1,296 thoughts on “The Need to Control vs Self-responsibility”

1. ‘My body is here to support me through my life and to keep me functioning beautifully for the purpose I was made for, and that is to bring love to humanity.” This statement is to say it’s solely about the body, the boss of everything. And when we really look at this from the inside, IT takes care of itself more than ever. Whilst the mind takes us to so many places and runs us ragged, but the exact place we need to be with, is our bodies.

   Much to ponder over with this blog.

2. The word ‘control’ feels hard and restrictive but ‘self-responsibility’ feels loving and expansive.

3. This is the lie that we are sold: “I will feel safer if I am in control of a situation or thing” – the illusion of control is a strong one to break, and whilst surrendering to a situation is seen as being weak, in reality a surrender is one where we allow the forces to be seen for what they are and hence allow our true strengths to come to the fore. I used to think that surrender and submission were the same thing but I have now learned that surrendering to one’s inner strength and wisdom is completely different to submitting oneself to the forces of control

   1. I like what you have shared Henrietta. Control is a definite hardening and surrendering is saying you, your body and the internal wisdom within you, knows exactly what is correct/supportive for it. Let the mind not lead, let the body be your loving divine boss.

4. Thank you Julie for stating it as it is: Anxiety is a choice – and this is the hard part to accept…. Each time I choose to go into anxiety I am simply denying myself the greater picture the opportunity to feel and read what is actually happening.

5. Julie, this is such a familiar experience for me too: “So in actual fact, my whole body has been affected and influenced by my choice to force and control just to get a job/task done, with no consideration for the naturally loving rhythm that my body was in before this occurred.”

6. Stopping blaming, and looking at our part in a situation is bringing back responsibility, ‘Now at those times when I can feel myself wanting to blame, I remind myself what is really being asked of me here, and keep it really simple and honouring of my body and its true function.’

7. When get anxious, with complications and tension could it be we are actually going into self judgement and comparison and thus lessening who we are by loosing our connection to our essences?

8. I misread “I don’t need to judge it in any way.” as ‘I don’t need to judge it and get in the way’. Which equally works as that part that wants control and complication has had the spotlight for far too long. Whereas the grandness within doesn’t make a song and dance about anything because everything it does feels lovely.

   1. And comes with the ensuing appreciation of our essences. Thus when we are living with the authority and confirmation of that connection to our essence we live with a purpose.

9. I love that you started this blog with a situation about answering a question for study and what you noticed is the anxiety came when you just wanted to move on from the questions you didn’t know how to answer as this is so relatable to how we deal with moments of unknowns. I have found it is the arrogance of my intelligence that wants to know all the answers and feels less if I don’t, but the more I let go of that need to know it all, the more the answers to the issues or questions in front of me are there.

   1. Spot on Lucy – that’s exactly it… the more we let go of needing to know things then the more the answers come to us. The less we try the more ease there is and the more the answers are there for us.

10. “my body naturally knows how to do this if I have built a consistent steadiness within me.” We can get so cross with ourselves for not handling a situation well but if we have not walked that way before the crucial moment, how can we expect ourselves to be steady or handle the supposed ‘onslaught’?

11. “My whole theory around control is that I will feel safer if I am in control of a situation or thing, but this is an absolutely ridiculous expectation and leaves no room for me just being me in my preciousness and love.” You’ve reminded me that simply being me allows me to respond to whatever comes my way, and I don’t need to know what those things are. Being me takes care of everything.

12. “My whole theory around control is that I will feel safer if I am in control of a situation or thing, but this is an absolutely ridiculous expectation and leaves no room for me just being me in my preciousness and love.” It’s a great point Julie that when we project what we think we need onto an outside situation, onto an outcome, we give our power to something we can’t actually control and nor can it deliver what we think we need no matter how enticing the picture is of what it might give us, simply because there is nothing greater than the stillness, truth, love and joy within ourselves.

13. “As Eleanor Roosevelt has been quoted as saying, “No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” This phrase made me realise how many times in the past I have actually felt inferior because I made the choice to believe that it was true when deep down I know it not to be true at all.

14. Putting pressure on ourselves to ‘get’ something or finish a task we are under the straight-jacket of time instead of giving ourselves space to be who we are.

    1. This pressure is at the expense of our bodies, ‘there is no focus on my quality of be-ing whatsoever and I have taken myself away from feeling my body, and so I lose all sense of what my body may need or is communicating to me. My drive is just to finish the task’.

15. To surrender to life takes away the need to control, this is something I am learning more about each day.

16. “No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Amen 🙌 could it be not that someone else is in control of our sense of worth but that we are in full jurisdiction of how we feel and our own sense of worth – and that we can never actually blame another person for what we choose.

17. We know so much more than we allow ourselves to feel or know, the more we surrender and feel the stillness from within, the easier it is to access the wisdom we hold within.

18. I’ve been reflecting on how this need to control occurs in my relationships. I feel frustrated and get a headache when people don’t do what I want them to. I hold a picture I demand they live up to but in holding such an expectation I have to bend myself out of shape, act differently to how I feel to truly and impose my expectations onto others. It’s horrible.

    1. Same as blaming another instead of being responsible, and looking at our part in the whole, ‘I am choosing to step up in my self-responsibility and claiming more and more my part in situations, I can feel the huge difference in my body and how spacious it feels to claim myself back from the thoughts that will take me down the blaming path and away from my own wise, inner counsel.’

    2. Agreed Leigh, it is horrible to feel what the choice of control has as an effect on our body. And yet this is something that I too am familiar with in terms of experiencing it time and time again!
       It takes a while to renounce this way of doing things as there seems to be a momentum in such choices, however, every little step of awareness is an amazing start to begin to change all of this.

19. The education system educates us to move well in cycles of peaks (exams) and withdraw, through the method of memorizing what we study.

20. There is much to be understood about the body that we currently are unaware of. That is why I greatly appreciate the teachings of Serge Benhayon. He puts the body into the picture and changes it from a thing in life we walk around in, to the vehicle of our soul.

21. Julie thank you for these words they were just wanted I needed to read this morning
    “There’s no need for any picture of how that might look like, just a choice to stay with my body, breathe my breath and allow my innate, deep wisdom to guide me. My body is my love barometer and my greatest guide, so if I take all of me to everything that I do (no perfection of course), then everyone gets a woman who is the real me as absolute love in motion.”
    Re learning to trust my innate ability to know what is going all the time I don’t have to call it but just observe and claim my knowing.

    1. We live in such a degrading and dismissive society, a society that doesn’t recognise the absolute beauty of each person’s essence, a society where we are reduced to function, appearance, qualifications, etc, so it’s no wonder we don’t realise what we have inside of us and that it’s the answer to all of life’s big questions and dilemmas.

22. I can very much relate to this, and control for me is very much tied in with a desire of ownership, and our body is so brilliant at alerting this disharmony, or even a dis-ease, as it knows it self as a vehicle of expression and there’s nothing for it to own.

23. To believe one can be ‘in control’ is an illusion and is a false and draining security as one constantly has to constantly adapt to the ever-changing choices as nothing is permanent.

24. Seeing our responsibility within situations takes away the pressure and constriction of defending ourselves, being right, being victim etc. It is very empowering when I do that because I can see my choices that led there and the choices that I can make thereafter.

25. ‘surrendering to my own grandness and wisdom and saying I am confirming myself as absolute right here and now’ There is no need for a fight, to control or change anything about ourseves or the situation. Our mind will try to do that and will want to resist that fact that we are absolute.

26. I can also go into tension when I am studying. I love reading about what’s going on with people’s health and healthcare but when it comes to writing an essay the tension is there. I find a lot of unconscious reactions come up, due to the way I have related to education. Needing to get it right, being frustrated that they only want to hear what they think regurgitated back to them, wanting good marks for recognition etc. is all there and creates havoc in my otherwise lovely body. I am working as you are Julie to just stay present with me and the task at hand and not allow all these old beliefs to run me.

    1. ha ha yes I can so relate to that. When it comes to healthcare it is all such a mess and we don’t seem to be living better, simply existing better, and that is hard to write about without being frustrated and not offering what is needed to tick the box!

    2. Seeking recognition and acceptance can creep into our lives, ‘ I can feel within me the tension that I am wanting to finish this question because in my mind, when I answer this question, I can go onto the next question and there is a sense of achievement and recognition from that.’

27. Thank you Julie for a great blog on control and responsibility, I just realised that my false understanding in the past and still is to some degree is that to control things is being responsibility and it goes back to childhood where when things went wrong you were blamed for not being responsible and in control in the first place, so control came in as a way to stay supposedly safe.

28. If we surrender to the stillness we all innately have within the control no longer exists.

29. ‘When I let go of control and surrender, what transpires is the most beautiful dance and flow within me that feels spacious, alive and full of love; a love that only knows how to be itself.’ It’s awesome how things work out if we let them and we are content with being absolutely present.

30. It’s great to be reminded that the push and drive to get things done really is a form of control.

31. I have found in claiming what it is that truly is needed in the busyness of it all
    is to appreciate what is on offer through each unfolding event. As Julie explores it is the surrendering to what is already there i.e. a completion has been given in what has been presented. My full responsibility is to bring what it is that is being asked for. As in “I am only doing this because that deflects away from the fact that I don’t wish to feel that I haven’t taken full responsibility for my feelings and am thus using the situation as the reason for my tension.”

32. Spot on Julie, control, ‘right and wrong’ and ‘good and bad ‘all have to go out the window if we are to truly connect to who we truly are. Instead we need to allow our body to call the shots as the body never lies, whereas the controlling mind is full of lies as this is what is being fed to us.

33. Sometimes we need to get out of our own way and come back to simply feeling how we are in our bodies and allowing our decisions to arise from there.

    1. Definitely, sitting back and feeling gives us a moment to pause at a fork in the road. Surrender OR control. Rather than just going straight to control without considering there’s another way.

34. Likewise I’ve noticed the desire to control things in the way I approach life, and that is a constant, wearying and impossible journey. But to develop a steadiness in myself… that is possible, feels pretty good, and has an influence on the quality of everything I do. So so simple.

35. This is a beautiful reminder for us to keep on coming back to the body and honour where we are at. I love how deepening our love and respect for ourselves allows a greater settlement and feeling of fullness inside.

    1. Building a foundation of settlement is a great choice, ‘my job is to keep my body in a constant balance and my body naturally knows how to do this if I have built a consistent steadiness within me.’

36. If we look for resolution outside of ourselves then we will be lost in trying to control things that we simply can’t but what we can do is look for what needs to be resolved within us and address that, a continual process of learning and understanding.

37. Does the need for control come from a need to be right? I just wonder this because I have a friend who has to be right all the time and I sense it comes from a need to control every situation so that they feel okay in the world.

38. “When I let go of control and surrender, what transpires is the most beautiful dance and flow within me that feels spacious, alive and full of love; a love that only knows how to be itself.” So much of the way we live life in control is to stay safe, which leaves us with hardness and tension in our bodies, when we can let go and surrender to the innate knowing we have within us life takes on a joy and a flow that is so beautiful to feel.

39. Your true sense of responsibility here is very honest and absolute , “there is a knowing that it is absolutely my choice to choose to go into tension or not.” and how we try and control life and not allow ourselves to surrender to the glory and love we are allowing our divinity to shine.

40. “In not labelling it, I am choosing to be fully responsible for myself in that moment and then it is just something that I need to complete and I don’t need to judge it in any way.” – I really like this line, and have noticed that as soon as I label and thus judge a person for their behaviour or something they did (especially if I felt hurt by their actions) I have both closed myself down to connecting with them and also, given them an excuse to stay protected to me, at the same time as not being responsible about the possibility of my own choices leading to this situation in the first place or me getting something out of creating a complication to avoid feeling something else in my life.

41. And the extraordinary thing is that, if we do simply stay with ourselves, and allow our gentle breath to reignite our awareness of who we truly are, all of our answers are there within. thank you Julie.

    1. Absolutely Chris, we never need to search for anything outside of ourselves we are connected to our inner hearts.

42. “And then came an ‘aha’ moment when I realised this situation is not asking me to change myself at all,” Those beautiful ‘aha’ moments when we feel the truth.

43. How simple, life presents us with a situation, how we are with it is our choice, and any stress we go into is not needed, we truly are masters of our own destinies. And this quote I love ‘I am so much more than my mind will allow me to know and my responsibility is to own this truth and live it as completely as I can in any given moment.’ … we are more than our mind.

44. Bringing it back to the quality we are in when doing things is more important than just getting things done. We can get caught in having to do things, and achieving, but then can lose a sense of our quality and presence.

45. I’ve noticed that I can go into trying to control something or someone when I’m attached to or invested in a certain outcome… Being aware of this helps me to be more aware of bringing my focus back to the quality in which I’m expressing and making that the number one priority – from there is doesn’t matter how the other responds as long as I know that what I expressed and offered was of a truly loving quality.

46. In life we can easily find ourselves in situations where we tend to submit our body to a pattern of movement that invites us to move in disconnection from ourselves, to detach from the all and to reduce our focus to a point that is really quite insignificant. This pattern naturally brings an enormous amount of tension into the body.

47. So often we can think that we are not choosing tension, anxiousness etc- that it is from circumstances or it is just a state that we are in and can’t get out of. Recently I have become more aware that these things are a choice and I would have been rather annoyed if someone had suggested this in previous years. It is empowering to become aware of our choices because then we can make a different choice.

    1. Absolutely Simone, and when we can just let ourselves be with the tension or anxiousness etc, we get to feel how powerful we are and that the thing that we felt was bigger than us, is minuscule in comparison, because love just can’t help being more than what we think is stopping us.

48. Working in health care I see the direct effects of needing to control on our wellbeing, having to be in control with out trusting the natural flow of the universe takes al to of energy and ultimately will always take its toll on the body.

    1. Good point Sam – in living, in the body, in relationships, in work… the same pattern plays out.

49. When we bring in complication/control, there is a struggle as we are basically fighting against our own love and not allowing it to just be within us.

50. I realise how much I am still holding onto control, how the hardness in my body never feels great or supportive for myself or the people around me. Last night I got to feel what it is like to let go of control and surrender to what is needed next instead of trying to control the outcome. There was no hardness or tension in my body and the quality of my movements felt more gentle and loving.

51. I am appreciating more and more that there is always something for me to learn in every situation, no matter how much it seems another is causing the abuse etc.

52. There is definitely a double whammy with a control freak streak – the stranglehold of needing to be in control, the fact that the drive for control requires constant feeding in order to satisfy our underlying self-worth, trust and protection issues. So we lunge from thing to thing in an attempt to steer the course of events and smash our bodies through tension, anxiety and exhaustion in the process. And the ridiculous thing is, there’s so much more available to us when we’re able to surrender to our bodies and to approach life from the flow and stillness it naturally lives in. A great note to self…

53. I can relate with having tried to control my exterior as I never felt safe as a child, for me this was having far too many things in my house – things for every eventuality, but as you say this is not the answer, this is quite exhausting. I am learning to stay with my body, and trusting what is impulsed from here.

    1. Beautiful Lorraine, we are all with you in every moment.

54. When we try and control things as you describe we lose connection with our body, and so are unable to surrender to the body’s innate wisdom.

55. Everything always comes back to love and true appreciation, as if we have appreciation for ourselves and really claim and express all of the love we are actually choosing in that moment, we will have a stronger love foundation from which to move from. You know those things that you just cannot go back on, so establishing a more solid love foundation supports us to go deeper with that.

56. Drive and control can be a default program for many, if not connected and present in our bodies then anything can happen and we are off into the manic and driven behaviours of the spirit, it is only through our ability to surrender that we can live in the flow of life, and in connection with our soul.

57. I feel the way life is currently set up it is always pulling us out of our bodies, it is so stimulating. Everywhere you go everyone is in a rush to get somewhere, patience has seemingly disappeared in a society that wants everything instantly. So to me it feels as though there is a mastery in just being ourselves and staying in our bodies. The more we develop an intimacy with ourselves the easier it becomes to stay in connection.

58. Awesome how you claim ‘I am actually surrendering to my own grandness and wisdom’. Trying to control things is such a contraction in our bodies and when we choose to surrender the expansion is instant. I have been observing the areas of my life where I still have a tendency to go into control mode and rather than beating myself up I go ‘Ooops at it again’ and then I have the option to choose surrender and the innate connection to what is being presented for me to address.

    1. Recently I became aware that I was short changing myself when I nominated a way of being that was not supportive and brought in appreciation to confirm me. I realised that when I express what I am actually doing when I choose to not do whatever it was, this was putting it into my foundational love bank. For example, the other day at work, I realised that I was starting to move in a rushed way with the children and changing nappies, so I stopped myself and started to tell myself how much love I will have in my arms as a result of coming back to me, and then that tenderness will allow the child to feel supported and nourished by that tender love and they have an opportunity to know what true caring is from that experience.

    2. Yes, letting go of control and surrendering to the bigger plan is something that I am choosing to deepen in my life.

59. Whenever we make it about what is externally going to take place we have forgotten ourselves and the importance of staying connected with our bodies so that there is space to move through what is there. When we can just focus on how we are moving and the quality of that movement, the tension drops away, and what then needs to be done, is a joy to do.

60. We always have a choice, I love your new responsibility, ‘I am choosing to step up in my self-responsibility and claiming more and more my part in situations, I can feel the huge difference in my body and how spacious it feels to claim myself back from the thoughts that will take me down the blaming path and away from my own wise, inner counsel.’

61. Timely to read as I have a busy day and don’t know exactly what will be happening, I felt so tense about it, but realising that it is actually about my own resistance to letting go of control and just go with what is there, knowing I will be more than fine in the moment. It is just that wanting to know beforehand and ‘prepare’ or better said control the situation, that makes it a big day not really the day itself. It is our reaction to what we think is coming and the feeling of lack of control over that before the moment is there instead of the activities we have to do at that moment.

62. The need to control comes from a fear of being hurt and is fed by our unresolved hurts, a breeding ground for emotions and reactions.

63. As soon as you start to rush the body, your movements change and your out of the flow. Needing to control is something I am very familiar with also, but there is no flow in control because your actually working against your bodies natural rhythm so its like having an internal tug of war with yourself and your needs, which affects your nervous system and kidneys.

64. As an ex control aficionado, I can attest to the fact that it takes huge amounts of energy to try and control situations, and of course the reality is, your never actually do. I now much prefer allowing myself the space to be and observe, however I still do feel the urge creeping in from time to time. Old habits take a while to get out of your system.

65. It’s gorgeous what you’ve presented about your connection to life and responsibility being your anchor, as opposed to a control/dominance which many people rely on to stay steady. Because, what if our reliance on control was the thing keeping us out-of-control, shut down and in an enormous state of stress, which actually reduces our intelligence and what we have access to?

66. The simplicity you present here Julie is lovely, that’s the thing, life and it’s tasks just are, yet we colour them with an opinion which is not needed, we are simply asked to turn up and meet it as us. What I feel very strongly with control is that it cuts us off from ourselves and life and it travels pre-determined paths without taking in the grandeur that is in us and all around, it’s cuts us off from the magnificence of who we are. So my next task to simply meet that next task as me.

67. When I am trying to be in control, I separate from the energetic support that is always there. I feel like I have to harden up, do it all myself, and it feels like hard work. Surrendering is the complete opposite, where I know I am part of the whole big picture, there is ease and no struggle in my body. More and more I am realising that we choose to go into control and struggle so we can feel individual and separate, even though it feels horrible in the body.

68. “There’s no need for any picture of how that might look like, just a choice to stay with my body, breathe my breath and allow my innate, deep wisdom to guide me. My body is my love barometer and my greatest guide” Yes I so agree – and it needs practice……. Lovingly reminding myself this is the way……

69. “…. my whole body has been affected and influenced by my choice to force and control just to get a job/task done, with no consideration for the naturally loving rhythm that my body was in before this occurred.” A good point Julie. When we want to achieve – for whatever reason, for completing a task or for recognition, we are not in the moment or flow of life. Listening to what our body wants in each moment supports us to be in harmony and not control.

70. There is something incredibly liberating about knowing that stress is a choice. Every time I feel it these days I remind myself of that and it naturally eases and allows the opportunity to flow (which I may or may not take as I’m still ironing out the wrinkles).

71. We seem to have lost the ability to flow with life… To know ourselves deeply enough, as to be a part of a flow – that naturally will contain unexpected challenges, bumps and turns, but nevertheless we have the capacity to feel the flow underpinning all that occurs in our day, our week, our year, and so it goes…
    Restoring the sense of flow to our own bodies is what enables us to meet what is before us, and address those tensions that have taken us away from such a naturally connected way of being – to truly examine what works and what doesn’t, and realise that what we allow ourselves to be beholden to, is all a matter of choice and will. Essentially, our stresses, anxiousness and tensions are of our own making.

72. Stillness – known and experienced within our own body and being – is an ‘essential’ for life today, isn’t it Julie… There are just so many factors seeking to pull us away from the beauty of being with ourselves.
    And as you’ve shared here, it takes time and dedication to shift away from old ways that actually do not serve us, and recognise that our relationship with our own body, in all the activities of our day (and night) is what can hold us, if we make it about love, and nothing less than this.

73. It is not in our bodies natural nature to control any situation or circumstance. Our body naturally wants to flow and simply live in the fullness of the moment. This means our body naturally seeks fragility and vulnerablility.

74. The need to control comes purely from the security seeking behaviour we have all grown up with in life which is to seek a safe and comfortable life and conform because if you don’t you could get a finger or two pointed at you for doing the wrong thing. It is most definitely not natural to live this way but it is understandably the way we have thought life has to be.

75. When we stay connected to us and move feeling our bodies, we are actually observing life and there is no us in that moment, so then the tension in that moment goes, and we are left in the grace of our own wisdom and presence.

76. So true Julie. When we take responsibility it actually frees us up.

77. True, it is always our choice to be less, never out of our will.

78. Trying to control is a form of protection that takes me into the illusion and comfort of false security. Pure individuality that hardens my body and stops me to feel the natural flow of expressing freely who I am. When I check how my body feels and moves, I can see clearly where I am at. Then, and in every second of my life, I have the choice of feeling again, surrender and trust in the only possible way to truly live: opening and allowing myself to simply be.

79. When I feel a change in energy and my body starts to harden or tense up, I know love is not with me and my movements have changed. Calling out what has been chosen, brings you into your true power, the power of claiming the love that you are, and moving in that divine love.

80. Reading this felt very supportive right now as when in the thick of it the control can feel very strong but this is fact is a lie. Because when I come back to my body that stillness allows the the control to run out of steam and eventually die out. I start to come around to being open to my self-responsbilty once again. The more I take responsibility for how I feel the simpler life becomes.

81. This is a great article for bringing awareness to the habit of multi-tasking. What’s more supportive – saving 10 seconds or the quality of what it is I’m attending to?

82. How simple is the key to live and appreciate life in full – to choose connection with our bodies always, and not give over to any external situation as being more important, valuable or urgent.

83. “Control” or having control ‘issues’ really does have far reaching and on-going affects on us all both physiologically and mentally, it is so worth taking the opportunity to address these old paradigms, and to start to let go.

84. The hardening of our bodies is a clear message that we have invested in something that is outside our control and a reminder, to instead be honest let it go and appreciate what has been given to us in order to maximize and surrender to more of what we truly deserve.

85. Thanks Julie this was a beautiful blog to read, I also used to live with a lot of control and I have been letting this go over time and I have felt the difference in my body change to feeling much lighter, more joy and tenderness and more simplicity in my life – I realised living with control is very exhausting as you are always trying to fit life into a certain picture or outcome instead of being part of the flow and magic life can always be offering us.

86. Labelling things we’ve done or not done, said or not said, as right or wrong, good or bad, keeps our perspective on the smallness of the issue rather than seeing the bigger picture. When we appreciate that every moment is an opportunity to learn, life feels expansive and endless in its bounty.

87. We work based on programs of our own creation. We have a routine of how we go about life that is silent but inexorable. We may not be aware of it, but it is there. And, it has a lot of power over us. The good news is that once we pick it up and realize this, we can say yes or not to it.

88. “Now that I am choosing to step up in my self-responsibility and claiming more and more my part in situations, I can feel the huge difference in my body and how spacious it feels to claim myself back from the thoughts that will take me down the blaming path and away from my own wise, inner counsel. Now at those times when I can feel myself wanting to blame, I remind myself what is really being asked of me here, and keep it really simple and honouring of my body and its true function.” I agree I do feel so much more inspired by the spaciousness in my own body- its much easier to be responsible when feeling the spaciousness – these two factors seem to support each other and the opposite is also true- when i choose to be irresponsible I also feel the lack of spaciousness too and in the denseness I cant find my way.

89. I have found that living in constant appreciation of my beingness has allowed me to let go of the control in ways I never thought possible, making it a lot easier to surrender and trust that as long as I commit to constantly hold that quality in my movements everything is giving to me in the divine flow of the universe.

90. We realise life is a living thing, what you put in you get out and so getting to know yourself and your body is well worth it as your body is in everything you do, every thought and action. So if at any point you react to something and your body tenses up, what is truly going on? Or if you are constantly walking around in tension and so there is just different levels of the same thing, what is going on? Why would we tense up? Let’s look at tension, usually we tense up to brace ourselves against something that’s coming or something we are seeing or feeling which then means you can’t fully feel what it is or you don’t fully see what it is. If life is about the quality you feel and not what you do then the aim or dedication is to feeling. In this way it’s not about not reacting or having tension, that’s impossible I would think but more about catching the feeling of the reaction or tension, allowing it to settle and feeling everything you see in front of you. The only way to be able to call on this is to live it with everything and so if you are looking for an answer to something or pushing to finish something, feel the tension if it’s there and look at life bigger as at that point we don’t know how many times we have been in this situation before and not allowed the feeling or awareness to sink in. There are little moments within your day to catch or stop and check in with how you are feeling. Driving, feel your body, walking, feel your body and just keep breathing and allowing yourself to settle. The more you check in the less time you will be check out and so when the tension or a reaction knocks you may answer but soon after close the door and settle. You are what you live and so if you want things to change, live the change first and allow the world to come to you.

    1. I’m deeply appreciating your expression here Ray.

91. This is deeply insight-full into the level of stress we create by default when we think we need to control a situation because otherwise, things are not going to work out or we will get into trouble, run late, etc. etc. There are always a myriad of excuses and these emotions run our body until such time that we address their root cause.

92. “There’s no need for any picture of how that might look like, just a choice to stay with my body, breathe my breath and allow my innate, deep wisdom to guide me.” – and the minute there is a picture, this takes us away from ourselves.

93. A quote from Serge Benhayon, we are just exerting movement over movement. Mind over matter does not exist.

94. When we start to get an understanding that we are vehicles of expression and it is how our bodies are prepared for this great responsibility that we then see, it is all about our movements and living choices that decide what the end result will be and how much we either contribute to supporting or hindering evolution of the whole.

95. A truly beautiful revelation that you share: ” when I let go of control and surrender my body comes alive with the most magical flow and beauty”. Hear hear, I love this understanding of how much more love we can bring by so doing.

96. There really is nothing like our own self love flooding every cell in our bodies and firing them up to then inspire another equal divine being who just needs exactly your expression to help them shine forth even more. And so on it goes, beautifully so.

97. And the joy of living this way is so yummy, one wants to burst with pleasure.

98. We try and control things to avoid other people’s reactions. From there a whole host of behavious occurs and the only way to stop the reaction is to be understanding to the situation and read what is going on for the person. That way we will not take things personally.

99. It has been my observation that we go into control the moment we lose connection with ourselves and thus the greater whole that we are a part of. Losing connection in this way, which is not a true loss but more so a series of choices that lead to a gradual withdrawal from our true self, means that we have the sensation of ‘free-falling’ in the sense that we feel like we have lost our anchor. Naturally, in this state, we reach out and try to stop the sensation by any means we can and if we do not seek a thought, word or action that helps re-establish this connection, we will instead seek a thought, word or action that seeks to control the situation in order to make us feel secure again. However, without true connection, there can be no true security and thus why the control that we reach for does not alleviate the root of our suffering.

100. This is an absolutely excellent blog. When needing to control, a moment never resolves itself, but with no attachment, a potential is always there.

101. The truly paradoxical thing is that by making the choice to focus on the moment and stay with my body I actually have control. Not of another, a situation or an outcome, but of my choices.

102. This article reminds me of the simpleness of life, if we choose to no longer ‘try’ to control it. I for one know that all the trying in the world never found me lasting control, just more angst.

103. It is important what you have raised here about not labelling how we feel. This is a form of judgment where out certain messages from the body in the unwanted, wrong and unwelcome basket and others in the desirable, right and welcome basket. This labelling sets up a hostile relationship with our body when it is trying to communicate that something isn’t right. If we react and judge a feeling like pain, it only makes things worse. It shuts down what the body is trying to tell us to restore and expand again. Really its like slamming the door in someone’s face who brings ‘bad news’. They are still standing outside; the news still exists and won’t go away. We just try to pretend that it doesn’t exist. This pattern we have is reflected in the ever growing, preventable, life-style illnesses.

104. The fact that we have a choice to react in various ways is very obvious when you get a group of people together, such as in a workplace. When there is an unexpected change, there are a wide variety of responses. Some get angry and start to blame, some fear for their security, some roll up their sleeves and make the most of it. Knowing that we don’t have to go into our usual autopilot reactions is very liberating and also hands the responsibility of how things turn out back to us. We can’t control life but we can choose how we are in every situation.

105. Great to read this Julie, as I have just started a new job and can feel the tension in my body of wanting to go faster than I would naturally, and wanting to control things but at the same time there is a sense that it doesn’t have to be that way. Thank you for the reminder.

106. I can relate to the first sentence of your blog this morning. I am in a tizzy about wanting to control something that is out of my control. A total distraction that is causing me stress. So timely that I have read your blog this morning. I think I might just go for a walk and focus on what I can control – me.

107. A great line Julie “My body is here to support me through my life and to keep me functioning beautifully for the purpose I was made for, and that is to bring love to humanity.” I appreciate the simplicity this line brings to life, thank you Julie.

108. I can totally relate to the dramas we go into in our head when I am not able to accept and read what is happening and feeling betrayed by the situation. It’s amazing what and how we think we know should happen and launch into a battle when this is challenged.

109. I can feel how a current limiting thought on a particular situation is controlling how I feel. While I might not know how to deal with ‘it’ I can choose to come back to my body and simply appreciate being with me.

110. Being in control does not let any space for the body to speak and by doing that we actually are ignoring the divine intelligence our bodies are connected with and prefer to connect to the intelligence of the arrogant mind.

111. In a recent session with a Universal Medicine practitioner I felt what you described Julie, the control is very mind based and does create a tension in the body. Whereas in the brief moments I chose to be with my body there was feelings of nothing but absolute stillness and a deep heat from within me. However I chose to not remain in that warmth and instead stay in my mind and the controlling tension. Giving myself a hard time and being critical on myself takes me further away from self-responsibility and any opportunity to understand why I’ve chosen this. Reading this blog was a great reminder that these choices are not ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and understanding them need not be complicated but very simple. Thank you.

112. We do have an inbuilt myth that we think we feel safer when we try to control things around us or even people. But it is actually the exact opposite, when we control, we are actually saying no to being open to people and taking responsibility for our own actions.

113. It truly is amazing when we choose to tune into our bodies as the body just goes along doing its thing and keeping us functioning, even when we are quite harsh and disregarding with it, it really does have our best interests at heart. Not so for the conniving and arrogant mind, always wanting to be one step ahead of the body, like it is its superior and wants to have its way. Lucky for us, we feel the tension building or the pain, then this brings a stop moment for us to be honest and ask ourselves, what choice am I making here?

114. It is so easy to feel being the victim to a situation or the behaviour of someone; there is usually a plausible explanation or story why we react emotionally in one way or another and we more or less expect others to understand and see it the same way. Basically we justify that we react. But reaction is not mandatory, it is a choice even when it happens in just a split second, or so it seems in the situation. When we change our general way of being, develop the capacity to stay centred within ourselves (no perfection required), increase love and understanding… we will find that we react less to triggers that in the past made us simply snap. How we approach and deal with life is in our hands, we are no victims.

     1. Beautiful Alex and to be honest not easy to hear because when we are in the reaction we are in justification and pretty much lost to the mind. So as you further the development of the relationship with the body and connection to quality that brings about the choice in the moment to be free of reaction in the end.

115. ” My body is my love barometer…” – I really like this line; it brings it back to the simplicity our body presents to us, showing us the consequences of our choices that are either of love or not and by that reflection supporting us to deepen the quality of our next choices.

     1. Funny I read the blog twice and didn’t read this line until seeing your comment. What a great line it is ‘body as a love barometer’ Keeping it very simple and on point! The body knows love in every cell.

116. How gorgeous to move through life from a place of deep surrender to your innate grandness, letting the deep wisdom within be your guide… from here you can never go wrong.

117. The following lines made so much sense after the choices I made this week, leaving myself behind and chose anxiousness instead which ended up in having a headache and a sore body for some days; ‘If I choose to blame the situation or thing, I am only doing this because that deflects away from the fact that I don’t wish to feel that I haven’t taken full responsibility for my feelings and am thus using the situation as the reason for my tension.’ Thank you Julie this is exactly what I did and needed to read.

118. We make it so much harder for ourselves when we hold a picture or are rigid in our approach to doing something and the body is the first indicator of what we are holding onto at that moment. Giving ourselves a moment to stop and feel the space that is all around us, reminds us to give ourselves space within what we are doing and feel that we are totally supported by that space because it is full of love, and has everything we need.

     1. There is immense wisdom isn’t there in letting go? The body loves the release from the tension and contraction control brings, and letting go creates space for us to actually see our situations more clearly. I feel the first step for me is to accept life exactly as it is and then move from there to reading, understanding and letting go. The pictures and expectations I have seem to get in the way of understanding what’s truly playing out. On the surface it may look one way (that’s what I often don’t accept) but energetically something quite different is actually happening.

119. Love the honesty and openness in this blog. I would say that if there was no one with control or self-responsibility issues in this world we would be living in a very very different, but equally loving and super holding society.

120. Yes the need to control does feel into us not wanting to go deeper with responsibility, when we protect, hold on and not let go, we are doing all of those things so we don’t have to truly feel what is on offer and for us to evolve.

121. Absolutely Linda, and I could really feel yesterday while I was with a young child, how much changes around us when we choose to just make moving, and the quality we are moving and holding ourselves in, space to deepen. Within that, is everything, and it blasts any pictures, ideals, or ways of being, right out of the water.

122. “No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” These words by Eleanor Roosevelt are still as true today as they were yesterday for in any situation it is always our choice to withdraw, react to or make ourselves feel less or, stand true to ourselves.

123. ‘My whole theory around control is that I will feel safer if I am in control of a situation or thing’ – This is such a common misconception – that control brings security and safety, when actually what we’re doing to our bodies is putting them in a state of high anxiety, angst and hardness in order to force things to be how we need them to be… Quite the opposite of feeling safer or relaxed.

124. Having pictures of how things need to be, is in total opposition to how our bodies naturally operate. As when I’m with myself and moving in the enjoyment of that, I don’t need a picture, as my body just aligns naturally with a rhythm and connection that it knows to a tee.

     1. A beautiful reminder Julie, letting go of any pictures is key with this.

125. Anxiousness and nervous tension is a choice that not only keeps us away from the true purpose and innate wisdom from our bodies but also creates behaviours we need to rely on in order to manage life, the more we surrender and let go of images of how things need to be we can reconnect once again and meet life from our bodies and not our heads.

126. When we think we have to be in control we have to question where is the thought to control coming from.

127. As someone who has just begun study again, I am loving your wisdom and experience on the subject Julie. The ‘testing’ process is riddled with ways that carry stress, recognition and achievement. If I am not in my body I won’t be able to read these energies and know to make a different choice.

128. It’s interesting as I still live with drive and control. Drive to get things done to prove myself, because of a choice of choosing a lack of self worth and not feeling full enough of myself. Control to feel safe, I don’t like going with the flow, this is something I haver to learn again, to let go, enjoy each day as it comes, and not go into defence, protection and flight mode from the minute I wake up. I make what I see more important than me, instead of staying with my body and myself. From here I react, tense up, get anxious, and or stressed because I have already reacted and absorbed other peoples stuff into my body, and I can’t deal with in there, because it’s not meant to be there in the first place, it feels uncomfortable and makes me agitated. This is where I need to work on responsibility. Thinking I have no choice or power or control ( in a good way) over how I live life and respond to things. I actually enjoy reacting as it keeps me in drama, self, complication and stimulation. Then I can’t do what needs to be done, because I am so caught up in the reaction or my head, rather than observing life, breathing my own breath, and responding to situations, only if asked. I often through reaction, get involved when I don’t need to, in some way shape or form, it can be simply by reacting, saying something, telling someone or taking someone else’s stuff on. I don’t need to do this, again another form of irresponsibility, neediness, complication and ultimately stimulation. All a way to stop me being still. It’s no wonder we are so exhausted, and caffeine is so highly consumed and sugar too as a way to stimulate us when we are tired, exhausted, not wanting to feel things and run down if 99.9 % of the world are living this way.

