share how you just overode what you were feeling.

     1. Yes I felt the same Rosie. It is so shocking to read what we can do to our bodies when we override our feelings. And I can feel I have overridden my feelings a lot as well in the past.

     2. Same here Rosie looking at this now it seems so unusual yet when I consider how I would push my body in the past, the things I would do to it despite all the signs not to it shows how strong some ideal, belief can be over the simplicity of honouring what is felt. It also shows me how addictive competition actually is.

        1. I can relate to what you say David. There have been times when caught up in the hectic pace of work , I ignored my body’s signals and believed it was weak to slow down, stop or take a day off. Now, I honour my body. I work long hours but have set boundaries, especially the time I go to bed, to make sure my body is fully rested and replenished for the next day.

437. Thanks for this great, descriptive blog Jane, which clearly demonstrates the madness and futility of competition, and that no matter how many times you win and toss the trophy in the drawer you still don’t experience true fulfillment, but have to keep going back again and again to re-trigger that mini-triumph over a fellow man being. Beautifully exposed!

     1. Absolutely Lyndy. Caught in such a game, when is ‘enough’ every truly ‘enough’? Jane has laid it out plain and bare that there is never ‘enough’ when we are striving so.
        In a world filled to the brim with competition, what ARE we truly doing to ourselves, and each other? There is no love in such behaviour at all. The honesty and truthfulness that Jane has shared here is the key to undoing it all, and restoring a rightful way of actually loving and truly supporting ourselves and each other.

438. One of my greatest wins ever has been to stop competing. The drive to keep beating a component in whatever sport, game or race was never fulfilling. Each time I would have a win, there was always another win to be had. The only thing it created in me was a separation within myself and a separation to every other opponent or team. I used to really enjoy meeting them afterwards or before and couldn’t understand that in the next instant it was all out push to tackle, beat and hurt another player. It was mainly the thoughts, not necessarily the actions, that surprised me the most.

     1. ‘One of my greatest wins ever has been to stop competing.’ This is such a beautiful statement Matthew.

        1. I agree Michelle, a beautiful statement. The continuous drive to compete in itself is exhausting the body.

     2. This is so cute. ‘One my greatest wins was to stop competing’. Apart from the absolute truth of what you have said, I also can really feel the appreciation of yourself in what you say. The energy of competition – fuelled by an emptiness, lack of self-worth inside ourselves – is amazing to observe. I can see it play out with me in even the simplest and smallest ways…..why am I reading the sports scores??…invariably it will be because I am not feeling the fullness of who I am, because on a good day I couldn’t care less – in fact I wouldn’t even have any clue what was going on in the world of sport.

     3. Yes I agree Matthew. People’s personas change drastically when competing. The loser is often left feeling furious and downtrodden. They say it’s not about the winning, so I wonder if it is more about not losing. It’s a lucky escape for the winner from feeling defeated. How crazy is it to set up a thing that confirms one to feel bad. Makes me wonder what things I have set up in my life that do that for me.

     4. I have always hated competition, and felt strangely uncomfortable with it to the point that I would rather lose at sports that deal with the stress of having to “beat” another. Although that might seem altruistic, I can see it was actually because I had pulled away from life, and from people.

439. Thank you for sharing your running days Jane. I used to run but it used to hurt my knees, so I eventually listened to my body and stopped and have never really had any problems with my knees since. “Over the past 8 years I have been learning to listen more to my body and to its constant communication with me. I deeply appreciate my body, how all the different parts work together to allow it to move and express itself.” I too am appreciating my body and listening to the reminders that it constantly sends me to look after and be more gentle with my body. Some messages I get to understand more quickly than others but each message gives me a deeper understanding of my connection and how I am with my body.

440. Such extremes that we go to in order to numb and gain recognition. Removing the child from the breast to run after the gun has sounded, is such a graphic representation of this. Then, such great change being felt deeply that one can only ever imagine will be long lasting: “I could feel that running did not feel good in my body, that by competing I was keeping myself separate and in comparison to everyone else, and that while I was running, my focus became very narrowed so I could not truly enjoy my body or the beauty in nature around me.”

441. I have not really been involved in competitive sport but I can relate to what you say Jane about the pushing of the body to achieve recognition and validation. In my case it has been through working extreme hours. Just recently I finished an 9 month stint of working 7 days a week plus 2 nights playing loud music into the wee hours. I don’t know why I thought I could do it .. no actually I do. It was an old pattern of needing to prove myself as being good enough, and to keep myself busy so I didn’t have to feel how exhausted I was and how lonely the pursuit of recognition/validation can be.
     For some reason I had to feel that bad again to finally slow down, honour my body and start to make different choices,.. not only about how much I work but how I am in my work. I’m learning to explore my days now with an allowing and an openness that is a far cry from the pushing and the driving. There is stuff there to feel as a result of past choices which is not always pleasant but the bigger picture is one of real expansion and connection with others which feels so wonderful.

442. So many of our choices in life can be to validate or achieve recognition from outside of us, when in truth we are missing the connection to our inner selves and the love that we are.

     1. I am so glad, that I could experience the sadness inside me, missing ME and needing to fill this hole with no end on the other side. It helped me to reveal the mechanism that were actually pushing me away from myself even further than I was anyway already.

        1. yes if we don’t allow ourselves to feel the sadness of missing ourselves and stay caught in the momentum of doing…not allowing ourselves to connect with the love that we are by simply ‘being’ us.

     2. A great reminder Victoria to bring the focus back within as it is from this connection to our inner selves that the need for external recognition falls away.

     3. I think you’re spot on Victoria, we can get very lost in seeking recognition or acceptance from others when really deep down we just miss being connected with ourselves and letting that love out.

     4. There is no race that can be won that brings the knowing and love of self.

        1. So true, and even the thought of racing against another from a point of love and connection does not compute.

443. I was in the no exercise camp for a long time after deciding I couldn’t stand it because I thought that it has to be pushing, punishing and working hard. All reaction of course. It had never occurred to me or shown to me that exercise could be something that was gentle and supportive to my body. Now I love it and the way that I exercise feels amazing in my body. I know that it’s the way that we exercise and move our body that is key.

     1. Yes I spent years not really exercising because I never considered that I could do it gently. When I joined a gym my focus was on getting round as quickly as possible in competition with myself. My heart rate shot up at an alarming rate so I was told to slow down but instead gave up because I didn’t enjoy it so couldn’t imagine spending longer in there!! Now I am doing a gentle exercise programme with weights which feels lovely and I listen to my body and let it show me how many repetitions are right for me on any particular day.

     2. I agree Jennifer, exercise is promoted as a tough, gruelling, push your body to your limits activity. If you haven’t sweated, you haven’t pushed yourself. Where in the general public is exercise promoted that it can feel amazing, keep you healthy and be very supportive to your body?

     3. Similar for me too Jennifer. The way I exercise and build strength in my body now is connecting with my body and feeling what is needed and not pushing it to the limit. It is a work in progress as at times I find myself working out a bit harder then I should.

     4. Its a whole new way of looking at exercise to see that moving the body can be gentle, and yet still bring great benefit, both physically and emotionally.

        1. Absolutely Heather. When we exercise in this way, we can appreciate the connection we have to our body and also the connections throughout our body, how everything works harmoniously to allow fluid movement. This is a totally different way to how I used to exercise but one that I have found is much more enjoyable, sustainable and has a positive effect on the rest of my day.

     5. I went from very full on exercise, mainly on my road bike, to doing nothing. Both were almost as bad as each other. I couldn’t stand not exercising at all, I felt so sluggish and heavy and whilst I was no longer ‘punishing’ my body, it still felt neglected. Now I’m ‘with my body’ when I exercise and I do as much, or little, as I feel on the day, there is no set routine and no goals, it’s just about taking care of my gorgeous self.

     6. ………and that the ‘Wellness’ experienced in the body and that glows and can be seen clearly by the observer offers something that is not seen or felt when one chooses the exercise for ‘Recognition, Applause or Achievement’. Being with the body in its movements is about appreciating what our body offers us and celebrating this.

444. It would be easy and socially so very ‘normal’ to applaud you on your achievements but once we start listening to the messages our body has for us, everything changes and what was ‘normal’ before seems utterly ludicrous and very self-punishing.

     1. I agree Gabriele – what I did take as a ‘normal’ more and more unveils as not normal (in the case of natural or true) at all. And with every veil I take down I can see more clearly, my body gets more respect and I get more vital. I have more space in my life without all those veils.

     2. So true Gabriele, when we begin to recognise that our bodies do not benefit by many of these activities, the only truly appropriate applause would be in response to the decision to stop running and start truly caring for oneself.

     3. When we look back and see the self loving changes we have made with our body, there is no way we could ever return to our old lifestyles. But if we were to tell someone who was about to run a marathon for recognition and identity that it was abuse to their body they would think we were Captain Crackers. It’s a personal journey that each and every one of us will take in our own time.

     4. Spot on Gabriele, it is so common to hear someone being applauded for completing some gruelling bike ride, run or other sporting activity when their body is rock hard, in pain and exhausted. But the focus seems to be on the achievement with no regard for how the person’s body is during or after the achievement.

