Baby milestones – the Beginning of an Unhealthy Lifestyle in Comparison and Competition

We may consider it to be a normal part of everyday life to observe or be swept up in comparison or competition. Men perform for the top spots in business, the fastest legs on the field or the grungiest, hotted up car: we see them competing to ‘get the girl’, to have the most laid-back lifestyle, honours at university or even to drink others ‘under the table’. With women, we see the comparison in our looks, the bikini bodies (or lack-thereof), the hair and all external features, really… From women’s relationships with men, colleagues and friends, to how much and what we eat, business accomplishments, exercise style and how we breastfeed, there aren’t many aspects of life, if any, that have not yet been compared to and competed for.

Is this really healthy?

Where does comparison and competition begin?

After having a baby of my own, it’s apparent to me that a lifestyle rich in comparison and competition and the seeking to be recognised for anything and everything that we do begins early – from day dot. Potentially this way of living has actually already been set up to begin this way from conception, as we are born into a world where competition and comparison are experienced as the norm: we are filled with pictures of how life should be, what makes one successful and what a secure lifestyle consists of. But with our focus placed on competing for and achieving what these pictures promise, are we then missing the simplicity of the connection within ourselves and with others that we all naturally seek?

I have noticed for myself that babies are categorised by their head circumference and their length, their birth weight and how much they drink, whether they are breast or bottle fed, how much they poop and of course at what month do they begin to eat solids, sleep through, where they sleep, and when they first smile, crawl, talk and walk. Their physical characteristics, developments and patterns are what make up most of the conversations between us as parents and also with our healthcare professionals.

Absolutely all of these developments for a small child are important as they grow and develop at their own pace, but what is not important is to compare our own child with what anyone else’s baby is doing: nor is it a healthy practice to become fixated on these developments or associate them with successful parenting or a successful child.

Becoming distracted by these external considerations pulls us away from the truth of the Ageless Wisdom presented by Serge Benhayon that when we are born we are already everything… and there is nothing we will ever do or not do that can change this unwavering fact

When we are raised to know this – that the essence of who we are is already everything, that we are made of love and pure Divinity prior to conception and that this never ever changes, that we are amazing by just being ourselves and breathing our own breath and that we behold a beauty that far outshines the brightest star or sunrise – we are given the space to live a completely different lifestyle… perhaps one that is truly healthy!

Yes, we are still going to grow, walk and fall over. We’ll learn all the lessons life brings our way, reaching our milestones, getting the awards, the relationship or the job and be categorised as ‘average’, ‘above’ or ‘below,’ but the important part here is that it won’t really matter what we do because we’ll know who we are first and foremost: we’ll stand on a solidness within us where competition and comparison can’t even touch the sides!

Of course, not many of us as adults can say that we were educated and fostered as children to be, and to know, the essence of who we are before all else, and hence live a truly healthy lifestyle, free of the seeking or need to be recognised, or free of competition and comparison. But the fact remains:

We are already everythingand it is never too late to raise ourselves in this absolute knowing too.

From here, a truly healthy relationship with ourselves and others is born, as when we know who we are in essence, we know our quality. When we know our quality, we know that the skills we bring to life are not to be boasted about, or compared to those of others, but are actually there to complement each other. Our men are then supported to share the skills they have with others and truly work together, whilst women, when free of comparison, are in the harmony of being truly inspired by each other and our collective choices.

All of this is the beginning of a healthy lifestyle, discarding the separation that comparison and competition only serve to spread and supporting us all to feel equal, whilst appreciating more deeply the qualities we are and that we bring.

I have begun to appreciate the relationship and health benefits in those students of The Way of The Livingness who are choosing to practise this way of living for themselves.

Deeply inspired by the presentations of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, for reawakening me to my true essence and reflecting to me the importance of living this in my everyday.

