Changing the Reference Point in My Life

by Vicky Cooke, Customer Service Advisor, London, UK

With all the lies and ill-allegations made towards Serge Benhayon, the Universal Medicine Team and many of us recently, I have noticed something. When I was younger and something didn’t feel right, I used to say it didn’t feel right. An example would be listening to the news and politicians talking, and thinking that sounds like a load of crap, saying this to my parents, and wondering why people who to me only felt like they were in it for themselves, seemed to be deciding our fate. Why was it just up to these few people, when clearly all the decisions and actions they were taking and making didn’t seem to be for all, or improving anything?

As the years went by I stopped questioning and started accepting. Feeling that I didn’t matter, that one voice doesn’t count, that everyday people cannot make a change and we had to let others decide our fate and just get on with it. Only recently have I come to deeply realise that by just accepting this, not only did I give up on life – I also buried my voice of reason and questioning deep within and let it be silenced.

Currently in my life I have a reference point where I can look at where I am now, to how I was a few years ago and go wow (!), I have changed a lot – for the better.

Recently I had to move out of the flat I was renting, and move in with my parents. This felt like an opportunity to give myself a bit of space, a stop and a breather to feel what is truly right for me moving forward with my life, and it felt like the most supportive thing for me to do.

This was where I could see how much I have changed.

Before meeting Serge Benhayon and attending courses and workshops, I had moved back with my parents some years ago. I was stroppy, blaming them for my life, frustrated and definitely not taking responsibility for my life and how I had lived it. I also felt lost. I was not sure about where I was going or what I was going to do for a living. In fact I didn’t even speak with them when I was living with them – how crappy was that!

So now… this time being with them, I really appreciate them for just being who they are. It feels really supportive to be able to stay with them and just give myself a bit of time. I am certainly not blaming them for my life. I no longer feel frustrated or lost; in fact I feel really lovely – so much clearer and much more joy-full. I have an understanding that how I live every day affects the next day. This makes such sense, and I wish I knew this or was taught this at school. I know how I can support myself whilst I am staying with them – even if I don’t know where I am going to be living next, or what I am going to be doing. My focus is on how I can support myself with food (that is a massive learning in itself), with sleep, and so many other tools I have been given and learnt. And I am starting to take responsibility for my life and all the choices that I make – even though there are still times when I can feel I don’t want to do this because it’s more comfortable to get away with not taking responsibility. This doesn’t feel lovely for me, it just feels that I am not listening to what I know feels true.

So it’s really beautiful for me to see this and confirm how much I have changed, which again is something I would not have felt able to truly do for myself in the past. And it feels fab, really great to see and feel this within myself compared to how I was – I felt pretty yucky back then. There is still a lot to learn and possibly change, but it is a massive improvement, and the learning and changing part just feels like a natural progression and unfolding instead of a drive that says I have to be better.

I recently read a blog  that said There was very little in life that was reflecting back to me that how I was living my life was not true.’

This really resonated with me and I could feel the deep appreciation in me that what Serge Benhayon has been presenting over the years is amazing and so needed. It is consistent, simple, true (I can definitely feel that), and it makes sense. It feels like it is everything I wanted to be taught and learn when growing up as a kid, but no-one in my life could teach me.

So it’s true – Serge is amazing and so are we.

196 thoughts on “Changing the Reference Point in My Life

  1. Spot on Elizabeth – it is so important to stop, take stock and appreciate who we are and what we bring and the changes we have made that have allowed us to reclaim our power.

  2. There are still so many areas in my life where I have not taken responsibility, and there are so many areas in life where I have now taken responsibility. The more I claim back these areas, the more it highlights what is needed next and also supports in the pull to continue.

  3. Vicky, you talked about how we can just be quiet and stop the questioning and simply accept that this is how it is and that there is nothing we can do about it…This is something I too am familiar with having done, and yet this is embracing the mass consciousness that envelops those who give their power away in this way. To reclaim that power is a process and can be painful at times as we extricate ourselves from the web, and yet it is an incredibly freeing experience and well worth it. I am not here talking about an anarchist approach nor a fight back with belligerance, arrogance or attitude, but rather a simple re-claiming of the power that we hold and then expressing that with the enormity of the love that we are so that it is delivered with deep care and respect and honouring of self and all.