        1. Well said Sandra Dallimore – “But the focus seems to be on the achievement with no regard for how the person’s body is during or after the achievement.” The question arises what have we really achieved when we ‘achieve’ something through abusing our bodies?!

        2. And this is part of the addiction…push, drive, achieve, get recognised or achieve a goal…feel the emptiness, start the cycle all over again until possibly an injury or illness brings a halt to the abuse of the body…but then how many people find a way around this halt with painkillers, anti-inflammatories or straps on the injury to be able to keep going? Would you keep driving a car with a flat tyre?

     5. I very much agree Gabriele. We are so used to this way of living that we do not question it but chime in in the championing of such achievements. But once we start to honestly bring our body into the equation the abuse and unloving ways we have with ourselves and our bodies are revealed.

     6. So true Gabriele, everything is set up to applaud and ‘ra-ra’ us on such achievements, to keep us in the loop of pushing our bodies hard just to get that moment of recognition. It is only when we start listening to the wisdom of our bodies that we can see the true picture and make different choices that are based on self love not self abuse.

     7. I have seen friends continue to run whilst still injured only to suffer a more long term injury that affects their ability to work. We see that with professional sports people as well and this is something that is cheered on by onlookers. Being ‘tough’ is no protection at all, from our body that is all about delivering the truth.

445. Thanks Jane, great blog. It is so simple really when we stop and feel our bodies, they are always the first to let us know the truth of the choices we are making.

446. Some great insights here. The way you originally ran and competed seemed to have little to do with supporting your body even though the body had to go along with it all. This is the lure of competition isn’t it, to forget all else except winning and defeating. I recently had a Sacred Esoteric Healing session that took me back to one of my first experiences with a sports competition as a child. Everything felt wrong about it in my body as child and it was my first real experience of feeling completely separate to and disconnected from everyone around me. It was literally like fighting myself. My body was screaming for me not to be part of this gladiatorial style school sports festival, yet the adults around me were all cheering me to go along with it. By deferring to them I went against myself. The wisdom and sensitivity of a child can contribute much to a society if we were to listen.

447. Wow, one of the most extreme stories I have ready in a while. Crazy that we call such abuse of the human body a triumph.

     1. I agree Adam, any exercise or pursuit that places the body under stress is abuse. Why do we think that it is ok to do this to ourselves?

        1. This could change the world of sport where pushing the body is seen as part of training!

        2. I don’t think sport would exist Lorraine, or like you said, it would definitely change the world of sport.

        3. It’s funny that I used to think I was the odd one because when I was a teenager and an adult into my twenties and thirties I didn’t push my body to exercise it. I hated the pain so never did it. I knew that some exercise was good for me and enjoyed the odd game of tennis, but I felt a kind of guilt that I never went for it like others. The saying goes ‘no pain no gain’… I decided to not gain! I now understand there was a certain honouring of myself by not punishing myself through grueling exercise, but I did it with a given-up-ness. I never connected to the fact that exercise could be gentle, fun and not taxing on the body at all. Perhaps if I had been taught this at school my attitude to exercise would have been completely different.

        4. There are a lot of things rachelmurtagh1 that school should have taught us, however our schools are not designed to teach us about who we truly are. School grooms us to be who we are not.

     2. I agree Adam, what society regards as a triumph is really when we are honest, just an abusive way of being with no true care for ourselves.

        1. So true Michelle. What’s crazy is that these abusive ways are often championed and so many sports have a lot of money thrown at them in terms of sponsorship etc which keeps the investment in them going.

     3. So true. And it happens everywhere. Climbing mountains, rowing oceans, walking deserts..our ability to think up the next most extreme endeavour, to go one up on our brothers, never ceases to amaze me. A double whammy; extreme abuse of our own bodies and an abject denial of the equality that we all are. And even when we lose limbs, lives or families, we still push ourselves even further and harder.

        1. A couple of months ago a worker on my site decided to lose some weight by entering an extreme marathon – 20km through hip deep mud in a swamp. He ended up with an infected ear drum for 2 months, and bung knees. Needless to say he did not lose weight.

        2. What comes to mind Otto is seeing wounded soldiers stressing their bodies further by taking up extreme sports and ventures! Crazy way to prove you still have value in the world.

        3. I feel that sometimes the extreme sports can also be a way for people to deal with trauma, particularly for returning soldiers. They have witnessed atrocities on so many levels and in order to cope they push themselves to do more and more extreme sports, with the absolute acceptance that they may not survive. How awesome it would be for Sacred Esoteric Healing to be offered to people dealing with PTS.

        4. It may be crazy, but as you say Alison these soldiers have been so traumatised and hurt by what they have seen and lived through that it must be extremely hard to find a purpose and value to their lives when they return. It is no wonder that they pursue such extremes. We need to be deeply nurturing these men and women. As you suggest, Sacred Esoteric Healing would be a hugely supportive bridge as they try to rebuild their civilian lives.

     4. Yes Adam, the world seems up side down if we call hurting ourselves (and others) a triumph.

     5. The more you abuse yourself the more you get applause from the world. It is indeed absolutely crazy.

     6. I know Adam the Iron Man challenges are seen as the pinnacle of sporting prowess and like you say it is just major abuse of our very precious bodies.

     7. I know, right? Absolutely crazy!! I had someone share a story with me yesterday about hiking in the snow somewhere for 2 weeks on their own…and hurt themselves so badly that they were forced to ski through the night for hours to get back to their car and go to hospital to be treated. This story was told like it was nothing and that they would do it again, because it’s all about the mind and how the mind copes with such pressure. what for? What does one gain from such extreme experiences?

        1. That sounds like an absolute nightmare, Elodie Darwish. Maybe it’s more to do with what the person is avoiding than what they are gaining. They are pushing their bodies in more and more extreme ways to fulfil a need, maybe they are seeking for the connection they don’t realise they already have, if they choose it, or to numb out the growing dis-ease they are feeling from unresolved hurts. Sooner or later there will be a stop moment and then there will be an opportunity to choose differently, or not.

     8. There are so many versions of this abuse that we call triumph, a day gardening to the point of exhaustion, or a day at work with meetings every hour and no time to eat!

        1. Absolutely Heather, the ways in which we abuse our bodies to feel good about ourselves are countless, it doesn’t matter how many things I tick off my list of having completed for the day, if its done with the energy of not feeling enough or needing to better myself, it always leaves me feeling empty at the end of the day.

        2. Love the gardening example Heather – because, in truth it is no different from the Arctic explorer or the marathon runner. In both cases the body is being driven way beyond its natural expression.

     9. And the way Jane tells her story makes it so very clear how very crazy it is.

448. As I was reading your blog Jane, I realised I have a great appreciation for the body and how amazing it is. It never fails to share the truth with us, no matter what we throw at it. Listening and acknowledging this is another thing, but it really is only ever one choice away.

     1. So true Jennifer. If we all stopped to ‘truly’ appreciate our bodies, the marvel of them and their ever-faithful feedback and support would affect our choices and literally change the world. From our choice of food to the decisions made by politicians; connected with the body we would choose much more lovingly.

449. Amazing changes Jane and great story, thank you very much for sharing it. There is a real aliveness and sense of joy that comes through with the way you describe how exercise is for you now.

     1. ..and it feels so much more relaaaaxed 🙂

        1. Yes, so much more relaaaxed! There is so much pushing and hard work in how we learn to exercise, the same way as we learn to work and go through life, always a drive, always stress, never enough, always after the next thing. So what a blessing to know there is and live this other way.

        2. …. and true … exercising in connection with the body is an honouring of the body, as such, it is much more gentle and respectful, creating a lovely spaciousness in the body, rather than shutting it down.

        3. My fitness centre is connected to a Spa . Sometimes I would go there and feel to go to the Sauna after my workout, but because I was so present with the movements and in flow with my body, there wasn´t this need to “relax” in the Sauna area anymore. Pretty cool..

450. Oh Jane, thank you for your honest sharing that is so supportive for all of us no matter what we are involved in. The lasting image I have after reading your blog is taking your 8 day old baby off the breast and running with them lopsided, all out of sync with your natural rhythm! How often do we do a similar thing when we ignore our bodies? This is a cracker of a blog and very much appreciated Jane! Thank you.

     1. I get the big signals from my left shoulder when I go into any drive and it has nothing to do with how long I have been working etc it is all to do with the drive and overriding of what my body actually needs.

451. Our bodies share everything with us they are our best friends for life. What I love about this blog Jane, is that when we listen with every ounce of our being we can learn so much from our bodies, they are always there to give advice freely when we are there to listen.

452. I am with you Jane in deeply appreciating my body and sure I can deepen this appreciation but it has changed so much over the last years and for me this is key in how I treat my body on a daily basis. And I experience just like you, when I start my day with gentle exercise in front of my mirror is a lot of fun and changes how I move and express myself during the day.

     1. Annelies I really liked reading how you exercise in front of your mirror. That’s lovely. I’m inspired to try that.

        1. It made me aware of how serious I was when I started to exercise in a gentle way. Now when I see myself in the mirror exercising is no longer a serious matter that I need to do in a certain way. The movements are much more playful and I love seeing myself having fun with my body and me, most of the time smiling to myself.

