No Longer Living with the Expectations, Stress & ‘Doing’ of Working as a Hairdresser

I have worked as a hairdresser for most of my life, a role I found to be always busy and in high demand, and one where I placed extreme expectations on myself. Not only did I do this in the workplace but also at home, even though at the time I believed that for me work and home were two separate things.

I found hairdressing a job that was run by the clock; a clock that made me feel like I never had enough time to get done what was needed, let alone time for myself to stop, eat or re-assess the day.

My experience of work was:

  • Being the one everyone else relied on, the one that could do it all
  • Placing huge amounts of pressure on myself to perform
  • Often disliking my work due to pressures I had placed on myself
  • Rarely able to achieve or fulfil what I thought was needed during the day
  • Overwhelm (before my day even started, it often felt like one big spin)
  • Unrealistic expectations, creating a stress-full environment for all concerned.

Over time, my body started to develop illness and disease, such as back and hip pain from being on my feet for long periods, shoulder problems from repetitive motions, not to mention digestive issues due to the lack of time I allowed myself to stop and eat. I was then diagnosed with fibromyalgia, an illness that rendered me unable to work. I was in constant pain, with aches in most of my joints and a body that was exhausted from even the simplest of chores.

Eventually I realised that I could no longer continue with the way I was working as a hairdresser or living in general, (or, should I say ‘existing’, at home and at work), watching my life disappear in front of my very own eyes.

I was told by the medical profession to adjust my lifestyle accordingly. I was sent to pain management clinics to learn how to manage the pain and symptoms, and started taking medications. I also started doing gentle stretches and walking to try and help reduce the inflammation and keep my joints mobile.

Although I could feel there had to be a way to make other choices that would give me a life and not an existence, at the same time I began to think there would never be a solution, or an end to what was slowly becoming worse.

Introduced to Serge Benhayon – Time to Get Serious about My Choices and My Commitment

Then one day an old client gave me the card of a practitioner by the name of Serge Benhayon: my first thought was, he must be just another hippy dude in Byron with spiritual jargon. However, my life was dismal; I was 28 and living in my mother’s garage… so I had nothing to lose.

Serge Benhayon certainly was not your average Joe, and he certainly was not full of hippy jargon; he wore shorts and a t-shirt and didn’t smell like he needed a shower or had fallen into a Patchouli bottle. He didn’t try to sell himself or anything else, he simply listened, observed and did some hands on esoteric healing. It was simple, but the most powerful thing I had ever experienced, and what I could feel was just about to change my entire life and wellbeing. This led to becoming aware of choices that I had made and I was now able to feel why it was that I had got to this point in the first place.

I was no longer seeking a solution, or looking for a band-aid that would best fit. It was time to get serious, to get to the nitty gritty of everything I had buried over the years that I did not want to feel or express, and let me tell you there was plenty.

I began packing food for work, having breaks when needed, going to the toilet when I needed to instead of ‘hanging out’, observing how I was standing while doing a client’s hair, having short walks before and after work, and taking the time to feel my body. I began feeling how I was before I started work and how I was when I finished; it was this quality that I took from home to work or from work to home, until being at work and being at home became the same quality.

At work I began to accept I didn’t have to know or do it all; that everyone had something to offer and when we all worked together everything that was needed would be achieved. Some of us were great with customers and others were great with marketing; both were equally needed in order to support the business depending on the skills we had to offer at that time. It was here that I began to ask for help, to admit when I did not know something and to accept that there may be days where not everything I wanted to do would be completed.

These were big steps for me; letting go of old patterns and behaviours and ways of doing things, breaking the mould so to speak, was work in itself. I began to stop having expectations of how my day should be and in doing so, found that not only did I feel less stressed and exhausted, more was actually achieved (without trying) and completed with clarity and an understanding of others and myself.

