671 thoughts on “Expression – ‘How Miss Have-a-Chat Found True Expression’”

1. I can recall my expression was that of aggression and swearing was a cool thing as most people did it, except it wasn’t so often within my family.

   As my expression continued, it became more laced with hurts etc, so it would often be blurted out or fuelled with something or another, intentionally to hurt them, as they had upset me.

   Since Serge Benhayon, it has gone to another level that is different, it comes from love and absoluteness. It is far from perfect but I know, it has moved on from the depths of despair, to this, it just shows that anything is possible.

   There are no fancy words, I like the simplicity of it all, and sometimes it requires only a word or even no expression, and that is all it takes for another to receive the message. I love expression, it is in everything, including in silence.

2. I love the new choices you are making LJ, ‘ to set aside the protection, be vulnerable, allow myself to be seen as fragile and delicate and to break down the control, the hardness and ALLOW in love.’ Beautiful.

   1. Most people express from protection and seldom do they express from the truth. So our expression are never ours anyway until we claim it as ours…

3. I was at a workshop a few weeks ago and I decided to sit front row and bang in the middle. There was music and we were singing and I was engaged and giving it my all at times. I was hardly considering the room full of other people, I was simply focused on the music, the musicians and that I was going to make the most of being at the workshop. So there was a purpose and motivation there.

   On day two, I decided to change seats and moved myself right to second row from the back. What a difference. Now I could see all the other people in the room- how they were dancing or singing to the music, how they were behaving and the comparison came in, and so did the shrinking and contraction. It felt so different. I am just reflecting now that it was the relationship that I had with the musicians that supported me to express on the first day.

   Sometimes, if I decide to speak in a big group of people or at a meeting, it will become all about me and I’ll either bottle it or say something that was not quite what I wanted to say. Perhaps remembering that I am communicating with a person, and have a relationship with that person, and everyone else in the room, will support expression.

4. When we vent it is a reaction, when we respond with love it feels completely different.

5. Too many times have I shut down my expression because of a fear of how another might react. This is still denying my own expression and not allowing myself to be an equal with the other person.

   1. Knowing we are all equal helps support us to express, ‘I have made and am still making choices to step out from the back of the room, allow myself to be seen, allow myself to speak, allow myself to be heard. ‘

6. Learning to express how we truly feel is such a blessing and a gift – and it is special to allow oneself to express in such a way knowing that this may not be accepted nor liked nor appreciated by those hearing it. The challenge lies therein – sharing how you feel no matter how the other might react.

   1. Getting ourselves out of the way, and not taking things personally really helps us to express, ‘I am slowly learning not to personalise what others say in response or reaction to me. I am learning that I am quite sensitive to people’s words and how they choose to use them, or not use them.’

7. Thank you for your sharing LJ, and I too can relate to the part of finally allowing true expression out and how challenging it can feel in the beginning. I have for many years gotten teary eyes as I share something that I feel from within, and have found this rather embarrassing! But the more I have just followed this expression, the less strongly the teary eyes happen and it is clearing faster and faster the more I learn to let out that which I truly need to express.

8. True expression – a million miles away from everyday chit chat. As long as we use chit chat to focus on the superficial we miss the opportunity to communicate more deeply, evolving self and another.

9. Curious to observe the number of fronts we assume to fit in with what ever is expected of us in life, and all the while we live a lie. Not until we strip away the false outer layers can we reveal our true essence. We are love, truth, harmony and joy and when aligned to, we don’t hold back, we express freely and with flow.

10. I find now if I even think a swear word there is a hardness and dullness in my body, words are energy and they have an effect.

11. Thanks for your honesty LJ, expression is a great topic as we are always engaging in it to some degree – even shutting ourselves down and saying nothing is an expression because everything we do is communicating something. What I am learning at the moment is the expression of my inner qualities through my movements, no words needed, just playing with how I express me through the way I move.

12. Connecting to our body and allowing our expression to flow can be a revealing experience when we listen to all we have said.

13. It’s brilliant that you distinguish between talking and expressing, we can be amazing at talking, we can talk all day but every word can be void of what we really need to be express. When we express it comes with a much greater depth and understanding of the world.

    1. Yes Meg great distinction, chatting and expressing, are most definitely not of the same quality.

    2. Meg I love how you have highlighted here the difference between talking and actually expressing. One is a distraction whilst the other has purpose.

14. Talking may well be the greatest tool we use to avoid expressing.

15. When our true expression is hindered in any way, it is an abuse.

    1. Spot on Fumiyo and so it is that we often are the ones that hold back our own expression which is a form of self abuse!

16. Learning what true expression is can be life changing, the more we express without holding back we get to not only deepen the relationship with ourselves but will everyone else too.

17. Swearing and cussing are an offensive use of our language. But on the flipside, you also swear when you take a vow or an oath etc. It’s really quite interesting how and when our words are reinterpreted, misinterpreted or have double meanings.

18. I love talking with people as well, but sometimes I don’t want to engage in surface chit chat. I’ve labelled that as being antisocial but what if thats not true? I find surface chat doesn’t really go anywhere nor develops a deeper relationship with another.

19. Swearing is becoming more and more common in our society. It now takes pride of place in board rooms and office floors. It takes away our opportunity to work together effortlessly and instead keeps us trapped in a jungle of throw away lines that really don’t mean anything.

    1. It’s true Heather, we don’t really express how we feel, such as frustrated, angry, hurt, etc, when we swear, we miss the opportunity of nominating precisely how we feel and the awareness and possible healing we can initiate around the situation.

20. We express a great deal even when no words come from our mouth.

21. Words can be used as a tool of deception. Deceiving is always about bringing another one to a point we want to concentrate. It is a movement that hides while appearing as if not were the case.

22. Learning about expression and the power of expression is a wonderful thing. It has changed my life completely from being someone who was scared to say ‘boo to a goose’ – (if that’s what you want to do) – to someone who regularly presents to groups of people, sings publicly etc. Of all the things people do to change how they feel in life, self-expression is one of the most powerful. In my view then, we must treat our expression with respect and honour the responsibility we all have to express with and from love.

23. Expression is definitely a work in progress for me, I find that I express differently to different people and so I’m working on being absolute in every moment and in every situation and not watering down who I am or changing myself in anyway.

24. Just imagine if people knew that you simply have to stay in your body, that means to simply stay connected with all of you, and then your expression would just flow. And in this flow everyone, including yourself, benefits from the wisdom that comes from the expression of this connection.

25. No matter what we do, say or express there will always be people who react or don’t like it as well as people who do. Might as well not hold back as that hurts more than what might come at us and who know we might even be surprised at what does come in a good way!

26. Such a great blog revealing that how much or how little we talk has really nothing to do with true expression. In my experience I have often seen people ‘fill the space’ with noise (talk) without any real consideration for the quality they are contributing to the world in doing so. Coming back to our true expression naturally takes care of how we feel to express in every situation…the outplay happens easily and without having to think about it.

27. We are all sensitive beings, I agree, it is important to not take things personally, ‘I am slowly learning not to personalise what others say in response or reaction to me’.

28. Through our willingness to let go of hurts we have the opportunity to express truly what is felt in our bodies regardless of the reactions from others as it is the only way forth and an offering of true evolution for all.

29. I love how powerful words can be, and how sometimes it can be just a few words to deliver a truth that can totally change your life.

30. Learning to express in full with love is a work in progress for me, I love your turn around LJ, ‘I have made choices to step out of this cycle, choosing to feel and express those feelings; to set aside the protection, be vulnerable, allow myself to be seen as fragile and delicate and to break down the control, the hardness and ALLOW in love.’ Wonderful.

31. Well done LJ for stepping out of the cycle you were brought up in. I am learning that we always do have a choice and even though it may feel hard, my experience is once we make the decision its never as hard as we imagined it would be.

32. “I am slowly learning not to personalise what others say in response or reaction to me.” This is a big one for me but it gets smaller by the day if I stay committed to expressing truth with love.

33. ‘I have made choices to step out of this cycle, choosing to feel and express those feelings; to set aside the protection, be vulnerable, allow myself to be seen as fragile and delicate and to break down the control, the hardness and ALLOW in love. I have encouraged myself to take up space, to be the amazingly wonderful, kind and loving person that I am, that others know me to be and that I have always been.’ These choices to step out of a cycle of holding back our expression, for what ever our reasons may be, are to appreciate time after time, as it is claiming our power back and freeing ourselves from what has been imposed upon us. Thank you LJ Very inspiring to read and feel the honesty in which you’ve expressed yourself.

34. I so agree – it is very possibly to hide ourselves in a chatty, friendly persona. It is very easy to go along with others in whatever they are saying without discernment. I have been observing this a lot at work as we have become more chummy over the few months and I am constantly being reminded of the importance of staying connected with myself – as a listener as well as a speaker, and the fact that I didn’t feel to use the word ‘intimacy’ just now instead of chummy kind of reveals where we are. I am never not expressing. I used to think I had a problem expressing myself, but I am beginning to think it is truer to say that it is my connection first and foremost.

35. I wonder if we took all our words in a day how much would be true expression and how much would be general chat, what if every word could truly mean something and have the potential to have a profound effect on someone else’s life. There’s an expression that “words are cheap” but what if our words could be worth gold.

36. ” I am slowly learning not to personalise what others say in response or reaction to me.” This is key for me as I learn to express more and risk upsetting people who are used to be being quieter and going along with the status quo. I was pleasantly surprised recently when I voiced something and got supportive responses from others. it is my own fear of ‘what if…’ that has stopped me speaking up. Time to make different choices.

    1. ‘What if’…. nothing that anyone says to us is ever personal, but instead something going on for them. Perhaps if we truly understood that no attack or reaction is ever personal then we could step back and actually support the other person.

37. This paragraph inspires me so much: “I have made choices to step out of this cycle, choosing to feel and express those feelings; to set aside the protection, be vulnerable, allow myself to be seen as fragile and delicate and to break down the control, the hardness and ALLOW in love. I have encouraged myself to take up space, to be the amazingly wonderful, kind and loving person that I am, that others know me to be and that I have always been.” What if all it takes to change our lives is an honest, open choice to step out of the cycle we’ve gotten ourselves into and take a tentative step forward? We don’t ever have to accept anything in our life as permanent, it’s always possible to make a change.

38. There are so many ways our expression is shut down. We shut ourselves down, shut others down, let ourselves get shut down and so forth. Yes with the king hit it is obvious but the equally if not more violent attacks are the energetic hits and force that you can’t see but come at you and of course all the little undermining words etc.

    1. The more we express love and truth the more forceful the attacks come. They are always configured in a way to get at each of us personally so how it looks for me might be different to you but the result is the same. The force is saying be less, don’t be all that you are, don’t speak the truth because it exposes me and exposes the hurts I don’t want to look at. We have seen this throughout history with the burning, stoning, crucifixion and genocide of those that lived another way.

39. If I may add, we must also, as you’ve also responsibly done yourself LJ, look at how our own expression has harmed/may carry the intent to harm or curb another.
    A key in this I’ve found, is to hold an awareness of the tone and quality of our own voice – if we are honest, we cannot but feel when what we are saying carries some ‘charge’ with it. And then if we are really honest… we will admit that we are in some kind of reaction and thus it is the reaction that needs to be addressed, before we can speak clearly on the matter at hand, in truth.

40. Phew LJ… Your openness and honesty in expression blows me away.
    And you’ve nailed something deeply significant here for us all – we may not all be under ‘physical threat’ when we express what we feel (and/or know) to be truth, yet need there be the potential of physical threat to intimidate us? The reactions from others – in whatever form, such as verbal abuse/cutting down, dismissal, ridicule – can come in many forms and carry deliberately harmful intent. It is important that we see the ‘play’ of all of this, and how things can come towards us configured in a way that will trigger our yet unhealed hurts and perhaps age-old fears of standing in the truth that we know, regardless of consequence…
    To acknowledge how much of ALL of this that we feel is deeply empowering, that we may take the steps needed in reclaiming a true and full expression of all that we are in life – definitely a “work in progress” for pretty near all of us.

41. Thank you LJ for such a beautifully honest sharing, allowing ourselves to be fully transparent and express with others can feel like a difficult mountain to climb at times, the steps you have taken to turn this around is very supportive and inspiring for others who also hold back their expression for each one of us has an unique expression that is very much needed to make up the whole.

42. This is a great example of how 2-Dimensional we see expression to be. Sure, someone can be a great talker and we deem them strong in expression – but what are they expressing and why are they expressing in that way? Often the most talkative people are the most insecure or incapable of expressing in the vulnerability of who they are. Expression is so deep and multi-layered where by each movement, thought, breath is an opportunity to express who we are or who we are not.

43. ‘ I am slowly learning not to personalise what others say in response or reaction to me.’ This is key as when we express what is there to be said then we are just the vessel that is bringing forth what is needed.

44. Just talking and truly expressing are very different and I too have been challenged by starting to express what I truly feel as I have spent so many years putting on a good face and trying to hide what I feel even from myself. For me cutting through the habit of being ‘nice’ has been a work in progress to acknowledge and not hide behind niceness so that people don’t reject me.

45. Today I was at a presentation. I normally like to hang out at the back and hide, but the presenter asked us to change seats, so I took myself to the front for a change. Its amazing how we can hold onto these patterns for years, but very liberating when we take steps to change what is clearly not working.

    1. Absolutely, it feels amazing to break out of a behaviour that has capped who we are for many many years, and it can be as easy as changing chairs.

46. Our expression is such a massive subject to investigate, I can really relate to how you say you spent years shut down and not expressing and the big leap you had to take to begin expressing again. Expressing is such a vital part of life, and I suspect it will always be a work in progress. For example I realised a few weeks ago how lazy I am in my expression, missing out words and not fully describing something when I give instructions so that the other person is left unsure. Realising how much my expression impacts others has been a big inspiration to me to keep developing and working on it.

47. ‘Leave me alone’ as a wish is something that can be expressed in various ways. Some are plain evident but others are not. The art of do it through words that appear to be very friendly and give a cosy feeling of being close to another one is one of the non-obvious ways. What this way reveals, is how much we control conversations in order to avoid going where we have zero interest it may go. It is like the art of trying to fill space with words that please and appease another one and, in exchange, the other one just plays ball with us. The ‘naturality’ with which we do it is not real since it hides a profound anxiousness. And this, in turn, is governed by both a belief (no one is interested in truth) and a hurt (no one is really interested in me).

48. Through true expression we are offered evolution, not only for ourselves but also for whoever our expression is shared with. And so I am learning more and more that when we invest in concerning ourselves with how other will respond, we are choosing to hold back or measure our expression, the impulse from our Soul, our truth and love, as such we are delaying evolution all-round. The more we develop our connection with our truth within, through the movements of our daily living, when we come to express it then is nothing more than simply another movement effortlessly made through our connection to our truth and love within.

49. It is deeply empowering to know that at any point we can choose to step out of any self created cycle and express and move in a way that will seed forth the life we know is possible to live.

50. Thank you for your honest sharing LJ. The way we express has a huge impact on us and the people around us, but its not only what we say that communicates, its all our movements. I find the more accepting I am of me, faults and all, the easier it is to express my truth without feeling the need to calibrate.

51. We are all work in progress LJ and we are all equally guided by both our own and others imperfections and unloving patterns with the opportunity to learn in every single moment of the day.

52. As we learn not to take things personally, we react far less as we observe what is being said rather than absorbing it, it gives us space to allow another to say what they want, but not come back with a quick witted or immediate response. We can choose to listen without responding at all.

53. I love how you have written ‘I am frightened at times to say what I think, because what will you think of me and what will be your response?’ We so often get caught by not expressing truth because we have become more worried about another’s reaction. The more consistent we become with our own everyday living making choices from love, the easier it becomes to express truth, from love, and the reactions from others become less, but the words are still heard.

54. Tailoring and restricting our expression, saying and doing what we feel, is seriously exhausting and causes so much distress and chaos within ourselves and with each other. Thank God for Serge Benhayon who shows how simple and joyful life and relationships can be when we express how we feel and that it is even possible! Because in that fear we get sold that notion (And it uses past experiences to confirm and threaten that it will happen again, that we cannot make different choices that lead to different results) that we open ourselves up to an attack that is greater than the expression when from experience expressing how I feel has in the long run always been healing and growing of my life rather than staying small and protected.

55. I love this LJ and it is such an important story to share. “I am slowly learning not to personalise what others say in response or reaction to me”, this, I find, is the biggest expression killer – to give more power to how someone will respond than to ensuring we are aware of why we are in that space, hearing or seeing what we are hearing or seeing and getting a sense of if it is for us to speak up. I remember a saying – “If not me then who? if not now then when?” I use that often. Ultimately though, it is how I have lived up to that point that guides me to speak or not and my body has been my greatest marker, after all – my ‘picture’ of what I think will happen – may not happen at all.

56. “I am a work in progress…” – what an awesome thing to admit to and remind yourself. And it’s great to look back at where you’ve been and who you were and to appreciate where you are today. We are often pretty rough on ourselves, but what you share here is real, raw and pretty darned cool.

    1. Very true Nick. Appreciation is a powerful and essential element to unfolding to a greater depth and magnificence of who we truly are, and the ‘more’ we can greatly live.

    2. So true – it’s way to easy to be critical or tough on ourselves, it’s a much better approach to remember that we are always learning and always a work in progress – and a magnificent one at that.

57. Great blog Miss have-a chat. Developing our expression is practicing to express what we feel rather than what we think.

58. A very beautiful and honest sharing LJ, and what amazing changes you’ve made – this is very inspiring. I love how willing you are to see your part and how that has given you a greater understanding in your dealings with others and my favourite, not to personalise things, this is something I’m learning more of each day and the more I can just see and let people be, the more freely I can express. Thank you for a gorgeous blog.

59. Wonderful, brilliant – excellent expression, incredible to feel your power and see that this ‘acces to talk easily, does not mean true expression’ First lie catched! And how beautiful that you allow yourself to express again and dare yourself to do so, that is an amazing gift. To no longer be at the mercy of violence and attack – but to be you and be with everything you feel, even if it makes you shaky at times. Incredible effort put in this – keep up the good work!

60. As an outspoken person, I can say that I have learned that even though I could also say quite a lot, it may not capture the full picture that I wanted to communicate. I might speed over something, trying to get it out as quickly as possible, almost frightened that the person would lose interest. I’m slowly learning to let myself fully speak, knowing that what I have to say and share is worthy, as am I.

61. The quality of our expression is what is truly felt and heard, not the quantity of words we may use.

62. this is of course an extreme case of violence in reaction to expression and the consequent shutting down, but what we see all throughout our societies is people without having experienced this obvious trauma, experiencing the same fear and trepidation and contraction around expression. Just addressing this really does take a commitment and understanding about how important expression is in our lives, and the thing is… Once started, it is such a lovely feeling that it develops a life of its own, and the healing of our expression can start to take place.

63. “Our expression is everything” We can often get caught up in the verbal expression and identify with words, conversations and actions but how often do we consider that it extends to how we dress, live in our homes, iron clothes or clean the bathroom. There is more here that can be seen and felt by others that shows us all the levels of responsibility go way beyond a chit chat.

64. It’s something I’m also working through, learning to not take things that people say personally. I was aware during reading your blog just how sensitive we all are to words, and how different words feel when said with love, as opposed to when they are said with agenda, reaction or emotion. Thanks for highlighting these things today, and for sharing your story so openly.

65. Wow thank you LJ for sharing your experiences, there is a clear distinction between true expression and chit chat. I know when I go into chit chat it can feel horrible in my body, when we have something to say that is true and meaningful it resonates with the heart and everyone benefits. True expression blows out of the water any kind of chit chat.

66. “I am slowly learning not to personalise what others say in response or reaction to me.”

    We often think that when someone has a go at us, that it is about us, through expanding my awareness I realise that it is actually quite rare for it to be personal to us. They are usually struggling personally, with a point in their own lives. The reaction to you is that point that they have not chosen but you have chosen, brings up a hurt, due to hurt being hard to feel, the hurt usually gets thrown back at you.

67. Thank you LJ. I can relate to the brain fuzz, fear etc. What you’ve shared is very inspiring as I’m in the process of breaking the pattern of not expressing so it’s no coincidence that I’ve come across your blog and understand that a huge part of breaking this cycle is my appreciation and acceptance of me and letting go of what others think.

68. ‘I have encouraged myself to take up space…’ Allowing yourself to be seen. Amazing how we can fool ourselves into thinking we’re being humble by diminishing ourselves and our presence by refusing to take up that space and express all of who we are.

69. When I was young I remember being told ” If you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all” I have a feeling it was a line in Bambi, the Disney movie. Much later I had a boyfriend who would chide me with “Be nice” Now I would like to replace those words with True and Love – this is what really makes the difference. “Be True, Be Love”

70. It’s amazing how many conversations we can have with others in a day that are literally lip service and only scratch the surface of what there is truly to be both communicated and expressed.

    1. I agree Suse, there are so many opportunities missed when we hold back our expression, and when we do express it’s a win/win situation.

71. As LJ has discovered… It is actually possible to break through seemingly insurmountable obstacles to opening our expression… And yes it is a part of return, it does take consistency and practice, but the rewards are truly extraordinary… Beyond what we would think,

72. As you say we all are a work in progress for there is no perfection, only learning.

73. Expression is the answer to break the rigidity I used to live in because of fears related to past experiences. In those moments, when I express what I truly feel, I free myself from those illusionary chains that were contracting me. This is a work in progress in which the more I express the more relaxed and expanded I am. Feeling my body during this process is key to detect the contraction and instantly honour what I need communicate no matter the memories that emerge in that moment.

74. Building our expression is a step by step progress. The biggest hindrances are the pressures we place upon ourselves.