453. My goodness it was almost hard to read how hard you pushed your body Jane and it seems like you managed to come out of it healthy and without long term damage. To find a true way of exercising and to let go of your competitive nature is a huge milestone in self-care and self-love. I imagine your body loves you now!

     1. I agree Jo, when we hear another push themselves so hard, it hurts, yet I find I can be quite good at doing the same thing, perhaps in a different area of life. I always find it interesting how much more willing I am to look after another before myself.

454. I enjoyed reading your blog Jane there are so many things we do to override the messages from our body but its clear from this blog when we stop and listen there is a beautiful feeling to connect to and honour.

455. A very memorable image of you in competition, suckling baby set aside in pursuit of mini victories and medallion recognition. The picture you give of exercise in connection feels much more sustainable, self-nurturing and generally more respectful of the body.

     1. Yes this image stayed with me too. The beauty of suckling a baby feels gorgeously still and nurturing, while the energy of competitive sport feels hard and unloving. A very stark difference and one that is highlighted here beautifully in this example.

     2. Yes Cathy, this image does not sit right at all when you have registered what it feels like to be tender and gentle in the body. I am in appreciation of the Esoteric Modalities that showed what this feeling was in the body again. It is such a long way from competition.

456. Thank you Jane for this beautiful and important reflection, as I’m sure many can relate. I could definitely relate to the feeling when my body was communicating to me that running was just not for me. I was trying to train for a fun run and had bought new shoes especially for that purpose (as my feet had started to ache). As I continued to run, my body quickly began to tell me that it was not designed for this with various aches and pains that would not go away until I stopped running. It has been a journey since then to continue to listen to my body when I might be trying to push it to do something that it is saying a very loud ‘no’ to. I too have found ways of exercising that my body really loves, and will allow me to keep fit and strong without compromising myself in any way. I have had fantastic teachers with this and support along the way too. Thank you for sharing this Jane, your experience is invaluable as so many push and suffer when they do not need to.

457. Hi Jane, I had a similar experience with handball. I was for very long time the goal keeper, from the youth’s to the ladies’ league. You may imagine how much I needed to harden myself and my body up, to be able to ward all the balls thrown in competition and also in anger. I had a stronger six pack than some men. And my arms and hands not to mention. But I loved the position of a goal keeper: I had everything in front of me, under control, the last instance and no one dangerous in my back. Before my pregnancy I already started to feel how painful actuall playing handball is and started to get fear of being hurt. Ironically this was what I have been all the years. I was hurt all the time but hardened up to not feel. Same in life. After my pregnancy I tried again to play, but just one year and then gave up, thinking I have failed somehow. But I did not failed, with the time I realised that I had not even a massive wall of protection but also challanged myself to ward everything off in a hard way. Now my body has changed enormously, and I can feel what it is to be precious and tender. Thanks to Universal Medicine, Esoteric Women’s Health and myself.

458. This part Jane…’No longer do I need to exercise for validation, self-worth or recognition, for how would I need these things when I can feel the fullness of me?’
     Can we send this memo to all the sports teachers at all the schools please?
     This would certainly adjust the ‘competitive streak’ in the drive for children to compete against each other which for a lot of them feels unnatural.

     1. Yes absolutely Kathrynfortuna! It’s crazy how competition is used in school to try and ‘make kids’ win a race or get good grades – coming first and getting the best grades will always make you a ‘winner’, and in school always comes with prizes…. But what schools don’t talk about is the effect of this drive on kids relationships with themselves and with others, and how those who aren’t the brightest academically or the fastest feel when the teacher has such unrealistic expectations.

     2. I so agree Kathrynfortuna. For many sport is seen as a solution in the channeling of kids who struggle to cope academically and is seen as a great way to teach children to “toughen up” and prepare for the accepted lovelessness that is life. Apart from the validation one seeks through sport it also cements the idea of either being a winner or a loser and does not take into account the immeasurable damage this does to one who feels empty. To support a child to feel, accept and live the fullness of themselves is a whole new way of thinking. As Jane says no longer will we need to do anything for validation, self worth or for recognition.

     3. Yes I agree Kathryn, it feels that sport has from a very young age become about competition and pushing rather than about the joy that can be had whilst participating in group exercise.

     4. What a great memo this would be! So many children are crushed by competition. It’s so championed in schools as being healthy. The influence to negate what feels true starts early.

459. Thank you for sharing this amazing story of re-connection to your body through exercise. It is absurd that we would champion a woman competing in a race 8 days after giving birth – the absurdity of this is shown in what you have presented as to all the feelings you had to suppress to get through it and having to stop breastfeeding half way through to join the race. I would love to celebrate the new connected and nurturing relationship you have developed with your body through gentle exercise. This is the real headline!

460. In realizing that no matter how fast, far, or well you ran it never got you any closer to the reasons as to why, and in that moment the turnaround began – the connection to you initiated. The true victory achieved!

461. Wow Jane the drive that we have to compete and challenge ourselves to be more when we are already everything is intense.

     ‘My plan would always be the same – I would start far back in the field and push forward from the very start of the race. I would see my fellow runners as opponents whom I had to beat and my tactic was to overtake them one by one, seeing each of these as a mini triumph.’…

     I used to do that when I drove. It feels like the same thing. Finding the ‘fun’ in being the first or the winner when really why even COMpete when we are already COMPLETE 🙂

462. “That day I got to feel that, deep down, all of that trying and pushing of my body never changed anything. No matter how much faster I ran, how many people I passed and how many medals I won, only to toss them in a drawer, it did not change who I was.”. I can relate to this and have found out that no competition, no comparison, nothing else and no other can change who I am. In fact, I’ve found out that if I choose one of the above, I actually loose myself in a split second = giving my power away to something outside of me. It still happens, but I’m not leaving myself as much as I used to do. I know now when I am connected to the real me and when not. As you’re saying Jane, there’s nothing more I can ask for than feeling the yumminess inside, the yumminess of connecting and embodying me. And for somebody who’s run, played football, cycled, swum and did 1/4 of a triathlon, this is a complete turn around.

463. What an incredible blog Jane and I felt with you the whole way. Interesting how you felt the nervousness before a race and chose to numb that by eating so as to not feel it. Your body was giving you some clear messages…as our bodies always do, that there was something not right.

464. Jane, your blog clearly demonstrates the difference between exercising for the external feedback we are hoping to gain for ourselves and what happens when we exercise from ‘the inside out’ ie when we start with a connection to what our bodies are telling us and then stay with that. The two approaches are like cheese and chalk. Thank you – I am about to go out on my morning walk and will do so with much more awareness of and guidance from my body.

465. Jane thank you for a great insight into how competition can take over our senses. What I really loved in this was how you felt in your last race. You chose to honor yourself and let go of what ever had been your prior thoughts and goals.
     This moment of awareness is a real gem and I can feel how it relates to any aspect of life. It doesn’t matter how much has been invested in the past, if it doesn’t serve us in the current moment stop. You did this in a race, this is so inspirational.

466. This is an amazing article Jane and very inspiring to read. It really highlights the fact that we do need to work on our connection with ourselves first and foremost and that by doing this we build a truly secure relationship that no one can take away.

467. Jane your turnaround in your relationship with exercise to one of connection and appreciation for your body and is a great example of what can happen when we choose to stop, listen and honour the body. Exercising in connection is a beautiful means of developing a loving connection with ourselves that then supports our entire being well beyond the time that we exercise but into the whole of our day.

468. “I had read somewhere that a local runner and Olympic medallist had gone straight back to running after giving birth so I decided that I could too.” This line showed me how powerful role models are and how much responsibility they carry with the messages they portray to readers. Being seen to run a few days after giving birth, says its ok and ‘doable’ to anyone reading that story. We never hear about how her body felt doing that, just the fact that she did something most people wouldn’t even consider. But to the spirit that needs to prove its worth and individuality, it is an instant challenge.

469. Dear Jane, it is beautiful to read your blog here on this site. It is such a powerful story around pushing the body in exercise and the harm that we can do to ourselves by overriding the feelings in our body with what our mind is telling us. Exercise is commonly used as a means of gaining recognition and it isn’t until that we reveal this pattern for what it is that we can choose to exercise to support our body rather than to mask our self-worth issues.

470. This was wonderful to read Jane and confirmed exactly what I have experienced as a child growing up in a home with someone using the same technique to prove their self-worth. It always amazes me that proving your worth through fitness comes at the expense of the body. It also found it comes at the expense of your relationships. All that time out pounding the streets, means not much time at home with your family.

471. What a turnaround Jane from pushing your body to the extreme for the sake of fleeting validation and recognition disregarding the self abuse you were truly feeling in your body. What is it about us humans that like to see fellow human beings pushing their bodies to these extremes? You don’t see a crowd of animals lining up for tickets to watch other animals competing and screaming out from the sidelines goading the competitors on. Where is the love and brotherhood when we act this way. Competition is divisive. How wonderful Jane that you listened to your body and now have a deeper connection with your body, honouring and nurturing yourself and have “discovered that exercises can be light, playful and fun and something I can enjoy on my own or in the company of others”.

