by Robyn Jones, Menai, Australia
I have been deeply inspired by what I have been reading and feeling in what people have shared about their experiences with Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon. So much so, that the call to add my own contribution is too great to deny, nor do I want to deny it.
We have been given an amazing opportunity to share with the world what we have found within ourselves through the support and love of Serge and Universal Medicine.
For me, I knew something was amiss in the world at an early age. I struggled to understand why people didn’t want me to be how I felt inside, which was; strong, tender, sensitive, delightful, insightful, lovely. Instead people around me gave me a lot of signals to be anything but all of that. They wanted me to comply, to not ‘rock the boat’, to not speak truth or challenge what they said, to stay quiet in the background (be invisible) and not cause trouble, and most certainly to not be ‘difficult’. So, to a big extent I did all of these things that were directly or indirectly asked of me. But I felt terrible, and I didn’t know how to go back to how I used to feel as a young child, and so I started to feel anxious. I felt lost, and this felt scary.
So, for almost thirty years I did what I could to get through life, all the while still feeling lost, with the anxiety ever increasing, and not knowing how to help myself. I went to all kinds of practitioners – all kinds of doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists, kinesiologists, reiki practitioners … and more. I even went to university and studied psychology. Nothing truly helped.
By the time I was 26 I was exhausted and desperate. I ended up initiating a nervous breakdown because I had just about given up completely on ever feeling like myself again. At age 28 I was hospitalised with a massive allergic reaction and my central nervous system on the verge of collapse (with no apparent physical reason that could be found by the doctors). I was treated for the allergic reaction with the treatments that were available at the time. These helped me get back on my feet, with an adequate amount of physical function that was enough to get me through what had become one agonising day after another. However, nothing had changed around my feeling lost and anxious in every moment of every day. I thought this was going to be the way my life was to be until I died – and honestly, quite frequently I really looked forward to that day so the agony I was feeling would stop.
I met Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine four years later. Serge was the first person that really understood what I was feeling. I observed that he was this way with everyone. He seemed to understand so much more than I could comprehend. He showed me how to re-connect to myself, to the part of me that I thought I had lost. He has supported me to strengthen this connection to myself – firstly by being himself, and secondly by presenting different ways for me to heal myself (to let go of all that is not me, which I had accumulated along the way from trying to be what others around me wanted me to be).
What has been shown to me, very clearly, through my redevelopment over the last four and a half years, is that I had walked away from having a foundation of my true self, and instead walked towards building my foundation from what everyone else wanted me to be. I was therefore living, or more accurately existing, from a foundation that was unstable, as it kept changing every time someone’s expectations of me changed. Therefore, I had to adjust to the new conditions, and this then applied to every person I came into contact with. If I was in a group I would basically be constantly adjusting how I thought I should be in order to meet everyone’s expectations. Wow! That sounds exhausting and anxiety provoking, doesn’t it? Never really knowing what you are doing or who you are meant to be.
Today I am more ‘Me’ than I have been in a very long time. The intense anxiety I used to feel has decreased significantly, and I even have moments of no anxiety – and these are increasing in their frequency. Replacing the anxiety are feelings of natural strength, fragility, insightfulness – all the feelings I remember having as a kid. I am also slowly getting my healthy body back. This will take some more time, as the many years of stress and anxiety my body has endured have taken their toll, but nothing has shown up yet that cannot be reversed by a good dose of self-care, true love, and medical assistance when necessary.
All this is possible because one man stood up and said; life can be different, we don’t have to suffer, we don’t have to be in pain (physically or emotionally), we can live with joy, harmony, stillness, love, honour and integrity, we can live responsibly. This one man was, and is, Serge Benhayon.
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
i wonder how many people are experiencing life like you’ve described here Robyn, and would benefit in the same way you have by receiving support from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine? I know for me I felt like I’d tried everything to help myself, and this went on for decades but that terrible inner agony or loss or emptiness was still there, and at the age of 41 I came to my first Universal Medicine workshop and everything began to change – at last I found in Serge someone speaking the truth, respecting and caring for people equally (yes, even women), and providing complementary therapies that worked to heal what was going on inside me. After over two decades of seeking help and not finding it what Serge offered really stood out because it was the real deal.
I agree with you Richard I tried various modalities none of which worked and left me feeling even more deflated with life. Coming across Serge Benhayon was a much needed break through because by attending the workshops and presentations I actually felt that what he said make sense there is another way and it is truly beautiful to feel it comes from within me and not from outside of me. That changes everything because we are led to believe everything happens outside of us. I now know this is a whopping lie that we have become entrapped by.
Robyn I can so relate to your childhood and the trauma one then lives with that never goes away no matter who you see or what you do it is there constantly and colours everything action, thought, word or deed.
Like you meeting Serge Benhayon was a turning point in my life as he does seem to understand life in a way that very few people do. Serge Benhayon presents a simple way of living on a basis of take or leave it attitude. There is no rah rah but a philosophy and science that has withstood the ravages of time and will continue to do so because the truth will always be there. We have been lied to on so many different levels so deeply it is ingrained within us, but the truth is like water it gets into every nook and cranny and eats away at the lies until they are exposed and only the truth is left.
Serge Benhayon has supported so many of us to transform our lives, this man is a Godsend, ‘All this is possible because one man stood up and said; life can be different, we don’t have to suffer, we don’t have to be in pain (physically or emotionally), we can live with joy, harmony, stillness, love, honour and integrity, we can live responsibly. This one man was, and is, Serge Benhayon.’
I can certainly relate to this imposition when I was young, as I also know many others do, ‘They wanted me to comply, to not ‘rock the boat’, to not speak truth or challenge what they said, to stay quiet in the background (be invisible) and not cause trouble, and most certainly to not be ‘difficult’.’
I wonder if any of the medical or mental health practitioners were able to approach your anxiety from what was happening in your whole life perspective, or if it was treated as a condition isolated from everything else in your life? It makes sense to me that the source came from being separated from your true self and performing to the expectations of others. If we consider that the whole system of life, including ideals and beliefs moulding us about gender, and the education system and it’s focus on what we do and not who we essentially are, then global rates of anxiety make sense.
Is it Possible we are addicted to the “try hard” aspect of life because we feel we can improve what we already have? So saying yes to our “innate” awareness that come from reconnecting to our essences is not even sought? So we like the game and play it until the Truth of our divine essence is sought as our only Truly-Loving choice!
When we choose to constantly evolve, there is absolutely nothing in life we ‘Just have to put up with’. Instead we respond to life by seeking within to explore the ‘whys’ of what is happening inside and around us until we find understanding.
We underestimate greatly with how much anxiety we go through life just due to the simple fact that we do not allow ourselves to just be ourselves in every moment but have learned to fit in and adapt.
What really strikes me about this article, about your sharing, is how so many people – including myself – could relate to this feeling of not belonging, of being lost and hence of giving up and then watching a tidal wave of illness come crashing through your life. The sad part here being that all we ever truly need is to know how to deeply love and care for ourselves.
Yes, so many of us if not all can relate to this feeling of not belonging and how crazy is it then that we think we are alone with this and keep it to ourselves instead of coming together and sharing and seeing what this is all about.
We may become what ‘they’ want. Yet, what they may want is in no case us although be accepting it, we become them in our movements.
When we live from our essences life and all its so called issues start to dissolve then life starts to become one of Joy-full-ness and Harmony as we start to live with a forever Deepening Humble-Appreciative-Ness.
I am forever indebted to that one man who said that life doesn’t have to be this way, because until that moment I think I was treading water with no real understanding that I was in so much danger of drowning in my own stress and overwhelm.
I love how you describe it as a redevelopment and that you have the understanding and patience to know your body will take time to recover from the toils of life. It’s an amazing process redeveloping a natural and more authentic way of living.
It is so debilitating to not understand how to get underneath the anxiety. Your story shared here is groundbreaking for people who do not feel the tension and anxiety will ever end. It is not a quick fix but with dedication and commitment to re-connecting with that sense of true self there is another way.
No wonder we are anxious when we don’t know who we are, how to behave and what to be in every situation. It’s like being a chameleon, forever changing and adjusting to the environment and the prevailing mood and flavour the day.
Once I learned to be myself and express my truth regardless of what others thought of me, levels of anxiety held for many years simply fell away.
Yes Robyn we walk away from the foundation we have within and then we start to walk demands, ideals and beliefs from others to have a foundation, and that’s not what I call a true foundation as there is only insecurity and anxiousness to live up to what the outside world is expected from us. Now I know I have a solid foundation within, my connection with God and when I waver I know where to go to.
Serge Benhayon has shown us how life is far more simple when we live from love first, and he has shown us how through making simple changes to our life we are able to reconnect back to the love we have always been.
Yes and they are very simple, so simple that we have to wonder why on earth they were not our normal in the first place…
If our foundations are based on what is out there they are sand, whereas those built from our understanding and knowingness of us, from the inside out .. these are our true foundations.
When you put it like this Robyn I would say that most of the world probably feels anxious most of the time, because we are all pressured to live in a way that is not the natural ease and lightness we enjoyed as children. We have created a society and systems that crush, denature, reduce and twist our innate wisdom and intelligence so we end up living as a mere shell of who we really are and in this pressure cooker we are told we have to get on with it and cope with life. It is a set up and impossible to achieve – No wonder so many are anxious! The key as you say is to not play this game at all but to return back to the connection and natural essence we felt as children and live from there, even if this means stepping outside what the world considers currently a normal life.
When life becomes about stepping on egg shells so no feathers get ruffled we have lost that child-like ability to walk in connection to our essences.
“The natural ease and lightness we enjoyed as children” comes with a deep-humble-appreciative-ness that is innate within us all, so when we see a child at play they need naught from the out-side-world and in this connected state we also feel that same deepening-humbleness with the appreciation of being in that re-connectedness to our essences!
It is us who, at the end of the day, says no to our innate qualities. When we do, we are lost and we try hard to make it up by acquiring new qualities but not truly bringing the whole of our natural ones into the equation. Trying to live off them is an impossible game we really try hard at it. Doing so, requires us to shut down. Even (and especially) if we succeed, it truly means a miserable failure.
So-called success in terms of function leads to ill mental health and failure in these stakes leads to ill mental health as well, anxiety being only one of them. Function cannot be the marker for a life lived well, it is more suitable to existing, and only just at times.
“Serge was the first person that really understood what I was feeling. I observed that he was this way with everyone.” Serge Benhayon is the living example of ‘one life’ where no matter where one is or doing one is always the same, and with him it is Love. What an inspiration to be.
Just the other day I had lunch with someone who I haven’t seen for a very long time and she commented that i had such vitality about me and ease that it made her feel at ease with herself. I didn’t realise this was the effect I had as I was just being me, it was wonderful to be appreciated in this way and to have it confirmed so clearly that what we offer when we are connected is very healing and that is powerful.
We don’t think we can make a difference in the world if we are not a leader in the world but your ripple effect is like an earthquake in another person’s life if they are ready to realise we don’t have to live with tension as ‘normal’.
Appreciation of that level of Love is so power-full and “we can live with joy, harmony, stillness, love, honour and integrity, we can live responsibly.”
” I had walked away from having a foundation of my true self, and instead walked towards building my foundation from what everyone else wanted me to be. ”
This is so true for a lot of us , we try to fit into a world that truly does not make any sense and in that trying we negate the truth of who we are.
And because everyone does it and some are really good at it, and make a very pleasing outer self we all strive for this and feel like failures if we can’t master the outer life that looks good. It is an utterly devastating way to live evidenced by the world we live in currently. Thank God we have been shown a different way to live and shown explicitly how to reconnect back to the essence within, with no trying just being us is enough to bring us back home and from there who knows what will happen next but we know we are with ourselves and in that is everything.
“What has been shown to me, very clearly, through my redevelopment over the last four and a half years, is that I had walked away from having a foundation of my true self, and instead walked towards building my foundation from what everyone else wanted me to be.”Learning to let this behaviour go is very empowering.
When we can cease to be so concerned about how another sees us, they have a very real opportunity to see the real us.
Yes, they do but also we do! When we have spent such a long time trying to fit into everyone else’s picture it is a bit hard to know who we actually are. Thank heaven for Serge Benhayon and the simplicity of what he has shared with us over the years.
