633 thoughts on “From Anxiousness and A+ in Art to Being Me in Art Expression”

1. There is so much anxiousness in the world, and its a no wonder we are exhausted. From birth we are conditioned not to be us and our true expressions, which is harder to maintain and we work to be something we are not.

   If we are encouraged and supported to be the person we truly are, it is amazing what will come through for each person. Everyone has their ability and it is different for each one of us, thank goodness, otherwise we will all be clones.

   Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and practitioners are there to bring our natural essences come through, thats all they are doing, being who they truly are and reflecting this to us – its a hell of a lot more then what anyone else has done that has been around us since birth.

2. I used to draw prolifically in my teens and early twenties but dropped it all when I was 24/25. Recently I have returned to it now and because I don’t need anything from it like I used to it’s so much lighter.

3. Thank you Kelly for sharing, your experiences of needing art to give you value are very relatable, for me it was getting high marks and I’m sure seeking recognition can come from any part of life. It’s a good reminder of how much self love there is to live still when recognition comes up, and that all we truly need comes from within.

   1. Melinda this recognition thing is a killer of a person, wanting to out do another and in that we leave behind many causalities. I think of the school days, when we are exposed to competitions, and the winner is celebrated, and the loser, well they walk away devastated and this devastation continue through their life. Its not acceptable…

4. Once we know true love and have felt it in life, we have the choice to only ever hold that as our standard or bare minimum. We do not need to accept anything lesser, however, so many times we still do, and this is where we take a sliding scale down recognition hill. It takes a lot to hold love and not drop below this especially in a world where recognition is celebrated over love.

5. We all crave love, but when love is not available in other words offered to us, we can easily want recognition as this is the closes substitute (but never even as close as fullfilling as love). Recognition can only come for what we do and not who we are, hence we always fall short and are left craving for more when we choose to accept recognition over true love.

   1. Beautifully shared, and so true we are left craving…’Recognition can only come for what we do and not who we are, hence we always fall short and are left craving for more when we choose to accept recognition over true love.’

6. To identify as an artist (or athlete, or doctor or any profession for that matter) one gives up on who one truly is and this in itself is a recipe for anxiety.

7. Playing sport was my thing, so that every aspect was considered, to allow sports to be taken into my old age, but now with the Livingness the way of sport has lost any appeal as my body is feeling amazing with simply walking and light weight training and this inspired me so much that anything else other than this Loving rhythm feels like a distraction.

8. There are no qualifications or grades for love; we just are.

   1. Can I qualify that, that Love is simply whom we are equally so, and grading seems judge-mental and that is courting an un-harmonious distraction.

9. This need to be good, to be recognised for being good is a very deep pattern that starts in childhood. We can be so accustomed to it that we don’t actually know it is there till one of the patterns shows itself in our behaviour. Therefore, it is worth choosing to build a relationship with the humbleness of ‘I wonder why’ when we do whatever it is we do, to let go of these ingrained beliefs and patterns of behaviour and feel what it feels like to not have this ‘need’ running our lives and governing our choices.

   1. This is a beautiful relationship to build with ourselves Lucy, ‘it is worth choosing to build a relationship with the humbleness of ‘I wonder why’ when we do whatever it is we do’.

10. This is a beautiful reminder that we are love first and always and that this is there no matter what we do.

    1. Spot on Monica – who we are comes well before anything we ever do.

11. There is such a difference between someone who is trying to be the best out of a feeling of being not enough and someone who is giving their all because they feel how amazing they are and just love to express all that. The first wears the person out as it is not natural to us and we will go over the borders of what our body can do. The second will be in honour of the body as when we know we are amazing we also know we need to honour and respect what our body can do and how it can do it.

12. “….. we all claim top marks in love no matter what, for simply just being ourselves.” To discover and then live realising we do not have ‘to do or be something’ to be fulfilled and fulfill our purpose turns on its head the conditioned approach to life – and it is amazing!

13. True home is not about safety. It is about being at one with the all as an eternal part of it.

14. I too get a sharp pain running down my right forearm whenever I get a sense of pushing myself. I don’t have to be doing a lot, just that slightest desire for recognition is enough for it to go ‘Stop’.

    1. This is actually a gift Fumiyo and it is great that you are appreciating the true communications of your body!

    2. I love how our body is so wise, and is always communicating with us.

15. Our body is incredibly honest about the way we live and its’ impact. We may choose to ignore or override the messages but if we are interested in working out what works and what doesn’t then a whole new lived experience is waiting for us to come home to.

16. Our expression is so different when we come from needing recognition or approval verses when our expression naturally comes from who we are – There comes a point when we begin to realise that who we are is enough and that what we do is simply a small part of that.

17. When we let go of the ‘self’ and allow ourselves to be part of a great flow we are then bringing a different quality and flavour to our work that has the potential to offer a deeper healing to another.

    1. The more we let go of ‘self’, the more we step into purpose, and what is needed, the more the magic happens.

18. We crave recognition as a form of identification when we don’t confirm our qualities within.

    1. Confirming our qualities, and who we are makes so much sense, ‘I realised that from my continual drive and pressure to be recognised for my art I was actually pushing away all I really ever wanted, and that was to be seen for who I truly was.’

19. When we have an attachment to anything we are doing and look for recognition we create a lot of tension and anxiety in the body. When we realise that we are amazing just as we are and bring this amazingness to all we do our star shines brightly for all to behold their own amazingness.

    1. Noticing and identifying attachment is a great first step in disentangling oneself from the clutches and chains of the need for recognition and hence lack of self-worth.

    2. Thank you Jill, that was beautiful to read. ✨🌟✨

20. When we ‘try’ and ‘strive’ to do anything in pursuit of recognition we lose connection with the amazing being we naturally are.

21. ‘I feel that my art allows others to be inspired and shine their own unique essence too, in whatever ways they choose, and that is a pretty amazing sight to behold.’
    This is what art is truly about: offering wisdom, communication that we are so much more than the life we live on earth, insight and opportunities for each to grow.

22. In life, we tend to settle for either what it works for us and makes us feel great about oneself or what does not work and makes us feel bad about oneself. That predominates and shadows everything else. We live detaching from the fact that whatever we concentrate in, is just one bit of the whole we call us (and in the case of the negative, it is not even true).

23. It truly is far more empowering the feel the confirmation of who we are from within, from our connection to the love we are in essence rather than seeking something from outside of ourselves through what we do. For we realise that through this connection, all that we do is then an expression of all that we already are, confirmed as such with every movement made.

    1. Yes indeed, all that we do is all that we already are and therefore the focus we can bring to the quality of our movements will be the seeds we sow that pay great dividends and be a confirmation of all that we already are.

24. ” finding that through my own gentle breath my shaky hands have completely disappeared and so has my RSI (Repetitive Strain Injury) ” . This is so wonderful is it not amazing how dedication to being who one is, brings about the healing of what one is not.

25. The way that we have perverted any sort of creativity into competition striving, achieving, is so far from what the true purpose of expression is that no metaphor is worthy of such a dire dichotomy.

    1. So true Chris, we have certainly lost the true meaning and purpose of these healing arts, through the way we have allowed them to be bastardised, and instead becoming an avenue or platform for indulgence, distraction, identification and comfort. This is a complete corruption of the true power on offer through these healing arts when expressed with true connection.

    2. So true Chris, when we try to be ‘better’ than another through competition we loose connection with ourself as we strive to fulfill an external goal rather than just expressing ourself in full.

26. I had a similar thing with singing Kelly. I was recognised for my voice early in life and from then on used it as a way to feel accepted, valued, worthy of love (attention was my version of love then). I reached a point where there was no joy in it for me anymore – it was all about what others thought. After a number of years of this I stopped singing altogether and focused on me – my relationship with myself, and giving myself all the things I thought others gave me when I sang. I statrted singing again about 3 years ago , and although when I first started I could still feel the need for recognition, I now simply love singing for the pure, unrestrained joy of expressing in this way. This is all with heartfelt thanks to Serge, Miranda and Michael Benhayon and Chris James for their inspiration and dedication.

27. This is beautiful to read about, ‘I now care for myself with a level of preciousness and depth of love I never knew possible’, and the changes it has brought to your life.

28. Inspiration is on offer as a connection from within that is expressed outwards. It can only come from the inner connection and thank goodness for Universal Medicine and the Gentle Breath Meditation showing me how to reconnect with who I am.

29. How much does our drive to be accepted in life really harm our body. No matter our flavor of drive, art, exercise, sport, horse riding, partying etc anything done with the push and drive talked about in this article takes our body to some point of stress. Whether that be RSI, or other injuries. Is it time to consider our body in the equation of life?

    1. I appreciate your reminder that drive has so many different flavours and it is the one that is pertinent to us, that we have to develop a relationship with so we can get underneath it to experience a different way in our bodies.

30. What is shared here can be applied to any thing. I especially love the change in pushing herself to do art constantly to the steady solidness to feel when to express her beauty and love through art that Kelly has shared with us here.

31. This can be a common thing – that when we show a natural talent for something or when we enjoy it, we then either get pressured, or take on pressure to be good at it. We can then identify with it and the joy that was once there seems to have disappeared. It happens when we make it about the outcome and not the process. The joy is in the being while doing not in what the doing produces.

    1. This is a very beautiful reminder ‘The joy is in the being while doing, not in what the doing produces.’
       How much have we been moulded to believe that it is the achievement of the doing that is everything?
       When this way of living is leaving us constantly empty and pressured to ‘do’ the next thing.
       When the joy of being with oneself is connected with the whole motivation of going about a task is different. It is from a space of love, understanding and self value that gives us the encouragement to do things way beyond what we ever thought we were capable of.

       1. Beautiful comment Leigh

32. In my experience art is usually something someone does to gain recognition in some way, even if that recognition is disgust or distaste for the art it is recognition nonetheless. When we express who we truly are our artistic expression is not trying to get anything from anyone but simply a true expression for others to receive.

33. Deeply caring for, loving and honouring ourselves makes a huge difference as you point out in this blog, ‘My art expression now comes through with a new light that flows from the stillness of my body in that moment,’ and inspires others in the process.

34. The more recognition we have the more we go on seeking it, a never ending thirst, seeking on the outside at the expense of who we truly are within, ‘I wanted to be seen and honoured for my art, not for the truly amazing young woman I was within.’

    1. I agree Lorraine, recognition comes from a constant drive to be ‘seen’, the connection to who we truly are and expressing from there is key to letting go of the need for any recognition or seeking anything outside of ourselves.

35. I remember realising this from quite young that when you achieved something, whether it be top of the class at school or a grand final at sport there was always a short lived satisfaction until there was a realisation that you would have to do it all over again. In other words the work that was needed to achieve was far greater then what the result gave you. Most of the time you would do all the work and then not achieve what you had set out to do anyway and this for me was more crushing. There was a constant consideration for there being more to life. Universal Medicine supported me to point myself in the right direction and stop chasing the short lived accolades outside of myself and turn my quest within. It was about a relationship with all I was feeling and not a running away to get a pat on the back. Once I began to build this relationship then life has change dramatically and the ups and downs have been replaced by an ever growing steadiness.

36. I can very much relate to that feeling of holding onto a ticket to belong – like, without it, who would I be? And reading this today, another question has risen – where was I trying to belong with that ticket? A place where I would see myself better because of what I was capable of doing? Even if I see myself belonging there at one point and feeling triumphed, feeling like ‘someone’, the next moment I would be back in my anxiousness. What a set-up.

37. “The way to change that was simple, to truly love and recognise myself for whom I was. This opened up my whole way of being in and with the world. It was an ever-growing and undoing of old habits and choices that I peeled back bit by bit when I was ready to be honest with myself and my body.” Beautifully expressed Kelly. Accepting and appreciating ourselves – with love – is the way forward. Without this we constantly compare ourselves with others – which undermines us.

38. What a beautiful transformation Kelly, it’s is very empowering when we let go of any attachments or investments we may have and just surrender to being our true selves, this is very healing in itself not just for us but for everyone who is confirmed that we are always more than enough when we are connected to love.

39. Is it any wonder that so many of us who are sensitive to the energetic quality behind any given thing, have struggled with nervous energy and anxiousness for years – in trying to fit into artistic paradigms, that are simply not truly supportive or confirming of the beings of Love that we truly are?

40. If we truly take heed to the ancient and ageless teaching – as re-awakened for us all by Serge Benhayon today – that there are only two sources of energy, and, dependent upon which we align to, our expression will either heal or harm… we would not delve into the arts so callously as to make our expression ‘all about ourselves’, in the pursuit of recognition, of fame and even the humblest of approval.
    We would recognise, the great responsibility that lays within our every expression, and endeavour to live in a way that we may deliver true art that offers nought but healing, and holds all in its equal and Godly embrace.

    1. Beautifully expressed Victoria. Yes the true art is the quality in which we live and that reflection is the masterpiece for all.

       1. Hear, hear kellyzarb. The world deserves to know our shared truth and unity in every expression – not the separative and attention-dependent ‘me’ that seeks to be falsely deified in so much of our artistic expression today.

41. We glamourise the arts so intensely in our society, don’t we Kelly… I grew up surrounded by art, artists, music, musicians, singers… all in pursuit of a ‘greatness’ – in the style, the technique, the timbre and development of a voice, the ‘learned hand’ achieving a brush-stroke of simplicity that could only be ‘achieved’ through having mastered a form…
    What was not present, or given any true value at all, was exactly what you have shared with us here, i.e. that truth in artistic expression (any form) is found in the Quality of the being that delivers it, and their attunement to that which is truly divine, of Love, and resonant as the truth of all – or not.
    Today I rejoice in the knowing that for all the supposed ‘greatness’ of technique and feats of accomplishment there may be, it matters nought if what is produced does not confirm if not expand the heart of every being, equally so.

    1. Hi Vistoria, we do glamourise the arts in society today and in many respects put many artists, musicians etc on pedestals due to their talents and yet at what quality has the work or music been produced in and with? Energetic responsibility has a big role to play and begs us to ask is it harming or holding? Anything we do holds a quality or a footprint if you like that holds a key to how the item or song etc was made. In that we can map out how the person who produced it felt and or lived just by the quality of energy felt, which offers us much to explore and discern what is truly loving and holding of all ? Without this confirmation of the divine within, then what is truly being made and is it evolving or inspiring another to confirm and expand themselves also?

       1. Exactly. Very well said, and a truth that most – yet – will not want to hear, but in time, will be known and felt by all. Of that I have no doubt.

42. One day we will all be awarding ourselves A+ in appreciation of all we offer to others by being truly ourselves.

43. What a turnaround not just in your health but in the way you approach your art and I love how you express how you are now ‘When I allow myself the space and truly feel what is there to be expressed, then painting and drawing open up a path of my life that is there to be shared with everyone.’ Rather than the constant striving to be recognised for what you do you now appreciate the value of what you offer to others which is lovely to feel.

44. Thank you Kelly for sharing you experience and insights into how the incessant frenetic seeking of recognition through knowledge leave us only at a loss as to who we truly are, feeling an enormous gap with a lack of fulfilment and underlying buzz of anxiousness and exhaustion. And, when we are simply are in connection to who we are there is no need to be anywhere, achieve anything or seek to attain any gratification, as the richness of our essence far surpasses anything that could ever be acquired from the created world outside of ourselves.

45. Thank you Kelly – I have seen your artwork and it really does inspire me to express in my own unique way. This line gives me a lot to ponder “I wanted to be seen and honoured for my art, not for the truly amazing young woman I was within.” How often do we seek recognition for what we do rather than confirm who we already are? I am beginning to see that this is actually a calculated choice because on a level we are afraid to be seen. We avoid confirmation of our natural gloriousness and instead seek recognition for what we produce and do in an effort to get by and survive all in the name of protection.

    1. Yes Leonne we seek approval and validation from something that is outside of us which acts as a protective mechanism i.e stops us from connecting to the love we are already and then also holds others at arms length too. It’s quite funny to see the great lengths we will go to, to inevitably keep us locked in comfort and deny our truth. This not only halts our evolution but that of others too.

46. “My art expression now comes through with a new light that flows from the stillness of my body in that moment.” Such a profound change from where you were Kelly. So many of us have been inspired by Serge Benhayon’s reflection and love for us all, allowing us to make true choices for our lives. Thankyou for sharing your story which many can relate to – if not with art – maybe with sport, music, academia etc.

47. I love that with honesty you were able to let go of all you were seeking through your art, let go of who you were not and connect to who you are to then express that in not only your art but all you do. Stunning.

48. I totally agree Kelly, the constant craving for recognition can be absolutely insatiable.

49. Art either evolves or we try to replicate an image we have, I loved your question ‘What quality was I really bringing to my art?’ We so often get lost in the doing we forget about the quality of ourselves, and is the quality that is reflected in the piece of art. When we take the quality of our Livingness to what we do there is no need for images as something can naturally unfold, the art becomes an expression of your lived quality that is then reflected to all those who look at it.

50. We have all found our own way, our own ‘fixes’ to get that recognition haven’t we? There is so much familiarity of an old way in what you share in this blog and yet there is a different way to be with ourselves that means we don’t look out to the world for acceptance and recognition at all. The more we look after our bodies the more this connection builds to a solid foundation.

51. So the strive and drive to be recognised for art is no different to running a marathon that leaves you exhausted, drained and with damage to the physical body.

52. I am finding that it is not about the end results and how well it looks whatever that may be but the quality of energy I have chosen to do it in and then however it turns out, it simply doesn’t matter.

    1. Hi Caroline yes I love the word quality for what it embodies is a way to move and connect with the soul that reflects such love. It is infectious for us all and deeply inspiring.

53. Beautiful blog Kelly, and I love what you shared about honesty: it’s only when we’re honest with ourselves that we can start to recognise and let go of old patterns and choices that don’t support us and aren’t part of who we truly are.

    1. Yes Bryony for it is the honesty that allows for a deeper commitment to how we are living and gives us the space to be who we truly are. Thank you.

54. ‘I feel that my art allows others to be inspired and shine their own unique essence too, in whatever ways they choose, and that is a pretty amazing sight to behold.’ And is all there is to inspire another to connect to who they are.

55. The flow of stillness in our body feels exquisite. When we live with this level of stillness, everything we do comes with ease and quality. This allows the spaciousness to be felt in our body and our movements then reflect this quality of stillness that is simply magical.

56. Unfortunately most people think that they can push their body and just keep pushing without any consequences… The thing is that our body will eventually always reflect back to us what we have been putting on it or imposing upon it, and we see the results of this all throughout society.

    1. …and then eventually we all learn that there are consequences for everything we do.

57. Great line Kelly about striving for recognition “…I was actually pushing away all I really ever wanted, and that was to be seen for who I truly was.” This really brings home the futility and reality of recognition, and how it’s up to us to stop that painful cycle, and realise it’s ok to simply be ourselves and that we are enough.

58. I can relate to getting and craving recognition for what I do as that has been a big one for me too. Recognition is like a pot with a hole in it – you can never fill it up as it just leaks away and we need more and more to counteract the flow out. Now that I know that I am complete already and I just need to appreciate and express I do not seek recognition in the same way. There is no leakage from the wholeness that I am – I am always full -it is just sometimes that I don’t connect and live fully from this special place.

59. Thank you Kelly for sharing your experience in an open and so honest way. I can very much relate what you shared about painting with anxiousness. When I finish my Illustration career I started to develop a style which was accepted by many people. I started to receive the recognition for that and then I felt pleased and encouraged to paint more in this way. I wanted to be seen and show to everyone my worth. I valued myself based in what I could paint along the day. If I didn’t I judged and pushed myself to draw more and more. I felt quite sad and uninspired inside but I still chose this way of living thinking that it was the only one possible. I lived in this way of creating until I started to suffer insomnia and anxiousness. To cope with this uncomfortable feeling I used to drink alcohol as a way to relieve. But the things became worse and then I started to see that my body was crying out for something else. With the support of some estoteric healing practioners I could start to take full responsibility of my body and make changes in my life. It was so beautiful for me to realize how my body started to regenerate. The more I made loving choices the more my life became wonderful again. I started to feel more vital and joyful and then I stopped to draw in the way that I used to. I allowed myself the space to feel again and to reconnect with my inner and natural creativity. For me today it’s a constant unfolding and developing where I’m be able to observe where I am at in every moment and in connection with my body I draw or paint, not to get the recognition but to bring all of me to the world through my creative expression.

