What is abuse and how does it look in the world today? The definition of abuse according to the Oxford Living Dictionaries is:
“To use (something) to bad effect or for a bad purpose; misuse”
and
“To treat with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly.” (1)
Many people would recognise domestic violence as abuse or in the case of an alcoholic, the alcohol consumption as abuse. However, ‘abuse’ is being recognised as meaning so much more in the media today. It was thought in the past that abuse wasn’t that common but its spectrum has widened these days and includes emotional abuse. Emotional abuse is seen in both the home and the workplace in the form of bullying behaviour. Abuse is also seen in other areas such as in the sporting arena and nowadays on social media. This latter has even driven people to suicide and is deeply shocking.
There is corruption in companies – both financial and corporate. Big companies have off-shore headquarters whereby they can avoid paying taxes in the country where they carry out most of their work. Is this not another form of abuse? The more our awareness is raised, the more we tend to see abuse. However, my feeling is that corruption has always been there but we are now finding out about it more.
How come we have tolerated abuse for so long? Is it the shame we feel and don’t want to stand out or have attention drawn to it and to us? Until a few years ago it was a brave woman who stood up for truth and called out anyone who abused her. It was commonly thought that a woman who had been the victim of domestic abuse must have done something to upset her partner. Equally so, when raped on the city streets, at parties, in offices and in their own homes for example, women can get blamed for their attack. Even today in a more tolerant society, many women are cross examined as to their dress code when the abuse occurred, and it is often suggested that “she asked for it.”
Lately there has been a spate of acid attacks on the streets, whereby men and women have been disfigured for life. There is a saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.” However is this true? Men tend to be more physical when they abuse, but women can use acidic words to abuse others emotionally: both of these can inflict long lasting effects on others.
With social media today, nothing much is kept secret any more. Cyber abuse can consist of sexting which has become commonplace – naked photos of girlfriends can get passed around a group. Vilification of both sexes, of race and of culture occurs on social media.
Young people (and adults for that matter) need more education around abuse e.g. exploring what abuse includes, and the need to respect others and themselves, and also to understand the laws regarding abuse.
The recent allegations against Harvey Weinstein in the USA movie industry is but the tip of the iceberg. Many people in positions of power have thought they can have their cake and eat it too. I wonder how many men have been abused by women in power positions and if so, would they speak up? This can occur in any industry. If a woman or man’s job is predicated on keeping silent when either has been harassed and abused, this should not be tolerated in the 21st century. Recently, two British MPs were investigated for alleged sexual abuse against their young female employees and have since been demoted.
It is time for such abuse to be called out. Corruption and abuse have gone under cover for too long. The ‘#MeToo’ forum is gaining names at a rapid pace on social media as more women are starting to speak out. Few women have experienced no abuse at all in their lifetime – be it ever so subtle. From catcalls to unasked for comments that are given in the street, to rubbing up against women on a crowded tube train. Men passing this off as ‘a joke’ when it is anything but, can no longer be used as an excuse.
In complete contrast, good men can and have been smeared by people calling out abuse when such men have lived exemplary lives. Even when investigations prove their innocence, many will believe “there is no smoke without fire.” Such investigations can prove deleterious to a man’s career. The whole area can become a minefield.
It is time for everyone who finds any form of abuse abhorrent to stand up and be counted.
A quote attributed to Edmund Burke I am inspired by is: “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” (2)
By Sue, 67, Somerset UK
References:
- Oxford Dictionaries | English. (2018). abuse | Definition of abuse in English by Oxford Dictionaries. [online] Available at: https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/abuse [Accessed 1 Apr. 2018].
- Anon, (2018). Edmund Burke Quotes (Author of Reflections on the Revolution in France). [online] Available at: https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/17142.Edmund_Burke [Accessed 1 Apr. 2018].
Related Reading:
The Art of Appreciation – Helping to Break the Cycle of Self Abuse
Abuse – My Understanding So Far
Cyber Abuse @ One’s Fingertips
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
Very true Jane, ‘If our body had a voice it would say so much about abuse – it knows every moment of abuse’. Our body can teach us so much.
