Having just read a great blog on anxiousness, I was struck by what the writer (Carmin Hall) was saying – that you can’t just block out one feeling and expect to feel others: it’s like saying you don’t want to see the colour green but you do want to see all those other colours you like, which of course wouldn’t work as the only real way to avoid seeing green would be to operate in a monochrome world – so no green, but no blue or pink either.
It’s obvious, yet I’ve spent quite a bit of time berating myself for feeling frustrated or anxious, and wanting to feel those things I like, such as appreciation, love or warmth. I now understand these can’t exist without my fully accepting the other feelings exist too, and this has been shown to me in many ways.
I recently listened to The Way of The Livingness #26 delivered by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, and one of the things that jumped out at me was that everything passes through every body. So if someone does something, anywhere in the world, that feeling is available to all of us, and crucially, even those who have developed a greater consistency, understanding and awareness in how they live, also have these feelings available to them.
So none of us are different or special and each and every one of us has everything available to us – anger, anxiety, frustration, love, joy etc. – but how we live determines what we see or favour. For example, someone who has mastered a way of living where they have more love and joy in their lives is neither immune to anger, nor lacks access to it – they do – but how they live means they are less likely to give attention and focus to it.
For me feeling this has been huge as it’s highlighted that it’s all about choice, and that there needs to be a consistency in the choices I make. So if I live in a way that constantly berates myself and others, how can I grasp the possibility of being loving towards another, rather than angry, if I have not lived lovingly in my day to day life?
It’s a bit like having a ‘short fuse’ of a temper; it can be shorter if we’re tired, have been living under pressure or feeling over-whelmed, whereas if we’re living in a way which is taking care of ourselves, in whatever small steps they may be, we have more space and possibility to make more loving choices, rather than choosing anger, frustration or anxiety.
This has changed my perspective completely; it makes it more about an on-going consistency – a marathon rather than a sprint. And it also introduces humility; to know that those I deeply respect, admire and who greatly inspire me, such as modern day philosopher Serge Benhayon and his family, are no different from me and they have access to the same feelings or emotions as I do – frustration, anxiety, anger, love or joy – but how they live allows them to more clearly see the loving choice.
They are not special, but they choose to live in a way that is committed to ensuring that how they express and live is with absolute love and integrity, and I too have access to that at any time – I just need to commit to love, continually and deeply.
There is a responsibility here: the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving… I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility. It’s an on-going process, not one with any destination – love begets more love.
Having this understanding has inspired me to see that I am not any frustration or anxiety I feel. I can choose to be tender in how I am with me in any moment and so increasingly my choices are more loving for me and with others.
I would not be where I am today without the work I’ve done to address the anxiousness of how I’ve lived and the changes I’ve since made to be more gentle, tender and loving with me. Meeting Serge Benhayon and finding Universal Medicine and its many practitioners has inspired me to see and feel that no matter what I’ve felt, deep in me there is an essence, a purity if you will, a love that never leaves and is never tainted.
And it’s that solidity that allows me to address the feelings that come up when I get frustrated or anxious; less and less from a place of being wrong and more from an understanding that I am love and any moments where this has not been lived are to be addressed so I can be even more the love I am.
Words cannot adequately describe the appreciation I feel for Serge Benhayon, the Benhayon family and the various practitioners who’ve shown me that I am love by being love, absolutely always, no matter what is going on.
By Monica, UK
Further Reading:
Love
What Causes Anxiousness
Anxiety Unfolded
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
“love begets more love” It is a beautiful and simple cycle that the more we love and are open to love the more and the deeper the love we feel.
Appreciation for the reflection that I am love from those who are being love…I must say I haven’t had much appreciation for that reflection recently, but what it is showing me is that there is a deeper level of love being reflected to appreciate. And that it is possible, thank you.
Appreciation is one of those words that resonates so much with Truth as when we are True to our-selves the appreciation of who we are is felt by us and carries us to our next purpose-full point of evolution so appreciation then perpetuates itself between us have True Purpose in life.
“. . . someone who has mastered a way of living where they have more love and joy in their lives is neither immune to anger, nor lacks access to it – they do – but how they live means they are less likely to give attention and focus to it.” Is this not the best invitation to introduce more love in our lives. Imagine if more people would chose to live like this – perhaps our world would look a bit different.
Thank you Monica for this beautiful sharing. You have described so well the fact we are all vessels, that energy is passing through us and some of those energies are not at all who we truly are, like anger and frustration, and that we are love in essence, and we can keep adjusting and refining how we live to support that love to be more consistently felt and expressed. Understanding this takes out the judgement, of ourselves and of others.
We are here to more consistently feel and express love to all, ‘there is a responsibility here: the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving… I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility. It’s an on-going process, not one with any destination – love begets more love.’
This is a great blog to read and confirm that we make continuous choices all the time and these choices affect how we will interact and be with the world. For example the other day I had this feeling of overwhelm come into my body and I actually stopped in my tracks and wondered where on earth that feeling had come from. Then I realised I hadn’t felt overwhelmed in years that would explain why it felt so uncomfortable in my body. There was no reason to be in any kind of overwhelm so I said this is not me any more I don’t accept this feeling in my body as it feels quite alien. By making that choice the feeling left my body as it couldn’t be sustained in my body any more. This shows me the power of the presentations and workshops of Universal Medicine they do work and this was proof, if I needed it.
We make choices every second of everyday, and these all have a big impact on our lives, ‘how we live determines what we see or favour.’ A great nomination, and so letting go of what was not true.
I had a very real example of what you are sharing here yesterday when I found myself thinking things that were just not my way of thinking. It really shocked me at which point I just asked myself where those thoughts were coming from and where was I that space was allowed in my body for those thoughts to come through. The moment I did that the thoughts stopped. I have never experienced it so clearly before. It was my lack of consciously being present and aware that had given permission for all sorts of thoughts to come in. If I had indulged my thoughts who knows where it would have led me…well I can tell you it would not have been pleasant so I am pleased I caught them when I did.
I’ve had plenty of negative thoughts in the past and may have many more in the future. But what I understand about energy is that our thoughts which affect our feelings are fed to us by an energy that is either pranic or fire. Also, the truth is we do not own our thoughts, any of it, but it is the quality of energy which governs the quality of our thoughts and this is what we are able to choose consciously or subconsciously. This is a responsibility we all have and what we choose affects the rest of us.
Thank you for the amazing reminder that we do not need to identify with things that we feel – the are not who we are, but a temporary blip in a much bigger scheme of things.
The more loving and caring we are with ourselves in our daily lives the more steady our foundation to be able to make a more responsible choice of which type of energy we choose to live with and therefore express out into the world.
The more we chose to feel the love that is in and passing through us all the time the more love there is for others to also feel the love passing through them – beautiful.
Monica I agree with you when you say that the Benhayon family are not special but they chose to live in a way that is totally committed to ensuring that how they move what they express comes first and foremost from love. And that we all have the same access to this love we are just not choosing to allow it into our lives.
I have noticed that as soon as I react to something my body starts to go into anxiety mode, which then affects my ability to see things clearly and I then fall into making decisions based on that anxiety, yet when I don’t react and choose to stay with myself I am totally able to see clearly what is going on, and my body remains in its natural flow.
Yes, the anxiety is a great sign that we have reacted and the more familiar we get with the feeling of anxiety, and the more we start to get honest about why we felt anxious, the more we can build a way of living that does not have anxiety and reaction as our normal.
Consistency is key to building a loving and solid foundation, no perfection just a willingness to live each day making our choices loving and true.
Beautiful Anna, not many people in our world find living love easy or find it easy to make living love their consistent way because when I look around, abuse is what I see throughout our world. But if more and more people choose to live a solid foundation of love, then naturally this will inspire more people to live this too. Our world currently has more models of abuse than models of love. So, the message we are all receiving is that abuse is normal but as we know abuse is not normal at all.
When we attempt to suppress a feeling we do not like it only builds the intensity of that feeling. Consequently the same outcome occurs if one focuses on those we do desire and then there is not the space for the others.
Monica this is just what I needed to read this morning to take the time to appreciate the loving ways; I now love myself and to know that there is more and I eagerly look forward to deepening my self love because it has such a profound affect within my own body and everyone gets to feel and share it too. To get to a stage in life where anger or frustration doesn’t have a hold on me any more because I know that love is everything it is all consuming so that all there is love.
It is our commitment to love and to make life about this love all of the time !
I agree that it is true that to live with love and integrity means to actively choose this energy to be the source of your expression.
Living with anxiety is common for a lot of people so to have a blog like this is super helpful. When we use love as our measuring stick then no matter what arises within us we can deal with it.
Great point Elizabeth and I have found since embracing more love, life has become so much easier and like you’ve shared, I can handle anything when my foundation is based on love.
I was taking part in a recorded Universal Medicine Yoga course and for the first time got to feel my essence and that it had not been sullied at all it was pure and pristine, I got to feel how it can never be tainted. This was a huge revelation for me because for life times I have falsely labored under the belief that somehow I was defiled by another energy and this belief has kept me imprisoned in a misconception. I had fallen for the illusion that this other energy was more powerful than me. I now am starting to understand That I chose to give my power away which then allowed this energy to come into my body and like a parasite it took over.
‘ I am love by being love, absolutely always, no matter what is going on.” This an awesome statement. I can feel the truth of this supporting me in those times when I am tempted to react or say or do something I might regret. A gorgeous reminder for all of us.
Yes and it is not to deny the feelings we feel when we do want to react because those feelings give us an indication of a hurt that has been triggered. If we can understand the hurt then we find we don’t need to work at not reacting, instead there is a greater understanding of what could have been a trigger for us to react and why.
“So if someone does something, anywhere in the world, that feeling is available to all of us,” This is a huge revelation because it means that every time that we are more loving with ourselves we ground that energy on earth . This is true responsibility.
How we live is the key that not only unlocks a door, but also keep other ones locked.
This consistency to choose love – I get that, and what I can feel is how that challenges our perception of time in which we seek an ending point where we can rest and withdraw from our responsibility, and anxiety and overwhelm are likely accompaniment. And a question I feel I need to ask is – can I truly surrender to this very moment and choose nothing but love.
The solidity of the foundation you build is what holds you when things go pear shaped, when you have unexpected events or feel angry about something or someone. The foundation feels consistent and if the practice has been to observe and clock what your body feels, then there will be space to observe the more challenging aspect that is presenting before the wave of emotions take over.
It is such a good point, that we pick and choose what we want to feel and not feel, yet our body feels everything and we either clock it or not clock it. When we have everything available to us, it means we all have the potential to be the change we want to see in our lives.
‘There is a responsibility here: the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving’. So true Monica, and responsibility doesn’t have to feel hard or boring, it’s actually quite simple and joyful.
Honesty and humbleness are both essential ingredients to learn to deal with the intensity and overwhelm of human life that drives our anxiousness.
Yes anxiousness is not just something that overcomes us and we are the victim to, it comes into our body through our choices and so we can also make choices to not be as anxious eventhough it can seem hard, with a consistent choice to come back to ourselves it is possible.
‘no matter what I’ve felt, deep in me there is an essence, a purity if you will, a love that never leaves and is never tainted.’
And it’s that solidity that allows me to address the feelings that come up when I get frustrated or anxious; less and less from a place of being wrong and more from an understanding that I am love and any moments where this has not been lived are to be addressed so I can be even more the love I am’ When we connect to the truth of this we connect to universal medicine.
Monica, I love this line, ‘I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility. It’s an on-going process, not one with any destination – love begets more love.’ Such a beautiful reminder. Thank you.
‘This has changed my perspective completely; it makes it more about an on-going consistency – a marathon rather than a sprint’. This is a great way to explain it. When you have this perspective you allow more space for yourself which brings in more understanding and love. Knowing that there is no end point to achieve only a consistent quality.
The more we feel the love that we are and is the true essence of all of us, the more the love grows.
Absolutely Mary, it’s the same as watering a plant and watching it grow, such simplicity.
What you have shared Monica is very equalising, there are no saviours or special ones, just people equally able to access the same range of energies whether it is love or anger, etc. There is a simplicity too in the foundation for what we choose being in how we live, that is very practical and available to everyone and involves no special practices such as asceticism, celibacy, or removal from society.
What a huge shift it is to know that we are not our behaviours and that it is an energy we align to. This has been a fundamental teaching by Universal Medicine that has opened up my eyes and my awareness to what is behind behaviours and where they come from.
It’s a great point that feeling and having awareness is a blanket rule. You get it all – the ‘nice bits’ you want to see and the not so nice bits you would rather not. Like turning down the volume, suppressing or rejecting some feelings means you don’t get to feel everything else. I am learning that we need to see and feel it all and develop an equal relationship with everything, so we can observe and understand life.
Every moment we have a choice, even being numbed out is a choice, as it is to be more loving in our choices.
“There is a responsibility here: the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving… I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility”.
The fact that we may want to filter something out is simply a sign that we have felt it. We feel everything, but we choose what we would like to feel out of what we feel.
