At age 28 my life was out of control. I had a job, girlfriend, home, car, etc and everything appeared to be fine (I sure thought it was) – but for me to get through the day I needed my cans of coke, chocolate, cigarettes and my pot. And that was just the days through the week – come time for the weekend and I needed all that, plus ecstasy and speed. My life was a blur, and whilst I was holding down my job as a bricklayer, I was completely thrashing myself. I took so much pride in being the fastest brickie in the gang, but not so much care in what I was building. I was always a neat worker but I just wanted to get the job done so I could get home and get out of it: I was even contemplating a career change as I had had enough. At the time I thought it was my job that I was sick of, but I look back now and it was my life that was turning me off.
It was around this time that my girlfriend (now wife) was making slight changes in her life as a result of attending a few Universal Medicine events. We clashed on a few changes, and as a result I moved out; this was mainly because I wanted to keep drinking. I was shattered. This was a difficult time as I dearly missed my girlfriend and kids, but I didn’t want to change my life, even though I could see it falling apart. I’m not sure what the turning point was, but after several months I knew something had to change. The drugs I was consuming were making me feel sick and I was not enjoying myself as I used to.
I moved out of the house I shared with two mates and into my own place with no drinking or drugging: I basically cut contact with all my friends as everyone was a pot smoker and I was positive I didn’t want that anymore. It was a little lonely but I felt better within myself. During this time I was making more contact with the family I had left; our relationships started to grow, and I also started attending Universal Medicine events.
All of this had a huge impact on me – I was no longer feeling so alone in the world and I was happy a lot more often. With attending Universal Medicine courses it was interesting as a lot of what was presented was quite confronting and hard to take, but at the same time I left each event feeling a lot clearer in the head and looking forward to life, rather than dreading it. Also, it seemed to make sense what this man called Serge Benhayon was talking about, and he was very easy to be around. I felt very comfortable in his presence as he wasn’t judging me on what I did or how I looked, he was just letting me be me – which was wonderful as most men are comparing/judging/sizing each other up like dogs do when they meet each other (except for the butt sniffing!).
What was confronting was the fact that I came to the realisation that my life was the way it was because of the choices I had made – and boy had I made some shockers! That realisation took a lot to get over as it was so easy to blame this or that and take no responsibility for my actions. Another big one was the word love. Love for me had always been an emotion or a word to use when you wanted to get a girl in bed with you, I never thought of it as an expression of who we are.
Over the next few years my life dramatically changed. I am no longer the scruffy dressing bloke hiding behind the beard and dreadlocks, but am now the handsome clean-shaven, neatly dressed man you see. I now allow myself to feel how I am and how others are, and I don’t see myself as better than or less than anyone else. I have become a gentle, caring, loving and respectful man in all that I do. I am now talking about my feelings. I still lay bricks, but now they are laid with a purpose – I am creating homes, walls, letterboxes etc. for people to live in and around. I now realise that everything is energy so I make a point to lay those bricks as lovingly as I can. Who would you rather have build your home… Tony now, or Tony seven years ago? It’s a no-brainer.
My diet has radically changed. I don’t drink coke for breakfast to wash down the six cones I had just smoked. I barely have sugar in my diet as it is too sweet and it makes me racy or on edge. I eat to support myself to be the best I can be; I don’t eat to a point where I am so full I get tired and need to sleep it off.
My life now doesn’t have the huge swings between the chemical highs and the dreadful lows that always used to follow close by. I am now married to the beautiful woman who gave me the choice between drinking and family years ago, and I am grateful she did, as it gave me time to sort out what I really wanted: our relationship continues to grow as we do. I feel closer with my mother and father now than I can ever remember; mum and I can actually talk about life. I know Dad thinks I’m a bit different and he doesn’t agree with some of my decisions, but he can feel my love. I now want to be around my children as they are lovely people, not just my kids. Of course, at times I still find there are challenges. I have found if I have expectations on how my children should be or what they should do, then I am setting myself up for hurt: I have had to look at why I need my children to look, act or behave in a certain way. Could it be that we need our children to look and act the part so people can say what a great job as a parent you must be doing? The more I let them be themselves and not want them to be anything but themselves, the easier it seems to get. I still set boundaries and pull them up, but I no longer expect a set outcome, or try to control them.
I am not the shy man I once was, thinking I wasn’t worth anything. I enjoy talking to people.
Serge Benhayon never told me what to do or how to be, he simply talked about what happens in life, and gave reasons as to why. He never judged me, and that was cool because I was constantly judged by the way that I looked, and I hated that. Serge is simply a man full of love, sharing with all of us how we too can be full of that same love. I am proud to be his friend.
By T.S.
Related Reading:
Universal Medicine Before and After Photos – the Man beneath the Tattoos and Dreads
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
“I left each event feeling a lot clearer in the head and looking forward to life”. This is a radical turnaround from someone who just wanted to get their day over so they could get home and smoke. Looking forward to life is not something most of us can claim. We may look forward to the next holiday, weekend, café etc. but these are just the treats to make the dullness of life seem bearable.
Thanks for sharing and being so honest on your choices and now how rich your life is… because of your choices!! I know I too have made some shocker choices in my life, but now I choose to make other more honouring ones, letting go of old behaviours that do not suit me anymore, this does feel amazing.
