Cleaning Up My Mess – True Self Care or Keeping Up Appearances?

I’m sure most people would list living in a clean and orderly environment as being high on their list of self-care priorities. After all, living in a messy environment is not nurturing or supportive for anyone. For quite some time now I’ve been pondering whether the way I clean my surroundings is truly caring and supportive, or pure function carried out only for the sake of keeping up appearances.

When I create mess and disorganisation, I know it is a reflection of the relationship I have with life and the relationship I have with myself. At times I have found myself heaping harsh judgement on others when I clock the mess they live in, and I’ve certainly harshly judged myself too.

I have begun to appreciate that the reason why we do things and the resulting quality we do things in is more important than what we actually do. My hurried tidy-ups before guests arrive and hidden drawers full of odds and ends don’t honour the importance of my relationship with myself and my environment. In fact, they show me that I am living in a way that is anything but supportive.

Each pile of clothing or solitary utensil left on the kitchen bench seems to make it more difficult for me to feel what is going on around me. When the kitchen is a mess, I can’t even cook a decent meal because I feel ‘all over the place.’ This revelation has helped me to make sense of the tangled relationship I have had with mess throughout my life. I am beginning to see that I’ve often found myself living in a messy way, despite the fact that I dearly love simplicity and order.

When I was a child, my room was constantly messy. I can remember ‘cleaning’ my room by shoving whatever I was playing with under my bed. This went unnoticed for quite a while. It got to the point where I had trouble sleeping, as I would lay in bed feeling stressed about what lay beneath me. Yes, the mess was horrible but it was my secret; it felt too big to sort out on my own and I didn’t seek help, as I was scared of the consequences.

Eventually I stuffed so many clothes, toys, shoes and half-eaten sandwiches (yes sandwiches!) under my bed that they lifted the mattress! When my ruse was eventually discovered, I felt a mixture of shame and relief. I was in big trouble and I had no choice but to start cleaning up. It was hard to face at the time but when everything was back in order I was able to sleep soundly once again.

I grew up feeling that cleaning was either a punishment or a chore. My mum worked hard to keep the house clean for the whole family but I took this for granted as being ‘what mums do.’ I only helped out when it suited me. I struggled to keep my bedroom in order right up until my early 30’s and I often felt ashamed of the way I kept my personal space.

I’ve lived in share houses for most of my adult life and although I was generally able to keep common areas tidy, my bedroom was more often than not a huge mess that I did my best to hide from others. Around seven years ago a friend needed to use my ensuite at short notice and discovered how messy my bedroom was. I was completely mortified and I have cringed whenever I thought of this moment as the years went by as I felt that my messy way of living exposed the fact that I was not a good, ‘normal,’ clean and caring person.

Real changes began for me about three years ago when I had a chat with Serge Benhayon. Serge shared that he religiously makes his bed every day, as this is part of his commitment to himself and his commitment to life. I realised that up until this point I would usually only make my bed because I was hastily preparing for a visit from a friend or family member. I viewed cleaning as a waste of time, something that you occasionally did to keep up appearances and I absolutely could not see the point of making a bed that I was just going to sleep in again that night.

After this conversation with Serge I began to make my bed every single day, even if there was no chance anyone except me would see my handiwork. My choice to make my bed has become as important to me as getting dressed.

And if I do leave the house without making my bed or tidying my room?

Well it’s a sure-fire sign that I’m choosing to create stress and complication for myself. Cleaning, keeping my environment tidy and making my bed each day have become essential parts of my commitment to self-care and order.

It has taken me a long time to admit that I was making a mess in order to avoid feeling how powerful, aware and responsible I really am. Now I can see that I have used mess as a (somewhat putrid) security blanket to help me dull down what I feel.

Today I started to clean up some mess that I had begun to accumulate. I felt more clarity as I brought order to each part of my room. When judgmental thoughts about the choices that lead to the mess being there in the first place came up, they were swiftly thrown out with the garbage.

Now I know that cleaning up my mess can support my connection to the truth of who I am. When I make my connection to my Soul my first priority, when I am cleaning or in fact doing anything for myself and the quality is truly caring and supportive, I am then able to offer true support to others.

