I ran out of eye cream recently and so I visited a skincare shop with the very simple intent to replenish a sample I tried before and liked.
The customer service lady, who greeted me very professionally, shared with me all the great qualities of this eye cream, especially emphasising what this product could correct, such as smoothing fine lines and reducing dark circles around the eye area.
As there was more than one eye cream there, she also introduced to me several different products, as well as supplementing products to go with the eye cream, such as an eye serum.
The more she spoke, the more uncomfortable my body felt: the simplicity that I stepped into the shop with felt clouded with a lot of information, and I was about to walk out.
And yet, instead of doing so, I expressed to her very honestly what I felt. Very simply I said, “I always feel confused when many products are being introduced to me at the same time.” She asked, “So what is it that you are looking to correct? I can then introduce a product that fits your needs.”
I replied, “To be honest, I am not looking to correct anything. I actually quite like myself (with a smile) but I have run out of eye cream, so I wanted to buy another tube. I fully understand this is the way the beauty industry expresses, but when you tell me a product can correct something about me, it feels like there is something wrong with me to begin with, but that is not true. I know it is not your fault, but that is how I feel with the way you have professionally shared the product information with me.”
The customer service lady seemed to be taken by surprise as this came out from my mouth, and to my surprise also, what was being said in honesty did not offend her, as from then on our conversation went much deeper than just the products she was selling!
She started conversing with me about my lipstick colour (which I named Violet Flame), said she really liked it and asked me where I got it and if I could recommend it.
She shared how some of the lipsticks she has used before can feel very dry on the lips, and we further chatted about how supporting ourselves in our day by drinking sufficient water, could also hydrate lips and skin. She replied in realness that this proves to be impossible presently, as in her busy job, she simply forgets to!
By this time I had come back to clarity as to what product I would purchase from this shop and no pressure from the saleslady was felt.
We were already communicating like long time friends, and she was demonstrating to me how to apply the product gently on my skin and with what quantity of product to use. She suggested using an upward movement, as the product has a firming effect, to which she added, “Not that you need it!”
I smiled, and not just from my lips, my eyes and my face, but from my heart and my whole body because there was a resounding simplicity and harmony felt within.
Connection is actually very simple. It can happen every moment in our every day, in our commitment to living what we know is true in our body and not hold back in expressing.
There is a deep joy felt when this commitment is reflected back in simple daily encounters, with the confirmation that truth is universal.
By Adele Leung, Creative director/fashion stylist, Hong Kong
Further Reading:
Magic of Knowing… We Are All One and The Same On The Inside
How We Start relationships
Communicating with, and Talking to People – No longer Calibrating my Expression
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
Wearing make-up or cosmetics to hide behind puts you in the defensive but to use cosmetics to enhance the natural beauty of all you feel is amazing.
Just staying there with her and replying in honesty, brings about such a different interaction and connection. Thankyou.
Expressing honestly from what we are feeling in our body, opens up the possibility of building a deeper connection with another.
People love connection; connection to self first supports us to connect with others.
Adele I actually get put off by attending beauty places, because of the exact reasons you have specified in this blog. I’ve come to a stage where I now go to a place and like yourself have the intention of what I want and that is it.
Just recently I had a similar experience like you and I knew what facial products needed replacing and they were trying to sell me things I did not want. If I went a head with all the products I could have walked away with probably many unnecessary products. I stayed with myself and kept saying no and, asking why did I need the products they were offering, until they realised something. That connection was it and then their service changed. I got exactly what I needed and they went to the extreme of giving me some freebies too, which I wasn’t expecting.
Staying with yourself at all times is a key to everything and everybody, as in this, it offers others the opportunity to be with themselves too.
People actually do appreciate honest conversation and truly expressing what we feel, sometimes it’s a surprise and kind of wakes people up out of the politeness and formalities that so often prevent us truly connecting to one another.
How true Melinda, quite often sales people forget thst there is a real perpson in front of them. As you say honesty brings us sll back to connection. Truly This is what we all want in our lives.
Melinda how true, people are appreciating us being honest with them and in this it gives people permission to do the same too without perfection. The more open honest conversation we have with one another, the more it affects others too, causing a ripple affect – love it…
How great to wake people up out of the politeness and formalities, and express honestly, ‘Connection is actually very simple. It can happen every moment in our every day, in our commitment to living what we know is true in our body and not hold back in expressing.’
Expressing in our absolute honesty will always brighten our day as well as those we are connecting to.
Love the way you deepened the conversation with this lady Adele. It feels like at the end you were not strangers but very known to each other. Your example shows us how much we can share and learn by just expressing the Truth from our bodies. Simple and very enriching.
It was a beautiful example of how we can deepen, and connect during our day.
Adele. Thank you for a wonderful example of how to transform a conversation so that both people can feel lifted rather than weighed down.
You can really feel with staff in retail, or anywhere for that matter, when it is a sales pitch or when it is genuine. It makes the world of difference when there is true connection, care and genuine. It’s great how you connected with this person ✨
As soon as we express what we are feeling it gives the conversation an opportunity to go deeper with another person.
If I am being shutdown and awkward with others then that’s what gets reflected back to me, likewise when I am being open and transparent the connection I share with others is a confirmation we are all truly one.
I think many people would feel like you do but not express or just think that is the way it is and therefor we keep living so much less than we are capable of. As you shown it only needs one honest person to start a different conversation to have a much deeper conversation.
Yes I agree Lieke. I know for myself that I can censor what I want to say or hold back from expressing fully at times and yet at others have beautiful interactions like the one you are sharing here. It’s interesting to note why this may be. When we are not present with ourselves, connected in mind and body, we cannot be fully present with another and this affects our connection with them.
The choice we make from when we feel amazing, complete and full as a woman is so different to the choices we make when we don’t feel enough or we don’t feel great. And I find that applies to everything – eye cream, to people we consider dating, to what we choose to eat – everything.
A shining example to the cosmetic industry that there is nothing to ‘correct’ just to nourish the inner beauty that is already there.
We have a choice to express what we feel or to hold back, when we express we offer another an opportunity to express too, and when we hold back we both miss out on what is on offer.
This was an example where truth was expressed, and the relationship went to a whole new level.
Absolutely makes everyone’s day!
Love the simplicity presented here and I totally get that when hold back what we really feel then connection cannot be there.
Which encourages us to be open and transparent with another, that then supports our connection.
Beautiful to feel the honesty in your expression and when there is honesty there is acceptance from another.
In love with the fact that when our expression is direct and instant it always supports you and the other to grow, even if they eventually resist it.
It is so true… Connection is there for us, ready to be reflected back if we simply allow ourselves to connect within
You could have walked away and gone elsewhere when confronted with superfluous information and all the ensuing complications but you chose to connect to the sales lady and turned the interaction into a deeply exchange meeting between two women who, after all, share a love of people and the will to true good.
There are so many occasions we could have walked away. But each and every one such moments can also be for connecting deeper.
It can be very obvious when we meet people in protection and only give them some of who we are, sometimes it is not so obvious because that is how we have been with everyone so we consider that normal. When you open up an let go of the protection and allow the love in and out wowzers now that is what I call a true connection.
Very beautiful Adele, I love your willingness to be open and honest with the salesperson. It is a great example of how we can connect with each other when we open our hearts and express with honesty. I find people are often very open to connect when we are open too and a true connection is not possible without openness and honesty.
The best thing about connection similar to love, is we can only express it and it’s complete. It doesn’t matter how people respond or react.
Once we are connected with ourselves it is both simple and totally natural to connect with others and from this start there is only deeper and warmer to go.
I agree with you Matilda, and this is the beauty of being open to connecting with ourselves and others, it will keep expanding and inspire people around to deepen their connection too.
True – connection to self is first and foremost and from there, everything evolves to evolve everybody.
A great reminder that when we can allow ourselves to communicate with honesty instead of hurt, connection remains a possibility. And I love that you were able to take the sales lady back out of her role and just be with you as another woman.
Roles are so boring, they just block us from being the loveliness that we are as human beings. We relate deeply when we are just a human being open and not protected with the adornment of a role.
This was a lovely example of what we can bring to our conversations, and how both people can feel lifted.
This beautifully shows how we can support each other by simply being honest and by expressing from our heart. Deep down we all want to connect and just feel at home and equal with each other.
All we have to do is let go of the barriers that get in the way of us connecting with ourselves and each other. We pile these barriers on, so it means we can take them off any time.
So true Chan. Letting more of what is not true go, to reveal who we are already. Letting the love shine.
We do support each other by being honest, and allowing ourselves to connect.
There is alot I can feel (its good to claim that), and what proportion of that do I share and express? Surprisingly little and so standards don’t get upheld to what my body knows to be the right level.
I can relate to that and honestly Simon, I can talk non-stop my whole life. Or better yet, expression would never run dry. Open your ears or not, world.
By-and-large we align to a consciousness before going to the shop owned by it. The dialogues there only confirm the consciousness. Sometimes, the conversations appear as heading towards another direction but are still owned. Yet, other times, we walk consciousness free. When this happens, there is potential space for meeting each other.
That is super precious. The moments of being completely aware of the consciousnesses and not being owned by them but rather so solidly guided by our true hearts and no matter what that comes out of our mouths is already spaciousness offered from our whole body. I love this so absolutely. Everyone gets it without needing to do anything.
The moment we simply express what we are feeling then another gets to feel who we truly are and by reflection who they too are, and how they may not be being themselves. Essentially we continually have opportunities in every interaction to either bring the light of the Soul, the love that we are or to keep things on a physical level, about trying to better ourselves, improve oursleves in some way, gain acceptance or recognition (the list goes on) – essentially keeping us seperate from the other person.
This I felt strongly yesterday when communicating with people under the umbrella of culture. There is a great deal of recognition from putting down oneself and lifting the other up, so after the conversations it felt lots of good things have been said about the other person, but it felt so empty, and yet these are people regarded as friends and loved ones. We say what is good to hear to others but as this has come from a lack of appreciation or connection with oneself, the words feel empty.
There is such a difference when words come with the depth and power of love that we are. Niceness is somethign I know all too well but it changes nothing and keeps people where they are. We are here to reflect the turth of where we are from and who we are and not to make it all about making a better life here on Earth. The more we put this as our fore the less we try to fit in and the more we see the importance we have to express the truth we know, knowing that it ultimately is not for us but for everyone to return back to the love we are all from.
The sharing of self-care with another is an inspiration that offers to them that they are worth caring for.
It sure is and something we all at times need reminding of!
I love how you did not react to the customer service lady. Its shows us that when we are aware of what we are feeling and choice to respond in a different way rather than react, magic happens and people get to feel an openness and honesty from another rather than frustration, irritability or anger.
It’s not always possible and when I feel hurt I will let it be felt, and I express it. But then the next time and the next time, after a while, the reaction would be much less or gone, and I am able to purely present.
Connecting with other people where ever we are is our nature, we don’t want to be separate and hold back on what we know is true. Our bodies are coming alive, feel joy and the simplicity and harmony that you are talking about.
Spaciousness would allow that to be simply expressed but hurts would constrict and it would be difficult to say it without a reaction.
Connection with others is quite simple when we remain open and transparent, it is when we live in protection we block others out and stop any opportunity for connecting with anyone. Living in this way is exhausting on the body.
Yes very exhausting and complicated, Anna. Denying us not only the magic of relationships with others but also the magic of our connection with ourselves and all that that opens to.
Your experiences at the cosmetic counter Adele just goes to show that a quality of connection between ourselves and another can arise at any time any place to bless us with a transparency and honesty with each other that lays solid foundations for us to learn and grow together.
The opportunity to connect to another is offered to us many times during our day, we simply need to be open to the possibility. If we make the choice to react, ignore and even close ourselves down, we may just miss out on a most enriching connection, one that may make a wonderful difference in our day and in the day of the other person. Life to me, is all about connection and building relationships.
It is such a lovely thing to do, to simply connect with someone when we are out and about, whatever the situation we are in. It is all too easy to see people who are in a sales position as only being that, whereas if we connect with them in the same way we would with someone we knew, it can open so many doors of opportunity for both people.
And the same applies to everyone we come into contact with – at the checkout, someone passing by, a visitor / colleague / friend / partner / family member etc. So many opportunities to connect more deeply than the glancing blow that is so often the experience.
Adele, I just love this post.. and I’ve been in very similar situations myself too, and what i love is that when you take it away from “the sell” and make it all about connection that the staff feel way more engaged towards you as opposed to selling something and moving on in robotic fashion. And I love the reference you make towards the exchange feeling like long lost friends which it is – the long lost friend called connection : )
It never ceases to amaze me how speaking honestly and openly about how we feel can break down even the toughest barriers at times and often creates an instant connection with the person we are communicating with. And even in the cases that it doesn’t and the other may react, the feeling within of being honest and not holding back is priceless.
A beautiful example of connecting with another and expressing your truth.
I had a very simple connection the other day, I needed to have some papers witnessed and the elderly man doing the witnessing was very shaky as he was looking through the papers, when he signed the papers I noticed how flowing his signature was and commented on it, to which he added that he was a retired bank manager and had a lot of practise over the years, the connection was beautiful, just engaging personally with him left a warmth in my body and a joy in my heart.
Adele it is a lovely reminder of how we can connect with absolutely anyone and everyone – why because we are all love and the same on the inside – the more we live this ourselves the more we give others the opportunity and space to do so rather than simply running on autopilot of getting through the day.
All over the world we have skin care counters in department stores and the energy around them is that we are not okay as we are and that we have to improve ourselves. I just love the fact that you said to the sales assistance that you were not wanting to improve anything as this brings a new perspective to her which potentially could be very healing.
It just takes one person to start the connection and generally the other person will jump straight in and join them. We want to be in connection, we want depth and honesty, we just hold back in case it’s not safe or it won’t be reciprocated. From this simple example in the blog, it shows that its worth initiating connection, as we only have time and love to lose by holding back.
You highlight so beautifully Adele, that for true connection to develop and deepen, an openness to honesty and truth is essential. And as you say, this confirms the universality of truth, of who we are and our innate connection to it.
A great reminder of what is possible when we speak the truth and how everyone in the situation can grow from it – thank you.
Absolutely Meg I agree – it really is the foundation for us to live our true potential.
When we connect with another we are then given the opportunity to not only share with honesty but also being open to the opportunity to express what we feel and see how our connection unfolds. We can deepen our understanding of the world when we express how we feel and bring simplicity to the fore.
This blog confirms (1) how usual is to find ourselves in situations where the other person delivers something to us based on the images he/she holds dear, to which we are asked to submit to and, (2) that connection is only possible if one of those in the situations is connected first to him/herself.
I love how you expressed what you felt without making the other wrong but simply stating the truth of what you felt and how in doing so it opened up a completely different space and conversation. It just shows that in fact we have a choice in each moment to stay with the script of what is there or to step outside it and connect to each other and say how we feel and see where things go from there. It opens up a whole other space.
I love the way you expressed how you felt about the ‘sales pitch’ without putting the other person down. Your way of expressing opened the door to deeper connection.
Do we look for ‘connection’ in life or are we the ones to just be it. In other words we often look outside for things to be a certain way, people, conversations, shopping experiences etc and yet when this isn’t what we get we react and walk away because of some reason. Yet connection is something we bring naturally and when you are truly connected then it holds no ideals over what should happen outside or thereafter, it will only bring more of the same. In this way no matter what the landscape or heading our dedication is to communicate all from this connection and observe life from there.
Is it not amazing how wonderful life can be if we just chat and communicate with each other? Thank you for sharing Adele.
Lovely to come back to this blog today and realise how we can turn this crazy world around by just being true.
We are confirmed by our beingness what we live : if that is living from our true origin or not. We can never escape the truth of what we live. But we can change it. By our every day choice. Day by day.
The simplicity of truly connecting allows no space for complication.
Having worked in retail for many years I have noted how robotic the communication can be at times and the true connections may be lost due to anxiety, stress of making sales, pressure from your boss to push sales etc. I never enjoyed selling because well it simply felt forced and always found it more fun to simply meet people and chat about who they are. We have the opportunity to simply be who we are and from there allow the customer to also be, this makes a huge shift in the connections made and the ease in the body is also noted as I observe many sales staff today who work with a lot of anxiety and tension which denies them the opportunity to feel the joy within their bodies and to bring themselves in full to the world which is a shame for all. Bringing honesty to our connections and how we feel, is a great step in the right direction and brings a great depth and clarity to our days too.
Connections can happen anywhere, anytime and with anyone, and always starts with us being connected with ourselves. I find people love being connected with.
How simple, to just express what is felt in the moment and it offers a different opportunity for another conversation.
I loved the wisdom you so simply shared Adele, opening up to express what I am really feeling in my body is something I am learning to do more often. “Connection is actually very simple. It can happen every moment in our every day, in our commitment to living what we know is true in our body and not hold back in expressing.”
Connecting with ourselves in full and being open has a big impact on our relationships.
I agree and how do we see or use this “big impact”? Is it a surprise or a point to always have or is it extraordinary in it’s ordinary? In other words appreciated but yet simply everyday or every moment. Connection isn’t something to do or bring it’s a matter of simply being who we truly are.
With honesty we cut through so much of the complicated chatter that often abounds in conversation. People can take it or leave it, but it stops allowing what is not supportive to continue being expressed.
“Connection is actually very simple. It can happen every moment in our every day, in our commitment to living what we know is true in our body and not hold back in expressing.” I so agree and doing this with people we meet in everyday life transforms even the briefest of relationships throughout our day.
Connecting with other people is the foundation for all our relationships and there are so many opportunities in every day – rich pickings for practise!
To not hold back who we are and to express from this connection brings a deep honesty and openness to our days and I find the more we move and express in this way the more aware we are of the world and the amazing opportunities there are to grow and learn from one another.
Sometimes it just takes a small change in the way we normally converse (autopilot almost) to open up conversations to a whole new level.
It’s beautiful when we can pull ourselves and each other out of just ‘doing our job’ and getting on with things over and above making life about people first.
True connection with another brings immense joy and deep appreciation for what we each bring to the mosaic of daily life.
Yes it is so easy to just go autopilot when we are outside in the world be at work or shopping and then the conversations with people we meet can become very flat, robotic like. It is beautiful to bring change to this by really seeing each person I have before me and connecting with them, if I don’t it becomes very exhausting to be at work or out and about.
Amazing.. to feel the magic that happens between us when we let ourselves be open, honest and transparent with how we are feeling. This situation could have gone a very different way had you chosen to shut down and walk out the shop door. Thank you Adele.
There is no interaction that is too small to have an impact and I am spotting those moments of opportunities missed to actually connect to a fellow human being. This feels great because it is with awareness that I can then change.
It’s beautiful to see how easy it is in fact to connect with people. Sometimes we use to function in a mechanical way that seems to work for us to ride out the situations of the day and life, but when we break that functionality and go beyond that, we find that it’s easy to connect with each other, as we all have so much in common. Just by opening our heart and allow its expression the encounter is possible, as you share here Adele.
We have a responsibility to express our inner-most truth and to forever hold another in the Love we are.
Connection brings out beauty in all.
Connection is simple and yet has the power to dispel anything that is not of truth, it does not require any doing simply our ability to hold such quality in all our movements.
It is only because of the illusion of a separated life we have chosen for that makes it possible to communicate like as been shown in this blog. That we can respond to a question from a customer in a selling mode, and in that no integrity and willingness to connect can be present, let alone to let happen that natural impulse to connect from human to human. We are completely overruling our nature and by that adding to the hurt of this disconnected way of life we all carry.
As humans, we tend to use a lot of mental energy to complicate the simple truth. The greatest gift we can give to each other, the world and back to ourselves is to learn to express in a way that is true to who we are and not play ball with the societal ‘norms’ we have set up in place of living this. Connection is the key – for when we live true to ourselves, we naturally live true to each other and the heavenly light that lives within us all. In this way we will restore the integrity of our godliness back into our everyday lives.
Indeed Liane, our bodies are actually very precise, when things become complicated we are asked to go to the mind and in that too are asked to to leave our natural connection with our body and in that anxiousness or nervous tension will emerge. As you say connection is key, and the one and foremost connection is the connection with our body first as from this place all other connections are already there. So whenever complexity is coming our way, we have to focus on our connection instead and from this connection the simplicity of the body will show us the way to go, as simple as that.
The true joy of connection with others can be really seen everywhere and the appreciation of this allows it to flow in our daily lives more and more and is very beautiful and changes our lives naturally.
Connection is natural and is happening instantly without us trying, it is what we are creating within ourselves which generates our patterns of behaviour, moods, thoughts etc which makes connection appear to be difficult and is getting in the way of what would naturally be there.
When we do build a bridge to another through our own honest expression, true communication is possible, and the experience of one world humanity reinforced again
Every person we meet throughout our day is an opportunity to truly connect with them – to express so openly from our heart is needed in a world where some have forgotten the joy in these simple yet powerful moments.
Opening up a conversation and sharing our truth with another is an offering for them to do likewise, to trust, and to express.
We bring so much more when we be loving and nurturing towards ourselves instead of going into the motion and doing of life and leaving ourselves behind.
True connection is an observation of life and the ability to respond with an open heart to all before us.
Connection is a natural flow of love when we connect to our hearts and hold another in the Love that we each are.
Truth can be a beautiful igniter of connection when it is received with an open heart.
Truth connects humanity as our heart carries all truth. We all have a heart and therefore we all know truth.
There can be connection with someone in a moment, face to face, in an email, or on the phone. Connection is about an energetic openness, and willingness.
Love this Adele. Speaking your truth to the saleswoman enabled her to be honest and then you could have a real conversation and communication, rather than ‘sales talk.’ Connecting with people on a deeper level enables this to happen.
Yes Adele, we are all living in a world were we are imbedded with ideals and beliefs, were many of us dont even know (consciously so) that we are living under false ideals and beliefs that hold no love, only restrictions.. Hence, when I came down to the works of Serge Benhayon it was by the truth spoken that I found myself opening up to my awareness again and actually Serge has helped me by his awareness to become aware of things myself again.. Being it a choice or a simple false ideal I was living that I thought once was my truth. Being more connected to my own breath, my posture, my body and my deep inner heart I now start to become much more aware of the presence, past or future that I am living.. And with the continuous support of Serge Benhayon and many more around who live in this way – I found myself more real and true everyday.
Love this, connection is very simple when we let go of our protection and share what we truly feel.
Yes Adele agreed, truth is universally known by us all. And you have brilliantly shown our expression of truth serves to arrest loveless momentums or confirm loving acts, both offering the opportunity to evolve through deepening our connection to love. Hence why there are never any losers when we express the truth from our hearts.