Blaming everything in our life and the systems in place is prevalent in society and to stop and see our lack of responsibility in this ‘victim’ way of living is deeply healing as the choices change.
“What was confronting was the fact that I came to the realisation that my life was the way it was because of the choices I had made – and boy had I made some shockers!”
That is a very impressive story T.S., it asks a lot of true strength to change your life from the intensity it was to the life you live now. I also love that you changed your way with your work, work gets a different purpose when we make it about serving other people and realise that the quality we do things in is felt, so the importance to make it the quality that supports people.
It can be shock to look at the choices we have made that had to us to certain places and outcomes…it can also be deeply empowering and liberating to appreciate the honesty of this observation and begin to make new choices.
“it seemed to make sense what this man called Serge Benhayon was talking about,” So true and it is a pleasure to meet you through your words Tony and to hear how you have made sense of your life.
An amazing turn around, told with such honesty. I love how clear and simple you describe making a choice that is presented to you. It takes a lot of courage for someone to be open at looking at why they need to completely escape their day through what they have been consuming daily for years. Enormous strength. it’s very inspiring.
Tony you are a miracle story, so worth sharing.
It’s interesting how much we defend our lifestyle whilst we are in it, yet as soon as we step out and observe from a spherical point of view it is revealed as the game that it is.
“– but for me to get through the day I needed my cans of coke, chocolate, cigarettes and my pot”, this is a great introduction you give us here T.S. If we all were to make a list of what we need to get through our day, that would give us already a very good understanding where we are at and that more loving choices are being called for.
Yes humility allows us to heal
I remember that feeling of just getting what ever was needed to be done over with really quickly, so I could go home and take drugs. Nothing was as important as getting high. Now nothing is as important as being with me in every moment no matter what I am doing….what a difference to back in those days, which feels like a past life.
‘ I came to the realisation that my life was the way it was because of the choices I had made’ This is the crunch – we are responsible for what happens in our life, and it is so super important to remain a loving student of ourselves.
Amazing that you were given the space to make your choices and were received with Love when you returned.
Bricklayer or not, we have all built structures ‘brick by brick’ that would best hide and encase us behind thick walls of protection. Now we have the opportunity to revisit these structures and seen them for the fortresses and prisons that they are and thus make the choice to dismantle them and steadily rebuild the structure that will best hold us and support our true expression in this world.
Transformation is definitely the word to describe your journey, as it is with so many people who have come to know Serge Benhayon and his work – myself included.
T.S, the transformation that you describe all came down to the choices that you made. I love your honesty about how you missed your girlfriend and kids but had to come to something within yourself to decide whether you wanted yourself and your family or your pot. This is not a decision that another can make for you, it is a decision that only you can make and whatever happens thereafter is for you to deal with. Life is so simple if we let it be.
That’s a great point that you raise about children needing to be a certain way when we get hurt because they don’t act that way. I so often catch myself expecting such high standards from my children so much higher than I live myself, and it puts a great big wedge in between us.
As you have stated TS Serge Benhayon never judges, and often we judge ourselves far more harshly than others do, and let others off the hook by being gentle with them, but often forget to give ourselves the same consideration.
Great to read the transformation and how you have turned your life around to what it is today. I am sure that had you not heeded the wake up call, things would be far different today.
What an amazing transformation, the power of love and making loving choices.
I am so glad you committed to turning your life around, and seeing that the way you were going was not providing you with any true satisfaction- all things you didnt have to choose, but you loved this woman enough to choose your life with her and the kids, in a way that honoured all of you.
This is an amazing story, a miracle indeed. And I would definitely prefer to have my house built, or anything for that matter, by someone who understands and takes care of the energetic impact therefore lives and works with and in love. And your sharing makes me realise that that is what I have to live too. Totally inspiring. Thank you.
I love this sharing, its great to hear from a man who has made different choices, and I would imagine in the construction industry where it is all about being tough and manly this is doubly difficult. It really is our responsibility as men to support each other better and stop falling back on the banter as a form of communication. I admire any man who has the courage to engage with other men in a real and honest way and talk about stuff that actually matters.
There is so much in this blog that is gold, this quote is one of them ” Could it be that we need our children to look and act the part so people can say what a great job as a parent you must be doing? The more I let them be themselves and not want them to be anything but themselves, the easier it seems to get. I still set boundaries and pull them up, but I no longer expect a set outcome, or try to control them.” the investment we have in our kids I often feel is a huge pressure and stifles our children’s natural expression.
It is amazing how healing it can be for someone when we allow the space for them to be and to come to their own realisations in their own time while we hold them with understanding and non-judgement for their actions, this is something I have felt and been deeply inspired by when in the presence of Serge Benhayon. His love for humanity is indescribable and it allows us to know ourselves for who we truly are in all our awe as the sons of God.
It is empowering to know that every choice is with us, that we hold our life in our own hands and thus can make changes that we would not have thought possible.
Every time it amazes me what changes people can make when they are able to meet themselves and connect to that love that lives in their heart equally so. Same with you T.S. what you describe here is unfathomable for our current care system that are there to support people that are in trouble through the choices they had made in life. While they are only looking for solutions the forget that it is actually that simple. Just to be met by someone that does not impose or judge but simply connects to the essence of you, ignites that spark of love that equally lives in all of us and when reignited will grow and become stronger afterwards.
