What does it Mean – ‘Holding Onto’?

I love how the English language has words and ways of expressing things that bring so much precision and simplicity in communication.

I especially remember when the expression “hold onto” came to my awareness and opened up a new understanding of the way I was living in my body. I was superficially aware of words and experiences of ‘tension’ and ‘stress’, but I wasn’t fully aware of the fact that we can “hold onto” things both in our body and in our mind, which may lead to states of stress and illness.

This revolution came about when I started participating in Universal Medicine events and began to hear this expression and its close friends, “hardening”, “becoming hard”, “bracing” and “holding tight”.

Since 2008, I´ve been unfolding and deepening my understanding of all these terms and the extent to which I am governed by them. Thanks to many different tools presented during Universal Medicine events, and through experiencing some Esoteric Healing Therapies and modalities, I got to feel and accept that holding onto had been a very normal, consistent and debilitating way of living in my body. I had lived with a very tangible feeling of hardness and tension, with an unbearable anxiousness underneath, that I hadn´t truly acknowledged. I remember bringing this holding onto to my sleep, with the bracing of my arms and tightening of my jaw.

I traced it all back to an event that was outstanding in my personal history of holding tight. When I was two years old, I went with my family on a trip by boat to some islands in the Caribbean. There were nine people altogether, the boat was small and we hadn’t brought life vests or oars with us. On our way back to the continent´s coast we ran out of petrol, were nearly shipwrecked, yet managed to arrive on a desert island later in the evening and spent the night there. It might sound like an adventure, but it was actually pretty scary. I especially remember how cold the night was and the out of control feelings of desperation and despair from my parents and adults involved. Today I still have vivid feelings of the bracing and holding onto the boat, each other and to life by everybody, including me. This experience, at such a young age, marked me deeply and left a trauma in my body that I have been carrying and that has been influencing many of my responses and reactions to situations throughout my life.

This was just a one-off event that represents the beginning of a life of control, feeling unsafe and defenceless, having needy attachments to people and things, and holding tight in order to defend and protect against threats and unknown dangers, people and situations.

The mechanism of holding onto can be easily felt in our bodies in the form of pain, stiffness of muscles and body parts, tension, illness, shallow breath, weakened body systems, anxiety and so on. It not only has a visible impact on the way we live and move in our human bodies, but also is discernible in many of our behaviours and ways of being.

For instance, when we feel threatened in any way, shape or form, we react by holding onto something, whether that be a relationship, a job, a position, a role, a house, a habit, a place, a group of people, a certain food, a drug, negativity, isolation, a wish, a belief, an idea or a project. It is like an automatic reaction in our attempt to feel safe, protected, and comfortable, and to have control over the outcomes and investments of the situation in which we find ourselves.

When something bothers us or when we feel uncomfortable in a situation, encounter or conversation, we tend to close off, hold our chest up, breath more shallowly, hold tight and harden in our body so as not to go there, nor feel and deal with whatever issue or truth is surfacing.

When we fall into self-doubt, feel rejected or have trouble in relationships, we tend to hold stuff, criticism and even little resentments against others. If we get obsessed with a plan, goal or aim, we hold onto an image, expectation, method or strategy. We become fixated and easily lose perspective.

We could extend the list, but what is interesting is to see the variety of things we can hold onto, ranging from muscles, limbs, ideas, beliefs, patterns of behaviour, places, wishes, objects, people, `buts,´ issues against ourselves and others, and so on.

It feels as if all of human life is about `holding onto´ something so we can keep our existence valid through productions, creations, designs, dramas and struggles. All of this is lived through our bodies, which at some point become ill and die. No matter how tenacious our attempt to hold onto life is, matter gets transformed because in the end, matter is energy and follows energetic laws.

Is it not then an illusion to pretend we can hold onto things, have control over outcomes and keep living comfortably aloof from the astonishing order and mystery of the universe?

What sort of energy or what quality of energy are we using to keep our existence going? Could it be that by `holding onto´ we are not controlling anything?

When we go into control or try to hold onto something, we make our bodies feel dense and heavy, our particles move more slowly and their vibration declines.

Could it be that we find assurance and comfort in this density, compression and seemingly rock-solidness, because at the root of our human psyche we feel deeply insecure and empty? Could it be that what we are “holding onto” is “holding onto denseness”?

This concept of holding onto denseness may seem challenging to our everyday concrete experience, but what if such reflections have the potential to awaken us to a greater and deeper understanding of why we are currently living on this planet and choosing to be much less than who we truly are?

Thanks to the Teachings of the Ageless Wisdom and amazing presentations given by Serge Benhayon in the Living Sutras of the Hierarchy, I have been awakened to another reality that can be actually lived in this plane of life, that is completely applicable to our reality and THAT is truly evolutionary.

