Recently I began a self-care experiment by going to bed at 9pm for 9 days. I had been inspired to do so by fellow students of Universal Medicine who had also done the same. I initiated this because I had recognised I had been tired for a long time: I would be feeling exhausted by the end of the day but then in the evening I noticed how I would easily become stimulated again and distracted from feeling the exhaustion… I would then get involved in doing something that would result in my going to bed later than I had planned.
I felt how making a commitment to going to bed on time had a direct effect on how I felt the next day.
I would feel much more vital and joyful. I had previously been wondering why I had been feeling so low and lacked any real interest during the day. Simply the fact of having more energy changed that around. I also loved the feeling of the commitment to myself, to care for myself and listen to my body’s signals.
A few days into my experiment I began to note that I started to be a little less consistent with going to bed on time. It was like the excitement of starting something new had faded and the initial improvements in my wellbeing and vitality were becoming ‘normal’.
Even though it was a great start to make a commitment to go to bed on time, I could feel that I also had to look at the way I was living during my day; it was not just about the fact that I did not sleep enough.
I realised that I could no longer live in a way that made me exhausted. I knew I had to develop a routine that honoured my body during my day – one that supported me to be ready for bed and not still be running with everything I had done that day.
In the past I would often ignore my body and override how I felt. This could be because I didn’t want to offend people or make them feel uncomfortable, or because I didn’t want to appear different, or simply because I chose to ‘push through’ to get things done and not listen to my body.
Recently I had planned to spend the day studying but then I got an email about a meeting. In the past I would just go to the meeting and override what I initially felt but this time I chose to honour my feelings and decided not to go.
Honouring this feeling made space to do what I really felt was needed that day, which was much more supportive for me, and for everyone.
That same day my dad asked me if I would like to go to the supermarket with him. I really enjoy spending time with my dad, but I could feel I actually needed some time doing the work I had planned. I had to make a seemingly difficult choice – I didn’t want to let my dad down but also did not want to override my own feelings.
I could feel how I didn’t want to make my dad feel lonely or rejected and that I had almost gone with him to not feel that. I talked about it with my dad and it turned out he was absolutely fine with going on his own.
At the end of the day, by virtue of not pleasing everyone throughout the day, I felt full of energy, but also very still and ready for bed. I deeply enjoyed the beauty and stillness I could feel in my body when I went to bed early – such a joy to do! When I woke up early the next morning, I still had that same exquisite feeling of stillness and vitality in my body… something I deeply enjoy.
I realise that I have been letting the outside world run my life for a long time. I would override my feelings and go with what everyone around me told me to do. By changing this behaviour I began to realise that I had learnt this as a child: I did not want to hurt anyone by following my own feelings, or by being amazing even if others were not feeling amazing etc. This made me feel uncomfortable!
Paying attention to these little feelings and honouring them is the key to staying with myself and feeling vital throughout my day.
I can now feel how choosing to live in a way that doesn’t honour my body makes me feel exhausted and tired, whereas living in a way that consistently honours my body and my feelings I have more energy to do whatever is needed. I can feel and appreciate how extremely self-empowering and self-caring it is to follow and honour my own feelings.
I am forever thankful for, and inspired by, the work of Serge Benhayon, Natalie Benhayon and Universal Medicine, who have presented the fact that life is about honouring our body, re-connecting to its innate wisdom and living from there.
by Lieke van Haastrecht, Student, Age 24, Ghent, Belgium
Further Reading:
Insomnia – My Sleep Disorder or My Daily Dis-order?
What’s All The Fuss About Self-Care?
Early to Bed, Early to Rise, Makes You Healthy, Wealthy, and Wise
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
Thanks for your reflection Lieke. It’s very beautiful to feel the sense of space and joy we have access when we trust and honour what we feel inside. It’s in the little signals, the first senses from which we can receive the insight of what’s needed in every moment. The mind is always trying to convince what’s the best but just in our body know what’s true.
Isn’t it interesting how we adjust ourselves for others. If every human is doing this, then its a no wonder we are all out of source and living in agitation. And I can resonate with this, until one day there comes a point that if we continue living for others becomes an exhaustion for the body.
Caring for yourself needs to come first and it isn’t selfish either. In an emergency during a resuscitation, accident, or incident, the first thing we do is check for danger. Why? So we don’t become the victim or casualty. So what is the difference in our everyday life then? We are placed with so many situations where we are pulled away from us, so this is no different.
If anything we can serve and be with people more when we are with ourselves. Try it and see how much energy you will have by taking care of yourselves first before another.
“At the end of the day, by virtue of not pleasing everyone throughout the day, I felt full of energy, but also very still and ready for bed. I deeply enjoyed the beauty and stillness I could feel in my body when I went to bed…”. Thank you Lieke, reading your words here I realised that the vitality and Stillness comes because we not fighting ourselves. Reading your blog today I can see that I need to deepen into honouring my feelings as placing others before me and pleasing others has crept in again, which is a form of disconnection to me.
At the end of the day learning to say no is healthy and honouring too. Countless times we can feel the impositions at work when we have our own responsibilities then to take on others. It is okay to say no and develop those healthy loving boundaries in our everyday lives too.
This is a great understanding to come to Lieke
“I realise that I have been letting the outside world run my life for a long time. I would override my feelings and go with what everyone around me told me to do.”
And I agree with you that we learn these behaviours as children and they become so familiar that by the time we get to adulthood they are second nature to us and we don’t not realise that we are living to other people’s ideals and beliefs and not what we feel to be.
Dancing to the tune of what we think others will think is exhausting.
A beautiful sharing of how exhausting it is to please others and how in that we are not rested at the end of our day … I recognise this so well and it’s asking me to consider how much life is about pleasing others and fitting in … definitely one to investigate.
A simple experiment such as going to bed by 9pm for 9 days is a great way to see how this benefits us and the quality of our sleep and also supports us throughout the day.
I can so relate to this blog have spent a lot of my life trying to make sure everyone else is ok and fitting myself around their schedules, seeking their approval and looking for their praise, and when I don’t get that approval or praise I can go into resentment, and the talk track begins, ‘don’t we know what I’ve ‘sacrificed’ for you?’, but it’s all a lie, for I’m not honouring myself and without that foundation nothing that comes after can be true. So it’s simple really come back to that honouring, and I’m unraveling those behaviours daily, and the more I do, the more true I am, and the simpler life is.
I love what you share Monica because this is how we feel! And yes the only way to actually get over these things is not demand it from the other but come back to ourselves and first and foremost be honest about what we have done, if we actually have honoured ourselves and then move from there, leaving the other to be themselves too.
Pleasing others at the expense of own well-being helps and supports no one.
Very true, because pleasing others does always have an effect on how we are, it is kind of poisoning ourselves, by fitting ourselves around other people. In return this means that others are getting less of us of what we truly can bring, which is actually the reflection they need. So we might think it is good for the other person when we please but in truth as you said it is not benefiting anyone.
Pleasing others is exhausting, ‘At the end of the day, by virtue of not pleasing everyone throughout the day, I felt full of energy, but also very still and ready for bed.’
Years ago I knew a boy that would put a stop to his playing outside and go into his flat early, and when I asked him about it he told me that he has to go to bed early otherwise he would be in a bad mood the next day. So he gladly went to bed so as not to be that way. This stuck with me and made total sense. Then later in my forties, I started going to bed when I was naturally tired which is between 8.30 – 9.30 and have found it to be beneficial to the way I feel the next day – so, it is about honouring the body and not overriding.
I love the sharing as it show true obedience to the body and how lovely it is to live this way. To become aware of something and then changing it accordingly without resistance just because we love ourselves and we love feeling great.
It is beautiful to honour our body, ‘I can now feel how choosing to live in a way that doesn’t honour my body makes me feel exhausted and tired, whereas living in a way that consistently honours my body and my feelings I have more energy to do whatever is needed. I can feel and appreciate how extremely self-empowering and self-caring it is to follow and honour my own feelings.’
This was great and inspiring for me to read as I have not made that commitment to me to consistently be in bed at 9pm every night but when I was reading this my body was saying YES I would like to do that. Also I love the truth that you shared in that it is not just about how we are before we go to bed but how we have lived during the day that counts and affects our sleep, this is something I never even contemplated (along with many other things) until knowing Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon. I love your honesty to in sharing how you were feeling throughout different times and it also goes to show how easy we can make assumptions about others like you did with your dad ‘I could feel how I didn’t want to make my dad feel lonely or rejected and that I had almost gone with him to not feel that.’ that simply are not true.
When we honour our body first by being true to our body we can then honour another truthfully as we are coming from a place of truth.
Just experienced that today. When I am loving with me I feel lovely in my body and then that is what others get to feel from me. It is so simple.
Being absolute honest regarding our early learnings and ways helps to undo how we learned to harm ourselves.
We can start with such great intentions but they can wane if there is no consideration of the ‘why’ we are doing something.
Wow it shows how if we start with looking honestly at one thing – ie the need to go to bed at 9:00pm – then so much more is presented to us to the point where we can feel what is truly behind the exhaustion. This is such an important sharing as it shows how the way we live is what exhausts us – and that our responsibility is to honour our bodies and look at what is coming up.
Very true HM – one step in honesty and truth can lead to an ever-deepening path to transparency.
Thank you Lieke, for it shows us how we have been prepared to give up our true senses by overriding it with images, thoughts, ideals and beliefs and investments and outcomes.. Hence we need to work ourselves back – by re-connecting to who we are, not what we do or think.
Amazing how when we focus on one aspect of our daily life and commit to bringing more care to that it opens up our awareness of other aspects of our life that need equal care and attention.
Yes and it is then easy to think that it is going not so well because there is suddenly so much to look at after making one change. But I am learning that this is how it is, the more we become aware the more there is to refine. That is actually natural and how we evolve out of patterns of unsupportive behavior more and more.
I know this to be true, and there still is an intention to go to bed early, but it has not been happening. If I was to say I disregard my body and instead make what is needed to be done more important – that is not a whole truth, because going to bed early naturally allows me to get up early and I can be just as productive. And I know it’s not really about what time I go to bed, there’s this feeling of incompletion I register that makes it harder to accept that my day is complete and now it is time for bed. What you say about how we spend our day is something I need to become more honest about, I feel.
I always love these moments. It is from these moments, when we really feel something needs to change that by just having this realisation and intention to look at it that we often naturally have it unfolding before us. That we realise bit by bit why it is the way it is and that we can bring change from there without push or drive.
Refining the relationship we have with our body never ends. There is never a one fix all, more a delicate and constant unfolding based on cycles and stages of life.
“I realise that I have been letting the outside world run my life for a long time”. A beautiful awakening Lieke. To live in connection to our inner essence is the way and from here we inspire others to be the same.
You mention that the way you put yourself to bed, that preciousness you feel, then welcomed you when you woke. I love that… so often the opposite plays out going to bed tired and funnily enough waking up in the same pit. This really highlights how important that winding down is in bringing a quality through into the next day.
Yes it is true Simon, we have the tendency that sleep is an ‘everything solver’ and that we can go to bed in whatever state and wake up refreshed the next morning but it does not work like that. It takes a whole way of living in our day and night to have a restful sleep with waking up vital.
Yes, that rhythm is our foundation and our early warning signal. When that wobbles there is something to look at and something that might be trying to fly below the radar.
I love what you share here about starting by doing something someone else had told you was a good idea and then found yourself wobbling. I have found the same. Whenever I do something because someone else said I can only manage it for a short while before I wobble. It has to be something I feel from my body – and as I write this I can feel my body has offered me the answer to why I have been wobbling on another commitment I have made, so thank you!
It is beautiful how this stays applicable to my life and how easy it is to push through instead of listening to what my body is so clearly saying even though I realised already it is important to do so. I realised today that it is harder to listen to my body when I want to, like being very open and loving with my partner, when I am constantly not listening to my body during the day. It is not just a switch you can switch on when it suits so it is actually really lovely to look at every part of my life of where I am actually pushing through and where I am allowing myself to honour my true feelings.
Going to bed by 9pm has been life changing for me, I work long shift hours and it has allowed me to work these hours without feeling as exhausted and tired.
Me too Anna, it is such a simple dedication but a life-changing ripple effect.
I keep saying I want to reset my rhythm of staying up late by going to bed before 9pm regularly – but I just don’t seem to be able to manage it. Maybe if I only commit to doing it for 9 days first and see what happens I might be able to break the cycle.
I love how you spoke to your Dad and expressed everything that you were feeling, and it turned out that he was fine with what you’d decided. It’s interesting how many of the decisions we make are about making the other person feel okay, protecting them from a perceived hurt or rejection that we think they’ll feel – all our own perceptions, projected onto them, and usually without ever having consulted them as to how they feel! What underlies this, I feel, is our own need to please others, to avoid being hurt ourselves. When we start listening to what we feel, and honouring that, the need to please others sort of slips away by itself, without it being something that we have to actively work on. It’s simply not needed anymore, as a way of protecting ourselves.
We have this story running in our heads, and so often that is simply not true… a projection of past hurts or ideals and beliefs we are carting around. As we learn to express them we start to learn the truth of the matter and that’s a much more solid, informed and empowered position to be in,
There is a great difference in making a commitment out of self love and purpose to making a commitment because you ‘think’ it is the right thing to do. Both ways bring about very different outcomes and very different levels of commitment. One builds consistency and a care that offers expansion, the other offers a momentary high with a usual crashing end leaving us feeling deflated and like we fail at any change.
I loved what you have shared Lieke, I was very much a yes person not wanting to displease anyone, and in this way no regard for myself, I have since found the word no, a beautiful liberating word when said in truth and love for myself and others, when i did choose to honour myself I found people were quite ok with the no word.
“I deeply enjoyed the beauty and stillness I could feel in my body when I went to bed early.” When we go to bed by 9pm and it is not ‘early’ but is just what we do it is no longer a comparison between ‘early’ or ‘late’.
Our learnings related to sleep and rest open the door to quite profound other learnings about life and how we live.
About life and how we live.
Our bodies are naturally vital when they are moved by the pulse of love. Being aware of what energy is moving our body is what allows us to discern what we are aligning to as we live our day. Our bodies speak loudly to us of the truth of how we are living in any moment and as you have beautifully shared Lieke, this relationship is one well-worth developing.
We listen, again and again, and if we stay listening, our bodies will always have something to tell us… Always! 🙂
Who would ever have thought that paying attention to the small details could have such a profound effect upon our lives.
Yes I think it is this dismissing of the details and thinking that it does not really matter is the thing that gets us as humanity as a whole the most. Details do matter and even the smallest step towards being more loving has a huge effect.
Very inspiring what you share in this blog, ‘I can now feel how choosing to live in a way that doesn’t honour my body makes me feel exhausted and tired, whereas living in a way that consistently honours my body and my feelings I have more energy to do whatever is needed. I can feel and appreciate how extremely self-empowering and self-caring it is to follow and honour my own feelings.’ Beautiful.
Choosing to live in a way that honours your body and its subtle messages is a gorgeous commitment to make to our selves, ‘I also loved the feeling of the commitment to myself, to care for myself and listen to my body’s signals.’
I agree Lorraine – in honoring the communication shared through our body we say ‘yes’ to confirming the love we are, is the love we want to live.
I love doing little experiments with the way I live and observing any changes. I have also noticed that when I make one change, it often affects everything, not just the thing I have changed.
I find it so interesting the difference it makes when we honour what we feel to do rather than do what we ‘think’ we should do to make others happy. It’s unbelievable the difference it makes to our energy levels.
By being honest about how we feel and what we feel to do it paves the way for living a life of truth. In other words, if we honour the details of how we feel then we are more accepting of the grandness of who we are, which is our true way of being.
“I realised that I could no longer live in a way that made me exhausted. I knew I had to develop a routine that honoured my body during my day – one that supported me to be ready for bed and not still be running with everything I had done that day.” So true Lieke. Exhaustion comes from the quality with which we live each day. It’s not just about catching up on sleep – when it is still possible to wake feeling tired.
It’s interesting that we start experimenting with something, only to find that the initial excitement of the new change disappears after a few days as it becomes our new normal. It means there’s always the possibility and invitation to go deeper and bring that focus to all areas of our life.
I love going to bed by 9pm and sometimes I choose to go to bed earlier because I have had a very full day, and the times I don’t listen to my body and override it and stay up a bit later I will then wake up feeling a bit out of sorts and not feeling refreshed. Honouring our body is such a beautiful choice to make and builds and deepens the relationship with ourselves it seems crazy that we would choose any other way.
Thank you Lieke, your blog has highlighted how often I don’t honour how I feel because of placing others first. We are not truly responsible though for others or their feelings so I can see that taking responsibility for myself is all that is needed.
I love the idea of experimenting with what truly works for you, and I love that you gave yourself 9 days to try this. I already go to bed around 9, but I’m wondering what else I could experiment with…
I agree Meg – experimenting makes it fun and playful. Trying a new way of doing something and having the openness to evaluate if it works or not gives us an opportunity to build a relationship with the body and its rhythms.
Totally – having an open and playful relationship with our body and its rhythms and cycles allows us to build a relationship with ourselves that we intimately know and ensures we’re always a student of ourselves, any ideas for an experiment?
Whilst it can seem almost normal and acceptable to over-ride what we are feeling in our bodies during the day, the price we pay is a depletion of the natural abundant vitality and joy we could have living every day.
Not listening to my feelings is exhausting. Listening to my feelings is energising. But when we start to live and be more vital those who haven’t chosen to do the same get upset. I feel this reaction is something I am still learning to accept and thankfully the body tells me that toning down my expression is not listening to how I feel to be.
Yes it’s a big one to accept. I still am amazed how many people question their friends when they start to make more self loving choices like eating healthy, going to bed earlier and not drinking alcohol.
Thank you Leigh, a great line “Not listening to my feelings is exhausting. Listening to my feelings is energising.” Words to live by!
It felt amazing coming back to read this again, Lieke, as I was able to feel deeper honesty of where I was at – that I am resisting commitment. Lately, I have not been taking care of myself as well as I would have liked to – coming home late from work, feeling agitated and a bit resentful because I did want to come home earlier and there’s lots to take care of at home, and needing to have ‘my’ time but instead stimulating myself with food and thinking ahead of what I have to do the next day etc. and I was thinking it was because of the circumstances, but as I read your sharing, I could feel how I was not willing to look at every corner of my life and take full responsibility, leaving a bit of leeway to let off the pressure so that I could use busy-ness as distraction. Even though I was busy doing things I was not committed to myself or to any activities I was involved in. I can feel my reluctance.
What you have shared here Fumiyo often happens to me. I somehow get it twisted that if I complete everything on my to-do list, especially at work, then somehow everything will be all right. This is never the case. What I am finding is when I commit to listening to my body, things have a natural flow and I don’t exhaust myself, and somehow, without any drive or sacrifice, everything gets done.
Yes honouring my body and my feelings is the key. Being willing to feel what gets in the way of this and still commit to it despite where anyone else is at is actually crucial not just for us but for them. Feeling the truth of this on a deeper level this morning and the ways I have so often sabotaged myself by going into sympathy with another and how this does not serve anyone.
Thank you Lieke being in bed by 9pm is something I allow myself to struggle with and get distracted from on a regular basis and it is definitely a reflection of how I have been in my day that I do not value myself enough to be committed to going to bed at the time that supports me. I have often chosen to eat something that takes me away from feeling so that I push through the tiredness and pay the price the next day. I have been aware of this for a long time and it has improved but there is a stubborn streak that is not willing to go deeper and really look at why I continually override what my body is telling me. Feeling inspired to commit to 9 days of being in bed by 9pm and to be open to what unfolds for me during that time.
Allowing ourselves to feel our pain makes space for us to feel love and joy, we should never forget that.
“Paying attention to these little feelings and honouring them is the key to staying with myself and feeling vital throughout my day.” Little things add up to make bigger things – so by being consistent in one area of our life we are enabling this consistency to flow into other aspects of life too.
Clearly the results of committing to going to bed consistently early whilst applying honesty to how you live throughout the day… and honouring what you feel, is incredibly powerful and worth the effort…. so I’m inspired to give this experiment a go for myself.
Lieke I can so relate to your sharing, lately my bed time has slipped because I allow myself to get caught in distracting myself with things that need to be done, which could all wait until the morning. I am now back to going to bed by 9pm and appreciate how much better my body feels in the morning and throughout the day because I am now being respectful and honouring its natural flow.
I agree Doug, whenever we have placed another before ourselves we have separated and disconnected and then there is no love whatsoever no matter what or how much is done. Placing another before ourselves avoids responsibility. It is an utter illusion, a complete lie and what feels like a very old behaviour of mine which with increasing awareness I am beginning to let go of.
We don’t realise the extent of energy we can give away by not following and listening to ourselves. I used to think that I was tired and exhausted because I wasn’t getting enough sleep or I wasn’t eating properly and while I’m not saying that these two factors do not have an impact because in some cases they do I have come to realise that when I got exhausted it was usually because I had not listened to myself and pushed myself during the day or I had listened to another and not followed what I felt supported me. It could be very surprising how exhausted I got listening and following another with no respect for myself.
Yes it is interesting how we can get so exhausted from doing what others like instead of what we feel to do ourselves. I thought for long that I did not do this but actually I am doing this. It now often happens when I am avoiding my own power in making choices and therefore constantly looking at what others are doing and going with them. Which is silly if you think about it because we ourselves can only truly know ourselves what we need to do to grow and support us.
Exhaustion is a deceptive thing. You feel tired all the time and constantly behind where you think you should be so you stay up that little bit too late teach each night trying to catch up…. and going to bed later than your body needs you to only feeds the exhaustion monster all the more.
Yes the cycle of exhaustion we could call it! Listening to our bodies is the only way to get out of this unsupportive cycle because I keep finding that my body knows more than mind in what needs to still be done, and what not before bed.
The more I understand about my body and exhaustion, the more apparent it becomes that the number of hours of sleep I get is not the only factor contributing to tiredness – far from it. There’s so much more to tiredness and exhaustion than we’ve been led to believe. Preparing for the quality of our sleep begins during the day. If we’re spending our entire day feeling tension and anxiety, holding onto things, not expressing or getting involved in complication, then it makes sense that this disturbance is going to be felt in our body at night: it doesn’t just disappear just because we’re lying down and telling ourselves to go to bed. There is no ‘off moment’ where we turn the lights off and shut down – how we are in our day is something we carry with us into our sleep.
This is inspiring Lieke, it is the rhythms we get caught in that keeps us up at night. Choosing to break this, by making a commitment to be in bed on time, I can see will bring a deep change in how we are in the day. Making choices to truly nurture ourselves is the key.
Hello Lieke and I have taken this study with myself, “I felt how making a commitment to going to bed on time had a direct effect on how I felt the next day.” If I miss the mark for bed then it definitely carries into my next day. There is no concrete set time as depending on what I am doing it may change. I know to listen to my body though and when I am at home naturally around the 9pm mark is the call to go to bed. Most of the time there is an 8 in there and when I am in bed around this time I wake up early, feeling fresh. If I walk past that bedtime feeling for whatever reason then the next morning I wake up feeling a little fuzzy in the head almost like what I hangover used to feel like. It’s not that big a deal but in me I know and it takes a little shine off my day and if this was to go on for a week well I wouldn’t be the same person.
Hey Ray, I experience the same almost hangover like experience when I go to bed too late. It doesn’t need to affect my whole day but it does mean I have to work twice as hard in the morning to make sure the day is as amazing as it could be.
This is usually a reflection for my day or to say it another way if you wake not feeling fresh and vibrant have a look into the day before. Just like the choice to walk past a time I feel to go to bed, the choice just doesn’t happen it may have a momentum in the day just gone or possibly longer. The trick is to put all the pressure or focus on the choice or the time we made the choice when in fact any choice is a result of how we have walked prior. In other words there is a way of living that supports you to be in a way that listens, hears and honours what you feel. In this way you don’t necessarily make a choice like we perceive it now, it’s more you live with a true deep care and any choice is just a natural extension of that care. No more pictures of lights out at a certain time your whole day is working towards it. I don’t mean it’s a focus but it brings in that it’s all one life, every choice has it’s eye on what’s needed for everything and not just reacting to the moment in front of it.
I too can relate to putting others before me because I did not want to hurt them which led to feelings of resentment in my body. I have come to realise that whenever I do not listen to my body and ignore it I am abusing it and that hurts.
I can relate her Lieke to that false ‘second wind’ that you get at night when you are tired and your body is asking you to go to bed but we then find something stimulating to get involved in whether that be coffee, something sweet to eat, TV, a conversation, the internet, social media, a project etc and before you know it you have stayed up later than your true bed time for that day, based on your body’s rhythm. It does take a certain amount of discipline and steady loving commitment to myself to not fall into these things in the evening and stay true to what my body is asking for.
For a 24-year-old woman to have such a deep perspective on her day and body is very inspiring. Finding ways to refine our choices so we are honouring ourselves in a path, I continue to discover and unfold.
Having a commitment to any part of our rhythm has some pretty spectacular benefits, and in particular a steadiness and consistency that I had only dreamed of.
Developing a rhythm of going to bed – not early but when my body reminds me it is time to rest – has given me a vitality that I did not have when I used to stay awake to conform to the ‘normal’ time for bed. My normal is when my body is settling down for repose, which is usually around 9 pm.
Living our lives for other people is actually about us living our lives for us: we think we’re doing things because others want us to do them, but often we’re doing them because we want to please them and don’t want to hurt them.. it’s a subtle form of controlling our relationship with others, controlling our environment so that we can feel okay. When we truly honour what we can feel, life starts to change. We’re not dependent on anything outside of ourselves to feel good about ourselves – how empowering is that, to realise and actually feel that everything we’ve ever wanted to feel, is already inside us?
“I can now feel how choosing to live in a way that doesn’t honour my body makes me feel exhausted and tired, whereas living in a way that consistently honours my body and my feelings I have more energy to do whatever is needed. I can feel and appreciate how extremely self-empowering and self-caring it is to follow and honour my own feelings.”
Absolutely everything changes when we consider the responsibility we have when choosing the quality we are bringing to all that we are in our expression.
Brilliant, what a gift to receive this message from someone. It is something we can all take on-board, connect to ourselves first then exhaustion would be a thing of the past.
‘Listening To My Body And Honouring My Feelings’ this is something we are not taught as children and adults but how vital is it to do? From what you’ve shared it shows that this can support us to eliminate exhaustion. Also letting go of trying to please others is a huge one, I can relate to feeling exhausted and resentful when I don’t listen to my body and push myself to do things to please others. This doesn’t support anyone, everything is then done with absolutely no quality if it is done under the energy of exhaustion and, or resentment. Yet, when we listen and honour our body, everything we do comes with quality, because we are more able to connect to ourselves and work with vitality instead of exhaustion.
It is so easy to do, to get caught up with what we think we ‘should’ do and engage in emotions, as the world outside of ourselves is constantly asking us to override what we feel. Yet as you have described, I also have experienced that living in this disregarding way is utterly exhausting. Developing a loving and honoring relationship with our bodies is key to living in connection to ourselves, which will guide us to make choices that support us to live with the vitally we deserve to live with, bringing far greater quality of presence to all that we do.
Thank you Lieke… I also sometimes have a very intense stretch of work… And what I have found is that if I take just one day off and allow myself to really sink, just to really allow myself to feel the tiredness, to not push at all, to not try and boost myself with sugar or carbohydrates or anything else, then I am able to recharge… It actually feels miraculous sometimes.
I know that cjames. I can sometimes get on a marry go round of being tired not wanting to feel it, eating sugar and keeping busy to get everything done and not get any rest and keep feeling tired for days. As you say it is so great to just stop and feel how tired I am and not try to avoid it – even if unpleasant at that time – is very regenerative.
“Paying attention to these little feelings and honouring them is the key to staying with myself and feeling vital throughout my day.” It really is this simple, we don’t need sugar, caffeine or carbs for energy, just like we don’t need the latest gossip or drama or event for life to be interesting and full. All we need to do is follow our feelings and the energy to be in and enjoy life is there for us. Thank you Lieke.
This line struck home Lieke ‘by virtue of not pleasing everyone throughout the day, I felt full of energy,’ and is something I’m looking at right now, as I feel and see what it is to feel what is needed rather than just fall into what is happening around me, (something I can very easily do), so you’ve inspired me to go deeper with this and play some more, thank you.
