I recently had a great experience of being aware of, and dealing with tension in my body. My husband had been driving our 4WD (four wheel drive) along a track on a beautiful sand island in Queensland with our friend following behind. Shortly into the journey, my friend’s car became bogged in the soft sand so we stopped and walked back to dig her out.
We had just un-bogged her when I noticed another car coming up from behind. My husband hopped into and started driving our friend’s car, while I ran back to our car upfront and started driving. There was no way around my car for anyone to overtake and it was likely the cars behind me would get bogged again if they stopped.
I had been a passenger on a few 4WD’ing trips, mostly along sandy tracks and had observed a lot along the way as to how to drive in very soft sand. However, I had never actually driven for myself. Now being in the driver’s seat, literally, was a whole new ballgame.
As I drove, I put into practice what I had learned from watching my husband drive. I found I quite enjoyed it, but after a few minutes I realised that when the track became more difficult – the holes got deeper and the sand softer – my shoulders, neck, arms and hands on the steering wheel tensed up. I also noticed I was leaning forward in my seat, with my body moving closer to the wheel, which was a sure sign that I was anxious and tense. The same thing happens at work. I am aware I can hunch up and move closer to the computer screen when my work becomes more complex.
I was bracing myself because I was in an unusual situation that in turn was making me even more tense. The internal butterflies I was feeling confirmed that when I’m tense on the outside, I am tense on the inside too and I can’t operate and/or make decisions as easily, or as clearly, as when I am relaxed and with myself. Tension takes away my decision-making capabilities.
So I listened to how my body was feeling and made a conscious decision to let go of the tension, to not brace myself, to relax my body, and to trust the car. I knew the car could handle the track no problems, but only if it was driven in the right way.
In trusting my capable car, I then chose – making a very mechanical decision – to loosen my grip on the wheel, sit back in my seat, release my shoulders, and go along for the ride. I was steering yes, but I was trusting and allowing the car to do the work. It felt very much like the car was an extension of my body and together we totally nailed the track!
The lesson I learned from all this is that I can make friends with tension as it is there to show me something first and then it is up to me to make choices that either help release the tension or instead work with it in a way that best supports me.
Universal Medicine, and specifically Serge Benhayon, have been integral in developing my understanding of how the body works and responds to situations and emotions in a very practical way. It is because of Serge Benhayon’s continued commitment to humanity and truth that I choose everyday to continue my relationship with my body so that I am the master of life, not the other way around.
by Suzanne Anderssen, Brisbane, Australia
Further Reading:
Connection To Self Through Conscious Presence
Anxiety – Unfolded
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
A beautiful example that it is us who bring the tension into our body and the freedom of letting it go.
It’s a very practical experience in your car and it can relate to all of life, the opportunity we have to be aware of how we feel in our body and make an adjustment to respond without the tension and stress. Great example Suzanne, I feel inspired to be more body aware today.
I love the example shared in this blog, it is so practical and relatable.
Great example of how simply we can all go into anxiety when we are faced with a new way of doing anything and what you have shared Susan feels True in the way to approach life when things are becoming a little off track. So we appreciate what life has shared and in that knowing we can deepen into our essences and allow the next level of appreciation to drop in and thus feel the confirmation and authority that comes when we Truly-appreciate.
I’ve felt really annoyed this morning and tense. It feels like I keep trying to go through life in that braced way but it’s not working, wanting it (to go through life tense) to work and it not happening is what’s frustrating me… maybe it’s time to cut my investment to wanting to control the situation.
When the tools are there the sand will move with little effort and we can move on down the track unencumbered by our out dated control mechanisms.
When I recognise tension in my body I know it is calling for the Gentle Breath so that I don’t drive myself deeper into the sand – or the mud.
Recognising the tension in our bodies gives us the opportunity to make a different choices, this blog is a great example.
Isn’t this a great metaphor for life? When we surrender and don’t harden and tense, even the most difficult situations become much easier to handle.
We have camels for a reason! 😂 I love this that we can learn from the tension in our bodies as it is showing us it is there for a reason, very cool to learn.
It is interesting how our body goes into tension in anticipation of what may happen, it feels very much like a learned behaviour, that when we do it often it becomes an automatic reaction, yet if we stay with our breath our shoulders drop and from something that could have been eventful for the wrong reasons, turns into a joyful experience that we wouldn’t mind repeating.
I love what you write about making a concious decision to let go of the tension, with this ‘mecanical’ change of our movements we make the start to let ourselves not be ruled by the world but feel that we have the power to be in charge of our body in order to do what is asked of us.
This is a great example of how we feel everything when we are connected to our bodies and from there we can make a different choice, otherwise we stay in control and complicate things.
There is much in this blog that I find very supportive and practical in how to respond to tension, in particular what stands out for me in this reading is, “… I then chose – making a very mechanical decision – to loosen my grip on the wheel, sit back in my seat, release my shoulders, and go along for the ride.” The dissipation of the tension is not something that just happens, we have to make the conscious decision and make the actual mechanical action to make a change having first being honest with our self as to what is occurring for us and being aware of what is happening in the body.
Making friends with tension is a powerful and empowering relationship to have.
When I read your blog today Suzanne it made me realise that our body itself is a vehicle – a four wheel drive and with a natural innate wisdom that is more than capable of navigating life, if we let go of the control and surrender to that natural wisdom and intuition.
I am very aware when I am driving when I start to feel tension in my body I need to make adjustments either with my speed, the space between the cars, my body position or all three, if the don’t I feel tired when I arrive, particularly on long journeys.
Embracing tension is an assured way to hand over ourselves to situations where we feel trapped and diminished, whose steering is done in contraction in the hope that the results may not be that bad. So, an increase (in tension) lead to a reduction of everything else (starting with us and our capacity to respond well to a situation).
What I can get from this is that tension is our own response to a situation, and it does not define the situation as whatever we want to frame it. It is all about a relationship.
Our relationship with tension. We can surrender to that relationship, with tension, and make new choices.
‘I can make friends with tension as it is there to show me something first’ now this is so important to hear … we, and I very specifically am not always comfortable with tension, but in fact it’s there to show us something and it’s our choice in that next moment how we are with it … in reaction or surrendering and feeling how we can be in our body with what is before us.
Learning to accept that tension is a part of life brings an understanding to myself that drops any pictures or ideals about how life or myself should be.
It’s so true Suzanne, when we are tense and anxious we lose our clarity and ability to make decisions based on that transparency and understanding.
Very true, ‘when I’m tense on the outside, I am tense on the inside too and I can’t operate and/or make decisions as easily, or as clearly, as when I am relaxed and with myself. Tension takes away my decision-making capabilities.’
With awareness comes choice” So I listened to how my body was feeling and made a conscious decision to let go of the tension, to not brace myself, to relax my body, and to trust the car. “
“I knew the car could handle the track no problems, but only if it was driven in the right way.” A very accurate analogy for the human body.
Every step of the way we have walking with us the greatest friend to guide us to live as harmoniously as we possibly can. Our body will always reflect the truth our what we are choosing in any moment, which reveals what energy we have aligned to. In our willingness to be honest with how we are feeling we have the awareness to make a shift and adjust the way we are moving and what we are aligning to.
Carola I get what you are saying with this comment
‘Our body will always reflect the truth our what we are choosing in any moment, which reveals what energy we have aligned to.’
My body is currently showing me how much I use nervous energy to get through life, I use it as a form of protection. I use nervous tension in my body like a drug to keep me in a state where I’m in disconnection to my surroundings or to what my body is telling me, how ridiculous that I use nervous energy rather than listening to my body? More importantly who has given me the intelligence to know how to do this and where does it come from?
Observation is a great way to learn things.
Simply learning to trust our bodies… That it’s really that simple… And yet such a profound change happens in our lives when we do learn to do this to trust and feel.
Beautiful Suzanne, a lesson where we all can learn from observing where we are tense and bringing ourselves in a contraction modus… Becoming aware is the start and from there on we can start to make choices that actually help us surrender to our bodies when we feel we become tense again. Step by step we will disolve our contraction to the tension we are sensing as we learn to observe our own bodies; feelings and become aware of our body posture and amount of stress /tension held in our body at times. From there on we can start to change things.
A great example of how we can be with tension when we notice it, ‘So I listened to how my body was feeling and made a conscious decision to let go of the tension, to not brace myself, to relax my body, and to trust the car.’
The body knows best and when we can get out of the way and not drive a certain agenda, together (rather than in separation from each other) we can perform miracles.
Absolutely Gabriele – we gain nothing when we try to control, however we do gain access to all that is on offer when we surrender to the truth in our body.
Having done a lot of 4WD adventures I say it’s hard NOT to tense up when your driving those tracks – it’s scary stuff with potential danger at every turn – either by getting bogged, being rammed by another car if you get bogged on a corner or having a head on collision on the one-lane soft sand tracks… I’m leaving the camping to others now!
Suzanne only yesterday I had a new situation that caused me a bit of panic. I even rang someone, but they didn’t pick up, so I had to figure out what to do for myself. Afterwards I wondered what all the fuss was about. You are so right that when we loosen our grip (on life) we can make decisions and trust that we know.
“Tension takes away my decision-making capabilities.” To consciously choose to listen to your body and then surrender in a difficult situation – a powerful inspiration for us all.
Suzanne, awesome, and what a mega punch of a last sentence ! AB-solutely right. We have to surrender indeed and give ourselves over to God , letting our body indeed release the tension – move on with that surrender doing what needs to be done. This totally exposes the comfort of control we can live by and how actually quiet adventurous it can be once we let go of that – and surrender to what is new (love) and trust that all will be fine as when we are in connection with our body. In this case it is a beautiful example of how our car is symbol for our body.. And so we can see many things in the world.
Let us stop fighting and surrender to what is real, truly and godly there for us to explore.
I love timing and how perfect it is for me to read this today … yes we can make friends with tension, it’s just showing us how we’re bracing and being in life, and then as you show here Suzanne, we can choose to release it and make choices which allows our bodies to surrender. Awesome, so rather than get tense about being tense (trust me, been there!), we can let go, it’s always about how we choose to handle it.
Thank you monicag2 for reminding us all we always have a choice.
Yes! I’ve been noticing this a lot lately…moving closer to the computer screen when my work becomes more complex or I’m trying really hard to understand what I’m reading etc. It’s so funny, it’s like, if my face is on the screen then maybe the words will jump in my brain and I will be able to understand more. I observe people doing this with the TV as well….the more intense the entertainment the closer their bodies move toward it. It’s very interesting what happens when we allow ourselves to be absorbed by information rather than observing it and giving ourselves the space to feel and understand it.
A lot of tension left my body as I read this his blog. Thank you Suzanne.
Yes Leonne and it is this simple awareness of the tension we feel, that brings us forth in life.
‘Tension takes away my decision-making capabilities.’ So true the tenser we become the harder it is to connect and feel the flow of what is needed next.
It has been amazing to appreciate that when I let go and trust I will be supported the tension in my body dissipates. The more awareness I am building the more often it is being revealed to me just how much tension I still allow to arise with many tasks during my day, driving and sitting in front of the computer being 2 common examples. Thank you for sharing this great reminder Suzanne that it is always our choice.
Love this Suzanne, and the detail you’ve shared it in… Such a relationship with the tension felt in your body feels to have been something that has developed over time – I know for myself, that this is so, also deepened beyond measure via the inspiration and practicality of countless presentations by Serge Benhayon, inclusive of all that the modality of Esoteric Yoga, founded by Serge Benhayon, offers to us all also.
In living with an awareness of our bodies and what we are experiencing at any given time, in bringing a conscious choice to be truly present with what we are doing… we do indeed have the opportunity to support ourselves and respond to what is needed in a given situation.
Your example of 4W driving is case in point – the tension can arise from an inner anxiousness, uncertainty and/or expectation, and yet, to give reign back to the body, to trust its own knowing and flow… this can absolutely be done.
A great reminder Suzanne ‘ that I choose everyday to continue my relationship with my body so that I am the master of life, not the other way around.’ I do a lot of long distance driving and continually have to check my posture and see if I am leaning forward or if my shoulders have any tension in them, it is great practise to get into with everything we do in life as it makes such a difference to how we feel in our bodies.
Such a practical and tangible thing to do to really help understand our body. I can relate to driving with tension. I recently relocated to an area where a lot of driving is through the country and hills etc. There are many windy roads and because I’m unfamiliar with the roads I notice that my whole body tenses up as I take the corners, often because I’m feeling a pressure of someone behind me or because I place the pressure on myself to not need to brake, which is crazy. I catch myself at least 10 times in a drive doing this. Some days I let go of the anxiety I’m having about how I should drive and just let my car and my body do what it feels to do more effortlessly, and it’s so much more enjoyable that way, and my body isn’t all locked up and twisted. Other days I make the same mistake with every corner I fly around and seem to realise I’m doing it but stubbornly choose not to do anything about it. It’s all a learning.
What you can be aware of in something so simple and everyday as driving is amazing. As the article is saying that at times we want to control things for what ever reason, we tense up and grab on tight. This is the exact opposite of what to do when driving a car. As is said once the tension was felt and let go of, “It felt very much like the car was an extension of my body and together we totally nailed the track!” The vehicle responds to the direction you give it and in the tension we perceive we are ready for anything but in fact we aren’t truly watching the road, only a part and this creates blind spots. The only way to be truly ready for anything and everything is to have your body ready to truly feel and if you are tense, it’s hard and you will feel less. Allowing your body to settle and let go when you feel you are holding tension is one of the first steps in bringing more awareness to what is really there, after all why did you go tense? What were you already feeling?
Such a vivid account of the tension that can build in our bodies without our being aware of it until it has all but taken over. Great to remind us to keep our awareness in our bodies and allow a constant letting go.
Thank you Suzanne this is a beautiful realisation you share that it is ok to allow ourselves to relax in tense situation as we are then more aligned with what is needed as opposed to tightly holding on and trying to control the situation, and how very much we are supported in any situation.
I often feel my body go into tension and harden up and now I can understand how tensing up the body blocks me from receiving communication that is otherwise available – which makes total sense as our bodies are made of particles and energy pass through us constantly.
Its amazing how often we can brace ourselves in life as if ill equipped to deal with whatever lies in front of us, yet it’s usually only the way we are choosing to face it that makes us ill equipped. I love that the body lets us know through the tension that there is another way to move that requires no bracing, just surrender.
Tension is a common part of life and it is our relationship with it that we need to be aware of, we either live life reacting to the tension we feel by hardening our bodies or we learn to let go of the expectations we place on the way things need to be and surrender and trust that through the connection with our bodies we find a supportive flow to life.
The key lies in developing the awareness of the body. Once we are aware of the tension or the tightness, then we can make the choice to let it go and allow the body to come back to a more natural way of being. Without this awareness, we continue on with the tension or the tightness which continues to affect everything that we do. Sometimes I find body awareness easy to hold onto, and other times I find I am so distracted by the things outside of myself that body awareness is the last thing that comes to me. However, the more I allow the body awareness to develop and the more I make the choices to let go and come back to a more natural way of being, the more I get to actually enjoy life and how I am in it, and so everything around me and what I do becomes a completely different experience. Thank you Suzanne for this wonderful reminder!
I like the idea of making friends with the tension. Instead of making it the enemy to fuss and moan about, it’s a sign from my body to make a change. Staying connected to my body and how it feels means I can catch the tension early.
It is amazing what we can do when we need to step up and do it. We are so much more capable than what we often think we are.
I used to fight against any tension in my body and I now know that I have a choice to either let it go, or work with it, it also acts as a great guide to keep us aware of what is going on and how we can support each other as well, when we feel their tension too.
If we hold the stillness within, like a butterfly flapping its wings through a deadly storm, we can not be touched.
Beautifully said Michael.
Our body has a great way of showing us that anxiety effects the whole body. When we are anxious muscles tense and we are in a constant state of flight or fight which is exhausting. Being aware of the tension and making a conscious movement to let it go and the flow returns to our body.
Tension is all around us and it is through a consistent way of living and connection with our bodies that we can bring more awareness to the way our bodies are responding to what is going on around us without compromising our quality in any way.
I love this sharing, I’m inspired!
‘The lesson I learned from all this is that I can make friends with tension as it is there to show me something first and then it is up to me to make choices that either help release the tension or instead work with it in a way that best supports me.’ This is absolute GOLD!
It is so crazy how we allow tension to control our body and make us anxious. But like you shared we can be friends with the tension in our body and get it to work with us so to ease the tension and eliminate anxiety.
Who would have thought driving a car could give us such gems but it is true “Tension takes away my decision-making capabilities.” We should teach conscious presence in schools so exam periods were less stressful.
Whenever I get tense I know the tension is not me and this is as you have so easily described Suzanne when you shared that you ‘made friends with tension’.
For a great understanding of how to deal with tensions and anxiety go to;
Understanding Anxiety in Men – ONLINE COURSE
http://study.coum.org/enrol/index.php?id=14
Thank you for sharing Suzanne
When we start to acknowledge we are not the tension and that we actually have a choice in how we deal with tension there is a change, although I must admit the bodily feeling of tension can be overwhelming from time to time. But connecting with my body and truly be present is the way forward and I love how you say ‘make friends with tension’.
Going into tension, physically and mentally, is such a common pattern, a default position really when it comes to a tricky situation; and that can be in an office or out in nature, no difference. This is a great demonstration of how to not let tension and anxiety run the show but let go of the protection and hardness and harness what our body knows to do best, if given half a chance.
It is amazing what we can do once we become aware of tension, we have a choice to let it go or continue to hold on to it. I like how you shared we can make friends with tension because it is there to show us something, instead of ignoring it and pretend it’s not there we can learn from it. This is an awesome reminder for me Suzanne, learn from what my body is telling me and allow myself to simply feel and then make my next choices with more awareness.
just knowing and observing where and when tension creeps into our life can be the start of taking steps to reconnect with ourselves in such a way that we are not taken over with the consequent effects upon our body.
Lately I am finding that if I am doing something that I haven’t done before and have doubts about my ability, it has a horrible effect on my body. I stop being open and at ease, allowing myself to know that I can deal with anything in my life. I feel small, worried and isolated, like the weight of the world is on me. The worry of not knowing also shuts down my access to my intuitive knowing and trust that I will be able to deal with whatever situation is before me.