Monica thank you, the whole read for me brought me to stillness within and felt like a healing. I noted your appreciation of Serge and family at the end of the blog, that is how they are for me too, continually and absolutely reflecting the fact that I (and we all) are love. No matter what goes on in my day I have that same unshakable knowing inside me, not as a concept but as a true experience I have now connected to inside myself that I am in my essence pure, untainted love.
Just imagine if people actually knew that they had a choice… People have ended up feeling so powerless and yet this is what can truly inspire people to change their lives… That they do have a choice… Know yourself, know you have a choice
This is a beautiful blog Monica. Serge Benhayon, the practitioners of Universal Medicine and the student body also continue to inspire me to return to the knowing of this purity of essence that is within all equally so..
“Meeting Serge Benhayon and finding Universal Medicine and its many practitioners has inspired me to see and feel that no matter what I’ve felt, deep in me there is an essence, a purity if you will, a love that never leaves and is never tainted”.
Re-reading this I resonate with the fact that the more responsibility I take for my choices, the more acutely aware I become of any unloving choices because they begin to feel so disharmonious with how I’ve been living.
You nail it, Monica when you clarify that living with less anxiety and tension comes when we start to notice and make more loving choices, taking real care of ourselves and respecting the body we’re in, no matter how small the steps. Because those very small steps are the gateway to creating more space, more awareness of the stillness loving choices bring. We’re then more inclined to choose further loving choices and over time bank sufficient of them to build a new foundation on which to live and through which to interact with a world that is often anything but loving.
A marathon not a sprint – yep, this is not a quick fix, this is a relationship with our bodies so we lay a foundation of quality that feeds us back over and over, forever deepening the relationship we have with time, space and all that is around us.
You are so correct, Monica, we have access to all the emotions and it is our responsibility as to how we live with consistency as to which ones are our expression. Learning this through the lived example of the Benhayon family and Universal Medicine practitioners has been transformational.
Thank you Monica for this inspiring blog. It is true – as we accept and appreciate we are love in essence, we can choose to live expressing from love rather than emotions like frustration or anger. An ongoing learning to take responsibility for our choices and the quality we bring to our daily lives.
The way we move will either open the body up to emotions, leaving us at the mercy of their turbulent ride, or open our body to the fiery love of the Soul. So it makes sense then that we ensure to the best of our ability, that each movement we make comes from a choice as to which stream of energy we are going to align too – the one where emotions rule or the one where we are impulsed by love to express more and more of ourselves with each movement building on the last.
Beautifully expressed Lucy as it is how we move that determines which energy will govern the way we live.
I’m finding that it’s through deepening my awareness of the quality of my everyday choices that I begin to recognise the feelings I’m choosing to live or to play out moment by moment. When I make more loving choices, more consistently, I begin to build a marker for myself so that I then recognise what I’m allowing when it’s not loving.
This breaks the mould on how we think things happen and what we choose next when something does happen. So no matter what the heading or the situation you have before you see it as a point to feel and bring more too in place of reacting or turning away or just getting on with life as this point is a point that is in everything and not just in the place it is coming up loudest. I have heard this before in many ways but today reading this it makes more sense and it’s like I have a deeper respect or awareness of how it plays out. It’s easy to get caught in dynamics of how things play out and not address the underlying feelings which if seen would bring a stop to the dynamics, you can see how things go around and around.
I can deeply relate to this article. Anxiousness was not just a feelIng in my life, it was my way of life. It dictated how my days transpired and how I lived in them, forever on tenterhooks and worried something was going to happen. I now no longer am run by anxiousness, I do still feel it, but the more awareness that I have now is steadily revealing what is behind any anxiety I feel. And always it is vey simply related to my thoughts going ahead of me or wandering back to past experiences. Anxiety is an energy that can be chosen, or understood and seen for the delaying tactic it is, what are we delaying? Our responsibility to ourselves and once this is understood in full, the responsibility we have to all others. This is our birth right.
It’s great to be reminded that everything in this world is running through our bodies at every moment, it is simply our choices that decide the impact this makes. This fact alone just squashes the whole victim story I can run at times, as we are all equally experiencing all the joy and the pain of the universe, it is up to us what we do with it.
This is well said and the question would remain as to why we don’t take this knowing that is so clear from paper or screen to life, to how we live in each moment. What is said in this comment alone could change so so much for all of us and even though many are aware of it we are appearing to make a choice to ignore this in how we live. What is it that we are making so important to distract ourselves away from this unchangeable fact as we can only distract ourselves from the knowing “that everything in this world is running through our bodies at every moment, it is simply our choices that decide the impact this makes.” Which then seems crazy because it’s happening anyway, all of the time it’s just that we decide or choose to turn away from it in the belief that because we aren’t choosing to see it that it’s not happening. But that is all it is a ‘belief’, it’s not real or true just a belief that is more of a momentum for us to choose at that point then to feel.
This feels very supportive right now. The more I listen the more it makes sense to accept what I am feeling whatever that may be.
Bringing in more awareness, responsibility and love seems a very wise decision, ‘There is a responsibility here: the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving…’.
There’s a release from the belief that someone is special just because they are consistently making different, more loving choices than we are, in what you share Monica. That every emotion is constantly available to every last one of us highlights, uncomfortably so, that when we feel emotional and feel life is unfair, wrong etc.. we are making an absolutely irresponsible choice to keep ourselves incarcerated in a loveless life.
Absolutely Monica, we are all returning to be the love we innately are, ‘an understanding that I am love and any moments where this has not been lived are to be addressed so I can be even more the love I am.’
‘I am love and any moments where this has not been lived are to be addressed so I can be even more the love I am.’ This is choosing the evolving way of life and it is called The Way of the Livingness.
We align to one of two available energy sources to choose from and the rest follows. Free will occurs solely at that instant of alignment, one way or the other. The rest is a given until we re-align if we so choose.
I have been in the illusion of wanting and expecting things in my life to be different without making any consistent committed changes. The way I have recently brought about change is by replacing old unloving choices with new ones, one step at a time, and what you say here confirms this – ‘For example, someone who has mastered a way of living where they have more love and joy in their lives is neither immune to anger, nor lacks access to it – they do – but how they live means they are less likely to give attention and focus to it.’
As you write, “love begets love” and we build a momentum that continually confirms who we truly are and how life can be truth-fully lived. We build a momentum of loving choices, strengthen our alignment and affirm Will.
It’s the consistency of our choices that build the foundation for a much truer way to be and live. And that reflection inspires others and reminds them of what is available, to all equally so.
We feel EVERYTHING – the question is how much we choose to be aware of what feel and how much we REACT to it. Feeling is never the issue it is our reactions that can be troublesome or at least point to hurts we need to heal.
In fact emotions such as anger are not so much feelings but reactions to something we have felt.
The way this article brings forward the ability we all have to choose how much we go into our emotions, or if we simply feel them, acknowledge them and return to our joy, is a way of living that few have been shown or understand. But is the way of living we can all choose.
Consistently committing to being love in all my choices supports me to not give attention to opportunities for indulging in anxiousness, frustration or resentment and this has transformed my life. I am not perfect and can regress but always in the knowing that this is a choice and my responsibility is to acknowledge this and move on without beating myself up.
A beautiful sharing on being responsible for your choices in life and the effect that it has on you and others. The integrity of one choices are always palpable and that effect will be carried in one”s body there after. Therefore our body is our marker of truth. What do we put into our bodies ? And so, what do we feel and how do we feel at the end of the day? Have we picked up things that do no belong in our body or that have made our body heavy /letharic for example? This is great to become aware of so that we can make a change.
Thank-you Monica, for what you have shared here is so deeply foundational. It is not a matter of having it ‘all sorted’ (regarding our reactions, frustrations, emotions and the rest…), but rather the way in which we foundationally address, commune and respond to that which presents to us in life – warts, grandness and all – ALL felt, acknowledged, addressed and appreciated if not actively fostered in the case of the grandness of our love, together.
I love the colour analogy which describes very clearly how we usually relate with our feelings. For me it has been very liberating not to avoid any emotions, because by doing so, I am able to take distance from them. This allows me to know how they feel in my body and choose how I want to consistently be. I’ve realised that the only feeling in which I can feel the true me above any emotion is love, and this is the marker where I can come back whenever I lose my center.
Knowing that we are love first and foremost is the foundation upon which we build our next movement. From this space we know what is not from this love, is not us at all.
‘The more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving’. Such a great point you highlight here Monica, no wonder some prefer to dig their heels in and become resistant to love as it brings a responsibility and a deep care for humanity with the type of choices we make that offer a grander version of love that is available for all.
To allow ourselves to feel an emotion that is coming up for us doesn’t mean we have to indulge in it and can instead be the first step in truly resolving it rather than trying to push it down or away without seeing where it came from.
What struck me is that : no matter what we do or where we are – WE ARE LOVE !
Hence it totally puts all lies in place now, that everything we do to pretend we are not love -judging, denying, critize, hate, etc.etc is part of the game of continuing with sunglasses on pretending there is no sun. Whilst there is sun. A big brilliant sun that is symbol for our warmth, our love. Hence we can run miles away or apart or deny it even when we feel it is so close and burning from within – Sun is in us and so is our love – all of the time. We can either continue playing games or stop pretending and claiming that fact that we are love and that we need to accept it, connect to it, allow it to come out and understand all the previous choices before – ALL THE WAY!
What I am reminded of, whilst reading your blog Monica, is the choice is always ours. In every moment we can choose love over what is not love; sometimes quite a challenge. However the choice, responsibility and level of commitment is always ours.
The commitment to any aspect of our lives, shows us where the consistency flows and does not flow. What a simple way to bring more awareness to the body and how we move rather than opt to bring in reactions that bring a deeper level of harm and can often send us into cycles of doubt.
Thanks Monica, it’s quite a new understanding to have that energy is passing through us and that the way we live and what we choose determines what energy we experience.
It is very cool, I see it as a huge flood gate of energy and we get to pick which gate we open by how we move. The more we move in love, the larger the opening becomes and vice versa for the opposite.
When our life is one of anxiousness, frustration or anger, to mention a few emotions, is pretty difficult to be aware and accept that this is the result of a choice we have made. Yet, this is something crucial because only when you understand this, you may also contemplate making a different choice
Absolutely how we live and what we choose in every moment determines whether we react to life or respond i.e. are we anxious, angry, irritated, joyful or loving? As you say these emotions are always there we are not immune to them but it is always a choice what we choose and the more truly love and take care of ourselves the less anger and anxiousness etc we will have.
When I have reacted in some way I have allowed an energy to enter my body. I feel uncomfortable. I know it is not who I am so I have a choice to hold on to it or let it go. Allowing the emotion to pass through me I come back to myself. We feel everything… awareness is key.
Thank you Monika. When I connect to the fact that the energy expressed by one can be accessed by all (if chosen) I can see how absurd it is to believe that we can harm another without harming ourselves.
If I were a queen or had the absurd ability to rule that the colour green was not allowed and that it be removed from society, it would do nothing to deal with the fact that I still have a problem with the colour green. Green is not the problem, my problem with it is!
It is empowering to realise and feel that the love we are within is who we are. This awareness allows us to then understand that when we to go into anger, anxiousness or frustration these are the emotions that follow from the choice we made to leave the love we are. The beautiful and empowering thing is that at any and every moment we are offered the same opportunity; to be love or not.
Carola it is beautiful knowing that we are love always, that’s” who we are”, when we go into anger, frustration or anxiousness “these are just merely emotions from choices we made to leave the love we are. ” We have in every moment the opportunity to choose love or not.
This is why consistency in how we live is so important. The moment we are not with ourselves, in connection and aware of our movements, the greater the risk of allowing energy or thoughts in that are not true to who we are. As you say Monica – we have everything (energy) running through us all the time.
There is no problem with feeling everything the issue is when we react because we want it to be different. The qualities of understanding and acceptance help a lot here.
Not only is there no problem in feeling everything – it is the way to be. To feel everything, not get engaged but simply observe it as it is, is the greatest protection. From there we have a choice as to how we feel to respond (not react).
There was so much I had shut down to feeling, especially the so called bad and the ugly, I loved what you shared Nicola, that the problem is not in feeling everything, but in how we engage with it, whether we take it on as being us or whether we can view it from a place of observation that it is not us, and in that we have a choice.
It’s amazing how we seem to be so good at clocking and holding onto the unfavorables while letting pass through unnoticed the Universality that is equally passing through us constantly.
Knowing that everything goes through us, that we have a choice, means choosing to be aware. I can see how easy it is to choose to be aware of the good bits and to choose to turn a blind eye to the bits that would call for more responsibility. But easy in the short term and an opening for way more complication in the long term.
As I see and feel more love I understand myself and others more in the unloving choices we all can make, I am coming to an understanding that this is what love is, a beholding, something I’ve heard but am not coming to understand and feel more daily. When we are held in this way, when we hold ourselves in this way we are given the space, the grace to choose love (it’s always there, but it’s like an extra loving support), so love begets love for all of us, and the pool of loving choices grows for all to make.