It is through making the commitment to love and care for myself, and allowing myself to feel the hurts of the past that I had buried, that have led me to live the life I have now; without the symptoms of fibromyalgia, doing more now in a day than ever without getting tired, fatigued or exhausted, and with a body that is now truly vital and alive, and with eyes that glow and skin that shines.

Now working as a hairdresser and living in a way that is open to what is needed, I am allowing myself to do what is needed when it is needed. I am naturally getting more done and am now able to support my colleagues and family in a way that I wasn’t able to before. I find my days at work are no longer draining or exhausting, but are fun and light.

Observing the way I was at work also allowed me to see how I was at home, and I began to ask myself “How could I be one way at home and another way at work?” It made no sense. I realised that making changes with the way I was at home and the quality of my self-care helped me with how I was at work, and vice versa.

As a result, the quality of my life at home and work have become one; I am more approachable, and no longer living my day in complete overwhelm, exhaustion and chaos. I can connect to people without rushing around doing 100 things at once, and am able to be with them and to have true connections instead of the shallow contacts I had in the past.

When I watch myself now, I observe myself doing what is needed, stopping when I feel like things are getting chaotic, feeling what is needed and then going forth from there. I’ve found I’m no longer trying to move forward from and in the chaos, but that I can choose to move forward from the stillness within myself – the stillness that I reconnected to by healing my hurts and letting go of the expectations I had of how I should live my life.

Having developed a quality and foundation of self-care which is always deepening, I now have a foundation for me that enables me to be me, no matter where I am or what I am doing.

Inspired by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, for without their inspiration and ongoing support none of this would be possible.

 By Nicole Serafin, Woman, Wife, Mother, Hairdresser, Tintenbar NSW

Further Reading:
Is there Such A Thing As A Job With No Stress?
High Stress, Poor Health: Can We Change The Way We Work?
Elegance And Purpose – At Work
Bringing The Quality of Love Into Cleaning

860 thoughts on “No Longer Living with the Expectations, Stress & ‘Doing’ of Working as a Hairdresser

  1. It is amazing the effect true self-care has. I had no idea what true self-care was, felt, or looked like until Serge Benhayon presented it so clearly. More than simply taking a bath or ‘treating ourselves, self-care is a quality, that is in everything we do, and an ever unfolding nurturing that enriches us no-end.

  2. It is amazing the impact of what self-care and taking responsibility of one’s choices can have in our lives, it creates more space for us to express more of who we truly are without any trying but the surrendering to what’s needed in our lives.

  3. It is not just the amount of work we can achieve when first coming from a connection within but also the quality of that which we leave behind us. This quality when we have worked from our inner most has the potential to heal many others. We are so much more powerful than we realise.

  4. What strikes me Nicole is the simplicity of the changes that you made and how profound these were and are on your health and wellbeing. It also speaks volumes on the level of responsibility we have to self-care and self-nurture and how we treat ourselves not only for ourselves but also because of the subsequent effect this has on our interactions with others.

  5. Perfectionism has had a hold on me as well, trying to do it all, be it all, and to achieve whilst putting great pressure on myself. There were so many expectations because I had no real relationship with myself, so my ability to love or appreciate myself was nil, hence the desperate need to prove myself in work – which always felt hollow and empty no matter what I achieved, which led to more cycles of driving myself and achieving. Now, thanks to Universal Medicine, my focus is more on the quality I am connected to in myself, honouring and loving the woman I am, and caring for my body. Work still gets done but I don’t need it to prove myself, I’m already enough.

  6. Hairdressers have a window to the world, seeing many people every day in such an intimate setting, and also wearing the burden of expectation of their clients. Having a sense of self within the day assists all of us to bring who we are to our jobs and not be swayed by the pressure of the role.

  7. To this day I can’t stand the smell of Patchouli, it reminds me of everything spiritual and not in a good way.

  8. Perfectionism can be a poison, it eats away at what is natural and flowing and replaces with it with expectations, ideals and beliefs that always keep us wanting. Life is not perfect, human beings are not perfect, when we drop our imposed pictures of perfection life becomes once again free.