Your description of your posture as you became tense driving the 4WD made me laugh as I pictured myself doing the same at work at my computer. Then you said that it also reminded you of work! I find the changes in my posture are getting more subtle now as I am more aware of my body and level of tension. However I find it only takes a small change to really restrict the natural ease and flow in my body. It can be letting my chin come forward a bit (which constricts the back of my neck and head) or my shoulders rolling in a bit, causing hardening and contraction across my chest. I find it really important to keep checking and not letting this build up over the day, as this leaves me feeling exhausted by the end of the day.
What a cool, real life example you share here. It goes to show that no matter what we do in life we are responding, learning and if we are willing, listening to our bodies. I found it really cool how you ‘made friends’ with the tension – I don’t think I’ve ever looked at it that way. What a great way to view that relationship. Thanks for sharing 🚙💨
The way we drive our bodies in daily life can be likened to driving a car – and it is important to always be aware if we are the actual driver at the wheel of our own body or the passenger that is merely along for the ride.
A priceless insight – letting go of the tension, anxiousness and tight control and becoming a master of life rather than being at the mercy of it.
Like you Suzanne tension in my body also clouds my mind and in turn takes away my clarity and decisiveness in what I do. This blog is a great reminder of this fact.
Great learning from this article, no matter how challenging a situation is we always have the option of re connecting to the body and letting that guide us
I have started to love driving recently, it’s such a great opportunity to practice connection and being aware of what is going on in my body, such as my breath and my posture and the delicateness of my hands on the steering wheel. I’ve also learnt the way my hands hold the steering wheel can actually help my body surrender, and that my body never needs to harden – no matter what. Driving is such a great life lesson…
This blog empowers us to stand for ourselves and surrender to who we are and what we are capable of. Being it driving a 4WD car or playing music. It is so important that with what we do comes surrender to ourselves – and trust that we are divine and are capable to trust our own power and authority. And to trust that we are held in love and that there are so many things around us to support that.
After a plethora of speeding offences I have been forced by the Court of Law (quite literally) to finally totally re-imprint the way I drive my car. It has been astonishing. A short trip in the car now offers me an amazing opportunity for connection. If I commit to it I absolutely love it and it is a hugely supportive part of my day – totally changing how I am on arrival. Driving from A to B has never had more purpose!
I love this sharing- I can remember a friend teaching me how to drive my car more relaxed. He showed me how to relax and let the car do what it is designed to do. It was an amazing lesson and really highlighted something bigger about the level of anxiety that I can approach life with.
anxiety is neither friend nor foe but an indicating to a situation we are experiencing.
A great example of the impact our need for control can have on the body. With a clear purpose, an approach of ‘going along for the ride’ along with ‘trusting and allowing’ are far gentler ways of living life. And if as you say, ‘tension takes away my decision-making capabilities’ then just what quality of decisions and outcomes are we creating when we live our lives in a constant state of tension and nervous energy?
Great blog Suzanne, making friends with tension! This is very cool, I could really relate to feeling the tension in my body, not only when driving, but also tensing up when in front of a computer. Bringing awareness to this process and then being able to make other choices, to let go of the tension, making friends with it, can be very helpful.
I too have learnt so much from watching my husband drive. From driving down narrow lanes where I live in Mid-Wales, U.K. to driving in Central London I have observed my husband and simply had a go! Most certainly, I experienced tension and a lot of it at times along the way but it wasn’t going to stop me from driving in situations that were new to me. I feel there are always going to be moments in life as we move forward where we will experience tension but it is what we do with it that matters.
“As I drove, I put into practice what I had learned from watching my husband drive.” We can learn so much from others simply from observing them. That is why it is imperative as a parent to live in a way by example that is true to me as much as possible.
Last night we had a cow calving. The calf was dead but the cow had opened just enough to get the calving jack with the help from the vet to pull it out. I held the tail of the cow and could feel the tension in my body. My body was leaning forward and I could sense that I was frowning (which my nine year old daughter pointed out) a sure sign I was in anxiousness. As soon as I was aware of how I was feeling I was able to let go of the tension and I felt so much more solid in my body. The calf was very gently eased out and afterwards the cow got up, a great sign that the cow had not been harmed during the process. It goes to show that awareness is key… it is then a choice.
It is an absolute gift to read this blog before I start work today. I have always felt that tension was something that made things harder and there is a part of me that resents challenges. Amazing to see that these challenges are simply opportunities to deepen my connection with myself.
We are so used to holding tension in our bodies that we often do not ever notice we have tension. I noticed this the other day when I was out walking and a stranger walked towards me that my body became ever so slightly tense. As soon as I noticed this I let my body relax and the tension left. It was a matter of becoming aware of the tension and making a different choice.
I agree Elizabeth, it is so normal for us to live our lives in tension and some would argue that they thrive and do better when they are tense and in nervous energy but I am realising that any tension I find myself in, if I choose to not let it go it will catch up with me usually feeling tired. It really does pay to be present and call out when we are tense so that we can make a different choice.
The moment we clock the tension we can choose to remain tense or change how we are moving which changes how we feel. Thank you for this simple yet huge reminder Suzanne.
‘I can make friends with tension as it is there to show me something first and then it is up to me to make choices that either help release the tension or instead work with it in a way that best supports me.’ – Awesome point, Suzanne, your blog is a great reminder to stop and check in with your body. I sometimes find that I am tensing my body, especially the muscles in my legs, while just simply sitting. I will certainly pay more attention to this phenomenon and befriend the tension so I can surrender to it, and subsequently easy my body.
I love this blog, it really shows the practicality and common sense of The Way of The Livingness. It shows how this religion is about everyday life and everyday situations and experiences.
What I love about re-reading your blog Suzanne is the practical tips we can use in our own day to day living. Being aware of how we are in our bodies and learning from our connection is huge. Thank you for sharing.
I love the idea of making friends with the tension for then we can choose to let go of the control and be in allowance – I can always know by the way my hands feel on the steering wheel of my car whether i’m in connection with myself or in tension with the driving conditions.
This blog reminds me how often I wind myself up and go into tension unnecessarily – like holding a phone very tightly against my ear when I cannot hear very well as if that would make any difference, instead of asking the person to speak up. It all happens in a nano-second. I have become aware of how quickly I employ tension in my body in reaction to situations, and how much residue has been left in my body to form patterns. Thank you, Suzanne, your blog has been a perfect prompt for me to pay more attention.
Tense situations disapear when we allow our natural free flowing expression
To ‘make friends with tension’ that feels good to me. Great sharing Suzanne thank you.
Suzanne I have also learned a lesson – I also like it very much to make my tension my best friend. A good friend will always help and so there is more easiness than a deep exhaustion.
And, what would the quality be like of everyone arriving where they are going and then doing what they drove to do. That is what is so powerful about this – it is not just about what happens on the road…but ripples way, way beyond that moment into the rest of our day. Everything is everything and so that time spent in the bubble of our cars, even if we are alone, is no less important and impactful on the rest of humanity as when we are amongst other people. When I remember that and think big like that, then my presence, commitment and care are second nature. Forget that, play small or think only of self, and my driving changes completely.
What I find fascinating is sometimes we don’t even know we are in tension and so we think we are getting on with things and the someone touches our back and its the ‘aha
moment’ that makes us consider just how much tension we are actually carrying around with us!
This is such a great example of the practical approach to life, Serge Benhayon’s presentations have, Suzanne. Yes, his work is Esoteric, Occult, philosophical, religious and scientific and it is so in its true form: connected to and supporting everyday life in our current societies.
“Making friends with tension”, instead of fighting it. This has been a great insight for me especially when driving and needing to get to an appointment on time and then being held up by unexpected traffic on the way. At this point I am aware of tension in my body and the best I could do was be aware of what was happening, but reading your blog has supported me to do so in a different way. To work with the tension, feel it and respond.
I have a developing relationship with tension where i am learning to appreciate what tension shares with me and where i am learning to accept and be with the tension presented and what is being truly offered.
Beautiful Marcia, this really does change our perspective on how we view tension. It feels like there are many levels of tension from how we are simply sitting or standing with ourselves to experiencing tension on a stage in front of people or even expressing in disagreement with another but what ever the reason for the tension arising I am inspired to begin to embrace the tension by appreciating and accepting it for what it is truly offering me.
Driving is so much fun and I have always enjoyed it. Driving has changed for me from the extreme of brought on tension and thrill of street dragging, which is very dangerous, to about staying with my body’s natural still-nature. Driving is about releasing the tension and being with myself and not what is going on around me outside the car or any thrill of racing or beating another.
I drive now focusing on what is going on inside the car and inside me. I’m not perfect with this daily activity and can easily fall into bad habits but it is long way from how driving used to be for me. It makes such a difference and driving is confirming, relaxing and more enjoyable than how I used to drive.
I love what you say: to work with the tension! Thanks for the inspiration.
Making friends with tension and one’s choices with it is a great way to be and what an reflection – thank you . Having had a car drive into me from behind resulting in a bad accident years ago I usually find i get very tense when in a car driving or being a passenger and do not trust what may happen This is a brilliant sharing to try in my life.
A great blog and I love what you took away from the experience, ‘I choose everyday to continue my relationship with my body so that I am the master of life, not the other way around.’
I absolutely love the practical way in which you shared your experience about trusting the vehicle and allowing that to guide you and you work together. Surrendering in life and allowing the flow to be and do what is needed I too have been working on since being introduced to Serge Benhayon and it has simply changed my life completely. I feel more relaxed, at ease and enjoy life, even those tricky moments when I am still learning to just be me in them.
I agree, the way we drive, how we feel while driving can be a very practical gage on our steps meter.
“Tension takes away my decision-making capabilities.” I totally agree, Suzanne, and yet so much of life sees us being tense, or engaging in tense situations – including socially endorsed tension, usually called ‘excitement.’ but the truth is that this tension robs us of our sense, reason, and flow with life. Why, then, do so many consciously cultivate it?
Coleen, this is a good point. Why do so many cultivate tension, when it leads to a rise of nervous energy which is not a nice feeling?
Either we have control of our connection or something else is controlling us.
Absolutely spot on Matthew. We either choose to be in the drivers seat and choose what runs us, or we choose to be a passenger in life and have life run us.
It is not until I let myself feel the tension that I have the opportunity to let it go. My body is always more than willing to let it go – it knows how exhausting it is to be tense the whole time. In choosing to be aware of my body and its signaling, it is my choice to make this possible or not.
This is the perfect blog for me to read today. After having a few tense days making decisions connected with travel and connections between different Public transport. I recognise what you are saying about letting go and relaxing and trusting myself everything will work out fine. If something goes wrong I will deal with it in the moment!. But while ever I hang on tight to the reigns there is more scope for error. Thank you Susanne.
reigns”
A great blog, Suzanne, you really explain the way to deal with tension in the body so you can relax and let things work out smoothly and effortlessly. “A great start, “The lesson I learned from all this is that I can make friends with tension as it is there to show me something first and then it is up to me to make choices that either help release the tension or instead work with it in a way that best supports me.” I can relate to your explanation of deliberately physically letting go of the tension in all the areas that we tend to hold it, as you described, ‘loosen my grip on the wheel, sit back in my seat, release my shoulders’, yes, those are the areas I would have to look at in a similar situation, can remember using that method when doing a long distance drive once or twice. Yes, then let the car do its work, with a little gentle guiding and awareness. Then something that was stressful becomes something we can really enjoy. Thank you for sharing.
Beverley and Shirley-Ann your comments have got me wondering about the origins of some of the tension I feel. Referring to learning to drive opened me to the realisation of the pressure getting something “right” puts on the body. Whether it’s an exam or situation in life we can be so focused on the outer achievement with no focus on the connection to self, or putting the self first. Trusting myself and trusting the support all around me also feels like a big part of releasing tension.
I like the example you have illustrated whilst 4 wheel driving, and what you have presented is true, we are so much more equiped to deal with lifes challenges when we are connected to ourselves
It is amazing how much tension can take control of us unnecessarily if we choose to let it. I have been in many situations like you Suzanne and it feels so good to relax the body and let the tension go and take back the control.
And what blows me away every time is that when I let go of the tension, there is so much more space to attend to whatever it is I am doing.
It is quite incredible how much I can tense up in reaction to situations, my whole body can feel hardened and stiff. I realise that this is actually just a protection, mostly just protecting a old hurt that I do not want to have exposed. But with an open trust in myself, knowing that I can handle whatever life brings, my body remains loose and kind of fluid, there is a grace to its movements and my voice has a sweetness to it. This is the beauty of not being afraid.
I totally love what you have written at the end, Suzanne, about being a master of your life rather than the other way round and your car experience is such a great example of what the making of this choice looks like in action… thank you.
So apt reading this blog – I’d never considered tension being a friend that was telling me something and once I have read the message I can then let go of the tension as it has no further use.
I find myself hunching my shoulders when I am concentrating at work in front of the computer. I usually realise and then mechancially release my shoulders down. But what if I were to pause and feel what is it I am getting tense about, to acknowledge and choose to trust letting the tension go, feeling what is there beneath the tension that would otherwise be masked over?
I love this sharing Suzanne, it is amazing how we can tense up and continue on in our day with that, or become aware of it and let it go. It is exhausting for our muscles if we do not become aware of it as we use a lot of energy to stay in the tension. I have found that the Esoteric Yoga classes have been great in supporting me to be more aware of my body and any tension that I may be holding.
Thank you Suzanne, we experience tension all around us and developing a relationship with our bodies allows us to work with whatever is being presented without compromising the innate nature of our being.
Dear Suzanne, this was very helpful to me to read again today to identify the feeling in my body that was actually tension. It cleared with the simple awareness of my body and letting go, especially of the “holding”, and a realisation of needing to lighten up! The amount of tension in my body was really not appropriate to what is going on – great to feel the dramatic over reaction and pattern of deep tension. This little lady plans to do more lightening up 🙂
I can relate to what you are saying here, Melinda, I can find at times that I have tightened a particular area of my body, say in the thigh, or maybe having curled my toes up. Once I realise this, and feel the tension, I have learned to let go of the holding in that area, and what a relief it gives to the body. I find it is happening less and less now, as I become so much more aware of the patterns that I use to control things that I don’t like to feel. It becomes easier and easier to let this go as I become much more aware. Yes, it is a “dramatic over reaction and pattern of deep tension”. More lightening up for me too. How much more we can enjoy life this way.
I have been noticing also lately that there is a varying degree of background tension often present in my body that sometimes is so subtle I don’t even notice it straight away. Yet this tension if I allow it to be there definitely affects my ability to observe and read and understand any situation in front of me clearly. I then use my intellect to make up for this deficit in feeling and well it starts to go down hill from there and I end up in situations that are not great and not how I originally intended them to turn out. All from allowing this tension in my body!
Me too, Andrew: and what starts out as a 2mm chin jutting out can result in my whole spine going out of alignment – the chin is just the 1st step away from myself and the next steps unfold from there. It is so essential to be aware of the smallest of messages our bodies share with us.
Thanks Coleen, great that you linked this tension to a physical change in body posture or position – it is another great marker we can use to detect this tension or energetic shift in our bodies.
Such a simple thing to do Shirley-Ann and yet to lie flat and surrender into our bodies is such a brilliant way of connecting to ourselves fully and letting go of the tensions we hold in various parts of our body.
We cannot ever master life, we can only master one thing and that is our connection, the rest is not up to us.
I asked an exceptionally wise young man one day when the turning point for him came, as in, what happened to support him to choose to commit to living a life of love in full. His answer was when he accepted that tension never goes away. For me I can now feel that when I do this, there is no struggle in my body anymore. I accept the tension is there but can choose not to give it any power over me.
Wow. Lucy, thank you for this precious insight. Acceptance is clearly the key and then of course the oh-so-important choice!
Ah… ‘he accepted that tension never goes away’ – light bulb moment! Of course it doesn’t, it is always there. Simply being aware and accepting that it is always there is empowering. Once again, I am being reminded that it always comes back to me and my responsibility to be aware of the tension in my body and then what I choose to do with the tension.
Wise words Suzanne, “The lesson I learned from all this is that I can make friends with tension as it is there to show me something first and then it is up to me to make choices that either help release the tension or instead work with it in a way that best supports me”.
To master ourselves is to become a master of life.
Hi Suzanne, as I read your article I could really feel what it felt like to be behind the wheel of that car and begin to trust your body, wow! What a great metaphor for life, thank you.
‘The lesson I learned from all this is that I can make friends with tension as it is there to show me something first and then it is up to me to make choices that either help release the tension or instead work with it in a way that best supports me.’ What a great reminder Suzanne. Yes, I too have found myself on the edge of my seat in a tricky situation, or with my face in the computer screen when the task is challenging … it’s quite absurd that we do these things … coming back to the body is a great way to notice the tension then choose differently.
Hello Anne and I also agree a great and wise reminder for everyone. The choice just comes even just in the awareness of the tension and not walking past it. Without an awareness of even just having tension you can often think it’s normal, or it’s just how you are. Many of us walk around in tension year after year without even once seeing it. Articles like this are great because they bring practical everyday things we do into more awareness. Even right now typing and speaking to you I’m very aware if any tension comes up in my body, then just let it go (surrender), breathe and continue on.
As uncomfortable tension may be, it is an ally of awareness if we so choose to and not just settle for seeking relief.
These feel like words Yoda might share – very beautiful and wise.
Hello Alex and I agree it is always a choice. We are bombarded from left and right by the world that has only one thing in mind, to stop you feeling. If we take a moment when you sense a tension to just feel, even a small part, this as you say Alex will bring more awareness. It seems and reads so simple but yet we seemed to have made it all too difficult, tension equals stop.
Yes, tension asks us to stop, feel and realize what it is that we feel and most often to then deepen our connection with what we know to be truth and thus support ourselves and others to not be taken by the tension (not react) but raise our level of presence.
Essentially we are saying that if we choose then we can take the tension and the stop as an evolutionary point to deepen our presence and connection. If we live this way maybe we can begin to view tension not just as something uncomfortable but has a key to unlock what has been stuck or a integral stepping stone.
I have been aware of tension whilst driving when I’ve been caught up in driving on a dual carriageway, especially in rush hour, and everyone is driving fast, I’ve got caught up in the rush home tension. I can feel the tightness in my forearms from my hands holding the wheel and the tension in the back of my neck. It’s great to notice it, let go of it and change our posture, and not join the hubbub energy of others, knowing how it affects our decision making capabilities. Being a master of our own choices is empowering, thank you Suzanne.
