I’m sure most people would list living in a clean and orderly environment as being high on their list of self-care priorities. After all, living in a messy environment is not nurturing or supportive for anyone. For quite some time now I’ve been pondering whether the way I clean my surroundings is truly caring and supportive, or pure function carried out only for the sake of keeping up appearances.
When I create mess and disorganisation, I know it is a reflection of the relationship I have with life and the relationship I have with myself. At times I have found myself heaping harsh judgement on others when I clock the mess they live in, and I’ve certainly harshly judged myself too.
I have begun to appreciate that the reason why we do things and the resulting quality we do things in is more important than what we actually do. My hurried tidy-ups before guests arrive and hidden drawers full of odds and ends don’t honour the importance of my relationship with myself and my environment. In fact, they show me that I am living in a way that is anything but supportive.
Each pile of clothing or solitary utensil left on the kitchen bench seems to make it more difficult for me to feel what is going on around me. When the kitchen is a mess, I can’t even cook a decent meal because I feel ‘all over the place.’ This revelation has helped me to make sense of the tangled relationship I have had with mess throughout my life. I am beginning to see that I’ve often found myself living in a messy way, despite the fact that I dearly love simplicity and order.
When I was a child, my room was constantly messy. I can remember ‘cleaning’ my room by shoving whatever I was playing with under my bed. This went unnoticed for quite a while. It got to the point where I had trouble sleeping, as I would lay in bed feeling stressed about what lay beneath me. Yes, the mess was horrible but it was my secret; it felt too big to sort out on my own and I didn’t seek help, as I was scared of the consequences.
Eventually I stuffed so many clothes, toys, shoes and half-eaten sandwiches (yes sandwiches!) under my bed that they lifted the mattress! When my ruse was eventually discovered, I felt a mixture of shame and relief. I was in big trouble and I had no choice but to start cleaning up. It was hard to face at the time but when everything was back in order I was able to sleep soundly once again.
I grew up feeling that cleaning was either a punishment or a chore. My mum worked hard to keep the house clean for the whole family but I took this for granted as being ‘what mums do.’ I only helped out when it suited me. I struggled to keep my bedroom in order right up until my early 30’s and I often felt ashamed of the way I kept my personal space.
I’ve lived in share houses for most of my adult life and although I was generally able to keep common areas tidy, my bedroom was more often than not a huge mess that I did my best to hide from others. Around seven years ago a friend needed to use my ensuite at short notice and discovered how messy my bedroom was. I was completely mortified and I have cringed whenever I thought of this moment as the years went by as I felt that my messy way of living exposed the fact that I was not a good, ‘normal,’ clean and caring person.
Real changes began for me about three years ago when I had a chat with Serge Benhayon. Serge shared that he religiously makes his bed every day, as this is part of his commitment to himself and his commitment to life. I realised that up until this point I would usually only make my bed because I was hastily preparing for a visit from a friend or family member. I viewed cleaning as a waste of time, something that you occasionally did to keep up appearances and I absolutely could not see the point of making a bed that I was just going to sleep in again that night.
After this conversation with Serge I began to make my bed every single day, even if there was no chance anyone except me would see my handiwork. My choice to make my bed has become as important to me as getting dressed.
And if I do leave the house without making my bed or tidying my room?
Well it’s a sure-fire sign that I’m choosing to create stress and complication for myself. Cleaning, keeping my environment tidy and making my bed each day have become essential parts of my commitment to self-care and order.
It has taken me a long time to admit that I was making a mess in order to avoid feeling how powerful, aware and responsible I really am. Now I can see that I have used mess as a (somewhat putrid) security blanket to help me dull down what I feel.
Today I started to clean up some mess that I had begun to accumulate. I felt more clarity as I brought order to each part of my room. When judgmental thoughts about the choices that lead to the mess being there in the first place came up, they were swiftly thrown out with the garbage.
Now I know that cleaning up my mess can support my connection to the truth of who I am. When I make my connection to my Soul my first priority, when I am cleaning or in fact doing anything for myself and the quality is truly caring and supportive, I am then able to offer true support to others.