129. This is a great reminder of how we always look in front of us, trying to achieve the next thing, and as soon as we don’t know what the next thing is we panic because we are no longer in control, however when we let go and choose our own breath first it doesn’t matter what comes next because we are already ready for whatever it is that comes next.

130. I love this line Julie . . . . “It is not that big a deal as I’m not letting go as in giving up; I am actually surrendering to my own grandness and wisdom and saying I am confirming myself as absolute right here and now, so I just let go and let that unfold” . . . as it holds no projection and no judgement. It is a surrender. Beautifully said.

131. I find that if I rush to get up out of bed and am not with myself but moving with what my mind has already taken me into, which is usually thoughts of what I need to get done, I can feel my body starting to go into nervous tension. Whereas when I feel into my body before I get up and feel how amazing I feel just connecting to me, I then move with presence and an enjoyment of moving in my own essence.

132. I couldn’t sleep recently and felt tired in the morning. I went to blame someone else, then stopped and said no, this is nobody else’s fault apart from yourself, how did you go to sleep? How did you wind down, there is no one else to blame.

133. We can never move through something with our own love when we are away from it, which is what happens when we want to control. Love doesn’t need to control or know an outcome, it has it covered without any trying.

134. “I will feel safer if I am in control of a situation or thing, but this is an absolutely ridiculous expectation and leaves no room for me just being me in my preciousness and love.” This line really hit home for me as someone who likes to feel or be in control. I place an emphasis or an expectation on the the task or action rather than focusing on me and then accepting what happens. It’s been a refreshing and helpful read, thank you.

135. Surrendering to the plan is so much easier than trying to control

136. When we surrender to ourselves and our divine bodies, so much more wisdom is right there to connect with and know, and we are more able to move in a way that confirms that divinity.

137. A perfectly timed blog! Funny because as I read it I could feel the tension leave my body, my right shoulder let go, my jaw, my mouth let go of its tense pout!!! Strange how tension comes in when we choose to want an outcome, to get to the end. I really appreciate what this blog is offering me, how it is all a cycle, not one to control but to learn to observe and trust my body will know how to respond.

138. Thank you Julie, blame is so insidious and is unfortunately rife amongst in society, in fact blame is often encouraged, and if you think of how the media operate blame is used to insight emotions and often cause a hate stir.

139. We place more importance on getting something done than we do on our own bodies and what they need in any moment. We need to remember more often, that we are human beings and just be, more often.

140. Whilst writing yesterday I chose to completely disconnect from my body in order to get what I was doing ‘right’. What a futile exercise as it left me feeling exhausted all day as I very quickly built tension in my body where there was none. After this period I realised that I had been making this choice to disconnect and that in every moment it is up to me to decide whether I am going to remain with me (connected to my body) or not

141. Julie – thank you for the inspiration to stay with our bodies and our breath through our every moment and activity. Just feeling what you share is very light and settling within the body. As you offer then the struggle to think becomes more obvious for what it is and how unnecessary, when so much more is available when we connect to our bodies.

142. Thank you Julie for writing on this topic. Attempts at control is something I know only too well and to try and maintain it is exhausting. When there is no investment in an outcome being a particular way, including how I am to be there is no need to control but a willingness to accept that there is more being played out to any situation, certainly more than my eyes can see.

143. We try to control the outcome of situations all the time. When that happens we move the tail like a dog. Yet, what I find remarkable is when truth kicks in. When it does and brings to a totally different outcome compared to the one in mind, the body feels totally surrendered. It is a totally different feeling compared to the controlling one.

144. Julie you describe very well the changes which occur in the body when we choose to control a situation; living in this state for so many years can only contribute to the body being run down and out of balance – is it any wonder we get illness and dis-ease.

145. We can never control what is outside of ourselves, and trying to do so is a lot of work that takes us further away from ourselves. When something outside of us feels uncomfortable, our job is to stay steady and to connect more deeply to our own inner stillness. Not to leave ourselves and try to fix the situation – as soon as we do that, we’re actually feeding it more.

146. Its fascinating how easy it is to live life constantly worrying about the next thing, and the next thing, and not just enjoying being with what is right in front of us, as that is where the magic is…. inside us… all of the time

     1. Your so right Simon, and only just this morning when I got up and I noticed straight away how if I don’t take responsibility for my thoughts, they take me straight into sorting through my day and picking out the best part of the day to get excited about and feel my day is going to be good because of ……. Catching this thought was awesome because I was then able to bring it back to my body and focus on my movements. This confirmed for me how divine my body feels when I stay with it in everything I do, and that’s all the entertainment I ever need.

147. Thank you Julie for sharing this. When we start to blame a situation or other people for why we feel the way we feel, in this case negatively, stressed and anxious we loose sight of how our bodies naturally would live in that situation and we also obscure and hide our investments in wanting a situation to be a certain way for us to feel ok. It feels strong this hold on our investments and yet from experience the moment I call out an expectation on myself or others or life it’s as if such a strong hold just vanishes, this is showing me that getting defensive and blaming is not really worth it because the amount of harm it causes can be addressed so quickly when I am willing to let go of that control and wanting the world and myself to be a certain way. It is far healthier to take responsibility than it is to blame.

148. I can feel my body is built up in the protection and hurts and that actually creates issues to happen and that I need to let go and surrender these hurts so that I can move more freely in life.

149. ‘I’m not letting go as in giving up; I am actually surrendering to my own grandness and wisdom and saying I am confirming myself as absolute right here and now, so I just let go and let that unfold.’ Awesome.

150. When the answer does come from the body there is no anxiety of any kind and the body does not suffer. There is no difference between the inside and the outside.

     1. I love this Eduardo, this is so very true.

151. Nothing can ever truly be seen when we are in the grip of control, only in the surrender with ourselves and our innate inner wisdom and love, can we feel and know what is truth and what truly needs our attention and loving focus.

152. Thank you Julie for your responsiveness of reflection on such a hugely important subject: self-responsibility. I am pondering on how much I myself take real responsibility of the situations I am in and what my part in it is. I can feel a huge resistance I had, and so had I chosen to delay and go into judgement instead, so I again won’t take responsibility. It is a very true question then to ask: why are we resisting taking responsibility, are we affraid of our own power? And so the palpable missing of that for eons?

153. The only way to be in a true form of control is to be in awareness of the choices we are truly making – whether that is to be the love we truly are or not. Otherwise, is it use controlling the situation or the situation controlling us?

154. ‘the purpose I was made for, and that is to bring love to humanity.’ Wow! I love this – that’s a life worth living.

155. Now we can’t have that Doug, we need your gorgeous light.

156. Yes Gyl, can you imagine how much love could be built up if we did bring our presence in between A and B. It’s like when we decide what we are doing at A, we have already left ourselves because we think in our minds, that the job is already done, we just have to arrive at B somehow. If only we were responsible enough for the whole journey, and chose to stay with ourselves to enjoy it in full.

157. It’s funny how we focus on A and B, but not the movements in between as in how we walk, drive, pee, eat etc – that all have an affect how we will feel and be when we get to B. Could it be because we actually know this would be evolution?

158. “My body is here to support me through my life” – this is absolute truth.

159. I have come to realise I tend to live quite a lot of the time trying to control things, in the sense of planning ahead, instead of being open to whatever comes my way, without trying. It’s almost like a form of protection, that doesn’t work, just makes life and my body hard, and un-joyful. It takes away the simplicity, pure joy playfulness and magic of being with God, simply being me, the wonderment and magic, like being a little child again, of expressing and living from my body.

160. It is fascinating how much we can be doing 1 thing yet thinking about another – no wonder we are exhausted as we are trying to be in 2 places at once. I find it most obvious doing simple things like going for a walk, brushing my teeth, having a shower etc.. Am I with myself with what I am doing or am I thinking of something that has happened or may happen?

161. The integrity of our innate knowingness from within is our true anchor and guide in daily life. And the more we allow ourselves to express from this wisdom and grace ,the more lovingly our everyday life flows.

162. ‘I am so much more than my mind” I love this, everything our education system should teach from day one, and one day it will.

163. “With this revelation, there is a knowing that it is absolutely my choice to choose to go into tension or not.” – I love it – everything is a choice. The question is who do we allow to choose? Us – or another energy running the show, for they are just there waiting for you to say yes, and bingo they can control you – until you stop and say yes to love.

164. “naturally loving rhythm” this made my whole body smile, I love God for that’s what I feel and am intrinsically a part of when I connect to this natural loving rhythm, the Universe, there’s naturally so much connection, space and expansion inside and all around me to something far grander, far deeper and far more huge that I can conceive or realise at this time, but I can feel it in every single cell of my body, it’s always calling me to evolve.

     1. Having your whole body smile, is a true gift for us all indeed. Never stop smiling Gyl, we appreciate it immensely.

165. ‘Lately I am noticing that when there is something that needs to be resolved and I don’t feel in control of the outcome, I start to harden in my body and become stressed.’ I can totally relate to this. I harden to not feel, why this is I haven’t quite worked out in full that is – my feeling is to not take responsibility – and I don’t mean that in a bad way, for if I am deeply still and open in the moment allowing myself to feel everything, with no need for people to be a certain way, then I can very clearly feel the energy and not the person – in the sense the energy of what is coming through them and what energy is at play – then there is no room for complication or delay.

166. I so needed to read this today, thank you.

167. “No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Wise words from Eleanor Roosevelt that are living on way after she is gone and goes to show we are by nature both perpetual and timeless.

168. ‘My whole theory around control is that I will feel safer if I am in control of a situation or thing, but this is an absolutely ridiculous expectation and leaves no room for me just being me in my preciousness and love.’ This is very true Julie and I know when I look at feeling safe and ore secure there is so much left out the equation, it is arranging things for myself but never for the all.

169. Control is resisting the flow of the universe, which is why it feels so terrible and we have to harden our bodies to such an extent. It comes from fear and can be rendered powerless through trust. Trust in ourselves and trust in the truth that everything will be as it is divinely meant to be for our own evolution and that of everyone else, equally so.

170. Intentions are behind everything! Choosing the quality we are in makes sense, to what intention will come thereafter. I can relate to labeling everything as better or more important, or good and bad, especially when I had a picture of how I thought it should look.

171. If we think we are in control, or have control in any way, we are in an illusion that keeps us trapped rather than sets us free.

172. I have found that control was my greatest form of protection, and the more I connected to myself and my own essence the less I needed to protect myself, and the easier it was to let go of my need to control.

173. When we use control we miss out on everything that is being offered to us in that moment, and as a consequence we miss out on our own evolution.

174. The illusion is that there is ever control. We can try to create it, think we have it, stick by it, but it was never there.

175. Blame is the perfect set-up as we can stew in our reactions, feel we are the victim, and remain unable to enjoy life or be ourselves. Responsibility is the only antidote, a responsibility to stay connected with ourselves and remain in the true power of that inner connection, and not give our power away to life’s situations or to other people.

176. I know I am in control if I am invested in an outcome or in reaction to a situation and you are right Julie the tension that I feel in my body at that time is actually immense. All this is communicating is that I am not wanting to see the reflection that a particular situation is offering me, which means me looking at the part I play – for that is the responsibility and there is always a part that I have played. Our bodies play a clear role in communicating this to us. Choosing to honestly listen is the key.

177. Control rather than truth has been a big part of how i have lived for many years and it feels very freeing and as you say Julie, more responsible to not now be living in this way. My control kept me capped and I found that there was no personal growth or appreciation in this. When I feel control creeping in I can feel the imposition on my body and it feels pretty yuk.

178. I do appreciate how fooled i have been by seeking to control situations and people- its impossible to truly control anyone or anything. By letting go, and surrendering, we actually allow things to unfold and can chose how we respond rather than being buffeted by it.

179. Julie, what amazing insights and how simple it can be if I come back to my body, and feel and live life from there rather than the pressure I can put myself under to achieve something, but really the task is just there to be addressed simply and with the full support of my body, nothing more; the mind wants to bring in all sorts of complications and ideas about how it should look, the body is much simpler asking how it feels and what is the quality I bring to this task. Very simple and I needed reminding.

180. So beautiful what you have expressed in your blog Julie. Self responsibility and responding from what feels true in our bodies enables great joy and simplicity in our lives. Thank you for the lovely gentle reminder.

181. When we stay with what is truly right there in front of us, there is no complication, just the simplicity of allowing our bodies to move and respond to what is needed. Only when we choose to change what is right there, do things go pear shaped.

182. This is an amazing article. It’s asking me what am I going into to avoid self-responsibility.
     ‘And then came an ‘aha’ moment when I realised this situation is not asking me to change myself at all, nor is it asking me to go into anxiety: that is my choice’
     I try to blame having a lot to do to go into doing rather than being (I also do this when I there’s not much to do either!). I use an outside situation to justify not taking the space to be first and come from this wisdom which knows exactly how to be, to move in a way that I stay connected.

183. “Really my job is to keep my body in a constant balance and my body naturally knows how to do this if I have built a consistent steadiness within me. Then when something comes along, I can just come from that natural steadiness inside of me and then my own stillness can hold me so beautifully right through the whole process of finding an answer in any situation whatsoever.” Life is so simple when we stop complicating it!

184. Really enjoyed reading your blog again Julie, particularly this quote by Eleanor Roosevelt “No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Absolutely!

185. I can really relate to this at the moment, especially the fact that it is my choice to go into tension and hardness to not feel equally as it is a choice to breathe gently and accept what I am feeling. No one can release the tension for me no matter how much in those tense moments I want such a situation to occur – which in the past has only provided relief and never a true healing as the tension returns, I learn nothing about responsibility if wanting others to do the work for me thus the issue is re-created.

186. There are so many gems in this blog Julie, it’s been a very healing experience to share in your journey. One of the gems for me was around work or other tasks being about recognition and achievement “…there is no focus on my quality of be-ing whatsoever and I have taken myself away from feeling my body, and so I lose all sense of what my body may need or is communicating to me.” How true this is in education, work and life today, and to me is a major contributor to why lifestyle related diseases are so high – we are completely out of touch with our own body and what it needs and communicates. Our physical body is often last on our list of priorities (if at all), instead of it being the centre of our life supporting us in all we are here to offer in life. It’s more often the vehicle we beat into submission to achieve our goals.

187. Julie – thank you for exposing control for the security it is – and how this actually hardens the body. When really control feels like an illusion that keeps us from sensing and feeling what is needed.

188. I can relate with this, ‘if I am more honest, I can feel within me the tension that I am wanting to finish this question because in my mind, when I answer this question, I can go onto the next question and there is a sense of achievement and recognition from that.’ But by doing that I can make getting things completed more important than my quality or feeling my body, my responsibility is my quality and my connection at all times.

189. Having to control situations in life is a vicious cycle that is ruled by images that we in turn place on ourselves. These images constrict us and place enormous amounts of stress and sickness on our health which inevitably takes us away from the natural ease in which we are solely created. Our presence in every moment is what will change our reactions to responsibility as we feel what is true and express from there.

190. The discernment to know in situations where you can see something needs to be resolved, of when to “let it be” and when to step in is true wisdom. We do not need to control situations, but equally we do not need to sit on the fence and not bring clarity where it is needed.

191. Being in control is such a con, however we waste vast amounts of energy on the illusion of having it and it’s thoroughly exhausting. Trust me, I did it for years. It’s like running to stand still. Accepting that I did not have to try and keep everything looking a certain way was a great revelation and liberation. Working on the only thing I can control – me and my reactions – is what has brought me the greatest rewards, and a steadiness that I can depend on even when there is chaos happening around me.

192. In my experience when I use control I can get so far then I lose it and then I can be judgemental and be critical of myself. Far more loving to listen to ourselves and honour ourselves in that moment, than to set unrealistic expectations.

193. “As Eleanor Roosevelt has been quoted as saying,” “No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” This is so true no one can make us feel anything when we take full responsibility for our feeling and there origin we understand is.

194. Its so true that trying to control robs us of our precious presence- its way too simplistic to think we really can control anything either. I often used to wish i could control life, and then went into give up mode when i got exhausted from such efforts. letting go is the simplest thing to do- I am learning this slowly.

195. So true, and well said Julie ‘ Really my job is to keep my body in a constant balance and my body naturally knows how to do this if I have built a consistent steadiness within me. Then when something comes along, I can just come from that natural steadiness inside of me and then my own stillness can hold me so beautifully right through the whole process of finding an answer in any situation whatsoever.’

196. Wonderful confirmation that i do not have any control of a situation other then being me as much as i can and the the more i am with myself, the less the situation will affect me.

197. ‘I want to finish this so I can go onto the next one’. This is such a familiar feeling but when I read it back how ridiculous is that? I never get to enjoy what I am doing, and I’m not fully present with it either, always looking ahead but not where I am actually walking now.

198. When we take everything away that we have created and move from the impulse of deep love that we are left with and all essentially are, everything we do is part of the space we call our lives, then everything matters and nothing is valueless.

199. Building my own steadiness so that when something comes along to be done, I can do it from this lovely foundation makes perfect sense. Gone is the recognition, gone is the worry and stress, gone is the complication. It’s like we carry this comparison about the right or wrong way to do something and we consider ourselves ill equiped. Having this steadiness takes all that away.

200. Julie, so simple, such common sense, we choose how we are in any given situation, be it to go into stress or overwhelm or excitement. And it’s our responsibility as you say for us to build and allow a steadiness in our bodies which supports us to be with our bodies as we address each task. It can be that simple.

201. So many gems and amazing insights here in this blog, I really like the idea that control really doesn’t offer the safety we think it does. We can rarely control anything in life, everything that happens has something to teach us, there is always love in everything no matter what we think it needs to be.

202. Julie great topic to open up this subject. I think we learn very quickly that there is control at play with life. We isolate aggressively between controlling or being controlled. This leaves no space for the grace of us in just enjoying the moment.

203. A great reflection on what’s going on in our bodies and minds when we are compelled to play control freak and just how much more loving on the body it is when we merely stay with the purpose of a task and allow our innate wisdom to do its thing whilst feeling the steadiness it brings in our bodies.

204. Julie, wow, this is an amazing blog, that speaks to me deeply this morning. You highlight something I am becoming increasingly aware, that I can blame the task or situation for taking me out, but in fact the truth is no matter what is presented to me, it is my choice in how I am with it, and no task / situation has the power to change me unless I allow it. So I make the choice first to change and there is the gold mine, as in seeing that choice I then have another one, to continue as I am or to peel back the layers and understand how and why I may have made that choice, and control is indeed often a large part of that – I can get locked into things being a particular way and when I go rigid in that, of course it affects how I am with the task. What I feel hugely here is if I feel me, stay connected to my body and take responsibility for myself then I can be with the task without impacting my body – this is a paradigm and life changing shift, and there is a huge freedom in this, as we look and see and understand that many of the things we do that we blame on outside things are in facts ways and behaviours we choose to adopt and being honest with this allows us to see what we really do and what it is that does not truly support us to be who we truly are.

205. The hardness that we experience when we try and control everything is to stop us from feeling what is actually going on, surrendering to an experience of something universal, protecting us from the bigger picture.

206. Learning to deeply surrender and let go of control is a continual deepening, but so worth while, ‘My whole theory around control is that I will feel safer if I am in control of a situation or thing, but this is an absolutely ridiculous expectation and leaves no room for me just being me in my preciousness and love.’

207. Julie thank you for the reflection. Lately I have been noticing how I can see and feel the bigger picture of what I need to do next but then lose it on wanting to control the detail. Bringing awareness to this has allowed me to notice when I am surrendering and when I am holding on with an expectation and wanting to control the outcome. This has been a great lesson in surrendering for me.

208. Absolutely Julie, It is my choice to choose to go into tension or not, it is always my choice, I just blame different things as being the cause of it. ‘And then came an ‘aha’ moment when I realised this situation is not asking me to change myself at all, nor is it asking me to go into anxiety: that is my choice. All the task is asking of me is to find the answer, nothing more, nothing less, so why allow my mind and its antics to dictate how I am going to feel in this situation?’

209. So true Julie – great to reveal ‘ My whole theory around control is that I will feel safer if I am in control of a situation or thing, but this is an absolutely ridiculous expectation and leaves no room for me just being me in my preciousness and love.’

210. When I want to control people or situations it is because I want to remain in my comfort. I am in fact resisting to go deeper and grow. Surrendering within is key so whenever I feel to want things done my way I clock it and surrender. Surrendering sometimes feels like I am giving up but if I don’t make this choice I simply end up exhausted!

211. Such a beautiful blog which shows the amazing power of the stillness that is innately within us all.

212. “No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” I love these words as a reminder that we are constantly choosing everything in this life. We have a choice to feel inferior or not.

213. Julie this is such a revealing blog and I am glad I have read it. Following sentences is a deep confirmation for me: “Now that I am choosing to step up in my self-responsibility and claiming more and more my part in situations, I can feel the huge difference in my body and how spacious it feels to claim myself back from the thoughts that will take me down the blaming path and away from my own wise, inner counsel.”

214. So much gold here in this blog – the sentence that stays with me today is “…..I can feel within me the tension that I am wanting to finish this question because in my mind, when I answer this question, I can go onto the next question and there is a sense of achievement and recognition from that.” How easy it is to get hooked on the illusion of ‘getting’ somewhere or something that is in actual fact completely selfish and loveless. So much of what we do is done in this energy. Your blog is fantastically inspiring as it shows how we can all bring love to humanity if we simply get ourselves out of the way and take responsibility and there is so much joy in living our true purpose.

215. ‘My body is my love barometer and my greatest guide.’ I love the word ‘love barometer’, our bodies are incredible in the way they show us exactly what we are feeling and what is going on inside us, and of course always showing us exactly how loving we are being. Gosh – they are amazing!

216. It’s a beautiful distinction made here about choosing to stay with the quality we hold in our body, or losing ourselves in a task and outcome and the stress and hardness that came come with that. It’s also a snapshot of how life (beginning with education) is geared towards answers and achievements and not focused on the person..

217. Yes that is very beautiful, it is a living way that brings this settlement.

218. Thank you for writing this blog Julie, I very much relate to what you share, it is incredible to feel how we actually abuse our body to get something done we feel we are getting something out of. While knowing that we are already everything and the task at hand is just something that is needed to be done we can let go of the outcome and see that it doesn’t change us a thing, taking the responsibility to have a body that is present, and capable of doing what is needed all the time.

219. Thank you Julie your blog is a perfect start to my day as I have an exam this morning and I can feel the familiar pattern of anxiousness and tension that has played out in the past when I feel the pressure of an exam. The quote by Eleanor Roosevelt “No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent ” what a beautiful reminder and so very true, it simply comes down to our choices in every moment.

220. I have recently experienced controlling behaviours in another that has shown me how limiting and delaying this behaviour can be. From this, ironically, my acceptance of others and myself has grown and I am finding myself surrendering more too. I agree that the need for control seems to come from an underlying feeling of insecurity.

221. Having children in my life has taught me a lot about how debilitating and suffocating control can be when it is imposed on to another person. And, how this need for control can come from my own insecurities and not actually from wanting what is true for them or myself. Letting go of this need means letting go of the control and watching us all become more confident and strong in expressing ourselves.

222. “I am so much more than my mind will allow me to know” is so true Julie. Our minds work from a small place. They work with our experience in this life and the limited amount we know. Our soul on the other hand, is vast, eternal and expanding. How beautiful to allow this soul connection, this trust to live from. It is so inspiring to read how our job is to build this solid foundation with our bodies so that we are prepared and constant when we face living our lives.

223. There was a T-shirt that exclaimed ‘it happens’ there seems to be a mathematical expression that the harder we hang on to anything to ensure ‘it’ doesn’t happen the greater probability that it will occur. How many people live in the two worlds? If your not in control everything becomes out of control. Or, we can step off the merry-go-round and as you have expressed Julie we just need to surrender to ourselves and let go.

224. I love re-reading this blog, Julie. Just that control and blame go hand in hand is a great realisation for me, and how they both come out of a sense of insecurity.

225. “My whole theory around control is that I will feel safer if I am in control of a situation or thing, but this is an absolutely ridiculous expectation and leaves no room for me just being me in my preciousness and love” – I totally agree with you, Julie. And what I am also learning is that wanting to be in control blinds me from what is actually there to be done.

     1. Wanting to be in control blinds me from what is actually there to be done. Spot on Fumiyo, because you’re in the grip of the energy that you have moved in and so have no choice but to move under that energies control, its a fixed destination. Whereas stay with the body and be present and you cannot help but move in a way that is in line with the natural rhythm and flow of things. Easier on the body and feeds us all back with love.

226. Yes Jane, and a very beautiful settlement it is that I can feel through your words here. I’m enjoying every moment of it. Thank-you deeply for sharing.

227. Wow Julie, so simply written yet so full in understanding, thank you for an amazing blog

228. There can be no blame when there is responsibility.

229. I love this statement “..if I take all of me to everything that I do (no perfection of course), then everyone gets a woman who is the real me as absolute love in motion.”
     That about sums it up for me. If we make choices to be less than who we are, not only do we miss out on us but so does the world. Ain’t worth the misery as being me just feels awesome.

230. To let go of any picture/image how we/I/you should/could be is a strong movement towards true freedom.

     1. True. Our bodies are connected to truth. The moment we want to live against this truth, we have to call in a different energy (what we are not) – and this causes all the harm.

231. The title of this blog struck me yesterday when I was listening to a colleague at work. How often do we project control over situations rather than offering the person an opportunity to understand responsibility?

232. Since reading this blog and getting a deeper understanding of my need to control my environment, I have chosen to let go of cutting my sons nails and also of getting him to clean his room. Both things I did in order to alleviate my discomfort from those things not being done. I have a taste of freedom!

233. My experience of moments (and I’m certainly not perfect yet) of letting go of control and simply allowing everything around me to be the way it wants to be have been magnificent. After all, trying to control situations and others is such a waste of time and energy, especially when I find its not really even possible to control an outcome, outcomes that are not related to my personal choices and well-being are decided by many factors, and rarely by me! It’s far better for everyone to allow people to make their own choices, and allow universal law to do the rest.

234. Just acknowledging that we are control ‘freaks’, that we have control issues is a great start, and yet we do have a habit of grimly hanging on to this mindset because we fear that if we don’t, the wheels will fall off our lives and we will crash. It is essential that we establish an inner connection and with this , nurture the delicate flower of trust that is within us all, and that , when fully bloomed, will allow us to truly let go of such old and destructive paradigms.

     1. Absolutely Chris, we have first embrace or at least be honest about how much of a “control freak” we have been!

        1. Well said Chris and Greg and I totally agree with all you share, recently I became aware of an area in my life I was still in a lot of control about. It was an ‘ouch’ moment for me as I had been unwilling to see this for sometime. It has been a blessing and an awesome opportunity for me to address this control and see where it plays out in other areas of my life and to let go of this pattern and allow myself to surrender and feel the spaciousness that comes with this loving choice.

235. Simplicity is beautiful. Our bodies know simplicity and communicates to us as such. If any tension is felt, it is a simple and powerful reminder that something is not harmonious. Stopping and choosing to move in a way back to the simplicity of hamony is what these reminders offer. It is very simple and deeply beautiful.

236. In trying to control situations, I notice that I harden up too. I actually feel inferior doing so, but when I surrender to responsibility, expressing love, letting people in, I am able to feel the natural amazingness of me and others.

237. Having the willingness to let go of control and surrender creates space in our bodies to be more of the love that we are.

238. The masters know the divine plan all we need to do is to surrender deeply and allow them to guide us and we will be taken care of.

     1. So beautifully said Mary-Louise, why do we choose to control when there is so much joy and love when we surrender to this absolute truth.

239. I have been observing when I want to go into complaining about something recently, and sitting with where this reaction comes form within myself and really asking what role have I played in the situation getting to this point.

     1. Love it Nicole – there is much to learn when we are truly willing to observe ourselves and the situations we are in.

        1. I have noticed the difference between people owning up or confessing to their part in a drama or complication and people who are really willing to take responsibility for their role and learn from it.

240. There is so much I love about this blog but one huge point is this way of working that you describe of trying to finish one things in order to get onto the next thing instead of being fully present with whatever we are attending to in each moment. I spent many years always in a rush to get something finished so I could get onto the next endlessly. It is a horrible and exhausting way to live that lacks true quality. Serge Benhayon has also shared many times how this applies when walking from one place to another. For example, when I walk from my office to the kitchen am I just checking out as I get from one place to another, or do I stay present with me as I walk. More and more I am bringing a quality to my walk and movement such that it is pure delight to walk from one room to another and those moments and movements in themselves are full and not empty moments between where I am and where I am going. It is the same with bringing all of me to anything I am doing – it makes a huge difference on many levels.

     1. I agree Nicola, bringing more presence into our bodies affects the quality of our movements as we feel the flow and ease that naturally is there when we surrender and live in a way that is sync with the universe.

        1. Yes, I agree Francisco because if I am not present ie not with myself when I move then where am I and who or what is walking my body?!??!!

     2. I so need to master being fully present with what ever I am doing in each moment. It is the quality I bring to what I do that matters not what I need to do next. Thanks for the reminder Nicola.

241. There are so many ways we try and control life – from what we eat to how we relate to others, and all of it designed to make us think we have more control than what we think. Yet perversley, by trying to control life we are actually limiting our ability to understand what is truly going on.

     1. I have been observing my attitudes around food for the last year and one of the things I noticed is, if I can control the amount of food I eat then I feel good about myself, it is a false sense self worth, no different to when I was anorexic but a lot more subtle. I have been renouncing this and find that my obsession with food is getting lesser and lesser until recently where this is no longer a part of my thought pattern.

        1. What after all is the difference between an obese person who is obsessed with eating pizza, and a health food fanatic who is obsessed with eating green veggies and looking thin. Both are in truth owned by an ideal that is not true, and both have created a relationship with diet that is not true. There comes a point when one has to look at diet first, but Marylouise, you would know that there is absolutely no point talking to an anorexic person about diet, or trying to convince them to eat properly, just as there is no point trying to tell the obese person that pizza is making them fat. They already know that. We use diet not so much to sustain us, but to control our level of awareness as to what is going on both within and around us, and to confirm how we want to view the world. For years I ate way too much – not because I was hungry, but because I thought I needed to be more, and when I say way too much, I mean three huge servings of spaghetti bowl plus dessert. You could never fill me up, and whilst I was “lucky” I never put on weight, that in itself was part of my issue, because as a man I always felt I had to be bigger. Interesting then that a feeling of lack of self worth can cause one person to starve themselves, and another to eat everything not bolted down to the table.

242. As Eleanor Roosevelt has been quoted as saying, “No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” What a great quote and so pertinent to me today. Recently someone shared with me some lies another person had said about me and I had a wonderful session with Michael Benhayon yesterday where I explored how to handle situations like these. It was tempting to go into a story and defence but that felt very wrong to me. With Michael I became aware that all I need to do was stand in the absolute knowing of my truth and that is enough. There will always be external factors pushing and pulling us this way and that – but if I stand solid in my truth it does not touch me.

     1. So true Nicola and to quote something Elizabeth wrote on this thread
        “Our only responsibility is to live our truth, no matter what.”

        1. YES, that is exactly it said much more simply!

     2. Great to have this understanding Nicola, ‘With Michael I became aware that all I need to do was stand in the absolute knowing of my truth and that is enough.’ As you say there will always be external factors that push and pull, our responsibility is to stand solid in our truth and live that.

243. Just reading the first part of your blog I was touched by the depth of observation and awareness you have as to all the details that go on in certain circumstances and how your body responds. I too have observed such things in myself. Interestingly it appears that it is only when we are more clear and reacting less that we start to notice these kind of details. In the old days when I used to be emotional, drink alcohol and eat food that did not support my body, I would not have been aware of micro details as I was much more numb. In fact the more aware I am the more micro details are not at all micro but become macro!

     1. I agree Nicola with more awareness comes greater attention to detail.

     2. Love reading your comments Nicola, this one reminds me of the extreme harm reaction has not only on our bodies but also on our particles and then on how we behave. I have noticed that my particles become very dense and my clarity and awareness is gone….feels awe full… and before I know it I am in creation.

244. ‘I also appreciate the stillness that holds me so beautifully right through the whole process of returning to the truth that I am, as it is my eternal true anchor and guide.’ Stillness is within us all, if we connect to it finding it extremely supportive and a strength.

245. “I can just come from that natural steadiness inside of me and then my own stillness can hold me so beautifully right through the whole process of finding an answer in any situation whatsoever.” This is beautifully shared as it shows the richness within and maybe were are actually afraid of this, to come back to that we have it all within?

246. Julie what a great blog about control, I’m confident many of us can relate to the need to control…but you have brought another quality to it and that responsibility “I haven’t taken full responsibility for my feelings and am thus using the situation as the reason for my tension.”

     We often externalize our inner feelings and blame outside of us, wanting to change the situation so that we can change the way we feel. It does not really work. When we take responsibility for what we feel, which can be extremely challenging, it is very empowering as we become less controlled by the outside, less need for control within.

247. Julie thank you for putting the spotlight on the difference between what the mind likes to classify as giving up and the reality of surrender.
     Recently I read that King Canute went to the seashore precisely to show that he wasn’t in control of everything.
     I love to walk along at the water’s edge watching the waves and realise how futile it is to attempt to predict how far the water will come up the beach, such a metaphor for life

248. ‘My need for control’ – What if this need wasn’t even ours, or something that is not a true need to who we truly are? Because I am finding the more I say ‘I am being controlling’ or ‘I am creating distractions and drama’s and indulging in emotions’ then thats me claiming to be something I am not. Because when I go into my body, none of those needs or wants are there, they are not a part of me. I made the choice to not be me, then I create needs and wants.

249. I agree Nicole, it feels like a protection that we put in place to not have to feel what is really going on. When the control is dropped we are open and vulnerable and are more able to feel the depth of the way we really are.

250. It is really lovely to be with ourselves in all that we do. I know when I over ride being with a doing energy, the way my body feels is different. It becomes harder and more tense. I am now seeing that this state of tenseness is a way that takes a lot of energy to hold and is a harming way to be with my body.

251. I am just writing one of those academic treatises and progress is slow. This type of treatise is quite unfamiliar to me and I am constantly tempted to push if it wouldn’t feel so bad in my body, so progress is slow and I will just continue. It sounds boring but the key is to continue, regardless. With lots of breaks if needed but to continue. Doing something difficult in a rush is very hard on the body.

     1. I agree with you, Christoph. I have just completed a major project and this time I did it very differently from how I would normally do it. I took care of myself and made it such that I did not try and control everything but honored myself and my body. And as you say consistency is what is required and not control.

        1. It is the same for me and I am amazed how much I get done.

252. Our only responsibility is to live our truth, no matter what.

     1. Oh, and to know what truth is.

253. Well said … “If I don’t need to control, but breathe my own breath and stay with what is being asked of me (and don’t label it as right or wrong, good or bad, or make it into something difficult or complicated), my body can be left to just support me, naturally so, in an order that it knows right down to the tiniest cell, without complications or tension.”

     Stay with what is being asked of me – what a gorgeous expression.

254. I agree with what you are saying, Mary as it is a likely reason why more and more children are feeling stressed and pressurised by the time they are in their teens.

255. We love to blame a situation or another person, this way we can avoid taking responsibility for our choices. We need to always look at ourselves first and take full responsibility for our part, no matter what is happening with another person or situation.

     1. Hello MaryLouise and I understand what you are saying. How are we using responsibility though? Responsibility is more about the quality we are in, the quality we are living. So yes we need to “take full responsibility for our part” but that is more to change the quality we are in, the energy more than a talking part. So often we may not ‘blame’ but the way we go about taking responsibility takes us back to the same part. Responsibility is all about movement and the quality of that, not just saying a line to yourself or someone else on what you have done.

     2. I agree Mary-Louise it is vital we take responsibility for our part, this may mean looking at where we let our energy drop, or lose our connection, and if we let anything in as a result. We can then move in a way that helps us to return to our self and our quality.

256. I have lived a very controlled life for many years, I realise now it was like living in a box with walls all around supposedly keeping me safe, but what did it keep me safe from, from coming to know the true and loving me and and actually living life. No safety in this illusion, only separation. Thank you to Serge Benhayon and his teachings that have broken down these walls so that I can start to live from my true loving self as a son of God.

