Seeking Connection in Techno Parties

Recently I had the chance to re-visit a scenario that for a few years was my normal. I went to a techno party with a couple of friends who were visiting from abroad; one of them was DJ-ing for a couple of hours.

After hesitating a lot and knowing that I would have to put up with the consequences in my body, I chose to go as I believed it was a unique occasion to share a night with people I love, plus I was also curious as to how this would feel after many years.

The Ways and Choice to Party

I was amazed at what got displayed to me that night, and I remembered that this is actually one of the ways many young people choose to party.

What is it about these experiences, parties and lifestyle that looks so enticing and is a real hook for many people, especially young people?

When inside the club, I remembered how it always felt impossible to survive these parties without drugs or alcohol. I used to find it really miserable to do so because I would get exhausted, lost and moody quite easily.

This time was no different, I felt miserable straight away, but I decided I could observe it from a different perspective in the short time I was going to stay, and without my usual investments and expectations from the past, such as:

  • To uninhibit and let myself go (as my normal daily life used to feel dull, boring and cautious)
  • To prove to myself, and others, that I could certainly cope with the whole night and gracefully reach the `bonding stage´ – a captivating moment of seeking feeling at ease and connected to other people
  • To flirt and to meet the ‘right one’
  • To enjoy the capacity of this one great DJ to take me on a ride: a building up of a momentum that will eventually reach a peak, a high level of excitement and sophistication that I could prolong until the next day (with the help of amphetamines, MDMA (ecstasy), and whatever else is out there).

The whole set up was there with its lights, visuals, sound system, the DJ on stage, the loud music, the invisible but very present drugs, the bar and a whole variety of styles, expressions, mannerisms and gestures: lots of people, some of them looking as if they have mastered the scene, inescapably sweet teenagers, amateurs, professionals and people passionate about these technologies (like my friend) and of course enthusiastic dancers (like me).

It all felt like a huge feast of disregard, illusion and glamour, and actually was not that glamorous after all; pretty ugly in many corners and disheartening in many ways.

Craving Bonding and Connection

I felt how much we really crave excitement and togetherness, and the whole set up can make us believe this is what we get.

We can indeed think we get this momentarily and intensely through changeable waves, rides of ups and lows where we get to seemingly feel the pleasure of flowing smoothly in connection to the music and others, to then suddenly come down, feel estranged, unsettled and in need to connect back again.

It is a rollercoaster of emotions, an oscillation between euphoria and low self-esteem, and of course you may also get the seemingly steadier, unemotional and self-satisfied vibe too.

Whatever way, the booze is always there, legally sold at the bar, for rescue and support and to help ensure you can reach the next high peak where the supposed ´bonding´ happens.

What is it about this `bonding´ state? Is it a true bonding that takes place during these peaks?

Feeling into the wave, at some point I felt how I wobbled and caught myself having stepped into the “look at me, here I am in control and having lots of fun” mode, in complete disconnection to myself and my body.

I had jumped back into the illusion of recognition and identity, to then fall back into: “what the hell am I doing here?” I realised that this wave by its nature and quality was not inspiring or taking me into any true bonding state at all.

I could feel there was actually a high level of separation, jealousy, anxiousness, self-consciousness and looking for the ‘right one’ going on, all confirming our separated state and creating an oscillation between attraction and repulsion to others while seeking to keep up the good vibe.

It was now easy to recognise how I used to be shadowed by ideals, stereotypes and chemicals obscuring my true light, tenderness, sweetness and playfulness inside.

And how in this dense type of partying, nobody gets to evolve an inch from their insecurities and boredom in a lasting way, and nobody gets to truly connect with each other in true awareness and acceptance.

It just perpetuates ephemeral encounters, shallow attractions, momentarily numbing from long-held issues and the come-down/after effect results in flatness and neurosis for the rest of the week.

It is not about condemning the party, the DJs, the technologies or our right to have fun, but about feeling the possibility that we have forgotten what true connection is about, and how restless and disconnected we really are inside and in our relationship with others – that we believe these experiences are natural, true fun and a great way to feel connected to life and people.

The problem goes beyond, as our disconnection has been cementing through the passing years, when we have learned how to put up with the holes in our families and found ways to fit into certain groups.

