613 thoughts on “Relating to Women as a Man”

1. Floris, what an honour to read this from the men that are out there, that have then taken on a persona of how men are portrayed out in this world, hard and hard.

   I totally agree with this statement, “however, what I’m craving most is to be met, loved and cared for”. I feel this is a message for every human that walks this planet, we are all wanting to be met. It matters not that the body has breasts or testicles, we are just needing to be met from that place that we have once come from, and that is God’s children. It is that simple.

2. “Or do I want to contribute to how warm, loving, intimate, equal, unfolding, joyful and loving the relationship between women and men can be ” An beautiful invitation for women to live their preciousness and sacredness and for men to live their gentle tenderness.

   1. I agree Mary, every one of us have these qualities within us. Being a sensitive man does not mean you are weak, I see a strength of power equally in all. It is so beautiful to feel what part this was written by, and that is the Soul. The Soul only loves us for what we are…

3. A beautiful transparent and vulnerable sharing of yourself Floris, ‘I still feel quite vulnerable and I am, at times, confronted with a lot of distrust within myself, but I’m much more able to discern what is true love and appreciation from what is not, and with that I’m learning to let true love and appreciation in, surrendering and deepening the acceptance that I am indeed a precious and loving being myself.’

4. I can so relate to what you have shared so honestly with us all Floris
   ‘I’ve been playing the game of independence all my life (or at least as long as I can remember) – the game of protecting my individuality and telling the world to “leave me alone.” However, what I’m craving most is to be met, loved and cared for. It’s so wondrous that the more I care for and love myself, the more I’m able to drop my self-protective stance and let women (and men) in. ‘
   I know I learnt to be independent from very young, being sick at night going down stairs and knocking on my parents door crying because I felt so ill and not getting a response. Having done this a few times with no response and being told not to bother them during the night, I came to the understanding I was on my own, many incidents drove this home to me so I isolated myself and looked after myself as best I could.
   Since meeting Serge Benhayon and the entire family I am slowly coming out of my self imposed exile because as you say so honestly what we are actually craving is to be met, loved and appreciated for all the joy and beauty we have within us which is just waiting to be reconnected to.

   1. A beautiful and honest sharing from someone who too learnt to be very independent, and is equally choosing to come out of their ‘self imposed exile’.

5. I love all your realisations, particularly this one ‘By not sharing what I’ve learned, I shy away from responsibility.’

6. Reading how we can open up by simply exploring how our relationships work and simply sharing and that this exposes a lot of ways we can heal our issues that come up especially around sex as you have shared Floris, is evolutionary-magic.

7. ‘If I don’t share what I’ve learned, I’m telling myself that Love isn’t important.’ So true, or people for that matter.

8. Thank you Floris, it’s very beautiful to read views of a man opening back up to his own love and sensitivity. Reading your blog I also was able to appreciate myself more for what I bring to men in my life, and the way I meet and appreciate them for who they are, and share all of me as a delicate and sweet woman.

   1. It is beautiful to read and feel a man opening op to his love, sensitivity and tenderness.

9. Choosing honesty and making the choice to stay connected to our body as much as possible, is certainly part of a wonderfully healing prescription for life, especially when it comes to the relationships in our lives, whether it be with men or women. Without honesty and self-connection we are in danger of perpetuating the separation we live in, not only with others, but with ourselves

   1. I have come to understand that we separate from ourselves first and in that separation we are in separation to all others.

10. This is such an honouring blog to come back and read again, Floris. Your understanding of where you have been as a man and how in general most men have been is deeply honest. Sharing your new perspective is deeply refreshing and healing.

    1. I agree Rachel, I feel the same. It reminded me of the experiences listening to women when I was a child, that “men can’t change”, but they indeed can if they choose to and have the support. Floris is a very beautiful example of letting go of what’s imposed onto men, beliefs etc, and returning to being the natural and loving man within.

11. To feel the preciousness and fragility in another we also need to be able to feel it in ourselves, and to do this we have to start letting go of our hurts and protection to allow our own vulnerability to come through. It is for us all to learn, to open up to each other and as you say ‘the results are amazing’ and well worth exploring.

    1. True, it is important to let go of our hurts and protection, and allow ourselves to be vulnerable, ‘To feel the preciousness and fragility in another we also need to be able to feel it in ourselves, and to do this we have to start letting go of our hurts and protection to allow our own vulnerability to come through.’

12. This is a beautiful sharing Floris, learning to drop my protection and to be open to others has been key to deepening not only my relationships with others but especially myself.

    1. Developing true relationships and at least being able to live these in decency and respect for others is supper important.

13. It is great to realise that we are not our behaviours when we are becoming more aware of what we are choosing. Because otherwise it becomes very easy to get hard on ourselves and disgusted from ourselves and this does not help in the process of letting go of these behaviours.

14. As a woman, to allow yourself to be adored by another, you must first be capable of adoring yourself! And this can be a challenge if you have not done this most of your life!

15. Letting love in and letting love out in full is a blessing for each and every one of us, and this is what relationships are really about.

16. “We, as men, adore women – we’ve simply forgotten how to be with that fragility.” Yes I feel this is true but then women have forgotten this too. We have learnt to toughen up like the men and in the process given up on the one thing that could support men to honour their own fragility.

17. “Why is it so hard to admit to ourselves, and each other, how much we care for and love each other?” We often hold back scared we will get hurt, yet nothing hurts us more then holding back the love that is naturally there to share.

18. “Or do I want to contribute to how warm, loving, intimate, equal, unfolding, joyful and loving the relationship between women and men can be – without any sexual hooks?” – yes and there’s always such freeness and harmlessness when there is no hook with which to (metaphorically speaking) catch any bait.

19. “Why is it so hard to admit to ourselves, and each other, how much we care for and love each other?” Because to do that we first have to love ourselves and to do that we have to address our unresolved hurts, come to terms with all the unloving acts we have down and yet still love ourselves. For many the journey seems too daunting and painful.

20. ” It’s so wondrous that the more I care for and love myself, the more I’m able to drop my self-protective stance and let women (and men) in”. Self-love is the doorway to the love of others.

21. When we get past the fact that someone is a man or a woman we realise that we are all just people. This ought to be our starting point whenever we talk about gender.

    1. Beautifully said Elizabeth – and so it is true that we are all the same deep inside, and yet our experiences as a man or woman in this life can certainly cloud that reality up. And at the same time, how beautiful of each of us to reflect those divine qualities that we are here to reflect.

22. “We, as men, adore women – we’ve simply forgotten how to be with that fragility.” My experience of men confirms this statement. The more a man surrenders to his fragility the more his love and cherishing of women comes out.

23. How beautiful that your friends welcomed you back with no judgment a true confirmation that brotherhood is our natural way of being, and when we express with love we deepen those friendships too.

24. A beautiful reminder to appreciate each other in all our fragility and strength.

    1. Appreciate each other as we all love one another in truth, ‘Why is it so hard to admit to ourselves, and each other, how much we care for and love each other?’

25. To drop our protection around people can seem like the scariest thing on the planet, but once we begin the path and the weight starts to fall off we can see that nothing in this world feels better than to walk with an open heart.

26. This is such an honouring and reflective blog for women and men. You bring so much in the writing of it Floris that I am deeply touched.

27. This is very beautiful to read. I love asking myself the question, ‘Why is it so hard to admit to ourselves, and each other, how much we care for and love each other?’ because the answer reveals I have a choice to embrace my fragility and be open with the world. It’s so much easier than remembering to keep up all the walls of protection around me in a bid to ‘independent’ – or rather shut down and closed off. The more I love myself and venture to get to know who I am, the more I’m sharing who I am with others.

    1. And also to admit how much we adore being honoured, and loved, ‘I actually would love to be honoured and loved in the most honouring and loving way possible.’

28. Why is it so hard to admit to ourselves, and each other, how much we care for and love each other? The pride of the individual who thinks he can do it all on his own and doesn’t want to loose this not seeing the wonder of unity and how we are all one.

    1. We can so easily send out false messages to what is really the truth, trying to protect ourselves, whereas ‘what I’m craving most is to be met, loved and cared for. ‘

29. Its interesting – I’m reminded of how I can treat my friends at times… taking them for granted, making jokes about them, just being a bit relaxed and verging on disrespectful. Yet when I take a moment to appreciate them, to honour their qualities, to remind myself of everything they are and represent… wow. It all changes and the flippancy is replaced by the deep love and respect I have for them, and my whole being changes in that relationship.

    1. A very poignant point in that if we are being jokey or flippant with friends we are in some ways dismissing them for who they truly are … could it be that first we are dismissing us in who we truly are therefore do that to another as well so easily. Of course this doesn’t mean that we cannot have a laugh or joke with a friend but it brings more awareness, honesty and truth to why we may do something.

30. I love your second realization, Floris: ‘We, as men, adore women – we’ve simply forgotten how to be with that fragility.’ And I would add to that: we as women have difficulty accepting the empowerment of adoring men.

31. “Why is it so hard to admit to ourselves, and each other, how much we care for and love each other?” – I really get that, and I know how we say to ourselves we don’t care therefore projecting the same and try convincing ourselves that others don’t care either, and justify our decision not to commit to a relationship, not to honour, not to offer decency and respect – all in fear of getting hurt again.

    1. That question stood out for me too, Fumiyo and today at a wedding ceremony it was actually the theme of the speech: how much we all do care and love each other and not only the bride and groom or other couples but all of us, all human beings.

32. Your eight realisations are so beautiful to read and as a woman I thank you for bringing this deep awareness to a world that so desperately needs the loving balance between men and women to be restored. Yes, every single one of us, both men and women, would “love to be honoured and loved in the most honouring and loving way possible” and that honouring needs to begin with us, honouring the amazing and very lovable beings that we each of us is.

33. What stood out to me very clearly was you mention of how not sharing what you have learnt is saying that love is not important. This is exactly what we do when we hold back and we can all agree that it is a lie to say that love is not important as it is very clearly needed in our world today.

34. Of course we as Men adore Women… when they exude their sacredness we are hard wired to respond to that with an equal dose of strength and vulnerability. But is that the way we treat women, or allow ourselves to be inspired by them – its such a missed opportunity, and only by the ones who appreciate that speaking up will we start to turn the tide.

35. Coming back to an old point of expression offers a great reflection of where are we now and opens the way to appreciate how far have we go.

36. Admitting, accepting, enjoying and embracing the fact that we all yearn to love and be loved invites me to consider what I can do about this. And my answer seems to be very simple – something to practise in every moment – whatever is happening around me, being said and felt, if I stay open to the enormous love that is our natural and is absolutely infinite then I begin to break through the stereotypes and learned behaviour that has me in resistance.

37. Men having the permission to see women as glorious, as wonderful and as a partner in the sense of someone who is with you through thick and thin, who has your back, and who walks beside you is perhaps one of life’s greatest supports.

    1. That a woman walks beside us, equal but bringing a different quality… and so relationships have the potential to develop so much more in us if we allow them in, than going it alone.

38. My sense is that as we live a deeper relationship with ourselves and as, therefore, our benchmark for decency deepens, so to do we notice more in what we have said, allowed and been part of. The sense of responsibility is therefore also deeper and it is easier to speak up when something does not feel right.

    1. Yes it is this deeper relationship with ourselves that allows us to be honest about our own contribution to the whole, to see through the illusion we have been and at times are still part of and no longer let things pass that don’t feel true to us.

       1. It also means there is less shaming and blaming and more taking responsibility for our part in the whole.

39. “It’s so wondrous that the more I care for and love myself, the more I’m able to drop my self-protective stance and let women (and men) in” – beautifully written Floris. If we hold protection, we cannot hold love because it can’t enter for the block that is in the way. Loosing the bolder of protection, is to open, create space to love.

40. As a woman it is humbling to read this post Floris and see how deeply you now appreciate women in their true expression. Men and women are equal, we just express differently – and when we each appreciate that the true qualities of who we are can thrive.

41. It is only the ideals and beliefs that we choose that say there is a difference between each other and genders. This is very sad to feel when the essence of all is the same.

42. The false ideas we have about who we are get in the way of us connecting. When we let beliefs about them and us in – we’re lost at sea.

    1. Lost to ourselves and therefore lost, yes.

43. We exist in a sad distortion where we see our interactions with women through a sexual lense, and compete till our last breath with men. Stop doing this and we might find that we’re all so much grander than we think.

    1. What a waste Joseph, and begs the question of how did that lens get so distorted. What is the world we live in when view is what we emerge with after our upbringing, our education and our fit with society.

44. Floris, it’s truly beautiful to feel your sensitivity and delicateness come through your writing and to feel your openness to embrace this more deeply, as a man in your expression.

45. You give us a beautiful marker of what it is to be tender and loving and deeply caring, Floris. Just reading your words all of these qualities can be felt profoundly.

46. “Why is it so hard to admit to ourselves, and each other, how much we care for and love each other”? This is a great question. I can say for myself when I feel how much love I have for people, the gap between what I feel and what happens on a daily basis is vast. So, I tone down how much I feel, even switch it off to function in the world. I know this is a convenient false safety that this is not the way to be and offers no point of difference for anyone else. I have so many role models who are open and loving and motivated each day by the gap between humanity’s potential and current state.

47. When a man allows himself to receive the delicateness and preciousness of a woman he is at the same time allowing those qualities within himself to be ignited.

48. The connection, and the communication, that is possible when we open up in this way is extremely sweet tender delicate and beautiful

49. Reading your blog Floris I am reminded of the absolute beauty that is within us all.

    1. When this beauty is shared there is not agenda or gender in the equation.

50. Reading this touched me deeply. It connected to me to a truth that you write of, is how we are meant to live. We are divinely designed to be open, transparent, and loving with each other. And when we don’t live that way, it cripples us, in ways bigger than we will ever know.

    1. The more we are willing to be honest and not hold back the quality we live we are give another the permission to feel the safety from within.

51. I love what you are sharing here Floris, and I particularly like how you say “We, as men, adore women – we’ve simply forgotten how to be with that fragility.” This is so beautiful and simple and not at all complicated, realising that alone is the fast lane back to ones tenderness and warmth as it is then just a matter of dropping the many layers that cover this exquisiteness and true nature of ourselves.

    1. I agree Esther. This statement immediately drops any falseness or pretences, and allows men and women to appreciate our gorgeous qualities.

52. The way men are educated by society to view, approach and look at women is far from their natural expression and for a man to come to a point where he is connected enough to himself to admit that the way this has been is not true and to then express the tender, caring and sensitivity he holds within is what the true strength and bravery of a man is about.

53. The game of independence is merely another form of the deceptive game of individuality that keeps us not only separated from each other, but from living the potential true collaboration we are all capable of together.

    1. Absolutely, the game of independence is simply another way of being an individual, and living in that falsity.

54. I just felt a deep sense of appreciation from what you shared. You showed that connection is so much what we yearn for as humans and that when we meet each other in that space a whole other awareness opens up.

55. A beautiful expression of the tenderness of a man appreciating the preciousness of women.

56. This article is a gift for when we are willing to explore true gender equality.

57. This is deeply beautiful Floris van der Schot. Its like a parable. It presents how you should express the love between men and women and hence denote why it is not always there. You could write this into something for all removing the personal so to speak so it could be a foundation of the adoration we naturally have for whatever partner male or female we prefer. Very touching .. thank you Floris I feel like reading it again.

58. When a man honours his own sensitivity and then meets a woman in this and is able to adore and honour her, it is a very beautiful experience. I deeply love when men treat me in this way- it confirms all I am and all they are too.

59. “I’m learning to let true love and appreciation in, surrendering and deepening the acceptance that I am indeed a precious and loving being myself.” it all starts with us developing a deep love for ourselves realising that we are worth loving, we are love, and sharing our love with all others, knowing that they too are love in their innermost being. thank you Floris for a beautiful sharing.

60. “I’ve been playing the game of independence all my life (or at least as long as I can remember) – the game of protecting my individuality and telling the world to “leave me alone.” How common is this?! Yet we are quick to complain about others and their behaviour towards us. The kindness of turning our attention inward to be honest about how we feel about ourselves first and foremost is so powerful. We run away from fragility yet, in truth, we should run towards it because that is closer to the essence of who we are and work so hard to cover up.

61. I am absolute loving developing more , intimate, equal, unfolding and joyful loving the relationship between the opposite sex – with no sexual energy involved. I feel this evolution has come about from getting to know myself and therefore being able to be open and to truly trust another.

62. “By being silent, I’m allowing the inequality between men and women in everyday society and making my life about me, not about all of us and everything around us.” – This was a stand-out claim to read for me, Floris, and inspiring as well, because I can now feel how there are many times when I have come to a greater understanding or awareness of something in my life, but tend to hold it to myself sometimes out of either fear of it not being accepted or even worse, that I will be rejected or criticised for sharing it if it challenges people too much.

    1. michaelgoodhart36 I feel you have tapped into the human psyche when you said
       ‘I have come to a greater understanding or awareness of something in my life, but tend to hold it to myself sometimes out of either fear of it not being accepted or even worse, that I will be rejected or criticised for sharing it if it challenges people too much.’
       Don’t we call this the playing ‘nice’ card where we have been taught that society expects us to play the nice game and to override what ever feelings we have to the contrary. It feels to me as though we are adding a layer of slime over society as a way of keeping us all in check and keeping us down.

63. Beautiful Floris, and yes a question worth pondering, ‘Why is it so hard to admit to ourselves, and each other, how much we care for and love each other? ‘ Honouring and appreciation is natural for us.

    1. Because generally people are very uncomfortable showing any kind of emotion. Most of us operate on a very superficial level most of the time, it’s as if we’re scared to feel but the tension that this way of living is exorbitant and prevents us from accessing the true riches of this world. Allowing ourselves to feel and express is actually a blessed relief, as well as being our natural way.

    2. The protection we carry from being hurt makes admitting we care for another a point of danger hence to unwillingness to do so. Yet the freedom from letting down that guard is incredibly healing.

       1. Agree, the protection we carry is what actually hurts us the most, though when we do let down our guard we have the opportunity to be met with all the love we were keeping at bay.

       2. and how lovely does that feel?! you feel a bit silly when you realise all you have kept away from yourself.

