578 thoughts on “The Need to Control vs Self-responsibility”

1. Awesome how you claim ‘I am actually surrendering to my own grandness and wisdom’. Trying to control things is such a contraction in our bodies and when we choose to surrender the expansion is instant. I have been observing the areas of my life where I still have a tendency to go into control mode and rather than beating myself up I go ‘Ooops at it again’ and then I have the option to choose surrender and the innate connection to what is being presented for me to address.

2. Whenever we make it about what is externally going to take place we have forgotten ourselves and the importance of staying connected with our bodies so that there is space to move through what is there. When we can just focus on how we are moving and the quality of that movement, the tension drops away, and what then needs to be done, is a joy to do.

3. We always have a choice, I love your new responsibility, ‘I am choosing to step up in my self-responsibility and claiming more and more my part in situations, I can feel the huge difference in my body and how spacious it feels to claim myself back from the thoughts that will take me down the blaming path and away from my own wise, inner counsel.’

4. Timely to read as I have a busy day and don’t know exactly what will be happening, I felt so tense about it, but realising that it is actually about my own resistance to letting go of control and just go with what is there, knowing I will be more than fine in the moment. It is just that wanting to know beforehand and ‘prepare’ or better said control the situation, that makes it a big day not really the day itself. It is our reaction to what we think is coming and the feeling of lack of control over that before the moment is there instead of the activities we have to do at that moment.

5. The need to control comes from a fear of being hurt and is fed by our unresolved hurts, a breeding ground for emotions and reactions.

6. As soon as you start to rush the body, your movements change and your out of the flow. Needing to control is something I am very familiar with also, but there is no flow in control because your actually working against your bodies natural rhythm so its like having an internal tug of war with yourself and your needs, which affects your nervous system and kidneys.

7. As an ex control aficionado, I can attest to the fact that it takes huge amounts of energy to try and control situations, and of course the reality is, your never actually do. I now much prefer allowing myself the space to be and observe, however I still do feel the urge creeping in from time to time. Old habits take a while to get out of your system.

8. Beautiful Alex and to be honest not easy to hear because when we are in the reaction we are in justification and pretty much lost to the mind. So as you further the development of the relationship with the body and connection to quality that brings about the choice in the moment to be free of reaction in the end.

9. Funny I read the blog twice and didn’t read this line until seeing your comment. What a great line it is ‘body as a love barometer’ Keeping it very simple and on point! The body knows love in every cell.

10. It’s gorgeous what you’ve presented about your connection to life and responsibility being your anchor, as opposed to a control/dominance which many people rely on to stay steady. Because, what if our reliance on control was the thing keeping us out-of-control, shut down and in an enormous state of stress, which actually reduces our intelligence and what we have access to?

11. The simplicity you present here Julie is lovely, that’s the thing, life and it’s tasks just are, yet we colour them with an opinion which is not needed, we are simply asked to turn up and meet it as us. What I feel very strongly with control is that it cuts us off from ourselves and life and it travels pre-determined paths without taking in the grandeur that is in us and all around, it’s cuts us off from the magnificence of who we are. So my next task to simply meet that next task as me.

12. When I am trying to be in control, I separate from the energetic support that is always there. I feel like I have to harden up, do it all myself, and it feels like hard work. Surrendering is the complete opposite, where I know I am part of the whole big picture, there is ease and no struggle in my body. More and more I am realising that we choose to go into control and struggle so we can feel individual and separate, even though it feels horrible in the body.

13. “There’s no need for any picture of how that might look like, just a choice to stay with my body, breathe my breath and allow my innate, deep wisdom to guide me. My body is my love barometer and my greatest guide” Yes I so agree – and it needs practice……. Lovingly reminding myself this is the way……

14. “…. my whole body has been affected and influenced by my choice to force and control just to get a job/task done, with no consideration for the naturally loving rhythm that my body was in before this occurred.” A good point Julie. When we want to achieve – for whatever reason, for completing a task or for recognition, we are not in the moment or flow of life. Listening to what our body wants in each moment supports us to be in harmony and not control.

15. There is something incredibly liberating about knowing that stress is a choice. Every time I feel it these days I remind myself of that and it naturally eases and allows the opportunity to flow (which I may or may not take as I’m still ironing out the wrinkles).

16. We seem to have lost the ability to flow with life… To know ourselves deeply enough, as to be a part of a flow – that naturally will contain unexpected challenges, bumps and turns, but nevertheless we have the capacity to feel the flow underpinning all that occurs in our day, our week, our year, and so it goes…
    Restoring the sense of flow to our own bodies is what enables us to meet what is before us, and address those tensions that have taken us away from such a naturally connected way of being – to truly examine what works and what doesn’t, and realise that what we allow ourselves to be beholden to, is all a matter of choice and will. Essentially, our stresses, anxiousness and tensions are of our own making.

17. Stillness – known and experienced within our own body and being – is an ‘essential’ for life today, isn’t it Julie… There are just so many factors seeking to pull us away from the beauty of being with ourselves.
    And as you’ve shared here, it takes time and dedication to shift away from old ways that actually do not serve us, and recognise that our relationship with our own body, in all the activities of our day (and night) is what can hold us, if we make it about love, and nothing less than this.

18. It is not in our bodies natural nature to control any situation or circumstance. Our body naturally wants to flow and simply live in the fullness of the moment. This means our body naturally seeks fragility and vulnerablility.

19. The need to control comes purely from the security seeking behaviour we have all grown up with in life which is to seek a safe and comfortable life and conform because if you don’t you could get a finger or two pointed at you for doing the wrong thing. It is most definitely not natural to live this way but it is understandably the way we have thought life has to be.

20. When we stay connected to us and move feeling our bodies, we are actually observing life and there is no us in that moment, so then the tension in that moment goes, and we are left in the grace of our own wisdom and presence.

21. So true Julie. When we take responsibility it actually frees us up.

22. True, it is always our choice to be less, never out of our will.

23. When I feel a change in energy and my body starts to harden or tense up, I know love is not with me and my movements have changed. Calling out what has been chosen, brings you into your true power, the power of claiming the love that you are, and moving in that divine love.

24. Reading this felt very supportive right now as when in the thick of it the control can feel very strong but this is fact is a lie. Because when I come back to my body that stillness allows the the control to run out of steam and eventually die out. I start to come around to being open to my self-responsbilty once again. The more I take responsibility for how I feel the simpler life becomes.

25. This is a great article for bringing awareness to the habit of multi-tasking. What’s more supportive – saving 10 seconds or the quality of what it is I’m attending to?

26. How simple is the key to live and appreciate life in full – to choose connection with our bodies always, and not give over to any external situation as being more important, valuable or urgent.

27. “Control” or having control ‘issues’ really does have far reaching and on-going affects on us all both physiologically and mentally, it is so worth taking the opportunity to address these old paradigms, and to start to let go.

28. The hardening of our bodies is a clear message that we have invested in something that is outside our control and a reminder, to instead be honest let it go and appreciate what has been given to us in order to maximize and surrender to more of what we truly deserve.

29. Thanks Julie this was a beautiful blog to read, I also used to live with a lot of control and I have been letting this go over time and I have felt the difference in my body change to feeling much lighter, more joy and tenderness and more simplicity in my life – I realised living with control is very exhausting as you are always trying to fit life into a certain picture or outcome instead of being part of the flow and magic life can always be offering us.

30. We work based on programs of our own creation. We have a routine of how we go about life that is silent but inexorable. We may not be aware of it, but it is there. And, it has a lot of power over us. The good news is that once we pick it up and realize this, we can say yes or not to it.

31. “Now that I am choosing to step up in my self-responsibility and claiming more and more my part in situations, I can feel the huge difference in my body and how spacious it feels to claim myself back from the thoughts that will take me down the blaming path and away from my own wise, inner counsel. Now at those times when I can feel myself wanting to blame, I remind myself what is really being asked of me here, and keep it really simple and honouring of my body and its true function.” I agree I do feel so much more inspired by the spaciousness in my own body- its much easier to be responsible when feeling the spaciousness – these two factors seem to support each other and the opposite is also true- when i choose to be irresponsible I also feel the lack of spaciousness too and in the denseness I cant find my way.

32. I have found that living in constant appreciation of my beingness has allowed me to let go of the control in ways I never thought possible, making it a lot easier to surrender and trust that as long as I commit to constantly hold that quality in my movements everything is giving to me in the divine flow of the universe.

33. We realise life is a living thing, what you put in you get out and so getting to know yourself and your body is well worth it as your body is in everything you do, every thought and action. So if at any point you react to something and your body tenses up, what is truly going on? Or if you are constantly walking around in tension and so there is just different levels of the same thing, what is going on? Why would we tense up? Let’s look at tension, usually we tense up to brace ourselves against something that’s coming or something we are seeing or feeling which then means you can’t fully feel what it is or you don’t fully see what it is. If life is about the quality you feel and not what you do then the aim or dedication is to feeling. In this way it’s not about not reacting or having tension, that’s impossible I would think but more about catching the feeling of the reaction or tension, allowing it to settle and feeling everything you see in front of you. The only way to be able to call on this is to live it with everything and so if you are looking for an answer to something or pushing to finish something, feel the tension if it’s there and look at life bigger as at that point we don’t know how many times we have been in this situation before and not allowed the feeling or awareness to sink in. There are little moments within your day to catch or stop and check in with how you are feeling. Driving, feel your body, walking, feel your body and just keep breathing and allowing yourself to settle. The more you check in the less time you will be check out and so when the tension or a reaction knocks you may answer but soon after close the door and settle. You are what you live and so if you want things to change, live the change first and allow the world to come to you.

    1. I’m deeply appreciating your expression here Ray.

34. This is deeply insight-full into the level of stress we create by default when we think we need to control a situation because otherwise, things are not going to work out or we will get into trouble, run late, etc. etc. There are always a myriad of excuses and these emotions run our body until such time that we address their root cause.

35. A quote from Serge Benhayon, we are just exerting movement over movement. Mind over matter does not exist.

36. When we start to get an understanding that we are vehicles of expression and it is how our bodies are prepared for this great responsibility that we then see, it is all about our movements and living choices that decide what the end result will be and how much we either contribute to supporting or hindering evolution of the whole.

37. A truly beautiful revelation that you share: ” when I let go of control and surrender my body comes alive with the most magical flow and beauty”. Hear hear, I love this understanding of how much more love we can bring by so doing.

38. There really is nothing like our own self love flooding every cell in our bodies and firing them up to then inspire another equal divine being who just needs exactly your expression to help them shine forth even more. And so on it goes, beautifully so.

39. And the joy of living this way is so yummy, one wants to burst with pleasure.

40. We try and control things to avoid other people’s reactions. From there a whole host of behavious occurs and the only way to stop the reaction is to be understanding to the situation and read what is going on for the person. That way we will not take things personally.

41. It has been my observation that we go into control the moment we lose connection with ourselves and thus the greater whole that we are a part of. Losing connection in this way, which is not a true loss but more so a series of choices that lead to a gradual withdrawal from our true self, means that we have the sensation of ‘free-falling’ in the sense that we feel like we have lost our anchor. Naturally, in this state, we reach out and try to stop the sensation by any means we can and if we do not seek a thought, word or action that helps re-establish this connection, we will instead seek a thought, word or action that seeks to control the situation in order to make us feel secure again. However, without true connection, there can be no true security and thus why the control that we reach for does not alleviate the root of our suffering.

42. This is an absolutely excellent blog. When needing to control, a moment never resolves itself, but with no attachment, a potential is always there.

43. The truly paradoxical thing is that by making the choice to focus on the moment and stay with my body I actually have control. Not of another, a situation or an outcome, but of my choices.

44. This article reminds me of the simpleness of life, if we choose to no longer ‘try’ to control it. I for one know that all the trying in the world never found me lasting control, just more angst.

45. It is important what you have raised here about not labelling how we feel. This is a form of judgment where out certain messages from the body in the unwanted, wrong and unwelcome basket and others in the desirable, right and welcome basket. This labelling sets up a hostile relationship with our body when it is trying to communicate that something isn’t right. If we react and judge a feeling like pain, it only makes things worse. It shuts down what the body is trying to tell us to restore and expand again. Really its like slamming the door in someone’s face who brings ‘bad news’. They are still standing outside; the news still exists and won’t go away. We just try to pretend that it doesn’t exist. This pattern we have is reflected in the ever growing, preventable, life-style illnesses.

46. The fact that we have a choice to react in various ways is very obvious when you get a group of people together, such as in a workplace. When there is an unexpected change, there are a wide variety of responses. Some get angry and start to blame, some fear for their security, some roll up their sleeves and make the most of it. Knowing that we don’t have to go into our usual autopilot reactions is very liberating and also hands the responsibility of how things turn out back to us. We can’t control life but we can choose how we are in every situation.

47. Great to read this Julie, as I have just started a new job and can feel the tension in my body of wanting to go faster than I would naturally, and wanting to control things but at the same time there is a sense that it doesn’t have to be that way. Thank you for the reminder.

48. I can relate to the first sentence of your blog this morning. I am in a tizzy about wanting to control something that is out of my control. A total distraction that is causing me stress. So timely that I have read your blog this morning. I think I might just go for a walk and focus on what I can control – me.

49. A great line Julie “My body is here to support me through my life and to keep me functioning beautifully for the purpose I was made for, and that is to bring love to humanity.” I appreciate the simplicity this line brings to life, thank you Julie.

50. I can totally relate to the dramas we go into in our head when I am not able to accept and read what is happening and feeling betrayed by the situation. It’s amazing what and how we think we know should happen and launch into a battle when this is challenged.

51. I can feel how a current limiting thought on a particular situation is controlling how I feel. While I might not know how to deal with ‘it’ I can choose to come back to my body and simply appreciate being with me.

52. Being in control does not let any space for the body to speak and by doing that we actually are ignoring the divine intelligence our bodies are connected with and prefer to connect to the intelligence of the arrogant mind.

53. In a recent session with a Universal Medicine practitioner I felt what you described Julie, the control is very mind based and does create a tension in the body. Whereas in the brief moments I chose to be with my body there was feelings of nothing but absolute stillness and a deep heat from within me. However I chose to not remain in that warmth and instead stay in my mind and the controlling tension. Giving myself a hard time and being critical on myself takes me further away from self-responsibility and any opportunity to understand why I’ve chosen this. Reading this blog was a great reminder that these choices are not ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and understanding them need not be complicated but very simple. Thank you.

54. We do have an inbuilt myth that we think we feel safer when we try to control things around us or even people. But it is actually the exact opposite, when we control, we are actually saying no to being open to people and taking responsibility for our own actions.

55. It truly is amazing when we choose to tune into our bodies as the body just goes along doing its thing and keeping us functioning, even when we are quite harsh and disregarding with it, it really does have our best interests at heart. Not so for the conniving and arrogant mind, always wanting to be one step ahead of the body, like it is its superior and wants to have its way. Lucky for us, we feel the tension building or the pain, then this brings a stop moment for us to be honest and ask ourselves, what choice am I making here?

56. How gorgeous to move through life from a place of deep surrender to your innate grandness, letting the deep wisdom within be your guide… from here you can never go wrong.

57. The following lines made so much sense after the choices I made this week, leaving myself behind and chose anxiousness instead which ended up in having a headache and a sore body for some days; ‘If I choose to blame the situation or thing, I am only doing this because that deflects away from the fact that I don’t wish to feel that I haven’t taken full responsibility for my feelings and am thus using the situation as the reason for my tension.’ Thank you Julie this is exactly what I did and needed to read.

58. We make it so much harder for ourselves when we hold a picture or are rigid in our approach to doing something and the body is the first indicator of what we are holding onto at that moment. Giving ourselves a moment to stop and feel the space that is all around us, reminds us to give ourselves space within what we are doing and feel that we are totally supported by that space because it is full of love, and has everything we need.

    1. There is immense wisdom isn’t there in letting go? The body loves the release from the tension and contraction control brings, and letting go creates space for us to actually see our situations more clearly. I feel the first step for me is to accept life exactly as it is and then move from there to reading, understanding and letting go. The pictures and expectations I have seem to get in the way of understanding what’s truly playing out. On the surface it may look one way (that’s what I often don’t accept) but energetically something quite different is actually happening.

59. Love the honesty and openness in this blog. I would say that if there was no one with control or self-responsibility issues in this world we would be living in a very very different, but equally loving and super holding society.

60. Having pictures of how things need to be, is in total opposition to how our bodies naturally operate. As when I’m with myself and moving in the enjoyment of that, I don’t need a picture, as my body just aligns naturally with a rhythm and connection that it knows to a tee.

