Learning to not React to Feedback on our Work – the Power of Observing, not Absorbing

Have you ever found yourself feeling frustrated, criticised and possibly insulted or offended when receiving feedback on your work from a colleague or supervisor that is not what you expected – particularly feedback that is, or seems to be, somewhat critical?

Have you noticed that when receiving this type of feedback in written form, such as via email, your reaction can be immediate and even stronger than if sitting down with the person? It’s like there is no filter on your reaction and you can fume away in silence, or go into a spin about your abilities, often letting the emotions build although they may never be expressed.

I recently had an opportunity to view email communication very differently when I inadvertently had the same document reviewed by a colleague on separate days, but received vastly different feedback – via email. What unfolded has shown me that we are constantly offered the opportunity to deepen our understanding of ourselves and others through observing and not absorbing. I have also come to realise that, perhaps contrary to the beliefs subscribed to in many workplaces, I do have a choice as to whether I respond or whether I react to such feedback.

At the time, both my colleague and I were faced with multiple deadlines, including the submission date for the document I was working on. In the first email I received, the comments were less than favourable, highlighting a few areas of improvement and an issue to be resolved before submission. With less than 2 days to turn it around I could feel a sense of panic rising in me, but I took a deep, gentle breath and replied to the email that I was feeling somewhat confused about the comments as I felt I had been following direction from another colleague also working on the project.

The next day I received another email with further comments on the document. My colleague expressed that while it still needed work, it could be submitted and revised later. He also thought that perhaps he had been looking at a previous version of the document when he reviewed it the day before. I checked and it was the same version reviewed twice, but clearly at different times, in fact on different days. As I sat with this I could feel how in one instance he had likely been very stressed, tired and frazzled and on the next occasion not so much, as there was a different feel to the email and his response.

We can all relate to having ‘bad’ days, but are we aware of how this affects everything we do and the people we interact with? What I could feel clearly through this experience is that we take every moment of the day to our next activity be it reviewing a document, sending an email, reading an email, having a meeting, preparing food, exercising and so on. It follows then that if we are feeling frustrated, tired, stressed or equally, joyful, gentle, rested, calm, then this ‘quality’ is actually present in whatever activity we are doing. If we then accept “if everything is energy, therefore, everything is BECAUSE of energy” (1) as presented by Serge Benhayon, then does it not make sense that the ‘quality’ we are in, or our emotions, are affecting others, be they felt or not?

I could have chosen to react to the content of the first email and I know from past experiences what that would have looked like: I would have gotten upset, felt that I was not good enough at this stuff, and felt I would never get the document submitted on time and possibly even given up. So what was different this time?

On this occasion I took a moment to feel and observe the quality or emotion behind the email, as well as my own quality at the time. I also acknowledged that I felt hurt by the comments and the way they were delivered and I took a moment to feel the hurt. On reflection, I realise that in letting myself feel the hurt, my body remained open, gentle and calm and then it was simple to respond, not react. Often we want to avoid feeling any hurt and we react by hardening ourselves as a form of protection: we get frustrated, we lash out, we might withdraw. In this state we are more likely to react to everything, as everything is perceived as a threat, that is, something that might hurt us. Add to this the workplace environment, which is not particularly supportive of employees showing or expressing their feelings and thus increasing the likelihood that we are in protection and reaction.

This experience has provided me with an opportunity to reflect on the importance of not reacting, of not absorbing or taking on, whatever emotions or energy come with any form of communication, including via emails. To get caught up in reaction is to put our bodies into a stress reaction, which does not support us, those around us, or our work. I have also been reminded of my responsibility with regards to my own energetic quality in every moment, to ensure that I can observe and not absorb and therefore, respond not react. It is up to me to ensure that if I’ve had a ‘bad’ moment that it is not taken to my next activity or it will snowball into a ‘bad’ day.

I also find myself considering how much it could support us all in our workplaces if we were all to explore the wisdom of those few simple words, “Observe and not absorb” (2) and be more open to our own and others’ feelings at work.

By Anonymous

References:

  1. Serge Benhayon, Esoteric Teachings & Revelations, p 220, UniMed Publishing, 2011.
  2. Unimed Living. (2017). The Universal Medicine New Year’s Message for 2011 | Unimed Living. [online] Available at: http://www.unimedliving.com/serge-benhayon/the-seer/readings-humanity/the-universal-medicine-new-year-message-for-2011.html [Accessed 25 Sep. 2017].