60. When we want to be recognized for what we do we completely forget that the quality that we do everything in is the most important ingredient of the true art of everyday life.

61. What a huge difference we experience in our body when we express looking for recognition instead of expressing our true essence. This blog is a great showing of this.

    1. Indeed Amparo, the difference is huge and always is a great moment to be honest with ourselves to observe where we are at before express anything.

62. Thank you for sharing, the way we are investing in what we do and craving recognition from this is incredibly draining on our body. While we are so much more and living this, who we truly are, is the most amazing support we can give ourselves.

63. Kelly, thank you for your story. If anyone has RSI (repetitive strain injury) there is the answer in your story. Doing a repetitive action devoid of the loving self. Living and working in this way could not be good for us.

64. A vivid description of the impact we can have on the body when we go into strive and drive instead of knowing we are always enough as we already are.

65. Thank you Kelly for sharing your unfolding path as you shared, it really is peeling one layer off at a time. Which reveals all that beauty and love that resides in us all and we can all agree the more loving and precious we are with ourselves, the more inner beauty is released for all to see and feel. Great sharing.

66. Recognition takes on many forms , art was not mine but incessant doing was. as you say it is not about the painting or anythings else but the true value of anything lies in the quality of expression and presence that is brought through us to what we are doing.

    1. I agree Jill, when we express from our own essence, there is no pressure to do anything, we just express from the inside out.

67. I was also obsessed with getting A+’s. In fact, in my school, we had A+++’s! I’m not sure it was a good thing that I got them so often because it became an expectation I had on myself to always get them, to always be perfect. Thank goodness I have seen the error in the belief that anything can ever in fact be perfect. These days, it’s all about quality and rhythm, expressing me in whatever it is I do.

68. The work of returning to who we are encompasses every aspect of life and hence every ill in our body responds and seems to return to harmony sooner or later.

    1. Beautifully expressed Emma. Yes that is the divine truth for us all. Our bodies are our forever teachers and healers all rolled into one grand package. Thank you.

69. Kelly this is a very useful piece for us all, to see how we invest in outer pursuits, whatever flavor they take for us, in lieu of being the precious beings that we are and living our talents from there. Re-kindling a life from this inner connection takes time and lots of letting go, with absolute self-honesty about how we have been living so that the gloriousness of our stillness can be the new foundation for our action. It feels like you have found that in your Art and what a blessing that is for us all to receive the beauty of you in your work.

70. I too used art to escape, in my teens it was all about fantasy art and going into a world where my problems did not exist (or that’s the lie I ran with as the issues and emotions and not feeling good enough remained). The online art world is a great place to hide and at 13 this is where it really took off, the drive and striving to get ‘likes’ and ‘favourites’ and ‘comments’ is like a drug, a great momentary hit, relief and recognition. I’ve never really stopped and reflected on this drive to be liked by what I do that spanned over 13/14 years (if not starting earlier) but it makes sense as the more I am listening to my body the more this drive can be felt. The drive itself feels disturbing yet the lie on top defends and justifies it’s existence, but the body is great in saying that defend and justify all you want, it’s still not true. There is more to this I can feel, Thank you Kelly.

71. Having the awareness we are already completely takes the need for recognition or approval away, and with this knowledge comes the freedom of carrying out tasks from our essence without any attachments of approval outside of ourselves

72. Kelly the choices you have made in your life are deeply inspiring to read, when we begin to truly love and care for ourselves any need we had for recognition from the outside begins to naturally fall away as we embrace the qualities and beauty within.

    1. Yes Anna its the need that keeps us caught in a damaging cycle of control and recognition to reign havoc. Letting go of this need allows ourselves to revel in the beauty we hold within. We then have the space to breathe and be exactly who we are without the pressure to be doing all the time to reach a destination that we can never really get to.

73. There are so many people, as Kelly so clearly expresses, that are looking calm on the outside, and develop this ‘look’ but there is havoc within…. And eventually what is within always is revealed on the outside.

74. Recently my children played around with mixing colours asking me what colours made other colours. They had so much fun and so did I. The experience made me stop to realise and appreciate how much I loved mixing colours without being under pressure to paint. Reading Kelly’s comment has helped me to confirm this.

75. “… making art is purely about being with myself in that moment…” – these words are so healing helping me to let go of the ideals and beliefs I took on around what art ‘should’ be to fit in with those around me. I can feel the joy in my body that has always been there but never felt as there was so much anxiousness in my body whenever I produced art.

76. Kelly I could feel the difference in your being by reading your blog and what an immense difference you must feel while doing art now. What once seemed like a burden now shines light through you – what a gift.

77. There is a HUGE difference between doing something to be recognised and doing an activity from the self-acceptance and honour of who we are. The truth is that when we forget or don’t know the divinity and depth of love that we are, we are left floundering in a sea of hurt and thus seek love from somewhere (anywhere) external.

78. Dear Kelly that was a very exposing blog – you showed that if we only looking for recognition we are not living our truth. I love your honest question: “What quality was I really bringing to my art?” How would our art look like if this question would be asked by all artists around the world????

    1. Thank you Esteraltmiks. “What quality was I really bringing to my art?” What I love about this question is that it can be applied to all areas of our lives not just art but everything. It really comes down to the quality we do everything in life including simple daily jobs like sweeping the floor or folding our laundry. It really brings our connection with ourselves to the forefront.

       1. That is a great reply Kelly and I can feel what you mean by what you have shared in your amazing comment. It is all about how I do things instead of what and how much I do.

79. Isn’t it amazing to recognise that fact that when we are doing things for the external world to justify our existence, we are ignoring the amazing love that we are on the inside. Simply through reconnecting to ourselves through breathing gently we no longer need to seek recognition from others and can just be joyful in whatever we do knowing how amazing we are, because it is there to be felt in everyone.

80. This is a great expose of how we can get caught up in what we do, looking for recognition rather than knowing we are enough first and foremost.

    1. ‘Knowing we are enough’ is a worldwide epidemic as hardly anyone knows who they are when they are stripped from their identifications, roles, various hats and accolades. This is a rather large concept to grasp for many and yet extremely simple once one has returned to the inner feeling and sense of ‘completion’ that already exists in our connection to our inner heart.
       We hold a knowing that beats all thoughts and an absoluteness about the ‘enough’ we are truly all worth, all the time.

81. “to be honest with myself and my body.” isn’t it amazing how all the answers we want can come with such simplicity and ease by choosing love and listening to our body – full stop. Yet we as a society spend so much time, money, effort and energy on complicating things, searching outside ourselves, even on others planets for the answers to everything, there’s a constant franticness and motion of looking for the next thing, the next face cream, the new weight loss plan, health food, solution to all our problems and woes, personal and as a society, yet the simple answer has been presented to us for the past 12 years by Serge Benhayon, and right throughout history by many others as well. It seems to me that we as a world are running away from what deep down we all want the most … love.

82. There is so much emotional turmoil in art and this is championed, celebrated and seen as something great to wallow in and express, The ‘ideal’ romantic picture that has been painted and fed to us of an ‘artist’ throughout the years, from either living in little paris apartments, the glamour of hanging out with all the cool artists and people or struggling, poverty stricken with so much emotion and passion, trying to get us to sympathise with them, then making it big. Both are trying to create some sort of false identity, an illusion, and a means for many to escape – it may be from hurts, sadness, emptiness and or just not liking what they feel around them growing up.

83. “But what was I taking on in my body from these endless pursuits to be seen” if you look at many famous artists dead and alive their health, well being and lives are / were a mess, you can see this reflected through their body, face and eyes.

84. I have witnessed many people go through art school and been there myself, who are completely disillusioned when they get there. Having spent their whole childhood loving art and it being all they ever wanted to do when gearing up, to then often being met with a complete lack of care and disregard for people and their expression. Many people feel like giving up, and do – and not just in the art sense, art colleges are rife with drug and alcohol abuse. So may people feel or have felt that everything they enjoyed about being creative got squashed at art school. For example those who love simply drawing and painting are often told their work is boring and they need to make it more interesting or contemporary, with the emphasis being on the current trend which may be, very conceptual and hence their work is marked on the assessors personal preference rather than their work being appreciated and nurtured for what it is.

    1. Yes this is very true what you have shared here Gyl. Many artists today have been assessed and pushed and pulled into something that is far from what is true, to be recognised and have their work loved by others. The one fundamental element that is really missing is their own connection and acceptance of self. This is where true art lies.

    2. Gyl the other facet of being an artist is unless you have a reputation and your signature deemed of value, most people do not look to feel the work on face value, they have been conditioned to think of art as an investment so most artists strive to create an image and reputation that is saleable. This is a trap as there is no free expression in painting to please the buyer. I now paint freely and in whatever direction I feel impulsed and the comments I have received reflect this as people say they can feel I the joy in my work.

85. Yes Syliva, “great you could bring the art to a new more true level which then can bring service to the receiver.” When we get caught up in the intellectualisation of art, a head stimulation, we miss the power of what art can truly bring into our homes, our galleries…it can bring inspiration as the artist brings the expression of their essence to the form…a reminder that each of us have the same power in different experiences!

86. Kelly what you have shared here shows how we can live in a way that puts a lot of pressure on ourselves, where we use our talents, or even failures (so to speak) to get recognition and a sense of worth that we belong to our community, whether it be family, a club, the school classroom, our work place, anywhere, everywhere. We loose connection to the inner value, our natural richness within, and forsake this for the outer to confirm who we are….this becomes very exhausting. Such a joy when we realise – ‘hang on, its all here in me, I am naturally amazing and its actually TRUE!’

87. Kelly this is a very light hearted and beautiful blog that brought inspiration and an enormous smile to my face. Your expression in words is also an art, as it is from your essence.

    ….”I feel that my art allows others to be inspired and shine their own unique essence too, in whatever ways they choose, and that is a pretty amazing sight to behold.” I would love an art work of yours in my home anytime!

88. I now know that my love is an A+ and we all claim top marks in love no matter what, for simply just being ourselves. I love this line Kelly, reminding us to appreciate the value of our own exquisite love first before anything else, as our love is enough, our love is everything.

89. Growing up art was all I every wanted to do, there were no other thoughts about any other career, right from primary school. Yet I found the art world a cold, unloving, place to be, that is wasn’t about people or true expression, but actually about abuse, elitism, competition and drive. People were ridiculed and dismissed if they didn’t fit into the current trend, or the next big thing. I also found it could also be a way to be demoralized if you are not into contemporary art and are just there because you love to paint. I worked in many areas of the arts, from lecturing, gallery installs , exhibitions and working at a world famous Arts Biennale, all of which felt the same to me – false, loveless and empty.. All this a far cry from what I know true expression to be which is the ability to express straight from your heart and Soul, where there is no need for competition, recognition or acceptance.

90. You show what we do to ourselves and how we affect everyone else when we create anything for just ourselves and our own status by seeking recognition, Kelly. A gold star for Love, that is so perfect, co-creation with Love includes us all and there are no medals for the individual.

91. There is a responsibility that we each have to be a part of expression on earth, wether that be through the images, the words, or the movements we make. All of life is an expression of either who we are, or who we would like to be seen to be. One is confirming of everyone, and the other is a singular act that leaves us all with less.

92. Very lovely Kelly – ‘ I now know that my love is an A+ and we all claim top marks in love no matter what, for simply just being ourselves. That definitely deserves many glorious shiny gold stars in my book.’

93. ​Gold star from me too Kelly Zarb! Come to the office and collect it! On a serious but an extremely play-full note (LA-LA-LA !!), how many of us owe what we now know to Serge Benhayon and the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom. Living life has not been the same. I remember when Serge presented, in the love that I knew, that I Am a Son of God. I could not argue, defend or deny what he energetically revealed. It was the answer I was deeply seeking. Yes, I had major issues with God and religion, but it was the best ever news to know I was home again !!!

    1. I too had issues with God and religion before Universal Medicine and I have only recently been saying to myself throughout my days ” I am a son of God,” and the knowing and power I feel once the words leave my mouth is magic. A beautiful homecoming indeed Rik.

94. Yes Brendon chasing recognition is a pressure vs. the joy in expressing the love that we feel is a contrast indeed. The end results communicate more than the eye can see and you definitely feel the difference.

95. Yes Kelly it’s a very different experience when we work to produce under the pressure we self impose. When we paint from an impulse and a love the results reflect a very different feeling picture.

    1. The paintings reflect the light we hold within ourselves because the painting has been expressed from us for everyone. I recently cleared out all of my old artworks and many of them felt quite yucky and held a lot of emotion. To be able to now feel the difference to how art can be expressed is huge.

       1. Most artists literally painting their emotions on a canvas and this inevitably adds more weight to the art than any ordinary scale can pick up.

       2. Art was also a subject I was good at and it gave me the recognition I so wanted, so much so that I have kept the art work I did at high school. Reading Kelly’s comment made me feel so uncomfortable and I began to shed a few tears! Even though the art work I did back then was laced with emotions, especially sadness, there is still an attachment to the work, an attachment to the recognition. Thank you Kelly for sharing and giving me an opportunity to look at how art and myself was playing out back then and how I have avoided painting ever since.

       3. I have come to realise that holding onto something that does not support me harms, not only myself, but others too. A healing occurs when I let it go – it is such a loving thing to do for myself.

       4. “To be able to now feel the difference to how art can be expressed is huge.” I loved reading the appreciation Kelly has for herself in where she is today, supporting and inspiring me to deepen my appreciation for my self.

96. I was just imagining a world where we are all shining stars first and foremost, simply for being who we are. If we all felt that for ourselves, and of each other, there would be no need for distinction and competition. We would all be free to pursue our natural talents with no loading other than admiration for and support of each other’s expression. Thus there would be as much joy for the artist as the plumber as the CEO as the radiographer and so on. Much simpler, and much more lovely than our current state of affairs.

    1. Totally agree with this Victoria Lister.

    2. Beautifully said Victoria – we all have natural talents, it is not about being good at something, but sharing the wealth of our talents, as our talents are shared and celebrated for the value it brings… it is not needed for self, but the joy to share with others, our communities….we are all pieces of one amazing jigsaw puzzle, and each piece is equally important to all the others…without that piece, it is incomplete.

97. It strikes me the quest for recognition, for individuation, can start very young. Given young children lack the cognition to set their minds to the task of carrying out ambitious plans, this seems to me to indicate we come in to each life riding on the back of past momentums, patterns and tendencies. In other words, it indicates a truth about the reality of reincarnation.

98. It’s interesting how early on we can seek recognition. I too went through seeking recognition through art (and art history) in high school. Good academically (but not extraordinary), not interested in sport or music and not quite prefect material, I honed in on the one thing I was reasonably good at. I also had a mother who had trained as an artist and used to get her to help me, passing our combined efforts off as solely my own. And this was all for a shot at the art prize! Suffice to say it never came my way on the occasions that was possible and did in indeed go to the girls who deserved it. Interesting to understand in later years, via work inspired by Universal Medicine, the dynamics behind this scenario.

99. One thing I really appreciate about so many of these blogs is the exquisite honesty of their authors and of many of the subsequent repliers. We are all learning so much by sharing what is real for us without holding back. We are all bridging ourselves back to love. Thank you everyone!

    1. I love the honesty too Victoria. We are learning so much everyday from what is shared. Inspirational power houses everywhere.

    2. This is the work – absolutely Victoria. We are returning back to love – where our home is our heart. Thank you.

100. ‘If I stopped I felt like someone else would be waiting in the wings to take my place and that my golden ticket of belonging would be pulled from my grasp at any time.’ I’ve discovered, on returning to university to do a research degree, that a similar panic underpins researchers – the ever-present fear someone, somewhere else, has investigated your topic ahead of you. Hence the extreme narrowing down of topics – if you claim a particular space, hopefully no one else will get there ahead of you. This is just one of a multitude of pressures the research community lives by – and it’s not a good way to live.

     1. Yes Victoria it really is quite restricting on how we are in the world, when recognition is allowed to roam free. When we bring all of ourselves to everything we do, there is no room for judgement, comparison or recognition. What is needed is right there for us ready waiting. This is possible when we are connected to ourselves. That’s a pretty amazing way to study and really be in life.

101. It is beautiful to read how your artwork can flow through your body when you are connected to your stillness within Kelly. What a difference from the way a lot of artwork is created. And how lovely for all that get to see and experience your artwork and feel the quality is was created in.

102. Kelly, you have highlighted so beautifully just how much striving for recognition keeps from feeling our true worth. It’s a fact that we are all encouraged to strive to be recognised in some way or another, be it through excelling at sports, cooking etc or doing charitable things for others. There is a huge difference to be felt when we know that we are enough and can then bring that quality through in all that we do.

103. A pretty clear example of how a talent may turn into our worst enemy in terms of truly evolving since we can hide behind it and no one will notice because we make us what we deliver. This is where we want people to stop and stay. Not a step forward please. Talents, however, can be re-imprinted for the best making them a true expression of our being.

104. We are set up from day one to search for recognition, when it is true Love that we are missing.

105. When I read this: “I realised that from my continual drive and pressure to be recognised for my art I was actually pushing away all I really ever wanted, and that was to be seen for who I truly was.” it came to me that YOU yourself are the art that is calling to be recognised and the person that needs to recognise it is you which is what you also say later in the blog and applies to all of us!

     1. Absolutely Nicola. Recognising that we are the art built from heaven applies to all equally so. Awesome indeed.

        1. That’s gorgeous. We are all living statues of David or portraits of Mona Lisa – reflections of heaven made real.

106. “I now know that my love is an A+ and we all claim top marks in love no matter what, for simply just being ourselves. That definitely deserves many glorious shiny gold stars in my book.” Gorgeous Kelly, the love that we all are definitely deserves top marks, this idea takes away the loveless way we as humans push ourselves to achieve and gain recognition, I often feel when we celebrate people and their achievements, what we are actually saying is the more self abuse and pushing yourself you do, the more we will celebrate you, this makes no sense.

     1. ‘…the more self abuse and pushing yourself you do, the more we will celebrate you…’ Absolutely Thomas, this is the current set-up and how sad that is – self-abuse is rewarded and celebrated. This becomes easily apparent when you listen to, say, an athlete talk about their gruelling regime but the truth is we all do versions of this in our own way.

107. “I realized that from my continual drive and pressure to be recognized for my art I was actually pushing away all I really ever wanted, and that was to be seen for who I truly was.” I felt the impact of what you shared Kelly, in needing recognition and approval from others in what I do with my work Etc., even when I get lots of recognition and praise it leaves me empty and unsatisfied as I am not being met for who I truly am, but also I have to ponder do I really let people in to see who I am, or am I playing roles and ticking boxes of what I think I should be to be loved and accepted?

     1. Great questions Thomas. There is no room for love to be truly felt or accepted when we are in constant drive for recognition.It is a losing battle.

108. “My friends would always comment on how calm I always seemed, especially during exam periods or if we had a major assignment due, but internally I was a complete mess of nervous energy.” This is a very honest statement Kelly, people have often said how calm and realized I seem, but inside I have felt completely stressed and anxious, we learn to wear a mask so to speak a face that we want the world to see and believe about how we are, we even start believing this false way of being as our true selves.

     1. So true Thomas, we stray away so far from what we know is true in our hearts to become someone we are not. And we get bombarded with all of this attractions and the neediness from others and the neediness from ourselves that feeds this vicious cycle.

109. That outside recognition can be given but then it can be taken away. I was given a job once and I loved the recognition in it. When it finished I felt very low and realised how I had bought into it. Years later listening to Serge Benhayon, the things he said about searching for identification with outside pursuits rang so true because I had felt this in my body before. There are many ways to seek it and I am forever vigilant. Now I appreciate the qualities I have within me and know I am enough.

     1. Gorgeous Amanda. I feel that is key – understanding the qualities we embody and bring and value these, not the externalities of what we do. Even though what we do can be outstanding, what we do might not necessarily make anyone look twice either. But who we are and how we do what we do matters always.