I love this about connection, when we are open to others, relationships can feel as old as time, in fact older than time…..the experience we have of life is altered and we feel with family where ever we go.
I have felt it to be extremely intimidating to walk into a shop selling beauty products and would immediately avoid connecting with the saleswoman but this would further complicate things as I tried to manage finding a product on my own. These days I do not hesitate in asking for help and connecting to an assistant where they are more than willing to help. I express and explain what I want and how I feel while discerning what feels true for me. When there is true connection there’s a flow and a simplicity, that I once thought would never be possible, because of the choice now to connect to myself and therefore to another.
I love the gentleness and directness in which you expressed how you felt to the sales lady Adele. It’s so awesome to have these connections with people who are not our close friends and family, and to be fair, sometimes those connections with strangers are stronger as we carry less or no baggage or expectations with them, so we feel freer to just be who we are.
To not hold back how we feel in any moment is an opportunity of loving, intimate and fun connections and that sounds pretty awesome to me. Thank you Adele.
On re reading this article today I can feel the absoluteness of maintaining connection with our bodies, and the miracles the unfold with others when we choose to do so.
There is nothing more joyful than truly connecting with another in the way you describe Adele. I love the magic of this when it happens….it simply makes my day.
The whole industry/world of sales can be quite insidious as it is about outcomes and targets and nothing about people (although the facade pretends it is about people!). It also caps true expression because many companies actually tell their employees/sales what to say to every single person to try and keep them or ‘hook’ them in. However, what you have shown here is when we do not hold back our expression and speak with another holding them in the same love we hold ourselves something changes .. it then becomes about true connection. The other day I took an item I had made back to a shop as several things that were supposed to be there were not, as I expressed this to the person I had been working with I could feel they automatically started to get defensive so I chose to be even more loving towards them holding both myself and them in an equalness and love and the person then changed, the defence went down and we sorted out what we needed to with the item. So yes I agree connection with others is everything and how we are with everyone we meet deeply matters.
In every interaction we have an opportunity to react, blame and close off or to connect and express with love and openness. I love hoe this article so simply shows the difference in daily life.
A beautiful sharing that proves that we are all connected and that we can be intimate and close with everyone and that it is the things (hurts) we hold and let stand between us that let us experience distance and strangeness.
When we start to tune into what we can feel and allow ourselves to express it, life starts to flow again. When I look and feel into where and why I hold back, there’s a comfort in it.. it has suited me to stay small, fly under the radar, to go through the motions of life, without stopping to feel and connect, so that I don’t have to fully commit to, and be in, life. But what I’m starting to feel is not only is this way of being deeply hurting my body, it’s uncomfortable to be in life like this – because life is about connection to ourselves and others. When we shut this connection down out of trying to protect ourselves by thinking that we’ll be safe if we stay in our cocoon, we miss out on life, and joy. There is so much more to life, when we drop our protection, start communicating, and being honest and open about what we can feel.
What is so beautiful Adele, is how we are offered the choice to step away from connecting and escape or to stay there, be present and connect. As you shared you had a choice, and you did choose to connect and we all can see what beautiful effect and healing this was for both of you.
This is what this world needs, more conversations like this. Simple, practical with no nonsense.
Often It seems as if people walk around keeping to themselves going about their business but truly avoiding connecting with people, however when you make the effort and offer them a real connection with another, it is really beautiful to see people light up as if remembering what they are missing.
What a wonderful way Adele, to address what is wrong with the beauty industry, all done without belittling the salespersons but instead creating a connection. Of course we never need fixed, and using cream or anything else should be out of love and care for our bodies, not to fix perceived imperfections.
An example of Universal brotherhood, connecting with somebody you have never met before.
I discovered how much I did not allowed myself to feel in any given moment and thus held back in expressing. With becoming more honest and saying yes to all that my body is communicating with me there is a deeper connection with everyone and expressing myself feels more and more natural.
What you have expressed here Adele is beautiful, inspiring and true, thank you;
“Connection is actually very simple. It can happen every moment in our every day, in our commitment to living what we know is true in our body and not hold back in expressing”.
The conversations we can strike up with total strangers can sometimes be just plain amazing.
I love day to day connections with people in the street or shop that I have not met before. We have so much to offer each other when we connect, we can literally make someones week when we engage fully interested in them. Connecting with people is got to be one of the best things we could possible ever do.
I love this Adele, that you didn’t go into playing the role of how we are supposed to behave in those interactions but you explained to her how you felt and offered a connection- person to person not sales assistant to customer. From there it created the space for a more real way of communicating to each other.
A clear example that the beauty industry is based on telling you that there is something wrong and their product will ‘fix it’. This beautiful, simple and honest connection with the sales person will change how she interacts with all other customers.
It is true the cosmetic industry comes at it’s customers from a place of having something wrong with them that needs correcting – I love the honesty in this interaction.
Honesty is such a key part of our evolution as wihtout it we can easily get caught up living in comfort delaying our return back to where we belong.
Connection doesn’t even have to be in words as just looking another in the eyes from a connection with ourselves can be a beautiful experience. It’s not about wanting the other to look back, needing that feedback or recognition but when I am connected to myself and another connects to that it is very simple and the relationship takes on another dimension that is not often the experienced norm.
Connection in service is rejuvenation in itself. Whether we buy what we want, buy something else, buy less or buy more what makes a difference is how we feel when we are buying/ having the product or service. It’s all about the connection felt with another person, the end result is the reflection of the quality it was chosen with, and connection to self and others guides the direction of the quality.
I love that you corrected the belief that all women are looking to correct a flaw in their physical appearance. Enhance beauty – yes, support skin vitality and health – absolutely. But when you feel your beauty inside, you know there is nothing to correct.
We fear the world will end by sharing how we feel, we think someone may get hurt or we may have an awkward moment to deal with. This blog confirms how powerful honesty is, and when delivered without a reaction or hook is so inviting and opens up conversation. This is the opposite of what we expect after being brought up to have polite manners. It just shows how much people want to speak honestly and do not want to be in professional autopilot when at work.
‘Correcting’ something about us that is naturally us is such a strange concept when you think about it. The ‘beauty’ industry has a lot to answer for but more so ourselves for falling for its trick. Your connection and honesty toppled all that with one fell swoop.
In truth there is never anything to ‘correct’ about us, we only need to let out the love and beauty that’s already inside – whatever our age and however we perceive ourselves to look like. If we all did this can you imagine how much money we would save on unnecessary beauty products each year; we would have no more need for an industry that constantly tells us we are not good enough.
Every interaction we have offers the opportunity to reflect intimacy and transparency.
Very true Joe, I love those moments when we can be truly intimate and transparent with others, it really takes our relationships to another level when we can allow this.
Connecting to the quality within us allows our movements to be in sync with the wonders of the universe, so in all our interactions we can focus not on the what is not but is truth in another activating the love that they are.
There cannot be connection between two people if one of them holds an image of the other one. In this case, the image holder talks to the image not to the person.
The openness of a true connection from a loving heart is one that I cannot deny. It is not a trick, but a simple connection that is easily felt unless you have chosen to completely shut down, which so many in this world have done.
This is one smile she will never forget Adele – ‘I smiled, and not just from my lips, my eyes and my face, but from my heart and my whole body because there was a resounding simplicity and harmony felt within.’ – To be sharing all that you did without any judgment and complete honesty you were both left the space to expand and deepen in that moment. That is super cool.
This very much shows how we are held by beliefs and ideals how to be and be with each other, and then how naturally we can be with each other when we drop all the musts and shoulds and allow us to simply be with each other, sharing what we know and more so actually live.
‘There is a deep joy felt when this commitment is reflected back in simple daily encounters, with the confirmation that truth is universal.’ I too love those wonderful unexpected daily encounters that confirm us in the truth of who we truly are.
Hello Adele and with respect where are we when this type of thing is a blog? I mean this is a base level care and respect for a person, a basic relationship with the person in front of you. It is written here, rightly so as if it’s some giant leap for mankind. I am not critical of the author but more exposing that this is how far we have slipped from who we are, that this can be a blog. We are treating this world as if it’s something it’s not. We are people first and so always play the person first as Adele is leading here. As I said where are we truly at when we can write a blog in almost a surprise of what can happen when you simply connect to a person in front of you. This is the power of what can happen but I offer why is it such a surprise?
Great question Ray. A world which has made disconnection and lovelessness as our common recognition does not take one day to return to Love and truth. The most natural has to be lived and shared as simply that, the most natural, that we know from the heart to be felt.
How we are with people changes based on how we are with ourselves and if we truly honour what we feel. I had an experience yesterday where I could avoid someone, or not – and I choose not too – and we had a gorgeous conversation. It shows that there is potential in everything to be expansive and loving.
How beautiful to share this with someone. It’s very common if not almost our default way of being to be a bit shallow and ‘professional’ in our interactions with people on a day to day basis and save the deeper connections with family and ‘loved ones’. But this is selling everyone short of the love that can be shared with anyone and anywhere. We all deserve to be reminded that love is our natural way of being.
Those ‘little’ interactions are true healing sessions!
An gorgeous example that we can either stay with ourselves and express those things we feel or step away and withdraw – which makes us then need other things to upfull that we had not expresse what we felt in the first place. It is up to us.
I’m sure you have left a lasting impression with the saleswomen, well done Adele
Beautiful Adele, being ourselves is enough..
I love that connection like this can happen anywhere with anyone. Not with just a partner or children or family but can be shared with all if we are willing to go there.
A great blog Adele, this really highlighted for me how connection can take out complication and bring simplicity back, when we truly connect we are able to be very honest with one another.
Connection takes away complexity and brings simplicity, so true.
Connecting with another can be done through being open in our bodies in connection with our own tenderness and delicateness within as this allows others to truly be and surrender to who they are.
It is gorgeous to feel when we truly choose to connect. It is sometimes hard to find, but we are always the ones that make the choice to connect or not.
When I cannot connect with anyone, I know I have lost the connection with myself and I have to stop. Sometimes it takes me a while to do this, but when I allow myself to deeply feel how devastating losing connection (to anyone as well as to myself) feels like, I first come back to holding myself, appreciating how deeply I care, and I will take steps to show this care to myself again and again. Connection is not a perfect done deal, it is a choice we build into a momentum. When we lose it, it is an opportunity to understand where we have allowed in attachments that we put higher than the most precious connection with ourselves. These moments of disconnection is for us to find these loopholes, and to deepen awareness, so as to understand how connection truly works.
In a world which largely does not care, I do care. I care about what feels disharmonious. I care deeply. Even if it may rock your boat, or even my boat, I care enough to not continue to perpetuate the “I don’t care” we are silently but loudly screaming at each other’s faces.
There is something very heart-warming about connecting with strangers. I am truly blessed with a job that allows me to meet hundreds of new people a day
And equally how important it is to connect more deeply with ourselves.
A lovely example of how you turned this initial interaction around and made it about connection.
Thank you Adele. A beautiful example about bothering to be real in an unreal situation and allowing the naturalness of a simple connection with another human being.
I love how simple connection can be, and how you describe it Adele as coming from living ‘from what we know is true in our body and not holding back in expression.’ When I’m connected to how I actually feel, instead of being in my head and/or in the drive or need to get something done, connecting with others is a simple joy and so easy, because I’m already connected to me. It’s an easy extension of what I’m already feeling.
I love that sentence “I smiled from my … heart”. I know what this feels like, and its irresistible when we do, and it makes me wonder why we don’t always live from / like this
The very beautiful thing about this Adele is that the shop assistant will re consider how she sells product to her future customers and re-consider the ‘need to correct’. A beautiful moment.
The beauty is the makeup of who we are and sharing that connection with all. That is the key to all connections thereafter. Thank you Adele.
‘The more she spoke, the more uncomfortable my body felt’. Such a telling line which reveals the knowing that we all have access to and are constantly alerted to by that thing we take for granted but are supported by in everything we do and everywhere we are – our body. It serves us hugely to listen to every little detail it offers us by way of feedback, alert, signal and reminder. Our very own truth bearer, which once acknowledged, affords us the opportunity and the choice to change the moment both for ourselves and for another.
As women we look to the beauty industry for products that will transform us and make us look young and beautiful again. That models advertising those same skin products in magazines are airbrushed says it all…. What illusion are we chasing externally for a true beauty that if connected to can emanate from within.
“Connection is actually very simple. It can happen every moment in our every day, in our commitment to living what we know is true in our body and not hold back in expressing”, this is so true.
It’s true Adele, the beauty industry focuses far too much on correcting what is wrong with us women when it should be 100% focused on building us up and confirming our unique qualities and potentials.
Life is about connecting with people – each moment of connection leads to the next and to a greater understanding of life.
So often we try to create amazing content to fill a conversation. However a simple heartfelt exchange of words often speaks more in volume that an intellectual conversation.
I have always felt rather put off when shop assistants are too keen and eager – now I realise why. It’s not pleasant to feel how they are driven by their sale targets and commissions and I have made that THE reason, but more so the fact that we are overriding our natural tendency as a human being to connect with one another – well before their job specification and my position as a customer.
What a beautiful sharing about how our love for ourselves and choice not to be ruled by a beauty industry that seeks for us to feel that we are ‘flawed’ and require fixing, can make all the difference to someone’s day, and the way we interact.
Most any interaction can hold a deeper quality of connection, if we let ourselves be ourselves.
These moments touch the core of our being and it’s clear a deep connection has been acknowledged and felt. It brings to life the Love we hold between us with no separation.
‘ with the confirmation that truth is universal.’ When truth is spoken it is also felt and the sales lady felt the truth in everything you said Adele, which then bought her to her truth. A very power full exchange and connection.
‘There is a deep joy felt when this commitment is reflected back in simple daily encounters, with the confirmation that truth is universal.’ Yes Adele , in the simplest and most connecting of ways.
Adele, you have so shared with us the simplicity of being able to connect with people no matter where we are or what we are doing. A simple life task like buying new eye cream, resulted in a wonderful opportunity to be open, loving and enjoy an exchange with someone who you didn’t know, but was deeply meaningful. We all have the opportunity to connect with people at any given moment, if we are just present and open to this unfolding.
Interesting point Katie, and something I recognize as an old pattern of mine. That said, as I express so much more these days, makes it so much easier to connect which builds a momentum to keep expressing what is there to be expressed.
‘ Connection is actually very simple. It can happen every moment in our every day, in our commitment to living what we know is true in our body and not hold back in expressing’. And key is not holding back!
The inner beauty is not heralded enough in our world, time for it to be brought to the fore.
“Connection is actually very simple. It can happen every moment in our every day, in our commitment to living what we know is true in our body and not hold back in expressing.” So true by being open and willing to connection allows for connection to take place this is my experience. If i remain close in myself the just pushes people away.
This is a lovely example of you being open and willing to connect, beautiful.
To say you ‘quite like yourself’ is actually sadly very rare, we are living in a society where a huge percentage of women when asked if they like themselves or how they look say no. This is so sad and has to be acknowledged as such. You are showing there is another way that it is natural to love, cherish and adore ourselves, not in any up yourselves way but in a way that is the birthright of all women which is to claim and express that undeniable beauty within.
The simplicity of connection is a very beautiful thing, for it is within us all to connect and to share constantly. The value of connection is the learning and unfoldment that can occur even in the simplest connections we have everyday with people we pass in the street or in the supermarket. Connections are around us always and it is a gift to share always.
Connection is a natural impulse within us, what is delivered in connection may bring reaction from others, but that could not stop connection–as to stop it we would be exerting the most unnatural force upon ourselves, and in connection with ourselves, it would be irresponsible to allow that.
It is deeply irresponsible to not live connection—it is like exerting an immense force to push the whole world away when its natural force is to come together, and when disconnection is reflected in the world, this is also what we are doing to ourselves within our bodies, a self-inflicted choice of abuse to ourselves and to everyone else.
Do not blame the world for a lack of connection when we have not taken the responsibility to live connection without holding back, which is not something we can force upon ourselves but rather simply allow ourselves to once again express.
When evolution is expresed with love, it will be received whether it is accepted (now) or not, our responsibility is not to hold back in expressing that. When we feel regret with anyone, it is evolution being held back in expression with people that we know.
The true purpose of speaking is to bring evolution.
We all know connection is natural, we all crave connection because it is a part of us. But we do not see it reflected in the world. What we see in the world is coldness, harshness, hardness, disrespect, abuse, misunderstanding, non-communication…and if this is what reality reflects back to us, it is a big disjunct from what we know as truth. If we do not first have a connection with ourselves, the sensitivity that we are all endowed with could easily bring us down with emotions such as being let down, disappointment, mistrust, frustration and anger in reaction to truth as well as to the world, and we also hold back the openness of our own hearts, which is what makes this hurtful.
Connection is natural, as we are all interconnected, it does not need to be worked on. When the picture of holding back is being let go more and more, connection simply shines, and the world will gradually return to its naturalness of people connecting with each other.
Thanks Adele, a beautiful example of the simplicity and ease of connection with another…
It is so refreshing to read these blogs, a piece of truth in a world that is starving for something that is relatable, consistent and loving.
These are beautiful moments of sharing ourselves with honesty, which allows the other to also share in a much deeper way, these can be magical moments.
I got on a bus a few days ago and the driver greeted everyone with a big smile and hello. This took me by surprise since it has never happened before. Normally the driver does not even look at the passengers. I sat down and many people were smiling as they continued to listen to the driver welcome everyone else onto the bus. It changed my whole journey home. That simple exchange made me feel connected to everyone on the bus.
What a difference it makes if we can express how we are feeling in the moment (we are not casting blame) and that trapped feeling (I have often had) is not there just an honest exchange between two people!
The open expression you offered the shop assistance with your honesty and depth of connection will support her to reflect the same to other customers that she meets.
I love the way you connected with the woman rather than the salesperson. She felt that and took up the invitation to then connect with you, as well as herself. Inspiring.
It is truly powerful Adele to not walk away for awkward moments when people do not connect and start to do their standard and learned way of behavior. From what we feel in those awkward moments we can bring clarity by making the connection with the essence of the person instead, instead of dismissing them because of their behavior. That would be really be an awkward thing to do.
What is connection? Great question, because it gets bandied around a lot and in many areas of life. I love the simplicity of what you then shared “Connection is actually very simple. It can happen every moment in our every day, in our commitment to living what we know is true in our body and not hold back in expressing.”
This example just demonstrates how things can often feel more awkward when we don’t express than when we do. For me, I can feel the key with this is to be expressing what feels true as openly as possibly without reaction, judgement, defence etc. It’s something that requires practise but is well worth the effort!
What I get from your blog Adele is that it really is a choice on our behalf whether we connect with another or not. You could have chosen to not connect with the sales lady and just walk out of the shop. She could have chosen to get offended by what you said to her but she didn’t. You both chose to connect and when we do connect with another there is a magic that happens which can be felt in what you describe here.
It is rare to see such honesty and it shows how much when we do express our feelings they often come loaded with emotional reactions or investments that do tend to be imposing and insight reaction in another. Yet such honesty came with none of that. It shows true communication is without emotion.
As Adele says… Connection is simple, everywhere, available for all of us at all times, so it looks like it comes down to choice… Do we choose to connect or do we choose to disconnect it looks like this goes deeper than it does appear on the surface because then these choices have profound and far-reaching effects.
It’s awful the way beauty consultants are taught that the purpose of beauty products is to correct flaws, not compliment the beauty that is already there. It really shows just how far away from the truth we live in as society, that is super super cool you spoke up.
It was great to feel how the customer service lady responded after your honesty and connection, how she dropped her ‘regular sales pitch’, which feels horrible to receive, and probably deliver, and became real and honest too.
It is easy to forget the simplicity of connection when we so easily go into conversations just from our heads, out of shyness, or to be stimulating or entertaining but this is always at the expense of true connection from our hearts.
When in connection with another, love is always there, and yet there is never any expectation of how another receives it, whether it is responded to or not or when, love simply keeps connecting, equally with everyone.
The opportunities for connecting with others are endless, and if we are willing to be open with ourselves, we can be open with others.
I agree Adele, connection feels lovely and makes such a difference, thanks for this great example in this blog,
‘Connection is actually very simple. It can happen every moment in our every day, in our commitment to living what we know is true in our body and not hold back in expressing.’
Adele, the way you wrote the blog is so clear I felt like I was standing next to you both, in the store, as your conversation unfolded. Connection was made because you didn’t walk out, connection was made because even though it surprised you, you expressed to the woman what you were feeling… the true love for yourself could be felt here within the blog and from the woman you were talking to. Connection was made because the sales lady didn’t react or become offended with what you shared, instead she stayed open and willing to be with you. It doesn’t take a lot to truly connect with any person but it is most definietly worth the effort and time.
Your way of communicating your connection with others is beautiful and inspirational Adele, I just love reading about it. So many people could hold back from saying out loud what you shared about the way in which you feel about yourself, for risk of jealousy or a simple reaction, out of sympathy for feeling the way that you do… or for a many other number of excuses or reasons really! But when you share from the tenderness and the delight that it is ‘to just be you’ there is already a connection within yourself that shines, inspires and equally out-stretches to connect lovingly with another. With their openness, they too are then able to choose for themselves to connect with you and beyond your interaction to connect more with other people that come along too. It’s healing all ’round! and beautifully simple.
I loved the gentle honesty in your conversation with the sales lady – how you were able to claim yourself and not get caught up in the ‘big sell’. Speaking the truth that is felt in the moment feels so loving and opens the doorway to real connection between people, it also offers a reflection to others that allows for more understanding. Thanks Adele for sharing.
What I get from your blog Adele and it is my experience too is that when I express honestly people are not likely to react cause they feel what is shared is a support for them to come back to themselves and the most open conversations can take place, it lightens up and unites people.
The way we use cosmetics and skincare products can be so different – one cementing a feeling of lack, of not being good enough or always needing to ‘correct’ or improve as opposed to caring for and wanting to express our innate beauty.
In one of the relationship deepening episodes with a friend, whom I found to be very loving and wise, I asked “so you know this is how I always talk with you all when we work together, in honesty and in truth, but you have never responded in the past.” His reply was, “It was not that I did not want to respond, I just did not want to know.” His reply inspired me to understand that every relationship requires deep patience and every encounter with people is a celebration—whether there is a coming together or a falling apart, because love would respect and offer the spaciousness for everyone to choose, love is a done deal. But in responsibility we choose to not delay being ourselves, and the day when we will all know love again.
I love the way this article demystifies the word ‘connection’, bringing it very practically into our every day encounters and interactions with everyone. I know that awareness of this changes my days and can only imagine what it will look like as we extend and expand our practise of it.