61. When we think we have to be in control we have to question where is the thought to control coming from.

62. As someone who has just begun study again, I am loving your wisdom and experience on the subject Julie. The ‘testing’ process is riddled with ways that carry stress, recognition and achievement. If I am not in my body I won’t be able to read these energies and know to make a different choice.

63. It’s interesting as I still live with drive and control. Drive to get things done to prove myself, because of a choice of choosing a lack of self worth and not feeling full enough of myself. Control to feel safe, I don’t like going with the flow, this is something I haver to learn again, to let go, enjoy each day as it comes, and not go into defence, protection and flight mode from the minute I wake up. I make what I see more important than me, instead of staying with my body and myself. From here I react, tense up, get anxious, and or stressed because I have already reacted and absorbed other peoples stuff into my body, and I can’t deal with in there, because it’s not meant to be there in the first place, it feels uncomfortable and makes me agitated. This is where I need to work on responsibility. Thinking I have no choice or power or control ( in a good way) over how I live life and respond to things. I actually enjoy reacting as it keeps me in drama, self, complication and stimulation. Then I can’t do what needs to be done, because I am so caught up in the reaction or my head, rather than observing life, breathing my own breath, and responding to situations, only if asked. I often through reaction, get involved when I don’t need to, in some way shape or form, it can be simply by reacting, saying something, telling someone or taking someone else’s stuff on. I don’t need to do this, again another form of irresponsibility, neediness, complication and ultimately stimulation. All a way to stop me being still. It’s no wonder we are so exhausted, and caffeine is so highly consumed and sugar too as a way to stimulate us when we are tired, exhausted, not wanting to feel things and run down if 99.9 % of the world are living this way.

64. “I will feel safer if I am in control of a situation or thing, but this is an absolutely ridiculous expectation and leaves no room for me just being me in my preciousness and love.” This line really hit home for me as someone who likes to feel or be in control. I place an emphasis or an expectation on the the task or action rather than focusing on me and then accepting what happens. It’s been a refreshing and helpful read, thank you.

65. A perfectly timed blog! Funny because as I read it I could feel the tension leave my body, my right shoulder let go, my jaw, my mouth let go of its tense pout!!! Strange how tension comes in when we choose to want an outcome, to get to the end. I really appreciate what this blog is offering me, how it is all a cycle, not one to control but to learn to observe and trust my body will know how to respond.

66. Thank you Julie, blame is so insidious and is unfortunately rife amongst in society, in fact blame is often encouraged, and if you think of how the media operate blame is used to insight emotions and often cause a hate stir.

67. Thank you Julie for writing on this topic. Attempts at control is something I know only too well and to try and maintain it is exhausting. When there is no investment in an outcome being a particular way, including how I am to be there is no need to control but a willingness to accept that there is more being played out to any situation, certainly more than my eyes can see.

68. We try to control the outcome of situations all the time. When that happens we move the tail like a dog. Yet, what I find remarkable is when truth kicks in. When it does and brings to a totally different outcome compared to the one in mind, the body feels totally surrendered. It is a totally different feeling compared to the controlling one.

69. We can never control what is outside of ourselves, and trying to do so is a lot of work that takes us further away from ourselves. When something outside of us feels uncomfortable, our job is to stay steady and to connect more deeply to our own inner stillness. Not to leave ourselves and try to fix the situation – as soon as we do that, we’re actually feeding it more.

70. Its fascinating how easy it is to live life constantly worrying about the next thing, and the next thing, and not just enjoying being with what is right in front of us, as that is where the magic is…. inside us… all of the time

    1. Your so right Simon, and only just this morning when I got up and I noticed straight away how if I don’t take responsibility for my thoughts, they take me straight into sorting through my day and picking out the best part of the day to get excited about and feel my day is going to be good because of ……. Catching this thought was awesome because I was then able to bring it back to my body and focus on my movements. This confirmed for me how divine my body feels when I stay with it in everything I do, and that’s all the entertainment I ever need.

71. Thank you Julie for sharing this. When we start to blame a situation or other people for why we feel the way we feel, in this case negatively, stressed and anxious we loose sight of how our bodies naturally would live in that situation and we also obscure and hide our investments in wanting a situation to be a certain way for us to feel ok. It feels strong this hold on our investments and yet from experience the moment I call out an expectation on myself or others or life it’s as if such a strong hold just vanishes, this is showing me that getting defensive and blaming is not really worth it because the amount of harm it causes can be addressed so quickly when I am willing to let go of that control and wanting the world and myself to be a certain way. It is far healthier to take responsibility than it is to blame.

72. I can feel my body is built up in the protection and hurts and that actually creates issues to happen and that I need to let go and surrender these hurts so that I can move more freely in life.

73. ‘I’m not letting go as in giving up; I am actually surrendering to my own grandness and wisdom and saying I am confirming myself as absolute right here and now, so I just let go and let that unfold.’ Awesome.

74. When the answer does come from the body there is no anxiety of any kind and the body does not suffer. There is no difference between the inside and the outside.

    1. I love this Eduardo, this is so very true.

75. Nothing can ever truly be seen when we are in the grip of control, only in the surrender with ourselves and our innate inner wisdom and love, can we feel and know what is truth and what truly needs our attention and loving focus.

76. Thank you Julie for your responsiveness of reflection on such a hugely important subject: self-responsibility. I am pondering on how much I myself take real responsibility of the situations I am in and what my part in it is. I can feel a huge resistance I had, and so had I chosen to delay and go into judgement instead, so I again won’t take responsibility. It is a very true question then to ask: why are we resisting taking responsibility, are we affraid of our own power? And so the palpable missing of that for eons?

77. The only way to be in a true form of control is to be in awareness of the choices we are truly making – whether that is to be the love we truly are or not. Otherwise, is it use controlling the situation or the situation controlling us?

78. ‘the purpose I was made for, and that is to bring love to humanity.’ Wow! I love this – that’s a life worth living.

79. Now we can’t have that Doug, we need your gorgeous light.

80. Yes Gyl, can you imagine how much love could be built up if we did bring our presence in between A and B. It’s like when we decide what we are doing at A, we have already left ourselves because we think in our minds, that the job is already done, we just have to arrive at B somehow. If only we were responsible enough for the whole journey, and chose to stay with ourselves to enjoy it in full.

81. It’s funny how we focus on A and B, but not the movements in between as in how we walk, drive, pee, eat etc – that all have an affect how we will feel and be when we get to B. Could it be because we actually know this would be evolution?

82. “My body is here to support me through my life” – this is absolute truth.

83. I have come to realise I tend to live quite a lot of the time trying to control things, in the sense of planning ahead, instead of being open to whatever comes my way, without trying. It’s almost like a form of protection, that doesn’t work, just makes life and my body hard, and un-joyful. It takes away the simplicity, pure joy playfulness and magic of being with God, simply being me, the wonderment and magic, like being a little child again, of expressing and living from my body.

84. ‘I am so much more than my mind” I love this, everything our education system should teach from day one, and one day it will.

85. “With this revelation, there is a knowing that it is absolutely my choice to choose to go into tension or not.” – I love it – everything is a choice. The question is who do we allow to choose? Us – or another energy running the show, for they are just there waiting for you to say yes, and bingo they can control you – until you stop and say yes to love.

86. “naturally loving rhythm” this made my whole body smile, I love God for that’s what I feel and am intrinsically a part of when I connect to this natural loving rhythm, the Universe, there’s naturally so much connection, space and expansion inside and all around me to something far grander, far deeper and far more huge that I can conceive or realise at this time, but I can feel it in every single cell of my body, it’s always calling me to evolve.

    1. Having your whole body smile, is a true gift for us all indeed. Never stop smiling Gyl, we appreciate it immensely.

87. ‘Lately I am noticing that when there is something that needs to be resolved and I don’t feel in control of the outcome, I start to harden in my body and become stressed.’ I can totally relate to this. I harden to not feel, why this is I haven’t quite worked out in full that is – my feeling is to not take responsibility – and I don’t mean that in a bad way, for if I am deeply still and open in the moment allowing myself to feel everything, with no need for people to be a certain way, then I can very clearly feel the energy and not the person – in the sense the energy of what is coming through them and what energy is at play – then there is no room for complication or delay.

88. ‘My whole theory around control is that I will feel safer if I am in control of a situation or thing, but this is an absolutely ridiculous expectation and leaves no room for me just being me in my preciousness and love.’ This is very true Julie and I know when I look at feeling safe and ore secure there is so much left out the equation, it is arranging things for myself but never for the all.

89. If we think we are in control, or have control in any way, we are in an illusion that keeps us trapped rather than sets us free.

90. I have found that control was my greatest form of protection, and the more I connected to myself and my own essence the less I needed to protect myself, and the easier it was to let go of my need to control.

91. When we use control we miss out on everything that is being offered to us in that moment, and as a consequence we miss out on our own evolution.

92. The illusion is that there is ever control. We can try to create it, think we have it, stick by it, but it was never there.

93. Blame is the perfect set-up as we can stew in our reactions, feel we are the victim, and remain unable to enjoy life or be ourselves. Responsibility is the only antidote, a responsibility to stay connected with ourselves and remain in the true power of that inner connection, and not give our power away to life’s situations or to other people.

94. I know I am in control if I am invested in an outcome or in reaction to a situation and you are right Julie the tension that I feel in my body at that time is actually immense. All this is communicating is that I am not wanting to see the reflection that a particular situation is offering me, which means me looking at the part I play – for that is the responsibility and there is always a part that I have played. Our bodies play a clear role in communicating this to us. Choosing to honestly listen is the key.

95. Control rather than truth has been a big part of how i have lived for many years and it feels very freeing and as you say Julie, more responsible to not now be living in this way. My control kept me capped and I found that there was no personal growth or appreciation in this. When I feel control creeping in I can feel the imposition on my body and it feels pretty yuk.

96. I do appreciate how fooled i have been by seeking to control situations and people- its impossible to truly control anyone or anything. By letting go, and surrendering, we actually allow things to unfold and can chose how we respond rather than being buffeted by it.

97. Julie, what amazing insights and how simple it can be if I come back to my body, and feel and live life from there rather than the pressure I can put myself under to achieve something, but really the task is just there to be addressed simply and with the full support of my body, nothing more; the mind wants to bring in all sorts of complications and ideas about how it should look, the body is much simpler asking how it feels and what is the quality I bring to this task. Very simple and I needed reminding.

98. So beautiful what you have expressed in your blog Julie. Self responsibility and responding from what feels true in our bodies enables great joy and simplicity in our lives. Thank you for the lovely gentle reminder.

99. When we stay with what is truly right there in front of us, there is no complication, just the simplicity of allowing our bodies to move and respond to what is needed. Only when we choose to change what is right there, do things go pear shaped.

100. This is an amazing article. It’s asking me what am I going into to avoid self-responsibility.
     ‘And then came an ‘aha’ moment when I realised this situation is not asking me to change myself at all, nor is it asking me to go into anxiety: that is my choice’
     I try to blame having a lot to do to go into doing rather than being (I also do this when I there’s not much to do either!). I use an outside situation to justify not taking the space to be first and come from this wisdom which knows exactly how to be, to move in a way that I stay connected.

101. “Really my job is to keep my body in a constant balance and my body naturally knows how to do this if I have built a consistent steadiness within me. Then when something comes along, I can just come from that natural steadiness inside of me and then my own stillness can hold me so beautifully right through the whole process of finding an answer in any situation whatsoever.” Life is so simple when we stop complicating it!

102. Really enjoyed reading your blog again Julie, particularly this quote by Eleanor Roosevelt “No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Absolutely!

103. I can really relate to this at the moment, especially the fact that it is my choice to go into tension and hardness to not feel equally as it is a choice to breathe gently and accept what I am feeling. No one can release the tension for me no matter how much in those tense moments I want such a situation to occur – which in the past has only provided relief and never a true healing as the tension returns, I learn nothing about responsibility if wanting others to do the work for me thus the issue is re-created.

104. There are so many gems in this blog Julie, it’s been a very healing experience to share in your journey. One of the gems for me was around work or other tasks being about recognition and achievement “…there is no focus on my quality of be-ing whatsoever and I have taken myself away from feeling my body, and so I lose all sense of what my body may need or is communicating to me.” How true this is in education, work and life today, and to me is a major contributor to why lifestyle related diseases are so high – we are completely out of touch with our own body and what it needs and communicates. Our physical body is often last on our list of priorities (if at all), instead of it being the centre of our life supporting us in all we are here to offer in life. It’s more often the vehicle we beat into submission to achieve our goals.

105. Julie – thank you for exposing control for the security it is – and how this actually hardens the body. When really control feels like an illusion that keeps us from sensing and feeling what is needed.

106. I can relate with this, ‘if I am more honest, I can feel within me the tension that I am wanting to finish this question because in my mind, when I answer this question, I can go onto the next question and there is a sense of achievement and recognition from that.’ But by doing that I can make getting things completed more important than my quality or feeling my body, my responsibility is my quality and my connection at all times.

107. Having to control situations in life is a vicious cycle that is ruled by images that we in turn place on ourselves. These images constrict us and place enormous amounts of stress and sickness on our health which inevitably takes us away from the natural ease in which we are solely created. Our presence in every moment is what will change our reactions to responsibility as we feel what is true and express from there.

108. The discernment to know in situations where you can see something needs to be resolved, of when to “let it be” and when to step in is true wisdom. We do not need to control situations, but equally we do not need to sit on the fence and not bring clarity where it is needed.

109. Being in control is such a con, however we waste vast amounts of energy on the illusion of having it and it’s thoroughly exhausting. Trust me, I did it for years. It’s like running to stand still. Accepting that I did not have to try and keep everything looking a certain way was a great revelation and liberation. Working on the only thing I can control – me and my reactions – is what has brought me the greatest rewards, and a steadiness that I can depend on even when there is chaos happening around me.

110. In my experience when I use control I can get so far then I lose it and then I can be judgemental and be critical of myself. Far more loving to listen to ourselves and honour ourselves in that moment, than to set unrealistic expectations.

111. “As Eleanor Roosevelt has been quoted as saying,” “No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” This is so true no one can make us feel anything when we take full responsibility for our feeling and there origin we understand is.

112. Its so true that trying to control robs us of our precious presence- its way too simplistic to think we really can control anything either. I often used to wish i could control life, and then went into give up mode when i got exhausted from such efforts. letting go is the simplest thing to do- I am learning this slowly.

113. So true, and well said Julie ‘ Really my job is to keep my body in a constant balance and my body naturally knows how to do this if I have built a consistent steadiness within me. Then when something comes along, I can just come from that natural steadiness inside of me and then my own stillness can hold me so beautifully right through the whole process of finding an answer in any situation whatsoever.’

114. Wonderful confirmation that i do not have any control of a situation other then being me as much as i can and the the more i am with myself, the less the situation will affect me.

115. ‘I want to finish this so I can go onto the next one’. This is such a familiar feeling but when I read it back how ridiculous is that? I never get to enjoy what I am doing, and I’m not fully present with it either, always looking ahead but not where I am actually walking now.

116. When we take everything away that we have created and move from the impulse of deep love that we are left with and all essentially are, everything we do is part of the space we call our lives, then everything matters and nothing is valueless.

117. Julie, so simple, such common sense, we choose how we are in any given situation, be it to go into stress or overwhelm or excitement. And it’s our responsibility as you say for us to build and allow a steadiness in our bodies which supports us to be with our bodies as we address each task. It can be that simple.

118. So many gems and amazing insights here in this blog, I really like the idea that control really doesn’t offer the safety we think it does. We can rarely control anything in life, everything that happens has something to teach us, there is always love in everything no matter what we think it needs to be.

119. Julie great topic to open up this subject. I think we learn very quickly that there is control at play with life. We isolate aggressively between controlling or being controlled. This leaves no space for the grace of us in just enjoying the moment.

120. A great reflection on what’s going on in our bodies and minds when we are compelled to play control freak and just how much more loving on the body it is when we merely stay with the purpose of a task and allow our innate wisdom to do its thing whilst feeling the steadiness it brings in our bodies.

121. Julie, wow, this is an amazing blog, that speaks to me deeply this morning. You highlight something I am becoming increasingly aware, that I can blame the task or situation for taking me out, but in fact the truth is no matter what is presented to me, it is my choice in how I am with it, and no task / situation has the power to change me unless I allow it. So I make the choice first to change and there is the gold mine, as in seeing that choice I then have another one, to continue as I am or to peel back the layers and understand how and why I may have made that choice, and control is indeed often a large part of that – I can get locked into things being a particular way and when I go rigid in that, of course it affects how I am with the task. What I feel hugely here is if I feel me, stay connected to my body and take responsibility for myself then I can be with the task without impacting my body – this is a paradigm and life changing shift, and there is a huge freedom in this, as we look and see and understand that many of the things we do that we blame on outside things are in facts ways and behaviours we choose to adopt and being honest with this allows us to see what we really do and what it is that does not truly support us to be who we truly are.

