Our Past Catches Up With Us, Eventually

Recently a young woman spoke to me about her need to go for a walk to get back to herself after a big night out on the weekend, getting home at 3am. I was also planning to walk my sixty-eight year-old body, with the intention to enjoy myself on a pristine beach, feeling lovely.

Her situation reminded me of times past when, as a young woman, I went out to get drunk or escape from the stress I was feeling, or sometimes to party for the sake of it. As I age, I am made so aware of how I lived my younger life and how my body now carries all that I have lived, and how I have lived – the drive, the anxiousness, the overworked body.

As we age, there is nowhere to hide. Our faces and our bodies are the indicators of how we have lived, what we have eaten, what our thought patterns and emotional patterns have been, and how we have treated our bodies. Even having been amazingly fit and strong as a young person, you can still end up diabetic, arthritic or ill in your elder years.

I have come to realise that it’s not about how much hard exercise you are doing, or how pious you may be, or how charitable, or about any of the ideals and beliefs we may carry around being ‘good’. None of them have worked to bring true joy, vitality and harmony to our inner being.

Letting Go

In our elder years there is a lot of letting go – letting go of employment or a business, a home which is too big, sports that you no longer have the strength to play, children who leave home to make their way in the world. Gardening and chores have to be managed according to one’s strength; we may have to let go of hearing and good eyesight, mobility and stamina.

These are the obvious examples of letting go as we move into our elder years. Does it have to be this way? Have we been living with beliefs that are restricting us as we age?

Thanks to the presentations of Serge Benhayon and the modalities of Universal Medicine I am experiencing first hand the healing and liberation from old patterns of thought and behaviour. For example, we can choose to keep working and being of service in many capacities, as volunteers in our communities, as teachers, writers, carers and whatever ways we are able to connect with people to bring our authority, love and understanding. When we honour our experience and worthiness there is much vitality and purpose to bring to others in our lives.

There is another aspect of ageing to be considered – our psychological health. For example, I have found it challenging and rewarding to face and feel and examine my emotions, the jealousy of another, the bitterness and frustration, regrets, the anxiousness about my future – do I discard these or hang onto them? Do I blame God for my misadventures or suffering?

It is so easy and so irresponsible to look around for someone or a situation to blame for one’s stress or suffering. As a young woman I did not have a great awareness about my own responsibility for my health and wellbeing. I did not fully understand how my emotions impacted on every aspect of my health – psychological, emotional, physiological and mental. I now appreciate how taking responsibility for healing from old emotional patterns is life changing.

It seems to me that in our early years we are preparing for our elder years, and in our elder years we are preparing for death and our next life. And I have found that the best way to prepare for the future is to live each day, each moment, gently, with awareness and openness. Being able to observe life and not absorb everything around me, from the news on TV or the difficulties that others are experiencing, enables me to be compassionate and understanding, without having to have solutions. Letting go of being a problem solver, or feeling responsible for others’ choices, allows for me spaciousness and simplicity, and my body thanks me with more contentment and appreciation.

In fact, listening to my body is one of the very best things that I can do to keep me steady. When I allow my body to communicate, it has such simple wisdom, and it knows what to do in any situation. Learning to love myself has been a great lesson; it’s like enrolling in the school of the future, and the beauty is that we never stop evolving.


As I walked my light steps along the beach, I observed the playfulness of dogs – they love to play together. I felt the cool crisp air on my cheeks, and walked at the shoreline with waves and sparkling water. I appreciated this moment of joy, feeling a part of everything around me, the space and light, and activity. What I felt was that it is all about how we live with ourselves, how respectful we are of our movements and how we love and appreciate ourselves and others and everything.

Every moment is a gift from heaven. How do we choose to live it?

We can choose to stay addicted to our old patterns, holding onto the past like it is a familiar friend, or we can live our future now, returning to who we are.

Whatever choice we make, our past will catch up with us, eventually.