More often than not, when I get to bed at a sensible time like 9, I bounce out of bed the following morning… and its such a gorgeous time of day early in the morning. So quiet, so still… and I feel fresh. This is juxtaposed to the extra few hours I used to get by staying up late and pushing through some piece of work or checking out in front of the TV.
when we do start to listen to our bodies is like tuning into a vast repository of wisdom, that has always been there for us.
“by virtue of not pleasing everyone throughout the day, I felt full of energy” This has been something I am experiencing more and more and it really came back to me while reading this blog. The more I focus on how I feel to be at any given time (or really every chosen time) I feel less drained and more energised. Thank you for this reminder Lieke.
‘I realise that I have been letting the outside world run my life for a long time.’ I can relate to this Lieke and I am aware, although I stay much more with myself, this tendency to do things for others instead of feeling my own rhythm is still something I can do very easily. Observing my choices has helped me a lot to become more honest and self loving.
Hmmm, its getting close to 9pm, it’s 8.30. Do I carry on and write this comment or do I prepare for bed? Wow, actually done in the space of a minute. Bed will feel very yummy tonight because I am stopping now and allowing time to prepare for it. Thank you Lieke.
That distraction at the end of the day is a killer. Whether its wrapped up as some ‘me time’ a reward for having worked so hard, or just busying ourselves till the last possible minute. It exposes to me that I ‘reward’ myself by checking out, or even giving up at the end of the day… having seen it, its not what I choose any more!
Thank you for sharing your wisdom Lieke. I got a lot from what you have shared, and much of which I can take into my own awareness of how I am being throughout my day, honouring my own body more and in turn all others.
9 days of going to be by 9pm, that’s a great idea, I may just give it a try myself….
Lieke I too have found that I was allowing myself to override how I felt, and found that I would go shopping or out with friends when I knew my body just wanted to rest. Now I am much more in tune with my body and self honouring of it too, it has made an amazing difference to how much energy I have during the day and how much more deeply I am able to sleep.
‘I also had to look at the way I was living during my day; it was not just about the fact that I did not sleep enough.’ The quality of how we have been during the day is greatly reflected by the quality of our sleep, if we want to sleep better in order to be more vital, not only do we need to go to bed by 9-9.30, we need to improve our quality of living all-round.
Thank you Leike for sharing your experience, I too love the early to bed early to rise and i am finding that I have much more energy throughout my day. So simple but what a difference it makes in our day.
Ever time someone stops being run by the outside and reconnects to the inside and starts to follow the inner connection, the balance of light and dark in the world moves more to the light, and this is how the world will change , one heart at a time.
Staying with that delicate, exquisite feeling of love that I have when I am truly connected within my body is so rewarding. Why would I want to give that up?
I was all ready for bed last night at 730pm and needed to complete some work from the day. So I sat up until 9pm completing what I needed to do. Before I started my work and jumped on the internet for 20mins for a browse, no purpose in it. Immediately after this I began to feel quite tired and then made myself stay up until I completed my work. We can easily get caught up in overriding our bodies messages, but all this does is affect how we are on the following day, in all things.
Yes Jennifer, this is something I can do as well, I am tired and ready for bed yet I distract myself on the computer etc instead of listening to my body and honouring what it is clearly telling me.
Really lovely to come back to this blog, and there’s much I can relate to right now – as I can also feel how exhausted I am and how anxiousness and nervous energy are on the backend of it as a result of letting the outside world run my body, and how my best attempt at caring my body was just not getting anywhere. A perfect reset button for me. Thank you, Lieke.
I know that pull to do what we think others want us to do, but I found that easier to let go of than I thought it would be. What I find harder is to let go of my errant ways of derailing the lovely, nurturing way I feel and staying up late for no good reason. It’s a little piece of sabotage that I am finding I really have to be aware of and consciously work on. Going to bed early is so rewarding and the feeling is lovely in my body. Maybe it comes down to those fine details that make the foundation of my day. It is in those details earlier in the day that I will be looking at and working on to support my decisions further on.
It is so true, the way we choose to live has been so often impulsed from the outside while, in truth, it is hurting us. I feel when choosing differently it is truly empowering
This is so familiar:
“I realise that I have been letting the outside world run my life for a long time. I would override my feelings and go with what everyone around me told me to do.”
It’s amazing what happens if you actually spend your day doing what feels right for you, there is a flow and things magically slot into place. When you’re trying to please everyone else you feel like you’re chasing your tail.
“When you’re trying to please everyone else you feel like you’re chasing your tail.” So true and well put Laura. We can never ever please everyone else – we can just do what we are there to do that particular day.
Lieke I can feel how absolute we become in ourselves when we honour what we feel in this way. Taking the time to make the commitment to self through looking at the way in which we live our day is such an important key in living a life that is truly vital, honouring and allows us to bring our all to life.
I recognise more and more the value and role of sleep in my life and concur with you that it’s crucial to develop a routine during the day that supports you to be ready for bed when the body is tired and not be dropping off the end of the day’s production line of tasks, activities and conversations straight into bed. We need a wind down period and this is part of the preparation for optimising our opportunity for a great night’s sleep.
Thank you Lieke, what you have shared here is magic and from my own experience also a little challenging at the start, as I had/have a few old pattens that still creep in every now and then, to try and interfere with me getting to bed at 9pm or earlier. Like you have shared I feel a whole lot more vital and rested when I consistently get to bed at 9pm or earlier.
This shows the power of the simplest of choices to increase the quality of our life, our health and our being and that deep down we all have the ability to choose to create the life we want and in no way at all are we ever ‘stuck’ with what we’ve been ‘delivered’. This can be a hard pill to swallow, that we are responsible for any tiredness, lovelessness, business, overwhelm, abuse or any other emotion in our lives, that we’ve chosen it and we’ve constellated it. It’s worth admitting this though, because then we feel our power to bring change, as this blog so clearly glows!
Thank you Lieke, I really related to your blog, I have been a pleaser most of my life ignoring what my body was feeling to be there for others needs. It has taken time to acknowledge, that I do matter, and what I feel is important, listening to my body and honouring what I am feeling is an ever evolving process.
Yes Jill I am learning that one too and find that it is essential to put myself first, especially the connection with myself. If I loose my connection with myself and get cold hands or/and feet I am currently just taking a moment with myself and sit still, feeling my heart. Sometimes really putting my hands on my heart and they warm up very quickly. It is really lovely to do this instead of keeping going in business and looking for recognition with others.
What you share Lieke about honouring your feelings throughout your day and how it supported your flow, ease, rhythm and sleep is so reassuring. Not attending a meeting or going with your dad to the supermarket to not offend and please others are great examples, especially with your dad. So often we distort and go out of our way to please another based on an assumption, possibly to avoid responsibility and an opportunity for communication. These little dishonourings of ourselves we can brush off as insignificant but day after day they can really interfere with the daily rejuvenation sleep has to offer us and add up to living a life that overwhelms us.
What a great blog for millions of people around the world- we all sleep, many are exhausted and or miserable, and it’s even a healthy thing we can do that is free. Thank you Lieke for sharing we have the power to choose how we sleep, wind down for sleep and live our day in a way to be ready for sleep.
We are so used to overriding the messages of our body and it takes a real adjustment to come back to attending to the clear and true statements that are coming from this amazing vehicle that we inhabit… Always is sending us clear information as to what we need to do next.
Thank you Leike for such a gorgeous blog, my whole life changed when I began honouring my body and getting to sleep my 9pm. I spent years overriding my bodies natural signals with food, sleep, exercise and work etc and the greatest gift for me was being introduced to the self-care principles as taught by Universal Medicine that are simple and truly work.
Thank you Leike for a gorgeous blog, my whole life changed when I began honouring my body and getting to sleep my 9pm. I spent years overriding my bodies natural signals with food, sleep, exercise and work etc and the greatest gift for me was being introduced to the self-care principles as taught by Universal Medicine that are simple and truly work.
How do we create more space in our day…. all we have to do is honour our feelings and what needs to get done that day gets done….then we take ourselves to bed in contentment rather than frustration of what did not get done… I also find going to bed early and rising early is a super support for my body and the day ahead. Thankyou Lieke for a super blog as most tend to underestimate the importance of sleep.
Universal medicine fundamentally presents for us all how to care for our selves and our body in a hitherto for totally unexplored way… And through this new paradigm to experience a connection that is so deep and nurturing that our lives totally reconfigure
We are so deeply ill-conditioned to think our head (or someone else’s for that matter) knows better than our own body. This is a huge compromise we are making as a race of beings.
Yes well said Fumiyo, without being aware of this fact we as humanity are deeply retarded because we do not listen to our bodies. Looking at the animal kingdom is a great example of how to do this. We might think we are the most intelligent species on earth yet we do not live up to the simple fact of honouring our own body we live in…
Powerfully expressed Fumiyo. We let the head and ideas trump the body, in doing so we numb the body until the body has to speak very loudly through illness and disease.
I find it interesting how self-care has sort of gotten a ‘bad rap’ in society and can sometimes be known as being selfish. To put your own feelings before or of more importance than the satisfaction or happiness of another. This has definitely been twisted, like many sacred things in the world, some people don’t get why on earth you would put your own wellbeing over what is best for another. I used to think like that, but now it’s quite the opposite, I would not put anyone’s wants or needs before honouring of listening to the wellbeing of my body in the name of pleasing another. This isn’t to say I wouldn’t serve another or be open to whatever another needs, it just isn’t more important than the connection I feel with me first.
Yes it is an upside down world Rachael, but common sense tells us that if we have looked after our self in a loving way we are more able to care for another. On the other hand if we can’t take care of ourselves and are depleted and uncared for what do we even have to give another?
Yes Brendan, consistency is key for allowing a supportive rhythm to develop in the body. Washing my hands with appreciation has been some homework of late, which was going well, until the rhythm asked me to take this same presence to other more distracting areas. I found this difficult to hold the appreciation when washing my hands when the other parts of the day didn’t carry this same quality. Thus understanding that it can’t be about parts, but the whole of how we are with ourselves in rhythm, consistently so.
Lieke, you are offering us an example of how simple life can be once we start honouring our body and listen to all it has to say. This simplicity is something we all know but avoiding by overriding choosing for distraction, disregard, complexity and so on. It only needs a choice from us to truly see the effects this have not only on our body but also about life in general. Your blog is giving us an awesome reflection and an inspiration to change our life by changing seemingly small things.
Very true and inspiring. All those things we do to please others are just letting ourselves down, not truly choosing to really be who we are and honour what we feel to do.
“Honouring this feeling made space to do what I really felt was needed that day, which was much more supportive for me, and for everyone”.
Thank you Lieke for highlighting and reminding us of honouring what is felt in our bodies.
We have, at every moment, the wisdom to live a life of truth and love, how inspiring!
Yes very true Shirl, I yesterday noticed how easy it is to ignore my body even if it is talking loudly. with my dinner I just simply felt I had eaten enough but because I wanted to eat more as it tasted so good and I planned to eat more, I finished my plate, though felt heavy in my body afterwards. Then really not liking the heaviness but not wanting to address that I actually overrode my feeling that I had eaten enough. Quite beautiful though to know that yes indeed in my body is all the wisdom I need to feel lovely and nurtured in my body.
Lieke, this is something I am working on. When the food is so tasty, I always tend to finish my plate, and not feeling into when my body has had enough. And a very old pattern of mine is rushing my food, which I still have to watch out for as it can just creep in if I am focused on how good the food tastes…..
I talk a lot about listening to the wisdom of the body and the power of sharing from our lived experience, but am only now starting to get the vast wisdom that is there to be accessed. Our body knows the truth of every breath, thought, word and deed – our body truly loves us and will always guide us in truth. As you experienced Lieke with your trial of going to bed early – the real truth is felt within. Thank you for sharing
Lieke, I love how you write with a simple honesty that is so easily relatable, and yet, if one stands back just a little, offers ground-breaking realisations and awarenesses about what can truly make a difference to our vitality and ‘joie de vivre’.
Particularly so since coming to the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine also, I have recognised many of the same themes you have shared here as having substantial draining influences on our vitality for any given day. Your words here sum it up for me: “I realise that I have been letting the outside world run my life for a long time.”
To return to our own inner marker of what honours us and listen to our bodies as to what is true in this regard is the greatest learning there is – it’s a choice isn’t it, let ‘the world’ run us, or be ourselves in the world. A truly powerful blog, thank-you.
Love the simplicity Victoria; let the world run you, or be ourselves in the world, which is the choice we each make.
And one I continue to return to every day. There is so much that would take us away from ourselves… and yet with dedication we can hold a foundational strength where we needn’t lose ourselves in the fray…
This blog so echoes my own experience…! And this line also sums it up for me “I can now feel how choosing to live in a way that doesn’t honour my body makes me feel exhausted and tired, whereas living in a way that consistently honours my body and my feelings I have more energy to do whatever is needed.” This has become a great marker for me on a daily basis, observing my stress and energy levels and being able to bring my awareness back to how I have been caring for myself and my body throughout my day.
Hi Lieke as the last time – I absolutely appreciate your wonderful blog. I am a woman who loves to go to bed at 9.00pm and therefore I know exactly about your experience with going to bed earlier. And to pay attention to all these little feelings and also honoring them is for me also a key to stay with myself during the day. Is it not funny that such small choices can have such an mind blowing effect on our vitality?
“Paying attention to these little feelings and honouring them is the key to staying with myself and feeling vital throughout my day.” When we talk wellbeing, the ‘fine print’ matters a great deal. They are otherwise the home for what is insidious but we do not want to see.
Agreed Eduardo. When I read the line you’ve quoted, it instantly stood out to me that these were no ‘little’ feelings and awarenesses at all – honouring them can have a substantial impact on our vitality and our ability to be true to ourselves, our bodies and all others.
One need only stand back a little to view what Lieke is saying here, and it’s actually huge…
Thank you Leike, I really enjoyed reading your article, I can relate to giving away my time to please others, but I have noticed, more and more, as I am feeling what my body is telling me, it is become more natural for me to make self loving choices.
Developing a self loving routine – such amazing results are felt. Energy levels increase, sustaining longer working hours, more vitality and yes more joy, a feeling to get out there in the world and share more with others around me. I was once blinkered and seduced by T.V, snacking and late nights to feel the effects for so many days afterwards. Just add stress and anxiousness to that recipe – hey presto! dis-ease and disharmony come into play. Beautiful sharing Lieke – a joy to read at the beginning of my day.
In any moment I choose to make a commitment to myself, my vitality and energy increase hugely – and with that there’s a natural commitment to life, what needs to be done and everybody.
I agree gylrae, the commitment to ourselves has a much bigger impact, it expands to all because we are a part of the whole, as we are one.
Beautifully said Annelies: “the commitment to ourselves has a much bigger impact, it expands to all because we are a part of the whole, as we are one.” We all are deeply connected even if we are not aware of this, all our choices affect everyone else. This often gives me purpose to live as responsible and loving as I can as I know this will support everyone to do the same. This is a great way of helping and supporting others.
Yes Annelies, how we live is what we reflect, only takes one person to reflect a different way to live, then everyone gets that choice….. Serge Benhayon being a great example of this, as we all are when we live truth.
Thank you Lieke for sharing this great blog, our body speaks a very clear and loud language and yet we are not taught this language, in fact we are directed not to listen at all to our body and live in a world of disregard and hence disease.
Going to bed around 9 PM is indeed very supportive. And enjoying the very early mornings is very supportive also. Thank you Lieke for this timely reminder to not override my feelings by doing what’s best for others.
Thankyou Lieke, I have very much enjoyed reading this again. There is a great amount of wisdom in your shared experiences, and it is written beautifully. What I have realised in this read is how much I still make my life about focusing on others and outer needs and not myself and my own needs. For me something so simple is made complicated by this choice.
Yes so true Melinda, it is so simple yet when I override my feelings it gets very complicated.
I loved reading this Leike. I’ve recently been going for a pee when my body tells me to, something I noted I held onto till it suited rather than honouring what my body was saying! This has taken me to some interesting places where I’ve made some amazing connections, all because I’m listening to me. There is so much more on from this, like when we eat, what to eat, when to rest, call someone or not. I take so much from reading your experiment and experiences here. Thank you.
I love that Candida not going to the toilet when we need to is a big one too. It is so interesting to see how much we learn to override our bodies growing up. I remember as a child I would just not rest until I could go to the toilet if I needed too. Or when I had a little stone in my shoe it had to taken out straight away. Now it is more like ‘i will get it out when I am home’. It makes me wonder what makes us so busy that we do not take time for these little things?
Candida and Lieke funny you should mention this. I am still struggling with this simple body function and will often hold on in order not to interrupt either a meeting or a conversation. This is something for me to look into as it is such a burden at times. Who would have thought that reading your blog would bring me to realise how long I have lived with this self-imposed restriction.
I agree Candida – listening to our body opens up so much more than we may otherwise be aware of. Life’s wonders and blessings expand. Thanks Leike for sharing
Ahaha Candida I had to laugh as I read your honest sharing because this not going for a pee when my body tells me to do is one of my reminder for me that I am out and not connected with me! It is so funny what I can choose to do only because I have this will and therefore the power to override my lovely body.
esteraltmilks that is something to realise it is just something we can do because we have this will and thus the power to override our precious bodies. Sometimes I am observing this fact that I am consciously choosing to not go for a pee, or something else for me is feeling thirsty and not taking a glass of water or something else to drink because it seems important to stay in the company I am in, or the conversation is very interesting..always making the outside world more important because I can…or because I donot want to be noticed, stand out or whatever I think they will think of me, crazy. And yes what Lieke is saying ‘I realise that I have been letting the outside world run my life for a long time. I would override my feelings and go with what everyone around me told me to do.’ It is an exhausting exercise and something we can bring in more love to change this pattern.
Great example about the peeing. It shows in how many areas we don’t and can start to listen more to our body again. I am experimenting with breakfast. Instead of my routine breakfast I am feeling into – every morning – if I am hungry, if yes, what I need and how much of it. Very interesting. Every day is different.
This sharing is a great reminder for me to honour my feelings and to not override them which I can do so easily.Trying to please others or hiding from myself and my true feelings tend to take me away from my rhythms which are my foundation. Going to bed early is also part of my foundation and I love how I feel when I honour that. Great sharing, Lieke.
When I don’t honour myself or my feelings honestly, I’ve realised that I am actually abusing myself. These feelings are not just there for no reason, it is the call of my inner being, a call of love.
That is beautiful Matthew: “These feelings are not just there for no reason, it is the call of my inner being, a call of love.”
Just hearing you talk about having an inner being Lieke makes me feel wholesome.
Yes Matthew great point. . . . when we don’t honour ourselves or our feelings we are in fact overriding love.
It has been beautiful to read all the comments on this blog and I can feel to deepen my winding down time as well as many of you have expressed. It is such a gorgeous thing to do the sharing like we do on this blog. It is deeply inspiring, thank you.
Being in bed by 9pm and being consistent with this is so beneficial for our wellbeing. I always knew I ‘should’ be going to bed earlier when I used to stay up until 10pm. Making the choice to be in bed by 9pm and being consistent with this gives me clarity and therefore I am much more focused and committed to myself and my day.
I am early to bed every night, yet there is still exhaustion in my day – even though this is important and a very self loving gesture towards oneself, there is more that contributes to vitality. You’ve expressed some of these factors beautifully Lieke. One in particular stood out for me when you felt to say no to your dad and honour what you were feeling. This is something I have struggled with and a recent birthday weekend made it clear that I am not honouring myself to level I could be. I’ve stopped being hard on myself I can now see this as an opportunity to expand what I know self-love to be.
I am finding that just in making a commitment to change one particular aspect of my life, and working on that everyday, it has a beautiful ripple affect on all parts of my life. So by choosing to go to bed by a certain time each day, Lieke is not only giving herself more care, she is also stating the fact that she is worth making the commitment to life for.
Funny how these ways of behaviour become invisible, but in every moment of every day they are draining and exhausting us because it is not a true way to be and underneath, at the deepest level, we know this, but above this are many layers of falseness, of things we have taken on. So we find it easier to settle in to that pattern because we have vested interests in keeping them that way. Being true to oneself and to one’s feelings of what is true, begins to uncover the deeper patterns of behaviour that we run that have kept us down for so long, and allows an ever greater sense of what we know is truly us to be lived.
I used to live in a momentum of override, constantly pushing myself and not realising my body was in exhaustion. It took me a very long time to come out of exhaustion, with commitment in changing the way I went to bed and when I went to bed. This is one of the best things I did to support my body
I love this blog Lieke and can along with many people relate to what you have written. “I realise that I have been letting the outside world run my life for a long time.” I could never understand why I would get so exhausted during and at the end of my day even though I had plenty of sleep! When I look at how I am today, I eat and sleep less yet I have never had so much energy! Listening to the outside world instead of listening to the inner world giving my power/energy away has been one of the biggest drains on my body. The more I connect and listen to that which feels true to me the more vital I am in my day.
Lieke, thank you for this reminder to listen to the body. I have been in a familiar pattern of overriding it. Then it allows my head to dominate and cause indecision rather that what I know is true in my heart.
This is the third blog I’ve read today that mentions or talks about the way others react when we express the truth. Interesting as it has come up in my relationships with people recently. I can clearly feel that expressing truth leaves me alone, whereas not expressing leave a lingering sticky feeling that something isn’t complete and the backwash from this feels turbulent and heavy.
This is something precious that I am discovering “I can now feel how choosing to live in a way that doesn’t honour my body makes me feel exhausted and tired, whereas living in a way that consistently honours my body and my feelings I have more energy to do whatever is needed.” Once becoming aware how significant being body aware can be on my health and well being, I would not have it any other way, some times I dip, but have the tools to support myself to return to a deeper state of vitality and joy now and I continue to develop this awareness. This is something that so worth exploring.
It so easy to come up with reasons as to why you need to do one more thing before going to bed, pushing bed time slowly later and later. And yet when it comes to put children to bed, the process of bed time starts well before they get into bed, with supper and a bath and story time, setting them up for a lovely sleep. I am not suggesting that we all need to be read stories and have bath time every night, however the care and space given to ourselves to prepare for sleep is equally important for adults as it is for children.
Rebecca I love this example of how we care for our children, it is very good at exposing how we take ourselves for granted and how we do not take the same deep care of ourselves as we do for our children. It helps me often when I am hard on myself to ask myself what if I would do the same to a little child that had done just the same as I had in that moment, would I be so hard or him/her?
I agree Rebecca when we keep our to-do list running up until bed time we can find it gets later and later, even if there is no list we can still be engaged and caught up in doing something that can even distract us from feeling when our body is ready for sleep. As you share, adults too can prepare for sleep. I find when I shift down a gear before bed I move with more care and can still attend to little things around the home (so long as I don’t try to start anything), and even when the home is in order I am surprised by how many small things have been left.
I agree Deanne, running up to the last minute doesn’t help you get the rest you need. In the same way we prepare for a day; getting up, showering, brushing teeth, putting on makeup, exercising and making breakfast are all things we do to be ready for a day, and yet we often don’t put the same time and effort into going to sleep.
Great blog Lieke on honouring ourselves and what we feel is needed to truly support us. Sleep is vitally important but as you have shown it is how we live our whole day that leads into our sleep, that leads into our next day and so on. When we honour what is true for us and not what we think we ‘should’ be doing, we are able to live in a way that is truly nurturing of ourselves and allows us to live in the true rhythm of life.
It is such a change when we honour our feelings of what is truly loving rather than doing something out of not wanting to hurt another person’s feelings. I was brought up to not be selfish and to think of the other pesron first, so it has been a real challenge to change to truly honour myself. In the process of doing so I discovered that not expressing my truth in this regard there were so many other areas where I had similarly not been truthful but had not realised it. The more I manage to express what I am really feeling, easier and lighter life is becoming.
Getting into bed for 9pm is still a struggle for me I really want to be there but I still get distracted by the computer or last minute things that I ‘think’ need to be done. I am going to do what you done Lieke, and go to bed at 9pm for 9 days and see if I can break the cycle I am in.
I think waking up tells us a lot about where we are at. It’s a daily occurrence, whether we like it or not, and perhaps the messages or detail waking up shows us, needs to be brought into the spotlight.
Good one Suzanne- I have used this for years and it is so telling about how I have been choosing to live. It is like a moment of honesty when we wake up whether we like it or not – we can pay attention to it and consider how to adjust the day or push it down as fast as possible and keep on living the same old way.
I have always felt the same as you when I commit to something; I feel such pleasure at choosing to love myself more than I did before, no matter what that something happens to be.
Just choosing one thing like the commitment to go to bed at 9pm each night is such a fabulous start to self care. In just doing this alone, after a few days or a couple of weeks, you do get to experience and notice far more vitality in your day. It’s well worth doing this experiment!
It is worth it johannebrown17 and with that first commitment comes the opportunity to commit to something else that is honouring and caring of us and before we know it the way in which we lived has transformed into one that truly supports us and our bodies, one that is really our natural way of being.
This morning I feel the power in the words of the title of your blog Lieke – “Listening to My Body and Honouring My Feelings” – and just reading and feeling this brings to me sustenance and confirmation as I am learning to let go the thought that ‘I must push through, I must keep up’ etc. etc. – thank you.
I completely agree with what you have written about the benefit of going to bed early and also how our energy levels are affected by our 24/7 way of living. I have been consistently going to bed before 9pm for many years now and also bringing awareness to my whole day and my life has transformed in ways I couldn’t even have imagined ten years ago. I used to be tired all the time and much less functional after lunch. These days I am active and have consistent energy levels all day long. I get up at 3am and am on the go pretty much all day (with a lunch break) until about 7pm when I start a winding down process. I do this 7 days a week and it is very joyful. The point being that there is a whole other way of living that I have learnt through the presentations of Serge Behayon and Universal Medicine and it really works and it is a lot of fun!!!
I love what you write here Nicola about how fun it is to live in the way you do. When I first started looking at the way in which I lived and realising that it is possible to live in the way you do I saw it as a chore or burden that had me missing out on something. Only when I realised that I was living in a way that had me feeling great and purposeful all day long that I realised that I had actually been missing out before not now and that the way I used to live was actually the burden!
What you say is so very true Penelope. It is funny how often we long for a moment off. A moment off what? A moment off life, a moment away from love and joy, a moment to check out and numb ourselves? We have just published Unimedpedia Comfort – http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia/word-index/unimedpedia-comfort.html – worth a read – we are wanting to escape from love into the ugliness of comfort which is not what we think it is and very harmful!!
What an awesome article on comfort Nicola. A must read for everyone to understand as you say, the ugliness and harm that comfort truly is. Thanks for sharing it.
What you have written about overriding your feeling to please someone else is wonderful Lieke. It is something that I am more and more developing and learning at 58. I can’t even imagine how different my life would have been if I had honoured myself and had the wisdom and experience you already have when I was your age!
I like the way you chose what was right for you and did not fall for feeling obliged to do something from a belief. I know from my own experience I used to do this whilst visiting my parents, if I didn’t schedule the time in specifically to be with them and just drop in for ten minutes feeling obliged because I had been too busy, the visit always felt like it was lacking the quality.
“It was like the excitement of starting something new had faded and the initial improvements in my wellbeing and vitality were becoming ‘normal’.” It’s interesting Lieke how the excitement of something new is a form of stimulation but once something is no longer new, people often stop what they started and return to their old ways. Instead you took it further and continued on with understanding what was depleting your energy to find that it was also the fact that you hadn’t been honouring your feelings and what your body was bringing to your attention during your day. Once you honoured this and made the changes… Me Voila!
This blog is such a fantastic example of how we can introduce change in our lives and how a little commitment and resolve can give back one hundredfold. In my experience the sleep cycle is one of the best examples of how every part of our lives influences and feeds back other areas and addressing one area can naturally lead to refining other areas. A few years back when I started to go to bed earlier I found I also had to address any kinds of stimulants that would make it difficult to fall asleep by 9pm- like caffeine and sugar. Like you Lieke there are other things during my day that have been and still can be addressed to deepen when and how I sleep each night. Understanding that choices can set up a momentum is very helpful, this way when I make a choice there is a sense that this choice will not stand in isolation and is likely to beget the next choice, the one after that and so on.
