Recognition is Nothing, Expression is Everything

Recently I have been visiting more social media platforms and sharing the amazingness that is Unimed Living and other sites related to the powerful wisdom brought through by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.  A simple choice to be more accepting, open and engaging in these platforms transformed into a journey that painfully exposed where I was truly at in relation to expression and my relationship with knowledge.

Expressing is pretty simple to do, but has it felt simple?

I have literally spent hours fighting old identities, self-doubt and paranoia. I have also endured lots of excitement, anxiousness and the inevitable exhaustion that followed such emotional experiences. I have tried not writing, sharing or commenting when I am tired, when it feels I am pushing through or when there are distractions around. However I would often still feel very self-conscious and embarrassed after having expressed on social media.

This made me question myself: is this worth it? I considered stopping myself from expressing this openly on any social media. However, holding back and hiding didn´t feel right either; it felt like self-sabotage. So I decided to stay open and super honest, to support my body with the Gentle Breath Meditation and online Gentle Yoga classes and let it all unfold deeply. What immediately came up was the issue of recognition and looking for acceptance from others: “What will my old friends and acquaintances think of me?” I was feeling this as I realised none of my current expressions matched any of my past identities.

How am I going to survive not getting as many likes as I could get if I was sharing some art and cool pictures, music videos, ecological or political stuff or Buddhist quotes?

I then felt how much we are measured in our virtual world in terms of likes: like me or I shall endure the icy silence that I interpret as a discouraging disinterest or disapproval. I even considered a possibility that someone might block me. Crazy. And then another issue kicked in – how am I going to resist the excitement of my own worth being confirmed every time a ‘like’ is clicked? Double crazy.

I realised how social media was triggering many unresolved issues that were getting in the way of my decision to build consistency and commitment with expressing in a way I felt impulsed to. As a reaction I just wanted to hide and go back into ‘safety’ mode again, and to stop expressing.

This issue about recognition and shame needed to be addressed before I could continue and get to a more truthful quality in my expression. A deep questioning came next which wasn´t nice to feel, but necessary in order to understand what sort of thing I was bringing that was making me feel uncomfortable and dishonest.

  • Have I perhaps got too excited with knowledge in the past, to the point that I got tempted to take ownership of it and use it for recognition?
  • Have I invested in knowledge to fill up my bottomless pit of lack of self-worth and to cover up my hurts by becoming smug, self-righteous and by preaching to others?

Making use of knowledge in this way can only keep one trapped in a retarding cycle of praise and rejection, applause and shame. When we are in the applause end, the excitement that it arouses feels like the fakest version of self-empowerment, apart from being totally exhausting. In the shame end we can either fall into indignation or sabotage of our own authority, and insecurity easily creeps in.

I had to deeply question how it is to use knowledge that is not coming from a lived experience and a place of fullness and integrity within myself. I realised that I had also been confusing connection to others and self-empowerment with recognition and prestige, to then land in disgrace and deep self-doubt.

When we genuinely make it about truth, magic does happen, and we are able to constellate connections and conversations with others that can unlock places where we feel stuck, no matter how much knowledge is at hand in our minds.

This process and connection led me to a deeper understanding of the fact that if I put “me” in the way when I express, that is, when I come from a need for recognition and identification, I fall in the struggle of recalling information, making it mine, and investing in outcomes as in people will get it or like it.

However what I have recently begun to consider is:

What if there is indeed lots of wisdom that can come through me, but because I can get stuck in old patterns of owning knowledge and a tendency to preach, I am getting in the way of true purpose and great intelligence to come through me?

Without the need to fall into further shame, punishment or to make further ‘stories’, – nowadays whenever I feel the impulse to share something from my heart, I am more able to distinguish the deceptive denseness and processing I can go into, and know it is there to distract me and inhibit further a deeper connection with my heart.

This has nothing to do with my truth: it is something I am responsible for allowing from time to time, but that will eventually fade more and more as I let go of my identification with knowledge, and as my commitment to self-love deepens and I remember how it is to express truthfully from living this love and commitment to myself, which requires no recognition or identification from the outside.  