By Luz Helena Hincapie, Bogotá, Colombia

Further reading:
Holding onto denseness
Harden Up Wuss, What Are You Made Of! Real Men & Putting On The Tough Act
Letting Go of An Old Way Of Protecting Myself
Goodbye Hardness – Hello Spaciousness

784 thoughts on “What does it Mean – ‘Holding Onto’?

  1. It’s true – we hold onto denseness because if we simply ‘let go’ we are left to feel the incredible light that we are and the responsibility we have for shining this bright through the darkness in which we as a humanity are currently choose to live.

  2. Luz, its great to come back to your article, I can feel how I choose to hold onto denseness and wanting to control people and situations and how freeing it would be to let this go. I have become aware lately of how I can go into frustration and that my body becomes achy and tense and anxious, it is clear to me now that this is a choice. Great to read this article and to have more awareness around this.

  3. Awareness of who we are through feeling has been a great gift shared with me and many others by Universal Medicine. I always knew I could sense more than the physical world presented, and now as I develop in life I am learning that not only do I innately have that ability, but so does everyone else.

  4. ‘I love how the English language has words and ways of expressing things that bring so much precision and simplicity in communication.
    I especially remember when the expression “hold onto” came to my awareness and opened up a new understanding of the way I was living in my body.’ It is so true Luz that different languages bring forth different kinds of precision or dimension to words and expression. English is a particular ‘meaty’ language and I love the way you have described your insights about ‘holding onto’. It is also so interesting to hear people whose second language is English speak – it is always such a fresh and new way of using the language which can, if used in unawareness, run on such cliched tracks. People who don’t use the language all the time have a way of bring English to life again!

    1. I don’t know exactly what you mean with a ‘meaty’ language Lindy but I do appreciate the English language for the amounts of words it has to use for one expression. Not always easy to use the ‘correct’ word but there is an openness and flow I don’t find in for instance the dutch language.

  5. It’s funny but after reading your blog I get the sense that the things we hold onto bring us anxiety rather than the safety we seek.

  6. I love how you have asked us the question ‘are we holding onto denseness’? It highlights what is really going on and asks us to be atleast honest.

  7. I smiled when I read your long list of things we can go hold onto – it seems we even hold onto ‘holding on’ because there is a comfort in feeling this denseness, in denying ourselves our glorious light and the responsibility we then have to bring this to the world.

  8. If we can hold onto denseness then we are equally able to ‘let go’ of what makes us dense. This is hugely empowering and potentially life changing.

  9. Obviously we could say that letting go is the opposite of holding onto but what is happening or how do we behave after we have let go; it doesn´t end with letting go, instead something else must be established, a new or different choice and action needs to follow. It starts with identifying what we hold onto, then we figure out to let go and then we learn to live the new choice we make. Often it is the unknown we cannot yet see that keeps us from letting go; it requires a willingness to open up for the unknown in the knowing that by letting go of something that is not serving our true wellbeing (any longer) the direction towards more wellbeing is guaranteed.

  10. “I had lived with a very tangible feeling of hardness and tension, with an unbearable anxiousness underneath, that I hadn´t truly acknowledged.” When we can’t truly acknowledge there is a something going on in us that needs addressing, or there isn’t an openness and honesty about how we are living, then we can’t actually begin to change.

  11. Yes Luz, you are showing us that in all ways we can either resist or allow the flow of union, universality.. That it is either a choose that we make to either fight this absolute amazingness that is in us all of the time and felt and expressed when connection to ourselves is chosen. Absolute beautiful blog about holding onto is simply a choice , one of resistance that what is already there in us.

  12. I love what you have expressed here Luz, it is so true that we hold onto denseness;
    “When we go into control or try to hold onto something, we make our bodies feel dense and heavy, our particles move more slowly and their vibration declines”.

  13. I am re-discovering the flow that I used to live in as a child and when I am in a flow there is no holding onto anything, there is just what is next to be done. It is a very beautiful way to live.

  14. Building an intimate relationship with our own body where we can feel both the areas that we are holding on but also the holding on that we create when we react to situations is a very loving step towards letting go.

  15. I too have absolute praise for the modalities of Universal Medicine healing therapies and modalities. As these have helped me to understand how hard and protective I have lived most of my life. I had no idea for example that my jaw was so tight until it started to loosen and then the pain began as the muscles slowly started to release. Living life braced for all eventualities has to have an effect on the body, so it is no surprise to see that as a society we rely on coffee, sugar etc. as stimulants to get us through our day. May be it’s time to start looking at the way we live and ask ourselves the question
    “Is the way we live supporting us or harming us”

    1. I would add that most of us have no idea how the effect of how we live builds up over time and affects the body as we’re completely numb to how it feels until something goes really wrong with it- and then we blame it for not dealing with all we’ve subjected it to.

  16. It is interesting how many of us when feeling destabilized, can look to hold onto or control in an attempt to make us feel some stability… yet at the expense of the body that becomes dense to obey our disillusioned instructions. How gorgeous to come to the awareness you have so that you can nominate when you do this and allow yourself and your body to then surrender to the lightness of being in which we can all live and move from.

