863 thoughts on “Sharing the Joy”

1. “However, you cannot kill love or joy – it is eternal, always there and who we are!” Knowing the essence of who you are shines the light through your eyes to the Soul.

2. The after photos are a testament for those who choose to embrace what Serge Benhayon presents, and live that in The Way of the Livingness.

3. I had an interesting conversation recently where I was explaining something to someone and my joy at the connection and realisation I had come to felt amazing and the response was that I shouldn’t get ahead of myself and to calm down because life couldn’t be that simple. And in that moment I realised this was the stance my family took, and that it was through jealousy because I was tapping into something they couldn’t feel but knew it was there because it was obviously within me. But because they couldn’t or didn’t have the same access wanted to belittle the experience and try to make is less than the magnificence it was and is. As an adult I can make a different choice to honour what I felt and just be in love with the deeper understanding I have of life and have always had of life.

4. It’s a key point about the change in your eyes Nicola, as there are many before and after photo’s and they usually focus on outward characteristics like weight loss, or a make over, but nothing truly changes until we return to the beautiful essence of who we are, which is often seen and felt very clearly in babies. As you say, it’s the joy and the love, the light within that begins radiating out again. I used to focus on my weight a lot and had ups and downs dependent on how I looked, now that I live from my essence I take care of myself for a different reason, because I love myself and want to care for my body, and because being connected to my essence is an unlimited joy. Achieving a body image/body weight ideal is so empty compared to the joy of being me.

   1. Yes, the love and joy are radiating out of the after photos in this blog, ‘There is such a joy, light, openness and presence in the After photos compared to the Before ones.’

5. This is very true Nicola
   ‘However, you cannot kill love or joy – it is eternal, always there and who we are!’
   And to go deeper you cannot walk away from love, we think we do because as you say
   ‘There are others who become so enraged and incensed by the reflection of love that they will go to extreme lengths to distort or destroy the reflection.”
   At some point in our lives we reach that understanding that there is nowhere to go, nowhere to hide we are impulsed to turn around and retrace our steps back to the universe, back to God. We will all reach this understanding some before others, but it is a law that is irrefutable.

6. Nicola the first impression of the photo of you in the hot pink, feels as though you have been arrested and being sentenced to prison. And you probably felt as though you were in prison, restricted and contracted for not being able to be you. The after photo shows the joy and vibrancy, you look and feel amazing. Far as I’m concerned you continue being what you are, reflecting this to the other men and women, whether of your age or not, is going to aggravate one person or another and let it be.

   I would want to know what is that woman doing that I am not, and unfortunately for many, jealousy is the poison that pollutes and prevents us wanting to know and learn more from that person. It is the king of poisons that often interferes our growth, if we allow it to be…

   1. I did not feel that I had been arrested and sentenced to prison and I did not experience myself as contracted at that time. I am not saying any of these things are not true but it feels somewhat judgemental about how many people on this thread go on about how awful I looked etc. Yes compared to where I am now it is easy to say that, but this is what my reality was then as it is for many people and I was still me inside even if bloated!

7. Great sharing Nicola, and adding to what you bring to all of us is the way you appreciate your divine connection, that bubbling Love you exude from every aspect of your life.

8. “everyone kept reacting to me and people didn’t seem to like me, I came to believe there was something wrong with me. It did not occur to me that there was something wrong with everyone else.” I feel like I’m still working through this, as there can be such a sense of disapproval and subtle form of bullying that goes on to get people (and children) to not be loving, joyful and brightly shining in how amazing they feel. I really enjoyed your straightforward and direct way of expressing, it’s very clear. Thank you Nicola, it’s an important conversation to have.

   1. I agree too Melinda, we always make it about ourselves, that something is wrong with us, when in truth it is the other way round. We need to remind ourselves that people will react when we bring a quality within us out, they are reacting because they are not bringing that quality within themselves out, simple.

9. The eyes say it all ✨ … and smiles 🤗

10. Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon has certainly played a large part in inspiring many people to change their lives and to live fuller, healthier and much more connected lives: “These are what you might call miraculous transformations of hundreds of people going against the trend we generally see in society. People who have found a true and simple way to live where they not only transform their health and vitality, thereby saving the bankrupt health systems of their countries a fortune, but are also living productive and exemplary lives, engaged in their communities and dedicated to giving back.”

11. Nicola I can really relate to your childhood as I experienced the same reaction from my family too.
    As children I guess we naturally assume there is something wrong with us rather than something wrong with family and society. So we shut down our natural exuberance and that puts us on the path of withdrawal from life and it is so insidious that in my case I didn’t realise this is what I had done to myself. I became effectively a zombie sleep walking through life. Meeting Serge Benhayon and listening to his practical advice was the day I started to allow myself the possibility that life didn’t have to be lived in isolation from the rest of the world.
    .

    1. “As time went by when everyone kept reacting to me and people didn’t seem to like me, I came to believe there was something wrong with me. It did not occur to me that there was something wrong with everyone else.” I am still examining life from this different perspective after taking on others abuse or reactions for years, I’m beginning to allow myself to see the truth based on how I feel within myself, and that if the disturbance is outside of me I can leave it there and keep enjoying being me.

12. Nicola – these pictures sure do show so clearly how much lighter, joyful and vital you are today compared to many years ago! And to think that in our society we think that it ‘should’ be the other way around ie as you age you get more worn out and less vital…Thank you for showing that our lives can be filled with the beauty that lies within and that this only gets better with time when we allow it all out.

    1. These pictures, in the blog, capture beautifully the changes you have brought into your daily life, and how you now choose to live.

13. It has been a blessing to know Serge Benhayon, an example and guide to living joyfully and not being affected by others who get bent out of shape and jealous.

14. Nicola you are one sassy, spunky, amazing and very inspiring woman!

15. …… how blessed are we/everyone to be able to see what true JOY looks like, feels like and sounds like. As, one day they may feel brave enough to venture past their hurts and choices to reach within for that ‘JOY’ that equally lies within them.

16. Nicole the light shining from your eyes now is a joy to behold.

17. What a beautiful transformation Nicola – I think anyone who looks brighter, younger, more vital and more beautiful as they get OLDER is going to make other people react – essentially you are taking the opposite trend to the rest of the world – and I think it’s amazing.

    1. Thank you Meg – feels amazing 🙂

       1. and mega massive thanks to Serge Benhayon for showing me the way by his living example and now 2 years later I am even more amazing than when I wrote this!

18. “There are others who become so enraged and incensed by the reflection of love that they will go to extreme lengths to distort or destroy the reflection.” Love when lived in every move is indestructible, it just keeps expanding.

19. Love the second photo, very you, although there is even more you now… brimming over with joy.

    1. Thank you, yes it is true I should update the photo for now at 61 there is even more…. seems there is no limit to the love and joy on offer to all of us 🙂 🙂 🙂

20. Our beauty shines through our eyes but also there is a delicateness in your posture in the after photo that is very powerful to feel, you are a living proof of ‘…you cannot kill love or joy – it is eternal, always there and who we are!’

21. Nicola love the way you hold everyone equally in your sharing. Joy is natural for us, as much as love. This is not an special skill to develop nor something just for a few gifted but simply who we already are.

    1. Yes indeed as Joy is who we are it seems to take a special skill and a lot of work to be anything less!

22. There is a huge difference in your eyes in these photos. A wonderful confirmation of the changes you have made in your living way.

    1. Thank you Elaine – you should see me now. At 61 the after you see in these photos has now become the before to where I have evolved. There is no limit to the love and joy available and it just keeps expanding 🙂

23. I love the reverse of Before and After. So true. We are only returning to what we were to begin with. I really feel the significance of claiming that.

24. A lot of people and I was one of them won’t call themselves miserable as it seems to be normal to go through life by functioning but when we make the choice to live in a different way, the way of the Livingness we acknowledge, feel and experience there is so much more to life and we open ourselves to be more love and enjoy how we live and yes we all can make that change in our own time when we are ready to feel the truth of how we live and are in the world.

25. The outer emanation of an inner connection cannot be denied.

26. Saying that you are gloating while also looking at the depth of your eyes is an impossibility, the two things just don’t go together. Gloating looks and feels different and in this case, is it possibly more a case of being enraged at one’s own unwillingness and then inability to take the necessary steps to do likewise?

27. We are fantastic beings that get hit hard by the world, leading to the emergence of patterns we get accustomed to the point that we find them normal even if we feel awful in our own body by such ‘normality’. Most live there. Some step outside of it and change how they feel in their own body. That is clearly reflected by the ‘after’ pictures. The important thing is the realization that we do not get to feel settled in the body by magic but by choices, the very same choices that others may feel they did not make for themselves; hence the fury.

28. Jealousy is self fury no doubt, towards ourselves as well as towards others when we feel the potential of evolution in others as well as the choice of not taking this potential. It keeps us where we are at in comfort without deepening to where we are ready to be.

29. It is in your eyes Nicola where we can see the sweetness of you in the after photos. Something that has clearly been there all along, and has now been given permission to come out and be seen. It takes a strong woman to be so openly sweet.

    1. Thank you. That after photo was 3 years ago, so now it is a new before photo as I have another after – being even more gorgeous and powerful 3 years later 🙂

30. For me it always starts with the eyes… is there that sparkle still, or have they gone dull and glassy? You know when you see the sparkle you are conversing with the essence in someone and that is super precious.

    1. Yes – the eyes have it and can’t beat the sparkle 🙂

31. It is very beautiful to open up to the awareness of what is going on behind the scenes for ourselves and others. It allows for a much more loving understanding of the choices we have made and our willingness to make different ones. It also allows for a deep acceptance of the choices another makes.

    1. Exactly Leigh, and with this recognition and acceptance, comes a much deeper understanding of the energetic interplay of everything around us

32. isn’t it interesting that people can react to the joy you feel Nicola, this shows how far people have strayed from their own natural, joyful state.

    1. Maybe it is because people can feel that they are missing joy that they react to it in others as they don’t want to feel that hurt and the consequence of their choices.

33. If I look at the two last pictures of you Nicola, in the left one (before) you look like you want to run away and the upper part of your body feels heavy. ‘However, you cannot kill love or joy – it is eternal, always there and who we are!’ And this quote i feel in the right one (after) no way you would run away, it is ‘this is me, joyful and all’ and your body feels the complet opposite very delicate and pure.

34. I love your sense of humour Nicola it always makes me laugh and brightens up the darkest room.

    1. Thank you ~ that is lovely 🙂

35. We can attack or ignore that mirror and reflection of love, but once connected to it I’ve started to see and feel that anything less is just that, less than love. Whereas before I would be sitting in the dark and not knowing any different because there was no comparison until Serge Benhayon came along.

36. When we are met with love we either respond and meet the love or react and reject it.

    1. And this all can happen in a split second. To constantly meet the love another brings, honouring ones self in our entirety is our first meeting of love, a step we cannot miss.

37. Knowing you for years now Nicola I have watched you go from strength to strength – the kind of true strength that is truly inspiring as it it the strength of a living love that holds firm in the delicateness of knowing one’s own essence and being able to hold all others in that very same love and delicateness.

    1. wow that is gorgeous ~ thank you 🙂

       1. And I would love to add that your joy, Nicola, is infectious (in the best possible way)! To hear you describe exactly how you are feeling in your appreciation of others, with every little detail expressed so fully is a joy to witness.

38. Getting attacked with jealousy is not an excuse to indulge in victimhood and avoid committing to life. Getting attacked is actually a confirmation of the fact that we have and are making great changes in our lives and others can feel these changes. It is something to appreciate and celebrate.

    1. Yes we can certainty appreciate and confirm ourselves but not celebrate seeing another equally awesome person being in denial of their own qualities and therefore allowing the force of jealousy to come through them for it cause them great harm as it does to many others.

39. Thank you for continuing to share your joy whatever the reactions of others. It is sad that so many children start to feel that they are not acceptable and something is wrong with them when they express their innate joy and therefore choose for many years to tone it down/completely bury it in order to conform to the accepted ‘norm’. The furious reaction of others can be hard to cope with but when viewed as ‘self-fury’ it allows us to let go and not take any reactions personally and as you so beautifully put it focus on our 24/7 job… to be, live and express the love’ that we are.

40. I just love seeing the life retuning to people in the before and after photos. It seems extraordinary that someone could be physically older, but feeling and looking younger. But these photos are prime examples of this. There is no magic pill or potion just living more and more of who we are. It’s so obvious that this way of living is superbly good for our health and wellbeing.

    1. You could say living more and more who we truly are is the magic!

41. We should be able to publicly celebrate how we feel when we feel great. Yet so many of us don’t feel or look that great anymore, so the people not struggling tend to hide it. I find that I am getting more comfortable with people’s reactions as I know if I am reflecting something that a person is missing in themselves there can be a reaction. Understanding this and knowing this is an energy coming through them certainly helps to observe and not feel cut down.

    1. Yes indeed let’s always express our love and joy regardless of the reactions for it is completely unloving not to do so.

42. We can be convinced of something regarding ourselves and hold an image of how things are. And, if you hold onto such an image, there is nothing that can, at that time, make you revisit the truth of that image. Everything there is either ‘normal’ or justifiable. We just see what we want to see and we are quick to disregard what we do not want to see. Yet, when you do no longer hold onto that image, and go back to a real picture and are ready to see what it offers, what you see is no longer what you saw (tainted by the image you held in your mind) and you realize that the truth was right before your own eyes all along. That is why pictures are the best tool against images… if you are willing to see.

43. Joy is a constant presence from with-in; it is sometimes kept pretty well under lock and key if we react to others reaction of us wanting to share what comes naturally.

44. If you have a lot of love, and many young children do, then it can lead to quite a backlash for them from those around them when those around would rather not be reminded of how they feel.

    1. Yes and isn’t that sad that we are then trained that we should hide or apologise for our love!

45. Nicola, reading this article I can feel how important it is that we read the reaction of others and understand that others maybe jealous and so to not take it personally and not let it stop us expressing our joy.

    1. Keep expressing the love and the joy no matter what, it is the truth of who we are.

46. Living our truth with no compromise is the best medicine we can offer another, whether they receive it with open arms or react it is all the same, as a seed has been planted which in their own time will eventually flourish to reveal the beauty within.

    1. Love it Francisco – brings all the responsibility to us so we can’t blame others, judge them, use that as an excuse. Its just about our relationship and then we send out the ripples.

47. If we have any expectations that people are going to be happy that we heal, we can get really hurt. To break free of chains and heal what is not us and move to a life of more joy means that the people around us have a question come up for themselves, “what about me?” to heal in a family or group of friends, is ultimately to take responsibility and show another way and so it brings up the uncomfortable question of why others are not choosing this as well. Settling for life as it is, is fine if we are all doing it, if someone makes a choice to flourish not function the outcomes of this can bring ripples of change, reaction and upheaval all around. This is why making the choice to flourish must come from within, for the benefit of all, not just ourselves or an idea of what better looks like, it has a deeper purpose, it supports and offers a different reflection for humanity.

48. Your joy is felt in the words you write. Ha ha, how many would even consider that the after shot is the before, for it is a depiction of where we originated from.

    1. Yes I agree Leigh, I had a good giggle when I wrote that because it only came to me as I was writing and then it was so obvious!

49. There is so much joy and beauty that shines from your eyes Nicola, confirming that appreciation is the key to confirming and living more of who we truly are.

    1. Yes I agree Jenny, Nicola is a great example of someone who confirms and appreciates herself and others regularly… and it truly works.

50. It is natural for us to be the love that we innately are, and this includes being joyful, and it feels beautiful when this is shared with and for all.

51. Knowing you Nicola, I know how completely contagious your joy is in the most exquisite way. But ‘your’ joy is ‘my’ joy and such is the love we share that it cannot be owned, only resisted and attacked or embraced and expressed.

    1. Yes, Nicola’s joy is very beautiful. And infectious!

       1. How could I not be in joy Christoph being married to you and have Liane as such a dear friend?

52. So very beautiful and inspiring to feel your joy and enthusiasm Nicola, and your commitment to living life in full.

53. What is beautiful here to read in Serge Benhayon’s words, is how we can transform the fury that comes towards ourselves when we can see what is there to be done and not doing it, in to a confirmation or a celebration of the fact that you did actually know what needed to be done and all you have to do now is apply yourself to it. So, self fury is simply when we are aware but have not acted on that awareness, but it is important to appreciate the fact that you were aware to begin with.

54. I agree there have been huge miraculous changes in many students, how great would it be to have documentation of all of these transformations so there is a record for all to see when they so wish, ‘These are what you might call miraculous transformations of hundreds of people going against the trend we generally see in society.’

55. It’s so easy especially as a child to be confused by how others react to us, as children we are naturally joyful and often others don’t know what to do with that, and so over time we adapt ourselves and in doing so we loose our connection to that joy. We never lose the joy, it is always there and to once again reconnect to that joy is amazing, and very inspiring and often also confronting but it is absolutely worth it as this joy is who we naturally are and the more we live this, the more we inspire both ourselves and others that living this joy is who we all naturally are.

56. A great sharing Nicola.. Beautifully expressed and thought provoking .

57. I love the way you have turned the BEFORE and AFTER impressions around – what is considered to be AFTER is really a BEFORE, before we took on all this ballast, be it in the form of emotions, extra weight or burdens; more often than not, we’ve taken on the whole lot.

58. The differences in the before and after pictures are remarkable, the changes in the way you are living, are having a transformational impact that is huge and clearly visible.

59. More than a year on from this blog and when the “after” photo was taken and being blessed to see Nicola every day, I can attest that she only gets younger, more playful and joyous as she gracefully ages.

    1. It’s true ~ but then again who wouldn’t getting the chance to work and play with the super gorgeous Nikki McKee everyday 🙂 🙂 🙂

60. “I am now 59 and looking and feeling younger, fitter and even more gorgeous and joyful and I can feel there is no end!” The before and after photos say it all Nicola. Keep on shining…..

61. Yes it is funny (not) isn’t it how we can think we really want something but are actually doing everything for the opposite to happen.

62. This is a great sharing on how jealousy can affect others. There is certainly a reaction amongst it – and is shared here – sometimes people don’t even realise that they are jealous. It shows how much we can deny what we truly feel.

    1. It is true people are often not even aware they are expressing the energy of jealousy. Sometimes someone can say something very “nice” and it still comes with the force of jealousy. Unimedpedia Jealousy is a great resource to bring more awareness to the mechanisms of Jealousy: http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia/word-index/unimedpedia-jealousy.html

63. It’s important to not hold back from sharing love and joy, despite the reactions it may bring up in others.

64. I agree sometimes we see reflections of others that just remind us of how we have not chosen so wisely ourselves.

65. I have to say that I sometimes experience jealousy. When this happens, the most freeing thing is being honest and accepting that this is what I’m feeling. Only when I realise this, I’m able to feel how awful it feels in my body and how harmful and nonsense it is. In any case that this happens to me, it is an opportunity to check my connection and revise if I’m being fully who I am or not. Humbleness, honesty and appreciation for my ability to rectify is what takes me back to me, ready to enjoy others essence and also shine who I truly am.

    1. I love the honesty with which you describe your process – nobody could ask for more. Honesty is a wonderful and necessary step on our return to Truth.

66. Every time I look at your before and after photos of you both I am blown away by the enormous change and it continues, you probably need to do another update of the both of you. You both are getting younger and younger by the day and sexier and even more gorgeous…. you both rock

    1. Thank you Mary Louise we feel younger, sexier and more gorgeous every year and you are right are photos keep reflecting that – going against all trends. Huge thanks to Serge Benhayon and The Way of The Livingness for showing us another way 🙂

67. The innocence, sweetness and lightness of true joy seems by its nature to seem small and crushable (if there is such a word :-)). But truth be told, proof is in the pudding as they say, it is seen in the many many cases of before and afters like this wonderful transformation of Nicola, that exposes that true joy is actually one of the strongest and power-fullest reflections of love that can be expressed. Whilst jealousy has its bite, it is insignificant when joy is claimed and lived.

    1. That is so true – Joy like Love is a quality of the Soul and nothing is more powerful. Same applies to Harmony, Stillness and Truth and other 3 qualities.

68. You are an inspiration Nicola in that you do ‘live and express the love that you are in every thing you do’. There is indeed joy, light, openness and presence as is evident in your latest photo.

69. If ever there was a haulting force which stops people from being truly being in limitless potential together it is jealousy. The silly thing is that we are all equal – so jealousy and comparison only have a delaying effect on the case that there will one day be awesome potential.

70. The phrase ‘misery enjoys company’ comes to mind in the sense that it is only through colluding with each other to express far less than the love and joy that we are, can we in any way sustain a form of expression that is in-truth not natural for us to express. And although we have done a fairly good job of making it our ‘norm’ to not live the qualities of our Soul, of which Joy is one, it is not natural for us to do so in any way shape or form and thus needs a constant investment and choice on our part to live otherwise. Does this not explain why we as a humanity are so exhausted? We are constantly fighting our natural expression. We need only look at how we come into this world, as babies and young children to understand how natural it is for us to be the love that we are and that it is only through a social conditioning that we learn to not express it.

    One of my most favourite things about you Nicola is your incredible lightness of being and radiant joy. It has been my astute observation that your delicious laughter and eye twinkle have the power to dissolve any shadow that may cross your path. Quite a threat we could say to the misery we as humans often seek to dwell in.

    1. I find it impossible not to be in Joy around you Liane – just the thought of you already has my whole body smiling 🙂

71. “JEALOUSY is nothing more than self-fury. It is a personal attack on yourself for not doing what you knew had to be done, which is then vented outward to those who are doing what there is to be done.” Serge Benhayon, Esoteric Teachings & Revelations, p 123 – this quote cuts right to the truth of what jealousy is.

72. Wow, you can see it in your eyes Nicola, a vacant, spaced out kind of look in your before photos and a very present look in your after photos, and your eyes are shining.

73. Jealousy is truly a toxic epidemic… but how can we expect less when competition, that petrie dish of dysfunction, is nurtured instead of the connection with our own hearts

74. The joy you live is palpable in this article Nicola, thank you.

75. These changes are amazing Nicola, thats some turn around.
    It is crazy that many of us lose that natural joy as we grow older, and sad that it is often a reaction to the jealously we can feel around us. Children hold naturally that joy, as a society if we are producing children that lose this by the time they are 8/9 then we are doing something seriously needs to be changed. We need to bring our children up in a world were that joy of being ones true self is encouraged and brought out, not hidden away in fear of jealously.

    1. Maybe we need to be brought up by our children rather than the other way around!

       1. Agree I often see that the kids have more wisdom then their parents.

76. “JEALOUSY is nothing more than self-fury. It is a personal attack on yourself for not doing what you knew had to be done, which is then vented outward to those who are doing what there is to be done.” Serge Benhayon, Esoteric Teachings & Revelations, p 123 To understand jealousy in this way gives us a totally different insight into ourselves and shows us that ultimately there is nothing to be jealous of providing we live everything we are with true purpose.

    1. This turns jealousy on its head and right back where it belongs.

77. There is indeed a great divide and vast contrast between filling our lives with desires and pleasures that seemingly give us happiness, tick the boxes and allow there to be satisfaction (limited)… however there is never in such happiness a true settlement for we will never be truly content to live a life less than the true love and joy we innately are and know – such joy is eternal and ever deepening and to live less than this we are forever aware we are selling ourselves short..

78. “However, you cannot kill love or joy – it is eternal, always there and who we are!” This is absolutely true. So there is no need to fear jealous or furious attacks or reactions from others because if we stay steady and true to our connection, it cannot harm us.

79. Jealousy is just that “self-fury” and the ways in which it can be masked can be very subtle or obvious rage. Either way our choices to absorb or just clock these is the difference from living and appreciating the choices we have made or choosing to react and follow the path of doubt and resentment. This is a great understanding of how we can choose to invest in the moment or simply read it for what it is and move on.

80. Awesome to read this blog and see the joy that lives within you and so within us all. Jealousy is very much a reaction to this and keeping us away from the joy that we know, I know this very well myself. But it is just to allow ourselves to feel what is going on and take the necessary steps to evolve me further and not keep hanging in the envy of what another has.

81. I can easily relate to the ‘negative’ reactions of others – mainly those close to me – when I began to make many changes in my life, especially stopping drinking alcohol and making very long overdue changes to my diet. It was a very challenging time but knowing my health was more important than the opinions of others my focus did not waver and it has been so worth it; a very joyful outcome.

    1. It’s good for their health too to have the reflection of you making loving choices.

82. ‘JEALOUSY is nothing more than self-fury. It is a personal attack on yourself for not doing what you knew had to be done’ This is such a huge quote, because I’m sure very few people can say that they ‘like’ being jealous of another, but what if instead of this being a natural occurrence because there’ll ‘always be someone’ to be jealous OF, what if it was down to whether or not WE lived a life of purpose and were maximising what we can bring in our lives, jobs, families etc.

    1. Yes, it brings a whole new level of responsibility because quite often people are not even consciously aware that the harmful and attacking energy of jealousy is coming through them. Quite often when people are saying apparently nice or complimentary things you can still feel the force of jealousy on an energetic level. Therefore, it is up to each of us to not berate ourselves and to take responsibility for our choices.

83. The commonly held belief that we are showing off and gloating has served to keep at bay the reflections of love and joy society today needs to see. It is the expression of the highest love to let someone feel and see the richness and depth of love celebrated by another. Uncomfortable as it may be in the realisation that this love may not have been our choice and day to day way, it is a message that says – ‘you are equal to this love’. ‘You are equal to this grandness. So why are you not choosing it?’

84. I can very much relate to the reaction people have to joy, it is that what makes us doubt our inner essence. But for seeing what it truly is it can only make us more compassionate towards others as we can build a deeper understanding of what is holding them back.

    1. Yes it used to make me doubt and now I understand and see it as a confirmation. Understanding and awareness are wonderful, magical, liberating qualities!

       1. … that is liberating and healing for both the one understanding and the one being understood 🙂

    2. Absolutely – when we can observe that we are saying no to something glorious in order to say yes to what is less.

85. Before and after photos are a great way to track the decisions we have made over time. When someone looks more joyful, younger and more tender/delicate than they did before this goes against all the beliefs we have that the ageing process is all downhill. It is interesting the way your friend reacted. It shows me the societal belief we are all under that you can’t stand out from the crowd or celebrate yourself. In Australia this is called the tall poppy syndrome. This mentality keeps us all small and average rather than the gorgeousness we are.