Cleaning up our mess is a task that goes far beyond our relationship with the physical world. As I bring order to my environment, I begin to see that my relationship with objects and mess is simply a reflection of the relationship I have with myself and with life. And the more I throw out the things that do not support me, the more space there is to feel just how amazing I really am.

Over the past seven years I have cleaned up the mess in my body through the elimination of alcohol, cigarettes, gluten and dairy, and I’ve cleaned up my relationships by taking responsibility, letting go of reactions and supporting myself to give and receive love. I am beginning to see that there is always something rotten to let go of and something wonderful waiting to take its place. When we clean to keep up appearances or meet an ideal, we are cheating ourselves and everyone else. True self-care simply supports our connection to ourselves. When we choose self-care we support ourselves to feel the truth of who we are.

A huge thank you to Serge Benhayon for giving me the support I needed to start pulling things out from under the bed, and making it too!

By Leonne Sharkey

Further Reading:
Clearing Out Clutter – The Room at the Back of the House
The Power of Making My Bed in Love
What’s all the Fuss about Self-Care?

619 thoughts on “Cleaning Up My Mess – True Self Care or Keeping Up Appearances?

    1. Absolutely Abby. I can relate to have experienced both sides – the flow of keeping things tidy and organised in a natural and loving way and the rigour, control and rigidity of organising things and life from wanting to control how I would expect things to be. The last one definitely exhausts and isolates us whilst the loving care and tidying up invite and inspires others to participate.

  1. “When I create mess and disorganisation, I know it is a reflection of the relationship I have with life and the relationship I have with myself.” Giving myself enough time – and space – to organize myself is something I am learning late in life. I used to pride myself on being a multi-tasker which meant that although I was doing various projects at a time, everything appeared disorganized on the surface. Slowing down and staying present with one things at a time – and clearing up after myself as I go is a task I’m still learning to master. The knock-on effect with my relationship with myself is noticeable.

  2. This has really made me think about clearing mess, creating space and getting rid of stuff no longer required and see if it creates space for me to do all the stuff at the moment I haven’t got time for.

    1. The interesting thing is that we always have all the time we need, it is just a question of our relationship with it and how we use it. As for space it is unlimited!

      1. Sure is and the ease in which the work is done becomes a way of life that make work and play all the same!

  3. My room and my house are not always spotless and all organised. I am not interested in keeping up appearances for others because usually before anyone comes to my house, I would feel compromised not tidying up for me! But yet there is no perfection sought in my day to day, even though I would love a more organized house and more space, I am accepting that as a step by step process with the intention in appreciating rather than wanting to change or not accepting my current choices, would allow it to happen. I have to be very honest to myself that life is constantly asking me to be more, and that starts from within myself and with my closest environments and with my family and home, so with this focus, no matter how busy I may be, I would come back to my home and my room and deepen my relationship with it.

    1. This is gorgeous Adele as I can feel how you put no pressure on yourself to keep your home tidy and by bringing focus to the the relationship you have with with yourself you naturally strengthen you relationship with others and the envirmoment around you.

    2. Superb Adele! I can relate to the step by step acceptance, not in relation to keeping the house tidy only, but to myself, others and life in general. When I find myself wanting to organise everything, to tidy up everything I now know there is something really wrong! I know I left appreciation and the joy of learning behind and became hard, serious and perfectionist.

  4. Leonne you highlight well how everything is a reflection of what is going on in our lives energetically, all of the time. There is always opportunity to create more space in surroundings and open up more space within and vice versa.

  5. Leonne, I love this article and find myself coming back to read it often as it is very relevant for me, since reading this I too have been considering how I clean my environment; ‘I’ve been pondering whether the way I clean my surroundings is truly caring and supportive, or pure function carried out only for the sake of keeping up appearances.’ I have noticed that if I clean for other people, for instance a visitor then this feels unloving, can feel rushed and not enjoyable, whereas if I clean for me and to have order in my house then I and my house can feel amazing.