257. How many situations and tasks do we add a layer of unnecessary stress and pressure to, by adding in the element of control? Thanks for your blog Julie reminding me that it doesn’t have to be this way.. that there is another way to do things like study. That different, more natural way, is simply by letting go of the need to do the task in a certain way, and by being aware of how we are when we’re doing that task. What I’m also feeling is that ‘taking responsibility’ for how we are isn’t another way that I need to control my life, but just a surrender to what is already there. And it can be as simple as just noticing the gentleness of my breath and movements.

     1. Yes, control is a great way to hold us back. When we are about to be effective, all we have to do is exercise a little control and our effectiveness is, sometimes massively, reduced – exactly why we often exercise control as it means we don’t have to be all that we are.

258. I felt space open in my body Julie as I read your blog. This week at work has been particularly full on and I could feel how much I wanted to control situations or at times simply wish they weren’t there. Reading you blog exposed just how much I can forget to listen to my body and its wisdom, I lose my rhythm and choose control rather than connection. Great to see this, thank you.

259. “…this situation is not asking me to change myself at all, nor is it asking me to go into anxiety: that is my choice…” What a great realisation… and one that will always bring you back to you.

260. Julie since reading your article and really taking on board what you are presenting I now no longer have the imposing thoughts and feelings about what it is that I have to do during the day, the following day and the week ahead. I am taking responsibility for how I feel in the moment and the moment seems to be taking care of everything else.

     1. That is inspiring Alexis – and something that I will take note of in a very practical way. It feels as though I need just the simplicity of feeling my feelings and expression and my need for control will dissipate, just as they are in this moment. Magic is so simple when we get ourselves out of the way and allow the flow to take it’s natural course.

261. Control is also based on not trusting that the Hierarchy are with us every step of the way and if we were to surrender to this we would be so, so looked after.

     1. I agree Mary-Louise there is no trust if we want to control everything – trusting has let go of the need to control and is an open space, the Hierarchy can be with us then.

     2. Often I would ponder why we would have the thought that anything would not work out or that we would have to exert control on when we know by aligning to the divine, everything is but being looked after? Is this thought even ours? And if not, why do we allow it to then control us? Needing to control we succumb to being controlled. In surrender, we simply get on with life and live.

     3. Beautiful Mary-Louise, this is so true.

        1. Yes we do not want to surrender to the hierarchy and let them guide us because then we can not own what ever we do as it has been impulsed to us from the Hierarchy. We are too invested in self and being identified by what we do.

262. “I can say in all absoluteness I am so much more than my mind will allow me to know and my responsibility is to own this truth and live it as completely as I can in any given moment.” – This is fantastic to really claim that this is our truth and why we are actually here on earth, this responsibility can not be avoided, as much as we try but ultimately this is our true calling. To be All of Who we ARE in every single nano second of life. It is time to live this truth for all. Thank you for a great reminder.

263. It was so lovely and confirming to read again your beautiful blog Juiie – when we return to honouring what our body is constantly communicating to us we find that all the wisdom we require to live life is to be found within. It’s no rocket science – just beautiful common sense as when we try to control life we are forcing our body to submit to contraction in order to resist the natural flow that is always available when we surrender.

     1. Yes, the wisdom of our body – if we ignore the gut feeling, that doesn’t work – is quite amazing to experience. It is fun, too.

264. Just by reading the title we can get a sense of where we get it wrong. Obviously the need to control others comes from our lack of taking responsibility for our own actions. If we are not living in a way that is supportive and loving we then need others to be a certain way.

     1. Hello Rebecca, I agree and the care needs to come with the way we use ‘responsibility’. It’s not only about being honest about the things that happen but it’s more about movement, how we move, the quality of our movement. To take the responsibility deeper would be to say the quality of our movement in each moment, and more the quality of each and every movement, that means every blink, breath and swallow. This is responsibility, our movement in respect to everything.

        1. Yes Ray, there certainly is a deeper level of responsibility required, and as you say – the quality of our movement in every moment is the ultimate responsibility.

        2. Thank you Rebecca and could things be that simple? Be present and deepen the quality of every movement no matter what you are doing and from there everything else flows. If you ‘lose’ this presence, simple again dedicate yourself back to it, responsibility.

        3. Our responsibility in how we move and the quality of our movements are fundamental, ‘It’s not only about being honest about the things that happen but it’s more about movement, how we move, the quality of our movement. To take the responsibility deeper would be to say the quality of our movement in each moment, and more the quality of each and every movement, that means every blink, breath and swallow.’ That is some responsibility.

        4. Absolutely Lorraine and that is true responsibility. It is not something to turn off and on or save for when something goes wrong. It is a moment by moment step in every part of life, whether literally physical or not, every thought is included.

     2. And that lack of responsibility drives us to control so we don’t get exposed in our irresponsibility!

        1. Hello Robyn, if at any point things are complicated, clever or confusing it’s great to bring this back to a simple point. I agree, a “lack of responsibility drives us to control” but our focus or dedication needs to go deeper and just see a choice. Responsibility is about changing the quality or energy you are in as you would know. It’s great to expose what goes on with control but first the dedication is to come back to a true quality.

        2. Yes, the simple choice is to be ourselves or not, but first we need to know who we are, so we have a level of quality to relate to or a reference point we can feel when “complicated, clever or confusing” energy comes in through our choices. We then have an understanding of the quality we can return to, a foundation that tells us where we are at in terms of what energy we are choosing in any given moment.

        3. Hello Robyn and to me that’s the trick. When we stop or are stopped we can’t help but who we are, it’s natural. That’s why the world is so fast paced and there are so so many ‘things’ to do, all created to keep us running. How often do people say, ‘I can’t sit still or I have trouble slowing down’ etc. We can pretend we don’t know why we are but truly stop or be still and that is our natural state. Everything else can go on around us but dedication to that true stop or stillness gives you what it feels like to be you. The rest goes from there.

        4. Yes, the set up we have in the world of busyness serves the purpose of not being in the stillness we naturally hold within. When I first felt this stillness I felt like I had come home. It felt amazing. Maintaining my connection to it was a whole other ball game. It does take dedication to live in a world that is so very busy all the time and be still amongst it all. It is absolutely possible as I have found and is so very supportive to my body and my sense of well being.

        5. Hello Robyn and I agree, it made so much more sense. We have seen all through our lives, dedicate time and energy to something and you will get a result. So equally dedicate time or presence to just allowing yourself to be still and in time things will change around you. Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon have been leaders in this for years and what has ‘resulted’ has been truly magical. Thanks Robyn.

        6. Yes, Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon reminded me of the stillness within and supported me to re-connect with it. This is a service that is truly magical, as is the experience of re-connecting to the stillness and living it as much as possible.

        7. Hello Robyn and yes they returned us to it. Not by writing or telling anyone anything, but by living it. So the “stillness within” was a living teaching and not just words from a page of old. This living is ongoing and never for a moment stopping to wait but more honouring all that is there from a living quality, simple.

        8. Very simple indeed. To walk the talk is so very powerful and comes with a natural pull for others to do the same, as we see that it is not just possible, it is lived.

        9. Thanks Robyn and if you have an image when you are reading, writing or thinking of ‘walk the talk’ then for me you have possibly already stepped away. The ‘walk the talk’ isn’t taking centre stage or speaking or being seen, it can be as simple as typing on a computer. Everything is everything all the time and never is it different.

        10. So very true Ray. Walking the talk can be everywhere and in everything.

        11. Yeh it’s a natural thing, when you live what you feel and not just speak about it everything is there. It’s not a pipe dream or a silver lining on a cloud, it’s real and tangible. Live a quality, a true quality of how you are with everything you do and the world opens up and then ongoing deepen that quality in everything and the world truly is a different place.

        12. Yes, I have found that my perspective on life has changed significantly “…and the world truly is a different place.” to me now.

        13. Thanks Robyn and this is ongoing. The moment we stop and look back and compare how much better we are then before we are already turning partly away from the next point. Appreciate everything you see but always with our head up knowing that after that moment there is another moment reading and already waiting. The ‘Livingness’ doesn’t punch it’s time card at 5pm, it is a true moment by moment approach to everything.

        14. It does keeps building on itself, that is true. Our reality just keeps expanding the more and more aware we allow ourselves to become. And this does not just happen between the hours of 9am and 5pm, it is a 24 hour a day deal. Evolution is on offer always and in everything. It is up to us to choose it in every moment we can.

        15. Hello Robyn I agree with what you are saying and while it’s true, “Evolution is on offer always and in everything.” the choice comes from a dedication to be truly connected in everything you do. In other words ‘evolution’ isn’t a choice so much as an alignment to an energy, or not. The choice isn’t like we would see it in our current world, this colour, this car, this food etc. It is a moment by moment choice to align to an energy, a living alignment that then through that choice you are pulled to evolve. Evolution is offered from the choice to truly align.

        16. It is interesting what you are saying Ray about choice, as my experience has been that once the choice has been made to align to evolution it then becomes about a series of acceptances, taking us deeper and deeper into the alignment.

     3. “If we are not living in a way that is supportive and loving we then need others to be a certain way.” Which also shows how controlling we are being with ourselves first and foremost, which then spills out to controlling others, as well as our environment.

        1. This is so true Robyn. The way we treat ourselves will then be the way we treat others. So if we try to control others we can be sure that we have the energy of control in our own bodies.

        2. And this can be a bitter pill to swallow, as I have experienced. To admit that the way we are with others is how we are with ourselves first can be a bit of an OUCH moment. But also quite beautiful in confirming all the loving and nurturing ways we are with others and ourselves.

265. “when I realised this situation is not asking me to change myself at all, nor is it asking me to go into anxiety: that is my choice. All the task is asking of me is to find the answer, nothing more, nothing less, so why allow my mind and its antics to dictate how I am going to feel in this situation?” This is a life changing experience and wisdom to learn and know for ourselves. Thank you for sharing this, as anxiety and control is an epidemic in the world for so many and it is through the teachings and reflection of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine that we can begin to understand what is really going on and the power we all have to change things by making loving choices for ourselves.

266. Julie even your last line is pure gold, ‘Facilitator of my own life, love, and absolute joy.’ Now that is a bumper sticker worth reading and feeling.

     1. Yes it is!

267. Life returns so much to our choices and what energy we choose to make those choices. Control feels very forceful and imposing, like it’s not actually allowing us to feel the choice, but it’s living from a fear of what would be if we were to let it go. It can control us from even realising that we are in control, I have felt it to be that strong. Self responsibility feels like we’ve looked at it, felt it and then decided this is the way to be.

     1. Hello Gill and I agree control is an external thing we choose to go into. It’s not apart of who we are. Then this poses a question, why would we choose something that doesn’t feel that great? The reason would be if our movement to ‘that choice’ has been in a way that allows the choice to be made without feeling as though we actually made the choice. In other words our movements in each moment have a quality, have presence and a deep care in your movements and you can see control coming or if you walk into it then you can feel you are there. Take no care and keep watching and responding to everything outside of you then you have no true idea where you are and your choices, well they are made for you before you even think.

268. By attempting to control our environment around us and the people in our life’s, we are actually not trusting and surrendering to the fact that we are part of the whole and all deeply connected, and are all equally important in making up the whole, and therefore held and supported as part of the whole.

     1. Hello Thomas, I agree and it starts a little closer to home than that. If we are “attempting to control our environment around us and the people in our life” then something has gone on for us. What have we walked past? We are reacting or not wanting to see something we have already felt and this part is the second step away, looking at others. We are the whole, the environment and anything we do with ourselves first is then there equally for everyone. So what are we reflecting into the world around us? A deep care bought about from how we are with ourselves first, a living deep care that is walking our every step because that is who we truly are, or something else.

269. I love what you say here: “I will feel safer if I am in control of a situation or thing, but this is an absolutely ridiculous expectation and leaves no room for me just being me in my preciousness and love.” Control really doesn’t work but it is a kind of safety mechanism, or so we think. Firstly it doesn’t really protect us, secondly it is very strenuous and stressful and thirdly it keeps us in a small tight box with no room to move beyond its confines.

270. Julie this morning I had the realization that my problem with control is way bigger than I originally thought. The reason why I am not fully aware of the extent to which control governs my life is because I have it so well controlled that I don’t get to feel the control. What alerted me to this, is that I am going away soon and won’t be here to control my sons afternoon tea and I therefore realised that there are many things that I currently control but am not aware of simply because I currently control them. Time for the Empire of Control to crumble.

271. Self-responsibility is out the window these days. It seems there is little awareness of the impact that people’s actions have on others. There is so much blame in the world and little reflection on the part that we play in everything that happens in life.

     1. I agree Matthew, without self-responsibility we can continue under the false notion and/or belief that we are separate and what we do does not affect another, we can then continue are reckless and disregarding ways, yet our body’s and planet are showing that we are in fact not getting away with it.

     2. I agree Matthew but I say there is greater awareness and that is why we have such and increase in irresponsibility. We know there is no escaping what we are feeling, the only way you can make it appear you don’t see is by escalating the behaviours around what you have already felt, distract or delay from the feeling. Life is simple be honest about what you are feeling or at least be honest that you feel or continue running from something and the only reason we run is because we have already felt what is there, we really are funny to watch.

     3. This is true Matthew and this can translate into what is termed ‘narcissism’, which is being studied within the younger generations of our society, but which is fundamentally self-absorption through a lack of responsibility.

     4. Yes, there is a numbness to the impact and effect we have on ourselves and others in the world at present, therefore allowing and breeding irresponsibility throughout the generations.

     5. Yes Mathew, there is so much blame in the world today as it is the easiest way out of not taking responsibility of the choices that we make and dumping whatever we don’t want to deal with onto another but our bodies are the marker of our truth so there is so much we can play this game until the body tells us otherwise.

     6. And this lack of self-responsibility is not only playing out big time in our relationships and society with the lack of decency and respect we are all too often seeing – it is also being illustrated in our escalating rates of illness and disease.

272. When we feel the need to control everything in our lives and even the people around us it is a very exhausting and stressful way to live, we then can easily swing into overwhelm and wanting to give up on ourselves and life, as we have set up this unnatural expectation and way of trying to control life, rather than surrendering to our majestic,
     Grand selves and living from there.

     1. Yes correct Thomas, controlling indeed is very exhausting and has an affect on the body that we perhaps don’t even want to admit to. By letting go of control, trusting and surrendering we allow for the space for our movements to be from true divinity rather than a watered down version of how we think we want life to look like.

        1. Yes Donna we use a lot of energy when we control the amount of love and light that we will express. Being a practitioner I see exhausted people every day simply because they are controlling there expression, the relief they feel when they surrender and allow themselves to be who they naturally are is enormous.

     2. So true Thomas – I hadn’t put control and overwhelm together like this before, but they are very well matched and go hand in hand with stress too. I often feel overwhelm and can now understand more that the antidote is surrender – surrender to who I am and what I can bring in each moment. If I approach one thing at a time without the investment to what it will look like or an outcome then there is nothing to be overwhelmed about.

        1. I also find I go into overwhelm when I think I am not equipped to handle a particular situation or circumstance, but I know that we are already everything, so I remind myself of this and this allows me to surrender to what is already known (within me), this then paves my way forward rather than the overwhelm. Haven’t quite mastered this yet, but I am on my way!

        2. So true Rachel we simply need to remain very present in our body and move in our true quality, then overwhelm does not exist. Overwhelm is something we call in as an excuse to not take responsibility for our choices.

     3. I agree Thomas and there would need to be a road map to go from control to the surrender wouldn’t you agree? So how would we go from control to surrender or be fooled from surrender to control? As we are saying here there is responsibility, not how we see it in the world at the moment but a responsibility in movement, how we are and the quality we are with everything around us. Not just speaking to people or owning up to things but a deep level of care and responsibility with everything we do, even typing on a computer. If we take a deep level of care with every movement, breath, blink or otherwise then we set for ourselves a quality of living that then allows us to see more. If ‘you’ are in every movement then when something happens and you don’t feel that quality you will ask a question in place of running on autopilot and living our life from Monday to Sunday.

        1. And it gets more and more obvious when we are not living and moving in our quality the deeper we go in feeling and living this quality held within us and around us.

        2. Hello Robyn and as you know it has always been “obvious” and it is ‘us’ that have muddied the waters so we couldn’t see. It’s not that it becomes truly more obvious, it’s more our awareness of the mud becomes clearer. We are returning to a quality that was always there not creating a better way.

        3. I agree, as our awareness increases we see more clearly, therefore making things that little bit more ‘obvious’, or known, to the wisdom we already hold within.

        4. Thanks Robyn and yes with awareness we simply return to what we already know. We are walking wisdom and yet most of our looking is at what’s outside.

        5. And looking outside of ourselves is the way we are taught to live. It can start from very young… looking to mum and dad for reassurance in smiling, crawling, walking etc. Then we start school and we are told we know nothing and we need to be ‘educated’. There is very rarely any part of society that supports us to connect to the wisdom we all hold within to find the answers and guidance we are looking for. It is an amazing way to live when we let go of the quest to gain recognition and reassurance outside of ourselves and re-learn how to trust and surrender to all that is known within us, a never ending depth of wisdom is available, ready, willing and able to support us in every different way that is needed.

        6. Hello Robyn and agree with all you say. The only way to turn the tide on this way of living, “There is very rarely any part of society that supports us to connect to the wisdom we all hold within to find the answers and guidance we are looking for”, is to make a change ourselves. This ‘change’ in living isn’t for a day or a faze to run through but an ongoing dedication to the quality of how we are living, in each moment.

        7. Absolutely agree with you Ray, “This ‘change’ in living isn’t for a day or a faze to run through but an ongoing dedication to the quality of how we are living, in each moment.” Dedication to quality is vital to not just sustaining change but continuing to evolve.

        8. Thank you Robyn and for me it possibly just ends with an ongoing or a deepening of the “dedication to quality” in everything we do, our living quality.

        9. Yes, a deepening it is. Beautifully said.

273. “The problem with the ‘needing to control’ theory is that I have to constantly control as much as I can in order to feel any sort of achievement or okayness, but that state is very short-lived and it needs to be constantly fed.” Wow Julie this is quite a revelation, I see how I live in this way, in particular with my work, when I feel in control of my work I feel a sense of achievement-ticking all the boxes on my ‘to do’ lists. But then I feel empty again, dissatisfied and empty and so tense in my body, I then feel I have to do it all over again to feel good about myself. This is very different to when I work in a connected way from my body, and simply do what’s needed to be done without the drive or control.

274. Julie my unfolding around control continues as a result of your blog and my willingness to uncover more. I have felt in the last week a rather ugly element to the control that I still inflict on others and that is a very cunning trait of hushing the tone of my voice when I am controlling another, so that I am less likely to be detected. Ugly isn’t it? I , of course know on one level that everything can be felt by us all and so a hushed tone will not truly bamboozle anyone but there is obviously a part of me that tries.

     1. Your honesty Alexis has inspired me to ponder on the way I control others, I often exaggerate and dramatize a situation to try to control and manipulate another, particularly around my health if I feel a little unwell, I exaggerate to try to force the other person to look after me, rather than ask for help and trust and surrender that it will be provided.

        1. Alexis, your honesty is truly inspiring and great for us all to read and relate to catching out our own sneaky ways that we use to disconnect.

        2. Loving the honesty of both of you Alexis and Thomas which has led me to ponder on how I control. I tend to do the same thing as you Alexis with my voice and also there is a control with my body rather than allowing for it to naturally flow and move of its own accord. The more we can become aware of the way we control then slowly we loosen the shackles in which it binds us.

        3. Wow Thomas such great detection. It is by this level of honesty that we are able to flush the conniving spirit out of it’s hiding holes. If we keep outing it from it’s nooks and crannies it’s eventually gonna get jack of our tenacity and leave et voila we are left purely with soul!

     2. What’s interesting is that we think we can get away with these changes in the tone of our voice.. yet it’s so obvious to others when we’re not being ourselves, because we all do this and so can detect it easily in another. The more aware I become, the more I’m noticing how my whole body changes and goes hard when I’m in ‘performance’ mode.. telling someone something in a way that comes from my head and not from my body, and how false this feels compared to when I’m naturally expressing what I’m feeling from my body and not from my head.

        1. Exactly Bryony – we think we can get away with it… the reason being we are not coming from our true selves when we do it, we are playing a game.

     3. This is great Alexis. Thank you for sharing, as when I was reading your comment I felt the manipulation that seems to automatically come with control. The two really do go hand in hand.

275. When we are being responsible we have the ability to simply surrender to what is already in motion – that is what is already known – there is nothing we need to control, we just need to stay connected and follow the messages from the body. As I allow this more and more I am realising that all that is there for me to do gets done, and the quality it gets done in is exquisite.

     1. This is such a simple thing to do, ‘stay connected and follow the messages from the body’

        1. All the teachings of Universal Medicine are this simple, the problem is a lot of us think that it is too simple so we do not give it a go, we are so used to complication.

        2. It is simple Carmel, and there is an art to living this simplicity. One I explore in more depth every day.

     2. When we are being responsible we have the ability to simply surrender to what is already in motion – that is what is already known – there is nothing we need to control, we just need to stay connected and follow the messages from the body. My second reminder for this morning Robyn. We stay connected, and move in a way that confirms we are divine, and re-imprint what was before.

        1. Yes Julie, in this quality we are very different to how we have been and so every movement from here on in is a re-imprint of what has come before. Quite beautiful really.

276. Just recently, I was feeling a bit ragged in my body. I stopped one night after I had gotten into bed to feel my body. There was quite a build up of tension so I really centred myself and dropped into a deep surrender, letting go of the tension simply by allowing myself to let go of whatever I was holding onto. The next morning I woke up feeling well rested, but almost instantly I felt the tension return. While I was in the shower I felt how my body was showing me the way I was dealing with the pressures I was feeling around uni and completing work by a deadline. I could feel I was traumatised by this way. Once again I stopped and connected as deeply as I could to the quality that I have come to know as me and the tension once again dissolved. This was interesting to me as it showed me that in the tension I was coming from my mind and ideals I had about the timing of completing my assignments and the push that was being allowed to play out. I also felt how depleted my body was from this, so I took a day where I simply nourished me by nourishing my body, with a gentle walk, a nourishing nap. Afterwards I felt more like me and was able to feel what was needed and when once again. It simply comes down to me being disciplined in staying surrendered and listening to how my body feels in every moment and honouring it. So when it says that is enough, I stop, no ifs or buts about it!

     1. Absolutely Robyn its super important to honor our bodies and listen to them, and stop and rest and take care of them, when that’s what they are asking for. I have found when I do this I actually get far more done and am more efficient when I return to the work or task I was doing, and it gets done in a quality that has all of me in it.

        1. Yes, respecting ourselves by respecting our bodies does bring a stronger quality of presence and energy level to tasks, making them easier to complete, as there is a natural flow that is allowed.

     2. Thank you for all you’ve shared here, Robyn as I have recently returned to studying and it is surprising how quickly I let the mind start ruling and the tension build in the body. Each week is a learning in staying with my body and some great tips here too.

        1. It is a bit of a process jsnelgrove, I agree. Today, as I lay down to take a moment to connect more deeply to my body, I realised that I need to be my own best friend throughout, what can be described as a completely unnatural environment, to support myself and talk with myself in a more consistently loving way. How would I talk to one of my friends if they were in my situation? I certainly wouldn’t drive them to be more, chastise or criticise them for not getting better marks etc. I would in fact remind them of who they are, that they are enough as they are, and to lovingly do what was needed throughout the course of a university degree or diploma through dedication and commitment to the quality of who they are, and taking moments to stop and just allow themselves to be with no thoughts of study or deadlines. I am yet to master this but am willing to give it a red hot go in this life.

        2. Thank you for the expansion Robyn, it is a support and development for us all to discover a true way to take part in life and the necessities that are part of what we have to do to show our worth without our worth being affected and compromising our bodies and beings as we know and can feel we are already all we need to be. And you are correct it is accepting that this is part of the learning but being willing and aware is a start 🙂

        3. Yes, it is a start jsnelgrove36, I agree. A pretty good one too. To live life from the perspective that we are already enough is huge. Navigating our way through the ways in which we withhold this is also part of it and a much needed part in order for us to stay real and grounded through the process.

     3. Beautiful Robyn, this really shows that the quality we choose in each moment leads to the quality of how we are in the next. When we choose to nourish ourselves deeply our quality deepens too.

        1. So true, Christopher, one leads to another.

277. I know if my thoughts drift to blaming others for a situation that has arisen then I haven’t taken responsibility for my part in what has occurred. For me now it is always about looking at my own role first before I consider anyone else’s influence. After all it is much easier to change our own patterns of behaviour than it is another person’s.

     1. Yes you are absolutely correct Stephen. And what I am discovering more is that if I go into thinking and blaming another it is a cue to myself that I have disconnected from me and that I need to come back to how I move my body and the quality of my movements. When I change my movements to be in true connection with me, those thought patterns cease to exist.

        1. Great point Donna, when we go into blaming another its because we have disconnected from our bodies and hearts, not taking full responsibility for staying connected and true to ourselves and our feelings, we then look outside of ourselves to blame another, because we are already outside of ourselves in the first place.

278. Work hard in life, for we are designed to work hard, but realise that the “hard work” is outside of you. We get affected by so much in life because we take it on as you have described above in this blog, and then we blame the hard work. But it is not the task that is to blame but the way we go about it that exhausts us.

     1. Correct Adam, it is the way we work that exhausts us, not the work, this is something I am examining and bringing awareness to in my life. Wanting recognition and approval from others, pleasing and being nice or not speaking up and expressing when there is something that needs to be said, are some of the many ways I exhaust myself.
        I have also noticed the way I move throughout the day effects me, if I move in a hard or rushed way, without being present in my body only focusing on getting the job done, it depletes me.

        1. if you think about it, on a physical level, there is no difference between the movement required to swing a hammer, and swing a golf club or a fishing rod. Yes the details of the mechanics might be slightly different, but the principle is the same. Why then do we consider one as a burden, and the other a delight? Worth considering.

     2. There is nothing hard about hard work.

     3. Love it Adam, you have clearly highlighted how we conveniently focus on the “hard work” as being the problem and not the quality or way we live that might be affecting things.

279. Agreed Julie – the inner stillness is the absolute solid foundation to move and live from.
     “I also appreciate the stillness that holds me so beautifully right through the whole process of returning to the truth that I am, as it is my eternal true anchor and guide”.

     1. Agreed Stephanie, as we build a solid foundation of inner stillness a strong connection to our body’s and a presence in our movements, it holds us throughout the day, and is there for us to re-turn to when we allow ourselves to get pulled astray into situations or emotions.

     2. And it never forsakes us, it is us that forsakes it.

     3. Stephanie I only can agree – I am discovering my stillness more and more and also my appreciation for it. Only since I live it in my body do I understand the power of my stillness.

     4. Stillness is indeed a divine quality of the Soul and something currently under expressed on earth. Unimedpedia Stillness provides more insights into this beautiful quality here: http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia/word-index/unimedpedia-stillness.html

280. It really is that simple to simply be a Son of God – thanks to the presentations by Serge Benhayon.

     1. Simple.

     2. Yep. Simple.

     3. Yes indeed it is very, very simple but initially not that easy in a world that is currently and predominantly expressing the opposite. Takes love, commitment and responsibility.

281. “I can just come from that natural steadiness inside of me and then my own stillness can hold me so beautifully right through the whole process of finding an answer in any situation whatsoever”. So simple yet so powerful Julie; self responsibility is certainly the key. Thank you for your beautiful expression and sharing.

     1. I love this paragraph too Shirl – stillness offers a space where there is trust and a deep inner knowing.

282. It’s really quite something to acknowledge, ‘this situation is not asking me to change myself at all.’ Indeed situations are just what is happening at present. But all too often I imbue them with beliefs and expectations.

     So it’s quite something to stop and feel actually there is space between the situation and myself. Space where I can feel my body and what is a response that supports. That in this space I have a choice – a situation does not dictate the terms. It might seem like it within work for example, to adhere to the culture within work when actually that’s a choice – usually born from a fear of not fitting in and being ostracized.

     1. This is great what you share here Karin, to feel that “there is space between the situation and myself”. When I can allow myself to feel that I truly have a choice to respond from my body and not just go into a reaction or a default program that is running me.

        1. I like what you have shared Judith, when we have a space between a situation and ourselves we can observe and respond, otherwise when there is no distance or space we can only re-act, or act out of our emotions or hurts. Space gives us the possibility of choice, and the ability to respond, which is the true meaning of responsibility.

     2. And if I do not honour this space, the movements of my body will go into an autopilot of habits that I have done many times over which in affect keep me disconnected and in a particular pattern. When I honour the space between myself and the situation, there is a different relationship to and with my body and I am able to change my movements accordingly in a way that honours the space which I feel not only in my body but also in my being.

     3. It is a great point you make Karin about the space and it also occurs to me how often everyone is adhering to the culture as you put it for fear of not fitting in – so who set the culture in the first place and what if everyone allowed themselves to be who they truly are? How strange if we are all pretending to be someone else because others are pretending to be someone else because we all want to fit in???!! … but if we were ourselves we would be truly connected in our one essence and what we would experience is way beyond fitting in, but the great joy of unity and brotherhood!

        1. I regularly experience that great joy of unity and brotherhood at Universal Medicine courses and events. I am blessed to also experience it at work, where I work with a team of people committed to living, working and expressing with awareness, love and energetic integrity as presented by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

283. Julie thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing this blog. It is filled to the brim with pertinent and power-full lines that sing the truth. It is exactly what I needed to hear and will read this regularly. This line particularly jumped out – “why allow my mind and its antics to dictate how I am going to feel in this situation?”. We do that so so often but it is the wisdom of the body is where it is at.

     1. it is the wisdom of the body is where it is at. Yes Sarah, absolutely. When we give ourselves space when we feel the tension, it opens it up to be seen and felt very clearly.

     2. I agree Sarah, this is an exceptionally fantastic blog full to the brim with many gems.

284. “If I choose to blame the situation or thing, … that deflects away from the fact that I don’t wish to feel that I haven’t taken full responsibility for my feelings and am thus using the situation as the reason for my tension.” These words are gold and so true – rather than taking responsibility for our behaviours, we can think that it is easier to blame all and sundry; only thing is that that doesn’t change anything. Control works to a degree and is very arduous and hardening to the body and the mind, but it doesn’t deliver freedom, let alone ease or joy.

     1. So true Gabriele and if we were to remain connected to the body we would feel the shift in our body each time we went into control, this would be a great marker for us to let go of the control and come back love.

        1. Yes, the body is great at showing us what energy we are choosing – control or self-responsibility.

285. We have a multitude of choices or so it would seem, but are there a multitude? Or is there just one, to be present and connected with everything you do or not. So if at any point we ‘arrive’ at a choice and say we go into control, this would only show a past pattern or momentum of the same choice. Where as arrive at a choice and no matter what it is choose presence and connection then you will see it wasn’t a choice about a thing but a choice of how you would like to live. We don’t just arrive at any given point, we walk or live to that point. All that point reflects to us is how we have lived to that point, if you choose something other than what is truly you then it’s not about changing the choice but changing the way you live. That way no matter what presents in front of you, you will choose you every time.

     1. This is so beautifully said Ray, life is so simple!
        The question that arises looking at the world is, do we like it to be that simple? Or do we prefer the many choices over the one choice, so we can have all the drama and complication that it brings because it gives us an identity and all the stimulation that we seek?

        1. Ah Judith, super well summed up and yes disagree, react and throw stones if you like but nothing can take away from the quality of what is being said here. Life is truly simple, it is and has always been our choice to complicate and create it any other way. We only need let go of what we have created and more and more we will see life in it’s simplicity. Thank you Judith.

     2. So if at any point we ‘arrive’ at a choice and say we go into control, this would only show a past pattern or momentum of the same choice.
        “Where as arrive at a choice and no matter what it is choose presence and connection then you will see it wasn’t a choice about a thing but a choice of how you would like to live.” I absolutely love your expression here Ray, so much wisdom and absolute power in the words that you most definitely live. Taking us all to another level. Thank-you.

        1. Hello Julie and great thank you. So if we have gone into, ‘Life isn’t like that, it’s ok for them or him to say that, I wish I said that, who does he think he is’ etc etc, again this has different words but just simply another choice not to “choose presence and connection” If you want to live the difficult life, simple, appreciate nothing around you and put your head down into Monday. If you are tired of this circle of life then appreciate everything that is said here and walk your next step, then simply repeat. See you ‘walking’ Julie.

     3. Hi Ray, you say: “We have a multitude of choices or so it would seem, but are there a multitude? Or is there just one, to be present and connected with everything you do or not.”

        I agree we only have one choice and I would say that that one choice is which energy we connect to… and in that there are only two choices. Do we connect to the Soulful energy of love and truth or the astral energy of all that is not of truth and true love (which does not have an ounce of emotion in it). EVERYTHING that happens thereafter is a consequence of which energy we are expressing – so simple!

        1. I love how simple this is Nicola, the beauty in simplicity is unparalleled. We can fight all we like, there is truly only one choice.

     4. Great comment, it really brings life back to responsibility.

        1. Thank you Sarah and that is what responsibility truly is, a living action rather than a confession. We will so often go to a spoken word and want people to believe us rather then putting the work in on the ground first. In other words, action what you are talking about first and then the words you speak carry this imprint. Responsibility spoken without a change in how you live is just words on a page.

        2. You just keep on delivering gold, it is amazing what we have inside for us to share and what I love is that it is on the internet for anyone to access if they wish to. Thank you for reminding me that words only hold power if they have a living quality.

        3. Thank you and it is an ever deepening responsibility that we may not wish to see, the fact that everything we do, no matter how big or small, whether witnessed or not, is felt by everyone thereafter.

        4. Thats big and very all encompassing, thank you, I needed that today.

        5. Thanks Sarah I agree and yet a simple choice in each moment. Get caught in anything past that and you have already possible stepped away from what we have said. No further delay needed, just step back.

        6. I am standing in the appreciation of what is on offer in my life, nothing to step back to, as I have been fortunate enough to not step away today. I agree though, I am a big one for delay and getting caught up making things too big or bigger than they are. In the past I have chosen this in order to escape responsibility, not anymore, I am not going to be anywhere accept right here in the moment, in a quality that I know works and in deep appreciation for everything including myself.

        7. Well worth appreciating Sarah and a road map for all of us.

        8. Its taken me a long time to realise that something as simple as appreciation can be what is missing from a day or a moment. I have never regretted appreciating something or someone too much but I have regretted not appreciating someone or something enough. So yes I agree Ray, it is a road map worth travelling on.

        9. Great point Sarah and it could be possible that the “regret” comes in from knowing something like this but walking past it because we have made something else more important. Turn the tables on life and simply appreciate. It’s not a blind hope or a positive spin but true appreciation for what you see in front of you, the little things. It certainly has changed my view and is my go too when I feel myself walking down a road of regret.

        10. I love your conversation here, it is very uplifting and brings more clarity with every word spoken. Yes, life is simple as it always comes back to a choice to either staying present and with us in every moment or not. By living this consistently a whole chunk of what we had thought life to be breaks away from our life and we start to see and experience that there is no need for drama and making life complicated.

        11. Thanks for the input Esther, you sum it up beautifully.

286. I organized something on the weekend with the underlying concept of ‘simple’. Still, there were definite moments where tension wanted to creep in about how it should be and look. These were awesome to observe because none of them were coming from anywhere else but my thoughts. I held the power of keeping it simple or going with the push for some illusionary picture.

287. Great Nicole, it is a huge freedom reclaimed when we can stop trying to own the answers to everything in life, and try to control it, and instead allow ourselves to open up and surrender, then what we feel and understand gives us all the answer we need in that instant.

     1. Trying to control an outcome is solely driven by our need for security and protection; and is always at our expense because we need to fight for it (so to speak). Surrendering is the only true way to ensure any outcome – you cannot determine what it will look like; but you can guarantee that it will be an outcome that comes from simplicity and will be supportive on all levels.

     2. What you are sharing Annie is true freedom, what we all want but are too afraid to allow.

288. I agree Susan; the quality in the way we move is key. It would be near impossible to go into control mode when we are moving with quality.

289. Little by little I am learning to ‘improvise’ in life. The control I have clung onto in order to feel safe in my life by having things an exact way is gradually loosening, and there is more flexibility creeping in. If I am with myself I am free to be flexible within my environment and I can be open to responding to what is needed rather than having an ideal about how it ‘should’ be.

290. Absolutely Elizabeth, many a time have my poor kidneys been aching from exhaustion of too much doing and zero quality at the end of the day.

291. Yes Nicole, there are so many situations where we feel this tension as we have judged or categorised what we are doing and so then are in no position to support and listen to what our bodies need because that tensions takes us away and into our heads.

292. I could feel a level of control sneak in this morning in regards to the image of how I thought my day should play out. Once I recognised that I was buying into a picture and saw how it had hold of me, I returned to my gentle breath, surrendered my body and allowed for a flow. Control simply creates an unwanted tension that doesn’t serve anyone.

