Sharing the Joy

Last year I shared a link to a web page with a very good childhood friend of mine. That web page was full of Before and After photos of students of The Way of The Livingness. These photos show how we were before we met Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, and how we are now. They included a joyful ‘After’ photo of my husband and myself and a ‘Before’ photo of us eating ice cream sundaes and looking about 20 kilos heavier, a lot darker and with puffy glazed eyes… and it does not just stop there. In the Before photo I was 46 and in the After photo I was 57.

I am now 59 and looking and feeling younger, fitter and even more gorgeous and joyful and I can feel there is no end!

Nicola Lessing (Age 57) + Christoph Schnelle (Age 53)
AFTER: Nicola Lessing (Age 57) + Christoph Schnelle (Age 53)

Nicola Lessing (Age 46) + Christoph Schnelle (Age 43)
BEFORE: Nicola Lessing (Age 46) + Christoph Schnelle (Age 43)

There are tons of ‘Before and After’ photos of students of The Way of The Livingness that are quite jaw-droppingly remarkable. The first thing I always notice is the change in the eyes. There is such a joy, light, openness and presence in the After photos compared to the Before ones. In my own Before photo I remember we were on holiday when I was eating that ice cream and I would have thought I was having a great time, but looking at it now, a large part of me was not there at all and I looked really bloated.

There are other very obvious physical differences in many of the photos including some huge examples of weight loss, some scary, hairy men turning into beautiful tender men, some scary, hard women turning into beautiful delicate women and generally people looking much younger, healthy and radiant in the After photos when in fact they are years older.

These are what you might call miraculous transformations of hundreds of people going against the trend we generally see in society. People who have found a true and simple way to live where they not only transform their health and vitality, thereby saving the bankrupt health systems of their countries a fortune, but are also living productive and exemplary lives, engaged in their communities and dedicated to giving back.

A few weeks after I had shared the link to the photo with my friend, I was speaking to her on the phone and she seemed much more distant than normal and a bit angry with me. I asked her if she had enjoyed the photos?

She said “no, not really – I felt you were all gloating.”

It has been quite a revelation for me over the last few years to discover just how furiously people can at times react to my joy.

I realised in hindsight that as a child I was naturally joyful and was always being told off; people found me very annoying. As time went by when everyone kept reacting to me and people didn’t seem to like me, I came to believe there was something wrong with me. It did not occur to me that there was something wrong with everyone else.

So I stopped expressing, stopped being joyful, stopped trusting myself and comfortably joined in with others in being miserable but very functional and pretending I was not as miserable as I was. I became a lot more popular.

All that changed in 2004 when I met Serge Benhayon, a man who does not hold back in living and expressing the pure Love, Joy and Truth that he is (and that we all are at essence).

That meeting re-ignited in me a true connection to myself and through that, to life and all others. It started the return from my After back to my Before… ha ha, as I write this I just realised that really we have the Before and After photos the wrong way around. The graceful transformation that is reflected in these photos is showing a journey of us RETURNING, so really the After photos are us getting closer to who we truly are and were Before we took on all that is not the truth of who we are!

Nicola Lessing (Age 45)
BEFORE: Nicola Lessing (Age 45)

Nicola Lessing (Age 58)
AFTER: Nicola Lessing (Age 58)

However, what prompted me to write this was not about the process of return, which is indeed a whole glorious book of its own, but about the reaction of others to those who choose to return and make truly loving choices.

It seems that when we start to reconnect to and express who we truly are at essence, it can have quite a dramatic effect on others. Some are inspired and it can ignite a process of healing and transformation in them, as happened with me when I met Serge Benhayon. Others can be enraged.

The expression of love is first and foremost energetic, so whilst the photos show a transformation, it is even felt in a dark room with the lights turned out. We are all very sensitive to the vibration of others whether we are aware of it or not.

It can be very confronting to be faced with love (which is an energy) because it exposes all that is not of love (i.e. not of that same energetic quality). This can bring up in us many hurts that we may or may not be ready or willing to deal with. It can also hurt our pride and show us that we are not as truly loving, clever or nice as we like to think we are.

It can also bring up a jealous reaction. Jealousy is very harmful to everyone: the one expressing it, the one receiving it and in fact all of us as it is a direct attack on our very essence – and to add to that, these attacks come from our friends and family, for that is who we all are to each other. Jealousy is well explained at Unimedpedia and in the quote below:

“JEALOUSY is nothing more than self-fury. It is a personal attack on yourself for not doing what you knew had to be done, which is then vented outward to those who are doing what there is to be done.” Serge Benhayon, Esoteric Teachings & Revelations, p 123

Often people are not even aware that they are reacting or allowing jealousy to come through them. For those who are not aware of their sensitivity to energy, the reaction may not even be discernible, whilst for those who are more aware it can feel like a full-frontal assault.

There are others who become so enraged and incensed by the reflection of love that they will go to extreme lengths to distort or destroy the reflection. They might close their eyes and scream at the mirror, spit, rant or throw excrement at it, deny or pretend it is not there or as we have seen throughout history, try to destroy the mirror by burning it, locking it up, putting it under house arrest, stoning it, raping it, crucifying it or in recent times embarking on campaigns of cyber-abuse, cult calling and vilification.

However, you cannot kill love or joy – it is eternal, always there and who we are!

By Nicola Lessing, Aged 59, Goonellabah

Nicola Lessing Nicola Lessing shares that she only has one job ~ it is a 24/7 job, a lot of fun and one that she plans to never retire from. Her job is to be, live and express the love that she is in everything she does!

As the General Manager and Director of both Travelbay ( and In Your Interest Financial Planning (, leader of two voluntary international teams working on Unimed Living, a Justice of the Peace, an active member of the local community and married to the gorgeous Christoph Schnelle she has plenty of opportunity to put this into practice.