  17. I know that in my day I regularly try to ‘hold on’ to everything that I know I need to get done. That becomes the most important thing, therefore I am not actually open to truly connecting with myself or with people along the way. The days when I let go of needing to complete everything are the most enjoyable and satisfying days, and my body is free to let go of tension and I am more able to be present with what I am actually doing. It’s so easy to create obstacles for ourselves in the form of expectations.

  18. “Could it be that what we are “holding onto” is “holding onto denseness”?” I had never considered it like that Luz but there is something familiar with denseness that we are drawn to that does not make sense. Why would we want to hold onto something that is painful and causes much suffering yet it is something we do time and time again. It has taken me a long time to unravel that somehow I enjoy the familiarity and comfort that this brings. The less i hold onto the denseness the more I enjoy the freedom in my body and the lightness with which my body moves.

  19. I first learnt the phrase ‘holding on to’ with Universal Medicine. Before then I knew that I used to bottle things up but I didn’t give much thought as to where exactly those bottled up feelings went! It was only when I started to allow myself to feel it in my body did it dawn on me that bottling things up is a store house for poisons to accumulate in my body and at last feeling it was still stored there meant I could also let it go.

    1. Great point Susan that what we hold onto we accumulate as poison in the body. Often I’ll feel what I’ve been holding onto with a feeling of ‘but I don’t know how to let this go’ – which is more of an excuse to hold onto it. The more I take deep care of and really appreciate myself, the more allow myself to be me, to not hold back and to express all of me, the more the stuff I’m holding onto naturally starts to fall away, without any effort. This is a slow process – it turns out that I’ve been holding onto a lot of stuff for a long time, but gradually the layers of protection and distraction are dissipating.

      1. Thanks for expanding on this… I have found by just allowing myself to feel what is there and being honest allows it to melt away. It no longer has a hold over me.

      2. Thank you Susan. I have noticed this too- that just by being honest and expressing what i can feel even to myself, whatever it was no longer has a hold on me. Singing out loud has been hugely supportive with this. There’s something amazing, joyful and soothing about singing out loud and reminding myself that I do have a voice and can feel and express myself with it.

  20. I can relate to a familiarity with denseness too. It is like I am attracted to it and yet the feeling of it, if I am honest, is heavy and debilitating. Becoming aware of what creates this denseness in my body gives me a choice and in choosing to step away from the attraction even if it is as simple as my choice of food, I am allowing my body a chance to feel the clarity that is already there and to appreciate that.

  21. What a very relatable understanding of holding onto tenseness and bracing ourselves from life that I can really relate to. Relearning to feel our bodies and come back to the gentleness and openness we were as a baby and child is so true and a knowing way of being and allows a deep contentment and flow in our bodies of who we really are and simply is. All our choices in how we live makes such a difference in this and the real guidance and reflection of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine shows us the way.

  22. Amazing how one incident can impact how we relate to life and others for a very long time, until we bring awareness and understanding to it and re-imprint how to be in life again.

  23. Lately I discovered how stubbornly I hold onto a certain way to work in a computer program, although some friends had been pointing out to me that there was a much easier way, I was just digging my heels in and continued in my way. A very interesting pattern which reflects my stubbornness, my holding on to in more area’s in my life. it felt very freeing to be honest to start with the easier way and let more lightness into my life

  24. When a situation comes around again that reminds us of something that happened say, years ago, it gives us the opportunity to feel the hurt again and to re-imprint and to do things differently without reaction – what is astonishing is how long these things can be held in the body just waiting for an opportunity to resurface.

  25. How many of us hold onto anxiety, tension or stress within our bodies without really realising it. I was the same in that I was not fully aware of this until it was presented by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and then could really feel in my body how I was holding onto this or trying to control things because on some level I felt anxious and still note times when I do this. ‘I had lived with a very tangible feeling of hardness and tension, with an unbearable anxiousness underneath, that I hadn’t truly acknowledged.’ However, this is a complete illusion as in truth we cannot really control anything. This also highlights how we can hold traumas in our body from events that happened when we were children and how they can stay with us unless completely addressed and truly healed throughout our entire life.

  26. It’s like we are such experts at holding on, to events, memories, and struggles in life, that we think we have hit the jackpot when we just loosen our grip. For so many of us, ‘getting away’ to a distant tropical beach, is the only time we start to unwind from this intensity that we live. Your words here Luz have reminded me how utterly and completely free I can feel, and that in truth these things I have held onto for so long, have nothing to do with me. I have known this for a long time, but it is like the holding on has become like a disguise I can wear. But now, I don’t want to go undercover anymore.

  27. ‘It feels as if all of human life is about `holding onto´ something so we can keep our existence valid through productions, creations, designs, dramas and struggles.’