    1. Perfectionism feels like a heaviness, almost claustrophobic. In the body it feels like a hardness as we push ourselves towards an unrealistic bar that we’ve set way above ourselves. There’s a harshness to perfectionism, a seriousness that squashes all elements of light and playfulness. When we let it go and just allow ourselves to be as we naturally are, to make mistakes and be okay with that, there’s no stress, no drive: just a flow and an allowing of ourselves to be human.

  9. ‘At work I began to accept I didn’t have to know or do it all; that everyone had something to offer and when we all worked together everything that was needed would be achieved.’ We all have different strengths and weaknesses and when we combine them all they are truly complementary and collectively very powerful indeed.

  10. I can relate to so much that you share Nicole and for me the pressure and expectations are also in relationships. I certainly lived “Being the one everyone else relied on, the one that could do it all.” and with this came a focus on others and not on myself. I’m finding that Esoteric Yoga, as offered through Esoteric Women’s Health, has really supported me to live for me, to focus on myself and leave everyone to be responsible for their lives. I’m still a work in progress but each Esoteric Yoga program helps me to deepen living this way and accept myself exactly as I am.

    1. Esoteric yoga has massively supported me to also live and love me for me, and let everyone else be responsible for their own choices, and me for mine. It’s also helped me to accept myself as I am now- and to stop working and striving to achieve a perfect version of myself. Nowhere to get to, nothing to fix, just an acceptance of all that I already am, right now.

  11. Recalling my business days, they were very much as you described, always against the clock and everything a struggle is how I remember them and then the wine every night to unwind me. It is hardly surprising that after 20 years of living like this I was burned out and needed to come to a complete stop. It was killing me slowly but the surprising thing is that the stop lasted 7 years and I felt no better after a 7 year break. It was only when I met Serge Benhayon and listened to his lectures that I started to see more clearly how I needed to change the way I was living to change my health.

  12. The relationship I have with time is unhealthy. It’s not at the obvious point you had Nicole but I can still feel the pressure on my body. What is it? It’s possible that I hold time out from everything else, like it’s the controller of my movements. As you are saying and your ‘way back’ was to take care of the way you move and move how you felt. You didn’t keep watching the clock and try and refine the process. Where to from here? Keep moving how I feel and not watching the clock and then moving from there. My relationship is more than time management and this is a continual process, thank you Nicole.

  13. We can seriously exhaust ourselves by putting expectations on how we think we should be or our day should go; being attached to a picture or ideal squashes us into conforming to something that may not actually be true or harmonious. Bringing it back to what I feel from my body has helped me enormously too.

  14. In every job and indeed in everything in life we have a choice to be in time or in space. When we choose time we feel yucky and stressed and when we choose space we feel expansive and time matters not one jot. This is so evident and obvious once you have experienced the difference, which we all have so why is it that we choose the misery that being in time brings us?

  15. When we create more space for us and take responsibility for our lives and choose self-care and self-love we naturally know how to communicate with our bodies and the nurturing we need to support true expression.

  16. Focusing on living our qualities, and in a quality that is supportive, nurturing and loving is where it is at. As you have so beautifully shared with us Nicole. I love that you were able to truly change the way you worked and how you live with yourself, impacting all of those around you in the most loving and positive way.

  17. I love the approach you took Nicole – of not just seeking a surface solution but being willing to look deeper and underneath what was going on for you at work in order to truly heal and grow on all levels.

  18. Wow Nicole, your blog is so supportive for us all to read. Many people suffer similar ailments or even worse conditions of illness and disease from a number of things, pushing themselves, over working and under a lot of stress due to expectations, unrealistic goals and not taking acre of themselves. Your choice to change this, work and live in a way that supports your body and to build a deeper connection with your self is deeply inspiring. You are showing us that there is another way and we can let go of all expectations and stress, and be equally successful at work and at home by embracing true connection with ourselves first.

