As long as I can remember I have always been a clock-watcher, constantly checking the time or racing with it, my wristwatch firmly placed on my bedside table and an alarm clock ready to start my day. This was my safety net that I thought would give me a good night’s sleep, but often left me worrying whether I would get up on time or get to work on time.
I would often feel like I never had enough time to get everything done in the day and was clock watching at every opportunity. To others I was known as the punctual, hardworking and reliable one that could be counted on to get to work on time. I was prepared and would wait ahead of time for others. As a result, I often found it hard to unwind at the end of the day and this would lead to my collapsing into bed feeling exhausted.
This merry-go-round continued for a great part of my adult life and left me feeling a constant nervous tension in my body of where to be next. I was under the impression that this was the way life was and that I just had to keep my head down and keep going. The results were leaving the feelings of stress and exhaustion that were taking their toll on my body.
The race with time was evident in the quality of my interactions with others. They were fleeting exchanges rather than moments of quality connection, as I was constantly thinking of what needed to be done next and never enjoying the moment.
That was until I watched a Unimed Living Presentation in Sydney 2015 by Serge Benhayon on Time, Space and all of us.
As Serge presented, there was a key sentence that stood out for me that I began to understand not only in my head, but it also made sense in my body…
I discovered that I was racing with time rather than being with time.
This sounded a bit odd at first and it took me a few days to get my head around this thought. How could I be racing with time when the clock was controlling how long I had to get from A to B?
Was it possible that I was controlling and rushing the time rather than staying with time?
After a few days of experimenting I came to the realisation that time stayed the same and I was the one pushing and driving all the tension. A big ‘ouch’ and that ‘I get it’ light bulb moment rang true.
As a practical person I decided to put this key sentence into action and started to use a clock or watch to . . .
. . . read the time rather than worrying about staying on time.
At first it took a while as I was so driven by a fast pace of living that would see me filling in more ‘things to do lists’ when I noticed I had more time up my sleeve. I could feel that I still had a need to be ‘doing stuff’ in this extra time rather than connecting to the opportunity that became available for me to appreciate and confirm that I was starting to feel an ease in my body that I never felt before. I could feel what was true in my body but the levels of drive and momentum I had built up over my life were still very strong and overrode my ability to stay settled. I was looking for a way to find a marker that felt true in my body. My only experience that connected me to this was an Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy session I had a few months prior.
The decision to delve deeper into understanding what I was resisting led to regular sessions of this modality with a local practitioner. I was able to feel the natural pace in which my body moved. There was an ease that didn’t have me rushing ahead but still felt that I was moving with the movements that supported me to work with vitality and a steady flow.
After a number of weeks I had noticed gradual changes in how I was working. These included:
- Less tension in my body and trusting that the pace I was working with supported me and was within time
- Letting go of the alarm clock and working on a nightly routine where I made sure I wound down before placing myself in bed
- Ability to work longer periods of time without feeling exhausted
- Appreciating the changes daily that build a foundational support level to connect to.
A year later, I have started to truly feel what my priorities are in each day. My day starts with a connection to me first and then where I need to go next to support others. The tension in my body has led to physical changes where I am more settled in my walk and have an increased sense of self-certainty. Physical changes have occurred in my face, arms and legs due to the release of tension, and the clock is just that – a clock that tells the time – nothing more!
I am deeply thankful to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for offering the opportunity to truly understand my relationship with time and the support that is provided by the Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy modality. What was offered was paramount in supporting me to return to my natural rhythm that funnily enough has nothing to do with time! I am now living my life, rather than rushing through life, and I can feel that my body thanks me each and every day.
By Anonymous
Further Reading:
A Race Against Time
Time and our perception of it
So Long Sciatica – Thanks to Universal Medicine and Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
I used to make a list of things to do for the day and I would start with the least priority ones as I then knew I would have to complete the whole list as the higher priority ones could not be left out. But of course this mean there was a stress and tension in my body as I was racing to complete the whole list and it would leave me feeling so tired at the end of the day and not having enjoyed any of what was done.
This is a great blog, Anon, and with no pun intended highlights the fact that to not be racing time is a process to heal which no time frame can be place upon – hence the healing that can happen.
