Poisoned through Self-Abuse

Abuse is a very huge box in which so many things are happening, without always showing any clear signs to the outer world. I would like to look into the box and share with you a kind of abuse that we can call ‘self-abuse’ – an abuse of our own body, maybe without the awareness that we do this, or seeing it as a form of abuse.

At the moment we hear a lot about abuse in the Catholic Church, in sport and recently in the movie world. People are sharing their experiences and this can be a beginning to bring abuse into the light. But there is a lot of abuse in the whole world that we don’t see or hear about. Or, could it be that we don’t want to look at it as a kind of abuse?

Some behaviours are so common and accepted that we are not aware of the effects they have on us. For instance, if we are talking with an angry person, we could say, “Just let him talk, as long as he doesn’t touch me.” Or when people are talking in a not so friendly way about someone behind their back. Or a songwriter writes songs about emotional times of his life that he is still sad about. What are we receiving in these moments?

If we know that “Everything is energy, and therefore, everything is because of energy (Serge Benhayon, 1999), then it’s logical that there must be consequences to all our behaviours, words, thoughts, actions and movements. This means that in fact we receive throughout the whole day all kinds of energies that are not directly visible. It requires an awareness to notice them and to allow ourselves to feel what happens in our body. Our body immediately responds to the energies and gives us signs, which are always our great marker.

These signs can be very physical and we are not always aware that they are the consequences of the choices we make in our life. Like, for example, an uncomfortable feeling in the body, cold knees, tense shoulders, bubbly stomach, making fists, losing attention, stiff neck. These are all communications from our body to ourselves that something is not right, either outside of us or inside of us.

It takes a level of awareness and responsibility to be open to and want to listen to the body and hear these messages. If we live our life without this connection to our body, then we will not hear them. It does not mean that they are not there. To be in connection with our body is so, so natural that it’s a very big question why we have lost it. Why do we live life in a kind of bubble and think that nothing can touch us unless we immediately have very clear signs?

I lived in this way for a very big part of my life. We all have our own reasons for making this choice, and for me it was a form of protection. It seemed easier to put myself in a kind of armour so that I would not have to deal with an energy that’s not from love. I found it difficult to deal with the things I felt around me and to accept that the world is like it is. I didn’t know how to handle my sensitivity and meanwhile felt the hardness, the disconnection, the suffering or emptiness of people. The reflection was too big and showed me my own struggle with life.

Whatever I did and wherever I was, I was in protection instead of staying with myself with an open heart. I abused my body by being in a hardness, shutting myself down, not being open with my whole heart, not expressing what was there to be expressed and by avoiding my sensibility. This meant that all my movements were made in and with that same hardness, a quality that was different from who I truly am. I didn’t consider the consequences of this to myself and to others. But what I know for sure is that energy goes everywhere and has an impact on everything.

My eyes were opened when I got psoriasis. Within a week I had spots on my whole body, like raindrops. I had light-therapy for this and it disappeared at first, but after two weeks it came back again. This was an invitation for me to look deeper to the roots of this and to be honest with it. As well as receiving conventional medical treatment, I also had some sessions with practitioners of Universal Medicine, which supported me in the process of understanding the underlying energetic causes of the psoriasis.

After one of these sessions, I understood exactly what the spots were really showing me. It was like I was walking through a nuclear building that was leaking radioactivity and when I came out the other end, of course I was poisoned. I was shocked to realise that I had walked through life like an open target. That I had absorbed many things that didn’t belong to me and that this was a kind of poison. For me it felt like a very huge form of abuse that was having an enormous effect on my health. I was swimming in the ocean with all others and picked up all the energies that did not belong to me.

I am learning that my body is constantly responding to my way of life and the choices I make. This asks me to be in connection with my body and to deeply care for myself. With these very clear signs on my skin, I cannot ignore the fact that my daily choices have an impact on my body. Instead of putting on the armour and thinking that this will protect me, I am learning to be open and allow myself to be sensitive, to be vulnerable, to be beautiful, to be powerful, to be precious, to be delicate… to be with me.

It helps me to put my focus on observing the external world, instead of absorbing its harmful energies, because when I am feeling my loveliness it is very obvious that such energies do NOT belong within me. This brings more understanding for my behaviour and that of others. If I can nominate what’s there and express it, then thoughts don’t come in and play their own game. There is more space for accepting myself, which results in more openness, more love.