Cleaning up our mess is a task that goes far beyond our relationship with the physical world. As I bring order to my environment, I begin to see that my relationship with objects and mess is simply a reflection of the relationship I have with myself and with life. And the more I throw out the things that do not support me, the more space there is to feel just how amazing I really am.
Over the past seven years I have cleaned up the mess in my body through the elimination of alcohol, cigarettes, gluten and dairy, and I’ve cleaned up my relationships by taking responsibility, letting go of reactions and supporting myself to give and receive love. I am beginning to see that there is always something rotten to let go of and something wonderful waiting to take its place. When we clean to keep up appearances or meet an ideal, we are cheating ourselves and everyone else. True self-care simply supports our connection to ourselves. When we choose self-care we support ourselves to feel the truth of who we are.
A huge thank you to Serge Benhayon for giving me the support I needed to start pulling things out from under the bed, and making it too!
By Leonne Sharkey
Clearing Out Clutter – The Room at the Back of the House
The Power of Making My Bed in Love
What’s all the Fuss about Self-Care?
771 thoughts on “Cleaning Up My Mess – True Self Care or Keeping Up Appearances?”
I love everywhere clean and ordered, ‘Cleaning, keeping my environment tidy and making my bed each day have become essential parts of my commitment to self-care and order.’
I hate mess, I cannot live in mess it unsettles me. I do not need a house to be spotless but I do need to have a sense of space not clutter. When I travel I ensure the house is clean and tidy so that I can come home to a house that is inviting and welcomes me back. I love to clean and then feel how that lifts the room and there is a greater sense of space, space is the most important ingredient because space is the atma of God and God means everything to me.
This is very beautiful Mary, ‘ I love to clean and then feel how that lifts the room and there is a greater sense of space, space is the most important ingredient because space is the atma of God and God means everything to me.’
Leonne as I read this I could not help but relate this to my own life, and what has going on for me. Cleaning up has been a bane in my life too, hoping that shoving things away whether for a rainy day or not, has been disturbing to live around.
Just recently I have been cleaning and decluttering our apartment and to throw, give away or selling things have been amazing to feel. And what I realise is the amount of spaciousness this creates and it is beautiful to live around, I absolutely love it. This hasn’t come naturally for me either.
Cleaning up is becoming fun, if I am pulled to go to a drawer or cupboard, I will clean it and in that it doesn’t become a chore, it feels a joyful experience. I am far from perfect at it but boy has this changed to how I used to be.
So it is our choice to do something about our mess and when we go into this rhythm, others around will feel it too.
“the more I throw out the things that do not support me, the more space there is to feel just how amazing I really am.” Lightening the load that our body and our home has to carry to feel the light that we are.
Lightening the load has to do with everywhere we are, whether it is our office, car, home, cupboard, garage, etc, it all has an effect on our bodies. So somewhere along the way something has to give to support us…
Taking care in life with being responsible and responding in a Loving way and elimination our reaction to every situation opens the door to our evolution.
I very much appreciate reading this again, and highlighting the relationship between being ourselves and living connected to who we are, and the role that self care, order, and cleanliness in our homes plays in that. I’m in a declutter process at the moment and the house feels so much lighter and spacious, and so does my body.
Absolutely Melinda, reorganising responsibly and reconfiguring our relationships we have with our residence reflects real or Our-True-essences (Soul) of who we are and thus allows us to respond to our role of self-care.
There is cleanliness and organisation that is done lovingly and then there is cleanliness and organisation that is done with an imposition and a demand on the body. The difference is that one genuinely feeds and supports back the body whilst the other one depletes it. In the same way the disregard of being imposing and rigid with ones cleanliness or organisation can drain one just as much as the disregard and lack of care with having left a mess. Neither is what supports, but when you hold a standard of loving care and cleanliness and respect for self and others and the space one is in, then there is so much more to be gained on all levels.
I love having spaces around me neat and tidy and I do feel a little ‘out of sorts’ when things are disorganized or dirty around me. But at the same time, I am very much also learning to let go of an attachment to things being a certain way or clean to a certain standard and allowing my life to be more simple. For example sometimes I am super tired but still will clean up a mess and over-ride my body’s cues to leave it for the next morning to clean up. Or I can get too involved in cleaning up someone else’s mess and then tire myself from taking on what is/was not my responsibility. This is all a learning curve for me and at times I find it super frustrating and other times I am in the flow of it and love the responsibility of this as it supports and energises me right back.