Oh yes, gillrandall, I can relate to that description you give of driving on a dual carriageway, especially with huge trucks all around me, it is so easy to be caught up in the enormous tension that is being held by everyone all around me, as well as my own. Yes, the only way to deal with this for me is to really feel where the tension is being held in my body, and let it go, area by area and straighten my body gently. Once I am completely steady with myself, and deeply connected, it is amazing how I can then come to actually accept and enjoy the journey. Letting that tension go is so transforming in how I then perform the task in hand.
When we try to hang onto something so we don’t lose it… is when it slips away from us.
Absolutely Steve, it is matter of trust, when we trust, space is created and in space their is God, we are forever being held in Gods love so their is nothing to lose.
Hello Steve and I agree. It would seem to make no sense though. You would think that if you didn’t want to lose something you would hold onto it so so tight and that would be the answer but yet, as with so many things in this world, it’s upside down. There were many opportunities for me to see this when I was growing up. If something was really concerning me people would say, “just let it go”. I didn’t really know how to do this at the time but I would try. It wasn’t until Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon hit this on the head that I could finally see what that meant. As you say Steve, life is not what it seems and life isn’t something to hang onto but merely something to live, moment by moment. Life unfolds before our eyes if we allow it, or if you want it to look a certain way then life will repeat itself over and over until you ‘let it go’.
Life is interesting how we are like a dog with a bone and will adamantly refuse to let go! Sarahrayne you have made me remember the other comments about letting go that others have offered advice on in the past; will anyone or yourself die if you just walk away, cut your loses while your still ahead, why spend time and effort on something that is never going to happen… and all we did was growl.
We did growl Steve but what there is more to it than that? I had an interaction with my daughter yesterday, I told her something was going to happen and then it did happen. I thought to myself… why didn’t she listen? I realised after that it is common problem as a parent, an example is, you tell your teenager “don’t drink alcohol” but you have a glass of wine at night. We tell our kids one thing but don’t actually live it, we are then left wondering why they didn’t listen??
I find that lots of people told me to ‘let go and things will flow more’ but I could not hear it until it came from someone that actually lived there words and that was Serge Benhayon.
How many times were we told as children ‘do as I say not as I do’ and we wonder why teenagers don’t listen. I know I can hold my hand up to that one.
Same, I still have to catch myself out with my teenage daughter, if I want her to speak to me with respect, then I must hold her in the same regard.
That’s super wise Steve, I always find too the more I hold onto something the quicker it slips away – it’s such a great lesson in not attaching and owning things.
Recently I drove through a snow storm at night . I found my hands tight on the steering wheel and my whole body on alert as I maneouvered through the winding lanes and other traffic on the road. I found the more tense I was the more I became fixated on the snow and the temptation to be mesmerised by it as it came crashing towards me. By dropping into my body and constantly checking how I was with myself, looking after the way I was with me and the car, the easier it was to navigate and not get drawn in by the storm.
I can remember something similar here suddenly, elainearthey, when I was caught in a hailstorm, with quite big hailstones. Luckily I was in a big ‘troop carrier’, strongly made, many other drivers of smaller cars had pulled over to the side of the road, which was very windy and narrow leaving little room for other vehicles. I had no alternative but to continue driving, so I remember letting my body relax and just concentrating on the task in hand. I safely manoeuvred the vehicle the next few miles until I was free of the storm. By letting go the tension and really connecting to me I could feel that I was being guided by something deep within me as I completed the journey. It felt an amazing journey, which I will never forget, with no damage to me or the vehicle.
I love what you express Suzanne “I choose everyday to continue my relationship with my body so that I am the master of life, not the other way around.” I agree our relationship with our body supports us to be the master of our life.
Yes, I love this too: in my driving seat, both hands on the wheel and eyes on the road – the view is gorgeous and the clarity about where I am going is inspiring.
Yes I agree Mary-Louise great pick up. While it may sound to some a little ‘pipe dreamy’ it is spot on the way to live. You can deny it, not believe it, rubbish it and or turn and walk away but in the end you will come back to the same point to see the same thing a different way. Your body will never lead you astray, it may not look how ‘you want’ it to look but it will always be inline with where you need to be, “our body supports us to be the master of our life.”
The embodied understanding of tension being there to show you something Suzanne is superb and something for me to heed.
Acknowledging when there is tension being held physically and physiologically is sometimes all that is needed for it to start reducing.
I agree Deanne, that is so powerful in itself.
As you have pointed out Suzanne, trust is the key to surrender. Through surrendering, we allow for space to be created in our body. It is in this space that we come to know God.
“Being the master of life rather than the other way round” feels is an awesome way to live.
What a great observation you had Suzanne and then chose to drop the tension whilst driving the truck, which made all the difference. ” I knew the car could handle the track no problems, but only if it was driven in the right way…” This is very much like the way we travel through life too, in the sense that when we are feeling at ease, connected with our body, we can handle ‘the track’ (life) with no problems either. A great experience that has quite a parallel on the way we travel through life.
What a gorgeous comment Johanne, yes the more we build in love, trust and respect of the body by being connected to it, the more at ease we can be with life and what’s next. I can certainly relate to the tension and anxiety that comes from not being connected to my body and feeling unprepared for life.
Suzanne Anderssen this is a popping blog – it pops because from my body I understood and felt exactly what you are sharing. Tension can grip the body and even the smallest invitation to let go and unravel ourselves can change our experiences.
What a powerful reflection Susanne; going along for the ride, trusting your inner wisdom and letting go of the tension sounds beautiful to me.
I loved reading this blog Suzanne, trusting yourself and trusting the vehicle was key to the tension you were feeling. It reminded me of the tension I used to feel in groups, and how it is a choice to let go of the tension that can be felt while working together, feeling the tension is a great marker, one we can either work with, or against.
‘Making friends with tension” – such a gorgeous phrase Suzanne, something I would have never considered a while ago. I would have felt it, not liked what I felt and went to get a massage to make it go away. I don’t do that now as I recognise that tension is just a result of the choices that I have made. Now when I feel it, I simply make a new choice and let it go.
I loved that phrase too Jennifer – it’s something I am building a relationship with in accepting what I feel in the body and not trying to combat, fight or make it different. Where there is surrender there can be true healing.
“Where there is surrender there can be true healing” – I am slowly learning this too Rachael as I gradually develop a different realtionship with tension – we’re definitely not best buds yet (!) but I don’t fight or try to ignore it as much as I used to 😉
I love your comment Rachael, I totally agree where there is surrender there is healing… Learning to surrender and let go of any fight we have is huge.
Are there two types of tension?
The physical one that we can actually feel in our muscles and joints which is the one we can let go of to make our bodies freer and more spacious.
And the inner one, which is the tension that will always be there whilst life is lived so far from our natural, loving and unified way. I see this second tension as an inspiration and impulse to be always evolving and developing to this way of life.
That makes sense Matilda. I wonder would the inner tension play out physically as the physical tension we feel in our bodies and when we know we can allow ourselves to let go of this, then shows us that we can also let go of the tension we hold as we evolve. Either way it’s very beautiful as we can constantly feel we are more and that our body is the key to feeling this.
Yes it feels to me that we can experience the physical tension when we do not surrender to our inner one and trust that our body knows exactly which way to go and what to do in order to bring us to this Universal Order. When we allow our mind to take over, it can easily jar our body in the process. This can lead to created situations whereby we compromise our body or move in a way that is not harmonious or congruous with its true way, and physical tension can result.
Hello Matilda and yes there are many forms of tension but the way to approach them is the same, stop and feel. Many times when I say ‘stop’ I have a picture of this long winded thing but it’s not. A stop can be a second or it can be longer, a pause maybe. The stop should have enough time to allow the tension to settle, if it doesn’t the first time it may need a consistent check in or stop over a period, many little moments together to release your body.
Beautifully expressed Matilda.
By letting go of the physical tension in our muscles it supports us to be able to recognise and feel the inner tension which although will always be there, can be felt as inspiration as you says Matilda and not a problem or issue.
A very beautiful and practical example of feeling the effects of tension in your body and then making a choice of letting that go.
Yes Jennifer, I find it so much easier to connect to something that is presented with such a practical example – so very real and relateable.
Our body is our wise counsel – listen and you shall receive truth.
Beautifully said Marcia, our bodies hold incredible truth always, it makes perfect sense to connect to the body and move from there.
Wow this last sentence of yours Suzanne: ” It is because of Serge Benhayon’s continued commitment to humanity and truth that I choose everyday to continue my relationship with my body so that I am the master of life, not the other way around.” You have really nailed what Serge Benhayon actually represents. He is of course one man, but so much more in the activity of love that he constantly brings and in what can be chosen to align with and chosen as support for the same activity of love in our lives. And being master of life and not the other way around – masterfully expressed Suzanne! 🙂
Having tension as my friend instead of fighting and reacting to it sounds like a great way forward. Thank you Suzanne.
Yes we could all learn a lot from this one!
True, and we would feel so much more empowered as tension IS our friend, there to support us and show us what is true and what is not.
Yes the thing I actually always wanted in my life. Someone to tell what is true and what is not. I looked for it outside of myself in other people but it was and is in my body all along.
Epic blog Suzanne, your experience is super-inspiring and applicable to so many situations. The next time I feel tension creeping in as I’m sitting at my desk at work, I’ll remember this blog, sit back in my seat and work with the task at hand and the program I am using, rather than feeling I have to hold myself tight and battle my way through. Thank you so much for sharing 🙂
That’s just it Hannah, the “fighting through” or struggle is like a default program. It’s great to be able to change these patterns of tension.
Absolutely Melinda, these patterns or defaults really don’t support us so it’s great to have the opportunity to examine them a little more closely and begin to let them go.
I agree, Hannah, it is awful that feeling that we have to hold ourselves tight and battle our way through, it feels so damaging to my body to do that. Much better to sit back, let the tension go, and let the doing of the job at hand just flow naturally. A much better way to be living in my book. But I have to remember to do this, not crouch over the work in the old way that I used to do things when I was under tension.
Yes Beverley, that’s why I so appreciate this awesome reminder from Suzanne. Until, with commitment and practice, making friends with the tension becomes our new normal, we will feel a constant pull to go back to the old “hunch and battle”!
I agree Beverley, ‘it is awful that feeling that we have to hold ourselves tight and battle our way through, it feels so damaging to my body to do that.’ I find if I am running late and I’m in the car that my old pattern is to rush, lean forward to try and get there sooner, tense my shoulders up and feel extremely anxious, this feels really awful in the body. Nowadays if I’m running late I keep coming back to my body, to letting my shoulders drop, to sitting back as I know that I will not get to where I need to go any sooner by rushing and being anxious – in fact I find it takes me longer as usually a tractor or something slow will pull up in front of me and I arrive feeling terrible… much better to go with the flow.
Yes Hannah battling through only makes the tension feel worse. When we stop and feel our bodies we can start a conversation with ourselves and what’s going on to cause the tension in the first place. What a great way to support our bodies.
Love that Kelly – actually making friends with and starting a conversation with our bodies, rather than trying to ignore or fight the tension.
This blog and these comments are pretty amazing, the ‘grin and bare it’ or battle through with the tension, trying to make life appear functional while there is a tension occurring in the body is a massive form of self-abuse. We see the tension as the enemy but it is not, it’s the reaction to the tension that creates more tension and then all the situations we end up in.
Super keen observation Leigh – and so very true, feeling tension is fine – natural even with all that goes on in our lives. But as you say it’s the reacting to the tension that causes the issue, either in pushing it down and pretending it’s not there or freaking out about what to do about it. I’ve found that simply acknowledging it is all that is needed – rather than trying to “fix” it.
The tension will never go away – it’s our relationship to it that determines whether we let it rule us or not.
Great revelation to confim yourself with trust instead to loose yourself in anxiety, Suzanne.
Great observation Suzanne. Just because something is hard work does not mean we have to become hard to do the work.
Love it Adam. The playfulness we can bring to our activity.
After reading this blog the other day I was paying more attention to the tension I held in my body whilst driving to and from work, and the tension during typing on the computer. Also playing with what it is that makes me feel tense, as in is it my thoughts, is it my posture, am I feeling anxious about my deadlines, am I rushing to make an appointment or have I reacted to a situation – so when the author of this blog wrote about making friends with tension it makes sense as there is so much to learn from it.
So simple but really works.. Interesting how the simple things in life are the easiest to forget.. Our body works with what it has. If we offer tension, it works with that. If we stop and drop the tension, relax the muscles it goes with it.. I know how both work and defiantly know what one I love more.. I’m still learning and remembering there is another choice other then tension and i can chose it and how good it feels when i do and let my body surrender 🙂
I have driven in tension too and really, when did clutching the steering wheel tightly and hunching forward ever improve my driving? When this happens I have realised and relaxed too. It is so interesting to read our bodies and to be aware of how we hold them in different situations. I can find even commenting on blogs, that I can tense up and be worried about what I am writing or getting enough done. This has never helped the flow of what I am writing and to be able to be aware of this and to relax and allow what needs to be said, to come is very supportive.
So true Jane “everything in the world offers us a reflection and learning when we are open to it” that stood out to me as I read this blog as well. We are presented with opportunities all of the time and through awareness and conscious presence we have the opportunity to learn so much about how we are in our bodies and the world and take these opportunities to deepen our stillness and be more of who we truly are offing humanity a true reflection of Love. .
What a valuable learning you r 4 wheel drive trip offered you Suzanne. I know for me recently I have notice the tension I hold in my body when driving my small smooth car and also when I’m just a passenger in a four wheel drive every time I see a bump coming I brace my body ready for it. It has brought me more awareness of tension in my body with every move I make no matter what I am doing. This awareness has offered me an opportunity to clock it and release it and by doing this I am forever deepening my stillness.
‘Universal Medicine, and specifically Serge Benhayon, have been integral in developing my understanding of how the body works and responds to situations and emotions in a very practical way. It is because of Serge Benhayon’s continued commitment to humanity and truth that I choose everyday to continue my relationship with my body so that I am the master of life, not the other way around.’ beautifully said Suzanne.
A great observation Suzanne – and to be applied everywhere , in the office, at the kitchen sink, eating dinner and going for a walk. How are we moving in our life?
Yes there can often be a feeling that we a one step ahead of ourselves and not fully embodied in life. I ask what is the rush and where are we so keen to get to?
The tension is there in the body allowing us to feel how we have been pushing the body, and driving it against it’s natural rhythm of harmony and flow.
Today I was driving home in the dark, in very bad weather on a not so great and very busy road. And then I was reminded of your blog and really allowed myself to feel my body, the tension that had come in a little bit and then let go. I notice when I am really focussed I lose the connection with my body a little and the tension comes. And a great reminder of just how valuable our sharing are.
Thank you for this great reminder Suzanne. It was really funny reading how you were leaning forward in the car and I found I was doing exactly the same reading your blog. Therefore, as I read your blog I was immediately able to put your reminder into action and sit back, relax my shoulders and connect deeper to my body.
I find incredibly beneficial and joyful to stay connected to my body and to be aware of my movements. Therefore, it is quite surprising to see how often and how quickly I can slip into some form of tension or holding as you have described. Bringing myself back to my body and the healing that offers is a constant choice.
Yes Nicola, it takes a definite commitment and dedication but boy is it worth it!
“The lesson I learned from all this is that I can make friends with tension” What a humdinger of a lesson Suzanne, friends like this make the world go round!
and a true friend it is lucindag…our body’s way of saying but this is not who you are. Let go and just be yourself.
While reading your blog Suzanne I acknowledged that I grip the steering wheel with such hardness. When I recognize what I am doing I release my grip but after a while I find myself holding on in the hardness again. So today I checked my posture and the height of the steering wheel. The wheel was too high so I have made the adjustment. Small adjustments can alter any experience.
When I drive now Lindell I always check firstly how I sit in the car, but then I constantly check in with how I am holding the wheel and how my arms feel. I find this very supportive to get to my destination without feeling exhausted from holding my body so tight.
Making friends with tension is a great way to look at something that is pretty prevalent in our lives.
This is a great example of the power of our choices, do we resist what is happening and therefore create tension, or allow it and therefore accept what we cannot change, but not react to this or retaliate with tension. But to allow is to be open and supportive for our bodies.
Insecurity does create tension. In your example it is like the whole body wants to ‘help’ to drive. So in insecurity we create more tension than necessary. But the whole body just feels to ‘help’ if it does not trust in the parts which have to do their job. I found that I have to step into my authority, have to claim my power in full, to be able to let just the part of me work which is needed.
After reading this today I had this image/feeling of how our connective tissue would respond instantly with both scenarios, held anxiousness/tension or letting go and trusting. One big time limits movement, and the other allows a free flow and a natural rhythm along with our thought processes. Our bodies are just amazing.
That’s an awesome lesson and it sounds like fun too (what you learnt from it and 4 wheel driving). A great reminder in how we can either let things ‘run’ us, like tension, frustration, stress, or quickly see how this is affecting us, learn from it and change our body, position, thoughts to let this go.
It never ceases to amaze me how tasks that can seem overwhelming become very easy when the principle of getting our racy thoughts out of the way and staying connected to what is being felt in the body. It confirms to me more and more that we are masters in our bodies and that we have a wisdom way beyond what we seem willing to accept and certainly way beyond the level that I currently operate and live from. It makes perfect sense to me that the thoughts we have govern our actions and we either heal or harm in every action we make, in writing this I can feel the importance and responsibility in writing gently, and making every move about a deeper level of tenderness and thus awareness.
Hi Suzanne, ‘The same thing happens at work. I am aware I can hunch up and move closer to the computer screen when my work becomes more complex’ I recognise this behaviour when my work gets super busy this is what I find myself doing and I make the conscious choice to let go of the tension and trust, knowing I will complete what needs to be done and if necessary the rest can wait. It allows my body to release the tension and I become much more productive than when I’m in a tense state.
This is a great blog and sharing about our bodies and the importance of listening to it and all that it is constantly showing us. Our body is our own teacher and shows us everything we need to learn , No wonder when we do not want to listen we do everything to ingnore its teachings with what we choose to eat and how we choose to live.
“I knew the car could handle the track no problems, but only if it was driven in the right way.” I love the refections throughout this blog of the car to the body as I have found our body can handle a lot of situations in life as long as we prepare and treat it lovingly and listen when it is feeling a strain or tension. Thank you Suzanne.
Suzanne, there is such delight and equal wisdom in what you have shared.
The body is indeed a direct reflection of how we feel and thus our best teacher, always seeking and supportive of choosing ease and harmony.
Yeah. Our body is the mirror of what is going on in our inside. If we want to be aware it is not just worth to have a look, but a responsibility.