Abusing my body, in any shape or form, is saying NO to myself, and why would I do that?

I now know that changing our world is just not about doing something outside of us. It is about living in the world in the fullness of who we truly are. I need my body to bring this expression into the world, so it is important that I take real care of it. I am learning to still swim in the sea with everybody, without wearing an armour as a protection, but with my own body as my guide.

By Peggy Verheijen, Teacher, Belgium 

Related Reading:
Self Care – ‘Walking the Talk’
Abuse – My Understanding So Far
The Art of Appreciation – Helping to Break the Cycle of Self Abuse

542 thoughts on “Poisoned through Self-Abuse

  1. There is a big difference between going through life wearing armour to cope and going through life open and full so that we are emanating our qualities, rather than sponging up what is going on around us. I am inspired by the latter approach.

  2. It is our greatest abuse to not love, honour and cherish the depth of the beauty we each are. From here all other abuses are born.

    1. It seems so small to not love, but as you say Liane, it is at the core of all the abuse in the world. It is all from the lovelessness we choose in life.

  3. ‘I now know that changing our world is just not about doing something outside of us. It is about living in the world in the fullness of who we truly are.’ I am so knowing this is to be true. I feel it as I walk and am practicing staying open and unprotected even when people are walking their dogs that I would have immediately assumed were scary looking and dangerous. Being open also means being connected and feeling when there is an actual threat, so it’s not being arrogant that there isn’t untoward energies about but also knowing that if I don’t come with judgement I can also present as being of little interest. If I stay in protection I only get to experience a life of contraction and fear, and not what’s actually going on or being there for people. There is so much joy and healing just in walking past someone and being open.

  4. We can be our own worst critic and our most loving lover… the choice is simply ours to choose.

    1. The latter again please! Being our most loving lover is an ever developing relationship with large doses of understanding, appreciation, respect and of course, love.

  5. Abuse comes in many shapes, flavours and sizes but no matter its form… it remains abuse.

  6. One way of abusing ourselves is to allow ourselves to be easily swayed by others, even though we have felt what is true for us we then give our power away to others.

  7. I’m finding that one of the biggest forms of self-abuse is not allowing myself to acknowledge how I am feeling, and also not expressing this. It leaves me with a whole load of unresolved stuff and a feeling of disempowerment.

  8. “Abusing my body, in any shape or form, is saying NO to myself, and why would I do that?” – a strong statement Peggy, and I agree with you, it is absurd when you put it like this, though although it may not occur in one’s thinking because it is an odd question to have and where one would have to agree [with you], abuse does unfortunately occur in our actions, as in, we very often do say no to ourselves because we have already said no to the actual living of (self) love. From our body comes the corresponding action. A body not already loving is a body already saying no to oneself and yes to being less than love i.e. abuse.

  9. I have found I can be so quick to blame others that I am not in fact looking at the way I 1st am treating myself and my body. The more love and care I treat my body with the more I almost command others to treat me the same way. The same goes for the more I disregard my body the more I ask others to do the same. It can be a vicious cycle thinking the world and everyone is out to get you when they are not it is just a reflection showing us the way we are living.

  10. Taking care of and listening to the communication from our body is the greatest responsibility of all, because we are committing to the absolute truth that is occurring in every moment.

  11. If we accept that everything is energy – do we willingly put ourselves in the firing line? Do we poke an energetic fire? Do we play games that cause reactions in others, do we hold back that imposes on others? Abuse can be very sneaky.

  12. Peggy thanks for writing this blog I am discovering that there are many layers to the abuse we all accept, and the more we peel away the layers the less abuse we accept from ourselves and then other people. We have all contributed to all the abuse we have in the world so we all have a responsibility to clear our mess up. To me the only way to do this is to become more aware of how we are with ourselves to clear ourselves first then I feel certain it will have a flow on effect for everyone else. We have to start somewhere after all.

  13. Shutting down our awareness to the wisdom of the body only delays the inevitable that we must feel the consequences of our non loving choices at some point. Often in the way of illness and disease.

  14. Being in life using our body as a guide that gives us a real marker of how we feel – it’s then for us to honour that.

  15. When we react to something or someone then it could often be because we experience the behaviour of the other as abusive. That may be the case but it may also be that their actions remind us of times when we have been abusive to ourselves or others even though their actual action was not abusive at all. A good example is somebody who is simply loving in their behaviour – it can trigger in others the uncomfortable awareness of how loving or not loving their own behaviour is.

