If someone had told me when I was younger that I would feel more beautiful in my fifties than ever before, I would have scoffed derisively.
In ‘those days’ – from childhood to 40 – my relationship with my body was based entirely on how it looked and whether it met the grade of whatever aesthetic and fashion standard was set at the time. This in itself was an exhausting exercise, being ever at the mercy of the latest trends and ‘must looks.’
Looking back now I consider this one of the meanest set ups in society: the ever-changing set of rules about how we must look, that leaves most of us not ‘in.’
Looking back, I also see how unanchored I was, having little to no relationship with myself on which to build a sense of who I was and what my purpose in life could possibly be.
Looking back, I realise that most of the people around me were just as unsure and at the mercy of social pressures and the norms dictated by statistical commonality.
Looking back, I understand how this striving for some external perfection keeps us in competition, comparison and separation from one another, sizing each other up to see how close to the mark any one of us has got.
Looking back, this is another cruel set up that keeps us at arm’s length from the very thing that breaks these beliefs and strangleholds… honesty, openness, connection, communication and relationship.
So, for much of my life I felt out of sorts and at times really desolate, knowing that this way of living made no sense.
In 2006 I met Serge Benhayon at an informal evening event in London, heard him speak, spoke to him a lot over the next months and years and in the safe hands of a building community that was opening up and practising honesty, came to hear what I had always known… we are beautifully, inextricably in relationship with one another and that there are no mysteries to life, only the veils we have laid over simplicity and truth.
I did not learn anything new working with Serge, but I got to unearth and began to access everything I had always innately known. What Serge and Universal Medicine have done is to offer a foundation upon which we can build ourselves back to our innate potential.
If this sounds off track from where I started, the point is that the way I was living (in absence from myself), meant that my behaviour and choices were governed by external rules, expectations and ‘shoulds.’ I am now developing a relationship with life from the inside out: I am me, in the world, understanding my purpose and responsibility – the part I play in a much bigger picture in which we are all so beautifully connected.
There is a sureness in this that means I enjoy being me, which has the gorgeous side effect of my enjoying the way I look, expressing myself with clothes, make up, in my house, at work…
I take really good care of myself these days, ensuring the basics of responsible self-care are sustained:
- Staying hydrated
- Resting well
- Going to the toilet when my body asks to
- Eating in conversation with my body, listening to its signals
- Bringing awareness to my posture and how I am holding myself
and then adding some finer details:
- Being super respectful in my relationships
- Letting myself love and be loved
- Exploring humility and the learning opportunities on offer when I make mistakes.
It is amazing and remarkable for me to say I feel beautiful at fifty and that I am looking forward to whatever lies ahead; growing old gracefully alongside a lot of very inspiring men and women in my life.
By Matilda Bathurst, Primary School Teacher, Nurse and Midwife, UK
Related Reading:
‘The Joy of Ageing, Esoterically’
On the Shelf or Embracing Life?
Sexiness in the Older Woman – not Related to Age, Sex or Good Looks!
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
Beautiful to feel and read, ‘ I am now developing a relationship with life from the inside out: I am me, in the world, understanding my purpose and responsibility – the part I play in a much bigger picture in which we are all so beautifully connected.’
Such a gorgeous read, thank you Matilda. I had a conversation today about comparison and this line has been so supportive to read – “striving for some external perfection keeps us in competition, comparison and separation from one another, sizing each other up to see how close to the mark any one of us has got.” It is so true and the answer is to build a relationship to who we are within, and to feel the beauty we all are that no external marker could come close to.
I loved reading this blog, its bought insight in how life forces us to be in a certain way. Growing old is an honour, it isn’t about others needing to owe us because of our failures or choices. Wisdom is within us all no matter what age we are, it isn’t about the number, we are all equally the same, we are fed that we are not.
Somewhere along the way, maybe a point in time, we wake up and realise that this isn’t it and from this awareness we make a decision and then life truly begins and when it begins it doesn’t matter what age we are, we can start at any time and truly living from then on. We see life for what it is then what it should be.
Feeling our age when we get to 50+ has been such a Joy and as you have shared Matilda, who would have guest the vibrancy of growing older as we expand our Livingness.