    This blog is awesome. I am inspired to consider my life differently. I notice I often feel an unease, like I’m adrift so rather than appreciate who I am and what I bring to the world as I focus on my connection with me and God, I try to alleviate this dis-ease by putting in effort to create anchors that I think will keep me in place – so like keeping my job, friends, a home to live, especially as the world seems more unpredictable than ever which is unnerving when I have dis-connected from the universal wisdom of God’s love. I’ve been using force to ensure these anchors not only stay solid but become more secure. But this has made me ill from constantly being in nervous tension and fighting, not surrendering, to God’s love. Just this morning washing my face I could feel it puffy and inflamed. But I have realised this and am letting go of outcomes and the pictures of how things should be. I’m saying yes to knowing and honouring my natural rhythms and appreciating all the gifts that God presents but I’ve been too narrow-minded to see.

    1. I love this Karin – saying yes to our natural rhythms and appreciating the amazingness that is always all around us, all of the time – if only we are open to seeing it. The more I say yes to my natural rhythm, the easier it becomes to live it, and appreciate that it brings me back to the solidity of who I am.

  28. Letting go of any form of holding on feels like a huge relief. It can feel so scary to think of letting go of anything that has become familiar or has been acting as a support, but when we actually do it is so liberating and very freeing. The energy that has been used to hold on can then be used for other things.

  29. Thank you Luz, every time I read this I’m surprised by the new depth of understanding your words give me. I feel my body reflects a lot of holding onto things, as if I believe I can drag the past around with me. It’s interesting that we hold onto the dramas, pain and struggle when the whole universe and its inherent sacredness is there on offer for us to be part of. This to me reflects how reduced human life is compared to the grandness we come from and can reconnect back to at any time.

  30. There is much we hold onto well past its use by date. It is fair enough for example that we get hurt by someone’s actions towards us. But then we spend a lifetime holding the world and everyone else to ransom as a result of that one person’s actions. If you truly understand what that means, then you start to appreciate the ludicrousness of the guards we hold up to the world and others.

  31. I have fully realised the crippling effect that holding onto hurts and traumas has on our present life and on our ability to be able to truly relate. At the first tiny feeling of a hurt I am onto it and getting back to the root cause to feel and deal with this hurt. Sometimes however we do not even know that we are carrying a hurt, and I have found that regularly going to have Esoteric Healing sessions means that any unseen hurt also has a chance of surfacing. This is the true alchemy that I was always looking for and it is life-changing.

  32. There can be a subtleness to ‘holding on’ as well in the way you feel it and the way it steps into your body. One day it can be a slight change in how you express and after a week or two it can be more of a firmness in how you hold your body. What I am saying is that if it was a big change in an instance most of us we really sense or feel it and so know something is up but for me there is different levels and the one to truly see is the creeping one. The almost slide of hand holding on that you don’t think there is much of a change and yet it builds on itself and so after a week or two you have been nudged and nudged to a point where you still think nothing is up but yet there are signs around you that something isn’t right. The way you live, your routine and quality of that routine or rhythm is hugely important in feeling these subtle changes. In fact for me the quality of the way of live is the only way I see this subtleness creep in.

    1. If the density is brought about by habitually holding onto things over a period of time, then it makes sense that this can’t be undone overnight. Letting go of all that we’ve been holding on to is also a process, and it starts with awareness of what these things are, how they are hurting us, and a willingness to let them go.

  33. Luz what you have written makes so much sense, especially when you ask a simple question
    “What sort of energy or what quality of energy are we using to keep our existence going? Could it be that by `holding onto´ we are not controlling anything?”
    I feel that holding on to something is an excuse we use to stay stuck in life, the feeling that we can have of going round in circles going nowhere, and of course we are not going to go anywhere until we change the energy that we are using to sustain our life.

    1. Holding onto things as an excuse for staying stuck.. When we’re stuck, it’s an opportunity to look more closely within: what are the thoughts, movements or behaviours that we’re repeating, perpetuating and holding onto that are keeping us in the rut.

  34. It’s like everything is passing through us, and we let something stick and crystalise and we want to think that is us – whatever that is, the good, the bad, the ugly and everything in between. Densification gives us something to hold onto, an identity, we get to know ourselves as a separate, individual unit, away from the whole. What is so great about being an individual that we would even be prepared to live with great pain and hurts? And I know I often find it very hard to let go of my limbs, there’s holding that would even fight the gravity – and it causes tension and pain. I really want to know what I have been holding onto.

    1. There’s a big difference between wanting to know things from my head, and from my body. It’s only when every cell of my body really wants to get to the truth of something that I manage to get to it: it’s a simple knowing that is deeply felt, without any trying to get there through the mind.

  35. I am starting to see in no uncertain terms, the way I hold onto emotional upset and use this as an excuse to erect further walls between me and others. As soon as things as starting to get more intimate, accepting, loving or understanding, it is as if a prickly subject or poisonous comment gets wheeled in to upset the situation and create more barriers again. Thanks to your words here Luz, I can see it is absolutely me who is holding on for ‘dear life’ to the blockages I experience in life. What a horrible and stressful way to be, when you could make every day about connection and openness, verve and vitality. I know which way I would like my future to be.