Related Reading:
Responsibility in the Workplace
To Observe and Not Absorb
Understanding – is this the Key to Sharing our Greatest Form of Love?

655 thoughts on “Learning to not React to Feedback on our Work – the Power of Observing, not Absorbing

  1. When we bring our essence to everything that we do then it is easy to receive feedback from another because we know that what we do is not who we are.

  2. I have found that how I am with myself does affect how I am with others. In person or via emails, text or on the phone. We are told to be polite at work (and even then it isn’t adhered to in some circumstances) but the quality we are with each other needs mention. It’s something we don’t talk about enough.

  3. Not reacting is best and when we do react it is, as you said, important not to act from the reaction but to come back to ourselves first so we can then respond.

  4. Our sensitivity to any kind of criticism is directly relevant to our self worth and we can either react defensively or use it as an opportunity to learn. The way the criticism is delivered also depends on the mood at the time of the person delivering it, for example, if they are not feeling well, they may sound more ratty than normal. We need to read that and then there is no offence, only understanding.

  5. I like what you show us here, that we have a choice in every moment and do not have to follow a way of handling things that is so common and habitual for us, that we can stop and take a step back and allow ourselves to observe what is going on instead of getting swept up in the activity and emotions of the day.

  6. Yesterday someone reacted very strongly to a question I raised, what for me was an innocent question. I replied very quickly in a way that I thought was appropriate yet when I relayed the encounter to a friend she said you mustn’t lash back. I didn’t feel that I had but on further reflection I realised I could have been far more loving in my reply even if the other person was walking away at this point. It is great when we can honestly support each other to look more deeply at what is happening and thus see where our ‘reposts’ come from ..if there is any reaction there and if it is covering up a hurt or maybe even the others, and in that we are protecting them – and us – from deepening.

  7. This experience brings the word ‘self-care’ to another deeper level. Certainly is very healing being at work, at school, at home…wherever we go out there holding a loving quality inside us. This is not weak but a powerful way of being that allows us to see all in transparency. Any energy of competition, hardness or defensiveness melts just because we are present, feeling and observing. Truly we can change the world in a split second.

  8. Observe rather than absorb and reacting to other’s emotions is a very wise way of being wherever we go. I didn’t know this could be possible before knowing Serge Benhayon, but now today is very key in my day to day, very simple and really supportive to approach my daily work harmoniously. It is a choice that brings lightness, fun, joy and a deep appreciation for being me.

  9. I know the difference between reacting and not reacting rather too well! Not reacting (not absorbing) is so much more loving and not at all exhausting emotionally or energetically. Whereas reaction is like jumping into the muddle pool with someone .. nothing changes or heals in fact with this the situation gets worse.

  10. Most of us consider not reacting to the situation means hardening up and not feeling the hurt. Interesting that what you have observed puts this belief on its head: “in letting myself feel the hurt, my body remained open, gentle and calm and then it was simple to respond, not react”.

    1. Yes…it is like observing and feeling with no judgment to what’s going on, no pictures, just a beholding quality of being with ourselves no matter what, really precious.

      1. Which is a beautiful way to live and we don’t need perfection to live this way, just practice.

  11. There are a couple of points here that call to me. First, are we prepared to express ourselves fully in spite of how it might be received (and not react when someone higher up the decision chain suggests some edits), and then there is the question of how consistent can we be? Imagine if the feedback had been the same, if that was you or I in that position but by being consistent day to day we are able to offer the same reflection.

  12. It is simple Anonymous, we either react or we respond. At the time though it is not so simple. Even, holding ourselves to ‘you must not react’ I feel is not loving. My experience has been, we are usually faced with a system that is run a certain way that does not truly honour us. Accepting the system is like this helps and, accepting you can still be all of you in the system also helps. I wonder how much of us actually are comfortable that systems are like this and, if it was a system that was truly supporting us and we were also being pulled up to be more responsible, would we react?

  13. Yes, definitely, to ‘Observe and not absorb’. What I am learning is how observation deepens as I become more able to accept what I am feeling. I can feel how it used to be more of a settling with a storyline that would somewhat seem to make sense more in my mind, and that it really needs the body to be there present with what is taking place. There’s much to be felt.

  14. I’m known as a sensitive yet this can be a blessing or hindrance. It becomes a hindrance when every nuance from another is picked up and absorbed as a personal attack as this is destablising. To observe and not absorb what others say or do builds settlement within that is unshakeable.

