We may consider it to be a normal part of everyday life to observe or be swept up in comparison or competition. Men perform for the top spots in business, the fastest legs on the field or the grungiest, hotted up car: we see them competing to ‘get the girl’, to have the most laid-back lifestyle, honours at university or even to drink others ‘under the table’. With women, we see the comparison in our looks, the bikini bodies (or lack-thereof), the hair and all external features, really… From women’s relationships with men, colleagues and friends, to how much and what we eat, business accomplishments, exercise style and how we breastfeed, there aren’t many aspects of life, if any, that have not yet been compared to and competed for.
Is this really healthy?
Where does comparison and competition begin?
After having a baby of my own, it’s apparent to me that a lifestyle rich in comparison and competition and the seeking to be recognised for anything and everything that we do begins early – from day dot. Potentially this way of living has actually already been set up to begin this way from conception, as we are born into a world where competition and comparison are experienced as the norm: we are filled with pictures of how life should be, what makes one successful and what a secure lifestyle consists of. But with our focus placed on competing for and achieving what these pictures promise, are we then missing the simplicity of the connection within ourselves and with others that we all naturally seek?
I have noticed for myself that babies are categorised by their head circumference and their length, their birth weight and how much they drink, whether they are breast or bottle fed, how much they poop and of course at what month do they begin to eat solids, sleep through, where they sleep, and when they first smile, crawl, talk and walk. Their physical characteristics, developments and patterns are what make up most of the conversations between us as parents and also with our healthcare professionals.
Absolutely all of these developments for a small child are important as they grow and develop at their own pace, but what is not important is to compare our own child with what anyone else’s baby is doing: nor is it a healthy practice to become fixated on these developments or associate them with successful parenting or a successful child.
Becoming distracted by these external considerations pulls us away from the truth of the Ageless Wisdom presented by Serge Benhayon that when we are born we are already everything… and there is nothing we will ever do or not do that can change this unwavering fact
When we are raised to know this – that the essence of who we are is already everything, that we are made of love and pure Divinity prior to conception and that this never ever changes, that we are amazing by just being ourselves and breathing our own breath and that we behold a beauty that far outshines the brightest star or sunrise – we are given the space to live a completely different lifestyle… perhaps one that is truly healthy!
Yes, we are still going to grow, walk and fall over. We’ll learn all the lessons life brings our way, reaching our milestones, getting the awards, the relationship or the job and be categorised as ‘average’, ‘above’ or ‘below,’ but the important part here is that it won’t really matter what we do because we’ll know who we are first and foremost: we’ll stand on a solidness within us where competition and comparison can’t even touch the sides!
Of course, not many of us as adults can say that we were educated and fostered as children to be, and to know, the essence of who we are before all else, and hence live a truly healthy lifestyle, free of the seeking or need to be recognised, or free of competition and comparison. But the fact remains:
We are already everything – and it is never too late to raise ourselves in this absolute knowing too.
From here, a truly healthy relationship with ourselves and others is born, as when we know who we are in essence, we know our quality. When we know our quality, we know that the skills we bring to life are not to be boasted about, or compared to those of others, but are actually there to complement each other. Our men are then supported to share the skills they have with others and truly work together, whilst women, when free of comparison, are in the harmony of being truly inspired by each other and our collective choices.
All of this is the beginning of a healthy lifestyle, discarding the separation that comparison and competition only serve to spread and supporting us all to feel equal, whilst appreciating more deeply the qualities we are and that we bring.
I have begun to appreciate the relationship and health benefits in those students of The Way of The Livingness who are choosing to practise this way of living for themselves.
By Cherise Holt, 33, Nurse, Mother and Woman re-acquainted with her True self