Many of us are not confirmed as children that we are beautiful that we shine like the stars we see at night, how many of us I wonder have been cherished in such a way? I’m not blaming any parent or Grand parent because they were probably not cherished either. We seem to have built a society that is totally loveless and yet this is the total opposite to our natural state of being. And it wasn’t until I met Serge Benhayon that I had any inkling that love is our natural state so I wonder why we keep this hidden from ourselves? Why do we want to live in a loveless society?
Mary a very good question why do we want to live in a loveless society? And when we present love to others, people fight it and make it about the person offering it. Love is continuing to offer love whether they say yes to it or not, after all that’s all we can and have to offer…
We don’t want to live in a loveless society, at a deep level we all crave love; how the world is just shows what a mess we have got ourselves in.
“growing old gracefully alongside a lot of very inspiring men and women in my life.” Inspired by the presentations by Serge Benhayon, as each day comes around I feel my inner beauty blossom as my physical body reflects the path I have stepped this life.
When we take care of the basics in self-care there is a deepening sense of self-worth and appreciation that simply keeps going. We do not arrive at an end point; we go beyond it. The level of love there for us to access is limitless.
There is evil out there that wants us to believe growing old is for losers, and that your worth decreases as you age, this could not be further from the truth, growing old gracefully, knowing we are eternal, knowing that love never leaves us – means we break though that evil that wants to tell us we are lesser.
If we understand we reincarnate and our inner being is eternal then we don’t need to attribute value to ourselves based on the age of our body, instead we can have a deep purpose to be more of the love that we are and share the wisdom we have gained, and appreciate what that means for those around us.
It is a gift to see elderly people take stock of their life & take care to age gracefully, to bring the wealth of wisdom they can connect to. It supports the young to appreciate their journey in life & make the most of it.
Beauty is ageless and beauty is in the way you choose to see things, which is governed by the energy that is sourcing you.
Serge Benhayon has presented for years on the basics of self care and self love, and though they are such basic steps, they really are such a super powerful foundation when they are lived on a day to day basis. With this as a foundation it is truly difficult to be rocked by those things that used to rock a person when they had little lived self care and love. A blessing that only each and every one of us can embrace by living it in full.
Matilda, much of what you have shared about aging resonates well with me – I too have found myself being far more loving and accepting of myself in general and my body too as I have aged and when I look at pictures of myself younger, I wonder how it is that I did not like what I saw – it is clear that at the time I did not allow myself to see what I see today which means that I have finally allowed myself to let go of some of the constructs that society does put upon us from a young age to be a certain way, to look a certain way etc. To discard these conditions and to just be is an amazing gift given to ourselves. And it keeps going…there is so much to let go of and ‘unlearn’ in life.
I agree as Universal Medicine have supported me loads in many ways, including offering a different reflection, in how to truly care for me. I can now say I am looking after me now how I would have wanted to be cared and looked after when I was younger, there is still loads of room for this to unfold and deepen but its a pretty good starting point and place to be in.
I never think of you as a 50 year old woman Matilda, I never think of you in any age really. But that is because of the way you hold yourself, your beauty is ageless, your grace is prevalent and your smile heavenly shines through.
What stands out for me when reading these blogs is that everyone seems to say the same thing in different ways and that is that Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine offer a foundation upon which we can rediscover and rebuild ourselves back to our inner most the essence of who we truly are if we so choose there is always a choice.
With that comes an enjoyment of life and who we are, ‘I enjoy being me, which has the gorgeous side effect of my enjoying the way I look, expressing myself with clothes, make up, in my house, at work…’
So many beautiful lessons you’ve shared here. I especially like, ‘Eating in conversation with my body, listening to its signals’ and learning with humility.
Matilda, you are living proof that getting older does not have to fit in with the stereotypes we have grown up with. Very inspiring.
We are constantly barraged with pictures of how we should look – social media is saturated with it. I feel it is worse now than ever before because there are now so many ways to subliminally influence people especially if they feel uncertain about themselves. It is fascinating to see how it can take hold of people, so that they are seemingly obsessed by how they look and dress and how they never seem to be satisfied; they seem to be chasing something that is always just out of their grasp.
Many people are obsessed with how they look, striving for some external perfection, and the consequences of that, ‘ I understand how this striving for some external perfection keeps us in competition, comparison and separation from one another, sizing each other up to see how close to the mark any one of us has got.’