  16. If we were to accept that self-abuse was a poison in the body then we would consider our choices more wisely.

  17. ‘my body is constantly responding to my way of life ‘ Thank you Peggy, this is absolutely the key – If only we would take a leaf out of the body’s book and respond back with the same level of love, diligence, care and honesty.

  18. Often we have these messages from the body and then wait for things to get worse before we pay attention or do something about it. The same thing plays out on a bigger scale, as in how bad does it have to get for humanity to pay attention.

    1. I do understand what you say Julie and you make a very good point. How we are going with all the abuse in our societies and in the world is clearly reflected in our bodies too. We are neglecting and trying to avoid, to not see and to think that everything is OK. But our bodies know. Our societies know and all suffer from these irresponsible choices.

  19. “This was an invitation for me to look deeper to the roots of this and to be honest with it.” I love how you say this was an invitation. We have become accustomed to seeing illness and disease as a threat, as a nuisance, as something to get rid of. What you are offering here for us is to look deeper, to be open to be more aware, to ask us, what is really going on.

  20. We poison and abuse ourselves so much – it’s often hard to tell the woods from the trees. But that doesn’t mean we should just give up and accept it as normal. Just experiment, investigate and go deeper with our Love.

    1. We can be on a vicious cycle or a virtuous cycle when it comes to abuse. We can change cycles at any time but the more time we spend on one cycle the easier it to either stay on that cycle or come back to it. To get on the virtuous cycle, basic self care does wonders.

  21. There is much to look at when we begin to consider all the ways we abuse our self. It is self-abusive for example to keep yourself up when you know it is time to take yourself to bed and go to sleep.

  22. I feel I have reached an understanding within myself that I went into protection and disconnect because I cannot bear the disconnection, suffering and or the emptiness of other people. I hate the fact that we have abandoned ourselves and have given up on God. I include myself in this description. I have come to understand that even though we may give up on God he has never given up on us. I now Understand that there is an energy that constantly wants to express the given upness through our bodies. When we abandon ourselves we actually abandon our bodies and in doing this it allows this other foul energy to enter into the space that is left and actually take control. As far fetched as this may sound – checking out of life and giving up is the worst thing we can do as we then give control of our bodies over to this other energy and we just have to look at our current way of living to see the damage it is wreaking on our society.

    1. Yes, when we give up on ourselves, strange things happen. These strange things are so common (depression, mental illness, serious physical changes) that we consider them normal but are they?

  23. Why is it that we continue to abuse ourselves long after we know that what we are doing is harmful to ourselves, we have patterns of repeating the same thing again and again like a hamster stuck on a wheel. Seeing life as energy first completely changes our perspective on life and from here it is easier to see and do something about our loveless choices.

  24. “I am learning to be open and allow myself to be sensitive, to be vulnerable, to be beautiful, to be powerful, to be precious, to be delicate… to be with me.” I melted reading this today, melted because you are learning to live with it, and that I am doing the same.

  25. The honouring of who we are in our sensitivity and glory is very special and makes all the difference to our lives our bodies and are awareness of ourselves and others with love as our standard and anything less being abuse . This sets the standard from within and is a reflection for the world from here.

    1. Honouring our sensitivity is a wonderful first step in saying no to abuse of any kind. As we go down the path of realising how sensitive we really are, there are many things that simply no longer match with the body.

  26. ‘Abusing my body, in any shape or form, is saying NO to myself, and why would I do that?’ – Yes indeed, we are constantly being bombarded from the society, media, friends, family etc. that it is ok to dismiss our own boundaries, not only that it is ok but we are in fact incouraged to override what we feel and push through. Hence abusing our own body becomes the norm.

  27. When I am the abuser of myself I cannot walk away. What you’ve offered here is gold. The great irony is that when I want to protect myself from a world I think is bigger than me, I am actually cutting myself off from my greater asset – my sensitivity and fragility. This is an abuse in itself and leads to very obvious abusive behaviours because I want to avoid feeling hurt. Once I start to really understand the dynamics at play I no longer have to fear the world but simply say yes to feeling it all and standing by my side. In this I also get to understand people and no longer wanting to run away.