122. The hardness that we experience when we try and control everything is to stop us from feeling what is actually going on, surrendering to an experience of something universal, protecting us from the bigger picture.

123. Learning to deeply surrender and let go of control is a continual deepening, but so worth while, ‘My whole theory around control is that I will feel safer if I am in control of a situation or thing, but this is an absolutely ridiculous expectation and leaves no room for me just being me in my preciousness and love.’

124. Julie thank you for the reflection. Lately I have been noticing how I can see and feel the bigger picture of what I need to do next but then lose it on wanting to control the detail. Bringing awareness to this has allowed me to notice when I am surrendering and when I am holding on with an expectation and wanting to control the outcome. This has been a great lesson in surrendering for me.

125. Absolutely Julie, It is my choice to choose to go into tension or not, it is always my choice, I just blame different things as being the cause of it. ‘And then came an ‘aha’ moment when I realised this situation is not asking me to change myself at all, nor is it asking me to go into anxiety: that is my choice. All the task is asking of me is to find the answer, nothing more, nothing less, so why allow my mind and its antics to dictate how I am going to feel in this situation?’

126. So true Julie – great to reveal ‘ My whole theory around control is that I will feel safer if I am in control of a situation or thing, but this is an absolutely ridiculous expectation and leaves no room for me just being me in my preciousness and love.’

127. When I want to control people or situations it is because I want to remain in my comfort. I am in fact resisting to go deeper and grow. Surrendering within is key so whenever I feel to want things done my way I clock it and surrender. Surrendering sometimes feels like I am giving up but if I don’t make this choice I simply end up exhausted!

128. Such a beautiful blog which shows the amazing power of the stillness that is innately within us all.

129. “No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” I love these words as a reminder that we are constantly choosing everything in this life. We have a choice to feel inferior or not.

130. Julie this is such a revealing blog and I am glad I have read it. Following sentences is a deep confirmation for me: “Now that I am choosing to step up in my self-responsibility and claiming more and more my part in situations, I can feel the huge difference in my body and how spacious it feels to claim myself back from the thoughts that will take me down the blaming path and away from my own wise, inner counsel.”

131. So much gold here in this blog – the sentence that stays with me today is “…..I can feel within me the tension that I am wanting to finish this question because in my mind, when I answer this question, I can go onto the next question and there is a sense of achievement and recognition from that.” How easy it is to get hooked on the illusion of ‘getting’ somewhere or something that is in actual fact completely selfish and loveless. So much of what we do is done in this energy. Your blog is fantastically inspiring as it shows how we can all bring love to humanity if we simply get ourselves out of the way and take responsibility and there is so much joy in living our true purpose.

132. ‘My body is my love barometer and my greatest guide.’ I love the word ‘love barometer’, our bodies are incredible in the way they show us exactly what we are feeling and what is going on inside us, and of course always showing us exactly how loving we are being. Gosh – they are amazing!

133. It’s a beautiful distinction made here about choosing to stay with the quality we hold in our body, or losing ourselves in a task and outcome and the stress and hardness that came come with that. It’s also a snapshot of how life (beginning with education) is geared towards answers and achievements and not focused on the person..

134. Yes that is very beautiful, it is a living way that brings this settlement.

135. Thank you for writing this blog Julie, I very much relate to what you share, it is incredible to feel how we actually abuse our body to get something done we feel we are getting something out of. While knowing that we are already everything and the task at hand is just something that is needed to be done we can let go of the outcome and see that it doesn’t change us a thing, taking the responsibility to have a body that is present, and capable of doing what is needed all the time.

136. Thank you Julie your blog is a perfect start to my day as I have an exam this morning and I can feel the familiar pattern of anxiousness and tension that has played out in the past when I feel the pressure of an exam. The quote by Eleanor Roosevelt “No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent ” what a beautiful reminder and so very true, it simply comes down to our choices in every moment.

137. I have recently experienced controlling behaviours in another that has shown me how limiting and delaying this behaviour can be. From this, ironically, my acceptance of others and myself has grown and I am finding myself surrendering more too. I agree that the need for control seems to come from an underlying feeling of insecurity.

138. Having children in my life has taught me a lot about how debilitating and suffocating control can be when it is imposed on to another person. And, how this need for control can come from my own insecurities and not actually from wanting what is true for them or myself. Letting go of this need means letting go of the control and watching us all become more confident and strong in expressing ourselves.

139. There was a T-shirt that exclaimed ‘it happens’ there seems to be a mathematical expression that the harder we hang on to anything to ensure ‘it’ doesn’t happen the greater probability that it will occur. How many people live in the two worlds? If your not in control everything becomes out of control. Or, we can step off the merry-go-round and as you have expressed Julie we just need to surrender to ourselves and let go.

140. I love re-reading this blog, Julie. Just that control and blame go hand in hand is a great realisation for me, and how they both come out of a sense of insecurity.

141. “My whole theory around control is that I will feel safer if I am in control of a situation or thing, but this is an absolutely ridiculous expectation and leaves no room for me just being me in my preciousness and love” – I totally agree with you, Julie. And what I am also learning is that wanting to be in control blinds me from what is actually there to be done.

     1. Wanting to be in control blinds me from what is actually there to be done. Spot on Fumiyo, because you’re in the grip of the energy that you have moved in and so have no choice but to move under that energies control, its a fixed destination. Whereas stay with the body and be present and you cannot help but move in a way that is in line with the natural rhythm and flow of things. Easier on the body and feeds us all back with love.

142. Yes Jane, and a very beautiful settlement it is that I can feel through your words here. I’m enjoying every moment of it. Thank-you deeply for sharing.

143. That is a very simple but incredibly profound statement. It reveals the trap we set for ourselves by giving all of our power away to our incessant need to understand or figure out. There is an element of trust that is so important to us being who we are and expressing that to the world. That trust must be given to our body to feel what is going on in life. It is the only way to put our mind in its place as important but not dominating.

     1. Naren, this stopped me in my tracks today.. ” It reveals the trap we set for ourselves by giving all of our power away to our incessant need to understand or figure out. There is an element of trust that is so important to us being who we are and expressing that to the world. That trust must be given to our body to feel what is going on in life.” I have lived a life and been a person who has had an ‘incessant need to understand and figure out’.. a defence to deal with world from my head as i had shut my ‘feeling body ‘ down.. And yet this way of being in the world provided no true comprehension of people nor how life operates and whatever and whenever i communicated from this type of ‘knowing’, I didn’t really feel connected to others. I didn’t understand other people or feel understood. It was like i was always on the ‘outside’ trying to get in.. At the moment I am working on opening up to trusting the body.. but am feeling vulnerable with the hurts i have to deal with and what i may feel.

        1. I can relate to what you have said and are feeling, Michelle. When you put so much faith in your ability to know how something works, and use that faith and ability as a way to distract attention from what is truly hurting, it is a bit of a shock when that sleight of hand that you have relied on for so long no longer fools the person it was intended on fooling all along: yourself.
           Suddenly all the hurt is there, laid bare. What is needed is to be delicate and nurturing with the rawness that has been exposed. For there is an opportunity to heal this if you stay with what is now there to be seen, and be aware of the desire to hide and go back to the way things were. But the truth is that going back is not an option. Why would you go back?
           For what is here before you now is what you have wanted life to be, not ‘figured out’ not placed in a box that you can impress others with how much of it you have mapped to your memory, but here is something far more than anything your mind alone can fathom: a life that is true to one’s self.

144. Indeed, Robyn. Control is trying to not take responsibility, but cloaked under the guise of being responsible. Keeping your life under control and seemingly having it all in hand, is not responsibility, it is confining life within the borders you set. Our responsibility to ourselves and to each other is to live our lives to the fullest we are able.

     1. I love what you have written here, Naren, especially, “Keeping your life under control and seemingly having it all in hand, is not responsibility, it is confining life within the borders you set.”

        1. Expand that notion of control to a population and those borders become the imaginary lines that we use to divide countries from one another.

        2. Yes, very true. It really is a simple as that.

145. Love it Adam, you have clearly highlighted how we conveniently focus on the “hard work” as being the problem and not the quality or way we live that might be affecting things.

146. Wow Julie, so simply written yet so full in understanding, thank you for an amazing blog

147. There can be no blame when there is responsibility.

148. I love this statement “..if I take all of me to everything that I do (no perfection of course), then everyone gets a woman who is the real me as absolute love in motion.”
     That about sums it up for me. If we make choices to be less than who we are, not only do we miss out on us but so does the world. Ain’t worth the misery as being me just feels awesome.

149. To let go of any picture/image how we/I/you should/could be is a strong movement towards true freedom.

     1. True. Our bodies are connected to truth. The moment we want to live against this truth, we have to call in a different energy (what we are not) – and this causes all the harm.

150. The title of this blog struck me yesterday when I was listening to a colleague at work. How often do we project control over situations rather than offering the person an opportunity to understand responsibility?

151. “I am so much more than my mind will allow me to know” – this line is pure gold, a life conducted by the narrowness of the mind alone will never know it’s pure grandness.

152. My experience of moments (and I’m certainly not perfect yet) of letting go of control and simply allowing everything around me to be the way it wants to be have been magnificent. After all, trying to control situations and others is such a waste of time and energy, especially when I find its not really even possible to control an outcome, outcomes that are not related to my personal choices and well-being are decided by many factors, and rarely by me! It’s far better for everyone to allow people to make their own choices, and allow universal law to do the rest.

153. Just acknowledging that we are control ‘freaks’, that we have control issues is a great start, and yet we do have a habit of grimly hanging on to this mindset because we fear that if we don’t, the wheels will fall off our lives and we will crash. It is essential that we establish an inner connection and with this , nurture the delicate flower of trust that is within us all, and that , when fully bloomed, will allow us to truly let go of such old and destructive paradigms.

     1. Absolutely Chris, we have first embrace or at least be honest about how much of a “control freak” we have been!

        1. Well said Chris and Greg and I totally agree with all you share, recently I became aware of an area in my life I was still in a lot of control about. It was an ‘ouch’ moment for me as I had been unwilling to see this for sometime. It has been a blessing and an awesome opportunity for me to address this control and see where it plays out in other areas of my life and to let go of this pattern and allow myself to surrender and feel the spaciousness that comes with this loving choice.

154. Indeed Matthew, it is a sad reality that most people have no idea of their own delicate and precious nature which is hidden underneath the hardness and the tension.

155. There is nothing hard about hard work.

156. Just by reading the word ‘surrender’ in your comment Kate, my body melted. The resistance to who we are and living that way is huge! And even as someone who knows that and has clocked it in themselves, I still choose to go there at times. Surrender is the best form of medicine to undoing the tension that resistance and the fight creates in the body.

157. In trying to control situations, I notice that I harden up too. I actually feel inferior doing so, but when I surrender to responsibility, expressing love, letting people in, I am able to feel the natural amazingness of me and others.

158. Beautifully and so simply said Robyn.

159. Having the willingness to let go of control and surrender creates space in our bodies to be more of the love that we are.

160. Yes Mathew, there is so much blame in the world today as it is the easiest way out of not taking responsibility of the choices that we make and dumping whatever we don’t want to deal with onto another but our bodies are the marker of our truth so there is so much we can play this game until the body tells us otherwise.

161. The masters know the divine plan all we need to do is to surrender deeply and allow them to guide us and we will be taken care of.

     1. So beautifully said Mary-Louise, why do we choose to control when there is so much joy and love when we surrender to this absolute truth.

162. Yes Donna we use a lot of energy when we control the amount of love and light that we will express. Being a practitioner I see exhausted people every day simply because they are controlling there expression, the relief they feel when they surrender and allow themselves to be who they naturally are is enormous.

163. So true Rachel we simply need to remain very present in our body and move in our true quality, then overwhelm does not exist. Overwhelm is something we call in as an excuse to not take responsibility for our choices.

164. I have been observing my attitudes around food for the last year and one of the things I noticed is, if I can control the amount of food I eat then I feel good about myself, it is a false sense self worth, no different to when I was anorexic but a lot more subtle. I have been renouncing this and find that my obsession with food is getting lesser and lesser until recently where this is no longer a part of my thought pattern.

165. I have been observing when I want to go into complaining about something recently, and sitting with where this reaction comes form within myself and really asking what role have I played in the situation getting to this point.

     1. Love it Nicole – there is much to learn when we are truly willing to observe ourselves and the situations we are in.

        1. I have noticed the difference between people owning up or confessing to their part in a drama or complication and people who are really willing to take responsibility for their role and learn from it.

166. It is never helpful to be hard on ourselves as we are always learning, evolving and expanding. Even if we are not present we can be present to the fact that we are not being present and therefore regain our presence!

167. It is certainly irresponsible to control as it is irresponsible to express anything that is not true or loving and being controlling is neither.

     1. Yes, I absolutely agree Nicola, there is no Love or Truth in control, none whatsoever, no matter how you dress it up.

168. There is so much I love about this blog but one huge point is this way of working that you describe of trying to finish one things in order to get onto the next thing instead of being fully present with whatever we are attending to in each moment. I spent many years always in a rush to get something finished so I could get onto the next endlessly. It is a horrible and exhausting way to live that lacks true quality. Serge Benhayon has also shared many times how this applies when walking from one place to another. For example, when I walk from my office to the kitchen am I just checking out as I get from one place to another, or do I stay present with me as I walk. More and more I am bringing a quality to my walk and movement such that it is pure delight to walk from one room to another and those moments and movements in themselves are full and not empty moments between where I am and where I am going. It is the same with bringing all of me to anything I am doing – it makes a huge difference on many levels.

     1. I agree Nicola, bringing more presence into our bodies affects the quality of our movements as we feel the flow and ease that naturally is there when we surrender and live in a way that is sync with the universe.

        1. Yes, I agree Francisco because if I am not present ie not with myself when I move then where am I and who or what is walking my body?!??!!

     2. I so need to master being fully present with what ever I am doing in each moment. It is the quality I bring to what I do that matters not what I need to do next. Thanks for the reminder Nicola.

169. As Eleanor Roosevelt has been quoted as saying, “No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” What a great quote and so pertinent to me today. Recently someone shared with me some lies another person had said about me and I had a wonderful session with Michael Benhayon yesterday where I explored how to handle situations like these. It was tempting to go into a story and defence but that felt very wrong to me. With Michael I became aware that all I need to do was stand in the absolute knowing of my truth and that is enough. There will always be external factors pushing and pulling us this way and that – but if I stand solid in my truth it does not touch me.

     1. So true Nicola and to quote something Elizabeth wrote on this thread
        “Our only responsibility is to live our truth, no matter what.”

        1. YES, that is exactly it said much more simply!

     2. Great to have this understanding Nicola, ‘With Michael I became aware that all I need to do was stand in the absolute knowing of my truth and that is enough.’ As you say there will always be external factors that push and pull, our responsibility is to stand solid in our truth and live that.

170. Just reading the first part of your blog I was touched by the depth of observation and awareness you have as to all the details that go on in certain circumstances and how your body responds. I too have observed such things in myself. Interestingly it appears that it is only when we are more clear and reacting less that we start to notice these kind of details. In the old days when I used to be emotional, drink alcohol and eat food that did not support my body, I would not have been aware of micro details as I was much more numb. In fact the more aware I am the more micro details are not at all micro but become macro!

     1. I agree Nicola with more awareness comes greater attention to detail.

     2. Love reading your comments Nicola, this one reminds me of the extreme harm reaction has not only on our bodies but also on our particles and then on how we behave. I have noticed that my particles become very dense and my clarity and awareness is gone….feels awe full… and before I know it I am in creation.

171. ‘I also appreciate the stillness that holds me so beautifully right through the whole process of returning to the truth that I am, as it is my eternal true anchor and guide.’ Stillness is within us all, if we connect to it finding it extremely supportive and a strength.

172. “I can just come from that natural steadiness inside of me and then my own stillness can hold me so beautifully right through the whole process of finding an answer in any situation whatsoever.” This is beautifully shared as it shows the richness within and maybe were are actually afraid of this, to come back to that we have it all within?

173. Julie what a great blog about control, I’m confident many of us can relate to the need to control…but you have brought another quality to it and that responsibility “I haven’t taken full responsibility for my feelings and am thus using the situation as the reason for my tension.”

     We often externalize our inner feelings and blame outside of us, wanting to change the situation so that we can change the way we feel. It does not really work. When we take responsibility for what we feel, which can be extremely challenging, it is very empowering as we become less controlled by the outside, less need for control within.