  15. In all situations where feedback is different to what a person has offered, it is important to always hold yourself in deep appreciation of all that you bring and not interpret the feedback as meaning you are less. The space that ‘observing’ allows is very powerful and feel very confirming of the choices that are made from that point on.

    1. Life is very different when we make the choice to observe how things feel, rather than reacting to everything. We can be a small boat knocked by the waves or we can be steady ship. We get to choose and observing life and being honest about how it feels is where we need to start.

  16. The great thing about work, is how there are certain rules that we all need to adhere to and be accountable to, and how there are consequences to not following these rules. So with this basic structure in place, all that is left is to raise the standards of these rules, bit by bit, so that the quality of life at work is constantly developing towards greater and greater respect and understanding.

  17. I used to hate, and often felt humiliated, when I went into reaction when ‘told off’, but these days most of the time I welcome the lesson and the awareness I am being offered, and yes there is always something. It can still feel uncomfortable, especially if my reaction is a bit extreme, but as long as I make sure I am still connected to me I know that the lesson will show itself, and then of course it’s up to me as to whether I choose to take it on board or not

    1. “I welcome the lesson and the awareness I am being offered,`’ I agree Ingrid. There is learning in every situation and interaction. We learn most from our reactions and discomfort especially when things don’t go our way or as we expected.

      1. I can clearly see, that it is when “when things don’t go our way or as we expected” that we can go into the biggest reaction. It is as if we have already mapped out the future and now suddenly someone is taking that away from us. Yes, expectations that are not fulfilled can be the biggest test of accepting that things will not always go the way we planned.

      2. Tanya Curtis of FABIC uses an apt expression ‘smashed pictures’ to describe this. When first introduced to it, gave me an ‘ahah’ moment as I became aware of how I had set myself up to be constantly disappointed! We’re often not open to what is before us because we’ve already ‘mapped out the future’ instead of living life in the here and now and as offered to us.

  18. This is a great learning to let go of individuality and not see feedback as totally personal. It also shows that how people are living is so key to how we express and share with each other and that we have a responsibility in terms of how we live and therefore how we are with others.

  19. It’s great to have this bigger picture presented how often it’s not about us, but can be that the other is tired, etc. and this highlights how we need to read and discern what is going on and to be open, observe and understand and the example given here is a great reminder of how when we do stay open and observe we allow another the space to come back to being themselves.

    1. I agree Monica, very often ‘It’s not about us’ and when we make it so, we limit the opportunity offered to respond with understanding and wisdom.

  20. The reflections we have from other people at work are invaluable as they cover every aspect of life. From things like observing how naturally gentle they are, how playful, how they handle making mistakes or how reactive they are and if resentment plays out. The list is endless.

    1. Yes, I have learnt heaps from being at work and being willing to look at my relationships and consciously work on them.

      1. Work and family are divinely designed for us to see ourselves and relationships with others more clearly, if we’re open to.

  21. When receiving feedback I always fine that it is very important not to give our power away whilst at same time being open to hearing what is being presented.

    1. The Gentle Breath Meditation’ supports us with this. Connecting to our breath, makes it much easier for us to ‘hear what is being presented’.

  22. I too have found how observing what is going on has really helped me stay steady during the day, the more I observe the less I am caught off guard and if I do go into reaction I look at where or what happened that made me drop my awareness and it becomes a constant learning.

    1. Yes Sally, the beauty of accepting our constant unfolding is the learning offered. Being caught ‘off guard” and unawares is by divine design and offers the greatest opportunity to learn.

  23. Observation is awesome, especially when it is applied to ourselves for all the mistakes that can be made and viewed without judgement.

  24. I can add another saying to this mix which as wise friend said to me the other day – ‘reflect not react’. And I have been using that a lot lately, so when I start to react, I (as much as I can) stop the reaction and start to ask myself, why am I reacting? what’s got me so hot under the collar? Do I have a part to play in this scenario? It helps enormously – especially when you are absolutely honest.

  25. Not only do we have to deal with what’s coming at us in the form of criticism for whatever reason but we also have to deal with other people in verbal combat with each other – this I have always found to be difficult. So, far the only way I have found is to acknowledge that it hurts when people are like this with each other and to get some understanding as to why and what’s going on for them. As in are their own hurts from childhood being triggered by each other, is there control issues or are they reflecting to each other what they do not want to see in themselves – the list is endless.

