Ring On My Finger

Could it be that we have parts of our body that we have not fully claimed or loved? And if so, how does this affect us either consciously or subconsciously? This was something I clearly felt during my routine one morning regarding one of my fingers, whilst feeling what rings to wear and what fingers to put them on: that on some level, energetically, I felt a finger was not mine! Confused? I will explain.

I love wearing rings on my fingers, but it was only the other day that something was revealed to me that I was not fully conscious of.

While putting my rings on in the morning before leaving the house, I had a feeling to put one on a finger I never have rings on, but hesitated and felt I couldn’t. The finger I am talking about is the finger a woman puts a ring on either when engaged or married: on the left hand next to the little finger.

I remember years ago when growing up being told never to put a ring on that finger because that was only for when I was married. I took this belief on and did not question it, although in my teens I remembered rebelling and putting a ring on it a few times, but even when doing this it was not out of love for myself and my body or about my claiming a part of my body, it was about rebelling against what someone had told me not to do, with an undertone of feeling that I had done something naughty … even though it was my finger and my body!!

On this particular morning though, I could feel that no matter how small it was, on some level I had carried this belief right up until now; it wasn’t even to do with putting a ring on my finger, it was bigger than that. It was the fact that on some level one of my fingers felt that it didn’t belong to me, that I could not claim it and it was there for someone else to claim, and this shocked me. It made me wonder what other parts of my body did I not feel belonged to me as being fully claimed and loved. What other comments had I taken on throughout my life on some level, even subliminally, which still to this day affect my relationship with myself, myself as a woman, and my body?!

I could also feel the insidiousness of the belief I had carried since being young that until I met someone, got married and had a ring on that finger, I was not complete! This also made me wonder how many other woman (or men) around the world feel parts of their body do not completely belong to them or that they have truly and fully claimed with love.

How many of us do not like a certain body part – a bottom, knees, elbows etc – and that in doing this, whether subconsciously or consciously, we are dismissing or disowning a part of ourselves? Is it not time we not only honoured, claimed and loved every single inch of our bodies, but also gave all young women and young men the space do to this for themselves as well?

By Vicky Cooke

Further Reading:
Body Image: A New Way to Look at A Growing Issue
Are We Building Our Body Image, or, Is Our Image Building Our Body?

576 thoughts on “Ring On My Finger

  1. Recently I became much more aware of my left side and when I did I had pins and needles running down it and it reminded me of what happens with a reperfusion injury when there has been little blood flow to an organ/limb etc and through surgical intervention the blood flow is restored and initially there can be quite a bit of pain as the person gets used to the increased blood flow. That is how it felt to me to connect with the left side of my body.

  2. Vicky, this is a great blog. It can be a shock to suddenly feel how we neglected or ignored or had an idea about a particular body part and it can be an experience of a tremendous liberation of the new freedom that is available through the newly found awareness.

  3. Our combined set of beliefs and ideals is what identifies us in life and they have become so much part of us that it doesn’t even occur to us to question them. Often those that surround us carry a very similar set of beliefs and ideals and so they are simply passed on from one generation to the next. Not until someone invites us to stop and asks questions that are so simple but we never had the space to think of ourselves can we start to challenge the beliefs we hold. In my case it was Serge Benhayon who asked those questions.

    1. I agree and over the last 15 years I have found many more of those than I thought could be even possible.

  4. Our beliefs lock us in to a way of being that does not allow us to see beyond the belief. As a result we end up, not understanding what is going on around us because something may not fit into our belief system or we attempt to control everything so we don’t end up questioning if what we believe is true.

  5. “How many of us do not like a certain body part – a bottom, knees, elbows etc – and that in doing this, whether subconsciously or consciously, we are dismissing or disowning a part of ourselves?” – Great question and if we are disowning a part of ourselves is it possible that then another energy takes the opportunity to take up residency there instead… One that undermines us feeling our true essence, until such time as we choose instead to claim back the whole of who we are…

  6. This is a brilliant example of how ideals and belief are much like a curse, that hold us suspended in time so to speak, so that we do not evolve and as such we devolve as a consequence. Our every particle, every part, or our body serves to guide us with an intelligence that supports our evolution so that who we are, the light of our Soul, can be lived in full. Through embracing, honouring and developing a loving relationship with our body, we discover how every part reflects the truth of who we are, and that it is our right to live the celebration that we are.

