Time, Life and Me – Now One and the Same

How often do we say “I don’t have time,” “If only there were more hours in the day,” or “I need time for me, everything I do is for everyone else”?

Common, tiring and ever so draining, constantly wanting more time, never feeling there are enough hours in the day to fit everything in. Our lives are so full of things to do and places to be, it makes sense we feel this way.

I can totally relate to all of this, as in the past I used to squeeze as much as possible into a day. Looking back, my days were gauged by how ‘good’ they were based on how much was achieved or completed.

I was absolutely exhausted, completely overwhelmed and at times enormously frustrated: ticking the boxes and getting everything done, never stopping to consider the quality in which things were being done, and how I was in each moment or the impact this had on my body.

It was more important to get the job done than to consider how it left me feeling, overdoing it, straining myself or pushing myself past the point of exhaustion purely to make my day look like it was a ‘good’ day: I was a martyr, a superwoman, the envy of all women, all at the expense of myself.

Mentally and physically exhausted from choices I made on a daily basis, my body was aching, bloating and sore, my head constantly full of thoughts of what was next, what hadn’t been done, what needed to be done or what was done but wasn’t done well enough; I was completely drained.

I placed a level of judgment and criticism on myself, constantly taking on more, never saying no, forever wanting to complete yet another round of ‘doing.’

Nobody ever questioned why life was like this, living in a state of overwhelm, a constant feeling like there was never enough time in the day to get things done, all part of life, a cycle you could say that was never ending.

Accepted by many, including myself for a very long time, albeit begrudgingly, but nonetheless we seemed to partake in it, using any opportunity to complain but never actually doing anything to change it. As if it was a reward of some kind, the harder we worked and the busier we were, the more complete our lives, our days and perhaps, we were.

Even though this seemed to be the norm, how everyone lived, my body was quickly showing signs this was so not the way to truly live and to continue this way would reduce the level of vitality and quality which I was giving to not only myself but also to others. My body felt like it could only run like this for so long. I could feel it deteriorating slowly, each day more aches, a deeper level of frustration and resentment at the lack of time there was for me to get done all I thought was needed to be done. A merry-go round that felt like it was speeding up, with no end in sight.

Old age was looking pretty dismal and painful if I continued to choose to live in the overwhelm and busy-ness of life. Time was constantly eluding me and I felt like I was never going to catch up.

As a woman who loved to be busy, slowing down was not easy, taking time to prioritise, feeling what was needed and learning to say no took a long time.

Life was and still is full, but with the new choices I now make, by learning to be aware of where I am at, not taking things on unnecessarily, asking for support, and feeling what is needed, my body feels lighter; it no longer carries the burden of “what’s next.”

I now stop to feel how the choices I make impact my body and the flow of my day. Considering if there is a flow – or a drive, a push to achieve, complete or tick the boxes.

It took time, and I am by no means done, nor will I ever be perfect, but I continue to look back on my life, where I was and where I am today, how much more alive, vital, gentle, tender and loving I am with not only myself but also with everyone around me.

With the ongoing love and support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I have been given the tools to make different choices, to be more loving, to not be afraid to ask for help, or to say no, building a level of consistency in my day, my life and my body. Knowing my life, who I am, is not gauged by what I do or complete but by the quality in which I choose to live.

It is this quality I am forever developing and deepening that has allowed me to be the keeper of time, and not time be the keeper of me.

No longer running against the clock, time now comes to me; I am able to complete more in a day than ever before, with more vitality and Love.

By Nicole Serafin, Age 45, Tintenbar, NSW

Related Reading:
Let’s Challenge the Time Tyrant
How to Avoid Feeling Overwhelmed
Time: How I Changed my Relationship with the Invisible Tyrant

542 thoughts on “Time, Life and Me – Now One and the Same

  1. time being the keeper of us rather than the other way around that is huge and I feel the depth offered here, that it’s about the quality of how we are, and the flow and if we go beyond this we become exhausted and overwhelmed. At this point surprisingly or not I’d have to say thank God for exhaustion for it’s a way for us to see and consider that we’ve left the flow, that we’ve left our quality, and why would we do something without either.

  2. After pushing my body over the last fews days I am really feeling it is about quality and not quantity (e.g. how much we can squeeze into the day).

  3. It is amazing when you start to honour your body more through the day without compromising your other commitments just how much space begins to open up.

    1. I find that the moment I try to fit everything in or do things quickly because of not enough time my body goes racy and I usually end up making mistakes and what I am doing therefore takes a lot longer. Whereas when I stay with myself space opens up and I have the time to do what is needed. It is amazing the difference when we stay with our bodies and do not compromise the quality of what we are doing.

