Our Past Catches Up With Us, Eventually

Recently a young woman spoke to me about her need to go for a walk to get back to herself after a big night out on the weekend, getting home at 3am. I was also planning to walk my sixty-eight year-old body, with the intention to enjoy myself on a pristine beach, feeling lovely.

Her situation reminded me of times past when, as a young woman, I went out to get drunk or escape from the stress I was feeling, or sometimes to party for the sake of it. As I age, I am made so aware of how I lived my younger life and how my body now carries all that I have lived, and how I have lived – the drive, the anxiousness, the overworked body.

As we age, there is nowhere to hide. Our faces and our bodies are the indicators of how we have lived, what we have eaten, what our thought patterns and emotional patterns have been, and how we have treated our bodies. Even having been amazingly fit and strong as a young person, you can still end up diabetic, arthritic or ill in your elder years.

I have come to realise that it’s not about how much hard exercise you are doing, or how pious you may be, or how charitable, or about any of the ideals and beliefs we may carry around being ‘good’. None of them have worked to bring true joy, vitality and harmony to our inner being.

Letting Go

In our elder years there is a lot of letting go – letting go of employment or a business, a home which is too big, sports that you no longer have the strength to play, children who leave home to make their way in the world. Gardening and chores have to be managed according to one’s strength; we may have to let go of hearing and good eyesight, mobility and stamina.

These are the obvious examples of letting go as we move into our elder years. Does it have to be this way? Have we been living with beliefs that are restricting us as we age?

Thanks to the presentations of Serge Benhayon and the modalities of Universal Medicine I am experiencing first hand the healing and liberation from old patterns of thought and behaviour. For example, we can choose to keep working and being of service in many capacities, as volunteers in our communities, as teachers, writers, carers and whatever ways we are able to connect with people to bring our authority, love and understanding. When we honour our experience and worthiness there is much vitality and purpose to bring to others in our lives.

There is another aspect of ageing to be considered – our psychological health. For example, I have found it challenging and rewarding to face and feel and examine my emotions, the jealousy of another, the bitterness and frustration, regrets, the anxiousness about my future – do I discard these or hang onto them? Do I blame God for my misadventures or suffering?

It is so easy and so irresponsible to look around for someone or a situation to blame for one’s stress or suffering. As a young woman I did not have a great awareness about my own responsibility for my health and wellbeing. I did not fully understand how my emotions impacted on every aspect of my health – psychological, emotional, physiological and mental. I now appreciate how taking responsibility for healing from old emotional patterns is life changing.

It seems to me that in our early years we are preparing for our elder years, and in our elder years we are preparing for death and our next life. And I have found that the best way to prepare for the future is to live each day, each moment, gently, with awareness and openness. Being able to observe life and not absorb everything around me, from the news on TV or the difficulties that others are experiencing, enables me to be compassionate and understanding, without having to have solutions. Letting go of being a problem solver, or feeling responsible for others’ choices, allows for me spaciousness and simplicity, and my body thanks me with more contentment and appreciation.

In fact, listening to my body is one of the very best things that I can do to keep me steady. When I allow my body to communicate, it has such simple wisdom, and it knows what to do in any situation. Learning to love myself has been a great lesson; it’s like enrolling in the school of the future, and the beauty is that we never stop evolving.

Appreciation

As I walked my light steps along the beach, I observed the playfulness of dogs – they love to play together. I felt the cool crisp air on my cheeks, and walked at the shoreline with waves and sparkling water. I appreciated this moment of joy, feeling a part of everything around me, the space and light, and activity. What I felt was that it is all about how we live with ourselves, how respectful we are of our movements and how we love and appreciate ourselves and others and everything.

Every moment is a gift from heaven. How do we choose to live it?

We can choose to stay addicted to our old patterns, holding onto the past like it is a familiar friend, or we can live our future now, returning to who we are.

Whatever choice we make, our past will catch up with us, eventually.

By Bernadette Curtin, artist, art tutor, Byron Bay, Australia

Further Reading:
The Joy of Ageing, Esoterically
Dementia–Is It Truly a Mystery?
Being An Elder Role Model

777 thoughts on “Our Past Catches Up With Us, Eventually

  1. ‘ And I have found that the best way to prepare for the future is to live each day, each moment, gently, with awareness and openness.’ – Well expressed. We certainly can let the future run away with us, but then we miss out on life. Being present and in our bodies is so healing and powerful.

  2. It is true the way we have lived our life does show up through our bodies and what also can be felt is the level of giving up, misery and regret we have held onto throughout our lives. But what if this did not have to be the picture of old age that is currently the trend, what if there could be a vitality, commitment to life until the end and feeling joyful for waking for being you. I know this to be possible when we discard all of the ideals and beliefs that we have lived with over the years, which highlight how far away from our true selves we have been living.