110. The ways in which we can chase recognition is many and varied even for one person. I know I have chased qualifications, skills, jobs, roles, social and sporting activities, behaviours, moods and even how I have been sick to gain recognition. I see people in hospital seek recognition through being sick. All of this seeking just keeps us away from meeting ourselves and we are so worth meeting.

     1. Recognition is ingrained in almost everything we do as you say Jennifer, and from a very young age we are praised for what we can do “great mark for maths’, “wow you can tie your shoe laces now”, “clever you, you are using a spoon all by yourself”. We forget the part of us that is perfect just as it is. We would not need recognition if we were seen and accepted for who we are, rather than what we do.

     2. This is fascinating, to realise how much effort we put in to seeking recognition. I am working on letting go of seeking recognition and to appreciate who I am. When I fully appreciate myself no recognition is needed. Amazing how powerful appreciation is.

111. The pursuit of recognition is exhausting and as you found Kelly can also lead to pain or illness in the body. What Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine offers us all is the knowing that all we ever need is already within, and that when we choose to honour and live that we no longer need recognition or anything from outside of ourselves.

     1. Stopping is so underrated and is the first step towards “knowing that all we ever need is already within”

        1. Not only is stopping underrated but society applauds all who are continuously busy, multitasking and achieving constantly. To begin to stop can often be a much bigger task than we realise as it is something that we have long forgotten how to do but once we do we reacquaint ourselves with it we quickly find how simple and powerful a tool it is.

112. Love the blog Kelly. “When I allow myself the space and truly feel what is there to be expressed.” I related to a lot of what you say but particularly this line. In my song writing I am finding this delicate relationship of having the impulse and then remaining open to feel what and how to express is a joy to unfold.

     1. Wow Tim that’s beautiful what you have shared here. Yes how exquisite is it when we allow the space for our expression in everything, be all it can be without holding back. Absolutely awesome. I would love to hear some of your songs one day.

     2. I love these words “delicate relationship” it is the delicateness that is the pathway to been open!

113. We are definitely all A+ underneath the false B’s, C’s, D’s and E’s we’ve accumulated on the way.

114. “My art expression now comes through with a new light that flows from the stillness of my body in that moment.” How true these words are Kelly, and for all of our expression, which is everything.

115. The continuous drive to be recognised in ANY subject is exhausting, because we are telling ourselves that who we are is not enough – crazy when we are made from heaven, and all we could possibly be from our first breath.

     1. I absolutely loved your expression here Meg, thank-you.

116. Interesting how when we express from our essence, the expression serves everyone, as you share here, Kelly. In recognition there is only an empty acknowledgement of what we have done – and nothing for anyone else.

     1. That is so true coleen24 and to allow our self to feel this clear distinction means that we allow ourself to take our next step in our advancement.

117. I had a clear sense of the time we miss away from our essence when we follow the socially prescribed routes to acknowledgement of our talents and achievements. We seriously need to be confirming the validity of ourselves in connection, without the need of recognition of what we do.

     1. Well said Coleen, the validity of ourselves is the key.

118. Awesome sharing, Kelly. I recall graduating Dux of one Uni course and then having the feeling that I had done and accomplished everything that had been asked and I still didn’t feel right. I had a couple of anxiety episodes in reaction to this and then went on to an intense fitness regime to numb my body in response to the huge internal agitation I felt. Universal Medicine was a couple of decades later for me……when it offered the understanding of what had occurred at that time.

     1. Yes Coleen24 it may be a couple of decades later, but your body knew that it was a beautiful choice to make. That’s what I love so much about our bodies, they hold the wisdom for all the answers in the world. A major appreciation for the wisdom and truth we all carry within.

        1. A lovely confirmation of our bodies, Kelly – in connection with our essence, they truly offer all the insight and wisdom we could ever need for this earth life.

119. Anxiousness turns us into completely different people, making completely different decisions.

     1. And unloving ones at that.

     2. Yes this is true Matthew. These decisions have come from our heads and not from our hearts. Anxiousness is a disconnection from what is true.

     3. I love it – this is so true, anxiousness can make a person completely unrecognisable. I know that I both feel a different person and make very different decisions when I am anxious. You are spot on.

        1. I agree Matthew is spot on. Since I got this insight I was much more aware of my different decision when I was anxious and this helped me to be more understandable with myself and that helped me not to be so hard with me and that I love very much.

     4. Of course, because when we are anxious, we are not ourselves anymore. It is like when we are anxious, we abandon ourself and are beside ourselves rather than within.

        1. Yes great point Rosie. The anxiety is running us and it is not us anymore. So then anything done in this energy comes laced with emotion. Quite yucky to feel.

120. Although it wasn’t ‘art’ for me, this blog is certainly one I could relate to as there have been many other things in life – including mothering and business – that I could equally substitute for art… and the sentence “I would use food as a distraction, to numb myself from the continual feeling of tiredness and anxiety I felt from the push to always be doing more” has equally rung true for me! I still sometimes get caught up in ‘doing more’ and also using food as a distraction, but am much more aware and willing to be honest about why, and when I am honest in this way, can feel that I ‘do more’ when I feel I’m not enough. Being aware of this is something that would not have been possible without introducing self-care and connection to myself, and provides me something to come back to when I feel myself pushing myself in this way for external reward or feedback, rather than the natural internal confirmation that comes when I connect to within.

     1. Yes – I find that learning the difference between and feeling the difference between pushing to do more, especially motivated by a need for external recognition and acknowledgement, and self confirmation through feeling my innate self is HUGE. When I find I have gone into ‘push’ I’m always amazed that I went back to that nonsense when self confirmation feels so lovely. These old patterns put up a fight to be discarded, but discarded they will be 🙂

        1. Yes, Coleen, pushing to do more requires us to disconnect from what we are feeling. By stopping for a moment to re-connect, we are guaranteeing the quality of our next task as it resets us back to a more loving way of being.

        2. This is one of the seemingly most challenging things for me I have observed. And it lies in this lack of appreciation and self confirmation of my own power. The push is always done with one eye on the ‘others’ seeing if they can see what is being done. Exposes the desire to get ahead rather than as Janet has explained – connecting and guaranteeing the quality of the next moment.

        3. Those wandering eyes, Lee: I know them well! Observing them, period, but especially with humour, works for me. A speedy return to quality is possible in the humour of the observation 🙂

     2. Yes Angela food was a big escape for me and to be honest I was never really hungry in these times it was more to stop myself from feeling just how unhappy and anxious I really was. because I was in constant motion I never really felt what was going on within me and the turmoil I was playing apart in. Now choosing to stop and see what’s really going on opens up a greater awareness and allows the opportunity for different choices to be made. There is always more to appreciate from being connected to ourselves and the learning that follows is huge.

        1. I must say that I was very creative in finding things to numb my feelings for example with art, pottery, sport, cooking, sewing, painting, singing, music, pets and more.

     3. It is ridiculous how complicated we make things when we are already everything we have ever wanted and looked for and so very much more!

        1. Yes Nicola, once things are seen for what they are, it does seem ridiculous…

     4. This is all very true Angela, the using food as a distraction, the looking for recognition, and the do do do doing was not something that I was aware of in the slightest way until I met Serge Benhayon and attended the Universal Medicine courses and the Way of the Livingness presentations. So appreciative of knowing what I know today and feeling enough just being me.

     5. Recently I have been more focused on what was there is front of me to do rather than how I lack presence and procrastinate, but what I have realised is there was a ‘pushing’ to get things done. Reading “… I ‘do more’ when I feel I’m not enough” is so true and a great reminder to deeply ponder on, offering me to connect to my self more deeply making the confirmation of the connection with my self priority and not the task at hand.

        1. So true Caroline – when we’re connected to ourselves, what we’re actually doing, and how much we get done, doesn’t matter so much because we’re enjoying the process and just being ourselves in what we’re doing. There’s a lightness, flow and ease. When we make it all about the task and getting it done, and we’re doing it from an emptiness, wanting the task to connect us to ourselves, there’s a drive and a determination that feels heavy and a slog.

121. True art always starts with true connection first. Simple.

     1. Yes Kate and art is meshed throughout our lives because we are all masterpieces just being who we are in connection with ourselves. Absolute magic.

        1. “We are all masterpieces just being who we are” Amazing truth. How beautiful world would have if we teach this at schools. If we see and value children for who they are rather than for what they do. If we encourage them to connect to their bodies and honour their feelings. If we support them to connect with their inner and natural creativity that is already there perfectly designed to be connected. Sadly this is not the case in the current educational system where following the norms about what art is the normal way to teach children to paint. The flowing and connection with true creativity is blocked in a very early ages to teach the next “The more you paint the best artist you are because you get more practice and recognition for it” In consequence the cases of anxiousness, depression, alcohol and drugs consumption…are increasing more and more. This facts are talking about that something is not so right and that maybe we have to question our current way of paint and live. The current way of teaching art is not supportive and inspiring in any way. Many struggles and suffering comes up as a result. It’s the time to consider another way of painting where we can take full responsibility about the quality of our expression and ourselves. It’s the time to re-develop a true school of art.

        2. “We are all masterpieces just being who we are” Amazing truth. How beautiful world would have if we teach this at schools. If we see and value children for who they are rather than for what they do. If we encourage them to connect to their bodies and honour their feelings. If we support them to connect with their inner and natural creativity that is already there perfectly designed to be connected. Sadly this is not the case in the current educational system where following the norms about what art is the normal way to teach children to paint. The flowing and connection with true creativity is blocked in a very early ages to teach the next “The more you paint the best artist you are because you get more practice and recognition for it” In consequence the cases of anxiousness, depression, alcohol and drugs consumption…are increasing more and more. This facts are talking about that something is not so right and that maybe we have to question our current way of paint and live. The current way of teaching art is not supportive and inspiring in any way. Many struggles and suffering comes up as a result. It’s the time to consider another way of painting where we can take full responsibility about the quality of our expression and ourselves. The time to re-develop a true school of art.

122. Great sharing Kelly Zarb! To walk through life looking for acceptance and recognition outside of us does not work and we all know it, we hold everything we need inside of us and can fill ourselves with love to the brim, but we need reminding as the patterns to disract ourselves away from us are so ingrained in our society.

     1. Yes this is true Judith. Many have walked the path of searching for acceptance and this is a very lonely road to travel. Reminding ourselves and appreciating all that we are already, not from what we do but who we are already creates a new path. This sounds like a great path to me.

     2. Yes Judith, these habits, patterns, the things we are used to sometimes take a lot of work and persistence to shake.

     3. It needs a constant reminder, that the need for acceptance is the wrong way. As soon as there is a need for something, we have given ourselves away to the wrong force.

     4. Yes Judith I do need regular reminding that I am enough without the identity I get from the things I do like my job, or roles in life. I feel myself go back into these patterns quite often, but what’s great is being able to notice them for myself sometimes and reading blogs like these are also a super support.

123. Great points in this article. It really goes to show that it is about the quality of energy we bring to what we do, not just what we do. Being in a quality that is true, the whole of life is continually confirming back to us this fullness and the seeking of recognition falls away.

     1. From what you share Kate we can see how the quality we bring to everything we do in life has a crucial impact on our health and how we experience life.

     2. Beautifully said, Katechorley – the whole of life does confirm us back when we are in the glory of our innate essence. Recognition cannot hold a candle to this feeling, which is eternal, rather than the ephemeral quality of recognition, which needs to be constantly fed – such a ravenous beast, it is!

     3. One of my favourite things to remind myself of is “quality is key.” It holds a depth of power in how we express everything in life. The beauty in our quality is insurmountable. Thank you Kate.

     4. This is a very important point Kate, when we make life about what we do, how much we achieve and how much recognition and approval we receive, we are constantly under stress and tension which has a huge impact on our health and stops us from being present. In contrast to the joy of, simply being present with what we are doing, and still in our bodies, bringing quality to everything we do.

        1. Yes Thomas, I agree with what you share here, and as Kelly shared, ‘I realised that from my continual drive and pressure to be recognised for my art I was actually pushing away all I really ever wanted, and that was to be seen for who I truly was.’

        2. What you share in you comment I like very much – the question what came up to me is: why do we as human beings not all choose to live like this – “being simply present with what we are doing and still in our bodies, bringing quality to everything we do?” What made us chose this other not so pleasant way?

124. We don’t have to look far in our media to see what recognition does, the glory, the fame and the hype. It does not last, and leaves the person at the mercy to floating opinions. The way we build people up to then take it all way it is actually a very cruel system that does not care about you as a whole divine being but wants instead for you to forget about all your natural amazing qualities and focus on a part that will put you above another, thus creating separation.

     1. Seeking recognition is like putting yourself on one of those mouse wheels to continually spin in circles chasing a feeling of fullness when the best you can get is a fleeting reprieve from feeling your own emptiness.

        1. and therefore always searching for more to escape that feeling. I know that one all too well Kate.

        2. Our true self (Soul) is absolutely complete and full and never needs any recognition for it is already everything. Our separated aspect (spirit) forever seeks recognition and will never, ever be satisfied even if getting it for a moment because it is not IT but the emptiness you describe Kate, and nothing it ever does will change that. A great definition of spirit and be found at Unimedpedia spirit here: http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia/word-index/unimedpedia-spirit.html

        3. Great analogy katemaroney1

        4. It is taking a moment to stop, and lovingly asking why is it that I seek recognition in the first place.

        5. That is a great picture katemaroney1 how awful recognition is and also how exhausting it could be. I am wondering when we as a society recognize what we are really doing.

     2. This is very true Samanthaengland, we allow people to be built up by fame and recognition and our media only to watch it all be smashed, as these stars or celebrities life’s crumble and fall apart. It feels macabre that we allow this to happen, its almost like people take pleasure reading about the mess and drama that goes on in these celebrities life’s, maybe out of jealousy, it appears no different from the past in Rome at the coliseum with the gladiators killing each other as people watched for entertainment.

     3. It’s true Samantha, we put focus on a part of ourselves – so create separation in ourselves. This part can then become a part we measure against other people with, which is in complete separation to them too. Separation means that we do not embrace that we we are one whole as a being, and all one as humanity. Anything that encourages separation means that we do not embrace the love that we all equally are, and creates disharmony in this world we do live in.

     4. Well expressed here samanthaengland.

     5. Amazing observation samanthaengland – this is truly what it is all about – creating division and separation.

     6. You are so right Samantha about what recognition does to us… it becomes the monkey on our back that is never satisfied.

     7. I recently watched a movie with my daughter about acting and we talked about the recognition that the actors get caught up in. It really is sad and nasty because they are never seen for who they are, and if they are themselves, they often get rejected as their fans want this made up version.

     8. Well said Samantha, it’s a thick illusion that many of us buy into and many more who feed it.

125. Our body speaks for ourselves and will always communicate what needs to be said. No way we can pretend all is fine by ignoring it, sooner or later, a message will be sent to us in whatever form (accident, injury, Illness or diseases) which are blessings in disguise no matter how arch they seems to be.

126. Kelly, I am looking forward to one day seeing your artwork that has ‘flowed from the stillness of your body’.

127. Thank you Kelly for sharing your experience with expression through art and how this has changed for you over time. As I read your article, I was reflecting upon art and its purpose – most artists and painters will produce art work for display which instantly seeks recognition and accolades. I used to be into sketching and painting and also very much into working with clay, but over the years I put that aside as I felt there was no real purpose to my art work other than that of trying to get attention OR allowing me to process my feelings. Art played a big role for me in processing my feelings. In fact I recall making some clay sculptures as a teenager and I had to work purely by hand in feeling my way through it as I would be crying so much I could barely see through the tears. I created some pretty impressive clay figures that many people used to ooh and aah about, however, I wonder today about the energy within those clay figures and how much of the sadness I was feeling was being ‘put into’ these object for people to then have in their homes. As a teenager, this was one way that I learned to cope and manage the feelings of overwhelm and anxiety – I used art as a means to let out the bottled up expression that was not being given a space to be verbalised. But would it not have been simpler for me to speak about this rather than put it into a piece of art work? I am aware that many artists often feel much overwhelm and can feel emotionally unstable, so I wonder how much artwork out there is actually painted through a form of clarity and purpose, not painted for accolades, and not produced through an emotional process? Something to ponder on…

     1. ” How much artwork out there is actually painted through a form of clarity and purpose, not painted for accolades, and not produced through an emotional process? –
        Henrietta your question is worth pondering upon- I guess not many pictures or art forms are done without the need for recognition, or have some emotion attached to it.
        I feel it starts with school- wanting to be seen.
        It seems to me that many teachers at school foster competitiveness, and the rewards that can be gained if you are number one. Fortunately, Kelly Zarb is certainly changing that.

        1. I don’t feel we can just blame teachers, we are all responsible for this.

        2. Brilliantly expressed Henrietta and much to ponder indeed. As I lived from the recognition of my work there were many people involved in the ugly web of recognition and the game I played but to be honest I know that I was the key player in the game. From my own need for recognition I was the puppet master so to speak because my own lack of self worth and acceptance fed that need from others including my parents, art teacher and friends etc.
           I have since thrown away all of my past work from high school as it felt very heavy and emotional which showed how sad and empty I felt at that time. I chose not to study art at university and just continued to paint and make on my own, which still didn’t deter my hunger for recognition. I would say back then I would have used my creative expression an an outlet to say what I felt instead of actually verbalising it yes. But in truth people use all kinds of things to avoid expressing the way they truly feel including pushing yourself at the gym, overeating or watching a movie, everyone has their own comfort and hiding mechanism.
           I actually stopped painting for many years as I didn’t want to hurt anyone if I was doing it completely connected to me, but this also is being dishonest to myself and my own way of being. Its the element of play and connection that I enjoy most, sitting with my paints and sometimes just mixing up colours is fun. There is no pull to have an idea of where it will go on the canvas but it is just a feeling to be with myself and enjoy that precious time being me. But what supports me even more than that is the connection that art has brought me. I enjoy talking to others about what they love and what inspires them, that’s what true art is: connection. Art is within us all, as we are all living works of art. That is worth recognising within each of us equally so.

     2. Brilliantly expressed Henrietta and much to ponder indeed. As I lived from the recognition of my work there were many people involved in the ugly web of recognition and the game I played but to be honest I know that I was the key player in the game. From my own need for recognition I was the puppet master so to speak because my own lack of self worth and acceptance fed that need from others including my parents, art teacher and friends etc.
        I have since thrown away all of my past work from high school as it felt very heavy and emotional which showed how sad and empty I felt at that time. I chose not to study art at university and just continued to paint and make on my own, which still didn’t deter my hunger for recognition. I would say back then I would have used my creative expression as an outlet to say what I felt instead of actually verbalising it, yes. But in truth people use all kinds of things to avoid expressing the way they truly feel including pushing yourself at the gym, overeating or watching a movie, everyone has their own comfort and hiding mechanism.
        I actually stopped painting for many years as I didn’t want to hurt anyone if I wasn’t doing it completely connected to me, but this also is being dishonest to myself and my own way of being. Its the element of play and connection that I enjoy most, sitting with my paints and sometimes just mixing up colours is fun. There is no pull to have an idea of where it will go on the canvas but it is just a feeling to be with myself and enjoy that precious time being me. But what supports me even more than that is the connection that art has brought me. I enjoy talking to others about what they love and what inspires them, that’s what true art is: connection. Art is within us all, as we are all living works of art. That is worth recognising within each of us equally so.

        1. I have a similar expreience with art – using it as a means to process my emotions and express them through the artwork – all because I didn’t want to express what I wanted to say verbally as I was too scared to do so so directly.

           Now I when I feel the impulse to paint I feel it’s about nurturing the connection I have with myself. It is no surprise to me I haven’t made that commitment to art or to myself as a work of art. Instead I have come up with lots of practical excuses why I haven’t made space to do so – a reflection of my resistence to truly be with me. Though there are undercurrents I know will surface to be let go of- wanting recognition, trying for perfection, worry I’ll not be enough company for myself, criticizing myself; what I will learn is nothing is greater than love. And what a beautiful way to get to know myself, through playing with colours.

        2. This hunger for recognition can run very deeply and go unrecognised for a long time.. overwork and perfection has been my go-to way of gaining recognition and acceptance from the world, instead of accepting myself and all that I am and bring, first. When we invest lots of energy into a particular area of our lives just to gain recognition or acceptance, there’s an emptiness to it an it, instead of the joy that we feel when we’re naturally being ourselves and bringing all of us into what we do.