Speaking with honesty and sharing with the loving truth you feel from your body is the only way to express. Then our whole body opens up and feels the loving connection and so does who ever we are expressing to. Being responsible and making the choice to bring true love through your connection to others is a tribute to you Adele. As we express the truth we all evolve so don’t hold back as we all can learn from what has been shared in this blog. The Livingness that you bring to the people of Hong Kong is amazing Adele!
Adele I’ve had a few instances recently where I’ve dived into conversations with what the doing is, what needs to happen rather than first meeting and connecting with the person; these feel horrible, like I’ve missed out on the real purpose of our discussion and meeting. In these cases, when I catch them, I then have to start again spend some time talking with the person. To me this is what is most important – the connection and relationship first, even just 20 seconds instead of diving in do this for me. Why is this so important? I’ve been feeling that it shows the person is valued for who they are not what they do, the connection is there regardless of what they deliver and so the work is not done to get connection as we are already connected, instead it’s done in celebration of the relationship we have. I’ve loved reading your post as it reminds me of the purpose of connection and the joy this can bring.
Gorgeous Adele, I have really enjoyed reading this blog and can feel how lovely it is to connect with people that I meet everyday, whether it be at work, in shops, or on the street, yesterday I had a beautiful encounter, I went into a bargain shop and my son needed to go to the toilet, I asked someone working there if I could use the toilet. The man stopped what he was doing and led us to the toilet; afterwards rather than just say thank you and walk off I felt to engage with him further. In the past I would have been judgmental of how this person looked and not engaged with him, but this time was different, I did not allow any judgmental thoughts and instead held him with the same love as I would a family member or close friend and it was beautiful to connect with him, I felt the equalness and sameness with us and everyone else and felt how sad it is that in the past I have gone into judgement simply based on looks and not allowed myself to be open and the same with everyone.
“Connection is actually very simple. It can happen every moment in our every day, in our commitment to living what we know is true in our body and not hold back in expressing”.
So very true Adele, I loved how you did not hold back in expressing, offering her a true connection which she responded to; a beautiful interaction for you both.
It is beautiful to relate in this equal form of connection. It is actually very exhausting for people to speak in the robot and disconnected manner of spouting knowledge or stuff they have been told to say and it is not very pleasant to be on the receiving end. It is amazing how instantly people can be back with themselves and therefore others, when offered true connection and how joyful that is for both parties.
Love this blog Adele, so simple, relatable and true. I often do exactly what you have shared when chatting to people with exactly the same kind of response. Very often people go into some sort of auto pilot like a machine reciting whatever they have been told to say, but as soon as I personally connect with them it is as if they suddenly come into their body and then we are like two old friends connecting as you have described.
This is a solid appreciation of the power of connection, as we see it changing us from robotic auto pilots to people in relationship with each other.
I thought of this blog today Adele while I was shopping for a new jacket. I had a lovely connection with the salesman who helped me decide the colour, style and size. This was a lovely shopping experience for me as I often find it a bit difficult to find something I like. When I felt the connection and openness between myself and the salesman I was able to be open to him and we worked together to find a very nice jacket.
The deepening of connection begins with being honest to how we feel and honoring this feeling by expressing it. Bringing this connection we have with ourselves, this reflection is being offered to everyone. Connection can open up more connection instantly such as with the saleslady in this blog, it can also open up more reaction, but any reaction is only a resistance to the connection already felt within (which is awesome), but to live it or not for their own evolution is then the choice of the receiver.
Its beautiful how such a deeper connection blossoms between two people in conversation when honesty is brought into the conversation. It just takes one to do this and the whole charade or pleasantries drop away leaving a memorable exchange. Thanks Adele for sharing!
On phoning a company the other day, the customer service agent was obviously reading blurb from their given ‘script’ to use with customers. The questions were being rushed through and there was no sense of speaking with a human being at the end of the phone. On requesting the agent to slow down and communicate with me in a different way, there was an amazing shift in the quality of the connection and communication between us. At the end of our ‘chat’ he stated he felt very different and would be choosing to be aware of this with every customer he spoke with in the future, as he felt both his work day would be far more enjoyable for him and his customers.
A gorgeous example of how connection can bring a shift to anything. Even the cold calls which to most are frustrating and annoying, are in fact a moment to connect to another, equal, human being and can change that person’s day.
There is such joy to be shared in all our conversations and interactions if we are simply willing to connect with each other in this way.
There is only love and truth shared when we really connect with another and the exchange can be very beautiful. To speak so openly and honestly with another with no judgement allows the space for miracles to happen. I am sometimes amazed at what I have to say when I express in this way, and the offering that it gives to another is something they can then take away with them to do what they will with it.
Thank you Adele for the reminder that connection is very simple and it starts with the connection to how we feel. The more we connect the more we get to experience the affects of that connection, what I am learning is that in those moments there is a marked difference when I choose to go back into hiding or disconnection. When living in disconnection we know no different but the more we connect to ourselves the more settled and at ease life becomes until eventually the difference in the quality of our lives and the quality of our relationships becomes like ‘chalk and cheese’. Living in a disconnected way is simply not worth it when compared to the simplicity and lightness that living in connection can bring forth before us and in others.
Connecting with honesty is a beautiful way to share from our hearts and it is what our hearts and all hearts around the world are calling for. The simplicity of our connections is absolute joy. Thank you Adele.
I love the connection you have developed here Adele. This is inspiring as to how a true shopping experience can be. Shop assistants can just sell you stuff or you can connect and come away with a product that will truly support.
“The more she spoke, the more uncomfortable my body felt: the simplicity that I stepped into the shop with felt clouded with a lot of information, and I was about to walk out.” Firstly how beautiful to be guided by your body, the voice of truth, but equally to not allow this ill feeling to turn you away but to head straight into it and unravel its source – what an opportunity for learning and evolving when we speak honestly from our bodies – thank-you Adele.
I love this Adele because i feel how in you choosing to express your truth, you actually liberated this sales woman from the limitations of what she is expected to do and instead you gave her permission to bring herself to the situation before any sales pitch jargon.
We are connecting with people each and every day. I love how your experience of buying eye cream turned into a wonderful experience to connect with the person you were buying it off. This is a great example of being open to people, they will then respond with the same level of openness.
Connection is possible in all places – Whilst out shopping yesterday, there was a man who kept stopping and holding onto the fixtures in the shop. I went over and asked if he was ok and stopped and chatted with him for a short while as he talked to me about his lung problems. He kept smiling saying how he appreciated someone coming over to ‘speak and connect’ (his words!) with him and he felt he would be okay to continue his shopping and then drive home.
Expressing honestly how you felt, just gorgeous. But why should this be so unusual? In the UK I was brought up to hide how I felt, in order to be ‘nice, polite and kind’. Where has this got me and us as a society? Hidden frustrations and resentment that result in outright rage or passive aggression. Just being true to how we feel isn’t so hard once we clear the old imprints out of the way. Then there is an opportunity for true connection, not the facade that masquerades as such.
It is very beautiful that the customer service lady responded in the way she did. Some times I find this is not always the case in that another may react but the fact I have been honest and shared how I felt is enough.
These moments are priceless and truly what humanity needs. It’s not the big gestures but the gentle and loving guidance and allowance for us to share ourselves, how we are feeling and what is going on for us in our lives, that really makes a huge difference in our day to day lives.
We all really do know how to naturally connect with others, and this is proven over and over again, in those naturally occurring moments with others that you meet and a conversation just organically starts because one or both of you are open at that moment. I recall just recently while I was browsing in a gift shop, the assistant was there on her own and the shop was empty and I started up a conversation about certain bowls that you just have to use for yourself. Initially the assistant was quite reserved but when I shared how I felt, she opened up and started telling me about her favourite bowl that she uses for breakfast and how she feels choosing that bowl for herself. It was a very lovely but simple moment that both of us enjoyed, where there was no need from the other, so we were both left to enjoy ourselves in our expression.
Connecting with people, from all walks of life and getting to know them is one of my favourite things to do. If I am in a rush and I don’t connect and just buy what I need and go off on my way I can at times feel that I missed an opportunity. I also love and appreciate those times or days where I end up in a completely different location or town even and wonder what on earth am I doing there until I meet someone and make a new connection and then it all makes sense. I had to be there, just to make that connection and to have that conversation and more often than not it is not just about what I got out of the connection but also how the other person’s life is touched because of our meeting and connection.
Thank you Adele – A great remainder of the simplicity of true connection with another begins with us being first connected through our own body to the essence within and meeting another from this. It may only be a brief connection through the eyes, a touch on an arm, but the connection is felt instantly and deeply.
I appreciate more and more the opportunity to really treasure the every day encounters in my day – sometimes as brief as a moment of eye contact – but always moments of connection that restore a sense of our ‘same-ness’ and unity.
“There is a deep joy felt when this commitment is reflected back in simple daily encounters, with the confirmation that truth is universal.”- so true Adele. I love hearing about your awesome connection with the sales woman and not holding back the truth of how you were feeling. Very inspiring.
Reflect all that we are is a responsibility, it may not change anything immediately, but as this is not about us, it is all the more crucial to clock, appreciate and confirm our amazingness at all moments as they support the deepening our self-connection to keep reflecting.
Absolutely Adele. The more I understand and appreciate that I am part of something much bigger, and that how I live and what I do really does affect how other people are, the greater responsibility I feel and know is there to be lived. The question is then: how am I in my day – am I taking responsibility for being present with myself in every moment, or am I going off into old patterns of checking out and being distracted? The awareness of this responsibility is only the beginning – putting it into practice is where the real work is, but so worth it. Living in connection with ourselves just feels a million times more amazing than when we’re not really ‘there’ – going through the motions but without really being there.
What a beautiful blessing you offered this for this sales lady. It is very inspiring that you expressed so honestly with the sales lady this offers the lady to connect with her customers on a whole new level if she chooses so.
When we truly connect with another there is no room for any comparison as we know we are all sons of God and are equal in our essence, so it is just a confirmation of what is.
Adele, I love reading this, it is very beautiful that you expressed honestly with the sales lady how you felt, so often we do not and would walk out the shop, as I have done never to return, rather than simply being honest and allowing for a deeper connection, very inspiring to read.
This is beautiful Adele. Truth in expression leading to a deep connection from which flows true activity.
I love connecting with people daily and sharing how I support my body for good health and vitality.
‘Connection’ is actually very simple’ – we do seem to have a habit of making life much more complicated than it is and for me this goes on in my head. When I meet someone, having set aside the mental chatter, there is a clarity and simplicity that supports a real and very powerful connection.
Letting others in, is really offering connection. It can be easy to walk around being closed off and hiding where there is no chance of connecting.
Love your reply, Adele, when the sales lady asked you what you wished to correct, ““To be honest, I am not looking to correct anything. I actually quite like myself (with a smile) but I have run out of eye cream, so I wanted to buy another tube.” I have a grin on my face as I type that. Great that you really claimed yourself to her, not too many of us have done that in the past. It is a shame that the beauty product industry so concentrate on what they see as our imperfections, How much better it would be if they would look more at seeing our natural beauty and look maybe to just lightly enhancing that for us with the right products. Concentrating on the imperfections (and no one is perfect anyway) tends to have us feeling less, looking for what is wrong in us, whereas we are all really perfect in our essence as we are.
“The more she spoke, the more uncomfortable my body felt: the simplicity that I stepped into the shop with felt clouded with a lot of information, and I was about to walk out.”
I can so relate to that, Adele. I have experienced that situation often in the past. Wonderful that you ‘called it out’ which resulted in such a lovely connection between the sales lady and yourself. It is a shame that staff are so trained to be in ‘sales mode’, which results in an overload of information. How much better it would be if staff were trained first to truly connect to a prospective customer, and listen to their requirements in full from the start. In your case, you merely wished to purchase a specific item. It would have been so much more simple if the sales lady had followed your wishes, and very likely, if you had both truly connected, the conversation could have expanded naturally, but not as an overload of information.
Great blog Adele. There is no true connection when we hide behind ‘being nice’ and ‘pleasing’. True connection can only come from true love and understanding
I work in a customer service role helping people to make decisions about appliances for their homes. There are often a lot of very detailed and expensive decisions that need to be made in short period of time. My role is all about connection, presence and listening. The way I am with my customers either supports them to greater clarity or adds to confusion and overwhelm. I often get thanked for bringing clarity and simplicity to the situation. i don’t see myself in sales i see my role as one of service, every connection I have with someone means something to me not just the ones who choose to buy something.
I agree, those conversations are so dull and empty. Its got to be about connection and nothing else will do.
I agree, the key to connection seems to be the willingness to be honest and to share what we really feel is going on for us, and how we see the world. I love how this also allowed the woman to see who you really are, and to open right up and to enjoy serving you from truth. What a healing for you both.
I like the honesty to a person you do not know and how touched the person was by your honesty.
I love your honesty Adele with the sales assistant, as this would give her a new way forward in her interactions with others from now on, and you reflect here the importance of speaking up when we feel what has been expressed is not actually true.
Brilliant that you were able to point our the arrogance of the beauty industry, their assumption that they are there to fix, correct, make more beautiful, rather than to enhance all that is already there.
Such a beautiful example of the connection that unfolds when we choose beyond the constraints of etiquette and niceties and voice honestly with another how we feel, the service you bought to this sales woman is huge, together you smashed through the obligatory function of the sales pitch and invited each other to go deeper, to connect and return to the source that makes us all tick – true connection.
In connection we confirm each others beauty and grace, that is so natural then. Lovely that you did stay Adele – in the shop and by your love.
I love that we can connect with anyone, anytime, anywhere. All it takes is a simple willingness to be open. And even if that person doesn’t want to chat, as is often the case in our shut-down and disconnected world, we can offer them openness just by holding that stance in our bodies. I tried it the other day with a sales assistant who just didn’t want to connect and after a while, for a brief moment she did. Yes, she withdrew again almost immediately, but for a moment it was like the sun peeping through the clouds.
Further to this, in the advertising industry there is a saying within it that there are only two motivators for purchase that advertising folk need concern themselves with – fear, and greed. Beauty products are obviously pushed from the fear perspective – fear of looking old/ugly/too fat/too thin and so on. In your sharing Adele you have helped break the consciousness that runs the marketing of all our goods and services. Well done.
So much of the advertising and marketing guff we see and hear is premised on the notion that there is something wrong with us. Your gentle offering of another perspective would have changed your sales lady’s world view forever. I guarantee she will never forget her encounter with you Adele.
What a lovely expression Adele. Overall, and in terms of the explanation you gave to the sales assistant. There’s nothing like the truth to bring things back to what’s real – what a foundation for connection!
It’s so true that when we don’t hold back but say how we’re really feeling, it opens up the potential for a real connection with someone rather than a transaction. A commitment to living what feels true in our bodies means our expression will always reflect those feelings, especially when something doesn’t feel right to us. But that’s usually the time we most avoid expressing what is true for us, so is it any wonder much of our connection with others isn’t as fulfilling as we’d truly like?
With your openness and honesty to share how you felt about yourself Adele with the shop assistant this allowed true connection to begin. Probably not a lot of woman the assistant serves who would be so open and honest about themselves like the way you were. This really inspires others to also feel safe to open up and share too. It is a blessing to reflect who you are to others without holding back because you inspire everyone you meet by doing so. Very beautiful when we allow ourselves to connect to others in this way. Thank you Adele for the love and beauty you share with us.
We all know when we are being given the sales pitch and it usually falls on deaf ears, as there is no realness or connection. I experienced this just the other day. What I love about your blog Adele was you cared enough for yourself and the other person not to settle for the empty chit chat and offered a true reflection which allowed the natural connection
Truly connecting with another is a beautiful as it opens up and expands what we can share.
What you shared in that moment is very profound – when the majority of customers come to her looking to fix and correct themselves, you presented to her that it doesn’t have to be that way.
Beautiful how you didn’t come from any position of knowledge or superiority, just simply expressed how you were feeling, in honesty and from connection – and because of this the shop assistant was allowed the opportunity to also meet you equally. We can easily feel where others relate to us from a position of arrogance or inequality, and this is a great opportunity to not allow this kind of treatment, but also to reflect on whether we ever bring in a similar kind of energy out of protection or defence.
Connection is simple, and can be our daily experience with everyone we meet. The quality of connection will vary depending on how connected we are to ourselves.
I walked past some people just now, a family who felt quite joyful in their interaction. In my connection to myself, I could not help but feel the joy. I enjoyed me feeling the joy. As I walked past, one noticed me connecting with and feeling them, even though I was not looking at them, just looking straight ahead but there must have been a look on my face. At that moment there was a sense of sharing something. I felt any wariness vanish in our passing and instead a togetherness, although no words were spoken and not even a nod. This to me describes the power and grace of connection.
I love this blog as it shows when we truly connect there is nothing that can define us as one thing or another, through connection there is no boundaries just a real knowing we are all one. In true connection we offer each other the heavens.
What shows in this blog is in just being able to express what was true for you in that moment with no judgement on the saleswoman she had the opportunity to expand herself and all because you had a connection with yourself first so being aware of whats needed next for yourself and another. Magic – thank you Adele.
I love reading this blog as I find it so uplifting as it confirms for me that if we are open and honest with another without judgment rarely do they not respond similarly. When that happens magic follows.
What an amazing truth you deliver here Adele – so much of the beauty industry is based on changing or fixing people – but for you to claim in full that you are not there to be fixed but rather use products to support you really does break the consciousness about the industry.
“To be honest I am not looking to correct myself. I actually like myself…” We are so used to feel not complete because we are not perfect and a lot of people think we have to correct something about us. What a difference it is when somebody truly loves oneself.
Many businesses teach staff strategies and even dialogue to interact with their customers, which can be supportive to a new staff entering the work. This automatic response can come across very robotic with little, if any, connection to the person.
Adele, it’s beautiful how by not holding back and sharing what you were feeling, without any attack, that you offered the other women a chance to be more aware of what she was saying and where she was coming from. This is something we can all do for one another by being willing to be open and non judgemental.
How powerful and life transforming is it to be honest? Adele you could have reacted to the shop assistant and become defensive or even aggressive and annoyed with her when you first walked in, but instead you just honestly told her how you felt and this allowed her in to see you and then a deeper connection between the two of you was felt and allowed to be there. This brought her back to the realisation that she did not have to carry on with her pretend role but could simply be herself in her job and in the moment. Alchemy at its best!
There is a different between a simple feeling or knowing from the heart and the complexity that comes from the mind.
In delivering your truth the way you did very naturally Adele, a deeper truth was offered, and taken up – beautiful!
When we are in sales mode the way the eye cream counter woman was, we tend to be much more forgiving as any negative reaction would mean losing the sale. If that then leads to a deeper connection, that is great!
There is absolute beauty in the connection between us all, all of the time but we choose not to express and meet each other in this. When we do we are allowing our natural way of interaction to come to the fore, letting go of protection and all that we put in the way.
Adele the true beauty of connection is expressed here amazingly and is a joy to feel and know. Your sharing that ” I smiled, and not just from my lips, my eyes and my face, but from my heart and my whole body because there was a resounding simplicity and harmony felt within.” this allows similar experience in my body and anyone who reads this to appreciate and know also.
Adele, loved how you choose to stay in the shop ( instead of walking out) and share so openly and honestly to the woman selling, which resulted in a gorgeous opportunity to connect. Very inspiring for me as I have always held back from expressing what I have felt in fear of hurting the other.
I had a very revealing experience recently which taught me the true meaning of connection. I realised that I was ‘trying’ to connect with people instead of focussing on my own connection. The first felt awful, and the second felt beautiful and required no trying, it was just so natural there was actually no need for words, just eye contact was enough, and I shall never forget my experience of my first true connection through eye contact and I still squirming at my experience of my ‘performance’ in trying to connect, it felt yuk.
Sandra I read your comment and thought yes I have realized the very same thing recently, and yes I agree it does feel pretty yuk, this trying to connect with others instead of focusing on my own connection, which is a very old pattern of mine. It is in the ‘ trying’ that creates all the struggle, and I can feel how automatic that has become, this seeking outside of myself for connection. Time to cut the cord to this old way of living that serves no-one.
I have also found that connection makes a huge difference in our interactions with others. Without it, I feel like I am simply going through the motions and not really felt or understood by the other person and visa versa. I’m going through the process of buying a car at the moment and have been putting in the effort to try and connect with the sales people involved where as a few years ago I would have held back and kept my distance. It’s been an interesting experience as some have listened and respected what I was saying while others have just continued on with their sales patter. I can’t answer for the sales people themselves, but I do believe that what I have offered them has been a different experience from what they often get with customers also. Connection is gold!
In the drive to make money many businesses have tried to perfect the science of connection and co-opt it as a sales maker. But for the most part, even if they increase their profits they fail at teaching their staff how to connect in the true sense. For a true connection is not based on achieving an outcome and is completely unattached to the result of the connection. The connection is reward enough.
Totally agree – as a salesperson one can be overloaded with sales pitches and the pressure to sell (even in the self care industry!) is massive! By being so real and honest with her you really connected to HER as a person and that is what life is about! You brought you which allowed or invited her to be her! What a gorgeous healing on so many levels! ❤️
We can either walk around connected to ourselves or connected to something else. Both produce movement and interaction, but one unites and the other separates.
So simple but so true Mathew and I can feel I am not able to maintain the movement that unites, as I have been in a great deal of resistance. That said, all the support is there for me to fully let go of an old way of living that just hurts my body now. Time to stop avoiding responsibility.
I had a very similar incident at the counter of a store. It was lovely to connect as women and share our stories. I believe we both felt met and supported. Which has a beautiful feeling when I apply the products to my skin every morning and night. Thank you Adele for your sharing, it brought back this lovely experience of connection.
When we stop for a moment or get jolted out of our normal ‘patter’, we get the chance to see that our true job in this world is to connect, for you and me to get together, to share naturally and know there is nothing more important we need to do. The job descriptions, titles and positions are just the detail that allows all this to happen and come through. Thank you Adele – CEO (claiming evolution officer).
Joseph you are just too cool.
Great point Joseph, that life is about relationships and connection first and the rest of it, including jobs and roles are all just details or trimmings or flavours of our one important job – to connect with each other and live together in harmony.
How you expressed how you were feeling to the sales person is truly beautiful example of how to respond to someone in away that they feel completely met as an equal without any judgment. I have gained a great insight as to how to communicate. Thank you, Adele.
“Connection is actually very simple. It can happen every moment in our every day, in our commitment to living what we know is true in our body and not hold back in expressing.” Yes Adelle, it is the simple things which are often the most powerful and profound.