64. Beautiful blog Floris, thank you. You make many great points; this one “We, as men, adore women – we’ve simply forgotten how to be with that fragility.” made me think how a lot of us as women also don’t accept our own fragility! But the more that we do we inspire one another to remember to be true to who we are, both men and women, and not ignore our innate sensitivity.

    1. Yes our sensitivity allows us to ‘see’ and feel everything in life. Words such as fragility and sensitivity are often misinterpreted to be signs of weakness whereas in truth they are strengths.

       1. sensitivity and vulnerability are definitely strengths as they support us to deal with all that comes before us in ways our minds could not think of. And so they do not weaken us but support us in being all of who we are in life.

       2. Yes I agree, our body’s register everything we feel and when we truly listen and not override what is felt we have the opportunity to bring a greater understanding to our selves and others in life.

    2. Thank you Fiona and Victoria for the beautiful reminder about the strength and transformative nature of fragility.

    3. Indeed we as women need to develop and honour our fragility and then perhaps men will do the same.

65. We have to be careful with words but also open to understanding that people say things out of reaction that may not always mirror what they mean on the inside. You’ve given a great example Floris; saying to the world ‘leave me alone’ when we really crave to be appreciated, part of things and met.

66. I was very touched reading this. I especially feel the responsibility we have to behave in a way that will support young girls and boys to grow up with healthy, respectful relationships with themselves and the opposite sex. Things seem to be getting so bad for our kids and the future of our relationships looks gloomy unless we really start to be fragile vulnerable and willing to have the kind of relationships described in this blog.

67. “Why is it so hard to admit to ourselves, and each other, how much we care for and love each other?”For many of us our biggest problem is letting in the love that is already there.

68. Ok, I’m officially melted! What a beautiful sharing of letting go of beliefs and protections to simply express love and allow in anothers love. I particularly appreciated this line Floris “Or do I want to contribute to how warm, loving, intimate, equal, unfolding, joyful and loving the relationship between women and men can be – without any sexual hooks?” This is a great question for men and women as we can approach relationships with the opposite gender in such limited ways, instead of allowing what’s there to naturally unfold and the joy and healing that we can experience together. For me I can feel it’s about letting go of any beliefs or pictures and to just connect person to person without anything imposing on that natural connection.

69. It is part of the hard core men’s club rules of thumb: when talk about women you have to treat them as objects of desire and source of relief. Yet, when you start truly appreciating women, life becomes uncomfortable in the club. Tension rises. The reason for that is because it exposes the poor quality of true relation men have with women. At the same time, there is a distant knowing all men have of the preciousness of women and our own. When someone (e.g., a man) talks about someone else (e.g., a woman) holding its own preciousness, suddenly forbidden, beautiful, conversations become possible and desirable.

70. I agree Floris, all that any one of us wants is to be loved and cherished and so we ought to be as we come from love.

71. It took me a while to accept the truth that relationships are first about our relationship with energy and not with people. But it takes care of everything–our relationship with man and with everything else, if we first honor the relationship with light.

72. Deepening your own levels of love and self care have a knock on effect as you found out, ‘By letting in women and their many different expressions of love, and by expressing my own love and affection, I have felt more honouring and appreciation than I have ever felt in my life before.’

73. Absolutely, we all want to be loved, after all we are love, so it is only natural, ‘ what I’m craving most is to be met, loved and cared for.’

74. “It’s so wondrous that the more I care for and love myself, the more I’m able to drop my self-protective stance and let women (and men) in.” Beautifully expressed Floris as this is not only a key for men but for women and children too, as this provides the framework for which we move, express and ultimately live a loving life. Thank you.

75. ‘We, as men, adore women – we’ve simply forgotten how to be with that fragility.’ Simply beautiful! is it possible that men have forgotten to be with that fragility because equally, women have also forgotten and haven’t reflected this back as our natural way of being?

76. Love it Floris. It takes a lot of love and care to share in situations where many people think in a different way about something to share and speak up how we feel about it. The key is to live it ourselves in such a way that sharing it does not feel uncomfortable but natural and does not have to be preached but shared.

77. Thank you for writing this Floris, it is very healing for both men and women to feel and allow ourselves to express our natural tenderness, delicateness and love for one another.

78. “By letting in women and their many different expressions of love, and by expressing my own love and affection, I have felt more honouring and appreciation than I have ever felt in my life before.” beautifully expressed Floris. It is felt.

79. It is so important to appreciate the care and love that people do actually share, as it is this that reminds us that we are here to live and work in harmony together.

80. “By letting in women and their many different expressions of love, and by expressing my own love and affection, I have felt more honouring and appreciation than I have ever felt in my life before” – so gorgeous Floris, and I agree too it’s complete joy when both sexes express not the ideal based on gender, but instead the love they truly are.

    1. What a gorgeous line Zofia, thank you “it’s complete joy when both sexes express not the ideal based on gender, but instead the love they truly are.” So simple without all the complications of beliefs and ideals – just love.

81. Expressing the truth is always important, otherwise we could be just condoning what is not love, ‘By being silent, I’m allowing the inequality between men and women in everyday society and making my life about me, not about all of us and everything around us.’

82. “We, as men, adore women – we’ve simply forgotten how to be with that fragility” – completely Floris, and as a woman, i know that as women we’ve aided and abetted this ‘forgotten-ness’ too because we also don’t know how to be this [fragility] quality with ourselves either. Fragility in either a man or woman is the adoration of both genders.

83. I work in a sexual health and wellbeing service for young people and I can tell you that this is not only happening ‘Do I want the next generation of men to check out, harden, harass and bully just as much (or more) than I did?’ but it is getting far more disrespectful and abusive towards girls. From young women I have spoken with they are getting text messages from boys they don’t even know to say do you want to meet up and have sex in the park, asked for oral sex constantly and told to wear short skirts at parties for ‘easy access’. The list goes on and on. What I feel would be great is for more men like yourself to have conversations with the next and younger generations about relationships giving them something else to work with and relate to others that what is currently out there which is not great.

    1. Wow, what is going on? That is horrifying, I agree men like Floris are needed to be very public and visible to these generations of boys and men that desperately need a true relationship with themselves and also the girls and women in their life.

84. It is beautiful to feel your expression and honesty in your sharing, we are all on the journey of exploring our fragility and sensitivity. Men and women are no different we all feel this.

    1. Yes and when we all disarm and let the guards of protection down, there is love that remains true and steady.

85. What you write Floris could so easily have been written by a woman. We have all become very good at protecting ourselves from being open and deeply honest about our feelings with other people, and especially the opposite sex. There has been a fear of rejection or being hurt in some way. It is so beautiful when we risk to express our real feelings, taking responsibility for who we are in full.

86. “By not sharing what I’ve learned, I shy away from responsibility.” When we connect to our bodies and express from the wisdom it shares we begin to uncover a deeper awareness of the world and a much more honest outlook on the whole. It is here we feel what is truly going on and how our expression and sharing from this truth will deepen our relationship with self and bring great responsibility to the all. This is so very important today as it could redefine what it means to be in relationships and how we in turn confirm all by our bodies own movements and expressions.

87. Thank you for an honest sharing Floris, and for showing us all that embracing our fragility and sensitivity within is not a curse but a blessing to be shared in our path of evolution.

88. The responsibility that a man takes to deepen his love is a reflection for women to deepen ours as well. Women have the responsibility to live the truth of equality between genders, that we are not less than men nor more. Love is love, and it is equal with all.

89. Great question Floris, – ‘Why is it so hard to admit to ourselves, and each other, how much we care for and love each other?’ I think you’ve nailed it here, and the barriers that seemingly exist between men and women are false.

90. How wonderful it is to express our truth, as a woman, man and youth and for many of us, this is healing lifetimes of holding back, suppression of our true expression and no longer allowing all that is false in the world to prosper.

91. Letting each other in, not guarding from or rebuffing each other, is the foundation of true relationship. Knowing our strength cannot be diminished by another’s choices/actions means we can approach every situation and interaction without fear or compromise. This is huge and very inspiring. Thank you, Floris.

92. These pointers are so powerful and how amazing it would be to share this with our younger generations so that what boys/men are truly feeling about women is honoured from the start.

93. When I am open to learning from others and listening to my body I am always touched by the naturalness of our connection to one another.

    1. Matilda you are true to say we have to be open to learning from others and listening to our bodies. When we follow this we can feel the natural connection with others.

94. What an awesome reflection you were for your friends, bringing to them everything they too would have wanted, as naturally we all simply want to be met for who we are.

95. There’s no effort or resistance in a true encounter between man and woman, just an allowing what it is, and a surrender to what we are

96. ‘We, as men, adore women – we’ve simply forgotten how to be with that fragility.’ Again this line touches me deeply, I guess I have never allowed anyone to adore me. Only since recently I feel I am more open to receive adoration and to feel what it does in my body, it asks me to accept myself on a deeper level for the preciousness and sacredness that I am.

97. Your sensitivity and fragility is so evident in your writing Floris, thank you for your honesty, which is very lovely to be in the presence of.

98. “However, what I’m craving most is to be met, loved and cared for.”. . . .this is what we are all craving for most of all it is only our fear of being hurt that causes the divide.

99. Wow Floris this is an amazingly honest blog. Some of the points you share could be placed in parts of our life where a truth was honored. Great sharing.

100. It’s sad the barriers and obstacles that we have let in, with relationships between women and men. There are so many unspoken societal rules that keep us apart. The heavy influence of sex or romance is so toxic, it seems to me. ‘What if we spend time together or express Love? Won’t people get ideas and talk?’. These fears leave us trapped in a cage of distant politeness. What a revalation then to understand as you have Floris that we are here to hold and treasure everyone we know with the same depth of care and intimacy. To hold this back is the beginning of all the abuse that we know.

101. “We, as men, adore women – we’ve simply forgotten how to be with that fragility.” And in its place we have chosen to Harden up and be the rough tough guys – the polar opposite.

     1. Totally Michael, I so loved this line Floris shared. It’s so true for many of our relationships.

     2. So true Micheal its just that we have got caught in what society portrays as being normal for men, which is being tough and hard.

102. It is beautiful to read about the way your relationships with both women and men have deepened and grown Floris.

103. It would have been wrong to not have shared this Floris – like a star not shining in the night sky! This is a reflection that can build more understanding and inspire each other to love and be loved without need for comparison.

104. What I love about what you’re saying Floris is that everything we do and how we choose to be and treat other people contributes to the world being the way it is. It’s really super simple maths – if you want to live in a world where both you and everyone are respected and treated with decency and kindness then all you need to do is begin to treat everyone with decency and respect. We are the ones who determine the kind of world we’ll live in.

105. it is interesting Floris when we come to the point where we question ourselves if we want to add to the waywardness of life or not and what then our choice will be. Are we then able to make the choice to do it differently from then on or are we to much involved and have invested in the way it is. With other words does it still give us a form of reward, something we are still enjoying.

106. What a gorgeous sharing – reading this I can see how we dismiss the potential of deep relationships between men and women without it being sexual. How we have almost avoided opening up with each other because we think we have stuff to deal with first. But really – we all want the same thing – an openness and transparency and intimacy.

     1. I felt the same thing HM. We were not designed to lear at each other or disrespect each other. These behaviours are taken for granted as normal when they are anything but.

107. Imagine a secret garden full of the most delicate beautiful flowers. Imagine a secure space full of exotic natural delights. This sort of hidden area, walled and secure, kept away from others prying eyes is much like men’s tenderness in this life. Many of us don’t even know this oasis in us exists. But for those like you Floris who are bold enough to go there and even open the gate and invite others in, the beauty and sweetness that is there to be shared is one of the great wonders of this world. The more men open up this part to be seen the richer we all will be.

108. To me, the sexes are in reaction to each other and just coping with the functionality of being in the world together. Why the reaction? Because women are not treasuring themselves or expressing their inner wisdom and worth; and the men are not embracing their deep sensitivity and tenderness. So we end up with a functional by product that devastates the opposite sex.

109. How wonderful to read Floris from a man’s perspective how you now talk with you friends about women and life. Such a difference to the norm, or how you used to in the past. It is where the degradation of women starts, when men are sitting around and speaking in a demeaning way about women, men thinking that it is normal, when it is not. Then that perception is carried out into other behaviours because it becomes normalised, again, when it is not.

110. The preciousness in which you hold your relationships with women in and why you share this with others is beautiful.

111. This is such a great question –”Why is it so hard to admit to ourselves, and each other, how much we care for and love each other?”. The answer to that is that we get hurt early in life and then we put up a huge wall of protection so that we do not get hurt again so what is needed then is to deal with our hurts and let carry them around.

112. ‘If I could be a little more calm, if I could be a little bit more polished, if I could come accross in a nicer way’ – these seem to be our highest dreams when it comes to relationships or friendships of any kind. But what if we are missing out? What if there’s another paradigm in which we could live? What if we made all our interactions about expressing and sharing our Love? Wow – that is so far from tweaking what we have today and offers us the chance to live in a truly connected way. Thank you gorgeous Floris for this reflection.

113. Honour, Love and appreciation need not be reserved for occasion or for one gender or another – we are all equal and our natural expression is one of deep honour and Love.

114. What a beautiful blog. We men are so lost in what we have created to be the truth, and to then feel this enormously sensitive blog is a true relief and inspiration to live in a sensitive way allowing the adoration and tenderness in connection to be there and allow this to be the norm of living in connection with our true nature.

115. Isn’t it amazing to be able to break down the barriers and separation we often hold between us that get in the way of true connection? I am learning to recognise some that I still hold to and I am learning to deconstruct them and let them go.

116. Thank you Floris for being so honest with regards to your beliefs about women, for these are the types of conversations that will eventually change humanity.

117. Super honest and powerful blog Floris there is much that we can learn from what you have written here. “We, as men, adore women – we’ve simply forgotten how to be with that fragility.” and we women have forgotten what it is to be fragile as we compete in what is seen as a man’s world. There is much to learn on both sides, as women we need to re-connect to our fragility and sacredness and men need to be willing to see that they are sensitive, gentle tender and very loving.

118. Thank you Floris , ” surrendering and deepening the acceptance that I am indeed a precious and loving being myself ” this is the choice we all have and you living and expressing so will make it easier for all Men and all Women , the love is felt.

119. This was beautiful to read and to feel your honesty and openness Floris. This goes along way in healing the hurts between the tow genders that have kept us separate for so long. I loved what you said about how men are women, they have just forgotten how to be with the fragility. I would add to that, that this is because women themselves have forgotten this. It is up to us as women to embrace the power of our fragility, and in so doing men will also remember the exquisite fragility within themselves.

120. I feel that what you express here is true for a lot if not most men – deep down there is some judgment they hold over women, some way that they put women down or think of them as lesser. But this is not about pointing the finger or instilling guilt – the honesty is all that matters and from there it becomes a very liberating experience that supports men and women alike. And before I sign off, what about women and their attitude towards and judgment of men?

121. I’m embarrassed too Floris by the way I used to talk about men, treat men, have relationships with men, the lot. Looking back now I see I was in a huge amount of protection. Whilst I loved men, I did not in truth know how to be with them in a way that honoured both them and me. Thank God – and thank Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine – that I have learned a much different way to be with men, in all respects.

122. It is crazy that we hold back expressing our love and appreciation for others for when we don’t our relationships have an opportunity to grow and evolve supporting us to feel truly met and held by the strength and power of the grandness of love.

123. What a great realisation – “It’s so wondrous that the more I care for and love myself, the more I’m able to drop my self-protective stance and let women (and men) in.” This really does explain how we create the world we live in, that is the more we love and care for ourselves the more that love and care is given back to us.

124. The harmony and equality between men and women begin with honesty and communication. Holding back our feelings in expression creates a deep separation and rift between us, which first began within ourselves. We know there is unity between all, men, women, everyone, and this healing begins with coming back to humbleness and honesty with ourselves, this is a beautiful process.

125. Floris, I love your honesty and how you expose what is going on between men and women, this is a great question’ Why is it so hard to admit to ourselves, and each other, how much we care for and love each other?’ I have felt this with men and women, that I care for and love them, but I have shyed away from expressing this through fear of being judged, I can feel how amazing we all are and that it does not make sense to hold this love back.

126. It is great to expose how we reduce each other to how we look or what we do rather than honour each other and hold another with Love- the essence of each of us is divine and yet we so easily cast this aside for lovelessness.

127. So beautiful to read your blog Floris, your fragility shines trough, and I can whole heartedly agree with what you share.We men need to allow our tenderness and fragility to show, and know how we can truly love women, in the way only we can do, in full adoration and surrender without need but the fullest apreciation.

     1. Beautifully expressed Benkt, I love everything you’ve shared. It is absolutely gorgeous when we are open to connecting to each other and not be afraid to show our sensitivity, fragility and who we truly are.

128. ‘We, as men, adore women – we’ve simply forgotten how to be with that fragility.’ A beautiful line and I guess that also women themselves have forgotten how to be fragile. In the last few years I have allowed myself to feel the fragility in myself and to be with it and to not hide it for anyone. Work in progress I have to say but reading your honest and open sharing makes me honouring my fragility even more.

129. Letting people in being transparent and vulnerable without a need to be perfect – is nearly the exact opposite of the message we receive daily yet to have true intimacy it is what is needed to be felt in every person.

130. The group energy especially in male friendship circles can be destructive to say the least. It was a blessing for all of them to have you providing your reflection for that weekend.

131. It is true that in order to allow true love and appreciation in our lives, we must first recognise it and accept this within ourselves for we are each Love and of the same true energetic quality.

     1. Or the cycle of separation will continue to divide men and women time and time again. Bringing more and more ill ease and dis-ease.

132. It really does take courage for men to open up with each other when this has not been the normal, even in a text conversation with an old friend this morning I could feel a measuring of what would be acceptable in terms of talking about feelings rather than facts. But it is all practice and nothing needs to be perfect.

133. Floris it so beautiful how you have expressed so honestly and openly your relationship with God and how your connection and communication has unfolded with others. The truth is when we connect to the divinity within us its all there for all of us. Key is to allow and surrender to this amazing connection.