Truly inspiring TS to turn your life around from where you did. Such a pity we have to get so desperately unhappy, unhealthy or unfortunate before we make these sort of life-transformative, self-loving choices!
Thank you TS truly amazing to read your transformation and how you committed to it. Very inspiring.
mmm how many of us have had a time (or still do) where we thought it was a job or career change we need because of being fed up, bored or sick with how our life is when instead what really needs to be address is actually how we live, every moment of every day ‘At the time I thought it was my job that I was sick of, but I look back now and it was my life that was turning me off.’ Years ago I wanted to always change so much in my life and would continually look at the outside things (work, where I was living etc) but not HOW I was living!!!! I agree I would much rather have the Tony now build me a house, wall or letterbox than the Tony before the changes you made. It is truly Gorgeous to hear how things have changed for you, especially your relationships since meeting Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, something that I too can also greatly appreciate the change within my life.
A honest sharing of the different choices we have all made that lead us into despair even though we know deep down inside there is another way to live. Thank you for sharing that everyone’s choices can be different. For what could be considered extreme and to others is may appear to be mild. Either way the hurt of not living the truth vitality that is now part of our lives from the teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine is what needs to be celebrated here. The turn around is truly incredible and the support that can be provided when we are willing to stop and take stock that the way we are living is not true, brings a whole new level of living that undeniable is far greater than one can ever imagine.
One of the many outstanding qualities of Serge Benhayon is that he does not judge people. When we experience not being judged something happens within us, we become more able to face the truth of how we are living. Judgment on the other hand closes us down and we become more defensive and protective of ourselves.
Indeed Elizabeth, thats it. When we are judged we tend to go into protection and with that we build another layer on the brick wall we have created around us as a way of protection. That brick wall does not only not protect us at all, but in fact closes us down as you say and with that withdraw from living a life in full in which we could prosper and grow.
Understanding that our choices have consequences is empowering. The consequences show us the results of our choices. We then have the clarity and power to make different choices.
This is so true Heather and working with children and as a mum, I have often marvelled at how fascinated and delighted children are by the simple physics of ’cause and effect’. Yet something seems to happen to us around teenage years and beyond where we are not wanting to so much see the effect our past choices are currently having on us.
For absolute and undeniable proof of the extraordinary gifts that Universal Medicine offers to humanity, we need to read no further then this beautiful testament… Especially when one knows the writer.
At my own workplace I observe how may people consume bottles of coke throughout the day to get by. If anything, the consumption of cake, coffee and sugar is increasing as people are so exhausted and miss the sweetness of themselves so much.
This is such a gorgeous and humble story Tony and knowing you now i can absolutely vouch for the gorgeous and tender man you’ve become. And absolutely I would have you laying bricks much moreso than the Tony of those years back.
“At the time I thought it was my job that I was sick of, but I look back now and it was my life that was turning me off.”
I love this sentence, because it is something I observe and hear a lot, people think it is their job or something else on the outside that needs to change and I was in that trap for a long time myself, always believing the next relationship would be better. To then learn through the inspiration from Serge Benhayon that if I change my approach to life and bring me into everything I do then everything changes from the inside out.
The life you have now chosen for yourself is an extraordinary transformation from who and what you lived before… you are literally a different man, inspirationally so. It is truly amazing what can come from choosing responsibility over blame.
How many of us have stood back and watched our lives shatter and fall apart around us and yet have still resisted the changes we know in our hearts we need to make. What are we doing to ourselves and everyone else when we do this?
Thank you for sharing the way you bought quality back to your life with a number of changes. What rang true was the willingness to not judge your self as this was felt by the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. The choices to change were there TS and you were making them when you were ready to deal with the next marker of truth. Truly inspiring!
This is a great sharing T.S and shows that if you build a house on a foundation of sand it will crumble overtime and not be able to withstand the pressure. Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine offers practical and honest bricks of living that support and inspire us to explore them for ourselves and uncover our own foundations for life. Thank you T.S.
So often when we are not happy we change jobs, living arrangements or locations thinking these changes will make us happy, when in reality nothing outside of us can make us can fulfil us.
We have an enormous capacity to make the abnormal normal if it suits us. The process of normalisation of what obviously does not belong with us is simply an indication that life is about oneself, although not even so because the normalisation of the abnormal is not even good for self.
Amazing! And yes, I’d totally want the Tony who lives his life with integrity, self responsibility and love to build the foundational walls of my house!!
Wow Toni you really changed your life so that it is now full of love how inspirational is that!
This is a powerful sharing TS and such an awesome transformation you’ve made. When faced with the crossroad you chose LOVE. Very inspiring.
Wow that’s such a massive change to move out and stop all drinking and drugs, often people get stuck in behaviours and really struggle with big changes, but I think you have presented the key here – and that is a total commitment to make your life truly loving.
What really comes through in this blog is just how nonjudgemental Serge Benhayon is and how powerfully healing this is. We are so used to judging ourselves and each other that it is a relief to meet someone who does not judge but instead who sees our essence first before all the ways that we try and hide it.
What a life changing turn around! This is a miracle to see such changes in someone, a completely different person. It’s proof that often who we think we are is so far from who we truly are and with healing and self love we can all return to the true us.