We are offered the simplicity of true connections every day and your sharing Adele has shown me the beauty of truth in these connections. You have left a beautiful imprint in that shop with how you expressed and this is how we lay the foundations of brotherhood.
What a cool inspiration not to overlook the opportunities in our every days to connect to people. And that actually from the ground up we could change the way we relate to each other completely.
Yes absolutely Adele, truth is universal. I am so glad you spoke with that lady and held a space for you to express your truth – even though being bombarded with expectations. Very powerful! As you say, no need to correct. We are great as we come.
Adele I particularly love this line you shared ‘Connection is actually very simple. It can happen every moment in our every day, in our commitment to living what we know is true in our body and not hold back in expressing.’ – I have found choosing to stay connected with people brings much depth and quality to the way in which we connect, even when fewer words may be expressed the quality of what is said is amazing. It is such a simple and beautiful way to be.
Adele, finding your blog today and reading it is just magic, it gave me such a beautiful and clear understanding of what connection is and how when connection is there, all else is taken care of in that meeting with another, in whatever way is needed. The trying falls away and there is no need for any particular outcome, it becomes about connecting and in that connection we know the truth of who we all are and what we bring.
I also notice that when I don’t hold back with my expression and share how I feel, there is connection in every meeting. But it starts with me, connecting with myself and opening up to the person that is in front me. Then the whole day is one big connection.
Being committed to our divine essence or inner-most through our choice to be connected and stay connected is the crucial part of us evolving.
“To be honest, I am not looking to correct anything. I actually quite like myself (with a smile) but I have run out of eye cream, so I wanted to buy another tube. I fully understand this is the way the beauty industry expresses, but when you tell me a product can correct something about me, it feels like there is something wrong with me to begin with, but that is not true. …” – What a total expose of the false and empty force that runs this industry – it is time we all open our eyes and take responsibility for what is going on.
To allow true connection is the most beautiful thing, we can’t presume to know in advance what may arise from the meeting of two people, there is always the potential for divinity. To meet another with complete open-ness and transparency is, in truth, our natural way.
If we are honest we all do prefer simplicity over complexity and yet we seem to have created a world that is full of complexity. Perhaps this is what happens when we allow our minds to think up what our world should look like, divorced from our feelings of what would be the most supportive for us all.
It is amazing how our bodies can register a lack of connection in any relationship we have with anyone. From my experience the more I have trusted by body to feel the more I can feel energetically what is going on around me and inside me.
The beauty of connection is that you are equal which is an expression of how we are designed to be. There is no “I help you” or “You save me” of any sorts. You bring equal beauty to each other.
To walk in the world with ‘I actually quite like myself’ is to relieve a burden on us all of each other’s self-denigration, which oftentimes becomes self-abuse. Imagine walking around a super market full of people who actually enjoyed being them – not smug, not arrogant – simply enjoying being in their own skin – just to consider this, I want to be in that supermarket!
Information and knowledge without connection with ourselves and others do not benefit people in my experience, yet it is the predominant way we are with each other and ourselves. When I have made decisions based on information and knowledge that were preceded by a clear impulse and inner knowing that has been dismissed it sure comes back to bite but what if we are actually nibbling away at ourselves and each other because the let information and knowledge dominate in isolation to connection? Your story Adele highlights how important it is to trust the body in our day to day decision making, so when the tricky decisions come along the connection and relationship with the body’s wisdom is already established.
When we see ourselves as whole to begin with, that there is nothing to fix, we are standing on a firm foundation for true connection.
A beautiful reminder Adele that if we feel like we are missing connection, then it is up to us to bring connection to ourselves and through this deepening of our connection with ourselves we then naturally bring this to others. So often when we don’t feel met it is easy to shut down and pull away from people. By staying open and transparent and speaking the truth as you have here Adele it then opens us up for a level of deeper connection.
Hello Adele, we could read you blog and copy what you said to the saleslady, after all it seems like a nice thing to say. Or we could listen to the essence of what you are saying and be inspired to bring that same quality to the next relationship or meeting we have with someone or something. There is a quality you are talking about and it has nothing to do with the words used but more what is felt. Each situation is never the same and so attempting to duplicate something that has worked or something that sounds good or smart, nice etc will never truly connect without the quality of the connection first. The first place you share this quality is with yourself.
I find that to be true Ray, the expression is never the same. Sometimes it may take a very firm stance, other times it may be deeply tender.
There is a deep joy felt in some of the tiniest and simplest of connections with people or committing to the task in front. It feels wonderful when appreciating me being more than enough in every moment and I know my body lightens up and joy is innately there when open to everyone and everything.
When we connect with each other in such equal-ness and honesty there is such an opportunity for a playfulness to enter and joy to be experienced.
Indeed I can relate to becoming overwhelmed by too many options and when I come back to the simplicity of what I am feeling the clarity returns. This is not only a great reminder about what true connection involves but how when we keep it simple there is so much more space to connect with each other.
Honestly communicating like this opens the door to deeper connection with another, and in my experience this invariably happens. When our offer seems to be rebuked there is an opportunity for us not to react or take it personally, as we may have done in the past, but to stay connected to the truth and love that we are and know that the other is that too whatever else is coming from them.
Never discount what connection can do or bring. This is a fools mistake in my opinion.
This blog has reminded me of when I used to work in retail in a department store and also of being a customer many times in stores. Everything about sales or retail is geared towards ‘selling something’ whether that be with hard sell tactics or softer ones. But when we are selling something we are imposing on someone else a certain belief or premise that the product is the best or what they need. We are trying to convince or persuade. This is often done without any true connection to the customer. If we made it about connection first and then the supply and demand of something then the whole experience would be much more enjoyable and supportive for everyone.
Beautiful story here of how when we are honest about the truth we feel and don’t hold this back from another person, in the knowing that they know it too equally, then magic can happen.
The honesty you shared and expressed with the beauty advisor is awesome, as it revealed the real beauty that lies beneath the make-up.
Great expose of the myth of perfection and beauty and the many pictures we expect woman to measure up to and become. How far we have strayed from living as true women to be encouraging other women to adopt a false ideal and live other than who they naturally are.
Expressing the Truth in every given moment is deeply healing and inspiring for another who receives this and serves to deeply confirm our natural way.
Speaking truth with everyone in all situations comes from a love so deep with ourselves that this love is shared and made with everyone in life. There is no other way.
‘What is it you are trying to correct’ is a comment that anyone may ask, ‘What are you trying to change”, ‘What are your goals”, ‘What are you striving for?”…all of them seek a solution to our woes on the assumption that life is hard, a struggle if not a misery and the ideal of perfection and bettering ourselves.
To live with Love is a completeness and an acceptance – to accept where we are at and to be free of such falseness – to be absolutely content, surrendered and connected to the wisdom of the universe.
Starting on the premise that there is nothing to correct makes for a really powerful, respectful and honouring relationship with ourselves.
It is a beautiful moment when we truly connect with each other. It is an embodied feeling that is a joy. Truth is universal as you say Adele.
It feels so empty in the body and robot like when someone one is coming at you with the sales talk.
“Connection is actually very simple. It can happen every moment in our every day, in our commitment to living what we know is true in our body and not hold back in expressing.” I love what you have said here Adele. We try so hard to complicate the most simple things in life, like true expression, so we don’t have to feel our own greatness and wonder.
A beautiful example of debasing the massive manipulation and lies of the beauty industry, through a simple, honest, day to day conversation, without an ounce of resentment, anger, imposition towards the other person. How powerful we are when we express the truth our bodies feel.
What you have shared is very inspiring Adele. When we offer another our whole selves and express from truth, it opens up the opportunity to truly connect with another.
Yes, Stevie, being open to chatting honestly with others is a refreshing opportunity every time. Particularly in the beauty industry where we are so beleaguered with expectation and ideals.
Love to re-read this blog Adele, for the simplicity it offers. What is connection? Expression is connection, that is expressing from our bodies what is there to be expressed with another. I am learning, day by day not to hold back my expression, and therefore miss out on connecting.
Not holding back what feels true in the body is medicine.
I just love your reply to the shop assistant. The skin care industry tries and sells the perfect lips or skin, with anti wrinkle or making you look younger. We can fall for these claims, but really, if we are honest we know they cannot make you 5 years younger. Living a life in connection does more than any face, lip or eye cream will ever do. Connection is the ultimate body care.
We have the opportunity to connect with everyone, no matter what the circumstances, no matter how much time we have, and no matter how often we see them. In fact its not just an opportunity, but an essential part of being part of humanity so we can all share everything that we are, with everyone.
When truth is expressed every time it sets a new marker in our bodies of a deeper love lived, and in consistency, truth being the normal in our every day expression is built.
Will take these wise words into my day Adele, awesome and inspiring.
When we make it about people instead of an outcome, a product or any ‘thing’ – life becomes joy and meaningful. The decision to offer connection to the women in the shop instead of going out in frustration or ‘letting her’ was one I call true love.
I love how you expressed with this lady so honestly Adele. It simply confirms how when we are open to true connection with someone else, there is so much opportunity for both people to share how they really feel and for a much more meaningful conversation.
What a lovely confirmation to be honest. We can sometimes be so worried as to offend, but when we share in true honesty, it offers opportunities to communicate in a way which is actually natural and what we actually crave.
Re-reading this blog again – it becomes very clear for me what a huge difference your honest expression made, in the sense that this is actually what true service is all about, to live and interact together as human beings with honesty to the best of our ability. Interesting how the society is set up for us to avoid this, to the extent that even when we go to the doctor for support we don’t tell him how we feel, but simply point out the disease, which is the end product.
Those connections that we have that are so true are deeply felt by both. I love how you got to talking about how nurturing ourselves is an important part of our day and the reminder that drinking water is essential because the body can loudly let us know when it is missing this. Such a vital point to be loving and nurturing towards ourselves instead of going into the motion and doing of life and leaving ourselves behind.
Connection is everything, it is the antidote to anxiousness, exhaustion, addictions and lack of intimacy in relationships which are so very prevalent in our society today, it is simply a choice we have every single moment of our day.
What a lovely connection and blessing for you both Adele, initiated by you expressing your truth with love and tenderness.
A lovely blog, Adele, great contribution. I love this “Connection is actually very simple. It can happen every moment in our every day, in our commitment to living what we know is true in our body and not hold back in expressing.” When we are truly connected to ourselves during our day, the connection we can bring to all those we interact with during the day will be of a much more true and deeper quality than would have occurred if we were just on auto-pilot. When we are really connected deeply with ourselves, we are feeling our love, and from that, we will reflect that level of love with others, which will result in a true and loving expression in all we express with others. A beautiful way to be living and the way we can change the world, when more and more of us live this way.
How different it feels to use a skin-care product because you love and care for yourself, compared to using it to change what you don’t like. The first would feel amazing every time, the second would leave you in constant dissatisfaction and disappointment. Do we consider how we feel about ourselves before our beauty regime or do we only judge the end results?
This is so beautiful. I love that you spoke honestly and this didn’t offend her. Does this go to show that when we share from our inner hearts’ truth we offer a connection with another that has no room for taking things personally because it’s not personal and people feel this?
To me this blog is confirming what I also experience in life. That connection starts with the connection to oneself. If there’s one who’s choosing to be connected, then the other is given the opportunity to do the same. Where as if there’s neither of the 2 (or more – in a group) who are making the choice, then any talk is in fact superficial and empty of the Love / Inspiration it could otherwise contain.
When we express with love our expression connects us to the other person it then becomes their choice to be open to the level of love we express at, and as you have shared Adele we start “communicating like long time friends.”
It is really inspiring to read how you honestly said how you felt and what that brought forth. I feel I have for a long time learnt to just be nice and go with whatever is there without questioning how I am really feeling about something. Though I can feel life is so much more joyful and bright when we allow ourselves to first feel what feel about a situation and then also express this openly. As I said I feel inspired to share more of me in the world.
True connection is all about expressing our truth and never compromising one bit. How often do we say we are connecting to someone when we are holding truth back? This cannot be a true connection then.
It was my birthday recently and I felt how this day was a reflection of how connected I had felt during my year. It was awesome to be able to observe where I had allowed the connection to be felt and where I had closed myself down from feeling it. The connection is there anyway.
‘Connection is actually very simple’ – YES – it is all the stuff that we let get in the way that makes life look complicated.
At the traffic lights yesterday, the women in the car next to me looked up and we smiled and gosh it was beautiful. It brought me deep joy that brief but loving connection between ‘strangers’.
Adele, the interaction you had with the sales person allowed her to ‘expand’ how she felt, about herself and also every other woman, by offering her the possibility that we are all already exquisitely beautiful. The use of beauty products is a celebration of all that’s already there, not a need to change anything.
Adele, I love that you have shown how powerful and nurturing our interactions can be with each other when we live in connection with our true selves and meet everyone from that place. We are creating so much tension and dis-ease through resisting this simple choice.
It is rare to hear someone say that they quite like themselves or they feel wonderful and great and mean it.
The insight for me about connection is not holding back what is there to be expressed even if it might seem hard to say.
What a blessing it was Adele for you to share to the sales assistant openly and honestly that there is nothing wrong with you to start with, that you simple want a cream for your eyes to support them. This is a massive healing for her because up until this point it has only every been about correcting what is wrong. It is incredible how the fashion industry is built up on this belief always trying to counter the fact that there is something not right about us and that what ever we buy will make things different. It is certainly freeing to let go of this one. A true healing.
“Connection is actually very simple. It can happen every moment in our every day, in our commitment to living what we know is true in our body and not hold back in expressing.”
I feel I will have to put this sentence up on my wall as it is just that awesome! Thank you for reminding me how simple it is to connect to others Adele. I feel your deep connection to yourself and the way this has supported you to open your heart to others and hold them in love no matter what the circumstance. Truly inspiring.
What culminated into the moment walking into this shop and expressing what was expressed did not happen because of a plan of working it all out and rehearsing what has to be said. The truth is connection happens in such a given moment from a consistent movement lived in the whole of life, not in perfection, but always in deepening awareness and its true movement.
Finding the joy within allows there to be joy in the everyday things we do, this is ‘living the dream’. How can anything ever be mundane.
“To be honest, I am not looking to correct anything. I actually quite like myself (with a smile)” I love the simplicity of this. Sharing your truth that you didn’t need the hard sell, but from that point then were able to have connection with the sales lady, who was taken aback by your candour. Thanks for sharing Adele.
How significantly different the world would look if we were open to truly connect in every interaction made, whether it is a shop assistant, our neighbour or anyone else, not only would it be pure medicine for ourselves but the ripple effects on society is potentially huge.
I am consistently learning to deepen my expression, in particular to not ignore anything but speak honestly what I feel in each moment – the games that we have been part of and that plays out in society, need not be there, but it is up to each and every one of us to make a change by the way we express.
Thanks for sharing this beautiful encounter with the sales lady, it is a beautiful example of what connection can bring into any moment. I feel deeply inspired by what you shared. The connection with people is magical when we choose it to be so, and share our all.
This is a powerful piece I will be taking to work with me to share with my team – we work for a ‘wellbeing’ brand where it is so easy to slip into trying to ‘fix’ someone, thereby communicating to them that there is something wrong with them in the first place.
Beautiful Adele. By bringing honesty to any situation it can be totally transformative. I was on the phone the other day as a lady on the other end started giving me a spiel, talk at me. I told her that from my body, what she was saying just felt like words with no substance or connection to who I am. From this truth, she totally got it and from there our conversation expanded, it was delightful.
Being connected with oneself and therefore others is simply the greatest joy we can hold. Knowing that we have to build that connection with ourselves first, this then develops the capacity to hold and love others equally so.
So the need to buy eye cream (toothpaste, vegetables, socks…!) is simply an opportunity to interact with and connect to someone else. This for me brings much purpose and enjoyment into what I would have previously considered mundane and boring.
I felt reading this Adele that your choice to not walk out and express to the shop attendant what your were feeling actually relieved the pressure on her and the took away the image she had about how to ‘serve you’. So then it became one human being relating and sharing with another. So beautiful to feel this occur simply through the choice to express what you felt.
Life is set up in a way so that it is easy to feel the needs and wants from so many ideals and beliefs, which bring in a basic premise that we can have “something wrong with me to begin with, but that is not true.” The truth is as a fully reclaimed Son of God life becomes very simple and the demands that are normally placed at our feet to trip us up or slow down our return are seen for the lies and intrusion, so therefore become irrelevant.
By choosing to be more open and allowing myself to share my truth, I suddenly feel so much closer to people around me, which exposes how much I have been holding myself back, keeping myself separate. Meeting people with love allows an intimacy and offers an acknowledgment that we are all the same, it brings us together in a tender hug through our choice to meet another in the love that they are first.
When we meet another in the love that we all are, love is being offered and love is felt, rather than when we see a behaviour first and go into judgment, then we both end up in protection.
How wonderful Adele that you choose to open up and make a connection rather than walk away, and in doing so allowed a connection to another human being, and one that will remain imprinted forever.
Wow Adele this is so lovely and so simple thank You for sharing and inspire me even more to express. With love Nadine
You have opened it up for this woman to see others/women in a much more open and true way Adele. A true gift for both of you, as you expressed exactly how you were feeling and honoured the sales woman because you held her as equal and shared how true love is meant to share, from absolute truth, leaving neither of you less. Very inspiring.
I understand the depth of connection I am open to has a direct reflection of the depth of appreciation I have for myself and what I bring to connecting with another. If I hold back in any way I’m creating a hurt for us all and this would never be by conscious intention or choice.
This is real beauty here, not the beauty products but the connection with the two of you and the opening up and sharing of each other with each other. How this has shown you both that it is totally possible to connect with strangers on this deep level and it doesn’t mean you need to spend hours with them to do so. Being open, vulnerable and connecting to the one love that we are all from we instantly have this depth no matter what.
This is a beautiful example of what we can choose to bring to a situation should we stay open to connecting to what is truly needed. Simple and meaningful conversations are so very powerful.
This blog highlights beautifully that we are all seeking true connection with others and to be met with the love that we each are.
The interaction you describe is very exposing of the light in which we as women can tend towards harsh critique of ourselves, the notion of striving for an unobtainable perfection and modelling ourselves on false images and ideals for us to live up to and achieve. How refreshing to be at ease with ourselves and to even Love ourselves dearly, without needing to change a single aspect of who we are and to reflect this to all other women wherever we walk.
I love this Adele. The perfect example of connecting with another through expressing how you feel. She probably doesn’t get many women saying that there is nothing to correct, so what you said would have come as a surprise. A very gorgeous surprise however. She will definitely change what she says to women and most likely what she sees now as she sells her creams because of this experience.
“…I am not looking to correct anything.” This is beautiful Adele, so refreshing and claimed. I love who I am and don’t see aging as something I need to fight against. I want to support myself as I age but I have no desire to be younger than what I am and no regret for not being able to do things that I did when I was younger. I am now so much more capable in many ways than when I was younger, I have deepened my wisdom through experience and this can’t be bought or applied in a cream. Aging is something beautiful to behold when done with grace.
In truth connection is who we are.
It felt true that by being honest and expressing how we feel removes the Barrier that stops us from connecting to people. Great article thank you for sharing.
On rereading your blog this morning my first thought was what if we embraced ‘connection’ as a value above all things, more than profit and more than education’s academic results. Wouldn’t this fundamentally change the way we interact, shop, learn and do business?
For me connection also includes the choice, the willingness to be with both ourselves and the other(s) and to express whatever is there to be expressed. To me it is a choice for wonderment, a choice to be curious, a choice to be equal and a choice to be open to the beauties and wisdom other(s) hold. From this space, life is very still and precious. And I’m experiencing more and more that I can see through the facade that most people choose, because underneath all of the layers of protection and hurt is a deeply sensitive, wise and lovely being. Just like I am. Love is what is binding us, not everything (or should I say anything) else.
That feels like the only normal way to communicate and be with people Floris, how exposing what you have expressed feels so foreign in our lives today but it does not have to be.
Many of us are somewhat fearful of connecting with others, possibly because we think they might not like what they see if we really let them see us. The truth is we all feel so wonderfully seen when someone does let us see them. What an irony.
Yesterday in the crowded underground, there was chinese opera broadcasted for everyone to hear in the train from a passenger who has probably turned on the speaker on her phone without knowing. Now chinese opera is not everyone’s cup of tea in music choice, and as I looked around I saw many puzzled faces but no one said anything. So I asked out in the open, “Who is listening to chinese opera? I can hear chinese opera playing.” Instanteously many people started pointing to an elderly lady with headphones on. So I gently asked the lady, “Are you listening to chinese opera?” She immediately realized the music was not coming through to her headphones which she was wearing but was on speaker phone. “Would you like me to show you how to turn the music back to your headphones so you can enjoy it?” and that rippled into strangers talking about how to listen to music on an iphone and her sharing that the phone was a gift from her daughter, and other people on the train also joined in on the conversation.
This is beautiful and a similar experience I have had in Vietnam Mary was the first two years I went on the Universal Medicine retreat in Hoi An, I had long black hair. The third year I returned, my hair was short and platinum blonde. Not only did the shop vendors still remembered me in my name, they remembered what I had bought and not bought. I was absolutely blown away by the level of care they gave me and the connection that was there. If we appreciate and confirm the connection that we share with people each and every day, to not brush it aside even though it may feel natural, connection then becomes a much more normal phenomenon in the world.
Connection = love = to something more than just the superficial which keeps us at a distance from each other.
I loved the conversation Adele, you had with the sales woman. A simple honest conversation allowed space for true connection and amazing what is birthed from that. This we can take into our everyday lives with everyone we meet – connection.
This is a great example of what can come from speaking the truth that we feel, when we feel it. I know that I have had similar experiences to the one described here, where I did not speak up and instead walked away blaming the other person for being so rude or imposing. But the truth is that it was my responsibility to speak up for myself and say what I was feeling, simply by speaking up, not attacking the other person. Speaking the truth always offers another the opportunity to come back to truth themselves.
I have thought I was lonely, for many years, this is not how I feel now, for years I now feel very much held, part of the world and more content, I began to feel a warmth in my heart this has blossomed and I now share this with other people. Divine Connection.
I agree there is a ‘deep joy felt’ when connection is reflected in every day encounters, my experience of life has become deeply enriched through these regular, profound and simple interactions.
Connection is everything, when we don’t connect that when things are superficial and we can become overwhelmed. To be able to connect to another and be so respectfully honest as Adele you were, is because you have this connect connection with you and therefore it cannot be any less with anyone else. I love this and it is very inspirational. Connection is with everyone about anything – like even buying eye cream, or filling the petrol up at the garage station.