Calibrating to where another is and to how much they can handle of me without getting upset was one of my very ingrained behaviors with a lot of side effects both physically and mentally. The changes I made after meeting Serge Benhayon are mind blowing in how they influenced my life for the better and made me realize how big the effects of our own choices are.
Calibrating ourselves to what everyone else wants us to be along with the burden of the societal judgments and expectations that also shadow us is indeed exhausting – as you say Robyn it is far simpler and much more honouring of our health and wellbeing to just be ourselves wherever we are and whatever we are doing.
Wow, Robyn to know the amazing, incredible person you are now and to read what you used to be afflicted with is astounding, I can relate to these following sentiments,”However, nothing had changed around my feeling lost and anxious in every moment of every day. I thought this was going to be the way my life was to be until I died – and honestly, quite frequently I really looked forward to that day so the agony I was feeling would stop.” You will make an incredible psychologist having lived through such a ‘dark night of the Soul’.
What a blessing it is to relearn the truth of ourselves and our lives through the wisdom of Serge Benhayon. How amazing is this man?
“All this is possible because one man stood up and said; life can be different, we don’t have to suffer, we don’t have to be in pain (physically or emotionally), we can live with joy, harmony, stillness, love, honour and integrity, we can live responsibly. This one man was, and is, Serge Benhayon.”
Understanding that love and joy and harmony is (can be) a natural part of life alone is a huge realisation and opens one up to a whole different way of living.
Yes, just by having someone living demonstrates that is possible and as you say Esther it paves the way for a whole different way to live. Thank God for Serge Benhayon.
Many of us have accepted all the intricate maneuvering we go in to get through life as part of growing up, which makes sense when the world we live in is built on a basis that we comply and follow what the world presents as the ideal. Thank God, we have Serge Benhayon. It’s like we have known all along about living from the inner-most but never wanted to give it a full go and were waiting for someone to prove that it is safe and it really is worth aspiring to.
I can relate to this ‘adjusting’ to fit in…. When I started to become more ‘me’, the true ‘me’, it brought up some challenges – for me and others. It still does. And I learned/realized that to stay for who I am is a loving act for us all – even it brings up some challenges. We are asked to evolve, this is our natural rhythm – and this comes with changing and challenges. So I have had to change a lot of beliefs and what made me feel ‘safe’. I had to see that I feel safe when I do not evolve, when everything stays the same, but this did hurt on a deep level (to not evolve) and at the end it did create the anxiety that made me wish to be safe…. The more I was able to let go of my anxiety, the more safe I felt. To be able to let go the anxiety I had to build on another level inside of me – the level of self-love, so I can now trust in me and the care I have for me. If I am a stable factor in my life – it can be very vibrant and challenging.
Much to discover here…
Thanks for sharing your experience of healing your anxiety Robyn, so many suffer from anxiety, even many who don’t think that they are anxious, still have anxiousness running through them all the time…. and this I have learnt is because we have all lost our connection to who we really are. I love that Serge Benhayon teaches us how to reconnect and that we are enough just for who we are as it means I don’t have to keep trying to be something or better or more. I can just be me.
A great article on anxiety and your story to show how we can all come back to ourselves and true purpose. Now as a steady person ,and growing power house of love and understanding you hold authority over anxiety the very thing that crippled you .The link you have made with connection to your body and relearning how to walk your walk literally is huge and also very simple as everyone can do it .
So inspirational we could all take a leaf out this and write a book on anxiety.
This is inspiring for anyone who has suffered from anxiety
I can feel a sense of deep wisdom and knowing, a settlement in my body, an acceptance that has always been mine to claim and live from. But when anxiety was my choosen way of being, I could not feel this ultimate love and power, even though it was innately there in my body.
I completely relate to what you have shared here Robyn and I am still unpicking the uneasiness or anxiety I feel sometimes in my body when I go to express honestly how I feel because when I was young I got the same negative feedback when I simply just expressed from my heart with joy. I am changing this slowly though and it does feel great and very liberating to do.
It is a blessing to know that life is not about fitting into roles but being our self and that nothing can fill this place, and then to slowly bring this into daily life and breaking down step by step all the pictures we have held about how we think we need to be, is a life long journey and more enriching with every step.
I know for me it is the same Robyn that anxiety is a clear signal to me when I am contorting or twisting or suppressing myself in order to please the world in one way or another and the palpable sense of ease and stillness and steadiness I feel in my body when I am living true to myself and simply being me is also very obvious.
How does the world progress, change, evolve if the way we are conditioned as kids is to be compliant? As we learn to tow the line we are gradually buying into what is normal all around us rather than what feels natural.
Whenever I feel the world around does not want me to be myself, first of all I congratulate myself. If how I am naturally has sparked a reaction around, I must have represented a reflection that is out of the world’s comfort zone. And from the energy of self-appreciation, it is much easier to walk in the steadiness and stillness of myself.
Self-appreciation is a very powerful science, that humanity is yet to truly discover.
I can relate to suffering from intense anxiety, of not really knowing who I was and what the purpose of life was about, having a sense of it within yet not being able to live it or see it being truly lived. This discord is what I believed was normal, and focused on how to manage this condition, anxiety and tension, to get through life. But since become a student of The Way of The Livingness I now have a much greater sense of knowing who I am, and have discovered that living in union, in connection, with my body and being is what guides me to live in a way of understanding my relationship with life and the divine purpose of us being here. I now have a deeper understanding of what the tension I am feeling relates to, and as such live with far greater sense of harmony and fulfillment.
As Student of The Way of The Livingness much is discarded of the old ways,” and as such live with far greater sense of harmony and fulfillment.”
Thank you Robyn for sharing and that . . .” good dose of self-care, true love” . . . is good medicine for all our ailments and it is available to everyone as it is universal. Of course part of loving and caring for ourself is taking ourselves to a medical practitioner when this is necessary.
Today I am more ‘Me’ than I have been in a very long time. What a great antidote for anxiousness!
“Never really knowing what you are doing or who you are meant to be” Very confusing and exhausting. Serge Benhayon lights the way to reconnecting to who we truly are.
A great sharing Robyn that many of us could relate to. When we step away from what we know is truth, there is always an unease within letting us know that the path we are choosing to walk, is not the love that we know within. Universal Medicine offers the path back to love where the body leads the way.
There is nothing more powerfully life-changing and healing than re-establishing a connection with our true selves… in fact without this, no changes we make are sustainable. Thanks again for sharing such a powerful story of transformation as the simplicity of what you describe applies to us all.
Yes, everything in the blog was transferable but the key, as you have shared again here, is the opportunity to re-establish that connection with ourselves. I need many hearts here.
I can very much relate to this article and see that anxiety is still guiding many of my choices, and this is showing up more and more in my life to be not the way that I can live. Feeling more and more that true and lasting change is possible, feeling more sure and strong in myself is very beautiful to behold.
There are many parts to this article I can relate to and in particular the feeling of being like a chameleon. It’s not in a manipulative or deceitful way but more it was about trying to fit in, to be liked and understood by whoever you were with. I remember always coming away from conversations and analysing them to throw out what didn’t work in that instant and replace it with something that did work. It seemed like this is how I lived, always changing parts of me to fit in with peoples reactions. It may sound strange but there is a truth to what was going on it was just twisted. There is a way to live within yourself that actually truly ‘fits’ in with others, it’s flexible to change and it understands deeply the people around you. The only part is that it has little to do first with what everyone else is doing, it first comes from within you. In other words you don’t change yourself to the beat of the drum of the world but more you live in a true way that supports you and from there you make changes to bring more clarity to what you feel. The living deep love and care you bring to yourself is then automatically there in everything you touch. There is no need for analysis, anxiety or concern you are just unfolding back to living the inside out and not taking the outside in.
Yes an exhausting and anxiety provoking way of living never knowing what you are doing or who you are meant to be, ‘ I had walked away from having a foundation of my true self, and instead walked towards building my foundation from what everyone else wanted me to be. I was therefore living, or more accurately existing, from a foundation that was unstable, as it kept changing every time someone’s expectations of me changed.’ What a massive healing that you no longer live that way.
One may ask why do our parents want us to hide our true selves, and why are we ‘encouraged’ to comply, ‘to not ‘rock the boat’, to not speak truth or challenge what they said, to stay quiet in the background (be invisible) and not cause trouble, and most certainly to not be ‘difficult’.’ To basically not be our amazing self as you said in this blog Robyn.
It literally only takes the reflection of one person showing us there is another way to live, another choice to make, for there to be a chain reaction where one by one we all become reflections for those around us, reflecting they to have another choice. Serge Benhayon has been and is that reflection for me too. He absolutely rocks!
I have known you for many years Robyn and can say it is beautiful to witness the steps you have taken to clear this anxiety from your body and to become your ‘true self’ with the love and support of Serge Benhayon throughout this process. When we begin to truly heal we offer such a powerful reflection to others that confirms there is a different way – this is very much needed in a world where illness and disease is constantly on the rise.
Reading through your blog today it was really highlighted to me just how many people experience a lack of acceptance for who they are, if not more direct behaviour such as bullying or abuse for simply being who they are, and much of that can actually occur in the family environment. If we include schools and workplaces, and now online environments, there are a myriad of places where we experience pressure to not be ourselves. We have to then ask the question, “What is it that people find so threatening about people being connected to who they naturally are?”
I lived a very similar existence Robyn and couldn’t see it ever changing. Living with constant anxiety is crippling, it’s all I felt everyday until I met Serge Benhayon. Sometimes when I read a blog like this and remember how awful it was I don’t feel I appreciate how different I live now. I hardly ever have the kind of intense anxiety I used to now.
We are all designed to deliver great revelations, learnings, healings and expressions of truth to each other. Its the natural way and the return to brotherhood.
Very inspiring Robyn, I have known many clients over the years who suffer the same sort of anxiety-ridden existence with a myriad of health complaints and life-difficulties as a result. It does take a real commitment to yourself to heal at the level you have described so thanks for sharing your story, it’s an important one for so many who experience life in a similar way.
I too lived in a constant state of anxiety for much of my life, never really knowing how I “needed to be”. Living in this constant sense that I had to be prepared for what the world would throw at me, so forever “on the lookout” for what the day would bring. The greatest service Serge Benhayon has delivered is guidance on how to “be yourself”, the support this brings into everyday life is phenomenal. There comes a time where the focus is not on what may come, but is instead on “taking me to my day”. The difference within is vast and so very powerful.
It is Leigh, I remember the day I was reminded that we feel everything, all of the time…. and when we don’t honour or acknowledge what we are picking up on and pretend or not want to feel it then we feel anxiety. This was life changing, all I needed to do was trust what I already knew acutely… like we all do.
Anxiety completely narrows our view and understanding of the world around us and crushes the wisdom from our very beingness.
So many people could relate to this Robyn, I certainly can having had similar experiences. The thing I found really powerful was learning that we don’t have to suffer, that we do actually have choices, and that in fact we may be making the choice to suffer (a big ‘gulp’ when I realised this for myself). Serge Benhayon is a wonderful supporter of people to empower themselves.
‘…we don’t have to suffer’ – This is such an empowering quote, especially considering where we are at as a society today. Suffering is something we can CHOOSE to experience and live, or as you’ve shared we can choose to really look after ourselves and others regardless of what happens around us, and thus live a life we truly enjoy.
‘ I ended up initiating a nervous breakdown’ – love the way you take responsibility for this. How refreshing to hear someone own the fact that we are choosing how healthy or not that we are? More of this, and the NHS would not be in anything like the state it is in today.
A deeply inspiring story of real transformation in your life Robyn. Thank-you for sharing so openly here.
Our world (as it is) asks us from most every angle to measure up to being something that we are not – ‘be better here’, ‘look better there’, ‘play this role’, ‘please others’, ‘don’t rock the boat with truth’ (God forbid)…
Without a solid and secure reference within the self, we are indeed lost at sea, vulnerable to changing winds and conditions, to the intent and expectations of others…
Through knowing Serge Benhayon and working with his teachings I’ve also come to find the simplicity of ‘me’ within, and continue to deepen in my awareness of how I can live in a steadiness and lightness in life, from this foundation. This is nothing short of life-changing stuff – true education, that all deserve to know, that it becomes our ‘norm’ – globally.
