Healing Hurts

Reading a blog by Anne Hishon ‘Feeling Vulnerable – Feeling me, I found myself totally agreeing with her words: “When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense.”

I saw that in the past when I have been emotionally hurt I would put my tail between my legs and try to ignore it by hiding from the source of the pain.

With physical hurts, surface wounds and aches, I immediately attend to them, seek some form of medical attention, be it a band-aid, antiseptic, visit to the doctor, medical practitioner, dentist or whomever the professional is that I feel is the most suitable for the required treatment.

There is no way I would just let the hurt go uncared for, as I know this would leave the ailment to fester and make me feel very unwell. So, why wouldn’t I ‘treat’ myself in the same way with my emotional hurts and reactions?

I am now realising that I can attend to them immediately, as I would a physical hurt. The treatment I’ve discovered is to lovingly support myself, very gently, and stay with what I am feeling.

What I choose may be as simple as giving myself a little space to ponder and be with me, or speak to the person with whom the hurt has come up and open up to them about how I am feeling. It could be that I seek wise counsel from a friend or professional as required.

The main point is that I don’t turn it on myself and continue to compound the hurt by adding the fuel of uncertainty, self-doubt, self-criticism, resentment and anger toward myself or the other person.

We are so worth caring for, healing all our hurts, emotional or physical. There is no separateness to how we truly benefit from treating ourselves and each other when it comes to caring for our wellbeing.

We are precious beings that deserve the utmost love and attention at every moment, in whatever way is needed.

With a forever deepening appreciation to Serge Benhayon,  his presentations and the sharing of life, love and wellbeing.

By Sandra Williamson, Brisbane Australia, Hairdresser

Further Reading:
We Are Not Our Hurts
Giving Power back to Love: Making the Choice to not be Dominated by Hurt

740 thoughts on “Healing Hurts

  1. It seems so easy to pretend our hurts aren’t there, we sometimes pretend so well we are convinced they aren’t there. But there they are, waiting to be see so they can have the light shone on them as they are dissolved.

  2. So very true Sandra, wise words, that we wouldn’t allow a physical hurt to go untreated and fester, we would tend to them. So why do we allow our emotional hurts to go untreated, they can just get bigger .when buried and left.

    1. Great point Francisco, when feeling tenseness in my body I can feel I’m holding onto a hurt, any sense or connection to spaciousness or the magic of god can start to disappear, only because I’m choosing to hold onto something lesser than the love and lightness we truly come from.

  3. One of the most powerful things that we can do is heal our hurts. When we do we discover that there is so much more to us than our hurts and that the potential we hold within us to be magnificent lives inside every single one of us and can be activated when we are not using all our energy to hold onto hurts.

  4. “We are so worth caring for…” – what a gorgeous reminder Sandra. That which we let fester, is that which we let rule us if we do not pause to take stock of the poison we have allowed ourselves to be filled with when we do not seek the source of our hurt.

  5. This is so true Sandra, observing that there is a difference in how we treat our physical hurts compared to our emotional hurts is fascinating. Yet the hurts we can’t physically see often gets neglected, which affects us in more ways than we think. If we don’t attend to them and allow healing to take place, they stay stuck in our body and worse, these undealt hurts can easily project onto others. This then perpetuates more hurts, acting like a ping pong ball effect, bouncing back and forth until we take the responsibility to heal our emotional hurts so we do not harm ourselves or others.

  6. ‘There is no way I would just let the (physical) hurt go uncared for, as I know this would leave the ailment to fester and make me feel very unwell. So, why wouldn’t I ‘treat’ myself in the same way with my emotional hurts and reactions?’ Great point Sandra.

  7. Thank you Sandra, you inspire me to express something to someone, something I was going to leave. As you say expressing how you feel with something or with someone is so important, otherwise it will be lingering there forever and might cause you to resent or dislike the person or maybe just choose to not connect with him or her any more. We all deserve to be expressed to so that we can learn and grow and heal whatever is there to be healed, however small we think it is.

  8. “With physical hurts, surface wounds and aches, I immediately attend to them, seek some form of medical attention,” This is true for me too, but in the past I definitely did not give the same level of care to the hurts that I was carrying, which in turn remaining unhealed began to rule my life. I have finally learned to treat any hurt, no matter how big or how small, whether physical or emotional, with the same level of loving care, and what a wonderful difference that has made to my life and I am often amazed at how quickly and how easily the hurts are able to heal.