Standing up and shouting from the roof tops (freedom of speech) has opened the door to everyone being able to verbally abuse others and this form of abusive way of talking to others needs to be understood for the debilitating effect it has on those who are not discerning enough to understand that everything comes from an energy, and thus it is very easy to takes these things personal.
Abuse is kindled with the way we treat ourselves. If we do not treat ourselves in a truly gentle and nurturing way then it can become the norm to treat others in the same downward spiral.
So true Mary. How we treat others is always reflective of how we treat ourselves. And we can always deepen our own self caring and self nurturing so that a look back at how we (I) used to treat ourselves can today appear to have been almost abusive.
Social media has been hijacked by some people who feel they have a right to ‘free speech’ . What they have to say is not ‘free speech’ it is a way for them to relieve themselves from the pressure of the tensions they may be feeling in their bodies. The use of drugs, Alcohol, food, cutting etc.,seem to be not enough any more, the tension is too great because it is so raw and in their face. They can feel their own lack of self-love and harmony in their lives and that may bring up comparison and jealousy towards anyone that is seen to be successful. This comparison and jealousy drives some of them to the most barbaric acts against another fellow human – being.
I have been noticing it in the work environment that when a behaviour which is missing the hallmarks of care, inclusivity and responsibility in any way is allowed to go unaddressed and unchecked, under the guise that it is not that bad, the behaviour invariably slowly builds. In the end you end up with something very obviously destructive on your plate that you can no longer ignore and you need to deal with.
It is unwise to wait until we get to an extreme expression before we choose to address it. Nipping anything that is not of the highest quality in the bud is far more caring and responsible for everyone involved.
“Men tend to be more physical when they abuse, but women can use acidic words to abuse others emotionally: both of these can inflict long lasting effects on others.” It is so often this verbal abuse that goes unseen, and can actually be way more harmful than physical abuse as there is nothing physical to ‘show’ other than the mental torment and pain that goes on for the abused.
There seems to be a lot of stories in the news lately of young women being raped and then being abused even further by the justice system when it comes to them testifying or sentences being handed out. It seems as though the justice system is there to protect the guilty and make it harder for people to speak up and to tell the truth of what happened. How is it the justice system can go against truth and protect the guilty; how is it that we have got to this point.
Yes and even more this year in the UK when the CPS (Crown Prosecution Service) are either not proceeding with cases or they don’t have ‘sufficient evidence’ to convict the perpetrator. It is known that often when these people re-offend and get caught – it is discovered they are multiple abusers…. so many more women ( and it is usually women) suffer needlessly.
Its the regular and repeated definition that makes its mark the most when I was reading that. Yes a single sentence can harm someone for a lifetime (you can’t sing springs to mind), but equally what about the tiny bits of abuse we allow everyday for 50 years (what we eat, the way we move, our level of conversation) and the impact that can have on our bodies.
It seems to me that we tend to think of abuse as something worse than our every-day…something out of the normal…something that pops out as seeming extreme. Which means that, when our standards have dropped as low as they have, we could be living with abuse 24/7 without even recognising it. This is why standards our so important; raise the standard and then the abuse is exposed.
Yes, accepting life as ‘normal;’ can actually be accepting abuse in our everyday – be it at home or at work Just because its accepted everywhere doesn’t mean its ok. Hence as you say its so important to set our standards – and keep to them – even when those around us drop theirs.
“there is no smoke without fire.” This is simply not true and I have seen the media start fires where there hasn’t even been an ember.
So true Otto. I too have seen untrue ‘evidence’ that has been manipulated. So easy to take something out of context and present it as a true fact. Plenty of fires begun from a grudge that can wreck honest and respectable people’s lives. We know of suicides form cyber bullying. We just nee to keep on calling it out – the abuse it truly is..
If we knowingly do something that is more complicated than it need be even that is abuse for it unsettles us.
Great point about the offshore companies – it is basically bending rules to create a pocket where rules do not apply, that would even allow dishonouring of truth in order to call it just.
The levels of abuse in the world are escalating at alarming rates from the extreme to the subtle. Either way we are all sensitive to this and the outplays whatever they many be are harming to the all.