“I discovered that I was racing with time rather than being with time.” – this is something I can certainly sit with and ponder on… It is like I try to squeeze too many things into time, and this gets me into trouble feeling late, stressed and uptight. Whereas when I allow myself to feel what is needed when, then it is a different relationship with time and I do not experience the same stress and tension in the body.
Appreciation is always important, and helps build a foundation from which to take the next step, ‘Appreciating the changes daily that build a foundational support level to connect to.’
Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy offers the opportunity to reconnect to the natural flow within the body and to feel the pulse of love of the Universe that is constant and not constrained by ‘time’..
Life with the pressure we can have from living with time restraints is taking us away from our most divine connection to our innermost and when we allow our life to unfold and with the space for the those natural things to occur then we will find the magic of God and all the time in the world.
The practice of reading time rather than racing against time is a really supportive practice that drops us into the rhythm and flow of our day.
‘Ability to work longer periods of time without feeling exhausted’ I totally get this one.
If I think about all I have to do, even if I gave myself a week to do it, I’d feel exhausted. Instead I am learning to stay with myself and do what’s there to do which works amazingly. Sometimes I fall off the cliff and my need for control and perfection kick into panic and stress. But then I go back to doing what’s in front of me having let go of getting it all done in a certain time. What happens is what’s needed does get done.
Yes and I have found the things that don’t get done actually need longer to perculate and other things get completed quicker. If we surrender and honour the rhythm and order everything takes care of itself with no drive.
Well said Lucy – it is like there is a time for certain things and we cannot try to rush this forwards nor delay it, and when we work with this as a rhythm it actually all takes care of itself without much effort on our part.
Yesterday from 5 in the morning until 8 at night I didn’t stop. There was a lot to do. I reckon in total I had about half an hour to sit down during that time. But far from getting into overwhelm, I simply got on with each job as I was ready for it. There was no investment in getting some things done that there was no time for, I just got practical with what had to be done and found that I enjoyed each moment of my day. Whilst I was quite tired at the end of it, I realised just how long I could work without pushing and how well and unstressed within myself I felt.
Pushing and driving ourselves is very draining, ‘I came to the realisation that time stayed the same and I was the one pushing and driving all the tension.’
I often catch myself being anxious about time or the lack of it and I completely concur with your approach here that the best thing to do in these moments is to stop, breathe gently and come back to a known connection with the body.
Absolutely Andrew, awareness of what is happening in our bodies and retuning to our most divine connection our essences becomes so simple and such a practical tool for more things than time.
Always an important choice, ‘ stop, breathe gently and come back to a known connection with the body.’
From experience when I am really present with me and my body time works with me rather than me worrying about it!
And doesn’t it feel so much more lovely being connected to our body, and allowing the flow.
“Ability to work longer periods of time without feeling exhausted.” A benefit of not racing with time! When it’s just about the doing, and the time we have to do it in, life loses its richness, it loses its purpose and its enjoyment – because we lose the quality of our presence and of being our true selves in each moment. Occupying fully the space we are moving in is much bigger than time.
Wow – this is awesome Melinda, and so true that when we have a purpose we know exactly what to do and when and then all falls into place with ease, and time ceases to matter.
I’ve felt trapped by time most of my life: the stress of having too little time and the fear of having too much. I’ve been working with simply being in all these occasions and today took a timed test which was 30 minutes long where by you had marks deducted for every minute over or under the time period. I did what I usually did which was trust and sure enough there was enough time to say what needed to be said without being under or over the designated time. Reading this today has made me appreciate I can be much more playful and trusting with space and time.
It takes time to become aware of all our old patterns that do not serve us now, and then to let them go, ‘ I could feel that I still had a need to be ‘doing stuff’ in this extra time rather than connecting to the opportunity that became available for me to appreciate and confirm that I was starting to feel an ease in my body that I never felt before.’
How we feel about time is a marker of how we have been living in that period of time. When we have not done much that is truly needed we feel time goes too fast when we do what is truly needed I noticed time seems to be spacious and expand.
That is a great revelation: “When we have not done much that is truly needed we feel time goes too fast when we do what is truly needed I noticed time seems to be spacious and expand”. Our angst with time does show that there is something out of sync, but what requires attention is not ‘time’ but our relationship with and expression within life itself.