  4. The one thing I know about me time is the more I get it, the more I crave more, but still never feel like I have had enough me time…. I also now know it is about being me in all I do and then all my time is the new type of me time….

  5. A former ‘stress head’ I now know what is feels like to live without the fear of how things should be or we wish them to be. By allowing myself to be less judgmental and hard on myself was the biggest stepping stone in the right direction that now allows me the joy to feel and trust that all will be done and what is needed at each moment.

  6. “It is this quality I am forever developing and deepening that has allowed me to be the keeper of time, and not time be the keeper of me.” It is in the deepening and understanding of energy and its quality that we also let go of perfection and make life more about growth and understanding, which then makes life more about surrender and not tension too.

  7. This really needs to be global headline. Woman finds true answer to doing too much. I reckon almost every women in the world would read it.

  8. I often wonder where the belief that “the harder we worked and the busier we were, the more complete our lives, our days and perhaps, we were” came from. It is a belief that so many of us allow to run our lives but as you, and I, experienced it often ends up simply running us into the ground. If we were to make the choice to live in harmony with our body and listen to its very wise messages there would be absolutely no way we could live and work like that but as you have discovered, we can still get so much done, and our body will not be harmed in the process

  9. In the past I always made it about time and never the quality in which I would be. There is a world of difference when we choose and express our true quality which is a powerful reflection for others to choose that for themselves too.

  10. I feel stressed when I think I don’t have enough time. But when I am connected to myself and what I do, time doesn’t seem to matter so much anymore.

  11. I am forever discovering just what can be achieved in a day if I allow he day to go with the flow of it. Not only are the things completed that were there to be done, but others will present and be done with no stress or bother. This is so different to how I too used to live and to live this way feels so supportive, not only of my self, but also of others.

  12. Judging our day based on how much we get done is a common one for most of us. I sometimes catch myself feeling that I am ‘not getting anywhere’ just because I am not powering through my ‘to do’ list! The crazy thing is we are never getting anywhere, we just keep spinning round in the same cycles.

    1. Yes Fiona… very true. We can give ourselves a pat on the back or a bash on the head depending on how much we get done or not – but all along we are simply going around, and around and around. How pointless the bashing and patting actually is….

    2. So true Fiona. I find it fascinating quite how many pictures and ideals I have about what and/or how much I should be doing. As soon as I let these take over what I end up doing usually has to be redone or mistakes have been made so problems come back later. Whereas when I let go of needing to do anything I find suddenly everything somehow gets done!

  13. The ‘to do list’ is always there to keep us striving onto the next task and feeling less for not achieving the chores listed. Many years ago I used to have a ‘to do list’ but soon realised that there was always too many things on this list and if anything came up unexpectedly I would feel stressed. So now I don’t bother with lists.

    1. I have to have lists at work otherwise I’d be constantly trying to remember everything I needed to do. What I realised relatively recently was that there was a constant anxiety within me because I was always driving to get to the end of the list. But this can not and will never happen for as soon as one thing is ticked off, more get added. It was in the moment I realised I need to accept that there will always be things that need to be done and if I focus on the quality of how I do something instead of trying to just tick things off, that is all that is needed.

  14. It is sad to see that most people live in the exhausted running against the clock way that you describe Nicole. I certainly did. We create the war zones within ourselves well before any war zones take place outside of us in faraway countries – and not so faraway ones. The overemphasis on doing and achieving at the expense of the quality of our being takes a huge toll on the human body that is not made to be a functioning tool that ticks as many boxes as possible. We are made to live and be in a harmonious flow, swimming with the tide of time and not against it. And ironically when we do, we feel so much more vital and alive, so much more clear and focused and as you say, we do actually get so much more done. But without the attachment and glorification of how much we get done.

  15. ” It is this quality I am forever developing and deepening that has allowed me to be the keeper of time, and not time be the keeper of me. ” Wow this is awesome , going from been the doer and under the command of time , to been the master of time, so wonderful, thank you for sharing Nicole.

  16. “Knowing my life, who I am, is not gauged by what I do or complete but by the quality in which I choose to live” – so true, and although i always knew or connected with [fine] ‘quality’ I connected it with being a ‘quality over quantity’ in regards to ‘less being more’ no to excess through cheapness of quality and so on… and related quality all to things, like clothes, food, items, product brands, education and so on. Connecting to quality in the most recent years as something that comes from within the body first to infuse what is then bought, consumed, eaten, worn etc. has totally changed my life – i.e. quality is not purchased, but lived first to then purchase that will then be of quality.