By Cherise Holt, 33, Nurse, Mother and Woman re-acquainted with her True self

Related Reading:
A Life of Comparison
Competition and self-esteem: Turning the tide on competition and comparison in schools
The Beauty of Meeting Children and Allowing Them to Be

515 thoughts on “Baby milestones – the Beginning of an Unhealthy Lifestyle in Comparison and Competition

  1. Comparison runs so deep in our education culture, which is based on strive, drive, achieve – and this is always at the expense of another. So great to be aware of this to the enth degree, and bring the opposite….. the joy of appreciation and celebration of oneself and others everywhere.

  2. You only have to look at our current education system to see that generally competition and comparison is basically championed as a good thing in our society, supposedly character building and motivating in my view it actually achieves the opposite and sets up our children to live a life perpetually in fear of failing or falling to the ‘bottom of the pile’.

    1. Totally the systems create the fear of falling behind, wanting to be safe and secure before anything else in our lives. It’s very insidious.

  3. I was fully aware of the effects of banding students at school and in different phases of life but did not consider that we start this as early as babies in hospital – no wonder we become so accustomed to having a value assigned to us from something outside of us rather than the naturally equality in our true nature.

    1. So true Michael. There is so much joy and love in a young baby that is just busting to get out, it must take something very persistant to make them question how he/she feels about his/herself to prevent them from shining.

    2. As a mum, I became very aware of this around other parents of babies and small toddlers. This insidious comparison between each child’s milestones was taken on as a reflection of the quality of one’s parenting. If one’s child wasn’t progressing as it ‘should’ then the parent would immediately worry about what it was they were doing wrong or not getting quite right! This so exposes how riddled we are with lack of worth that we look to the outside to confirm us rather than reading what is before us for what it is.

    1. To do in disconnection and the hope that the doing will in some way fulfil us, is a futile pursuit. To accept that we are already all we need to be, to learn to love and honour this and then go about our daily activity brings a whole new quality to everything.

  4. Our skills and its results remain empty if they are not made by us in connection with us. Yes, you can get amazing results out of a talent, but is it the quantity that counts or the quality in which it was made?

  5. Perhaps one of the first ways that comparison begins for us as parents, is when we begin to think of the children we are raising as our own people, that is, when there is a sense of ownership over this other person and then as a result, whose every particle of their beingness becomes a reflection of our capabilities and hence our worth as parents, and ultimately as people ourselves.
    Is it therefore one of the greatest revelations that to begin to abolish comparison, we can begin to develop relationships with ‘our children’ that are based on mutual respect and equality, as even though we are the parents and they are in our care and we have certain duties relating to this unchageable fact, essentially the child is their own person with a path back to life with their soul that no one else can walk for them or have control over or ownership of.

  6. Could you imagine a world where inspiration was the norm and not competition? That we knew the divine fact that we are already everything and our main job is to connect to and live from that, and then express from there in our own ways. And from this unique expression, we inspire others – not judge, compare nor compete? It is possible, and it is starting now, slowly but surely.

  7. I totally remember as a wee girl doing something repetitively so that i would have the praise from my parents and it made me feel loved. That is super sad now that I look back at it. Not that I am blaming my parents at all but it is fascinating and by no coincidence that our parents and generations before them have not been encouraged to celebrate there children just for being who they are and how amazing this is.

  8. I have a young toddler – and I have been observing how when I am around parents – that it is so easy to go into my story vs your story. Especially with kids. So then the question is what energy are we choosing to be in by going into this? What do the babies then pick up and learn? It is so easy to compare. So easy to try and out-do the other with a story – but this is exactly what feeds the bigger picture of separation in the world.

    1. That’s an important point HM, without a deeper awareness around how and what we express when we socialise, we can be hooked in by comparison before we know it as it is such an accepted way to communicate.

  9. Another beautiful ‘never too late’ moment… it is never too late to remember and honour the fact that we are enough just the way we are and that no end of achievements will fulfil us if we do not have this foundational understanding.