Leonne, I love what you have shared about how a mess around us can really interfere with how can get things done – not just from a practical aspect of doing things but also on an energetic level too how we can feel bogged down. This is something I can certainly relate to.
‘I’m sure most people would list living in a clean and orderly environment as being high on their list of self-care priorities.’ It would actually be really interesting to find out what people’s self-care priorities are and also how easy it would be for people to list these. Would it be something they know instantly or something that would have to be really thoughts about. Also while writing this I am just wondering what my self-care priorities are now and also how these have changed over the years
Absolutely Vicky our evolution is all about self-care, then being self-loving as our foundation to being in a Truly Loving relationship in all we do and thus not to compromise on any task as they all support the next step in us evolving.
‘At times I have found myself heaping harsh judgement on others when I clock the mess they live in, and I’ve certainly harshly judged myself too.’ From my constant learning it is far better to look at how we live and work with this than to cast our eyes outside and look at how others live and judge. After all who are we to judge another when undoubtedly we have a lot we need to clear, on all levels, in our own lives!
This is a great blog Leonne and I want to understand where judgement of one self and others come from? Is it a learned expression from siblings, family, school and or the work place? Why do we judge, what do we get out of it? It is after all a horrible trait that human-beings have.
I love your honesty here. What are we avoiding when we create mess? This is so true ‘When I create mess and disorganisation, I know it is a reflection of the relationship I have with life and the relationship I have with myself.’ There are quite a few messy areas in my life all around home and work. Which have been really niggling me for ages but I have not given myself the space to just .. well clear space … that is up until now where I have just cleared so much at work and about to start on my home and it feels really good.
Though I have a lot to do I am inspired to clean the house. My life is one of priorities and sticking to completing these is very supportive, as is when other things need to be taken care of, to not be harsh on myself for not having the time to do what I would like to have done.
And how lovely is it to come home to a bed that has been made up with care and love, or to come home to a house that is clean and tidy – so much to appreciate and love you back, a true support to love oneself up.
We have to prioritise in our busy world, bringing support and care for ourselves helps support others, ‘When I make my connection to my Soul my first priority, when I am cleaning or in fact doing anything for myself and the quality is truly caring and supportive, I am then able to offer true support to others.’
“I grew up feeling that cleaning was either a punishment or a chore”. I realise I have had a relationship with many such activities being a chore and a heaviness around them, thankfully I am now learning how deeply loving these activities actually are and how adding a bit of lightness and fun makes a world of difference.
As kids, we do seem to see that cleaning up is a chore, we fight it, resent it and avoid it. But even though this was the case for me, I did get to experience and feel the gorgeousness of order, space and lightness when it was done. It left a tangible marker that I have come to appreciate as an adult and I now truly enjoy the feeling of being in a space that has order and no clutter.
Space feels much more beautiful to be in than a cluttered environment, ‘And the more I throw out the things that do not support me, the more space there is to feel just how amazing I really am.’
Significant that although for a long time you managed to shove everything under your bed, out of sight was certainly not out of mind, neither was this able to stop you from feeling the impact of what you were choosing. It is remarkable the number of things in life we can keep looking good on the surface, when at the foundational level it is all in a mess and regardless of how well we kid ourselves we can all deeply feel it.
Cleaning up the mess in our body is an ongoing task – especially it seems when we are in our elder years and have managed to accumulate many not so supportive habits on the way. Being kind to ourselves as we gradually feel what our body gets nourishment from or not lets us lovingly let go of substances that hold us back from being the vital beings we really are and when we go against ourselves more kindness and firm love needed.
Cleaning provides for the space and clarity to go out into the world. If things are a mess – I cannot support people without making things complicated.
How ordered we are externally is a reflection of how ordered we are internally.
Yes absolutely … very revealing in many ways.
Often when we get to a place where we are living, or maybe working, in a big mess, the thought of starting the process of cleaning it up can become rather overwhelming therefore never begun; and so the mess grows. But I have found that by taking one thing, one pile, one area at a time and working with it very gently and lovingly, I begin to feel enlivened because as the mess decreases, my energy for the task increases and the task becomes easier and easier.