New forms of abuse are appearing in the world, we need new laws to prosecute all of the perpetrators.
Thank you Sue… Abuse in any form is a travesty against the very nature of who we truly are.
To me, abuse has always been championed. From witch hunts, burning women at the stake in the name of religion to what we have now – cage fighting women and men for the entertainment of others… So really, nothing has changed, we are still abusing and abuse is still accepted and enjoyed by others.
I agree Rachael and it seems at times the more we abuse ourselves for somesort of gain the more we get rewarded by others.
Abuse is being enjoyed – that’s so true. We may want to argue this, but looking at how we have been carrying on, there must be something in us that finds some value in getting tantalised and entertained by abusing and being abused.
That is sad Fumiyo, ‘Abuse is being enjoyed’. Anything that is not love is a form of abuse, that means there is a lot of abuse in our world.
It’s a sobering thing to contemplate Rachael. Do we enjoy the abuse of others so that we can ignore the abuse that we are inflicting or tolerating. As long as someone else is having it worse….It’s a classic excuse for not taking responsibility.
The fact that we live in a human body and to glorify it above the Soul already can be seen as abusive because we are from Soul and to live in utterly neglect to this is possibly the seed fo all the abuse in the world.
That quote Sue sums it up completely, so long as we keep our heads under the sand and ignore any kind of abuse in our lives then nothing will ever change. I know for me I was ignorant to it all, well I played it so like this until really seeing how it is rife, abuse is everywhere and we just turn a blind eye. The more I am seeing it I can see how important it is to say no to it. The more I do this the more I can see how this is having an impact. We create our own world.
Very true Natalie, we can continue to turn a blind eye to abuse and what is happening around us and ignore it and think or hope it will go away but nothing changes or we can start to say no to it and only accept love in life. And slowly we will see the ripple effect otherwise things will simply remain the same.
If we continue to ignore the abuse, and do not call it out, then that in itself is a form of abuse.
When we actually look at it the abuse that goes on in the world at the moment and probably has done since man knew he had free will, from an unkind word to extremes like the holocost, why have we not learnt that it gets us nowhere but in fact takes us further from where we are supposed to be.
Possibly the abuse is already in us neglecting that we are so much more then the life we have created for ourselves as a society and therefore can spread so widely in all its waywardness.
Or is it that we are still thinking too much about this one life that we are in, that we don’t consider the long term consequences of what we hand down to the next generation or for our next life. We seem adept at being irresponsible in this life we have now, and that means we allow abuse, and we abuse with equal abandon.
Absolutely agree that it’s super important not to dismiss abuse wherever we see it, and including also how we are with ourselves – the kind of dialogue we allow to run in our mind when we see ourselves in a mirror or compare to others or to ideals we’ve picked up for that is a foundation also for making abuse normal when really it is the opposite of our true nature.
Yes, it’s no surprise there is abuse out in the world when we can o so subtly abuse ourselves as per your example of looking in the mirror and either compare or not appreciate what we see. Does a rose feel bad because it’s not a daffodil? The very question seems absurd, yet we do it all the time – Eg not feeling good enough, which is a form of abuse that can feel so normal we don’t even think of it as abuse.
Any slight form of running our self down, self depreciation, being excessively modest, instead of appreciating and enjoying our magnificence, is a form of abuse.
I feel its abusive to be seeded to always be perfect, and therefore expect others to be perfect. This kills my understanding of where others are at and accepting them. It also prevents me not enjoying myself in what I bring.
There is abuse in almost every workplace every day, with people complaining about one another, conniving to get their own needs met, or simply the self-abuse of not caring or honouring ourselves as we override our body to get the job done. Our workplaces have a long way to go before they are places that do not allow abuse.
After a recent world cup football match, where a team lost I was informed by someone that they were delayed in London because the taxi was late due to rioting in the streets! Because the team had lost people had decided to vent their feelings by damaging cars and property. Where are we as a society that gives some one the right to feel that they can carry out such wonton abuse?
I agree Mary. And I dread to think what happened in the homes of those people when they arrived home. It has been reported on social media that when a team loses a football match the incidence of domestic abuse rises in homes. Very shocking. What sort of society are we raising our future children to live in?