  28. What you show Peggy is how much we affect the body when we don’t honour our sensitivity vulnerability and tenderness, and choose to harden ourselves against the world instead.

    1. Well said Alison. If we chose to not honour our sensitivity we either have to harden, protect or numb ourselves.

  29. Our body is communicating with us all of the time but as you say Peggy . . .
    “It takes a level of awareness and responsibility to be open to and want to listen to the body and hear these messages.” . . . we poison ourselves when we refuse to connect to what our body is communicating to us.

  30. “I now know that changing our world is just not about doing something outside of us. It is about living in the world in the fullness of who we truly are.” This has been something I have come to understand and appreciate. The more I live in my fullness of who I truly am and walk/reflect that, that is plenty for the world, I don’t need to go into the energy of doing.

  31. I’m observing the beauty of choosing spaciousness and being with me, above checking out with TV to fill an inner emptiness.

    1. And the long term impact of this is beyond my immediate understanding. I actually enjoy this sense of not knowing exactly what will happen, whilst being surer and surer that living life in connection with myself is the only thing that makes sense.

  32. The example that you give of the song-writer is a fascinating one. The ‘danger’ of music is that we are so conditioned to totally open ourselves up to it, it’s what we all do, without any discernment; truly we get “lost in music”….and then all these emotions get dumped in our body. But where music is particularly problematic is that we are then left with this poison in our body and have no idea where it came from…at least when someone shouts in our face we know exactly what is going on and can choose to deal with it there and then. Music sneaks, undetected, in the back door.

    1. I know what you mean Otto, I can be in a store and catch myself taken with the music, even singing along to remembered lyrics, very sneaky how this happens. Then there are other times when I feel so assaulted by overly emotional lyrics in piped music, I leave the store.

      1. What I am beginning to learn (and when I say ‘beginning’, I really mean just that!) is that it’s not even about how the instruments are played or what volume the music is at. You’d think that heavy metal would be more abusing than a piece of gentle classical music. But it’s got nothing to do with the physicality of the music – the notes, the instruments, the volume…it is all to do with what energy is coming through the music, what energy it was made in, and what energy was coming through its creators. It’s a huge science and humanity is miles away from accepting or understanding it….whilst, almost everywhere we go now, music of one sort or another is being fed to us.

      2. Further to this…”passive smoking” has been one of the big health issues of the last couple of decades. When I was a kid no-one even considered it. Cars, airplanes, restaurants, houses were all filled with smoke…yet, now it’s an absolute no-no. Maybe one day we will have exposed ‘passive music’ in the same way. The only thing is, there is nothing passive about music, in that we willingly open ourselves to it and drink it into our bodies.

      3. Good point Otto, ‘passive music’ an apt description. There are very few places where music is not played. I was somewhere yesterday where staff complained about the constant background music, they have no control over but are instructed from up high to comply and play. And of course music not only streams poison into our bodies, it is a profitable income stream for the music industry

    2. I agree we get conditioned to open up to music, but first comes the conditioning that emotions are normal and desirable and that they are the way we can express ourselves. Even love that we know as pure and unconditional as kids is reinterpreted and lumped in with these emotions. This means that when we listen to music we accept the emotional dumping of the artists and do not discern what we are feeling.

      1. This is a great and huge point. Indeed music (and countless other things; books, movies, tv etc) are all praised for exactly this; “it made me feel so emotional”…. etc…as you say the currency of ’emotions’ carries enormous value. Until this is exposed for the toxic transfusion that it is then we will never be ready to unravel the poison of music.

    3. It sneaks in undetected and then we move our body with it. The movement cements what we let in and now we are on a path that was not ours to go down.

      1. Well said. It is an exact science that needs to be learnt and exposed. But then, as I write this, I realise that it is already learnt and is already known – and is precisely, for example, why shops play pipe music into their stores. The less of you that you are, the more of them that you buy in to.

  33. Today I was able to see the extent that I have been willing to continuously abuse myself and with this awareness I can now start to change.

  34. It is great, humbling and most revealing to honestly reflect on all that ways we can self-abuse. It is an evolving awareness – we can always bring more Love.

    1. I agree Jenny, the deeper we go with the honesty we can truly reflect on all ways we can self-abuse. It truly is a constant evolving of awareness and understanding, by bringing more love.