  19. Excellent post! Good job! We all have heard the stories, even before we entered hairdressing, however it stands the test of time that issues needs to be addressed as stress and standing on our feet all day takes its toll on our body. Exercise and correct body position is very important in our line of work.

    Please take good care of yourself.

  20. What you share about building yourself so that the quality to take home is the quality you take to work is really simple to understand – that there is no magical demarcation where the choices we make at home to check out, over eat or generally not look after ourselves get left behind and we step into our place of work or office at home totally free of them – the choices we make where ever we are follow us into the next moment – and so its not about making one area, home life or work life or a hobby or friends the place where everything is perfect, its about an all round commitment not to perfection but to the best of our ability, one quality in all areas – still a long way to go but it makes so much sense why it is worth doing.

  21. ‘As a result, the quality of my life at home and work have become one’ Beautiful Nicole why would we change the way we are with people depending of where we are but we do, we protect ourselves of being hurt and see our home as a safe haven. The more I feel me and how much I actually love people the more I open up and let myself be, not in perfection but as a simple and true way to live.

  22. Again it comes back to quality doesn’t it? It’s not how much we get done but the quality that we bring to whatever we do. This quality we can feel in our body and it can be a marker wherever we are or whatever we are doing.

  23. ‘Eventually I realised that I could no longer continue with the way I was working as a hairdresser or living in general’ – Its a great stop moment when we start taking responsibility for caring for our body in the way it requires.

    1. Expectations hold us and others prisoners of our own making. The freedom found in letting go of these expectations can be immense, and yes, I agree ” we create the space where we can express from a true and simple way of being”.

  24. It is interesting how we place ourselves in jobs that support a way of relating to the world that suits us even if we later complain about it. It is not by chance that we end up working in what we do.

  25. “Having developed a quality and foundation of self-care which is always deepening, I now have a foundation for me that enables me to be me, no matter where I am or what I am doing.” Consistency is key and something of a work in progress for me. Great blog Nicole, thankyou.

  26. The benefits of what Serge Benhayon presents are miraculous, so many people world wide are living healthier, vibrant and loving lives just by making self care choices.

  27. It is interesting how we live in a way that makes us vulnerable to illbeing coming our way. We flirt with illbeing and we even justify it as normal if it strikes us. Yet, we have to be clear on this: we make it possible by how we live.

  28. It is such a healing when we can let go of the constraints of expectations and allow ourselves to trust and surrender knowing that as long as we stay connected to the quality within there is absolutely nothing else to be done.

  29. “I’ve found I’m no longer trying to move forward from and in the chaos, but that I can choose to move forward from the stillness within myself”
    Moving forward in stillness sounds so supportive, expansive, gorgeous and self loving Nicole. Also letting go of expectations, need and ‘doing’, what a wonderful way to live.

  30. It makes sense that behaving as two different people – one at work and one at home – would be exhausting. By bringing our full selves to everything we do, we can just simply be, and not do.

  31. Nicole something I’ve noticed too, ‘At work I began to accept I didn’t have to know or do it all; that everyone had something to offer and when we all worked together everything that was needed would be achieved.’ When everyone plays their part in the whole, there is no need to stress or get caught up in trying to do someone else’s work, It is beautiful to have a flow that flows both ways.

  32. Huge changes Nicole, massive in fact and this from a session with Serge Benhayon. I like what you are saying because you went away and made the choices for yourself. No one lead you or told you or directed you to do them. The quality of the session then gave you a chance to look at what was going on in your life and there you had a choice to make a change. The changes you made as a result were massive as I’ve said and who knows where you would be without this quality of care being offered to you. It shows us that no matter what we are in or what is happening the deep level of care we have for ourselves is what is paramount in any moment. We can do whatever we want so long as we hold this care for ourselves first.