Related Reading:
Everyday People in Livingness
Before and After My Self Love Program – Forever Unfolding the Real Me
International Day of Happiness – March 20th 2015 (The Difference between Happiness and Joy)
The Evil Effect of Jealousy

902 thoughts on “Sharing the Joy

  1. Nicola I can really relate to your childhood as I experienced the same reaction from my family too.
    As children I guess we naturally assume there is something wrong with us rather than something wrong with family and society. So we shut down our natural exuberance and that puts us on the path of withdrawal from life and it is so insidious that in my case I didn’t realise this is what I had done to myself. I became effectively a zombie sleep walking through life. Meeting Serge Benhayon and listening to his practical advice was the day I started to allow myself the possibility that life didn’t have to be lived in isolation from the rest of the world.

  2. Nicola – these pictures sure do show so clearly how much lighter, joyful and vital you are today compared to many years ago! And to think that in our society we think that it ‘should’ be the other way around ie as you age you get more worn out and less vital…Thank you for showing that our lives can be filled with the beauty that lies within and that this only gets better with time when we allow it all out.

  3. …… how blessed are we/everyone to be able to see what true JOY looks like, feels like and sounds like. As, one day they may feel brave enough to venture past their hurts and choices to reach within for that ‘JOY’ that equally lies within them.

  4. What a beautiful transformation Nicola – I think anyone who looks brighter, younger, more vital and more beautiful as they get OLDER is going to make other people react – essentially you are taking the opposite trend to the rest of the world – and I think it’s amazing.

      1. and mega massive thanks to Serge Benhayon for showing me the way by his living example and now 2 years later I am even more amazing than when I wrote this!

  5. “There are others who become so enraged and incensed by the reflection of love that they will go to extreme lengths to distort or destroy the reflection.” Love when lived in every move is indestructible, it just keeps expanding.

    1. Thank you, yes it is true I should update the photo for now at 61 there is even more…. seems there is no limit to the love and joy on offer to all of us 🙂 🙂 🙂

  6. Our beauty shines through our eyes but also there is a delicateness in your posture in the after photo that is very powerful to feel, you are a living proof of ‘…you cannot kill love or joy – it is eternal, always there and who we are!’

  7. Nicola love the way you hold everyone equally in your sharing. Joy is natural for us, as much as love. This is not an special skill to develop nor something just for a few gifted but simply who we already are.

  8. There is a huge difference in your eyes in these photos. A wonderful confirmation of the changes you have made in your living way.

    1. Thank you Elaine – you should see me now. At 61 the after you see in these photos has now become the before to where I have evolved. There is no limit to the love and joy available and it just keeps expanding 🙂

  9. I love the reverse of Before and After. So true. We are only returning to what we were to begin with. I really feel the significance of claiming that.

  10. A lot of people and I was one of them won’t call themselves miserable as it seems to be normal to go through life by functioning but when we make the choice to live in a different way, the way of the Livingness we acknowledge, feel and experience there is so much more to life and we open ourselves to be more love and enjoy how we live and yes we all can make that change in our own time when we are ready to feel the truth of how we live and are in the world.

  11. Saying that you are gloating while also looking at the depth of your eyes is an impossibility, the two things just don’t go together. Gloating looks and feels different and in this case, is it possibly more a case of being enraged at one’s own unwillingness and then inability to take the necessary steps to do likewise?

  12. We are fantastic beings that get hit hard by the world, leading to the emergence of patterns we get accustomed to the point that we find them normal even if we feel awful in our own body by such ‘normality’. Most live there. Some step outside of it and change how they feel in their own body. That is clearly reflected by the ‘after’ pictures. The important thing is the realization that we do not get to feel settled in the body by magic but by choices, the very same choices that others may feel they did not make for themselves; hence the fury.

  13. Very inspirational Nicola, no jealousy here:-) I know you now in 2018, 2 years after this article, and another after photo could have been taken, showing an even more beautiful, delicate and powerful you.

    1. Thank you Willem, it is true I keep getting more and more powerful and beautiful every year and even inspire and amaze myself 🙂 – it is a testimony to what is available for all who embrace The Way of The Livingness as presented by Serge Benhayon and many wise people down the ages.

  14. Jealousy is self fury no doubt, towards ourselves as well as towards others when we feel the potential of evolution in others as well as the choice of not taking this potential. It keeps us where we are at in comfort without deepening to where we are ready to be.

  15. It is in your eyes Nicola where we can see the sweetness of you in the after photos. Something that has clearly been there all along, and has now been given permission to come out and be seen. It takes a strong woman to be so openly sweet.

    1. Thank you. That after photo was 3 years ago, so now it is a new before photo as I have another after – being even more gorgeous and powerful 3 years later 🙂

  16. For me it always starts with the eyes… is there that sparkle still, or have they gone dull and glassy? You know when you see the sparkle you are conversing with the essence in someone and that is super precious.

  17. It is very beautiful to open up to the awareness of what is going on behind the scenes for ourselves and others. It allows for a much more loving understanding of the choices we have made and our willingness to make different ones. It also allows for a deep acceptance of the choices another makes.

  18. isn’t it interesting that people can react to the joy you feel Nicola, this shows how far people have strayed from their own natural, joyful state.

    1. Maybe it is because people can feel that they are missing joy that they react to it in others as they don’t want to feel that hurt and the consequence of their choices.

  19. If I look at the two last pictures of you Nicola, in the left one (before) you look like you want to run away and the upper part of your body feels heavy. ‘However, you cannot kill love or joy – it is eternal, always there and who we are!’ And this quote i feel in the right one (after) no way you would run away, it is ‘this is me, joyful and all’ and your body feels the complet opposite very delicate and pure.

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