Time, Life and Me – Now One and the Same

How often do we say “I don’t have time,” “If only there were more hours in the day,” or “I need time for me, everything I do is for everyone else”?

Common, tiring and ever so draining, constantly wanting more time, never feeling there are enough hours in the day to fit everything in. Our lives are so full of things to do and places to be, it makes sense we feel this way.

I can totally relate to all of this, as in the past I used to squeeze as much as possible into a day. Looking back, my days were gauged by how ‘good’ they were based on how much was achieved or completed.

I was absolutely exhausted, completely overwhelmed and at times enormously frustrated: ticking the boxes and getting everything done, never stopping to consider the quality in which things were being done, and how I was in each moment or the impact this had on my body.

It was more important to get the job done than to consider how it left me feeling, overdoing it, straining myself or pushing myself past the point of exhaustion purely to make my day look like it was a ‘good’ day: I was a martyr, a superwoman, the envy of all women, all at the expense of myself.

Mentally and physically exhausted from choices I made on a daily basis, my body was aching, bloating and sore, my head constantly full of thoughts of what was next, what hadn’t been done, what needed to be done or what was done but wasn’t done well enough; I was completely drained.

I placed a level of judgment and criticism on myself, constantly taking on more, never saying no, forever wanting to complete yet another round of ‘doing.’

Nobody ever questioned why life was like this, living in a state of overwhelm, a constant feeling like there was never enough time in the day to get things done, all part of life, a cycle you could say that was never ending.

Accepted by many, including myself for a very long time, albeit begrudgingly, but nonetheless we seemed to partake in it, using any opportunity to complain but never actually doing anything to change it. As if it was a reward of some kind, the harder we worked and the busier we were, the more complete our lives, our days and perhaps, we were.

Even though this seemed to be the norm, how everyone lived, my body was quickly showing signs this was so not the way to truly live and to continue this way would reduce the level of vitality and quality which I was giving to not only myself but also to others. My body felt like it could only run like this for so long. I could feel it deteriorating slowly, each day more aches, a deeper level of frustration and resentment at the lack of time there was for me to get done all I thought was needed to be done. A merry-go round that felt like it was speeding up, with no end in sight.

Old age was looking pretty dismal and painful if I continued to choose to live in the overwhelm and busy-ness of life. Time was constantly eluding me and I felt like I was never going to catch up.

As a woman who loved to be busy, slowing down was not easy, taking time to prioritise, feeling what was needed and learning to say no took a long time.

Life was and still is full, but with the new choices I now make, by learning to be aware of where I am at, not taking things on unnecessarily, asking for support, and feeling what is needed, my body feels lighter; it no longer carries the burden of “what’s next.”

I now stop to feel how the choices I make impact my body and the flow of my day. Considering if there is a flow – or a drive, a push to achieve, complete or tick the boxes.

It took time, and I am by no means done, nor will I ever be perfect, but I continue to look back on my life, where I was and where I am today, how much more alive, vital, gentle, tender and loving I am with not only myself but also with everyone around me.

With the ongoing love and support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I have been given the tools to make different choices, to be more loving, to not be afraid to ask for help, or to say no, building a level of consistency in my day, my life and my body. Knowing my life, who I am, is not gauged by what I do or complete but by the quality in which I choose to live.

It is this quality I am forever developing and deepening that has allowed me to be the keeper of time, and not time be the keeper of me.

No longer running against the clock, time now comes to me; I am able to complete more in a day than ever before, with more vitality and Love.

By Nicole Serafin, Age 45, Tintenbar, NSW

Related Reading:
Let’s Challenge the Time Tyrant
How to Avoid Feeling Overwhelmed
Time: How I Changed my Relationship with the Invisible Tyrant

611 thoughts on “Time, Life and Me – Now One and the Same

  1. time being the keeper of us rather than the other way around that is huge and I feel the depth offered here, that it’s about the quality of how we are, and the flow and if we go beyond this we become exhausted and overwhelmed. At this point surprisingly or not I’d have to say thank God for exhaustion for it’s a way for us to see and consider that we’ve left the flow, that we’ve left our quality, and why would we do something without either.