  36. Reading your words again today Luz, makes it clear that these tensions, contractions and beliefs don’t just come and go but add up, and compound upon one another. So unraveling one, you can feel some relief, but the process doesn’t stop – but asks you to keep going deep. We have got so used to living stiff and so far away from our true graceful state that we easily accept a momentary break instead of our true natural inheritance – the true delicacy of our divinity.

  37. I still find it extraordinary that when I feel so light and joyful I can actually choose denseness over this feeling. The great thing is though that every moment is a moment of choice so those times when I do choose the denseness there is an opportunity to come back to the lightness of being and I feel the support in pulling me back on track. The more we clear the past and whatever we are holding on to, the less this attraction to the past and to denseness can have us sabotaging an otherwise joyful way.

    1. Letting go of all the things we’ve been holding onto over our life is a process – the more we clear, the deeper layers we see are there to be cleared, but the more we let go of, the more joy and lightness there is to feel.

    2. In addition to feeling lighter, letting go of and clearing the stuff we’ve held onto in the past raises our awareness and helps us to see where we’re still holding onto stuff. We also get to feel the contrast between this heaviness of holding onto things and the lightness we feel when we let it all go.

  38. The reasons for holding onto ‘density’ in whatever form like safety, stress, nervous tension etc are very convincing from the point of contraction but are actually a distraction to keep ourselves blind to the lightness we avoid. But obviously, we only can avoid what we clearly know and where and how to find it.

  39. I can so relate to what you have written about holding onto the hardness and tension and because I lived with this day in day out it never got acknowledge. I could justify my bone tiredness with a glass of wine at the end of the day and it’s not until I went to have sessions with Universal Medicine practitioners and started to let go of incidents, Ideals or and beliefs that I could feel a settlement in my body, my shoulders dropped and the nervous energy naturally dissipated the more I let go. I am now able to look at and be honest with myself and say that all these things are one big excuse for me to hold my self away from my personal relationship with The Way of The livingness which has brought me back to the true God not a false barstardised version of whom he is and what he represents.

  40. Density doesn’t offer us security, but more so it offers us a numbness to avoid feeling what there is to feel.

    1. We like to think that density offers us protection when the total opposite is true- the numbness and lack of awareness leaves us totally open to be played.

  41. Recently I have been asking myself ‘Why do I choose anxiety over conscious presence’ and discovered that I believed that the anxiety was far stronger and had power over me, which is so far from the truth. It just felt stronger because I have been choosing it for what seems like forever, and then I realised that by choosing it I am being abusive to myself because my body then has to deal with the pain and discomfort as a result.

    1. I always used to think that anxiety was just a part of me- it was unfathomable to me that it was actually a choice. Becoming more aware of my body and choosing to stay present has shown me that it really is a choice – I can observe the anxious thoughts as they come in and either indulge them, or say a firm no.

      1. I agree Bryony, there is a moment when we can choose to go there or stay firm and say no. And what I am finding is that there is constantly a low grade anxiety running which is subtle but now I can feel it, whereas before I would only catch the in your face type of anxiety. Observing this also highlights other things we do to stay individual.

  42. Luz, this really makes sense to me, ‘The mechanism of holding onto can be easily felt in our bodies in the form of pain, stiffness of muscles and body parts, tension, illness, shallow breath, weakened body systems, anxiety and so on.’ I observe this in others and have felt this in myself – the stiffness and tension, I can feel this in the heavy way in which I can move when I am holding onto resentments and frustration. Lately I have been letting go and allowing things to be and not reacting so much to others, having more understanding and acceptance, I have felt in my body how this letting go and not holding onto so tightly makes me feel feel much more at ease, lighter and I feel more playful and less tense.

  43. Luz, what a wonderful exploration of the various forms of ‘holding onto’ that we use in our every day because we are so used to them feeling a ‘normal’ way to be – when it is actually far away from being the open and loving beings that we are.

  44. mmmm…. it’s interesting reading this blog, as soon as I read the title I could feel i am holding onto something. I’m not sure what. Maybe something from my childhood – yes, being picked on – physically – with that I can feel a tension and hardness in my body, I would have dismissed all this before I read this blog. It’s amazing how we carry around all these events in our bodies for lifetimes or years. I definitely can relate to having a safe space or person to come to.

    1. Having a safe space – that first safe space is the one within ourselves, which is why we feel unsafe and vulnerable we feel when we leave ourselves. By leave ourselves I mean when we check out, get distracted, allow ourselves to be overrun and overwhelmed with emotions, for example. Choosing to stay more consciously present with my body has given me a stronger foundation and an openness to start to feel whatever comes up, and stay steadier in and with that.