     1. Hello Donna and I agree, this ‘control’ doesn’t just sneak up on us in the morning. It is there in the way we live well before the choice to go into it or not. So while it’s great to be aware of when we ‘go into it’, you could say at this point you are already in it. Be present and connect to every part of your life and there is no need to live with a control as life isn’t about control or not, it’s simply about connection.

     2. What a beautiful learning and from your own body Donna. I can relate to these pictures of how the day ‘is to be or look’. It is so confirming of your openness to surrender back to your true quality to re-connect to the flow that is naturally there.

293. Learning to reclaim myself in any given situation instead of going into a reaction is something I am working on everyday. It is exposing of how deeply ingrained the arrogant way of being actually is.

     1. Kate I too had not fully appreciated how often I spend my days reacting to what is going on, instead of allowing myself the space to feel and acknowledge what is going on, as a deeply sensitive man. It is also something I am working on.

        1. It is interesting because usually we feel first and then react to what we feel often because we want it to be different to how it is or don’t know how to handle our feelings and what we have picked up so we try to control the situation.

294. I feel we as humans are incredibly resistant to our own evolution. We fight against what is presented to us to help us grow, we arrogantly believe we know the way but ultimately when we surrender and let go of our agenda that we think keeps us safe, we can open to a whole other world that is full of magic, healing and love.

     1. Just by reading the word ‘surrender’ in your comment Kate, my body melted. The resistance to who we are and living that way is huge! And even as someone who knows that and has clocked it in themselves, I still choose to go there at times. Surrender is the best form of medicine to undoing the tension that resistance and the fight creates in the body.

295. It is not life that is the problem, it is our lack of acceptance of it and our reaction to it. When this is understood we can reclaim ourselves in any given situation. Instead of being controlled by the pictures we hold in our mind we can fully embrace what is before us without a reaction, a reaction that in turn creates a huge amount of stress in the body.

     1. Lack of acceptance and therefore lack of understanding are huge issues in how we deal with and live life; but then there is nothing out there that addresses this problem as truthfully and practically as do Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and its practitioners.

        1. I agree Gabriele, I struggled terribly with a lack of acceptance of myself and life. It is through the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom as presented by Serge Benhayon I have now finally begun to truly heal this within myself.

296. The hardened body has become a norm in todays world, but it is very far from normal. Living in constant tension is a pathway to many complications and disorders from insomnia to pain to abuse in all its forms, all germinating from a body in tension.

     1. Exactly Matthew, our bodies have so much to contend with when we place them in an unnatural rhythm and movement – one which keeps us held in struggle and complication and away from our natural flow. The body has no choice but to clear this.

     2. Indeed Matthew, it is a sad reality that most people have no idea of their own delicate and precious nature which is hidden underneath the hardness and the tension.

297. I love what you share about ‘blaming’ your study for the tension you felt in your body Julie. I know this pattern all to well. It seems so easy and satisfying to project blame outwards in the moment, however, the truth is that this choice leaves me feeling more stressed than I did before as it places responsibility outside of me and confirms that I will be affected by the world. When I choose to take responsibility I see that I can remain steady no matter what I am faced with.

     1. Hello Leonne, I agree with what you are saying and the responsibility comes from feeling the ‘stress’ or the change in your body and returning to presence or a true connection to what’s next. The responsibility is the true connection or returning to the stillness or settle feeling before you take the next step. To think we can go from a ‘tension’ to a ‘responsibility’ in the same moment as a ‘choice’ will lead to another ride on the merry go round. The responsibility is always a return, rather then a better choice.

        1. Great point Ray. And it is the way we move that guarantees a true change, and not any idea or ‘better’ choice that comes from our mind.

        2. Yes Kylie and like anything and like we have known since young, anything we do we need to live. So as you say, “it is the way we move that guarantees a true change, and not any idea or ‘better’ choice that comes from our mind.”So we should stop thinking on how to change the world and start moving in a way that we would love the world to be. In other words live the future we see now.

        3. There is indeed great wisdom to be gained from listening to our body and its every movement. Our body reveal where we are at, whether our mind or our heart is running the show and its harmonious movement can effect great and true change.

        4. Can it be possibly this simple Deborah? Just our movement and the conscious, consistent deep care of it makes a “great and true change” From everything I have seen I say yes and it’s a great move. Serge Benhayon, the master of movement.

        5. ‘Serge Benhayon, the master of movement’ and master of the movement of True Living.

        6. Thank you Deborah and I see these as one and the same. We having ‘living’ defined as so many things but living is simply movement. Take great care in every movement and everything else will come from that. Take no care and just live life and it will feed you back that you should be aware of your movement. The way we move is everything.

        7. Awesome Ray: “The responsibility is always a return, rather than a better choice.” what a great comment and yes Kylie we are responsible for the quality of our movements… the consequence of this is one of the great keys of life that Serge Benhayon has presented.

        8. Thanks Nicola and it’s great to see it so simply. We talk of responsibility as a spoken word but not often as action with our body.

        9. ‘The responsibility is always a return, rather then a better choice.’ – Ray this is very true, your comment brings it back to simplicity.

        10. Thanks Eva and a great reminder always whether or not you are in the thick of things is to bring “it back to simplicity”. In other words, live simplicity in your every move and when you need it, it can’t help but be at your fingertip.

     2. Great words of wisdom Leonne: “When I choose to take responsibility I see that I can remain steady no matter what I am faced with.” Choosing responsibility is one of the strongest building blocks for the steady foundation that holds me no matter what happens in my life. And what I love is the fact this responsibility is not the heavy, scary and restricting weight I used to think it was, but a liberation from the stress and strain of trying to control life.

        1. So true Ingrid. It is awesome to see and feel the truth about responsibility.

298. ” I am so much more than my mind will allow me to know”
     This is great to appreciate as the mind is all about control and our bodies allow us to truly feel. We make the choice about which one is guiding us in life.

     1. Indeed we do Anne, and we all know what it feels like when we don’t choose love to guide us and why we chose that. It highlights the importance of presence as best as we can.

        1. I agree Julie and “It highlights the importance of presence as best as we can.” and I would leave it as “It highlights the importance of presence”. I am not saying we would need to be hard on ourselves either but be responsible, knowing that any point we aren’t present, it is not love and so why would we want that. The dedication is to presence with everything in every moment, not perfect but a clear dedication.

        2. It is never helpful to be hard on ourselves as we are always learning, evolving and expanding. Even if we are not present we can be present to the fact that we are not being present and therefore regain our presence!

     2. I agree this is such a true statement, Anne, ” I am so much more than my mind will allow me to know”. I am finding this as I go back to uni. The mind is caught in a cycle and within that cycle that is all it knows, until one day someone comes along and reminds the person that is attached to this mind that they have a heart and it is in their body and this is where all wisdom lies. There is no need to think, there is no need to control, and there is no need to avoid responsibility. All is held within our hearts and our bodies are our way back to living the Love that we all innately are, not our minds.

     3. Yes Anne, It always comes back to our choice wether we choose to be ruled by our minds or allow ourselves to really feel our body and make loving choices from that union.

     4. “I am so much more than my mind will allow me to know” – this line is pure gold, a life conducted by the narrowness of the mind alone will never know it’s pure grandness.

     5. That is a very simple but incredibly profound statement. It reveals the trap we set for ourselves by giving all of our power away to our incessant need to understand or figure out. There is an element of trust that is so important to us being who we are and expressing that to the world. That trust must be given to our body to feel what is going on in life. It is the only way to put our mind in its place as important but not dominating.

        1. Naren, this stopped me in my tracks today.. ” It reveals the trap we set for ourselves by giving all of our power away to our incessant need to understand or figure out. There is an element of trust that is so important to us being who we are and expressing that to the world. That trust must be given to our body to feel what is going on in life.” I have lived a life and been a person who has had an ‘incessant need to understand and figure out’.. a defence to deal with world from my head as i had shut my ‘feeling body ‘ down.. And yet this way of being in the world provided no true comprehension of people nor how life operates and whatever and whenever i communicated from this type of ‘knowing’, I didn’t really feel connected to others. I didn’t understand other people or feel understood. It was like i was always on the ‘outside’ trying to get in.. At the moment I am working on opening up to trusting the body.. but am feeling vulnerable with the hurts i have to deal with and what i may feel.

        2. I can relate to what you have said and are feeling, Michelle. When you put so much faith in your ability to know how something works, and use that faith and ability as a way to distract attention from what is truly hurting, it is a bit of a shock when that sleight of hand that you have relied on for so long no longer fools the person it was intended on fooling all along: yourself.
           Suddenly all the hurt is there, laid bare. What is needed is to be delicate and nurturing with the rawness that has been exposed. For there is an opportunity to heal this if you stay with what is now there to be seen, and be aware of the desire to hide and go back to the way things were. But the truth is that going back is not an option. Why would you go back?
           For what is here before you now is what you have wanted life to be, not ‘figured out’ not placed in a box that you can impress others with how much of it you have mapped to your memory, but here is something far more than anything your mind alone can fathom: a life that is true to one’s self.

299. Yes absolutely hartanne60, when we only focus on bringing all of us to situations as best as we can, we are not categorising it and keeping the focus with our bodies and its inner wisdom. A much more spacious and loving way through.

300. I have realised recently that control is the polar opposite of responsibility. While trying to control we are avoiding being responsible. I have also become aware of the fact that when I am being responsible there is no need to control.

     1. Yes I agree and to add Robyn I then question why do we want to control ? Why do we want to avoid responsibility ? Are we protecting something, something that we do not want to face? Perhaps we have designed all this to not have our hurts brought up so we don’t have to feel them.

        1. That has certainly been my experience johanna08smith. In the moments when I am controlling I am doing this in order to not face feeling the mess that has occurred from me not living responsibly. Because it hurts to feel my part in the disarray that has ensued. But once I do and the pain passes I feel more connected to myself and everyone around me. So delaying being responsible and instead being controlling really serves no one. It only creates more hurt and pain in fact.

        2. And we have to consider how being controlled feels for those that we try to control? This is a difficult one for me, as I have been and still am a controlling person. Stopping now to feel how my controlling ways must feel like, I am understanding that those around me must go into some kind of reaction to defend themselves from the imposing lash straps that are flung their way. Jesus wept. Even though it is ultimately our own responsibility if we choose to react or not, it does not help that we are all biting and nipping at each other pretty constantly. Who would not bunker down instinctively ?

        3. Hello Johanna and Robyn I agree this is the way it is but we are talking about already walking into ‘control’ and what this is but how did you/we get there. Responsibility is movement, movement in each moment. So yes when we are in control there are things we are protecting etc but what are we not wanting to see? The ultimate responsibility of movement to that point, in other words move in every moment with presence and a deep level of care and you will feel any step away from this. At any point the responsibility is always back and to return to movement, how and the quality we are with everything around us.

        4. Great point Alexis. I love what you have shared here.

        5. I’ve noticed how much I control when I don’t trust that there is enough time to do everything. But the more I’m in that tight space of controlling tasks and attempting to manage others’ expectations of me, the more I can feel that stress and hardness in my body and how horrible it feels: the tightness in my jaw, a rigidity in my arms and across my chest. It feels cold, hard and empty, whereas letting go of the pushy, driven control, and just being with what naturally is there to do, actually feels different – there’s a spaciousness, and from there, room for a connection to all others, instead of the cold isolation of control.

        6. Control is definitely a way to not feel my hurts I have found. Definitely a lack of responsibility and grace in this.

     2. I agree Robyn, there is no need to control when we are being responsible – no fight or angst simply participating in what is required.

        1. Yes, I agree shelleyjones44, when I am being responsible there comes a feeling of surrender, so there is no space for fight or angst to dwell.

        2. Hello Shelley we can use words to describe this as we do but I am sure you will agree this is a living thing. In other words no matter what heading you give something it is the quality that counts. So, if you know your body still or in a rested state, whatever level that maybe then anything that disturbs that natural state of stillness is a point to acknowledge or feel to the best of your ability and then connect back to the stillness before you take your next step. This process is in a matter of seconds, not minutes or days. The most important point is to always return to your body and how it feels at any moment and this is an ongoing process and not just for show. It’s all about quality.

     3. Thanks. It is a simple philosophy to live by.

     4. “When I am being responsible there is no need to control.” Such a seemingly simple but incredibly profound statement Robyn, so why then do so many struggle with the concept of responsibility? Perhaps it is simply the fear of letting go of the control of what happens next.

        1. Great question, Ingrid. I wonder if it is because we are too caught up in the control to avoid being truly responsible, therefore there is a struggle to even connect to the concept of true responsibility. There is also the element of having lived a very different version of responsibility to the actual true quality of responsibility. This can also get in the way of us really embracing responsibility for what it is. And I absolutely agree with you that there can be a fear of letting go and surrendering to what already is. This is something I have had to work up to and am now discovering the joy in living this way.

        2. Yes Ray, quality first then move in this quality.

     5. … and when we control, it is a clear warning sign that somewhere along the line we have stopped being responsible.

     6. Yes how true this is Robyn, with control comes in the desire to deflect responsibility and instead assert blame – setting us up beautifully so as to not have to deal with the truth of our situations, going into the mind and thus we harden our bodies so as to not feel the truth. When we choose responsibility we are able to feel our choices, reflect and reconsider our actions and in truth begin to see the equal part we all play in creating the life we live.

        1. What a great point you have made Jade, control comes from the mind, and with this the body has to harden to execute it because it is such an unnatural way for us to be, all to avoid the truth. Which is that we chose to go down this road of living from the cold and heartless mind rather than stay with the warmth and surrender that is so natural for us in our hearts.

     7. It is true that when we are living in a responsible way we are one with all that there is and any whisper of control is a deafening and abrasive vibration which fragments this deep harmony.

     8. It is certainly irresponsible to control as it is irresponsible to express anything that is not true or loving and being controlling is neither.

        1. Yes, I absolutely agree Nicola, there is no Love or Truth in control, none whatsoever, no matter how you dress it up.

     9. Beautifully and so simply said Robyn.

     10. Indeed, Robyn. Control is trying to not take responsibility, but cloaked under the guise of being responsible. Keeping your life under control and seemingly having it all in hand, is not responsibility, it is confining life within the borders you set. Our responsibility to ourselves and to each other is to live our lives to the fullest we are able.

         1. I love what you have written here, Naren, especially, “Keeping your life under control and seemingly having it all in hand, is not responsibility, it is confining life within the borders you set.”

         2. Expand that notion of control to a population and those borders become the imaginary lines that we use to divide countries from one another.

         3. Yes, very true. It really is a simple as that.

301. “…, I can feel the huge difference in my body and how spacious it feels to claim myself back from the thoughts that will take me down the blaming path and away from my own wise, inner counsel.” Great statement that brings us back to the truth in the moment before the mind can spoil it if we allow it to do so.

302. Living from the basis of control is so exhausting. For the body and mind it is like a juggler attempting to keep all the balls constantly in the air, never letting one drop.

     1. And what balls Jonathan? Where have we taken them from. The best juggler of life makes complication look like it might be fun – but it is still complication, unnecessary and unnecessarily intense and anxious.

        1. Great question posed here – where have we taken the balls from to juggle and complicate our lives? The more the inner connection and true movement deepens, there is less complication and contraction in our body.

        2. Yes I agree Rachel, complication may look enticing but its just a way to avoid living in simplicity.

        3. And it is exhausting Christopher.

        4. The whole point about complication is that it gives us recognition and individuality which is quite the opposite of surrendering to our innate grandness and truth where all is very simple and known. We create the complication in the first place and then say oh look at me, me, me and how hard I work and clever I am to solve this complication.

        5. This makes me smile Nicola as I recollect how I have played this little game in my life.

        6. Very true, Rachel. Those who give us a good show by juggling the most balls are given the label of successful, but we do not see them break down backstage from the energy expended and the disregard that they must treat themselves with.

        7. The show does not end when we step off stage…even if nobody else sees or knows the reality.

        8. That is an interesting point Rachael, I have often looked at someone who manages to juggle a super busy complicated life but make it look good and been impressed. But my suspicion is that the outside image is very different to the turmoil and anxiousness inside from constantly putting so much stress on their bodies. You are right complication is always complication and never necessary.

        9. …and now I go of to clear a bit more of it from my own life. 🙂
           Ah, how easily it creeps in, but like weeds in a garden, easily cleared with care, attention and not leaving it too long.

        10. Beautiful metaphor – so true if we look at life like a garden that needs constant care and attention and of course… weeding out what should’t be there.

     2. Great metaphor Jonathan – and of course we invariably drop the ball or a few of the many we are constantly juggling and trying to control and that then leads to more complications and subsequent stress.

     3. I love this analogy Jonathan. I have been a master juggler in my time and wore the badge proudly whilst all the time being absolutely exhausted. At times I felt I was one of the balls too, being juggled by life, madly trying to control things whilst failing miserably. I have learnt over time that all this juggling is not necessary, it creates complications and the balls usually land on top of me. There is another way of being that is so much more honouring of ourselves and our own rhythms. Thank you Julie for a beautiful reminder of the grandness we can celebrate when we choose to surrender.

        1. I echo your comment Jane and have recently voluntarily placed my balls down and let them roll down the hill never to be seen again! What a relief to let it all go, draw a line and realise that non of these balls or what I thought they brought to me matter anywhere near as much as the juggler I’d been ignoring my whole life! Realising all that matters is the connection with my giant heart ball has been a huge revelation for me and it’s so simple that my control hungry mind is struggling to accept it! One step at a time… The balls are down and that is a great start! ❤️💛💚💙💜💖

     4. Very true Jonathan and it does not even work as it is pure illusion that we can actually control anything in the first place!

     5. I agree Johnathan, it is very tiring to be part of. I like what Julie offers here in terms of “letting go not as in giving up; I am actually surrendering to my own grandness and wisdom” … its surrender that accepts our responsibility to be all we are.

     6. Very true, Jonathan. It can be extremely stressful trying to keep all the balls in the air all the time!

303. Because of images we hold about how we think we want things to be we do not appreciate what we actually have.

     1. How true is that Mary-Louise. The wishes, yearnings and imaginings steal our awareness away from what is really going on in our life. We cannot appreciate what we do not see and feel. Our blessings pass by, uncounted.

        1. How true this is Rachel Mascord, our desires, wishes and imaginations are controlling and manipulative and we are not able to appreciate the present, but are stuck in the emotionality of wishing or reaching something.

        2. And we miss out on the precious moment and the beauty that is before us.

        3. Absolutely Rachel we end up not appreciating the gold that is in front of our very eyes.

        4. … and we remain blind to our own reality. The ultimate irresponsibility.

     2. Well said Marylouise. We are then literally blind to what we have until we choose to see and let go of these images and also confirm what we appreciate.

        1. Absolutely Johanna, we are blind to who we are and what we have until we choose to let go of these images.

     3. Mary Louise that’s such an illuminating sentence ‘Because of images we hold about how we think we want things to be we do not appreciate what we actually have’ which has caused me to immediately consider all of the considerable time that I have spent lamenting on what others should be doing or how they should be doing it and all the while these thoughts and feelings bar me from the space that I naturally am. Knowing that many people struggle with controlling ways conjures up the picture of most of us walking around in self imposed boxes when in fact we are the universe.

     4. Absolutely, living in the past or an ideal future, in a must have, should have and endless need to have all prevent us from appreciating all that we already have and all that we naturally are (which is the unfathomable all).

        1. Yes it is quite exposing how much we live in the past or future and not be present in our bodies right here, right now. If we were to do this we would be connecting to our divinity every single moment. This is what we are missing out on.

     5. Spot on marylouisemyers!

     6. That is a great point Mary-Louise, another reason to let go of the images.

     7. Too true Mary Louise – I didn’t think of it like that before. Being so attached to how I want or think things should be, I actually miss how great everything actually is – pure madness!

304. Our body is the marker of truth, to quote Serge Benhayon and our mind creates images that we cannot live up to as there is not one ounce of truth in these images.

305. A friend shared with me today, how to them grace is the very opposite of control. Hearing this it touched me how when we live without needing to control life’s outcomes our body and its movements are natural, easy and flowing. Controlling as you say Julie just seems to make us rigid and hard. What’s also beautiful to see, is that living in an allowing way also gives other people the grace to simply be, free from need judgement and demand. Gosh grace is surely the way we were designed to be.

     1. Grace is in the allowing for another space to reach their own understanding and in their own time. Judgement comes in when we impose time or expectations upon another, and does nothing to support them only adds to the spin.

        1. Joseph and Annie I love your comments about grace. When I feel grace in another, I am graced by their presence and inspired to bring my presence. But judgement, that just closes us down to functional, defensive beings and robs us of connection.

        2. Love what you both share here Joseph and Annie, it is interesting to see in my work with children that many are beginning to see that children like adults need time and space to be, that as adults we are there to support, not control and through this we allow children to develop self-responsibility and self-awareness. But it all begins with how we are in and towards ourselves and I can feel as you have expressed Joseph, it absolutely begins with grace and the allowing of self to just be, without the need of the mind to control and harden the body. Absolutely fascinating to feel this within oneself and to begin to feel and know the difference and it’s effect on all others.

        3. Annie, this is so true, ‘Grace is in the allowing for another space to reach their own understanding and in their own time. Judgement comes in when we impose time or expectations upon another, and does nothing to support’, I can feel in the past how I have been very judgmental and very controlling with my family and friends, wanting them to be a certain way in a certain time and this has felt very hard and tiring for me and has caused a lot of tension, the more i let go and allow others to be, the more gentle and lovely I feel in my body and the more connection i have with people because they do not feel judged.

        4. And with Grace there is great space and allowing of Life to be. Without Grace there is imposition, forcefulness and tension.

        5. Being graceful to ourselves adds a further dimension to our expression. It is absolutely wonderful.

        6. Giving ourselves the grace to be where we are at and to enjoy all that we are learning and discovering naturally means we will be able to offer this grace to others.

        7. Absolutely Annie. Well said. It ‘…..only adds to the spin.’

        8. I absolutely LOVE this blog and love your comments Joseph and Annie. Grace and Space are two of my favourite words and they even rhyme.

        9. Awesome explanation Joseph and Annie! Really helps me understand what it is to judge another… I can see letting go of expectations and the control to fulfill them is going to be huge for me 😍

     2. And grace is a quality that comes from our bodies when we are connected and choosing a quality of movement in them.

        1. I agree Simon, and I feel there is so much truth expressed here, particularly this ..”Lately I am noticing that when there is something that needs to be resolved and I don’t feel in control of the outcome, I start to harden in my body and become stressed.”
           I know this one well. It is often prevalent in my relationships with others, when I want to have it work out my way-to feel “safe”. This is profound for me as I have not allowed for this to occur and feel I need to…”But in doing it this way, there is no focus on my quality of being whatsoever and I have taken myself away from feeling my body, and so I lose all sense of what my body may need or is communicating to me. Come back to the body as the marker of all truth.

     3. This is so beautifully expressed Joseph and so deeply felt in my body!

     4. Beautifully expressed Joseph. Grace is our bodies natural way to be. Our movements flow and we feel spacious and open to allow us the opportunity to connect to all.

        1. I agree Kelly, and when we get to know our own grace in this way it is mind blowing as the mind can not actually comprehend the reality that this living way offers.

     5. Joseph I love what you have shared and when I read the word ‘grace’, I felt the bowing down quality that is inherent in it. Not a subservient bowing down but an acknowledging of the God in us all.

     6. Beautifully said Ariana ‘ Grace is a presence of space for all to be within equally, it is the grand gift of the universe, which we can surrender to or contract away from, the choice is ours. Once chosen Grace can be felt as the presence of space within and throughout the body – a universal blessing’.

     7. Grace is our natural way, harmony with each other and with all of the Universe.

        1. Beautiful comment to take into my every day. Thank you Deborah.

     8. ‘Gosh grace is surely the way we were designed to be.’ – Love it Joseph!

     9. I absolutely love the word grace, that makes perfect sense that grace is the opposite of control, there is a naturalness and ease and contentment within yourself that allows others the same grace to be who they are.

306. Julie reading this blog has been a true gift to me, as I was edging towards blame and defence in regard to a situation that was presented to me yesterday. It reminds me that beyond the small details of the situation what is truly being asked of me is to take more responsibility for how I am with myself so that I made build a more supportive daily rhythm and bring more of me to the situation in hand.

     1. Oh yes me too. I am making something much more complicated than it needs to be and now allowing the space for me just to find the answer…..this line particularly felt like it was talking to me ” All the task is asking of me is to find the answer, nothing more, nothing less, so why allow my mind and its antics to dictate how I am going to feel in this situation?”. I am avoiding the responsibility of the task and creating a drama around it by making it more complicated. Check. Great reminder thank you Julie.

307. This is great Julie “at those times when I can feel myself wanting to blame, I remind myself what is really being asked of me here, and keep it really simple and honouring of my body and its true function.” Keeping it simple creates a flow from an otherwise repeat of the same behavior, same thought, and possibly mundane existence where nothing is great, unless it’s the weekend or a holiday, and life becomes ‘boring’. Simplicity brings a refreshing light and a new look keeping you afloat and in control of your way and not the systematic way. Simplicity is awesome!

     1. Rik, I can really feel that the simplicity that you express here, is most definitely settling nicely within you. I love it.

308. Stillness is where its at! 🙂

309. I so agree Katie nothing is worth losing our quality of being for no matter how important we may think it is……this is a game changer.

310. I feel so much more satisfaction in finishing an assignment or any task when the quality in which I have gone about it in does not change from start to finish and I remain connected to my body and express from the tenderness of my being.

311. When you remain steady and connected to your body, and trust and allow, what will come is more than what is required, for when you give it over to the universe holding yourself in the full equal power that you are, you become one with the universe and all the answers are there naturally so.

312. This week I stopped a moment to realize and appreciate how much less anxiety I have. It just shows that I feel confident within myself that I can handle whatever comes in front of me. That, and also that I know what to say in any given moment. The more confident I feel, the less control I need.

313. It was super-supportive to read this line i.e.. a great reminder “All the task is asking of me is to find the answer, ..” How many times do we make tasks much harder than they are and place so much pressure on ourselves to complete and keep it simple to the objective, this is not to say also thinking about other things while we do a task. Just as long as we have purpose and aim for that all tasks will complete with a joyful outcome.

314. What you have presented Julie is an ongoing learning for me, staying present without getting caught up in the momentum of completing tasks.

315. Trying to control a situation feels awful in the body, like a compression of our cells and nothing flows in a natural rhythm within the body.

316. Realising control is a form of protection is revelation. Self-responsibility in life changes everything. We can choose to react or respond.

317. Thanks Julie, when we disregard the body’s wisdom and natural intelligence and let the control kick in there is a force we introduce that takes us out of harmony. We have an innate knowing from our inner connection.

318. Yes we do always have a choice to either indulge in mental or emotional issues or stay with a quality of be-ing and choose what is next from a clarity.

     1. We always have a choice either to learn from our mistake or to berate ourselves. Berating ourselves is a complete waste of energy and extremely irresponsible.

319. ‘I’m working with understanding the difference between time and space, time being what confounds us, space being what enables us to work without constraint.’ …. me too! Time, by its very nature presents many limitations, whereas space allows things to flow and evolve, or to just, to be.

     1. Time always confounds me too. When I get fixed on time the space available for a task shrinks and leads to a cycle of stress, less competence and less space. The mind is so bossy about time, so believing it to be real, when in fact it is only a measure. Space is timeless.

320. Defeating the control monster is a Herculean task – well it has been for me! Surrendering to the flow is one of the most challenging things I’ve attempted, especially when deadlines abound. I’m working with understanding the difference between time and space, time being what confounds us, space being what enables us to work without constraint.

321. ” I can feel the huge difference in my body and how spacious it feels to claim myself back from the thoughts that will take me down the blaming path and away from my own wise, inner counsel.” I came to understand this week, that we do not think and thoughts are not even ours, yet they control our body and mind if we allow them too, and take us away from from our true connection and knowing. Therefore it’s so important to claim oneself back and not allow thoughts to take over.

322. I feel like this blog is one that I will come back to a few times as it gives the tools and practicality of surrendering what we think we know to the greater wisdom of our bodies and what they belong to… The Universe. If we leave it up to our minds to figure it out we are fighting mental energy with mental energy, and from experience, that just makes things very complicated and dense in the body. Opening up and letting go of the pictures we think we need to succeed is a great step to embodying true knowing.

323. Yes Susan, sometimes it can be a bit challenging if our default program has been resorting to control in any situation, I also find that appreciating and learning to surrender in my body has allowed me to embrace the fragility in me without any need of protection in my body.

     1. That is beautiful to feel Fransisco, ‘I also find that appreciating and learning to surrender in my body has allowed me to embrace the fragility in me without any need of protection in my body.’

     2. “I also find that appreciating and learning to surrender in my body has allowed me to embrace the fragility in me without any need of protection in my body.” Thank you Francisco. I have just started to become aware that I don’t need to harden in my body in reaction to a situation. To “embrace the fragility in me without any need of protection” this is a new awareness for me, that it is possible to feel safe and trust my body that it is wise and will know how to respond without relinquishing my delicateness and sensitivity.
        From a whole lifetime of hardening my body and ‘ steeling’ myself in reaction to what I feel, having developed and ingrained coping behaviours such as being dismissive, abrupt, tuning out, this is a huge, brave new me again emerging. It is Powerful to read such words as yours and other students, feeling the support of others living and learning to be our innately natural selves we were born to be.

324. “I can still stay with myself, feel how lovely I am in my body and do what needs to be done from that steadiness.” So important in life that we stay with our-self and the body. This has been a journey and commitment since I became a student of returning to my body. My momentum was pushing me back to my head constantly, but with the knowing all the wisdom was in my body, it is a choice to stay me or not no matter the degree of awkwardness or how uncomfortable it is.

325. Yes we give our power away to situations outside of us and these can become an excuse for how we feel. We do have a choice through, we can take responsibility and reclaim the true power we have in any moment to be exactly how we choose to be. I have found the tools from Universal Medicine has supported me to do this, including the Gentle Breath Meditation and conscious presence.

326. “My body is my love barometer and my greatest guide, so if I take all of me to everything that I do“ this is true Julie. If we do not listen to our body and simply ignore what it tells us, we are living in a way which is based on doing and very often controlling what we “think” is good for us without understanding that we miss out to connect on a deeper level with our divinity. The divinity we are here to live and reflect to another.

327. Reading this blog again I found that almost instantly I went up into my head, reading it while a song was playing in the background. When presented with truth it’s been a automatic behaviour to go into avoidance and going into my mind has been the main location of choice. As you shared Julie it’s a way of avoiding feeling and being aware that I have not chosen to stay steady with my body and it’s simplicity. I appreciate being aware of this and coming back to this blog that is sharing that it is not what is before me that creates the tension, the complications, issues, dramas, reactions etc. it’s my choice to not be me with what is before me. Thank you.

     1. I agree Leigh – In this blog Julie has offered us all a ‘pit-stop’ to re-evaluate our direction and choices to how we are in situations of stress or frustration. A call to come back to the body is received and the fact that our responsibility lies with caring for our body and allowing it to be the vehicle of expression. We don’t have to come up with the solutions or answers, it’s already done for us when we surrender and let go of the individual and it’s need for recognition.

328. “It is not that big a deal as I’m not letting go as in giving up; I am actually surrendering to my own grandness and wisdom and saying I am confirming myself as absolute right here and now, so I just let go and let that unfold.” Confirming ourselves in our grandness is a very humble act to do. It has become so common to not confirm ourselves and get lost in looking for recognition everywhere we go, that the act of confirming ourselves is seen as ‘being up yourself’. But, taking responsibility is to confirm ourselves being absolutely amazing and this is not selfish at all as it brings a more full version of ourselves into the world.

     1. Appreciating and confirming ourselves is a responsible way of being as we are building a strong foundation to then be able to deepen and evolve further.

329. So often we place much more emphasis on getting a job done or finished then we do the quality we are actually doing it in.

     1. Yes and then the finished job does not contain the true quality it needs to to be of service so we may surmise from this that it is a waste of our time, the very thing that we are trying to save…time…quite ridiculous if you consider this picture.

     2. Yes, a waste of time and a waste of our precious energy, which can often lead to exhaustion. It is all in the way, as you say ‘the true quality’ we bring to what we do that truly delivers.

330. Have we been taught and lived in a way that it is our responsibility to be in control of our self because no-one else is going to do it? By not living this way have we lost our true selves.

331. ‘My whole theory around control is that I will feel safer if I am in control of a situation or thing’ – oh yes, I thought control equaled safety too, and yet looking back now and feeling what it feels like when it crops up these days, control is anything but safe. It is the white knuckle ride of us trying to keep away from some imagined ‘jaws of chaos’! Relinquishing control is an awesome liberation – a surrender to a natural rhythm and flow that we can be part of. This has opened my eyes to the potential of humanity working and living well together.

     1. Matilda I love the analogy of control being the ‘white knuckle ride of us trying to keep away from some imagined ‘jaws of chaos’!’ It’s laughable when looked at this way, and brings lightness and a cartoon style humour to this silly behaviour that is so ingrained.

332. Thank you Julie for such a beautifully inspiring blog to read, there is so much wisdom presented that I will return to reading it again and again. I love these words” It is not that big a deal as I’m not letting go as in giving up; I am actually surrendering to my own grandness and wisdom and saying I am confirming myself as absolute right here and now, so I just let go and let that unfold.”

     1. And I will return with you Jill, as everyone’s comments are bringing forth so much amazing wisdom and lived love.

333. ‘There is a knowing that it is absolutely my choice to choose to go into tension or not.’ So often we render ourselves helpless in our reactions to situations where we feel overwhelmed, angry, stressed etc. It is great to realise that we do have a choice, and in that choice of surrender (to ourselves) rather than reacting to, or controlling the situation, there lays so much power and freedom of expression.

334. The way you describe your body when you go into your head to try and solve a problem is all too familiar to me. Sitting at my desk at work I used to catch myself in awkward positions all the time. Slowly I have been learning to remember to keep my body as my focus, and feel what is going on with it whenever I am doing things that might need me to be still for a while. This has been teaching me that still does not need to mean tense.

335. This sentence kept coming up for me today “My body is my love barometer and my greatest guide” It never ever lets me down as what it presents is my lived truth and it is my responsibility to look after it. Awesome sharing Julie thank you.

336. I find that my breathing can be affected by how I move and how I move can affect my breathing, so the responsibility is to be aware of both my breath and my movements.

     1. Yes Shami, and the quality we are moving in too… This focus and intent can rid life from the complications that lead to stress and frustration in the first place.

     2. It is very important how we move in connection to our breath, our movement is super important. If our breath is not right, and we are not moving with and in that energy everything else feel out and eventually get exhausted.

337. It’s interesting to observe in ourselves that ‘ there is a knowing that it is absolutely my choice to choose to go into tension or not.’ It’s like taking a moment to feel it before it happens in a way that I had previously thought was instantaneous and I had no choice. Understanding that there’s a choice gives us a pause to check, and decide whether to go down that route or not. Not control but increased awareness, as you say Julie, fascinating to feel it.

338. So many of us want to control our lives, the outcomes of situations for our own individual security. I know I do. To surrender to a bigger picture would mean giving this up, but looking at everything from what is needed by the world, rather than what can I get out of something personally. A big change in energy required.

339. Over the years, my understanding of what responsibility is all about has changed so much. I used to think of it as something that was a burden and hard to do. It has been such a joy to get to know what true responsibility is and this has helped to let go of needing to control everything and simply take responsibility for what I feel and know. The more I do that the easier it is to accept other people’s choices and indeed to celebrate my own choices.

     1. So, appreciation enters stage left…what a turn around from the tension and exhaustion of control, to surrender and willingness to go with a flow and plan that is bigger than us.

     2. well said Elizabeth, letting go of control definitely creates space in which we can bring more acceptance and celebration of our own choices.

     3. Beautifully expressed Elizabeth, I too viewed responsibility as a burden rather than the joy, commitment and simplicity I now understand it to be. I also love your point about celebrate both others and our own choices.

340. Having read your blog Julie, I am really appreciating how much tension and expectations I have released, I am not experiencing my old patterns. An example of one that is obvious at the moment is I am staying with friends in their home and usually I would have a level of anticipating the day or what I need to say to be worthy of the invitation, a level of nervousness trying to fit in and all that mind silliness but I am not experiencing any of it … so I am living and observing with gentleness and stillness and I am really noticing and appreciating the shift in my body as a result of my livingness.

341. ” my body is my love barometer, my greatest guide ” and how exquisite does even a taste of that feel when the connection to the all is felt, it surrenders me to a particle in the bigger picture.