We have all made quite a few shockers – they key is not to dwell on them but see them for what they are and the energy we choose to align to when we made those choices. After all I know for sure that love would not have chosen many of the shockers that I have made!
And I love that you are still laying bricks. When the chips were down in my life I often contemplated changing jobs, homes, countries, girlfriends, cars, clothes..anything that avoided me taking responsibility myself. All of these things are supportive and need looking at, but none of them will change the game – only changing our own movements and choices will do that.
Tony – this is a phenomenal testimonial to the power that we all have to make life-changing choices if we have the courage and commitment to so do. The choice is absolutely ours and you have made some stupendous choices. Full respect. A glorious example to all and a gloriously transparent expression that allows so many others to see themselves in your words.
I love your title – my sense is we can all relate to it, we’ve all made a few shockers in life. I love what you have shared here, deeply honest, exposing and claiming. We definitely have all had hurts we’ve not wanted to feel and then layer up the protections and then the self abuse through whatever medium suits, comes in. I went through my own stint of drug abuse in my 20’s, it was an incredibly lonely, depressive and debilitating time. So can understand a lot of what you have shared. Thank you.
This is a powerful piece of writing that is world newsworthy; it says it all without any put downs or judgment. We have all made ‘shocker choices’ to numb ourselves from feeling but at what cost to ourselves and others? We clearly hurt ourselves more with our various methods of protection that if we simply allowed ourselves to feel. This is a very inspiring blog T.S. thank you for coming back to you.
There is much to appreciate here – but the stand out remark is how your life no longer swings between the massive highs and lows. That way of living is so common, marketed through the drama in daily soap operas and reinforced by the way society lives its life. Yet the rollercoaster is far from our true potential.. its only when there is a deep stillness inside us that we can see deep within to the divinity that we all have. For me, when I got a glimpse of that, that was when I realised that the drama is simply a distraction from the potential gorgeousness that is waiting deep inside us all.
Wow amazing blog and amazing to hear the changes you made, I am for one deeply inspired.
Amazing transformation of what happens when we say yes to love, thanks for sharing Tony and for being a true role model for us all.
It’s true Tony, when we thrash our bodies with the way we live our every day and pay no attention to the detail or the quality that we attend our responsibilities and work in it erodes the very value of all that we do.
I am 99.9999% sure that everyone has made shocker choices in their lifetimes, with varying flavours.
If this is the case then why the secret nature of hiding them as a shame when indeed it is as common as breathing.
This links to the analogy that anything left in the dark starts to develop mould. Meaning that what is left un dealt with becomes more messy and difficult to clean up if left unattended.
I love this blog, what you share is very powerful, a story that has stayed with me. The transformations that occur within the Universal Medicine Student body are inspirational.
A beautiful account of a bricklayer building a foundation of love for life.
“What was confronting was the fact that I came to the realisation that my life was the way it was because of the choices I had made”; I agree it can be very confronting especially when we own our shocking choices. I love how you took responsibility, making different choices to turn your life around.
Hmm I can so relate to what you say about being fast in what you do ‘but not so much care in what I was building’ Tony. Haste will always compromise quality.
Yes Tony I think the houses you build today would hold a far stronger foundation
What has given you the strength to change and then to be consistent in your choice, is inside you, Tony. This is so beautifully expressed in your writing. What Serge Benhayon does is to support to connect to this inner strength. I love this about Serge, because it leaves you free.
“What was confronting was the fact that I came to the realisation that my life was the way it was because of the choices I had made ” Waking up to the responsibility we all have for our own lives is big. We complain and blame situations and people outside of ourselves, but it all comes back to the choices we make….Great sharing TS.
What a beautiful sharing of how one can really make choices that are loving and evolving. There was another way your story could have turned out, but your clearly took responsibility for what you did want and wanted your life to be about. Really wonderful to read and be inspired by.
This blog really shows the true power of inspiration and love. I have often been caught telling someone what to do but this shows it is far more powerful to inspire another through our way of living
Loved your sharing T.S. really honest and shows the progress of the common man coming back to his natural way with himself and those around him.
Thank you Tony I agree. Seeing we are responsible for all our choices in life starts the true healing. Serge Benhayon shares by looking into his past choices and seeing them in a responsible way with no judgment and the healing process can start. To me this was a revelation and the start of me letting go of my deep hurts that caused the misadventures into drug abuse. This is true healing!
What you are saying here Greg is so important, that is, to only look back at past choices and see them in a responsible way, with no judgement, allowing for the healing process to start. Allowing the space for the hurts to come up and lovingly be with that, yourself. I know for me it took some time to truly bring love to that process, not beating myself up for past choices. There is a way to heal without it being a traumatic process.
What a great story TS, you may have made some shockers but you have also made many beautiful and self honouring ones also. It appears as if the shockers are few and far between now!
What a wonderful realisation that our lives are a result of choices we have made.
Cool turnaround TS, what I registered is the care you now apply to laying bricks
What a lovely confirmation TS that we can all make different choices. I love how you took care not to beat yourself up for past choices but also knew you had to create a more supportive surrounding for yourself in order to implement the changes you wanted to without being influenced by others. To make changes for you. That is pretty cool.
“but not so much care in what I was building” this could also relate to ourselves, in the sense of how we are our body, building love and care, on a day to day basis.
” he was just letting me be me” this is one if not the most amazing feelings in life.