134. The truth you are living needs to be shared so that others may be inspired by your incredible choices.

135. When we allow our love within to guide us we discover the majesty of who we are is worth deeply honouring, as it confirms who we all equally are in essence. It is when we resist this love that we find ourselves behaving in ways that creates tension in our lives and as such between us. In surrendering to the love we all innately are we soon realise that every relationship we share offers us the opportunity to learn, grow and evolve to a deeper relationship within ourselves, and so with all others. It is through the beautiful ever-expanding movement of divine love, and the practice of appreciation and confirmation, that serves to deepen our connection to the power of Brotherhood.

136. True – why is it that we express a far less to each other, if at all. How is it that we dont express deep honour, appreciation and adoration of each other when this is what is felt and water it down, dismiss it or replace it with a harsher alternative? It is deeply important for us to express the truth to each other and in this, allow each of us to be openly loving and beholding of each other.

137. Men and women are all people. We all want to be loved. We all want to live a joyful and purposeful life.

138. As a woman it is incredibly beautiful to hear a man speak with such delicateness and reflect on the past with such honesty. One can easily see that through being truly tender with one another that relationships between men and women will completely shift as our willingness to understand one another opens up.

139. And until we deeply love and appreciate ourselves and confirm the Love we know we are, we will never truly see this in another.

140. It is true that we all know Love and yet we are too busy seeking it from outside and waiting for it to arrive on our doorstep without firstly living the Love we know we are.

141. Am I stable, connected and solid in myself? Or am I sad, disappointed and looking emotionally for others to validate me? For a lot of my life I have been in camp no. 2 and so this has meant the connections that have been there with women have got twisted into stimulants to make me feel better, to pick me up when nothing else will do. It’s such a shame that this addiction and craving got in the way as it absolutely stops me from building true friendships. We all, women and men have so much to share and bring. It’s a crime as you show Floris that we tend to live divided and segregated in such a profound way.

142. Sometimes, I get the feeling that men love women more than women love men. To feel just how much a man really appreciates a woman is something out of this world because most of the time women are not appreciating themselves AT ALL!

143. Appreciating ourselves allows to embrace and value the beauty and reflection of others and not resist the pull to be more of who we are.

144. Thank you Floris for sharing and showing that it is ok to feel what we feel and explore it without judgement but with astuteness and love.

145. Becoming aware of how much I hold back expressing love to another especially my husband has been quite revealing but the more I am becoming aware of it the more I am expressing. Our behaviours can be so ingrained but as I develop my awareness through connecting to my body I am beginning to let go of the behaviour of holding back to naturally express the love that I am.

146. We all want to be loved and cared for, this is with out a doubt true. To let this in from another we need to care for and love our self first, this builds a sense of self worth. Otherwise, we often do not allow ourself to be loved and cared for, as we do not feel worthy to receive what is on offer.

     1. Absolutely – Love is an every way street that begins with each of us.

147. I can be quite hard on men so we all equally have something to learn.

148. Thank you, Floris for writing what is so palpable to many men and women.. The more transparent we bring up these things the easier it is to resume our equalnes and let everything go that is not that. Super easy once we let go of any extractions away from the truth (distractions, shame, game, emotions etc.). So awesome to read by this blog that it is possible and that how much we open up and let go is in our own hands.. Let’s use our power wisely.

149. The pressure placed on men by women to be aggressive and tough as women harden and compete in the workforce and life in general has taken its toll on the health and well-being of humanity. It is refreshing to meet men and women in the community who are letting go of their walls of protection and reconnecting to the tenderness and love we all innately are.

150. “Why is it so hard to admit to ourselves, and each other, how much we care for and love each other?” because we don’t want to get hurt. We would also have to feel the full extent of the love we have walked away from and don’t live.

151. “By letting in women and their many different expressions of love, and by expressing my own love and affection, I have felt more honouring and appreciation than I have ever felt in my life before.” It is indeed a two way street Floris, and one that is so worth going down as we can only benefit. Only by opening ourselves up and expressing our own love are we truly able to let another in and in return feel the depth of love that is on offer to us all the time.

152. The full expression of what we know to be true, and what we are learning as we develop in life, allows others the opportunity to consider if that is also true for them. Without that expression, no such opportunity exists.

153. “By letting in women and their many different expressions of love, and by expressing my own love and affection, I have felt more honouring and appreciation than I have ever felt in my life before.” Honesty plus openness equals intimacy and that’s the most loving mathematical equation we can all work on together. Thank you Floris.

154. It is great to have this discussion with absolute honesty in how men see women and also how women see men, as currently in the world we have so much abuse alongside ill beliefs, ideals, behaviours and patterns. As a woman only today I could see that the natural essence within men is so so tender, sweet and gentle but they do not allow this completely out or allow others completely in from a fear or being either rejected or to have these innate qualities abruptly dismissed. If we truly gave each other space, respected others and were willing to let our guards and layers or protection down letting our love out and others in so so much would change within the world.

155. I still love that line you’ve written Floris that “We, as men, adore women…” Such a beautifully tender and truthful statement that is important to remember. Deep down this is true for every man, as is the reciprocal true for every woman.

     1. Yes and when one is given the opportunity to witness this it is truly a blessing for all.

156. ‘Why is it so hard to admit to ourselves, and each other, how much we care for and love each other?’
     Good question – it usually take a catastrophe to bring the world together in aid and realise that we are all people living life on the same planet! But, to live in a way that honours how much we really do love each other would expose war, expose racism, nationalism and most religions that seek to separate and control mankind. If the majority moved back to a way of love with each other – minorities would no longer be governing and categorising our relationships.

157. The level of love we have for ourselves is the level of love we allow to see and feel from others. Regardless of how much other people love us, if we are not able to love ourselves, we can’t actually allow the love from others to truly come in, in full.

158. A beautiful blog Floris that completely demonstrates the tender beautiful man you are. What an inspiration you are to both men and women.

159. It is truly beautiful to feel you connect to and express you from an honesty and vulnerability that is deeply healing from all who read this. So many of us deny these innate qualities at our own expense and the expense of a world that desperately needs the reflection of a way of being we should all in fact be embracing… our responsibility in this should never be forgotten, for the enormity of what we bring and the healing it offers us all is truly incredible.

     1. It is about dropping the ‘what do I get from this’ stance isn’t it? If we didn’t come from that space I am sure we would be far more responsible and productive without filling the space with unnecessary distractions.

160. Simply beautiful Floris, thank you for writing this.

161. Thank you Floris for sharing so honestly. The tenderness, fragility and true presence that resides within men is rarely experienced in this day of age and to make this available in your interactions and via reflection for others men is so important. I am aware that women have forgotten what it is like to be truly held in this loving and tender way with men and need the support to open themselves to this and what is innately true. We are all connected and it is the natural way for both men and women to meet in this preciousness that you have written of and to expose all the false beliefs, ideals and pictures that are getting in the way.

162. ‘Why is it so hard to admit to ourselves, and each other, how much we care for and love each other?’ … maybe because to do this, we have to first admit to ourselves how much we love ourselves, and with that appreciation and understanding then comes a responsibility to nurture and care for ourselves with the love that we are, to live in a way that is bringing all the love that we are to all that we do.

     1. Yes Alison. To offer this level of love to ourselves is less familiar than the outward expression of love and yet the outer expression without the inner connection feels empty.

163. ‘We, as men, adore women – we’ve simply forgotten how to be with that fragility’ … it felt very beautiful and honouring to read this statement. The ‘tough’ image that society pushes on men plays a huge part in this too and does such a dis-service to men and women both.

164. It is beautiful to read a man express with such openness and honesty, through our love and appreciation of each other we can begin to experience true relationships and the healing and evolution this offers us all when we make this simple choice.

165. It is interesting to consider what holds us back from being open about how much we care and love, because in truth we do. I can feel it within myself and I observe it in others, the pain comes from holding back and protecting ourselves from perceived injustices…time to dig a bit deeper and feel the foundation of love that resides within.

166. What we all crave most is to be met, loved and cared for. The more I give this to myself the more I am able to let this in from others.

     1. Yes Mary-Louise, when we love and appreciate ourselves first and foremost the more we want to share this love with others.

167. I’m not sure I am on board with everything in this article but I can see it’s an exploration into, “Why is it so hard to admit to ourselves, and each other, how much we care for and love each other?” and in this I can appreciate and support. It’s a great question that doesn’t have a single answer but at the same time maybe the answer is to allow that love to be seen. The ‘seen’ isn’t a one off or just for someone special but an allowance or understanding that that is a way you can live, we can live with each other that supports more of the same.

168. Its awesome to read something from a man expressing from his tenderness.

169. Such beautiful realisations Floris, if we could all wake up and realise what we actually crave or are missing we would definitely speed up our evolution and have a far lovelier time in the process. I also caught up with some old friends recently and it was very beautiful that after all this time of knowing each other and not seeing each other there the friendships did not waiver.

170. ‘Why is it so hard to admit to ourselves, and each other, how much we care for and love each other?’ Great question Floris and one for us all to definitely ponder on.

171. “However, what I’m craving most is to be met, loved and cared for.” This is what most of us crave for, to be met, loved and cared for, but the truth is that we need to start with self love, honesty and true expression. This is what has supported me in connecting with others, feeling loved and met.

172. This blog is a must read for all generations. The deep levels of truth that have been revealed from one man’s understanding has the capacity to support so many. To sit and ignore or toughen up stops many women from experiencing the truest qualities of a man.

173. Re reading your honest and open sharing Floris made me ponder how much of the adoration I feel from a man do I truly let in. To stay open and feel my fragility makes me aware of the power that is naturally there when I truly claim the beauty of the woman I am. When I do not let it in I can stay in comfort, in arrangements instead of deeply loving relationships with men (and women equally)

174. In the end it is all about appreciating our qualities, and truly feel how interconnected we all are. Making relationships more that just the superficial which causes us to objectify each other.

175. It is time every home became a safe and secure place for us to express the truth that all are equal in everyway. Maybe we have different roles we play but one persons is not better than the other.

176. Yes! This is so true, that the way we treat each other will define the what the next generation feels and experiences. We have an opportunity now to really deeply appreciate both men and women for the true qualities they bring and stop all these games, instead building relationships based on appreciation, understanding and a genuine love for each other.

177. Refreshing to read this, as it shows that we are more than our ideals and beliefs, and that the barriers we put up are of our own making – there is so much we are missing out on by keeping each other at arms length.

178. It is so beautiful to read this, and allow myself to feel deeply that we are all deeply loving each other, and it is up to us to let each other in. It is in developing the preciousness that in truth is so natural to us but we choose to hide from others, as it does not get supported from a very young age.

179. Thanks for the supreme honesty in sharing your realisations. It’s rare to have such candour, clarity and responsibility about what’s truly going on between friendships, relationships and genders. Your willingness to openly express vulnerability is greatly inspiring.

180. In every relationship we are choosing the quality and depth we are willing to meet people at, as this comes from our relationship with ourself first.

181. The absolute open and honest sharing in this blog is truly appreciated Floris van der Schot. Thank you for posting an incredible read for many to ponder, appreciate and start to question what true relationships are. The power in this blog is that the sharing is for both men and women to appreciate and to question what levels of responsibility are we willing to go to next to deepen and strengthen our relationships with others.

182. Floris I love how this article points out that we are responsible for what we bring to each other, both as women and men. Often in women’s conversations men are talked about as if useless, so it is no different than men making sexual comments – both degrading. Thank you for your honesty.

183. What becomes so very apparent having read your words Floris is how very important and healing it is to express what we feel. It allows us to see and feel the immenseness and volume of what is there to feel and express.

184. In revisiting your blog Floris I am still struck by the same sentence… “We, as men, adore women – we’ve simply forgotten how to be with that fragility”. There is something so fundamentally right about this statement as if it offers the world a foundation of truth that if we all came back to, would dissolve much of the inequality, abuse, self-abuse and so many of the issues we carry, both men and women.

     1. I had the exact same feeling, this sentence not only offers us a truth that can dissolve all the inequality and games and abuse that goes on between men and women, but equally it shows us the way forward.

        1. Agreed Meg, we are great at nominating, even complaining about how bad things are and thinking this or that is needed, hence our forays into the Women’s Lib movement, burning bra’s and so on, the equal pay battle for women etc. But what we need is a foundation of truth to come back to first… and that’s what this statement offers. A powerful re-settlement within each man and woman, from which each can feel the truth of how to be in relationship with the another from this base

        2. It’s amazing how many words we use everyday, it’s probably millions, but when it comes to the truth only a line is needed to provide an answer that the whole world is seeking for.

        3. Yes very true… truth is simple and requires few words. Complication is the hallmark of something that is attempting to convince us it is true.

185. I so enjoyed reading this because I became unaware if it was written by any gender, it was about love, not about defining what love felt like for a man or a woman. Thank you.

186. This article is gold as we begin to understand the root causes of the gender divide; this level of honesty and openness is exactly what will return us to unification and collaboration.

187. Embracing fragility and tenderness as a man allows us to be seen for the love that we truly are, and a great healing for all.

188. Very beautiful to read about a man who is in touch with who he really is, therefore he is able to see and feel what it means to connect with women at a deeper level.

189. This is a much needed blog that highlights some of the issues that hold men and women back from seeing us all as equal. Not just sex objects or butts of jokes but truly equal brothers

190. Our friendships offer us an opportunity to share ourselves in full. By this I mean being open and honest and vulnerable. If that is not acceptable, our relationships are conditional and based on need or tradition, expectations and fear of rejection. What ever it is it not ‘true’.

191. There is something seriously absurd going on in our relationships today. We hold at a distance and disregard those who we spend the most time with. We share experiences and intimate thoughts occasionally, but spend so much time tussling and competiting. All this with the person who we say we love! After reading your words I am wondering Floris just what our intimate relationships would be like if we actually let out that adoration and warmth we all know is there inside, free from cynicsm, attachment and fear of rejection. Well I for one am going to find out.

192. A deeply inspiring blog – Thank you Floris for your honest and honouring sharing.

193. Thank you Floris, for sharing this with honesty. As a whole, we as men need this level of truth to be expressed and shared with each other and the rest of humanity, It gives others the realisation that they can do it too.

194. At first as I read this it got me thinking about whether as a woman do I feel less than men, I was at first like no I don’t and in truth in don’t but then I could also feel things I have taken on where there are some behaviours that I still hold that reflect this. For example, in a relationship I still have feelings of elation when a man likes me and there is still a wanting to impress a man, I realised that this is part of this belief. Gosh, still a bit to learn in terms of fully respecting and honouring myself as a woman.

195. There can be some tensions between men and women, mutual misunderstandings which result in relationships being a certain way – it’s there in school, it’s at workplaces and in families but doesn’t resemble how women and men would relate from their essence, which is in total equality.

196. Any feeling of being better than another cannot come from a point of Love. Floris, I so appreciate your honesty in this blog and how you have shared your discovery of feeling ‘better than another’, which I too have often felt in various ways – for me it has not necessarily been gender related, but more a superiority or an arrogance that has played out with others which interestingly has stemmed from my own un-willingness to admit the grandness that I am. To make sense of what I have just said, we could say that feeling better or superior to another also exposes that there is an equal but opposite energy such as feeling that one is lesser than another. So if one end of the spectrum is experienced, then there has to be the opposite spectrum in the same person to balance it out. In the past I have experienced myself to feeling superior to others with an arrogance that I cannot say I am proud of, however on the same token, I also chose to see myself as lesser than others, and placed other people on a pedestal. It was more convenient to see others as better than me as then I would not have to admit that I actually am equal to them – for if I did that it would expose for me what I was not living and did not want to change in my life to be truly equal.
     The bottom line is that we are all offered the same opportunities, and no one is special. We are all equal. But the way we live and the choices we make are the determining factor for how we see ourselves and others. We can choose equality, or we can choose to see ourselves as better than, or lesser than. Entirely a choice that rests in our hands and hearts.

197. Every bit of what I do “is highlighting how much I express what I truly feel and how much I hold back”. There is so much for me to express and learn in life about having a true evolving relationships. These talks or comments in the past were usually about looks and/or were often sexually related.

198. This is a tender and honest sharing Floris and deeply appreciated. We all have put barriers in place and many of us have not stopped to accept responsibility for this. Your open and inspiring blog Floris has exposed this and has also allowed each of us to realise that everything is a choice and at any moment we can choose opening our heart and meeting others in the fragility we are protecting.

199. It goes to show that our connections are forever, irrespective of our choices and paths we may take.

200. This is cool Floris and so super important to indeed talk about and educate eachother from this new way, this new perspective of holding no abuse (to the best of your ability) in your body and not sexualising women in any way.

201. A very healing blog you have written here Floris for all women and men, for you have opened up and been honest about how you feel and what is really going on in relationships. For me honesty is a major step in letting people in and developing more intimacy. Men and women have for a long time engaged in the battle of the sexes – a stand-off full of competition, protection and pretence. Both sides not wanting to make the first move to bring the love we all know we want. You have boldly started to make the first move on behalf of all men, and it is to be deeply appreciated.

     1. Spot on Andrew – the battle of the sexes is not a pretty thing at all. And Floris has certainly broken the mould so to speak to come so clean with his gorgeous honesty and true gentlemanly qualities. And how he embraces equality is very tenderly inspiring for both men and women.

202. Floris I have felt very much the barrier you talk about that we put up as men and even though we can admit to ourselves how we want to be loved and to love others, there is still a hardening in our bodies that represents the emotional hurts in physical form. And I too have witnessed how bringing care and delicateness to daily tasks the body can let go back to a tenderness.

203. What is that ‘playing the game of independence’, to leave us alone. I have done the same as so many have done or are still doing as if this kind of indepence is a very important value in life. All I see is we avoid being hurt and have the idea that with being independent we cannot get hurt anymore but the only thing we do is hardening and closing our hearts to others but equally to ourselves.

204. It is all about relationships, isn’t it? When I make it about relationships, there is such joy to be in relationship with everyone for that relationship is within myself, so tight and confirming, it just feels impossible to hold back every single person, whether I know them or not, with no expectation of what their response back to me is.

