Growing Old Beautifully and Looking Back with Understanding

If someone had told me when I was younger that I would feel more beautiful in my fifties than ever before, I would have scoffed derisively.

In ‘those days’ – from childhood to 40 – my relationship with my body was based entirely on how it looked and whether it met the grade of whatever aesthetic and fashion standard was set at the time. This in itself was an exhausting exercise, being ever at the mercy of the latest trends and ‘must looks.’

Looking back now I consider this one of the meanest set ups in society: the ever-changing set of rules about how we must look, that leaves most of us not ‘in.’

Looking back, I also see how unanchored I was, having little to no relationship with myself on which to build a sense of who I was and what my purpose in life could possibly be.  

Looking back, I realise that most of the people around me were just as unsure and at the mercy of social pressures and the norms dictated by statistical commonality.

Looking back, I understand how this striving for some external perfection keeps us in competition, comparison and separation from one another, sizing each other up to see how close to the mark any one of us has got. 

Looking back, this is another cruel set up that keeps us at arm’s length from the very thing that breaks these beliefs and strangleholds… honesty, openness, connection, communication and relationship.

So, for much of my life I felt out of sorts and at times really desolate, knowing that this way of living made no sense.

In 2006 I met Serge Benhayon at an informal evening event in London, heard him speak, spoke to him a lot over the next months and years and in the safe hands of a building community that was opening up and practising honesty, came to hear what I had always known… we are beautifully, inextricably in relationship with one another and that there are no mysteries to life, only the veils we have laid over simplicity and truth.

I did not learn anything new working with Serge, but I got to unearth and began to access everything I had always innately known. What Serge and Universal Medicine have done is to offer a foundation upon which we can build ourselves back to our innate potential.

If this sounds off track from where I started, the point is that the way I was living (in absence from myself), meant that my behaviour and choices were governed by external rules, expectations and ‘shoulds.’ I am now developing a relationship with life from the inside out: I am me, in the world, understanding my purpose and responsibility – the part I play in a much bigger picture in which we are all so beautifully connected.

There is a sureness in this that means I enjoy being me, which has the gorgeous side effect of my enjoying the way I look, expressing myself with clothes, make up, in my house, at work…

I take really good care of myself these days, ensuring the basics of responsible self-care are sustained:

  • Staying hydrated
  • Resting well
  • Going to the toilet when my body asks to
  • Eating in conversation with my body, listening to its signals
  • Bringing awareness to my posture and how I am holding myself

and then adding some finer details:

  • Being super respectful in my relationships
  • Letting myself love and be loved
  • Exploring humility and the learning opportunities on offer when I make mistakes.

It is amazing and remarkable for me to say I feel beautiful at fifty and that I am looking forward to whatever lies ahead; growing old gracefully alongside a lot of very inspiring men and women in my life.

By Matilda Bathurst, Primary School Teacher, Nurse and Midwife, UK­

Related Reading:
‘The Joy of Ageing, Esoterically’
On the Shelf or Embracing Life?
Sexiness in the Older Woman – not Related to Age, Sex or Good Looks!

889 thoughts on “Growing Old Beautifully and Looking Back with Understanding

  1. The mere fact that we can feel the same joyful self that we were when we were younger, despite the apparent ageing of our body, highlights for me the presence of the being inside the human.

  2. Having a belief about what is beautiful will set you up to not beauty.
    Our world is so caught up with comparison when it comes to seeing beauty. But when you compare you are losing the ability to really see what is there.
    For me it requires stopping and checking in with myself, being present with what is going on with me, because this influences how I interrupt what I see. Then just receive what is being offered.
    Thank you Serge Benhayon for supporting me to truly see.

  3. ‘Looking back, I also see how unanchored I was, having little to no relationship with myself on which to build a sense of who I was and what my purpose in life could possibly be.’ And I had no idea that the anchor was inside of me. But while writing this down I felt deep down I knew I had everything I am inside of me but did not know how to live with myself lovingly, as there was nothing in the outside world that confirmed this beautiful anchor inside.

  4. ‘I enjoy being me’ – that’s it, so simple, and so obvious, yet we spend years, if not life times, putting buffers in-between.

  5. If we are not confirmed when we are young as being beautiful just for being the wonderful beings that we are naturally born to be, we will constantly search for someone to approve and recognise what we do not recognise within ourselves. This makes so much sense to me now and I know that if I had this as my foundation as a child I would have been so much more loving and caring towards myself and not felt the need to harden as the false form of protection I now see it to be.

  6. “Looking back, I also see how unanchored I was, having little to no relationship with myself on which to build a sense of who I was and what my purpose in life could possibly be.” I can very much relate to this Matilda not having a strong foundation of knowing who I was or what my purpose in life looked like meant that I would look to the outside world to confirm who I was and how I was meant to be.