  9. To be faced with our hurts is uncomfortable and there is definitely a tendency of wanting to hide them as they expose that we have not allowed ourselves to be all that we are but have reduced ourselves to something less. If we then choose shame, comparison, doubt, critique, we are just staying in that reduced state rather than, what is suggested here, bringing us back to the loving stillness, holding ourselves with understanding.

  10. Sandra, the main point you highlight, that you do not let your hurts escalate into further frustration or resentment but rather take the space to be healing with yourself first is such a great tool for us all. Compounding our hurts with more and more hurtful ways of expression and emotion are not only not the answer they really do only serve to cement further the disharmony we are already deeply feeling and to honour this in the first place for what it is makes for a great start.

  11. Our emotional hurts are what gets in between the connection with self and relationships with others, so the benefits are enormous when we heal hurts

  12. When we get hurt it is really important not to react or turn the hurt in on ourselves. ‘We are precious beings that deserve the utmost love and attention at every moment, in whatever way is needed.’ When we don’t allow the hurt to take hold, there is nowhere for the hurt to hold on to.

  13. I like how you show Sandra that paying attention to how we’re feeling and being aware of hurts when they arise doesn’t mean that we have to indulge in them but can actually just be an opportunity to learn more about ourselves and how we relate to the world and to let go of emotions that may be weighing us down or shutting us off from others.

  14. “We are precious beings that deserve the utmost love and attention at every moment, in whatever way is needed.” And that attention is our responsibility to initiate.

  15. Sandra a great reminder not to add to our existing hurts, and to allow ourselves the space not to react when someone brings up an old hurt, or does something we allow to become another hurt. When we take a moment to breathe it then gives us the space to not react, but bring whatever is needed at that moment.

  16. Our emotional hurts need tending to as much as our physical ones. I like the way you describe being willing to look at the hurt and resolve it without indulging in it.

  17. It seems the worst part about any experience we have is judging and dismissing it out of hand. Whether you consider what you feel to be good or to be bad, doesn’t matter so much as the way we chuck them away. This locks us in a prison of our own making which as you beautifully show Sandra, need not exist at all if we just learn to observe.

  18. Thank you Sandra for showing so clearly that any hurt, whether on our outer or inner self needs attention and dealing with to prevent it festering and causing further harm.

  19. Its a great analogy that sandra has used here, to deal with hurts in such a way. She is spot on, would we ignore or delay dealing with a physical injury, so its important to also deal with any emotional injury promptly too.

  20. What I noticed happens when I bury a hurt is I go into denial, pretend I wasn’t hurt as a form of protection, but this creates tension in my body and I then express in hardness and disconnection. This way of expressing hurts myself and others. But when I allowed myself to expose this and admit I was hurt and reacted, great healing can take place because through honesty and willingness to be transparent the tension dissipates from my body and I have an opportunity to learn and grow. What I realise when we hold onto our hurts and what follows is more hurts being hurled at others around us, and often to the people closest to us.

  21. Staying with what we are feeling, especially when it comes to perceived hurts, is super important. If we don’t, we go into the reaction to the hurt and that, in my experience, doesn’t feel great at all and usually involves some behaviour directed at ourselves or others or both. And it buries the issue deeper into our body only to come up again, sooner or later, with the same intensity and pain.

    1. Thank you Gabriele, it’s a great comment you have made about how staying with the hurt we feel breaks the cycle of it constantly being re-buried and reappearing.

  22. Great blog Sandra – it is quite ironic that when we are physically hurt we seek treatment to heal the issue at hand but yet neglect to be equally attentive to our emotional hurts and reactions that we more often than not do not seek support to heal. As I write this I also cannot but wonder how much the accumulation of these unresolved hurts and reactions impact on our long term physical health too.

  23. That is the right blog for me to read at this moment, Sandra. Thank you! Indeed why do I take care of of my physical wounds immediately and let emotional wounds open, unattended? The attending of an emotional wound is indeed stopping and looking and feeling into what the wound/hurts looks like what caused and then treating it, myself or by means the support of a practitioner. Thank for reminding me, bringing it to my awareness. Now to live it.

  24. Thank you Sandra for the much needed reminder to deal with our hurts, instead of burying them, which in the long term end up being a physical illness if not dealt with. So long term it does us absolutely no good what so ever to not address our hurts, and it keeps life so much more simple.