How very beautiful and empowering Monica. Love begets love; what a joy and responsibility;
“There is a responsibility here: the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving… I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility. It’s an on-going process, not one with any destination – love begets more love”.
It is gorgeous and deeply empowering to know that love exposes what Is not love and therefore guides you to responsibly address what does not belong depending on the life you want to live.
Yes its beautiful how love exposes what is not love and guides you to address what does not belong, along the life you have chosen.
‘It’s an on-going process, not one with any destination – love begets more love.’ I have lived for a long time with the idea I need to arrive somewhere and then everything would be wonderful. How far from the truth, life is wonderful when we take our responsibility to build a foundation based on the love we are, to become more love by making choices that support such a way of life and there is no end, it feels as a forever deepening process.
I completely agree that words cannot express the appreciation I have and feel for Serge Benhayon and the Benhayon family. The only way I can express my appreciation is by being more responsible, loving and aware and living it myself.
Super gorgeous Monica – I love this blog. Felt a lot of joy at this sentence: “I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility” – because there is actually a great joy in responsibility and in being more loving and aware 🙂
This is great Monica. I have labelled certain feelings good and others bad. I have a picture in my head of wanting to be free of the so-called negative emotions. It makes sense that I am going to feel anxious, angry etc during some days, however you are right that how I treat myself and the choices I make can result in me not giving energy to those feelings.
I am love by being love – incredible statue and so true. What makes more sense than this, nothing in my eyes.. Just revealing that there is so much ill-ways to discard and so much loving-ways to take. It is our choice – every day again!
Love means I can observe the emotions that come up that is the triggers to get me in anxiousness, frustration ending in a headache or migraine. Never do they come from my essence and just like you say Monica, it is all about our choices. Do we give ourselves permission to choose what we know is true and live a loving life, or stay in the struggle of our emotions, our expectations, the pictures we have how life should be. Serge Benhayon and his family are living a loving life and we are equal to them so why not choose the love.
Thank you Monica, a great reminder how important our choices are every moment of every day, not only for us, the rest of the world too. Our responsibility to humanity is forever increasing the more aware we become of our choices and how they effect not only ourselves but everyone.
To come to the knowing that “everything passes through every body” and therefore I am totally responsible for the energy that passes through others was a life changing moment; not one that scared me but one that suddenly made so much sense of life. We have been led to believe that responsibility is an onerous burden and in some cases to be avoided at all costs, but for me it is actual something I welcome as I know that with this responsibility comes the possibility of a more harmonious and loving way of living, not just for me, but for all.
Life is all about choices, we all have areas in life that we are great in and it’s just taking that greatness to all areas, it’s up to us whether we let undealt with areas of our lives fester, and it’s up to us how much we give to life and what we put our all into – and whether we put our all into ALL of our life.
“the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving” and the more we all choose love, the more love is felt by everyone in the world.
Love attracts love and love also reflects love. Then when we choose love, then the more everyone will feel it.
We have been given so much in terms of true support to live this grand love we truly are. We have a body that talks loudly with symptoms when we step away from being loving with ourselves, it’s constantly guiding us. We have powerful awareness and clairsentience – we can feel the truth of everything around us (we do know), plus we have unlimited access to the love, wisdom and power of the universe (Aka God). There is also immense support from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine on how to live from the love we are in essence in everyday life. The key for me is to not get distracted away from this immense universal support by the many choices I have previously made to live separated from this love, but just keep saying “yes” to love and evolution, claim the grandness in me, and allow myself to be supported.
Monika these words echo what we know is deep within us; the support and foundation that can be built in this knowing allows us to see wider and wider perspectives – “I’ve felt, deep in me there is an essence, a purity if you will, a love that never leaves and is never tainted…. And it’s that solidity that allows me to address the feelings that come up”
I love reading this and feeling that it is not about not having those feelings but building more love in the body so that those feelings don’t become the focus but are more viewed and understood through a foundation that is loving which then supports you to let go of them.
Thank you for sharing your enormous love through this piece Monica
What stood out for me today when coming back to this blog was that it is all about choice: making consistently loving choices that support us to focus more on the feelings we do want to feel, and less likely to focus on those that drain and exhaust us.
The fact that everything is a choice is so soothing, I constantly remind myself that I a can choose something different every moment of my life and there’s nothing more empowering than that!
“I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility.” This for me stood out very strongly while reading this blog. If I am avoiding certain areas of my life then that affects all other areas. And after experiencing this a couple of times now, the moment I claim that I have chosen to be in the situation I am in then thats when my perception of the situation and myself and the others involved starts to change and become less heavy and healthier. So this line made a lot of sense in that love comes with responsibility and never can the two be separate, I can’t have one without the other.
‘It’s an on-going process, not one with any destination – love begets more love.’ for a long time I did not want to accept this on-going process and tried to become perfect with all the anxiousness, frustration that is part of such a way of living. It was closing my eyes for what is called evolving, that I am an equal part of the whole and there is always more love to embody.
but how they live means they are less likely to give attention and focus to it… this is a wonderful point isn’t it… It’s not saying that there is some pie in the sky attitude that makes everything okay… It’s bringing it back to tell individual choices that redefine our lives and our experiences.
Awesome blog Monica, thank you for the reminder that how we choose to live determines how susceptible we are in choosing anxiousness, anger, frustration etc. and that we all equally have energy running through us, but the question is what kind of energy are we choosing? Is it healing or harming, love or anxiousness? This is always our choice which one we choose, amazing really, because when we understand it is always our choice to choose love or anxiousness and that this responsibility is ours, and blaming others or our situations just keeps us stuck in a rut of misery and despair where love is suppressed. We can change this by choosing to be love, to take responsibility for all our choices and understand how energy works through us, I find this is super supportive in eliminating anxiousness.
If I live in a way that constantly berates myself, how can I live in a way where I am loving with others? How true this is: that how we are with ourselves is exactly the same with how we are with others. The more we consistently build a loving and true relationship with ourselves, the more we are able to do this with others.
This blog has got me questioning what are the feelings that I don’t want to feel, and why not? I can feel there are far greater depths to the feelings that I do want to feel. But because I want to be able to pick and choose the good bits, in doing so, I’m already limiting what I can feel, and so ‘stuck’ on this monochrome plateau of stagnation and not so comfortable comfort. Because unless I’m open to feeling everything, even the feelings I’d really rather not feel, life stays the same and I, we, don’t evolve
What I continue to learn is the simplicity of it all. I often catch myself going into reaction, and recently I am becoming more aware of how it affects everything, and it actually is hard not to go into self-judgment. But understanding that it is just an energy, that I was empty enough to let that energy enter and take place of love, and seeing it for what it truly is – that which doesn’t belong to me – is truly powerful. Feeling that energy leave is so confirming. It scurries away and leaves absolutely no residue of what was being felt a moment ago, as love returns to reclaim its place. Some choices obviously appear to be more deeply ingrained as we keep investing them, but still, they are choices too – and we are simply learning to keep choosing love.
I love the simplicity that you refer to here Fumiyo: there’s no right or wrong, so it’s not about judging what we’re doing, or the choices we’re making and the way we’re living as right or wrong. Simply learning to keep choosing love. No complication, no judgment, just a simple choice of love or not.
And how the tension lifts from our shoulders when we let go of needing to be right or judging ourselves as wrong.
I have often become stuck in a belief that I am whatever emotion I am feeling and it becomes difficult to separate that emotion from who I am. Thank you to you and Monica for reminding me that this way of looking at things is completely false.
Emotions always have a trigger, and that trigger is our investment, expectations and desires in all things. It is our want and need for a life of our own choosing that leaves us so vulnerable to emotional states of being – whether they be happiness or grief or anger. And although the former is the so called state of being that we supposedly seek most of all, it is itself an illusion – impossible to maintain and sustain in any meaningful way. No, the truth is we seek a form of sustenance much deeper than that, and yet we dare not claim it so, for fear that it may allude us. Better to settle for less, than acknowledge what we all deeply crave – a love so deep and profound that the stars become but ornaments in our hands.
Powerfully said. Dare we truly feel it all as Monica has alluded to, and also claim that our grandness is so vast…
It is we indeed, who keep ourselves entrained in emotion and reaction in avoidance of our grandness.
Well said Adam we as humans have been so lost in the enchantment of creation, so much so ,that we have forgotten we in fullness are from the stars.
Well said Adam. The state fo the world today is the result of humanity settling for less than the truth of love that we are for aeons –and we have all been part of this in one way or another. The vastness and grandness is felt in your words about the stars being but ornaments in our hands when we accept this love.
“Better to settle for less, than acknowledge what we all deeply crave – a love so deep and profound that the stars become but ornaments in our hands”.
So beautifully said Adam. It is certainly a challenge to let go of the control that we desire to have over what occurs in our life based on our expectations of the way things should be, but what is interesting to note is that we think we are the ones making the decisions using our minds to create this ‘perfect life’ but in reality we are conduits of energy passing through us, as Monica has described above, and the only choice to be made is which energy to align to, the fiery one from our soul, or the pranic one from our spirit.
Today I had a very busy working day and time pressure was fully available and thus anxiousness was felt in my body but also the choice to connect to my body, to my breath, to feel my fingertips and the tenderness in my touch. I felt like a jojo, from going to anxiousness back to feeling myself in my body. It is like you said Monica to choose consistently will make it easier every time we choose to be with the love that we are.
Reading this today, I have got to feel how important it is to build a body that knows and lives love consistently.
I love what you have shared Monica about when we block out one colour we block them all out. This makes life very black and white which is quite sad when you realise at your fingertips we all have a rainbow of colours that bring a vibrancy, depth and understanding to ourselves and the world around us.
Its a great reminder that we are not how we feel in that moment, we are not anxiousness, but we may feel anxious. This distinction lets us honestly find a path to return to who we really are and live from that foundation.
It’s will be in the consistency and the responsibility that delivers the spaciousness to feel all
the ‘ colours’, omitting all the tiny self sabotaging behaviours that I choose to block the complete
colour spectrum that is before me. It’s a work in progress that I’m learning to keep coming back from and in the process claiming more of who I am ” Stopping un – flavoured Feelings and Choosing Love”
Monica in one of your comments you said and I quote “I step back into the responsibility of being me – it’s something I learn more of each and every day with every decision I made, and it shows me each time ever more of the love I am and come from.” when we live with this awareness in our day to day Monica, I’m finding the one thing that keeps me away from really feeling the connection to the love I am, is not appreciating myself and honouring the life I am choosing. When I do this it pulls everything into play and the expansion is felt
We have no control over others choices however we can control how or if we react to them
This is a great article showing how we can’t cherry pick life but instead embrace it in full so we can fully embrace ourselves,
A very useful reminder that we have to feel it all, to be fully connected to the innate love that lives inside us all. We can’t pick and choose the unpleasant from the divine as that starts to block us from everything that we are.
“I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility.” Such a profound truth is one to be embraced deeply and lived to one’s best ability. Responsibility is the key to living the life that we dream of but which seems forever out of reach.
Love this Monica . Really makes it clear how every choice we make affects how we live and way we choose to run with.
It is such a joy to know that we have a choice in every moment of our lives. “I can choose to be tender in how I am with me in any moment and so increasingly my choices are more loving for me and with others.” That is really a great revelation Monika and so inspiring too.
And it’s that solidity that allows me to address the feelings that come up when I get frustrated or anxious; less and less from a place of being wrong and more from an understanding that I am love and any moments where this has not been lived are to be addressed so I can be even more the love I am. This is an awesome and very supportive way to live by here Monica, thank-you for sharing your experience with us.
What an inspiring post to start my day! The fact that we all feel everything, like it or not, is profound. In Serge Benhayon we have a living example of how we can choose to live in a way that supports us to choose love and truth over all the distracting emotions that pass through us all every moment of each day. If I have a short fuse I know that I need to reflect on how I have lived up to that moment, and how that has taken me away from my stillness.
Monica – you say here ‘…the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving…’ – wow is this so true for the way we live! I have had 2 people come to me recently to say they are feeling exhausted or feel like their bodies are starting to be a burden, but when we explored this together, what came up was that they had actually been living in a way that was more supportive recently – making better food choices, getting more sleep, not opening the laptop at night – and they could not understand why they felt worse – But as you share – the more we honour our bodies in some areas, it allows for all the times we have not listened to them to come out, hence they felt the exhaustion. So to me it shows the constant responsibility to keep looking at how we are living, how we are in each moment so that there can be no build up of tension or anxiety or exhaustion.
So it is a wise choice to bring more love into my life and to live that each moment of each day. I can do this by begining with deep care in all my movements and choices and develop my understanding and awareness from there.
I never actually previously considered that life could be lived in a consistently loving way. I thought tensions and issues and ups and downs were a normal part of life. However, what I am learning now is that this doesn’t have to be the case.
I love the analogy with colour about picking and choosing what we feel, the ones we like and the ones we don’t like. We can say we don’t like them but we still feel them, they are still there. By taking more responsibility in that area we give ourselves space to know how to respond to that emotion, denial leaves us vulnerable to being side-swiped. We feel it all, how equiped do we want to be to respond or react?
