True family is a phrase often used fraudulently and not applied in its fullest sense. However, in the core of what true family stands for, lies the key to returning society to its joyous and harmonious state.
My first sense of true family was sitting down to eat dinner with Serge Benhayon, his wife Miranda, his three out of four children present at the time – Curtis, Michael and Natalie – and his ex-wife Deborah. YES – Ex-wife.
For me, at the tender age of 12, to watch a family sit at a meal table with what society would deem the most unorthodox of melanges, plus observing every Benhayon family member to be as loving with each other as the next, with no tension, no discrimination and certainly with no sliver of comparison or jealousy anywhere in sight, was absolutely ground breaking.
Not only was the love shared within what we’d call their immediate family circle, for as I sat at that table I was wholeheartedly welcomed into the family meal along with the subsequent ones, never even remotely prejudiced by the fact I had only met Serge a few times in the two years I had known him and the rest of his family even less – some members not at all – OR by the fact Serge’s children and I had grown up on opposite ends of the planet OR the fact that at the time I myself did not see them as my family. On their behalf, there was NO holding back in LOVE. I was truly welcomed and embraced as an equal member of the family.
Fast-forward six years to my first parent-free trip out of Europe heading to Australia. I settled into Sydney’s North Shore in my new household with a family I had never met prior to my trip except for one brief conversation over Skype – The Walls Family – a family that made one generally awesome trip a LIFE ALTERING journey.
During my time staying with the Walls’ I was never treated as a guest, an ‘outsider’, a person who might come and go, be that in times when something was celebrated, or when Katie would bring home slices of banana bread for the family and never forget to include me, or when it was time for me to be pulled up and told that my behaviour was unacceptable, just as my biological mother back in London would do.
To be treated as an absolute equal and to the same extent a vital part of the family, allowed me growth beyond growth and learning that no training course or higher education facility could provide.
The Walls family gave me the space to grow from a boy to a man, all whilst gently and super lovingly supporting me to be able to make my own choices and to take care of all that needed to be felt, read, appreciated, respected, understood and lived. The Love, Appreciation, Gratitude, Adoration and Respect I hold for every member of the Walls and Benhayon families is not an atom less than what I hold for my own mother, who has raised me from birth.
And so when I reflect on what true family is, in my bones I know it is not blood bound or placenta promised, as the experiences I have had with the Benhayon family and the Walls family have shown me. I have been truly blessed to have had these exposures in my life.
It is now my absolute responsibility to hold others in the same quality of love, integrity and respect shown and shared with me by the Benhayons and the Walls’, to allow those I meet their own growth and learning.
Published with Permission of the Benhayon family and the Walls family.
By Michael Brown, 20 yr old student and retail supervisor, London UK
Further Reading:
Relationships
Family Love
My Brother – Not an In-Law
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
Thanks Michael as much can be appreciated about living with a unit / Truly extended family that is a true blessing to our every movement that also allows us to be part of a growing feeling which shares a complete and expanding relationship with others and heaven.
“To be treated as an absolute equal and to the same extent a vital part of the family, allowed me growth beyond growth and learning that no training course or higher education facility could provide.” A lesson for all in the education field.
This is not the first time I have read this blog, and I love re-reading it as it is a beautiful reminder of how true family is about love and connection and a holding and respect and care for eachother as well as the pull up lovingly delivered to support us all to grow and evolve no matter our age.
We commonly define family as those who are related in terms of blood and name or marriage, and yet true family does not have to de defined by this narrow view: “And so when I reflect on what true family is, in my bones I know it is not blood bound or placenta promised, as the experiences I have had with the Benhayon family and the Walls family have shown me. I have been truly blessed to have had these exposures in my life.”
One thing our current education system lacks is any form of true relationship support with ourselves, family and friends – society is rife with unhealthy relationships, yet this is not ever a subject even touched upon at school, hence this experience of Michael’s would have been invaluable in growing up: “To be treated as an absolute equal and to the same extent a vital part of the family, allowed me growth beyond growth and learning that no training course or higher education facility could provide.”
Family as you have shared Michael, has a way of deepening every relationship when we are open to letting them in or in being transparent in all we do, which is one and the same, and as when we live this as a True-model we drop all the comparisons (self orientated ideals) that hold us back from evolving.
I have experienced and witnessed a lot of abuse in different families, sometimes directed at me and other times between family members, and I can include host family situations when I lived overseas in this, and other non-blood families. Abuse is common in families, from the obvious to the subtle, so knowing and learning from the Benhayon family is such a blessing. Abuse is so normal when love could easily be that instead, and the Benhayon’s in my experience are leading the way.
Being pulled up with and by love. How often in the world do we do this? Yet it is something so simple, if we are truly in the space to do so. What a gorgeous photo of you and the Walls family. Pictures say a thousand words and that photo speaks many. When I look at that photo my body receives what equalness, joy, love, harmony, respect and integrity truly is ✨
Setting standards, and not accepting less is part of being loving, ‘ it was time for me to be pulled up and told that my behaviour was unacceptable’.
