Growing Old Beautifully and Looking Back with Understanding

If someone had told me when I was younger that I would feel more beautiful in my fifties than ever before, I would have scoffed derisively.

In ‘those days’ – from childhood to 40 – my relationship with my body was based entirely on how it looked and whether it met the grade of whatever aesthetic and fashion standard was set at the time. This in itself was an exhausting exercise, being ever at the mercy of the latest trends and ‘must looks.’

Looking back now I consider this one of the meanest set ups in society: the ever-changing set of rules about how we must look, that leaves most of us not ‘in.’

Looking back, I also see how unanchored I was, having little to no relationship with myself on which to build a sense of who I was and what my purpose in life could possibly be.  

Looking back, I realise that most of the people around me were just as unsure and at the mercy of social pressures and the norms dictated by statistical commonality.

Looking back, I understand how this striving for some external perfection keeps us in competition, comparison and separation from one another, sizing each other up to see how close to the mark any one of us has got. 

Looking back, this is another cruel set up that keeps us at arm’s length from the very thing that breaks these beliefs and strangleholds… honesty, openness, connection, communication and relationship.

So, for much of my life I felt out of sorts and at times really desolate, knowing that this way of living made no sense.

In 2006 I met Serge Benhayon at an informal evening event in London, heard him speak, spoke to him a lot over the next months and years and in the safe hands of a building community that was opening up and practising honesty, came to hear what I had always known… we are beautifully, inextricably in relationship with one another and that there are no mysteries to life, only the veils we have laid over simplicity and truth.

I did not learn anything new working with Serge, but I got to unearth and began to access everything I had always innately known. What Serge and Universal Medicine have done is to offer a foundation upon which we can build ourselves back to our innate potential.

If this sounds off track from where I started, the point is that the way I was living (in absence from myself), meant that my behaviour and choices were governed by external rules, expectations and ‘shoulds.’ I am now developing a relationship with life from the inside out: I am me, in the world, understanding my purpose and responsibility – the part I play in a much bigger picture in which we are all so beautifully connected.

There is a sureness in this that means I enjoy being me, which has the gorgeous side effect of my enjoying the way I look, expressing myself with clothes, make up, in my house, at work…

I take really good care of myself these days, ensuring the basics of responsible self-care are sustained:

  • Staying hydrated
  • Resting well
  • Going to the toilet when my body asks to
  • Eating in conversation with my body, listening to its signals
  • Bringing awareness to my posture and how I am holding myself

and then adding some finer details:

  • Being super respectful in my relationships
  • Letting myself love and be loved
  • Exploring humility and the learning opportunities on offer when I make mistakes.

It is amazing and remarkable for me to say I feel beautiful at fifty and that I am looking forward to whatever lies ahead; growing old gracefully alongside a lot of very inspiring men and women in my life.

By Matilda Bathurst, Primary School Teacher, Nurse and Midwife, UK­

Related Reading:
‘The Joy of Ageing, Esoterically’
On the Shelf or Embracing Life?
Sexiness in the Older Woman – not Related to Age, Sex or Good Looks!

855 thoughts on “Growing Old Beautifully and Looking Back with Understanding

  1. That we have accepted a way of living that is in complete opposition to the divinity of who we innately are, is an exploitation of the power we all hold to live the sacredness that we are born to live here on earth. This sacredness never changes regardless of our age or gender. We have the choice to reclaim all the standards that we have set and imposed on us as to what it means to be an ‘accepted’ part of society and how we are expected to behave for us to belong. Whereas we already do belong to a stupendously greater whole, and in understanding and embracing our innate divinity and interdependence we reflect this lived truth for all others to see and feel.

  2. It is quite a set up really, from an early age we are shown and encouraged that if you are beautiful, pretty or attractive, you will have a head start in life and people will like you, and because of our looks we will meet the right partner and all this will contribute to a successful life….so we learn to rely heavily on our looks rather than how we are feeling inside. This then leads to comparison which continues throughout our life, comparing what we do have against what we don’t have, so that by the time we get to old age we look in the mirror and look at the physical features but not the true beauty that lies within and we don’t always honour or reflect this in our elder years.