    1. Indeed Ray, these sessions makes us connect to that essence in us that naturally holds a loving care for oneself, for everybody we are with and for everybody we meet.

  33. This is an incredible story, one that I was not actually aware of until reading this article. I find it incredibly inspiring to work through a chronic illness like this, from both a medical and energetic prospective. I swear you should write a book with all you have been through in your life!

  34. Our being makes no distinction in how to be if we are at home, with friends, doing our shopping’s, or being at work, it all matters and contributes to the quality of bing in all environments we live in as for our being it is one life, only our mind can live in this fragmented way of life which is not our natural state of being.

  35. It is true that work and home life are all one thing – or at least – I have found this to be true. The changes we make in our bodies support us in all environments – and this is a great sharing of how honouring the body is so key and supports massive changes.

  36. A very clear demonstration that our body is clearly telling us when the way we are living is harming us and when we choose more self-loving ways to be the body says ‘thank you’.

  37. Nicole, this is so amazing, and I love how you dedicated yourself absolutely to the detail of how you lived and made the changes to ensure that you brought the same quality into everything, work, home, all the same. What an inspiration to feel that dedication and commitment and how simply and practically you applied it, thank you for sharing this. I want to hear more.

  38. I love your description of Serge, it’s interesting however to realise that I had this respect for Serge even before I met him. I had heard quite a lot about him from my boyfriend and his mother, however I never assumed that he’d be the amazing person that I have in my life today.
    During the weekend when I met him, I had so many doubts about him. I felt like I was being discerning and that I am smarter than everybody else who is just following blindly, however now I know just how wrong I was in that thinking because to be fair, everything he said during that weekend felt 100% true for me and until this day it still does.

  39. Letting go of expectations of how your day/life should be is so enormous. It’s like the answer is right there, available to us to take on board. This is something I would very much like to continue practicing, as I can feel the freedom it brings.

  40. Also found the note about Serge not having fallen in a patchouli bottle particularly funny! You can smell a hippie a mile away.

  41. Establishing a foundation of true self-care allows us to forever expand and deepen that care for ourselves…. and the ripple effect of this care is felt in every aspect of our daily lives.

  42. Who would have thought taking responsibility could be so super rewarding! This is definitely something sorely missed in our education especially because we now have a common perception that taking responsibility is actually a burden.

  43. Through simple changes we make throughout our day to bring self care into our routine we can begin to uncover what holds us back from being this way consistently. I have found the observation and letting go of perfection allows for such expansion in these moments it then flows into all areas of our lives for the better. I love using really simple tasks at work like giving a customer their change or sweeping the storefront and feeling every movement made supports me in how I tenderly care for myself and I then watch how this flows into other areas of my life too.

  44. I remember when I first started to work as a teacher how I would start my day already in overwhelm and I had a constant high level if anxiety. I can relate to feeling my job was run by the clock, since each lesson is an hour and in that time I was expected to deliver a set amount of the curriculum. I can look back and see that a lot of anxiety was due to the pressure I put myself under. I made simple changes like you Nicole that have made the world of difference. Self-care was the place I started.

  45. There must be so many people who can relate to this sharing Nicole, and particularly I would think in the hairdressing industry. I love that share about asking for help, what a difference it can make when we accept we can’t do it all, and allow others to support us. And also to stop when you feel it gets chaotic, and just hit the reset button, I know that feeling and how much we can change in an instant when we give ourselves a breath.

  46. I’ve become very aware of how the industry I am in is also run on time. I’m noticing how much the quality I start my day in is not the same quality I finish my day in as I put myself under so much pressure to get it all done when frequently it is not needed.

  47. There is nothing spiritual or hippy about Serge Benhayon and I have seen and met a few ‘guru’s’. What he presents and delivers is the truth and it is for us to do what we like with that truth, there is absolutely no sell or justification from him.