Spot on Ingrid, every little area counts in the clean up and is amazing in its support back. And I have also noticed sometimes when tackling an area that has not been cleaned in a while, there can be a grumpiness or even anger that comes up – I feel this is the grumpiness of having allowed that level of mess to accumulate to begin with! But once cleaned up you feel like your body has been renewed and re-energised too!
When we have an area of neglect (like an overly messy room), it affects everything else we do, all our movements during the day. It is a good way to be less than who we could be.
It’s always such a great read Leonne, packed with wisdom and insight from your experiences. “Cleaning, keeping my environment tidy and making my bed each day have become essential parts of my commitment to self-care and order.” This is so different to our usual reasons for cleaning and brings a joy to each activity knowing we are supporting ourselves and our connection.
We can hang onto to something for life time’s so that it becomes an ingrained habit, which is then extremely hard to let go of because we think it is part of our essential make up of who we are when in fact it is not.
To truly self-care we need to first have connected with the fact that we are more than just flesh and blood because then everything that we do will come from a knowing that we are divine and therefore deserve much more.
We are more than flesh and blood, so the quality we bring to whatever we do will have an impact on all, ‘I have begun to appreciate that the reason why we do things and the resulting quality we do things in is more important than what we actually do.’
Whenever I leave my house I am feeling into if I want to come back in what I leave behind. Sometimes I go back and bring some order, usually small things, but attention to detail feels important, coming back home can be very confirming or even offering us evolution.
We can fake it as much as we want but if it is not true there will always be a niggle of anxiety that we will be exposed. The only counter to this is our commitment to the way we live.
“I am beginning to see that there is always something rotten to let go of and something wonderful waiting to take its place” — such an encouraging way to see and to embrace any necessary de-cluttering whatever the inhibiting factor in our lives.
It is the energy that we live with and in that is the key, What use is a tidy house if it is devoid of love?
Yes, the energy we live in and with is key.
I love clearing up but have definitely used ‘keeping up appearances’ as a way to avoid the ultimate clear up within myself. Enjoying a new phase of honesty, I realise that there is such a deep well of appreciation in clearing up when done in love and honouring of myself and others.
I can put both hands up to being one who used to tidy up to simply “keep up appearances” but there was always an underlying niggle that this was being rather dishonest, which was really highlighted when I couldn’t find what I had hidden away. These days I love tidying up for me and I know that anyone else coming into my space will naturally get to feel the quality of that care.
Order around me supports me being at ease and productive each day.
I’ve put myself on a program of completing things when that is on offer, so to put something away straight away and not leave it or put it somewhere where it doesnot belong. I love order and simplicity and completion is helping me to build this more and more in my life in every area and to not take delay for granted.
I love order, simplicity, and things being put in their place, when I am travelling I attend to this first as it supports me to settle.
Keeping up appearances is one of the most dangerous habits to form because you start to live two lives (maybe more) in order to keep the illusion going. The impact on the nervous system just works its way to the surface.
And you can’t hide it anyway – everybody knows that something is being hidden.
We are certainly understanding so much more how important order and attention to detail is.
Yes love it, when we let go of the stale and stagnant there will always be something fresh, clear and beautiful to take its place.
There is no stagnation in the flow. All that is needed in the moment is offered with simplicity and ease.
I love things simple clear and orderly, but I find if I have let things go and am starting to get in a mess I feel very unsettled in my head, I used to do a clean when people were coming and wondered why I didn’t do it just for me, now I can clean for myself and feel the loving care I have for my home and how that supports me and my family.
Beautiful to hear how you now bring loving care to yourself, and your home, ‘When we choose self-care we support ourselves to feel the truth of who we are.’
Trying to ‘keep up appearances’ is such hard work. Equally, rushing round to keep something tidy just so people think well of us is not honouring of ourselves, because it places their opinion of us higher than our opinion of us which clearly isn’t right at all.
There is an area in my life that is messy and that’s my computer, it takes a lot of my time to find the information that I need and it makes it very slow. So I will start to clean up this mess just like i religiously choose to do in our house everyday.
Bringing out in the open our messy behaviours allows us to feel more of the love that we are, as the space that the ‘junk’ was taking up residence in has been cleaned out to reveal our true nature.
