Our Bodies Hold the Key to the Truth of Who We Are

Recently my sister sent me a photo of her and I as kids. I had not seen this photo before and when I looked at it, something about it made me come to an abrupt halt. What struck me so forcibly was seeing how naturally loose and relaxed our bodies were. There is an exquisite lightness and natural ease that seems to flow through both of us.

My Sister and I (Alexis Stewart (right))
My Sister and I (Alexis Stewart (right))

When I look at that photo now, my body remembers exactly what it was feeling at the time. Firstly, I was upside down and my whole body delighted in being upside down; it also loved to spin, jump, run, tumble and roll.

The climbing frame that we are on was made by my Dad out of branches and my hands and feet knew every single inch of that climbing frame. Just behind the climbing frame was a compost heap; my nose still remembers the rich, mulchy smell of warm, decomposing grass. Next to the compost heap was Dad’s shed, which was an intriguing place that smelt of creosote.

My body still holds the memory of the stiff bolt that had to be worked free in order to get in amongst the wheelbarrow and tools. Next to the shed was an enchanting willow tree, whose bendy branches draped right down to the ground, making a giant skirt of slim tough leaves. Another world existed when we went under the skirt of leaves and into the tent of the tree. My body was as supple and natural as the thin young branches of the willow tree.

Somewhere in the garden, Tommy the tortoise was hiding. I delighted in trying to spot his smooth patterned shell and ancient shrivelled neck. When I watched him eat, my eyes were riveted by the sight of his strange lipless mouth, grinding up lettuce. To this day, my body still recalls a feeling of timelessness when I hear a plane high up in the summer sky or the sound of neighbours mowing their gardens at the weekend.

I lived life from my body; my senses were what connected me to life. Life and I were one and the same. Life was simple, life was joyous, life was harmonious and life was very, very easy. I never thought twice about the fact that I loved life. This is how life was for me up until I was 9 years old.

At the age of 9, my family moved from a small village in North Yorkshire to Watford, a major town not far from London. We swapped the countryside that I played in for major roads and a lot of traffic. That in itself was not enough to change how I felt about life, but it was coupled with a difficult transition into a new school and it is how I chose to react to the challenges that presented themselves that set me on a completely different tack.

The children in my new school were very different to the friends that I had left. Despite the fact that we were all only 9 years old, many of them had already hardened and become aggressive. My sensitive body felt assaulted when it heard the F or C word and it reeled from the animosity that was directed at me and others. This was the first time in my life that I can remember feeling emotional pain in my body. I felt like I was being suffocated from the inside and I was at a loss as to know what to do with the pain.

My reaction was to actively choose to change the way that I was being. My body hardened as I pretended that I was not hurt by what was going on. I tried to fit in and please others, I tried to fly under the radar. The ironic part is that if had I chosen to keep being the real me, then I wouldn’t have needed any protection at all because it’s impossible to hurt an open heart.

But alas, I left the Land of the Real Me and went walkabout in the Land of Who I Was Not. My walkabout lasted nearly forty years. It seems that once I left The Land of the Real Me, I also lost sight of who I was and so chose an array of different images to inhabit. For all intents and purposes, I became as authentic as a hologram.

Weary and exhausted, I arrived on the doorstep of Serge Benhayon and the teachings of The Ageless Wisdom. The profound teachings that Serge Benhayon presents have supported me to re-connect back to my body and I am beginning to feel like the beautiful, willowy child that I once was.

I have come to understand that it is through our connection to our bodies that we re-member who we are. By re-uniting with my body, I have been re-united with myself and by re-uniting with myself, I have been re-united with the connection to God that I knew in my body as a child.

‘Thanks,’ even if ‘heartfelt,’ is not in any way sufficient as an expression of my gratitude to Serge Benhayon for being all that he is and all that he brings.