  35. Wow, Peggy – it was so lovely to feel the absolute honesty and understanding that you are embracing in your relationship with your body. When I allow myself to be vulnerable I too am ‘ shocked to realise that I had walked through life like an open target’ and as I sense a greater depth of awareness of everything around me and the impact that I can feel as I live day to day I can also feel the magic of God is there forever calling me to return.

  36. Something I have found is that to be abused by another I 1st have to abuse myself. This may be by something seemingly small such as dismissing and not honouring what I am feeling and overriding it, or the more obvious ones such as eating or drinking things I know are not supportive to my body and then all the self bashing thoughts. But for me it starts from not accepting myself and standing with the authority of the truth I know. Then it allows an opportunity for another to allow abuse through, directed at me otherwise I would not have the opening and so whilst it may come it would not affect me.

  37. The reason we attack and abuse our body is because the body is the vehicle that allows God to come through. And when God is unreservedly being let through to express through you, we are just a vehicle, no recognition as individual, we don’t want to let that go, nor want to be powerful and not fit in.

  38. The body is incredibly honest and pain is one of the loudest ways it gets our attention. We can pretend we don’t absorb what is going on around us as long as we want but our body will, at some point, let us know in no uncertain terms that it does.

    1. Body is our best friend as it will never lie to us, it is constantly working behind the scene clearing and healing in the background. If we ignore the signs of abusing it, it will speak louder by making us stop with warnings.

    1. That was my experience too, I had no understanding and awareness prior to meeting Serge Benhayon. The depth of awareness and ageless wisdom I have been awakened to with the support of Serge Benhayon is out of this world.

  39. Abuse in the world is huge and can feel overwhelming when we listen to the latest sex abuse scandals from priests in the Catholic Church .. another one revealed today in the news. Starting with ourselves is the only way forwards to not abuse ourselves or accept abuse from anyone in any form.

    1. It’s not like this abuse is new news; it’s been going on for decades, for centuries. So where have we been whilst this has all been happening under our noses? And, as you say, is it possible that abuse begets abuse? And thus how we are in our homes and communities actually feeds and enables the abuse that is carried out within the confessional boxes, vestries, dormitories and studies of these religious institutions.

  40. We can poison ourselves through self-abuse more so than through eating all the worst kinds of food.

    1. We sure can yet we can get so caught up on the food factor and make it the be all and end all. Yet we do not eat 24/7 (well most of us anyway) and so there has to be more that is affecting us otherwise it owuld not make sense. Food is great though as it is a very tangeable marker we have, it is the more subtle emotional forms of abuse and self-abuse which can be sneakier to catch.

    2. It is hard thing to understand but it is very true, most of us have been living in this way of self-abusing and not realising that we have been doing this to ourselves. Serge Benhayon is the person I know of who has brought this to humanity in away that can be understood.

  41. Bringing awareness to our bodies and what we feel As you say is taking responsibility for what we are living and expressing. To be open to see everything and listen to what the body is telling us.

  42. Being super loving with and caring for ourselves is such an integral part of life that needs to be brought back into all our lives, as without the care and love we have for ourselves there will be no care nor love for anybody or anything else. And we all deserve deep love and care.

  43. I am starting to appreciate the abuse that our thoughts can have on us. With out even realising it we can go through a marathon of abuse just by the thoughts we have. Understanding the teachings of Serge Benhayon and seeing the energy we are choosing and how that influences and determines the thoughts we have really explains why we do have the thoughts that we do have.

    1. And with this understanding I am better equipped to make the choice as to whether to allow them in or not – a choice that I don’t always make, but at least I now know what I am doing. Thank you to Universal Medicine for giving me the tools to dissect the game of life.

  44. By saying no to non loving choices we are in fact saying yes to the love that we are in essence.

    1. Agreed Jenny, when we say No to something we are always saying yes to something else. I vote for no to what is not loving and by virtue we are choosing what is loving.

    2. The more we choose to say YES the more is on offer to expand and grown in true service to ALL.

    3. That has been my first step to true recovery is to say no to non loving choices and allowing the true love to flow through, what a life changer it has been.

  45. The moment we lack awareness of what is happening we absorb what is happening. Now, if only overeating wouldn’t reduce our awareness….