In this day and age where society is running at such a fast pace in order to keep up how can we not but feel anxious. The question is why do we think we have to keep up with the unrealistic expectations of the world around us while in the same process ignore the stress our body is feeling from this and push on. And further, how can we possibly not think the accumulation of this stress in our bodies is not related to our escalating rates of disease and illness.
Lets have responsibility for all our actions without any ‘unrealistic expectations’!
I loved reading of the healing you initiated once inspired by Serge Benhayon and after choosing to live from a foundation of knowing your true self and honouring that in the way you move. A truly amazing story.
It is very draining walking around thinking how I need to be in the world instead of just walking as who I am. It comes a point when enough is enough though, when we stop and consider dropping all the ideals and beliefs we are walking around with weighting us down. That point is a great point indeed.
It is so true, to try to keep up with everyones expectations is unrealistic and means you are constantly living to someone else’s agenda – how exhausting is that?
This is great to reflect on where we have come from and what we considered as our normal and to appreciate through simple changes how grand life can become.
Robyn that is really a great healing – “Replacing the anxiety are feelings of natural strength, fragility, insightfulness – all the feelings I remember having as a kid.” And that is very inspirational – thank you for sharing.
I’ve really enjoyed reading our story again today Robyn. What really struck me is how many people live with chronic anxiety globally, and how very supportive the Universal Medicine tools could be for millions of people.
Yes, the Universal Medicine therapies are extremely supportive tools that could be beneficial for every person on our planet, simply because of the nature with which these therapies are designed and applied with such high integrity.
i know exactly what you mean when you wrote about wanting that feeling of loveliness you had as a child. I know I tried many things to get that feeling back and sometimes I got a glimmer of it but it never stayed. I had forgotten about looking for it when I met Serge Benhayon. Surprisingly, with healings and the Gentle Breath Meditation, I felt this essence of myself that I had given up on. It is absolutely awesome to have it back and even in those times where I may not feel it because I have got over tired it is only a breath away.
Thankyou Robyn, great to read your blog and how you came to Universal Medicine. I also suffered a lot of emotional distress to the point of not being able to sleep and pretty much nothing I had tried could give me lasting relief or actual complete healing from everything I was suffering. When I found Universal Medicine that’s also when things began to turn around for me, and they continue to do so based on the simple tools Serge Benhayon presents. Overall I have a significant lesser degree of nervous tension and anxiety, and most of the emotional turmoil has also dissipated – it’s actually gone out of my body! No other healing modality could do that for me. I feel deep appreciation for the true healing and true change I’ve experienced thanks to Universal Medicine, and the empowerment I’ve felt to choose these things for myself.
When we live our life from an inner connection with ourselves, the choices that we make are more loving and based not on what others want us to choose, but more honestly on how we feel, and those choices bring a harmony and joy to the body.
So true Sally and the more we honour and build that connection within the more solid we are at deflecting the shadows that tease us and try to constantly lure us away from what is true.
I searched for many years for answers to questions and to find a way out of the inner dis-ease I felt. It wasn’t until I met Serge Benhayon and by attending Universal Medicine workshops that I unlocked the key that had kept me trapped in uncertainty and unhealthy patterns all my life. Now life feels very different and I no longer look outside of myself for answers.
‘Serge was the first person that really understood what I was feeling’ This is the blessing many people seek when lost and in distress, but do not find. It is rare to meet someone who meets and offers a way out of misery and supports us back to truly healing and renewed sense of purpose.
Knowing our true foundation is within ourselves and not based on what everyone else thinks is true liberation. We can simply be ourselves and know we are equal to all others. Serge Benhayon has supported thousands of people to connect to themselves, live life free of fear and anxiety, and walk with love in their hearts that is for all humanity.
I have found that anxiety comes from living life through everything that is going on around me, dealing with other people’s emotions and drama, getting caught up in trying to please others. Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have clearly shown that when we live connected to ourselves first, there is no place for anxiety to take the lead.
Hi Robyn, thank you for sharing and I like you can vouch that there is another way. When I was in an anxious state I always felt that there is nothing that could help me as I was too anxious to even consider doing anything to help myself as I was viewing myself from outside my body and this is the ultimate anxiety, the fact that I was somehow free falling as I had jumped ship.It was a revelation for me to learn that the root cause of anxiety was just that . . . not being in your body. When you consider that it actually seems a good reason to be anxious. Thanks to the presentations of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I have been able to know when I am ‘out’ and when I am ‘in’. And when I am out I now know how to come back to me.It is but a breath away. http://www.unimedliving.com/meditation/free/meditation-for-anxiety-and-stress/beating-anxiety-gentle-breath-meditation.html
At the base anxiety is felt because we have lost our connection with our inner most, that connection we felt when we where kids. As you portrayed so beautifully Robyn, in general we are not accepted as such when we are little and people make us belief that we have to become someone else. When we allow that to happen we loose that inner connection with the strength and stillness within. No wonder that our body becomes anxious and it is all in the tension of disconnection with the source we belong to.
The ironic thing is that we often think that living in a way where we are adjusting ourselves to the expectations of others, means we are in control – when in fact it’s the total opposite! The more we connect to our own bodies and making self loving choices, the less we need to try and control life from the outside in, but rather focus on living life from the inside out.
I can relate to what you shared about constantly changing who you were depending on the company you were in. I once did a similar thing, I wanted to be liked and not rock anyone’s boat so I became a chameleon. But over time I began to withdraw from life more and more. It took a while to rediscover who I was and I am am still on that journey. These days I rarely play the chameleon and have got to know myself enough that I know when I’m not being me.
Wow, knowing you now Robyn and the solid, graceful, powerful, delicate and steady presence you bring, I am amazed to read this blog. What incredible life changes you have made. We can move so very far from our true selves and who we naturally are, live life in that way for many years and then we can take the steps back to ourselves. What lies within remains unchanged and is there waiting for us all the while.
Before I met Serge Benhayon I was living with a constant underlying anxiety as I took on and sympathised with the woes of the world which was exhausting. Serge Benhayon presented so clearly that by living like this I was adding to the energy of anxiety and exhaustion that was felt by others. In understanding that ‘Everything is energy, and therefore everything is because of energy’ I can choose to live with love and compassion and change the way I feel that is, in turn, felt by others.
Serge Benhayon through Universal Medicine, the Way of the Livingness and his lived example present that is possible for everyone to live and express who they truly are in joy and not as you say Robyn “….building my foundation from what everyone else wanted me to be.”
Everyone, no one is exempt. Great point Jonathan.
Understanding how we conform to what others think, or want from us, rather than staying with our own truth creates a foundation of anxiety is a powerful and illuminating realisation.
It creates an entry point that then clouds access to our enormously glorious foundation within. It is a crazy game and one I am pleased to not be part of so much anymore. Nowadays as soon as I feel anxiety I am calling myself out for having ‘vacated the building’, allowing anxiety the space to play, and I am able to make the decision (most of the time) to come back and face what is there to be felt that I don’t like and don’t want to feel. And to just let you in on a secret… feeling is not the end of the world, I haven’t died from it, in fact I have blossomed from it, because I have been able to find more of Me within and this feels amazing!
Yes, when we allow ourselves to truly feel what we are feeling and not be overwhelmed by the anxiousness we can discover the cause of why we were getting anxious in the first place, take responsibility for it and not do that again. By doing so we become increasingly less anxious and re-discover more of ourselves.
So true, Jonathan. For a long time I was so consumed with the anxiety that I was not open to hearing that it was simply a choice I was making. The anxiety owned me… but not completely. There was a part of me that knew there was another way and I went looking for it. Finally finding it with Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon. Now I can take responsibility for my choices, including my choice to go into anxiety in order to not feel or deal with something. It is liberating in so many ways.
anneliesvanhaastrecht-This is so powerful to share with the world “Pondering on all this I realised that anxiety can still confuse me because of its weakening effect on the body but the only thing I need to see is that it has become weak because I chose thoughts which were not supportive but degrading of who I am.” Through self appraisal and awareness and reading through this blog, this gem came about…It is illuminating to consider what the impact of choosing ‘anxiety’ has on the body. Thank you for sharing Annelies van Haastecht.
Yes, anxiety is no friend of the body’s. It actually wreaks a lot of havoc. Havoc that can take many years to recover from.
And there is no need to push preach or attempt to convince, how we live expresses what has been learnt….walking our talk…”We have been given an amazing opportunity to share with the world what we have found within ourselves through the support and love of Serge and Universal Medicine.” I feel I have had an amazing opportunity to live my life from more of my truth and express myself more than ever before through encountering Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon, what a gift. I wish to share this with others just through being me and being out in the world. I don’t hide like I used, (not as much at least) this is my commitment and responsibility to confirming a truth that resides within me, that we are all equally divine in essence and we are all equally connected.
Anxiety to me is a reaction that is initiated when the body feels there is disharmony to what is lived and what is within. When I present myself in protection, the body knows that is way off from what it knows the heart to be, and it alarms the dishonesty that is apparent, immediately. When I numbed my body I do not register this alarm, and when the protection is built up so thick, the body is still feeling it all but without me acknowledging it, and hence the illusive delay. Until the body cannot take this anymore it would use every possible way to make me STOP and reconnect back. What if when we feel anxious, we ask our bodies, where is the disharmony, what is it that I do not want to feel?
My understanding of anxiety is that it comes in AFTER a reaction has been initiated. Because in the reaction we take a step backwards from ourselves, therefore leaving room for anxiety to enter. I have come to know that when I feel anxious I have already made the decision to not feel and scoot off, and it is for me in this realisation to decide to re-enter the world, to feel whatever is there to feel (even if I don’t like it – as there is a lot of that!), and not to perpetuate the step backwards by going into anxiety, but to step forwards to meet life as who I am.
Life can seem complex and the answer to resolve the complexity may seem to have to come form more complexity. However as stated in this blog the greatest medicine to complexity is simplicity. So if we even find ourselves in a pickle, bring it back to a simple equation otherwise no answer will be acquired.
Awesome blog Robyn – “I was therefore living, or more accurately existing, from a foundation that was unstable, as it kept changing every time someone’s expectations of me changed.” This is painfully exhausting and such a trap to keep us away from our true selves. Huge love and appreciation for Serge Benhayon who continually presents another living way 🙂
It is a trap shellyjones44 and one we actively take part in until we realise it is not the way. This is where people such as Serge Benhayon come in to show us the True way of being – The Way of The Livingness.
“All this is possible because one man stood up and said; life can be different, we don’t have to suffer, we don’t have to be in pain (physically or emotionally), we can live with joy, harmony, stillness, love, honour and integrity, we can live responsibly. This one man was, and is, Serge Benhayon.” Absolutely – huge gratitude and appreciation for Serge Benhayon who is showing us – and the world – if it will listen – that there is another Way.
I can relate to feeling lost and how scary this felt. I realise it was there because of the idea i had to do it on my own, nobody there to help me because they did not understand who I was. Now I know this is not true I left myself behind, my inner knowing which at the same time I felt lost was there to guide me. This sense of knowing my strength has always been there but I denied it and followed other people to fit in and to be the nice girl. After 48 years of living/existing I came back to this inner knowing, with the loving support of Serge Benhayon, and it is me who can make the choice to stay connected or go out of this and feel lost again.
So very well expressed, Annielies. I especially loved the part where you described nobody understanding who you were, as I too felt like this, and I have come to realise that it was me who didn’t understand me. This realisation would have saved me a lot of heartache and drama as I went round and round in circles with this for years. It is so true that by re-connecting with our inner knowing we are able to understand ourselves again and I am deepening this more and more every day. I no longer feel lost because I know that my inner knowing is with me always.