‘I am now living my life, rather than rushing through life, and I can feel that my body thanks me each and every day.’ The difference is huge! I can feel that when I go into time I become instantly stressed and this is so unhealthy as well as striping the quality from what I do.
When we go through our day at a natural pace, aligned to the natural space that is always there instead of the time pressured pace we put ourselves in, life feels very different, because we’re offering ourselves a different relationship with it.
Yes and it is worth reflecting back on situations where we have felt the pressure of time we can see that it was a race, and dare I say one that we were never going to enjoy!
Offering ourselves the space to build a foundation of truth is key in learning to live with time instead of being pushed by the clock.
Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy has been instrumental in me learning to be with me and not to be racing ahead of myself, and exhausting myself in the process. I do the exercises every day and learned very quickly that racing ahead was not allowing me to be totally present with my body in that moment, thus losing that beautiful connection which allows me to feel what is going on for me, right there and then, not somewhere in the future.
We learn from young to live by time which is a constant focus away from our inner connection and rhythm.
It is great to check in with myself with regards to my race against time. I can still go into a little bit of drive if I am not careful, but mostly and happy to say I no longer rush around the place such was my old habit.
It is very easy to use time to get nervous, tense, an adrenaline rush – similar to drinking coffee. Once that stimulus becomes less attractive it becomes easier to reorganise one’s life with much less nervousness and tension and no rush.
What you describe here is an important factor in our lives. We live in a way where we have accepted to be constantly under pressure but the key is that we do not have to live with this pressure in us but can live in a way that supports us to meet the world’s demands without being constantly tensed and stressed.
And that way of living feels so much more amazing, ‘I am now living my life, rather than rushing through life, and I can feel that my body thanks me each and every day.’
It’s amazing how much energy we can waste worrying about time rather than being present in the moment… Not that time doesn’t matter but it has its place and I find if I get into stressing about it then it doesn’t actually help.
I agree Fiona, the key is to be present in one’s body to the best of our ability, as this feels more spacious without the feelings of pressure and tension that we do not have enough time.
The race against time is a very familiar one indeed, and one that no one wins, for Time robs you of your space when you go by the rules of time, so that even if you complete the task on time, you feel like you have left yourself behind…Where as space allows you to be with you when you complete the task on time. 😉
Working, or being in space feels so much more enjoyable to working in time, ‘Where as space allows you to be with you when you complete the task on time.’
The race against time is simply an avoidance of space, the place where our true self is found.
Very well said Liane, it makes sense because when we go into time, every movement thereafter lacks spaciousness and it feels like we are being compressed, dense and tense.
I met a friend the other day I hadn’t seen for a few months and he looked so well, years younger than when I had last seen him. This man is in his sixties. He then proceeded to tell me that he was working twice as much as he had before and although he had a few aching joints he was amazed at how, overall, he felt so well and how his business was just blossoming. He had a sparkle in his eye and and joy in his voice, it was lovely to witness. His relationship with time had changed and with it this idea that he had to limit his output because he was getting old. I found this inspiring…..too often we are told it is time to slow down and do less because of our age and we can deny ourselves and others so much if we take this as gospel.
Thank you for sharing that I think it’s such a worthwhile thing to be aware of – not to limit our vitality or capacity to work due to a belief about how we think we should be as we age…
I can so relate to what you have shared – the belief that as you age you should be slowing down. Well this is one ‘should’, that at 69, I am not taking much notice of. It doesn’t mean that I ignore my body if it is tired, but that I embrace the space that I have and do as much as I am able to, in the highest quality possible.
Beautiful sharing Elaine and your sharing exposes how our current model of how ageing is not at all appealing or joyful. Your friend is breaking the trend and showing us another way.
Whenever we are racing against time we are caught up in something that is not real because it is not time that we need but space.
I tend to mostly watch the clock at work when I am bored, but then I remember watching Serge Benhayon sitting quietly, and this inspires me to just be still and to wait.
Once I start to feel pressured by time all these thoughts come flooding in of not being able to fit in and complete all that needs to be done. But then things can only be done one thing at a time and when I allow myself to focus on that, one step at a time, one breath at a time, time is not the dominant factor anymore but simply how I am with myself and what I am doing.