Great insight: “Tension takes away my decision-making capabilities.” I have even noticed it just on an urban road, this automatic reaction to tighten my body, hunch my shoulders, harden my grip – using all these muscles that could just be standing by instead of making the body less spacious.
Yes Suzanne, I realised too when work gets tense, I tend to lean forward towards the computer screen. My shoulders are tight and my whole body hardens. The same with car driving. Choosing to relax is wise in stressful situations as it allows space and to breathe again.
We can often override the tension in our body by doing things that cause more tension, layering more and more tension in the body. We seek relief by distraction, food and exercise, but really all we do is squeeze more and more into our precious body.
Very true matthew when I think back to the hardness, tension and anxiousness I lived with in my body and had absolutely no idea I was even hard and running my body on nervous energy. The more I am with myself in my body the more awareness I have and the more opportunities I am presented to release the dis-harmony in my body through self-love deepening my connection with my true sell and bringing stillness in my body.
This is awesome Suzanne! So simple and such a powerful explanation of how tension can impact our lives. I love how you have spoken about ‘making friends with the tension’ in order to observe it, and learn from it. I have definitely been doing this more in my own body and what I have allowed myself to be open to learning, simply by observing has been life-changing. Thank you for the reflection!
We always feel tension in our life in some way, whether it is by trying something new, or feeling that we should try something new and holding back on it, or driving in traffic, or talking to someone, etc. etc. etc. What I love about this Suzanne, is that you show us that tension is there to show us something and to build a relationship with it as a sign in our bodies that we are resisting something. That something may be small or it may be huge, but that is what it is telling us and that is an important thing to know. So, to try to build an idealised ‘stress-free life’ which is completely tension free is not only impossible, but robs us of this important relationship with ourselves.
It’s interesting how we brace ourselves in life when we perceive that life will be difficult, yet a lot of the time it is fine. However, it’s a bit late as the tension is already in the body from being in the brace position, causing stress and tension unnecessarily.
Yes so much wasted energy is spent in projecting into some future maybe. We never really know how something will be in the future, we only truly know how it is right at this moment… and when we stay with that we can always handle the moment we are in.
I know that feeling of tensing up whilst driving and as you do so leaning forwards. I tend to do it on roads at night when there are not many street lights but I’ve learnt how tired I am at the other end if I drive like this. So now I consciously relax my shoulders and arms and feel my hand on the steering wheel as I drive. The car then feels like a pleasure to drive, it feels like a support and not something I’m trying to fight.
I love how you have so clearly and graphically shared how to practically not to go into anxiousness but to stay connected and relaxed with what needs to be done in a situation where there is stress, or the potential for it.
Thank you for sharing your experience of letting go of tension and trusting yourself to respond accordingly to what was being presented. This can applied to all moments in life. Very awesome.
‘Being the master of life’ WOW cool, I LOVE that Suzanne. Through our body we can access the depth of presence that brings all the knowing we could ever need.
Reading this really makes me realise just how much we worry about not being in control.
I wonder Michael where this notion of being in control originated from? As we all seem to think we need to be in control and what exactly are we trying to control?
Great questions – I feel that we often try to control the situations and people around us in order not to have to face our past choices and the hurts caused – such is our pride.
Great answer Michael. We surrender to our pride instead of surrendering to our glorious love within.
I am learning also to have a relationship with tension where I stop, connect to my body and feel what messages it is giving me. This is different to in the past where I would ignore the tension (using thoughts, food or intense physical activity). I find that my body is talking to me 24/7 about what supports it and what doesn’t. I love how your experience here Suzanne shows us that when we take our cues from our body we can find a very natural flow and rhythm – great that you surrendered and trusted in this!
I know this oh so well Suzanne, holding this tension in my body and fighting with it instead of just letting go and surrendering into the situation at hand and allowing things to flow, as you so beautifully did.
Absolutely gorgeous article, Suzanne – I love how you shared your very practical example of how you worked with the wisdom of your body, observing your tension, then choosing to allow your body to resume it’s natural gentleness, allowing you to trust in yourself and your car.
Suzanne thanks for sharing your experience of observing tension and your choice to surrender to it! I could relate in regards to the tension I go into at work when I feel I have too much on my plate, and you are correct as I do not make clear decisions! I will take what you have learnt more deeply into observing how tension plays out for me at work, and then choose another way!
There are times when I ignore my observations of tension in my body and push on through a very racy driven day and end up exhausted and actually achieve little of what I have been trying to achieve. When I am willing to listen to my body and after observing tension in my body and choose to surrender to it, I feel it release, I take a breath adjust my posture and am able to reconnect with my body and then everything I was trying to do just falls into place without me losing my vitality. That doesn’t mean things go the way I planned them to go necessarily.
I remember having to do a lot of off-road driving in remote places. Often the dirt roads were in poor condition with deep track marks. Initially I would try to avoid these but the troopy would automatically redirect itself to the deep tracks in the dirt. Then I learnt it was much safer to allow the vehicle to follow the tracks. I could surrender to it as the car went where it needed to rather than try to fight it. It is like trusting the body. It does know what to do and sometimes we can fight its intelligence.
“We can become friends with tension” – that’s a great way of looking at tension as showing us something in life. That would really change how we sit and move if we asked ourselves ‘why’ we were slouching or tensed up, rather than just trying to correct the behaviours.
Great blog Suzanne, what we perceive as a negative may well be a positive if we take heed and listen to it’s calling.
Yes everything we perceive as a negative has something to teach us so that is a positive, that is so true kimwester2 and its often what we see as a small thing we often ignore and has the most to teach us, but that’s ok because it will grow into a big thing and slam us until we do get it.
I like that Margaret, ‘it will grow into a big thing and slam us until we do get it’. There is no escaping what lessons we have come to learn.
Awesome Suzanne. What a great example of feeling and addressing tension in our bodies. Sometimes you don’t have to stop doing what your doing (and sometimes you do) but instead just trust. It’s seems it’s not only the car you trusted but your own awesome ability to work with the car and that everything would be okay. Something I think we all need a little bit more of- trust.
The tension is something we cannot stop in life and should we listen to it….is yet another way our incredible bodies speak to us.
This is a great colorful example, of how what we are experiencing is always the after effect of the state of energy we are in. How often as a student, I was working through the nights, wanting to print out the result in the morning, but the printer wouldn’t work for no technical reason… In Germany the word for printer and the word for pressure are the same… so very obvious message from my energy in matter.
This is great Suzanne. I love the way you describe the process of ‘making friends’ with tension and simply using the tension you felt as a signal to reconnect to your body.
It can be an automatic response to brace ourselves or tense up when in a challenging situation. It is actually in the surrendering to what the body is feeling that we can deal with what is called for.
To observe and not absorb. : )
Suzanne this is a great example of feeling the tension starting to take away your decision-making capabilities but not falling victim to the tension. By re-connecting with you body in breath, hands, shoulders and posture you have mastered the situation rather than allowing it to master you. This made me think that of most of my life choices have been made out of fear, and I would do better to stop and reconnect with my body as you have done Suzanne.
Great practical example Suzanne, the body is so willing to cooperate when we surrender to it.
Yes, Victoria. I am surprised by how quickly my body adjusts when we let go and surrender.
Yes it is willing and as I have got to know my body more when it is not tense I then recognise more easily when tension creeps in.
absolutely it is like a rubber band you let go of, it immediately finds it way back to it’s natural state of being.
Makes me wonder who is surrendering and who is cooperating 😉
You reveal the fact that the body knows best and naturally seeks what is truly harmonious and forever offering us its natural wisdom, but nevertheless can be forced into a state of disharmony. So that part which can make choices that are in dis-accord to the body´s natural choices, and in that sense is governing the body, is best advised to listen to the body to then make choices in accordance with the body´s wisdom. It is the seeming conundrum of leading by obeying.
One thing I do know is the body doesn’t lie, whereas the mind can be a trickster when operating alone. Bringing both into alignment supports us back to harmony.
Yes, that tension hardens. And that’s so often been my way to combat tension – just get harder. Work with the body and we’ll find gentleness is the key.
I love this Suzanne. Tension is something most of us experience in varying degrees through our daily living. And what you have presented shows how tension actually can guide us to make choices that support us to deepen our connection with ourselves and so with life. It is through our relationship with our bodies that we are guided best. As it is our bodies that show us when we have left our knowing and trust, our connection to ourselves, and are instead responding with strain or a force that does not reflect the true potential of what is possible, or support the true purpose of that situation. I have also been learning the more I trust and allow myself to be guided by my body, the more I am present with what is needed in that moment and I then respond in a true way that naturally flows as I bring my all the situation.
I love this line Suzanne “it felt very much like the car was an extension of my body and together we totally nailed the track!”. It reminds me that sometimes we need to surrender to our bodies, let go of the tension and simply trust in what we are feeling.
What I learned from your blog is the possibility of dealing with the tension in the heat of the moment. Rather then staying with the tension while completing the task (or the ride:-)). And how in the moment that you choose that the mastery of Life came back instantly and you could enjoy the rest of the ride. This is a master(!!!)piece of Heaven on Earth.
I love it Floris, how you call it the “mastery of life” and I agree if we are willing to let go and surrender to the flow of things we do bring Heaven to earth and it is always a masterpiece.
Yes Judith, and it’s taking the pressure off to accomplish something. As we’re the masters of life, we can stop making life about doing, but rather enjoy being with ourselves in every ‘masterpiece’ we’re delivering.
Knowing our body and listening to its communications is empowering. Awareness of the way we are in differing situations allows us to makes choices that facilitate the most loving outcomes for ourselves, others and the situation as it is presenting. As you stated in your blog – ‘I was bracing myself because I was in an unusual situation that in turn was making me even more tense’, being aware means we can make the choice for change. Thanks Suzanne
“Tension takes away my decision-making capabilities.” It does narrow everything down and leaves out certain options.
Tension really tends to reduce us to making choices for the sake of relief or survival.
And most decisions made from tension only take our own interest into consideration and we forget that there is a decision where everybody is taken into account and benefits from.
“I can make friends with tension as it is there to show me something first and then it is up to me to make choices that either help release the tension or instead work with it in a way that best supports me.” Beautiful to embrace the tension instead of only wanting to get rid of it.
It is something to definitely ponder on and try out for oneself, I agree Monika, as we are usually quick in getting rid of or avoiding any tension.
Even pondering on it reduces the tension. And not seeing tension as the enemy, but as the learning it offers is very freeing.
Life is always offering us reflections, and opportunities…even in our “down time”. I am hesitant to say that life is our classroom because our memories of school may make that sound rather heavy and dull, full of pointless homework and dry facts to remember. Life’s lessons are anything but that. They can be as fun as driving a car on a track, a walk through the park… any and every moment is rich with possibility for greater understanding of ourselves.
Its interesting to observe our bodies reaction to stress and tension- so much hardening. But as you illustrated Suzanne it is so different when we just allow our bodies to feel without the reaction. A great example.
The fact of getting stuck and responding with tension seems to be a ‘normal’ response until we know that we can choose another way. As you say Suzanne, the tension adds to the issue and it muddles the head and takes away the decision making capabilities. A different way to be is to recognise as soon as we feel the tension, then with that increased awareness, we can choose NOT to respond in this way.
Beautiful Suzanne, I can completely concur, it was not until I was introduced to the work of Serge Benhayon that i realised there even was a conversation to be had with my body. It became clear how quickly i discounted impulses that would come up from inside, its a work in progress but today i am truly humbled by the love and intelligence that is consistently offered by my body.
This is a great reflection for us all Suzanne. Your choice to not hold onto the tension in your body is inspiring and goes to show how much of an imapct we can have on situations if we simply choose to stop for a moment and listen to our bodies. If we all embraced this simple technique, not only would it be life changing for us all, but it would change the world we live in.
This is beautiful, and inspiring. I don’t like feeling tension in my body, and I often take it as a ‘don’t go there’ sign, and reading your sharing, I realise I was making it all about what I was doing, rather than how I was doing.
Tension kind of creeps into the body, but it begins in the mind in the first place. There’s some kind of imbalance or disharmony going on in our thoughts and reactions and the tension in our bodies is the way that it tells us – hey, what’s going on, what am I feeling. What a beautiful science.
Yes Jinya, we are the ultimate science experiment. Who needs bunson burners when we naturally have a fiery flame within.
I love your playfulness here Marcia, and its true what you share, ‘Who needs bunson burners when we naturally have a fiery flame within.’
Seeing moments of tension as opportunities to learn and grow brings deeper understanding and awareness of life in our lives.
‘Tension takes away my decision-making capabilities.’, you have made an important link here Suzanne, we often hear that alcohol affects our clarity and ability to make decisions, it is great to read so clearly that we put ourselves into these states on a regular basis, without alcohol. Responsible driving is at a whole new level here now.
We certainly do put ourselves in these states on a regular basis and it doesn’t need consumption of chemicals to do it! I have observed in my students on many an occasion where they are asked to do something and the immediate response is to go into overwhelm or anxiousness. When they do this they are blocking any creative thought processes in the brain that may support them to do the work. What is happening here is a demonstration of how little they trust themselves or their bodies, and go into fight or flight mode. When we do not confirm a child for who they are and only give them praise or encouragement for what they do well it is an automatic way of ensuring anxiousness and tension. If a person grows up thinking that they are only worth a “good” result and struggle with what they are being asked to do and feel constantly rejected by “failure”, fight or flight responses becomes an ingrained pattern.
A great reminder to recognise when we are in tension and to simply let go, thank you Suzanne.
“So I listened to how my body was feeling …” If there is anyone we need to be listening to 24/7 – its our body.
Our body is constantly giving the best of advice we might get anywhere – and all we have to do is listen to it.
Yes, and I love your little 24/7 reminder, so we don’t switch the listening on and off depending on how it suits us.
Well said Marcia as 24/7 our bodies are with us. It would be wise and makes sense to be with our bodies 24/7 in return.
Well said Marcia.
When I feel tension I may want to eat something to comfort or numb myself. Yesterday I had these cravings but it felt like it was from my mind and that my body was saying “I don’t need that sort of food, go home and cook something that is nourishing.” I trusted my body and thanked it later.
The body is the display of our state of being and the best advisor to make choices that lead to more harmony. The body is the perfect teacher, never judging or pushing but always reflecting truth to expand our awareness and levels of responsibility.
What a great example you have used to illustrate and I so agree Suzanne, “Tension takes away my decision making capabilities.” I have been noticing this more and more in my working day too and finding that whenever I bring myself back from the imagined scenario’s and expectations that create the tension, what is naturally there to unfold does so simply and without complication. It seems that when I melt everything else does too and all falls into its rightful place. I feel as you do that the tension is actually there to show us something and we have a choice what we do with it. I feel that I am learning a lot about surrender.
Love what you’re saying Suzanne, I’ve experienced the same, both with cars but in everyday life as well with some tasks that when I relax and let things unfold, me trusting, they will, then everything seems to work out in some magical way.
It is interesting how we often don´t even really realize, that we ARE in tension. This is the first step- to have the ability to stop and feel into and then let go of it or use it like Suzanne to actually extend yourself .
Well said Steffihenn, I know for myself that I am constantly feeling into different tensions in my body. What I am embracing in full is once I am aware of a tension and note it, that it changes, sometimes in moments, other times it can take weeks or months to release. But release it does.
I love how you transformed the tension into an extension of yourself…I will stop the next moment when I feel tension and will give it a try too 🙂
Driving this way of trusting and gentleness with out the anxiousness and stress is an amazing metaphor for life.
This is a great refection and offers so much learning about stress tension and our bodies. Learning trust and letting go of tension and stress as a way of living is a real gift to our bodies our health and the world. The true way of living and the reflection and commitment to this is inspired by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and is a real gift offered to the world to connect to also.
A lovely lesson and great awareness that tension is there to show us something. It seems to me our bodies are constantly presenting us with wisdom if we choose to hear it.
Suzanne, after reading your article yesterday I was in a situation where I was late for an appointment, usually i would rush and drive faster, leaning forward trying to get there quickly, this always feels awful in my body, this time remembering your blog I did not do this, I stayed with me and trusted that I would get where i needed and so I sat back and drove gently, amazingly i arrived early and without the usual tension in my body from hurrying, it was great to make the conscious choice to drive gently and carefully and to stay with me.
That is a beautiful sharing of how to stay in contact with what is there to be unfolded in every moment. So we wont lose any moment that leads us to the next… This is what the body’s strength and beauty is.
That is really cool rebeccawingrave. I will remember this next time I am running late and wanting to rush.
An interesting expose of how easily we can find ourselves caught up in tension when we do not trust ourselves. My default setting is quite often one of putting my whole body into a state of tension in order to carry out a task rather than letting my body lead the way and allowing me to feel into what will best serve each situation.
I find interesting that when we are not driving in usual conditions, we become aware of our internal drive to control and how much tension that builds in the body.
Yes agree Eduardo, often it is not until we are out of our ‘comfort’ zone in life that we start to be aware of what has been driving us.
Yes, it is really easy to feel this when driving as you say Eduardo.
Sitting back, loosening the grip on the wheel and trusting, including the fact that we are absolutely capable of being in the drivers seat. Sounds like a great metaphor for life.
It is a great metaphor, neither underdoing nor overdoing it and relaxing all the way!
I’m often catching myself feeling tension in my body – and as you share so clearly Suzanne its how we work with this felt tension in the body as to the final end result. How we choose to listen and work with this makes a huge difference. To recognise and to ‘Make friends with tension’ feels very supportive and to not hold tight and brace against it.
Love this line Suzanne, I knew the car could handle the track no problems, but only if it was driven in the right way. Such a great analogy for life, in that if we honour and respect our bodies in everything we do, we can handle everything that comes our way because the wisdom that our bodies hold can easily be communicated to us.
The way our body speaks is so clear, that you think we would never get past the threshold, but I can feel I still often do. But this shows that we always can come back by making some simple choices. Taking the time to connect to our bodies in full, and regain control as you literally present in this blog.
I just came from visiting my dentist and this trip was very different from other trips. Having read your blog yesterday, today at the dentist I decided that every time I felt tension begin to creep into my body, that I would surrender. I observed the usual patterns of discomfort arise and in that moment I asked myself to surrender. I did this during the full 30 minute visit and it was a super beautiful experience. As you have experienced Suzanne, we can apply this in all situations, surrender our body to the divine will of God and with this magic happens.