  10. We would all do well to remember back to when we were wee little kids and how we lived totally from our bodies and what we felt and needed at the time. Very simple basic stuff, with no need for comparing or judging because our whole world revolved around us knowing we were amazing and we felt the joy of that amazing and let ourselves be that. It was only the parents/adults who have a hard time of it because they too don’t want to see their own reflection in that natural joy and need to have us a certain way to be like everyone else.

    1. I really loved the feel of that when I read it too Toni, “A Woman re-acquainted with her True-Self”. Rich and full.

  11. I feel the main way women compete/compare and identify their importance as a woman once she has birthed a child is through parenting. It is thick and can be very ugly and in your face.

  12. You raise an important issue here Cherise that our lifestyles can include the norms we have adopted such as comparing ourselves and children to others rather than appreciating for who we are not how we differ.

  13. I was in a large shopping center recently and I was watching parents with their babies and I observed a shift in parenting. I noticed how engaged the fathers were that they seemed to be the ones holding their baby and gladly so. I noticed how proud they were too and how open and caring they seemed to be. I don’t remember men being this way when I had a baby it was more that the fathers were a bit distant from their babies giving the care over to the mother rather than joining in and being a part of it all. If there is a social change occurring then may be one of the many pictures we have of being parents is being disassembled?

    1. Interestingly Mary I have been noticing this too… how nowadays Dads are more hands-on in the caring for their children. It is lovely to see this shift in parenting and to see the old pictures of the divide in the roles of parents starting to crumble.

  14. “we are born into a world where competition and comparison are experienced as the norm: we are filled with pictures of how life should be, what makes one successful and what a secure lifestyle consists of.” What if our lives didn’t start out this way and that we were just accepted for who we were with no expectations or preconcieved ideas about how we wanted our children to be? What a difference this would make to the whole world.

  15. You could go as far as to say, comparison and competition are one big root of evil. Just recognising this and applying it in our lives, we would be streets ahead in our evolution.

  16. What is also clear in this pressure to perform is how much we as parents need from the child – is it possible that we need their love and affection and attention and to feel like they need us, we need them to do well because it gives us a sense of pride and achievement and success as a parent?

  17. It’s funny, when my kids were younger and I was in “baby land”, I was so concerned about when my kids did things, always trying to figure out if they were “normal” and making sure they were gaining “the right” amount of weight and having the “right” motor skills and the “right” times and now my kids are older and it is all a weird faint memory. All the things that you thought were important, are not even slightly relevant. It is such a strong consciousness, it really is a scary and unneeded pressure for parents and children.

  18. We live much more in images then we want to be aware of.
    Pictures we use to not feel what is really going on. We please ourselves with pictures from the mind. When we start to open up for what is really going on we feel also how painfull it feel to let go of the attachments.

  19. When we consider that for one person to feel elated by winning something, one or more will feel crushed and their self worth takes one step further towards ground zero – is it really worth it?

  20. It is interesting to see how insidious comparison and competition are, how they have become so normal that it is a constant unpeeling of layers to see how it affects us and governs our thoughts and conversations. I remember trying to keep up with the baby milestones yet knowing they were developing perfectly, in their own good time and I love that this has been reflected in the way they are now. I simply had to learn to get myself out of the way.

  21. ‘We are already everything – and it is never too late to raise ourselves in this absolute knowing too.’ This is pure gold, Cherise, and so incredibly expanding to read that it is never too late to raise ourselves in the absolute knowing that we are already everything. Most of society thinks that we are well beyond being ‘raised’ once we hit adulthood. You simply confirm that raising ourselves is a never ending cycle that continues until our last breath and that already being everything is a way of being we can return to at any stage in our lives.

  22. Something I had long forgotten is this quote from Serge Benhayon that “when we are born we are already everything”. But when we know this in our bodies, the learning we need to do in life is almost consequential, and from this point, there is also no need for any pressure on us from anyone with anything from birth to throughout our lives to death. This knowing gives a whole different perspective on life.