What a brilliant blog, packed with wisdom, ~ thank you Lieke. I love going to bed at nine, but as you point out, it’s not only about the time, it’s how we LIVE during the day that determines the level of energy we have. In every moment. I am constantly developing self-love in the sense that I say no more often, instead of pleasing others. Your blog is super clear showing that: “I can now feel how choosing to live in a way that doesn’t honour my body makes me feel exhausted and tired”. It takes responsibility to change what doesn’t work. Great inspiration.
We waste a lot of energy doing things for other out of duty, instead of what feels right in the moment. Doing something from a duty means when we are with another it will never be as enjoyable as it could be as it is against the natural flow of our day.
So true Gail, lately I have found that every time I go to do something in that duty mode, it goes horribly wrong, its comical actually, like Basil from faulty towers, everything that could go wrong, does go wrong. In a way it is a gift, as it is showing me that I cannot put on the duty hat without consequence to that action.
You say it beautifully
” Doing something from a duty means when we are with another it will never be as enjoyable as it could be as it is against the natural flow of our day.”
Duty is like walking in a maze… you are confined to the walls around you that were made by someone else. We always have the choice to have a ‘Basil day or a Peter Pan day’ I know what I prefer.
Love your analogy sjmatsonuk, it makes sense to the way duty feels and yes ‘magic days’ feel heaps better than ‘Basil days’. Its funny though how over the years, instead of working on stepping away from ‘duty’ I chose to identify with being a “Bazil type character, made this clumsy, funny, dramatic persona and told myself that that is who was. I did all this so I didn’t have to face the fact that I was living in a maze of someone else’s making.
Beauifully expressed both Gail and Sarah. When we do something from a sense of duty there can never be a flow, for when we are not coming from the truth in our hearts there can be no joy in what we do, this is felt by those involved, creating tension which pulls against the natural flow the universe would have us follow, nothing then flows, and everything that can go wrong does go wrong.
Yes most of the time there is no flow and it is all over the place but what I have found to be even worse than that is when there is a flow but it is leading you down the wrong stream. Some people live there lives in this deep duty filled stream, not knowing anything but the next chore for another. In a weird way it ‘works’ but as we have all have stated above, there is no joy in living like this.
Yes Sarah. There is not only no joy there is no real connection with anyone or anything as in this state we are very much in own heads and not feeling what is going on. Everybody misses out on each other.
Yes Kathleen and this is everyones responsibility, not just the person that is in ‘duty’ mode. We all read things and feel things in people all the time and can tell when someone is out of rhythm or stretching themselves too thin, if we then accept and encourage them to live like this then… should we ask ourselves are we any better?
I see your point Sarah, aiding and abetting in a big thing. In the media through advertising we are encouraged to ‘soldier on’ regardless of how we are feeling. Pop a pill and keep going, We have to get back to making everything about people first.
Yes Kathleen and the way we make it about people first is by making sure the people all around us really count, advertising that goes on ‘out there’ is only a reflection for what goes on in our closer relationships. I am relating this aiding and abetting to how I have treated my nearest and dearest over the years.
Too right Sarah and this always stems back to how we are treating ourselves.
I really like that Sarah. We all have the responsibility to live together in a harmonious and joyful way. I can really feel the love in that for if we let others run their ‘duty stream’, we are actually letting them be living a less full life than possible.
Yes Lieke and sometimes we don’t just let others run the duty stream but we actually encourage it, if we have some perceived gain from it that is. These days even if it is tempting and someone offers to help with the kids or do something thats needed, I always feel if it is actually them being true to what they have on also and just double check they are doing it for the right reasons and are taking care of themselves.
That is really beautiful and inspiring Sarah. It feels like a very honouring thing to do to others and it shapes our future way, as the more we collectively start to honour each other, the less space there is to be in disregard for everyone.
Yes Lieke van Haastrecht, it is the way of the future. Appreciation in how and what we do for ourselves and others will lead the way for a world that is more conducive with our natural state of love.
I agree Gail and I would go further in saying that when we do something out of duty not only do we not bring the full quality of what is possible but those we are doing it for can feel that there is a duty in what we do not a true support of them.
I agree and most of us go into this ingrained pattern of being dutiful without even noticing it. It is a big pattern to break but I am becoming more aware of it in my own life. I am recognising how my body feels against the push from thinking it is the right thing to do which is driven from a long held belief of not feeling worthy enough. Being dutiful comes from self as opposed to the feeling what is true in the moment and acting upon it.
For all the searching outside for a sense of me, from trying to fit in with my perceived sense of what people wanted, to trying to adhere to social expectation and norms, and all the while (I now realise) my true purpose and true me were waiting to express from the inside out! I have come to appreciate hugely the guidance and wisdom of my body as a flag and messenger about what is going on and what is needed next. Thank you, Lieke for your practical and gorgeous expression of this.
Same here matildaclark, I can also appreciate the wisdom and guidance of my body now that I listen to it which communicates with me all the time of what is currently at play and what is needed next.
The other day I visited a relative in a nursing home. He asked me to come back in a little while because he needed to sleep. I sat outside his room and realised what a loving thing that was for him to do and how I would struggle to do the same. Even with all that I know and feel, I would still sometimes have that niggle that I was missing out or that I was offending someone. It is truly time for me to claim that self care is far more important than this.
While I was sitting outside the room, several staff expressed their disapproval at his choice to sleep instead of being hospitable. I stated that I felt it was a very good idea to honour what your body needed to do. So my relative not only supported himself, but supported me to make better choices and gave others something to consider too.
Beautiful Amanda, just shows how when we support ourselves and put our needs first before others, how that reflection supports all others to make better choices too.
I agree jacqmcfadden04 how beautiful that one person’s choice to honour their bodies needs became an opportunity for others to learn and to make better choices.
What a great example Amanda of how social niceties such as politeness and being hospitable are what we expect from each other yet so far from what supports us all to be true to ourselves and look after our own physical health. As you show here, this is never at the expense of another.
I realised recently that I’ve blamed myself for what happens in the outside world and made it my fault, even when it had nothing to do with me. More specifically, if there was an emotion directed towards me as a child that was someone else’s issue, I would feel responsible, blame myself and therefore not feel good enough. However, tending to me and developing loving self care ways has confirmed that I am more than good enough in so many ways.
Its amazing how many people are tired, and yet refuse to consider adjusting their sleep schedule. It can take time – far more than going to be early once or twice, to reset your body clock and regenerate the body, but if you can make the commitment it is so beneficially
Yes it is amazing Rebecca, it is simple common sense to look at your sleeping patterns when tired but as you say that is not always embraced.
Thank you Lieke for sharing your great experiment of going to bed before 9.00 and observing the results in your body’s vitality etc. – I too have found the benefits are endless when having made this choice of behaviour and have it now become a ‘normal’ part of my daily rhythm. I too wake refreshed ready to greet the day.
It is the greatest moment when we start to challenge how we have lived and make it about honouring our feelings instead of abandoning them. I love how we then grow simply by placing importance on how we feel.
So true Felicity, in the past I did everything to abandon my feelings and now that I am honouring my feelings, and expressing them, this has created a huge positive impact on all areas of my life.
True Lieke, I feel so tired when I am not honouring my body and that includes having too much sleep! Yet when I follow through on all the feelings I get from my body, the amount of energy and abundance I have is quite extraordinary.
Yes I agree Dean, too much sleep can make us feel tired, which shows us that it is about the quality of sleep that counts not the quantity.
“I felt how making a commitment to going to bed on time had a direct effect on how I felt the next day.” this is something simple but the effects on our health and wellbeing are huge and it is our commitment to ourselves that creates the consistency and flow that truly supports us in life.
I can imagine that a lot of people can relate to what you have shared in how it is so easy to go into pleasing others at the expense of yourself.
It is great when we discuss things openly with others, like you did with your dad because in talking to him about it, he does not feel rejected and understands that you want to study and then you both feel great because no one is rejected or compromised.
Expressing really does change everything.
It is so important to honour what feels right for your body.
I don’t have a strict bed time, but I have a routine that I follow everyday, it is my way of preparing my body for sleep. By 8 o’clock I don’t work on the computer anymore, or watch movies or do things with my daughter. I instead take the dog for a walk and then take care of me. I like to shower and put cream on my body and to be with me so no matter how busy I have been throughout the day, I make time for me each evening to check in and re -connect. I also have been starting to just lie in my bed and take a few moments to appreciate my day and myself. At first this was weird but I now love all the things that I used to let pass without giving them any thought. We have so much to appreciate in life yet often we don’t stop enough to enjoy them.
Rosie this is gorgeous, thank you for sharing your evening rhythm.
Rosie, what you have shared with us here is so inspiring. I love being in bed by 9pm but my rhythm leading up to getting myself in bed needs adjusting. I can feel how supporting it is to make this time to honour ourselves before going to sleep. Thank you.
‘We have so much to appreciate in life yet often we don’t stop enough to enjoy them.’
So well said Rosie – often I can be so caught up in ‘working stuff out’ or processing what I think are issues that I don’t allow time to see that everything I need is there, materially and intellectually. I am all that I need and have made a gorgeous life for myself so far. There is indeed much to appreciate about myself, who I am, where I am from and the life I am choosing to live. A call for more stop moments… my answer is a big fat YES.
That is so true Rachael that line stood out for me too, I can often be so busy and yeah acknowledging that it is amazing what I am doing but not really really feel it. This is actually quite self abusive I can see now.
How truly lovely that you take the time to support yourself so consistently every night. Very inspiring, thank you for sharing Rosie.
‘Early to Bed- Early to Rise – Makes you Healthy, Wealthy and Wise’
My Grandma’s favourite saying So true it is!
Choosing to make the changes as you have Lieke, and committed to it has brought an amazing outcome and well worth the time to really connect in with your body and what it is asking for. Beautiful.
I am always fascinated how easily we can do thing our body doesn’t feel like doing from a sense of obligation or not wanting to let people down. More often than not if I have changed plans because I have felt better placed elsewhere people have understood and accepted this. Yet the fear of retribution for going against the grain can still arise.
The ‘fear of retribution’ always wants a foothold, on top of which I have a fear of rocking the status quo and the reactions this may cause. This has less and less traction though as I realise with ever more clarity how dysfunctional and unsupportive the status quo is, for all of us. So now, if I have a motto, it is ‘rock away’!
Umm “… rocking the status quo”… I have certainly been living in a way to keep the peace, finding it very difficult to speak up in fear of another’s reaction but things are changing! I do get a little nervous when I express as I re-imprint but as matildaclarke points out and what I am beginning to realise more than ever is not only the extent of how unsupportive the status quo is but that every time we hold back we feed the status quo supporting it to remain the same. How unloving and abusive is that! So yes I’m with you, it is time for us to ‘rock away’!
Matildaclark those words ‘fear of retribution’ resonate with many I am sure, I am learning just how immensely sensitive I am to anything that is not at the very least gentle and that I have been protecting this sensitivity rather then learning to deal with it. In the end what hurts more is the holding back and not the sting when something is not loving.
I love these comments and the point that the status quo is not supportive. It is great to realise this as I have found it is then so much easier to make a commitment to what I would like to have as the status quo in the world. Feeling that that is not just for me but for everyone really. We do create what we get so better make sure we are creating a life that is loving and true.
It’s a little crazy how much effort we put in to maintain a status-quo that’s not even working.
Yes, it is so harming to do things to please another, it is a beautiful thing to start to honour what feels true and in doing this it supports all, even if at first some people may take some time to get used to this new way of being.
I know ‘the fear of retribution’ too Abby – it can feel like when we let this rule our choices that we are being controlled by external forces or circumstances but I have found it is actually me trying to control things. I am the one trying to control so I can the outcome that I want and need. I might need someone’s approval or want to get a promotion at work etc.
“Even though it was a great start to make a commitment to go to bed on time, I could feel that I also had to look at the way I was living during my day; it was not just about the fact that I did not sleep enough.” I too have been realising that it is not just about ticking boxes – getting to bed early etc – but about the quality of how I have lived each day – and my body is showing me how I have been dishonouring of myself. Time for different choices.
I can so relate to this Lieke, feeling tired during the day and saying to myself that I am going to bed early at night, but then get a ‘second wind’ after work and go way beyond the time I feel to sleep. I find when I’m tired everything seems bigger than what it really is, and I feel this odd sense of not caring about anything…. yet this is completely the opposite to how I usually feel. I have been feeling to make more of a commitment to how I prepare for bed and how I sleep, thanks for the inspiration.
Yes, that ‘second wind’ is lethal! Only last night I was feeling very tired and wanted to crawl into bed, but I thought I was hungry so I ate some food. That food gave me my second wind which kept me going for another hour, adding to my exhaustion. I woke up feeling a little groggy which I didn’t like and know was related to my choices the night before. I realise deeply now that my desire for food before bed is not hunger, it is my body asking for stimulation so it can stay awake if I’m not taking it to bed on time!
Oh, that ‘second wind’ – lethal is a great word for it Suzanne A. Everyone has experienced it, and I even used to be a bit baffled by it until Serge Benhayon explained how we can trigger our nervous system to over ride tiredness and exhaustion. After this, I really got to see it in action. If I pushed on when I was tired and did not honour my tiredness by moving with more care or going to bed early, not only would I not feel tired, I would feel wide awake and find myself going to bed even later when I really needed to be in bed earlier.
Great comment Aimee, “I find when I’m tired everything seems bigger than what it really is, and I feel this odd sense of not caring about anything…. yet this is completely the opposite to how I usually feel.” I have been a little ignorant about it at times but my bedtime does really have an impact on how I feel big time. So indeed how simple is it to make a change in this by being honouring of our body when it is time to go to bed?
I got a little clue from this Lieke thank you. When I am tired and push through, what I am doing becomes more about “getting it done”, so my movements are more functional and less connected. I move more abrasively, harden and shut down my heart when I make getting something done more important than how I do it. If there really is no energy to move gently then it shows that the body really does need to be honoured with rest or sleep.
Honouring my feelings; these simple yet powerful words really resonate with me.
I love the way you have learnt to honour your feelings and have committed to constantly take responsibility to listen to your body.
A wonderful reflection for us all Lieke, thank you for sharing.
It’s so awesome that you found the courage to say a respectful ‘no’ to your Dad, Lieke. Beautiful work, and clearly done in a way that did not offend. And even if he had reacted, I suspect you would have held true to the path you had set for yourself. Women, we need to be really strong in learning how to do this too.
I would say this is something that applies to us all men and women. To both honour ourselves and each other and to communicate lovingly and openly to each other. It is very beautiful how Lieke described her interaction with her father and he was completely fine with it. So very often we are actually projecting all sorts of things onto to the other and creating all issues that don’t even exist until we invent them!
What you write is so true and HUGE Shireley-Ann. Rejection is a massive issue and reaction trigger for almost everyone to different degrees and yet it is actually impossible. Imagine if these tinted glasses were removed and everyone woke up free of rejection how the world would completely change!
Further on the subject of rejection there is a great free audio (3rd down) and quote below it here: http://www.unimedliving.com/voice/audio-by-category/men-audio/men-audio-editors-choice.html and how rejection affects men in particular.
The changes that can happen in relationships when one openly and honestly expresses their needs can be astounding. I experienced this last year when a very dear person in my life expressed truthfully what she needed, which I could have taken as rejection, but because I stayed open and loving to her and respected her needs something was lifted from between us, opening us to more honesty, love and respect for each other. Through taking the somewhat frightening step to honour her needs, and my remaining open and loving in reply, a heaviness that had been there for some time was lifted and replaced with a lightness and understanding for each other which continues to deepen and expand.
Yes rosemarydunstan, understanding brings a lot of love to relationships. I am understanding others more and more and I feel less hurt because of that in situations and I feel more love between us instead.
Rosemary Dunstan, your experience with your friend highlights how we can let our relationships (of any kind) get heavy, foggy and rest in a quagmire when we hold back expressing and communicating when the potential is there for love, truth and lightness between people. I have heard a friend explain dealing with these situations as ‘being an adult’ or ‘a grown-up’, actually being responsible to ourselves and another by bringing the things that are not flowing to the table for discussion.
‘A few days into my experiment I began to note that I started to be a little less consistent with going to bed on time. It was like the excitement of starting something new had faded and the initial improvements in my wellbeing and vitality were becoming ‘normal’.’ It’s so important that you point out this ‘hump’ Lieke. I’ve seen this phenomenon play out in myself and others time and again. The beginning phase of anything, when the thrill of the new pleases us, is easy. Having the discipline to continue what we set out to do beyond this is an essential part of the process.
Victoria, I feel you are introducing the word consistency without actually saying it. Are we prepared to be consistent knowing that what we are choosing to do supports us? As I have experienced that my discipline to introducing something to my rhythm can waiver, rather than becoming really solid and thus something I would not let go of.
Yes great point Sally. “Are we prepared to be consistent knowing that what we are choosing to do supports us?” I know this in me and feeling into it… it may have to do with a feeling of not being worth the beauty that comes when we truly make loving changes consistently to our lives. And then also the increased awareness that comes with this, am I willing to be more aware and thus more responsible?
I agree, Victoria, it seems really important to recognise the ‘hump’, I’m certain it’s experienced by most people as they try to give up cigarettes, alcohol, a particular food, or start a new exercise. To me it’s discipline that gets me over the hump. I think it needs to come from deep inside of myself – the desire to want something better or more supportive for my body and knowing that because I choose such for myself, then I am stronger and more available to support other people. It’s a bit like the phrase, ‘if you want something done, ask a busy person’; but in this case, it would be more ‘if you want to be more loving, watch someone who is already being loving with themselves’.
Beautifully put Suzanne: “if you want to be more loving, watch someone who is already being loving with themselves’.” inspiration is a great motivation.
Congratulations Lieke on this powerful reclaiming of you. I don’t think your gender is mentioned but I know you are a young woman – and for a young woman to come to the understanding that it is not only OK but ESSENTIAL we develop love of self before all else is nothing short of an everyday miracle.
I agree Victoria, so beautiful that Lieke and other amazing young women have discovered this essential wisdom in the spring of their lives and are quite an inspiration for their peers.
I have to agree Victoria and iljakleintjes, it is truly wonder-full to see such young women as Lieke come to develop a sense of themselves, knowing that self love is the basis of all true relationship, they are an inspiration to us all.
Well said Victoria. As women, we’ve lived under such heavy cultural impositions to be there for ‘everyone else’ first and foremost. The ‘martyr’ who denies herself and what she needs to truly care for her body is celebrated and championed…
Yet clearly this doesn’t work – women are suffering, our physical and mental health is not doing so well at all… Enter the work of Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and Esoteric Women’s Health, and we realise that there IS another way. So beautiful to read of Lieke’s claiming of this – that she needn’t compromise herself for others. The love of self is indeed ‘essential’, as you say Victoria. And ‘everyone else’ then reaps the benefits of a woman who is not depleting herself, but full, whole and amazing.
Lieke I also find that my preparation time before bed is super important, sometimes I get distracted and even though I might be in bed by 9pm my mind is still active, and my sleep is not as deep as it is when I take the time to unwind.
I agree Sally, the wind down time is key to supporting a deep and nourishing sleep and in the past I needed to start this in the late afternoon not just the 1/2 hour before bed. As I come to live more in respect of my body and what it is telling me during my day the end of my day wind down naturally happens gently, I rarely feel tired and bedtime is felt clearly from the connection with my body.
If I go to bed after 9pm these days I really feel tired and easily exhausted the next day. Before sleep I wind down through reading a paragraph or two of the Purple books of Serge Benhayon, they are so lovely to end the day on and I look forward to the next day through new eyes having been inspired by what I have read. Thank You Lieke
I can relate to pretty much all Lieke!. Thank you for sharing your experience and organizing its body. What I felt after reading it, is how simple it really is to live from the body, and how much we digress from this way of living.. mainly because we live life from our mind, our pictures and the ideals we have on everything, all in order to fit in and guarantee feedback and confirmation from outside.
It is true Luz the body knows and listening to it makes our life so much simpler.
This is true Luz, sometimes (and perhaps more often than I would like to admit) I have had a clear sense of what I would like to do from my body, immediately followed by a thought to counter and justify taking another action. If the thought and not the body is acted on this has immediate consequences in the body too; energy levels drop, self-worth lowers and next time the body speaks there can also be an energy of giving up and letting the cycle repeat itself (and so on). This blog really makes sense of what it is ‘to give our power away.’
Yes Luz we complicate everything living from our minds, yet how simple to listen to our bodies, living our own truth, which invariably supports everyone around us.
“Honouring this feeling made space to do what I really felt was needed that day, which was much more supportive for me, and for everyone.” When we listen to our bodies and choose to trust what we feel the outcome invariably supports everyone involved.
Agree Rosemary this has also been my experience. If I override my body and do something for another to please them it invariably misfires. When I listen to my body and honour what I feel, then everyone is supported in ways that were not even obvious before.
Beautifully said Anne and I noticed your last line: “then everyone is supported in ways that were not even obvious before.” Especially the ‘not even obvious’ before stands out to me. We cannot think or imagine with our mind how things will be for us or others in the future but our body knows and listening to its messages brings a lot of wisdom and truth in which everyone is supported equally.
So true Rosemary when we listen to our own bodies we not only are taking care of ourselves we are taking care of all around us. It is beautiful really.
The love that we are held in at all times connects each and everyone of us in all that we do, and when we make choices that support our health and wellbeing we are inspiring others to make those same choices. So beautiful and simple really.
Well said Rosemary and Lieke. Exposed here is the strong cultural push for us to put ‘everyone else first’ (especially as women). But if we do so, does ‘everyone’ truly get the fullness of all that we are, or a lesser and compromised version?
I would far rather the former, and from experience, I know my capacity to actually be there for others is only greatly enhanced by honouring my body and all that feels true.
Absolutely Victoria, when we are truly there for ourselves, honouring our bodies and what feels true, we are so much more for everyone, just by virtue of our emanating love and light, and through supporting ourselves we have so much more to give another.
It’s almost ironic that when we dis-honour what we feel to do to please another, ‘going out of our way’, ‘putting another first’ etc. we are actually doing another and ourselves a dis-service. Nobody gets to learn and grow this way, and stagnation festers.
Yes great point Deanne. It is like we have accepted as a human race that it is ok when people pretend they are fully enjoying helping us and with that turn a blind eye towards seeing how tired another person is when they are putting us first. Probably because we do not want to see what is truly going on but also because we are not aware of the fact that if we open our eyes we could be opening up a window for true healing and a way of living with each other in which we feel truly vital and able to support each other.
Thank you for sharing this Lieke. I have found that the way I prepare for bed and how I feel as I lay down is the way I wake up the following morning. If I have had a day of running around in nervous energy or raciness and I take this to bed, then when I wake in the morning I can still feel this carrying on from the previous day. If I put myself to bed with love, in stillness, then I wake with this same love and stillness the next morning. This is of great importance in developing supportive rhythms.
Very true Lee. I have that experience too, I find if I go to bed racy, I wake up racy and have to deal with the raciness in the morning.
Awesome experience Lieke. Your blog reminds me of my self-care experiment nearly 3 years ago. I was the same, feeling inspired by fellow students of Universal Medicine, I stopped eating gluten, dairy, sugar and drinking caffeinated tea, I was interested to see how I would feel. I didn’t drink alcohol or smoke, so food was what I used to not feel how exhausted I was and I definitely used food for comfort. By changing what I ate back then just naturally lead me to going to bed early as I made a commitment to listen to my body more and more. Now, I feel so energised and amazing, there is no way I would go back to my old ways of living. This was one of the best things I have ever done for myself, because everything in my life started to hugely improve as a result of my choices. Your blog will inspire people to do the same, to listen to their body, to their feelings and take self-care to a deeper level.
It’s such a simple thing, going to bed early, but hugely significant in terms of how we feel. Your experiment is a perfect example of this. Experiments like this are a great way to show ourselves the benefits of making changes to our lifestyles.
It is so cool how you have presented this blog Lieke. From first making a commitment to experiment with a self-loving choice, then being honest about why that commitment was challenging, you were able to get to the underlying reason behind the late nights and general feeling of tiredness throughout your day: wanting to please people and let the outside world run your life. The beautiful gift of honesty and honouring – thank you for sharing.
This experiment can be applied to many other areas of our life not just in sleep as any area we do not honour our body is draining and deeply exhausting of us. A fact that many may loath to hear but it is one that is becoming more and more pertinent every single day.
You are so right Joshua, we do loath to hear the truth, as the way we have been living feels so comfortable and right and we do not make the connections between how we are living and the manifestation of it. This seems to me to be because we live most of it out of touch with our bodies. I learned a lesson from Serge Benhayon a few years ago when he said to me “Body first”. When I choose to live within and from my body and not my mind then I have energy, the day flows, my movements are gentle and I sleep peacefully.
The bottom line is responsibility. Even as adults we can say we are ‘responsible’ because we have ‘grown up’, but true responsibility is beyond just what one is allowed to do, and it can be the most resisted.
Beautiful Lieke, you have made it so clear that going to bed at 9pm every day is not the complete picture, but that the way we hold ourselves in love and choose to feel what is right for us at any given moment and refuse to be distracted, honours us and therefore everyone benefits. It can be so hard to say “No” when we feel we are going to offend or disturb, or even miss out on something we would really like to do. Really discerning what is needed for our own well-being, and committing to that, develops a consistency in everyday living. Then, as you say, we have energy that is natural and not hyperactive, and go quietly to bed.
That’s very true Joan. Everything about how we live during our day will affect our sleep and how we sleep will influence our day and Lieke’s commitment experiment is a perfect example of this.
Great experiment Lieke and the outcome is life changing if you continue to listen to your body, trust what you feel and put what you need before the needs of others.
Trusting in what you feel allows a flow of the day to occur, and in that the trust builds further and slowly but surely life transforms.
Something so simple can have such a profound affect on the way we feel, not only because the act itself is great (eg going to bed early) but making the choice to do something simple because it’s caring for yourself to do it can make you feel so much better about yourself, especially as many people are so used to putting work or family or friends before themsevles, that having one thing in their day just for them is amazing.
Yes I agree Rebecca, it is sometimes just committing to one thing for ourselves in the day that can make already a huge difference in how we feel.
Lieke what you have shared about honouring your body and not doing things to please others or to not stand out is absolutely huge. They are just a few words strung together but when they are lived they have the power to radically change life as we know it.
Yes absolutely huge Alexis yet so simple… I know without a doubt that when I go with what others want from me and not honour my feelings I feel completely drained and exhausted.
Hi Lieke, in your writing I can feel how self-loving and self-empowering the choices are you made – to not ignore and override what your body was telling you and not let yourself be run by the outer world, but to honour your body and stay with what you were feeling. Very healing to read.
I enjoyed reading Lieke about the times when you have honoured what you are feeling and went with that instead of overriding it and going with what others want. For years I would just go along with everyone else regardless of what I had planned for myself, but now I am more likely to ask myself the question ‘what do I feel to do?’ and then go along with that, instead of instantly agreeing with another.
“I felt how making a commitment to going to bed on time had a direct effect on how I felt the next day”, and what is also wonderful is how we can learn from our responsive bodies what does not feel good as well, and then be able to make a different choice, to continue that commitment to a different way.
Paying attention to what we feel in a honouring way is helping to realise that there is so much that our body tries to tell us. We have an in-build detector that knows what is right and wrong, what to eat, to move, to think, to work… this way we can go through our day trusting to this inner connection and communication with our body is all it needs – surrendering to our inner knowing – the wisdom of god.
Lovely to hear you taking yourself seriously Lieke, and also the power of saying No to this and that so you can stay focussed on what is important. While this may seem negative at first, the world gets the benefit of someone who is more themselves the next day and the next day, with a greater capacity for love and more bounce in their every day.
Great blog Lieke. Your sharing is such a excellent recipe to become more vital and joyful. It is so crucial not to override our feelings and to feel every moment, what everybody needs in this moment and also what do I need in this moment and to find a good balance between the two.
I’ve noticed that either the active physical body or the racy active head has the capacity to lead the person to exhaustion. There is nothing more gorgeous than a living rhythm of love and awareness to keep your bucket full and not put holes in the bucket.
It does make such a difference building up our own supportive rhythm to our Livingness and having that connection with our body enhances our ability to support it, and we can always go deeper with our connection and our support.
Going to bed around 9 really does make a difference to the quality of my sleep, I don’t always make it but when I do, the difference I feel in the morning is really noticeable. I don’t need an alarm to wake me and I don’t struggle to get up and I am ready for the day ahead.
