Have you ever stopped – looking in a mirror to enjoy a true reflection – or is it just a glance to make sure your make-up or hair is ok?
I remember one day being asked just that; “do you look at yourself in the mirror, or is it just a glance?” Of course, I thought, I always look in the mirror – or did I?
Sure I would look in the mirror but never was I really looking at me – I was looking at a mere shadow of myself which was then presented to the world.
It was time to start looking past the facade that I had created to protect and hide myself from the world; to allow myself to see the true me. It was an awkward and at times uncomfortable process – making myself stop and look at what was being reflected back to me.
Funny really, as I worked as a hairdresser so I was in front of mirrors all day every day, and yet it was easy to avoid looking at myself, making it all about the client.
There was no admiration or adoration of myself. I would look in a mirror and not liking what I saw, I would instead choose to make every glance about something else. For example, when trying on clothes I never looked at myself but looked at and admired the clothes I was trying on – never once stopping to admire the person that was wearing the clothes. The body and person under the clothes were just that… there was no appreciation or connection to me, just an observation of the reflection of what I saw in the mirror.
So the process unfolded on many levels, keeping it simple to start with and taking time to actually look at myself when I was in front of the mirror. Not unlike what can be observed when a child looks at themselves in the mirror… you can see the way they admire and adore themselves with each and every glance.
Before long I was beginning to see the true essence of me coming through – the facade was beginning to drop away and I was no longer afraid of how I presented to the world.
I began to dress for me, not the world or the mirror; my make-up was applied to my face in a way that supported the natural glow that was now emanating.
As this unfolded I started to enjoy walking past a mirror and slowly began to appreciate the woman I was becoming – or what I should say is that I was now allowing the woman I had always been, out.
I did not stop to consider the amazing beauty I had concealed from myself and the world – I only knew that the hurt I had been protecting myself from was actually coming from me. I was hurt because I had been hiding this awesome reflection and every time I looked in the mirror the sadness was felt. I did not like what I saw – what I was looking at was not me and it hurt. The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.
I have been nurturing, embracing and loving the person I am – without any expectations or comparisons to another.
Over time, with this nurturing I have blossomed and continue to blossom every day with more and more acceptance for myself.
It was this simple question from Serge Benhayon about the way I looked at myself in a mirror – or not – many, many years before, that began my process of self-acceptance; a process that has been nothing short of a true transformation. No plastic surgery, wonder pills or diets, just a commitment to allowing myself to connect to, live and express me.
I now live each day appreciating the woman I am, continuing my expansion of self for all the world to see.
With the hurts falling away and the real me shining through, why would I not want to stop, and looking in a mirror, see a true reflection of glorious me.
Inspired by the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
By Nicole Serafin, Age 42,Tintenbar, Australia
I do look at the mirror but its always a flitting glance and seeing a body standing there and not realising that it’s actually me. It’s no different to being introduced to a person and within a second you’ve forgotten their name! This connection makes a massive difference whether meeting or looking in the mirror. Who are you meeting? If it isn’t you or the other person, then what are you meeting?
When we gaze at that person in the mirror then that to me is saying you are ok with you, ok with the body, clothes or no clothes, curves or no curves and etc and then, you see the real you coming through. Look more often in the mirror and see you…
Looking ourselves with the eyes of love. Returning to the transparency of our gaze. No wanting to be different, no trying, no imposing or judging, just being there with us, in union with the stars, Nature and the whole Universe. How could we possibly feel not complete in this way?
We come to the world being so open, transparent, playful, full of joy…so every time I don’t feel like this I wonder why? what’s going on? and what do I absorbed from outside?
It’s an ongoing process of connecting back to my body, honouring how it feels like, trusting again to live in my fullness and joy. My natural state. Being who we are is deeply touching and inspiring. Appreciating this fact makes me see how key our reflection may be, for everyone who we are in touch with and for ourselves.
In disconnection I can look at the mirror and just see the outside layers – the clothes, the colours etc and its easy to be critical. But in connection I see so much more and I am not critical, but deeply celebrating and appreciating who I am and how I have come together for the day. Of course the latter is far more needed in my life so this is indeed a great reminder of what I need to keep allowing – celebration of myself and allowing myself to feel good about it!
Henrietta so true. When we are in connection, we see way past the clothes, the make up, it is seen skin deep. And it is only a matter of time when we see ourselves past what reflection is being offered to us, then the mirror is seen for its true purpose.
Nicole, thanks for your sharing – I too can relate to the mirror experience as one where either I am disconnected and hence don’t really look and see myself in the reflection OR if am connected to myself then I see the sparkle in the eyes and I see the joy and cheekiness of the being in the body, and the enjoyment of the body. The connection makes all the difference to how I do and will percieve myself.
It’s not my physicality that I like or dislike when I look in the mirror, it’s the fact that the body is showing me the energy I’ve been living in. It’s the energy I have an issue with or love.
Allowing ourselves to be seen, and to express love in the world, ‘As this unfolded I started to enjoy walking past a mirror and slowly began to appreciate the woman I was becoming – or what I should say is that I was now allowing the woman I had always been, out.’
Love it ❤️ Coming from the quality within when we look into a mirror rather than ‘looking out’ at the ‘appearance’ and if this is ‘okay’ as some say the checking-out, checking-out does my bum look big in this (or with the new phase is my bum not big enough 😶) is my tummy to big, does this look okay on me etc etc. I can appreciate that I am starting to do this a lot more – come from the quality within and how I FEEL within rather than what I see. And if we do not feel lovely within then of course that is going to affect how we ‘see’ and feel about ourselves generally. A gorgeous and super simple tool to truly connect within is the Gentle Breath Meditation https://www.unimedliving.com/meditation/free
Mirror ,mirror on the wall takes on a whole deeper meaning as you have shared Nicole, and it is not just from the reflection as what I get from reading this blog is transformational as we can all learn to deepen our relationship with our essences! And in apply a simple principle of appreciating who and being more than a physical vessel so we can move our bodies in a way that supports our evolution, including how we see our-selves and others.
“to allow myself to see the true me.” True beauty is always there but we can be unaware of it when we hide behind layers of self-doubt and looking for ‘what’s wrong’.
Instead of looking at ourselves as a child looks at themselves, ‘what can be observed when a child looks at themselves in the mirror… you can see the way they admire and adore themselves with each and every glance.’
“The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.” How true and how empowering, it shows the power we have to live who we are, and that the deepest cut comes from ourselves.
There’s something about connecting and appreciating beyond what the eyes can see. It defies our preconception and judgement and it lets us know that there’s no excuse for denying our glory, which is totally inconvenient if we wanted to stay avoiding power/responsibility.
That is a great point we hurt ourselves far more than any hurt the world or others may ‘inflict’ on us, so addressing those hurts and allowing ourselves to just be us makes sense on so many levels, for that’s the one thing we’re all here to do, to live us and express the innate love we all are.
Yes, why would we inflict a hurt on ourselves, ‘The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.’
‘The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.’ Yes, this is the same for me and I guess for everyone too because the choice to not live who we truly are is a choice we knowingly make. It hurts because we are fighting our own light and avoiding truth. But if others hurt us, when we truly understand it, it is never personal. For example, someone who hurt others is simply deeply hurt themselves. Living free of hurts means it is impossible to inflict our hurts onto others because it is no longer present and love is what will be reflected instead. So, it is imperative to clear and heal our hurts to allow us to reflect love.
Great unfolding here Chan – we do hurt ourselves more than anyone else can and this realisation actually exposes how ridiculous the game is that we can play. For why would you want to hurt yourself and why would you want to hurt another? This would only happen from disconnection to our true essence. Hence any hurts as you have shared are ones that we can use as tools to reflect on how we have stepped away from what we know is the truth – thus our hurts can be an opportunity for us to heal and grow.
It’s amazing how transformational and inspiring our words can be when they are used to grow and deepen the love we can feel for ourselves and others. This article shows how profound a simple question can be if we really want to explore the answer for ourselves.
The more I connect with my essence the more I feel this when I look into a mirror.
Beautiful Vicky. It’s the connection with our essence what we makes us shine in a very precious way.
“No plastic surgery, wonder pills or diets, just a commitment to allowing myself to connect to, live and express me.” Yes it is easy to think that we need to change ourselves to be able to like ourselves but it’s not that we have to change ourselves because we are not right, we have to change how we are with ourselves, how we see ourselves as we are already everything but we are not choosing to see it.
There is so much to discover and enjoy about ourselves when we deeply connect, looking in the mirror then becomes a confirmation of the beauty and love we feel within.
Appreciation, nurturing, and loving ourselves is deeply transformational, and allows us to connect, live, and express the true self.
We cannot see the reflection, unless we feel the emanation. The reflection is just a confirmation of what we feel we emanate.
Its true children do adore themselves. When I was three I had three favourite dresses and wore them all during the day. How is it that we can go from that carefree innocence to hating everything we put on and avoiding looking in the mirror?
I love how you talk about seeing the woman you were becoming – how often do we look expecting to see an end result or hoping for something more or different – instead of enjoying how everyday we can ressurect ourselves a little bit more, and that it’s actually an amazing process – no matter how challenging it can be at times.
Letting go of expectations about ourselves and allowing what is there to blossom…is truly one of the best gifts we could offer not just ourselves but all those around us. And yet this can appear to be a hard thing to do at times…
How I feel about myself when I look at myself in a mirror is a great reflection of how I have been living.
When we look in the mirror, do we look with appreciation and acceptance of our inner beauty and allowing this to shine through or do we look with critique and judgement? For me, I am now more comfortable with looking at myself in the mirror with appreciation and acceptance, it feels gorgeous to allow myself to really see my own reflection and let go of any self-judgement.
Lately whilst looking in the mirror, I have been enjoying not only how beautiful the reflection is that I can see, but more so how gorgeous the depth of quality that is there, a quality that I know I have been connecting to and saying ‘yes’ to, and how this Soulfullness emanates an exquisite beauty that reflects the magic of who we all are in essence.
Recently I got myself a little dresser, and what a difference it makes when I sit down in front of a mirror instead of standing! My whole body welcomes the experience. My body is more surrendered to receive and appreciate and adore what is being reflected in the mirror. It is now my favourite part of the day.
Very gorgeous Fumiyo, the space you create to support your body to surrender and care for yourself is beautiful. You can feel the difference when we apply self-love with much detail to your day.
For so many people they avoid mirrors or looking at photos of themselves, why is that? It seems many can be judging themselves and not accepting or appreciating who they are. I know for me when I look in the mirror I can at times have negative thoughts but if I don’t give them any energy I can see my true beauty shining through and embrace what my reflection is offering me in this moment.
For years I would avoid looking in the mirror and knew that I would be critical of myself but when I started to appreciate myself, the critical thoughts dropped away. It’s as if I no longer focus on the parts of the body that are not perfect but appreciate and celebrate the whole with its imperfections.
Very gorgeous Julie. I was wondering, if every woman in the world can look at themselves in the mirror with absolute love and appreciation, I am sure our relationships would look very different too.
I began to dress for me…. everything changes when we do things to express ourselves and not to impress others, or to ‘fit in’. For instance, life becomes super simple where we find ourselves in this effortless flow,
I know, and it is beautiful to allow our natural beauty and flow to guide our day with appreciation being the key to moving us from A to B. I am feeling more gorgeous than ever before and now, I dress in a way that is not shying away from expressing how I feel.
Are we brushing over things or are we prepared to get down to the nitty gritty? Get more honest and dig out those behaviour patterns that are not supportive to our true health and well being?
‘There was no admiration or adoration of myself. I would look in a mirror and not liking what I saw’, this was the same for myself, I felt disgust at my reflection, ie my body. Every time I walked away from the mirror, this feeling stayed with me. Reflections from the mirror are powerful and show us a lot, to be more exact they show us truth in how we have been living which can be uncomfortable to see. When we are ready to accept truth rather than resist, this is when we make different choices and our life slowly changes.
Looking in a mirror has always been a functional and practical thing for me to do – to check in that my appearance is ok. I have never clicked that it is also an opportunity to just stop and look at our reflection, to have a moment with ourselves and ponder on what is going on for us and the world around us. There is so much more in our reflections than meets the eye.
‘….to have a moment with ourselves and ponder on what is going on for us and the world around us.’ Beautifully put, Suse.
“why would I not want to stop, and looking in a mirror, see a true reflection of glorious me.” I remember as a child if you were caught looking at yourself in the mirror apart from doing your hair or checking your clothes, you got into trouble, they were afraid you would become vain, so much capping, naturally a child loves to look at themselves in the mirror, I am starting to take the time and appreciate the woman I see looking back at me in the mirror and it is such a joy.
True beauty within our eyes reveal the truth of where we come from and what the truth is for us to live.
The reflection in the mirror doesn’t lie. When we look into the mirror with love this is the reflection that we see.
There are many instances in a day where we can get and we can offer a true reflection. This happening is a marker of how much of ourselves we allow to be shared/shown.
This is a great reminder to celebrate ourselves when looking in the mirror, in fact going to the mirror for celebrating and appreciation as a first choice, rather than an add-on when we happen to be standing in front of the mirror. I’m going to try this out – going to the mirror for the purpose of appreciating me as I am.
Not only the mirror is a reflection, but life is a reflection as is all our relationships. For example I always had issues with family, with all of them if truth be told. However, I have changed and grown so much in the last few years (let go of my hurts), that now I am so much more open, honest and transparent, and so all my relationships have improved, especially the relationships with all my family. The closeness with my family now is a powerful reflection and confirmation of all the love I am now choosing for myself having healed my lack of self-worth and lack of commitment to life issues. I now love committing to life, and I love sharing all of me.
I love this word; blossom… when do we truly blossom and open up like a flower, is through acceptance, accepting all that we have chosen, accepting where we find ourselves in life, accepting that everything happens for a reason and we can read it for the lesson and the growth, and accepting that we are far grander than the eye can see and in that grandness we have everything we need within for this life journey.
‘just a commitment to allowing myself to connect to, live and express me’, it is this commitment that transforms our lives in a way that we are able to live true to ourselves.
I have always dressed for myself and not for anyone else. I have always had a good sense of what suited me and what didn’t. The difference is that these days I am not afraid to be seen, and enjoy being out there in the world connecting with people.
Oh yes reflections are powerful especially self reflections from the timeless and ‘spiteful’ mirror that does nothing but present truth – and that truth can be painful and is why we avoid truly looking at ourselves. As soon as we drop the protection, ( the masks and the hardness), humbleness and grace can enter and the once spiteful mirror becomes a place where truth dwells – and a confirmation of so much beauty, light and grandness – a reminder of who we truly are.
In society we have severely diminished how we consider ourselves, to our physicality alone, and often this is only what we see when we look in the mirror. And in this separation, we don’t stop here, but take it further to separating ourselves and defining our worth by measuring up our body parts to pictures offered by society. It is a great question to ask of ourselves as to what we see when we look in the mirror, as you we see the reflection of the Son of God the we innately are, the body and being that is here to reflect the light of our Divinity, through which our eyes can never hide the truth of who we all really are in essence.
Wow Carola, beautifully expressed. I realise when I claim the fact that I am here to reflect God’s love and light, then the way I express is no longer just about me but it is for humanity and beyond. It is deeply loving and oh so simple when I let go of any identification and allow the light of God to guide me in my expression.
I’m feeling to put myself on a program to look in the mirror at myself, truly see myself, every day. My relationship with myself has changed enormously, but there is always a deepening to allow, greater intimacy to surrender into, sacredness to claim and power to express.
With nurturing and acceptance we do blossom, ‘I have been nurturing, embracing and loving the person I am – without any expectations or comparisons to another.’
I have found the more aware I am of the hurt, and knowing this hurt is just a picture of a way I thought it should be, and under that is the real me shining through, why would I not want to stop, look in a mirror, and see a true reflection of the glorious me.
Looking to see if we’re measuring up to our own or others’ expectations versus looking to confirm the beauty of who we are… I know which I’d prefer.
Yes – so well said Victoria. I have tried the first way you mention, for many years, and it left me feeling belittled, worthless, exhausted, and with no true sense of who I am. Since embracing the latter, I can honestly say my life has never felt so enriched, plus what is continually inspiring is that I feel I have only just touched the surface…
Me too Victoria and every time we confirm our beauty and embrace appreciation we are then reflecting joy to others. Something our world is currently lacking and need this reflection more than ever.
Appreciation is so important, appreciating who we are inside, our true self, whilst choosing to connect to and express our true self, ‘ just a commitment to allowing myself to connect to, live and express me.’
I actively avoided my reflections in mirrors and shop windows. I used to get annoyed if I saw people looking at themselves other than for a functional purpose, believing them to be vain and self absorbed. I only looked to check my clothing and to brush my teeth. Now I can look into my eyes whilst looking in the mirror and smile at the woman I’m beginning to see.
True Beauty comes to life. There are many women and everyone who would appreciate reading this blog. It is a very common experience when it comes to mirrors. People often automatically make a comment about themselves in a not so favorable way when in this position.
Beautiful Nicole so very worth appreciating who we are from with-in and all the tiny steps and moments that support us to re-claim our gorgeousness from the inside out.
Truly beautiful to actually appreciate ourselves when we look in the mirror, and a great opportunity to care and nurture ourselves knowing that we are each worth it, connecting more deeply to the woman we are, and reflecting all our glory, for the world to see and feel.
Nicole it is beautiful to read of your deep appreciation and acceptance of yourself and how powerful your reflection is to others reminding them equally of their own amazingness too.
‘I was now allowing the woman I had always been, out’… Oh i know what you mean Nicole. Recently, I have been feeling the impulse to express more of the woman I am. I have not had much time to do this lately as I have been working a lot and it was shift work. That said, I am starting a new job on Monday, and I can already feel the space open up for me, space in which I can have more time to express my sweetness and tenderness and much more and I can feel I will have more time to play…. to play with others!