     1. I agree Adele. Relationships are everything and the joy is immense when we don’t have any expectations.

205. So beautifully expressed Floris. That there is such an amazing love that men and women have and can have between us. We do tend to over complicate, which is where the conflict can come in, for both parties. But it is coming back to those qualities that we do love about each other, that we will be able to heal a lot of the hurts that are currently there between the sexes.

206. There is so much I could say about relating to men as a woman. I need to write a blog!

207. An invitation to surrender all the weapons of the gender divide and willingly step forward, appreciating our unique qualities, to learn and work together. Thank you, Floris.

208. So much to love about this blog. This line stood out for me today – “we, as men, adore women – we’ve simply forgotten how to be with that fragility.” And I glimpsed into the future, when all men allowed themselves to adore women from their fragility and women lived in their fragility. Wow, it felt pretty exquisite. And it takes each of us, one by one, to start living it now so it can become our future.

209. The battle is always within and this is what gets to play out in our day to day relationships. The more we are open and honest with ourselves the more we are open and honest with others. The gender issue is always about us denying something unresolved within this is why we need each other as this is the key that unlocks the doors that need to be flung open and aired so we can create more space to be more of who we are. Thank you Floris

210. I am loving all conversations about our approach to and attitudes about gender. It feels like we are unearthing many ill held beliefs and prejudices that, whilst we keep covered, still influence our behaviour towards and treatment of each other. Thank you for this beautifully open and honest article, Floris.

211. ‘Why is it so hard to admit to ourselves, and each other, how much we care for and love each other?’ We can’t bear to admit that we have been so separative. But how beautiful it is to surrender to Love and each other.

212. Floris, I love this sentence, ‘We, as men, adore women – we’ve simply forgotten how to be with that fragility.’ We women too need to relearn being with fragility, allowing the beauty that it is to be expressed.

213. I could really relate to this line Floris.. we as men adore women we have simply forgotten how to be with the fragility. Often I have held back this fragility from partners, as I didn’t want to appear as if I was weak. Thank you for writing from your experience that has supported me to understand this with a deeper richness than before.

214. Floris, it was lovely that your friends were still there for you and welcomed you back into the fold, there is something deeply beautiful in the potential men have to support each other. Whenever I have a conversation with another man that steps beyond the small talk I can feel how powerfully supportive that is to our health, not comparing or needing to measure up to each other but just encourage one another to share what is going on for us. If women are able to share so much of their feelings then men should be able to do the same, after all we feel just as much, so if we don’t share what happens in our bodies to that, that is unexpressed!

215. When we really start to appreciate those deeper and more delicate qualities that we all have within us, it opens up to the possibility of experiencing that not just on ourselves, but in each other, and the communication that can then be possible, is quite extraordinary.

216. Thank you again, I know I have already commented here but I read this fresh today as if I never had. “Why is it so hard to admit to ourselves, and each other, how much we care for and love each other?” I see this so often in young people who guard themselves to ensure they don’t get hurt but in guarding, they like me get way more hurt than if they had allowed themselves to feel all there was to feel in the beginning.

217. For me as a woman it is beautiful to read a blog from a man who is willing to be honest about how his relationships with women. The more honest we are the more we will be able to relate in truth to both men and women.

218. It is so refreshing to hear a man express the truth that all we crave is to be truly met and loved. Such a level of openness and honestly can only allow love to flow more freely.

219. “This experience made me appreciate how far I have come in terms of how I now relate to women and how I used to relate to them. Women (in my experience, at least), have often been a favourite topic to talk about or comment on. These talks or comments in the past were usually about looks and/or were often sexually related.” I have found that through being inspired by Universal Medicine to make changes to the way i live and then having had the opportunity years later to visit old friends, it can be fascinating to observe, without judgment, expressions & patterns that were our everyday normal.

220. What you share in this blog is deeply beautiful, it is touching to feel the appreciation you have for the connection with women as a man. And I can feel that it is in me too, only i sometimes use issues to keep myself guarded and not let myself feel this true preciousness that is within. A deeply inspiring blog.

221. This is such a precious awareness you share Floris “It’s so wondrous that the more I care for and love myself, the more I’m able to drop my self-protective stance and let women (and men) in.” I really love the way you choose to be wondrous about, what for me is the unfolding and deepening care and love I have been initiating and appreciating for myself. Your spot on when you say the out come is letting more people in.

222. A beautiful sharing, Floris. It is indeed time for us to deeply appreciate and love each other without the sexual hooks that are so commonly associated with male/female relationships.

223. Floris it was beautiful reading your tender blog – how could one not melt and open-heartedly respond.

224. As you wrote on your point 2 Floris “We, as men, adore women – we’ve simply forgotten how to be with that fragility” we women have take responsibility about this part a lot. How much do we express from our fragility in fact? More and more we become ‘like men’. Just recently I saw a promotion for a ‘women’s product’ where the women fight and made hard sport, which resulted in bleeding in parts of their body – and this was championed!!! Many women commented this promotion as the new amazing way of showing (and being) a woman – tough, hard and strong. We as women try to catch up with the men whereby it should be the other way around. We are all fragile and tender. And we have to find out a way to express this again. Only then we will be able to live in a lovingly, harmonious and intimate way together – we are all longing for this so desperately.

     1. Sandra what an incredibly confronting promotion you describe. It’s difficult to consider anyone would feel the value of themselves, men or women after watching this. I agree if men are being so openly confronted by women out man-ing them, it may well feel to men that they then are required/expected to increase their masculine image to keep up. When all along inside the impulse may well be to honour their fragility and vulnerability. Men are wise people they are starting to realise that the tough persona doesn’t work.

225. It is so true Floris, we can only change the world by expressing to the true nature of our being and by doing so we share that natural way of being as a man with all women and men, girl and boy, a new and natural way to relate to one another that will offer the alternative for the false identities we have been dictated to live from young.

226. This is beauty-full Floris “We, as men, adore women – we’ve simply forgotten how to be with that fragility.” We as women love men who share themselves with honesty, gentleness and warmth just as you have so lovingly expressed here . Thank you.

227. Such an important sharing Floris; it is this kind of honesty and openness we need in our work to get back to a more unified and loving relationship between men and women. So so important.

228. Thank you for sharing your true strength Floris. “We, as men, adore women – we’ve simply forgotten how to be with that fragility”.

229. I love how I am now relating to men as a woman…beautiful blog exploring this subject, how we relate and act with one another. I used to have so many assumptions that would get in the way of true connection, I have begun to allow men to feel who I truly am without the guard, they respond and we have truer relationships. I see how gentle and open and appreciative we can be with one another with out the guard.

230. A piece of writing that is, for me, true feminism – bringing the two genders back into honouring, respectful, collaborative balance with one another – thank you, Floris.

231. For generations society has modelled so much in the way we live that is not loving and supportive of our evolution. It is our responsibility to call a stop to these patterns and take responsibility for bringing our loving connection to every breath we take and every move we make.

232. Thank for your deeply honest sharing Floris.

233. I appreciate your honesty and self-disclosure here; not many men would go there, in my experience.It is very freeing and beautiful when they do though: to nominate in truth and without emotion how they do relate to women and likewise, how women relate to men. There is much to uncover and heal, for all of us.

234. It’s amazing how us men goad and one-up each other to the point of huge disrespect to others and of course, ourselves. There is such simplicity of us just wanting to connect, but we try all kinds of things outside ourselves to do so.

235. I love the nature of this blog. There are so many things I could share about relating to men as a woman. I am still uncovering life-times worth of ways of behaviour and attitudes that have influenced and determined how I relate to men in this life.

236. I’m also blown away by the willingness of the student body to explore and share their love and lives beyond the usual presentation of life.

237. I think as women there are many of us who could say that we’ve had a rocky relationship with fragility or being delicate! They’re qualities that often get overridden in the drive to get through life or get things done. But I’m seeing more and more how to honour how delicate we are doesn’t mean that we can’t get things done. It’s lovely to hear how you’re opening up to these qualities Floris!

238. I love how you deeply express how you feel about women and your feelings Floris. I have always witnessed and shied away from loving a woman (and not my partner) for who they are to prevent any possible misread feelings or emotions, when, as you have intimately shared here Floris, it’s to deeply honour, cherish, care and love them to the bone. Have we as men and women sabotaged this natural way-of-being. Women are grace-full and warm my heart and this I adore too.

239. Using online dating sites it would be easy to believe that men don’t appreciate women other than for the physical connection and affection. How refreshing to hear that is not the case.

240. We all have the qualities of femaleness and maleness within us. We simply have different bodies to carry and express them. Understanding this exposes the madness of any gender conflict or battle, because it is a conflict and battle against ourselves.

241. As I pressed the ‘like’ button, Floris, I realised that this word doesn’t come close to how much I love and appreciate your words. You are such an inspiration to all of us of how we can interrelate with each other on a truly loving and equal basis without agendas, sexual or not.

242. We could all take some more time to appreciate each other and what we bring. It is like we have a few different sides of what is sometimes described as a ‘gender war’ going on more and more at the moment. Men and women are pitted against each other and each trying to stand up for their rights within that. Have we ever simply taken a step back and appreciated each other and celebrated our ‘differences’, which is merely the unique way we speak/express to support each other. We are on guard from both angles and hence we never truly hear each other and what is being said. I can second the support offered at Universal Medicine healing courses and equal to that is the honesty and openness you bring to the table. If we want the ‘world to be a better place’ then it’s important to have a look at our input and this is a great place to start.

243. How different our society would be now, if men had been supported to deeply honour their delicacy and fragility that is so apparent in them when they are young boys, rather than expecting them to ‘toughen up and be hard’ in life.

244. There are so many things that are passed down from generation to generation without any questioning of whether they really support humanity to live together harmoniously or not. If we feel something is not working with our societies everywhere, my feeling is that we have a responsibility to say ‘it stops here with us and we are not passing this on.’

245. It is a blessing to feel a man being honest about his vulnerability and longing to be met, loved and cared for. This should of course be the norm, as men are deeply sensitive just as women are, but still it touches me when a man does not feel he has to be strong and have it all sorted.

246. Do we all have a Venn diagram of things we would do for love, but not that? Or, is it just that little bit that crosses over into who we are that will always make us question our choices?

247. I just re read this sentence and thought, is this not something that we all want first and foremost:
     I actually would love to be honoured and loved in the most honouring and loving way possible.

     1. So true Rosie; wanting to ‘be loved and honored in the most honoring and loving way possible’ is so fundamental in the human being and we have made so many steps away from it…. most of us are so far from that full, beautiful & natural experience that it is high time we start getting honest, allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and open about where we are personally, as Floris is showing us we can change the tide.

248. Reading what you share Floris: “- the game of protecting my individuality and telling the world to “leave me alone.” However, what I’m craving most is to be met, loved and cared for.” is a game. It’s a competitive game with no winners except when I covert myself as the one to be kept separate. One when I do this it hurts and It’s a loss to me and everyone, back to a no win for all.

249. It’s so beautiful to read a man’s perspective on relating to women. I love your honesty and your willingness to be open. So many men would keep this topic close to their chest. We need more blogs like these.

250. Along with all the gold in this blog – this is a good question for us all to ask ‘Do I want the next generation of men to check out, harden, harass and bully just as much (or more) than I did?’ as it can be relative to any topic, person or situation if we change a few words around. The more we continue to accept the harshness or the so called ‘norm’ around today, the more we drop the bar of what we allow, accept and expect for ourselves and others. When we start to make the truer and natural changes for ourselves we are supporting that to be there, to be possible and to be a reflection for the next generation.

251. I am learning too to appreciate the connection to myself and the qualities I bring. It is incredibly powerful when I do rather than to live in a way that tries to seek love from others for what I have done.

252. It seems we are each waiting for the other to share more intimately before we will open up more to others. Better to say what is there to be said in the moment as this way is really very delight-full for another to receive.

253. What does really touch me was your question about if I like the next generation to make the same experiences as I made when I was young. I had to feel into how my growing up was and have to say: no! And so the question is , what can I do to make this not happen? As I see the things did get worse, not better for teenagers. So I’ve done defiantly not my job here. Ouch! Now, Sandra: choose differently. Go for it.

254. I remember one time asking myself would I like it if another man was ogling or disrespecting my daughter or wife and the answer was no and from then on, I stopped doing it to other women. As men we do know what it is like to deeply honour and respect women.

     1. This is an awesome way to consider the foulness that can go on toward women. Every woman is someone’s daughter, sister, mother or Aunty. Looking at it this way and relating it to ones own family takes the objectification out of it.

255. Its just so amazing when we have old friends that are always there, even though we all make different choices and may spend long amounts of time away from each other the true friendships never end.

256. Floris, I love your willingness to let down your protective shields and be open to sharing your revelations as you return to the truth of men being in their true fragility and this being the greatest gift to themselves, to women and to humanity.
     “We, as men, adore women – we’ve simply forgotten how to be with that fragility”

257. “We, as men, adore women – we’ve simply forgotten how to be with that fragility.”
     It seems that men and women have amassed so many pictures of what we think we should be for the other, masters at not being true to ourselves and protecting the very fragility and vulnerability that opens the door to true meaningful connection.

258. It was so lovely to return to your very tender blog today Floris, and reading my way through your list of realisations this one jumped out at me and brought me to tears. “We, as men, adore women – we’ve simply forgotten how to be with that fragility”. I could feel the adoration in these words and I suspect that most, maybe even all, men would love to know how to truly be with women, how to simply adore them free of any expectations, beliefs and have to’s.

259. Thank you for the honesty in sharing about your experience. My experience of most men when they are on their own is tender, somewhat vulnerable and very caring. But often when I observe a group of men (and older boys) the tenderness seems to get replaced with a boisterous rugged talk as if each is not only trying to show how tough they are, but they are also trying to out do the other. The dishonouring talk about women and anything else that could show their actual loving nature as well as the hardness in their body seems to be an attempt to hide their true gorgeous nature. It is wonderful that men like you can offer a reflection that it is not necessary to put on the usual bravado and that there can be a different way.

260. ‘Why is it so hard to admit to ourselves, and each other, how much we care for and love each other?’ A great question to come back to – we do know and can feel that love, we actually reject it.

261. Floris what you have demonstrated so incredibly beautifully to the world, through your sharing, is that the qualities that are generally only ever seen as ‘female’ are equally in men too.

262. Appreciation is one of the most powerful things we can choose, and in this confirming ourselves in the truth of who we are, not the many and various ways we judge and put ourselves down for all that we are not.., and only then are we able to truly appreciate and confirm others, as we can see them too in the equal true light we are all from.

     1. I agree Annie, to appreciate ourselves is one of the most powerful things we can do for ourselves yet there is such a strong stigma attached to it in our society. I know that when I truly appreciate myself I feel loved, cherished and adored and I do not need anything from outside of myself as nothing is greater than what I am feeling inside. From this I am beginning to understand that it is impossible to truly appreciate another unless I am appreciating myself first.

263. A great observation that many of us are remiss to show our true love and care for each other and to express this openly, be vulnerable and allow ourselves to be truly seen.

264. It is a beautiful moment indeed when we can look back and assess how far we have come, how much we have grown, how much we have let go of things. There is so much to be appreciated in this. And then in our appreciation, we get to form a stronger foundation in order to grow more in the next cycle being offered. Thank you Floris for this reminder to take moments to stop and appreciate our growth.

265. This is such an important topic, Floris. It is very telling that most men tend to either feel embarrassed or defensive if they are exposed in the degrading and objectifying way they speak about women to one another. Their reaction alone reveals that they know within that what they say is not right and does not feel good. I know that I used to objectify women all the time, and it was very uncomfortable when I had to face up to this. I used to consider it ‘normal’ and that everyone is doing it so it is not a big deal. But the fact is that there was so much going on underneath about how I truly felt about women, which was wrapped up with a superiority driven by anger and sadness. It is a big big topic and one that needs the support of other men who have chosen to begin to unravel the web we have spun for ourselves.

266. Floris you show it is possible for men to be just as tender and fragile as women. But what an opportunity there is for a deeper level of love and understanding here. It is gorgeous to read a man expressing in this way, with the knowing that we are all equal.

267. As men, we hold back expressing from our tenderness as if we do, we are likely to experience rejection from the world but as you have mentioned Floris, it is our responsibility to show the way that we can enjoy truly intimate relationships with both men and women without any sexual connotations and true appreciation for who we are.

268. Before we start feeling into and talking about the way we relate as men and women we don´t even really know what keeps us from having open and loving relationships with each other. There are so many beliefs, pictures and hurts we hold onto that the simple and pure essence that otherwise would naturally define our relationships is buried. These layers need to be exposed, personally and as the consciousness that is running society so that we can set free the genders from the impositions that keep us less than we are.

269. A big part of why the world is in such a state is because we keep silent and do not express what we are feeling. Your blog, Floris, is a heart warming example of how natural it can be to say it all.

270. As and when each of the genders embrace the innate qualities they hold we offer up to each other the invitation, space and support to deepen our acceptance and appreciation of these qualities, restoring balance in life and redeveloping true brotherhood.

271. It really is beautiful to be able to have relationships with men and there be no sexual tension either from me towards then or vice versa. Being able to be intimate and open with men and not to be weary of their intentions and just relax and be with each other is super beautiful.

272. The objectification of the other doesn’t originate from one gender alone. Both men and women have reduced themselves to refer to themselves and others as little more than objects. This, in a society that doesn’t nurture true intimacy, nurturing or any of the true qualities we all yearn to express is the undealt with societal wound, with the salt being rubbed into it constantly regardless of how much we try to numb it, simply by the way we choose to be with ourselves and others. If we are not being tender, loving then we are being harming. There is no middle way.

273. What the world needs most is tenderness and the celebration of fragility. When this comes from a man it cuts ingrained ill consciousness that has kept both man and woman incarcerated in roles and ways of being that is far from who they really are. Thank you Floris for paving the way with all the men and women that cross your path.

274. The most amazing deepening between men and women in my experience is the forever deepening expression between us. Therefore, men may express their hurt unexpressed towards women in talking sexually about them, and women may express their hurt unexpressed towards men in other ways, but this is all a process when we recognize the true purpose behind it. When we take the responsibility to then look at our own hurts and commit to the responsibility in healing them, we would not stay in the indulgence of blaming the opposite sex, because it is most amazing to be truly relating, never in perfection, but forever deepening.

