in - Self Care | Self Love, - Self Worth & Acceptance, MENTAL HEALTH 1,047 Words

The Changing Face of Frugality

Where does frugality come from? Is it good or bad? Is it something that is entrenched in the way we are raised and determined by our parents’ outlook on life and their financial standing? Is it lingering from times of war and depression? Why is it so entrenched in Christianity? Is it only about money or does it permeate much deeper than dollars and cents alone?

These are questions that have arisen over recent times as I begin to realise that I have lived my life with no true connection to who I truly am, just a reduced version of the real me that I now know is an avoidance of the responsibility I have to bring my true power to everything I do. This way of living life is the polar opposite of how it can be and as I unpick each layer built up to cover my true essence, I look into the nooks and crannies of what has influenced me throughout my life.

I grew up in very modest post war means, living in Government supported housing. My father had fought in WWII and was employed in a longstanding job, as many did in those days, but as I see it now, well below his capabilities.

Our life was simple – we never owned a car – so I caught the bus to school and we walked everywhere we could, and I still enjoy walking wherever I can. Otherwise it was public transport and groceries were delivered from the store in the city out to us in the suburbs. Growing up, nothing was wasted yet there was no feeling of abundance except at Christmas time, when we would buy a Christmas hamper with all sorts of goodies, including some we didn’t like, and Dad would buy a live chicken from the nearby chicken farm, and slaughter it for us for Christmas Dinner.

I started dressmaking at a young age, and remember being very proud of my outfit for my Year 8 School Fair (age 13), where I met my first boyfriend. From then on I made nearly all of my clothes including swimsuits, business attire and then my wedding gown. I remember that it cost me $33 for the fabric and pattern, when something similar would have cost many hundreds of dollars, if not more.

Frugality had permeated my way of life, and it was partnering up with my then undetected lack of self-worth, to become something different. It was about minimalist living, saving as much as possible and doing as much work as possible, negating what my body may have been telling me. There was no thought of taking a break and most long weekends were for doing bigger projects around the house.

Along came the children: one, two, three! I loved being pregnant. I loved having babies. I loved being a wife and mother. But somewhere along the way I lost loving me and it was about everyone else. The changing face of frugality extended to not even considering there should be some time devoted to my self-nurturing. Every moment was filled with chores and projects; so much so that I recall feeling so accomplished that I could squeeze even more into my day. Frugality became about short changing myself from the abundance that I truly am.

Making the family’s clothes, growing vegetables, baking bread, cakes and biscuits and every meal from scratch, learning how to be the family hairdresser – all this, even when I went back to work. This face of frugality was intertwined with every decision.

So, you may ask, in how many ways can one see frugality differently? Here are but a few I have discovered:

Being frugal with:

My time –

Doing things as fast as possible, and not in the quality that I now know to be me in activities such as:

  • Housekeeping
  • Shopping
  • Cooking
  • Gardening
  • Walking and exercising
  • Doing tasks at work and returning to my desk by cutting corners and bumping into edges.

My tenderness –

  • Not cuddling my babies off to sleep, but letting them settle in their cot so I could get on to the next task (I definitely did not want to ‘spoil’ them, as the belief was in those times)
  • Not pegging and folding washing in a tender way, but as quickly as possible
  • Applying creams, lotions and makeup at lightning speed.

My expression –

  • Not speaking up about how I feel
  • Not sharing with others the many ideas that pop into my awareness
  • Swallowing hurts
  • Not allowing myself space to grieve the sudden death of my mother when I had a new baby, a 2-year-old and a 4-year-old to care for.

Fast forward to my introduction to Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon, who bring everything back to love. I have been re-introduced to true abundance and am still grasping how to live that every day. Why would I not take the time to gently and lovingly apply cleanser, toner and moisturiser to my face, lotion to my body – how much extra time and tenderness does it take? Being frugal is being turned around, yet again, and I am learning to spend time with me in preparation for each day.

From an untrue use of frugality towards true abundance – discovering pockets where this twist of frugality is hiding and calling it out – is an ongoing process and I’m learning from others much younger than me to not short cut my own needs (being frugal) to satisfy another.

Abundance abounds through my devotion to self-nurturing and self-love, which leads to self-worth through appreciation and confirmation of who I am. Abundance abounds, and I am learning to allow myself to feel it with every breath. No more ‘that will do’ when I feel to do something differently. I just made myself an omelette, so I took the time to pick some parsley from the garden, to take some (previously prepared in the true nature of frugality) kale and onion from the freezer, to include some roast vegies from the fridge and some spices too. Frugality and abundance working together!

By NP, an elder with great wisdom to share, and more yet to discover, Australia

Related Reading:
Self-Care is not Selfish
Re-Learning to Self-Worth
Cleaning up my Mess – True Self Care or Keeping up Appearances?

740 thoughts on “The Changing Face of Frugality”

  1. I really appreciate what you have shared here
    “Fast forward to my introduction to Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon, who bring everything back to love. I have been re-introduced to true abundance and am still grasping how to live that every day. Why would I not take the time to gently and lovingly apply cleanser, toner and moisturiser to my face, lotion to my body – how much extra time and tenderness does it take? Being frugal is being turned around, yet again, and I am learning to spend time with me in preparation for each day.”
    I have found that it is worth getting up early in the morning so that there is time to take care of myself with no rush before going to work.

  2. Feelings of frugality can be linked to periods of war, and can be passed down through the generations; how great to nominate this and let it go.

  3. Gorgeous to read how your abundance is now flourishing, ‘Abundance abounds through my devotion to self-nurturing and self-love, which leads to self-worth through appreciation and confirmation of who I am.’

  4. Is frugality a full-time job of keeping ourselves away from who we all truly are? When we are stingy with time, are we ignoring and denying space?

  5. I’m all up for being savvy with my food shop, or building a wooden planter for my balcony for a fraction of a pre-made one. However being skimpy on my love, tenderness and expression is not cool.

  6. When we start to understand how being frugal, relates to us when coming from energetic point of view, as discerned from the Latin roots, it is to not allow the spirit to have any say and then we are connecting to our Essences, Inner-most-hearts, / Souls and thus deepen our awareness of the abundance we can live from this connection.

  7. I often see this more and more, parents slaving for others and the appreciation goes out the window. There’s a glimmer of hope that one day, there is pay back or a trade off, that they will be cared for in their elderly life. What do we see more and more is the opposite, a wonder that nursing homes have gone up world wide, a sad state of affairs.

    I hadn’t heard of the word. ‘frugality’, I had to look it up in the dictionary, and now I understand its meaning, I felt I was frugal with money, and it came from my ancestors and to the point I often went without. The belief that you save for a rainy day or for the children. Rainy days came and went, children were never born and one day it changed, thanks to my partners bucket list. The list of having a luxurious car and when we received her, it was so worth it and we were also deserving of her.

    It is time for us and what supports us and our every day living. So what’s next? We shall wait and see…

    1. The older generation had a very different life to us, many having lived through the war, and so having lived with rationing, ‘Frugality had permeated my way of life, and it was partnering up with my then undetected lack of self-worth’. Great to stand back and observe how we have been living.

  8. “my introduction to Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon, who bring everything back to love.” The deepening awareness that Love is boundless and is the essence of us all.

  9. I think it can be very powerful to question how we are in life in such a way that we discover that we are not the true version of ourselves. We are living in a false reality that we have made into a reality. And it is not until we start to pick apart the layers that make up this false reality that we start to catch a glimpse of the real us, the quality of who we truly are. Those nooks and crannies that you speak of can seem very daunting as we bring notice to them but if they are exposed to the full light of day the angst of self worth, anxiousness, pleasing other people, all our hurts etc., just melt away and we are left in the true power of who we truly are. The nearest analogy I have found so far is it’s a bit like being a caterpillar and turning into a chrysalis and then finding your a Butterfly it is the most amazing transformation to go through and worth it to become the Butterfly. The Butterfly has wings to soar back to God the universe.

    1. I love your analogy Mary. To discover that I was already carrying around the butterfly within when I thought I was just a caterpillar was a huge revelation. All I had to do was connect to it.

  10. When we cut ourselves off from our true essence, we are the ones being frugal. This can then reflect itself in the way we do things. I love how NP has shared in this blog about enriching her life with love and tenderness etc as a means to plump up and fullfill life in its true sense.

    1. When we are connected to our true essence, not matter how much or how little money we have, we are appreciative of the abundance that is on offer.

    2. Henrietta, life is living enriched with things that are supportive for us. When we live for others, life is then arduous and exhausting. When we enrich it for ourselves, it is a different ball game. You can certainly feel the difference, try it and observe, you can certainly feel the differences…

    3. Coming to the realisation that we deserve love, caring and nurturing too, ‘ The changing face of frugality extended to not even considering there should be some time devoted to my self-nurturing. Every moment was filled with chores and projects; so much so that I recall feeling so accomplished that I could squeeze even more into my day.’

  12. I keep coming back to this blog because every time I read it I discover something else about it that resonates with me. Because I too and I would say many others are living or have lived their lives disconnected from themselves and this leads to a reduced way of living and I suspect that this is why we have so much mental ill health in our society.

    1. We know that there is so much more to life and the disappointment and hurt as children when we are told it is not what we know and we are forced into a reduced version of it does far, far more damage to our emotional health than we would care to admit.

    2. I agree Mary, being connected with ourselves is so important for our wellbeing. Great that you, NP, are now allowing time for yourself, ‘Being frugal is being turned around, yet again, and I am learning to spend time with me in preparation for each day.’

  13. This is absolute gold. I love hearing about your life and on reflection can feel how important it is for our younger generation to hear these stories as well, especially in a time where everything is on tap or at the click of a button, this should be part of the PSHE curriculum … hearing about lived experience from others. There is much to appreciate here and I am sure you have some more gold to share. In writing this last sentence it is clear to see the wealth we have in our lived experiences, putting a completely different perspective on the meaning of wealth and of course gold.

  14. This is a great blog to reflect on as on reflection I realised I have been very frugal with myself, I have not allowed myself to be truly seen for who I am. I know this stems from childhood when my bubbly personality wasn’t wanted, so I dulled myself down and stayed that way for years. This all changed when I met Serge Benhayon and with his support I’m slowly coming out of my hermit shell and embracing life once again. Thank you deeply Serge, you saw in me that spark that no one else was bothered to see.

  15. What stood out for me was your meeting of Serge Benhayon who as you say brings everything back to love. What is it about this word that bring up so much in human-beings? It is a word that is in constant daily use all over the world and it is something we all hanker after. But when the purity of love is presented we run a million miles from it. Could it be that as a race of human-beings we have been fed such a lie when it comes to love, so much so that we have been totally corrupted so we are living a false truth and because of this we are so lost that when we are presented with true love and how to simply reconnect to it we abuse the messenger rather than look at why we have corrupted the word love and our lack of it.

  16. Being frugal in the way you describe, NP in terms of time, tenderness and expression feels like an energetic pinching… short of space and room. In the past, I can also see how I have been frugal with my time, tenderness, expression and even money which kept me trapped in a box, whereas loosening my grip has allowed life to open up in all sorts of ways.

  17. “Abundance abounds through my devotion to self-nurturing and self-love, which leads to self-worth through appreciation and confirmation of who I am.” So true we can have all the riches in the world and still be poor if we do not have true self love.

  18. Thank you N.P. Frugality was definitely part of my untaught education and I can see how it has coloured my behaviours and my outlook when it is not my natural tendency. Great to ponder on this further.

    1. Well said Elaine, frugality is something that is ingrained in some of us as you have said in the ‘untaught education’ – and as Yoda from Star Wars so wisely said, there are many things we learned that need to be unlearned.

    2. We pick up by reflection far more than we think and far more than anything the education system teaches us. It is our primary mode of learning and if we are not energetically aware then it can seep into our consciousness which we take on, barely registering what we are doing.

    3. Yes Elaine, frugality was evident in the female side of my family, ‘But somewhere along the way I lost loving me and it was about everyone else.’

  19. Being frugal perpetuates a belief of not being enough, while being responsible and mindful is the foundation for abundance.

  20. Quality, appreciation, responsibility and love is a great recipe for abundance

  21. Abundance comes not from the numbers and activities, it comes from our capacity to connect and stay connected and feel ourselves and others.

  22. There is nothing wrong with saving money and saving it through recycling and making our own things as opposed to buying them pre-made but we must ask at what expense this comes (pun intended)…for if we suffer unduly from this ‘saving’ then it is no real saving indeed.

  23. There is an abundance to life in bringing ourselves fully to all its moments and not rushing through so as to get onto the next activity and the next.

  24. Everything I do for me at the beginning and end of the day supports the foundation that I am building that holds me during the day – gradually my love and respect for myself becomes evident in all that I do and like- wise if I drop from this it is felt by everyone.

    1. How we live has a big impact on those around us, ‘From an untrue use of frugality towards true abundance – discovering pockets where this twist of frugality is hiding and calling it out – is an ongoing process and I’m learning from others much younger than me to not short cut my own needs (being frugal) to satisfy another.’ What a great learning.

      1. LJ Is it possible that in our disconnection to God and the Universe we live in, we have accepted a lesser life one of frugality rather than the abundance that is continually on offer?

  25. If we do not appreciate out true worth we will take measures to preserve what we perceive to be of worth in place of this.

  26. Abundance isn’t really about money. It’s a feeling and it can come when you have very little in the way of material things. As the article suggests it comes from the way we are with ourselves and how much love and care we offer ourselves.

  27. NP you are indeed a elder with great wisdom to share. This line was a standout for me today – “a reduced version of the real me that I now know is an avoidance of the responsibility I have to bring my true power to everything I do”. I realise I do this to and am exposing that more and more in my life where I do it. Fascinating exercise.

  28. I enjoyed reading this NP, thank you. ‘No more ‘that will do’ is a great message to take from your blog. Abundance is not dependent on the outer it comes from a full-embodied loving commitment to oneself in expression.

  29. Thank you NP, I really enjoyed reading this. I grew up with relatives telling me about the Depression and how little they had and how they made ends meet. It was a necessity at the time. I suppose the problem is we can carry things through generations that may no longer be needed, nor truly loving or supportive for ourselves. I’m a big fan of valuing and caring for things I have, not perfectly, but that comes from appreciating the value of material items. What I didn’t understand though was how precious I was and how to deeply care for me and my worth in this world. That’s also a common generational belief, to place others before ourselves. What I appreciate about the Ageless Wisdom and the work presented by Universal Medicine is as I return to my soul everything that is not loving comes up to be examined and discarded. It’s truly a beautiful way to live as it allows me to let go of what’s not true and live what is.

  30. There are so many words and concepts which have been twisted over time and thus in their use keep misleading and misdirecting us from the conscious awareness of and living in line with our Soul. It is absurd that we can claim each of us can have our own personal truth and many versions of it can stand side by side, because anything that is not in line with the expression of the Soul, the order of the Universe and the oneness of the All that we belong to, can only ever be just a twisted imposter of what is actually true.

  31. How we treat us should never be less than how we naturally treat a new born baby.

    1. Great point Stefanie, and why would we want to treat ourselves less? The delicateness, fragility, and beauty are still within us, so it makes sense to treat ourselves the way we would treat a new born baby. 

  32. How can we ever not spoil someone with love? True love knows no limits, every belief of needing to reduce or set boundaries with it cannot ever be true then.

  33. Reading this what I felt is how so much has changed over generations over a period of not many years in that your generation were brought up to appreciate what they had, even if it was little, make the most of what they had for example food and making it into meals for the next day, clothes and valuing and committing jobs to jobs working hard. Now however it seems we always want more, before we have finished the next goal, meal etc we want the next one there is far less appreciation for what we have. Things are made more cheaply and not with the same quality and care it is a constant turnover of production and the impact on our earth and society globally is felt. I was recently speaking with a young person and they said ‘why should I travel on public transport and be depressed when I could drive a ferrari and be depressed?’ I asked them would their main focus not be dealing with the depression first? It seems about what we have rather than who we are. What I really love here is that when you speak of abundance you speak of the abundance of loving you. We can learn a lot from what you have shared here.

    1. I love the way you have expanded this topic and pinpointed some of the differences in growing up today as opposed to the post-war years. Generational change is inevitable and is in understanding each other that we can appreciate what each generation can bring to humanity.

    1. It is the purpose of things, that helps to get out of untrue frugality and abundance. The moment we connect with what is needed, like you said Monica, issues and beliefs can´t take so much space as it is not about an ideal, which is narrow and small, but about a much bigger picture and everyone else equally in that moment.

  35. “The Changing Face of Frugality” – in my experience, when there is a deep connection to the body and a love for the body, frugality’s opposite of abundance is apparent and palpable.

  36. As soon as I read the title and opening lines of this article today I realised that we endlessly thwart ourselves with rules, often which oppose or contradict each other (frugality vs. being generous for example), but all that get in the way of having a present, honest, and ever-developing relationship with ourselves, others and our place in the world. If I am adhering to a rule there is laziness, apathy and/or resignation that does not question and explore what actually makes sense and truly supports and serves.

  37. Like so many things that I am doing now a days, I am being supported to go deeper into the real reason that I do them.
    Am I being frugal because it is the right thing to do, or am I denying myself something because deep down I do not think I deserve it? Feeling the difference in these two choices is important.
    If I am doing things because deep down I do not feel I deserve it, that is a totally different energy then doing it from love.

    1. Yes Ken, I totally agree. Isn’t it wonderful that we now are so much more aware of the difference in the energy behind an action? Thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for opening our eyes to what we have not clearly seen, or likely have shut down, over our lifetime/s, enabling us to go deeper with our every step.

  38. Right and wrong, good and bad – they sit on a completely different denominator from Truth. A belief is a belief and correcting or bettering a ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ belief does not take us to truth.

  39. So often during my life I have witnessed the abundance of nature, and I have often reflected on this as the way I could live my life. However no so, as I was born into a family where we had our basic needs were met, yet there was never an abundance in our lives and to some extent I am still living with this poverty consciousness. Of lately this is beginning to change, as I now shop for myself with more awareness and love, making sure I really love what I am buying for myself and not because it comes with a good price. So things are finally changing in the way that I am with myself in the shopping process.

  40. “a reduced version of the real me that I now know is an avoidance of the responsibility I have to bring my true power to everything I do”. I was angry yesterday and saw that I was being this to also be an reduced version of me to avoid taking responsibility and bring my true power. It is quite incredible – when you think about it – to have that awareness of what we do because once you have that awareness, you can then bring about change.

    1. I love your comment Sarah, and I agree awareness is so key to change. I had a lovely conversation with someone today about how important expression is, as we all have different strengths and are aware of different things and when we express our angle in conversation others receive more awareness of the topic. When we come together and express we can accelerate each other’s ability to grow, change and evolve through awareness.

  42. Being frugal as you have described it is abusing our body as we hold our love back. It is truly entrenched in Christianity, it is a sacrifice for the good cause but there is no true connection with God.

    1. True connection with God has no restraint but an endless pouring of LOVE on offer for ALL.

  43. What comes to me is that frugality as such is not something that necessarily reduces us it is more when we start to identify with it and make it the only way to be.

  44. In reality, we dont ‘need’ to have lots of possessions around us in order to sustain a life of purpose. In fact too many possessions simply hinders our true way of being and creates delay.

  45. I’ve never known the word ‘frugality’, and I don’t even know if I’m saying it right in my head when I read this. But I am very aware of what it feels like to hold back and that to me, is no different to poverty. Many are starving for who they truly are and this is something no famine campaign can quench.

  46. It is so true… Everything must come back to love… Otherwise whether it is frugality, or overindulgence, whatever it is, it will be empty without that true and deep connection to who we truly are

  47. This exposes how much frugality can play out in our lives and offers the reader much to ponder on how it plays out for them.

  48. In everyday life it is so important to be observing when we go into autopilot and are thinking ‘that will do’ as that is often when we stop feeling what we truly need to nurture and care for ourselves.

  49. Being frugal with money has often been bastardised with the belief of being a ‘penny pincher’ or making the ‘dollar stretch’ yet underneath this lies the way of living and working with money were there is no fear but a responsibility to work with it where it offers you the support you require and in return you respect how it is used to support ones livingness.

  50. When we are frugal with ourselves it leaves us wanting more and the danger with that is that we can look for what we feel is missing outside of ourselves rather than allowing ourselves to go deeper within.