How gorgeous Nicole, when we connect we truely see the beauty, tenderness and divinity that is there. I love how you now appreciate, accept and honour your blossoming self.
Who needs plastic surgery when we can use a consistent dose of appreciation and loving choices to shine and let our true beauty be our natural way of being?
There is big gap between when I look in the mirror to make sure what others see is presentable and when I look straight into my eyes. The first one is often riddled with judgements & even best feels like an empty praise. But in my eyes I see the huge joy and playfulness that is my essence, and even in those moments when I have not been so connected, the sadness in my eyes still show the gorgeousness and tenderness within me. Just the choice of being present with myself in front of the mirror or not itself makes a huge difference
It’s funny to look at something we do and have done thousands of times but when we consider it we have actually never truly done it. Looking in the mirror is a great one as most of us would do this at least once a day and yet have we truly looked? Or have we just been a critique factory of what we have caught a glimpse of and from there not seen past the critique? I know this morning when I go to the mirror at some stage I will watch more deeply what I see and what the thoughts are around the reflection. Something so simple and so consistently everyday will and can be a great support for us.
Today I look in the mirror and am blown away by the beauty I see shining back at me. This is incredible for in the past I could not look at myself without harsh thoughts and judgements – often feeling ugly and unlovable. It’s extraordinary how far we can go to deny ourselves the truth of what and who we are and yet how simple it is to turn this around.
Lucy I so relate to what you share here. When I look in the mirror these days I actually stop and take a few moments to observe the light shining in my eyes which is a lovely confirmation of my true beauty shining through – no more holding back!
It is hard to admit to ourselves that our deepest hurt is something that is self-inflicted – but it makes sense. In my experience everything arises from our relationship with ourselves and so the good news is that we can choose again and heal that relationship – hence ‘healing’ that reflection at the same time.
Our reflection is so much more than how we look. It’s how we live that essentially makes our reflection what it is, energetically so.
We tend to exclude ourselves from the reflections we get daily. So, when we look at the mirror, that possibility is usually off the chart. Yet, why? Because of the lack of inner space in us that identifies us with the character that appears at the first glance.
I can relate a lot to your experience Nicole. I have most the time looked at something on my face, zooming into a flaw that I perceived I had but never really looking at me or what I was reflecting out. That was until I got a dressing table and sit and look at me while putting my makeup on. There are days that I don’t like seeing the tiredness and disregard I have been living in my face and there others that I see the beauty, grace and warmth that is there. Recently I notice how different I looked in the mirror at home compared to how I looked in the mirror at work. Showing the different faces I put on.
This should be taught in every school, in fact this needs to be available to every adult in the world, as so much can be gained when we start to love ourselves.
Thank you Nicole for sharing this. A reminder for us all to take the time to deeply appreciate, that who we are within is deeply beautiful, tender, sacred and wise. I am discovering (and appreciating!) the more we do, the more we truly nurture, cherish and care for ourselves, as such we feel freer to live who we truly are with a greater fullness, to which there is no end to the degree that this love can be lived.
We are so accustomed that we are the face others (and us) see, that we do not look deeper. On top of that, we can filter out everything we do not want to see. So, keeping any reflection shorter than the truth we could access to is not that hard. Yet, it is not the truth and nothing but the truth.
It’s beautiful to read how you changed the way that you look at yourself and how that spilled over into how you dress and apply make-up. Blossoming is a great way to describe it and it really feels like that – something that you nurtured and expanded into from inside of you.
Your article is as gorgeous to read as it is profound in what it has exposed, for as you have shown… if the entire world committed to nurturing, loving and accepting themselves like you have, there would be no need for such a focus on external beauty, and plastic surgery, wonder pills and diets would be a thing of the past and a reminder of a time where we had forgotten that true beauty come only from within.
SO true Nicole, when we connect, we can see the real beauty that is there – and the judgements fall apart, the beliefs fall away.. simply if we truly allow, we can just be with all the beauty that we are.
By both enjoying and appreciating the reflection of ourselves being mirrored back to us it becomes far easier to actually enjoy and appreciate ourselves full stop.
When we look at ourselves in a mirror we make choices regarding what we do, do we focus on a specific point or aspect?Do we cover one whole area of the body? Do we look at the whole in a glance to check something up? Do we truly look ourselves in the knowing that there is much more that cannot be captured by the human eye? What and who do we look at?
Thank you for your honest blog Nicole – this sentence got me: “The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.” Is it not that most of us can relate to what you have shared so truthfully? You also deliver a way out of this hurt and these are the wonders of true understanding, appreciating, accepting and then loving oneself . . .
Women who know their true beauty is so very powerful. They look absolutely stunningly naturally beautiful – and it is never about their facial features or the body shapes. This is much easier to see it on others as I have had my fair share of self-acceptance issues, struggling but desperately wanting to be able to love myself for who I was, yet fearing being caught out as being narcissistic if I dare go there. Totally insane.
“Sure I would look in the mirror but never was I really looking at me”. This was me – and often still is. But when I do stop and really look the difference I feel nowadays is huge, in comparison with when I continually judged myself for not looking ‘right’ – whatever that old belief system was. Nowadays my eyes reveal a beauty and wisdom.
A lot of people avoid mirrors, I reckon it’s not because they in truth don’t like themselves – but because in the reflection they see every ounce of disregard and abuse they’ve given themselves, and how they have not cherished and nurtured that absolutely beautiful person that they are.
I agree Meg, something I have done and do now when I’ve not been looking after and adoring myself. The beliefs and ideals we walk in and running ourselves by pictures are etched in our face so clear to see.
It’s fascinating how we look different day to day, or even at different points in the day – there’s so much more to our reflection than we are often prepared to be honest about.
I used to be a great mirror avoider, developing a technique to ensure if I was near a mirror that I didn’t actually look at myself. And if I was trying on clothes in a shop I would close my eyes as I began to take my clothes off and wouldn’t open them until I had the shop clothes on. What a lot of time and effort I used to avoid seeing the woman in the mirror, a woman who if I looked deeply behind the pain and the issues I was carrying was actually rather beautiful.
Beautiful Nicole. It is interesting what we choose to see when we look at our reflection in the mirror. I always looked at the reflection of my physical self with self-criticism but now that I choose to look deep into my eyes I see reflected back my inner beauty and love of the all.
Thank you Mary, just what was needed today.
‘The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.’
I so know this pain Nicole, it is a tension in my body like no other, and yes it is greater than any other pain I have felt. But I am coming to adore this feeling, for when there is tension, I know deeply that tenderness and grace is needed as I explore what the pain is revealing and begin living the next installment of love that I have accepted into my body.
What we need to accept is that beauty is an innate feeling a quality and not something that is given to the lucky ones, or something we need to work for, we all have it, we just need to let it shine out.
Very well said Judith, and therefore, beauty cannot be measured or compared, something our society is very good at and we even have such a thing as a beauty competition. Now, how crazy is that? When we all openly embrace and celebrate our innate beauty, we will one day look back and laugh at the fact that these events ever existed.
To see our own beauty is a choice we need to make, which will then be reflected back to us.
The way we use our eyes and the images we allow ourselves to see is determined by what we want to perceive. If we look at ourselves convinced that we are ugly for whatever reason, we see that picture in the mirror because we are looking in a way that confirms that.
“…what I was looking at was not me and it hurt.”
This makes so much sense Nicole, what we dislike about ourselves is that we have become someone we are not and it does hurt to realize that. The good thing is if we are honest about this fact, we can start to make different choices that bring us back to who we truly are and we can register that in our essence we are absolutely adorable.
I love what you share here Nicole, when we look in the mirror are we taking time to truly appreciate and adore ourselves or using it to bash ourselves and point out and find flaws. I know the more I enjoy my reflection it feels expansive in my body and this supports me to shine throughout the day, and on the days I judge myself in the mirror how this can affect the quality of my day – time to choose the 1st option more consistently and deepen the relationship with myself.
Great sharing Nicole. My relationship with myself and the mirror is ever evolving. I realized when I am connected with myself I love looking at myself in the mirror. When I am not I don’t like what I see. This can be in the same day.
I never realised why I always avoided mirrors until it was pointed out that they were reflecting back to me my lack of appreciation of me and revealing my deep sadness for the lack of relationship with myself. It is only since I have started to appreciate myself and confirm this that how I am with mirrors has changed and I can now look myself in the eye and feel my connection to myself and how beautiful this is.
“The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me” – I agree, and it is a self-inflicted one. There’s no one to blame, but us to choose another way of being, always.
It’s so true that the hurts we believe we’re protecting ourselves from feeling are in fact of our own making. Our choice to hold onto them and to use them to avoid appreciating that we are not our hurts, to avoid appreciating the true beauty that we are, inside and out.
It is amazing, Nicole ,that we can look in a mirror and only see what we want to see and often it is on the surface. I am now looking at myself with a deeper appreciation of “me” and am much more loving to my body with this process.
It is only in recent years do I ‘really’ look at myself in the mirror and it gives me great joy. Previously I did not truly look at my image as I was in denial of how I was. Every so often the facade I held would drop and I catch myself unexpectedly in the mirror and be shocked for short period of time at how over-weight and unhealthy I looked. But I would put that aside, so to speak, and carry on as I was. It is with the deepest appreciation for Serge Benhayon for presenting a different, true way of being and my willingness to embrace the change that I now look with pleasure in the mirror at my reflection.
Without doubt in the past the reflection I have looked for in the mirror was one of a surface level only, a how do I look for the world around me… I have never really considered that I could use these moments on a deeper level to value myself and confirm my essence – this will certainly change now! Your words of wisdom have been a breath of fresh air Nicole. What a thoroughly enjoyable and beautiful blog this has been to read.
“No plastic surgery, wonder pills or diets just a commitment to allowing myself to connect to, live and express me” This is one that I will share with my mirror next time I look in.
A blog I can relate to Nicole! What I’m finding for myself now is that the more I’m willing to look in the mirror and see and feel the true essence of me, the more I am also able to see and feel this in others. And thus we have the power of magnification and reflection!
The deeper acceptance comes from ourselves and it could never be confirmed to us by the world, the only confirmation of it is in our own love. Working in the fashion and image industry, how we look and present ourselves is what most people judge us by, but none of how we look on the outside compares to knowing the solidity of who we are within ourselves first, and how that is expressed externally is a freedom that does not change with how we are expected to look.
Thank you Nicole a gorgeous sharing and one that took a moment for me to really feel ‘how do I look at myself in the mirror’. I’ve come from a place that was only looking at the outside appearance. Not so much now as self-love has come into my life and a gentle gaze looks right back at me. No more ‘does my bum look big in that’ but a look that says thank you God for this gift as I’m now truly appreciating each and every day and that result is looking right back at me.
Looking in the mirror is such a simple thing to do but how often do I do it and enjoy my reflection – well after reading this blog I can feel not enough. Your blog is a beautiful support for people such as me shying away from enjoying my amazing and glorious self, time to build this into my life more, thank you for the reminder.
Beautiful Nicole, incredible change, what would we do without Serge Benhayon? Well, I would be even more further away from myself – not knowing who I am. In this stage of my life I am becoming more aware of who I am and have been developing this for the last 4 years – a connection with myself that is absolutely inspired by all the work that Serge has presented over the years and at the same time with all the true reflections of the family Benhayon. Gorgeous bunch of deeply loving people. I am glad that I am back – and have refound myself – for who I am – once and for all – I will never choose to lose this again – never!
A friend who was staying with me, commented one day on how many mirrors I had in my home, I then realised how little attention I paid to mirrors or to me, in fact, I would glance in the bathroom mirror to do my hair or quickly my makeup but that was it. Slowly I am taking more time to be with me as I look in the mirror, I can now take the time to stop and smile, and even appreciate, the person who is looking back at me.
I notice there is a big difference between the perfunctory glance in the mirror to check what I am wearing, my hair, or the utilitarian requirement for a shaving mirror… to really looking at myself in the mirror. I don’t mean this in a narcissistic way (which is perhaps what I initially reacted to), but to see what is truly going on. There is information there in how my body is, there is appreciation for me no matter what, and there is a recognition that I am, with no avoidance. Its well worth taking the time now and then to truly appreciate ourselves.
Asking myself this question; “do you look at yourself in the mirror, or is it just a glance?”; my honest answer would have to be no I do not look at myself in the mirror, a cursory glance at best. On rereading your blog I am committing to look my deeply and tenderly at myself. Thank you Nicole for reflecting this to me.
Revisiting this blog i found a complete new aspect that struck me Nicole. You gave me a clue to why I sometimes dislike what I see when I am looking in the mirror and that is the fact that when I do not fully appreciate myself for who I truly am, I am living my hurts instead and to see that is actually very devastating as deep inside I know I am not that. When I connect to this I can truly feel the hurt of not living who I truly am, a Divine being that has reduced his life to a mere sparkle of that. Thank you Nicole for bringing this clarity to me.
‘I have been nurturing, embracing and loving the person I am – without any expectations or comparisons to another.’ It’s so important to clock when we put expectations on ourselves of how we want to be or how we want to look – often by way of comparison with another or with an airbrushed ideal – and negate what is naturally there within us. Because it is that innermost essence that is our true beauty, beyond skin deep, that emanates out to the world. That is what people see and that is what, if we hide it because of our hurts, what people don’t get to see. Instead we show them our fabricated version that we hope will keep us protected from those hurts.
Such a beautiful sharing Nicole, I just realised that when I look in the mirror I am often seeing the clothes but not often me in them. Thank you. I feel the joy of you, reflecting back to you, the truly beautiful you.
Nicole, how beautiful that you are now seeing the amazing and inspiring woman you are. A very healing and loving imprint to take out into the world.
I agree this is deeply healing for all women to read and begin to practice in their own lives, as self-worth issues are huge among women.
When I am being critical of myself and just want to ‘glance in the mirror’, I focus on my eyes. When I look myself in my eyes, I can’t help but feel all the beauty that I am inside and my lack of self-acceptance melts.
Yes Carmin, this is exactly my experience, I cannot walk away from what I see in my eyes, it instantly connects me to who I am and the grandness that comes with that. it is always this reminder that gives me the opportunity to step out of my hurts, my creations and to return to what is true in life and live this.
It took many years and the wisdom presented by Serge Benhayon to finally get me to acknowledge that: “The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.” – and the pain I carried from hiding me away from the world was huge. It has taken a long time to be able to stop and look at myself in the mirror for no other reason than to take the time to truly look at, and acknowledge the beautiful woman who is looking back at me, and there are still days it is only a passing glance. There are some days I still can only see the pain, but as my love for me grows deeper those days are getting fewer and fewer.
Nicole this is a super powerful sharing – thank you. What you have reflected is how when we are honest about how we are truly with ourselves we can then begin to heal our hurts which hold us back from being who we truly are and expressing in full. Through which we can appreciate all the love that we are in essence and share this light with world. ‘The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.’ – very true and beautifully said.
Wow Nicole that was a revealing blog. What your shared here is gold. Your wrote: “. I was hurt because I had been hiding this awesome reflection and every time I looked in the mirror the sadness was felt.” How many people are not loving what they see in the mirror and are not aware that they only see their own sadness for not choosing the love they are? It is beautiful to read what you have experienced with being more self loving and self accepting – this is very inspirational.
It is very true what you share Nicole. Once we start and commit to appreciating ourselves and others for exactly who we are as we are, a lovely warm feeling starts to come from inside. This feeling has all the potential in the universe for us the lovingly be all of who we are, without reservation. And this is the reflection the glass or world mirror reflects back to us.
‘ The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.’ – Wow Nicole what a power-full and true statement. No one can inflict pain onto us, the deep hurt we feel is the pain of missing our true selves. Thank you for the beautiful reminder to look in a mirror and truly appreciate and accept the amazingness we are.
‘I now live each day appreciating the woman I am, continuing my expansion of self for all the world to see.’ Powerful and beautiful.
This is an incredible process that you describe Nicole. Of appreciating, accepting and really seeing myself as I gaze into my reflection. I notice that I have glazed over in my eyes, not wanting to really see the World or have the World see me; which is I am sure why I am still marginally short sighted. A protection that kicked in when I was feeling the pressure of the World in Year 12.
Nurturing and being with the Woman I am, in my early morning, as I shower and dress and as I do my hair and make up, I am seeing my eyes more open and allowing, more at ease. It is very beautiful. I am also adoring my body, exactly the way it is, appreciating it for the truth it constantly offers me.
‘The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.’
This sentence is very true Nicole, we all walk around protecting ourselves because we’ve been hurt by others, but what really hurts is our walking away from ourselves, so it doesn’t make sense that we don’t let other people in.
You raise such a great question Nicole – how do we look at ourselves in the mirror? As I was reading I could feel the same as you when the question was posed to you – there are many moments when I glance in the mirror, but it’s only been recently that I’ve really looked at myself and received what was looking back at me. This has really supported me to build a loving relationship with myself and I take this as a time to confirm myself and appreciate who I am.
‘I’ve really looked at myself and received what was looking back at me’ – that’s it Brooke. The difference in how that feels is huge if a little disconcerting at first!
Nicole, I love this blog. You touch on an issue that so many women must encounter and yet possibly not realise what lays beyond the selfworth issues that might be reflecting back at them. These following few sentences really resonated for me and they go wonderfully deep to show what might really be behind our inability to look, hold and enjoy our own reflection: “I did not stop to consider the amazing beauty I had concealed from myself and the world – I only knew that the hurt I had been protecting myself from was actually coming from me. I was hurt because I had been hiding this awesome reflection and every time I looked in the mirror the sadness was felt. I did not like what I saw – what I was looking at was not me and it hurt. The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.”