  6. ‘the more I throw out the things that do not support me, the more space there is to feel just how amazing I really am.’ And this not only happens with possessions but also habits and behaviours.

  7. I have lived in some ‘clean’ houses in my life, but on reflection I can see they were mostly about strict regulations and keeping up appearances to me. The place would be viciously vacuumed when aquaintences were about to come round in case they should see a speck out of place. It feels very true what you outline here Leonne about our outer surroundings reflecting the inner space. I get the sense we all deeply know this but some of us try to avoid it by using control. I can say from my experience this doesn’t work at all. Step 1 in life seems to be accepting totally with an open heart just where you are at.

    1. It’s an interesting point that we may judge a messy home but not a clean one, when they can both be the way they are from the same source of energy that is not from God or the soul.

  8. How we live matters so much more than what we do. This is how I have begun to cherish and be understanding with myself. If I have prepared well with Love, without an expectation about the outcome, and this relates to all areas in life, then I am able to stay in the quality that feels amazing and steady and the outcome will be what it will be. What is there to attack myself with if I have prepared with Love?

    1. This first sentence – ‘how we live matters so much more than what we do’ blew me away and reminded me that quality has to come first, with everything – and to treat everything I do with that same care and attention. Preparation with love comes first, and assures the quality of everything that follows.

  9. Before I left to go away, I had a clear out and left my home clean and tidy (no perfection here) and it feels lovely to know that this is what I will be returning back to.

    1. I remember growing up not quite understanding and getting a little annoyed when my mother would want to have everything clean and tidy before going away on holidays…. we just wanted to get going. BUT now I know, and don’t like to leave the place not tidy before going away. It feels incredibly supportive to come back to a home that allows us all to get on with what needs to be done.

  10. You would not believe how dirty our plumbing was unless you talked with our plumber.. boy oh boy whilst we live in a very very clean house there are areas that can still hold pockets of uncleared energy that when recognised and cleaned offers such a great healing and support for us. Such simple medicine.

    1. I hear you Joshua, like looking inside our washing machine and discovering how filthy it was… and it is meant to clean our clothes that we put on our bodies. Nothing is ever nothing.

  11. I live in a house with a family. There are many opportunities to learn from one another’s reflections in terms of disorder and order. It makes such a difference to be responsible energetically, emotionally and physically.

  12. I find my most restful sleeps are when my room is at its tidiest and cleanest and even that is forever evolving as I take deeper care of how clothes are put away in drawers and hung up in wardrobes.

  13. I too am beginning to understand when we let go of the ideals and beliefs that we hang onto thinking they are who we are, that something more wonderful is there to take it’s place… Me, the real me without the props, pretense and masks that I have worn thinking this is the me that the world wants to see.

  14. I feel that often when we are faced with a mess that we can get rather overwhelmed about where to start and end up walking away, and hoping it will go away. Well that doesn’t work but what I have found that works is taking one little area of mess at a time and once that is done a feeling of space has already been created and I am more than ready to address the next bit. It feels so great as the mess clears that it becomes easier and easier to complete. I love the feeling of spaciousness in me and around me when I begin to clean up my ‘mess’, no matter what form it takes

  15. I feel that often when we are faced with a mess that we can get rather overwhelmed about where to start and end up walking away, and hoping it will go away. Well that doesn’t work but what I have found that works is taking one little area of mess at a time and once that is done a feeling of space has already been created and I am more than ready to address the next bit. It feels so great as the mess clears that it becomes easier and easier to complete. I love the feeling of spaciousness in me and around me when I begin to clean up my ‘mess’, no matter what form it takes

    1. Could not agree more Ingrid.

      In the past I have chosen to ‘do it all at the same time’ – the quickest route to overwhelm! And gosh it’s hard.

      What I have learned and have been observing is that I myself was the one creating the overwhelm in the first place. And how I was doing it was by getting distracted of the priority ‘cleaning up’ and started adding other bits that either would need a cleaning up later on or even extra tasks not really required at that moment.

      One step at a time is such a wise approach and to make sure each step is complete before moving to the next also has supported me.