472. Interesting reading this blog today because yesterday I was out walking in the beautiful autumn sunshine and there was a mother with her 2 children (aged around 10 and 12) running the on the same path. The children’s faces said it all as they looked like they were in pain and struggling to push their bodies through the ordeal as they passed me three times. Their breathing was a strain as they were quite breathless and I could certainly not sense any feeling of enjoyment! I wondered how this was setting them up for pushing through in life ‘no matter what’ and I am sure for many this could be seen as a strength especially if embraced at a young age. However after reading this Jane you beautifully share how this is not a great trait and one that eventually has detrimental effects on our bodies and lives. Thank you for sharing and showing that exercise can be used in a true way to support the body for life.

473. Connection is key…when connected and listening to the innate wisdom of our body we don’t push past when the message is clearly NO or STOP. Yet without connection, this is very easy to do, until of course, the body breaks down and gives us no choice but to STOP.

474. What a story! And one that so many could relate to. It’s no secret that running wears down and jars your joints…yet people over-ride this and keep going to attain their desired outcomes, none of which can encompass true health and fitness…how can it when we go against all that our body is literally screaming for us to bring a stop to?

475. To override our bodies can be done by overexercising or not exercising at all. I am the absolute opposite of what you describe I never did any sport as I did not like physical exercise, it always felt exhausting. I did not ever feel the benefit of it. Since I started walking more regularly and doing gentle exercises weekly, now the first time in my life I can feel how it actually supports my body and I really like to workout. It is amazing how our bodies communicate with us through vitality and wellbeing or tiredness, sore muscles, pain and lack of vitality. And it is a beautiful way to live listening to our bodies.

     1. I agree rachelandras, my body talks all the time and it sometimes raises it’s voice at me. It can be like a parent when I’m trying to get away with something unloving and then it shows me the consequences of my choices that i have to feel. However, most of the time it is my best friend and we have some great deep and meaning fulls.

        1. Love it Marcia, yes I have come to being my body’s best friend too and enjoy all the messages that I am getting and how we build a more and more harmonious friendship!!

476. ‘No pain no harm’ – now there’s a motto worth exploring. Can you imagine if Nike or another big brand adopted that???

     1. Yes I agree Sarah. Imagine if the big brands stopped championing the ‘push’ to success and began to encourage people to honour the body.
        It makes more sense doesn’t it? But probably not MORE CENTS.

477. Such an important blog to share Jane, thank you. I was a middle distance runner and re-took it up after my children were born as a way to have time for myself, because I was doing charity runs everyone supported the fact that I was pushing through the physical pain. It is crazy when I look back at it…I mean the first time I made it to the end of my street and sat on the kerb crying! My body was loving me so much that I had to choose to override it with a great force. The upshot was post natal depression many years later. My body did not enjoy running, it did not enjoy the pounding, the cold, the long distances, the competition. My head loved the accolades, the sense of charity, the competition. The more I have connected with exercising for connection the more vital my body has felt, I love walking, I love stretching and strength training, not to beat anyone, but to build a vital body that can support the work I am asking it to do.

     1. ​
        I love walking too Lucy .. it is the most amazing rewarding experience I have ever-done. It is second to writing. I would never have thought I would say that that walking can bring so much to your life. It is an exercise for the well-being, and when you walk with the purpose of connecting and feeling your body, nothing is more joyful and enlightening to feel the space expand inside you. The real thing about this feeling is it always improves how you were when you first started. Your not tired afterwards. You do not need to be competitive with another when it confirms to me that I am ok and my thoughts are exposed that do not support me. Words cannot claim enough how powerful walking is when its done to connect to you. Thanks Lucy.

478. Incredible what our bodies are capable of. And no matter how much we try to harden them, they still deliver their message in one way or another: we are tender and delicate beings.

     1. Indeed we are Felix. No matter how many layers we place over our delicateness and tenderness, it is always there in our bodies as a natural way of being, and communicating this so. How amazing our bodies are.

479. Nothing ever changes when we override or ignore what our bodies are feeling, thank you for this reminder Jane.

     1. A simple and wise statement Leigh.

480. Thank you Jane for sharing your story. It is exposing for many of us to consider that there is a difference between fitness and fitness with connection. It is almost like we can take the definition of fitness too far and assign it to anything physical that we can do when it is far beyond just that as your experience has shown here where the body was clearly communicating that at times before your running it was not feeling up to the race yet we are ingrained to override it and continue anyway!

481. It is indeed a wonderful day when we start to listen to our bodies Doug, for the depth of wisdom they share supports us in every moment of our lives.

482. I am in shock Jayne at you running 8 days after giving birth! I am no runner and have always joked that if anyone wants to see me run they will have to threaten me with a gun…and even then I am not sure I would do it….:-)
     I have however gone to extremes in other ways in the name of fun/fitness so I can understand what it is to shout the body down and just keep going.
     You have also highlighted the strange entangled, confusion we experience in our thinking between fitness and health. This is being exposed very broadly now, as measures of fitness are really very artificial and contrived and they are not indices of general health at all – they are measures of a certain kind of developed endurance. You can score well on fitness and be very unhealthy indeed.

     1. ​
        Its great to hear that coming from a doctor Rachel. Most doctors run on the end of the latest research papers and journals. My uncle was seeing a specialist for his kidneys, and he advised it was ok to have a beer a day. Now I bet you he advised that from that research years ago how one drink a day was good for you! Since then research has changed and it now says any volume of alcohol is a direct poison to the body. Like you say Dr. Rachel ” You have also highlighted the strange entangled, confusion we experience in our thinking between fitness and health.” From my experience the mind is a great confuser for just about anything. Its gets in the way even when things are great! Healthy body Healthy mind. We just need to correctly define what true health in the body is, and the only place I have learnt this is from Universal Medicine. The name says it all Universal.

483. I love that motto Doug, not least because it offers an honest reflection. Pushing through pain barriers etc is actually forcing the body to produce its own opioids – we are drugging ourselves in essence. It is only by the grace and adaptability of our bodies that we seem to “get away” with the pushing and forcing. But only for a limited time. An elastic band can only stretch so far.

     1. Oh dear Doug, you have really started something now! Years ago I did Aikido – the ‘gentle’ martial art. The first night of training strained the muscles down the front of my neck so badly and so deeply I couldn’t speak properly for the next three day. Yes…well.
        Of course I kept going, injuring my shoulder and back in the process…but it was good for me…in my mind anyway. I would go to work covered in bruises. They were badges of honour, and worn with pride, until a subluxated shoulder stopped the martial arts practices in their tracks. So why did I keep going after that first night with the damaged throat? All I can say now is that it was the power of the thought “good for me” – my very dear body had something else to say. Shame it had to be a screaming pitch before I listened.
        Well now I listen and more deeply than every before. It is an exquisite conversation that it offers, and the deeper I listen the more it reveals to me – subtle, intricate, precise and sacred.

484. Thank you for sharing Jane,
     Looking outside ourselves for recognition and validation still leaves us empty with lack of self worth. There is nothing more rewarding than appreciating and loving yourself. The more I am in connection with my body, it builds a natural confidence and I enjoy being with me. At peace with myself I enjoy the company of others, I can feel what is going on for them without getting caught up in it and still feel me.

485. Gosh I could feel the hardness and force of the striving in all those running years, I Ioved the totally different different feel of it when you realised what you were doing to yourself and how it is for you now. Such a stark contrast and very exposing of such activities.
     I can see how and where I have done this in other activities in life such as cooking and making art. It does feel momentarily exciting and ‘fulfilling’ when you win or are recognised for what you have done but with that definitely comes a kind of emptiness and a sadness which is probably there because of trying to leave everybody behind in the attempt to win. Winning equals ‘better than’ others which feels quite ugly and separating really.

486. Jane, I often watch people running now and notice how miserable they look. Their bodies feel to be in resistance to what they’re doing and its like they are really making their body do something it is not wanting to do. I used to run myself and know how much I overrode every ache and pain in my body- such madness! Thank you for such a valuable sharing.

     1. I agree Anne, the look of agony and drive is far from the natural joy that we are.

        1. Marcia and Anne, I too often see this as people are on their running exercise – a mixed look of torture and misery and strain. They are punishing themselves, for whatever personal reason. And medicating themselves against a greater emotional pain. Running like ‘cutting’.

487. It is strange to consider how much emphasis we place on seeking outer validation through what we do rather than confirming who we are. It goes to show that we spend way too much time looking outside of ourselves rather than connecting inwards to appreciate that we are already everything. I know I certainly did not have the awareness or understanding of this until I came across Universal Medicine and began to live it for myself.

     1. I agree Marcia. The pain we feel from with from being in separation of our Love is so great that we seek to numb it at any cost. Would it not make more sense to heal the hurts we hold and let go of the pain so we are free from the harm we otherwise continue to exist with?

     2. ​Certainly true Marcia, It feels like a curse we place ourselves under and totally disregard and neglect the inner. So much is seen to be gained from many others who ‘look’ like they have ‘made it’. The pictures are painted all around us of the role models we are meant to look up to, and perfect in all ways. Its only when you really look (or feel) what they have invested in, and seek to find out how they live in all areas of thier life. The easiest way to expose someone is to feel where they are at in their body. What is driving them – love from the body or the most blissful ‘good’ ideal from the mind that has some recognition of self in it. You cannot escape the energetic laws of the universe. Thank God for Universal Medicine for presenting how to discern energy.