“At the time I thought it was my job that I was sick of, but I look back now and it was my life that was turning me off.” This is huge – something that so many people could relate to I’m sure. It’s beautiful to read of the changes that you’ve made and the difference in how you feel now.
The changes that have occurred in your life through your choices are awesome to read. I really enjoyed the way your write as well, to the point and clear. I agree whole heartedly concerning what you write about Serge Benhayon “Serge is simply a man full of love, sharing with all of us how we too can be full of that same love.” I have found this deeply inspiring, I know this for myself now and I learning to live from this place. Thank you for sharing.
This is an awesome testimony that shows that choosing love does not mean to change your life or who you are, but the quality we live in. It also shows how the choices we take are not who we are, but just issues we load on ourselves that hold us back from fully being ourselves. What you thought was your identity actually wasn’t and it was nothing more than a way to not be fully in life. This is how we were all brought up to put on this faces and think that this is who we are. It is beautiful to read in your testimonial that this is a big illusion and that we can all choose differently. Thank you for sharing Tony!
This is a very inspirational story T.S; I so appreciate and admire the transformation and the loving choices you have made.
We have all made “shockers” but what I so love about you is your honesty and your level of self responsibility and awareness.
To be honoured and truly supported by your wife is awesome; what a power couple!!
T.S, this is really beautiful to read. The changes you have made are truly incredible… I loved hearing about the choice your wife gave you and your discovering of being sick of existing through life. I love your little hint into why most are dissatisfied with their jobs too.. “At the time I thought it was my job that I was sick of, but I look back now and it was my life that was turning me off.” and what you found out about love.. ‘Love for me had always been an emotion or a word to use when you wanted to get a girl in bed with you, I never thought of it as an expression of who we are.’ Thank you for sharing this awesome Gem.
I agree Katie, I have found that whenever I was running away from any issues and chose to move to a new home or new job those same issues followed me to wherever I went. When you stop and realise this fact it’s really quite fascinating.
Great blog TS I have to say a lot of your story matches mine I also made choices that were shockers. My wife also started going to Universal Medicine events which over a period of time brought a gradual change as I started attending them too and the more often I went the less I could tolerate my old life until none of it felt right anymore.
TS what stands out is that when you were presented with truth by your girlfriend (now wife) and Serge Benhayon you were offered a choice that was not there before, and that by choosing love all other details of your life began to realign with that. I sure would love to live in a house that you lay the bricks for now.
TS, I love the fact that you made choices to change, not because anyone told you to, not because your girlfriend said ‘if you do this, you can come back’ (what a wise woman she is), but because you felt to. And though challenged, continued to feel, and make more choices to be the amazing home maker that you are as the bricks you lay build homes now, not just houses.
You sure did rebuild your life TS in the same way that you built homes- brick by brick no matter the shocking choices you made. Fantastic how you were able to see through the haze in your life and make such huge, loving choices.
To move out, take those decisions and move back in again is very astonishing and absolutely amazing. To have this strength and continuity is so very loving in the true sense – of both of you and your partner!
What an amazing sharing TS, such an open and honest account of your life and your turn around. You had a choice, and you went for it, such an inspiring account of what is possible when we choose love.
TS, that in an amazing story. I think this blog needs some photos to accompany it but it is so powerful that you kind of see the images in your imagination as your reading. Your writing so refreshing honest and humble. You laid the most beautiful brick counter for me at my cafe and you could certainly feel the love in it. What a before an after…whoa is all I can say.
I love this blog T.S. – such an honest account of your life and your choices. It’s an inspiring example of how taking responsibility for our choices and learning to self care and love, can result in powerful lasting life changes.
Thank you TS for such a great sharing, it is truly inspiring to know a man who has said no to making ill choices for himself and said yes to embracing his tenderness and love for himself and share it with others.
And this is where the true power lies Francisco…. When by our own choices we offer inspiration for all others to do the same
Totally Angela true power lies in our own choice to heal and this is the emanation that inspires others to seek their own truer choices.
Dear TS, your words are very special, your story so honest and succinctly told and I can totally relate to every bit of it. I feel nothing but love in them. What struck me above all though was that you do not give your power away to Serge Benhayon. You do not lavish praises upon him for ‘saving’ you but instead speak of how his words and way of living inspired you to make your own different choices, that you consider him a friend. It’s the absolute truth TS, Serge Benhayon is a good friend. He never judges nor does he pander to, anyone’s waywardness. He simply reflects another way. This is true love in action, and this is why so many people are inspired by him to empower themselves to make more loving choices. I am one of these people too.
Wow Tony the changes you have made in your life are a living miracle. I have seen your before and after photos and it is truly beautiful to see how you have completely changed your life from drugs and misery to now a life full of love and true service – what an inspiration you are.
Yes Anna the before and afters tell an amazing story.
An amazing story. It’s really beautiful to feel your honesty and tenderness in your words. What a transformation you have achieved. A true inspiration.
i think we’ve probably all made a few shockers in our time, but it just goes to show, what’s important is wether we can except them and learn from them.
Beautiful sharing how you had the choice and that you went for love. Your wife is a lucky woman.
This is beautiful TS, thank you for sharing so honestly. It would be lovely and nurturing to live in a house that has had the brickwork done by you.
