What is Connection?

I ran out of eye cream recently and so I visited a skincare shop with the very simple intent to replenish a sample I tried before and liked.

The customer service lady, who greeted me very professionally, shared with me all the great qualities of this eye cream, especially emphasising what this product could correct, such as smoothing fine lines and reducing dark circles around the eye area.

As there was more than one eye cream there, she also introduced to me several different products, as well as supplementing products to go with the eye cream, such as an eye serum.

The more she spoke, the more uncomfortable my body felt: the simplicity that I stepped into the shop with felt clouded with a lot of information, and I was about to walk out.

And yet, instead of doing so, I expressed to her very honestly what I felt. Very simply I said, “I always feel confused when many products are being introduced to me at the same time.” She asked, “So what is it that you are looking to correct? I can then introduce a product that fits your needs.”

I replied, “To be honest, I am not looking to correct anything. I actually quite like myself (with a smile) but I have run out of eye cream, so I wanted to buy another tube. I fully understand this is the way the beauty industry expresses, but when you tell me a product can correct something about me, it feels like there is something wrong with me to begin with, but that is not true. I know it is not your fault, but that is how I feel with the way you have professionally shared the product information with me.”

The customer service lady seemed to be taken by surprise as this came out from my mouth, and to my surprise also, what was being said in honesty did not offend her, as from then on our conversation went much deeper than just the products she was selling!

She started conversing with me about my lipstick colour (which I named Violet Flame), said she really liked it and asked me where I got it and if I could recommend it.

She shared how some of the lipsticks she has used before can feel very dry on the lips, and we further chatted about how supporting ourselves in our day by drinking sufficient water, could also hydrate lips and skin. She replied in realness that this proves to be impossible presently, as in her busy job, she simply forgets to!

By this time I had come back to clarity as to what product I would purchase from this shop and no pressure from the saleslady was felt.

We were already communicating like long time friends, and she was demonstrating to me how to apply the product gently on my skin and with what quantity of product to use. She suggested using an upward movement, as the product has a firming effect, to which she added, “Not that you need it!”

I smiled, and not just from my lips, my eyes and my face, but from my heart and my whole body because there was a resounding simplicity and harmony felt within.

Connection is actually very simple. It can happen every moment in our every day, in our commitment to living what we know is true in our body and not hold back in expressing.

There is a deep joy felt when this commitment is reflected back in simple daily encounters, with the confirmation that truth is universal.

By Adele Leung, Creative director/fashion stylist, Hong Kong

Further Reading:
Magic of Knowing… We Are All One and The Same On The Inside
How We Start relationships
Communicating with, and Talking to People – No longer Calibrating my Expression

801 thoughts on “What is Connection?

  1. Your experiences at the cosmetic counter Adele just goes to show that a quality of connection between ourselves and another can arise at any time any place to bless us with a transparency and honesty with each other that lays solid foundations for us to learn and grow together.

  2. The opportunity to connect to another is offered to us many times during our day, we simply need to be open to the possibility. If we make the choice to react, ignore and even close ourselves down, we may just miss out on a most enriching connection, one that may make a wonderful difference in our day and in the day of the other person. Life to me, is all about connection and building relationships.

  3. It is such a lovely thing to do, to simply connect with someone when we are out and about, whatever the situation we are in. It is all too easy to see people who are in a sales position as only being that, whereas if we connect with them in the same way we would with someone we knew, it can open so many doors of opportunity for both people.

  4. Adele, I just love this post.. and I’ve been in very similar situations myself too, and what i love is that when you take it away from “the sell” and make it all about connection that the staff feel way more engaged towards you as opposed to selling something and moving on in robotic fashion. And I love the reference you make towards the exchange feeling like long lost friends which it is – the long lost friend called connection : )

  5. It never ceases to amaze me how speaking honestly and openly about how we feel can break down even the toughest barriers at times and often creates an instant connection with the person we are communicating with. And even in the cases that it doesn’t and the other may react, the feeling within of being honest and not holding back is priceless.

  6. A great example of how when we express honestly from what we are feeling in our body, it allows the opportunity to build far deeper connections when we do not hold ourselves back and honour each other by expressing what we have felt.

  7. I had a very simple connection the other day, I needed to have some papers witnessed and the elderly man doing the witnessing was very shaky as he was looking through the papers, when he signed the papers I noticed how flowing his signature was and commented on it, to which he added that he was a retired bank manager and had a lot of practise over the years, the connection was beautiful, just engaging personally with him left a warmth in my body and a joy in my heart.

  8. Adele it is a lovely reminder of how we can connect with absolutely anyone and everyone – why because we are all love and the same on the inside – the more we live this ourselves the more we give others the opportunity and space to do so rather than simply running on autopilot of getting through the day.

  9. All over the world we have skin care counters in department stores and the energy around them is that we are not okay as we are and that we have to improve ourselves. I just love the fact that you said to the sales assistance that you were not wanting to improve anything as this brings a new perspective to her which potentially could be very healing.

  10. It just takes one person to start the connection and generally the other person will jump straight in and join them. We want to be in connection, we want depth and honesty, we just hold back in case it’s not safe or it won’t be reciprocated. From this simple example in the blog, it shows that its worth initiating connection, as we only have time and love to lose by holding back.

  11. You highlight so beautifully Adele, that for true connection to develop and deepen, an openness to honesty and truth is essential. And as you say, this confirms the universality of truth, of who we are and our innate connection to it.

  12. When we connect with another we are then given the opportunity to not only share with honesty but also being open to the opportunity to express what we feel and see how our connection unfolds. We can deepen our understanding of the world when we express how we feel and bring simplicity to the fore.

  13. This blog confirms (1) how usual is to find ourselves in situations where the other person delivers something to us based on the images he/she holds dear, to which we are asked to submit to and, (2) that connection is only possible if one of those in the situations is connected first to him/herself.

  14. Great to highlight the simplicity in how we are able to express when we choose to be honest about what we are truly feeling in our body and not holding back. It opens the space to connect with each other on a far deeper level.

  15. I love how you expressed what you felt without making the other wrong but simply stating the truth of what you felt and how in doing so it opened up a completely different space and conversation. It just shows that in fact we have a choice in each moment to stay with the script of what is there or to step outside it and connect to each other and say how we feel and see where things go from there. It opens up a whole other space.

  16. I love the way you expressed how you felt about the ‘sales pitch’ without putting the other person down. Your way of expressing opened the door to deeper connection.

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