Building Consistency

Years ago I attended a talk where the presenter spoke about taking one thing in our lives and making it consistent: a thing that we choose to do every day, and then build on this. That day I chose to start by folding my face washer and placing it either over the taps or now on a holder in our new home.

In the four years since I started this I have consistently folded my face washer every day. It is something that I have not faltered on, but in that time I have not built on other things with so much commitment… or that is what I thought.

I realised how this tiny little thing that I had chosen to do every day was actually quietly and consistently building with each choice that I made.

Once I make a choice to do something – like lovingly folding my PJ’s and putting them under my pillow each morning, or folding the dishcloth to wipe the bench – there is such a strong pull to do it every day, that if I choose to override what I feel to do, my body speaks loudly, giving me the opportunity to make a different choice.

By building this foundation of consistency it feels like I am held with such love that my body goes into slow motion until I choose to again commit to the loving choice that I had previously made.

Appreciating my Choices

I had not appreciated what a difference it was making, but this morning I felt the enormity of how it has been trickling into every facet of my life. I had been judging myself because I had not consciously picked other things to build on.

I can now see this one choice had created a chain reaction that affected every part of my life. I have been quietly building on other things without really noticing. Now my life flows, just like a thread that has been quietly stitching my life together on the inside.

All these things are a true reflection of how I have been living.

For me this is now very obvious in my home. I rarely have these moments where I am super-organised and then it drops. I may still have moments where things can slip, but they are pulled up pretty quickly. Every little thing I do is building on my foundation.

When I appreciate all that I am now choosing in my life – all the loving ways that make my day and the quality I am living in – I see things differently. By appreciating this consistency I have been building, I get to feel and appreciate me. The quality that I live in and the way I live, not just seeing the end results on the outside, I get to feel more of me on the inside.

I had been telling myself for a long time that appreciation is the key, but I was not really appreciating me, it was just words. Now when I feel appreciation it feels like my body is expanding with a smile on the inside. And it radiates all around me.

I now know in my body, what it feels like to build consistency. Slowly building an appreciation for all that I do, even folding my face washer. By appreciating all the little things that have changed in my life, I get to see the bigger picture of life more clearly.

When Simone Benhayon suggested to choose one thing to do and choose it consistently, I had no idea that it would have such an impact on my whole life.

Really, it was one little thing! This one little thing has shown me so much. It has reflected my level of commitment and consistency in all parts of my life, including my relationship with others.

By Denise Cavanough, Living Expression, Brisbane

Further Reading:
Sunrise and Sunset – The Dawning of Consistency
Organising my home – Choosing Order Over Complexity


911 thoughts on “Building Consistency

  1. The more consistently we live the standard that we know is true and needed, the more we can back ourselves in what we feel and know. This builds an incredible trust and confirmation in ourselves and all that is being communicated and received.

  2. I love the strong pull to come back when we veer away from what we live and how making a commitment to do something consistently supports us to be consistent in other areas.

  3. Taking the time to fold your face washer every day would not seem of great importance to most people as it is only little thing that you have chosen to do, but having also committed to take the little steps I for one know how powerful these simple and consistent choices can be. They may be the smallest building blocks in our daily foundation for life but as with every other block, big or small, they are as equally important.

  4. How beautiful it is when something specially introduced becomes so solidly part of our normal and that is how we keep upgrading and resetting our standard.

  5. Denise, I loved the simplicity of the one thing you chose to do and how that rippled out. Appreciating the simple choices we have made in our days is something I am developing. In switching away from the negative (which I was very good at) I can now see how much there is about me that is to be celebrated.

  6. I agree. Committing to being consistent about bringing awareness and a quality of presence to one thing in my day has totally turned around my relationship with myself… the first up being a kernel of self worth and respect.

  7. I really enjoy folding clothing and it is something of a running joke in our house that my partner and I sit on the floor and lovingly fold each others clothing. It not only gives us a loving feeling within but it also feels so awesome when we are placing it in our drawers. This has now flowed into the way we fold and place our towels, linens and blankets in the linen cupboard, but so many other areas of the house. It’s amazing how the quality of our connection to our bodies expresses a quality of energy that is not only seen, but felt in full appreciation of the gesture first made. Consistency and quality truly are a match made in heaven.

