Time, Life and Me – Now One and the Same

How often do we say “I don’t have time,” “If only there were more hours in the day,” or “I need time for me, everything I do is for everyone else”?

Common, tiring and ever so draining, constantly wanting more time, never feeling there are enough hours in the day to fit everything in. Our lives are so full of things to do and places to be, it makes sense we feel this way.

I can totally relate to all of this, as in the past I used to squeeze as much as possible into a day. Looking back, my days were gauged by how ‘good’ they were based on how much was achieved or completed.

I was absolutely exhausted, completely overwhelmed and at times enormously frustrated: ticking the boxes and getting everything done, never stopping to consider the quality in which things were being done, and how I was in each moment or the impact this had on my body.

It was more important to get the job done than to consider how it left me feeling, overdoing it, straining myself or pushing myself past the point of exhaustion purely to make my day look like it was a ‘good’ day: I was a martyr, a superwoman, the envy of all women, all at the expense of myself.

Mentally and physically exhausted from choices I made on a daily basis, my body was aching, bloating and sore, my head constantly full of thoughts of what was next, what hadn’t been done, what needed to be done or what was done but wasn’t done well enough; I was completely drained.

I placed a level of judgment and criticism on myself, constantly taking on more, never saying no, forever wanting to complete yet another round of ‘doing.’

Nobody ever questioned why life was like this, living in a state of overwhelm, a constant feeling like there was never enough time in the day to get things done, all part of life, a cycle you could say that was never ending.

Accepted by many, including myself for a very long time, albeit begrudgingly, but nonetheless we seemed to partake in it, using any opportunity to complain but never actually doing anything to change it. As if it was a reward of some kind, the harder we worked and the busier we were, the more complete our lives, our days and perhaps, we were.

Even though this seemed to be the norm, how everyone lived, my body was quickly showing signs this was so not the way to truly live and to continue this way would reduce the level of vitality and quality which I was giving to not only myself but also to others. My body felt like it could only run like this for so long. I could feel it deteriorating slowly, each day more aches, a deeper level of frustration and resentment at the lack of time there was for me to get done all I thought was needed to be done. A merry-go round that felt like it was speeding up, with no end in sight.

Old age was looking pretty dismal and painful if I continued to choose to live in the overwhelm and busy-ness of life. Time was constantly eluding me and I felt like I was never going to catch up.

As a woman who loved to be busy, slowing down was not easy, taking time to prioritise, feeling what was needed and learning to say no took a long time.

Life was and still is full, but with the new choices I now make, by learning to be aware of where I am at, not taking things on unnecessarily, asking for support, and feeling what is needed, my body feels lighter; it no longer carries the burden of “what’s next.”

I now stop to feel how the choices I make impact my body and the flow of my day. Considering if there is a flow – or a drive, a push to achieve, complete or tick the boxes.

It took time, and I am by no means done, nor will I ever be perfect, but I continue to look back on my life, where I was and where I am today, how much more alive, vital, gentle, tender and loving I am with not only myself but also with everyone around me.

With the ongoing love and support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I have been given the tools to make different choices, to be more loving, to not be afraid to ask for help, or to say no, building a level of consistency in my day, my life and my body. Knowing my life, who I am, is not gauged by what I do or complete but by the quality in which I choose to live.

It is this quality I am forever developing and deepening that has allowed me to be the keeper of time, and not time be the keeper of me.

No longer running against the clock, time now comes to me; I am able to complete more in a day than ever before, with more vitality and Love.

By Nicole Serafin, Age 45, Tintenbar, NSW

Related Reading:
Let’s Challenge the Time Tyrant
How to Avoid Feeling Overwhelmed
Time: How I Changed my Relationship with the Invisible Tyrant

670 thoughts on “Time, Life and Me – Now One and the Same

  1. This sentence stood out to me, that you were “the envy of all women”. We as women look at productivity and what we are doing and we clock someone who is very good at doing things and compare ourselves with that. Yet we don’t look at the whole picture, often we don’t know how the other person is truly feeling inside themselves and how tired or vital they are really feeling. Therefore it is so important to start looking at the whole picture and not at the part we like or don’t like so we can be more real with ourselves and others and not bash ourselves because we can’t do it all or are not perfect.

  2. It’s been great to experiment recently with feeling what to do, and when to do it, based on a sense from my body, and not a picture from my mind about what I think I ‘should’ do. When I live life like that, things naturally flow and fall into place, with no push, drive or subsequent numbness, and life feels a lot fuller, richer – because I feel connected to what I feel, and so also to others.

  3. When we live in drive, constantly chasing time exhaustion is always chomping at our heels and sleep and shutting down seems really appealing. I have noticed there is a much greater propensity to giving up just so we can have a break.

  4. As I sit here quite tired and drained from a very busy time at work, this is a timely blog to read. I will sit with this and see what support and no’s I may need to do.