This is quite a transformation TS. I can remember well the ‘huge swings between the chemical highs and the dreadful lows that always used to follow’ but have also had the good fortune to benefit from knowing Serge, and learning from him. My life is immeasurably improved, and it’s a path I will continue to follow as the benefits of having love in my life are the only currency.
Beautiful Tony! As you said, if smoking pot and drinking coke is your breakfast is not hard to imagine the state of your being while working and the quality of what you delivered by then. As you do life with love the quality of your bricklaying is totally different now. What a blessing for the people that will live in that house!
Totally agree emfeldman a blessing indeed and a transformation that is truly inspiring.
Its powerful to read how you have re-built your life TS with care, step by step. I feel your tenderness and attention to detail in the way you write too. What beautiful foundations you have laid here for the rest of your life.
This is an a amazing sharing of how life can change significantly when you want to make different choices. Inspired by others who are comfortable in their skins!
It was wonderful that you were able to come to the realization that you were where you were at because of the choices you had made, and felt to take responsibility for them which resulted in the transformation to the man you are today. What a beautiful reflection you are to your family and those you work with.
Reading about how your life was, and where it as now TS, I’ve really had to stop and consider the depth of this. I’m sure you could write a book (or several) on what your life was, in stark contrast to how it is – and you are – today. This is nothing short of miraculous, and speaks of the true transformation that real love can bring, when we allow its inspiration to touch the place inside of us that does know ‘we can do things differently’.
Your wife and Serge Benhayon are indeed both remarkable people for the way they live their lives, inspiring you so. As undoubtedly you inspire so many now yourself – a man returned from such a deeply lost and out of control place.
How very wise you have become TS after a short burst of a Universal Medicine – very inspiring!
It’s amazing how Serge Benhayon presents in an energy that can give us clarity, that we can make more responsible and correct choices to support and build more clarity for ourselves.
That is the difference between Serge Benhayon and others who present – he lives his choices in his body. He presents in the wisdom he lives. You feel the energy of his words.
I too have changed my life of so much self-abuse to Love in every part of my life and consistently. That’s right I have no issues. And it’s the only way to live !!
Such a gorgeous and honest account of events. The gentle, caring, loving and respectful man you have become is clear from your words and your appreciation for Serge Benhayon is deeply felt. Looking forward to life rather than dreading it is a blessing in itself considering the latter sadly seems to be the norm for many. The power of what Universal Medicine offers as you have seen, is just remarkable. Thank you for sharing your story, it was just awesome to read.
This was so beautiful and inspiring to read TS as I felt you shared yourself with such honesty. It is so amazing to feel the difference in life when we make the shift to begin to take true responsibility for the way we live and how this impacts not only on us but everyone. How awesome for you and your family that everyone now gets to feel the real you! Thank you for all that you shared I am deeply inspired.
It is a powerful moment when you come to the point of realising that the way your life is, is simply a result of the choices we have made. It is powerful because you become aware that you can take responsibility and make changes that can turn your life around. A beautiful sharing of your return to you – thank you TS.
That was so inspiring, for a man to live all that you said is truly a loving and honest way of your life, to which I too now need to take that responsibility. Thank you so much.
Serge Benhayon is indeed a true role model and wonderful inspiration; I would not be where I am today without him and Universal Medicine.
It does all come down to responsibility – which is the bit most of us struggle with. It was such a a blessing that your girlfriend stopped being willing to compromise and asked you to choose between numbing out and actually having the potential for love in your family.
What an inspiring story of having the courage to let go of what all your friends were doing and to follow your heart, thank you Tony.
Your account, reflects what Serge Benhayon has brought to so many people, not telling them what to do, but simply living and presenting as a reflection of the love that we all have inside us, should we choose to stop looking outside of ourselves for something to make our life better, rather amazing and full of love.
T.S. – an incredible turn around! I hesitantly came to Universal Medicine presentations and warily watched Serge Benhayon. I was very defended around what was presented but did know that despite any of my arrogance, stubbornness and pride etc. it did make sense, so kept coming back for more. Never have I felt any judgement from Serge or any Universal Medicine staff or practitioners, which has been inspirational. I am grateful for the acceptance and support and know that my life is so much better with the changes I have made.
Thank you TS for choosing to have a life full of joy and being a role model for so many men you meet and work with. You show other people that you can stop the abusive life of hiding in drugs and alcohol and it must be a joy to live in a house that has been build by TS now, that’s for sure a no brainer.
I feel happy for the people for whom you build houses TS. The choice you made to turn your life around allowed you to discover the beauty-full and caring man you always were.
“I came to the realisation that my life was the way it was because of the choices I had made”, – this is something I too came to understand and except with the support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. I was surprised at how stubborn I was about this and even when I did understand and except it, I still wanted to blame others. I am still refining this but in being able to take responsibility for every little part of my life gives me complete freedom, I am never a victim nor at the mercy of the outside or another person, I always have a choice.
There are many choices we make to get ourselves into a state of drug dependency it isn’t just a quick fix to get off them but TS’s story beautifully shares the many layers he worked on and the choices that he made to be able to live not only without drugs but a full life. He isn’t a recovering drug addict but a person who has chosen love and life.