  3. “Every moment is a gift from heaven”. This is quite a statement to ponder on, especially after a difficult time or moment. I can be hard to imagine this and only assume that the “good moments” are the ones delivered by God. I guess too this is why we constantly ask God “why is this happening, I don’t deserve this” when we face challenges. Deserving is not what our challenging moments are about though, they are about helping us to see more of who we are and essentially what we are made of. To bring out more of who we are, not matter what the situation is. As a friend said to me recently…Its all learning. Sometimes the learning is difficult though because it helps us see what we have not wanted to look at.

    1. What you have noted here is super relevant to consider Jennifer, as the difficult or challenging moments are always offering an opportunity to respond not react, and as you say ‘To bring out more of who we are,’
      thank you.

  4. Yes, observing life and not absorbing everything is a really important , it is like swimming in the sea and not getting wet, as we live in a sea of energy, ‘Being able to observe life and not absorb everything around me, from the news on TV or the difficulties that others are experiencing, enables me to be compassionate and understanding, without having to have solutions.’

  5. “Does it have to be this way? Have we been living with beliefs that are restricting us as we age?” I know that the people I meet at the Universal Medicine events who are in their ‘old age’ are re-writing the history books. We still have to respect the fact that our bodies grow older and consequently care for them accordingly, but the vitality and vivaciousness for life can continue to deepen. These people are living examples who show us that many of our ill conditions are not due to aging and are not the norm.

  6. What you offer here Bernadette brings a completely different quality and purpose to how we live our life than what we have accepted life to be.

  7. “In fact, listening to my body is one of the very best things that I can do to keep me steady. When I allow my body to communicate, it has such simple wisdom, and it knows what to do in any situation.” – We often don’t appreciate the innate wisdom that we have access to in connection with our whole body, perhaps believing instead that it has to be something we think up in our mind alone…

  8. This is great awareness to have, and is much needed awareness with the rates of illness and disease escalating at the levels they are, ‘I did not fully understand how my emotions impacted on every aspect of my health – psychological, emotional, physiological and mental. I now appreciate how taking responsibility for healing from old emotional patterns is life changing.’

  9. “Every moment is a gift from heaven. How do we choose to live it?” indeed its up to us and for that having the guidance and inspiration of truth is so deeply needed.

  10. I am in my sixties too and actually have a wealth of experience to offer yet often dismiss this. This does not serve anyone and does not allow the life/light in me to shine at it’s fullest. ‘When we honour our experience and worthiness there is much vitality and purpose to bring to others in our lives’ This is so true..

  11. “Letting go of being a problem solver, or feeling responsible for others’ choices, allows for me spaciousness and simplicity, and my body thanks me with more contentment and appreciation.” Doesn’t it just! There’s an ease and settlement in the body that comes with letting go of trying to fix anything.

  12. This is gorgeous ‘I was also planning to walk my sixty-eight year-old body, with the intention to enjoy myself on a pristine beach, feeling lovely.’ in just feeling how much you love and have accepted yourself and your body. I can feel how much you have embraced you. Very cool and super inspiring.

  13. ‘Learning to love myself has been a great lesson; it’s like enrolling in the school of the future, and the beauty is that we never stop evolving.’ No it never stops, we are forever Students of the Livingness, being part of the school of the future.

  14. When I was in my teens and 20s I allowed myself to be so consumed by issues and tension I felt that I really didn’t consider how that would affect me later in life. Now that I’m in my 40s, all those little things that I didn’t focus on and didn’t care about have definitely caught up with me, it’s very humbling actually.

  15. Accepting the ageing process does not have be one of giving up – indeed it can be a deeply beautiful, joyful and evolving experience as we commit life and its natural cycles.

  16. “And I have found that the best way to prepare for the future is to live each day, each moment, gently, with awareness and openness.” A lovely expression of life lived moment to moment and the opportunity to continue to deepen our awareness of life and the way in which we move within it. Thank you Bernadette.

  17. If I had known what I know now I would never have have been that reckless but now that I do know the responsibility just gets greater. I am really tired of seeing the slogan ‘one life so live it’ because no one has only one life and if we all knew this we would use each life to prepare ourselves for the next.

  18. Maybe there is many blessings being in an ageing body. For one as your title suggested – Everything does catch up with us eventually. Because of that ageing is something that we often dread as our bodies become much louder in their honesty. This offers us the opportunity, not an inevitability.

  19. When we take one step at a time and do not invest in how we think our future should look we allow it to unfold and we are supported to be exactly were we need to be and to do exactly what we need to do

  20. It is a great thing that our body is so honest. If it wasn’t we would be in a far worse situation than we are now with our overall health.

  21. “Every moment is a gift from heaven. How do we choose to live it?” When we see life like this we can’t but live moment by moment instead of looking forward to the next thing or looking back and desiring to be younger.

  22. Thank you Bernadette, learning to let go of being a problem solver and “to be compassionate and understanding, without having to have solutions” is something that still comes up for me. This pattern is what I took on many years ago to cope with not living with my essence. My return to soul is one of letting go of everything false taken on to cover up that which was already beautiful and complete.