174. Yes, there is a numbness to the impact and effect we have on ourselves and others in the world at present, therefore allowing and breeding irresponsibility throughout the generations.

175. I also find I go into overwhelm when I think I am not equipped to handle a particular situation or circumstance, but I know that we are already everything, so I remind myself of this and this allows me to surrender to what is already known (within me), this then paves my way forward rather than the overwhelm. Haven’t quite mastered this yet, but I am on my way!

176. That is inspiring Alexis – and something that I will take note of in a very practical way. It feels as though I need just the simplicity of feeling my feelings and expression and my need for control will dissipate, just as they are in this moment. Magic is so simple when we get ourselves out of the way and allow the flow to take it’s natural course.

177. Julie thank you for putting the spotlight on the difference between what the mind likes to classify as giving up and the reality of surrender.
     Recently I read that King Canute went to the seashore precisely to show that he wasn’t in control of everything.
     I love to walk along at the water’s edge watching the waves and realise how futile it is to attempt to predict how far the water will come up the beach, such a metaphor for life

178. ‘My need for control’ – What if this need wasn’t even ours, or something that is not a true need to who we truly are? Because I am finding the more I say ‘I am being controlling’ or ‘I am creating distractions and drama’s and indulging in emotions’ then thats me claiming to be something I am not. Because when I go into my body, none of those needs or wants are there, they are not a part of me. I made the choice to not be me, then I create needs and wants.

179. I agree Nicole, it feels like a protection that we put in place to not have to feel what is really going on. When the control is dropped we are open and vulnerable and are more able to feel the depth of the way we really are.

180. Yes Anne, It always comes back to our choice wether we choose to be ruled by our minds or allow ourselves to really feel our body and make loving choices from that union.

181. It is really lovely to be with ourselves in all that we do. I know when I over ride being with a doing energy, the way my body feels is different. It becomes harder and more tense. I am now seeing that this state of tenseness is a way that takes a lot of energy to hold and is a harming way to be with my body.

182. I am just writing one of those academic treatises and progress is slow. This type of treatise is quite unfamiliar to me and I am constantly tempted to push if it wouldn’t feel so bad in my body, so progress is slow and I will just continue. It sounds boring but the key is to continue, regardless. With lots of breaks if needed but to continue. Doing something difficult in a rush is very hard on the body.

     1. I agree with you, Christoph. I have just completed a major project and this time I did it very differently from how I would normally do it. I took care of myself and made it such that I did not try and control everything but honored myself and my body. And as you say consistency is what is required and not control.

        1. It is the same for me and I am amazed how much I get done.

183. I love how the more I let go of trying to control life and make it look a certain way the more magical life becomes. To my mind does not make sense but to my body it makes perfect sense! It is also a lot less exhausting as I no longer am constantly driving to be something or someone I am not.

184. Our only responsibility is to live our truth, no matter what.

     1. Oh, and to know what truth is.

185. Well said … “If I don’t need to control, but breathe my own breath and stay with what is being asked of me (and don’t label it as right or wrong, good or bad, or make it into something difficult or complicated), my body can be left to just support me, naturally so, in an order that it knows right down to the tiniest cell, without complications or tension.”

     Stay with what is being asked of me – what a gorgeous expression.

186. I agree with what you are saying, Mary as it is a likely reason why more and more children are feeling stressed and pressurised by the time they are in their teens.

187. We love to blame a situation or another person, this way we can avoid taking responsibility for our choices. We need to always look at ourselves first and take full responsibility for our part, no matter what is happening with another person or situation.

     1. Hello MaryLouise and I understand what you are saying. How are we using responsibility though? Responsibility is more about the quality we are in, the quality we are living. So yes we need to “take full responsibility for our part” but that is more to change the quality we are in, the energy more than a talking part. So often we may not ‘blame’ but the way we go about taking responsibility takes us back to the same part. Responsibility is all about movement and the quality of that, not just saying a line to yourself or someone else on what you have done.

     2. I agree Mary-Louise it is vital we take responsibility for our part, this may mean looking at where we let our energy drop, or lose our connection, and if we let anything in as a result. We can then move in a way that helps us to return to our self and our quality.

188. Control is definitely a way to not feel my hurts I have found. Definitely a lack of responsibility and grace in this.

189. What a beautiful learning and from your own body Donna. I can relate to these pictures of how the day ‘is to be or look’. It is so confirming of your openness to surrender back to your true quality to re-connect to the flow that is naturally there.

190. I have lived a very controlled life for many years, I realise now it was like living in a box with walls all around supposedly keeping me safe, but what did it keep me safe from, from coming to know the true and loving me and and actually living life. No safety in this illusion, only separation. Thank you to Serge Benhayon and his teachings that have broken down these walls so that I can start to live from my true loving self as a son of God.

191. This is true Matthew and this can translate into what is termed ‘narcissism’, which is being studied within the younger generations of our society, but which is fundamentally self-absorption through a lack of responsibility.

192. This is great Alexis. Thank you for sharing, as when I was reading your comment I felt the manipulation that seems to automatically come with control. The two really do go hand in hand.

193. How many situations and tasks do we add a layer of unnecessary stress and pressure to, by adding in the element of control? Thanks for your blog Julie reminding me that it doesn’t have to be this way.. that there is another way to do things like study. That different, more natural way, is simply by letting go of the need to do the task in a certain way, and by being aware of how we are when we’re doing that task. What I’m also feeling is that ‘taking responsibility’ for how we are isn’t another way that I need to control my life, but just a surrender to what is already there. And it can be as simple as just noticing the gentleness of my breath and movements.

     1. Yes, control is a great way to hold us back. When we are about to be effective, all we have to do is exercise a little control and our effectiveness is, sometimes massively, reduced – exactly why we often exercise control as it means we don’t have to be all that we are.

194. What’s interesting is that we think we can get away with these changes in the tone of our voice.. yet it’s so obvious to others when we’re not being ourselves, because we all do this and so can detect it easily in another. The more aware I become, the more I’m noticing how my whole body changes and goes hard when I’m in ‘performance’ mode.. telling someone something in a way that comes from my head and not from my body, and how false this feels compared to when I’m naturally expressing what I’m feeling from my body and not from my head.

     1. Exactly Bryony – we think we can get away with it… the reason being we are not coming from our true selves when we do it, we are playing a game.

195. I’ve noticed how much I control when I don’t trust that there is enough time to do everything. But the more I’m in that tight space of controlling tasks and attempting to manage others’ expectations of me, the more I can feel that stress and hardness in my body and how horrible it feels: the tightness in my jaw, a rigidity in my arms and across my chest. It feels cold, hard and empty, whereas letting go of the pushy, driven control, and just being with what naturally is there to do, actually feels different – there’s a spaciousness, and from there, room for a connection to all others, instead of the cold isolation of control.

196. I felt space open in my body Julie as I read your blog. This week at work has been particularly full on and I could feel how much I wanted to control situations or at times simply wish they weren’t there. Reading you blog exposed just how much I can forget to listen to my body and its wisdom, I lose my rhythm and choose control rather than connection. Great to see this, thank you.

197. Great point Alexis. I love what you have shared here.

198. “…this situation is not asking me to change myself at all, nor is it asking me to go into anxiety: that is my choice…” What a great realisation… and one that will always bring you back to you.

199. Hello Johanna and Robyn I agree this is the way it is but we are talking about already walking into ‘control’ and what this is but how did you/we get there. Responsibility is movement, movement in each moment. So yes when we are in control there are things we are protecting etc but what are we not wanting to see? The ultimate responsibility of movement to that point, in other words move in every moment with presence and a deep level of care and you will feel any step away from this. At any point the responsibility is always back and to return to movement, how and the quality we are with everything around us.

200. I agree Thomas and there would need to be a road map to go from control to the surrender wouldn’t you agree? So how would we go from control to surrender or be fooled from surrender to control? As we are saying here there is responsibility, not how we see it in the world at the moment but a responsibility in movement, how we are and the quality we are with everything around us. Not just speaking to people or owning up to things but a deep level of care and responsibility with everything we do, even typing on a computer. If we take a deep level of care with every movement, breath, blink or otherwise then we set for ourselves a quality of living that then allows us to see more. If ‘you’ are in every movement then when something happens and you don’t feel that quality you will ask a question in place of running on autopilot and living our life from Monday to Sunday.

     1. And it gets more and more obvious when we are not living and moving in our quality the deeper we go in feeling and living this quality held within us and around us.

        1. Hello Robyn and as you know it has always been “obvious” and it is ‘us’ that have muddied the waters so we couldn’t see. It’s not that it becomes truly more obvious, it’s more our awareness of the mud becomes clearer. We are returning to a quality that was always there not creating a better way.

        2. I agree, as our awareness increases we see more clearly, therefore making things that little bit more ‘obvious’, or known, to the wisdom we already hold within.

        3. Thanks Robyn and yes with awareness we simply return to what we already know. We are walking wisdom and yet most of our looking is at what’s outside.

        4. And looking outside of ourselves is the way we are taught to live. It can start from very young… looking to mum and dad for reassurance in smiling, crawling, walking etc. Then we start school and we are told we know nothing and we need to be ‘educated’. There is very rarely any part of society that supports us to connect to the wisdom we all hold within to find the answers and guidance we are looking for. It is an amazing way to live when we let go of the quest to gain recognition and reassurance outside of ourselves and re-learn how to trust and surrender to all that is known within us, a never ending depth of wisdom is available, ready, willing and able to support us in every different way that is needed.

        5. Hello Robyn and agree with all you say. The only way to turn the tide on this way of living, “There is very rarely any part of society that supports us to connect to the wisdom we all hold within to find the answers and guidance we are looking for”, is to make a change ourselves. This ‘change’ in living isn’t for a day or a faze to run through but an ongoing dedication to the quality of how we are living, in each moment.

        6. Absolutely agree with you Ray, “This ‘change’ in living isn’t for a day or a faze to run through but an ongoing dedication to the quality of how we are living, in each moment.” Dedication to quality is vital to not just sustaining change but continuing to evolve.

        7. Thank you Robyn and for me it possibly just ends with an ongoing or a deepening of the “dedication to quality” in everything we do, our living quality.

        8. Yes, a deepening it is. Beautifully said.

201. Yes this is so true. We have been sold a lie to believe surrendering is weak when to surrender is our greatest strength, returning us to the All that we are.

     1. It sure is Deborah, we are Sons of God, vessels for the divine and the more we surrender to this fact the more love can pour through us and so touch many more people.

202. Control is also based on not trusting that the Hierarchy are with us every step of the way and if we were to surrender to this we would be so, so looked after.

     1. I agree Mary-Louise there is no trust if we want to control everything – trusting has let go of the need to control and is an open space, the Hierarchy can be with us then.

     2. Beautiful Mary-Louise, this is so true.

        1. Yes we do not want to surrender to the hierarchy and let them guide us because then we can not own what ever we do as it has been impulsed to us from the Hierarchy. We are too invested in self and being identified by what we do.

203. “I can say in all absoluteness I am so much more than my mind will allow me to know and my responsibility is to own this truth and live it as completely as I can in any given moment.” – This is fantastic to really claim that this is our truth and why we are actually here on earth, this responsibility can not be avoided, as much as we try but ultimately this is our true calling. To be All of Who we ARE in every single nano second of life. It is time to live this truth for all. Thank you for a great reminder.

204. It was so lovely and confirming to read again your beautiful blog Juiie – when we return to honouring what our body is constantly communicating to us we find that all the wisdom we require to live life is to be found within. It’s no rocket science – just beautiful common sense as when we try to control life we are forcing our body to submit to contraction in order to resist the natural flow that is always available when we surrender.

     1. Yes, the wisdom of our body – if we ignore the gut feeling, that doesn’t work – is quite amazing to experience. It is fun, too.

205. Just by reading the title we can get a sense of where we get it wrong. Obviously the need to control others comes from our lack of taking responsibility for our own actions. If we are not living in a way that is supportive and loving we then need others to be a certain way.

     1. Hello Rebecca, I agree and the care needs to come with the way we use ‘responsibility’. It’s not only about being honest about the things that happen but it’s more about movement, how we move, the quality of our movement. To take the responsibility deeper would be to say the quality of our movement in each moment, and more the quality of each and every movement, that means every blink, breath and swallow. This is responsibility, our movement in respect to everything.

        1. Yes Ray, there certainly is a deeper level of responsibility required, and as you say – the quality of our movement in every moment is the ultimate responsibility.

        2. Thank you Rebecca and could things be that simple? Be present and deepen the quality of every movement no matter what you are doing and from there everything else flows. If you ‘lose’ this presence, simple again dedicate yourself back to it, responsibility.

        3. Our responsibility in how we move and the quality of our movements are fundamental, ‘It’s not only about being honest about the things that happen but it’s more about movement, how we move, the quality of our movement. To take the responsibility deeper would be to say the quality of our movement in each moment, and more the quality of each and every movement, that means every blink, breath and swallow.’ That is some responsibility.

        4. Absolutely Lorraine and that is true responsibility. It is not something to turn off and on or save for when something goes wrong. It is a moment by moment step in every part of life, whether literally physical or not, every thought is included.

     2. And that lack of responsibility drives us to control so we don’t get exposed in our irresponsibility!

        1. Hello Robyn, if at any point things are complicated, clever or confusing it’s great to bring this back to a simple point. I agree, a “lack of responsibility drives us to control” but our focus or dedication needs to go deeper and just see a choice. Responsibility is about changing the quality or energy you are in as you would know. It’s great to expose what goes on with control but first the dedication is to come back to a true quality.

        2. Yes, the simple choice is to be ourselves or not, but first we need to know who we are, so we have a level of quality to relate to or a reference point we can feel when “complicated, clever or confusing” energy comes in through our choices. We then have an understanding of the quality we can return to, a foundation that tells us where we are at in terms of what energy we are choosing in any given moment.

        3. Hello Robyn and to me that’s the trick. When we stop or are stopped we can’t help but who we are, it’s natural. That’s why the world is so fast paced and there are so so many ‘things’ to do, all created to keep us running. How often do people say, ‘I can’t sit still or I have trouble slowing down’ etc. We can pretend we don’t know why we are but truly stop or be still and that is our natural state. Everything else can go on around us but dedication to that true stop or stillness gives you what it feels like to be you. The rest goes from there.

        4. Yes, the set up we have in the world of busyness serves the purpose of not being in the stillness we naturally hold within. When I first felt this stillness I felt like I had come home. It felt amazing. Maintaining my connection to it was a whole other ball game. It does take dedication to live in a world that is so very busy all the time and be still amongst it all. It is absolutely possible as I have found and is so very supportive to my body and my sense of well being.

        5. Hello Robyn and I agree, it made so much more sense. We have seen all through our lives, dedicate time and energy to something and you will get a result. So equally dedicate time or presence to just allowing yourself to be still and in time things will change around you. Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon have been leaders in this for years and what has ‘resulted’ has been truly magical. Thanks Robyn.

        6. Yes, Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon reminded me of the stillness within and supported me to re-connect with it. This is a service that is truly magical, as is the experience of re-connecting to the stillness and living it as much as possible.

        7. Hello Robyn and yes they returned us to it. Not by writing or telling anyone anything, but by living it. So the “stillness within” was a living teaching and not just words from a page of old. This living is ongoing and never for a moment stopping to wait but more honouring all that is there from a living quality, simple.

        8. Very simple indeed. To walk the talk is so very powerful and comes with a natural pull for others to do the same, as we see that it is not just possible, it is lived.

        9. Thanks Robyn and if you have an image when you are reading, writing or thinking of ‘walk the talk’ then for me you have possibly already stepped away. The ‘walk the talk’ isn’t taking centre stage or speaking or being seen, it can be as simple as typing on a computer. Everything is everything all the time and never is it different.

        10. So very true Ray. Walking the talk can be everywhere and in everything.

        11. Yeh it’s a natural thing, when you live what you feel and not just speak about it everything is there. It’s not a pipe dream or a silver lining on a cloud, it’s real and tangible. Live a quality, a true quality of how you are with everything you do and the world opens up and then ongoing deepen that quality in everything and the world truly is a different place.

        12. Yes, I have found that my perspective on life has changed significantly “…and the world truly is a different place.” to me now.

        13. Thanks Robyn and this is ongoing. The moment we stop and look back and compare how much better we are then before we are already turning partly away from the next point. Appreciate everything you see but always with our head up knowing that after that moment there is another moment reading and already waiting. The ‘Livingness’ doesn’t punch it’s time card at 5pm, it is a true moment by moment approach to everything.

        14. It does keeps building on itself, that is true. Our reality just keeps expanding the more and more aware we allow ourselves to become. And this does not just happen between the hours of 9am and 5pm, it is a 24 hour a day deal. Evolution is on offer always and in everything. It is up to us to choose it in every moment we can.