  8. Consistency is a quality that is sorely lacking for many people in a positive way. They may have consistency in watching TV, or eating chocolate, but do they have consistency of self-care, and self-love. It is something that can be changed easily by as you say just choosing one thing to be consistent at.

  9. I have found exactly the same thing – that by focusing on just one thing, everything else starts to fall into place. If I start to think that the one thing is not enough, that I need to be focusing on the ‘bigger’ issues, then everything starts to fall apart pretty quickly. Focusing on one thing – feeling my feet on the ground – has helped me to build a relationship with my body and feel more connected to everything and everyone around me.

  10. As we live with more consistency in our lives we build a foundation that supports us during times when we feel shaken by what is going on around us.

  11. I can look back and appreciate how much more consistent I have become in the way I live. Equally there is still a lot of inconsistency to be worked on… and more and more I notice the difference.

  12. Thank you Denise, your story continues to inspire me. I have realised again after reading there are new consistencies in my life to be appreciated, and also that I can find moments where more can be added.

  13. I have been offered the same reflection – since this project (call it my project) my life has changed. More consistency is building in my life, by my own choice – to start small consistently by one thing every day. This is a testimony of how much we can change – the power is in our hands.

  14. “By building this foundation of consistency it feels like I am held with such love that my body goes into slow motion until I choose to again commit to the loving choice that I had previously made”. Love this Denise. Starting out with one small thing can build a ‘chain reaction’ as you stated, that can then lead onto other things and so consistency builds.

  15. I have built consistency in one area of my life, I would now like to bring that consistency to another area that at present has no consistency.

  16. This is an inspiring sharing Denise, and so important to appreciate our consistency, ‘Now when I feel appreciation it feels like my body is expanding with a smile on the inside. And it radiates all around me.’

  17. Consistency is a key quality in our life in order to support us to truly develop or deepen our expression of who we genuinely are in all aspects in life. It’s not about being rigid or repetitive just for the sake of repetition but about building a consistency of quality in the way that we do things that allows us to build and expand on.

  18. Our consistency — is key to every movement within our lives. the more gentle and supportive we make our movements — we build consistency and the more space we give for more… (expansion)

  19. Consistently appreciating our choices that contribute to our quality and loving way of being is a wise choice, ‘By appreciating this consistency I have been building, I get to feel and appreciate me. The quality that I live in and the way I live, not just seeing the end results on the outside, I get to feel more of me on the inside.’ This is lovely.

  20. It feels a bit like in taking one thing and focusing on it it’s given you a whole new and deepened appreciation of all the small moments in life. How many people pay attention to the way the dish cloth is folded? But what if it’s these small moments and small details that dictate the overall quality of our whole life..?

  21. When we choose to do one thing we actually need to commit to, it brings in a rhythm of consistency and so will the places of inconsistency be more revealed. In a way this is inspiring as it reveals to us all the areas where we can bring more attention to , so that we can build even more of a foundation and consistency.. How beautiful is that.

  22. ‘Every little thing I do is building on my foundation.’ And this will never stop when we appreciate all these little things like you’ve described. It is in every detail in our lives, what is It? The quality of love we choose because of the consistent attention and commitment to all we do.

  23. I have noticed how I now neatly fold my dishcloth and gently hang it to dry, this feels so natural, loving and supportive. Whereas I used to just throw the dishcloth down on the bench and move onto to something else without any awareness of my movements. In the past few years my consistency to bringing more awareness to my movements, to my body and to being more loving and gentle has transferred to the small details of every day life. And, this is gorgeous to appreciate.

  24. Building consistency through a little something (which may be huge for us) helps us to feel that we can support ourselves through it and it is only natural that we end up naturalizing that movement of doing things to support us and apply it widely and lovingly.

  25. “I rarely have these moments where I am super-organised and then it drops” That is so cool to appreciate as that is what many people often struggle with consistency and you just shared how you can do it. By starting with one thing and then it naturally comes in other parts of our life. It is like when we start to feel how lovely it is to care for ourselves that we naturally love to do it in other parts too without it being a chore from our heads, and also that letting it drop will not feel nice so we don’t, or change it back very quickly if we do.

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