It is a normalised way of going through life and we rarely get to hear about the grandness and wealth that lies within each one of us: at best we get in touch with seemingly life-affirming statements through religious institutions or wishy-washy new age currents with their re-interpreted truths.

It is not surprising that we are more willing to experiment with a spiral of ups and downs in order to escape from how loveless the world feels. To become part of something as a substitute and rise to its challenges by intoxicating our bodies and brains every weekend, than to explore and claim our true nature with its deep steadiness and beauty inside, in spite of how the world is asking us to be.

Returning to My True Self

In my experience I can say I lost invaluable time and life-force in this way of life in my desperate need to find myself, prove myself, free myself, meet others and belong, and funnily enough I ended up even more disconnected than before.

No regrets, but just an honest realisation that it has taken me a lot of time to clear everything from my body and brain, – plus, I endured feelings of self-doubt, flatness, emptiness, rejection of myself and others and anxiety before accepting that my search would just end if I was to simply return to my true nature inside.

To return I haven´t had to pray, use the power of my mind, choose salsa parties instead of techno parties or become a celibate, I have just chosen self-honesty, self-acceptance, self-love, self-appreciation and self-care as the new normal ways of relating to myself.

What I didn´t expect was that these would have such a huge impact, and that would unleash a very profound change in the relationship to myself, others and life in general.

How different would it be to normalise the fact that there is an inner-heart within each human being that can be nourished and honoured through the way we appreciate, accept and live our lives?

How would it be to grow up being more familiar with our divine inner qualities that we can express outwardly in our daily life and interactions? What sort of adulthood would we have if we were to choose our time and dedications wisely during our teenage years?

Why not play it big, instead of partying big, and trust that the love, sweetness and wisdom we have felt inside many times (no matter how fleeting those moments may have been) are truly what we need to honour, connect to and allow to expand without fear of how much ugliness we see around?

What if every single person, were to claim and embrace this? We would probably get a taste of what trust, true connection and brotherhood feel like every time we get together and celebrate.

In deep appreciation for having the reflection of an amazing, super loving and truly-connected community of people choosing The Way of The Livingness – as presented by Serge Benhayonas a way of life, and who are reflecting that there is truly another way to be and live life here on Earth.

 By Luz Helena Hincapié, Bogotá, Colombia

Further Reading:
How We Start Relationships
Hanging Out to Simply Be Me
My Turnaround From Competitive Running To Connection With Me

709 thoughts on “Seeking Connection in Techno Parties

  1. True connection comes from living true to ourselves, connecting to our inner essence and then allowing ourselves to connect with other people’s essence.

  2. The beauty of our own connection which interlinks all connections thereafter. Thank you Luz for sharing your experiences, deeply inspiring indeed.

  3. I remember going to a rave once. I was quite excited to meet new people. At the time I did not understand what was going on. There was this incredible sense of disconnection. It was like nobody was home. I learnt of course later that this was my first experience of seeing a mass group of people on ecstasy.

    1. It’s funny how we,(a society), get together to take drugs. A group of people with so much to share, who then choose the isolation and withdrawal that comes with the drugs. We are clearly wanting to connect or else we would surely just take the drugs within the confines of our own spaces?

      1. Yes Jenny, I agree, we want to connect, but not with true intimacy and until the understanding of what true connection feels like and can be, humanity will and are continuing to put up with a much much lesser form of BEing together. So by taking responsibility for my own connection to me and taking that out to my connection with others around me, I am beginning to make a difference.

  4. When I was young, still at school, I regularly went to night clubs, it was considered the cool thing to do, there was the excitement of freedom, dancing and being out with a group of friends, and this was at a regular place, so it was all very familiar. I was not into drugs or alcohol, it was more a sense of freedom, excitement and being with a group of friends. After school and college I still occasionally attended night clubs, but they stopped having the same appeal, this grew to the point where I didn’t like them at all, they felt horrible.

  5. Looking back at the time I went to night clubs in my life, around 16 years onwards, I was at a point in my life where I was very protected, shut down, and disconnected from my body, wanting to get away from living with my parents, so they were like an escape, and a checking out.