  4. We know when something does not sit right, and when we are younger we are generally more honest in expressing these things. But over time we may learn that this is not socially correct or that this or that could offend another (even if this is not at all our intent or the way we have said something), and so we learn to shut down our true expression. But this over time is a very damaging experience for us – to not express how we feel can impact us in more ways than we realise.

  5. So many people can attest to what you have shared Vicky that meeting Serge Benhayon was a turning point in our life and now when we look back as you have done we can see the difference in our life style. What Serge Benhayon presents is consistent, simple and also repetitive, Serge Benhayon can say the same thing in a myriad of different ways I feel this is to breakdown the structure of this arrogant part of ourselves that we call the spirit so that it is completely exposed in the mind games it plays and controls us by.

  6. Thanks Vicky for sharing all your changes, I have also made many wonderful changes to my life inspired by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, but I can also feel today how much more self love there is and self care on offer still. It’s like I have turned a page and opened up a new awareness of the next steps to take even deeper loving care of myself.

  7. Thank you Vicky, and may I add that as we unfold as students we become responsible for deepening our understanding that our true parents are God and the Stars, which is taking us back to true responsibility.

  8. Wow. This is true change. How often do we think we have changed when we are in a different job/living arrangement etc. but really what happened was we just uprooted ourselves from one place and replanted in another and nothing about or in us changed.

  9. Returning to a place with which we have established an emotional relationship is a great opportunity to realize to what extent we are trapped in a pattern of movement or we had moved forward from it.

  10. Gorgeous to read all your appreciation for your parents, for yourselves and the changes you made, Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. Feels like building a platform from which more growth and deepening of love can unfold.

  11. Deep inside each of us is the reference point that is talked of in this article. Our innate knowing of what is true and not, is there. Whether we feel and honour it depends on how hard we have worked to silence it. Therefore we all have the choice every day to stop the hard work and begin to allow it to again be felt and followed.

  12. That is big for many people, to let go of the judgement that you have towards your parents and to let it go and just accept them and not blame them for your life but accept the choices you made and learn from them. So often people can move through life still carrying the baggage of hurts from their childhood.

  13. Yesterday, whilst writing about my life, I had cause to reflect on how I have changed over the past 7 years – since first meeting Serge Benhayon. It is very simple really but deeply profound. I have learned to love myself more. The most obvious impact of this is in my relationships with others – which are now more harmonious than they have ever been. I find that this is because, when I love myself more, I no longer need the other person to be anything for me – I am not seeking love from them – and can hence just allow them to be as they choose. The philosophies of Serge Benhayon are clearly working in my life and in the lives of many others I know. And we would all welcome greater harmony in our lives wouldn’t we?

  14. Vicky you bring up a really valuable point here, understanding that how we live every day affects how we live the next day and so on. I was in my 40’s when I met Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, where I was presented with the idea that energy and our choices affects our everyday lives, which made total sense to me, what really surprised me was here I am at 40+ learning a really valuable lesson, and I had to ask myself why are we not teaching this at school, because if we were we would be far better equipped for living our lives.

  15. I’ve shared a similar experience in the way my attitude towards my life has changed dramatically since attending workshops and courses run by Universal Medicine. Essentially, I have been reminded that I am responsible for my self, my family, friends, colleagues etc are not responsible for my reactions, behaviours, self esteem, drama etc. Consequences are a result of choices, choices I make…good or bad. I can choose to learn from them, or keep repeating them over and over. Self responsibility has unlocked a lot for me. I can get on with life without wasting time wallowing in what could have been.

  16. So relatable! I have experienced a very similar thing. Since attending courses and workshops with Universal Medicine, I have taken absolute control and responsibility of my life. I can see so clearly when I want to go into blame mode, which I know now is simply an attempt to pass the buck.

