Ring On My Finger

Could it be that we have parts of our body that we have not fully claimed or loved? And if so, how does this affect us either consciously or subconsciously? This was something I clearly felt during my routine one morning regarding one of my fingers, whilst feeling what rings to wear and what fingers to put them on: that on some level, energetically, I felt a finger was not mine! Confused? I will explain.

I love wearing rings on my fingers, but it was only the other day that something was revealed to me that I was not fully conscious of.

While putting my rings on in the morning before leaving the house, I had a feeling to put one on a finger I never have rings on, but hesitated and felt I couldn’t. The finger I am talking about is the finger a woman puts a ring on either when engaged or married: on the left hand next to the little finger.

I remember years ago when growing up being told never to put a ring on that finger because that was only for when I was married. I took this belief on and did not question it, although in my teens I remembered rebelling and putting a ring on it a few times, but even when doing this it was not out of love for myself and my body or about my claiming a part of my body, it was about rebelling against what someone had told me not to do, with an undertone of feeling that I had done something naughty … even though it was my finger and my body!!

On this particular morning though, I could feel that no matter how small it was, on some level I had carried this belief right up until now; it wasn’t even to do with putting a ring on my finger, it was bigger than that. It was the fact that on some level one of my fingers felt that it didn’t belong to me, that I could not claim it and it was there for someone else to claim, and this shocked me. It made me wonder what other parts of my body did I not feel belonged to me as being fully claimed and loved. What other comments had I taken on throughout my life on some level, even subliminally, which still to this day affect my relationship with myself, myself as a woman, and my body?!

I could also feel the insidiousness of the belief I had carried since being young that until I met someone, got married and had a ring on that finger, I was not complete! This also made me wonder how many other woman (or men) around the world feel parts of their body do not completely belong to them or that they have truly and fully claimed with love.

How many of us do not like a certain body part – a bottom, knees, elbows etc – and that in doing this, whether subconsciously or consciously, we are dismissing or disowning a part of ourselves? Is it not time we not only honoured, claimed and loved every single inch of our bodies, but also gave all young women and young men the space do to this for themselves as well?

By Vicky Cooke

Further Reading:
Body Image: A New Way to Look at A Growing Issue
Are We Building Our Body Image, or, Is Our Image Building Our Body?

561 thoughts on “Ring On My Finger

  1. There are lots of subliminal impositions we live under that affects the way we relate with our body. The more we feel the body, the more we are able to expose those impositions and claim our body back.

  2. This not only exposes the beauty of awareness but also the deepening and unfolding relationship we can have with our bodies and how we move everyday. It’s the beauty of the details of what you share here Vicky that is so exquisite and shows just how our beliefs and or images of who we are, can sometimes muddy our true perception of our grandness.

  3. Even after noticing this and writing the blog several months ago on reflection I can still feel I have not fully claimed this finger and can feel an energy band around it like ‘don’t go there’ or ‘do not put anything on this finger.’ It is really interesting to observe and feel.

    1. The social conditioning can be very strong as society is quick to judge and have we stopped to consider how old this conditioning is and what role models have we had around us to support or break this ideal.

  4. If we are told and expected to do things, rather than feel what is true for us, it can cause tension and reaction in us, ‘it was about rebelling against what someone had told me not to do, with an undertone of feeling that I had done something naughty ‘.

  5. A great realisation Vicky – “what other parts of my body did I not feel belonged to me as being fully claimed and loved….” Accepting and appreciating every part of my body is something I am working with and at 67 I am loving my own body more than ever – despite its natural ageing etc…….

  6. “It was the fact that on some level one of my fingers felt that it didn’t belong to me, that I could not claim it and it was there for someone else to claim…” – very relatable Vicky.. it’s as if that finger (marriage finger) is to be only adorned through partnership with another or as if to be owned like a piece of property. No different in ways to other parts particularly of a woman’s body when it comes to her breasts or intimate parts with things such as female genital mutilation [FGM] that continues to be practiced parts of the world. Nobody has the right of another body except the person’s own will to make their body their own, as nature intended.

  7. We live in a world that has ‘red lines’ regarding many things (including our bodies) you can only cross in very specific circumstances. Rebellion against (one of) them means absolutely nothing because when you rebel you confirm what you rebel against and also confirm the general grip that red lines have on you.

  8. When I was a teenager going through high school, I did not like my legs. When we sat cross legged in the quadrangle at school, I tried as hard as I could to put my arms across them, or drape my jumper over them. I was ashamed by them because of their size. I felt some sadness writing that as in truth my legs are incredibly awesome and get me from place to place, hold me steady, and provide such a strong foundation. But it took quite a while for that shame to pass, to start connecting to my legs and appreciating them for what they bring and not what I think they should look like. I remember in my 30’s wearing shorts for the first time, and being OK with that. Yes agree VIcky, here’s to loving all of our body and not disconnecting the parts.

  9. Taking a moment to see how these beliefs and pictures can still be running us is always a wise choice, ‘What other comments had I taken on throughout my life on some level, even subliminally, which still to this day affect my relationship with myself, myself as a woman, and my body?!’

  10. When we choose to break from the ideals and beliefs and reflect to others that we are not following the norms it often gives another the permission to ponder and question why they too have not taken the opportunity to let go of such constraints.

  11. It’s awesome to consider that even the finest features of our bodies can carry a significant belief and or picture and that in claiming back the divinity we are from we can heal so much. We are but vehicles that express and so we have the responsibility to fully claim, cherish and value each divine part of the whole and enjoy the process of undoing the what is not to uncover more of who we already are.

  12. The impact of an ideal or picture is big on so many levels and always designed to keep us small and not the divine being we are by nature. Our body holds all the wisdom and is our marker of truth so any part that is not fully claimed by us leaves a door open for another energy than sacredness. Great to seal all doors so we can claim our authority and live in unity with the universe.

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