  6. I have wrestled with the idea of how to stay connected to people.
    Do I go to their ground i.e. night clubs and pubs. Or do I wait for them to come to my ground?

    Neither is the answer.

    As connection is the most natural thing in the world. It doesn’t take much to connect with people and when we think we need a elaborate environment to connect with people we have already disconnected from the simple fact of the ease in which connection can be had between anyone.

  7. I had a job some years ago where part of my task was to attend techno parties and raves to give out drugs and safer drug using advice. I recall the surreal quality of seeing so many people stoned on some drug or other, many with ‘the ketamine face’ where people looked just like they were about to have a heart attack with a white ring around their face. I was always on the alert for someone to keel over and occasionally they did. Everyone presented as being so separate from each, locked in their own world. I saw no connection there – ever.

  8. This blog describes the techno scene very well, with all the highs and lows associated with wanting to connect with others, but from what I have read it is so far from any true connection. I suppose my equivalent would have been the nightclubs of which I would frequent in my twenties looking for a boyfriend and the excitement of something new. Then one day I met a chap walking up the street who I had danced with several times in the club and it was the most awkward meeting ever – I felt naked without my makeup and wearing my day clothes and it just brought it home to me how un-natural the night scene in my town was. This also showed me how my behaviour changed under the influence of alcohol and the loud music, and if I am honest I never felt comfortable in the nightclub scene.

  9. Connection can’t truly be found in a moment of excitement, it only can be found within ourselves. And it can be deepened trough living in every moment.

  10. The accessibility of alcohol and recreational drugs at these parties offers young people an opportunity to let go of the burdens and pressures they are constantly imposed on and give them a sense of relief and connection but this is short lived and at the expense of their bodies for it is only by reconnecting to our true essence that we are allowed to experience our connection to the divine.

    1. The pressures and burdens you mention here Francisco continue to grow in intensity for young people, as the expectations and challenges of our educational institutions (and the fact that a college degree does not hold the importance it once did) and the competitive job market thereafter are only making it more likely for teens and young adults to find an escape through drugs and alcohol. I know that for myself, it was these pressures, and the ones I placed on myself, including a feeling of never ‘fitting in’ that lead to my own abuse of these substances for many years, until I found Universal Medicine. We need to take an honest look and appraisal at why we are creating a system of education and employment that does not ever reinforce to our youth that they have nothing to prove, are enough as they are, and if they are just themselves in full they will find where they are to work in service with ease and without difficult or complication.

    2. Beautifully said Francisco, it is absolutely amazing when we choose to reconnect to our essence. Many people are not even aware what this is so I can understand why people would be attracted to the techno scenes because I was really into them at one stage of my life. I was seeking something from these party scenes and that was, true connection. In my early twenties I realised I was seeking in the wrong place so I stopped going but now I have a deeper understand of why I would not go back to them again because they are void of love, connection or truth.

  11. I can so relate to all you share in this article. Such dance parties show how out of sync we are with with our truth. I appreciate how Luz shares SHE is the right one in her own life, she doesn’t need drugs, or ‘bonding’ or the ‘right one’ to make her life complete. Instead she connects with herself and from that commitment she is able to find a way to fulfilment that is healthy and sustaining and so truly enjoyable that these dance parties no longer have any appeal.

  12. Wow thanks for the insight into this sort of party/techno scene, I have never been part of anything like it, so appreciated an observers view. It is indeed a reflection of just how lost we’ve become, searching desperately for something to appease the deep ache of missing our true selves. You are testimony though Luz to what can be seen and felt when we begin to re-establish that connection again, thank you for sharing.

  13. It is really interesting to go back to something that you are no longer engulfed by- you see it clearly for what it is and you wonder how you could never quite see through it previously. An unfoldment that doesn’t come with rose coloured glasses but a true understanding and perspective of choices of the past.

  14. This blog really highlights how false the so-called connection can be in these situations. Because in order to survive such an experience drugs and alcohol become a requirement if there is no sense of who we truly are. And it’s sad to consider that this is excactly what occurs in childhood, an expectation for us to alter our natural state of being in order to connect to others and fit in. By the time we are adults we believe that this sober altered state is us and then alter ourselves further with the drink and drugs and partying. But if we bring it back to the body it provides us with an honesty of how we truly feel to connect that comes from the natural essence that we are and were living as kids.