  7. Thanks Matilda… It’s not just that for me I feel so much more appreciative of myself that I used to, is also that I actually did not know myself really at all so how could I appreciate what I didn’t know.

  8. Living up to pictures of what we should look like or conduct ourselves means nothing when you find out that your whole life has been built on lies. Every woman should feel their beauty no matter what age or physical appearance.

  9. To spend 40 or 50 years feeling unsure of what is happening is an awful indictment of our education system and what is generally allowed in this world. That would be if it was one person, so the fact it happens to most is truly awful. To then be inspired to see the truth we know inside, to unlock our innate beauty… a priceless gift.

  10. Using the words “old” and “beautiful” in the same sentence is wonderful because it breaks down the belief that we can only be beautiful when we are young.

  11. I agree with what you have said Matilda, that you did not learn anything new with Serge Benhayon and he is the first person to encourage everyone to reach this understanding. Serge Benhayon has always presented that we know everything he knows as we all come from the same place and we do which is why what he presents resonates within our bodies and reignites our own truth.

  12. It is a trend that elderly people are discarded as being useless for society and therefore are not appreciated for the life experience they have to share. And with that behaviour every new generation has the right to make the same mistakes or learnings over and over again and in truth does choose to not evolve back.

  13. That what Serge Benhayon lives and presents is not new, it is the Ageless Wisdom he comes with in every step he makes. So when you meet him you got remembered that we know that too. The only point can be that we are so invested in this life we have created for ourself that we do not like to be disturbed in this activity, heavily react instead and make that what Serge presents ridiculous.

  14. “What Serge and Universal Medicine have done is to offer a foundation upon which we can build ourselves back to our innate potential” – yes what is offered is the return to who we truly are and the love we are from. Through the teachings and support of Universal Medicine I have deeply appreciated the one big swing door that love is; receiving and being open to it [love] together at the same time.

  15. When we make life more about the quality we feel inside ourselves we won’t make it so much about our age but how we have to live to be connected to ourselves and feel that quality. A total game (and life) changer.

    1. And with that we not only live more gracefully for ourselves but bring that same grace into any relationship we engage in.

  16. Life is a preparation for death, from the moment we are born, and death is simply the beginning of a new cycle. So how we live today and now is what guarantees our future and the quality of our lives to come.

  17. Funny how the older I get in years, the more I can appreciate about my body and love myself more – which to me is how it should have been from the word go when I was younger too – but it is never too late to begin to love yourself up.

  18. Yes how beautiful and loving is it to actually start caring for our body again: feeling what it needs, in which ways we can constantly support it and what we do no longer want. How powerful is this instrument when we love it to its detailed signals.

  19. Ageing is not to be feared because in truth it is a wonderful time to allow more of ourselves to come out and be shared with all those around us.

  20. I too made the leap last year into my fifth decade and I have to say I have never felt better or freer. I used to kid myself that I wasn’t affected by trends, fads or pressure from my friends, but I was, and I’m free of most of the vices that kept me from just being me.

  21. I am in my 40’s and most days I feel incredibly beautiful, I catch myself in the mirror and I feel wow awesome…this is not vanity, the is appreciation of the steps I have taken back to me..I see the glow and shine of a life lived with commitment….this is far away form my teens and 20’s when I was insecure and ‘shy’ and so what is beauty….it emanates from a deeper place than just our facial skin and structure and that in itself can change and alter when we choose self love. The love shines out when it is lived.

  22. If we understood that from 40 years onwards we begin to lay the foundation for our next incarnation, we would not get so caught up in regret nor use this as a tactic to further delay our evolution back to Soul.

  23. The benefits of deepening our own self care, to a level of self-nurturing are beyond measure and can only support us to age with appreciation and grace.

  24. The way we look as we get older is directly related to how we choose to live i.e. the choices we make. I know many people who look amazingly better today compared with what they looked like 10 years ago, when surely one would expect a degradation in appearance, and this is entirely due to changes in lifestyle choices.

  25. There is far too much negative talk about getting old and pictures to keep us from being our beautiful selves in full. No wonder people do not look forward to getting old and fight it at all costs.

  26. That we have accepted a way of living that is in complete opposition to the divinity of who we innately are, is an exploitation of the power we all hold to live the sacredness that we are born to live here on earth. This sacredness never changes regardless of our age or gender. We have the choice to reclaim all the standards that we have set and imposed on us as to what it means to be an ‘accepted’ part of society and how we are expected to behave for us to belong. Whereas we already do belong to a stupendously greater whole, and in understanding and embracing our innate divinity and interdependence we reflect this lived truth for all others to see and feel.