TS, your whole heart was on this page! You write so eloquently and beautifully, your story is amazing, you are a true inspiration to everyone. I can’t wait to read this next instalment of how this beautiful man unfolds. You have summarised so well what Universal Medicine is about, and how it can support every person from every walk of life. We just have to make the choice to bring love into our lives. Very uplifting and inspiring blog – thankyou TS.
Tony the quality of house you build now would definitely be one I would love to live in.
You are a gorgeous man TS, and I would be honoured to have you lay bricks for me, just as you are now.
How strange it is that we pretend that every choice we make doesn’t affect all we do.
If I smoke cones and drive there is every chance I will have an accident, or lose my license if I get pulled over..so why would I ever imagine that my bricklaying, or indeed every other form of work would not be affected.
Yet this is a game we all play. It is the game you woke up from TS, and knowing you I know exactly what a beautiful man was revealed when you stopped playing ball with those “shocker” choices.
Well put Rachel – how obvious is it that the way we live is going to directly affect our relationships, our work, our health… attracting results in the same energy as how we are treating ourselves.
Thank you for sharing your story, it’s a true inspiration and it felt so easy and light, no hard work, just discovering more joy and being yourself.
Yes an awesome blog TS of sharing how you have totally turned your life around. You had a choice and you chose love, in the true sense. What a blessing for your family, the people you build for, and all of humanity.
Thank you TS for sharing your story, it is so inspiring on many levels
I love the way you have expressed so honestly and claimed responsibility for your choices whether they be harming or healing, really awesome Tony.
Wow, what a beautiful blog T.S.
How amazing and supportive it must be to live in a house where every brick has been placed with love and gentleness!
Thanks for sharing TS, it’s lovely to hear of your journey and how you decided to make some changes in looking after yourself more. I too have been inspired by Serge Benhayon to make more loving changes in my life, and I couldn’t be more thankful.
What an inspiring story this is. You were so entrenched in your lifestyle and blindly going from one weekend to the next in what appeared to be misery. Look at your life now, a total turn around and some would say, a living miracle. I adore how you claim being a beautiful man – I could feel the truth in this statement very clearly.
So beautifully expressed Tony. The changes and choices you made are so inspiring and so supportive for any one in a similar situation feeling that they can’t find their way out, and clearly demonstrates the deep love and support Serge Benhayon offered on your journey back to self love.
Thank you T.S. great sharing and as you say Serge Benhayon is simply a man full of love.
Beautifully expressed Toni – I am so glad that you have allowed that handsome man full expression; yours is a truly inspiring story!
So cool Tony, I love the way you write and it’s very understandable. I look at your before and after photos and I am amazed at the transformation, it’s almost a miracle what you were once in to now being the amazing, very loving man that you are. I am inspired!
An incredible turnaround for a man who was caught up in the cycle of not enjoying life and doing drugs and booze to take the edge of and to cope. So very inspiring for anyone who feels trapped or stuck in that cycle to know that by making different choices about how you look after yourself, you can slowly and gently turn your life around, as you have.
I so agree Tony. Serge Benhayon explains how life is, why things are the way they are and how things happen. He is an amazing time man and so are you with all of the changes you have made.
Tony, what an amazing story to share, and what a great example of what Serge Benhayon offers. Serge presents, and you take it or leave it: this is something that a lot of people may not understand. Your story shows that if you take what is on offer what positive change may come. The power for change is up to us – here it is on a silver platter.
Tony, your story is a true inspiration to humanity and one example of what the enormous loving support Serge Benhayon offers, can do. I would love to have someone as amazing as you build a house for me one day.
Two things really touched me about your blog, first how you now do your work and that it is about the homes that people live in. This is such a different way in doing a job, thank you for sharing this. And I just got so inspired about what you share about your kids and how you parent them. I can so relate to having expectations and it is just wonderful to read how you have addressed this and have made the choice to let go of these expectations and how you have become aware what this says about you. Thank you so much for your sharing.
What you touch on at the end – true relationship with our family, and with our children in particular – is a big one: do we as parents simply let our children be, or do we impose upon them our own needs, insecurities, and personal ambitions perhaps? If true love is a fullness from within us, then what need have we for our children to be anything other than who and what they naturally are? Anything else in our relationship with our children is simply reflecting an undealt-with issue that we have within ourselves.
This is so beautiful to read T.S. I have tears in my eyes, what amazing changes you have made. As mother to a 4 year old boy its a great reminder for me to read, ‘Could it be that we need our children to look and act the part so people can say what a great job as a parent you must be doing? The more I let them be themselves and not want them to be anything but themselves, the easier it seems to get. I still set boundaries and pull them up, but I no longer expect a set outcome, or try to control them.’, gorgeous, thank you for these wise words T.S, you are a true inspiration.
Thank you, TS. What touches me about this blog is how love brought you back to yourself, and how open you were to ‘going there’ – looking at your choices and getting the support you needed to gradually turn things around. Serge Benhayon is a true friend, as you say, because he only ever sees the essence that lies behind the mask – the dreadlocks, the tailored suit or whatever we have chosen to hide our light behind.
Fantastic sharing I loved the way you write, very playful.
Dear T.S., the story of your journey to freedom is truely inspiring and amazing. Love and tenderness are what I felt reading it. Thank you
Just wow, Thank you for sharing how power-full and the affects that our choices have not just on ourselves but those around us.