275. Recently I have begun an experiement, a choice to not hold back what I feel to express to both men and women, but men in particular. I have found what is there to express has a lot of hurt buried, obviously from not expressing all that has to be expressed from the past. But standing firm and committed, steadily holding myself to do this has been an absolutely freeing experience, and the best part yet is the expression then has the opportunity to deepen and refine.

     1. A social experiment that will not necessarily be quantifiable but that will start to turn the tanker of the gender segregation and underlying mistrust and hostility… let’s imagine the impact of this experiment when we get more participants!

276. ‘Leave me alone’ or in my words ‘I just want to be left alone’ was my attitude for quite a long time and still today I sense some traces of it although I consciously choose to not stay stuck in it anymore, but the protection and overwhelm caused by the inability or unwillingness to openly relate with people has left a mark that needs to heal. Fragility, intimacy, understanding, expressing are key elements to finally start living what we all crave most despite our defenses – being truly met and held as who we are.

277. I was thinking about how you mentioned all the men talking about women, and you know…. the truth is that women do this too, and I have been in circles of women where the quality of the conversation about men has been very sad. It is quite shocking when we just talk about the opposite sex in such a harmful way, seeing them as objects instead of the beautiful tender men that they are. My reason to share this, is because it is not just men who are guilty of this kind of behaviour.

278. There are so may barriers between men and women that hinder the truth of brotherhood that is on offer. So many people have subscribed to beliefs about men and women or fallen into behaviours all stemming from hurts. Breaking down these barriers and protections allows for the gorgeousness of connection between two people and what sex a person is becomes irrelevant.

279. I for one say thank you for letting yourself feel that level of honesty in your body. Sometimes these underlying beliefs hide very deeply and the only person they sabotage is ourselves. I am learning to not be quite so arrogant when I say I don’t have a particular belief but just take time to see if there is indeed traces of it, or remnants of it still buried somewhere out of obvious ‘sight’. It has been very humbling but equally very empowering.

280. I feel one of the key words in your sharing is fragility – trusting that it is okay to be raw and real and seen just for who you are and knowing that you will still be okay even if you (in that situation) experience rejection.

281. I love the honesty here about how you have been in the past, and the courage you had to admit these attitudes were harming you as well as women, and that you took the time to release and heal it all. Now I bet your male friends admire your loveliness and tenderness too.

282. When you are held by a man for who you are, not what you do, or what you look like, its so powerful, I know I just melt like butter on a summers day, its like all the femininity just starts to come naturally flow out. Each sex holds the key back home for the other sex, we are so connected and can support each other if we truly allow it.

283. I love the way you are opening up Floris, developing your relationship with yourself and appreciating how you are changing, and noticing the difference when you are with your ‘old’ mates. The great thing is that when you aren’t afraid to show this, they get an amazing reflection of how to be true to themselves too.

284. ‘Why is it so hard to admit to ourselves, and each other, how much we care for and love each other?’ Great sentence Floris. Could it be that it all starts with our relationship with ourselves and bringing deeper care and love here will then naturally extend to all others?

285. The tenderness, care and love in your blog, for both men and women is palpable Floris. Thank you for sharing the true essence of a man with all of us.

286. Beautiful to be so open, it heals. I have found my relationships with men have changed a lot over the last few years. I meet them as equals, without hesitation and less protection. I can feel a surrender between us of a trust and being seen for who we are with less stuff in the way. This is the power of healing and letting go of protection.

287. ‘By not sharing what I’ve learned, I shy away from responsibility’ – This is true Floris; if we can see through behaviour that is disrespectful, abusive or disempowering of another person, group or gender, then we have a responsibility to share a true way of being where humanity is treated equally with enormous care and love, otherwise the inequality within society will continue.

     1. Yes, well said, and this is a shift from hiding behind our made up powerlessness and embracing responsibility and the integrity to express what we see, and know, to be the dysfunctional and divisive patterns in society.

288. Floris, I can feel how true this is, ‘We, as men, adore women – we’ve simply forgotten how to be with that fragility.’ I notice how natural it is for us to treat each other as equals and how hard, unnatural and separative it is when we treat each other as merely sexual objects, growing up there seemed to be a division between boys and girls and men and women, this starts young. Now that I see men and women as equals and have friends that are men I can feel the amazing qualities and relationships we can have with each other and what a shame it is that we often only have friends of the same sex as ourselves cutting out 50% of the population.

289. Floris this is a very beautiful and honest sharing and opens up the possibility and expression for true relationships with ourselves and others of both genders with an honouring tenderness and appreciation as the way forward in the world.The quality we live and the quality we bring wherever we go says so much and your reflection is an inspiration to others to inspire their own realness ,truth and appreciation for each other.

290. WE do have a responsibility, not only to ourselves but to everyone and to the generations to come. Living by example is how we can fulfil this responsibility and you have shown us here how that is unfolding for you. I would imagine there are many men like you who do not trust to voice their true feelings and thus their behaviours and ways of being stay the same and the gender gap widens. You show us that it really doesn’t have to be this way and that there is support from Universal Medicine and it’s practitioners to bring more honesty to ourselves and begin to live in a true way where we respect and honour each other and where that desire to love and be loved diminishes as we realise we are already love and it is in the coming together that we can celebrate this.

291. We have so much to offer one another when we really connect to the qualities within our selves that each gender brings. And this can occur in all manner of relationships, work, leisure, family, friends. The more I realise, appreciate and express my qualities, the more love, appreciation and intimacy I share in all my relationships. This is a far cry from how I used to live life 10 years ago; studying with Serge Benhayon has completely transformed my outlook on life, love and who we all are. Thank you Floris for choosing to look deeper and feel the effects of your attitudes and behaviour and discovering the richness of who you really are, all your exquisite qualities that go way beyond the crippling limitations of sexual discrimination.

292. I once believed what I most wanted in life was ‘to love and be loved in return’. Then was shown that to truly love another, I had to first love myself. This new awareness changed my life forever. I’m no longer that person desperately seeking love outside of herself, I now have a growing capacity to love everyone equally. It is no longer about me and what I want but how I am and the quality I bring to all my relationships.

293. What you have shared here, Floris, opens up the true potential we have as men and women to honour and value our innate qualities bringing them unashamedly to the table to balance and settle the world so we can move on together.

294. Floris, I can very much relate to this in the opposite way. I find it difficult to allow equality between me and men and there is still quite some mistrust that men are only interested in me being sexual attractive for them. However in the last year I deepened the care and love with me and sometimes I now catch the eyes of complete strangers not seeing anymore sexual needeness in them but tenderness and love. Thank you that you have brought up this subject .

     1. Same! Same! No different! I am also deepening my relationship with myself and seeing the tenderness and love in others, from both sexes, which is always to the best of my ability.

295. Floris, thank you for sharing so intimately your thoughts, feelings and experiences. Your blog could be essential reading for some I care deeply for but sadly, it is not yet time for this choice to be made. Perhaps blogs such as this could be kept in a perpetual archive somewhere and made available when the season is ripe, to be released like the proverbial bardi moths from their great caterpillar bodies from deep in the ground when conditions and timing are constellated. Your expression is so appreciated.

296. I know ‘this game of independence’ very well and it has never delivered any of the intimacy I have craved. It has only brought emptiness and misery so why entertain it? It’s not worth gaining the illusion of safety for giving up on connection and love.

297. This is such an enormous expose Floris, thank you being willing to not only go there and explore this for your self, but to share it so publicly. It is an awesome conversation to initiate, because gender supremacy occurs in both sexes, learning to see, feel and embrace our true equality and graceful qualities has to begin with people like your self taking the first steps to dismantle these insidious attitudes.

298. Thank you for the open and honest reflections offered here. Whenever men behave in a dishonouring way towards women, everyone, men as well as women are trapped in stereo types. In that situation not only is there less permission for the woman to express the power of her qualities, but the man is also in a trap of not being able to show the tender, caring and loving being that he inherently is. We all lose magnificence of each of our expressions and the joy of experiencing the union and harmony among us all.

299. This is so gorgeous to read Floris “As a man I am deeply tender, caring and loving. I love my roles as a father, friend, brother, son, colleague, fellow brother of life, philosopher and as a son of God. I’m in awe with people and the communication and relationships between them – which to me is true religion and science.”

300. “I’m experiencing some very special relationships with women of different ages, which are to me incredible and very precious. Writing about the preciousness is very touching to me, as these relationships are very dear to both myself and to the women” – beautiful and love this Floris, yes, as i’ve been learning Love over the years from it being very much a pictured or idealistic kind, to realising that when there are no such hooks, pins or pictures, what is left is a love that’s true, pure.. and something I’ve wanted my entire life. And today do enjoy and with many different people too i would otherwise not thought possible, odd or strange. It is freeing to love without the blindness of belief or condition, but instead with the sight of open truth.

301. ‘We, as men, adore women – we’ve simply forgotten how to be with that fragility’ …. I was deeply touched by this statement, Floris. Maybe the fragility being offered by women, says ‘hello’ to the innate tenderness in men and it raises some dis-comfort, due to the ridiculous belief that so many are raised under, that men should not show their sensitivity. Such a crime, a deep dis-honouring of all men, it is simply exquisite to feel the tenderness from a man.

302. ‘The absolute beauty is how they’ve welcomed me back without reservation, having missed me too’ …. what a gorgeous confirmation of you, the loving man that you are, of your relationship with each other – true brotherhood and the reflection that you are offering all men …. that you can make different choices in life, reconnecting to the tenderness, that is innate in all men, and still be loved for the deeply caring, joyful man that you are.

     1. Yes, this is a great confirmation that men are longing to be ‘allowed’ to be the tender, gentle men they are. And one invitation (hanging out with you, Floris) is enough to shift habits of a lifetime.

303. The caring nature of a man and the nurturing aspects of a woman offers the world a unity of the two genders living in their true essence, reflecting to the world that we are here together on earth in sync with each other, in harmony and expressing love that extends way beyond our physical form.

304. It is great that you write this Floris and it is very important to ask ourselves what we are contributing to in how we are living and what we are saying, nodding our heads to or turn our eyes from.

305. The willingness to not stay silent is very appreciated and foundational for us all. It makes life simpler and offers great clarity when we are honest enough to say there are thoughts that cause separation between us. With that awareness we can then choose the quality of love.

306. Protection and measuring our commitment to love seems to be common to both men and women, but in truth we all want the same thing as you have revealed Floris, to be deeply loved and adored. The stumbling block is we as men and women have lost sight of our connection to the purpose of being male and female, we each have a role that brings balance and harmony, one without the other is like night without the day, when we accept this the judgement, objectification, competition, mystery will dissolve and respect, understanding, equality, appreciation and honouring will be the way.

307. It is very inspiring to read of the changes you have made Floris… from the superficiality and superiority of women being about looks and sex, to now knowing the depth of connection, intimacy, truth and equality that can be shared within these relationships. Beautiful for both men and women to read and also teenagers to be inspired by.

308. Men and women do indeed adore each other… it is only all the images – ideals and beliefs – we take on along the way that tarnish the truth of what we truly feel.

309. Your blog brings out the equality in relationships Floris… we all crave and wish to be loved and honoured as the tender, gorgeous beings we are.

     1. And if we can come to the table together, unashamedly and equally, honouring each others’ innate qualities, we have the ingredients to balance and settle the world.

310. Thank you Floris for your honesty in sharing your realisations and your tender unfolding. “do I want to contribute to how warm, loving, intimate, equal, unfolding, joyful and loving the relationship between women and men can be – without any sexual hooks?” and your blog says a definite yes.

311. There’s a responsibility for each and every individual – no matter man or woman – to love ourselves and be with each other from this love. Including the acceptance, understanding and allowing the non-loving choices we and others make. This is a way of life – The Way of the Livingness – which would be far more simple if we would accept this fact and learn to hold ourselves in our own love and that of the Universe around us, in order to be able to also hold others. If not, reacting to other people or accidents easily occur. Hence, all the problems, violence and manipulation between men and women. If we would look from a distance, what is it about us human beings that at times we behave totally against our loving essence? Wouldn’t it be wise to take responsibility for this?

312. When we are guarded and living from our hurts we ca never fully appreciate ourselves and others, no matter the gender.

313. Brilliant Floris – there is this game of independence that we play, that often seems to result in us denigrating and belittling the very things we truly Love. It is like this distance we create, helps us numb the fact we miss the connection so. But this independence is really flawed especially when you understand women, men we all are one, literally, so any derogatory disdain or hurt or pain is just us harming ourselves.

314. Wow Floris, I really appreciate that you took the time to write this blog to share – whilst you were on an away weekend with friends, thank you for making the space, the world is now a richer place with your genuine, delicate and insightful blog.

315. Such a deeply tender and loving blog – thank you Floris for allowing us to share your innermost feelings and tenderness. It feels truly honouring for both men and women when we share our love as equals.

316. I used to feel very hurt with how I saw women were talked of and treated by men. It is absolute abuse and is not in truth acceptable. What may have hurt me more though was seeing how women responded by often just allowing it and not standing up for themselves.

317. Great contribution and I love the fragility and honesty of a man who doesn’t shy away from saying how it really is but doesn’t have to be at all – once we become honest and take responsibility, we can easily pull down the divide between not only the genders but nations, religions, cultures, etc.

318. We all benefit from you dropping your self protective stance and actually letting yourself out and women in. Thank you so much, I can feel the difference from when I get a hug with a person who’s heart is truly open , to someone who’s heart is not open- it feels completely different and has huge impact on me and I am sure – them!

319. How can I describe the changes that I have also made towards being more self-loving? “. . . by expressing my own love and affection, I have felt more honouring and appreciation than I have ever felt in my life before”.
     As a man on the path of return to being truly tender, I am also “learning to let true love and appreciation in, surrendering and deepening the acceptance that I am indeed a precious and loving being myself”.
     My life before the presentations by Serge Benhayon was one of arrogance and emotional turmoil and I would just bottle those emotions up. Letting go of the way in which I would have uncontrolled thoughts about my fellow brothers and sisters has been a wonderfull journey of feeling and nominating those things that have been holding back my evolution! Everything in my life has become about being responsibly involved in bringing a lovingly tender connection for myself so that others can then feel for themselves the changes I have made in my Livingness.

320. I am becoming increasingly aware of my responsibility to share and not hold back and this is beginning to expand in all areas of my life. The key here is consistency and not just when I feel like it or to share with some people and not others.

321. I love the foundation of your blog here Floris, which is that as men, in truth, you adore women. This is such a beautiful statement and starting point… particularly because it is so true. The reverse is also the case of course, we are yet to fully appreciate one another from a gender perspective… but in time, it will happen.

322. It is deeply responsible to consider our own choices and actions, to heal our patterns of behaviour that have been less than loving and to inspire a true relationship to seed forth between men and women, between men and between women – from young to old.

323. Your honesty is appreciated Floris. Once nominated and expressed it goes a long way in being a healing not only for you , but many of us who hold beliefs about gender, hidden or not.

324. You demonstrate here so naturally the steps we must all take within to allow gender equality to be in community everywhere.

325. When we start to appreciate each other for our gorgeous and unique but equally divine qualities, then men and women will be able to bring to each other all that they long for, and in our hearts know we deserve.

326. We really take away from relationships between the opposite sex when we come from the ideals and beilefs around how we need to be with men. For example, if a man is married, we need to be a certain way, and if we are just friends with a man, we would be with them differently. We have this belief that you cannot be truly intimate with a man unless it is our partner. We really have misinterpreted the word intimacy and held it as exclusive. Such a pity when every man on this planet deserves to feel a truly natural intimacy between himself and another woman with no sexual connotations whatsoever, just a truly equal, loving and deep connection.

327. With amazing humility and honesty, your blog so simple deconstructs one of the most contested and strained topics of our times, how men and women relate to one another – no one here is placed as better or worse, and no one becomes a victim – what you have done is create equality in your willingness to be honest about how you saw women, and how you truly relate to them now with love and respect of yourself and of them.

328. Just because we might make different choices to someone else, does not mean we have to cut each other out. I love how you have reconnected with very old friends and hold them as no more and no less than you Floris, this is a beautiful teaching to many of us – that we are all the same.

329. ‘We, as men, adore women – we’ve simply forgotten how to be with that fragility.’ I feel this has been the case for women too and we are all relearning the beauty of fragility with ourselves and with each other. Thank you Floris for your tender blog.

330. As women when we can live the truly exquisite power and grace that is inside us to claim no man will find it easy to dismiss women as sexual objects or as inferior, nor will they be able to resist the inspiration offered by this reflection that says they are just as exquisite, tender and graceful.

331. The love and appreciation in this blog just blows me away. Thank you Floris for sharing your tenderness and vulnerability.

332. Interesting isn’t it how we all want love and to be loved and yet we are reluctant to stand up for love and to be loving in all situations in our lives?

333. I have been very aware recently of how when I hold back on expressing what I feel is the truth, I am making it all about me and my own and not feeling the bigger picture of what I am colluding with or condoning.

     1. My feeling is the same Andrew, when I hold back my natural expression I have lost connection and “the choice to deeply connect to my body”.

334. ‘Why is it so hard to admit to ourselves, and each other, how much we care for and love each other?’ This is a great question Floris – could it be that we have lost touch with our true nature and not lived making choices from this universal Love. Gorgeous to feel your openness to it and the relationships you have developed as a result.

335. One of the key questions you ask Floris is do you want the next generation to grow up experiencing this kind of behaviour? We have such a huge responsibility in educating our younger generations about what true respect and relationship is and this can only effectively be done by example not by preaching. By the very definition of the ‘generation’, it is not reasonable to expect that each ‘generation’ have a duty to ‘re-generate’ rather than ‘de-generate’ our behaviour towards one another?

     1. “By the very definition of the ‘generation’, it is not reasonable to expect that each ‘generation’ have a duty to ‘re-generate’ rather than ‘de-generate’ our behaviour towards one another?” Great point, great slogan Rowena.