  46. There is a real strength and power in being super sensitive, in that it enables us to actually read situations and feel the energetic reasons behind people’s behaviours, so we can then have understanding and avoid the absorbing of everyone’s issues through reaction that result in illness and disease. Shutting down that sensitivity to protect yourself from the hurt of it doesn’t work, as we never stop feeling anyway. It is a trick to think you are actually protecting yourself in the end through hardening because there is actually more harm being done to our bodies in that reaction.

    1. Yes, super sensitive without needing to react more than the situation warrants. That works.

    2. Beautifully said – I’m discovering that in order to read life and feel it energetically I have to allow my super sensitivity. Shut that off and life is only really what you see. But there is so much more that what you see, and we all have the sensitivity to feel it.

    1. We start now with our own changes which then reflect to others and it is through reflection and the ripple effect will soon everyone we be on the same page and we will have re-written the culture of absue.

    1. The key words here are ‘hold back’; and what you say makes so much sense because to ‘hold back’ or reduce any natural growth or expansion must require a negative ingredient of some sort…a poison.

    2. Everything in life has to be full. If we hold back then we are not filling what is there to be filled. What is not us then comes into fill that space and that is what the poison is.

  47. The only way to stop being so affected by everything outside of ourselves is through self-love and deep care. There is no quick fix that can do this for us, it is all governed by our choices to take care of ourselves or not.

  48. Peggy I feel as children we are sensitive and when this is not appreciated or honoured then it is very difficult for children to hold onto their sensitivity when all around them they feel and see a society that has lost it’s sensitivity and crushes anyone who shows any signs of it. We have replaced sensitivity with all forms of abuse which we seemingly find far more acceptable, how lost are we ?

    1. That is true, we don’t confirm to children that feeling things going on around us is a thing and in so doing we perpetuate the game that is incredibly abusive for generations. We are, however, each responsible for taking the next step and choosing for that not to be our normal and to walk it, not just talk it, as there are many children who do not walk away from their innate knowing and that reflection can be a very powerful reflection

    2. Under this same banner, I am ‘re-parenting’ this ‘child-asset’ in me. We all have it innately, no matter how old, what has happened or how buried it may be and we all need to nurture it back to being our normal.

  49. “Abusing my body, in any shape or form, is saying NO to myself, and why would I do that?” – we only say no to something we do not love. The more we love, the less we abuse. And when there is abuse there is the call for us to deal with that abuse through deepening the level of love that we already have. Love through (self) understanding is how we can complete patterns of abuse.

  50. It is super important for us to take real care of our bodies. When we begin to do this we begin to see more of how we have not. Not to feel guilty but so that we can deepen the level of care. With that we see that there is no end point to reach with how we can care for ourselves.

  51. There seems to be a distinction between being aware of the symptoms a body is showing and being able to read the underlying energetic cause for that condition, and I would so love to be able to read straight off what exactly is the root cause of any and every condition, but I also am aware that we all need to make our own journeys with our own bodies, as forever students of the whole intelligence that each body holds.

    1. I agree Shami. A wealth of wisdom is there to access; but I feel that the most important step in this is that first big YES. ‘Yes, I agree that the way I have been living and the choices that I have been making has been abusive, yes, I want to change, yes, show me what is going on, yes I am open to listening to what my body is telling me.” If we say this first big YES, then the learning can start and the tap-of-wisdom opens.

  52. ‘It takes a level of awareness and responsibility to be open to and want to listen to the body and hear these messages.’ – Indeed it does, our body keeps continually signalling what is going on. However we can easily shut down our awareness with all sorts of distractions, to avoid having to take responsibility.

  53. The amount of self abuse we inflict on ourselves in life is enormous and this is a great expose of what is going on to look at and start bringing honesty and change to our lives and hence to the level of abuse in the world everywhere.

  54. I have learnt that if I do not honour what I am feeling energetically in any situation then I am much more likely to ‘take on’ and absorb abusive energy into my body which does feel toxic like a poison. I then seek to do other things to stop feeling this which only adds to the problem. So the key really is in the full observation of what is happening not just physically but energetically as well.

    1. The energy of abuse feels awful in the body and no matter how subtle it is, the poison is just as harmful.

  55. I have seen that re-visiting old events and emotions like a class reunion can lead to a participant having trouble sleeping all night and even a single beer in such context having a big effect even though the event itself was good natured and gentle – the act of revisiting can be enough.

  56. To fully understand the effects of self abuse and abuse in the world, without getting sucked in to identifying with the struggle and things being ‘too hard’, it requires a deep lever of observation and understanding.