    1. So True Elizabeth, we seek to quench the thirst within with the outer when all that is within is the only drink we need.

  53. Being frugal is always a balancing act, because there is still much we can do to support ourselves without having to spend money, and there are also some things that improve our quality of life that if you put a value on them are priceless, all we need to do is to discern for ourselves and much can change through a few changes in our choices.

  54. The problem with frugality as partner of life, is that it only allows you to see scarcity. Frugality is the lenses through which you live life and you govern the relationship with yourself and others. It a pattern of movement that cannot allow even to conceive that there might be riches to be found anywhere, even less inside of you.

  55. Being frugal used to be seen as something to be proud of, but we don’t realise that if we are frugal in one part of our life it permeates into all areas including the care and love we offer ourselves and subsequently everyone else.

    1. Frugality can harm us in more ways than we “think” when we hold back from feeling and appreciating the richness that is on offer when we value who we are and what we bring.

    2. So true Alison, very well said. Being frugal comes of a lacking energy and a contraction, whereas connecting to love offers us abundance and expansion.

  56. This is beautiful to read NP, so much love and care expressed and lived. We might not have lived it before but we can always turn the tides and start to live with the love that we all deserve.

    1. That’s the beauty of The Ageless Wisdom. When we ‘wake up’ and realise that we have lived in a way that is not true to ourselves, and that life can be different, we are offered the opportunity to peel back the layers and blossom in a way that we had not ever anticipated. Sometimes the changes we need to make can be quite subtle, but other times we need a complete restructure!

  57. Frugality involves holding back the love that we are in essence, for fear that it will be rejected or crushed. In reality we become paupers in life and our relationships, craving love from others to meet our own emptiness and feelings of lack.

    1. That’s the thing about the Bank of Love, it never runs empty, it’s always full, bursting to the seams in fact, but we hold it (us) back instead of ‘spending’ love freely. We can’t actually lose when we express love, as even though life can hurt at times the love itself is never hurt, nor does love need any protection or meting out conditionally. We are so rich with love, in fact we have a bigger than the universe sized amount of it waiting to be used, yet we live like love misers!

  58. When we are connected to our essence we allow abundance to be our ‘normal’ way of living.

  59. Could the difference between frugality and abundance be our quality and intention in the way we do things in? Not necessarily slowing down but being more self-loving and nurturing in the way we care for ourselves, knowing that will naturally flow onto being that way towards others or choosing to squeeze more in at the expense of ourselves by overriding our feelings in the need to tick all the boxes to look good.

  60. Frugality can definitely represent us holding back and being stingy with either ourselves or others.

  61. I am very grateful to the presentations by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, where I have learnt the importance of love, and how love cannot be rushed, but is rekindled by a deeper connection to our essence, and once we reach that feeling of love, we understand that we cannot short change ourselves because we are worth so much more than we often settle for.

  62. We approach frugality with a tightness in how we are with us and in doing so we cut corners with ourselves. And reading this I can feel how I am frugal with how I am with me, my time with me and how I haven’t always allowed the space to see and feel what I need and to take the space to do so. A learning here to examine how I am with myself, truly generous or tight.

  63. From the very reduced version of life we live to realizing and embracing the fullness and abundance that the universe and our divine nature is is quite a leap in consciousness that then transpires into the practicalities of life; then it is the true abundance being lived no matter how rich or poor one is.

  64. The reality of accepting things and that will do to truly bringing all of oneself to things is so beautiful to feel and this in itself brings an abundance to life.

  65. I keep coming back to this article because I do not feel I have totally understood the word frugality, or am still confused by the various definitions used for it. I see that holding back is being frugal with our qualities, what we have to offer in life, our openness to share ourselves and/or material wealth. I also see that there is beautiful quality of responsibility in not being extravagant and indulgent. Thank you for this opportunity to explore further and to develop clarity.

  66. When we are frugal with ourselves, our words, our love, with compliments, appreciation or respect there is a tight feeling of contraction and the atmosphere feels warped. However, when we are open and giving with everything we are feeling and do not hold back there is a feeling of freedom and flow which allows us to breathe freely. One is a way of exerting control, and the other is total acceptance and surrender to the truth of the moment.

  67. It literally does not pay if we cut corners in our own health and well being, in the care and love that we express in our relationship with ourselves and, in truth, in whatever we do.

  69. Allowing space in my day has been one way that has helped make an impact on those frugal behaviours and attitudes that I would have with myself.

  70. Yes, I love no longer accepting ‘that will do’ and often find myself stopping and re-doing something because the way that it was carried out was not with the beautiful quality it can have when I bring all of me and my love to it.

    1. Me too Janet. I love those moments of heightened awareness when I realise I have cut a corner (cut care off short) and go back to attend to something with greater respect and responsibility.

    1. What I find amazing about connecting to the love that we are is that I realise the infiniteness of it; that it does not just fill up my body and stop at my skin but that it fills interactions with others and space… properly cool and indicative of a universal plan that is beyond my comprehension.

  73. “Growing up, nothing was wasted yet there was no feeling of abundance except at Christmas time,” this expresses my childhood also NP, there was always a feeling of “borrowing from Peter to pay Paul”. Your blog brought home to me how growing up in this energy certainly permeated many areas of my life, more than perhaps I had before considered, thank you for your blog, it has given me food for thought.

  74. We have an excess of technology, screens and non stop motion in the world, and it seems a very sparing amount of true rest, repose or retreat. Today’s version of ‘stopping’ is watching television, gaming or going online, and this is having a huge impact on our society.

    1. Great point, Susie, and a very important insight into the state the world is currently in. It is of scary interest to explore what this trajectory will look like in 10 years.

  76. We can be frugal with ourselves, in the amount of love that we choose to give ourselves and then live with and express. Anything that we focus on that is not love will take us away from the love we could otherwise be building. To do so is to be frugal in the amount of love we are willing to have in our lives.

  77. NP, I love your humbleness and openness to learning from others, including those younger than you and your willingness to make changes. I also like how you are sharing your wisdom and experience with others through this blog and I am sure in other ways too. This sharing of experience and openness to learning whatever our age feels very beautiful and like a true way for us to be with ourselves and each other.

  78. If we curb our expression and what we have felt that is there to be said or shared with another, we devalue ourselves and short change others.

  79. Being truly generous with ourselves and each other does not have to be a fiscal experience, it can simply be an energetic rich one.

    1. cjames2012 that is very true, we think about money and poverty and cutting back but in many ways we can be frugal with the love we hold ourselves and others in, often far more damaging than not spending on that next night out.

  80. A great understanding of what is going on and what the world dictates as to our expression and the written word. Learning to express fully what we feel in our own expression is very empowering and supportive and something to learn to appreciate and love for ourselves.

  81. I love how you have brought your understanding of frugality to your ‘Tenderness’, your ‘Expression’ and your ‘Time’ here NP. They are all things that I can also relate to. To be aware of the areas in which we do hold back is the first step towards changing our relationship with frugality, and enables us to open up to the abundance of what is always on offer for both ourselves and the recipient.

  82. “I look into the nooks and crannies of what has influenced me throughout my life”.
    This is quite a process to do this, and one that is quite worthwhile. It can be super challenging, and super rewarding to do this, as we can find things hidden in these nooks can crannies that we did not know that where there. At the recent Universal Medicine Australian Retreat, we delved into a few and a standout for me was looking at recognition and how much does recognition play out in your life? There are the obvious ones about looking for approval, to be seen a certain way, to be liked, disliked etc… and then when you shine a light into the nooks and crannies, you can also see the more subtle ways we search for recognition, often stemming from an idea that we are not enough.

  83. I can really relate to this insidious ‘frugality’ you describe in this blog and how it can creep into our lives through religion and parenting and social norms etc. I can feel how it plays out of a denial of the abundance that is possible and becomes self-fulfilling in that you try to be frugal with time, energy, money love etc and then well that’s what you receive – less of all of the above and then wonder why your life does not feel as amazing as it could be. So the key as you say very well in this blog is accepting the grandness, the gloriousness, abundance and power that is there all the time waiting for us to allow and connect to and this occurs in all the little details of life in our every day.

    1. Yes.. accepting the greatness, the and grandness and the abundance of the universe that we’re all a part of isn’t a one-off big-reveal moment, but in the detail of every moment.

  84. Re-reading this has really supported me to clear out some things I have been hanging onto in case.. in case of what? If I need something in the future, I’ll go and buy another one.I would never have found it in my attic anyway because it was such a jumbled mess! Out goes frugality, in comes abundance, yeah. We know we have all we ever need.

  85. It is so liberating when we break out of the imposing consciousness of right and wrong and good and bad and discern for ourselves what feels true for us.

  86. Thank you for sharing. I use to be more frugal before than I am today and the quality of my beingness was well different back then than what it is now. Although food for me has been an issue in how i am using it for example. The quality has changed a lot, but the quantity still needs to be addressed sometimes as I tend to use it to fill an emptiness or a way to entertain myself as opposed to truly nurture myself.

  87. I love the way you have taken frugality much deeper than just being about saving money. It is an energy that pervades everything, especially how you are with yourself. It says in a judgmental tone, ‘that’s wasteful’ or even ‘you don’t deserve that’. Its a hard way too be with yourself and denies the abundance that our lives can have in them, just by being loving and open with ourselves.

  88. “I’m learning from others much younger than me to not short cut my own needs (being frugal) to satisfy another.” How beautiful this is NP, to be open to learning such wisdom from those younger than you. We have so much to offer each other, irrespective of our age – something that would quite possibly have been frowned upon when you were younger, but is something that we all miss out on if we stay stuck in the belief that children and younger people are exactly that and therefore don’t know what older people know.

  89. I realise from reading this blog that in a weird way, I can be frugal and hold back in the way I dress, holding back nicer outfits for another day, a special occasion, better weather, when I had more time. But in reality its just holding myself back from really expressing myself

  90. The ‘that will do’ attitude that a lot of women carry is very degrading of the sacredness of women.

  91. Abundance versus frugality what an amazing sharing especially when it all comes down to love. A delight to look at and see our choices and beliefs in life and the freedom and responsibility that can really become our living way flowing with appreciation and joy.

  92. Abundance versus frugality what an amazing sharing espcially when it all comes down to love. A delight to look at and see our choices and beliefs in life and the freedom and responsibility that can really become our living way flowing with appreciation and joy.

  94. My parents raised six children so there was always a feeling of never enough and living from week to week which created a lot of tension and stress. This belief of there being enough I took on and has impacted all areas of my life – only in exposing this deeply ingrained belief have I been able to re-imprint it and now trust that I will always be taken care of – you just have to look at nature and see the abundance of beauty.

    1. Trust has played a huge part in re-imprinting my beliefs regarding lack, my childhood circumstances were very similar to yours jacqmcfadden04 and learning to trust the abundance of God and that all is provided when I am open to it, has been life-changing.

  95. NP I remember this ideal and belief
    “Not cuddling my babies off to sleep, but letting them settle in their cot so I could get on to the next task (I definitely did not want to ‘spoil’ them, as the belief was in those times) ”
    I decided that ideal and belief was a load of ‘tosh’ and very often would cuddle my child off to sleep not all the time but when I felt it was needed to give my child and myself a restful night sleep. The other old wives tale was letting the baby cry no matter what it was good for them… says who? That was another ideal and belief I didn’t follow but followed my own senses of what was going on with the child.

  96. Another thing I have found with frugal living is the great guilt one feels if we step outside the boundaries we have set. Frugal living, without discernment, becomes control.

  97. I love the combination of frugality and abundance, for both are essential for a balanced life. Wastage of money is so common these days, but as you say an abundance of self-care is an essential and often not catered for requirement.

  98. ‘Along came the children: one, two, three! I loved being pregnant. I loved having babies. I loved being a wife and mother. But somewhere along the way I lost loving me and it was about everyone else.’ – NP, you are describing a reality that is the norm for the majority of our female population – we have learnt to make it about everyone else, regardless of being a mother/wife or not. There’s a lack of female role models to reflect the importance of deeply loving and caring for ourselves.

  99. I am finding how speaking up and having conversations is clearing out so much of what I had been holding on to. I hadn’t associated it with being frugal before, but dropping that pattern has encouraged more expression and more value for myself. Once something is said, it can be discussed and sorted out, it naturally brings the abundance to us.

  100. It is a work in progress to call out behaviours where I short change myself in order to place the needs of another before my own, a behaviour that feels as though it has been with me for lifetimes. But living the role of being a mother to three children in today’s world is a big one but at the same time I cannot but appreciate the incessantly offerings every single day to heal the lack of self worth – frugality in my life.

  101. Frugality can be another shade of individuality, a way to stand out and be special in that very particular thrifty way.

  102. I have been finding that even when my relationship with a word is true and my use of the word is precise, I have an expanding relationship with what is presented. This means even if I can look back at an experience enhanced by that relationship in the past, a repeat of the exact scenario today would usually be limiting and capping of my expression and unfolding. We are forever expanding and so is our interaction with and understanding of life.

  103. I love this I really relate to doing everything quickly and really how much time is saved ever by doing something in haste it’s horrible energy especially compared to doing something with tenderness and love.

  104. I like how you have pointed out different areas that frugality is playing out for you and can very much relate to many of them and starting to see other areas in my life where there has been a holding back as well.

  105. Having lived a life where both material abundance and the lack of it has been experienced, I can definitely say that a true and substantial sense of abundance comes from the wealth of love being expressed from one’s inner-heart where the soul resides. This affects all relationships and therefore makes life a playful abundance of love and glory. The only challenge then is to accept this and know it to be in fact not only very real but the truth of who we all are.

  106. Ouch – it’s listing out how frugality exists in how we are with our time, or with our expression that opens up this blog and really makes me feel how I’ve lived (am living) with this. Frugality is so often related to money, and yet in truth the word relates to how we restrict ourselves in our expression in all things.

  107. When I think about the word frugality and look at the world where some people have so much and a lot have so little and all the money and resources wasted on weapons and all that is associated with war, I realise that there is totally enough on this planet to support us all if we learnt not to be frugal with our love for each and every one of us, therefore if we were sensible and didn’t make things only to be used once and didn’t overeat and waste food we could make this word frugal a thing of the past.

  108. There is such a large difference between not wasting and being frugal – “Frugality became about short changing myself from the abundance that I truly am.” It feels like such a short change.

    1. The allowing of abundance of love, it seems crazy that we would avoid this at all costs for most of us, right… it is crazy. What I am getting is that more love means more understanding of the responsibility we have and that is what most of us are avoiding.

      1. So true, we don’t want to be the ones left holding the baton, knowing it may be us that brings it home. That level of responsibility is what we avoid and find such pernicious and irresponsible ways to do it.

  109. I am rich when I feel the cells of my body alive and vibrant, as a fire through my body – energetic aliveness and connection with my divinity.

  110. It is quite a learning when we look into the nooks and crannies of what has influenced us in life. I am aware how “that will do’ permeated into my life with anything for myself because of a similar background to how is described here. It was about short changing myself then, but the change felt now when we care for ourselves deeply and love ourselves true, it makes us appreciate so much more the enormous abundance we are.

  111. “Swallowing hurts” – yes to instead express [not swallow, gloss over, ignore ] hurts with understanding over judgment or anguish, is central to our evolutionary path of self-knowing. Only when we know ourselves minus our hurts do we embrace to be able to express more truly.

  112. “I look into the nooks and crannies of what has influenced me throughout my life.” I love this sentence NP, as it is so easy for us to dismiss these small things that we deem to be irrelevant in our lives, but in fact over the course of time these seemingly insignificant details that we have dismissed eventually accumulate to influence what we do and how we think, and go on to create bigger and more complex problems within us and in our lives.

  113. ‘Abundance abounds, and I am learning to allow myself to feel it with every breath.’ How gorgeous NF. Love the feeling in your words!

  114. ‘I’m learning not to shortcut my own needs to satisfy another’ – this is so key to the wellbeing of everyone, not just ourselves.

  115. I enjoyed the use of abundance in reference to ourselves; are we in the fullness of who we are and enjoying and nurturing that, or putting ideals like frugality first? It’s a great blog NP, there’s lots to consider because we have the post war frugality and then we could say we now have a consumerist/throw away culture. Valuing what we have and taking good care of it, alongside valuing and taking loving care of ourselves first is a responsible way to live.

  116. Do we value ourselves in all that we do or do we cut corners, hold ourselves back and play little?

  117. I loved reading this again as it drives home the importance of understanding ourselves without making ourselves good or bad, or right or wrong and how it does not take much to embrace ourselves in full and tap into the true wealth that can be found within, where nothing is a struggle.

  118. Selling ourselves short and settling for less stems the flow of abundance that we naturally have within. But it is always there, bursting at the seams with love, just waiting for us to tune in and turn it on.

  119. ‘That’s enough now’ ‘that’s your lot’ these are the type of thoughts that put us in a mindset of limitation, scarcity and frugality. Like a jar of jam we’ve been eating for over a year we have just a small amount out of fear, and thinking we need to ‘make do’ to survive – but it just isn’t true, all there is, is the plentiful universe and you. The love in it – can never run out.

  120. ‘But somewhere along the way I lost loving me and it was about everyone else.’ – You are describing a very common experience, we lose ourselves and make it all about what is going on and ‘needed’ on the outside.

  122. A beautiful understanding of true abundance and the reality of frugality as a mentality we take on and live and how we can change everything if we choose to and embrace the love and divinity we are joyfully and magically.

  123. There is a fine line between frugality and being truly economical. I am becoming more and more aware not to waste anything,especially energy – learning how to use energy lovingly and thus economically. My latest lesson is to not make a ‘problem’ out of anything – one part of me likes to indulge in a problem to get a form of ‘relief’, but now that I am renouncing that propensity to make a problem, I am able to maintain the flow of energy through me in greater volume. This is true economical, if not frugal, is every way.

    1. That is a great point Lyndy – being aware not to waste anything as opposed to putting it in the category of ‘holding back’ or extreme frugality. Two very different expressions.

    2. Hi Lyndy, I appreciated your discernment between frugality and economy, and also to not waste energy. When I look back over my life the things I have followed through on when they didn’t feel right at the beginning have led to massive amounts of energy being wasted. There is a true economy in simply listening to and honouring our feels for what feels true and what doesn’t.

  124. The idea of true abundance that is not being frugal to another is absolutely brilliant. I can feel how awesome it would be and how much change from the foundation can happen.

  125. Pondering on this, we can be frugal with forgiveness and acceptance. We can choose to hold on to a grudge and not let it go. We can be cruel to ourselves and each other while choosing to not accept our imperfections or our mistakes. If we allow ourselves forgiveness and acceptance it allows a flow in the body instead of the tightness, and we can feel love instead of pain. We can be generous with ourselves in this way.

  126. Simplicity is allowing the majesty of everything. Frugality tries to ration God. But rather than bits we end up with none.

  127. The majority of people in the world have been raised to be frugal with their expression of love etc, so it is considered abnormal when anyone comes along joyous in the way they go about life. This blog has so opened my eyes to the game I have enjoined – playing less and all that entails.
    It’s time to embrace and enjoy the abundance together and let the world see the wisdom, love and beauty that is in each and every single one of us – no longer holding back our true expression because of the insidious influence of frugality we have previously allowed to shape the way we lived our lives.

  128. The reason we want to limit how much we are open to is that feeling the abundance in life means being open to all that comes with it; love, universal wisdom and the whole truth.

  129. I have noticed this frugality attitude that has seeped into my life and how I live. For me it plays out as not accepting or thinking I deserve abundance in life and consequently surprise surprise when I think like this my life mirrors this back to me by not being as abundant as it could be. It is fascinating to consider that our beliefs which govern the way we move in life can sow the seeds for what we get back from life.

  131. “Abundance abounds through my devotion to self-nurturing and self-love, which leads to self-worth through appreciation and confirmation of who I am.” I love this it is a great reminder to love, love, love ourselves more, drop the self criticism, drop the harshness and take that time to totally appreciate ourselves.

  132. And we can be frugal with our appreciation of self, in this vein we can never, ever be enough.

  133. I have just read a sobering newspaper article in which it states that more and more schools in deprived areas in the UK are having to support families in poverty, given the financial cuts to local services. In some cases, schools are having to buy clothes and shoes for children and to feed them as they are literally starving. The focus on league tables is out the window in simply supporting children to survive. Images of Victorian workhouses and destitution spring to my mind, which seem to have become a 21st-century reality again. One head teacher in this article even commented on how small the children in her school appeared to be compared with children from more affluent areas. Being frugal or not for these families isn’t really an option. When you can’t feed yourself or your children, to me, this is beyond frugality and begs me to question what we are doing as a society when the divisions between the haves and have-nots have become so stark once more.