Not only would I have ‘scoffed’ when I was younger if somebody suggested I would be as vital, beautiful and enjoying life as much as I now do in my late 60’s, I still find it difficult to accept. And even more amazing fact is that this joy and appreciation of life is ever deepening.
Comparison and jealousy only sets in when we have lost the acceptance and love for self. Unless we honour ourselves in exactly where we are at in our unfolding, reminding ourselves that there is no such thing as perfection, then it is impossible to evolve.
I wrote this piece over a year ago and it feels like ages as I re-read it today. The words are true and what I realise is that they have an aliveness to them that is dependent on a lived quality. Have I deepened my livingness of the above and/or settled for comfort or convenience? This is what makes life so interesting for me – it is always unfolding, there is always more to learn, not in a got to get somewhere way, more in a surrender and let life offer all its teachings way.
Gorgeous Matilda, having markers such as this blog Matilda wrote just over twelve months ago offers us the opportunity to reflect and ponder on where we are today and to deeply appreciate knowing that in every moment we are being offered the opportunity to deepen.
To deeply appreciate what we bring and share, our beauty and love, ‘It is amazing and remarkable for me to say I feel beautiful at fifty and that I am looking forward to whatever lies ahead’.
So beautifully said Matilda – looking back is a great reflection and confirmation of the choices made since then. A moment to contemplate how much has been embraced of the all that has been on offer – and a celebration of those moments embraced and an understanding of those moments yet to be embraced.
Matilda, I can really relate to this; ‘from childhood to 40 – my relationship with my body was based entirely on how it looked and whether it met the grade of whatever aesthetic and fashion standard was set at the time.’ Reading this reminds me that I did not value my true qualities such as sweetness and tenderness and that my focus and self-worth was based on how I looked. It feels great to now focus on my qualities and I have noticed that since appreciating these that I can now see my beauty inside and out.
We have a second opportunity when we get older to address all that we didn’t address when we were younger and it sounds like you embraced that opportunity and now have a full life to live!
Spot on Lucy, the opportunities abound and that is what makes life the blessing that it is – each moment is a moment to belong, to deepen and to embrace another level of the beauty that lies within. Cycles may seem like a curse at times, but really they are the greatest blessing and love that could be offered us to learn and grow and truly evolve. When we understand this, as you have shared in your comment, each moment is simply an opportunity to return to who we are.
Matilda you are beautiful, thank you for sharing this with us, the more we accept our own divine beauty the more we can not but shine.
Matilda, you’ve shown us how growing old is actually a very beautiful process, opposite to what society fears and are fighting. Embracing ageing graciously is the way to go and living The Way of The Livingness have support me with this very beautiful process.
Inspired by women and men around me who show me that true beauty and grace are not physical qualities but inner qualities that then sparkle through our physicality, I embrace the potential of each moment as I age!
” we are beautifully, inextricably in relationship with one another and that there are no mysteries to life, only the veils we have laid over simplicity and truth.” This is very beautiful Matilda, we are no island even though we live like we are.
This is inspiring to read Matilda; ‘It is amazing and remarkable for me to say I feel beautiful at fifty and that I am looking forward to whatever lies ahead; growing old gracefully.’ You are a role model to other women and prove that ageing can be a beautiful process where we can feel well and vital.
So beautifully expressed Matilda, and I too can relate in so many ways. Life is such a learning ground, a life-school. And I too have learned over the years to feel more and more beautiful. At 45 years old now I appreciate my own body so much more than ever before and this is a gift that I get to enjoy on waking up every day and also I get to go to sleep with this too! 😉
Matilda, this is Gold, for indeed we are born with all that we ever need and more within: “I did not learn anything new working with Serge, but I got to unearth and began to access everything I had always innately known. What Serge and Universal Medicine have done is to offer a foundation upon which we can build ourselves back to our innate potential.” – we are all born with it all, it is simply our job to activate it by living it.
In recent times I have come to see so clearly that the world we are born into is set up to keep us from not knowing who we are, as from the moment we take our first breath all the messages are telling us that we are not good enough as we are and that we need to take on a long list of ideals and beliefs to feel like we fit in. And one of those ideals is the “ever-changing set of rules about how we must look”. How self-worth destructive this focus on our outward appearance is, all the while missing out on the true and ageless beauty we all have within.