75. “I am a work in progress, and inspired every day by an amazing man, Serge Benhayon that I met about eight years ago, who keeps saying… “Expression is everything”.
    We all are a work in progress, forever inspired by Serge Benhayon; I could not agree with you more LJ

76. I can relate to the hard and harshness within a family. My family don’t swear but screamed. No real communication in among the noise of words. It is wonderful to have Serge Benhayon and his family as a reflection what true expression in a family looks and sounds like.

77. This is a great example of how one experience can cause a shut-down in our expression that then carries through life in protection of our sensitivity. These days I firmly believe that expression is better out than in. Better expressed than keeping it in the body, where it will only eventually show itself through some form of illness and disease if left undealt with.

78. “I am a work in progress, and inspired every day by an amazing man, Serge Benhayon that I met about eight years ago, who keeps saying… “Expression is everything”.
    I to am a work in progress and am deeply inspired by Serge Benhayon; gradually I am deepening my understanding of Expression is Everything, thank you LJ.

79. The more we express our truth the easier and more enjoyable it gets.

80. Interesting Brendan. It really makes such a difference to consider the quality of our expressions, meaning everything we say and do, and dare I say think as well, rather than the content of them. Sometimes the content and quality are quite incongruous and to ascertain the true intention and meaning of our expressions we need to evaluate the quality first.

81. “… that I am trying to start a fight…” I know this one very well LJ and initially it does make me feel uncomfortable but as I pause and weigh it up, there is no doubt within me who’s telling the truth. I let go of the frustration as I know they know and trust.

82. Alcohol was not my thing. I did drink a little when I went out with friends basically to fit in more than anything but it wasn’t long before I could see the effects the alcohol had on people. I can remember expressing to another that they didn’t care about me, about anything and at the time I found it hurting and quite disturbing… I took it very personal. It was so confirming for me when Serge Benhayon talked about alcohol and how after one drink it altered them and was certainly not who they were. This understanding has helped and is helping me enormously to accept and not to react when another chooses to drink alcohol.

83. The more I express in my life, the more I am seeing those around me express in their lives. It is truly amazing and very beautiful to observe another express in situations which they would have previously found challenging.

84. I have come from a place of holding back and saying nothing in situations where I would feel uncomfortable to expressing but coming from a reaction. Both forms of expression are in reaction. It is my responsibility to deal with the hurt that caused the reaction and then my quality of expression changes.

85. Thank you for writing this heartfelt blog LJ. Working through our fears brings up much hurt but as you have shown gradually we can reach a place of allowing our true expression through our willingness to be vulnerable, this is our strength.

86. Thank you LJ, I really loved how clear and honest your expression was, It has been explained to me that when I swear, that it is because of frustration, and the need then is to feel further into it at what our expectation or control might be, feeling into what the root cause may be is not always easy, but it certainly is a blessing.

87. I Love how you bring an understanding to the phenomena that I have seen happening. When people are simply living “a fun party ” life they appear they are very open and expressive yet when we start to discover who we are within and what it is we truly feel we can clam up. This is because it is easy and acceptable to be the good time girl and express in this way yet when we start to honestly question and look within this is frowned upon, hence we hold back, yet we should do the opposite so it becomes normal to express oneself honestly rather than be a crowd pleaser.

88. When we resort to swearing we miss out the opportunity to express what we are truly feeling. I know if I swear in a reaction if feels really unpleasant in my body, learning to truly express in each moment I can feel my body expand and become lighter.

89. Thank you LJ… A psychologist told me recently that one in three women in Australia have been abused… It’s this and many other facts like this that are the dark underbelly of society but no one wants to know about… And yet all these things are wreaking havoc upon us all and it is unsustainable. Universal Medicine continually offers a lifeline of clarity, reconnection, love and true healing that is precisely what humanity needs at the moment

90. I find it fascinating how one swear word can be used in soo many contexts. When I find myself swearing I know explore what I am wanting that word to mean and have found this has unlocked a lot of expression.

    1. Having grown up in New York and New Jersey, swearing was just a part of my everyday language from the time I was a teenager. I hardly swear now, for the reason you give, Abby. It has meant that I actually am expressing fully what I used to say with a single four letter word, and it feels so much more honest.
       Now when I swear I can feel how hard those words are and I can even shock myself when I hear them coming out of my mouth, because I know that they are covering up so much with their forcefulness and hardness.

       1. I love what you have shared here Naren, is is how I raised my children and they are actually grateful for it. I realised in myself that when I swear I am not connecting deeply enough to what is felt – it is a wasted opportunity.

       2. It is a great way to put it nicolesjardin. If every moment is a moment in which we can express ourselves, why curtail our language and use it to hide what we are actually feeling?

       3. Definitely – A big one for me was to take the pressure off to get it right and to practice living, accepting that there are lessons to be learnt.

91. I often wonder what it is that I am afraid in not truly expressing who I am, does it really matter what people think or if you ruffle a few feathers. I think not and the more we express the easier it gets or so I’m told.

    1. You are right, kevmchardy. We do tend to give others’ comments or opinions far more weight than they are actually worth. Remove those opinions from the equation of the choices we make in life and there is a massive block to freeing our expression is gone. Of course, it is up to us to remove them, and not anyone else.

92. We are all a work in progress; the forever student. Such a lovely blog to read J.L
    I find swearing, and inappropriate language, an assault on my body.
    Yes everything is expression however it is the quality of the expression that is important.

93. Thank you Katie, to me learning to duck when the occasion arises is a great way to express and it also saves face!

94. ‘Expression is everything,’ as presented by Serge Benhayon. My life was expressionless in the true meaning of expression. Love for me is now what expression is all about, every thing else is not true expression. What I used to do was talk at people and shut them down by not listening. Listening is now an integral part of my expression. If we do not listen, then what are we telling the other person? We are telling them we are judging them and not wanting to understand what they have to say. I used to do this!
    Also, my life was all about not expressing in truth but very much about shouting the other person down. I would also ask a question to control the conversation, driving the conversation so as to push what ever I thought as part of the ideal I was in at that point of time. So what I am sharing is that before Universal Medicine the energy I was using to talk to people was one of judgment; I was judging everyone else to be lesser than me and what I had experienced in life, by putting myself in a place where I knew what was best for them / you!
    So ‘expression is everything’ as stated before, and ‘everything’ means what we live in our life as a Livingness. Our Livingness as an expression to me is now a love for myself first and foremost, for without self-love I could not have a true understanding of what love felt like in my own body as a lived wisdom – a Livingness. “True expression” is all about love and then expressing that love in all we do, ‘ expression “is” everything’!!
    Thank you L.j., for sharing your amazing story, this has allowed me to commit to my self a deeper level of true expression.

    1. Wow! What a difference a day makes. After writing the comment above yesterday I found myself being more absolute in my “expression to everything”! ‘Expression is Everything’ as presented by Serge Benhayon and I found myself deepening as I brought a great focus to all I did, I found it was my “expression in everything” that was more loving. This culminated in me looking at a butcherbird at the end of the day as I was taking out the rubbish and seeing that as an “expression towards everything”. I had still held judgment towards black birds including the butcherbird that I frequently saw around the house. As soon as I saw this bird last evening I felt as an “expression from everything”, that I am a true ‘Son of God’ and “Love” was the first and foremost “expression towards everything”! “Expression definitely is everything”!!

95. This has been my experience Brendan, I was very quiet growing up and so did not practice expression much, as I have got older i have started to express more yet sometimes i can still feel tongue tied, the words don’t flow, yet practicing and just being willing to try to convey what I feel has made an enormous difference. The willingness to express is all this is needed to start to make my expression change for the better. And it is better as bottling up what we are feeling in our bodies is not a healthy way to live.

96. I was just realising that I haven’t heard a swear word in quite some time. I was never really someone who swore but I did occasionally and I do remember hearing a lot of swear words being used in certain periods of my life. Swearing has not been in my vocabulary for many years and this confirms that we certainly do attract the energy we put out.

    1. Very true I had not connected these dots Vicky…

97. Thank you L.J. for expressing so honestly and openly your story about finding true expression. My own expression or lack of, has always been controlled, I have kept quiet for fear of saying the wrong thing. I am now learning to come out of hiding and open up to express and when connected to my innermost, speak my truth, speak what is there to be said, without fear or favour.

98. I agree Brendan, for so long we have held back that we actually have to practice expressing again, which includes connecting to how we feel and trusting ourselves to share.

99. There is no “niceness” when truth is being presented, and this can be very exposing and confronting to how we communicate presently. Truth can sometimes be judged as “cold, hard and unloving.” It can also generate a lot of reaction, in all gradations. It can generate distance from others, rejection, unacceptance. The only way to tell if this is a reaction from others (which for me is healing for them) because of the expression of truth, or because it was not truth, is to keep building the steady connection with ourselves, because all of these scenarios can easily have us revert back to the momentum of not expressing, which although we know has not worked before, still feels familiar. Our expression can always be refined for as long as we live, but the choice to express again from truth is one which the heavens celebrate, and man will too, eventually.

100. LJ this blog is so honest and real that it touched my heart. It has offered me and everyone who has the blessing to read it, the opportunity to develop a deeper understanding of why true expression is so challenging for some people. What I really loved about your experience is your willingness to express despite your past hurts and especially your willingness to share this with all of us. Thank you!

     1. I agree Sharon, a sheer delight to read this powerful piece of expression. It is always so inspiring when another says it for what it is and nothing less. Thank you LJ for sharing.

101. Thank you Maree, this is a very inspiring blog and I can relate to having a lack of true expression most of my life, but as I learn and accept expression is everything I am learning to live expressing more.

102. Thank you LJ for your willingness to open up and be honest with us all – very powerful and inspiring. Lately I have been expressing more in my life and I find there are some people who try to shut me down as they don’t like to hear the truth, I can easily go into self doubt when this happens but I am learning not to take on their reactions and to not let this stop me expressing.

     1. I can relate to what Anna is saying here. I can feel too when another is trying to put me down but I am learning to read the situation and not play ball anymore. The fact that I have expressed is enough and then I work on detaching myself from the situation and let it go.

103. I remember as a teenager not being able to express and share the hurts from relationships with others as my ideals and beliefs were capping me to do so in a sense that I always thought that as a man I could not get hurt, or we had to be tough and stay strong. It was like the process of becoming an adult.

104. I have to admit I am still, even after quite sometime, finding my feet with my expression and still getting my head around the enormity that absolutely everything is expression, every little movement or gesture has purpose. I used to be convinced that my expression was at its peak after about four or five pints of beer. How wrong could I have been?

     1. “…every little movement or gesture has purpose.” Love how you said that kevmchardy. And great point about thinking that we’re being more expressive of ourselves after drinking – like being more extrovert is a sign that we’re being truer to who we are when that is most certainly not always the case!

     2. I feel a lot of people see themselves the same when it come to how they express and alcohol, yet as you say nothing could be further from the truth.

105. Great blog LJ. Today when I re-read it these words jumped out at me “I am slowly learning not to personalise what others say in response or reaction to me”. In the past my life and my expression was grossly retarded by taking things personally too, and also like you I have been inspired to express myself honestly and openly, to honour my feelings and observations and to love myself enough to not take everything so personally and it has been enormously liberating.

     1. Yes jeanettegold, this line stood out for me too. I used to take every thing personally. I was so sensitive to another’s words and gestures that I would end up worrying over the littlest of things. I am learning that when another says something in reaction and it feels hurting, not to take it personal as I am simply there as a reflection for another to look within themselves. Reminding myself of the bigger picture and what is at play is helping me enormously to not take things so serious and personally.

106. “Is there reason to fear expression?” No, but a million reasons why you should fear holding your expression.

107. This is a really honest account of how you grew up and lived and how you are now, LJ, I love the way you show us that expressing honestly is not about getting it right and making a good show of expressing yourself in public, but about feeling how you are in every moment and expressing from that place, regardless of how you would like to be. Your description of how you are now, — feeling your vulnerability when speaking up in front of people, reveals the delicacy an fragility you allow yourself to be. This is a lesson for most of us, whether we have experienced your kind of early trauma or not, as our society seems to be addicted to appearing confident and strong, and making that the measure of a successful person, and to “making a show of it”, and scared to listen to or accept the power of expressing our true feelings. But false confidence is a huge cover up, (as you demonstrated) and serves us not at all. Recently, from attending Serge Benhayon’s Workshop on Presentation and Expression, I discovered that when I allow myself to feel vulnerable and let go of all my own agendas, and do not prepare what I am going to say, but just stay connected to how I m truly feeling, then what comes out of my mouth is naturally confident and often a surprise to me!

108. Thank you LJ for this is honest and inspiring blog. I feel I cap my expression in order to avoid others feeling uncomfortable and this is ridiculous, as the angst and the way my body feels afterward is horrible and realise now that holding back is self-abuse and self-destructive.

     1. The only reason why we withhold our expression is because we do not honour ourselves first and foremost. So, we go as the wind playing underground plays to avoid going where you do not really want to go. The particles of your body go with you, but they are not too joyful about the whole matter.

        1. I love this line Eduardo “The only reason why we withhold our expression is because we do not honour ourselves first and foremost.” It is absolutely true and it reminds me of the situations in my life where I hold back for fear of upsetting another when essentially I am hurting and abusing myself and this is not supporting myself or anyone. Honouring myself first and foremost is the most loving thing I can do as it heals and it is not just for myself but for the all.

     2. It does feel horrible in the body when we hold back. I was in the company of others the other day and when I got home I reflected on how I held back from expressing which was in disagreement with what was being said. The more I become aware of my behaviours and the reason behind them letting go of my hurts, the more I stand in my truth.

109. This is an inspiration for me as i continue to explore my expression and to not hold back on what is there to be expressed.

110. I have never felt comfortable with small talk. And it’s interesting how it is called small talk, because when you’re doing it, it does feel like it’s making you smaller. Every conversation you have doesn’t have to be seriously deep and meaningful or revelatory, because that would also be exhausting. It’s not really what you talk about, because even the lightest of subjects can be profound if talked about with honesty and presence. It’s something to be working with all the time, to drop the guard and let people in so that we express from everything we are.

     1. I too have never felt comfortable with small talk and when I find myself in situations where there is small talk I see it as an opportunity to bring my focus and attention to me and my body more deeply while at the same time learning to respect another. There is so much going on and to learn in all our conversations we have, as expression is not just about speaking and what is being said.

111. This is very true, and some find some forms easier than another. I find expressing in writing quite okay yet when speaking I am often nervous, but like you say, I am simply out of practise as I have felt safe writing but not speaking.

112. This is a great blog, thanks for writing and expressing all that you have. What got me was the swearing. It made me realise how much I used to swear instead of express, and now I can really feel how that was really such a lack of expression, a way of not wanting to really go there, to not feel or deal with whatever was happening at the time, but a way to let off steam, anger and frustration and at the same time hurt those around me with my words and of course as a form of protection.

     1. Your comment Rosie nailed it for me as I can relate to it as well – “how much I used to swear instead of express . . . ” and swearing is: ” a way to let off steam, anger and frustration and at the same time hurt those around me with my words and of course as a form of protection.” That is how I can feel swearing as well and it is so good to see it written down and so clearly expressed – thank you Rosie.

113. And amazing to hear how you have accepted your past choices and their outcomes. That is true responsibility.

114. Its beautiful LJ what you have shared and how you are rising above the fear of expression and past trauma to let yourself be seen and heard.

115. “People who know me would say ‘Are you crazy, you don’t have a problem with expression…’ “, I can relate to this, during my school and college days I was talkative, open to listening, giving advice, yet I never shared how I felt inside and no one ever asked, as I was always a bubbly person, yet inside I was holding back so much within. I felt my sharing of how I feel was not important, I can manage. I just accepted life like that. But little did I realise as I grew up that not sharing my feelings would cause problems in my health, and my relationship to life. Thanks to Serge Benhayon and from his presentations I have been able to understand the impact and I am in the process of healing and now changed my way of being to support myself in life.

116. The rawness and abuse of past situations powerfully shared and then set up in flames as you have come through the other side, emerging so powerfully and sweetly into the re-discovery of your true expression. This is a really powerful article. Thank you for your honesty and willingness to share.

117. I can really relate to your saying how you’ve’ encouraged yourself to take up space.’ I remember reacting if someone bumped into me. But what they were reflecting was I was not claiming me or my space in the universe, I acted like other people were more important than me and didn’t like being shown what happens when I choose this- I get bumped about. Sometimes I have to remind myself what I have to express is equally valid and, if it feels true, express it, regardless of outcome.

     1. I love what you share here Karin as it shows how every choice we make is reflected to all and then reflected back to us. When we admit to that and start to read the reflections back to us we can learn a lot from it.

     2. Contracting and not taking up space whether it is physical sense or in expression has always been for me, related to a lack of self worth and not wanting to be seen or noticed in case I draw attention to myself and get hurt.

118. When I water down and don’t express all that is there to be expressed in a situation, not only does feel horrible and destructive to my body, it also ‘short changes’, or leaves the other person with a lesser leaning or experience. So by me not wanting to upset someone or feel their reaction I have agreed to an unspoken contract between us, that says, ‘I will water down and not express all of me and you can do the same, and we will call this friendship or love’.

     1. This is so true Thomas, we often choose friendships or relationships where we don’t challenge each other by holding back our truth and we call these “good”, when in fact we are capping ourselves from evolving together.

119. It’s interesting that myself and others I have spoken to, have a past experience they feel hurt by around expressing themselves, from there we choose to shut down and not express the love we feel or to say what we feel out of fear of being hurt again (this makes sense and has a kind of logic to it?). But by stopping the flow of expression in our bodies and holding back what we say, how we dance, walk and express ourselves, feels like is becomes stagnant energy in our bodies as it was meant to be there to be expressed, this unexpressed energy then can turn to feeling unwell and if it continues it can turn into a more serious health condition, which has been my personal experience. When I examine this for myself, surely it makes much better logic and sense to feel and heal my past hurts, have a short period of discomfort in that, and then express the truth of what I see and feel and the tender loving man I am?

120. Thank you LJ for your courage and honesty to share your experience about expression, I carry a lot of hurts from the past around expression and speaking up, even how I move and express through my body. When I was six years old a lot of painful things happened in my family, I closed down my heart and tried to protect myself, rounding my shoulders and back, as I didn’t feel safe to express the love I felt inside. I felt I couldn’t be the tender open little boy I was, nor say what I saw and felt about the adults around me, as I would get in trouble, and was often in trouble at school for saying what I felt. As an adult now I am leaning to express more, and this is very enriching to my life and well-being.

121. What needs to be said is a great marker for me – I too have been the quiet unassuming one at the back of the room who when given a drink was the life and soul. Exhausting this yoyo routine but consistent for many years. The thing is I can feel that I am treading water and not able to say too much even if there is something to say – all conditions must be perfect. Even at Universal Medicine events I have not spoken up because I do not want to be heard by a large group unless it is not right, or heaven forbid not true. This is control of my expression in a very negative way – I have a lot to bring and with you LJ I commit to allowing myself the steadiness and start to express what is needed. The world, humanity needs all of us.

     1. Thank you for your honesty here Lee.
        I can very much relate to what Lee has written. The very thing of getting something wrong in front of a group of people has terrified me so much speaking up was not an option but there is so much going on here. First, I do not know really how anyone is going to react beforehand if I did speak up, second there is no such thing as getting it wrong and third I am learning, I’m going to slip up, that’s all part of the learning so accepting and appreciating myself in every moment (which I am working on big time) are key.

     2. I am also being reminded that every time I hold back my expression I am coming from ‘self’ instead of getting myself out of the way and expressing what is there to be expressed for the all.

122. LJ, you show us great examples of the differences of chatting or swearing to true expression. I can speak to anyone but have often felt scared to speak truth in the past and am learning to open up as you describe. When I do this, I know from inside me that it feels very different – I feel I am expressing from my whole body.

123. Great point Brendan, it is like a muscle we have not used, but overtime and with consistent practice it gets easier and easier and before we know it expression is as natural as breathing.

124. LJ thank you for your heartfelt and honest sharing. In some way or another so many of us can relate to what you have shared. It is true “Expression is Everything” and it is no surprise that there is so much abuse to prevent it. Shutting down expression is our best way of staying comfortable, when someone doesn’t want to hear something it is easy to abuse to make sure it is never said.

125. As someone who rarely opened my mouth to speak to people I didn’t know for most of my life it has been a big step to be able to ‘chat’ to anyone. Now I absolutely love my chats with the person on the checkout or the guy who sells me my travel ticket, the cleaner in the street, or the person at the bus stop. For me, chatting has been a welcome way of opening up and letting people in. I find that whatever the conversation or whatever the topic, the fact that we are communicating and sharing a moment is very precious in itself. This is shared humanity.

     1. ‘The fact that we are communicating and sharing a moment is very precious in itself’ – oh yes – and it makes me consider what the world would look like if this natural way became our norm – that every person we encountered meant a moment of connection, eye contact, a greeting, word or chat. Harder then to feel separate from one another it would be.

126. Really enjoyed reading your journey with expression LJ. I have and still do at times give myself a hard time when I slip into ‘reaction’ but this is such a stop moment for me to just keep feeling that vulnerability and to not hold back or go into hiding (comfort). In the past I would get lost for words and frustration would set in. The conversation would just be about saying words and filling a quiet lull in conversation the content would then be watered down – and ‘a need’ to fill that silent gap. Instead of enjoying the moment and to trust what needs to be expressed is all that is required.