  2. After pushing my body over the last fews days I am really feeling it is about quality and not quantity (e.g. how much we can squeeze into the day).

  3. It is amazing when you start to honour your body more through the day without compromising your other commitments just how much space begins to open up.

    1. I find that the moment I try to fit everything in or do things quickly because of not enough time my body goes racy and I usually end up making mistakes and what I am doing therefore takes a lot longer. Whereas when I stay with myself space opens up and I have the time to do what is needed. It is amazing the difference when we stay with our bodies and do not compromise the quality of what we are doing.

      1. True James, with a racy body I make mistakes and then it takes a lot longer plus I end up being frustrated as I know so well in my body to do it loving and honouring me and my surroundings. When I choose to acknowledge how racy I am, it is just a matter of changing my movements and thus come back to the truth that I can so easily connect to in my body.

      2. It really is that simple, I agree and as you say it 1st starts with acknowledging where our body is at, how racy we are etc. and then changing our movements to come back to who we truly are and then the body naturally adjusts and realigns to the love we are.

  4. The one thing I know about me time is the more I get it, the more I crave more, but still never feel like I have had enough me time…. I also now know it is about being me in all I do and then all my time is the new type of me time….

  5. A former ‘stress head’ I now know what is feels like to live without the fear of how things should be or we wish them to be. By allowing myself to be less judgmental and hard on myself was the biggest stepping stone in the right direction that now allows me the joy to feel and trust that all will be done and what is needed at each moment.

  6. “It is this quality I am forever developing and deepening that has allowed me to be the keeper of time, and not time be the keeper of me.” It is in the deepening and understanding of energy and its quality that we also let go of perfection and make life more about growth and understanding, which then makes life more about surrender and not tension too.

  7. This really needs to be global headline. Woman finds true answer to doing too much. I reckon almost every women in the world would read it.

  8. I often wonder where the belief that “the harder we worked and the busier we were, the more complete our lives, our days and perhaps, we were” came from. It is a belief that so many of us allow to run our lives but as you, and I, experienced it often ends up simply running us into the ground. If we were to make the choice to live in harmony with our body and listen to its very wise messages there would be absolutely no way we could live and work like that but as you have discovered, we can still get so much done, and our body will not be harmed in the process

  9. In the past I always made it about time and never the quality in which I would be. There is a world of difference when we choose and express our true quality which is a powerful reflection for others to choose that for themselves too.

  10. I feel stressed when I think I don’t have enough time. But when I am connected to myself and what I do, time doesn’t seem to matter so much anymore.

  11. I am forever discovering just what can be achieved in a day if I allow he day to go with the flow of it. Not only are the things completed that were there to be done, but others will present and be done with no stress or bother. This is so different to how I too used to live and to live this way feels so supportive, not only of my self, but also of others.

  12. Judging our day based on how much we get done is a common one for most of us. I sometimes catch myself feeling that I am ‘not getting anywhere’ just because I am not powering through my ‘to do’ list! The crazy thing is we are never getting anywhere, we just keep spinning round in the same cycles.

    1. Yes Fiona… very true. We can give ourselves a pat on the back or a bash on the head depending on how much we get done or not – but all along we are simply going around, and around and around. How pointless the bashing and patting actually is….

    2. So true Fiona. I find it fascinating quite how many pictures and ideals I have about what and/or how much I should be doing. As soon as I let these take over what I end up doing usually has to be redone or mistakes have been made so problems come back later. Whereas when I let go of needing to do anything I find suddenly everything somehow gets done!

  13. The ‘to do list’ is always there to keep us striving onto the next task and feeling less for not achieving the chores listed. Many years ago I used to have a ‘to do list’ but soon realised that there was always too many things on this list and if anything came up unexpectedly I would feel stressed. So now I don’t bother with lists.