By Alexis Stewart, partner of an amazing man, mum of a stunning boy, dedicated student of The Way of The Livingness, care worker, yoga teacher  

Further Reading:
Listening to Your Body
I Found Observing My Body Is A Great Support
Listening To My Body and Honouring My Feelings

618 thoughts on “Our Bodies Hold the Key to the Truth of Who We Are

  1. I too have beautiful memories of the simplicity and absolute joy I felt as a child, much like you Alexis, enjoying very basic things and exploring my environment and nature, these all gave me great joy and a deep curiosity of these things.

  2. A beautiful reminder Alexis that we don’t need to harden our body to protect ourselves, that through reconnecting back to the truth of who we are through feeling the love and inner wisdom within our body we are able to live life openheartedly as we naturally did as children.

  3. You have summed up the trajectory from losing ourselves to the world, what we find we can’t handle and what is expected of us, really well: “It seems that once I left The Land of the Real Me, I also lost sight of who I was.” We leave behind what is innate, true and precious and play ball with whatever until there is someone who reflects a true way to be – thank God for Serge Benhayon and The Ageless Wisdom.

  4. I also can remember the times before life got serious and it seemed like the light/life was sucked out of me. It’s such a shame that the world is set up to do this to us and we have to go all around the houses to get back to what we didn’t need to leave in the first place.

  5. Life was simple, life was joyous, life was harmonious and life was very, very easy. Life is easy and simple when we just be the love that we are….and we make it about people first, life just unfolds and flows and all that we need for our future is already within.

  6. I too was one who left “the Land of the Real Me and went walkabout in the Land of Who I Was Not.”, but I didn’t think it was abnormal to do so as everyone else around me appeared to doing the same thing. It sure made it very challenging to get to really know someone as from the moment they began to speak something felt off. To be presented with the key and with it the choice to return to the “Land of Real Me” by Serge Benhayon, was the most wonderful gift ever, especially when I realised that I had actually never left me, I had just buried me under my endless array of un-loving choices. That sure was an ouch moment!

    1. Ingrid that is a key point that you have shared, none of us know that we have left the Land of the Real Me because everyone else is shuffling around in exactly the same land. Not only that but that wasteland has actually become our focus, it is full of ideas, images and pictures that are so full of promise as they lure us towards them. We are encouraged to think about different jobs and what identity they will bring us and in addition to that we can then add hobbies that will also bring identification, as well as an entire array of an insurmountable amount of other images that we add to our empty carcass in the false hope of feeling full.

  7. Wow! Just five minutes before literally stumbling upon your post I was remembering the time I was hanging upside down on my swing set and how flexible and relaxed my body used to be. I miss that body! And I miss the pure joy that simple act of hanging upside down brought me. I too moved a year or two later into a very rough neighborhood that I was unprepared to face. Fortunately, I was able to escape to my father’s house every so often where I could just be me. Thanks for sharing.

  8. Our bodies are well and truly designed to respond a greater version of ourselves, impulsed purely by our Soul rather than the mind driven existence that we currently experience today. This greater version is in harmony with the universe where we are no less but in fact a part of the flow and synchronicity, as we, our bodies are all constituted of the same quality of particles and a such belong to the same Divine order. As children, we live as you described with ‘…an exquisite lightness and natural ease that seems to flow through…’ our bodies, yet we soon learn that this natural way is not the way that is lived as we grow up and we begin to shut down, harden, override this connection and so we deform our natural way of being to fit in or protect ourselves. But forever remains the particles in our bodies that hold the truth of who we are, forever waiting for us to return to this truth so we are guided by the greatest friend we could ever ask for in order to freely live the greater reflection of who we are in essence.

  9. ‘But alas, I left the Land of the Real Me and went walkabout in the Land of Who I Was Not. My walkabout lasted nearly forty years. It seems that once I left The Land of the Real Me, I also lost sight of who I was and so chose an array of different images to inhabit. For all intents and purposes, I became as authentic as a hologram.’ Love the symbolic 40 years Alexis! And I love how you write about leaving the Land of the Real me. This is a wonderful way to describe the vibrational levels at which we can choose to live. And every one of us who steps away from our connectedness to God lives as a shadow of our former selves – a hologram – a virtual reality! I certainly now what THAT feels like. Thank God for Serge Benhayon who has illumined the return back to Soul!