I’ve had a similar experience at the dentist where I feel my body tense up and those make the conscious choice to surrender and let go. Sometimes I need to keep making this decision as I might tense up with the sounds and sensations but it really makes for a pleasant trip to the dentist – I actually enjoy it.
Thank you Suzanne for your writing.
I know the tension you speak of very well and how when I allow this it shuts down my capacity to respond to what is before me too.
Your article is inspiring – even now as I type on my iPhone I am prompted to relax my grip, and my body in the chair and to more deeply trust and enjoy myself. I have often observed Serge Benhayon sitting in this trusting way, totally at ease with and enjoying himself while presenting or observing others present. Until now I had not allowed myself to truly surrender and feel what this may be like for myself. Your practical example has supported this, thank you.
Thanks for the inspiration that it’s in all the moments that make up our day where we can be aware of tension, and then make a conscious decision to understand what’s happening and work with it. Tension for me, especially nervous tension, is very draining, however I’m used to living with it so every little awareness of its presence in my body helps.
‘Tension takes away my decision-making capabilities.’ This line jumped out at me Suzanne. I can see how it applies to me. The bracing and anticipating can create problems that were never going to happen. How inspiring that you were able to recognise the tension and then choose to let it go.
That feeling of ‘bracing’ you speak of Debra is well known. We have a joke in our family and call “brace, brace” when we feel it. They use it on airlines as the call sign to take the emergency position – and I think it’s very apt, hence why we use it. It’s not only a mental awareness but a real physical reaction within, which hardens and holds, and as you say can create problems that were never going to happen.
What a fabulous, playful thing to do Jenny! Saying brace brace makes being aware of the tension and or anxiety in such a relaxed and easy manner, which in turn makes it much easier to address and choose the next step.
Yes I’ve experienced that too Debra – “The bracing and anticipating can create problems that were never going to happen.” It’s one thing to be prepared and aware of a situation and what’s needed and another to get lost in all the possible problems that could occur!
This is what jumped out at me too Debra. I never used to like the feeling of tension in my body and the anxiety that usually accompanied it so I would do everything to avoid it by numbing myself with chocolate or putting myself into a drive so I was too busy to feel the tension. Allowing myself to feel the tension is the first step and then back tracking to what caused it in the first place has meant that I very rarely carry tension in my body like I used to do.
Agreed Debra, when i feel tense its like my body becomes locked off from any of its natural impulses, my concentration goes and my head takes over.
yes we loose our natural rhythm and flow throughout our bodies…which is so lovely to feel.
This is a great point Deborah, when tension is reduced in my body my ability to focus and concentrate increases.
Yes this is key Debra ‘letting it go’ for it does not in anyway, shape or form support us or anyone else.
Thank you Suzanne, anxiety is a huge problem in todays world and when we learn to use the mechanisms as presented by Serge Benhayon to observe and not absorb, which is presented so well in the below online course! For a truly amazing study on anxiety, see below!
Understanding Anxiety in Men – ONLINE COURSE
http://study.coum.org/enrol/index.php?id=14
Suzanne, this is such a great blog on claiming our own bodies. Most often people would consider tension a bad thing, but it is in fact only what we choose to do with the signs of tension that determine it is a ‘bad thing’ …or we can understand that it is there to show us something and from that point, choose to work with it to support ourselves.
Super well said Rosanna. It’s not a bad thing, it’s just the way our body is communicating. Saying that we can be a different way with what is going on.
Yes Emily and Kristy, what I’m very aware of as I sit here this morning is how anything we feel in the body; tension, ache, stiffness, pain, are all not necessarily bad things…simply opportunities to acknowledge what’s going on, learn, choose differently … and most definitely appreciate that our bodies are such amazing instruments of communication!
I can so relate to your blog Suzanne, the way you chose to connect to your body and your awareness is inspiring. Trusting yourself, your ability and your 4WD was incredible. Most of us live with tension in our body, we are so used to it that we are often not aware of it. By being aware, we can then make different choices.
I can relate to this too chanly88 and for several decades lived with anxiousness and tension that I didn’t even know I had! At the time, I didn’t ever really stop to the notice of the constant signals my body was giving me (tight shoulders, sore back, feeling racy and jittery, not being able to focus on the task at hand etc) and in fact did lots of things to distract myself from feeling what I ‘was’ feeling! It was a big – but at the same time simple – step, to become honest and be more aware of my body and with this taking responsibility for the choices I had made which led to the tension. I can’t say I never feel tension or anxiousness but am so much more aware of it when I do slip into this pattern, simply by being more aware of my body and learning to look after it!
Angela I think you are sharing an insight most of us can relate to. I know for sure I didn’t clock the amount of tension I was living with. It seems a little crazy to me now that I didn’t, but until I was lovingly shown I wasn’t open to admitting it. Like you, in a new awareness it is much easier to admit to myself when I am in this pattern and to make different choices.
Very true, when we become aware of the tension in our bodies, we can choose differently. And when we choose differently and the tension in our body lessens, we can see what a huge amount of tension has been accumulated.
True michael. I have noticed that even when I am doing non stress related tasks I still hold my body in tension to some degree. A show of its accumulation and how used to it I am. I’m guessing this is the case for many- always in a brace condition. I wonder what effect this is having on my health and the way my body runs.
We so often find ourselves medically treating the end result of stress and tension, but never ever address the underlying cause.
Matthew I was reflecting on this blog yesterday and this morning, the more “tension” or “hardening” I go into during the day the worse my sleep is. The more care and attention I pay with the way I am, be it sitting, working, talking etc.. the better the quality of my sleep. A simple process that shows we have a choice in our health in every moment.
I agree Matthew, long term stress and tension adversely affect the body and attention goes to that rather than what has caused the stress and tension in the first place. This blog is a great example of working with the underlying cause.
Wow, thats exposing and revealing to ponder on what you say here, Matthew Brown, realizing, that we medically treat the end result of what starts with a natural communication of the body.
So true Mathew, to simply stop and become aware of what is going on in our bodies is a great place to start, so often we can get caught in over drive 🙂 Getting to the underlying cause of why we would choose this is worth addressing for sure.
This is so true Matthew and it is time we start as the burden on our health care systems is at breaking point as the nurses and young doctors are being asked to work yet longer hours on even less pay. These are people who are pivotal in our recovery being stretched beyond their limits. Something needs to change, isn’t it time we started to take responsibility for the way we are living?
Exposing that we seek solutions to get rid of the problem, not to be all that we are (healing = evolution).
Yes. Perhaps a new approach for physiotherapists. As they work on the affected body part, perhaps an opportunity to discuss and ponder on what’s causing the tension in the first place, unpacking how one has been living that got you there in the physio’s rooms being massaged. Perhaps one day there will be a course for Esoteric Physiotherapy at Evolve College 🙂
Stress and tension are major factors that affect our physical health, especially if held in the body long term or it is lived daily. It is essential that we learn how to deal with it otherwise it controls the body and many of its choices. With stress and tension, it affects the vascular system and therefore puts pressure on the heart and the cascade effect on other parts of the body can be quite detrimental.
When we are unaware that stress and tension are actually a choice we invite in we allow it to take over and think that this is us! I know many people who have accepted stress as part of life and think this is normal and ok. What you share here Matthew are the health implications of this, which we all know, but don’t really want to consider. It is so important to have this discussion and for us to be actively aware of what our choices are doing to our bodies.
‘stress and tension are actually a choice we invite in we allow it to take over and think that this is us!’ … this is very powerful, michell819 …. I have specific situations where I can instantly feel a sinking feeling in my stomach and my heart starts racing, I feel trapped. It’s very empowering to acknowledge that I’m in fact choosing to allow myself to feel this way, it’s not who I am and it is actually a choice, a very detrimental one, to allow the stress and tension to stay with me.
That first moment we clock it as a choice is incredibly empowering because then it no longer has the utter power to control us. It may take a while for the momentum of it to play out as we transition into new choices. I still get caught out by going into tension and into nervous energy but I now have the tools in my kit bag to change it – to stop, re-group, re-connect and to change my quality, coming from stillness once more.
Absolutely Matthew. Living with a tense body definitely affects our physical health. This can take the form of illnesses or sickness, or as I’ve certainly experienced seriously tight shoulders, or a hard body. It feels like wearing a ton of heavy expectations and attachments on your shoulders!
Great explanation of how the physical body is affected Matthew. Tension is something most live with to a great or lessor degree in life. If we can learn to develop a relationship with tension that allows us to recognise it as it arises and then deal with it, we have the potential to create great change with our health.
I love the practical way of looking at the affects tension and stress has. We all know that it’s not good for us, yet we miss the step of addressing it by feeling our body and the actually feeling of it first.
It is a fact that the effects on the body and the after effects of our choices become all to real when we consistently choose harm.
Indeed stress and tension impact terribly on the physical body. Recently I felt tense because of a disharmonious relationship, and after feeling the tension for 4 days straight, I woke up one morning with a stiff and painful neck. I’m sure this would have been just the beginning of domino effects throughout my body if I hadn’t chose to deal with the root cause of the tension, or more aptly my reactions to the relationship disharmony.
A wonderful example of how to work with the constant messaging we get from our bodies and the benefits to be derived from it when we do. Tension is most certainly our best friend. Next up is recognition – to know when tension is around – because without that, we may risk going into over-ride – and then we’re done for.
So true Cathy our bodies are always guiding us and it is up to us whether we choose to pay attention or not. Tension is one of the first markers in our bodies that our attention is called for. And it is from here that our next step comes from the choice, to pay attention to or ignore the guidance we are being offered.
Agree Cathy, tension, despite what we may have always been led to believe is a very helpful tool. From recognising tension we can start to work back and discover what it is that’s putting such a strain on the body.
Being aware I feel tense when around certain people brings me the awareness that something isn’t harmonious in our relationship and that there is more for me to look at. The tension is the phone ringing, I just need to pick the phone up next.
Getting stuck in soft sand is definitely not a problem that is frequently encountered in London. But there are situations in the day when I feel tension come and go. Crowded and delayed tube trains, crowded streets, heated conversations etc. I can get in my ankles just sitting on the train. Development of being present in one’s body allows greater awareness of tensions in the body, which always affects the thoughts we have. As soon as we let go, we can feel the space in our thoughts again.
No I imagine it wouldn’t be where you are Jinya! But how right you are that this blog doesn’t only apply to one situation. I first realised the power of choosing or not choosing tension when I was in labour. Tensing my body during contractions made the pain worse, so opening up, trusting my body, letting it do it’s thing, was the choice that I made and my labour experience was gorgeous and amazing. Total lived proof.
Thank you Suzanne, the tense posture you describe when first driving your 4 by 4 along the track is how I used to drive all the time. What an incredible awareness and shift to make and I know that the teachings of Universal Medicine have played a critical role in supporting you to do this. Learning to acknowledge and then pay attention to any tension is crucial for our well being. I have found in the past that tension in my body is a signal from my body that there is something I need to pay attention to and once I do, it becomes easier to release the tension and allow my body to surrender to the task in hand, quite a different result to the pre Universal Medicine days, when more often than not, tension in the body usually resulted in a stinking headache!
This completely throws out the victim Mentality, even though when one is in the victim mentality it feels very real and hurtful, but the simple steps presented in this blog show a simple bit of body science and changing our movement can alter the equation and give us a different result.
Absolutely profound Doug, and very accurately put!
This is a great relationship to have with our body, one where we are connected to such a point that we feel tension immediately and see how we react to certain situations. Amazing and this proves that we can adjust our body and the way we feel, the energy can change.
Yes Harry I agree. This reflects that we all can master living in connection to our Soul through our bodies in this life if we choose it, as we all have the equal and same opportunities to choose to respond to the messages from our bodies. And as you say it is – ‘Amazing and this proves that we can adjust our body and the way we feel, the energy can change.’
True Harry. It’s a simple choice in how we react to situations. Being more aware of ourselves allows this to be so.
I have found this time and time again, we are instigators of our own changes, always.
And change begins with how we move our bodies.
Beautiful Harry, thank you for your comment. How empowering I feel knowing I have a choice, I’m not a sitting duck.
‘If I approach life as the difficult stuff being something I need to learn from, I don’t get derailed by issues, no matter what the issue’ …. I found these words deeply nurturing, thank you. I’ve had some issues come up for me recently, a recurring pattern that I have found to be quite debilitating. Knowing that everything happens for a reason and knowing that there is learning here for me, opens the door for me to surrender to how I’m feeling, but not to let these feelings ‘run me’.
“The lesson I learned from all this is that I can make friends with tension as it is there to show me something first and then it is up to me to make choices that either help release the tension or instead work with it in a way that best supports me.” Suzanne what a perfect line! Making friends with tension rather than resisting it seems like a key strategy.
Yes this is a Gem Rachel. “Making friends with tension rather than resisting it”, observing and working with it to unfold and heal what is being exposed, and evolve and expand. This advise can also be applied to all aspects of life, so we allow every moment to be an opportunity to expand and evolve.
Yes, it sure can Golnaz. If I approach life as the difficult stuff being something I need to learn from, I don’t get derailed by issues, no matter what the issue. Less if any need then to dive into the numbing options such as alcohol, food, sport or entertainment that easily distract me.
It is so revealing all the different moments and what we choose, I am constantly having to stop myself from going into tension just walking from A to B! It is kinda funny but really not when you consider the impact on the body and the quality of everything I do in that drive and tension. But a year ago I wasn’t even aware of it so its all a slow progression north.
Suzanne I really enjoyed what you shared here as I too can so relate to holding this tension whether I’m driving or typing on a computer. I found myself stopping and sitting back in my chair and really getting a sense of why I might be holding tension in my body in this way. Not trusting this marvellous body I am in, not unlike a car, seems to be the reason. So today I am going to begin making a point of being more away of the way I move, drive and hold myself in the day. Thanks for the inspiration!
Go for it!
Simplicity on wheels, great article Suzanne…love this line “Tension takes away my decision-making capabilities.”.
It almost feels like being aware of the tension is like an early warning system the body uses. We can observe, and then bring our awareness to the cause of the tension and make choices to address the situation as best we can. However, if we give in to the tension it very quickly incapacitates us, holding the body in a straight jacket ….
love it Ariana, its true there are so many things we can use to reduce our ability to respond to life without defence or reaction.
So true Ariana, and developing the loving connection with the body very simply allows us to be aware of these as they arise, giving us the choice to be who we truly are – or not..
Thanks Joel, it definitely does. tension seems to clog up my pores, meaning I no longer have access to the great intelligence of my body. I don’t know how this looks scientifically, but it’s what it feels like to me!
I loved this article too Kristy, it’s so practical and a great reminder to trust the car. I love what you share here too that it’s about letting go, trusting and from there you can be present and enjoy the ride!
Beautifully practical example Suzanne of how an awareness of our body can allow us to first feel the tensions we are holding and allow us the opportunity to either hold on in overwhelm or surrender to the greater pull and release that which we are not.
Beautifully summed up Nicole – I love how you highlight that tensions offers us an opportunity to ‘surrender to the greater pull’, to return to a deeper connection to Love.
Yes this is a super practical example. This morning I woke up feeling anxious and in nervous tension. The pull to stay in it was quite strong however it was only a matter of choice to stop, connect, feel my body, exercise it gently in that connection – and allow myself to nominate where the tension was coming from. Whilst I am not completely free of it at the moment the tension is not all consuming and the impulse to stay with me is stronger. It is awesome to have the tools at hand to not allow anxiousness and tension to have the upper hand and rule my day or my body.
Our bodies communication is truly intelligent – we just have to be willing to listen and learn.
Oh yes – we have to re-learn to truly listen again.
They certainly do Carmen, our wisest advocate.
Awesome blog post Suzanne. I can relate to this tension all too well. I too have experimented with letting go and allowing whatever it is I’m working with to help me. It’s funny, as I was reading about the sand becoming more difficult to drive on, I could feel my own body tense up imagining myself in that situation.
It’s so simple when we look at it from the outside….what does curling shoulders, stiff arms, stiff body actually help in a situation like that? Nothing…yet it’s our default setting when things get tricky. How cool it is to know that there is another way and the more we practice that, the more that will become the new default setting.
That is a great analogy Elodie, when we are in a tense situation, making our body stiff is the default setting. The choice to re-connect will always be there to make in every moment, like it has always been.
‘Default setting’ certainly is the right term for what we do with our body when things get a bit tricky, as though our lives depended on it when all it does is to make things more arduous.
It’s true. Of what support is a stiff and hard body when we are in a situation that requires our absolute clarity. Remaining surrendered in our bodies allows us to feel our wisdom and knowing of what to do in every situation.
Thank you Kylie, I love your sentence, “Remaining surrendered in our bodies allows us to feel our wisdom and knowing of what to do in every situation” Consciously ‘surrendering’ or deferring to the intelligence of my body is what I choose each day.
So true Kylie and beautifully put “Remaining surrendered in our bodies allows us to feel our wisdom and knowing of what to do in every situation.”.
I agree, ‘Remaining surrendered in our bodies allows us to feel our wisdom and knowing of what to do in every situation.’ This is so important, to be surrendered, and being aware when we are not so we can consciously choose to let go and surrender again.
Elodie – knowing that body tightening, shoulders up and anxiousness is a default system when we are not in control of a situation is something I know very well and am keen to overcome. But after reading this blog I am reassured that it is always a choice, and that there is another way. The more I practice this – trust and surrender to the divine connection within will become my new default setting. Feels empowering.
‘I was trusting and allowing the car to do the work’. If only we all did this with our bodies. Trusting our body and allowing us to do the work, rather than live in anxiety and try and control the body and our situations.
Great to bring this awareness back to the body lindellparlour – When we stop, trust, let go and listen to the body, it knows exactly how to live its amazing wisdom with all the organs coming together in their own harmonious rhythm.
‘When we stop, trust, let go and listen to the body, it knows exactly how to live its amazing wisdom with all the organs coming together in their own harmonious rhythm.’ – so true, it’s crazy how it’s been our pattern to work against this innate wisdom, keeping us in separation, creating a dis-ease that limits us from being the fullness of our gorgeous selves. It’s been such a blessing to have been given the opportunity to re-awaken and re-connect to the truth of who I truly am and to once again learn to appreciate the divine wisdom of the body.
Our bodies are similar to a car. Our organs as you have said Stephanie operate to a harmonious rhythm just like the engine in the car and if we are in tune with our body we know when we are going to get sick or have an illness or disease in our body, like the warning lights in our car.