Adele I love the simplicity of what your shared, just like the simplicity of buying the eye cream of your choice because you simply liked it and it was supportive for you. Connection is that simple – we get real with another because we’re real with ourselves, and that opens us to a deeper level of meeting.
I love what you say here, that connection is about being real. Conversation then goes straight to the heart , and what truly matters. And what matters is what we can sense and deeply feel about everything. We have for the most part been conditioned to avoid being real.
True connection comes from truth and its honest expression, as you have shown us here, Adele. Sometimes we just speak from the mind and use recall to express but when it comes from the heart it can be truly felt.
The commitment to live connected to our essence in every moment is what makes connecting with others so easy and beautiful. I have found that when I am not living this the connecting becomes a doing or a trying and then we are in the realms of doing good, being nice and politeness. Only in a state of being and surrender is a connection true and evolutionary.
Such a great reminder Adele that when we don’t hold back and allow ourselves to say exactly what we feel we need to, and in doing so presenting it lovingly like you did it creates an opportunity to simply be who we are and not go into roles that we think we need to be. The tip toeing around not and saying what you really want to say is tiresome and you constantly feel like you haven’t been all of who you are. This emptiness leeds to other patterns and behaviours that keep us even further away from expressing out truth.
‘The more she spoke, the more uncomfortable my body felt: the simplicity that I stepped into the shop with felt clouded with a lot of information, and I was about to walk out.’ – How common is it that we suppress what we feel and continue our day with this uncomfortable feeling buried in our bodies – as opposed to the lightness and joy that unfolds when we express what we feel, plain and simple.
Connection is shared when we both understand and share truth. It is truth we have in common and when we connect with another person on this level there is a true knowing shared. This feels very real and precious, like a secret between us, yet it is not a secret it is available to everyone.
Awesome blog Adele, it is so true, connection is everything and the most unlikely responses occur when I am as open with a stranger as I am with my closest friends. It never ceases to amaze me, and to be honest, happens far more often than not…
Connection is such a great topic to discuss, we all feel connection with others in our own way and staying true to how we are with ourselves. Then allowing that truth be expressed in all we do and how we interact with others, plus how much fun we can have in that process.
It is amazing how much more simple it is when we connect to each other, conversations are so much deeper and have more value than when we try to make it about something else such as the sale of a product or trying to please someone. Thank you for sharing Adele the power of connection cannot be underestimated, there is a simplicity and a completion that would not have been there if you had decided to leave the store and as you so beautifully write….”There is a deep joy felt when this commitment is reflected back in simple daily encounters, with the confirmation that truth is universal.”
I love how an everyday interaction was a moment of truth and deepening of understanding it is a great example that every moment is an opportunity for love to lead the way.
Adele, there is so much power in staying true to what we feel, and giving another the grace to return to what is truly going on for them too. It may not be spoken, but that moment of connection is a gift thankfully received and appreciated even with strangers, if both are open to bringing love into the equation.
I have also found that sales people often think they have to offer a multitude of different products and find that very confusing and at times even overwhelming; it is great that you did not reject but engaged her fully, what a great learning about the effect we can have on others.
I have always loved the connections I make with people in passing. Yesterday I was in my local supermarket and I asked the gentleman at the counter how he was feeling. What transpired was a lovely conversation about which foods make us feel better to eat and as we discussed this and from our connection I saw a beautiful sparkle in his eyes.
Adele, in the past I have often walked out of shops when I have felt overwhelmed by the service of a sales assistant rather than expressing honestly how I felt. By choosing to stay with the uncomfortable feeling you left the shop with the joy of the connection you both shared.
Great point, Fiona. I know that feeling of a missed opportunity well and Adele’s article is a great piece of inspiration.
It was lovely to read your blog Adele as you shared with us the simplicity and joy of connection. I find I can become caught up in complication when confronted by too many choices but have not in the past handled it with the grace and respect that you offered. I now feel inspired to take the time to explain what I am feeling rather than becoming defensive and abrasive in the way I handle what feel like confrontations.
I agree that life presents endless opportunity for us to connect with others and an every moment opportunity to connect with ourselves and the all we are of.
The way you are with yourself, Adele, to be able to hold the other person in love is beautiful to see.
I love having true connection with people around me. The beauty is, there is nothing we have to do to have this connection, when we are in connection with ourselves, we bring this everywhere. Then when I meet people, I feel this instant love for them, knowing that even though we might have never met before, we come from the same place.
When we let others in and choose to see them not for their behaviours but for their unique qualities we create space to connect to the divinity we are from.
Adele honesty is what made the world go round – ahaha. I love your sharing as it showed that honesty is the best medicine so to speak. Thank you so much for not holding back to show what is possible – if we chose honesty instead of reaction.
Such a simple choice to be open and honest, to honour and share how we are feeling, allows true connection, which the world is crying out for. Very beautiful, thank you, Adele.
Another beautiful blog, Adele, thank you. Your choice to share exactly what you were feeling, so openly, created such a gorgeous connection, inviting the sales person to meet you as a woman, not just another customer and allowed her to feel the tender beauty in herself also.
Meeting people as people is what feels natural and no one deserves to be met in any way less.
Yes – connection IS very simple. We can choose it any moment of our day and it actually is what we all crave the most.
what a really gorgeous daily life example of what connection is and the magic that happens when we choose it. I love Adele how your blog is also a great reminder of the wisdom that our bodies share – constantly -, that complication does not feel good in our body and that the feeling of complication, lack of clarity can be used as a tool that, oh well, it is time to reconnect!
When we make everything we do about people and connection, life feels glorious.
‘There is a deep joy felt when this commitment is reflected back in simple daily encounters, with the confirmation that truth is universal.’ This is a beautiful statement Adele, as it’s simply true. We are universally whole and complete, what makes it feel as though we are broken is the lack of acceptance around this fact.
“To be honest, I am not looking to correct anything. I actually quite like myself (with a smile) but I have run out of eye cream,..” Love it. So simple and truthful with added love. I mean, how amazing to be able to love yourself enough to actually remind the person opposite you that you are not broken and don’t need fixing.
Awesome blog post Adele! It does not surpirse me in the least that the shop assistant connected to the truth you were sharing, for she has probably felt like she is expected to deliver the information in that way despite how she has actually felt about it. I have no doubt that moving forward she will forever remember that conversation before going into a sales pitch.
“Connection is actually very simple. It can happen every moment in our every day, in our commitment to living what we know is true in our body and not hold back in expressing.” Sometimes if not a lot of the time I do not want to connect. Why? It is what I am connecting to that determines the quality I actually feel in my body. It’s either comfort of the same thought (usually self-abuse) or an offer of evolution out of that thought and into the deeper aspect of power through me universally on how it is that my expression needs to be. The latter has a lot of Joy.
Adele you so beautifully taught this lady something and connected with her at the same time. The teaching was around the fact that we do not need to be fixed and our beauty is within and the connection was made once you were willing to express yourself with honesty and openness. You both had the chance to feel your beauty together. This is true connection. 🙂 🙂
What is connection? You didn’t need to hug the woman to feel connected or tell her your life story and hear hers. From what you’ve shared Adele, connection is more simple then that. It’s a movement of being open and honest and letting another see all of you. There doesn’t even need to be an exchange of words, we can feel connected to everyone if we are holding ourselves in a way that is in connection with and being honest with ourselves. Open up, feel what we feel and let the world in – Adele just proved it’s not that scary!
Just by saying what you felt Adele, you may have broken the spell of beauty imagery that that saleswoman was under. You offered her something very different and real and something that many customers probably feel but do not dare to say out of fear of making the merchant uncomfortable. So they stand in the discomfort of confusion instead! (I’ve done this many times). Yet, and in truth, no feeling were hurt and the discomfort dissolved with words of heart felt honesty – beautiful.
A great reminder Adele, of the simplicity of connection and how when ideals and beliefs are not in the way we can really connect with others.
Beautiful Adele, a great example of the power of connecting and expressing, and how it serves everyone.
I love your blog Adele! I find moment of true connection with colleagues, family, friends and total strangers magical, making life so very worthwhile.
A beautiful reminder here Adele that when we choose to remain connected to oursleves we can experience moments such as these with everyone we meet. This takes a commitment to the responsibility that we all have and “There is a deep joy felt when this commitment is reflected back in simple daily encounters, with the confirmation that truth is universal”.
Expressing the truth/love from your body allows a lightness and space that is recognised by the recipient who will most likely run with the opportunity to truthfully/lovingly engage, bringing about a sense of joy and connection which leaves both people en-livend and enriched.
Honouring our bodies and expressing what feels true from our bodies provides an honesty that cannot be denied – by ourselves or by another.
Thank you Adele, I love what is shared when you say, “I smiled, and not just from my lips, my eyes and my face, but from my heart and my whole body because there was a resounding simplicity and harmony felt within.”. Also that smile sounds like it was fully in your words as you talked to the sales assistant.
We can make a difference – if we hold back and wait for the world around us to change, it is like holding the world to ransom for behaviours and patterns we are all equally responsible of.
What I love about what you have shared Adele is how by staying true to what you feel and expressing this, you were not persuaded by buying things that you did not need. How many people succumb to the pressure to buy things and arrive home regretting that they fell for the marketing trick. With this you also showed the sales person how much fun and service her job actually is, all through connection and honesty.
When sales people are educated to sell their products in most cases it is about figures and not about people. Your blog Adele shows that if you connect to the person you feel what is needed, this way you are in true service providing a product that truly serves the person and not pressure them in to buying things that they do not need.
How you chose to ‘be’ with the sales person, the beautiful connection you had with each other, allowed the conversation to honour you both as women, rather than it being about the products she was selling. It shows how a lot of our interactions with each other are just scratching the surface, choosing to be totally open and honest allows a connection that brings a beautiful intimacy, the love that we are can flow freely between us, nurturing each and every particle.
Thanks Adele, what I love about this account is that you did not react to another salesperson trying to sell you something (as I have done often in the past and walked away) but simply shared what you were feeling. Super inspiring yet something we can all easily do.
What is it that we are connecting with? Ultimately we are connecting with the All and The Everything which is another way of saying God.
The willingness to express truth, no matter what the result is, connects. The holding back in communicating and expressing, always disconnect. And as you say Alexis, this connection is with the All and the Everything.
Adele, I love how your honest words to the beauty advisor created a deeper interaction and a deeper connection. After all, this is what life is about!
What strikes me in reading this again is how much pressure there is in the beauty industry to “correct” how we look, to tweak and disguise who we really are, to turn us into something we are not. I love how you were able to re-claim the clarity of your original intention despite being bombarded with this persuasive consciousness and declare your love for yourself. It is a game changer and what you offered this lady in that moment was the opportunity to love, accept and support herself too with loving choices. What it reveals to me is the consciousness behind the beauty industry that has developed all these products in order to correct the damage we do to ourselves through our un-loving choices, as opposed to producing products with the intention of nourishing and enhancing our natural beauty.
Connection is so simple when we just allow ourselves to be with someone; I’m discovering more and more that connection doesn’t come with words but from how I am feeling in my body – am I open and willing to let the other person see all of me? When I am, the connection and intimacy is so gorgeous and it leaves an imprint with us both for when we meet again.
It’s exhausting when people attempt to ‘sell’ a product – exhausting for the sales person and the customer, because in the sell, the customer’s actual need or requirement isn’t always been heard. I love that you shared honestly about how you were feeling Adele, what a blessing for the sales lady.
Ah yes, everything that can come back at us when we open what is honesty and truth is actually awesome. Congratulations you have just brought evolution. Don’t forget a big pat on the back to ourselves as we dance to the heavenly symphonic applause.
As I got off the ferry yesterday a man very casually started talking to me, his shoulder brushing next to mine, simply asking me how I am. I responded and asked how he was. There was a momentary thought of why is he talking to me, and I looked at him closer to see if he was someone I actually knew, but no I have not seen him before. He said he was feeling great as it is Friday. And I smiled while still in very close physical proximity, I said, but what is the difference? He said he didn’t have to work on the weekends and that’s the difference, and asked if I work on the weekends? I said yes I work on the weekends and my weekends are the same as my weekdays and I love working. We had all of that within the 2 minutes we were together. And of course, why would he not want to talk to me when even 2 minute conversations can be evolutionary.
I just watched a video of Japanese children greeting and hugging each other as part of their daily routine at school – some were clearly enjoying delicious hugs, others were simply going through the motions, and that’s how we are , we greet the people we know with more trust than we greet people we don’t know, but why? Aren’t we all the same? We can connect with everyone equally when we are truly connected within and don’t hold back.
I love the honesty with how you have interacted with the lady, Adele. It reminds me how important it is to stay honest with everybody I meet.
Both parties can learn when 1 of the parties speaks up. It is an opportunity to see how some of the language we have taken as normal actually puts people down or reinforces their lack of self worth without meaning to at all.
It would have been so easy to just walk out of the shop without buying anything, then the opportunity to explain why you didn’t want to buy something would have been lost.
What a difference that must have made to you once you got the product home as well, you would have had the opportunity to remember that moment every time you used that cream.
If we were to really understand that disregard only happens when we are not in connection with ourselves then we would naturally feel much more responsible and understand our actions do matter.
Losing our connection to ourselves is an enormous part of our reason for self-abuse and this is a subject we do not often talk about. Self-Abuse is a worldwide issue and needs to be dealt with on a very deep personal level.
The beauty industry is often mistaken for the “fix it” industry, and there is seemingly an assumption that we are not already beautiful, and need a product to make us so.
“There is a deep joy felt when this commitment is reflected back in simple daily encounters, with the confirmation that truth is universal.” I know this to be true because I have experienced it many times but what frustrates me is why I so easily forget to do it all the time.
I love what you have shared here Adele. I have sat at make up stalls in shops before and you can get overwhelmed and bombarded by everything that is presented to you. In my experience it is often from looking at your flaws and looking at how to best cover them up. It can feel a bit degrading. I realised I often go in looking for things to fix my faults too. I love shopping for make up with a friend because she loves to have fun with it and try on lots of things and it totally changes it. When I have gone make up shopping with her often how the sales assistants are with us totally changes, its like they bust out of their role and start having fun and trying new things too.
Reading this blog has highlighted some areas for me to revisit regarding how I prepare myself when I go shopping e.g. not losing focus of my purpose to remain connected. It is so easy to lose oneself with the myriad of distractions pulling at us from every angle. Thank you for the inspiration Adele.
This is beautiful Adele, by you expressing what you felt instead of walking out of the shop allowed her to feel the quality in you and she dropped her guard to connect with you. so beautiful.
Yes Adele, connecting and being honest about how you are feeling often pulls a person back to being themselves with you. Great sharing.
Connection is a ‘real’ game changer. It brings honesty, truth and love to everything we say and do. Unfortunately, there are so many ‘reality’ TV shows out there now but all they do is showcase a whole lot of disconnected people who sadly, feel quite empty and far removed from these quintessential qualities.
The bombardment of the body when one feels in connection to, and in the simplicity of being with love is quite overwhelming. Recognising when this happens is the great first step to pausing the overwhelm reaction.
Adele this is such a simple and beautiful reminder of the importance of connection – anywhere, anytime – no limits!
It was so interesting to feel how the sales lady ‘came alive’ after what you said Adele, it’s like you broke a spell and then all of a sudden one can feel the joy she had in expressing from who she really was rather than ‘giving the spiel’.
How beautiful that you chose not to hold back in that moment Adele, this is something we all can do, speak the truth that we feel and then things will change.
Rather than being lovingly supported, as they suggest to promote, we have been poisoned by the beauty industry. From as far back as I can remember, I remember becoming aware of all the things wrong with me according to what the TV and magazines said, and all the other girls at school felt the same, I could feel it. It is time we busted these beauty myths and reclaimed the gorgeous women we are, thank you Adele for sharing your part in this.
Adele, what beauty you brought to the lady selling you the eye cream. Such a gorgeous simplicity I’m sure she will not forget in a hurry.
Connection, with our selves first and then expressed with others, has the power to change the world.
Sometimes people can react to my candidness in saying what I see or feel but I am learning to hold steady and find the way in which I can confirm them in their experience, supporting them to feel whatever has come up for them.
In our household, I have noticed the tendency to call out from one room to another, or say something whilst doing something else, and these are the moments that always seem to cause reactions. I am now committing to speaking only when I have made eye-contact and am able to be present to the moment at hand.
Speaking up and expressing what we know to be true can be an uncomfortable moment initially, but I am finding the more I do it and just allow myself to flow with it, committing and not holding back, it seems to allow the same ease in the other. Expressing from an all-encompassing sense of the situation rather than just me and my needs, makes all the difference.
Retail sales staff are trained to speak in a certain way. It is beautiful to feel how you supported her to speak truthfully from herself and hence share a very real interaction with you.
I am constantly amazed at how willing people are to be open and share like old friends when given the chance. Connection is just a breath away and just takes one to initiate.
Adele I loved reading how, instead of walking out of the shop, you stayed. I often feel it’s the staying that tips things into connection. Today I went to a meeting where someone was incredibly angry and a little aggressive. In the past I would have sat there in judgement but I let any judgement go and just sat there seeing the beauty and also the choices the people were making. It was magical how the person began to melt and who they were began to be seen more clearly. Had I left – i.e. sat there in judgement that they were a certain way I’d never have got to see the beauty of who they are so clearly.
As long as the staying does not come with an expectation and does not abuse myself, as sometimes I stay too long and that has to be felt into and understood. Therefore no pictures to follow, but every moment to feel as to what is needed. Beauty is always there once judgment gets out of the way.
Once felt, connection became the be all and need all for me. Without connection to myself I feel empty, without it my interactions with others lack depth and feel less than their potential.
What an amazing blog Adele. These weeks I’m starting to have a totally different way of communicating to my mum. It started of with a (not so lovely) fight, but what happened since then is so beautiful. For the first time we’ve allowed both to be much more honest, vulnerable and raw. Which to me felt like if we’re actually – maybe for the first time – truly connecting. I notice that I’m much more aware now when I feel that she’s not connecting to her and how I’ve always put enormous effort in explaining myself in the hope to find reconnection. Which in fact was coming from emptiness within myself. Now noticing this, opening up towards each other makes me understand and feel her in a totally different way. Like if I finally am starting to have a mature relationship with her. Which is absolutely Gorgeous. And through this, I start to feel how dear she is to me, something that I’ve always known, but didn’t feel in the past.
The power of connection is enormous… it can melt icebergs and bring the possible to the seemingly impossible.
There is a beautiful freshness when we express honestly, gently what we are feeling and it can open up an immediate connection when there is no desire to defend, hide or pretend and this is always felt by the other person.
There is a different kind of connection you speak of here Adele when you say ‘ the simplicity that I stepped into the shop with’ which is the connection to yourself. We know innately what we need and even though advice is great if we stay connected we will know what to say no and yes to.
It just dawned on me how much appreciation is linked to expressing truth. There is no appreciation of ourselves or another if we choose to hold back truth. How could it be – it is equal to saying I don’t care enough to do it.
“Connection is actually very simple. It can happen every moment in our every day, in our commitment to living what we know is true in our body and not hold back in expressing.” Adele I loved the way you expressed openly, honestly, and how in true connection your conversation opened up. Very inspiring.
I love your blog Adele – to just state what is truly felt, and you are so right: “Connection is actually very simple. It can happen every moment in our every day, in our commitment to living what we know is true in our body and not hold back in expressing.”
There is so much for us to share with each other these simple exchanges offer all a chance to stop and evolve – no-one is better than another but unless we speak honestly about how we feel humanity stays stuck.
Adele how wonderful you brought a dash of fun to the cosmetics counter – choosing and applying make up IS fun. Taking the focus away from it being a repair or correction tool, we chose it as simply another way to express… which is naturally beautiful.
Thank you Adele, your blog says loud and clear that everyone loves to be and responds well to being connected too.
When complication is felt it is a great indication that our movements need to move towards love. This blog was a great example of this, complication was felt so a deepening of love was on offer.
Adele you inspire me to no ends with where you go to with your expression. I could feel how uncomfortable I would have felt to express as you had, but with your sharing I was able to feel the importance in sharing all that is truth and what this offer another and also offers our self. In expressing what was impulsed to express you both got to enjoy a deeper connection.
Thanks Adele, a beautiful reminder that knowing what’s true for us (which requires connection) and staying with it no matter what, is crucial to our wellbeing. Going against ourselves, as you began to in what you described has a very clear impact on the body, one we get very good at ignoring a lot of the time. What you’ve shared is key in true health and wellbeing.
“We were already communicating like long time friends”. It’s amazing how as soon as we connect with someone they feel just like us and we can relate so easily. And yet when we see them as separate it can seem hard to even get on the same page.
It’s true Adele, that “ . . .truth is universal”. When one person speaks truth it reminds another of the truth within them and then we can connect from that truth instead of from the two personalities speaking.
Adele, it’s great that you didn’t walk out of the shop for look what a beautiful connection came of it! Your honesty must have been tempered with understanding because the saleswoman was able to hear what you were saying and she would have so welcomed being able to speak to someone as herself not as someone playing a role. She was able to do this because you were being true to yourself and not giving in to reaction. Great example of how we can inspire others to let down their guard.
Adele I love how you bring connection into every aspect of your day to day living. It is inspiring to hear how your willingness to be honest and stay with what felt true to you brought a lovely connection with the sales lady who was, it appears, doing her very best to be of great service to you, but was not connecting to you until you expressed exactly how you felt.
I like the example you have illustrated, that we all have the opportunity to connect and express exactly how we feel to anybody in any situation
“I smiled, and not just from my lips, my eyes and my face, but from my heart and my whole body because there was a resounding simplicity and harmony felt within.” I could the reflection of myself in the car window whilst doing this the other day. The sheer joy was unmistakable and it makes me realise what a treasure this is to the world.
“The customer service lady seemed to be taken by surprise as this came out from my mouth” what came out of your mouth was inspiration galore Adele. It was really awesome to hear how unreserved you are. And how by this, you opened up so much for yourself and for others. Super loved it.
From my experience people love hearing the truth as it releases us from feeling like with have to maintain any pretences.
It is great how simply being honest can expose a consciousness that can hang around a certain job. It is great to learn things about the beauty products what does what etc. but what stood out for me is how fast it becomes just an automatic response. Like in the instances was telling you how to apply the cream: “She suggested using an upward movement, as the product has a firming effect” and how that can stand in the way of true connection when it is just said as a automatic response because not everybody may need a firming effect,
And always the question: Who starts?
Who starts with dropping the guard?
Who starts with being honest?
Who starts to understand?
Who starts with holding the other in love?