Love is all about expansion and by creating space we can expand and when we expand we only can express the absoluteness we all are – love. Anxiety grows in denseness and space does not offer denseness, but expansion.
Everything is around us and we can access anything that has been expressed by anybody. This is a reality that clearly shows that it is always about choosing the energy we align to and not the “good” winning the “bad” and then the “bad” disappears. The choice is always there it is the responsibility that only let us express what is love.
What an insightful piece of writing….”For example, someone who has mastered a way of living where they have more love and joy in their lives is neither immune to anger, nor lacks access to it – they do – but how they live means they are less likely to give attention and focus to it.”. This clearly shows that we are all equal and all have choices. No one person is born more evil or good than other. It is simply a choice as to how much the play out what goes through them and what they give attention to. But it also offers the reader much to consider, because if energy is going through us all the time, what energy are we putting out that goes into this mix that goes through our fellow brothers and sisters?
Thank you Monica, I love this line, it speaks to me this day “’I am love by being love, absolutely always, no matter what is going on.”
I love what you have expressed here Monica, there certainly is a responsibility here incumbent on us all;
“There is a responsibility here: the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving… I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility. It’s an on-going process, not one with any destination – love begets more love”.
It’s clear from what you’ve shared Monica that we’re all in this together and that it is simply our lived way that determines what our choices will be and which energy we will align to given that energy is passing through us ALL the time.
“There is a responsibility here: the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving… I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility. It’s an on-going process, not one with any destination – love begets more love.” Thank you Monica, as attractive and easy as it may be at times to play with the emotions, it always comes back to choosing love and knowing that none of these emotions are us. As I choose this more love becomes the natural place to be.
It’s very true Monica, we always have a choice, and the choice is always ours.
Monica it was great to read this blog again today, and since yesterday I have felt an anxiousness in body, but what was great to read “And it’s that solidity that allows me to address the feelings that come up when I get frustrated or anxious; less and less from a place of being wrong and more from an understanding that I am love and any moments where this has not been lived are to be addressed so I can be even more the love I am.”, it just reminded me that to reflect on moments where I have not lived the love I am, to have allowed an anxiousness and a frustration in. This gives me an opportunity to address where I dropped.
Monica I love how you write.. you make something that could be seen as complicated so clear and easy to understand. This is HUGE what is presented here ‘that everything passes through every body. So if someone does something, anywhere in the world, that feeling is available to all of us, and crucially, even those who have developed a greater consistency, understanding and awareness in how they live, also have these feelings available to them.’ It confirms that we are all in fact a one unified body. What I got from reading your blog is that we cannot say we choose to live responsibly but leave an area in our life shut/closed of how we have been irresponsibly .. everything needs to be addressed but with love and care not in a rush. Like you say we cannot see all the other colours if we don’t want to look at one.
Beautifully explained Monica. It is gold what you have just shared. In the absolute detail of how we can be more loving by what consistent choices we make from moment to moment. This is the foundation of what we align to. Whether it be love or abuse the reality will manifest. What Carmin presented, which is also inspirational, that you can’t just block out one feeling and expect to feel others: Yes, we are open to one and all or shut to one and all. I have got this concept loud and clear in my life. Thank you Monica for your great wisdom on this subject.
We can not expect when we are not loving with ourselves or only now and then, we will be genuinely loving with others. Love asks consistency and an openess to every feeling that presents itself and to make the choice to connect to love above all else not only for ourselves but for all. Serge Benhayon and its family are making this choice consistently and are my every day inspiration.
A great reminder that although everything passes through our body and that it is the same for all, what in fact makes the difference is the platform of lived consistency that means you are less likely to respond or react to what’s passing through and more likely to continue to make choices that support and honour yourself. So we’re all equally ‘hit’ by what’s coming through, but our lived quality to that point is the determinant of how we’ll respond. That’s a whole new offering in terms of self-responsibility.
Before meeting Serge Benhayon I had assigned a certain image to myself and this is all I thought myself to be, this then limited the life choices I made. However, since meeting Serge I have come to learn that I am much more than what I was holding myself to be and this has then made me see that much more is possible as I connect more to the love that is inside me.
“I can choose to be tender in how I am with me in any moment and so increasingly my choices are more loving for me and with others.” This is such an empowering and liberating realisation. When we do this we are not allowing the world ‘to do us’ but us ‘do the world’.
It is brilliant to understand that what we feel is not wrong and that no matter what, in our essence, we are always love. We can come back to love from anywhere. I have spent much of my life double guessing myself and rationalising why what I feel is not what I feel. This is a crazy way to be, yet when we accept a lesser version of life, a life that we deny that we can feel energy or deny the fact that all in this world is energy, this is where we logically end up. To feel, to know truth, to know love, is everything, beautiful, freeing and connected to everyone.
I love it Monica, as Serge Benhayon has presented ‘everything passes through every body’ and so we have the choice what we precept – hence we are all capable of loving acts and also of murder. The more love we are the more propensity and energy their is available for others to also be more love and so we have a great responsibility in each and every moment otherwise what are we giving energy to if we are not being love?
Everything is energy… we have energy passing through us all the time, everyone has the same types of energy passing through them i.e. we all have the energy of frustration, joy, love etc. So really it comes down to which energy we are going to choose. The more we choose a certain vibration of energy the easier it is to recognise, this can work for us if we choose beneficial vibrations (love), or against us if we choose heavy emotional vibrations.
What I get from reading Monica’s blog today is how important and loving it is to accept myself when I am feeling an emotion instead of being hard on myself because I have allowed an emotion to enter. Being totally honest and accepting of where I am at IS love and then this gives rise to moving forward.
“Love begets more love”. I had this experience yesterday….I chose to make a bone broth which I had been meaning to do for a long time as I felt my body needed nourishing. This simple loving step to support my body naturally let off a chain of events that were about supporting and loving me. Normally if I am home for the day, I munch and snack (often when not hungry) but with this nourishment as the foundation, it was not there to do that. Love begets more love.
As you say Monica it is all a choice, and this is what is hidden from humanity ( or perhaps it is a choice!) . But once this is understood then the doors are flung wide open for us all , if we choose, to walk through.
This blog has so much to offer, and all the comments here are just absolute gold. Thank you, Monica. What I am getting from re-reading it today is that physicality and practicality of the reality are what allows us to see, and ultimately frees us from, the entrapment we are in.
love your simple analogy. Not wanting to see the colour green, is like living in a monochrome world because we cant not see one colour and see the rest. If there is something in life we don’t want to see then the rest of life is diluted as well, we don’t see the full picture.
Yes Monica it certainly is all about choices we make in our livingness and every day life. As you have pointed out Serge Benhayon and his family live a life that allows them to make loving wise choices, they are indeed divinely, and practically, inspirational.
‘someone who has mastered a way of living where they have more love and joy in their lives is neither immune to anger, nor lacks access to it – they do – but how they live means they are less likely to give attention and focus to it.’ – Monica this is such an important point. As you say – the world will continue to still be the world as it exists today – riddled with stress, anxiousness, tension, illness, disease, war you name it- but we have a choice in terms of how we respond to this coming at us, how much we take on board, how our bodies are. It is not about immunity – it is about observing not absorbing and continuing to be open about where things are at.
I love what you share here Hannah, ‘it’s not about immunity – it is about observing not absorbing’ – that’s such a great point and something I and many others have done for long periods, we try and innoculate ourselves against hurt, against the world and in doing so we shut ourselves down and do not remain open. It doesn’t work and our world is a great testament to that. So thank you for reminding me that I’ll never be immune no matter how much I might try and actually it’s truly about observing and not absorbing and seeing life as it truly is, and those places where I do absorb, rather than react, I can come back to me and consider where exactly in me I had an expectation or some investment or outcome in mind (in my experience I absorb when I’m not willing to truly see and when I have a set idea of how I think things should be or an outcome in mind); the job then is to address that expectation, and get honest, no need to shut down or give up – it’s a very different way to how I’ve previously lived, and I now know and feel more love in my life then ever before because of this.
Monica , I love what you share about living responsibly here. It comes down to the way we live that makes all the difference.
It is all about the very simple choices we make in life, whether they are loving and supportive or not. Everything is open to us and it is all about our moment to moment choices as to what energy we align to.
Your blog Monica has made it clear, you can’t just pick and choose thoughts, using colour as an example you have painted a very clear example, you can’t leave out one otherwise you will not have a spectrum of colour. I love this colourful vision
It’s not so much about picking and choosing thoughts, that’s almost the end point, in some ways but actually about how we live up to that moment and the choices we’ve made. Everything is available to us and we are presented with a choice always and our foundation of previous choices supports us to choose more love or not. As we choose love or not, based on that choice we’re then fed the thoughts we have, it all comes back to that choice and every single moment we can choose anew, to compound our non-loving choices or to choose love. And as others have noted here, often as we choose more love we see more of our unloving choices, and that makes sense as we’re now choosing to be more aware and as such we see more, so greater refinement on colours, and everything can be seen more clearly. Writing this I can feel how much we do know and how much we decide what we want to see, it’s not just about seeing colour say, it’s about that range and depth of those colours we see, so always we decide how much we’re willing to see, and it’s an ever refining process, and the more we see the more responsibility we have to live that love and to ensure that the world has the possibility to understand and know there is another choice.
We are not perfect, each emotion gives us an opportunity to clear an aspect we still carry, taking the time to feel where and what caused it is clearing space for love to be present. Judging an emotion as not one we want to feel is shutting down and choosing to hang onto it despite the body presenting us with an aspect to be looked at and if it’s not love why would you choose to carry it in our bodies any longer.
This is an amazing blog, Monica, and the word that quickly came to me was acceptance. I can relate to wanting to feel all the ‘positive’ feelings, like love, appreciation, openness etc, and not the ‘negative’ ones, like sadness, frustration, anger etc. If I don’t accept to feel all feelings, I deprive myself of the ‘positive’ ones too, – so it’s very clear that it’s a matter of choice. And acceptance. Thank you for giving this vast subject a normal, down to earth and logical perspective. Awesome.
Yes it so much about choice and acceptance Nathalie, and that acceptance extends to how we view our feelings or emotions, and often what we perceive about any feeling either positive or negative is just a way we look at it. If we track those feelings back to our bodies and consider do we feel disturbed or out of equilibrium it changes how we see things – so even excitement if over extended can race our bodies, maybe not in the same way as anxiousness but it too can take us out of a natural equilibrium, and yet we’d see the first as good and the second as bad but the truth is our bodies and how they feel, and whether or not we’ve in our natural harmonies and rhythms. This refines the more we allow our awareness to grow and supports us to better understand and feel what our natural rhythm is.
Monica, you describe wonderfully the fact – either we feel everything or we don’t want to feel something, i.e. we avoid all feelings. There is no filter, no in between. Our homework is to learn, how to deal with our feelings and emotions and to observe, what is going on in our body. The moment we identify ourselves with the emotions, we are lost. The observing gives us the possibility to find out, why we have allowed this emotion into the body in the first place.
Alexander, I love the way you break down how we can step back and observe what we are feeling and in doing so we allow a space to see and understand very clearly that they are no use, not feeling it, whether good or bad, it passes in and through us and it’s for us to discern, observe and understand that what we allow and beyond that to fully know and feel that it’s about what we align to, love or not love.
Thank you Monica for such a great explanation/articulation….in your blog. It has given me more understanding to the nature of feeling ALL our feelings and not just the ones I want to feel. The foundation and solidity of love building more and more in my body is bringing me more and more to my true expression. Holding back is me wanting to see all the colours except green.
‘There is a responsibility here: the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving… I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility.’ If we wallow in self-recrimination for all the things we didn’t do we lose our ability to appreciate what we can and are doing. We can choose to be indulgent and follow our cravings or we can be with our true purpose: to restore our bodies to harmony so that we can be and express all that we truly are.
I agree Carmel, for me the key ingredient is having consistency with self appreciation otherwise we will not appreciate others, and self recrimination will never be far behind.
Julie, that is such a great point, self appreciation is key and without it indeed self recrimination can take over. Nothing exists in a vacuum, so we either confirm and appreciation the love we are or the opposite.
Carmel, superb comment and your line ‘We can choose to be indulgent and follow our cravings or we can be with our true purpose: to restore our bodies to harmony so that we can be and express all that we truly are.’ says it all, are we going to indulge or connect to our true purpose and take that next step to bring harmony to our bodies – I felt a huge recognition and jolt reading this as I see and feel that I’ve always known this and any diversions I take are just pure indulgence, and are not needed. So now my question becomes, is my next step or movement going to bring harmony or not? Simple. Thank you for shining a very bright light here on what we and our purpose are about.
Universal Medicine has inspired me to make choices which mean there is so much more love in my life, 5 years ago I couldn’t have imagined being in this position “It’s an on-going process, not one with any destination – love begets more love.” I also have a sense that there is so much more love available to us all.