By Bernadette Curtin, artist, art tutor, Byron Bay, Australia

Further Reading:
The Joy of Ageing, Esoterically
Dementia–Is It Truly a Mystery?
Being An Elder Role Model

867 thoughts on “Our Past Catches Up With Us, Eventually

  1. “Being able to observe life and not absorb everything around me, from the news on TV or the difficulties that others are experiencing, enables me to be compassionate and understanding, without having to have solutions.” What a sense of freedom, to let others be where they are, still feel our warmth and care, but not feel pressured to provide, as you say, the solutions. Surely that supports people to take more responsibility for themselves, something we all must do.

  2. “Every moment is a gift from heaven. How do we choose to live it? POW the question that all of us need to deeply reflect on.

  3. Appreciation comes with a deep understanding that we are divine and so is everything else and that we also can not let go of being intimate (letting people in) with others as to appreciate and being intimate go hand in hand.

  4. “In our elder years there is a lot of letting go ” True – and if we can do this with grace it makes life so much easier. In this youth-obsessed world even young people aren’t satisfied with how they are. I wasn’t either – always wanting to change things and look different or wanting things to be different. Until I came to Universal Medicine and learned the power of acceptance and appreciation. I feel more settled now in my late sixties than I ever did when younger.

  5. We don’t have to wait until we are older to let go of issues, ideals, beliefs or pictures of life we want to be real. In fact the sooner we let them go the lighter we feel. I don’t have any issue with getting older as I know I won’t have such a heavy loading on my body if I continue to live and grow the presence of my essence in everyday life.

  6. Indeed, as what was recently beautifully highlighted to me was that we can tick all the boxes – eat well, exercise etc but if within we are judging others, comparing others with ourselves or ourselves with others or even jealous of another or a couple etc we are actually destroying our body within. So every aspect of how we are and how we live is important, even the fleeting thoughts that happen so fast we pretend we didn’t have them or that is okay because no one else knows about them 😐 Everything we do is energetically recorded.

  7. What you say rings true to me that how we are in our elder years is a reflection of our younger years especially how we have treated our bodies. From my own experience, when I was young I never had a thought about getting old it just wasn’t on my radar, I was invincible I was never going to get old.
    I now feel that young people should have more interaction with the elderly so they can see that the body needs to be honoured. Instead we seem to dismiss the elderly to the detriment of the overall health of our society.

    1. I relate to your comment about getting old not being on my radar as a young woman Mary, but I was very fortunate to have older women, my mother, aunts and grandmothers who were amazing role models. I appreciate what they showed me and how they were so much more now as an older person myself.

  8. This is a beautiful sharing; ‘What I felt was that it is all about how we live with ourselves, how respectful we are of our movements and how we love and appreciate ourselves and others and everything.’

  9. How we feel right now is a result of all our choices, so there is no one to blame not even ourselves because it is about taking responsibility and not about blame. If we get caught up in blame, all we would feel is misery, so what will we choose, responsibility or blame?

  10. There is comfort in holding onto the past, we stay stuck and continue to play out old patterns that don’t evolve us in anyway. Letting go of these pictures and old hurts we begin to experience a different way to move and express in the world that is more loving, expansive and true.

    1. So true Anna, the comfort of holding on to the past, mainly our hurts is not so comfortable at all but the pain is a delay, a way to avoid the immense love we could feel and the love that we are.

  11. Yes, we are not moving in a straight line, we do not walk away from our behaviours or problems, we simply cycle round to deal with the imprints we have left behind. So it actually makes far more sense to deal with it at the time and make a different choice. I am realising that this is a choice for all not just our self.

  12. It’s not until my forties that I’ve looked back and can appreciate each age and phase of my life and what it has offered. I can remember wasting so much time and angst wishing I was older when I was a teenager instead of celebrating what was there to learn and grow with each age.

  13. When I see dogs playing on a beach, I have no doubt that I am seeing pure unadulterated joy. Dogs don’t appear to indulge in any mental stuff that can block or remove that joy, in the way that humans do. You are right, so many of us leap to seeking someone else to blame, or even blame God, rather than even for a nanosecond consider that we are responsible for everything that happens in our lives. There is no bad luck, we made that seeming bad luck.

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