    1. I have to have lists at work otherwise I’d be constantly trying to remember everything I needed to do. What I realised relatively recently was that there was a constant anxiety within me because I was always driving to get to the end of the list. But this can not and will never happen for as soon as one thing is ticked off, more get added. It was in the moment I realised I need to accept that there will always be things that need to be done and if I focus on the quality of how I do something instead of trying to just tick things off, that is all that is needed.

  14. It is sad to see that most people live in the exhausted running against the clock way that you describe Nicole. I certainly did. We create the war zones within ourselves well before any war zones take place outside of us in faraway countries – and not so faraway ones. The overemphasis on doing and achieving at the expense of the quality of our being takes a huge toll on the human body that is not made to be a functioning tool that ticks as many boxes as possible. We are made to live and be in a harmonious flow, swimming with the tide of time and not against it. And ironically when we do, we feel so much more vital and alive, so much more clear and focused and as you say, we do actually get so much more done. But without the attachment and glorification of how much we get done.

  15. ” It is this quality I am forever developing and deepening that has allowed me to be the keeper of time, and not time be the keeper of me. ” Wow this is awesome , going from been the doer and under the command of time , to been the master of time, so wonderful, thank you for sharing Nicole.

  16. “Knowing my life, who I am, is not gauged by what I do or complete but by the quality in which I choose to live” – so true, and although i always knew or connected with [fine] ‘quality’ I connected it with being a ‘quality over quantity’ in regards to ‘less being more’ no to excess through cheapness of quality and so on… and related quality all to things, like clothes, food, items, product brands, education and so on. Connecting to quality in the most recent years as something that comes from within the body first to infuse what is then bought, consumed, eaten, worn etc. has totally changed my life – i.e. quality is not purchased, but lived first to then purchase that will then be of quality.

  17. We can still be superwoman or superman, but this doesn’t mean completing the most tasks or being the most ‘productive’, and is instead all to do with our quality. Do we bring the super-us into EVERY relationship, task, moment and day?

  18. I started off today wishing that I had more time but by the end of the day I feel that I have been able to create the space that I needed so that time became irrelevant.

  19. “I now stop to feel how the choices I make impact my body and the flow of my day.” Yes I find the power in a stop moment can not only bring great awareness to how we move but also in what quality am I then bringing to my movements thereafter. Awareness can offer so much food for thought and an opportunity to deepen our connection and explore what it means to move with love and care as our foundational path.

  20. Nicole I find it fascinating that we never seem to question our lives and how we are living them. We just seem to go along with what main stream society tells us is the way. A sort of ‘heads down bum up’ attitude.
    I was totally lost in this way of living. With the support of the Benhayon family and Universal Medicine I have totally transformed how I live. I live the way I want to live which is quite simple and uncomplicated. This way of life has given me more space and I’m no longer rushing around trying to fit everything into a day and wishing I had more hours. I have so much space and everything gets accomplished just without the stress of rushing. It’s so worth the effort to make those changes in my life to get to this way of life. I wish I had done this sooner.

  21. Last night I spoke to a friend who was in a different time zone that was one hour behind. I said how I wanted another hour in the day. This did not come from me feeling tired and needing more time to do things, it came from there being so much to do in life and a joy in being in life, that I wanted more of it. It was a lovely moment to feel how committed I am to life.

  22. I find that I can slip into trying to fulfill the expectations of others even if they are unspoken and/or unrealistic. The moment I do I feel exhausted. When I stay in my rhythm and flow I am no longer at the mercy of time.

  23. ‘ Knowing my life, who I am, is not gauged by what I do or complete but by the quality in which I choose to live.’ And our body is the great marker of the quality that we are living. To feel my body harden when I am not being and living Love, and then expand and deepen when I connect and surrender to the infinite Grace and Love I truly am is the greatest learning.