86. It is indeed confusing whilst being born and growing up, knowing how amazing we are, but seeing the intense reactions and the lack of confirmation in the world. We think it is our fault and that we have done something wrong and we have to change ourselves or do better to prove ourselves, which ultimately we have successfully left the connection with ourselves, that is, we have abandoned ourselves. But this abandonment of ourselves, although it may temporarily or superficially seem to earn us some acceptance from the world, ultimately it is a lost battle, as we would feel the tension and unsettlement of not being who we are. But what if we really observe and do not react to the reaction of others…what if, we are here experiencing this because we are the ones to start this process of re-claiming ourselves through re-loving our bodies, so that everyone else will have the opportunity to see this reflection and choose this for themselves when they are ready.

87. Seeing clearly and having the understanding that when another reacts from jealousy it is because they are choosing not to live what is being reflected; this is helping me enormously to observe. So many times I have lost myself and reacted, but choosing to feel and see with an understanding what is being presented I am finding it easier to stay with myself, revealing that it is loving the self to feel and not react.

    1. Yes it is loving to self and others to understand and see things as they are and with that understanding there is no need to react or for things to be different.

88. I looked at your before pictures and I see humanity and how most people generally look, it is sad but true that people look generally puffy and heavy in their faces and often in their whole bodies – this has become our normal. But it is not, as your after picture shows as do the many others on the link you shared, there is a whole lot of lightness inside and outside of us that we can live as humanity.

    1. Yes I agree Lieke – I have found there is a whole other way to live and express thanks to seeing a living example in Serge Benhayon – and there is no limit to what is available!

89. I love the before and after photos as when you compare the 2 side by side you can see that what shines in the after photo was actually there all along in the before photo, it was simply layered with things like ice-cream and glazed eyes.

    1. Thank you Nikki. Yes we ALL are always there all along it is just a question of how many layers of icecream and other stuff we have piled on top. Now that I have less of that you can see more of me and in fact there is even more of me again now since the after photo is already a few years old.

90. I came to believe there was something wrong with me. It did not occur to me that there was something wrong with everyone else. Ditto, it took quite some time to realise how much love there is within and how much love I am and that we all are.

    1. I can so relate to that – thinking there is something wrong with me. I guess we don’t think there’s something wrong with everyone else because we somehow know that is not true either, we just don’t realise there’s a middle man – aka energy before anything. We are kept in the dark.

       1. Great point at essence we are all one and the word wrong does not even come into it. However, how we (humans) live and express is very often not coming from our essence but as you say being influenced by another energy altogether. It is a great liberation when we start to see that and are then empowered to make a different choice and show a different way.

91. I agree you can tell a lot about someone’s life and vitality and joy by looking into their eyes.

92. Jealousy is without a doubt a by-product of stepping up. The bad news? We’ll all get to feel it at some point. The good news? When we do it means we’re evolving as we should.

93. An interesting take on joy and jealousy and how they play out in relationships. The photos do speak for themselves and it’s always great to have something to physically gauge and also appreciate how much impact our choices and movements make.

94. It’s interesting how you got attacked before for the same thing – being who you truly are in your essence. How an energy is on the constant look out trying to banish what exposes its lies is quite incredible. And it brings me a big smile reading about your 24/7 job – there’s no other way. Thank you for being such an inspiration in my life.

    1. Thank you Fumiyo, I happen to know that you have the same wonderful job as I do and are also an inspiration to me and many others.

95. Returning to read this again, I can feel the absolute wrath that we as humans can live in and the shock that can come our way when we are delivered true energetic love. But shock is what is needed, if we are to begin to let go of wrath and instead replace it with acceptance, understanding, connection and love.

96. Thanks Nicola, essentially your words brought me to responsibility and that we are all equally able to make the same choices. Jealousy is our reaction to knowing that but continuing to avoid our responsibility. We could of course choose to be inspired instead and begin to make those choices that others are, knowing we are equal.

97. Its a shame that we sometimes hold back from sharing our joy because we’ve experienced the negative response of people in the past. Bravo for sharing your joy Nicola. We should all be doing it more.

98. The images of you are quite transformational , as if going along a fork in the road … left or right turn… which one to take? carry on the same way or choose you?… the pictures totally show how you have chosen you!

99. Comparing photos from ten years ago to today, for most people would not necessarily be an uplifting experience…Amazing how in ten years plus, you have not grown older, heavier and more serious….instead you have grown lighter, more lovely and more vital and more in love! A wonderful inspiration and a reminder that our body is a reflection of our choices that we make in life, and so it is a tool or a vehicle for us to use to keep developing deeper levels of love to express all of the time.

    1. It is true the love keeps expanding and now at 60 I am even more gorgeous than ever. I am truly blessed with hugenormous thanks to Serge Benhayon who has shared and inspired so many with so much.

100. Loved rereading this Nicola, I know I have been annoyed by others joy, irritated by the way they are – horrible to admit but its true and i imagine true for most of us. Being inspired is a far more supportive route than spitting and raging! Yet I revert to that in times of exposure of where I may really be at. The last line of your article is perfect as you really can’t kill that which is eternal and it lives equally within us all.

101. It is extraordinary how some people can be inspired to embrace their own healing and transformation when faced with a reflection of love whilst others are deeply confronted and exposed by all they have chosen that is not love and will do whatever they can to stop the reflection. However it is gorgeous that despite this people keep reflecting what is possible knowing one day everyone will choose the former wanting the reflections for themselves too as we are designed to live in the light not the struggle.

102. Serge Benhayon presents that we are multi-dimensional beings and when I look at your before and after of just you, that is so clear that is the case. Your after photo feels so much more bigger, grander, fuller and multi-dimensional. You just glow of yourself.

103. What a joy and inspiration you are Nicola. I love how you deeply appreciate the choices you are now making and the loving true influence you have on others. I very much appreciate the gorgeous, solid, loving woman you are.

104. A very true definition of jealousy presented here – thank you for sharing this experience as it does show how reactive we can be at the expensive of letting more love in.When we are faced with love we feel what is not love. So I have come to know that the more love and appreciation I live, the more I can see others as an inspiration rather than a threat.

105. It is true I made many harmful choices and still do at times as life is a constant learning and evolution. One choice I am glad I have not made and didn’t make in those days either was to be jealous – so I wouldn’t say I was making the same harmful choices. Probably if you saw me now you might even look at my after photo as a before photo as we constantly evolve so it is not about judging ourselves at any point.

106. Thank you Nicola. Your before and after photos tell an amazing story and I am sure they bring up a lot for many people. I have been on the receiving end of some jealousy lately and this blog is a huge support. I can see that your not holding back regardless of what comes at you and the truth is that this is the best way to deal with jealousy as everyone really wants the same thing at their core.

107. Wow Nicola, in your after photo you look much younger and far more vibrant than in your before photo. It goes to show how much we can turn around when we pay attention to the actual quality of how we live our everyday and make changes accordingly.

108. “So I stopped expressing, stopped being joyful, stopped trusting myself and comfortably joined in with others in being miserable but very functional and pretending I was not as miserable as I was. I became a lot more popular.” – this is the sad reality of many people and it is the consumption of foods and drinks to numb this that can be seen in people’s faces and bodies. Food and drink is a great way to turn down the volume of what we are feeling.

109. Living and expressing your natural joy shines out from the more recent photographs. Others may react and stay stuck in their reaction or they may respond and feel inspired to refind the joy that is being shared.

110. The difference in these two photos is amazing you both look more younger, more vital and definitely have more joy now then you had 10 years ago. In a world that fears getting older you two are leading the way and showing us how its done where we can actually get more joyful, more content and more energetic. Very inspiring.

     1. Thank you Samantha. I too am inspired and amazed at the changes which are continuing. Huge thanks to Serge Benhayon for showing us The Way of The Livingness – such a simple, responsible and joyful way of life that is available for everyone.

111. Despite all previous and current protests and reactions to the love that I am or another is, time has a way of wearing down the fighting spirit and eventually I accept what never has gone away, that love and joy remain forever. This is good to remain aware of as we all have the right to choose to resist or accept that love within us that we feel in ourselves or sense being allowed to come through and out of others. The resistance is only short-lived (and short may mean a lifetime/lifetimes) but every time I connect to the love that I am I know that it hasn’t and isn’t going anywhere.

112. Jealousy is such an interesting word, to feel the anger of a friend to a picture shows how strong that emotion can be and how little it actually makes sense. When we see someone doing well we can either choose to celebrate the person and their thriving or we can react to it. The honest part is in admitting which one it is we feel and what is going on for us if we react.

     1. One of the many gifts I have received from Universal Medicine is far greater awareness of when I am reacting. Very often people don’t even realise they are reacting. In this particular case my friend probably thought she was being honest!

113. The thing with joy, is that it is by definition something that you cannot hold back, once expressed and connected to. For it is by definition the expansion and confirmation of love through movement, which in itself creates an emanation and expansion of itself that cannot be held back.

114. The before and afters are a beautiful example of the reflection of true change and beauty, coming from the love that is lived by all that are presented. It can be confronting to see as so many don’t live this way exposing all that is not true about how we live.

115. I love the before and afters as you can really see what is possible. Anyone can make a change in their life and no matter how down and out another may seem, there is always a choice and a call to be more – more of themselves.

116. I only have to look at the photos to see what a transformation you both have made – its truly incredible. And yes jealousy can be huge so often we can try to bring another down because we don’t like the fact that they are reflecting back to us the choices we could have made but choose not to. So it is not them we get frustrated at it is rather our lack of knowing we could have made more loving choices but chose not to.

     1. I am reminded of a presentation from Serge to support us when we feel Jealousy by making the statement that they are where they are at through their choices and I am where I am at because of mine. The quality in which this was delivered, with zero judgement and complete acceptance of self and the other person was huge I felt. Allowing ourselves to be where we are and for others to be where they are opens up space for us to be more equal and less separate.

        1. Well said Leigh, it is amazing the difference life is when we accept where we are and the choices we have made. Only then can we move forward with and from love. Otherwise I find we are playing a catch up game trying to get somewhere instead of starting with the fact that we already are love.

117. Jealously is a poison in our bodies and to others who receive it, honesty and responsibility are the key in order to heal and to connect to the grandness that we haven’t been choosing to connect to.

118. Jealousy has been a historical stifler of love and relationship and there are many examples of it throughout history and into our current times. It is hugely damaging to all of us though we haven’t quite grasped the full effects of this yet.

119. Jealousy is something you have denied yourself not something that isn’t attainable.

     Great definition and one that brings more detail to the word jealousy.

120. Thank you Nicola, you are a bombshell of true beauty and vitality. Thank you for sharing it with the world!

121. Thank you Nicola Lessing for writing an inspiring blog and to be modelling examples of vitality to all ages. To confidently claim who you are and stand in your truth is a marker for many to appreciate and the free choice of every individual to learn.

122. Love the ice cream sundae! It provides such a counterpoint to the faces behind – one alive and glowing, the other a little haunted and heavy. There is a message here, not so hard to read with our eyes.. and a joyful one at that.

123. With the before photos, yes I agree there is a hardness and puffiness and glaze in the eyes. But there is still a sweetness there hiding amongst all that has been layered on top. I know I feel this way about myself when I look back to the me of 3, 5, 10, 15 years ago. I always felt me but what I expressed was a different thing.

124. It is so true what you share here Nicola, the reactions from others especially family can be hard to take especially when we are young. I am a mother of a very amazing child and I know I have been jealous of her. I remember a supervisor once telling me most mothers were jealous of their children as they had so much more than they did comparatively growing up as women. It’s so destructive and felt so easily. Great to expose it and allow all that joy out.

125. I agree, you are more vital and joyful after 11 years!

126. It is really interesting to see the hardness in the before photographs and how much more settled you look in yourself in the after photos. It epitomises to me the tension we can feel in the body when we are not comfortable in our own skin and develop behaviours to cope with that tension. When I consider why people react to another person being comfortable in their own skin, I am reminded that we all know these behaviours create that tension and somewhere inside we all know that they hurt. It is so much easier to blame others for our choices than to take responsibility and be the change we want to see in our lives.

127. I know the feeling of jealousy, both from others and from myself and it’s not pretty. Taking responsibility to be who we innately are is the answer.

128. Very true Nicola …’you cannot kill love or joy – it is eternal, always there and who we are!’ And your pictures are a living proof of coming alive, more vital and joyful than ever before although the pictures are 11 years further in time.

129. Being aware of this without going into judgement or comparison is awesome…”It has been quite a revelation for me over the last few years to discover just how furiously people can at times react to my joy.” It is so freeing to observe a situation, rather than react. Every one of us has felt the sting of jealousy, it is debilitating if we allow it to impact on us. Joy can be something people react to, it reminds us of the potential within but also reflects where we are at with our own relationship with it.

130. I love all your references to joy Nicola. No matter who, what, how when, where, why the joy that is within is eternal and appreciating this in its absoluteness makes me realize that hiding it doesn’t make it disappear. I’m the one that starts to disappear if I deny what is true in my essence. So I’m back embracing all my joy and living this beautiful part of my essence and allowing the not so joyful to express how they do when they are meet with joy. I can’t change another’s response nor should I change me.

131. Nicola, I love how the pictures speak one thousand words! In the more recent pictures, you do look so much younger, more vital and more joyful – if this is aging then it is an advertisement for enjoying aging and looking forwards to it!

132. Learning to be okay with peoples reactions to the love and joy my body can express is something that has immeasurable benefit to life. The more I give myself permission to ‘go for it’ and learn to accept the responses around me the more I get to know and rekindle a relationship with the real and true me.

     1. This is a great point. When we let ourselves be affected by other peoples reactions it takes us away from our relationship with ourselves and the appreciation we have for who we are. It immediately puts a dent in our loveliness and ‘proves’ we are not love after all….to whoever is counting, which can be the other or ourselves.

     2. So true and then any jealous that is noted is a confirmation of the choose made.

133. The light shining through your eyes in the latter photos of you both is just gorgeous, and tells the whole story without a word.

134. It literally is incredible the difference in your before and after photos, its not that you have make up and hair done nicely it is the delicacy in your shoulders and body the loving way you are with your self that shines through.

     1. you should see me now I am well after the after 😉

135. Sometimes our ‘after’ can feel so natural and joyful that we can’t understand why others wouldn’t be so supportive of us, especially those closest who knew us so well in our ‘before’ state; and yet it is actually this understanding which you have eloquently described throughout your blog Nicola that does support us to see and connect to another’s essence – to their ‘after’ too – even if they may not yet be living it themselves. This smashes the picture that anything is or could be taken personally, because we can see that all is about our direct relationship with ourselves and whatever choices we make in life that directly affect us and hence all others. The reflection of others, including Serge Benhayon and your (beauty-full) self Nicola are very much needed in this world, thank God that you are no longer holding YOU back from us, your equal brothers once more.

     1. Thank you Cherise, I love how you describe that we can connect to each other’s afters even if they are not living it yet themselves. The same applies of course for our own after’s which are eternal. I am living a greater “after” this week than I was last let alone when I wrote my blog 🙂

136. What makes the fury, ridicule and out-rage towards those who are expressing in true Joy completely ridiculous is the fact that before them in such a moment is the very opportunity to say ‘yes’ to the love in their life they have been denying for a very long time.

137. Many people take on these beliefs, and then try to live in such a way to prove they are not true, ‘as a child I was naturally joyful and was always being told off; people found me very annoying. As time went by when everyone kept reacting to me and people didn’t seem to like me, I came to believe there was something wrong with me.’ Jealousy is so damaging.

138. The eyes are mind blowing indeed! The difference in the pictures is striking. Yet, what amazes me is the fact that we may be in the Before scenario, have that picture and simply not be able to see what the picture reflects back to us. I have a before picture that is as grim as yours. It says it all. But I did not want to really look at it until very recently.The investment in the situation was so high that there was no way, that a simple picture was going to ruin my plans. In truth, I should had stopped right there and said: you know that this is not it, and simply walk away.

139. Yes the fact is jealousy is so harming for others and equally so for ourselves. Jealousy does no one any good, it only helps us see an area that we could be working on, if we so choose.

140. I love seeing your photos, it is so true how our actual physical appearance transforms through the way we live, when we live with stress it can be seen in our face, and how often do we try to obtain a physical look by diet when if we changed the way we live our body naturally transforms to the weight and look we are naturally supposed to be.

141. How beautifully expressed! I find that to be one of the biggest hurdles, being all of me to people who are used to seeing the me who isn’t so happy with herself. Initially, the thought of it used to frighten me so much, however now I am learning that there’s nothing more supportive than not needing other people and being content with yourself.

142. Thank you Nicola for a beautiful sharing. I agree that we are responsible for what we put into life and what we get out of it! I agree that sometimes those closes to us do get jealous of the changes we’ve made so we need to stand solid in these changes and love will show the way.

143. Great point shared Nicola Lessing. Jealousy is definitely the self- fury that rages within us all when we don’t accept our own choices and the qualities we bring. The photos are simply an example of A and B. What you no longer say yes to and what you said yes to many years ago. A great example for others to be inspired with in this day and age where many of our citizens in this age bracket are already on their way to retirement, waiting to win that lotto ticket to be in retirement or choosing other means of distraction that stops them seeing and feeling their true potential which waits within.

144. Often people cannot handle the before and after photos, seeing how much younger and more beautiful we look and feel (as you both do in your photos) because it high lights their choices and they do not want to feel this, so would rather find some fault in us, then get honest with themselves. Too big an OUCH for them to handle.

     1. I can relate to this and would have once reacted the same. its great that I can and do now choose to shine a light on my ability to appreciate myself and others far more than ever before. as a direct result jealousy is rarely an issue for me these days.

145. The fury of jealousy been directed at you from others because you are reminding them of what they could do but haven’t or didn’t is a shadow on all of society and undermines the potential of far too many of us. Vice versa, the fury of jealousy that we feel for another always needs to be honestly observed, learnt from and if at all possible, turned around to appreciation and inspiration.

146. It is sad that another cannot acknowledge what is there to be appreciated in your after photos Nicola. There is no denying that there is a joy there that cannot but shine out and be shared.

147. We have looked at the true meaning of Jealousy it’s worth looking at Joy which most would describe as being happy which can be a temporary elation, so to quote Serge Benhayon ” True Joy is never found in anything outside of oneself. It is a livingness which springs from a true body of Love that, when meeting the divine Essence of another, expresses outwardly in all its glory and light. It is the expression of the Love, Stillness, Truth and Harmony residing in the inner-heart of every human being, a never-ending confirmation of who we truly are. – See more at: http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia/word-index/unimedpedia-joy.html
     I love this meaning and I felt it was relevant to read it again, as a truth of the joy we all are.

148. “JEALOUSY is nothing more than self-fury. It is a personal attack on yourself for not doing what you knew had to be done, which is then vented outward to those who are doing what there is to be done.” Jealousy is dangerous because it becomes a blame game, which is an avoidance of taking responsibility for why one has not done what they knew needed to be done to begin with.

     1. Well said Kylie!

149. It is great to understand the basis of jealousy and to know that never is it personal to us, but rather an externalisation of another’s inner fury over their own choices.

150. Gorgeous Mary, so beautifully said 🙂

151. Thank you Nicola for sharing this in such an understanding way of what we and others can do when presented with another making different choices that are possibly more loving and delevloping that love deeper as apposed to maintaining the game of playing small.

152. Haha, love your comment Mary. And you’re right, it is work – we must take a good look at ourselves and realise there is some healing to be done…changing of behaviours…increasing (self) awareness and so on. But what wonderful work it is.

153. When we return to our essence, who we truly are, our glory, our joy and love it can either inspire people or bring up a reaction; maybe because of jealousy or because, as you say Nicola, ‘ it exposes all that is not of love (i.e. not of that same energetic quality). This can bring up in us many hurts that we may or may not be ready or willing to deal with. It can also hurt our pride and show us that we are not as truly loving, clever or nice as we like to think we are.’

154. A beautiful explanation of how there is more to be felt than seen – and why people behave the way they do in reaction to how we live. Jealousy from another is actually a confirmation of how you are choosing to live/love. Nasty to feel, but confirming at the same time.

155. I love your truthful play on words here Nicola, haha, ‘The graceful transformation that is reflected in these photos is showing a journey of us RETURNING, so really the After photos are us getting closer to who we truly are and were Before we took on all that is not the truth of who we are!’

     1. Yes, it really turns time on its head when you realise that the future is us returning to a glory we were so the future is us returning to our origins and not going forward or out as we imagine. Same with up and down not being the way we perceive with your up in UK being my down in Aus and again with speed in that stillness is a very fast movement. Reading Serge Benhayon’s book Time Space and all of us is a real eye opener.

156. “The expression of love is first and foremost energetic” This is so true Nicola, and it shows the truth in how the most loving thing we can do for another is to just be in connection to who truly are and express that in every way possible, Thank you.

157. Nicola, I’ve been pondering on your blog since it was published about a month ago, and my reaction to it. Thank you for showing that when we allow ourselves to be seen for who we truly are, everyone gets to feel the truth of where they’re at too, and an opportunity to make choices to live more of themselves – and deal with anything that is getting in the way of that.

158. It’s very interesting to see how our choices are so evidently reflected in our eyes and faces and how we can change those choices too.

     1. Yes, a lot cheaper, healthier and more fun than Botox or surgery!

159. There is indeed a trend reflected in these studies… And that is people simply being responsible for the way they live their lives, for their behaviour, understanding that everything that one does affects everyone around us, that we are despite enormous trends to the contrary, never isolated, and that we are always connected.

160. It is so simple and yet completely life changing to see another who is living in their Truth and not afraid to hold back in any way. It is a joy to be inspired and to inspire others.

161. That is so true and powerfull – love can not be killed. As love is love. Simple so. I am inspired by your blog as it shows how we can love all people even if they attack us with jealousy. Love is love, and once you stay connected and feel what is underneath the love will extend and expand – simply so, straight through the jealousy one is experiencing.

162. We were quite normal then. What is amazing is how heavy ‘being normal’ now feels.

163. When taking a step to live and express in full, people can choose to be inspired or react on whatever grounds, and I can feel how I have allowed myself to be affected by that, and what gets in the way for me is this what seems like a fine balance between knowing my imperfection and shortfalls and being humble about it, and self-doubt. I have been feeling this lately and the thing is this itself is a trap already because it has robbed me of a great sense of joy I was feeling prior.

     1. One of the many joys in my life is knowing you Fumiyo. I am surprised to hear you have imperfections I always thought you were perfect (ha ha). I expect if you do have imperfections they are not actually yours – you don’t own them. It seems that personalising things and giving ourselves a hard time is a sure way to supress the joy we naturally are. Sometimes our imperfections are just perfect until such time as they are not!

164. Such a beautiful natural reflection of joy you emanate to the world.

165. I too was a very joyous child but stopped expressing the joy I felt in order to fit in and ‘comfortably join in with others’. By not expressing, I lost touch with joy, and life became a difficult journey chasing a poor substitute – ‘happiness’. With the support of Serge Benhayon’s reflection I am reconnecting to the joy which never went away – I just stopped connecting with it.

166. Nicola, one thing that struck me when I looked at your After photo at 58yrs was your chest which is emanating a delicate beauty which we don’t feel in the Before photo. Over the years, I have seen you drop that hardness and flower into a beautiful woman who is much more the joyous child than the serious woman you were becoming. It can bring up stuff for people as it reflects to them the choices they have made, particularly when they have know us for a long time and see the different road we have taken. However, many people do get inspired by our reflection and start to change their lives and if we allow ourselves to shine we convey the message that joy is within all of us and that we just need to let go of what is not that.

     1. Thank you Sandra. Funny I never considered myself a serious woman before as I always had a great sense of humour or at least I thought I was funny. In many ways I have actually grown up and become much more of a woman and certainly more serious and I am now quite seriously playful 😉

        1. ps: I certainly do own up to having connected to my power and fragility – I was certainly not in touch with my fragility and delicateness before and oh yes I can accept the beauty too 🙂

167. My key experience is that the difference between progressing and not progressing is how often we can say “yes, you are right” when we know the other is right. Each time we choose our pride instead, everything is delayed.

     1. I just heard a beautiful quote from Serge Benhayon: “Words of truth and wisdom are like a bath from Heaven.” so even better than yes you right is “yes that is true”. There is so much Joy in Truth ~ joy and truth are after all siblings and from the same Soul family together with love, harmony and stillness.

168. How inspiring it is to visit the ‘Before and After’ photo page on unimedliving.com. The changes in students of The Way of The Livingness are undeniable.

169. Reading this blog and writing the comments has given me the opportunity to heal and have a conversation about something that I have been struggling with for the last two years, that is, people’s reactions to me. I have allowed these reactions to stifle my expression of who I am and really, unlike you, not being my joyful self has not made me more popular. It has made me miserable. Addressing the jealousy that I have felt myself, and allowing myself to recieve the support to not react to other people’s jealousy of me has been deeply healing and I thank you Nicola for writing this blog and the blog team for publishing it. Amazing work. Jealousy and the self anger that it stems from is a poison best not consumed, for it will consume you faster than a raging tsunami.

170. I was going to say the same thing. Sometimes I have been aware of the jealousy of others directed at me and at other times I had to be honest and say that I have been jealous of another – or more truthfully, I have felt angry with myself for not getting on with doing what I see another choosing to do. It is this anger with ourselves that we can take responsibility for and heal, or try to discharge by directing at another, blaming them, putting them down etc. Jealousy can be felt, even if you try to “speak nicely” it will come through energetically.

171. Dear Nicola, thankyou for sharing this story. What is helpful for me is to read that you have shone much more brightly and over come being affected by people that are jealous or annoyed with you for being the brilliant, radiant and loving you.

     1. Thank you Marianna. These days I am much, much more aware of jealousy that is directed at me and much, much less affected. The more aware I become the more understanding I have and the less I take it personally. In fact, I would not be doing my job (which is to be and reflect all that I am) if people who are choosing to hold themselves back were not being jealous. I simply take it as confirmation and feel the joy of being of service!!!

172. “However, you cannot kill love or joy – it is eternal, always there and who we are”!
     Indeed Nicola you cannot kill love and joy; our responsibility is to feel and share who we truly are, as you do.

173. Who looks better, younger, thinner, more vital, more healthy and generally more gorgeous 10 years on? Pretty much no one! You are both amazing and it’s undeniable proof that you’re doing something very right 🙂

174. Nothing is worse than watching someone else in joy, especially if you are determined to be in misery.

     1. ha ha 🙂 🙂 ❤

175. Thank you for reminding me that we don’t need to apologise for being the love we are Nicola. The changes in your before and after photos are incredible and a great testament to all you share here.

176. Thank you for sharing the joy Nicola, your photos are an amazing reflection of your livingness. There will always be people out there who will react in jealousy and there are those of us who will be uplifted and inspired by your reflection. I guess all we can do is continue to shine with the understanding not everyone is ready to express from their essence.