     3. Whoa your comment holds a lot to ponder on. It made me realise how much I would get lost in painting and use it as a way of day dreaming or not being present in life. I re visited a house that has quite a lot of my old paintings in it recently and they instantly took me back to some pretty tough times of my life and I know for sure that it was not just the image that was having an effect on me, but how I was when I painted them. Like you share, the painting still had the sadness and anger that I was experiencing at that time painted into it.

        1. Great point Rosie – the checkout can be strong in a lot of art work and I have experienced that too…you check out and don’t let yourself feel and then all of a sudden you are back and there is what appears to be a pretty good sculpture in front of you. But really it was not you making it, as you have no recollection of it. Pretty disturbing actually, I feel. Where did it come from if it was not you? What worked through you to make the art work happen? Who did you lend your body to? I would often feel very tired in the body after such an experience of artwork as a teenager. Thank goodness I have a better understanding of energy these days and know that when we are not present with ourselves then other energies, not natural to us, can actually run us – not a pleasant thing in the end, I can assure you.

128. It is clear that you have a natural talent for art Kelly but like so many people with a natural talent, it is used to raise you above everyone else. The world magnifies the talent and places us above others, like being a fast runner or football player. To have a natural talent is great, but it is like we are swallowed up by something and manufactured to be popular and it is this process that changes us.

129. I can relate to what you are saying here Kelly, because I have had a pattern in the past of wanting/needing to be the ‘expert’ in everything I was interested or worked in, whether it be through sports or my work in aviation. It was as if I was looking for recognition by being the ‘go to guy’ and needing some kind of acknowledgement for being good at everything instead of feeling enough for simply being myself in whatever I did. This is truly a draining existence, since it requires a tremendous amount of energy to constantly be driving towards some goal that is always moving away from you because when I became super-proficient at something, I would always look to some other endeavour to fill the void of emptiness that I was feeling after not accepting myself as the beautiful person I am.

     1. Good point Michael, it really is simple, that we are just resisting the loveliness of who we are and therefore have to go into huge complicated drive because of this choice. The answer to what we seek was always with us all along..

130. I am noticing that there are many things that we search for to receive recognition for who we are. In your case you have used art but the list is endless, yet what we are searching for is right there, within.

     1. So true Heidi, the list can go on and on! What I have come to realise is that recognition is a recipe for separation, whilst self appreciation on the other hand creates a deepening of oneself which ultimaltly spills out to humanity.

131. Very beautiful Kelly, and just by being your self ‘ – I no longer feel an attachment to what I make and only paint or draw when I feel to; there is no push or pressure to produce art because I am enough, and what I bring by just being me is simply amazing. My art expression now comes through with a new light that flows from the stillness of my body in that moment. ‘

132. How great to take away the push and enjoy simply expressing you

133. Kelly I really connect to that fact that we all are A + in being the love that we all naturally are.

134. Kelly, this is gorgeous thank you. You have given me more insight into art, and how truth in art can inspire. I could feel how many artist could easily be driven into this state that you experienced, that started out pure, fresh and simply talented. Imagine all our talented artists developing their expression in the way you now are, free from the drive or need for recognition, but rather purely from impulse, or even greater, from the awareness of how their art can serve others.
     I also love how you call Serge Benhayon a shining star, this is super sweet as it is what I tell to my chidden about themselves, and it reveals the agelessness of our light!

     1. I agree Anna, seeing art that is brought forth from the essence of a person has a palpable depth and quality that is impossible to ignore.

135. Yesterday I watched a film ‘The Beautiful Mind’, about the unfolding a natural and gifted young boy, a mathematician and someone that certainly scored A’s. What struck me was how the natural talent of this young boy soon became a product to be used to win competitions (Mathematics Olympiad!) and how when he entered this circus, he lost himself. In the film we see how parents and teachers obsessed with academic attainment, recognition and pursuit of accolades, can overlook the fragile unfolding of young adolescents and the support they deeply need. It also portrays mathematical intelligence as the Holy Grail and completely ignores natural intelligence that is founded in love, gentleness, beauty, brotherhood and equality.

     1. Yes, Kehinde, when we focus on the talent or the ‘product’ that is desired by society, we lose connection to the essence of the being instantly, and then everything becomes empty striving. We experience the greatness in each other when we simply connect, feel and appreciate the divine beauty we naturally express from within.

     2. Correction to the above, the flim was titled ‘A Brilliant Young Mind’ To elevate brain intelligence above true intelligence is dangerous and results in illness and disease. What children need is to be loved for who they are and not identified solely with the exceptional gifts they may have.

136. Kelly, i can really see how this happens, ‘It was where I most felt comfortable and where I could be seen and recognised for my talent. At the time it gave me status and a feeling of worth’, working part-time in a school I see children looking for identification, something to be recognised for, whether it be playing football well, being good at art etc.. because it is these things that society recognises rather than the fact that all of these children are amazing just for being them.

137. Art can be so fraught with recognition, with comparison and the questions of whether it is good enough, a bit like singing – it isn’t a talent you really learn, but more one that you have or not, which can make assessing your ability a very sensitive thing. To turn it around to see art as an expression of who you are rather than a form of recognition

138. Thank you, Kelly, for exposing how we can imprison ourselves in a world of expectation and the need to be something, rather than the freedom of allowing ourselves to naturally become.

139. Love your honesty Kelly as what you share is something that can be universally identified with, we each have or have had something we have used to seek recognition and a sense of self worth from but as you share it comes back to knowing that underneath it all nothing outside of us can complete us for we were whole from the day we were born. It’s coming back to loving and knowing this truth about ourselves that allows us to shine in the world knowing “I am enough”.

140. What an amazing change Kelly, not only in how you now feel when expressing through art but the biggest thing that stood out for me, was the physical changes that ceased once you let go of the striving and looking for recognition. Mine was sport and work, the sport is no longer something I strive to do, though I still have moments when I fall into looking for recognition at work, but I’m on to it as it stands out big time.

141. The honesty you have written about art and recognition with Kelly could be translated to anything we do to compensate for not being connected with the love we are. Looking to be recognised for what we do (or don’t do sometimes) is something just about everyone gets caught up in while growing up. It is a hungry cycle that can run our whole lives, seeking outside of ourselves to fill an endless cycle of hunger, it’s a bit like eating even though we are thirsty. You write about one of our greatest ills Kelly and how you are healing it- thank you, I enjoyed reading this.

142. Thanks kelly, some use art, some music, some science, some English we all have or had our chosen fields to try to excel in, some even excel in failure…all the same drive for recognition.

     1. Very well put Joel we are all looking for someone to say – your the one – all the while not realising that we truly are the one and we can confirm that ourselves.

        1. Love it Lee, am I willing to confirm myself for just being me and not for what others say or for some crafted and nurtured talent I may have.

        2. Me too Joel. I am committing to confirming and appreciating me more and more everyday.

     2. It is Joel, “…all the same drive for recognition.”, and no room for any true celebrating of who we are.

     3. This is such a great point Joel. Even the excelling in failure is another form of recognition, much like the whinging child. If we can’t get the applause and attention being good, we almost invariably get it from being bad!

143. “I feel that my art allows others to be inspired and shine their own unique essence too, in whatever ways they choose, and that is a pretty amazing sight to behold.” Kelly you are spot on with this observation. I am very inspired by you as you show that we can express from our own unique essence in every thing we do. You have inspired me to pick up a paintbrush again too!

     1. Yes Leonne everyone has their beautifully unique essence and that’s what makes the world so rich and vast with inspiration. We can learn and appreciate so much more when we are connected and accepting of our own unique qualities. Its beautiful to hear you are picking up a paintbrush again too Leonne.

144. Thanks Kelly, it’s funny how our schooling and social systems can often create such a need to be recognised for our achievements, instead of just letting our selves and everyone else simply be who they are. There is much consciousness to break and room to grow in this area for all of us, so we don’t keep creating people /members of the community who are constantly in drive for recognition for what they do, instead of who they are and what they bring from the depth of their inner-heart and soul.inner heart and soul.

145. Wow, awesome blog Kelly. I love reading it, as my favourite subject at school was also art. It is so amazing you are able to now express through art your true essence and appreciating who you are and that you are already enough, without the need to prove anything. This is very gorgeous.

146. Thank you Kelly. You share a great message of using art to inspire and support people to connect to themselves rather than doing for recognition and self-worth.

147. Your writing has inspired me to ponder about why it is I’ve haven’t drawn or painted for years when I know I do love doing so.
     ‘When I allow myself the space and truly feel what is there to be expressed, then painting and drawing open up a path of my life that is there to be shared with everyone.’
     I was always saying I was only interested in it to get compliments or make a living but underlying this has been an impulse to draw and connect with me and that I may well explore. There is so much more to art and thank you for expressing that.

148. Thanks Kelly for sharing your unfolding and re-connecting to the love you are, a love that was always there just waiting to shine. Everyone has gifts to be shared with the world, but there are many that come to believe that it is those gifts that make them worthy, bring acclaim and recognition. The push you have spoken of is felt in the body and lets us know that we can choose a different way, a way to be and live the love first then what our gifts brings is more amazing and healing for all,

149. It is never about what is outside of us, only what is within us, which then changes what is outside of us. Thank you Kelly for sharing.

     1. Such a illusion to try and fill the empty void of not feeling enough inside with outside recognition through what we produce.

     2. So simple, so pure and so true.

150. It’s funny as I work as an art teacher yet I have no interest in visiting art galleries or making art, I will only make art if there is a purpose, for example a demo for a lesson with the kids.

     1. Bringing purpose to art… There may be a whole lot less art around if this was an intention as much art can be about the artist’s identity and need to be seen.

        1. Exactly Annie I agree, much of what we have out there and is still being made and I have been part of this has been completely self indulgent and served / serves no purpose at all. If I was to go to art school again I would personally choose a subject for example such as graphic design or illustration where by there is a service being provided with purpose to a client.

     2. I love that Gyl. I can feel that you are in it for the love of it and that will support your students.

     3. I used to hate art galleries as a child. My mum and dad would drag me around, literally and I would just want to run away from the awful feelings I experiencing. They thought it was because I was bored, but actually it was the room full of unresolved emotions, radiating off every painted and sculpted surface that the child could feel. The adults had just learned to switch off their feelings more effectively.

        1. That’s a great awareness and observation; as a child you could feel the emptiness of the art glamourised….the so called culture of it…. Who decides anyway if an art piece is worth thousands or millions of dollars. Now Leonardo Da Vinci on the other hand, his paintings offer such clarity, they leave us alone. The beautiful Mona Lisa, confirming that I am enough as I am, in my connection to the all and the divine. That’s true art. He painted to serve humanity, to give us a reflection, to offer us healing, not to win any prices or to be glorified for his talent.

        2. I have had the joy of seeing the Mona Lisa in the Louvre and watch the gathering of people around and their many and various reactions to the quality that emanates from her. I also was blessed with the opportunity to see Da Vinci’s anatomical sketches – blessed and blown away. They serve. None of his works indulge in flourish or skill for its own sake.
           It is funny though Esther…you noted great awareness and observation as a child. I agree, both were strong, but I bet if you asked me and I felt safe to give you an honest answer, I would have said they felt yucky. Frankly, yucky works for me today too.

151. ‘I no longer feel an attachment to what I make and only paint or draw when I feel to; there is no push or pressure to produce art because I am enough, and what I bring by just being me is simply amazing’. Your blog is a great reminder to detach from any result.

     1. I imagine that the need for recognition, acceptance and approval allows us to go into that drive and means we are automatically invested in an outcome.

        1. Yes, Jennym, an outcome that never arrives nor satisfies, at it will never be enough.

        2. Yes definitely jennym. If recognition is what we are striving for then all we are thinking about or pushing for is more of the same. It is never ending and totally exhausting. Its really just another form of comfort that takes us away from our own connection. Its pretty crazy really.

152. ‘I realised that from my continual drive and pressure to be recognised for my art I was actually pushing away all I really ever wanted, and that was to be seen for who I truly was.’ Very ironic. We have all been there one way or the other.

153. So much of art, music and other creative pursuits are about inciting an emotional reaction out of the viewer, listener or reader. In the life of emotions in which most of us are conditioned into existing in, we seek stimuli of emotion because we are not feeling the joy of our true connection. The people who make art that successfully incite emotion are thought to be highly skilled. Having been one of those people, I know how easy it is to incite emotion. It’s simply plugging yourself into a certain frequency and everything you do is effected by that energy. The real challenge is living a life without emotion within a sea of emotions. I know that art and music made without it seeks nothing from the viewer and therefore they don’t impose or incite. I have yet to live the fullness of me consistently enough for this to be the result of my expressions, but I am getting there. It is my responsibility to do so.

     1. Well there is creativity debunked Jinya. There is so much made out about how hard it is to be an artist – the saying “suffering for ones art” is a giveaway. A revolutionary idea you have given us, that it is simple to just plug into the energy that provokes whatever emotion you want and let it be the source of your creation. Let the reactions flow…right? just don’t count the cost of the sweeping harm and devastation.
        It is the responsible artist who chooses the source that incites nothing, but allows the viewer/listener to re-connect to themselves, their soul and the oneness we are sourced from.

     2. Jinya, that is so well explained, thank you for making this clear for us. I just love and deeply appreciate the awesome music we have been given by Michael Benhayon and Glorious Music. It just leaves me be and it confirms me for being who I truly am. This is the best gift, as it comes from Michael’s connection to the love he is, to the equalness we all are. No emotions needed to drain us.

     3. I knew exactly what music to listen to to suit what my emotion what as the time, feeding it and wallowing in it. Once we begin to understand how harming emotions are to ourselves but also to others, the quality of our creative pursuits will begin to change.

154. Wow! Kelly Zarb this is gorgeous to read. I can feel the depth and beauty of your art, especially in this paragraph quoted below. It would be lovely to be able to see some of your current art even in photographs as visiting personally is not an option at this moment with living on the other side of the world!

     “My art expression now comes through with a new light that flows from the stillness of my body in that moment. When I allow myself the space and truly feel what is there to be expressed, then painting and drawing open up a path of my life that is there to be shared with everyone. I feel that my art allows others to be inspired and shine their own unique essence too, in whatever ways they choose, and that is a pretty amazing sight to behold”.

155. How much better does if feel when we perform a task from our essence without any attachment of recognition or approval

     1. This feels absolutely amazing, better than any praise, recognition or award ever.

     2. Yes, when it completes within us, and the contentment and confirmation within is all that is needed. Agree Joe, there is nothing near to this.

156. A wonderful story of self acceptance and a true awakening to the Kingdom within us all. I have not seen your art Kelly, but your blog is richly coloured with inspiration and true purpose – to be who we are and know we are enough.

157. The pursuit for recognition in something we do is, i would say pandemic, from the obvious behaviours to the subtle. It is humbling to read your blog Kelly, the honesty you share opens up insights where this could be occurring in our own lives. You show that by simply meeting ourselves is the only recognition one should be in pursuit of.

     1. Yes johannebrown17, I love it! Recognising exactly who we are in essence should, most definitely, be our main pursuit.

     2. Johannebrown17 you are so right when you say that the ‘pursuit for recognition in something we do is pandemic, from the obvious behaviours to the subtle’. It’s great that you have highlighted the massive range of behaviours that we do in order to be recognised. I can remember as a teenager turning the music up really loudly before answering the phone so that my friends would think I was super cool having my music blaring out. This is one small example from my catalogue of minor things that I did in order to be seen in a certain way. There is also a significant body of work based on major things that I did in order to be seen as somebody special.

     3. Absolutely Johanne. ‘The pursuit for recognition in something we do is, I would say pandemic, from the obvious behaviours to the subtle’ – this is very true; I’ve noticed a lot of behaviours both in myself and others that are ways of getting recognition from others. An example of this is that sometimes I can speak very loudly in class when I know an answer in order to get recognition from the teachers/friends for being ‘smart’.

158. This part Kelly ‘The way to change that was simple, to truly love and recognise myself for whom I was. ‘ It’s all about who we are and not what we do. What a revelation 💫

     1. Absolutely Katrynfortuna a superb revelation as it brings it back to who we are and knowing that this is enough.

     2. This is true Kathryn. We do live in a world that thrives on recognition, so this really is a revelation.

159. Love how you have changed an A+ in art to an A+ in self love 💕

     1. I too am looking to deepen and enrich the self-love but without applying the nervous energy or drive of the past, knowing that there is never ever an end point.

        1. Ditto jennym, and great comment about there never being an end point… I find it’s good to remember this when we feel like we’re not getting anywhere with deepening our self-love because at these times it’s possible that the previously new deeper level now feels normal and so it’s time to take another step to deepen the self-care and self-love, towards the never-ending end point 🙂

160. Kelly, your blog is a timely read as recently I have been coming to realise that it may just be possible to love ME. Appreciating other people for their cuteness or gentleness has been easy but directing that towards me has been an entirely different prospect. I have been so abusive and self critical of myself that loving me just felt alien. Well this morning, when I was applying cream from my bath, tenderly and with the utmost care I actually felt that it may just be possible to love me and a solid platform that would be.

     1. Its not just possible to love you fionacochran01, you are all the love in the world already. By tenderly applying your cream to your body you are offering yourself a beautiful loving moment and that is something to be cherished. Thank you for sharing with such honesty.

161. I know this sense of identification through art. I used to feel the same about myself as a musician. It was my identity and without it I was nothing. How wrong I was. It’s not healthy to hide behind a talent and hand ourselves over to it. We give it far too much power. I am having fun claiming my power back and learning to express in whatever I am doing, music being just one of the many ways I choose to express.

     1. Absolutely Rebecca, we actually set ourselves up for a fall when we lose all of us for a part that we identify with. Life can be an ugly roller coaster ride of chasing recognition or praise if we get lost in identifying ourselves to a special talent or ability, or like you say we can use whats inside us as a way of expressing true fully with no need for approval. Seeing you play the cello last night I could feel and hear your commitment to humanity, you brought us such joy. It is very inspiring to see a musician who is not caught up in recognition as sadly in society this is quite rare.

        1. Thank you Samantha. Yes it was a very strong pull to begin to play the cello again but for a totally different reason. I used to play for recognition. This pattern is hard to break and I can feel it trying to come back in. But the impulse to play again was full of purpose to serve humanity. With the focus on this it will be possible to clear the old patterns.

     2. We give our power away to our talent by using it for recognition. A very vicious cycle of getting nowhere fast. We are just moving further away from ourselves. When we claim who we are from within, all expressions hold much depth of clarity and quality. That is a very cool way to be.

162. I too received an A in art and I remember being so pleased, I received recognition and praise from family and friends which made me want to excel further, the problem was when I tried I lost the magic that was naturally there. This is the downfall of many naturally talented children, we lose them to a system that builds that offers the drug of recognition.

     1. Samanthaengland this is so true, how every one of us have amazing qualities that we bring to the world… what is sad though is when these qualities are singled out as being so much bigger than the whole person, and something that was once very natural and loving to do starts to become the centre of everything and hence, if we loose ourselves in this, the striving and pushing starts. This is a big and important topic to expose, so we can all get back to being ourselves and celebrating who we are and the qualities we express.

        1. So well said Aimee Edmonds; the downfall comes when we make something we are ‘good’ at, bigger than who we are. As you say, something that was once very natural and loving to do starts to become the centre of everything – and hence we lose ourselves. Nothing is worth more than who we already are.

     2. Spot on Doug!

     3. A neat trick isn’t it! And a striving for more is embarked on, and the anxiety and stress and dis-ease is assured.

163. Wow the art you produce would offer such great reflections and potentials for healing. I have never enjoyed art as I always found it to be emotionally charged, the angry pieces I found especially hard to be near. You are bringing truth into the world of art and using this form of expression for it’s true purpose.

     1. Well said Tonisteenson, it seems that with some many tools of expression in life, art being one of them, we have managed to turn them upside down to use them for self-gain, for individual success, for recognition and not for a greater purpose. It is refreshing and inspiring to read this blog and so many amazing comments reflecting light on how we are choosing to do things and why. We can choose to express from our essence and bring truth to humanity and to use these tools to unite us, not to divide us.