I agree Mary it makes no sense what so ever that just because our football team has lost or won that we can then be wreckless and damage whatever is in sight for no apparent reason and definitely no justifiable one. For me it also shows us what happens when we add alcohol into the mix as so often we can then do completely out of character behaviours.
The phrase ‘sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me’ is actually a curse on society because it takes away from the fact that words can be a medium through which extreme abuse can occur, and it’s important we speak up about it and don’t beat ourselves up for feeling hurt or affected by it because it ‘shouldn’t hurt us’.
Yes Susie W – words can indeed be a curse and it may be easier to get over a physical blow rather than hateful words which can infiltrate us for a long time with the abuse they can engender.
Abuse in any form should never be accepted, the more people call out and stand up against abuse, opens the doors for those who find it more difficult to stand up for themselves to find the courage and self confidence to do so.
I agree Sally – the more people speak up about abuse the more others may feel encouraged to do so too.
Absolutely, it is time to say ‘no’ to abuse of any form.
What little things do we let slide? Do those little things add up and we end up with what we recognise as abuse? If we, any one of us, had stepped forward to comment on the little things we could have let slide, we might not be in the position we are now where we are desperately trying to work out how to deal with the levels of domestic violence, corruption, war, murder and rape that we have.
Yes, if we don’t express what we feel and see we are standing by and enabling abuse It’s great to start clocking it within ourselves tho’ and saying to ourselves, ‘that is evil’. For years I would just check out and not want to see the abuse around me. How many of us do this as children in our families? And if we did, we got shot down. No wonder so many of us learned to keep quiet.
So true. What would our liver say if it could talk, for example with the copious amounts of alcohol that it has to deal with. It goes on working even when the body shows it’s not coping. Yet once the hangover is finished what do we do? Why have another drink…… when we feel ‘better’.
Brilliant point Jane – this highlights how developing an honouring and loving relationship with our body and being is essential for us to say ‘no’ to that which dishonours our connection to this quality, as such develops a solid foundation in knowing what then is abusive.
We have accepted abuse, subtle or otherwise, as a normalised lowered standard in our society. And as we have allowed this standard to be normalised we too can raise the standard to honour what we all deserve to respectfully live together. I agree that it is time to stand up and be counted, and this begins now with ourselves and how we live our everyday lives. Saying ‘no’ to any form of abuse in our relationships and lives is the true movement that will be the bedrock of true change in raising the standards to a true and honouring normal that supports us all to live our true potential.
Spot on – and clocking when we abuse ourselves too, which we may not even have considered as abuse until we wake up to our sensitivity.
It is important to notice when we abuse ourselves, how can we say no to abuse from another if we are in fact abusing ourselves.
Abuse is a pattern of movement of someone who is disconnected from his/her body, hence from his/her heart, therefore, from divinity, who engages as a human being with another one, degraded to being just a human being, in a way that forces disconnection from his/her body, heart and divinity upon the other person. The only way to produce a similar pattern than yours that also works for you (even if not truly) is by sheer force.
And do we abuse ourselves? How many of us would view our ‘small’ self destructive behaviours as abuse? It all starts with the personal.
This is good
The movement of us as a general population to stamp out abuse is at a glacial pace. Only yesterday I was reading about rape allegations in our local Universities. It seems we all accept this behaviour, but as a woman it is completely abhorrent to me that our young women who attend a place of learning are subject to one of the ultimately most demeaning forms of abuse, seemingly as a norm. We have a long, long way to go to start saying no to abuse.
It can be and is so easy to withdraw from life and others when we start to really see quite how much abuse goes on from the small so called innocent comments to the more extreme forms. We feel the shudder in our bodies from the lack of love and so we have learnt to harden up to protect ourselves from it but what if actually staying open with our hearts and feeling it in full is the best possible protection possible? It would mean we would actually fully feel what is there and so get to understand it and then respond to what is going on rather than reacting.
I agree that in the world today abuse and corruption that has always been there is becoming much more obvious and coming up to the surface. It seems like things cannot be hidden so easily. Also as the general levels of tension in society increase we are also seeing more corruption as people try to find security and try to compensate for the tension and the dysfunction they are feeling is occurring in society.