488. It’s amazing the extent to which we overide and abuse our body in the name of ‘sport’, but at some point ( perhaps as the result of injury or self realisation) we are made to listen to what the body is telling us. “What I really needed to do was to stop and connect to the real me – who I was inside – with no need for validation through achievement or recognition, just feeling the loveliness of me.” A beautiful realisation.

489. Great how you came to the point we as human beings actually don’t want to compete. We want to be together in equality and brotherhood. The hurts we carry and hold on to we try to deny and numb by ‘winning’ in sports or in other ways, such as being the smartest at school or the funniest ect. Our bodies never lie. They tell us loud and clear competing is not how we are meant to live.

     1. True Monika, society is an extension of school and the pub is the extension of the school yard. Work hard (in competition) and play harder (against ourselves to offset the pain).

        1. I love your comment, Rik. You highlight the importance of how we are at school and at the school yard. That is an important starting point. Teachers are gold in what they offer our children and of invaluable importance for the society we live in.

        2. How utterly true Monika. Teachers can play such a pivotal, supportive and transformative role in demolishing the evil hold that competition has over our society and the education system. Competition sets us one against the other, and is appallingly spoken of as ‘healthy competition’. It leads to our relationships being adversarial and thus to feeling under threat and unable to trust and express openly to each other. The antithesis of true relationship. Teachers who live true relationship can help transform the world and hold our precious children in the truth of love so that they know another way.

        3. I love how beautifully you expressed this truth: ” Teachers who live true relationship can help transform the world and hold our precious children in the truth of love so that they know another way.”
           These teachers give our children permission to remember our natural way, being loving with each other, being all equal and working together to get things done.

490. In a time where so many people are into jogging, competition and doing marathons, this blog is a must read for all of us. When it comes to running, I always wonder: where do we actually run away from?

491. How often do we overrun our feelings instead of listening to what our body so obviously tells us?

492. Great blog Jane, I used to play soccer at a fairly high level and always enjoyed the game, until I started playing against professional players. Once people got paid to play, the way they would play changed and you could see and often be on the receiving end of such aggression that stoping playing was so very easy.

     1. Yes, some sporting fields are more like battle zones these days as the need to prove oneself against competition takes over and kills any joy that might otherwise be had.

        1. I have to be honest, but I’ve never seen a sporting game or field that doesn’t contain some elements of the battlefield. The ‘friendliest’ of games still seem to spark competition, ‘besting’ another and deeply held desires to triumph or win…

        2. Yes, it has been pointed out more than once that we moved from war between nations to sports between nations and carry all the same pride, aggression and separation on the the fields of play

        3. Sporting fields are without doubt battle zones. Tossing Christians to lions at the Colosseum was considered a ‘sport’, as is horse racing and grey-hound racing with live bait. The TV news consistently refers to the sports ground as the rein of battle, and uses military imagery to describe the game and victory. Players are pitted against one another and see each other as the ‘enemy’ side.

493. Thank you Jane, competition is rife in our society today. It is our way of validation that we are ‘okay’, better or less than another. This “mini triumph” for example, I have experienced and lived in my school years – out-doing another. It doesn’t last long let me tell you. The moment we get that validation – we need to do something more to get more recognition. What a complete and beautiful moment you had where your body said stop and you honoured it. I agree, exercise can bring a sense of vitality into our day and strengthen our connection when we exercise in connection. True Connection as inspired and supported by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

494. What a turn around Jane. That is such an incredible change. It is not often that sport is considered abuse but the way you have recounted it, it certainly is an appropriate description. I recently walked past a group of people running the Melbourne marathon. Their faces told the story – pained, uncomfortable, grueling and intense. It certainly didn’t look like anyone was enjoying themselves.

     1. Yes Vicky, I too have felt the pain, push and exhaustion of a group of runners, bike riders, even fast walkers, there is no joy yet they all continue. The feeling in the body when one moves truly valuing themselves, feeling into every moment and appreciating how amazing it is, brings so much warmth and love of self and others – how can one not choose this. Our body’s are meant to be in rhythm with God and nature and allowed to flow, when this happens it truly is like coming home.

     2. I agree Vicky. And every time I pass a runner when i am driving to work I clock the strain and stress on their face and how that they are pushing their bodies to work in a way that is not harmonious or loving. The fitness industry is due for a massive overhaul!

     3. True Vicky, so many sports leave the players bashed, bruised and worse for wear at the end of the game or race, and treating ourselves and our bodies in this way is really a from of self abuse.

     4. Well said Vicky – sports are not often ever considered abusive. But when you truly and honestly look at the damage that this done physically to players, say in a game of football, how can we accept that this physical harm is OK? Let alone the not so obvious but constant form of mental and emotional abuse and damage that is experienced daily by competitors of any sport. As their world is geared-up and revolves around bring driven to win, succeed and defeat. Time and time again we see that this way of living is not truly sustainable as it is not truly what we are designed for, and often results in permanent injury, depression and disillusionment and occasionally death. Our bodies always reflect the choices we make, how we treat our bodies and what is true. And we always have the opportunity to choose to listen and honor this truth from within.

     5. Agree Vicky I observe the same driving along the coast on weekends and passing by all the “marathon bikers” who force their bikes up and down the mountains under the hot sun all under the ideal of fitness. The painful faces are a testimony of what they are truly feeling.

495. Very beautiful Jane. That’s a huge transformation you describe from competitive sports for recognition to exercising gently whilst supporting a connection to your body. It goes to show the level of love you hold for yourself now.

496. I caught a bit of the rugby world cup on tv and the whole thing looked absurd to me. If an alien came to earth and we tried to explain that we run after a ball in a field and beat each other up; that we outrun each other to the detriment of our health so we could get a medal – that alien would think it arrived on a planet of crazy persons.

497. Thank you Jane, a story that needs to be widely told. How often do our bodies suffer in the strive to be ‘fit’. And how beautiful that you came back to listen to the wisdom of your body.

     1. Being super fit has been mistaken for being healthy, and in many cases, this couldn’t be further from the truth. The body may look slender, muscular, toned or sculpted but it also wears the cost of being pushed hard, pain disregarded and often a way of eating and drinking that is less than healthy or supportive for the body. The body is seen as just the outer shell and championed for what it can do and achieve but at what cost?

        1. I was never an athelete, but was very fit in my late 30s and looked great, but became very ill with extreme exhaustion from pushing myself and making unloving and unsupportive choices in my life. My body said ‘STOP’ in a big way and so my level of fitness did nothing to support me in this as I went from being able to run for 40 mins to being exhausted from simple tasks and short walks.

        2. Yes Doug, I know this to be true, our bodies give us messages all the time, and if we override them or ignore them, then the messages get much louder until we hear them.

498. Thank you Jane, a really important story that needs to be widely told . There are many ways we hurt our bodies, and our drive to be ‘fit’ at any cost is one of them. How beautiful that you could hear your body speak, and respond to it.

499. Sports/exercise are something good for our body, yet they are often competitive and goal orientated. PE classes for me were nothing but humiliating most of the time, and I shied away from sports/exercises because I didn’t like to be feeling less and wrote them off as ‘not my thing’, and I was also deep into comparison and competitiveness. So, I am very glad to be discovering that athlete or non-athlete, no matter what age we are, exercise and connecting to one’s physical body is a joy-full experience.

500. “I would see my fellow runners as opponents whom I had to beat and my tactic was to overtake them one by one, seeing each of these as a mini triumph” – this really stopped me on my track. I am no athlete, but this focus and push to prove my worth by beating others is something very familiar to me. That was the attitude I held for so long whenever walking into a new environment whether that was a school, or work – thinking how I could prove myself to be better than the rest.

501. Thank you for sharing your story, Jane. What a turn around this really is. “No matter how much faster I ran, how many people I passed and how many medals I won, only to toss them in a drawer, it did not change who I was” – this is a great realisation. Those ‘successes’ never fill us and we keep wanting more. Those recognition and achievement we chase after do not bring what we are truly yarning for.

502. What a great blog Jane. You really expose the truth behind competition..”That day I got to feel that, deep down, all of that trying and pushing of my body never changed anything. No matter how much faster I ran, how many people I passed and how many medals I won, only to toss them in a drawer, it did not change who I was.” To exercise and compete for recognition feels completely different to exercising gently to support and build the body.

503. That is quite intense Jane, even through and just after pregnancy to push your body so much. It is great how you have found another more loving and harmonious way to exercise which does not pit you against others. The problem I find with competition is that there is always a winner and a loser and so always a level of anxiety running through the body.

     1. Correct James, you cannot escape how your body feels if your feeling it. Our bodies are designed to naturally live in harmony with each other not in competition.

        1. I agree Rik, we all know and can feel this especially as children yet somehow we allow ourselves to let go of this and then compete with each other thinking we have something to prove. I wrote this blog celebrating our strengths which shows the exquisiteness when we allow ourselves to see the beauty in another as well as ourselves. https://truthaboutsergebenhayon.com/2015/07/07/celebrating-our-strengths/

504. That’s awesome Doug, we are so quick to see things in a negative light and so instead of learning from them we then beat ourselves up. We are not designed to be perfect and so are bound to make mistakes – the key is how quickly we recover, learn from what we have chosen and move on.