164. It is amazing how complicated we make life when as you say Kelly all we really want is ‘to be seen for who we truly are.

165. Trusting my body first and enabling a relationship of true expression has “felt” like a massive task. But in building a gentle relationship with myself, putting myself first in my life I have started to notice the accolades and recognition still flow but from a more solid respectful place. With a lot less of a “buzz”. I am understanding we are all individually awesome and worth celebrating, but we don’t have to go looking for it.

     1. Yes it felt like a huge task for me to trust my body and express from that too Phil, but as you say it is continual learning process and one that should be appreciated and celebrated every step of the way. Thank you.

166. There is much I recognise in this article…change art for math, english, cooking, gardening, career, house keeping, make up application, parenting…and pretty much everyone can be covered. The essence being, it is not what we do but how. Two things bounced off the page for me. Your comment about the changes that have come about since working with Universal Medicine that you ‘never knew possible’ – I had a wave of appreciation for how far I have come from a really self-destructive trajectory; and then the ‘lived wisdom of Serge Benhayon’ – something that blows my socks off, as I observe over and over again that what Serge shares is absolutely honest, practical, humble and lived – not an empty preaching word in sight.

     1. In deed Matilda, beautifully said and I agree. The teachings of Universal Medicine are enabling many, many people to realise true change within them that produce outcomes we never, ever thought possible AND that all these teachings and wisdom arise from a rich living experience delivered from a heart over flowing with integrity and love.

     2. Yes Matilda, you could replace art with any other activity and pretty much everyone would be covered. “It is not what we do but how”, the quality in which we do what we do. I would never have known this myself if I hadnt met Serge.

     3. Matilda one of the things you said I feel is super important to understand and that is seeking recognition, in whatever form, puts us on a “self-destructive trajectory”. This is really interesting because seeking in this way is deemed to be healthy, but the truth it can be very harmful how why we seek recognition. Also if we were in full acceptance of who we are, there would be no seeking at all only acts of continual confirmation of our selves – reducing this self destruction.

167. “My art expression now comes through with a new light that flows from the stillness of my body in that moment.”, when we connect to our stillness, the level of expression is clear, open and none imposing, as our connection to stillness has a level of quality and depth. This stillness is the key for us connecting to our essence which supports our expression.

     1. So true Amita our connection to our essence which is stillness allows for our expression to be of the same energy.

168. Thank You Kelly for sharing this honest blog about how you lived your life in drive, striving to excel way beyond what you truly wanted and at the expense of your body. How many people live this way and think it is ok and normal?
     I know I was one of them and just as you say ‘It was a never-ending thirst for knowledge and more recognition’ and that led me to a tumour and major surgery.
     It took me some time to apply and LIVE the teachings of Serge Benhayon and I mean really LIVE them and eventually things started to change and now I have a solid foundation that does not have the drive and push to make things happen all because I want someone to endorse what I have done to make me feel something.
     What a load of twaddle that is. No matter how much recognition, identification or validation it is never ever enough as the start point was an empty hole and that hole is never sealed so you keep driving and pushing to fill it.
     Ding Dong enter Serge Benhayon and he gives you the tools to connect and seal that hole and your start point is I AM ENOUGH.
     3 words that hold power if it is lived.

     1. Well said Bina, “No matter how much recognition, identification or validation it is never ever enough as the start point was an empty hole and that hole is never sealed so you keep driving and pushing to fill it.” This is so true. External confirmation is never self-sustaining and therefore a constant need to always to have more and greater than the last time. Totally and utterly exhausting and self-defeating.

        1. So true Bina and Jonathan, to strive for external confirmation and recognition is never enough and can never fulfill you. It is the love in our hearts and the allowing of it to fill us to the brim that makes us feel content.

     2. Wow Bina, all so spot on what you say (that’s my back-to-front Yoda expression) … Yes many people believe it’s normal to be in continual over-drive but also feel that there is no other choice or way of living. I guess when they’re willing to see a different and true way, it will be presented, just as it has been for those students of Universal Medicine.

     3. It is a very different feeling to do something from that point you describe Bina, that I AM ENOUGH, it does not seem to require effort in terms of having to pull or recall to something. I know however that in the past I have used loads of nervous energy and stimulants like coffee in order to get myself over the line in projects ultimately leaving me depleted.

     4. Beautifully put Bina and something I too can vouch for. I was a complete workaholic, totally identified by what I did, driving my body into the ground in an attempt to fill that empty hole. Before meeting Serge Benhayon, no-one had ever and I mean ever, mentioned the FACT that we are enough just as we are. As you say, the teachings of Universal Medicine have to be lived to the hilt in order for us to connect to, honour and cherish our ‘enoughness’, we have to return to complete honesty in all we do so that we can ditch the beliefs, ideals and false identities that lead us away from who we truly are. I AM ENOUGH needs to be the first words we teach our children, so that they grow up in the world knowing that all they need lies within them all the time. Connect and thou will know everything!

     5. Absolutely Bina “I am enough” is where it begins in truth, yet we so often fall for “I am never enough” which as you shared comes from us starting out not seeing our true worth. Recently I caught myself going into the hurt of not being seen and realised it comes from my own lack of love and appreciation of me. The more we appreciate our own worth the more this grows, we bring the essence of who we are to all we do instead of the empty hollow that comes with the striving to be recognised and seen.

        1. In full agreement Bina and Jade with your comments – the absolute knowingness of “I am enough” is the way to true self-salvation and appreciation of ourselves and others is a great starting point.

        2. Bina and Jade, this is true, “I am enough as I am”. Whenever I feel not seen it is becoming more and more clear that I am not seeing myself through eyes of love and appreciation. Recognizing our own beauty is so important.

     6. Thank you Bina, A hum dinger of a comment.

     7. We are constantly chasing our tail until we realise that, yes, we are enough. Thank you Serge Benhayon for asking no less of us than to bring ALL of us to the the table.

     8. ‘I AM ENOUGH. 3 words that hold power if it is lived’ Very powerful. I love the power and simplicity you deliver this with. I can feel how this supports me to hold this truth in my daily life. thank you.

     9. Beautiful Bina, I love what you share – it makes so much sense; all the recognition and acceptance is never enough, as there is a bottomless pit, an empty hole to start with. Once we seal that bottomless pit with accepting and loving ourselves, then we don’t need to endlessly chase that acceptance and recognition. And indeed – We are enough.

     10. You are spot on Bina. When we are wanting recognition from outside the hole is like a bottomless pit that inevitably can never ever be filled. We can change the cycle of recognition and identification as an outward expression to the truth of which is purely divine. We are all enough and what flows from that knowing is everything and that everything is then a pure loving expression.

     11. The bottomless pit of recognition, yet as you say Bina whole lives are focused on filling them. But this is an illusion to distract us from feeling that we are already everything before we begin anything. Love your sharing.

169. When art is produced or performed for the audience and recognition then the pressure to always ‘do’ as well or better than before creates a tension that can be seen and felt. When art is an expression of who we are then the true essence shines through.

170. I am sorry to say but I wish I could paint or draw – these are beautiful skills to have.

     1. Yes Christoph – painting and drawing are truly wonderful talents, as is being great with numbers, statistics, hairdressing, car maintenance… the list could go on forever. It is true that some people seem to have a natural talent for things like art but when we covet these talents for ourselves we often overlook the incredible talents we possess and forget that we can express in a way that creates a masterpiece equal to a beautiful work of art no matter what we may be doing.

        My experience with art has shown me that we can actually all paint and draw (just as we can all sing). The only thing standing in our way is experience and our ideals and beliefswhich give rise to comparison and hold us back.

        1. Really love what you share here Leonne it shows the only limits to what is possible are the ideals and beliefs we put in our way. It is so true we each have something as equal to offer the world, it is about allowing ourselves out to shine and remembering to appreciate the qualities we bring.

        2. Leonne, this you have beautifully expressed, we all have incredible talents but often overlook that we have them as they are normal to us. And therefore all of us are capable to make a masterpiece in what we do if we express with all we are.

        3. Love it Leonne, there most definitely is a long list of talents that we can have and I am learning to appreciate mine and those of others. This is so much lovelier than wishing I could do all of the things that I see other people doing.

        4. Brilliant Leonne. Yes this is when comparison can be a killer because it takes us away from our own uniquely beautiful talents by focusing on what others have. But in doing this it flattens our own amazing skills which could inspire someone else.

        5. So true Leonne, our own talents often don’t stand out for us as we are just naturally good at them and we have learned to get recognition for something we needed to strive and work hard for.

     2. Yes Shirley-Ann. Uniquely powerful in our own essence. Now that’s true art.

171. What a very powerful healing the RSI brought to you Kelly. The RSI I no longer have developed from feeling I needed to be fast to get a job done and there was always that underlying pressure to move faster than how I felt to move in my body – it was all about your typing speed in those days. Makes me feel breathless!

     1. Yes Suzanne and it is amazing to feel the amount of pressure we place on ourselves to get somewhere which inevitably leads us down a dead end street. What I learnt is that the crazy motion we feel within when we are on the merry go round of recognition is only truly hindering the precious stillness that is innate within. The power of that stillness is also much greater than the continual push we put ourselves in. This makes me breathless too.

172. How amazing Kelly that with the practise of the Gentle Breathe Meditation your shaky hands and RSI disappeared, as you reconnected to the true you, and then expressed from this quality in your art work. Truly powerful.

173. ‘Without art, who was I in this vast world?’ Without money, without fame, without status, without success – who are we? Once we recognize that we are not intrinsicly that we start to connect with the reality of who we are which is not something to be improved upon or strived for – it’s such a relief to return to being who we are without any pressure to perform or be recognized. As you realized Kelly, there is no push or pressure to produce art because I am enough. We are enough and once we appreciate that we no longer need anything else to prop us up into a false somebody.

174. The art of being ourselves is simply living with the knowing and awareness of who we are. If I could split myself in two, spirit and soul, then I could see and feel the joy and the love of my soul, and know that this IS me and is inside me, no need to doubt or question but just to enjoy this amazing relationship.

175. “I now know that my love is an A+ and we all claim top marks in love no matter what, for simply just being ourselves”. It is such a profound and glorious realisation to re-discover that all we need be is “simply just being ourselves” to be have all the love, and more, that we have ever desired.

176. Yes it is really all about just BEING us. I still fall a lot in the doing I start realizing more and being more aware which allows me to observe more. I am also on it to develop this relationship with singing.

177. Kelly thanks this is an amazing story… the power of listening to the body and beginning to self-care and develop self-love is miraculous really in the true sense of that word. These are the sort of everyday miracles we need to be talking about… what you now have, is what most people want – to know who they truly are from the inside, and be that in full in the world.

178. How wonderful it must be, to express art with no need for recognition. Each stroke and colour would inspire and be a picture for someone to see rather than for the artist to feel good about themselves.

     1. Super true Harry- and it would be so much more fun ! Not having to get it right but just trusting what you bring naturally and allowing that to flow easily.

     2. It would free up being an artist immeasurably, Harryjwhite!

     3. Yes from the recognition also stemmed the need for the work to be perfect. It just sucks the joy out of the expression entirely. When we are accepting of ourselves there is no need for perfection because we are connected and the joy that flows from that is amazing.

     4. “Each stroke and colour would inspire and be a picture for someone to see”. This is true service, taking the ‘self’ out of the way, connecting to the beauty within, and committing to expressing all of that, which others can be inspired by.

179. I was never good at art but I can relate to your story very well as I chose acting as a way to get recognition and acceptance. In acting I could play different roles and escape the feelings of emptiness I had inside. With the support of Universal Medicine and re-connecting to my true self the need for recognition dropped away and so did my acting, I would consider acting again one day and I know it would be very different this time because I would be doing it for the joy and fun of it.

180. Not so long ago I was asked by a friend if I felt I identified with my creative practice as a jewellery designer. My reaction was a confident no, because I thought I was detached enough from my work, because actually, it never bothers me if people don’t like what I do because I understand that everybody has different tastes and I, myself am very fussy.
     So I thought that by being detached from people’s opinions of my work meant that I didn’t identify as a creative. What I soon realised was that in fact, I absolutely identify with that as people do know me to be the ‘creative’ one. I realised I seek recognition through my creative practice and that if I were to put down the tools tomorrow I would be left feeling a little…well …empty and asking myself ‘what’s left??”.
     This realisation has had me really consider how I feel about myself without my job attached to my name – who am I without the work I produce? Is it possible that I’m more than what I do and is it possible that I could simply just be me no matter what my job title?

181. Awesome to read Kelly. It is no surprise that this is the way you were with art. Everyone puts a lot of emphasis on what we do rather then who we are as a person. And so because of this, and the fact we often aren’t okay and loving ourselves we constantly strive for recognition- be it in any form. Love how you’ve shared how you e turned it around.

182. Kelly, this is a beautiful story of your journey, thank you for sharing. I particularly love this – “The way to change that was simple, to truly love and recognise myself for whom I was. This opened up my whole way of being in and with the world. It was an ever-growing and undoing of old habits and choices that I peeled back bit by bit when I was ready to be honest with myself and my body.” It is in the gradual peeling back of those layers of old habits and choices that is key to finding the gold within, who we truly are. And that is absolutely amazing, we get to see the amazing Son of God that is there within. In your case, a beautiful, gorgeous woman, who now knows who she is.

     1. And through this knowing she gets to share and inspire others of the truth they also are within through her art, now that’s power-full.

183. I can feel the lovely quality of how you now share art with everyone and for everyone. Thank you for being such a shinning star for all to feel the grace of what you offer, such a different awareness and feel than doing anything because of recognition.

184. That’s a beautiful way of saying it Elizabeth and I totally agree! There is no masterpiece on earth that can match when we live from our essence.

185. Thanks Kelly for sharing your story, which I feel many, including myself, can relate to in one form or another. Getting side tracked by putting enormous amounts of energy into what we do so that we get the recognition in return, is how much of the world operates. What we aren’t taught from birth is that we all have a responsibility to use our talents and strengths but that this is secondary to firstly understanding that our real magic is ignited when we naturally live from a core of love.

186. It feels that your art is now a true expression from your essence and doesn’t come laced with the need for recognition as it once did.

187. It sounds to me like your art was like my cooking used to be with the recognition it brought me. I’m pleased to say today that that is behind me and I enjoy the simplicity of an easy meal shared with friends… no fuss, just nourishing and enjoyable.

188. Yes Katie it is like removing many coats on a hot summers day. Pure delight and freedom in the knowing that we are returning to the place we always knew, but took a few detours along the way. What I always remind myself is that our love is never far away from us, we sometimes just misplace it.

189. I love the way that you express with such joy finding the real you underneath all those layers of trying to gain recognition. Like you Kelly, I too I realised that from my continual drive and pressure to be recognised I was on a continual treadmill that was only taking me around and around in cycles. It was only after listening to Serge Benhayon’s profound and inspiring words that I was willing to accept how un-empowering it was to continue to try and defeat life, rather than embracing all the amazing wisdom that is available when I am willing to stop, and begin the process of accepting responsibility for where I am at.

     1. Brilliant Susan – the futility of trying to ‘defeat life’ is like the ultimate madness and struggle when we are an integral part of it and how it unfolds. Talk about self-destructive. Letting go, taking responsibility and allowing ourselves to love our places in the big picture – now that is life changing and in synch.

190. Art has never been my thing, but music has. After many years of not playing the piano I have recently started to play again and I can relate to shifting the old patterns of having once played solely for recognition to now playing as an expression of me and from my conneciton with me. It feels entirely different in my body and it is with such joy that I now play.

     1. Yes I can totally relate Donna, to play from pure enjoyment of the expression is completely different. The first time I did this, during a lesson with Chris James to re-acquaint myself – also with the piano, I had tears streaming down my face… it felt like the sound of heaven. Anyone listening would have been blessed by the way it felt, and not by the sophistication of notes in a tune. This is the same as Kelly is describing too… the blessing is in the imprint the art is done in, not just in the visual appeal of the work.

191. Being someone who also loves Art, I too only paint or draw for family or friends or when feel like it for fun or enjoyment with my grandchildren, or for them. I must say I enjoy it more now when I do express through art it comes from a deeper place. I love your sharing Kelly you’ve learnt so much through your expression.

192. Of course it is only because of the absence of being seen and accept for who we naturally are that we start to seek recognition for what we do. By doing so, we identify with what we do and it is the base for our relationship with life. As the emptiness of not being who we are increases over time, the dilemma we sought to solve by ‘doing’ also rises, resulting in all kinds of problems. I see most people seeking for something beyond this cycle when they get a sense of being stuck and that what once was a solution,and offered some relief and safety, now has become the problem. It seems we need to hit this point of stagnation before we are open to look outside the rut.

     1. Well said Alex. Captured the cycle perfectly.

     2. True Alex, we usually have to have something happen to us like an illness/disease/accident before we stop and see the dysfunctional pattern we are in when we seek recognition rather than know the love that we are.

     3. Yes, Alex it seems that when we get to the point of realising that all the doing, striving and achieving is not bringing the ‘it’ we are seeking, can we look into ourselves for answers and a deeper connection to what is already there.

        1. I remember Serge Benhayon a while ago presenting that a cycle once started must complete itself. That seems to be the case with what you describe here Rachel. That doesn´t mean that we cannot choose to look inside at any point in time but often we don´t before we hit an end point.

     4. “It seems we need to hit this point of stagnation before we are open to look outside the rut.” Absolutely Alex – if we’re not ourselves in everything we do over time the emptiness will arise again and again to be dealt with hence the dissatisfaction and stagnation.

     5. As long as things somehow work we are in the elusive conviction that we are okay or even successful. But what we consider being successful is defined by the underlying purpose or impetus of our behaviours. Everything less than love being the base of our lifestyle cannot produce true and sustainable success as only then a fullness instead of an emptiness will be felt and known.

     6. True psychology Alex Braun – simply and beautifully expressed from your lived experience I can feel.

193. Consciously choosing to develop my self-awareness and seeking support from people who speak words that connect with the truth in my body has, like you Kelly opened up a whole new world of seeing myself for who I am. It is also a new level of responsibility I can contribute to the world.

     1. Yes bernadetteglass developing self-awareness certainly walks hand in hand with raising the level of responsibility we have toward our self, others and the world. But ultimately this responsibility comes back to how we are with ourselves as this affects everything and everyone all of the time.

194. I can relate to this Kelly, ‘If I stopped I felt like someone else would be waiting in the wings to take my place and that my golden ticket of belonging would be pulled from my grasp at any time’, working as a photographer there was this idea that you could not stop working and that you could not say no to work because there were so many other photographers who would take your place, there was a huge pressure we put on ourselves, I remember a saying between photographers was ‘you are only as good as your last job’. I do not now get caught up in these ideas and have much more confidence in myself and what I bring without the pressure and anxiety.

195. This reminds me how much out of all my classes I loved my art class. Not because I was particularly good at it but because the teacher was very sweet, understood us, gave us space and the classroom was not rigid and formal. It felt like a time I could just be me with no pressure.

     1. I agree – often we love the subjects that have teachers in them that are fun, relaxed or supportive – it makes any subject more fun, more interesting and easier to learn

        1. Agreed Rebecca. The teacher you have plays a huge part. As we learn what it is to be like with that subject from them a lot.

        2. I agree Emily, I have found that those who truly love their subject and haven’t been so worn down with the system and the curriculum teach in a way that makes you interested

        3. And helps you understand too!

        4. I still remember my art teacher, she could see the joy in me and supported me to keep allowing myself expressing with painting. I loved to be with her classes because she saw me for who I was as the little delicate tender girl. I still remember her very well.

        5. I love those teachers, I was very lucky to have several during my education and they where the corner stone of my love of science, art, english and history.

     2. I agree Vicky. Art classes were by far the best. I remember feeling supported by my teacher so much that it felt okay to cry about the problems I was having in another class. It was a welcome break from the rigidity of the rest of school life.

     3. Being a teacher I totally know the difference between trying to impart knowledge and inspiring students to express themselves. We can either see the curriculum as a heavy hand to wield or a tool to support and enhance an absolute development of a person.

     4. I relate to that too Vicky! Art has always been my favourite subject at school because it’s the only time the syllabus allows room for student’s individual expressions to be developed… What gets tricky is when they try and impose a mark scheme on you; I’ve always felt that it’s pretty impossible to grade students on their different styles and flairs.