I’ve noticed that the greatest reflection that I experience is that of my thoughts. If I am present, the quality of my thoughts is a perfect reflection of my state of being. Am I thinking or being caught in the conundrums of everyday life or am I engaged in the awareness of living in connection. This plays itself out in front of the mirror as well, do I feel the deep sense of me or do I not give that a second look.
I recall hearing one amazing lady who knows her own value inside and out share her love of mirrors and looking at herself (she has no less than six in her bedroom alone). And why wouldn’t you, if what you see is simply gorgeous and amazing? That’s where I want to get to.
Nicole this article is a great ‘reflection’ in and of itself for us all, prompting us to examine our own relationship with ourselves. I noticed over the years that I too had fallen into the habit of making it all about checking my appearance rather than deeply admiring me. I’ve also noticed that I would apparently look different in different mirrors and at different times of the day – a very interesting phenomenon, and one that showed me how I received what I saw depended on what I was feeling in the emotional sense at that time. But most of all I came to see the judgment in each of those looks, the constant negative self-assessment and appraisal. Today, rather than looking at my image critically, I’m practicing looking at how I feel in the energetic sense – what I’m emanating.
Victoria I often wondered why I look different in various mirrors. Your explanation makes a lot of sense to me, that it depends “on the emotional sense at the time”. I was never one to look much at my reflection, not liking what I saw, comparing and judging myself and coming short. Nicole’s blog opens up a new opportunity to learn to accept myself for who I am, not what I look like. I know there is more to me than what the mirror is reflecting back. So mirror, here I come, ready to explore and unfold the real me.
Great point, Doug. Our lack of relationship with ourselves in the mirror and in daily life is certainly fuelling the demand for plastic surgery. The increase in demand is a direct indication of how lost we, as a society, are becoming. But there is another way and Nicole has presented such a simple way to engage with ourselves on a much deeper level here in this blog.
I love this Nicole! You have shared so beautifully the difference between how we use the mirror to further cement how we feel about ourselves in the critical or negative sense or to truly stop and pay attention and feel who is looking back at us. This is such a wonderful example of how we can relearn to deeply connect and appreciate ourselves. It’s always fascinates me how accurately our reflection reveals how we have been living, when I feel amazing I look amazing but when I feel flat or off, then that also shows. The mirror never lies! But even when we may not feel quite ourselves, this is when we really need to look deep and see past the outer and connect to who is really looking back at us. Awesome blog, thank you
The difference between the mirror as a tormentor and the mirror as a gift of reflection. That is the change that has occurred for me since working with Universal Medicine. The mirror has not changed – I have! And not on the outside either – no plastic surgery, just a little bit of ageing!
What has occurred with the support of Universal Medicine is a breaking out of a prison of imposed (some by me) ideas and beliefs about how I should be and look in the world. Multiple roles taken on, along with various outer guises and appearance management. None of which supported me in truth and all of which were therefore unsustainable and a struggle.
Alongside Universal Medicine I have been able to let a true expression of me emerge and to actually get to know myself. Therefore what I see in the mirror today is me – sweet, beautiful, vital and inspired – not a mask that is always just falling short of requirements.
What a gift ! To see and break free of the beliefs and imposed ways of being in the World. This is liberation.
So before we even approach the mirror we have chosen what we will see. Are we being loving, tender and appreciative or critical and harsh? So cool to ponder this and the power of our choices.
Thank you Nicole, I will pay more attention to myself next time I am in front of a mirror and check the degree to which I connect to the reflection coming back or if I use it for the function it provides… I have a hunch it will show me a bigger reflection of how I interact with others as well.
Great point Joel “I have a hunch it will show me a bigger reflection of how I interact with others as well.” Not only does the reflection we see allow us to feel how we feel about ourselves, but how we feel about others… So the question to me is not “Will we see?” or “What will we see?” but “How much do we allow ourselves to see?”
‘I started to enjoy walking past a mirror and slowly began to appreciate the woman I was becoming – or what I should say is that I was now allowing the woman I had always been, out.’ ….. love the point you make here, Nicole. It’s incredible how dismissive we can be about ourselves, how shockingly hard it IS for us to accept that we ARE in fact absolutely gorgeous. I recently found myself looking in the mirror admiring how my skin was glowing. I fleetingly thought, it must be the new face cream I’m using, but stopped myself just in time to quickly dispel that misconception and instead appreciated the fact that it was a reflection of the joy radiating out from within. The absolute joy I feel in finally ‘allowing the woman I am, out’.
This is so beautiful to read Alison. Thank you very much for sharing this gorgeous moment with us all. Very inspiring.
Good point, Doug. The very notion of someone having plastic surgery to enhance their looks is such a sad reflection on our society. That there is such a lack of self worth, particularly amongst women, that we would rather go under the knife to alter our body, rather than choose to feel how amazingly beautiful we already are. That we ARE enough, we don’t need to undergo surgery to discover the perfection that lies within us all.
“…we ARE enough, we don’t need to undergo surgery to discover the perfection that lies within us all.” I love what you have shared here Alison as it rings so true to me.
I too really related and enjoyed reading how you dropped this mask you used to hide your hurts from the world. It feels lovely to appreciate my inner beauty by looking at my own reflection and see how more and more I risk letting others in.
I really understand this sentence, it resonated with me “The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.” I got to the point where I made a decision that I would not turn away from being truthful, and speaking my truth was what I needed to do, I could not continue to be a ‘shadow’ it hurt so much, I cold feel tension in my chest, stress in my shoulders, sadness over my heart and now it has melted and nothing that any one can attack me with would ever hurt as much as me not speaking this truth.
Beautifully said, Samantha. And nothing surpasses the feeling I have when I am melted into the sweetness that I am in relationship with God and life.
‘The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.’ I can so relate to this. And relate to what this looks like when I look in the mirror – I see a kind of ghost looking back. The pain of me not committing to fully being with myself in this world. I have seen this harm reflected back to me.
But what is beautifully shared is looking deeper and seeing the beauty within and how accepting this is me allowing myself to shine.
Nicole wow and wow I so love your blog. It shows me I’m worth looking beyond my hurt of not seeing all of who I am to ‘I was now allowing the woman I had always been, out.’ I hadn’t appreciated this fully until now but having gone in and tried on some clothes I got the top because I loved seeing my skin through the holes at the shoulder. It felt so lovely appreciating me.
Such a change from the other day where I lamented I didn’t have the body that looked good in the clothes – me trying to fit the clothes and not the other way around. It’s not about what I look like on a superficial level it’s about me wearing clothes that celebrate me.
This reminds me of how i look at myself in the mirror immediately after having had a healing session. When I first began having healing sessions, the esoteric practitioner I saw had a mirror in her room. On getting off the table she would encourage me to look in the mirror. The reflection I saw was one that I wanted to continually look at in the mirror. I also think of my son. As a baby I had a mirror on the floor and he would spend hours in front of it looking at himself. At age six he often sits in front of the mirror looking at himself and playing. It is a beautiful thing to watch him enjoy his reflection and be so playful with himself.
‘I was hurt because I had been hiding this awesome reflection and every time I looked in the mirror the sadness was felt.’ Yes Nicole, how we used to feel hurt because we hide who we are, our amazingness, I can relate… I love how you turned this around and now celebrate, shine and appreciate the true beautiful person you are.
Who is looking at who, when we look in the mirror. Are we looking from a place of truth, or is it from the outer existence that has been created from all around looking back on ourselves. Both provide very different realities.
Great revelation Matthew. There is much to ponder on here in your comment.
How we feel when we really look at ourselves in the mirror is a great indication of where we are at with our relationship with ourselves. I know for me this has been transforming from only glancing at myself or looking at the parts of my face that I am applying makeup to… to standing in from of the mirror admiring my amazing eyes, my smooth and shiny skin, my makeup that has been lovingly applied. Yes, it was uncomfortable to start with but now it feels amazing to have a date with myself in the mirror and to really see myself for the amazing beauty I am, inside and out.
‘How we feel when we really look at ourselves in the mirror is a great indication of where we are at with our relationship with ourselves,’ and can help deepen our levels of intimacy. A beautiful sharing Nicole and Robyn, and time for me to go further with this.
“and can help deepen our levels of intimacy.” Absolutely Lorraine!
This is a beautiful blog Nicole. I remember a friend once asked me if I ever look in the mirror and look into my eyes and know that I am a son of God. When this man asked me this I thought, wow that is a good question. The answer was no, I had never done that. and then the question became why have I never done that? I started giving it a go after that and was amazed at the different times of looking into my eyes and what I saw. Sometimes I could see all of me and others I could clearly notice that I was not there so to speak. It was a fascinating experience, and I could really relate what I saw to how I was feeling or how I was being in the day.
I like to do a double take when I look in the mirror. When I look in the mirror, the habit of glancing is now followed by a deeper look into my eyes, to confirm myself, what I’m feeling and reflect how I am in the day. I can feel the glancing getting less and less.
Wow Nicole, you have really inspired me to look in the mirror and not just glance at myself, I love how you adore and appreciate yourself now, so beautiful. It makes me realise that there is this idea that it is ‘vain’ and ‘big headed’ to look in the mirror and that because of this I did not ever want to be caught looking at myself in the mirror, let alone adoring myself, but your article shows me that it is not vain but very lovely to look at ourselves and that this is a great way to re-connect.
This was a really powerful blog for me to read Nicole. “…when trying on clothes I never looked at myself but looked at and admired the clothes I was trying on – never once stopping to admire the person that was wearing the clothes.” This really hit home as I wasn’t taking in the full beautiful picture, I was ignoring me and loving the garments, ouch. Then, when I paused to think about how I look at myself in the mirror, well I only look deep into my eyes, knowing the precious being is there but again not taking in the full beautiful picture and seeing all of me – there is a hiding in this and a dismissing of the body and it’s expression and reflections that I’m not wanting to see and feel. There is much more to ponder on here for me.
Looking at myself in the mirror, deep into my eyes has allow me to get in touch with another level of intimacy with myself I have not experienced before and now can share with those around me.
Yes, Francisco, I too have felt this increased level of intimacy with myself and others.
The question was raised yesterday about appreciating me when I looked into my eyes in the mirror. So I did this when I got home. As you ask Nicole “Why would I not want to stop, and looking in a mirror, see a true reflection of glorious me”? It’s a beautiful loving choice to appreciate and celebrate that which we truly are, without model looks and perfection. Gently gently becoming lovingly intimate and 100% accepting of the reflection that comes back absolutely evolves the reflection into appreciation of who we are within.
I love how you appreciate yourself everyday. I have been making a commitment to myself to appreciate my beauty, my eyes, my curves, my walk, my movements. By becoming more aware of how beautiful I am from the inside, I see how actually beautiful I am on the outside too and I am starting to appreciate that. Not to decide my beauty based on certain ideals or believes, but just on how I am feeling. The more beautiful I am feeling inside of me , the actually more beauty I can see in the mirror!
I can even feel your commitment to appreciate your beauty on the inside from your reflection in your writing Danna. It’s amazing.
What a great commitment you have made Danna, to appreciate yourself in many ways, and by, ‘becoming more aware of how beautiful I am from the inside, I see how actually beautiful I am on the outside too’, and then appreciate that too. This is not based on ideals and beliefs of how we should look, but from how we are feeling inside.
Thank you Nicole for reminding me that the person underneath the clothing is what the world sees. I have often enjoyed admiring my clothing choices in front of the mirror but never to the depth that you have shared in your blog of appreciating the women in that body- ME!
Thank you Nicole for writing this – It is something I have been working with myself and it is a deep exploration into the many beliefs I carry on how I should look in the world as a man that are surfacing. What you present allows me to go deeper with this process and that is to truly stop and make sure I am committed to first seeing all of me – not just my hair or my eyes or my clothes – all of me right down to my essence.
When we take the time to stop and connect with our essence it is wonderful also to appreciate the beauty that is naturally there wanting to be shared with others.
I know that too Lee, looking to how I look instead of feeling the beautiful and deep emanation of love that is reflected from my total image in the mirror. Nowadays the reflection of me from the mirror can sometimes completely stop me and make me amazed about the beauty I see.
Re-reading your blog was a beautiful reminder to me Nicole, to stop and take the time to really enjoy my own reflection. I feel I too could do with being less hard on myself and actually start to see the woman who lives behind my eyes, as I feel she is a beautiful, loving and powerful woman who is just waiting to be seen by me.
Waiting be seen by you and everyone else!
It is a beautiful reminder to me also, ‘to stop and take the time to really enjoy my own reflection’, to appreciate the amazing woman I truly am.
So true Jade, for if we do not stop to appreciate and enjoy our own reflection how can we possibly begin to appreciate and enjoy another’s?
Looking lovingly into the mirror – it is still a topic I can work on. There are still some days where I start to judge myself how I look. For me an important realization is, no matter how I feel and how I look, I’m a son of god. There was a time, when I gave my feelings more power than the fact, I’m already IT.
This line really stood out to me “there was no admiration or adoration of myself”. It was the word adoration that really got me considering how much do I actually allow myself to adore myself. The answer is that I do not do it often enough and I can feel how essential it actually is. Thank you for the reminder.
Thanks for highlighting that line Elizabeth. I had skimmed over that part in the blog. I can appreciate myself in the mirror but I don’t allow myself to adore me. I’m going to give it a go!
Thank you Nicole, I love reading your blog as I am reminded how far I have come since the days I used to look in the mirror to look for the things that were not right with me as that was all I could see. Most of the time I would avoid mirrors so as to not be reminded of my flaws. It is only since being inspired by Serge and Natalie Benhayon has there been a turn around, and the relationship with myself and now as I look in the mirror I’m seeing my reflection as the beauty from within is shining back and I sometimes go back again to the mirror to allow pause, to acknowledge me , this always begins with looking deeply into my own eyes.
I love it Yasmin when you describe how you “…sometimes go back again to the mirror to allow pause, to acknowledge me , this always begins with looking deeply into my own eyes.” This is truly beautiful and something I have also been doing lately.
Our self talk when we look into a mirror is very revealing, whether we dismiss what we see or focus on the flaws or love what we see. I used to focus on the flaws as I perceived them, so looking in the mirror was just an extension of my self talk that plagued me in all areas of my life. So this is a good focus to understand how you are really treating yourself. To change that view and really look into the depths of your own eyes and to let yourself in to you is very profound. I have found it to be true that the more I love myself the more I love everyone else. I can feel there is truth in the idea that if I let myself into the beauty that is me then I will be able to let everyone else in.
Well said Amanda Woodmansey – the mirror is indeed amazing to expose our self talk – “….whether we dismiss what we see or focus on the flaws or love what we see”.
There was a time, in the not too distant past, that all I thought I was able to see were the flaws. Since attending presentations by Serge Benhayon I have been inspired to really see the truth of me in the mirror – in my eyes.
Now, I can see instantly if I am a little ‘out of myself’ and with simply asking myself the question of “where are you?”, there is an immediate change in my eyes and feeling of presence again with my body.
To look into the mirror and really hear how we talk to ourselves is an amazing step to uncovering just how we are with ourselves. This is a great point you have raised Amanda. It is also great for me to realise and appreciate that my self talk has shifted significantly from pulling apart all my so called imperfections to really looking at myself in the mirror and appreciating the power in my eyes, the glow of my skin, the relaxed nature of my face, how my jaw has changed, how the wrinkles on my face have lessened and so much more. So much has changed since I have been taking more loving care of myself and my reflection in the mirror is reflecting this :).
Your blog is very refreshing to read Nicole. It is so common for women to critique themselves when looking in the mirror so to come to where you have is inspirational for women (and men) to read.
And where does this destructive habit come from I wonder? It really is no the way to treat ourselves, critiquing instead of appreciating. Thankfully there are women around the world breaking this mould, those who have listened to and been inspired by Serge Benhayon, Natalie Benhayon and the many role models within Universal Medicine, to be loving and tender with themselves. Realising that we are totally worth it as well. This has made a high difference to my life just realising that I am in fact worth the Love and Attention I give to myself nowadays.
After reading this Nicole I’m going to be much more aware of my relationship with myself and the mirror and being more open to really seeing and appreciating me.
If we take the time to appreciate ourselves when we look in the mirror, it is interesting to notice that often the reflection we see is a perception of how we feel about ourselves.
What a beautiful sharing and reflection of yourself and all you are. Your amazing beauty discovered is a message for everyone to truly nurture treasure appreciate and love oneself. Our reflection in the mirror is a great marker of how we see ourselves and our true beauty and true appreciation is something we all need to appreciate .This is one of the real gifts that has been brought to everyone by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine as a reflection and inspiration and loving way to live.
Looking in the mirror for me has become a good check to see where I am at.
If I just see joy and beauty I know I am fine and connected with myself.
Should any doubt our dislike try to creep in, I instantly know that there is something to be looked at.
This is a great tool to use on a daily basis, even more than once a day, Michael. Thank you for the inspiration.
I had quite an aha moment in front of a mirror in a shop a couple of years ago now. I was trying on some pretty groovy and tight trousers, they had been suggested by the shop assistant and I was bit resistant with all kinds of ideas about why I couldn’t wear them: too old, legs too thin, they were too sexy, not my style etc etc. As I looked in the mirror all that dropped away and I simply saw what was there, me exactly as I was without an ounce of judgment or any other mental movement. It was a moment of complete self-acceptance and self-appreciation at the same time and yup I bought the trousers and some spell was broken that day – I didn’t have to be anything or look a certain way or hide any flaws I could just celebrate me. Incidentally I’ve enjoyed wearing the trousers heaps.
Yes, you’re right Shirley-Ann when I feel lovely the clothes reflect that. Actually I have to confess to being fascinated by being able to see my rear view when I’m in a changing room with a double mirror. I get to see and feel what my form looks like from behind and I can honestly say I love it with all the lovely, delicate and quirky details that make me smile.