     1. Thank you Margaret. Joy is who we are and it is a joy to express our joy simply because that is who we are. Who we are at essence does not impose, require or need any response from others, it is enough unto itself…. of course it loves to share but there is no need or judgement.

177. Something that I have tripped up with is celebrating myself and saying Yes, I am awesome, nothing to do with not being humble, because we are all equally awesome. I do feel the joy of this and avowing of our divinity and yet I squash it sometimes because of what is happening all around me and not wanting to be singled out….. I still am practicing to make normal life a celebration, appreciation and confirmation of all we are and enjoy every aspect of it. Joy is the real deal though, i can feel it and I am working on it.

     1. We don’t need to “work” on Joy because it is a true expression of our essence. Therefore, when we stop doing, trying and working on things and just be, we are already that.

178. Joy can be normal, I have felt joy, and live it but I know it is challenging of others to feel that it can be lived in an everyday sort of way. But do we then collude, and say ahhh life’s tough…etc…what reflection is offered then? To live with joy it is necessary to feel it reflected, someone offered me this gift and I responded and so now I share this gift with others myself.

179. Nicola I love the way you have embraced the changes that you have made as a return to the joyful playful little girl, the innocence and love that was always there waiting. This choice to be love is available to us all, and the fork in the road can be very confronting for others when a moment of jealousy rears its ugly head.
     Thank you for your inspiring blog, and your inspiring relationship with Christoph too.

180. “However, you cannot kill love or joy – it is eternal, always there and who we are!” This is so true Nicola….you are a very inspiring woman who grows continually more beautiful as you return to your “before”….. truly embracing the essence of who you are.

181. It is all about self responsibility and that there is never any space for us to blame someone else for how we feel.

182. Yes, and that is part of it. We hurt both parties when we try to avoid the squirming and the rage.

183. Great observations on jealousy, Nicola. It smarts when we know that what is behind our jealousy is the realisation that we are frustrated with ourselves for not making the choices that were available to us that another did choose to make. A brilliant acknowledgement that our life reflects our choices and that the responsibility for these choices lies with us and us alone. Jealousy is just a projection of that frustration onto another in order to avoid confronting the truth about ourselves.

184. This is very interesting Nicola, ‘I realised in hindsight that as a child I was naturally joyful and was always being told off; people found me very annoying.’ I see this with children how they often are told off – told not to be silly, told to conform, this happens strongly in schools where children are told to be quiet, sit in a certain way and be a certain way and so their natural joyful expression can be squashed rather than encouraged.

185. It’s so obvious the incredible changes you have made just by looking at your before and after photos Nicola, the before is withdrawn from life and others and there is a feeling of back off and the after is totally in life feet, heart and all and very much welcoming and open to the world. I know which one inspires constantly!

     1. Hi Aimee, it is interesting you say that in the before photo I was withdrawn from life and gave out a feeling of back off. However, by normal standards I was very involved in life, a successful business woman and a very caring person, but I was not living in connection to my essence. There is no limit to how much we can evolve and return to living and expressing our true selves. Perhaps if you look again in a few years as I continue to return and deepen my connection you will say the same thing about what you now are calling my after. In fact, I have already evolved from the photo you see on this page 🙂

186. The incredible thing I have noticed about before and after pictures of students of the Way of the Livingness is they keep looking better! More vibrant and more sparkling. It seems the evolution continues.

187. Why is it that we react when we see someone with so much joy and all kind of crazy reactions come up? The normal way of living human life alwplows us to compile huge amounts of energy and leypayers onto ourselves, and for a while if we go unchecked we lose ourselves and forget who we truly are. It causes quite a stir in us to see someone with so many less layers, because what we have come to know as normal and has worked for us has been clearly opposed. But all is not to worry for we are a natural spark of light innately so and at any time have a choice to live truth or to not.

188. Thanks Nicola, how the work of one man Serge Benhayon is responsible for so many before and afters is incredible. I’d like to thank Serge Myself, for presenting what we always knew but wouldn’t stand up and live for ourselves. I have often thought everything I knew before Universal Medicine I still know today but it is thanks to Serge Benhayon I have realised how important it is to release and live truth on a daily basis!

189. I love to feel the evolvement of you and your life in your sharing. Letting go of ideals and beliefs brings forth the truth and as such the joy. You are a living example of this natural unfoldment.

190. What often keeps us in the suffering is the constant confirmation from those around us that they are suffering too. The moment someone breaks this silent contract, we are exposed for being shown that our suffering is more often than not by choice. That is not an easy pill to swallow.

191. When I first met Serge Benhayon in 2005, I felt something I had not felt before. I didn’t understand much of what was being said but I simply knew I had finally come across someone who knew what he was talking about because I could feel it in the quality of his livingness. I was deeply inspired. I wanted to know more and understand for myself what Serge was saying and to live it in my own life so I kept returning.

192. I agree we are all absolute love, truth, joy, stillness and harmony at our essence and it is our responsibility to express all that we are and as I reawaken this way of being and living I am beginning to realise that there is so much there to be expressed and that it is possible as I learn to surrender and get myself out of the way.

193. I can remember as a child expressing joy and getting told off for expressing it. It crushed me as I was not expecting it and thought I had done something terribly wrong. I know now that in that moment although I withdrew I had done nothing wrong. I had found the situation funny and couldn’t hold back from naturally expressing what was there to be expressed. It reminds me that as a parent whenever I feel agitated because of the choices I have made, it is my responsibility to address it within and not to react or blame my children for it.

194. And what I love is that even though people have reacted to all that you shine, Nicola, to do anything else makes absolutely obviously no sense to you whatsoever. Super cool.

195. jealousy does indeed rear its ugly head throughout our society… How can it not when competition rules from kindergarten on… And yet it is also very lovely, when the connections are made, to be able to feel that sense of honouring what someone has done with their life

196. We can’t let another’s jealousy stop us from being the joy that we are – the world needs and is hungry for the inspiration that we provide as it’s letting them know that this is their natural way also.

197. The love, joy and truth that emanates from you Nicola is palpable, gorgeous and so inspiring;
     “I am now 59 and looking and feeling younger, fitter and even more gorgeous and joyful and I can feel there is no end!”
     Thank you for the beautiful divine reflection that you are.

198. The jealousy and fury are a dead give away for the fact that we know we are love, how and what there is to be done and know that we are not choosing it – no matter how unaware we claim to be.

199. Yes, no matter how many reactions I’ve had when blessed by expressions and reflections of true love in others, love is always there to return to. It is unwavering. I can choose to feel its beauty and feel humble or continue to react and eventually realise there is no purpose in reacting. No matter how long the delay love is always there.

200. Your beauty and Joy stands out a million miles from the screen as i open this blog Nicola and Christoff and your joy is infectious. What an enormous change in you both as a result of the reflection and purpose with Universal Medicine. A real and obvious appreciation of all you are thank you for sharing this.

201. I know a lot of people in their 50s who are thinking of winding down, slowing down because they get tired more often. It is quite a feeling to go into your late 50s and to have an amazing amount of energy and no feeling at all to slow down.

202. It is an upside down world that we can’t be pleased by another’s wise choices instead spitting bile back. “Showing that jealousy is nothing more than self-fury. It is a personal attack on yourself for not doing what you knew had to be done, which is then vented outward to those who are doing what there is to be done.” Serge Benhayon, Esoteric Teachings & Revelations, p 123

203. It is all in the eyes – your photos say it all Nicola! You may have a few more wrinkles in your more recent photo (barely though!), but the vitality and love and joy that are radiating out of you actually make you look younger than in the older photos! Love it! And so wonderful to feel your appreciation on all levels, of your choices today, of where you are today, of what you have embraced!

     1. Yes, it is very visible in the eyes and the vitality is then in the whole body! It is just wonderful.

204. It feels quite an uncomfortable journey to feel that jealousy is nothing more than self-fury. By understanding it is a personal attack on ourselves for not doing what we knew had to be done, and vent it outward to those around us that have, really feels we attack ourselves twice with a double hit. I want to thank Serge Benhayon for this wisdom and Nicola for bringing it more to our attention with great clarity to appreciate this destructive pattern of behavior is not us, simply how we have chosen to behave.

205. And there is much to appreciate within the student body of Universal Medicine. So many truly amazing people and stories like Nicola’s.

206. Over the last few years I have been attending Universal Medicine events and presentations my whole outlook on life has changed I have become more confident, loving and more aware of what is going on. It has been interesting to see in that time how family and friends have reacted, some have shared my joy and been inspired and some have been jealous as it highlighted their unloving ways. Either way I am learning to keep shining no matter what even if at times it can feel hard.

207. “JEALOUSY is nothing more than self-fury. It is a personal attack on yourself for not doing what you knew had to be done, which is then vented outward to those who are doing what there is to be done.” These words are just gem, when we really understand what jealousy is and we appreciate self, then it is easy to dissolve.

208. Joy is there for everyone to feel, more and more people have been inspired by my life and choices i have been making. They love talking to me and wanting me to share about my changes.

209. Bring it on Nicola, your beautiful joyfull picture should be shared everywhere. there is so much to celebrate in the reflection you offer.

210. ‘… You cannot kill love or joy. It is eternal. Always there, It is who we are.’ I love this and so true. People may react against those who emanate love and joy but it cannot be destroyed. It is deep inside every one of us – our true essence.

211. Joy is there for us to feel everyday.

212. I have been so surprised by people’s reactions to my more and more lovely life; especially those who have known me for a long time and understood how unhappy I was for so long.

     With the honest and very common sense support of Universal Medicine I have been learning to take much more responsibility in all areas of my life. For starters I take way better care of myself, long term depression and sorrow are in the past, I love my body, I have a loving & well suited partner & home & I love my work (all firsts for me!)…

     …and yet, not only can they not see (or accept) all this but there is much suspicion and even anger expressed toward me. I know they love me; I feel it comes from pre-existing hurts & trust issues and also from that painful feeling when they get a nudge from inside them (in response to seeing the fruits of my hard work) that ‘we may be responsible for much of our unhappy situation’; when this comes it can be easier to say “that must be a trick”, or “that can’t be real” or best yet “it must be the effect of a cult or a guru”…

     1. wow it is quite stunningly sad that people can be so against you turning around your life like this Jo. Maybe they are not ready or willing to face the truth of their own life or to make the loving choices that could transform their life. Also sometimes people have followed so many false paths and promises over their many life times and been so repeatedly hurt and disappointed that when the real thing comes along they reject it as just another con and rather stay in their agonising so called comfort than step out into the sun and open up to true love again. The only way to regain the trust is for us to consistently and unwavering live and show there is another way and then it is up to others if they want to choose that for themselves or not. Seeing Serge Benhayon consistently and lovingly reflect a truly loving way has totally transformed my life beyond anything I thought possible and there is so very much more!

213. These photos are amazing Nicola. When I stop to feel the commitment you and Christoph have made to take more responsibility for who you are and what you can offer humanity as a way of living, you show what is possible for all. You are both an inspiration to me.

214. Observing another shining in a joy I cannot feel can arouse feelings of wanting to pull them back down to my level so that I do not have to face the responsibility of my choices, or it can inspire me to more loving choices for myself, one of them being to become aware of where those jealous resentful thoughts come from, and feel how damaging they are for myself and everyone else. As soon as that horrible energy is felt and seen for what it is, then I can make the change and begin to reclaim myself and find my true joy.

215. It is a sad reflection of humanity when we react to love, joy and truth with such jealousy and abuse… we attempt to destroy the very things we crave the most and that will support us to be in our own loving truth and joy. As you say Nicola… love and joy cannot be destroyed – they are eternal.

216. It is beautiful to realise the joy of true responsibility and what that brings.

     1. To me, true responsibility is to make the choice to not be affected by the reactions of another, to remain solid in the love that is our eternal living Essence.

217. Gorgeous Nicola – I just clicked on a key and there you were enlarged and shining out at me on my screen – reminding me of all that I have returned to as I come back to who I truly am. It’s deeply inspiring when we appreciate ‘The graceful transformation that is reflected in these photos is showing a journey of us RETURNING, so really the After photos are us getting closer to who we truly are and were Before we took on all that is not the truth of who we are!’ Thank you so much for your inspired wisdom.

218. Great point Mary! When ever we loose that place we need to ask ourselves, where did it go? I for one accept the lesser state far too often and don’t question that this is not my normal, but that I have a birth right to feel love and joy all of the time.

219. ‘Often people are not even aware that they are reacting or allowing jealousy to come through them.’ Before I became a student of The Way of Livingness this was definitely true in my case and I would have said that jealousy didn’t figure in my life. Since then I realise just how much this does figure. “JEALOUSY is nothing more than self-fury. It is a personal attack on yourself for not doing what you knew had to be done, which is then vented outward to those who are doing what there is to be done.” Serge Benhayon, Esoteric Teachings & Revelations, p 123″… appreciating myself and others and what they bring is an amazing antidote to the problem!

     1. Reading this blog gave me the opportunity to reflect on exactly what you said Rachel. It can be an inspiration to live the way another has shown and to appreciate the choices that they themselves would have had to make in order to do this. Appreciating too that each of us has the opportunity in every moment to make the choice to be more loving and that the opportunity to make this choice is never, never closed to us…. I just want to read the blog again!

220. Serge Benhayon has indeed made living with joy the new ‘normal’!

     1. Hear hear, Serge Benhayon has reminded us that living joyfully and vitally is normal – somehow along the line we settled for much less.

221. Thank you, Nicola, for bringing this subject to the table. I have experienced both sides of the coin, in being jealous of another’s joy and of being envied for my own expressions of joy as a child. I understand now that feeling the joy of true love is so confronting, because it is what we all desperately long for, and yet it exposes the hurts we stubbornly identify with that keep us separate from all that is there waiting for us.

222. It is so remarkable to read and see of these changes in your and other peoples lives, and to understand that they inspired by one person who has never told people what to do. Serge has a commitment to truth and supporting humanity.

223. Appreciation is a key ingredient for celebrating another’s joy. If we have not made those decisions for ourselves it is easy for jealousy to creep in and consume us. We are all reflections for each other to see the choices that we have perhaps not made for ourselves and when we can appreciate the person and the reflection that they offer than we have the opportunity to start to make those decisions for ourselves.

     1. Appreciation is the antidote to jealousy.

224. Deciding to stop expressing ourselves is such a common reaction to another’s jealousy. It goes to show just how damaging it can be to attack someone else for the things that we have not chosen for ourselves.

     1. Thank you for making this so simple – I.e “a decision to stop reacting to another’s jealousy”!! When we live with the true basis of love, that is, what we feel in our bodies, there can be nothing that anyone does that can disturb that inner quaility – unless of course we decide to allow it. This sounds like a good theme to live with in my day today.

225. Your before and after photos are amazing to behold Nicola. In your after, your insides are shining which means your outer is shining too. It has to come from inside us – to reconnect to our inner heart.

226. When we see other people doing better, much better than us, we have a choice of either responding with fury, whether expressed or not, or to see if we could do just as well.

227. What a transformation. From beautiful and gorgeous to something much bigger.

     1. That is the joy of these photos, the people were always gorgeous, but now there’s much more, a livingness and openness to others too.

     2. So divinely said Christoph. Nicola has always been beautiful and gorgeous now she is emanating that and her fullness all in one.

228. The ‘Before and After Photographs’ of the Universal Medicine Students true, factual documentation and a visual portrait that show not just the radical physical changes that can occur from making the lifestyle choices presented by Universal Medicine but the lived quality and vitality that the students present.

229. You definitely look younger, brighter and more joyful in the after pics. A testament to the way you are choosing to live now. Very inspiring.

     1. Another testament for The Way of the Livingness. All the before and after photos are amazing.

230. Meeting another is joy. So when I react to someone in joy it simply means that I refuse to meet this person.

     1. Yes, because it is too painful if I met that person as it would be too confronting.

231. “However, you cannot kill love or joy – it is eternal, always there and who we are!” This is huge as so often I have given up believing there is no point to being who I am and can see by how the world is that this is the case for so many. Living together and appreciating and valuing our natural joy and love in ourselves and others brings a stop to this as we all have a part to play so it makes more sense to support ourselves to bring this out. The before and after photos show clearly the importance of constantly choosing love and joy in our lives – thank you Nicola.

232. Yes, you can see a great difference in the eyes of these before and after photos, but also in the smile – the mouth takes on a certain shape when we use our muscles to widen our lips, but when there is joy present, the smile comes from deep inside and the falseness of the ‘smile for the camera’ disappears. We cannot help but smile back, the joy is infectious.

     1. The difference between the two photos are phenomenal however I do have to say that even in your first photo Nicola I can see your beauty, joy and essence – it’s just not as vibrant or popping out as much as in your second photo of you now. How blessed we all are for you to shine so bright today.

        1. Thank you Johanna, I appreciate your comment. Our essence is always there and we are constantly evolving. It is supportive to confirm the changes and renounce those parts of us that were not true, but it is never about judging, reacting to or condemning so called before photos, ourselves or anyone else.

     2. The photos are wonderful proof of the truly loving way that Nicola and Christoph are now living their lives, with true dedication to “what needs to be done”. A picture tells a thousand words. Their lives, and the lives of hundreds of other students of the Way of the Livingness are a testament to the fact that living with love and care, dealing with your issues and looking after yourself have profound effects on the body. The photos show two people that are more radiant and glowing with the joy they feel in their lives everyday.

233. The same as you Nicola, I can observe reactions coming when I feel vital and joyful, but there are not only jealous reactions, there are also those ones who truly are uplifted or inspired by it. And I am inspired by feeling the joy in your sharing.

     1. Exactly Kirsten. And if others are inspired and uplifted and seeing what is possible then that is an added bonus to feeling and supporting our joy within. The more the merrier.

     2. Yes, a lot of people are inspired by Nicola.

234. Thank you for sharing the joy Nicola. You and Christoph provide a beautiful reflection and inspiration of people making loving choices.

235. The first before and after photos clearly show the difference between living and existing.

236. What a glorious difference in the before and after pictures Nicola. The before are like looking into the eyes of no one really there and from the afters the light, love, joy and the aliveness shines forth. This has to be inspiring for other people to see and if it gives them a reflection of what they are not living then it is also giving them the opportunity to show there is another way of being. Thank you for ‘sharing the joy’.

237. “but about the reaction of others to those who choose to return and make truly loving choices.” Yes it is curious to observe that most loving choices are not encouraged truly in life. Like when I stopped drinking alcohol most people tried to offer me another drink…

238. “It did not occur to me that there was something wrong with everyone else.” It can be quite overwhelming when everyone around us says something different than you especially when we are young. I never learned to feel what is true for me when I was growing up. With the support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I have now and it feels very beautiful to realise how the things that do not feel right in the world are actually truly not right even though so many people act in the opposite way. I now trust my own feelings more and more. And now the majority does not define a truth – only truth does.

239. Love is a great healer and allows you to flourish.

240. It’s as though good news stories get a bad press because they prove that it is not only possible but simple to turn one’s life around.

241. Everytime I come back to this blog and see your photos Nicola, the lightness and clarity in you becomes more and more apparent. There is such a striking contrast between how you were and how you are now, and the joy coming out of your pictures is palpable.The changes in you are truly worthy of appreciation on so many levels.

242. The before and after photos are the best record and evidence of true change. We don’t have anywhere in this world an organization who has impulsed true change in people as Universal Medicine has. A role model business of true change!!

     1. It would be interesting to take a sample of Universal Medicine students and to do a before and after comparison. What percentage would be better off when you look at their face?

        1. with most the improvement is not only in their face but in your face ha ha!

243. It is quite revealing when jealousy either in us or another is triggered by someone else feeling really good or living a quality of life that one has not yet made the choices and changes to live for themselves. Do we take inspiration from such a reflection or do we fight and dismiss it to avoid taking the responsibility for our choices?

244. Once we get a taste of what life can truly be and actually is all about everything less is not it anymore. The only question is if we commit and dare to make the changes needed or will we be stuck in habits and patterns. Serge Benhayon simply shares his personal experience and the deep wisdom that comes from living what feels and is recognised as true, so that others can consider for themselves if they want to give it a go and find out for themselves how to change their lives in a way that is true to them.

245. Such an interesting feeling to step back from a situation and observe when someone is in jealous reaction. It is a very human trait to feel uncomfortable when another is doing well, just as there are many who will feel inspired. Ultimately we all make choices about what we want our lives to be, but there is often a need for more honesty about why we may feel annoyed by another persons actions, usually it has triggered something in us that we are not living ourselves.

246. Thank you Nicola. Every time I see these photos I see how much so many of us have let go of. Something worthy of appreciation for sure.

247. In a world filled with disasters, devastation and problems (something you see from a quick glance at the news) you would think that sharing the joy you live and the changes in your lives would be more than welcomed. It’s certainly inspiring, yet confronting as I am sure that many people know exactly what we are doing that is not loving and supportive but choose not to make the changes you’ve made for whatever reason. However that is also no reason to be jealous, what I am starting to feel is to deeply appreciate those that have made such changes for they show us all what is possible.

248. Nicola, you are indeed sharing the joy in buckets and it feels incredibly beautiful, loving and expansive. It is always a choice to either be inspired or to resist but when inspired our connection to ourselves and therefore to another deepens. I loved reading this blog – thank you for sharing.

249. I totally agree Nicola, the impact of jealousy can feel like a full-frontal assault to the body. It feels extremely uncomfortable and recently I noticed the impact it had on my breathing, my heart and chest; my breathing became more rapid and irregular and my chest and heart felt compressed however it is my responsibility to read what is going on around me energetically and to not react to another reacting to me. To see the bigger picture and to have understanding are key.

250. Thank you for bringing up jealousy in this context; like you I decided that I was too much when I was young and turned down the joy and the love so that others wouldn’t be too uncomfortable. But it doesn’t work, not forever and as you say, love and joy prevail in the end.

251. Nicola you are the living proof of this
     ‘However, you cannot kill love or joy – it is eternal, always there and who we are!

252. This definition of Jealousy, takes it deeper than just the jealousy of not liking someone because you think they are better than you, prettier, more successful etc etc. Its that part within us that knows we are not living true to ourselves, to how we could be. As we are amazing beyond words and have so much to bring for us and everyone. This can feel like its killing us.

     I have heard it said that, “JEALOUSY is nothing more than self-fury. It is a personal attack on yourself for not doing what you knew had to be done, which is then vented outward to those who are doing what there is to be done.”

253. How we change ourselves because we see ourselves wrong, when as you said Nicola everyone else is wrong. It’s wrong when we are not living our joy, our naturalness and modify this to be falsely ‘right’
     As you stated Serge Benhayon never holds back, he is his full natural self, which is a reflection for all of us, as its within us too, he lives it.

254. This is so important what you have raised Nicola and for us to be aware of, how people can actually react to joy. Here you are sharing amazing changes and yet someone is angry about that. I know too myself in the past, I would be uncomfortable around someone that was joyful and living well in their lives. I understand now because it shows up how i was living at the time and my life did not feel like that. However we can instead, open up and feel that we too can make different choices and bring a sense of joy and quality to our lives, as I have done. It can be done and lived… as you have beautifully shared with us Nicola!

255. There are ways to share all we are but respect others in their process, in my experience sometimes it best to let others take a step towards you rather than take a step towards them, for there is a fine line between love and imposition. If I deeply ‘read’ another, whether that be a friend, family member or employee, I then only offer them what they are asking for, the rest they get, in my living way, so in truth all is offered but not pushed onto them, I find when I do try to ‘share’ something without reading deeply if its appropriate, reaction can follow.

256. I love looking at your pictures Nicola. They are truly inspiring and reflective of the loving choices you have made. Any reaction to these pictures is for the one reacting to deal with.

257. We tend to think of joy in words or deeds that we do. But what you show so beautifully Nicola, is that it is a quality of energy when we are there, we can’t help but show. Wow – what if we appreciate what we all bring when we just stand next to someone in the street, glimpse at them as we meet, or spend time in the same office? Perhaps then we would see the truth work we do in this world is very different to what we may be contracted to legally.

258. YES! “However, you cannot kill love or joy – it is eternal, always there and who we are!” – So true, you can not kill the truth. You may kill the vessel that express it but just to let it come back in another way. You can not kill truth.

259. My point of view, where I am looking from is my foundation of what I will receive and so perceive.

260. Joy – pure and incorruptible and it leaps off this page in word and in image.

261. Very beautiful to read, see and feel confirmed the fact that whatever challenges we face, whatever has come before, whatever our choices have been, we cannot tarnish love and love is a quality we all hold in equal abundance.

262. To bring all of me to another person, with absolute love and no holding back, as I have experienced over and over again with how Serge Benhayon meets another – this never leaves a person feeling less and it always offers love back in the moment. Love does not play ball with hurts and reaction. It is not involved in duality. It is what it is.

263. Yes, because our true self is love, hence we share love.

264. Yes, and gorgeous, too!

265. This is a beautiful sharing I can feel how you are truly claiming the love that you are with no holding back sharing your amazing transformation Nicola. This story is so inspiring; sitting pondering I realise how I have been avoiding acknowledging feeling jealous of others and feeling jealously projected towards me and using this as an excuse to avoid the responsibility I have to humanity to let go of my hurts and share all of me in my essence.

266. Good news stories are rarely shared on the media because they don’t sell. Stories like yours Nicola should be front page on our generic women’s magazines at the supermarket checkout for all to see. Unfortunately people seem to thrive on the trash that is in these magazines all about high profile people and their miserable lives.

267. ‘It seems that when we start to reconnect to and express who we truly are at essence, it can have quite a dramatic effect on others’. People’s reaction to change elicits all kinds of responses and when the change is from struggle to success whilst some celebrate, there is also the underlying element of envy or jealousy. When a person is struggling and life appears to be dealing them a poor deal others can go into sympathy, which meets a need within them and fills an emptiness and need to be needed. Observing your changes Nicola there is so much light in the way you hold your self and the fact that you have made these choices with much awareness and not been pulled back by the reaction of others. You can feel the truth deeply within yourself and that is your guide to the life you have chosen and live.

268. I love and deeply appreciate seeing the picture of you both sharing the joy in your lives.

269. “saving the bankrupt health systems of their countries a fortune, but are also living productive and exemplary lives, engaged in their communities and dedicated to giving back.” – a very clear and powerful statement, but very true. There’s no community in the world that is this vital, loving, commited, full of energy and engaged in community life all over the world. Simply because they want to give back what they’ve had the blessing of receiving, pure unconditional love and wisdom.