A simple step that can have a powerful effect on the quality that we bring to whatever we’re doing…
Bringing it back to simplicity, ‘when I allow myself to focus on that, one step at a time, one breath at a time, time is not the dominant factor anymore but simply how I am with myself and what I am doing.’
When we are connected with ourselves it is quite amazing how time appears to expand and so much more space is created. This ought to be studied.
That is true and poorly understood at the moment.
It’s interesting how anxious and stressed we can become when we are racing with time, the books by Serge Benhayon around time and space are really worth reading as they are gold and offer us more to consider around the way we get trapped in time.
They are superb books and I would sincerely recommend them too – they have helped me greatly and I continue to learn more from them.
I too am working on a nightly routine to put myself to sleep, and I so struggle with it somedays. I feel like a 7 year old fighting going to bed. So tired but wanting to stay up. A loving work in progress.
Yes, I can observe a little bit of that in me too, a part of me wanting to keep going not wanting to end the day.
Wherever you live anonymous, the way you walk now will be a blessing to all those who past you – showing the world by being you that there is another to be in the ‘race against time’. Awesome work.
I recognise the clock-watching and racing with time, and there’s something quite similar to trying to be good and meet expectations about it. And if I allow time to set the rules, I will have so many grounds to judge myself and others.
I always used to look at my watch on a regular basis checking how much longer I had to get a job done or just watching the time disappear in front of me. Now I still wear a watch although rarely look at it as I have found that when I live and work in a natural rhythm I don’t need to worry about the time because there is always space to work with.
Racing against time increases the tension in our body but the clock just stays with its natural rhythm.
I like how you just started to experiment by using a clock or watch to read the time rather than race against it, that brings a much different perspective, one where we’re not dismissive of time but use it as a marker to see how we’re going rather than something to automatically try and fight.
I had an Esoteric Connective Tissue Session this morning and I agree this modality is connecting us with our body and the natural rhythm of all the tissue within. We can no longer deny we are part of a bigger whole, the universe with its on rhythms we can align with or work against.
Lately I am finding if I go into overwhelm, or worry about lack of time – its quite simple because I have not appreciated that I am already enough. When we know we are already enough there is no room for stress.
I am no longer rushing through life, my old habit, and I get so much more done without the push or the drive, and also feel a contentment and a settlement in my body along with feeling a deeper purpose to all that I do even my house-work.
Racing a clock sets us up to be stressed and anxious as time is but a marker of our delay. Stepping into the day in connection turns time on its head and allows a space to open that allows all that is needed to complete.
Wow, the power in words ‘time is but a marker of our delay’
Yes Annelies and to think, there is no time in space.
and no space when we are caught up in time
This has completely stopped me today and made me reflect: time is but a marker of our delay- and perhaps that is what we react to.. we don’t want to feel the disconnection we’ve chosen, the lack of focus and time wasting, and the subsequent rushing afterwards to try and make up for it. We set ourselves up to rush and to drop our quality, which feels like a distraction from just committing and getting on with what is there to be done.
On the moments I just see time for what it is and don’t let any pressure in I feel space within and around me and the day feels much more open for all things to do. And how more I listen to my inner flow what to do and not to my ‘to do’ list I deepen the quality of stillness and love.
A ‘race with Time’ is a strategy by the spirit to avoid ‘a walk in space’.
And yes indeed how liberating it is free ourselves of this tyranny that is imposed upon us right from the start of our educational lives
Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy offers a sense of stillness in the body that is palpable, so much so that this modality should be shared worldwide.
I have also experienced that natural rythym and flow that you mention here in Esoteric Connective Tissue therapy sessions. It feels like for me during these sessions I am reconnected back to the natural order and flow and rythym of the universe and I am back in sync with it rather than moving against the current of life.
It really is worth experimenting with making changes in our life to be more settled in ourselves and present with whatever it is that we’re doing rather than being in a race against time or constant rushing energy, to bring ourselves back to the quality in how we are in the moment and how we do what we do rather than just getting something done.
This is true for me too: “I am now living my life, rather than rushing through life, and I can feel that my body thanks me each and every day.” I made rushing an art form and so it was not a surprise that I was constantly tired and often exhausted, for when we go against the natural rhythms of life we need to call in a force to do so. And the bonus for me is, like you, my body absolutely appreciates the changes I have made.