342. “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent” – that is true but some people are absolutely relentless in their abuse and it takes a great ability to withstand such a torrent. Thankfully that is rare but regrettably this torrent is getting more common on the internet.

343. I had a dream last night where my car rolled back and landed on its roof, I immediately interpreted this as meaning I am going back ward and started to analysis my behaviour. Then I pondered further on the dream and realised that could not happen as there are safety rails in place. I then realised the dream was not reflecting any truth but was to derail me and enforce a negative, self critical analysis, in doing so I was giving consent to feel inferior. It’s been so confirming to read your blog this morning Julie and realise I have a choice and my mind will send in all sorts of distractions away from the simplicity of knowing who I am within.

     1. Exactly Merrilee, I can feel your amazingness from here.

344. “My whole body has been affected and influenced by my choice to force and control just to get a job/task done” – and what was hard for me was to be constantly finding myself in situations where I would feel insecure and need to keep controlling. Thanks to Serge and Natalie Benhayon, I am being able to deepen my understanding about the fact that the options for our next choices are only made available based on our previous choices, and terminate that vicious circle of control and manipulation.

345. I can so relate to that awful feeling of the body contracting whenever I push myself to complete a task against the natural flow of my body . Or when I loose that natural rhythm and choose to go into rush etc.

346. ‘With deepest gratitude and appreciation for Serge Benhayon as it is through him that I am coming to know my true self every day and feel truly inspired to be that graceful reflection.’ After reading your beautiful unfolding Julie I too felt enormous gratitude for Serge Benhayon, a true world teacher

347. Most of the world sees control as a normal part of life that is healthy and needed. The question is how imposing on others is the attempt to control? You could even argue that control is a complete illusion, any parent will tell you that.

     1. Heather, I had to smile at your last sentence and the truth that lies beneath it.

     2. I would say control is abuse, you are demanding a certain outcome at the expense of another. I have tried to use control as a parent and it feels terrible, it doesn’t ever feel ‘powerful’, you can feel how it crushes the other person and, if I’m honest, if I choose to use control over being the fullness of who I am, what sort of choice is that, it’s running away from my divinity.

348. A great blog Julie, and one I can very much relate to. It highlights the irresponsibility of control where we choose to focus on everything outside of us rather than being responsible for how we are in each moment i.e. what energy are we choosing in whatever we are saying, thinking or doing.

349. This is very true Elizabeth, I have become very aware of this lately, in the past I would rush a lot to try and get as much done as possible and get very stressed if I had a long day coming up knowing I would get really tired and not be able to cope, now i stay steady and calm and know that if I do not rush but just work through what i need to gently without being hard with my body then this will support me for the whole day i will not end up exhausted.

350. Julie thank you for your insights, it is a revelation in itself to know that it is a choice to go into tension around a situation, and not a ‘natural response to the situation’, as we normally assume. Understanding it as a choice changes everything and brings a whole new level of responsibility with it.

351. I like how you unravel how going into tension is self inflicted and blaming it on another is simply an excuse to not see and take the responsibility we have.

352. “Surrendering to our own grandness”. This is what is waiting when we let go of the hurts and ideals that define and shape who we are, it’s just we can’t feel the beauty of this grandness until we actually let go.

353. Great point Katie and when we compromise quality in order to complete things we discover that our self-satisfaction is short-lived – a bit of a fizzer!

354. I really appreciate reading Eleanor Roosevelt’s words of wisdom “No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” A timeless gift for all who have the good fortune to be presented with it.

355. “There’s no need for any picture of how that might look like, just a choice to stay with my body, breathe my breath and allow my innate, deep wisdom to guide me.” Reading this Julie, makes me realise how much I have lived my life from pictures of how I think it should be, in fact the whole of life being one big picture. But that picture is “out there”, separated from reality. We even have a saying “the bigger picture” to attempt to free ourselves from the individual perspective, but even that falls far short of what you are expressing. It may expand our vision laterally, but it does not allow us to feel the spherical nature of everything from deep inside us just being where we are in our bodies. This sense of being part of the All from a deep centre has no picture, it just is.

356. Julie, each time I read this, I see another layer. Today the line, ‘a love that only knows how to be itself’ resonated deeply as I can feel what is asked of us to allow our natural love out, no complications required (and any we create we can let go!). You remind me of the wealth of support I have to live this way and to deeply appreciate all the changes made which have brought this about – and most of all that it’s not about being perfect so any complications which I allow are just a way for me to go deeper with my responsibility and be even more the love I am. Thank you for writing this so supportive blog.

357. I always find that when I am controlling, time becomes a finite commodity that is always ‘running out’, whereas when I relinquish control and let life be, there is no race, only space!

     1. Beautifully said Matilda, it is as simple as that… when we control, we are in ‘time’ and therefore always in a tension to beat it, whereas when we surrender control, we find ourselves with space. Somehow, the latter is not only a far lovelier way to get through life, but I am also more efficient in it.

     2. Well said, Matilda, I have found exactly the same thing. I can often use ‘lack of time’ as an excuse for not finishing things. However, last weekend I committed to finishing an assignment, however long it took me, it was so beautiful as I ended up writing it so much faster than I ever imagined. I feel this was because I wasn’t focussed on time at all, I was prepared to stick with it until it was completed and time expanded around me.

     3. Matilda, I love this. i can feel this to be absolutely true for me too about control. I love how, when one person says the truth of how something is for them, it allows another to recognize and affirm the same truth in themselves. It is a very solid and confirming moment of our inner most selves. The utterance also brings clarity and insight. I have only had some moments so far experiencing ‘space’ and no race. When i have had those times, where i am checking the clock out of habit, I realize now that I can stop ‘panicking’ and just go with the flow of what I have felt to do and know it will be done as it needs to be. I am amazed at the seeming ‘expansion ‘ of time.

358. Well said, Katie. This focus on quantity, getting through our list is a great distraction to diminish the quality in which we do things. The reality is, as we tick things off there will always be other actions to take their place, we never get to the end of the list.

359. ‘…there is no focus on my quality of be-ing whatsoever and I have taken myself away from feeling my body’ sometimes we can feel like we are achieving so much but at what cost?

     1. Indeed, Michael, at what cost, not only to ourselves, but to all those around us. What are we reflecting? We are just confirming to others to do the same, that it’s all about how much you can do, rather than the truth, that it’s ALL about the quality in which we choose to do things.

360. Julie, your blog is filled with gems – lots of ‘ah’ moments for me to ponder on. Today this sentence stood out ‘Really my job is to keep my body in a constant balance and my body naturally knows how to do this if I have built a consistent steadiness within me.’ Constantly giving power first to our body by honouring it in this way is profound and beautifully simple.

361. I like the subtlety in this blog of exposing how often we let expectations from outside or within ourselves dictate us, and react with a certain mood or tension. When we get aware of this we can stay in the beauty of our presence.

362. What causes us to fight our own automatic pilot that runs our body autonomously… that thing between our ears! It ‘thinks’ it can improve what is simple and only muddies the water and makes everything complicated. Self-responsibility just feels simple and has never required anything other then letting it be to unfold.

363. “If I don’t need to control, but breathe my own breath and stay with what is being asked of me…my body can be left to just support me, naturally so, in an order that it knows right down to the tiniest cell, without complications or tension.” This is such a different and beautiful way of being that liberates us from the shoulds of life and allows us to surrender to what we sense is true.

     1. Yes a simplicity that makes way for innate knowing and sensing to come to the fore and be trusted more and more.

364. Beautiful Julie, it all comes down to trust our bodies and its connection with the universe by which it is connected with the universal laws and Ageless Wisdom that can be all at our disposal if we choose our bodies to be our guides. So why are we trying to be in control of our lives while everything is already there, living in us and ready for us to choose to live this inner connection once again? Are we avoiding to return to a responsible way of life we all have lived before and why are we so stubbornly holding on to that? Is it because of our pride and that we are ashamed to admit to ourselves that we ‘intelligent people’ have made the choice to step away from that heavenly life?

365. Julie- such a beautyfull, confirming blog surrendering control for self responsibility, where the body has the innate wisdom for us all to read and honour and every moment.

366. In my mind I can come from one point to another and so on…endless. And it can look like it makes sense, but in truth it does not. I just try to control or find out how to control. By letting go of thinking, but feel my body and where I am in presence, I surrender to a bigger picture to a plan that is there for all of us to connect to and this for me feels very beholding. Better than any control I could create. It is the feeling of being connected to God and the Universe. It is like a true home.

     1. Sandra I feel in surrendering to the bigger picture we are rendering the chatter of the mind naught, which allows our connection to our own inner wisdom to flow, and I love the beholding feeling that encircles me, a true home as you say… Love it!

367. Thank you Julie for so honestly sharing your experience – it will help many of us to increase our awareness of the affects of our choice to control or surrender. The body will tell us if we care to listen but so often we prefer to stay on our momentum to avoid having to take responsibility. Once we realize, as you did, that “it is absolutely my choice to choose to go into tension or not” then we can no longer blame anything for making us tense. We then need to look at what we are doing to cause that.

     1. This blog will certainly endure Sandra as a great support for so many on our path of return to whom we really are. I will re read often!

368. Thank you, Julie, I can really relate to the drive and hardness when we go into ‘should do’s and ‘ought do’s. It really is irresponsible to not consider the effect on our physicality by forcing it into this false way of being, when our natural state is harmonious and flowing.

     1. Yes agreed Janet, and not forgetting the flow on effect on everyone else around us too… an aspect of responsibility to bring all of ourselves to everything we do. This of course means the depth and grandness of love we are… why would we want to deny others a reflection of that at every opportunity anyway!

369. ‘I can still stay with myself, feel how lovely I am in my body and do what needs to be done from that steadiness.’ I’m still learning this one but the more I have increased the amount of responsibility I have in life the more I realise my responsibility to ensure that I fulfill this from this point of stillness and steadiness.

     1. Yes, I too am still practising this one Michael. Every day there will be a moment where I need to reclaim my love and redirect what I am choosing. I am finding that just focussing on my body and how gorgeous it feels, snaps me out of anything that may be trying to edge its way in. And what a beautiful moment it is, feeling that love that never wavers. The other then just doesn’t get a look in.

370. Thank you Julie for a beautifully inspiring article, I know I use control as a way of being safe, but safe from what. I love these words ” When I let go of control and surrender, what transpires is the most beautiful dance and flow within me that feels spacious, alive and full of love; a love that only knows how to be itself.”

371. This is a timely and very cool blog Julie.”Really my job is to keep my body in a constant balance” and “In not labelling it, I am choosing to be fully responsible for myself in that moment and then it is just something that I need to complete and I don’t need to judge it in any way.” I also attend University and so often have experienced a lack of commitment to holding myself and working. Instead, it has been about trying to get through something with reaction, to get to relief. This I have recognised is a form of irresponsibility, unsteadiness and is definitely not bringing ‘me’ to the situation. I have however experienced what you have written here; that when we are with ourselves and simply committed to what there is to be done, it can be completed with no change to our be-ing…simply a confirmation…”then everyone gets a woman who is the real me as absolute love in motion.” – Just gorgeous, and yes – what does humanity get? This or an anxious, racy and dis-connected person? The former sounds much grander, and is our no.1 responsibility.

     1. Yes Ariane, it is our only responsibility to shine our light to the best of our ability in all that we are and do.

        1. This truth is so powerful and gives me ALL I need to know if I allow myself to feel it in full Nico. My ‘only responsibility’ is to be myself in full. Truly liberating and inspirational – a wonderful foundation to come back to every day!

372. This blog I can really relate to Julie and I especially like this comment “When I let go of control and surrender, what transpire is the most beautiful dance and flow within me that fees spacious alive and full of love, a love that only knows how to be itself.”

373. Thank you for your very powerful and inspiring blog Julie – full to the brim with pearls of wisdom.

374. ‘…this situation is not asking me to change myself at all, nor is it asking me to go into anxiety: that is my choice..’ This is an enormous revelation Julie. It’s one of those things that makes perfect sense and that I’ve thought about often but haven’t truly allowed myself to feel into and accept as a whole. I know it’s my choice to choose anxiety or stillness, but there’s a part of me still holding on to what is familiar. I don’t like the feeling, but it’s comfortable to a degree. In saying that, you writing about it now is bringing it to my attention more so, which is awesome.

375. ‘…there is my need for control and a lack of self-responsibility’. You’ve described exactly how I play so many situations out Julie. Thank you for bringing them further to my attention!

376. I relate and have resembled what you share Julie about going into to control about what task is before me. Some things can almost feel crippling the tension is so tight. I have proven many times that this tension is the antithesis of what is truly needed in the moment. Its quite bizarre to develop an action to attempt a task that is the exact opposite of what will truly support the body to work through something. Observation with gentleness, tenderness and surrender is what I’ve discovered allows the tension to start to settle and open up for a deeper surrender to the space that is with-in. Then things feel simpler and start to flow. A friend also reminded me how important our breath is in these moments.

377. The opening paragraphs on the tension you feel in your body because of your doing things in a way so you can move on to the next thing are so relevant for me. I know I do this, but reading your words brought it to another level for me and I realised how much it affects my entire body and the quality in which I do things. The focus is on achieving something and getting a lot done. There is no focus on the quality in which I do it, or in me being all of me while I do it.

     1. Yes nikkimckee, we have been tricked into thinking that it’s all about the doing and getting as much done as we can. I know I am not alone if I say, our body absolutely does not like this choice as our body can only move in a way that does not confirm the love we are when we choose results over true loving quality.

        1. Yes, the body is quite clear about this. When I move in a way that flows with life and is open to what life presents my body feels quite different than when I am trying to get things done.

378. Your sharing is SO relatable Julie and I loved this line, ‘My body is here to support me through my life and to keep me functioning beautifully for the purpose I was made for, and that is to bring love to humanity.’ Pure gold and a gift to express so simply the meaning of life!! Thank you!

379. The vital and crucial importance of the connection with our body, explained and shared in just one sentence: “Lately I am noticing that when there is something that needs to be resolved and I don’t feel in control of the outcome, I start to harden in my body and become stressed.”. It is revealing how our body responds when we’re choosing to go for something outside of our body. Some kind of drive. Truly Amazing and remarkable how our body is actually supporting us all day, all life long with instant messages when we deviate from ourselves. Wow, how much appreciation does our body deserve? And how much do we appreciate our body? Well, the honest answer is that I care a lot of my body and in that way I appreciate my body. But taking a moment to appreciate me on an every day basis is something still needed.

380. I love this quote ‘No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” it is a great reminder to ask myself in any moment when my body is tensing up “what and why am I choosing this response?”

     1. I agree, Nicole, in fact, whenever I can feel myself reacting to anything, it’s an awesome opportunity for me to stop and feel into what’s really going on. I’ve been doing this a lot at work lately and have been quite shocked at how exposing it is. The more honesty I allow the more I am able to sweep away what doesn’t belong, without judgment, rather with joy to have had the opportunity to spring clean a little deeper.

        1. I have had a similar experience Alison, sometimes can feel tension in my body before I walk into a situation, which has made me stop and question what quality am i bringing to the situation.

     2. A great question to ask yourself nicolesjardin, because when we do see the energy for what it is, we can be quite playful with our thoughts and say, “really, your trying to take me there, I don’t think so, there’s no love where your trying to take me”.

381. Anxiety is definitely a choice and it affects my body and my voice – both go hard. Learning to feel my body helps me to identify odd little behaviours that are unnecessary – chewing the inside of my mouth when I’m walking home from work, tightening my jaw in a determined way when I’m cutting up food, the edge in my voice as I speak to a friend on the phone. When I allow myself to relax and expand instead of contract, these things automatically drop away.

     1. Yes Carmel, it just goes to show how we are always being called back to our natural state of harmony and grace and as soon as we reconnect to the body we can easily let go of tension. The choice is ours whether we connect or distract ourselves away from feeling what we are doing to ourselves.

        1. Yes, Sandra, it makes such a difference when we realise that anxiety is a choice not a given

     2. Attention to detail and self-care have both been very revealing and supportive for me too, Carmel. Spotting those tiny signs that I am carrying stress or anxiousness in my body. I chew the inside of my mouth too!

382. It is fantastic that you notice the hardness in the body Julie, when the control feeling happens, that’s a great marker. We so easily get caught up in ‘doing’ rather than focus on the quality and let it flow. I have been starting to trust more and let things infold and have been surprised how things do take care of themselves.

383. Yes Katie, it can be this way, when the push to complete is the over-riding driver, we lose so much more on the way. Quality is much more important: how we do what we do as we carry out each task. It’s become clear to me that when I feel tense in my body, quality is compromised and if I don’t stop to re-balance myself, the tension deepens and can lead to anxiety. I’m learning the importance of self awareness, stopping to make different choices to bring myself back.

384. ‘when there is something that needs to be resolved and I don’t feel in control of the outcome, I start to harden in my body and become stressed.’ …. Yes, yes and yes. I can so relate to what you’re saying here Julie. I feel my body harden and the anxiousness starts as my mind takes me down a series of rabbit warrens pondering on possible outcomes. The control I feel is for my own protection, however, as you share, when we are in this mode, we’re not allowing our bodies to be our natural loving selves. Instead, it feels like being in a straight jacket and, whether we like it or not, it is then also affecting us in every single moment, while we allow the control, or anxiousness from not being in control, to run us.

385. Katie I agree with your sharing and have experienced much tension in wanting to get things done or completed. I have often let quality go out through the window and exhausted myself in the process. When I choose quality over and above what is to be done, my body responds by feeling more vital, well and energised. My learning is to make this quality my constant and to keep coming back to what I know truly supports my wellbeing.

     1. Yeah, it’s tricky, hey? I think I’m involved in something really important that serves many and at the same time I forget to care for myself and lose myself, lose quality, even lose serving that way.

386. ” When I let go of control and surrender, what transpires is the most beautiful dance and flow within me that feels spacious, alive and full of love; a love that only knows how to be itself.” In the past when I have experienced this feeling after a time I can start to bring the need to control back in but I am learning that as I accept myself in all the wonder I am and choose this quality, letting go becomes easier. Thank you Julie for an inspiring read.

387. Thank you for sharing your realisations Julie – this is amazing psychology, and your honesty, self-responsibility are most inspiring.

388. it is a great “aha” and self-empowering moment indeed when we realize that we have a choice to how we respond to any situation.

     1. Yes Alexandra, you are spot on… we do have a choice in our response to any situation… and it is amazing how often we choose to react, rather than respond in a way that allows resolution

     2. Isn’t it Alexandra. Knowing we have a choice to how we respond to situations, opens us up to the power of our love and choosing to be present with that love, then we can never feel a victim as we cannot help but feel our power when we hold ourselves in this way.

389. ‘if I take all of me to everything that I do (no perfection of course), then everyone gets a woman who is the real me as absolute love in motion’… totally agree (apart from the woman part!) – the key difference is an acceptance of where I am at in a given situation. If I have not lived the wisdom to know the answer that has to be OK, and then I can allow the space to grow into it, just being me as I am.

     1. ‘If I have not lived the wisdom to know the answer that has to be OK, and then I can allow the space to grow into it, just being me as I am.’ …. awesome point, Simon. As soon as we start to judge ourselves by allowing expectations, we’re lost. We immediately shut down our opportunity to learn and grow. Accepting where we are at should never be a ‘disappointment’, rather, the opposite, it’s an opportunity for us to appreciate how far we have traveled and how much divinity we are already sharing, this inspires us to continue the evolution, rather than shutting ourselves down.

        1. Acceptance is huge Alison – it’s the big hurdle that has to be traversed before we can grow and evolve. I feel moments where I do accept a new level of understanding as this huge amount of space that opens up inside me… no longer locked up, but ready to feel something new and fresh – the real me that has always been there waiting!

390. As I’ve got older (and wiser) I’ve found it so refreshing to not have to know, but allow. The difference when faced with the next new client, or project, or situation, is immeasurable. Space opens up and the new thing unpacks itself in its own time, rather than me freaking out because I don’t know exactly what I am doing. It shows me the power of staying with my being!

     1. “As I’ve got older (and wiser) I’ve found it so refreshing to not have to know, but allow.” It is about allowing, when we do this we can sense and feel we do not need to know or control anything. Trusting allows the flow.

        1. Yes indeed Amita, allowing and trusting is a big one. But, as you say, there is then a flow to life and events and people constellation to support what is needed.

        2. It reminds us that we are part of something so much bigger than the little world we so desperately try to control!

     2. ‘Space opens up and the new thing unpacks itself in its own time, rather than me freaking out because I don’t know exactly what I am doing. It shows me the power of staying with my being!’ …. thank you Simon – this is gorgeous and very inspiring. The more I allow the trust in myself, surrendering to my body, the more access I have to the infinite wisdom that surrounds me.

        1. Great point Alison… the next step in any situation is always right there for us, its just a question of whether we are open to it, or stressed and shut down to it.

391. “No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” This is such a great quote. In fact no one can make you feel anything without your consent.

     1. Spot in Jonathon!

     2. Yes great point Jonathan… responsibility for everything we experience in life is 101 when it comes to evolving and not remaining as victim to whatever life appears to have brought our way.

392. Is not the need to control… only hiding our lack of self-responsibility? The tighter we try on hold on to something increases its fragility.

393. “When I let go of control and surrender, what transpires is the most beautiful dance and flow within me that feels spacious, alive and full of love; a love that only knows how to be itself”, it’s simply not possible to read that line and not repeat it.

394. Julie, you have so astutely brought up the notion of right or wrong, good or bad, easy or difficult. How often do our bodies go into reaction just at the thought of doing something! I used to eat my way through the kitchen cupboards, simply at the thought of doing my homework! I labelled it as something that I didn’t want to do and so even before doing it, I went into reaction. The same thing still happens with the thought of cleaning the bathroom tiles! Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!

     1. It is interesting how the thoughts of not wanting to do something before we have even started can cause such conflict within our bodies. I have had years of putting things off with the notion that I won’t be able to do whatever it is, only to find that when I do whatever I am avoiding, not only am I capable but it is a lot easier than I had previously imagined.

        1. Spot on Julie, we have an image of ourselves that is fed to us, that is entirely the opposite to the truth, and mostly we believe it. I too have thought myself not capable of doing many things only to realise that I can do anything I put my hand to if I give myself the space to learn what is needed to get the job done.

        2. It is interesting how thoughts from a judgement around doing something, can really run us. When we don’t categorise or judge something and put it into a box, we are left to feel the truth of us. I’ts so fun to call out the spirit in this way and great at those times to appreciate and confirm our love as having the last say.

395. “If I don’t need to control, but breathe my own breath and stay with what is being asked of me (and don’t label it as right or wrong, good or bad, or make it into something difficult or complicated), my body can be left to just support me, naturally so, in an order that it knows right down to the tiniest cell, without complications or tension”, this paragraph speaks volumes but in short it asks me to trust, surrender and let go. So what I have to do in order to get to that point is to take responsibility for how I am feeling and by doing so I shall be able to prise my fingers off everything and everyone. True freedom beckons.

     1. How self-abusive leading to a false image that is portrayed when I am controlling and feeling less than. It is like a disease. Thank you Julie and Alexis for the exquisite way in which you have both expressed. They have been stop moments for me.

     2. Alexis, I love how you highlight how abusive and invasive control is to another … ‘I shall be able to prise my fingers off everything and everyone’

396. ‘This need to control is something that I convince myself I have to do and that is not actually a truth – it is a pressure that I choose to place onto myself to divert me from the fact that I am not choosing loving self-responsibility in that moment’. Julie I have been so controlling for so long that it got to feel like a second skin. It is only now that I am getting to feel that it’s not a second skin at all, it’s simply a choice that I have repeatedly chosen.

     1. Beautifully said Alexis, the truth behind our choice to be in tension as a diversion to avoid self-responsibility is something most would relate to, if they were honest enough. Seeing it as just a repeated pattern however, rather than personalising the trait as your own, is also part of the key to re-imprinting it as a response to the way things are.

397. It is fascinating how much we try to control life and make it fit a ‘perfect’ picture. But life, well nothing, can ever live up to it, so we are setting ourselves up to be disappointed and to fail. We also do not get to experience the joy of the unexpected – so often what we do not expect is so much greater or grander than we could ever have imagined if only we surrender and allow what is there to be there.

     1. Perfect James… there is no way we can control everything all the time (that is exhausting), and that just shuts down our creativity and access to the magic of being open to the world and all its surprises.

     2. Well said James. If we have expectations of what life ‘should’ look like, then we will always be disappointed in one way or another as perfection is impossible. We miss out on a lot if we try to ‘control’ everything instead of letting it happen as it needs to happen, and it also means we are constantly worrying about the outside world/other people instead of looking after ourselves and ensuring that we are all the love we can be with everyone around us.

        1. Nicely put Susie. It’s amazing how much control really just destroys us more than anything else.

        2. So true Susie…control is a great distraction – an avoidance of looking after ourselves, looking at our choices – an irresponsible way of living in fact.

        3. Will also miss out on the opportunity to see the flow of life and all that it offers. We definitely play our part, but with no pictures of how the world should be, the magic can happen.

        4. Yes, Susie, and where do these expectations come from – they come from outside of our selves, from us comparing, judging, seeing how things are on the outside. Why would I choose to put more value on what I see on the outside compared to the glorious wisdom I hold inside – my body never stops communicating with me, I’m the one who chooses to stop listening.

        5. Very well said Alison; ‘I’m the one who chooses to stop listening.’ We can get quite frustrated, annoyed or angry at our bodies for reacting to our choices, such as when we bloat, feel exhausted, injure ourselves or fall ill, but as you said the body hasn’t actually reacted in any way shape or form, it has kept sending us messages and it is US who have chosen to stop listening.

        6. The pictures and images we have about life effectively set us up to fail and to be disappointed. They are exhausting as well as need constant fueling, yet they can never be achieved and or if they are or we come close to them we find they are not fulfilling enough so we want more. It is a vicious cycle we can get ourselves into – one which is void of any true love. The more see that we are already love and our way is simply a return back to the love we are, ie. not going anywhere, the more life will make sense. Huge thanks to Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine for showing me the truth of this for I would not be anywhere near where I am today without them.

        7. Absolutely James, well put – we are spending SO much time and putting SO much energy into trying to achieve our expectations and images that we keep in our heads, that we forget all about things like building truly supportive relationships and taking care of our bodies. Relationships are a great example of how we do this – if both parties are trying to measure the relationship against an image or expectation, then achieving this ‘perfection’ or picture is ranked much higher than supporting or truly loving one another.

        8. Such a great point Susie and one of the reasons why so many relationships fail. We want our partners to live up to the ideals or beliefs we have about them and if they do not somehow we see them as failures instead of appreciating them for the amazing beings that they are. This includes friends and families as well. The more we can allow people to simply be themselves along with ourselves without any of the images about how life should be like the more enjoyable it will be – It certainly is for me!

     3. That is the key to surrender and allow what needs to release. This will then get rid of the control aspect as the surrender will allow the flow. Then there is no perfect image of life as every moment becomes magical.

        1. Second time I have read the word surrender! I was just reading something else on another site .. maybe it is time to surrender deeper within my body and to the Love within I know.

        2. I love how the more I let go of trying to control life and make it look a certain way the more magical life becomes. To my mind does not make sense but to my body it makes perfect sense! It is also a lot less exhausting as I no longer am constantly driving to be something or someone I am not.

     4. Beautifully said James. To allow oursleves to open up to what is needed rather than trying to take control of any given situation, what we are given is pure magic. I experienced this several times just this weekend, by allowing myself to say yes to my first impulse. What I received as a result was what I can only describe as the magic of God in nature and in deepening relationships, confirming that what I had chosen was confirming who I am and what I bring. The more we do this, the more the control that is held in the body is able to drop away.

        1. That is great Sandra, and the more we let go of the control the more fluid our movements become. I have also found I hold a lot less tension in my body now than I used to and am far less up tight about things!

     5. So true James “often what we do not expect is so much greater or grander than we could ever have imagined if only we surrender and allow what is there to be there”. When we are open and flowing with life there is so much magic, inspiration and learning, yet when focus on getting a ‘perfect’ picture and controlling it all , we end up at best reducing it all to our imagination, and always missing out on recognising and appreciating the amazing gifts that life naturally offers.

        1. And wow there certainly are some amazing gifts on offer. Surrendering takes away all the pressure of life to try to be something. After all, we are returning back to love, so what can be more successful than being more love?

     6. Yes, it is not harmonious, to put it lightly.

     7. So true James, I find that often my expectations fall immensely short of the magic of the unexpected or unknown. Learning to let go of what I think life should be has been one of the toughest, yet most rewarding choices I have made.

        1. I know Rowena, it is crazy how one of the simplest things to do can be one of the most challenging. Accepting we have it all, quite literally, at our finger tips without having to do anything blows the whole education system and the way we were brought up out of the water.

     8. I agree, James, and where do these pictures come from. Perfect picture implies there is only one result that will fit, however, this can never be as we are changing and evolving all of the time, nothing stays still. How can I possibly know how my life should be when I don’t even know how truly amazing I am? To allow ourselves to be open to the divinity of life feels so amazing. I definitely have my training wheels on, but I am a very willing participant.

     9. “We also do not get to experience the joy of the unexpected – so often what we do not expect is so much greater or grander than we could ever have imagined if only we surrender and allow what is there to be there.” Beautifully expressed James – love it.

     10. “often what we do not expect is so much greater or grander than we could ever have imagined if only we surrender and allow what is there to be there” …. it’s crazy to even consider limiting our selves to our own expectations over the divinity of the universe.

         1. It sure is Alison, yet so many of us do just that. Why? Because it is known, so often we will settle for less out of comfort rather than saying ok bring it on, show me everything there is to see.

     11. Surrender is absolutely the key. It is not possible to control, blame or live to pictures when we deeply surrender to the Love we are.

         1. Surrender is absolutely the key, great words of wisdom here Deborah, when we surrender to our own love, everything opens up and anything is possible.

         2. I agree Deborah, surrendering to love is the key. Far from it being a weakness as I was brought up to believe surrender to be it is actually a deeply powerful way of coming back and confirming myself and all that I bring.

         3. Yes this is so true. We have been sold a lie to believe surrendering is weak when to surrender is our greatest strength, returning us to the All that we are.

         4. It sure is Deborah, we are Sons of God, vessels for the divine and the more we surrender to this fact the more love can pour through us and so touch many more people.

     12. Beautifully said James, without awareness of the whole, the ‘controlling picture’ that we hold on to and desire does not allow any space for the amazing possibilities there are in life.

         1. Thank you Jenny, the less I have a picture of how I want life to be the more amazing my life becomes. Using love as a guide and a marker anything is possible.

     13. Surrender is the key, James. Takes control out of the equation, opening us up to whatever comes our way and whatever is needed. We are so much more than the controlling behaviour we have been caught up in for so long.

         1. Totally Robyn. I have found when I try to control or when others do, it is because we have a picture of what we think/want it to look like and if it is going to be any different it puts us out of our comfort zone. But what if ‘being different’ is actually far greater than the picture we have and want it to be!

         2. So true, James. Trying to fit our lives into pictures is hard work and takes a bit of an army to control all the different variables involved to make it all fit. It’s exhausting really and a path paved with hurt and reactions because the pictures are not reality so attempting to make them reality is a bit of a moot point! Living a far greater life than unrealistic pictures feels like an amazing option.

         3. It sure is an amazing option and something we should all try, we then get to be surprised by unexpected things as well and, at least in my experience so far, surpass all pre-conceived expectations.

         4. That is so beautiful James. I too experience this when I let go of having to have things a certain way. It really is a great way to live.

398. There are many ways we are diverted from living our souls light, and how it’s our responsibility to read when there is a diversion in front of our path, then of course take responsibility to walk the path to soul. This is a well spotted diversion Julie, control is a road I seem to choose also.

     1. Me too Lola, control is something I feel I’ve lived with for a very long time. It’s exhausting, very limiting and very unpleasant for those on the receiving end. There will always be distractions to take us away from living the fullness of who we are, I feel it’s up to us to take responsibility and be discerning, knowing that everything is energy first. The more we choose love and truth and live from this place, the more this will feed us back and gradually we can allow ourselves to be rid of the old patterns that do not serve. Allowing ourselves to be open, without expectations, but always being discerning.

399. Great sharing Julie, it’s our pinning of the spirit that frees us from it grip.

     1. The spirit is me. Part of the responsibility is to admit that it’s a part of me that chooses not to be responsible.

        1. Good point Felix, it’s easy to make the spirit the scapegoat and still not admit “that it’s a part of me that chooses not to be responsible.”

        2. Gosh Felix, this responsibility thing leaves no stone unturned!

        3. Spot on Felix, the spirit is a part of me, a part that struggles to take responsibility. I like to see this part of myself sometimes as a small child that is with me 24/7 and at times (or really most of the time) this small child can kick and scream or drag its feet or make a scene or in general be difficult about something, lack cooperation. And so it is about laying the boundary and holding myself deeply with care and love and understanding and checking my source of energy – what source feeds me in full, all of me OR what feeds the tantrums, the lack of cooperation. But in the end these tantrums and lack of cooperation are my choice to indulge in or NOT.

        4. It is a part of us Felix. It is easy to see it as separate… but what part of us is seeing it this way???!!

        5. Great call Felix, to think otherwise is total arrogance.

     2. Exactly. Call the spirit out and come back to the love we are, then the spirit has nowhere to go.

     3. So very true lola21213, when we nominate what we have chosen to go into and claim ourselves back, the gap between spirit and soul diminishes as there is more love to support us.

400. All of what we do to our bodies is a choice; from what food we eat, what we drink, how hard we train or if we go into anger, tension, frustration or control. We can choose these things at the expense of our bodies or carry out the same tasks more gently and with love, but whatever the choice, it is still a choice.

     1. And what a difference our choice can make to the way we feel.

        1. Absolutely Abby – these simple choices can make ALL the difference to our lives!

        2. Our choice to be loving, or even to just be ourselves with whatever we do in any day transforms our experience of life, and creates a point of inspiration for everyone we meet.

     2. Hear, hear Kev….always a choice.

     3. Yes, it is always a choice, something we can’t hear often enough.

     4. The amazing, surprising thing is that taking care of our body has far more benefits than we may think for our well-being, well beyond the obvious.

        1. Very true, Christoph, which makes it even more shocking when we look at, possible the biggest ‘self inflicted’ cause of death in our world right now – diabetes. Diabetes Type 2 is absolutely sky rocketing all over the world as we use food to numb how we’re feeling to the point that it’s slowly killing us.

        2. Yes Christoph, choosing to self care is a very simple but very important choice to keep us connected to our bodies’ inner radars that tell us where we are at.

401. Love this sentence Julie “There’s no need for any picture of how that might look like, just a choice to stay with my body, breathe my breath and allow my innate, deep wisdom to guide me.” It really is that simple but so often as you have identified, we want to control and manipulate because we don’t want to take responsibility and follow what our bodies are telling us. It is an awesome moment when we finally surrender and allow our bodies to guide us. These days I am finding that somehow my body has a strong inkling of what the future holds because it guides me to do things that in the moment don’t always seem logical, but with hindsight were exactly the right thing to do. The moment we choose to align to our inner wisdom, then life does become spacious and flowing, especially in the challenging moments when the temptation is to revert to our stress and anxiety default programme. It is possible, and your article proves this, to bring all of who we are to every situation, no lessening, compromising, stress or worry required and achieve miracles on the way!

     1. I feel we may also want to control for our own protection, we may struggle to trust that outcomes will be ok if we just allow things to unfold. However, the reality is that things will be the way they are meant to be, we may not like the outcome, in which case there is probably a lot for us to learn and take away from the situation. I feel sometimes things happen to ‘upset’ us and take us away from ourselves, if we give in and allow the ill energy to alter us we are choosing that over our own divinity. The test is to acknowledge what is going on without giving in to the control or anxiousness, rather, to choose to stay with and claim our power and glory and that is what will support us and guide us through.

        1. Well said and I agree with everything you have shared Alison and particularly love your last sentence “The test is to acknowledge what is going on without giving in to the control or anxiousness, rather, to choose to stay with and claim our power and glory and that is what will support us and guide us through.”

     2. What you offer Rowena is that inner control is as much an illusion as outer control. We can’t control the way our blood pumps, or the way our hair grows, but we can bring self-care and self-love as essential ingredients and then we influence both our internal and external world.

402. I can relate to what you say here Julie “Through this whole learning and unfolding of responsibility and where I sit within it, I can say in all absoluteness I am so much more than my mind will allow me to know and my responsibility is to own this truth and live it as completely as I can in any given moment.” We can get so locked up in our minds and believe that what they are telling us is the truth, when in fact it is our body that is the marker of all truth. It is our minds that wants to control our body, and only by taking the responsibility of owning what we know to be true and living it to our greatest ability will we change the way we have been controlled by our minds for so long.