Nicole, it is true that once we start to pause and truly take note of ourselves when we look in the mirror it does not take long to see the beautiful being shining through. I love particularly to look into my own eyes as there is such a depth and beauty that reflects back to me which is timeless and true.
Stopping and truly taking note of ourselves in the mirror can certainly be revealing. It can offer us an honest place to start with having a real relationship with ourselves. A relationship that is not just skin deep but one that comes from the depth within us.
Great point Robynjones which breaks the common notion that mirrors are only there for the more superficial aspects of ourselves. I remember as a child being fed the idea that mirrors were to do with vanity (which was ‘bad’) and therefore one shouldn’t spend too much time in front of them!
Good to throw that idea out now, Josephine! I love how this blog brings with it a true way of being with ourselves in the mirror and there is not an ounce of vanity in it! Great point that you have raised and a common misconception I feel.
‘ I was hurt because I had been hiding this awesome reflection…..what I was looking at was not me and it hurt’ Wow. This hit home. A deeply profound blog. My relationship with me and my mirror has just gone to a new level of awareness, respect and opportunity. Thank you.
This is really supportive to read Nicole! I have a slightly different relationship to mirrors, but in essence I do a similar thing. Instead of just glancing at a shadow when I walk past one, I stop, turn and evaluate my face inside out and carefully pick out all the flaws that I see. This can range from spots, to oily skin, messy eyebrows, bad makeup, pointy nose, chubby cheeks and even that my pupils are too small and I look kinda crazy. Seems pretty unrealistic (which it definitely is) but it’s exactly what happens when I don’t appreciate myself and compare to the ‘perfect woman’ image I’ve created in my mind. Pretty horrible. I’m doing this less and less, and I realise that I do have the choice to NOT do this and do something different – i.e. look in the mirror and choose features I do love to name and appreciate.
A Beautiful Letter of true appreciation of you and the amazingness that has always been there but the difference being it is all allowed out for the world to see. There was so much realised in your comment – ‘The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me’. The majority of the population in this Glorious world are holding back – How amazing if we all allowed ourselves to shine – what a world it would be.
Nicole I loved your blog thank you, what you’ve shared is so true. Up until earlier this year…so some 50 years into my life, I always had a very subtle lingering feeling that it wasn’t ok to ‘like your own reflection’. That this meant you were ‘up yourself’ or ‘vain’. Following a presentation by Natalie Benhayon at one of the Universal Medicine Retreats, that little corker got exposed and cracked. Inherent in this was permission to love my reflection… which I notice I now do unashamedly, and if I don’t, is always reflective of something l’m carrying about myself that is not true. It’s now an amazing marker of how I am in relationship to myself… the most important one to start the day with I find.
I used to have that lingering feeling too! Similarly through Universal Medicine I’ve been blessed to have the reflection of seeing others unashamed appreciation of themselves and feeling how they weren’t putting themselves above anyone just appreciating their own beauty. Now looking in the mirror is a great marker of how I am in relationship with myself too. And the relationship that I have with me affects how I am with everyone else.
So true Fiona, during childhood we are so often told never to appreciate ourselves – be it publicly or in private. Instead we should always strive to become even better.
Seeing people who do not hide the appreciation for themselves is so very healing as one can realize the power appreciation has and that is has nothing to do with arrogance or false pride, but is just a joy expressing all somebody is.
I used to avoid my reflection in public places for fear of not wanting to be seen as vain. I had a fear of being vain and I associated mirrors with vanity. When in public I would cast a quick glance at myself but nothing more or try and sneak a glance at my reflection in a shop window. I am much less sneaky about it now. I also enjoy seeing other women enjoy their reflection. Watching others appreciate their beauty in a gorgeous thing. But not as gorgeous as appreciating my own reflection.
Your comment Nikki has reminded me of how I used to enjoy sitting in front of the mirror playing with different hairstyles when I was a teenager. I could be there for hours just enjoying being with me and experimenting. I also very much enjoyed looking a myself in the mirror… but I was told repeatedly that I was being vain and I allowed this lie to impact on my relationship with the mirror and I started to do what you have described and just have quick glances so I wouldn’t get criticised for being vain. What a tragedy it is to corrupt this innocent way of being with ourselves. Thankfully I am coming back to my former, unclouded relationship with myself and the mirror, and am once again enjoying seeing myself in the mirror… pausing (sometimes for awhile) to soak in all the glory and gorgeousness I see in the mirror again.
That’s gorgeous Robyn. When we look at ourselves with appreciation how can it be vain? If we take the self out of it, we realise that we are looking at God’s creation. I didn’t make this gorgeous body. I am responsible for how I live, how I take care of it and what I allow into my body (including energetically). If I get myself out of the way, when I look in the mirror I see a creation of God. Thats is incredible to look at.
For 7 years I didn’t have a mirror to look in, just a very small one in the bathroom, I didn’t have any real idea of what I was wearing, how I looked anything. Then at a Esoteric women’s group someone said something about looking in the mirror and I remember thinking I never do that look at myself in the mirror. I realised it was a case of me not wanting to see the reflection coming back to me so began a process of taking more care with myself and loving so that when I did look in the mirror I actually could start to appreciate the quality I was living in. Now I love looking in the mirror taking the time to put my make up on. It’s awesome.
Where and when did we lose it?: “what can be observed when a child looks at themselves in the
mirror… you can see the way they admire and adore themselves with each and every glance.”
I also see that children many times look at themselves with true curiosity, like it is the first time they see themselves, so curious and appreciative, not an ounce of judgement or criticism.
Yes I remember babysitting once and the child continually looked at themselves in the mirror. I remember being a bit thrown by it – and if I am honest thinking they are quite vain and need to ‘get over themselves’. Fast forward 8 years and now I think I would join them and we could spend time appreciating ourselves because I realise it was not in vanity the child was doing that, they just thought they rocked! I see that when children watch videos of themselves – they adore it. Look at me here, isn’t that bit funny – aren’t I great here. We need more of this. For sure. Appreciate who we are and each other. That’s the answer.
Yes we need more of that, everyone. Appreciation and even adoration, so now it´s having a look at what is in the way of me adoring myself and getting rid of it. Whatever it is, disorder, chaos, raciness, insecurity, thoughts, habits…getting rid of all that so that more and more each day I can look in the mirror and absolutely love what I see and feel.
Could there be anything more beautiful than watching a woman begin the process of loving herself? There is such a joy in me reading this, and the beauty felt of a woman who is starting to love herself is massive. So, so beautiful.
Nicole what a glorious article. I could feel the wonderful expansion of who you are and of who you continue to be. The glance into the mirror that you so aptly describe is one that I know well. In fact worse than that I remember feeling pretty disgusted in the past at the reflection of certain areas of my body. The way that i feel about myself has changed so radically that recently I have found myself seeking out mirrors to purposefully look at myself and often to look into my eyes.
That is so cool Alexis, what I find fascinating about mirrors is that they can reflect back exactly how we are, no fog or lies simply the way it is. The more loving we are living with ourselves then naturally the more loving the reflection we get back will be. What I love about mirrors is that they give us the chance to see the reflection we are giving others, sure this may not be pretty at times but is worth stopping to see so then at least we have the opportunity to be honest with ourselves and make different more loving choices, otherwise nothing changes and the lie we have been living with continues unabated.
Gorgeous Alexis, a confirmation and celebration of you and your amazing turnaround.
All so true Nicole. When I look in the mirror my eyes dart harshly to my hips and mid area, i’ll either think ‘Oh I look slim today’ or quite the opposite. I have now been intently looking into my own eyes when I see my reflection and this instantly softens me and I melt into the who I am. Pretty cool. This blog is a reminder for me to deepen that and not shy away when I sometimes feel ‘woah, can I be this gorgeous’, absolutely!
A while ago I noticed I was doing a similar thing – alway looking with judgement and looking at areas that I wanted to change. I put myself on a training program and when I would look in the mirror I would make sure that I looked at what I liked about myself. Over time this had a big impact. I stopped looking at my body harshly and with judgement and my appreciation of my body grew and grew. I now love my body and have a huge appreciation for it. I love this next step of looking past the body and to me. I do it sometimes but it is not a regular practice. And I love what you say Rachael about not shying away from how gorgeous we can be. If I can learn to accept and allow the grandness of my beauty, then perhaps I won’t hold it back as much.
This line stood out for me – I did not stop to consider the amazing beauty I had concealed from myself and the world. My amazing beauty will be appreciated from today more than ever before thanks to this blog. I can’t wait to find a mirror!
This blog and the comments are so inspiring, I am now going to start appreciating my beautiful self in a whole new way. Thank you everyone for sharing.
“The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.” Such a deeply humbling and exposing statement, Nicole. Thank you.
That statement also grabbed my attention, it is quite powerful
Thanks Nicole for this blog- you have a way of writing and sharing your experiences that makes it easy to understand and consider topics that can be confronting. I too can avoid real-ly looking at my reflection with connection and even not make eye contact with myself – as you say – it is looking without seeing. What is great about this is looking in a mirror is something we already do, most likely at least once a day and it can simply be done with more presence- it takes no more time to look with connection than it does to look with glazed eyes.
This is a great point that I can relate to a lot. When I consider it how often have I looked at myself in the mirror functionally but not really seen myself or connected to my essence. If we really stop and look into someone’s eyes or truly observe their face or posture (including our own) we can get a clear feeling of how they are feeling. There is a raw honesty in that. Maybe that is what we avoid wanting to see in the mirror and so we make it about functional things e.g. clothes, hair, weight etc to escape this responsibility we have to ourselves as you describe Nicole?
The responsibility of true observation is exactly what we are avoiding when we only look for the shadow of our own reflection and in the reflection of others. Well said Andrew.
I loved too, how you brought it back to the child that looks in the mirror, what a great reflection to be naturally appreciative. I will connect to it and even after making adjustment how I look in the mirror in rereading your blog it inspires me again to connect deeper when I look at me…how easily you can get caught into the outside instead of keeping the connection to the inside.
True steffihenn … it is easy to get caught in the externals, and I find I have to consciously choose to take the time to look deeper and connect to beauty within.
This was so much fun to read, Nicole – sweet inspiration for making a simple choice to open up, appreciate and commit to our natural beauty. My relationship with mirrors has been a fraught one over the years! Avoidance and cursory, critical glances being the norm.
I do take time to really look these days and in so doing spot immediately if there is any disdain or disregard in my ‘attitude’ towards me. With the support of Universal Medicine I am swift to ‘kick this into touch’ and see beyond the physical, to the brightness of my eyes and the joy and delicateness I feel about being a woman; in other words my true beauty, which emanates endlessly from within out.
Beautifully said Matildaclark. It has been a commitment over time to fully embrace myself and celebrate how amazing I am. Once past the original struggle with the mirror, I now am able to see more deeply who I am rather than cast the critical glances. Thanks Nicole for your blog.
Nicole, you say ‘living a shadow of who I truly am hurts more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me’. Actually, no-one can hurt us, we are responsible for our hurts – we choose to be hurt. And this is why we feel so sad because we know we made those choices for so long and delayed the joy of being ourselves and of being a true reflection for others so that they too can be themselves.
I used to look at my image in the mirror a lot but it usually was accompanied with judgment or some comparison with another image in my mind of someone else. Occasionally I would see the real me and it was a stop moment as I felt the beauty emanating from me. Living in the bush without any mirrors helped me let go of my preoccupation with how I looked and when I did see my image again I saw it as a reflection of how I felt within and I was not so caught in the image. I realized that I was still getting a reflection, not from the external mirror, but from the people I lived with, especially the children who provided a very honest refection of where was at.
What a great pause you have offered here Nicole – how often we look but rarely do we see the beauty we try so hard to mask from the world. The mirror will always show us how we feel and not how in truth we look. What you are presenting here is a way to be with ourselves, that like a child, allows this natural grace and beauty to ooze forth uninhibited. A beauty we unashamedly once shared with the world when we were young but due to layers of inhibitions, insecurities, doubts, fears and self-loathing, we have often as an adult kept it ‘behind closed doors’. By meeting ourselves in the mirror and appreciating what is already there, we give ourselves permission to share this with the world once more. For it is by meeting ourselves first, that we trust another to meet us also. Thank you.
Your words Liane are exquisite as is your intention, “it is by meeting ourselves first, that we trust another to meet us also”. Thank you.
What a lovely opportunity to appreciate ourselves and not only meet ourselves fully but others through a glance in the mirror.
Beautiful words indeed. By meeting ourselves first we are also allowing ourselves out so that others may meet us.
Profoundly gorgeous Liane. No mirror needed, I can see your beauty clear as day.
Beautifully expressed Liane. ‘By meeting ourselves in the mirror and appreciating what is already there, we give our selves permission to share this with the world once more’. I’ll take those words with me to the mirror.
Nicole, it’s lovely to read how you are now appreciating the ‘true reflection of glorious me’. It’s there for all of us to see if we can look beyond the façade to what is always there beneath the image we spend so much effort to create. And Serge Benhayon is a very clear mirror who offers us this true reflection every time we look in his eyes or are in his presence. The question is, can I receive it?
This is lovely Nicole: “With the hurts falling away and the real me shining through, why would I not want to stop, and looking in a mirror, see a true reflection of glorious me.” In the past I would have labelled this as arrogant but I’m realising the importance of bringing appreciation to ourselves.
This is great. On the one hand we celebrate and encourage children to feel wonderful about themselves, yet when it comes to ourselves or other adults there is so much judgment and suspicion if we do this, and a collective cutting down at times. Yet we know we feel bad and when the steps are taken to simply feel great about ourselves we don’t allow it. Life is made so complicated and it doesn’t have to be.
So true Annie, I can totally relate to what you have shared. Appreciating ourselves in the mirror allows us to build the value we feel for ourselves and as a consequence build the appreciation we feel for others. Why would we ever consider this arrogant? It just goes to show the tricks we can play on ourselves and how backwards we sometimes have it.
Nicole, this is such a gem and a great question, ‘how do we look in the mirror’ – reading it I could feel a discomfort as I realised that what I don’t like seeing when I look in the mirror is how it can show me how I’m not being me, how that hurts, that’s such a great reflection to understand, that we can hurt ourselves more than the world can by just not being us.
I agree Monica, it hurts to not be the love we so naturally are.
I have started to truly see, A women who is looking back at me, With a smile full of divine grace
and a walk of power and strength in pace.
Nicole I love your blog and it makes me feel like the process that I am starting to go through with the mirror and looking at my own reflection, is something you have already experienced. I am starting to also see this amazing women looking back at me and I am amazed at how I haven’t seen this in the mirror before.
To see the difference in the way I hold my body and even hold the muscles in my face when I am affected, distracted, worried or stuck in a mental process is quite a shock because I can look like a completely different person; a distinct and dramatically different reflection than when I am present and with myself. I also can detect this difference in others as well. Seeing this, I have no doubt that there are two options to choose from and that the choice is to be with yourself or against yourself.
I have noticed in myself too the fact that I can look into a mirror and not even connect with my eyes, just glazing over how I might look in the sense of how I have dressed and if anything is out of place (hair, makeup, clothes…). But when I do bring in the direct look in my eyes, it is like I am checking to see how I am, really asking myself how I am feeling. And at this point I cannot as easily glaze over, but get to really look and see me. It is the difference between looking and not seeing OR looking and meeting myself – one is cold the other is warm; one is functional, the other is supporting and allowing. It makes a huge difference to how I then am after the mirror encounter too and how much I appreciate me. The scary thing is that this is often what we carry out into the world too – how much do we just glaze over the person who we have just encountered? Or do we really look them in the eyes and take it all in? Thanks Nicole for bringing up this ‘reflection’.
Nicole, I just love the way you have used a childs innocent and natural adoration of themselves as an example of how we need to see ourselves – that it is a re-connection to what we already are and already know. Children know they are precious.
Yes this stopped me in my tracks too, Eva. Firstly because I work with children and often see this sweet, deep acceptance of their preciousness. I also most potently remember a time when this was my totally natural expression and care of myself. And although I learnt early on that out in the world this was perceived as vanity, it is exquisite to return to it, knowing its naturalness and knowing that so far from vanity it is true self care, a quality so deeply essential and critically part of our responsibility as we go about our daily lives.
Just reading the word ’vanity’ in your comment Matilda, made me realise what a strong hold this has had on me – it feels like there has been a lot of shame related to adoring and looking at myself from an early age.
Nicole, thank you for your sharing; it is very revealing and gives me quite a bit to ponder on. I have come a long way too, from avoiding mirrors or, like you, not being comfortable with anybody seeing me, or looking at myself. But there is still more of myself to let out, and to lovingly accept. Very inspiring Nicole.
These words inspire me to take a deeper and closer look in the mirror next time, “just a commitment to allowing myself to connect to, live and express me.
I now live each day appreciating the woman I am, continuing my expansion of self for all the world to see.
With the hurts falling away and the real me shining through, why would I not want to stop, and looking in a mirror, see a true reflection of glorious me.”
Thank you Nicole for your insightful blog. To be able to look into my own eyes in a mirror and appreciate my own beauty is a major break through for me and it is Universal Medicine I have to thank as through sessions, presentations and workshops I have been inspired to reconnect with myself on such a deep level that I now know this beauty to be my very essence.
This is beautiful Kathleen, I love feeling a woman celebrating herself. My heart always wants to join in on that party!
You are more than welcome to join me Melinda all that is required is the celebration of yourself as the beautiful woman you are if you are not already doing this. And if you are you have already joined the party!
I can feel the joy you now experience of living a true and loving relationship with yourself. Fantastic! Recently i’ve began this process – just before I go to bed I have been stopping and looking at myself in the mirror and see myself glowing back, it’s like I’ve just noticed that I am there and I stop and say, ‘you are absolutely gorgeous.’ To build on this is such a joyful, playful and life changing experience. Thank you indeed to Serge Benhayon.
