I ran out of eye cream recently and so I visited a skincare shop with the very simple intent to replenish a sample I tried before and liked.
The customer service lady, who greeted me very professionally, shared with me all the great qualities of this eye cream, especially emphasising what this product could correct, such as smoothing fine lines and reducing dark circles around the eye area.
As there was more than one eye cream there, she also introduced to me several different products, as well as supplementing products to go with the eye cream, such as an eye serum.
The more she spoke, the more uncomfortable my body felt: the simplicity that I stepped into the shop with felt clouded with a lot of information, and I was about to walk out.
And yet, instead of doing so, I expressed to her very honestly what I felt. Very simply I said, “I always feel confused when many products are being introduced to me at the same time.” She asked, “So what is it that you are looking to correct? I can then introduce a product that fits your needs.”
I replied, “To be honest, I am not looking to correct anything. I actually quite like myself (with a smile) but I have run out of eye cream, so I wanted to buy another tube. I fully understand this is the way the beauty industry expresses, but when you tell me a product can correct something about me, it feels like there is something wrong with me to begin with, but that is not true. I know it is not your fault, but that is how I feel with the way you have professionally shared the product information with me.”
The customer service lady seemed to be taken by surprise as this came out from my mouth, and to my surprise also, what was being said in honesty did not offend her, as from then on our conversation went much deeper than just the products she was selling!
She started conversing with me about my lipstick colour (which I named Violet Flame), said she really liked it and asked me where I got it and if I could recommend it.
She shared how some of the lipsticks she has used before can feel very dry on the lips, and we further chatted about how supporting ourselves in our day by drinking sufficient water, could also hydrate lips and skin. She replied in realness that this proves to be impossible presently, as in her busy job, she simply forgets to!
By this time I had come back to clarity as to what product I would purchase from this shop and no pressure from the saleslady was felt.
We were already communicating like long time friends, and she was demonstrating to me how to apply the product gently on my skin and with what quantity of product to use. She suggested using an upward movement, as the product has a firming effect, to which she added, “Not that you need it!”
I smiled, and not just from my lips, my eyes and my face, but from my heart and my whole body because there was a resounding simplicity and harmony felt within.
Connection is actually very simple. It can happen every moment in our every day, in our commitment to living what we know is true in our body and not hold back in expressing.
There is a deep joy felt when this commitment is reflected back in simple daily encounters, with the confirmation that truth is universal.
By Adele Leung, Creative director/fashion stylist, Hong Kong
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815 thoughts on “What is Connection?”
Wearing make-up or cosmetics to hide behind puts you in the defensive but to use cosmetics to enhance the natural beauty of all you feel is amazing.
Just staying there with her and replying in honesty, brings about such a different interaction and connection. Thankyou.
Expressing honestly from what we are feeling in our body, opens up the possibility of building a deeper connection with another.
Adele I actually get put off by attending beauty places, because of the exact reasons you have specified in this blog. I’ve come to a stage where I now go to a place and like yourself have the intention of what I want and that is it.
Just recently I had a similar experience like you and I knew what facial products needed replacing and they were trying to sell me things I did not want. If I went a head with all the products I could have walked away with probably many unnecessary products. I stayed with myself and kept saying no and, asking why did I need the products they were offering, until they realised something. That connection was it and then their service changed. I got exactly what I needed and they went to the extreme of giving me some freebies too, which I wasn’t expecting.
Staying with yourself at all times is a key to everything and everybody, as in this, it offers others the opportunity to be with themselves too.
People actually do appreciate honest conversation and truly expressing what we feel, sometimes it’s a surprise and kind of wakes people up out of the politeness and formalities that so often prevent us truly connecting to one another.
How true Melinda, quite often sales people forget thst there is a real perpson in front of them. As you say honesty brings us sll back to connection. Truly This is what we all want in our lives.
Melinda how true, people are appreciating us being honest with them and in this it gives people permission to do the same too without perfection. The more open honest conversation we have with one another, the more it affects others too, causing a ripple affect – love it…
How great to wake people up out of the politeness and formalities, and express honestly, ‘Connection is actually very simple. It can happen every moment in our every day, in our commitment to living what we know is true in our body and not hold back in expressing.’
Expressing in our absolute honesty will always brighten our day as well as those we are connecting to.
Love the way you deepened the conversation with this lady Adele. It feels like at the end you were not strangers but very known to each other. Your example shows us how much we can share and learn by just expressing the Truth from our bodies. Simple and very enriching.
It was a beautiful example of how we can deepen, and connect during our day.
Adele. Thank you for a wonderful example of how to transform a conversation so that both people can feel lifted rather than weighed down.
You can really feel with staff in retail, or anywhere for that matter, when it is a sales pitch or when it is genuine. It makes the world of difference when there is true connection, care and genuine. It’s great how you connected with this person ✨