     1. That is great Doug, appreciating ourselves is huge and yet at times feels so alien to do. Am I really worth appreciating? and thoughts like that pop up which are crazy when we are all equal sons of God and so of course we are worth appreciating and celebrating! I find the more I appreciate myself the more I can also appreciate others and everything that is going on around me, so it is far from being selfish as it is actually an extremely loving thing to do and everyone benefits.

        1. It is interesting how almost everything in this world is designed to pit us against each other or to feel less about ourselves and somehow not quite good enough or up to the mark. It feels like a constant struggle at least that was until I came across Universal Medicine which has redefined for me what it is to actually be living a life, taking full control and responsibility for all of my choices and actions rather than trying to best get through the day and manage however I could. It is quite a major difference, not easy at times but well worth sticking with love as it is the best guide and teacher one could ever have, best of it is with you 24/7 and is completely free!

        2. It is a very bizarre situation most of us live in and with – deeply wanting to be loved yet shutting people out thinking the best way to get love is to somehow prove we are worth loving. We have this picture or goal of what live should be like and so try to live up to it and strive for it instead of stopping to appreciate that we are already love, so there is no need to prove anything to anyone.

     2. I agree Doug, at first it may seem daunting like we have no base to stand on but when we go back to the innocence we held as a child we did not need anything or anyone to confirm us or tell us who were are. We could and can feel everything. We have to come back to this state where we are prepared to look at everything and take full responsibility for our lives, only then will we truly start to live a life based on love.

     3. I feel it is Doug. It relates to the parable of building a house on sand or rocks. Without a solid foundation of love eventually the whole house will fall down. Whereas if we have a really solid base of love we have something to go back to and build from.

505. It is interesting Jane that until you mentioned pregnancy I had assumed this blog was written by a man! I love how on that fun run you surrendered to your body’s messages.

     1. It’s interesting how we can only override or ignore what our bodies are telling us for so long, before they are so loud that we have no option but to listen. Listening to the first message I get is something I am working on all the time!

506. What you are writing Jane is incredible but it is long, so I will read in chunks and get through it as I know this subject is well worth commenting on.
     The first bit you talk about running with absolute disregard to your body and how you were actually feeling is shocking. Gosh to put the goal before how your body is feeling sounds crazy but how many are doing that today?
     I know people running and competing in any weather any challenge and its like they just cannot stop even with the aches and pains.
     Being pregnant is a precious time and a huge responsibility as a mother to take deep care of what is going on inside your body and yet what you are saying is how you just OVER RIDE the whole thing with your mind set goals and ignore this natural internal process.
     I know I was not a runner but I was running, on the go all my working life until I met Serge Benhayon. I had to get very ill and almost die before I finally stopped.
     How wired are we in our brains to never stop even though we are literally dying inside.
     Crazy crazy and that is why the world needs a teacher like Serge Benhayon to present that there is another way to Live.

507. Knowing how gentle and caring you are of others Jane I was quite surprised when I reached the end of this article and found it was written by you. What a living testament you are to the value of making choices from what we deeply feel inside rather than from seeking validation from others.

     1. More and more testimonies (including Michelle’s) appearing Jane to say that people would never have guessed that the hard competitive runner was actually you. This is truly amazing and must be celebrated!

     2. ​It is a huge shift Michelle, I was the same in my competitiveness where I became aggressive, even watching sport it becomes a game of hate, and potentially your thoughts can become violent too (says a lot for domestic violence since sport is in ‘good fun’). It is a game of mind control against your brother. You just need to watch any face and eyes of a sportsman and see its not them. I am living proof that how I used to be was not me and I was super competitive in everything I did. I am the most tender sensitive man and proud of it to the bone. I’m not a small man either. I do not have an issue with any other man. They can feel how I’m not trying to be competitive with them at all and often drop thier guard with me. My sensitivity is too precious too override for any competition.

508. Jane thank you for sharing your story and I agree, gentle exercise feels great as we truly connect with our bodies and allow ourselves to feel every muscle as it moves and stretches.

509. Woah, doing a 10km run 8 days after giving birth! I’m surprised the body was physically able to do that. I can relate to pushing your body like that, I once hadn’t done much physical training for a year and then caught up with some friends from an old outrigging club- they asked if I would go into a 10km race the next day. I jumped in the boat and paddled like crazy, I pushed through any aches and pains to the point that I no longer felt any pain. I had forgotten to put vaseline on the shoulder straps of my swim wear and lets just say wet swimwear and a repetitive movement don’t mix. By the end of the race my shoulders and under arms were red raw and bleeding. The next day I couldn’t move but at the time I would have done it again, I wouldn’t have questioned it. There was part of me that liked the physical pain. Now this just makes no sense, I couldn’t put my body through that.

510. This is such an honest blog that reminded me of the days when I was into exercise in a way where I pushed my body to achieve results (which for me was not only about being fit, but about weight loss). At the time, I never stopped to consider how my body was really feeling – whether I was sore, tired, exhausted, straining myself etc. – the focus was simply on the end result, which surprisingly despite a lot of effort, was never achieved (!). When I started to have more awareness of my body, for a few years I rejected exercise altogether… however now I’ve realised it’s not just about the type of exercise, but about the quality of how I do the exercises. What I’m learning to do is to listen to my body and let this be the guide in my exercise, rather than the focus on the end result which not only feels better, but has naturally resulted in the things I have previously ‘tried’ to focus on without even trying.

511. Thankyou for this beautiful sharing Jane – with such honesty. “Over the past 8 years I have been learning to listen more to my body and to its constant communication with me. I deeply appreciate my body, how all the different parts work together to allow it to move and express itself.” For years I was so numb to what my body was telling me but since coming to Universal Medicine presentations and healing sessions I have woken up and am now listening to my body and heeding its call more than ever these days.

512. Jane this is most certainly a turnaround. Thank goodness for the wisdom of the body bringing you to a halt. Your experience brings home yet again how wise and precious this living instrument (the human body) is A living instrument we take for granted and very often neglect and abuse. Thank you for sharing the healing that it possible when we listen to our body’s living wisdom.

513. I have recently come to the realisation that we can over exercise to fit a specific mould that we think we need to fill.

     In our modern day of 24/7 fitness and fad diets. There is an enormous pressure to look a specific way. Therefore constant comparison between each other is fueled by our own lack of self worth and acceptance.

     To really work out to support ourselves is a massive leap for someone who has only know exercising to gain recognition and appearance.

514. I played competitive tennis from the age of eight till I was 14 then gave it up completely because I realized I did not even enjoy playing it. The problem was I did not deal with my lack of self worth and why I needed to win every tournament, so went from competitive sport to bulimia and eventually loads of drugs and alcohol all for the same reason to avoid the emptiness I felt inside.

515. Hi Jane I so loved your blog it exposes how most of us have a distraction of one type or another to avoid connecting with our self and taking responsibility for our lives. Some people do drugs and alcohol, others indulge in food, while others like yourself do exercise or running. It is interesting how many poo, poo those who take drugs but would not consider running and exercise in the same category. But as you share it is really no different if done in the wrong intent, all take you away from your connection with self.

516. This comment stood out for me Jane – ‘That day I got to feel that, deep down, all of that trying and pushing of my body never changed anything. No matter how much faster I ran, how many people I passed and how many medals I won, only to toss them in a drawer, it did not change who I was.’ I can remember always looking for the next thing to do. As a yoga teacher I pushed myself to contort my body into some of the impossible postures, despite the daily pain I felt in many of my joints. I also taught aerobics and was considering starting training to compete in triathlons, but by then my body was clearly shouting out that it could not take what I was putting it through anymore. That moment when I finally realised nothing changes after all that pushing and trying was quite devastating for me. All that pain, investment, time and money. And what for? But it was also a turning point and a start of being honest that led me to start making new choices.

517. “I have learned that exercise is about connection first and if I exercise in connection to myself, not only does it feel amazing, that same quality of connection remains with me long after I finish my exercise. It is what I take into the rest of my day.” I can really relate to this Jane, when i bring awareness to my movements as i swim or walk, its like my body smiles from within and feeds me back.

518. Jane what a turn around from all that pushing and striving. You may have pushed yourself in running, but I know there are many other areas where the same drive plays out, just with a different activity. Fortunately your stop moment came before you had a serious illness or injury. I know in the past I have only stopped the incessant pushing when I have become ill. Having that deep appreciation for my body was not something I was ever taught as a child. As you share, we are often congratulated and rewarded for these acts of endurance. Fortunately I met Serge Benhayon who shared with me that there is another way to live that involves respecting and honouring the body.

519. An clear and accessible blog Jane that pulls the curtain on the empty pursuit of validation and recognition. Seeking confirmation & praise from outside will never build true lasting confidence in whatever we do, as you say if we begin to connect to our bodies and build consistent honesty with ourselves, the steadiness that this brings is rich beyond compare.

520. This is great to read Jane, how lovely that you listened to your body and stopped competitive running, ‘what I really needed to do was stop and connect to the real me’, ‘simply feeling the loveliness of me’, I love how simple life can be, I spent years trying to prove myself, trying to get it right and this didn’t ever help me feel better about myself, now I feel the loveliness of me I dont need to prove myself and life feels much more enjoyable.

