Reconfiguring the Energy of Abuse – all by a Simple Choice

Currently I have been working with a highly qualified and very well renowned Esoteric Practitioner and Physiotherapist Kate Greenaway-Twist on a Connective Tissue Exercise program.

Each month we have an online session where Kate shares different Connective Tissue Exercises to support my body. I have made the choice to commit to do these exercises every day and night, when I wake up and before I go to bed. I have found this to be an incredible support, and also the changes and expansion from these simple movements in my body is immense. Until last night I didn’t realise how much, as I tend to brush aside the grandness of things, thinking it’s no big deal.

Kate asked how this past month had been and I shared what has been going on for me. Lastly came a question about my pelvic floor area, an area I shared the previous month I was completely disconnected from; that I couldn’t, or in truth, didn’t want to feel.

This whole area I actually looked at – and have looked at – with disgust for around 20 years. Why? Because of the level of abuse I have allowed in my body by having sex with people I didn’t want to and when I didn’t want to, purely through a lack of self-worth, a need, and growing up thinking I would find love outside of myself from someone else or in a relationship, rather than inside me, and my relationship with myself.

What I shared with Kate was huge; through the simple choice to connect to my body and move, doing two Connective Pelvic Floor Exercises for a few minutes every day – nothing else – I actually feel absolute love in and for this whole area.

It feels a joy to connect to and feel this part of my body, and to be honest when I look down I now smile; there’s a warmth, a tenderness and a love there that I have never felt before, or at least not for a very long time. I can absolutely say I love this area of my body, it feels precious and I want to take care of it deeply.

To feel this, I didn’t have to go into analysing my past choices, or wallow in my woes, I simply made the choice to connect to this part of my body and move it in a different way, following the Connective Tissue Exercises with a very loving quality, every day.

If I can make a simple choice to change and reconfigure a more than twenty-year-old pattern of abuse in my body, then I can make a choice to change everything that’s not loving or supporting me. It doesn’t have to be a big deal.

I have always heard and known the fact that everything is a choice, but until yesterday I have not felt this so clearly, simply and deeply in my body.

Inspired by the incredible Kate Greenaway-Twist and my pelvic floor.

by Gyl Rae, Teacher, 38, Scotland

Further Reading:
Listening To Your Body
Claiming Back My Body
Self-Care And Learning to Respect My Body

646 thoughts on “Reconfiguring the Energy of Abuse – all by a Simple Choice

  1. My relationship with abuse changes almost on a daily basis. What I once considered ‘good’ can now be described as abusive. And of course, this is always my choice and totally up to what I allow.

  2. One day we will see Connective Tissue Therapy as a recognised medical therapy, and all the revelations that come with it.

  3. This blog says it all, the fact that it’s movements that change everything. A movement doesn’t have to just be with our body, it can be what we eat.

    1. Movements can be our thoughts and expressions, too. When we make a commitment to change one of these, it supports other areas to change, too. It’s easy to get caught in old patterns, but when we recognise them as residue, and not who we truly are, not the core of our being, they start to lose their grip.

  4. Our bodies reveal so much to us, and when we listen we can learn so much about ourselves and how we have lived. With this understanding we can re-imprint our past abusive choices with truly supportive ones.

  5. Its amazing you can have experiences like this over the Internet! Goes to show we do not need to be there in person at all as we are all connected energetically anyway.

  6. We can often give our power away or not want to take responsibility for our choices, by saying or thinking we have no control over how our life can be and is. But truth is, it’s down to every single choice we make, in every moment, ever thought, every food we eat or don’t, how we communicate with people, do we shut them out because of hurts ( that often have nothing to do with them) or do we let them in. All this adds up to how our day and sleep will be, and then the next day and on it goes. We can chose to wallow is our woes and
    have a miserable day or we can choose ourselves and choose not to.

  7. The biggest highlight in this blog for me is the commitment to our own wellbeing.

    Connective Tissue is an amazing therapy however without the commitment to follow through little changes.

  8. It is kinda painful to read about you having sex with people out of a need for love. But I can relate to it, and that is what makes this all the more devastating to read. I love that we can heal ourselves from all these hurts, that we have the power to do so, that we have the will and the conscious choice to do so. And that there are people here in this life who can help and support us to do so.