  15. We have a road in our city and I am sure every city has one in that it is street of wall to wall nightclubs and bars, when I used to walk down this street early morning to go to work the scene was crazy, people completely out of it, being sick, shouting, peeing. 2 x I called an ambulance as I found people just out cold. To say that this is a way to ‘enjoy’ ourselves shows a deep level of socially acceptable insanity.

  16. I find it very uncomfortable re visiting past environments and choices, how lucky are we for finding Universal Medicine

  17. The fact is that there are very few places that offer a real connection between people, this gives the perceived excuse that this is the best we are going to get (in this case techno parties). However, this isn’t the case because if we truly ask for a different way an invisible hand is always there to support.

  18. Choosing connection through a party, food, alcohol, drugs, relationships, work you name it there is a myriad of them which lead us no where but back to where we started from when it comes from the outside in.

  19. The fact that techno dancing goes hand by hand with drugs and alcohol is not coincidence since it asks you to engage in movements that bring you to total disconnection to you. Alcohol and drugs is like the pre-anaesthesia that you get in the dentist that allows you not to feel the pain of what comes next and of what comes thereafter.

  20. I used to attend a lot of these party scenes in my late teens and early twenties without consuming any alcohol or drugs so I can totally relate to how you felt. The emptiness, the feeling of separation and lack of connection was very strong but at the time I never questioned it because I convinced myself I was having fun dancing and meeting people even though I didn’t feel great afterwards. Now I understand why I felt the way I did because I never really got to truly connect with people because almost everyone I met were either drinking or on drugs, so the meetings simply felt void of any true connection. People weren’t really themselves as I observed when they were under the influences of substances such as drugs and alcohol.

  21. I did do pubs and clubs and lots of alcohol, I sought the the same thing, connection with others, for me alongside indulgence. I thought i had these great moments of connection when I was out with friends and yet the next day I was tired and regretful. The joy and expansiveness available was not there, because it wasn’t true sustainable connection and it was laced with substances that did not support me being myself. I have parties now, because I Love having people together, still true, but there is more authentic connection now, no booze, more honesty and more openness, for me means more connection, and appreciation. Love it.

  22. Just reading this blog brings up, clearly, how I used to go to places to seek connection, when truly it is available all around and within at all times. On top of seeking it, I would smoke and drink to add to the mix, just the choice to seek creates a disconnection top of alcohol and nicotine…it is no wonder I was left feeling deflated and lonely after a night out. I have been to the pub since I stopped drinking, I have been out to dinner, I have been to parties, but they are no different from my every day life now, connection is available where ever we are open to it, not because the is ‘special’ occasion.

  23. The irony is that we all innately crave connection with others but when we go out to such places like pubs and clubs and ingest substances like alcohol and illicit drugs that actively disconnect us from ourselves, it only further separates us from others. It’s a viscous circle indeed.

  24. Luz – your blog reminded me of all the years spent partying with friends. How I used to think those friends were close ones but really the only time I spoke to them was when I was drunk or high and so I was in the illusion of what was around me and not the reality – as were they. In fact I was very lonely even though I convinced myself that I was having a great time. But I had to build a sense of self worth before I was prepared to look at true relationships and the role alcohol played in these.

  25. I used to go to Techno parties for work and had to watch the young people catatonic with Ketamine and other drug cocktails and whilst they may talk about the connection it gave before they took the drugs, there was no connection once they were smashed with them, just people totally isolated in their separation from the world.

  26. Great advice to play it big rather than surrogate what’s already there with ephemeral encounters, shallow attractions and momentary numbing. Why choose to exist when we have the choice to evolve?

  27. It does feel incredibly sad how normal it is for society to accept drugs and alcohol as being almost a right of passage growing up. How many times have we heard the sentence ‘oh she/he is still young, they’ll grow out of it, it’s normal’. It’s almost a given that a teenager/twenty something will need to experiment with such substances in order to understand life. It’s crazy.