  24. It makes sense to me to put the quality in what we’re doing as the priority otherwise what is it that we are getting done? As in what kind of imprint are we leaving behind that ripples out into the world and affects us all in one way or another…

    1. I’m still working on this one, but spot on Fiona. The volume of output is pretty irrelevant if the quality is not there in any of it. And similarly if you do one thing with an absolute quality, then that is worth pure gold.

  25. Nicole that is great. I know for me I get caught in time when I am wanting something, or things to change without actually 1st taking the steps myself. The moment I project out that I want something my focus narrows and it is all about that which means not only do I miss out on everything around me I also get impatient and the tension builds with the desire to attain it. Whereas when I stay with myself, deepen my connection within then what is next comes to me without me needing to go out and grab it!

  26. We really have got it all wrong haven’t we, we are all judge on how quick we can do something its all results driven yet we miss the most important thing – Quality.

  27. To let go of the chase of doing more and more to feel enough, to focus on the quality of my movements is indeed a relief and the antidote to being exhausted.

  28. ‘to be the keeper of time, and not time be the keeper of me.’ is something to always keep with us. When we are the keeper of time we are with ourselves and go for quality, the moment we let the outside world determine what we should do and all our ideals and beliefs that come with that, time becomes our keeper and we will never feel we have done enough.

  29. I am learning to let go of this once very strong pattern, ‘I placed a level of judgment and criticism on myself, constantly taking on more, never saying no, forever wanting to complete yet another round of ‘doing.’

  30. I can definitely relate to the mindset that squeezing more into a certain period of time is a measure of greater success, when actually this completely ignores QUALITY; the defining factor of whether all of the activity and work we do during the day is truly contributing to our community or project.

  31. What a turn around Nicole – this is such a difference in getting caught up with time which is so common in how we are choosing to live. I used to be very caught in time and thought that was how it was going to be. But once we start to factor in quality – then things really shift, because the focus shifts. It is no longer about how much but rather just about the how.

  32. I now appreciate the awareness I have within my choices made and how each new choice not only offers me a pause to feel if it will support me moving forward but also if my next movement will then show if I am moving in rhythm with my body or in drive. It’s really beautiful to be able to feel the quality of our movements when we are flowing from our choices and our bodies natural rhythm too.

  33. I can completely relate with what you have shared over the last few weeks .. or even months life/work seems to have intensified and got very busy. I got caught up in this however, my body soon told me a similar thing if I carried on like this my body would not be able to cope so now I am starting to discern more what I am saying yes to in my life along with taking stock of the quality, love and care I have for myself.

  34. When we live life always in anticipation of, and thinking about, what’s next, we miss out on the enormity of what the present moment is offering us: there is always a greater depth to explore in any moment, when we’re fully committed to being in it.

  35. Living trapped in time is a harming choice justified in the name of getting things done without fully realizing that we do not just do things that are outside of us; we also do harm to ourselves as part of the package.

  36. I want more time in the day as I love what I do, and I want to do more of it. It’s a far cry from the days when all I wanted to do was have nothing to do. But it’s how I approach the doing that makes all the difference – am I trying to achieve and get through things or am I allowing things to unfold and giving my fullness to each moment?

  37. “My body felt like it could only run like this for so long.” Our bodies are so patient, loving, supporting until a point, as you rightly point out, they can only operate at a certain frequency that is not in harmony to its natural state for so long. Then it sends us those niggles, aches, pains, illness and then if we don’t listen to those, the messages can escalate. It is up to us to look at how we are living in our bodies as to what effect our lifestyle is having on our dear patient bodies.

  38. We use time as such an excuse to not bring focus to what is truly needed…which is to live our true qualities such as our joy, playfulness and lightness of being.

    1. Very well said Thomas, this feels so true. I can get so serious when I think I have no time for anything else and this immediately cuts off my playfulness and joy.

  39. I used to live my life in a way where it was frequently, ‘more important to get the job done than to consider how it left me feeling, overdoing it, straining myself or pushing myself past the point of exhaustion purely to make my day look like it was a ‘good’ day’. Totally disregarding, these patterns and beliefs that we have to achieve, instead of it being about our quality and honouring our body, can be very strong.