  9. Interesting how we can reject ourselves and our bodies if we’ve made abusive choices, because this just keeps the abuse going. To be loving, nurturing and replenish the care we deserve is to begin the healing process of knowing that the strongest abuse is the neglect we inflict on ourselves.

    1. Do we abuse ourselves because we have a lack of self worth, and if so where does this lack of self worth come from? Is it something we are born with or do we develop this lack because we are not held in the amazingness we truly are? Isn’t interesting how we can put a value or a sense of worth on jewelry, houses, cars etc. And value and take pride in their worth above our own sense of worth.

  10. It’s interesting as abuse can change from what we feel or felt to be abusive in the first place. For me to not wear my glasses even to write or read one text on my phone is abuse, or speaking when I don’t feel to.If you asked me this years ago I probably would have thought or looked at you like you were crazy. Amazing the levels we go to to avoid the fact we choking abuse and not loving, listen to, holding or honouring ourselves or each other dearly.

  11. I love how Esoteric Healing can be so instant and how it holds no judgement….20 years one way??? open to healing and getting to the truth/core of the matter??? OK…let’s heal and with the commitment, energetic quality and integrity and openness, true healing can begin. It is the magic of God.

  12. Re configuring the energetic patterns in our body by the type of exercises you describe in this blog is so much simpler, cheaper and more effective then years of counselling.

  13. This is so inspiring Gyl and a great sharing as in it’s showing us how we can bring our body alive by tuning in and connecting to it. This sounds weird I know but the sad truth is most of us are only half there because we are in our heads and totally disconnected to the rest of our body

  14. So cool, reconnection is only a choice away if we allow ourselves to let go, be honest and truly appreciate who we are.

    1. Summed up beautifully Benkt! Everything comes back to what we choose, we can choose love or we can choose everything that is not love. And how we treat our bodies reflects what we are choosing, for example we have a daily routine of self-care and self-nurture in place which constantly refines or the opposite, we neglect and abuse our bodies. And we are all equal in ‘free-will’ of what we are choosing.

  15. Great timing to read this again, I just finished up an session of stretches and connective tissue exercises and came to the same conclusion about issues, that “It doesn’t have to be a big deal.” Just choosing to be with the body in a more loving way, with the specific connective tissue based exercises, brings forth both the clearing of the old non supportive ways, and the new level of healing and love that is there for us in how we relate to ourselves, and in how we can live.

  16. Gyl, your blog got me feeling how when we haven’t lived lovingly with ourselves we avoid feeling any love for our bodies, so to avoid having to feel how far from love we have been from it. It’s like an illusionary wall that we must break through in order to bring the love and healing our bodies needs.

  17. What stands out from reading this blog is the fact that we have these negative relationships with parts of our bodies and in order to not feel we ignore that part, and for most women and men we just accept that this is how it is and give no further investigation. So what you have written here Gyl is huge and so simple – who would have thought that a simple Connective Tissue exercise could change the relationship with your pelvis and then have you move in a more self loving and supportive way.

  18. It’s awesome when we can feel a choice being so tangible in the body -rather than hearing it as a mental knowledge. It’s then that I get I really do have a choice!

  19. ‘If I can make a simple choice to change and reconfigure a more than twenty-year-old pattern of abuse in my body, then I can make a choice to change everything that’s not loving or supporting me. It doesn’t have to be a big deal.’ – Thank you for sharing this Gyl – it puts things into perspective and also shows that at each moment we have the simple choice to say yes or no to love. I really appreciate you sharing how you have broken a cycle of abuse that you now know is no longer a part of your body. It shows that we always have an opportunity to let go of things.

  20. We only make things a big deal when we get stuck in our head. . . reconnect to the body and it is a whole different story, in fact there is not longer a story. It is the story that holds our stuck in time and old patterns.

  21. it is one thing to recognise patterns of abuse and self-abuse, but even more powerful is to be able to unlock the configurations we hold in our bodies with tools such as the connective tissue exercises that help us to bring even greater awareness to what we are holding and what is influencing us in every moment. it is this deeper awareness that allows us the true freedom of choice.