  17. When life around us doesn’t reflect what we know to be true – which is that we are loving beings, then there is a doubt that creeps in about what we innately know and what we see so many people living as normal. But what if, as babies, as children, we knew more than the adults living around us because we were more connected to the source? What if we were the reminder of the truth the adults had forgotten about and we walked away from that and joined them because we doubted our value versus their value?

    1. Great example Lucy – and so we get to understand the importance of living what we know to be true even if everyone else around us says this is not the case. We cannot let ourselves be convinced nor our truth to be diluted to just fit in… for this is a sacrifice that serves no one.

  18. ‘I have an understanding that how I live every day affects the next day. This makes such sense, and I wish I knew this or was taught this at school.’ Now that we know and can feel the truth of this it is our responsibility to share this with the world.

    1. Now that would be a different class room Mary, that would worth the visit. Adding to what you have shared we could also learn that we are responsible for our-thoughts and thus our-expression with the understanding of the energy they come with.

  19. Vicky it’s so amazing what you have shared about the change in your family relationships, and how this has come about from self care and taking responsibility for yourself. I have also experienced a lot of very positive changes in my relationships since studying with Universal Medicine and in some cases I thought that these situations would never change. One of the big changes is my relationship to myself and this is truly my foundation for all relationships. I am so much more loving with myself now, and I have cleared many personal hurts and traumas out of my body with the Universal Medicine therapies, so these things are now not impacting on my relationships. I feel responsible for supplying my own love now (by being love, a work in progress!) which means I’m free to enjoy me and others without so many expectations getting in the way. Taking great care of myself now also means I’m able to be me without so much moodiness from having a depleted body.

  20. It is beautiful to feel the powerful marker that develops, of what love feels like, when we begin to support ourselves with love through everything we do in our lives, as we come to understand that one aspect of our lives impacts every aspect. Along with the empowerment that is felt from being guided by knowing of what feels true from within we begin to really live who we are.

  21. Those reflections in our lives are very important – they give us an idea that perhaps what we consider is normal is not normal, and just as we spoke up as a child, so can we do again as an adult.

  22. Great to have the confirmation you had, ‘it’s really beautiful for me to see this and confirm how much I have changed, which again is something I would not have felt able to truly do for myself in the past. And it feels fab, really great to see and feel this within myself compared to how I was’.

  23. What a great opportunity to go back and re-imprint living with your parents, very beautiful, and also how you are now bringing responsibility to your life ‘I am starting to take responsibility for my life and all the choices that I make’.

  24. Going back to live with your parents has provided a great opportunity to take stock and appreciate how far you’ve come – you are committed to life and willing to express and connect and not blame others for your (imagined) misfortune. Life is simple when we get to this point and it keeps forever deepening and gets more amazing.

  25. yes and the beautifull thing is the learning and unfolding never stops it just keeps on going

  26. Life is amazing in what it offers back in reflection through others and nature around us. I find it revelatory in understanding what is going on for me. When there is no one around so to speak I know I live under a cycle and constellations that are with me to initiate my being and beingness. What is next then is what I know will work simply and directly.

  27. Looking at how the world is today, and how it has kept repeating the same mistakes over and over throughout the history, sometimes it feels impossible how we as a race of beings can ever truly change. But your sharing makes me realise how much I too have been able to learn and see my age-old patterns and started introducing little changes to the way I am – it may look insignificant from outside, but like you, learning about self-responsibility has given me a totally different taste in experiencing life itself – so if I was able to dislodge my stubbornness even a millimeter, so can everyone else. Just like I am taking my time, so will they – and start accepting and living the amazingness of who we truly are.

  28. When we understand that how we live today affects tomorrow, it becomes easier to take responsibility for all our choices….there is no-one to blame especially not our parents.

  29. How many of us stopped questioning as children because the answers coming back at us made very little, and sometimes no sense; and with the innate knowing we had, we could also feel the lies that we were often fed. Eventually we stop questioning, instead accepting the perceived wisdom of others and so began to live a life that was so much less than it could have been. Today we have Serge Benhayon with us, a man who encourages us to question, to always discern and who is supporting to so many to “change the reference point in our lives” to one that is always loving and truthful.