I can vouch for this experience with the Walls family putting up no walls when welcoming my son into their home as an equal part of the family.
Incredible that this is so natural yet has become something we need to qualify by saying ‘true family’ as the norm is now so far from this.
“It is now my absolute responsibility to hold others in the same quality of love, integrity and respect shown and shared with me by the Benhayons and the Walls’, to allow those I meet their own growth and learning.”
This is inspiring, to have a standard in life where respect, decency and love for all being our foundation.
‘And so when I reflect on what true family is, in my bones I know it is not blood bound or placenta promised…’ I love that Michael, because at the end of the day we can be true family with everyone.
I love this blog. The appreciation you bring Michael to what you have been shown and what you have learned is priceless. It is utterly gorgeous to read and digest.
This is how we can support each other and how we inspire each other for in being presented with equality and love no matter what the connection we have with another, we know in our bodies what this is, feeling and seeing it lived and in living it ourselves the next person we meet is shown it’s possible too. The magic of living and being us and allowing all others to see and feel it.
That fact that we even need to put the word “true” before family when we talk about true family shows that we all know that there is an untrue family!
True 😉
What an indictment on society it is that we find it groundbreaking for people to be loving with each other.
Love, decency and respect should be our norm in society, it is a sad fact that it is not.
The Livingness of Love holds all as family.
Love runs much deeper than blood, so why be bound by one when we can be unified with the many?
Simple and powerful words Liane that break conventional rules and yet make so much sense and are what bring growth to us all.
True family is not just limited to our blood family and since understanding this, I get the sense that the quality of true family is based on the foundation of love, equality, unity and brotherhood. My experience of family often doesn’t seem to hold these qualities and therefore this makes me question do we truly understand the true meaning of ‘family’?
I am beginning to understand what true family represents, which is to bring love and understanding into any situation that is presented. To be given the grace of expressing what needs to be expressed and to be heard. As I feel that many of us feel that what we have to say is not heard or appreciated and so we close down within the family unit this leads to a lessening of what is there to be expressed and shared.
Some of the most amazing people I consider family and definitely not blood related, it’s so simple it’s just about love not where you come from – family is very much a choice not a right.
It’s so true. Blood becomes irrelevant when you are loved so deeply by someone who doesn’t ‘have to’.
So true Meg, and same for me. I’ve have experienced great love, generosity, understanding and absolutely amazing support from people I call family who are not blood related. We innately know humanity is our family and when love is expressed this deeply confirms it.
Yeh these experiences confirm that no matter who we are or who another person is – there can be the same depth of love, support and understanding, whether it be a stranger on the street, or a good friend, or someone we live with every single day.
To experience the openness and welcome of true family inspires us to treat all as a loving family member of humanity.
When we experience something true, it can then become a marker for us. We get to feel the quality of it and then we know that no matter what is to follow, we can ‘measure’ this up and feel what is needed to bring more love to the relationship to allow it to be in its fullness and full capacity. For after all we are not here to live a half life – we are here to live in full and bring all our amazing qualities to all relationships and to bring the love we are to all.
The Benhayon’s show by their loving way never to give up on love; many of us have withdrawn from life but the pull of the love lived by the Benhayon’s and now many families who have adopted that way of living is too great and more and more people are coming out of their protective shells and starting to re-embrace love and life again. Meeting these people is like a breath of fresh air in a stuffy room.
Once we experience true family it is impossible to go back to what we have believed family to be before, as once the marker of love has been set, we know what true love is and our own responsibilities in that love for ourselves and others, a responsibility of true quality.
Family is family, when family is love.
To be welcomed by a family as a family member and nothing less is the most heartwarming experience, especially when you are on the other side of the world, away from what you may be used to at home. To have a group of people to support you, love and cherish you is so normal yet, so rare in our world.
Gorgeous Michael. All these articles inspired by either Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine or the Benhayon family are by very first read already truly inspiring. They show us that there is another way to be, one that is loving and truly joyous. To be love and to share this love with others.
To feel held, acknowledged, and loved, by those who understand what true family is is so profoundly and deeply healing.
When we experience something true, it’s hard to accept what is not true.
Not only hard, but a force must be used.
Thank you Michael, a full story of what it means to have actually true family, and how often we have accepted lovelessness under the flag of family.
I have definitely fallen for the false version of family and now that I understand what true family is this opens up a whole new level of responsibility and love that is starting to expose the false version simply by living true family and accepting nothing less than love.
To accept only what we know is true fire – brotherhood, and that is eventually with our whole humanity not blood bound.
Family, is a place many experience abuse, it seems that because they are family that supposedly gives another permission to be abusive.
Having true relationships with others provides the space for us all to evolve and that level of Love will set boundaries with standards that become our normal way of living.
I love that what Serge shares about all is one life. If we live truly with love and care for ourselves and others we bring the same quality in all the different areas of our life as work, home, with friends etc. We don’t treat some better then others. Our heart is open to all. This is what Serge and his family reflect so beautiful. All is felt when you meet them.