        15. Hello Robyn I agree with what you are saying and while it’s true, “Evolution is on offer always and in everything.” the choice comes from a dedication to be truly connected in everything you do. In other words ‘evolution’ isn’t a choice so much as an alignment to an energy, or not. The choice isn’t like we would see it in our current world, this colour, this car, this food etc. It is a moment by moment choice to align to an energy, a living alignment that then through that choice you are pulled to evolve. Evolution is offered from the choice to truly align.

        16. It is interesting what you are saying Ray about choice, as my experience has been that once the choice has been made to align to evolution it then becomes about a series of acceptances, taking us deeper and deeper into the alignment.

     3. “If we are not living in a way that is supportive and loving we then need others to be a certain way.” Which also shows how controlling we are being with ourselves first and foremost, which then spills out to controlling others, as well as our environment.

        1. This is so true Robyn. The way we treat ourselves will then be the way we treat others. So if we try to control others we can be sure that we have the energy of control in our own bodies.

        2. And this can be a bitter pill to swallow, as I have experienced. To admit that the way we are with others is how we are with ourselves first can be a bit of an OUCH moment. But also quite beautiful in confirming all the loving and nurturing ways we are with others and ourselves.

206. “when I realised this situation is not asking me to change myself at all, nor is it asking me to go into anxiety: that is my choice. All the task is asking of me is to find the answer, nothing more, nothing less, so why allow my mind and its antics to dictate how I am going to feel in this situation?” This is a life changing experience and wisdom to learn and know for ourselves. Thank you for sharing this, as anxiety and control is an epidemic in the world for so many and it is through the teachings and reflection of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine that we can begin to understand what is really going on and the power we all have to change things by making loving choices for ourselves.

207. Hello Thomas, I agree and it starts a little closer to home than that. If we are “attempting to control our environment around us and the people in our life” then something has gone on for us. What have we walked past? We are reacting or not wanting to see something we have already felt and this part is the second step away, looking at others. We are the whole, the environment and anything we do with ourselves first is then there equally for everyone. So what are we reflecting into the world around us? A deep care bought about from how we are with ourselves first, a living deep care that is walking our every step because that is who we truly are, or something else.

208. I agree Matthew but I say there is greater awareness and that is why we have such and increase in irresponsibility. We know there is no escaping what we are feeling, the only way you can make it appear you don’t see is by escalating the behaviours around what you have already felt, distract or delay from the feeling. Life is simple be honest about what you are feeling or at least be honest that you feel or continue running from something and the only reason we run is because we have already felt what is there, we really are funny to watch.

209. Julie even your last line is pure gold, ‘Facilitator of my own life, love, and absolute joy.’ Now that is a bumper sticker worth reading and feeling.

     1. Yes it is!

210. Life returns so much to our choices and what energy we choose to make those choices. Control feels very forceful and imposing, like it’s not actually allowing us to feel the choice, but it’s living from a fear of what would be if we were to let it go. It can control us from even realising that we are in control, I have felt it to be that strong. Self responsibility feels like we’ve looked at it, felt it and then decided this is the way to be.

     1. Hello Gill and I agree control is an external thing we choose to go into. It’s not apart of who we are. Then this poses a question, why would we choose something that doesn’t feel that great? The reason would be if our movement to ‘that choice’ has been in a way that allows the choice to be made without feeling as though we actually made the choice. In other words our movements in each moment have a quality, have presence and a deep care in your movements and you can see control coming or if you walk into it then you can feel you are there. Take no care and keep watching and responding to everything outside of you then you have no true idea where you are and your choices, well they are made for you before you even think.

211. When we are being responsible we have the ability to simply surrender to what is already in motion – that is what is already known – there is nothing we need to control, we just need to stay connected and follow the messages from the body. As I allow this more and more I am realising that all that is there for me to do gets done, and the quality it gets done in is exquisite.

     1. All the teachings of Universal Medicine are this simple, the problem is a lot of us think that it is too simple so we do not give it a go, we are so used to complication.

     2. It is simple Carmel, and there is an art to living this simplicity. One I explore in more depth every day.

     3. When we are being responsible we have the ability to simply surrender to what is already in motion – that is what is already known – there is nothing we need to control, we just need to stay connected and follow the messages from the body. My second reminder for this morning Robyn. We stay connected, and move in a way that confirms we are divine, and re-imprint what was before.

        1. Yes Julie, in this quality we are very different to how we have been and so every movement from here on in is a re-imprint of what has come before. Quite beautiful really.

212. Just recently, I was feeling a bit ragged in my body. I stopped one night after I had gotten into bed to feel my body. There was quite a build up of tension so I really centred myself and dropped into a deep surrender, letting go of the tension simply by allowing myself to let go of whatever I was holding onto. The next morning I woke up feeling well rested, but almost instantly I felt the tension return. While I was in the shower I felt how my body was showing me the way I was dealing with the pressures I was feeling around uni and completing work by a deadline. I could feel I was traumatised by this way. Once again I stopped and connected as deeply as I could to the quality that I have come to know as me and the tension once again dissolved. This was interesting to me as it showed me that in the tension I was coming from my mind and ideals I had about the timing of completing my assignments and the push that was being allowed to play out. I also felt how depleted my body was from this, so I took a day where I simply nourished me by nourishing my body, with a gentle walk, a nourishing nap. Afterwards I felt more like me and was able to feel what was needed and when once again. It simply comes down to me being disciplined in staying surrendered and listening to how my body feels in every moment and honouring it. So when it says that is enough, I stop, no ifs or buts about it!

     1. Yes, respecting ourselves by respecting our bodies does bring a stronger quality of presence and energy level to tasks, making them easier to complete, as there is a natural flow that is allowed.

     2. Thank you for all you’ve shared here, Robyn as I have recently returned to studying and it is surprising how quickly I let the mind start ruling and the tension build in the body. Each week is a learning in staying with my body and some great tips here too.

        1. It is a bit of a process jsnelgrove, I agree. Today, as I lay down to take a moment to connect more deeply to my body, I realised that I need to be my own best friend throughout, what can be described as a completely unnatural environment, to support myself and talk with myself in a more consistently loving way. How would I talk to one of my friends if they were in my situation? I certainly wouldn’t drive them to be more, chastise or criticise them for not getting better marks etc. I would in fact remind them of who they are, that they are enough as they are, and to lovingly do what was needed throughout the course of a university degree or diploma through dedication and commitment to the quality of who they are, and taking moments to stop and just allow themselves to be with no thoughts of study or deadlines. I am yet to master this but am willing to give it a red hot go in this life.

        2. Thank you for the expansion Robyn, it is a support and development for us all to discover a true way to take part in life and the necessities that are part of what we have to do to show our worth without our worth being affected and compromising our bodies and beings as we know and can feel we are already all we need to be. And you are correct it is accepting that this is part of the learning but being willing and aware is a start 🙂

        3. Yes, it is a start jsnelgrove36, I agree. A pretty good one too. To live life from the perspective that we are already enough is huge. Navigating our way through the ways in which we withhold this is also part of it and a much needed part in order for us to stay real and grounded through the process.

     3. Beautiful Robyn, this really shows that the quality we choose in each moment leads to the quality of how we are in the next. When we choose to nourish ourselves deeply our quality deepens too.

        1. So true, Christopher, one leads to another.

213. I agree this is such a true statement, Anne, ” I am so much more than my mind will allow me to know”. I am finding this as I go back to uni. The mind is caught in a cycle and within that cycle that is all it knows, until one day someone comes along and reminds the person that is attached to this mind that they have a heart and it is in their body and this is where all wisdom lies. There is no need to think, there is no need to control, and there is no need to avoid responsibility. All is held within our hearts and our bodies are our way back to living the Love that we all innately are, not our minds.

214. I know if my thoughts drift to blaming others for a situation that has arisen then I haven’t taken responsibility for my part in what has occurred. For me now it is always about looking at my own role first before I consider anyone else’s influence. After all it is much easier to change our own patterns of behaviour than it is another person’s.

     1. Yes you are absolutely correct Stephen. And what I am discovering more is that if I go into thinking and blaming another it is a cue to myself that I have disconnected from me and that I need to come back to how I move my body and the quality of my movements. When I change my movements to be in true connection with me, those thought patterns cease to exist.

215. Yes how true this is Robyn, with control comes in the desire to deflect responsibility and instead assert blame – setting us up beautifully so as to not have to deal with the truth of our situations, going into the mind and thus we harden our bodies so as to not feel the truth. When we choose responsibility we are able to feel our choices, reflect and reconsider our actions and in truth begin to see the equal part we all play in creating the life we live.

     1. What a great point you have made Jade, control comes from the mind, and with this the body has to harden to execute it because it is such an unnatural way for us to be, all to avoid the truth. Which is that we chose to go down this road of living from the cold and heartless mind rather than stay with the warmth and surrender that is so natural for us in our hearts.

216. Hello Shelley we can use words to describe this as we do but I am sure you will agree this is a living thing. In other words no matter what heading you give something it is the quality that counts. So, if you know your body still or in a rested state, whatever level that maybe then anything that disturbs that natural state of stillness is a point to acknowledge or feel to the best of your ability and then connect back to the stillness before you take your next step. This process is in a matter of seconds, not minutes or days. The most important point is to always return to your body and how it feels at any moment and this is an ongoing process and not just for show. It’s all about quality.

217. Yes, the body is quite clear about this. When I move in a way that flows with life and is open to what life presents my body feels quite different than when I am trying to get things done.

218. … and when we control, it is a clear warning sign that somewhere along the line we have stopped being responsible.

219. love it…some models talk about data, building to knowledge and then to wisdom but the reality is that life is reverse…start with wisdom and allow it to build the knowledge and inform the data.

     1. Great example Doug…

220. Great words of wisdom Leonne: “When I choose to take responsibility I see that I can remain steady no matter what I am faced with.” Choosing responsibility is one of the strongest building blocks for the steady foundation that holds me no matter what happens in my life. And what I love is the fact this responsibility is not the heavy, scary and restricting weight I used to think it was, but a liberation from the stress and strain of trying to control life.

221. “When I am being responsible there is no need to control.” Such a seemingly simple but incredibly profound statement Robyn, so why then do so many struggle with the concept of responsibility? Perhaps it is simply the fear of letting go of the control of what happens next.

     1. Great question, Ingrid. I wonder if it is because we are too caught up in the control to avoid being truly responsible, therefore there is a struggle to even connect to the concept of true responsibility. There is also the element of having lived a very different version of responsibility to the actual true quality of responsibility. This can also get in the way of us really embracing responsibility for what it is. And I absolutely agree with you that there can be a fear of letting go and surrendering to what already is. This is something I have had to work up to and am now discovering the joy in living this way.

     2. Yes Ray, quality first then move in this quality.

222. Agreed Julie – the inner stillness is the absolute solid foundation to move and live from.
     “I also appreciate the stillness that holds me so beautifully right through the whole process of returning to the truth that I am, as it is my eternal true anchor and guide”.

     1. And it never forsakes us, it is us that forsakes it.

     2. Stephanie I only can agree – I am discovering my stillness more and more and also my appreciation for it. Only since I live it in my body do I understand the power of my stillness.

     3. Stillness is indeed a divine quality of the Soul and something currently under expressed on earth. Unimedpedia Stillness provides more insights into this beautiful quality here: http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia/word-index/unimedpedia-stillness.html

223. Absolutely James, well put – we are spending SO much time and putting SO much energy into trying to achieve our expectations and images that we keep in our heads, that we forget all about things like building truly supportive relationships and taking care of our bodies. Relationships are a great example of how we do this – if both parties are trying to measure the relationship against an image or expectation, then achieving this ‘perfection’ or picture is ranked much higher than supporting or truly loving one another.

     1. Such a great point Susie and one of the reasons why so many relationships fail. We want our partners to live up to the ideals or beliefs we have about them and if they do not somehow we see them as failures instead of appreciating them for the amazing beings that they are. This includes friends and families as well. The more we can allow people to simply be themselves along with ourselves without any of the images about how life should be like the more enjoyable it will be – It certainly is for me!

224. Exactly Matthew, our bodies have so much to contend with when we place them in an unnatural rhythm and movement – one which keeps us held in struggle and complication and away from our natural flow. The body has no choice but to clear this.

225. That is great Sandra, and the more we let go of the control the more fluid our movements become. I have also found I hold a lot less tension in my body now than I used to and am far less up tight about things!

226. So true, James. Trying to fit our lives into pictures is hard work and takes a bit of an army to control all the different variables involved to make it all fit. It’s exhausting really and a path paved with hurt and reactions because the pictures are not reality so attempting to make them reality is a bit of a moot point! Living a far greater life than unrealistic pictures feels like an amazing option.

     1. It sure is an amazing option and something we should all try, we then get to be surprised by unexpected things as well and, at least in my experience so far, surpass all pre-conceived expectations.

        1. That is so beautiful James. I too experience this when I let go of having to have things a certain way. It really is a great way to live.

227. That has certainly been my experience johanna08smith. In the moments when I am controlling I am doing this in order to not face feeling the mess that has occurred from me not living responsibly. Because it hurts to feel my part in the disarray that has ensued. But once I do and the pain passes I feel more connected to myself and everyone around me. So delaying being responsible and instead being controlling really serves no one. It only creates more hurt and pain in fact.

228. It really is that simple to simply be a Son of God – thanks to the presentations by Serge Benhayon.

     1. Simple.

     2. Yep. Simple.

     3. Yes indeed it is very, very simple but initially not that easy in a world that is currently and predominantly expressing the opposite. Takes love, commitment and responsibility.

229. “I can just come from that natural steadiness inside of me and then my own stillness can hold me so beautifully right through the whole process of finding an answer in any situation whatsoever”. So simple yet so powerful Julie; self responsibility is certainly the key. Thank you for your beautiful expression and sharing.

     1. I love this paragraph too Shirl – stillness offers a space where there is trust and a deep inner knowing.

230. It’s really quite something to acknowledge, ‘this situation is not asking me to change myself at all.’ Indeed situations are just what is happening at present. But all too often I imbue them with beliefs and expectations.

     So it’s quite something to stop and feel actually there is space between the situation and myself. Space where I can feel my body and what is a response that supports. That in this space I have a choice – a situation does not dictate the terms. It might seem like it within work for example, to adhere to the culture within work when actually that’s a choice – usually born from a fear of not fitting in and being ostracized.

     1. This is great what you share here Karin, to feel that “there is space between the situation and myself”. When I can allow myself to feel that I truly have a choice to respond from my body and not just go into a reaction or a default program that is running me.

     2. And if I do not honour this space, the movements of my body will go into an autopilot of habits that I have done many times over which in affect keep me disconnected and in a particular pattern. When I honour the space between myself and the situation, there is a different relationship to and with my body and I am able to change my movements accordingly in a way that honours the space which I feel not only in my body but also in my being.

     3. It is a great point you make Karin about the space and it also occurs to me how often everyone is adhering to the culture as you put it for fear of not fitting in – so who set the culture in the first place and what if everyone allowed themselves to be who they truly are? How strange if we are all pretending to be someone else because others are pretending to be someone else because we all want to fit in???!! … but if we were ourselves we would be truly connected in our one essence and what we would experience is way beyond fitting in, but the great joy of unity and brotherhood!

        1. I regularly experience that great joy of unity and brotherhood at Universal Medicine courses and events. I am blessed to also experience it at work, where I work with a team of people committed to living, working and expressing with awareness, love and energetic integrity as presented by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

231. This is something that I am working with Judith, and it is amazing how my thoughts change positively so, when I choose to move my body in a way that supports it/me rather than overriding what it wants to do with my mind.

232. Hello Leonne, I agree with what you are saying and the responsibility comes from feeling the ‘stress’ or the change in your body and returning to presence or a true connection to what’s next. The responsibility is the true connection or returning to the stillness or settle feeling before you take the next step. To think we can go from a ‘tension’ to a ‘responsibility’ in the same moment as a ‘choice’ will lead to another ride on the merry go round. The responsibility is always a return, rather then a better choice.

     1. Great point Ray. And it is the way we move that guarantees a true change, and not any idea or ‘better’ choice that comes from our mind.

        1. Yes Kylie and like anything and like we have known since young, anything we do we need to live. So as you say, “it is the way we move that guarantees a true change, and not any idea or ‘better’ choice that comes from our mind.”So we should stop thinking on how to change the world and start moving in a way that we would love the world to be. In other words live the future we see now.

     2. Can it be possibly this simple Deborah? Just our movement and the conscious, consistent deep care of it makes a “great and true change” From everything I have seen I say yes and it’s a great move. Serge Benhayon, the master of movement.

