To Observe and Not Absorb

Recently I have started to appreciate the energetic changes in myself, and how I work with people. I was reflecting on my career in health and social care and thought back to the days I used to absorb everything. I was literally a human sponge for any emotion that was flying around; the more intense, painful and heavy the emotion, the more I seemed to attract it! 

I often was in deep sympathy with my clients and would want to take away their pain; this meant I jumped in the well to save them, leaving us both stuck in the mud.

When working at hospital I would feel absolutely exhausted, drained and often sad. After work I would think of the patients I met that day, often waking up in the night worrying about something I said, or how I could have made it better for them.

This absorbing of emotions did not just happen at the hospital… I used to absorb the bus driver’s frustration, my friend’s distress, my parents’ expectations, the anguish on the news, the angst in the shopping center the list goes on… no wonder I was a nervous wreck!

As you can imagine, having all these emotions flying about the place and me acting as a sponge absorbing them left me quite confused as to who I truly was.  The boundaries of who I was and who was another would become foggy – I would be left feeling out of sorts and agitated. Sometimes I even came away with the symptoms of my patients.

All this absorbing of others’ emotions was leading to a path of illness and disease.

I could sense this and could also see this in many of my colleagues who were stressed and burnt out. Thankfully I made a stop. I knew if I continued the way I was going I would end up mentally, emotionally and physically very ill.

So what happened?

I was introduced to Universal Medicine and it was here I learnt about the Gentle Breath Meditation™. I learnt about energy and how to discern it – that is, how to still feel it, but to not let it in and affect me.

“Taking other people’s stuff on creates 80% of illness and disease in this world absorbing others people’s stuff is poison, which you cannot debase so easily to heal. By Serge Benhayon, Esoteric Teachings and Revelations A New Study for Mankind, page 486

This has been life changing and a true miracle for me. I care deeply for all those I meet and now to the best of my ability live by the principle ‘observe and not absorb’: this allows me to be a 100 million times better carer, reflecting true love and healing rather than emotionally wanting to save someone (= exhausting!).

This is of course a constant work in progress and sometimes I still find myself absorbing the energy around me, but thanks to Universal Medicine I have an array of tools I use to help get me back to me.

The Gentle Breath Meditation™ is a fantastic tool to help keep me centered, in touch with who I truly am, and focused on the present moment. This allows me to give the best to those I work with without draining myself in the process.

By Samantha England, Health and Social Care Assessor, Norfolk UK 

Further Reading:
Gentle Breath Meditation in Daily Life
The Gentle Breath Meditation™ & Discovering my Inner Self

1,351 thoughts on “To Observe and Not Absorb

  1. I could easily call myself a sponge because I was very good at absorbing people’s emotions and easily jump in to try and rescue people out of their emotional dramas or whatever they were going through. I would think about their issues and sometimes I would get so caught up in it. This, I now realise stopped me from dealing with my own stuff and also made me feel exhausted, disconnected and not myself. Now, I have more space to contemplate and reflect on my relationships with people, my day and how I feel. By not taking on other people’s stuff, I am more steady, clear and have clarity to truly support without imposing on others. These changes within me has been incredible and I too have Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine to thank for showing me how these tools for life are so practical and always accessible to every single one of us.

  2. I found the Gentle Breath meditation life changing too, I take so many breathes I’m not aware of and the technique has helped me see how easily our breathe changes in certain situations and how easily with this awareness it can be changed back to my natural way of breathing.

    1. Beautifully said Mary, you are spot on and there is nothing more supportive than love and for us to reflect who we are (love) to the rest of the world.

  3. In the past when I have taken on other people’s stuff I have ended up feeling really drained, and lethargic, and now when I listen and observe what is going on I get a much clearer picture and it is no longer clouded, and most of all I don’t feel drained or exhausted.

  4. “Taking other people’s stuff on creates 80% of illness and disease in this world”. That is huge, especially as we do that a lot. It has become almost ‘normal’ to sympathize or feel responsible for otherone’s emotions and try to solve their emotional problems. What is offered here, is a turn-around: by breathing your own breath and observe what occurs with the other, there seems to be more space to truly feel what is needed and can be of support. Often, just being and listening with loving ears.

  5. We are all affected by our own and each other’s emotions and reactions. The more we become aware of this the more responsibility we have to step out of this game for the benefit and liberation of all.