  10. No matter what life presents we can choose to stay in that connection and knowing of who we are or if we do ‘fall off’ we can also return to that knowing. When we finally do acknowledge that everything is energy, when we are faced with situations where people are not themselves we can see that they are simply choosing an energy that is not them and there is no need to take anything personally. This has been a grand revelation.

  11. “I have come to understand that it is through our connection to our bodies that we re-member who we are.” And from this reconnection to our bodies, our every movement made brings us back to the divine relationship with God and the absolute joy, clarity and awareness we return to brings us closer to others we connect with too. A very cool way to live and be in the world today.

  12. Leaving the sweetness of our connection with our childhood bodies is a wayward path many of us tread, until we become aware again of the treasures we left behind. This often occurs through an illness, a disease or a tragedy in life, which results in us seeking healing and, as you share Alexis, turning up on the doorstep of Serge Benhayon and reconnecting with our bodies through our reconnection with the Ancient Wisdom Teachings, once again

  13. Sometimes we allow distractions, beliefs and or pictures of things in and disconnect from our ever present innocence, gentleness and joy and yet with just one simple choice we can return to that natural flow and see the key of truth that is our bodies one connection to the soul within. The quality felt from this connection is also undeniably noted by all who flow into our lives also.

  14. There was a time when I felt quite bogged down with the misery of being an adult and feeling bereft for having lost that childhood connection, and meeting Serge Benhayon was key to coming back to the childhood innocence and wonder we experienced as a child – it never leaves us, we just bury it under protection.

  15. It’s so true that an open heart is the best form of ‘protection’ we can ever have! It shows us that we have access to love from within us all the time regardless of how another is behaving and so our connection is not dependent on others but on how we are ourselves.

    1. I read those words, I know them to be true and I so wish we were brought up to live that in every moment so it was our normal in the face of conflict rather than the hardening as a form of protection. Time to be that change for the next generation.

  16. Reading this I was reminded of the joy and freedom I felt in my body as I child as well and then chose to harden up and protect myself as I felt this was the only way to survive. It’s been quite a journey to unravel the hurts and protection but a great joy to begin to experience a deeper connection to the body once again and to feel how simple and empowering this choice can be.

  17. Alexis, when I look at your photo I am reminded of that same feeling that I used to have as a child of being loose and relaxed in my body. It is an exquisite feeling and what is fantastic is that I have re-discovered this same feeling as an adult. Getting go of hurts has supported me to do this.

    .

  18. It’s interesting when we step back and look at life – as children some of us can’t wait to grow up, even if it is just to the next age level or for some it’s wanting to be a teenager and to have more ‘freedom’, and yet when we get there some put the brakes on and say ‘I don’t want to grow up’ and equate being a young child as more carefree and fun and want to go back to that. If only we learned or was reminded that this is just because we separated from our true self as a child and that it is not about us wanting to be a child again it is more accurately us wanting to be connected to ourselves again and not taking on the stressors of life. If we don’t get this then we are in the illusion that we can’t live that always because it’s way back in the past… instead knowing that at any time we can choose to connect and all the love, joy, playfulness and lightness of what we know from being a child is there in an instant.

  19. I can relate to everything that you share here Alexis. I also was very alive when I was a child, simple, wild, trutful, expanded, sensitive, joyful,… Life was simple as myself, and love was a natural flow that supported me subtly but strongly at the same time. I also moved from the place I grew up during my first 6 years, to a very unloving place. I also shut down myself for long time and I’m also coming back to my vulnerability again with Serge Benhayon’s teachings. It’s beautiful to feel and confirm in this process that I had never lost anything from my essence. The great news are that I’m as pure and alive as I was when a child.