521. Wow Jane, what a turn around! What you’ve described about your history on the track sounds intense – I’ve never been a runner myself but can imagine the stress your body you must have been under during that time. I love hearing how both your relationship to yourself and your body has changed – you can now appreciate how it truly supports you rather than doing it to escape life or checkout, and thus harden.

522. What a turnaround Jane ! I would never have guessed from the text this was You . Congratulations !

523. Jane having been in our local city at the weekend there was a local marathon going on. the streets cordoned off yet when you watched the faces of those competing the pain was written all over them. The interesting point was the cheering and rallying of the crowds was probably the main thing that kept everyone going, kept them pushing through the pain. Now as someone that is not a runner or sport type reading your blog I could relate to many of the signs and experiences you felt but in others areas of what I do such as work. There is a horrible feeling in my body when I go into wanting to beat another person. It strikes me that running, work, performing, playing video games – anything with the aim of competition has the same affect on the person participating.

     1. When I am out and about I have seen so many runners or joggers in discomfort, exhaustion or pain. The consciousness that says this is good for you is so strong when combined with our need for recognition or to find self worth through what we do. To honour ourselves by listening to our bodies needs to be taught to children at a very young age so that we can be tender with ourselves, naturally so.

     2. You are right David, you can see it in their strained faces nobody is having fun. Our bodies were meant to be fit and active but running punishes the body into a hard disconnected state. Competing with another is pushing to see who can ignore their body the most, all involved are disconnected hard, and worse off. The little victories of competition are no compensation for the hardness in the body that disconnects you from what you want most which is, love for self, and others.

     3. David it’s interesting when we consider the pain that we are often in when we choose to do sport. If someone handed us a hammer and said ‘hit yourself on the hand’ there’s no way that we would choose to do it and yet somehow feeling large amounts of pain whilst exercising seems not only ok but something that people often strive to feel as well as pay for! How crazy is that?

     4. Its interesting David to consider competition and really how awful it feels, but that we think it’s a great thing. The phrase ‘healthy competition’ is bandied about. But maybe that’s the question we need to be asking…What actually is healthy about competition? When considering Jane’s very clear description of competition for her and the effects on her body, one would have to say nothing.

524. I have the pleasure of knowing you Jane and it was a big surprise to see your name at the bottom of this blog! I did not know you when you were competing and knowing you now and how tender and loving you are, it’s virtually impossible for me to believe how you used to be with yourself and your body. This is such a powerful example of how dramatically we can change if we take a moment to stop, listen to what our body is saying to us and honour that. Amazing and inspirational, thank you.

525. “My enjoyment of exercising in connection far outweighs any of the buzz I got when I used to compete.” This represents a huge turnaround in how you approach and undertake exercise Jane.

526. Jane this an enormous turn around from competitive running to more loving gentle exercise. The fact that you say exercise is now about connecting to yourself first and not for “Validation, self worth or recognition” as you previously felt it to be. Our bodies are not meant to be pushed to the limits in anyway and it makes a huge difference to self nurture in more loving, gentle ways. I agree, I also thank Serge Benhayon for his Presentations and teaching of the Ancient Wisdom for many changes in the way I treat my body.

527. What a great article Jane, showing the lengths and extremes we go to to validate ourselves. These are costly to ourselves and others and yet we somehow champion them. It is absolutely beautiful to read and feel the transition to a gentle form of exercise that truly supports you to be all that you are.

     1. I agree Jenny, we sure do go to extreme lengths to get recognition from others. We rely on others to say yes we are doing well, or to ‘beat’ others and so get the validation this way, either way we are not seeing how amazing we are in the 1st place when we are just being ourselves. If we start with love how can we be any more or less, love is love.

     2. Validation, it seems, until we no longer require a means of doing so, is always at a cost to the self that is trying to prove itself as the: most/ best/ biggest/ toughest/ smartest – and that doesn’t seem very smart at all!

528. Seeking validation, self-worth and recognition from outside of ourselves can impair our judgement, not even academic merit or professional standing gives immunity to this.

529. I relate strongly with your story Jane, I too got caught up in the need to compete and find validation by doing well in competitive sports, yet no recognition ever changed my feelings, my confidence didn’t grow in any meaningful way through achieving in sport. In fact it only fed an emptiness that I was using sporting endeavour to bury. It is quite a change to not exercise for wellbeing and not be driving to be better all the time. Thanks for sharing your experiences.

530. WOW! What a powerful and insightful sharing Jane Torvaney. Thank you!
     This blog had me in shock initially from reading the level of such deep disregard that we can have for our body fed by the underlying and unrecognised need to be validated and approved of externally.
     It is a joy to read how this all changed during the race after your second pregnancy. The very marked difference in awareness with your body then and to actually heed and respond to its call in the middle of a race is truly inspiring.
     To bring a stop to the harm, pushing, competitiveness and drive in this way is the greatest ‘win’ of all…..you appreciating re-uniting with yourself.
     “Over the past 8 years I have been learning to listen more to my body and to its constant communication with me. I deeply appreciate my body, how all the different parts work together to allow it to move and express itself”.

531. Thank you Jane for sharing the reasons you took up competitive running and how it can then become so important to keep that all going. You breast feeding before a race and not finishing the breastfeeding in order to start running is a great example of how driven we can get – I am sure you were not the first and won’t be the last. What this says to me is that competitive sport can become addictive, but is heralded as being healthy for us.

532. Jane this is such an awesomely honest sharing and even though I have never been a runner, I could feel myself “running” with you as I read, feeling the impact on your body, the harm of which for so long was simply overridden by your need for validation and recognition. So many of us have had, or may still have, these same needs and have sought to satisfy them in a myriad of ways, but to learn that these needs simply disappear when we connect to ourselves first before doing anything, is such a body honouring and life changing lesson.

533. Jane, I can feel the pain of all the pushing, striving and competing that you did. It’s astounding what we can do to our bodies when we are seeking recognition. Everything else becomes more important than us. Thank you for sharing your experience. It is a good reminder to watch for the little things I do in life that are from the same energy.

534. Wow Jane this is a really important place of understanding to have got to and the level of self love in your body can be felt when reading it. Feeing that competitive exercise is not loving for our bodies and our very self esteem is such a beautiful place to get to and how far you have come shines out gloriously to enjoying exercise and everything you do in your day being the same . Very inspiring sharing thank you.

535. WOW! What a powerful sharing Jane Torvaney. Thank you!
     This blog had me in shock initially from reading the level of such deep disregard that we can have for our body fed by the underlying and unrecognised need to be validated and approved of externally.
     It is a joy to read how this all changed during the race after your second pregnancy. The very marked difference in awareness with your body then and to actually heed and respond to its call in the middle of a race is truly inspiring.
     To bring a stop to the harm, pushing, competitiveness and drive in this way is the greatest ‘win’ of all…..you appreciating re-uniting with yourself.
     “Over the past 8 years I have been learning to listen more to my body and to its constant communication with me. I deeply appreciate my body, how all the different parts work together to allow it to move and express itself”.

536. Gosh Jane, I’ve teary in my eyes by reading “I found I did not want to compete, I did not want to overtake anyone”. Yes, to win will give us a moment of triumph – but for what charge?! We leave everyone behind and end up alone – as alone as we started when we start with the purpose to be better. As alone as we are when we override what our body is telling us. No recognition, no win, no validation, no doing at all will give us what we are missing, give us what we left behind: to express the love we are. To connect to my love again and to express from here is to be connected with us all, because we are all equal. And so I am not alone anymore, I won me and all of you. And no one will be left behind.

537. Jane, you mention that when you were running your focus became narrowed and the nature around you was not enjoyed. This was true for me too, I was not training or competing and my running was more like a jog but still my focus would narrow too. This is even more obvious with hindsight as now when I walk there is a connection with the environment around me that is more dome than tunnel like and there is so much more enjoyment when my feel land without the added impact jogging causes and my arms and shoulders glide freely rather than holding my arms in a jogger’s brace.

538. Your story makes it so clear how utterly abusive competition is to ourselves, to our bodies, to anybody around. It is a game of filling one’s own needs over another’s and yet everybody is doing the same, wanting a moment of success, wanting a moment of being enough, being in a crowd and feeling utterly lonely and on one’s own. This is indeed crazy.
     In competition there is nothing to strive for only a pathological re-filling of an ever deepening emptiness. Connection with ourself and others is the antidote. In competition there is always the hunger for more, in connection there is a stilling satisfaction of being enough.

539. Your story Jane is a loving example of how we continue to run away from things we don’t wish to address and no mater how far or fast we run, at the finishing line we can never out run our issues… because they are still within us… waiting.

540. “I have learned that exercise is about connection first and if I exercise in connection to myself, not only does it feel amazing, that same quality of connection remains with me long after I finish my exercise. It is what I take into the rest of my day.” What a powerful realistion and inspiration, Jane. I had not seen it in that way until now, changing my whole relationship with exercise to inspire me to look forward to exercising rather than participating because it is ‘good’ for me and therefore something I should do.

541. Thank you Jane, what is so amazing is that when I started to read this blog I was expecting to have been written by a man! The quality of the competitive energy and drive feels so masculine and in complete opposition to the true essence of the delicate, precious woman you are. How glorious to come home to your body and your choice to honour yourself through choosing to exercise in a way that truly respects all of who you are.