270. True joy is found in the inner-heart of every man and woman. To our (seemingly) convenience we’ve bastardised and substituted joy for happiness. Because of the rising joy that is available for us here on our planet, there’s only one way to offset the joy which is ‘calling in’ more happiness. It might sound crazy, which in fact it is, but this is what we do. Justifying and glorifying our parties, consuming of sugar, alcohol, gluten, cakes, dairy, etc, all at the expense of our body. And without the loving relationship with our body, our Soul’s joy can’t enter, simply because our body isn’t prepared to handle joy and love. Students of The Way of The Livingness have slowly all come back to their body’s, preparing it for the light of the Soul to enter in order to experience true joy.

271. Enjoy away Nicola… we are !! – how gorgeous to celebrate such stunning transformation.

272. Thank you for sharing the joy Nicola. Despite the reactions of some, you provide and inspiring and beautiful reflection to many.

273. When there’s no holding back sharing the joy, it can bring up a sadness in people because it exposes what they may be missing in their lives. Jealousy can be a strong emotion to feel but so much better to embrace the joy you are bringing and sharing and I have found this holding of joy turns others lives around too.

274. Wow that is quite a list of methods showing how throughout human history there have been some of us who have gone “to extreme lengths to distort or destroy the reflection” of the love, joy and truth facing us. Thank God that as you say “you cannot kill love or joy – it is eternal, always there and who we are!” and dogs show it so beautifully – love and joy do not judge or keep a grudge, they get up (or return) and love some more!

275. I agree that these people are going against the trends in every possible way. its incredible how well they are doing in a world that is slowly switching off.

276. The burning flame of joy within a child has never left us. Just beautiful Nicola.

277. “I am now 59 and looking and feeling younger, fitter and even more gorgeous and joyful and I can feel there is no end!”… absolutely Nicola, there is indeed no end to our evolution, and every day is a new beginning and an opportunity to evolve if we choose to take it. And it looks like you are grasping it with both hands and loving every moment 🙂

278. I must say, I miss my red hair.

     1. you are looking more gorgeous and handsome than ever ❤

279. Nicola, the changes in you both are clear to see and feel, what joy and inspiration you are.

280. Nicola before Universal Medicine I always thought people deteriorated as they got older, yet the vitality and spark in yourself and Christoph as well as many other Students of the Way of the Livingness shows what we accept as normal is not in fact true. It is very inspiring to see and feel you both getting younger, more vital and wise at the same time.

     1. David I too had this false perception that we were doomed by old age, yet this isn’t inevitably the case at all judging by the photos from such sites. I am so glad i have the chance to reimprint my life with the glory i naturally am from.

281. Thanks Nicola. When we see someone like yourself returning to their true essence, looking at the photos there is a sense of familiarity and a recognition, in the re-igniting of something we all know, so I agree that the ‘After’ photo is actually the ‘Before’.

282. There is such an ease and joy in your After Photos that is really awesome to feel. In your Before photos I can feel so much tension and anxiety that feels very draining and quite honestly been there, done that, got the T-shirt. To be looking and feeling so easy, natural and joyful 10 or so years later is quite miraculous. What ever you are doing, keep on doing it and looking forward to seeing how you both feel and look in another 10 years time.

283. When we start to see and feel that how we are living truly makes a difference in our lives, it is only natural to want to share this with friends and family, and at times it makes no sense that others would not want to feel and look the same, but the reality is that some are not ready to make those changes for themselves regardless of how much they struggle.

284. I had an old friend make a snide remark about a photo he saw of me on Facebook and I realise now he wasn’t yet used to me looking so healthy and vital instead of me with a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other.I just hope if the boot was on the other foot I would be happy for people if they found a truer way of being and I hadn’t.

285. Making changes in life that are so obviously positive and go against the norm is worth celebrating and sharing for all to see that they too can make different choices should they so choose.

286. There is something about not being allowed to enjoy self appreciation that is very deeply entrenched in to life and Nicola touches on this here. The thing is though, that self appreciation is the key back to heaven. So, I suppose the real question is, why do we, as a mass of humanity, not want heaven to be expressed here on earth, amongst us freely and with no barriers. Perhaps over centuries of religious indoctrination we have come to believe that only a select few can have the glory of God within them, and self appreciation has had to go out the window too. And, perhaps, when someone truly appreciates themselves it is too painful a reminder of what we have left behind. Never the less, when you appreciate yourself, it is a private relationship that you have with yourself, and with the divine energy within you. No one has to have anything to do with it. You can appreciate your self all you want and enjoy the warmth and the light that this brings.

     1. This is spot on, so many people abhor others for being joyous or in self appreciation. This is something we must be able to get over, if we are ever to truly advance as a race.
        the uncomfortableness is due to the fact we have accepted that we cant allow others to be claiming the glory of God that they are, because we don’t want to feel how far away from it we have sunk.

287. Jealousy is vile and purely evil. Not to judge the person who is bringing it; but to observe the effects in our society. It is a very effective way to shut down the truly beautiful expressions and deeds of people, those which make a difference in life. The world is then filled more with the hurts and reactions than the expression and deeds of love. Seen as an energy like this, highlights the evil and explains how it sabotages our deep and innate wish to connect with each other; it breeds the lack of trust and despair in life causing many to give up. This blog offers a way to stand in this.

288. What I love about the after photo is the change in your eyes. They look completely different, and I can see the joy you are living beaming through them.

289. Thank you Nicola. What I felt whilst reading your blog is a coming to a deep stillness to simply observe, understand and not to react or judge. I feel more solid and confident in who I am to claim the love I deeply wish to express.

290. It’s quite amazing isn’t it when confronted with this: “It has been quite a revelation for me over the last few years to discover just how furiously people can at times react to my joy.” It just shows that deep down people know that they also have that choice yet not taking it up and it shows in this fury which is really directed at themselves, even though they can make a new choice any second of any day…

291. I love this Nicola – “However, you cannot kill love or joy – it is eternal, always there and who we are!” Something to always remember and live by …

292. Symes it can be hard to feel inspired by someone when really all you feel is the choices they have made and you haven’t – I know how insidious and horrible jealousy is when we feel it towards another, and when you feel it from others – it is something we have to call out and deal with wherever we see it, because it is so damaging of our relationships.

293. Nicola your photos here say it all. What a transformation. It’s like you’re not really in the ‘before’ pictures and then shining so bright in your more recent ones. It’s fascinating how people want to dismiss that. People often don’t like the truth when it stares them in the face as they either have to be honest that they are not choosing that for themselves or react to it and want to make the other person wrong. Thank you for sharing your joy and light and unwavering even when others try to knock you down.

294. “People who have found a true and simple way to live where they not only transform their health and vitality, thereby saving the bankrupt health systems of their countries a fortune, but are also living productive and exemplary lives, engaged in their communities and dedicated to giving back.” – this is exactly what I’m experiencing myself. Appreciating for myself, for others and for life are growing, literally everyday. My relationship with life has shifted from ‘wanting’ from life, to appreciation for everything that’s been given to me. The shift could only take place, because I’ve learnt to love myself again. Without perfection, but definitely in an incredible different way compared to how my life has been before.

295. Reaction is the easiest way to compare to others and in that – loose all sense of appreciation. It festers into jealousy which ultimately is a reflection of the choices we have not made that someone else has. To understand reaction on this level, is the very thing that can support us to not react but rather appreciate whatever is presented to us. We can learn from absolutely everything 🙂

296. “I realised in hindsight that as a child I was naturally joyful and was always being told off; people found me very annoying.” Interesting how reflection can bring up reactions, but what is wonderful about reflection is that it allows us to become more aware and provides the opportunity for evolution.

297. Jealousy is some thing I have felt and also used. Like a furious tantrum it can spew out leaving the perpetrator on the verge of psychotic outrage – nothing makes sense but to quell the deep hurt at not making true choices. Whereas the attack also targets the truth asking of it to tone down, shut down, turn off so that the relief will be there for those that do not or have not chosen truth.
     This is how we all engage and disengage with who we are – a very un-merry go round of harm upon harm.
     In the face of jealousy stay steady and hold what is so dear to you so tight and shine brightly for the light is what will lead the assailant back to their own light.

298. Its crazy isn’t it, that when we are faced with an energy of love, we can be react so badly and hate the person who has provided this reflection.

299. I am so glad you have written about this Nicola, this topic should be discussed at every school, workplace, home, social function, because it impacts us all. Jealousy undermines us, makes us feel there is something wrong with what we are doing, and jealousy also impacts badly on the person who is directing its evil green gaze at another. You cant be content within yourself if feeling jealous. It simply isn’t possible.

300. I can so relate to how much I was affected by other peoples jealousy as a child. I didn’t know what it was that tried to deaden me back then, I too felt there was something wrong with me, that I shouldn’t be happy when everyone else was clearly bothered by it. Its taken years of work to let go of this erroneous perception that there was something wrong with me- there never ever was, there was something wrong with the way people had allowed their lives to be, and none of that was my fault, EVER.

301. I too am loving how much lighter I feel when I am not consumed by jealousy or struggling to deal with the jealousy of others. I do find life is so much lighter with my commitment to walking forward in both of these issues.

302. The before photos show the years of trying to suppress the natural joy you had as a child. Trying to squeeze ourselves into a mould takes a lot of effort to suppress what is naturally there. It is so much easier and more joyful to just be who we are.

303. The reaction of your friend was a great example of what can happen when we react with jealousy rather than being inspired. It was great that she was honest with about how she felt. Knowing many of the people who have shared their before and after photos there is no intention to gloat at all. It is merely appreciating the life and love they live now and the impact of the choices they have made on their health and wellbeing. Surely this is something we all want?

304. It’s ironic that at the time we think we are having a great time on a holiday eating ice-creams. But looking back our photos tell a different story. It’s all comparative I suppose. Until you have experienced feeling truly light and joyful, the next best thing is these ‘fillers’ in life.

305. The contrast in the before and after photos is quite stark. The before photos there is a dullness to your eyes and bodies. Whereas there is a lightness shining from you both in the ‘after’ photo. Clearly you have lost weight but it is the loveliness and joy that is no longer hidden under dullness, that stands out the most.

306. The transformations of the students in the before and afters are truly miraculous, and yet at the same time incredibly ordinary and normal. Making true and wise lifestyle choices results in a body that can hold great light and vitality. Sometimes the body needs to clear the many decades of abusive choices, and their inevitable physical outplay, but the support we can give ourselves allows that we can go through this process with far greater clarity and ease, growing in wisdom and understanding even if the body still has a lot to clear.

307. Nicola, I love your after photo- what an amazing transformation getting older but looking and feeling younger and being more joy-full in life. Very inspiring as I am in my early 50’s and look forward ageing more gracefully and feeling more vital and committed to life, instead of getting ready for retirement and letting myself go.

308. I too have felt how horrible the energy of judgement, comparison and jealousy feels in my body, as I am becoming more sensitive, and am choosing to become aware more, instead of choosing comfort.
     It comes in so quickly before you even notice it. But by focusing on self appreciation more and valuing the qualities I bring to others and innately have within, I now am becoming more inspired by others which feels warm and spacious in my body. Everyday is an opportunity to evolve.

309. Thank you Nicola for exposing so clearly how people can either be inspired or enraged by someone sharing their light. In society, in our homes, in our friendships and family relationships jealousy is such a bigger problem then we currently care to admit.

310. What a difference an open heart makes. The photo’s say it all.

311. A great reminder we all have the responsibility to choose joy in our lives so we can also appreciate another’s joy 🙂

312. You are an inspiration Nicola Lessing and your joy, infectious – it’s light cannot but shine a light on any darkness! Thank you.

313. It took me a long time to realise how insidious jealousy is, how it sneaks in and is there with you in full force even before you have clocked it. And it also took me a while to acknowledge that it not only feels horrendous in my body, but that it also affects the other person as well. These days I am allowing myself to be inspired by others which feels so light and lovely in my body compared to the heaviness and suffocation of jealousy; it’s still a work in progress but I’m loving the lesson.

314. Nicola, it is amazing to read about and see your transformation, you look like a different person in the after photo – so much lighter and more delicate, incredible to see and feel the difference, thank you for sharing.

315. So lovely to see you have rekindled your joy Nicola. It is crime that as children our natural joy for life is quashed by a few that are either jealous or find it uncomfortable to be around. The contrast in your before and after…(or after the before:) ) are striking; there is a depth that is captured in the after photo that is very beautiful of both you and Christoph

316. ‘However you cannot kill love or joy…..’. This truth touches my heart deeply, as when I observe me or my surrounding I observe how we do not live this truth often in full, accepting that we are love, pure love and are able to live this most of the day.

317. It is interesting that within society, we may focus on anothers’ weaknesses, a flaw or attempt to diminish, undermine or taint their shine. How far we have deviated from true brotherhood, appreciation of each other and inspiring another.

     1. Deborah what struck me when reading your comment was how what you shared about how we ‘may focus on anothers’ weaknesses, a flaw or attempt to diminish, undermine or taint their shine’ applies to how I am many times with my immediate family. This is coming up a lot for me at the moment and is borne from my dogged vision of how I think things should be and how I believe others should behave. Cognitively I understand that I am not supporting others to return to the truth of who they are but I have yet to be able to bring this understanding into my lived experience; although as my level of awareness builds, I do feel myself moving more and more towards letting go of my set expectations.

318. It is very interesting many claim to want to change life for better and go out and seek how to do it, but when they encounter those who have actually and truly turned their life around, sometimes they react or even attack. I sometimes question how genuine that want for change is.

319. The force of jealousy is really nasty to feel, but learning to understand that it is an energy and not to take it personally has been a massive support for me. It’s not always easy to keep coming back with love in the face of it, but I am learning.

320. When those around us are committed to making choices from their hearts it is truly something to appreciate.

321. Joy is made to be shared.

322. This is the reverse of what happens to children. Many children start out joyful and then adjust more and more to their surroundings. Here we start out well adjusted and become more and more joyful.

323. I know the feeling of jealousy talked about here having felt it within me and having felt it directed at me. Both of them feel terrible. It is true that when it’s coming from outside it is so much easier to shrink back to avoid being the target. But I have been inspired by those who feel the jealousy directed at them and choose to carry on expressing in their fullness regardless. Great examples are Serge and Natalie Benhayon – looking at them I saw the love within this choice, because my life has been blessed in so many ways by their unwavering expression and what would have happened if they had stopped expressing at the first sign of feeling the discomfort of jealousy from me or from others towards them? I realise that the jealousy happens when we are furious that we have not done what is necessary to be where the other person is, but getting the unwavering reflection offers us the prompt to start seeing that it is ‘normal’ and we could be doing it too – it is a huge loving gift. I appreciate the fact that you too have decided regardless of what is thrown your way to keep sharing the joy and the love that blesses so many people – especially since I am one of those people.

324. a while ago I ran into an old acquaintance and after our meeting she look at the before and after pictures on the website. When I saw her again she said she had shared it with a friend who had commented that it was probably the worst picture ever before and a photoshopped picture after. She said she had replied that it was actually very real as she had known me before and knew that is what I looked like and she had seen me after and I looked exactly as my picture. This is the real deal but not everyone is willing to accept that there actually is a way of life that can make this reality.

     1. I know I’ve done similar things in the past, shrugging off another’s achievements or choices, but in truth, only to make myself feel better, and not have to look at my behaviours or choices, or lack of them.

        1. I agree Jenny, we do not want to see as it exposes our own choices and in this way we can continue to block out the inner knowing that has been telling us what is not true and not working all along.

325. I’ve been avoiding feeling jealousy all my life. Both feeling it inside of myself as well as well as jealousy being pointed towards me. More and more I can see how this has been the perfect excuse to avoid taking responsibility and in that taking away my natural joy and laughter. Recently I’ve become very aware how much Joy there is in me, how Joyful I am. Innately joyful. Admitting and accepting this in full for myself in a process in itself. Being with it ‘in public’ is something else. But! It might go slow, but I’ll get there. Writing this and feeling the truth of it, is allready very healing for me and is touching me.

326. Looking at the before and after photos on Unimed Living the eyes say it all… and then that is reverberated throughout the rest of the body. All I can say is miracles abound us everywhere… the difference is massive!

327. I find it fascinating to see the before and after photos – to me they are a kind of science that never gets boring

     1. Brilliant Rebecca – the Befores and Afters photos are indeed a science – a true science based on the fact that we can feel, and through this feeling, see true change for the better. We know intimately the fine-ness or dense-ness of what we are receiving.

328. Very true. People enjoy another’s failure much more than they do their success – a harsh but true assessment of society. Good news stories hardly touch the news not because they are not many but because they do not illicit drama like a story of struggle. We prefer to hear of the good fight than the story that had no fight at all.

     1. Good news stories make the readers aware how much their life contrasts with the story and thereby uncomfortable – bad for business. Bad news stories make the readers aware how much their life contrasts withe the story and thereby complacent and happy – good for business.

329. Every time I look at the photos of you and Christoph Nicola, I see and feel the huge contrast between how you were and how you are now. There is so much lightness and freedom of allowing yourselves to be who you are in the recent pictures, compared to the dullness and holding back of how you both were previously. And the joy is just oozing out of you both – gorgeous.

330. “The first thing I always notice is the change in the eyes.” The eyes are the beholders of what we choose – the depth of connection. That coupled with the face holds every choice you have ever made. So beauty, as Nicola & Christoph display, comes from the pursuit to feel great on the inside by nurturing their connection to their essence.

331. Nicola, it is deeply inspiring to see the change in both you and Christoph – it goes to show how when we truly embrace ourselves and life that we can completely change and let go of everything we have taken on. The ‘normal’ thing is for people to give up when they age and escape from life whereas both yourself and Christoph are doing the opposite and the photos are more than proof of the beneficial effects for everyone.

332. I really appreciated reading the true definition of jealousy, makes so much sense and also allows for so much more understanding and love to be shown knowing the truth of the reaction.

333. Nicola, it is no surprise that there is reaction towards the amazing loving choices you have made. You provide an amazing reflection for the choices that can be made and absolutely beam as a 59 year old woman. Despite the reaction from some, I have no doubt that there are many more that are truly inspired by reflection rather than reacting to it.

334. Yes, they are there and, amazingly, we can choose to feel truth and joy or connect to truth and joy at any time.

335. The contrast between the before and after photo of Nicola is stark but when I look at the ‘before’ photo, my heart still leaps. Nicola then was absolutely gorgeous and beautiful and I can see it in that photo. Despite that, it is amazing how much we can progress from there.

     1. Very beautiful to read and feel your love filled words, Christoph.

     2. Beautiful Christoph, which goes to show the awesome power of who we truly are, which can be felt, but not always seen.

336. Your photgraphs speak a thousand words Nicola. There is no denying that you have lost an enormous amount of heaviness and sadness from your eyes, face and body, and now you simply shine out for all to see. It is no wonder that some find this hard to accept, as your refelction is one of pure joy and love. Something many people desperatley want but are not ready to look at why its not in their lives.

337. I really love how it feels to read : “However, you cannot kill love or joy – it is eternal, always there and who we are!” Just knowing this truth and having it so clearly claimed is absolutely supportive to stay connected with the forever deepening joy that is available within rather than the ‘drop it like a hot potato’ reaction when another’s anger is raised.

338. You feel so lovely, beautiful and delicate Nicola. I allowed jealousy to keep me small for a long time. And still I find it difficult and actually very sad if I feel jealousy ‘thrown’ at me. Jealousy always comes from comparing oneself to another. And the only way jealousy can arise is because we’ve stopped appreciating ourselves and the innate qualities we hold. What makes jealousy even a bigger ‘issue’ is the same around it. Hardly anyone talkes about it, dares to be honest about it, let alone feel it. As with everything, acknowledging is the first step that is needed in order to heal this world wide very destructive emotion.

339. The true transformation in a person is not in their weight or even in the way we care for ourselves it is in regaining the connection to the glory that we are and this is seen in the eyes always. If you check out the before and after picture, check out the eyes!

340. As you say Nicola it is all in the eyes as it definitely is, and with yours eyes you can actually feel the holding of love for yourself and others, and how there is no need. I think sometimes that is what people feel hard to accept, that when you make choices that show this inner joy, they have to ask themselves about their own choices.

341. I love your comment about the after photo actually being the before as in before all the stuff we accept and dump on ourselves to protect and hide our amazingness from the world. The after photos show you both standing there with eyes sparkling for all the world to see.

342. I find it interesting how often when you begin to love more of who you are in full, people struggle with it a lot more than one might expect seeing as your only getting more loving and joyful, but for some this can be confronting to see and feel in someone because it reflects to there the choices that haven’t been making for themselves. And here is where appreciation is the key – the ability to appreciate how far someone has come in expressing all of who they are and the choices they make, rather than reacting to the comparison

343. So super amazing Nicola, I am so glad you write this. We should never ever hold ourselves back because of reactions of jealousy or comparison from around us. As this is not giving everyone an equal chance to feel that joy is lived even if jealousy is around or expressed by others. Like you say: ”However, you cannot kill love or joy – it is eternal, always there and who we are!”
     So rock on you, and lets rock all together. Jealousy should never be given power. So we must express our heavenly joy..

344. This isn’t just the benefits of loving choices, healthy lifestyle and abstention from life’s vices; this is a science, a living science – your life and those of all the others who have done the “Before and After” and the many other students of Universal Medicine, need to be documented and studied. What is happening here changes everything.

345. You present joy as the simple choice it is Nicola.

346. It is so un-common to look at pictures of people who are 10 years older, yet who look and feel 10 years younger than their previous photo. This is truly reversing the trend – a hall mark of the Universal Student and something that should and will in time, be subject to scientific study. Choosing the energy of Love is our best and in the end, only truly effective medicine.

347. It is interesting how we can react when we are in front of someone who is living in their fullness – I know for me one of the things I used to do, and still catch myself doing on occasions is, instead of being inspired by these people, I get judgemental and find picky things to criticise, when all the time it’s me that needs to change, or choose differently.

348. Each time I see you, there is more joy, love and presence. It is a joy to behold Nicola Lessing.

349. The ‘Before and After photos of students of The Way of The Livingness’ are a truly remarkable documentation of what happens when one chooses The Way of The Livingness.

350. ‘JEALOUSY is nothing more than self-fury’ – This is so true and shatters the ideals we have about jealousy being all to do with other people. Often we try to blame feelings of jealousy on others, ‘do they HAVE to be like that in public’ or ‘they’re just gloating’ being great examples of how we try to criticise others for being joyful or self appreciative in order to take the realisation that there is a lack of this in our own lives off our chest.

351. A great read Nicola, and always a joy to hear/see you express. No jealousy needed, just an inspiration, so thank you!

352. Wow Nicola this is so powerful and all so true. Our reflection of love and joy and the effects on others makes so much sense of what we feel and brings the reality of how we are living as humanity currently not in our essence and living the love we are. Jealously and rage is not an uncommon reaction to being shown this but the reflection is essential if we are going to return to our real beauty and joy.Thank you for sharing yours so amazingly.

353. The before and after photos in this blog are like night and day. It is clear to see that there is vitality and sparkle in the eyes whereas previously there was only bloating and dullness. It is easy to understand why a friend or relative may get upset, as being well and having vitality as we get older is far less common and we usually associate this as only being something the younger generation enjoy. So I suppose it would be a bitter pill to swallow for some.

354. This woman was confirmation that it isn’t only about what we say or do, but the quality and depth of stillness we hold within.

355. I was inspired by a woman recently, standing alone she exuded deep stillness and quiet joy. It was extra-ordinary how fully present this person was with herself and not in anyway seeking appreciation or recognition. And as she stood her emanation touched all who passed by.

356. Awww…. Thank you! xxx

357. There may be difficulties and reactions when we choose to be and express love but it is *so* worth it.

358. Nicola thank you for sharing all that you wrote. For me I can relate to the negative reaction of others and the laced feelings of jealousy onto me. This has in the past caused me to not stand as tall as I should and take on the blame for the lack of others. You sharing this has allowed me to reflect and appreciate what was really going on. Re- balancing boundaries of appreciation , responsibility, love and respect for myself and others.

359. As women we have a remarkable ability to be able to size another woman up within a matter of seconds. Before we have ventured 5 mins into a conversation we have compared body shape, weight, looks, kids, partners, incomes, and evolutionary status and ranked ourselves accordingly. Often if we have come out in an imaginary lower ranking our lips will be on a cup of poison before we know it, ready to imbibe the foul bitterness of jealousy and comparison.

360. Such was my own fury towards myself when I was younger and in the company of joyous people that I always preferred the company of people who were struggling as it allowed me to not feel where I was truly at.

361. Jealousy like a lot of other forces in life can be felt as a full frontal assault. If we but gave ourselves the space, we would know that there is a lot to be aware of, and there may be much to address in the way of understanding life energetically.

362. It’s amazing how much of a difference self loving choices and consistency of living make in such a short amount of time!

363. An important blog and important to express that appreciation and celebration of positive changes within one’s own life and of others can easily be seen as gloating. Yet when appreciation is brought into the moment and shared with another, appreciating the truth of where we all come from, of the essence we all have within and that in that moment of meeting another, there is true equality, then I have experienced over and over again that it is never taken defensively. This true appreciation is the act of breaking down the individuality and in it there is no ‘I’ to reinterpret it. There is only all of us.

     1. Absolutely Simon. It’s when we feel the self in someone’s self adoration that it becomes easy to react. True appreciation of self holds another equally and inspires them to do the same.

364. Thank you for sharing the link to the before and after photo library and stories on Unimed Living. It is great when you see so many changes in lots of people all across the world. l really enjoy reading the stories of how their lives have changed. Who needs complicated double blind this or that studies when the proof is in the pudding and right before your eyes. I have always loved reading or watching documentaries and true stories. Who better to tell the story than the person who has lived and experienced it.

365. We all have endless joy available to us – on tap – and, it’s free. The choice to accept it and live in a way that turns the tap on; or off is entirely up to us.

366. Great to expose the jealousy and pride that can come from us not being totally honest with ourselves and feeling the truth of how we are actually living.

367. I remember being on the receiving end of jealousy growing up and being mystified as to what people were jealous of but nevertheless feeling very hurt by their rejection and not being ‘liked’ and so started the dulling down and morphing of myself into someone who was more ‘likeable’ yet far less of the real me. Thank goodness for Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for shining the light on the path back home, to the joyful place that I began, with me in all my divinity.

368. “JEALOUSY is nothing more than self-fury’… Why be furious when you just get on with making the choices you have always wanted to make?

369. Your before and after pictures share so much … in the before, you feel very cold and distant, like you’re not really there at all. In the after you are all there, fully present and so inviting with your gorgeous captivating smile.

370. I love the description of your only 24/7 job Nicola. That’s a job I can see you wont be retiring from.

371. This is so revealing Nicola. I have found that whenever I react to someone’s loving choices rather than be inspired by them, it is because I don’t want to feel all the non-loving choices that I have made. Whenever I feel this reaction, it is a signal for me to look deeper at my responsibility and the choices that I am making.