I feel the same Alison, ‘ I don’t need an alarm to wake me and I don’t struggle to get up and I am ready for the day ahead.’ I find that if i go to bed at 9pm then I wake up easily and feel lighthearted and am ready for what the day brings. What i also can feel is that for me it is important to have some wind down time before going to bed, I have found that I can’t look at the computer after 8pm or eat anything after 8pm, if I do I find it harder to go to sleep and it affects the quality of my sleep.
Me too Alison. For example last night I went to bed a little later than 9pm, and ended up waking up during the night and feeling much more tired this morning than when I usually am in bed reading from 8.45pm or so… An hour or so can make a huge difference to my sleep!
Yes I found this too Susie, it can sometimes be just half an hour after 9pm but it makes such a difference in how I feel in the morning.
I am experiencing this just this morning! Last night I stayed up about 45 minutes later than usual to do editing for a film – which I probably could have done another time – and the effect on my body is huge!
Yes I know that one too Susie, the ‘I have to do this now’ sometimes it is true but as you say there will probably be another moment to do it that will be much more honouring of our bodies.
Simple and it works. It is incredible how an early night to bed can rejuvenate, restore and replenish us and can support clarity of mind, purpose and commitment.
Yes, alisonmoir, it’s the same for me too. No movie can entice me anymore these days to stay up late, as they used to, once upon a time! I’m more important than any movie these days….
The combination of that attention to being ready for bed at 9pm and the opening up to listening to how we feel, what gets in the way and what else this triggers in terms of self-awareness and care, is life changing. No longer pulled and pushed by life I am becoming my own master, in rhythm with life.
This is great Lieke and just goes to show that by making simple changes to our daily routine like going to bed earlier, can have huge effects on how we support ourselves for the day. It sets us up for a loving rhythm for life. Awesome.
I agree Kelly often it is the seemingly smallest things that we do to support ourselves which can have the biggest knock on effects on our lives.
Often we look for giant things, like going on a detox, or undertaking a new exercise routine, or changing jobs when we want to make a change in our lives for the better. Yet this simple (but profound) tip of sleep and rise early can change everything.
Listening to the body or pushing through is a great area to explore. I know its something worth paying more attention too, when I push through I can often not notice the ramifications until it hits me with an illness or condition.
I agree, Kristy. It is a challenge sometimes to let go of the push and the drive I am in and when I let go sometimes anxiousness turns up. When I feel this it teaches me to trust and let go and surrender to the loving and still energy I can feel deep inside of me.
I’ve always enjoyed and felt very committed to early nights – yet I am waking with tiredness still. This is really showing how I have been the day before and the quality of sleep I am allowing for myself. If I eat too close to sleep I feel stimulated throughout the night and wake unrested. Or if I have not let go of my day this is still playing out in my head as I wake. There are so many factors to good rest and the marker of going to bed early has shown this to me as I am getting enough sleep but it’s the quality I must look at.
Absolutely Rachael – there are many factors which affect the quality of our sleep. Having a regular and supportive pattern of sleep allows us a foundation upon which to reflect what the particular choices might be, that we have made in the last 24 hours to influence the quality of the rest we allow ourselves at night.
Great comment Rachel, I can totally relate. I have consistently been going to bed before before 9pm and I have also noticed the same thing. At times when I wake up feeling exhausted, I can often pin point what has caused this from looking at my previous day and often it’s over eating, taking on emotional stuff from my relationships, moving and working with tension in my body and not being connected to myself. The quality of how I live the previous day affects the quality of my sleep, the quality of how I am and feel the next day. So, it’s a constant cycle, one thing affects the next and by being aware, I can make different choices to correct what didn’t work for me previously and make choices that do support me in feeling amazing again.
Great point Rachel, I feel it is commitment is so important as it allows me to focus on the detail of the quality that I bring moment to moment and develop a more intimate relationship with myself and everything that I do as part of my day.
Life really takes a turn when we don’t please people but are loving with them and ourselves. The two often look very similar but it makes a huge difference how we and they feel.
Indeed Christoph on the surface pleasing people and being loving with them may look like one and the same, but in fact the two are very different.
Pleasing someone means to ease their lives, not confront them.
Being loving means really supporting the other in whatever he or she does. This does not mean taking their workload or solving their problems, but holding them, being there and allowing everyone what he or she needs to hear without wanting to protect them from anything as most often we learn the most out of the situations that first seemed like a mistake.
I love this Christoph, they may not look much different but the difference in the feeling between the two is incredible.
This is a great point Christoph, the difference felt between pleasing or loving others, and ourselves, may not seem apparent at first, but once experienced the difference in what is felt is huge.
I love that you discussed with your dad your concerns and found out he was fine going alone, if we express openly and share with others they know that we do consider them even if we decide we cannot do what they ask, and often they will respect our choice and appreciate our consideration. To me this is a key to letting others in but not over riding our own feelings to accommodate them.
Yes so true, when we are honest about what we feel in our body and communicating it when it feels complicated or wrong. This opens a deeper level of communication and understanding.
Beautifully said timrobinson, I love what you shared. It is absolutely key and supportive for all involved, without needing to justify but just consider, whilst not overriding what is true for one self.
That’s awesome Tim. And so often you find that when you just do what is actually right for you – the other person feels the relief of not having to live u to the false expectation of the other any way!
Thanks Lieke, that is a great sharing, and when we are honouring our body in the connection to our inner self we feel what is needed at the day, this is much supportive for self, and for everyone. The quality of work we do in this connection and awareness is very powerful.
It is Monika, I have found this to be profound and an ongoing development. It is quite amazing to work on the quality of our connection. If this was taught in school I would have been much more present and can feel I would have enjoyed school.
All my life (or at least most of my life) I’ve been under the illusion that being with me while being with others is just not possible. Since a few weeks I am experiencing that I do have a choice to be with me while I am with others. Which also allowed me to see and admit how many time I am actually hardening (or protecting) myself while being with others. My shoulders are often not surrendered or relaxed. One of the reasons I found out today is that I had a strong belief that I can’t be angry, hard or frustrated. So I’ve done everything to not feel those emotions. When I told it to somebody today, he instantly pointed out that these emotions are actually very natural. Which is true, a relief in one way, but also confronting. I’m sure there will much more unfold. One thing is beautiful allready and that is that I am feeling both my Love and the hardness in me. I’m tempted to focus on the hardness, but I’m starting to see that it is a choice and that connecting to my Love is connecting so lovely inside my body (touches me while writing this).
Beautiful comment Floris. So true how we can buy into an image of what we blieve we should be, but that image is actually very far from the truth. Feeling angry is natural, but it is not the truth of who we are. To get to that truth, perhaps we need to feel the anger so that we can deal with it, look at what we are angry at, so that we are one step further down the road that is about living more from our love than our hurts.
I’m with you Bina, I too choose “super early nights” whenever possible and find the benefits super good. As you say, “It is so so worth it.”
I agree, it works!
I am inspired by what you write, Lieke. Lately I have been feeling a huge amount of overwhelm, trying to please other people rather than discerning what is truly right for me, and overriding how I truly feel. It is exhausting! I can also relate to that feeling of trying something new and getting “bored” once it starts to feel “normal”. What I am slowly coming to understand is that it is all about consistency, no matter what. It is not about waiting until you feel ill or exhausted, to make a change. Make a change to look after yourself today, because you care about, and love yourself.
That could be the recipe for many ills and diseases in the world; take one level tablespoon of looking after yourself, loving yourself, honouring your body, express what you feeling, and going to bed early. This would be a great life lifechanging medicine a doctor can prescribe.
Perhaps your recipe could be passed onto the world Monika, for it is surely one that will truly nourish.
Yes very well said sallypiller. I often only make a change when I am feeling the effect on my body already like feeling overwhelmed or exhausted. It is true that we can love ourselves and care for ourselves today so we know we will be ourselves tomorrow too.
Wow, imagine of this was taught in a fitness class or down the gym? Your discovery about a way of living that truly supports you Lieke in all aspects of your life is revolutionary and life changing.
What you’re sharing is great – I know so many people who put what everyone else wants first even if it isn’t want they want to do, and it’s something I’m learning not to do, and to not feel guilty about it
The rest and regeneration that comes from sleep when sleep time is used in the rhythm that honours the body is magnificent. This is the quality of sleep that nurtures deeply.
So simple isn’t it Mathew. Just honouring the rhythm that is pretty obviously the natural one for us – like going to bed when its dark and waling up early after a good night’s sleep is fairly obviously good for our health!
Thank you Lieke. Due to my rhythm and workload I have on at the moment I’m finding it difficult to go to bed by 9pm. I have made it to bed by 9pm some nights and I have woke up feeling glorious the next day. I agree with you Lieke how important it is to go to bed by 9pm. It makes a huge difference to the whole day. Something very simple with a profound outcome.
Yes Rik, it is so important to commit to ourselves in some way when our days are very full. I find finishing my day on time, as it is practically possible, is a great way to do this and as you say going to bed at 9pm just is very good for our bodies.
“Paying attention to these little feelings and honouring them is the key to staying with myself and feeling vital throughout my day.” This is so important to be reminded of; anxiety creeps in for me around being concerned what people think. Thank you.
The little feelings and tugs of our inner knowing are precious and to be honoured wherever possible, but without perfection.
Leike this blog is pure gold, so simple and practical. When you wrote “A few days into my experiment I began to note that I started to be a little less consistent with going to bed on time. It was like the excitement of starting something new had faded and the initial improvements in my wellbeing and vitality were becoming ‘normal’.” I pondered on this phenomenon in general sense, as this is something I quite often find myself doing. So I asked myself why and then continued reading. By the end of your blog I realised the reason I fade off after the initial burst of energy is because I was doing whatever it was to achieve something or have an outcome. I was not truly doing it for me to support me rather I was doing it because it sounded like a good idea that might make things better.
This can so easily slip in for me, ‘ I was doing whatever it was to achieve something or have an outcome. I was not truly doing it for me to support me rather I was doing it because it sounded like a good idea that might make things better.’ Making it about what has to get done, rather than staying connected and honouring my body as I complete my tasks. A great blog Lieke.
This stood out for me too tonisteenson, as I also experience a drop in my commitment when introducing something new into my routine. I recently started gym and felt great after exercising, every time I wondered why I ever stopped going in the first place, but went for a month and have not been back for 2 months now. I feel its the same for me, my initial choice is because I can feel how much it will support my body but its not sustained because there is still an element of thinking I need to be better.
Just re-read your first line Lieke and I also tried out an experiment last month to go to bed super early and see what happened. Well to my surprise my quality of sleep felt deeper and I felt even more steady in the morning. I do not use alarm clocks generally as my body seems to know more than I do about what I need for that day ahead. I am learning to trust it more and so like a compass this body of mine actually guides me.
This super early bed allowed me to surrender more and by that I mean I allowed myself to go deeper by letting go to the point where my head was feeling blank. No nonsense or casual thoughts coming in. Of course life kicked in and it was not possible to continue it daily due to work and other commitments. However, I am now choosing those “super early nights” when it is possible instead of a TV evening or overeating session and Whoopee – I feel great the next day and the days after too. Its like a re-boot but in a true way and much needed. Love it !! I recommend early bed to the whole world. It is so so worth it.
Yes an early night is like a re-boot. I love them. Sometimes if I am really tired I can be in bed by 8pm!
Yes me too, and it feels so lovely, especially if my body is very tired.
Me tooo Rachel! In fact – If I’m really feeling like it – I love doing 7:30!
Thanks for your lines Bina. Going to bed early is like the greatest gift to ourselves. I should do this more often, thanks for reminding.
I agree, we should definitely share this with the whole world. It should be on the front page of newspapers. ‘How to feel amazing?….simply by going to bed early is one, next: choose to stop over eating…next: choose to stop over stimulating…so on and so on.’ It is incredible how many people are functioning on exhaustion and not really knowing how to break away from this cycle. This blog and so many comments hold the answers to our worldwide problem of high stress and exhaustion which are common contributors to illness and disease.
Love it Bina! My whole body is going ‘yes please, I need a re-boot!’. I find the overriding by doing more after my initial feeling to go to bed exhausts me even more and I wake up by an alarm and struggle to get out of bed.
“I do not use alarm clocks generally as my body seems to know more than I do about what I need for that day ahead.” This is brilliant Bina. It just made me remember that I sometimes wake up very early and then I most of the time choose to sleep till my alarm and then find in the morning I have not enough time to do everything that is coming up to be done in that morning. I feel inspired to go out of bed the next time when this happens.
Lieke I was really struck by your simple yet powerful observation that you had been letting the outside run your life for such a long time. It would seem that we are so conditioned to react to whatever prompts us in life, without stopping to consider from the felt sense what is needed in that moment.
Creating more of these loving moments in which to pause, reflect and feel is key to understanding how we are living.
In the corporate world, everything is run from the outside, and by the end of the day many people are looking for relief of some sort from the onslaught of being in reaction and at the mercy of others all day. Emails are one of the most common ways I find of giving up what I feel to be focused on and be distracted by something put in front of me. The grace of choosing what to attend to based on our inner knowing is something that can slowly develop in all areas of our lives.
Yes very true jennym. It is actually when I stop and observe what is going on that I can feel what is needed to do and sometimes that is nothing. this is so different than living in constant reaction to the world.
My sleep and the way I wake up feeling, is a really helpful reflection on how I lived my previous day. I find those moments after waking are a time to feel what’s happened, often when we have ignored something in the body during the day they show up the next morning as a reminder. We are amazing pieces of design – that deserve the attention to detail.
Yes agreed Rosanna… having a marker like this is very important, otherwise we just wander from day to day, and then year to year without ever realising the connection between choices made and the body’s response.
Well said Jenny, I have become aware that when I don’t take clear notice of the markers, the realisation can get lost and the old momentums keep going, until we consciously take a moment to stop again and re-assess, what is truly going on?
Yes exactly Esther… it takes a stop moment, whether we initiate that ourselves because things are just too hard, painful, complicated etc or whether it is done for us by way of accident, illness or injury… sadly few of us pull up the momentum that’s causing us so much harm until we are forced to in some way.
‘We are amazing pieces of design – that deserve the attention to detail.’ This is beautiful and so true Rosannabianchini.
Yes, truly amazing and something that I have taken completely for granted and not actually appreciated what we have, right here, all the time, with us. The most amazing companion and teacher that I’m now appreciating more and more as I get to know myself more intimately.
I know right – what a classic and beautiful line!
This is a great reminder Rosanna, to take time to reflect how I lived my previous day and how I now feel on waking.
Thanks for sharing your experiment Lieke. I love doing little experiments in my life like this and seeing the results. I find it interesting what comes up to block these experiments at times – the things that get in the way. It is interesting to see the results and then whether I commit to making the experiment a lasting change or not. I love going to bed early!!
I love going to bed early too Lee. It’s interesting to reflect on this because I have always loved going to bed early, but often overrode this. Hence falling asleep on the lounge to only wake up to go to bed to sleep. This was very disturbing. Now when I can I just go to bed when I am tired. It’s a beautiful supportive commitment that we can make for ourselves, that definitely has ramifications for the rest of our day.
Yes Lee, what a lovely experiment to do for ourselves and evaluating if the change is worth while implementing and building into your daily rhythm. If the results are so much confirming that going to bed early is very supportive, as it clearly is for me, why not allow this to be our natural rhythm and flow every day?
I love that Lee – and the great thing about it is that no one can tell you anything about who you are, your body, what works and doesn’t work – as you have discovered it for yourself. That is truly intelligent.
Yes I love these experiments too, they are great to learn something new, try something out and to support myself to implement something more loving in the way I am with myself. Like I am making the commitment at the moment to not doubt my feelings so much and just make the choice of what I first felt and then sticking with it and seeing if it was a true choice in time. As that will show in the end no matter what. Doubting and going back and forth about it is just costing a lot of time and energy.
It is a really beautifull realisation you had to look at how you lived in your day too; and then carry this out by honouring what you were feeling, bringing a lovely confirmation in how you felt the next day. This is a gentle reminder of something I very much need to look at, be with and change in how I am currently living in my day.
Yes Vicky and I feel this confirmation that is felt the following day if appreciated and noted offers the inspiration to take things a step further and evolve the situation to be even more in the coming day.
In reading this again today some vital words just popped out at me of which I REALLY needed to read and feel into. “a little less consistent” this has happened on several occasions and is the answer to why my natural flow is not always flowing quite so gently, and at times can pick up a momentum which takes a bigger ‘stop’ moment to address. Thank you Lieke. An awesome blog that I feel to visit often.
Thank you Lieke for your blog that reminds me that life is about refining and redefining all the little details that become part of my day. The more I become committed and responsible for these little details the more access I have to the wisdom that is forever part of our life as we gradually unfold and deepen our commitment and dedication to evolving back to our essence.
Lieke – this is a great blog to explore how you have enriched the relationship you have with yourself simply by allowing the space to feel what is needed and how your body is.
I too started off my journey of feeling less tired by going to bed earlier. Yes a massive help – but it was only just the beginning of continuing to look at the next thing that is keeping me from feeling vital all of the time. I am now looking at how I go to bed and confirming and honouring this each day as a means to go deeper. I am loving this ever expanding relationship I have with myself.
What a great experiment to choose. I know that when I go to bed when my body is tired, instead of staying up and watching TV, reading or working that I am feel so much more energy the next day as well as a much more solid and rejuvenating sleep.
I used to stay up and watch movies regularly but since choosing to listen to my body and going to bed early I don’t have time to or feel the need to watch anything. I feel it over stimulates me and makes me feel heavy afterwards. Occasionally I watch a movie but I have to be very aware of how it makes me feel. This feeling of heaviness is not appealing to me, and by being aware of how things make me feel, I can make supportive and loving choices that leads me to feeling light, energised, clarity, joyful and just simply amazing.
I love how you experimented with this; ‘Recently I began a self-care experiment by going to bed at 9pm for 9 days’. What feels really lovely about being a student of the Way of The Livingness is that there is an openness by people to experiment and not just accept things as they are, there is an openness to changing old patterns and behaviours, whether it be food choices, sleep times, exercise or how we communicate with others, it feels great to learn from each other and be inspired by each other in this way.
I love too being inspired by Liekes and other stories too. An openness to changing old behaviour patterns and and then sharing them for everyone to read is healing for everyone.
Yes the openness is key isn’t it?
I do love how we as students consider new ideas but take on board what we can see and feel works for our bodies. This is real empowerment, using our inner sense of what does and doesn’t feel supportive as a guide for life. Very empowering!
Lieke I realised also on my walk yesterday when you shared “I have been letting the outside world run my life for a long time.” There is a constant stream of things to do coming my way, yet that will always be the case – do I get into the constant motion of doing, doing, completing, thinking or do I honour myself first and make that the most important thing. Whenever I am in the former I am exhausted, the more I allow the latter the more vitality I have and actually the more space opens up to complete what is needed to be done.
So true David. I have fallen for the trap of letting the outside world run my life and doing, doing, doing. The quality of the doing has to be questioned when the doing is not done in connection with, and honouring of my body.
Perfectly expressed Lee – “The quality of the doing has to be questioned when the doing is not done in connection with, and honouring of my body.” Something to be aware of every day and checking in with that connection periodically will truly support us with this.
Yes I agree it does have to be questioned. I now always consider my body, it makes such a difference when I listen and value the feedback. Very worthwhile investing the time in yourself.
Yes David, the illusion of I will have ‘me time’ when I have done everything that I need to do is huge. It is in a way also a stepping back from life, not living with ourselves in the world when we just tick the boxes and keep finishing our ‘to do’ lists, which are as you say never ending! Therefore it is indeed vital to honour ourselves in all that we do so we can live as ourselves and not be a kind of robot just finishing tasks.
Looking at how we are during the day and how it affects our sleep is important, and we can become more aware of just how draining it is to do everything for approval and recognition, and how we put other’s needs before our own. Paying attention to and honouring what our body feels is energising.
That is so true Carmel; paying attention to and honouring what our body feels is energising. Its like recharging our batteries to be in service.
So True Carmel. It’s kind of absurd to think that what we live during the day would NOT effect our sleep?
Really it just makes complete sense!
Lieke, you are speaking here of your sleeping time but what I realise is that the principal you talk about can be adopted on every other situation in our daily lives. It is about finding out for oneself what works best for us to support our vitality and true connection to our bodies. Because this is the place where all answers lay in. This is the place where we experience life and this is the place where we are not only connected to ourselves but to all others too. Honouring someone by disrespecting oneself cannot work. Being honest about our initial feelings and expressing this to others is the key for an open communication. So yes the body knows it all.
Everything you write here Sonja is music to my ears, eyes, heart and being – from our bodies “we know”. It is worth exploring how to connect and make decisions from the body, especially the big decisions that can influence our lives for years to come that we tend to mull over with the mind.
This is a great blog Lieke, thank you for sharing about the 9 day programme, you’ve inspired me to give it a go. I like these words: “Paying attention to these little feelings and honouring them is the key to staying with myself and feeling vital throughout my day.” The body’s loving messages never fail us but when we override them even a couple of times during our day can have adverse affects on our vitality and wellbeing – we have a constant responsibility to choose love for our benefit and others.
Yes we certainly do have this responsiblility to choose love for ourselves first and then the ripple effect on others becomes obvious. I love how we can support others in such simplicity. We are always worth it.
Lieke, I love the fact that by talking with your father you were able to see he was fine with your choice. So often we override our own true feelings or needs, to accommodate or support another, thinking they will be hurt, lonely, angry, think less of us, that there is nobody else to support them, they won’t make it/ cope without us etc., only to find when we do say no, that they are actually fine with it, and often the support they need arrives from else where. When we override and don’t express our true feelings in regards to what is most supportive for ourselves to do, we are not expressing truthfully to ourselves, or the other, which does not expand either of us. In holding ourselves back we also hold the other back from the opportunity to feel all of us, and all of themselves, regardless of what they feel.
So often we attribute exhaustion to just being worked too hard. But the truth is that as human beings we are capable of working very hard without getting to the point of exhaustion. The issue is not that we work hard, but the way we go about our work that exhausts us. We go into anxiety, drive, nervous tension etc to get things done. We get ahead of ourselves, our mind is not where our body is at, and so we are forever trying to be ahead of where we can physically be. It is this as much as anything that exhausts us.
Once we learn to understand this and work with ourselves in this way during our day, life and it’s messages unfold beneath and around us. We are supported in every moment and we have an opportunity to deepen this level of support through our choices in all that we do.
Indeed Adam when there is a disconnect between the body and the mind we have lost the connection to an energy source which can never be depleted. However in that disconnect the mind tries to find a solution through the use of drive or nervous energy to close the gap only ever making it wider and causing depletion.
I agree Adam exhaustion arises from always thinking about the next thing ahead of us to do or our mind can even go so far ahead we may be thinking about something that is not going to even take place until six months in the future. Another thing I can spend a lot of energy thinking about while working is other people, whether this be my family or friends or simply a stranger that has walked past me. No wonder this is exhausting we are doing several things at once, which if you think about it this is like living several days in the one, now that’s exhausting.
That just about sums up the business world as I remember it Adam – particularly as I was working in television at the time! Anxiety, drive and tension were a way of life and adding in personalities that felt important made the whole thing very unreal. When I left that work, I couldn’t look at television without seeing the behind the scenes antics that I had encountered! It was exhausting, being in the studio late to get a recording finished, the late night parties to celebrate whatever the excuse was, plus drugs, alcohol and abusive behaviour. Yes humans are capable of working hard but it is hard to hold oneself in that energy. I didn’t have the benefit of the teachings of Serge Benhayon at the time but now would understand much more about what I was dealing with energetically and probably choose not to work there!
True true, Adam.. 🙂 work with joy and love what you do, even if by times complications may arise or things need to be cleared or reorganized, you do not get depleted. Bodily tired yes, but the purpose and the knowing that what you work makes a difference, gives you the energy that you need. Also our relationships to clients, customers, supplier etc. are beautiful to care of.
I agree Adam, the way we go about our work and live in every part of our day has a massive impact on how we feel, and consequently sleep and wake up the next day. It’s something well worth paying attention to.
So true Adam. I am at the moment really putting my attention on being in the moment with what I am doing. As you say what is most exhausting and creating anxiousness in our body is not being present with what we are doing. I find it a challenge at times to stay in the moment with what I am doing but practice makes progress and I am amazed by how spacious my days can be and how much there can be done in a day when I am with myself in the moment.
Great addition here to your blog Lieke and words to heed ‘…. practice makes progress…..’ We seem to overestimate our presence and assume we are present because we get some things done and underestimate the power of really being present with what we are doing, especially not falling for thoughts that distract us. The difference is held in the spacious quality you mention Lieke.
It is so true, Lieke, that when we have honoured ourselves and our feelings during the day, we then take that same feeling of self honouring and nurturing to bed with us, also, Then our sleep and repose time becomes a confirmation of our honouring and nurturing and feels very lovely. This is so very different to dragging oneself to bed exhausted, or still in reaction to disturbing events of the day…it is difficult to even approach sleep in that emotional state and, when sleep comes, it is typically restless and agitated.
The point you make about staying true to what you feel for your day rather than pleasing everyone by falling into their rhythm is a very good one. I find it is a balance between committing to what I need but also remaining open to all those around me and what may arise if I adjust my plans to let them in.
Lieke you have described a process I imagine we all go through when implementing self loving changes in our daily rhythm. There is an initial enthusiasm which wanes as our previous momentums trick us into sliding back into them; we feel ‘I’ve got it now” and so we relax. As you say, the change quickly becomes normal and then we are required to look deeper as to what adjustment is required next.
Yes Emmadanchin, I know that trick very well and clock it now instead of tripping over it. The ‘I’ve got it now’ is such a giveaway of the spirit to think it’s done it’s job now we can settle back into comfort – but the Soul knows we are ever deepening and always refining to build more and more love in our bodies, this is endless and something the spirit feels allergic to.
I love how honouring your feelings made space for you and supported you and everyone else around you. I know I can go into drive to get what I think needs to be done when actually there is a lot more play to be had about when to do things and how that comes with honouring my feelings and trusting them.
Yes so true Karin, logically to get more done we should work faster, longer, harder etc. but in reality this does not work if we do not honor our bodies at the same time. I found I can do a lot but have to honour my body otherwise the next day I am so tired that I cannot do much at all anymore, not so efficient as I thought to be the day before!
What is wonderful about listening to our body and honouring our feelings, is that the more we do it, the more our body seems to speak to us. And we are slowly and lovingly guided through a forever unfolding path back to living everything we ever deeply wanted – loving, open and expressing as the Sons of God that we are.
Golnaz I totally agree, the more we listen too our body and honour our feelings the more our body speaks to us, giving us the opportunity to go deeper within ourselves. We are so beautifully guided back to our path of who we truly are with love and openess.
‘I can now feel how choosing to live in a way that doesn’t honour my body makes me feel exhausted and tired, whereas living in a way that consistently honours my body and my feelings I have more energy to do whatever is needed.’
Lieke I have experienced this also. When I am consistently honouring my body the day is smooth and easy.
As I read your blog again Lieke, this is what leaped out for me.
‘I realise that I have been letting the outside world run my life for a long time. I would override my feelings and go with what everyone around me told me to do. By changing this behaviour I began to realise that I had learnt this as a child: I did not want to hurt anyone by following my own feelings, or by being amazing even if others were not feeling amazing etc. This made me feel uncomfortable!’
How true this felt for me – as a child I would try to please others, not wanting to hurt their feelings, often over-riding my own feelings to make them feel better. I know now that I could feel their sadness, lack of self-worth, anger and other emotions. I did not know that it was not my fault or responsibility to try and make it better!
Very true Lorraine. I also did not know it was not my job to make others feel better. If ask myself why I didn’t know, I can only say that I had the same lack of self-worth running in me that drove me to want to please others.
This is great timing as yesterday I felt overwhelmed by a ” time line on a project” which in turn depleted my energy, today I will be loving in honouring my choices and allow the day to just be without going into the picture of the future. Strange thing is in my body I know I can complete what’s needed if I stay honouring my rhythm.
I totally understand what you mean in the difference in vitality and energy between both going to bed early and also living in a way that puts you first (but not in a selfish way, obviously). Thank you for putting this into words, it’s exactly how I feel as well
Yes Lieke it’s certainly different choosing in each moment to be present and from there make our choice to support our body first rather that be responsive to every request. The body is so ready to support us if we support and choose it first.