I used to clockwatch, especially if I was doing work I didn’t want to do. Since taking on board that I take myself everywhere I go (yes, duh!) and with everything I do, it’s the quality I am with myself that’s important regardless of what I’m doing. When I stay present then time seems to expand and space opens up to complete tasks, and even more gets done.
Have you ever noticed that when we project what we want onto time it seems to change? Ie, if we want time to go fast it feels like it goes slower, and if we want it to go slow it goes super fast. Could it be that time helps us to learn one of life lessons that we cannot control life and that life is not actually about us but all of us?
My body really hates rushing but my head loves it. But my body is the boss at the end of the day, it feels so much more harmonious.
I can feel the appreciation from your body too. Our body really thanks us if we stay connected with it. Sometimes I am not connected and it feels awful and I allow myself to coming back to feeling safe by caring even more deeply to myself.
Time is a great example of the way we subscribe to complete lies without even stopping to question why. It’s high time we review what we know is true in life and live according to that.
“…my wristwatch firmly placed on my bedside table and an alarm clock ready to start my day” – I can relate to this clock watching that would always leave me with an anxious feeling of never having enough time for anything. To allow myself more space one sunday I removed my watch and didn’t have it on all day, to find I had much more “time” to play with and it felt more spacious. I’m also finding these days that as soon as I come in from work and on the weekends I remove my watch and am sensing of the time I have, leaving me far less anxious than when my watch was firmly on my wrist every moment!
I had an interesting experience recently when the clock on my kitchen wall stopped and I had no spare battery. I was absolutely shocked by the number of times I looked up at the wall to see what the time was but by the end of the day I was actually enjoying the fact that I wasn’t being dictated to by the time but appreciating the opportunity to be present in the space that was being offered to me.
Once we start to understand the subjectivity of what we thought was so fixed and that is, time, we are on the path to evolution.
We underestimate the challenge to continue we face when we feel the momentum of our past choices. Your blog brings that awareness to the surface so we can be more informed when we next feel that tension.
I work shift work and I used to be addicted to looking at my watch, many years ago I stopped wearing a watch and it allowed me to be more present in the moment and feel less tired, as I wasn’t being so attached to time.
I have to admit I am still a big clock watcher and use the clock to assess how much I can squeeze into a certain amount of time. But this blog has been very supportive of helping me become aware how I may be able to wind this back.
In time there is never enough, and you feel squeezed, driven and stressed. Being with yourself and your body creates space and a sense of ease in your day.
Gosh I can feel the tension of living based around time. I know that I am still caught by this. In fact I am looking at the time now, rather than simply trusting that I have enough space to complete what is needed before I move on the the next task. I know I can mentally set myself up by going through my mental list of what I need to achieve during the day. This only adds to the tension.
I have the same Jennifer, the clock, time, still gets me but I can feel it is always when I choose to leave my body and/or go into a belief that it cannot be that easy.
Watching the clock we reduce ourselves from living spherically and join the time-line where ‘time’ goes either too fast or too slow. But none of this is true, we have simply made it a reality.
When we live in competition with the clock we will always be racy as we are looking to the finishing line while time just completes another cycle with no end point.
We learn so much when we free ourselves from the erroneous notions we have around time. We can’t really race it; it always wins, or so it seems. There is an art in living with time and not be affected by it and Serge Benhayon has pulled the rug out from underneath all the false notions and constructs that we have conveniently adopted.
The way I work is changing hugely since I clocked how much I was racing with time, and actually find I enjoy work more, which makes it easier to commit to work and get up in the morning knowing you are making it about quality as opposed to the old way of just getting through the day.
The race against time is a race I have never won. This could be because it is an impossible race to win. The time simply ticks on while we carry on like right fools delaying our return for as long as possible all the while blaming the time that is simply marking our delay.
I find the connection with me is one of my greatest avoidance. One I use time to avoid. The faster I am the more I get to indulge in the untruth that I don’t have enough time, I’m to busy, look how much needs doing, rush, rush, rush. All moments I step away from my multidimensionality, all moments avoiding soul and all that I’m offered.