     1. Well said, Sandra …. I am learning to trust in myself, in the wisdom of my body and to appreciate that it’s where I am safe, a place of love and truth that is always with me.

        1. Yes Alison. That love and wisdom is always with us and always has been in our bodies. Its just that we chose to disconnect from it and forgot that it was there. To have been able to reconnect to it is probably the most precious gift we have been given this lifetime, thanks to the amazing work of Serge Benhayon and the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom.

        2. True Alison, “learning to trust in myself” gives us a secure foundation which cannot be shaken. We only get an illusion of safety when we think we are in control of our situation for we are really being manipulated like puppets and we are in turn manipulating and creating a self-centred scene around us and playing to an audience. Real security is to listen to the body and read the situation and be guided by this wisdom. When we do this everything flows harmoniously for all concerned and even if there appears to be a roadblock, if we were to look down from above, we would see that these repairs were necessary before we can continue our journey. With trust and surrender we allow our journey to unfold as it will.

        3. ‘We only get an illusion of safety when we think we are in control of our situation for we are really being manipulated like puppets ‘ …. this is so true, Sandra. When we try to control situations, we are actually cutting ourselves off from the wisdom of our bodies and the ‘divine plan’. Surrendering to our bodies and allowing things to constellate around us is so much more expansive and evolutionary. It may be very uncomfortable as it’s certainly not a place I have allowed myself to be for a very long time, but I would choose this any day over going around and around in tiny circles through choosing to try and control, when in fact I am controlling nothing, rather I am opening myself up to being controlled. I clearly have so much to learn in life and choosing control is blinding me to all the wisdom that surrounds me each and every day.

     2. Our body is the one thing that our choices have an instant affect and command over. It is there that our responsibility begins and ends. Far from diminishing our responsibility, it focuses it in on the place where it truly lies, and removes it from the places where our mind likes to think that are its business, which are not.

        1. Instead of controlling everything and everyone around us, it is indeed all about the focus solely on our body. How loving -or not loving – are the choices we make? And how willing are we to feel the after-effects? It is all about responsibility, not controll.

        2. Yes, and as you say, the willingness to feel what is there to be felt.

     3. Great point you are raising Sandra, we are so convinced that we are our thoughts – however that could not be further from the truth as our thoughts entirely depend on how we move our bodies. It is something worth experimenting with, if you want to change your thoughts to try a different posture and the way you move.

        1. This is something that I am working with Judith, and it is amazing how my thoughts change positively so, when I choose to move my body in a way that supports it/me rather than overriding what it wants to do with my mind.

403. Control and blame…. big topics that most of us have been affected by and indulged in. It’s really wonderful to read of somebody else’s experience of this.

     1. They are huge. Something we engage in to not feel, to avoid responsibility and surrendering to the trust of our inner heart.

        1. Spot on Michelle and Johanna. And in this blog Julie presents how we really do have a choice in the matter – it is up to us how we want to perceive things, how we want to live the day. Essentially we have the choice of the source of energy that we can tap into – one source of energy is our natural way of being that knows how to go about things naturally so, whilst the other source of energy is one that offers anxiety and insecurity and hence a need to control everything around us. The choice is of course ours. What we don’t like is to hear that the choice lies in our hands, because then we realise the part we play in being responsible for how we experience and live our day. This is a big pill to swallow – the pill that says “I make my day what it is and I have the choice always to change this at any time”. In my own experience, I can recognise how I am often running on a default program of anxiety where it is my choice to tap into this energy as a way to get through my day. However, with this awareness, I now have a choice in the matter and know that I can choose to come back to my natural source of energy and that I don’t have to choose the anxiousness. How empowering is this to recognise such a simple thing – this does not mean it is always easy to swap energy sources when the default program has been running for so long, but this is the beginning of true change.

     2. In leadership control is often seen as essential, for example that you can martial a team of people in the same direction, but as any leader worth their muster will tell you, controlling people isn’t leading them, and what is instead required is clarity and inspiration.

        1. What a difference it will be in organisation and teamwork, if control were dropped and all leaders were to choose for clarity and inspiration.

        2. So true. True leadership is never felt through control and manipulation. A true leader is inspiring when they have the grace and wisdom to hold all equally.

        3. I can so relate to everything yourve written here Julie – I have allowed the control to take over forgetting there is actually so much amazingness waiting to happen should I just surrender my mind and let my body tell me what is needed and how things are to be done – Co- creation is so much fun!

        4. I love what yourve shared here Heather – so true

        5. I love what yourve shared here Henrietta and Heather – Clarity inspires true choice.

        6. I agree Heather a true leader inspires others by their livingness and people naturally want to follow as they see in them the real deal.

        7. Very true Heather, control is control, not leadership.

        8. So true Heather, when I feel a leader is being pushy or has a personal agenda that they want filled I go into resistance and resentment. But if I feel the leader is living and presenting truth I am willingly walking by their side and will do whatever needs to be done – no force required.

404. Wow Julie, this is an incredibly insightful sharing on Control vs Self responsibility. I recognise myself in a lot of what you share “nothing has to change within me; I can still stay with myself, feel how lovely I am in my body and do what needs to be done from that steadiness.” Sometimes I feel life is about one hurdle after another of my own making, all connected to my need to feel safe and not under pressure or in fear of making a mistake! Much food for thought Julie, thank you I shall return to this blog again.

     1. I agree Roslyn Mahony, Julie’s sharing is incredibly insightful and inspirational and I too can connect to so much of what she has so sensitively expressed from a growing relationship with herself. I love this!

     2. I can also relate to Julie and to what you’ve shared here Robyn. That fear of making a mistake and the need to always be distracted by the pressure, all to avoid just be the simple and lovely me.

     3. Our steadiness and loveliness when we are connected to it absolutely has the power to guide us through and be in any situation or moment life brings to us.

405. Yes Doug, the ploys we have… we often cannot see them until truth is presented to us in one form or another. By choosing to be more responsible, we place ourselves in a position to be able to see them.

406. As I was reading Julie, I was reminded of a young sapling that bends in the wind, yet remains very steady and strong on the inside because of the rich and fertile soil that it is grounded in. If it were dry, parched and hard ground, the sampling would bend and break at the smallest breath of wind…

     1. Saplings are amazingly strong, they can be trodden on and still bounce back.

        1. I love this analogy too! If there is a willingness to look at our choices and take responsibility for them it is amazing what we can bounce back from!

        2. Yes they are, all of which comes from the inside, an inner strength that reflects how well they are nourished and nurtured

     2. I absolutely love this analogy Sara, so very true.

        1. I agree, Julie, it’s a very beautiful analogy and an awesome reminder that the more we ‘feed ourselves back’ with love, the stronger and more resilient we are.

407. “No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Such a great quote and oh so true!

     1. Yes a classic truth, and applicable to any emotion or issue we may experience…they are all our own choice.

        1. This is true because we give our power away in that moment and then their is no self confidence.

        2. And many people are not willing to digest this fact. In my experience this can turn people off the teachings of Universal Medicine.

        3. Very true Rosanna, could we say that if we are hurt by something or someone, we would not feel the hurt unless there was some part of us that felt it there may be some truth in what was done or said. It’s our choice when we allow things to affect us.

     2. It is a great quote and relevant to many things – bullying, abuse, and as Rosanna says any emotion we feel. We can either take things like water off a ducks back or we can choose to go into them and take them on.

     3. This is so true. It is no different to someone saying they don’t like the dress I am wearing when I absolutely love it and feel amazing. Do we let others dictate how we feel and/or consent to taking on their opinion or do we stay true to our own inner knowing and feeling. I prefer the latter!

        1. As we surrender to ourselves, love ourselves more, our love and understanding of others grows, and comments that may be made towards us can be understood for the energy/emotion they hold, and also reveals why they were said to us e.g.. lack of confidence or hurt in the speaker. And with this understanding we can see the situation for what is truly is, and the person for who they truly are.

        2. Yes Johanna, that’s what we are faced with isn’t it, the choice to stay with who we know ourselves to be in the body without doubt, or be swayed by another’s words coming at us and accept that as us. My money is on my body too.

     4. That sentence flies in the face of our perceived victim hood, and the justification we so often use against those whom we see as having wronged us.

        1. Which is a great definition for irresponsibility Naren.

     5. Michelle it is very true that ‘No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent’ and yet most of the bickering that goes on at work and in friendship circles centres around people blaming one another for how they feel, as in ‘can you believe that she said….’, ‘unbelievable isn’t it that he did………’ by this time we have tipped into whatever behaviour we have tipped into and no one knows where the starting point is anymore. But, the truth is the starting point is always with us. We are the start and the finish of everything.

        1. Well said Alexis, “the truth is the starting point is always with us. We are the start and the finish of everything.” This is spot on. All our choices, no matter how small, lead us to where we are and what goes on around us. Therefore we have the choice to get caught up in other peoples stuff and start blaming or ridiculing others, or not. By not engaging in this way we are not giving energy to something that is holding us in that control, but taking responsibility for what we truly know and who we are, which ultimately benefits everyone.

        2. That last statement you make here Alexis has so much power and truth. “We are the start and finish of everything”. To play the victim of circumstance is just that – a game of playing small.

     6. We could expand this and say “No one can make you feel anything without your consent.”

        1. Yes, I agree Melinda.

     7. Yes, I hadn’t heard this quote before but how true it is!

408. Well said Adam, letting go of those pictures we hold in life creates space for us to accept more of who we are.

     1. That is such a simple statement Francisco but feel it would be so powerful when truly embodied and lived.

409. Stress and anxiety actually take us away from a state of being that connects us to everything that we need to know in that moment.

410. I am learning to live life without the pictures of what I think I want driving my next move, responding instead to the pulse of the divine plan and what is needed.

411. The more deeply I connect to my body and myself, the responsibility that is required in each situation becomes very clear.

412. I love how the body shows us all that we need to know. When the need to control comes up in me, my body hardens, as does my voice and I become very fixated on the outcome. It was shown to me just last night that this pattern emerged as a child when I felt the need for things to be the same, predictable because of the unsafety I felt with my parents’ separation. Seeing this, I was able to deeply surrender back into my body and let go of the whole story that seemed insurmountable in the moment.

413. Life changes enormously when we realize the strength we have within us to feel what we need to feel rather than use blame or control. Letting people be as they are, letting ourselves be, observing and responding rather than reacting. What a joy it is to be embracing this way to live.

414. A great expose of control and self-responsibility Julie…both of which can play out in very insidious ways and can create a great deal of distraction and avoiding acknowledging what is truly going on.
     One line that really stood out for me was …”I also appreciate the stillness that holds me so beautifully right through the whole process of returning to the truth that I am, as it is my eternal true anchor and guide.” And that it is…Beautiful.

415. When I am feeling the need to control my body feels collapsed, tight and constricted. When I am feeling responsible my body feels tall, light and expanded.

416. The simplicity of staying with what is being asked and not making it any more or less is so profound. I know the trick of the mind that wants to make things much more complicated. Which turns whatever into something more delayed and exhaustive than need be. All to keep us back from the responsibility of completion and offering true service I feel.

417. Our need to control life simply comes from our refusal to accept what we have already felt. We do not like what we have seen as it does not suit our picture of how we want things to be, and thus we limit our understanding and depth of ability of what we are really seeing.

     1. Thank you Adam…this is direct and to the point, and just what I needed to read this morning. How we want things to be is not how they will ever be – control will only ever attract control…it never allows for the grace of understanding or the magic of God to be.

     2. Seeing the extent of how much ideals and pictures have literally run our life is quite extraordinary…yet we live like it is the most ordinary and normal way to be.

418. I can appreciate that control comes from a desire to protect oneself from the possibility of being hurt but I see it as exposing a lack of trust in life and in ourselves to cope with whatever we are faced with, for when we surrender to the grandness and wisdom within, life unfolds exactly as it is designed to for us to learn whatever we need to evolve and the control only gets in the way of that, delay the inevitable and deny us the joy of being in the flow of that unfoldment.

419. Letting go of control is paramount to surrendering and yet something many struggle to achieve and yet in truth there is no control only the illusion that because we think we have more of a say or imposition on something, we can create the outcome we want… but there is a design to life and lessons to be learnt that we will experience and will happen whether we like it or not and so the control only works to delay the inevitable that at some point requires you to surrender anyway.

420. To realise that control only provides mild, temporary relief and as such is a state that requires constant feeding to achieve feeling okay for a moment… is so powerful, for when compared to the deep steadiness and stillness that can hold you through any situation, the choice to let go and surrender to the grandness and wisdom of you becomes that much easier to make.

421. “My drive is just to finish the task but I don’t like how my body is feeling while I am having this thought: my right shoulder is up, I’m even holding my breath, I feel a hardness inside and I feel that my body is using a lot of effort to achieve this because of my intention to just get the task done.” I found myself in this exact situation reading your blog Julie. Once I read this line the game was up. Thank you for sharing so honestly so that others may see how this pattern plays out for them.

422. So very clear Julie, and much wisdom here. In our hearts we know that driving ourselves to get a task finished is choosing to make ourselves stressed and makes us feel tense and hard and builds up in every task we do in a day. And the result is losing touch with our bodies, they seem to come last, whereas, as you say, if they come first and we feel and express from their innate wisdom then all is taken care of without stress.

423. This is beautiful Julie.
     I can so relate the patterns you write of. Just this morning I lost myself a little and went into blaming past and future scheduled events and tried to control to achieve a particular outcome – I felt so wobbly and emotional as a result that afterwards all I knew was that I had to come back to my body, and go for a gentle walk. This supported me to feel and allow the next steps for me to take. During the walk I also sat in the sun at a bench seat and could feel how in choosing blame and emotional reactions my body had become hardened and exhausted and that In doing so I had created an energetic wall around me to shut out God and the world. As I observed and accepted this the kookaburra’s laughed. I now feel the pull to more deeply commit and take responsibility for how I am with my body every day so that I may sustain an open connection with myself, God, and all of humanity.

424. It’s incredible how we are easily blame that which is outside of ourselves for how we feel when in effect it is us who is choosing an energy that we pull in to stop us from living the amazingness of who we really are.

425. This blog is a great reminder to examine what any given situation is reflecting to us and to learn fully our part in its creation rather than imposing control for it to fit the picture we have of how it should be.

426. How very cool is this statement – ‘My body is my love barometer and my greatest guide’

     1. Absolutely Sally and I also love “My body is here to support me through my life and to keep me functioning beautifully for the purpose I was made for” as it reminds me the responsibility I hold to equally support and nurture my body.

427. “Really my job is to keep my body in a constant balance and my body naturally knows how to do this if I have built a consistent steadiness within me. Then when something comes along, I can just come from that natural steadiness inside of me and then my own stillness can hold me so beautifully right through the whole process of finding an answer in any situation whatsoever.” Thank you Julie, this feels supportive to be reading this today 🙂

428. I hadn’t previously seen this comment from Eleanor Roosevelt “No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent” but it makes great sense to me. It is absolutely our own responsibility to make whatever choices we make, we are masters of our own fate. Great blog Julie.

     1. I loved this comment by Eleanor Roosevelt too, it stops us being a victim and brings the responsibility of our choices back into our own court. We can no longer blame others for choosing to be less.

429. When we go into, basically make the choice to, control we are leaving behind the innate wisdom our body is willing and able to impart on us. We override the truth and follow something outside of us. A recipe for disaster.

430. Yes Doug, and hardening my body is something that I am only now becoming aware of doing. I am able to feel when my body wants to shutdown and not feel a situation, and how incredible it is that we have these protection mechanisms and how sabotaging they are, as to shutdown means we are not open to the connections with others that are inherently ours to make and to build.

431. To take this control of life’s events thing a little deeper it occurs to me that if we consider karma and the fact that life provides us constantly with opportunities to rebalance any disharmony we have created in the universe, then even seemingly random events that appear to just happen to us, out of our control, have actually been created by us in the first place by the fact that we caused a disturbance that needed rebalancing! So we are much more responsible for how our life is then perhaps it appears on a daily human basis?

432. You have brought up something here in your blog Julie that is so rife in our society today – the belief that life just happens to us outside of us and we are just victims to it. Sure there are some things that happen which we have no control over but blame culture is the norm and it is easy to point the finger outwards to some situation or person and make them responsible for how we are feeling. The truth is however as you have clearly stated that the only one responsible for how we feel in any situation is ourselves.

433. Julie, this blog is very interesting. I am slowly letting go of trying to control everything, particularly people in my life, I have in he past thought that I know best, but my body feels awful when I’m trying to control people and situations always causes reaction in others, I love this ‘I can just come from that natural steadiness inside of me and then my own stillness can hold me so beautifully right through the whole process of finding an answer in any situation whatsoever.’ This feels lovely, like a real surrender and letting and allowing, very beautiful.

     1. I am in this process too Rebecca and I also know that ‘I can just come from that natural steadiness inside of me and then my own stillness can hold me so beautifully right through the whole process of finding an answer in any situation whatsoever.’ This is working for me in all areas of my life but when I begin to bring in any judgement or thought process, like a hidden comparison or any form of control then I am immediately in a sticky place. I am also realising that to surrender and deepening that surrender is what truly supports me.

434. My body is my love barometer, how awesome is that! It will tell us every day how we live, the impact of our choices and how much we have chosen love.

435. What is missing when we push and strive to finish something, whatever it is, is that of quality.

436. Letting go of the need to control is like taking off a very heavy suit of armour that has been protecting you for so long that it has become normal to wear it. Even when you finally remove it you can still feel the heaviness in your body as the need to control, and the spin off emotions are so very deeply ingrained. The thought of actually living without the control can be quite scary as it can leave you feeling vulnerable, which you have previously seen as a weakness and not the amazing strength is actually is. In total contrast donning the suit of responsibility feels liberating and safer than control ever did, there is no heaviness or hardening weighing you down and every movement you make flows without hindrance.

437. This is an incredible aha moment for me, “to go into anxiety, that is my choice”. There are jobs l put off in my business because of the anxiety associated with doing them. l thought l had no choice about how l saw them. However, that is not true. l am only holding a fearful picture about the job outcome and this keeps me from completing it. l need to let go of the picture that lm agreeing to see and allow a deeper connection with me, in my body, then approach it from that loving, accepting and honouring space. Thank you Julie.

438. Your blog Julie, is a great reminder of who we truly are. Not weak and small, but grand and powerful if we choose to take responsibility.

     1. I like this reminding ourselves that we are grand and powerful if responsibility is chosen.

439. I love the way this article very clearly associates the reaction of blame and deflection to the descriptors; disempowering, uncomfortable and unloving.

440. Julie your blog has been so practically supportive for me, it has come into my days many times since reading it. I feel myself go into my controlling ways and can feel clearly that I am simply shirking my responsibility for how I feel. Once again thank you, this is huge for me.

441. Could it be we partake in a plethora of ploys? I certainly do and thanks to the presentations by Serge Benhayon they are being continually exposed and dealt with so I can return to my soul.
     For more about Serge Benhayon go to:
     

442. We are being asked to be all that we are, not to settle for finding the answer but to Live the answer on a moment to moment, daily basis.

443. True Doug, our forays can be slight, subtle and whispers of any means of playing down, being less than the authority we are. All such games we play serve well to distract us from being our all and in doing so, serve no one.

     1. Very true Doug…we like to play along for as long as we can though, until our games up.

444. When I notice that I have hardened, the most important point for me is to not to continue harden. This does not mean I change my thoughts but that I change my movements until the hardening is gone.

445. Control is a word that has come up a lot lately. We strive to be ‘in control’ of a situation in order to defeat it or win or have some form of resolution, but I have found that in having this ‘control’ I loose sense of the true purpose, of how I am feeling, of what is needed. Control seems like a trick to me, something in the mind where the body could be telling me something completely different.

446. Julie the need to control is such a big topic, we were talking about it yesterday and the falsity in the fact that we protect ourself with control when the very opposite is true.

     1. We think we are ‘protecting’ when in fact we are opening right up to being controlled ourselves…

447. Once we bring our watch-full eye to how we allow ‘control’ to operate in our lives, the choices we make from the body and breath become more powerful. We are our breath and our movement and once truly connected to these magic happens. Thanks Julie for sharing.

448. “My body is my love barometer and my greatest guide,” this is such great way of describing our body as the holder of truth if we only re-learn to trust, listen and honour what it communicates.

449. “All the task is asking of me is to find the answer, nothing more, nothing less, so why allow my mind and its antics to dictate how I am going to feel in this situation?” This is such a simple obvious question – one that is very familiar to many people. Choosing the mind antics over staying with the body’s support can happen so automatically. Thank you Julie for spelling it out – it would be great if this type of spelling-out was included in our early years of learning, as it would support far more well-being as we grow up and there would be far less tension in our bodies.

450. So beautiful and timely for me to read Julie. I can recognise how control plays out in my life as I place an emphasis on getting tasks done rather than focusing on the quality I am holding myself in and using that as a platform to complete things. You have given me a real insight into my behaviours which I can now reflect and work on – thank you.

451. Beautiful Julie what a great blog reflecting everything about life control and the responsibility we have.I note how you say that “My whole theory around control is that I will feel safer if I am in control of a situation or thing, but this is an absolutely ridiculous expectation and leaves no room for me just being me in my preciousness and love.” This is so true and brings an understanding to controlling life and the loss of truly being the love we innately are.

452. Once again the old saying that the ‘body is the marker of all truth’ springs to mind for no matter what control we think we have the body’s will be quick to tell us otherwise.

     1. So true Kevin.

     2. Absolutely Kevmchardy, we can’t fool our loving heart and body, it is much too wise for our identity seeking mind and in the scheme of things, eventually does not have a chance.

     3. Agreed kevmchardy, we can deny it as much as we like but definitely our bodies will let us know sooner or later of the consequences of living with the need to control life in order to not see what we need to see.

     4. Love this Kevmchardy. We can always come back to this and whether we believe it or not, our body will still always tell us the truth.

453. How profound to recognise that it is actually a choice we make to step away from the soundness of our body and feel anxious…”So in actual fact, my whole body has been affected and influenced by my choice to force and control just to get a job/task done…”

     1. I have so often fallen for this and thought I was in control of everything…. ‘”So in actual fact, my whole body has been affected and influenced by my choice to force and control just to get a job/task done…”

454. Haha awesome notice Doug.

455. Loved this part Julie – “All the task is asking of me is to find the answer, nothing more, nothing less, so why allow my mind and its antics to dictate how I am going to feel in this situation?” great point, it’s up to us to choose how we do a task and in what way it’s done. We can choose struggle street, or we can choose to stay with ourselves through the whole process.

     1. I agree Emily. In every moment we are simply asked to feel the truth and respond with love nothing more, nothing less. We always have a choice whether we want to do do this or not in every moment.

456. Julie, I had to come back to this blog, it’s an absolute goldmine and right now it has me considering how I live and how prevalent control is in my life. I can see and feel how much control can come in when I actually don’t want to take responsibility so then of course as you present we try and control the outcomes out there. But we’re really putting the cart before the horse here as in reality everything comes from and through us, so we need to be with and take responsibility for ourselves and meet the world from there. And rather than being stuck on the ‘end goal’ we stay with us and feel how we are in each moment how our quality is, that’s a complete paradigm shift – wow. I can feel how much this will change everything, so feel the quality of how I am in my body in each moment and meet life from that, and not be focussed out there, but stay in here meeting out there!!! Thank your Julie, you’ve shone a light on an area I’ve needed to look at.

     1. Yes Monica it is a completely different way of viewing and living life that I am only just waking up to as well. I have heard Serge Benhayon talk about ‘seeding forth’ your life meaning the more you choose love and truth in every moment, the more love and truth you constellate in your life to be around you.

        1. Andrew thank you, I love that ‘seeding forth’ your life, I’ve heard Serge Benhayon talking of this also, but had forgotten it, and now considering it in the context of living from inside out it makes absolute sense. It confirms further that our jobs are to choose and live love and let life meet us in that, rather than trying to get life to meet us where we think it and we should be. That’s a whole other level, hugely empowering, and responsible – I’ve been worrying about the wrong things for years, actually that worrying has been a great distraction from not living and choosing love – no more.

457. Boom boom Doug! Our spirits have multiple ploys up their sleeves to prevent us from being who we are.

     1. Absolutely Doug and Andrewmooney26 the spirits game is to always remain in charge and this we are responsible for allowing or not.

     2. Oh yes Doug and andrewmooney26 – our spirits sure do try it on, ploy after ploy after relentless ploy. Once Serge Benahyon brought my attention to this kind of inner battle between emotions and spirit, chaos and stillness, seeking recognition and divine wisdom, I came to know that it is an inner battle of my sprit resisting its true soulful nature. It is fascinating to unravel the depths of resistance it will go to and I have actually come to think it’s fun to catch my spirit’s ploys and stop them in their tracks.
        This is an important key to our evolution back to Soul-full -ness.

458. Julie you make such an important point in your blog that it is not life and its experiences that hurt us, it is our response (or reaction!) to life’s experiences that are the real key. And it is so empowering to know that while we cannot always choose what life brings to us we can always choose how we are in every situation.

459. I had a funny realisation reading this excellent blog. What if the universe was constantly providing opportunities for me to experience to support me to grow and learn and I am there trying to manage my life to avoid any experience that is uncomfortable or inconvenient, therefore completely working at cross purposes to this bigger plan and inadvertently stunting my own evolution?!

     1. A gorgeous realisation, thank-you so much for sharing Andrewmooney26.

460. This control thing is a huge topic and one I can definitely relate to. It is absolutely bonkers when I really stop to think about it how much tension I create in my body through fooling myself that I can try to control life or wish or hope for a certain outcome when there are a million variables and factors at play that I have absolutely no say in.

461. “The problem with the ‘needing to control’ theory is that I have to constantly control as much as I can in order to feel any sort of achievement or okayness, but that state is very short-lived and it needs to be constantly fed.”
     Being controlling with my children is a big one for me!
     It’s a hamster wheel, a dead end road where the lack of equality breeds rebellion and deceit and the very real consequences of our choices are never actually felt.

     1. Me too lucindag, and beautifully described ~ ‘It’s a hamster wheel, a dead end road where the lack of equality breeds rebellion and deceit and the very real consequences of our choices are never actually felt’

462. I can see how the need to control diminishes me, how I am with me, how I am with others, whereas allowing and surrendering supports me to stay in true control, present and observing in my body, not allowing emotions to overtake.

463. Thank you Julie for a great article, I used to think that control, controlling my life was taking responsibility for it, which all came from my head, with no regard for the body. I love what you expressed here ” When I let go of control and surrender, what transpires is the most beautiful dance and flow within me that feels spacious, alive and full of love; a love that only knows how to be itself.”

464. I love this blog. I get that the drive to complete a job – so much to do don’t want get trapped in overwhelm, want do more to help, for example- destroys the connection with oneself and then with whoever we’re with.

     I’ve noticed how horrible it feels to be working with someone when I put a task before actually being with that person/people. It’s like saying neither of us are important, it’s OK to ignore one another and what we feel and are really here to bring.

     But when I am connected and present I invite another to be too which is the greatest support they can ever receive because being ourselves is healing.

465. Very honest what you share here: But if I am more honest, I can feel within me the tension that I am wanting to finish this question because in my mind, when I answer this question, I can go onto the next question and there is a sense of achievement and recognition from that.” As this is what we think right? But a lot of the time we are disregarding where our body is at when doing so. What if we do not truly need to answer that voice that wants an answer but let our body speak and be our game changer? I am inspired and interested in if that voice then disappears and have less to say. It is worth experimenting. As our body knows the truth, listening to it might make us richer.

466. “…I can feel the huge difference in my body and how spacious it feels to claim myself back from the thoughts that will take me down the blaming path and away from my own wise, inner counsel” Our body knows the truth well before our mind can come up with a reason to ignore it.

     1. This is so true, Naren Duffy, so exposing of the fact that we are not our thoughts but we have a say over what thoughts we entertain that will then drive us or not.

        1. Yes, Julie. And that say over which thoughts run our lives comes not through mastering our mind with counter-thoughts, but by engaging fully with our body and feeling how certain thoughts make us feel.

467. Beautiful what you have come to Marika, with letting go and allowing things to unfold. Recently I was in a meeting and we came to a stumbling block, or so we thought, it became hard and complicated and we were spending way too much time on a small detail, then someone said, ‘Is this really needed?’, and every one of us on the call dropped back into our bodies and felt it was not and then we simply moved on. Since, I have found this question very supportive.

468. ‘Aha’ moments all around Julie, brilliant exposure of what can start the domino effect into stress and anxiety, and other emotions. I was sitting here considering what stresses me out, and every single thing I thought of originated from holding a belief or ideal about it first. I realise how often I label every situation with good, bad, special, pressure, important, easy, etc. and with each there is an impact on my body. What do our bodies cop with us having labels and pictures? And the medicinal question as you ask Julie, is “…what is really being asked of me here?”

469. My body is my love barometer and my greatest guide – such a great reminder of the wisdom of our body.

470. “I also appreciate the stillness that holds me so beautifully right through the whole process of returning to the truth that I am, as it is my eternal true anchor and guide.” When I read this I am reminded of a beautiful song that celebrates stillness.
     http://www.heavensjoyfullmusic.com/cd/

471. I found myself really pinpointing how I go into control, old, old patterns within me, instead of surrendering to the vast love that I am. These old ways may have worked in a limited way before but they totally do not do anything but feel awful in my body these days. There is so much in this blog Julie, thank you.

472. Thank you Julie for breaking down simply how we can control and manipulate life to avoid taking deeper responsibility.

473. This blog gets to the heart of the core issue that l feel is plaguing humanity. What you disclose here Julie is gold. lt is certainly a turning point for me to own and clear.

474. Taking full responsibility for our feelings is a huge step toward our personal self empowerment. When there is no-one else to blame or denigrate there is an opportunity for a heart to heart with your self. This can be miraculous.

475. What I find fascinating about this blog and all the comments that come with it is how aware we all in fact are of exactly what is going on. I am definitely one of these. I know exactly what games I am playing and my body keeps me 24/7, razor-accurate, informed about every choice I am making. But do I always choose to change my movements? Zero ignorance = maximum irresponsibility. No excuses.

     1. The body is indeed razor-accurate and never ever misses a beat. So yes, there really are no excuses!

476. “My whole theory around control is that I will feel safer if I am in control of a situation or thing, but this is an absolutely ridiculous expectation and leaves no room for me just being me in my preciousness and love.”- so true Julie. I can feel that when I am controlling my body is hard, shoulders up and chest tight, and what comes out of my mouth is far from being loving.

     1. Yes it’s so true lorettarapp, as at that point we aren’t actually running with our loving heart and in the flow, we have basically grabbed our own oar and are rowing upstream against our very nature.

477. Gorgeous statement and so true: “No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” We do so much to ourselves. We sabotage ourselves with thoughts, we give our power away and we abuse our bodies in various ways. The answer to most of our woes lies within in when we connect to the stillness and the divine wisdom we have inside.

478. I can absolutely relate to what you wrote about the need to control. This theme keeps coming up for me in all areas of my life, being it work, study or relationships. Always showing me how I don’t stay (enough) in what that exact moment offers me. Lack of appreciation is certainly to biame.

479. ‘Now that I am choosing to step up in my self-responsibility and claiming more and more my part in situations, I can feel the huge difference in my body and how spacious it feels to claim myself back from the thoughts that will take me down the blaming path and away from my own wise, inner counsel.’ So true Julie, the wisdom inside us just knows. And it is the way to go. To observe and be honest is the first step in changing the pattern of fulfilling the demands of the outside world.

480. Feeling out of control of our lives is uncomfortable, and surrendering to life doesn’t feel right either, but if we connect with our innermost selves, there is a different sense of knowing. I like what you wrote: ‘If I don’t need to control, but breathe my own breath and stay with what is being asked of me (and don’t label it as right or wrong, good or bad, or make it into something difficult or complicated), my body can be left to just support me, naturally so, in an order that it knows right down to the tiniest cell, without complications or tension.

481. I feel that reading your blog has allowed me to let go of some of my control – and the hardness in my body. When we come back to ourselves and allow the universe to support us we know we are not alone. Thank you Julie.

482. Thank you Julie and Doug, so very true, distraction takes me into a fantasyland of make believe where I can be totally distracted with visions or thoughts. Re-connecting and staying in the “joyful flow” has become the only choice since the presentations by Serge Benhayon.
     For more about Serge Benhayon go to;
     

483. I recognise that one too, placing more importance/need on the job being completed over the value of the quality I am in. It is a shift that is happening towards quality over quantity and i’m finding there’s more flow and so less need to push ahead.

     1. Yes Roseannabianchini, we all know too well that feeling of tension when we have chosen the doing over any quality or presence. And it’s that tension that tells us, we are not choosing to work with heaven which our bodies are naturally made to do.
        Isn’t it wonderful how our bodies tell us so.

     2. The difference between quality and quantity is very significant. Quality has purpose and integrity for all. Quantity is for self and an end result.

        1. I like how you have described this Sandra.

        2. I love this expansion Sandra of quality and quantity. I have never thought of quality being for all but it makes sense because we are feeling energy all of the time therefore the quality in which we move and live is felt by all.

     3. Yes Roseanne, we all know too well that feeling of tension when we have chosen the doing over any quality or presence. And it’s that tension that tells us, we are not choosing to work with heaven which our bodies are naturally made to do. Isn’t it wonderful how our bodies tell us in this way.

        1. Spot on Julie. The tension tells us we are not working with Heaven 🙂

     4. There is indeed such focus on output and quantity in life, the goal, accolade and end result..but at what expense? If we don’t check in and ensure our true quality in our every expression, it is sure to be at our expense and all others.

     5. I agree and therefore we create space and so more clarity is available and more work can therefore be done.

484. Julie, this is so beautiful, ‘There’s no need for any picture of how that might look like, just a choice to stay with my body, breathe my breath and allow my innate, deep wisdom to guide me’, i can feel that in the past I have not worked in this way at all, I have made things complicated by trying to control, I have recently experienced that by letting go and not trying to control everything there is much more flow and lightness, lovely connections with people and a trust in myself – a very different way of working!

     1. Isn’t it rebeccawingrave, and it is very beautiful to feel this choice that you are most definitely making for yourself, it feels truly divine.

485. Control and surrender – great subject matter as it is at the heart of living more naturally and joyfully. When you appreciate that you’re contorting your body and filling it with tension by choosing a way of being that denies and negates its true value, you then have the choice to operate differently, more responsibly and naturally, by surrendering to your own grandness and letting your wisdom guide you.

486. “Really my job is to keep my body in a constant balance and my body naturally knows how to do this if I have built a consistent steadiness within me.” Yes, this is our true job in life. If we work on this we can remain steady in everything we do.

487. We spend a lifetime trying to control time. Why do we measure out the unlimited love we all posses? Why do we put so much effort into controlling things we have no control over… when we can just be love all of the time.

     1. Yes Steve, we put ourselves under unnecessary stress every time we decide we need to be in control of something, which is an impossibility as we are fed the energy that runs us and so are being controlled but we convince ourselves that it is all us.

488. The interesting thing about control, which Julie has highlighted here, is how we can choose it and its consequences – dire as they may be – to be a part of our daily lives, when in fact there is so much more to life that we can offer when control is laid to rest and the person that you truly are is allowed to come out and be the decision maker.

489. Julie your opening line ‘Lately I am noticing that when there is something that needs to be resolved and I don’t feel in control of the outcome, I start to harden in my body and become stressed’ really made me sit up, as I have had exactly the same thing going on recently. There is a situation that involves me and it’s in other people’s hands. I have had a mild agitation gnawing away at me for a while. I have wanted to simply be done with emails and pick up the phone and sort it out in one conversation. I thought that it was because other people’s sense of timing was a bit tardy but I have come to realise that my irritation boils down to the fact that it’s out of my control. I have kidded myself that I can’t be still until this is resolved, ah the tricks we play to keep ourselves from our own stillness!

490. Another thing that I have come to feel in my body is that the calm that I feel as a result of controlling my environment is as secure as a woman who has slipped off a cliff and managed to grab hold of a twig!

     1. Ha ha Alexis, what a great analogy. Yes, calm gives us the perception that we have it sorted out, that everything is OK, when really we have just masked and buried the real issue.

     2. Well said Alexis, control is like balancing on a cliff edge, you must always hang on, and one way or another a fall is always imminent.

491. Julie, simply reading the title of your article today ‘The Need to Control vs Self-responsibility’ has caused me to realise that in the past I think I saw my controlling ways as actually being responsible. I believed that by controlling my environment I was actually taking responsibility for it and yet now I understand that the only thing that I can be truly responsible for is myself and so it was an illusion that I was being responsible, as in truth I was not taking responsibility for how I felt.