I love how you flip the ‘short fuse’ analogy around Monica to show that with our choice we can actually build love. Like a pyramid or any building, it takes time, and strong foundations, but the further along you go the stronger the structure supports you to go. Today I get a sense how this building choice starts with being present with my body. Thank you for an amazing blog.
Reading today I have a greater understanding of the importance of loving care and rhythm, that it’s the bedrock upon which we make our choices and allows us to feel accepting and spacious or compressed and anxious. The more we deepen our rhythm in how we care for ourselves, the more we allow ourselves to be aware of and see, and the more we then have the choice to choose lovingly. Without a loving rhythm we can easily be like unmoored ships blown here and there in the wind, with no anchor. And life can easily feel overwhelming and too much. And when we feel say, an anxiousness arise, the choice we are offered is to be more loving with us, to take more responsibility and feel and understand that love is asking us to look at an area of our lives that we can bring more love to.
Wow Monica you sum it up so clearly. It is a matter of simple choice and this is one I am gradually learning I am always making, for truth… or the other.
This is an eye opener Monica. I have not previously considered that we can’t feel love without also feeling everything else that is going on. It seems like it would be nice to see the world through rose colored glasses at times but this is not possible. If we shut ourselves down to feeling anxiousness or anger then we are also shutting down our ability to feel love. There is much to ponder and reflect upon in what you have presented.
great point Lee. I know most of us myself included want to see only love or the good things, but recoil from seeing the ‘bad’. One thing I have considered recently is, what if I didnt consider anything bad, but allowed myself to understand in full exactly what it is I see. Sometimes it is horrible and shocking but life has a clearer spectrum now and its not all ‘rosy’.
A great blog Monica, this part stood out for me today, ‘There is a responsibility here: the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving…’ this is my choice, returning to being the love we innately are is beautiful.
Thanks Monica – I’ve found that when I make these changes to be more loving and tender with myself there will be changes in my body that at times can feel a bit overwhelming and that’s where having an esoteric practitioner is very supporting. Someone that knows what is going on and someone that you can feel totally safe with.
We also make a point of ‘greens’ that we cannot get as such and, as a consequence, we choose monochrome instead of blue, red, etc.
its so true Monica.. when we make more loving choices with ourselves, space is there for us, and with that the opportunity to see and understand so much more clearly, and yet it is easy to step out of that and go into the spin of rush, nervous energy, and then overwhelm. Beginning to understand why we self-sabotage by not making the choices that grant us the gift of space – reveals a resistance to going to the next level of responsibility and level of love that love itself is pulling us up to. and the resistance is just holding on to a level of familiarity and identity with ourselves, but in fact is a prison that not only holds us back but holds back all of mankind from knowing the truth of who they are.
This concept that we have to be prepared to feel the not so pleasant feelings if we want to feel the warm fuzzy feelings is interesting because it definitely paints a good and bad brush over our feelings. I have worked on just feeling without any painting on my part, if I feel angry, so be it, if I feel joy so be it. They are what they are and the outcome of feeling them is totally my choice, in my experience either can end up in a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ way so the key is to simply celebrate that I can actually feel!
Anxiousness is something that has been something I have felt in my past, it used to be overt with frustration, nervousness, lacking in self worth and the like. These days all of that less so, but there is and can be a subtle anxiousness that can still pervade. It is just more clever, I am continuing to observe, read situations and myself, so to make different decisions, but I wouldn’t say it has completely gone. But I do know it’s an ongoing choice, as opposed to it feeling like it owns me, life in the past.
This is a very precious sharing for me, Monica. Yesterday I could feel the frustration in my body and how I expressed with this in my body felt awful – it was not me but came from me and a place that was not love at that time.
“modern day philosopher – Serge Benhayon.” I like that title, for it reflects exactly what the teachings of Universal Medicine are all about. If we are truly divine by nature, and love is at our inner core, then there must be a way to live from that love and still live in the world. The ancient wisdom has always been nothing if not practical in its application, and there is where Serge Benhayon excels. There is no visiting a monk or meditating in a cave to achieve greater energetic awareness. Daily life is the tool by which one becomes aware of their own true greatness.
“It’s an on-going process, not one with any destination – love begets more love.” Love this line Monica, I love to remind myself there is nowhere to ‘get to’ only that consistent loving choices begets more love 🙂
“There is a responsibility here: the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving… I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility. It’s an on-going process, not one with any destination – love begets more love”.
These are such powerful and inspirational words for me Monica; love begets love, how beautiful.
“It’s a bit like having a ‘short fuse’ of a temper; it can be shorter if we’re tired, have been living under pressure or feeling over-whelmed, whereas if we’re living in a way which is taking care of ourselves, in whatever small steps they may be, we have more space and possibility to make more loving choices, rather than choosing anger, frustration or anxiety.” That makes such great sense to me, Monica, thank you. Yes, the key is to really nurture ourselves, in all the little details especially, build a strong body of love, then how much easier it is from that space, to be able to make truly loving choices, rather than choosing anger, frustration or anxiety. That is how I can get out of this habit of going into anxiety so easily lately.
“……. everything passes through every body. So if someone does something, anywhere in the world, that feeling is available to all of us, and crucially, even those who have developed a greater consistency, understanding and awareness in how they live, also have these feelings available to them.” Thank you for a great blog, Monica, and especially for this great reminder for me in the above quote. I have been going through some anxiousness and wanting to control things around me lately, and have been beating myself up somewhat for it. Yes, I need to accept that that is a feeling that has come into me, it is not me, and it is my choice or me to choose, and for me, it is to increase the love that I have been living, really work much more on the gentle and even delicate way that I do everything, to increase the level of love in my life. This is my responsibility at the moment, to really nurture myself and build the pattern in my life that does not give so much room for the anxiousness to drop in.
I have noticed that the more I listen to my body and surrender to its wishes, the anxiety that was once my everyday is becoming a thing of the past.
The consistency of making choices that align to love as opposed to those that pull love apart supports us to continue aligning to love.
“They are not special, but they choose to live in a way that is committed to ensuring that how they express and live is with absolute love and integrity, and I too have access to that at any time.”
There are no special ones and yet we are all divine units of God. The Benhayon family show us with their living way how very possible it is to live like this.
Awesome Monica, a beautiful and insightful blog, essentially describing the purpose of the choices available to us and the joy of responsibility. I have felt burdened by responsibility, but I see that I have simply been avoiding my power. Now, when I meet each moment with responsibility, instead of the burden, I am learning to bring my power, and as such there is a joy and delight to see what is possible.
Everything passes through every body… a great reminder to be responsible and choose carefully to support ourselves to heal and expand.
I agree, it can be a hard concept to grasp but it really brings the focus back to responsibility.
Wow Monica, I have just re read you expression here and it is gold: like a talisman of truth that I want to carry around with me to remind me of the choice I always have to return to ‘the love I am’. Absolutely brilliant in your expression.
‘There is a responsibility here: the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving… I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility. It’s an on-going process, not one with any destination – love begets more love.’ And how we want a destination and be comfortable in where we are instead of choosing to evolve our love as you have said here so beautifully. Thank you Monica!
I love this Monica thank you for the inspiration of living and expressing this – love is always there and we can always surrender to it. Just gorgeous.
I have finally come to the understanding that the quality of my life is: “all about choice, and that there needs to be a consistency in the choices I make”, so it is actually quite simple: if I make choices that are not self loving then my life will reflect that, but conversely when I do make choices that honour and respect me the quality of my life improves and expands. But there is one more ingredient and that is the consistency you mention Monica; when I am able to make self loving choices consistently I am building a foundation for my life that is solid and steady, one that will hold and support me through any challenges that arise, and even if I wobble a little the foundation will always be there holding me.
I totally agree Ingrid the quality of our life is the result of all our choices.
By choosing self love and self nurturing consistently our life improves and we build a foundation of love which when solid supports us during challenging times.
So true Loretta. Our foundations really do support us during challenging times.
Monika, I love the way you equalise us all as having the exact same energetic onslaughts to face and the exact same right and ability to make choices. How we have the equal opportunity to consistently make loving choices or not, and how you normalise those who do, such as the Benhayon family. I love how you present the simplicity of all we are needing to do is “… to commit to love, continually and deeply … to ensure that how we express and live it with absolute love and integrity.”
Choosing love over anxiousness ,now this is a very liberating way to live and is shown to us by Serge Benhayon and yourself Monica so simply and beautifully and this blog is an inspiration to appreciate and heal ourselves thank you.
What you said here Monica, “the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving… I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility”, reminds me of a picture I once got about this: If I choose to live in the shadows I can not see so much, but by choosing to turn on the light I see more. Like I am living in a room of darkness. When I start to turn on the light slightly I may see the mess around me and start to tidy up. That I did not see the mess before does not meant it was not there, just that I chose to not see it by my dim light. The more I turn on the light the more I will see. The more I see the more I feel the call to action (tidy up, clear,..). So to make this choice to see, implies the choice to take more responsibility. But it is good to realize that it is with the responsibility like with the mess – just I did not see it in the self-chosen darkness (or numbness) – does not mean it was not there always.
Sandra, I love what you share here about responsibility, I’d understood that the more we turn up the light, the more we see we may need to address but had not considered responsibility as part of that equation, as in the more light that is switched on the more responsibility that is needed to keep that light and to continue to turn on more light. It’s obvious really and great to see and understand, and it brings another level to how we operate with responsibility, we are always responsible it’s just about whether we choose to see it or not.
and with every choice to take it – the light will shine more bright 🙂
Great metaphor. The more light, the more you see. This is going on with me now both on a practical level as well as an energetic level. I am tidying up my house more, so in the details I see the little piles of paper, clothes or other things more. Same for me going into an old pattern i.e.rushing or becoming stressed, it stands out, even hurts now as I am deepening in my stillness. Just a deeper level of responsibility to make new choices of care and love.
That is a great point, Sandra. More love brings more light, and we see more – of the parts we had previously chosen not to see. This has often made me think as though none of the ‘loving’ choices I thought I was making up to that point was true and I was still just as messed up as before – I can see now how that thinking in itself is a set-up for not to take the next step of responsibility. As Monica says, a choice of love is a consistent, moment by moment thing that builds up the foundation – and I really have to get used to the idea that there won’t be a goal banner where I can go ‘Now I can relax’.
I guess we are looking forward to relax one day if we make an effort to reach something by ignoring who we already are and just expressing that….expanding, evolving will go on and on – this life, next life and beyond. Good to start to embrace it instead of fighting it because it is the only way. And less exhausting 🙂 . Appreciating is the key.
I love your analogy with turning on the light and actually see the mess in the room, Sandra. I get a feeling that it’s about honesty and truth to see and feel absolutely everything that goes on inside oneself. The more light, the more you see, and the more you can be all of who you are, because you discard what is not you (the ‘mess’). If we keep the light turned off we live in the illusion that there’s no mess..
And the more we are willing to see the more we are willing to take the responsibility. Which is always there (like the mess, even we choose to not see it) to take, but by seeing it we do the step towards taking responsibility.
Thank you Monica for this great sharing. I really appreciate your words “and it is that solidity that allows me to address the feelings that come up when I get frustrated or anxious, less and less from a place of being wrong and more from an understanding that I am love, and at any moment where this has not been lived are to be addressed so I can be even more the Love I am.”
“the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving…” a great line Monica and one where I can feel the power it offers. In that the more we choose love the greater awareness for what is not love is there, whilst this may look like our life has a greater amount of not loving parts to it or things to deal with, the fact is they were always there but we chose to ignore them. So I can start to appreciate that the more unloving areas of our life we see, their is an importance to deeply appreciating our willingness to look at them.
Just being aware of the constant underlying anxiousness is a great start. Then realising it’s just our minds driving us crazy helps to let go of all of it. In my case it was always based on what other people would think of me, did I get it right etc. A counter to that has been developing appreciation for who I am and what I bring – then it doesn’t matter so much what’s happening outside of me.
Beautiful Carmel. 🙂 Appreciation is so very powerful.
I too am finding a daily dose or two of appreciation is life changing medicine.
What I love about this article is that it points out that we all have these particles passing through us all of the time. This fact for me exposes the ‘nobody understands how it is for me’ belief system. It brings things back to an even playing field and then after that what you allow is determined by movement and the way we live. Its these choices that are the deciding factors in wether or not we let these passing thoughts have the driving seat or not.
‘Meeting Serge Benhayon and finding Universal Medicine and its many practitioners has inspired me to see and feel that no matter what I’ve felt, deep in me there is an essence, a purity if you will, a love that never leaves and is never tainted.’
A love that NEVER leaves. This is so precious and this deep level of appreciation is very beautiful. Thank you Monica for sharing your wisdom.
I too feel the same way it is beyond words the appreciation and love I feel for Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine practitioners their unwavering support and inspiration is invaluable to so many. True inspiration.
Hear hear, Vanessa.
