Love usually comes with conditions, expectations and images of how we want another to be. We say to someone we love them, we care for them, want to be with them, all the while what is expressed comes loaded with conditions of how we want them to be. If they are how we want them to be then we say we love them, although it is not a love that is unconditional. It is conditional. We have a level of judgement that comes with the love we are prepared to show, share and give to another.
Category: RELATIONSHIPS
Letting Go of the Need to be Perfect
A few years ago I was speaking to an older woman about art. She shared with me, “I would have loved to be creative without having to be perfect.” This made me stop in my tracks.
We continued the conversation about her experience of art classes at school; not being able to draw the perfect straight line like the teachers or other kids, or getting into trouble for not getting it right etc. She had held onto this in her body and it affected her to this day.
Many of us have had experiences like this; it may not have been in the art classroom, as perfection, hurt and comparison can play out in many areas of our life. Continue reading “Letting Go of the Need to be Perfect”
Relationship Advice
For all the relationship advice I have received over the years, I can safely say that little of it served me well; if anything it contributed only to the fact that I stayed in relationships that I really ought to have ended long before I did. In fact some of them I never should have started!
I do recall my mother’s not-so-sage advice when I was embarking on my first serious relationship where she said, “try living with three different men before you decide to marry as you don’t really know someone until you live with them!” Even when she told me that something in me thought, “But what if I decide it should have been the first or second one and l’ve already moved on!” Continue reading “Relationship Advice”
To Change My Name or Not – That is the Question
Over the past 16 months I have lived through a separation and divorce from my husband of almost 28 years. The first thing that I want to say is that I dearly love the man I was married to, however we both wanted to live life in very different ways. We both realised that we could not continue to live together as the tension and pain of each other’s ‘wanting the other to be different’ was constant and causing us both much heartache.
So we decided to separate and then divorce when we were able to. The process of this was done with deep respect, and at times, with a deep love of each other as we organised and moved through this challenging time. Continue reading “To Change My Name or Not – That is the Question”
Learning to not React to Feedback on our Work – the Power of Observing, not Absorbing
Have you ever found yourself feeling frustrated, criticised and possibly insulted or offended when receiving feedback on your work from a colleague or supervisor that is not what you expected – particularly feedback that is, or seems to be, somewhat critical?
Have you noticed that when receiving this type of feedback in written form, such as via email, your reaction can be immediate and even stronger than if sitting down with the person? It’s like there is no filter on your reaction and you can fume away in silence, or go into a spin about your abilities, often letting the emotions build although they may never be expressed. Continue reading “Learning to not React to Feedback on our Work – the Power of Observing, not Absorbing”
Being in the Media Industry – Just Being Myself is Enough
Being ourselves is often not encouraged in our present day world and the concept of expressing what “I feel” is extremely unwelcome in the part of the world that I live in. In fact it is so discouraged that, at times, those who try to be themselves feel the force of being ostracised and not accepted in the system.
I work in the media industry, and in our industry I feel this every day. You may question how this could be, as isn’t there the freedom of speech? Yes, of course everyone can speak and express, but most of these expressions actually come from the same energy – an energy that speaks of fitting into what is expected of us, to play safe and to not rock the boat by speaking truth. Continue reading “Being in the Media Industry – Just Being Myself is Enough”
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 