Yes, corruption is not so hidden these days – and people are being called to account. There is power in the many becoming unified and saying no more and not in my name. .
It is abhorrent the forms of abuse that occur in every part of life, yet great that these ways of behaving are being exposed, and called to account. When are the Catholic Church going to be accountable for how they have accepted and condoned paedophilia, simply moving an offending priest to another location?
“It is time for everyone who finds any form of abuse abhorrent to stand up and be counted.” – a great call out Sue and one that is very needed if we are going to bring the change that is needed. If love is to reign on earth then abuse of any kind needs to be stopped, within ourselves and within our relationships.
Great to read that more women start to speak up about the abuse.
I kept it hidden for 30 years before I opened up the past and start to do healing sessions and specially esoetric healing level 2, childhood imprints did support me deeply to release for ever.
Great question, Richard, it feels as though there is a convenience in our current understanding of the word ‘abuse’ and what it means for us. However, anything that is not loving is abusive – accepting this truth certainly changes the ‘comfortable’ landscape for us all.
In order to suppress how we are feeling, we dis-connect from our body, thereby cutting off our connection to the truth and the immensely loving, unwavering support that our body offers us, always. We are choosing to abandon ourselves and make something or someone else greater than we are.
Yes and we have to stop this dis-connect because there is so much just waiting for us the moment we are ready to listen.
It takes 2 people for a rape to happen. It is the responsibility as well as the emptiness of 2 people that this event can happen.
Doing nothing is really not an option, it cannot be or we cannot complain about the world we have. Now we cannot do everything, but what we can do we must do and it must start with taking care of yourself so you are fit and well to stay the course.
Yes Lucy – it all starts here – with me – then in my home, my school or work place and onwards. Staying quiet is no longer an option.
The normalisation and acceptance of abuse in the world and with ourselves and each other is enormous and our bodies feel it all and speak to us loudly but we have chosen to not feel this and stand back and accept what is going on by not calling it out. A great blog and reminder for us all to see the abuse and bring this to attention starting with ourselves and our own markers of truth and love.
The abuse that has been thrown at Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon has definitely been not free of smoke but there has been no fire!
Maybe it could be said that the fiery ways of Serge Benhayon and the Students of The Livingness has caused smoke to come out of the ears of some?
Words can indeed hurt us and you don’t have to be on the receiving end either; just hearing someone else getting the abuse is enough.
Yes because there is a threat that it will soon turn on us, particularly if we speak up. The threat is equal to the violence if the end goal is to silence.
Abuse sure does take many forms, I went to fill my van up with fuel yesterday and I observed the constant abuse drivers were hurling at each other and thought the energy of all that abuse has to go somewhere and it ends up coming back to the abuser eventually, so in actual fact any abuse we throw at another is essentially self abuse anyway.
So true, Kevmchardy – the abuser hurts themselves as much, if not more, than the person they are abusing. The more we abuse ourselves, and each other, we raise the standard on what becomes our norm and eventually, what becomes acceptable in our society. There is no space whatsoever for any kind of abuse when we are honouring the divinity of who we all are, none.
We often accept abuse when we sign a contract for work, we accept being shouted at by our boss and in many places we are expected to work late with far longer hours. We can be absolutely miserable, have our confidence knocked and not believe in who we are anymore. A Mother recently described her daughters’ work as being like a caged animal. How is it that we have got a world like this? That we have allowed this level of abuse to go on as normal? What would happen if we valued and treated every single employee as precious and equal human beings? What would our levels of illness and attendance be like? I do not know the statistics for absenteeism from work, however I do know it is extremely high so is it not best we each took responsibility for ourselves and started to say no to abuse even in its slightest form?
I agree, the range of what we deem as being abusive is a forever refining thing. Eventually perhaps we will find it abusive if someone is not living in their fullness and beauty because they are robbing the world of seeing and feeling it when it’s direly needed.
I love this concept that living anything less than the love that we are is abusive.