    1. This is super interesting Michelle and it also raises the question for me as to what have we all done up to now to be in this position?

      1. The collective emptiness is chasing the bucks and jumping on the hamster wheel, making life about competition, betterment and function rather than loving relationships and quality have meant that we jump over each other to get to the finish line we have created (and when we get there is it ever enough?). It is interesting how we have come full circle again. What, if anything, have we learned to be back where we started more than 150 years ago?

  134. The answer to whether frugality is good or bad for me depends on the intention behind it. If it comes from a fear, lack of self-worth, self-sacrifice, even a punishing of self then it is like a poison to us. If the frugality is responding to your genuine circumstances and current needs then it feels very supportive and practical. Not needing to buy things to fill an emptiness in you or to indulge a desire feels very freeing to me. But in general, I would say the frugality I have observed normally has a more critical harsh edge and comes from a lack of worth.

  135. True abundance, self worth and Universal Medicine are bringing this back into our lives and celebrating ourselves for who we are. “Abundance abounds, and I am learning to allow myself to feel it with every breath. No more ‘that will do’ when I feel to do something differently.” We are offered a real gift of abundance in our lives with the love, grace and honouring of who we are.

  136. Making do with what we have is something that we can push to the extreme, as we can with indulgence, but in a sense they are both denying the same thing, what it is that is actually needed.

  137. Not letting people in and allowing them to see who we are, ensures that we are kept separated and not in the flow and abundance of the universe.

  138. ‘These are questions that have arisen over recent times as I begin to realise that I have lived my life with no true connection to who I truly am’ – I am amazed at what can be revealed for us once we are open to reconnecting to our true selves. When we truly allow it we have the power to read ourselves like an open book.

  139. I love the feeling of abundance, that you share that is there for its all through self-nurturing and self-love. As soon as I feel a ‘that will do’ moment, there is a buzzer that goes off in my head to make me stop and not accept it, so I can choose to come back to the fullness of abundance.

  140. Being frugal means we are measuring how much of something we feel we deserve, including love… so in truth it is all about our own self-worth, or lack of.

  141. The beautiful thing in life is, that everything reflects everything. Having someone behaving with money like the author described, will be highlighted in other areas in a different way, but in the same energy. If you once understand, that everything is connected and our behaviours are a mirror of one energetic root cause, you can read people so clearly and can support them to get out of them. Finding solutions to handle behaviours will only work temporary. Really healing the root, will then allow on many levels a true change, as the author could experience herself beautifully.

  142. Always feeling that financially security has eluded me, which meant I would always try and hang onto what I had, but in doing so, became quite frugal… That has now turned on its head, and I now love to be generous, as it feels so very expansive and freeing.

  144. Frugality can lead to a form of behaviour that is held back. If we do not give ourselves the love that we need or indeed allow it in from others, then there is no ability to allow love out or be loving towards others. There is a hardness and a defense instead.

  145. I love the notion of making use of what we have and not letting things go to waste. Many people are swamped with possessions that make life more complicated and less enjoyable. That said it is impossible to be frugal with love as it is abundant and it is actually a waste not to express it.

  146. With… ‘Abundance abounds through my devotion to self-nurturing and self-love, which leads to self-worth through appreciation and confirmation of who I am,’ say goodbye to a frugal way of living!

  147. It seems to me frugality has an energy that can keep us small and from the abundance we are all capable of having once we get it right and start living for everyone and not just ourselves. There is a place for frugality as I can’t stand waste but not where love is concerned.

    1. Kev I too agree ‘there is a place for frugally as I can’t stand waste but not where love is concerned’ but I have come to realise that when I get het up about waste, I am, in that moment being frugal with love.

  149. ‘Not sharing with others the many ideas that pop into my awareness’ – I realise when I do this, I am stepping away from those around me, removing myself every so slightly by choosing to keep my ideas, feelings, thoughts to myself in that moment. Sometimes it may be more loving to do so, but often it is not, I keep them inside as I feel if I share them, I will not be heard, rather dismissed. However, in truth I cannot know how the other person will react, if I don’t even give them the chance I am denying them of the opportunity to be more open and to choose to connect with me. That is something I should always have the grace to offer another.

  150. “Frugality and abundance working together!!!” Then we are focused by choice to reconnect to our inner-most, which brings abundance and at the same time we are frugal by choice all those things that disconnect us from that divinity.

  151. NP i love this piece of writing; how you have clearly distinguished the unworthiness, the loveless ideals and good in frugality and counter to this the claimed and embodied celebration of abundance – Eternally thankful for the gold that is Universal Medicine.

    1. The gold that is Universal Medicine and every single person involved with it’s teachings – people presenting, living and to their best ability willing to put the teachings into practice.

  152. ‘Growing up, nothing was wasted yet there was no feeling of abundance except at Christmas time…’ Great to read this as it’s got me pondering on how I felt growing up where nothing was wasted and there was no feeling of abundance but just scrapping by just about making ends meet. I know I had a fear of there never being enough that I still live by. So it’s wonderful to feel there is an abundance in life and that the way I have been living has been so constricted and controlled that I’ve not allowed this abundance to blossom. I have chased false riches of recognition and putting on a show when what I’m feeling is being enough and letting myself be.

  153. As a dear dear friend put it to me once: “The high distinction of life is love and truth lived ordinarily.” And this cannot be done whilst living a frugal life.

    1. What a great line your friend offered you Michael. There is much wisdom in living a life of love and truth ordinarily.

    2. That’s so beautiful, thank you for sharing, Michael. Very true, there is no smidgen of holding back in living a life of love and truth ordinarily, rather, absolute divinity.

  154. I love how you speak about frugality without lacing it as something either ‘bad’ or ‘good’, but just sharing what your experience with it has been. This is the best way we can learn from one another and a gorgeous way to connect.

    1. I agree Abby – the best way to learn is without holding any form of judgment, but simply seeing everything as an experience.

  155. Aligned to our Divine selves, we feel abundance in all things and appreciate all we have

  156. Being frugal with love is a global with disease, we can also add affection, tenderness, kindness. Frugality, as many have said, is not just about money and material things but touches every area of life.

  157. Frugality has been sold as a virtue and in the Christian belief, it goes hand in hand with being meek; but lack and meekness are a far cry from the riches of heaven.

    1. Yikes! reading this I can feel the energy I grew up in and how suppressing of our natural vitality it is. Time to embrace being full of love and life. The reserve I have lived by is not me and takes up so much energy!

  158. “somewhere along the way I lost loving me and it was about everyone else” – I love how you have turned the outward frugality inward and explored the way we deny that foundation with ourselves and the abundance that it brings.

  159. NP – you certainly do have some wisdom to share! Look forward to more…..

  160. NP, I find this blog really supportive. I can very much relate to this; ‘somewhere along the way I lost loving me and it was about everyone else. ‘I have been very aware recently of how I have focussed on my family in the past and made this the priority – looking after them more than I did myself. This is changing now and I’m enjoying focussing more on me and what my needs are and if I don’t want to do something then saying no.

  161. This is a wonderful blog for me to consider how I am short-changing myself and then, for me, overcompensating in all the wrong areas like spending money on food that isn’t supportive and not on food that is of high quality that is- for example.

  162. There is always energy behind why we do what we do and how we do it in life, and so even though an action may be the same e.g making a dress, it can be for very different reasons or qualities of expression…

    1. Well said Fiona and this is something that I felt the other day, when I offered to make a friend some food, I pondered on what my incentive was. Was I offering purely out of love and of providing nourishing food for a friend or was I looking to control an aspect of her diet? The food itself may have looked and tasted the same but energetically it would have been very different.

  163. “Frugality became about short changing myself from the abundance that I truly am.” Touché… how many of us have short-changed ourselves – I would say every single one of us, for many and varied reasons but ultimately to the detriment of ourselves and our bodies.

  164. It is interesting to observe how we can take one thing and gradually convert it to something else which has such a far-reaching effect in all areas of our lives. Starting with being frugal with money to limiting the tenderness and affection with our children.

  165. Just feeling into the word ‘frugality’ gives me a sense of what it feels like to be frugal. Deprived, bereft, empty, burdened, heavy, weighed down are all words that feel to me, like they’re associated with the word frugal.

  166. I can understand that frugality mentality where I would often save lovely things for a later date, like I was not worthy of them today or did not deserve them. And the time never came to use them, and they would waste away in the drawer or cupboard and then would get thrown out at a later date. There is a ‘never enough feeling’ about frugality, but when we know abundance, it is not to squander it but to appreciate and use it wisely.

  167. On first impressions frugality does not seem a bad thing, getting a lot accomplished in a day, getting things done, speeding through life, baking your own bread, to sewing you’re wedding dress, yet as it is so beautifully exposed with the wisdom of lived experience, there was a missing ingredient and that was you inner well of richness and abundance, we all hold, it is our very essence and that is LOVE.

    Frugality is the absence of living from love and we use that to compensate but it never can, it only takes us further away. We are naturally abundant!

    I love this blog and the wisdom shared of lived experience. Thank you.

  168. Yes, that is adding complications in order to cope with shortages. Many of the shortages are due to people not committing to life, choosing not to work together with each other or choosing not to do what is needed.

  169. Frugality can acquire a momentum of its own. It can be great fun to nut out where things are cheapest, how to substitute something cheaper for something more expensive, how to get things cheaply or free etc, especially if we have the time to do so. However, if there is no true purpose to the exercise or if we do it in preference to something more important, then it becomes another way to be in comfort.

  170. It feels very humbling to read your words NP – and to realise when, and when not frugality is appropriate and what is truly impulsing our decisions.

  171. Many of the economic, religious, energy, and social systems on this planet are based upon a false notion of limited resources and lack of abundance. Talk of ‘peak oil’, not enough food, not enough jobs, running out of fresh air abound. This is not to say that we aren’t dealing with real issues of famine, pollution, and a massive disparity of wealth. But that’s just it, there is actually tons of money and energy available to deal with these issues, but through greed and corruption there has been a misappropriation of these resources. The Universe is constantly expanding and we have everything we need to sustain ourselves on this planet. The belief system in place that supports there being a lack of abundance has been implemented for control. It’s up to us to live in a way that expresses the abundance we feel inside us. The biggest one of all…LOVE.

  172. Beautiful NP you remind me just what a reduced down version of a ‘human being’ we tend to live. No matter the apparent wealth or poverty, we live thinking we are just physical. This rules out the endless depth of divinity we are here to know. We certainly don’t need to limit, doubt or cap this though. There is no ‘little’ piece of God in this world.

  173. Universal energy from the heart of God flows through us continually. Frugality is like fitting this infinite source with a filter that almost entirely blocks the flow. It is absurd to contemplate.

    1. Yes Lyndy, we block the flow of this enormous love and wisdom available to us if we are frugal in anyway.

  175. NP, I love that you have written this and are sharing your wisdom as an elder. I can feel that I have much to learn and that I can be frugal when it comes to how much time and care I devote to myself.

    1. Yes, not giving myself enough time feels like a direct action to be less rather than ‘being more efficient’ or ‘being more effective’ as this neglect reduces the quality of what I do.

  176. Totally loved reading your unfolding discovery. It has me pondering on all the ways fragility has sneaked in to my way of living. Many areas that stay hidden until a torch like this shines upon them. What I love discovering about shining torches on areas in my life such as these is, that there is so much space on offer when we clear out what is not of love.

  177. I realise I can be frugal with myself. If I hold myself back then no-one else gets to see me or hear me or love the true me. Holding ourselves back is indeed a selfish act.

  178. ‘Abundance abounds through my devotion to self-nurturing and self-love, which leads to self-worth through appreciation and confirmation of who I am.’ Yes, and letting go of hurts, patterns of behaviour, beliefs of things should be are part of this self love revealing more of the essence of who we are and how life truly can be lived.

  179. I could say I have led a very frugal life as I have lived a life with no connection to who I truly am.
    And I would go further to say in my opinion the vast majority of us live our lives in this way. We have no understanding of who we truly are and in all honesty if it wasn’t for Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, the presentations and workshop I would still be living a frugal life. Serge Benhayon has opened up to us all a world of possibilities that I for one had entirely given up on. Working my way back from my miserly state has been hard work but so worth the effort to reengage with all of life and what it has to offer.

  180. ‘I loved being a wife and mother. But somewhere along the way I lost loving me and it was about everyone else.’ – I can very much relate to this, I allowed myself to do the exact same thing. Looking back on it now, it is so clear to me that without holding myself in love and tenderness first, the love I am sharing with others is a mere shadow of the richness that is there to be given. It seems so obvious now, yet at the time I was just functioning, from one task to another, without the gorgeousness of me.

  181. We certainly don’t have a problem with feeding ourselves an abundance of food, but when it comes to care, quality and connection we are living on bare rations.

    1. This is humorous and sobering at the same time. As long as it is about what we get as a return and not about what we contribute we will find ourselves in this paradigm.

  182. What becomes so clear when reading your words is that we all have our own versions of certain words and how we apply them to our lives. But then there is a truth in words that stem from a living way that is in harmony with everything around us – the universe – and this is most precious to rediscover and live.

  183. There’s a big difference between being wise with money and being frugal with it. And what’s more is they can both look the same I.e not purchasing something, but are done with completely different mindsets and intentions.

  184. The abundance in life we all deserve comes from within living the fullness of who we are with the appreciation of this and is something Serge Benhayon has reflected to me constantly.

  185. Bringing frugality and abundance together as you have done adds up to discernment for me. Frugality (from the latin meaning useful) denotes what there is at hand to use, like your herbs in the garden, and abundance is the generosity we have in the use of whatever. It would be foolish to pick all the herbs for the plants would die and also we need to take what is appropriate for the food we are making and the request from our bodies. Going that extra mile with preparing your omelette shows a caring and nurturing aspect as well as a celebration of what there is to be had from the garden, bringing a fuller experience of life, making space for playfulness and joy.

    1. Thank you Elaine this is a super beautiful example of the meaning of these two words, no right or wrong, simply how they can play out in our life in their trueness.

  186. What an great subject to really look at and dissect, it’s amazing what comes up when we really look at a word. I would have never looked beyond the monetary or material aspects of the word but so true that we can be frugal with our love,tenderness and the time we spend doing tasks that may need that extra care.

  187. Reading a few of the comments – something huge is happening here – by unlocking the deeper meanings of abundance and frugality, by taking it beyond the monetary parameters normally applied to these words, we are exposing a treasure trove. As many have said, any area of our life in which we are holding back is a form of frugality and yet frugality is normally considered a ‘good’, ‘humble’, ‘responsible’ thing to do. But what is being shown in this blog and these comments is how it is in fact an irresponsible choice to live, in any way or area whatsoever, the less that we are and have. It’s like it is a justification for saying no to our glory.

  189. I love the way you sign off; “an elder with great wisdom to share, and more yet to discover,” And this really is true wisdom; a wisdom that actually serves us all to evolve. Nowadays, most ‘elders’ are either locked up in the intellect and pride of their lives…or, are so checked out that they are just fading away. So to have people like you NP, sharing this kind of lived wisdom and humility is a blessing for us all and it makes me really appreciate what web-sites like this are for now and the future.

  190. Frugality for a true purpose is wonderful. Frugality without love or joy is a great way to be less.

  191. We can think we are receiving love when in fact it is only the crumbs of attention and not the abundance of true love at all.

    1. And likewise, we may believe we are loving towards ourselves when in fact it is more of a ‘tick-box’ action than the true depth and honouring we are capable of and very much deserve.

  192. Love how abundance and frugality can work together, we only need so much, but we should not deny what we need in truth. This is abundance for me, what is truly needed and appreciating what is there and honouring that.

  193. ‘Growing up, nothing was wasted yet there was no feeling of abundance except at Christmas time’ – I can very much relate to this, we were practically brought up to believe there can be no such thing as abundance in the everyday life.

  195. A succinct synopsis of the false frugality that you’ve just shone the light into. Love it Doug.

  196. ‘But somewhere along the way I lost loving me and it was about everyone else.’ – being frugal with the love that we show ourselves is something a great many of us have fallen into. I often felt quite resentful of all the things I was doing for my family, putting them all first, yet, in truth, the real hurt was my willingness to leave myself last.

    1. Thanks for pointing this out Alison – how much resentment comes with putting everyone else before ourselves?

  197. Thank you for prompting me to consider frugality in expression. Not saying what’s there to be said is not only causing a struggle within my self but also denies (or imposes on) another by holding back what is there to be rightfully shared and learned from.

  198. Yes, in the past I could certainly relate to the list of doing things in a rush such as folding washing, but now I very much enjoy the absolute beauty and precision in carrying out such tasks with all of my presence and a loving quality.

    1. I agree, Janet, when we are with ourselves, appreciating the beauty of what we bring, it really doesn’t matter what we are doing as we can feel the quality of who we are in everything we do.

  199. Your list of frugal ways is something to ponder on and see where in my life frugality is playing out.

    1. I agree Ruth – looking deeper at how something such as this plays out reveals just how much our ideals and beliefs will affect all that we do.

    1. I like this definition of these two qualities, Steve, short and precise.

    2. I like this Steve – there is great abundance in this comment and how far it can be taken. Just sitting with it allows me to feel how little I have truly and deeply appreciated the abundance that is available in our lives. Thank you.

  203. I can relate to all the things you have been frugal with NP and have cut so many corners in the past. However as I learn from my own experience of taking more care with how I do things for myself, I can feel the enormous benefits of the love and care that comes back to me. Its so worth it, and ultimately everyone benefits.

  205. I am not certain about the meaning of the word Frugal, yet from reading the blog I get a strong sense of the difference between using our ideals and beliefs to squash our expression and deny the natural flow of love and support in our lives, or instead freely embracing the joyful expression of all that we are and welcoming all that life offers and inspires.

  206. ‘Frugal’ has a air of denying fullness and holding back. We can live very simply and still be abundant and rich.

  207. I have been frugal with letting people in, by protecting myself, but this is not the true way for me to be as I have found out , and that protection has been keeping me separated from everyone, the flow of life and from God.

  208. Being frugal keeps us trapped in a self perpetuating cycle of regression. What a God send to be able to break the restraints and re-ignite your path of evolution, a path of consistent inner growth and expansion that benefits everyone.

  209. Is frugality just a way of living in a contracted state that over time if left un-checked we believe the essence inside of us is less? But, energy can never be made less or destroyed. Its that human free will that gives it ago to try and make it less!

  210. When we look up and feel energetically into the true meaning of frugal from its roots in Latin, then it is to be ‘careful; accurate; thrifty, diligent, industrious;’ and to add to the discussion ‘dignity; = majesty, dignity (of god/rank/position); majesty of people/state; sovereignty;‘ so these two words would seem to be building a closer relationship with God ‘unlike poisonous, which is ‘connected with underworld’; words can make “living life the polar opposite of how it can be and as I unpick each layer built up to cover my true essence, I look into the nooks and crannies of what has influenced me throughout my life,” and when words are energetically misused they make everyone lesser than our essences!!

  212. The concept of frugality and also austerity has been bastardised in our world. True Austerity means: precision, simplicity, integrity and awesomeness – but has been translated on earth to refer to and described a very bare, harsh, lacking-in-abundance situation. Also we have the tradition of monks subjecting themselves to very stringent disciplines, including the reinterpretation of ‘frugality’ and ‘austerity,’ which may have once been needed to some extent but are completely unnecessary now in our Aquarian era . . . and some of these consciousnesses still persist, as most of us carry the past with us instead of renouncing it and living the future.

  213. I have just noticed your interesting statement that frugality is so entrenched in Christianity, NP. This I had not realised before and it now makes sense of talk that I hear a Christian minister give at a Christmas service at the end of last year. I have never been a Christian, but was there at the service singing celebration songs with a group. The minister was telling everyone that it was good to go out and buy up big with the Christmas presents – don’t hold back – spending money is a good thing! It was delivered in a quite comical way. and I found it very mysterious to understand. Perhaps at some level he was endeavouring to break the vein of ‘frugality’ in the church.

  214. The more I sit with this article I can feel how ‘frugality’ consciousness can taint every part of life and does not represent the fullness that we naturally are…putting a lid on our ever expanding nature.