  23. I loved coming back to read your blog Bernadette I can feel how you have through your observations brought a greater awareness into your life. There is much that you share that I have become aware of too and it is true as we move into our elder years our body shows us how we have been living. If we could really grasp this and understand what this meant when we are younger I wonder if we would neglect our body quite so much as we do.

  24. I very much feel this is where I am now in my life. In the future there may be decisions of where I want to live and do but what I know is that by listening to my inner voice I will easily make these decisions !

  25. We have been fed with lies (ideals, beliefs, images) all attaining that we have to learn who we are, instead of reminding us of what we truly know. Simply all lies are revealed by connecting to our truth, the knowing that we are eternal, energetic beings and that we are love from origin, nothing else.Hence our agening proces is only a physical experience and always comes second , as we are energetic beings first. We can not judge, only observe our ways and grow from there.. We know everything already.

  26. At the age of 68 I too have become so aware of the way I lived my life for so long and the impact the choices I made have had on my body, with many of these choices being very disregarding ones. And like you “my body now carries all that I have lived, and how I have lived”. It surely does and I am reminded of this every day but I have also learned that it is never too late to begin to make different choices to live a in different and a much more loving way.

  27. These words have stood out and touched me deeply today ‘… it is all about how we live with ourselves, how respectful we are of our movements and how we love and appreciate ourselves…’ and in doing so we bring all of us to the world.

  28. Love what you’ve shared here Bernadette about preparing for the future by taking care of how we are in the present moment. If I’m with myself, observing what I’m doing instead of lost in my head, open, present and vital, then that is the foundation I’ve set for whatever comes next. Letting go of our need to try to nail life, to have it all sorted, and to allow life to flow to us, knowing that it’s really only our quality of being that we have any dominion over.. all of this starts to slowly happen when we accept ourselves more and connect to what we feel in our bodies.

  29. “Learning to love myself has been a great lesson; it’s like enrolling in the school of the future, and the beauty is that we never stop evolving.”
    I love this statement for it speaks of what I feel. Loving myself and appreciating the qualities that I innately am in how I live each day opens my awareness up to feel the pull of the future. This is not the ideal of where I will live, or what work I will be doing, but the quality of Livingness that I will again be living.

  30. “We can choose to stay addicted to our old patterns, holding onto the past like it is a familiar friend, or we can live our future now, returning to who we are.”
    The beauty is that we always have choice, something we innately know within. Our choice to evolve and bring more grace and presence to how we move in our lives is one that can always be made, no matter the circumstances, as our body is our vehicle and how we use it to express is up to us.

  31. It may feel unfamiliar to move our bodies gently, to again feel the potential of the grace we are. But moved enough, choosing to be gentle over and over again, our body begins to know this way as it’s normal and in time it will feel unfamiliar when we move abruptly or without care.

  32. Beautiful Bernadette, the way you explain this it’s so clear to me that we have life upside down. Fancy being born in so wise and full of Love, or aging to prepare to be born again. There is no age that is important to dwell on just appreciation for our divinity – it’s ageless.

  33. We certainly do set up our elder years by how we live as a younger person and in our elder years we setup our passover and our next life. We start to realise this as we age. It would be great to have this humbleness and insight when we are younger. If we grew up being supported to respect our bodies from young we may not need hindsight.

  34. This is beautiful to read Bernadette, there is a flow in life and there is no reason to step on the brake or the need to think where to go next, it is the surrendering that is the key and I can feel it in your words.

  35. “When we honour our experience and worthiness there is much vitality and purpose to bring to others in our lives.” I love these powerful words of wisdom.

  36. “It is so easy and so irresponsible to look around for someone or a situation to blame for one’s stress or suffering.” Yet we do this time and time again to avoid our true power and the responsibility that comes with it.

  37. It is awesome if we learn what you have regarding loving ourselves and letting go when we are younger as this would mean we would have lived more of a quality and brought more of a quality to all those around us.

  38. I love this sentence: “Every moment is a gift from heaven. How do we choose to live it?” Who knows how many moments we waste, we delay, we are disrespectful, when every moment holds unlimited potential.

  39. It is great to return to this blog and bathe in all the wisdom that is on offer. I especially love this: “Learning to love myself has been a great lesson; it’s like enrolling in the school of the future, and the beauty is that we never stop evolving”.

  40. ‘As we age, there is nowhere to hide. Our faces and our bodies are the indicators of how we have lived, what we have eaten, what our thought patterns and emotional patterns have been, and how we have treated our bodies’. And we do it all to ourselves – there is no-one to blame for what we have chosen! But it is never too late to begin to clear and heal our bodies.

  41. Bernadette this is such a wonderful and enjoyable post, and this line here : “As we age, there is nowhere to hide. Our faces and our bodies are the indicators of how we have lived, what we have eaten, what our thought patterns and emotional patterns have been, and how we have treated our bodies” – makes me think of how much we are like a ‘walking CV’ – with everything about us being written and known by those that read it.

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