  48. Such an amazing support offered by Serge Benhayon to many people over many years, you could say before his time. It’s inspiring to see people like this turn not only their lives around but turn their illnesses around with relatively simple things like self care. This when you read it makes logical sense but yet it still has us suspicious or reacting. I wonder what would happen if we all followed in the footsteps of this blog? Responsibility like this is difficult for us to swallow and from where I stand this is where most of the critique comes from, us not wanting to see that level of responsibility let alone live it ourselves. We can hide all manner of things in this world because we have walked away from listening to how things feel and made life about a myriad of other things. When it all comes down to it, no matter what we are saying we each hold an individual which goes out to a group responsibility to live and move in a quality that supports us all. We look around and don’t see many leading this responsibility and so when there is a few it’s easy to rubbish them then to listen to what is being said. Serge Benhayon is consistently bringing us all to more of the responsibility we are naturally from, we can fight it or see the blessing each part of this brings. Those that see the blessing are able to move more freely in the world and slowly change how we all look at things. This isn’t a new way but an old way that we allowed to go to sleep. If we truly look through history we see this responsibility said many times over and so in that way have we really gone anyway or have we just changed the setting? Time to live the responsibility we are again or not it’s your choice. Equally in that choice we need to allow others to live how they feel as well.

  49. What a beautiful transformation Nicole; the changes and choices you have made, and the responsibility you have taken is very inspiring. I love what you have expressed here;
    “Having developed a quality and foundation of self-care which is always deepening, I now have a foundation for me that enables me to be me, no matter where I am or what I am doing”.

  50. It is remarkable how many of us have foundations in place that are actually detrimental to us in light of the way we then move through life from them … and yet they remain unaddressed and unaltered. The power of introducing self-love to this and moving with this in mind, clearly has the potential to be incredibly transformational in all areas of our lives.

  51. Awesome to read as I finally admit it’s time to get down to the nitty gritty and look straight in the eye what I’ve tried to bury all my life.

  52. It is interesting how the word doing can often be mistaken for purpose. Although the two words are so different in meaning they can become the same when we bring drive into the equation. When we live from a purpose in all aspects of our life be it our working professions, doing the laundry or cleaning the floors when we know there is a purpose to it all, doing seems to fall to the waste side. I have found building a foundation that is based on purpose for each day has been a great support in helping me stay steady when dealing with the curve balls in life.

  53. At the time, all these points about stress in our working life feel like they are coming from outside of us. They feel like pressures being imposed on us that create the tension. But really each of the pressures listed, ie. being the one who can do it all, or having unrealistic expectations of yourself, all comes from inside of us. It is this aspect of our lives that we have the power to change, how we respond to the situation.

  54. It is quite amazing how much this world rewards people reacting to life, such as a person avoiding feeling guilty by doing things out of obligation for others, or someone putting on a smile even though they feel miserable…it is completely upside down that we are often encouraged to live this way!

  55. Nicole having had IBS myself I found that I started to give up that life would be joyful or amazing but instead that I would be suffering and that was simply how it was. Being the determined type I never wanted to fully accept this so kept on seeking out a way to address / fix the pain I would feel each day. It sounds like although your hairdressing experience was different there is a common thread and when I met Serge Benhayon what came to transpire is not simply a quick fix but a way of living life that is truly supportive and one where as a result my condition faded away

  56. We spend so much time at work that self-care is imperative, and yet for most of us as you say, even simple care such as going to the toilet when we need to is overridden. Self-care at work changes your life dramatically and it can be as simple as a daily honouring of the body.

  57. Nicole what you share is the foundation of change. It starts with the smallest of awareness that then opens up doors that have been closed for many lives.

  58. Without that foundational level of self-care you write about Nicole it can be so easy to get swallowed up in a downward spiral when intensity hits. Having those building blocks in place gives a level of something to come back to when needed.