  23. ‘we are made of love and pure Divinity prior to conception and that this never ever changes, that we are amazing by just being ourselves and breathing our own breath and that we behold a beauty that far outshines the brightest star or sunrise ‘ Thank you for your words, beautifully said Cherise.

  24. I’m so struck that this comparing to what is normal from so young is such a pressure for parents. Parents aren’t supported to trust their connection with themselves, their inner wisdom, and what they feel is true for their children. Indeed, if they do speak up against the norm – fundamentals around diet and weight for example, then the establishment can put up a fight with them. This is potentially very intimidating and a recipe for self-doubt!

    1. This is so true, Karin. I spoke up against the norm – not so much ‘out’ spoken as doing what I felt to be true for my son and myself – and I had immense pressure coming at me from every angle you can imagine…from my in-laws to health visitors to friends with or without children. I was very fortunate in that I went with a private midwifery service, and the midwife I worked with was an amazing source of support and loving guidance. She continued to pay regular visits for a number of months after my son was born and encouraged me to following my inner wisdom, helping me to understand how important it was to focus on my son and myself and not to allow influences from the outside world that didn’t feel supportive. She brought humour and lots of laughter…a lovely tonic for two people embarking on the wondrous world of parenthood.

  25. Comparison and competition is so embedded in our society that many would struggle to see it as that, as many consider it as very ‘normal’ and healthy. Beginning to expose this consciousness that runs deep Cherise is a great start and the more we are willing to look at how comparison and competition may still play out in our own life, the more we can begin to shift this and heal this very harming form of behaviour.

  26. As an Early Childhood Teacher it has always seemed clear that the milestones provided to support parents were only ever guides and not actual expectations. The unfortunate thing is they get used as points of either concern because the child is so called “behind”, or elation because the child is so called “ahead”. So as you say, the stage is set for a lifetime of measuring against external markers, rather than allowing the internal guide of our soul to provide all that is needed.

  27. Working with kids I can see that every child grows, learns and develops in different areas of their lives at a different times. What if there is no right or wrong time, but simply what is right at that moment for that child on their developmental path.

    1. Yes interesting isn’t it Meg that when we take the right and wrong of timing out of it (those expectations and developmental norms) how much more room there is for the child to find and communicate their own pace and trajectory of development.

      1. Absolutely, and from us not understanding that every child develops differently and at different paces and imposing a right or wrong time on them do we actually do more damage than we realise? Because rather than appreciating their opportunity to learn we are teaching them that something is wrong with them because they do not fit to the timeline that society accepts.

  28. ‘We are already everything – and it is never too late to raise ourselves in this absolute knowing too.’ This is something that I have and some very supposedly successful people don’t feel or know. Those who have very well paid jobs, houses, cars, careers, families and tick all the boxes and yet they still are full of self-doubt and a lack of self-worth.

  29. We are already everything, to know this, and who we are in truth, is important understanding to bring to all children and adults alike.

  30. Eradicate comparison and competition from people’s lives and we would totally change the way we behave towards each other, and as you show Cherise, it starts from an early age. We have encouraged children to compete, we even say competition is healthy, and makes us stronger but we don’t question if it is true and how much it can affect our lives. I know when I was riding horses and entered competitions I was already anxious 2 days before competing and could sense that I was going to fail, and sure enough most of the time I did, and this lead to comparison, seeing other riders and horses winning and feeling the sense of failure in myself. We are not meant to compete against each other, in fact the opposite, we are designed to work and live together in harmony each knowing that we bring our unique expression to the whole.

  31. The more we value our own unique expression and those of each and every other, the less comparison and judgement rear their heads.

  32. When we allow ourselves and others to grow and learn at a time that is ready for that being then you can’t possibly say that it has to be a certain way as we are all coming to it at a slightly different angel. There is no right and wrong just the present moment and the learning for each and every individual where ever they are on the path of return.

  33. Is comparison and competition healthy? NO! This is sooo important ‘when we are born we are already everything’ if we truly realised and appreciated this for every single being then we could not compete or compare for in truth although we are each unique and bring our own ray of expression we are also equally innately the same.