  28. A lack of true role models I feel is what is missing here. We are slammed with images of a ‘good time’. Celebrities behaving like lunatics and glamorising being loose and out of control. It’s everywhere we turn. Family TV shows will always have the typical teenager party scenarios…further confirming that this is life.
    The entire world doesn’t know it yet, but there is another way and it’s being practiced as we speak.

  29. Luz, I have never experienced such a party but i can tell that you have nailed it completely. Of course there is no true connection with others, the whole thing is a hollow sham, but because we enjoin with the drugs and alcohol, we cannot feel any of this and can convince ourselves of whatever we want.

  30. I like the word substitute, which you used Luz, there are many things I substitute for the feelings I really want to have. We all crave love, I know I certainly do, to be seen for who we are and appreciated and accepted, it is all just in the way we choose to live that determines whether we feel this appreciation. It does of course have to come from ourselves, which is rather a good thing, as relying on another to give us acceptance feels very unfulfilling.

  31. It is fascinating when we go back and experience things we used to do that we considered normal at the time and get to feel the effect on our bodies. It is also great to appreciate the changes we have made in our lives that now we actually get to feel what is going on.

  32. Great description Luz of choosing honesty, acceptance and self-care as the way to come back to knowing your inner qualities again. It’s empowering to actually feel that we can know ourselves on a deeper level, by choosing to be more honest, aware, and loving of ourselves: no power of the mind needed, no expensive technologies or fixes, just the simplicity of our choices in every moment.

  33. How true it is Luz, we put so much effort ,exhausting ourselves, into finding connection with others by looking outwards in so many directions, I certainly have done this , when all along the connection comes from our inner heart and from a connection with ourselves first.

  34. There is an image most of us play ball with: weekends are to be extra-ordinary moments; moments when we do different things that make us feel alive. We hardly stop and ponder on the fact that going out of our way to have fun is only a natural consequence of being out of our (true) way anyway.

  35. I simply adore all that you write Luz, thank you. It is alarming how we so willingly feast on evil (all that is not of the love that we are) under the guise of connection. This shows us that in essence we truly do want to re-connect with each other, for it is what we are designed to do, but there lays many traps along the way to lure us off course and before we are even aware we are gorging at a banquet that seeks to keep us in a blinded stupor as to what is truly going on.

    “How different would it be to normalise the fact that there is an inner-heart within each human being that can be nourished and honoured through the way we appreciate, accept and live our lives?”

    This is the truth that evil seeks to mask.

  36. Such an amazing and honest blog! The power of of this is absolutely mindblowing. With every word I could relate to myself in that stage of my life, experimenting with drugs, relationships, and everything else around me, instead of looking for what’s inside of me!

  37. Your blog is brilliant Luz, it is so relatable, honest and exposing. It is interesting to reflect my experience of these parties, they were void of love, connection and fun, but I continued to attend them for years because this was what all of my friends did at the time. It was what everyone around us did for fun, we didn’t know there was another way. So, I wonder what it would look like if teenagers and young adults are shown how to have fun and connect with people without being under the influence of heavy music, alcohol and drugs. It would look like a day of celebration at Universal Medicine, where people gather to truly connect, share and express who they are. If we are able to experience this level of deep connection and love at Universal Medicine events, this means we are surely to be able to bring this to our wider community and show our young adults that there is another way and another option to party and have fun. Free of alcohol, drugs, heavy emotional music and drama, instead we can choose to gather together to experience true connection, allowing each other to be who we are and connect in a more meaningful way.

  38. Hi Luz, I can appreciate revisiting the past in order to appreciate the how far we have all come since Universal Medicine

  39. I enjoy reading how you don’t hold regret or judgement on the choices you have made or see others making but rather bring your understanding and reading on the situation that plays out. It is amazing all of the lengths that we will go to to deny the real connection that we have within us when we simply begin to explore it and the absolute solidarity that is possible when we bring this to another whether they are exploring their own connection or not. The world is full of possibilities and opens up more and more to a love of ourselves and of life when we begin to seek inside and not outside for the answers to the pain that we can feel.

  40. I recall when I was into all the dance scene when I lived in London, UK. I was so desperate for connection that I thought I could get it each weekend with a few hundred people, who largely were always off on drugs or drinking. Crazy when I think about it now, just how lost I was and was choosing such abuse for myself. Life is very different now, living in a way that is very much about connection, with myself and fostering that connection with all whom I come into contact with.