  26. To be open to not just our own feelings at work but also discern why others behave like they do.
    This way we get a deeper understanding that it has got nothing to do with us but their own issues. This way we can offer a holding of love.

  27. More and more I stay steady with myself in one of my work environments and notice what a difference this makes. The person criticising( in reaction) gains a respect for us as we observe and understand what is happening. Now to be able to live this in all areas of work.

  28. The thing is if we react at work, or even at home to someone we lose our ability and our clarity to help support that person. The best way we can change a situation is by remaining steady and super loving and providing a steadfastness that others can rely on and be supported to resource their own steadfastness.

    1. Very true Meg, even if we know the other person is not being loving the moment we try to go into the right and prove a point we too are gone and so no longer can discern or feel what is going on. And as you say we then can no longer support the person as we have gotten caught up in the energy.

  29. There are no threats to someone that chooses to move confirming him/herself. This helps to generate a quality that impress everything we do and help us to deal with how others react to what carry our impress. But if you impress something being in disconnection to your body and you react from the same quality, this is a different ball game altogether.

  30. It is important to recognise when feedback is for the development of oneself or when it is a direct criticism, because the latter does not foster understanding because it is hurtful.

    1. Which begs the question of what can we do when something is hurtful? If we are not invested in the outcome, or being right, then its much easier to just see whatever happened for what is really going on rather than as a personal challenge / put down.

  31. “This experience has provided me with an opportunity to reflect on the importance of not reacting, of not absorbing or taking on, whatever emotions or energy come with any form of communication, including via emails.” Not reacting to life is one of the biggest lessons we have to learn if we are to truly bring all of who we are to the world.

  32. The power of observing is a wonderful way to support our inner healing. We can so often head down the path of reaction and judgement but when we stop to connect and feel what is truly going on the levels of understanding are felt to explore.

  33. To be able to observe life and not take things personally is a game changer, we can then be free to respond to any situation in front of us and be more understanding and accepting of others.

    1. It sure is a game changer and then from this place of observation we get to understand clearly what is going on and what energies are at play and so can then bring our all from love to the situation and not out of reaction trying to fix or change something.

  34. The power of observation is the ability to receive what is being expressed by another instead of interpreting what words ‘may mean’ — if you do not truly listen and feel what is said it could be called ‘may-hem’. Observing and reading the depth brings an understanding in knowing where another is at, and where you are at through reflection.

  35. It is important to never take anything personally for only then can we consider what has been said from an observational viewpoint.

  36. That your work colleague gave two different assessments or reviews of the same document goes to show how when we get frazzled and don’t stay on purpose we can easily make errors in judgment. I can really feel how when I go into overwhelm myself this happens all too easily.

  37. As children we have an enormous ability to simply observe life. Part of our education ought to be how we can remain observing life whilst not reacting/judging. Serge Benhayon first presented the teaching on how to observe and not absorb/react to life back in 1999.

  38. Observation is an incredibly powerful tool that is totally under utilised and very rarely taught. It offers us the space to reflect on a situation without judgement or any form of reaction. Through observation we get a much better understanding of the situation and from there we will know how best to respond.

  39. The less identified we are with our work the more we are able to receive feedback about it, whether it is positive or negative.

  40. “This experience has provided me with an opportunity to reflect on the importance of not reacting, of not absorbing or taking on, whatever emotions or energy come with any form of communication, including via emails.” . . . Now this is great advice for any workplace situation. Thank you for sharing your experience.

  41. Work is the place where through our commitment and engagement with all that there is, we get to evolve, and part of that is learning to observe fully the activity of those we work with.

  42. Learning to not react takes time and much effort, but first, it takes to being in commitment to self in every way – building that foundation of strength within so that it becomes possible to observe and not absorb every little thing. This is definitely a lifelong project that will take years to master… but, as they say, every journey begins with the first step and if we don’t take that 1st step we will never know what the end result could be!

  43. It is amazing what happens when we stop reacting and allow things to unfold. It takes the push and the drive out of things and allows us to connect more deeply with others.

  44. This also is relevant when we are talking to employees or any one who enters the workplace with us. I used to think constructive criticism, either giving or receiving was the way to go but now I see that staying deeply connected and expressing with love the truth that we know in our hearts is all that is needed.

  45. For so many of us work is a major issue and yet at the same time it can be the one thing that supports us to have purpose in our lives, the key as you share is that ability to observe and not get drawn in, I’m also finding that when we observe and are then faced with the truth, it’s what we do with that.