196. As everything we produce emanates our energy it does not take much to see that if we create a piece of art in anxiousness, contraction and striving then this will be exactly the quality of energy people who see the artwork will be met with. This is a huge realisation and brings a great sense of responsibility but at the same time it feels like the best excuse in the world, if one is needed, to start deeply caring for and appreciating ourselves.

     1. This is a huge realisation Carolien as pouring emotions into any kind of artistic expression is applauded without questioning what is being produced and magnified for other people and the impact this has on everyone’s well-being and health.

        1. reading your comment Deanne I am seeing more how we are not only not questioning but we are wanting, if not desperately needing it. If the artistic expression does not entice us, engage us, or offers a form of emotion we feel ‘it does nothing’ So we need it to do something. I have come to see how I have used music and art to distract myself from the fact that really I was not happy in life, and being me was not enough.

197. “I no longer feel an attachment to what I make and only paint or draw when I feel to; there is no push or pressure to produce art because I am enough, and what I bring by just being me is simply amazing.” This is an awesome claiming Kelly; letting go of any need for recognition and simply presenting what flows from the Stillness of your own body – which ultimately healed your RSI – thank you for sharing so beautifully.

     1. Love what you say here shelleyjones44, I agree, Kelly has really claimed herself in letting go of any need for recognition, it is amazing how this has eventually healed her RSI. A great example of how we can heal ourselves in really coming to discover who we truly are after peeling off all the layers that are not us. A very worthwhile and needed thing for us all to do. We come to a huge revelation of our true glory in our essence.

     2. From what I understand RSI is considered a degenerative health issue, yet it is something you have managed to fully heal by looking within and dressing your drive for acknowledgment through what you do, this to me is a miracle!

198. Kelly there are many ways we try and get acceptance and recognition and mostly we find it in what we do. To learn to appreciate ourselves from within, by feeling all the lovely qualities we hold will give us a very steady foundation from which to express.

     1. Appreciation for simply being ourselves. Something I know deep down to be absolutely true, and yet quite the opposite of what most of us tend to focus on, including myself a large proportion of the time.

        1. it is still an unfolding for me too Elodie and it is not something we are taught when we are young. IN fact I would say our natural ability to appreciate and feel absolutely full and content within ourselves is driven out by our educational systems and I know I got he message that liking yourself was arrogant or narcissistic. How we have bastardised our true nature!

     2. Acceptance of ourselves also brings more ease and flow to life too. A win win on all counts.

     3. Learning to appreciate ourselves is an art form well worth mastering and certainly does produce a very steady foundation from which to live life, I agree Carolien. Once we do, we can then appreciate everyone else and their exquisite expression too. Life takes on such a different quality and meaning when we step back from attempting to draw from the external world what already lies within us. Universal Medicine has certainly been an immensely positive aid for supporting people re-discover their own glory within, lessons of love that well worth studying to the nth degree.

199. Your story, along with so many others on these pages is another miracle of the power of self care. The super simple act of listening to the body and then acting accordingly, under it’s wisdom, rather than the imposed patterns of the world we live in. It’s inspiring to hear these lived proofs of this science.

     1. I totally agree with you Ottobathrust. It’s amazing to be able to read and witness first hand proof of the difference and life changing experiences people are having through listening and taking care of their bodies. It’s science, and it’s worth experimenting with.

        1. It’s very interesting that you use the word “experiment.” I like it a lot. So few people have that kind of open relationship with their bodies – or even their lives. I was like that. Absolutely. Stuck in a rut; in the way I treated myself and also in the way I went about my day. I don’t mean a rut, as in the 9 to 5 cliche. I mean that I wasn’t remotely open to any kind of relationship or dialogue with my body. I was firmly of the opinion “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” Everything seemed to be working, it got me from A to B, it did what I wanted it to do – that was how I treated my body. A machine. With which I executed whatever it was that needed to be done. Looking back now it is astonishing to see what I was up to, the utter disregard that I had. I treated my car or computer better than I treated my body!!!!! And those things are easily replaceable. Amazing – yet the absolute norm for most. But your use of the word experiment is crucial, because as soon as we open the door to the possibility of another way, of trying stuff out, of eating different things, moving in a different way…experimenting…our bodies immediately come alive with communication and show us another way of being. So, experimenting is key. It is the unlocking of the door.

        2. Elodie and Otto,
           Your sharing here cracks open deep held consciousness that our body is not important, the way of living we have been taught from young, if we get sick, rest, but get back to how you were living before as quick as possible is the way to go through life.
           There was never any suggestion to ask the question, why did you get sick in the first place? Are you truly aware of what your personal body needs to support it? And the understanding that this may well be different from what another needs to support their body.
           So yes to experiment with our own body and to respond to what works for it is paramount in our turning the tide and nourishing our bodies, stilling our bodies and feeling our true self begin to appear from deep within. This way of living, asking the questions and deeply considering that adjustments are needed to support ourselves in full, is our way forward.

     2. It so is Otto- hints that there is another way.

200. Appreciation of our selves and what we bring is the only way to truly love ourselves and be ourselves in everything and from this comes living simply and joyfully who we are without any need from anything or anyone else.Thank you kelly for this beautiful sharing.

201. “When I allow myself the space and truly feel what is there to be expressed, then painting and drawing open up a path of my life that is there to be shared with everyone.” love the way you found your true expression and share with all, thank you!

     1. That would be great to see your expression through art Francisco. Your tenderness in a painting of art – I would love to hang onto my wall at home that I would look at it as a reminder of my own tenderness. This is the true way of art, the expression of our connection to our universal belonging inside of us, that can be so tender and delicate, playful and amazing beautiful, and that can be just one stroke of a brush.

202. We need to appreciate everyone for who we are and not for what we are good at. At my school kids that were good at sport, especially rugby got on very well and were popular. I made the top teams so I was ok, but back then I never thought about how the guys felt that weren’t popular or made the teams or got good grades (which I didn’t) felt. What does any of this matter if there is no love or brotherhood.

203. “The way to change that was simple, to truly love and recognise myself for whom I was.” I love the simplicity of what you say here. I remember as a teenager and young woman the inner turmoil I lived of not knowing who I wanted to be. There was this massive array of possibilities and nothing was fitting and all I did was trying a bit of each aspect and never feeling true. I got this feeling of living a fake life. Through the lived teachings of Serge Benhayon I let go of all of this impositions and learned to surrender to myself and the simplicity and joy that came with this is absolutely amazing.

204. We are already everything and what we do is simply an expression of who we are. I love what you share here Kelly about knowing that our love is an A+, claiming top marks in love for simply being ourselves!! The drive to succeed and with this get recognition and money (one of the biggest traps of ‘doing’) is massive and ingrained in all areas of life. I have been learning to look at my workday not in terms of successful done outcomes but in terms of how loving I have been with the people I work with, the work I do and with myself.

205. Dear Kelly,
     What you share here goes for anything that we have invested into to prove ourselves or to feel good about our selves. For me there has been a list of activities, riding horses, being a wife, a mother, a volunteer in my community and a practitioner, to name a few.
     This energy has infiltrated just about every corner of my life. The anxiousness that came with it was intense, there was never a moment where I wasn’t expecting my life to come crashing down around me. Today I am feeling very present and still and have felt this sense of give up, this feeling that life is not how I expected it to be and there is nothing I can do about it. My sense is that this belief has been underlying my need to constantly do to gain recognition and to be accepted, to be the best I can be. That it was there in my body long before I began my many pursuits in gaining acceptance.
     Feeling this today is different though. It is like it is there, but no longer a chosen way of mine. I have felt it in many around me today and a realisation has dropped a spec of gold for me to consider. Because this energy is so rife in society, that the choice to go with it has been easy to make. Now though with my love and light from within gently nudging me it feels horrible to play ball with. My play is changed forever today, there is a much deeper acceptance in my body, an understanding of how influential each of us is as a human with the energy that we choose and emanate. What can each of us do with living our own A+ in love?

206. Thank you Kelly. You describe the absolute hell on earth that needing any form of recognition is. It destroys us. Knowing ourselves and accepting ourselves rather than waiting for another to accept us is beautiful and leaves us free to live true to ourselves.

     1. “Knowing ourselves and accepting ourselves rather than waiting for another to accept us is beautiful and leaves us free to live true to ourselves”. This simple truth, lived, is the antidote to so many ills that are in our world today. Ills on all levels, personal, family, work, corporate and government. Our world is aching to find the way to change so much, to be able to reflect to all that to do so we need to first address how we are in our own bodies is now our first job in life.

207. Seeking recognition in one way or another will never fulfill. We put so much pressure on ourselves to be and act a certain way, and just like you Kelly I always looked very calm and easy going but on the inside I was very nervous and insecure. The Gentle Breath Meditation was the beginning of being with myself and letting go of beliefs and ideals of how I should be. And this is what it is all about; ‘My art expression now comes through with a new light that flows from the stillness of my body in that moment.’ It is this lived quality that is there for all to enjoy and to heal. Thank you Kelly for sharing.

208. And the many glorious shiny stars in your book are well deserved Kelly as taking the courage to work on ourselves is not something that we have learned to do. The normal way is to continuously trying to improve and to prove ourselves measuring to the world. Now your art is serving the public in general and I feel that we are all blessed by what you bring and share with all of humanity.

209. When there is a drive to be or create something it lacks the ability to inspire someone to be all they can be. As described when a person is using recognition as a driving source for their fuel their output will never deliver a person to total inspiration to who they are because the person who is producing the work isn’t in that state either.

210. Understanding we are enough first and that lived understanding is what comes through in our work whatever it may be, and that we are not amazing because of what we do has changed the way I live my life and feel about myself completely.

     1. Beautiful nicolesjardin as Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine has reminded us, we were beautiful at the birth of the day before we do anything and that we can feel this beauty any time we stop and re-connect to the essence of who we are.This is our birthright.

        1. Yes Kathleen, I walked past a sleeping infant in a pram today and the perfection and stillness was mesmerising – I could feel how complete we all are at that stage of our lives.

        2. Yes Nicole the stillness of a sleeping baby is mesmerising, not so still once they wake up though. . . haha

        3. No definitely not – game on once those eyes pop open.

211. I’ve never really been able to appreciate art that much something just didn’t understand or get, as I was reading thou I defiantly got a different sense of the true potential art has for us when it comes from who we are not want we want to be.

212. What a beautiful return to the shiny star that you are Kelly- sparkling for all to see just being yourself, and allowing this love and light to shine through in your art work, without the need for recognition anymore. How freeing this feels for you now.

213. Trying to please others or get recognition is an endless pursuit indeed. On the other side there is a great sense of completion that comes with being and expressing all of me.

214. I like that Kelly, when you give a description of people, such as Serge Benhayon, being a star not because of any glamour or famousness, but actually the true success of who he is. Thank you for sharing how meeting Serge and the teachings of Universal Medicine has changed your life for good.

215. There’s such an irony being presented here – we want to be seen for who we are, so to do that we do something to be seen (in Kelly’s case – art) which actually distracts others from who we are and we are left feeling like we are nothing without the thing we do. Crazy!

     1. Exposes the absurdity we have fallen for and deeply invested in. The intensity of emotional hurt and need make us utterly blind for the simplicity of truth, hence causing lack of awareness might be the actual intention behind all hurt and need.

     2. I agree Lucy. One of the issues is that whenever we truly show who we are, all of it, to be seen by all, people may not respond favourably as they may compare themselves to you. Hence we choose safe substitutes like being seen for our skills and talents.

        1. Sometimes when we shine Cristoph Schnelle, the light is too bright and people shy away from it at first, but with time the light filters into their lives too, and they begin to see that they too can be all that they are.

        2. Our light can never be too bright Catherine. There’s eons-worth of darkness to bring our light to.

     3. Ironic to the core, Lucy. That need to be seen is so all consuming for us that many people will go to extreme lengths to achieve it, but those extreme cases of the drive for notoriety are not what is the most damaging to us as a society. Most damaging is the fact that it is so common for the vast majority of us to go into that drive over something in our lives for no other reason than to have some kind of sense of achievement.
        While the extreme cases can be a driving quest for fame, the simple ones like trying to get a high score on a video game, or memorising sports facts which can be recalled at a moment’s notice are actually most harmful, because they fool us into thinking that we are being better versions of ourselves by accumulating these things, which are, as you say Lucy, actually taking ourselves further away from knowing ourselves and allowing others to truly know us as well.

216. Great blog which leaves me wondering what your ‘before and after’ art looks like – the former surely must reflect the investment you had in what the end result would bring you and the latter carrying that stillness and space which you now fully own.

     1. It would be great to feel and see the difference between the two. Much like listening to the imposition, emotion and need heard in most songs as opposed to the music produced by Michael Benhayon which leaves us free from harm.

        1. Well nominated Jenny, music is a big thing when we look at it in the way of true expression coming without a need of recognition. The music of Michael Benhayon is this and does not need anything from us when we listen, other than enjoying the feeling of self and the connection with the stillness and joy from within. You can say it is a confirmation of the love you are – that does not need to be proved, just enjoyed.

217. It was really beautiful to read how you now are with your art compared to the past, I can only imagine the beauty imprinted on the canvas now. Responsibility is a big word and the quality we are in at any moment is paramount for what it reflects to others… so it is just gorgeous that you are now choosing love and blessing all with this.

     1. Absolutely Samantha. The quality we live in affects everything we do – our work, relationships, home, artwork etc., so indeed we do have a responsibility to live lovingly because everything we create and do is reflected back to others.

        1. This is the ultimate way of living and supports each person to make the same choices.

        2. I am noticing this fact in my life more and more Susie I can be so solid at work, but if I don’t bring equal dedication to my relationships at home, unnecessary dramas can arise which affect the otherwise consistent steadiness and care I bring.

218. Beautiful blog Kelly and one I can very much identify with. What a glorious moment to realise that you are simply enough by connecting to and expressing all your innate love and beauty.There is no painting or artwork in the world that can match such expression, with the exception of one man’s work, a man who expressed his divinity in everything he produced because he knew he was a Universal Man, the one and only Leonardo De Vinci. The quality of his work is a quality to truly aspire too and a quality that is not based on solely on technical skill or talent, but the quality of the lived life. When we truly express our love in our ordinary day to day lives, we can make every inch of it a living work of art that can be felt, appreciated and enjoyed by all.

219. This reminds me of myself- the constant drive for recognition is a known one for me. I needed two slipped disc to realize I had to stop the way I was living my life.What a blessing it is to get an injury or disease and how many signs must we had dismissed in the first place ?!

     1. OH PC
        Beautiful way to describe injury as a blessing and not a burden, Steffi. I used to get recognition with art and creation with handmade things in every way you can imagine. I was very into finding ways to get attentions. Having turned this creation around now into accepting myself for my amazingness that I am from birth onwards feels a lot lighter and joyful. My natural way of being playful and expressing my tender exquisite qualities in all that I do is now my way to express art. Haven’t had the need to be seen from others anymore – that is the real deal and discovering even more of my amazingness that I am with me in every step I go and in all I touch, gosh there is so much true art in my day now, loving it.

        1. It is beautiful to feel your amazing joy in letting go of the dependency to the outside! How much more light and joyful is a life that doesn´t need and expect from the outside. I know these moments now and I am constantly growing with them.

     2. Steffihenn I know what you mean about an injury or disease to stop us in our tracks and invite us to make much needed change ✨

220. Being able to write this article with such strength and clarity is a confirmation of the A+ you’re writing about. I am too learning that being with my body is actually the most precious gift I can give myself. From there life is flowing, simple and joyful. As in everything and everybody I then see the beauty. It is in the end a simple choice. Whether to be distracted by life or staying with ourselves. Even though it needs practice and choice to do so, well in my experience at least.

     1. Yes Floris van der Schot, as you say bringing life back to simplicity and connection really does build a strong foundation for a life with flow and joy.

        1. Thank you Kelly for the confirmation you’re giving here. Reading your simple and truthful comment makes me realise that I’ve been pushing myself for most of my life to ‘get to know life’ – towards an end point. I was under the strong belief that if I had a certain number of realisations I would be arriving at an end point; a goal to be reached. What could or would be after this point is something – I am realising when I write this – that I’ve never considered. It has been a constant push, drive to get there. Which in fact has been a push and drive to nowhere. Whenever I achieved something, I was proud and appreciative and could take a rest – because this might be the final point to get the ‘diploma’. Soon after I would realise that this wasn’t the final point. And then I would become self-critical. Now I understand that there’s no final point, nothing to reach -I simply have to be me, constantly. This realisation is big for me. I had been appreciating myself for the ability to observe life and for my own beliefs. I know it’s time now to live less fragmented – in a constant connection with me. Isn’t that a gift and another revelation in itself: that I am to be in constant connection with myself, with my love, my tenderness, my preciousness, my sweetness, my joy, my lightness, my delicateness? And I am the one that needs to give permission to so choose. Beautiful.

221. If everything is energy, what energy did people receive when looking at your earlier art which was produced from drive, recognition and anxiousness, and what energy do they receive from your art now that is expressed from love and stillness? Thank you for a great sharing, Kelly.

222. Thank you for sharing this amazing story Kelly. I did a similar thing with sport – I found that this was how I was accepted yet it was not the true me. I had to harden and become super aggressive and competitive to feel like I was accepted and when I knew this was not me and stopped playing sport I felt at a bit of a loss. I now have come to the understanding that I am whole and complete regardless of what I do. That I bring myself to what I do and that I define what I do – I am not defined by what I do. A huge thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for supporting me to understand this.

223. Loved your sharing here Kelly, I didn’t pursue art with the drive you describe but I do relate to feeling at home with art as a subject at school and after that, I squashed my expression because I wasn’t really good at it so gave up. That has it’s own consequences. I too used to have very shaky hands and was very racy, I now feel very different in my body and feel a love and kindness to myself I have never known before. So amazing what is being lived and presented by Serge and many others.

224. This is a great article Kelly, I can relate to this as I pushed myself with my work as a photographer when i was younger, i didn’t take care of myself and would work long hours with no consideration for my health, i worked in a very driven way and didn’t really enjoy my work, that has changed now and im learning to work in a much more gentle, still and nurturing way and this feels lovely and makes working so much more enjoyable and my photos are so much more lovely as a result.

225. I’ve never really been into a lot of art and from what I understand now its often filled with a lot of emotion or self interest. Its rare to find art without this that really inspires you and doesn’t ask for anything from you. There’s a lot of falseness and showiness in that industry but what you’ve explained Kelly makes sense as many use it to gain their worth from the world.

     1. Kristy, though you say, you have not been a lot in art – for me you nailed it! In our days art is an expression from self, whatever self may entail or wants to express. Rarely you can find art which is all encompassing and universally expressing. What does it mean? Look at Mona Lisa and you will know.

226. “Receiving Gold Stars Just For Being You.”

     Imagine ALL teachers, parents and ALL adults genuinely giving Gold stars to our young, out of sheer adoration and love and NOT simply because they’ve done something good.

     How confident would they grow up to be?

227. Thankyou Kelly for sharing your experiences. I can relate to driving myself at school to deliver top marks in essays and tests. It’s such a dreadful feeling to move through school knowing no one sees you for who you are, and to then strive to become more in terms of achievement to receive any form of attention and worth – even at the expense of my health. This is how important connection is as a basic human need. To be truly met, connected to, known, appreciated, and loved for who we are is what we all deeply want. Even with all the riches of the world and basic needs taken care of, we still yearn to feel this. Nothing can fill us like our own true self. Thank goodness Serge Benhayon is able to show us how to do this for ourselves, connect to the true essence of who we are, and love and appreciate ourselves.

228. Great blog Kelly in how we can get so lost when we look for identification outside of ourselves. “I now know that my love is an A+ and we all claim top marks in love no matter what, for simply being ourselves”. And we don’t even have to sit for exams, all we have to do is be and live love.

229. Its amazing to distinguish our love of something from a drive to make it so. In recognising where that drive originates allows the integrity for doing so to be reclaimed. Thank you Kelly for going there and sharing this invaluable find.