‘ When we stop, trust, let go and listen to the body, it knows exactly how to live its amazing wisdom with all the organs coming together in their own harmonious rhythm.’ Why do we ignore our bodies and not trust the divine wisdom they have? I am re-learning to trust and honour my body, a great reminder in this blog that our body is our wise friend.
Great point lindellparlour. Trusting in our bodies and that they know all, without needing to control and push the body from the mind is indeed a different way of living, but one that feels so much more honest by honouring the vehicle that houses us, our Soul.
Absolutely lindellparlour Simone well said. Our bodies are vehicles, they enhouse us, our Soul, our Light. We are not in general living the true potential of the wisdom our bodies are capable of offering us. Yet the more we trust the more we can feel how amazing it is to be guided by our bodies and as we develop this connection we can then live honoring our wisdom within that is there to be lived.
Its a big one Lindell because so many people feel their bodies ‘let them down’ so there is little trust there. I have loved discovering that our bodies are actually our biggest ally and only respond to how we live. Our bodies send us so many messages about how we are living, we just need to become a bit more still to listen to them – and stop overriding them. There are some great articles on UniMed Living to support just that.
Thanks Sarah, for reminding me how it is for so many people, that their body has seemingly let them down. This is not the truth at all, and eventually this will be known by all, but until then, it would be the reality for millions, if not billions.
This is a ‘biggie’, Sarah, thank you for bringing it up …. it’s so easy for us to shift the blame, to feel like our bodies have let us down, that we’ve been short changed and our body isn’t as ‘robust’ as another …. this is all just an excuse for us to not take any responsibility for the way we’re living. If we truly want things to change, we have a choice, to listen to our bodies and take care of them, to take responsibility for our lives, for all our choices in the way we’re living, or, to continue to ignore all the messages our bodies are desperately trying to send us and to remain in a declining state of ill-health.
Well said Lindell. It’s amazing what happens when we trust our body.
The more I trust my body, the more my life feels true…
The knowing has always been there for us. The more we connect and trust our bodies the more we accept the knowing and feel the truth within us and in others.
Powerfully expressed Lindellparlour and a clue to how much is actually running us as opposed to us being completely with ourselves and feeling the flow.
It’s one of the grandest illusions Lee. Humanity ‘thinking’ we are in control of our lives, but are we really? As Sarah has mentioned in this thread, so many people feel that their bodies have let them down, but they are simply casualties of this game, this illusion. Thank goodness for The Way of the Livingness – a light house in this ocean of fog.
So true lindellparlour- When we are anxious we are unable to make clear decisions.
But if we trust and surrender to our body and go within we will be given a clear message of what needs to be done or said.
To be the master of life and it not be the other way round is VERY empowering and it’s great to know and experience that it’s possible. I still find it amazing that just changing our body positioning and posture can release tension and also open up our problem solving abilities. More listening to and having a relationship with our bodies is needed.
Agree shevonsimon, connecting to the stillness within our bodies is very empowering and liberating from the complexity of life and allow us to bring simplicity and clarity to everything we do.
I’ve noted this tension in being a passenger at times too! (Including in my history of four-wheel driving). There can also be a sense of control that comes in, resulting in tension when someone else has the drivers seat, trusting ourselves as well as trusting others becomes super evident and needed.
Great blog Suzanne, the responsibility and self-empowerment that we have when we don’t let life drive us but rather make the choices to live and move how we want is exceptionally important. Especially if we are going to tackle the epidemic in our communities that is anxiousness and tension.
I am also learning this lesson of tension, of using it as a marker for what needs adjusting, letting go of, rebuilding… I used to fight the tension I could feel in the world and subsequently in my body, and at times I still do, but there is a simpler way – to use this tension as a great gauge for all that is, and all that is not. That is, we are love, and as such we sense the tension of all that is not of this love and therefore does not match and harmonise with it. Our path of redeveloping back to expressing the absoluteness of the love that we are, lies in our ability and willingness to peer closely at ‘all that is’ and ‘all that is not’, so that we can make the necessary adjustments that allow us to surrender and deepen more to that which we already are – pure love.
Love it Suzanne, your experience teaches us how much wisdom and clarity is available to us if we simply let go of our hold on life, and surrender to the flow that we are held in and by. There is much our bodies can withstand if we do not fight against them. When we move as one, the One will move us.
Hello Marika and not only ‘not fight tension’ but not just think it’s how it is. For so long I didn’t know I lived with any tension. It’s not something I related to me and my body. Now after feeling how still our bodies truly are at rest then I was the king of tension. I have moments in my day set up where I just check in to see how my body is feeling. It maybe at lunch, after conversations, on the phone, where ever just to see if I am ‘holding’ tension. Your body is an amazing tool if we listen to it regularly as Suzanne has offered us here.
I loved how you listened to your feeling of tension and made the conscious choice to let it go. I often see tension as a sign of ‘having done or doing something wrong’ instead of seeing it as a message from my body to tell me to relax and trust.
Great blog Suzanne with a true and simple message of the power we have when we are present in our body – the choice is ours. Check-in with the body and if there is tension or hardness, work with releasing it by slowly and methodically releasing each part until the whole can be felt. Working as a whole brings increased awareness, honest response and stillness, a bit like working with Humanity in Brotherhood.
I love this ch1956 – a reminder of all the opportunities we have to be working as a whole and be with Humanity in Brotherhood.
Checking in with the body to feel what is going on and observe and not absorb – the body knows how to sort itself when we bring the focus and awareness of being present with it.
It is great to read this, although I often notice that I get tensed whilst driving I haven’t been able to totally let it go. I am not driving often but when I do I am going to try out relaxing and trusting the car.
I am still working on this, I feel like it is very exposing how we drive our cars, the issues I have driving and reacting on the road are the same ones I have in life.
I agree – really exposing. I was just thinking about the death grip I have on our baby’s pram when I push him around! Cool to bring awareness to the tension no matter what it is we’re doing.
I love the lessons that are constantly on offer and reflected to us when we choose to see them.
What I love about reading these blogs and comments is they make your think – you go wow …ok…does that happen for me? have I seen that happening for others? how does that effect me and those around me? And I also love that being reminded of how much we can learn at any given time and that we always have a choice as to how we can respond (or react) to a situation. I am going to observe how I drive today for sure.
Hello Suzanne and I love a good driving story and this is a good one. I wonder how much the tension in our bodies while driving leads to accidents. The way you live supports this, if you have a marker of what your body feels like when it’s still then whenever it is not that you ask the question why, just like you have. Most of the time we are trying to control a situation so we don’t get hurt and this maybe true for you and your driving. If we ‘let go’ it’s not that we don’t care but more we are allowing ourselves to feel everything which is actually a deeper care.
What a great lesson to learn, it’s funny how things are not always as they seem. Our surrender to a situation can be more powerful than our control.
It has taken me along time to learn this natural truth, for so long I assumed that if I controlled my surrounds that they would be safer but trusting in the flow and rhythm of myself and life has actually made me feel truly taken care of for the first time.
What a great learning Suzanne! I am finding tension is a sure way of contracting everything in my body and mind. In the past I would sometimes not even notice it until a part of my body or head was aching or if I did, I would dismiss it because I wanted to finish what I was doing, thinking I would then deal with the consequences later. I didn’t consider that the quality of what I was doing was affected as long as the job got done. Now I am realising that all of this isn’t the case and am making much more of an effort to catch and pay attention to tension when it’s present. The outcomes are very different as a result and everything seems to flow more smoothly.
Great blog Suzanne, today it invited me to appreciate how my awareness of my body and any tension building up during the day has grown so much. Nowadays I clock it, I allow myself to feel what is going on for me, to then stop the disturbing energy that is running through my body.
Suzanne I really enjoyed reading your blog as I can relate well to what you are sharing. I notice on really long drives I can get quite tense driving and can find I can be leaning forward as well which increases the tension. Your simple and practical advice is a great support in remaining present with our bodies in everything we do.
An awesome example Suzanne of the power of tension in our bodies and how it can take over how we are living, becoming the master of our movements. You have showed that really it is quite simple when faced with a situation that in the past tension has been given free rein to control your every move, that by becoming aware of everything you are doing down to the minutest movement, that tension no longer has a place to plant itself and from there take over the role of master of your life. As you claim so powerfully at the end of your article: “ I am the master of life, not the other way around.”
Tension I feel is a message to the body to use it, with tension the body is fully alert and ready to receive instructions and they come easily when we stay in connection, not freeze up, allowing the inner wisdom to be our guide.
Trusting that your body was going to be able to handle the situation and that the car was going to be able to do its job properly is a massive level of trust and support your allowing. This makes me think of my work place and how we are only able to be harmonious if we allow ourselves to trust those people and things around us, that they are going to be able to do the job properly and that they were designed, hired to do. Such a great blog because we can never control our surroundings, we can only let go and live and trust in ourselves and others.
The lesson I learned from all this is that I can make friends with tension as it is there to show me something first and then it is up to me to make choices that either help release the tension or instead work with it in a way that best supports me. I can say I know I have worked with sticky situations that potentially could cause tension, it’s an opportunity to allow my innate wisdom to be at the fore and unexpected solutions present in an instant, thus diminishing further tension and reaction.
I realised that once I started becoming aware of tension in my body, what it feels like, what it looks like – that I was ‘holding on’ to a lot of it in parts of my body a lot of the time.
Even still now I bring more and more awareness to it and there are so many pockets and little places that are ‘ braced’ or ‘tight’.
Really this is no way to live.
Brilliant Suzanne, it feels like this experience you share could relate to almost anything in life. Rather than divine intervention or a miracle drug, I love how you say its a ‘mechanical decision’ – a simple choice – that let you be aware of and release the tesnsion.
Thank you Suzanne, this is a great observation and “experiment”. When we let go of the tension and let our body guide the way, we will find how easy it is to go through life and driving a car is actually a very good place I have found to practice this.
How often we get stuck in a posture that comes from the tension we are feeling. I remember working hours locked in a certain position until my legs felt sore or my back would hurt when I moved again. Since I raised my awareness about the body being our marker of truth and in constant communication with us I am much more aware of how I am in my body and what my body is communicating to me. It is great to check in with my body constantly during the day and let my body guide me through life.
while reading your blog I was aware of a tension I can often have when I have been working on my computer for a while with great focus. I tend to lose focus on my body for a bit and then it always tenses up. yet another great reminder of how important our connection to our body is and the direct communication of our bodies that is always there reflecting to us our choices in every moment.
So true Carolien. I have the same. The cool thing is that if you listen, stop for a beat, go for even the shortest of walks – every time, I find that something shifts, my body was trying to tell me something, and something will come to me that will change or improve whatever I was doing. Our whole bodies want to be involved – not just our brains!
Otto I so appreciate the joy that I can feel in the communication and exploration of the relationship with yourself. This lightness and willingness to learn is very inspiring and shows that change doesn’t need to be a hard and serious business.
Thank you for the appreciation. Talking the talk is one thing – now I am committing to walking the walk (pun intended – even though it’s not a very good one!)
Suzanne, i loved reading your blog as my first response was..maybe best not to drive the 4 wheel then. But you have shown the way to be with more difficult or demanding situations is by trusting myself and knowing that I am equipped to deal with what is before me.
Great blog Suzanne. Becoming more aware of tension in my life then enables me to choose how to deal with it. Years ago I was so numb I wasn’t even aware I had tension. Our bodies show us the truth, if we care to listen.
It certainly does Sueq2012, ‘Our bodies show us the truth, if we care to listen,’ well said. I have also found by being aware of my body, feeling it in tension, I was then able to choose to let it go.
That I am the master of life, and not the other way around. As for the car speaking, we are in the drivers seat of life and with that we are responsible for every choice we make.
Yes we need to stop listening to the ‘back seat drivers’ and accept we are in the drivers seat and we are responsible for every choice we make.
Absolutely Love it Marietta! In other words never take a back seat in life.
Too much comfort and no responsibility in the back seat…
I love the notion of becoming friends with tension and getting to understand why it is there rather that going into battle with it or allowing it to grow into anxiety. A fantastic practical application.
In fact, irrespective of any action that may or may not be taken, just being open to feeling and recognising the tension at all, is a great step – rather than just letting the situation (and in this case the adrenaline and urgency) over-rule the loud messages that your body was sending you. Big appreciation for that, because many just ride rough-shod over their bodies – or worse, actively chase this kind of scenarios despite what their bodies are absolutely telling them – even if they aren’t listening!
Absolutely Otto, what a great sharing. Round of applause for even just stopping to recognise the tension at all, its a step taken towards awareness, being aware that something is not right, and that there is a relationship happening between ourselves and energy, we don’t in fact control what happens at all!! but can respond by changing our body and feel what is happening in any given situation.
Yes. But we have to stop. That stop is a gift; an invitation to our bodies. “ok, I’m listening, whatya got for me?”
And….just because we don’t stop it doesn’t mean our bodies are not talking…and if we continue not to stop,…our bodies then have to start shouting….disease and illness.
” Tension takes away my decision-making capabilities” this is so true Suzanne. When I am tense I cannot make a true decision to safe myself. I am so tied up in knots in my body I am unable to listen to what it is trying to tell me. I then try and think it out and I go around and around in my head. Them I feel drained as I have wasted so much energy on what could have been a simple decision.
This is a really useful blog for me. Reminding me not to freak out when I feel that tension, but to use it to my benefit – as a friendly warning and as an opportunity to make whatever changes the situation enables.
Hello Otto, I guess we could see the tension as a benefit as you are saying. A mark or a “friendly warning” that something in us isn’t right or settled. Allowing your body to settle for me is the ultimate responsibility at this point. It matters not how you got there or who’s fault it is but more that you return to feeling settled. I dedicate time to feeling this settled or still feeling. That way I know it, my body remembers it and so when there is tension, even the slightest part I know to do nothing else but to stop to feel and let go. We should go for a drive sometime.
What you say here Ray is so key and a big help for me. We have to have a marker. A known level. Without that how can we even know that we are in tension. No wonder that most people, when you ask them to relax, will say “I am relaxed”!
Perfect Otto and as we are saying this ‘settled/still’ feeling is forever a point to return to. I have found this extremely supporting, so when there is tension with anyone or anything you let go or surrender back to this feeling you know. No justifying, blame or condemnation just a simple return to a known feeling otherwise it just seems we are forever at the ‘mercy’ of whatever is happening in front of us.
As for going for a drive?? If you drive as beautifully as you express, then I’d gladly sit in your passenger seat.
Haha and some may say my driving is one of my true values as it is something I don’t just do to get from A to B. It’s another point I use regularly to ‘check in’ and feel that stillness we have been speaking of and as this blog is referring to, it makes a huge difference. I love driving and I certainly don’t ‘take my eyes off the road’. Thanks Otto.
Thank you Raymond , this makes so much sense, just what i needed to read today…
that after feeling tension, “Allowing your body to settle … is the ultimate responsibility at this point. It matters not how you got there or who’s fault it is but more that you return to feeling settled. I dedicate time to feeling this settled or still feeling” When I am out of synch or equilibrium with myself , there can be no clarity and a sense of carrying something you don’t know what it is.
Oh my goodness…hearing you talk about driving…I have definitely got to go with a drive with you! I am a long way from this and would gladly take some inspiration/mentoring – my speeding record says it all. That said – I agree with you 100% – it is an amazing opportunity to check in and, when I am driving with full presence, I love the whole body experience of it – everything focussed in still concentration on the one task. Much to master here.
Great Otto lets drive. Next time you are getting in the seat just sit for a second and feel how you are sitting. If it’s ‘settled’ brilliant and appreciate that, if not have a look at what you did and how you were before you got into the car, was it rushed, do you remember closing the door etc if there is something in this, cool, then feel and appreciate that you felt that and breathe. Settle in and start the car and the moment you catch that feeling has gone, appreciate that and return to it, nothing more. Watch how you drive from that settled/still feeling and see how naturally when you are ‘in’ that you won’t speed magically. Ah you don’t believe me, try it. Drive in emotion and your body races and then so does the car, one and the same. I think we need to stop for fuel…
You are so awesome Raymond. And funny. I love it. This is absolute gold. Imagine if they taught this at driving school. In fact, you should teach driving, we should make films of your driving….but, before we do that, I gotta a lot of homework to do. I will report back. Like it or not, you have now become my driving mentor!
Are you sure your surname is Bathurst because it seems we may have been separated at birth and are actually brothers? Thanks Otto and it seems like to me the ‘homework’ you are talking about would only take a man of your calibre a day to complete so should I get ready for the filming? Friday? See you in makeup and say hello to our father, tell him we are coming home together.
You know what – you might be right about the homework. I tried it last night – amazing. But as with my kids learning their times tables – it’s not just about passing the test tomorrow -you gotta commit to them long-term, so that the wisdom stays with you. That’s my thing at the moment – my focus…..everyone can find golden moments, but true wisdom comes from committing to them.
Yes love it, the consistency and long-term commitment. These are the keys to bringing about true change, a living change right before your eyes.
Otto Karam? Now THAT sounds GREAT!
Use it as you see brother as it is just a name and means very little without the energy behind it. In other words ‘we’ don’t need to have the same name to feel a family bond. We aren’t related, or live in the same country nor have we actually ever met but we share a real family bond. As you know this bond is through a feeling, a strong feeling you can touch but it’s not physical in that sense. For me this shows a quality of energy, otherwise how can 2 men living in different countries, without ever meeting or even speaking to each other feel that they live side by side. Great as always to have you on board, see you at dinner.
And I’ll have whatever you’re having, brother. And I will sit and bask in the wisdom of your words and the freedom of our equality – a medicine that we have all been craving for aeons and that we all need to drink deeply. For in that equality, every mask, weight, bubble and pretence falls away – revealing the truth of the men that we all are.
I didn’t know you were a poet, a master chef and a singer. This is sheer poetry that nourishes the ears and body in a very sweet voice. These words are not just for us but for everyone and while some may judge, all will feel the power of what is said. We aren’t what we seem as all we see is a part, the greater awaits us on return to the ‘one’ and for that all we need do is turn within.
Straight back at you, brother poet.
I agree Otto, for when I allow anxiety to turn my tension into a foe rather than a friend, my day goes really pear shaped and everything becomes hard and difficult. It’s exhausting as well.
Your comment reminds me of how I too can sometimes react to difficult situations and tension. But by choosing to trust and surrender, I can then take a completely different approach that is so much more loving and supportive.