  5. I once considered my home to be my sanctuary, where I retreated to at the end of each day for peace and tranquility Now my sanctuary is harmonious body that is with me regardless of where I am.

  6. I remember a time when I worked full-time, was in overwhelm, in the doing and fast forwarding constantly. It was brought to a head when I crashed into a underground car park barrier, A big stop, I didn’t even see it.
    When we’re in our heads and rush of busyness, life passes us by and we miss much of its treasures.

  7. “Looking back, my days were gauged by how ‘good’ they were based on how much was achieved or completed” – totally Nicole, and I/one would feel a sense of accomplishment or success. Today and having explored the issue of inner quality [over quantity] and sustaining this essence, the feeling you receive when what you do is done in that quality that has respected, not exhausted you or left you ragged and un-satiated, but instead vital, full, complete and with more capacity and energy than before – is unbeatable.

  8. I realised reading this that when I am completely fixated on getting things done (box ticking), forgoing connection with my body and connection with others, it is no different to a business person making their work all about money and not people. We are all getting something out of it… whether it is a reward, the illusion of self-worth, acknowledgement, a badge of honour, an excuse, to hide or get ahead. It’s competing against time, other women or men, pictures, beliefs and ideals without realising how damaging that is to our bodies that are pure love. This way of living is foreign to our body but we have made it completely normal even expected and championed.

  9. Life is certainly different when we don’t race against time, staying connected to the body and be present with everything we do we get to experience a feeling of space and simplicity that doesn’t drain or exhaust the body in anyway.

  10. I find I lose the time in the day when thinking about past moments and/or future possible moments that I don’t recognise the space I have available to me right now.

  11. Simply feeling what is needed in every moment, rather than running myself ragged, pushed on mercilessly by an endless to do list that runs in my head, is showing me how I can live a full life without feeling like I am always playing catch up whilst on my knees in exhaustion. It feels like an ongoing and inspiring change.

  12. Its so interesting when I take the drive out of the day, forcing things at a pace that is unnatural. It’s exhausting!. Bring a little bit of space in to the day, a chance to wind down before bed and some self care in the morning before everything gets underway and suddenly the day ahead looks like a sea of endless opportunity!

  13. Wow, this is wonderful. Simply being so clear and open to see what is going on and what has come between you and time.. Or better said; what we have used to tear us down and not evolve us. Gorgeous reminder of what we are capable of when we stand in our own power.

  14. It never ceases to amaze me how much I can get done when I move in connection with my body and don’t have endless to-do lists rattling around in my head. It is as though I have switched over into another dimension – and in truth, that is exactly what happens.

  15. Allowing ourselves to receive life rather than running after it brings a whole lot more space into our day

    1. Beautiful Elizabeth. To pursue life is fraught with problems, brings complication and exhaustion, not space.

  16. ‘How good’ something is, is a measure based on time. Whereas ‘how true’ something is, is a measure based on space. We live in the tension of wanting the ‘good’ over the ‘bad’ and thus become slaves to time, when we could be living more of what is true and thus opening up more space through which to express this.

    1. Summed up beautifully Liane, when we run ourselves on time we’re continually clocking ‘have we done enough’ or ‘that’s nothing, there’s so much more to do’. Are we not just self-bashing ourselves every time we think we have done something good or bad? We think good is good but if there is a good then there is a bad, so they are the same. Feeling if something is true engages the body, whereas measuring if something is good or bad keeps us mentally looking at life and in our heads.

  17. This is a very ‘timely’ read for me and definitely a blog that I could easily enjoy reading again and again.

  18. We were not born with a watch on our wrist as we are not designed to fit into time in any way, but rather to be guided to live by the quality of our Soul, where the steps we take are in the fullness of who we are knowing that every step made is one that is not only honouring the Soulful light for who we are, but in honor of who we all are in essence. As such the way we live is truly purposeful as we are moved by a quality that represents that quality we are from, and our movements are precisely what is called for to bring and reflect the absoluteness of love that is needed in that moment.

    1. I love this Carola. Interestingly, the traditional watches we wear mark the movement of a hand across a circular dial indicating that we know we live in cycles and thus are bound by the universal (and not human created) laws that pertain to our spherical nature. However, then came digital display and this suited our more lineal perception of life that counts a movement from A to B, and not B returning to A, thus giving us an excuse to ‘leave it all behind’ and ignore the fact that we carry it all with us until we are able to live free from it. The ‘it’ here being the baggage we carry when the movements we make (the way we live, think, speak and act) do not come from our innermost self, a source that is pure love.

    2. I love how you say we are not born with a watch. It shows so clearly how we are made into the human being we then become, but in truth we are already all that we are when we are born and simply need the permission and support to unfold that who we are into human life.

