Could it be that we have parts of our body that we have not fully claimed or loved? And if so, how does this affect us either consciously or subconsciously? This was something I clearly felt during my routine one morning regarding one of my fingers, whilst feeling what rings to wear and what fingers to put them on: that on some level, energetically, I felt a finger was not mine! Confused? I will explain.

I love wearing rings on my fingers, but it was only the other day that something was revealed to me that I was not fully conscious of.

While putting my rings on in the morning before leaving the house, I had a feeling to put one on a finger I never have rings on, but hesitated and felt I couldn’t. The finger I am talking about is the finger a woman puts a ring on either when engaged or married: on the left hand next to the little finger.

I remember years ago when growing up being told never to put a ring on that finger because that was only for when I was married. I took this belief on and did not question it, although in my teens I remembered rebelling and putting a ring on it a few times, but even when doing this it was not out of love for myself and my body or about my claiming a part of my body, it was about rebelling against what someone had told me not to do, with an undertone of feeling that I had done something naughty … even though it was my finger and my body!!

On this particular morning though, I could feel that no matter how small it was, on some level I had carried this belief right up until now; it wasn’t even to do with putting a ring on my finger, it was bigger than that. It was the fact that on some level one of my fingers felt that it didn’t belong to me, that I could not claim it and it was there for someone else to claim, and this shocked me. It made me wonder what other parts of my body did I not feel belonged to me as being fully claimed and loved. What other comments had I taken on throughout my life on some level, even subliminally, which still to this day affect my relationship with myself, myself as a woman, and my body?!

I could also feel the insidiousness of the belief I had carried since being young that until I met someone, got married and had a ring on that finger, I was not complete! This also made me wonder how many other woman (or men) around the world feel parts of their body do not completely belong to them or that they have truly and fully claimed with love.

How many of us do not like a certain body part – a bottom, knees, elbows etc – and that in doing this, whether subconsciously or consciously, we are dismissing or disowning a part of ourselves? Is it not time we not only honoured, claimed and loved every single inch of our bodies, but also gave all young women and young men the space do to this for themselves as well?

By Vicky Cooke

Further Reading:
Body Image: A New Way to Look at A Growing Issue
Are We Building Our Body Image, or, Is Our Image Building Our Body?