      Overwhelming and incompletion are now great markers for me that I need to prioritise and get my focus together.

  16. I love the title of this blog – cleaning can be very much about what is on show or done to relieve the body. It is quite different to clean where the starting point is love and care.

  17. When kids are explained why it is important to put things back in their place and how it supports them and every –one else, then more often then not they will do it with out a fuss. When it from an order and/or control by the parent then they tend to react to the energy and not want to play ball with it. In the first incident they feel connected to and considered, in the second they feel controlled and bullied.

    1. With adults too Mary-Louise I observe that when I share with my husband or a work colleague how things in certain places can either support or cause disruption in the space they understand it immediately and more so, it opens up a conversation. Sonetimes we agree together that there is a different place to keep certain things and it feels great to have this discussion and decision made together.

  18. “And the more I throw out the things that do not support me, the more space there is to feel just how amazing I really am.” Clearing the things that do not support me is like taking blinkers off and discovering a world I was not able to previously see or feel.

  19. The purpose and intention behind why we do something makes such a difference to how we feel whilst we’re doing it and the energetic imprint that we leave in our wake, and also our willingness to do it in the first place!

  20. Cleaning up by putting everything out of sight is like putting on a smile when we actually are sad or unhappy. It looks good but it doesn’t feel great.

    1. I agree Lieke, as years ago we would have visitors from the States come for a couple of weeks and my life was so chaotic that the house was never ready in time, so we would put everything in back bags, stuff it in a cupboard and sort it later. But I remember standing in the kitchen feeling the space around me and it did not feel loved or cared for, yes it was clean and free of clutter, but it felt horrible.

  21. Like refining our diet or sleep patterns or exercise routine I find I am always refining cleaning and organization of our home. I can feel when something needs to go or a space that needs to be re-organised but when this gets left and is well overdue it makes a big impact on how the house feels. The same with leaving repairs and maintenance for too long…. it is like leaving addressing and healing something in our selves for too long also.

    1. Thank you Aimee, it’s a great point you make that whether we attend to our body or our home it’s all the same thing.

  22. I find cleaning and clearing for me at times removes the cobwebs and the lingering effect of an old pattern, at times it feels like paving the way for what is on its way, and at times it simply allows me to deepen my relationship with the area that I am engaged in. Whatever the flavour, I could be doing more. Thank you for the inspiration.

  23. I like the title Leonne. ‘Appearances’ ‘veneers’ ‘masks’ ‘shows’ have all become an integral part of what we see it is to be human. There is so much judgment that we have to protect ourselves with appearances. Also we know what is true deep inside and when we don’t match that we put up a pretend smoke screen or do an imitation of the truth. Time for genuine dedication to being true in our lives not matter how imperfect that may be. Acceptance, acceptance, acceptance.

  24. Living an ordered life in honour of ourselves and others, provides for a natural flow that is supportive of us all.

  25. So taught into me is the ‘keeping up appearances’ approach that I have to be very attentive to the quality with which I tidy up… I am freer than ever before of the pressure to to prove my worth through being seen to manage my home efficiently, but the whispers of the rules still appear.

  26. This blog reminded me of cleaning up before a cleaner came to my house to do a spring clean, this was definitely because I wanted to keep up appearances. But I equally know and appreciate cleaning to allow the flow in my house to occur and feel the gorgeous space I can create.

  27. It is very telling how we can rush around to clean and detail when someone is coming over , but sometimes forget to give ourselves that same level of honouring.

  28. Leonne, since reading your article previously, what I have noticed is that now if someone is coming over to visit and I tidy the house for this reason – rushing round to get it done in time, then this feels awful and not loving for myself, my house or my family. If on the other hand I tidy to support myself and my family the house feels amazing and this feels truly supportive.

  29. I am finding clearing and refining myself and my environment an ever deepening process and as I do so I am discovering that my horizon forever expands.

  30. Yes!, i love this feeling of clarity and space when i tidy and clean up…” I felt more clarity as I brought order to each part of my room..” The body certainly does relate and respond energetically to the changes we make in the environment we live in… a wonderful reflection – one that indicates we do register and feel everything.