  25. Sometimes a hurt is so big we cannot treat it ourselves. Just as with big physical wounds, you would go to a doctor to get surgery. With an emotional wound you would seek help from a skilled practitioner, the one who you know is specialized in helping you heal your wound. As each practitioner has its own skills and qualities it is important to seek the right practitioner for our wound, Just as you would go to heart surgeon when you have serious heart problems and not to a lung doctor.

  26. Our physically hurts tends to heal very quickly as our body is amazing at this but our emotionally hurts can stay with us for our whole life if we do not choose to heal from them. Our physical hurts heal naturally with love and care yet our emotional hurts requires us to take responsibility for the healing process which no one can do for us. It is ultimately up to us to embrace this responsibility to heal.

  27. I observe myself to be really defensive when a big hurt is touched. Especially with regard the rejection hurt, which I “picked up” in my youth. To really let myself feel the hurt, and not go in to any form of defensiveness is my way forward, where I practice the biggest understanding of my behavior, and also not accepting unloving defensive behavior as it remains a choice to go into it or not.

  28. It is gorgeous to see and treat ourselves as precious beings who deserve the deep care and love you offer yourself. It is crazy that we would we deny ourselves this at our own detriment, when healing is only a loving choice away.

  29. Sometimes a hurt is so big we cannot treat it ourselves. Just as with big physical wounds, you would go to a doctor to get surgery. With an emotional wound you would seek help from a skilled practitioner, the one who you know is specialized in helping you heal your wound. As each practitioner has their own skills and qualities it is important to seek the right practitioner for our wounds, Just as you would go to heart surgeon when you have serious heart problems and not to a lung doctor.

  30. Hear, hear. We are indeed precious beings that deserve the utmost care and respect. Therefore not treating an emotional wound the way you describe is pure abuse and should be regarded as such. Thanks Sandra, for highlighting just another part in my life where abuse is present where love should be brought.

  31. At present I am working on how to treat myself as the most dear and precious partner I could imagine, going 1 Billion % for this relation. And this “treating our emotional wounds” thing fits beautiful in it as a new piece of the puzzle: if this precious partner would get hurt or an old hurt would appear then I would immediately stop and take care of this hurt/wound. Which I haven’t done so far. But from now on, I will. Thanks for the inspiration, Sandra.

  32. “The main point is that I don’t turn it on myself and continue to compound the hurt by adding the fuel of uncertainty, self-doubt, self-criticism, resentment and anger toward myself or the other person.” Great point Sandra, this is how we immediately react and load ourselves up even more when with understanding and being honest about how we are feeling enables us to see the hurt for what it is and to let it go.

  33. Sandra I often see myself and others hiding how we feel as if there is a right or wrong way to be, instead of accepting ourselves exactly as we are and in all that we feel. There seems to be a pressure to put on a certain face, be polite etc, but what we have ended up with is a not very real environment within human relationships and our relationship with ourselves, and a lot of human pressure cookers. Bottling up what’s really going on never works. Starting to be open with ourselves in a loving, gentle, and understanding way is a great start. I can’t help but feel that the sense of wrongness we can have about how we feel can lead to quite a rough, hard and neglectful attitude to our needs and at a time when we need our own love and care the most.

  34. From my Livingness I have felt many pains in my body and I can fully appreciate that pain is a marker of healing. As I appreciate what my body is sharing and the deeper my levels of healing have become the less physical pain I get in my body.

  35. “We are precious beings that deserve the utmost love and attention at every moment, in whatever way is needed”. How true your words Sandra. The question I ask myself is “how can I not care for this precious being in every way shape and form”.

  36. Thank you , Sandra, that is beautiful, a confirmation that we can heal our hurts by embracing our feelings, allowing them to be, accepting them , and appreciating you being you with them .. so eventually that which is not you, the hurt itself, you can let it go.. What a wonderful way of approaching life and your own choices & hurts. Very very cool, lots to work with, if we apply this wisdom into our lives.. Inspired by the works of Serge Benhayon.

  37. Healing hurts and letting go of our pains is super important. We let go all that is simply holding us back from loving or harmony – which is extremely healthy I would say. Observing in my job as a nurse this is a very needed subject to address in life on physiological and physical level.

  38. When we choose to let go and heal our hurts, we are given an opportunity to really surrender and allow space for the new to present, for their to be clarity and openness to what is next.

  39. I agree totally with what the article is saying here and also reflecting on how we are, how I am at times with physically ‘hurts’ or injuries. I have watched myself and others push through the pain and not really give myself the direct attention I need. I still see this and whether it be a sharp pain, a scratch or an ongoing aliment many of us learn to live with things in place of taking more and more care of them. This is more evident as you get older, it would seem more things go wrong while at the same time maybe they are things that haven’t been dealt with at the time and now they are literally all catching up with you. I would say there would be a link between dealing or not dealing with actual physical hurts and deeper more energetic hurts. If we took the time to care for one then possibly it would be the same for the other.