    1. That’s very true Victoria – I used to always look for short cuts in life, until I realised I was robbing myself and others of the fullness of me and my expression.

      1. Great point Eva, we do not only rob ourselves, everyone misses out when we accept a reduced short cut version of ourselves…. and it is a very unfulfilling way to be.

  216. The tight relationship between lack of self-worth and compromising what we feel to fit in makes sense. We can’t love ourselves in full and embrace the abundance within us if we deny what we truly feel as whenever we make this choice we are accepting less than the infinite love that we really are.

  217. ‘Abundance abounds’ I can feel how these words dissolves the untrue use of frugality which brings so much resignation and hidden resentment. It brings me back to the abundance within. Thank you NP for sharing your story in such an honest way.

  218. I have just realised that being frugal can extend to the way we look at ourselves as well, so our self-worth is part and parcel of that belief. We don’t consider ourselves to be worthy of time, care, quality. None of that needs to cost a great deal, but if it does, then we are worth it because of the quality we bring as a result. We are breaking quite an entrenched way of thinking with this blog so thank you.

  219. We learn how to appreciate and embrace abundance by giving it a go, noticing things we do as our every day and bringing a deeper respect and attention to them.

  220. This blog leaves any vestiges of holding frugality as a good quality well and truly out the window! “Frugality became about short changing myself from the abundance that I truly am.”

  221. I have come to learn that when we live in connection to our divine essence, there is abundance in every part of the day. There is nothing frugal about the love of God that pours upon us when we open up to it.

  223. It’s interesting the easy connectioin that can be made between frugality and time. The ‘efficiency mode’ that sacrifices the sensitivity in favour of the doing. This pattern takes us directly to misery as everything comes before of us, which feeds disconnection. Returning to our sensitivity and the knowing that we deserve the same care (or even more!) than the one we offer to any activity is great choice to break that kind of patterns. In my experience I have realised that true efficiency is not linked with time and effort, but with conscious presence and love.

  224. Could it be that when we are frugal in the true meaning we are making lesser anything that is keeping us from our divinity and holding true to everything that is evolutionary?

  225. I find myself still caught in a poverty consciousness which is similar to the frugality described here in the blog – its this feeling that you will not have enough and hence have to plan ahead so as not to waste things – no different to being caught in the ‘lack of time’ consciousness which I am also incidentally struggling to break out of! Quite an experience to be aware of these things and know how much they can impact on all the decisions we make on a day to day basis. And how powerful to then defy this old belief and just do things out of the box – not to be rebellious, but simply approaching things differently because this is how we have felt to do it as opposed to how we are ‘supposed’ to do it!

    2. I agree Henrietta, I have been particularly feeling this at work where each day I get more and more things added to my inbox. I have had moments of overwhelm and even frustration, then with some very loving support, I was able to come back to my body and be ok with the fact that I will never get through everything in my inbox as there will always be more to do. The key is to be ok with this and to lovingly prioritise what needs my attention now and feel into what is next rather than being tied to a certain order.

  226. As women we often ‘put up with’ and or ‘make do’ in situations … which in truth is totally dishonouring of ourselves when we are all equally worthy.

    1. The ‘that will do’ consciousness or way of being is quite huge in our society. Much to our own detriment and contraction of living the grandness of who we truly are and what we can bring to others and everything we take part in.

    2. Very true Paula and it comes back to our ability to express all that we are feeling and our understanding that when we are ‘putting up with’ or ‘making do’ – that is what we are choosing, that is what we are saying yes to with every cell in our body. So, if it is not what we are feeling, it’s really important to honour this and openly share with those around us. This will bring a new foundation of truth to all of our movements.

  227. The way we do something makes all the difference, whether it is truly from a loving impulse or whether it is not.

  228. I am amazed at just how many aspects of ‘frugal’ you describe, can creep into the way we live life. Its like another way of holding back our natural expression of love.

    1. Yes me too Johanne. This blog certainly has been food for thought in abundance.

  229. It is great how you have pointed out the countless areas that frugality can take the lead in our lives and how that offers a reminder of how important it is to always be aware of the quality we choose to live with.

  230. This was quite uncomfortable to read for the level of exposure it brought up in me. I’ve been aware of my frugality when it comes to my finances but hadn’t seen all the ways frugality dominates my life. Thanks for your sharing – super helpful 🙂

    1. This blog brings a whole new perception and understanding to how we are or can potentially be frugal in life – especially with our love and expression of who we truly are. Something that I had not really considered to this depth before. This blog also make me wonder just how many other words, meanings and perceptions we have perhaps bastardised or limited in our lives. This blog only looks at one word with more depth and how it has been outplayed but I am sure this deeper consideration could be applied/ brought to most words.

  232. I love this exploration of frugality beyond the confines of how we commonly view it as relating solely to money. And that it can be a wholesome or constricting thing depending on our approach.

  233. “That will do” used to be my stock phrase, i’d give something a go but not give it my all. It’ll do, it’ll be fine, it’ll be enough. I was short changing myself and everyone else. And since feeling the abundance of life with a few years keeping my understanding and connection with Universe Medicine, I bring so much more to everything. But I know there is still deeper to go.

    1. Going more deeply within is not at all self centred when it’s done with fiery intent. In fact going more deeply within has the effect of bringing so much more out into the world.

    3. Gill I love this point, how many things in life are we “that will do” with, I know for all of us it differs but its very rare to find people who give their all to the all.

  234. When we take the time to look and feel a little deeper and bring understanding – there are many things and ways of being (eg. efficiency, frugality and on) that we can use in life to avoid feeling, reading life, being who we truly are in all areas of our life.

  235. What a beautiful unfolding of self love and appreciation and a new notion of abundance. We have been raised on the idea of accumulating material things and recognition to feel secure in life.

    1. Security is a false drive in life that is material or self fulfilling based whereas love is beholding and expansive. When we make life about love of self and others (people) first then all we do and work with is from that and then being and feeling truly content in life naturally follows.

  236. “These are questions that have arisen over recent times as I begin to realise that I have lived my life with no true connection to who I truly am..” – I can say the same, and I can also say that even after years of being , enjoying and wholly appreciating the gift of true connection from Universal Medicine, there is so much more of myself to connect deeper to.

  237. It’s great to look at all the areas in life where we can be frugal. This can include our communication with others. If we are withholding something or not expressing something we are holding ourselves back and not allowing our natural expression. We are not sharing ourselves. This can hurt deeply, and everyone misses out.

  238. Frugality and abundance in a full and developing relationship with each other; this is an article that touches so many points of wisdom and insight into life, our choices and the impact of these. One to come back to to learn more and more. Thank you.

  239. This is an amazing article which exposes how ideals and beliefs about frugality have enabled us to feel guilty about listening to our bodies and honouring what is revealed to us without guilt or judgement. I easily identify with what is expressed about being frugal. I grew up in a family believing that it was a necessity for survival and very wise to be frugal. Appreciation of what we have and taking responsibility to use what we have wisely and not wastefully are fine attributes but only in the energy of true self-love, self-care and self-nurturing first. How insightful to feel how frugal I can be with my expression, my tenderness and my time with people and on activities, if I am rushing or distracted. Being present with me in each moment, loving me in abundance and appreciating my self-worth and who I truly am allow me to offer that same abundance of love and acceptance to others to feel that is equally in them too.

  240. When we choose to believe in the world of frugal, we are totally short-changing ourselves… life is abundantly rich with love, joy and harmony, and expands exponentially when we live and connect with this.

    1. This is true Paula. Your comment brings to the forefront just how we as a humanity do tend to see the what is not of truth and love and appreciation before we see all that is there in front of us and around us that is. This view seems to stem from how we connect with ourselves and treat ourselves – for we can only see in life that which already are and confirm with ourselves first. Eg. It’s hard to appreciate life or another if we do not first appreciate ourselves and our qualities.

  241. Hi my name is Sarah and I am frugal with my appreciation of my gorgeous self. That is what came to me so clearly reading this today. I am frugal with how I love and appreciate myself. Here’s to cultivating this garden more and more.

  242. I can so much relate to what you have shared NP, I had not thought that the way i had lived was frugal but reading what you have shared I feel that I have lived with frugality, there was no time for me, there was too much to be done, and time spent on me had no worth at all, we had the basics which I diligently provided and which we appreciated but there was no sense of abundance, I too am learning now, that time spent with me in loving self care and nurture is so worth it, i am so worth.

  243. There are many areas in which I can see frugality running through my life. It feels like if you are frugal in one area of your life, you might want to review other areas too, as frugality. tends to ripple and weave through so many other things that we might not have clocked until reading this blog!

  244. It’s great to read this as I was brought up in this way of not wasting resources, food or money, it was just a way of being, to appreciate what we had and if there was limited source to share it with others.

  245. Frugality can be totally unrelated to money – if we look at the fact that many women in the world lived in suppression or fear for their bodies and lives, they will learn to love contracted and held back and trying to not stand out, and this is what they pass on to their daughters, to be frugal with your beauty, to not shine to bright and not stand out and not be all of who you are because you might get hurt.

    1. Very true. Frugality can be related to every aspect of life and for every type of person of any age really, especially when we consider all the ways we can be less than who we truly are in life as a way of fitting in.

      1. I agree – even if all poverty is cured we will still need to learn to heal the poverty of people living less than who they are.

    2. FGM is another way of stripping women of who they are, permanently. As barbaric as this procedure is, it is still carried out in many places.

      1. In countries where female genital mutilation occurs, it is often the mothers who take their daughters to have this done. Hearing and dismissing their screaming pleas to save them while the torture is often carried out with very basic tools, because they ‘believe’ it is the ‘right’ thing to do. How have we allowed ourselves to get to this point where we allow and accept this terrible abuse to take place?

  246. One of the many things I’m very grateful for is knowing Serge Benhayon as he supports everyone through workshops and presentations to consider our lives and how we are living them. No one I have met as ever asked me to simply question life. Many of us considered ourselves to be responsible but there is a depth to being responsible in everything we do, in that lack of connection to our true selves is the lack of true responsibility not just to ourselves but the rest of humanity.

    1. And to be offered to question life and ourselves without judgement but with love and understanding is a beautiful thing to be presented with. This Serge Benhayon reflects so beautifully.

      1. …. and Serge Benhayon also reflects and reminds us that we too are equally capable of doing this, as he holds us in the divinity that he knows we are. Which again, is there for us to claim for ourselves.

  247. I know that ‘That will do’ very well. Whether it is with brushing my teeth, combing my hair or putting on my clothes, those three words are like taking off the cream off the apple pie as we say in Dutch. Not giving it the loving finishing touch so it is round e.g. a reflection of abundance. From your blog I will take with me: how can I add the cream – loving attention – to my daily apple pie – daily activity.

  248. It’s interesting how frugality spread throughout your life NP, from your experience with you parents when you were young through to every aspect of your living as an adult. I love the allowing of abundance as the thing which changed the direction on this.

  249. Confirmation is the way you hold people, it is the way you are with people,
    In that holding, you give them every opportunity to be their best.
    You hold them greater than they are currently at.
    It brings out their wisdom, their multidimensionality, so it brings out the best in people.
    The more you confirm others, the more you grow.

  250. Frugality results from a belief around life that is limiting. It is an image that blocks the full and wondrous flow of life and vitality through the body. Yes, it may have first arisen out of the necessity to deal with a situation where there is a lack of money or products available, such as in a post war depression, but the act of dealing with that situation can be carried out from a full connection to the all that we are, and so preventing a contraction in our body and allowing the livingness to emanate.

  251. Frugality is useful for things like saving for something that is required and not just wanted. But, when we get set in our ways, our whole life gets affected as frugal spills into every aspect of our lives. We ignore things within us that are never meant to hold back and keep to ourselves, like love, it cant be saved for it never runs out or becomes less.

  252. Thanks NP, there is a lot we can learn from this honest sharing about not ever settling for less than an absolute commitment to love ourselves.

  253. ‘From an untrue use of frugality towards true abundance – discovering pockets where this twist of frugality is hiding and calling it out – is an ongoing process and I’m learning from others much younger than me to not short cut myself, who have a whole different set of consciousnesses imposed on them than we in the older generation have. It is very powerful and necessary to put our generational mindsets under the microscope and have a good look!

  254. You do have wisdom to share NP and I really enjoyed reading your blog. Frugality can be seen as a virtue which I for some time bought into. It was a reaction to the over consumerism in life.

    1. Frugality – a reaction to the over consumerism – that’s a great point Victoria. Instead of honouring and choosing what feels true to us we we act out of reaction to what we see is playing out around us.

      2. You are so right Victoria ‘frugality’ is a reaction to consumerism, and also to ‘tightened’ circumstances that people can suddenly find themselves in. My Dad’s father used to make him walk an extra mile to go and get the billy-can of milk in the morning to get a half-penny off the price. Anything that is not a true response to life gets everything out of proportion!

  255. Awesome – an awareness of a recent frugal moment has made it very clear how undermining this is and it created cautiousness in life.

  256. So often when I see the word ‘frugal’ I associate it with being limited by material resources, being poor and miserly. When I checked to the roots of the word, it brings a beautiful quality of economical purpose, honesty, enjoyment and appreciation of what is so simply offered to us in our natural world. There is so much we can easily and frugally appreciate in the world around us starting with the abundance of people to connect to and enjoy.

  257. Frugality and abundance working together? I’m sure there is a place almost equally for both. In this throw away culture that we are living in, with people living on take out food, plastic becoming or is already is a major problem, there are many things we can be frugal with but never with tenderness, gentleness, self-care or nurturing and that is where the abundance will come from if we are able to make this our rhythm.

  258. I can relate to your dress making at the age of 13, I used to do this as it was a way I could afford to get fashion and design at a young age! I continued right through my teens and uni years until I felt too busy to make them anymore. However I can say that there was a certain frugality in this ‘training’ as it was only relatively recently that I felt easy with buying clothes from a worth that I could feel bubbling up from a lovliness within myself.

  259. We care for our children and would never consider this to be a choice but an absolute innate necessity that we naturally perform. However, as women, we don’t have the same perception when it comes to our selves, we seem to think that we’ll be ok if we don’t give ourselves the same loving care that we give to others. Yet, what we are not appreciating here is that this does have a profound affect on us, on how we are with our selves and everyone else. Through our lack of self-care, we are not only affecting the quality of our relationship with our selves but also the quality of the care we are offering others. Everyone looses out.

  260. NP, I loved reading about how you made your omelette, feeling into what ingredients to use. That is the absolute joy in cooking for me, to be guided by my body, feeling into what will be nourishing and supportive, allowing myself to experiment with different fresh ingredients and food combinations. Every time I make the ‘same’ dish, it’s never the same, there are always slight variations.

  261. ‘Abundance abounds through my devotion to self-nurturing and self-love, which leads to self-worth through appreciation and confirmation of who I am. ‘ Very beautiful N.P. …that is true abundance!

  262. There is this judgement I know I have and have seen in others, against those with money who spend it on nice things, like a nice car, clothes, travel, houses etc, a judgement on them for not holding back. When it isn’t irresponsible spending, there isn’t anything nicer than taking care of yourself with nice makeup, soft sheets, a warm cashmere cardigan – they don’t have to cost the earth, it can be in the little things, but why do we feel we need to withhold for ourselves? I read somewhere a quote ‘there’s nothing I’m not worthy of’ and its a really interesting and powerful statement, how many of us would feel selfish or embarrassed or arrogant to make that claim, but what if it isn’t any of those things but an acknowledgement that we are worth treasuring.

  263. It is inspiring and empowering to read of the various ways that frugality keeps us locked into an unnecessary cycle of holding back in so many ways.
    “Being frugal with: My time, my tenderness and my expression”

  264. You have changed the face of frugality from feeling we are not being enough to great joy in the abundance. When we know we are love, we always want to return to that. There is no place for frugal in tenderness, we all deserve that

  265. Learning not to shortcut our own needs is a big one. Certainly, as a mother I can find when I try and squeeze time out of my day and don’t put the quality first and in this it does not support me or anyone else involved. This blog presents that there is a more loving way we can do things – starting with ourselves and our connection to quality.

  266. There is frugality in denying ourselves to be who we are and thereby reducing ourselves and how that plays out in life and then there is the frugality of living who we are in full and reducing everything that we are not so that life becomes the fullness of what it can and should be.

    1. Thank you for this expansion Alexander. There is much to ponder about the use of this word and the depth and richness that the understanding invites.

  267. I had only considered being frugal was with money & material things, never with time or the preciousness of how I treat myself. This is a whole new way to look at things and the choices I make – am I worth taking the time and care over?

    1. Same here Laura, I had contemplated that we can be frugal with time, or with people and how we treat ourselves, because the obvious one is being frugal with money…. but it all makes sense, in that if you are frugal with money for example, we are bound to be frugal with other things, we just have not clocked it.

  268. That’s one I started to clock too NP ‘that’ll do’ and realised every cell in my body couldn’t and didn’t want to settle for less of what is available and what I know I want to live. I love doing everything to the fullest and making no compromises this includes for myself also.

  269. The truth of a word is in the truth of what is lived and thus expressed by using the word as this example shows.

  270. I love perfume, always have, and still do. In the past when I had perfume (one bottle) I sprayed as little as possible because the perfume was expensive and I had this belief that if something is expensive you have to make use of it for as long as possible. At some point the perfume does not smell that strong anymore. Nowadays I have five perfumes so I can choose and I spray as much as I feel to. The belief that if something is expensive so then you have to be economical is still there though and pops up at time. But I love my morning moments when I can choose which perfume to wear and just really enjoy it.

    1. I too used to come from the belief that if I had purchased something expensive, I had to be extra careful using it. Even with clothes, I could buy beautiful outfits that I couldn’t ‘afford’ to wear unless it was a ‘special occasion’. Today I know that every moment or occasion is equally special.

      1. I love that Eva and can relate to it. Everything expensive, whether it be food, a wonderfull bottle of olive oil, clothes or this ‘special body lotion’. Every moment is special, as there is only this one moment, so why not ‘use’ it to its fullest potential?

  271. I am starting to recognise frugality is a sign we don’t appreciate or value who we are. It seems to run deep in many people’s lives and I am also learning to unravel and let go of it myself.

  272. A beautiful unpacking of this being frugal with ourselves means being frugal with our love, holding this back and tight in our chests and not bringing the love and care that is so naturally there to express to others. There is no limit to our love, it is endless and beyond abundance. So how can we be frugal with ourselves when we know that we are this love?

  273. NP, I loved reading this and what you are sharing as an elder – very beautiful to read your words of wisdom and what you have learnt in life, thank you.

  274. It feels so great to share ourselves with others. If we hold ourselves back and do not allow others to see how delicious we are we are being frugal. It feels so great to let down the walls and allow ourselves out. We can then allow others in.

  275. I grew up with saving for later and being frugal in present time, there was never a feeling of abundance as you could never know what could happen, a very contracted way of living never in the solid foundation that love hold us in.

    1. I agree Annelies it is a much contracted way to live and when we are being frugal we are living in fear and not from abundance, trust and love.

  276. There is nothing wrong with the old school approach of not wasting things, and I am one who gets irked by wastage in terms of throwing out good food, wastage in other areas etc, but we still cannot limit our lives with the approach of frugality in terms of not offering the love and care that we all deserve. And so there are times when it is the most loving thing to cook a different meal for yourself even though there is good food already in the fridge that your body might not be feeling like. But at the same time it is important to check in on not being disregarding in terms of food, money, material things, and the way we do things. In the end it is about being true to our innate way of being, not about being frugal in a controlling way, and not about being too slack in a disregarding way – the balance is about honing into the body and its needs.

  277. Great blog on frugality NP! Thank you! I too grew up with a frugal approach to life, with grandparents from war times who used to re-cycle paper towels and tissues (!). And it did affect me too later on in life in ways that were more subtle but also more obvious ways. For example when I moved out of house and went into shared housing, I recall having lunch with a friend and we made our own sandwiches – I had my slice of bread, a small amount of butter (just enough to cover the bread thinly but no more), and then a small slice of ham just enough to cover the bread and no more, one slice of tomato on top and that was it – in my world this was how you had a sandwich as anything more was indulgence. And then here was my friend piling on the ingredients on his sandwich layering it up with lettuce, cheese, cucumber, pickles, and he actually used 2 slices of ham!!! Hilarious – at first I was shocked but then I yearned to do the same thing and so this really opened my eyes and allowed me to learn that it was OK to do this, exposing how frugal a background I had come from! And of course other areas of frugality were also exposed in time as shared here by NP…the rushing to put the cream on my face and in just the smallest amounts so as not to waste cream, the rushing to get the laundry folded so as not to waste time…

  278. Frugal in tenderness. That really struck me today, and I asked myself the question – am I frugal in my tenderness? Yes, I am, is the answer. I am glad you were not frugal in your expression and chose to write this blog as from the comments I can see that people are exploring how frugality works in their lives.