I wish all off this to be experienced in this world – so I choose to bring it. Then it is there, I make sure of it.
I can count on ‘the world’ when I can count on me.
This is gold Sandra, The responsibility starts with us.
To offer connection even it is not offered by my counterpart it is the key to service, to serve us all. In fact it is needed here the most. You could react to the talking of the women in the shop Adele, but by staying and offering honesty she was able to join you and you had this lovely moment of being together – lovely!
I too have found it really amazing when I don’t filter what I want to express and just say what it is I am feeling without feeling I need to know what is next, just expressing without judgement.
I was at an HR meeting yesterday – potentially explosive situation between two key members of the organisation. When it started we were just about to launch into all the problems (bit of a to do list), but instead I just started with honouring what the protagonist was feeling (hurt and rejected), he opened up and the whole quality of the meeting changed. Throughout the rest of the meeting, that initial connection held it together and it was the transformational glue for all of us.
This is an awesome story, taking a step for the beauty industry towards the fact that we don’t need correcting ,just supporting, and that such an industry should not be about suppressing people into feeling they need fixing but supporting people to know they are already amazing. The interactions we can have when we share honestly and don’t let ourselves just be uncomfortable are so profound and uplifting, much like they eye cream.
“Connection is actually very simple. It can happen every moment in our every day, in our commitment to living what we know is true in our body and not hold back in expressing.” I am learning this more and more as long as I choose to stay with my body and honour this, my expression becomes easier and with no strings attached to what is said either.
The honesty of your expression is so beautiful to feel and the aliveness and simplicity felt when expressing truth is an amazing way of being. It changes life and brings about a clarity and joyful knowing inside that is our natural way so often held back and repressed.
It’s amazing the vast difference between a person expressing from their truth rather than almost a robotic like expression where information is shared. It’s actually quite saddening to see as there is no part of this true person in it at all – a great way of breaking this hold so to speak, is by simple saying Hi, how are you?
Often people are surprised by this – as if ‘are you speaking to me?’ which goes to show how little true care and love we express with one another as a society.
It just goes to show how we all crave love, connection and intimacy.
Adele I whole heartedly agree – the connection and joy we can have with everybody, by letting go of protection and being ourselves is amazing, very real, very powerful on so many levels and very inspiring.
Gorgeous Adele, ‘Connection is actually very simple. It can happen every moment in our every day’, when I am feeling connected with myself i notice how open I am with people that I meet in my day and how easily I connect with them – chatting with someone at a till in the supermarket; at a bus stop or a warm open smile shared walking down the street – I feel a sense of brotherhood, that we are connected, when I’m not connected with myself I find that this lovely, natural connection with others is not there, that I feel separate from others and am usually instead caught up in my issues.
Beautiful Adele, it goes to show when we simply say what we feel then it allows for an open conversation and communication. Sales people tend to be trained in a certain way and want to hit certain made up goals or targets and so have almost a pre-prepared pitch but that does not take into account who is in front of you and is aimed at the sale rather than the customer. Brining it back to connection 1st is the most important thing, then the product and sale can come after that.
I work in the health and beauty retail industry, and as you say Adele, it is all about making money by suggesting products that will ‘fix’ the perceived flaws in people. It’s the foundation this industry sits on. I observe the anxiety in customers when they are faced with the marketing for new products that address things we would never have thought to be an issue before seeing or being told about the product that will ‘fix’ it. The intention behind the whole industry is to create demand by undermining our natural confidence. The marketing is all about getting us to compare ourselves to an ideal and coming up short, we then buy the products to ‘fix’ ourselves. It’s pretty evil.
The simplicity of the fact connection naturally happens when we commit to living what we know is true in our body and expressing it is very confirming. There is no complex or secret way to connect, it is there naturally ready for anyone at anytime, simply by the choices we make. As I write this it allows me to feel a deeper sense of ease at which connection is not something we have to do but something that we can allow by the way we live.
So beautiful that you spoke up and shared so honestly with her – whilst a sales assistant obviously has a job to do, it is so much less imposing when they connect with you and what you are after instead of selling/fixing. A great learning for her and a beautiful confirmation for you to not hold back. Thank you Adele 🙂
And enjoying ourselves in connection is huge as this really supports us to stay present with ourselves and therefore with everyone else when interacting.
Connection to self is something I would recommend to every single person in the world.
It’s interesting how this is the depth of connection that deep down everyone truly wants but when we go into playing a ‘role’ or the mechanical action of ‘providing information’ these opportunities are lost.
Thank you, Adele, for sharing this story because it really shows how enriched our lives can be when we understand that in every given moment we can connect deeper with another and the potential that occurs when 2 people connect is outstanding and magical. The fact that you and the shop assistant were talking like two lost friends in a short amount of time is really beautiful and no doubt impacted both of your days.
Adele through offering another the opportunity to connect, you offered them so much. The connection is a portal into an endless chasm of truth, love, harmony, stillness and joy. We can’t possibly know what comes from even a single moment of connection with another.
Connection is staying true to you wherever you go with whomever you meet.
I so love what you are sharing Adele, that connection is about love and truth in any situation. I have had similar encounters with people and it is always amazing, when I just share what I really feel from the love and truth of it. It makes me laugh because it can be quite surprising when a not ‘normal’ or ‘polite’ response is given. I love the joy that follows such interactions, we have constructed conditions of how to be in society that disconnect people when actually people are just dying to be truly connected too.
Adele, what a great reflection you gave the sales person when you said that you did not want to correct anything you simply wanted some eye cream. We are not used to another confirming our own beauty as we are so programmed to putting ourselves down.
I love how you turned the situation around from one that is about selling products to one that is about sharing, honesty and connection.
Wow Adele I love the simplicity in this blog, clear and to the point what you shared with this lady was a pure healing. Thank you for bringing it back to Love.
Connection with others starts with connection to self. When we stay connected to ourselves we can then share honestly with others and not slip into ‘auto-pilot’ reactions. When we share from our connection to our self others are offered the opportunity to do so to and as your lovely story reveals Adele, they like these opportunities. Could it be everyone is waiting for someone else to connect to them first before they drop their guard and speak their truth?
Honesty – when spoken, held in the body and expressed through movement and the way we live is Universal. We all know what if feels like in our body and are open to accepting it regardless of the initial reaction. This is a simple example of how honesty opens the way for there to be more – more of others and more of who we are to be shared and lived. Thank Adele
What I also love about your sharing is the confirmation we know what we want and what is needed for our body. Adele, you knew what you wanted when you came into the shop.
Such a gorgeous and simple example of connection and just like you shared there can be no real connection without expressing (without reaction of course) what you feel. This intimacy lays the foundation for the connection. To be able to express this we have to be connected to our bodies otherwise we don’t feel what is really going on. This is a constant focus and anchor for me. Without connection to myself there is no connection to another.
“what was being said in honesty did not offend her”. I recognise in my self the pattern to be afraid of being honest because I assume that the other one or ones might react to my honesty. Reading your words Adele made me wonder if it is not me that puts a limit on my own honesty and truth by pre-assuming – which means I hold (on to) ideals and beliefs – that I won’t be heard. I remember now talking about God with a friend that I know since my early teens a few months ago. I was so afraid talking about what was going on for me, but to my surprise he opened up a lot and we had a beautiful conversation about God and Religions. How Beautiful and deeply confirming that we can only change the way we receive life by the way we are with life. Amazing science.
Not wanting to feel the reaction of another in the face of truth is us not wanting to feel that we have reacted in the past and withheld the expression of truth.
This is beautiful Adele. I often write off the situation when someone treats me like that. I can go into, you go first. By this I mean that if they don’t offer any connection first, then I withdraw. Yet my offering of connection is exactly that. The other person may of course may not take the offer of connection, but it is my offering that is important. When we realise each moment is a moment for connection, we allow for magic.
I find that Nikki to go first requires moving (sometimes I dive) into surrender with no pre-conceived pictures or security and an exquisite awareness of our hurts, as they could be like an outstretched limb trying to trip us.
Thanks Nikki, I realise now how much I’ve waited for the connection to come from another. Rather than bringing all of me to any situation I would wait for a confirmation from another to get some kind of recognition. When I live from my essence I feel I can move into any situation and the connections with others really light up.
This is such a game changer Adele, the moment you chose to honour what you were truly feeling rather than scurrying off to escape the situation is huge. How often do we avoid speaking our truth because we are afraid of the person’s reaction and feeling rejected as a result. When we are able to express what it is we are feeling with zero judgment or blame, it supports the other person to remain open to hear what we are sharing and respond. It can be very magical where a conversation can go and how we can deepen our connection with people when we chose to be honest and share ourselves with love.
Avoidance in expressing truth when we know it is escaping from our responsibility of committing to life so we can have the excuse that the world and life is not how we know it is, a very clear picture of a self-created prophesy to live capped, changing the game is only stopping our own irresponsibility, a great and very needed place to start.
Such a beautiful example of what can happen when we speak our truth, connection is everything and both of your lives were enriched and expanded by that simple connection.
So much enrichment comes from simplicity and honesty.
A great example here, Adele, of how simple it is to change the whole tenor of an interaction, when we are being totally honest with the other person we are interacting with in any aspect of life. So many of the salespeople we come across are trained to give us endless information about so many products, and yes, it can be so overwhelming. As you shared here, when we ‘stop them in their tracks’ by lovingly expressing how we feel about this, they are given an opportunity to also be completely honest, and it can alter the whole interaction into one where as you say, you were communicating like old friends. Expressing truth is so important for us all, if in this case, you had not done so, then you may possibly have left the shop without the item that you required, and the shop assistant would not have known why you had left. You gave her a great opportunity to understand the overwhelm that she had created in you by offering too much information. A great learning for her.
A great practical example Adele of how it feels when an inundation of mental thoughts come-in: “cloudy and the urge to move away”. It’s great how you chose to stay with this moment and simply say what you where feeling. What a beneficial connection you both shared when truth was introduced.
Sandra I am finding myself in many cloudy situations, what a revelation you have expressed there!
Its easy to just walk away when things seem too clouded, I know I have many times. When we choose to uncover more about what is going on we are able to see through the fog and come to a greater understanding.
Your honesty first with yourself and then as well with the sales lady by expressing yourself delivers a fullness from where the conversation can be real and connectional. That´s the way to be in the world, to relate to people, bringing back the substance that lets us feel why we love connecting with one another.
Very true Alex, we can feel when there is a falseness or a superficiality and it is the ‘being real’ which allows for that true connection to be felt.
For someone who may not experience much connection or are in an industry where it is about sales not people – what a refreshing blessing to have someone like Adele speak with you or even walk past. Our connection with ourselves is a greatly felt and needed reflection for humanity. And a huge support of others seeing what is possible, as was the meet between Adele and the sales lady.
What a great demonstration of connection Adele! I was reflecting as I was reading about how often I may not be enjoying a conversation I am having with a sales person but I often just go along with what they are saying, buy what I want to buy and then get out of the shop. You have given me a gentle jolt as to how I could deepen my connection with people at those times simply by meeting them from a place of willingness to make a connection and to speak truthfully. Thank you.
The combination of feeling the truth in our body and expressing it is very powerful. Connection coming from this combination is solid, trustworthy and real hence very relatable for another.
Once we open up and express how we feel, the connection is instantly there, regardless of who is in front of you.
When we get to the heart of the matter, to honesty, then we are able to really connect with ourselves and with others.
Another one of your beautiful gems, Adele, love it. I especially am drawn to your comment here, “Connection is actually very simple. It can happen every moment in our every day, in our commitment to living what we know is true in our body and not hold back in expressing”. A very great reminder, thank you. Yes, how simple it is, commitment is key to connecting with myself in every moment, and it is wonderful to stay with that connection with every interaction we have with others. How important it is to do as you did in the interaction you described, where you turned around a situation where you were being overwhelmed with the information being given to you, and insinuation that your features needed some correction. It was beautiful to read of the great connection and interaction you had with the sales lady after you expressed to her how you were feeling. We have all to express to others how we are feeling, it can change the whole experience to a beautiful experience for both as you have showed.
The honesty in the communication show the power of being fragile. If we truly express how we feel things will actually change. If you had not done this Adele everything would have stayed the same. It shows me even more clearly how only expressing our truth in every moment is what can truly change this world around.
Your sharing of how you truly felt lifted the veil of automatic responses and trained ways of approaching clients or people. In that moment the saleslady was offered the opportunity to simply be herself as well. This is the power of true connection.
Beautiful blog Adele and one that demonstrates the connection that is possible with a complete stranger if we are prepared to share honestly and not be constrained by the roles we play.
The business principle of supply and demand has created a situation where the demand at times is artificially created by making the customer feeling insufficient in some way; then the product or service is offered to fulfill the need. This doesn´t allow for a true connection as it is not about people but selling products. Making business real is making it about people and caring for each other as happened after Adele allowed herself to be real.
Beautiful example of the fact that we are equal, ie. we all respond to true connection as we can feel that it is natural to our being.
This is a great example of honesty expressed to a foreign person. I like it, Adele.
Thank you Adele, that is a great sharing! We can easily give up upon the coldness of systems and automatic responses from seemingly ‘robot-like’ people, but when we are connected with the warmth of our heart and communicate from there, we start to converse in a different dimension, which opens up doors to a richness and loveliness that we then realize we have missed our whole life.
Connection is such a wonderful leveller. ‘We were already communicating like long time friends’ and while you were learning about different products from the lady assistant there was space for her to learn from you about lipsticks. When we truly connect there remains no rigid roles, no one is more or less, just two human beings sharing the joy of the moment.
“So what is it that you are looking to correct?” This is a great point you bring out, Adele, that by this question it immediately makes one feel there must be something wrong with oneself. The fact that you were able to respond in the way you did, claiming yourself, is a true reflection of how connected you are to yourself and a great inspiration for us all.
The depth of connection we have with our loved ones is possible with everybody on the street. The more I allow myself to express this, the more all interactions become like the ones with family. There is less and less difference between intimate and official conversations. And there are more and more officially intimate conversations!
I appreciate you story Adele and the way you delivered something true without making the person wrong and maintaining that all-important connection.
When we are connecting and expressing in life it takes away all the stress.
What a gift you gave to the saleslady Adele! She will not forget your encounter with her and her approach to people has now an opportunity to evolve to a more honest level as well!
It IS so simple when we commit to the honesty without any holding back, that our bodies are naturally tuned to express. Absolutely gorgeous Adele. Inspirational!
The final comment where you write truth is Universal took me back to all the moments I have found myself overseas having to find ways to communicate with someone who didn’t speak english. There are soo many aspects I enjoyed in these moments, they drew us closer together – we had to observe each other more closely to reach an understanding.
It is interesting that we have preformed ideas about all of our relationships, before they even start. This comes from the roles we play in life. So when 2 people meet, it is 2 roles coming together. ..in this case one is the “seller” and the other is the “buyer”. Information gets exchanged, as confusing as it is.. but where are we in these interactions?
When we get real, get honest the roles can fall away (if we choose, because we can keep hanging on) and then we have it, two people. As you have said Adele, you can talk like old friends to a person you never met before. Surely this shows us something very profound about who we are when we step out from behind those roles, how naturally and beautifully we connect.
When we connect with a so called stranger, they loose the title of stranger and become a dear friend as instantly it is like we have known them forever. This is beautifully demonstrated in your blog Adele.
The other day a friend rang me and asked if anything was up with me with her. I said no and asked her why she thought this. She said the last few phone calls we had were not of the same quality as usual. I remembered that I had been in the middle of something both times with deadlines looming when she had rung and I had not connected with her, as I was distracted. It was a great learning as it would not have taken me any time to truly connect then get on with what I needed to complete. We waste more time in not connecting then when we do and it affects the quality of what ever we are doing because the quality in one moment will determine the quality of the next.
Adele, in reading your title ‘what is connection?’ it caused me to reflect on disconnection and I came to the horrifying conclusion that most people are actually disconnected most of the time. And by disconnection I mean disconnection from themselves, which then leads to disconnection from everybody else.
How beautiful to truly express yourself, with no judgement or attack on another, just saying what you’re feeling and presenting it for another to consider. Thank you Adele for sharing this!
Wow what a healing and inspiration Adele for the woman you connected with, simply by being honest with her, with yourself and how that beautifully lets the other in. The simplicity of this story is immensely powerful, I still have a big smile on my face from reading it ☺️
Wow, what is this doing to Women when the cosmetics/beauty industry comes from the foundation that there is always something wrong with us rather than; we are already beautiful and choose to use cosmetics to nurture ourselves – rather than make up for a lack.
“Connection is actually very simple. It can happen every moment in our every day, in our commitment to living what we know is true in our body and not hold back in expressing.” This is awesome, when we can do this for ourselves and then share it with such attention to detail, with the world, as you have expressed here Adele.
The truth can, so often seem like an elephant in the room, a thing that we all do our very best to avoid, and run around in great big circles. Yet all we seem to do is tie ourselves in knots and get confused. No wonder we are so exhausted. How different would life be, if we all as you did here Adele, simply express what feels true? Perhaps then we would see that the truth will never sit on us and squash us, but is wise, all-knowing, gentle and strong and has the power to lift everyone effortlessly along.
Beautiful Joseph. The truth is all knowing and leaves no one behind. We are all on a journey together in this life and learning to express with one another from an honesty we are not used to sharing from is a great way in building and unifying us as a whole.
“Connection is actually very simple”, yes it is, but it has taken me a very long time to understand how simple it is. Looking back I would struggle to make a true connection to others, and much of the time I would even try to avoid connecting to another person while never really understanding why, until now. These days I absolutely love connecting to others and to feel the joy that taking the time to be with them brings both me and them.
As I age and more wrinkles appear I go from being so comfortable in my skin that I am fine with the changes in my appearance to begin mortified at how many wrinkles are appearing and what is drooping! What I know for sure is that if I wasn’t so inspired by those who are older than me and who are living in a way that is all about love and I too have made big changes to the way I live I would be paying a small fortune on products promising the world of reduction in wrinkles, it would be some what of an obsession. I know this as that is what I see all around me is women desperate to not grow old. So much is lost in this and a total lack of appreciation of what true beauty is, that within that glow of warmth and divinity the sparkle in the eyes. This is what I know beauty to be and I am sure that when I am older I will be in love with my reflection as staring back at me will be divine.
I love how that when we connect with someone it is so easy, and I love how you describe the words just coming out and shocking the lady and you a bit – it just shows us that when we effortlessly express what we truly feel everyone gets the opportunity to deepen or not and its the when the other does not connect and resists that most of us go into reaction and hiding for fear of being hurt. But to live life in this fear is so diminished and opportunities like the one you have described are lost.
I actually have avoided skincare products just for the reasons you shared, I have felt totally overwhelmed by how many, and the sales pitch never feeling like anyone is sharing honestly, and your point about us needing to be fixed. I still feel like this even though I started to have more fun with make up recently and do find duty free shopping the most relaxed as no one is particularly selling you can brouze more. I look froward to the day that I am in my own skin enough to be open and willing to connect with the beauty counters at big malls!
Vanessa I have reacted the same and for many years, but was put into being a beauty editor during a time in my life to not run away from the responsibility of expressing truth.
It is interesting how I am aware how I have held back in the past for fear of offending someone if I were to disagree with them. But as you say Adele, when we express with honesty, there is no reaction from the person because there is no reaction from us either, it’s simply truth we are expressing and the person has an opportunity to feel it too if they so wish. It feels like the assistant may change her approach to talk to her customers because of your experience with her, which is a lovely reflection for you to feel.
Being nice and not offending others by holding back truth is a picture that many of us hold, but fear is not real and the proof is when truth is consistently expressed without expectation, our bodies can confirm that.
I love the simplicity and beauty you share in this blog Adele that ‘connection is actually very simple’. I totally agree with this, when we share ourselves openly with another it gives permission for another to be themselves and enjoy the power and joy that comes with a true connection.
Interesting point you make about the beauty industry Adele and how products are presented as being able to fix something that is wrong with us. We are being fed ideas that compound our feelings of not being worthy or being good enough. This is not something I had thought about before.
Sharing honestly how you felt opened up space for you both to have a great conversation. I bet you are glad you didn’t leave the shop when you first felt to. Our response can be to flee when we feel uncomfortable, but I can see how being honest in such moments offers everyone a chance to open up with each other.
I felt that joy of connection with another as I read your blog Adele. The simplicity and beauty of it raised the question why do I not choose this all the time?
Making connections with others transforms EVERYTHING…I wonder why we have brushed this aside and not valued its importance?
I agree Adele, the connection you speak of is actually very simple. So why do many of us hold back? Choosing instead to keep ourselves in isolation from each other by closing off in protection, keeping our heads down … and as I am writing this I realised I am stuck, struggling with words because I am choosing to not connect to myself! Deep down we know we are amazing, glorious beings with all the wisdom of the universe at our disposal, so all it needs is one person to open up and connect to allow another to feel safe to open up too, and if we remain open and apply this philosophy to everywhere we go, we leave a trail of love in our wake and open up the opportunities to express more love in front of us.
Adele your blog and experience goes to show that we can build relationships and connect with anyone that we meet, and emphasises the importance of not judging others for their beliefs or first interaction with us as they may be an incredibly sweet person who has simply been influenced by strong ideals, such as that of the beauty industry.
Connection simply brings out the sweetness in everyone when we move past our self-imposed ideals and judgments.
Some sales assistants know how to connect with customers and support them to make a choice. rather than simply selling a product and when you meet one its a joy, as I did recently, I felt the sales assistant’s warmth and interest as soon as we started talking, told her what I wanted and why. We talked cosmetics, but other things as well. When I headed for a particular colour of foundation, she gently suggested one that matched my skin tone more, I tested it and she was right. Cosmetics sales assistants are under a lot of pressure to sell products and to up-sell, getting the customer to buy more than they intended.. It was gorgeous to meet one that connected to me as a human being first and not just as a consumer.
The beauty industry is indeed set up to help women ‘correct’ things about themselves. This whole stance and intention is so warped to begin with and encourages us to think that way. This intention is obviously based on making profit, therefore the money is more important than people. As women we need to claim ourselves back as you did Adele, and value ourselves more than any product that we can buy. The products can then be a gorgeous enhancement to the beauty we already feel within.
Awesome when we choose to stay with a situation that feels awkward and bring truth and love to that situation. A very simple and inspiring blog. Thank you Adele.
Adele how often do we not say something in the fear of how the other person may take it? For me this has been many times over yet as you’ve shared and I’ve also experienced if we share something in full without trying to make it “fit” or “avoid hurting” someone then the truth is felt deeply and in the vast majority of cases their are no issues at all – simply a deeper understanding and sense of clarity that the truth brings. How great that this can happen with anyone at any time, about anything.