230. We have all taken refuge in something that has brought recognition, acknowledgement rewards, something we believed was needed to make the statement in the world I am worthy, I am important. I make a difference. This has proven to be an unpredictable, bumpy and powerless road, which is at the mercy of the whim of forces outside our control – forces that are not true and nothing about who we truly are. What you are sharing Kelly is a gift to us all – a gentle reminder that within is an ever constant Love that is perfect and is there to offer the reflection to others that they too, are amazing and to let their ever constant light shine from within.

231. We are all artists in life. Everything we do is the stroke of a brush or a turn on a potter’s wheel. We are in constant creation, and the quality of this creation, its governing impulse, is revealed in our bodies, far more so than may be seen in our completed works.
     Our body reveals all with its pains, illnesses and trembles – the quality of every choice exposed for us to see.
     How beautiful that you chose to see all that was there to be seen Kelly, and made another choice.

232. Kelly this is such a beautiful sharing. You have expressed so gorgeously how your life changed after finding the Universal Medicine and meeting Serge Benhayon which I can relate to 100%. I realised that what I was searching for was within me, was my connection to me and from here the drive and pressure I was existing with to achieve began to naturally drop away. ‘The way to change that was simple, to truly love and recognise myself for whom I was. This opened up my whole way of being in and with the world. It was an ever-growing and undoing of old habits and choices that I peeled back bit by bit when I was ready to be honest with myself and my body.’ I have also found that being honest with ourselves is super empowering as it allows us to know who we truly are and how we truly feel. This is key to freeing us from the captivity we exist in by chasing and pursuing all that we think will bring us what we are searching for. Kelly your transformation is inspirational as by being and living you, you already are a magnificent work of art that is truly alive. Thank you.

233. We are all worth A++ for just being ourselves and with the letting go of striving for recognition and the commitment to true self-care we can heal ourselves. How awesome is that and thank you for sharing so honestly Kelly about the remarkable turnaround in your life.

234. I now know that my love is an A+ and we all claim top marks in love no matter what, for simply just being ourselves. Not a truer word was said Kelly, us and our own love are top of the class and all that we need to bring to whatever it is that we do, then we will see some amazingly heavenly works of art through that living loving way.

235. I am blown away reading your gorgeous blog Kelly. This piece of writing is a revelation for me. I can feel I have wanted others to love me through what I produce.

     Painting and drawing are very precious to me, however, I find it incredibly difficult to do these things as thoughts about how others will feel about what I produce constantly creep in. Rather than face this I have shut down this aspect of my expression. Reading your experience opens me up to expressing in this way once more from a place of truth.

     I can accept I do not need to be perfect and that thoughts may come in but I also feel this is part of the process and provides me with an opportunity to face these things and move through them. Thank you Kelly.

     1. For a period of my life I stopped painting completely because I felt my work wasn’t good enough, but this is just our heads playing little tricks with us. We are amazing already and when we live from that quality of connection every expression be it walking, talking or painting is a pure masterstroke.

        1. Thank you Kelly. It is tempting to hide away when there is much to feel but you show it does not need to be this way.

236. I noticed this one day at work when it dropped in that i was a true artisan. In the sense that how I lived my life was a living artistry and that from the way i walked, to how i set the table, cooked a meal and worked was all an art form. That art is not something we make or place on canvas – it is in everything we do when it comes from being who we are.

     1. We are all amazing artisans indeed Marcia. We all express with our own unique flavour from the largest gallery ever. That’s pure artistry right there.

     2. This is truly beautiful Marcia, it is an absolute joy to feel the exquisiteness of what you have shared here, and is like an open invite to feel the same for myself when I live from who I am.

        1. Beautiful Leigh, for we are indeed all a Mona Lisa.

237. It may be obvious, but it feels like you have truly discovered Kelly, the art of being you. From this knowing everything that you do carries with it the stillness and beauty that is so worthwhile exhibiting.

238. This is a great statement “I no longer feel an attachment to what I make and only paint or draw when I feel to; there is no push or pressure to produce art because I am enough, and what I bring by just being me is simply amazing”. The difference in quality knowing you are enough vs not feeling enough is huge and I know which artwork i would prefer on my wall. Thank you Kelly.

239. Thank you Kelly for dropping the act and presenting the real you. We are so used to putting on a show, a seemingly perfect life on the outside and a nervous and anxious wreck on the inside. And all for what? To gain recognition and acceptance for an act we have to put on day in day out which leaves us empty and by the end of the day exhausted only to start over again the next morning. Thank God for Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine to show us that there is another way. A way of living where the outer is not given more attention than the inner, where love and true connection is what leads us and a deep care for oneself and another.

240. what you have shared is really important, because we often encourage our children to strive to be the best or better, but don’t stop to consider what that is doing to them as they grow up

241. I find it interesting that so many covet a natural talent in something so that they can shine, not realising that if it is produced out of a need for recognition then it becomes empty and meaningless. So many teenagers craving love fantasise about becoming famous and being in the spot light, not understanding that without self love and appreciation it is just as empty and lonely there as it was before! What you have shared is awesome Kelly – a must read for all teenagers – because you share that in spite of your amazing natural talent it did not give you what you really wanted, being seen for you, which had to come from you with or without the art, but once felt and expressed the real shine can pour out.

     1. Yes Michelle819 I feel that many children and teenagers today would benefit greatly from a class on accepting themselves and nurturing who they are. That would be an awesome subject for all. No amount of recognition can dampen the love we hold within when we are living from that quality and acceptance of self.

242. Wow, Kelly. This turns the paradigms of art, writing, sculpture, raising children, running business and putting together IKEA furniture all on its head. It is not about what you do, producing a finished product (be that a piece of art or a set of shelves), but how you do it which makes all of the difference and counts far more than we give it credit for.
     The question I am left pondering is why is it that our most precious body, our medium through which we will express all that we are, is held in such low regard in our drive to be identified with things and stuff which diminish our ability to express all that we are.

243. We can spend a long time striving for recognition from a talent of some kind. There is a famous book completely dedicated to recognition, that being the Guinness Book of World Records. We can do some really strange, painful and dangerous things in pursuit of recognition and fame.

244. This continuous strain of what to achieve, to be seen is extremely exhausting. What Serge Benhayon presents, that we are already enough being who we ARE, has set me free from a prison, in which I have played prisoner for a long time.

245. Thank you Kelly this blog clearly shows how there is never anything we do when pushing ourselves that is worth more than the love we hold in ourselves. The top marks or recognition from others matter naught if we are not first the shining beauty we are inside.

246. And once we appreciate all that we are, we will become independent of recognition and thereby take an immense pressure from ourselves and everybody around us.

247. When we give ourselves permission to shine the light that we are, all others are able to receive it, if they so choose, by virtue of the fact that they are also of this one same light. Anything we create, be it song, book, play, movie, artwork etc. that is done of and from this light, has the ability to inspire all others to live this, their one true light, also. That said, the opposite is also true and so it stands that we are forever responsible for our every expression and its ability to either heal or harm. Is it love or is it not?

     1. Liane, what you explain here, cannot be repeated and taught often enough, as most of the world is not aware of it. They are not aware though they feel it irrevocable. Everything we ‘produce’, let it be music, art or a simple meal, has the imprint of how we have done it. It has an imprint of the quality we were and are in. No one can deny that a meal cooked with love and alertness tastes differently and has a different effect on our body. The same is valid for all the other ‘products’ or our doings.

        1. As we are, so we will be.
           The quality in which we stand will be the quality with which we move.

248. It is really amazing and such a blessing that when we can’t see for ourselves that the way we are living isn’t in line with who we are, then the body will step in and make us see, for example through your anxiety and RSI.

     1. We can be so lost that it takes our body to bring us back on track. The body is always on track as it is made that way and it cannot but communicate back to us what is really going on. We might need a while to finally listen and understand but it is never too late.

     2. Yes Suzanne I find the same, it is amazing how the body responds or reacts to what we are choosing and I find it lets me know in no uncertain terms whenever I take steps away from loving connection these days. It is a blessing.

249. “I now know that my love is an A+ and we all claim top marks in love no matter what, for simply just being ourselves. That definitely deserves many glorious shiny gold stars in my book.”

     Hear hear Kelly. And those many gold stars are but a reflection of the one bright light that we shine when we live the love within our hearts.

250. This is a great sharing Kelly. Often when we make art it is an outpouring of emotion that can be so extreme at times it feels like an onslaught/assault to those that view it and a relief to the artist. Even when we don’t think we are being imposed upon as viewers we are still receiving the energy it was created in. Everything about how the artist made the work is consumed by us when we read, feel, hear or see the finished product. That is, the emotional state the artist was in when the piece was created is the emotional state we absorb as the audience. Kelly, I love how you describe how your ‘art expression now comes through with a new light that flows from the stillness’ in your body, for it is this that is offered to all who choose to view your work – a very gorgeous gift indeed.

251. It is not natural for us to be un-appreciated, and when we are babes, we quickly learn that we receive more attention for what we can do than for who we actually are. From there, there is a downward spiral for most of us, as we grow up in a world that is continually offering us any identity we wish for. But never does it offer us the simplicity of knowing ourselves free of such imposition.

252. ‘How could I ever get bored, resentful or complaining when each moment is an amazing opportunity to express how I feel and who I truly am.’ Yes, that is how it is when we are expressing ourselves with fullness – I find boredom creeps in when I hold back on expression.

253. These words really stood out for me…”I now care for myself with a level of preciousness and depth of love I never knew possible…” just gorgeous and powerful. How amazing Kelly to be connected to yourself to this level now, when not so long ago it seemed no amount of recognition from others ever satisfied. And not only do you feel this depth within, in your process of healing the RSI has also gone. This is great testament to the work presented by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine

     1. Yes Paula I found these words deeply touching too.

254. “I would use food as a distraction, to numb myself from the continual feeling of tiredness and anxiety I felt from the push to always be doing more” – It’s interesting how we can use anything – food, alcohol, drugs, even achievements, to prevent us from feeling and dealing with what is actually going on.

     1. I’ve even noticed myself thinking I need to check my emails when I am not wanting to feel something, just a way to distract myself from where I actually need to be.

     2. Yes it is interesting how it can be any of of these vices and what is funny is that some are more acceptable than others when actually they are all the same as they are all wanting to achieve the same thing – numbness and to deny what we feel inside.

     3. Oh yes Hannah and not many people equate over-achieving to drug-taking even though both are a distraction from feeling our feelings and dealing with them. The nervous stress and anxiety that accompanies striving and pushing to achieve has an enormous effect on the body as do drugs. Both take their toll.

     4. Obviously everything that serves us to avoid awareness and hence responsibility and hence changing the way we are living. Self needs to be shielded from the all to be self-ish.

255. The strive for good grades in school, be it for recognition, attention, a sense of worth, acceptance or any other reason competes with our natural A+ of who we are naturally. I was told a story of a girl who didn’t get good enough grades at school to go to uni, who today is in the middle of a PhD in biomedical science. This is a great example of how we can easily achieve anything when we put our heart into it.

     1. I honestly thought I was stupid at school because I wasn’t an A student. Because of the way the system operates and what gets you recognition I honestly believed that if you didn’t get As you weren’t really of much value, at least that is what I told myself in the absence of self worth! Of course I wasn’t stupid, I was actually a very wise teenager but didn’t express it, reducing myself to fit in and conform. I can certainly relate to what you are talking about Abby.

     2. Yes Abby I couldn’t agree more. Our heart really does lead the way for us all.

     3. Yes a great example Abby. It also shows that the anxiousness of not achieving, or not knowing what we want to do is false, because if we listen to our heart, we know what is there to be done.

256. I can relate to that Kelly. I did some ‘Art’, was good in many ways of expressions here, but I had to realize that I did my Art to sit at home, hide from the world and just did my Art to avoid going out and meeting people. This kind of Art was in truth not serving anyone. I did let go of doing ‘Art’ and started the Art of Living – called The Way of the Livingness.

257. We are enough just as we are, the deep love that resides within is a reflection of the deep love in all others – all we need to do is claim it and all else follows – Thank you Kelly for bringing out your amazing light so that we too can see our reflection in it.

258. This is a awesome blog Kelly. “I realised that from my continual drive and pressure to be recognised for my art I was actually pushing away all I really ever wanted, and that was to be seen for who I truly was.” I have been here too, striving in making art that was ‘different’ and thinking it is what we DO that defines us when it is never that and can never be enough. I also have been learning as you have through Universal Medicine that simply being yourself is more than enough. How can your art not be a beautiful reflection when you are coming from your true self with no need or drive.

259. Whilst producing art was certainly not one of my talents I can totally relate to the state of performance anxiety you describe. If I hadn’t found my way to Universal Medicine and Esoteric Healing I have absolutely no doubt that I would still be suffering the same conditions now and my nervous system would be a wreck. The path back to fully appreciating the Love that I am is glorious, and to do so with the support and sharing of everyone on the same path is the greatest joy.

260. Kelly, your blog beautifully showcases how talent without a connection to ourselves is ultimately empty, we never have enough, there is always something else to perfect, a constant feeling of having to prove ourselves and no true coming home to ourselves and our bodies. And when we have that connection, when we lovingly build it in each and every move we make, any of our ‘talents’s are there to be expressed from that, but we are not a slave to them, we’re not attached to their outcomes and we offer something even more precious to the world than our talents, us, the world gets to see us, and feel us, and I love that about your blog how you now are showing you to the world and that we all can, just be us.

261. Unless we do not appreciate deeply what we are and what we bring, no one in the world and outside of it can give us the feeling of worthiness.

     1. And once we appreciate all that we are, we will become independent of recognition and thereby take an immense pressure from ourselves and everybody around us.

        1. Good point Michael, we forget also that living the less that we are, has an impact on the people around us.

     2. All our lives we get taught that we are what we do and thereby are under enormous pressure and strain. Opening up to honestly looking at what we are up to, we will realise that it is not what we do that matters, but how we do it. Therefore the biggest game-changer is not improving ourselves, but realising, that we are wonderful just as we are and start living from that realisation.

        1. Beautiful expressed Michael and nailed 🙂

     3. Absolutely- it is otherwise a never ending process of getting recognition, having a high from it and immediately after, looking for the next high, because we are not living a life filled with US. No high can ever fill this gap.

        1. Actually it is a kind of addiction, looking for recognition outside of us is.

        2. Absolutely! It is a pattern that kicks in seemingly automatically and you need to find its root cause. Otherwise it will act out without any control.

     4. When I heard the first time that self-worth is something that we already carry within us and just need to come back to I had difficulties to understand as how can it be there when I don´t feel it. To let go of all the fillers from the outside and turn towards myself allows to remove the layers that have me kept separate to the preciousness waiting inside.

262. To no longer look on the outside for recognition and to begin to look inside at our glory – well that is definitely a priceless piece of art.

     1. Yes Lindell, no amount of money in the world could ever buy the enormous love we all hold within.

     2. The impact on our body and emotional wellbeing is underestimated as we do not see in our lives the extent that we seek recognition through what we do. Universal Medicine teachings wisely introduced me to its not what you do but how you do it and I have to say as simple as these words are I have needed support to understand what ‘how’ means and feels like as well as many reminders to not make it about what I ‘do’.

263. Kelly the depth that we seek recognition and acceptance is so vast, its interesting hearing your story and experience with art as this has a parallel to my experience with work it seems whatever the outlet if its not being who we truly are then anxiousness takes over.

264. Knowing and accepting that we are enough is the antidote and medicine for seeking recognition from others for what we do and not who we are. Being ourselves should be the most natural thing in the world to do but we loose it when we seek recognition at the expense of who we are.

     1. Absolutely Alison – ‘Being ourselves should be the most natural thing in the world to do’. This is what we should be taught as children, that who we naturally are within is already everything and developing living in connection to this knowing is where our true power is. As with this, seeking recognition holds no attraction as the light it shines is far dimmer in contrast to the brilliance of who we are within.

     2. That’s so true, we totally lose sight of and connection with who we truly are at the expense of what we might and can be fed from the outside.

265. Thank you Kelly for such an honest exposé on the transformation from the artist striving for recognition at all costs, (the main cost being the harmful impact on your body), to the glorious woman, who in her true connection to herself is now able to bring forth an expression of art with no attachment and without any need for recognition. This will be the art that inspires and allows the observer to feel the truth of what is being expressed.

266. Kelly – love your A+ in love. What a huge difference to the drive you used to carry.
     It is interesting that all your friends saw you as calm and yet you felt very far from this. We can be masters of hiding what we feel in order to get by, when really our bodies are stronger than our minds, and if they work separate to our minds, then it will catch up with us. From what you share about your experience of Universal Medicine, you were able to deeply understand your body and perhaps it is not about what we do and what we achieve but how we are with ourself first.

     1. I agree, hvmorden, we can really be masters of hiding what we feel. I did that for much of my life, on the surface I appeared to be quite calm and confident, but underneath, I had such a huge lack of self worth, felt myself less than just about anybody, I was so lacking in confidence, and so contracted from myself. But I went about with that confident facade, and feeling absolutely miserable within. How wonderful it has been for me to also transform my life through my experience with Universal Medicine and its wonderful practitioners, but particularly with Serge Benhayon who is such an amazing role model for us all.

        1. Lovely to hear Beverley. When we no longer live a double life we can start to bring in honesty. That honesty is what people trust, what forms consistency and what forms an openness that is so needed in today’s society.

           I too am blessed to have realised that there is more to life than hiding from it, and that with honesty I am able to let go of what I allowed to keep me small, that was not actually me to begin with.

267. Being recognised and accepted by what we do and not who we are is crazy when we compare it’s quality to what we have inside. The more I connect to my feelings the more that this put on act just feels wrong, even if it gets applauded or the attention/outcome we were seeking. It simply doesn’t compare to that acceptance that can be felt from within us.

     1. Yes Leigh everything that we do for recognition comes with a murky quality. When we express from our own love and acceptance of self, the quality is stunningly clear.

     2. Leigh so well said. Brilliant.

268. Kelly thank you for sharing, it’s crazy how our drive to be recognised can create so much anxiousness and nervous energy. It’s not until our body starts to physically show us that’s something is wrong, we then stop to look. It’s beautiful to hear that as you worked with your breath that you was able to eliminate the RSI condition you had in your hand. That just shows how our body is all connected, from the breath to every cell in the body.

269. I love your really honest blog it is the swan on the water analogy … calm on the surface but legs paddling like crazy underneath the water. It is funny how we hold onto to one thing that we are good at or like and make this all about us instead of having the deep self worth for ourselves first knowing that who we are is enough. I could really relate with what you shared here .. I remembered I have done this in the past and it was a horrible feeling to remember ‘If I stopped I felt like someone else would be waiting in the wings to take my place and that my golden ticket of belonging would be pulled from my grasp at any time’. It is a constant anxiousness and panick held in the body and exposing the lack of true relationship we have with ourselves. It is also lovely to read how your body has healed and you have come to a deeper understanding with all of this, Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have helped and supported many including myself.

270. This is so inspirational Kelly! We all want to be recognized at some time in our lives for the talent we have in some area , but the real truth is that we do only want others to see the truth of who we truly are. Our inner light shines brightly if we only let it and Love is definitely the answer.

271. Beautiful sharing Kelly, it is amazing how much anxiousness we can create to be recognised for the things we do, yet none of this should ever define us as it can never be greater than who we naturally are when we just be. And when we accept us and our A+ love then everything we do become so much greater anyway.

272. If we get identified with what we do and want something from it, like in most cases recognition, than there is no room for love. Love can only be there, when there is no want, need or fix.

273. Yes it’s true. Love makes all the difference. We are nothing without it.

274. ‘I feel that my art allows others to be inspired and shine their own unique essence too, in whatever ways they choose, and that is a pretty amazing sight to behold’ – Wow Kelly, I love this! As an artist myself, I can totally relate to this blog. I used to enjoy showing off my art, often to gain recognition in a similar way you did, but nowadays I have let go of quite a lot of this and am now loving my Art lessons at school purely because it’s the one lesson at school I feel I can seriously express. Art is awesome!