It is important to stop pleasing other people and therefore overriding what feels right in a situation, even if it might be challenging first to start communicating to somebody how we feel. But it is a great step to do.
“I had to make a seemingly difficult choice – I didn’t want to let my dad down but also did not want to override my own feelings.” It is interesting when we try to calibrate to another…we make ourselves less and assume something of another which may not even be true. It is often the fear of anothers reaction that makes us calibrate, and in that calibrating comes the difficulty of making a choice. However if we remain with what is true for us and express this to the other person, the truth of what we say is felt and there is no reaction – it is an easy choice.
That is a great point Paula: “It is often the fear of anothers reaction that makes us calibrate, and in that calibrating comes the difficulty of making a choice.” I can relate to this, life gets really complicated when I do not stay with what is true for me, though if I simply feel what is going on and not react it is in fact an easy choice. The complication really comes from not honouring my feelings in the first place.
So true Paula, how much time and energy do we waste on pre-determining another person’s response when all we need to do is simply say where we are and what our preference is. Having been a bit blunt about it in the past, I am gradually learning how to gracefully state what is correct for me and am appreciating that when I share my feelings, it often corresponds exactly to another person’s requirements, no fuss or bother. Lieke’s article for me highlights just how complicated and draining we can make our lives by not following what we truly feel in the moment.
Beautifully said Paula, when we speak what is true and right for us in any moment, there is the opportunity for the other to feel the truth and then choose to align or react.
What a great lesson to learn at 24 – all those nights (and days) ahead of you to be filled with stillness, joy and vitality. Pretty Cool. Awesome work.
Exhaustion is the doorman who lets confusion, off-rhythm, mental thoughts etc. in. To me this buddy needs to be replaced by rhythm and anything one requires self-love*
Absolutely Christinahecke, when we let exhaustion drain us we have given ourselves away already to a controlling energy that lives on our vitality.
True, Monika2808! That’s why consistency is a helpful tool to set a rhythm leading to a way of living where exhaustion can be prevented by simply making choices to not get exhausted 🙂
I love the simplicity in how you write here Lieke and the level of responsibility and care you’ve taken in how you feel. You had 2 choices – keep going how you were and look for solutions and ‘props’ to keep you going through the day to not feel the exhaustion, or to look at how you were living during the day that was making you feel exhausted.
This is an important point Sandra that the mind will look for distractions and fillers to override listening to the bodies constant communications to us.
I realise that I have been letting the outside world run my life for a long time.
I can relate to this line Lieke, literally being a puppet within the world and letting it have its way with me. Thank goodness for Serge Benhayon, who has been the one to offer a way that is so very simple and life transforming, back to my natural loving way.
A great read Lieke, explaining by example the importance of honouring the body and going to bed early with a regular rhythm can make a huge difference to how we feel. Learning to make choices that honour and empower us rather than guilt ridden ones, that can contract ourselves using the the excuse that we don’t want to let someone down have been ways I have let myself down in the past as well.
It’s funny how we can spend years and years feeling exhausted, even to the point that we are no longer consciously aware of the fact and then we can use all sorts of things to keep us going like – getting involved in a drama, relationship issues, over-eating, exercise, drugs, alcohol, sugary foods – there are lots of things that we do to avoid dealing with exhaustion. What I really love about Lieke’s blog is that she shares exactly how she is turning this around from the initial inspiration she’s had from others and their earlier bedtime to now making it a commitment to herself for herself with astounding results. What she describes shows us how we can all begin to break the cycle of exhaustion.
‘I would be feeling exhausted by the end of the day but then in the evening I noticed how I would easily become stimulated again and distracted from feeling the exhaustion… I would then get involved in doing something that would result in my going to bed later than I had planned.’ This is my story too, and very much a work-in-progress. we are so used to ‘catching up’ on our sleep, it’s a big turnaround to ‘prepare ahead’ for a great night’s sleep by being gentle, unwinding, and going to bed early. Switching off computer and smart phone well in advance of bed time is a great plan too. Spending time with ourselves and connecting deeply, honouring our bodies and the tiredness we feel without overriding it with food and other distractions.
what I loved about your blog too Lieke is how you realised that the expectation of your father being hurt if you chose to stay with what you felt tuned out to be not true. How often do we fill in others reactions as an excuse to not choose that which will expand us and allow us to feel amazing?
Exactly, Carolien. We often hold back from making choices because of what we assume the others’ reaction/choices might be, but it really is an excuse we are using for our own sake to avoid making a choice that would require a bit more commitment/input than what we are used to and pull us up to a new level – and it often turns out those assumptions are not even correct.
yes Fumiyo and is it not often arrogant or not seeing the other in their power and potential when we think for others? I know I have been often surprised by the reactions when I simply spoke of what I felt.
I found it is so easy to get distracted from the clear and simple messages from my body by either thinking I should do this, finish that first, or by interpreting how other people will feel or react. It is amazing how much we learn to not honour ourselves and what we feel. Good thing though is that when we start to pay attention to it and honour ourselves more the results are instant and amazing!
Yes Carolien, it is amazing how much we learn to not honour ourselves. I can feel in me that little satisfaction when I just get the job done even though I felt to stop… I feel inspired by your comment to make it more the other way around, to appreciate when I feel I have listened to my feelings to not do something now or to do it differently.
and I am inspired by you Lieke to not be so critical when I have not listened but to appreciate when I have made the clear and loving choice.
The joy you felt from doing something that was honouring of your body is so inspiring.
Indeed inspiring when we feel another choosing truth for themselves.
I agree Peter, it is very inspiring to read that Lieke does enjoy honouring her body. The inspiration brings me the possibility to also try this for myself and that is the beauty we bring to each other if we share these life facts with all of us.
I feel that one day, humanity will cast their eyes back and feel how lost or disconnected humanity was in this era – as we can do now and feel the brutality of life decades or centuries ago. This disconnection is evident by alarming statistics and the way many people treat each other today. There is little lightness or love when I read or see the wars, conflict or abuse. However, there is a light beginning to shine and Universal Medicine shines very bright for me, presenting another way to be and live that has allowed me to connect to my body and honour the light that is within.
So true Lieke. There is so much I can relate to in this blog you have written. What stood out for me today was about consistency. For me this means the constant choice to listen to what my body is saying and take action accordingly. My mind has a way of overriding this communication with many actions it has perfected over time. I’m uncovering these bit by bit and my body is thanking me for it, as I choose to reconnect a little more each day.
I started reading this blog at exactly 9pm. I had planned on distracting myself with something else afterwards but now all I can feel is the truth – my body is ready for bed. Thank you Lieke.
I did too Leonne and could feel how tired I was. So, I put it down, went to bed and came back fresh this morning. It’s very empowering to honour what we feel in our body.
’ Honouring this feeling made space to do what I really felt was needed that day, which was much more supportive for me, and for everyone.’ – Lieke, this is a super important point – we seem to think that honouring ourselves first is selfish, when in truth if we don’t honour ourselves first we let everyone down by the state of quality that leaves us in.
To go to bed early is one thing that makes such as difference to the way you feel when you get up the next day, there’s no doubt about that. It allows us to not only rise early and feel great, but to improve our life in every way. Thank you Lieke.
I love going to bed when I feel tired, but this does not always happen, as I have not completed some tasks that I have committed to on a daily basis. This leads me to look at how I have used my time during the day. Has the day unfolded in a way where I had space and didn’t use it wisely or is there another reason for me to look at. Because the fact remains that I am tired and in honouring my body tasks go incomplete, and this needs to be explored, especially if it is a reoccurring theme.
Lieke, what beautiful wisdom you share here with us. I could really feel the power in the simple changes you made that day for yourself, to honour you and what you felt was truly needed and how that allowed you to stay with yourself, present and vital. Beautiful, thank you.
Lieke, rereading your sharing offers me to go deeper with myself. It is beautiful to feel what kind of positive effects it has if we honour deeply our body, our feelings and ourselves..
The answer to our exhaustion epidemic is the following lines –I realised that I could no longer live in a way that made me exhausted. I knew I had to develop a routine that honoured my body during my day – one that supported me to be ready for bed and not still be running with everything I had done that day. Imagine the quality of our health if we honoured ourselves?
These lines, lived by many, could be the tonic needed to topple caffeine from its top spot as the number one drink in the world, a position it has taken because of its link to the exhaustion epidemic around the whole world.
What you and other have written here about honouring ourselves during the day instead of driving ourselves through it is a lovely reminder for me to play with today.
Michelle I feel to do the same.
Sleep is something which really needs more attention in our lives. It is such an integral part of our well being and life. I too enjoy an early night, often waking feeling very nourished indeed because I have cared enough for myself to turn the TV off and go to bed early. After a recent spate of late nights I can honestly say I enjoy my mornings, my days and myself so much more when I am in bed by 9pm.
I agree, Michelle: sleep / repose is definitely meriting more attention – both on an individual and personal level and in terms of our scientific understanding of its true meaning, quality and purpose. As a society, we seem to have lost the plot with sleep – witness the huge amount of pharmaceutical and herbal assistance required for so many to even get to sleep and I have a sense that the true quality of sleep is yet to be researched and understood.
I agree coleen24. It seems as though sleep is something that is meant to just happen when we have finished doing everything else at the end of the day rather than being seen as absolutely one of the most important parts of our day that needs to be prepared for carefully as we would for any other important part of our day.
Hi Coleen24, you are right in saying that the truth with sleeping has to be researched with people living a great vitality in life – actually the same quality of sleep every night and to understand how that is possible within an exhausted society.
Yes, Lee and Monika- as a society, we have such a dismissive, “it’s such an inconvenience” attitude towards sleep and yet I am beginning to get more and more a sense of the sacredness of our repose. How we got to to be so disregarding of this aspect of ourselves is a much needed story that has been way too long untold.
I agree Michelle. Having done some research on sleep, lack of it or having trouble sleeping, has enormous costs to our community and on our economy, as do many other health conditions. Everyone talking about it will certainly get this out in the open a little more and articles such a Lieke’s highlights how simple actions can have quite profound results.
I love how just by committing to going to bed early and maintaining a certain level of self-care, that patterns and revelations were offered to you Lieke. When we focus and commit to love in one area of our life the ripple effects the rest.
Great and inspiring blog Lieke. I too have discovered how I regularly give my energy away because I worry about letting others down.instead of honouring what feels right for me. Putting ourselves first will serve others more in the end.
Giving our power away to others is literally a depleting way to live, as we drain the kidney energy that is there for the day to be lived and shared. In just considering and feeling what is right for us in any moment would leave us at the end of the day still vital and not depleted. Thus making the sleep that night even more restorative.
This is great blog Lieke and proves that the body knows a lot more than we, or our minds, sometimes think we do. And listening to what it wants and needs is in essence the way back to vitality. I also relate to what you were saying about feeling the pressure to please others instead of doing what is right for me, and have also learnt that if I do do something just to please another, I am giving my power away, which is actually a diservice and neither loving to myself or the person involved.
Very well said Elanor. ‘The body knows a lot more than we, or our minds, sometimes think we do’, this is very true, and one of the most disregarding things we can do is think that our minds know best because then we start making excuses for the way we live, ‘I’ll only be awake another hour or so – I need to get this work done’ and ‘Eating this piece of chocolate is totally cool, I had a massive day!’ being examples of how not listening to our body can lead to making harming choices.
So true Susie, when I start to listen to my mind over my body things get very complicated and intense. There can be at times be a sort of ‘fight’ in my head of what is right to do at a certain moment. I would then first decide to do the one thing and then my mind comes up with all the arguments why I should not do that, if I would then decide to do the other thing it would come up with the arguments of why that is not a great choice to make. I found my mind it is never going to give me the answer but my body will.
Absolutely our body is the holder of wisdom. Lately I have been noticing with myself that if I allow my mind to drive the tasks I do in a time frame then I feel grumpy and a little sad. This is because I have chosen to not listen to my body, honour my foundation and have overridden what my body is feeling and the way I should have completed the tasks that needed to be done. It’s awesome that our body is communicating to us all the time and communicates even louder when we have not listened the first time.
I like how precise you are here Johanna- having noticed this happens when you drive to do something within a time frame. I have noticed I can grumpy and irritable too when I make a task about getting it done (over and done with is the energy) but you have inspired me to be more specific and really feel the exact attitude that triggers this.
I love your comment Ariana. So clear and beautiful, and it actually connects me to my furnace within more 🙂
You have looked up some bigs areas here, concerning self care, sleep, how we prepare for sleep, how we exhaust ourselves in other ways not connected with our sleep patterns. Allowing issues and circumstances and the world to dictate what happens in our lives is exhausting, I agree, I used to feel I lived like that, as I am finding a more supportive daily rhythm, sleeping in a more restful way, learning to listen to my body and learning to say ‘no’ some times, I am generally feeling more vital, well and myself. Indeed inspiring work is presented by Serge and Natalie Benhayon.
I agree Samantha, Self Care was a distant word for me for most of my life until a few years ago. I remember when it was first being presented, I found that it was all a bit alien and I did not really understand or know what and where to take it but I see now I was living in such a way that did not allow me to stop and reflect and therefore make the changes that my body was simply asking.
I feel that the way we prepare for bed is as important if not more so than the actual time we get to bed. I have also found that there is a big difference in the quality of sleep I have if I get to bed at 9pm rather than 10pm. The sleep in the early part of the night seems to be so important and rejuvenating.
I’d agree with this Lee….says me writing this comment at 10pm!!! When I work late (like tonight), I am very aware of supporting myself by winding down hours before, so that when I get home my body is ready for sleep (unless I have a few blogs to read and some comments to write…but even still, I remain with the winding down quality whilst I read and type and then gently put myself to bed…Good Night:)) Thank you Lieke
Yes I agree with you Lee, sometimes I am a bit later due to having a big day at my study and then I naturally am ready to go to bed a little later. If I make it about going to bed at exactly 9pm this gets stressful to make it in bed in time! That is really silly and indeed does not help with falling asleep and having a restful and rejuvenating sleep. It is all about the quality.
True Lee, preparing for bed is underestimated and for many may not be a consideration (perhaps other than believing that watching TV is preparing for bed). I know many times I have continued into the evening as if it were the middle of the day and expected to sleep immediately and well. Sometimes when chatting to family and friends about going to bed earlier it is quickly dismissed as impossible as they would never fall asleep that early, even though both getting up earlier and winding down in preparation to sleep are two simple tactics if this is really the concern.
Thank you Lieke, someone else recently spoke to me about a nine day programme. I also can feel the deep exhaustion in my body and feel that if I were to go to bed an hour earlier every night that may well support me in allowing my body to rest and recuperate. i do sometimes, when at home, have a nap in the day which I feel very regenerative but since reading your blog I feel inspired to bring my night time routine forward.
Going to bed early has been a great support to me and I recommend it to anyone. If my rhythm in my day or night is out in any way I notice that the level of support I feel within myself also is out in some way.
Early to bed, early to rise keeps us all feeling joyful and wise!!!!
It is inspiring Lieke how you have used your body as an experiment to find out what works for you and supports you day to day. This is so refreshing when the world is filled with ‘how to’ programmes yet we walk around with the answers inside us everyday as our body is the marker and the how, why and what is available if we pay attention 🙂
This past weekend, I had booked to participate on two Unimed webcasts on separate days, it was something I really wanted to do. But as the event date approached, I began to feel a pull in my stomach, uneasy, a tension: my head wanted me to go, but my body was not aligned to my thoughts. I knew deep down there were things I had to attend to before going away for three weeks, and ignoring them would give me an unsteady start to this period of work. I listened to my body, stayed at home, quietly and steadily, attended to things, rested when I needed to, ate simply. I re-entered my place of work, feeling refreshed, connected to myself and client and within there is a quiet steadiness. It pays to honour our feelings.
“I realise that I have been letting the outside world run my life for a long time.” When I stop and really feel where I make my choices from it’s staggering that the vast majority of choices come from what I feel others would think, or what I feel should be the right choice, rather than feeling on the inside what is truly right for me. I am learning to honour myself too and make choices that work for me. I know in so doing I am honouring others too.
Yes it is so interesting when you start to observe this always choosing to do what you think other might want us to do. It actually makes no sense as we are living with ourselves 24/7 even though it makes no sense it is sometimes not as easy to change but honouring what you feel and letting ourselves learn is a way to do this.
‘Yes it is so interesting when you start to observe this always choosing to do what you think other might want us to do.’ I am exploring this Lieke – feeling what I want to do from my body, feeling when I am altering this because I think and assume it is what another wants or when I alter myself to abate a particular reaction I sense is coming. How much simpler would it be to only honour ourselves and therefore others?
Lieke, I wrote only the other day that preparation for sleep is not just about the time we go to bed or practical things we do before going to bed, but all the daily choices we make throughout the preceding day. Each one contributes to the quality of sleep we have. At the same time as I read your blog, I felt in my body how deeply self loving it is to commit to going to bed at a certain time, and how much the body appreciates and responds to be treated in this way.
Thanks Lieke for your excellent blog. I can really relate to the over-riding my own feelings so that I do not offend or upset others or make them jealous or uncomfortable. For a long time since childhood I had believed that when people feel uncomfortable around me when I am expressing who I am, I am harming people but recently my wife said to me, if you feel love in your heart and you express that it is impossible to harm others for love only heals. Any reaction we get from others in this case is for them to deal with, not for me to change how I feel to accommodate it. This feels like a really important revelation for me so thanks for expanding on it so clearly.
Beautifully said Andrew – ‘if you feel love in your heart… then it is impossible to harm others’. It may seem like a snub, or not what they want to hear, but hearing the truth is often what is needed to help break us out of a pattern that is hurting us.
Incredible to read a blog like this and see what a gigantic difference such seemingly small changes can make. This is true medicine, true science.
Well said Ottobathrust, true medicine is taking care and responsibility for our body to our lives and true science comes from our body.
I love this too Lieke, ‘I also loved the feeling of the commitment to myself, to care for myself and listen to my body’s signals.’ Going to bed at this time for me feels deeply nurturing, I really enjoy honouring my body in this way and I can feel how it supports me to feel well during the day.
I love this blog Lieke ‘Listening to my feelings and honouring my body’ and the way you describe the subtle ways we can be pulled off track when we’re not attentive. Staying connected to you on the day you wanted to study, and declining invitations to be ‘somewhere else,’ was self honouring. This is empowering and generative. ‘I realise that I have been letting the outside world run my life for a long time’ overriding our feelings and giving power to others a million times in any single day is what contributes to exhaustion.
Great blog Lieke. The power of these self-loving, self-caring acts can never be underestimated. All it takes is that first step of honouring ourselves for us to realise how far we have strayed from what is our natural state and to let the miracles commence.
Adhering to what the body requires is the best medicine that can be obtained
Yes and yet it is probably the commodity that is the least sold of all medicines that are out there, even though you get this one for fr
9 o’clock now is a late night for me, I am usually tucked up in bed by 8 and sound asleep by 8.10pm but just recently I have had two late,late nights a 10.30pm and a 11.00pm. Shock horror! I felt a bit woozy for a bit next day but it wasn’t for long as my past rhythm carried me through. In the past I used to go to bed later sometimes than the time that I usually get up now.
‘ In the past I used to go to bed later sometimes than the time that I usually get up now.’ Kevmchardy – I smiled as I read this as it reflects how much we can change when we are supported to connect back to our bodies and feel from the body how nourishing it is to be asleep by around 9pm. Many people have a regular bedtime of 11pm, 12am and 1am and get up and go to work, perhaps getting through the day propped up by caffeine. While this is possible, it is not health-full and to me it demonstrates humanity needs to return to listening to the body, valuing its wisdom, and having discussions like the one this blog has inspired.
Lieke, as I was reading your blog I realised that I could have written this blog myself, as it is exactly what I have experienced too. Every part of it. It is certainly a time to celebrate when we return to honouring our feelings and our bodies in the way you have so beautifully shared here. Thank you for allowing yourself to go there after being inspired by Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine, and Natalie Benhayon.
“I can now feel how choosing to live in a way that doesn’t honour my body makes me feel exhausted and tired, whereas living in a way that consistently honours my body and my feelings I have more energy to do whatever is needed. I can feel and appreciate how extremely self-empowering and self-caring it is to follow and honour my own feelings”.
What you have written here Lieke sums it all up for me; it is absolutely powerful and wise.
A lovely timely reminder for me to choose a deeper level of commitment, honouring my body.
Thank you.
Lieke, this is so profound for me right now. As l sit in a body riddled with aches and pains presenting in specific areas due to not honouring my body and its feelings.”ooops” Back to the drawing board. Thank you for the inspiration and loving words.
How insightful Lieke, love your experiment with yourself and the conclusions or awarenesses you came to. Especially enjoyed this line: “I can now feel how choosing to live in a way that doesn’t honour my body makes me feel exhausted and tired, whereas living in a way that consistently honours my body and my feelings I have more energy to do whatever is needed.” – HONOUR of the body leads to having more energy. How simple and something that we can all practice and deepen.
Yes so simple Zofia “HONOUR of the body leads to having more energy.” it is this simplicity I struggle with at times as I am so used to having struggle… I noticed today that I sensed a lot of space and then made up some issues. Time to get used to some more feeling amazing 🙂 I can feel I am more and more accepting and allowing it which is gorgeous.
Leike- I could relate to all that you shared, in overriding my body’s feelings to please others, to be accepted etc. But I now know that this indeed leads to feeling exhausted at the end of the day.
“Paying attention to these little feelings and honouring them is the key to staying with myself and feeling vital throughout my day.”
These considerations in our lives, such as not wanting to offend, let another down, or not fit in, are manifestations of first choosing a rhythm in our lives that does not honour ourselves truly and lovingly. It has taken some time for me to begin to acknowledge what Serge Benhayon has been saying for many years – that we actually choose to live without connection to the love within us – we choose it in our movement, posture, even in our breath, in our food choices, in the way we look at another and relate to them. All this then feeds back into our lives to keep us making those choices and not wanting to offend seems normal, and a proper way to live.
A beautiful sharing and a joy to read Lieke . The importance of honouring every moment and all we feel and are is so lovingly expressed and lived by you and an inspiration for everyone. Thank you
Lieke what a beautiful and inspiring blog. It makes such a difference when we honour and listen to our body, the vitality and joy we experience in our body. I know when I have ignored how I am feeling to just please another, my body lets me know loud and clear, it will start to contract and a tiredness kicks in, my mood drops and the joy fades. It’s a great sign that I have not honoured my body and my feelings.
‘By virtue of not pleasing everyone throughout the day, I felt full of energy, but also very still and ready for bed’ resonated deeply with me. A great article that reminds us to check in with our body and truly honour our feelings.
Your blog has inspired me to look at my day differently and be open to other possibilities of what could be affecting my energy in the day. I go to bed early but maybe need to be more observing of some situations instead of trying too hard ” to make them work” .
Amazing post Lieke! Thank you for your honesty, I was able to relate to so much of it. The point about you dropping the consistency of going to bed early when it started to feel a bit more normal or when the ‘excitement’ of the experiment started to wear off – something I do all the time. And also avoiding saying no to people because I don’t want to feel their dissappointment or don’t want them to feel rejected is HUGE one for me. You’ve so clearly pointed out how that effects our body, when we hold back…it is so draining.
Great article Lieke. I have struggled a bit with really understanding the effect that trying to please everyone has on my body. I’m clearer on that now after reading this. Thanks for breaking it down in the way that you have.
Lieke, I am inspired to take on this challenge! I have too felt the exhaustion of trying to please and overriding what I felt. It feels awful to do this, like an abuse to myself – the opposite of love and what I come from. It also doesn’t honour the other person.
Something I just started to explore in more depth is the cycle of programs like your 9-day cycle. It is not random but very purposeful to choose a rhythm that supports the theme or characteristics of the process that lies ahead of us.
Lieke, you bring on a truth that is very revealing. IN fact we are used to deadlines. We are used to bring things to the end no matter whether it suits to our rhythm or not. And that brings in a spiral of exhaustion. To start establishing a true rhythm helps to find space to do what needs to be done.
Yes and also when we all choose to do this there is not such a big issue with deadlines. If we all feel what is true things will get done on time even (maybe better especially) when we honour our own rhythm and body.
Well said, Lieke! Just yesterday I had focused a deadline on things that needed to be done. The moment I allowed myself to just do it step by step and maybe not do it in one go – a space opened up. And in this space which was no longer dominated by “time” I found myself having everything done and on top of that another hour in which a new project came up where I was called. A new chapter opened up this way!
It’s seems to be the ‘norm’ for most people to feel tired during their day. Excepting this as a way that life just is. It would be very cool if everyone did your experiment for 9days, I’m sure many peoples lives would change.
Hi Lieke, thank you for this blog. I still get caught up on the tread mill that says ‘ just do this and then everything will be finished’, and I find there is always one more thing! The biggest thing for me I have realised is the activity that is going on in my mind and how I get caught up in this. It is so true that – ‘Paying attention to these little feelings and honouring them is the key to staying with myself and feeling vital throughout my day’, This is what will change the level of vitality and being present during the day. Thanks for the reminder.
Such self-care experiments are my favourite way of getting to know what is truly supportive or harming for me – there is no better expertise on one´s personal health and well-being.
Absolutely for me too Alex. Why not doing self-care experiments with ourselves when there are so many obvious signs, like pains, exhaustion, illness and disease that show us the way we are living is not working.
That is a timely reminder to pay more attention to the details of how I honour myself (or not) and how I can deepen and expand the level of care that I actually long for. To give more importance to completing a task or someone else´s need is a quite ingrained behaviour very necessary to look at if we intend to develop self-care and true vitality.
Lieke, I love how playful you were with yourself. Trying an experiment is a great way to test a new rhythm out with out the pressure or force to need to do it. It’s like giving your body a gentle trial to see what feels right. Bit by bit I begin to pull the energy sucking cords out of the places I’ve allowed them to go, and bit by bit I stop feeding others and sustain myself. It’s a moment of expansion when we say yes to what we feel is true.
I really enjoyed and related to what you shared Lieke, as I too like many others have fallen into a pattern of pleasing others rather than truly honouring what I feel and listening to my body. You make a great point that it is not only about making a commitment to self but actually going deeper, seeing how the choices we are making in each moment may be affecting us or not supporting us in full.
‘In the past I would often ignore my body and override how I felt. This could be because I didn’t want to offend people or make them feel uncomfortable, or because I didn’t want to appear different, or simply because I chose to ‘push through’ to get things done and not listen to my body.’ It’s amazing how strong this pattern has been for so many of us in our desire to ‘fit in’, to not stand out or offend others, but at what expense to our selves? When we honour our selves first and choose what feels supportive for us, not only are we taking care of our selves first, but we are offering others the opportunity to feel that there is another way to be in life. The crazy thing is, people rarely take offence when we do this anyway, or if they do, it’s their stuff to work through, which in itself is a blessing too. It’s win win, all round.
Lieke is so sweet here in the simplicity of saying a loving ‘no’ to what will not work for her that day. And I love how by doing this, she is actually being more loving towards those around her too, by not pandering, or giving less of her self for their sake, so that everyone may get the reflection of a beautiful self-loving woman and be inspired by her grace.
Thank you Lieke van Haastrecht, your ability to make these simple choices and then share them with us all is truly remarkable. These ‘simple’ choices may seem ‘simple’ but the detail and power they hold is life changing and you can feel that you are applying them to your day with such love and care.
“These ‘simple’ choices may seem ‘simple’ but the detail and power they hold is life changing…” So true, so very, very true. There is so much power in simplicity.
Totally agree Sarahraynebaldwin – they are simple choices but hold much power and are not to be underestimated.
Fiona, your line “they are simple choices but hold much power and are not to be underestimated.” this is very true but what trips me out is how we manage to make the simple choices so complicated and then they actually seem really hard…
What I try and remember is that the complication is the smoke screen, a distraction, if you look past the smoke, there is only simplicity left, as simplicity is the language of the soul.
That is beautiful sarahraynebaldwin “the complication is the smoke screen, a distraction, if you look past the smoke, there is only simplicity left, as simplicity is the language of the soul.” How often I try to figure out the complication… but with your comment I can see it is just a distraction of allowing myself to be in this simplicity and to feel how worth I am being in this lovely space.
Anyone who has experienced or experiences exhaustion, which is everyone on the planet these days, has the answer and the remedy laid out before them in your fabulous sharing here Lieke!