  6. I first heard Serge Benhayon present on Observe don’t Absorb in 2005 (although I am sure he has been saying it longer than that) and it still remains one of the most practical, every day, every moment learnings that I have been graced with for to truly live in this way is a great joy and liberation.

    1. Same here Nicola, to ‘Observe don’t Absorb’ is the most practical tool for life and it makes so much sense. To be able to stop and observe is a deeply loving choice as we allow ourselves a moment/space to see what is in front of us instead of jumping into a reaction.

      1. My feeling is that at some point we do not even need to exactly stop to observe, but develop a way of living that is observational. This leads to greater understanding and awareness and we are no longer at the mercy of having our strings constantly pulled!!!

  7. “…. reflecting true love and healing rather than emotionally wanting to save someone (= exhausting!).” What a powerful, transformational and truly loving approach to others instead of sympathy.

  8. Yes Samantha, a great tool to be more energetic, more full of yourself and in life becoming more aware and observant, as we are breathing less of the world in and more of our Godly selves (source: love).

  9. Our body is not just for our own. It is feeling everything around and processing a lot every moment. A choice we make to reflect heaven can be clearing lots for people; a choice to reflect man we can be burdened by many people.

  10. Like in tango, there are always two: the human being that aims to do something for others who are undergoing difficulties, and the human spirit who knows that this will have deleterious consequences to us and cheers us to go there.

  11. I love how it all comes back to our responsibility which puts us back in the place of power. I feel most people are aware of how we get affected by others’ emotions and what goes on around us, and how harmful that can be, and it’s so easy to blame what’s out there for how we feel.

  12. Countering another’s emotional distress with our own can at times seem natural and supportive, and yet perhaps we are just jumping into the same hole with another or bringing a shovel to make the hole bigger and harder to get out of?

  13. The quote by Serge Benhayon that 80% of our ills come from absorbing other people’s emotions is one to consider deeply. It makes sense that its hard to heal an emotion that wasn’t ours in the first place. It made me think about if we all learnt to observe and not absorb, how our health would radically change.

    1. Yes, when the harm of absorbing other people’s emotions is generally understood and that understanding integrated within the medical profession’s approach to healing it will be a paradigm shift that will revolutionise the healing of illness, disease and mental health.

    2. and also let’s not forget that we ourselves are often the other (ie the one expressing) so we have a responsibility to not indulge in emotions either by expressing or absorbing – same same!

  14. It is truly exhausting trying to save another and our bodies cannot but reflect this choice to jump in another man’s life or absorb all life is offering. I was like that too and was a nervous wreck myself but not admitting this truth for myself but also not knowing how to change it – I tried all kind of new age meditations that should protect me. I now know, using the Gentle Breath Meditation, we don’t need to protect ourselves, it is the other way around when we breath our own breath we open ourselves to who we are and to the world being aware of what is going on energetically and just observe and not take things on.

  15. 80% is a high percentage of illness and disease that is caused by taking on other people’s emotions! Just imagine what would happen to the rates of illness and disease if we were just to stop and consider this fact let alone find ways or tools such as the Gentle Breath Meditation to support us to observe and not absorb life.

  16. There is a real focus on the other person and their care and wellbeing when I absorb, instead of starting with me and my connection and letting everyone take care of themselves. It doesn’t mean there is a lack of care from my part, just not an emotional attachment. I can’t say enough how destructive sympathy is, I know we consider it a form of care but it’s the main reason I absorb another’s pain, emotion or distress. That doesn’t help either of us. The body really reveals what the truth is about words (like sympathy) and the energy behind them.

  17. I agree Samantha, the Gentle Breath Meditation is a fantastic tool that we continually have on tap to support and nourish us throughout life.

  18. Powerful sharing. The unfortunate reality that in today’s world many don’t yet know the fact that we absorb the emotions of others. Just having this article on the Internet is bringing the awareness of this very real fact into the minds of us all.

  19. Learning to hold steady, to just observe what’s going on around us without getting emotionally attached and/or entangled is a great support to ourselves and others. When we get emotionally wrapped up in stuff, it’s easy to lose ourselves in it and the steady reflection that we could offer to each other- the reminder that says there’s more to you than your emotions, and your emotions aren’t an intrinsic part of who you are- is wobbled. Observing and staying steady is far more loving than wading in and attempting to fix everything, hoping to make ourselves feel better. Observation doesn’t mean taking no action and not speaking up, but bringing understanding to a situation so that everyone can see their part more clearly and we can tap into that sense of knowing just what’s needed in that moment.

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