“Young people (and adults for that matter) need more education around abuse e.g. exploring what abuse includes, and the need to respect others and themselves, and also to understand the laws regarding abuse.”
For young people today there has been a lack of role modelling from their piers, as you say Sue it feels like we need to explore together our relationship to the intricacies of abuse and self abuse and in doing so be inspired to take greater responsibility for our interactions.
Misuse of the body is easy when we override the messages that are being communicated and yet they will always turn up in another moment for us to hear and maybe re-connect with and live what we have always known.
The abuse we have normalised in our society is shocking, but what about the self-abuse we allow on a daily basis that we turn a blind eye to?
Absolutely and it’s because we abuse ourselves so much that we are able to accept or turn a blind eye to the abuse that we see around us.
I think partly why we have tolerated/ condoned/ excused abuse for so long (and with that supported it to proliferate) is that we haven’t really let ourselves see it or see the impact of it and so many things that are abusive have been dismissed as just being part and parcel of life, no big deal, just the way it is… But the more we can truly open up to seeing the consequences of abuse in all its forms and expressions and not just brush it off or ignore it the more we can shine a light on something that certainly needs exposing and bringing to light.
When I hold back from delivering what’s needed I get hurt. The changes in my life are quite immediate. So if you find things are rough, painful or getting hard it’s great to stop and take stock of where we may be shortchanging the world.
Yes Sue – where there is fire there is smoke. Meaning that we need to see more clearly by being willing to see where the smoke comes from and where it plays out. To stand tall and actually speak up when it comes down to any form of abuse (big or small).
I have seen that there is a stigma attached to being abused that makes people less likely to speak up. What I have also felt is the sheep like energy of people, wanting to be on the ‘winning side’ and not stand out. For instance, when there is bullying occurring, people stay quiet, glad that it’s not happening to them rather than stand up to the energy.
I once was standing up for discrimination in the company, it felt great to speak up.
In my work place abuse is rife amongst many of the staff but because they do it with each other they think it is the ‘norm’. I call it out but they do not want to see the behavior as abuse.
Abuse is becoming more normal and at the same time more apparent. And we have a tendency to not speak up from the little things which leads us to not speaking up to the big things. But what if we started to say no to any tiny bit of abuse within ourselves – what would that look like as a foundation to saying no to anything less than this.
It seems that as abuse, violence and hate-crimes in the world escalate, we are also witnessing a light starting to be shone on what has never truly been considered as abuse before – or it was never spoken about openly as being abuse. An interesting reflection, but we have so much further to go in seeing how we allow abuse to propagate from the moment we accept anything that is not Love .
If we were to make life more about love there would be less abuse in the world.
There is so much abuse in the world, it can feel unmanageable and sometimes it makes the smaller abuses seem okay or nothing worth dealing with in the face of other horrific issues. But what if each small brick is what builds the massive monuments of abuse we see in life.
Abuse always comes first from leaving the place of absolute adoration for ourselves. Lack of self worth causes all types of abuse to ourselves and others.
It is definitely a minefield out there Sue, and the longer we hold back from calling out abuse the longer it festers and eats away at the very integrity of our society.
This is a very needed conversation for we have normalised putting ourselves and others down. We have also normalised competition often at the expense of others, rather than confirming and appreciating our equalness in essence.
Thank you Sue. Your concise article highlights the importance for everyone to call out abuse and say No, starting with ourselves and this will ripple out to others and how we are in the world with each other.
The world is full of abuse but only because we allow it in our own lives. Choose to not have abuse in our lives and our world will change.
There is abuse in the world to such a degree that we cannot fathom and would not even believe if we knew the many ways it comes about. My understanding of abuse is naturally deepening all the while I bring the ways of love into my everyday.
Abuse is everywhere and I find it can be so easy to blame others without 1st saying ok so what am I being shown? why is this happening to me? The more I do this and take responsibility for my part the less I get affected by what is going on around me. We are here to be love nothing less.
There are so many subtle ways of abuse, when we don’t adore the person standing in front of us and we speak to them with anything less than that – we are abusing.