  34. To think that we are taught to compare ourselves from such as young age (how the Mother is, is what the baby learns). We need to see ourselves as equal to all others from day one. We would see as very different world.

  35. There is nothing wrong to being a part of life—to experience all that Life offers. But not holding onto the picture of how Life has to be and what these pictures mean—that is whether they signify success or failure etc, it makes committing to life really enjoyable and wondrous.

  36. “the essence of who we are is already everything” – This is something to deeply appreciate, the fact that the ‘all’ is available to us and we are ALREADY everything.. This has nothing to do with our education, appearance, ‘talents’ or wealth, which are things we often measure ourselves by.

  37. The teachings presented by Serge Benhayon that we are already everything must never be undervalued or overlooked, for herein is the key to walking our own path in the truth of who we each naturally are and not in another shoes.

  38. As you expose this awful way of behaving with the energy of comparison and competition Cherise, starting the minute we are born, it is no wonder it feels so much a part of us. Knowing it isn’t, is the start of stopping this way of behaving.

    1. True, we need to be confirmed from the day we are born and all through our childhood, that we ARE already everything, otherwise how can we possibly know, when the majority of the world is reflecting the opposite?

  39. Living our true Quality and our awareness and appreciation of this is seen here and shows the importance of this beautifully.”We are already everything – and it is never too late to raise ourselves in this absolute knowing too.”

  40. When comparison and competition is taken out of our interactions there can be a beautiful harmony and collaboration that can come into play.

  41. With what you have shared Cherise, what must parents feel if there child is born with a disability for example. When we consider the Ageless Wisdom teaching that we are already everything when we are born, imagine how a parents perspective can be supported knowing this as the truth.

    1. Great point you raise here, what you have shared pulls down the array of pictures that we have around what ‘being enough’ actually is. There are many factors that are needed to be understood to truly understand the whole picture of one’s reincarnation but along side this is the important point that before we are even human we are a being that is purity and love (and equally already everything) in essence.

  42. great article Charise, indeed there is comparison and competition engrained in society and by default into babies lives from the very beginning. I recall “a good baby” is one that sleeps through the night, what does that make the other babies? its so ingrained that some even suggest competition is natural and children are born with it.

    1. Yes Joel, the truth is more likely that it (being in comparison and competition) is bestowed upon us from a very early age.

  43. Yes when you observe babies or small children they do not compare or compete naturally with each other but colloborate and naturally seek to connect and share with each other, so this means this competitive and comparison game is an introduced ‘virus’ to our species and not part of our natural make up or lifestyle.

  44. I love what you have expressed here Cherise: ‘Absolutely all of these developments for a small child are important as they grow and develop at their own pace, but what is not important is to compare our own child with what anyone else’s baby is doing’. Yes, the functionality factor is important in a child’s development, and it is very lovely when one’s child appears to be able to digest food, hear and see well etc. ad is growing. But these things pale beside the truth of each Soul’s life, and the opportunity for each baby to grow and take their place in the world using their own unique gift to serve. And one child can certainly never compared with another – a pointless, harming exercise which just feeds the parent’s false pride and need for recognition through their child.

  45. It is great medicine and very good for our health to honour the multi-dimensional being in us all and to realise that we are already everything we need to be before we do anything.

  46. Every single one is unique in our expression bringing an equal part that makes up the whole hence there cannot be ever any comparison or competition when lived from our essence. Therefore, comparison and competition has to be introduced, emotions to keep us separated from who we truly are and from the qualities we inherently bring.

    1. Very true Caroline – the crazy thing is that we are comparing the outside, the facade and the appearances, when truth is we are all in essence unique in our expression – how on earth can we then compare?

  47. ‘We are already everything’ but as long as we don´t embrace that fact we will compare and check how much more someone else has chosen to be what we have not yet chosen – it is the thorn in our flesh that we could be everything but hold on to being less, i.e. the eternal unsettlement.