        1. ‘Serge Benhayon, the master of movement’ and master of the movement of True Living.

        2. Thank you Deborah and I see these as one and the same. We having ‘living’ defined as so many things but living is simply movement. Take great care in every movement and everything else will come from that. Take no care and just live life and it will feed you back that you should be aware of your movement. The way we move is everything.

     3. Awesome Ray: “The responsibility is always a return, rather than a better choice.” what a great comment and yes Kylie we are responsible for the quality of our movements… the consequence of this is one of the great keys of life that Serge Benhayon has presented.

        1. Thanks Nicola and it’s great to see it so simply. We talk of responsibility as a spoken word but not often as action with our body.

     4. ‘The responsibility is always a return, rather then a better choice.’ – Ray this is very true, your comment brings it back to simplicity.

        1. Thanks Eva and a great reminder always whether or not you are in the thick of things is to bring “it back to simplicity”. In other words, live simplicity in your every move and when you need it, it can’t help but be at your fingertip.

233. I agree Julie and “It highlights the importance of presence as best as we can.” and I would leave it as “It highlights the importance of presence”. I am not saying we would need to be hard on ourselves either but be responsible, knowing that any point we aren’t present, it is not love and so why would we want that. The dedication is to presence with everything in every moment, not perfect but a clear dedication.

234. Julie thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing this blog. It is filled to the brim with pertinent and power-full lines that sing the truth. It is exactly what I needed to hear and will read this regularly. This line particularly jumped out – “why allow my mind and its antics to dictate how I am going to feel in this situation?”. We do that so so often but it is the wisdom of the body is where it is at.

     1. it is the wisdom of the body is where it is at. Yes Sarah, absolutely. When we give ourselves space when we feel the tension, it opens it up to be seen and felt very clearly.

     2. I agree Sarah, this is an exceptionally fantastic blog full to the brim with many gems.

235. Lack of acceptance and therefore lack of understanding are huge issues in how we deal with and live life; but then there is nothing out there that addresses this problem as truthfully and practically as do Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and its practitioners.

     1. I agree Gabriele, I struggled terribly with a lack of acceptance of myself and life. It is through the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom as presented by Serge Benhayon I have now finally begun to truly heal this within myself.

236. “If I choose to blame the situation or thing, … that deflects away from the fact that I don’t wish to feel that I haven’t taken full responsibility for my feelings and am thus using the situation as the reason for my tension.” These words are gold and so true – rather than taking responsibility for our behaviours, we can think that it is easier to blame all and sundry; only thing is that that doesn’t change anything. Control works to a degree and is very arduous and hardening to the body and the mind, but it doesn’t deliver freedom, let alone ease or joy.

     1. So true Gabriele and if we were to remain connected to the body we would feel the shift in our body each time we went into control, this would be a great marker for us to let go of the control and come back love.

        1. Yes, the body is great at showing us what energy we are choosing – control or self-responsibility.

237. Hello Donna and I agree, this ‘control’ doesn’t just sneak up on us in the morning. It is there in the way we live well before the choice to go into it or not. So while it’s great to be aware of when we ‘go into it’, you could say at this point you are already in it. Be present and connect to every part of your life and there is no need to live with a control as life isn’t about control or not, it’s simply about connection.

238. We have a multitude of choices or so it would seem, but are there a multitude? Or is there just one, to be present and connected with everything you do or not. So if at any point we ‘arrive’ at a choice and say we go into control, this would only show a past pattern or momentum of the same choice. Where as arrive at a choice and no matter what it is choose presence and connection then you will see it wasn’t a choice about a thing but a choice of how you would like to live. We don’t just arrive at any given point, we walk or live to that point. All that point reflects to us is how we have lived to that point, if you choose something other than what is truly you then it’s not about changing the choice but changing the way you live. That way no matter what presents in front of you, you will choose you every time.

     1. This is so beautifully said Ray, life is so simple!
        The question that arises looking at the world is, do we like it to be that simple? Or do we prefer the many choices over the one choice, so we can have all the drama and complication that it brings because it gives us an identity and all the stimulation that we seek?

        1. Ah Judith, super well summed up and yes disagree, react and throw stones if you like but nothing can take away from the quality of what is being said here. Life is truly simple, it is and has always been our choice to complicate and create it any other way. We only need let go of what we have created and more and more we will see life in it’s simplicity. Thank you Judith.

     2. So if at any point we ‘arrive’ at a choice and say we go into control, this would only show a past pattern or momentum of the same choice.
        “Where as arrive at a choice and no matter what it is choose presence and connection then you will see it wasn’t a choice about a thing but a choice of how you would like to live.” I absolutely love your expression here Ray, so much wisdom and absolute power in the words that you most definitely live. Taking us all to another level. Thank-you.

        1. Hello Julie and great thank you. So if we have gone into, ‘Life isn’t like that, it’s ok for them or him to say that, I wish I said that, who does he think he is’ etc etc, again this has different words but just simply another choice not to “choose presence and connection” If you want to live the difficult life, simple, appreciate nothing around you and put your head down into Monday. If you are tired of this circle of life then appreciate everything that is said here and walk your next step, then simply repeat. See you ‘walking’ Julie.

     3. Hi Ray, you say: “We have a multitude of choices or so it would seem, but are there a multitude? Or is there just one, to be present and connected with everything you do or not.”

        I agree we only have one choice and I would say that that one choice is which energy we connect to… and in that there are only two choices. Do we connect to the Soulful energy of love and truth or the astral energy of all that is not of truth and true love (which does not have an ounce of emotion in it). EVERYTHING that happens thereafter is a consequence of which energy we are expressing – so simple!

        1. I love how simple this is Nicola, the beauty in simplicity is unparalleled. We can fight all we like, there is truly only one choice.

     4. Great comment, it really brings life back to responsibility.

        1. Thank you Sarah and that is what responsibility truly is, a living action rather than a confession. We will so often go to a spoken word and want people to believe us rather then putting the work in on the ground first. In other words, action what you are talking about first and then the words you speak carry this imprint. Responsibility spoken without a change in how you live is just words on a page.

        2. You just keep on delivering gold, it is amazing what we have inside for us to share and what I love is that it is on the internet for anyone to access if they wish to. Thank you for reminding me that words only hold power if they have a living quality.

        3. Thank you and it is an ever deepening responsibility that we may not wish to see, the fact that everything we do, no matter how big or small, whether witnessed or not, is felt by everyone thereafter.

        4. Thats big and very all encompassing, thank you, I needed that today.

        5. Thanks Sarah I agree and yet a simple choice in each moment. Get caught in anything past that and you have already possible stepped away from what we have said. No further delay needed, just step back.

        6. I am standing in the appreciation of what is on offer in my life, nothing to step back to, as I have been fortunate enough to not step away today. I agree though, I am a big one for delay and getting caught up making things too big or bigger than they are. In the past I have chosen this in order to escape responsibility, not anymore, I am not going to be anywhere accept right here in the moment, in a quality that I know works and in deep appreciation for everything including myself.

        7. Well worth appreciating Sarah and a road map for all of us.

        8. Its taken me a long time to realise that something as simple as appreciation can be what is missing from a day or a moment. I have never regretted appreciating something or someone too much but I have regretted not appreciating someone or something enough. So yes I agree Ray, it is a road map worth travelling on.

        9. Great point Sarah and it could be possible that the “regret” comes in from knowing something like this but walking past it because we have made something else more important. Turn the tables on life and simply appreciate. It’s not a blind hope or a positive spin but true appreciation for what you see in front of you, the little things. It certainly has changed my view and is my go too when I feel myself walking down a road of regret.

        10. I love your conversation here, it is very uplifting and brings more clarity with every word spoken. Yes, life is simple as it always comes back to a choice to either staying present and with us in every moment or not. By living this consistently a whole chunk of what we had thought life to be breaks away from our life and we start to see and experience that there is no need for drama and making life complicated.

        11. Thanks for the input Esther, you sum it up beautifully.

239. I organized something on the weekend with the underlying concept of ‘simple’. Still, there were definite moments where tension wanted to creep in about how it should be and look. These were awesome to observe because none of them were coming from anywhere else but my thoughts. I held the power of keeping it simple or going with the push for some illusionary picture.

240. “I also find that appreciating and learning to surrender in my body has allowed me to embrace the fragility in me without any need of protection in my body.” Thank you Francisco. I have just started to become aware that I don’t need to harden in my body in reaction to a situation. To “embrace the fragility in me without any need of protection” this is a new awareness for me, that it is possible to feel safe and trust my body that it is wise and will know how to respond without relinquishing my delicateness and sensitivity.
     From a whole lifetime of hardening my body and ‘ steeling’ myself in reaction to what I feel, having developed and ingrained coping behaviours such as being dismissive, abrupt, tuning out, this is a huge, brave new me again emerging. It is Powerful to read such words as yours and other students, feeling the support of others living and learning to be our innately natural selves we were born to be.

241. Kate I too had not fully appreciated how often I spend my days reacting to what is going on, instead of allowing myself the space to feel and acknowledge what is going on, as a deeply sensitive man. It is also something I am working on.

     1. It is interesting because usually we feel first and then react to what we feel often because we want it to be different to how it is or don’t know how to handle our feelings and what we have picked up so we try to control the situation.

242. So true, we are all mazzaratti’s on the inside, but so many of us treat ourselves like some kind of beat up rust bucket and then complain that our bodies are not performing as they should.

     Said another way, that untold wisdom in the body, is our divinity, we then trash our bodies and say that there is no such thing a divinity… in one way we are right, because we can’t feel it, but it’s never gone, just in need of a tune up!

     1. I always had that feeling that I was only ever in first or second gear. Universal Medicine and the teachings of Serge Benhayon are inspiring me to run up through the gears…and I’m loving it….and then there is the car itself. Maserati? Yes please…although perhaps with greater reliability (consistency)

243. Great Nicole, it is a huge freedom reclaimed when we can stop trying to own the answers to everything in life, and try to control it, and instead allow ourselves to open up and surrender, then what we feel and understand gives us all the answer we need in that instant.

     1. Trying to control an outcome is solely driven by our need for security and protection; and is always at our expense because we need to fight for it (so to speak). Surrendering is the only true way to ensure any outcome – you cannot determine what it will look like; but you can guarantee that it will be an outcome that comes from simplicity and will be supportive on all levels.

     2. What you are sharing Annie is true freedom, what we all want but are too afraid to allow.

244. I agree Susan; the quality in the way we move is key. It would be near impossible to go into control mode when we are moving with quality.

245. “…, I can feel the huge difference in my body and how spacious it feels to claim myself back from the thoughts that will take me down the blaming path and away from my own wise, inner counsel.” Great statement that brings us back to the truth in the moment before the mind can spoil it if we allow it to do so.

246. Well said Alexis, “the truth is the starting point is always with us. We are the start and the finish of everything.” This is spot on. All our choices, no matter how small, lead us to where we are and what goes on around us. Therefore we have the choice to get caught up in other peoples stuff and start blaming or ridiculing others, or not. By not engaging in this way we are not giving energy to something that is holding us in that control, but taking responsibility for what we truly know and who we are, which ultimately benefits everyone.

247. Living from the basis of control is so exhausting. For the body and mind it is like a juggler attempting to keep all the balls constantly in the air, never letting one drop.

     1. Great question posed here – where have we taken the balls from to juggle and complicate our lives? The more the inner connection and true movement deepens, there is less complication and contraction in our body.

     2. I love this analogy Jonathan. I have been a master juggler in my time and wore the badge proudly whilst all the time being absolutely exhausted. At times I felt I was one of the balls too, being juggled by life, madly trying to control things whilst failing miserably. I have learnt over time that all this juggling is not necessary, it creates complications and the balls usually land on top of me. There is another way of being that is so much more honouring of ourselves and our own rhythms. Thank you Julie for a beautiful reminder of the grandness we can celebrate when we choose to surrender.

        1. I echo your comment Jane and have recently voluntarily placed my balls down and let them roll down the hill never to be seen again! What a relief to let it all go, draw a line and realise that non of these balls or what I thought they brought to me matter anywhere near as much as the juggler I’d been ignoring my whole life! Realising all that matters is the connection with my giant heart ball has been a huge revelation for me and it’s so simple that my control hungry mind is struggling to accept it! One step at a time… The balls are down and that is a great start! ❤️💛💚💙💜💖

     3. Yes I agree Rachel, complication may look enticing but its just a way to avoid living in simplicity.

        1. And it is exhausting Christopher.

     4. Very true Jonathan and it does not even work as it is pure illusion that we can actually control anything in the first place!

     5. The whole point about complication is that it gives us recognition and individuality which is quite the opposite of surrendering to our innate grandness and truth where all is very simple and known. We create the complication in the first place and then say oh look at me, me, me and how hard I work and clever I am to solve this complication.

        1. This makes me smile Nicola as I recollect how I have played this little game in my life.

     6. I agree Johnathan, it is very tiring to be part of. I like what Julie offers here in terms of “letting go not as in giving up; I am actually surrendering to my own grandness and wisdom” … its surrender that accepts our responsibility to be all we are.

     7. Very true, Rachel. Those who give us a good show by juggling the most balls are given the label of successful, but we do not see them break down backstage from the energy expended and the disregard that they must treat themselves with.

        1. The show does not end when we step off stage…even if nobody else sees or knows the reality.

     8. Very true, Jonathan. It can be extremely stressful trying to keep all the balls in the air all the time!

     9. That is an interesting point Rachael, I have often looked at someone who manages to juggle a super busy complicated life but make it look good and been impressed. But my suspicion is that the outside image is very different to the turmoil and anxiousness inside from constantly putting so much stress on their bodies. You are right complication is always complication and never necessary.

        1. …and now I go of to clear a bit more of it from my own life. 🙂
           Ah, how easily it creeps in, but like weeds in a garden, easily cleared with care, attention and not leaving it too long.

        2. Beautiful metaphor – so true if we look at life like a garden that needs constant care and attention and of course… weeding out what should’t be there.

248. Appreciating and confirming ourselves is a responsible way of being as we are building a strong foundation to then be able to deepen and evolve further.

249. Yes and then the finished job does not contain the true quality it needs to to be of service so we may surmise from this that it is a waste of our time, the very thing that we are trying to save…time…quite ridiculous if you consider this picture.

250. Because of images we hold about how we think we want things to be we do not appreciate what we actually have.

     1. Absolutely Rachel we end up not appreciating the gold that is in front of our very eyes.

     2. … and we remain blind to our own reality. The ultimate irresponsibility.

     3. And we miss out on the precious moment and the beauty that is before us.

     4. Yes it is quite exposing how much we live in the past or future and not be present in our bodies right here, right now. If we were to do this we would be connecting to our divinity every single moment. This is what we are missing out on.

     5. Spot on marylouisemyers!

     6. Absolutely Johanna, we are blind to who we are and what we have until we choose to let go of these images.

     7. That is a great point Mary-Louise, another reason to let go of the images.

     8. Too true Mary Louise – I didn’t think of it like that before. Being so attached to how I want or think things should be, I actually miss how great everything actually is – pure madness!

251. Our body is the marker of truth, to quote Serge Benhayon and our mind creates images that we cannot live up to as there is not one ounce of truth in these images.

252. A friend shared with me today, how to them grace is the very opposite of control. Hearing this it touched me how when we live without needing to control life’s outcomes our body and its movements are natural, easy and flowing. Controlling as you say Julie just seems to make us rigid and hard. What’s also beautiful to see, is that living in an allowing way also gives other people the grace to simply be, free from need judgement and demand. Gosh grace is surely the way we were designed to be.

     1. Grace is in the allowing for another space to reach their own understanding and in their own time. Judgement comes in when we impose time or expectations upon another, and does nothing to support them only adds to the spin.

        1. Joseph and Annie I love your comments about grace. When I feel grace in another, I am graced by their presence and inspired to bring my presence. But judgement, that just closes us down to functional, defensive beings and robs us of connection.

        2. Love what you both share here Joseph and Annie, it is interesting to see in my work with children that many are beginning to see that children like adults need time and space to be, that as adults we are there to support, not control and through this we allow children to develop self-responsibility and self-awareness. But it all begins with how we are in and towards ourselves and I can feel as you have expressed Joseph, it absolutely begins with grace and the allowing of self to just be, without the need of the mind to control and harden the body. Absolutely fascinating to feel this within oneself and to begin to feel and know the difference and it’s effect on all others.

        3. Being graceful to ourselves adds a further dimension to our expression. It is absolutely wonderful.

        4. Giving ourselves the grace to be where we are at and to enjoy all that we are learning and discovering naturally means we will be able to offer this grace to others.