127. I love learning more all the time from Serge Benhayon about expression, and how so much of what we say can dishonour us when it is not the truth of what our expression can be. For example I am now so much more aware of swearing, and how dishonouring it actually is. It is dishonouring for those listening to it, but also for the person speaking as it is not the truth of what they wish to express. This is but one example of commonly used expression, that can be changed to allow true evolution – which happens when we speak the truth, which is truth for all. I love that I get to learn more about this all the time from Serge, and all those around me expressing.

128. It is easy to think that people who ‘say a lot’ are very comfortable expressing, but words and conversations can be spoken from an anxiousness. They can be used as a distraction – a way to avoid feeling the anxiousness and at times lack of confidence and presence that is actually there.

     1. So true Vicky, I use to think this as a young girl growing up, that i was not blessed with ‘the gift of the gab’,and that those that were were naturally confident. I now know that this is not necessarily a true measure at all of confidence or connection with oneself, and can often be quite the opposite. The quality in words spoken is what truly connects us, not the volume.

     2. I agree Vicky, ‘saying a lot’ can be the perfect cover for myriad emotions and issues. True expression comes from connection with who we truly are and the Universal Mind.

     3. Being extremely shy and quiet I used to admire another who wasn’t afraid to speak up in any situation but over time I questioned the energy and realised that most of the time the words were spoken in an anxiousness that was covering up what they were actually feeling. It is interesting how I got easily led to thinking they were confident people. I now know that true confidence comes from within and the connection we have with ourselves and for me it is all about developing this.

129. I know I can use this as an excuse to stop trying sometimes. It feels like I’ll never be able to express everything in full, all of the time, as there are still insecurities and fears that rear their ugly heads at times. However, knowing how truly liberating and supportive for all it feels to express in full will eventually win and inspire me to have another go.

130. So many conversations are often about criticising what is wrong with the world and the people and systems in it. In itself there is nothing wrong with this as it is imperative to expose what we have made this world and our societies to be. But in my experience it has stopped there. I have found these conversations to be denigrating, critical, negative discussions that in hindsight were to make us feel better about ourselves due to the choices we were making. But true expression here would be to expose not only the ‘what’ but the ‘why’, taking responsibility for our own part in it all and mostly what we ourselves can do to change what we feel is not true and loving in this world.

131. LJ you are amazing, and you have shown that even if others react, our expression can never be shut down unless we shut it down. Only since meeting Serge Benhayon have I really understood that we are expressing all of the time, every part of us. I’m practicing more and more on expressing what is needed. The feeling of when I don’t is so awful, and is usually when I’m worried about others reacting.

132. When we hear truth spoken we know it deep inside as it resonates with our very being and any thing else heard and spoken does not sit easy and is not “nice” to feel, but this is the way the world has been .But now with Serge Benhayon and his inspiration we are coming back to what we know and this is deeply honouring . What an amazing blog thank you LJ.

133. Thank you for sharing your experience with expression. I found it very touching and could feel the huge impact not expressing or altering the way we express can have in shaping our lives. I could relate to being a great listener but rarely sharing how I feel. I am finding that keeping my feelings to myself was one of my false ideas about keeping safe. It doesn’t work and it stops me from feeling and expressing all the love I feel for myself and others.

134. Thank you for exposing that what we see and perceive as expression is not always true – we can actually hide our power amongst others by listening, commenting, giving advice and agreeing, rather than sharing what we are actually feeling what is going on.

135. Yes, it’s like dusting off the cobwebs. A wonderful reminder that everyone can express and everyone’s expression from within is uniquely amazing.

136. Thank you so much LJ for sharing your unfolding experiences in expression. I love the honesty and the understanding offered in your story.

137. Thank you LJ, this is a very inspiring story of how we can change our lives by letting go of the resistance to express from our bodies and not our heads where we tend to taint the way we express and communicate to others from hurt and protection. Expressing from our bodies allows us to speak and move in a way that reflects to others the love and beauty of who they are.

138. We say a lot more than we think, with our every movement and gesture, let alone the words we speak and type out. Your words remind me LJ that theres a tender precious place I know, that for too long I have kept behind a closed door. It feels awesome to begin to express this tenderness in all I do without fear, analysis or rationalisation, and see what true expression actually feels like.

     1. I agree Joseph, it is beautiful to once again feel who we truly are and be connected to our own true expression – and to have the trust to share this with others. This is how we evolve – together.

139. Love this blog Lj – well expressed. I love how you did not hold back and put it all on the table. You have been seen and this is something I understand to heal your past. “I am learning that I am quite sensitive to people’s words and how they choose to use them, or not use them”. Great blog of nomination to let go of what does not serve you.

140. Awesome blog on what is possible when we choose to make a change. I struggle with fear of how others will react when I express the truth but as I do it more and more I realise I am not only equipped to deal with it, but that my body can no longer hold back expression. I’m becoming more and more aware of how uncomfortable it is for me to hold back and that in order to not feel this I have to make a choice to override it.

     1. I can relate to this nikkimckee. Not wanting to have to deal with how others may react has definitely held me back in my expression too. But you are right, we are all equipped to deal with the reactions – it is just a choice as to whether we will or won’t. Building a relationship with ourselves and honouring and listening to our body does support us to make this choice.

     2. I find this also nikkimckee, it is very uncomfortable in the body to hold back expression and what is left unsaid is then circuiting disharmoniously in the body. Overriding anything in the body leads to illness and dis-ease further down the track. Our loving bodies keep us very honest.

141. “I am slowly learning not to personalise what others say in response or reaction to me” this is amazing LJ. We need to learn to express our truth regardless what other people might say or if they agree or not.

142. I love your honesty and openness LJ. Your expression offers huge support.

     1. Yes Lucy, there is such honesty and openness by LJ in this blog, and a surrender to the sensitivity they feel below the layers of protection. Thank you LJ.

143. I found this to be a deeply awesome and honest blog, inspiring me to look at the beliefs I hold about myself and my expression.

144. You have come from a place where expression was very much done ‘in hurt’ and from reaction. Beautiful how you are reclaiming back your true expression. It shows me that as a listener I should never judge others with ‘extreme’ expressions. It is not an excuse that they can express in such a way, but there is always a reason why others do so. They have not been met by who they truly are.

145. Well LJ, there is nothing wrong with your expression here! It is very deep and very powerful. In your description of how you still tremble to express I felt my own ‘wobble’ that is currently also a ‘work in progress’. Letting go of both my investment in people ‘getting it’ and worrying if they won’t like me anymore if I speak what is true but not necessarily what they want to hear, have been major factors in me finding my real voice once more – that big one full of warmth and love that holds all equal and says things how they are and not just how we would like them to be. When we speak what is true from the depths of our hearts, those that hear have always the choice whether to listen or not and whatever their choice it does not change the quality of that which was spoken, if what was spoken came from Love.

     1. I have had some friends speak some amazingly challenging things for me to hear, truths that can be an ‘ouch’ because I have to feel all the choices I have made but my friends have brought these revelations to me with love and understanding, and without judgement and I so so so appreciate that they didn’t hold back, that they shared what so was clear for them yet I was somehow not able to see. It is in moments like that, that I really appreciate that we are all learning to express truth and not hold back no matter what or how the other reacts. If we are able to express, and also truly listen, there is so much room for us all to grow.

        1. So true Rosie, by all of us learning to trust ourselves and express once again, we are able to share deep wisdom and beauty with each other, allowing us to evolve together. Truly magic.

146. Thank you for writing this blog LJ. Vocal expression is my last wall to completely jump over. Your blog has supported me to become even more honest about the difficulty with expression. There was a time that I would completely shut down when I had to speak in front of people. I can feel the past has contributed to this as well as having a stammer while growing up (this was terrifying). It took even a look of boredom from another person that I was trying to talk to, to shut my voice up, that’s how easy I could clam up. I can read every situation to a T, and building the bridge to the expression of this an ongoing journey.

     1. Awesome Matthew, it is amazing that even with a stutter when growing up, as an adult you are committed to expressing yourself in a world that is so ready to shut us down.

147. What you have expressed here LJ is so powerful; a beautiful reminder to express in truth and “take up the space”.
     You, like so many of us, are a work in progress; the forever student.
     On reading your blog I could really appreciate you taking responsibility for your transformation , very inspiring.

148. I am beginning to understand for myself that holding back expression or contraction away from my full self sometimes feels like the safe, non-imposing option but really it is a collusion with the lack of truth and love that I have felt in the world.

     1. True Andrew and it also hurts a lot to hold back our expression and in the long run causes more issues and problems. There are many illnesses that can be directly related back to lack of expression, we may not be ready to see this in full yet but it is a truth and a simple way to decrease raising illness and disease.

     2. Yes, we are clearly having a large impact on the world by keeping the things we really want to say, share and develop to ourselves. It’s almost like a rose that refuses to bloom and holds it all inside, hidden from view, only to rot, wither and die because it has avoided its one true purpose in life – to radiate beauty.

149. LJ this was super amazing, thank you for sharing it. Past hurts cause a lot of issues for many people. It’s amazing what happens when you start to recognize and heal them. A whole different world comes about.

150. Meeting people in the now and not judging them by their past is a line that is really resonating with me Marika. Judging people by their past has been a long time habit for me, and then I wonder why people do the same to me. It’s really something worth thinking about.

151. ‘When I do speak up, my voice audibly trembles and a red rash creeps from my chest up to my throat, which is quite noticeable and I am usually doing my best to hold back the tears. My brain becomes fuzzy and I can’t think clearly, I can only get out the very basics. ‘
     LJ reading these words has reminded me that I used to get the fuzzy brain and wave of heat and blank mind, but this has not happened for a long time. I really appreciate the support that I have received from Universal Medicine to trust my expression and how far we have all come in our expression because of this support.

152. Swearing is such a ‘dead’ give-away of lack of expression. It has always puzzled me why so many seemingly very confident and intelligent people who tend to hold the floor at every opportunity, find it necessary to embellish their story-telling with swearing. I am able to appreciate more and more that there is a deeper level of understanding in everything.

     1. Indeed Tamara when I swear it is as if I don’t have the right means at hand to express with enough emphasis what I have felt. But in reality it reflects my lack of responsibility to own what I have created or reacted to in any moment.

     2. Well said Tamara. Swearing is actually a clear sign of lack of confidence, as it is used to grab attention from people, hold the power in a room and as a way of imposing upon others that you are making a point. Absolute dead give a way of lack of expression, as you said.

        1. True Susie, It can be used to put off another, bully your point and put the spikes out that say back off, I’m carrying a whole lot of hurt.

153. There’s a real sense in your blog of you playing out different characters within and from the same person. But the true you shines through it all in the quality of your written expression. There’s a real strength to it but also a true delicateness as well.

154. Wow LJ you are amazing and very inspiring. “I have made choices to step out of this cycle, choosing to feel and express those feelings; to set aside the protection, be vulnerable, allow myself to be seen as fragile and delicate and to break down the control, the hardness and ALLOW in love. I have encouraged myself to take up space, to be the amazingly wonderful, kind and loving person that I am, that others know me to be and that I have always been.”

155. Hi LJ – I love you analogy of ‘stepping out of the back of the room’. The pathway to truly be able to express is forever unfolding. What strikes me as I read what you have shared is how rocky it can become, like running the gauntlet. It’s quite unfathomable that such a natural and essential ingredient to living and well-being becomes so contracted and even prohibited. Thanks for blazing your own new path and speaking up against the tide, you are a true inspiration for us all.

156. Touching how Serge Benhayon inspires us one by one to re-discover our trust. Thanks, LJ.

     1. It is deeply touching – the power of restoring trust in people is not something to be underestimated. Serge Benhayon is a prime example of the power of inspiration each of us carry within.

        1. I agree Abby, restoring trust with others has and is having a profound and amazing effect on my life, a large part of that has been building the connection and trust of myself, so to speak, by connecting more and more to my body, heart and expression of who I am, and what a joy and wonder this is to feel.

        2. Absolutely – a living example of brotherhood, love and the inspiration we all are for each other.

157. This is so powerful LJ. The way you express is so refreshing and real I am astounded by your ability to simply say it like it is. This shows me that we often shy away from our strengths due to the opposition and attacks we feel from others. Your experience shows how powerful it is to embrace your true strength and connect to it. In this you are untouchable.

     1. I also found the realness and upfront way LJ expressed very refreshing. There is definitely a strong quality in LJ expression that needs to be fostered to be delivered with truth and love. It is shocking to hear the consequences of what happens in a family like LJ had, but it is just as shocking to feel the cold politeness and brushing under the carpet that other families have. Either way, no one gets to express all the wisdom and love they have to offer and humanity stays caught chasing its tail.

        1. Great point Fiona there is a difference between expressing honestly and in a real way and expressing truth in a loving way where we do not compromise what we have felt but do not impose on another.

     2. Leonne, this jumped out for me also how refreshing LJ’s expression is. Saying it how it is can make some feel uncomfortable but something for us to embrace.

        1. Saying it how it is makes space for a conversation to evolve and both parties have an opportunity to learn something more.

     3. How beautifully, powerfully and tenderly said, Leonne. There is an absolute strength and naturalness to LJ’s expression, something that she has hampered throughout her life. Not any more! Do we all do this a bit – cripple our strengths as a way of fitting in with the crowd and societal expectations?

     4. Yes this blog is so real and shares what many of us have and do feel – the tension of expression when that is expression is not true. It takes a lot to break what people will think, how people will react ect – and walk around with a cape on. But as we start to slowly shift and express even the smallest of things without holding back, it shows us this is possible in all areas of expression and most of the time if the expression is true then it is a gift for the person hearing it.

158. I know that my capping of expression occurs by way of measuring what I think others can digest without reacting too much to what I have said. In truth, why would I ever cap the flow of Love? There has to be an avoidance of the free flow of Love in this strategy – which shows straight away that it comes from my spirit and the avoidance of full acceptance of responsibility….awesome to have gotten that one out!

     1. Well exposed Coleen – curbing our expression to suit others is a nasty trap that can seem very accommodating at the time but in truth it is retarding our connection to self, love and God. Not to mention the other person missing out, reaction or not! I too am learning to express in a full way, without missing bits out that may seem unattractive to another.

        1. Yes – I’ve heard it referred to as being flexible – but in truth it is deeply compromising and harming.

     2. Well said Coleen24. If there is any control or watering down of what comes out of my mouth or body (through body language), it is old hurts being protected or stubbornly resisting expressing all that I feel. This doesn’t allow the magic that can be there between people to flow or for anyone to evolve and grow.

     3. True Coleen. The moment we believe we can turn Love on and off at whim and measure it’s output, we are far removed from the Grace of God and the connection to our True home.

159. What a remarkable degree of honesty and revelation are in these words:

     “I accepted the use of abuse to subdue and control feelings and I have chosen in the past to use it myself in my family.”

     We have all allowed the abuse of one kind or another to control and effectively cap both the expression of our feelings, and our reading of situations and what is needed to be expressed in those situations. You honour all of us by expressing this truth, LJ.

     1. This goes quite deep, as I can feel that the abusive language we receive confirms the way we see life. For instance if I feel disempowered, I receive control. The controlling expression gives me confirmation, which allows me to stay comfortably in feeling disempowered.

        1. And so we set up a cycle of abuse and confirmation of abuse, a momentum that could last for many, many years…

        2. I love what you share here in this comment Fiona, great observation and awareness, ‘if I feel disempowered, I receive control’, and, ‘The controlling expression gives me confirmation, which allows me to stay comfortably in feeling disempowered.’

        3. Certainly is testament to the Truth that what we put out returns to us.
           We are essentially sending signals all of the time to attract to us what remains undealt with by us.

     2. Absolutely Coleen, we have all allowed abuse of some kind to stop us expressing what is needed in situations which might be abusive, and by not expressing we are contributing to and endorsing the abuse, because by us not not speaking up we are implying that the abuse is OK.

160. What a truly glorious and clear exposee of the difference between using words to control or to be nice, and words being used in the service of true expression. Awesome blog, LJ. Thank you.

161. Not personalising is hard – whenever we hear something we don’t like, whether it is true or not, it is difficult not to bristle. However, only when we don’t react are we able to see whether something is said in truth or not. That is worth making the choice not to react.

     1. I couldn’t agree more Christoph. Slowly, slowly I am learning not to instantly react and to give myself a moment of space to feel what’s being presented. I must admit, more often than not I have a reaction and then look at why I’m reacting – the learning is there too.

     2. And reaction is a choice. When I get myself out of the way it is much easier to hear the truth of what someone is saying (or feel if indeed they are speaking the truth) and from there I can make another choice.

        1. Nikki your comment has reminded me how expansive it is when I pause long enough to give myself the space to see what is really going on beyond the narrow mindedness of reactions.

        2. That pause moment is key – that is what gives space and in that there is room for understanding and a deeper reading of what is actually going on.

        3. Quite often i will have a reaction to what ever my initial reaction is and this is where I can bring more of my awareness to and make a different choice.

        4. Nikkimckee, it is empowering to know we have a choice, otherwise we just feel we are a victim caught up in the wave of reaction. As you say below, “That pause moment is key” –if we can pause to read the situation that gives us space to feel the whole situation not just our perceived side of it. We can then understand why the energy came at us and see what our part was in attracting that. By understanding the other person(s) we do not blame them nor excuse them but just accept what happened and learn from it.

     3. So true Christoph.
        For myself I know that the moment I have had a reaction to something, or have taken it personally – then I have lost my ability to see the truth in the situation and whats happening. Learning to observe things without any kind of emotional reaction or attachment is a huge thing for my life.

        1. I agree Simon, ‘the moment I have had a reaction to something, or have taken it personally – then I have lost my ability to see the truth in the situation’. I am still learning to keep observing, and more observing with no emotional reaction, and if there is one then allow myself a stop to bring me back to me.

        2. I have always wondered how to observe and one way may be to see the Divine in other people more clearly. Then it would be far less important if they did something that is not quite as Divine and I may much less feel the need to diminish myself and react. This is work in progress.

     4. Well said Christoph – It’s as though reacting blurs our ability to understand, that’s ultimately the choice we make in that moment, perhaps because we don’t want to know. In understanding we can read it, feel it and see it for what it is and not the personal story we may go into.

        1. I have noticed that when I react I the truth becomes distorted.

        2. I agree with this Dean, if I am in a reaction, what I am sensing, feeling or think that I know will be way off and its easy to dig my heels in to be right or to keep the picture going as I need it to be rather than go deeper and learn. I have found time and time again that the key is to become still, re-connect and to feel and from here, clarity returns as does the Truth of the situation.

     5. Reaction is literally for me a shutting of a door – I can’t feel, everything becomes internal, about me and what has happened to me – it’s like the room is then filled with every available story to take on rather than – not reacting and claiming the space to feel what has been said.

        1. In reading your description of reaction Lee, I can see how I have used reaction so much, almost like a drug and then I have all the stories to go with it! If I feel into it, the difference between the two are worlds apart. The tightness, the withdrawn, the lack of trust versus the space, the openess and the understanding.

        2. Brilliantly expressed Rosie, the two worlds apart are a constant reflection of what we are choosing in each and every moment.

        3. Spot on Lee, I could have written this….the truth is I used reaction ‘not to feel’ and then made it all about me and being the victim and from that space it would always spiral negatively….

        4. Precisely – a well crafted and self-centred reaction always means we are not looking at what really is there to be dealt with.

        5. I completely relate to your description of how it feels when in reaction. My peripheral vision goes, I feel I am surrounded with a foggy haze all around me and that I am the focus of attention feeling like the provable ‘cornered rat’. When not reacting and not taking things personally I’m so expansive and ‘wide-eyed’.

        6. Yes this happens Jonathan Stewart – there is a closing down or an opening up. We choose it either way – why not the expanded loving us?

        7. Great comments Lee – we truly are shutting the door on ourselves and our evolution and the brotherhood that is available to us at that moment.

     6. Yes Christoph, it is a choice and I made that choice, or rather held the intention to react no more as my reactions and emotions of the past just made things a whole lot worse. With my intention not to react, I have observed how open I am with others and how I let them in goes much easier and thus an equality and respect are now present in my interactions.

     7. Very true Christoph, reactions taint the truth with all our unresolved past hurts. Choosing not to react allows us to bring observation and understanding to situations, which helps us to accept what is there in front of us.

        1. Bringing understanding to situations I have found to be so essential, often I need space first to let go of the reaction.

     8. Sometimes Christoph, when I repeatedly react to the same person, it’s because I am unable to accept the person fully. I have an expectation and when this isn’t met, get annoyed and react. Each reaction reflects how stuck I am, and the learning that still awaits me. I can choose not to react and instead step back, listen, accept and not judge. I will keep working on this one as the prospect of deepening my relationship with this particular person is definitely worth it. Thanks Christoph.

     9. That would be wonderful Christoph and I am wondering how our life would look like if we would all live without being reactive. I am sure everybody would be more truthful as everybody would know that a lie would be expose very quickly.

162. I remember at some point it being shared that swearing was capping or not truly saying what was there to be said, and as I have played with this I couldn’t agree more, I use swearing to not share what I am feeling, it is protection and aggressive. I am choosing in that moment to not share the hurt that I am inevitably experiencing. It is great to see that and expand your truth by having the courage to step out of the comfortable shoes of keeping everyone at a distance and open up to how you really feel.

     1. I agree Vanessa. Whenever I feel like swearing I know I’m a hair’s breadth away from allowing myself to feel a deep vulnerability should I choose to feel and not allow emotions like anger and frustration to run my body instead.

        1. I love what you say hear Karin, “Whenever I feel like swearing I know I’m a hair’s breadth away from allowing myself to feel a deep vulnerability”. I feel this is true for many people who swear, especially men who cannot easily show their feelings, especially their fragility or tenderness. It’s great that there are now many role models of men who are not afraid to show their tenderness. As we let down the hard wall of protection so too will others be able to allow themselves to be as they are.