    1. Self care = foundational building blocks of our self worth, and our relationship with ourselves and all others. Trying to bypass or find short cuts so as not do to the work of looking after ourselves just means that we don’t have that rock solid support and foundation of knowing and enjoying who we truly are, when we most need to feel it.

  59. This is a great reminder, Nicole. Sometimes it feels like there’s no way to make a change because of the circumstances and there’s no way out, but what we CAN change – the quality in and with which we live is what brings the greatest impact to our life.

  60. We don’t know what is actually possible in life until we open up to the potential of there being more than our current ‘normal’.

  61. It’s true – there’s a way we think we need to work, based on what we directly learn from others at work, our own observations and a whole bunch of expectations and ideals around how we think our work should be undertaken. Taking our power back at work rather than being a victim to it is a very empowering thing to do, as Nicole’s story illustrates.

    1. Taking control of and responsibility for one area of our lives then naturally ripples out to all other areas.

  62. ‘Having developed a quality and foundation of self-care which is always deepening, I now have a foundation for me that enables me to be me, no matter where I am or what I am doing.’ A beautiful celebration of the power of self care.

  63. A great blog Nicole and something all hairdressers would benefit from reading as I know one, and the pressure in that job is pretty intense! Not only is there an expectation to look a certain way at work, there is pressure to maintain clients, sell products and keep up with the trends etc.. when did simple old hair cutting and self expression become so competitive?

  64. How very beautiful Nicole; developing a quality and foundation for self care indicates a wonderful commitment and appreciation for yourself. I was inspired by what you have presented in this blog, thank you.

  65. Awesome appreciation of your transformation Nicole. Embracing self-care and self-love can change our lives from exhaustion and discomfort to a natural vitality and joy in our lives. You have shown us how this can be done and how important, supportive and amazing it is to make these loving choices consistently.

    1. It’s amazing how quickly self love and self care have an effect on our energy levels, vitality and commitment to life. I was initially pretty skeptical about the power of it- I felt like I was making self loving choices but they weren’t doing anything. But actually, I was really doing these from my head- making a few token changes here but not changing the energy that I was doing anything in – basically trying to make it look good on the surface. It’s only when we commit to self care because we actually want to take care of ourselves, because it feels good and we feel more of who we are, that it makes a difference and things start to shift.

      1. Yes Bryony, that’s the key point to feel the changes we need in our life: ‘It’s only when we commit to self care because we actually want to take care of ourselves, because it feels good and we feel more of who we are, that it makes a difference and things start to shift’.

  66. This is beautiful Nicole and the transformation you have gone through reads like a true miracle – I have known you for many years and have been witness to the gorgeous changes you have made to your life that are very inspiring for all.

  67. Awesome Nicole. What we sometimes don’t realise is that when have had stressful or hurtful experiences, we begin to carry them and it affects the way we walk, and move even around our homes , which means that we don’t live in true flow or harmony/healing. This is why we seek pleasure in other ways like stimulation, food and pursuits etc.

  68. ‘the quality of my life at home and work have become one’ This is great Nicole – we cannot live in parts…it doesn’t make sense.

    1. Yes Jenny – Why live in parts when we are with ourselves the whole time? When we live in parts we are putting far more value on the external world at the expense of our inner world.

  69. Amazing turnaround from fibromyalgia to being painfree and working more than ever – in a supportive rhythm and with joy.

  70. When we realise that overwhelm is a choice – we can choose to move differently. I know for myself that I am more than capable of the work and life that is ahead of me – it’s just a matter of embracing and not wasting a single moment.

  71. “Having developed a quality and foundation of self-care which is always deepening, I now have a foundation for me that enables me to be me, no matter where I am or what I am doing.” Self-care is so important. It should be taught in all schools and institutions that prepare young people for life. Without self-care we see burn-out amongst doctors, nurses, teachers etc. Yet so many still view self-care as being selfish – putting yourself first. But why wouldn’t we? How can we truly support others if we are not truly supporting ourselves? It would be like jumping into a quagmire and trying to rescue another (with the risks that may ensue), rather than throwing them a lifeline from the safety of the shore.