  31. ‘Serge shared that he religiously makes his bed every day, as this is part of his commitment to himself and his commitment to life.’ So I ‘am getting that cleaning is not a chore but is a commitment to life as is everything else we do. So if we work and are not committed to life does this then reflect in our cleaning? Could it be that starting our day with a commitment, that is to life and that commitment can start to flow into the rest of the day? Then one Loving act leads to the next act, which can then also be Loving because the first was also a commitment to Love and life? Maybe this is how we then move into the day starting out with a Humble act of Love that is a commitment to life so as we go about our day we can be connected to deepening levels of Love and thus greater serves to humanity!

    1. Thank you Greg for your comment about commitment to life in making our bed, and starting our day with “a Humble act of Love” and that “one loving act leads to the next”. When we break all of life down into energy everything is an opportunity to express and be the love that we are.

      1. So true Melinda it is the domino affect. When we allow life to unfold we start out with the first domino being at-least gentle on the way to being self-loving. Then True Love can start to takes it place in our life and that first domino never leaves us for we will always find an area in our life where we can bring a deeper awareness and be at-least gentle.

    2. I like how you have broken this down gregbarnes888. It starts with a commitment to making simple loving acts for ourselves that then ripple out into our days and thus has a knock on effect on others.

  32. What stands out was reflected in a session recently, that we can be doing the same thing but what is the quality of energy and ultimately what is moving us? What type of energy is this, is it for us to look good to another or are we fully appreciating and multidimensionality of each movement that we make, what its actually doing.

  33. The love of myself now is my motivating factor for a life of clarity, order and cleanliness, from my taxes to my kitchen cupboards.

    1. Awesome Heather you inspire me to work on this, commit to living with more simplicity, clarity, order and cleanliness in all areas of my life.

    2. Beautiful Heather. I had not clocked this in myself until I read your comment. My dedication to myself guarantees that I want to have order, flow, cleaniness and clarity around me and in my life. Agree, from wardrobe, accounts, kitchen cupboard, workspace, handbag, wallet, relationships… so inspiring!

  34. Mess is simply showing me how i am living – living messy! It’s annoying and uncomfortable on some level because it does not support me.

  35. There are so many ways we can reduce and distract ourselves from the otherwise vast space that is all around us – in this space, everything is revealed, it’s just a matter of being open and present with it and our movements within it.

  36. There is mess on the outside and sure that is a reflection of something (and could be many things), but this is nothing as compared to a mess on the inside (especially when covered up with a nice controlled environment on the outside). I’d rather see the honest mess then a cover up that makes it difficult to pin down exactly what is happening.

  37. Its an interesting thing to reflect on why we would choose not to clean and therefore live in a messy or even dirty space. I find that some areas are easy but others I find more challenging to clean. Its important to contemplate what this means for each of us in terms of the reflection of each area on the house for ourselves. What I can see is that there are areas in my life that I am willing to compromise on, but what is the effect of this compromise?

  38. ‘True self-care simply supports our connection to ourselves.’ And when we are truly caring for ourselves we are caring for everybody and the amazing thing is we find ourselves equally taken care of by those around us whether they be friends family or strangers.

  39. This is so supportive to read again Leonne, and another great reminder to examine my relationship to my home, and to see cleaning as an opportunity to express my love and the qualities of my soul in every task.

    1. Yes indivertibly Melinda, our responsibility is to look at each loving act as a blessing and then the next place where ever that is will as be blessed so that we appreciate the space in-between.

  40. How we are with ourselves will reflect how we are with everything else in life. The Universe has an order and rhythm to it and the stars know their place in the sky and what they bring to the whole. Keeping our home tidy is like a micro version of the Universe, if we don’t do our bit then this affects the whole. I love your honesty about hiding things under the bed as a way of tidying up Leonne, we may think we can get away with it but our lack of care affects us in so many different ways.

  41. I was helping someone clean out their room and what I realised was, it was more enjoyable than I first thought. Clearing, organising and cleaning felt great. I find it is easy to help others declutter but when it comes to my own room or house I hesitate to start or make excuses to be busy with other things. Decluttering is simple and easy but my mind often makes it more complicated than it is.