“It’s obvious, yet I’ve spent quite a bit of time berating myself for feeling frustrated or anxious, and wanting to feel those things I like, such as appreciation, love or warmth. I now understand these can’t exist without my fully accepting the other feelings exist too, and this has been shown to me in many ways.“ This is great to look at Monica. When i honestly look at myself i often want to erase certain feelings which are not comfortable but if i do i also am not able to feel the quality that i like feeling like tenderness or love. If i start numbing myself with food i disconnect from my own beauty . In the past i was not able to deal with my hurts, sadness or other emotions and my way of dealing was numbing and checking out. But this has changed immensely and i need to honor that how great i can handle today many challenges if i choose to be fully there.
To consider that everyone’s actions are available for us all to access is rather huge and perhaps difficult to grasp and believe. Yet being willing to admit this might be possible is a great step towards recognising just how much more there is to us as beings than we currently live. Our idea of what we are capable of feeling is really quite bland, when in fact if I stop and feel there is so much I am discerning that I am blanking out. And what I find is the more I am willing to stop and feel, the more I gain access to feel. This changes everything in terms of appreciating just how amazing we are as beings and how much we waste time getting caught in dishonest practices that in all honesty we can all feel and know are going on.
This is a deeply felt blog Monica, such wisdom from understanding and honesty. As you stated everything that is lived and felt is there for us all, it is the choice of what way we choose to live.
That’s right Karoline, the quality of our livingness will determine our expression
I, like many other people I am sure, occasionally experience a low form of anxiety, especially when things like deadlines come up. However, something very important I have learnt to recognise is that anxiety is different to nervous tension. Anxiety sits underneath the nervous twitches, and nervous behaviour we go into when we rush to get something done, and it serves to cover the fact that we feel quite anxious about a potential outcome of a situation that we do not feel equipped to handle. Take for example the expectations of a boss at work that we know may be unrealistic, but do not say so. Our body goes into tension as we push it to do what is not natural, all the while feeling anxious about what might happen if we don’t get there.
To learn to deal with anxiety properly, we very much need to learn to differentiate these two states of being first, for how we deal with each one is fundamentally different.
This is a great point Adam and one that definately needs exploring.
I love this observation Adam, that distinction between nervous tension and anxiety. I feel anxiety as an underlying hum there underneath all and nervous tension as it’s outplay, the behaviours we go into to meet those deadlines, built on the bedrock of the anxiety we carry. So it’s not about fixing those nervous twitches so much as feel the quality of how we live overall and creating a space which allows us to feel what is truly underneath and to understand the anxiety we might be carrying. It’s very helpful for me to understand and read this today, thank you.
Interesting your formulation we “feeling anxious about what might happen”. What might happen… we try to control the future and by knowing on the other side that this is not possible we become anxious. I realized that the more I take responsibility about my expression and let go of the idea of controlling or ‘that I know how it should be’ – the less I am anxious.
I used to run my body in nervous tension, always rushing to get things done, too much to do, and so I would numb myself from feeling what was truly going on. As I have chosen to let go of this pattern I became aware of the anxiety that was sitting underneath and that I did not want to feel. When I feel and nominate the anxiety, that gives me an opportunity to change this, by re connecting deeper to my body, being present and tender with myself helps in stopping this anxiety.
‘that I am love by being love, absolutely always, no matter what is going on.’ A gem of a statement Monica, showing us that our choice to be responsible for what we choose, is key.
‘For me feeling this has been huge as it’s highlighted that it’s all about choice, and that there needs to be a consistency in the choices I make.’ This is very true Monica and it’s the consistency that supports us to build a more true way.
Beautifully expressed Michelle, after all if we do not build a consistency of love what do we have, we are often consistent, but what in? So the choice is to build a bedrock of consistency in loving choices and that foundation serves us to be more love in ourselves and out in the world.
I like that word Monica – ‘bedrock’. Re-reading your blog today it was as if the words had fallen out of your body and onto the page, one realization flowed onto the next with so much for the reader to relate to or understand, and now also receive from the comment thread you have inspired – thank you.
Deanne, I love that about these blogs and comments how we inspire and spark each other to see and feel more of what we know deep within and to express it on the page (or online!). And how amazingly supportive this is, how much more we learn and understand, and I wouldn’t miss it for the world – I feel like I have this huge family and we’re all learning about love and being love in the world together.
“There is a responsibility here: the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving… I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility. It’s an on-going process, not one with any destination – love begets more love”. I so love what you have expressed here Monica, it is succinct, clear simple and very powerful. Love begets love, how beautiful.
“how we live determines what we see or favour”…this line really stood out for me today. This is so true and when we continually support ourselves to make more loving choices, it shifts our view on our life and when a situation happens, we can see the more loving choice more easily because of this foundation. And this is to be practised, not in perfection as some days forward,some days back, but in dedicated and committed way.
Well said Sarah,’it shifts our view on our life and what a situation happens, we can see the more loving choice…’ these choices then become a way of life, in how we live and our perception changes and our world view, it is actually very powerful ‘choice’.
I have seen this in my work with children who have been neglected or abused in some way and they can only see the bad and refuse to see the good i.e. when a room was painted and decorated they would see the broken drain outside not being able to accept that things could be loving and beautiful. Perception is very strong in us and building loving rhythms that continually connect us to our divinity is a consistency that is worth investing in.
I agree Sarah. I particularly notice this choosing of what I want to see in my Esoteric Yoga sessions. Here I get to stand back and observe and not judge what is there. I get to see a much more whole picture without the usual filtering of what I want to see. This empowers me and makes me feel much more whole. This way of being is something to bring more into my life, to be able to accept everything within and around me.
Claiming the love one is and building this choice into our daily lives really does bring a different solid way of being and the love claimed allows a gentle rhythm and knowing. Thank you Monica – a beautiful helpful sharing for such a prevalent dis-ease and life.
I hadn’t realised until recently just how much anxiousness features in my day to day life – anxious to get things right, anxious to make sure everybody likes me, anxious about all the things I have to do in the day, anxious about a new job, new event, anything and everything. What I have also learned is that it affects my voice, makes it more strident, so people don’t like me because there’s an aggressive ‘edge’ to it when I speak. How do I change that? By being present with my body, touching things more gently, allowing my body to relax, by being aware of how my voice feels, dropping my shoulders, breathing gently, relaxing my jaw,and then speaking from there. Anxiousness is a mental activity, feeling my body brings me back to my heart.
Carmel I love the practicality of what you’ve written. I can let anxiousness run riot in my body by going through all the to dos in my head and not just what I should be doing but the outcomes too. And then I realise I’m trying to control and run the show. I’m no longer in connection with myself and appreciating or accepting myself. So coming back to my body I can feel the grace in which we’re all held and breathe my own breath again.
Great point Karin, anxiousness can seem to take over, ‘I’m trying to control and run the show. I’m no longer in connection with myself and appreciating or accepting myself. So coming back to my body I can feel the grace in which we’re all held and breathe my own breath again.’
Great reminder Carmel, I can really relate to what you are saying. I can feel anxiousness throughout my day to day life for a myriad of reasons. Sometimes it is there and I am not even aware it has crept in. Over time I have learned how my body is, how my voice is and tone, I now use these as markers to feel where I am at. Along with the other things you mentioned to change, when a hardness creeps in, to help bring me back to my body and heart.
Carmel, what you share is so real and practical and it takes us away from that mentalness we can get into and back to our bodies – how do we feel, how do we move, and at those times when we notice a stridentness say in when we speak or a hardness in when we move we can simply check in with our bodies and make deliberate choices to move in a more gentle way with it. Thank you I will be taking this into my day today, a reminder that no matter what’s gone before I can move now in a way that is gentle and tender with me and that changes everything.
I agree about bringing attention to your movement and how your movement with another then can offer a choice to them. The other day I was at a lunch and someone passed me the oil or something like that and the way they did it had so much stillness it was a stop for me to just notice where I was at and confirm that stillness, now this is not to be confused with doing something in slow motion ! It was the quality that created the stop. Very powerful.
Vanessa, I love that distinction stillness vs. slow motion, they are different, and it highlights that it’s not the speed of how we move, but the quality we move in , as you say ‘it was the quality that created the stop’. This is super helpful to be reminded of today, thank you.
Beautifully shared Carmen. I can feel anxious one minute (when I am off in my head), convinced that I need to be anxious or that there is nothing I can do about it in that situation. But as soon as I come back to my body I feel solid and quiet inside and the anxiousness is gone. Anxiety I am seeing more and more is something that I choose to bring in when I disconnect from myself.
I have also found that Chakra-Puncture, a needling technique founded by Serge Benhayon through Universal Medicine, has supported me enormously with clearing old patterns of anxiousness out of my body and making the space for more presence, stillness and joy within me.
Carmel, I always love the honesty you bring in your comments, it makes me smile and look at myself with less judgement and thus the space to come back to my body and not be dominated by the thoughts I had chosen. I make it all about me when I distract myself with going into my head instead of knowing every particle of me is connected with everyone and everything in the universe.
Great awareness Carmel, anxiousness can creep in in so many areas, and coming back to our body, being present with ourselves, how we move etcetera, does seem to change the dynamics in a lovely way.
Such a real comment Carmel 🙂 isn’t it amazing how being anxiousness can actually change the way move and walk and talk to make a completely different version of our sweet, tender and open selves.
The solidness you write about in the end Monica is something my friend and I have been appreciating lately. Once this solidity is within our choices become much clearer especially when other emotions come into play.
Acceptance, acceptance, acceptance – ‘that everything passes through every body..’ all the time. None of us are special or immune to these emotions or feelings and we each have the power of choice on our side. So what will we choose?
Yes Rachael we do have the power of choice in every moment on our side, as we are the Captains of our own ship and always have full power. It is only in the doubt or second guessing that we feel powerless.
Yes Julie, time to pull up the anchor and sail our own ship in whatever weather comes our way.
The fact that everything passes through all of us, all the time brings a great sense of responsibility and custodianship. How we treat the vehicle (our body) that everything passes through affects everyone else. If we muddy the water as it passes through us, this has a flow on effect to everyone else.
I am beginning to understand and feel what responsibility truly means Fiona and how my choices reflect this understanding in the way I move and express in every moment.
Yes Fiona , we isolate ourselves and think that in our privacy we affect no one, but we are all affecting everyone and everything all of the time.
Fiona I agree, and it is up to us to make choices that ensure what comes from us and passes through us has a foundation of love, that we live love to the best of our ability at all times.
Yeah nice point bought here Rachael that acceptance of what we feel is key to the ability to be with what we are feeling and not try and bury it or push it away and pretend we are doing fine.
So simply put Rachael, I feel like I am only touching the sides when it comes to acceptance, re-learning to accept deeply and innately who I am, accepting those around me, the choices that they make, then to bring understanding of those choices too. It is a choice, to accept who you are and therefore others.
Yes, Rachel, Acceptance is such an important word. We need to accept that we all equally are not “special or immune to these emotions or feelings and we each have the power of choice on our side”. That brings up another very important word for me, Responsibility. Those of us who are aware of the fact that we have a choice, rather than going into a default position, have a huge responsibility to choose the loving way of being for the sake of all humanity, to show that there is another way to be living our lives.
“They are not special, but they choose to live in a way that is committed to ensuring that how they express and live is with absolute love and integrity, and I too have access to that at any time – I just need to commit to love, continually and deeply.” Music to my ears, it’s the steady commitment to building a foundation of love in my life that supports me like nothing else, this is a work in progress, and as I commit more to this, all areas of my life that I don’t hold in love get shown up in comparison to the areas I am bringing love to.
I often feel that we use the ‘special card’, thinking someone else has it easier because of this or that reason, because we don’t want to admit that we have had exactly the same opportunities to make the same choices they have made – not just in this life but an accumulation over many lives. It comes down to consistency and dedication to me.
Yes Fiona, we use special to hide and to avoid our own irresponsibility – we delude ourselves that it’s easier to think others are special or have had special privileges we lack rather than do the work we know we can do; it’s a huge distraction and a massive trap and one that is so easy to get caught in; if at any moment I feel myself going into blame or I feel jealous or compare with another I know I have stepped into this trap and now it’s learning to step back and see and feel where I am, accepting where I am, and allowing myself to appreciate that I can consider this and dedicating anew to my next step. I step back into the responsibility of being me – it’s something I learn more of each and every day with every decision I made, and it shows me each time ever more of the love I am and come from.
Very true Fiona, thinking that someone else has it easier for some reason, is probably one of the greatest and easiest excuses to come up with… kind of like digging your heels in and resisting any inspiration to change
This is true responsibility Fiona and an acceptance that we are all equal and equally able to choose the fullness of who we are at any time. Once that choice is made, consistency and dedication are what evolves us. I love how you refer to the ‘accumulation over many lives…’ Makes me smile and puts the urgency of wanting things to be different ‘this life’ or ‘today’, well into perspective. Thank you.
Yes I agree Fiona and All. Special and ‘Lucky’ are not real…it’s more choices and consistency.
