Reconfiguring the Energy of Abuse – all by a Simple Choice

Currently I have been working with a highly qualified and very well renowned Esoteric Practitioner and Physiotherapist Kate Greenaway-Twist on a Connective Tissue Exercise program.

Each month we have an online session where Kate shares different Connective Tissue Exercises to support my body. I have made the choice to commit to do these exercises every day and night, when I wake up and before I go to bed. I have found this to be an incredible support, and also the changes and expansion from these simple movements in my body is immense. Until last night I didn’t realise how much, as I tend to brush aside the grandness of things, thinking it’s no big deal.

Kate asked how this past month had been and I shared what has been going on for me. Lastly came a question about my pelvic floor area, an area I shared the previous month I was completely disconnected from; that I couldn’t, or in truth, didn’t want to feel.

This whole area I actually looked at – and have looked at – with disgust for around 20 years. Why? Because of the level of abuse I have allowed in my body by having sex with people I didn’t want to and when I didn’t want to, purely through a lack of self-worth, a need, and growing up thinking I would find love outside of myself from someone else or in a relationship, rather than inside me, and my relationship with myself.

What I shared with Kate was huge; through the simple choice to connect to my body and move, doing two Connective Pelvic Floor Exercises for a few minutes every day – nothing else – I actually feel absolute love in and for this whole area.

It feels a joy to connect to and feel this part of my body, and to be honest when I look down I now smile; there’s a warmth, a tenderness and a love there that I have never felt before, or at least not for a very long time. I can absolutely say I love this area of my body, it feels precious and I want to take care of it deeply.

To feel this, I didn’t have to go into analysing my past choices, or wallow in my woes, I simply made the choice to connect to this part of my body and move it in a different way, following the Connective Tissue Exercises with a very loving quality, every day.

If I can make a simple choice to change and reconfigure a more than twenty-year-old pattern of abuse in my body, then I can make a choice to change everything that’s not loving or supporting me. It doesn’t have to be a big deal.

I have always heard and known the fact that everything is a choice, but until yesterday I have not felt this so clearly, simply and deeply in my body.

Inspired by the incredible Kate Greenaway-Twist and my pelvic floor.

by Gyl Rae, Teacher, 38, Scotland

Further Reading:
Listening To Your Body
Claiming Back My Body
Self-Care And Learning to Respect My Body

806 thoughts on “Reconfiguring the Energy of Abuse – all by a Simple Choice

  1. The power of working with our connective tissue never ceases to amaze me. A completely neglected part of us so far as medical science appears to be concerned, yet one through which amazing transformation is possible for many types of conditions.

  2. … ‘growing up thinking I would find love outside of myself from someone else or in a relationship, rather than inside me, and my relationship with myself.’ I have probably commented on this before but it still shines out because it’s something I’ve lived in all my relationships and am still uncovering more layers of seeking love through others.

    I have tried to fulfill what other people have needed me to be in exchange for gratitude, company even. I felt such an emptiness growing up I remember consciously working out how to make it so I had friends. It wasn’t all false because I cared about people and couldn’t drop standards towards them- though I shied away from saying something that needed to be said for fear of offending the person and losing the friendship.I have a multitude of examples revolving around me being the perfect solution to someone’s needs at the expense of feeling my needs and hurts, Physically it’s unsustainable to live this way. As I am appreciating my qualities I am able to say when there is something I cannot do for someone, and able to be ok if people aren’t interested in me because I am no longer useful to them in the way that they want me to be.

  3. Connective tissue is a greatly ignored part of the human body, written off almost as relatively unimportant compared to the bits it connects. No part is more important than any other but we are still to appreciate this fact. Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is a wondrous modality that has realised several miracles just for my body.

  4. The vast majority of us have become disconnected to the grandness of life and instead have reduced life to a tick box exercise, our heads are down and we just seem to plough through the day and reward ourselves with chocolate or alcohol or both for making it to the end and then we start all over again the next day. Just writing this I can feel the utter futility of our lives the lie we are living and yet we make it everything.

  5. The body is quite simply magic… yes we can shut it down, ignore it, abuse it. However, its always there trying to communicate and just a little bit of attention and it comes alive again with a rich background of data, feelings, information about the way we are living. It just requires us to listen and to love.

  6. Absolutely brilliant, so glad I read this it is the simplicity I love and the power of committing to one supportive thing for the body. Amazing.

  7. Your comment about it not having to be a big deal is spot on and exposes how much we are addicted to making things a big deal. I know I can, and when I choose not to, it feels so much lighter in my body.

    1. Absolutely! There are whole industries devoted to issues and how to fix them by talking more and more about the issue, understanding is great but what is shown here is the deepth of healing that can occur by focusing on loving acts to the body.

  8. Often I feel tension in my pelvic floor muscles but I love what you share and I noticed how just feeling the area whilst reading this blog changed the area completely, Letting go of the tension in the muscles can actually be very easy, just a constant commitment and choice.

    1. I know and it is true for me, I would say the only way to change how I feel about myself is to change my movements.

      1. Yeh even in the smallest movement, from slouching to sitting up straight or being more delicate with our hands – all these movements count and add up to the summation of how we feel at the end of the day.

      2. I catch myself thinking at times it is not ‘enough’ and it ‘won’t work’ or ‘can’t be that simple’ but these things you describe do work and moving delicately is a great way to do this.

  9. “If I can make a simple choice to change and reconfigure a more than twenty-year-old pattern of abuse in my body, then I can make a choice to change everything that’s not loving or supporting me. It doesn’t have to be a big deal.’ Yes so true and how inspiring to hear it is always possible for healing.

  10. “there’s a warmth, a tenderness and a love there that I have never felt before,” Connecting and feeling the delicate tissues of our body is to appreciate how precious we are.

  11. From my own experience of Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy it gives you an opportunity to reconnect to your body to feel and realign areas that we have for whatever reason lost connection with. ECTT is a modality that not only helps you reestablish that connection but also makes you feel more vital too.

  12. Not only a beautiful testimony to Kate Greenaway and Connective Tissue Therapy but also, what bounced out for me, was the word ‘precious’ – to transform our relationship with our body (any part) from abuse, disregard and disgust to being able to use the word ‘precious’ is properly remarkable.

  13. The Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy is a deeply healing and powerful modality, I felt my hips adjust in a session once and it made such a difference, it was like my body had a complete grease and oil change.

  14. Gyl when we come to this realization, this understanding that you share “I have always heard and known the fact that everything is a choice, but until yesterday I have not felt this so clearly, simply and deeply in my body.” It is an incredibly liberating feeling, like we go from feeling we are the victim of life, like its not our fault to understanding and appreciating the power we actually do have.

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