    1. There is nothing that comes even remotely close to returning to the truth of who we are. In fact when I look out from the gloriousness of the reacquainted me, I can see that so much of life is a very shabby substitute for the connection that most of us have lost. We seek it here, we seek it there but most of us fail to peek inside, which is where it sits like an untouched jewel.

  20. The key to connecting to the truth of who we are is through reuniting with our body and developing a deeper relationship with ourselves to be able to build and hold a natural inner steadiness and quality with an openness to engaging fully with life and people as we did so simply when we were young.

  21. “I lived life from my body; my senses were what connected me to life. Life and I were one and the same.” When we see life and how we move within it as an equal part of the whole we can see how the energy in which we move and how we connect to our bodies fine movement all plays a integral part in our health and wellbeing. Moving from our bodies true expression will carry a quality of life that mirrors this movement.

    1. By ‘moving from our bodies true expression’ we effortlessly get absorbed back into the body of Life. It is by deliberately making our movements separate to the natural flow of Life, that we end up standing out in relief from it, hence the almost universal experience of feeling displaced.

  22. There is no appreciation when we are young to just how sensitive we all are and in trying to protect our sensitivity we harden ourselves against our environment. And like you Alexis it wasn’t until I came across Serge Benhayon that it was brought to my attention of the possibility that the vast majority of us are walking around in suits of armour trying to protect ourselves against the slings and arrows of life. But if we re connect back to the true flow of love that is within us all we do not need to go around suited and booted in armour, this falls away naturally so.

  23. I was looking at some recent photos taken of me running a race with my grandson and his friend. The joy on our faces from playing that simple game was just bursting out of the photos. I allowed myself to have fun with them rather than standing back and leaving them to it. Lots of adults seem to hold themselves back from being playful. When did life become so serious?

  24. I re-lived your experiences as I read your blog Alexis, just so many memories of my own mixed with yours. Why is it we jump to anothers rhythm when we feel ill-at-ease in a new environment? How wonderful to have found your way home.

  25. Thanks Alexis, delightful to read your blog again. As a kid I met life with gusto exploring everything and not holding back, and particularly enjoying being me in my body – boy, doesn’t that change as we grow up, and often before we hit double figures. Children are our true teachers because they live in way we need to learn to return to.

    1. Melinda children are our true teachers but what’s devastating to feel is that rather than listen to their unabridged wisdom, we squash and compress them into contorted shapes to meet and suit our warped interpretation of life. It’s nothing short of a travesty.

  26. Melinda children are our true teachers but what’s devastating to feel is that rather than listen to their unabridged wisdom, we squash and compress them into contorted shapes to meet and suit our warped interpretation of life. It’s nothing short of a travesty.

  27. The body is the vehicle through which we live, and whether we acknowledge it or not, it offers us great insights every day.

    1. Beautifully said Heather – it is for us simply to tune into the messages and listen to the body so that we can best benefit from the simplest and most powerful connection to nature, and thus the wisdom of the universe.

  28. I can still connect to that feeling every time I choose to be with my body… true I’ve found more distractions as I’ve got older, but at the same time I deeply value that feeling of being in my body, the beating of my heart, the pulse in my hands, the warmth throughout. So natural and easily available any time.

  29. “By re-uniting with my body, I have been re-united with myself and by re-uniting with myself, I have been re-united with the connection to God that I knew in my body as a child.” Beautiful Alexis. Reconnecting with our body – what could be simpler? And how many of us – including myself – so often ignore its messages?

    1. Being that we all have a body, one would imagine that connecting to it would be easy, but alas it’s not. There is a consciousness that is dedicated to doing all that it can to hamper our ability to connect with our bodies. What this has resulted in, is a world that is primarily geared up to distorting our connection with ourselves and this we have come to call ‘life’.

      1. Thank you Alexis for a beautiful sharing of reuniting with yourself and God by reconnecting to your body. Staying connected to our bodies all the time is not that easy. So often I get carried away by my thoughts, but when I choose to stop connect to my body and just breath I feel a beautiful warmth and steadiness within, feeling the true me and my connection to the divine.