  46. It is true that how we are affects everyone – as is highlighted here – it is so evident that we can be in 2 different states on different days depending on what we are taking on or reaction to or not reacting to.

  47. When we feel down and out, stressed or overwhelmed, we often blame our To Do list and the fact that things are just ‘too busy’, but could we instead address the QUALITY rather than quantity of what we are doing and assess whether in fact our activities and conversations are draining us because we are absorbing rather than observing life?

  48. This highlights something I’ve noticed recently in myself and those around me … if we take things personally we each come from our own version of right and nothing changes, but if we can take a breathe and allow ourselves the space to observe and understand any hurts we may be feeling we open up the space for a very different type of response, and we find a different way to be and work with another.

  49. The justification game comes into full force when we are not observing what is offered in the workplace from the feedback of our roles. When we observe and feel the intentions of the communication, we can often read another level that is not offered to us when we go straight into reactions or hurts.

  50. I learn every time I open an email or speak to people that what we hear and what is being said can be interpreted in many different ways. What we say and how we say it can be very different to how it is perceived. Observing and not absorbing is medicine!

  51. We can learn a lot from feedback if we do not give our power away to the person who is giving us the feedback.

  52. To go into reaction causes a huge ripple throughout our body as the hurt that has been triggered begins to awaken and expand. As most can probably attest to, it feels horrible at that moment so we then tend to go into self-protection mode, justification, explanation, anything to say we have done nothing ‘wrong’. And unless we are able to separate the hurt from the initial issue the ripples from the reaction will continue to flow and grow. ‘Learning not to react’ is one of the most supportive lessons we could possibly learn.

  53. ‘or go into a spin about your abilities’… it used to take the slightest comment, not always directed at me, to trip me into a downward spiral of self-doubt and self-criticism, feeding the beast that I carried around of lack of self-worth. I can still feel the residue of this when I am challenged in any relationship (work, home, friends) but building respect for the qualities we all bring to the table, arrests this old pattern and leaves me much clearer in each situation to not react but to learn, deepen my understanding of everything at play and stay open in my interactions with others.

  54. In a recent conversation with someone, she expressed to me how I had upset her, for which I instantly took responsibility for and thereafter changed my ways to be more honouring and respectful. The growth in our relationship which has followed has been beautiful, there is an honesty between us which I treasure. And I know that this is due in part to my willingness to be accountable for myself – knowing that I am not perfect and will often need to be called to account for my behaviours, but that this is not a bad thing, it is just part of being human, being in groups, and learning.

  55. I can relate to the workplace not being accepting of feelings and our sensitivity that everyone has. But do I allow my feelings to be fully known to those I work with? Or do I work hard at keeping them contained. I feel the latter is true at this moment but I know I can share my feelings with others so what are the conditions I have accepted that say I can’t do that at work?

    1. I recently shared with my work colleagues that I had learnt a lot about myself in how I had been dealing with feedback on a big project I had been working on and that it was clearly an ongoing process as I kept discovering things about myself I hadn’t considered before. The meeting was very different from that moment on as it seemed we all got an opportunity to own our own responses or reactions rather than blame anyone else when we discussed our next event. It was quite a lesson to observe the power of simply sharing with out indulging.

  56. Observing ourselves without judgment (reaction) in situations provides such a great foundation for being the same way with others.

  57. ” On this occasion I took a moment to feel and observe the quality or emotion behind the email, as well as my own quality at the time. I also acknowledged that I felt hurt by the comments and the way they were delivered and I took a moment to feel the hurt ”
    Feeling the hurt is a huge step in understanding the fear of rejection, for rejection is our ultimate nightmare.

  58. Life is like a play. We buy into the story line and find ourselves getting aggravated and antsy, we need to look around at the stage and be reminded it’s not all it seems. Thank you Anonymous for the prompt here.

  59. Letting down my guard and being more open, honest and sometimes therefore vulnerable with the people I work with has had an amazing impact on my sense of well being and my love for the work I do.

  60. I think if someone gives us genuine feedback from the perspective of helping us grow and evolve it’s actually amazing, I think when we react it’s when we feel judged. One of my life principles is that no matter what situation I’m in I utilise it to the max, so I learn, grow and become a stronger and more loving person, and this is definitely a principle I turn to in difficult moments.

    1. Could it be that when we feel judged by another it is a reflection being shown to us of the judgement and criticism that we can sometimes give towards ourselves? We are essentially reacting towards how we have been living in relationship to ourselves… I know this has certainly been the case with me.