  42. I have a very specific rhythm when cooking – I’ll start off getting the room tidy (if needed), then the prep and cooking while tidying up as I go, and wash up what I can before I get to the eating. Its a ritual that for me infuses and informs the whole experience. The settlement I experience from cooking in this way, no matter what kind of day or week I am having, is deeply nurturing – making love in the kitchen.

  43. Awesome to read Leonne, as I know this so well, loose ends will be left hanging when we choose to not clean up. Keeping us feeling dull and not up to scratch in life. It is a true reflection and it is an commitment to make to ourselves, and not to anyone else.

  44. I have also judged others when I have clocked the mess in the house, but over time I have let this go with the understanding that is where they are at – and that is okay. So accepting and allowing are key factors in not judging others.

  45. I am now very particular about how I keep my underwear drawers and my wardrobe. In fact in writing this, it has reminded me that there is one drawer in the kitchen that needs sorting out. These details make a big difference to how I feel each day, and it about acknowledging that how I live matters.

    1. Likewise Debra! I recently noticed that I was finding it difficult to keep my scarves visible and organised in my wardrobe. Just got a very funny hanger for them and every day I love spending time choosing which one I will wear. And great reminder about the kitchen drawer, I can point out one that needs some tidying up too!

  46. One of the many teachings of Serge Benhayon that has hugely transformed my life has been the understanding that it is one life, everything matters and to bring the same love and energetic quality to everything. I used to be fantastic at work but not always so great in other areas such as caring for myself or my body. The opportunity was to take the area where I rocked and bring that to everything. I have experienced great joy, simplicity and transformation in living that way.

    1. SO cool Nicola. This teaching is something I have been exploring with more detail recently and I cannot agree more with you with the feelings of joy and simplicity of living this way.

      I too used to have specific tasks that I would do really well or focus more on. The choice to bring the focus to myself before I do an activity has been showing me how I can have joy and fun in any activity.

      When I am facing an activity that I do not enjoy so much, I have been playing with myself and asking how can I make that activity more fun. Sometimes what was required was to make a very simple adjustment in my position when performing the task so that the body does not feel any tension. On other times is accepting that I need to do a specific task! On others it just need some playfulness and to drop any seriousness!

      It has been super fun exploring it and applying the same dedication and attention to detail to tasks that were previous ignored.

  47. When there is order and clarity the space to be more of the love that I am is all there in those moments. I could relate to that creating a mess to avoid how powerful we are. Something to consider in a relationship with another, what space do I bring to that union?

  48. I can’t say that I concealed my life under the bed in the way you did when you were a kid but I have my own little hiding spots even now as an adult that badly need to be cleared out and exposed. My house looks really tidy, I never leave dishes in sink, I make my bed daily and do the laundry every day, so over all, even if I don’t have guests, my house looks very neat and tidy. Hidden though, are draws full of random stuff and clothes unfolded shoved in my closest, baskets under my closet and baskets that my husband refers to as my nests. Every couple of weeks I will fold everything, put it away and then it just slowly reverts over time. I can really feel from your blog how I use these pockets of disregard as an excuse to not be all of me, to not be in my power. As long as I have my shameful mess, then I couldn’t possibly shine? Thank you for your honesty, it is so appreciated.

  49. I choose to come back to this blog today as it resonated so much with me since I first read it and the comments some months ago.

    I am usually a very organised person and I absolutely adore order and how it supports the flow of activities in a day.
    However I realised a similar pattern of ‘letting some mess accumulate’ slowly and surely, very sneaky! Like pilling clothes in the toilet, pilling papers on my desk, pilling things in my locker at work…

    it all starts with what looks like just a ‘tiny’ thing but what I realised is that this ‘tiny’ is already a confirmation of a choice to be dismissive well before or to create a distraction from something I was focused on.

    So since then, I have been constantly checking in with myself to not let things pile up or to get dismissed. And it has been amazing to see how much simpler it is to keep things flowing rather than causing little disturbances and distractions along the way.