What a great call out Kathryn ‘Special and ‘Lucky’ are not real…it’s more choices and consistency.’ So true and yet in our societies we are littered with the idea that both are possible and those who are perceived as either special or lucky are somehow beyond the rest of us, or else something to emulate, and yet we miss what can truly be offered here, that those we often perceive as either quality can just be those who have made different choices from us with love and consistency; and or that those we perceive as special or lucky or somehow gifted are not what we think they are at all. We need to discern and feel what is true, is someone living with a fullness of who they are and reflecting that to us, or does someone appear to have it all, and yet come from an emptiness, or not be truly themselves. Ultimately it all comes back to choice, and to consistency, each and every one of us has the same opportunity to choose love, the question for us is how we live to support that choice and that love. Do we make love the absolute centre of all we do and all we are? Do we align to the divine inner essence we all hold?
Absolutely Fiona. Special is an excuse for us not having made the same loving choices another has. Far easier to call them special than to look at our own choices.
Such an important point Thomas. There are no special or chosen ones, we all have equal access to all that is, it is only by our choices that we do not access this. Committing to expressing and continually choosing love will ensure that we live from love.
“It’s a bit like having a ‘short fuse’ of a temper; it can be shorter if we’re tired, have been living under pressure or feeling over-whelmed, whereas if we’re living in a way which is taking care of ourselves, in whatever small steps they may be, we have more space and possibility to make more loving choices, rather than choosing anger, frustration or anxiety.”
The word that jumps out for me in this paragraph Moncia is ‘space’, and when we are taking loving care of ourselves, we have more spaciousness in our bodies, and in that spaciousness its easier to choose not to react, or get angry, instead to stay steady with our love and presence.
Yes, great sentence to pick and one I can so relate to as well Thomas and as you say giving ourselves space is a great antidote to over-whelm, anxiousness and when we are under pressure.
I agree Judith. Creating space in my body puts those emotions in perspective. There is no pull to go there as the space itself feels lovely and complete.
I love that you are bringing us back to space here Thomas, as it is key. This space or spaciousness is something that defies time and essentially it can heal our human condition as we know it, not through fixing anything or any issue but through the act of co-creating space a configuration that is designed to work in naturally with life’s flow is born and that relationship supports everything and everyone that is blessed by it.
I love what you offer here on space Sarah and Thomas, it’s the foundation upon which we can heal, and those words Sarah ‘through the act of co-creating space a configuration that is designed to work in naturally with life’s flow is born and that relationship supports everything and everyone that is blessed by it’ speak deeply of how this operates, how it changes the paradigm of life completely and brings us back to our natural rhythm and flow and from there we open up and can see and observe the world without getting caught in it – we offer the world a different way as we live and walk the natural rhythm we are.
Yes, it changes the game, as it makes it all about quality and the cells in the body.
Truly, deeply loving this conversation about ‘space’ Connecting with this and allowing myself to feel the spaciousness within me and around me completely disarms the emotion and the ‘tightness’ that the ‘short fuse’ invites. There is so much more to explore on the topic of ‘space’.
I agree and what is interesting is that the word itself ‘space’ holds a particular quality that seems to immediate activate more space in my body.
I am loving my introduction to the term ‘space’ and can also feel its affect on my body and everything around me. More is possible in a spacious environment that is not necessarily physical. Conversations, stopping and making space for my movements, even making space in my breathing opens up room for creativity, wisdom and deep connection to emerge. It’s a life changer Sarah.
Yes it is a life changer but what if space is not something we go to that then gives us something?
To me it is the movement in each moment that guarantees a spaciousness and then what needs to be delivered comes naturally.
Yes so true, because we already ‘are’ this space when we choose it – our movements deliver this – or not… thank you Sarah!
When I am in flow with my rhythm and the rhythms of those around me I feel spacious and there is more than enough time to do whatever it is that I need to do. When I am not in flow, I do not have this feeling of spaciousness and feel as though there is no time for anything.
Very simply put Lee and that is pretty much how it rolls for me too, now all thats left to do is bring the flow consistently.
Thank you for expanding on this important piece of writing and I love the conversation about space and spaciousness. I pictured a room and there is a natural way of being in the room, arranging the furniture so it all fits and sits well in the room…but when we clutter the room, and add more than is needed, and stack stuff on stop of each other, the room no longer feels at ease….it struggles. That’s what it fees like from what you are presenting…that we can live in a way that has a natural flow and space or overcrowd it and feel claustrophobic.
I love how tangible and physical your example is, sums up space or lack there of very well.
Stunning comment, sarahraynebaldwin. Time is where I feel pressured and stuck in a pattern of reaction/behaviour and underlying anxiousness, and spaciousness is what defies that and allows me to come out of that.
It’s so great to read this today and have this highlighted that when we feel under pressure we’re not allowing space and restricting ourselves to time and of course there is never enough, but space changes everything, it allows us to feel and see everything and allow it to come to us.
Thank you for the appreciation Fumiyo Egashira, time is a big struggle for me too and sometimes it takes a reminder of your own words to bring the body back to committing to each movement this way. My old way of responding when I am “running out of time” is to go into my head and then rush my body to keep up, thinking all the while that I have no time for anything but this behaviour.
What the original comment is offering is the possibility that we have a choice to connect to the source, a source that never runs out of time, if we then live accordingly to that rhythm, the space is naturally there, surrounding us, so its not a gaining but a returning to a way that is always there for us if we choose it.
A very important point you make here, Thomas, yes, when we take care of ourselves and live in a loving way, we are developing more spaciousness and a consistency of loving care in our bodies, which helps us resist making choices that are harmful to our bodies, such as anger, frustration or anxiety. As you say “to stay steady with our love and presence”.
This spaciousness is something that is so important Thomas. I know that at times I feel like I have too much on and lack the spaciousness to support myself in making loving choices. This feels like a tension or anxiousness to me, and as Monica has shown in this blog, it is important to be open to feeling all that there is to feel.
It’s great to remember that Lee, that allowing ourselves the space is the best foundation in all we do. Without it, it’s super easy to go into overwhelm, and yes when we do go there (overwhelm, that is), it’s about being honest about that, and making it really simple, what is the next thing, and how can we support ourselves in the most loving way with that.
“For me feeling this has been huge as it’s highlighted that it’s all about choice, and that there needs to be a consistency in the choices I make. So if I live in a way that constantly berates myself and others, how can I grasp the possibility of being loving towards another, rather than angry, if I have not lived lovingly in my day to day life?”
So very true Monica, when I constantly berate, judge and criticise myself and other people throughout my day, then how can I expect to switch on the love at the end of the day, when I come home to my family, as I haven’t been choosing that love and connection to myself during the day.
I love what you express here Thomas, how can we expect to switch on the love button, if all we focus on is critic and judgment about what can be improved in the world, in others and even within ourselves. Appreciating what is there and can be built upon is really the true way forward.
“It’s obvious, yet I’ve spent quite a bit of time berating myself for feeling frustrated or anxious, and wanting to feel those things I like, such as appreciation, love or warmth. I now understand these can’t exist without my fully accepting the other feelings exist too, and this has been shown to me in many ways.”
I can definitely relate to what your saying Monica, when I feel anxious, frustrated or angry or any other ‘unwanted emotions’, they already awful in my body, and then on top of that feeling I then berate and give myself a hard time about having those feeling, wanting to feel more favored feelings such as love, joy or harmony.
It’s an on-going process, not one with any destination – love begets more love.” I love this line Monica, a great reminder and very supportive.
So clearly and beautifully written Monica….”the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving…” This awareness offers evolution to deepen the relationship we have with ourselves, which then naturally flows on to the relationships we have with others…
A commitment to being in the body as much as possible is a key to living with the love that is within. So often we live outside of the body, living like a head on legs, thus negating the opportunity to feel what is inside.
That is my experience too Matthew if I am choosing to be more in my body I could feel myself more and so I am also more present. Being more present is good as that helped me to feel what is my next step and not to think what is my next step.
If one has lived a life of anxiety – and most people live with some degree of anxiousness or restlessness within – then it is not easy to just suddenly “make a choice to be love.” This is not because such a choice cannot be made, but because the truth is we are familiar with that anxious state of being, and in its own peculiar way, it makes us feel comfortable. Our body is wired to be that way, and so even if we “think” different thoughts, our body often reacts before we are even aware of it, and suddenly our breathe is short, our chest tight, and it consumes us. However, this can change – with time, with diet, with a willingness to get very honest about what we are truly anxious about. It can change, believe it or not, by learning to move differently – gently at first – to a different type of rhythm. And all that starts by connecting to the fact of something deeply innate within us – the feeling of our own Soul. And often we feel that connection via another before we feel it within ourselves, and so we are inspired to make changes in our life. Thus why so many people are inspired to change their lives after meeting Serge Benhayon, and do make changes that change their lives.
When I am gentle and respectful with myself and my body, there is less and less space for self-criticism. It feels like I set a foundation that simply says no to cruelty – verbal or otherwise (doing things that hurt my body).
Blocking out one feeling with another is exactly what we do. There are layers upon layers of reactions to what we don’t want to feel when it could be so easy to just turn the other way and just feel it and be with the feeling instead of running a million miles away from a truth we feel and keep throwing a blanket over it thinking it will go away.
Very true Matthew sometimes I think we get caught on the treadmill running so hard we feel like we don’t have enough balance to press the stop button for ourselves so our body steps in with illness or dis-ease to stop us; offering us an opportunity to choose a more loving way to live. I know for me healing hurts can be like peeling an onion and when I feel like I have let go of a hurt there is still another layer to be peeled away offering a deep connection to the core of my being.
“Serge Benhayon and his family are no different from me and they have access to the same feelings or emotions as I do – frustration, anxiety, anger, love or joy – but how they live allows them to more clearly see the loving choice.” This is a great point the Benhayons have no special privileges they are exposed to everything we all feel they just like all of us have the choice how they live. They clearly are dedicated to choosing to take more responsibility for their choices then most of us by choosing and are fully dedicated and committed to living and expressing truth through absolute love and understanding for humanity.
So true Margaret – this highlights to me the equality of humanity. We all have equal resources to makes choices – it’s how we make those choices that dictates the quality of our next one. I am always inspired by the consistency the Benhayons and other UM students live by – there is no need to compare as I know it is possible for everyone to approach life in this light.
I love your statement Rachael “We all have equal resources to make choices – it’s how we make those choices that dictates the quality of our next one.”
I know for me I was inclined to beat myself up for many of my loveless choices and was far too hard on myself with the unachievable expectations I placed on myself. This deeply ingrained pattern was a big part of my self-loathing I gave myself away to. Since choosing to stop being a victim to my past: letting go of expectations and bringing the understanding of the big picture of life along with appreciating just how far I have come in learning to love myself, my pattern of going into self-abuse is dissolved by me connecting to the solid foundation of self-love I choose to connect to.
Monica this is some serious wisdom you are sharing here -“There is a responsibility here: the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving… I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility. It’s an on-going process, not one with any destination – love begets more love.” – Bring on the Love and Responsibility I say.
“So none of us are different or special and each and every one of us has everything available to us – anger, anxiety, frustration, love, joy etc. – but how we live determines what we see or favour. For example, someone who has mastered a way of living where they have more love and joy in their lives is neither immune to anger, nor lacks access to it – they do – but how they live means they are less likely to give attention and focus to it.” Such a beautiful reminder to keep building our awareness.
I love how you have expanded on the fact ‘that everything passes through every body’.
Awesome blog Monica. I can so relate to “It’s obvious, yet I’ve spent quite a bit of time berating myself for feeling frustrated or anxious, and wanting to feel those things I like, such as appreciation, love or warmth. I now understand these can’t exist without my fully accepting the other feelings exist too, and this has been shown to me in many ways.”
“I would not be where I am today without the work I’ve done to address the anxiousness of how I’ve lived and the changes I’ve since made to be more gentle, tender and loving with me. Meeting Serge Benhayon and finding Universal Medicine and its many practitioners has inspired me to see and feel that no matter what I’ve felt, deep in me there is an essence, a purity if you will, a love that never leaves and is never tainted.”
This essence and purity that you speak of Monica, this fragrance of love is there in us all, always, it’s a place we can choose to return to, no matter what we have suffered in the past, it is through the practitioners of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon, that this return to the love we are, has never been so simple and so available to any-body that so chooses to re-turn back to the love that we all are.
“There is a responsibility here: the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving… I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility. It’s an on-going process, not one with any destination – love begets more love.”
Responsibility, or the ability to respond to life, definitely gets bigger and all-encompassing as we choose more love as we also choose more awareness, and with more awareness we see the areas of our lives, relationships, work, etc. that we need to bring more love and care to, this is not always easy, but is absolutely so worth every step along our return home to love.
“It’s a bit like having a ‘short fuse’ of a temper; it can be shorter if we’re tired, have been living under pressure or feeling over-whelmed, whereas if we’re living in a way which is taking care of ourselves, in whatever small steps they may be, we have more space and possibility to make more loving choices, rather than choosing anger, frustration or anxiety ”. Beautifully put Monica, the small and seemingly simple acts of self love and care make a huge difference, when a hurt gets triggered by another, there is a split second where I can choose to react or not, when I’m tired and hungry its very difficult if not impossible to choose not to react. Whereas when I have been choosing to take steady loving care of myself, I naturally want to continue to choose that love and harmony with others and not react or get angry.