  19. The resentment of doing everything for everyone else is do draining on our body and so unpleasant to be on the receiving end of. It is better to walk away and not ‘do’ for others if it cannot be done without the bitterness and resentment that builds up from trying to offer others what we are not doing for ourselves.

  20. Looking for alone time or ‘me time’ is one of the biggest traps I see in the way we live these days. For many of us there is no ‘me time’ as we are either at work with colleagues or at home with the family or friends. Me time has to be a way of living all the time. It is putting your body and what it needs first and getting everything done in your day with consideration and respect of your body. Then you don’t become drained exhausted and overwhelmed.

    1. I find the scramble for the me time or the trying to catch up with life after me time is exhausting more than being with people. When I want to be an individual it takes a lot of energy.

      1. It helps to not to separate me time and life. When we hold ourselves fully and are present with ourselves it all becomes one, we are the same regardless of time and place.

      2. ‘Me time’ is often considered as somewhere we tuck ourselves away from the rest of life. But when it is a part of life then it all works out.

      3. Yes Leigh, it’s an illusion to think we can hide away from the rest of life, we carry all life within ourselves.

  21. Being busy is a way of life that we choose to escape from ourselves and what is to be felt within ourselves. If we are always on the move we will never be still enough to be confronted by how we are, what we are missing and the tension inside that is calling us back to who we are.

    1. It is very true Carolien, that we do actually seek an escape in busyness, and being honest with this is what exposes the big lie that we subscribe to that it is all about being good, being acknowledged and appreciated and even that we are loved more. Not always something that we want to admit and feel, however our bodies always do tell the truth of how we are living, with the tension that presents as a result and with good reason. The beautiful thing about this, if we are willing to be open and honest with what is presented, is our bodies will also always guide us in how we can return to live in honor of the love we already and naturally are within.

      1. If we get to stop for just a moment, really stop, arrest the striving for love and acceptance as you say Carola, then the voice of the body can be heard once again and if this happens long or often enough we may start to listen and from there the way back is lit from our hearts

  22. This is amazing Nicole, so refreshing to read about your experience. Not many people can claim to feel the way you do and it is truly worth celebrating when we feel incredible in life, we need more people like you in our world to reflect how natural it is to feel amazing, vital and loving.

  23. Time is a real hook, as is the idea we can race against time to fill up the day with as much as possible. Changing this pattern to making the day about the quality I bring, instead of how much I do, is something I am working on, and what I have uncovered is the huge amount of anxiety that can go with the to-do list.

    1. True Melinda, with a to-do list anxiety is guaranteed and a to-do list will always be a to-do list in the sense of there is never nothing on it so why not get away with this list and do things when they come up, so we don’t have to think what is next but that it is given to us.

  24. A very good example this blog is for showing us that we live on energy and that this energy is determined by our quality of choice : connected to our body or not. So it shows that with connection we are actually naturally more vital and instantly feel more of ourselves by truth (that is love).

  25. No longer running against the clock is an instant stress buster, as it is so different to being connected and moving with your body, being in the flow, moving on easily to the next thing, all in a harmonious way, so that come the end of the day, one is ready for bed but not exhausted.

    1. It is amazing when we are no longer being governed by time but living the spaciousness and simplicity that supports our whole being and everyone around us.

  26. “I was absolutely exhausted, completely overwhelmed and at times enormously frustrated”. This is what happens when I live based on time and trying to tick as many boxes as I can. Trying to fit everything into neat boxes to feel good about yourself is the illusion that keeps you on this hamster wheel. On days when I am not attached to what I get done and instead feel the space and quality within me, I enjoy my day and it doesn’t feel so rushed or tired.

  27. I remember when I was young and working 60 to 80 hours a week and always being in motion. When I had to stop and rest it was virtually impossible for me. Today I see teenagers with the same problem, they are trying to stay busy every waking moment to their absolute detriment. It is high time 😉 that we relearn what it is to just be with ourselves again and do what we have to do from there so that the generations that follow us are not forced down the same path.

    1. Staying busy indeed seems to be the norm, for me back then and what I see around me now. The way out is indeed by going in: re-learning to be with ourselves again, re-connect and from there feel what is truely needed. I can now feel when the busi-ness takes over. Through the connection with my body I can stop myself and then feel what is going on and then ask myself: what is needed?

      1. Yes and in the connection I actually get so much more done then when I adjust being busy or in the ‘so much to do’ mode. It is not about how much we do but the quality we do it in and like you Caroline I am now able to distinguish one quality form another giving me the choice.

  28. We think we are all squeezed for space but my experience is we are actively fighting simplicity and letting life be as it is. We embellish and enlarge tasks when there is no need but most of all when we live in an energy that is not true it causes extra complexity whatever we do. Quality is the biggest issue then that we have, not time.

    1. SO true Joseph, we often think time is our enemy but it isn’t really is it? It is the quality of our movements and expression that is what is causing us to feel stressed, overwhelmed, exhausted and feeling lifeless.

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