When we start to self-love we start to see what is not love and is thus abuse or abusive. With the current iceberg of abuse in our world it makes me think that as a race of human beings we must (oddly) have an aversion to love or to being loving only because if we didn’t then our world would not be the quality (of abuse; lovelessness) as we experience today. When there is no fight, aversion, distraction, numbing, deflection, but instead an awareness and embracing of what we innately are; love, then our world will change to mirror this naturalness.
We can’t deny with abuse being everywhere that it is something only a few people do but have to look at our own lives and how we are all living that produces such an environment full of abuse.
By beginning with very simple self-caring acts, like going to bed early, eating foods that are nourishing and light, moving our bodies gently, etc. we can begin to then only accept those self-loving acts as our new normal and thus any abuse will stand out more and not be tolerated. This starts with our young children in our homes and schools, as it is now not really taught.
Each time I go to the gym and observe women running on the tread mill, I feel with each step they take is an absolute assault on their bodies. To them they are getting fit but for me it feels like are abusing their delicate body. Abuse comes in all different ways, often in the guise of getting fit and healthy…ironic isn’t it?
We are sold the image of fitness in the world but let us stop to not focus on the body only as the eyes tell a very different story of what is truly being lived.
Abuse has always been rife and today, people are more willing to jump on the bandwagon and call it for what it is, especially when it leads to acclaim and even celebrity status. The question is whether we are willing to address abuse in its at times most subtle forms, i.e. when we abuse ourselves by what we ingest and engage in and, more often than not, call ‘normal’.
Something that I have been pondering on is how under the guise of ‘doing good’ or even ‘public good’ is how this can be used as a platform to abuse another or to try and make another less or as a platform to criticise another and the decisions that they make – all of course is abuse.
So true Jennifer any form of critique is a judgement and has to be abusive and the thoughts that contrive these “platforms,” it must be they live in a house without fire alarms.
Sue abuse is everywhere, and the most common form is self abuse. Different forms of self abuse can be hidden in ideals we celebrate such as being a ‘good’ mum or dad and placing everyone and everything before our own care, or pushing the body to extremes in the name of a trophy or other accolade for sport or study, etc. Whenever we push or neglect the body, or even speak to ourselves in an unkind way we are in self abuse. I was also considering the way I used to stuff myself at all you can eat restaurants, we would not eat much through the day and then overeat at the buffet at night, which would have placed my digestive system under enormous pressure, another form of self abuse in a sense because it’s a misuse of the body.
The abuse that happens on the internet is deeply shocking, there is no other way to look at it other than abuse, it is inexcusable and horrific. And I feel that we have a long way to go to rid our communities of its nasty presence.
I agree Shami, our standards have horribly dropped, such abuse on the internet is like war and words are the weapons used. Cyberbullying and abuse on the internet are a huge energy that seems to be getting bigger.
I agree Shami it is but it is just indicative of where as a society we are at. It is just magnified online because we can seemingly hide behind closed doors and psuedo names. The more we see anything less than love as abuse the more we will not tolerate what is not.
Yesterday, for the first time and in the community I’ve lived in for thirty years, I was abused on the street. A man was walking, I stepped aside to let him pass he stepped back into my path and slapped me against my face, his aim missed its target and knocked off my glasses. What was important was my response. I’d been walking my walk when it happened and felt nothing: no anger, no fear. I simply picked up my glasses and walked on without looking back at my assailant. We all meet abuse in life, what matters is preparing our bodies so that when it comes we know how to respond.
Thank you Kehinde for sharing this experience of abuse and how you responded, what a huge event to have come your way.
Thank you Melinda. Forces come our way in many different guises and attempt to knock us off our path and diminish us. To walk in a body of love supports us to hold our resolve and not allow anything to bring us down.
Speaking up about abuse can be confronting, and makes us aware of beliefs we hold one of which the desire to be liked. Once we align to purpose, our attachment to being liked dissipates and we’re impulsed to express truth regardless of consequences.
A real understanding and sharing on the abuse in the world and how it effects us all. A brilliant sharing much needed to bring about a change in awareness and the abuse in the world offered to be expressed and called for what it is.
Honesty is such a refreshing place to start when we want to make real change.
It sure is Andrew and the more honest we can be about what we are feeling and seeing the more we will hate what is going on and have no choice but to make a change.