When we speak in absolute honesty it opens up the way for others to communicate the truth of how they feel about themselves, their work, their life.
Apart from a good moisturiser, does any of those other creams actually work? Or are they all just part of the illusion, that beauty is just skin deep and doesn’t radiate from within. It’s great when we can cut through all the crap and just connect with someone, without all the training or ideals and beliefs getting in the way.
Personally I feel all promises of products are money wasted on advertising as nothing we put on, use or do on the external can guarantee beauty or youth, because in truth we do not need any of that to be beautiful or exude agelessness. Our bodies are the best testimonial.
I know I certainly relate to this experience Adele and I love how you openly shared what was going on and the beautiful opportunity you both had to go deeper in your connection and for it to be one that is real. So many things in our life are so superficial, to be able to connect to people with out any barriers or pre conceived expectations of how we should be or how they should be, life can be very different. Bringing Truth to all that we do and not hold back what we feel in any situation is asking us all to be more than the superficial layers that we have so comfortably been hiding in.
Living your own natural connection where beauty is innate is without question everything, and staying present with this by not needing validation from anything or anyone outside of ourselves is an enormous stepping stone to claiming ourselves fully, life has a tendency to pull us away from this very fact and so it is therefore very important to really make sure that we deeply honour ourselves each moment we can.
Thank you Adele, this very much highlights the simplicity in just speaking what we feel and not in reaction. The healing here all-around is enormous.
We live in a world of images and most of the time we communicate by images instead of really connecting to the person we communicate with. This is why we don’t truly listen to what is said as we are guided by the image. Basically it is a communication between two sets of images. When we truly connect we let go of the images and actually make a connection.
A beautiful example, Adele, of how we can inspire great shifts in the way industries/professions behave, from the ground up, in our everyday interactions and conversations. The ripple effect of your eye cream conversation will be ongoing.
This is a great example Adele of how being honest in communication, cuts the complication and protection between people.
How liberating it is when we keep things simple – like this blog, it is honest, real and inspirational and the joy is rather infectious. A true recipe for harmony.
Honesty is the gateway to a true connection. When we hold back what we are really feeling, it creates a tension between two people. When we are truly honest and express what it is that we are feeling, there is the opportunity for us to go deeper in our relating with another.
Beauty-full Adele. When we truly connect with another our interactions are full of play and love.
‘There is a deep joy felt when this commitment is reflected back in simple daily encounters, with the confirmation that truth is universal.’ – Truth is indeed universal and we all equally feel it, however we tend to complicate truth by going into our minds and start to analyse, judge or doubt what we feel in each given moment, rather than trusting what we feel and express from there.
I love how you do not hold back in expressing what you feel… and the beautiful encounter you had was a true testament to the power of living in this way. Thank you for sharing this for it is a blessing to all who read it and a great reminder of what is possible when we stay true to what we feel.
What I love most about our expression, is that there is always more ways to learn and grow everyday. That is the magic of true connection.
This has been my experience as a person who sells products, it’s never about selling an item but rather responding to the customer firstly and from their reading what they are actually asking, often it’s deeper than just the words that come out. People are not used to expressing honestly and often feel they have to hide an aspect of the truth. Being transparent does not come easily to us but once a connection is made and the customer feels met all the protection drops away, then I can really be of assistance. I value myself too much just to be there to collect the money and put goods in a bag, I also find by being open, honest and transparent the connections happen easily.
Yes I agree. It is so simple when we are connected to our body. We are able to say just what we are feeling and with that others feel permission to open up and do the same.
Your honesty and clarity in claiming your acceptance of yourself just the way you are, would have been a standout moment for the sales woman…. how many of her customers would have responded in this way. This moment was enough to stop the ‘spiel’ which has worked in the past and reassess the situation, opening up to you in a beautifully natural exchange. I’m sure it would have made her day and possibly inspired her to a different approach.
The simplicity of sharing honestly can never be unappreciated. Thank you Adele.
In all of our industries we have developed a “role play’ that goes with the job, and a whole set of ideals and beliefs that keep this illusion at bay. What you have simply exposed Adele is that underneath it all is real people wanting to connect, and everything else is a facade to keep at bay the eternal longing we feel when we are separated from love.
Love it Adele, through being honest and not holding back your expression you were able to make a true connection, putting both the saleslady and yourself at ease and on an equal footing.
“What is it that you’re trying to correct?” I’m sure the saleslady didn’t mean to imply anything with this question, but inadvertently did because that is how we have created the beauty industry these days. I also bet that at home later that night as she looked at herself in the mirror, that she remembered your words and went to bed feeling that perhaps there’s nothing ‘wrong’ or ‘needs correcting’ with herself either, it just feels nice to have strong, supple, hydrated skin! This to me is how the world can change and be a more loving one.
Adele what you share shows that underneath it all what everyone seeks is simply connection. What an amazing opportunity for you both, through you stopping and connecting honestly with what you felt you were able to truthfully and deeply connect to this lady and she to you. A beautiful example of what we can all bring at any moment!
I love this example of connecting with people. I find that when I connect to people and share in truth, they are then able to connect with what is true and respond from this same truth. Beautiful.
One of the things about the sales pitch and sales spiels is that are so robotic, they are memorised and repeated so often that there is no room for true connection. It would be interesting to see sales in general move away from this tactic to simply connecting to people.
To not feel that there is something wrong with you and that you do not need cosmetics to make you look better but rather support you in your expression and health is enormous and to share this openly is even grander as it gives everybody else permission to find this out for themselves.
Dear Adele, Thank you for sharing. I love the simplicity of what you shared, and how you listened to your body and expressed what was there to be shared. I too had a similar experience when trying some eye-shadow and he asked me which one was my ‘worse eye’ and I replied I had neither, both my eyes are beautiful and then we talked about how the beauty industry works on that we need to fix something and that it can be there to enhance or showcase but not fix because there is nothing wrong with us. I love that conversations like this are being had all over the world. Love, Sarah
Adele, thank you for your sharing – it is indeed special when we can bring honesty to the table in any conversations even with people who we don’t know, and then from here we can develop a relationship with them. Initially, there may be moments of discomfort as we express things openly and honestly, but this is also part of real conversations, and allows for a relationship to deepen. If we don’t speak the truth and just pretend that everything is fine or hold back what we really want to say, then there will always be a feeling of ‘fakeness’ or shallowness to the conversation and the relationship. Awesome that you opened up and shared what you felt with this sales person!
What you did here Adele, was allow the woman the space to just be herself. In not buying in to her usual script, she was afforded the opportunity to actually connect with you and with herself. What a blessing for you both.
This is very beautiful Adele. In being honest and open there is the potential for intimacy in every encounter.
Thank you Adele for sharing with us how beautiful true connection can be, when we open up and speak honestly without holding back.
Beautiful as you share Adele, connection is the key. Connecting to the person and understanding what they need rather than getting caught into selling a product. We face a lot of this in our hospitality business, where we have to connect and understand what the customers would like, if we fail to connect we loose the booking, if we connect we often secure the booking. It’s not just about selling or putting up with what someone is selling to you, it’s about expressing truth in that moment.
It is GOLD when true connection is made between two people. Thank you for sharing Adele, it is a beautiful reminder to be honest and connect to people even when we can feel the conversation is not heading that way. By us choosing to be open and honest this can shift the direction of our interaction to be one that is of true connect. We may never see that same person again but what is magical is the connection and the reflection of evolutionary expressions.
We do always have the possibility to connect. Joy comes when I choose to do so.
What is clear here is that our ‘foundation’ – what we truly know and hold about who we are and the love we live for ourselves influences what we do in our lives. When this is solid everything else flows. It is simple. This is a beautiful reflection of your solid foundation Adele and the reflection that this offers another. Thank you.
I have had similar experiences myself in the past where the conversation was all about what you needed to fix with the product and you either left falsely feeling the product was going to magically fix you, or feel very deflated because you actually have a flaw that needs improvement. Your example Adele of your experience with really connecting with the person, highlights the fact that being truly honest about how you feel, brings out each others natural ability to connect in a very real and true way where you cannot help but see/feel and appreciate the other and express that to them.
Adele, your blog is such a beautiful sharing. How easy it would have been to walk out of the shop when you felt the overwhelm form the sales lady. Yet you show simply that by speaking what was true for you how the dynamic between you both changed and the connection was formed. From your blog I am inspired to speak my truth in situations more and not hold back.
Rachelmurtagh1 it is very easy to walk out the door especially if this was an ingrained momentum of not living connection through the holding back of truth, but we can all choose to stop at any moment, and choose again for ourselves rather than being led by this momentum.
Hello Adele and great story, thank you. We often mistake connection to be with a person but as we know connection is just that, truly connecting to what is in front of you. That could be a car door, a toothbrush or the carpet under your feet. Everything is a connection and it is just whether we choose to be aware or present with it. As you are saying in the connection everything comes and so at any point if we are looking to ‘walk out of the shop’ then that is us loosing our connection and nothing to do with what someone has done. Yes we all play a role in it but ultimately it all comes back to our connection and the depth or living consistency of our connection at any point, no blame, no ones fault just another depth to our connection exposed.
Absolutely Ray, if we had to walk out the door at that moment, so be it, that is all we are ready for then. But it is what we choose again next time that is key from the awareness gained or not.
I love what you share here and I love your honesty. It is so important that we let others know how their behaviour is affecting us and share so that they understand.
I had a vacume sales person come into my house when I opened the front door and go on with a very pushy spiel and once I stopped him and explained that he had just barged in and that I like to get to know people before they come straight in my house and that I like a bit of personal space to get to know someone he suddenly became aware of his actions. Sometimes, we can get so distracted and focused on a goal, i.e selling that we are not connected at all and not aware of how we are and how that then affects another, so it is actually honouring and supportive of everyone to call it out instead of letting it play out and feel uncomfortable.
Thank you for this Adele. The simplicity bought by you speaking the truth cuts through all the complication that is brought in when we over think things. I have found that expressing truth allows me to remain clear in making decisions about what is supportive and what is not.
In connection we are in union with our Soul, with the universe, with all and with God. When we express from this connection we are reflecting the universal truth of all of us.
There is such a huge pressure from the beauty industry to purchase products to ‘fix your flaws’ so you can appear ‘picture perfect’ and ‘flawless’. This falls far from the mark of celebration the beautiful essence of women as firstly, this serves only to confirm that we are not already beautiful and that we need products so we can match up to the images of beauty presented. And secondly, if there is something we see in our faces that does not feel beautiful this is an opportunity to reflect deeper as to what is truly going on so we can deepen our connection, not to just cover it up and ‘correct it’ with a product. When we are in connection with our essence, the sparkle of our Love through our faces is greater than any product that we could ever apply.
Thank you Adele for sharing how simple yet powerful connection is. In every moment we are offered an opportunity to be in connection with ourselves and when we express from here we bring the truth in every situation. This may not always be well received but when it is what is offered is an opportunity to deepen our relationship with truth for ourselves and with each other. It is through connection to love that the truth is always shared as it is a reflection of who we all are and all that we know.
So simple and so beautiful. The other day I was in a health food store and a young women approached me and very caringly asked me with a smile if I needed any help. I had just realised they didn’t have the toothpaste I wanted so I told the lady I had come in for toothpaste but you didn’t have what I wanted so it’s ok thanks. In this moment I saw the smile on the women’s face drop and she apologised they didn’t have it. Instantly I felt how hard, shut down and protected I had been with her, it felt really horrible and in that moment I saw how easy it was to not connect with people, to give closed or protected answers and how I block people out based on past experiences of feeling arrayed by imposing sales people. I realised I’ve been aware of this behaviour in the past and I would always then cover it up by being nice to the person, asking another question I think will please them, or offering them a compliment about something because I felt bad about how I was. Today I did not do this, I looked at the women in the eye’s seen how hurt she was that I was so hard with her, that I had rejected an opportunity to connect and I felt deeply into her eye’s how everyone is longing to connect and that I just let go of one moment to do this. I acknowledge this with my eyes and from my heart said thank you to the women and left. As I walked away I felt in my body the hardness and shut down and what it really felt like to speak to another like this and what lead me to actually do this – feeling the fullness of i knew I wouldn’t make the same choice again.
When we hold back and do not allow ourselves to feel our vulnerability we would protect ourselves and act and sound hard and cold to another, but we are just hurt thinking we can’t allow ourselves to feel that and express it, but we can. That begins the connection we have with ourselves.
Adele, this is a delicious sharing and a gentle reminder for me about the true joy in connecting with another which we have many opportunities to do everyday.
It is what we all crave and after so long without it, who knows what might happen once it is rediscovered! That is the key for me. Not putting any pre-conditions or expectations on it. Just connect and trust.
Expressing back to truth is what the particles in our bodies are all celebrating in joy for. We all crave for this movement towards true freedom.
Adele, thank you for sharing this story – how powerful it is to express from what we are feeling, rather than getting caught up in some old belief of there is something inherently ‘wrong’ with us. A trap I was always getting caught up in until being inspired by Serge Benhayon’s presentations to make changes in my life, which has led to me knowing that we are all so much more than our physical body – the facial lines are no longer important when our natural beauty shines out from within.
“I fully understand this is the way the beauty industry expresses, but when you tell me a product can correct something about me, it feels like there is something wrong with me to begin with, but that is not true”.
We tend to make life so complex, we play out our roles and speak to one another as if resigned to being separate, yet this experience shows how simple it is to choose honesty, openness and just connect, and how magical the experience is. Very gorgeous.
I love this sharing Adele, how different we can make any encounter when we bring our full honesty. I sometimes find myself not wanting to be honest as it might prove uncomfortable for myself or for another, yet being honest creates a health in our bodies that we very rarely consider. To think of the smile from your heart, it reminded me of the article on the Roseto effect, how our social interactions create such amazing wellbeing in ways that are not so often considered: http://www.unimedliving.com/living-medicine/illness-and-disease/the-roseto-effect-a-lesson-on-the-true-cause-of-heart-disease.html
Your blog highlights we all love connection but we learned to be professional, to play a role in our job, our life.
Your sharing shows us how we can be simply honest, no frustration just telling how it felt for you, a healing for everyone.
Being purely professional feels empty, it is never enough in terms of people truly connecting with each other, superficiality always leaves us short, living reduced is self-abuse.
A simple, beautiful, every-day-life-example of how we (could) make a difference in any given moment. It requires an openness and fragility to ‘just’ share what’s (really) going on for us. Instead of trying to push away our feelings. We’re so super sensitive and wise that in every situation we are, we’re able to express whatever needs to be expressed. As so beautiful shared in this article, Adele was even herself surprised about what she expressed. I smiled when reading this as I recognise this. There’s a wonderment in Life when we choose to surrender to it. And forever expanding. I love reading these blogs. Food for thoughts!
Adele, this is such an amazing reminder that every interaction with another person is an opportunity for true connection – it makes the world of difference. Imagine what our society would be like if this was the norm in each and every interaction and relationship and not the exception.
Another great blog Adele and great example of the difference it makes when you connect with another, you are both left in harmony when you part ways. Imagine if you had walked out with out connecting, both of you would have felt the emptiness of your interaction.
What truly devastates also marylouisemyers is if I did walk out without connecting, we would both then (continue to) move with the pictures that communication is hard, connection is non-existent, and that humanity is not to be trusted, pictures which control so many of us, but are all false. We would continue to uphold our world with what is not true.
Good point marylouisemyers, in one person holding that honesty back then two people would have missed out on connecting. It brings to our attention how important it is to not hold back what we feel.
So simple Adele and yet profound – you felt what was happening in your body, identified it and communicated honestly with the sales woman as to what was occurring for you. In taking full responsibility there was no blame laid and she was able to receive what you had to say and the true connection was made.
Thank you for sharing Adele. I can feel from your blog I have accepted, and I think we as a whole society have accepted, ways of talking with each other that are ‘professional’ but totally keep each other out. Going into the roles of beauty advisor and client and then not being ourselves at all. From your blog I can feel that if we just are ourselves and say what we really feel about things – be real – it brings the opportunity to be together with each other like friends without having met each other before.
Oh my goodness – the power of connection is undeniable – in connection every conversation can be evolutionary. Thank you for sharing this amazing experience with us all Adele.
I love this example of connection Adele mainly because it shows us that life isn’t about being nice just to please others. Not that there is anything wrong with being nice, but what you have shown here connection comes from us making space to feel and express in any given moment.. it is unpredictable in this way and opens the door to gorgeous moments such as this one you have shared here with us.
This is a great example of knowing yourself and what you are feeling. When I was growing up I disconnected to what I was feeling, even what emotions I was having. It has taken me many years but I have been able to re-connect to who I am and begin to express this. To start with it felt very foreign and I felt very frustrated and challenged, but after persisting for awhile I can feel my expression flows so much more easily now. To connect the two, knowing what I am feeling and expressing this, feels amazing.
Over the past couple of months I have been into the same store several times to buy shoes and have been attended to by the most warmly engaging, supportive and non imposing sales woman, who has always gone out of her way to assist me, allowing me the time and space to make the right choice. I have deeply appreciated her care but never expressed it, until today, buying a beautiful pair of boots I felt to share my appreciation of her care and assistance, and that the love of her job was felt in the shop and by those she tended to, she was deeply touched and this openness allowed a space to communicate on a deeper level about care, service, the love of one’s job and interacting and communicating with people……so not only did I come away with beautiful pair of boots but both of us had experienced a deeper connection and my shopping experience was totally joy-full.
Adele, a gorgeous example of choice: we can either go into reaction or defence or transform a situation by simply connecting with the other person. Your honest response to the sales assistant supported her to move from ‘sales pitch’ to connecting with you the woman in front of her and opened true communication between the two of you.
Interesting how the beauty trade feels we need to correct anything – and how much more glorious to find ways that simply appreciate and complement our natural inner beauty. This is in truth a reflection of how we feel about ourselves – never quite matching up to the image we ourselves have created. Why create an image at all? Why not simply feel and enjoy what is naturally there?
I imagine most beauty product saleswomen have no idea that when they says ‘improves’ it infers there is something wrong with you, it is such a commonly accepted/acceptable thing to say when it comes to beauty products. I love that you brought what it actually felt like to your sales woman’s attention and how she responded. Honesty without emotion really does support connection.
I love reading what you write, Adele. The next thing with which I really connected when reading this is, how when we communicate honestly what we are feeling no offence is taken and instead the communication leads to a greater depth of intimacy.
What a relief when the connection is made and everyone can relax and be themselves! Thank you Adele for sharing yourself.
It’s funny that that is the feeling we get, but it’s true – it is relief, in being allowed to be oneself, free from imposition or trying to be something or teach/sell something. It’s in all these little ways that we are truly hurting ourselves by not allowing the all of ‘us/you/me’ out at all times.
What a beautiful experience of true connection with the beauty saleswoman Adele. You have shown me how easy it is to express the truth without offending anyone or putting up with feeling pressured to buy a certain product.
I agree Lorettarapp. To express truth is an art we naturally hold and it is easy to express truth when it comes from our heart, with honesty and openness. It is not just the words we hear but the energy we can feel when truth is expressed in full that inspires us to be this way too.
Ah the simplicity in connection. How much more flow happens when we make it about people and connection first – it takes away the need to ‘sell’ anything (including ourselves) as what is needed can come forth from the connection in preference to a set of ideals or beliefs or external pressure.
That reminds me of a gorgeous connection I actually just had. Walking past the central station after work there was a guy trying to get people to sign a charity fund. He clocked me passing and turned to me and said — you look like a very friendly person! And then he said, actually you look like a very happy person — and he knew that I wasn’t interested in signing up but of course that wasn’t an issue. He simply loved the fact that I met him with my smile, my eyes, and with all of my joy and the impact this had on him was immensely humbling to feel. He asked me for a ‘high five’ and I gave it to him with my all. Simple and gorgeous — the deep joy felt in connection.
We all hold within us immense power to heal ourselves and each other when we activate the love that we all innately have.
I love my daily connection encounters, I just had one with the postman at work. We have such a great connection and every time we see each other, we have this very short chat, but always straight to the matter. We said we will be seeing each other again this Friday and we are both looking forward to it. It feels to me that I have known him for years. Connection is a meeting from heart to heart, knowing that there is no need to do anything, but to just be with each other.
That’s so cool Adele, thank you for sharing this experience. There can be a big consciousness around beauty products and us thinking we’re not good enough or need to fix something to be better, from a lack of self-worth. How refreshing to openly express what you’re feeling with another woman and bring back the simplicity of connection.
I am really inspired by your sharing Adele. Often I have listened to some long winded sales pitch and like you my needs were simple or so I thought. To share honestly how we feel in the moment (as you did) with respect for the sales attendant as well, can save all that discomfort and feeling to flee the shop without what we wanted, or in the event of the door to door salesperson, what we didn’t want!
What I loved from this brief relationship between the sales assistant and you Adele, was the fun you both had. It was interesting that it was your honest and open expression about how you felt being the point that gave her permission to drop the role of sales person and relate to you in a more intimate and personal way. Once this connection was made I could feel the tension and the need to ‘sell’ just drop away, making a sale was not now the focus, your shared exchange was.
Yes… and two women opening up and having fun with each other is absolutely beautiful. It reminds me of a gorgeous connection with a lovely make-up assistant at one of the big department stores one time and how much fun we had like two women in childlike innocence playing with colours and textures with all the wonder and joy make-up ought to bring. It stopped being about the sale very quickly, instead it was about two women connecting and sharing, opening up and letting each other be inspired by the other.
Thank you Adele, how simple is it to connect to people when we simply open up to the truth of our feelings.
Expressing your truth simply and from your heart enabled connection between yourself and the beautician. No need for sales talk then and you felt to buy what was true for you. She won’t forget you.
Adele, to me this is massive what you have shared. You didn’t go into reaction, you didn’t suddenly feel less and that you needed ‘correcting’, you didn’t buy into the sales pitch but held yourself lovingly and expressed to the lady what you truly felt (as you said to your surprise). What you offered here was not just something for the woman to feel and see but it is a ripple of love and truth expressed that carries out to the world reflecting to others energetically how easy it is to do this. Especially in shops where it can be easy to get stressed or hooked into all the sales pitch items and sayings. Not only that you gave the lady an opportunity to see things in a completely different way and most probably change the way she is with customers forever so then they get a completely different and more loving approach to what she had done previously. Amazing. It just goes to show never hold back in what we are feeling as long as it is expressed with Love, it gives another an opportunity to grow and evolve.