  41. Music for me was an escape of huge proportions – I could listen to any song and remember lyrics, artist, track number, breaks, drum patterns, chords etc etc. It was a constant mental block out. Add to that the need to stay isolated and protected but seemingly be part of a gathering where ‘everyone was smiling and in on the same secret’ well that was the biggest hook of all. It couldn’t be farther from the truth. We didn’t love each other – we were off our faces and couldn’t see straight let lone appreciate another, communicate deeply with another and know that this person in a few hours would actually remember who I was and me of them. It was and still remains a perfect setup – disaffected youth gather together in rebellion toward the unloving society they dwell in – whilst further isolating them selves from that society and each other. Very sad and deeply worrying that drugs are still a place where many seek solace.

  42. There is so much seeking and searching involved when we want to spend time in techno parties, I know from my experience that you don’t ever find solace, comfort or love from such parties. Only the ability to separate from yourself, to look outside or oneself for excitement, attention and recognition. Never connection, support and self care.

  43. Wow, a treasure trove of insights from an insider who used to attend techno parties.They might seem extreme and right on the edge for those who haven’t ever been, like myself, but in truth we are all looking for the one and same thing – true connection. But it can’t be found outside of us and we need to start within first. Great summary when you write “I used to be shadowed by ideals, stereotypes and chemicals obscuring my true light” – says it all, really.

  44. To read such a delightfully honest even blunt anecdote about the dance/DJ scene is refreshing… and unusual, as for most people these events are the highlight of their life.

  45. The illusion that all the distractions of bright lights, alcohol, drugs and loud music will bring a connection to others is beautifully exposed in this blog.

  46. Today’s rave scenes have an intensity and aggressiveness that has intensified over the years. No different to the porn industry, to the rise in extreme behaviours around drug abuse, tattoos, and so much more. In a desperate attempt to attain what was once thrown away or dismissed, we tend to seek the substitute that is not the real thing… Take an ecstasy pill to get a semblance of the multidimensionality you actually belong to, but without you actually being in connection to yourself or to anyone else, during that time and therefore even further away from the truth you actually seek.
    There is a longing for brotherhood in these rave scenes, and not an ounce of brotherhood to be actually felt.

  47. I feel that most of us, well certainly true for me for most of my life, go through life with so little awareness of the possibilities and potentials that are there. Night clubbing and pubbing are great ways to numb ourselves and cement in that dulled awareness.

  48. It’s funny the lengths we go to to try and connect. We go out of our way to be with one another only to consume substances which take us away from ourselves and leave us feeling like if we let our guards down we’ll really connect with people. It seems an awful waste of time, money and energy when we’re always a breath away from connecting.

  49. This brings back memories of how in my late teens/early twenties I got miserable when I had to drive my friends. I lived in the countryside so if we wanted to go out and drink it meant one of us had to drive. It was the norm to feel this way, moody and sometimes some would do their best not to drive at all. It never occurred to be back then that the need for alcohol to enjoy myself was a reflection of the relationship I had with myself, not good I have to say but it was covered and masked with the expectation of drinking alcohol. Sometimes it wasn’t a good night even if I had drank alcohol and I was left feeling down and flat, worse than I was feeling before I went out. Meeting Serge Benhayon in his reflection presented moments where I got to experience for myself what it was like to feel true connection to myself and to others then it was my responsibility to live it to the best of my ability. I have been given tools so that when I do feel sad and heavy I can come back to myself. It is a commitment to self.

  50. When you get caught up in the throes and emotions of an experience you are in so many ways blinded to what is actually going on. But when you step back and observe yourself and the world around you our clarity and understanding of exactly the same scenario is so much sharper.

  51. The verb party comes from the noun party and this comes from the Old French partie “side, part; portion, share; separation, division”. This is a word that comes loaded with separation and is an activity that fosters separation.