    1. Great point Susie – it is easy to get lost in the drama of it rather than seeking to truly understand what is at play.

  57. Judgement on another, however small or expressing hate against a particular person is a highly toxic poison to our body.

  58. “I am learning that my body is constantly responding to my way of life and the choices I make.” this makes perfect sense as I know when I am loving with myself my body feels that and responds, when I am not loving I feel super bad in my body. Simple but a great reflection of my day.

  59. When we are truly honest with what is going on in our body, there is an entire universe of information available to us right there.

    1. Yes, the honesty allows us to observe – as simple as it sounds it is difficult to observe if we are not honest.

  60. We have an expression that when we are in the mud we cannot see anything but the mud and this is true, if we are abusive towards ourselves we will be abusive towards others because that’s what we know. When we increase our awareness to how we are with ourselves and make the choice and put in the work to look at what gets in the way to stop us from being more loving, this naturally changes how we are with others. So if we really want to change the horrors that we have in this world it starts with us as individuals, we have all contributed to our current society as individuals we are the ones that need to clean our mess up.

  61. “I now know that changing our world is just not about doing something outside of us. It is about living in the world in the fullness of who we truly are.” So true Peggy and to do that requires us to listen and respond to the innate wisdom of the intelligence of the body, which is far greater than that of the mind.

  62. Thank you Peggy for your honest and deep sharing of your experience. It feels very revealing and takes me to reflect too in my own self-abuse patterns. Sometimes doesn’t feel so obvious, but are there. Being in contraction is a consequence of them, so take care of my body and honour its delicateness helps me to be aware of what is going on and not harden it.

  63. Thanks for sharing your experience with psoriasis, Peggy, and the energetic meaning of this condition. I had never really heard of psoriasis until I woke one day and found large sections of my torso and legs covered as if I had been splashed with water droplets. This was well before my becoming a student of Universal Medicine, but it was huge wakeup call that all was not well with my body. Looking back I can see psoriasis was a blessing in disguise, as that is when I started looking at what might be behind its happening and started tuning into to how my body felt after eating certain foods etc.
    That was thirty or more years ago and apart from a few persistent spots on my lower legs, the psoriasis has all but gone – time to look closely at where else I am still denying my sensitivity or absorbing energies that are not even mine in the first place.

  64. “I was shocked to realise that I had walked through life like an open target. That I had absorbed many things that didn’t belong to me and that this was a kind of poison” – and this just shows that this supposed suits of protective armour that we think we are wearing, dont really work at all. It is an illusion – and one that I have fallen for on many occasions.

  65. How amazing is it to surrender to the body and feel our essence and then let go of any form of protection so we open our hearts and let everything in to feel the Love we all share. True Love is the only way to alleviate any ill way of being. As you have shared Peggy; “It is about living in the world in the fullness of who we truly are.”

  66. ‘These signs can be very physical and we are not always aware that they are the consequences of the choices we make in our life.’ – This is not something that is being taught to us as young, and hence we go through life unaware of the impact of our own choices. This then gets repeated in the next generation and so on, in a constant merry go round.

    1. Understanding how we perpetuate things simply by ignoring our bodies and the sign posting they offer, is a fascinating study of how we get ourselves into predicaments and patterns.

  67. I often want to see how much I can ‘get away with’, and continue to run with choices that I know do not support me. This makes no sense, because when I am making truly loving and supportive choices I feel so amazing. It’s crazy how we do this and choose abuse over love.

  68. We poison ourselves whenever we react to something and take it into our bodies. The antidote is to constantly read and call out the energy that is in front of us, like the intention of someone doing what they are doing or saying something, then it stays outside our body.

  69. Thanks to Universal Medicine I am once again learning to acknowledge the energy we all feel but have toned down to not feel through one reason or another. People seem to be talking more and more about energy these days and we are more likely to express what we feel without fearing ridicule.

  70. The effects are huge when we start make our first steps in Taking deeper care about the body.

    1. I found it quite hard at first, it was like wading through mud but the more I took the steps the lighter and brighter I felt. Well worth the choice to deepen the care and love we are with ourselves.

  71. Self-abuse is very simple if we don’t have a regard for ourselves and many people don’t want to be ‘selfish’ or life is so difficult that some abuse of the body seems worth doing for the numbing it brings. There are much better alternatives than abuse.