        5. Absolutely Annie. Well said. It ‘…..only adds to the spin.’

        6. I absolutely LOVE this blog and love your comments Joseph and Annie. Grace and Space are two of my favourite words and they even rhyme.

        7. Awesome explanation Joseph and Annie! Really helps me understand what it is to judge another… I can see letting go of expectations and the control to fulfill them is going to be huge for me 😍

     2. And grace is a quality that comes from our bodies when we are connected and choosing a quality of movement in them.

        1. I agree Simon, and I feel there is so much truth expressed here, particularly this ..”Lately I am noticing that when there is something that needs to be resolved and I don’t feel in control of the outcome, I start to harden in my body and become stressed.”
           I know this one well. It is often prevalent in my relationships with others, when I want to have it work out my way-to feel “safe”. This is profound for me as I have not allowed for this to occur and feel I need to…”But in doing it this way, there is no focus on my quality of being whatsoever and I have taken myself away from feeling my body, and so I lose all sense of what my body may need or is communicating to me. Come back to the body as the marker of all truth.

     3. This is so beautifully expressed Joseph and so deeply felt in my body!

     4. Beautifully expressed Joseph. Grace is our bodies natural way to be. Our movements flow and we feel spacious and open to allow us the opportunity to connect to all.

     5. Beautiful comment to take into my every day. Thank you Deborah.

     6. ‘Gosh grace is surely the way we were designed to be.’ – Love it Joseph!

     7. I absolutely love the word grace, that makes perfect sense that grace is the opposite of control, there is a naturalness and ease and contentment within yourself that allows others the same grace to be who they are.

253. I have had a similar experience Alison, sometimes can feel tension in my body before I walk into a situation, which has made me stop and question what quality am i bringing to the situation.

254. Matilda I love the analogy of control being the ‘white knuckle ride of us trying to keep away from some imagined ‘jaws of chaos’!’ It’s laughable when looked at this way, and brings lightness and a cartoon style humour to this silly behaviour that is so ingrained.

255. Time always confounds me too. When I get fixed on time the space available for a task shrinks and leads to a cycle of stress, less competence and less space. The mind is so bossy about time, so believing it to be real, when in fact it is only a measure. Space is timeless.

256. Julie reading this blog has been a true gift to me, as I was edging towards blame and defence in regard to a situation that was presented to me yesterday. It reminds me that beyond the small details of the situation what is truly being asked of me is to take more responsibility for how I am with myself so that I made build a more supportive daily rhythm and bring more of me to the situation in hand.

     1. Oh yes me too. I am making something much more complicated than it needs to be and now allowing the space for me just to find the answer…..this line particularly felt like it was talking to me ” All the task is asking of me is to find the answer, nothing more, nothing less, so why allow my mind and its antics to dictate how I am going to feel in this situation?”. I am avoiding the responsibility of the task and creating a drama around it by making it more complicated. Check. Great reminder thank you Julie.

257. This is great Julie “at those times when I can feel myself wanting to blame, I remind myself what is really being asked of me here, and keep it really simple and honouring of my body and its true function.” Keeping it simple creates a flow from an otherwise repeat of the same behavior, same thought, and possibly mundane existence where nothing is great, unless it’s the weekend or a holiday, and life becomes ‘boring’. Simplicity brings a refreshing light and a new look keeping you afloat and in control of your way and not the systematic way. Simplicity is awesome!

258. Stillness is where its at! 🙂

259. I so agree Katie nothing is worth losing our quality of being for no matter how important we may think it is……this is a game changer.

260. I feel so much more satisfaction in finishing an assignment or any task when the quality in which I have gone about it in does not change from start to finish and I remain connected to my body and express from the tenderness of my being.

261. When you remain steady and connected to your body, and trust and allow, what will come is more than what is required, for when you give it over to the universe holding yourself in the full equal power that you are, you become one with the universe and all the answers are there naturally so.

262. This week I stopped a moment to realize and appreciate how much less anxiety I have. It just shows that I feel confident within myself that I can handle whatever comes in front of me. That, and also that I know what to say in any given moment. The more confident I feel, the less control I need.

263. It was super-supportive to read this line i.e.. a great reminder “All the task is asking of me is to find the answer, ..” How many times do we make tasks much harder than they are and place so much pressure on ourselves to complete and keep it simple to the objective, this is not to say also thinking about other things while we do a task. Just as long as we have purpose and aim for that all tasks will complete with a joyful outcome.

264. What you have presented Julie is an ongoing learning for me, staying present without getting caught up in the momentum of completing tasks.

265. Trying to control a situation feels awful in the body, like a compression of our cells and nothing flows in a natural rhythm within the body.

266. Realising control is a form of protection is revelation. Self-responsibility in life changes everything. We can choose to react or respond.

267. Thanks Julie, when we disregard the body’s wisdom and natural intelligence and let the control kick in there is a force we introduce that takes us out of harmony. We have an innate knowing from our inner connection.

268. Yes we do always have a choice to either indulge in mental or emotional issues or stay with a quality of be-ing and choose what is next from a clarity.

     1. We always have a choice either to learn from our mistake or to berate ourselves. Berating ourselves is a complete waste of energy and extremely irresponsible.

269. Defeating the control monster is a Herculean task – well it has been for me! Surrendering to the flow is one of the most challenging things I’ve attempted, especially when deadlines abound. I’m working with understanding the difference between time and space, time being what confounds us, space being what enables us to work without constraint.

270. I agree Leigh – In this blog Julie has offered us all a ‘pit-stop’ to re-evaluate our direction and choices to how we are in situations of stress or frustration. A call to come back to the body is received and the fact that our responsibility lies with caring for our body and allowing it to be the vehicle of expression. We don’t have to come up with the solutions or answers, it’s already done for us when we surrender and let go of the individual and it’s need for recognition.

271. I feel like this blog is one that I will come back to a few times as it gives the tools and practicality of surrendering what we think we know to the greater wisdom of our bodies and what they belong to… The Universe. If we leave it up to our minds to figure it out we are fighting mental energy with mental energy, and from experience, that just makes things very complicated and dense in the body. Opening up and letting go of the pictures we think we need to succeed is a great step to embodying true knowing.

272. I agree Katie, whenever we go into control we need to harden our bodies and letting go of it layer by layer creates more space and flow in our movements and a beautiful reflection for others to feel.

273. Spot on Lee, it is simply about the quality that we bring to anything that we do and then the outcome is guaranteed to be to the benefit of all.

274. Yes Alexandra, you are spot on… we do have a choice in our response to any situation… and it is amazing how often we choose to react, rather than respond in a way that allows resolution

275. Yes great point Jonathan… responsibility for everything we experience in life is 101 when it comes to evolving and not remaining as victim to whatever life appears to have brought our way.

276. I find that my breathing can be affected by how I move and how I move can affect my breathing, so the responsibility is to be aware of both my breath and my movements.

     1. Yes Shami, and the quality we are moving in too… This focus and intent can rid life from the complications that lead to stress and frustration in the first place.

277. It’s interesting to observe in ourselves that ‘ there is a knowing that it is absolutely my choice to choose to go into tension or not.’ It’s like taking a moment to feel it before it happens in a way that I had previously thought was instantaneous and I had no choice. Understanding that there’s a choice gives us a pause to check, and decide whether to go down that route or not. Not control but increased awareness, as you say Julie, fascinating to feel it.

278. Very well said Alison; ‘I’m the one who chooses to stop listening.’ We can get quite frustrated, annoyed or angry at our bodies for reacting to our choices, such as when we bloat, feel exhausted, injure ourselves or fall ill, but as you said the body hasn’t actually reacted in any way shape or form, it has kept sending us messages and it is US who have chosen to stop listening.

279. It reminds us that we are part of something so much bigger than the little world we so desperately try to control!

280. Great point Alison… the next step in any situation is always right there for us, its just a question of whether we are open to it, or stressed and shut down to it.

281. Yes indeed Amita, allowing and trusting is a big one. But, as you say, there is then a flow to life and events and people constellation to support what is needed.

282. So many of us want to control our lives, the outcomes of situations for our own individual security. I know I do. To surrender to a bigger picture would mean giving this up, but looking at everything from what is needed by the world, rather than what can I get out of something personally. A big change in energy required.

283. Over the years, my understanding of what responsibility is all about has changed so much. I used to think of it as something that was a burden and hard to do. It has been such a joy to get to know what true responsibility is and this has helped to let go of needing to control everything and simply take responsibility for what I feel and know. The more I do that the easier it is to accept other people’s choices and indeed to celebrate my own choices.

     1. Beautifully expressed Elizabeth, I too viewed responsibility as a burden rather than the joy, commitment and simplicity I now understand it to be. I also love your point about celebrate both others and our own choices.

284. Second time I have read the word surrender! I was just reading something else on another site .. maybe it is time to surrender deeper within my body and to the Love within I know.

285. Having read your blog Julie, I am really appreciating how much tension and expectations I have released, I am not experiencing my old patterns. An example of one that is obvious at the moment is I am staying with friends in their home and usually I would have a level of anticipating the day or what I need to say to be worthy of the invitation, a level of nervousness trying to fit in and all that mind silliness but I am not experiencing any of it … so I am living and observing with gentleness and stillness and I am really noticing and appreciating the shift in my body as a result of my livingness.

286. ” my body is my love barometer, my greatest guide ” and how exquisite does even a taste of that feel when the connection to the all is felt, it surrenders me to a particle in the bigger picture.

287. The amazing, surprising thing is that taking care of our body has far more benefits than we may think for our well-being, well beyond the obvious.

     1. Yes Christoph, choosing to self care is a very simple but very important choice to keep us connected to our bodies’ inner radars that tell us where we are at.

288. “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent” – that is true but some people are absolutely relentless in their abuse and it takes a great ability to withstand such a torrent. Thankfully that is rare but regrettably this torrent is getting more common on the internet.

289. I had a dream last night where my car rolled back and landed on its roof, I immediately interpreted this as meaning I am going back ward and started to analysis my behaviour. Then I pondered further on the dream and realised that could not happen as there are safety rails in place. I then realised the dream was not reflecting any truth but was to derail me and enforce a negative, self critical analysis, in doing so I was giving consent to feel inferior. It’s been so confirming to read your blog this morning Julie and realise I have a choice and my mind will send in all sorts of distractions away from the simplicity of knowing who I am within.

290. Yes and then to compensate we seek entertainment which checks us even more out and leaves us even more unsatisfied. The joy and contentment we feel in ourselves when we live a very simple life impulsed by the divine has been unknown to me before Universal Medicine and no form of lifestyle was ever giving me not even the slightest feeling of joy I hold today in my body 24/7.

291. “My whole body has been affected and influenced by my choice to force and control just to get a job/task done” – and what was hard for me was to be constantly finding myself in situations where I would feel insecure and need to keep controlling. Thanks to Serge and Natalie Benhayon, I am being able to deepen my understanding about the fact that the options for our next choices are only made available based on our previous choices, and terminate that vicious circle of control and manipulation.

292. I can so relate to that awful feeling of the body contracting whenever I push myself to complete a task against the natural flow of my body . Or when I loose that natural rhythm and choose to go into rush etc.

293. ‘With deepest gratitude and appreciation for Serge Benhayon as it is through him that I am coming to know my true self every day and feel truly inspired to be that graceful reflection.’ After reading your beautiful unfolding Julie I too felt enormous gratitude for Serge Benhayon, a true world teacher

294. Will also miss out on the opportunity to see the flow of life and all that it offers. We definitely play our part, but with no pictures of how the world should be, the magic can happen.

295. Our choice to be loving, or even to just be ourselves with whatever we do in any day transforms our experience of life, and creates a point of inspiration for everyone we meet.

296. What you offer Rowena is that inner control is as much an illusion as outer control. We can’t control the way our blood pumps, or the way our hair grows, but we can bring self-care and self-love as essential ingredients and then we influence both our internal and external world.

297. In leadership control is often seen as essential, for example that you can martial a team of people in the same direction, but as any leader worth their muster will tell you, controlling people isn’t leading them, and what is instead required is clarity and inspiration.

     1. What a difference it will be in organisation and teamwork, if control were dropped and all leaders were to choose for clarity and inspiration.

     2. I agree Heather a true leader inspires others by their livingness and people naturally want to follow as they see in them the real deal.

298. Most of the world sees control as a normal part of life that is healthy and needed. The question is how imposing on others is the attempt to control? You could even argue that control is a complete illusion, any parent will tell you that.

299. Spot on Felix, the spirit is a part of me, a part that struggles to take responsibility. I like to see this part of myself sometimes as a small child that is with me 24/7 and at times (or really most of the time) this small child can kick and scream or drag its feet or make a scene or in general be difficult about something, lack cooperation. And so it is about laying the boundary and holding myself deeply with care and love and understanding and checking my source of energy – what source feeds me in full, all of me OR what feeds the tantrums, the lack of cooperation. But in the end these tantrums and lack of cooperation are my choice to indulge in or NOT.

300. A great blog Julie, and one I can very much relate to. It highlights the irresponsibility of control where we choose to focus on everything outside of us rather than being responsible for how we are in each moment i.e. what energy are we choosing in whatever we are saying, thinking or doing.

301. So true Susie…control is a great distraction – an avoidance of looking after ourselves, looking at our choices – an irresponsible way of living in fact.

302. Our body is the one thing that our choices have an instant affect and command over. It is there that our responsibility begins and ends. Far from diminishing our responsibility, it focuses it in on the place where it truly lies, and removes it from the places where our mind likes to think that are its business, which are not.

     1. Instead of controlling everything and everyone around us, it is indeed all about the focus solely on our body. How loving -or not loving – are the choices we make? And how willing are we to feel the after-effects? It is all about responsibility, not controll.

303. That sentence flies in the face of our perceived victim hood, and the justification we so often use against those whom we see as having wronged us.

304. This is very true Elizabeth, I have become very aware of this lately, in the past I would rush a lot to try and get as much done as possible and get very stressed if I had a long day coming up knowing I would get really tired and not be able to cope, now i stay steady and calm and know that if I do not rush but just work through what i need to gently without being hard with my body then this will support me for the whole day i will not end up exhausted.

305. Beautifully said Alexis, the truth behind our choice to be in tension as a diversion to avoid self-responsibility is something most would relate to, if they were honest enough. Seeing it as just a repeated pattern however, rather than personalising the trait as your own, is also part of the key to re-imprinting it as a response to the way things are.

306. Julie thank you for your insights, it is a revelation in itself to know that it is a choice to go into tension around a situation, and not a ‘natural response to the situation’, as we normally assume. Understanding it as a choice changes everything and brings a whole new level of responsibility with it.

307. Yes, it is always a choice, something we can’t hear often enough.

308. I like how you unravel how going into tension is self inflicted and blaming it on another is simply an excuse to not see and take the responsibility we have.

309. “Surrendering to our own grandness”. This is what is waiting when we let go of the hurts and ideals that define and shape who we are, it’s just we can’t feel the beauty of this grandness until we actually let go.

310. I absolutely love this analogy Sara, so very true.

311. Great point Katie and when we compromise quality in order to complete things we discover that our self-satisfaction is short-lived – a bit of a fizzer!

312. “We also do not get to experience the joy of the unexpected – so often what we do not expect is so much greater or grander than we could ever have imagined if only we surrender and allow what is there to be there.” Beautifully expressed James – love it.

313. Gosh Felix, this responsibility thing leaves no stone unturned!

314. Well said and I agree with everything you have shared Alison and particularly love your last sentence “The test is to acknowledge what is going on without giving in to the control or anxiousness, rather, to choose to stay with and claim our power and glory and that is what will support us and guide us through.”

315. I really appreciate reading Eleanor Roosevelt’s words of wisdom “No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” A timeless gift for all who have the good fortune to be presented with it.

316. Very true Doug…we like to play along for as long as we can though, until our games up.

317. A well worn keystroke that one – to blame others rather than see our part and the learning on offer.

318. “There’s no need for any picture of how that might look like, just a choice to stay with my body, breathe my breath and allow my innate, deep wisdom to guide me.” Reading this Julie, makes me realise how much I have lived my life from pictures of how I think it should be, in fact the whole of life being one big picture. But that picture is “out there”, separated from reality. We even have a saying “the bigger picture” to attempt to free ourselves from the individual perspective, but even that falls far short of what you are expressing. It may expand our vision laterally, but it does not allow us to feel the spherical nature of everything from deep inside us just being where we are in our bodies. This sense of being part of the All from a deep centre has no picture, it just is.

319. Julie, each time I read this, I see another layer. Today the line, ‘a love that only knows how to be itself’ resonated deeply as I can feel what is asked of us to allow our natural love out, no complications required (and any we create we can let go!). You remind me of the wealth of support I have to live this way and to deeply appreciate all the changes made which have brought this about – and most of all that it’s not about being perfect so any complications which I allow are just a way for me to go deeper with my responsibility and be even more the love I am. Thank you for writing this so supportive blog.