The great thing is that a lot of people on this planet already start to recognize that they cannot do their day if they go too late to bed. You can override your body signals for a certain time, but the body will speak louder and louder, till we start to listen.
Its amazing how such simple changes can have such a profoundly positive affect on our lives. This is also a great example Lieke of how honouring what our bodies are telling us, and how expressing all of what we are feeling, can be so supportive and loving for us and for those around us…very inspiring, thank you.
Isn´t it interesting how much we act like robots, because we want to avoid others feeling uncomfortable. It is great to read, that adjustments of your sleep rhythm gave you the vitality and clarity you needed to see through this pattern that actually exhausted you on a daily basis.
A great reminder Leike that everything we do and how we do it contributes to how we feel. For us not to discount any feelings we have and to keep coming back to the wisdom of our bodies, not overriding them with our shoulds and should nots.
Yes Donna, that is a great point. “For us not to discount any feelings we have and to keep coming back to the wisdom of our bodies, not overriding them with our shoulds and should nots.” I find my mind tries and tries to make me excited, distracted and tensed over all kind of things but I know in my body that is just not the way to go about things.
When we make a true commitment to ourselves to change and we take loving action it is soooo empowering and leaves us feeling very content. You’re right Lieke in that we do need to keep looking at what stops us from fully communicating and all of the sneaky ways that we may sabotage ourselves. Brilliant blog.
Shevon I agree when we make a true commitment to ourselves to change and take loving action, it is very empowering and does leave us feeling very content. I know all the loving changes I have made in my life have really changed the way I feel about myself.
I can now feel how choosing to live in a way that doesn’t honour my body makes me feel exhausted and tired, this statement here Lieke I can really relate to at the moment, as I am catching myself constantly wanting to go into an old pattern of the doing so then not want to feel and listen to my body and how it is feeling. I know when I do just let go and listen, my body has a lot to say and the feeling of letting go in that way is amazing.
This is such a perfect blog for me to read Lieke. On the weekend I went to dinner at a friends place, and it was exactly not what my body needed. I had study to do, but I placed what I imagined to be what she needed, ahead of choosing what was truly needed.
The result was that I have got behind with my study, placed my self under anxiousness and tension, and had a late night to boot. So interesting that one event can throw the whole week out.
It is a bit like tripping and then stumbling around to regather your feet…haven’t quite got there yet three days later.
We are so responsive to rhythm and so deeply in need of self-respect. these two things ought to be held high in our regard and truly sought as the way to live our lives.
I find the whole knock-on effect very interesting. When tired I sometimes seek something sweet to eat and when I do and hit the lows later on, I seek something else. I find self-worth to also be a huge part of staying true to myself, not giving my power away to things I think I ‘should’ do or be and preventing the repercussions. It’s a daily training and our rhythm is the laboratory.
We are worth living in rhythm, we are a worthy and crucial part of the whole that life pulses to.
Absolutely Rachel, I had a great day in honoring every thing I felt, not even finishing all the errands I had planned to do this morning as my body told me it needed a rest, where I would usually push to get it all done. But then this afternoon my body asked me to finish a task I was on before it was completed and I was being strong headed (what a great word to use in this!) and finished it leaving my body feeling much more heavy and tired than before. It is amazing to feel though and a great reminder that our body knows best to the very detail and all I need to do is not put my tiny mental will in the way and trust that all has it’s own time and rhythm!
Awesomely expressed Rachel and very well cooked – the events we say Yes to can be all supporting or not and this example shows us exactly what we tend to not realise is happening – that we are dragged out of flow or we have a choice to stay inflow.
Wow this is truly amazing Rachel, the attention to detail we can have in our Rhythm is amazing! if we make one choice against what we naturally would, according to what is needed that then throws out the next rhythm. These are great learnings and often when I have done this I have been inspired to consolidate my rhythm even more and incorporate into my awareness something like you have shared.
Sometimes we need to just say “no” to another, but in that ensure that we are saying “yes” to ourselves and our pulse.
Great comment Rachel, when we are choosing not to live in response to our rhythms, and our bodies communications, which is the choice of the majority of our society, we are forever stumbling and trying to catch up, such an exhausting way to live. I totally agree that “these two things ought to be held high in our regard and truly sought as the way to live our lives.”
How easy is it to say “yes” to a friend, or a relative, to a demand from work and ignore the subtle messages from the body? Yet when we stop those messages are not so subtle and they always let us know later on when we went “off the rails”. Now that is grace! we always have the opportunity to learn.
Lieke, for most of my life I had also “been letting the outside world run my life for a long time. I would override my feelings and go with what everyone around me told me to do”. It was not until meeting Serge Benhayon and attending his presentation that I gradually became aware that this was not a loving way to live. Like you I can now “feel and appreciate how extremely self-empowering and self-caring it is to follow and honour my own feelings”. This has been life-changing!
Lieke I am a much older woman and know all about pleasing people. From a very young age I learned to be whatever family, friends, colleagues expected me to be. Saying no to a request to more energy out of me than actually doing the task. It is astounding how long it took me before realising the way I was living. Since becoming a student of Universal Medicine my life has changed. I no longer live at the mercy of others. I give a considered response to requests and more importantly I listen to my feelings and my body.
A great blog Lieke – thank you. I can very much relate to what you are sharing about the importance of honouring ourselves at every moment during the day – this is what makes up the quality we are carrying at any given time. If I ever find myself checking out or not being present, I know it always started with that one significant moment that I did not honour myself and listen to the signals from my body.
Truly beautiful, Eva! Yes indeed it is the responsibility of ourselves to find our quality. And it’s not a oneway road. All the quality we are able to build up for ourselves are then expressed – so for the all and not the self only. Caring for me is caring for the all.
So true Eva. Recently I could feel within my body that something felt ‘off’, ‘misaligned’, but I could not work out what was up. Nothing had happened as such that I could identify, and so I carried on, hoping it would just fade away and sort itself out. Within a matter of beautiful days it exploded, I imploded, and what felt like true disaster struck, I felt horrible. At first I couldn’t take responsibility because I couldn’t understand what had gone on, but with hindsight and talking it through with a friend, I realised this had all stemmed from one thought I had allowed myself to flow with. The rot then permeated through my body until it had full grasp of me. In this I felt the true importance of honouring my body in every moment. There is an opportunity each moment to explore and make a choice that either confirms all that we are or one that does quite the opposite.
That’s a great pointer Eva, to simply look back to where it was I chose to not honour myself and listen to the signals from my body. It then makes sense and we know where to take care next time.
Thank you for the great reminder Eva Rygg that ‘honouring ourselves at every moment during the day makes up the quality we are carrying at any given time.’
I am going into today with the intention to feel into my body and to truly honour my feelings. I am feeling that this is such a self loving way to be and not one that I have always felt comfortable with. Thank you Lieke for bringing this to my attention!
Great blog Lieke, and a wonderful reminder of how draining it can be on our body when we choose not to honour it and override what it is communicating to us.
We think we’re ‘sacrificing’ our selves, for the benefit of others …. but the reality is, no one benefits from this lack of love, particularly our selves.
Yes, no one benefits from a lack of love. The trick in this world is that love is defined by what we do instead of the quality of our state of being.
Yes, no one benefits from a lack of love. The thing is that love is mostly defined by what we do, instead of the quality in which we are doing things which is a totally different picture.
What is really inspiring about this blog Lieke is how you with so much joy choose to do a self-care experiment, without making it complex, heavy or difficult. And this is truly the way!
Exactly, not wanting to make it right, just being curious and exploring how it would feel to make adjustments. Beautiful!
Yes, there is no judgement or self-criticism in how Lieke went about her experiment. She was simply open and willing to see what was there to be seen and felt. Just gorgeous to read and feel.
If such an experiment does not come with ease and fun to explore – it is not an experiment anymore, but rather something which we want to control and the outcome too. And we learn nothing out of it.
All my life I’ve fooled myself with being me as a character that I bought into. That character was quite disconnected from his heart. Nowadays I am honest when I am disconnected – which still happens a lot. I do not feel tenderness at that moment, no (beholding) love, no power, no stilness, no joy, no playfulness. The list could go on and on and on. Even with cooking I am now feeling the warmth in my chest at times. Which to me is completely new. I’ve locked myself up in my head for a long long time. So delicious to feel the true me.
If kids can be brought up to read the energy of emotions and behaviours of others and to remain being themselves, it would save a lot of compromise and wasted energy later in life. I had this very conversation with my eight year old daughter again today and suggested that she includes me in this. I’m now on the radar, but in truth I already was.
Dear Lieke this is so inspiring thank You :).
Very beautiful and powerful blog, it really supports me at the moment to read this. As I am feeling very exhausted at the moment and for over quite some time now, as I read your words I can feel that I have been overstimulating myself to not feel that I am tired and have made to many late nights. This is a signal to stop for me and check in with my body, also if this means that I will be feeling more tired, at least I am being honest with myself. Than I can choose to go to bed by 9pm again, and choose to not stimulate myself so much at night/evening. Time to bring back self-love in my sleeping/daily rhythm. No need to drag myself in exhaustion any more!
What is interesting that when we make such a commitment – 9pm bed for 9 days, what then gets revealed is far more than just what happens to our health and vitality, but rather a huge learning for how and why we sabotage such a simple practice in our everyday.
I agree Annie, one simple commitment can often reveal so much more to us than we expected. In fact it can take us on a journey of healing.
Making a committment like Lieke did – 9pm for 9 days – revealed so much more than I imagine she expected. The awareness and healing from this has been huge and shown behaviours and patterns that she may not have been aware of.
Thank you Lieke, you’ve reminded me that every single moment, change of posture, direction of thought, choice of words are each and every one, an opportunity to care for myself and treat myself lovingly.
Absolutely rosannabianchini – we are so supported all the time to make choices to honour who we are. This blog really highlights the importance of choices and just how much impact moments of self care can have on all parts of life.
“That same day my dad asked me if I would like to go to the supermarket with him. I really enjoy spending time with my dad, but I could feel I actually needed some time doing the work I had planned. I had to make a seemingly difficult choice – I didn’t want to let my dad down but also did not want to override my own feelings.
I could feel how I didn’t want to make my dad feel lonely or rejected and that I had almost gone with him to not feel that. I talked about it with my dad and it turned out he was absolutely fine with going on his own.”
I find this really inspiring Lieke – it’s one of the things that trips me up and that is not wanting to feel the potential rejection of another from me saying no to them. And what I’ve received from this is that there’s potential for me to heal this pattern by opening up and speaking to the other person about it and telling them how I’m feeling and giving them the opportunity to respond. We can make an assumption that they’re going to feel rejected when this isn’t necessarily the case.
Agree deborahmckay. I’ve often assumed someone would have a certain reaction and I have made a huge story about it in my head creating an unnecessary amount of tension in my body – which is crazy given that what I’m actually trying to do is numb myself from feeling what they ‘might’ be feeling. But then, lo and behold, the times I talk to the person, often they have not given it anywhere near as much thought as I have and are completey understanding and supportive of my choice. This isn’t always the case of course and there are times when my feelings about how others might react are spot on. In these cases, I have to learn that those feelings aren’t for me to fix. The more I honour myself with my choices, the more of a reflection I can be for the other person to help them not feel that me saying no is a rejection, just a simple choice that I have made for myself.
Not wanting to feel the rejection of another when we say no to them is something I have done many times Deborahmckay, it is such a strong belief that many of us carry. I certainIy did, I would hold back all the time from expressing what I felt, assuming that I would be hurting someones feelings when quite often that was not the case at all. It is interesting how our thoughts and assumptions can be so untrue and make situations more complicated and do more and more harm than just speaking up and saying ‘no’ to things that do not feel true for us.
True alisonmoir, we can create complicated stories in our minds which do not end up being the case at all. Worrying about hurting others so holding back when in fact we are hurting us by holding back.
Thank you Lieke for a great article. The feeling of stillness and vitality needs to be our norm for health and wellbeing instead of our raciness and over stimulation that people live with today. No wonder there is a feeling of exhaustion for most people. Doing exactly what you have described Lieke by going to bed by 9pm and living in a way that is loving and honouring of ourselves will bring back the spark that is desperately needed.
Thank you Lieke for sharing your pleasing behaviour, something that I certainly perfected as a child. I found this is one of the most draining things I can do in my day. If this has become our normal way, it almost becomes invisible to us. However when I stopped doing it and started saying no, it felt incredibly freeing and reinvigorating. When I did say yes, it was a full yes because I wasn’t drained from all the false yes’s!
Agreed Fiona, it is those false yes’s when we commit not in full to ourselves but instead to the pleasing of others that truly drains us.
This is a great comment Fiona, that I also know very well. To say yes to someone in order to please them does no one any favours at all. Not only do you get drained, but you also then do something for another in a way that is not true, and this then has an impact on the other person. And by saying yes when you meant no, the other doesn’t get to see that perhaps they have to reconsider why or how they asked for what they wanted in the first place. Whereas by saying ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ in truth, its a win win all round!
This is great, Lieke-so simple and so inspiring. Not wanting to be seen as different is a big one for me too -it is exhausting being away from me in order to please others.
Yes Anne I agree. It takes a lot of effort to not be ourselves. 🙂
I agree Anne, unless we are truly supporting ourselves, putting others and there needs first will always exhaust and deplete us.
I’ve also being reflecting on my body and how i can deepen the care for my body, because i know from experience that when i sleep well and how i treat myself through the day makes such at difference at the end of the day. Honouring my feelings is very energising and also builds a true inner confidence.
Yes Karoline I would never have guessed the seemingly simple practice of honouring one’s feelings consistently, is a powerful support in building true confidence, the steady inner confidence that is not reliant on how good you are at something, but rather the confidence of knowing yourself and that it is from that quality that you will learn what is needed.
Very true Annie. The practice of it really is simple but when we look at the reasons why we don’t go to bed early – late night overeating, staying up to do more work, sending emails/texts, social media… it all seems to point to a lack in our day. For me can be lack of expression, lack of connection to joy in my day, lack of commitment and flow in the day, so seeking to fill the gap with other things – focussing on getting things done without the appreciation of me, but we have everything to appreciate about ourselves.
Thanks Karoline for the awareness that a true inner confidence comes from honoring ourselves. This inner confidence is essential to support the next choice. One self-loving supporting choice supports the next self-loving choice. Just choosing to rest earlier in the evenings is such a powerful choice to make to commence a loving foundation.
Leike this is such a great article, it is very simple, if we honour ourselves, our feelings that changes our quality of life….being supportive to what our body needs and looking after it by going to bed at a time that allows the body to deeply rest….yet many of don’t make it this simple. Also i love how you shared ‘It was like the excitement of starting something new had faded and the initial improvements in my wellbeing and vitality were becoming ‘normal’.’ this is such an important insight, and you took it further by looking at how you live during the day. Where often many know this start of something new, then the consistency fades….but your commitment took it further. Commitment to you!
Absolutely so, Karoline, that consistency and commitment are the keys to any true and lasting changes in health and lifestyle. Without them we have neither action, nor understanding of what is required to return us to our true and natural state of health.
“At the end of the day, by virtue of not pleasing everyone throughout the day, I felt full of energy, but also very still and ready for bed.” I find this one exhausting as I have invested being a people pleaser all my life. Choosing to look at every choice and the motivation behind it can be very revealing.
Going to bed early is a big building block of having a life with a lot of joy and life energy. It may not be enough by itself but, once it comes naturally, it is one of the most supportive things we can do in our life.
I can so relate to what you are saying Lieke, it is so easy to override the body and let our lives be ruled by what our head dictates. But the body holds the wisdom of the universe and knows its rhythm and so life becomes a lot more harmonious if we listen to it.
9pm for 9 days, there is something beautiful and rhythmic about those numbers! I like how you segmented a particular amount of time, and the experimental approach you took to this program, there is definitely so much more to tiredness than the amount we sleep.
” I didn’t want to make my dad feel lonely or rejected and that I had almost gone with him to not feel that. I talked about it with my dad and it turned out he was absolutely fine with going on his own.” It’s crazy how much we override how we are actually feeling and what’s true for us in order to please someone else. Great blog
How strong and powerful it is to honor our feelings, or: to honor our KNOWINGS, I have to say. I know where I have to be, to go, what to express, know what is needed viewed from a bigger picture. There is a place for me in the divine plan and I naturally know where this is. The more connected I am with me, the more I know where to be. To ignore thess knowings to please others – who do I serve here? I separate from The Plan and so from the true me and also from the community. On the other hand, to follow those feelings/knowings, like to go to bed early, does deepen my connection. I say YES to The Plan and my part in it. I am connection to the divine source I am coming from and so blossom up again. And this blossom is so inspiring.
This was so beautifully constellated for me to read now for it is exactly what I need to contemplate. I too have absolutely let the outside world dictate my life and have overridden my feelings to allow this and in doing so have avoided taking responsibility for the harm this not only does to myself but to others as I live and reflect a way of living that is not true. Thankyou for your wise words and the inspiration to more deeply honour my body and its innate wisdom.
Reading your blog again Lieke made me appreciate the importance of having rhythm in my life. I realised how easy it can be to lose my rhythm and that this most often happens when I override my body’s very clear messages. When I listen and respect what my body is sharing with me, my life flows much more easily.
Great blog. It shows that it is 24/7 the signals our body give us. It is up to us to honour them. It all adds up the choices we make where we listen to these signals or not. I have felt for days i.e. the effect of an evening where I stayed up late to be sociable towards others (my idea of what is sociable…). Staying up later I felt as compensation / cover up I started to eat – but not what my body asked for – …..and there I went. It was a lesson of don’t override the feeling. Go home, when the body says: tired! 🙂
Yes Caroline, that is such an interesting point, when we override our feelings things easily start to get pear shaped like eating things we otherwise wouldn’t, talking to other people in a way we normally wouldn’t and so much more. It is really revealing to see that all those behaviours appear after we chose to not honour our feelings.
‘I also loved the feeling of the commitment to myself, to care for myself and listen to my body’s signals.’ This is something that I experience too but still often ignore as I drive on through life. A great big reminder, thank you Lieke.
I love how you shared about talking to your Dad. Sometimes we can avoid saying what needs to be said for fear of the response. This serves no one. You have shown here what often happens, we share our true feelings and the other person totally accepts and understands. Beautiful.
Going to bed a bit earlier or paying a bit more attention to how I am and what I am still doing in the evening and before bedtime I have also found to be of great significance towards my well being and vitality the following day. It is amazing how gladly my body takes any self-caring and self loving gesture of mine showing me the vitality, strength, endurance and awareness I naturally hold within my physical frame in a very tender way.
Lieke, this is so simple and so lovely, ‘I knew I had to develop a routine that honoured my body during my day’, it is these simple, practical changes that can change our lives, give us more energy, allow us to enjoy ourselves, other people, our work and our lives more.
I guess you could say Lieke that your program was 9 days and 9 nights. Our sleep patterns are very important for how we live during the day. With more vitality we are able to experience new things like you did by honouring the fact you didn’t feel to attend the meeting. From these experiences we are able to create new platforms or foundations for ourselves.
It’s very revealing when you start to squirm in your body when reading a blog like this isn’t it!? Living a life to please others is oh so exhausting and I can feel how much I have lived this way. And there is a deeper aspect here too, in the avoidance of being everything I am. More exhaustion, fighting the innateness of my being. Thank you for sharing this Lieke and exposing this momentum for others to reflect upon. I’m off to bed!!
I have lived most of my life being the mouse in the maze, running the same way that walls made me go and it became just the way life was. My walls are almost all gone now and I chose what direction to shall go, when to sleep, what to eat and it feels so freeing and true to just be myself.
What a great self-care experiment! I have also recently committed to a few daily rituals including a walk, a meditation (the Gentle Breath-as taught by Serge Benhayon) and a more refined diet (less sugar and grains) and I feel so much more consistently joyful for it! I felt this line was gold: ‘At the end of the day, by virtue of not pleasing everyone throughout the day, I felt full of energy, but also very still and ready for bed.’ Something, as has been said, we need to look at if still tired with enough sleep! XX
Lieke, this is a great experience and learning. I detect that often I do things which distract myself and leave me racy and incomplete when I do not want to feel how deeply tender and delicate I am which means in this moment I would be able to feel everything around me. To establish a rhythm throughout the day having the commitment to come back to yourself is amazing.
I relate what you have shared here and I too have found how living life pleasing others and choosing to override what my body tells me will have a direct impact on my energy levels and wellbeing , and the more I honour myself, commit and choose love in every way possible the more my life has also been transformed in ways never imagined.
I have found Lieke, i was reflecting a lot on your blog during the day after i read it, and realised that self empowerment, as noted by the choices you did but honouring yourself and not going to the meeting, shopping with your dad (two examples) – but instead having a conversation with him, is very self empowering. And this self empowerment becomes like a fuel source for the body, which feeds you back with vitality, confidence, and energy that propels the next self loving, self caring choice. It goes to show how self care becomes like a renewable source of energy for the body, as opposed to the choice of reaching out for one of those energy drinks you can buy at the shops.
Great observation johannebrown17 ‘how self care becomes like a renewable source of energy for the body’. Every choice to self-care or get pulled out by trying to please others builds on itself and we are either empowered or depleted by our choices. It shows how important it is to stay connected to our hearts and feel into every opportunity we are offered.
Thank you Johannebrown17, I had never seen self care as a renewable source of energy yet I can see and feel how this is true as one choice builds onto another and onto another throughout the day so how could we then feel drained as we have put ourself in the picture each step of the way. As you say empowering and a loving foundation to sleep on.
Beautifully shared Lieke. Our bodies truly are a gift, our marker of truth, always signalling us the way to live in connection to who we are, to the love we are within. It is so true that the more we honour our feelings the more we make choices that support this connection, deepening our awareness and developing a solid foundation. ‘I realise that I have been letting the outside world run my life for a long time.’ – this is a powerful realisation that I can also relate to. And yet in truth, we discover that there is not a thing outside of ourselves that can compare to the joy of living the loving stillness we are within.
There are so many insight here to appreciate Lieke… choosing just one for now… “I didn’t want to offend people or make them feel uncomfortable, or because I didn’t want to appear different” .. such a huge pattern and I love how you shared what was felt with your father to find the tension was something you had created… very much relate to that.
Thanks for bringing this example up again Joel. This being an ongoing pattern all my life, recently I decided to address some of the patterns I had grudgingly carried on for years. I tentatively broached the subject with the relevant people – and I was amazed – everyone was understandably surprised with my change of tune but understood my explanation of how I felt and was open to the change I was proposing! I was shocked with the significance of this. Lieke captures it well, it was ‘me’ who had chosen to override what my body was telling and was fueling the perception of stuckness all along.
It is great, not to mention empowering, to realise and understand how and why the tension we feel around us has been created. Often we think it’s because of another, when almost always it stems from us.
Yes so true Joel: “to find the tension was something you had created…” From past experiences my pictures of what people are feeling at certain times are so tainted that they are often not true anymore when I truly ask them! And often before asking it already has become a huge issue in my head. But I am doing this less and less, really allowing other people to be themselves and not impose anything onto them.
Yes Joel, I had the same affinity with this line “I didn’t want to offend people or make them feel uncomfortable, or because I didn’t want to appear different”
I have been running this ill pattern for sometime, convincing myself that its true no matter how many times its proven false. The funny thing is that I talk myself into thinking I have no choice too, that I have to do (whatever it is, with who ever it is, story varies but pattern is the same) because I committed to it. If I committed to listening to my body half as much as do the world who knows what could happen….
You are leading the way Lieke with this seemly simple way of living.
I love that sarahreynebaldwin “If I committed to listening to my body half as much as to the world who knows what could happen….”
And also what a great service that would have been to Lieke’s father. To hear her claim her truth and also of him to go alone. I am constantly amazed at how magic is born out of me, over-riding duty or social norms and claiming myself in similar scenarios. Time and time again, what I thought might be a sticky moment turns out to be perfect for everyone involved. We waste so much energy writing the script before the event has even happened.
This was so supportive for my own rhythms at this time. I only last night talked with my husband about why we may be feeling tired, and we touched on the fact that we are not honouring ourselves enough and thus any choice that is not true for each of us leads us to feeling tired. Your blog is confirmation that I need to deepen my rhythm in honour of myself.
Like you Lieke I realised I had been letting the outside world run my life for a very long time and it was exhausting me. After realising this I knew something had to change or I would end up sick. Through the teachings of Universal Medicine I learnt to listen to my body and honour my feelings to the best of my ability. This has supported me to build a consistently deepening foundation in the way I live and how I feel by being present and feeling whatever is there in my body to be felt, listening to my body and honouring my feelings. Through my choice to learn to love and respect myself and honour my feeling, make changes to my life when I feel something is not supporting me to be present and connected to my essence this could be in the way of food or lifestyle choices in things as simple as the way I walk, talk or start to get into a rush I know I need to bring myself back to me and stay present with myself.
It is draining on our life-force of energy when we compromise our true feelings for anyone else, including family, children or strangers alike. Stepping out of our own rhythm and stepping into or measuring alongside another’s is like trying to swim against a current that is otherwise naturally flowing for us and in deep connection with all others in their own pool .. when we are all choosing our own natural flow this is when we bring true harmony to the one greater universal pool that we are all undeniably and beautifully apart of.
Cherise the power in what Lieke has shared here is fantastic. After reading the blog I certainly got a sense of all the times I try to please rather than express what I truly feel and the resulting tiredness the comes. When I look at these situations its normally when I have an investment in things turning out some way that I don’t express yet by virtue of that the outcome will not be true and I will be exhausted. A marked difference from expressing what I feel and everything unfolding from there.
I love the pool analogy Cherise. So often when we truly stop to ponder and communicate with one another just about our daily chores, we find that our original impulses that we want to honour do in fact support one another more than we realise. I know too that if I have a strong impulse to do something there is often an un-expected outcome waiting at the other end of the feeling that further supports and confirms both parties. How much energy do we waste in pursuit of pleasing others, when in fact it brings the least pleasure and harmony. Learning to swim with the current is still an un-folding journey and Lieke’s article is another huge support in choosing to stop, feel and listen to what our bodies are truly telling us.
So often when we allow ourselves, like Lieke did in her blog, to explore what is everybody’s natural rhythm, we discover that we are actually in sync with each other if we go with our own flow. I used to plan my weekend around when my children would come and stay with me and adjust to their rhythm. Since I stopped doing that and we all share and discuss what feels good for us things flow and are simple.
Thanks cheriseholt for that reminder that trying to fit in to someone elses rhythm is like swimming upstream. It is something I do constantly and wonder why I’m always feeling drained.
So beautifully and clearly expressed Cherise, brought to mind a school of fish, each one totally separate but swimming together in perfect harmony.
Beautifully said Cherise. It makes me wonder how did we end up thinking that ignoring our own feelings to please someone else is a good thing? I can feel there is an arrogance in this, like ‘I can choose what I want to do’, instead of listening to the bigger rhythm I and we are all part of.
This is huge and history-making concept Lieke, what a revelation it is to come back to the wisdom of our bodies and to know that we just always know what is right for us in any moment.. I love that your own experiment with your body showed you the specific beliefs that play out for you (in relationships or with time for example) where we override what we have felt due to something else we have thought or believed we needed to do. Is this not proof that our bodies are markers of energy and read absolutely everything and from here know exactly what to do with it too?!
I love what is proposed in this blog and I love your deep honouring of the body with your comment cheriseholt! It feels great to cherish and praise the body and its innate wisdom – I feel this needs to become much more part of my daily ritual. I mean how marvelous is this human frame? To every little detail… I take it for granted but truly it is so amazing, it deserves my full attention, love and care.
What a totally priceless sharing for someone of 24 (or any age) to realise. I love the line “I realise that I have been letting the outside world run my life for a long time.” – how incredible is it to feel that. This is a book I will be taking a leaf out of. I can only imagine how clocking and chooseing this approach will support your life from here starting now in your early 20’s – superb. So much more recommended than playing catch up later in life.
Absolutely Kate, it is a huge inspiration to have Lieke live in this way and also express an article such as this as it really makes life and the reality of what is important very much at the forefront of the day. Trusting in what we feel is an important exercise and one that I am continuing to work on.