‘As I bring order to my environment, I begin to see that my relationship with objects and mess is simply a reflection of the relationship I have with myself and with life. ‘ So true. When my house is a mess it’s a direct reflection of my internal mess and when I clean it with loving understanding both outside and in are cleared of the rubbish that was clogging me up.
What I find is when I am present with myself, tidying up and cleaning naturally comes as part of completing an action/task. And your sharing just reminded me how as a child I used to regularly get an impulse to reorganize my drawers and tidy things up to rearrange my room. I used to love the feeling of new each time I did that. But this is not happening very often any more, and what you say about making a mess to avoid power feels to have something to do with that, and I can truly feel how letting go of what no longer serves and creating space for what’s next is so very important. Even going through one pile of paperwork and getting rid of most of it makes a huge difference.
I used to have a room in the house that was like a dumping ground, anything I didn’t know what to do with would end up in there and then every now and again I would do a mammoth clean up. That room now has been reclaimed and it feels lovely to go in there and I realise that I do know what to do with everything , everything has a home and if it needs a temporary resting place that place will offer itself up.
One of the things I have observed with myself is the importance of finishing the clean-out I started. I can make a start in a room or cupboard, but if I don’t really finish it by for example not putting things up for sale, but putting that aside for later, then there is this dragging feeling. It is like my body doesn’t settle completely until everything that needs to go and be done is complete. And it really works for me to stay focussed on one room or cupboard and finish that first otherwise I leave or skip the ‘difficult’ things.
The energetic imprints that we leave everywhere we go are our greatest clean up project….and most of us do not consider the mark we make when we dump our issues on others, or on our bodies. Our attitudes to cleaning up our mess physical and energetic is critical, we can not move on with truth until we are prepared to do so.
Yes that feels very true and yet there are not that many who have walked the path of responsibility on that level before. To the best of our ability it is vital that each and every one of us has a go, because then we can bring deeper understanding to the importance of the energetic imprints we leave, not simply the physical ones.
I am in the process of cleaning my house and garden at another level, which feels like an activity of taking greater responsibility for my own body as well. Another aspect of this clean-up is also to clear out the negative thoughts I have about myself, which really are the most toxic things to have allowed in.
I agree, Janet, what a beautiful clear-out, letting go of negative thoughts. Very inspiring. There will probably be things in the house and garden related to this. (In Dutch we would say:) ‘Something to stay on top off’ otherwise this could be the foundation for a lot of weed or mess.
I have found that too, you don’t just clean one space – the body, the mind, the home – even the car all seem to have a relationship.
“Cleaning Up My Mess” – if you want to feel a change in yourself , sense a new direction, confirm something was the thing for you to do, there is nothing better than to do a spot of cleaning to feel genuinely lighter in the yourself and in how you walk, talk, move, dress as a result.
Oh the game of hiding things behind closed doors. One I know well when in fact I can feel the disharmony which shows that everything is what we feel and the energy first before it is the physical appearance. And secondly – that we are being asked to go to a deeper level of care when we feel the disharmony.
The tucking things ‘behind closed doors’ so doesn’t work for me anymore (well actually it never did but I chose to be blind to this fact)… if I try and get away with a cover up job, I carry the weight of it with me until it is properly attended to.
It is beautiful to have our homes clean and tidy, because there is a feeling of lightness in each room and a lightness in the body, and the more detail we bring the more space we feel.
“When we choose self-care we support ourselves to feel the truth of who we are.” The more loving and tender I am with myself the more I get to appreciate who I truly am.
I used to run around tidying and cleaning my house just before visitors arrive and sometimes I still do this. But now, I enjoy cleaning for me and knowing that this is not just for me but for everyone who enters my house too, and I now see cleaning in a very different light. I am also working on committing to life more and more and can see how this affects everything in my life from cleaning, working, to how I eat and look after my body.
What you’ve shared here about cleaning applies to everything – that messy kitchen drawer, our desk or locker at work, our inbox, our laptop.. if there’s undealt with stuff hanging around, it feels like a lag and a drag, silently draining us because we know it’s there but are trying to pretend to ourselves that we don’t need to deal with it. When we do eventually tackle it, we can feel quite a lot lighter, with the space and awareness ready to deal with next thing ahead of us.