    1. I love the point you make Ingrid, Serge Benhayon always encourages us to question, to question everything. I know that I have grown in myself so much since then. How silly is it that we need to be reminded that it is OK to question, to disagree, to get to know ourselves and not settle for something that doesn’t feel right. Freedom!

  30. A gorgeous blog Vicky and a great reminder of the importance of taking stock and appreciating all the different choices you have made and the amazing impact this has had on your life. The more we acknowledge and confirm these changes we can then embody this appreciation and deepen the relationship with ourselves and others even more.

  31. I haven’t been a great one for appreciating myself, so for me it has been amazing to feel reference points where I cannot deny to myself how far I have come and how much I have changed. These markers have supported me to bring appreciation of myself more into my daily life which then in itself deepens the marker I then know to be my new ‘normal’.

  32. Reading this again especially with what is going on in the world and what has recently gone on with the UK and America this still stands true, the fact that why do we put the countries fate in one person’s hand, it just does not make any sense at all. We are all in this together. ‘An example would be listening to the news and politicians talking, and thinking that sounds like a load of crap, saying this to my parents, and wondering why people who to me only felt like they were in it for themselves, seemed to be deciding our fate. Why was it just up to these few people, when clearly all the decisions and actions they were taking and making didn’t seem to be for all, or improving anything? It is not about becoming an activist either but about making the changes that we want to see through how we live and our relationships with everyone and being consistent with this, something Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine continually reflect to me.

  33. Blaming others for the situation I am in and feeling a victim has been a big one for me. It is only very recent that I have been able to see that there may be a way out of a situation by simply choosing to not create drama’s as excuses to not commit to life. Also letting go of the image of the need to involve others thinking I cannot do without them, another trap I may have put myself into to delay committing to life. It is certainly worth exploring and observing every time we blame another for the situation we find ourselves in.

    1. So true Caroline, it is a change of perspective and brings more responsibility, more accountability but also more influence over our outcomes. If we are emotional and bring drama into our lives then we are at the mercy of wherever the emotional stormy seas take us. We can never feel truly prepared for life and therefore live with a level of anxiety that is crippling.

  34. I agree Vicky that everything that Serge teaches is something I would have love to have known growing up. It is quite amazing to see one man inspire thousands of people in the way Serge Benhayon has. Truly inspirational.

  35. Acknowledging and appreciating the changes one has made is so confirming and supports one to make yet further loving choices and so the unfoldment never ceases.

  36. Serge Benhayon is indeed a role model like there is none in this world. But than again, the way he is living is based on simplicity and responsibility, which can duplicated – as he says and shows – and a true source of inspiration for many people to live the same, being a role model themselves for other people. And so it goes on.

  37. Onelife makes so much sense. We all know, if you poison yourself with alcohol one day, you’ll be feeling the effects for a few days after. So why have we not put two and two together and realised that everything counts? How we put ourselves to bed, what food we eat, how we have expressed, how we have loved ourselves and others all has an effect on our next days and lives. Putting the dots together, it feels gorgeous and very responsible to claim back Onelife and know that each moment affects the next.

  38. I had a moment of appreciation for Serge Benhayon the other day and the true love that he is whilst speaking with a colleague. When talking about Christmas I was shared with her a part of my life where I did not speak with my family for 2 years, in fact they did not even know where I was .. I cut all ties with them completely. It was during a healing session I had with Serge that this came to a head to be healed without me even consciously wanting it to be …. I was very stubborn. I was talking about something else and Serge shared with me that living without my family was like living half a life and even though at the time (due to stubbornness and wanting to be ‘independent’) on some level I did not want to hear this I knew in my body what he said was true, also my tears told me this. It was after this healing session with Serge that I took steps to get back in touch with my family and now I have the best relationship with them than I ever have had before and appreciate and love them dearly for who they are. I also appreciate that since writing this blog I now have another reference point to how much I have evolved from where I am now to where I was when I wrote this … so much has unfolded, grown and evolved within my life it is truly amazing. Life is forever flowing, healing and evolving when we allow it to be.