Great to re-visit this and it is amazing that at the pivotal moment, you choose your health and quit the smoking and drinking and faced the loneliness that came as a consequence. You are very correct when you say that Serge Benhayon does not judge, but is simply full of love. He is straight talking and says exactly what we need to hear in order to support us to address our issues, even when it’s the last thing we want to hear, but he never judges us. We are left to make our own decisions and feel the effect of those decisions and it’s great when we start making ones that support our bodies and help us feel well and in love with life.
I am really pleased to be revisiting this blog. It is so beautiful to feel the tenderness in a man and the changes that occur when we allow ourselves to feel and express it. It is lovely to know you as my brother and I find the changes inspiring. When I feel overwhelmed I remind myself of you, and the other Universal Medicine students who have also made loving life changes, and I think if they they can do that then so can I. Thank you for sharing.
Johnathan, I love how you say “When I feel overwhelmed I remind myself of you..”. I can really feel the support and inspiration being shared.
At times I have been SO overwhelmed by life and by the situation of humanity, and I am truly and deeply inspired and encouraged each time I feel others pull themselves up and start to really embrace life and love.
Thank you T.S, a truly deeply beautiful blog, I felt every word you expressed. I love how you took the time to make the changes yourself, to listen to how you and your body really felt, what a blessing people will receive. I too feel very still and deeply honoured to have read your blog.
I like in this article the journey you have made into manhood, fatherhood and beyond. Thank you.
Awesome post TS.
Thank you so much for your post T.S! Your loving choices are healing and a blessing for us all 🙂
Super cool words TS. Really lovely. Thank you for sharing.
I too have made some shockers of choices… It’s been quite an unravelling of that pattern. But like you I am so glad Serge allowed me the space to see a new way forward and never judged me for where I was at. Even now, I just feel acceptance and love and beauty in me when I interact with him or UM.
Hi TS, while reading I became very still and humble. What an amazing, simple, honest and loving story. I feel like wanting to read more:-). Thank you TS.
Thank you T.S. for your beautiful, honest post. The love and tenderness which I can feel in this post, gives me a sense of what it truly is to be a man. It is such a healing for me to gain this understanding rather than the tough image I’ve always had, convinced that all men can’t show love and ultimately only hurt and let us down. You are an inspiration to me.
So true Gina, it is such a gift for a man to show us his tenderness, to not hide it because we have created a society that only recognises toughness. That takes true courage and it is a very beautiful healing that T.S has given us all.
What an awesome inspiration TS…
Beautiful TS, it is clear you have come a long way and had the courage to face all your choices and seek to choose you and your love rather than the addictions and self loathing. You are living proof that inside us all lies a beauty that is beyond our comprehension until we begin to meet it and understand how glorious we are. Can you come and lay some bricks in the U.K sometime? We would love to have some of your love encapsulated in concrete over here.
Indeed Rowena, we are all equal and there is beauty, love and tenderness inside us all. How glorious it is to know that we can all return to love if we choose to.
Thank you, we’ve all made some shocking choices over the years, and it’s with great humility I read your absoluteness and honest sharing. It is an inspiring story of new choices and I can feel the deep joy in the transformation that has taken place in your life and the lives of those around you.
I love love love this account of your transformation – green frogs must be your companions on the way. What you have written feels so real, and so joyful, and so honest. Thanks!
What a turnaround you have chosen for yourself, TS, and how joyous for all who love you to have seen you reclaiming the beautiful man you are.
Thats awesome TS what an inspiration!
Thank you, love your honesty.
A great story of transformation TS …awesome. Thank you for sharing your journey back towards the giant love that you are, and the amazingness that can be for self and for all, as a result.
A great down to earth article T.S. with many lessons for us. Fantastic how you were able to see through the haze in your life and make such huge, loving choices.
TS, I cried tears with the beauty of what you have shared. Such a great inspiration for other men as well as women to be open to the love a man can present.
Sharon
I never saw tears coming as I started reading the post or even half way through, but by the end… they were there. And when you exclaimed about your past choices: “…and boy had I made some shockers! I went: Join the club – Oh boy, oh boy, have I made some shockers too!
You sure did rebuild your life in the same way that you build homes – brick by brick, (step by step).
Exquisite expression T, for which I am truly grateful.
Brilliant analogy Dragana, re-building our lives brick by brick no matter the shocking choices we may have made.
Great analogy Dragana, can’t help but enjoy how you’ve built on the original blog!
Such a gorgeous account of you and your life and the loving changes you have made T.S. A lovely inspiration to others . Thank you for sharing you.
Wow TS, what a little bit of personal responsibility will do for a life and all those around it. Thanks for sharing this story. it reminds me to keep looking for those loving choice.
Thanks TS for sharing this incredible adventure of returning to love,
We all benefit from the healing you chose.
Awesome, awesome, awesome… I loved reading your post… thanks for sharing and being so candid on your choices and now how rich your life is… because of your choices!! and I can feel the ripple effect you have on so so many people!! Nice one TS!!
Thank you T.S.!
Love your honesty. Thanks for sharing.
T.S. now sounds very awesome and it is definitely a no brainer on who I would want to be laying bricks. Thank you for your reflections on parenting as there are so many expectations that we hold about our children. It gets much easier for everyone involved in the family when we start to let the expectations go. In fact it can be lots of fun!