372. People need to see this – it is clearly agaimst the trend to witness such clear vitality, wellness and joy.

373. I recognise the action of dumbing ourselves down so as not to incur the fury of others. Glad to see you are no longer doing that, just simply sharing the joy you are now living.

374. It is very confirming of who we truly are and deeply inspiring to read the before and afters you describe – the pictures alone say it all. The Way of The Luvingness clearly works – true connection, lived Love and Joy.

375. It’s sad that we focus our self-fury towards those who have done what we wished we had but chose not to, less they shine even more light into the shadows which we have created.

376. For some like myself Nicola your joy is infectious. I stand beside you or hear you express and I feel the joy ignite in me. You inspire me to skip among the tulips. Thank you for this awesome blog

     1. 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

377. So true Nicola we are all sensitive to the vibration of another. I look at the photo of you now and your lightness of being is palpable. You shine and sparkle like a star, the fineness and purity of your essence is present for all who want to see, feel and be inspired by.

378. We often think of joy as laughter and fun expressed outwardly by someone but as you have described it here Nicola, true joy is the connection with our bodies and the quality of our movements as the more we honour and accept ourselves there is such a settlement felt in our bodies as we are coming back home to who we truly are.

379. Looking at the before and after photos it is hard not to notice the vast diference in the way you both look with more vitality and far less protection in your bodies, this quality of being is true joy and it is true that some may not like this but there are many who are desperately looking for it to be shared with them.

380. “There are other very obvious physical differences in many of the photos including some huge examples of weight loss, some scary, hairy men turning into beautiful tender men, some scary, hard women turning into beautiful delicate women and generally people looking much younger, healthy and radiant in the After photos when in fact they are years older.”

     Re-read the above a few times, let in really in and I bet nobody can resist either a reaction of wow or disbelief. It sounds (and looks) to good to be true. But I can share from my own perspective that I’m one of those and it’s unbelieveble how much I’ve changed and am still changing. To be ‘in joy’ with myself, feeling it within my body is just a miracle in itself if you would have known me before. And during the time of my own unfoldment, I’ve seen many, many, many people experiencing the same. There’s such incredible changes for the ‘better’. Opening up to the Love we are is Truly remarkable! Who doesn’t want to have a go?

381. Nicola I love your summary here – that your job is to ‘be, live and express the love that she is in everything she does!’ – What a great way to see life, to apply this to every aspect and to see this as something we can deliver to the world. It comes through in your blog just as I am sure it does in all of your work and how you are.

382. Great to know about jealousy and realise that when people react it does not necessarily mean there is anything wrong with you. Not only has it been empowering to understand that it is people’s fury toward themselves directed outwards which results in jealousy, it is also useful to be able to apply it to myself – to know that the periodic unkind outbursts which surprise even myself and do not ever make sense, could be related to a self-fury toward myself when I am facing something amazing in another. Makes it much easier to turn it round to appreciating and being inspired by the other person.

383. What I love about your after photos Nicola is the lightness in your being and the sparkle in your eyes. There is a wisdom and depth there that is a delight to behold, and I can see that there is no holding back your joy, you do not own it for yourself, it is there to be shared with everyone. And that goes for that gorgeous husband of yours too, you are both an inspiration.

384. Nicola, a picture does say one thousand words – to see you two today glowing and looking younger than before is a stunning example of how ones life can be turned around and filled with such beauty. The only regret I have is not to have done this earlier – really we should all have been shining from the start and never dimmed out lights. But better late than never!

385. Beautifully shared with honesty, lovely hear to of your experiences, Universal Medicine is an awesome organisation, one that offers real change for humanity and as you say the proof is in the eyes of all the before and afters, which are so inspirational to feel and view.

386. We do not always get appreciative responses when we begin to shine, this is where it is so important to learn to appreciate and love ourselves. We can not ask anyone else to tell us we are enough. I have stumbled with this some times, and it has been a big lesson to realise this, it has however enabled me to embody what I am, who I am in essence more profoundly, because it is a lived way within me and not reliant on anything or anyone outside.

387. When many of us reflect on our childhood there will be points when we felt like we were not heard, seen or appreciated. If we do not have guiding lights around us to support and inspire us, we can fall into thinking that this is because we are not good enough; as we grow older…however, we all have a knowing that as a child the idea of not good enough did not exist, we were enough, we were joyful, we were steady and settled. I am coming back to this knowing of myself and I can see how this choice is supporting my children to also confirm that they are in essence divine and life can be joyful in honouring and learning to express it.

388. We can all feel energy, we are from energy, we make assessments of each all the time. How we perceive what we feel is down to our lived way, how consistently we live with responsibility and clarity. If we do not love ourselves, we cannot love another and when that other loves themselves we get to choose whether it is an inspiration or we go into jealousy.

389. It is fascinating how when we are young we start to shut down our Glory so we don’t make others feel uncomfortable and so we will be liked. At such a young age we work out that this is what needs to be done and with out a moment of questioning that it could what we are being asked to of is not true. Here we have a turning of the tides with the presentations of Serge Benhayon confirming that we are Everything we ever need to be and that we are Glorious. Having this as our starting point our future looks a lot brighter.

390. Great point about the medical health system and its bankruptcy. We all want it to provide us with the answers of why we are sick and not living the fullness we could. But only we can truly answer this and be fully responsible for it.

391. The tension in your faces and bodies in the ‘before’ pictures is pretty palpable, Nicola and Christoph, apart from the other differences felt. The changes in the ‘after’ pictures reflect the gorgeous light shining from you both.

392. Beautifully expressed – how ludicrous it is when we consider that the one thing most would like to be – joyful – can bring us so much reaction when we see it in others.

393. Super observation Nicola “It has been quite a revelation for me over the last few years to discover just how furiously people can at times react to my joy” and super well done for allowing yourself to feel this – it’s not a nice thing to feel, no matter how subtle the reaction is from another. But the fact that this is so, gives us an insight into how we gave up on being the joyfully expressing little child, and tempered our joy to not ‘upset the apple cart’! but apple cart upturned, it’s back!

394. As to the judgement that these photos can receive or that I have had, for the choices that I have made in my life. Yes they can be extreme, but with understanding they are easy to read. And I have also noticed that they are coming at me less these days. I feel that people are more open than ever to seeing that there might be another way. Also because this way of living has become much more of a lived expression – rather than some kind of dogma – I am becoming ever more normal with it and ever more accessible. In past years there has been an arrogance, a defensiveness. Now I know with every single cell in my body that it is the true way, I have zero to prove or zero to defend, which makes me much more transparent. And thus harder to attack.

395. Our reactions to those who are doing well and who live with joy are quite a startling revelation. Often we react to others anger, emotions or frustrations and are all-aware of this. It is rare that we allow ourselves to feel the reaction of jealousy to those that live with joy. This explains why children will tone down their natural expression as it can bring up much for parents who feel by way of reflection what they are missing in themselves.

396. The truth that things happen on an energetic level first, before they become physical can be seen clearly in situations such as this. I can certainly remember others being irritated by my absolute joyfulness as a child. Now, in later life and with this awareness, I can see how people react to each other’s energy rather than what is presenting on the surface. Such interactions don’t make sense when solely viewed from a physical level – like when a conversation leaves a ‘bad taste in the mouth’ but we don’t really know why. Yet there is ‘hangover’ from it that we struggle to get past. When we start to appreciate that there is an energetic interaction going on at the same time, then things start to make a lot more sense.

     1. Yes, indeed when we appreciate that things are happening on an energetic level first, exactly as you say Richard, they start to make a lot more sense although in another way it often does not make sense at all! Perhaps we can say that when we are open to the energetic aspect and can see things as they are without reacting, we gain tremendous understanding and awareness as to why things happen and why people (including ourselves at times) behave in ways that seem to be simply crazy!

397. One of the things that I think is so fascinating about this blog is when you say that if anyone had asked you how you were doing in the Before photo, you would have said something along the lines of “fine..Ok..great…” Indeed because you were on holiday and thought you were having ‘fun’ you may have even been more effusive than that. It is astonishing what we are accepting as normal. (“OK” and “Fine” are two of the most poisonous words in the english language.) The ‘Before and After’ program is a deeply profound study – an expose of how desperately low most of society have set the bar of vitality, joy and well-being. I have immense appreciation of all of those who have taken part and those that have supported it to be the game-changing piece of scientific research that it is.

     1. I have recently started to catch myself when I say certain things, like fine, good, OK, etc. I realise it’s just a very lazy way of answering something when actually there is so much more to say and express.

398. Nicola, absolutely beautiful to feel and see your joy and vitality and I love that you are not holding back and are not afraid to stand tall and be joyful and truthful to who you really are – very inspiring.

399. The eyes are indeed miraculous. They say everything and these before and after photos will be studied for aeons. Whilst society disappears ever more rapidly down the hole of exhaustion, disease, mental illness and a total lack of joy, these thousands examples are showing that there is ANOTHER WAY.

400. Yes, whether something like this ignites us or enrages us – we are all left with something to reflect upon. I find that when I have a reaction there is definitely something be looked at in me and that my reaction is usually resistance to seeing a deeper truth I have conveniently ignored.

401. The before and after photos speak volumes as there is such a huge difference in the vitality shown in your faces. Given the trend out there where getting older seems to come with misery and quite often pain, it’s not surprising that some friends and family may get jealous.

402. This blog definitely shares the joy. It is oozing off the page. Thank you for sharing your story.

403. Have you ever met someone that you had not seen for a long time, friends we grew up with are a good example? The three scenarios; they look the same (rare), they have fought the march of time with a bit of help from body sculpting surgery, and the number one choice seems to be the comfort of the good life. The last one may be accompanied by a rattling from all the pills, and maybe we have let our body go a bit. There is a rare new scenario that is growing, looking younger as we get older! The new group is from just relearning to appreciate and love ourselves again and feel what we put into our bodies The biggest change will always be in the eyes, there is a sparkle, that can only come from within.

404. I have also experienced this type of fury when I have told old friends and acquaintances that I no longer consume alcohol. You would think people would be happy for you that you no longer have the need to drink but instead you get the cold shoulder.

405. ‘…..so really the After photos are us getting closer to who we truly are and were Before we took on all that is not the truth of who we are!’, – Thank you Nicola for sharing this unfolding with us all – I had not seen what is happening in this way but it is absolutely clear that this is true. A revelation in action – truly beautiful and confirming of the fact that it is available to us all.

406. Thank you, Nicola. I remember as a child feeling that I was so sunny and full of light that I filled the room, and I could not understand that others did not feel the same joy. But I know that I too have been jealous of another rather than bask in their glory. It is super important as you say that we shine on, regardless of what it brings up in others, as ultimately it is through a consistent reflection of heaven that we will inspire one another to return to who we truly are.

407. Yes Nicola, everything is energy and that is something we as humanity have to become accustomed to. It is important that we understand that we live in a world of energy first and that we are subject of the energy we choose for, which is either to live the love and joy or, to choose for another energy, that is void of love and allows us to live our lives in for instance the self fury that being jealous on another brings to us.

408. It is interesting, when we are confronted with something irrefutable, we still find a way to ignore it. Yes, you are all looking so much better, but you are gloating and I rather feel worse than gloat. Sorry, I have to laugh when I write that but that is what happens and I would have done the same in the past.

409. Another story about a statistical outlier – brilliant.

410. These photos say a million words, awesome to see the change and the light in your eyes get brighter, thank you for sharing – super inspiring.

411. I love the difference which can be felt between the before and after photos – true testament to the effect of the way you and many others now live.

412. Joy is a confirmation of who we are. Reacting to that joy by getting jealous or even angry, is nothing more than an attempt to further squash that deeply known truth by rejecting the reflection being offered by another.

413. I love the clarity and wisdom there is such a strength and your sharing is so natural. Absolutely honest and supportive and confirming in living our joy and be the love that we are. Thank You Nicola.

414. Thank you, Nicola. Your photos say a lot about the changes that have occurred for you. When I look at your eyes I can see the joy that you are describing in this blog. I remember as a child searching for that quality in people’s eyes but not being able to find it. For the most part, people’s eyes looked dull, dreary and sad both in my childhood and still do today. This is not the case with the students of The Way of the Livingness. Look into any of their eyes and you will find a sense of aliveness, a depth of presence, openness, and a deep joy. There is a reason for this and it is because the students of the Way of the Livingness have re-connected to themselves and to the divine spark that they come from. This is life transforming as the photos clearly indicate.

415. Jealousy seems to ‘just be there, just appear’. I see now that I’m the one choosing jealousy. That indeed I’ve got a choice. That I’m not the victim of losing the connection to my precious self. I’ve always ‘hated’ jealousy. But in this reaction, I couldn’t observe it and instead of being honest about it, I decided to bury it. At present, I still do very uncomfortable, but I’m also learning that there’s a choice. And that if I’ve got a choice, others do as well which means that I’m also in the process of letting go of the sympathy I held for other people.

416. I too have shown the before and after photos to my friends, and they were blown away by the changes – the qualities of the livingness cannot be denied when you look at the changes that have taken place in people, seeing the light and joy in their eyes and faces and smiles

     1. Yes, these are the most impressive collection of before and afters I have seen.

417. Have we forgotten our ability to share joy? It seems to be normal to either hide joy or attack it.

     1. …hiding joy is already an attack!

418. “It can be very confronting to be faced with love (which is an energy) because it exposes all that is not of love (i.e. not of that same energetic quality). This can bring up in us many hurts that we may or may not be ready or willing to deal with. It can also hurt our pride and show us that we are not as truly loving, clever or nice as we like to think we are.” Beautiful description of the reactions and hurts that can bubble up when we are faced with love, the greatest success is being able to hold our love in the face of jealousy and rage; to see it plainly for the energetic force that it is.

419. “So I stopped expressing, stopped being joyful, stopped trusting myself and comfortably joined in with others in being miserable but very functional and pretending I was not as miserable as I was. I became a lot more popular.” Nicola this is tragic and so utterly the experience of so many, the pact we make to fit in, the contract we sign up to to be liked; knowingly waving goodbye to ourselves and all that we hold dear and true.

420. “People who have found a true and simple way to live where they not only transform their health and vitality, thereby saving the bankrupt health systems of their countries a fortune, but are also living productive and exemplary lives, engaged in their communities and dedicated to giving back.” Such an important point Nicola, the human race seems to think it can continue to live in a way that is accountable to no-one, that we can get away with mass irresponsibility – yet as we well know, rates of illness and disease continue to soar and its the health systems that are carrying the burden of this mighty arrogance.

421. “It started the return from my After back to my Before… ha ha, as I write this I just realised that really we have the Before and After photos the wrong way around.” Love this Nicola, your are so right for the after photos particularly the eyes are much closer to the young boys and girls that arrived into this world, open, joyful and expressive and the before’s show all the guards and protection we take on as we begin to navigate through a world that does not celebrate and confirm us for who we innately are.

422. Those who are returning to the joy we all naturally are are there supporting all those around them who choose to also. Any judgement for me not choosing love is coming from me.

     How wonderful it is having people in my life like Nicola who 100% support me to choose me. I remember being a child and people around reacting to my joy and the simplicity of life. I chose to complicate life and make it miserable so I could justify my choice not to be joyful with a ‘life is hard’ attitude. I believed being miserable with everyone seemed like I wouldn’t feel alone. Disconnected to the love that I am, cannot feel joyful and cuts the awareness of the connection we all share. It’s a joy knowing there are people like Nicola choosing to live joyfully.

423. ‘It can be very confronting to be faced with love (which is an energy) because it exposes all that is not of love (i.e. not of that same energetic quality). This can bring up in us many hurts that we may or may not be ready or willing to deal with. It can also hurt our pride and show us that we are not as truly loving, clever or nice as we like to think we are.’ – If we are to be truly honest I am sure there are not many human beings that have never experienced feeling hurt or pain of being exposed when they are being confronted with absolute truth, even when it was delivered with love. Just like we also have experienced not reacting at all when it was said with yet a deeper level of love.

     1. I know I have done this, I have reacted when some one else is walking tall, strong, steady with their light shining bright, it is a reflection, and I know that at that moment I am not choosing it as well, or not showing it to the same degree. Every time that we do not hold another in love fully, we do not say Yes to their amazing natural essence, we allow self fury to have dominance over connection, This s is our choice and when we understand that we can began to make other choices.

        1. Yes, we need to see and feel when we react and do this, accept that is what we are doing and dealing with why we are doing it. Noticing it and ignoring it is not quite as good an approach…

     2. Yes, the pride gets hurt badly when we feel stupid, but we grow enormously when we acknowledge what is happening and accept that, at times, we can feel quite stupid.

424. Loved the article Nicola and thank you for the inclusion of the energetic definition of jealousy which I will make a note of

425. Meeting someone who holds both others and themselves in a very brotherly love a real gift, that inspires the same in others. Children can be very sweet in this way.

426. It is evident through your photos that although we cannot destroy the eternal love and joy within, we can live in a way that suppresses it… when seeing the difference in the after photo and the joy and power in returning to that which we are from, it makes sense that we would be furious at ourselves for not making the choices to embrace what is possible.

427. I just looked again and the massive difference in your eyes in your before and after photos is incredible Nicola. Regarding jealousy, I have had jealousy come toward me and I have been party to allowing it to flow out from me to others, your description feels correct, either way our bodies get ravaged and it is a devastation that can take a long time to heal.

428. Nicola, you guys truly emanate joy in your ‘after’ photo. Yours is yet another testament to The Way of the Livingness, reconnecting back to the love that we are.

429. So inspiring and a great support in feeling the joy and living it.

430. I am understanding recently how confronting it can be for others, including children who have lost their connection, to be with me. It has made me feel rejected, shut myself down, question myself because of my past desire to be liked by everyone, or felt hurt. Understanding we are all on our own paths of development has helped enormously for me to feel it, not react and not change my path. The joy is there for sharing with everyone, for whoever wants to connect with it.

431. It is true Nicola, that when people see how much healthier and younger you are looking as you grow older, instead of older and sicker, there can be a reaction of jealousy. Mostly however I have experienced people saying to me, OMG you look amazing, what are you doing, how did you do it? Certainly anyone who has known me from the past cannot believe the transformation and vitality in which I now live.

432. This is proof that love and joy is there for us all equally to share with everyone if we can be open to it and are willing to work on ourselves and relieve ourselves of all the emotional baggage that we pick up along the road of life.

433. Nicola I have to keep coming back and taking a look at your photos, knowing you the after photos are what I see yet I also thought you looked healthy before. It’s amazing that we often see first with the eyes rather than feel how something is first. In the after photos we get to feel the fullness and vibrance and the vitality of you first and then see the photo confirm what we feel. It’s a whole new way of seeing life and people.

434. Nicola, it’s beautiful to see and feel your before and after. You share the possibility for all to experience the same depending on our willingness to go there or not.

435. The joy in this article is palpable. People are free to choose how they respond. Unfortunately there are many who will always choose to be jealous which can lead to forms of behaviour that harm

436. Beautiful Nicola, the before and after photos of you and your husband are incredible – such a transformation and there are many others like this, The Way of The livingness is an amazing way to live and the proof is in these photographs.

437. No matter what, as you say Nicole you can not break, kill or destroy Love – it is eternal and is our saving grace from where we have embarked on a road that is not us. I love the returning to the before and letting go of everything that is not our true expression. Serge Benhayon is a shining light of where we truly come from and how it is absolutely possible to be this quality in all that we do.

438. Eyes sparkling, reflect an inner joy. It’s true, its all in the eyes.

439. We no longer have to hide or play small, and can live our claimed selves joyfully, the way you do. Your before and after pictures is open confirmation and celebration of your inner transformation.

440. Your after photos show exactly what sharing the joy looks like in expression. Light, playful, vital and beautiful.

441. I have felt the force of jealousy come through me and others and it is an awful destructive and separative emotion that can do great harm if we allow it to be there.

     1. It’s pretty much impossible for two people to work together while jealously is present.

442. Serge Benhayon is very inspiring in the way he consistently holds a level of love and joy in his body that he will not relinquish for anything.

443. I had a good look through some old photos of myself last year and I was surprised at how much joy and lightness was in my eyes and body when I was a child and then how much this changed to a hardness and anxiousness as I grew older. Some more recent photos of me thankfully have some of that lightness and openness coming back thanks to Universal Medicine for the inspiration.

     1. Me too. How incredibly awesome is that?!

444. There is indeed a remarkable difference between the before and after photos of many people who have been inspired by Universal Medicine. This is no coincidence but a trend in itself worth studying.

445. “These are what you might call miraculous transformations of hundreds of people going against the trend we generally see in society. People who have found a true and simple way to live where they not only transform their health and vitality, thereby saving the bankrupt health systems of their countries a fortune, but are also living productive and exemplary lives, engaged in their communities and dedicated to giving back.” This is outstanding and absolutely enormous and something any country should put its focus to when it comes to health care and the well being of their people. There is a simple, loving way to live that brings us all the benefits we need for a healthy, vital, productive and cooperate world/society.

446. Nicola, you are a great inspiration to many people with the integrity and true responsibility you live with.

447. It is interesting what the changes have been – for me my weight has always remained pretty much identical. The difference is the puffiness has gone, and the sparkle is back. I feel more inside than I ever have, and my passion for living and sharing is stronger now than it ever has been.

448. What you’ve shared about jealousy Nicola is so important… this affects so many, regardless of how much or little awareness one allows around it’s presence in others. Getting to understand it however as a normal part of what occurs when we take steps others choose not to, is the first step in being able to allow it without stepping back ourselves in reaction also.

449. That shock leaves a deep impression and will be remembered. When better choices become more important, for example in the case of illness, we may remember how much our choices can benefit us.

450. We are sharing it permanently, every day, by just being and it is very joyful to show such vitality!

451. It is my experience, too to see a lot of people, including myself, react without realising it.

     1. Yes Christoph, just because I/we are aware of the jealousy of others does not make me/us immune from feeling jealous myself/ourselves.

452. “There are tons of ‘Before and After’ photos of students of The Way of The Livingness that are quite jaw-droppingly remarkable. The first thing I always notice is the change in the eyes.” These photos are really a living testament to the transformations that people have made to their lives thanks to the teachings of Serge Benhayon and the Ageless Wisdom. People such as you Nicola, who knew that something had to change in their lives, but until they met Serge could not quite pinpoint what it was. And all Serge did was to present the fact that we had lost touch with our own connection to our true selves and has guided us gracefully back to the path so that we can return to who we are. Your photos speak a thousand words, and your eyes speak thousands more. What more evidence do we need?

453. I love how you share what you experienced when you first met Serge Benhayon “That meeting re-ignited in me a true connection to myself and through that, to life and all others. It started the return from my After back to my Before”. You have so beautifully put into words exactly what I felt and experienced – here was a man sharing pure love and joy with all equally.

454. Thank you for sharing your joy Nicola – it can be clearly seen and felt in you both – the sparkle in the eyes speak volumes.

455. Nicola the joy that you live with is clearly reflected through your photo with such majesty and brilliance, and when met by you in person the inspiration from your lived joy is heart-warming and contagious to no end, inviting all to join in the celebration of living the joy of our Love.

456. Women in particular are very good at doing comparison, the hand-maiden of the more wrathful jealousy. If we learnt to appreciate and feel inspired rather than compare and go into bitterness, anger or sorrow, that would go a long way indeed to off-setting the potential for full-blown jealousy. Other women are not the enemy, they are gorgeous companions with whom we can connect and share.

457. They say jealousy is a green-eyed monster but that is far, far too restrictive – jealousy is green-eyed, brown-eyed, blue-eyed, black-eyed, hazel-eyed… No one is immune to the force of jealousy if the openings are there for it to come through us!

458. We are from heaven and we are divine in nature. With the embodying of joy, a natural piece of heaven shines through us for all of us to see and be reminded of. No wonder we get cranky when we receive our reminder of what we chose to walk away from!

     1. Jealousy and a negative reaction to love and joy for me proves that there is part of us that actually enjoys suffering and is very proud of the lesser existence it has created. For why else would we reject the very thing we want most?

459. It’s interesting how people react when someone makes a positive change and doesn’t hold back from sharing that. If jealousy comes back, you can take it as a sure sign you must be doing something good to provoke such a response!

460. The Universal Medicine student community is remarkable. We don’t have perfect lives (nor claim to) and we manifest illnesses just like anyone else. But the vitality many of us now live means we not only often look noticeably different to the general community, we have healthier bodies to present to our medicos if and when we do become ill. Re-embodying the natural sparkiness we are and once had as children makes sense on every level.

461. Your story Nicola is instrumental in illustrating the power of not holding back despite the reactions of others. As your ‘Before’ shots reveal, shutting down your joy was clearly not a great idea (and never going to work anyway – your joy is palpable and irrepressible!) and it is great to see you are living it in full, and fully prepared for what might come your way.

462. The definition of jealousy provided here feels spot on. If you allow yourself to feel jealousy when it comes up for you, or have been at the end of a particularly enraged jealousy, you will know the truth of this definition. There is a definite force that comes through the jealous person, which can wreak all sorts of havoc from disharmony to revenge scenarios that can last for years if not centuries.

463. I love that you have returned to your natural state of joyfulness Nicola and the photos tell it so. I saw you walk by at an event yesterday and I was struck by how lovely you looked. I recall meeting you nearly a decade ago and yes, the change has been profound – as it has been for so many of us. There is much to be appreciated.

464. I feel that there can be a tendency to react against the before and afters – I know I have myself – because they sometimes come across as some kind of magical transformation from zero to hero, from issue central to issue-free, all smiles forever more – and that’s just not true. Universal Medicine has helped so many reconnect back to their natural and innate sense of inner joy, but there is no perfection, nowhere to get to, and we are all forever learning, And in that, there’s no judgment. Others may react, and abuse must never be tolerated, but we also have a responsibility to tell our stories in a way that includes and accepts all others and their choices, wherever they are on their own journeys, with the understanding that essentially, underneath it all, and any potential reactions, we’re all the same.

     1. Hear hear Bryony – thanks for raising this point. We need to be real and honest when we share our stories – it’s not always a walk in the park, but a forever learning and developing.

465. I absolutely love looking at the before and after photos of Universal Medicine students…oh my! The difference is enormous… especially as you say Nicola ‘in the eyes’. For so many to have transformed, must be proof in itself that something is true about the way students are choosing to live.

466. I love looking at your photos Nicola and seeing how the perplexed look in your eyes has been replaced by a genuine sparkle and a complete knowing of who you are. Its a look that is seen in so many of the Before and After photos of people who have like you, re-claimed something very joyful from within our selves and are not afraid to show the world how beautiful we are.