  3. “Looking back now I consider this one of the meanest set ups in society: the ever-changing set of rules about how we must look, that leaves most of us not ‘in.” . . .this a deliberate attempt to keep women down and insecure about themselves. It is such a relief when we see through this ploy and know that being ourselves is more than enough in fact it is what the world fears the most for a woman in her power is a woman to be reckoned with as she is not going to accept anything less than love and she will not be manipulated or controlled.

  4. It’s a choice to either feel gorgeous, absolute, lovely, amazing, delicious and more amazing qualities. Or you can choose to feel everything that is not these qualities including heavy, hard, indulgent, abusive, only human and more.

  5. As I have grown older I have started to look after myself more, from simply allowing myself more time and not rushing, to understanding that comparison gets us nowhere, and through many self loving choices I now have more contentment and confidence within myself.

  6. It is a great evil that we are sold a picture of how we should be and then spend our lives trying to squeeze ourselves into it. Is this not how reductionism works? The majesty of the Universe reduced to an isolated and barely functioning part that cannot remember the glorious Whole it has separated from.

  7. It is a wonderful thing to allow yourself to be loved. It is a loving work in progress for me. I love quite freely and I know people love me and that I am loved, but too allow myself to really let that love in, is not always so easy for me. Slowly but surely. It reminds me of a time going through some cards once and reading one from my sister and I allowed myself to feel how much she loved me, and I rang her and I was like, you really love me don’t you, and she was like, yep. More of that Sarah x

  8. I have just spent some time with two women I went through high school with, one I hadn’t seen for 35 years. The most delightful realisation that we all had was that even though we all look a little different, courtesy of wrinkles and grey hair etc, when we were sitting there together it felt as if no time had passed. I could feel, and shared, that this was because in our essence we were still those gorgeous 13-16 year old girls who had connected at such a deep level time had no meaning. It confirmed for me that it doesn’t matter how old I am and what I look like on the outside, if I am connected to my essence and feeling joyful on the inside this is what will be reflected to all those around me.

  9. ‘ I am now developing a relationship with life from the inside out ‘ yes and I find how life transforming this is. More and more living by my inner guidance and the guidance of my body rather than being ruled by the should and expectations from outside.

  10. “Looking back, I also see how unanchored I was, having little to no relationship with myself on which to build a sense of who I was and what my purpose in life could possibly be.” I can relate to this Matilda, that deep down I was unanchored and did not have a true relationship with myself until I met Serge Benhayon and attended the incredible presentations and workshop. To cover this up I would lie to myself that I was fine and would outwardly seem confident but this was built on an arrogance of pretending I knew who I was and controlling life to make sure the lie was not uncovered. Looking back I can see how much I was missing out on life, not really participating by being comfortable in my own little bubble.

  11. Meeting Serge Benhayon and attending Universal Medicine presentations is the best thing I have ever done in my life. I am more with me and also more open with others and definitely have more understanding. Making new lifestyle choices is a no brainer as far as I’m concerned.

  12. This is great Matilda, and may I add that when we also have conversations at the dinner table as well as; “Eating in conversation with my body, listening to its signals” we can expand our awareness and evolve through the discussions that are developing our understanding of life.

  13. Those lines on our faces are lived lines showing another that what is offered in our bodies as we age is a reflection of the experiences that shares what truly supports one to live the vitality and joy that is on offer.

    1. These wise lines are lines of appreciation of what has been lived and shared for future generations to feel and hear.

  14. Matilda this is a powerful sharing of how we can gracefully and beautifully age when we let go of pictures and ideals, embracing the ageing process is a cycle that is rich and full of wisdom and elder energy that is deeply inspiring for us all.

  15. The more we look in our eyes each time to face a mirror and stop to appreciate what we have lived and what chooses we now make brings out the true beauty we are all seeking from the outside that so naturally reside from within.

  16. It is so important to reflect on the past so we can let go of what does not support us to make way for new ways that allow us to live our potential more and more.

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