Our Past Catches Up With Us, Eventually

Recently a young woman spoke to me about her need to go for a walk to get back to herself after a big night out on the weekend, getting home at 3am. I was also planning to walk my sixty-eight year-old body, with the intention to enjoy myself on a pristine beach, feeling lovely.

Her situation reminded me of times past when, as a young woman, I went out to get drunk or escape from the stress I was feeling, or sometimes to party for the sake of it. As I age, I am made so aware of how I lived my younger life and how my body now carries all that I have lived, and how I have lived – the drive, the anxiousness, the overworked body.

As we age, there is nowhere to hide. Our faces and our bodies are the indicators of how we have lived, what we have eaten, what our thought patterns and emotional patterns have been, and how we have treated our bodies. Even having been amazingly fit and strong as a young person, you can still end up diabetic, arthritic or ill in your elder years.

I have come to realise that it’s not about how much hard exercise you are doing, or how pious you may be, or how charitable, or about any of the ideals and beliefs we may carry around being ‘good’. None of them have worked to bring true joy, vitality and harmony to our inner being.

Letting Go

In our elder years there is a lot of letting go – letting go of employment or a business, a home which is too big, sports that you no longer have the strength to play, children who leave home to make their way in the world. Gardening and chores have to be managed according to one’s strength; we may have to let go of hearing and good eyesight, mobility and stamina.

These are the obvious examples of letting go as we move into our elder years. Does it have to be this way? Have we been living with beliefs that are restricting us as we age?

Thanks to the presentations of Serge Benhayon and the modalities of Universal Medicine I am experiencing first hand the healing and liberation from old patterns of thought and behaviour. For example, we can choose to keep working and being of service in many capacities, as volunteers in our communities, as teachers, writers, carers and whatever ways we are able to connect with people to bring our authority, love and understanding. When we honour our experience and worthiness there is much vitality and purpose to bring to others in our lives.

There is another aspect of ageing to be considered – our psychological health. For example, I have found it challenging and rewarding to face and feel and examine my emotions, the jealousy of another, the bitterness and frustration, regrets, the anxiousness about my future – do I discard these or hang onto them? Do I blame God for my misadventures or suffering?

It is so easy and so irresponsible to look around for someone or a situation to blame for one’s stress or suffering. As a young woman I did not have a great awareness about my own responsibility for my health and wellbeing. I did not fully understand how my emotions impacted on every aspect of my health – psychological, emotional, physiological and mental. I now appreciate how taking responsibility for healing from old emotional patterns is life changing.

It seems to me that in our early years we are preparing for our elder years, and in our elder years we are preparing for death and our next life. And I have found that the best way to prepare for the future is to live each day, each moment, gently, with awareness and openness. Being able to observe life and not absorb everything around me, from the news on TV or the difficulties that others are experiencing, enables me to be compassionate and understanding, without having to have solutions. Letting go of being a problem solver, or feeling responsible for others’ choices, allows for me spaciousness and simplicity, and my body thanks me with more contentment and appreciation.

In fact, listening to my body is one of the very best things that I can do to keep me steady. When I allow my body to communicate, it has such simple wisdom, and it knows what to do in any situation. Learning to love myself has been a great lesson; it’s like enrolling in the school of the future, and the beauty is that we never stop evolving.

Appreciation

As I walked my light steps along the beach, I observed the playfulness of dogs – they love to play together. I felt the cool crisp air on my cheeks, and walked at the shoreline with waves and sparkling water. I appreciated this moment of joy, feeling a part of everything around me, the space and light, and activity. What I felt was that it is all about how we live with ourselves, how respectful we are of our movements and how we love and appreciate ourselves and others and everything.

Every moment is a gift from heaven. How do we choose to live it?

We can choose to stay addicted to our old patterns, holding onto the past like it is a familiar friend, or we can live our future now, returning to who we are.

Whatever choice we make, our past will catch up with us, eventually.

