In our world there are lots of self-help guides and books, presentations and recordings to help a person lift their self-esteem, self-worth or overall and general positivity towards life. These can be an accumulation of many so-called ‘loving’ words and affirmations that one can say once or twice, or be recalled repetitively throughout the days, months or years to come.
Affirmations can be telling ourselves things like, “You are good enough,” “You are beautiful,” “You are positive, happy, amazing, worthy, successful etc. etc.,” and even “You can do anything.”
But does telling ourselves we have all these positive, easy-going and highly desirable traits and talents really work? Does it feel real? Does it last? And do we really live it? Or are these words really just presenting to us the knowledge that if we tell ourselves repetitively that something is true about us, we will eventually believe it?
What if a true affirmation was actually something that was felt in our own bodies, already known absolutely and just simply remembered as a configuration within our every living cell: that we are already everything – that we are already enough.
Would it be possible to then use our daily words and personal appreciations to simply support and confirm this, and never to just tell ourselves what we are? There would be no need to label ourselves with words that describe who we want to be, leaving us thinking that we will reach our goals or get there someday; thinking that if we repeat affirmations many times, perhaps even sticking them to our fridge, we will one day believe it about ourselves in full.
Could it be that our number one and true affirmation is that we are love?
We don’t ever need to teach ourselves this nor try to recall it as knowledge – because we already are love, it’s just a simple fact.
With the choice to stop and to feel who we are, in our own bodies, in this very moment, is it possible that all anyone ever truly wants is to be love and to be loved? If so, there would be many places in our daily life where we would look for this love and one of the most obvious places is in the way we speak to ourselves; including what we tell ourselves about who we are, what we are good at, what we are worth, how we look, what we are capable of and, perhaps, even what our purpose in life really is.
The most common conversations we have daily – if not moment-to-moment – happen within our own heads. Our internal dialogue is where such affirmations happen, driving and striving us to be better or to achieve personal development, growth and success, but does this drive to be greater someday actually work for us and most importantly, does it feel natural, easy or truly loving?
There can be great simplicity in the relationship with ourselves and this begins with knowing who we already are, from the very inside of our own bodies, within our hearts. Our bodies know when something feels hot or cold, good or bad, and so they definitely know when words are just words and are not truly felt or lived in full – when they are not a part of our Livingness.
It is true there are many writers, presenters and courses that one could seek out to support themselves in affirming who they are, and changing how they would like to live. But a true and loving affirmation cannot just be found on a calendar page or a magnet on one’s fridge, or through words spoken at you by another.
When the love we are is simply a fact that already lives inside us, we can then live each day knowing and confirming this as our truth through the choices we make to accept ourselves in full and appreciating the wisdom we hold in our own bodies.
By Cherise Holt, Nurse, 32, Brisbane