320. Attention to detail and self-care have both been very revealing and supportive for me too, Carmel. Spotting those tiny signs that I am carrying stress or anxiousness in my body. I chew the inside of my mouth too!

321. I always find that when I am controlling, time becomes a finite commodity that is always ‘running out’, whereas when I relinquish control and let life be, there is no race, only space!

     1. Matilda, I love this. i can feel this to be absolutely true for me too about control. I love how, when one person says the truth of how something is for them, it allows another to recognize and affirm the same truth in themselves. It is a very solid and confirming moment of our inner most selves. The utterance also brings clarity and insight. I have only had some moments so far experiencing ‘space’ and no race. When i have had those times, where i am checking the clock out of habit, I realize now that I can stop ‘panicking’ and just go with the flow of what I have felt to do and know it will be done as it needs to be. I am amazed at the seeming ‘expansion ‘ of time.

322. ‘…there is no focus on my quality of be-ing whatsoever and I have taken myself away from feeling my body’ sometimes we can feel like we are achieving so much but at what cost?

323. Julie, your blog is filled with gems – lots of ‘ah’ moments for me to ponder on. Today this sentence stood out ‘Really my job is to keep my body in a constant balance and my body naturally knows how to do this if I have built a consistent steadiness within me.’ Constantly giving power first to our body by honouring it in this way is profound and beautifully simple.

324. I like the subtlety in this blog of exposing how often we let expectations from outside or within ourselves dictate us, and react with a certain mood or tension. When we get aware of this we can stay in the beauty of our presence.

325. Absolutely Abby – these simple choices can make ALL the difference to our lives!

326. So true James, I find that often my expectations fall immensely short of the magic of the unexpected or unknown. Learning to let go of what I think life should be has been one of the toughest, yet most rewarding choices I have made.

     1. I know Rowena, it is crazy how one of the simplest things to do can be one of the most challenging. Accepting we have it all, quite literally, at our finger tips without having to do anything blows the whole education system and the way we were brought up out of the water.

327. What causes us to fight our own automatic pilot that runs our body autonomously… that thing between our ears! It ‘thinks’ it can improve what is simple and only muddies the water and makes everything complicated. Self-responsibility just feels simple and has never required anything other then letting it be to unfold.

328. It is interesting how the thoughts of not wanting to do something before we have even started can cause such conflict within our bodies. I have had years of putting things off with the notion that I won’t be able to do whatever it is, only to find that when I do whatever I am avoiding, not only am I capable but it is a lot easier than I had previously imagined.

     1. Spot on Julie, we have an image of ourselves that is fed to us, that is entirely the opposite to the truth, and mostly we believe it. I too have thought myself not capable of doing many things only to realise that I can do anything I put my hand to if I give myself the space to learn what is needed to get the job done.

329. “If I don’t need to control, but breathe my own breath and stay with what is being asked of me…my body can be left to just support me, naturally so, in an order that it knows right down to the tiniest cell, without complications or tension.” This is such a different and beautiful way of being that liberates us from the shoulds of life and allows us to surrender to what we sense is true.

     1. Yes a simplicity that makes way for innate knowing and sensing to come to the fore and be trusted more and more.

330. Yes Ariane, it is our only responsibility to shine our light to the best of our ability in all that we are and do.

     1. This truth is so powerful and gives me ALL I need to know if I allow myself to feel it in full Nico. My ‘only responsibility’ is to be myself in full. Truly liberating and inspirational – a wonderful foundation to come back to every day!

331. Beautiful Julie, it all comes down to trust our bodies and its connection with the universe by which it is connected with the universal laws and Ageless Wisdom that can be all at our disposal if we choose our bodies to be our guides. So why are we trying to be in control of our lives while everything is already there, living in us and ready for us to choose to live this inner connection once again? Are we avoiding to return to a responsible way of life we all have lived before and why are we so stubbornly holding on to that? Is it because of our pride and that we are ashamed to admit to ourselves that we ‘intelligent people’ have made the choice to step away from that heavenly life?

332. Julie- such a beautyfull, confirming blog surrendering control for self responsibility, where the body has the innate wisdom for us all to read and honour and every moment.

333. They are huge. Something we engage in to not feel, to avoid responsibility and surrendering to the trust of our inner heart.

     1. Spot on Michelle and Johanna. And in this blog Julie presents how we really do have a choice in the matter – it is up to us how we want to perceive things, how we want to live the day. Essentially we have the choice of the source of energy that we can tap into – one source of energy is our natural way of being that knows how to go about things naturally so, whilst the other source of energy is one that offers anxiety and insecurity and hence a need to control everything around us. The choice is of course ours. What we don’t like is to hear that the choice lies in our hands, because then we realise the part we play in being responsible for how we experience and live our day. This is a big pill to swallow – the pill that says “I make my day what it is and I have the choice always to change this at any time”. In my own experience, I can recognise how I am often running on a default program of anxiety where it is my choice to tap into this energy as a way to get through my day. However, with this awareness, I now have a choice in the matter and know that I can choose to come back to my natural source of energy and that I don’t have to choose the anxiousness. How empowering is this to recognise such a simple thing – this does not mean it is always easy to swap energy sources when the default program has been running for so long, but this is the beginning of true change.

334. Our steadiness and loveliness when we are connected to it absolutely has the power to guide us through and be in any situation or moment life brings to us.

335. This is so true. It is no different to someone saying they don’t like the dress I am wearing when I absolutely love it and feel amazing. Do we let others dictate how we feel and/or consent to taking on their opinion or do we stay true to our own inner knowing and feeling. I prefer the latter!

336. In my mind I can come from one point to another and so on…endless. And it can look like it makes sense, but in truth it does not. I just try to control or find out how to control. By letting go of thinking, but feel my body and where I am in presence, I surrender to a bigger picture to a plan that is there for all of us to connect to and this for me feels very beholding. Better than any control I could create. It is the feeling of being connected to God and the Universe. It is like a true home.

     1. Sandra I feel in surrendering to the bigger picture we are rendering the chatter of the mind naught, which allows our connection to our own inner wisdom to flow, and I love the beholding feeling that encircles me, a true home as you say… Love it!

337. And not to forget that we are a vehicle for energy anyway – no matter what we choose. And our body reflects us which energy we did choose….good boy 😉

338. Yes Carmel, it just goes to show how we are always being called back to our natural state of harmony and grace and as soon as we reconnect to the body we can easily let go of tension. The choice is ours whether we connect or distract ourselves away from feeling what we are doing to ourselves.

     1. Yes, Sandra, it makes such a difference when we realise that anxiety is a choice not a given

339. Good point Felix, it’s easy to make the spirit the scapegoat and still not admit “that it’s a part of me that chooses not to be responsible.”

340. True Alison, “learning to trust in myself” gives us a secure foundation which cannot be shaken. We only get an illusion of safety when we think we are in control of our situation for we are really being manipulated like puppets and we are in turn manipulating and creating a self-centred scene around us and playing to an audience. Real security is to listen to the body and read the situation and be guided by this wisdom. When we do this everything flows harmoniously for all concerned and even if there appears to be a roadblock, if we were to look down from above, we would see that these repairs were necessary before we can continue our journey. With trust and surrender we allow our journey to unfold as it will.

341. Yes, it is not harmonious, to put it lightly.

342. I love that you have brought the importance of quality in here Lee. I had a bit of an epiphany with this the other day at a Woman in Livingness group in
     London. Yes, if we work with the quality we are in and do things in, then automatically there is no room for control.

343. Thank you Julie for so honestly sharing your experience – it will help many of us to increase our awareness of the affects of our choice to control or surrender. The body will tell us if we care to listen but so often we prefer to stay on our momentum to avoid having to take responsibility. Once we realize, as you did, that “it is absolutely my choice to choose to go into tension or not” then we can no longer blame anything for making us tense. We then need to look at what we are doing to cause that.

     1. This blog will certainly endure Sandra as a great support for so many on our path of return to whom we really are. I will re read often!

344. Thank you, Julie, I can really relate to the drive and hardness when we go into ‘should do’s and ‘ought do’s. It really is irresponsible to not consider the effect on our physicality by forcing it into this false way of being, when our natural state is harmonious and flowing.

345. So true James “often what we do not expect is so much greater or grander than we could ever have imagined if only we surrender and allow what is there to be there”. When we are open and flowing with life there is so much magic, inspiration and learning, yet when focus on getting a ‘perfect’ picture and controlling it all , we end up at best reducing it all to our imagination, and always missing out on recognising and appreciating the amazing gifts that life naturally offers.

     1. And wow there certainly are some amazing gifts on offer. Surrendering takes away all the pressure of life to try to be something. After all, we are returning back to love, so what can be more successful than being more love?

346. Yes Alison. That love and wisdom is always with us and always has been in our bodies. Its just that we chose to disconnect from it and forgot that it was there. To have been able to reconnect to it is probably the most precious gift we have been given this lifetime, thanks to the amazing work of Serge Benhayon and the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom.

347. There is no need to control when we surrender to the love that we are. The need to control comes from the pain that arises when we separate from our true self (Soul) and in so doing set up a desperate quest to alleviate the symptoms felt when we are love but in this moment are choosing to not connect to and express it.

     1. nikkimckee that sums it up beautifully and simply, trusting that we are part of a bigger picture releases any need to control leaving us free to surrender to the flow of life.

     2. Beautifully said Nikkimckee, surrendering in our bodies is the key that allows us to connect to the flow of the universe.

348. Julie I absolutely love what you’ve written. I’ve been so controlling my whole life and am beginning to surrender to myself so reading this is super supportive. Thank you.

349. Brilliant blog, Julie. I got to feel how disempowering and irresponsible it is to find myself in a situation and see that as the problem or whatever that is causing me to become what I am not.

350. This blog is so gorgeous! Really enjoyed reading it. It reminds me of countless examples in my own life of trying to control the situation before me with my mind (as if mind control ever did work!), rather than simply honour what I already knew was the truth in that situation as my body was telling me so, loud and clear

351. The key I feel could be judgment. Many of us have a habit of overriding our bodies and this is ‘normal’. Becoming aware of all the aspects and then, without judgment, choosing to behave differently is the key.

352. Any idea or outcome that comes to our mind is a distraction from whom and where we are and takes us somewhere that our body cannot go, hence we become anxious as we have left our body.

353. For a good part of my life I have been living like a sponge and absorbing life then trying to mold a life from there, trying to get ahead of the game. This caused much stress and body tension and the consequences were as clear as day. Learning to observe life and live it from my inner being completely changed everything. My life now appears or looks the same, but so much changed. So much to write about in this blog Julie, great reading.

354. Realising that tension is a choice is extremely liberating in that we now have the opportunity to make a different choice.

     1. This is exactly where humanity needs to go but the problem is that many do not want to take responsibility as this would mean they have to deal with their hurts and stop the blame game.

355. Thank you Julie for a blog that exposes so much of the tension that I go into when I am working on completing a task. I can very much relate to all that you have shared here. I agree with you that there is such a gorgeousness and yumminess in working from our stillness where one thing simply flows to the next rather than the constant tension that is felt when we work from control. They are miles apart and your blog has brought more awareness to the importance of committing to coming back to our connection to our body as the place in which we surrender from.

356. Hi Julie, I too am studying at the moment and if I get caught up in my thoughts of ” I don’t know” or “I will never get all this done” then I do struggle. If I simply tackle one question at a time, stay with my body, commit to completing, knowing how capable I am then the space opens up, the answers come or I know exactly were to go to find them. I can totally relate to your blog. Thank you

     1. No kidding! The thing is, if it were our last week in this life…. would we play it small or give it our all? I know I would be going for it… so why wait right?

        1. Great point Rosie!! Its like that saying
           “Live everyday as if it is your last!!” Some people think that means budgy jumping and casinos but to me it means not holding back and being all that I am.

        2. totally Sarah… I would rather take the more responsible choice too, knowing that whatever I do today will affect my tomorrow. Nothing just happens by chance but all because of how I have lived today.

        3. I agree, things happening by “chance” is just a cop out really, the perfect out. There is always a choice that leads us where we end up.

     2. Agree Sarah if we move in a way that connects us to our true quality then we do not let in these false images that we have of ourselves, like we are stupid, as there is no truth to those thoughts, we allow them in from the astral plane. It is a game we play to not take responsibility for the extraordinary intelligence we naturally are.

     3. Beautiful and True, thank you Mary- Louise.

     4. Well summed up, Kathleen. No pressure, just self love and connection.

357. “My drive is just to finish the task but I don’t like how my body is feeling while I am having this thought: my right shoulder is up, I’m even holding my breath, I feel a hardness inside and I feel that my body is using a lot of effort to achieve this because of my intention to just get the task done.” Just reading this alone Julie it’s easy to see how we can become so exhausted even while sitting sedentary performing a task. A beautiful awareness you’re offering in this sharing.

358. Imagine a leaf trying to control a tree. This is the level of absurdity we go into, attempting to steer and manipulate life. A leaf is an equal and beautiful part of the greater whole. And so when we see we too are this, why would we ever need control? Thank you for supporting me to see our natural wonder Julie.

     1. Beautiful Joseph, and Annie. It is one of the most spectacular spectacles to observe a leaf fall to the ground in front of you. If you relate this to the body and know everything is passing through us at that one moment, all the thoughts from love to the insanity of separation to all others, it makes sense to surrender to the delicateness of God’s love than to individualize those separative thoughts that keep us hard.

     2. Well put, Michael. I can feel that arrogance within me when I am controlling – I can make a decision for someone else without asking because it makes me feel safe. Not very considerate in the least!

359. Being in control of my environment in order to stay safe is something I have worked hard at. As I realise that control is an illusion, I am slowly placing myself into circumstances where I can surrender that control and still know I am safe.

     1. Or simply surrender, regardless of safety.

     2. Yes, safety is the ultimate form of creation as it brings us on the false path from the word go and from there all our choices are about safety instead of love. Safety has no love as it is about individuality and how to get the safest way through life. Safety is the opposite of trusting that we are held by an universal order and that there is more to life than the human body.

     3. Yes Gyl, how often do we hold back from going there through surrendering. We cannot stop feeling. Surrendering is a great honour to yourself, your own good will to yourself, to feel what you know and read life for the truth it is. Why hold that back?

360. What you have written about is such an interesting topic and worth much discussion. The body tells us so much when we bother to pay attention. I can relate to the tensing in my shoulders and a hardening in my voice when things are not going the way I think they should. I like the way you explain that letting go is not about giving up, but about connecting to that inner wisdom, and seeing how things unfold.

361. Love this blog Julie!!! I could relate to so much of what you have expressed especially wanting an outcome so I can feel a sense of achievement. Going into control leaves me feeling hard, small and exhausted. Surrendering and choosing to stay with my natural steadiness leaves me feeling light, flowing, vital and exquisitely beautiful.
     It was very beautiful to feel your own steadiness as I read this blog, thank you dearly Julie 🙂

     1. I find that what works best is to simply notice what is happening, whether my body is hardening or I lose my breath or my nervous system gets excited. The awareness alone already changes things and the more awareness I have the easier it is to make a choice.

        1. We see everything. It is only when we turn a blind eye to that which we don’t want to see that we get consumed by a way of living and expressing that is not true to our essence (love) and therefore cannot truly support us. The way back to the love that we are is to give ourselves permission to once again see and feel that which we have absorbed that has no place in a body of love. For in every moment we have the choice whether to be or not be love. Being aware of what we are choosing is a reflection of how much responsibility we are willing to live.

        2. I agree Christoph it works a treat to be with all that your body is responding or reacting to.

        3. Well said, Christoph. It always starts with self awareness. By bringing an awareness to our actions, life and the decisions that come with it becomes clearer.

     2. Danna, why do we put pressure on ourselves? Certainly for me it is to fit in or make up for my past choices. My journey is my own. If I take on or compare myself all I’m looking at is that outside view of a picture i must meet. I leave myself and I’m a gonna. The truth is we are under a cycle of love that supports us in every-way to evolve. No pressure is needed just a commitment and understanding that this is a fact.

     3. Yes Rik, thank you for your honest sharing. For me I know that I every time put pressure on myself when I want to avoid feeling things around me, and or to avoid the responsibility of what I have to do at that moment. It is an easy catch now, yet It is my dedication and commitment to stay with what I feel and be responsible for what I feel and act on it, and to no longer get myself get away with the ‘hiding’ which is not hiding but control. Thank you for the expose Bianca. And thank you Rik for asking this question. Who wants to share next?

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