336. Great questions Floris, how do we want the next generation to grow up, connected to their essence or protected from all the supremacy and given up behaviours that many have today. It is our collective responsibility to know what choices we are making, to be honest like your were and make changes.

337. So beautifully shared Floris, such honesty and calling for a new level for other mean to go to. What you are sharing I am sure, you wouldn’t be the only man that has felt and thought these things about women. But so healing and helpful for all of us, but men and women to read what you have expressed.

338. We avoid the responsibility we all have when we behave, move and live in a way that sends the message out to ‘leave us alone’. This responsibility is, as you’ve shared Floris, to show a true way to be in relationship with others that’s loving and respectful, as we live in a world where this is not the standard ‘norm’.

339. There is nothing more gorgeous than a man relating to a woman in their tenderness, opening up and being willing to be truly seen. You are an inspiration Floris, thank you for your vulnerability and sharing.

340. I can feel how your honesty Floris about how you had felt about men being more than women is actually supporting the relationship of all men and women. For in acknowledging a belief that was there, you opened up the space to be in more genuine relationship with women, and paved the way for all men to do likewise. There is no longer that hidden barrier that no-one is able to accept The more as men we express our thoughts and feelings, the more understanding is brought into relationships, and with understanding their is an allowing for more connection where before there may have been an unspoken mistrust that rippled way beyond your life into the lives of many men and women.

341. Floris, our world is full of people who feel exactly as you do here, but few have the courage to allow themselves to be vulnerable, to feel their fragility, to be able to share as you have done in this article. Your voice has spoken for many.

342. “If I don’t share what I’ve learned, I’m telling myself that Love isn’t important. By not sharing what I’ve learned, I shy away from responsibility.” These lines really stood out for me Floris…To be speaking up about a topic that we might feel embarrassed about, or that on a initial impulse we want to hide from others offers amazing support to others to become equally open and self reflective. This is great service to others as it brings true and long lasting change.

343. Floris. Thank you. In sharing how it used to be with a group of men talking about women and how it always felt horrible, you have offered all men a new platform on which to stand. That being their own inner integrity, love and strength that can with genuineness and tenderness halt a conversation of disregard and disrespect, with authority, no matter the subject.

344. And by reflection your vulnerability and tenderness presents women & men with the grace to let go of their own guards and expectations and just be who they are – this is the magic of friendship.

345. Floris you show we can get our reflections from the most unexpected places, how lovely to spend time away with a group of men and come away getting a more honest sense of how you have been relating yourself to women. “This experience made me appreciate how far I have come in terms of how I now relate to women and how I used to relate to them.Women (in my experience, at least), have often been a favourite topic to talk about or comment on. These talks or comments in the past were usually about looks and/or were often sexually related.” I feel many men when they get together in groups often talk about women as you had done before, so it is great that you have outed this and brought an appreciation to how much you have changed and opened up to a more loving way of expressing and appreciating women.

346. Being and bringing the love that we as men are and have been protecting needs to be done. Now the time to release our love from the tower we have imprisoned it for decades and aeons. It is so freeing to let the jeanie out of the bottle. Our fragility is our strength; we just need to express it fully to all we meet.

347. Floris, your openness and honesty is such a refreshing thing to feel in your writing. I love what you have shared in regards to the age old hidden (or not always so hidden) battle between Men and Women. There is much in-equality around on many levels, but much of that is also fed by our own choices to take sides, to fight for equality, to have a difference between men and women that is not celebrated in its own delicate ways. This dis-harmony actually fuels the gap between men and women, and drives it deeper and wider. It is only when we surrender more deeply to who we are that we get to realise that there actually is no difference between us as men or women, that on the inside we all all the same tender and delicate beings that deserve to be treated as such, equally so.

348. The opportunities presented by your willingness to be honest about your underlying attitude towards women are incredible, and it is inspiring to hear you taking these opportunities with both hands and moving on. The conversation you have started represents a seismic shift in the way we perceive gender.

349. Wow, it’s truly wonderfull to read a man expressing his vulnerability, as it is indeed anyone who can express so beautifully their fragility and tenderness. Thank-you for sharing so honestly and openly Floris, you are paving the way for us all to be inspired to let down those invisible barriers that prevent us from truly connecting with each other.

350. Not only does your blog initiate a loving way for relationships between a man and woman, it also shows us women of how actually deeply tender and gentle-men are. The quality of tenderness of which you express shares the natural expression of all men, thank you for sharing.

351. This is such an important journey, thank you for sharing it. This inequality is held by all of us in many ways. It is up to us all to really feel how we have been carrying this and fuelling it. How did we buy into it? How did we leave things the same to feel comfortable? I know I have been angry about being shut down and not being valued as myself yet for so long I have been hiding and protecting myself being safe in my individualism and not sharing what I know to be true. This is a journey we are on together and sharing this is so loving.

352. It never ceases to amaze me how we as humans put on one face – sometimes many – for the world, but inside us it’s a very different story. The game of pretend that we often play, pretending that we’re ok when inside we are feeling, sad, angry, fragile etc etc. is a game that is very exhausting and possibly leading us to illness and disease if not checked. But if we are unable to be honest with ourselves how can we possibly be honest with others? Your honesty Floris is so refreshing, and your vulnerability and fragility so beautifully expressed.

353. “We, as men, adore women – we’ve simply forgotten how to be with that fragility” – very melting Floris, and very confirming to read this as a woman honouring that fragility too.

354. Floris these words ‘I remember how I really needed to choose honesty and make the choice to deeply connect to my body’ should be written in the sky in such a way that the entire world can read them, because millions of people would then take an evolutionary leap by choosing to implement them. It is with this powerful combination of honesty and connection that we are able to dig ourselves out of the very deep, dark hole that we have dug ourselves into.

355. ‘We, as men, adore women – we’ve simply forgotten how to be with that fragility.’ How beautiful to express that appreciation, because so many women feel belittled by the men in their lives they cannot feel the love that is there.

356. I see this sharing as a great step forward in connecting in equality and with respect and love between men and women, Floris. I applaud your sharing, and especially love your courage to speak your truth with other men, who through your openness learn to love and respect themselves and women also.

357. Thanks, Floris. I love how you consider the potential impact of behaviours and choices on the next generation of young women, which shows that you are truly opening up your heart to humanity and accepting the responsibility we each have.

358. I relate to so much of what you have shared Floris, and holding back my expression “By being silent, I’m allowing the inequality between men and women in everyday society and making my life about me, not about all of us and everything around us”. My life has also changed so much since I started down the path of being “honest” to the best of my ability. Life still has its ups and downs but all in all the rhythm and flow I now have allows me to be open to healing. Like you, “I’m learning to let true love and appreciation in, surrendering and deepening the acceptance that I am indeed a precious and loving being myself”. Having the understanding of how my life is my responsibility and that the choices I make affect not only me but also those around me, has been monumental in me developing a true relationship with healing.

359. Reading the blog, all the comments and feeling everything that is so beautifully shared makes me humble, proud and very aware that there’s a lot to be done. For me personally I can feel how the need for recognition is changing into responsibility for the all. Whenever somebody is expressing something, there’s something to connect to. Making whatever people say about ourselves is actually contracting away from what I otherwise could feel and read. Thank you everybody reading and commenting on this blog. It is growing me (again) in my relationship to myself, women and men.

360. Beautiful how you have built a deep relationship with yourself by trusting and appreciating your own qualities and then you were able to appreciate this is in others, both women and men. You are an inspiration Floris, going to a deeper level of dismantling layers of protection to reveal what is possible, true and loving connection in your all relationships.

361. Floris thank you so much for writing so beautifully from your heart, your tenderness, honesty and love can be felt and very much appreciated.

362. I admire your honesty Floris and what you have shared in how men talk about women is something accepted as normality in our world today. As a woman hearing these comments sometimes publicly, and most of the time indirectly but feeling all of how men look at women in general has also deepened my responsibility to stay true to myself, letting men in with deep understanding, not hold back in expressing in fullness, but without being affected by what does not feel loving or true. I have the deepest appreciation and respect for men, as together we are truly the best partners to evolve, whether it is with one person, a culture or gender.

363. Hi Floris I think you answer your own question . . . .“Why is it so hard to admit to ourselves, and each other, how much we care for and love each other?” . . . When we are avoiding the fact that we are love and instead playing the ‘I am an individual card’ we also have to avoid how much we care for and love each other, or how else can we compete, objectify, judge and declare ourselves better that another?

364. What you have shared Floris is an amazing unfoldment for all men, it is so beautiful and from now on there is a seed planted for all men to have this reflection that you offer. Men and women impact each other so much and the relationship between men and women reflect on the relationship we have with ourselves and as a gender. There is nothing we can change of the opposite sex, but there is always a deepening of responsibility we can live with ourselves. Whether we are in a relationship with an intimate partner or not, in essence we can live a relationship with the entire female and male gender by deepening the relationship with ourselves. Every particle within me knows the equality and the harmony between the male and female gender, this is the truth we can walk our every step to express, it needs a lot of patience but that is the direction back to what the body knows is truth.

365. Thanks for sharing Floris, it is amazing how much we deeply love and care for other yet hold back from expressing it.

366. ‘By being silent, I’m allowing the inequality between men and women in everyday society and making my life about me, not about all of us and everything around us.’ – by holding back at all, we are causing inequality as in choosing not to share what we know to be true, we are not treating the other person as an equal, we have already made a judgment that they can’t handle the truth, or that they may react and we can’t handle the rejection.

367. ‘how much I express what I truly feel and how much I hold back. A beautiful journey within a journey’, love what you’re saying here, Floris. Our expression is certainly an ever expanding journey, within our journey in life. I am noticing more and more, there is quite a difference in my expression here, in writing, versus when I am with my family or at work. Holding back comes at quite a price, I have been experiencing frustration and sometimes even fury as I just can’t live like this anymore. It makes no sense is as it holds everyone back and sends mixed messages, which must be pretty confusing for those around me.

368. I often ask myself the same question Floris ‘ Why is it so hard to admit to ourselves, and each other, how much we care for and love each other?’. It’s like we are so terrified of being vulnerable. But when I think about it, what could possibly go wrong with that?

369. This is a great question to ask ourselves – “Why is it so hard to admit to ourselves, and each other, how much we care for and love each other?”. It exposes how much protection we hold and how many hurts we hold in our bodies.

370. Thank you for sharing this Floris. Being honest with ourselves reveals all the false layers of protection which can show up in our relationships with each other ….. as men and as women. I appreciate the intimate and delicate way you write. Appreciating that men and women are truly equal in essence although expressing through different bodies is something to celebrate, for we so need the reflections of each of our qualities.

371. The 8 realisations are very powerful Floris and very healing. I realise reading this blog that I have always felt what is being so honestly shared here and this is deeply confirming. When I was younger it was too painful to feel so I shut down and pretended the energy did not come at me, I would shrink and try to hide. There are many men now like yourself Floris who are bringing all of the sensitivity, vulnerability and gentleness to their relationship with women and we are deeply appreciating this – these men are changing the old patterns and behaviours by modeling a different way for others to observe. Thank you Floris for sharing your experience it is deeply appreciated.

372. Superb expression Floris, you are an inspiration to all men in how open you have been, you are so right, all anyone wants and needs is love and to care and be cared for and the only way for this to truly happen is if we all drop the guards and let each other in.

     1. And as we step up to this (letting our guards down) we may tremble; then we support and inspire one another as when I tremble someone is always there to hold me simply with their willingness to keep deconstructing the protection that keeps us apart.

373. better than or less than, there is a game afoot in many realms that has some sections of the community convinced that they are better or less than or treating others this way. The gender gap is one such divide that only exists to avoid how much we actually love and appreciate what the being en-housed by a gender defined body brings.

374. Love your sharing and your honesty Floris. Expressing how we feel is surely a win win for everyone. As Serge Benhayon has said “Expression is everything.”

375. What a precious sharing this is Floris, and no wonder your friends welcomed you back with open arms, for you bring a warmth and deep care for everyone that cuts across prejudice and eliminates apathy from every man. I love the vulnerable way you present that it is this Love and care we all deeply crave – beautiful that you and others here too are willing to ‘go there’ and no longer hide.

376. Floris the depth of intimacy and honesty on this topic is inspiring.

377. Beautiful Floris – I get every cell of you come through this blog. Even if I hadn’t met you I could now say “I know Floris”.

378. A beautiful sharing Floris. To not allow ourselves to connect with each other in this way is to miss so many potential opportunities for relationships of all kinds, whether that is just as friends, partners of even business colleagues. What I have alos learnt is that the more open I am as woman, the more I allow men to open up themselves, and then I feel more connection with them and can open up more, and so it goes on. So why would we want to hold that back, when what is truly available is so gorgeous?

379. I love the honesty with which you share Floris and your deep appreciation of the relationships with both men and women. It is beautiful when men express in their tenderness and fragility as you do here and it would have been amazing for your friends to feel your gorgeous presence on your weekend together.

380. This is beautiful Floris, thank you sharing the tender man you are and the honesty of your journey with this, for all to read and feel. This is a gem of a blog.

381. I love Floris how you have connected to the depth and grace that women have and have let go of those false beliefs that many men have around women. This has only been possible because you have been willing to develop a greater loving relationship with yourself. As a result everyone wins!

382. It’s crazy – why do we not express to people or ourselves how much we love them? Why do we hold back? It only hurts us – and says to everyone else don’t open up, do not express how we really feel and hold back too, exhausting stuff if you ask me. Life would be so much more simple, joyful and clear if we allowed ourselves to express how we really feel about people and allow ourselves to be.

383. I love this blog – such equality and appreciation of both men and women and an offering for us to each honour our tenderness, fragility and worth.

384. Great sharing Floris. When we truly connect to another there can only be total equality, all else is us avoiding connecting wanting instead to hold onto an idea of our self, an identity, our gender and therefore our individuality.

385. ‘Why is it so hard to admit to ourselves, and each other, how much we care for and love each other?’ What a great question Floris! For me an answer involves connecting with my own fragility and fear of rejection when I also know that honestly stating my feelings for another is not about their response, but holding true to my truth. Thank you again for writing this piece Floris.

386. Floris you are pioneering a whole new era of relationships between men and women, who doesn’t want what you’re sharing.

387. This is a gorgeous blog to read. As a woman I feel held and respected, which really shows the power of being honest with ourselves and the profound healing this can lead us to. Thank you Floris

388. “I’m in awe with people and the communication and relationships between them – which to me is true religion and science.” – wow Floris, this is a gorgeous way to see relationships – religion and science – everything is connected.

389. Your tenderness and willingness to go to those depths beyond the hardened norms and attitudes are super sweet, and hugely appreciated. Thank you for sharing this with us Floris.

390. Floris your honesty melted my heart and shows that we are all equally precious and sharing this vulnerability with everyone is something the world needs to see more often. Thank so very much.

391. Thank you Floris for writing this great blog about such an important topic. We need to be having more conversations about this. So many men would agree with your feelings and observations here, but feel constrained by our warped, so called, ‘codes of conduct’ which we all sign up to as men from very young, even though deep down we know they are not loving and in fact are disrespectful to women and men. We do this of course out of protection and because we crave the same love and respect, but are terrified we will not get it. Crazy stuff when you really stop to think about it, so it is awesome that as a man you have had the courage and the wisdom to speak out about this topic.

392. Indeed when we stay silent and go along with group behaviour or ‘banter’ without feeling for ourselves whether what’s been said or done is true, we are still promoting the activity and aren’t reflecting that there may be a different way to do things.

     1. Thank you for flagging up how labeling things as ‘banter’ is our current way of staying in the collusion of dishonesty.

393. Floris, thank you for your open sharing. It is beautiful to hear your journey back to the connection with your fellow mates and how beautiful you are opening to connecting to the tenderness and expressing your truth by not holding back.

394. “It’s so wondrous that the more I care for and love myself, the more I’m able to drop my self-protective stance and let women (and men) in.” This seems like a total paradox but makes complete sense. So often we look outside of ourselves for the love that we seek, but actually we are much more able to receive love from others when we are already loving ourselves and therefore able to be more open to it.

395. Floris if men all related to women from the depth of natural tenderness and fragility that all men hold, something that I had somehow forgotten but was my natural way as a child, then society would be a completely different place. So too would the relationships between men and other men, we are certainly missing out at the moment!

396. The more we appreciate our innate tenderness and sacredness, the more it becomes a lived reality that there is no difference of gender in our innermost.

397. “We, as men, adore women – we’ve simply forgotten how to be with that fragility” – this line reminded me of how children play together without the barriers of what it means to be a women or a man (boy or girl).

398. Thank you Floris, I am sure when more men hear and feel the quality of what is expressed in this blog they too will connect with their true feelings and as a woman I can see how we have equally played a game and chosen and allowed many of our behaviours for men to then behave and feel as they do.

399. I love it that you claim yourself at the foot of your blog here Floris – especially as a Son of God. Well said, for that is true of us all.

400. To me this blog reveals a not so fun game we all play. The fierce protection of our individuality and ‘specialiness’ – whilst in our hearts we long for that deep connection with others. We live is such contradiction apparently seeking that connection and negating it at the same time. We can’t have it both ways. Great to call this out Floris – thank you.

401. ‘By being silent, I’m allowing the inequality between men and women in everyday society and making my life about me, not about all of us and everything around us.’ This is inspiring to share what we feel as men in our tenderness and in equality with everyone against the patterns of bahviour which have become the norm across our societies.

402. Yes thank Floris, it’s beautiful to hear a man express in this way and to acknowledge all that you have. Being prepared to be vulnerable and open yourself up to these deeper connections and relationships is clearly very beneficial, for everyone involved. Lovely to strip back relationships to something that feels natural and without hooks or dynamics… just the purity of two people meeting with open hearts.

403. The belief that men are better than women is an entrenched one, but perhaps this belief has flourished because women have let it be this way? Rather than fighting it in a militant way perhaps women have forgotten how to express from their innateness and sacredness and denied men the opportunity to feel the truth of who we are? By coming back to our truth as women and living it will enable true equality to exist between men and women…each gender being able to deeply appreciate the expression of the other.

404. Floris your frank and honest sharing has stirred a very deep ache inside my body. Oh how desperately we all want the same things.