        2. Very well said – deep healing is possible should we surrender and allow ourselves to connect and to feel.

     2. Swearing for me feels like when I don’t want to take responsibility for what has just happened. I often hear an annoyed, blaming tone in a swear word, that stops me from feeling why it happened and what part I played in it.

        1. This is so true! I swore yesterday and now after reading your comment, I can clearly see as bright as daylight, how I was avoiding taking my responsibility in the situation! First of all it hurt those around me, then I said to them that I was not angry at them but I was and I was angry at myself too and I didn’t want to feel any of it.

        2. I can relate to this Fiona, it is almost like I don’t have to own or take responsibility for my feelings and that swearing can be used in a blaming or protective way. It takes much more courage to feel and express what I am truly feeling in any moment.

        3. Yes, i can relate to this Fiona and there is always a feeling of short changing myself and the other person if i choose to take the easy way out with reaction or a swear word. It doesn’t begin to express what is there to be said, felt and learnt from. It is like closing the door and saying school is closed for the rest of today.

     3. In my mother tongue, there are no swear words, and I have always found swearing in English to be unreal for me. It didn’t come naturally, there had to be a clear choice to swear. If I was to swear instead of articulating what was happening or what I was feeling, there was a clear choice that I was wanting to show aggression, wanting to stir or hurt, and I was not communicating much else.

        1. That is so interesting Fumiyo. I just assumed every language had its own swear words. I have been experimenting with not swearing because like Vanessa, it was presented to me that swearing is not expressing what you truly feel and so what needs to be said gets left stuck in the body. I have been practicing saying exactly what I am feeling in those moments when I feel to swear. Its very revealing to get beneath that initial impulse to just utter some expletives.

        2. I also just assumed that there were swear words in every language, and just took a moment to ponder on how beautiful it would be if they were all removed from existence in every language. I used to swear a lot, as did most of the crowd I hung out with. Now if I swear, it is a good sign that I have completely lost connection with myself or have been injured in some way, which also happens when I’m not with myself.

        3. I never even considered that Fumiyo, that some languages had no swear words. That is fascinating and so interesting to hear how you felt when you did take on swear words. It makes me ponder on where these words came from in the English language, although there are new words being added to the dictionary all the time, and I know my own children took on some ‘new’ swear words when they were growing up which definately weren’t around when I was a child. Is it possible therefore that when we swear, we are choosing to align to something that is not who we are and in doing so have the intent to hurt another?

        4. I have been observing, pondering and debating what I said earlier – Japanese doesn’t have swear words – and feel to offer clarification. We may not have the exact equivalent of the English swear words in the way they are used, but we do have plenty ways to direct unexpressed emotions at others using words and be rude/hurtful/malicious, and there are words that are banned from broadcasting. The English swear words are being imported as well, as more and more people are getting exposed to the culture and the language.

     4. Whenever I swear it takes me back to the ages I spent keeping everyone at arm’s length thinking this was the way to stay safe…it was a great big shield that simply said ‘back off – don’t come any closer’. Often those swear words were directed at me, so that was an interesting relationship with self!

        I now know the opposite is true. Being open, letting people in, letting me out, has brought true relationship, support and purpose to my life.

     5. I agree. Swearing is a way of impeding the full expression. I have worked in male environments with heavy swearing and all communication pretty much had swear words in the delivery. It is toning down what there is to share. I know for myself if I swear I am choosing to not express as deeply as I could and hide behind the swearing. If I was swore at choosing not to express back with swear words dulled the aggression. Everybody is hurt.

     6. Great point Vanessa. I too have felt the same from experience and find it can even be with words that may not be considered conventional swear words but used in the same energy they have equally the same capping effect from not fully expressing what I have been experiencing.

        1. They all fall short of saying what is there to be said and feeling what is there to be felt and learnt from.

163. Love your honesty LJ, as we all know expression is absolutely everything, for me I am good at expressing in some ways but pretty hopeless in others, I too am slowly getting better in all areas but some are definitely going to take more time.

164. “I have encouraged myself to take up space,”
     I love the way you have expressed this LJ for i can hear the permission you are allowing yourself and the availability of space , there is no limit to the grandness of you.

165. LJ you bring up a major point in on conversations when you state that chatting is not the same as expression. In fact there is a lot of empty conversation going on in the world, between each other, in the media etc. All of it just words to fill space and time, to distract and to actually keep us from feeling instead of expressing it. How awesome to understand the difference and to pay attention to whether we are just talking or truly expressing in every conversation we have no matter how big or small.

     1. yes Shirley-Ann and I feel we use chat to avoid and form of intimacy as to not show the other how we truly feel and who we truly are.

166. LJ thank you for your honest blog and for expressing so clearly. It is beautiful to feel and see how someone with your background and learned ways of expression can make such a huge turn around and relearn to express the love and beauty you hold within. Well done and what an inspiration that makes you.

167. LJ this is super inspiring, you are breaking with a momentum that you know keeps you away from yourself. I have spent years holding back my expression but as i break out of this mould there are times when what i say sounds clumsy or often its simply that i am trying too hard.The people around me, my family, friends and work colleagues are my practice ground, for each time i express something it bounces back at me and today with the foundational support of Universal Medicine i no longer bash myself or look to what i have not communicated but allow myself the space to redevelop my natural expression.

168. LJ awesome work for not holding back and keeping to forge forward with your expression even though in the past it has not always been met with a loving embrace, well with the exact opposite.

169. As one who has gone the opposite way to you LJ, and many times refused to speak up about what I was feeling or stating the truth that needed to be said, I have now come to really appreciate how powerful the truth is. Not the truth that hurts, because that is the one that is only for ourselves to be proven ‘right’, but the truth that lovingly exposes because it is the truth and is unstoppable in its love.

170. When I consider that Heaven is falling like a waterfall through each and every one of us all of the time then what happens to the purity of God for it to come out as swear words, slander, hate, disgust and all manner of venomous expression ? Is the pain that we carry so potent that it can distort Heaven to feel like Hell ?

171. Its pretty strong stuff, what you share in your blog LJ. While I don’t have the same back drop, I know too well how it can be to hold back, and not express what I am feeling… to me it feels like all the lived wisdom I have in my body just stays there, not being shared with a world that so desperately needs it, just to keep me ‘safe’. The good news is the blog is awesome! Its quite clear your expression is changing in a big way…

172. Serge Benhayon has been teaching “that expression is everything” for many years and I feel I am only just starting to truly understand this. For a long time I thought expression was just about voicing what I felt and also expressing through writing. Now I have a much deeper understanding that everything is expression and expression is everything. For instance, I am feeling that actually choosing not to say something at a particular time is also expression, what I choose to wear each day is my expression, how I choose to sit at the keyboard and play music is expression, how I exercise. I am expressing all of the time. What I now ask myself is not – am I expressing? But in what quality am I expressing? And this will be influenced by the quality of how I choose to move my body in my day to day activities.

173. I do like the question you raise LJ “So is there reason to fear expression?” and it makes me to ponder on it, as why do I hold back on expressing myself, is it out of fear? From the situations you describe I can feel that I have similar experiences, and I do now understand that the ‘negative’ experienced reactions that came as a result of my expression made me to go in fear of doing that again. But I do also understand that the ‘negative’ experienced reaction was there because of me not expressing from my truth, but from a hurt of wanting to be recognised in one way or another, so I was also not expressing in an open way but with a need to be seen and to impress on the other, in fact with doing that blaming the other for the hurts I had experienced in life.

174. This is huge LJ. It just shows how powerful our expression can be and how much we miss, powerfully miss, when we don’t express our truth. You are very brave. I know that a huge fear comes up in me when I want to say something that may get a reaction. There have been times in the past when the reactions have been strong, scary and unrelenting. So to stand strong but not hard, to stand in the truth and not take the reaction personally is the work in progress.

175. LJ it only takes one person to say no, and to express again from truth, in steadiness and commitment to reflect. If one person is willing to go deeper always in tenderness, love and understanding to all but unwavering in truth, the resistance that comes back is a confirmation.

     1. Adele, in your comments I can feel your commitment to expressing truth. It is inspiring. I still fall into ‘having a chat’ as a way of connecting with people. This is a big step from never speaking to anyone, but the truth often gets stuck in my throat when I feel it and as a result often goes unsaid. More steadiness and commitment required…

176. There is nothing more beautiful to allow the love that we are to be truly expressed—the whole world is waiting for us to do so, as they too have waited for this reflection to choose this for themselves. No matter how challenging it is, the choice to return to truly expressing is the most amazing gift of self-love.

     1. Very true, Adele. It can be very challenging, even on a physical level as LJ describes, but that simply is showing us how long it has been since we have let ourselves express from the place of truth that we are.
        This does not last forever, though, and it is a momentary discomfort that gives way to the vastness of the expression of truth.

177. There are so many false ideas of what expression is in the world. Chatting superficially, cursing, joking with the intention to degrade oneself or others, arguing, imposing, sympathetic expressions etc. are all believed to be expression, but none of them are true. We seem to be talking a lot as a world, but at the same time nothing is truly expressed and communicated. This is abuse to our bodies and abuse to the one body, our world.

     1. That is quite a revelation Adele… what is truly being expressed? Certainly there is a lot of noise out there but does any of it actually change anything. Are we learning from each other, teaching each other, evolving as human beings? Or is it that we are simply (and woefully) confirming the same choices our forbears made, thus making the world spin one more time providing us with another opportunity to try something different.

178. LJ this is a powerful piece being lived. The commitment to truly express again is opening up expression not only in our own lives, but in the whole world. As you have said, the cycle that we were in no longer supports, and as much as it seems to be challenging in the beginning, we are choosing to step out of it, to return to truth. We are returning to truth, what a celebration.

179. What you’ve written here is so inspiring. I grew up in a very lively household who were very vocal in their reactions, opinions and bravado – and so was I. I didn’t honour my fragility or tenderness and tried my hardest to numb my sensitivity believing it was a handicap to surviving in the world.

     Your blog reminds me, every interaction holds in it the choice to either come from my inner heart or to play small (which in the past was loudly reactive) and familiar. I avoided intimacy and vulnerability which your blog inspires me to reconnect to in situations I’d prefer to play safe – so to allow everyone to see who I am and not just those I’ve deemed supportive. In this way I honour and offer the reflection for us all to honour the love we come from.

180. I agree, LJ, it is difficult to overcome our resistance to expressing our true feelings. However, when we break the barrier to this it feels beautifull. The great changes you have made since meeting Serge Benhayon must feel wonderful for you. It is what I am aiming at also, and although ‘old habits die hard’, I am gradually having more awareness of and being more successful with my new commitment in my daily living. How honoured we are in having found Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

181. LJ, there are so many reasons we can forgive ourselves for a lack of expression, true expression. I am currently noticing situations that can render me almost mute, but of course they have little to do with the situation and everything to do with how I have loaded that situation up. Expectations of the past, leading to putting conditions on the here and now…such an important conversation to have.

     1. True Shirley-Ann, no magic pills to take or short cuts, just identifying the pattern and make a different choice…its amazing how life keeps showing us the same lesson until we make a different choice…a more loving choice.

182. LJ thank you for writing and sharing, especially this sentence. ‘I have made choices to step out of this cycle, choosing to feel and express those feelings; to set aside the protection, be vulnerable, allow myself to be seen as fragile and delicate and to break down the control, the hardness and ALLOW in love.’ I am inspired by your commitment to understand expression, what can get in the way and explore what ‘Expression is Everything’ means for you

183. LJ I appreciate your honesty in where you have been and your commitment to taking responsibility and claiming your own voice. Very inspiring. Thank you.

184. I too can relate to talking so much in the past, my friends always thought I never had problems and I was always looking happy. Truth is I would be hiding behind my chatting not truly expressing my true feelings. Now I have began to express my true feelings, I feel completely different in myself with not not hiding or holding back.

185. LJ what a beautiful blog, you really talk about what real expression is, letting your feelings show, expressing them, and I understand completely when you talk about being a chatterbox but not truly expressing. I’ve done this one often too, and actually the chatter is a way to not express, to run away from what I can feel, it has in the past been almost a nervous tick. I’ve been learning to catch it more and truly say what I feel or even if I’m not sure what I’m feeling, rather than just ramble. I love that you’re allowing yourself to take the space, to express yourself even while it feels uncomfortable – this is inspiring and very important to hear; each of us has a journey in learning to express more and it’s those steps which are gold. Thank you for sharing your story.

     1. I suppose that being a chat a box is just like swearing it is just the nice version and more socially acceptable version, though saying that swearing is really very much accepted in society. Either way they both do not have any true expression of how one is feeling and if expression is everything then we are quite a long way from that being lived.

        1. I had an ouch Vanessa, when you mentioned that chatter is the nice version of swearing – it is, and I’d never considered that before – both are equally wasteful and really do nothing for expression. What’s needed is true expression us connected to and speaking from our bodies, with or without words.

     2. Hi Monica. I see the ‘chatterbox phenomenon’ often in my work with children. Children will ramble on and on about nothing as a way of starting to disconnect from themselves, as I see it. Sometimes they seem to be replaying an incident they have witnessed that they are struggling to integrate / accept; other times they seem to be talking themselves into doing something or thinking something. Often this behaviour is endorsed socially as being ‘cute’ and it is remarked, “Oh, Sally..she is such a little chatterbox,’ with affection, as though this is a good thing. Like you, I feel it is not a good thing, but rather, a move away from connection with themselves and certainly a move away from true expression.

        1. It’s funny how we encourage that behaviour (chatter) in children, and absolve it when we and they both know it’s not true. The question I have hearing your experience is how disconnected are we that we don’t stop and ask them what is going on? In their rambling and chatter children are reflecting to us that we’re living in disconnection and not truly communicating – we need to break this idea for both children and adults that chatter is a good thing, it’s very insidious as it fuels us to stay disconnected from ourselves and not say what we really feel.

        2. I agree, Monica- we do need to start calling out the nature of this phenomenon as being neither supportive nor helpful

186. Reading your blog, JL makes me consider how much my expression was about hiding myself instead of getting seen for who I truly am. This hiding-through-expression aspect, I feel, is very common and this always confused me, although I did it myself. Beautiful to read your sharing and feeling you, claiming
     your expression from who you are!

187. It is not the initial pain of physical violence that is the most traumatic aspect as it is the immense psychological damage it can impart over time. We are delicate beyond measure and it is a horrific blight on society that we do not dedicate ourselves to being more loving with each other. What this beautiful blog exposes is the fact that the true end game of violence is not ultimately to cause physical pain, but rather to intimidate another so that they do not express the truth. For it it the truth that the immensely hurt human being detests most of all, for it exposes the fact that the way they are choosing to live is purely their choice. Best to lash out and attack than sit back and ponder on the wisdom another may bring. That, unfortunately is the philosophy that too many stand by in this world, and thus why it is very difficult to have an open discussion that does not end up heated or antagonistic.

     1. It is in fact its own irresponsibility that the human being does not want to see it has chosen. And yes the body has a self-healing aspect in regards of physical hurts – the psychological hurts indeed need often help to heal what needs to be healed as they can be far more insidious.

     2. ‘the true end game of violence is not ultimately to cause physical pain, but rather to intimidate another so that they do not express the truth’…. that is huge Adam, and I can see it playing out one on one through the blog, and it feels exactly the same as the repression of countries like China and Russia that lock their dissenting voices away in an effort to keep a lid on it, and scare others from expressing how they truly feel.

     3. The intimidation you speak of Adam is very true, as part of shutting down the truth of what is said. Intimidation is also used to shut down the natural expression of the person, not necessarily just their vocal expression, but the full expression of a person’s inner qualities.

188. i can relate to your experience – I spent a long time growing up especially hiding in other behaviours to avoid expressing myself. I am now addressing these behaviours and allowing must to express more and more. Sometimes I find this challenging and notice fear or anxiety can surface big time when there are moments for me to express but I somehow work through this. I have some very steady friendships on my life, people who love me with no conditions. These relationships inspire me to express more than ever and I am deeply thankful for them.

189. I echo what other comments have expressed in applauding you for your honesty and openness LJ. It is refreshing and to the point, no holding back and telling it like it is.
     I found myself shocked with reading of violent attacks against you from family members, yet I felt that the bruises and physicality of that is too very honest. I also felt the devastation of these similar attacks being energetic or ‘behind our backs’ which we still feel as intensely but cannot see.

190. ‘ I am slowly learning not to personalise what others say in response or reaction to me.’
     This is a huge learning curve LJ and one that many will undertake when the fact of energy is sought and understood. Yes these attacks are coming to knock me out ‘energetically’ but it is not the person, it is an energy they have allowed in through which ever holes are there; like insecurity or jealousy. When I see it as energy and don’t take it on the attack doesn’t affect me, we need to keep on reading to not take it personally and react.

191. The whole archaic ethos of retribution and revenge is disturbing. It gives people a license to behave in atrocious ways. What you have written of here, fragility, truthfulness humbleness and even vulnerability – breaking down control and manipulation is the powerful antidote we very much need.

192. This is an awesome piece of expression LJ – the raw truthfulness in it is particularly humbling and inspiring. Although I was shocked by what you described it was also familiar to me (I think that was the part that was most shocking really). What you have expressed is very valuable thank you.

193. Your blog LJ exposes how powerful unacknowledged and unresolved hurts can drive the choices we make in how we interact with others and life. The hidden gems of our essence are packed away form the world and cleverly buried seemingly beyond reach. The truth of who we are is always known and keeps asking to be allowed to be expressed. True Expression takes many forms and all we need to do is start with the smallest movement done in love and the next will unfold. Love your honesty.

     1. From reading your blog I can feel how I had resistance about ‘not being perfect’. As well as a deep appreciation for the honesty and how far you’ve come. I read a lot of commitment and dedication to yourself. Inspiring. For me personally because it’s reflecting how I’ve seen this as ‘normal’ rather than feel the enormous appreciation towards myself. Thank you.

     2. Love your comment ch1956.

194. Interesting how we can be speaking a lot but not really saying anything. Much like music, a single pearl is better than a string of potatoes.

195. What an awesome sharing LJ. You have certainly expressed your journey so refreshingly honest and not held back. There is much that I can learn from what you have shared – thank you.

196. “I am a work in progress” I think this goes for all of us. We are all works in progress as there in no final point at which we can get to and stop evolving. The thing is to appreciate how far we have come, and to keep being open to the next unfoldment in our lives, which is the glorious unfolding journey of the forever student.

197. “I am slowly learning not to personalise what others say in response or reaction to me.” I think that this is the key to being able to express our truth freely because the moment we take a response personally, we will also react in some way by holding back or saying something that will make us more likeable.

     1. Yes not personalising is key for me also, it takes the pressure off what someone says to me and I feel more able to express the full picture of something I feel knowing that it may not be someone else’s cup of tea.

198. LJ i like how you honour the reactions you can feel and observe in your body when you do speak up by just letting them happen but not letting them distract you from expressing what you are there to express. This is really beautiful and enormous and the way to go, holding ourself in love and letting all the things clear that simply do not belong anymore while we are soaring back to our future.

199. Oh my, I was such a swearer as well. I can totally relate to that. And I was proud of the fact that I swore so much and that it was part of my daily conversation. I was putting on a tough Gal front and using it as a protection so that people knew not to get too close. When I was brought up we weren’t allowed to swear as children, but as I became a teenager I just ignored that and went around swearing at home. At first it was just when I was angry, but then it became part of my every day expression. The worst thing is that my mum started swearing a lot more as a result of it, picking it up from me. Terrible! Nowadays I can feel how using of the F word has a way of putting distance between people and creating an unnecessary tension in a conversation. And the more I feel open to people and humanity, and connected to the love that I am, the swearing just feels bad.

200. No coincidence that in a number of situations today I felt the ‘small’ and ‘nothingness’ that is a very real feeling when I was talked over or didn’t feel heard by my peers and management at work. There was a part of me that really wanted to close off from others and not let myself feel hurt or vulnerable around them; but another, much stronger part of me realised the situation in the bigger picture at play. By not choosing to react to others reactions I was able to not only not take others expression as personal, I was able to back myself and see clearly where I too am choosing to uncover more of my own expression.

     1. Cherise that is huge. Often these situations occur to offer us the opportunity to deeply appreciation and value what we have to say, regardless of whether anyone else wants to hear what we say or not. Not holding back our expression is the important part, whether someone listens or not is their choice. Learnings for us all.

201. I agree, a very frank and honest sharing that is inspiring and real.

     1. Absolutely Katie and Deborah, I agree, hiding what we ‘feel’ has never worked for me. Totally ‘inspiring’ sharing!

202. Wow LJ, what you have expressed with us in your writing is such an intimate part of you and I feel the key word for me that you used was ‘vulnerable’. Allowing yourself to be this, to feel your delicateness and the fact that you are and have sensitivities is a very powerful and courageous thing to do; supporting the whole world to further embrace their true selves once again. Thank you.

203. It is deeply inspiring to feel your honesty, read your words and to understand your learning regarding abuse and the cycles of abuse that continue on and on and our part in them.
     Your honesty and reflection of your part in this cycle and the choices available in each moment will support many who are likewise cycling the abuse track.

     1. This is true Deborah, a blog that can support others to heal abuse, now that is one powerful story.

        1. Yes Sally, and it really shows how important expression is, not just for ourselves but for the opportunity that sharing in a real and honest way brings to another.

204. Your loveliness is no longer hidden LJ! …and your sensitivity is delightful, “I am learning that I am quite sensitive to people’s words and how they choose to use them, or not use them” – what a gift to yourself.