  40. I find that bringing myself back to how my body feels and checking in if I get a sense of a true flow in the way I’m doing or approaching things helps me to come back to the quality in the way I’m living rather than living from a drive to meet a certain picture in my head. For me too it is something that I can keep developing with – developing more consistency in the quality that I choose to be in and opening up to doing things differently.

  41. “Knowing my life, who I am, is not gauged by what I do or complete but by the quality in which I choose to live” – this is the key Nicole, and also the focus too if life is to be lived truly, spaciously, enjoyably.

  42. Having a busy day feels great when I am connected to myself but when I am not, that is when stress and exhaustion can creep in. I have been learning to not set expectations as to what has to happen but be open to the flow, and plan my day without any expectations feels much more supportive.

  43. Nicole, I can very much relate to living in the ‘busyness’ of life, this feels exhausting and is making life about quantity and not quality, I love what you are sharing here; ‘with the new choices I now make, by learning to be aware of where I am at, not taking things on unnecessarily, asking for support, and feeling what is needed, my body feels lighter; it no longer carries the burden of “what’s next.”

    1. It can be a hard thing for our mind to fathom that when we surrender to the ‘now’ and are completely present within it, the ‘what next’ naturally unfolds unto us without any need to push or drive ourselves towards that point. By putting this into practice, we are much more able to understand how this actually works because we then have a physical lived experience that informs us it is so.

  44. “Knowing my life, who I am, is not gauged by what I do or complete but by the quality in which I choose to live.” Yes, as I am slowly learning. Rather than ticking off my to-do list i now realise that my quality is what is important. What is the point of doing many things if my energy is not aligned to love and truth? My vitality improves as well!

  45. Until we learn to not ‘shrink space’ by filling it with constant motion with no pause to draw the necessary breath in, we will continue to live life at break neck speed and end up an exhausted heap at the end of it. For it is in the pause that true stillness is felt and from this space we are given all we need to move forth with this quality and thus get the job done at no expense to ourselves or anyone else.

  46. I also was very much living in the doing and running in a kind of fight with the time.
    And now the more i re-connect with my body since I study with Universal medicine and getting the support of all those great modalities to bring true healing in my body it gets so much more easy to stay in the space.
    It is thes pace of the connection with my own essence.

  47. When we gauge success on our output, physical, mental or otherwise, we live in the denial of our true nature and run ourselves ragged, as the saying goes. The consequences? Aches and pains, dissatisfaction if not resentment or anger and a definite lack of joy and vitality.

  48. Gosh, this way of describing yourself as bloated, drained and with a head full of thoughts about all the doings of your life is very poignant, because it makes me realise just how normal this has become, to live like this, constantly distracted by thoughts with a body that is bloated and drained. And it makes me appreciate how important the body is, how important my body is, to listen to and to care for with sweetness and grace.

  49. Squeezing as much as you could into the day was how I used to live too, and I loved nothing more than to bring things forward because it felt like I was ahead of the game, and there was a sense of achievement and getting things done. I never stopped to consider or feel how hard my body was and how much I was working against myself and the natural flow and rhythm of life. I rarely rush or push myself now because I can feel the tension and anxiety in my body and how I can be more abrupt in my movements and conversations, it is never worth it, I love it when I am in the flow and space just opens up to do what needs to be done.

  50. ‘As if it was a reward of some kind, the harder we worked and the busier we were, the more complete our lives, our days and perhaps, we were.’ And yet we did not feel complet in ourselves and complaining was just a cover up for how sad we really were about abandoning our bodies, better to complain and blame someone else than feeling it was our own choice from the start.

  51. I certainly had the idea (and hope) for a long time that how much I did, the busier I was the more worthy I would be. Then I realized how running around and always being busy was the perfect excuse to never connect to and deepen the stillness inside me which determines the quality I live in.