  45. I find it rather ironic how control brings about feels of comfort and security and is often something we seek to have yet when we let go of control in any situation and accept and allow what happens to happen without giving our power away, there is the most undeniably freeing feeling in the body and it feels so much lighter and open! It shows that control is purely a mental game that is not a truth of the body in any way.

    1. I hadn’t thought of it that way, but anything that feels unnatural to the body is a construct- something we’ve invented to control and create life how we want and need it to be, instead of surrendering to the natural order and flow of things.

      1. This is great Bryony. This brings it back to the absoluteness of it all and the fact that one is either controlling life, situations, and hence outcomes to be how they want or need it to be. Or they are not controlling at all and instead allowing, accepting and understanding life by simply going with the flow of what it brings. Both starkly different ways of being and qualities of life. One is simple and with great ease in the body, the other is always bringing about tensions from trying to manipulate life.

  46. It is too easy to have a blanket statement that says ‘I’m holding onto things’ without going a little deeper and looking (as the author has done) at all the different ways in which this plays out. It is my understanding that holding onto the denseness only serves to keep us in individuality, and to avoid responsibility.

  47. ‘What sort of energy or what quality of energy are we using to keep our existence going? Could it be that by `holding onto´ we are not controlling anything?’ Great question Luz. There is absolutely nothing to hold on to and everything to gain from aligning to truth. In that space of being aligned with truth the flow of life is available and all that is needed is the movement to choose truth. Our body quickly lets us know the quality of our truth – in the case of being in ‘the flow’ a beautiful sense of equanimity comes which carries sureness, a solidness, a joy.

  48. Thanks Luz, another blog I continually come back to. In today’s read I could feel all the holding in my body and how exhausting it is. To let go means to create space and flow.

  49. Your blog Luz has got me feeling into when I do hold on and contract when I have reacted to something and have gone into protection. I really don’t feel protected at all actually, and it doesn’t ease the tension in me either. And I feel less about to deal with whatever is happening at the time. Whereas when I have stayed with myself and not reacted, that spaciousness feels so alive and full of potential and opens me up to move in a way that confirms the real me.

  50. Reading your experience makes me wonder just how much trauma we are all holding onto within our bodies and our not consciously aware of.

  51. “It feels as if all of human life is about `holding onto´ something so we can keep our existence valid through productions, creations, designs, dramas and struggles.” So true Luz. I have been noticing last couple of days how to be in misery I have to really work hard and keep thinking about it otherwise, naturally, things pass by and flow. Tensions often resolve naturally, it is only me who is standing in the way of this natural flow and grace.

    1. Our natural way to be is surrendered to that grace and flow. We make life so hard and complicated for ourselves by identifying with the struggle and the fight, when that is so far away from who we naturally are.

    2. Its so true Leike, we do have to work hard to stay miserable as we have to keep going over and over in our mind why we are feeling that way. But it takes just one simple choice to change that and to say no to it, in order to change the flow in our bodies. Ultimately how we are and how we feel, always comes down to our individaul choices.

      1. In my experience that’s the key to start letting go- to stay connected to the body as much as possible. The mind loves to hold on to whatever it can, to keep it busy and entertained, but holding onto stuff is not the body’s natural way of being at all.

  52. This is a great blog about ‘holding onto’ both in the body and the mind and our minds are a huge storage room for all the hurts, rejection, resentments ideals and beliefs we carry around with us and we seem to nurture the negativity of life and as you say Luz loose our perspective. Someone said if we were to turn everything upside down and only concentrate and focus on the positive aspects of life we would all live a more fulfilled meaningful life, something worth considering at least.

  53. This holding onto can be very insidious, I have come to a realisation that I have been holding on to a childhood hurt for the last 50 years which has been holding me back from truly expressing all of me to the world. I have found that the more we can discard the ideals and beliefs we take on as children the more we can free ourselves of the straight jacket we put ourselves into in order to fit in with family life.

  54. I am really aware that there has been so much hardness in my body, it has been amazing to feel it melt away and transform in to a lightness and gentleness. This has been with the support of Universal Medicine, Esoteric Modalities and also my commitment to be more observant of how my body is feeling so that I do not ignore the hardness, tensions and strain, but instead am able to be steady, and treat my body the way it needs to be treated and not ignore it. This long term is revolutionary.

    1. When I consider all the things I’ve held on to and am still holding onto, they all amount to the same thing: a security blanket to keep me safe and feeling secure in the world.. something to anchor my life with. But anchoring one’s life with things external to ourselves is precarious because then we rely on those things to give us a sense of security, when it can only ever, truly, come from within. In fact when we really connect we feel so strong and with ourselves that there’s no need for any kind of protection or holding on because there’s such a solidness – yet lightness – in knowing who we are.

      1. Thank you Bryony, you’ve inspired me to look more deeply at why I am holding onto things and what came to me was to keep the focus away from all that is light, my soul, and enjoying these things with appreciation. Life is not perfect and that’s what irks me, getting my head around the crazy things that happen, accepting situations and people as they are, and letting go of the pictures of what I would prefer life to be. Ironically, the freedom from the disturbances in the outer life is right there within me in my inner life via my connection to my soul.