    1. How true Sarah – this blog has been a real eye opener on how imprisoning frugality actually is, not to say how many areas in life it can play out.

  279. Just this morning I was reflecting on ‘true purpose’ and whether I have been living this in my life and what came to me is that life is being lived to setup a foundation that will allow the time to ‘truly be in life’. Frugality has ruled and is still ruling life which means that we may not be sharing ‘all of us’ in abundance and quality. Thank you NB for exposing the truth that ‘Frugality’ is not only about how to make the money go round and that it is a choice we can all make to change what we bring and the abundance we bring it in, in any moment.

  281. Thank you, NP for sharing your story. Unfortunately, as women, it is quite a common story that we lose ourself in the role of mother, wife, daughter, sister and fixer of everything, but like you have stated it is at the expense of our own self-nurturing.

  282. And how amazing it is to now have the opportunity to understand how to do this through the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom and to then be a reflection for others to know that there is another way to live, a true way that honours who we all, innately, are.

  283. True abundance is the quality of our lives, how we self care and lovingly nurture ourselves, not material wealth. Time to re-write the script.

  285. When we share the enormous awareness that we have we are instantly in huge abundance.

  286. Last week I was visiting a remote location in Vietnam. It struck me how the people in the local community I met were very rich even though penniless. The love and care they shared with each other made them rich in a way money never could. Mind you it is nice to have both money and love!

  287. Piles and cupboards full of old un-needed stuff is very heavy. I love to clear out a cupboard or rearrange a room and feel the lightness this brings to the space and to my body.

  288. That make-do-and-mend stance is becoming a thing of the past as I feel my worth, which is then reflected in how I treat myself and the things that support me to be more of me.

  289. There is a lot to be said for being practical about finances and budget, it is when it becomes a life-consciousness and lifestyle that it becomes limiting and reductive. As you say NP ‘Frugality became about short changing myself from the abundance that I truly am.’ What a truly beautiful observation to make.

  290. It’s easy to revel in ever new ways of cutting corners, squeezing the last drop out of a tube, scraping a bowl down to its glaze while not realising that we have bought into a consciousness and its ideals that doesn’t serve us any longer. On the contrary, the ideal has us captive while we like to think that we’re in control and free to choose, whatever.

  291. Yes, NP, if I feel I do not have enough time in the morning to put cream on my body after a shower, it is an indication that I am living bound by time rather than in space. Now when I feel this, I stop and connect more deeply to my body and soul.

    1. I love that about the cream. I very often don’t put cream on because I am stuck in time and don’t connect deeply with myself and in that way cherish myself. I feel very inspired to make different choices and will start today with taking the time (space!) to apply cream.

  293. I also grew up in a family that didn’t have much. But I didn’t become frugal, instead I sometimes find it difficult to manage my money and often spend more than I should carelessly. Again, this may seem like it’s the “other end” of the spectrum, but all in all it’s the same – it too comes from a level of lack of self-worth. Not valuing the work I do, which then leads to a lack of appreciation of my income and a careless spending…

  294. I notice how often I go into ‘that will do’ mentality when I am feeling pressurised with time and how horrible it feels to come back to something when that has been my attitude.

  295. Its not so long ago that I remember life being much more simple than it is today, in terms of the possessions we own and what was available to us in the way of entertainment. And consequently, there was not so much to get stressed about. It seems the more technological we get as a race, the more complicated and demanding we get with each other. There is so much truth and wisdom in the old saying ‘less is more’.

  296. I Love the connection you have made between Religion (Christianity) and frugality. The church imposes too much for self is sin and to give to others less fortunate is the answer…. in my experience this is the purpose of the church…. hence people donate large sums to feel better about their abundant circumstances. I feel this is the reason the Catholic Church is soooo rich, it is such a BIG SET UP that permeates our lives, religious or not….

    As a young child who was brought up religious, three main things permeated my life/being. One example is a man who is rich donates $1000 to the church, but a family who doesn’t have enough to survive donates the only $10 that they have, which means they are the best – living angels. The church teaches people to give more than what you have to give, this makes you a saint…. and makes the church rich/powerful…..

  297. Some of may need to be frugal with aspects of our life. How we spend our money for example. However we don’t need to be frugal with ourselves in how we are through life. We can be deeply loving and caring with ourselves that it would not matter how much money we spent, this aspect doesn’t change. Self-Love and self-nurturing is not dependant on anything outside of ourselves.

  298. While reading your wonderful blog I could see so clearly how much frugality played out in my life, so much so that it “became about short changing myself from the abundance that I truly am.” It is so clear now that I may have brought so much to my role as a mother, doing all the things you did, but what I didn’t bring was all of me. I was the mother and the wife, not me the beautiful woman; she was placed on hold as caring for everyone else first was the belief that we lived by. And I know this was the way for so many women at the time. I wonder whether that has truly changed?

  299. We don’t just cut corners around desks but often try to cut corners around doing things that we know support us. Self care is a great example of this – we know it’s important and can transform many areas of our life, but we constantly try and get away with the very bare minimum and ‘care’ without actually committing to loving our body in all aspects.

  300. Thanks NP for sharing this, I can so relate to a lot of what you have written and resembles much of how I have lived in the past. Today I am learning to choose ‘No more ‘that will do’ when I feel to do something differently.’

  301. It is interesting how pictures and ideals make you do things totally unnatural to your state of fullness in our hearts. “I definitely did not want to ‘spoil’ them, as the belief was in those times.” How could you ever NOT spoil someone with love?

  302. Frugality rarely seems to be coupled with love, something children notice in particular where it is used as a cudgel when there are alternatives – without spending more money.

  303. This is such a great thing to highlight. Frugality keeps us small and held back. This doesn’t feel good and our body feels small and tight! Abundance however feels totally different. The freedom to spend or give what is needed allows space and freedom in the body. We can feel huge and spacious and joyful if we allow that freedom.

  304. ‘Frugality had permeated my way of life’ yes frugality can seep into all areas of life but from the teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine understanding and awareness can be gained with this and that love and true abundance can also be in all areas of life… it is in our choosing.

  305. Frugality is not from our nature, it is a man made quality that unites people with the same intention and supports in avoiding taking responsibility for our own lives, for how the world goes and to live all who we are.

  306. When we allow frugality into our life we enter into a measured life against a held set of ideals and beliefs, that otherwise could be a life of abundance when we allow ourselves to be impulsed by our inner most.

  307. Through the awareness brought by this blog I get to see in how many aspects of my life I practise the sort of frugality that actually dishonours me and others, keeps me short of abundance or lightness. E.g. saving 50 cents on buying something but spending much more energy and time on going to a different place for purchasing it and on top feeling the false triumph of doing so. The false frugality is loaded with idealism and thus with false rewards and pride.

    1. I love that you have picked up the pride of the spirit Alex in this frugality consciousness. You can hear it in the voice – a kind of smug self-satisfaction too. And then the balancing ‘splurge’ comes in some other area sooner or later, so it is not true economy or proportion in energetic terms – true proportion being one of the beautiful things on earth.

    2. Superb point Alexander. We create this false sense of accomplishment that actually beggars us further. When we introduce true purpose into our lives, the shift in emphasis to proper use of time and space enable us to be frugal with the correct things, such as not wasting time chasing illusionary bargains!

  308. I keep coming back to this sentence, NP – “Abundance abounds through my devotion to self-nurturing and self-love”. It inspires me because I have come to feel the truth in my everyday life, that we can have all the wealth in the world and feel empty and lacking inside, but also live a simply loving and modest life and feel like a queen.

    1. Nothing in this world will every satisfy or make you truly happy, when you don´t feel and live the richness of you in all that you do. Wealth can only be felt in your heart. That is true wealth.

    3. “we can have all the wealth in the world and feel empty and lacking inside, but also live a simply loving and modest life and feel like a queen’. Absolute gold Janet

  309. When I connect inside to this awesome flow of delicious energy, I realise that in reality it takes an immense effort to be frugal with love.

  310. NP what an amazing contribution to this blog site, I truly understand what you are saying and can relate it to my own life where I am frugal with the time and self love I have for myself, though no matter what we all know deep down no matter how much it is buried that we do indeed deserve the abundance of our own love.

    1. If we say Yes to our own abundance of love, there is no way in holding it back in any way shape or form. It is indeed a great contribution to look at any corner, where we cut ourselves short and say yes to a lesser and smaller version of who we truly are.

  311. Reading your comment here, Jane, I am reminded of the saying ‘less is more’ – it’s never about the quantity, rather the quality. As you share, what is important is allowing the space to feel into what is needed in the moment and providing that, nothing more, nothing less. Resisting the need to add more, ‘just in case’, as then we are taking away from the honouring of what we felt was needed and undermining our trust in ourselves, in what we know to be true – diluting our divine expression.

  312. There are so many ideals and pictures that we hold over ourselves and the one that is making their own clothes, not spending too much money, being sensible…when it all looks so reasonable and ‘good’ as this, so very hard to be shifted out of that and be able to see the reduction that this in fact is. That is the real evil of ‘good’ – it can trap us for a whole lifetime.

  313. We can be frugal with so many things. Even hugs and love. In the end it is us who suffers. If we do not open ourselves to the flow of life we miss out, and others miss out on us.

  314. If the money I am spending is coming from a place of honouring me and what will support me, I find the money I need is there.

  315. After reading this blog this morning the question came to mind ‘why can we choose for frugality while abundance is our true nature’? It makes no sense but I do know it from my own up-growing too. I was in the belief that frugality is a quality to treasure and to appreciate but found later the falsity of it, that life wants to be lived in full, in all its abundance that is available to each and everyone of us and not only to the selected few.

  316. This is really important what you share, and where you noticed that one ‘mindset’ actually affects all areas of life, not just around the obvious one. Frugal with food means by default Frugal comes into the way we care for ourselves and others. I’m learning that abundance is not actually ‘over indulgence’ but a quality that is expressed and received in many ways.

    1. Yes Rosanna, because we have lived with a level of frugality we have lost our connection with what the quality of abundance truly is.

  317. Frugality and extravagant are just the ends of a linear scale. Do we treat ourselves on this same scale by being less or living in excess? How we treat ourselves should never be measured.

  318. There are so many beliefs and habits to expose here about how frugal we are with our glory, love, tenderness and wisdom. Learning to break through these beliefs is an awesome journey of re-discovery, as we bring the fullness of our hearts to bear in all we do and all we interact with.

  319. Talking about ‘frugality’ in relation to money (and yes, frugality goes across the board energetically speaking) I had to be very frugal when I first left my ex-husband which meant also moving from the city and not having a job, and on top that being in my early 60s. It was a very weird time having to count how many things I could buy at the supermarket and not enjoyable in that sense. I was used to pretty much being able to spend what I liked within reason when I went shopping. I have had to bring a new approach to life and money where I am neither ‘Lady Bountiful’ (as I have been criticised for) nor ‘Scrooge’. I have found tuning into what is truly needed the loveliest way to go.

    1. ‘I have found tuning into what is truly needed the loveliest way to go’ – gorgeous, Lyndy. We know how to best support ourselves when we choose to connect to our own wisdom. Things are always changing for us and around us, so it’s important that we are always checking what feels ‘right’ in the moment, making continuous refinements and adjustments to honour where we are at.

      1. I love what you have said about refinements and adjustments Alison. We, as a race , have a deeply engrained notion that there is some fixed point where all will be well, all done, but this ‘end-pointed’ vision leads us astray. We can instead rest in God and continually refine and adjust according to the expansion of our evolution.

  320. ‘Abundance abounds through my devotion to self-nurturing and self-love, which leads to self-worth through appreciation and confirmation of who I am.’ – what a very beautiful and inspiring turn around you have made in your life NP, showing how irrespective of how long we have been living a certain way, we can always make the choice to change.

  321. ‘Abundance abounds through my devotion to self-nurturing and self-love, which leads to self-worth through appreciation and confirmation of who I am.’ This makes great sense. If I feel I am of value then I’ll accept all that is on offer that supports me. And if I am supported I naturally support all those around me because love is for everyone. I know I put a spanner in the works whenever I am not self-loving.

  322. It’s utterly ridiculous that we, the Sons of God should ever, ever experience frugality and the fact that we do choose to live frugally is a sad testerment to how ridiculously hard we work at denying who we are.

  323. And this applies to Love – We have Love in abundance, a never-ending supply, so why do we deprive ourselves and others and sometimes hold back sharing it!

  324. I am amazed how you could do all these things like baking your own bread, a veggie garden, making beautiful clothes and so on. That is a very beautiful skill but I can see that when it is done without love for ourselves it is actually never going to be as amazing as it could be when we do all that but no holding back on the love and care for ourselves. In other words never making those skills more than ourselves.

    1. Beautifully put Lieke. These are awesome skills to have, but they are not worth more than we are. Learning to appreciate our selves for just the quality of our ‘being-ness’ then imbues all we do with a rich love, whether that be making our own dresses or purchasing them from a shop, both will be an equally expression of our care and worth.

  325. I was struck last night when putting my new alarm clock next to my bed, how I didn’t want to leave the night light setting on incase it ran down the batteries – I could feel that sense of needing to ‘save it’ or ‘preserve it’ creep in even though I could easily just put in new batteries. I feel like it relates to what your sharing here, a frugality, holding back and contraction from being all of who we are, but also allowing life in even the smallest of ways, to be all it can be.

    1. I agree Jane, it is a symbolic reaction when we try and preserve or save something, never really allowing ourselves to just live and appreciate life in full.

    2. ‘allowing life in even the smallest of ways, to be all it can be.’ – Beautifully said Rebecca – allowing life’s natural flow as opposed to controlling it.

  326. I love the way you bring abundance to frugality to work together, it loses all the ‘not having enough’ but combines a fullness with the grandness to the abundance.

    1. I absolutely concur – frugality is no doubt linked to self-worth and what we ‘deserve’.

  328. ‘Frugality became about short changing myself from the abundance that I truly am’, I recognise this pattern, and how it has kept me from giving to myself and taking loving care of all my needs, and not sharing myself with others… always holding back the love that I am and come from. In a word contracted! But I have for some time now removed the straight jacket I was wearing, and have discovered that I love to share and I love to express and connect with others and have felt myself expand as a result.

  329. A great sharing NP, I feel also that is it our lack of self love ,care and connection so entrenched in the world and in the christian beliefs that in many ways encourage this instead of generosity with one self and others. An awesome expose of frugality it how feels like the opposite to Gods will.

    1. This feels very true, Greg, that our lack of self love, care and connection with ourselves, combined with false ideals and beliefs about our self-worth have led to this frugality as opposed to us being generous with and towards our selves and of our sharing of our selves with each other.

  330. I may share ‘the many ideas that pop into my awareness’ but I then can give myself a hard time for doing so retrospectively or apologise at the time when what I share often is of great value and isn’t mine to keep to myself.

  331. “I remember that it cost me $33 for the fabric and pattern, when something similar would have cost many hundreds of dollars, if not more” – i’ve found especially when it comes to purchasing things for myself in the past, that to get something cheaper, on discount, for less than, reduced, quick sale, a bargain… and stacking up the savings made is indeed a short changing frugality, as if we’re not worth the full price. It’s something and a need that consumer retail markets rely and thrive on.

  332. Wow, this is a great example of how competent we can be in life, but without the essential ingredient of self-love we left feeling empty and lacking. Nothing in the world provides us with true abundance apart from the alignment to our soul.

    1. I felt that too Janet. There are so many different ways in which we can carve out a life for ourselves but as long as we don’t implement the connection with our inner essence which comes from our soul, it will never be it.

    2. Well said Janet, so called ‘abundance’ that is accomplished without the soul is simply ‘accumulation’, it’s as simple as that.

    3. Beautiful Janet “Nothing in the world provides us with true abundance apart from the alignment to our soul.”

  333. I love how you say you allow abundance with every breath, NP. Breath is certainly something we are very frugal with at detriment to our health and well being. Allowing that deep expansive breath that affects every cell of the body brings us the abundance of vibrations, a sense of freedom, and the valuing of ourselves.

  334. A common theme in the ‘making do’ momentum is not having enough time but it isn’t about time… its about the quality of what we are doing, no matter how long or short it may take. And when we focus on the quality, time feels like it stands still.

    1. This is a great reminder that it is never really about time but about the quality we allow ourselves to be in. A paradigm shift in what we learn and live by. Forget the time and focus on your quality or more so focus on the quality and let that be the guiding rhythm in which you work with time, are in time and with that on time.

      1. I agree ladies the quality is the keep, allowing that guiding light and rhythm in which we work with time and move.

    3. This feeling of time standing still is rare for me as I am realising that I play a record of I don’t have enough time, almost like an autopilot. It is such a lie to say we are ‘too busy’ or we ‘don’t have enough time as it is merely an excuse for irresponsibility.

      1. What I have found is that by rushing through things and putting my body in a way of being that says ‘I don’t have enough time’ then that is exactly what I experience. However the more I can hang back a bit with my body and comminicate that I do have enough time not to rush and panic my way through things, then this again seems to be what I experience. It was difficult at first to change my movements but now having enough time has become my everyday experience, so much so that I often feel the most amazing amount of space as I move through my day.

  335. We tend to ‘put up with’ and ‘make do’ in many areas of our lives, constantly compromising what is true for us throughout our everyday… and it is often us personally that we compromise the most – everyone else gets what they need but we don’t take the time to truly honour and nurture ourselves. As adults we are then showing children that this is ok, and so the unhealthy cycle perpetuates.

    1. And the crazy part is that, even though the equation should go that everybody else gets what they need, that is not even so, because only when we honour and nurture ourselves, as you say, will there be a true service that everybody gets what they need, because everybody is giving it to themselves in the first place and there is then no need to do it for everybody else and from this foundation of love we hold for ourselves we can work together and support each other. A completely different way of being with each other than from what we have and learn in this world.

    2. So true, we are the living reflections for our children and we need to start walk the truth path, by not putting up with thins or making do, but truly honouring what our body is calling for.

  336. We live in such a different era now to when you were growing up. I recently had a conversation about this with my mum and dad and they were sharing when they were growing up as children in the war what times were like with rations and powdered eggs!!! and how people started to grow their food and really make the most of what little they had. I feel there was so much more appreciation of everything in this time than say what our younger and older generation have now where if you want it you go and buy it. I was going to say people do not go hungry now but that would not be true as I recently heard on the news how children and young people are filling their pockets up at school with food so they do not go hungry at the weekend. Even if this is one child it is happening with it is one child too many. What I love about what you share here though is how you bring the question of frugality back to full circle making first and foremost about the connection we have with ourself and asking how much do we truly cherish and love ourselves as when we truly have this, this is the absolute gold that will support us in all other areas of our life.

  337. Frugality is applied in so many ways – not only with items and things – also energetically and holding back on expressing from the grandness that we truly are – a reflection of the grandness to be shared in abundance with others, so they too have the opportunity to not be frugal with the truth of knowing and living who they are too.

  338. “But somewhere along the way I lost loving me and it was about everyone else.” – A great realisation to have, and when we hold ourselves in love we have more love to share with others, so it’s like an emanation rather than a one-way expression.

    1. I love your comment Jane as it is far from normal to other’s first. When this is seen in its extreme version it can be quite shocking the level of disregard that a person can choose and how, at times this can often be applauded by society so people are cemented in their unloving ways. The evil is then that, for those that are impulsed to follow a true way of loving oneself this can be seen as going against the norm in society and feared for how it will impact convention – would anarchy ensue? No, true love would be lived! And there would be true charity and not self-sacrifice.

    2. Like an emanation that’s part of a two way, back and forth flow. Just as we allow ourselves to expand and love more deeply, so we allow love in, to come back to us.

    3. It is almost a societal expectation that mothers, in particular, put their children first. In so doing, we are saying that we don’t matter as much. We have to first live for ourselves the truth that we want to pass on to our children

    4. I agree putting others first is far from being normal, its actually more harming as you are disregarding yourself and then what you are offering others far from the truth.

