I recently visited family on the other side of the world. It was a long way to get there – three countries and a total of three days. I travelled standby with a young family and had to interact with a lot of people in order to secure getting on various planes.
There were some challenges along the way, but nothing that was not insurmountable; in fact, mostly it felt like an exciting adventure we embarked upon.
However, it could easily have given rise to an enormous amount of anxiety for me; especially because of the fact I was travelling with two children. But I have been addressing my anxiety for many years and now have tools to support me. So what could have been a tense journey was not at all tense for me… it was amazing confirmation of how I have supported myself out of what appears this global condition of anxiety.
As I continued my visit and travelled around, I was interested to observe these phenomena of anxiety; in fact, I observed a deep, deep anxiety that most people appear to be in. And it led me to continue to keep observing and gain a deeper sense of what actually lies at the root of anxiety.
What I could sense, and I have continued to since, is that people feel almost fearful. But fearful of what?
People appear fearful of not knowing how to be; they appear to be experiencing a deep unease and disconnection to a sense of who they are. There appears an unsettlement, a distress and a scrambling panic that ensues.
What I often observe is that when an interaction with anyone else then occurs, an intense anxiety seems to present as we worry that we are not going to be liked; we scramble to connect with the person in front of us but can only do so on a superficial level. Underneath the surface physical dialogue, there appears to be another silent dialogue occurring, which actually speaks the loudest. This expression seems to be communicating things like, “Do you like me if I say this, or act like this, or take on this opinion, this posture…?” And all of this creates a haywire communication; it blocks a natural connection. Each person in the interaction is distracted in the hidden communications, obstructing any opportunity for a steady stillness for true connection and interaction to occur.
An analogy would be like sparks of electricity or energy trying to connect. But it’s all going haywire. This to me explains why we seem so lost and at such unease with ourselves, because we are not actually being ourselves.
I’ve walked this journey and lived in intense anxiety all my life, and I am still fixing up the physical and psychological toll it has taken on my body.
But during the past few years I’ve dedicated myself to a knowing and loving of who I really am and it is this intention to know myself which has led to a deeper ease and self-confidence to be more myself in daily life. There’s always more to deepen and fix, but through self-care and self-loving choices, and supported in particular by Western and complementary medicine – including the Universal Medicine modalities, – I have deepened my acceptance of myself, and I am now far less anxious.
What felt like a very complicated journey was actually very simple, because scratch the surface and there I was. I’d spent so many years willingly giving my sense of who I was over to the outside world to layer over false identifications, the ‘me’ part was hard to find. But finding me I am!
And you know why it is so important to take this journey? Because, if one person in the interaction has an understanding of who they truly are and is steady in that, in a non-imposing-up-yourself confidence, then the other person is supported to connect to who they are. Back to the analogy; when there is just one solid wire emerging to connect with – and not many flailing all over the place – it is easier to make that connection.
It takes a while to shed the false layers of who we identify ourselves as. Education, media, even misguided parenting (with all best intentions), lead us often to feel that we need to be someone or something else. What I am learning is to see the ‘real’ person, and in that I’m more able to support others to make a connection to that true sense of themselves.
Could anxiety simply be not living all of who we really are? We can turn the tide and make the changes. It is possible. I have the scars and the joy to show for it…