Baby milestones – the Beginning of an Unhealthy Lifestyle in Comparison and Competition

We may consider it to be a normal part of everyday life to observe or be swept up in comparison or competition. Men perform for the top spots in business, the fastest legs on the field or the grungiest, hotted up car: we see them competing to ‘get the girl’, to have the most laid-back lifestyle, honours at university or even to drink others ‘under the table’. With women, we see the comparison in our looks, the bikini bodies (or lack-thereof), the hair and all external features, really… From women’s relationships with men, colleagues and friends, to how much and what we eat, business accomplishments, exercise style and how we breastfeed, there aren’t many aspects of life, if any, that have not yet been compared to and competed for.

Is this really healthy?

Where does comparison and competition begin?

After having a baby of my own, it’s apparent to me that a lifestyle rich in comparison and competition and the seeking to be recognised for anything and everything that we do begins early – from day dot. Potentially this way of living has actually already been set up to begin this way from conception, as we are born into a world where competition and comparison are experienced as the norm: we are filled with pictures of how life should be, what makes one successful and what a secure lifestyle consists of. But with our focus placed on competing for and achieving what these pictures promise, are we then missing the simplicity of the connection within ourselves and with others that we all naturally seek?

I have noticed for myself that babies are categorised by their head circumference and their length, their birth weight and how much they drink, whether they are breast or bottle fed, how much they poop and of course at what month do they begin to eat solids, sleep through, where they sleep, and when they first smile, crawl, talk and walk. Their physical characteristics, developments and patterns are what make up most of the conversations between us as parents and also with our healthcare professionals.

Absolutely all of these developments for a small child are important as they grow and develop at their own pace, but what is not important is to compare our own child with what anyone else’s baby is doing: nor is it a healthy practice to become fixated on these developments or associate them with successful parenting or a successful child.

Becoming distracted by these external considerations pulls us away from the truth of the Ageless Wisdom presented by Serge Benhayon that when we are born we are already everything… and there is nothing we will ever do or not do that can change this unwavering fact

When we are raised to know this – that the essence of who we are is already everything, that we are made of love and pure Divinity prior to conception and that this never ever changes, that we are amazing by just being ourselves and breathing our own breath and that we behold a beauty that far outshines the brightest star or sunrise – we are given the space to live a completely different lifestyle… perhaps one that is truly healthy!

Yes, we are still going to grow, walk and fall over. We’ll learn all the lessons life brings our way, reaching our milestones, getting the awards, the relationship or the job and be categorised as ‘average’, ‘above’ or ‘below,’ but the important part here is that it won’t really matter what we do because we’ll know who we are first and foremost: we’ll stand on a solidness within us where competition and comparison can’t even touch the sides!

Of course, not many of us as adults can say that we were educated and fostered as children to be, and to know, the essence of who we are before all else, and hence live a truly healthy lifestyle, free of the seeking or need to be recognised, or free of competition and comparison. But the fact remains:

We are already everythingand it is never too late to raise ourselves in this absolute knowing too.

From here, a truly healthy relationship with ourselves and others is born, as when we know who we are in essence, we know our quality. When we know our quality, we know that the skills we bring to life are not to be boasted about, or compared to those of others, but are actually there to complement each other. Our men are then supported to share the skills they have with others and truly work together, whilst women, when free of comparison, are in the harmony of being truly inspired by each other and our collective choices.

All of this is the beginning of a healthy lifestyle, discarding the separation that comparison and competition only serve to spread and supporting us all to feel equal, whilst appreciating more deeply the qualities we are and that we bring.

I have begun to appreciate the relationship and health benefits in those students of The Way of The Livingness who are choosing to practise this way of living for themselves.

Deeply inspired by the presentations of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, for reawakening me to my true essence and reflecting to me the importance of living this in my everyday.