In a way it is a self sabotaging behaviour and at the same time, as Arianne said in one of her comments above, a ‘building tool’ to learn from. When I am anxious nowadays I know I made the choice to not feel and acknowledge my power, feeling my power can freak me out so to speak and the anxiousness tries to get me back in the comfortable hiding position I was used to be in. Pondering on all this I realised that anxiety can still confuse me because of its weakening effect on the body but the only thing I need to see is that it has become weak because I chose thoughts which were not supportive but degrading of who I am.
haha… feeling the power within me can freak me out too Annelies! Gradually as I allow myself to get used to this incredible energy I feel more solid within me and with this I have come to realise that this is what I have in fact been avoiding feeling for so long, as when this power is felt we have a responsibility to embrace it and express it, therefore, bringing up all that we have been hiding from with allowing the anxiety.
“Anxiety” – when I feel this it is usually in regards to: feeling I am not capable at achieving or dealing with something in front of me.
When reading your blog I realised how often I can feel anxiety and that it is something that can be quite regular in our days – quite hard to get rid of ‘completely’, that is until we are ‘complete’ in ourselves and are solid in our presence and qualities I feel. Anxiety can therefore also be an indicator of when we need to re-connect more, it seems it might just be a great building tool if we choose to learn from it.
But to be very honest, the moment I feel dis-connected to me and my body – I can often experience anxiety.
You have provided some great insight and tools to support here Robyn. Thank you.
Anxiety is a tool, Arianne, well said. I have come to realise that I in fact chose to use anxiety as the tool I needed to withdraw from the world. It feels very familiar to me now, this way of living… like a past life memory. I have always found it hard to be with the level of power I feel within me and am only now allowing myself to get used to it. So I used anxiety to not feel, to take a step back, to hide, and to not be seen. Slowly, slowly I am coming out and releasing the power within and even though I frequently have moments of being blown away by what is being expressed, it is also very daunting at times. But by practicing I am becoming more confident with this aspect of me… and to be honest I quietly LOVE IT!
Thank you Robyn, reading your comment has been super supportive to accept that it is a process, it is a journey to embrace to return to ourselves, each step of the way, it’s not about a fixed ideal. We are all doing it together.
We are in this together, Arianne, I agree, and allowing myself to feel this is a great support, especially this week, as I have been challenging an old way of being. This has brought with it some anxiety as I am taking myself out of a comfort zone I have been in for awhile. I feel exposed, fragile and vulnerable, and instead of pushing people away and getting all controlling, I am looking to be with people and connect with them. This is a new way for me and in this I can feel the people around me who know me inside and out, who allow me to just be me, who accept me fully… this is true family and really clears the way for deep and close connections.
Well explained Arianne- I too am finding the smallest details in my life can trigger anxiousness that I am surprised sometimes by what the trigger was when I trace it back. As you say Arianne we can learn from it as it can reveal just how delicate, aware and sensitive we are to love and truth – we do know them so when we waiver from our connection we are given an opportunity to feel we are heading off track.
Thank you Robyn, another very insightful and inspiring article about your change from anxiety back to you – and honestly it makes so much sense to me. You really lay out ‘The Way’! “To let go of all that is not me, which I had accumulated along the way from trying to be what others around me wanted me to be”. This morph suit is horrible, and I have worn it…I have had quite a bit of anxiety in my life also – But what I realised from reading your blog was I just need to re-connect to all my innate qualities that I had as a child, and to live these…for this is who I am and how I truly know myself to be. Thank you, this is just Gold.
Getting to know ourselves and our innate qualities is so enormously healing. By naming them and writing them down we bring them into the world we live in and they become very real and very tangible. I have found this to be such a great way to begin to truly feel all that I am and all that I bring to the world – my VALUE. This has supported me to live from an even deeper connection within me, which allows more stillness in my life. And stillness is the quality that I find holds me the steadiest in who I am, leaving no room for self-doubt or anxiety, when I am connected.
Wow Robyn, this is an awesome example of the illness and disease and dis-ease we often experience simply by not being true to, and living, who we truly are.
And to add to this, the antidote (or at very minimum, true support…) to much of our illness and disease is self care and self love… How simple is that!
“….one man stood up and said; life can be different, we don’t have to suffer, we don’t have to be in pain (physically or emotionally), we can live with joy, harmony, stillness, love, honour and integrity, we can live responsibly. This one man was, and is, Serge Benhayon.” So true Robyn and has stood up and said it in way that we can hear, understand and appreciate. And that way is because it is truth and love.
beautiful Robyn. Thanks to Serge Benhayon being himself, he has shown the way for others to know and be themselves too, and connect to the love and joy that is within.
“I was therefore living, or more accurately existing, from a foundation that was unstable, as it kept changing every time someone’s expectations of me changed.” This is a incredible exhausting and debilitating way to live. I had a numerous number of relationships over the years and with every new one I attempted to ‘fit in’ to what I believed was needed. However, as to be expected they all collapsed, not due to the other but because my own connection with myself was not there and therefore I was not bringing anything stable to the relationship. No wonder they did not work.
Great point, Jonathan. What sort of foundation do we have when we are not ourselves? This sets us up to have relationships built on this way of living and this is not a solid support to work with at all. “No wonder they did not work”.
Now It already has become the new normal to feel light and full of joy, and it is now interesting to observe the opening doors to stand up myself and let people know that there is another way.
So true, felixschumacher8, it is now normal to live a life full of light and joy, and share this with the world instead – inspiring others to know that anxiety is certainly not something we just have to put up with!
We are responsible for healing ourselves. There is no magic pill or exotic drink from the Amazon, just simple but effective self care ways that can be learned in 5 minutes. Did I say it was that simple.
Yes, Linda, the anxiety certainly built over time for me until it turned into a full blown panic disorder in my mid 20’s. Living without a consistent connection to myself really took it’s toll. Thankfully, this is not the case today and I am instead enjoying my renewed connection with myself and sharing this with others.
‘This is because one man stood up’ I love this line about Serge Benhayon. It is so for many many people from all over the world who are singing his praises and for good reason. Serge presents from his lived truth and this is an inspiration for us all, not knowledge on how to get better, but a livingness that offers true health and joyful vitality as a way of life.
Absolutely Jo, because Serge Benhayon “…presents from his lived truth…” and not from knowledge I have been able to effectively turn my life around, from one of misery to one with joy and harmony in it. All other treatments I had tried prior to this did not deliver any true healing nor even come close.
What you have described here Robyn is the tragedy that happens to almost every child. As a child we feel everything with clarity, most of all what is love, and what is not love in our world. We expect those around us to be nothing but love, and feel betrayed when they do not. We get pushed and pulled out of our own loving way just to fit in. if we remain the purity of love that we were born with it does rock the boat so when we are told not to make trouble we abandon ourselves to become what the world wants. We do this at the expense of our tenderness and sensitivity, and forever after blame our parents and the world for our loss. We continue to try to become what society wants at our expense, and we get good at it. As society changes its demands we can’t win, our foundations are ever changing. What Robyn has described here is the way back to self and building a new foundation of truth. That is the only way.
I am similar to you Robyn. My life was a mess, I had given up and was prepared to grind through the remainder of my life missing all the joy.
Through the workshops and presentations of Universal Medicine, the counselling sessions from Caroline Raphael and the support of others I have changed my life from misery to discovering the joy that life offers everyone.
Serge Benhayon inspired me to change my life too- mindblowing, when someone lives and talks his truth..Not everything, like my own anxiety, changes from one day to another, but his constant reflection supports immensely in changing patterns, that keep us away from our natural strength.
Absolutely mind-blowing, Steffi.
Anxiety is far more widespread than we realise. Milder forms of anxiety are passed off as normal when it is not. Only when we are debilitated by this problem that it is addressed, otherwise it is left to simmer away with the body of millions all being held back by the same locked door of anxiety. Self-care is so powerful, yet so simple, in addressing this illness, it unlocks this closed door and can allow people to begin to feel and remember who they are and what it is like to be themselves once again.
It is true Matthew that anxiety really isn’t addressed until it becomes debilitating in some way. This is how it was for me. It wasn’t until the anxiety turned into panic attacks that I sought help. Only because it had begun to impede on my life.
Your story is quite profound Robyn when we consider your body lived in a hyper vigilant state for 30 years. When we choose a way of living that isn’t natural for our body, so as to cope in the world, it creates so much tension within until something has to give in the form of some kind of illness or disease. However it is quite extraordinary how the body can then turn around and heal itself when a new way of living is offered. You are an amazing reflection for everyone Robyn 🙂
Thanks Paula. What you have shared here is spot on and so powerful. I also hadn’t thought about my body living in a hyper-vigilant state for 30 years until I read this part in your comment. No wonder there has been a process of physical recovery!
What has been presented by Serge Benhayon is going to change how many disorders are treated. The simplicity of self care almost seems too simple and that is why it is missed. It is without doubt the way to treat anxiety, building self caring ways into the body that have profound affects on our sense of well being. I’ve lived this, tried and tested it and it has the capacity to heal issues but to take you beyond just feeling ok but to feel vital and absolutely gorgeous about yourself.
So very true, Matthew. Well said.
So beautifully what you have shared here, Robyn, for it shows that there is another way to live. How profound for every single one and for humanity to see, that there is a way to leave anxiety behind. Great, how you have so very simply explained the reason for anxiety and feeling lost in living on the unstable basis of trying to comply with expectations, coming from the outside, instead of living from the stable and joyful basis of being oneself in truth.
While trying to comply with everything it is quite plain to feel anxious and of course it is very exhausting to the body that has to cope with all the (taken on) energy and emotions. Thanks to Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and all the Students of the livingness, living examples like you, humanity will be able to change their lives from being anxious and feeling lost to a love-filled life from the basis of the innate, recovered love.
Thanks, Stefanie. I have also realised that I was experiencing anxiety because of my unwillingness to commit to being in the world. It seemed ‘easier’ in a way to check out and go into anxiety rather than be present and accounted for. I am rebuilding being present and am calling myself out on ‘skipping out’ when there is something I have decided I don’t want to feel and retreating into anxiety, as this is not how I want to live at all. To be present is very powerful. This is how I want to live.
As you say Robyn, all these amazing changes that so many people have experienced, myself included, have come about because of one man, Serge Benhayon. He has shown us by his living example that we do not have to be a chameleon, adjusting ourselves to meet other people’s expectations, but can be who we truly are without fear or compromise. And when we do this not only are we joyful but we reflect joy to others.
To just be ourselves with no shifting or changing for anyone is what is needed in the world. We need to see that it is ok not to compromise who we are in essence and this is what Serge Benhayon brought to me and so many others (and continues to bring), as you have described Jonathan. This therefore gives everyone permission to be the same and supports them to come back to just being themselves. Powerful stuff really!
Dear Robyn this is so beautiful, tender, vulnerable, fragile and inspiring true strength and I have a lot more understanding now about my anxiety and exhaustion that I now come to feel and be myself more aware of and through letting myself feel this and sharing it with others I can understand in every bit a bit more of what Serge Benhayon is living, sharing and presenting. Thank You for this great blog and thanks to Serge for being who he truly is. So inspiring. With love Nadine
Amazing, Nadine. Thanks for sharing.
I feel it is a profound observation that you make, Robyn, as why you became anxious – attempting to fullfil the expectations of others rather than choosing/being able to remain truthful to yourself. Anxiousness is of epidemic proportions and the cause you identify here I feel sure is the root cause for most people.
An epidemic of people not being themselves, that is what we should be calling the epidemic of anxiety we are currently seeing in the world. This will bring more truth to the situation as well as offer a direction out of it!
Anxiety is so crippling of a life fully lived – I share your appreciation for Serge Benhayon and the steadiness he offers – without his teachings I would not know my true foundations either.
There really is no life when crippled by anxiety, there is only existence, because when anxiety is present there is no connection to our essence, the place that offers us the opportunity to live a “…life fully lived”.
That is so well said Robynjones11, it really is an existence no matter how well you may be just functioning.
Yes, just functioning can be deceiving but it is not truly living.
Your case shows that there is something fatally wrong with human life if we can do it all as you have just about and be so desperate, on the edge of a nervous break down and feel that something is missing. We are not born this way!
There is certainly a lot within the world that we need to shift when it comes to living a full and vital life. Being in life with anxiety is so very limiting. It does not allow for joy or connection as there is a constant state of tension occurring. This is what leads to the desperation and the possible nervous breakdown because this is not how we are made to be. We are made to be in connection with ourselves, others and all things, we are also made to naturally feel joy. This is why connection is the antidote to anxiety, this is the way back to living a life feeling connected and joyful.