The time in the morning putting my makeup on is very valuable as when I am looking in the mirror, my response indicates to me how I am. If I love what I feel is being reflected back to me I know I am connected. If I feel ugly then I know I am not with myself and need to get back to me.
I love both of your comments above, marylouisemyers, thank you. Appreciating transformative moments when we can ‘strut our stuff’ in full acceptance and celebration of ourselves and our bodies AND taking responsibility for what we are being shown in how we perceive ourselves in any given moment: with love or disdain. My work with Universal Medicine has meant that I am open to taking the responsibility of this awareness at the same time as knowing what to do when my feedback to me is judgmental and critical (simply stop and afford myself the grace to come back to the quiet within that holds me and my true, exquisite nature).
My mirror always shows me where I am with myself based on my response to my reflection. I have so much to show myself when I really look at me in the mirror. This simple act reveals so much and by just connecting to myself with my eyes I can really feel what is truly going on for me and make my way back to adoring myself again. It’s confronting at times, but taking time to connect deeply to me in the mirror is really lovely, revealing, and so supportive. I also see so much that is truly beautiful about me and I can pause, savour that moment and appreciate me in a whole new way. I must get more mirrors! They are tools of healing and of celebration. 🙂
I can so relate to your blog Nicole, It reminded me of a time I went bra and under pant shopping. I tried on a matching green set, when I looked in the mirror I really took in my whole being and body. I felt and saw how beautiful and delicate I am. I was so blown away by myself that I strutted my stuff in front of the mirror for a while deeply admiring and appreciating me. This moment changed my relationship with myself and my body.
I feel quite inspired after reading this blog, thank you.
Although I have always had a problem with looking at myself because of my very ingrained self rejection, I have noticed with great joy, that now there are times I surprise myself by appreciating myself in the mirror. The other day I was busy at home and passed by the mirror, and it started like a glance, but then I stopped, as I really appreciated the depth and shine of my eyes, and it was not a particularly easy or joyful day at all, I had had quite a shaking, but still I loved the reflection in the mirror, I could still feel the beauty.
A mirror reflects how we have been living, and I can see the choices I have made when I see my reflection in the mirror. Its so amazing. Sometimes I am struck at just how gorgeous and amazing I look (and feel) and sometimes I am purely stunned at how ‘not me’ I look. When I feel amazing I most certainly look it too.
This is so true Harry, that what we are seeing in the mirror is a reflection of the choices we have made. Though I am an older person, I can look amazingly young on a day when I am connected to me and feeling joyful and flowing.
I totally agree with what you say here Sandra, I too can look amazingly young on a day when I am connected to me and feeling joyful and flowing
The ‘mirror never lies’ as they say and it does indeed reflect everything we have been living up till that point in time. The crucial thing is how open we are to that reflection and how much we re-interpret what we are being shown.
Children have this natural curiosity with themselves when they look in the mirror at their reflection. They don’t look around to see who is watching, they just naturally allow their own gorgeous expression to come through. Being around children can tend to bring that playful, expressive part, out of you.
‘I only knew that the hurt I had been protecting myself from was actually coming from me. I was hurt because I had been hiding this awesome reflection and every time I looked in the mirror the sadness was felt’ ….. so true.
I have also started really looking at myself in the mirror and I love seeing the sparkle in my eyes, they have changed so much over the last few years, since I’ve been making more loving choices. If I notice a change, a drop in the glow in my face, I know it’s due to the choices I’ve been making. Rather than go into judgment and self loathing, I am starting to look at what I’ve been doing that’s led to this change in my rhythm and support myself, with love, to get back on track.
“With the hurts falling away and the real me shining through, why would I not want to stop, and looking in a mirror, see a true reflection of glorious me..” This is beautiful Nicole. Only last week we were asked – during a presentation – how many times we looked in a mirror a day. I replied twice. On re-reading your blog I realise how I have still become stuck in my old belief systems about myself. Last week’s question and re – reading your blog today has shifted the pattern I was still carrying around unnecessarily. Today I shall stop and look in the mirror more than twice – and see the true me – shining and beautiful, reflecting this out to all.
I can relate to everything you share Nicole, in the past when I looked in a mirror, I got a real sense of not liking what was reflecting back at me, so it was easy to just look at the clothes I was trying on, than face the truth of the reflection. Four years on, now when I look in the mirror, I am no longer afraid to look at me, and am always drawn to my eyes and see the light that now shines there.
There is a mirror in my bathroom, in my bedroom, in my hallway, there are plenty of mirrors in my house but how often do I take a truly intimate moment with myself in the mirror? I do a precursory glance noting perhaps something, and sometimes even liking what I see but, from your blog, I am feeling to take a little more time to stop and connect with myself as I am faced with the opportunity to truly see myself in more depth without judgement or criticism and to play, as a child, in freedom and innocence.
I love how you shared that children look in the mirror totally adoring themselves and it is true! I am starting to do this with myself more and more too as I am accepting more of how beautiful I truly am.
I love being reminded of this too, as children seem to be amazed by their own reflection. It’s like they cannot get enough of it.
Looking into my eyes in the mirror is confirming of myself, I cannot deny the joyful light from deep within. Once I’ve checked with my eyes then the other details of my face, like the signs of aging, are not the focus, just part of me, and totally okay.
Thank you for sharing your process Nicole “So the process unfolded on many levels, keeping it simple to start with and taking time to actually look at myself when I was in front of the mirror. Not unlike what can be observed when a child looks at themselves in the mirror… you can see the way they admire and adore themselves with each and every glance.” Simply beautiful and beautifully simple.
So true Tamara – super simple and super beautiful!
I can relate Nicole to looking in the mirror and admiring the clothes, but not really looking beyond to truly see me and appreciate me. I felt the stigma that can often be associated with looking at oneself in the mirror as being vain and although as a little girl I loved adoring myself by looking in the mirror, I always felt guilty about this, thinking that something was wrong with me and I was vain. In hindsight, I wasn’t really vain, I was just enjoying the amazingness of what I saw, that is me. It has taken some time to come back to really allowing myself to enjoy looking at myself in the mirror and feeling that it is more than OK to adore the beauty of the woman that I see looking back at me.
And a double ouch when reading “The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.” This really nails the truth of it.
Ouch Nicole! When I read your example “when trying on clothes I never looked at myself but looked at and admired the clothes I was trying on – never once stopping to admire the person that was wearing the clothes. The body and person under the clothes were just that… there was no appreciation or connection to me, just an observation of the reflection of what I saw in the mirror.” I realised that’s exactly what I do and am still doing that! Thank you so much for bringing my awareness to this – it’s a big one!
This can be quite a confronting blog – simply stating “This is the truth, this is how I do it” and the reader can make their own choice whether to accept this truth. The blog doesn’t bridge or make excuses, it simply is.
I have always avoided looking at myself in a mirror; I even built a house with no mirrors. If I saw a photo of myself I was always surprised. “Is that what I look like?” A couple of years ago I was challenged to look at myself in the mirror and found I was looking back at myself with suspicion, trepidation, and cold seriousness. This is what I am presenting to the world no wonder people treat me at a distance. I did not want to see the truth of how I was feeling written all over my face; I also did not want to take responsibility for how I looked to the world. Looking back it was rather silly. Now I appreciate the honesty of my reflection. Thank you Nicole.
Isn’t it very curious that we are often surprised at our own reflection in the mirror? And yet it is ourselves who we live with every day that we are seeing in the mirror and so why would it seem like such a stranger? Perhaps this has to do with how honest we are or how aware we are choosing to be about how we are feeling every day?
It’s such an eye opener to see we start as little kids fascinated by our reflection, to avoiding even looking in the mirror apart from a body scan to check overall we are in order. Where do we fall out of Love with our reflection? It’s the face the world sees , so we are only hiding our reflection from ourselves, we are our own worst enemy at self criticism and judgment. Bringing myself back to Loving my true reflection, appreciating my essence to reveal the woman I am and having a fun relationship with me and let the world see me shine… No more hiding!
What an inspiration you are Nicole! I will re read this blog again and again. You offer something so practical and real to the world and inspire me to appreciate how much the world needs the likes of you, me and all of us to reconnect to our true expressions of the love we are. Keep writing!
Thank you for sharing Nicole. It’s great you have brought this to the attention of so many. Often my mirror looking is about what I’m wearing or just to make sure I look okay. I kinda miss looking in the mirror and just adoring me. For me, it says that I, as a being, actually matter too, not just what I look like. I remember I use to do it as a kid and only recently experienced my niece doing the same. It’s really beautiful to see.
‘With the hurts falling away and the real me shining through, why would I not want to stop, and look in a mirror, and see a true reflection of glorious me.’ Yes absolutely true Nicole, I love looking at my reflection in the mirror when the real me is shining through.
I love watching children check themselves out in the mirror! They really stare at themselves, fascinated at what shines back. They have no comparison issues or judgement issues coming up; what they are looking at is what they are feeling inside.
In vast contrast, the many hours I’ve spent in front of mirrors has been spent critiquing my appearance, looking to see what improvements I could make or needed to make to be acceptable. As I step into my true colours these days, I sense I’m becoming more childlike, in that I look at myself for longer and can usually see on the outside being reflected what I’ve got going on inside me.
I started lately to really look at myself in the mirror, and could see and feel what I was hiding. An awesome men actually not scared of the world, what I make myself belief sometimes, with an enormous power and beauty. With looking more and more to this beautiful men I am, I am building a true relationship with myself. This is an amazing experience. When looking in the mirror I am enjoying myself with a big smile.
‘Not unlike what can be observed when a child looks at themselves in the mirror… you can see the way they admire and adore themselves with each and every glance.’ So it is something we know and have lived as a child. There is nothing lost, just oneself to be re-discovered.
When discovering all the beauty and joy in me again through approaching myself with love instead of pressure and expectations, I began to realize what a wonderful man is reflected back in the mirror each time I look into it and how before I had only made it about the surface which I had created – which I strongly disliked – instead of seeing all this warmth, love and cheekiness that always had been within.
Powerful blog, powerful statements. It reflected for me how I was always used to look at the mirror at myself, but if I remember it back again now, I feel I have pretending to look. But in truth I was never really looking at me, but only my physical appendance. It felt like looking at a mask on my face, feeling like a rock or wall, something I could not connect to or make any contact with. It was up until I met Serge Benhayon, that I started to see myself truly in the mirror, my eyes, my shines, just everything I am.. It is then I had become in love with my self, no wall or shield, no mask or wield, just a clear and beautiful woman.. I now know what I had missed when I looked in the mirror, no mask is needed, – the love and shine is in me again , I can see it – every time I look in the mirror. It is how much I allow to truly look at myself.
A mirror can offer one of the most powerful reflections, the reflection of us when lived from the truth of our hearts. This powerful reflection is what we are walking around with every single day, as a mirror to others who have yet to see this power within themselves. A mirror can change lives, a reflection can change the world.
Feels absolutely gorgeous the way you have presented the unfolding in front of the mirror. It is actually a miracle these days that one can go from disliking one’s own reflection in the mirror to absolutely adoring oneself in full but many Universal Medicine students have in fact done just that. True self-love has a lot of power!
‘The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.’ Absolutely true Nicole and when I look into the mirror and look deeply into my eyes I cannot, even when I want to, deny the gorgeousness of who I am
I can relate with your comment Annelies, and also, ‘the hurt I had been protecting myself from was actually coming from me. I was hurt because I had been hiding this awesome reflection and every time I looked in the mirror the sadness was felt. I did not like what I saw – what I was looking at was not me and it hurt.’ The crazy trap I was caught in, now I allow myself to enjoy me and my reflection.
Yes, looking in the mirror at ourselves is a great tool of reflection and definitely one that I am enjoying more and more these days. Once not wanting to really look at myself, to now, absolutely loving my own gorgeous reflection.
It is a very beautiful thing when we take a moment to stop and look into our own eyes. There is so much depth and beauty right there…and it can also be very telling of how much we are allowing our love to shine through… When I look into my own eyes these days, I seriously fall in love. I do! When I am stopped at the lights in my car, I often pull down the mirror and take 30 seconds to check in with my eyes and I am instantly reminded of who I am – divinity in a body.
So playful Sara, I love what you share here and yep I have the same feeling as you; ‘ when I look into my own eyes these days, I seriously fall in love’.
Beautiful Sara, an inspiring comment, thank you for reminding me to take that extra moment to look into my own eyes and see my beauty and who I truly am.
Looking at yourself in the mirror is a very powerful and simple thing.
When I was about 8, a relative of mine had an enormous outburst at me in a car with my sister, cousin and mum. She told me how absolutely up myself I was. It wasn’t because I was looking in a mirror or saying flamboyant things about myself. I was expressing something at the time, I don’t remember what. She went off at me, so angrily and I was convinced from then that I must be up myself. The funny thing is that the way this experience affected me the most was that I would not like to look at myself in the mirror, especially not when other people were around. Trips into a public toilet meant that I would avert my gaze anywhere but towards the mirror. I feared that if people saw me looking at myself they too would think I was ‘up myself’.
It took a very long time to start to re-imprint my relationship with looking at myself in a mirror and really taking care when I got ready, spending lots of time getting ready. This only came after the healing I received from Universal Medicine courses and sessions with Serge Benhayon.
Now I actually use looking in the mirror as a way to support myself. When I get in my car or at work in the toilet, I look into my eyes and I feel supported by the steadiness and truth I see there. It is the complete opposite to the fear I used to be in of looking at myself in the mirror.
I can very much relate to this Shannon, not wanting anyone in a public toilet to notice that I am looking at myself in the mirror. And like you I have become more honouring in giving myself permission to do it, allowing others to notice that I admire myself.
Thank you for you honest sharing Shannon and just highlights what happens and how things affect us when we take on other people’s stuff.
Hi Shannon I can relate to not being able to look at myself in the mirror in a public place especially in a crowded ladies room. When I was young I can recall playing in front of a mirror without any self consciousness whatsoever but then I recall being told that I was vain and that vanity was one of the worst possible sins. I haven’t quite cracked this imposition in a crowded ladies room but I am working on it.
Serge has said that you either harm or heal and from that comment from that relative you can see that it had a harming affect on you. But your blog also shows that we always have the opportunity to heal and I loved reading how you reclaimed that and now use looking at the mirror as a way of supporting yourself now.
Shannon I really love what you have shared as it confirms what I have been feeling recently about looking in the mirror as a way of supporting myself. Interesting I have just had some self doubt in the last day or so and as I sit here having not yet looked in the mirror I wonder how I will appear to myself as I look back at me.
I love this Shannon – that you now use looking in the mirror as a way to support yourself. Stunningly simple inspiration. Thank You.
Thanks for sharing this Shannon. I don’t recall a particular incident, but I definitely have something that says ‘you’re vain’ or as you say ‘up yourself’ around looking at myself in a mirror in a public area. It feels like an unspoken ‘rule’ that says you cannot appreciate your own beauty, it’s just not the done thing. I have no idea where this came from but your blog has given me some food for thought – thank you.
Thank you Nicole, a lovely sharing of yourself and how important it is that we acknowledge the beautiful person within. No need to hide ourselves away from ourselves and others but let our light shine and find the joy and beauty waiting to be recognised and accepted.
” … making myself stop and look at what was being reflected back to me.”
Previously I found it hardest to take time to really see myself when I was looking my most radiant, I would sort of glance and then run. When there was something ‘wrong’ with my reflection, then I would spend time trying to ‘fix’ it, although still was not really seeing me.
These days, I delight in the surprise I get when I see my radiance and take some time to honour and acknowledge it … me!
Your beautiful blog offers so much inspiration Nicole. I have moments where I truly look at myself an see the deeply beautiful woman I am, but I can relate to the uncomfortable feeling you described when you first started to connect to your reflection. I can look another time and feel judgemental, critical and unloving of myself. Great awareness in what you say about looking at the clothes and not the person wearing them. I definitely do that – look at the whole picture making what is outside of me the thing that is making me look more beautiful, which misses out on the beautiful essence of me that is there all the time. I also love what you say about kids, “Not unlike what can be observed when a child looks at themselves in the mirror… you can see the way they admire and adore themselves with each and every glance.” It gave me a very real and tangible feeling of how it is to look at yourself in adoration – I have seen children do this, being totally admiring and adoring of themselves with absolutely no inhibition or apology. Great to see I have lots of work to do here. I feel you have given me the blueprint as to how to start. Thank You.
I have spent years checking the mirror to see if I look the way I want to look, and the way I want to present myself to the world, yet never stopping and checking the real me under the clothes and make up and expectations I have created. I love your blog Nicole it has made me stop and realise that I can still look in the mirror and not see or appreciate me but to see what areas I could change or improve. Thanks Nicole, a timely reminder for me.
Yes Alisonmoir, looking in the mirror to see a reflection of who we truly are first, and not just to check hair, makeup and clothing is key. It is my eyes I find that offer that… if I just use them to look and assess the outer appearance, then I miss the real essence of me in the appraisal.
Thank you Nicole, i really enjoy your blogs and this one is just as touching as you invite us to share in the delights of re-connecting to the beauty-full woman you are.
The mirror is a funny thing. I remember always catching my reflection in mirrors or shop windows and was always somehow fascinated by what I saw, but what I was looking at was my exterior, the way I presented myself to the world. After years of inner reflection from working with Universal Medicine, I now can look directly at me – all of me – straight into my eyes, and do a reading on where I am at in that moment. I still love the mirror, but really truly seeing myself has given the reflection it offers a whole new level.
Hubba hubba Nicole. In Australian culture it can sometimes seem like the ‘norm’ to play yourself down. It has taken me quite a while to embrace how healthy and loving it is to develop a deep level of appreciation for ourselves. So where it would used to make me squirm reading blogs like this, I know actually enjoy the celebration of ones appreciation for themselves.