467. It is so true that within we all know the truth of who we are, we all know what Love is and we know when we feel it. We all feel energy and actually live by our response or reaction to the energy we feel on a daily basis. Be it ignoring what we feel, not wanting to be honest, masking what we feel or responding with what we feel in a loving way or honoring the truth that we feel. Either way we are still reading energy the difference being the degree of awareness to what we are feeling and the choice we make in that moment of how we move in response to what we feel.

468. Thank you Nicola, My body had goose bumps reading this beautiful blog, my body simply said yes to everything you presented, I love the after and before photos, they are a great reminder to really appreciate your path of return,,

469. It is such an important point you share here Nicola about how we as a society often react to another expressing their joy. We tend to cut and shut people down, children included, with terms such as ‘grow up’ or ‘your full of yourself’ or ‘your gloating or showing off’ all purely stemming from comparison and jealousy, from feeling how we are not choosing to live with joy in our lives and that we do not want to be reminded of this. This is a root evil of the turmoil we find ourselves in today as a whole, the dis-ease of this era, why we live in so much protection from the hurts we feel of not living our joy, and so comfort ourselves with filling our lives up with the material ‘enchantments’ from the world outside ourselves. As when we do re-connect to our Love within that is ever-present, the expression of joy in natural and we realise that it is ‘our’ choice to live it in full or not, regardless of how it is received. As it is in honor of all, that the joy of who we are is lived.

470. There is so much in your blog Nicola, so many layers of change, choice and understanding presenting such a powerful impact. I am surprised at the sadness I felt when i read about the ‘jealousy’ that can be exposed and the change in friendships but your blog has helped to anchor this in the clarity and transparency you offer. In this first reading (for I know I will return many times) the comment that stands out for me is – ‘The expression of love is first and foremost energetic, so whilst the photos show a transformation, it is even felt in a dark room with the lights turned out’ – this is very true and can be clearly felt. What you are sharing is available to everyone and it is through a simple choice that returning to who we truly are can be put in place. It is so beautiful having your amazing light and the light of many others now gracing the earth reflecting what is possible. In deep appreciation of all that Serge Benhayon has brought through and the commitment of students all over the world – thank you.

471. Thank YOU for sharing the joy Nicola. I agree that the eyes say it all. Without a doubt the eyes of the students of The Way of the Livingness are alive with presence, alive with knowing and living in connection to their Soul. A sparkle that cannot be faked or photo-shopped as it is a quality that comes from within. A sparkle that represents the joy that it is to live the Love we are, a sparkle that represents our Divinity, every single one of us.

472. I love looking at these photos, I love seeing the tangible difference that happens from committing to living a life of love – the photos say it all, you guys look amazing.

473. Yet again fantastic before and after photos that speak a 1000 words. You can’t argue with facts.

474. It is interesting how you share about your friend’s reaction to the photos and to you changing your life. I have experienced this also and at one stage worried about being “up myself” because I felt so great and was afraid to live and express that as so many in street so to speak, don’t feel like I do and would react to me but I love going to work, I love waking up and do so easily each day early without an alarm. I enjoy doing the dishes and even walking to the bin to take the rubbish out. It really doesn’t matter what it is that I must do, I make the most of it. Feeling great at work, and enjoying our everyday does not seem to be the norm, but I make it my norm. At the end of the day, its not really about what I do, its about how I am while I am doing it. This has not always been in my awareness and I used to hate doing dishes, think work was a drag and everything seemed quite a mission to get through and getting out of bed was always an effort. I am so glad that I have changed that all around. What a waste of a lifetime when we can change the energy we are living with and change our perspective on life.

475. I love how in the photos you show us here Nicola, at age 43 there is a big ice cream in the foreground, and then at 53, the shirt you wear reflects the same colour and sweetness. It really is a beautiful metaphor for how you have stopped seeking JOY in food and things and started to wear your Love on open display in every thing you do. Look forward to seeing the stunning joyful steps you both take next.

476. “However, you cannot kill love or joy – it is eternal, always there and who we are!” What a cracker of a blog Nicola and the joy is seen and felt. Thank you for sharing the universal joy!

     1. I love this line. Love is impossible to kill and forever asking us to return to all the love we naturally are and gave a divine right to be living.

477. It is always interesting how we are prepared to unite in misery more than we unite in joy as you discovered when you were younger, Nicola. Its like we can only cope with life if we know that someone is having as many problems or is as miserable as we are and we enjoin that. I have also known the feeling of joining with misery in the past and it feels pretty awful now. To feel true joy is a choice we make and it is quite astounding that truly joyful people are often criticised and resented- it must be because we all innately know the reflection of joy, and jealousy arises when we are not making the choice to live it but another person is!

478. When you think about it, it’s a really strange phenomenon when we get enraged by the joy of another. I have felt it myself and can absolutely attest to the fact that it is fury at myself for not having made the same loving choices as the one I am jealous of, however, I have also been able to see through the vile deception that this reaction tangles us in and have accepted the inspiration being offered simply by the living joy of another. This is what is healing the self-fury boiling away within. Choose the rage and fury and thats what we get more of. Choose inspiration and we turn the fury into appreciation. It’s magic.

479. Your photos tell all – the difference is stunning! The amazing spark and openness in your eyes in the after photos speak more than a thousand words. It feels truly inviting and including and no guard whatsoever.

     1. That’s it- there is no guard in these photos at all. Just a beautiful openness that invites all to join the joy and love.

480. What a great lesson for us all, Nicola, to not hold back the joy we feel based on the choices we have made to live in a more gentle and harmonious way with our bodies and others. Just recently I caught myself lowering that joy while speaking with various friends and family members who are experiencing different difficult times (with cancer, jobs, and family partners) but when I realised I was doing this out of sympathy I actually shifted and did not hold back how well I felt and how things had been going quite easily for me. This is the only way to eventually inspire others because if we hold back that joy we would eventually just have everyone running around miserable with no reflection of joy to help people make changes in their choices that could lead to them feeling it themselves.

481. “It seems that when we start to reconnect to and express who we truly are at essence, it can have quite a dramatic effect on others. Some are inspired and it can ignite a process of healing and transformation in them, as happened with me when I met Serge Benhayon.” Yes, this too happened to me and continues to do so. I am eternally grateful for the amazing reflection Serge and his family brings to humanity.

482. This is just what I needed to hear tonight Nicola. Thank you.

483. The eyes have it, the light and sparkle in them is gorgeous with both of you in these after photos.

484. Nicola, this is such a powerful blog and is so true of my experience of jealousy and the reactions that people can have when we stand in the joy that we are. It is something that can be hard to take and it is so important that we understand exactly what is coming at us and what is being expressed. If we understand it, it helps us not to take it personally and not to go down that path of shutting down again.

485. This is awesome Nicola. I can see that jealousy is very harming to the one feeling it as it prevents us from taking the steps we need to take to return to who we are. It is awful to feel jealousy directed towards us too, however, I have found that it affects me far less when I am able to let myself feel it and acknowledge it.

486. Nicola, the way you describe your job underneath this blog, fills my body with joy and spaciousness as my particles re-jiggle and expand with this –
     “it is a 24/7 job, a lot of fun and one that she plans to never retire from. Her job is to be, live and express the love that she is in everything she does!”

487. The strange thing is that Nicola was absolutely gorgeous 20+ years ago when I met her. Yes, the contrast is quite striking but Nicola was actually amazing, beautiful and gorgeous even then. Imagine what Nicola is now …

     1. It is so gorgeous Christoph to read and feel your expression of love for Nicola. You two are amazing and a super reflection for couples everywhere.

     2. I love what you are saying Christoph, it simply shows that there is so much more to us than we allow us to be. There is a potential in us that is never ceasing pulling us to be more in every moment.

     3. thank you my super gorgeous husband – it is such a joy to share this life with you ❤

488. I love this line “However, you cannot kill love or joy – it is eternal, always there and who we are!” YOU CANNOT. It makes all the sense in the world to work on your own love before there is comparison by moving focus on appreciating anything about you. Dis-allow those thoughts — Dis-qualify them! They do not help anyone. Whatever you’re comparing? Feel that in you. You must know it to compare… love who you are, love what you do. If you cannot, start with nominating why you give your power to the thoughts and the self-abuse YOU allow.

     1. You never need to “work” on love as it is who we are. Funnily enough we work very hard on not expressing and living the love we are which is why we get so exhausted. We have everything upside down and back to front – when we stop working on not being love and when we stop trying to be love and stop trying to get it etc etc than we find we already are it!

489. “However, you cannot kill love or joy – it is eternal, always there and who we are!”
     The truth in the expression of this statement is both powerful and joy-full Nicola. Another wake-up call to the fact that Love is eternal, just waiting for us to return to it within.

490. So, when I meet another person I have a choice – do I see the origin in them or how they live against it. Do I want them to be in a special way for me, do I need them to be in any way for me because I am not in the fullness of my being (not confirming me) – than I am not offering my origin and can’t see off cause theirs.
     My choice from where and to what I am connecting to. My choice brings me Joy or no Joy.

491. Also on Unimedpedia we find a great definition of Joy: It is a confirmation. A confirmation of our origin. We come and go back to our origin what is Harmony, Love, Truth, Stillness. So, when I meet in harmony another harmony impulse – they confirm each other = Joy. 🙂
     The poor imitation of this is to confirm us in our misery and found us ‘together’ with that. But it is an illusion. How can we connected when we ‘connect’ over our separation? Does not make sense or work at all. Thats why it is no joy to live like that. 😉

492. The joy reflected and seen in your eyes now Nicola simply jumps out of the screen and is very infectious and inspiring. The enormous changes you have both made is so real and true and shows the world what we can all do with the love and consistancy of our choices and the way we live .

     1. And it’s so welcoming. Seeing joy like that in a persons eyes feels like a beautiful welcoming hug.

493. Once you begin to feel the Joy, there is no doubt about it, it cannot be contained!! So go Nicola, keep sharing the joy and becoming lighter, brighter, clearer and more and more awesome reflecting back to all of us what a true woman, and Son of God can look like.

494. It’s so true what you’ve shared Nicola about how the ‘after’ photos from the Before and After project are actually very different to what we might associate ‘after’ shots to be. From what I’ve seen people often post ‘after’ pictures on social media and in articles after a tough and intense period of going to the gym more or dieting to lose weight, whereas as you’ve shared your ‘after’ came about not from pain or strenuous effort to lose weight but from simply making more considerate and loving choices for your body. How amazing is that!

     1. I agree Susie. There is an amazing other dimension to these after photos. Nicola and Christoph’s openness and authority of love and joy is palpable.

495. “I am now 59 and looking and feeling younger, fitter and even more gorgeous and joyful and I can feel there is no end!” There is no end Nicola thus is the joy and beauty in reconciling the relationship with self and God + also in-line, how much equalness we hold each and everyone in – the same love for all. The latter is just a gorgeous feeling. How can you love everyone equally? How is there time? Love you by deeply taking care of yourself and allow it all out when you meet another.

496. I agree with Nicola that it is seen first and foremost in the eyes, there is such a huge change in the vitality and the energy in the eyes. That is our greatest marker to how we are living and seen so often in the before and after shots of the students of the Way of the Livingness.

497. I also love the exposure you bring to societal expectations and love of comfort in the status quo. As many have said we can choose to be inspired by the deepening love someone has for themselves or reject the reflection because we simply don’t want to go there ourselves. You have also reconfirmed for me how important it is to read another’s reactions so that it isn’t taken personally but seen for what it really is.

498. Thank you Nicola for this brilliant blog. Your before and after photos are incredible, the joy and spark in both your eyes are stunning. What you’ve shared is inspiring me to be more aware of jealousy, the Unimedpedia of jealousy is awesome to read. To understand why we would choose jealousy assists us to not react or take it personally when we receive it and therefore not absorb it.

499. Nicola, I had an experience recently feeling very joyful, loving and put in place changes that would be deeply supportive and appreciative of a team. The result was people worked very hard to bring that down, create drama where there was none. I reflected on your post and saw that jealousy gets in the way and even though its “not nice” to see it our choice to block out feeling that jealousy is one of the reasons why we have it in our society. Your example of the stunning changes in your life and others lives proves the incredible difference we can make through our choices and the fury that occurs when we don’t. I’ve also been furious at others for the choices I’ve not made before so I can relate to both sides.

     1. Hi David, the changes you have made sound amazing. If some people are expressing jealousy you can take it as a confirmation of your awesomeness and know that they have been inspired even if at that moment they are not able to connect to that!!

500. It is my willingness to heal my hurts that greatly supports me on my path of return. We are all returning to who we truly are, with the simple choice being to walk that path of return or to resist, resist responsibility and facing ourselves. Taking responsibility for my life and my choices has been the game changer.

501. I also notice the look from the eyes that changes in these Before and After photos, and of course the de-bloating, clean complexion and very often weight loss. But you mention a super important thing that’s not instantly recognized in a photo; that the Students of the Way of The Livingness invariably start to lead more engaged and loving lives as part of their family and wider community. I know that my own commitment to life, love and work has developed as I understand and embrace life from an energetic understanding as well as a super practical one.

502. “ you cannot kill love or joy – it is eternal, always there and who we are!” What more confirmation do we need Nicola! To allow ourselves to be all that we are, knowing that we are this endless state of being.

503. Nicola one of the lines that you have shared ‘I am now 59 and looking and feeling younger, fitter and even more gorgeous and joyful and I can feel there is no end!’ really says so very much just in itself. Yes we often hear how people have changed something about the way that they live and feel better as a result but the words ‘gorgeous and joyful’ combined with ‘I can feel there is no end’ really convey such an amazing expansion and a neverendingness to the possibility of forever feeling more.

504. ‘ I came to believe there was something wrong with me. It did not occur to me that there was something wrong with everyone else’. I love how you have highlighted this Nicola, because it is my feeling most of us have felt this as a child, it was certainly my belief too, and then I also stopped expressing and stopped trusting in myself. The thing is when we stop trusting in ourselves, it is impossible to trust others, which leads to struggle and complication which was my ‘ old life’. Now I can share that my life is super simple and the more I trust myself, the more life flows with so much support available.

505. Continue being your joyful, claimed self Nicola, a glorious reflection for all others. It may provoke reaction in some, many others will be inspired and want to know more.

506. Pictures don’t lie, and your after photos feel so much more lighter. I am also one of the students of the Way of the Livingness and I also notice the huge difference in my eyes. Before coming to Universal Medicine courses, my eyes were dull, blank, and pretty lifeless! Now when I look in the mirror they just shine back at me and are full of light as a result of all the many lifestyle changes I have made to self-care and self-love. They do say, the eyes are the windows to our Soul.

507. The difference in your photos is striking Nicola. The guardedness and protection is simply not there anymore. There is an openness and loveliness that has emerged, and a radiance that shines. Just gorgeous.

508. The joy of being who we are is unstoppable, it’s true people can hate what it brings up in them, but I find joy is in being connected to something so much greater than being human, so human emotions and reactions cannot touch it – it’s so much grander.

     1. Yes, I completely agree Meg – it is heavenly 🙂

509. Thank you for sharing your joy and shining on regardless of the reactions of those who are jealous of the choices you have made. It is inspiring how you have chosen to not react to your old friend’s jealousy and continue your return to the joy you so naturally expressed as a child.

510. However much we may dull, suppress or hide our joy and love for whatever reason it is, as you say Nicola, “you cannot kill love or joy – it is eternal, always there and who we are!”

511. By the end of this article it is clear to see that jealousy is something that we choose to do to eachother in reaction to the realisation of how we have been very unloving with ourselves. However, I feel that it is important to say that, when you see someone choosing jealousy you have a responsibility to be all the love that you are with them, because as much as it is their choice, we must not ever judge another person for the choices that they make.

     1. A very important point Shami. It can be very easy to justify to ourselves feeling judgement or dismissiveness towards another, but in so doing there is no love, no equality. There may not be jealousy but instead a whole plethora of equally abusive traits.

512. I so love the before and after photos and it definitely is in the eyes and the joy in the faces. It reminds me to try and hunt down some old photos of me and do a before and after as I’m sure the contrast will also be huge.

513. As you say, Nicola, it is all in the eyes. There is no way that one can fake the joyful shining eyes you both have nowadays. It is only through living with joy and connection to yourselves, each other and to your divine essence that the love can beam out for all to feel, and then either be inspired by or react to as a reflection of what they too could be living but are not.

     1. Yes the eyes have it. I was also struck by the delicateness and openness I could feel in Nicola’s chest in the after photo. The warmth and loveliness is palpable.

514. To be attacked is normal amongst us humans although not natural. To protect ourselves is a false concept, because protection itself is an attack on our essence. To express who we truly are is the healing medicine.

515. Your sharing also made me aware of how important it is to share my joy and my lightness and the beauty of my essence and not allow people to reduce me to something like “you look great because you are slim”. Because then they forever try to be as slim as me, whilst this is not my focus or purpose in life at all and they miss out on what truly counts – to connect to your essence and build that connection by nurturing and caring for it.

516. When I look at and feel the couple picture, what particularly strikes me is the dullness in Christophs face and then in the more recent picture to see his spark and the cheekiness. This shows me how we are perceived by someone is determined by how we feel inside and what we then emanate out much more than our physical features and “looks”.

517. Yes interesting to look at the pictures and allow yourself to feel them. Even though you look really pretty in the before picture with 45yrs, Nicola – you seem a bit stunned and your body is much more closed off and protected, whereas with the older picture – it is so touching to see your openness, fragility and delicateness and even the body posture is different, your shoulders are more open. Great sharing!

518. Holding back our joy doesn’t serve anyone. To evolve the reflection of what is possible is super important and this certainly is what you are showing us here in these photo’s alongside hundreds of others and is a testament to The Way of the Livingness.

519. It is easy to forget that it is sometimes difficult for people to digest the joy of another. Our buried hurts get in the way of truly celebrating others. As we learn to celebrate ourselves, we can then also appreciate and be inspired by those who are perhaps walking a few more steps ahead of us.

520. With all the pride, jealousy and nonsense in the mix I become more and more aware of the importance and power of rolling over and showing our vulnerability and fragility. Moments of my willingness to do this have been transformative in my life and I choose to go there more and more.

521. Nicole I really love following expression: “It started the return from my After back to my Before . . . ” How many people can say that they are able to return to who they truly are? There are not many and therefore it is a great joy and also an inspiration that you are sharing your transformation so openly.

522. This is an inspiring blog Nicola and many will be amazed at the changes brought about by people who have committed to changing their lives around through becoming a student of The Way of The Livingness as presented by Serge Benhayon. Learning to self nurture and love self first that then leads to true love for others.

523. Any reaction made to the visual changes (weight loss, vitality, joy etc) really are confirmation even if sometimes it comes across as being negative. Observation offers a moment to bring understanding to what really is going on.

524. In my experience, achieving popularity comes at a huge cost to the self, because there’s a ‘giving away’ of your true self to fit into whatever the picture is of what being popular looks like.

     Interesting that standing out as being different and not popular also has a cost to the self when one is singled out, ridiculed or abused for not fitting in. Best to just be yourself – to love, honour and nurture yourself no matter what is happening around you!

525. This is brilliant and so true “I came to believe there was something wrong with me. It did not occur to me that there was something wrong with everyone else.” Most of us grow up feeling that we don’t fit in when in truth it’s the world that is upside down. I had a family member who was jealous of the amazing and enormous changes in the lives of students of Universal Medicine that she said the before and after blogs and photos were just an advertising gimmick of Universal Medicine to get more clients and workshop participants. It’s amazing what people will say or what extremes people go to to avoid feeling their self fury at the past choices they have made.

526. Reflections of truth present us with a choice, we can embrace the fact that we are also that, and begin to heal our separative ways, or we can react and deny the fact and stay in our self-created misery. When we choose truth we choose it for all.

527. These later photos beautifully illustrate that the eyes are indeed the windows of the Soul. You are both sparkling with the knowing of who you are.

528. What an amazing celebration of you and all the changes you and Christoph have made Nicole. What shines through in all the photos is the eyes, the aliveness and joy in your eyes after is so obvious and beautiful to see. That joy can often indeed be a challenge to others, and indeed your story reminds me of how often as as child or young adult I damped down my joy and now it’s a journey as I relearn to live and be that joy more daily in my life, so thank you for sharing your joy today and reminding me of the joy I now live and show.

529. There is a great antidote for jealousy… to appreciate what we each bring, and we can be inspired by others who make the choice to live in a loving and dedicated way; to shine brightly in a world where a bit of lightening up is so needed. This is a choice we can all make to express the love and truth we innately are. Thank you Nicola for your joyful expression of you. Joy is one of our natural qualities and I find it is very contagious.

     1. Appreciation is a great antidote for jealousy, and it starts with appreciating ourselves and knowing that we are enough as we are all equal and all have access to the wisdom within us. Then there is no gap for jealousy to creep in… However, it is our own choices in how we live, in how we treat ourselves and how we treat others that will influence whether we get jealous or inspired, it is that simple. Self-love is key to appreciating self and then others.

530. It’s common to have someone say or put out the impression that we are gloating when we unreservedly celebrate the joy we can innately feel when we are in connection with our bodies. Ultimately in a world where everything in energy, the energy of love exposes the energy others choose to live with which isn’t love — love is joy, stillness, harmony without an ounce of emotion in it but with an innocence and wonderment that cannot but be seen and felt. We are all naturally meant to feel this and indeed live this, and yet most of us have walked away from this true way of being. That’s the ill choice we don’t want to feel and hence the reaction, the jealousy and the accusation of gloating to those that reflect the choice to return to this true and glorious way.

531. Our reactions could be seen as light bearers, showing us where it is we need to bring more love and attention. If we have an issue with others it is usually highlighting that which we have not dealt with in ourselves.

532. Nicola, you’re 59 years young, a general manager and director of two companies as well as your voluntary and community work…I mean most people are staring down the barrel of retirement at this age and can’t wait. How can we not be inspired by your absolute zest for life. A life with purpose is on display here! Well worth a documentary thank you very much!

533. I find it inspiring that as you are getting older, you’re actually returning to your youth, or rather the joy and fun you had when you arrived. It completely turns the idea of old age and what that looks like on it’s head!

534. The explanation around jealousy makes perfect sense and has really helped me bring understanding to how I’m feeling whenever it does creep in. As well as what it means, it also is a good marker and reminder that we need to come back to appreciation of ourselves.

535. Amazing Nicola! It was just yesterday I was sharing with a friend a quality about myself that I have destroyed over recent years. I was explaining that I’m taking the steps back to get to my ‘before’, and leave the ‘after’ behind me, just as you’ve described before and after photos being in fact the other way around!

536. Thank you Nicola for sharing the joy, I have hidden my joy in the past so as to not stand out and avoid rejection, coming from an old belief “don’t get to happy the other shoe might drop” I have found recently that someone in my life has cut me off from our relationship because of jealousy. This brings some sadness but also understanding that now is not their time.

537. If joy is medicine, then misery is very clearly one of the greatest diseases of our time.

     1. That is huge Kylie! Yes, misery is a pandemic disease and should be seen as that: a sickness which needs healing. The only medicine I know against this plague is ‘taking responsibility’. And this medicine has the JOY as cherry on the cake.

538. It’s true that no one can kill joy in another. We can only kill our own joy when we hand ourselves over to misery, and say ‘that’s it, I can’t take the jealousy any more’.

539. “Jealousy, I’d be surprised if you were not around, so there is no need for you to hide, and jealousy you can come and sit with me!”

540. Jealousy is a part of what we have accepted as normality in our present day world, it is not natural. What is natural then? Joy and Love are simply joyful and loving and who would not want to be that as it simply feels sooo natural. But how many of us really live Joy and Love consistently? If Love and Joy are truly natural and simply our Essence, nothing, not even jealousy can stop us from being us, as in being naturally who we are there is deep understanding as of why jealousy is rampant, there is also acceptance that this is what the majority have chosen in unawareness, but if we are so devoted to being ourselves there is simply no room for anything else.

541. What a transformation. The photo’s say it all and then some. When we see changes like this there really is no denying that the way we live contributes to our health and wellbeing or or ill-health.

542. I can relate to the feelings of jealousy when you see someone having more ease in life with something that you struggle with. It presses your buttons as you have to feel the consequences of the choices you have made so I can understand the reaction of your friend. When you do experience that joy it is something you naturally want to share as you want others to know what is possible too- this isn’t flaunting, it is our human nature. It is natural for people when experiencing love to want to share something we have found that works with others.

543. WOW, you two have returned to incredible joy. Looking at these photos one can see how committing to being all the love and joy you are makes an immense change in one’s life.

544. The before and after of you Nicola is outstanding and positively jaw dropping. Not only is the quality in your eyes remarkably different but the feeling of openness and tenderness in your shoulders and upper chest is exquisite.

545. Those who have chosen to be in joy through their way of living often do not want to be reminded that they have given up and that it is still possible to return to a truer way of living if they can but let go of their pride.

546. There is such a gentle building to this blog and I love the way you write Nicola. Gently escalating until you hit the home run with a complete expose’ of jealousy and how it can never destroy the Love and Joy we are from. Sure, it can tarnish and dampen our reflection if we let it, but ultimately it is up to us and the more we understand what the energy of jealousy actually is the more we can ‘read’ the meaning of it and not take it on.

547. Jealousy is an insidious emotion – as a receiver of it, and one who is jealous. I’ve felt both. As a receiver of jealousy, I can feel the energy that wants to cut me down, and put me in my place – and it can come from those closest to us. It isn’t their intention and it isn’t deliberate, that I know, but it is the self fury for not having made the choices for oneself that we see another has made that triggers the jealousy.

548. What pure joy Nicola in reading this. I love your humour and perspective on how you see things – it always brings a smile to my heart. This piece is no exception. I have had the exact reaction from a friend when I commented on a social media piece about being middle-aged and depressed. I dared to say that I wasn’t, and a really close friend came at me that she felt offended. So had I enjoined everyone else by saying how horrid middle-age is, that would have been ok. But to dare to say, actually, that’s not how I feel offends some people. It offends them for the very reasons you’ve called out here, they have to stand in and face their own choices – we all do. And if I’ve made ‘good’ ones, I’m not going to hide that.

549. Nicola, each time I see you, which may only be once a year, I feel how much more you have deepened your connection with yourself, and it is visibly apparent in your physical being. It is gorgeous to see you becoming more and more gorgeous, and striking to see your before and after photos. There is no denying that you, and many others who have chosen to ‘return to who they are’ thanks to the continual shared wisdom and inspration of Serge Benhayon, have made an incredible transformation to their lives simply by making different choices to the way they live. Its not rocket science, but it is challenging for those who are not ready to see that their own choices are not supporting them to live a true and healthy life.