What also needs to be said also is the abuse known as bullying starts so very young at school and the kids won’t say anything for fear of being branded a tell-tale and also a lot of the teachers don’t seem to want to be involved. Any sort of abuse needs to be addressed and spoken about, nipped in the bud so to speak so we don’t grow up in a culture of it.
Kev it also starts with societal attitudes that foster abuse in the young. Sometimes there is an attitude when boys are aggressive or rough physically or verbally with others that ‘boys will be boys’. I also experienced long term bullying at high school in the 80’s and the teachers were aware of it and rarely stopped it or spoke up about it. We all contribute to abuse even if we don’t actively feel we abuse others, as we can foster it with beliefs, and also by being bystanders or accepting it as normal.
Are we not in abuse to ourselves when we train a bit too hard in the gym and harden our bodies; eat a bit too much every meal; eat the foods that don’t agree with us because they taste good; drink liquids which poison us but get us accepted in the crowd; keep quiet to not cause waves; shut up when we should speak up for Truth; not go to the toilet immediately when we need to; shop or travel a little too much when we want to avoid dealing with Life; are we not abusing ourselves and others when we do this and have we honestly stood up and acknowledged this too? Without critique but in deep understanding that abuse has become so rampant and normal that it remains undetected, but it is affecting everything in our lives.
It has been an interesting observation that after several years of doing my best to live as loving and honouring as I can, I noticed the bar for what I consider love and decency has gone up and similarly many things I used to consider ‘normal’ in life I now consider quite abusive. Life forever brings us opportunities to expand and evolve, so many of us keep changing over a period. It is great to observe these areas once in a while to re-assess our current understanding and relationship with life.
Abuse happens in its macrocosmic and microcosmic ways…we all have our own definitions for abuse and have set our standards for it. And hence it is for each of us to realise the standard that we have set and where that lies – but in truth there is only one standard that is True, and this is the one that we are all evolving towards and with that does not allow an ounce of abuse, but only ever holds us all as the equal divine beings that we are.
To tolerate abuse IS abuse.
Abuse is very common and some people are just looking for an opportunity to abuse and it is important to live in a way that minimises those opportunities.
The abuse among school children today is shocking. Undealt-with trauma can lead very young people to drugs and self afflicted pain and suffering, even suicide. As this blog says it is so important that we address these issues now and not hide from the brutal reality of our times.
In a nutshell what all this is exposing is the lack of true love and care in which we hold ourselves and each other. If one considers that we are all love at essence and anything less than love is abuse, we as a society have fallen very far and have a very long way to go to return to our truth.
I have been accepting all kinds of levels of abuse at home and with friends for most of my life and I have also been an abuser on many levels. Yes, its not so nice to admit it but if we don’t even start there, then how do we change anything. And if we can’t start with ourselves, where do we start. We can’t point the finger when we still partake in the abuse and if we stand back and watch, we are just as responsible as the abuser.
To increase the awareness about abuse we need to raise the level of love known.
How can we otherwise recognise it.
Yes, so simply brought to its truth, how can we recognise abuse when we do not hold love for ourselves.
Yes, the more love we experience the more abuse in all its aspects becomes very visible.
It is great that we are admitting that there is more to abuse than the obvious extremes. We are such sensitive beings, even if we don’t act like it, so anything that creates disharmony between us or in the world is what we feel as abuse.
Fact is we underestimate greatly and turn a blind eye to how very abusive we live our lives.
The moment you deny or reduce your awareness you add to the corruption in this world.
Truth only asks to be expressed. It does not ask to be understood or agreed upon. It does not feed on niceties. It does not ask for anything in return.
I am coming to understand that I have not really understood the level of abuse that I have accepted as normal or not abusive.
Me too Jennifer, and I was thinking that if I had a bruise for every abusive word that gets expressed to me at times, I would look battered.
I agree Jennifer, abuse is so normalised in society and in our lives that we don’t even know we are doing it.
‘The more our awareness is raised, the more we tend to see abuse.’ – Yes, and we can bury our heads in the sand but the level of abuse will still be the same.