405. Men and women alike have wandered so far from who they are, that who they are, no longer bears any resemblance to the truth.

406. Oh Floris your sharing is unimaginably beautiful. You have shared from the untouched essence of a true man and it is deeply felt in the untouched essence of a true woman.

407. Thank you, Floris, for sharing so openly the true nature of men, which in general we have learnt, and chosen, to hide behind the veil of ‘masculinity’ in all its different guises out of fear of being hurt. However, the veil does not protect but only deepens the hurt. It is only when we return to our true nature, our tenderness, can we be true, honest and resolve any hurts as they arise and thereby require no shields.

408. Thank you for your honesty Floris, I don’t think you are alone in feeling ‘better than’ or superior to women, it is deeply ingrained in humanity. We have throughout society fed this ‘better than’ mentality in young boys by the pictures we have created as they grow up that they are stronger, they are the providers, the decision makers, they don’t cry, they have the answers etc, without honouring and bringing awareness to their own sensitivity and tenderness. Without feeling it for themselves then they are not going to be aware of these qualities in women. The truth is that women have lost their own sense of fragility and tenderness too, so we allow unwanted and unacceptable behaviours from men and allow this ‘better than’ to continue.

409. Floris for most of my life I have held the belief that men are better than women. I now know this not to be true because we are both equal.

410. This is a very brave sharing Floris, thank you so much. I have never heard a man really share what is discussed when in the company of other men. When we are able to put aside the surface judgments that we hold on the opposite gender, we will discover a whole new beautiful realm of relationships waiting to be embraced. I have had the grace to see people first, gender second and I am so very appreciative of this ability. When we pigeon hole people for what ever reason or characteristic, we deny our selves the most incredible possibilities of creating and enjoying some awesome friendships, whether they be platonic or romantic. The answer here clearly is “never judge a book by its gender”!

411. I have recently been learning how as women we play into this. It is a two-way street and as women when we honour ourselves we then allow the space for men to be more honouring of us. This is something I am still learning about and seeing the full impact of.

412. wow Floris, if we all brought as much honesty and commitment to exposing the hidden ideals and beliefs that we run with and live by every moment of the day, and the harm they cause to ourselves and others, the world would turn upside down! and so much unintentional harm, so many dynamics and dramas and conflict would simply not happen. This is how we could all live together and when all the impositions of such ideals and false perceptions are finally discarded, we will learn together once more who we truly are .

413. Actually this morning I had a conversation with a man and I noticed that I also had believes systems of being better as a man, like more willing to be open for love …and I can feel that there has been a momentum of wanting the men to love me, to provide me as it was my natural right, but not coming from the true equalness of deeply appreciating and allowing and recognizing the tenderness in men and let them be.
     So within my own unfolding path- I can relate to your words, to the sweetness of being fragile, letting the walls down and allowing myself to feel how much I love, care and adore and that it is my natural essence.
     And how beautiful it is when we meet each other- no matter if it is a man or a woman.

414. Floris I love your honesty. It is so wonderful that you as a man so openly showing your preciousness and vulnerability! With that you invite other men to do so as well and not to stay in their caves.

415. For me it is important to understand that in essence we are all the same and that it is our physical body of expression that gives the unique flavour to our lives. Whether this flavour is a male body or a female body fact is that it is a way of expressing life that is there to be celebrated for the part it brings of the whole we all belong to.

416. The sharing, Floris, is so powerful. I can feel it is true, you are living what you are sharing here and this is a blessing to hear and feel that we all are able to love ourselves to the bones and this gives the foundation to love other people as well.

417. Men need to hear more men speaking openly and honestly about the love they feel for themselves and also the love they feel for women. Thank you Floris for publishing something that adds to our more natural way of being with each other.

418. How convenient it can be for a man to see a woman ‘sexually’ only, or for a woman to see a man in the same light… We are so much more, and our hearts are capable of letting each other in and truly appreciating each other as the ‘so much more’ that we all are.
     And yet, our societies and cultures are full of such objectification and views – obscuring us from the true light within each and every one of us.
     In my humble experience, it has only been through connecting deeply to this true ‘esoteric light’ (the essence of who we are) that gender assumptions, biases and skewed viewpoints can drop away. If we truly connect with the essence, then it is this that is by far the stand-out, informing all of our relationships, with those of both genders. And our own expression through gender indeed changes – as we honour ourselves from the essence first, and then embrace all that this can be through the form of male, or female, as it would be.
     ‘Gender’ then becomes a celebration, and not a factor which separates or divides…

419. It is a true marker of inner-strength to be able to drop walls and be fragile with one another – most particularly I would say as a man, for the world predominantly asks if not demands that you NOT do so, that you remain ‘tough’, guarded and somewhat aloof…
     And so it’s deeply beautiful to read your sharing here Floris. For as we drop the walls, we cannot but realise that we are all the same.

420. When we become aware of how much love we are, the urge to share it becomes very strong. The nice thing is that we don’t have to do anything. Just entering a room is enough, our presence is enough, actually much more than that.

421. Floris your very beautiful blog really highlights how men and women can naturally have very intimate and deep relationships with one another. As a woman it raises questions for me too. Am I allowing men to see my vulnerabilities or am I keeping a distance? I know that there is more trust that I need to open and develop here, and I feel very supported by the fact that there are men like yourself that are willing to go there. For really this is something that men and women need to be working on together.

422. I’ve loved reading this. Such openness and honesty is really beautiful. It’s so lovely to appreciate that when we put down the guards and the protection, we’re left with a fragility that’s pure divinity; a love that connects us and allows us to appreciate the qualities we bring as men and as women together, for one another with no need to hold back our loveliness. I can find this challenging at times but then I remember that hiding my fragility only confirms and adds to the guarded, often toxic, relationship that usually exists between the sexes. I know this is not who we are and I also know that there are many more layers of protection to be let go of.

423. Really love and enjoyed your post Floris, its raw honesty is dissolving and inviting especially this line: “…when my belief that I was ‘better’ than women was exposed…” and then all the realisations that followed this. When we expose, we open — to such great insight, and in this evolve to stop the complicit way of status quo or sustainment in this case inequality or supremacy of the sexes. Brilliant.

424. Why is it so hard to admit to ourselves, and each other, how much we care for and love each other? This is a great question to be asking Floris, and from my observations with myself, when I have placed the person into a box or a category of co-worker, brother, son, father, girlfriend, daughter and so on and so within that box, are a set of ideals or beliefs of how I need to be when I am with them. This confines the relationship and then your not truly seeing them for who they are, and you also are playing a role with them so they don’t get to see the real you either. When you can meet another like you are meeting them for the first time, raw and with nothing brought in between you, that’s when you can truly connect and meet them as absolute equals, and feel the absolute enjoyment of truly connecting, essence with essence.

425. “Why is it so hard to admit to ourselves, and each other, how much we care for and love each other?” This is a good question to ponder, Floris. Sometimes we only do this when someone is on their death bed. We might even have long periods of not speaking to siblings who we spent many a loving moment with, even though there might have been fights and jealousies and competition for the parent’s love. We are all longing to be loved and deeply met and yet we do such perverse behaviours to avoid just that.

426. It’s lovely Floris that you are allowing your tenderness to express, and what I see with the men around me is that, as they express their tenderness they give other men permission to do so too for really we are all deeply sensitive and delicate beings underneath our tough exterior which has only been created because we feel too vulnerable if we don’t have that shield. Once tenderness becomes the norm there will be no need for the protection.

427. I believe you are correct Floris, men do adore women, and the hardest thing is to let ourselves be fragile and exposing that we are not all about toughness and hardness and coping. Men benefit enormously from the tenderness that women can innately show. I for one appreciate the women in my life that support me to show my fragility and express my own gentle nature.

428. Hi Floris, what you have unfolded within yourself and been open to feeling is providing an amazing platform for you to allow other men to begin to share. As a man living in true connection and seeing deeply the sacredness of women, you have much to offer your friends and broader community. Thank you for opening up and bringing this experience into the written word for us all.

429. Your comment about being silent is important Floris. There is so much in our world we remain silent about, yet where we are at is due in large part to exactly that – remaining silent about the inequities we see. This is not to say we go rushing about embracing a multitude of causes (although some of us will be able to speak out very effectively in public) but more so by doing what is suggested here: speaking what we know to be true to the people we encounter in our daily lives… sowing new seeds for consideration.

430. This is a beautiful, tender expression from a man who has chosen to stop hiding behind the facade of ‘masculinity’ and learn what it truly means to be a man. Your openness is felt so deeply through your words, Floris.

431. Beautiful to feel the tenderness in your words Floris. A man in his tenderness melts even the hardest of hearts.

     1. So true Lucy, he does indeed.

432. Beautiful sharing Floris, we all deeply care for others but often we do not want to admit it yet in doing so we all loose out and there is a responsibility here we all carry to share the love we are and feel, after all how does the world become more loving if we do not express love?

     1. I agree, we can start at any time. Even today.

        1. Yes I agree Christoph Schnelle and it begins for both men and women as both learn and benefit from this sharing.

433. What a gorgeous and honest blog Floris, I loved reading every word and feeling the preciousness that is and can be in our relationships with everyone. We don’t have to hide and stay on our own, not letting love in. While we are deeply wanting to be loved and be cared for.

434. It’s really awesome that you can share your appreciation of the people in your life without holding back or filtering what you want to say based on the ideals around how men ‘should’ be around and talk about women or other men. It’s true that we can learn so much from the people around us who constellate into our lives, through both sharing our feelings, observations and experiences and listening to others share their perspective on life.

435. Reading this feels like you write on behalf of men. I’m sure we are all very appreciative of your loving awareness to deepen the quality of your relationships, way beyond what we can considered a level of familiar exchange, which don’t support us knowing a person in their essence.

436. What a brilliant exposure of the consciousness that drives us to think our connection to our inner-most delicateness is a weakness. Floris it is so true that we’ve simply forgotten how to be with our fragility, as you have stated. Through our choices to separate from our connection to our love we have created a society that deems fragility as a weakness, a lesser state of being and as such we behave in ways that are abusive to ourselves and each other, accepting this as normal. Yet our fragility is a marker of the delicateness we all are in essence, and the delicateness of this Love is a quality we all crave to be met with and live from, as this is who we truly are.

437. It is absolutely gorgeous to feel a man expressing in his tenderness, vulnerability and complete honouring of women. I agree, why do we hide how much we all adore each other? Why do we pretend like we don’t care or that we can do it alone when we are so pulled to be part of everyone else?

438. It is beautiful that you have come to a place where you have surrendered to and now embrace your preciousness and vulnerability and are willing and open to sharing that with others… what a blessing for all who meet you and get to experience what is possible in relationships.

439. What’s really great about this blog is the honesty of where men are at in their perceptions of and relationships to women, and how this is something you have recognised in yourself and been able to let go of, and choose something that is now based on love. It’s a great insight for me to see the beliefs men hold and how society endorses this in many ways including in the media, but particularly other men. We as women also need to say “No’ to this and ask men to step up and return to being loving and true, and men can certainly do this with other men.

440. As I re-read this blog I am struck by the fact that it could have just about been written by a woman about women. What beliefs and attitudes do we hold about ourselves?

441. “and I am, at times, confronted with a lot of distrust within myself”. I was confronted with my own yesterday, and it was indeed confronting. But oh so powerful to see that it exists within yourself and to see how that feels in your body. And it does feel confronting when you allow yourself to connect to the fact that we deeply crave love, care and connection. Great sharing thank you Floris.

442. Thank you Floris for sharing your unfolding return to you, then naturally your relationships with others, particularly women. Feeling how you are allowing your fragility and vulnerability is inspiring 🙂

443. I think it’s so cool that you are writing about this subject, as a woman I have always felt what goes on between men when they are in groups. To discuss so openly what you feel and where you have gotten to with how you now talk and treat woman is inspiring but it also has absolutely no judgment, which is very rare. No judgment towards yourself or others that may still engage in treating woman differently to the mark you have made, just feels like you are sharing of your personal growth, thank you.

444. Floris this is so relevant to men and women, we have been holding each other to ransom, thinking we are male and female, and trying to outwit and judge the other sex. The honouring of each other is the balance that is missing, men appreciating the qualities they bring and women honouring their role, a very powerful combination when we hold and accept our differences as gift we offer each other.

445. How many men also believe they are ‘better’ than women? It’s so wonderful that you are starting to bring what you feel and who you are to your group of friends Floris, and perhaps even get them (and others) examining their own ingrained beliefs about women. Thank you for your immense honesty.

446. What speaks to me in this blog, is about the freedom to be ourselves. To care, to love, to express, without fear or reservation. Just to be who we are and to appreciate it in eachother and in ourselves.

447. You know, I have never met you Floris but I feel loved by the warmth in your words, by you. Thank you for expressing as you have.

448. How men excuse much of their chauvinism as ‘locker room talk’ shows how deeply engrained the beliefs and banter are, even if putting on the ‘correct behaviour’ in front of women. I can share about this having unravelled this in myself and knowing how any little opening can mean dishonouring a woman -it could be a look, a fleeting image or a tone of voice – and then contributing to the ongoing inequality for the next generation. What you are sharing here Floris of the other side, the deep appreciation we do truly hold for women, is super important to help clear this horrible illusion we men are held in.

449. Very beautiful to read Floris. It is great to hear a man speak up about how men often speak about women, as objects and not as equal human beings that are to be respected and adored as you saids so beautifully: “We, as men, adore women – we’ve simply forgotten how to be with that fragility.”

450. I was really touched by this piece, this is the treatment and cure to all troubled violent and disharmonious relationships for us all – no matter what gender or age. Thank you so much Floris for your courage and love of yourself and people to be able to express all this.

451. I understand this deepening of letting yourself be in relationship with others more intimately and lovingly. It is journey most worth taking ! Especially the giving more love to ourselves and others. I have found that others love us expressing the love we feel.

452. Being so honest with ourselves can be very painful and embarrassing. But it is far more painful to live with those ideals and beliefs that keep us separate.

453. Floris, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your blog. It is very rare that we get to hear from men about how they relate to women. Your honesty is so welcome and has touched me deeply. Thank you.

454. ‘If I don’t share what I’ve learned, I’m telling myself that Love isn’t important.’ So true Floris, and we can only share Love by being Love ourselves.

455. Beautiful, exquisite and honest blog Floris, thank you for sharing your journey, wisdom and fragility. It is absolutely gorgeous to read and I am deeply inspired by how you have expressed without reservation but in absolute truth and love. You are inspiring men and women to honour and love each other equally, and to be open to share with the world the beauty of who we really are.

456. In this life we may be in a female or male body but chances are it could have been the other way around in the last life and again in the next life. At the end of the day love and truth are not gender related and whilst our bodies may have differing expressions we are all one. If we have a conflict or disharmony with someone based on gender (or anything) we have the same conflict within.

457. I love your honesty Floris and what you share here so openly is very needed. There is so much in your blog I could comment on so I am sure I will revisit your blog. I was struck by one of your realisations; ‘By being silent, I’m allowing the inequality between men and women in everyday society and making my life about me, not about all of us and everything around us.’ I have been silent and frustrated at the same time for this inequality and the abuse I have tolerated in more than one life but now I know and feel I am as much responsible as any other. My responsibility is to live and express my precious and sacred nature as a woman and to connect to the essence of any man I meet.

458. Absolutely gorgeous Floris, I can feel how even expressing this and releasing these untruths from your body, is like removing the cap of a bottle top… your tenderness is now free to ooze out and reflect to the world how men truly are. Beautiful!

459. It is a gift to let go of the stance that we are alone and open our hearts to each other, to reach out for help and help each other, and in the end it is not really help anymore but just a way to be with each other. We do have a deep care for each other and we simply need to allow ourselves to express this.

460. A much needed blog, Floris, to talk about how we, both men and women relate to each other. Isn’t it peculiar how we think closing up and protecting ourselves leaves us less hurt than being open, vulnerable and fragile? If we could all feel and express appreciation for each other and our qualities, the world would be a better place. Thank you 🙂

461. This is similar to something I have been feeling over the last week. Not so much my relationship with women or men but what beliefs am I still holding onto in my body that are not true and do not serve me and also feeling just how much I hold back from loving others and letting them in.

462. Our male/ female relationships have strayed so far because we have lost our way in terms of living as the true men and women we are.

463. Yes this is true. The roles do not make any sense, along with all the ideals and beliefs that are cemented into the roles.

464. Wow, wow, wow Floris. Thank you for writing this blog. It has to be one of the most tender, deeply honest and vulnerable sharings I have read. I could absolutely feel the truth of your sharing, learning and Livingness behind the words you wrote.

465. Intimately knowing ourselves and getting a sense of who we have been falsely made to be reveals our attitudes and notions that are often false and yet deep seated not just in this generation but those of years and years before. Floris accepting the responsibility to open up and see ever more clearly our current state of play is inspirational, thank you.

466. Thank you Floris, for sharing this unwavering truth with us all – being very honest and open about all that needs to be expressed for us all to heal and continuous path to self-love.

467. This is awesome Floris – I really appreciate how you have let your guard down and it shows through this writing. You make some great points. ie ‘If I don’t share what I’ve learned, I’m telling myself that Love isn’t important.’ – This feels spot on – what an opportunity we have to reflect to others what we treasure within ourselves.

     1. It’s so great to read about a ‘never giving up on love’ story. As it is to read about the man who has chosen to not give up and share his story with such an open vulnerability.

468. Thanks Floris, lovely way to start expressing and appreciate the being and relationships that we all value

469. Exquisite blog Floris! Your honesty, vulnerability and tenderness is deeply felt in this blog and it is very enriching to feel how expressing in this way is far more powerful than going into any form of emotional reaction which is the norm for most.

     1. Totally agree Josh. And exquisite is the perfect word to describe this blog and the way Floris has shared the gold he experienced.

470. It takes a lot as a man to look with honesty at how he views women down to the level of detail you have described.

     1. ‘a real and true man’

     2. Hear, hear Adam. I am blown away by Floris’ honesty and willingness to share with this level of detail, openness and vulnerability. It exposes the inequality we live with and have often accepted as normal in our society. He shows us that we have a choice to speak up about what does not feel true, loving or honouring of ourselves and each other, therefore inspiring others to do the same.