Even if I make mistakes, it feels awesome to not hold back anymore, and to claim my expression back. I now know my expression is not mine, it comes from the whole and it is for the whole which I am part of too, and this makes a huge and totally different story.

Each day I am learning more that ‘Expression is Everything’ and that I am just a vehicle of expression. All I need to do is carry on committing to the refinement of the way I live, the way I connect to myself and my body and the relationship and commitment I have with a greater purpose.

By Luz H H. Bogotá, Colombia

Further Reading:
Energetic Integrity and Energetic Responsibility
“Expression is Everything” – How I Feel About Myself, the World and Other People
What Happens When We Do Not Speak Up?

961 thoughts on “Recognition is Nothing, Expression is Everything

  1. Knowledge has currency in most societies. Education is expensive and is rewarded with high regard and often well-paid jobs.I’ve fallen for knowledge being security and become anxious when I can’t recall information in certain situations. But my believing that knowledge is king meant I didn’t appreciate the natural wisdom that lies within that knowledge can compliment. A response that emcompases the whole wasn’t given when it was needed. It is no wonder that anxiety is felt in the body when relying solely on knowledge. Could it be my fear of missing out some vital piece of knowledge was actually the anxiety of knowing I wasn’t connecting to the bigger picture that was asking to be delivered?

  2. I have also learned that expression is everything, and that we each are responsible for our thoughts, actions and words and how this has a ripple effect on everything. To express who we truly are, is all we have to do, so another gets the reflection of who they truly are and is how we can work together and pull each other up.

  3. Expression comes through us, not from us and to live and understand this changes everything, for there is no ownership or I in this, and so our job is to let go anything which gets in the way of the wisdom that can be expressed through us.

  4. “I have literally spent hours fighting old identities, self-doubt and paranoia.” It’s crazy the amount of time that we spend fighting who we are and what we need to say and do – we just waste so much time, and what’s the worst that could happen if we really go for it?

  5. Luz, what an amazing blog. I hold back on social media a lot because I know how uncomfortable I feel on the see-saw of shame v recognition. I shall be reading and feeling the wanting to make things mine – that ownership of knowledge, the excitement at the many ways I can use it in a way that isn’t supporting another to be themselves but for me to look good. This feels very ugly and perhaps contributes to the feeling of shame. Much here to lovingly uncover.

    1. I am very intrigued by shame. I felt shame spirals or washes a lot in the past. I remember speaking unedited as a child. I remember being puzzled when people I could see were amazing, reacted to and took very personally the things I said which were not said to be horrible. As I grew up I didn’t respect people’s choices to stay in their self-protecting bubbles, I wanted to break them out so I could have someone close to connect to – I wasn’t connected with myself.

      Fearing shame allows me to stay in the anxiety of expressing/not expressing in case someone reacted and I’d have a shame spiral. But shame is a lie – no-one is ever flawed – though I liked to believe everyone else was fine but I was flawed- aka special and different 😉 Shame, like any other energy that feels horrible is something that passes through us. I don’t have to identify with it even if I do feel it every so often. I can just let it go.

  6. Wanting approval and recognition for what we do starts from very young, when we get praised for doing something well but not ever receiving acknowledgment and appreciation for just being who we are, and so we start to learn to judge ourselves from what we do. It is a vein that runs through our lives until we recognise that we are already amazing and don’t need approval form anyone.

  7. It can feel so freeing to just be and express all of who I am with no holding back – there is so much joy to be had but although I know and can sense what comes through me does not belong to me, there is a tendency to want to own it and hold on to it, a learning to master in my unfolding.

  8. Dear Luz, you are indeed a student of your self and of life. I admire and am inspired by people like yourself that have the courage to undertake self-exploration, to ask yourself the more difficult questions and be OK with what gets uncovered.

  9. This shows up how social media has been used – that it is all for self recognition and that we only share to get a response or reaction from others. Very exposing when we can look at what it is that drives us to post – what is the purpose behind this and it is for self or for others.

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