Absolutely Otto, I agree, when I get to the point where the tension and anxiety are felt as “internal butterflies” it is a ‘reminder for me not to freak out,’ ‘but use it to my benefit.’ The presentations that are shared in the College of Universal Medicine are what I use to my benefit. I have done the course below twice and it is so full of information on how to deal with tension, nervousness and anxiety that I will do it again.
Understanding Anxiety in Men – ONLINE COURSE
http://study.coum.org/enrol/index.php?id=14
Thank you Suzanne – a great reminder, making friends with tension as opposed to reacting to it. A world of difference.
I love your observations Suzanne – about the situation, the car, your body and your reactions. All very clear.
I had a similar experience a few years ago… finally noticing that unconsciously I was leaning forward when I drove, always active and ever so slightly tense. Having changed my posture, and how I hold my body its totally changed the way I drive now and its much more relaxing for me (and the other drivers on the road!).
Simon, I can very much relate to this – I have also experienced the tension behind the steering wheel, as well as being a passenger observing and feeling the tension of the driver – either of them does not feel great.
Love it Suzanne – its not just a practical guide on 4WD, but this can be applied at work so easily, as well as pretty much anywhere. Its a solid reminder that feeling what is going on for us in our bodies is a wealth of information… and once we are aware of what is going on, we create a decision point for ourselves to improve it or stick with the status quo.
I love the point you make here Suzanne about tension being there to show us something, but it is then a choice to either let it go or to work with it in a way that supports. This is a very practical approach to something most of us aren’t sure of or know how to handle.
I drove my car for a few hours today, and was aware of how I could be more gentle with it and treat my body gently also. It changed how I felt on the drive and I did not feel as tired when I have finished the drive. This choice can absolutely be chosen also in everything we do. A great example of working with tension not feeling overwhelmed by it.
What you say here is great “tension can melt away because an inner confidance takes its place.” We have an inner knowing that is much more steady and powerful than reacting to a tension or hardness to get things done.
A glorious lesson to learn “The lesson I learned from all this is that I can make friends with tension as it is there to show me something first and then it is up to me to make choices that either help release the tension or instead work with it in a way that best supports me.”
Tension is a huge issue for people, I know it has been for me. I have lost clarity and been indecisive when there has been tension in my body, rather than choosing to surrender and be more still. I am learning and practicing that there is a choice to be made here and surrender does allow for what is needed to emerge.
The lesson you taught me here, Suzanne, is that you didn’t change the situation to get rid of the tension, but you changed your body in the situation. Smart.
Hello Felixschumcher8, nor did she ‘drive’ through the tension. I wonder next time we are in the car how we feel. I love these type of blogs because they invoke a practical application, like driving. So next time I am in the car I will check how I feel at different points, like check the air and water and the tension…..
Great point Felixschumacher8. I read Suzanne’s words but I didn’t pick up on what you have pointed out. Thank you for sharing your observation, now I can apply this wisdom to my day 🙂
Yes I agree Felixschumacher8, this blog is great for showing us how we can choose to trust ourselves and everything around instead of staying with the tension, by allowing our body to do its job. Smart and inspiring indeed.
Suzanne,
I so know the tension you are talking about here. Going 4 wheel driving has been a part of my life since child hood. But as you share the tension felt there is no different to the tension felt any where in our lives. I love how you share, that once felt we have the choice to surrender and let it go. It is the knowing that we have a choice that needs to be shared widely, for many have no idea that there is a way to live where tension is not the normal thing. Where if tension is felt we know that something is affecting us, where tension is a signal to stop and gather ourselves, in so doing, quite often the tension dissolves.
Your sharing reveals the power of our choices Suzanne…in any given moment we can stop and feel our bodies and what is happening within them – and then it is up to us whether we choose to change by honouring our body or whether we stay in the mess we are in! Simply a choice…
Thank you Suzanne…a very practical sharing of the wisdom of our body, and how it constantly reflects to us how we are actually living.
A great sharing Suzanne. The more we push and force things and put “effort” in to achieve a result the more the energy seems to push back and resist. Perhaps the lesson is to go gently and harmoniously in all that we do.
‘My shoulders, neck, arms and hands on the steering wheel tensed up. I also noticed I was leaning forward in my seat, with my body moving closer to the wheel, which was a sure sign that I was anxious and tense’ – I wonder how many times during our day we do this; tense our body in angst of a difficult situation or for something to go wrong. I would say that this happens A LOT for many people, and I would go as far to say that some may even live their entire lives in this tension. Personally I’m not the most ‘easy-going’ person in the whole world – when I have an idea or an expectation that my day will go a certain way, it almost HAS to go that way otherwise I immediately become tense… It’s something I’m working with, but it’s fascinating to feel and observe how easily we can go into this state simply from having expectations or doubt.
Suzanne it sounds like you learnt to trust your inner knowing by asking yourself to connect into your body. I too feel anxious when anything new arises that I am not familiar with and this in turn stops me completely and I feel stuck . But to let go of judgement of myself makes my choices simpler and I trust what I know ,or that I’ll find a way.
It makes such a difference when we focus on being present and surrender to the fact that everything will be fine. Let go of any tension and enjoy the present moment.
Awesome sharing, tension is an indicator not necessarily the issue itself.
I like the lightheartedness of this. The understanding that you can make friends with tension. It is so easy to go straight into defensiveness or on the attack and end of head first in the thick of it all. You have shown we can embrace these situations and go along for the ride, remaining unscathed, and actually have grown by the time we are out the other side.
It is truly incredible what we can learn from any situation if only we let ourselves trust in our awareness. This is a great example of trusting yourself, your body and allowing your awareness of your body guide you.
Thank you for sharing here Suzanne that there is great power in listening to our body and that making simple mechanical and practical adjustments to support us in releasing tension and brings us back home to our bodies.
So true Jane, we are that power when we listen to our bodies and its messages and can then make those refinements to our posture with awareness… how we hold our bodies is how we will move them….
I love this sharing Suzanne because it demonstrates the practice to simply become aware of how our body is feeling – the tension showed your body something was there – and you used the tension to become even stiller to deal with the situation. As you say, once we are aware and honest with what is felt in the body, it is then a simple choice. Awareness is key.
With tension there can a pushing outwards to get something done, but when we let go of that and trust we have everything we need, we then allow it to happen without any force.
I love what you say about making friends with tension and using it as a marker to make a different choice that is more in the flow with your body. Its great when something that can be deemed as negative gets turned around into a signpost for a bit of evolution.
“I can make friends with tension as it is there to show me something first and then it is up to me to make choices that either help release the tension or instead work with it in a way that best supports me.” Absolutely gorgeously expressed. We can learn so much from tension when we do not go into anxiety.
Suzanne what a great reflection to take into my day, I also find when a task is complex or challenging my default position is to tense up, hold tight rather than sit back and allow. I do this at work when I am “trying to get” something. Yet in that I can see I just make the situation more intense.
A really great sharing David, thank you. I also feel this when I am ‘trying to get’ something or wanting a certain out come in a situation, it creates a lot of tension within myself! Im realising the other way to go with this is to sit back and allow as you say, and even if if it turns out to be an outcome I didnt want or expect, I have come to accept that there is great learning in all things and never should I judge things as good or bad, just reflections of my choices.
Thank you for sharing Suzanne and I totally agree that “Tension takes away my decision-making capabilities.” It’s awesome how you were able to recognise it and chose to allow that car to do it’s job with your steady hands guiding it. That feels like a metaphor for trusting our bodies to guide us through whatever situation we find ourselves in and letting go of, for example, the tension of making the right decision etc
I have heard in presentations from Serge Benhayon that making friends with the tension is a healthy thing. Here you’ve taken it to a very practical and down to earth level Suzanne, Thank you.
Absolutely Leigh, we view tension as a bad thing, but tension is an indicator that we are capable of responding when we allow the tension to deliver the answers. Tension is definitely there to be our friend and guide.
This has been a radical realisation for me also Leigh. I always thought tension was something at worst fought and at best avoided. But to embrace tension in the sense that it allows us to see where we are at with the world and with ourselves and the steps we are willing to make hereafter registering it, is indeed liberating. I have always sought teachings and healers that would ‘take this tension away’ but I now can see the pure illusion of this and the irresponsibility that such a notion breeds. With thanks to the wisdom imparted by Serge Benhayon and us all here, I am understanding that it is about accepting the tension and dealing with it, not running away from it and avoiding it. Or worse, just sucking it in and letting it sit there festering. We cannot stop feeling the tension but we can stop feeling overwhelmed by it. The key to this, as always, lies in our hands only.
We cannot stop feeling the tension but we can choose how we relate to it. How simple is that? It’s like previously I used to, like many people, complain when it rained, taking on a miserable disposition and cursing the clouds for making me miserable. But the rain has a purpose and without it we would be far worse off! The same goes for tension, it has a purpose and without it well-being can drop. I’ve never really put those two together until now, thank you Liane.
Suzanne I love the practical example you share when driving your car and being aware of the tension you were causing yourself and how you chose to trust yourself and simply be with you. Tension can severely inhibit and undermine the natural flow of energy through our body.
“The lesson I learned from all this is that I can make friends with tension as it is there to show me something first, and then it is up to me to make choices that either help release the tension or instead work with it in a way that best supports me”.
Suzanne, I recognise well your description of the physical signs of tension at the steering wheel and at your desk. When driving, especially motorway runs, I’m constantly checking in with my body as tension can easily creep in. Hunching my shoulders at the computer is a sure sign I’ve got sucked into the work and dis-connected from my body.
Thank you Suzanne, your blog shows what a difference staying aware of your body, honouring it and making a choice has on the the outcome and thus how you feel in and around yourself. Very practical – Love it!
Awareness always opens the door to choice and you’ve shown when we be-friend tension it is much easier to release it.
Thank you Suzanne for writing about tension, there is so much we can learn from our bodies by working with it rather than against it. I know I used to avoid things in life that I knew were difficult or complicated because I would end up tense. I saw tension as the enemy when really it was just showing me that I had become overwhelmed with what I was doing. Now rather than avoiding things that make me tense I allow myself the time and space to do it without feeling the pressure of having to get it right. If any tension does creep in then I am catch it a lot quicker than I used to and either stop what I am doing for a moment or become aware and let go of the parts of my body (usually my shoulders) that are tensing up.
“I knew the car could handle the track no problems, but only if it was driven in the right way.” This is a true reflection on life. If we steer our way through life with care and love there is no tension and our body can handle whatever the road has to offer.
This is pure gold, ‘make friends with tension as it is there to show me something first and then it is up to me to make choices ‘. It would support anyone who has ever experienced stress or tension- which is basically everyone on the planet!
I absolutely love this blog Suzanne as it is sharing great wisdom within such a practical leisure activity. It just goes to show our wisdom goes with us wherever we do as long as we stay in connection with it and our body.
I really like what you have shared here,’The internal butterflies I was feeling confirmed that when I’m tense on the outside, I am tense on the inside too and I can’t operate and/or make decisions as easily, or as clearly, as when I am relaxed and with myself.’ We are learning all the time in all situations. Beautiful.
I agree that instead of trying to live without tension, as if we are in a perfect world where there is no harm, it is actually much simpler to just feel the effects of it in the body and leave it at that – without trying to solve the tension as a problem or get rid of it completely. Tension will never disappear, but our relationships with it can change.
This was a big revelation for me, Shami. I had a mentality of “I’ll just remove tension” when we can actually make friends with it as pointed out in the article. As you rightly say, it will never disappear so we may as well begin to see it as a relationship.
Beautiful article Suzanne, reading this makes me aware that I also tense up in certain situations, if something technical goes wrong with my computer at home i get so tense and anxious that I literally do not know what to do and have to ask for help, I have noticed that the times I have stayed steady, not got tense and gone into anxiousness that i have been able to find a solution, ‘Tension takes away my decision-making capabilities.’ – I Absolutely agree!
Tools are what have helped us all evolve to where we are today. When they are used as an extension of our body we can move mountains with ease… or fight and try and control and override what they are capable of until they break.
A great sharing Suzanne, showing how we can use our body as a marker to show where we are at and then make adjustments and changes. It is then amazing quite how quickly the body responds. Sure we can choose to override it and allow the pain or tenseness to increase – but the sooner we catch it the quicker we can come back to our tender selves.
Hello James and I agree. I also liked the part where Suzanne speaks about the ‘tension hindering your decision making’. We think it makes us better, be alert and on the edge of our seat just in case something happens but instead of releasing the tension we hold and sitting still ready for the next thing. It’s like the tension is already saying there is something going on while the stillness is saying I’m here ready for what is next. We seem to be more comfortable at this point in having tension, like to say regardless if anything happens I am going to act like it has rather then just being still and taking each moment as it comes.
That’s a great point Raymond, whilst we may think we are more alert with the tension, when we come from a place of stillness our response is so much more encapsulating of the whole. Coming from tension, I find my focus is pin pointed whereas when I come from a place of stillness I consider the whole – I also do not find my body gets racy.
Yes totally agree James and there is more of a flexibility to anything that does come. Next time you are driving bring focus to your shoulders and arms and then down into your legs. You may be surprised at the tension you carry. Holding yourself tense on the back of a ‘maybe’ or a ‘possibly’ isn’t the way to go for me. Letting yourself go or surrendering to a known stillness leaves you ready for whatever is next. What do we always expect the worst? It maybe just a great day for a drive so why not enjoy, let yourself enjoy it.
I will give that a try! I must admit I love driving when I have no time pressure or need to get anywhere quickly! I usually end up there quicker though as everything seems to flow more. When I get caught in a rush, suddenly the car in front is going too slowly, the red lights etc.. As you say it is much better to enjoy it, irrespective of what other people may be doing.
Great article and very practical. It really is about trusting ourselves and not getting caught in the reaction. “Universal Medicine, and specifically Serge Benhayon, have been integral in developing my understanding of how the body works and responds to situations and emotions in a very practical way. ” this is so true for me too, I have learnt so much about my body and how it responds,, which has changed how I live everyday and the choices I make to support my body.
This is a great share Suzanne – such a practical and relevant scenario of how we can make a choice and be aware enough to notice that a choice needs to be made. It’s true that we have much more clarity when we reduce tension.
“sit back and let the car do the work” very much an analogy for getting ourselves out of the way when it comes to the innate wisdom of the body. I look at the most simple tasks I have done in many situations and they have always been when I was free of tension and just completely allowing of my body to show me the way. I love what you share Suzanne and clocked a bit of tension in my body while sitting writing, the word surrender is the one I always come back to, it is so powerful to let go of that tenseness.
I agree Stephen and what a powerful reminder/analogy that I will take into my day; get myself out of the way, ( my head) and let my body do the work! And I can choose to surrender or not…
‘Tension takes away my decision-making capabilities.’ Tension makes me feel hopeless as if I am not capable for what is in front of me and it does not go away if I fight it. Just like you say it is wise to communicate with the tension and to make the choice to feel what it has to say and from there loosen its grip on our body and ourselves. Thank you Suzanne for this practical example of how to work with tension.
Your blog made me realise how far I have come thanks to Universal Medicine. I used to drive and use machinery with a lot of tension. I remember passing a car once that was maybe a little risky and it was as though the tighter I held the steering wheel and the more I hunched forward, the faster I thought the car might go. Now days I can’t remember the last time something like that has happened driving. Nowadays I am a lot more with myself and in less of a hurry.
Great description of how to use tension positively to let go into the body, and surrender instead of letting it be the driving force, so the experience became one of expansion.
Thank you Suzanne. I love what you have said about making friends with tension. Yes, let’s embrace what we are feeling. We can embrace and use all these ‘tighter’ kinds of feelings to be the indicator and marker of how we are living in that moment. Thence know how to come back, how to trust, and how to surrender. And all very practical too!
Yes Kristy I laughed at myself when I thought about how I can get all stressed rather than trust this amazing machine to do what it is designed to do. Trusting our car and trusting ourselves… Perhaps there is a pattern here 🙂
Completely Lucy, the way we hold anything, is the way we are already holding ourselves.
Yes Lucy I agree its quite funny when you really look at it. “Trusting our car and trusting ourselves… ” I sometimes would be so tight in my whole body when driving and when I arrived at my destination wouldn’t really remember even how I got there. But I now love driving and being aware of all my surroundings by checking my mirrors and checking in with my body during the trip. Makes for a fun trip and one free from tension. Our car is a vehicle to support us in reaching our destination so is our bodies, its a vehicle for loving destinations.
What a wonderful learning to share. I can completely relate with regards stress being a mental issue but the consequences in the body are very physical. Sometimes the tension becomes so familiar that we stop noticing the physical manifestation till we get sick or exhausted.
A great practical example of when we connect with our body, we know exactly what to do. This can be applied to everything we do in life. The body has an innate wisdom, all we need to do is get our head out of the way and allow ourselves the opportunity to feel and trust the body.
Great example and reminder Suzanne to listen to what our bodies are showing us. When I feel tension in my body I find I’m in my head and all my attention is going to what I’m doing and my body has to go along for the ride. I find this a lot at work sitting forward in my chair on the computer drawn in by what needs to be done. Once I stop and feel the tension in my shoulders and back I readjust myself in my chair, feel my feet on my footrest and my fingers on the keys and the tension starts to go.
Beautiful Suzanne, the body indeed does know what to do when we connect with it. I had a situation last year when I was involved in a car accident with someone running up the back of me. In that moment, I too realised that if I stayed at ease in my body, I would know exactly what to do. In those split few seconds, I was able to remain connected and although the car did run up the back of me and me into another car no one was hurt and there wasn’t as much damage as what there could easily have been.
Me too Kristy, a friend (maybe the same friend) showed me how to drive a car probably when I was 52. It changed the whole way I drove. I learnt to relax into my seat , not grip the steering wheel, instead hold it with my shoulders, arms and hands relaxed, constantly looking in front of me and in the different mirrors so always being aware of what was happening on the road. It made the world of difference and I got to my destination feeling no tension and actually aware of driving all the way. Whereas before I would often arrive tense and have been so checked out that I could not really re-call half the trip.
That’s so cool guys. I’ve practised letting go while driving also (not the wheel), and it really does make a world of difference. More so when I’m in a hurry and start to feel stressed about being late. When I just accept that I’m going to get there when I get there, I have a chance to let my body sink back into my seat and not be sitting up, head close to the windscreen hoping that if I lean forward enough I will help the car move along faster.