  17. We can still be superwoman or superman, but this doesn’t mean completing the most tasks or being the most ‘productive’, and is instead all to do with our quality. Do we bring the super-us into EVERY relationship, task, moment and day?

  18. I started off today wishing that I had more time but by the end of the day I feel that I have been able to create the space that I needed so that time became irrelevant.

  19. “I now stop to feel how the choices I make impact my body and the flow of my day.” Yes I find the power in a stop moment can not only bring great awareness to how we move but also in what quality am I then bringing to my movements thereafter. Awareness can offer so much food for thought and an opportunity to deepen our connection and explore what it means to move with love and care as our foundational path.

  20. Nicole I find it fascinating that we never seem to question our lives and how we are living them. We just seem to go along with what main stream society tells us is the way. A sort of ‘heads down bum up’ attitude.
    I was totally lost in this way of living. With the support of the Benhayon family and Universal Medicine I have totally transformed how I live. I live the way I want to live which is quite simple and uncomplicated. This way of life has given me more space and I’m no longer rushing around trying to fit everything into a day and wishing I had more hours. I have so much space and everything gets accomplished just without the stress of rushing. It’s so worth the effort to make those changes in my life to get to this way of life. I wish I had done this sooner.

  21. Last night I spoke to a friend who was in a different time zone that was one hour behind. I said how I wanted another hour in the day. This did not come from me feeling tired and needing more time to do things, it came from there being so much to do in life and a joy in being in life, that I wanted more of it. It was a lovely moment to feel how committed I am to life.

  22. I find that I can slip into trying to fulfill the expectations of others even if they are unspoken and/or unrealistic. The moment I do I feel exhausted. When I stay in my rhythm and flow I am no longer at the mercy of time.

  23. ‘ Knowing my life, who I am, is not gauged by what I do or complete but by the quality in which I choose to live.’ And our body is the great marker of the quality that we are living. To feel my body harden when I am not being and living Love, and then expand and deepen when I connect and surrender to the infinite Grace and Love I truly am is the greatest learning.

  24. It makes sense to me to put the quality in what we’re doing as the priority otherwise what is it that we are getting done? As in what kind of imprint are we leaving behind that ripples out into the world and affects us all in one way or another…

  25. Nicole that is great. I know for me I get caught in time when I am wanting something, or things to change without actually 1st taking the steps myself. The moment I project out that I want something my focus narrows and it is all about that which means not only do I miss out on everything around me I also get impatient and the tension builds with the desire to attain it. Whereas when I stay with myself, deepen my connection within then what is next comes to me without me needing to go out and grab it!

  26. We really have got it all wrong haven’t we, we are all judge on how quick we can do something its all results driven yet we miss the most important thing – Quality.

  27. To let go of the chase of doing more and more to feel enough, to focus on the quality of my movements is indeed a relief and the antidote to being exhausted.

  28. ‘to be the keeper of time, and not time be the keeper of me.’ is something to always keep with us. When we are the keeper of time we are with ourselves and go for quality, the moment we let the outside world determine what we should do and all our ideals and beliefs that come with that, time becomes our keeper and we will never feel we have done enough.

  29. I am learning to let go of this once very strong pattern, ‘I placed a level of judgment and criticism on myself, constantly taking on more, never saying no, forever wanting to complete yet another round of ‘doing.’

  30. I can definitely relate to the mindset that squeezing more into a certain period of time is a measure of greater success, when actually this completely ignores QUALITY; the defining factor of whether all of the activity and work we do during the day is truly contributing to our community or project.

  31. What a turn around Nicole – this is such a difference in getting caught up with time which is so common in how we are choosing to live. I used to be very caught in time and thought that was how it was going to be. But once we start to factor in quality – then things really shift, because the focus shifts. It is no longer about how much but rather just about the how.

  32. I now appreciate the awareness I have within my choices made and how each new choice not only offers me a pause to feel if it will support me moving forward but also if my next movement will then show if I am moving in rhythm with my body or in drive. It’s really beautiful to be able to feel the quality of our movements when we are flowing from our choices and our bodies natural rhythm too.

  33. I can completely relate with what you have shared over the last few weeks .. or even months life/work seems to have intensified and got very busy. I got caught up in this however, my body soon told me a similar thing if I carried on like this my body would not be able to cope so now I am starting to discern more what I am saying yes to in my life along with taking stock of the quality, love and care I have for myself.

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