Any experience the body registers as true, remains forever as a treasure and as a marker of what is possible and normal. So, it has the possibility of turning into our new standard.
I can feel what true family is and when I read this I wonder if I would have let the love in. I am feeling this connection with others more so and daring to feel vulnerable. I could say my fear of it disappearing gets in the way from me fully letting it all in but really what I can feel is that there’s a responsibility being asked of me. I’m being asked to be the love that I am. There is all the love and understanding in the world and it will never ignore or give up on me – like I had done. This is worth coming back to even.
Reading this blog made me to ponder what true family is. Is it our blood family or is there more to family we do not fully understand yet because we have been fed the concepts of how family should be like, the concepts that are held by many people and therefore ’the’ truth, but maybe not the real truth.
What if family has nothing to do with blood lines and genealogy but more so with an inner connection and above all a responsibility to live with one another such that we make love our guide and with that fully support each other to become more and more of ourselves, every day we live together?
I love if people experience in our house they are very welcome and equal to all.
This article really shows the true power of family and how it can be a support for the development of all of society, because now, as you take this experience out in to the world, what you contribute to life is different or changed from what it was before as now you are more responsible, and you are more willing to just be you.
That to me is the power we are offered from living in families, we do learn in the small society of the family and from that you will bring it to the outer society and to the world.
Beautifully shared Michael, to be treated with deep love, respect and equality is what true family is all about. We are so blessed to have this understanding about family and be able to live and share this love equally with all.
I welcome the day everyone treats everyone with love, respect, decency and equality.
I’ve often heard the concept that there are no strangers just people I don’t know yet but this sharing takes it to another level – if we’re willing to be open and treat each person as our family with expectation we in fact live that we are all one family and there are no strangers.
I love what you have shared here Michael, true family is not limited by blood, when we drop pictures of what family is we discover the deeper connections we all share universally with each other.
Gorgeous to read this expression of family – and that it is not about blood. There are so many relationships we can develop with those around us, that can be full of love and that can support us in full. Family is about a shared responsibility indeed.
And so it ripples further, I love how you’ve now got in you the lived experiences of true family and are now offering that to all you meet. Very inspiring Michael.
We miss out on life and what it has to offer when we treat our ‘own’ differently to another for our responsibility is not just to our blood family but to everyone that we meet and come into contact with.
When we discover the true meaning of ‘family’ it just keeps growing.
It is the quality of love integrity and respect that we hold others in that makes a family what it is. We often let this drop especially in blood families where we can take each other for granted or display emotions that we would rarely show outside family confines. Our first relationship is to ourselves so developing that in such a way that we hold ourselves in love integrity and respect will support us in all relationships. How awesome though to experience first hand this way of being with each other in a family situation. Thank you for sharing and knocking the ideal of blood family out of the water.
“It is now my absolute responsibility to hold others in the same quality of love, integrity and respect” beautiful for you to have experienced Michael, true love integrity and respect from those you have lived with, so that you can now reflect those qualities to all people you come across knowing that all humanity are our family.
Michael what you share here with True family is something that is sorely missing in the world, yet is something that Serge Benhayon has more than inspired is possible through his family.
The sense of love and support and togetherness that is felt from this blog is exactly what makes up true family.
What a template you have shared Michael, for we can all learn so much from what you have shared!
What I love about this great experience of true family you had Michael, is that it feels obvious that the way the Benhayon and Walls family embraced you as total equals will now be carried on to how you hold other people as true family even if they are not biologically related. The funny thing is that it is so easy to simply act the same and love everyone equally, yet we tend to use so much energy to hold onto some ideal or belief that says we should protect and serve our own family first and above everyone else.
Michael, this is gorgeous to re-visit and be reminded of how true family is possible for all to live, with different choices and holding all equally. It is deeply inspiring to read of the ‘knock on effect’ this has had on your life and living with it with true responsibility.
“It is now my absolute responsibility to hold others in the same quality of love, integrity and respect shown and shared with me by the Benhayons and the Walls’, to allow those I meet their own growth and learning”.
Michael what really jumps out at me as you shared about the responsibility of holding others in that same quality, having had these very clear experiences of true family, is the joy that it is in being this way. The joy that is responsibility.
To have experiences as such is a reflection within you know what true family and brotherhood is. Having a similar experience at 12 years of age and travelling overseas to live with many different families, this felt the most natural to me. That family is much larger than just blood, and my parents also have more children than just us by blood, it is amazing.
Love this Michael as it totally deconstructs the paradigm we currently hold about families. Your lived wisdom is evidence of just how natural it is for us to embrace, support and love each other to learn, grow and evolve regardless if we are born into the same blood family or not. For if we open ourselves up to consider more deeply who we are we will see the we are all kin of Soul, as such all connected by love.
This is indeed what true family is, being treated as an equal member in love and being held to the responsibility of that love. What a gorgeous sharing Michael, thank you.