Category: MENTAL HEALTH

From A False Foundation of Abuse to a True Foundation of Self-Love

This is my story of a life of abuse… and where it began…

Learning to Trust and Rely on No-One…

As a young child I grew up with only my father and one of my younger sisters, as my mother moved interstate one day with my oldest and youngest sisters and her new husband, unbeknownst to me and my sister. At that stage of my life I was attending primary school around the corner from her house. On the day she moved, I was about 8, I felt very strongly to go to her home. When I got there I saw a removalist truck pulling out with one of my sisters sitting in the front and my mum’s car driving away down the road. I was devastated. I knew this was goodbye and I lost two of my best friends and my mum from right under my nose.

From this I learnt a lot: I decided it was best not to listen to my feelings as they may lead me into great pain, and that just because I was born into a family this did not give me the right to expect to be a part of it, and that you can trust and rely on no-one because at any point in time they can disappear right from under you.

Continue reading “From A False Foundation of Abuse to a True Foundation of Self-Love” →

Appreciation and a True Smile Back

Have you noticed how many parents instruct their children to smile back or say ‘hello’ when you first meet them?

In my part-time work at a supermarket checkout many families come through every day and I enjoy looking into the eyes of the babies and children because I find that in the way they look at me they are truly seeing me and feeling who I am, exploring who or what is there to be felt. So I look at them and sometimes I can feel that we are truly connected in that moment and nothing more needs to be said or done.

But the parents, wanting their child to ‘be polite’, often instruct the child to smile back or say hello: it feels like they are being asked to perform on behalf of their parents. Continue reading “Appreciation and a True Smile Back” →

The Abuse of Alcohol – The True Harm

I recently read about a woman’s experience of alcoholism in her family detailing the abuse of alcohol and its ‘second-hand’ effects on her, and as I read I found my eyes darting as if not wanting to read and feel all that was being presented.

As I read the blog I could feel my own agony of living in a familiar feeling – my own household as a young boy would lurch from sunshine to violence through the use and continued abuse of alcohol. Even as I write this I can feel the questioning of that statement – it wasn’t every day, or every week – and this is how we can allow and not claim that even once is too much, and too many times.

Continue reading “The Abuse of Alcohol – The True Harm” →

Writing in a Journal and the Power of Honesty

I woke this morning feeling out of sorts – flat and weary, with a sore lower back. I began writing simply but honestly in my journal. I asked myself, “how could I feel this way when I had just woken from a full night’s sleep?” I asked how yesterday had been, what had been disturbing me, and what I had done when I had felt disturbed. I wrote down exactly how my body felt physically and more generally, I wrote how I felt. As I wrote I had more clarity on my weariness, and felt beyond the sense of flat, to sadness, to a feeling of being a little bereft. I wrote as honestly as I could about the things that had been happening that triggered those feelings.  Continue reading “Writing in a Journal and the Power of Honesty” →

How to Study without Stress… Yes!

I am in the middle of my exam period of the first semester of my first year in the study of dentistry. I have been pondering on how to study without stress and maintain a healthy lifestyle, just like in the days when I do not have exams going on.

I always keep caring for myself during the exam period at University; it does not make any sense to me to stop with everything I am normally doing and only focus on studying and eating TV dinners as I see many of my fellow students do. Continue reading “How to Study without Stress… Yes!” →

Communicating with, and Talking to People – No longer Calibrating my Expression

I am becoming aware that when I am talking to people I adjust the way I express and communicate according to how I feel the listener will receive my words.

When I’m talking, I often hold back and don’t fully express what I want to say because I am afraid of the person’s response, or how they may feel, or what they will think of me – this last one in particular is a big one for me. Continue reading “Communicating with, and Talking to People – No longer Calibrating my Expression” →