    1. When we compare like that it is all about self criticism and you can’t help but be beating yourself with a big stick (or worse still the damage you wield on the other person through your thoughts and actions). But the worst thing of all is the missed opportunity to be inspired by another person who is living more of themselves or making more loving choices. They are shining bright so that you may also, rather than trying to squash or belittle them.

  48. ‘From here, a truly healthy relationship with ourselves and others is born, as when we know who we are in essence, we know our quality. When we know our quality, we know that the skills we bring to life are not to be boasted about, or compared to those of others, but are actually there to complement each other.’ I agree totally Cherise, and would like to add that our skills are there to be deeply appreciated – our own and those of others – as the particular way in which we can serve hierarchy for the sake of our brothers.

  49. ‘We are already everything – and it is never too late to raise ourselves in this absolute knowing too.’ Well said Cherise, our ‘absolute knowing’ is with us all the time, just waiting to be accessed.

  50. Even knowing that it is all about our connection to our essence I still struggle to actually make life all about this. I am getting there but it is life times of not living with this focus that and everything around us is telling us the opposite.

  51. ‘that we are amazing by just being ourselves and breathing our own breath and that we behold a beauty that far outshines the brightest star or sunrise ‘ Indeed we are Cherise , thank you for the reminder.

  52. The lifestyles we create of comparison and competition in the world are far more harmful than we realise and incidious in undermining ourselves and others but replaced with appreciation and love this changes everything so simply and joyfully.

  53. Interesting enough the origin of the word comparison stems from ‘to make equal with’ and that is what we do when we try to be like someone else, but as it comes from looking outside and comparing to only what we selectively want to see about the person we compare with we deepen the separation and lose the true state and common base of equality we naturally are united by.

  54. We live in a society that becomes more and more obsessive with recognition and the need to be ‘liked’ and confirmed – it makes a lot of sense what you are sharing here that this need begins from the moment we are introdused to competition and comparison, a constant measuring and judgment of ourselves and others. What a way to set ourselves up for dis-connection, not only to ourselves, but everone and everything around us as well.

  55. What’s interesting here is how babies are monitored and measured on their external features – so as long as that is all being ticked then everyone is doing a good job. But we are so much more than this . Kids are so aware and just feed back to us what is going on around them. And yet we are not supported to pay much attention to this at all.

    1. I notice this too HM, that the focus is so pointed at the words they can say or the new actions they are capable of making but there is so much more than just this going on. We live in a sea of energy and our children are masters of reading it to the core, there is a depth to them that must be fostered and cherished as they grow so that they do not grow up to forget their natural strengths and give these up to fit-in, compare or compete with the everyday simple tasks just because that is what everyone else does or worse, that is all that gets them liked or feeling recognised.

  56. There may be some validity in observing the trend within our own life and around us, but this should never ever take precedence to paying attention to what we can read everything reflected to us in the specific situation we are facing and our innate sense of awareness.

  57. In some countries and cultures, this competition starts before conception in the pressure to have a boy not a girl, and during pregnancy the baby being refered to as a boy for example. We place so much pressure on children to be something from the beginning, is it any wonder that we can see in our younger generation such high rates of mental ill health, alcohol and drug abuse, when they have not been raised to know themselves

    1. So true Rebecca – as a society we have for aeons, used our unborn children as pawns in one ‘power’ game or another – often to secure dynasties, and very often to ‘fulfil’ a huge unspoken unconscious neediness within ourselves. We have not been conscious of the true reason we are born here on earth and what needs to be done i.e. the bring our children up to be ascended masters!