550. “The graceful transformation that is reflected in these photos is showing a journey of us RETURNING, so really the After photos are us getting closer to who we truly are and were Before we took on all that is not the truth of who we are!” What a great realisation, Nicola, but yes, I also see that is the truth. We are all equally Sons of God living on this earth. But most of us are not living as that. We have forgotten who we truly are, quite amazing beings with so much potential. We have become so mired in all the problems in living our lives as we do, we have no recollection of the great beauty of who we are. But those who have begun to awaken to the truth begin to see our great potential, gradually can feel who we are, and we slowly transform ourselves BACK TO WHO WE TRULY ARE. This can take much awareness that develops over time, a willingness to take responsibility for ourselves, but it is so worth it, to discover more and more the joy of being who we truly are. Yours and Christoph’s photographs say it all. You are truly living life.

551. “but looking at it now, a large part of me was not there at all”…this line was a stand-out (amongst many stand-out lines). It is so true, when I look at your before (or any of the students, or my own), there is a large part of us missing. We are physically there but energetically we are holding back so much – we are in hiding. And from your after (or was that before 😉 ) shot, you can see what happens when you choose not to hold back and you start to bring all of you. You glow.

552. It’s true that we can reduce ourselves in size and hide our joy in order to not upset other people. It’s crazy! Surely it’s not our problem if others cannot deal with the fact that they are not choosing joy themselves.

553. “The first thing I always notice is the change in the eyes. There is such a joy, light, openness and presence in the After photos compared to the Before ones”. Yes, Nicola, I agree with you. In the Before photographs, and very clear in yours, there does not feel to be any true life, the eyes are so dull, they appear to be quite dead and empty, one can feel the hopelessness. Yet in your After photograph your eyes are absolutely sparkling, so absolutely full of life and engage your own quite dramatically, one is drawn to them to join in the fun. And this is the case with all of the Before and After photographs. The eyes say it all!

554. It is also worth noting that there is a difference with the kind of comments you get on these blogs compared to others outside this forum. There is an openness to discuss, to contemplate, and not an immediate ripping down and mocking. It is rare and makes commenting here a wonderful learning ground for commenting and expression.

555. Great blog Nicola. We underestimate the reaction we will get from others who are sometimes not even prepared to consider that the way we live is harming us. I have been that reacting person and I am now choosing to not react but be inspired. Every day there are more layers to understanding the energy that causes this ‘blindness’ and every day, or every moment I have yet another choice to make, to either choose to be inspired and make it an experiment for myself or to react and blame others for the state I find my health or my life in.

556. Nicola I am always blown away with the before and after photos seeing the transformation of people looking younger as they are getting older. It’s quite extraordinary and yours and Christoph’s are every much part of what I am seeing. These are rare experiences within the broader community as we are ageing very quickly and even though we may be living a long life by age, it is not a life where we are ageing well. So here is to you continuing to share your joy. If there is any reaction to that, so be it.

557. When you think about it, it seems completely illogical that we would choose to suppress our innate joy. Not only is this strange but it seems unfathomable that we would then spend our lives seeking joy from outside of ourselves, from our experiences, all of which distract us from our natural joyfulness and leave us jealous of those who chose to connect to that which is within. Thank you Nicola for offering a beautiful and inspiring reflection and reminder to us all of the joy that is within, that is futile to withhold and is in endless supply.

558. It’s great, essential in fact, to observe when others react to us, for whatever reason it may be, because then we can see it as their issue and not ours and not take it personally or react back but just love unconditionally.

559. I love your point that the before photograph is really the after and the after is the before as we are returning to the truth of who we are. so true.

560. You so right Nicola, your eyes in the before and after pictures look totally different. There is a dullness in the before photographs and an absolute clarity in the after photographs. The other thing I find is that I could look at the photograph of you after Universal Medicine for hours where as the one of you from before just does not have the same pull.

561. I love your last sentence: “However, you cannot kill love or joy – it is eternal, always there and who we are!” So it doesn’t matter how people respond: love, joy and truth are fact, a given consistency because it is what we are made of and it very hard work to maintain the character that is not us.

562. “It can be very confronting to be faced with love (which is an energy) because it exposes all that is not of love (i.e. not of that same energetic quality). This can bring up in us many hurts that we may or may not be ready or willing to deal with. It can also hurt our pride and show us that we are not as truly loving, clever or nice as we like to think we are.” Someone choosing love and making loving choices can be very inspirational, but at the same time highlights what we are not (yet) choosing and if we are willing to admit this to ourselves we can go either be inspired or react with jealousy, frustration or another emotion.

     1. Brilliant, Monika: ‘we can either be inspired or react with jealousy…’ in every moment and our every observation we can either further berate ourselves for all the mistakes we have made or appreciate how far we have come to be able to observe ourselves and life more honestly and so, be inspired to make whatever incremental changes are needed.

563. If we look at the “after” pictures (which truly are “before” pictures – haha!) we can measure our resistance to love, if we find flaws in them.

564. It is true joy can make some people so uncomfortable that they do whatever it takes to shut it down in another. I’m still coming to understand the full impact of this in my life and choosing to be all of me and not turn another’s reaction against myself. One thing I’ve noticed and have to be honest with is the chain reaction I’ve had with other’s joy. I caught myself reacting impatiently to another’s natural joy and fun as silliness and annoying. It was great to feel how this played out and to simply appreciate that they love expressing in that way and they aren’t shut down from reactions.

565. How great we are at fooling ourselves, thinking we have a great time, while we are hardly present in our bodies and if we would ask our bodies we would get a completely different answer, for the things we did and sometimes do to our bodies by what we eat and drink and how we think and move are harming it greatly.

566. I always love looking at the before and after photo’s from Universal Medicine students, the change in their eyes has something so magical I just have to look. Like a magnet is pulling. Their eyes are bright, light, and have an openness and a depth that is beyond words and also their eyes clearly reflect to me that we are not from here, that we are all divine beings on our way back home.

567. Being Joyfull can bring up big reactions, as in truth we all know we are this joy. It is a choice to be inspired, or choose the self-fury that jealousy is. It destroys a lot when we are not aware of it.

568. Your blog is calling for responsibility Nicola. How can it be different, only if we choose true responsibility – learning to be consciously present at all times (without perfection) – we are to experience joy. A feeling of oneness, appreciation, wonderment, gratitude, divinity etc. To let go of the self fury is still for me a way to go! Reading this blog and pondering on it now makes me aware that I actually am to either let it go or seek support to at least admit it and start working on it.

569. ” It seems that when we start to reconnect to and express who we truly are at essence, it can have quite a dramatic effect on others. Some are inspired and it can ignite a process of healing and transformation. Others can be enraged.” This is so true, I was so inspired to start my healing process once I met Serge Benhayon, however know many who where enraged and walked away from healing and instead chose to continue a life of indulgence.

570. ’It can be very confronting to be faced with love (which is an energy) because it exposes all that is not of love (i.e. not of that same energetic quality). This can bring up in us many hurts that we may or may not be ready or willing to deal with. It can also hurt our pride and show us that we are not as truly loving, clever or nice as we like to think we are.’ Well said – it is interesting how many people fiercly defend their lifestyle and see it as critizism if someone else reflects another way – particularly if that reflection is true health and vitality.

571. Jealousy is the antithesis of any true learning and expansion. It shuts us down through reaction instead of embracing the inspiration from the other of what is available for us to live. It is crazy really why we do this because in truth we all want to be ourselves and live the joy and vitality it brings, so why react to an opportunity to be more?

572. Thank you Nicola – a much needed discussion. Jealousy can sometimes be easy to spot in others or feel in ourselves, but it can also be very subtle and if we are not truly discerning what is going on we can take on or pass on the awful affects of it.

573. I love coming back to this blog, looking at your photos, seeing the transformation in both of you. It is quite miraculous how much younger and more vital you feel and look and how much better is your dress sense!!!! That is something else I have noticed with the student body not only are we looking younger as we get older but our dress sense has improved no end.

     1. I completely agree Mary-Louise. I love my clothes and my body and dress to express and share myself these days whereas in the past I used to dress to hide. Natalie Benhayon has been a huge inspiration to me in learning to express the true woman I am (still under development!) and Serge Benhayon has been a mega inspiration to me in reconnecting to my purpose in life and allowing myself to express my love, truth and joy without holding back.

574. I felt liberated by your sharing here Nicola. It is a choice to lift the shackles and connect with the truth of our inner beauty, our divinity.

575. It is a sad state that we find ourselves in where instead of celebrating the growth of others, we so often choose to try to crush that which we a afraid will expose us in our own choices to be less than who we are. A success for one of us is a success for us all.

576. Nicola what a joyful sharing. I love that your living is your 24/7 job and you will never retire from it. The world needs you and all of us who are willing to step up into our light and shine that joy that was so long ago so suppressed. It is now time -no excuses. Thank you for leading the way.

577. It is so easy to blame someone else for the results of my own choices…just that it does not bring any healing or joy – but the opposite. It is a trying to get away with something – but there is no chance in fact. And that is good. In fact it is an act of true love. My free will ridden me in to the position I am right now – and it is my chance to get out again.

578. As you Nicola I was very joyful as a child but learned to turn it down to fit in. So the joy you can see in my ‘after’ photos is in fact the joy I did return back to. And off cause it is a challenge for everyone to see something expressed you did shut down to but miss now. We do a lot to fit in, and the harm we create through this action – to ourselves and to others – is not little. But it is possible to claim it back and express the joy we had have as children again and the funny thing is that I found it back in taking responsibility.

     1. I love this, Sandra. You re-found your joy and playfulness by taking responsibility. This gets me looking at the meaning of words and how we have messed with them. Thank you.

        1. Exactly Matilda – I found my joy in purpose and I find great joy in responsibility.

579. I have felt the fierce blows of jealousy coming towards me when I’ve done absolutely nothing other than walk into a room, which in truth is not ‘nothing’ at all, when a simple movement shows true joy!

     I also have felt in my body the impact of being the one to deliver the fierce blow of jealousy, and boy oh boy is it huge. The reality is that I feel the harm in me first (i.e., the self-fury). Second the person it’s directed to feels the harm, then knowing that I said something harming to another person comes back to me again as a big ouch. Not only is it not worth it to hold jealousy, it’s also quite absurd knowing that we are each one of us amazing divine beings just by being our true selves.

580. I love what you say, Nicola, that ‘the expression of love is first and foremost energetic, so whilst the photos show a transformation, it is even felt in a dark room with the lights turned out.’ This is so true and from my experience, I know that it’s not so much about defining the ‘details’of an image that are different, but the fact that whoever sees an After photo cannot help but feel the love and joy that radiates from the person. Having said that, it is definitely in the eyes that I see it first, and from there, the smile that is a true expression of joy that cannot ever be mimicked.

     You and Christoph Schnelle look glorious!

581. Jealousy is a deadly poison. The only remedy is to live one´s potential in full.

582. “Serge Benhayon, a man who does not hold back in living and expressing the pure Love, Joy and Truth that he is (and that we all are at essence)” – describing the simplicity of living a life dedicated to who we truly are, i.e. ‘pleasing to God’ or expressed truthfully living a soulfull, divine life.

583. Do you know the feeling of being ashamed or shy to let everyone see how good you feel especially when others feel less good? We sense the disturbance and tension we cause when contrasting one´s state of being, exposing the fact that the misery they hold on to is their own creation, a consequence of their choices and often that there is no willingness to change but rather the tendency to indulge in it. To handle the tension can be experienced as very difficult even more so when being attacked by jealousy. It cannot be stressed enough how important it is for all of us to withstand the destructive intensity of jealousy both as the one being jealous and the recipient. In both positions it is a matter of truthfulness and responsibility as only when we are willing and choosing to be all of us will we all return to the fullness of who we are. We need to reflect each other our divine essence. Jealousy is an energy and consciousness designed to fight divinity and as history proves has robbed humanity of many great people and teachings that were attacked by those in resistance and denial. We can change history every day by living who we truly are.

584. To deal with one´s jealousy and the underlying route cause is challenging. It takes great honesty and eventually responsibility to admit to the lack of one´s choices and actions and then the activation of what needs to be done because we know it is what we actually want and it is the time to do it. We are not only accountable for what we do but to who we are, either living our potential that is just waiting to be expressed or holding it back and therefor creating a tension and disharmony within ourselves that gets triggered when seeing someone else living what we deny ourselves to live – our innermost truth.

585. This powerful definition of jealousy made so much sense and added so much more understanding and also helped me to take responsibility for any jealousy i felt.

586. Ahh, I see now what is happening with your friend and what I can feel sometimes when others around me aren’t interested in the changes I’ve made. On the one hand, people say how we look different, more vibrant or they can see or feel a change in us, but they don’t often want to know any more about it. I thought it was because they thought that it’s not accessible to them. And I now understand it’s the jealousy they feel when they see our connection back like we all felt as small children, and they are deeply missing that. I know I have shut down previously, been quiet in the past to not upset others, but now I’m staying shining brightly for all to feel it, and not compromise myself any more.

587. I love this concept of the before being actual being the after as it denotes a return to what you once were….and let me say it is glorious.

     1. It’s very true. We are returing to that which we left, dulled down etc. Our after photos are so out before photos and the before photos are the after we left who we truly are. Well said.

588. The joy is clearly felt, don’t let the party poopers take that away for that would be the worse thing that could transpire.

589. This is a very uplifting blog, growing up I worried so so much about being different and standing out. I wish I had read this back then, it would have really supported me to accept who I am.

590. Thank-you for sharing your joy with us Nicola, it is simply gorgeous.

591. Thank you for sharing this one Nicola. The reaction from your friend was interesting to read about as before and after photos are everywhere (usually related to weight loss programs/products though), yet they are not seen as gloating? I guess thats because this is so different as weight loss is not the main focus, the spark in the eyes are and the returning to who we naturally and innately are- which everyone has, yet not everyone chooses.

     1. Great point Emily, yes it is the joy, vitality and spark in the eye that so infuriates people. If it would only have been weight they would not have reacted in this way or might be a little envious, but not jealous which is an entirely different force.

592. “People who have found a true and simple way to live where they not only transform their health and vitality, thereby saving the bankrupt health systems of their countries a fortune” haha talk about taking responsibility for your health and your part in the world! It has an effect on everyone in one way or another 😉

593. Finding our inner-light definitely makes the outer glow!

594. I’ve been jealous of others before and still get jealous at times, but I know that it feels so much more lovely and freeing to choose to learn from and be inspired by another and their choices than to hold jealousy in my body against a fellow human being.

595. Nicola I admire how you are so open and hold steady in the face of others’ reactions to your choices, knowing that there is nothing wrong with you. I’ve observed that an attack often isn’t personal to us but personal to the individual it is coming through.

596. Imagine if we taught children that their true purpose/job in life is to be themselves and relieve them of the anxiety or pressure of achieving success according to societies values of what makes you happy.

597. There is definitely no killing the joy that shines from those eyes, just a delicate emanation that blesses us all.

598. There is such a lightness to these after photos Nicola reflecting the return to our true essence and a connection to joy which does not have to waver.

599. Dear Nicola,
     Jealously is such a harming, yet unfortunately, way to common way of expressing in our world today. What you share here shows just how much it impacts on our lives, wether that is our jealously or others. No matter how harshly the world responds to the absolute beauty that can be seen in students of Universal Medicine, we will continue to shine, and to tenderly, and gracefully continue to show all that there are other choices that can be made in how we live our lives.

600. Anyone can react to the joy, stillness, love, truth and harmony that others reflect as they are reminded of the choices that they have not made.

601. Part of our issue when we are suffering is that we want others to suffer with us.

602. Wow Nicola – the before and after pics say it all. It also brings up how easy it is for us to get jealous of how much people have changed – the perfect recipe for holding back. We feed a very vicious cycle by acting this way. But to claim our joy in full is to cut the cycle – to be a reflection and inspiration to others, And at the state the world is in, having a true reflection is do needed.

603. The before and after photos are some of my favourite things to look at, I love to see the changes – not always physically dramatic, but always the change in the quality of the eye, the truth of the smile.

604. Jealousy is such a strong force as you’ve shared Nicola, it can be an attack on others and/or a ‘personal attack on yourself’ as quoted from the Esoteric Teachings and Revelations book by Serge Benhayon. It’s important to note that this attack does not just occur verbally or outwardly, but it can play out through our thoughts and behaviours – a jealous state of mind wipes out self appreciation completely and this means that we are more likely to make abusive or disregarding choices that don’t honour our bodies or the amazing things we have in our lives.

     1. Awesome Susie and I totally agree. A foundation of jealousy or appreciation? When presented like this, the choice is very clear!

605. This is joy with a capital ‘J”O’ ‘Y’, and an awesome example of JOY being lived and reflected in a way of living. The best part about this is this JOY is available to everyone, and when we live who we truly are… I am learning to discover and live more joy, the more I live me!

606. We can’t afford to hold back the love and joy of who we are as humanity are crying out for inspiration – even if it does make them feel unsettled and a little cranky in the process!

607. Thank you for sharing your experience Nicola. There is no doubt about it, your after picture is a stunning reflection of the choices you have made to claim your joy back and live a life of truth, and I am sure that the day will come when your after picture will become the before picture, as you take your livingness deeper on the return journey back to your Soul, and God.

608. Although I don’t see you very often I have been witness over the years to your great transformation and to Christoph’s too and that is a joy. I feel it in your voice and the way you move and so appreciate that you are continuing to deepen your connection in this way. It brings a lovely quality to us all.

609. What a transformation, you can see and feel the joy and the sparkle in your eyes is gorgeous. What I love about this is it is not your normal before and after where it seems to be purely about body image and weight loss; while this has naturally happened what you are showing here is a different way to live and that you have returned to the joy and love you innately knew when you were younger. There is a much bigger picture at play here than it just being about ‘us’ (everyone on the planet) and our physical bodies; I feel a lot of people would be interested in finding out more about this, particularly with how our world, community and society is at the moment .. which as we know just by watching the news isn’t that great! I am a student of the Way of the Livingness and have had huge changes in my life one of the main ones being I am more committed and consistent in all I do and no longer want to run away the whole time. This is about TRUE evolution and something we very much need to bring into place now.

610. For most of my life I have been a person who has felt the poisonous daggers of jealousy, not from others but as a result of my jealousy of others. Nicola you are so right in saying that jealousy is an emotion towards ourselves. I can see so clearly now that every time that I felt it, it was because someone was showing me something that I hadn’t chosen for myself. And perhaps the worst of it all is that to limit my own potential pain I tried to lessen other people’s light.

611. You have exposed something very deep-rooted here Nicola when you say that people do not like to see others being joyful and literally full of themselves. They pretend that they do and of course there are always those who genuinely do want this for another but mainly what happens is the jealousy that then tries to destroy another. It just exposed how little joy most people have in their lives. Giving without joy is akin to walking around like the living dead.

612. For me this quote says it all “JEALOUSY is nothing more than self-fury. It is a personal attack on yourself for not doing what you knew had to be done, which is then vented outward to those who are doing what there is to be done.” Serge Benhayon, Esoteric Teachings & Revelations, p 123′ explaining that it always starts and ends with US. There is never anyone else to blame or compare ourselves to, it is always about our own choices.

613. I stopped reading when I read this phrase about becoming popular. This brings a whole topic here: what does it take to make us popular? What do we do, and what have we done to achieve popularity? What does achieving popularity really mean? Did it really help to be more ourselves? Or did it only help us to refine an expression of ours that made things seemingly easier but in truth more difficult? Does it really pay to be popular?

614. Nicola your photos and story are so worth celebrating, I am amazed at the before and afters, the difference in your eyes, skin, smile and presence. It asks a bigger question though, why do we not like it when someone changes their life and does really well? What if instead of being jealousy we started to truly celebration and appreciate each other?

615. I it find quite interesting how people who go into jealousy always find an image that comforts them and helps them to justify and divert their own self-fury.

616. Nicola, looking at the earlier photo of you with Christophe, you both seem to somehow stop just behind your faces. Your faces come across as walls, holding you both in and holding the world out. In complete contrast, in the after photos you both seem to come out from your selves and equally I feel able to come forwards towards you both, there are no walls or barriers, just a two way openness.

617. Everything about this blog is a joy. I cannot go past the description of your job –” it is a 24/7 job, a lot of fun and one that she plans to never retire from. Her job is to be, live and express the love that she is in everything she does!” This is absolutely priceless and definitely something that I am now inspired to live. Thank you, Nicola.

618. It is so great you highlighted what has happened to many of us when we were young and at times still happens now. We are so loving and joyful and another cannot handle the reflection, as they are not choosing to live these qualities. So they want to squash it out of us, anything to be free of the reflection. We need to understand what is going on so as to not take it personal and not diminish our love and joy.

619. The before and after in pictures is beautiful. The before and after in person is even better. This has been particularly amazing in how men relate to each other. In the past, we all were very guarded and distant from each other. Now, it is quite beautiful to feel how we relate to each other.

620. Nicola I was really struck by your photo and found myself looking at it for a long time, aware that the part of my brain that is used to categorizing and compartmentalizing every-thing was flapping around, not able to pigeon hole what it was seeing.

621. The before and after pictures have also made me more aware of the eyes. There is so much in them that reveal the truth if we are open to it!!! Thanks to this awareness, I now pay attention to the eyes and the face of people much more and what they reveal about them.

     1. I agree Eduardo – I once had a boss who smiled, laughed and tried to be your friend. Yet the eyes told you everything – there was nothing behind the smiles and laughter. Perhaps there is some truth to the expression ‘the eyes are the Windows to your soul.’

622. The before and after pictures are really revealing of a sea of change that happened in both of you as well as between you two.

623. A beautiful and inspiring sharing Nicola. Like many your beauty shines through in the second photo of you and Christoph showing the growth and Love you both share with all.

624. It is interesting how old friends can’t cope with the changes so many of us have made in our lives. They don’t want to change behaviours but resent us for doing so. A great exposure on the evil impact of jealousy – self-fury. Thankyou Nicola. Let’s continue to share the joy – it can’t be extinguished.

625. “you cannot kill love or joy – it is eternal, always there and who we are!” Beautiful Nicola it is often the jealousy of not living this love for ourselves that causes the harmful reactions and attacks on those living this from the connection to our essence as nothing else matters than this in reality with everything else missing the vital livingness of our connection and love.

626. Top photos Nicola on a top post here. In your face so to speak and why not. You me and thousands of others have had their life completely change since we met Serge Benhayon and made the choice to LIVE the teachings. Like you, friends fall away and that is ok. Today I have a handful of what I call true friends and strong allies. Those I consider that will be with me until my last breath.
     I met them through Universal Medicine events and trust them absolutely. That for me is worth millions.
     Never before have I been able to trust so openly and deeply.
     Thank you for sharing you with the world. Fresh air indeed.

627. When I look at the before and after photos it brings it home what others see when they meet someone who has made the positive changes in their lives and now live more joyfully, and I am sure it is at times a hard pill to swallow.

     1. I agree, Julie. Self-Love is very natural, though many don’t see it like that and thus, that outward self-rage which we know as jealousy. We all know it from being on both sides of the fence.

628. Nicola, I love it and have loved seeing how both you are Christoph has transformed over the years. As you say people either are inspired or go into reaction, not because of you but because of the choices they have or haven’t made. It goes to show when we take responsibility for our lives no matter what age we are we can truly turn our lives around.

629. Thank you for sharing this Nicola. I can relate to that assumption/perception that if someone has a problem with me that I instantly take it as something being wrong with me. It happens a lot and just mentioning now I can see more of how much of a kill-joy such criticism is. But what if their reaction is just that -their reaction- and nothing to do with me somehow being bad or wrong? All I know is that the confrontation of meeting love is uncomfortable and sometimes I and we all fight it but when approached and supported passed it, it is where the greatest growth has stemmed from in my life and the pictures prove this!

630. I love this blog Nicola!

631. Nicola, it is a gift to us all that you don’t hold back all that joy – your eyes say it all.

632. “However, you cannot kill love or joy – it is eternal, always there and who we are!” – Love this ending statement Nicola. No matter how much we storm at it in the denial that we have separated from it, it cannot be touched and so waits eternally for us patiently to make the choice to return.

633. I love the after and before photos Nicola. Perhaps we should have three photos – the before, after and before photos showing the natural joy, vitality and love we possess as a baby and young child, how we disconnect from that and how that affects us and then the reclaiming of it as we return to our essence.

634. “It can be very confronting to be faced with love (which is an energy) because it exposes all that is not of love (i.e. not of that same energetic quality). This can bring up in us many hurts that we may or may not be ready or willing to deal with. It can also hurt our pride and show us that we are not as truly loving, clever or nice as we like to think we are.” Agreed Nicola. I think in the second workshop I ever did with Serge my body literally started shaking and I got incredibly tearful and I simply couldn’t understand what was happening to me. This was of course a reaction in my body to the love I was feeling and being shown. This love was so profound that it literally caused a bodily reaction, but it was precisely because of the body reaction that I couldn’t override this profundity with my head or dismiss it!

635. Thank you Nicola. You were the first person that spoke to me when I went to see Serge Benhayon present for the first time. I remember reacting to you as I felt so far from where you were at that time. Now almost 6 years later I have a deep appreciation for all you have chosen. The reactions people have always show that the loveliness we bring has been clocked.

     1. wow thanks for sharing that Leonne. I didn’t know, but I do know what a super gorgeous naturally joyful person you are.

636. Thank you Nicola. I, too stopped expressing joy as a child, feeling the jealousy from those around me. I converted it to happiness which was far more acceptable to others but falls way short of the natural joy that was there to express. I kidded myself for a long time that this was a decent pay off, settling for comfort and niceness and avoiding reactions yet deep down I knew something was missing. It was from my connection with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine that I began my journey back to the joy that had not disappeared but was waiting patiently within for my return.

637. Wow what a blog Nicola! There is so much here to unpack. “So I stopped expressing, stopped being joyful, stopped trusting myself and comfortably joined in with others in being miserable but very functional and pretending I was not as miserable as I was. I became a lot more popular.” How true is this for all of us…? We dull our innate joy so that we can stop being a target and fit in to general misery and be liked by others. How daft is that? Much better to be joyful have a few barbed comments than give up on true expression.

638. “The graceful transformation that is reflected in these photos is showing a journey of us RETURNING, so really the After photos are us getting closer to who we truly are and were Before we took on all that is not the truth of who we are!” An astute observation Nicola. In the all the “Before” baby photos the beauty, joy and openness is there very clearly. It is sad to watch the transition into disconnection but gorgeous to see it all come back again especially in the photos of those who really lost it! The difference then in the “Befores” and “Afters” can be huge!