  22. Hi Gyl ,
    Thanks for your sharing and honestly about the importance of connecting to all areas of our bodies and then ,shining the light and love to to parts through conscious connective tissue exercise. These simple exercises of feeling ,connecting and activating muscle /tissues are very healing and help us to integrate the whole body as part of the whole naturally .Having a great loving relationship with our bodies and all there parts is so important .

  23. Wow you really have to love the power of our movements in each and every subtle moment and how one little choice to change any movement can reconfigure our bodies in oh so amazing ways. Thank you Gyl.

  24. It is incredible when we do something simple and daily that is supportive for us as you have done, without realising it, the healing affect it has is in fact huge.

  25. Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy offers us the opportunity to feel the flow and movement inside our body and deepen our connection to every particle of who we are.

  26. Inspiring to witness another making a choice to truly let go of an old unhealthy pattern, and to watch them blossom as a result.

  27. Kate is an absolute gem whose care of her clients is deep and profound… After my last round of operations my orthopaedic surgeon asked who my physiotherapist was, as my recovery was literally the best he had ever seen. When I told him it was Kate, and that she actually does much more than physiotherapy, he was very impressed and said he would have to start sending patients to her.

  28. It’s saddening to feel how much we choose to abuse our bodies. Purely through not wanting to take responsibility for loving ourselves.

  29. The error of our ways seem to be that we give far more focus to what is supposedly wrong with us, rather than focussing, appreciating and confirming what is right about us. That is to say, we give more voice to what is not true – the loveless momentums we get caught up in – and then begin to not only focus on these but allow the thoughts and behaviours that comprise such momentums to shape who we are and guide us on an ill course through life. This is how we have come to lose sight of what is true. Truth is not something that ever goes away but simply gets buried beneath many layers of a false way to be that we impose on ourselves by not living true to who we are.

  30. Being committed to these exercises has clearly made such a difference in your life, it just illustrates the changes that can be made when one puts in time, love, dedication and commitment for oneself, amazing things can occur.

  31. Awesome to read how you went from numbness and feeling disgust for yourself to being more aware of your precious body. Rejecting parts of body can only lead to stress and illness.

  32. ‘I didn’t have to go into analysing my past choices’ – this is a huge one! How many of us think or have thought we have to spend years in our head analysing all the unloving choices we made, to go over them with a fine tooth comb – when really this is just keeping us from our sacredness. Many people make huge money out of this, think of therapist who love indulging in a persons issues – or a person themselves – this can go on for years. With nothing being healed, simply just going round and round in circles adding layers instead of clearing them.

  33. I still often get caught up in my head, in complication of trying to work out how to sort an issue out or how I feel – when really it’s all very simple – i just come back to my body.

  34. I can vouch for these exercises too as I have been practicing them for sometime now, they seem so simple and they are, but they have a profound affect on your body. I would highly recommend a session with Kate to support you to re-connect with areas of your body which you have previously not been aware of.

  35. Wow, Gyl this is amazing! I have taken up Connect Tissue Exercises as well, and this feels like the potential that lays ahead. If you could “do” this with one numb part in your body, what else is possible? And I do have a couple of numb areas where love should rule once more.

  36. Great that you didn’t make it a big deal, just saw it as a choice you made, resulting in the huge change this brought for you after 20 years. This really shows the power of our choices. Thank you Gyl.

  37. Hi Gyl, you also show us the power of consistency – these exercises indeed are amazing, but that you have do them on a consistent basis. I had done also a session with Kate Greenaway, and had started doing ‘my’ exercises but only a couple of times a week, certainly not every single day. The next session I wanted to have more exercises to get more “benefit” and see results. Kate than told me: “It seems that you value your activities more that your being”. That hit me. How much time do they cost? A couple of minutes each day. Since then I have been doing my exercises at least twice a day, which sees I am so much more in my body, which is the best feeling one could desire.

  38. so great to read this Gyl, because it goes beyond the kind of abuse you speak of to encompass every form of recklessness, neglect, and disregard we visit upon our own bodies. This affects everything we can then live and express, as it comes from a body that has borne the brunt and damage of the harshness of our living. what if we were to truly embrace, appreciate and confirm our bodies through every movement and expression, and bring back to it the experience of love that is so natural to us as a young child. This cannot but affect our thoughts and quality of living, and how we interact with, see and understand the world every day.