To express openly and honestly as you did Adele allows for a deeper connection, it offers just what you are bringing openness and honesty. This lady with whom you were talking accepted that offer and your conversation deepened. I find this often in my life too that when we express our true feelings that deeper connections and more intimate relationships develop, if we hold back our expression we are denying these possibilities and thus are no longer in service. We are like those buses that go by that say ‘not in service’, we are empty and devoid of life whereas expressing brings a fullness and vitality and an ever expanding awareness if we let it.
Not only is this a great example of putting money and sales before people it also flags up how little we appreciate the power of confirmation.
The sales woman may know her sales pitch verbatim but this lifeless and often imperious spiel will never confirm customers.
It seems there is an important part that the sales industry have omitted and that is to simple allow their staff to be who they are first, encourage them to bring their natural interest and joy of the products to the fore, for if they begin with this then a natural care and equality will be developed with their customers, it is connection that brings customers back not the words on the packet.
Our communications and interactions on a daily basis can be very simple and honest when we connect to people, and your example Adele, shows how the conversation can go in all sorts of directions when we let go of what we think we need to say and express with truth. We don’t have to ‘do’ anything special, but simply connect with whoever we’re speaking to.
True connection is what life is all about. Firstly connection to who we truly are and then bringing that connection to everyone we meet. Simple as it brings into physical experience what is also an energetic fact – we are all connected whether we realize it or not.
Beautifully said Susan and so very true. Which is why there is nothing more joyful than being in true connection, in true connection we are home.
I love that you have exposed too the consciousness around beauty and that we always need to be working on fixing rather than simply appreciate that we are already beautiful and only wish to nurture and confirm this. This is huge and would have been huge for the lady you talked with that day. This supports us to feel much more open about ourselves and far less judgemental and self critical.
Gorgeous Adele. Much of the beauty industry sells items that primarily ‘correct’ imperfections, rather than products designed to enhance the already natural beauty of women (and men!). From what I read in advertisements, on the Internet and so forth it’s all about the ‘most effective’ anti ageing cream, spot hider, foundation, concealer, lipstick – so that we can ‘look our best’ and ‘shine’, but as you’ve shared in your blog we can look absolutely beautiful WITHOUT any of these layers of makeup.
The relationships we can build with people instantly no matter who they are or where we are is proof we are interconnected and one and the same. People crave wanting to be met for who they are, to be spoken to with care, to be seen, people crave connection and intimacy.
The most powerful and life changing conversations, big and small, I have had with people is when I have been real, no fancy words, simply being me which allows for another to be themselves. It goes the other way round too, when I hear people speak with such honesty, rawness and truth my whole body lights up and I feel safe. Maybe this is not how it should be that we should feel safe to express in the world our rawness and beauty no matter what – but the reality is many people do not. Hence how important it is to let go of guards and protection, and let people in and allow them space.
Gorgeous expose on honest expression and what that can bring Adele! What a lovely experience for you both and an awesome learning too for everyone involved, including us. Thank you for sharing.
connection is indeed about living in a way that is from truth. It is beautiful to realise and see that there are so many ways we can stay in connection. And what a beautiful effect this have on our relationships.
When you are open with people, not trying to be a certain way, and communicate, it opens up the door to truth and honesty and absolute transparency. In that people feel safe.
Nothing beats the rawness and fragility of expressing for real.
I so often feel a disconnection when another meets me ‘professionally’. Their voice changes – as does their posture – as if they have been taught that who they are is not enough and that they must adopt this persona to please the customer. I am often left wondering who they truly are. Maybe it isn’t surprising that the professional approach to customer service assumes the need to correct something as this is often it seems, what the shop assistant is presented about themselves in their training.
I have felt that same reaction when someone starts the heavy-handed sales pitch so many times, and more often than not, I have just wanted to run a mile, or I just say that I am not interested to get them to go away. Usually when someone just starts to approach me in a shop I can feel the pitch coming and will cut them off with an “I’m just browsing”. But what I’m realising is that instead of trying to protect myself, I have the opportunity to connect with this person, who is just doing their job and may not even realise that they are making me feel uncomfortable. It is not about rejecting them, but acknowledging them as a person and connecting with them, even if it is to simply say, “I’m ok, thanks”.
I love this practical example of not holding back Adele and how your honesty allowed the saleslady to drop her ‘professional’ selling front and connect to you personally and give you the space to come to your own purchasing decision.In sharing what is there to be said without judgement we invite a deeper level of intimacy and true communication flows.
What a gorgeous blog Adele. I work as a beauty advisor so I sell women beauty products every day. I always connect to the person first and make sure I know what they want before diving in to explain everything that is available. It is so important to give people what their skin is asking for rather than pushing something onto them because the company want a sale. I find that if I connect to the customer and listen to their needs the sale naturally follows.
It is beautiful to feel your honesty in expressing and the effects this has with others. I also can get confused by sales people when looking for something simple and can relate to this too. A truly helpful assistant is a beautiful experience simple and allows a knowing for oneself and the connection with another is such an important part of this and can add a sparkle to our day.
I love this Adele Leung, thank you. How revealing it is that the basic assumption of your assistant was that you were seeking to fix something. In the work I do, there is a strong sense that we are about fixing people and situations. Maybe we do. Maybe we need to fix the assumption that there is something wrong that we need to fix in the first place. What a lovely example of how being straight and honest with another can break through such preconceptions.
The simplicity of your blog is beautiful Adele. To feel from your body the complication coming in and to honour and express this brought a wonderful opportunity for connection and healing.
It’s interesting that we can put our ‘job’, our ‘role’ or what we have ‘to do’ above our one and only responsibility – to Connect with each other.
It is through connection that we come together on the same wave length so to speak. It proves that we are all one, and diminishes any separation by status, knowledge, consciousness, ideals, religion, or nationality. How ridiculous that we choose to live any other way.
Reading this felt very light and simple and practical in how we can connect to one another. And the fact that you didn’t wavier to express what you felt is inspiring, because how many times do or have we held back saying something in fear of a certain outcome occurring from our expression? What you’ve shared here Adele is huge because it shows what can occur when we say how we feel and how by holding back it creates an unnecessary complication to the otherwise simplicity and joy we can share with another.
Beautiful Adele, by being honest, clear and showing understanding we can break through these norms and bring it back to people – indeed there are opportunities for these evolutionary moments throughout our day if we speak from the awareness of our bodies.
What an amazing world we will live in when everyone connects in truth as a normal way of living! We currently do not live in that world yet but if we connect fully in truth to one person today and two tomorrow, the impossible becomes possible!
Adele, this is really gorgeous to read, ‘Connection is actually very simple. It can happen every moment in our every day, in our commitment to living what we know is true in our body and not hold back in expressing.’ I love that you expressed lovingly what you were feeling to the sales lady and that this allowed for a deeper connection, I know sometimes I hold back from saying what I am feeling, and that if I do express lovingly this feels very supportive and evolving for myself and the other person, i love reading this, it inspires to be true and say what is truly going on rather than worry about offending someone.
Fantastic article, thank you Adele Leung. Honesty Heals, honesty supports connection, honesty allows us to come out of the fog of our own making and feel the light of love and so God.
Feeling great about ourselves, knowing that we celebrate ourselves when we place on make up rather than cover up or ‘correct’ anything is an awesome step towards self love. This lived can only be shared, with others, people sparkle when they are connected with Love, it shines from them. True Beauty shines from within.
I have noticed that I used to keep well away from the make up counter staff. In my perception, too much selling, bright lights and me not feeling good about myself. However ,over recent years I am much more willing to go ahead and say ‘Hi’ to anyone around me. I have even made a choice to go to a make up consultant to talk about the products and be open to connection. And so if they are willing also, we do talk like ‘old friends’ it really feels amazing to connect with the people every day in this way. Holding myself in love has allowed me to offer the same to others and they feel it. And often say ‘Yes’ and so connection is shared.
Beautifully described Adele! To connect to people is wonderful. I know for me that I can become disappointed, frustrated, sad or angry when I feel no connection between me and the other – till I realize that I am the one that maybe did not go for the connection (which is always there) in the way that I did not live it, did not express it. I may react to the other, judge them or just hold back my honesty and understanding. I was not open.
It is so easy to say: they did not …(whatever) – but the only supportive question is for me: what did (or can) I do to support our living connection? Who starts? – That’s my job.
I love the way that the girl working in the shop was able to connect with Adele, who was not being confrontational and just wanted a simple interaction.
The word connection is usually used in a way that does not honour the fact that connecting is a whole body experience.
Thank you Adele and what a glorious example of the importance of not giving up and retreating but honestly gently sharing what we are feeling and how that empowers everyone to drop to a deeper level of honesty and intimacy. It is those split second decisions that are so important, the choice to open up and express what we are feeling at the risk of others reacting is vital and it provides us with the opportunity to break the habitual routines and rigid scripts that keep us cold and distanced from one another. Three cheers for Love and Honesty and three cheers for You!
This whole episode shows clearly how different a daily task can be if we hold in our body the truth of the fact that separation is only an illusion.
This is an inspiring blog on the the importance of speaking the truth of what we are feeling in our body. In this moment what was felt was there to be expressed to another which meant both ladies had a chance to grow and learn. A moment to appreciate the power of connection with ourselves and how this ripples out to others.Thank you Adele.
Adele – wow what a great example you share here of how we are not actually that scared of honesty, in fact we love it because it confirms how we already feel. The honesty you brought to the conversation you had with that saleslady is very inspiring not only to her, but to me as a reader – a beautiful reminder that every moment is an opportunity to claim how we feel, and that by simply expressing in full, we set the tone of a real connection.
There is nothing like the beauty that pours out when we are able to connect deeply to ourselves and to others.
If we walk around waiting for the world to connect to us, we will be waiting a long time, but if we rather choose to open ourselves up it is amazing what we discover.
Wow! Super demonstration of how, with honesty and the openness to express, we can connect with anyone at anytime in any place.
Covering up what is out there is a way of confirming that there is something of us that either we do not accept or that we accept that is unacceptable for others. Thanks to it, it may disappear from other people’s radar but certainly not from ours.
The dialogue with the saleslady made clear an unspoken assumption of the cosmetic industry: women, by and large, walk in looking for corrections. Since, the very same fact that you need a correction means that there is something of yourself you do not like and bothers you, the industry may well conclude that they provide a great service to humanity. Does it really?
To me this is a classic – the difference between being sold something which has the tendency to feel aggressive and imposing and we go into an reaction of shutting down, protecting ourselves and the situation gets complicated. The alternative is to be sharing… when we open up and are inspired by another. Two very different ways to approach the same situation.
This shares with us all to not hold back and to express from the heart. To listen to our bodies and not to overrule those clear messages that says ‘something not feeling so good here’ bringing a ‘stop’ moment to a sales pitch which could of resulted in multi purchases to try and ‘correct/improve’ something which did not even have a floor to start with.
Just loving what you are sharing here Adele. It highlights for me again just how much the promotional sales pitch steps in to sell to the customer as much as possible when at the end of the day all that was required was a simple request for a replacement cream. Just shows how communication, expressing truth can stop any situation in its tracks and create a true connection and an openness to share much more than over the counter ‘make up’. I feel that sales lady will not forget your visit – a shining light in her day.
I had a similar experience recently with a lady selling flowers at a local market; twice the posies had wilted very quickly and that day I was just going to walk past her and reserving my judgment and opinion, keeping it all to myself. Instead I started talking to her and shared what had happened and we ended up having a very honest and amazing conversation and true connection.
We can so easily slip into auto pilot and how we think and are told to do things/our job. So having honest conversations like you share here Adele is very healing for us all as it brings us back to us and away from any should and must haves.
Just another superb example of being honest and open is so healing for all. It may have changed this sales persons whole approach to sales or even her life, just by you not holding back the truth Adele.I find this very inspiring as it really hits home the importance of expressing without holding back.
Very inspiring Adele thank you, it is true, the beauty industry’s entire approach hinges on women feeling inadequate and in need of ‘fixing’. It buys into a long held underlying foundation of the way we feel about ourselves as women… rather than the starting point of being already beautiful by virtue of who we are and our expression of that.
Very revealing that the saleswoman was offering advice on ‘improving’ the appearance of the face by using a plethora of products while at the same time disregarding the known fact that drinking sufficient water during a busy day is an essential foundation for any skin care treatment.
We have settled for a physical beauty that requires constant maintenance and ignored the deep unending fountain of beauty we have inside of us which constantly emanates.
This is a great example exposing how we have settled for reductionism in our society. How this sales lady responded by saying it is impossible for her to remember to hydrate herself because of her busy job – is a classic one. We often say we are too busy to take care of ourselves – as though ‘taking care’ is something secondary, and has been pushed behind the tasks and the chores we have to do in our role in society, and has become something that needs to be consciously activated; as though it’s not possible to take care of ourselves while performing a role of worker/student/mother/wife/father/husband etc. – which is not true. And when we are performing our role, we often become it, and task-orientated, and getting things done becomes our primary, and often only, purpose. So, it is really inspiring to see how you, Adele, didn’t just settle for the role of a shopper and get the product and leave, but instead honoured what you knew to be true as a human being.
In the customer service industry, the care we offer to others in our services is related to the care we first offer to ourselves.
What a gorgeous healing moment that would have been for the customer service lady Adele, as she was allowed to drop the information spiel that would be expected for her to follow, and be seen for who she is and who you are. And open up and share what she liked and recommended.
I also had an experience similar where a doctor asked me ‘what would you like me to fix?’, and in that moment I expressed with absolute clarity that there was nothing that needed or I wanted to fix… it was a great confirmation for me to feel and I felt the doctor relax knowing that he wasn’t going to be bombarded by ‘fix me’.
Delicious Adele! There is a fullness about connecting to others in this way which exposes how empty it can sometimes be to just focus solely on a functional topic that may be being talked about.
Wow Adele, you show me what true connection with one another does bring. Instead of the complication that your visit of the shop started with you brought back a true connection from woman to woman and helped the service lady such that she could let go of her untrue ‘selling face’. How powerful true connection is. With that we build relationships with people that are worth to remind ourselves of and to keep in our hearts.
In the already complicated and cold world we live in, every single opportunity to talk and connect with everyone deeply as a real person is taken with appreciation.
What you offered this sales lady, and in fact us all in sharing your experience, is a perfect example of what connection is, no separation between how you are with yourself as how you are with someone else, very very beautiful to feel Adele, thank you.
Many industries work on the ‘up-sale’ technique, always pushing the buyer ahead of where they are at but its not to support the customer but only the bottom line of the business. This does not feel supportive for the customer at all and only leaves an unpleasant after effect if the customer has fallen for the hook of the up-sale.
As a young lady I have always felt the lovelessness in how the beauty industry works, feeling smashed almost every time I walk away from a cosmetic counter and wondered why I would choose to go back to be treated with disrespect. Now I understand that having such opportunities is to allow me to truly express how I felt and when this connection is lived with myself, it also offers the opportunity to be felt by another. I am saying yes to more opportunities to visit cosmetic and skin care counters now, for they are more opportunities to take responsibility!
The cosmetic industry unfortunately seems to be built on selling ‘corrections’. If women have any insecurities about their appearance there is a plethora of solutions on offer. I love the way you reflected the truth of your natural beauty with the consultant and you were then able to connect more deeply.
The beauty industry exists on a foundation of our collective lack of self-worth.
It’s true Adele, it is when we hold back and not express from what we feel is true from our body that we introduce complication where there otherwise need not be.
The complication is the tension felt within us for not expressing and the tension felt from the other in not receiving the reflection that they know we hold, that is a disconnection in relationship is created.
When we are honest it allows the other to respond in kind. If they do, truth can become available quite easily and quite simply.
If honesty is not a lived way in communication, all it requires is for us to go there and speak honestly, it is very simple and when it is felt in another it will be responded back in honesty. The same goes with truth and love, in understanding always that if a way is not lived for long enough, it requires patience and space for it to be felt.
Aah the simplicity of connection. What a joy to encounter in every moment of our day. Thank you Adele for sharing the beauty of simplicity and living from our own connection which in effect connects us to everyone. Awesome.
There is a true awakening for me in your claiming that there is nothing to correct about yourself Adele. I have always had a list of things I wanted to improve and I realise that this also comes from what I imagine other people see when they look at me. This may or may not be true however it is up to me to appreciate the qualities I bring and the love I now hold for myself. There is a massive beauty industry that is designed to sell to insecurities and if we buy into this, it disconnects us from each other as we put up protection to try not to feel the hurt that feeling less than beautiful brings. This is fundamentally untrue as we all hold deep beauty. Claiming that connection with each other changes everything.
When we hold back the truth of what we feel strongly, things by default, come in between to fill up the space. Many words, traditional greetings or phrases get trotted out and seem on the surface to please our ears. Yet what you show Adele is that all just gets in the way of us actually being real with each other. Far from detracting and hindering others, when we communicate our feelings I can see it actually supports everybody.
What is Connection? Shared so simply and with much clarity in this blog… when we are connected with ourselves, it becomes so easy to connect with others no matter where we find ourselves.
. Honesty and realness cuts through the veneers and protection we can assume is necessary or ‘professional’ etiquette. When we are simply ourselves is it is to connect with each other. I enjoyed you story Adele.
Adele a simple but powerful sharing that to me demonstrates how many people are set on automatic pilot and yet when one person makes the choice to step off the train tracks then it provides a beautiful opportunity for another to also make the same choice and then true connection is possible.
Honesty and transparency, ahh it seems to be a universal remedy for people to see eye to eye.
Well said and I totally agree.
…”with the confirmation that truth is universal.” Truth is most definitely universal and can be felt by all regardless of whether they choose to acknowledge this or not. When I feel truth from another I wat to join them in it, it has a ripple effect. So why would we ever choose to hold back from delivering, sharing and expressing truth always?
An inspiring everyday example of the power of choosing to express truth. Imagine if everyone had just one moment like that every day. The world would become an entirely different place.
Imagine a world where we express truth in all our moments, no perfection sought but “absolute” does feel normal.
We feel it but don’t express it and in doing so miss out on deeper connections with everyone we meet.
What we hold back saying may be exactly what another has been looking for all their lives to hear. Never hold back our reflections for we may never know where our light can reach, even a word or a caring gesture can change lives. It is not only what we think will impact others, but all the moments (even private ones) we are still affecting everyone.
Feeling it is an important first step to become aware of. And acknowledge that feeling. For long I have been good at overriding these feelings taking the words of others as more ‘true’. Now I know that by taking my feelings serious and expressing them I provide an opportunity to indeed deepen the connection. And therefore I am developing connections that are more profound and truthful.
Adele, your blog is a beautiful example of being in the world and expressing honestly how we feel and in that there’s an opportunity for a deeper conversation. After all we all are the ones who change the world.
By this time I had come back to clarity as to what product I would purchase from this shop and no pressure from the saleslady was felt.”” This proves us that when we connect there is simply no need to convey.. Simply be and support eachother and have fun!
Yes Adele, that is so beautiful. It feels like you have stopped her in her tracks.. But actually in a very beautiful way that made her able to express more freely and from her body than she was being told to say or sell. This is a beautiful example of how being just ourselves can change markets by a simple saying. Awesome work Adele.
Gorgeous blog Adele! I too have found that when you allow yourself to actually express what you are feeling, everyone benefits. I love how you simply expressing what you were feeling, allowed the woman at the store to drop the professional “guard” and connect with you as a woman. A great example of how we can keep others out and avoid connection by putting our roles before being ourselves.
It just shows how powerful connection is. That through this one true connection the sales lady was able to drop guard and sales foray and express. It makes me realise how much we are actually going against what is naturally there.
Yes at times product sales information as you experienced Adele, can really feel dis-connected from the person who can either be disengaged, ‘going through the motions’ or over-zealous, to discombobulate us as the customer with too much information. The best way to sell is to develop relationship, not the actual product, as when we feel understood, we trust, and in this make a purchase.
Adele, I love the simplicity of your blog and the beautiful sharing that you had with the make up lady. And it’s so true, we can so easily go into a shop and get caught up in the complication of the details about a product, and before you know it feel overwhelmed with too much information. You have shown here though how simply you were able to come back to what you knew was true for you, and by expressing so openly with this lady, you offered a beautiful opportunity to deepen your connection with each other. Thankyou for sharing this gorgeous moment.
Yep. I had a similar experience, but then with a fitness and health club. I went in this week for the first time and got an appointment with one of the personal trainers. My question was very simple: no bettering my shape, nor getting slim. Just cardio/condition exercises and a bit of muscle maintenance. What followed, I found out later, was a quite intense hour muscle building programme. At the end he said: you start with this and then after a few week you can make it all more intense to more on your muscle mass, stimulate your body differently and improve it. ‘Why improve? And more than this already intense programme? And what about the cardio programme…?’ I found out that my simple question was not that simple for him as it did not fit into his ‘fitness club model’. Just by connecting to him and sharing what I felt was right for my body, a deeper connection enfolded between him and me about the body, its ‘function’ and the need of improvement. Bottomline, connection is about being honest about how you feel and express that.
Feeling the overwhelm or change from the harmony in our body is our divine wisdom knocking on the door saying something is not true here. When we feel and honour that with an honesty as Adele beautifully did we are able to support another to express their feelings.
And on the subject of ‘eye cream’, nothing works likes illusion unveiled. For beauty-full eyes we need to see things as they truly are and not as we may wish them to appear.
Another string of pearls dropped from the lips of one who speaks oceans of truth for us all as a blessing.
Thank you Adele for inviting us into share your experience, an experience of beauty in connection.
It’s such an inspiring and beautiful sharing. One that breaks the way we think we have to be or have been imposed up to be in this world.
Connection is the key to unlocking the wisdom of the Universe that lies deep within us all. To clutter ourselves with streams of information that do not come from this source is a clever way to dodge the enormity of who we truly are. Such enormity is not some lofty, idealised state we need to get to but simply the warmth of our love shared with another, as you have so beautifully given us an example of Adele. From here we naturally go to where we may have previously feared to tread and together we get there. The ‘there’ being the ‘here’ we left long ago.
Awesome comment Liane – we certainly can end up cluttering ourselves with information from a source that only serves to confuse and distract us from what is truly needed. And I love how you have said that the enormity of who we are is not some lofty idealised state, but rather is the simple presence and embracing of the love and warmth that we can share with each other. These are powerful words that show us that grandness is naturally within us.
Very true Liane, if ‘very true’ has more meaning than ‘true’. It’s interesting how you use the word ‘fear’ because once we connect to that ‘knowing source’ all is familiar like a walk in the park. Connect to truth and all is there – The Truth.