  40. Such great point Sandra which for me illustrates just how far we have descended to living in a world that only believes what we see. Yet in fact we do know and deeply sense that there is more to us than meet the eye. Bringing our attention and honesty to our emotional hurts when they arise, what lies underneath them is what will allow us to heal and let them go. As this will greatly free us to then live in a way that is far more real and truly reflective of who we in essence.

  41. As we have to learn to notice we have hurt our body physically: seeing the blood, feeling the pain etc., we also have to learn to notice when we feel hurt from experiences or what we see in our day. I noticed that when I am feeling not myself, can’t feel my lightness and joy, get reactive to others, am snacking around without feeling satisfied and start to beat myself up for everything I do whether it is good or wrong, I know I have felt hurt about something and let it in without clocking it. Nominating the right hurt is the only thing that then helps me feel myself and lightness again, the other unsupportive behaviours fade away naturally after that. It is pretty amazing.

  42. Thank you, Sandra for your reflection of what Healing our Hurts means and what it can truly offer us.. A full healing in self-integrity and relationships with all people (including ourselves).

  43. What a great analogy most of us wouldn’t walk around with a bleeding wound as it is messy, likely to get infected and we know that we will get weak and die if we keep losing blood – so why do we do that with emotional hurts which have similar consequences just we don’t always see them so clearly.

  44. It’s a great question to ponder – why we don’t treat emotional hurts with as much care as we do physical ones. When asked in this way, there is no rational explanation and yet we have come up with a saying to help us dismiss and bury the hurt even more ‘what the eye doesn’t see the heart won’t grieve’. How damaging is that!

  45. Emotional pain often hurts so much more and for so much longer than physical pain that it really doesn’t make any sense that it is not cared about in the same way.

  46. The greatest hurt is when we are not living the love and truth that we know we are. There needs to be deep understanding and patience in that, the process of this return is not instant, but the awareness of it and our willingness to take every step with love, is a step closer to being ourselves again.

  47. The choice to heal our hurts is life changing in so many ways – to honour and respect ourselves in this way deepens the relationship and connection within ourselves that always offers us a beautiful opportunity to evolve.

  48. Thanks you Sandra, for the timely reminder that we ALL are precious, every singe one of us, all of humanity carries the spark of the divine, and everyone of us can return to the full fire of love

  49. Essentially this blog is about responsibility and taking care of ourselves and others to the level of truth-full energetic responsibility. We cannot expect another to fix an issue for us without us equally making the effort to do so ourselves. We can all be honest and deeply open to ourselves and how we are feeling and this is the first dose of true loving medicine we can take. Guaranteed to support in any condition. Maybe not the symptoms but certainly the underlying cause.

  50. As with physical wounds, it’s very hygienic and liberating to feel the healing of the emotional hurts. It’s worth to offer the same importance to all of them, as their healing has a clear impact in our true welbeing

  51. It is indeed very interesting to see the difference how we act on physical and emotional hurts. Does this say anything about our relationship with life? that we give precedence over the physical in the ignorance of the energetics that we live with too and in fact are the the forerunners of the physical. We are in ignorance of a reality to life and do not to take our responsibility to that level that belongs to that way of being, in fact we are rejecting it greatly.

  52. No different to clothing or dirt that needs to be removed from a wound emotions can cover hurts. Being with my body and accepting the hurt/tension is here with me rather than crying, getting emotional, angry or judging what I feel there is space for the feeling to clear. And sharing it with another in a way that doesn’t want it to be covered in sympathy or ‘push through and ignore it’ type conversations is a great way of ‘airing out’ hurts

  53. I completely agree we are all very precious and deserve the utmost love in whatever way is need, whether it be confirmation, appreciation, rest or a kick up the backside metaphorically speaking.

  54. “We are precious beings that deserve the utmost love and attention at every moment, in whatever way is needed.” I so agree Sandra. Yet, like you I had a tendency to bury my emotional hurts, which of course returned at a later date to bite me. Nowadays I give myself the time to deeply feel the hurt, yet not wallow in them . Also to ask for support if needed – tho this has taken a long time to manifest! When we feel precious and worthy why wouldn’t we want to address everything that gets in the way of that?

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