  339. Thank you NP, I imagine frugality and indulgence are similar in the sense that they can both stem from a belief or ideal about life, and when lived neither may be what is truly called for. Love and what is loving and practical is definitely the way to go. It’s a great topic, thank you for writing this.

  340. This is a beautiful blog about a lifestyle that often works but can have serious limitations. In my experience the key is how much is left after earning and spending and, if there is a shortage, increasing earnings can often be the more frugal thing to do.

    1. That’s the sneaky part – that it works. It can even be considered a responsible and thoughtful way to live. But does it allow for expansion? That is where it is not so successful.

  341. So often our reactions to the way we grew up sling us into the exact opposite behaviour but the core belief systems that underpin the behaviours are still running. Learning, studying and healing with Universal Medicine empowers us to dismantle the belief systems and re-connect to a true way of living, abundant in love, tenderness and connection. These qualities enable us to restore a steady and balanced responsiveness to our lives and relinquish the yo-yo reactions that previously lead us by the nose.

    1. Or we find ourselves taking on the same energetic patterns as our parents, without even realising, which is why it’s so important for us to feel into what feels supportive for us in the moment, so we are always honouring how we feel, as opposed to just continuing to do what we have done before.

    2. Exposing the yo-yo we live when we react to previous experience rather than explore, review and dismantle beliefs that we carry that are not part of our true nature but unquestioningly inherited or adopted, is very powerful and transformative.

  342. Many commonly accepted virtues are in reality compromises of a way of life we could instead be living rather than just existing and making do.

    1. Yes, we look at how others are doing life and are complementing them on the things they do so well often without seeing that most of these way of being have been developed as a tool to exist and get by in life, but not to live a life of true love for ourselves and all others.

      1. Lieke I agree we are “complementing them on the things they do so well often without seeing that most of these way of being have been developed as a tool to exist and get by in life” rather than staying with us and living our life with the true love and connection.

  343. I idealized frugality as a virtue to be as independent as possible from people, wealth, emotions, possessions and everything. And that is the point or question, what is the intention or motivation or compulsion behind frugality? It is a virtue when used free of any need and becomes a crippling detriment and even harm when driven by a need or distress.

    1. You say that you used it to keep independent from people, why is that? Why do we seek to be “independent”, the “warrior” who can do it all on their own? Is it because we are afraid of being seen as weak, or is it because we are too proud to say that we actually need each others help?

      1. There are several reasons; the two you mention are definitely key, another that comes to mind is trying to escape imposition, control and manipulation and the difficulty to set boundaries.

      2. Great what you pose Viktoria, ‘why do we seek the independent, the warrior’? for me it was that I did not want to be seen to be weak. I just wanted to carry on proving I could do it on my own.

    2. Great points Viktoria and Alexander, I can’t help but feel the examples you both came up with show us a lot about how society imposes differently on genders and how your answers show how we keep playing out the cycle of this with each other if we are not careful.

    3. It is something that many idealise and is seen as an honourable trait. But is that to keep us all under the same cap and not reflect what it is like to walk in abundance?

  344. Well said, NP. I have been in the ‘that will do’ mentality for most of my life and can catch myself sometimes still slipping into it, especially when I let myself become pushed for time, however I now generally bring a exquisite level of attention to detail and care in whatever task I am doing.

    1. Love it Janet – the ‘that will do’ mentality that often comes from a lack of worth too I have noticed! We do so have to watch this as it can creep back in again, and it is a form of disregard really, a form of negating who we are!

    2. Janet I can resonate with what you are sharing, it is easy to slipped into the ‘that will do” when pushed for time. But that then slips you into a downward spiral as you are not allow to bring you all.

  345. “Growing up, nothing was wasted yet there was no feeling of abundance except at Christmas time”. I find this a very telling sentence, that although we can be very smart at making food go a long way, not wasting anything, and rustling up a delicious meal out of ‘nothing’ – where there always seems to be enough to go around, and yet there is no feeling of ‘enough’ in the sense of abundance. This would certainly impact on how one grows up, and the related experience and beliefs around what actually IS enough/plenty/abundance.

    1. When it comes to food I’m struck by the marked in-balance in our world, with some countries lacking what they need to survive and others being in total excess. In many countries, we have become excessive in the amount that we consume and the ‘theatre’ that goes behind our preparation of food. We have moved beyond choosing the amount of nutritious food that we need to nourish our body to using food to numb us so we don’t have to face the truth of how we are feeling. Energetically, this excessive behaviour with food is the same energy as being frugal with food, they both feel un-loving.

      1. Yes, a super point you are making here and it shows yet again that it comes back to the quality we choose to live in and by, anything else is simply depriving ourselves and bodies of what they need and deserve.

    2. I agree Esther and Alison, the true nourishment comes from the quality we develop day by day, that we live with in our bodies.

  346. “No more ‘that will do’ when I feel to do something differently.” I know this feeling and it’s incredible to appreciate how I get such an obvious feeling of something is wrong if I try and settle for ‘that will do’ instead of choosing to be loving in what I do.

  347. In a world of credit spending and enormous debt, there is certainly a place for responsibility with our financial choices. Perhaps being frugal in the true sense offers an opportunity to spend wisely and not waste money.

    1. Again, I’m feeling how we seem to live in a way that’s back to front, inside out and upside down.
      Looking at our debt levels, our spending habits seem very irresponsible, we want to have what we want without necessarily having the financial foundation to support our buying habits, which is a huge drain on our energy levels. Yet when it comes to living the love that we are, expressing our truth, being open and honest we hold back, preferring instead to look outside ourselves for guidance on ‘how we should be’ in this life, so we can fit in. Again, this leads us to live in a way that is not true and, therefore, causes dis-ease within. How much simpler it is to be guided by our own innate wisdom, for we all know the truth when we choose to connect back to our amazing selves.

  348. I love the point you make here, Susan, that when being frugal dominates how we live, it can take the joy away – we know we could choose to live differently, but we choose not to, therefore, we are actively denying ourselves by living in this ‘reduced’ way.

  349. “The Changing Face of Frugality” – “frugality” is a need for rationing though when there is love why ration something that is ration-less, or cannot be rationed??!

  350. There are many definitions for the word frugal; thrifty, sparing, cautions, pious, penny pinching, miserly, monastic, austere ….. these all give a sense of holding back, of there being a possibility for more, but a choice is made to cut back. Then there are other definitions, which still fit with being frugal; economical, careful, prudent, sensible …. giving a sense of a weighing up of what is possible and choosing what is most supportive. With frugal, I feel it’s the intention behind the choice that’s important, does it come from love to support us in where we are at, or is it coming from lack of self worth and denying ourselves something as we do not feel deserving.

  351. At what expense do we negate what we feel? Our lives are so much richer for honouring our own feelings as well as those of others.

  352. What if we were frugal with our senses? What if we were only to use one eye half open, wear gloves all the time, wear a mask that filtered out all scents and have an earplug in one ear! When we fall into frugality and make it part of our lives do we not add our senses to the list?

  353. Those ‘nooks and crannies’ are well worth investigating because it is often in the tinniest of details that the greatest transformation occurs.

  354. To love ourselves truly and deeply would allow us to love humanity in the very same way. With this love, there is no need to be frugal as we are already abundant beyond our wildest dreams as with true love comes connection in relationship communicated with our very best interests at heart that will always work in conjunction with the best interests of All. This is the greatest abundance people could ever yearn for.

  355. “I’m learning from others much younger than me to not short cut my own needs (being frugal) to satisfy another.” The true path to evolution means staying open to learning from everyone, young and old alike, we all have something to offer each other.

  356. ‘Abundance abounds through my devotion to self-nurturing and self-love, which leads to self-worth through appreciation and confirmation of who I am.’ Beautiful N.P. growing that richness that is always within us.

    1. I love it Jenny – ‘growing that richness that is always within us’. The more we see we already have everything within and we simply need to surrender the more abundance of love we will have in our lives.

  357. ‘But somewhere along the way I lost loving me and it was about everyone else’, yes I recognise this as I am sure will so many other women….and then it becomes an ingrained habit to not give to ourselves, whether that be taking a bath or a walk, to have a nap, to take time when dressing or to make a much needed hair appointment. When we start to put ourselves first in our lives, all that changes, and now I love nurturing and nourishing my body with whatever it needs as my self-love has deepened.

  358. Being frugal with your expression…. I never considered that before, but of course any form of holding back, not expressing what wants to come out has a big impact on our body. Let’s express love (=truth) in full.

  359. There are so many similar circumstances in my life, to which l never thought to attribute to frugality.

    1. Yes, anything that feels comfortable but isn’t love needs re-considering.

  360. Thanks for expanding on our understanding of frugality and abundance. There is so much more to both words than lack of, or abundance of ‘stuff’. The more I accept myself, the more abundant I am, but not in a way that is out of balance or too much.. abundance to me now means that there is a quality to all that I do, a depth of love that I am learning to live, to the best of my ability, and the deep contentment of simplicity.

    1. This is so true, Bryony – “The more I accept myself, the more abundant I am”. When I look around me at the general state of humanity, there is a general lack of this abundance, and we could all do with a good dose of self-appreciation and self-acceptance. Thank goodness Universal Medicine teaches the importance of these simple principles in daily life.

  361. It’s interesting the many ways frugal can be in our lives, as your list shows..”Why would I not take the time to gently and lovingly apply cleanser, toner and moisturiser to my face, lotion to my body – how much extra time and tenderness does it take?” How much are we short changing ourselves with frugality from the natural abundance that comes with our inner connection?

  362. ‘Why would I not take the time to gently and lovingly apply cleanser, toner and moisturiser to my face, lotion to my body – how much extra time and tenderness does it take?” It seems we have allowed our lives to be governed by time, rather than our focus being on how we do everything that we do in the time that we have.

  363. I love that you have brought this subject up, as it has made me scrutinise my relationship with frugality. We live on a planet that has an abundance to support us all if we lived in harmony and cared more about ourselves, each other and the planet than hoarding wealth. My parents were post WW2 and frugality seems to have been passed on to me in a lot of ways but then I blow it in other ways.

  364. Definitely the war years had an impact on the frugal ways that got passed down, yet this day and age by contrast, has a huge waste and ‘disposable’ ethic. However, the frugality with which we treat our own being has remained the same in both environments – the sense of worth-less, dishonouring and ‘not to be valued’ is still here and very evident. That stance of frugal is diminished as we build a deeper relationship with ourselves to honour the inner environment and our sense of true worth.

  365. “Being frugal with: My time – ” – this and all those points I can relate to , and what came up too was just how frugal we are with everything .. because we are frugal with ourselves in the first place; frugal on the love of oneself.

  366. Ha, this has caught me out.. applying creams at lightening speed. I never used to cream my body and can often make a sweeping gesture to my body with a whiff of cream because I haven’t left myself enough time.
    How exposing – that I haven’t allowed myself a few minutes to perform this loving action? It shows how deep frugal gnaws into the body, lovely to drop that old habit now. We are so worth it.

  367. I know that I can go into being frugal with time for others, or supporting others in small ways. This article has supported me to ponder on it some more and I can begin to change this pattern.

  369. As mothers we so often make it about everyone else and then become resentful of the fact that no one seems to notice us but how can another possibly see us if we can’t even see ourselves?

  370. Many women have turned themselves into ‘work horses’, under the banner of frugality and never question the fact that they have. Of those women there will be some who genuinely need to watch every penny but there will also be many who have simply taken on a belief or rather a number of beliefs around money, spending and saving and like any beliefs they become enslaved by them. We each carry out the commands of beliefs without question, our actions and thoughts ensuring that our beliefs get reinforced in our bodies. If we were to eradicate all beliefs from the world there would be an instantaneous lightening effect, as the pockets of darkness that were previously housing beliefs would suddenly be free to house the truth that they naturally contain.

  371. “I begin to realise that I have lived my life with no true connection to who I truly am, just a reduced version of the real me”, pretty much all of us have reduced ourselves down into thimble sized versions of who we are in truth and the chaos and the carnage that we live amongst is testimony to this fact.

  372. Sometimes being frugal can take over and crush any abundance that may be there for us to have, especially if we fail to accept it that we are worthy of such abundance.

  373. “That will do” can be such a heavily laden statement, one of judgement of given upness, of uncaring, self abandonment, some might even say abuse. It can also be said to denote strength and commitment when we are saying that we have had enough of something. It is all in the energy that the words come with. Becoming more aware of how we express, bringing more clarity and honesty to the way we communicate is vital to the expansion of which you speak.

  374. It is very worthwhile to once and a while stop and reassess the foundations upon which we have based our various ways of relating to life. Are they based on love, appreciation and expansion or are they born out of hurts and perception of lack?

  375. Thank you, NP. This line says it all for me – “Abundance abounds through my devotion to self-nurturing and self-love”. When we love ourselves we are rich beyond measure, and this cannot but flow out into all aspects of our lives.

  376. When we hold on tightly nothing can flow, and nothing can enter our lives. When we release the grip and allow an abundance within us we allow abundance within our lives. A perfect reflection.

    1. I love your reflection here Rebecca and the wisdom it holds. This is something I am integrating more and more into my life. It was a very foreign concept earlier in my life.

  377. It is almost like we are scared of abundance, of being all of who we are and expressing it with ourselves and others. I recently was at an event and there was lots of meeting and greeting and talking to do, which I enjoyed and felt like an extension of my everyday interactions, but when talking to someone else afterwards they felt the relief of it being over because it was like a performance, because we don’t normally live as open and ‘on’ – we save it for events and moments which then feels like a performance and exhausting.

  379. A very reflective blog showing the frugality we are with loving ourselves and denying the abundance we are from and know. Showing that .we have a constant chance to change this by honouring ourselves making loving choices and allowing love in our lives is inspirational .

  380. When it comes to money, I consider that I have always had enough but when it comes to love, I felt deprived. What I am learning now is that the love is within me, not outside, so I have been looking in the wrong place all my life. Now I am learning to be especially tender with myself so that I can feel the love that is there.

  381. I never considered before how big the impact of frugality can be and in how many areas of our life it can creep into. A ‘that will do’ mentality both in receiving and giving doesn’t allow for the volume of love from the universe to come through.

      1. Yes, it is a sort of contract we have with each other to stay safe, stay small and keep everything as we know it to be.

      2. One day we will all realise that the ‘safe’ that we have all been desperately clinging onto has actually been as safe as a treacherous cliff face.

  382. When I think of frugality it brings up the feelings of some of the worst parts of organised religion. There is a feeling of self-sacrifice, false humbleness and trying to ‘get to God’ by being meek and poor. There is no love in any of this, so God will not be a part of it. Only man made institutions that benefit from us being subservient and self-sacrificing would promote such behaviour.

  383. I love that you didn’t throw out the old and bring in the new because we so often end up going to the other extreme and that doesn’t work either. There is a balance and appreciation that comes with allowing abundance in our lives.

  384. Frugal represents so much of our current daily living … we measure how much we will show our true selves, how much love and joy we will show another, how much we will do for another – which means we are constantly compromising ourselves, putting up with less than the glorious beings we all innately are.

  385. Your blog has expanded the usual meaning of ‘frugal’ by showing how it can be associated with expression, with time and with tenderness – certainly makes one think ‘outside the square’ !

  386. No more that will do…. this is like my mantra, quick as you can… that will do. So indicative of a lack of care and self worth. It leeks out everywhere. But really quite simple to recognise and actually shift by, like you have shared, taking the time to tenderly attend to the washing as a start.

  387. Who said that being tender and loving takes time?! Since when does time determine quality? Sure sometimes there are things that do take more time seemingly like having a bath if you need it or going for a walk. But if we are settling for less in the quality of how we live simply so that we can ‘just get things done’, are we not settling for less in our overall quality of life?

  388. Being frugal is great when it is needed but it cannot come with a sense of being impoverished or with a compromise. Being frugal can be us being wise about how we spend our energy.

  389. NB, I can relate to being taught about frugality right from birth. It was seen as a necessity in our home and yet I can see where it cut out the opportunity for abundance in the universal sense to flourish. One particular area that comes straight to mind is in the area of self care and self nurturing where ‘abundance’ was dismissed as self indulgent time wasting. Yet in recent years I have come to see that allowing such abundance into my life is supporting me to understand and value who I genuinely am as a human being. What a contrast!

  390. I’ve been called thrifty before, I learnt to economise in so many ways from my parents but what I have realised is the need to control I have had behind it and the fear that is behind the control. Yet as I address this, letting it go, and continue to deepen my relationship with myself abundance is naturally there and that frugality keeps me from it.

    1. This is such a pertinent point. Frugality starts with the frugality of the self-nurture and lack of care we give to ourselves that we feel we don’t deserve. This can begin a whole catalogue of denials and poor choices in that lack of honouring but in understanding what is behind all of this and with some allowing and understanding we can begin to heal and open up to the possibility that life doesn’t have to be a struggle.

  391. There might be activities in our day, such as putting on makeup at ‘lightning speed’ that we’ve never truly given ourselves the time or space to enjoy. Exploring having the space to do these things (and not rushing our way through them) can be mind blowing and totally transform our relationship to them!

  392. I love the idea of frugality and abundace working together. Making good use of our time to prepare something that will support us later, brings abundance on so many levels when the time comes.

  393. Being frugal is living in a constant compromise. It feels for me like a holding back and denying of your own glory, which would never settle for less than the full volume of our expression.

    1. ‘Never settle for less than full volume’ I can feel this frugality and fear of scarcity is based on living trying to control every thing and having no relationship with connection to divinity let alone feeling glory.

  394. Frugality for me goes hand in hand with function and when I am merely functioning or surviving in life I am missing out on the abundance and joy that is possible.

  395. It is so easy to take those things we have been brought up with as a normal and simply live that way and how beautiful that we can unravel these habits, discovering that that what has felt normal to us is far from what is natural to us and with this realisation and understanding step by step let go of these not so normal ways of ours.

  396. I feel there is definitely a place in our lives for frugality, the amount of stuff produced these days only to be thrown away or the unnecessary extravagance when there are people starving, but if it is to do with the care we can show ourselves and others in the process, bring it on.

  397. I was so frugal with my time for myself, years ago, always filling it with jobs and time for others, 4 children, getting caught up in others’ issues, no wonder I had such no self-worth. It was in that post war consciousness that we wasted absolutely nothing, rolled up bits of string were stored and reused, elastic bands kept in drawers. There was a feeling that there was not enough to go around and a constant need to ‘make do’. I have to stop myself still and feel the abundance we have all around us.

    1. I smiled as I read your comment, Gill, as I keep my elastic bands! Actually, I really enjoy taking them off the vegetables that I buy and reusing them for another purpose, I love that they are interesting colours and not just brown!

  398. Often in life we’re offered a choice between frugality (making do) and expansion (love) even in the tiniest details of our lives, its worth feeling into the energy behind our choices.

  399. Abundance is knowing we already are everything and appreciating all that life offers.

  400. Abundance has nothing to do with material objects. I have known people who have had plenty of money and material things yet sad to say, their self love has been in extremely short supply. What a true treasure it is to meet someone whose love for themselves and everyone else is overflowing, what a treasure in the world they are.

  401. My parents raised a family of 6 children, so there was never a feeling of abundance, the feeling was of; just getting by and living from week to week which I also took on. And the other belief I took on from my parents was: you have to work long and hard for your money’, which is of course completely false, but nevertheless, this is what I found was happening in my life. This has now changed as I have a deeper connection with my body, and increased self-worth and self-love.

  402. From my experience calculation never ends up being simple. It tends to bring complication and make things cloudy rather than the simplicity of going with the flow.

  403. What an awesome blog, so honest and down to earth. I loved everything you shared as I could relate to so much especially around time, always rushing, doing things as fast as possible but with no quality, short changing myself and all others – ouch!

  404. There is such irony in that choice to put others ‘first’ – “But somewhere along the way I lost loving me and it was about everyone else” as we know full well that to nurture ourselves is the answer to being able to make it about everyone else.

  406. When we are frugal by choice in specific situations, then I feel that it can be appropriate and supportive but when being frugal is a non negotiable way of living that infiltrates numerous areas of our lives, then like anything that is ruling us, it needs to be looked at.

  407. It’s about the nature of how we approach things, is it done in a reduction of who we are or an expansion of who we are, and are we taking care of ourselves while we do so.