  52. It is certainly very refreshing to hear you talking about quality rather than quantity Nicole in terms of how we live our days for everything around us seems to be geared towards how much we can do, produce, create, re-create, reproduce and make without much consideration given to the energetic quality of how these things are done. I can really feel the difference when I stop, slow down and really focus on the quality of how I am doing something rather than just getting it done.

  53. I have found that listening to my body really does provide me with the space to choose for myself what will support me in my next movements and hence how I nourish, nurture and love myself. This is not only a fun exploration everyday but a deepening awareness too.

  54. If we are truly present in the moment with no thought ahead of the next moment and we embrace that moment no matter if it is a difficult or easy moment but just be with it, we can feel that we are living in a space where time is not existing.
    And yes we live in a created time zone so we have to deal with it but we do not need loose ourselves in it.

  55. It is a huge shift to not measure our value on how much we do in the day rather observe how much did we bring of ourselves each day.

  56. Commitment to life has to begin with a commitment to self first otherwise we burn ourselves out. I am committing to all areas of life like never before taking myself to places and doing work that I would not have truly considered had I not come across Universal Medicine. What I am realising is that the newly commitment life can expose where I am at if I am not taking a loving approach towards myself but I know that what comes my way and I say yes to I am more than equipped to deal with unlike the uncertainty in the past which nudged me to avoid committing to life. It is a question of giving to me first and not to that which is outside of me in all that I do and wherever I go.

  57. “I was a martyr, a superwoman, the envy of all women, all at the expense of myself”. I know this pattern very well and grew up thinking this was the normal way for women. When a woman does this functional way of life so well as was the case in this blog, they become a role model but it has the devastating effect of being one that actually causes harm. It sets other women up to compare, feel less and never feel they are doing enough, even though the superwoman herself never feels like she is ever enough.

  58. Thank you Nicole, I appreciated reading this today as I often have drive or time stress in my day, so it was great to read of your experience and how it has changed for you from drive and push to flow – and time coming to you.

  59. Drive has been a much praised and championed way of behaving in our society. This has made it all the more difficult for us to see how destructive it is to our health – and the only way of truly knowing the damaging nature of the force of drive is to re-connect to the body and feel it (another level of awareness that has been resolutely knocked out of us as children).

  60. How many of us try to keep something under control or pull themselves together, and at times it may be somehow necessary, nevertheless it means to compress oneself, and that is literally as the body and being contract. No wonder then that we have no space to be, not even enough to still know who we are.

  61. Reflecting on ‘being the keeper of time, and not time be the keeper of me’ I recognize that it makes perfect sense but is not my everyday choice and thus experience, so it is a work in progress to make that my consistent way of living. It is so tempting to look outside of myself, get lost in what there is to be done, allowing time to set my rhythm and only as the last thing on the list to check in with myself – in other words to be identified with what I do. To turn that around, by a simple choice and shift, instantly empowers me and gives me authority over my life in a way that is not available as long as I hold on to looking outside of myself before knowing myself.

  62. My body tells me very plainly when I am in the ‘doing’. .. and yet sometimes at work when I feel under the pump I still do it. Bringing everything back to connection and multidimensionality has been so amazing, and yes, miracles occur in my day when I make life about energy first rather than function.

  63. Nicole I can so relate to what you have written here
    “I was absolutely exhausted, completely overwhelmed and at times enormously frustrated: ticking the boxes and getting everything done, never stopping to consider the quality in which things were being done, and how I was in each moment or the impact this had on my body.”
    I have lived most of my life like this it’s like surfing the crest of a wave, I just had to keep concentrating on staying on the crest which took a lot of physical and mental energy. Then recently I had a bout of the flu which laid me low and I fell off the crest of the wave, when I got back up again the wave was far ahead of me and I was in calm water and actually it is such a relief to come back into my body and not have to strive to achieve or prove myself. I am enough as I am.