Well said Robyn. Connection is for sure the antidote, no need for anything more
Thank you for sharing your experiences about anxiousness in this blog Robyn Jones. I can relate to this anxiousness too and how you describe the origin of this, of being disconnected with myself as being the root cause of the anxiousness. As I feel it the anxiousness is the reaction of my body to how I impose a move that does not correspond to the natural movement that is there and my body is natural connected with. So when I am disconnected to myself I am always putting a strain on my body to behave and move in a way that is against the natural movement that is there . Thanks to Serge Benhayon, the one man that stood up and showed me that there is another way of being with ourselves, I am now able to unravel the moments where I disconnect from myself and live a movement that is not me but something I have taken from a outside belief or ideal.
The connection to our body when experiencing anxiety is interesting because what anxiety does is quickens our body, such as increased heart rate, which is about ‘surviving’ a possible threat. Said in another way, anxiety increases our body’s natural rhythm. Therefore any movement we make while experiencing anxiety will not be in the body’s natural rhythm, putting strain on it to work harder than it normally needs to. This aspect of anxiety I feel is overlooked and this is where Thomas Scott’s comment about anxiety leading to illness and disease comes into play. Anxiety really is a shocker, it takes us out, puts us in a spin and then we move while feeling like this. Really doesn’t make sense to allow anxiety to keep running when it is laid out in this manner, does it?
What you said about walking away from your true self and not having that foundation
and the instability of that cause anxiety made so much sense, as anxiety is caused by us not being present with and in our bodies and and the action of what we are doing.Thank you for this insightful reflection Robyn.
What you have shared here, Thomas, when you said “…anxiety is caused by us not being present with and in our bodies and the action of what we are doing.” is so spot on because when we feel anxious that is all our body can deal with and bring focus to as it demands immediate action, therefore we are not present to anything other than the anxiety. And until the anxiety dissipates this is the state we are in, so I can now understand where the hyper vigilance comes from that so frequently accompanies anxiety. We are held in the demand of the anxiety which means everything else is a threat to this focus, therefore creating hyper vigilance. Very interesting revelation I must say!
The constant role playing to fit in, be like be accepted by everyone is exhausting and debilitating and if done for a long time can cause illness and disease in one body.
Long term anxiety can certainly cause illness and disease, Thomas. I am still recovering from the exhaustion and tiredness that my body feels from having stripped away it’s natural vitality through being in a constant state of tension for so many years, among other ailments that have shown up over the years.
Your awareness that your anxiousness arises from your constant endeavour to fit into what you perceived were the expectations of others is very profound. This is such a common practice but not acknowledged. Imagine a world where this did not occur. Wow.
Wow. Indeed, Jonathan.
Reading your blog has stimulated me to re-call my feeling of confusion, I too had as a young child, between how I felt and the way that people were did not make sense. With this recollection has come a greater sense of connection of my true tender, loving open nature that I felt then as a child – a really lovely, heart warming feeling.
This is gorgeous, Jonathan. Thank you so much for sharing. It is truly lovely to feel my own re-connection with my natural tender and delicate self, as well as hear of others with theirs.
The thing is, the moment I choose behaviour aka speak, live and express truth that rocks the boat, is challenging, difficult or causes trouble for someone (often on the receiving end), the effects are usually not as bad as has been imagined, or doesn’t actually last as long as thought. And so I realise that those behaviours I use to cover up not wanting to feel stuff actually cause greater harm to myself and others in the long run. Oh dear. Thanks for making this an ouch moment for me Robyn; it seems this is one of those ‘difficult’ times for me, but truth be told, is far less difficult for me in the long run than continuing on my merry way partaking in behaviour that hurts.
So very true Suzanne. The ways in which we make ourselves small are very harming towards ourselves and others because we live less than what we are capable of, therefore everyone misses out. I have come to know that making people ‘uncomfortable’ by being Me and or speaking the truth when needed is a good thing, as ‘rocking the boat’ is needed to shake us out of whatever we may be in that is not true. Allowing us the opportunity to see there is a different choice. Coming to this understanding I now know that we have a responsibility to bring truth in every moment we can as this is our true salvation and way forward.
Robyn thanks for sharing your very personal story. Anxiety is almost and epidemic in our society to day and what you have shared here offers many the opportunity to know there is a way forward, one without the pain and struggle. Truly inspiring.
The commonality of anxiety is staggering, yet many of us are not even aware that it is going on for us as I did until recently. Not knowing what do do with our feelings is where it stems from and because most of us don’t want to accept what we are feeling we choose many different behaviours to block them out. The behaviours we choose do a great job at numbing our feelings but the problem lays right there as not acknowledging the feelings creates the anxiousness in the first place so all we are doing is feeding the beast that we have created.
Great point tonysteenson. The desire to avoid feeling what is there in fact creates more anxiety – feeding the beast as you say.
I completely agree with what you have shared here, Tony. My understanding of anxiety nowadays is that we allow space for it when we shutdown to what we are feeling. Being in anxiety then takes precedence over everything else, so it is, in fact, a very effective way to stop ourselves from feeling anything and everything other than anxiety!
Thanks, Penny. I feel it is very important that people know that there is a way to stop the anxiety that is so very effective and true. A way that does not harm us like a lot of the so-called treatments for anxiety that we have in the world today. I tried a lot of them and none were effective and no wonder because they all took me further away from connecting to who I really am. And connection is the true antidote to anxiety, feeling and living who we are in our hearts, nothing more and nothing less.
Exactly Penny, stories like Robyn’s offer those suffering from anxiety (and there are so many) a light at the end of what can be a very dark tunnel. Anxiety can and often does lead to giving up on life and to find that there is a way forward is so helpful for those who have searched for a long time for true support.
Hi Robyn, I’m taking with me your eloquent and very true observations about foundations, it’s a steady and rock solid place to stand on we just allow ourselves to be true no matter how the outer environment or people change. I recently noticed some changes in my legs, they felt as if I had been standing in and walking through life with an energy that was not true of me. I simply didn’t know myself anymore, I had lost me. It’s coming back for me too this connection and expression of who I originally (and always) was, to stand with me, as me, and walk through life as I truly am. This is what Universal Medicine is giving all of us, thanks to Serge Benhayon. Thanks for the inspiration and further clarity your story has offered me. You are an awesome woman!
Thanks, Melinda. I love how you have expressed the beauty of foundations in your comment, “…it’s a steady and rock solid place to stand on we just allow ourselves to be true no matter how the outer environment or people change.” So very true.
I can relate to the anxiety of not wanting to rock the boat and changing myself to suit different people. This is a great reminder that allowing myself to just be me is so important and not something that needs to be compromised.
I have recently realised there is in fact nothing in this world that is worth comprising myself for and being a lesser version of who I am. I am working with staying Me in all situations no matter what and it feels AMAZING! There is no reaction, energy or emotion that is greater than who we are deep within our hearts so there is never a moment when we need to play small to avoid these possibilities. Feeling this has been so freeing for me and living it is taking this freedom to a whole other level.
It is interesting, looking at how we all come into the world and how that is received, so often we are pressured to ‘comply’ and not ‘rock the boat’. People can at times get pretty furious if you choose to walk a different path and so we often do submit to this pressure. You provide a lovely description of how this felt for you and also regaining an awareness that whatever it was you were looking for was within you and all you needed to do was reconnect with that.
“…looking at how we all come into the world and how that is received, so often we are pressured to ‘comply’ and not ‘rock the boat’.” This is a powerful statement Samantha, as from the time we are born there are so many ideals and beliefs laid upon us. From how often we should be feeding, how long we should be sleeping, to how many bowel movements we are suppose to have etc. None of these are about connecting to the individual child and family and feeling what is truly needed in regards to the rhythm that supports everyone. So it begins the moment we pop out into the world… or maybe it starts when we are still in utero?? Or maybe before we are conceived?? There is really so much to explore in terms of this and also our responsibility in it all. For if we had a strong foundation of knowing and living who we are we would not have allowed these pressures to change us in any way that was not inline with our innermost. That one is an OUCH!
Hi Robyn, thank you for sharing your journey with anxiety. I know this one very well too, having lived for many years with it sharing my life. Over the past few years I have started to put it in its place and when I feel it creep back in I am ready for it, by using Love and self nurturing and realising that I am an equal and Loving being, as we all are. I know now that I am not lesser than others but part of the whole that makes up Humanity.
It is our wanting to take a step back from our responsibility as a human that allows the space for anxiety to enter.
There is a lot said in this one little sentence of yours Robyn! You’re taking us right to the heart of it.
‘It is our wanting to take a step back from our responsibility as a human that allows the space for anxiety to enter.’ Robyn this is a pearl of wisdom and could be a quote, it offers another way to heal when anxiousness does enter by asking oneself ‘what aspect of life am I not wanting to be responsible for?’
I agree, Deanne. Just by asking ourselves that question we are allowing ourselves the opportunity of being more responsible.
Robyn you have pointed out how life- changing it can be to meet one person who shows us love, stillness, strength and steadiness to such a degree that we know we are that ourselves. The daily lessons and the loving self talk are transformational, and your path of healing is inspiring.
Yes being a true reflection for humanity has untold healing for all.
Great to read this Robyn, athough I have not ever been told or diagnosed with anxiety I now realise I have lived with anxiety being a driving force. I would use a level of anxiety to motivate me to work hard all day in the garden for instance because we had visitors coming and I wanted everything to look perfect. Although I loved being in the garden it was actually the fear of being judged that would drive the anxiousness that kept me motivated and able to override my exhaustion.
Anxiety can be overlooked. When I was 18 and experienced my first panic attack I didn’t even know that it was anxiety related. I thought I was just sick from inhaling cigarette smoke over a number of hours. It wasn’t until a year or so later that I knew there was something going on and the word anxiety came into the picture.
Thank you, Robyn, for sharing how you have turned your life around. So many of us live with constant anxiety and exhaustion and think that’s how life is. Sharings like yours are so important to let the world know that there indeed is another way to live a life, and there are people who have given it a go and now are living a joy-full life.
I agree Fumiyo, but most people aren’t even aware that they are feeling anxiety on any level. Thankfully mine was strong enough that it urged me to seek help and that is how I found Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
Robyn you described well how you were a shape shifter, fitting into other peoples ideas of who you thought they wanted you to be. I didn’t change who I was dependent on other people’s ideas but I clung onto being the idea of who I thought I was, both ways are as damaging as each other. And so now both you and I and so many others have been inspired by Serge Benhayon to simply be ourselves. What a blessed relief !
Shape-shifting and fitting in with others’ ideals and beliefs about who and what you should be. How true your words are…awesomely expressed Alexis! Great blog Robyn, thank you for sharing the truth of how debilitating anxiety can be, and how Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have supported you to simply be you and nothing less.
Thank you Alexis for sharing a different way of how we can change who we naturally are. And yes, “…both ways are as damaging as each other.”
An amazing sharing thank you Robyn, knowing you today it is hard to imagine you lived with so much anxiety. With the love and support of Serge Benhayon you have healed the anxiety that really held you back for so long. Your blog is very inspiring and reminds us all that no matter what ill condition we have in our life it is possible to make a difference with love and true support.
“…no matter what ill condition we have in our life it is possible to make a difference with love and true support.” So very true!
Dear Robyn, thank you for this awesome sharing. I can so relate to changing myself so people around me would accept me. Crazy stuff but understandable as when we choose to abandon our inner knowing of who we are and Iive without this connection there is an emptiness which we are forever trying to fill by searching outside of ourselves to find who we are. The Gentle Breath Meditation as taught by Serge Benhayon has been a simple and practical tool which has supported me to re-connect to my inner knowing.
Dear Bianca, what you have written about changing yourself so people around you would accept you is an amazing addition to this blog and stream of comments. I can feel the truth in this so clearly as I read it. To gain acceptance from outside of us we felt we needed to change who we were. For me, when I felt people were uncomfortable with me I took this as a sign that I needed to change in order for them to feel comfortable (accept me). Thankfully nowadays I understand that people being uncomfortable with me being me is a good thing rather than a negative. So I no longer turn this around on myself anymore. Instead I accept that I may be bringing something to them that they may have not felt for awhile and so therefore they squirm a bit. This is OK with me and in a way if this doesn’t happen I wonder if I am truly shining who I am or not!