  72. ‘It was here that I began to ask for help, to admit when I did not know something and to accept that there may be days where not everything I wanted to do would be completed.’ These are huge life changing things. I know asking for help, giving myself permission to not have to know it all, and being ok with not completing a to-do list have changed my life and the relationship I have with myself.

  73. ‘I can choose to move forward from the stillness within myself’. Recognising that this is a choice has been crucial to transforming the way I am in life, both at work and at home, and allowed me to recover from my cyclical exhaustion and feelings of overwhelm. Recently I have been feeling a deeper level of stillness and how this supports me through my day and it is great to reflect on this and appreciate just how much my life has changed since first attending a presentation by Serge Benhayon.

  74. For me letting go of my unattainable expectations of myself has removed so much potential stress from my life and then gradually introducing a deep level of self-care has supported me to work in a much more sustainable way that allows me to support others rather than imposing my overwhelm and underlying frustration on them.

  75. Self care is a movement and expression of love unto itself. What unfolds and develops from the movements to care for oneself offers us so much in terms of our behaviours, why we do things and how we can then move in a way that supports us and doesn’t put tension on our bodies. There is always more to learn and explore when we consistently choose more and more love.

  76. What a great awareness to have, once you understand this you can then make new loving choices, ‘This led to becoming aware of choices that I had made and I was now able to feel why it was that I had got to this point in the first place.’

  77. “I am allowing myself to do what is needed when it is needed” Just doing something when it is needed and not before it is needed is a great way to not get exhausted. I often find myself worrying about the future, so in other words I am already doing it but it is not needed yet and this creates a lot of tension and exhaustion.

    1. Great observation Lieke. I too have been realising where I can tire myself out by trying to control things and by allowing things to unfold and letting other people make their own mistakes, and not expecting anything of ourselves either, we free ourselves from unnecessary complication.

  78. It is all one life … technically we know this.. but do we understand what that means, and energetically do we live it? When we bring clarity, love, care, detail and beauty to all aspects of everything we do, equally, our whole life becomes seamless. And, yes, I still have my L plates on in that regard – but I can also feel the enormity of when I do bring it , and the quality of those perfectly imperfect, seamless days.

  79. It’s amazing how much harder we can make things by the pressures and expectations that we put on ourself or others – it’s like we’re loading up an activity to be so much more draining than it needs to be, adding in complication and unnecessary strife…

  80. Expectations can really drain us, how wonderful that you called these and chose to let them go, and instead started to love and care for yourself, ‘It is through making the commitment to love and care for myself, and allowing myself to feel the hurts of the past that I had buried, that have led me to live the life I have now;’

  81. Very inspiring, and how you are bringing so much more through for humanity now, ‘I can choose to move forward from the stillness within myself – the stillness that I reconnected to by healing my hurts and letting go of the expectations I had of how I should live my life.’

  82. When we concentrate on improving the quality of how we are at work, it can’t but carry over into our home lives and our community activities – in all the roles we play, wherever we play them. We live One Life and we take whatever quality we’ve just been in, into our next moment, our next role. So it’s worth investing in a relationship with our quality – nurturing it, planning ways to maintain it – as it’s an essential expression of ourselves in life and impacts all we think, feel and do.

  83. Having to do it all often puts us in the ‘saviour’ role. The person that will always get things done but at what costs. When we make life about responsibility and speaking up when this is not taking place it may not make others feel comfortable but it is expressing that together we can make life more harmonious than on our own.

  84. Our movements establish a quality band that gets to be familiar to us and that ends up feeding our movements. Given that it is us who eventually walk ourselves to ill-being, it is very difficult to walk ourselves out of it unless we deeply change our movements.

  85. Who wouldn’t want a hairdresser that lives this quality? What a fantastic sharing Nicole – a recipe for success in any industry.

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