  64. Coming to a deeper understanding about the difference between time and space I am starting to see that on most of the occasions that I say that I don’t have the time I actually do have the space to do what is needed. It has been my approach to time that has been the problem, always feeling like I was running out of it whereas in truth it was the way I was living in constant rush and drive that was the real issue. Now that I have slowed down the way I live my life I am finding that I have plenty of space to do what needs to be done at that particular moment.

  65. You sharing this shows us that time in fact does not exist as an image or strict way, it is reflecting us something. How to be with time is up to us, and how much we are in our own space is up to us too. We can not blame anyone. Only making change ourselves..Now, tomorrow and every day.

  66. Quality over quantity – I like it. Feels like the antidote to this modern-day plague -“It was more important to get the job done than to consider how it left me feeling,”

  67. I know that when I stay in my rhythm and focus on being settled in my body I am able to go from task to task without an erratic change in movement or energy. I find that I am much less tired and much happier. From this place I am then able to spot the times when I leave this rhythm due to an outer pressure or stress. These moments stand out like a sore thumb, and are getting less and less.

  68. There is no greater confirmation of who we are that can be found, than that of our connection to our essence within. A timeless, ageless and deeply beautiful quality that can be lived, enriching our lives wherever we are, whatever we do, regardless of what age we are at. Thankyou Nicole for sharing just how possible it is for this to be lived.

  69. It is crazy how many of us wreck our bodies in the pursuit of recognition wealth or whatever. Ending up with a wrecked body as we get older so we can’t enjoy life and all the things we may have accumulated doesn’t make a lot of sense when we stand back and look at it.

  70. I can so relate to this Nicole and love your blog. You can’t fault what things look like on the surface, but deep down focusing on function and doing doesn’t enrich our lives in the same way deepening our quality does.

  71. “Time, Life and Me…” – thanks to Serge Benhayon and the “purple books”, it wasn’t until i began to understand that life is essentially about space and making life about space that i began to lose my hold and demand of time being the measure of anything or of myself. Living in space, with space … is living.

    1. Yes Zofia,I too have much more awareness of space thanks to Serge Benhayon and now I love making space in my home (less is more), as I can feel how much this supports me in getting a sense of what is coming to me and knowing my next steps.

  72. We need to set constant markers in our life of that which is held and established – our true foundations. And so work from them onwards and deepen the quality of our lives through our every moment, daily movements. To not stand still but move in a way that supports you and once that works to not drop – but hold the quality of movement as your basis.

  73. Thank you Nicole. I remember registering many times in my younger life that although I enjoyed life in general it seemed like a pretty futile exercise. I watched people working hard day in day out only to drop dead and I used to wonder what the purpose of it all was. Now that I deeply understand that the purpose of life is to return to being the truth of who we are and live harmoniously and truly lovingly on earth so that all can return too, the futility of ‘do, do’ and ‘achieve achieve’ can be exposed for the self-punishing activity that it is – and all to keep the human spirit individualised and separated from its fellow brothers.

  74. “I was a martyr, a superwoman, the envy of all women, all at the expense of myself.” This is exactly the type of role model that women do not need in their lives. Having unrealistic images presented about what we should be able to achieve in a day, without seeing the impact on other aspects of their lives, confirms that we need to do more and that we are never enough.

  75. I think I am still learning to not run against the clock…especially this week, I have really struggled feeling like I have been on the back foot all of the time! But it is a great reminder to know that there is another way, that is does not have to be like this, and though I feel like a fool for saying this, I know I am the one doing this to myself rather that stopping and gathering myself first. OK…so let’s begin now…;)

  76. We have always been ‘celebrated’ for what we do rather than who we are or the quality in which we do things! But when you turn this around the other way, then then magic happens…as Nicole has shared here…though I am still working on this formula! 😉

  77. It’s true Nicole… I used to be absolutely dominated by this drive, this anxiety that reduce the day to a series of worry driven steps. So much has changed, as I now have the opportunity at least to know, to recognise that this is not the way it has to be.