205. Fabulous sharing LJ. I really appreciate your openness and honesty, and I can relate so well to much of what you share. Like you I’ve been re-learning to express the truth of how I actually feel, having allowed myself to be governed my whole life by past hurts, traumas and fears. They really are very crippling, and the worst thing is that our fears will always create and confirm the belief that it’s not okay or safe to speak up, giving us the perfect excuse to stay silent. Only the other day I had a situation where I had to let someone know that their behaviour was not okay and in return I was bombarded with reaction, denial and defense. I could see so clearly that this was why I had chosen to shut down and not express – it’s horrible to feel the reactions of others, but I’m gradually learning to value myself and know my worth, and most importantly not take other peoples reactions personally. When I do this, I’m simply repeating old patterns and buying into stories and dramas. What a waste of energy!

206. Reading your beautifully expressed blog LJ it struck me how honest and sensitive you are and always were. It sounds like you were king hit for sharing a truth – that does not surprise me, it has been happening since the beginning of time. Maybe your family was jealous of you? There is a great free audio about exactly this at the start of Unimedpedia Jealousy here: http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia/word-index/unimedpedia-jealousy.html

207. It’s interesting how you chose a profession where you chat to everyone LJ, exposing the superficiality of chit chat, and have had this journey with your true expression. I have also been frightened to say what I think, because I’ve thought it’s probably silly, and then someone else says it. The journey is to value ourselves and express what is there to be said, without concerning ourselves with the outcome.

208. What you wrote is VERY cool! No fluff, just real and honest. Thanks LJ, your expression is a breath of fresh air.

     1. I agree, a no nonsense and say it as it is and as it was kind of expression – a powerhouse in the making.

     2. Totally agree Nicole, it’s so much easier to connect to what someone is expressing when it is shared with such honesty and openness. Thank you LJ for keeping it real!

209. LJ, What you share confirms that both men and women display outer behaviour to hide their true feelings and as a consequence completely submerged their true selves under multiple disguises: alcohol abuse, bravado, humour, swearing, aggression, shyness, coldness. The many false masks we have all worn to protect ourselves. Your blog is a timely reminder not to focus on outer behaviour (while never accepting abuse) as this is not the real person. People are the way they are because of choices made and have yet to find the path that leads them back home to their loving, vulnerable and sensitive selves. Welcome home LJ.

     1. I totally agree with you Kehinde. Both genders have built shields in the illusion that it protects them. As we have all discovered it does not work but the insanity is we keep strengthening the shield until eventually we learn the truth. The truth that our ‘loving, vulnerable and sensitive selves’ is the greatest protection we can ever have. Welcome home and to the family, ‘Miss-Have-A-Chat’.

        1. Wow, this takes it to another level Jonathon, ‘our loving, vulnerable and sensitive selves is the greatest protection we can ever have’

     2. Beautiful kehinde2012. It is awesome to see the games that people play for what they are. It is clear that the many ‘protections’ we employ are in fact pure harm.

210. It is so awesome that you have chosen to express all of this as you have. Your commitment to working on you, catching those old patterns and letting out what you know is there to be shared is amazing. The inspiration that has moved you to embrace your true expression now inspires others to embrace theirs too. Very cool.

211. It is so important to encourage our youngsters to feel and say what they have felt and to not berate them for their opinions. Growing up it was common practice within our household for the children to be quiet and not give their thoughts on an adult conversation, or for that matter we would pretend we weren’t listening. Being seen and not heard for some reason also meant we couldn’t hear or understand – is it any wonder children can be seen as less.

212. Lj, i can relate to what you have written here, ‘I was ballsy on the booze and I didn’t give a s#**. I would take you on, wrestle you to the ground like a man and wouldn’t give in until you did.’ This is how i used to be when i was drinking alcohol, I was very tough and very manly, now having stopped drinking alcohol and all of the other abusive things that i used to do, i have now re-connected to the delicate, sensitive, tender true me that was there all along and it now seems unbelievable that i could ever be the tough, aggressive tomboy that was ready for a fight, I can feel how I was living very far away from who I truly am and it is now so very lovely to be returning to my truth.

     1. Loved reading this Rebecca.. and could not help but imagine old you meeting new you, the inspiration that would give – that all that outer hardness was not necessary.

213. Thank you Miss Have-a-Chat love your claiming of yourself ‘I have encouraged myself to take up space, to be the amazingly wonderful, kind and loving person that I am, that others know me to be and that I have always been.’ I too can chat away but can really relate to the reluctance to take up space in the past. Expanding my expression is a work in progress but it is inspiring to read your journey with it.

214. Such a delight to read this blog Lj, and feel your beautiful honest expression. Most will relate to shutting down their expression for whatever reason…. for me I also shut down my expression in childhood because my environment did not feel safe or support me to express my natural innocence and beauty. Like you, having met Serge Benhayon and attended his courses, I too have let go of my hurts, and now I can easily express my truth.

215. LJ I could relate to how we don’t want to say things for fear of saying the wrong thing or hurting someone and how much this compromises what really needs to be said and I can feel how painful and restrictive this feels in the body. I have measured my expression for most of my life and it is only through writing on these blogs and attending Universal Medicine workshops that I am truly beginning to allow myself to open up and express all that I am…like you LJ I am a work in progress but is worth every step, knowing that ‘Expression is Everything”

     1. I couldn’t agree with you more alisonmoir. The Universal Medicine workshops have helped me soon much with my expression. I used to be exactly the same especially at school where I would not want to speak up in a classroom or stand out in a crowd for fear of looking stupid or silly. I am starting to learn just how important expression is.

     2. Same for me too Alison. Not expressing hurts us, and others beyond measure.

216. Amazing transformation Lj from being hard, tough and rough in your expression to now being honest, open and vulnerable. How beautiful to feel the change in your blog, by taking responsibility for your past behaviours and understanding the bigger picture.

217. It is so beautiful to read another person’s healing journey. We all have so much to heal and it takes courage to face our hurts and to do something about them. Thank you for the inspiration.

     1. Yes Elizabeth this is so true. It is super supportive to hear how another person has overcome their hurts to then choose to live their lives as lovingly as they can. Very inspiring without a doubt. Thank you LJ.

     2. I wholeheartedly agree Elizabeth – another’s courage and loving choices can inspire so many more and long after we are gone.

     3. Agreed Elizabeth, a healing like in this blog is incredible to read and is a miracle by any standards.

     4. This is so true Elizabeth, there is so much that gets left unsaid and all it takes is one person to start the conversation to give the opportunity for many to heal.

     5. I agree Elizabeth…and when we express (rather than chit-chat) there is so much inspiration we can learn from another.

218. I do appreciate the honesty in your blog LJ, to not be judgemental and truly honest about where you come from and where you are at is for me key in the healing process we are all equally in, in our path of return to the true and real us and you show me once again that this is the way to go as it is the way to true healing of all the false images of how to behave in life we have taken on.

219. Thank you LJ for your down to earth and ‘real’ description of what your life and expression has been. I loved this description of you. ‘I have encouraged myself to take up space, to be the amazingly wonderful, kind and loving person that I am, that others know me to be and that I have always been.

220. There aren’t many avenues to express 100%, we have all experienced being shut down and shutting down others. Sometimes it is great to call at least in most situations in adult life people will be shocked and at least listen 😉

     1. Yes Luke, it is time to bring true conversation alive again. And the best way for attempt at resuscitation is to start to truly listen and express naturally.
        I feel beautifully supported with this by Chris James (http://www.chrisjames.net).

        1. Great call Sandra.

221. I love how you present that easily chatting about everything and anything does not mean straight away that there is true expression. When I first heard the words “Expression is Everything” by Serge Benhayon, I directly thought of talking more and that I had to speak more, yet even though for me it is sometimes good to talk a little more as I usually can be quiet at times, expression is about how you are in everything you do.

     1. absolutely Lieke, expressing more does not mean ‘chatting more” it means expressing more quality and truth.

        1. Yes, when we truly express, we bring more of our innate quality and truth to everyone and every situation.

        2. Absolutely harryjwhite that sounds like music to my ears! “Expressing more quality and truth.”

        3. When we express what is true from the depths of our being, it is a quality that permeates our every thought, word and gesture whether we speak or not, for it is our ability and willingness to live our love with every breath.

     2. wow this is a mega revelation Doug! Our bodies are communicating so much! I have found that when I feel great in my body and am expressive within myself, what I say is absolute GOLD. Absolutely love your simple wisdom.

     3. Expression is from the body and not from our words. This is something I am new to, and realising that the way I move my body is my first form of expression came as quite a shock.

        1. “Realising that the way I move my body is my first form of expression came as quite a shock.” I know nikki this was for me too but it is very freeing to know this. Changing the way I move when I feel not good about myself makes a world of a difference. I realised that how I move can be disregard for my body for instance plumbing down in a chair or doing things harshly. Changing my moves to tender, delicate and deeply honouring of the woman I am changed so much in how I feel about myself. It is really important to know this.

        2. Yes, I love it now too. I can use my movement to come back to myself or to shift something I may be caught up in. I used to try and work through things and nut them out in my head. It is much simpler to change the way I am moving and the results are more instant.

222. “ Sometimes I catch myself falling into the old patterns and sometimes, I just don’t!” LJ, it’s great how you don’t justify yourself and how you can accept yourself as you are. I love how you say “…and sometimes, I just don’t!” It’s as simple as that – just don’t fuel the problem and it shrivels up and dies.

     1. I love this too. Bringing a simplicity and power and, as you say Sandra ‘just don’t fuel the problem and it shrivels up and dies’ This way we free ourselves of so much that we have been influenced by.

223. LJ, I found your blog refreshingly honest and frank and I enjoyed the humour which beautifully conveys the message that expression is not “chatting about stuff” or about expressing emotion but about connecting to the truth of what is happening which can be read from the body. Great how you saw through the swearing drinker to the delicate fragility within and now when you ‘shoot from the hip’ it will hit the bulls-eye with enough love that the person concerned may be able to hear what you are expressing.

     1. Really well said Sandra.

224. Awesome courage LJ, you are an inspiration. What an amazing turn-around you have made for yourself.

225. Thank you, LJ, for writing this blog. It has allowed me to journey through my own unfoldment on expressing myself – from not having any idea about the depth of holding back I was living in (I actually thought I didn’t have any problem as I thought losing my temper and getting angry or crying was being expressive!), to realising we are all part of this Universe and more, and have much to contribute by way of expression – which actually is our responsibility, and holding back myself is not a personal issue.

     1. I can relate to arrogantly thinking I didn’t have a problem with expression – how wrong I was! Thank you Fumiyo for the reminder that ‘holding back myself is not a personal issue’, I am now embracing my responsibility to express and appreciating the unfolding that brings.

226. It is interesting that when we struggle with expression it becomes easier to use swear words as a way of masking our inability to express what we feel.

     1. This is very true Alison, swear words are the end result of accumulated, not addressed and unspoken hurts. The deeper the hurt the louder and more agressive the swear words. And hurts are buried deeper if not expressed when they happen. A vicious circle so to speak.

     2. yes Doug I tend to do that to avoid feeling what is there to be felt so avoid it by reacting and at times that will end in swearing either at or about a situation.

     3. Swear words are like packages of unexpressed emotions that get magnified in our bodies each time we say it – there is a defiance in swearing, which builds hardness in the body and as you both say Alison and Doug, it perpetuates a cycle of unexpressed feelings.

     4. So true Alison! I have noticed that too.

     5. absolutely Doug – each and every one of us have so much to share, it’s amazing the lengths we can go to to hold this back, and to avoid the responsibility that comes with accepting that everything we express matters.

        1. Yes Doug, I too keep uncovering different ways I’ve held back expressing and it can certainly be a bit uncomfortable at times to feel not only how it has affected me, but also those around me. But with each time my expression is a little deeper and a little stronger – it’s like another layer between me and the world (and me and myself) disappears.

227. LJ wow what a story, it is complete joy to feel how your expression has unfolded and continues to unfold from such former suppression. Expression , or the lack of expressing how we feel, and truth, is such a common issue that affects so many people to varying degrees…once we start dealing with it through expressing about it, as you’ve done here in your post, it opens up the door to further expressing as being normal.

228. An open and honest sharing – thank you. It is so important that we share with others how we have hidden away and hardened from our ability to express not only how we are feeling but what needs to be heard by the world from our own lived authority. Well done for breaking through the hurt and shakily putting your hand up to share. Amazing.

     1. I absolutely agree Jo, so true the words we express ‘from our own lived authority’ through the love we are definitely needs to be shared! Being the Son of God has never been an expression that sits easy with many people, thanks to the teachings of Serge Benhayon I can truly express that I am a Son of God!

        1. It took me a while to really embody that I was a Son of God because I had built up so many issues in the way, but clear them and the light of truth comes shining through – we are all equal sons.

229. Once we become aware of abuse and its presence in our lives it’s time to start looking at how we are abusive. Vocal expression is one arena in which abuse can be hard to detect – it can be as subtle as a tone of voice, a sly put-down, off-handedness. We can be abusers as much as abused. We have all done this.

     1. Victoria I agree in full, I would not have said I was abusive 12 years back yet the truth was almost every aspect of my life was abusive. I also would have said I was expressing yet very few if any areas of my life held true expression. The way we measure and view things certainly distorts the reality we live in. With true expression my entire life has changed.

     2. Very true Victoria. Any type and amount of abuse gives way for more to fester and play out. Its quite our responsibility to not let abuse be allowed for ourselves- by changing our own abusive patterns we have with others.

     3. Great point Victoria, when we do not speak from love it is felt by the other person. I notice for me if I’ve held back speaking up about something that I feel hurt about I may choose hurtful words or tone about something unrelated.

     4. Well said Victoria. I am becoming more and more aware of these milder forms of abuse. The way something is said can be very harming yet hard to pin point. And yes, it is quite revealing when I take a look at myself.

     5. I love how you bring the responsibility back to each and every one of us Victoria. Abuse can be expressed in many ways, both verbal and none verbal, obvious and subtle.

230. It’s amazing me at the moment to see how embedded abuse is in our lives. The recent focus on domestic violence in this country (Australia) is demonstrating a near national epidemic of normalised, ‘everyday’ abuse – we are being shown the extent to which we have lived (and continue to live) with it. The scenario you describe in your family of origin is no doubt more common than we care to admit and if our own experiences are not quite like this, guaranteed there will have been more subtle forms of abuse.

     1. Yes Victoria abuse is rampant in life in all cultures. It is shocking what we have accepted as normal and only can be seen for its abnormality when we start to become more self loving and caring that we start to allow ourselves to feel the abuse. Last week in the UK there were statistics that domestic abuse had increased by 30% in the last few years, it did not make the front pages of the newspapers, some not at all…. I thought this was very indicative of the state of affairs we find ourselves in, noone wants to feel the truth of what is going on in most peoples daily lives.

     2. Absolutely Victoria, I agree, abuse of any kind is not executable.

231. Thank you LJ for your expression here. From abuse to tenderness, it feels like you are breaking old patterns one by one as you step into the fullness of you. Very inspiring and I’m pretty sure every reader will relate to at least one element of all that you have shared.

     1. Well said Victoria, and ‘breaking old patterns one by one’ is a smart way of approaching issues and life in general – instead of trying to tackle hundreds of things at once, setting a focus and looking at how that particular part of life needs to change as well as bringing as much of you as possible to other aspects of life works wonders.

232. Thank you for sharing your journey so far LJ. I too had a problem expressing my feelings and sharing who I am in groups , not because of abuse or anything like that but mainly lack of confidence and being self conscious , both holding myself back from sharing my opinion or knowledge. Over the past few years I am starting to speak my truth and share more of who I am. This makes a huge difference to my life. It is great to hear you are making changes that allow you to also express on that deeper level too.

233. Loved your blog. In your writing I am reminded of the many surface layers that we can apply to ourselves when we grow up and live life and that we begin to communicate only from these surface layers to all other surfaces that we see. Swearing can be in these surface layers, so can lying, so can being nice and so can violence and horrible things (many many layers) but one thing that they all have in common is that they are not true expression because they are coming from a created layer and are not the original truth of God that lives in our inner hearts.

     1. Well said Harry and a great way to look at things like swearing and the more superficial comments. They are a whole heap of words stuck into one word which whilst outwardly appearing to be expressive in no way capture the whole or the truth of what is there to be said. The more we express what we are really feeling the clearer everything becomes, at least it has in my case. I also find I then do not have those conversations in my head saying I should have said this or that because I said all there was to at the time so it means I can then get on with my day/life without having to return to the person or situation to resolve and complete it.

        1. I really like this James Nicholson. A swear word is a whole bunch of things that are bottled up inside that we don’t know how so express. And so it bursts out in the frustration of not knowing how to say what we want to say.

        2. Something I find is that all these bottled up expressions then get taken out on someone who has had absolutely nothing to do with the situation, or why I allowed myself to get frustrated. Like when I was a teenager I would allow things to build up and get get annoyed with my parents even though they weren’t necessarily at fault!

     2. I lived with this protective armour for years on end, however when i met Serge Benhayon and begun to re-connect with my innermost, this armour began to fall away, the nakedness often feels uneasy but the soundness within that i have returned to is unwavering.

234. Thank you JL, a difficult barrier to overcome but one you are tackling with supreme courage. I love how you are so honest about your dutch courage and your ability to chit chat about everything under the sun except how you are truly feeling and the truth that you so clearly see and feel. I too “I have encouraged myself to take up space” after wanting to be invisible for so long. Meeting Serge Benhayon was a turning point in my life as well, a common experience for so many, for not only does he uphold ‘expression is everything”, he is the first person I have met who never judges another for the quality of their expression. Serge Benhayon remains steadfast to his own sturdy stillness and love, forever able to clearly read and respond to what is truly being said, not only verbally, but physically, energetically, emotionally and mentally as well. His ability to read everything and respond to the whole of us is a continual living inspiration and art form in action. A joy to behold and a treasure to learn from.

235. LJ the honesty of what you have expressed here is truly awesome. I spent a lot of my life closed off from most people especially my family and have only recently been able to show my vulnerability to them without feeling shame and guilt for not being the hold it together girl. Those days are past and now I feel much more joy expressing my truth and who I am really am to the world. It feels amazing. This blog rocks, thank you for sharing you with us all.

236. Hi Lj, I read your blog avidly it was inspiring to see how you have made the choice to change from being scared of expression to speaking up from the position of love. I too have held back from expression most of my life because of not liking to feel the reaction of others and it is still something I don’t like to feel but like you I am being more honest and expressing more often than before. Its a day by day learning. Thank you for sharing your journey.

     1. Judy what really hit me whilst reading your comment was that if, as Serge Benhayon has presented, ‘everything is expression’, (which I am coming to feel the truth of) and we have all repressed our true expression then what on Earth are we creating ? If no one has been expressing the truth then it stands to reason that we are living a lie. Our expression creates the reality that we live in. Therefore as our expression becomes more truthful then so will our reality.

        1. Wow Alexis, thanks for your comment – it really hit home, highlighting the importance of expression and why it hurts so much to hold it back – “Our expression creates the reality that we live in. Therefore as our expression becomes more truthful then so will our reality.”

        2. Thank you for this gem Alexis “Our expression creates the reality that we live in.” So true! Shows the responsibility we all hold to express and not hold back.

     2. Indeed judykarenyoung, this day by day learning gives us endless opportunities to open up the true sound of our voice.

237. What an amazing ‘work in progress’ you have shared, LJ. By this particular example of your expression you demonstrate you have progressed miles. A huge inspiration.

238. Beautiful LJ, what I found a beautiful combination in your writing – strength and humbleness at the same time. I love how you stop using protection, as you had used for so long in life, but have now opened yourself up to stay yourself. Which I can feel is very powerful and straight (if I so read what you share etc.). This is a beautiful pure quality, if people can not deal with that, that is there issue. Always stay true to what you feel is true – Great growth, thumps up!

239. The changes in your expression shine through in the article. It is pleasure and honour to share with you. I can feel this increasing openness and delicateness in how you are beginning to express. Amazing. I can relate to a family that ‘talks’ alot, and yes swears. I know for one that I was very protective and hard, although I could talk and talk and talk. The saying and writing of words is very different from living them and expressing them with love.

240. The changes in your expression shine through in the article. It is pleasure and honour to share with you. I can feel this increasing openness and delciatness in how you are beginning to express. Amazing. I can relate to a family that ‘talks’ alot, and yes swears. I know for one that I was very protective and hard, although I could talk and talk and talk. The Saying and writing of words is very different from living them and expressing them with love.

241. I totally understand what you mean LJ when you say that you may talk a lot but it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re truly expressing. It’s really great that you are giving yourself permission now to open up and let yourself be seen.

     1. Yes Fiona, they are two very different things. One is a cover up, the other is true.

     2. I was very shy as a child and as a teenager came out of this and became very chatty, but it was a coverup for the confidence and self worth I lacked then. Now I find if I go into the chitty chat with another and don’t truly express, I feel tired and don’t remember what we’ve talked about.

        1. Yes, the chatty chat can become more of a ‘filler’ which in truth leaves us feeling empty…and tired. Spaces and pauses can sometimes feel awkward, although these days I love them as a time to reflect and digest what is being communicated.

242. This is gold LJ. So many people have lots of problems expressing their truths. I am forever learning to be with me and express. Because when I’m not expressing being connected with me, I feel also very scared. It’s like I’m doing everything to protect myself to the reaction, aggression or anything not loving that MIGHT come from the other party. I can feel how I’m learning to find the safety and permission to express from me with feeling absolute joy and love. Firstly for myself. Somewhere along the ‘road’, I’ve disconnected from it.