Excellent support Mary Louise, I have been practicing staying with me by using various points in a rhythm that keep me looking forward, checking my speed, rearview mirror and how my arms and hands and body are feeling in the seat. This makes for a much more aware journey and I know exactly where I have come from and where I am headed.
good thing that we are now aware when we are driving…. I am surprised that there are not more road accidents then there are with the number of people that drive from A to B and cannot even remember the trip.
I recently purchased a new car which has a stop/start system, this is when the car automatically shuts down the engine when you are at traffic lights or jams. I love it, for the moment when the engine shuts down, the car interior become utterly still and my body and i talk.
True Mary-Loise, why is there not as many car crashes with how people drive so wreckllessly and checked out. There are a lot incidents in cars that are not actual crashes but people abusing each other. Australia’s police and the media make such a big deal about deaths on the road every year especially during the holiday season. I have not heard them talk about being present behind the wheel its all about being safe. It would be a huge difference to drive with total respect for all and being aware and responsible of all that is happening on the road.
I agree Rik imagine if all the driving schools made it compulsory for learners to take lessons in conscious presence before they got their licence.
How crazy is that – that we can be so distracted that we arrive at the destination and not even realise how we got there. I’ve definitely done it. We can choose distraction whether it be changing the radio/music, satnavs, phone, conversations, etc. Or not – we can choose to check in, so to speak, with ourselves. A little awareness makes a big difference.
Your blog Suzanne makes clear to me that living in our bodies becomes that much more fun when we surrender to its knowing and that any tension is not needed in any situation because our bodies know how to be in those and that the tension is only there when we lose our connection with it and with that, with the reality of life.
I know I do this at the computer sometimes – lean forward, shoulders up, type faster – and I am aware of the tension. I often stop and take a breath but I have to say I’ve never thought of making friends with the tension before – love it Suzanne. I can see how letting the tension go restores the natural flow.
Thank you for sharing this Suzanne, it is a great lesson on how tension can creep up on me and then to let go and let the world be.
I agree, Susan. I often find myself thinking I’m relaxed but still holding on…for no good reason. It is a bit of a creeper, but I feel like connecting to myself in motion is a great way to work on this.
Suzanne I agree with ” Tension takes away my decision-making capabilities.”
I can totally relate to feeling anxious, and tensing up in my body when I am confronted with something new or complex on the computer. In that state I definitely can’t think clearly. I have found that by stopping, feeling my body and stating to myself that Ok I may be feeling tension which feels like anxiety or overwhelm, where I don’t feel in control, but this is not me. And I have a choice to reconnect to me by gently breathing my own breath and trusting I will know what to do next.
I agree Loretta…trust is a game-changer when it comes to control!
Dear Lorettatrap,
“Gently breathing my own breath and trusting I will know what to do next.”
The feeling of surrender and deeply trusting self is felt in theses words, thank you.
It is beautiful that you share how you learnt from the tension by listening to your body and letting it truly go as opposed to ‘fighting’ your way through it as most of us tend to do by bracing ourselves as you say for what is to come. It shows how we can always choose to re-empower ourselves in any moment simply by coming back to the body and listening to its truth
Our body is so clever giving us signals like tension that something is not so right, allowing ourselves to trust our body and let go of the tension. By doing this, it shows us we can re-empower ourselves in any moment by trusting our body and the signals they give.
Like you Amita I have come to learn the wisdom of those signals and that to ignore them will only harm my body. Trusting those signals has changed my life.
I agree Amita, the more we can listen to our bodies in any and every given the moment the more content we become. It also means we do not run our bodies down as much and so are not constantly exhausting and struggling to get though the day.
This is revealing Amita when we consider just how much tension many of us live with on a daily basis. The bodies communication is super clear, yet ingrained is the deep ill pattern of ignoring its every word
Agree Amita, The more we choose to connect to our bodies the more we can trust the signals they give us regarding any situation in life and deal with it with simplicity and flow.
Absolutely Joshua choosing to recognise and actively release tension when it arises rather than ‘bracing’ against it allows the body to show us the way forward.
I have fought through life a lot, held back and attempted to brace and protect myself from perceived possible hurt or danger, it is interesting to consider there is another way for us to respond to tension coming up in our bodies. I am feeling my way with this and have felt the more that I practice feeling the tension rather than trying to run away or deny the feeling the more I see what the purpose of it is rather than see it as failure or a problem. as you say “coming back to the body and listening to its truth”.
The truth of every action, every word, even every thought is actually with us all the time, I am learning the body has a lot of wisdom to share it is only us that ignore it perhaps because of the responsibility it is calling us to live
I also love that Suzanne was able to let go and trust her car. If the car is the extension of the body, then Suzanne was letting go and trusting in the wisdom and skill of her own body too, as you say Joshua, which did not let her down – awesome! This speaks volumes about the innate trust Suzanne already has in relationship to herself to be able to surrender like that.
What a fabulous realisation Suzanne. Making friends with tension. We can either work WITH it in life… choosing to release it or allowing it to support us.
I agree Kathryn, rather than wanting to bury and suppress the tension we can embrace it and use it to help us deepen our connection with ourselves. We are here to learn and not be perfect after all!
That’s right kathrynfortuna. Feeling what is there in our bodies isn’t a chance to self-bash but an opportunity to observe and release it, with no judgement whatsoever. This teaching from Serge Benhayon has been life-changing for me.
Good point Kathryn… tension is always going to be there in this situation or that. Its not about trying to avoid it, but clocking when it is there and then what we choose to do with it.
Yes kathrynfortuna! And all this time I’ve been seeing tension and anxiety as the enemy.
What a great example of the power of choice, that we can all be….”the master of life, not the other way around..”
I love the trust you had within yourself to be able accept and to let go of the tension you were feeling and the reflection that that gave you Suzanne in relation to work and other things in your life. And also love this acknowledgement “It is because of Serge Benhayon’s continued commitment to humanity and truth that I choose everyday to continue my relationship with my body so that I am the master of life, not the other way round”.
I too loved the acknowledgement Deidremedbury.
I really love the simplicity of what you’re sharing. Yet although so simple we rarely bring this awareness to our daily life and interactions. What’s funny is that the anxiety induced body posture doesn’t even help. It just magnifies tension throughout the body.
The other day I was running late and realised I was holding onto my hairdryer so tightly and shaking it all along my head – as if this was somehow going to make its electrical capacity work faster. Crazy huh? What I did realise was that it was actually slower!
When I brought the focus back to my actions in that moment I realised that: holding it on one section of hair with detailed hairbrush use in the other hand was so so so much more efficient.
It’s crazy to think how much productivity and quality of work we actually loose when we take on pressure and let it impact our body.
I had a little laugh reading this Heidi because I have done the same, and it is ridiculous, as it doesn’t make anything faster. I find I get my hair caught up in the brush and then it hurts to pull it out and I have to go back to square one again. It is such a different experience when I take my time and enjoy the experience instead of seeing it as another chore to get done so I can get on to the next thing.
I have done the same with garden machinery when trying to get a job done faster and the only thing I succeed in doing is wearing myself out faster without getting the job done any quicker.
So true Heidi, ‘It’s crazy to think how much productivity and quality of work we actually loose when we take on pressure and let it impact our body.’ . . . And when we do let go time seems to slow down and everything falls into its rightful place in its rightful time.
Very true Kathleenbaldwin.. and don’t you find that it’s as if time stands still too when we let go… i find that when i’m in rhythm with myself, connected, enjoying what i’m doing instead of rushing, that the time taken in the activity as marked by the clock has taken a less amount of time, and feels so spacious. It allows us the feeling of capacity, and in this we are more efficient.
Yes I agree Zofia, when we let go it is as if time stands still and a space opens up and you feel like you have ‘all the time in the world’. I now understand where that old saying came from!
It’s true we can bring tension to any thing and begin to sabotage the health and well-being of our body and the quality of our thoughts. I love your simple example of using your hairdryer “It’s crazy to think how much productivity and quality of work we actually loose when we take on pressure and let it impact our body.” I know that for me going to bed with a clear mind is very important otherwise my sleep is impaired and I can start the next day already severely compromised and feeling stress in my body.
Absolutely Heidi, well said and I can totally relate! – “What’s funny is that the anxiety induced body posture doesn’t even help. It just magnifies tension throughout the body.”
This is so true Heidi…our reactions to life’s situations creates so much extra work, stress and tension within our bodies and our lives.
“…how much productivity and quality of work we actually loose when we take on pressure and let it impact our body.” Perhaps this is why there is so much illness and disease, and work absenteeism in the world today…
Beautiful comment and so true Heidi. In my experience, when hurrying, I forget things, or do something that causes me to take longer.
Like it is self perpetuating, proving that hurry is needed, because things might go pear shaped. When I do things with presence, very little goes pear shaped and I get so much more achieved in the time I have. The power of living gently and connected never ceases to show me that this is our true way of being.
Such a great point Heidi Baldwin “…anxiety induced body posture doesn’t even help. It just magnifies tension throughout the body.” I see this in work a lot, we often exacerbate the tension, hardness and injury potential in our bodies and embed behaviours though posture that does not support us.
I smiled at your comment Heidi as I recognise your point so well. So true – the body posture doesn’t help one iota. In that moment we can choose to continue in stubborn reaction or we can choose to let it go. I am reminded of the old proverb “more haste less speed” – in this case “more tension – more frustration – more hardening – more illness and disease”!
Very good example Heidi. We think we will be faster when we rush but in fact we are only tensed and all our movements become ‘squared’, hard and uncoordinated, and in this we are literally fighting ourselves and not getting nowhere any faster but leaving havoc in our wake.
Classic, I have found myself in a very similar situation, running late and holding the steering wheel of my car so tight that I feak myself out when I bring my attention to it. What I find fascinating is that it takes a while for me to notice I am doing it, so if I am not aware of my clutching grip, then where am I?
I can so relate to what you share Heidi I have so often ‘caught’ myself holding tightly onto objects and in that moment felt the difference when I stop, relax and go back to what I was doing. The quality shifts and so does my presence and enjoyment of what I am doing. I find I bring a more conscious quality and that seems to ease the unconscious protection I find that equates to tension in how I move in my body.
And I agree it just magnifies the tension holding our bodies in this way and does little to reduced our anxiety. I always find this more so when I place myself under pressure, a deadline or in reaction to someone or even to how I think someone will respond to me. So much here to ponder on and explore.
Running late is killer, a race that i frequently choose with time and always loose.
Thank you for sharing this great example Suzanne, that through a conscious relationship with our body not only are we able to be aware of when tension arises but we can also then choose to let go of it, better equipped to observe rather than absorb situations we find ourselves in. Serge Benhayon has also been for me the number one voice on this resounding truth.
This is very true Giselle – if we stay consiously present in our bodies, it will tell us all we need to know.
“The lesson I learned from all this is that I can make friends with tension as it is there to show me something first and then it is up to me to make choices that either help release the tension or instead work with it in a way that best supports me” – totally practical Suzanne, there is always the choice, only last week or so ago, I recall having a similar experience with feeling anxiousness….I could feel its rise elevating in me, and then as soon as I clocked it, and said no, ‘it’s ok’ to my anxious self, I stopped becoming overwhelmed, and came back to myself within seconds. Note it, deal with it, continue with a new choice.
I wonder if you can be an air traffic controller while feeling that the whole airspace you are working in is your body?
I love this Christoph and I would say yes. Must be totally awesome to work as an air traffic controller like this, sitting relaxed, feeling the whole air space with your body and coordinate the planes/all the people taking off and landing, circling, going from a to b. Definitely super spacious. I might still train to become an air traffic controller 🙂 And how awesome would it be to learn it that way, first lesson you learn would be: ‘stay with you all the time let your body do the work, Class, in fact the body does more than your brain in this job.’
Absolutely Christoph, great point. Every movement we make affects the space in which we make it. And the quality of energy we use to make these moves is the quality of energy that will magnify throughout our bodies and beyond, into the space in which we are moving. Much like a swimmer in a pool, if we slap our hands ferociously on the surface, we will make waves that will affect the quality of the water in which others also swim. The sooner we understand that our every move affects the All, our greater body, the sooner we can understand that we have an enormous responsibility in providing the quality of energy in which we all live. If we strike a discordant note within ourselves, then this note will sound out into space for others to hear. Thus, world harmony begins with our ability to take responsibility for the quality of our movements and the ‘sound’ that they make – are they made with love, or without?
Beautifully expressed Liane Mandalis and loved the ending: Thus, world harmony begins with our ability to take responsibility for the quality of our movements and the ‘sound’ that they make – are they made with love, or without? Simplicity in wisdom!
The sounds we make with our movements is a powerful image Lianne and one that has enlightened me since joining Universal Medicine and The Way of the Livingness. Energetic responsibility is the key to our return and I ‘love’ that I am integral to this truth. It is the only thing that makes total sense to my life.
The spaciousness that your comment brings possibility to, Christoph is immense, both literally and energetically (they are the same really) and confirms the truth that we are all part of the whole. Beautiful, I love, love, love it!
Suzanne I love your awareness of tension as an indicator that you had momentarily lost connection with your natural way of being with your body. And I also appreciate that you honour what Serge Benhayon contributes in his every breath to presenting to humanity how to return to this natural way – The Way of the Livingness.
‘And I also appreciate that you honour what Serge Benhayon contributes in his every breath to presenting to humanity how to return to this natural way – The Way of the Livingness.’ – well said Bernadette, Serge Benhayon is the leading light for all of humanity.
I love the concept of making friends with the tension to see what it is there to show you and then choosing to release it or work with it in a way that supports you in mastering life rather than live as we do in reaction to it – an awesome lesson to share.
Yes me too Samantha I am learning to live with tension and listen to the message it is giving me rather then judging it or trying to ignore that it is there by distracting myself.
Absolutely Samantha and Mary-Louise, I agree, the tension and anxiety never leave, I just use them as markers and when there is too much tension or anxiety I use the tools that are presented by Serge Benhayon to bring a greater depth of me. Then I can no longer be controlled by anything that is coming in from the out side like nervous tension.
For me Greg the anxiety does go when I am present with myself and not thinking about the next thing that needs doing and worrying that I may not be able to do it. The tension is just about always there as it is pulling me to be the ‘more’ I know myself to be but as yet I have chosen the comfort of being ‘less’.
I loved this too, “making friends with the tension”. This is such a great way of living as tension is always there and we can only be in harmony with our body when the tension is a marker of what is going on and with this, not something that blocks our connection to ourselves.
Yeah I really felt this was key in what Suzanne presented, developing a relationship with our tension and really getting to understand and know why it may be there. Love these blogs as there is always something new to learn and discover about how you live.
I love this too Samantha ‘making friends with tension’ not ignoring or fighting, but feeling into it to understand the gift offered. Mastering not reacting to the life we’ve created is the way.
Yes Suzanne working wth the tension and what our bodies are communicating with us opens up a new path of self discovery. It allows for a new choice to make adjustments that are supportive for our bodies and how we feel. Awesome.
I use to hate any tension I felt in my body and wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible, until I realised and accepted that this tension is a way in which my body shows me that something is not as it should be and that it is my turn to choose to make a change. By now I appreciate when I feel tension in my body, because it offers me an opportunity to let go of something that is not supportive for me.
Great point Michael. It’s interesting how we can even fight the tension, which is only revealing to us that there is already a ‘fight’ or ‘struggle’ within.
I agree Michael, I am now embracing fully the tensions I feel and becoming way more in tune with feeling them sooner rather than later. Accepting that my body has life times full of tensions to release has been the greatest support for me. For I can feel the full beauty of my essence and this is simply supporting my body to surrender to it, as the pull to live my essence expands my awareness. This means that I feel more, feel it sooner, and respond, allowing my body the grace to accept the fullness of beauty that lives within it.
Every moment of tension is a reminder to let go of more protection, to let the world in even more, to be even more real, to move with our bodies in deeper connection and presence. Tension can be subtle or even accepted and dismissed as normal, but being aware of tension is the body’s gift in reminding us to be back in rhythm with the evolutionary pull.
Beautiful insight Adele, ‘tension is the body’s gift in reminding us to be back in rhythm with the evolutionary pull’, I have never seen it like this before and it will be a great reminder when I next feel tension.
Yes, Adele this is beautiful.. “tension is the body’s gift in reminding us to be back in rhythm with the evolutionary pull.” It reminds me of a scientific fact I read somewhere that the body is always wanting to be in equilibrium, bringing itself back to balance and the body speaks very clearly to let us know when we are out of balance.
Our body is a divine, delicate, finely tuned and efficient instrument that communicates always if we are willing to only notice.
The part we have to be responsible for is the willingness “to be aware”!
So true Michelle, our part is to be aware and once aware, respond.
Yes Adele tension can be a gift and something to remind us that another layer of the onion can be peeled back to reveal the tenderness underneath. At some point that layer will itself be peeled back as we are called even deeper to feel and be who we truly are.
Indeed great way to look at it, to take tension as a marker and an invitation to let go, open up and surrender. Then all constellates around us in a different way, like with you Suzanne the car becomes an extension of you.
A powerful reminder Caroline that when we let go, open up and surrender all constellates around us…. will take this into my day!
I love that, Caroline. Fighting tension creates even more tension.
I often feel the tension in my job and am currently playing with how I am in my day which can contribute towards the stress I feel in my body, so seeing it as a gift is very helpful. Thank you Adele.
So often i relate to tension with negativity, thank-you Adele for reminding me that it is a true gift that will never cease from it’s pull towards more.
tension is a beautiful reminder of the creation we put in the way of being more.
I’ve never seen it like this. I’m loving this post and the comments more and more. I’m learning so much, all on the back of a driving experience! Goes to show we can learn from even the simplest of daily occurrences. Love what you say here.
Thank you Suzanne… Yet another wonderful article on the practical application of connecting with our bodies, observing and feeling, and with this letting go and breaking yet another stress cycle… Note ..this could be published in one of those four-wheel-drive magazines ☺
Great idea Chris! I too love her practical application and feeling of what her body is sharing. Super inspiring and as you say ‘breaking another stress cycle’
Thank you Suzanne and cjames2012, I agree, understanding that we ‘observe and feel’ from our body and realise anxiety is not who we are, and that the anxiousness never leaves us, I learn to use the mechanisms as presented by Serge Benhayon to observe and not absorb! For a truly amazing study on anxiety, see below!
Understanding Anxiety in Men – ONLINE COURSE
http://study.coum.org/enrol/index.php?id=14
True! This would be a great advertising message- and in fact in this case a true one 🙂
True Chris, this would be a great article for a car magazine.. simple message and very bridging to the enthusiasts who go driving for stimulation.