  7. Our body is there to support us to connect to the beauty within, even with all of our bodies imperfections. Our body is not there to be judged, bettered, improved on but to be cared for, nurtured and loved so that allows us to connect more deeply within and who we are. Any self-judgment or criticism takes us off track. Its not surprising that being this way is endemic.

  8. The impact of an ideal or picture is big on so many levels and always designed to keep us small and not the divine being we are by nature. Our body holds all the wisdom and is our marker of truth so any part that is not fully claimed by us leaves a door open for another energy than sacredness. Great to seal all doors so we can claim our authority and live in unity with the universe.

  9. It’s awesome to consider that even the finest features of our bodies can carry a significant belief and or picture and that in claiming back the divinity we are from we can heal so much. We are but vehicles that express and so we have the responsibility to fully claim, cherish and value each divine part of the whole and enjoy the process of undoing the what is not to uncover more of who we already are.

  10. When we choose to break from the ideals and beliefs and reflect to others that we are not following the norms it often gives another the permission to ponder and question why they too have not taken the opportunity to let go of such constraints.

  11. Taking a moment to see how these beliefs and pictures can still be running us is always a wise choice, ‘What other comments had I taken on throughout my life on some level, even subliminally, which still to this day affect my relationship with myself, myself as a woman, and my body?!’

  12. When I was a teenager going through high school, I did not like my legs. When we sat cross legged in the quadrangle at school, I tried as hard as I could to put my arms across them, or drape my jumper over them. I was ashamed by them because of their size. I felt some sadness writing that as in truth my legs are incredibly awesome and get me from place to place, hold me steady, and provide such a strong foundation. But it took quite a while for that shame to pass, to start connecting to my legs and appreciating them for what they bring and not what I think they should look like. I remember in my 30’s wearing shorts for the first time, and being OK with that. Yes agree VIcky, here’s to loving all of our body and not disconnecting the parts.

    1. A beautiful sharing Sarah, and as a child im sure you never gave a single negative thought to your legs, they were simply part of you. It is not until we focus our attention outward that we get influenced and take on all these pictures that we then compare ourselves to leading to not liking who were are. How beautiful to come back to that childlike way of being where it is not the pictures telling us something about ourselves but the way we feel when we are connected with ourselves.

  13. We live in a world that has ‘red lines’ regarding many things (including our bodies) you can only cross in very specific circumstances. Rebellion against (one of) them means absolutely nothing because when you rebel you confirm what you rebel against and also confirm the general grip that red lines have on you.

  14. “It was the fact that on some level one of my fingers felt that it didn’t belong to me, that I could not claim it and it was there for someone else to claim…” – very relatable Vicky.. it’s as if that finger (marriage finger) is to be only adorned through partnership with another or as if to be owned like a piece of property. No different in ways to other parts particularly of a woman’s body when it comes to her breasts or intimate parts with things such as female genital mutilation [FGM] that continues to be practiced parts of the world. Nobody has the right of another body except the person’s own will to make their body their own, as nature intended.

  15. A great realisation Vicky – “what other parts of my body did I not feel belonged to me as being fully claimed and loved….” Accepting and appreciating every part of my body is something I am working with and at 67 I am loving my own body more than ever – despite its natural ageing etc…….

  16. If we are told and expected to do things, rather than feel what is true for us, it can cause tension and reaction in us, ‘it was about rebelling against what someone had told me not to do, with an undertone of feeling that I had done something naughty ‘.

  17. Even after noticing this and writing the blog several months ago on reflection I can still feel I have not fully claimed this finger and can feel an energy band around it like ‘don’t go there’ or ‘do not put anything on this finger.’ It is really interesting to observe and feel.

    1. The social conditioning can be very strong as society is quick to judge and have we stopped to consider how old this conditioning is and what role models have we had around us to support or break this ideal.

    2. This blog came to mind the other day when a friend shared how they were being judged for wearing a ring on the “wrong finger”. Any ideals and beliefs that we have that bring about judgement of ourselves or others are not truly supporting us to feel the potential we all have to live who we truly are if we make life about what feels true to live rather than what we want others to live.

  18. This not only exposes the beauty of awareness but also the deepening and unfolding relationship we can have with our bodies and how we move everyday. It’s the beauty of the details of what you share here Vicky that is so exquisite and shows just how our beliefs and or images of who we are, can sometimes muddy our true perception of our grandness.

  19. There are lots of subliminal impositions we live under that affects the way we relate with our body. The more we feel the body, the more we are able to expose those impositions and claim our body back.

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