It is amazing how so many people avoid mirrors, or only glance in them to check their appearance. I have found also that I feel guilty or vain if I look in the mirror around other people, or glance at myself in a shop window. But i realised that I like watching my reflection walking, seeing the way I move. Or at work, there is a mirror right beside the coffee machine and sometimes I like to look up and see my team working together reflected back at me. But at other times, like in my mirror at home, I chose only to see my imperfections, and I am having to work on seeing beyond that.
I can vouch for the truth of this statement as I have lived it myself – “the pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me”. It is so ironic that we hurt ourselves more than anyone else could ever hurt us by holding back our true power and grace.
I hear you Elizabeth- this is the deepest of pains and one inflicted upon us only by ourselves. Looking in the mirror from time to time to take stock that we are living our true essence feels like a very healing practice – the ultimate reflection if we are truly honest with how we are living.
Thank you Nicole. I love this sentence: “I started to enjoy walking past a mirror and slowly began to appreciate the woman I was becoming – or what I should say is that I was now allowing the woman I had always been, out”. I still am amazed when I walk past a mirror and teensiest of glances has me gasping ‘is that really me? I am gorgeous’.
Like you Nicole it took me a long time to feel comfortable looking at myself in the mirror, and I mean really looking: going beyond the cricticisms of the way I look: the nose that is not quite right, the wrinkles, the enlarged pores, the badly applied make up. The day I really saw my true self, I was in awe and I still am – that I can see such beauty in myself.
I love this article Nicole, and I can see myself so much in all what you have experienced. I have noticed a change, when I started to admire and adore myself with each and every glance in the mirror. I used to judge and bring me down because what I wanted to see was not what I had in my head of that what I wanted to be, the copy of a role model from my head. Living with this role model in comparison was not fun. Thanks to Universal Medicine I have found back to the real role model that is ‘me’ in my heart.
What a Beautiful blog to read. I also Love to see (or actually receive) the Amazing Beauty and Depth in my eyes and smile when they are reflected by the mirror. I also realise that these moments happen a lot, but that there’s also a lot of moments that I do not choose this. Your blog has made me aware of the fact that there’s parts that I do not want to see in the mirror because it hurts to have left myself. Using the excuse of not being accepted in the world, but if everyone’s playing that game… How on earth are we gonna end up with a society full of the Glorious Beings that we innately are. How sad and crazy is that. So from now on – without perfectionism – I will have a more deeper meeting with myself when looking in the mirror. And the last thing I want to share is that while reading your blog I could feel the choice I have to read your blog connected to the Joy in my heart or not. That in itself was a Huge revelation and healing! Thank you Nicole.
Making a choice to commit to allowing myself to connect to, live and express me.
Sounds so simple yet there are times when I find it very difficult.
Do I look at myself in the mirror, or is it just a glance; for me most often it is just a glance.
I am inspired by your blog Nicole to commit to lovingly look at myself, to really look!!
Nothing quite like a mirror to reflect what is looking straight back at you. How you described trying on clothes in front of a mirror and looking at the clothes not the person wearing them – this was such a pattern for me. This has so changed now and as I celebrate committing to living in a way that is my truth – I even catch myself glancing in shop windows, and doing a little ‘love me’ dance in the changing cubicles when trying on new clothes that fit in with my choices of how I feel to express all of me. A lovely sharing Nicole thank you. ( I sit here now smiling – I’ve just told the world that I do a sexy dance in a changing cubicle – but hey that’s joy paying a visit and I’m now embracing that)
Yes it all starts with admitting we live a facade, an ideal or a picture and we are not showing the ‘naked’ or real version of ourselves. This is the foundation to start afresh and re-discover ourselves and, in my case, allow the woman I have always been, out. I was always there, just covered up.
Sometimes I am amazed by what I see, the depths of connection that is present in my eyes. and then I will look away and am amazed that this connection is still there as something I can feel in my body, that I do not have to see to know it is there, and when I look back again the reflection becomes a confirmation of what I know to be true.
It is a amazing feel to look in the mirror and say damn he is one awesome dude.
No show boasting just the simple fact that I’m worth a lot more then what I’ve thought of my self in the past.
I can relate to what you are sharing very well Nicole. I’m making the same experience. First I always just saw the mask on my face, I couldn’t see my true me. This was very frustrating – I was always calibrating in front of the mirror and in front of other people. But slowly, the more I connect to ME, I can see the beauty of myself in front of the mirror, and that is wonderful.
A mirror is powerful, because it reflects straight back to us our relationship with ourselves, how we feel about ourselves, it is very revealing…I know there are days i look in the mirror and i see such beauty and a gorgeousness i could kiss me, with that twinkle in my eyes….there also those times i look in the mirror and I’m not in appreciation of me, but rather i catch a judgement or there is a dullness and that twinkle is not there….it simply reflect how have i been living that day with me?
Nicole I’d always viewed a mirror as something that tells me how good or bad I look, what others will think of me and so on. For this reason when I looked in the mirror it was about what my clothes or haircut looked like – not about the person I am. It’s lovely to see a new approach to looking in the mirror – one of appreciation and adoration for who we are. Thank you for sharing as I will be looking in the mirror in a very different way from now on. Actually looking rather than the quick glance.
It is a weird thing that you are bringing our attention to, and not something I would have naturally considered. But yes, generally the mirror is there to ‘glance’ at my hair, some clothes I’m trying on but never me. There is some programming in me that makes it seem indulgent, or slightly unacceptable to pause and admire the man I have become… and to appreciate myself for everything I am. If I can’t do that, then what is the liklihood of others sharing it!
Thank you Nicole, I can relate! I have noticed that when I do things very quickly, for e.g taking a “quick” glance in the mirror or rushing is simply a way of avoiding feeling where I am at or going deeper in my relationship with myself, others and my quality. A grand tool of reflection.
I can always tell where I am at by looking in the mirror. If I see my bright, present, loving eyes beaming back at me I know I am connected to the real me. If I see anything else I know I am not.
It is interesting how if we are not connected to ourselves it becomes evident in our appearance, with the majority of the world not connected to themselves imagine if they were connected and how everyone’s appearance would completely change.
I’m picturing it Ben – true beauty would be reflected everywhere, bouncing off each and all of us in confirmation of our equal natural beautiful, loving essences. Now that would be divinity in action.
I can relate to what you write here Nicole, about checking everything but myself when I have looked in the mirror, looking at my clothes, do the colours match, does this new dress make me feel good. No amount of dressing up covers what we are feeling inside. It is incredible how much learning we can get from when we make a stop and take a look in the mirror at ourselves truly. Dropping the facade makes us so much more vibrant to shine out.
Growing up, I think it was kind of drummed into me that to look in the mirror too much or too long was considered vain, which in turn seemed very sinful or something. So I would only ever steal a glance here and there to make sure I wasn’t looking too ugly. I learnt recently that when we look in the mirror the reflection we get is the reflection we want to see, so if we want to see our true beauty we can, but if that is not what we are looking for we will see all kinds of other stuff the mind is telling us is there.
Thank you Nicole Serafin for sharing your relationship with your reflection in the mirror. I know that too, that I only looked at my clothing and the overall reflection of myself in the mirror but now I really enjoy looking at me and sometimes I am even stopped and stunned by the depth and beauty that is reflected in my eyes, and my face. I thank God that there are mirrors in my life.
I find fascinating that we are brought up to not go there, to not stop and look at ourselves and embrace the beauty that we are. No surprise really when our parents and their parents have never been encouraged to have this relationship with themselves. This is the start of the next generations to come where appreciating our gorgeous beauty can be celebrated. What I get from this blog and what I relate to is taking it deeper and really accepting the utter rich, hot, sexy woman that I am and celebrate this for who I actually truly feel myself to be infront of the mirrors or not.
Gorgeous Natalie, mirror or not, it’s about feeling it to the core – all that richness, hotness and sexiness…and so much more:)
This blog is great Nicole, looking in the mirror tells us how we feel about ourselves, we can’t hide from ourselves when we take a moment to connect. After reading your blog again I went and stood in front of my mirror. I saw and felt a tender and delicate woman, and I heard my inner voice say “I love you”. This feels like such a lovely acceptance of where I am at today.
This is beautiful Nicole. I have been aware recently on how I have been looking at myself in the mirror. In fact I caught myself out the other day giving myself a quick glance to make sure everything was in place, rather than actually taking a moment to appreciate me, which I went back to do. I have also been observing how I am when I am at a public mirror, like in the public bathrooms. I can feel how I limit myself from how I look at myself. What if I get caught admiring who I am? The truth of that is that they will get to see a woman who loves, cares and appreciates herself for who she is, which is something rarely seen in a public bathroom.
Thank you, this contribution stopped me in my tracks – the tracks of a similar story to what you are describing about living a shadow of myself and the sadness this brings up. I will be looking in, and not glancing at, the mirror a lot more consciously from now on and observe if and how it changes over time.
“Glorious me”, now that feels like the key to life right there! In our glory there is only the purity of joy, harmony, stillness, love and truth, our wisdom that knows more than is comprehendible and our beauty deeper than the depth in the stars. We are glorious, and this is normal and the more we celebrate, appreciate and accept this as just who we are the more we set this foundation as our way of life. Truly gorgeous article, thank you.
If I truly look at myself in the mirror it reflects so honestly exactly how I have been feeling or living with myself. The beauty and depth that I can feel at times if I really allow myself to look is so much more than this body can hold. When I am in touch with this expansiveness I feel blessed and feel I also look beautiful…it naturally flows out. These moments remind me that we are all divinity in expression and why would we want to hold that back?
I really enjoyed feeling the unfolding acceptance and appreciation of your loveliness Nicole, beautiful.
“I was now allowing the woman I had always been, out.” I have so many opportunities throughout the day to look at myself and I spent most of my life making sure I didn’t catch myself in a reflection as it would lead to a downward spiral of self loathing. It wasn’t until I started to look at the hurt I had accumulated in my life – and I haven’t had a very traumatic life by any means, just the usual everyday disregard, overwhelm, self loathing that most of humanity chooses to walk around with. Once I started this process it was like the buffer zone I had put around myself started to go and I am now allowing the woman I had always been out. Now I love looking in the mirror and catching my reflection and even if some of the old stuff is lingering I know it is only an opportunity to work on and heal a hurt.
Glorious sharing Nicole thank you. The mirror has mostly been a place I would steer away from as its reflection confronted me too often, even today I still at times shy away from really looking to see who is there, yet when I do I’m noticing more the women who’s there looking back is not one to turn away from, but one to look deep into the eyes of and simply say hello!
Sorry to repeat but I loved this…. “But who are we kidding? Deep down we know we are not living true to ourselves, and yes it hurts when one day we look at ourselves in the mirror and admit this. But this simple admission provides a real opportunity for us to begin afresh, and choose to live who we truly are.” So well said Brendan and shows the true freeing power of honesty, and the crippling trap of denial. Denying something does not make it go away it just buries it deeper in our bodies, left to be dealt with another day.
Reading your great blog Nicole I was reflecting on how we manage to make everything functional. A mirror to ‘check ourselves out’, making sure we are acceptable to the world instead of to confirm how gorgeous and precious we are. Thank you for sharing how you have changed functionality to loving-ality for yourself and the amazing consequences that followed, loving and adoring you more and unfolding the true beauty that you are. And thank you to Serge Benhayon for always bringing through the most simplistic of teachings that transform our lives, who knew a mirror exercise could be so powerful.
Yes Caroline, just by reading this blog and all the comments I am seeing a simple everyday activity of looking in the mirror as an opportunity to check in with myself and practice accepting exactly where I am at, and appreciating myself. As you say ‘who knew a mirror exercise could be so powerful.’
I can very much relate to this superficial “checking myself out” way of looking in the mirror – this blog and comments definitely inspire me to look deeper and allow myself to see my beauty and amazingness.
During a workshop we were asked to look deeply into the eyes of another and feel and see the beauty of the other before us, (it was non-imposing and a beautiful exercise). The following day I felt inspired to deeply look into my own eyes for many minutes holding my own gaze in the mirror. I was able to see my sweet sensitivity and delicateness that came with power and warmth. After a while it was almost as if my reflection was a real person, with real presence looking back at me. I could feel the love and warmth of the reflected me, return to me as I looked out. It was as a beautiful experience as the one I shared in the workshop with a partner. To allow intimacy with yourself is a grand thing.
Looking at myself in the mirror and deeply connect with the myself has allowed me to appreciate a different level of beauty within myself that is always there waiting to be rekindled and shared with the world.
Nicole thank you for sharing you beautiful story. I so often give myself fleeting glances as I am getting ready, not truly looking into my eyes and appreciating the beauty and depth of my being. This is a great reminder and now inspired to put myself on a program which starts right now, this morning! Thank you!
Beautifully expressed Brendan. Calling out the ways we are living that are not in accordance with the equal love inside of us offers us a fresh start to make choices that will reflect this innate love.
To see myself in the mirror, on a photo or video of me is always a reflection that surprises me as to get to see and feel me from the outside as an observer of myself and match that with how I fee from inside is an interesting and honest process. It often opens my eyes for what I can try to hide from myself inside, but it is anyway most visible for everyone else in how I look, move and feel and so for me in the mirror. It is a moment of honesty and then choice, the choice to honour myself and deepen my quality of presence or to continue ignoring and basically abandon myself. Not that a mirror is needed for such choice but it helps to face truth.
Like you say Alex, there is a root behaviour of trying to avoid seeing how we are truly living… and yet it is plain to see to those around us. A pause in the mirror to see how we are truly living can be exposing, and similarly an opportunity to appreciate ourselves.
I like that, Alex, and agree that there is a moment of choice – to take responsibility for how I have been living that is now so obviously being reflected back to me in the mirror, or to look at myself in a superficial way that avoids what is really going on. So looking in the mirror is an opportunity to truly meet myself and deepen the connection.
I love how you have expressed this Alex, I have started appreciating looking at photos of myself now too as well as mirrors and getting to know myself as an observer of me. As you say, “It is a moment of honesty and then choice, the choice to honour myself and deepen my quality of presence or to continue ignoring and basically abandon myself.” It does help to face the truth.
Yes Alex I can sometimes get surprised by photos of myself or my reflection starting back at me. As you describe, its because I think I’m hiding things well, but in fact they are very obviously visible. I’m coming round to seeing mirrors as a useful tool to check in with myself, a way to get honest, rather than something to avoid.
Thank you Nicole, I really loved your blog and all the comments that followed. I am still smiling. I have a number of mirrors in my home, which my friend pointed out the other day, I was so surprised,and it brought me back to realise that the only one I look into, is in the bathroom. I had been getting used to looking at myself, just briefly, but lately had forgotten to do this, so great to have the reminder to look into my eyes, and enjoy my own beauty shining out.
Hi Nicole I very much relate to what you are saying. When I was younger I did not like what I saw in the mirror but these days I absolutely love it and love to look at myself!
Very much relate to that Nicola, I too avoided looking at myself in the mirror these days I can’t get enough of it !
When I was younger I wanted to hide from mirrors! I didn’t like them in change rooms and I certainly didn’t want too many in my house. I too had a sadness I wanted to escape from feeling.
BUT, nowadays I love seeing my sexy, sacred self in every reflection I come across and want more and more of it as I embrace my reflection as a confirmation of the divinity that I am and that I bring to the world.
More mirrors I say!
I have noticed recently how I appreciate myself when I look into my eyes in the mirror. It happens effortlessly now and I can relate to what you have shared Nicole, it wasn’t always this way. As an elder can I urge young women to not waste a day, a moment, an opportunity to look at themselves lovingly whenever there is a mirror in the room.
Hello Bernadette, can I join you in urging young women to not waste a day, a moment, or an opportunity to truly see and appreciate themselves.
I love how you unfolded your beauty again, Nicole. I know about the commitment it takes to get there. And it is deeply appreciated to have that reflected back to me.
I had to smile reading this this morning because of what happened for me yesterday morning. I was in my bathroom combing my hair before going to work, it had been raining heavily and my hair was wild and frizzy, curly looking, as it sometimes gets with the dampness. I thought, “how am I going to tame this?” Then I really looked at myself, into my eyes and my whole face to see that in fact my hair looked perfect for the way I felt, my eyes were shining and playful from laughing about my crazy hair, and I felt a burst of love for me just being me in that moment, it felt amazing. So, I didn’t tame my hair but let it be how it was. It and I felt beautiful that way and later lots of people commented on how amazing my hair and I looked which made me laugh even more from the joy of having gone deeper in letting myself be me as I am.
Jeanette I was smiling all over reading this, so beautiful to feel you in it, such joy. I know those moments of big hair days; I have a lot of those:).
Just great, the way you didn’t fall for your own worn out story of judging how you looked but went with how you felt inside; and then you even got it confirmed from others – it doesn’t get much better than this and shows up the old limitations and our prejudices against ourselves.
Yes Gabriele, that worn out story is so yesterdays news!
I came home from work earlier this week achy and heavy, with a cough and runny nose. I had a sleep and then felt that what my body really needed was a gentle walk, the last thing I would normally do if I had come home sick. I would normally think “I should stay in bed”. I wrapped up well and went for the walk and found that the heaviness in my body dissolved very quickly as I walked and I actually felt very light and loose, arriving home feeling revitalised. I find that often what I think I should do does not match up with what my body yearns for. These days I am listening more and more to what is asked for below the neck and not so much to the dictator who lives above it!
I love what you have shared Jeanette. We can so easily make a judgment on what it is that we see, without checking in with what we are feeling. How lovely that you just let your hair be as it was highlighting your natural playfulness, which you obviously took in bucket loads to your day.
It’s a beautiful thing to look into the mirror and connect to the essence of myself through my eyes, and to appreciate all that I am. It doesn’t happen every day, but the more I nurture myself with loving appreciation the more my essence is there for me to see, feel and connect to.