639. It is a choice we all face Nicola, do we embrace the love that we innately are and commit to the necessary leg work involved to attain that for ourselves, or reject it because our own choices actually infuriate us and we don’t want to take responsibility for the pain we have caused ourselves and others. I love the way you have turned the After into the Before. The quality of love and vitality in your eyes in your After photo is the quality you were born with and held fast to in life Before everyone around you reacted and rejected your beautiful love. So we should really call it the After and Before Gallery – After a life of abuse and neglect we can return to who we truly are Before we ventured down this self destructive, self infuriating path.

     1. Thank you Rowena – we could call it the After and Before, Before and After or the Before and After, After and Before – but that might seem a bit convoluted and as we never stop evolving where would it begin or end as my after or is it my before has already evolved again so is it the After and Less After and even Less After and Before the After and even earlier before and so we go on or rather return!

640. Thank you Nicola, you bring the love of God in the most practical ways, always relatable and with the a curiosity and naturalness that is very inspiring. Simple and true.

641. “Some scary, hairy men turning into beautiful tender men, some scary, hard women turning into beautiful delicate women and generally people looking much younger, healthy and radiant in the After photos when in fact they are years older.” Love this Nicola. Yes some of the “Before” photos are truly scary when you look at the hardness, given upness, disconnection, misery and coldness in the eyes and in the expressions on the faces. The protection in the bodies is also discernibly noticeable. When I look at the “After” photos I am blown away by the miracle that got them to open up, claim their inner delicacy and tenderness and live it. The inner essence and beauty shines through with every single one – every single one!

     1. I agree Michelle which just goes to prove how gorgeous EVERYONE is at heart.

642. Love this blog Nicola! “So I stopped expressing, stopped being joyful, stopped trusting myself and comfortably joined in with others in being miserable but very functional and pretending I was not as miserable as I was. I became a lot more popular.” You be described how it is for the majority of people perfectly and it’s so sad! I feel so grateful to have been shown its ok to be real and truthful to shine bright essentially…. But also to truly do that that I need to feel the misery I’ve accepted as a way of protecting myself by being like everyone else, in order to access that place of love underneath it all… It’s an amazing process an yes one that we all need to accept will ruffle the feathers of those people who are not yet ready to do the same for themselves for whatever reason…

643. Nicola, beautiful article, and wonderful that you are returning to being your joyful self, reading this I felt that with children because they are so joyful generally that as adults we tell them off a lot and can find their joyfulness and playfulness inconvenient and at times annoying, and I can feel how this can get crushed in them – particularly at school where life becomes more serious and less about playing and being joyful and more about academia and being ‘good’, doing what you’re told and not shining brightly and standing out.

644. Every attack that comes from envy, is completely self harming. The idea of turning off the light in others is simply an illusion. We are just turning off our light to not feel what is being shown back to us: the grandness that we also are and is possible to be lived.

     1. Energetically there is a big difference between envy and jealousy. Jealousy is the one that packs the punch. The full fury of attack comes via the person who allows the energy of jealousy to be expressed through them due to their own choices. You can read more about it at Unimedpedia Jealousy: http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia/word-index/unimedpedia-jealousy.html

     2. Someone might be envious of your car or academic prowess whereas they are jealous of your light which reflects your choices. Some people actually dim their light and make themselves good at what they do to invite envy rather than jealousy which is a whole other kettle of fish.

645. Amazing Nicola to see such a joy in your eyes and that of you both and what a blessing to share this light with the world and your beauty as you do with true love for everyone which is deeply felt as is your transformation back from who you were not with the inspiration from Serge Benhayon.

646. This is an important subject to raise, Nicola, thank you. Jealousy and self fury have been the cause of so much retardation in humanity’s evolution, and it is high time that we name and understand what we do to each other in order to avoid admitting and taking responsibility for our not so good choices. Then we can open up to truly learning and growing together.

647. And I love your last sentence, very empowering and totally true.
     “However, you cannot kill love or joy – it is eternal, always there and who we are!”

648. You can’t kill love or joy, I absolutely agree. So all those who try, stop, and get on board the love train. The sooner the better!

649. What a joy it is to read your blog Nicola and to see the gorgeous photo’s of you and Christoph and the difference with the return to the truth of who you are. The before and after photos are a permanent record and living testimony for all to see the changes that are possible when choosing the Way of The Livingness.

650. I agree Amina. Not just for our own health but if we don’t get to know our essence inside out then we end up trying to smash the mirror which shows us joy and brutalise the reflection in order to not feel our hurts. History and present day has shown how ugly this is. Could that explain so much violence in our world, we are literally trying to get rid of the reflections? but it’s not just through physical acts of violence which this takes place, as I can so relate to trying to take people out and attack people in other ways such as a cutting comment, or a coldness, which is just as harmful and abusive. Getting to know my essence has meant I can really feel how these reactions and behaviours have nothing to do with who I am and I can start letting go of them. Phew!

651. This really has been a great read because I can get to feel just how much I have been in reaction to joy. You are so spot on about why we react to joy Nicola, because it is a mirror. Can anyone relate to reacting to their own joy too? It starts to become comical when we see all the ridiculous ways we can behave just to not feel joy – our own or that of others. And at the same time it is tragic to see the ways that we stamp it out in fury and the harm we do.

     1. Yes it is interesting to see how many ways we react to joy. One reason is because in true joy there is no ownership, individualisation or identification which we have become so addicted to, but simply the sharing of a joy that we all are equally at essence.

652. I love how you have turned ‘Before’ and ‘After’ around, that our ‘After’ is what we are returning to. This is so true, for as you share we are returning to the joy and love we always were, are.

     1. Too right – we started off life as joyful beings, you can see it in every baby. This should be the Before marker.

653. Before and after your blog and your presentation Nicola!.
     Awesome to feel your determination this time to not be tented by the jealousy or the reactions of others to your joy and your beauty. I can feel and see the result of Serge Benhayon’s inspiration in you, as well as many others included myself. The return to live in touch with our real source is really magic and inspiring for the ones ready to come back. Thank you for your words!

654. A gorgeous blog to read Nicola. From a young age we learn that being joyful which really means being ourselves is not acceptable, so we learn very quickly to dumb joyfulness down in favour of pleasing others and not rocking the boat. To be joyful healthy and have a vitality as you and Christophe show Nicola seems to be a punishable crime worthy of abuse and or as in your case a misunderstanding of what you were reflecting, to say you were gloating was so far from the truth, Imagine how different the world would be if we were all taught from birth that being joyful is something to be appreciated in another. To me this just shows the state of the world we are in, that being joyful is such a rare commodity that it brings ups up so much for everyone that the only way to deal with it is to shut it down in what ever way possible.

655. This is a great blog Nicola, which also makes me consider reactions as part of everyday and the all the other reactions which are flying about and taking a grip in my own and other people’s lives. It’s so worth committing to understanding them in order to let go of them. Space and joy immediately come to mind when I see a life of less reactions. Even seeing my reactions for what they are – reactions – rather than an integral and often all consuming part of who I am has been a massive stepping stone in coming back to who I actually am. No longer can I just say “I’m such a jealous person’ or “I just have this anger” The language of ‘I reacted to….’ allows me to open up and talk about it more. Honesty is a great starting point for giving these reactions less of a grip- I can’t hide them and kid myself they didn’t just happen.

656. We settle for so much less until we get a taste of what is possible to live truly joyful, and this taste is felt through the reflection of others that live joyfully.

657. The joy is shining as you return to the ‘before’ of joy-full childhood and this is not only in the photograph but in every moment that you meet your friends and family – all of us.

658. I love that you point out that that the changes are most strongly felt in our eyes. I am used to not holding eye contact so well but meanwhile dearly enjoy looking into somebody’s eyes. In fact I have been working in an eye clinic and have the opportunity to see a lot of people and their eyes close up during the day. Eyes are fascinating, their tell our whole life(s) story.

659. Nicola such a great topic to talk about, Jealousy. I have always found this a weird one because in the past I would feel it come up and sometimes it would be happening and I have been so disconnected with what is going on, that I don’t even realise that it is happening. But once I got to understand truly what is happening when I go into Jealousy it made complete sense. Which gave me the opportunity to make different choices. Always looking outwardly and going into comparison is such a killer, it basically eats us alive. Since Universal Medicine I have been more and more aware of this and still have moments when I have it present itself and the key thing to remember is that is not me. When we bring our focus to the Love that we are living this then none of the outward looking has a chance of coming in, even though it can persist.

660. This made me laugh – reaction to joy is such a common occurrence which I can definitely relate to!
     It’s funny Nicola, because this blog feels like we are talking about a taboo subject ‘whatever you do don’t express joy’ It’s so taboo, and I can so relate to seeing it as a dirty word. Now I understand its not joy itself but its because it disturbs people sooooo much because of our hurt at being so far away from joy. I can now see my reaction to joy as great barometer for how I am living my life. This blog is definitley making me feel the impact that my reaction to joy has had- feels like a hard shell that I’ve been wearing, one of those hard shells that everyone seems to be wearing so we wear one to hide and to blend in.

661. You have so nailed it, Nicola! Love and joy are the spark inside of everyone, no matter how hard we try not to see or feel it.

662. The quote on jealousy is gold, as it names very clearly the intention behind jealousy and how manipulating it is. This also explains the strong reaction to for example the before and after photos as it is the quality of the people on those photos that gives the reflection and not so much their physical changes. They show that there is a different quality to live in and that is an innate joy that we have left behind in our path into adulthood, that we can choose to reclaim and live. The photos reflect that there is a choice and that we are responsible and this can be very confronting.

663. Loved reading this Nicola, I used to take it a little personally when running into old friends that are still heavy drinkers and smokers and they would treat me as if I had betrayed them or done something bad to them but it was not what I had done to them it was what I hadn’t done to me. I lost 13kgs and also look and feel younger as opposed to looking fatter and older. You would think people would be happy for you and some genuinely are, but there are others that can’t stand it.

664. Nicola, your blog is a true joy to read and to reflect on the fact that we are all joyful in our essence and that we don’t have to become joyful, but that we are joyful, we just have to peal the layers away that cover it up.

665. An awesome blog Nicola and one that highlights that joy is unwavering and holds everyone equally. The inspiration is amazing and we can all enjoy the radiance of you in that glorious after photo too. Thank you.

666. Gorgeous joyful blog Nicola. Thank you! You are so right. Nothing can ever kill joy – it is indestructible. And that so so shown in your shiny, clear, joyful face.

667. Nicola it was a great joy for me to read your gorgeous blog. It gave me the possibility to reflect about my joy when I was young and what I remembered was that I could change a whole room with it. I gave up on my joy as well as the reaction of the people were exactly how you described it. Now I am joyful again and hold not back to live it to the best of my ability.

668. Thank you for writing this Nicola. That we attack each others joy is quite a taboo in our lives, something we do not talk about but I think everyone has experienced. It is a horrible feeling that people do not like it when we are joyful, playful and silly. It is good to know this is going on as the awareness of it going on will make it easier to stay in the joy. In the end everyone benefits if we are in our joy, silliness and playfulness. It is our natural way of being.

669. Thank you Nicola for this simple article that does expose how people can react to something that is actually really beautiful, and in the multiple reactions we can then begin to doubt that the norm is actually the beauty that we bring. I love how you described this as a toning down in order to fit in, a way of then becoming popular again! Ha – crazy how in order to fit in, we need to give up who we naturally are! But then true unconditional love would never ask that of us. And so we do learn to return to what we were before the before and afters…:)

670. The squashing of joy is very common with children. My son is a bundle of joy and these days he cannot hold it in. But he used to and would only let it out in certain circumstances. I watched how people would react to his joy and at the first peep of it would come in with a big swoop and make sure it didn’t go any further. In all honesty I myself used to find his joy too much at times and would do the same. But these days I’m a lot more aware of when I do it or when I noticed others doing the same. My son and I talk about it too which has been very supportive for him. One day when he was making his bed after I’d been not so nice to him, he was singing a song “No one can take the joy out of me”. It stopped me in my tracks in many ways.

671. The wrath that can come through another to bring someone else down is awful to be on the receiving end of, but likewise for someone to allow that wrath through their own body means that they are in much turmoil themselves. This is not an excuse for them to get away with such harmful behaviour, but it allows us to understand how this is indeed possible. And so we do have a world with lots of envy, hate and jealousy that is waiting for a person to call on, so then it can be projected at another to cause more harm and hurts. The question is – do you want to be the one calling on that wrath and the jealousy, Or do you prefer to be the one who stands in Joy and brings lightness to everyone. The choice is ours.

672. It is interesting to read this after a recent experience. Just this weekend I attended a Universal Medicine event at the end of which the stage was filled with people singing, dancing and performing music that was so incredibly joyful. As I sat in my chair and watched I could feel how uncomfortable all that radiant joy was making me. They were reflecting to me choices that I have not made. But it looked so glorious and I made the choice to get up and move my body to shift what I was in. Slowly I was able to feel the joy in my body. I’m glad I made the choice not to sit in misery but to connect to the joy that was on offer in the form of a reflection and find it within.

673. This is an amazing story Nicola and the joy in you just oozes out. It must have been quite an effort to keep that suppressed in the past. Your before and after photos are incredible and you actually look a lot younger in the ‘after’ even though they are taken more than ten years later.
     You and Christoph are an amazing couple and it’s gorgeous to see and feel you both shining together.

     1. What a great point Johanna – no wonder I was always exhausted. How exhausting it is to not express all the love and joy we are all and keep that buried. The world seems to be suffering an exhaustion epidemic – imagine telling people who are exhausted and depressed that what is causing it is them not expressing their love and joy – gosh we have made life so absurd it is completely nuts – like buying a packet of nuts that has a warning on it that this product might contain nuts!!!

674. Hear hear

675. And what a blessing it is for us all that you reclaimed the joy you have always been Nicola. Your before and after photos say it all… and yes could bring up ill emotions for some who are still at your before photo stage… but for many, many people you are a huge source of inspiration and constant reflection of what it means to be a joyful, powerful, loving, gorgeous woman in the world today.

676. The change in your eyes is indeed remarkable. In your before picture your eyes are dead and empty. In the after photo your eyes are sparkling with joy blessing us all.

677. Great sharing Nicola. It brought back an incident in my childhood when I was expressing the joy that I am and was heavily reprimanded and told in no uncertain terms “to grow up”. I was totally bewildered as I was not actually doing anything, I was simply being myself. It was one of those moments you never forget as they have such a great impact on you. They make you doubt yourself and think that there is something wrong with you. Understanding that it is a reaction to joy and not a personal attack frees one up to be all that they are once again. Serge Benhayon has been instrumental with this with so many people, including myself!
     I love this line, well said. . .”However, you cannot kill love or joy – it is eternal, always there and who we are!”

678. Thanks to Serge Benhayon and Unimedpedia, I have a better understanding of what jealousy is and how it has affected all of us – and dare I say, it’s not something we should cower ourselves from, but it is actually a confirmation that we are on the right track.

679. Never, ever stop expressing your joy Nicola; it can certainly be “felt in a dark room with the lights turned out.” The world needs the expression of joy more than ever before and you are definitely leading the way!

680. I agree Nicola whenever one of us chooses to live this joy it shows us all that we can all be this too. If we have any addiction to the complexity and struggle in life, wow are we not going to want to see this simplicity come to light! If we can learn to come to see other’s fury as more a confirmation of the beauty we choose, we will no longer play the game of turning it down.

681. “It can be very confronting to be faced with love (which is an energy) because it exposes all that is not of love” – this is so true. I remember how I resisted my first few esoteric healing sessions even though I chose to physically go there and receive it myself. And what came up was that if I had truly received and accepted that (= the healing) that would negate everything about me and my choices up to that point and make me less – less than what I previously thought I was, and less than the practitioner who was offering the healing. I could feel how I was holding that up against the practitioner personally as if it was about them, and not about my choices being not true. Truth was scary and destructive to the falsity that I had utterly sold myself to.

682. Gorgeous blog Nicola – love you and Christoph’s return. “It did not occur to me that there was something wrong with everyone else.” How often do we feel that just because someone is annoyed that there is something wrong with us. This point is not to be irresponsible about and blame them, the first thing I do is check where I am at and feel how I have been for this situation to occur. Have I been my full self or as Nicola explained is it fury towards you. It is one of the most rewarding responsible things I have become aware of through Universal Medicine is to stay with yourself. If another is not in harmony with me directly or indirectly I check in with me first.

683. Thank you Nicola, you’ve explained beautifully here how and why people react in a negative way to a glorious transformation in another. But it makes a lot of sense — most of us in humanity are choosing to live in a lesser quality than we can do, and that we actually deserve. Ultimately, this is a choice we make and then when someone takes the steps to live more of the grandness they naturally are it presses those buttons. Which is of course great!

684. Reading this blog has been a wonderful reflection for me and a reminder of the enormous love and joy I had as a child which is so very inspiring… it was never not there, only a choice to not connect to it and live it.

685. Nicola I enjoyed reading about how your “After” photo is really your “Before” – a return to the way you originally were before all the impositions and disapproval. There is something very wrong within humanity when we cannot simply be ourselves. After all a lion is fine to be a lion, a giraffe a giraffe, so why is it that we collectively disapprove so strongly of people simply being themselves? Shouldn’t it be the most natural and easy thing in the world? That fact that it’s not shows the level of complication we live in our societies and how we all contribute to it. Congratulations on your return to you.

686. And as for expressing love and joy, well it just beams from your faces so whatever you’re doing, keep doing it and let the rest of us deal with it!

687. ‘Sharing the joy’ – a perfect title… there is so much joy in your blog Nicola for all to feel – it is contagious 🙂

688. Our reaction to others’ reaction is what cripple us. And we may have various stories of why we would not live who we truly are in full, how it would be uncomfortable or difficult, but the way Serge Benhayon has been living while all the attacks continue only shows us that it IS a choice.

689. What a delightful blog to read Nicola thank you for sharing so openly and honestly. Jealousy is indeed a difficult thing for some to deal with, and can definitely feel like a full frontal assault I agree. Even when it is not openly felt I find at times I adjust myself in my expression in some way without realising exactly why. I suspect it is due to feeing jealousy but being unwilling to register it fully in my awareness.

690. How important is true and open expression when we see the joy of our children disappearing as they grow up – in reaction to what they feel in the world around them, and what is imposed upon them.

691. A great reminder to be all the joy we know we truly are… no matter what reaction we receive from others.

     1. Absolutely, Paula – I’m sure many of us have turned ourselves down, changed, etc in response to others’ reactions about how we naturally are. A wonderful and inspiring reminder in this blog for us to, as you say, ‘be all the joy we know we truly are’.

692. What a totally empowering statement it is, that love or joy simply cannot be killed.
     The flame always remains within us, to reconnect to if we are willing. And boy, does the world need such inspiration as you and your husband offer Nicola – from looking dull and lifeless, to totally shining, it can’t be denied.

693. An honest exposure of our behaviours and reactions when we know we havent done what we knew we needed to do – thank you Nicola.

694. “…how furiously people can at times react to my joy.”
     Nicola, it is to be deeply appreciated here, how you’ve basically ‘unpacked’ not only current reactions that can occur, and criticism and attacks even, when we are truly doing well. But you’ve taken this a step deeper, as in – is it just such reactions that contributed to the shutting down of our natural joy and exuberance when we were young? What if, when we were children, those around us didn’t want such powerful reflections of joy and God’s love, and so, in jealousy and reaction, there was the attempt, way back then, to diminish and dampen the reflection that was simply too much to bear…
     I would say that a great many of us, if truly honest, experienced such a ‘dampening’. And so, how truly powerful it is, to reclaim the joy and love, and simply not hold it back. Love this blog, thank-you.

695. love how you shared that the transformation is first and foremost from energy. Changing our energetic state of being brings massive shifts to our life!

696. Nicola, I can relate to so much of what you express here, from feeling the joy in my own and others transformations and at times being in reaction to others transformations and being jealous. The ugly thing about jealousy is that it rears its ugly head often well before you can catch it. I am developing much more an appreciation of what others reflect to me as then I find I am inspired to bring about whatever changes are needed for myself. What I find incredible with the work of Serge Benhayon is that there is no plateau, no spot to stop and get comfortable, no checking out or stopping from developing, growing and learning. I am beginning to feel the joy more and more as I say what next and prepare for my next transformation?

     1. This is beautifully expressed and shared Sally. I also feel that the more I actually appreciate and confirm me the more I am able to feel inspired by others who have walked a few steps further and then jealousy has a much lesser chance of sneakily rearing its ugly head before we can catch it.

697. Love this Sharing! I also went on holidays, ate ice cream and did lots of ‘fun things’, but these experiences always fade when they are over and weary us as we dread getting on with the rest of life. Thats whats different about the Way of the Livingness, it is about the whole of life, and every part contains a steady joy.

698. You look amazing Nicola and Christophe in your second photo which is so more inviting and carries an equality between you, it says to me: ‘come in, you are very welcome’, and the first one [the before] says ‘keep away, we are exclusive’.

699. I love your last line Nicola ” However you cannot kill love or joy – it is eternal,who we are and always there.” Thank you for sharing your journey in dulling your joy, I feel I have done the same as I have felt the reactions and also thought something was wrong with me… I contracted because few could cope with the natural joy I felt within that had me loving life. Now I know what is happening I connect to the love within us all equally to bridge the way.

     1. Just hearing your name Merrilee reflects Joy to me 🙂

700. “The graceful transformation that is reflected in these photos is showing a journey of us RETURNING, so really the After photos are us getting closer to who we truly are and were Before we took on all that is not the truth of who we are!” – ha ha yes how very true Nicola, well observed… especially the last bit: “Before we took on all that is not the truth of who we are” – photos are a great example and easy to see indicator of this bloated-ness take-on, underneath any weight, smile, makeup or clothes, that the real truth of joy lies in the light of eyes, and the way a person just feels, as your second photo emanates.

701. I too have had this experience and was led to believe from a very early age that my joy was disturbing to others. I now know that it can never be Joy that disturbs another but more so all that arises in its presence that does not match it, that is so incredibly uncomfortable to feel. That is to say that as humans we can become so embedded in our misery and seek solace and comfort in it that we actually begin to en-joy having this misery confirmed. Which is really just having our un-loving choices that have led to such misery confirmed. And if this is confirmed by way of other people also making unloving choices and hence feeling miserable then we are seen to be ‘normal’ as it is what the vast majority are choosing to live and so now we have everyone comfortable not taking responsibility for the misery they feel but being totally ok with it because everyone else is doing it, while completely ignoring the fact that THERE IS NOTHING NORMAL ABOUT NOT FEELING TRUE JOY.

     Joy is a quality of the Soul, along with Love, Stillness, Truth, and Harmony (as Nicola has suggested see Unimedpedia for a more detailed look at these qualities: http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia) and while we can say that it is common to not live Soul-fully, it is never normal because it is our Soul that is our true self and hence defines what true normal is. Any deviation from this way is simply that, a deviation and delay to not return to and live the great Love, Truth, Harmony, Stillness and Joy that we in essence are.

     1. You say “we actually begin to en-joy having this misery confirmed” – it is the “en-joining” which we appear to “en-joy” in the illusion of false connection. We do not want to be separate from others and so we make ourselves less to enjoin them in their misery rather than stay in our joy and offer a reflection to pull them out of their misery. When I say “we” that refers to EVERYONE as it is a game almost the whole of humanity has chosen to play. Great that some are starting to play a different game. Joy may appear to have a few hurdles to start with but boy oy boy it is a lot more fun than misery.

702. Just gorgeous Nicola, as are you standing here as a perfect example that Joy is what dismantles the evil that would otherwise rule us, were this quality of the Soul not deeply felt and expressed. Our love is a flame that burns deep within us all and cannot be destroyed by that which seeks to obliterate it. It is only we who can choose as a result of such an attack to close down our connection to and expression of this (God’s) love. Thus you can throw as many daggers as you like at such a fire, they will only melt when met with the fullness of its flame. Such is the power of our true selves when we make the choice to not turn down our Heavenly light.

     1. Gorgeous Liane xoxxxoxoxx 🙂

        1. ps: you and your comment 😉

703. I can feel the truth that we are made of love… we are actually dependent on it. If we understood this like we understand how dependent we are on the oxygen we breathe, then we would soon want to know all about how to live the love we are. Instead we must choose to connect to love, or not and in making the latter choice we eventually, slowly suffocate anyway.

704. A great reminder Nicola that it matters not how we react to another’s choice to be the love they feel inside, love just is and is not going anywhere!

     1. And a great reminder for us to go with being inspired and to enquire with another about how they have done what they’ve done, rather than allow any fury or jealousy in. We all do know how awful and harmful it feels.

705. The eyes say it all Nicola, they radiate the joy that you now feel in your life. The difference between the eyes in the before and the after is quite amazing. The eyes in the before are dull, lifeless, just existing, but your recent photograph shines out so openly, and so absolutely joyfully, with such a commitment to life. Your eyes convey all that you have shared in your great blog. Thank you.

706. That is such a gorgeous ‘after’ photograph of your with your great partner, Christoph, it radiates such a joy that is so infectious, I love it. It emanates all you have described in your great blog, the huge change in you is so amazing. In your ‘before’ photo you appear to be so guarded, unsure of yourself, putting up a great shield to protect you from the world. All that is gone now, there is no need for any cover-up, all that you are is there for us all to see. You are Love personified.

     1. Hi Beverley, I agree the transformation is HUGE and continues. However, whilst you may see in comparison that I was unsure of myself in the before photo, I was actually very successful in the business world and considered to be an open and caring person. We need to not judge each other on our so called before and there will come a time when our current after is a future before as we are forever evolving. The love is always there within for EVERY single human being – it is just a question of how much we are living it and letting it out.

707. I find Serge Benhayon and his family to be the ultimate inspiration in how to remain in joy whilst having total fury and rage thrown at one is really something to have born witness too.

     1. An absolute inspiration and unwavering in love and truth.

        1. Absolutely Johanna, unwavering love that holds the other in fury and jealous with understanding of the force that they are allowing to come through them.

708. Such an amazing journey, Nicola, I love all you have shared here. I have seen such a huge transformation in you over the approximately 10 years that I have now known you. You have become such a gentle, gorgeous, absolutely exquisitely loving woman, that I now love being with. I must admit in the beginning, you were someone I would sometimes avoid, you had a way of expressing words at times that could be felt to be pretty harsh at times, even though they may have been the truth. All that has gone now, and I so appreciate all the wisdom that you share at times, in such a loving, caring way.

     1. What a gorgeous confirmation of Nicola. That’s beautiful Beverly. What you have declared here feels like the absolute opposite of jealousy. Very refreshing and rare.

709. I know that Self fury only too well, it is ugly and very strong and blinding when you let it take hold. I too have experienced friends not wanting to know anything about my life now and I have learnt to not take that personally.

Comments are closed.