492. ‘so why allow my mind and its antics to dictate how I am going to feel in this situation?’ – Julie you pose a great question here. All too often we can let our minds take over without the consideration of how our body is feeling first. And it takes the simple stop moment for us to ask ‘why have we allowed this’ to then change it completely – come back to our bodies and then feel what is needed.

493. “I am so much more than my mind will allow me to know and my responsibility is to own this truth and live it as completely as I can in any given moment”. Julie I love this. When we decide who we are based on what we think we are (from our minds) we have automatically capped knowing who we are. I can very much relate to this. When living in this way it’s no wonder that I have tried to control pretty much everything. But as you have said it just leaves me with a whole lot of tension in my body. I have realised how important it is to observe this, otherwise I would have just continued on in life as I have done without the beautiful understanding that we are so much more that what we think.

494. ‘And then came an ‘aha’ moment when I realised this situation is not asking me to change myself at all, nor is it asking me to go into anxiety: that is my choice.’ Thank you so much, I needed to hear this this morning. It absolutely supports me in a situation I have to deal with.

495. “My body is here to support me through my life” – that sentence alone is worth to feel, realize and to ponder on…

     1. So true Sandra – and how do we go about supporting our body?

        1. Exactly Jenny, and how do we go with the support that is offered to us?

     2. Yes Sandra, this is true. This is a statement worth sitting with.

     3. It is a power-full statement. Staying present in the body and every movement means we become a vehicle to allow the space for truth to flow through. Much to ponder on Sandra.

        1. And not to forget that we are a vehicle for energy anyway – no matter what we choose. And our body reflects us which energy we did choose….good boy 😉

496. There is a cycle of encountering something difficult like a question for which we don’t know the answer, or as seems common in University, a question configured to make finding the answer particularly difficult, once we encounter that question we can feel our previous inadequacies and hurts, so we numb ourselves by hardening and using nervous energy to get past this point and then we repeat the cycle over and over again until exhausted.
     If we are able to stay connected to our heart when we encounter such a configuration, especially if we have given ourselves enough time to find the answer, then I found that I can avoid 90% or more of all the above stress and hurt.

497. What great and timely blog Julie, the quote from Eleanor Roosevelt is priceless…” No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent…” Everything is a choice..

     1. It is disempowering to believe we are at the mercy of other’s choices, actions and ways.

     2. Absolutely Johanne, everything is a choice indeed and it is always a choice of which energy we align to.

     3. This brings us back to that old chestnut ‘to observe and not absorb’. Do we let the outside world impose a pattern of behaviour or a way of feeling on us, or do we observe, reflect and then choose our own path?

498. “Really my job is to keep my body in a constant balance and my body naturally knows how to do this if I have built a consistent steadiness within me. Then when something comes along, I can just come from that natural steadiness inside of me” – this is also what I’ve been deeper learning and noting, Julie, working on the consistency and knowing how to come back to it during up and down moments. For it’s the unsteadiness that creates the freak out and default to control. When there is developing acceptance over the usual push for things to be a certain way, there is a steadiness not shakiness. Because it’s the acceptance that acts like a backbone to hold and bring the bodily-felt ease of natural steadiness.

499. Julie, letting go of control and blame has been a big process in my own life and something I feel nearly everyone can relate to in some way or another. I often just want a resolution so I don’t have the discomfort in myself of others not getting things the way I want them too! Surrendering and trusting the process and addressing what is presenting in me before I address it with the other person is what I have learnt from the teachings of Universal Medicine presented and lived by Serge Benhayon! This takes away the need to control the outcome, brings more honesty to the issue and a greater opportunity for deeper understanding of what’s really going on that supports everyone involved.

500. “All the task is asking of me is to find the answer, nothing more, nothing less, so why allow my mind and its antics to dictate how I am going to feel in this situation?” – that is so perfectly seen and stated Julie, i love that, so easy to put into context, agree the ‘issue’ is not ‘doing’ anything, it is innocent … it is we who are wanting to create something out of it like some drama to enliven an un-satiated part of us…..as if to wake a sleeping dog…and why wake or antagonise a sleeping dog, and more just let it be, else experience the effect of its agitation (!)

     1. I wonder if “All the task…” is really all that is happening. Could the task say: “I demand that you see the world the way I see, that you reconfigure yourself in such a way that you recall the way I want you to recall”? In that case the task would actually be more comprehensive: Hold yourself, notice the configuration of the question, find the answer the question is asking for while continuing to hold yourself and then write down the answer, noticing how you writing down the answer undoes the configuration of the question and keep holding yourself while doing so. “Holding yourself” does not mean to protect yourself but to stay aware and connected to your inner heart throughout the process.

501. It is an absolutely refreshing and empowering way in living life when everything we see is a reflection of energy and responsibility. Just the aha moments of feeling how our bodies are and how we then take responsibility for what we are feeling is already constant gold being put int our pockets, how truly rich we are in the opportunities that life gives us!

     1. The Aha-moments are such a blessing, no matter what is there to observe, if it feels good or bad, the moment I allow myself to observe I am not totally caught up in the roller-coaster anymore.

502. Interesting post Julie, controlling is such a popular uptake for many of us, and is a form of imposition which makes us believe that everything’s ok (we’re ok) when we’ve got control or are in control, though in fact what breaks this illusion is getting to understand and know we that are not in any control at all, but are in fact being controlled or owned. When we are controlling we are ourselves controlled, or controller is the controlled.

     1. I so relate to this – the feeling that when we have everything under control life is good and we are ok. I used to feel if someone commented on how organised I was I felt good but it isn’t being organised its being in control. I am learning how life is naturally ordered and organised and we don’t have to ‘do’ anything to ensure things happen. It is the quality of my body that counts as there will still be an outcome, with or without control.

503. Julie, in a situation where I felt I did not have control, in the beginning I felt like I just wanted to get the task done as soon as possible, but no matter how much I wanted it was impossible to get it done! What I did not enjoy really in that moment, was not whether the task was done or not, but the feeling of anxiousness in my body. I was feeling the anxiousness because I have walked away from the lovely and precious connection I had with myself in this new circumstance that I am unused to. So in appreciating what I was feeling that moment, anxiousness and all, I gave my body a big thank you. I did not give up in finding all ways creative and fun to face the situation, and there were many ideas that came to do so. And in returning to the connection with myself, the task solved itself with ease.

504. On the other side of control is our wisdom, but when we are in the control, it is like there is a wall that you can’t see over, that stops you from allowing ourselves to go there.

     1. Love this Matthew: “On the other side of control is our wisdom”, but sometimes it’s a bit scary trusting what will be on the other side of the “wall”. I have come to know that replacing control with wisdom will ensure that what is there waiting is exactly what is needed at that moment in time.

     2. Yes I can feel this too like once I need to control I’m working life out from my head but if I am in my heart and with my body of course there is wisdom.

     3. True Matthew, the control prevents us from accessing our deep wisdom and knowing.

     4. Yes, Matthew. Control comes with an undertone of ‘I know how things should be’ and doesn’t allow anything beyond what we think we know, and we do not realise how limiting and arrogant that is.

        1. I would go a step further Fumiyo and say – it is positively nonsensical.

505. The sense of achievement is a sure trick to keep us in the illusion that we are doing OK that continues to feed itself over and over again.

506. To quote you Julie “I’m placing my body in an unnatural configuration that makes it work harder and feels quite uncomfortable”. The seed of all illness and disease is exactly this. Allowing these emotions to separate us from our natural connection only sends an anti-vibration through the body. It is like driving your car and the wheels need balancing or when a load of washing is not centered on the spin cycle and it causes a lot of vibration and noise. This is no different to the body only eventually the body breaks down much sooner than it should.

     1. I love your analogy here Matthew, very relatable and yes we do put our bodies through unnecessary stress, all for an outcome that won’t ever satisfy us.

     2. I love your examples Matthew – so simple yet great tools to bring to mind throughout our day.

507. “My body is my love barometer and my greatest guide, so if I take all of me to everything that I do (no perfection of course), then everyone gets a woman who is the real me as absolute love in motion.” Love this Julie ‘My body is a love barometer and my greatest guide’, so much more enjoyable than the control and tension and hardness that we choose because we don’t want to accept our irresponsible choices.

     1. I’m smiling at your words Alison as this is so True, that it’s actually hard to believe how far that we’ve chosen to live the exact opposite and use enormous force to sustain the lie. I feel so amazingly loving when I choose to let go of the control. There’s enormous tenderness, grace and love within my body. It’s worth building this:-). And actually very natural.

     2. I’m with you Alison – love the way Julie has expressed this.

508. Thank you for sharing this Julie, it is a beautiful blog about our need to control. I love the feeling of letting go of this controlling for an outcome. I have discovered that if I take responsibility for the quality that I bring to any process then the outcome is guaranteed to be in that same quality. The outcome may not look like I thought it would but the quality is there.

     1. Beautifully said Lee, for me to face areas l don’t want to face, this blog exposes the key to my holding-back. Who would have thought l could start with a quality and be unchanged by the thing l do and keep the same quality or better after completing it? However, it happens for me when writing comments. So why not try it with the things l am not so keen to do? When l tune into the service part of it, and what it will offer to others, it stops being about me and whether l can or can’t do a job.
        l hear very clearly, “Honor the steps and they shall honor you.”

        1. Irena what a beautiful comment reminding me we are always held in love.

           I’ve noticed recently that I have been feeling a beautiful quality as I walk in the morning but I go into protection around people, I harden up. How beautiful to feel divinity is presented to others if I surrender and keep true to this quality; and how I will be supported in this choice.

     2. Great comment Lee – you have just defined for me what it means to surrender.

     3. That’s a great point Lee; ‘the outcome may not look like I thought it would but the quality is there’. This is why expectations are so deadly, as if we have an image in our minds about what we want, expect or need to happen then outcomes that are true and of an amazing quality can appear false or wrong.

        1. Yes brilliantly said Susie. Outcomes with amazing quality can go unseen and unappreciated so aren’t built on or expanded. Instead people can get caught up in disappointment and either give-up or resolve to chase ideals even more ardently – leading to further false expectations and so on until an appreciation of quality is reintroduced.

     4. Awesome Lee… to ‘take responsibility for the quality that I bring to any process then the outcome is guaranteed’ is so much simpler. All it asks is for us to be present here and now and not to have to know everything, or be able to do everything. Just focus on the quality and we guarantee the best end result possible.

     5. I love what you have shared here Lee “I have discovered that if I take responsibility for the quality that I bring to any process then the outcome is guaranteed to be in that same quality. The outcome may not look like I thought it would but the quality is there.”

     6. I love that you have brought the importance of quality in here Lee. I had a bit of an epiphany with this the other day at a Woman in Livingness group in
        London. Yes, if we work with the quality we are in and do things in, then automatically there is no room for control.

     7. Spot on Lee, it is simply about the quality that we bring to anything that we do and then the outcome is guaranteed to be to the benefit of all.

     8. I agree Katie, whenever we go into control we need to harden our bodies and letting go of it layer by layer creates more space and flow in our movements and a beautiful reflection for others to feel.

509. Bringing responsibility for our body and our choices is very empowering and all we are all along if we only knew it. It is through Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine that this understanding is clearly reflected to us, for everyone to see, to support us in our journey here on earth and for all humanity. The stillness and contentment inside is all we need as our foundation and strength in life and the flow and simplicity from here is beautiful and very loving. Thank you for this great sharing.

     1. The stillness and contentment within is our greatest asset.

510. What a beautiful article Julie it is amazing to read and feel the surrender and letting go in my own body with all you share and the feeling of understanding connection and stillness from this. I particularly love, ‘I also appreciate the stillness that holds me so beautifully right through the whole process of returning to the truth that I am, as it is my eternal true anchor and guide’ – beautiful !

     1. I love the reminder that we are returning to who we are. Sometimes I get the feeling that things come up for me to deal with and that I am being asked to be more. Knowing that I am already the more that I am being asked to be, and that what is actually being asked is that I return to this, completely changes my perspective.

511. There is no need to control when we surrender to the love that we are. The need to control comes from the pain that arises when we separate from our true self (Soul) and in so doing set up a desperate quest to alleviate the symptoms felt when we are love but in this moment are choosing to not connect to and express it.

     1. When I surrender my body is at ease with all of life, I trust and I flow with what presents itself. If I bring self into the equation, there is an edge of tension and that ease and simplicity are no longer present. When I surrender I am in connection with all of life and when I make it about me I am separate and this causes pain and tension.

        1. nikkimckee that sums it up beautifully and simply, trusting that we are part of a bigger picture releases any need to control leaving us free to surrender to the flow of life.

        2. Beautifully said Nikkimckee, surrendering in our bodies is the key that allows us to connect to the flow of the universe.

512. Julie I absolutely love what you’ve written. I’ve been so controlling my whole life and am beginning to surrender to myself so reading this is super supportive. Thank you.

513. Julie, I loved your blog, it was a real joy to read and super revealing – the question that arose for me was what if I lived without control? What if I just tuned into my body and met each thing, without expectation or judgement in each moment, how would that feel and how would it be to live like that? I have moments like this but it’s not consistent and your blog has me asking why not? Why not go it a go and have your body be front and centre of all you do, and indeed as others have noted it’s crazy that we operate this way, as without staying with us, our body and our breath what quality do we give and bring to all we do, and of course all those things miss one key ingredient us.

514. I love that quote: “No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” We are so often our worst critics. The more I appreciate myself and everything that I am the less I find that other people can affect me or bring me down. Thanks to Universal Medicine I have taken a lot more responsibility for my life and feel a lot more empowered than I ever have before. The difference in me pre and post meeting Serge Benhayon is quite phenomenal.

     1. Agreed James, it is an awesome quote. I have to take my hate off to universal medicine and Serge Benhayon also, the difference in myself, due to their inspiration, is phenomenal. I couldn’t thank them enough. The best role models out.

        1. I know Emily ‘best role models out there’ – no matter what age we are and it is never to late either.

515. Wise words, Julie! We are totally responsible for our choices in every moment.

516. Control arises because we are invested in an outcome – we already want things to be a certain way, but in fact everything is guaranteed by the quality of energy we choose in our body.

     1. So well said Harry. Gorgeous to read.

517. “My body is my love barometer.” – what a great sentence! When we move away from living from the love we naturally are our body gives us very clear signals. A gorgeous way to express this Julie.

518. How can we control that which belongs to a greater body, from which we all come from and are connected to? When we are open to understand and willing to realise that our bodies are Divine vessels through which the will of God passes through, we will realise that our surrender to this will is our greatest power, the flow of our Divinity embodied, one that transcends the illusionary control of any form that is offered through the mind.

519. Thank you for a great blog Julie. I have had issues with control in my life but would not have called it that. Since learning of my responsibility to myself and the decisions I make in all areas of my life I understand how important it is to have this awareness and change the way I have been relating to self and all. It all comes back to self responsibility.

520. Wow Julie, this is a brilliant blog, very inspiring and exquisitely expressed. What I have realised is, control is the opposite of trust and surrender. We actually have to harden and contract our body in order to be controlling. Hence this is why this choice to control hurts our body and the people around us.

521. Love this blog Julie, I can relate to much of what you have shared. Such a powerful revelation shared here – ‘I am so much more than my mind will allow me to know’ – and I have also experienced this to be so very true. Whenever I allow my mind to lead the way my body suffers, I doubt myself, and the quality of my presence drops as there is disregard of any connection to that which challenges the control the mind has in that moment, Love. When we give our power away to serving self through instant gratification and identification it is done regardless the cost, and diminishing our connection to our Divinity and so to all being the most costly. We are so much more than what the mind can ever measure or deludes us to believe through seeking identification, and so our responsibility is to connect and surrender to our knowing within, which is what in truth truly guides us to live in the full power that we are all here to realise and live.

522. I have become aware that I feel the tension across the back of my neck and shoulders and a sense of urgency in my body when I feel that something isn’t going as planned it feels horrible and usually comes about when I am wanting to control the amount of time I have set myself and expect to complete whatever it is I am doing. But I am learning to not put limits or set goals, to keep it simple and surrender to the natural unfolding of the situation and the tension immediately dissipates. Letting go of control by keeping it simple and accepting things don’t always need to go as planned is key for me.

523. ‘But if I am more honest, I can feel within me the tension that I am wanting to finish this question because in my mind, when I answer this question, I can go onto the next question and there is a sense of achievement and recognition from that.’ Bingo! Here we have the answer. Thank you Julie!

524. You know when you see an iceberg and big chunks are falling off, that is how I felt reading your blog. Big chunks of hardness and perfection just falling off. Thank you.

     1. Great description Sarah, this blog has me melting into the simplicity I know is true.

525. Julie, thanks for such a strong reminder for me in your blog – a reminder to keep working o my connection with the inner steadiness that is always there just waiting to be tapped into. I love the part where you talk about things happening to us or around us and we can “just come from that natural steadiness inside” – this really is the key and a great reminder for me this morning! Thank you! The key is that the steadiness is there within, just waiting to be tapped into and I am realising that all of my life I have allowed myself the distraction from this steadiness, a flightiness away from it all. And now it is time to return to it in full and practice spending more time with this steadiness that naturally is.

526. How much effort and energy do we expend on ‘staying on top of things’ or ‘keeping the lid’ on life? I get a picture of sailing a boat and continually having to rig up the sail, steer the rudder and check the course, when the whole time the river is running in exactly the way we need to travel. Gosh what would our everyday be like if we were simply to trust? Thank you for the inspiration Julie.

     1. Beautiful Joseph. A great analogy showing how hard we make it, how we try to control everything, instead of enjoying the journey and going with the flow.

     2. Great analogy Joseph. You have captured the continual effort and force required to keep on top of things when we are of the belief that we are on our own in isolation with no interconnectedness with anyone else or the universe. No wonder exhaustion is such a plague today.

527. From reading your blog and going about my working day I could feel a significant healing occurring as I worked (for everyone). At no point did I choose to identify with the external pressure / stress of what was there. Instead I choose to know that I’m the gorgeous person I am in full and this is the quality I brought to what was there to be done. The way I felt when I completed my day was significantly more vital than I can re-call feeling before (or at least for a very long time). Thank you Julie this has been very healing for me.

528. Being in connection with yourself and feeling your body is the most safe place you can be in, everything else is an illusion.

529. “My body is my love barometer”- this is a lovely way of acknowledging that we hold in our bodies all the truth we need and our bodies are always waiting to share with us what is okay and what is not. We then have choice about whether to listen or not!!

530. “If I choose to blame the situation or thing, I am only doing this because that deflects away from the fact that I don’t wish to feel that I haven’t taken full responsibility for my feelings and am thus using the situation as the reason for my tension.” Wow Julie this line alone is so HUGE, for this is the sigh that i met by when i ask people today how they are, the overwhelm of all they have to do, as you say it has become totally normal to deflect the blame onto the tasks and in doing so we no longer have to be responsible for the stress we have consented to.

     1. This is something that I used to do too when I lost the big picture.I can still do it but it is becoming more obvious now. With awareness we have the choice to change how we are and thus how life works. It is through the teachings and modalities that come through Serge Benhayon that many of us have allowed, and still allow this expanding awareness.

     2. I agree Lucindag and would even take it further. We actively seek out the overwhelm to further bury our irresponsibility which is so great that we actually need even more complication and stress to keep it all under wraps. Amazing.

     3. Yes Lucinda, this jumped out at me and almost smacked me in the face, I’d never considered it before and it’s true, and so prevalent as you say. We’ve all gotten used to blaming the tasks or things we do, but in fact we’re choosing the stress and we don’t need to do that. It’s huge and life changing when we see it as it truly is.

531. “My body is here to support me through my life and to keep me functioning beautifully for the purpose I was made for” – I love this line…it reminds me to pay deeper attention to how much I work against my body. It is there to support me, do I support it to the same degree?

     1. Our bodies belong to God and this means that they are part of a far greater and grander whole that is constantly communicating to us through these vehicles of expression. Yet we have developed a way of living here on Earth that is so far from the grandness we are and from that we have, in a sense, bludgeoned our bodies and therefore ourselves to not feel the exquisiteness of this truth. Thus, in order to hear once more the voice of God, we must first remove that which has made us deaf to it. That is, we must honestly look at each of our behaviours, thoughts and actions and determine whether they come from a source that is love, or one that is not.

     2. I agree Joel, the relationship from me & my body deserves an equal awareness and attentiveness. My body supports me without question and ongoing – do I so equally? To be honest: mostly not.

        1. “To be honest: mostly not” – yes at times this is so very true…love the honesty Sandra

     3. It’s such a great line because it shines so brightly the treasure that our body is. It’s like a line from some kind of advert for an amazing machine, or car or something, which if it were for sale would be worth a fortune. But we already have it. For free. Right here. Right now. The greatest ‘machine’ ever imaginable that offers us a gateway to untold wisdom and joy. And yet, as you say Joel, do we support it, treasure it and look after it with the level of care that it so absolutely deserves? I know I don’t.

        1. What I realize currently is, that yes, my body supports me and I want to learn to honor that, but what is in the way? What did and maybe does hinder me to do so? So I start to ask, what is it exactly my body does support me with? Could it be that the support of my body is in a way another part of me does not like? I found that when I follow my body and sense instead of my mind and thoughts I surrender to a being that has no control or individuality, no ‘self’ and my spirit goes nuts with that.
           So yes, my body is a great supporter for me – as long I choose to get rid of individuality. As long I choose different, I will sabotage my body and what it offers.

        2. So true, we are all mazzaratti’s on the inside, but so many of us treat ourselves like some kind of beat up rust bucket and then complain that our bodies are not performing as they should.

           Said another way, that untold wisdom in the body, is our divinity, we then trash our bodies and say that there is no such thing a divinity… in one way we are right, because we can’t feel it, but it’s never gone, just in need of a tune up!

        3. I always had that feeling that I was only ever in first or second gear. Universal Medicine and the teachings of Serge Benhayon are inspiring me to run up through the gears…and I’m loving it….and then there is the car itself. Maserati? Yes please…although perhaps with greater reliability (consistency)

     4. I agree Doug, not only do we take our bodies for granted by push it too hard we also ignore its wisdom. In fact it can lead us in so many delightful ways, if we let it.

        1. love it…some models talk about data, building to knowledge and then to wisdom but the reality is that life is reverse…start with wisdom and allow it to build the knowledge and inform the data.

        2. Great example Doug…

     5. I agree Doug and Joel, we take our bodies for granted like if they are machines that need service once in a while only to continue the abuse we are so used to inflict on them. Sadly, it takes a big jolt for us to stop and feel how delicate we are and how much care and love we need to bring to ourselves in order to live in harmony with our bodies.

     6. I know, its is a crazy logic that when laid out make no sense.

532. There is so much I can relate to in what you’ve shared Julie. What was interesting to notice while reading “I am actually surrendering to my own grandness and wisdom and saying I am confirming myself as absolute right here and now, so I just let go and let that unfold.” Was something in me squirmed. I’ve been blaming my childhood and ‘trying’ to find the event that broke me from the acceptance of my divinity. But the truth is, at some point in life I chose to reject my light. Becoming aware of the results that such a choice has led to is not pleasant, but living in blame gets us nowhere whereas if I claim ‘my choices led to this before me’ then we are not left powerless but actually empowered to use our choice making ability, our will, much more wisely.

533. “My body is my love barometer and my greatest guide.” I love the playful use of words Julie. The body truly is our greatest guide and a true barometer of truth. Thank you.

534. Julie, the simplicity this realisation brings is beautiful!
     “If I don’t need to control, but breathe my own breath and stay with what is being asked of me (and don’t label it as right or wrong, good or bad, or make it into something difficult or complicated), my body can be left to just support me, naturally so, in an order that it knows right down to the tiniest cell, without complications or tension”.

535. Julie this is a highly inspiring blog to read – I love how you break down the action and see there is a choice to control or choose to surrender to your body by the very nature of feeling the unnatural configuration you have been causing it.
     “So if I break it all down, in choosing to want to control, I’m placing my body in an unnatural configuration that makes it work harder and feels quite uncomfortable”.

536. Surrendering to self-responsbiltiy and to all that we are. For if we do not, we are fighting our very essence and divinity.

537. I can relate to what you have written Julie. Many times I have sought to change what is in front of me or to exit rapidly, bury my head under the doona or wish it away let alone every means possible of hardening my body, producing anxiety or any number of distractions, decoys and denials…when all the while I was being called to a greater level of responsibility – a level already upon me and already I have said yes to…responsibility calling me to be in my power and to bring all of me to the situation or moment at hand.

538. What you have presented is precious indeed. That should we seek to blame what is in front of us for creating the tension, then we will fail to recognise the great learning and the level of responsibility we are called to take in that moment.

     1. A well worn keystroke that one – to blame others rather than see our part and the learning on offer.

539. A great revelatory blog Julie – how tense we become when we attempt to control life. No longer are we in it’s natural flow and rhythm and such disunity runs rampant inside and out.

540. Thanks Julie – my tiredness explained as I was ‘trying’ to complete tasks at work this afternoon.

541. I had an opportunity to surrender this morning, a technical issue challenged me and it was out of my control so I had the choice to get frustrated or simply let it go. I let it go …eventually.

     1. This is very true Marika, we are so supported and have an opportunity to learn from everything.

542. Acceptance and surrender, two words that allow the body to let go and return to ourselves.

543. “My body is my love barometer”, that is beautiful and a great motto to live by.

544. oh and to add that I am just beginning to peak at how I have used control to keep me from experiencing myself and others in full and so you have given me such a leg up in what you have shared. I can really feel how we can truly support one another to evolve because we are all experiencing variations of the same things. Same, same but different. Understanding brings freedom from the shackles that bind us. We’re passing the key to one another.

545. Great article Julie I enjoyed it, the greatest intelligence we can obtain is within our own bodies.

546. Control takes us away from any situation as we need to contract to feel the false sense of protection that comes with tensing up the body and nervous system. Actually we much more alter our state of being than getting really control over the situation, in fact it is us who is controled.

547. Julie I am blown away! Literally blown away by so many aspects of what you have shared. I’m actually not sure that I can do you the justice that you deserve for this article. There are so many layers to it, that is I were to read it every day for the next year I would get something new each time. The depth you have gone into is incredible, your understanding of yourself is amazing and what you share on the topic of control is masterful. My comment feels totally inadequate but hopefully you get my gist.

548. ‘My body is here to support me through my life and to keep me functioning beautifully for the purpose I was made for, and that is to bring love to humanity.’ Julie what a powerful and deeply beautiful blog you have shared here. Knowing our purpose is to bring love to humanity certainly makes feeling responsible for our choices more inspiring. ✨

     1. ‘Knowing our purpose is to bring love to humanity certainly makes feeling responsible for our choices more inspiring.’ – I agree Kathryn. This responsibility is a joy to accept as we know that our commitment to learning and growing together about the choices we make is for the purpose of deepening of our connection to the Love of us All, All that we are and All that we are together.

        1. Yes Carola and don’t you just love the fact that we are doing this together 🙂

        2. Absolutely Kathryn – I do : )

549. Love how relatable your blog is Julie as who hasn’t found themselves in a situation of anxiety and blamed the situation/event/circumstance for creating it. When you bring it back to being our choice, that we actually choose this, it is a powerful revelation. I feel beginning to see our self-responsibility and choosing to live in a loving way towards self is a massive step forward in us choosing to live and be all we were and have ever meant to have been – our innate and beautiful self.

550. This is a beautiful blog Julie, control is definitely something that holds us back from being who we are, I can feel how much tension it creates. To constantly try to keep on the ball, and don’t let anything just go and see what my body will present eventually. I can feel it is about a surrendering to my body, and that what I truly am, Love.

551. ‘Now that I am choosing to step up in my self-responsibility and claiming more and more my part in situations, I can feel the huge difference in my body and how spacious it feels to claim myself back from the thoughts that will take me down the blaming path and away from my own wise, inner counsel. Now at those times when I can feel myself wanting to blame, I remind myself what is really being asked of me here, and keep it really simple and honouring of my body and its true function.’ Wonderful and timely reminder, thank you Julie.

552. “No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” This is so powerful, and so true. There is much to learn from this statement for it shows us not to look out and blame others but to take true responsibility for ourselves not only in what we do and say but also in how we hold ourselves.

     1. I love this too Jenny; “No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” A huge lesson to learn and apply in my everyday life. It is always our own choice to stay with the foundation we already have build in our body and to just confirm this every time we take the responsibility to stay with ourselves.

553. This is just what I needed to read today Julie — perfect timing! I was just contemplating who and how I got myself into a drive to complete a piece of work and how much I tightened and hardened as a result. Reading your blog has helped me go deeper with what has been revealed for me here — the strive for recognition running the show instead of me accepting and hence surrendering to the grandness that I am — and letting this instruct the way instead of the tension to achieve a desired outcome. Quite a big learning and your blog is an enormous support.

554. I have never heard this before and love it ‘As Helena Roosevelt has been quoted as saying, “No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” It says it all really. It is great you have seen that the hardening and control is a choice you are making. How Awesome is that! It is very empowering because we then know that we have the power to change this, easy. I am learning more and more how I cannot blame the outside world, like nearly being late for an appointment, I cannot blame the traffic it was me leaving late and not giving myself enough time in the morning .. all great learnings that do not include giving ourselves a hard time but instead the clarity to see what we need to change.

555. I love how you said Julie that you don’t need a fixed picture of how things are going to look but instead choose to stay connected with your body and from there access the innate deep wisdom inside. So rather than trying to fit things into how we want them to be we respond to what is needed.

556. I have tied myself in knots at times over something I have had to do – resisting like crazy and either finally doing it with a massive amount of anxiety coursing through my body, or giving up and not doing it. Both result in a feeling of blissful relief – which is not relief about the task being completed, but relief that I have let go of the struggle and resistance in my body so it can just be.

557. It is a very simple equation isn’t it. Blame + Struggle = Irresponsibility.

558. Such an awesome exposee of how doing and drive is a form of control – which then begs the question why we have such a need for control: what are we running away from? 😉

559. I love what you’ve shared here Julie. Trying to control life can never truly work, as we live on a planet with over 7 billion other people and it’s impossible to influence everything to happen as we want it to! There are many different ways we try to control things, be it through manipulating situations, pushing our bodies past what’s comfortable to achieve something or even trying to be persuasive and persistent with others to try and make them understand our point, and all of these have an impact on our body. As you’ve shared often it can cause hardness and protection, thus meaning we are less loving and open in relationships with others. It’s super important to let go of the need for control, as it creates such a strong resistance in us to the possibility that things occur for a reason.

560. Julie, I love the relationship you now have with your body. It is there, solid and strong, and all you have to do is choose to stay with it. Just gorgeous.

561. Perfect, because this is where the blaming becomes obsolete and disproven. Nothing occurs to us without us first given some sort of consent.

562. Awareness and feeling my body respond to what is happening in every moment is the key for me, I can notice too often I override my feelings and pretend they are not there. Yet each time I acknowledge my bodies response to a situation it creates more space within my body. If we are feelers, constantly aware beyond the accepted norm, it almost seems crazy not to accept and honour that we know much more than is considered we can know. Our sixth sense is something that I feel we should all start to accept is real and happening with our every breath.

563. ‘My body is my love barometer and my greatest guide’ Love this Julie and will take this into my day as I currently have a task at work that I have been trying to get ‘done’ at the expense of my body with predictably negative results. Thank you for this lovely reminder to let go of control and surrender and allow the unfolding of something far greater than my puny attempts to control an outcome could ever imagine.

     1. This is amazing Helen! Trying to control things is so not as beautiful as seeing the bigger picture, which always is far grander than what I thought or hoped things would be. Our ‘pictures’ of life are indeed very limiting!

564. A great exposing of how our busy minds like to control what I would call everyday situations let alone the jobs/tasks we take on in addition to that eg exams, extra studies etc. “building consistent steadiness” that feels like a more solid foundation is being created and the key to enabling us to slow down and take stock of what is truly happening within our amazing bodies. Then the finished task/job is more of our own choosing not the disjointed, rushed dictated results of our busy minds.

565. Aha Julie, I love the aha moments, when I realise something that has been under my nose staring me in the face and feels so obvious now but I have previously been ignoring it. This control issue is a great one to understand and not control but simply allow to flow and let go of.

566. I love bringing it all back to working on our self-responsibility – this is very apt for me at work currently.

     1. Me too, Michael. Once I have stopped reacting to a situation which occurred yesterday where I had an intense meeting with my employers, I can see the bigger truth that is presented in the opportunity. That I can step up, open my eyes/see with fresh eyes my role and responsibilities at work and how this impacts not only my fellow workers but the whole organisation. I can’t diminish any longer how one individual really and truly affects the functioning of the whole.

     2. I agree Michael about bringing everything back to our own self-responsibilty. I have a sense that we are each the centre of the Universe and in some strange way it is us that is conjuring life up.

567. “No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Is a very apt and strong quote. I realise just how much in my life I have made this investment and given my consent all over the place!

     1. This is an awesome reminder to reflect on how often we give consent to unloving choices that distorts truth and to then bring more awareness so we can re-imprint what is not love.

568. Our body is the ultimate guide of truth, a truth we all deep down know. So why do we go to such extremes levels to override, dull or numb it? What is it that we don’t want to feel? The fact that we walked away from God? Or the fact we are not knowingly making the simple choices to live the divine glory we all are and can so easily be.

     1. A great call Gyl. Our investment in self, in self-identification is how we fall from the grace of living the Divinity we are born to live, as equal Sons of God. It is through our bodies that we are guided to heal this separation in order to return to our natural way of being and living once again.

569. The simplicity of being is way more powerful than anything else.

     1. Breathing our own breath and living our own rhythm is precious beyond measure.

     2. Absolutely Gyl, there is so much potential and true power within one stop moment. Pure magic.

570. What you share here about ‘not giving up’ is important Julie Chang. It can be easy to reinterpret the meaning of surrender into giving up – but surrendering to our own grandness is far from giving up and much more about embodying our true power and allowing that to unfold within us. Well said.

     1. This is a great point Richard – ‘surrendering to our own grandness is far from giving up and much more about embodying our true power and allowing that to unfold within us.’ – beautifully said. The interesting point is that we are always surrendering to something, either way, to that which we know is true or to that which we are avoiding to know, and so we are always making a choice. There is a natural and true power that comes from surrendering that to which we know is true rather than the dis-empowerment that comes from avoiding that which we know is true.

571. When I go into creating a drama out of something, labelling it good or bad, making it difficult and complicated I think of the phrase ‘making a meal out of things’ which I rather playfully convert to ‘making a me-all out of things’. So much simpler to keep the ‘chef’ out of things and ‘being me in my preciousness and Love’ as you share Julie Chang.

     1. Richard I love your play on words – it s so true that when we make it about the “me-all” in everything then away falls appreciation, away falls honesty and connection with others, and it all becomes about me me me rather than a true purpose for our being here. What a learning! Love it!

     2. Love that richardmills!!

572. My drive is just to finish the task …. I know this old habit too well, and have to be oh so observant because otherwise before I know it, I am in the driving mode again which has not quality, no stillness and no clarity.

573. Thank you for this Julie Chang – just what I needed to read this morning. Isn’t the body an amazing thing. It tells us so much if we truly listen to it – as you have so ably demonstrated here.

     1. Yes I agree Richardmills363, our bodies are incredible, simply divine, and intelligent and constantly revealing the truth. Our best guide to life is to listen to our body and trust what we feel.

574. The need to control comes from my small self, in other words my spirit. When I take responsibility for my life and my choices I am coming from my grandness. All boils down to what energy we are choosing and aligning to in any given moment. We all have the power of free will to choose.

575. Wow Julie, this is very beautiful to read, I can very much relate to what you have written, I am aware that if I have a technical issue that I can go into panic and label it as a huge problem, I have noticed that if I do this then I cannot resolve the issue, because I am stuck in the panic, if I stay calm and steady and simply work on what needs to be done i find that I can surprise myself and resolve the issue.

576. It never ceases to amaze me that one choice, in this case the choice to control, can have such a huge and often detrimental impact on the body, with every part of it being affected by the consequences; so introducing self responsibility into the equation offers us the opportunity to make a different choice and therefore a much different outcome.

     1. Absolutely Ingrid. Introducing self-responsibility is such a loving and empowering choice.

577. Your blog Julie brought up in me felt how much life and a quadratic equation have in common. The solution to the equation has two numbers for the answer; the correct answer can be both – one can be correct or the other one, and both can be wrong. The end result is just what it is, there is no control… just a representation of what is true.

     1. I think I understand what you are saying Steve?! The point being that it is not about right or wrong but about which is true. My picture of a quadratic equation is a sort of eternal merry-go-round, a prison of fact if you like, where you can spend forever debating and defending the right or wrong of both answers. And whilst doing that you are in perfect control of the whole situation, knowing everything there is to know about these complicated formulas and advanced maths; meanwhile, the truth, joy and expanse of life awaits the person who is prepared to contemplate that perhaps neither answer is right?!