  52. A great expose Luz on a society where avoidance, numbing, separation and false connection is the norm, sadly so. I love your honest, awareness and commitment to yourself and humanity

  53. Looking for Love in all the wrong places! As a teenager I tried to fit into the ‘party scene ‘ to be a part of ‘social life’ but it all felt meaningless and as hard as I tried I could not be that. I used to think that there was something wrong with me – but now I know that it didn’t correspond with me because there was not an ounce of connection or true relationship in any of it.

    1. I also Jenny. Always found it difficult though because it highlighted the emptiness I would feel when I was looking in all the wrong places, be it with a relationship or a night club.

  54. A great account of what we can choose to distract or escape and in doing so what we can deny. It is great to look back and see the things that once fooled us and know and feel that they are no longer needed when true connection is embraced.

  55. “It is a normalised way of going through life and we rarely get to hear about the grandness and wealth that lies within each one of us” our illusion of what is ‘fun’ is such a massive loss to us all, we accept this version of ‘fun’ because we are not shown how it is to live with true fun and joy. Thank god for Serge Benhayon and for seeing with my own eyes a family that live this in every moment.

  56. Funny enough I just walked past a pub and it’s 5pm on a Friday night and I could see all these people drinking and chatting and knowing they all want connection. That’s what we all want but some places will support that more than others. What I find fascinating is that connection through dance and drugs including alcohol is considered so normal and it flies in the face of the facts that energetically things are quite a different matter. Because we want to connect we are willing to override the hang overs ~ whether you drink or not – due to the energy that comes with music etc. It’s that desire for oneness gone astray.

  57. ‘To return I haven´t had to pray, use the power of my mind, choose salsa parties instead of techno parties or become a celibate, I have just chosen self-honesty, self-acceptance, self-love, self-appreciation and self-care as the new normal ways of relating to myself.’ Well said Luz , it all comes back to us.

  58. Yes Helena, it is the reflections that come into our lives that give us the opportunity to discern if we are embracing who we are and our purpose in life. “we have forgotten what true connection is about, and how restless and disconnected we really are inside and in our relationship with others” The restlessness and the tension that comes from that is the foghorn from our body that we are not honouring who we are. The body is such a wonderful marker of truth – it never let’s us down, we let it down.

    1. Beautifully said Lucy “The body is such a wonderful marker of truth – it never lets us down, we let it down. Habits of a lifetime can be changed and we can restore a feeling of connection and love for ourselves that we had previously all but given up on. Allowing ourselves to feel what is going on in our bodies and becoming a lot more gentle with ourselves is a great start.

  59. I absolutely loved reading this and can relate to so much of it. This following paragraph sums up the feelings i had for so many years before coming to Universal Medicine and starting to live the Way of the Livingness. I felt an emptiness and dissatisfaction with life and found it easy to condemn others – all in judgement – and yet what it has all come back to is that my feelings about life and myself are down to the choices I make and nothing else. If I live self-lovingly and self-appreciatively I will brings this with me wherever I go. “It is not about condemning the party, the DJs, the technologies or our right to have fun, but about feeling the possibility that we have forgotten what true connection is about, and how restless and disconnected we really are inside and in our relationship with others – that we believe these experiences are natural, true fun and a great way to feel connected to life and people.”

  60. It’s like there’s this illusion that connection is something elusive or that we need to zone out in order to feel it (which isn’t really connection anyway, more the opposite…) rather than being raised to be connected with who we truly are as the norm and being supported to share this connection with everyone we meet; so it is normal and a foundational part of everyday life rather than something elusive we seek.

  61. I used to listen to all sorts of music, now I honour my sensitivity and my true feelings by now only listening to music that I know supports and inspires me.

  62. I love what you have exposed here Luz, such an interesting insight into ‘another world’ of disconnect and disregard. What you have expressed here is so beautiful and inspiring;
    “To return I haven´t had to pray, use the power of my mind, choose salsa parties instead of techno parties or become a celibate, I have just chosen self-honesty, self-acceptance, self-love, self-appreciation and self-care as the new normal ways of relating to myself.’