    1. Vicky you are such a gorgeous human being, everything you share comes with 100% you, it’s real, honest and melts my heart. You share yourself so fully which is healing for everyone and feels beautiful. Your words here about your family and the healing with Serge are also amazing, this comment in itself would make a great blog to share more widely. I’m sure many people could relate to cutting others (not just family) out of their lives. Your story also exposes the lies in the media that Serge breaks up families. I also noticed in your blog how much the support of Universal Medicine has changed your overall relationship with your family, it’s an enormous healing you have been through and everything you have shared is very relatable. There is something very awesome here to share further about healing family relationships if you feel to!

  39. It is gorgeous to return to a place where you can truly take stock of and feel how far you have come through the choices you have made. The power of listening to yourself and what feels true cannot be underestimated.

  40. Gosh this is beautiful to read again Vicky. I can also say my relationships now are much more loving and harmonious because of the same things Serge Benhayon has taught me through his Universal Medicine workshops and presentations. You talked about the comfort of getting out of responsibility and how this doesn’t work for you anymore. I used to also think that getting out of things was a highly prized goal at times, yet what I have learned is that responsibility is something that truly supports me, and indeed it feels lovely because I am ” listening to what I know feels true.”

  41. ‘As the years went by I stopped questioning and started accepting’ – this is a pivotal point Vicky, and something I can totally relate to. There is a point where we start accepting what is normal, rather than continuing to question it and that is the reason that the world is allowed to be in the state its got itself into.

  42. Our markers in life always change sometimes for better, sometimes for worse but when we truly stop and are willing to be honest with ourselves in reflecting on them this is when the healing begins. This is when we may start to understand EVERYTHING is a choice that WE make. If we allow it, it is also when we give ourselves permission to feel all the love that we are and where we are truly from. Since I wrote this my life has unfolded in an incredibly beautifull way from my job to my new home, my relationship with myself and my relationship with others and I am expressing more than ever before, no longer a silent or surpressed voice. What I love about Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine is that they are a constant reminder that life is not about ourselves and what we want, it is about every single person, community, society, humanity, and committment to that. It is about the all.

  43. A basic ‘Life’ subject at school would be awesome – not just about healthy eating and exercise, but energy and the quality of energy we live our lives in. Even the simple knowledge, like you said Vicky, about our current day affecting the next is a huge subject in itself and once spoken of many can relate and understand because they have probably experienced the reality of this fact. School would be so much more real and enjoyable with some some practical life skills involved and the acknowledgement that everything is energetic and we can feel it all the time.

    1. Rachel you have just reminded me of something else that was a huge revelation to me which was how our periods reflect the month and how we have been living!!!! I never learnt this as well and thought my periods were completely out of my control. There is so much that we need to learn and be taught just as the pure basics of living and life that we are not currently taught.

  44. It’s wonderful to have these solid markers of our journey within, how much we have changed and the true and loving person we are becoming. By taking the space to feel this we allow appreciation to wash over our foundation to strengthen it so we can continue developing the love in our body and for all.

  45. Thank you Vicky for sharing your appreciation of the changes that have come into your life and the beautiful reflection your parents are receiving from you.

  46. “I have an understanding that how I live every day affects the next day.” Vicky that made so much sense to me and I am wondering why this is not what we all know and do – imagine the world – most of us would be naturally responsible for our lives! I am sure the world would be less complicated and hard.

  47. I don’t think we confirm enough just how much we’ve changed and just how far we’ve come when we step forward with responsibility – thanks for the super sweet reminder. I’m going to take some time to really appreciate and confirm myself today 🙂

  48. For me also Serge presented a simple way of living that I have experimented with and found to be life-changing. We all need positive role models and for me he has been like a steady heart beat, repeating the same simple messages in many different ways, and maintaining a steady consistent presence as a lived example that how he lives actually works. I too appreciate Serge and the changes that I have made that contribute the wonderful sense of well-being that I now experience.