  408. This is great to stop and become aware of where and why I use frugality. For me being frugal was based on feeling I needed to do more and ticking off everything on my list. I Remember just not allowing myself to sit down and play with the kids when they were little because I saw it as a waste of time and there was more things to do. I can see where I am still doing this and your blog is helping me to take stock of that. Very inspiring to read how you have to turned this around.

  409. Being frugal spills into every aspect of our lives and we hold back and drip feed to the world and others our essence. Withholding our true self is the same as keeping anything that is free to run, swim or fly in the natural world in a cage.

  410. I notice how contagious frugality can be if we are not living from our essence. I find it is then easy to take on layers of different things that covers our true essence from multiple sources. Sometimes it could be from our relationships, from society or from our own ideals and beliefs. The key is to connect to our essence as much as possible and we are then less likely to absorb what is not loving.

  411. Do we LOVE in abundance, or in small ‘digestable’ bursts? A classic example of this is meeting people on public transport, shops or out in the world – you might have an amazing conversation with someone where you learn so much about what they do, their angle on life and feel a huge amount of love and respect for them, but 99.9% of the time we’ll finish the shopping and make a polite exit without expressing any of this appreciation.

  412. Beautiful “Abundance abounds“ I love this as I say it out loud. I know my awareness of abundance has altered deeply since I have connected more with myself and my body. Simple self care practice can bring something very abundant when we start bringing in consistency.

  413. I was brought up with this belief that ‘that will do’, ‘we can make do’ and ‘hand me downs’. Its been so deeply engrained in my life that I still find myself hanging onto things ‘just in case’ or because they can be reused thereby saving money, even if it is only a few pennies. Before we know it we can end up with a houseful of ‘stuff’ that just creates clutter and extra work.

    1. I loved hand me downs and accepted them from everywhere – I got absolute gems and tried clothes and shows I would never have tried or worn had they not been offered to me. Yet I found myself unable to say no and ended up with so much I didn’t wear or didn’t actually have space for. Oh for balance!

  414. Someone very close to me is a child of WW2, having lived with great hunger and not much in his life he is today still living from the fear of not having enough and not able to see -and use for himself – the abundance that has come his way financially through a lifetime of hard work. It is a very clear example of how much one can deny themselves through frugality in the false sense.

  415. This blog is a real eyeopener, even though I have worked with frugality, how it came into my life, where it affected me and how to let it go, in reading this blog I realize more deeply the many ways in which it can still play out in my everyday life – not wearing my favourite clothes unless there is a special occasion or being sparcely with my creams and lotions are some simple examples but much more so in not allowing the abundance of love and support that is there from God and the Universe.

  416. ‘Frugality had permeated my way of life, and it was partnering up with my then undetected lack of self-worth, to become something different. It was about minimalist living, saving as much as possible and doing as much work as possible, negating what my body may have been telling me.’ – when we do not value our own magnificence we live in a way that does not honour who we truly are. It is quite shocking how hard it can be for us to accept how truly exquisite we really are.

    1. ‘It is quite shocking how hard it can be for us to accept how truly exquisite we really are.’ Yes Alison, you have truly made me sit and soak this in, along with the word ‘magnificence’. I feel an expansion in my chest already.

  417. I find it fascinating the way we twist and turn and manipulate life to suit our own agenda’s, all to try and stay as individuals when we are all the same when we live from our hearts… we all have the same qualities within us no matter how unique our outer world may be.

  418. Frugal takes on a whole new meaning when we relate it to the depth of nurturing, love and appreciation we could offer ourselves… when we only give ourselves the crumbs, the leftovers from what we have supposedly offered everyone else. But have we truly offered that nurturing love and appreciation to others, if those qualities are not given space to be developed within us first – to then be able to offer another?

  419. I can relate to many of your experiences NP. I grew up learning not to be wasteful and to be careful and not extravagant with how I lived, but after reading your blog I realised the many ways this “Frugality had permeated my life…” and how by being careful in this manner can not only be dishonouring of myself but I may be turning down a ‘gift from heaven’ – an offering from the hierarchy that could help support me in my evolution.

  420. Abundance is not having lots of stuff but its a way of approaching life. It’s what we can receive when we are open to seeing what’s already there.

    1. Well said, Jennifer, I feel abundance starts with us feeling a fullness within, being full of the love that we are. With this fullness, it changes the quality of how we are in life, what we are able to access and equally what we are contributing.

    2. Love this Jennifer: abundance is ” what we can receive when we are open to seeing what’s already there.”

    3. Great point Jennifer and I have noticed the more I open to letting the abundance be there in my every day approach to life the more I receive the money and the things I need – no more, no less, sometimes in ways I don’t expect but always in perfect balance.

  421. I am glad you were not frugal with your expression this time as I am sure that your sharing on frugality will hit a chord with many. Fascinating to explore the word and take it further than just money, which for me it is most associated with. I live away from my main home during the week, in a granny flat, and I have one table that serves as my study desk and my eating desk. As my dinner was ready, I kinda half turned my study desk into my eating desk and your blog came into my head. Was I being frugal with my time and not bringing my full attention and love to how I can eat my meal. So I did take my study things off my desk and turned it into a nice place for me to eat my meal. Thank you.

  422. What a beautiful reminder of the abundance that love always comes with. Love and fullness, the fullness in all that we do and have come hand in hand.

    1. So true Katerina, when we live love we can feel the fullness and abundance within us and all around us. It is when we are not living who we are in true love that we feel the lack, emptiness and frugality along with many other ill behaviours then kicks in.

  424. The way of frugality when it is not truly about graceful economy is a great way of us preventing the fullness of ourselves to be lived in the world – a twisted version, smaller, less beautiful and powerful.

  425. ‘From an untrue use of frugality towards true abundance – discovering pockets where this twist of frugality is hiding and calling it out – is an ongoing process and I’m learning from others much younger than me to not short cut my own needs (being frugal) to satisfy another.’ How true NP – discovering twists of programming from the past, whether it be of ‘frugality’ or ‘politeness’, even we we have become acutely aware of them ,continue to hide in the fabric of our movements through life, and it is an ongoing process. But once seen we can never go back and lie between the sheets of the untrue.

  426. Looking at why I have lived a life of simplicity and frugality has helped me understand that living the way I did was not truly loving.

    It looked good,but I was doing it more because I felt I did not deserve more, rather then because it was a responsible way to live.

    Going deeper in any situation has helped me uncover the truth.

  427. This blog reminds me of the importance of smelling the roses along the way. It is so easy to get caught in the drama of a life we ourselves have created. Taking moments to appreciate the simple aspects of life are so useful in reconnecting us to the true flow of the Universe.

    1. Beautiful Golnaz. Do we truly appreciate the little moments, or do we rush along so we can get somewhere? Fully appreciating the small moments allows abundance in our lives.

  428. Yes, having grown up in a similar way I can relate completely NP. I have seen through reading your blog that I have had many oscillating moments, frugal in many ways and in other ways extravagant as a kind of reaction to the frugality. The movement between the two bring an unpleasant inconsistency to ones life and provide no true support whatsoever. Your description of making your omelette was a powerful one and it had my mouth watering, true nourishment rather than functional.

  429. “Frugality became about short changing myself from the abundance that I truly am.” I can really relate to this having played out in my own life. It was tied into my lack of self-worth.

  430. It is interesting to think how it may not often take any longer to do something like apply face cream or make-up with tenderness (or not much longer) and yet how we can think of ‘not having enough time’ being the defining reason for not bringing that quality to how we are with ourselves…

  431. “I have lived my life with no true connection to who I truly am, just a reduced version of the real me that I now know is an avoidance of the responsibility I have to bring my true power to everything I do.” This is a deeply powerful truth expressed here. Thank you for your honesty.

  432. I love the balance you introduced to round off this blog . . . “Frugality and abundance working together!” . . . as it really cut the energy of one being ‘good’ and the other ‘bad’ as too often we can find ourselves on a bit of a pendulum swing in reaction to how we may have been previously. I have done this all my life until now where I am working out what is true rather than what is better.

  433. I can recall the little things my mother did to save money and much of what she did rubbed off on me although I did get a little into the disposable world. Now I have a partner who inspires me to mend rather than replace and it’s fun. Fortunately though he is not frugal in the love he offers me, which I truly appreciate.

  434. A great expose of how we can be so frugal, not only with ourselves, but also with others.

  435. Thank you NP, for as you have shared life is all about “true connection” and may I add that life only improves when our inner-most or essence is connected to, which is our “true connection”.

    1. I agree Greg, otherwise we can improve superficially on the outside but without ‘true connection’ we feel a massive tension and uneasiness in the body – which is why we see so many mega stars having pretty disastrous personal lives even though they seemingly have it all.

      1. Spot on James, we always have to look at the whole, because if we just take a snap-shot deficiencies are hidden and usually by us wanting to market something we are not. So the sum of the parts for some is not so good as we are all deficient in certain areas of life, so that part of our lives is pulling us down and when we are transparent this is simple to detect our areas in life that need more attention. Then when needed we can start to bring in as a base to those areas of our lives that we feel are deficient in any way, so respect and decency and maybe to even bring in some Gentleness as in the Gentle Breath Meditation can be a good approach.

      2. I used to think I could compartmentalise life and have my me time away from others or in my head but found when I do this it effects every other area of my life and so the more I stay consistent in all areas the simpler and less exhausting life becomes. However, it starts with 1 area and then bringing it to all and also with no perfection as the self bashing for me has been very damaging and very deconstructive.

      3. Deconstructive-ness comes from compartmentalisation or maybe that is up-side-down, and, which ever way works being connected brings the opposite.
        Then our essence when connected to ”affects every other area of my life” so as we reconnect to our essences life becomes “simpler” and much more joy-full.

  436. Yes.. we can never not be full of abundant love because that is who we are, so the question is why are we telling ourselves that we are less than this, and avoiding the responsibility of living it?

  437. I know that thought ‘that will do’ very well. It actually hurts when I find myself saying that will do. Why because I know either myself or someone else will be left to return to or see the imprint that I have left. So why would I not want to leave a truly loving imprint everywhere I go so then I am met by that in my return as is everyone else.

    1. I know I have used ‘that will do’ also very well. I can feel it comes from a layer of ‘I can’t be bothered’ which in turn stems from a lack of self-worth and a given-up-ness on life.

  438. Thank you – I had not thought of frugality in this way, extending beyond the obvious of saving as much as possible, from that place of inner constraint that is underlined by a lack of worth, to what you are describing here in relation to your time and who you are as a person. Do we feel like those times when we are confident and powerful and amazing are to be saved and spent wisely like they are expendable, or because we can’t possibly be worth living like that all the time?

  439. I have been given a massive reflection from someone I have met recently, I have just realised by reading this blog how through their movements they have reflected back to me how I have been extremely frugal with myself, denying myself any love. I seem to be withholding my own love as a self-punishment for something that happened in a past life that is with me in this life unresolved.

  441. I remember my horror when someone I know described the man she married as her ‘will do’ man. Her preparedness to settle for less in order to fullfil a need to be a married woman was astounding. Not being frugal in life can mean not saying ‘yes’ when we mean no, choosing to honour and valuing ourselves married or not.

    1. What comes to me reading your comment is how much influenced with pictures and ideals you have to be, when you behave like this. And I feel the catholic church in it, that always works with being of no worth and less than God, that you should stay small and your own will and self love is not supported at all. It is diminishing the power of a woman (and men) in every aspect and keeps us acting like puppets, with no self honouring whatsoever.

    2. This is a great example – saying yes when we really mean no, placing ourselves in positions that we dont truly want to be in

  442. It is very interesting how there are certain beliefs, ideals or values or subtle and not so subtle messages from society that can leak into our lives and permeate everything without us almost realising it. So it is a super cool thing to do to get more honest about these and to start to unpick them so we can live free of these.

  443. Very recently I was saying to a group of friends how I’ve lived the last two years in a financially tight squeeze. It has had a detrimental affect on my relationships, the main one with myself creating so much anxiety and drive within my body. I still feel I have so much more to appreciate the abundance I already have and can choose to live in. Tenderness and gentleness is richer than lots of money.

    1. The ‘horse-hair’ shirt of frugality can keep us in victim mode and, as you say Leigh, blind us from the abundance that is innately within and around us all.

  444. Good point Richard. We can be frugal with our expression. Why hold ourselves back when we have so much abundance to share with the world.

  445. The flow of money reflects our flow in life and wherever it is wasted or we are extravagant…or wherever we are tight and resistant, it is a reflection of something that we are choosing; whether it be an indulgence, a contraction, a resistance to self-love and our own nurturing or a pursuit of a distraction or comfort. And what is fascinating is that this reflection is valid whether we have £1 or £1M!

    1. Yes, True wealth is not about money but in the way we live and learn each day. There is so much to uncover in ourselves of great value and no money is needed to acces it. In turn though, when we do acces it and live it constantly, we will always have what we truly need.

  446. Watching Serge Benhayon for the last ten years gives me a perfect reflection of the abundance of love. He always has space for everyone, always gives everyone his full attention, presence and love – but at the same time is never, ever wasteful or indulgent. When it’s done, it is done; no more needed. The perfect balance of abundance and frugality.

    1. Yes Otto your observations are so true. Serge is such a great teacher on all levels, and lives the wisdom he so generously imparts to us all – a true example of abundance.

    2. It’s a balance. One that our souls and God’s earth know in absolute perfection. And thus is it any wonder that our disobedience of our soul’s impulse puts us, our bodies and the world in such a state of imbalance?

  447. I am constantly amazed how Universal Medicine empowers us to demolish all those habits that have restricted the expression of our tenderness. What an awesome quality to unleash on the world!

  448. Totally agree NP ‘abundance abounds’ and that doesn’t mean one is wasteful – true economy in both money and energy is beautiful. But to approach any purchase or action from a frugality mentality is a contraction, a stopping of the flow of life from which huge abundance pours.

    1. We see this in the case of hoarding things as well. It is important to learn the art of letting things go. I feel there’s a contraction presenting there also, when we cannot let outdated clothes of things go.

      1. Totally agree Irena – holding onto clothes, ideals, positions, instead of openly responding to the next offering of the universe is a form of madness – an intense need of a false security in the amidst of the abundance of God’s love.

  449. Expanding the understanding of frugality from objects, particularly money, to include loving care of oneself brings a whole other dimension that exposes our belief in one’s lack of self-worth.

  450. There is such a difference between applying creams to nurture us or as a ticking the box exercise, when we bring the care to ourselves that we would to a small baby we feel held and loved which deeply supports us with all that we need to do. Why wouldn’t we care for ourselves the same way?

    1. It has taken so many years for me to come to this truth as well. We give ourselves such a hard time for so long. It is utter madness, but it is normal for humans to be super hard on themselves.

  451. I recognise the frugality you describe NP, and I know that in my case it has been something that I had employed to keep myself as ‘not worthy’, a way of providing myself ‘less’ to reflect the ‘less’ I had thought of myself as. I’ve been working my way back out of this as I get to know my true qualities and the value of them (me) in life.

  452. “No more ‘that will do’ when I feel to do something differently.” NP that is so inspirational as my feeling is that most of us know exactly from their own way of living what you have shared in your honest blog. It is our choice how we want to live and that is our greatest gift – we can change everything in every second of our lives.

    1. Yes Ester “we change everything in every second of our lives”. Understanding this truth, life can never be at a standstill. We’re forever invited to be more, not less.

  453. I can remember very clearly the day I realised that I had “lost loving me and it was about everyone else” and it was such a profound revelation that it brought me to a stop as I asked out loud “Who am I?”. I realise now that I had lost who I was simply because I had been frugal with my love for me as I believed that everyone else deserved it first. These days I know with every part of my being to be frugal with love is no longer an option, in fact the love for me is of the utmost importance if I am to release any remaining pockets of frugality in my life.

    1. An honest appraisal Ingrid and like you I was frugal when it came to loving me and put others first.
      Only yesterday, a friend called me surprised as they hadn’t heard from me in a while as confirmation my ready availability to support all others at my own expense is over.

  454. “Along came the children: one, two, three! I loved being pregnant. I loved having babies. I loved being a wife and mother. But somewhere along the way I lost loving me and it was about everyone else.” great words you share here as without a doubt the key to life is starting with loving oneself, without that love nothing else really matters and we end up trying to do things to make ourselves feel better without any luck.

    1. Very true if we do not start with the foundation and basis of love for ourselves then nothing we do will ever satisfy us or leave us feeling content. We can try all we want to attain things from outside but we will always be left wanting and knowing there is more.

  455. There is nothing like abundance when that abundance is from within and is called love. A quality that flows naturally when it comes to money matters as well as the wise banking of continuing love.

    1. Yes I agree things really flow when we accept the abundance of love that is always there within and I know for me one of the keys of this is appreciating myself, what I bring and those around me.

  456. ‘Frugality’ is linked to lack of self-worth that I have allowed to be played out in my life and it squashes my connection to grandness and preciousness. I also, see this play out in people close to me and I can see how it can be consuming at times.

  457. Thank you NP in the past I have definitely been frugal with my time, tenderness and expression and can feel how this has short-changed myself and others. The more I build my feelings of self-worth the more abundance flows in my life and the space expands to share myself with others in a myriad of ways.

  458. A lot of what has been written resonates with me even though growing up I always felt well off and well provided for as my parents were in the army and we did not want for anything. Everything house wise was provided for us, from a house to knives and forks to bedsheets. We had a few boxes of personal belongings that we shipped all over the world but when we arrived at a new house every item we could possibly need was there waiting for us. We did the check-in and then used everything as if they were ours. Looking back as a child I just thought everyone moved into houses and were given everything. The frugality kicked in when my father had finished his 24 years of service and we had to fend for ourselves and buy everything but they did not miss a beat because they had been brought up in the second world war and had very little to live on. So they very easily reverted back to being resourceful and took it all in their stride.

  459. When we are frugal, not only do we not stop to smell the flowers along the way, we don’t even notice or appreciate them being there!

  460. This is a great sharing NP because it allows us to pause and consider the quality with which we move, (get things done etc.) and whether this movement is in keeping with the true quality of our full and true self (our Soul) or whether we are cutting corners and skipping bits and thus living a vastly reduced version of ourselves (our spirit).

  461. I was big on ’that will do’ I would often only complete things to a point and then think ’that will do.’ This attitude did not do the task its justice nor myself as I cut short what I was capable of delivering so I did not get the chance to know or appreciate the fullness of my expression.

  462. In the past, I used to be frugal with money, but I know this stemmed from a lack of worth and not feeling enough. The more I began to feel my worth, the more my finances and ways of being with money flowed and the more open and giving I became with others.

    1. Rachel, I too have been very frugal with money and like you, it stemmed from a lack of self worth. Lack of self worth has been the impetus for so many of my behaviours, like needing to be in a relationship, like not wanting to speak much and always providing opportunities for others to speak, like complimenting others and putting myself down. The flip side is that so many areas of my life have been addressed by working on my self worth.

  463. Goodness love hearing about when you were growing up .. it is so different for our current younger generation. I would love to hear more … more writing please. Also what I really loved here was how you have finally come to see abundance as truly being with you and taking care of you … abundance in self-love and self-care .. something we all can do and it costs nothing ❤️

  466. N.P. I can relate to this; ‘not even considering there should be some time devoted to my self-nurturing. Every moment was filled with chores and projects’, I can get caught up in the busyness of life and not allowing time for self nurturing, its great to read this and be reminded of the importance of nurture and care and putting myself first not last.

  467. I like how you have turned things upside down here – frugality is generally seen as a good thing, an efficiency and a resourceful way to live and I can see how elements of this still creep into my life too, but I can definitely see after reading this blog how it actually cheats us out of living with abundance and reduces our joy and our love of life to something more functional and less universally divine.

  468. What you’ve expressed here about how frugality changed form but was essentially the same reminds me how easy it is to think that we’ve healed something, but actually haven’t because the same pattern is still playing out, just in a different format. Choosing to stay more aware and be honest to see and nominate all areas that this pattern is playing out, helps us to let these old patterns go, without the self judgment or criticism.

  469. Here you have exposed frugality and your relationship with it. And not only exposed but expanded it and then shared it for all which means we all have an opportunity to learn from your wisdom and reflect on our own relationship with frugality.