Hello Robyn, it makes me anxious just talking about anxiety….kidding. But anxiety is something I lived with for many years and on and off it is there for me now. I knew the feeling of anxiety and a lot of people told me I was anxious but that is where it ended. In other words they gave my feeling a name but didn’t give me anything to support me not to feel it. Enter Serge Benhayon and for years in many different forms and ways he has spoken about anxiety and how it comes about but also given me a map to be able to release it. I was that used to being anxious it seemed almost like I thought it was a normal part of life. Anxiety isn’t normal and isn’t something to just ‘put up’ with, it is a clear sign that something isn’t right with the way we are going about life. Change the way you live and anxiety will have no place is the basic answer to all of this but it may take time. Universal Medicine reminded me of how things can be and now anxiety has no place and when I feel it, I look at how I’m living and make a change. I don’t like feeling anxious, it doesn’t feel natural. Thanks Robyn.
It sure doesn’t feel natural and it isn’t. It is something we go into and not something we are naturally. It is a ‘coping mechanism’ to not feel something or not deal with something. Anxiety is a very effective tool that takes us away from being committed to living. But one that takes a detrimental toll on our feelings of wellbeing and overall health.
My anxiousness is nowhere near as intense since I have been supported by the Universal Medicine healing modalities and teachings. Serge Benhayon blows the lid off psychology with his understanding and treatment of anxiousness. I have found if anxiousness arises these days it can be easily addressed by pausing to ask myself ‘what don’t you want to feel?’ or ‘what don’t you feel equipped to deal with?’ These simple and practical questions are powerful medicine presented by Serge Benhayon.
Well said, Deanne. Serge Benhayon was the first person who actually knew there was an underlying energy driving the anxiety. All other people I had seen up until that point just treated the anxiety itself but never the underlying cause, therefore no treatment I took part in, until Universal Medicine, was ever effective.
Nowadays I also ask myself the same questions as you when I am feeling anxious, as I know that I have chosen to take a step back from life so as not to feel something. And the simple truth is we are equipped to deal with anything that comes our way, it is only a belief about ourselves not being equipped, that gets in the way. With practise, we build our confidence in ourselves and this becomes a known way of being that supports us through life, and anxiety becomes unnecessary.
I agree Robyn, it doesn’t feel natural, but it seems to become so much a part of us, that it is almost impossible to see that it really is just something we have chosen to take on, and not truly us at all. I am realising more now just how it can be used as a way of controlling our situation in life, of not having to take a greater responsibility, of not committing, and of staying in a certain comfort – even though it feels deeply uncomfortable and distressing sometimes – there is a comfort of keeping things the way they are. Now I am gaining awareness that does not have to be inevitable, and that there is actually a choice of reaction or of choosing something different, rather to stay steady within ourselves and observe, not react and take it on – this is enormously freeing. Now I am steadily gaining confidence and steadiness, and life becomes joyful and fun, about learning what each moment presents to learn, rather than dreading each day from the contraction and limitations of anxiousness.
Thank you Robyn for sharing how your anxiety stemmed from building an unstable foundation of other people’s expectations rather than from the truth of you which you felt as a child. I have only recently acknowledged how much of my life I have lived with a debilitating level of anxiety and how draining this has been. Building a truer foundation for my life by following the practical suggestions of Serge Benhayon has been totally life transforming and I now know what it feels like to live without anxiety and when it creeps back in I can’t believe how awful it feels and how it was for so long a big part of my everyday existence.
Yes, Helen, going into anxiety rather than living who we truly are takes an enormous amount of energy. I am really starting to feel how little energy it takes to just be me. And I too have many moments without anxiety but only recently acknowledged that there is more work for me to do in the area of bracing my body against an unforeseen or possible attack. But I know that this too will fade away as I become more secure in my relationship with myself.
Beautiful to read this Robyn and so inspiring: ‘Taking myself out to different places nowadays is so much more simple as I know that I am gong to be me no matter who I am with or where I go.’
Yes, no more packing my luggage full of expectations. I travel so much lighter these days!
Robyn, I can so feel the truth of you shining through this article and relate to your deep sensitivity as I too have chosen to live my life according to how I can fit in with others and this in itself leads to such anxiety as we essentially are supporting the belief that we are not good enough as we are. What I love is that you expose that this painful way of living is not natural, it isn’t how we come into the world and it need not be the way we continue to live. What Serge Benhayon and Universal medicine present is that there is another way – that the beautiful essence that we each deeply hold within is our true way of being, and it is choice we all have to reconnect and live this essence in the world.
I love what you have exposed here, Jade, when you say, “…we essentially are supporting the belief that we are not good enough as we are.” This has certainly been my experience and has been a driving force in my levels of anxiety. Thankfully, with the support of Universal Medicine, it’s amazing practitioners and the ongoing presentations from Serge Benhayon, I am slowly feeling the truth that we are enough as who we really are. An there is nothing that we need to do or say. Nothing at all. Just being ourselves is enough, more than enough, as we are immensely powerful people, each and every one of us.
Yes indeed, by just one man, Serge Benhayon, standing up and sharing that there is another way to live, has supported and inspired thousands to let go of their unhealthy and unfulfilled way of living. Many of these are now living their life with purpose and joy. I feel very blessed to be one of these people . Thank you Serge for standing up and for sharing your love and wisdom with all of humanity.
Yes, what Serge Benhayon shows is the power we all have as individuals when we allow ourselves to just be ourselves, nothing more and nothing less. What I love is that so many of us within the Universal Medicine student body are now being true beacons of light in the world and are bringing back a way of living that is truly supportive and vital for all, as Serge has done, and continues to do, for us all.
I remember when I used to think living in constant emotional pain was normal, and that feeling down every now and again was normal – thank god for Serge Benhayon who set the record straight…. How can suffering ever be normal?
Excellent point Meg. Suffering is not normal!
I agree, but it’s crazy, I grew up thinking the ups and downs I felt were a normal part of life.
Me too, Meg. It is great to know that this does not need to be the case.
Rereading your blog is really supportive- I know this feeling of not living my true power and the stability I could have. It is a constant rebuilding and letting go of destructive patterns. Trusting that being in stillness is enough and that everything flows if I trust.
Well said, Steffi, thank you.
I also see many people around me with increased levels of anxiety, resulting in burn out, depression etc. It is so clear that a huge change is needed and that starts with the individual. Every day I am saying no to negative thoughts that will cause anxiety if I let them, because the pattern is so strong. Without Serge Benhayon and all the tools he presents, I would not have been able to turn the tide.
Turning the tide. I love this phrase. For me, turning the tide on anxiety was about building my connection with who I really am so I could let go of how I thought I should be. As I built more and more of ME the anxiety began to lose its grip, so much so that one day when I was going into a panic attack I talked myself out of it by talking to myself about how amazing I am – and it worked! For the first time EVER I stopped myself having a panic attack. Through bringing in who I really am there was no room for anything else to take hold. Very powerful we are!
Great point Robyn, about talking yourself out of the anxiety with appreciating and calling out the amazingness. That truly helps and the more we are filled up with ourselves, the less we have to do that!
I completely agree with you, delorme2013.
Reclaiming the arena of your mind, to clear out negative thoughts is the best thing you can do for yourself. After living with anxiety it is like turning the tide. Thank you delorme2013.
” If I was in a group I would basically be constantly adjusting how I thought I should be in order to meet everyone’s expectations. Wow! That sounds exhausting and anxiety provoking, doesn’t it?” Yes it is exhausting. At a recent women’s group meeting in London we discussed this very topic. As a chameleon, who is slowly learning to change her colour to be my one true colour consistently with everyone I meet, I so knew this one.
‘…to be my one true colour consistently with everyone I meet…” This is beautiful Sue. Thank you.
One true colour!! I love that! Consistency is the absolute key sueq2012, I couldn’t agree more. My lack of consistency is certainly what holds me back from staying a steady shade of pink. A work in progress no less.
How the world expected us to be as kids has indeed left us crippled in constant anxiety… living life so disconnected that we’d forgotten who we truly are. Serge Benhayon has shown a way to gradually discard the anxiety and all else that gets in the way of returning to and living from our true essence.
And we need to take responsibility for allowing these expectations to affect us in this way, as we had a choice, as we still do, to stay with ourselves and not leave ourselves behind to fulfill any expectations.
Awesome claiming Robyn – I loved it! Yes, my life has absolutely turned around because one man, Serge Benhayon, cut through all the complications and struggles of life, dared to question if humanity had truly evolved to be the successful species it believed, and pointed out that the quality of life in the world was actually one of suffering despite all our technological advances. This is far from our natural way of being. From feeling the intense anxiety you describe, I now understand a way to experience who I naturally am and accept that quality of being. Each day I develop this steadiness in myself, this acceptance of me, to reflect back to the world that there is joy to be lived, a way of being felt and craved in each and every human in this world.
You have touched on a very important aspect of releasing the hold of anxiety, acceptance. It has been a challenge for me to really accept myself for who I am as I lived for so long trying to be what I thought everyone else wanted. As I come back to myself and accept me more and more deeply I feel a stillness within that holds me like a big warm blanket. Feels so gorgeous and divine – and I know this is who I really am – not anxiety.
I am appreciating Robyn throughout the blog and your comments how you are focused on the ‘what is’, that is, the ‘who I really am’ rather than the ‘what is not’ (the true you rather than the not true anxious you). A beautiful embodiment of your acceptance can be felt in your shared words.
Thank you, Deanne. It was lovely to read your comment and to take a moment to really feel the truth in your words. To appreciate that I have shifted from being in life half heartedly to now stepping into life more and more with all of who I am. Being present and loving myself and others with much more openness. And being willing to keep opening myself up more and more by challenging what does not feel like Me. It is amazing to claim all this and feel how much stronger my commitment to being in life has grown and continues to grow.
I love this blog and I keep coming back to it. Today I could feel in my body how allowing support of another took away the anxiousness. Also speaking up and not hold back what I feel and have to say has a huge effect on my body and how anxious I feel or not.
I have been finding that I have been feeling anxious about showing people who I really am recently. I have a strong knowing of Me but need a bit of practice being Me in all situations, no matter what. What has supported me in this is the knowing that there is nothing on earth that is greater than who we truly are. No persecution, no retribution, no bullying… nothing. We can withstand anything if we have ourselves. It is when we don’t have ourselves that we open ourselves up to be hurt by all these behaviours. This has been a bit of an OUCH for me as the responsibility for me not being Me lies squarely with me.
It is a great truth you share Monika, that letting out what I feel has a huge effect on my bodies and how anxious I feel or not. Thank you for being you.
I agree Kristy, we can present different ‘versions’ of ourselves in different circumstances. This way of living is so complicated compared to how I live today and that is with only one version of me, the real me. Taking myself out to different places nowadays is so much more simple as I know that I am gong to be me no matter who I am with or where I go.
Dear Robyn, This is one of the best sharing of anxiety and what it truly is that I have ever read. Thank you for sharing it and explaining so honestly of what it was for you. Anxiety gripped me for many years and I too thought it was going to bother me/be with me for years. But the more I reclaimed back who I truly am, the less I lived in anxiety and like you this was also deeply inspired by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. With love, Sarah
Beautifully said, Sarah, “…reclaiming back who I truly am…” This is the antidote to anxiety.
I Loved re-reading this post. This is an amazing sharing Robyn of your dedication and commitment to truth and to the unwavering love that Serge Benhayon brings to everyone he comes across, totally meeting them as who they truly are.
This was certainly the turning point for me, Katerina, when I met Serge Benhayon and he completely understood what was happening with the anxiety and yet didn’t pander to it, just supported me to go underneath it and find out what was driving it. Very different from all other practitioners I had seen up until this point.
An awesome blog Robyn, I loved, loved, loved it. Really honest, straight to point and filled with gold.
“I was therefore living, or more accurately existing, from a foundation that was unstable, as it kept changing every time someone’s expectations of me changed.” I too know this very well and feel you have articulated this feeling so clearly that it can support others to understand what their foundations are.