Yes Kate, it is a life changing insight when we recognise the way we choose to live our lives and ‘letting the outside world run…’ us. We can then make a different choice to change that by honouring ourselves, our feelings and begin to know what is true for us…not exhausting…as Lieke has so beautifully expressed.
My feelings exactly, Kate. How beautiful to be so honouring of yourself in your 20’s, Lieke. An amazing foundation from which to grow and deepen.
Absolutely Kate, for many people they spend their whole lives disregarding their feelings and living an exhausted life, so it is super cool to hear Lieke claim that at 24 she is already aware of what works for her body and what doesn’t work.. this is indeed such a huge inspiration for everyone.
I’ll say Susie – as someone who is having to wade back through the mess I created through abuse of my body, “disregarding their feelings and living an exhausted life” it is empowering, inspiring and celebratory and yes “super cool to hear Lieke claim that at 24 she is already aware of what works for her body and what doesn’t work” – so so indescribably worth it.
I can totally relate to everything in your blog Lieke. Taking on the role of people-pleasing is exhausting beyond measure. So many in the world are doing this which effectively means we are ignoring and overriding the very definite signals from our bodies. It’s no wonder so many people complain of being ‘tired all the time’. I googled this a few weeks back and was pretty shocked to find it is actually a known medical phenomenon with its own acronym TTATT. We are going to our doctor in droves trying to find a cure for being tired all the time and yet as you have proved with your beautiful experiment Lieke, we are holding the permanent cure, a healing in fact, within. We just need to choose it. This blog is the prescription.
Absolutely Lucy a much cheaper and more self-empowering prescription than all the sleeping tablets etc that many resort to. In the service I work in (mental health support) practitioners talk about sleep hygiene ie suggestions like going to bed and getting up at the same times, minimising distractions in the bedroom and avoiding caffeine and alcohol. But it feels like this does not address the root issue of why so many people are ‘tired all the time’ and the huge role that people-pleasing plays in keeping so many trapped in this cycle.
A great experiment and beautifully executed – and when you say that you could feel after a while that your consistency was waning, I can really relate to that. For me it feels like an identification with doing something ‘new’ and better’ rather than truly living, appreciating and enjoying the change that a new rhythm has brought.
What you have expressed here Gabriele covers a multitude of approaches to our making choices – I can use my will to override my mind that wants to stay up and do more stuff but that is still not fully self loving, it’s trying to be ‘good’. Likewise I can use my will to stop myself going out and buying a sweet thing to eat, but willpower doesn’t work because, as so many of us experience, it fades over time, whereas respecting and honouring our bodies feels great and we automatically don’t want to do anything that would harm ourselves.
Yes Gabriele, i feel it is very common, i know for me too, how our consistency can wane…
But as you beautifully expressed, the antidote is as you state .’…appreciating and enjoying the change that a new rhythm has brought.’
Great comment Gabriele, I have found when doing from my head as in being “good” or “better” the consistency inevitably will wane, as opposed to truly connecting to my body, and clocking it’s responses whilst making changes. That way the positive responses encourage consistency, truly living it in my body I can appreciate and enjoy the changes the new rhythm is bringing as they unfold.
Exactly what I needed to read and the joy and freedom can be clearly felt throughout your blog which I found very inspiring Lieke. Will definitely give it a go!
Haha, I loved reading this Leike, as I had just made a commitment to myself to go to bed at an earlier time for a week as I had been feeling out of sorts, with my usual rhythm, it was not working. So what you have written is very confirming and also inspiring for me. Thanks heaps!
Lieke this is so inspiring to read and a great reminder that true health and wellbeing are in our choices of how we live with regard or disregard to our bodies. I can totally relate to what is written and how easy it is to override the signals from the body from childhood and into our adult years in wanting to not stand out or please others….ouch!
“I realise that I have been letting the outside world run my life for a long time. I would override my feelings and go with what everyone around me told me to do. By changing this behaviour I began to realise that I had learnt this as a child: I did not want to hurt anyone by following my own feelings, or by being amazing even if others were not feeling amazing etc. This made me feel uncomfortable!”
Such deep wisdom in the words, ‘life is about honouring our body, re-connecting to its innate wisdom and living from there’. That well-used phrase, ‘early to bed, early to rise’ really does ring true. My body loves it when I do honour it by going to bed early. I’d almost describe it as gleeful – and my body then wakes up in the same mood and mode as it went to sleep – a really superb way to start a new day. But it does take true commitment to stay consistent and it’s at the point when we begin to take on new activities, things to do before we go to bed, that we start to dishonour the natural cycles that support our rejuvenation through sleep. At the end of the day, literally, it comes down to choice, to responsibility and to how much we want to honour what truly supports our wellbeing.
I love this Cathy, and I agree that tricks can be played on an evening to take us off track in having a truly honouring sleep. It is a JOY when we do honour bodies and ourselves.
My rhythm of going to bed “early” is very established (so much so that I now no longer call 9pm early. 7.30 is early. 9.30 is late!!) But what I appreciate in your comment Cathy is the next phase of refinement – or indeed, I should say the equal partner in this rhythm. And that is the wind down before going to bed. I have to really look after myself here. I do a lot of work with the USA and their day is just getting going at 7-8pm, so that is when the phone calls start coming in. What I am doing more and more is not engaging at that time, but connecting with them in the early morning UK which is their end of the day.
Thank you Lieke for a great blog I can so relate to what you have written here about giving yourself away to please others, I have done this all my life, but I am learning now little by little to love and honour what what my body is telling me. one of the ways, I love, is going to be early and what a difference it makes to my day and my next night’s sleep.
One of the things you say there Lieke stood out to me, you mention that when you spoke to your father you actually found out that he didn’t mind going on his own, this reminded me about the importance of not presuming we know someone else’s intention or what they are thinking but the importance of simply asking them and sharing how you feel.
I agree Lucy, I am always presuming how the other person is going to react or feel. When I do express how I feel the other person is totally fine with it, and I feel so much lighter for expressing the truth.
It’s a good point Lucy – we can be trying to please somebody by doing something they aren’t even worried about and so we’re actually then projecting out onto them and imposing as well as draining ourself at the same time!
Quite and absolutely what I also thought too Lucy about those presumptions, expectations we have or hold of others. Easily resolved with communication and expression.
Great point Lucy Dahill that so often we are projecting or presuming how someone else might react to our choices or our expression when really this is just a guess and we don’t really know how someone might respond until we talk to them about it or just do it. Sometimes I am surprised when I hold my nerve so to speak and stick with what I feel is the truth and the other person actually agrees or responds in a way I was not expecting.
Love this Lucy – a great point expanded so beautifully. It complicates matters to assume how other people are feeling, on one hand we may be reading a situation but on the other we can certainly be influenced by beliefs of our own. It feels so simple and true to just talk about it, from the point of how we are feeling, which allows space for the other to feel where they are at too.
I agree Lucy, we can get ourselves into quite a flap about what we are going to do or say because we are presuming how the other is going to react, so much simpler to share how we are truly feeling and allow the outcome to develop from a base of honesty.
Lieke, I’ve noticed that the period before sleep and how I have been during the day makes such a difference to the quality of my sleep not only that night but also I’m the nights to come.
Very true Fiona, i’m already going to bed an hour before bed, winding down and being nurturing, by the time i lay myself to rest in bed, it is the most exquisite feeling…but i have to admit, this does not always happen but it is becoming more so…..waking up rejuvenated for the day is a wonderful feeling!
Yes Karoline , winding down time before sleep is important. If I leave it too late it effects how I sleep, and how I wake the next day.
I agree fionacochran it is not just going to bed early that counts for me but how I have been during the day – every movement, every interaction with another person and how I prepare myself for sleep. I have also noticed that there is a tendency to try and get things done at the end of the day when often I am tired and fairly non-productive. Just going to bed early and waking up early the next day to do things definitely works better for me.
I am with Andrewmooney26, in the same way that winding down from the day supports me to have a better quality sleep, so does getting up early and creating some time for me. If I have space at each end of the day for me then the part in the middle feels so much easier.
An early to bed mini program. I love it and it’s just what I need. Nine nights of restorative sleep. I’m going to give it a try, thank you for the inspiration.
Agree fioancochran01, great idea, inspiring, am going to try a mini program of ‘early to rise’ and see what comes up…
Great idea Zofia these mini programs can be aplied to all aspecten of life.
It is really good to be aware of the way we are during the day and how it affects our sleep
I am very inspired Leike, and will be looking more deeply into my own way I am expending energy by being pleasing, meeting ideals etc.
You chose stillness instead of distraction and look at the effect it had on you!. I appreciate that you describe that exquisite feeling of stillness and vitality that you wake up in, as something you deeply enjoy. I have checked in and realized with your blog that I still have a little bit of that old belief that stillness is boring, and that belief is not natural to me, but something I learned and is predominant in society…it is actually imposed, if I stop and feel, I really agree with you: I deeply enjoy stillness and vitality.
A great blog Lieke, A great rhythm to get into, going to bed early so not to be exhausted, saying no to something that doesn’t feel right. Simple choices with amazing outcome.
Exhaustion is the latest plague, and the truth you share here of how to live a more loving and vital way in going to bed early, honouring and expressing our feelings and what our body needs, has a responsibility and simplicity to it as well – and it is so worth living this way!
And this plague Paula doesn’t look like it is going away anytime soon as to counteract this exhaustion we have coffee shops poppin up everywhere. Instead of coffee which does absolutely nothing except to simulate which then exhausts us, we could choose wisely and lovingly and follow in your steps Lieke and live a more vital life.
Lieke what you have shared is exactly what I needed to be reminded about this am. Thank you.
Great blog Lieke, thank you. I can totally relate to overriding my feelings to do instead what I thought would please others or not make me stand out and how draining that is. What I realise now, as you have said – “..how extremely self-empowering and self-caring it is to follow and honour my own feelings.” And how this actually supports people around me too.
Me too Fiona. When I try to please others it really does feel like someone’s un-plugged my bath and slowly the water – my efforts and energy – is being drained out and put into solving other people’s problems, or acting in a way that will make them feel happy.
I really enjoyed reading your blog Lieke, expressing your experience of the experiment of early to bed etc. and the words that stood out for me this morning were “…living in a way that consistently honours my body and my feelings I have more energy to do whatever is needed.” – and I am discovering the operative word there is ‘consistently’ – meaning not randomly or spasmodically as was how I was choosing to listen to my body in the past. Thank you for sharing your unfolding and loving experience of your experiment.
This is a gorgeous sharing of what can happen when we take the time to respect and honour what is true for us in each moment – very inspiring Lieke, thank you.
Love the blog Lieke, choosing to self care in the way you are means not only can you write a blog sharing this wisdom with others but all those you meet everyday get to feel that self care and it offers us all an opportunity to make those choices. Thank you
Yes Judy. All our choices can be palpably felt and when we live with a certain level of self care, it is clocked. This invites others to feel where they are at and to make different choices.
It’s a great experiment Lieke. Glad to see that you didn’t make this blog overly simplistic, rather you drew on the more subtle fact that “Paying attention to these little feelings and honouring them is the key to staying with myself and feeling vital throughout my day.”
Thank you Lieke, that is such a powerful article in simply showing how much we drain ourselves because we do things to please other people rather than follow our true impulse. Its a real Stop and Appreciate Moment. You have shown us that feeling tired is not just about what chores we have done in the day, but arises from a persistent over-riding of what our bodies are telling us to do. Its a bit like trying to swim the against the current in a river, our body is pulling us one way and we are attempting to go in the opposite direction, completely exhausting! Definitely a tendency to focus on and dismantle.
It is interesting because the quality we go about doing things during the day impacts on our sense of vitality also. When we override ourselves then our quality is that. Whereas when we honour ourselves this is the quality we take into every task and activity during the day. From this we can see how we would get drained with working in a quality from overriding ourselves, to a sense of vitality from the quality that comes from honouring ourselves. To be aware of this is so healing and restores our sense of choice in how we go about our day, do we confirm ourselves by honouring what we feel or do we perpetuate feeling like we don’t count by not listening to our feelings and what we need?
How beautiful, Lieke. Reading about just how thing changed for you by listening to your body, and honouring your choices is very inspiring. I’m feeling to give the 9 days at 9:00 a go!
Lieke, your words have come with perfect timing for me. Everything you have written about I need to examine more deeply, from the time I sleep, how I prepare for that and why I still override what I know is good or true for me to please or accommodate other people. Thankyou for this wonderful blog.
Lieke, your experiment has blown apart the idea that more sleep is going to make us less tired. Thank you for sharing how you very beautifully and simply made some different choices during your day and the huge effect this actually had.
“I realise that I have been letting the outside world run my life for a long time.” …. what a great realisation to have Lieke, and how many of us have done this. Is it any wonder we end up exhausted?
Listening to your body and honouring your feelings and not override those feelings to fit in to what you think others expect of you is taking responsible care for yourself and something we all can choose to do.
Lieke this is beautiful, the magic of honouring ourselves and what our bodies need allows everything in life to flow more smoothly. It is the loving consistency that makes the difference I find.
Thank you Lieke for you excellent blog, it made me reflect on my pleasing behavior and not wanting to upset others during the day, and how exhausting it is to live in a way that doesn’t honor the amazing being I am.
I have found it relatively easy to live according to how my body feels when there isn’t a great deal of pressure on me but when lots of things come at me at once eg in a work situation where a few things can require attention at the one time and can’t be put off, then it is easy to get swamped and loose the rhythm and connection to my body. For me it is certainly a life long learning to find and maintain a steady balance across all settings. What I am grateful for is that I can now quickly recognise when I have lost my rhythm and take steps to come back into sync, even if this takes a while.
Science as a lived experience – this is maybe how schools will work in the future.
Gosh what a difference that would make in our School years!
Lieke after reading this and thinking today that I can’t live my life constantly exhausted -I’ll stop blaming the change in weather to being slightly colder and look to how I’m living. so here’s to 9pm in bed and lights out for 9 days. Very inspired.
There is a huge responsibility one must be willing to take to get to the point you have come to Lieke. Vitality, joy and commitment to life become ordinary and a part of every day living and require no stimulants or the need to please others and in that we are all given the space to feel and connect more deeply as you did with your father. How awesome and beautiful Lieke 🙂
It’s a real celebration when you share Leike that you chose not to override your feelings.
When you honored how you felt and what you needed you could talk with your dad. From this you discovered so much. Enjoy being all of you with everyone in every moment.
It allows people to be all of them and this is such a great celebration.
There is so much we override when it comes to our families. I love that Lieke honoured herself and in bringing the love to herself her dad could also feel this.
Thank you Lieke, great sharing. I too struggle with letting others down, and fall into patterns of pandering at times. Great to have an opportunity to ponder on this. I need to know I am not responsible for another’s reaction and that through dealing with what they are feeling they evolve and for me to hinder this is to block both of our evolution.
Well said katechorley – the pandering is a trap. We can walk around with a smile and a courteous appearance while on the inside we are ridden by sadness, frustration and exhaustion for not listening to what our bodies are telling us. Harmonious? I don’t think so.
‘A few days into my experiment I began to note that I started to be a little less consistent with going to bed on time. It was like the excitement of starting something new had faded and the initial improvements in my wellbeing and vitality were becoming ‘normal’.’
It was beautiful to read, Lieke, that at this point you didn’t just go back to your previous way of getting stimulated and going to bed late, but instead chose to go deeper with yourself and look at how you were living during the day. Such a beautiful commitment to, and, honouring of, you.
I quite often find the same pattern when I start to change a habit. It is great to dig deeper when this happens and not fall for the usual trips. I find putting myself on a program as you have Lieke is great to strengthen my resolve to move through a pattern that is harming me.
Yes Fiona that is what I found so lovely about making it a program. Before I would just randomly trying out go to bed earlier and always if it would get a bit uncomfortable I would have nothing to fall back on and stop making the change. With this experiment the 9 days really supported me to ‘hang in there’ at the challenging moments.
Hello Lieke, finding our way back to what is true for us is sometimes a bumpy road. Connecting and feeling what is true then following through on that choice certainly identifies all the little ways we have let ‘doing’ for others fill the need within. I loved how you have explored gently ‘change’ in your life and how you have quietly guided yourself through this shift. It is a beautiful thing to love and honour ‘you’ for in being that everything you then bring to the day honours everyone and everything you connect with. As Humanity comes to this same revelation our world will evolve into one of stillness, harmony and integrity first before all other. How amazing will that be. Thank you to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for showing us there is another way of living.
I too “… am forever thankful for, and inspired by, the work of Serge Benhayon, Natalie Benhayon and Universal Medicine, who have presented the fact that life is about honouring our body, re-connecting to its innate wisdom and living from there”, Leike. It has proven the ONLY life-changing path to follow amongst the many I have tried.
Love the honesty, freshness and simplicity that you present with in this blog Lieke! It is such a simple thing to discover the benefits of listening to the body – but how interesting that once we realise how easy it is to get amazing results and fast in such simple ways, it is like suddenly we stop doing this with the same consistency. It’s almost like an arrogance kicks in saying ‘ah, this is too easy, I feel like a challenge so I will keep NOT listening to the body’. So changing our ways is not actually that hard, it is a simple choice to do so, but what is more challenging is this little voice that tries to distract us from what we know is supportive for us. This little voice is the trouble maker, this little voice is the one that seems to resists self care, like a child who is over tired and fights going to sleep. It is this little voice that needs the loving discipline so that we can really be there for ourselves and not let ourselves be convinced or distracted to do something else that will entertain us momentarily yet have unsupportive consequences after that. Awesome blog Lieke – thank you!
Wow Lieke, if you are developing these rhythms and self awareness at 24 years of age, imagine the wisdom and quality of living that you will be reflecting in 10 years time! You are an inspiration and it was a joy to read the depth of the love, care and sensitivity you have for yourself. What a gift you share. Thank you.
I agree Bernadette. If I had had this awareness at this age goodness knows where I’d be now twenty years later! An inspiration that our younger generation can lead the way in self care.
What a great experiment Lieke. I love how our body is so responsive to care and love, it beams with joy when the choices we make are in honour of ourselves and this is what emanates out to all others. Inspiration.
It is indeed an aura that emanates, often seen as a sense of grace and elegance in the movements. Very beautiful.
Very True Marcia and to think what most 24 year old uni students are experimenting with and its worlds away from the solid foundation that Lieke is building, leading the way for young people!!
I can relate to everything you share Lieke. I still find it very difficult to ‘disappoint’ people. As if I am responsible for them. Even though I found that honouring whatever I feel in the end always turns out to also be beneficial to others or the other one. What I also realise – once again – is not honouring the exhaustion is actually keeping me away from the Joy and Vitality that otherwise naturally is there.
It is amazing how honouring what we feel to do, turns out to be the best for everyone. It’s not what we have been told, so it takes quite a few experiments with this to start trusting it.
It is quite surprising that honouring myself often is so much more beneficial for someone else and they appreciating it than me pleasing and pandering them, it is so in contrast to my expectations that I could not image it beforehand.
Reblogged this on florisvanderschot's Blog.
I love this blog Lieke. To appreciate that how we’ve lived our day and going to bed early has an impact on how we sleep and then how we are when we wake the next day is inspiring. We would no doubt all benefit from making such a simple choice.
This is a classic example of really feeling your body and then giving it what it needs – identifying how we have put our bodies into patterns that can last from childhood to adulthood – and that they can tangibly affect our everyday is just the sort of scientific experiment that the whole world needs to know about.
Your observation about how we have a feeling in our body, but then go into something else to distract and mask over this, feels very powerful to me Lieke. It applies to so much and certainly the evening wind down cycle. How brilliant to read you put this awareness into action. The quality of stillness and self love is really easy to feel in what you write about going to sleep this new way.
I agree Joseph and I loved how sensitive Lieke is re her relationship with her father and was able to let him know what was going on for her.
I smiled when I read your blog Lieke as I also started off committing to 9pm but after a few days losing the enthusiasm as it wasn’t part of my daily ritual to get to bed early – I was someone who stayed up late from way back in my teenage years and beyond! Having now felt the difference between early nights and late ones, it is a no brainer! I feel so much more able to get on with the day, with joy and a feeling of flowing with life.
Not being distracted and influenced by others is another lesson I am still learning, particularly with family members but I am now aware that I can easily slip into doing things for others rather than listening to my body.
“Honoring this feeling made space to do what I really felt was needed that day, which was much more supportive for me, and for everyone.” This is my experience too Lieke. If i override what my body tells me and make wrong decisions i go against the rhythm and harmony of my body. The Body is the marker of truth.
I love what you share here Lieke, I can relate to overriding what I feel to not offend people or make them feel uncomfortable and pushing through to get things done, not honoring how tired my body feels. And the sentence “I realize that I have been letting the outside world run my life for a long time.” really stands out for me. It is so so draining to live life from the outside in. Thank you for writing this blog and reminding me of the patterns I keep slipping back in.
What I love about this blog is how simple the choice to follow your feelings were and what followed afterwards. It completely wipes away all that drama and worry and ensuing harm that comes from desperately trying to cover up our feelings that never stop wanting to come up and out from us for whatever reasons we take on from the outside. Our world is designed as such that we are taught to express in only certain and trained ways from only our head or mind. We are not supported to live from our bodies which is a shame because it makes life much simpler.
Beautiful, and so simply explained. When I got over having a thing about routine and wanting to push against my body’s natural call to sleep early and wake early, I found the same benefits you describe in your own experiment Lieke. It’s now a constant experiment with how I am/what happens in the day and to how my sleep is, and what I feel on waking. Those reflective moments after waking are wonderfully revealing lessons and confirmations.
‘I realise that I have been letting the outside world run my life for a long time. I would override my feelings and go with what everyone around me told me to do. By changing this behaviour I began to realise that I had learnt this as a child: I did not want to hurt anyone by following my own feelings, or by being amazing even if others were not feeling amazing etc. This made me feel uncomfortable!’ I can relate to his very much Lieke and reading your blog and experiencing the changes you have made lately in taking loving care for yourself is very inspirational and a joy to be with!
“I realised that I could no longer live in a way that made me exhausted.” I have come to this realisation too – and what makes me exhausted is reacting to things, people, choices, what I feel and situations. Plus there is no joy living in this way, it’s crazy why we do it, it’s a comfort thing.
Agreed Gyl, this article has inspired me to go deeper with my self-care, to truly honour what is true for me rather than completing a box ticking exercise.
Your beautiful blog Lieke highlights how a commitment to living in a certain quality and holding of ourselves is a commitment that is there in each and every moment and each and every choice. No moment in the day is exclusive from this equation and when we choose to override our feelings even in the smallest of things we also pay for it in someway with the impact that such a choice brings.
Thank you Lieke and Joshua, I agree, true responsibility is a total ‘commitment’ to all we do.
It so cool the knock on effect when we choose to make changes in our lives. I have also noticed that when i commit to one area it can expose a whole pattern of behaviours that are holding me back.
True that Nicolesjardin; one area of awareness quickly leads to another area and so-on and so-forth.
Like dominoes and the momentum behind it can work to evolve (grow) and expand or contract and be small.
“..which was much more supportive for me, and for everyone”. I love this sentence as it shows that honouring your body and what you feel is not only about self, but it includes everybody. When you truly honour you and what is needed in the moment, then you honour everything and everybody around you as well.
Thank you Lieke, this is a great reminder that our choices to honour ourselves during the day determine the quality of our sleep and the next day ahead. I have been coming home exhausted from work also and this really shows me that I have been putting my own feelings to the side at work. thank you for this inspiring blog that reminds us that ‘life is about honouring our body, re-connecting to its innate wisdom and living from there.’
I totally get trying to not make anyone unhappy. It’s like we invest in this sadness that might occur if we follow what we know is best for us. We might let someone down or we might give someone space to feel what’s actually going on for them. Why are we hooked by this? Why is it our responsibility to keep everyone happy? This is such a false premise and it’s time to let it go.
It is a false premise indeed. Especially because we ourselves are not able to resolve someone else’s issues or sadness.
Once we take our lives into our own hands and are prepared to look at the fact that only we are responsible for what we do and for what is happening in our lives, the choices we have to make suddenly become so clear and simple.
Our whole life is easy then, as we do not have to please others constantly.
Thank you Lieke and Michael, I agree the more responsibility we take for our choices the simpler life becomes.
This is an inspiring example of how our evolution (development) is not just based on getting one thing or a bunch of factors right, but about the whole – that is, our relationship with ourselves, our body and what is true for us. This is clear in what you share when you realised you needed to look at how you were living during the day and not just on getting the sleep ‘right’. It’s like we take one true step, and the next step reveals itself – love it.
Gorgeously said Sarah – I felt this too – one supportive choice and commitment shows what the next area of develoment is thats on offer.
Correct Sarah, and we then end up walking the steps back to who we truly are and all because we have the power to change our own behaviours.
Simple living and the power of self-care, the importance of rhythms, of honouring our truth, listening to our body and expressing to others – there is so much in this blog Lieke to lift and inspire others – thank you for this beautiful sharing.
Lieke, Thank you for sharing this blog… ‘I knew I had to develop a routine that honoured my body during my day – one that supported me to be ready for bed and not still be running with everything I had done that day.’ Like everything is a cycle- with one thing supporting the next, supporting the next. Feels beautiful, steady and flowing. I can understand what you mean about overriding your feelings and making choices based off other people. It’s exhausting and most of the time i feel like crap afterwards. I have felt the difference when i have done what i felt instead though, and although its a bit of a hard decision as it seems that I’m letting others down, i thank myself for it later.
Beautiful sharing Lieke. It is truly inspiring to feel the power of going back to basics and feeling vital. It feels amazing!
Such wisdom Lieke !
Your quote ‘life is about honouring our body, re-connecting to its innate wisdom and living from there’ is so spot on, and this blog encompasses so much of what we take on in life that steers us away from honouring ourselves and our bodies. ‘Honouring 101’ should be a class taught everywhere, as it is a foreign concept to the many currently.
Great call Amelia – ‘honouring 101’ – going global in a community near you.. I can only imagine how meeting Lieke now, if I was a child, would have felt and the options it would have opened up.
I agree Amelia, ‘Honouring 101’ is hugely important and ought to be built into every course that we take irrespective of the type of work/study that we do.
Like it makes sense what you share and it takes loving discipline to do this consistently.
Way to go Lieke, so less exhausting doing what we know is needed rather than fighting this knowing to fit in with something else dictated from outside of ourselves.
Lieke what a lovely blog – so simple yet makes a world of difference! “At the end of the day, by virtue of not pleasing everyone throughout the day, I felt full of energy, but also very still and ready for bed.” This is a huge one for us women and one I am getting better at not doing. Pleasing others is like poison in the body which is why we feel so exhausted, even if I have not done much in my day – its such a drain. So reading your blog was a breath of fresh air and a reminder for me to always listen to my body first and to those loving thoughts I get that want to nourish and cherish me.
I know that feeling of not wanting to disappoint someone, but am learning to choose the honesty of saying No. I have spent far too long giving my power away to what other people think or how they might react and this way of being only allows a shadow of my being to be in existence.
Beautiful Sharing Lieke. I am constantly amazed that if we bring focus to one thing in our life, like say sleep, we become aware of our whole life and how we live on a 24-7 basis, totally cool. I was inspired about what you said about saying to your Dad about how you felt and doing what is true, by feeling your feelings. This should be key in our daily rhythm! Once we start to honour our feelings more, we can bring out more of our expression and power, and live in a way that is naturally harmonious to ourselves and hence to others.
Spot on Harryjwhite.
I love that you stuck with this experiment Lieke, to discover the treasure that lay within. ‘Paying attention to these little feelings and honoring them is the key to staying with myself and feeling vital throughout my day’, is one such treasure I take from this delightful sharing, thank you.
It is incredible how seemingly ‘nice’ and ‘considerate’ thoughts for others can completely undermine our own necessary support systems. It is something I still struggle with, yet with each choice made, the consequences speak louder and louder in my body. It is truly important that we live in accordance with how we feel and not with what everyone else needs.
Your comment stopped me slightly Jenny with an internal ‘what’! But it’s so true if we’re doing nice and seeing others are taken care of but not taking us into the equation then how can this be true? And yet it’s so ingrained in us, and encouraged by society, and yet we know in our bodies when what we do is not true and the real truth is we need to live this no matter our or others discomfort.
Thank you for sharing Lieke, it is amazing how we can push ourselves and make ourselves do things against what we feel or what our body is telling. I love little experiments like you have done as they can make such a difference, a key I have found in them is to appreciate the changes they have brought otherwise it is easy to slip back into old unloving patterns.