243. Lj what a story you have shared. Your expression is strong in that I felt every word you said – from you body, so you certainly don’t have an expression problem speaking from your body. I can relate though to struggling in getting the words out and articulating what it is I want to say without the fear of saying something that will upset others. I remember in high school how traumatic it was expressing to the principle the abuse I had received from a teacher, where my whole chest and neck broke out into a rash. I was terrified that I had done something wrong… These past couple of years listening to Serge Benhayon speak about ‘Expression is Everything’ I have come to value my voice, how I feel, my own self worth and the responsibility we have to speak up and express what is there to be said, with love.

     1. I love that Donna, – “the responsibility we have to speak up and express what is there to be said, with love.” and it is a responsibility, because the person that you are expressing to, and yourself might just need that expression to evolve and grow. It may strike a chord and change something for them and for us. Its our responsibility to not hold that back.

244. Wow, LJ, you definitely don’t have a problem with expression – what you expressed in this blog was awesome! I have also found after years of holding back true expression I am often uncertain of myself when I speak – I lack the confidence to know that what I have to say is what is needed, no matter how the other person reacts. I am learning that this takes time and practice and I can appreciate when I get it right and reflect on what went wrong when it does. As Serge Benhayon shares, “Expression is everything” – it is everything we say, everything we write, every movement and everything we do. You have amazing expression!

245. LJ your blog is so raw and honest – thankyou for opening up your expression to share this story – how wonderful for you and the rest of the world that you are now learning about true expression from deep within –

246. LJ you expressed yourself beautifully in your blog. It’s better to try expressing and learn from your experiences than to suppress them.

247. That is Amazing to hear how you feel you are able to express more of you, even if sometimes it does feel a bit uncertain. I think you have shared something really important here that breaks the illusion to do with expression. Expression doesn’t just mean being able to speak (yes that helps) but as you say we can be cocky and chat to everyone we meet but this can just be superficial and even used as a cover up to allow others to see who we truly are and what we truly feel. You are not the only one that finds expressing this way difficult!!! But its great to hear this is getting easier for you 💕

     1. Beautifully said Vicky and from my experience, LJ is definitely ‘not the only one that finds expressing this way difficult.’

248. Isn’t it interesting how for so many people in the world, swearing/yelling/being loud is what they do to express themselves in almost every sentence or conversation because it is the only way they feel they will be heard by others. I love what you have shared about finding true expression LJ, and ‘putting aside protection’ and your barriers of hardness. I also thought it was important what you shared about how just because you can be Miss-chatterbox, doesn’t mean you truly express how you feel inside. Many are masters of small talk and engaging in conversation, but do not truly feel confident talking about the real, below the surface stuff.

     1. Spot on Susie – you covered so many aspects of JL’s blog that resonated with me and I feel sure it would be equally so for many others.

     2. Very true Susie, much of the world is based on surface stuff.

     3. ‘Many are masters of small talk and engaging in conversation, but do not truly feel confident talking about the real, below the surface stuff.’ I really love what you say here Susie, as this on the surface apparent ‘mastery’ disguises the hurt and inability to truly express in some cases.

     4. I know Susie – and more so – when has yelling swearing or abusing someone ever facilitated the person you are communicating with being open and understanding of what you are trying to say!

     5. I love this point also Susie, just because we may be very vocal doesn’t necessarily mean we are truly expressing. It bought back a memory when I was growing up. In my family we were given nick names, and one of my sisters was called ‘have a chat’ because she was always chatting. I remember asking my mum when young, ‘how can she think of so much to say?’ I was very different, quieter and more reflective–’ the thinker’. At the time I remember thinking I hadn’t been blessed with the gift of the gab, but in truth I was feeling everything and wanting to connect at a deeper level.

        1. I experience something similar Victoria – when I’m in large groups of people I am not necessarily close friends with or know very well, I tend not to say heaps as I like to observe and feel the situation rather than just jump into the social heap at the deep end. However, people who know me personally can testify that I’m actually quite a talkative/chatty person, and this evidences how impossible it is to judge expression by how ‘chatty’ you come across in a single moment.

     6. Well said Susie Williams, many use small talk and swearing as a distraction to mask their own insecurities and resistance of going deeper in their expression and are happy in friendships and relationships which are more arrangements than true expressions of the love within them.

        1. Absolutely Francisco; I see that behaviour a lot with teenagers my age – they use a lot of swearing and vulgar language to mask their feelings and appear ‘hard’ or ‘tough’, when really many are feeling sad, hurt, depressed etc.

     7. Absolutely Susie, and seeing expression is everything what is happening to people in other areas of their life. How is our walk, movements, play, writing, work, relaxing etc I know I was lost in all areas of my life. For me there was no true expression in any area of my life before the presentations by Serge Benhayon. So to express in everything I do the feeling of love, joy and harmony is what I now bring to my day. To the best of my ability what I now do in every aspect of my life is to ‘truly express how I feel inside.’!

        1. Expressing our true feelings with others can be a wonderfully freeing experience. It actually takes a lot of effort and energy to hold back from being ourselves and sharing with the world what that really looks like. Constantly putting up and amending a facade is like a whole other career; we create our own job which takes up a lot of time, to master the ways of appearing fine or ‘functional’ on the outside without showing our true feelings.

249. Clearly LJ you have come a long way with your expression which can be felt in what you have written here in this blog. Thank you for sharing your story and inspiring others too that they can move towards a greater expression of truth and of who they really are.

250. We are all deeply sensitive beings although we may not always be expressing with the quality of sensitivity. So many expressions come from our reactions and trying to protect ourselves, all the abuse, the bravado, the swearing, the harshness and the hiding come from our protection of hurts.
     It is true we are expressing all of the time, and what is not expressed is also communicating. Our true expression comes from the love we are and is powerful in its truth. This full expression supports us all to evolve.

     1. So true Victoria. Thank you for the very powerful reminder that ‘It is true we are expressing all of the time, and what is not expressed is also communicating…………..”

     2. Beautifully said Victoria. We can express from reaction and hurt and be very right in what we are saying. However, truth cannot be expressed from this place. When expressing from love the words may be very similar but the quality is entirely different. Truth is not just about the words but it is the quality it is spoken in and this makes the truth undeniable.

        1. Yes the quality in our expression speaks volumes I agree. The tone, the volume the subtlety, the speed etc, all of it can be felt and is communicating. This is something I have become very aware of in my own vocal expression and also in that of others.

        2. I am learning more and more that the words we speak are but a small part of what we express and that they express a smaller part that what our bodies and energy is expressing.

     3. Victoria I love your comment, and it is powerful when we know that the more we express from our bodies in full the more we evolve and evolve others around us equally. This is something to contemplate and feel as the level of responsibility we all have is huge.

        1. yes Francisco, we do have a responsibility, as our choices do not only affect us but all of us.

     4. Absolutely Victoria, what you have shared here is gold!

251. Thank you LJ for sharing yourself with us so openly,honestly and beautifully. How you chose to step out of the cycle of abuse to overcome the fear of expressing, choosing love over protection by facing and healing your hurts is absolutely inspirational. For many years I too held back my expression for fear of what other may think (that I am foolish) or how they may respond (reject me). It is so crazy really as all those years I never truly let people in. I did not trust them because I did not trust myself and what I was feeling. I had lost the sense of who I was and felt the best way to be loved and accepted was to generally play it safe until I really got to know you and felt safe enough to let you in. What you have shared here is so powerful – ‘I have made choices to step out of this cycle, choosing to feel and express those feelings; to set aside the protection, be vulnerable, allow myself to be seen as fragile and delicate and to break down the control, the hardness and ALLOW in love.’ I too have since learned that it is through accepting the Love we are first that we can re-build the trust within ourselves, to then choose to freely express that Love that we know we are, and we all are. Thank you for writing about this LJ as it will inspire and support many, myself included.

     1. Beautifully said and appreciated Carola. I can totally relate to ‘playing it safe’ and holding back my expression for fear of what others may think. All this did was to keep me ‘playing small’ and a far cry from all that I am!

252. I can relate to the trembling voice. As a secondary school teacher my voice never trembled in the class room, but if I was to speak at a staff meeting or asked a question in a professional development workshop I would lack the trust in myself to get my response ‘right’ and my voice would quiver. Your story is one that is relatable to so many and based on what I observe and often react to, many young students today use language as a way to harden themselves to those around them and to ‘act tough’. Swearing is quite the norm for teenagers now and many say those swear words are always spoken in the home and it is now just ‘habit’ to speak that way. It is inspiring to see that you chose to change how you spoke and to feel into the truth that ‘expression is everything’.

     1. Tracy what you share is very powerful. Your students are blessed to have your reflection and understanding of experiencing that expression actually means something beyond the tough swear words.

     2. I have always been ok in expressing in one on one situation so much so that my friends could have found it hard to realise I had a problem with expression. But what I was expressing in a group was another thing and I found it very hard to stay with myself. I remember the first time I shared on the microphone at an event. I was so anxious I could no longer hear anything and my vision went blurry. I have no idea what I shared, even the moment after I couldn’t remember but I simply knew I had t0 say what I had to say. Since then the anxiety when speaking in public and in large groups has slowly been lessening. 2 years later I can now share on the mike with very minimal anxiety.

        1. It’s awesome that your expression has evolved from feelings of anxiousness to now minimal anxiety. Every step forward is something to be celebrated.

        2. Yes, it is important to celebrate each step and that steps are being taken.

        3. Absolutely! If we don’t stop and celebrate along the way and acknowledge how far we’ve come we diminish the loving path that is being walked.

     3. Wow that’s a great thing to share Tracy Aisbett. How different our voice can be in different situations. How we feel confident in some situations where we think we have control but lack the confidence others.

        1. It used to fascinate me Simon. I would question myself and ask, ‘ why could I get up in front of 30 students and easily present a new project and teach a bunch of teenagers yet I found it difficult in other areas to express’?…and karaoke, well, that will have to be another life (ha ha) cause that would simply never happen. I’ve found the courses over the years with Universal Medicine and the expression workshops have really allowed me to develop more trust within myself and for others to express openly. It really is so freeing and empowering to not hold back our expression.

     4. This is so true Tracey Aisbett. As a teenager I went through a stage that I too used to swear a lot and I was using it as a form of defence to protect myself from the bullying that I was experiencing at school. It allowed me to harden and not feel the pain and feel I could manage the situation.

253. LJ expressing your experience so far has bought me a deep level of appreciation for the return journey we can all choose to take. You have been very candid and courageous to break these patterns and claim your magnificence. This is very inspirational LJ.

254. LJ, this blog is so familiar to me as it feels like I could have written it myself! Your words and your expression really exposed the fact that the way we express or not can be so based around our sense of worth. I really got to feel how expressing no matter what the response or reaction, is so needed. And even if there is a reaction it feels so important to express that too. I too am a work in progress, but I am inspired by people like you and Serge Benhayon who show us all that expression really is everything.

255. LJ the distinction you make between chatting and truly expressing is a valuable one.I had a similar realisation when told in an esoteric healing session that I had a problem with sharing myself with others. Initially I tried to convince the practitioner that she was wrong as I was a person who shared what I thought to be quite personal stuff with others but then it dawned on me that the things that I shared were pre rehearsed personal topics that had not an ounce of true intimacy in them what so ever. I had the further revelation that the reason why I didn’t share what was really going on with others was because I didn’t share that with myself.

256. I can really relate to this; I am slowly learning not to personalise what others say in response or reaction to me. This is where we get asked to just express and to hold us without any expectations. This is the point where so much can ripple out, without attachment to any outcome. Once we have felt truth and expressed it out, that is all we have to do.

257. I was a bit mesmerized reading your blog because this is a topic that people rarely discuss, or if they do, it is rare that truth is actually brought into the equation. Expressing ourselves is a private battle for so many and we hide behind the facade that we are a’chatterbox’ or ‘quiet and reserved’ etc….. Thank you for exposing what goes behind for people and for having the courage to start expressing what is true for you.

258. Every word shared in this blog is a healing gift to the world LJ. Your expression here is everything that is true and the false images that are being smashed as you write will never hold any space in your life as a ‘Truth’. Welcome to the world of true expression and the release that has come with this for yourself and for many others who have lived in a self-imposed prison of hardened protection. Your sensitivity and connection to ‘You’ is now bringing love, light and healing to others – thank you for breaking through the barriers that were once keeping you separate from what is true.

259. There is a lot to take in from this blog – a kind of overwhelm at the horrific events that happened in the life of LJ, and the possibility that there could be a life beyond and outside of such violence.

260. This blog in itself shows how much courage you have had to allow yourself to express again and deal with the old traumas and hurts which may get triggered along the way.

261. LJ you have laid yourself bare with your expression, glorious, glorious you.

262. Thank you L.J. for sharing what true expression is. We can feel the quality of expression and know what is true or not. It can be easy to fill a space with words without truly expressing, without connecting to what it is that we are feeling and expressing this. Expression is everything.

263. A great expression Lj, and I am impressed with your forensic work and evolution in progress in a definite process of self mastery and evolution. It’s funny how so many of us talk and communicate but don’t truly express, hence so much swearing and small talk that goes on.

264. LJ, you certainly have expressed yourself beautifully here, what an amazing sharing you have given, thank you. As I read your great blog, I felt such a huge welling up of love for you, you have at last expressed your great fragility, your great sensitivity that is down there underneath all the layers of protection that you laid over those features. It is absolutely awesome that you found the enormous courage to expose yourself like that. The beautiful butterfly is emerging from the cocoon that it built so long ago to protect itself. I love you to bits for your sharing, and feel since writing this blog and exposing so much of how you feel, you will now be going from strength to strength, living the beautiful fragile, sensitive being that you truly are.

265. Thank you for sharing LJ there is a lot in this blog, especially about family dynamics and ingrained patterns, we react to each other with very little understanding, abuse follows and is sadly accepted. As you have shared LJ it does not have to be this way. If we do not take it personally we can understand that the other person is reacting from hurt and we can say no to abuse in a loving way that diffuses the reaction and opens up an atmosphere for honesty.

266. LJ – you are fantastic – this blog is something that I’m confident people everywhere can relate to in some shape or form. Holding back for fear of the reactions of others is a big one for me. However I am realising that it’s actually abusive to me to do this – and there are repercussions inside of me. It is also abusive towards others as I have capped their opportunity for development by not being honest with them. The more I am simply claiming my expression and allowing it to flow, the less reaction I get from others and often I find our relationship grows. If not, then I am getting much better at not justifying or blaming myself and going into analysis of why and what I said. The more my confidence grows in expression, the more I am able to step back, let go of ‘control’ and allow things to unfold at their own pace and in their own way. I am also recognising that there is a much grander plan in play than I could ever previously have imagined and we all have a part to play.

267. It is truly horrible the way human beings treat each other, and truly horrible to witness the way such behaviour affects every single one of us. Recently I have been reading about the cyber abuse received by two famous feminist figures – Zoe Quinn and Anita Sarkeesian – both of whom received constant intimidation on the internet because they had chosen to stand up and express what they felt to be true. This issue of violence as a way to intimidate others into submission occurs on both a global scale, and behind the closed doors of private homes every day, and its sole purpose is to stop people from expressing the truth – simple. It is a tragedy that someone such as yourself can have to waste so many years healing so that you once again feel strong enough to express how you truly feel – which is the God given right of every human being.

268. LJ what a great article likewise it’s so easy to consider that because we chat we express but the truth is far from that, I know I would talk lots but there was no true and deep expression there. Having myself started to deepen what I understand expression to be through the support of Universal Medicine I can say that I had no true expression before but how powerful true expression actually is. A deeply inspiring article, thank you.

269. An open and honestly expressed article. Being willing to take responsibility in developing your own true expression is a huge change and as you get to know yourself better by doing this everyone else gets the benefit also – stepping out of the shadows and into the light, beautiful LJ.

270. Thank you so much LJ for writing this blog. I get a feeling it took quite a bit to be able to put this out there and I wanted to appreciate the grandness of that. That is truly magnificent expression in itself and I have no doubt will be a great healing as you realise how many people you support simply by starting the conversation. Thank you once again.

271. Wow! A great blog LJ, it is so honest and inspiring. I too am learning to express, so I can totally relate to how hurtful it feels to hold back expressing truth and how we feel. What happens is the more we allow ourselves to speak up and express the more powerful we feel because the power we hold within is so enormous that it takes a lot to contain it and hold it back. To finally learn to express and allow our power to shine is one of the most amazing feelings. So, well done for venturing out to express the amazing being that you are.

272. Lj, you are living proof that life can change for us should we choose to make those changes – and the choices you have made to bring more true expression into your life have clearly ‘paid off’. Expression really is everything – the more we hold back or play roles or become characters at the expense of who we really are, then the more the true expression gets buried under all the other stuff and the harder it can feel sometimes to let it out, but the more we practice, the easier it becomes. Like you Lj, I can relate the to redness, the feeling of needing to choke out the words when I first started expressing how I felt. Thank goodness over the years the commitment to learning to express has stayed with me and though I still get moments where I feel that comes in to interfere, I am far far better with sharing my feelings today than ever before.

273. LJ, you have shed light on the fact that the most loquacious person can have a huge problem with expression. Lots of stuff pouring out of ours mouths is not the same as expressing in full and can be the opposite.
     I had the same issue.

274. What comes through in you blog LJ is your sensitivity, wisdom and clarity. Sure you drank and acted out…but never could you hide the fact that your eyes see naught but truth and that all you need do is heal your ability to release what you see and know through words. These writings are part of that process of healing.

275. Thankyou for sharing your experience Lj. It is soooo inspiring and courageous as others have commented. For you to step out of the back room and write this must have taken some doing. I can also relate to how you feel about speaking up or asking questions when in a group, but as you say so beatuifully ‘ I am slowly learning not to personalise what others say in response or reaction to me.’ Wonderful, and how inspiring this would be for so many to read.

276. As a teenager I experienced a lot of mental bullying, every question that was asked in class or contributions that were made, were judged and categorized by fellow students whether that was an intelligent and worthy question/contribution or not – it was practiced like a sport by a few people and eventually lead to everybody shutting up. Obviously everybody missed out as questions and contributions are what makes lessons interesting and alive.

     1. Living life without judgement is very liberating too. The less judgement I have in my life, the more joy I feel in my relationships with others. When it seems we are being judgemental of others, we are in truth cutting our world up into parts and ‘cutting’ ourselves off from them at the same time. So yes Judith, I agree, it is a form of mental bullying and it acts to suppress expression – making all of life less in its wake.

277. LJ, thank you for writing this blog. What a powerful story of true courage to allow yourself to be so open and vulnerable in the face of such hardness and protection. A very beautiful and heart warming read. Thank you.

278. I had very much withdrawn from life and did not really speak up much unless I felt safe, whenever I felt safe I could be very loud and domineering in a conversation, and being very opinionated. It was two extremes, holding back and then it all came out of me with a force like if a sluice was opened. Today I am re-learning to express myself in full and that my voice and what I feel counts, and in fact is very valued and needed as my expression is adding to the whole in a very unique way.

279. Compared to your negative experiences with your family my experiences are just minor but nevertheless I can very much relate to your ‘symptoms’ of not being able to express. It obviously doesn´t take much to hurt the trust into our expression. To let go of the reasons or story of why it is so hard to express is key to finally set ourselves free from holding back. The past only owns us when we hold on to it.

     1. ‘The past only owns us when we hold on to it’ – true wisdom Alex, thank you.

280. This is great that someone is talking about this issue and opening up the conversation to what true expression is and that is it not just talking as it is about expressing all we truly are in full. Interesting how we can then be holding back our expression even if we are talking a lot as we are not expressing who we are and allowing to world to see US and all our truth and love. We can hide behind words but it is like being behind the walls of a prison if we are feeling capped from truly expressing.

281. Thank you LJ for sharing your beautiful expression with us. Your experiences and willingness to step out of the confinement you have held yourself in is inspiring and makes me reflect how many of us chose to shut down our natural expression to play safe to avoid stirring the comfort of others.

282. Your expression here LJ reminds me of being a kid and how we naturally can speak about how we feel the world. Its this that brings the beauty of expression through not the two extremes of augmentative imposition or meek submission.

283. Wow LJ it’s no surprise that you would have trouble expressing how you feel after such experiences. But the marked difference here is the fact you’re not blaming the situations around you for what’s happening internally, but that you had a part to play in it in such a way that all that blame hasn’t then been shifted onto yourself but in a way that claims that you are in the drivers seat to change it all. Thank you.

284. Your experience very clearly shows that it is hard to have full expression when we are in expectation of any reaction, especially a negative response as it takes us away from feeling ourselves and feeling confident. Full expression comes from fully accepting oneself no matter what the world will do.

285. LJ, I can very much relate to what you have written here, ‘I have made and am still making choices to step out from the back of the room, allow myself to be seen, allow myself to speak, allow myself to be heard’, and actually when I do it feels amazing, I have become aware that I went through stages in my life, I was naturally expressive when I was younger but this got me in trouble with my family and so I withdrew and shut down. I am now learning after many years to speak up again and when I speak truth it feels like this is the true me, holding myself and being ‘shy’ is not me. I can now speak in smaller groups and actually enjoy this now, I am still daunted by speaking in larger groups but am feeling to step forward and not doubt that what I have to stay is of importance.

286. LJ I love your honesty, saying it how it is and not pretending to be otherwise. Clearly you can’t be too ‘off’ with your expression as this blog could not have materialised if you had. I too am a work in progress when it comes to expression as I have held back my whole life from speaking truth. l am learning to express with greater fullness and can say how expansive it feels when I do. When I hold back I can feel my whole body going into tension and constriction. I am understanding that holding back serves no one, not even myself.