  39. I love the absolute transformational power of just 2 Connective Tissue techniques in reconnecting you to this area and allowing you to love and appreciate the preciousness within. Definitely nothing short of deeply inspirational.

  40. Gyl this is a beautiful sharing on the power of Connective Tissue Therapy and through the connection to your body you were able to heal the energy of abuse from previous choices – no need to go into the details or the story just simple nominating this and changing our movements to be more loving allows the body to truly heal.

  41. Connective tissue exercises are a very powerful thing to add to your tool kit. I love them and they are excellent at connecting me more deeply to my body. I do them around once a day but can feel that I could easily benefit from increasing this.

  42. I start my day ( still in bed) with some connective tissue exercises which supports my body to slowly awaken.
    These gentle exercises support me to feel my body from the inside, and often afterwards, I take a few moments just being with myself and feeling how light and delicate I am feeling. Great way to start my day with me in my body!

  43. Reading this blog helped me to understand that everything is a choice and that every choice ever made not from love can be changed by making another more loving choice and that is to not hold on to that what we even have done ‘wrong’ but to allow ourselves to feel from where we made this choice and leave it by that, not going into any self loathing or whatsoever. As our present life is a result of all our past choices, being aware of the choices we make in every moment of the day is so important. Ast he more aware we are of these, the more we can understand the current situations we are in and appreciate life for what it bring to us, a contant offering to enjoy life in full.

  44. Amazing how we can tolerate feeling disgusted about a certain part of our body for many years, and that as a society we allow others to go on living this way. Perhaps learning to support each other is the key to a truly successful society…

  45. Gyl, I had a similar experience growing up, ‘growing up thinking I would find love outside of myself from someone else or in a relationship, rather than inside me, and my relationship with myself.’ This never worked and in relationships I would feel lonely and in self doubt, in the last few years I have been building a relationship with myself and now love myself which feels very steady and solid and I know that this love will always be there if I choose to connect with it.

  46. So awesome to read this again Gyl, I am inspired to bring back a couple of exercises to my daily routine.

  47. Such a gorgeous reminder of the healing we can claim when we connect with our bodies with deep tenderness and care. The Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is a heavenly sent modality to help re-awaken us to the heaven that resides within our very own physical bodies.

  48. After being introduced to the Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy I have become more aware of my body and like you Gyl, when I do now connect to my body I feel a warmth and tenderness that I did not ever felt before. This connection with my body that is now very precious to me as it does make me to register any moment I hurt or abuse my body during the day and with that deepening this connection on a daily basis.

  49. It is one thing to know something as in it being knowledge and a completely other by having this sense of knowing vibrating in one’s body, as if allowing the particles to be felt. Moving in and with this changes everything.

  50. Life offers lots of opportunities and not all of them are loving and because we have not been encouraged to see how precious we are from the inside first and constantly being played off against society’s expectations much of who we are is overlooked and undervalued. I know growing up there was no sharing about the more intimate parts of my body or becoming a woman and what that meant. Much of my attention was about what I could do and how well liked I was. This was an open ended invitation for abuse. The body is a whole and without even one small working part every part does not flow with the loving intent it was designed for. Opening to this understanding of how I care for and lovingly hold myself as a woman has changed. What has been shared here feels so common and widespread for women, opening this for discussion is important.

  51. This is so refreshing Gyl. You are right – it really doesn’t have to be a big deal. Change and healing can come through simply choosing to move differently. Beautiful.

  52. It is amazing the level of abuse we are willing to put up with when we are seeking love from outside of us, and expecting others to full fill our needs – this simply does not work.

  53. I have been feeling a coldness around my pelvic floor and your blog is really inspiring to not go and avoid being aware of this area but being aware of it and feeling it can change and feel lovely and warm and lovely.

  54. Just moving our body differently, so much can change, it really can be that simple. I start every morning with some gentle connective tissue exercises that support me for the day ahead.

  55. Our body is great at showing us that every choice and action has an impact regardless of what we choose to believe, and also wonderful reminder that it is never too late to re-introduce a loving pattern to our life.

  56. Wow Gyl, this is so deeply inspiring as I know for me, I did exactly the same. Engaged in sex with men when I was younger to seek love and attention outside of myself, wanting attention but never getting anything or feeling that I was worthy of anything but what i was getting. This i know is stored in my body and I resist going deeper in feeling my body, especially in the pelvic floor area. Loved what you have shared and look forward to exploring this more for myself.