That’s such a great marker James to appreciate the changes our new loving patterns bring, otherwise it can be easy to slip back. Great reminder for me today, to know how I feel in my body and to celebrate the changes I’ve made that allow me to feel more of me.
That is awesome Monicag2 – a great reminder for me as well today! ☺
I’ve found over time that I can no longer over ride what my body wants and if I am resistant and do so, then I am on the end of the consequences of that choice with either a wound or a knock on the head to knock some sense into me. I found what I could get away with overriding years ago is no longer possible. Honouring our body and our rhythm is something that keeps being refined and taken deeper. It really is lovely when we stop choosing to let the outside world dictate so many of our choices. Making choices that support and nurture our body feels incredible and something to always be checking in with.
Love this Lieke; full of so much wisdom and common sense. When I had the same realisation that you had, that I had “been letting the outside world run my life for a long time”, I felt as if I had given myself permission to stop, take a breath and then to make the choice to live my life for me first. It certainly was no coincidence that slowly my long term exhaustion began to dissipate, and if I begin to feel deeply tired these days I know that it’s my body warning me that I have forgotten to listen to it: so then it’s time once again to stop, breathe and then make a different and more loving choice.
Very inspiring blog that makes a lot of sense, thank you Lieke. I recently went to bed at 9am and found the difference massive in how I was the next day. Sometimes I get up at 4am to make 6am appointments and on those days its so easy to get out of bed compared to getting up at 6am! So clearly the natural way is to go to bed really early and get up really early. But you’re right it’s so easy to get distracted and stimulated in order to push through which often in my case is done to fit in with those around me.
I can feel the responsibility of looking after our bodies with sleep rhythms – as it really does allow more energy and vitality to flow through us.
Agree Donna, and there is a reason why we have night and day. If we consider how much an average person sleeps in the 24-hour cycle, we should more honor what our body needs. Honestly speaking there are very few who would say that late bed times are healthy – reality shows the truth. Sleeping disorders are a common illness.
Yep- I’ve done that too Rachael… pushed through to fit in with those around me. It doesn’t do anyone any favors yet it continues to happen. I can’t believe what a difference going to bed at 9 makes… It may seem early but by golly it makes a difference. Then you wake up early as you said and have so much time and space to do things.
Very true Emily. And many people do it the other way around, going to bed late and sleeping as long as possible in the morning but I have found that in the early morning I am way more vital than in the late evening and can do lots more.
Thank you Lieke, how incredible that by the quality you went to sleep in, you woke up in, and that was then to carry through the day, everyday becoming more consistent. And to think of how many people go to bed after 9pm – many people seem to be unaware of these natural cycles. Of interesting note was the lessening focus after a few days, it can show our inconsistency – one of our greatest downfalls, and is all too common in my experience also. The deep honouring of Thy self is truly noted.
A lovely blog Lieke. I love going to bed at 9pm but also find that it is how I live during the day that has a direct effect on how I sleep and how I feel the next day.
I agree Rebecca and Lieke. If i react during the day and find it hard to let go of something that has happened, it continues to drain me throughout the day and during the night.
When i let things go or do not take them on in the first place, i do not get tired.
I have found this too Deborah, when I react to a situation I can find it harder to sleep and rather than rest I prefer to distract myself with a screen in order to not feel what has been going on. If on the other had I let things go, do not react or take things on I am less tired and I find it far easier to prepare for sleep.
Very well said – what a great observation of how reactions and taking things on around us affects us at every level. In determining the quality of our sleep but how we live during the day, this will clearly affect how we approach and live our next day and so the cycle continues on and on.
It is definitely worth paying detailed attention to our quality of energy throughout the day and letting go of our reactions and hurts.
Great point Rebecca Turner. How we feel is the result of a ceaseless momentum of all that we think, do and say moment after moment after moment. Each choices determining the quality of what comes next. Sometimes I have found myself exhausted at the end of the day as a result of something I did way back in the morning! That the effects of our choices snowball is a very important part of learning how to expand our awareness and deepen self-care.
I really enjoyed your blog Lieke, I have been appreciating more that it is not just the time I go to bed that impacts my quality the next day but how I have done everything in the day that is of paramount importance.
Yes exactly Stephen, and we could say this is such hard thing but I actually see it as a beautiful reminder to live every day fully honouring myself as I know what the consequences will be the next day if I don’t!
Lieke – I love how you have looked at your life with fresh eyes, it’s so easy to make little changes when you do that, this is a fresh day and I am going to look at it with fresh eyes too 🙂
Me too Meg – looking through fresh eyes is definitely on the menu.
It’s easy to look and see everything the same, but we miss how simple are the details are to change, and by doing that we also miss how much magic is present in our lives.
There is so much we can learn about ourselves if we set a cycle for ourselves, like you did with the 9 days of going to bed at 9pm, and observe ourselves on a specific theme or action. Doing this is a form of self-care in itself and allows us to deepen the relationship with ourselves.
Lieke, I enjoy the lightness In Which You describe And exemplify the concept of ‘honouring your body’. Thanks!
Dear Lieke, thank you for your inspiration and for your blog. It is truly amazing how the magic of God works in our lives when we are open to hearing the message. I had made a decision to rest today as my body has been feeling so tense and racy from continually over riding what I felt was true in order to please another. Your blog has encouraged me to honour my body and not allow outside influences to make me waiver from my resolve.
“I realise that I have been letting the outside world run my life for a long time.” I can so relate to living this way Lieke, Wanting to please people rather than listening to what is true for me and not honouring this is exhausting, I have still not mastered going to bed at 9 it is something I promise myself but an email or something last minute comes in to distract me, rather than honouring a natural rhythm that is naturally healing for my body.
“In the past I would often ignore my body and override how I felt. This could be because I didn’t want to offend people or make them feel uncomfortable, or because I didn’t want to appear different, or simply because I chose to ‘push through’ to get things done and not listen to my body.” Indeed Lieke much of what i have learnt through Universal Medicine has allowed me to discern before saying YES to consider how my body feels in that moment and what feels true for me. A seemingly small change has had a hugely enriching impact on my life. There is nothing more empowering than honouring yourself and the reflection this brings to others is a true blessing.
Reading your blog this morning puts me on notice that I am still doing things because I feel I ought to sometimes. When I catch this tendency in myself and explore it, as you did with your Dad, I often find the duty that I had imposed upon myself did not truly exist. It was of my own fabrication and not real at all. How beautiful it is to shine the light on this falseness that keeps us away from being the powerful players in the world that we truly are.
This is something I’ve been experimenting with too Lieke; going to bed at 9pm instead of staying up a bit later ‘getting things done’ or procrastinating on my phone/social networks (as I’m sure a lot of us do!). Similar to you I often override the feeling that I need to rest because ‘there’s soooo much to do’ or ‘I just have to go there and do that today!’. I find it really amazing to not just go to bed at 9pm, but work on how I am in the day (reduce stress!) and also create half an hour or so before sleep where I can spaciously prepare for bed and do a bit of reading.
It makes a huge difference not cramming stuff in at the end of the day… especially social media. I find if I go on social media before bed it really impacts firstly the time it takes me to get to sleep, and secondly the quality of my sleep. It feels so much better like you suggest, to go to bed unstimulated.
Yes I find social media a huge distraction as well just before I go to sleep. It seems innocent but when I reflect on it now it is not really. It does effect my sleep quite a lot, probably also to why I was checking social media just before going to sleep… Didn’t I feel I was enough that day? Did I appreciate the lovely space of being with me?
Yes the amount of stimulation, emotional turmoil and general distraction on social media is far from the innocence it portrays itself to be. I love your question – why do we feel our day was not enough? Or are we distracting ourselves away from something we don’t want to feel so that we don’t truly rest to heal what is going on?
Thank you Lieke this is beautiful to read and I can relate to it all so much. Having spent much of my life working around and pleasing other people I have not really honoured myself all the time and it really is exhausting. Listening to my body and truly honouring what I feel is a real gift and learning which requires practice but as you say when we do it is both beautiful and allows for a vitality and joy. As with early to bed and a restful true nights sleep honouring our bodies is very powerful and allows for true health and way of living in appreciation and love of others too.
Beautifully shared Tricia. To honour us and our body needs some practice. For too long we have practiced disregard with our body so that this has become easy and even automatic for us to do. We have to re-learn to make self-lovingly choices and to honor what we perceive.
Isn’t it beautiful? We learn something, claim it into our living and then…the next learning is already knocking.
Thank you Lieke for this lovely blog. I used to think my sleep routine was about just getting enough sleep and it did not matter what time I went to bed. Since preparing to go to bed in the early evening and then being in bed before 9 I find I need less sleep and waken refreshed much earlier in the morning.
Thank you Lieke for a great reminder to honour what we are feeling, even if it doesn’t fit in with what others want – sometimes I forget this and as a result it always leaves me feeling exhausted.
Lieke what a powerful blog. I too find that the time I sleep has a direct relationship on how i feel waking up but more so than that is honouring myself during the day. The familiar pleasing people vs doing what I feel true to do and expressing what I feel rather than expressing what I think people want to hear, whilst so greatly improved from the past, has many more steps to go. Something you’ve reminded me of and I’ll be running my own experiment on.
Thank you Lieke for this very lovely, simple, practical article. I also enjoy going to bed at 9.00pm ish, if i go any later i feel tired the next day, instead of waking up feeling well and ready for the day. I love what you have written here; ‘life is about honouring our body, re-connecting to its innate wisdom and living from there,’ this is so simple and so beautiful.
Lieke, I too love to go to bed early. Sometimes it may be as early as 8pm, because that’s the time that feels right on that day. Learning to say no is also a very self loving act. I have recently dropped that feeling of obligation to do things for others if it is at my expense. Very freeing. Communicating this in a loving way is important, and I like how you talked this through with your dad.
It is great Lieke that at such a young age you are making a choice to listen to your body and pay attention to the small signs and no longer stay in your old patterns that did not support you. Excellent news for the world just to know there are young women like you honouring yourself in this way. I wish I knew Serge Benhayon in my 20’s but even though it was in my 40’s I have applied the wisdom he presents and my life is real, simple and very basic now and this is how I want to live as there is no tension in my body.
If “life happens” and I react I sure know what to do to get back to me and my natural state.
Going to bed early is absolute key if we are to ever see real change in our well-being.
There is a science behind this and its not just something Serge Benhayon is saying. He is giving us practical ways to really stamp out illness and disease if we choose to listen.
Hi Bina, there is a science behind going to bed early. Universal Medicine is Science, Religion and Philosophy. Its Universal so there is nothing that it does not exclude. It includes everything and anything – it has the answers.
Lieke, as you say, once you commit to going to bed early,and listen to your body, you feel how you live in the day affects your sleep. I have been going to bed by 9 for some years now, and have made small changes in my day, not trying to please everyone, but doing things in a way that supports my body more. It was timely for me to read your blog today, because now my body wants more, and needs me to make major changes to my work pattern. I have felt this as a growing need for a few weeks, one that can no longer be ignored, today is the day, and your blog has confirmed it. Thank you.
Thank you Lieke, you show clearly what a difference it makes addressing one area of life however soon after it is clear that the whole needs to be looked at. It is then beautiful how you shared that honouring yourself also is honouring of everyone. It is amazing how much we can do because of others assuming this is he right thing but actually it is more evolving for ourself and the all if.. “I can feel and appreciate how extremely self-empowering and self-caring it is to follow and honour my own feelings”
Knowing what is best for us in any given moment is already a gift to have, then to be able to see that we despite this knowing tend to do otherwise as we do not want to hurt somebody, get too much attention, disturb the seeming harmony, basically break out of our comfort/old ways is a step further, but to make the choice to stay with what we know is right for us is a gift for everyone as your example with your dad shows so clearly. And it does not turn out to be complicated or hard.
Thank you Lieke for your sharing on such an interesting topic. So many of us have picked up behaviours from a very young age where we go into doing things to please, so as to be liked and loved. We have no idea just how taxing this behaviour is on our energy levels. When we honour ourselves in every moment our body feeds this back to us with greater levels of vitality wellbeing and health. It is so simple, yet it wasn’t until Universal Medicine that I came to understand this.
This is a wise look at a simple truth Lieke – when we honour who we are, we don’t get caught up in the game of playing who we are not. We are love, and that love knows what is of this love and also, that which is not. There is no love in overriding the true signals and messages our bodies are communicating to us, so if this is what we choose to do, we will naturally feel depleted. It takes more energy to resist love than to be it. Is it no wonder then that the majority of people in our world are so very exhausted?
A lot of people in the world would deny the words of love, because they don’t recognise its emanating quality, but there is always a register, because we innately are love and hence can feel anything that is love and anything that is not. The energy of truth is the determining factor on what is true and what is not true, nothing that is of truth panders to one specifically but has a quality which emanates and expresses for all. And hence the learning in this is that we have a creation that is based on individual truths, or individual needs and quirks that are anything but truth, meanwhile truth lives and is constantly evolving, and impulsing us to return to the source.
True. True. True. “It takes more energy to resist love than to be it.”
Thank you for sharing your commitment to yourself Lieke and I feel inspired to re-commit to going to bed at 9pm and honouring the messages from my body and not allowing myself to be distracted from that. For me the consistency of being true to myself is something I still allow myself to override.
That is beautiful Helen. I can relate that it is easy to be distracted from honouring what is truly supportive for our body, like going to bed on time. It is easy to think that just doing that little bit more work on the computer is just needed and not going to influence us in any way… hmm yes.. not true.
I really enjoy reading your blogs Lieke as they are so filled with wisdom with what you are learning through your commitment to your relationship with your body. It can be so easy to disregard ourselves and not see the dire consequences and link exhaustion to what we’ve been doing and how we’ve been doing it, so your experiment has shown us how the dots are linked up. The medical profession would do so well to hear about this, as for a long time they’ve been saying that it’s lifestyle choices that affect our health. There is not much discussion about how living in a dishonouring and disregarding way of oneself is a lifestyle choice too, so thank you for opening up the discussion.
Thank you shevonsimon, it is funny but I just thought about the same thing the other day. That yes the medical profession and humanity as a whole is willing to consider lifestyle choices as being able to be harming to our bodies but that there is indeed a deeper level to explore which is more than what we choose to eat or do. It is actually about how we are doing things, what we are thinking about ourselves, how we move with ourselves that is all very much connected and has a huge impact on our bodies.
Thank you Lieke for sharing this observation. Choosing to dance to everyone else’s tune is exhausting. The lesson in your blog is that communication is so essential. When you talked to your Dad about your dilemma over not wanting to let him down it became clear this was no dilemma at all but your mind playing games with you to take you out of yourself and cause physical and mental exhaustion.
What an insightful blog Lieke to the ‘secret’ of staying vital, full of energy and having a powerfully rejuvenating sleep. Our night and quality of rest determines the quality of our day and in turn his we choose to be in the day affects how we are in our sleep. The less we take on other ‘stuff’, emotions etc, the more what we put to bed is simply ourselves and we can rest deeply in our own energy. And it’s very very yum ☺️
Many of us, from a very young age learn to override how we feel to please others or fit in. Learning to say no and changing our way to honouring how we feel is a very liberating thing.
Gorgeous blog Lieke, makes so much sense…to listen to our own feelings, to honour them first is how we remain vital and healthy, as opposed to pleasing everyone around us which actually drains us, drains our energy…..I did this for such a long time too.
I did it for a long time too jacqmcfadden04j. I can still feel pockets where I join in because “that’s the way everyone else does it” or being a rebel in total reaction and not committing at all doing it the way I want to do it. Both a lack of commitment to what I’m feeling.
Me too jacqmcfadden04j, and as you say pleasing others drains us when we are in that motion, but also afterwards. When we get hurt because we had an investment in how people then should interact with us after we have done everything for them. That is a big illusion bubble to wake up from.
This is beautiful and very inspiring, living from our inner most, with self-care and not pleasing others while it won’t fit in your day. I feel I have done this a lot, but choosing differently makes a huge change in the way I am with myself and the time I have for everything that is needed to be done.
As everything in life also the choice to go earlier to bed is a journey of exploration and refinement until it becomes a steady rhythm in our daily life.
Thank you Lieke for this beautiful blog. It is so important to live from our own plan instead of from the plan that is provided to us by others, as the latter will only please the others and does leave us behind exhausted. It feels like reclaiming our own energy and how to use it in life. When we do so, we become so powerful and we are also able to take care of ourselves even better because of this commitment to ourselves and to the service we deliver to humanity.
Self love is the bridge to greater love and openness with all – which is our only service with humanity. We can get tricked into thinking that we need to work hard or do more in order to be worthy of love – especially from God. This is the antithesis of God’s Love. He is always there as the beholder, never holding back one ounce of the love that he is, and always ready with the next package. We actually just need to surrender, and it is all there for us – no trying or exhaustion required. God is joy, love and harmony (amongst other amazing qualities) and shows us this is our natural way of being. Hard slog is not necessary, but we can choose it it we want to.
Nico, this is a great way to look at self care, “to live from our own plan instead of from the plan that is provided to us by others”. I’m not sure when my own feelings became less important than others, but it simply does not work and results in self neglect.
Yes Nico surrendering to what we bring and valuing that will deliver us from temptation.
Lieke, this is deeply touching and inspiring. I can so relate to wanting to please everyone which, as you have greatly exposed here in your blog,is exhausting! What I too am learning is that when we honour ourselves we in fact honour everyone. Thank you Lieke for the great reminder!
Yes me too… It’s so exhausting to play the pleasing game! What you’ve shared here Lieke is a powerful reminder of how no one really wins when we go into pleasing. We dishonour ourselves and others.
Yes very true samanthaengland. “when we honour ourselves we in fact honour everyone”. It is almost so normalised in society that we do not first consider our own feelings first but the feelings of the other. I am not saying it is a bad thing to be considerate of other people and understanding them, the opposite, but it is indeed not honouring them if we do not honour ourselves first. As that gives them the reflection that it is ok to not honor yourself. Plus my experience with honouring myself is that I feel more complete in myself and am then much more of a support to others when they need it.
I have spent a great deal of this life doing for others at the cost on myself. I, as you Samantha am ‘learning that when we honour ourselves we in fact honor everyone.’
Yes samanthaengland, by honouring ourselves we show others the value in honouring themselves.
‘When we honour ourselves we in fact honour everyone,’ that’s such a great point Samantha. Not only are we making loving choices and listening to what our body needs in each moment, we are inspiring others around us to do the same and give them an opportunity to connect to their essence. If we made living like this the norm then coffee and exhaustion wouldn’t plague humanity as it currently does.
Me too Samantha, I have found it so easy to go into pleasing mode, telling them what they want to hear rather than the truth. The problem is they do not then get to hear the truth and I end up frustrated and exhausted! So much better when we honor ourselves and everyone else!
It’s amazing how we feel like it is our work or tasks that exhaust us, when really it is how we are in them that dictates this. We are told that we need a certain amount of sleep, or conceded to feel exhausted from certain things – we accept that exhaustion and fatigue of certain levels are ‘normal’ when indeed they are not. There are many ways of being that can exhaust us, including trying to please or reacting all the time. This in fact drains us more than any lack of sleep will ever do. Our bodies need sleep, and this needs definite honouring, but more attention definitely needs to be paid to how we are living ALL day for this exhaustion to be truly addressed and rectified.
Yes Samantha trying to please others was something I knew very well too. Its amazing what we can uncover when we stop and honour ourselves first and do not let the comfort overrule.
So true Samanthaengland, when we honour ourselves in truth we honour all others. This is how we inspire each other as Lieke’s blog confirms.
Thankyou Samanthaengland and James. I’ve realised I’ve made speaking up about how I feel more complicated than it needs to be and that people don’t mind at all if plans need to change or I cannot say yes. It’s better for everyone if I am in harmony with myself and caring for my own needs.
Yes it is exhausting but I have felt quite ashamed of trying to please everyone because not only does it dishonour me, it also insults them because it presumes that they can’t take me being me and all that comes from me…whatever I say, do or even ask.
Lieke, this is superb… as you have shown us in a very practical way, what it really means, and looks like, to self care. “I realise that I have been letting the outside world run my life for a long time” … And what a difference this makes to your energy levels.
Yes Johanne learning how to self care is a very practical thing. When we consistently make those self loving choices the loving quality we invite into our bodies can be deeply felt and is gorgeous to feel.
Yes, and I love what Lieke says about the stillness before bed – how we run our day impacts the level of Stillness and quality we put ourselves to bed in.
Thank you for highlighting that bit of Lieke’s blog johannebrown17. Precious piece of the puzzle that. ‘I realise that I have been letting the outside world run my life for a long time’
Amazing johannebrown17 something so simple “as you have shown us in a very practical way, what it really means, and looks like, to self care”. It was until Serge Benhayon and Natalie Benhayon presented the ‘spleen cycle’ did I change my habits around an early bed time i.e. by 9pm.
I so enjoyed what you share with us all Lieke – I’ve also realised that what I eat for my last meal of the day and at what time I do this also has an impact on my getting a healing sleep at night time. It is so beautiful as you share to honour our bodies and to wake feeling so fresh and vital for the day ahead.
That’s a great realisation you have shared Marion – it’s quite a different approach to preparing for the next day – but makes so much sense. It is so empowering when you realise that the choices we make today – in everything from food, to our bedtime to whether or not we go into pleasing others instead of doing what actually feels right for us – has a direct impact on how we feel the following day. We can either awake fresh and revitalised, or “hungover” from the buildup of our choices that have not been so supportive.
Thank you for sharing this Marion re the last meal of the day.
Yes Marion, I have noticed that myself, the lighter and earlier the meal the more my body likes it. I also find that there are days where I have eaten enough at lunch and my body doesn’t need more in the evening, a herbal tea is all my body really wants.
Thank you, Lieke, how wonderful to discover that just by honouring your feelings and listening to you body can make such a difference in your energy levels. I suppose this goes to show how much more energy is available to us when we just stay with ourselves and let others do their own thing.
Thank you, Lieke. I love your sharing. A beautiful reminder that in a way we spend all day preparing for a rejuvenating sleep at night – which leads us to another day where we get to be more of ourselves being in the world, so it goes on a cycle of evolution.
Thank you Lieke. I really enjoyed reading your blog and certainly could relate to all that you shared. Listening to the signal of the body has got to be one of the most basic things we can do to support ourselves yet most people simply do not do it. However, when we do start doing it we get to feel how simple it is and how very effective it is. These are the types of things we ought to be discussing at dinner parties/lunch breaks etc.
Beautifully said Lieke.
Honouring our feelings and acting on them is the best thing to resolve resentment. I have found that staying strong to my feelings allows me to be confident and clear and satisfied with life. If I don’t, I can easily become agitated and go into blaming others.
Great point Luke. When we agree to be and do something we know is going against what we truly feel is best in that moment it can lead to feelings of resentment. I’ve found when I make loving choices in one moment it sets me up for the unfolding of many more loving moments’ afterwards. Doing things to please others is living in disregard and can have disastrous outcomes.
Agree Tracy, this is also how pleasing others is so draining and can never be fully sustained.
And to add to this Luke, the interesting part I’ve found is that when I honour my feelings and what I know to be true and supportive to me, not only is there less opportunity for resentment and blame to fester, I can feel how much my choices also support and honour others and how this supports to build relationships that are more honest, aware and open to more expression and connection.
Totally agree Angela. At first it seems as though we honour our feelings to benefit ourselves. However once time passes and we constantly choose this honouring we can see how our choices affect everything. We realise our choices are actually for everything and everyone as much as it is for ourselves.
Super true Luke- I have found the exact same. If i don’t follow my feelings all sorts goes down and the resentment, agitation and blame comes in. Following how you feel for me has definitely boosted my confidence… I’m becoming my own little cheer squid- letting myself understand what I’m feeling and choose is okay.
This is great to hear Emily and I agree.
I agree Luke, staying strong to our feelings builds a foundation within to trust what we feel, this builds a confidence within. And if it turns out wrong at times, then we still do not have to bash our self but learn from the experience and move on.
Agree diana1975, from our mistakes there is still an opportunity to deeply grow. Recently I have been experiencing this more often. I’m not saying they are huge mistakes but little details that I would do differently next time round. And you’re right no bashing whatsoever.
That is true Luke, everything offers us a reflection.
So true Luke I can absolutely relate to what you have said. Listening To My Body And Honouring My Feelings is an amazing way to live. “Honouring our feelings and acting on them is the best thing to resolve resentment. I have found that staying strong to my feelings allows me to be confident and clear and satisfied with life. If I don’t, I can easily become agitated and go into blaming others.”
Glad you like it Margaret 🙂
Yes Luke, if we take responsibility for us, what we feel and honour that, there is no space for resentment or blame – we are doing our part, and as it opens the space for all to do the same.
Agree everything is connected…
I have read a few comments now and its great how the majority share this view also.
I love your point too Luke “Honouring our feelings and acting on them is the best thing to resolve resentment”. Your feelings are yours; resentment is trying to control someone’s way-of-being that is not yours. Why the need to control when as you say Luke “staying strong to my feelings allows me to be confident and clear and satisfied with life”.
Agree Rik, and it allows a huge amount of understanding to become a part of our daily lives.
Yes very true Luke. Yesterday I could feel this for fact when I chose to honour my feelings and went back home to get a dry pair of pants and socks on after being caught by a stormy rain. Even though a lot of other people shared they did not go home as they were sure there would be rain again after changing clothes. In the past I definitely would have enjoined the group but because of feeling stronger in myself and what I feel I decided to go home and no rain on my travel and warm clothes on my way back to uni. I felt then that I would have gone very easily into blaming them for not getting dry clothes on if I had stayed with them.
agree and cool story. Honouring our feelings always pays out…
Lieke, this is a beautiful blog.
Your comment ‘I realise I have been letting the outside world rule my life for a long time’ I relate to strongly.
Thank you for choosing to honour you.
I agree Susan, this is a great line. We need to remember how to live from the inside out, so that we do not get swamped by letting the outside in. Love emanates, and all that is not love, imposes.
Love also that point Liane. How to not get spammed by something. When I am living an aware, strong and deep connection with my body ‘the outside’ can not so easily fill me with something that does not fit to me, because there is already something: love/me. No space for what I am not.
“No space for what I am not”
Very beautifully put Sandra. When we live the fullness of our love we are enormous, and in that space, there is no space, for all that is not of this love.
I agree with you Liane, there is such a huge power, presence and enormity when we live in the fullness of our love – that what is not doesn’t even stand a chance.
Yes, I agree it is a great line. If we live ruled by the outside world, not only do we get exhausted but we then are less able to contribute to the world. Whilst when we are living from ‘the inside out’ we have far more vitality and energy, as Lieke beautifully shares, to enhance not only our own life but also the lives of others.
So if we are feeling ourselves emanate at the end of the day, what choices have we made that have led us to feeling imposed upon?
So beautifully worded Liane and Susan, it’s when we get ‘swamped’ by the outside world that we lose our rhythm which is so simply connected to by listening to the body. When we listen and make the choices that the body calls for, then our rhythm is naturally there and we don’t feel the need for a deviation or distraction, and the rhythm and our relationship with the rhythm gets stronger with each self loving choice such as going to bed early if we are tired, or staying home to study if we feel that this is what is needed at the time. It is so much about living from the inside out and not getting swamped by living from the outside in.
Great simple summary of how love works Liane – Love emanates, and all that is not love, imposes. Philosophers through the ages have tried to define Love in streaming volumes of writing and you have done it in 9 words. Lovely!
Inside out. Not outside in. That’s a neat mantra. I like it. Thanks Liane. Gorgeous blog Lieke and it shows how simple and energising life can be when we make different choices.
Beautifully said Liane. Living from inside out and not outside in has always struck me as being the essence of the Way of the Livingness. And I love the simplicity of Love emanates, and all that is not love, imposes. That’s a fridge sticker for me.
That line really hit me too Liane and Susan, Lieke has really captured teh fallacy of how I often live and it is exhausting as I try and keep all those plates spinning, and yet recently as I’ve started to take more space and say what I feel, life has flowed more and I’ve been surprised. And Liane I love that ‘Love emanates and all this is not love, imposes.’ And Lieke, beautiful and timely blog.
Well said Susan – so easily done, when we don’t have a solid foundation of love for ourselves to build on.