    What struck me is that we have so many ‘relationships with words and stuff’ tucked away inside of us that rarely come out for an airing. It is very inspiring to read how you took out your relationship with frugal, examined it, washed it, dried it and aired it out and then decided that you did not want it any more.

    Letting go of old beliefs/patterns clears out space to live more of what is you.

  470. My father was very frugal, I always put this down to him being alive during the war and the effect that that must have had. However, I too can feel how I also have been frugal in my life, what I’m feeling is that it stops us from appreciating all that we have in each moment, there is a reservedness, a holding which keeps us small and less than we are. Understanding that this way of living is more to do with our connection with and appreciation of ourselves is very liberating and healing.

  471. Like everything, it all comes down to balance and feeling: feeling when to save, when to spend more, for example. Discerning how we spend our money, time and energy is a loving work in progress, and one that pays great dividends – because spending our time, money and energy on things that truly serve and support our health and wellbeing, tends to support everyone else too, through the ripple effect: when we’re feeling good about ourselves that has an effect on others, too.

  472. What a beautiful blog, NP, thank you. I love how you show that the way we live isn’t as much about what we have or how much we have, but the quality in which we hold ourselves and bring to everything that we do.

  473. Wonderful article. I can so relate to cutting myself short of the abundance there is in life. I’d never really considered this in full but this article is asking me where have I short-changed myself and I’d say in most moments I don’t surrender to all that is being offered. It’s in me rushing to get home in my car and not checking in all the way home so I’m not bringing that running away from the day into my life and then trying to sleep with that energy still running my body or using coping mechanisms to ignore it when at home – TV, going to bed late, food. Why not accept and allow the abundance of the universe into my life?!

    1. Great question – why do we say no to the abundance that life is constantly offering us?! Do we think that we don’t deserve it, or are just so un-use to it that it feels odd to accept it? The more we say yes to abundance the more it feels and becomes our new normal, part of our everyday foundation.

  474. It’s great to lift the lid on frugality and give it a bit of the old scrutiny, I grew up being taught to be very frugal with so many things but if I try and pass on any of my frugalness to my daughter she looks at me as though I have two heads. I never would have looked at holding back love or tenderness or holding back giving hugs and cuddles. I shall never look at frugality in the same light again.

  475. What a lovely phrase, looking into the nooks and crannies at what has influenced your life. I have had a few days with the flu so have been resting and had some space to contemplate my upbringing and I can certainly relate to your frugality with yourself with time, tenderness and expression. As times have changed and we are developing and expanding, the abundance blossoms, it is great to join you in claiming all of us.

  476. Yes a life of frugality can leave us feeling very unnourished because life is not just about the cheapest and quickest way of doing things but it is about the quality we do things in that matters. Like I am learning that time to cuddle and hug is definitely needed for my whole well-being even though my mind does not value it the same as work being done etc. I can feel in my body it is.

    1. This is a beautiful example Lieke, we measure things by efficiency and time, but in truth it is never about calculating the best outcome but to allow ourselves to go step by step to the rhythm of our body.

    2. Great point here that we think that frugality is saving us something whether it be time or money etc but actually it is taking away far more than it is saving.

    3. I grew up around frugality, it was woven into upbringing and I could see where it stemmed from. I can also appreciate how much more supportive and loving it is to choose quality and not to just opt for the cheapest or quickest options. When we make life about quality, everything changes and we get to feel and live the abundance and grandness we are all gifted with.

  477. I can remember being frugal with money when I was growing up, holding onto my savings as if they were my life blood and fretting whenever I felt to spend any of it. The beauty of money comes from allowing it in and out. The more we restrict its out flow the more we also tighten its in flow. Its very similar to our own relationship with letting love in and out as love is never a one way street.

  478. Living life from a frugal point of view (as in the negative sense of the word) is really a killer. You cannot really see richness anywhere. Discovering the richness of life changes everything. When you discover them, you realise that there is nothing like bathing in it and that there is plenty to do so.

  479. “Frugality had permeated my way of life, and it was partnering up with my then undetected lack of self-worth…” This is a revelation to see how being frugal has ‘morphed’ into a consciousness of lack of self worth… What a healing to recognise this link between the two!

  480. Thank you NP for this blog. I agree that the worst type of frugality is holding back the love that we are.

  481. What I can feel is how it comes back to us being with ourselves and in what quality. There is much richness in intimacy, and I am working on building that with myself, too.

  482. Thanks NP for sharing your wisdom here. It’s great how you haven’t thrown frugality out the window entirely so to speak but are showing us the importance of the kind of energy behind it – is it truly coming from a connection or is it a belief and with that a way of dismissing what we are sensing is needed from our body…

  483. Frugality, a new word for me in English, but not in the way of how I have lived my life. Your blog made me realize that this feeling, that later transferred into certain behaviors, was there when I was born. And although we were never really poor, the feeling we had to be careful with money was always there. In my adult life there have been periods where I have reacted to this by overspending, and not wanting to care about the details, thinking I was being abundant. But abundance is not how much money I spent, have or receive, it the volume of love that I let out and are willing to receive.

  484. This is an interesting take on frugality – as I would associate it with money and nothing else but the sharing here has allowed me to consider the vast ways in which we can be frugal. And I can certainly relate to
    a few of these. What a fresh perspective this provides broadening the meaning and supporting me to see where I sacrifice on quality.

  485. I agree with you NP turn that frugality and motion into the abundance of appreciation and confirmation and you’re complete.

  486. As I am beginning to live my life diffferently, I am beginning to notice that abundance is not about having more than you need, but to be very settled and accepting that all that you need is provided for. Yes, I participate fully in my life, but it no longer has the drive to get more, because I no longer have the feeling that I am not enough. More and more I live not just ‘enough’, but deeply appreciative of who I am and the blessing that is in my life and the lives of others.

  487. It is very interesting how frugality seeps into our life in many ways, and how it affects our thinking. I can remember feeling so terribly guilty if I spent money on myself. For example going to a movie, or buying clothes. As a mother, the ingrained lived belief I had was that my children’s and husbands needs came before my own. This feeling of guilt plagued me for years in so many different ways, not just with money, but also with time and doing things that I wanted to do.

  488. What a wonderful walk through short changing yourself – I totally relate and love the light you have bought to this in more ways than one.

  489. Having it all is not what we have ben told it is. Having it all is about expressing all the love we are. This love then flows back through every aspect of the way we care for ourselves. I’m very inspired by you and what you have shared NP.

  490. Its the “to do list” all over. Thinking that if we are good at everything and “fearcely Independent” then nothing will touch the sides. It’s keeping life at a functional level without the heart. But none of that is true. Being ourselves in all that we do, is all that is needed.

  491. ‘Frugality and abundance working together!’ The term ‘frugality’ as I know it is incredibly pejorative and comes loaded with the idea of tightness and meanness and yet sometimes it is prudent to be frugal. I really like the idea of attributing planning ahead so that what you need is there, no more nor less than what is needed in the moment to its definition, as it takes the sting out of the word!

  492. NP your article is very relatable especially your comment on time, tenderness and expression.

  493. I love this new take on frugality, and the questioning of are we frugal with our time. How we choose to spend our time and the quality we choose to spend our time in makes a significant difference in our lives, in fact you could say it defines our whole life. The thing about making our time and what we do about quality is that everything we do is truly enjoyable – even the jobs like putting the bin out, or cleaning the floor – because it actually feels amazing to put a great amount of care into something.

  494. ‘Make do and meand’ there is so much to appreciate about frugality which when used with abundance is wise and self loving. Meanding an expensive item of clothing when you don’t have the money to buy new, or using the bones from a left over roast to make a stock are wise choices and there are many learnings that came from the post war era which I am very thankful for, it is the way we use frugality and whether we are valuing ourselves in the process that is so important.

  495. As I read this I realised that I carry the belief that I keep needing to do more. I am self employed and I absolutely love what I do and my intention is to grow my business, the question you have raised for me is whether I am growing it with the abundance of me, i.e. Am I truly caring for myself in the way that is going to be a support to me or is there a struggle lingering of needing to work harder and do more and I can feel the latter is true. I feel to ask myself what is it that I need to do that will truly support the work I am doing and have I put those things in place. If I approach my work from a place of rushing, doing and exhaustion then the quality of my work simply won’t be there. Thank you for this great reflection, I love the wisdom you share.

  496. “No more ‘that will do’ when I feel to do something differently” – This can certainly change a lot. It’s quite astounding how many times in our day we ‘settle’ for a lesser quality or things being incomplete, and how this can snowball into feeling overwhelmed that life is just not how we’d like it to be. We can make choices that are loving, responsible and raise the standard of each conversation we have and the world actually responds very differently.

    1. That settling for less when all that is available can be chosen always leaves a niggle with me that I feel and know how what I chose wasn’t supportive; or I can ignore it. But ignoring it requires me to numb out in some way which is again choosing less and then this also needs to be ignored and a downward spiral is created. I’m so much wiser when I am honest and feel how choosing less doesn’t feel good and look at what happening for me to choose less.

  497. NP your life sounds amazing whether frugal or not. I love your ability to do everything from scratch and your passion for life. Adding abundance to the mix will purely serve to deepen your existing amazingness!

    1. Thank you Rebecca! You have helped me to see that I can lift my level of appreciation and not take for granted my passion for life.

  498. I have really enjoyed observing and adapting my relationship with money over the years. And have noticed some of the weirdest things; I will see the purpose and support in spending the extra money on a piece of clothing or some good quality food, but then I get irritated by the fridge door being left open and wasting some pennies! Or I will spend big money on a car but then worry about putting the heating on for a few extra hours! It’s been very revealing and whereby I used to see money as just a necessary for life, I now see it as a brilliant barometer and reflector of where I am in life, my flow and where it is supporting or draining me.

    1. This is still very much a work in progress for me, and I appreciate your beautiful reflections here Otto.

      1. I feel like it’s so important that we bring this subject out of the shadows because it is very supportive to be transparent, and we hold ourselves and our movements to hostage through the untrue flow of money; whether that be spending too much or too little or whether we be financially wealthy or not; each individual’s parameters are irrelevant – what is the key is to be open to what is being offered.

  499. I like your sign off “..with great wisdom to share…” That to me is the key to the frugality/abundance equation. Wisdom will show us where it is foolish to waste money and where it is deeply blessing to ‘spoil’ ourselves. And the balance of this is the responsible flow of our money.

  500. I love that this topic has been written about. I grew up in a very frugal household and was made to feel guilty for being able to choose quality items compared to the cheap version. I definitely feel that frugality seeps into all aspects of life and is strongly related to self-worth.

  501. Frugality is one of those ‘good’ things and being evermore frugal is even ‘better’. But they don’t reflect our inner beauty and fullness; there is no joy in frugality, just satisfaction through gritted teeth.

  502. Great to expose the many way frugality’becomes a way of being that impedes us from living life fully and joyfully.

  503. Dear NP a beautiful sharing. Curious to see how early life’s conditioning and needs can permate a whole life, unitl we’re shown another way. I love that you’re now appreciating abundance in your life and cherishing the space you have to thoroughly nurture yourself.

  504. A deeply powerful understanding of the face of frugality and the effects it has on us with the underlying message of lack of self worth and lack of abundance we allow in our lives and seeing the polar opposite to the true love and abundance we are innately from and the simplicity and honouring of that . Very revealing to ponder on and very lovely to feel and allow the abundance we are magnify and be confirmed on a daily basis with the reflection and inspiration of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine also.

    1. How beautifully written Tricia ‘very lovely to feel and allow the abundance we are magnify and be confirmed on a daily basis’.

  506. I too recognize the frugality you mention. Thrift was the name of the game – nothing wasted – from brown paper to bits of string and certainly no food thrown away. Frugality with my time also – as you mention – speeding from one task to the next. Coming to Universal Medicine – it has taken a wee while for me to let go of the necessity to rush. Enjoying each moment, whether it be preparing food or applying cream to my body – thus being more present – allows more stillness into my life.

  507. Beautiful NP, frugality can pop up in many moments during the day if we are not careful from getting the kids ready for school – am I being support loving and tender with myself in the process or am I hurrying them to get along in case they miss the bus to wanting to get the best deal when purchasing something. Frugality can take over placing our focus on money and what is going on around us instead of listening and responding to what is going on within us. Abundance in life is not about how much money we have in the bank but about the vitality and love lived which in truth no amount of money can buy as it is the true love lived in appreciation and confirmation of the love we are that truly makes a difference in the world.

    1. ‘Abundance in life is not about how much money we have in the bank but about the vitality and love lived’. Such a beautiful way of putting it. Thanks, Caroline.

  508. The example of hurrying with the washing is one that comes back to me time and time again – I love things to be folded neatly and when things are grabbed off the line and bundled in a basket, they end up crumpled and creased. There is no need to rush – unless it is raining – and taking time to fold everything neatly means they have an imprint of care that flows throughout the house.

  509. What I gather from this is that we can be appropriately frugal with material things in our life that genuinely benefit everyone, but don’t be frugal with the time we spend connecting to one another and our selves. Time taken to cuddle babies to sleep, put lotion and oils on our bodies, connect with our loved ones and partners is time very well spent indeed.

  510. The abundance; the true grandness of life returns when we make no apology for who we are.

  511. Thank you NP. It is very interesting the way that frugality seems so caught up with time and the pressures of time.

  512. “Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon, who bring everything back to love.” Abundance knows no bounds when we live the love we are.

  513. I love how this article unfolds around just one word and then in the end pairing it with another. A word is not just a word it comes with a lot of impact or space or both, fencing us in or giving room for expansion.

  514. NP what an absolutely awesome post, I really enjoyed reading this and appreciated how you share that when it comes to frugality the less we love the more controlling aka frugal we are with what we do, how we are… and that the more we love the more abundance of flexibility we live with.

  515. Super gorgeous blog – so interesting how something that is an almost positive attribute (I think of the phrase ‘being careful with money’ or the clinical efficiency in getting lots done without the feeling behind it) gets in behind so much more than we imagine and permeates our lives in the way we use time, tenderness and expression. So super powerful to lift the lid on this one NP… this has been a great pause for reflection.

  516. Amazing blog NP, shedding light on something that is considered “good” by many and what the underlying partnerships with that are.

  517. Wow… NP you have really brought the hidden face of frugality out into the light of day, I had only ever related it to matters financial, but now since reading your revelatory blog you have given me much to ponder on, and uncover the hidden areas of frugality within my way of Living.

  518. “Where does frugality come from?” Could it be that we are making it up along the way so we do not have-to-reconnect to our essence or sacredness.
    “This way of living life is the polar opposite of how it can be and as I unpick each layer built up to cover my true essence, I look” at words and there true meaning from there roots.
    When we look up the roots of “frugality” from the Latin meaning diligence attentiveness, economy, industry, honesty, diligent and care-full, so make up your own version if you will or be honest and feel the truth of everything we read or hear!

  519. Thank you for expanding my understanding of frugality and how it impacts the way I care for myself and how frugal I am in sharing my true self with others.

  520. And just sitting with this blog a while I can feel the perverseness of frugality where we pride ourselves on saving money or saving time – when in fact we have done ourselves no favours in truth if we come to ask the body ‘How was that for you?’

    1. Yes Rosanna, precisely, how our spirit fools us into thinking this is a move forward but can actually be quite harmful for us.

  521. A very real ‘fleshing out’ of Frugality and its link to self-worth. This as poignant “to not short cut my own needs”, I loved this read and the aspect it brings.

  523. When we look at frugality like this we see how much it is not just about money but about time, space and energy. I can see how I skimp on this too and would have greater love for myself, a greater sense of self worth if I were to give myself more and live in a more fertile and abundant way,

  524. Having been one to air on the side of frugality myself for the majority of my life, I now feel strongly that when you look at everything in Nature and in the rest of the Universe (think trillions of stars inside thousands of galaxies inside only a small corner of the night sky as viewed by a telescope) the level of abundance is astounding, and only when we have looked at ourselves as being ‘less’ or ‘not enough’ do we adopt this stance of frugality as if we don’t deserve any more.

    1. Yes, Michael, it feels like the abundance of beauty in Nature and in the rest of the Universe is there on such a grand scale to inspire us to see, we too are also of this grandness. If, and when we choose to accept this, frugality in any shape or form will be seen for what it truly is – a means to make us feel less worthy and therefore unimportant in the grand scheme of things.

  525. ‘Frugality had permeated my way of life, and it was partnering up with my then undetected lack of self-worth, to become something different’ Totally N.P. True economy, whether it pertain to finance or to energy ‘spent’ is a deeply beautiful thing and involves such precious qualities as integrity, precision, simplicity and awesomeness, but when coupled with a lack of self -worth and/or value it becomes a sticky, murky response to life, clogging up the harmonious pipes of abundance.

  526. To understand that being frugal is linked to a lack of worth brings clarity to a way of living that we can get caught by, and as you say can permeate through every angle of our life and expression.

    1. well said Rachel, it is a denying of ourselves to ourselves that translates to a way of life in which we deny ourselves things on many levels and in many different ways. We could dress each one of them separately or we could go straight to the root and learn to accept the glory and divinity that we are.

      1. ‘We could go straight to the root and learn to accept the glory and divinity that we are.’ Your words have gone to the core of what humanity on the whole is struggling with, Carolien.

  527. Too often we think of frugality or abundance as relative to objects. We have or have not or so we believe. But the truth doesn’t sit on this linear line. We have majesty and grandness, connection to all that is. All we have to do is live a life in line with this. Thank you NP.

    1. Beautifully said, Joseph. ‘We have majesty and grandness, connection to all that is.’ It’s our choice to live and express this in abundance or not.

  528. Thank you NP – what a timely and inspiring blog! I am an elder of the same period you write of and have also been exploring this whole frugality scenario at a deeper level recently. There is much I can relate to in your writing and it has exposed some other areas I have been reticent to visit……until now!.

    1. What is shared here is such a reminder of how the frugality can be passed on from generation to generation as the taught behaviours of our parents ‘thinking’ this was the best way to raise children.

      1. How true Natalliya – I sometimes catch myself saying to our Grandchildren old sayings learnt from my Grandmother, for example ‘money does not grow on trees’.

  529. I love this blog NP. It is great what you have revealed here. We had exactly this conversation in our household last night – and yes it is certainly the quality that counts. Some left-overs are beautiful to eat, some even better the day after, yet others decline overnight in the fridge and these do not need to be ‘eaten up’ just because they are there – there is a consciousness of frugality still operating within us. Such a consciousness can bolster up (or can be a part of) a lack of self-worth or self-value.

  530. What a beautiful blog — gosh we really do live upside down and back to front to how we truly are. We have normalised what I can only describe as an existence, not at all living, and further to that we have championed and celebrated that. Before I met Serge Benhayon I too grew up with the life that you described and was told and thought that that was a very good way to live, that it is humble, self-less and making the most of what you’ve got. I thought that that was being grateful for your lot in life. However never really making ends meet, never really getting to appreciate how precious life is and precious we are and all others are in that.

    1. beautiful sharing Terri-Anne and it reminds me of how we can feel that there is a limit to how much we can have or deserve, and that we should be grateful for what we have. Not that we should not be grateful for what we have but at the same time to be open to the abundance that is there for us to connect to and live in our lives.

  531. It’s really interesting what we choose to have in abundance in our lives, what we are frugal with and the things that we have a more expressive and joyful relationship with. Money is a great example of this, and looking at whether we hold onto money, spend it all in one go or enjoy spending it on things we love is a great marker of how we feel towards life and what we’re putting our energy into.

    1. ‘Money is a great example of this, and looking at whether we hold onto money, spend it all in one go or enjoy spending it on things we love is a great marker of how we feel towards life and what we’re putting our energy into.’ Love what you share here, Susie, regarding our relationship with money and how revealing that can be.

  532. When we slow down and start to appreciate everything we do, Time is never an issue any more, there is just space to do what is needed.

    1. This is so true Steve, through deeply appreciating all our choices we create space for us to flow in harmony with the universe.

  533. Very beautiful NP, thank you. I can very much understand the false frugality at play here because I too have short changed myself in many of the ways you describe. What a joy to meet Universal Medicine and to begin to unravel the false ideals that we use to deny our selves our immense love and restore a true relationship with our selves, with abundance and appropriate frugality.

  534. ” Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon, who bring everything back to love. I have been re-introduced to true abundance and am still grasping how to live that every day. ”
    Its quite funny when one thinks about it , we are full of abundance.

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