      1. I agree – what if we were to bring children into the world to raise them to be all that they are and fulfil their potential to be who they truly are, rather than modelling them into something we think they should be

  58. “When we know our quality, we know that the skills we bring to life are not to be boasted about, or compared to those of others, but are actually there to complement each other.”- If we could all accept this statement as truth, and see that each of our characteristics and skills work together like all the different organs of the body work together in harmony to make the whole body work, but without any one of those the body breaks down and fails, then we can move forward in a way that is allowing these natural strengths to come out without a need or push from parents or others from birth for us to be a certain way and prove ourselves. Nature itself works more by cooperation than competition, as was inaccurately portrayed by Darwin and accepted as truth without society ever really feeling if it was correct in the first place. Because if Nature was based on competition there would not exist the harmony that is there between species that makes whole ecosystems work and enables them to be so resilient to the impositions of humans and bounce back time and time again. Instead, if competition was the rule in Nature there would probably be total chaos and disharmony, just as there currently exists in human life that is dominated by this high level of competition.

  59. I have two children and it is true in terms of their development many parents often say when what is your child doing when, almost pitting us against each other to see which children is developing quicker, compassion is a big issue. We all have our own path to walk, it is always with everyone else but it is not necessary to be competing with them.

  60. Comparison is a movement that deliberately turns towards the outside away from oneself to seek for something or someone to reflect back that you are different – either better/more or worse/less. Both serve equally the identification of being individual and guarantees a separation between oneself and others. In the movement of comparison we are only able to see what confirms the separation and hence the individuality; the moment we shift our movement towards oneness, equality, appreciation comparison no longer exists. Comparison is an artificial creation that only exists as long as we make it exist.

  61. “We are already everything – and it is never too late to raise ourselves in this absolute knowing too.” A gorgeous reminder that we are indeed everything from day dot and we can connect to this knowing anytime and anywhere, shows us the power of being ourselves and the quality of this connection then brings to the all. Thank you Cherise.

  62. If we go into competitive comparison it stops us from appreciating the true beauty that is already there in ourselves and others; focusing just on the surface level, whether that be looks or skills, blinds us to the energetic quality that is being expressed, and to appreciating the essence within us all.

  63. The moment I am in comparison I am in self, making it all about myself, reducing life to be only about me. Therefore one way to subtract oneself out of comparison and self is making it about everyone equally, to open up to being with people, knowing oneself to be a part of the greater whole where everyone plays an essential role and no one is more or less than another.

  64. I never liked competition. But I went along with it because everybody else was doing it. Not a good reason to do anything.
    By remembering myself, with support from Simple Living Global, I am feeling again the destructiveness of competition, and have stopped playing any sports or games.

  65. A brilliant observation Cherise, how we are ‘measured’ from the first days of our existence and so quickly learn to measure ourselves to an external barometer. For me this last week has been a gorgeous exploration of simply feeling and being the innate quality I have inside. Without perfection, I can easily see there is an effortless outplay of that quality, rather than always trying to be something else.

  66. ‘… we’ll know who we are first and foremost: we’ll stand on a solidness within us where competition and comparison can’t even touch the sides!’ Knowing who we are and being in the joy of that connection is living pure, unadulterated, absolute Love.

  67. External markers of difference and so called development is given much more attention than the true essence of a person. Time to turn that inside out and honour what is innate beautiful and complimentary in us all and let’s appreciate the divinity clear to see in every baby, child and adult.

  68. From my own experience returning to the quality that is within me has been a journey of self discovery. To find that I have a wealth of deep beauty that I have chosen at some time to hide or not claim it as my own, seems now to be quite ridiculous, how silly! What I do know is that I am not special and that we are all special, and what I have rediscovered within me is waiting to be rediscovered in all of us.

  69. Great post Cherise. “we are filled with pictures of how life should be, what makes one successful and what a secure lifestyle consists of.” Comparison and competition do start from day one. Babies are compared with each other, from when they smile, to sit unaided, to walking and talking. This doesn’t stop throughout the educational years – with top grades and exam passes, then entrance to universities and degrees. What sort of a world are we introducing our young ones into? Left to their own devices, they probably wouldn’t care, unless we as adults introduce them to a system where it is important not to be seen to fail.