So true. This looking outside of ourselves for our self-worth is so embedded as our normal that we rarely question it but the rising rates of depression has to tell us that something about the way we have been living is very wrong.
And I have to ask, how much further do those rates of depression, sometimes resulting in suicide, have to rise before humanity as a whole, demands to know what is going on, and how can it be stopped? Have we simply accepted that depression is a part of life we can’t do anything about, another destructive normal that has entrenched itself in our belief system? Well, for me, it is definitely not a normal part of life and the answers to why it is has become so, as well as how it can be healed, are wisely presented by Serge Benhayon, a man who makes sense of a world that does not make sense to most.
Looking back with love and understanding is key and there is a lot we can learn and heal when we chose to live life in this way. I look back with understanding and I am able to clearly see strengths hidden, hurts healed, my potential here to live. If I was not understanding I would not have that clarity.
Love and understanding are always an important part of our lives.
I can feel your beauty, grace and also joy coming off the screen, and that is without even seeing you! Showing me that beauty really is more than just skin-deep.
So true Sarah, I too can feel Matilda’s beauty through her words, the quality and delicateness of the way she expressed is captured in this blog. And, I agree, beauty is definitely more than just skin-deep, when we connect to the vibration of what is expressed and the vibration of a person’s movements, this beauty we refer to can certainly be felt.
I don’t consider myself old as I feel very young but when I look back on my life and reflect what I used to do and where I was at I can see how much I have grown, learnt and evolved. This is something that I can really appreciate and I just love the fact this will always be the case. It doesn’t matter how old we are we can learn and grow all of the time, life after life.
We can and do learn and grow all the time, appreciation for ourselves as we embrace our unfolding and evolving is a gorgeous support.
I have read something similar from someone else ‘I did not learn anything new working with Serge, but I got to unearth and began to access everything I had always innately known.’ and on reflection when I first met Serge I knew what he was teaching or presenting was a truth, there was not a shadow of a doubt of this the truth was clearly felt in my body even though at the time I was in a bit of a mess! Which makes me wonder if we know something to be true why on earth do we not live this as in this example it is only 3 people but in the world we have approximately 7.5 billion people. That is potentially 7.5 billion people living something they know is not true!!! No wonder the world is in such the mess it is currently in!
I am not listening to the beliefs and images that our world has about growing old. I am 67 and feel better then I did when I was 50. How is that possible? I have had support in this process, but most important was, do not limit myself in what I can and can not do. Yes, I need to constantly check in and make sure I am not pushing beyond what my body can handle, but having no pictures about what is possible is the key.
I am in exactly the same place as you Ken, a place of common sense as to what ageing is truly all about. I know from my own lived experience, that it’s not all ‘downhill’ but that it can be a time of joy, vitality and a wonderful well-being. How vital and joyful I am comes from the self-loving choices I make, and from making these love-based choices, at 69, I too am feeling ‘better than I did when I was 50’!
To feel the best I have ever felt (and the most beautiful too) as I approach my fifties really is a surprise that at the age of twenty I never thought I would feel by the time I got to this age and stage of life. Getting older doesn’t have to be the pain and strain we are led to believe.
I am with you there, more sexy, vibrant, confident then I have ever been. Age has it’s reflections to offer and stages to consider, but how we feel inside is not related to age. Breaking the trend of ill health and exhaustion in older age can be a reality, living well and caring for our being is a choice we can all make.
Feeling younger, more vibrant and more joyful as we age really is a possibility and not the paradox we might think.
It is very rare to meet someone in their late forties or fifties who are feeling like the way you do, Rachel. This will have a lot of people very intrigued because a majority of our population often thinks anyone aged forty or above is heading downhill but what you’ve shared is the opposite of our society’s model. Your beautiful reflection is what our world needs and I am joining you too in showing the world how joyful ageing can be.
Beautiful chanly88, there is an age revolution happening… many are showing a grace and joy with the ageing process and going ‘uphill’ all the way!
I love reading these comments and feeling the beauty and strength of ageing with self respect, lots of honouring and always appreciation. Thank you.
If only we lived forward understanding the true meaning of the past we would not stay imprisoned by our beliefs and hurts.