By Bernadette Curtin, artist, art tutor, Byron Bay, Australia

Further Reading:
The Joy of Ageing, Esoterically
Dementia–Is It Truly a Mystery?
Being An Elder Role Model

865 thoughts on “Our Past Catches Up With Us, Eventually

  1. “We can choose to stay addicted to our old patterns, holding onto the past like it is a familiar friend, or we can live our future now, returning to who we are.”
    This sentence is so true, very often we hang on to the past because somehow we feel the comfort of this, rather than wanting to move forward to what we may feel in the unknown.

    1. Hello Mary, what I am realising more and more is that when I tune in to the body, focusing on how it is feeling, or what it is doing, there is a lovely harmony and presence to enjoy. The body so loves it when we connect deeply to our Soul this way, with the breath, with our movements, the past takes care of itself and the future is assured.

  2. Our life and lives are a cycle so that the way we have lived impacts or supports us in how we live in the present and equally impacts or supports us in our next and next cycle of life.

  3. How great if all people understood this, many old people just give up on life – so what are they taking into their next life? ‘It seems to me that in our early years we are preparing for our elder years, and in our elder years we are preparing for death and our next life.’

  4. “Every moment is a gift from heaven. How do we choose to live it?” – a great question and I would add: What degree or amount of heaven do we embrace to live our lives with? And can we allow ourselves to be open to the All that Heaven has to offer us?

    1. Allowing ourselves to be open to the All that Heaven has to offer – I love your question Henrietta, it feels like a surrender, not about more knowledge or effort at all. If Heaven is a vibration that we all can access equally, it is so worth feeling deeply into our own sensitivity to live with all heaven’s glorious qualities. Harmony and stillness are so needed at this time of global wake-up call.

  5. No matter what, our choices come and catch up with us eventually – these might be choices that then support us long term or they might be ones that we have made with little regard to consequences. It is not so much a punishment system but rather a means of learning what supports and what does not.

  6. Bernadette, what a gorgeous blog about life and all its offerings, and I particularly resonate with the importance of developing our relationship with ourselves: “Learning to love myself has been a great lesson; it’s like enrolling in the school of the future, and the beauty is that we never stop evolving.”

  7. I am discovering that there is responsibility and then there is a greater depth to responsibility. I can say I have been fairly responsible in my life, I work hard, pay my taxes, live within the laws of our society, look after people and animals with care and attention to their welfare. But there’s so much more to being responsible. To be responsible to live deeply knowing God and the universe and knowing I am a part of this magnificent whole and then living and expressing this in my everyday life. I am realising that to do this I have to deeply love myself, so that means putting down all the tools I have used to self bash myself, such as a lack of self worth, running on nervous energy so I don’t have to feel the greatness within me, that’s huge to admit that there is a greatness within me that surpass anything I have felt before. I enjoined society to fit in, to hide and not to be seen or felt. But it’s not about me and what I want, it’s about bringing the universe back into everyday life so that we can all get to feel what I feel when I see certain people walking heaven on earth. If everyone got to feel and see Heaven walking on earth then they would know they have a different choice, theirs to make or not.

  8. “Being able to observe life and not absorb everything around me, from the news on TV or the difficulties that others are experiencing, enables me to be compassionate and understanding, without having to have solutions.” What a sense of freedom, to let others be where they are, still feel our warmth and care, but not feel pressured to provide, as you say, the solutions. Surely that supports people to take more responsibility for themselves, something we all must do.

    1. Melinda this is a key aspect of all relationships that you have highlighted here – the fact of being able to live and let live. I still find myself wanting to fix or reach out to do things for others, when in fact this dis-empowers them, and so it is a process of letting go for me that then allows me to deepen the relationships… a work in progress indeed.

      1. Henrietta I also find myself wanting to fix something or reach out to do things for others, I also can feel this deep urge to just let go and allow every thing to just be because I cannot control life and to think that I can is complete illusion on my part.

    2. Allowing others to be responsible for their lives, and not trying to give them solutions is far more loving for all, ‘ Letting go of being a problem solver, or feeling responsible for others’ choices, allows for me spaciousness and simplicity, and my body thanks me with more contentment and appreciation.’

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