  55. On reading your blog today Luz, I am aware how ever so subtly I can hold on to issues, values and beliefs. Quite a wake up call and a timely reminder to let go; to make a conscious responsible choice to ‘Let Go’ and truly stop holding on.

  56. There are ever deepening layers of holding on to discover in our bodies, and it is only our bodies that will show this pattern up. The mind can convince us we are relaxed, at ease, letting go, yet our body is the marker of truth and developing that relationship is the place to start and the only way to fully understand the harm hold on to can do.

  57. We Can also hold on shock in our body after a car accident. Every time after when being in the same situation we get stress in the body.
    I received a shock And trauma session after feeling the result of a car accident. After that treatment I did not have any problem anymore driving my car again.

  58. The irony is that in many cases we can be convinced that what we are holding onto is true for us, because it has become so familiar and therefore we assume ‘this is me’ when it is not. Unfortunately in our dishonesty only experience (life) can now teach us that what we are holding onto is not true, and this can be a very difficult lesson to learn.

  59. Strangely enough the best protection we can have is to let go of our illusion of control and surrender to love. This is actually true power and not what we imagine at all. I have not managed to fully let go myself yet as I still have bits I attempt to hold onto, but I have had enough moments and glimpses to be in awe of what it is like to truly let go and know that is the Way for me.

  60. When we finally choose to even start to let go of control, the difference in our everyday life is extraordinary, and the feeling in our bodies is wonderful.

  61. Such a brilliant blog Luz, it’s crazy to think we ‘hold onto’ the denseness because it’s familiar and we get to avoid being responsible, but learning to let go of any protection or hurts in my life has been a deeply healing experience that has allowed me to feel much more spacious and light.

  62. “Could it be that what we are “holding onto” is “holding onto denseness”?” – Great question Luz and I can really see where you are coming from with this – how by holding onto and in a way continually perpetuating an issue or issues we are keeping ourselves more dense than we need to be – it’s like carrying an unnecessary weight around with us that is numbing and distracting from what we could otherwise be aware of.

  63. ‘ If we get obsessed with a plan, goal or aim, we hold onto an image, expectation, method or strategy. We become fixated and easily lose perspective.’ I agree we hold onto denseness and when I become fixated and also anxious, I make my world, and body at the same time, very narrow. The space that is on offer when we step out of this chosen creation of ourselves is immense as we are all an equal part of the universe.

  64. Its funny I have recently embarked on some study and find that when I allow myself to become serious and stressed about completing the work my natural ease and lightness disappears. Stopping to take breaks regularly, going for walks and gently stretching all allow me to re-connect back to the lightness and the work becomes seamless and fun once again.

    1. Yes. I am the same I have really noticed recently how I can stay stuck in a position, eg behind a computer screen sitting at my desk and how I get suck in my expression and can also become heady and think that I am doing ok when I am not. Allowing my body to be more open and moving more frequently, walking away from my desk or just standing up and stretching in a way my body wants to move unwinds me and I am refreshed. Sometimes just getting up and waking to get some water and being really present in my walk and bringing the joy back that way is a real tonic.

  65. The part about feeling threatened caught me this time. Does a part of me feel threatened in exposing and possibly clearing away the denseness? So I hold on. Is there any part of me in any way still invested in and placing value in the denseness? And how much is there to appreciate and value of my light?

    1. That’s a great question Leigh and makes everything very black and white…..or is that dense and light? 🙂

  66. Having recently been asked the question ‘what in life are you holding onto’, and then having a discussion about taking risks, I realised that the need for security featured strongly in my life, and that by doing the things that I hold back on will help me to release this hold I have on life.
    So where does this need for security come from, and like this blog has stated it can come from childhood incidences which occurred many moons ago. I have many of these incidences but one which has come back to me only the other day was when living in Saudi in the 1960’s, we were living with armed military presence going to and from school. We as children were not allowed to engage with the local people because se were told that the women and children were used as decoys to harm us. We were also told not to pick up anything like a cigarette packet because the enemy put bombs in them. Also I have a vivid memory of looking through binoculars with my father on the balcony at bombs that there being detonated just streets away, and during a conversation between my parents I heard my father say that he refused the military to have a machine gun on the roof because they (the enemy) would be shooting at the building. After four years in Saudi things had become too dangerous to stay, so we waited all night for the armed escort to take us to the airport only to have the transport delayed due to a bomb at the airport. I could feel the anxiousness of my parents and remember feeling very unsafe as we boarded the rear of an army truck which took us to the airport under the veil of darkness.

  67. Old patterns of behaviour can dominate us for a long time, until we are honest about whether they are truly supportive and choose to let them go.