I love what you’ve shared Bryony and you’ve reminded me that everything matters. It is so important to keep our space clear, free of clutter and free of complication. It makes sense that this applies to all areas of our life.
Oh I couldn’t agree more Bryony. I feel every time I go to my outlook the heaviness and drain because it’s full of rubbish. We can never underestimate the pockets we hold stuff in that does not serve us and how that affects our bodies and our relationships.
It is a super loving thing to do to have a clean and orderly space around us but what happens if the space around us is not clean and tidy and is not of our own making? It is also a super loving thing to do to ourselves and to others when we pull them up too to treat the space around them with love and respect as it has a knock-on-effect on everyone whether it is in our home or at our workplace.
I have noticed how many people ask what we have done to the house when we do a clean up – it is like they start breathing more easily from the increased space.
I find the way I am around the house and at work in terms of tidiness or mess is a direct reflection of the way I am feeling on the inside. When I’m feeling great then even the smallest thing out of order I can feel, yet when I have let myself go and withdrawn then the it doesn’t matter comes in and before I know it chaos has descended!
So true James. Back in the day when I didn’t feel great I would let so many things slide. Nowadays I feel so much better about myself and am more empowered I notice what’s awry. Needing to make time to clear out more clutter – again!
I love it Sue, it feels like a never ending declutting and discarding of the old. I find say with clothes if something does not feel like it supports me then I do not go to wear it. Even if it may have supported me before so for me as well it is learning to let go of what no longer supports and embrace the new.
Many years ago we would clean the house in a frenzy, shoving things into black bags and putting them in the cupboard to be re-visited when the guests had gone. Even with all of that effort and everything tidy and cleaned, the house never felt great after one of these episodes and to me did not feel clean.
The intention behind all of our actions is of more import than the outcome, for here in lies the foundation of energetic integrity. We can keep everything neat and in order and yet if the intent is to keep up appearances it is based on an empty foundation.
Well said, the intention behind it all is far more telling than what is seen.
I have committed myself to fully clean my kitchen after dinner. I had this habbit of just leaving one thing (like a knife in the sink) or not cleaning the stove. Since I made the choice to do this, this had a ripple effect on the rest of my house. Really completing things and then move on to the next moment.
Great sharing Mariette, I can relate. It feels amazing when we can go to bed knowing we have completion in our day and when we leave the kitchen clean and tidy ready to greet us the next morning with order and simplicity, it feels deeply supportive.
It is amazing how naturally I keep things tidy and clean when I am feeling great and myself and do it without even any effort, it just gets done. Whereas when I start to let myself go, get tired etc. then I stop doing the very things which support me. And it does not take very long before I find that I am living in a mess and it is effecting the way I am. Just like when everything is in order we feel the spaciousness we too feel the opposite when our place is in disorder, we just don’t always want to admit it!
Reminds me as a kid always supporting a friend of mine who had the same habit.
I always knew her secret and could surprise her by organising and cleaning her room by surprise. I could see her struggle why and I always felt that cleaning and ordering is a natural thing for me, I loved to do this especially for her. At that time my young true friend in life and deep beautiful woman now a days.
I always could see her beauty and how she tried to fit in which in truth she couldn’t. Her love and freedom was too big for the measured and controlled way of life we live in.
I just love going away for a few days and coming back to my house with new eyes, so to speak. There are always changes to make and gradually it is becoming a lighter, brighter and more inspirational place to be. There is still a lot to let go of and I have asked for some help with this – I feel this will unload a lot in all areas of my life, not just my house. There is also the area around the house, the sheds and garage and barn, they all have an energetic part to play.
Not only do we have physical mess we also have energetic mess, for example, when we react to another or to a situation. The mess created from our reaction needs to be cleaned up, just as much as physical mess.
‘Cleaning up our mess is a task that goes far beyond our relationship with the physical world. As I bring order to my environment, I begin to see that my relationship with objects and mess is simply a reflection of the relationship I have with myself and with life.’ This is a profound connection to make and a profound realisation to have, for the way forward in changing what has always been can be made with greater understanding.