471. Thank you Ariana, it’s an absolute honour to know you too and be aware of us living more and more of the Gorgeousness we are. How lovely and playful is it to be truly open, fragile and playful with each other. This feels most delicate!

472. Floris, I really admire the responsibility and purpose behind your sharing with us as I can see how such a learning is for everyone, reminding me of the importance of working together in this world.

473. “Why is it so hard to admit to ourselves, and each other, how much we care for and love each other?” This is very true, why do we not tell, express to people how much we love them, it may not be in words, it can be in how we live, our thoughts, movements and gestures. People freak out when they hear or see the word love. It has come loaded with a package to make it some sort of huge emotional, individual, oh my God, boyfriend, girlfriend thing instead of the true magical, beholding and power that true love is, equally for all. I remember someone sharing with me after a presentation I was at, where I felt absolute love, pure love, for a person i was sitting next to, a girl, whom I never met before, “how can you love her, what do you mean you love her’. This was not a sexual thing, nor did I want to be with her as in a partner, what I felt was love in it’s purest and truest meaning, a love for all, like I really love this person, for who they are, no emotion at all. I had never felt this before, so don’t get me wrong I probably would have said the same thing.

474. The belief that some hold that men are better than women, as ridiculous as it is, is centuries – and lifetimes – old and tells you so much about the person holding onto that belief. It’s awesome you address the topic head on, Floris, and share what you feel about it. You are not alone in your past experiences nor how you feel about it today.

475. Thank you Floris.. I love how you’ve opened up here and shared all of you without holding back. We as women also have a responsibility to allow ourselves to be fragile, tender, vulnerable – for if we’re not able to treat ourselves lovingly, then it’s impossible to accept this from someone else. The more we love and care for ourselves, develop a trust and a consistently loving relationship with our bodies, the easier it becomes to accept our fragility and vulnerability, and accept being this way with others.

476. This is a great question-“Why is it so hard to admit to ourselves, and each other, how much we care for and love each other?” Given it is so natural for us to love and care for each other imagine the enormous energy we use holding that love back. It is no wonder that the rate of illness and disease is huge.

477. Loved how you mentioned that you met and shared all you have learned, it feels like the ultimate level of transparency, as we grow and evolve so to does that help others, and holding back simply stunts us all.

478. How beautiful Floris! I know one of the things we humans crave is deeply connected relationships, we can settle for surface-level satisfaction for a while but inevitably we crave to just be ourselves and share all that we are, without a doubt or reservation.

479. Thank you, Floris, for sharing with honesty and transparency. It is joyful to feel the potential that is there between us all for true connection and loving relationships, once we open up in this way.

480. ‘Why is it so hard to admit to ourselves, and each other, how much we care for and love each other?’ … I have recently been asking myself this exact question, Floris. Why is it so hard to freely express the love that is held in my heart? I can blame it on past hurts, but it’s then my choice to heal them and let go of the protection I’ve been hiding behind. What am I waiting for? I have to let love out to let love in.

     1. This is a great question, we resist living the most natural part of ourselves – love.

481. My heart melt as I read your exquisite blog, Floris. As a woman, there is nothing that touches me more than feeling the tenderness from a man honouring me as the woman I am. Thank you for all that you have shared, especially, being the gorgeous man that you are.

482. So lovely to read your honest appraisal of speaking up and out on behalf of women with your men friends, Floris – inspiring, actually!

483. A beautiful and honouring sharing – of yourself, of women and on behalf of men.
     It is truly inspiring to realise the depth of connection that is forever available to us by truly honouring our true impulses, fragility and dearness in the knowing and beholding of the absolute equality of us all.

484. Recently, I have reconnected to my High School classmates. I have not heard from them in the last 36 years. This re-connection has also helped me to feel into where I was and where I am regarding my relationship and true appreciation for women. It is beautiful to feel how far I have come and the fact that I am willing to lovingly express what I feel is true, even if this goes totally against the waves.

485. ‘Why is it so hard to admit to ourselves, and each other, how much we care for and love each other?’ – Great point Floris, it is very common to cover up the love we feel for each other and from my own experience I would say it has to do with fear of being rejected and we fool ourselves to think it will hurt less if no one else knows how we feel.

486. Floors, what a great topic to share your story on, growing up at school after the age of 8 or 9 women were seen as objects, the equality seemed to be lost and the grace and beauty ignored. The relationship got very out of balance, in the years that then passed this relationship got even more out of sync and it was about what the women could do for the man the sexual stuff, the cooking etc.. Yet in truth as a deeply tender man this also hurt me, I never partook in “pub talk” with friends about women in that way as I could not let myself express that, yet in many ways I treated women just the same. Today my relationship with women is very different and that is indeed something to deeply appreciate.

487. Floris, I absolutely love this blog. I realise too as a woman how I have played ball with men in also subscribing to the belief that women are lesser and so contributing to the way things are currently between men and women. What you are sharing here is so honest and so heart felt that it is very compelling reading. I have also deeply missed platonic relationships with men in my life because of this separation, but how joyful to be re-imprinting all of this and to begin to come out of the consciousness that we have subscribed to.

488. Point 8 got me to stop and consider the fact that yes, having a loving relationship with the opposite sex, or even the same sex without sexual hooks is very possible! I have experienced this and felt it but never really stopped to appreciate or claim such is possible. This gives me a point to reflect on in that, how much more loving can I be but at the same time make it clear that my love is not solely in seeking of sexual attention? because I feel that the lack of claiming and setting these standards has stopped me opening up even more. Thank you Floris.

489. I had a similar experience recently where I connected with old friends, I was absolutely welcomed with open arms and although I was making very different choices there was no issue. In fact what happened was an opportunity for honesty and deep reflection as these friends I have known for many years were able to reflect to me many of the poor choices I had made over the years and show me they were there to support me to change.

490. Beautiful to read Floris. It’s a journey I can relate to. I meet every year with a group of male friends from university. It used to be just men and we were quite arrogant and drank too much. But then one day we decided to invite our wives and partners and that’s how it now works – and it’s a lot more fun. Which reminds me I should be with them this week end but chose a Universal Medicine Esoteric Healing Course instead.

491. A beautiful blog Floris. As men we have so much to appreciate and learn from being held in love from women. Feeling the still and nurturing quality can provide such a deep support to us in our own journey back through our past choices.

492. ‘However, what I’m craving most is to be met, loved and cared for’, is this not what we as humans all long for? What I am learning is first I have to meet, care and love myself, which is a work in progress, and the more this deepens, it becomes easier to meet others without any needs or investments.

493. What a beautiful honouring blog Floris…”We, as men, adore women – we’ve simply forgotten how to be with that fragility.” By reconnecting to that fragility in yourself and writing about it you inspire many men (and women) to do the same. I can honestly say that you are one of the most tender and open men I know and what a blessing for all this is.

494. Your blog Floris reminds me how much responsibility we have as women to live from our preciousness without compromise to allow men the space to live from their own preciousness too.

495. “It’s so wondrous that the more I care for and love myself, the more I’m able to drop my self-protective stance and let women (and men) in.” This is beautiful Floris, what is very apparent from your blog is the immense understanding you are holding yourself with as you un-learn these layers of protection and re-learn to express from your innermost.

496. Great that you share so openly Floris and opening up the conversation about the relationship between women and men. To get a deeper understanding for each other implies a deeper understanding for ourselves as well. And understanding brings more harmony, what is really needed these days. Women hold the key to all our sacredness – interesting and worth studying why as a society we did not just allow but created the degradation of women as objects of sex. This has gone on through the ages and is not new…new is to have an honest look at our own behaviors and taking responsibility. Well done!

497. Thank you Floris for sharing and not keeping this wisdom to yourself, especially voicing that you thought you were better than a women – how many of us take on the beliefs and hold others as less.

498. This is beautiful Floris very inspiring and really shows how we can change and everything can change in our lives from this openness and building of true love in letting go of ideals beliefs and judgement.” By letting in women and their many different expressions of love, and by expressing my own love and affection, I have felt more honouring and appreciation than I have ever felt in my life before.”

499. Thank you, Floris, for putting this in words and making it accessible for us. It is deeply healing to read, healing hurts from childhood experiences with other boys and men, when so much protection was going on. Your transparency is like a fresh bath in spring.

500. Thank you for sharing your beautiful realisations Floris and the last one really resonated with me this morning ‘Or do I want to contribute to how warm, loving, intimate, equal, unfolding, joyful and loving the relationship between women and men can be – without any sexual hooks?’ Having spent so much of my life living in protection from all, and particularly from men, I am now allowing my vulnerability to be exposed and this opens up the possibility for deeper connections with everyone as I share myself without reservation.

501. And then you talk of the responsibility that we have toward the next generation. With sons and daughters I am very aware of this. I am by no means perfect but I can see that the way I am with myself and with my wife can show them so much. Of course – I am there role model – thus the way that I and my wife live and interact is paving the way for them. There is another part to this though which I am also opening up to more and more..and that is me watching them for inspiration and leadership. This is quite new to us as a family but we are all really loving it. That equality. They have taught me and my wife so, so much and by appreciating and expressing that to them, it utterly changes the dynamic of the family. More and more we are now all living our equal responsibility to each other and thus this ripples out to our wider family – humanity.

502. Floris I love the tender way in which you’ve let us into your world, and with such honesty. When we connect with the love that is deep within us we can relate to all men and women equally. But what you say is true, first we must acknowledge and clear any deep seated beliefs that become our protective shields and stop us from truly relating to others

503. Thank you Floris for opening up and sharing this – it’s really lovely to read about the way you have unfolded how you are with other women and men and re-connected with a deeper natural innate love, respect, care and equality for all.

504. Floris – you talk about how much we love women yet can’t handle that fragility. I really, really relate to this. To love anyone we have to be so transparent, open, fragile and tender and to love a woman asks that from us even more. What your blog is talking about and what you are feeling in to is so huge for all of us men and I applaud you for getting this out there. It is so vital and so needed. We are literally craving this and so, so much of the un-loving existence that men operate within is down to us not allowing this fragility to be seen and loved.

505. We talk about gender equality and like to think our offices and relationships are very smart, as we appear to have lost the derogatory gender talk of yesteryear. But what you blog makes super clear beautiful Floris is that today the way we view and talk about women as men, is still a big taboo, with so much more room there for us to explore and express from our heart. No wonder men’s health is in a terrible state when we don’t let ourselves share and talk with all the love we truly are.

506. Such a beautiful sharing Floris, a sharing from what I feel is a true man, gorgeous.

507. Floris, this is absolutely beautiful to read, this is a great question, ‘Why is it so hard to admit to ourselves, and each other, how much we care for and love each other?’. Reading this I can feel the immense love that I have for men and women. I can feel the barriers that there are between men and women; when children are young they play together with no separation – boys and girls playing together. As children get older I observe that at school the boys play together and the girls play together and I can feel how a seperation begins that was not there before and this carries on into adulthood with men and women seen as very different and not equal. Often these relationships are sexual rather than friendships and it almost seems unusual for men and women to have platonic relationships. Reading your article Floris I can feel how unnatural this seperation of men and women is for us all.

508. It feels really great that you have reconnected with old friends and can reflect to them how you have changed your thoughts and feelings, especially when honouring and deepening relationships with women. The potential is there for everyone in your group to feel how loving and respectful you have become, not only to women, but also to yourself.

509. ‘By being silent, I’m allowing the inequality between men and women in everyday society and making my life about me, not about all of us and everything around us.’ This is so true Floris. We must all use any opportunity we have to stand up for truth and call out inequality. I know I have been complicit in the past by staying quiet, or thinking it doesn’t affect me so why rock the boat. I am realizing that what happens to my fellow human beings does affect me on many levels.

510. Floris, thank you for sharing and not holding back. We have more in common with each other than differences, yet it’s the differences we tend to focus on. I feel I have missed out on having loving friendships with men because I too felt I, as a woman, was better than men. So many things that falsely keep us apart.

511. This is beautiful Floris… a reminder, a call, an inspiration to all of us to both feel that adoration we have forgotten, and express that for both men and women so they can be inspired in the same way you have inspired us.

512. Floris this blog is a beautiful living testimony to the deep changes you have made in your life. Exposing the arrogance and returning to be the tender and precious man you are.

513. Irrespective of what you have written (which, by the way is spectacular) the very fact that you have shared yourself with such fragility and tenderness is magnificent. Thank you Floris.

514. This is truly beautiful Floris, shared from a place of delicacy and fragility, yet such strength to be this honest and open. If we took away all our beliefs we hold against each other as men and women, we would feel how much we truly care and adore each other. We would feel that we are all equal in our love. It’s men like you who can share this honestly and many others that make it possible so we can build real and loving relationships with each other.

515. “We, as men, adore women – we’ve simply forgotten how to be with that fragility.” Yes, and this has arisen because we have first buried and forgotten how to be tender with ourselves.

516. Floris, thank you for a beautiful sharing the blossoming of a tender and precious man.

517. So beautifully expressed, Floris. As I read this I can feel my hesitancy to be totally open and loving to men and this has been with me a long time. I have always held back from fully expressing to men as the whole sex thing comes into play- are they going to think I’m coming onto them or something similar. It feels so good to express it here. Thank you, Floris for opening up this conversation.

518. To relate to a woman in love and truth that she is, is to live that same love and truth in your body.

519. Thank you, Floris. Your tenderness and deep honesty touches me. Dropping the guard and defensiveness, letting fragility be – whether you are a man or woman, this is very much needed I feel.

520. Its crazy when we pretend we are loners when we do crave love. Its that protection we build that results from our hurts that keeps us like that but as soon as we realise how tender and sensitive we really are as men that is when true equality will occur.

     1. Well said, Kev. We crave love because we are love first. When we love ourselves, the path is clear to love others, equally so.

521. This is a very beautiful sharing Floris – thank you.

522. This is amazing to read Floris, thank you for your deep honesty and for your willingness to deal with your issues towards women. This is a real game changer because we are facing a very entrenched culture of objectification of both women and men in our societies today. Re-claiming our fragility and innate desire for true intimacy is a huge step forward in showing the world that not only are we equal, but that men and women are wanting the same thing, relationships that are built on a mutual respect and a deep honouring of who we really are. When we fully realise our immensely graceful qualities that we innately have and love sharing with each other we will see that what is possible within a truly loving relationship, whether it be platonic or romantic to go so much deeper than the surface issues of ‘looks and sex’.

523. What you share here Floris is so beautiful to read and indeed important to share. I agree that as men we are precious, delicate and sensitive beings and that we have to share that with the world as the image that many men, and from there boys, are perpetually raised with is far from that. The norm for men is to be hard and tough, to not share your feelings but instead to keep a stiff upper lip when you actually feel to cry and so on. This is not who we as men are from the inside thus constantly we live in an inner conflict with that what lives within and that which we have allowed ourselves to express into the outer word. It is therefore understandable that there is so much conflict in this world as this is a reflection of that which collectively is lived.

524. Thank you, Floris for outing the elephant in the room! It is well past time for men to stay silent about the tenderness that has always been within us. The hard shell we have built to protect the love we are has done us no favors or the people around us. We are not the new and improved Man we are just finally expressing to the world who we have always been!

525. It is all our responsibility to support, honor, nurture and love young girls in the way they deserve, so they grow into young women knowing their value and worth.

     1. Beautifully said Mary-Louise. This is what is very needed to be considered by us all.

526. It takes some courage to leave the mould and make a difference, which makes you stand out, but it also makes you a leading light showing the way to the future.

527. From the day we are born we are fed images about what it means to be a man or a woman. And even though initially we can feel the inherent lie in these false pictures, because no one else appears to question it, the vast majority of us push such feelings to the side and blindly adopt the going mindset of the society we are in. And that is exactly what it is, a vice grip we are held in based on what we are led to think and never on what we truly feel. For if we were to stop and feel the truth of what is there, as you have done here Floris, we immediately feel that there is only one love but two slightly different expressions of it.

     1. Thanks for sharing the simplicity that has been written in this touching blog Liane Mandalis. It is definitely the expression of love that is slightly different from a man and woman, but the true beauty is that it is there and offered to the other when we are willing to let go of the ideals and beliefs that are feed to us.

528. An absolutely stunning sharing Floris. It is so rare to see men express this way and bring loving honesty to their relationships with women. We all suffer in the ‘battle of the sexes’ and it is madness when the truth is we simply want to be loved.

529. Floris you are at the forefront of a true men’s movement that is reclaiming the absolute equalness that exists between men and women. This is groundbreaking and I thank you deeply for expanding on these understandings. The more men who feel and see what you feel and see, the sooner the tensions and inequity that exist between us will vanish.

530. We do indeed all care deeply for another and love being cared for and cherished just for who we are.

531. Thanks for sharing so openly and honestly Floris. It’s beautiful to read what you have written and learned. Very inspiring.

532. Wow, how gorgeous is this blog Floris. Your sharing is simply divine and very honouring and comfirming of how true connection between men and women can be when we come from our own tenderness and love.

533. It is lovely re-connecting with old friends and feeling that there is still such an ease and connection there between you. I have been experiencing this myself in the last few years and it has made me really appreciate those friendships and ponder on the deeper reason or purpose for our connection.

     1. I agree, Fiona. And it goes without saying that reconnecting with an old friend is much more enriching than reconnecting over Facebook. Like you, I really appreciate some of my older or rekindled friendships.

534. We make no distinctions when we are little kids who we play with. We openly receive other kids, express everything there is to express and sort out any issues then and there in the sandpit. I love to remember the ease with which we naturally relate to each other. This is something as adults we can re-ignite again with the addition of being able to explore and appreciate the beauty of what each gender brings.

535. Thank you Floris for the care you have taken to share your increasing responsibility to understand everyone as equal and inspiring me to deepen my responsibility to do the same. We are all sacred and infinitely beautiful.

536. Isn’t it a strange we can admit that we don’t believe in something because it is obviously wrong such as men being superior to women, however, hold it as an ideal that subconsciously affects us.

     Doesn’t this give a whole new meaning to honesty? This blog highlights there is a bit more than just vocalising what we think we think.

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