How often do we say “I don’t have time,” “If only there were more hours in the day,” or “I need time for me, everything I do is for everyone else”?
Common, tiring and ever so draining, constantly wanting more time, never feeling there are enough hours in the day to fit everything in. Our lives are so full of things to do and places to be, it makes sense we feel this way.
I can totally relate to all of this, as in the past I used to squeeze as much as possible into a day. Looking back, my days were gauged by how ‘good’ they were based on how much was achieved or completed.
I was absolutely exhausted, completely overwhelmed and at times enormously frustrated: ticking the boxes and getting everything done, never stopping to consider the quality in which things were being done, and how I was in each moment or the impact this had on my body.
It was more important to get the job done than to consider how it left me feeling, overdoing it, straining myself or pushing myself past the point of exhaustion purely to make my day look like it was a ‘good’ day: I was a martyr, a superwoman, the envy of all women, all at the expense of myself.
Mentally and physically exhausted from choices I made on a daily basis, my body was aching, bloating and sore, my head constantly full of thoughts of what was next, what hadn’t been done, what needed to be done or what was done but wasn’t done well enough; I was completely drained.
I placed a level of judgment and criticism on myself, constantly taking on more, never saying no, forever wanting to complete yet another round of ‘doing.’
Nobody ever questioned why life was like this, living in a state of overwhelm, a constant feeling like there was never enough time in the day to get things done, all part of life, a cycle you could say that was never ending.
Accepted by many, including myself for a very long time, albeit begrudgingly, but nonetheless we seemed to partake in it, using any opportunity to complain but never actually doing anything to change it. As if it was a reward of some kind, the harder we worked and the busier we were, the more complete our lives, our days and perhaps, we were.
Even though this seemed to be the norm, how everyone lived, my body was quickly showing signs this was so not the way to truly live and to continue this way would reduce the level of vitality and quality which I was giving to not only myself but also to others. My body felt like it could only run like this for so long. I could feel it deteriorating slowly, each day more aches, a deeper level of frustration and resentment at the lack of time there was for me to get done all I thought was needed to be done. A merry-go round that felt like it was speeding up, with no end in sight.
Old age was looking pretty dismal and painful if I continued to choose to live in the overwhelm and busy-ness of life. Time was constantly eluding me and I felt like I was never going to catch up.
As a woman who loved to be busy, slowing down was not easy, taking time to prioritise, feeling what was needed and learning to say no took a long time.
Life was and still is full, but with the new choices I now make, by learning to be aware of where I am at, not taking things on unnecessarily, asking for support, and feeling what is needed, my body feels lighter; it no longer carries the burden of “what’s next.”
I now stop to feel how the choices I make impact my body and the flow of my day. Considering if there is a flow – or a drive, a push to achieve, complete or tick the boxes.
It took time, and I am by no means done, nor will I ever be perfect, but I continue to look back on my life, where I was and where I am today, how much more alive, vital, gentle, tender and loving I am with not only myself but also with everyone around me.
With the ongoing love and support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I have been given the tools to make different choices, to be more loving, to not be afraid to ask for help, or to say no, building a level of consistency in my day, my life and my body. Knowing my life, who I am, is not gauged by what I do or complete but by the quality in which I choose to live.
It is this quality I am forever developing and deepening that has allowed me to be the keeper of time, and not time be the keeper of me.
No longer running against the clock, time now comes to me; I am able to complete more in a day than ever before, with more vitality and Love.
By Nicole Serafin, Age 45, Tintenbar, NSW