The house is not just the house; it is our body in repose. When we create mess and disorganization, what we are doing is to create the perfect setting for us not to be able to access multidimensionality in our fullest extent. It is a self-organized set up.
When cleaning is completed because one feels like it and is loving up the space, the imprint that is left is far more beautiful to come back to than the imprint that is left when we feel forced or are not wanting to do it. But we also need to ask why we would not want to do something that supports the body and the family etc – perhaps we have over-extended ourselves in one area and are tired, and our disregard from one area is now affecting us in another area? Such simple understanding takes away all judgements, and allows space for true change.
Every thing that we do has a quality about how we do it, like an energetic imprint if you like, and we can make things look a certain way but this does not mean that energetically it is done with the very same energetic imprint that lies deep within our core – our natural innate essence. It is the expression of or the free and unhindered flow of this inner essence that allows a true quality to emanate into everything we do, and this carries with it self care, self love, love etc naturally so. Learning to live and express from this natural essence can be challenging in a world that fosters the opposite.
Six years ago, we had a loft, and this became our storage unit for all the belongings relating to projects, hobbies, unwanted items, children’s toys etc. The attic was decked out with racking, panelled flooring and orderly to some degree but I got to the point where I could not sleep with this mass on top of me and became very aware of the effects of having this area of the house full to the brim. We have moved three times since then and no longer have a loft space for storage, only a tiny little garage which is too small to fit a modern-day car in.
“Now I can see that I have used mess as a (somewhat putrid) security blanket to help me dull down what I feel.” This is such a common theme across our lives. How often do we use dramas or clutter to mask the simplicity life could be, should be and in fact is?
“When my ruse was eventually discovered, I felt a mixture of shame and relief.” It takes a huge amount of effort to keep up appearances and the stress is all on our shoulders because the illusion is ours!
In cleaning up the physical, material mess we are responsible for in our own spaces, homes, workplaces .. we support in cleaning up the internal mess that is also inside our bodies as well as the communities we live in, and our world. Taking care of ourselves is taking care of everything else we in our whole form and entirety, are a collective part of.
“When I create mess and disorganisation, I know it is a reflection of the relationship I have with life and the relationship I have with myself” – this ought to be part of a work/company’s mission statement Leonne since the relationship with ourselves is what produces the company’s success through its corporate, company, work culture. We set the culture by the culture of ourselves.
Creating mess or being super organised both come with levels of complication that we choose rather than to stay present and feel the simplicity and flow of life that is on offer.
How common is to live in a mess and only tidy up for guests. Of course it will be a chore if we don’t realise the beauty and blessing that occurs when we care-ingly tidy up our space.
Keeping up appearances to the outside world is something most of us are taught growing up. No matter what, suck it up and put a brave face on is an expression I remember hearing – but where is the truth and love in that. Essentially we are being taught to mask what we are feeling so we can fit in and succeed in the world by losing our true nature and moulding ourselves into a chameleon.
Spot on James – you have nailed it here in this comment – anything forced is going to be devoid of true love and care. But that said, we also cannot operate in a world where no one wants to partake and clean and organise things (which can often happen in our real world). Hence, we must ask why we sometimes feel like not doing something that we know will support and help ourselves and others…without judgement and with full willingness to understand.
Thank you Henrietta, no force but plenty of purpose and definitely getting stuck in and hands on in life. No one is above any job however insignificant it may seem. Are we willing to commit to the living the love we are in full not simply for ourselves but to show others they too can do, be and are the same? Or are we happy to have our piece of cake whilst others stay in the mud?
I get up and get ready for work each morning and making my bed each morning has become a ritual, plus my bedroom feels more complete. I have the same routine every morning which is very supportive to start my day, but the key is in the quality I make my bed as this is what I will come back to in the evening.
I love the feeling when I clear out clutter in my home, there is a feeling of expansion and lightness making space for something new.
What we do to our bodies we do to our homes, for example if we trash our bodies then no matter how superficially clean our house is it is being affected by the way we are treating our body.
When our homes are not ordered, clean and tidy we cannot but feel messy ourselves.
Being on the journey of accepting and returning to the greatness we are – everything, that does not belong to it gets highlighted immediately. It is a never ending rhythm of letting go and unfolding. The most joyful, although sometimes challenging, path of life I can imagine.