  49. It’s huge to come to the understanding that as adults we have nothing to blame our parents for. Every experience is about learning about ourselves, about others and taking responsibility for all of our choices.

  50. Vicky this is a beautiful sharing of your journey and growth to the point you are now taking responsibility for yourself and your decisions. Appreciating what you have in your family is a great point too.

    1. Yes, it is lovely to read of the changes in how you are Vicky, and the responsibility and appreciation that is now in your life, ‘what Serge Benhayon has been presenting over the years is amazing and so needed. It is consistent, simple, true (I can definitely feel that), and it makes sense.’

  51. ‘I have an understanding that how I live every day affects the next day. This makes such sense, and I wish I knew this or was taught this at school.’ So true Vicky .

  52. Vicky it was lovely to read how the relationship with yourself has changed from feeling powerless to supporting yourself and taking responsibility. I can relate to feeling that I am now in my own corner, supporting me, and because I am looking after me better, I am in a place where I can offer more support to others.

  53. I love those points of reflection when we ‘repeat’ something we have done before and get to see how much we have changed. It is in these moments that I really bubble up with appreciation for all the work I have done with Universal Medicine and for all the people that have inspired and supported me along the way.

  54. Vicky I love how moving in with your parents has been a completely different experience, when we take responsibility we are able to see and feel so much more not only about ourselves but also how our actions affect others too.

  55. Thanks for your blog Vicky, I remember in my 20’s having a real interest in politics and the choices we could make on our future, but how this passion for discussing societal issues would get eroded away by that feeling that the corruption, lies, deceit and overall dishonesty that prevails in politics made it pointless, futile even to try and affect it with my voice. I am now understanding that we can and do affect it, and that it is never right to give up on our voice, even in these challenging times as it is needed that those who are willing to see beyond their own self interest are speaking louder and clearer than ever, to expose the systems and leaders who do not have such integrity in the way they are working.

  56. The reference point of my life has also changed since meeting Serge Benhayon and joining the student body of Universal Medicine – feeling truth and connection back to what I know to be true is undeniable and can be supported by me in the activities of how I choose to live – no matter where that may be. It is easy to blame others, for me it is far more liberating to take responsibility and live with that connection. Back to where we all came from as children and knew what mattered. Truth and Love 🙂

  57. Absolutely beautiful Vicky, thank you for your honesty and openness in sharing how your life has changed. The pivotal influence and inspiration of Serge Benhayon and the way he lives, what he presents and the extraordinary Universal Medicine Therapies that support this process enormously are worth every word of the accolades you offer. The fact it has awakened your own awareness, understanding and connection to truth and love, is testimony to it’s genuineness.

  58. Vicky I love watching you expand, you like many other students of The Way of The Livingness have embraced what has been offered and in doing so become a light for others. Super inspiring Thank you.

  59. When change presents itself in our lives like your moving out of your rented flat back to live with your parents, it is often our attitude that determines if we see it as a learning opportunity or not, and when we do often we learn so much about ourselves and how much we have changed, which can then be deeply appreciated.

  60. I have an understanding that how I live every day affects the next day’, indeed Vicky, every single choice we make affects our next choice, every move we make affects the next move, and how we live today affects tomorrow, thus it can be said, that we create our future… we create where we are moving to next.

  61. I can so relate to staying with parents and not even speaking to them. I spent a period of time when I blamed all my life struggle and personality defects on them, and my attitude and behaviour was just horrendous, so I can really appreciate the magnitude when you say “I know how I can support myself whilst I am staying with them – even if I don’t know where I am going to be living next, or what I am going to be doing” and that you appreciate your parents. This really is huge. Before Universal Medicine, all the self-development things that I tried pointed out where my issues might have originated from, but I never really learnt to come back to myself and take responsibility from that place.

  62. I was also someone that knew right from wrong and had a path ahead that I knew to be true, but something in me changed where I started to go with the flow, which often didn’t support me and I lost me in it all. Now I’m on the path again but it’s the unquestioning knowing I am rebuilding.

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