  63. Thanks Luz… I had the opportunity to talk to a DJ on a flight overseas once recently. It was extraordinarily illuminating… I had no idea of the very intense and deliberate manipulation that was there in every track in every bit of music all designed to, as you say ring the very last bit of emotion possible out of the audience

  64. This is a great question – “how different would it be to normalise the fact that there is an inner-heart within each human being that can be nourished and honoured through the way we appreciate, accept and live our lives?” What is required is to connect to the inner-heart and live life from that place and then people observe that there is a different way of living. The world actually needs to see the reflection of living from the inner-heart, and then people have a choice.

  65. It’s ironic that we go to these places to have fun and meet people and what we are actually doing is destroying our body and meeting altered states of consciousness where no one is truly at home and we often feel wasted afterwards.

  66. I used to really love raves and in my early 20s was very worried that one day I would be too old to go to them. I loved the attention I got from dancing and connecting with people. But actually they were places that I felt so so lost in especially around the drug taking. I so preferred the highs and lows to the dullness that was my life. So appreciate meeting Serge Benhayon and all those who reflect another way of living that is showing us we can connect and be love with one another, and that this is a natural impulse, it was just the ways I used attempt to be close with others drew me further away from knowing the beauty of who I am and seeing this in all others.

    1. Well said Karin, there is no question for me of the gift having such a consistent reflection of being yourself in our lives is. It is a game changer for a lifetimes worth of dysfunctional coping mechanisms.

  67. I used to think I loved going out clubbing and reading your sharing this morning I so realise it was not true to say that. This is a great exposé. There is a pull for connection, for all of us to come together, and sporting or music events are another example I can think of where we get attracted to the excitement and elation experienced as a group as a substitute for true connection that we are deeply missing.

  68. I remember going to parties and clubs as a youngster. There was always a huge expectation that a good time was going to be had, but it often fell short. Maybe that’s why there was always so much drinking – to drown the sorrow and feeling of emptiness.

    1. Yes the illusion that partying is great fun is simply that – an illusion. One can feel very lonely in a crowd where everyone looks as if they are having a great time. The come down afterwards if you did have a good time was horrible – only leading to the desire for the next high. Like living on a roller coaster of emotions……… Not a good way to live – and exhausting!

  69. “How different would it be to normalise the fact that there is an inner-heart within each human being that can be nourished and honoured through the way we appreciate, accept and live our lives?” One day this will be taught in schools, but until then those who know and live this truth can role model it and reflect it out to everyone they meet.

  70. It is great to look back at the things that once fooled us, and now know and feel the falseness in them; and that they are no longer needed now we have true connection.

  71. I love the words “Play it Big” rather than “Party it Big”. This one will definitely go on my words to ponder on list.

  72. The search for connection is always there and becomes a hormonal need in teenage years as the pull to enjoin rather than remain true to yourself takes hold. SO been there and done that!

  73. It is interesting to stand back and just observe what is going on as you did in the above situation, ‘I could feel there was actually a high level of separation, jealousy, anxiousness, self-consciousness and looking for the ‘right one’ going on, all confirming our separated state and creating an oscillation between attraction and repulsion to others while seeking to keep up the good vibe.’

  74. I agree, looking back these clubs were a distraction away from our true self, how great that you have now chosen to love, appreciate, accept, and take care of yourself, and are now benefiting from these choices, ‘What I didn´t expect was that these would have such a huge impact, and that would unleash a very profound change in the relationship to myself, others and life in general.’

  75. ‘I have just chosen self-honesty, self-acceptance, self-love, self-appreciation and self-care as the new normal ways of relating to myself.’ And in building a true connection with yourself the possibility of true connections with others are opened up.

  76. Just like techno parties we find many other alternatives for distraction in our lives that are just as overwhelming. The real opportunity we have from these situations is that we can learn, grow and appreciate so much more of how our bodies feel and work and how our movements and choices inevitable shape our lives thereafter.

  77. A rave or a night out has always been one that is depicted as the ultimate experiences but sooner or later one becomes fully aware that what we are searching for can only be filled so far by another substance but it is the connection and inner essence that we are looking for.

  78. What a great experience Luz! An opportunity to go back to and see what you once considered your normal for what it truly is.

  79. The massive amount of people that go dancing during weekends with the hope to connect to someone of their like is a reflection of the fact that by-and-large, we have no lived experiences of what connecting in a true way is all about. We get socialized into ways of connecting that do not really bring connection.

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