  50. There are so many books on self awakening and self-awareness, so many courses, so much information… And yet as you say Leone, when we start the simplest things we can truly start to know ourselves and evolve out of the old paradigms… Simply the mess… That we have lived in.

    1. It’s as simple as that and we like to complicate it to avoid our true power. Heaven forbid, someone find out who we really are and what we are really capable of. We need to stop fighting our own potential.

  51. When things get disorganised and messy, whether it’s literally when our home becomes a mess or figuratively in relationships, it’s important to ask two key questions… 1) Why is ‘other work’ or distractions more important than maintaining a supportive space for us and others to live in, and 2) what do we get out of having a messy room or relationship? Could it be that ‘mess’ is sometimes a super effective antidote to how life could otherwise effortlessly flow and feel fantastic?

  52. “Now I know that cleaning up my mess can support my connection to the truth of who I am. When I make my connection to my Soul my first priority, when I am cleaning or in fact doing anything for myself and the quality is truly caring and supportive, I am then able to offer true support to others.” I love what you have exposed here about what cleaning is really about. It does make such a difference to our lives energetically. It actually feels like a science in energy. Cleaning our environment and what that can reflect back to us, about ourselves is priceless wisdom found in the simplest of reflections. Available to us every day of our lives.

  53. I have never really seen as clearly before that dismissing cleaning or attending to things left piling up is a way of dismissing something about ourselves. It feels related also to lack of commitment to life and getting on with the details of life.

  54. Leonne, this article is so supportive to read, for years I lived with mess around me and just thought I was a messy person, I have recently realised that I actually love order and being tidy and this feels much more lovely, supportive and natural for me.

  55. “At times I have found myself heaping harsh judgement on others when I clock the mess they live in” I fell into this one yesterday (not harsh, but judgement all the same) whilst visiting a tenanted property, it was extreme and long term mess, but I had to pull myself up knowing I have no right to judge and in particular and crucially need to observe where do I live mess is in my own life. And I have to be honest, on the surface there seems a good level of ‘tidiness’, but this is the deception, when I feel and clock the things left incomplete, or placed in an energy of distraction, or ‘oh it (I) doesn’t matter’ comes in for example, it is an equal ‘mess’. Appreciative of this understanding I can ‘tidy-up’ and reflect a deeper level of love.

  56. “As I bring order to my environment, I begin to see that my relationship with objects and mess is simply a reflection of the relationship I have with myself and with life” . . . Yes my mess is always a reflection of how I am traveling through time and space. It shows me if I am blindly rushing through or if I am travelling at a steady pace.

  57. So timely to read this again today as I have been cleaning out my house, specifically moving items of furniture that don’t get moved very often and end up with a big pile of dust behind and under them, as well as some items that I had considered lost. It’s amazing how it feels to clean up this mess in the actual physical way but I can also feel a corresponding ‘cleaning out’ going on throughout my body. Although once the furniture is replaced you can’t see the sparkling clean floor the space feels lighter and so do I. Note to self – remember to do this more often!

    1. Love it Ingrid, the note to self to do those detailed cleaning more often! This morning I decided to do a ‘deep clean’ in the shower plug and had your comment in heart! Even if we are not seeing it, it does feel great.

  58. I used to judge the tidy up as a boring and a ‘secondary activity’. Because of that, I ended up in the past in a some kind of mess, controlled in some way, but messy at the end of the day. I wasn’t fully commited with this because I didn’t appreciate enough the order and the quality I live in when the space where I live is cleared. Now I don’t differenciate activities between ‘good’ and ‘bad’ ones like in the past did. I’m realising that I am always the emitter and the receiver of what I bring into my life (directly or indirectly). It’s being a process, but what I feel now is that the more I take care of my space, the more the space also takes care of me… and I even enjoy doing it, because is a way of establishing a good foundation in my life, which supports me more than what can be seen in the physical order achieved.

    1. Love your comment about not differentiating between ‘good’ or ‘bad’ activities. I have been experiencing the same as I realised that although the activity changes, I am the one doing them!