  70. I love what you’re presenting here with this blog. “Their physical characteristics, developments and patterns are what make up most of the conversations between us as parents and also with our healthcare professionals.” I also experienced this when raising my children – the measuring never stops – it continues through school and beyond. It is such a setup and leads to a constant feeling of dissatisfaction when in truth we are all naturally divine yet by focusing on the external we completely overlook and thus dismiss the true beauty that is within.

    1. This is also what this sharing made me aware of Deborah – how the measure up against something outside of us can start so early. And you are now adding to it the fact that it then can continue throughout life.

  71. An enormous YES to your 2nd paragraph Cherise, about comparison and competition and ‘ are we then missing the simplicity of the connection within ourselves and with others that we all naturally seek?’ In this simplicity lies the entree into the most exquisite and powerful realm of true love and the universality from which we all originate. Otherwise we are trapped in the agony and desolation of competition and comparison.

  72. That’s a really great insight of how as soon as a baby is born there is already comparison and measurements against ‘parameters’ – I had never considered that before until reading your blog. Great to have this awareness.

  73. Jealousy has played a huge role in my life, sabotaging relationships, keeping people at arms’ length, turning me judgementally and cruelly on myself… I love this article for the inspiration, wisdom and support. Thank you.

  74. Comparison and competition are deeply intrenched in our world.
    It is time to stop the belief that humans are naturally competitive. It is all about being honored for who you are rather then what you do.
    Thank you Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for presenting another way to live.

  75. Thank you Serge Benhayon who teaches us to meet another in our and their, essence. And then we can see that we are all equally amazing.

  76. If we could appreciate what we could all bring in essence, then comparison is dead in the water with nothing to feed upon.

  77. ” that when we are born we are already everything… and there is nothing we will ever do or not do that can change this unwavering fact ”
    This truth is really amazing, and to consider how humanity does not want to accept this fact.

  78. From as early as I can remember competition was part and parcel of my life and presented as part of human nature. Having it presented as not being so instinctively felt true even though it is contrary to how I was brought up. What a joy, even if challenging, it is to endeavour to eradicate it from my life.

  79. If we used all the energy from comparison and competition to truly invest in ourselves, this world would very quickly evolve and become the harmonious place we all deserve it to be.

  80. ‘Absolutely all of these developments for a small child are important as they grow and develop at their own pace, but what is not important is to compare our own child with what anyone else’s baby is doing: nor is it a healthy practice to become fixated on these developments or associate them with successful parenting or a successful child.’ As I was reading your wise words about comparison Cherise, I realised (from a feeling within me) why we do this strange measuring against one another with baby rearing, and it strongly has to do with safety – the sense that our child is okay, doing well, or even doing ‘better’ than others. It is all for the sake of safety – something we all so desperately seek because of the the eternal unrest within us because we have not been living from our essence, but from the separated state of the spirit. What a wonderful thing to break this consciousness. Thank you Cherise.

  81. If we step back a moment to consider the big picture of life we can see the that we actually spend the later years of our lives unraveling the way we lived. That is letting go of the push, the identification, the striving to be a certain way. When the natural ageing process starts or we are initiated by ill-health, we start to appreciated what truly matters in life, and no one ever says it’s about being the best anything. It’s always much more about the loving opportunities with people that are possible.

  82. ‘We are already everything’ knowing this really changes everything. Growing up we are taught to seek and attain knowledge and skills ultimately for security and to get through life ad fulfill a set of goals and ideals. But for me I found none of these satisfied me and always left me empty wanting more. The only true contentment I have ever found has been from reconnecting to the love I am and not seeking anything from outside of me. The more I have looked out the more I have reacted and been hurt by the world and others and conversely the more I have gone inward the more love I have felt for myself and others.

  83. One of my first memories at a very young age was being put in a running race with other kids with the emphasis obviously on winning the race. For a start what does it matter at that age and also it just sets you up as early as possible to enter a life of competing when it could be cooperating instead. Maybe the race could have been obstacles that we each had to help each other over to get to the end with no winners or losers.

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