Absolutely Michelle, Robyn has nailed that thing we are all doing all of the time. How much of what we say is really us, and how much is what we think others will want to hear? It is an exhausting process. And so unnecessary. Thank goodness there are people like Serge Benhayon talking about things like this, and just being yourself. It is such a strange thing we all do, trying to please everyone and be nice instead of being honest and true.
I agree Michelle and Kate, “It is such a strange thing we all do, trying to please everyone and be nice instead of being honest and true”. Niceness is something I have learnt to master this life but I have also found that it does not truly help anyone nor does it change anything. Rather it allows things to continue along as they are with no level of accountability taken into consideration.
It is very strange Kate because it goes against everything that we naturally are. Hence the anxiety!
What I have realised recently is there is something driving these behaviours to conform to others expectations. For me, it is about not wanting to upset anyone or ‘tick anyone off’ for fear of retribution or persecution of any kind, so I play the game of being a chameleon. This game keeps me hidden with the illusion of being safe from harm. But all I am doing is harming myself by not being myself. It is time for this ‘people pleasing’ pattern to go and instead stand up and be Me, even if this means people are uncomfortable or get ‘ticked off’!
‘People pleasing’ is a great one to expose Robyn- and timely of you to bring it up. I have made a habit of it and it does not even make sense in so far that it can place me in situations that are not in my rhythm and put a strain on my body. Yet it is a tactic I have willingly employed largely to keep the peace for my own comfort or more honestly to avoid responsibility. I don’t like feeling if others are displeased with me because it usually follows with doubting questions like did I do something wrong or is there something wrong with me. Whereas if I were simply responsible to myself, my quality and essence – all known from my body I might not be so disturbed by another’s response or reaction towards me. I don’t suppose anyone likes feeling that others are displeased or annoyed with them when harmony is the barometer or better said, the homeostasis for our relationships and interactions. It is definitely not about toughening up or adopting an aloof air of ‘I don’t care what you think’ either.
I am pretty clear that my ‘people pleasing’ could just as easily be called my excuse to be irresponsible, it’s akin to saying “I can’t help it- I am just too nice” or choosing to lie down as the door mat. The cherry on top of choosing this compliant way of being is that it also creates fodder for being the victim. When the focus is on what others have done or are doing to me it a distraction and a way to avoid being responsible. Robyn you said above already to ‘stand up and be Me’ and to stop harming ourselves by not being ourselves is the responsibility. Responsible to know myself by my true essence so that when others are displeased with me, or my behaviours, this essence is known and held in the body as a mostly unshakable foundation.
Deanne you have raised a good point about responsibility in relation to people pleasing. Thank you. I found it a challenge to connect to this when I first read your comment. But having read it again I can now feel how people pleasing is related to being irresponsible. Any time we act less we are being irresponsible. By allowing others to dictate how or what we need to do or be we are not taking responsibility for ourselves and therefore being less that all that we are. Which is what people pleasing is all about for me – giving myself away to others. Nothing responsible about that. To hold ourselves in all our glory is so powerful and so incredibly responsible. I appreciate your sharing as it has allowed me to consider an angle I had not yet felt.
Yes Robyn, but if that behavior makes us exhausted – then it is not for us to behave in that way ! Very simple. I found too that I could be very nice at times, also to get whatever I want, pretty nasty picture I think.. I am now feeling what this behavior that I got is actually causing and where it is coming from. I can feel that I am actually trying to be recognized all of the time, so that I dont have to be responsible to see for how much I have redeemed myself and have pretended that I was something else.. While in fact there is an enormous glory within me that is my time to claim that now, everyone can see that now..
It is great to be uncovering the evils of “being nice” and “people pleasing” here. I agree with what you have said about true Responsibility here Deanne. Once we know ourselves from our essence and we are solid in that foundation of love – then there can be no doubt and no need to please people, because we hold the responsibility of honouring what we feel and not compromising this to please another.
I feel the same way robynjones11. I too am finding this constant need to please people, particularly at my new, very challenging, workplace. Trying to be everyone’s friend whilst also trying to be really assertive and honest about how I see things playing out that is causing huge disruptions. It’s exhausting, I’m exhausted and I can see the need to accept that I am who I am and that all I have to do, is turn up, be me and get on with it. However, in the throws of anxiety this is a slow process and I feel I really just need to start with catching it out more, and then bring it back to literally feel my feet on the ground and my hands on my desk. Doing just that, I’m sure will make a huge difference.
When I was reading your comment Elodie and your description of how you are at your new workplace it felt like you were in fact two different people! One that is trying to be everyone’s friend and the other that is being assertive and honest. Living like this, with a duel identity, is exhausting and anxiety provoking. Taking the time to come back to being all of you will dissipate the anxiety and the exhaustion and will make your days much simpler.
Thank you for the great sharing Robyn. The level of control that is in family, work, society, school, and so on everywhere is ridiculous. Anxiety covers up that power and strength within – I can feel it now in me.
I start a new job today. I know how much I bring to my work in so many ways to people and how much I simplify the complexity of Information Technology. It exposes the lie I have been living. The Truth I know but hold it back. I feel how much it needs changing, and how everyone feels it to. So why hold it back when in truth I feel everyone embraces this refreshing change!!
There is certainly an element of control with anxiety, Rik, very much so. When dealing with what is driving the anxiety there is also understanding how the control is part of it.
I have also experienced anxiety (and still do in some situations) – control is what I have used to try and make life ‘safe’. As you have mentioned Robyn, both anxiety and control have detrimental effects on our bodies.
Yes Carmin, I also used control to make give myself the illusion I was ‘safe’ but in truth I was just hiding from the hurt. That is what I saw as ‘safe’ – not feeling the hurt. This is a big ouch as I have spent most of my life hiding in this.
Anxiousness is rampant amongst society today…in fact most people suffer from this on some level and many don’t even realise until it’s pointed out. We settle for it being normal and just the way it is. So it is super inspiring to read this and to feel your inspiration from Serge Benhayon who clearly lives what is the real ‘normal’…and this, we can all do especially when we have a living breathing example as our reference point.
It is so true about most people experiencing anxiety and not knowing about it. I used to think that I started experiencing anxiety when I had my first panic attack at 18 years of age, but I was experiencing anxiety a long time before this, even as far back as when I was 2 years of age. What I did know, though, was that anxiety was not normal and that I didn’t need to have it, I just didn’t find someone who felt this way too until I met Serge Benhayon and then it was a little while after this that I realised the anxiety I was feeling was on its way out. Thank goodness! Anxiety really does a number on your body!
I agree that anxiety is so common that we accept it as a normal part of life but what you have stated so clearly Robyn in your blog is that it is definitely not our normal way of being.
We certainly don’t need to accept it as our normal, Andrew, that is for sure!
It does huge damage to the body. I have suffered with it as well and still suffer with it. It is significantly decreasing but I still have waves that go on. I like reading your blog because I am four years into studying with Universal Medicine and there have been significant changes. You support me in knowing that I will continue to change and the anxiety that I feel will continue to go, bringing more of the lovely qualities of me out to shine.
I agree. I didn’t know how anxious I was until I started to learn that looking after yourself was actually a necessary thing to do. So busy I was, caring and worrying about everybody else, I was the last thing on my list and in fact I wasn’t even on my list. I guess I thought buying clothes or treating myself with bought ‘things’ was my way of spoiling myself/looking after myself. It really wasn’t until I too was on the verge of a nervous breakdown (which feels dramatic to say as I never ended up in hosptial but the fact is I certainly looked forward to the end of my days) that I realised just how rampant the anxiety was. I drop in and out of managing it and with a new and very challenging job, looking after myself is proving to be even more necessary.
So many of us are taught to live in a way that puts us at the end of the list and yes, sometimes not even on the list. This way needs to go, as to self-care and self-nourish is absolutely needed for us to be able to truly love and care for others.
Thanks Robyn for not ignoring your impulses to share your experience. I know that dance of trying to be everything to everyone – to conform – and how exhausting and anxiety producing it is! I am eternally grateful for Serge Benhayon & Universal Medicine for showing us all how to return to us – to our amazing, solid, lovely selves.
This is an awesomely inspiring blog Robyn, thank you for sharing your powerful insight. To choose harmony, stillness, joy, and love as a living way is a far cry from anything that is not that, in fact anything that is not that is simply not in truth where we all innately come from. To have the living example of this shining the way for all that we do in Serge Benhayon, is truly a Gods send.
Thank you Robyn. You are certainly not alone in healing your anxiety. I lived with a low level of anxiety without even questioning it. It is still a moment to moment choice to be with myself otherwise my body shows me that I am out. Anxiety is the sign.
Wow Robyn what an amazing journey back to who you are, and reading your comment 2 years later, you feel so expanded and claimed even more. Wow. A great testament to what Serge Benhayon presents.
Thanks Robyn, it was very timely that I read this. I have been pondering on having a true foundation and what that meant, and you have answered that question quite clearly for me here. We create false foundations on what the world want us to be losing ourselves in the process. While trying to build a true foundation for myself I’m challenged by all I’ve said ‘yes’ to in the past.
Thank you for sharing here Robyn. This blog allowed me to connect to the correlation between anxiety and trying to please others. I can definitely see how I have used this combo to create havoc in my own life. I too am so grateful to Serge Benhayon for offering a lived example of being true to yourself that has allowed me to begin to do the same.
Amazing. To understand anxiety we have to understand what is underneath anxiety, and for me its awareness. Iv’e found that when I am not feeling anxious, I have an enormous awareness about people, energy, sounds, feelings and smells. I agree Robin, when we were children we were not asked to be our lovely selves and to express what we really feel. We instead decided to bottle up those feelings and start to bury our awareness.
Wow, I never looked at axiousness in this way before – to have a constantly changing foundation of ‘me’ depending on where I am, who I am with and every other outer factor that constantly changes through a normal day. Constantly adjusting ourselves to act in a certain way based on what we have adopted as ‘this is how you should be’ when little. That constant unsettling of our foundation is more than rocky ground and just wrighting all this sounds exhausting! But this also shows that what Serge Benhayon presents and what you’ve shared from your experience in this blog Robyn holds weight in a world that asks us to be everything but ourselves. To just be ourselves is the best foundation for us to live from. Thank you.
True self care and nurturing is the medicine that can pull ourselves up and out of much. The key is how much love can we give ourselves.
Exactly Matthew, the more we are committed to true self care and nurturing, the easier and simpler our lives will become. Loving ourselves is the basis to be able to truly love anyone else.
I can see what you mean by feeling scary Robin and how lucky you were to meet Serge Benhayon.
My first introduction to Serge was at Livingness 1 in Ewingsdale Hall. My daughter Rosie invited me and I didn’t really have the option of saying no thank you. I found it so confronting, I had already given up drugs and alcohol but I was just not ready for the religious bit.
In the meantime I looked after my granddaughter Ocean each time Rosie attended Universal Medicine events and we cooked dinner for Rosie when she came to pick up Ocean.
I would get a run down of events from each event she attended and how amazing they all were. I saw the changes as she gave up smoking marijuana, drinking alcohol, gluten, dairy and sugar.
After observing all these changes for six months I told Rosie to find a new babysitter and I have been been a regular attendee of UM events ever since. Now four years later I have a large group of friends that like me don’t drink or take drugs and the anxiousness I had been suffering has just disappeared.
This is a beautiful sharing Nicholas, thank you.
Very honest and open sharing thank you Robyn. It is incredible how much tension there actually is in the body when we over-ride our own inner knowing of who we are and try to live another version of life according to what others want us to be.
Well said Andrew.
Thanks Robyn. I can totally relate to being whatever the people were being around me – I was the queen of fitting in. I hadn’t related it to anxiety but it makes so much sense how this happens. I can remember hearing people being criticised or judged and clocking these things as markers for what I must not be or do in order to avoid such criticism. So I lived in a way that ensured I wasn’t me and had to be on alert for who i needed to be. Great way to create anxiety. Equally through meeting Serge and seeing practitioners of esoteric healing, I am well on my way to being the real me.