The highlights can often come thick and fast that can feel overwhelming but we are also offered an opportunity to feel the grandness we come from.
For me there is no better way to leave my home complete, when my bed is done and everything looks and feels like I want to be welcomed, when I enter it again. The moment you leave with a clear and loving energy in any room you are in, this energy will lift you up coming back and settles a beautiful foundation to expandfrom.
Absolutely, and this awareness comes with a simple willingness to see what you have perhaps not been prepared to see to that point. So just as you can feel the support of leaving a room with so much Love that no matter what happens in your day, that is the Love you come back to, conversely if you come back into a room that you have not left to support yourself when you come back you can see it and feel it!
So often my external environment reflects my internal environment – the moment I leave things out and things get messy and out of order I know I too am not living the potential and fullness of the love that I am. One of the things which takes me out and starts me to leave things out is when I get caught up in time and getting things done because I run with the feeling that I don’t have enough time to do that when I actually have ample time. Something I then find is the more everything is in order the more I then can supported and the more I feel with myself, able to let go and surrender without the thoughts of I need to do this or that.
What I have learnt about cleaning up ones mess, is that it there is a greater responsibility to this than I ever imagined. I have learnt that there are consequences for the actions we take in life. For the first time I get the law of physics about the opposite and equal effects of energy. I now really understand passed lives and the effect of Karma that is carried from life to life. I personally feel that I have spent most of this life clearing my irresponsibility from my past lives where now I stand clear as it were ready to go forward.
This I has to say is all thanks to the teaching and presentation of Serge Benhayon and his family who have supported me and thousands of others to understand the great profoundness of life and that we are much more than we seem. I have learnt the truth of this.
When we look at things with a lightness of heart no mess is too big to start cleaning up.
Very true Leonne, we can ‘think’ we or someone else may have destroyed everything but in each moment we have an opportunity to learn and as soon as we do then we can clean it up and go even deeper with the love that we are. Nothing in the world is stronger or bigger or too much to handle than the love we are.
Taking steps towards a responsibility no matter how big or small is a marker of moving towards living at ease with the world.
We cling to cleanliness as an answer in itself, but it’s not. What it offers us is a powerful reflection of what’s truly going on energetically in our life. Maybe our house is spotless but tightly controlled? Maybe it’s pretty clean but cluttered where we go to bed? It’s all just offering us a metaphor for how we choose to live our life – thank you Leonne.
It is utterly important to not get blinded by any ticked boxes superficially. As you say, some households may look very clean, but the energy in which it was done is more than breath- taking in a real sense. We all feel energy way before we react towards any visual end product. Announcing the energy will eventually support you to come back to a true flow of cleaning instead of ticking boxes or staying in the mess of holding back/ abuse.
Thank you Leonne, this is a very supportive blog which I receive healing and insights from for myself with each read. I appreciated what you wrote about keeping things clean and tidy not just being about your dedication to self care, but also about your dedication to order – I had not really considered that point before.
We do know that it is obvious… But starting with the simplest things can turn overwhelm into a flow.
We can present ourselves as being organised but still feel the tension of control that does not allow us to feel the flow and simplicity that we can all live.
I love anything to do with cleaning but do not have as much time as I would like to devote to it. Having said that I’ve just cleaned the living room of my study books and it feels amazing to clear this space – today I finished my course, and it seemed fitting to find a home for the books. Mini celebration in the form of cleaning – love it.
Yes, there is a completion when you can put things away in their rightful place without stuffing them in a cupboard. I always feel like I am either doing it properly or just putting it off for another day.
Learning to clean up our mess is best learned at a young age because it is something that we have to do for the rest of this life and when we return to do it all again and again and again.
I agree Elizabeth, if we learn to clean up our mess at a young age, we are learning responsibility, which is a great foundation to continue building and growing on.
It is interesting, this notion that a messy environment can actually be a barrier to feeling. Because everything can be felt all of the time, there is no great secret to this, energy is present in everything and as energetic being we can surly be aware of and feel everything too. So, to construct or to configure our environments in such a way that creates a dullness is quite clever really, and just goes to show how much sensitivity there is within us all.