275. Art, music and other creative areas are ripe for getting recognition, the poor man’s version of ‘love’. I used to spend hours working on detailed drawings anticipating the climax of showing it to someone, usually my mother, to say how great it is and how clever I am. After she died the point of making art died with her and I stopped for a long time. Art has allowed me to shirk the responsibility of loving myself, but now that I have come full circle to know that and to build love for me, I feel that I can get back to art with the grace of its true purpose: to confirm that there is much more to us than flesh and blood, to share the magnificence of our divine origin.

276. Kelly, you blow out of the water for the vast majority of B, C and failing students who look up to the A graders as having it all. The fact that those at the top are equally anxious as those in the middle and bottom says much about how we are in our Education system. The stress we all put ourselves under to seek recognition is becoming more and more intense as we fight what is truly innate, which is being ourselves and all loving. Thank you for sharing. We need more testimonies from those who reached the top of the tree to expose the rot of what we have created.

277. It is amazing that we seek recognition for what we do rather than from who we are and if unchecked anxiety kicks in because we are so anxious that we won’t be recognised for what we are doing. Its just a vicious circle really and never allows us to be seen for who we. Kelly, it is beautiful that you can now paint from your essence and not out of the need to produce something.

278. It is interesting here to consider how, when there is deeply held anxiousness and tension in the body, this will affect our movements, and as art is created by movement of the body, how we are feeling on the inside will affect the art we create. It’s like a mathematical equation that we can influence and change with the art piece being the final result or the sum of all the pieces of life added together.

279. In school I developed my love of photography and I received a lot of recognition from it. I was just hiding behind the lens… people would see the lens and not me I became invisible. I still have in an old portfolio some of the photos from that time and the photos are good but they are filled with emptiness that can be felt. I still carry a small camera with me for when I see something that interests me… but now they are the spender of nature that wind up in my screen saver collection.

280. Kelly it is beautiful to read the transformation in your symptoms and the way in which you are with yourself in life. It goes to show how hard we become and how hard we make life by doing so. Conversely how simple and joyous life can be if we live with and celebrate that from within first and foremost.

281. Gorgeous sharing Kelly- thank you.

     It’s amazing that by holding yourself in the loving preciousness you are how you have healed your arm.

     I love the title and your final two paragraphs especially.

282. “Without art, who was I in this vast world?” You can change the expression from Art to whatever, but this is the existential question that faces so many of us, and that inspired an entire philosophical movement. Yet rather than finding the answer in reams of books, or high brow intellectual dialogue the answer is so absurdly simple…. we are all that we need to be already. With a few shining examples, this gives each and every one of us the opportunity to reconnect to an innermost essence that is our birth right.

     1. It is absurdly simple indeed and there is a lot of pride to be swallowed in the realisation – OMG ‘we are all that we need to be already’! This is true art, Gods way.

283. “If I stopped I felt like someone else would be waiting in the wings to take my place and that my golden ticket of belonging would be pulled from my grasp at any time” – I can relate to this very much, it was my justifiable reason for constant drive to strive. You have described so well how when ‘doing’ is more valued than ‘being’ and used as a measure of one’s greatness, in the society, at school, at home, our sense of self-worth gets left behind.

284. “I realised that from my continual drive and pressure to be recognised for my art I was actually pushing away all I really ever wanted, and that was to be seen for who I truly was.” This is huge Kelly. All creative pursuits and those who excel in them have to continually strive to ‘be the best’. How exhausting is that! Gorgeous that you now know you have an A+ for love.

285. “The way to change that was simple, to truly love and recognise myself for whom I was” – that’s the real key isn’t it Kelly – LOVE. We are to be our own champions and realise the greatness of our unique expression.

286. There are many times in life that I know I have sought to be recognised for what I do rather than be content with me being enough just as I am. This approach has felt draining and fragmenting, it has not supported me. I can feel the difference in how I approach life through feeling that I am enough just as I am, everything I do can be worthwhile, fun, expressive but it is not me.

287. That is a great realisation Kelly. So many artists and designers are caught up in trying to prove something to others, to be seen amd not rejected thst they lose all sense of what art can offer people. Ultimately if we do something about self that is what we ask if others, whereas when we do something with love, then others get inspired by this. Just like the way Serge Benhayon lives and moves – it is what is so inspiring about him because he shows us we can also live in a truly loving way.

288. I love the point you make about how we all have an impact on others to make their choices by the way we live and express and in your case, paint. What a gift and beautiful responsibility to share with others how to shine their unique essence.

289. What I love about this blog is the transformation from seeking to being. The understanding that who we are in life is our foundation and not what we do. The emptiness of seeking recognition and approval is replaced by a gift of Love. A world built on the latter rather than the former would be…and is a very different and true ‘work of art’.

290. Thank you Kelly, understanding anxiety and stress is a subject covered in the online course, Understanding Anxiety in Men – ONLINE COURSE
     http://study.coum.org/enrol/index.php?id=14

291. ‘I no longer feel an attachment to what I make and only paint or draw when I feel to; there is no push or pressure to produce art because I am enough, and what I bring by just being me is simply amazing.’ It is so beautiful to feel the enormous difference in you Kelly, when you chose to make the commitment to your self – ‘to truly love and recognise myself for whom I was.’ You claimed the gorgeous woman that you are.

292. “I no longer feel an attachment to what I make and only paint or draw when I feel to; there is no push or pressure to produce art because I am enough, and what I bring by just being me is simply amazing.” Knowing we are enough & letting go of our external investments brings such freedom for everyone.

     1. It sure does Lucinda, the ultimate gift is given in that you are able to be yourself too, and that is true freedom.

293. Amazing Kelly, you have brought about much simplicity in just being and not trying and how when we are not caught in the trap life can flow. The more detail we allow here the more we can really enjoy each moment while appreciating what we are creating and expressing.

294. “It was an ever-growing and undoing of old habits and choices that I peeled back bit by bit when I was ready to be honest with myself and my body.” Indeed Kelly the return back to our true selves requires honesty and a top grade relationship with love.

295. Thank you Kelly. That striving to be recognised for what we do and our achievements is so prevalent in most of us. As very young children we enjoy just being who we are but soon learn that when we do something, either good or bad, we get attention and so begins the drive to be constantly seeking recognition for what we do. The teachings and presentations of Serge Benhayon shine a light on this harming seeking of recognition from others and from ourselves and the healing of learning to appreciate ourselves for the love and beauty we innately are with no ‘doing’.

296. Beautiful Kelly. The way you are with art now feels amazing and is for sure a healing for everyone who sees it as there is no need for recognition in the art but a beauty because of you knowing how beautiful you are.

297. Thank you Kelly for your blog, being good at something, anything and taking it for our self worth is such an incredible danger. How cool that your body gave you an opportunity to see that this was not supporting you and that you have found a way of living that has not only healed your RSI, but also connected you back to what you have felt inside…that your love is an A+!

298. ‘I now know that my love is an A+ and we all claim top marks in love no matter what, for simply just being ourselves.’ Oh for the days when schools know this and our children are encouraged and inspired to be who they are, not what they do!

299. This comment struck me – ‘I now know that my love is an A+ and we all claim top marks in love no matter what, for simply just being ourselves.’ Imagine if that was every human beings priority? To let out all the love they have inside, and just be themselves.

     1. Yes, that struck me too Debra. Dropping all the driving and striving for ‘top marks’ when that A+ is already a given. Awesome.

     2. Yes, this line stood out for me too as it is a lovely way of expressing that who we are far, far more important than what we do

     3. I agree Debra – it would be awesome amd wow the world would change on so many different levels.

     4. The top agenda item for every meeting, the foundation of our school curriculum, the bedrock of our government. So simple, and something that we all carry within us already with no trying. The very best form of expression 🙂

     5. So true Debra what a huge difference it would make if the only marker we had for how well we’re doing was the depth of love we have for ourselves and totally transforms the consciousness of what it means to be truly successful.

     6. If we were indeed all just simply be ourselves, we will all be walking and living Arts of Expression. No more need to go to museums. Just go for a walk and look all you meet in the eyes 🙂

        1. Very very true Caroline, there would be in fact many many things we would not need anymore as we would very much enjoy being with ourselves and others and the need to fill us with entertainment and distraction would be absent.

     7. I love this comment too. It is all there already we just have to let go of wanting to be perfect and shine in the fullness that we are and appreciate and cherish each other deeply for who we are and naturally bring.

300. Kelly, I can relate to the push and drive to be recognised. As you share, when your sense of self worth comes from the outside you never feel enough, and the perpetual striving is exhausting. This sentence sums it up – “If I stopped I felt like someone else would be waiting in the wings to take my place and that my golden ticket of belonging would be pulled from my grasp at any time.” When your sense of self worth and belonging comes from within, it brings about a whole different way to live in the world. Its then about truly accepting yourself for who you are, and in that a deep acceptance of others.

301. Kelly, today and perhaps always, there is very little art that flows from the light of stillness within a person’s body and then communicates this to all that look upon it. So it was lovely to read about your journey with yourself and your art. The world needs connected artists like yourself. Keep shining your light.

302. What quality was I really bringing to my art? Great question because we can all ask this question to whatever ‘art’ it is we are producing….. Likewise the quality we bring to our day, will be the quality we went to sleep in…..everything affects everything. I agree that by being honest with ourselves and our bodies is how we change our old habits/patterns to make different choices.
     Thank for sharing Kelly.

303. The need for recognition is an addiction. Once we have it, we want it more and more and we continue to feed off it. The only answer is to build a body of love from which we express in every moment, then the need for recognition is no more.

304. Beautiful sharing Kelly! I’m sure what you produce these days far outshines your art of the past, as it is now coming from your Soul.

305. Kelly your awareness about the drive and push for acceptance, and your willingness to make choices that truly supported you inspire me. I feel that what you have written and experienced would help many students and adults who drive themselves to excel in a particular field to gain recognition. I could feel how you now enjoy your A+ in love.

306. I have identified myself for a long time with what I do, but as you say, that is only draining our energy because we use energy to constantly be recognised by what we do. Choosing to be all that we are is much more fulfilling as it is not from outside of us, It is choosing that what we already are, so there is no need to create anything.

307. It is quite fascinating to realise how when we lose our connection to ourselves inside, we fill it with recognition from the outside, and then when that doesn’t work, we feel lost. As you say, Kelly, the change is very simple to reconnect to our own love that we had chosen to walk away from.

     1. Great point Gill the loss of connection to ourselves is the issue, nothing more complicated, but when we identify with that we have filled ourselves up with whilst disconnected in the forms of recognition it can be hard to let go of and surrender back to being connected. Such a crazy game.

     2. ​That’s right gillrandall, and the more lost we become the deeper the pain becomes, so we go deeper into numbing ourselves and maybe go harder on drugs or more dedicated into sports. It does not matter what is just as long as it fills the void we are not willing to be responsible for. And, it becomes easy to join everyone else doing the same or similar things — slotting ourselves to what ‘we think’ is the best for us to hide in the irresponsibility with everyone else.

308. Reading this blog I pondered on the fact that niceness and recognition is something which rules our world and keeps us away from being truthful and expressing as such.

     1. Yes kerstinsalzer15 our investments in niceness and recognition keeps us away from love and brotherhood.

     2. In fact, just felt to add, niceness and recognition keeps us away from true relationship as they travel hand in hand with falseness and competition

        1. Yes well said Kathleen. Recognition and niceness are partners in crime and keep us locked into our own battle which we never really win. In the long term though it also stifles all relationships in our life including the relationship we have with ourselves.

309. Thank you, Kelly for sharing your experiences with art. It seems to me that art can also be any other thing that we indulge in to satisfy our need for recognition. However, as you say ‘The way to change that was simple, to truly love and recognise myself for whom I was.’ Yes, it is that simple when we appreciate ourselves we are just enough just being ourselves, this is truly liberating.

310. Great insight into how all our striving and pushing take us only further and further away from who we truly are.

311. Beautiful sharing Kelly – we can allow ourselves to be tricked into thinking that someone has it all together and is completely comfortable with themselves and yet they can be full of nerves and uncertainty as you were. As always it’s to accept ourselves first for who we are and then express from there in whichever way we choose – a work in progress for me.

312. Kelly I paused when I read the line ‘I wanted to be seen and honoured for my art, not for the truly amazing young woman I was within’. Up until recently I wasn’t aware of the true amazingness within us all. As a yoga teacher and someone who has always been in pursuit of the inner world I rigged up a botchy interpretation of the amazingness within and kidded myself that I had the original. Now that I genuinely do have the beginnings of the true amazingness within, I can clearly see that what I had rigged up before wasn’t even a lesser version, it was a complete impostor which is way more dangerous than a watered down version of the original.

     1. Alexis that is a really good point, the imposter being in some ways worse. It is indeed far more honest to be a drug addict than someone who is on a path that looks like drug addiction but is in fact not it at all. This can be a very bitter pill to swallow, I know I have had to swallow it but its been the best thing I could ever have done as now I can feel my warmth and womanly glow from the inside.

313. Beautiful sharing Kelly – the quality we are living in is super important, as how we live is what we bring to everything that we do. Our body is most certainly the marker of this, and it is something that I have been, and am continuing to develop.

     1. Yes Nicole our quality for how we live really is a key to everything.

     2. Very true Nicole. Our bodies always reflect the quality in which we choose to live. Through which we are always offered the opportunity to deepen our connection to ourselves whenever we choose to tune in to the truth it shares with us.

     3. So true nicoleserafin. The quality of how we live is what we bring to everything we do.

     4. ​True true nicoleserafin ” the quality we are living in is super important, as how we live is what we bring to everything that we do”. You cannot hide your private life on weekends and do what you want as it all makes up how you will be at work. I just think of all the complication in companies because of people living in disregard to themselves on weekends and this is brought to work on the Mondays. You end up dealing with the disregard rather than the true quality that is needed and should be there.

314. What Serge Benhayon presents is incredibly profound and life-changing but in a very simple and practical way too. I loved reading about the changes you’ve made to your life Kelly and can’t help but think about how much that supports all those around you as well.

     1. I agree Fiona. I find it difficult to explain how simple yet profound is the wisdom that Serge Benhayon shares. That clarity of this wisdom stems from us all having the same wisdom and knowing but just not being connected to this. For me this is why what Serge presents is so easy to connect with, because it is within me too.

     2. I love the simplicity of what Serge Benhayon presents as well Fiona it’s not rocket science but boy oh boy can it take you to the stars!!

     3. I agree Fiona, I liked how Kelly expressed and shared her changes and revelations. ‘My art expression now comes through with a new light that flows from the stillness of my body in that moment. When I allow myself the space and truly feel what is there to be expressed, then painting and drawing open up a path of my life that is there to be shared with everyone.’ Stillness is the key to connect to truth, express it and share it.

315. If as human beings we know we are born awesome and that we are enough, would we then be seeking for something all our lives that we already are? For ultimately the seeking to become anything takes us away from who we already naturally are, and as you have shared so honestly Kelly, then that constant drive to live up to this role just never quite fulfills us. And yet this process is bringing a lot of harm to our bodies which ultimately we have to account for. If art is initiated in the energy of being not enough, everything that comes from it would reflect the same.
     Yet with self-care and self-love and a returning to the amazingness of which is simply our birthright, the steps you are living in your life Kelly is already a beautiful tapestry of art that is felt, with you being both the art and the artist, shiny, sparkly and simply amazing to behold.

     1. Profoundly said Adele. Life is geared toward taking us away from ourselves in every single facet and corner of society today. It feels super exhausting and super tiring to be constantly seeking something we already are, especially when you consider just how crazy that sounds!

     2. Thank you Adele. I found the simplicity of every moment brings us back to honesty too. How we feel in every moment begins a pattern of change and a return to the love that was there always.

     3. I always use the image of a baby sleeping when I describe how awesome we are to others, because no one can deny their gloriousness, and no one can argue that they would be any different to every baby they have ever seen, we all know the truth we are divine.

     4. “If art is initiated in the energy of being not enough, everything that comes from it would reflect the same.” True and wise words Adele.

     5. So true Adele. There would be no searching outside of ourselves if we remained connected to the knowing that we are complete from birth and that we are enough simply being who we are. Our doing, or expression, then comes from a fullness rather than an emptiness.

316. Woohoo Kelly, you’re a living work of art!

317. And how amazing that after introducing the gentle breath meditation into your life and being more gentle in your way, your injuries went away! A true miracle.

318. This is gorgeous Kelly! Thank you for sharing. I relate so much to the anxious way of being and how you identified yourself with being an artist, for me it was being a drummer. At school, (on the inside) I was dead afraid of anyone rising and being as good as I was because I used my talents for recognition and had a feeling of comfort after a while because I knew I was the best. But truthfully, in those years when I was like that I didn’t feel I truly expressed myself with music and this was what I was truly after. I also was a mess of nervous energy on the inside and I buried it very deep to go unnoticed and was recognised as being a happy and cheerful person. But running two shows at once took its toll and after school I was forced to stop and look at how I was running my life. Thank you Serge Benhayon and The Way of The Livingness for presenting a true way which is sustainable and is all just about being yourself.

     1. That is gold harryjwhite – running two shows at once! The cheerful outer over the tumultuous inner is quite a feat. Very exhausting, very impressive, but what a waste of energy when we could be running one show beautifully. The drummer you are today is a testament to one show, with no act. Just pure you and a whole lot of joy.

        1. ​Yes totally true Dr. Rachel, I’ve seen this young man on the drums and he rocks no doubt about it! A true show inspires and allows you to do the same, not like most rock-stars who leave you empty unknowingly to you craving more of the same emotion. There is a big lesson we need to learn about music and the energy it is commonly produced in. Its a thriving industry based on emotion of recognition and need. Emotion in the body is not healthy to hold as presented by Harry and Kelly. This is not to forget all other industries like art as well. For me it was football at school, then surfing afterwards. I was seriously chasing ‘look at me I am cool’ and it took a lot of effort to achieve nothing when looking back at it. My life is simple now living from my essence where all is known. I rock on the inside!

        2. And how beautiful Rik to have a continuity from inner to outer, so that what is inside of flows out through everything we do. What a painful thing we put ourselves through when we package who we are in a tiny box and push it down deep inside where it can never be seen. And then we learn to be what the world wants, and play it like an award winning actor.
           We make a pretty bad deal when we trade our true beauty and quality for a socially condoned act. And everybody loses.

     2. Such an important topic you both raise about the appearance of being calm & in control but really being a mass of nervous energy as you both describe it. Harry I loved what you wrote about ‘running 2 shows’ as that is so true. I wonder if people were as honest as you both have been, how many shows are actually going on around the world. I think we would be quite shocked at how many people are actually running on nervous and anxious energy. I know I did for many years and are only just learning now to run on a different fuel – one that is much more loving, steady and sustainable (and far less toxic on the body).

        1. But isn’t it the most astounding revelation Sarah when you work out that dropping the act actually alleviates the anxiousness. It blew (and continues to blow) me away that in dropping my “shield of steel” pretence I actually felt more real and more settled in my body than at any other time…except perhaps when I was a very little girl.
           If only we knew that the act was no protection against fear. Would have we adopted it so completely and so enthusiastically?

     3. I had a similar experience when I became the best and most proficient reader at a very early age, easily pronouncing even the longest and most difficult words. I would read very fast and got deeply offended when a teacher didn’t acknowledge the quality of book I was reading (it had won some kind of literary prize). Everything was revolving around what I could do and how good I was at it.

        1. Ah…I feel this so strongly Gabriele, and the fact that you were an enormously delicate and sensitive child. Imagine if you had been loved for that…and that alone?

     4. Yes Harryjwhite running two shows as you say is very tolling on the body and only really takes us further away from how amazing we already are.

        1. ​Yes, its actually scary how far away you become from who you really are. As it has been said before above so much energy is put into a construction that puts at what we want to put out. The more we sell out to attracting as much as possible, the further away we become. Success is measured by how popular you seem to be. Is it real success though? You just have to feel the body if it is full or joy or if the mind is continually been filled up to what you think success is.

     5. What I note about this harryjwhite and from what Kelly has shared is that it is not sustainable when we are putting up a front with our talents rather than being true to who we really are. Being true to ourselves and then expressing from this truth does not tax our body, no stop is required and it is completely sustainable.

        1. very true Lee, if we are performing a role and keeping up appearances so to speak we have to push down our true expression and what we feel. As we are powerful and glorious beings it takes a lot of energy to counter this and it is deeply exhausting.

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