  57. Such a great example of how powerful we truly are in that we can reconfigure patterns of abuse that has owned us for 20 years in any given moment. Through our willingness to be honest the truth will set us free. Our willingness to know the truth is a choice, to be the love we are and no less. And this choice is what allows the truth of who we are to come to life in an instant and reclaim our true way of being – that is for me is awe-inspiring.

  58. The more loving I choose to be the definition of abuse changes. I can see how I’ve held back claiming what I feel is abusive because others do not see these actions as abusive and that I am ‘too sensitive’ or ‘overly critical’ but taking that stance doesn’t make the tension go away, only accepting what I feel and changing my choices releases that tension.

  59. This is amazing and it shows it does not take much to bring love to the body or .. reconnect to the innate love within the body and change the relationship we have with ourselves ‘through the simple choice to connect to my body and move, doing two Connective Pelvic Floor Exercises for a few minutes every day – nothing else – I actually feel absolute love in and for this whole area.’

  60. ” It doesn’t have to be a big deal.” This one sentence says it all. Sometimes it’s not the initial abuse that gets us but the choice to beat ourselves up or wallow in guilt over the ‘mistakes’ we have made. If we are willing to feel the impact of our past choices in full we can leave them behind and live the gorgeousness we are.

  61. I’ve been introduced to similar by Kate and it was equally a revelation for me too – and a beautiful opportunity to change my formerly abusive movements to something far more honouring of this delicate area of my body, and of me as a woman. It makes me wonder at the lengths our cultures worldwide, in their various ways, go about keeping women separate from their most intimate selves – be it via overtly damaging practices such as female genital mutilation, or encouraging identification with what one does rather than who one is.

  62. No indeed Gyl it doesn’t need to be a big deal. How very inspiring to read your story of making a simple choice to heal the energy of abuse through simple connective tissue exercises. A gorgeous blog to read, thank you.

  63. This is huge Gyl – you show us the power of choice, change and that we can basically change anything in our lives even if it the biggest struggle or past , hurt or issue, we can heal it. By our own choice. Thank you for sharing – this is Huge. What an awareness of choice this brings. We can by our true Will to let go.

  64. How often do we assume something is fixed without taking into consideration all the choices we can make to change it?

  65. Firstly, thank you Gyl for writing this
    Secondly, what is shown is that we are vehicles (bodies) that are designed to emanate love. Hence, when we disconnect and ask it to act without it – this is where the problems will rise – the body will not be able to stay and work in harmony, as without love, it is like removing the heart, it loses its nature (its designed movement). Very simple.
    And so,
    When we align to something else than love (evil, lovelessness) this is allowing absolute abuse. Abuse to our body. Abuse to us.
    When we have lived in such way for many many years or whole life(s), it is simply and stands out that we need to undo it by being love choosing love again.

  66. There is a great alchemy that happens through simplicity as there is a great retarding that happens through its counter – the complexity we drown ourselves in to not live the love that we are.

  67. Are’nt our bodies amazing…! After literally decades of abuse our bodies will respond to the simplest of things and help us to feel again who we truly are

  68. We look around, high and low for the ‘answers’in life, conduct years of advanced testing and research, but all the time never seem to consider that the root cause may live in the way we move. So simple, so beautiful and with no limit to the depth we can feel – these exercises and approach you describe Gyl inspire me, to bring the same awareness to the way I am with me.

  69. This is great what you share, we can change everything that is not not loving. “If I can make a simple choice to change and reconfigure a more than twenty-year-old pattern of abuse in my body, then I can make a choice to change everything that’s not loving or supporting me. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. “

  70. Gyl, I love the honestly that you brought to your pelvic floor area and how you let yourself be aware of the abuse you have allowed in that region. This really is where true healing occurs. The body responds so well to us being honest and truthful.

  71. That’s amazing Gyl! I love the statement that we don’t actually have to dwell on past choices or events, we can simply make a choice to move differently and connect to our bodies to re-imprint old patterns. No drama necessary.

  72. This is awesome Gyl, what I could feel is that if we let go of any judgement and abuse that we give to ourselves from past choices we allow love to flow and reconfiguring happens.

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