287. LJ you are not alone. Many of us have allowed an incident, be it physical attack, rejection, accusation, hurt to govern our lives going forward. The good news is that it is never too late to heal the hurts, re-claim ourselves and our expression in the way you are now doing. Thank you for sharing with the world your feelings of uncertainty, fear and vulnerability, we all learn from this. For all of us life is forever unfolding and is a work in progress.

288. I LOVE it LJ. Keep expressing. What a very raw and honest blog; awesome!

289. Such an important ingredient: “I am slowly learning not to personalize what others say in response or reaction to me.” Allow yourself to do a reading on where another is energetically supports the personalizing to go. With observing and reading we allow ourselves the space for love and evolution.

290. This is truly amazing, there are so many things that affect our freedom of expression. And to let go and feel that all is there to be expressed, not holding back is a wonderful experience as it will never make ourself feel less, it fully confirms who we are.

291. That is one amazing blog about your life till you met Serge Benhayon, LJ, so vividly describing the force of the energy operating through your family and friends that can be tangibly felt. The fact that I can now read it without subjecting myself to the same hurts by sympathising and identifying with them, is one of the many things I have learned from Serge. Your very honest appraisal of where you are now with your ability to express what you feel to others is very welcome. I love the fact you say you are a work in progress, and that is true for us all as we deepen our powers of loving expression, (the meaning of the “loving” being mostly an alien concept to the world), and continue to evolve in our true connection to each other and all around us. There is no ending, only continual evolution, all we need to do is accept where we are at, and where we are going next by the kind of continuing self observation and new choices you are creating for yourself and everyone else.

292. What a beautiful touching blog you wrote here. I can really feel you in all that you shared. Your expression is amazing and I can feel it is actually naturally your strength. Something just got created that you stopped expressing how you actually can. Beautiful, you came out of the closet 😊

293. ‘I am a work in progress, and inspired every day by an amazing man, Serge Benhayon that I met about eight years ago, who keeps saying… “Expression is everything”.’ Lj, I love the way you sign off and you are so right, Serge Benahyon does indeed keep saying expression is everything and yet there is still so much I hold back. Thank you for reminding me no to hold back.

294. LJ, your willingness to be brutally honest and fragile in writing about your challenges with expression is really inspiring. It’s the down-to-earth type writing that everyone can relate to, whether they have ever had a course with Universal Medicine or not. The fact that you were able to share your story in that way proves your True expression comes quite naturally, I feel.

295. Lj what you have shared here in your blog is huge. I can relate to much of what you have written, not the extremes or violence but the shutting down of my expression. I had not realised how much I feared expressing because of the reactions I may get and it feels huge to tentatively address and reading your blog has allowed me to feel how much it hurts to close off my expression and not to live and say what I feel. Thank you for your candid blog I will definitely be back to read it again.

296. LJ I love this blog, thank you for the honesty you’ve shared this with. I agree with ginadunlop… your expression is so real, it is a breath of fresh air.

297. “…set aside the protection, be vulnerable, allow myself to be seen as fragile and delicate and to break down the control, the hardness and ALLOW in love….” All this I have found has helped my ability to express enormously. There is no end to how vulnerable, fragile, and allowing I can be I have found, and so I can expect my expression to continue to expand. Yay!

298. Thank you for sharing your experience with expression and how you were affected by others and that this influenced how you spoke. Much of what you share here I can relate with.
     Learning that expression is actually an experience that can be felt in full with my whole body has been revolutionary for me. The sense of steadiness and trust in what I have to say has forever changed how I respond and be when I am with other people.

299. It feels amazing to read your blog sharing your redevelopment of your expression as Gina says it gives permission for the reader to go there too. Deeply inspiring and leading others to bring honesty and truth in expression.

300. Thanyou LJ for this inspiring story, told with honesty and tenderness. It’s provided me with much food for thought.

301. From reading this I have a deeper understanding of what true expression is. It is not simply about talking or writing etc… but about fully sharing all of who you are.

302. What I find inspiring LJ is that you are committed to developing true expression despite the discomfort that is there from the momentum of not having expressed from the true you for so long. It takes courage to do be prepared to do what you’re doing.

303. Oh my, this is a truly amazing, deeply honest and wonderfully inspiring blog Lj. Thank you for sharing.

304. LJ I understand how hard it can be to break an ingrained pattern of hiding and lack of expression and I applaud your dedication to break through this and express from the real you. Keep it coming.

305. LJ this here is true expression. Thank you for sharing yourself with the world, it is much needed and deeply appreciated.

306. My family rarely said how they felt, even more rarely actually spoke of issues as they arose and have continued to sweep them under the carpet. I have enormous gratitude for being supported to learn the skills of speaking about issues as they arise and how to let them go. And how to support myself to become clear on what has come up so that I can go back to a person and talk about something, if that is needed. Not always easy to do, but something I am learning.

307. Very cool LJ, I love the way you write. I could relate to your experiences causing you to toughen and hold back your true expression. I wasn’t king hit, but I was hit in the head and knocked off my swing with a cricket ball by my brother! I’m not sure if he was trying to silence me in that moment, but there were plenty of other moments where words had the same effect.

     I get the same wobbly voice, my heart pounds wildly in my chest even with the thought of speaking up in a group of any size unless that protection is there, and even then the reaction still happens in my body. People perceive me as arrogant and yet this is not the person I know myself to be? It is hard to see myself as they see me, but it is worthy of continually letting myself open up, let people in and let the warmth that I am radiate from me. I am also a work in progress, learning to express with my authority and my warmth, at the same time.

308. Thank you LJ. I feel how courageous it was for you to honour what you felt and made a decision to step out of the cycle of abuse that you were in. This then reflects to others that it can be done and this is hugely supportive for All.

309. Expression is not something I have ever had an issue with – as a child I was labelled ‘The Mighty Atom’ because I was small but made a lot of noise. Now I am learning that talking for me was a way of controlling situations so I didn’t feel what was truly going on. Learning to stop and feel and express what I feel is still a work in progress, but I am slowly taking the hard edge from my voice and allowing more stillness, more silence, more space for true expression.

310. LJ, I love the realness of this blog and how you share that talking is not necessarily true expression … not expressing the real you. But it was this sentence that stopped me in my tracks … “I have encouraged myself to take up space”. Gosh, to take up space. To love myself so much and be OK to take up space. You are inspiring.

311. LJ, this is a powerful and deeply touching article to read in its raw honesty. You are a true inspiration – the way you are choosing to make such profound changes in your life and bring a halt to the abuse. A living testimony to the changes that are possible from attending presentations by Serge Benhayon and bringing yourself back to Love and harmony in your life.
     With deep appreciation for you and your sharing here. Thank you!

312. Thank yo LJ and you are certainly expressing with the amount you are saying here and sharing. I love how you are taking Responsibility for the choices you made in the past and I can feel there is no blame towards anyone.
     Your blog is so valuable for us to read as it is true and we cannot pretend that only some things are expression – it all is. As Serge Benhayon has been teaching EVERYTHING IS EXPRESSION and what I have come to understand is that means not only in when I speak or write but also in the way I live day in and day out.
     It is the quality of Expression that is important and where I am at today I can honestly say I do not have a problem with expressing and those who know me would agree.
     When it comes to speaking my Truth, I really do not know how to hold back. It does not bother me if I am not liked, talked about behind my back or attacked back with hurtful words, it simply will not stop me. I am just not afraid of anything or anyone and it is no longer an option to not express my Truth.
     Thank God for Serge Benhayon who presented a workshop 5 years ago giving me permission that day to be the real me.

313. I am a work in progress, I love that, and you know what, you are not only a work in progress but a very inspirational, loving, beautiful and caring one.

314. Great blog LJ. You say you struggle with expression, well I disagree this blog is a GREAT EXPRESSION from you.

315. You have expressed yourself beautifully in this bog LJ, and shared a lot that I and many I daresay can relate to. Its funny how we can be chatting away all day, but not really share who we are with anyone. Thank you for sharing yourself with us. I too am working on my expression and daring to speak up and be heard. Its not easy when I have spent a lifetime of hiding away, but one step at a time, its feeling great.

316. Good for you, putting your hand up and giving it a go, that is a major step in allowing yourself to express. Even if it comes out wrong sometimes at least you are not holding back, you are developing a deeper understanding and acceptance of your sensitivity and the opportunity for learning is magnified. I am sure there are many who can relate to what you have shared.

317. I found one of the best ways to deal with not being able to express is to start with simple words “this hurts”, for example – to say what is there with no expectation of being understood. What a beautiful, courageous blog.

     1. So true Christoph – the simplest beginnings can open up the floodgates of expression! So, jokingly I say: be warned as then it all begins to flow!

     2. I so agree Christoph what LJ writes is courageous, beautiful and such an awesome example of expressing without holding back.

     3. Thank you Christoph – I love the simplicity yet power of your Wisdom.

     4. I love this Christoph – ‘to say what is there with no expectation of being understood’ – as to express what is there is to trust that the truth we feel is the Love we all share and are a part of.

     5. A simple and lovely way to express Christoph! Just expressing ‘this hurts’ is always enough when we are learning to express and I too love LJ’s courage and ‘real’ expression.

     6. Expression can be so simple, but when we are hurt it is difficult or emotional, so to develop the vulnerability to just say simply ‘ I feel hurt’ is a way to stay simple without expectation. I know the challenge of coming out of the protection of the being hurt cave, and to start to understand the fact of having been so withdrawn or nice and to understand how harming this is for myself and others.

     7. Beautiful Christoph. To keep it simple is always a good way.

     8. I agree Christophe. Often we will hold back from saying how we feel at the time because we cannot find all the words to describe it
        However, if we just begin with a word or two…. just a break in the moment to offer our own expression…then we have begun….

318. It’s interesting how expression can be misinterpreted as just being social and talking a lot. I used to think that was expression, and didn’t realise the depths I could take my expression too. But as I have started to value who I am and be more aware of how I do have a voice, I have allowed my expression to change hugely – not just in my voice, but in every movement.

319. This is truly compelling reading LJ. You reveal your fragility and openness to expressing the love that you are despite the violent reactions from others, which I find incredibly inspiring as I am sure all who read this blog will. Beautiful, beautiful. Thank you.

320. By the expression of what you have shared so honestly with us LJ, I can feel you have stripped yourself bare, so to speak, and in the process have given yourself nothing to hide behind and as a result a powerful healing has taken place. The vulnerability and fragility that comes through your writing offers the reader the opportunity to know that it is ok to feel like this; in fact it is more than ok, it is the most wonderfully healing step you could possibly have taken.

321. LJ this is such a wonderfully honest blog of which I can totally relate, when I was a drinker I could falsely express and deal with party situations and people, I was even a singer in a band and used to have a few drinks to be able to go on stage,but after stopping drinking many years ago I struggle with a crippling shyness and absolutely hate having to speak in front of people. So thanks for writing this it was a definitely helpful for me.

     1. kevmchardy what you and LJ have highlighted here is that when we drink alcohol we are not ourselves, our behaviour takes on a separate personality to who we are.

322. Great sharing LJ. I am also finding my way with true expression, which doesn’t mean blurting stuff out in reaction or needing to correct people all the time. It can be tricky sometimes. What is helping me a lot is remembering that if there is a truth to be spoken then I am not doing it for me – it is a truth that has already existed before I was even born and therefore I am only the vessel that is expressing it. Not everything I say is from that truth, although sometimes I am convinced it is and that in itself is a great learning, which also I am not getting to serve myself. Looking at the world, there is an urgency to get out of the way. If as Serge Benhayon says – expression is everything – it is the everything that we have to express from.

323. I love how you have expressed in this blog, LJ-so open and vulnerable at times. I can relate to taking things being said very personally but I too am beginning to accept the learning from these comments.

324. Even though my experiences of expression have been very different in a way LJ I can so relate to what you are sharing here. There was no violence or swearing in my family but all the same, I felt it was unsafe to express myself and became withdrawn and depressed as a result. At one time I believed that a drink or two helped me open up more, but I know now that wasn’t any true level of self-expression. Learning to truly express what I feel has been a real revelation in my life. It is the one thing that has really worked in terms of changing how I feel and whilst like you it is a work in progress, it is a joy-full experience – inspired as you have been by Serge Benhayon, as well as Simone Benhayon and Chris James. Thank you for your deeply honest sharing.

325. I love how real this blog is in its expression and there is much that I can relate to especially around being able to ‘chat’ a lot. And am able to listen to how others are feeling and what is going on for them but quite often when having to express how I feel this is often more difficult. There are always many reasons not to say something but as expression is everything and the key in life to true relationships, not expressing becomes a very uncomfortable feeling in the body. – Thank you, L.J. for your honesty and inspiration.

326. I totally know this one! So easy to talk a load of surface rubbish to anyone and everyone with no genuine connection what so ever but when expressing my actual true feelings, it can be such a vulnerable moment and one where I’m not sure if people will like or accept what I’ve got to say. And this is where learning to not take things so personally has really helped me. My feelings are my feelings, they don’t have to be right or wrong, they just have to be true. It doesn’t matter whether anyone else feels the same AND admits it openly like I’m choosing to in that moment. Often I find when saying something true for me, I feel it rings true for others that are not necessarily ready to express that truth for themselves, so in front of others perhaps they will be crippled and will disagree with the truth I’m presenting. To begin with I shut down and took these disagreements personally and it felt like I was going backwards and retreating even further. But then I grew understand as really that’s where I’d come from too… It’s all a journey! The fact that others may be at the stage of feeling too frightened for whatever reason of speaking their truth, has absolutely nothing to do with me and is no reflection of the quality of our relationship either; it’s just where each of us is at on our journey of expression. Realising that has helped me lots as I’m now beginning to be able to express without having the need for others to accept what I’m saying and feel good about it. I’m also learning to express with the understanding that I have been where lots of others have been…

327. Hi LJ – you certainly had me nailed to your words all through the blog. Not many blogs I read do that, so your words do affect me, and in a good way. I can relate to what you say here. Usually when it’s my time to speak my heart starts to pound faster and stronger. Perhaps it’s because what I have to say is actually really important. Perhaps it’s because I haven’t expressed all that much before so the body trembles because I tremble and hesitate within myself.

     1. beautiful Matts, thats a lovely consideration, Ill ponder on it next time when its my turn to speak and it comes up. Ive found my heart also pumps harder and faster in these situations as well! Am I nervous about presenting the truth? have I already felt something that I haven’t clocked?

328. Expressing when we have not done so can be a hard thing to initiate. I can relate to the feelings that can arise when I go to speak in situations where, before I know it, I have defaulted into silence. What I am learning is that it is only by expressing in those times where it seems hard that I can break the pattern of silent defeat. Giving up is no longer an option, as giving up just creates misery and tension in my body. Whereas speaking up, or even holding my body in a more open way, unlocks my body, frees it from my self imposed prison. Thanks LJ for sharing your story and experiences, a work in progress is a great work indeed.

329. I think so many people can relate to this – thanks for sharing. So much of what we say or even do comes from just the repetition of things we have learnt a way to respond to. A kind of social conditioning of what we ‘think’ is the right way to respond. We even define ourselves by the choices we think we make in how we respond to conversations, idea, tastes in music and art and culture and politics. But how many of us are actually really prepared to consider and express what we really feel – or how many of us are even aware we are actually on a kind of auto pilot in the way we express each day?

     1. I like this simplesimon888. “how many of us are even aware we are actually on a kind of auto pilot in the way we express each day?” a huge wake up call, are we even aware of how we express ourselves during the day and are we connected with our feelings at all? Beautiful.

     2. Simon I relate to this. Even when we think we are not communicating or expressing, we are and we do so unconsciously. Our behaviours are exactly the same, the way we are expressing. I can see how most of the time I am on autopilot because that’s how I have taught myself how to get through in life.

330. Thankyou for your honesty LJ – a very authentic post. Only by actually expressing – and making mistakes – and learning from them – along the way – will we ever progress. ” I am slowly learning not to personalise what others say in response or reaction to me.” Me too.

331. This is very inspiring LJ, I can relate to having problems speaking up and I am sure there are many others who will read this and feel the benefit. Often it seems as though we can be in our own prison of holding back what we want to say, which leads to an enormous amount of tension within the body. I am finding the more I practise speaking up the easier it gets, but if I doubt then I am more likely to be hard on myself. Like you say this is a work in progress, but at least now I can feel how different my body feels when I speak up, and I am enjoying the times that I do and ask myself why didn’t I do this sooner.

332. To express truly who we are and how and what we feel is like a breeze of fresh air that gets out there and touches everybody to do the same. It brings lightness and joy and connects people and takes the denseness and seriousness out of having to communicate to “be someone” instead of just being ourselves.

333. LJ I love your honesty and realness. There are so many ways we can express, but how many of them are actually the true us? You are right, when we drop the chitchat and the things we use to stop us truly feeling, we are left with the rawness of the truth. Then what do we do with it? It takes practice to express our truth if we are not used to doing so.

334. I love how you describe the quality of our expression and that there are many forms to “express” by swearing or just talking, but that those are not true forms of expression as they are not communicating what we truly feel. They are like a cover up to not have to show our face. I have always been so called good in expression, but it all was a hardness and a push, criticism was big and judgement the main content. I never ever communicated what I felt, but what I felt needed to be said so I could stay in my safe spot and not be exposed. Today I express more and more myself and what I truly feel no matter if it sounds good or not. Truth has become the main reason for expression and not protection anymore.

335. ‘I have encouraged myself to take up space, to be the amazingly wonderful, kind and loving person that I am, that others know me to be and that I have always been.’
     And thank you LJ for taking up more and more space, your writing is very honest and open from where you come from and the process where you are in now. What an amazing transformation, only possible because you have taken responsibility and have accepted the innate love you are.

336. Beautiful LJ, fragile, delicate, honest and strong. This is expression in full.

337. It is refreshing to read something that is real and raw, a slice of life. I had spent most of my life at the other end of the spectrum by not expressing anything. The same end result as you though, there was never any real expression of who you or I was to anyone. Expressing is definitely a work in progress but a choice I am investing in.

338. wow!… Unbelievable blog LJ, what an experience you have had, but the way you write is absolutely awesome. You say it as it is, a strength and power that grabbed my attention to the very last word. We need your voice LJ if you write like you so can speak like this, and i am inspired and will be all ears listening to you!

     1. Yes I agree Johanne, LJ’s expression is needed in every way. In writing, speaking, moving and living.

339. I certainly like the way you expressed yourself in the blog, it came across very real.

340. ‘I genuinely am a people person, I like to talk to you… but I have an expression problem.’
     You could have written these words about me too, and I’m sure, many others.
     Just because we relate well to others and find talking easy, doesn’t mean that we actually let others ‘in’ and share how we are truly feeling. I was absolutely shocked when about 15 yrs ago a relation shared with me that she thought I was quite ‘cold’, I thought I was immensely loving and warm. It wasn’t until I became a student of The Way of the Livingness that I fully appreciated the truth in what she’d said. I was cold, I had so much protection around me, I didn’t let anyone in and if I felt someone was getting too close I would move away and keep myself aloof. I was popular, but all that really showed was that I allowed those around me to comfortably stay in their stuff, while I stayed in mine, I didn’t rock the boat. The thing is, the boat needs rocking, we’ve created quite a mess in this world of ours and it’s not going to change unless we change first. I recognise that being honest and true is the only way, in other words, simply by choosing to be myself in full and allowing myself to share what I’m feeling in full, all of the time.

     1. Love that Alison and equally can relate. I was called enigmatic!! Fancy word for aloof and keeping people out really. I too was shocked because I think I am an open book. It has been wonderful to see the difference letting people in and genuinely being an open book feels like. So much less energy is spent ‘keeping up appearances’!

     2. Your response Alison has encapsulated much of what is experienced by many others. I also loved what LJ stated – ‘‘I genuinely am a people person, I like to talk to you… but I have an expression problem.’ It can be very easy to just ‘have a chat’ and be the one others love having around but it’s for the wrong reasons. My choice to be the quiet, nice, and the caring one served the same purpose for me. I love what you have said about ‘rocking the boat’ as it does indeed need rocking – by strengthening our connection to who we truly are, pure Love and living reflections of the truth, our ‘footing’ in the rocking boat will be solid.

     3. Agree Alison, time to rock the boat of comfort that runs us and the planet into ruin.

341. Awesome expressed LJ! And I can relate to what you are sharing. I know the hiding and not speaking up (hearing that, all people around me would say, “are you kidding?”).
     I know the red rash rising by speaking up truth that may not be so welcomed by others.
     And I know the swearing or teasing relatives and the atmosphere of fight – where you have to assert yourself. I know it and agree: it is all a game to make sure and have an excuse to not express. It is a set up. What I realized one day is that in all this hiding, fighting and feeling ashamed or not accepted, not loved or whatever – it is all about me, me,me. Don’t get me wrong! I am great, worth and beautiful – it is a grace to have me on earth. But what I express has to serve everyone and not just safe my state of being and comfort. The moment I play safe I am lost. This world is not about me, it is about humanity. And I am a part of it. Not more. Not less. Taking my responsibility is to express what I am designed for and what is needed to be expressed right now: Love. To express Love it is essential to let go of my hurts or insecurities and become free to express again.
     Lovely to hear you are on your way LJ. I am with you.

     1. What a reminder Sandra that our expression is not just for us. It is Universal, and our voices, and written expressions are part of this great whole.

        1. Yes because we are belonging to the Universe. We are a part of it, but by not expressing who we are and original belonging too we create separation, disorder and harming. What we are so much searching & longing for is an unavoidable fact: We belong. We count. Our expression count.