Feels so yummy, the look at oneself in the mirror and the confirmation from within, that can be seen as a glow in the eyes.
Putting ourselves in front of a mirror could bring reflections of various kinds:
Of our façades, of our fantasies, of our desires, of our putting ups. How many times do we look at ourselves differently of the way of looking that we are so familiar with (as if we were looking at someone else). How many times, do we look at the mirror in search of ourselves? How many times do we allow ourselves to be seen (even by us alone)? One thing is for sure, when we are open and still and look ourselves, time stops.
Interesting questions you raise emfeldman. I don’t often look at myself in the mirror apart from to check my clothing or when putting on makeup. Its something I am going to have a go at more, because it feels like I’m missing out on a simple and regular opportunity to connect with myself.
Deeply exposing of why many struggle with their own reflection and truly inspiring for showing us how it should truly be. With your commitment to self-acceptance and the expansion of the gorgeous woman you are leading you to enjoy your true reflection, this was just a pleasure to read.
Mirrors bring up much and I can very much relate here to this article, as you say Samantha deeply exposing. What I have experienced over the years is that you can like yourself in the mirror when your make-up is complete and you have groomed yourself but what about when you have not, what about when you have no make-up on whatsoever! This has been a huge factor in re-connecting to my essence and seeing me for who I really am rather then what I think or how I had been living.
It was after the course “Sacred Esoteric Healing Level 4” that I had my mirror revelation. I loved looking in my eyes so much that I got intimidated for a moment: “Am I allowed to adore me so much?” Society nowadays teaches us: no, don’t be arrogant, don’t show off etc. But that is all false and has its roots in jealousy. I now don’t miss a day adoring me. With this naturally comes to truly adore others as well.
Beautifully expressed Felix, and so true.
Looking in the mirror and seeing my own beauty is deeply satisfying and confirming.
It is very satisfying and confirming for me too Esther. I feel joy every single time I see my beauty looking back at me in the mirror, and at the thought that other people get to experience this love too through my eyes.
Sometimes I look in the mirror and I’m shocked ” have I really been going around with that? ” it’s a certain look in my eyes and I go, oh geez I haven’t been with myself. And then sometimes I walk past the mirror like ” hey you sexy thing” . It’s a great marker for how we are
Hi harryjwhite, yes I’m realising that how I live my life away from the mirror will then be reflected in what I see when I do look in the mirror, If I even care to look in the mirror in the first place.
I looked at myself in the mirror this morning and while I walked away I said to myself: wow, I look really beautiful. It is these moments, intimate moments with ourselves, that are so important. Every day should have moments like this, where we cherish, adore, love and appreciate ourselves.
I agree Mariette, cherishing, adoring, loving and appreciating ourselves should be a daily ritual like brushing our teeth or hair, or eating and sleeping.
Absolutely and it feels like a self healing ritual, nourishing our innermost, the connection with our soul.
Haha awesome Ariana, I am actually still surprised that my mirror is still in one piece….
Wow Ariana I think your gorgeousness just melted my laptop. Awesome to feel. Thank you.
Love it Ariana. One inspiring hot, sizzling and smokin woman.
Awesome claiming Ariana. A great reminder to appreciate the gorgeousness and awesomeness and infinite love that we all come from within.
What an absolute inspiration you are Ariana, I couldn’t help but smile at your comment. By expressing your truth so openly and beautifully you have given me permission to see and feel the true extent of my own gorgeousness. I may just keep a fire extinguisher handy to the mirror from now on!
Gorgeous Ariana, the mirror able to hold your gorgeousness without bursting into flames is a fiery mirror indeed! Its awesome when we look in the mirror and see the love and delicateness we have been treating ourselves with reflected back to us. Keep smokin’ it up for the world Ariana, it sure needs more stunners like you 🙂
And you know what, Ariana? I really believe you! I believe you that you love yourself so much that your gorgeousness is bursting your mirror! It puts a big smile on my face.
I love it Ariana. Awesomely claimed. The love and care that you hold yourself in to be shared with all, to enjoy. Gorgeous.
Ariana what a ripple effect your profound and fiery comment has for us all. Your deep appreciation of the love and gorgeousness you feel for yourself cannot but inspire and fire us all up with the awareness that if you can care for yourself in such a way that allows you to feel this divine way, then so can we.
Inspired by your blog and Natalie Benhayon speaking at a retreat, I am enjoying looking into my eyes with love and a smile. Thank you Nicole.
Very inspiring Nicole. I love how you describe the way kids look in the mirror.. they totally admire themselves. I will be checking to see if I am doing the same from now on! Thank you for sharing this experience with us, it feels like a very important part of our relationship with ourselves, seeing and knowing how absolutely gorgeous we are.
‘There was no admiration or adoration of myself. I would look in a mirror and not liking what I saw …..’ Unfortunately that has also been a very strong pattern for me to. It’s as though I always expected myself to look different to how I am. I was never good enough, setting these ridiculous expectations meant I was always feeling bad about myself. Recently I’ve been asking myself, why isn’t it enough for me to look the way I am, to just embrace that in full and enjoy the yumminess of me being me. No perfection, just an acceptance and appreciation of my own loveliness and beauty. My fingers danced over the keyboard, very lightly, as I typed those last words.
Thank you Nicole. As I read your beautiful words memories resurfaced of the years I spent working in clothing shops. I was surrounded by mirrors all day every day and I remember feeling like I was in a mirror torture chamber.
It felt awful to be confronted with my own reflection and many others expressed the same. The mirrors in the store felt like they were full of the self loathing of many thousands of women not living true to themselves and allowing their natural beauty out. I can absolutely feel what an incredible difference it makes to gaze at your own reflection with nothing but love.
Just gorgeous Nicole, I love this line “I now live each day appreciating the woman I am, continuing my expansion of self for all the world to see.”
Thank you Nicole. Before attending presentations by Serge Benhayon I only used a mirror to look for what was wrong and so came away feeling less about myself. By connecting to the love within me that I was hiding from I now look into my eyes in a mirror and see the woman I truly am and know the truth of the love that is in me and all others equally.
Having just attended the Lennox Head Retreat (in April 2015), we are all (yes, men and women and young and old) going to get more mirrors, aren’t we? The only question is how many!?
Your blog Nicole is quite inspiring to take the time to linger longer and get a feel for what I see looking back at me. It’s not something I have really done much of – looking in the mirror at myself to feel my connection or to appreciate my beauty. Mostly it is for a practical reason to look in the mirror. Considering this idea, it brings up feelings from the past of vanity & being uncomfortable to look in the mirror to admire myself. I look forward to what comes up next when looking in the mirror. Thank you for sharing your experience Nicole.
An amazing blog Nicole. I can feel that the way I have been looking in the mirror has been very functional. I have a new perspective for looking at my reflection in the mirror now and look forward to unfolding a new appreciation for myself.
Letting the glorious woman shine out is a sight to behold.
Beautiful blog Nicole, I have experienced a time in which I was always criticising myself when looking in the mirror, not truly seeing who I am but only looking at what I thought made me less than anybody else. But now when I see myself I think, what an awesome man!
Nicole, you’re commitment to self and appreciation for your own beauty is very palpable. Thank you for being the amazing you and sharing it with the world.
A truly beautiful article just lovely.
I would avoid looking in the mirror, especially a full length one. I now begin to see the true women that is reflected back to me, although often I can get caught up in the what is not so great. These days I am clocking this and realise this doesn’t serve me, or anyone else, so instead appreciate what I can see – that is the inner beauty that we all have.
Nicole I too would look at myself in the mirror but not truly receive and see the really beauty and essence I held within. I am now starting to change this long held pattern and truly appreciate and accept me for me.
Thank you Nicole for your beautiful expression and reflection.
I loved reading this blog Nicole, it is for women and men of all ages. For me as an older woman, I am inspired to keep deepening my connection to myself, with moments in front of the mirror, seeing who I truly am when I look deeply into my eyes.
Nicole what a beautiful post, it had me smiling all the way. So true about the baby and the way they stare – with wonderment – at themselves, fascinated and curious by what they see. I love watching them do this too, the ease with which they are with themselves, and gentleness they hold in the body, it’s very honouring to feel this quality that they reflect back to us as adults. They are our ‘mirror’. We are theirs.
Imagine this article in “ Hello” or “Women’s Day”. Possibly underneath one of the fashion show photographic shoots. Imagine women everywhere being given the opportunity to feel the truth in this article, and to start to feel what will be like to let go of the hurts and to feel who they truly were. What a gift this would be.
Nicole everything reflects our relationship with our self, including the way that we look in the mirror. When everyone’s relationship with themselves returns to being love then so too will the world be returned to love.
‘With the hurts falling away and the real me shining through, why would I not want to stop, and looking in a mirror, see a true reflection of glorious me.’ It is great to have those stop moments to confirm who we truly are and how we shine from inside out. It amazes me how much joy I can have seeing my reflection in a mirror.
Nicole it’s so true what you have shared about taking a moment to deeply appreciate our true reflection. Just at work yesterday, I enjoyed one of those moments as I felt beautiful I am as a 54 year old woman. This was something I felt from inside of me and at times blows me away that I can feel like that after years of hating the way I looked. Like you the support of Serge as well as Natalie Benhayon has been instrumental is this turn around.
Glorious Nicole. I love all that you’ve shared and its realness…
I’ve also found a ‘changing relationship’ with my reflection, and my approach to it… These days I allow a pause, to acknowledge ‘me’ – this always begins with looking deeply into my own eyes.
I’ll most surely be appreciating more and more of me each time I look in the mirror all the more from reading this beautiful blog.
Thank you Nicole, as you say the process of ‘true transformation’ becomes apart of self–love, self–nurturing and embracing the true essence of the real person inside. That reflection becomes one that feels like the true me and is felt by others as a true inspiration, exactly the same as the presentations of Serge Benhayon have inspired so many.
Wow Nicole I feel so inspired by your words and could feel your beauty shining through them. I too have been someone who avoids mirrors, really not wanting to see what was reflected back, but what you have expressed has me feeling it might be time to begin to look deeper. There is so much beauty within us and I have noticed that the times I do sit and really see myself I am often blown away by what I see. I feel taking this time for ourselves, really appreciating who we are could, as you’ve experienced, make a great difference to how we live and express ourselves in life.
Rereading this blog was much fun- Since the first read I was taking my focus to how I look in the mirror and it changed. I stop more now and really look in my eyes and not what doesn’t look perfect that day. It’s still a developement and I am looking forward to read the blog for the third time and share my experience.
I have been looking at my eyes more in the mirror, pausing to see what they reflect. And there is an honesty there, sometimes they are a bit flat or washed out and I can match that to how my body feel. Other times they are clear and bright. Such a simple thing to pause and take stock… a big improvement on avoiding how I am feeling.
Yes Steffi, I too am now looking differently at myself in the mirror. I realised I wasn’t truly allowing myself to see the depth of beauty that resides within my soul. It can be seen through my eyes, in my reflection. It is in giving myself time to appreciate and truly connect that a radiance is ignited within. It is like a warm glow that lights up and shows who I truly am. Perhaps as I develop this new relationship with my reflection the warm glow will spark into a steady fire within!
Thank you Nicole, I can feel the importance of having a true reflection and as this blog unfolded for me I also felt that the true importance of our forever deepening connection to self! By self I mean that which is our inner most, the love that is naturally within us all equally. So for me it has become a choice to not just look into the mirror to see a visual reflection, but to also look into my inner heart and see where I am holding back love. I feel blessed to have attended the presentations of Serge Benhayon. Serge has provided the inspiration for me to have a Livingness so that I can feel my connection to love.
Dear Nicole,
I love how you explain that it hurt to look in the mirror and see there the sadness of not living you. I too know that feeling. It truly is amazing how we pull away more and more from ourselves, wanting to protect ourselves from the hurt that others do to us. Yet the hurt of not living us in full is far greater than any hurt another can do to us. As I live each day this truth is being revealed to me more and more. My body immediately feels sore when I pull away from it. This reality for me is my barometer, truly supporting me in each moment to be the full, open loving woman I am.
A great article Nicole. I too have often in the past not looked in the mirror to truly appreciate who I am, but rather to see if I look OK to face the world, or to ask if my mask is sitting right so as to only show people what I want to show them. Your writing opens us up to how important it is to truly accept myself and appreciate where I am at and how far I have come.
This is a great reminder to use the mirror to truly look and appreciate ourselves for, as you so beautifully wrote, “The pain of living in the shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.”
Thank you Nicole.
“The pain of living in the shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.” I agree Peter, this is a powerful sentence in this blog. It is so strange how we spend our life hurting ourselves and therefore others, forever fooling ourselves that we are protecting ourselves from being hurt in the first place.
Thank you Nicole, a wake up call to self-nurture and to bring a deeper level of awareness that I require to self-nurture. The Inspirational living of Serge Benhayon is forever unfolding to me, so as a student my evolution becomes of my own making.
This is so relevant to me Nicole as I have (at 42yo late bloomer) just started appreciating and accepting how incredible I am and enjoy seeing this in my reflection, instead of using the mirror to check that all the things I wanted to hide from the world were all in place.
Until not too long ago, I realised that I have always used a mirror to highlight what is wrong and to confirm that I was not enough and had more work to do. I was totally sold out to the idea of perfection…not overtly, because I didn’t doll myself up or anything like that…but there was this underlying idea about how my skin, my body, my weight, my hair should be in order for me to feel ok about myself. Now I can feel how much tension this was creating just in every day life! Since building an inner relationship with myself, looking in the mirror is more often a joy, sometimes I even find myself doing another lap of the house to get back to the mirror. Yet also, when I’m not feeling so great, my reflection is simply an opportunity to ask myself ‘what is going on…you don’t seem yourself today?’…rather than the all to familiar berating, which is such a welcome and much more loving change.
I used to look in the mirror to look for the things that were not right with me, the flaws, so I could work out how to fix or conceal them.It took me a long time to be able to look into the mirror without seeing all theses things first. While I can’t say that I still don’t notice them, it is not all the time and the times I do are an opportunity to stop and ask myself what happened. What happened to my connection and self love that I do not see how beautiful I am first? The mirror has become a great gauge for me now as to how I am truly feeling about myself.
You made me ask myself how many times have I looked in the mirror not admiring and adoring myself – looking at the clothes and what I saw in the mirror, but not the person under the clothes with appreciation and connection. It has been like that for so long, or even worse as totally disliking what I saw, that when I started to feel lovely and connected when looking at myself in the mirror, I was so shocked that I had to share it with my friends! – “you know, I love the way I feel when I’m looking the mirror, I like it” – It is new, it is great, and I feel grateful.
Thank you Nicole, looking in the mirror has been a great learning for me too. I noticed that I do not like to look in the mirror on days or moments that I do not feel so good about myself, it is like I then see all the ugly feelings inside. I now take extra notice on when I feel like that, because I know I am deeply beautiful inside, and then have a little longer stare in my beautiful eyes which most of the time melts away the harsh feelings I had about myself and I am able to see and feel my true beauty again. Mirrors are such miraculous things.
Hi Nicole. Awesome blog.
Bringing our beauty in its FULLNESS out to be felt and seen is sometimes uncomfortable, at first, because we have been hiding in the shadows for so long. But once we let go of the hurts and begin to step into the light then the DElight we get with seeing our magnificent eyes and what lies beneath them can be celebrated.
I love what you have written here Kathryn. You exposed something to me. I realised that I had thought I reached the stage of accepting my reflection, as you beautifully put… “seeing our magnificent eyes and what lies beneath them…” but that I am still shy to look fully and deeply into the mirror in a crowded ladies room. I then realised that acceptance does not travel in parts, only in private and never in public, and although I have come a long way from self depreciation there is always further to come… the full celebration of “what lies beneath… our magnificent eyes”.
This blog would be true for so many people. I’ve noticed that the time I spend truly connecting to myself in the mirror really reflects where I am at with my relationship with myself – am I in acceptance of myself, appreciating and revelling in me? Or am I judging myself and rejecting who I am by focusing on small details, being critical, and squashing myself? A mirror is a great reminder to check in with the self and a wonderful tool for connection and appreciation.
Thank you Nicole. It can be very confronting to truly look in a mirror. Not something that I am comfortable with yet. I can see the increase in self acceptance and self love that is required to truly look in a mirror and appreciate the person looking back.
I love your sentence on the way a child looks in the mirror – it is so true and so inspiring to watch them look at themselves. When my son was a baby I had a mirror permanently on the floor and he would crawl over to it and spend hours looking at himself admiring what he saw. I used to look in the mirror and could only see what was “wrong”. I went in looking for what I didn’t like. I have slowly been able to shift that but the focus is still on my body and not on me. A Universal Medicine practitioner I used to see often encouraged me to look in the mirror after I got off the table and I was always amazed to see what I truly looked like. I recently committed to self-appreciation and each night before bed I look at me in the mirror and appreciate myself. This has exposed how little I look in the mirror and actually see me.
I loved reading your blog Nicole, I am learning to appreciate me and express me more and more each day. To connect back to my beauty without judgement or comparison, to love and appreciate my reflection in the mirror.
….’The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me’. Wow!!! Thank you for sharing this Nicole and inspiring me to look at myself in the mirror in a whole different way.
Thank you Nicole, this inspires me to spend more time looking at Me in the mirror. Something so simple, yet overlooked all too often.
Thanks Nicole for your awesome sharing. I too went through a period of years of not being able to look at my reflection at all , I am only recently taking a good look and seeing a strong tender man who has aged but is shining bright with open heart, well worth the look.
How beautiful to hear a man talk about himself with such admiration, I would have to agree that you are well worth looking at PaulMoses39 for all the shining bright reasons you mention above but also the fact that you are classically handsome.