      2. Jill the reason why most people find it difficult to connect with their bodies, is because the world has been purposefully set up to make it hard for us to stay connected to our bodies. The pranic consciousness that is layered over the top of life’s natural fiery consciousness is designed to way lay us in our return to soul and it does a very good job. I feel to add however, that ‘way lay’ is all it’s able to do because it can never actually sever our connection to God, our connection to God remains a constant, even if we can’t actively feel it.

  30. So many of us have left that innocence and sensitivity behind as we grew up, meeting Serge Benhayon has been allowing myself and others as you show in this blog to return to our true self.

  31. “My sensitive body felt assaulted when it heard the F or C word and it reeled from the animosity that was directed at me and others.” I love this sentence as it brings so clearly to the fore how tough and rough we have all become to endure and live with the words we use day in day out. And yet we have all once been as sensitive as you describe.

  32. I love the freedom, the flow, the connection and joy that is shared here in Alexis’s childhood. I look around the world today and I very rarely see this level of ‘self’ in todays children. Yes there are some who have it and absolutely shine with it, but there are way too many that are already living lives of anxiety, depression and checking out from their families, schools and society. This is not normal and is something that we all need to hold high in our awareness as each of us holds the link back to joy – through claiming our own and living it again, as shared by Alexis.

  33. Ingrid, I love the way you describe your early childhood years. We get to feel you as you explore the world around you – everything seen, felt and connected. To reclaim yourself after losing you will inspire others to know it’s never too late to begin again.

  34. I too recall moments of ‘timelessness’ as a child with the sound of the lawnmower in the background, or a plane passing overhead. I love that feeling, that feeling of being and belonging to nothing in this world, yet knowing that everything matters, and I still cherish those moments when they happen.

  35. What a lovely sharing Alexis. It is so tangible how you felt and lived as child. Beautifully written, underlined with the photo that radiates joy from the body. I too am returning to this joy which I vaguely remember as a child, and that is hard work, as the seriousness, hardness and protection is deeply ingrained but very worthwhile.

  36. Give or take a few details, the essence of what was described in your early childhood was what I also experienced. In fact, one of the houses I lived in part time had a turtle and every day after school I would play in the backyard looking for Smiler the turtle, making sure he knew that he couldn’t hide from me. When I would find him, I would pick him up like a hamburger and pretend to eat him and he would tuck his head and feet in. I was free and life was about fun and adventure. Then at about age 10 I began to observer my older sister becoming a teenager and was exposed to what the world was ‘really like’. I realised that I had to change who I was if I wanted to be liked and get a boyfriend. That I had to act and look a certain way to get attention. In this, my innocence was lost and I began my false path to try and fit in. Now, all these years later, I am blessed to be free of trying to be cool and fit in and it is not because I grew out of it, as I see plenty of people my age still engaged with the world in this way. The reason I am able to embrace my inner child and have fun again without drugs or alcohol is because I found The Way of the Livingness. This teaching invites all to remember the child inside and celebrates the heart and the freedom it holds!

    1. Love it Sarah. By reading it you revoke memories of how I used to live, who I am, and what is still there underneath all these patterns and ingrained behaviors which I so clearly know I am not. The Way of the Livingness and its teachings that helps me a lot.

  37. That is also what I experienced so much while studying with Universal Medicine.
    The re-Union with myself through the re-Union with my body And there is when we can feel God.

  38. Beautiful picture of the Land of the Real Me, Alexis. Something I can really connect to as it triggers memories like I used to live and a feeling that is still inside me. I know it can be lived again, so, just like you, with the teachings of Serge Benhayon, with loving discipline I am working to returning to this Land of the Real Me once again. Not to change who I am, but to let go of what I am not.

  39. Whatever happened when I was young? I remember having a lot of fun, pictures showing a very joyful boy that radiated. I discovered that also jealousy made me withdraw, and made me contract in such away that my body adjusted to this way of living. The impact of not dealing with jealousy at work.

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