        2. What I love about this is that you have revealed a secret that actually is no secret, just long ignored. We yearn to belong, to feel our part in something grand….but it is as though we want it to come to us. What if the true answer to this age old dilemma is in our expression, what we give to the world through our movement and gesture, though our voices (be they speaking or singing) and through our writings.
           What if it is what we give rise to from our essence that brings to us the unity, the oneness, the belonging and the sense of purpose that ignites life and fills it with joy?

     2. Wow, thank you Sandra, a great reminder, “what I express has to serve everyone” that is is not about staying safe because the moment we try to stay safe we are lost. This is a nugget of gold.

        1. Even the idea of ‘safe’ or ‘not safe’ is an illusion. We are with love, express love or we are not, what hurts. So there is no ‘safe’, just expressing love – or not.

     3. I love your comment Sandra, it is full of understanding and with that we can learn and grow. I love this quote as it is full of responsibility which is needed for true expression: “The moment I play safe I am lost. This world is not about me, it is about humanity.”

     4. I did not have any rash or such thing when I wanted to speak up the truth, but for me, my throat closed over and I felt very hot. I just croaked if I tried to speak and was just choked up and could not truly express what I felt. I still often have a dryness of the throat when I express what I want to share. I am still a work in progress. I too, Sandra, support LJ all the way, and so admire her willingness to share with us all how she feels, she is well on the way to a great healing. The butterfly is emerging.

        1. If we hold back expression because of an old hurt and/or some fears, we give our power away. What we say then is (as LJ noticed) a chatting, even if it is a strong, political (or such) discussion – it is holding back what we really have to say. Expression is letting it come through us and we all have to re-learn how that goes, how this butterfly will emerge again. A great start is to observe and nominate what is going on in me. And then…make the choice to express – let the butterfly fly…. 🙂

     5. What we express should serve everyone and not just to save our own state of being and hiding in comfort.

        1. Agree – if it does not serve the all it is no expression.

     6. “what I express has to serve everyone”… well said Sandra! I feel the power in it being about brotherhood now and not just for me.

     7. Sandra, I love how you have expanded here. “This world is not about me, it is about humanity. And I am a part of it. Not more. Not less. Taking my responsibility is to express what I am designed for” – beautifully said.

342. Thank you for expressing so clearly everything you are learning about expression. The physical blows and the emotional damage of lacing communication with swearing leave a lasting hurt in the body. When we to connect to the vulnerable and delicate true self and choose to be gentle in our expression of how we live the bruises gradually heal and we can be who we truly are.

343. What you have shared here is gold LJ. Instead of allowing circumstances in our life as reasons to hold us back, we simply need to observe and hold ourselves in our vulnerabilities and feel our fragility. Observing the feelings and not allowing them to make us feel less is some of the most powerful and life changing advice a person can come to receive.

     1. Agreed ginadunlop ~ ‘Observing the feelings and not allowing them to make us feel less is some of the most powerful and life changing advice a person can come to receive’

     2. “Observing the feelings and not allowing them to make us feel less…” This is gold ginadunlop. Too often when we feel our vulnerabilities we are made to feel less because of them. We then try to cover them up or create diversions away from them so that no one will see them. Embracing our vulnerabilities and working with them feels lovely. This is something that I am trying to do and it can be very confronting.

        1. Indeed it can be confronting Lee. Because sometimes we allow ourselves to be defined by the behaviour – we believe we are the behaviour. This used to be my pattern and it meant I never moved on; I was stuck in them. Now when I am confronted by something, experience has allowed me to trust that I just have to sit with it, observe it and allow it to be – seeing a practitioner sometimes to talk it through can also be really supportive if it’s a biggy. And then it passes with an understanding it was simply something we took on. Letting it go allows the space to feel and connect to the beauty and truth of who we really are. This understanding has changed my life. Thanks Lee for helping me to connect more deeply to this understanding as I’m begin confronted by some stuff right now and this has helped!

     3. Its such a different approach… bringing vulnerability and fragility takes so much more strength as we risk ‘opening up’ how we are truly feeling. So different to the combative swearing and aggression that pre-empt someone getting close to us, keeping the world at a safe distance. Its quite clear to me which one takes more courage.

344. Wow!! That’s a pretty full on cycle of abuse to be in, and amazing will and strength to see that anything is possible when inspired and shown that there is another way to be with everyone

345. I can relate to everything you speak of – physical attack if I spoke up, so I shut up, going bright red when I started speaking, so I shut up, vice like grip in my chest and my heart felt like it was going to jump out on the floor and run away, so I shut up. But the expression was always burning to come out. What I love about this expression of yours LJ is how you describe how to move out of this which is to simply observe it and slowly and steadily work through it and allow yourself to feel your fragility. This too is my current journey in my expression which has been all the more supported by your awesome blog. Thank you.

     1. I can relate to what you say too, ginadunlop. In my case, there was never any physical violence, but there are other ways that young ones can be treated when they speak up. I was brought up in a still somewhat ‘children are seen but not heard’ era, which has quite an emotional effect. Children were not encouraged to have an opinion on anything, and were quickly put in their place, or completely ignored if they uttered anything like that. Discussions were held and decisions made behind closed door by parents, and also, it was not uncommon for a group of older members of a family to sit around discussing the merits and demerits of the children as if they did not exist, even though they were maybe in the same room. There was never any chance to say what one might have felt about anything.

     2. Being ignored or brushed off as being wrong were factors in my upbringing as well and I still have this habit of repeating myself when I think I have just said something ‘really worthwhile’. It feels silly now but shows how deeply we let ourselves be influenced and shaped by what other people say, especially as children.

346. Expressing what we really feel to share in a loving and understanding way, without investments or fears in the outcome and without holding ourselves back is the easiest way to relate to others. As we never get taught this anywhere in life, we have to learn it step by step and never forget to also not invest in how we should be, but meet ourselves in an absolutely loving and understanding way.

     1. Beautifully expressed Michael. So, the key is to express fully without holding back, without justification, without investment in the outcome and without expectation, just simply expressing from love is all that is needed.

     2. Thank you for picking up on this Michael, I would love to share this with more young people, it is so empowering. Learn to express without investment or fears in the outcome. The earlier we can learn to do that with love and without holding back the more people appreciate the clarity it offers. There is also needed the ability to discern when it would be imposing to offer guidance or an opinion, when in fact it has not been asked for, that never means we allow abuse but equally it is important sometimes to let things play out for others to learn, just as we will all have to … Very important additions in the tool bag of expression.

     3. And to see that every challenge with another person allows the possibility to heal old hurts. For example, when I allow myself to see my responsibility in why someone is in reaction to me, so that rather than blaming the other person, I say: is there something I can learn here?

     4. That is the learning to not be perfect in it – but also to not hold back what we have to say. Like a forever Work in process.

     5. Yes Michael as when we meet ourselves in “an absolutely loving and understanding way”, we then naturally meet others with loving understanding.

     6. So true Michael. We never seem to get taught how to express. We learn to read and write, working on our vocabulary from a young age, however, until I found the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, no one ever said that the quality of the energy and the connection I have with myself is more powerful in expression than the words I use to fill the space. There is also huge responsibility in what we express as this effects all around us.

     7. Beautiful Michael – this phrase I know is key for me …”not invest in how we should be, but meet ourselves in an absolutely loving and understanding way.” To speak truth from my own connection of what I know to be true for me is IT.

     8. Beautiful Michael. It is true that we never get taught this foundational principle of expressing our truth from the heart. I have been learning that the more I choose to remain with Love in every situation the more I can lovingly share what is needed in honor of the Love I know we all equally are. And the more we chose this loving way the more we melt the walls between us, bridge the gap and lead by example with the way that we can meet each other openly from our hearts.

347. Thank you LJ, for your amazingly honest and open blog. You’ve been on quite a journey, it’s awesome how you have chosen to honour your self, take a moment to appreciate all the changes you’ve already made in your life, in your commitment to fully express, people are already getting to feel so much more of the real you and equally, you of them.

348. The honesty and fragility and truth in your expression here LJ is a breath of fresh air to read. It provides permission for the reader to deeply feel the vulnerabilities in their own expression and provides a path forward in the challenges that come with expressing what we truly feel. The gift you provide to humanity by sharing these vulnerabilities supports so many with a way forward in how to truly express and is a blessing for the world. Thank you so very much.

     1. Definitely I agree. The fragility Lj shares is a breath of fresh air especially after all she has been through and is now choosing love, tenderness and fragility.

     2. I agree Gina, I appreciate the honesty and openness in which LJ has shared with us as I too reflect on my own journey of expression. Although not the same picture, there is the similar pattern of slowly shutting down what I was seeing and feeling. As a work in progress I have made lots of changes here and continue to do so with great joy as I unearth and am often touched or in awe of myself in expression.

        1. ‘I have made lots of changes here and continue to do with great joy as I unearth and am often touchéd or in awe of myself in expression.’ – how absolutely inspiring Marcia. Appreciating yourself in this way has shown me much. Thank you.

     3. What I love is the way LJ explodes the driver behind swearing. There is so much to express in person who just doesn’t know how to express it.

        1. I agree Rachel. Swearing is a holding back from what we know. We know what went wrong/we could have done different but we do not express it instead we put it in to swear words. But by doing so we do not allow the situation to clear, we hold in what is there to let go off and by continuously doing so we fill ourselves up with more stuff and each time our swearing becomes more loaded as there is more and more that does not belong and literally has to come out.

        2. Well said Esther – I am loving the dissection of swearing! It is so accepted in society and has become so normalised but really it is mutilating the natural wonderment and openness of expression. We hide behind it as a tough mask or like you’ve said Esther, we use it instead of taking responsibility for our actions which lead us to the point where swearing is used. I used to think swearing was funny and would make a story more exciting but I was really getting off on the mask and falsity of it all cause I could remain hidden myself and it didn’t ask me to express my feelings in full.

     4. I agree Gina and Simon Voysey also mentioned this in a comment above, LJs vulnerability and strength in that vulnerability is inspiring as an expression.

     5. Beautifully spoken Gina. It really is a way forward in how to truly express and how to take responsibility for ones choices and reactions. At the same time the blog allowed us the space to understand where the hurts around expression came from.

     6. I agree, ginadunlop, honest expression of alll that we know ourselves to be, which includes the issues there to work through enable ourselves and others to truly feel where we are at. It enables inspiration, it enables us to feel open and willing to be vulnerable ourselves it is true development and healing. Thank you.

     7. I love your comment Ginadunlop as it is so true that the more we allow ourselves to express our fragility, a quality that we all essentially are, the more we can as a humanity let go of the protection we meet each other with. What LJ has shared is a very healing gift indeed.

     8. Nailed it. Very well said. It must have been very healing to have written this out into a blog – talk about expression!

349. LJ I can see how even coming out of the cocoon and expressing in this blog would have been a huge step for you and it seems important just to state that you are deeply appreciated for taking this step and keep it going. You are right nothing in the past need hold anyone back especially if making inroads into being more self loving in our lives – then speaking the truth can only be healing for all concerned.

     1. So true Simon. This is very inspiring having shared where LJ has come from with expression. Expression is something that I am continually working on and as LJ says, expression is everything.

     2. Beautifully said Simon, speaking truth can only be healing for all.

     3. Hi Simon and LJ I deeply appreciate this blog, LJ your expression is amazing, so real and from your lived experiences, which make it very readable and relatable to many.

     4. Absolutely Simon – deep appreciation for you LJ for taking the steps towards self love and true expression. It can be a big road back from a life of living abusively with others to actually sharing the true tender and loving beings that we are. Gorgeous.

        1. I agree – what a great step in expression openly sharing experiences and the learning from them for all others

     5. I so agree Simon, LJ has made a huge step writing such an honest and personal blog that I am sure so many can relate to. Thank you LJ, I so appreciate your honesty, it’s a great support to all, myself included, who are developing their way back to true expression.

     6. I also felt that appreciation for LJ, Simon, it is a big step to openly write a blog and share intimate parts of our lives. It is amazing the changes we can make and how our awareness can grow just by being willing to express how we feel, reflect how our lives have been and show that willingness to let more love in and out.

     7. Hear, hear Simon, very well said.

350. Thank you Miss ‘Have-a-chat’ how amazing the way you have opened up your expression and I love this sentence – ‘ I am slowly learning not to personalise what others say in response or reaction to me.’ Wow, would that be a world changer if only ten percent of the world did that.

     1. Yes, that is huge, to make yourself free from others responses and or reactions. Actually it means to fully accept and claim oneself.

     2. I agree Susan, we can certainly bring more love and truth to the world by consistently expressing it.

     3. Hear, hear, Susan, it appears to me that half the world’s problems come from our personalising what others say to us. I have certainly done my share of it in the past, but gradually letting that go.

     4. Yes Susan that is so huge, learning to not personalise what others say, and learning that our value or sense of self-worth comes from within and not by how others see us.

351. “Expression is everything” A king hit and swearing is also expression a type of expression I also had in my life in the past. For me it is important to understand where others are at, but not ok to accept abuse from them. I am learning to separate the behaviour from the person; we are not our behaviour – in saying that if those around me choose aggressive behaviour I have the choice not to be around that behaviour. I am also a work in progress as I feel we all are and will be for many lifetimes to come as we walk the path of evolution. For me these days I know if I am swearing, I can choose to continue swearing or choose to stop and take a breath and re-connect with my true self as best I can. This is not always possible and this expression is what I consider inappropriate, but I am learning not to beat myself up about that and to use it as a learning, pick myself up, and get back on the horse lovingly.

     1. Beautiful Margaret – no self bashing required just opportunities for learning. I love that.

        1. Yes Sally every opportunity is a gift for us to learn and grow. I appreciate these opportunities, sometimes I might mutter something different under my breath when they arise but soon bring myself beck to the reality that the experience is something to learn and grow from along my path of evolution.

     2. It blows me away that women are getting king hit. I know it happens but it is so shocking.

     3. Beautifully open and honest Margaret. It is great to see the level of responsibility being considered and forever open to the learning that is on offer and the evolution (advancement) that takes place at these times.

        1. Yes Tracy there is always a learning to be appreciated and celebrated.

        2. There most certainly is Marg. Even the hard lessons are ones we end up appreciating and celebrating.

     4. This is the point Margaret, that we do not beat ourselves up but to see the learning with it.

        1. I know in those moments of exposure to truth I can react in so many different ways, go straight into denial, feel the hurt/squirm and cry and defend, then beat myself up for making the error, or deeply appreciate what is being shown so that I can move forward and learn from the experience. With time and many moments of exposure I am learning that the last one is the most supportive!

        2. . Yes Monika beating ourselves up just sets us back on the path of evolution recognizing that in itself is a part of our evolution. I have in the past been a master of self-abuse, with constant and consistent techniques to bring myself back to my true self lovingly feel my hurts process anything that is coming up for me in my body I am able to learn and let go of my hurts and more on along the path of evolution.

     5. While I have not been hit, I grew up with a lot of swearing and alcohol in the house. I notice that when I do swear I am lacking intimacy with others and exposes a refusal to be vulnerable and tender. Once I chose these (vulnerability and tenderness) – it is impossible to express the other and allows more harmony in my relationships.

        1. Beautifully said Donna, I have often wondered what the point of using swear words were as they are considered to be so normal and part of how we talk to each other. What you’ve shared makes sense – ‘exposes a refusal to be vulnerable and tender’. Vulnerability, tenderness, openness and harmony and no where to be seen when abusive and hard language are on the scene!

        2. ” I notice that when I do swear I am lacking intimacy with others and exposes a refusal to be vulnerable and tender. Once I chose these (vulnerability and tenderness) – it is impossible to express the other and allows more harmony in my relationships.” That has been my experience when it comes to swearing aswell Donna.

352. Wow LJ! What an inspiring blog about the evolution of your expression from hardness and harming into something that is loving and healing. What I love about this is that you haven’t tried to excuse this, but have just taken responsibility for your choices… this is the only thing I’ve experienced myself that truly enables us to heal and to expand our true expression.

     1. Well said Angela, so often we look for every excuse under the sun as to why we are a certain way, exclaiming ‘it’s not our fault’, rather than just taking responsibility for the part we have played and moving on, allowing the healing to begin.

        1. Beautifully said Alison- moving on and allowing the healing to begin.
           For me I have found that these small true steps soon support more true steps and eventually begin to support large steps in truth. A gorgeous gift we have been given- the ability to heal.

        2. There is huge power in the simplicity of what you say Alison. The first step towards healing is taking responsibility.

     2. I like that too Angela. It is also very refreshing for others (me included) for someone to express so honestly without self- degradation, excuses or judgement. Just simply stating the facts and celebrating the resulting evolution in her choices is truly inspirational.

        1. Yes totally Jeannettegold, it is very refreshing and brings union when someone honestly expresses.

     3. Taken responsibility for your choices without any self-bashing or critique — there is such an empowering feel from your blog LJ that is truly inspiring. Awesome to feel, big thank you.

        1. I’m feeling that ‘awesome’ right now Katerina, as I see how I have used excuses, any excuses, in the past, for not expressing fully, and feeling too,how empowering it is to claim full expression.

     4. This part of LJs blog resonated with me too; that taking personal responsibility for one’s own choices is the only permanent was to heal, grow and move on from an old way.

     5. Beautifully said Angela…. there are no excuses made in what LJ writes, nor any self-condemnation, just the healing that occurs when we take responsibility for our choices.

     6. Agreed Angela, you hear expression is everything from Serge Benhayon, the next step for anyone is the responsibility we hold for our own expression.

     7. I agree Angela. It is super inspiring.

     8. Beautiful point you are making here, Angela, as excusing and or regretting is just another way of corrupting our expression.

     9. Very well said Angela. I love reading blogs like this, reflecting true change comes from taking responsibility for our choices.

     10. Agreed Angela, taking responsibility, not blaming others but understanding how holding back allows the other expression to be as it is. I really felt the swings that happen when we first start to be aware of the responsibility of our expression. How it goes from acknowledging that what we have taken as normal may not be normal and in an attempt to halt the ‘harm’ we go to not expressing, yet that is simply the other end of the swinging pendulum. The answer is not to not express but to be accountable for how and what you express when you express.

     11. I agree with you Angela, I so admire LJ for her willingness to take responsibility for her choices and to heal herself from what has been a very unloving way of being in her past. I feel LJ has shown how she can express now and will grow and grow from this.

     12. So true Angela. It is easy to blame a situation or our upbringing or a number of external factors for why we are the way we are and do the things we do, but we still have a choice. We choose the way we are in any given situation and the way we respond. I know that when I am blaming something external I am in reaction, yet when I take responsibility it frees me to express truly.

     13. Amazing changes can unfold when we take full responsibility for our choices and behaviour. It is really awesome to see this being expressed for all to be inspired by.

     14. Great point Angela, taking responsibility feels so key. I know for myself I have often wanted to run away or hide when it comes to expressing what I feel or when I have expressed and someone has reacted. Yet the more we stay with it and ride out the feelings of discomfort, really allowing ourselves to see what is underneath the more we learn. I can see for myself how much my expression is often based on how others will see me and the self-bashing comes in when I feel I have “messed up”. Yet the more I look at this, the more I see what is actually being presented is an opportunity to expose some false perceptions I have held. That being our worth is based on how others respond to us, being recognised and seen means you have value, none of which are true. We each have something to offer, we are enough as we are and our expression is everything.

         1. My Goodness Jade you are spot on. I have been in situations recently where I have reacted badly, but there is an inner strength stirring inside which is leaving me open to see and heal what the situations are really presenting for me to heal. Thus far what I am finding is that each time it is an opportunity to stay steady with myself, observing the situation rather than running off crying, hiding, blaming and closing people out. Repeatedly what I am seeing is that I am to just be me, even if I perceive that I’m being disapproved of or someone does not like or agree with what I’m saying. There’s no need to become emotional and when we do we don’t see what we need to and it’s actually the shutting down, emotional reaction and expectations on others that hurts. When I stay open, knowing that there’s more to this I have so much understanding and acceptance of myself and others.

         2. Yes Jade, and I have found that now I allow myself to express more freely, sometimes what is exposed is an attitude or judgement that I hold, but there is great value in that too, as it opens the way for greater honesty in the relationship, and therefore more intimacy.

         3. Beautiful said Jade I agree with everything you have said and more ..

     15. Exactly Angela, taking responsibility for ourselves and knowing that it is our own choices that will turn our lives around is huge – and doing it all lovingly is what actually makes the choices become easier and easier.

         1. Great point Jo, sometimes people can change their lives but its only on a surface level, all the underlying issues are still there if love isn’t chosen as the way.

     16. Yes Angela beautifully said. Taking responsibility for our choices is essential for our growth and development, and as such empowering as we realise that it is through the choices that we make that determines the quality of life that we live and the quality of ourselves that share with the world.

     17. Yes I agree Angela, I love that fact that LJ is not making any excuses and she is seeing it for what it is, and how it has been and most importantly what it can be from this moment forward, with love and tenderness. So beautiful.

     18. I agree Angela it is truly inspiring to read how you went from where you were LJ to where you are now expressing more and more.

     19. Great point on responsibility here Angela – for this is where true healing takes place. I love how LJ does not express her past or what has happened with any emotion or ‘poor me’. It’s quite the opposite with her taking full responsibility for actually CHOOSING the family she is in and the lessons on offer. This is huge and extremely inspiring as there is no blame here but a YES to evolution, one step at a time, the no expectation of perfection.

     20. Yes Angela I couldn’t agree more. Taking responsibility for our choices brings us to the forefront and allows for healing and learning in leaps and bounds. This expands our expression and we don’t get caught up in excuses and blame game.

     21. Very true Angela, I have experienced this too. Taking responsibility with expression because ‘expression is everything’. If expression is not full on your behalf or received not in align with what you know is true I have found it is in your best interest that this becomes ‘your everything’ by moving towards what you know you have lived is your truth.

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