     1. That’s right Rowena – competition is competition all in the ‘same vein’, all has the same result in the body man or woman.

542. Jane, there is so much in what you write here that can be applied to anything, I didn’t do this with exercise, I did this with exams and work, different emphasis but same story, I wanted to be recognised, to be validated, for others to tell me how great I was. But in all that I wasn’t being me at all, and I was very definitely ignoring how I was feeling, how my body felt. When you speak of how you realised during your last race how you truly felt, “That day I got to feel that, deep down, all of that trying and pushing of my body never changed anything.”, this struck a deep chord and I can feel how with all the effort and trying I’ve done with wanting to be seen to be doing the right thing and being recognised, with pushing myself, indeed it changed nothing, and my body and I wore the punishment of all that striving. And worst of all it was never needed, as I’ve learned to connect to and live more from me, I can feel the loveliness that is there and how much I’ve missed that.

543. Thank you Jane, what you describe about pushing yourself and harming your body is something many of us do or have done. The empty feeling not long after winning a match or a medle should give us a clue that competing and winning is not fulfilling us, it just triggers us to go for the next win as the emptiness we have inside has not left us after our victory or achievement. I find it very saddening to see that we have been constructing our world around bettering ourselves in relation to others, so we can feel we matter and we are worthy. But how can we truly feel better about ourselves at someone else’s expense?

544. The awareness you came to and got to feel through your running was quite extraordinary… for many continue to strive to compete without ever stopping and feeling their body or why they are pushing it. It is gorgeous that you have a marker in your body now of what true exercise in connection is, free of needing to validate your worth but full of connection to yourself.

545. There was a comment in here that so reminded me of my own experiences with sport – that all the fun was had when I was competing. We only competed in rowing a few times a year with the regattas in the summer, yet the training (especially through the winter) was gruelling and there was very little fun, and it was brutal on the body.
     The difference between this, and now doing exercise with a focus on how my body feels… enjoying the warmth, the connection to my body, or the ease at with it transforms me being too in my head. These are uncomplicated experiences that keep me coming back for me, as I can feel it truly supports me.

     1. Simon Williams I love your reference to exercise now being an uncomplicated experience. This is true for me as well these days. No push, must do’s, didn’t do’s or harshness in the body. Lots more space and opportunities to really feel what my body is wanting and able to manage. And this gives a lot more enjoyment and consistency becomes a natural choice because it feels great supporting my body.

     2. I agree simonwilliams8. The training for many sports is quite grueling and there is little fun in it. It is like we have to put ourselves through hardship to then feel better about ourselves or to bond with team mates through the shared hardship of the training. There is no connection with our bodies in all of this. How lovely to see that there is another way to exercise. A way that connects ourselves to our body and supports our physical body rather than drains it.

546. Great blog Jane, its crazy what we put our bodies through in the name of sport and competition overriding what it is trying to tell us. I played rugby for years and just watching some of the world cup recently and how brutal the sport is I realised that it definitely wasn’t something I should have been doing to my poor old body. Where I grew up, if you were a boy thats what you did, you played rugby whether you liked it or not.

547. When I was 15, I was in a boarding school and went to a race just to join in with other students. It was quite painful and remember that it was a rainy day and the ground quite muddy. When I finished the race, my body was aching and I was wet and cold. More recently, 7 years ago, I use to run 40 mins daily but eventually had to stop since my knee started to hurt so much that I could not run anymore. From now on, I just do a gentle ten minute walk and that is about it but my body enjoy this a lot more.

548. Thank you Jane for demonstrating so clearly that the starting pistol that sets us off in a rush to get somewhere and get there before someone else gets us nowhere. It is a great lesson in letting go of the striving for outer recognition and simply re-connecting to our inner self and appreciating the beauty that is within and in nature all around us.

549. Hi Jane, thanks for sharing how out of control your drive for competition was. Our mind can weave the most convincing stories in order to over-ride what the body tells us, The heartwarming message coming from your sharing is that the body knows the truth and doesn’t give-up. Your comment – ‘ Looking back now I can see why I had chosen to join the running club, why I had chosen to race and why I had a game plan. I could also see why, for so long I had been competitive’ reveals that you have exposed what was driving you and now are able to support yourself in more loving ways.

550. Wow Jane I loved reading how you learned for yourself what was really going on in your body when you competed and why you competed. To break out of competitive sport like you did, when in the thick of it is a miracle and you made it so simple. I lived a very competitive life from about 14 and played all kinds of sport including long distance running. I used to think I was nervous only because of the pressure to win but looking back I can see that much of that nervousness and anxiety was my body knowing what was going to happen next. It has taken a long time, and still a work in progress, for the residues of competition to come to the surface and let go of, from all areas of my life. I have enjoyed once again exercising my body like I did when I was a young girl.

551. I know this too Jane, that our minds are able to override our inner feelings and push the body, often for self worth and recognition, while ignoring the clear signs our body gives. Therefore I am so grateful that I have found a way of living from the connection with my innermost, as being presented by Serge Benhayon. In my innermost I have found the appreciation for myself, that I am ok for who I am, and am truly fulfilled, compared to being appreciated from the outside for any achievements I have made by any ‘doing’ while disconnected from my body, which never lasted and needed to be repeated over and over again.

552. Wow, Jane what a ‘marathon’ you have been on. I find it interesting that we can focus so much on seeking recognition be it through exercise, sport, talking or accomplishing anything really. Competition is so ingrained in society when it is all about ‘me’. So then our bodies are carrying the load of our competitiveness when naturally there is not one ounce of competitiveness in how our bodies are supposed to operate to keep us healthy.

553. an excellent read Jane. Running is so harsh on the body and I remember every time I used to run at little athletics, school cross country etc I aways came to that same inner awareness. It felt hard to keep up the momentum of competition because it was so restricting on my body and I was always so tired and angry/resentful after every race. for me running and competition was something I participated in because everyone else was doing it and I wanted to fit in, but it never felt natural.

554. Jane thank you for your illuminating blog. Although I never ran, as a gym junkie I can understand well the buzz that you describe. Looking back I exercised not only for the buzz but also for relief it seemed to provide from feeling irritated and angry a lot of the time. Like a drug addict, after a while my exercise stopped getting me high and all I felt was worse than I did before. It was at that point that I was forced by my body to look deeper at why I needed to exercise. It was also at that time that I became interested in Universal Medicine.Now my relationship with exercise has become about confirmation rather than tranquilisation!

555. Thanks Jane for highlighting how harmfull and unnatural competition at any level is which obviously goes against the belief system of many in the world however your body feels so much better for not competing.

556. Such a beautiful honest story Jane.
     It’s amazing how the desire to compete can be so strong in our minds, and that our society encourages it and applauds/ rewards those that win. Competition starts as early as preschool nowadays. How different would it be if we were encouraged from a young age to feel our body when exercising, and learn to honour it by moving gently, and not override it to please others or need recognition?

557. I know for me, being pregnant changed my view of the world entirely. For the first time since childhood, I felt at one and in rhythm with all that I was encompassed by – the cycles of nature, the love of God. We are always held in this rhythm but when we choose to move out of tune with it we begin to lose sight of it completely. For me it was not a single conscious choice but more a gradual move away from the centre until I was completely out of step with the Whole. When we loose sync like this, it is easy to see how we become lost and turn to behaviours that we feel might take this pain away. Competitive running is a great example. Our only way back is through our bodies where the beating of our hearts and the love contained therein has never skipped a beat to the divine symphony that we are a part of.

     1. Yes so true Liane. RE-Uniting back with the beat of our own hearts and bodies and reconnecting with the harmony that we know from deep within.

558. Hi Jane,
     From an early age I had this sense in me that I was not willing to really be a competitor.
     Playing basketball for me was more rewarding when I would cheer on my fellow team mates in support of them, of who they were. It was a lovely feeling knowing that I was appreciating them for who they truly were.. it was never really about the game for me.
     In your writing I really cherish your deeper connection to self and how this totally changed your concept of running.

559. The title say is all Jane. When we connect with ourselves we are complete, full and whole, for in essence we are love and love is enough. In disconnection with this, we sense the ‘missing piece’ and mistakenly believe it can be filled with substitutes such as competition (proving we are ‘better’), numbing ourselves with food, distracting ourselves with busyness, burying ourselves in work, checking out via entertainment etc. – all of it as a guise to mask the fact that we are love and we are not living it. When we live the love that we are, we have nothing to prove but everything to be.

     1. Beautiful Liane. It is unbelievable that we find all these different ways to try to make up for what we feel is a lack within us, when all along we are the love that we seek, it is just that we often don’t live this love. I recently had an experience where, in the moment, I realised I could choose to be love or I could continue to develop an issue that I had started. It was as simple as that – a choice – love or not love. Thankfully I chose love and there was no issue.

        1. ​I agree Lee Poole “It was as simple as that – a choice – love or not love”. It is that simple when you know it! A question – How come most of the population does not know how to actually choose it? They should know what Uninversal Medicine fundamentally teaches there is two different types of energy – the spirit and the Soul. One is involution ie. competition (disconnected), and the other is evolution (connected) ie. working in harmony. Massive difference and it explains everything.

Comments are closed.