Our time concept is something so various. Sometimes it feels like there comes no end to the day or event and time lasts forever and sometime time flies and the day feels far too short. My time perception is highly influenced by how much I am with myself and present in my body. If I am then it feels as if things come to me instead of me trying to grab it and time is not there but space is.
We are human beings trapped in time that have forsaken the inner space that speaks of our own godliness.
Simply beautiful Liane.
Being a slave to time is exhausting – it constantly stimulates our nervous system and consequently exhausts our bodies.
When I am racing with time I am racing with myself and that feels awful, it makes me smaller and only busy with the temporal side of life not leaving any space to feel my innate rhythm and divine origin which supports me to live life purposefully.
“I discovered that I was racing with time rather than being with time.” This is really something to appreciate as so many of us get caught up in racing against the clock whatever we are doing. But when we are ‘with time’ it really is extraordinary how time opens up and so much more is possible.
I was always racing with time, which meant I always felt I didn’t have time to interact with others, so I didn’t which is a great trick to keep me separate from others and not connecting. I am so much more aware of this now, and still that old pattern of rushing still likes to creep back into my movements if I am not present, so it asks me to continually check how I am moving.
I too have been caught in the time trap. It was all about rushing, and then it changed to be about ending the day at a certain time or starting it at a certain time. I would tell myself off if I got up later than another day, and then pressure myself to get everything done by a certain time. And if it wasn’t finished I would just stop and go to bed. But in this, I was not actually completing anything. I would just make it about the clock. Recently someone supported me to see the importance of completing things, and so now, I might stay up a bit later or wake up at varying times, but it is about the quality of what I do and if I complete things in full. When I do complete things, my body is so much more settled and at ease.
I can relate to what you say on completing things. I have been focussing on that for a while and it has revealed quite some of my patterns i.e.leaving loose ends, finding the left-overs of my non-completed things/tasks the next day costing me extra time and giving stress. Completing tasks has taken some time, but now I realize it is all about the quality I am with all that I do including the completion. It gives so much freshness and clarity for what’s next. And…that it is not about time anymore!
When we let go and stop putting huge pressure on ourselves to be a certain way or to do things by certain times, there is a flow, ease and life feels loads more fun and easy. There will always be deadlines but it’s how we are with them that determines whether we feel stressed and compressed or are enjoying being in the flow.
When we redefine our relationship with time reconnect with ourselves, and let the this connection lead the way, time is relegated to its true status.
It’s a funny thing to rush or race against time when time actually doesn’t change, yet that is what so many of us do. I really enjoy all that Serge presents as a philosopher, it offers everyone an opportunity to wake up out of the norms we have in society and instead live the truth, and the truth is much more supportive for the body.
Very funny what you write: time doesn’t change, whether we rush, race, stand on our heads, turn our back to it or take it easy. It is like running to your grave, when we know one day we will die. Why not live life lovingly and move seemlessly through it?!
So true, I love the fact that time doesn’t change, it keeps tracking just as it always has yet there is a distinct feeling of time rushing through our fingers or, conversely, moving at a snails pace! So we have to stop and consider how our perception of time changes and if we could be the changer…don’t we?!
The greatest way to shrink time is to dense up the space we live within. This we do by not dealing with our hurts, overeating, checking-out, creating and dwelling on issues with each other and generally by giving way to much volume to the ‘self’ that wants to be an individual and be recognised as important, special, different etc. and not enough voice to the true self that knows it is a self but does not move as a self, but in and with respect to the all it knows we are all a part of.
A few weeks ago, I started work late because of the snow, and could feel myself going into an old pattern of rush mode to catch up…. but this just felt awful in my body, as I felt the tension rising within. On that moment I decided to let go of time and catching up, and accepted that I would be finished later today, and all was ok. Well in the letting go, space just opened up. A collegue called to say she was finished and could help me, and she did, and space just opened up, and I got home at my usual time.
More and more I observe, how much I can allow time to control my day… it is a work in progress but I am letting this go now that I am aware!
The book ‘Time’ by Serge Benhayon is an incredible read, it really opened my eyes to how I am in relationship with time and gave me a much bigger perspective and understanding about how we can work with time rather than try and fight against it.