  61. We cannot hide and pretend that everything is ok when energetically it isn’t even when we claim that we do not verbalise it. We may not go on or harp on about things but it is fact that we are affected by everyone and everything whether seen or unseen.

  62. We can not underestimate our capacity to observe. Its not about standing back and not being involved but allowing someone else to be in their own emotional state – whatever that maybe, without taking it on. The more we can observe, we begin to see the layers of our own reactions so that we can say no to reacting and remain in observation. Being in observation is a blessing for oneself, for taking on and owning the emotions of others is toxic to ourselves. But it is also a blessing for the other as they get the opportunity to feel what they have chosen too.

  63. How awesome it is to give ourselves the space to express what is needed and also to observe others within this space too. I have also found when I have received feedback from a work colleague particularly via email to pause before replying and observe the energy within the email as everything holds an energetic imprint. I sometimes also find that words are not always needed as our movements are also an expression that holds the same energy too.

  64. “To get caught up in reaction is to put our bodies into a stress reaction, which does not support us, those around us, or our work” – so true Anonymous, if only we could actually see the energy we are leaving behind, littering and indeed equally gracing people with too, the world would become truly responsible.

  65. Our quality is taken into everything that we do, ‘It follows then that if we are feeling frustrated, tired, stressed or equally, joyful, gentle, rested, calm, then this ‘quality’ is actually present in whatever activity we are doing.’ How important is the quality we choose to live in then?

  66. When we starting reading situations it gets fun. Even bad situations are ok. As by reading the situation you stay observing and then you see the whole picture and the Why this is chosen. So you see that what occurs has nothing to do with you.

  67. When you connect to purpose, the state of the world and what we are truly here to do, you can’t help but see it’s not limited to delivering projects or reports on time, but involves us reflecting Love. When we connect to that there’s no space for taking things personally – it’s a huge waste of valuable space in this life. Thank you Anonymous.

  68. ‘We can all relate to having ‘bad’ days, but are we aware of how this affects everything we do and the people we interact with? ‘ So true Anon, by energetic law our bad days can effect everyone else’s as well.

    1. Very true Jenny and we do all know that, even though we may say “I am just having a bad day” as an excuse. It important to reflect on what we ourselves have taken on that has resulted “in the bad day”. Its our choices that have resulted in that.

  69. The trouble is that most of us go into our workplaces already loaded and on the defence for what we anticipate will come at us.
    We know that what we have all created – because we are all complicit in this – are workplaces that are toxic, void of any real care for the people in them. And so we go in, in reaction to this because of course it impacts us.
    But in reaction we absorb and of course add to the toxicity we are reacting to in the first place.

  70. If we observe, that is reading what is going on, and take everything as a possibility to evolve, then we will not react to any situation. We will have an understanding, even appreciation for what is offered.

  71. Our living way has a clear impact well beyond ourselves. We share it with the people that we interact with on a daily basis. It affects us and them. Annoying and irresponsible as it is, such a generous sharing offers us a great opportunity for others to learn/practice holding themselves no matter what.

  72. Any form of reaction is extremely harming not only to ourselves but also to everyone. The only way to stop reacting is to bring understanding.

  73. I love being given the opportunity to understand people and situations more, so it is important for me to stay observing, ‘that we are constantly offered the opportunity to deepen our understanding of ourselves and others through observing and not absorbing.’

  74. Feedback often comes with a charge and it is very difficult not to react to negative statements, however true, delivered with frustration, rage, anger or blame. We can learn enormously when we keep our time in reaction to a minimum and to understand the underlying truth to the feedback, whatever that is. With some practice this becomes enormously empowering.

  75. The more I allow myself to observe and listen to what another is saying the less I find myself reacting. I can then either take on board what they have said and learn from it or I can see it as effectively trying to bring me down. I have learnt that it is going to really be one or the other. Either it will be truly supportive or it will have a poisionous undertone to it even though it may be sounding helpful and the person cares it all depends with what energy it is coming with. So then the more I read the energy the clearer things become and it is no longer personal rather a choice of energy. It makes things much simpler and also gives me a greater opportunity to learn especially when the person is presenting truth to me but I may not want to hear it!

      1. That is the key to remember it is never personal rather an outplay of energy. I find the moment I take a moment to observe what is going on rather than wanting an immediate answer I am far less likely to react to the person as know it is not really about me.

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