  27. It is quite a set up really, from an early age we are shown and encouraged that if you are beautiful, pretty or attractive, you will have a head start in life and people will like you, and because of our looks we will meet the right partner and all this will contribute to a successful life….so we learn to rely heavily on our looks rather than how we are feeling inside. This then leads to comparison which continues throughout our life, comparing what we do have against what we don’t have, so that by the time we get to old age we look in the mirror and look at the physical features but not the true beauty that lies within and we don’t always honour or reflect this in our elder years.

  28. “Looking back now I consider this one of the meanest set ups in society: the ever-changing set of rules about how we must look, that leaves most of us not ‘in.” . . .this a deliberate attempt to keep women down and insecure about themselves. It is such a relief when we see through this ploy and know that being ourselves is more than enough in fact it is what the world fears the most for a woman in her power is a woman to be reckoned with as she is not going to accept anything less than love and she will not be manipulated or controlled.

  29. It’s a choice to either feel gorgeous, absolute, lovely, amazing, delicious and more amazing qualities. Or you can choose to feel everything that is not these qualities including heavy, hard, indulgent, abusive, only human and more.

    1. Well said Joshua. It is a question about to which source of energy do we align – all that is love or all that is not love – and once this alignment is made the whole gamut of choices can be chosen in relation to how we live our life in obedience to the chosen source of energy.

  30. As I have grown older I have started to look after myself more, from simply allowing myself more time and not rushing, to understanding that comparison gets us nowhere, and through many self loving choices I now have more contentment and confidence within myself.

  31. It is a great evil that we are sold a picture of how we should be and then spend our lives trying to squeeze ourselves into it. Is this not how reductionism works? The majesty of the Universe reduced to an isolated and barely functioning part that cannot remember the glorious Whole it has separated from.

  32. It is a wonderful thing to allow yourself to be loved. It is a loving work in progress for me. I love quite freely and I know people love me and that I am loved, but too allow myself to really let that love in, is not always so easy for me. Slowly but surely. It reminds me of a time going through some cards once and reading one from my sister and I allowed myself to feel how much she loved me, and I rang her and I was like, you really love me don’t you, and she was like, yep. More of that Sarah x

  33. I have just spent some time with two women I went through high school with, one I hadn’t seen for 35 years. The most delightful realisation that we all had was that even though we all look a little different, courtesy of wrinkles and grey hair etc, when we were sitting there together it felt as if no time had passed. I could feel, and shared, that this was because in our essence we were still those gorgeous 13-16 year old girls who had connected at such a deep level time had no meaning. It confirmed for me that it doesn’t matter how old I am and what I look like on the outside, if I am connected to my essence and feeling joyful on the inside this is what will be reflected to all those around me.

  34. ‘ I am now developing a relationship with life from the inside out ‘ yes and I find how life transforming this is. More and more living by my inner guidance and the guidance of my body rather than being ruled by the should and expectations from outside.

  35. “Looking back, I also see how unanchored I was, having little to no relationship with myself on which to build a sense of who I was and what my purpose in life could possibly be.” I can relate to this Matilda, that deep down I was unanchored and did not have a true relationship with myself until I met Serge Benhayon and attended the incredible presentations and workshop. To cover this up I would lie to myself that I was fine and would outwardly seem confident but this was built on an arrogance of pretending I knew who I was and controlling life to make sure the lie was not uncovered. Looking back I can see how much I was missing out on life, not really participating by being comfortable in my own little bubble.

  36. Meeting Serge Benhayon and attending Universal Medicine presentations is the best thing I have ever done in my life. I am more with me and also more open with others and definitely have more understanding. Making new lifestyle choices is a no brainer as far as I’m concerned.

  37. This is great Matilda, and may I add that when we also have conversations at the dinner table as well as; “Eating in conversation with my body, listening to its signals” we can expand our awareness and evolve through the discussions that are developing our understanding of life.

  38. Those lines on our faces are lived lines showing another that what is offered in our bodies as we age is a reflection of the experiences that shares what truly supports one to live the vitality and joy that is on offer.

    1. These wise lines are lines of appreciation of what has been lived and shared for future generations to feel and hear.

  39. Matilda this is a powerful sharing of how we can gracefully and beautifully age when we let go of pictures and ideals, embracing the ageing process is a cycle that is rich and full of wisdom and elder energy that is deeply inspiring for us all.

  40. The more we look in our eyes each time to face a mirror and stop to appreciate what we have lived and what chooses we now make brings out the true beauty we are all seeking from the outside that so naturally reside from within.

  41. It is so important to reflect on the past so we can let go of what does not support us to make way for new ways that allow us to live our potential more and more.

    1. I agree Suse, it sure is as we then get to appreciate and confirm all the choices we have made and also solidfy and strengthen the foundation we have laid. So then we can, as you say, ‘to live our potential more and more’.

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