A belief that said: looking at myself in the mirror = vanity = bad – stayed with me so long, and to look at myself in the mirror when there were other women around, used to bring up uncomfortable feelings. I can understand now it was not just about that belief, there was also undertone of comparison and the lack of self-worth played out in various behaviours and attitude of women standing in front of the mirror that was bringing the sense of awkwardness. When looking at myself in the mirror is experienced as connecting with myself and adoring the reflection, it is very different, and that I enjoy.
Years ago I only looked into the mirror to see if I was presentable to the world and I was never really that happy with what I would see, but these days I am having a different relationship with the mirror and am finding that taking the time to look into my own eyes is very powerful. I find that my thoughts can change from being disinterested to really engaging in no time. Thank you for the inspiration to do this more often.
Nicole, I love what you write about seeing yourself in the mirror, I really appreciate myself when I look into the mirror, and look in my beautiful eyes and feel me, within. I have noticed it is another story when I am in a shop and I am trying on new clothes or shoes and the shop assistant is watching me. I still tend to focus how the clothes or shoes are and not the complete reflection of the gorgeous me in it, but it is wonderful work in progress!
I feel inspired to make more time for looking in the mirror in the morning…thank you for the inspiration.
What a beautiful blog, Nicole. I love how you write: ‘I have been nurturing, embracing and loving the person I am – without any expectations or comparisons to another.’ I can relate to the last part especially. If I do things with a wish for a certain outcome – in this case to look more beautiful of more relaxed – it doesn’t work. There is a drive and a need under it, then influencing the whole process and it blocks the unfolding of myself. The same with comparison: if I try to nurture in comparison I start from a’ feeling less than another’ and this taints everything I do. Others can inspire me and it feels like a celebration of another woman, YOU in this case, in the sharing of her experience; this is such a inviting way for me to keep deepening my beauty and reflection.
As a hair dresser myself I can very much relate to you Nicole and how one can work in front of a mirror everyday and yet not look or appreciate oneself, and yet I am discovering that mirrors can be used as a great reference point and can give you a great reflection on how you are and what is really going on – so my relationship with a mirror is very much starting to change; I now look in the mirror to confirm how I feel or to connect to myself again.
Inspiring blog, I have from time to time caught sight of the beauty in my eyes for example but I have not really considered making a true connection with my reflection in the mirror. Thanks for the inspiration!
I have discovered looking in a mirror to enjoy a true reflection is gorgeous. When I am feeling good I can look at the loveliness of me as a confirmation of how I feel and I really enjoy my reflection. When I am not feeling good it’s quite unbelievable the self-criticism that can ensue! And what I realise is very simple, the feeling good or not feeling good comes from the choices I have made from the day.
To begin to truly meet ourselves in the mirror – how glorious is that.
Lovely blog. Never thought about when looking in a mirror, there were two sides one could see. The one that was the real me, being happy in myself, loving and a caring person.
The other side at times, feeling not so loving and caring. I have now started to love myself more and to see the real me in the mirror. The mirror now has only one side.
Your blog has opened a door for me, Nicole. I’m now realising that in a way I have grown accustomed to my sadness, the shadow of who I truly am and that I have found a strange beauty in that. Yet I feel you are right when you say you didn’t like what you saw because you could feel the hurt that came with it and that you were hiding behind it.
These are amazing words: “The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was, hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.” How true that we are our own greatest downfall and the mirror can only but reflect what we live. I have been a mirror gazer since a child, always fascinated by my own beauty and often wondered why others couldn’t see it! And though, on the surface I am ‘attractive’ and have had lots of attention in regards to that, it can’t hide the sadness of not feeling truly met and loved for the awesome gloriousness I am. And no wonder, when I have hidden it so well.
How incredible to finally begin taking responsibility and how beautiful the reflection truly is when we step out of our own shadow. Thank-you so much for writing this, Nicole.
I have had the experience of looking deep into my own eyes and feeling a sense of strength from within me, I couldn’t help but smile in that moment. This is completely different from what I have, for the majority of ‘mirror time’ focused on. I can now appreciate that by choice I can see past the dark circles under my eyes and focus on that depth from within my eyes. And this can be my new relationship with my ‘mirror time’.
Thank you Nicole, a beautiful blog and a great reminder to really appreciate the women we see when we look into a mirror. That beautiful experience in the moment of reflection is magical.
Great blog Nicole, I love how you have presented that it is about appreciating ourselves that makes the difference when looking in the mirror, not “plastic surgery, wonder pills or diets”. One quote that stood out for me was “the pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me” – if this is so, then it means that there is no need to live in that ‘shadow’ any more.
Isn’t it amazing to take the time to stop and appreciate yourself. Similar to when taking the time to stop and gently breath, you can’t help but let go of any tension within. It becomes a celebration of you.
I love the simplicity of this article, your story inspires me to give my ‘self’ a moment, a moment to enjoy my reflection rather than the usual casual glance checking hair/makeup etc -thank you Nicole
Incredible how one comment can lead you on a journey of discovery and exploration. How an everyday household item with a specific purpose is not used as such. We manipulate what we have to suit us without realizing what we are doing.
It is a process to start to appreciate yourself and all that you are. Many people, if not most, have issues with looking at themselves, truly, in the mirror or at photographs of themselves. We have been taught to look for the ‘imperfections’, the ‘bits’ that are ‘wrong’, instead of looking deep into and at all the beauty that is there.
Thank you Nicole, for a beautiful and inspiring blog.
Beautiful blog Nicole and very inspiring. Only the other day I stood in front of the mirror and just looked at me, and mainly my eyes. It was probably only for about 30 seconds but felt a lifetime as I have never wanted to look that deep before. It felt great to appreciate me and how much I have changed. Thank you for sharing.
I love your comment Tim, and it is beautiful how, now you are appreciating you.
This is a very thought-provoking blog Nicole. As a man, I have to use the mirror
for shaving every morning and one has to be present as otherwise the consequences
don’t bear thinking about!
The image one sees is laterally inverted and thus not what the world sees.
It seems to me that this gives one a quiet moment of ‘true reflection’, in the internal sense.
Most of the time I’m only looking in the mirror to check I haven’t tucked my dress into my knickers. I have been inspired to take a longer deeper look at the woman I see looking back at me.
As you say, the key is what am I looking at? What the world might see? Or the true me? I thought I looked…but your blog has inspired me to take a longer, deeper look – thank you.
Elizabeth, Your experience of your mom being uncomfortable with you, as a child enjoying your reflection is powerful…we get told in so many ways ‘not to love ourselves’!
I have certainly felt the truth of the quote “The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.”
Now, we can make a different choice. SO helpful now that there are more examples around of a loving way to see and be with ourselves. Thank you Nicole! No longer will the world miss out on us!
Another great blog Nicole. I shall definitley remember this as I look in the mirror as I know that many a time (if not all the time) I am looking to see how I look to the world and not really to enjoy the beautiful reflection of ‘glorious me’. In fact I shall go and take a look right now. Thank you.
My first memory of mirror gazing was when I was about eight or nine and my Mum saying to me ” if you spend any more time in front of that mirror it will crack” When I grew up the only time I looked in a mirror was to check that all was in order with my appearance at the start of the day or when I was putting on make-up or drying my hair. Now a days I have found that since accepting and appreciating myself more I just love seeing my reflection in mirrors whether at home or when I am out shopping.. Thank you Nicole for inspiring me to reflect on my journey with mirrors.
This is amazing Nicole, what struck me is I don’t have any trouble seeing my beauty, but really, truly feeling it, and really truly appreciating it, I can feel is something I do not give enough importance too. It’s definitely time for some deeper appreciation!
“Not unlike what can be observed when a child looks at themselves in the mirror… you can see the way they admire and adore themselves with each and every glance.”
I love this sentence, it sums up the very essence of what you are talking about, and paints the picture very well. We have all seen a child study themselves before a mirror, it is beautiful and inquisitive. I will hold this picture for it is very joyful and playful too.
Yes the mirror is a great way to welcome more acceptance and appreciation of ourselves. it has especially shown me how serious i can be and just by staying with my reflection and allowing myself to express how i feel in the moment I lighten the supposed burdens I have given myself to carry and bring more light and playfullness with me into my day.
Thank you Nicole for writing this. This is a really important topic to write on as so many of us have an issue with how we look and accepting ourselves. The way we look or don’t look in the mirror is always a sign of how we view ourselves. I too have found that as I accept myself more I am able to be still in front of the mirror and not have as many negative thoughts. It’s interesting that if I have been down and hard on myself, when I look in the mirror I see many faults, whereas when I have been appreciating and enjoying who I am there’s a light that shines from me and a glow and I can only think “Wow” Let’s keep looking in the mirror.
“Not unlike what can be observed when a child looks at themselves in the mirror… you can see the way they admire and adore themselves with each and every glance.” we have so much to learn from young children, and they do love and adore themselves, so it is just a path of return for us all back to how we started out before we started covering up for what ever hurt or reason. Makes it all that much simpler somehow! Thanks again for this Nicole it was a great re read.
I Loved reading your article Nicole. In my experience the mirror can be my worst enemy when I am focusing only on imperfections and looks. Your article is an inspiration to look at myself differently in the mirror!
I agree Priscila, I have found it all too easy to focus on my flaws and imperfection rather than seeing the beauty staring back at me. Thank you Nicole for the inspiring article.
“I did not like what I saw – what I was looking at was not me and it hurt. The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.” Gosh. That has struck such a cord with me.
This is beautiful to read and inspiring how a mirror can be so revealing when we really stop and are open to feel what’s seen. In the past I too have used the mirror to check my clothes or hair never looking at the body inside. However now it is great to feel the reflection of what comes back and appreciate this can be a great support and marker. Thank you, Nicole.
A beautiful sharing Nicole!
Thank you Nicole, I love your blog. I have also started looking in the mirror and seeing my true beauty, sometimes I say wow because I look so beautiful. Previous to this I had only ever glanced in the mirror and didn’t like what I saw. Now admiring and appreciating myself in the mirror is part of my daily rhythm.
Thank you Nicole for the gentle reminder about the reflection that is offered to us when we look in the mirror. Like Caroline you have inspired me to take another look.
That’s a gorgeous blog Nicole, I didn’t have a mirror for 7 years! I remember when I first realised that I too never looked at myself it was about 2 and half years ago at one of the first women’s groups in London – someone talked about looking in the mirror, and I was perplexed as I suddenly thought I just NEVER do that. So like you I have slowly been getting to the deeper truth of why this was, and as you describe so beautifully it was that I didn’t want the reflection of what I was choosing, I wanted to remain oblivious. I too am very pleased to report I lovingly gaze on myself in the mornings to do my makeup at my dresser, with all my brushes and fun make up to support my expression. I love it, I love spending time with me in this way and deepening the quality of loving myself and appreciating myself. It’s definitely a road worth taking. I too a, deeply inspired by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine!
Awesome Nicole, and what a reflection to your clients, being able to look in the mirror and see your beauty, and therefore see it in them too – inspirational!
I love your blog Nicole. It brought back to me an event that occurred a few years ago. I was in the anguish of not dealing with an issue that had been there for eons for me to look at, and walking past a mirror I received a shock at what I saw. I stopped and looked into my own eyes and found myself saying out loud “I don’t even know who you are.” What was looking back at me was completely loveless. I made the choice that I didn’t want that person in my life and I haven’t seen them since. Looking in the mirror is now a great marker for how I really am.
Great point Doug – I’ve never spent much time appreciating myself, but in particular if I’m not doing well then I will avoid the mirror.. perhaps hoping that in some way I won’t see what I’m choosing. Nicole’s blog is a great reminder to develop a relationship with myself and the mirror provides such a simple reflection.
Looking at ourselves in the mirror also gives us a ‘stop’ moment in whatever we have been doing and provides an opportunity to deeply appreciate who we are. I usually take the time first thing in the day to feel and see where I’m at and definitely as I prepare for bed. I can now see there are more opportunities to create moments during the day to see me and what I am reflecting to the world rather than automatically walking past the mirror because the room is crowded, time is short and we’re all due back to class.
So awesome Nicole. I can totally relate. Since enjoying and appreciating my reflection in the mirror I have also realised that the superficial glances that I use to scan myself with, my clothes, my face with, were actually the way that I was looking at others in the street, at gatherings or get togethers. The more I enjoyed myself, my reflection and the glow that emanates from me deep within – the more I could truly look to others and see their absolute beauty. Truer connections.
Ahhh this is beautiful Nicole and a real inspiration to accept ourselves as we are. I shall take this with me next time I look in the mirror.
Nicole, this is Gold, I too have been practising the mirror thing and starting to truly embrace all that I see. Gazing into my own eyes, seeing the incredible tenderness and love is divine. I can totally relate to your statement… “The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.”
Holding ourselves unworthy of the greatness within us is the most painful hurt of all! Thank you for sharing this most inspiring blog.
This is truly awesome and very inspiring, Nicole. I have done not just years but decades of just glancing in the mirror and only recently have I made some minor adjustments. Your blog has inspired me to actually look, connect and appreciate and I am looking forward to how very revealing and great this will be.
Thank you for this reflection, Nicole (pun intended!) – you explained so simply why so many of us hate looking in the mirror (and, similarly, hate having our photos taken). I have taken to looking at myself in the mirror sometimes and saying “hello gorgeous” – and watch my eyes light up. It is so simple; yet so powerful. My students and I have done this in my (exercise) classes too – when something comes up in the class around self-esteem, I suggest it. It is amazing the resistance from many to do this – but, oh, the joy when they do!
Beautiful to read Nicole, thank you for your honesty. I am enjoying being able to really appreciate myself in the mirror more and more each day…. and just how far I have come in my own inner healing experience.
I love this reflection Nicole! What a way to appreciate ourselves and I too can feel myself being ‘caught in the mirror’ with a choice to appreciate or take a glance, Thank you.
A reflection it is Bernadette, enjoy your reflection next time you look at your amazing self.
Really beautifully shared Nicole, yes I to want to look deeper in the reflection of the mirror.
I am sure you will love and embrace all you see Natalie.
Hi Nicole, Thank for sharing with such honesty your development and growth in something so simple as looking in the mirror that most of us do daily.
Recently I had a moment of true reflection. I had taken a moment for myself to purchase some shoes. I found the perfect pair much faster than I had expected so I decided to try on some clothes. In the past and as you shared, I have dreaded change rooms. I found the mirrors so large and confronting and it was the perfect situation for me to obsess and become critical about all the things I thought were “wrong” or “ugly” about my body. But this experience was so different. I loved looking at my body – every little bit! Even though some of the clothes didn’t fit me – I didn’t start going into the old “I’m so fat” story of my past, grabbing handfuls of my belly feeling disgusted and angry at myself – I just enjoyed every moment of being there being able to look at myself in appreciation of the care and love I now held for myself. I loved the big mirrors! And I actually stood in the change room with tears of joy, enjoying the clarity and truth in my eyes, and in my body.
You expressed it so well Nicole – the mirror is a simple yet perfect tool in developing self-acceptance. When I actually stop in front of a mirror and look at the reflection I can see what I am bringing of myself into the world and humanity.
Awesome Simone ~ feels like more trying on of clothes is in order to confirm the beautiful YOU.
Thank you Nicole, I really enjoyed reading this. It reminded me of what inspiring mirrors we can be for each other when we let our inner beauty shine out. 🙂
Soo true Fiona, a very important point to remember , thank you.
What timing, I love this so much, thank you Nicole.
Recently I have just started to have a relationship with the mirror and not just to quickly look to see if something is hanging from my face that shouldn’t be there. 🙂 It has been very challenging to stop and take the time and really look into my eyes. Sometimes I can appreciate how I feel and other times I just cannot. The mirror is constantly reflecting to me how I feel about myself.
A few days ago I was asked “my Gosh how long can you look in a mirror for?” For the first time ever I was able to reply ‘Forever’ with a huge grin on my face.
I appreciate this blog so much that inspires me to go deeper and deeper with my new developing relationship with the mirror. Thank you. 🙂
Too true Kim, looking in the mirror is awesome and we are truly amazing and inspiring, why wouldn’t we want to look at ourselves in the mirror.
Hi Nicole, Thank you for writing this. It is very inspiring, it feels like there is a light shining through in your writing which is very beautiful and also deeply healing to read. Reading all of your words each one meant so much. What really stood out for me was “The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me”. It made me realise there is more to me than I currently let myself see at the moment, especially when you have shared what this is like to really see and feel the true you.
Beautiful, thank you Vicky.
Beautiful Vicky – yes I can relate to this too – there is so much more.
Yes Vicky, I feel that there is also more to me than I currently let myself see.
I have loved re-reading this blog and scanning through and reading the comments Debra. It seems to me that there are many of us that have had to be reminded to see past what appears to look back at us from the mirror, but to choose to see the loving reflection, the essence that we truly are within. This is still a learning for me, and I am reminded of one of those really old heritage roses with it’s amazing frangrance that last forever in a crystal vase in the bedroom, it lasts and lasts, then the petals start to droop, the edges of the petals start to shrivel, the leaves start to fall – however, the fragrance of the essence of the flower is still evident even until the last petals have dropped forming a circle around the vase – occasionally I glimpse that essence when I fleetingly catch my image in a mirror. I especially feel the depth of Vicky’s words “The pain of living the shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts that the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.”
Absolutely Vicky, I feel there is so much more of me then I allow myself to connect too. Something to explore further.
I really relate to what you have shared Vicky… But step by loving step allowing more of me to shine through. There is so much more.
This is beautiful Nicole, thank you. Makes me want to look in the mirror and see what is there. Thank you again, Caroline.
Thank you Caroline. You are awesome and I am sure you will see that and so much more. Looking in the mirror is now fun and what we see are the beautiful and amazing women we are.