      So as you brilliantly said, you are the emitter and the receiver of the activity!

      When I notice that I do not approach an activity with the same enthusiasm that I approach other activities I have been exploring different ways to do the task – in ways that support my body position whilst doing the task. It’s been fun and interesting to explore it.

  59. In my experience any mess I create is the consequence of delay and thereby creating even more of a delay by avoiding to take responsibility to clean up the mess; it´s a vicious cycle that actually can easily be stopped. It just needs to do what needs to be done.

  60. I am in the midst of moving homes and having moved previously found it stressful at times and tiresome. But this time I have felt a real flow of simplicity and have found it fun too. I have been packing a few boxes each week and not leaving it to the last minute taking care to pack the items and really enjoying the cleaning out process. Showing me that my movements that have got me to the next moment will then support me when we unpack the items into our new home. The quality of our energy will ultimately support us long after the movement had even been made and that feels amazing.

    1. Very cool Kelly. Likewise all your choices and the quality of your movements up to this point are what is making the house move fun, planned and organised at this time.

  61. Once upon a time I was a non-bed maker, now I really enjoy making it with my husband each morning, it is never missed, no matter how late I am for work, it is just a part of my life. I would love to get to this stage with folding my clothes, my room is very clean but my wardrobe can easily go astray. Folding of my clothes is the first thing to go when I am in a hurry and let’s just say that I am in a hurry a lot. Knowing that this is a reflection for my relationship with myself makes it even more difficult, as I can get myself down by critiquing my messy cupboard. I am working on bringing more appreciation to myself in the day and I am feeling that this will grow my personal regard and love for myself. Every day, there is something more to work on and evolve, if you are wanting to shift unwanted patterns and habits.

  62. When we first start cleaning things out it is amazing to realise how much we have hung on to, and how little we actually need.

  63. This brings cleaning and tidying to another level, not as a most do, or a should do, but as a support for us in how we are and how we live, and I was struck by what you said about using mess as a security blanket to not feel how powerful we are, and I’m now considering what I do and what messes I create to do the same … time to let a few more go.

  64. When the kitchen is dirty or messy I also don’t feel to cook until it is clean… sometimes I’ve cleaned out the entire fridge too and recycled old food so I can see clearly what is there to cook. Like everyday life, it’s the clarity and simplicity that I’m looking for and love.

  65. “For quite some time now I’ve been pondering whether the way I clean my surroundings is truly caring and supportive, or pure function carried out only for the sake of keeping up appearances.” This is such an important point about our quality we are imprinting into the space and objects as we clean them. There is so much to be said about our ‘quality’ of presence and what is left there when we leave it for others.

  66. I am about to start to do a thorough declutter , starting in one room only (I hope I can stay in one room ). Reading your sharing again has helped me to re focus my energy for the job and I look forward to it!

  67. ‘It has taken me a long time to admit that I was making a mess in order to avoid feeling how powerful, aware and responsible I really am’. Love the honesty here, which is a super invitation to get honest with ourselves and how we are living and expressing in our homes, at work and in all our relationships.

  68. In my life I have had times where everything was neat as a pin and then gone to a complete mess and I realised that it was my consistency that was really the problem. I am always working on this as it demonstrates my commitment to life.

  69. “When I create mess and disorganisation, I know it is a reflection of the relationship I have with life and the relationship I have with myself.” I have gone into anxiousness about this and I realise it is a time to stop and look deeper within, to see what the reflection is trying to tell me.

  70. If I am honest I have always been a messy person who really doesn’t like the idea of tidying or cleaning until I start, and once started I love it and love the outcome and how it makes me feel so it does make me wonder why my consistency is still a bit wanting.

  71. I can totally relate to keeping a tidy in order place reflects how we treat ourselves as I am learning that everything is the all and we can’t have one part of our life a mess without it effecting every other part. AS I have said I actually love cleaning once I get started but with everything going on in life for me it is creating the space which I am still learning how to do as well.

  72. Mess on the outer reflects the inner world just as much as an obsessively created outer without love and presence can reflect a desperate need for a counter to the inner turmoil and chaos.

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