We tend to use nervous energy as a way to manage life and not feel what is there to be felt which over time loads the nervous system and increases the anxiety itself it is a viscous cycle. It is through our commitment to build a foundation based on self love, body awareness and self-responsibility that we can start to change things around and you are a living testament of that, thank you.
So very true franciscoclara8 – I know it is something I have done and catch myself doing, it is a viscous cycle indeed.
Wise words franciscoclara8 and beautifully connected.
Thanks Francisco, you have raised an important point about not feeling what is there to be felt when we are in anxiety. Because anxiety is representative of us having already left ourselves therefore we are completely unable to feel anything other than the anxiety. When there is anxiety present that is all that can be dealt with, leaving no room for anything else. Finding our way back to ourselves can be challenging but over time the tables do turn and instead of living a life full of anxiety we can start to live a life full of who we really are. It does take commitment and dedication though as in the initial stages it can get a bit rough.
I love your description of anxiousness being a 24 hours a day ‘living nightmare’ as this is so accurate. Waking up from this living nightmare over the last 7 years to a life lived with my own loveliness instead has been an amazing transformation. From a panic disorder to stillness. What a miracle!
This makes so much sense Robyn. I feel today very anxious and can feel I was already more busy with the day and making it all work instead of deeply feeling myself, how beautiful I am and that that is the most important to feel first and foremost. Instead of ticking the boxes of being able to do it all at the expense of my body.
This is a great realization Lieke and the body is such a great marker here. I too have the tendency to take on too much and before long I am busy. But these days my body stops me, this means I can feel the anxiousness that arises and puts my body into a tension. For me that is a clear sign that I have taken on too much and that I need to stop and do exactly what you describe here: “deeply feeling myself, how beautiful I am and that that is the most important to feel first and foremost.” Thank you for this beautiful reminder.
Thank you for bringing greater understanding about Anxiety, this is so needed in the world we live in where the pressure to keep up seems to be intensifying, having a strong foundation of true self is what allows us to start to break free from anxiety. I’ve noticed that even so called the low level anxiety of having to live up to others expectations holds us back..
Hi Judith, thank for highlighting Lieke’s words ““deeply feeling myself, how beautiful I am and that that is the most important to feel first and foremost.”
Thanks for sharing how debilitating it can be feeling the need to live up to others expectations. It’s wonderful that you have been able to turn things around in your life as a result of building a foundation based on self love and living who you truly are.
The love I feel when reading your sharing, Robyn, is the tenderness that awakes seeing me through the eyes of understanding. That there was a reasons why I had left my natural sensitive and gorgeous self and became a tough and “I can do it on my own”-attitude human. I can’t even say women. This I had rejected too. The way back to love my self and accept in full who I am opens up a new world. That world is a way of living my life instead of surviving life. But learning to live from my inner heart is a learning and getting to know me with every day. It used to seem easier to give away the responsibility to “simply” fulfill other peoples expectations. Because then you know where to be, and have the relief of blaming others if things don’t work out. But that was surviving. And I’m exhausted by that.
I love the phrase on Serge Benhayon “He seemed to understand so much more than I could comprehend.” Totally agree, not being you and accommodating everyone else is more than exhausting. It is a total drain and a source of permanent anxiety.
I deeply understand the anxiety caused from attempting to live up to the world’s forever changing expectations and it is indeed exhausting. It is also devastating to attempt to be who you think they want you to be and thus repeatedly deny yourself the steadiness of being and expressing who you actually are. I am immensely grateful to Serge Benhayon for showing me unwavering love and support and inspiring an appreciation and confidence within myself to hold and express who I truly am and not who people want me to be. It has been a deeply healing transformation.
“unwavering love and support and inspiring an appreciation and confidence within myself to hold and express who I truly am”. This has been what I too have received from Serge Benhayon from day one – in fact I have witnessed him inspire everyone in this. This has supported me to start to develop a consistency within myself and reduce the need to try to be nice around people which was extremely exhausting and anxiousness making.
Very deeply healing Sam, I completely agree.
So many people give up on living a joyful life and settle for surviving and life being a struggle is just how it is. What a gift to find yourself back and completely turn this around and reflect this back to all those around you.
It is a pleasure to read this blog, such honesty. “I had walked away from having a foundation of my true self”…I really related to this quote, I can feel like I am coming back to my true self and this gives me a true foundation to live life.
Awesome post Robyn, I love what you share here relatable for so many of us, the distress we feel when we are not being ourselves is gigantic; all the exhaustion of the pretence so debilitating, your words here so poignant “…I had walked away from having a foundation of my true self, and instead walked towards building my foundation from what everyone else wanted me to be”. When we learn to say yes to us, it’s like seeing over time apples on a tree ripen – the fullness towards the end of the ripening process is always so crisp and so delicious it’s worth taking the time to nurture and nourish.
So very delicious Zofia.
Wow Robyn you exposed something very interesting about anxiety!!!! Thank god that you met Serge Benhayon and that you don’t hold back to write what is very much needed.
‘I was therefore living, or more accurately existing, from a foundation that was unstable, as it kept changing every time someone’s expectations of me changed. Therefore, I had to adjust to the new conditions, and this then applied to every person I came into contact with. If I was in a group I would basically be constantly adjusting how I thought I should be in order to meet everyone’s expectations.’
Robyn, you share a beautiful example of how exhausting, tiring and frustrating it is to live up to others expectations you think they have of you. From one man inspiring you, and me and so many others, we now have hundreds of living examples showing life can be simple and joyful.
Robyn, Having suffered with chronic anxiety for years, your article spoke very deeply to me. I could so relate to where you shared that you ” walked towards building my foundation from what everyone else wanted me to be”….. this was my story too.But now with the support of Universal Medicine Practitioners I am unraveling, deeper and deeper, the falseness of my story and its adverses effects on my life.
‘…the falseness of my story and its adverse effected on my life.’ Spot on Elizabeth.
I have heard many of your stories Robyn, of your anxiety attacks and the extremity of them. It’s amazing what you have been through and now being the woman you are, you have come a long way and have put a lot of effort into working of yourself truly. The outcome is extraordinary! As your friend, I look forward to witnessing more of your growth as time goes on.
Thank you arieljoymuntelwit. I have only just recently been able to claim that I no longer have a panic disorder. There was still a part of me that didn’t quite believe that it was over. But it is and yes I have worked very hard to let go of this way of being and allow myself to return to what I felt as a young innocent child.
This is so true Robyn, I am constantly awe inspired by what is being presented by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, and on top of it we now have the endelss inspiration that keeps pouring out of countless people who have felt the same inspiration.
Thank you Robyn for sharing your story. I too am very grateful for the teachings of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon, for they have given back to me what was lost from my childhood, and that is the ‘the way to BE ME in this world,’ and no one can take that away from me again.
Wow, over two years on since I wrote this blog and it was great to read it again now. The life I lead that was full of anxiety seems a million years ago. With the ongoing support of Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and Universal Medicine practitioners I have dismantled more of the anxiety and have found my way back to the tender, loving child I remember myself to be. Feeling like Me again touches me deeply as I felt so sad for so long knowing that I was so lost and yet knowing that it needn’t be that way. My life now is built on self-responsibility, true love for myself and others, and a much deeper understanding of anxiety and why I allow Myself to walk down that particular road. As I allow a deeper connection with Me, the anxiety continually reduces, and I am having more and more time without feeling any anxiety at all. I can feel that one day I will be anxiety free and completely full of Me instead! This is a big shift from feeling so desperate and wanting to die all those years ago.
I like this word ‘dismantling’… it describes so well the process of taking down what we have chosen to put in the way of just being ourselves.
Well said Simon.
It is great to read about the link between anxiety and feeling a need to live up to the expectations of others. I can feel that for me this need comes from a lack of self worth and self love and seeking it from outside (guaranteed way to produce anxiety). It is so inspiring to read about how your life has changed.
I suffer with anxiety and as I read your article I felt supported. Your shared lived experience of this malaise is insightful and much needed at this time with ‘1in4 people in the UK (my sense is it’s much higher ) having mental health issues’ plus as Stephen Fry (celebrity) says,”many more people have issues with this”. Your honesty is great Robyn, thank you.
Thanks Robyn, great sharing and so true with children in preschool now showing up with anxiety issues.
Truly beautiful, thank you.
Robyn, what you describe is a universal story. Many readers, if not most, will identify with so much of your story. The knowing, as a child, that something was amiss but not being able to sort it out. The giving away of what we knew to be true about ourselves because we wanted to be accepted by others. This is a common storyline in our individual experiences. Thanks for sharing yours.
Thank you Robyn, that is so inspiring for me, and has allowed me to re-feel the roots of the anxiety that has been with me all my life. My earliest memory is of fear at age three, and continual anxiety thereafter, so that I almost feel I could have come into this life with it! However, I was born in the war, my mother had a lot of responsibility and was very anxious, and there was a panic just after I was born as she haemorrhaged badly, so I am pondering about the energetic influences in the womb and first few years that also dictate to us the way to live in life, even before the start of any of the more conscious behaviour demands that we conformed to.
Hi Robyn – I echo all of the above – your words “trying to be what others around me wanted me to be” particularly resonated with me. I have found that the journey back to the true me has been challenging at times, but when I am being me, it feels so much simpler and it’s effortless!
So many people today suffer with anxiety and there are very few people and practitioners who truly understand how to help. Where are we going to be in the future if we continue as a society like this? Anxiety is a very personal experience and in order to truly help we need to connect to each and every person to feel the truth of who they are so we can support them back to that. Everything else drops away as you return to your true self. That is what Serge did with me and it blew me away because up until that point I had been treated for the ‘anxiety’ and not for the choices I had made so early on in my life to walk away from my lovely, tender self. The beauty of being seen for who I really was and am (and not the anxiety) reminded me that there was indeed another way to live. And the rest is history!
Thank you Robyn for your tender and beautifully expressed writing. It has helped me see and understand more clearly how I have lived with similar anxiety and how I change my colours like a chameleon with every encounter I have, just to try and fit in for fear of not being liked. Yes, how completing exhausting. Yet another healing felt from reading these awesome blogs.
The modalities and philosophies of Universal Medicine and the Esoteric are there to empower people to be better equipped to deal with life and how to be confident to just be themselves. What you have written Robyn shows that by bringing these techniques to your life has really made a profound difference.
Thank you for not holding back your awesome insightful contribution. How clearly you have written about what many people suffer from is very healing. Enjoy your return!
Hi Robyn, reading your story helped me reflect on how truly blessed we are to have an understanding of what is truly going on for us. I was also searching for a reason as to why I felt the way I felt prior to Universal Medicine. Serge was the first person who not just heard my cry for help, but understood it as well. Now with the tools I have been bestowed, I now have my own understanding when something does not feel right for me, is there any greater gift than the one that starts you back on your own journey of self awareness/discovery?
Great thank you Robyn. How awful is it that we learn as a child to conform, fit in and to act in a way that other people do not feel uncomfortable? Instead of teaching children to stay connected to their inner beauty, playfulness and clarity. That would be amazingly different!
Robyn, I really liked how you highlighted how debilitating life can be when it is based on others expectations, rather than building our own solid foundations. Isn’t it amazing how we can complicate our lives because we are influenced so much by what others think? Serge Benhayon’s presentations make so much sense by showing us how to simplify life by accessing the answers within.
Wow Robyn, and thank you for not denying the call. It is inspiring and I love your simple recipe for recovery – self-care, true love, and medical assistance where necessary! Beautiful.
Thank you Robyn for sharing your story so openly. I too have suffered anxiousness for much of my life for the same reasons – trying to accommodate a picture of how I should be for others instead of being me! And now, steadily I can feel the real me more and more and as you say, the tenderness and fragility I used to feel as a child but never felt safe to express. It has been a gentle, precious homecoming like no other, a homecoming to the real me.
Beautiful post Robyn. It is interesting to reflect on how exhausting and draining it is trying to fit into what someone else or society is telling us to do or be, and the impact this has on the body – and yet in truth, this is how most of the world is living! How beautiful (& much less exhausting and loving to the body!) to build a foundation based on self-love and being who we truly are – and from ‘that’ allow ourselves to come out and meet the world in the fullness of who we naturally are.
True inspiration – both, your post and Serge Benhayon. Thank you for sharing Robyn