Years ago, I started reading Serge Benhayon’s books and attending presentations with him and Universal Medicine. Over time much has changed for me and something that has particularly developed is a strong understanding of the importance of supporting and caring for each other.
A valuable source of assistance in learning to do this has been through reading blogs on the various websites by Universal Medicine students. These blogs have frequently highlighted what I have been feeling and thinking, but perhaps dared not express outwardly before, or the writer has given me new insight into a topic I hadn’t paid much attention to or didn’t know anything about previously. I have felt inspired and appreciative of those who have been willing to share their stories in writing and to readers for their broad ranging comments on articles.
I know I’m not alone in feeling daunted with honestly letting others know what is going on in my head and heart. Verbally expressing myself is often a big step; one filled with trepidation around how others might react. When I have spoken up, experience has taught me that often I have drawn surprising responses from others which has taken relationships to new depths. At other times, I’ve been challenged by reactions from the alternate end of the spectrum.
What I have noted however, is that written expression has its own set of self-imposed trials. While finding the writing of others, especially on the Universal Medicine student websites, often inspirational, I seldom contribute my own written material to such forums. Taking the time to honestly examine why this is the case has proved interesting with reasons including the following:
- Using the excuse of lack of time; telling myself I’ll get to it ‘later’, which of course, doesn’t happen.
- Comparing my level of writing skills to others; thinking that my writing style is boring for readers.
- Baulking when I feel a spark of enthusiasm by assuming the task will be laborious and unpleasant.
- Using negative self-talk to block further progress: “What if my views are deemed repetitive, nonsense, pathetic or just plain silly and therefore subject to ridicule?” or “Will others respond kindly and with interest or react aggressively to what’s been written, and I’ll end up humiliated and embarrassed?”
- Feeling concerned about the permanent nature of the written word with no control over where it ends up and the possible subsequent implications of this occurring.
When I stop and look back at what I have written here, it’s glaringly obvious that all my excuses are imbued with a desire to maintain the current status quo where written expression is concerned. Yet, if the writing scope is broadened from me in my individual self-protection mode to considering how my behaviour impacts on others, this avoidance seems indulgent, selfish and childish. It’s like I am expecting the world to support me while I go on a permanent holiday. However, placing writing in a compartment and treating it as separate from the whole, directly contradicts my values in terms of caring for and supporting others. I know that my behaviours impact either negatively or positively on others and therefore contribute to the overall quality of the world we live in.
At a societal level, our concern for the welfare of others affects how we care for our children, rates of illness and disease, how and where governments spend money, what’s legal and so forth, because collectively the standards accepted by the majority become the norm. While I can’t singularly change world environments, I know that it’s important that I play my part fully and that every little step counts.
The way I walk, talk, my level of openness and genuineness etc. all affect the quality of my relationships with myself and others. It can be a very warm, loving experience… or the opposite. When in reaction, the anger, defensiveness, blame, judgement, criticism etc. often feel like a physical blow to not just myself, but also for the other person. How can people stop to question the quality of the standards that are being set if there is nothing available to spark their awareness of how everything is interconnected to the whole, and that it’s up to us all to play our part in creating the type of world we would like to live in? Wouldn’t all this make it even more important that I made the time and effort to write and share it in the public domain?
The more I examined my excuses for not writing, the more I have learnt about myself and my relationship with others and the world. When I let go of this avoidance, including any attachments around the outcomes with the finished product, I now realise I am offering so much more than what it appears to be on the surface.
For instance, there is a level of intimacy and openness offered through a willingness to let others in, which is essentially what I am doing when I write something that others are reading. Readers can feel the quality in which I have shared my views; it’s like there is a certain vibration that invites a response from the reader. Of course it’s up to them if and how they respond, but the important thing is that I have offered an alternate ‘menu’ around a topic for others to consider. I have no way of knowing where others are at in their lives, so possibly what I write about is something they have been grappling with also. Perhaps this is the support they were looking for elsewhere but were unable to find? What might the ripple effect of this be? And what’s the impact of my holding back due to my own concocted box of beliefs etc.? Is that not irresponsible and simply adding to the current high levels of individual isolation for myself and others?
When I take this broader view and value writing as something that offers opportunity for both self-development and a form of service for humanity, I can feel the shifting of a self-imposed load off my shoulders that allows a spacious lightness and flow to enter. In the expansion my perceptions are sharpened.
This emerging capacity to take a helicopter view and consider things from this grander vantage point has undoubtedly been enhanced by the support offered through Universal Medicine, Serge Benhayon, fellow Universal Medicine students and practitioners. The seeds sown by this group of fellow travellers, who have committed to writing and sharing their wisdom, just highlight even more to me how important our expression truly is compared to the defeated sounds of silence.
By Helen Giles, Social Worker, Townsville, Australia