By Cherise Holt, 33, Nurse, Mother and Woman re-acquainted with her True self

Related Reading:
A Life of Comparison
Competition and self-esteem: Turning the tide on competition and comparison in schools
The Beauty of Meeting Children and Allowing Them to Be

681 thoughts on “Baby milestones – the Beginning of an Unhealthy Lifestyle in Comparison and Competition

  1. Without any comparison would we have all the turmoil that is going on in the world today? Maybe life would have a completely different reflection as we would all be able to Love without any jealousy and thus be harmonious❤️ in all our relationships!

  2. This sentence really caught my attention
    ‘when we are born we are already everything… and there is nothing we will ever do or not do that can change this unwavering fact’
    I can feel how fall for the lie that the ‘everything’ is completely squashed out of us like tooth paste from its tube. So that we have no idea that we are ‘everything’ and are instead riddled with self doubt, nervous tension, anxiety, self worth issues which we take on as our persona instead. If it wasn’t for Serge Benhayon bringing awareness to the way we live we would all still be crushed by the weight of not living to our true potential. I have to ask the question who out of the 7.5 billion of us living on this planet is living to their full potential, not many.

  3. “When we know our quality, we know that the skills we bring to life are not to be boasted about, or compared to those of others, but are actually there to complement each other.” Brotherhood shows us that we are all equal and needed, from that foundation we can see every different expression and skill as needed and contributing to the whole, like different notes in the one song.

  4. Comparison and competition cripple us and are cheep ways of keeping us from the connection to our essences, inner-most-hearts / Souls and when we understand this relationship we can return to the wheels of evolution.

  5. I had a meal with some friends recently and we were discussing comparison which is endemic in our society. We picked apart just how evil it is to compare to each other as it keeps us all in the state of individuality and in this state we have accepted the blinkers that then keep us separated from each other. And there’s the trick we have all fallen for ‘separation’ from each other when the complete opposite is true it is in our best interest to work together as a collective so that we can support each other to get out of this plane of life. When we work together in harmony much can be achieved.

  6. “we are filled with pictures of how life should be” We have to put away the mental photograph album and feel the innate beauty and wonder of who we, and everyone else, naturally are in our essence. There is nothing to compare in the glory of the Universe.

  7. Comparison starts so young….. from when a baby smiles back at a parent, rolling over, sitting unaided…. and on it goes. All pointless as we all learn to sit, walk and talk in time. Children learn from their parents. Would we compare if we haven’t been taught to, however subtly?

  8. Everyone develops at their own pace, from baby into adulthood. None of us know every detail of another’s lives so comparison is pointless, just leading us to feel less worthy ourselves or, in arrogance, as feeling better than others. All non-evolving.

  9. When we go into comparison we are in a place where we feel less. Learning to appreciate in love who we are and what we bring in full, whilst appreciating with love what another brings in full also, cuts the comparison and jealousy.

    1. Appreciation helps counteract comparison and jealousy, our attention is put on how amazing we, and, or, another is, and if we are consistent with appreciation then this just grows and expands.

  10. “We are already everything – and it is never too late to raise ourselves in this absolute knowing too. Awesome, thank you Cherise, I love being reminded of this again. I will now go of to bed in the knowing that I am already everything!

  11. By the time we reach teenage years, the jealousy and comparison can be excruciating and the feelings of inadequacy are blown way out of proportion. Is it any wonder when we are groomed to be this way from birth – nothing in society is set up to honour us for who we are from the inside out.

    I used to sculpt and I love faces, all shapes and sizes, with all the intricacies of the features – there is no such thing as an ugly face because everyone has something to reflect to the world. Their smile, their eyes, the shape, even the size of the nose has a purpose, the angles presented, how beautiful they are or the texture. These things are not random they are by grand design and are that way for a purpose.

    1. Julie what a great reminder that we present an angle to the universe and to make physical changes to our bodies obviously changes our reflection back into the space of the multidimensional intelligence that we call the universe. We have forgotten that we are all part of a grand design in our quest to be individual.

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