578. When someone is tense and rigid they can easily crack but when they are relaxed, surrendered and supple they can find their natural rhythm.

579. This is a gorgeous blog Julie, full of practical, every day wisdom. ‘Lately I am noticing that when there is something that needs to be resolved and I don’t feel in control of the outcome, I start to harden in my body and become stressed.’ I can so relate to this. I have felt so many times in life that the feeling that stress would suddenly engulf me and once it was in it was so hard to get rid off. But it is a choice to let it in and it’s a choice to let it out. It was an invitation and I would encourage it to stay. In a strange way stress has also felt so functional. Suddenly I could seem so focused on what I was doing because I was absolutely bound by the task at hand and whatever busyness I was in. But everything feels hard and painful in the body and we are far away from being with ourselves. I am learning not to choose stress and undertanding that choosing stress is a means to control and exposes it as the absurdity that it is.

580. This is a beautiful definition of control and how ridiculous the concept is, Julie. The moment I think that I am in control of a situation, I simply have allowed that situation to control me.

     1. Yes Felix this demonstrates clearly just how illusion works.

     2. And in those two lines felixschumacher you have divinely exposed the whole game. No-one is less in control than the person who thinks he has it all under control. Boom!

581. Wanting to get on with the next thing, rather than staying with the present task in hand is also something I can relate to. However making different choices about how I live has greatly supported me with this, thus taking more self-responsibility for how I am, not only with myself but with others. Thanks to Serge Benhayon for showing us there is another way.

     1. We usually relate responsibilty only to what and how we do things less for who we are – that makes a fundamental difference.

582. I can so relate to not wanting to feel what my body is telling me, and choosing distraction as a way of avoiding responsibility. Returning to knowing that everything we feel is now a choice is big, but also places the ball firmly back in my court. Great blog, thank you Julie.

583. This blog also has brought my attention into the hardness and tension I can bring into my body when I have a hard physical job ahead. It doesn’t make the job any easier but it does effect the body in a negative way. Before Universal Medicine I really wasn’t aware ther was another way of tackling a hard task, but now I know any job can be carried out with gentleness and without hardening up or leaving yourself.

     1. That’s a great observation Kevmchardy, I have noticed that the same hardening effect can happen even whilst sitting at a computer which clearly does not have the physical aspect of manual labour. As soon as I know I have to get a bout of paperwork finished by a deadline and if I am not careful I can feel the tension and the hardness come in, then comes the override not to feel which says ‘this feels awful in my body but I will just have to deal with it later and push through to finish’….. I am working on the fact that it can take three hours to do the paperwork and I can either do that feeling tense or I can feel gentle, either way it is still going to take three hours – probably longer if I am stressed with the added discomfort.

     2. I can relate with this kevmchardy – we manufacture the tension and tightness into the body and all it actually does is contract the body and make it very hard to move with ease in any physical work – housework, gardening, building etc! Keeping the body surrendered to the grandness is infinitely preferable.

     3. I know this one too Kev, my job can ask a lot of hard physical tasks. I know I can prepare myself lovingly to support my body but I am not always choosing this support and then the old way of hardening seems to be the only way but it always causes tension and I loose my breath, the connection with myself.

     4. I agree kevmchardy, we have the ability within us to take on any task and come back to the tenderness within us it is about developing a marker in our bodies of what it feels like to surrender and connect to our essence and then it is a choice for us to connect to that or react to the tension we are faced with.

     5. Absolutely a great point Kevmchardy! I’ve also felt my body tense up when I’m going to do something that requires strength, but if I trust my body and accept that I won’t be hurt then it is fine.

     6. Great point! It’s not hard to believe that most people live this way, we harden our bodies when we go somewhere or need to do something, all to avoid feeling we are sensitive and don’t really have control!

584. Surrendering to your own grandness and wisdom sounds a lot more fun than the tension caused by trying to control.

     1. Great point kevmchardy. When we consider that the control is avoiding surrendering to more love and wisdom it just does not make sense.

     2. Great point kevmchardy. The insanity of all of this control is what we are denying ourselves.

     3. ABSOLUTELY!

585. A timely read for me to read this blog today – thank you. As I am feeling and processing something which feels like something I want to run from feeling but am staying with my body as I know this is the greatest support and I know this feeling will pass as I allow myself to feel all of it. Your blog and reading it today was a confirmation for me.

586. Wow Julie – I just love this so much and will read and re-read it. This week my body has been asking me to take more responsibility with the rhythm of my day and take me to a livingness where there is less rush. I can see now by reading this blog, the control I go into and how I blame my busy life and demanding job. But what I am missing is that I am not taking full responsibility for building a loving rhythm. And it has been a huge momentum to shift – but now I know that my love was not quite at a level to give myself the additional space to complete tasks and so I was choosing to be late and experience the rush. I did not want to feel this sabotage and non-loving attitude towards myself, so chose to blame so many other things. Thank you deeply – this will change my life forever.

587. A simply gorgeous and divine sharing Julie. Thank you. I love the graciousness of these words ‘ a love that only knows how to be itself.’ Very deliciously said.

588. There’s no need for any picture of how that might look like, just a choice to stay with my body, breathe my breath and allow my innate, deep wisdom to guide me.- A very inspiring sentence here for me Julie, Thank you.

589. ‘The problem with the ‘needing to control’ theory is that I have to constantly control as much as I can in order to feel any sort of achievement or okayness, but that state is very short-lived and it needs to be constantly fed.” I am struck by what you are saying here about how this need for control has to be constantly fed. This is so true and it is extremely exhausting. So many people are walking around trying to control things so that they do not get hurt. The only way through it is to deal with our hurts.

     1. Such a great point Elizabeth! The need to control must constantly be fed otherwise it does not exist! We are always responsive to life and are making decisions, rather than controlling outcomes. It would be much wiser to say, “The action of choosing the quality of how we live in one moment will constellate more moments of this quality, and the need for control is not sought when one knows the quality, because if the correct quality is chosen the end result is guaranteed”

     2. Beautifully said, Elizabeth. We would treat each other very differently if we simply dealt with our hurts and then were able to be open and navigate our way through life by feeling rather than play the ‘control freak’ as I know I have in the past.

590. I have long had a thing with control. I have felt the need to control everything as that gave me a false sense of comfort that everything would be ok. This has created much tension and pain in my life and I have made some amazing changes with this in recent years. Control still seems to raise its head every now and then but the difference is that now I can see it straight away and look to the deeper issue of what is going on.

591. If I choose to blame the situation or thing, I am only doing this because that deflects away from the fact that I don’t wish to feel that I haven’t taken full responsibility for my feelings and am thus using the situation as the reason for my tension.- This is such a powerful sentence here. Responsibilty is hiding under the situation or thing as you describe.

592. I am sitting at the airport, and it’s great to feel the support of this blog while observing how I am reacting to what other people are doing around me and want to blame them for spoiling how I am feeling. Learning to put my responsibility into practice straight away.

     1. great point Fumiyo, we cant control what people around us are doing so its pointless being upset about it. Yes there may be unpleasant situations, I’m also learning that I can feel and be aware of these, instead of reacting to what is there.

593. I know very well how exhausting it is to be constantly on the guard to make sure everything around me goes according to how I want it to be. There’s constant anxiety and disappointment, and any moment of satisfaction is short-lived and untrusted.

     1. Yes Fumiyo, it takes a huge amount of energy to keep that guard up all the time, and add into the mix the emotional ups and downs that come with it and it’s easy to see it really isn’t a sustainable or fulfilling way to live in the world.

     2. This is so true Fumiyo. When we are driven to control everything it is constantly exhausting as nothing truly is ever enough. As even the perceived achievements we seek are momentarily lived, as you say, an investment that needs to be constantly fed.

     3. So, so true Fumiyo. Especially the last bit. If you got there through control then there is actually no joy in the arrival or completion.

     4. Yes and then to compensate we seek entertainment which checks us even more out and leaves us even more unsatisfied. The joy and contentment we feel in ourselves when we live a very simple life impulsed by the divine has been unknown to me before Universal Medicine and no form of lifestyle was ever giving me not even the slightest feeling of joy I hold today in my body 24/7.

594. What a great blog Julie you really get underneath and expose our need to control and how it affects the body. I recognise the scenario of wanting to find an answer and how controlling this can become. I am now aware as soon as there even a smidgeon of wanting to control something I can feel a tension as I leave my body to go into my head. Once there the thoughts take over making sure I stay in stuck in my mind. I am now much quicker at catching this so that I no longer stay stuck in my mind and am able to drop back into my body.

595. Brilliant blog, Julie. I got to feel how disempowering and irresponsible it is to find myself in a situation and see that as the problem or whatever that is causing me to become what I am not.

596. This blog is so gorgeous! Really enjoyed reading it. It reminds me of countless examples in my own life of trying to control the situation before me with my mind (as if mind control ever did work!), rather than simply honour what I already knew was the truth in that situation as my body was telling me so, loud and clear

     1. Letting go of control I realise can also bring up old hurts and pain we have felt in past situations we do not wish to feel. But better to feel and heal than to be owned and controlled by the illusion that we are in control.

     2. ‘I have lived life from reaction and now I’m re educating myself to stop and observe what’s going on before me.’ It is great to admit that that was our way of living and to truly see it has and will not serve us. My body is very clear with giving me headaches and sore kidneys telling me I give my power away to a source that leads me nowhere. My body knows love so well.

     3. well said Joshua, our bodies are in constant communication of the truth and wisdom within ,we just need to align and care for them in a way that we can connect to that simplicity of living.

        1. So simple, yet so powerful

597. The key I feel could be judgment. Many of us have a habit of overriding our bodies and this is ‘normal’. Becoming aware of all the aspects and then, without judgment, choosing to behave differently is the key.

     1. Yes beautifully said Christoph. I am becoming more aware how I often stop at the point of being aware and stay stuck there. Feeling the freedom I have then to make a different choice and making it is what I am learning at the moment.

     2. Absolutely Christoph unlearning these engrained behaviours takes presence, understanding and loving curiosity.

     3. For me that is absolutely the key Christoph, the judgements I put on my own behaviour are causing that I step out of observing myself and life and thus choose to continue the disregard of this way of living.

     4. I agree Christoph. Judgement has appeared to me as actually a clever way of avoiding responsibility. I can wallow in the pity or fury of self-judgement rather than getting on with choosing a different way.

598. Any idea or outcome that comes to our mind is a distraction from whom and where we are and takes us somewhere that our body cannot go, hence we become anxious as we have left our body.

     1. As Julie shares, it’s a lack of responsibility to be present in that moment. The question is, why are we are choosing to avoid responsibility? Would we then see how much of a mess the world is in and the part we played in it?

599. For a good part of my life I have been living like a sponge and absorbing life then trying to mold a life from there, trying to get ahead of the game. This caused much stress and body tension and the consequences were as clear as day. Learning to observe life and live it from my inner being completely changed everything. My life now appears or looks the same, but so much changed. So much to write about in this blog Julie, great reading.

     1. I can certainly relate here Matthew, the great part of life is that our bodies will always tell us what is taking place should we choose to listen and life becomes very simple when we do. I have also had to really stop myself and appreciate all the changes that I have made in my life, as it can be easy to think that nothing much is different unless there are big visual changes.

     2. The sponge is a good analogy Matthew, we could say we want to be like a sponge in the sink and not get wet, to paraphrase another saying. The more of life we take on the heavier we become and so the more effort it requires to function in our everyday. Being like the heavy sponge makes life much tougher as everyday tasks become harder from the weight of the world we carry. If we observe life then it becomes much less heavy and easier to live.

600. Realising that tension is a choice is extremely liberating in that we now have the opportunity to make a different choice.

     1. Donna, this is a great point because in the end it comes down to it all being about the choices that we are making. This level of responsibility is where humanity needs to go to in order to deal with the mess that we are in.

        1. I agree ladies, the choice factor is key, it stops the blame game in its tracks and empowers us. In truth as this blog outlines, nobody can really do anything to us, unless some part of us allows it.

        2. This is exactly where humanity needs to go but the problem is that many do not want to take responsibility as this would mean they have to deal with their hurts and stop the blame game.

     2. So simply put Donna, but oh so very wise. It all comes down to a choice and the choice that I make will either harden my body some more or, as you say be “extremely liberating”.

        1. And simply recognising that we have a choice in itself can change how our body responds.

     3. I agree Donna, but even just the starting point of realising that there is tension there in the first place and having awareness of how our body feels is a huge step into being aware and then being able to make a choice to change it.

     4. Yes I agree for sure it helps to know it is a choice. When I’m feeling tense or stressed the first thing I do is know that it doesn’t help to be that way and know that I can let it go. Just doing that helps open things up and then I can feel clearly the next step to take.

601. Thank you Julie for a blog that exposes so much of the tension that I go into when I am working on completing a task. I can very much relate to all that you have shared here. I agree with you that there is such a gorgeousness and yumminess in working from our stillness where one thing simply flows to the next rather than the constant tension that is felt when we work from control. They are miles apart and your blog has brought more awareness to the importance of committing to coming back to our connection to our body as the place in which we surrender from.

     1. I can relate too Donna. I feel almost trained to focus exclusively on the answer and the outcome in work and study, instead of focusing on myself. What tension it creates leaving our connection to our beautiful self, all for the sake of an assignment or task, and getting it “right”. It’s a joy to read the blog and responses knowing we are all working on this and sharing our livingness, we have so much to learn from one another.

602. Hi Julie, I too am studying at the moment and if I get caught up in my thoughts of ” I don’t know” or “I will never get all this done” then I do struggle. If I simply tackle one question at a time, stay with my body, commit to completing, knowing how capable I am then the space opens up, the answers come or I know exactly were to go to find them. I can totally relate to your blog. Thank you

     1. Yes marylouisemyers. I have the same with meetings that require some preparation before them. More and more I am seeing that it is not about the preparation, but about how I am with myself before, and as, I come to the meeting. If I get that true, then everything that I need for the meting is there for me. It’s amazing…and requires letting go of that control.

        1. Thanks Otto, there’s a big different between getting true answers or getting the true you.

        2. Yes Otto and Mary- Louise and we need not stop at meeting and studies for what you are sharing here is a recipe for addressing life in general. It is really is about practicing being fully present to the best of our ability in every moment and knowing that all we need will be there in that moment.

        3. Well summed up, Kathleen. No pressure, just self love and connection.

        4. I love what you are all writing here….this is a big one for me as well. Letting go of the control to be more about being present and committing to completing and more on the quality of who I am and what I am bringing than the pressure of knowing it all.

        5. …(following on from kathleenbaldwin)…and always was there, and always will be there.

        6. A friend just told me a brilliant story about a famous German conductor who was having flying lessons. He had got the plan (i spell checked this comment before sending it – but decided to leave this ‘mistake’ – without the ‘e’!!) up in the air, done everything right, and now the plane was flying. He turns to his instructor and says “so, now what do I need to do?” To which the instructor replies “nothing, just let the plane fly.” I love this story and what it tells us about getting ourselves out of the way. (The composer took this to his orchestra and changed the way he worked with them, realising that there were many times when he didn’t need to do any conducting – let the musicians fly – beautiful.)

     2. one step at a time, if we take care of the moment we are in the next is guaranteed. It doesn’t get much more complicated than that!

        1. And if we feel instead of having images and thoughts about what has to be done next, we know exactly what to do and where to be or what to say as it comes from our body instead of our mind.

        2. The simplicity is exquisite and allows for a deep surrender to the quality of each moment.

     3. I can relate to how simply you have shared this Mary-Louise and love how you highlight ‘knowing that you are capable’ as I feel that is super important, connecting to that knowing, it just comes.

        1. We are often way more capable than we ever give ourselves credit for and if we allow our mind to tell us so, we believe it and live only a tiny part of the powerful whole that we could be… in other words, we really are just playing it small.

        2. We sure are capable of more than we ever give ourselves credit for and I don’t know about you but I for one am sick of playing it small, really has not worked for me thus far.

        3. No kidding! The thing is, if it were our last week in this life…. would we play it small or give it our all? I know I would be going for it… so why wait right?

        4. Great point Rosie!! Its like that saying
           “Live everyday as if it is your last!!” Some people think that means budgy jumping and casinos but to me it means not holding back and being all that I am.

        5. totally Sarah… I would rather take the more responsible choice too, knowing that whatever I do today will affect my tomorrow. Nothing just happens by chance but all because of how I have lived today.

        6. I agree, things happening by “chance” is just a cop out really, the perfect out. There is always a choice that leads us where we end up.

        7. Following on from Kathleen and Otto… as long as we consistently move in a way that will maintain our quality…true movement.

        8. Beautiful and True, thank you Mary- Louise.

        9. Agree Sarah if we move in a way that connects us to our true quality then we do not let in these false images that we have of ourselves, like we are stupid, as there is no truth to those thoughts, we allow them in from the astral plane. It is a game we play to not take responsibility for the extraordinary intelligence we naturally are.

     4. Yes and it is the surrendering to ourselves that connects us to the knowing. The answers are all there and we can connect to them when we are connected to ourselves and our body. We live with this “cortocircuito” (short circuit) and are struggling so much with the consequences instead of getting our connections right.

     5. I’m studying too and my task is to produce what is surely one of the most confounding pieces of work known to man – the research thesis. I can feel how it, and the university as a whole, is set up to tell us, over and again, that no matter what we do or how ‘well’ we do it, we are never enough – this is apparent even once you’ve ‘made it’ in academia (if that’s where you’re headed) in the form of the belief that ‘you’re only as good as your last paper’ meaning your last, successful publication in a peer-reviewed journal. This is a very challenging consciousness to work with and developing a rock-solid understanding that we are already enough is key to getting through the process relatively unscathed.

        1. I should add I have heard, from someone who knows, that half the thesis students – and their academic supervisors – she sees are on anti-depressants. This is a sad state of affairs, when we are championing a way of working that has such a debilitating impact on people. What are we allowing here?

603. “My drive is just to finish the task but I don’t like how my body is feeling while I am having this thought: my right shoulder is up, I’m even holding my breath, I feel a hardness inside and I feel that my body is using a lot of effort to achieve this because of my intention to just get the task done.” Just reading this alone Julie it’s easy to see how we can become so exhausted even while sitting sedentary performing a task. A beautiful awareness you’re offering in this sharing.

     1. That part echoes very well what I experienced when I sat for an exam a few months ago. I could feel how much tension I was having to employ in order to answer and complete all the questions. It was very uncomfortable for my body, yet there was a familiarity that reminded me how it used to be VERY important for me to get the highest mark as I possibly could because that was the only way I knew to be recognized and I craved for that, and how I was abandoning myself in doing so.

        1. Driving ourselves from our mind for some external deadline or outcome… we treat our body as an expendable, disposable by-product of the process that absolves us from our responsibility… that is the lie we tell ourselves.

     2. Absolutely. The way I feel at the end of a day has zero correlation to what I have done. A

        1. What I mean is that a seemingly quiet day can leave me exhausted whereas a day that is packed full of action and activity leaves me feeling great at the end of the day. or vice versa. The point being, as you so rightly say deborahmckay, and as this blog so perfectly explains is that it is all about the way we do whatever we do and the intention and honesty and responsibility behind each and very single movement. That is what will decree how we feel when we come to the end of our day.

     3. I agree Deborahmckay, what Julie has shared is such an amazing awareness and makes sense of why so many people feel anxious and exhausted within life. It becomes evident when expressed this way that this current way of being and living doesn’t support us to be all that we are in the world. Choosing presence, taking stop moments and allowing our selves to feel our bodies offers us such a support, as we can become aware of these patterns of control and lack of responsibility for self and begin to see that everything in life begins with how we connect to self first.

     4. I agree Deborah, living with expectations is exhausting!

     5. Absolutely, exhaustion is not coming from the amount of work or tasks that we have to do, but from the quality we are doing it in. I remember the times when I used to hang out the whole day at the beach, being totally exhausted at the end of the day from doing nothing but being in an uncaring and draining energy.

     6. Yes indeed. It’s a feeling I am, sadly, all too familiar with and can confirm is exhausting. If reading this article is a first step to developing awareness, the second surely is the active development of an on-going connection with our bodies so we can notice when we move away from our natural state of ease. And if we can’t yet feel ease, this needs to be something we also work on and with.

     7. Deborah your comment made me reflect on the corporate yoga classes that I teach. Even though people have been sitting down all morning they come in and then lay down and most people’s bodies are pretty hard and knotted up, especially up around the shoulder blades, neck and right up the back of the head. A lot of people are under the impression that their tightness is as a result of sitting for long periods but as Julie has shared it comes from the drive and nervous tension that they go into to get their work done.

604. Imagine a leaf trying to control a tree. This is the level of absurdity we go into, attempting to steer and manipulate life. A leaf is an equal and beautiful part of the greater whole. And so when we see we too are this, why would we ever need control? Thank you for supporting me to see our natural wonder Julie.

     1. What a great analogy Joseph, it really does make our need for control so absurd.

        1. Yes great analogy Joseph. Leaves always surrender to the wind. There is like a trust to be carried and no investment in where or how they land.

        2. Beautiful Joseph, and Annie. It is one of the most spectacular spectacles to observe a leaf fall to the ground in front of you. If you relate this to the body and know everything is passing through us at that one moment, all the thoughts from love to the insanity of separation to all others, it makes sense to surrender to the delicateness of God’s love than to individualize those separative thoughts that keep us hard.

     2. I love it Joseph, you can’t help but see the absurdity, it’s totally ridiculous when you look at it that way – and an exhausting way to live.I have this image of a leaf constantly trying to control the tree – and being totally exhausted and drained at the end of the day. The leaf would miss out on seeing the beautiful birds singing in the tree, or a glorious sunrise or sunset, not to mention all the people walking by, and lots of others things too. Imagine just how much effort and space is taken up in trying to control everything, not to mention the oodles of joy, magic, stillness and simplicity you’d miss out on too.

        1. As absurd is the leaf that says “I am less because I am not the tree” even though it is an essential part of the tree and contributes to the overall grandness. As soon as it separates itself, it’s lost!

        2. Hah! Thank you for taking the gorgeous analogy given by Joseph to yet another level Gyl. I can see a cartoon of that a leaf so adamantly trying to control the tree all day, with a determined frown and completely oblivious to all the harmony and flow around it. Being tugged all the time to join in the harmony and flow, yet doggedly determined to hold on to the control. Can not miss how awful and exhausting this way of relating to life is.

     3. ‘A leaf is an equal and beautiful part of the greater whole.’ Thank you Joseph for illustrating so well how ridiculous are our attempts to control life. No wonder we are so exhausted!

     4. Oh! That’s superb Joseph. I will never forget that. Thank you.

     5. Wooaah. That is an ace analogy Joseph. Love it. Perfectly exposes the ridiculousness of the game that we are playing. Taking it further (and this might start to get silly), there are very few leaves that will tell the one leaf that it isn’t in control of the tree. Because if that leaf is in control (avoiding responsibility) then all the other leaves can feel that they are in control (avoid responsibility). My point being that all the leaves help maintain the illusion, so that they don’t have to feel their responsibility either. That is how the world is set up. We are all leaves, kidding ourselves that we control the tree!

        1. Love this too Otto, not silly at all, you are showing how we live in the total opposite to how the world is meant to be, we arrogantly think we are in control of what is going on in the world (the leaves) when it is in fact the other way around, but our lack of awareness and our arrogance to accept this is the case means we maintain the illusion and no one knows any different.

        2. You’d think the fact that the leaves fall off the tree every year might teach us whose running the show?!

        3. As silly as it sound it is true ottobathurst – we all taken a ‘leave from our senses’. No one leaf controls the tree. When will we ‘leave’ this nonsense behind and join the tree as equals.

        4. Loving your play on words. Super cute. AND super accurate. Which is a pretty ace combination.

        5. Nice one Otto.

     6. Love this analogy Joseph – it brought a deep chuckle from within with the total absurdity of this happening.
        “Imagine a leaf trying to control a tree”.

     7. I love it Joseph! I Iove the comedy of a leaf convinced it is controlling a tree. This reminds me just how comical we really are when we caught in our self importance.

     8. How beautiful Joseph, and when you’re an equal part of the greater whole, like the leaf is on the tree, when we surrender we simply allow ourselves to be part of the magnificent order we come from, which nurtures, cares for and loves each part.

        1. Melinda the comments just keep taking me deeper and deeper. What you have shared ‘when we surrender we simply allow ourselves to be part of the magnificent order we come from, which nurtures, cares for and loves each part’, really allowed me to feel how we constantly have to fight to not feel that we are part of the whole. If we simply surrendered then we would just be naturally absorbed back into the body of God, which we are in anyway but we kick and buck and struggle which gives us the illusion that we are not already in the body of God. And we’re all doing it constantly because if we stopped struggling then we would relax back into the knowing that we are all part of the everything.

     9. This is a beautiful analogy Joseph, and shows the arrogance of the leaf even attempting to control the tree.

     10. Woa Joseph what a great analogy, love it. It is exhausting just to imagine that a leaf is trying to control the tree. It shows the absurdity of how we are choosing to live and the force that comes with this individualized desire to control instead of living in the flow of the greater universal order. It also shows how we do not serve if we go against the flow and how harming it is.

     11. And thank-you Joseph, your words are rich and deeply wise, and as always beautifully shared.

     12. whoa I love your analogy Joseph! Beautiful.

     13. Beautiful Joseph, it just made me laugh, ‘Imagine a leaf trying to control a tree.’ No wonder I get terrible headaches and become exhausted when I donot surrender to my body.

     14. Awesome analogy Joseph – illustrates so well the level of arrogance we can have in the way we approach life.

         1. Well put, Michael. I can feel that arrogance within me when I am controlling – I can make a decision for someone else without asking because it makes me feel safe. Not very considerate in the least!

     15. That’s a very cool way of putting it Joseph – it would be absurd for the leaf to spend all of its time trying to control the tree when there is a flower blooming on the end right in front of it’s eyes. We miss out on appreciating ourselves when we focus on control.

     16. Thank you Joseph! For such a simple yet profound and life changing analogy… when you put it like that it really is absurd. No wonder humanity is in the state we are.

     17. Beautifully said Joseph, it is exhausting going into control and easy to get caught up in the illusion of it all but our bodies never lie and they are constantly communicating we have diverted from our true essence of love.

     18. Cracker analogy Joseph! This explains the level of exhaustion we feel when we attempt control rather than surrender. What an enormous amount of energy the leaf would need to call upon in order to attempt to control the tree. That would be one strained and overwhelmed leaf – perhaps needing a lot of re-leaf!

605. Being in control of my environment in order to stay safe is something I have worked hard at. As I realise that control is an illusion, I am slowly placing myself into circumstances where I can surrender that control and still know I am safe.

     1. Or simply surrender, regardless of safety.

     2. Thats the key knowing that safety comes by surrendering to and trusting our body.

        1. Gorgeously expressed Gyl and Heather, and something I too am learning to live.

        2. Yes Gyl that is the key but it does feel like a big leap when you have spent your life controlling everything to avoid being hurt! It is beautiful to read blogs like this that support the knowing that it really is the way forward.

        3. Yes Gyl, we can make choices that are in complete mistrust of the body. This can be as simple as not saying hello to someone as we feel to or not speaking up when we feel to, not going to bed when we are tired, the list is endless. Trusting and surrendering to our body is like giving ourselves a gift.

        4. Yes Gyl, how often do we hold back from going there through surrendering. We cannot stop feeling. Surrendering is a great honour to yourself, your own good will to yourself, to feel what you know and read life for the truth it is. Why hold that back?

     3. I am sure so many people can relate to this level of control, I sure can! It really is amazing when I can just trust myself and trust the way I live to support me in my day to day activities in work. Interestingly this is an area I have been able to let go more of but my control at home I stubbornly hold onto as for me to surrender with my loved ones feels more scary as I can get hurt, protection protection protection. Responsibility, responsibility, responsibility!

        1. I find that I have held myself in protection for so long that it feels comfortable. When I step outside of my comfort zone it’s not so much the situation that I am in, it’s the sensitivity that I feel in my body that I am uncomfortable with.

     4. Beautiful Heather. Control is an absolute illusion, control only puts a cap on our potential.

     5. Agree Heather, when we truly surrender we are held in ourselves and do not even have the feeling of needing safety. It’s like safety is non-existent when we are with ourselves. Letting go of control is and has been a beautiful experience that is consistently deepening.

        1. Rachel I love what you have shared, ‘when we truly surrender we are held in ourselves and do not even have the feeling of needing safety. It’s like safety is non-existent when we are with ourselves’, because it leads me to realise that when we have a need for safety this then reflects to us that we are not with ourselves.

        2. Yes, safety is the ultimate form of creation as it brings us on the false path from the word go and from there all our choices are about safety instead of love. Safety has no love as it is about individuality and how to get the safest way through life. Safety is the opposite of trusting that we are held by an universal order and that there is more to life than the human body.

     6. Yes Heather, I can feel the choice you are making for yourself in this way, you have a beautiful steadiness building. How lovely this feels.

     7. I love your honesty Heather. In being able to express this here I’m guessing for you, as for many of us, this blog site is one place where you know you are safe. What a gift that is.

606. What you have written about is such an interesting topic and worth much discussion. The body tells us so much when we bother to pay attention. I can relate to the tensing in my shoulders and a hardening in my voice when things are not going the way I think they should. I like the way you explain that letting go is not about giving up, but about connecting to that inner wisdom, and seeing how things unfold.

     1. This is the key for me Debra – when I bother to pay attention. I find that when I end up not feeling so well and feeling disconnected I can trace back that for several days I have not been regularly checking in with how I feel in my body. So simple, yet so important for me. Our bodies really are the marker of truth.

607. Love this blog Julie!!! I could relate to so much of what you have expressed especially wanting an outcome so I can feel a sense of achievement. Going into control leaves me feeling hard, small and exhausted. Surrendering and choosing to stay with my natural steadiness leaves me feeling light, flowing, vital and exquisitely beautiful.
     It was very beautiful to feel your own steadiness as I read this blog, thank you dearly Julie 🙂

     1. I find that what works best is to simply notice what is happening, whether my body is hardening or I lose my breath or my nervous system gets excited. The awareness alone already changes things and the more awareness I have the easier it is to make a choice.

        1. I love your simple, practical sharing Christoph.

        2. So true Christoph. Bringing awareness to how we feel is a game-changer. It’s the first step in making changes. Then comes the commitment to those changes and our choice to be responsible or not.

        3. The choice to even notice what is happening is gigantic Christoph. It is the first step towards taking responsibility.

        4. Exactly Christoph it is actually remarkable how much can shift just by bringing awareness to how we are feeling.

        5. Choosing to be aware, which leads to being aware, is such a huge life-changing step. Beautifully expressed Christoph.

        6. We see everything. It is only when we turn a blind eye to that which we don’t want to see that we get consumed by a way of living and expressing that is not true to our essence (love) and therefore cannot truly support us. The way back to the love that we are is to give ourselves permission to once again see and feel that which we have absorbed that has no place in a body of love. For in every moment we have the choice whether to be or not be love. Being aware of what we are choosing is a reflection of how much responsibility we are willing to live.

        7. So true Christoph and so simple. If we keep bringing it back to the body and how we feel in our bodies we can then see the cause of the feeling.

        8. Absolutely agree Christoph, just the fact of being aware changes so much, which shows us that it is all about energy and it is all about our alignment.

        9. The body never lies and we always have the choice to either ignore what it is sharing with us or listen to its wisdom.

        10. Yes Christoph, the awareness is key and what you share here is like saying to your body, you have first say, you have my attention, what do you need?

        11. Our body will always be the only truthful litmus paper test by showing the reaction of our choices on our bodies.

        12. Beautiful Christoph I can so relate to what you have shared with us. Thank you. Awareness is an amazing gift – a life changer if used responsibly.

        13. Awareness, a simple first step.. thank you Christoph.

        14. I love and smile of all the confirmations that it is – in Truth – all about feeling our bodies and that this is actually very simple. My own experience is that for me it is important to allow myself moments during the day to observe if I’m feeling or not. There are many times that it ‘looks good on the outside’, where there’s no connection with me on the inside. I’ve played for a long time a game that I have to pretend to the outside that everything’s fine, where really I’m missing myself and so the lovely warmth inside deeply when not connected. I love what is shared in this blog about the simplicity of feeling our Grandness and how easily our mind slips away when we don’t choose to connect. And from there it’s all about recognition.

        15. Liane you’ve written pure gold, the science of what we do. There is often a pretense, often desperately so, to continue to hide from awareness of our choices by justifying these choices and espousing their merit when actually we are compounding lies on lies.

            Yes, choosing to be aware of this is choosing greater responsiblity. As the awareness deepens then I know there comes a point when I cannot continue with unloving choices; that being love is continuously choosing to be aware, to not be afraid of what is uncovered because we are always supported.

        16. Choosing to stay aware is a great choice.

        17. The choice to be or remain aware is a great step towards responsibility.

        18. True Christoph. Brining awareness to your body is step one, and key to making true and lasting change.

        19. So true Christoph. The interesting thing is so many of us tend to reach for something outside of ourselves to alleviate the tensions we feel, such as food or coffee – which only takes us further from awareness and the potential to choose another way.

        20. Good point here Christoph. The ability to change our behaviour and our choices starts first and foremost with awareness, while focussing on our bodies allows us to connect to this awareness.

        21. Christoph since reading your comment I have noticed many times how my nervous system alerts me to the fact that I have chosen to leave my stillness. It is a very matter of fact, no nonsense warning signal and it happens a lot!

        22. Liane, I love what you shared about our awareness being intrinsically linked to how much we are prepared to be responsible.. for if we see everything and yet choose irresponsibility instead and pretend we don’t, we only delay the lesson the awareness is there to show us and deny the love that is waiting for us should we step into the responsibility

        23. I agree Christoph it works a treat to be with all that your body is responding or reacting to.

        24. Well said, Christoph. It always starts with self awareness. By bringing an awareness to our actions, life and the decisions that come with it becomes clearer.

     2. As could I Bianca, this really is a timely blog Julie and your way of expressing this I have found very supportive. Amazing really to see and feel the complications that we place in our way just to have our way ‘so to speak’ with out checking in on how our bodies actually feel in that moment.

        1. I agree Aminatumi, a timely blog indeed and one that reminds us to be more present with ourselves. Actually taking the time to feel how we are choosing to be in our bodies and as Christoph has shared through this simple awareness we can begin to come back to who we are.

     3. Thank you for sharing this Julie, it is a beautiful blog about our need to control. I love the feeling of letting go of this controlling for an outcome. I have discovered that if I take responsibility for the quality that I bring to any process then the outcome is guaranteed to be in that same quality. The outcome may not look like I thought it would but the quality is there.

        1. Lee what you have highlighted for me is how we have conjured up a world that is absolutely focused on getting an outcome at the expense of how that outcome is achieved. We literally don’t care how we get it, as long as we end up having it. We want it, we strive for it, we clamour for it, we kill for it and yet we’ve lost sight of what it actually is. I wonder if it’s not so much that we are going towards it but more that we are constantly moving away from taking responsibility. It is our not wanting to look behind us that propels us ever forwards into the abyss of it.

     4. That is a beautiful example Bianca, and so it is shown that we are able to live vital, light, flowing and exquisitely beautiful lives without (or the less as possible) control. What stood out for me was this sentence: ”This need to control is something that I convince myself I have to do and that is not actually a truth – it is a pressure that I choose to place onto myself to divert me from the fact that I am not choosing loving self-responsibility in that moment.” So true, control is a pressure we put on ourselves, no one can do that for us. Powerful words.

        1. Danna, why do we put pressure on ourselves? Certainly for me it is to fit in or make up for my past choices. My journey is my own. If I take on or compare myself all I’m looking at is that outside view of a picture i must meet. I leave myself and I’m a gonna. The truth is we are under a cycle of love that supports us in every-way to evolve. No pressure is needed just a commitment and understanding that this is a fact.

        2. Yes Rik, thank you for your honest sharing. For me I know that I every time put pressure on myself when I want to avoid feeling things around me, and or to avoid the responsibility of what I have to do at that moment. It is an easy catch now, yet It is my dedication and commitment to stay with what I feel and be responsible for what I feel and act on it, and to no longer get myself get away with the ‘hiding’ which is not hiding but control. Thank you for the expose Bianca. And thank you Rik for asking this question. Who wants to share next?

     5. ‘Surrendering and choosing to stay with my natural steadiness leaves me feeling light, flowing, vital and exquisitely beautiful.’

        Gorgeous, Bianca. It’s about connecting to (and staying connected to) our bodies, as Julie has shared, and constantly surrendering to what we feel there and to the essence within.

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