I am fortunately to have a beautiful friendship with an amazing women who is 88, she is super remarkable at this age and reflects the power of healing and being honest. Willing to look at what ever is not of Love, she is vital, sharp as a tack, still out volunteering at hospices, inspiring all generations and is taking deeper care than ever before. It’s never to late to honour ourselves with the absolute precious care we deserve.
Natalie what you have shared is lovely as this shows us our future of what is possible. We do not have to live our elderly years checked out, living in care homes crippled with illness we can be vital and full of life to the very end what a beautiful inspiration your friend is to everyone.
If I drop those ideals of perfection that I have spent so much time striving for, I also can drop the need to compare and compete with others. Phew what a huge relief.
Every minute is a cycle, every day is a cycle, every month is cycle, every year is a cycle, every life is a cycle and we could go on and on. Aging is a part of this divine cycle and is a blessing on all levels as it teaches us to respect and care for the body which is our connection to the being that lives within the body.
Beautiful Henrietta, I love your appreciation for our cycles, we cannot avoid them and we certainly cannot reverse them either. Our cycles are a blessing and once we embrace and accept our part in the many cycles that we live in, perhaps collectively, we may not fight them as much as we do now.
Yes and with that at the forefront of our way of living it takes the pressure off getting it right. We have an opportunity to look in the mirror and see what is there to be seen not simply what we want to see.
Funny how as I grow older in life and see more wrinkles appearing or realise my body is not as nimble as it used to be as a child, I still do not feel older on the inside – to me this says a lot about there being a being on the inside that is ageless.
The mere fact that we can feel the same joyful self that we were when we were younger, despite the apparent ageing of our body, highlights for me the presence of the being inside the human.
Having a belief about what is beautiful will set you up to not beauty.
Our world is so caught up with comparison when it comes to seeing beauty. But when you compare you are losing the ability to really see what is there.
For me it requires stopping and checking in with myself, being present with what is going on with me, because this influences how I interrupt what I see. Then just receive what is being offered.
Thank you Serge Benhayon for supporting me to truly see.
‘Looking back, I also see how unanchored I was, having little to no relationship with myself on which to build a sense of who I was and what my purpose in life could possibly be.’ And I had no idea that the anchor was inside of me. But while writing this down I felt deep down I knew I had everything I am inside of me but did not know how to live with myself lovingly, as there was nothing in the outside world that confirmed this beautiful anchor inside.
Reflections in the world can confirm our beauty, like a beautiful relationship with another, ‘we are beautifully, inextricably in relationship with one another and that there are no mysteries to life, only the veils we have laid over simplicity and truth.’
‘I enjoy being me’ – that’s it, so simple, and so obvious, yet we spend years, if not life times, putting buffers in-between.
Thanks Matilda… It’s not just that for me I feel so much more appreciative of myself that I used to, is also that I actually did not know myself really at all so how could I appreciate what I didn’t know.
The more we can develop understanding in our younger years the easier it will be to bring it into our elder years.
Living up to pictures of what we should look like or conduct ourselves means nothing when you find out that your whole life has been built on lies. Every woman should feel their beauty no matter what age or physical appearance.
To spend 40 or 50 years feeling unsure of what is happening is an awful indictment of our education system and what is generally allowed in this world. That would be if it was one person, so the fact it happens to most is truly awful. To then be inspired to see the truth we know inside, to unlock our innate beauty… a priceless gift.
Using the words “old” and “beautiful” in the same sentence is wonderful because it breaks down the belief that we can only be beautiful when we are young.
I agree with what you have said Matilda, that you did not learn anything new with Serge Benhayon and he is the first person to encourage everyone to reach this understanding. Serge Benhayon has always presented that we know everything he knows as we all come from the same place and we do which is why what he presents resonates within our bodies and reignites our own truth.
It is a trend that elderly people are discarded as being useless for society and therefore are not appreciated for the life experience they have to share. And with that behaviour every new generation has the right to make the same mistakes or learnings over and over again and in truth does choose to not evolve back.
That what Serge Benhayon lives and presents is not new, it is the Ageless Wisdom he comes with in every step he makes. So when you meet him you got remembered that we know that too. The only point can be that we are so invested in this life we have created for ourself that we do not like to be disturbed in this activity, heavily react instead and make that what Serge presents ridiculous.
There is nothing more joyous than to feel and know that we are ageless and that our existence is out of this world first and formost: beingness, Soul.