  68. There were times in my life that i lived in a constant position of brace and would freeze when i perceived threat or an inability to cope with what was before me. It is deeply freeing to have let go of such behaviours and patterns and to remain open – in the knowing that when i am connected and not in such protective behaviours, i am equipped to respond to all that is before me every time.

  69. Yes holding onto things doesn’t support us at all. Why is it we learn the hard way most of the time, with our bodies needing to go through usually some kind of pain, illness or disease even before we actually listen? It seems really crazy that we do this to ourselves, but we do.

  70. Thank you Luz, this is a blog I repeatedly come back to and offers much to reflect on. It is more a study than a blog! Your discovery and understanding of yourself has reminded me of how much compassion has entered my life since attending Universal Medicine Workshops, particularly the Sacred Esoteric Healing (SEH) workshops. During these, particularly in the SEH 2 which focuses on childhood trauma stored in the body, I have also uncovered and understood many of the reasons why I had behaviours, feelings, or thoughts which were a bit confusing. As I accessed these traumas and experiences still stored in my body my behaviours etc made perfect sense after connecting them back to the childhood experiences. This understanding that I gained of myself also then flows on to understanding others, and to know there is a reason why others are like they are, regardless of how confusing as it can sometimes look on the surface.

  71. Bracing in day to day life, distorts the flow that we are otherwise in and creates barriers between ourselves and others… such an incarcerating way in which to live hampers our ability to truly respond to life and to be at one with the world.

  72. Recently I came up with an experiment and that is to enjoy without reservation every experience in life where there is no perfection and there is not the possibility to control. In such experiments, my job was to enjoy and commit to enjoying the moment as truly as possible, it changed my life, it was absolutely awesome. I discovered that when I can let go of wanting life to be in a certain way (my way), I am allowing my body to surrender to what is, and in return, I am being supported like I have never been before. This trust that I am starting to allow my body to feel, is the foundation of support that gets reflected back from the world.

  73. We hold on with the fear of losing control . But when we let go, connect and surrender to our true feelings, our innate intelligence it is very freeing and empowering, and allows life to consulate in the most beautiful way.

  74. Holding onto simply means sticking to what gives us a sense of security. We could say there is nothing wrong about wanting to feel safe, but we need to be honest and check what´s the price of that, what do we possibly miss out on, close off from or shut out. We need to see the whole picture to evaluate what security and holding onto is and does, then we can make wise choices about holding onto or letting go.

  75. I could relate to the feeling of childhood trauma that leaves you feels insecure, unsafe and alone. I still find I can choose to believe that energy at times, making my body go hard and shut off from the world around me. Yet through Serge Benhayon’s teachings and the Universal Medicine modalities, I know that turning my body into a fortress doesn’t work and only harms me. No matter how protected we may believe we are behind our walls, energy flows through us constantly. We may as well be open to feel it and enjoy being held in oneness.

  76. It’s truly amazing how “letting go” of our mental pictures, our beliefs and our patterns or reactions have a very physical effect on the body, and as we deepen and become more still with our own presence we see there are many energetic layers around us that we are quite connected to it is quite exquisite.

  77. We really do make it a competitive sport, holding onto things in our lives that do not suit us. We talk about others, we replay stories with loads of emotions, so that means it stays in our bodies and poisons us, which is not great. It is the letting go and letting love in that will always be the better and truer way to live.

  78. Thankyou for sharing. What a blessing you are sharing with us, that even the major events from our past which have bearing on how we hold ourselves thereafter can be healed in our bodies and not affect nor hinder our expression with ourselves and others. It’s a reminder that there is always a choice moment to moment to live all that we know is true or be affected by patterns of living from the past which haven’t served us.

  79. Tension in the body is actually great to be able to feel, because if I can feel it I can start to observe it and then I can choose to unwind it and awareness of its origin starts to become clear. This process may repeat thousands of times, but each time I feel a little lighter with more flow and clearer supporting thoughts.

  80. Yes we hold onto things that are familiar because we feel safe and secure as life is predictable, yet at the same time this robs ourselves of the opportunity to experience something grander than we could ever imagine…

  81. Recently I’ve been waking up feeling very heavy and definitely dense. Holding onto the denseness in the ways you’ve described to avoid feeling even more lightness in my body and stepping forward in a part of life I have yet to explore from an energetic understanding. This holding on has only been detrimental to my health and well-being. I feel it would be a huge leap forward in medicine if we added in what we hold onto as a causal factor to illness and disease.

  82. One of our most favourite things to hold onto is our hurt. We have to learn to let them go so we can truly experience our glory.

  83. Holding onto really relates to how we hold onto our hurts and resentments highlighting how our hurts strengthening our individuality and separation from others.

  84. When I hold onto anything because I want to control a situation and trying to protect me, I’m reducing myself, forgetting the understanding the ‘big picture’ of what’s happening could offer to me. While holding onto contracts me, letting go expands me. This is something significant for me to remind everytime I fall in those patterns

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