  72. Poison doesn’t always come in the form of a bottle – it can be an emotion or even just a habit that prevents us from having clarity.

    1. Very true, so often we think of it purely as somethign we ingest but some of the most insidious forms of poison I have found are emotions especially when we take them on from others reactions. Atleast if we ‘poison’ ourselves with food we have something to attribute it to whereas with emotions it can be hard to catch them.

  73. I am realising more and more how much life is set up to keep us in the dark, far away from truth and by staying disconnected from our bodies we will keep us there forever more. Only through reconnecting with our bodies and learning to once again feel energy will we be able to identify truly all the abuse that goes on whether it be in the world or if it is self inflicted and then do something about it.

  74. It has been tempting to see myself as a victim of abuse in my life but the more I sit with it the more I see that I have inflicted abuse in myself through what I have allowed.

  75. Any thing that is not absolute love is abuse. With that in mind how much abuse do we put up with?

  76. We like to think that in protecting ourselves from the world and possible hurts that we are in fact protecting our bodies. In fact the very opposite is true, for every movement that we make in order to keep the world out must be felt within the body. It actually hurts us to act against our truly sensitive and tender nature.

  77. ‘Abusing my body, in any shape or form, is saying NO to myself, and why would I do that?’ – This is such a great question, why indeed would we want to abuse ourselves when most of us would not have allowed anyone else to treat us in such a disregarding way.

  78. So much hides under the surface that we can ignore until it becomes so ugly that we have to address it. It seems we are governed by fear of rocking a boat that is sinking anyway!

    1. So true Lucy, so don’t rock the boat jump in and “learning to still swim in the sea with everybody, without wearing an armour as a protection, but with my own body as my guide.”

  79. Taking on emotions from around us is hard for our bodies to deal with, as it’s a poison that just doesn’t belong in us. Being aware of the ways we allow this is a gradual process that reveals more subtle layers over time. It makes sense that if we don’t allow this abuse in our bodies that our health and wellbeing can only benefit.

  80. Our thoughts have such a critical effect on us but what I have really started to understand and see more clearly with the awesome support of Serge Benhayon and the teachings of Universal Medicine is that we don’t actually think what we think. We align to a source of energy and this is clearly exposed when abuse, be it self or towards another, is at play as the example of this blog shares.

  81. We do not have any honesty with the extent to which we are poisoning our bodies with abuse, we can feel it, we know it is like we get kick out of the highs and lows.

  82. It is so easy to look to others and blame them for our woes but what responsibility are we taking for where we are at and exactly what is happening to us. We can say blame someone for shouting at us or getting angry but what if we set if up by the way we were living and approached the person and it was not from the love we are and so the person reacted to that? The more I choose to see what is before me rather than trying to interpret it in a certain way to fit the picture I have created the more I get to understand life and how there is far more going on than purely what meets the eyes.

  83. “Abusing my body, in any shape or form, is saying NO to myself, and why would I do that?”. We have all sorts of reasons for why we abuse our body but none of them are valid. Our body is our best friend if we allow it to be and deserves to be treated with respect and honour.

  84. “Our body immediately responds to the energies and gives us signs, which are always our great marker.” This is simply the truth.. It is the greatest truth we can give ourselves — to have an intimate and open relationship to our whole body. To clock and feel everything that is there to feel and understand what and how to respond to what is next. Its abuse not to.

  85. Some forms of abuse even come in a gift box, as things to celebrate and favour, idealised as good, better, best – this is the abuse hardest to recognize as it is sugar coated with a flavour that appeals to our needs like recognition, acknowledgement etc.

  86. Every layer of protection we put on ourselves is a layer that must be dropped. Not only do they actually not work we must return to feel everything that we have not felt or blocked from our awareness.

  87. Before there can be abuse through another there is abuse of self: let go of who you are and you are abused by what you are not.

    1. Yes, can we abuse others if we haven’t abused ourselves first? Is that even possible?

      1. I do not feel it is possible Christoph, after all if we are being love with ourselves then how could we be anything but love with another? So as you say 1st we surely have to have abused ourselves.

  88. We often find it easy to give advice to others that we do not follow ourselves regarding self-abusive actions. Time to sort ourselves out first then offer a reflection of that to others.

  89. When we don’t put those self expectations on ourselves, it is much easier to just be loving and stay connected to the vulnerability.

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