    1. I used to be the same Chris and I was very much dominated by this drive. Now, when I occasionally go back into this drive, I can feel how devastating it is to me and to others around me. It brings in complications, drama and disconnection. I am learning to fully let go of this drive thanks to having more awareness around my choices. I am also peeling away layers of lovelessness to reveal the love that is within and to support me to live love more consistently.

      1. Same here Chanly88, when this old pattern creeps back in, I feel the tension and the stress in my body, which is great to feel, as then I can stop, take stock and change my movements which brings me back in my body…

      2. Yes… Just imagine a life without drama 🙂 my gosh… How would people amuse themselves and imagine all the spare time we would have :-).

  78. The thoughts about “what is next” are indeed crushing the body. It takes discipline to focus the mind only what the body is doing now. Making it about being in the body as a number 1.

  79. It is the difference life living from the head and life living from the body. The head has ideals, beliefs and pictures of what we should do, but does not take the body into consideration. It uses it, also possibly with ideals that we are doing good things for others and the world.

  80. The way in which we do things makes a big difference to everyone – whether it be from a quality or flow that we can feel is harmonious or if it is going against that, there is an impact on our body and on everyone else.

  81. ‘It is this quality I am forever developing and deepening that has allowed me to be the keeper of time, and not time be the keeper of me’. This is pure gold…. Time has always dominated me which I have allowed, always in rush mode, never having enough time etc. But the key is in the quality of what I do and not how much I drive and push to get things done with very little quality like I did in the past.

  82. ‘Looking back, my days were gauged by how ‘good’ they were based on how much was achieved or completed.’ That was the case for me too, and sadly I still measure my days by how much I have done, but I am less anxious to do so much and there is more a quality of stillness in everything I do whereas before everything was always done in nervous energy. These days I can catch the busyness and slow down, which is great. I like to feel useful and am learning that the quality of my being is more helpful than any amount of work that I do.

  83. There is an interesting little aside in there – ‘old age was looking pretty dismal’. Ouch. That really is a knowing that how we are living is not the way, and if that is the approach then we can 100% guarantee that we have not evolved along the path of this life, but rather survived in a much reduced version of ourselves.

  84. We all have the ability to feel that living and working at 100mph is not a sustainable way of being, and plenty of people do question it, but most of us just accept it as ‘the way it is’, and some of us thrive off it, enjoying the stimulation, regardless of the impact on the body. What I have come to appreciate is that it’s really not about the number of hours work I do, but how I am with work, how I am in everything that I do. It’s this quality that either rejuvenates me, if I’m with my body and simply responding to what’s needed with acceptance and ease, or depletes me, if I’m resisting or reacting to it.

  85. Nicole this is such a great blog to re-read, so many of us are ruled by how much we can achieve and complete in the day and based on that was the reward at the end of the day, with such things as alcohol or chocolate because we deserved this treat. Bringing an understanding that it’s the quality in which things are being done is huge I have found that when I am just with me while I’m working there is more time and I don’t need a reward at the end of the day as being with me is such a reward in itself. Being with me is such an amazing feeling there is nothing I have experienced quite like it.

  86. This is such a relevant topic Nicole because this is largely how we are now as a society, constantly on the go filling up every space with ‘doing’, even kids are super busy now with many after school activities. We don’t allow space to just be, or value ourselves above what we must attend to in life. I have found Esoteric Yoga so supportive to help me change these patterns in myself so that I am in connection to me as I move about and gently take care of myself as I attend to work and home chores. It is a constant learning as the patterns of getting things done at any expense are deeply ingrained, they are even fostered in education where the exam or end result is put before the child or teenagers wellbeing. There is a lot to undo to return to a loving way of life that supports our health and wellbeing.

  87. Overwhelm is a killer as it scatters my energy and this is very much like handing my power over to time, so that time owns me and is able to totally stress me out. Connecting back to myself and knowing who I truly am turns this all around.

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