It really is an amusing concept to be racing against time. Whatever do we think we are racing towards? And what state are we going to arrive in? One has got to laugh at oneself and let the shoulders drop down and move in a whole new way.
I agree, Kathleen, making it lighter and move in a different way, without any push or racing changes the quality we arrive in and our bodies and everyone one we meet are super grateful for that.
When stuck in a race with time, the quality of my whole day is less vibrant and distinctly disharmonious in movement as there is a big contraction in my body with this one small movement of ‘one eye continually glancing at the clock’.
I can relate to that. Last weekend I had just a little ‘squeeze’ timewize for one appointment with a friend I hadn’t seen for a while. During the whole get-together I could feel it in my body, not feeling completely relaxed and at ease in that togetherness. It was a great reflection how subtle and loud it can be and effect the quality of being.
Love this expression of ‘a race with time’. I know exactly what that feels like, and there is only ever one loser (me). And it’s a total illusion, we don’t have to participate in this race at all – like a movie that we are forcing ourselves to watch, we can simply turn around and see a totally different landscape filled with space.
You’ve raised a great point about evaluating our priorities from time to time and assessing how we structure our day – these are both important to ensure we aren’t making life all about doing, function, work and racing with time, and that the importance of relationships, for example, is not looked over.
The rushing with time instead of being with time has been, for me, always accompanied by an undertone of ‘never enough’ and a fear of being left behind- so always overworking and overdoing it so as to not have to feel those feelings. But starting to appreciate what I bring is changing that, slowly. The more I make loving choices to care for myself, the less appealing the drive and overwork and the more I can feel what my body’s natural rhythm is for working. Self care builds self respect and a general atunement to and alignment with our bodies’ messages, and it starts to become more natural to actually want to care for them, instead of the constant overriding.
I had a timely (pun intended) lesson from my kitchen clock recently when it decided to stop working. All through that day I found myself looking at it over and over again to see what the time was, but it hadn’t moved. I realised that I do this so much during my day and each time I do there is a little more tension that builds up in my body as I calculate how much time I have to do what is waiting to be attended to. In the end I allowed myself to simply feel the space that was being offered and slowly the day began to unfold in a much more simple and tension-free way…and I got everything done.
It’s amazing how much time ACTUALLY effects our lives, the question of time and what we do with it is so important. I noticed this morning the first thing I do when I wake up is check my phone – for the time and messages. So my first thoughts are… am I early waking up or am I late? And if I’m late do I rush or feel guilty or indulgent, and if I’m early do how do I spend this precious extra time?
I have spent much of my life being ruled by the clock on the one hand, and restaliating against time on the other. I have found an inner satisfaction by putting myself in situations where I try to ‘beat the time’, like leaving things as late as possible and still getting things done within a certain time frame. But what I have come to realise is that I am able to read the time very accurately without a watch or a clock, when I am fully focussed on what I am doing and also when I allow my focus to drop, which basically shows me that I know very well how I am choosing to spend my time and whether it is purposeful or not.
No wonder we are all exhausted! This level of constant tension cannot be just undone it wears out bodies out.
I love this and are very inspired by your sharing of how you moved from pushing and driving time, and really be.
‘I discovered that I was racing with time rather than being with time’ This is my experience also, and I find it exhausting… anxiety always kicks in and my body tightens. When I ‘pace myself’ and go with time, my experience is the exact opposite; my body remains open and calm.
Anonymous, reading this I can feel that it has almost become the norm to live like this; ‘I was constantly thinking of what needed to be done next and never enjoying the moment.’ It feels like our lives are often so busy that we are constantly thinking of what needs to be done next, I have been catching myself going into this drive and thinking about all that I need to do – this is not an enjoyable way to be and so I am working on being present in what I am doing and enjoying every task and interaction without the rushing and drive, when I do this it feels that there is more space and joy.
Being punctual or even early to events/work is great if it’s not at the expense of your body. If it becomes something driven by anxiety rather than love (e.g. wanting to be at work first to prepare the space for others) then we need to stop and learn to feel the right timing rather than rely on clocks.
” My day starts with a connection to me first ”
This is so important , because its you in your day , if not, one spends the whole day playing catch up.