The “steady loving care” is very significant Thomas, it is no use trying to sustain it in flashes and patches, it has to be steady, every moment, every day building of that quality in life, and then as you say, there is no such draining tiredness that leaves space for quick reactions. Thank you for your sharing.
“So none of us are different or special and each and every one of us has everything available to us – anger, anxiety, frustration, love, joy etc. – but how we live determines what we see or favor. For example, someone who has mastered a way of living where they have more love and joy in their lives is neither immune to anger, nor lacks access to it – they do – but how they live means they are less likely to give attention and focus to it.”
The way you describe this is very useful and practical Monica, I often compare myself to others who don’t appear to be dealing with the same dramas or emotions that I am, projecting on them that they live a special or somehow charmed life. I understand now that the more I choose to love and care for myself and be tender, taking full responsibility for my actions, the less space or focus there is on unwanted emotions.
“Words cannot adequately describe the appreciation I feel for Serge Benhayon, the Benhayon family and the various practitioners who’ve shown me that I am love by being love, absolutely always, no matter what is going on.” Monica, beautifully written the fact that we all are love is the foundation, we can all choose to return to at any point in our life, or any point of the day, not matter what we are feeling; anger, frustration or reacting to another person. The love that we are is always there to return to.
“I just need to commit to love, continually and deeply”. These words are a great reminder for me at present Monica as when things go awry, my connection to that love, disappears in favour of trying to fix/do something so then I don’t have my own love to support me through it, giving me the feeling of being unsupported. I am learning the power of my own love and how it can absolutely support if I just surrender to it.
“It’s a bit like having a ‘short fuse’ of a temper; it can be shorter if we’re tired,” I can relate to this when I used to be very tired and exhausted, I had very little patient and would get angry or snap very quickly. When the tiredness went away through loving choices I made to support my body, I felt I had more space to make loving choices and there was no need to go into anger or snap.
‘that everything passes through every body.’ Every feeling, any emotion we cannot but feel and although I know this to be true, every time I read it I can feel I try to not allow myself to feel this fact 24/7. So thanks again for the reminder to fully embrace the sensitive nature we all are.
I love and welcome this reminder with open arms too Annelies. I feel a sense of brotherhood in this fact too, that we are all feeling what is out there and have the potential to love and live from what is within. We are not alone in our journey home.
Beautiful comment Rachael, we are all feeling everything and we are are all in this together, so we can certainly never be alone.
A beautiful reconnecting blog Monica, thank you. It occurs to me that loving and caring and self nurturing oneself has to be with a gentle, tender quality of energy that connects us with our hearts first, and then we carry out the daily self loving choices. As you say, that is available passing through us all the time. Making it our choice rather than all the other many possible choices is paramount to living lovingly with ourselves and among others. For Love creates bonds and union through connection and feeling, and brings people together in harmony, whereas anxiety, frustration, jealousy, and so on, create division and separation. To feel them all and choose the Love is mastery of the spirit, our supposedly individual selves that can waywardly avoid the truth and go out on its own limb for self gain.
‘…living lovingly with ourselves and among others…’ this makes sense of putting ourselves first – taking responsibility for the integral part we play and whether we hold and honour, or undermine and suppress others.
Choosing love in our days is like re-tipping the balance – we can become steadier and steadier until such time as love is our foundation and default position, rather than emotion and reaction. What is so amazing then is that the moments of ‘not love’ stand out like sore thumbs, rather than, what was for me most of my life, the Love moments being the every now and then event.
Love your re-tipping the balance by choosing love in our days analogy Matilda. Also the ‘not love’ moments standing out like sore thumbs brings to mind the expression “I was all thumbs”.
Your words here Monica remind me, that every person and situation is a reflection of what we are choosing in life. In this power, we then can see we have a grand responsibility, and if we ever shift to blaming or pointing the finger, it is us who has missed ‘the point’ at play.
Yes Joseph, that is so true and simple, each situation is a responsibility and it’s an offer for us to choose love in that moment, and if we don’t by going into blame at the other or the outside we have missed the point, and we will be presented with another situation until we do get it, we’re going no where – life is a series of cycles and we’re constantly presented with a next point to choose love, it’s both a grand responsibility and a gift. We are offered every opportunity and no one is ever left behind, it’s just our choices that decide where we are with our own love.
What I love about articles like these is the simple, totally accessible inspiration. This morning I am inspired by the fact that the smallest of responsible loving steps paths the way for the next, just as a step taken in disregard sets up the next. It is always our choice to confirm the love we are and break the pattern of self-abuse OR compound and cement the patterns that keep us circling in chaos.
It is really powerful to know that everything is a choice.
I used to let anxiousness run my body until exhaustion would take over. It was a constant merry-go-round of fear lived each day. Until such time that I brought awareness to this fact and started to take command of how my body feels, not letting it be run by factors from the outside world. And I simply just started to say no. No to the anxiousness when I would feel it rising up in my body – something I sometimes still need to do. And I have discovered how this gives me a incredible re-assuring moment, when I am actually saying yes to myself and confirming that I am fine and I can handle the situation.
This sounds like a divine fuel change to me, Shami. An inspiring and confirming way of putting it, thank you.
I felt the importance, and responsibility in how I hold myself recently when attending an exam. I felt the the choice was there for me to allow myself to go into nervous energy or anxiousness, or be hard on myself at various points throughout the exam. With my understanding now, I know that choosing these things allows them to be there much easier for another also. Equally I can choose to remain with myself, and focus on the stillness that can be me presence, and therefore reflection for all too.
Great sharing Monica, and I do find this part very interesting; someone who has mastered a way of living where they have more love and joy in their lives is neither immune to anger, nor lacks access to it – they do – but how they live means they are less likely to give attention and focus to it. In the past I used to think that we have to clear all the emotions to evolve, but it is not about the absence of emotions but the way we deal with them. Today I can say that I hold pretty much the same level of stillness inside, during work and at home with others, and if some situation occurs where reactions arise, I do observe and take care of myself that I do not allow this emotions to take over, but not numbing them either. It is the way I am able to see the bigger picture of situations my ability of accessing my inner knowing. This is such a simple way to live and so possible for everyone, the same.
This really is a great blog we can’t just choose what to feel and not feel because whether we like it or not, believe it or not, accept it or not we all feel everything equally.
Well said kevmchardy. In knowing that we cannot pick and choose what we allow ourselves to feel, life becomes about acceptance and how much do we accept what is going on for us and others, not acceptance in the sense of endorsing what is not right but acceptance in the sense that if something is happening then we first have to accept the fact that it is happening before we can do anything about it.
I like the distinction you make here Elizabeth, when we accept what is going on around us we may not like what we see and the acceptance is not endorsing what is not right, but rather allowing ourselves to feel it all so we can meet what it is that is being called for. If we do not let ourselves feel it we can become numb to it and disengaged with what is going on in our world.
That’s a big one Elizabeth ‘knowing that we cannot pick and choose what we allow ourselves to feel’. I have not mastered this yet but I am working on it and appreciate that it requires a much deeper understanding of acceptance.
‘I am love by being love, absolutely always, no matter what is going on.’ It really is that simple. Thank you Monica you have shown us that without full acceptance there can be no true love. I can be firm and truthful yet without love it means nothing.
I love your clarity with this blog Monica, that it’s all about choosing Love for yourself and then it is what it is. It’s very straightforward, we can choose anxiousness easily enough, so changing to choose love for ourselves is simply a different route we can choose to take.
“I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility.” – This nails it Monica… wisdom is all there all the time but do we want the responsibility that comes with it, is the big question?
Are we willing to take responsibility for the fact that we feel everything all of the time? A great question to ponder in absolute listening mode to our bodies… from here we can access honesty and build commitment… or not – our choice.
I agree when you talk about it being a marathon and not a sprint. Too often I would choose to push and rush to get something done or complete something and it didn’t have the care and attention to detail that it could have done, and it would need attending to later on.
Thank you Monica your blog is beautiful and powerful to read. When I feel my body begin to get anxious I can give into the feeling or remain really present in my body and connect to my breath that supports me to release any tension. This line stood out for me and is a gorgeous reminder if I start to be hard on myself – ‘And it’s that solidity that allows me to address the feelings that come up when I get frustrated or anxious; less and less from a place of being wrong and more from an understanding that I am love’.
Monica, the understanding and love of yourself that you write this with oozes off the screen. Thank you very much for sharing YOUR tenderness.
Wow Monica this is profound and beautiful to share as living with anxiousness is a major epidemic today and the real ways to change this are not known and instead coping mechanisms are what one is usually given. You are offering the possibility that we have a choice and that it is the consistency of making these loving choices that really does make the difference needed to build a new way of being and eliminate our anxiousness controlling and ruling our lives with love, appreciation and honesty of our feelings.
Gosh what a stop it was reading these magnificent words Monica. I have been playing with that cycle of ‘I wish…’ but not really grasping the base of all is our choice. If I live in a way that does not support love then I do not really get the opportunity to see it as a clear and equal choice to the overwhelm and anxiety that is more easily lived. Breakthrough for me – thank you so much.
Lee, how beautiful, you had me at ‘I wish’, so often I’ve looked out at others in envy and jealousy seeing their lives and the love they live, going ‘I wish’ but as you say if we’re not willing to give ourselves the opportunity to make loving choices then how can we have more love – we do indeed need to balance the scales so that love is an equal choice, we can’t have more love by heaping more on the other side – thanks Lee you’ve given me another level of understanding of love begetting more love, and seeing it as a scales if I don’t add to the love side but keep adding to the other side how can I get more love – I’m busily saying I want more love, while feeding non-love and wondering why more love is not there!! Both ouch and awesome as I can feel it more and I can change it.
This is brilliant and the image of scales tipped either to Love or not Love is fantastic for my understanding too.
Yes so true, we have become so good at feeling what is not rather that appreciating what is. Great imagery of the scales.
Great comment Lee. ‘I wish’ has never worked for anyone, though we all dabble in it at times. Life is really super simple, make the choice of how you want your life to be and commit to living that quality every day.
Thank you Monica. Your blog shares a great truth – that we are all equal yet it’s how we choose to live and be with ourselves that determines the focus on what feelings we express from. I love how you have written this using the examples of those who inspire you (and many) and the range of feelings you list.
Accepting that we are all equal in our essence dispenses with excuses and comparison – two killers when it comes to working, developing and learning together.
“I now understand these can’t exist without my fully accepting the other feelings exist too, and this has been shown to me in many ways.” In the past, I had the same wish, I didn’t want to feel the “bad” feelings and emotions, I was running away from them. Today I know as you say, if I want to feel my love, I have to feel everything within my body. Hence it is very important to deal with my hurts, otherwise my hurts will always disturb me and they will always come back through the back door – in the moments, when I don’t need them.
It is about feeling it all. Not living filtered or compartmentalised and about self accepting all of us as we are warts and all and the delicious joy we are and feel.
Absolutely Alexander, I like this inner knowing that we don’t have to hide anything, but we can rather with honesty and clarity observe everything, and still dealing with our unresolved hurts by choosing the love we are.
It is so true Alexander that unless I/we deal with our hurts they ‘will always disturb me’ and therefore to resolve the hurts requires me to feel them. That if I wish to see all the colours I cannot run away from what is painful but to turn and deal with the causes of the hurt.
Thank you Monica, loved reading your blog. This is the natural unfolding back to our true nature, “the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving… I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility. It’s an on-going process, not one with any destination – love begets more love.”
‘Love begets more love’ this is gold. I love these words.
Yes Victoria, this has been and still is an big learning for me, that it’s not about suddenly being there, or arriving at a point where I’ve gotten it but an unfolding every step of the way, and understanding that grace plays here, and the more I feel and allow love, the more grace there is – I do have to let go any preconceptions of how I think things should look or people should react; and grace operates in ways I don’t always at the time understand but the more I just live love the more I trust it and the more I feel it’s magic. We have impacts beyond what we sometimes know and understand, and we are part of so much more and something that is so grand.
These are wise words from a wise woman! Love this, repeating here: I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility. It’s an on-going process, not one with any destination
Why bother feeling bits of me when i can be in the all of me!
LOVE this Marcia 🙂
Gorgeous Marcia, why not feel the all, love this.
Great line Marcia, it made me smile.
The futility of not being all of who we are, all of the time – beautifully exposed. Thank you, Marcia.
There are actions and behaviours that keep us moving in one of two directions, love or not love. So it is up to us to choose the direction that we want to move, and thus the actions that support this. If love isn’t chosen, there is plenty in the world to encourage this choice.
Very true Matthew, the world is well set up to get us to choose what is not love. We have to very actively choose love.
Well said Matt. They are 2 distinct paths and in each moment we have always the choice to be with one or the other. This is very true that the other is encouraged – especially in our world as it is today. Most things today are there to not only support us to make more loving and true choices but are there to even blind us that these 2 paths and choices clearly exist.
So absolutely true Matthew, we need to choose love or not, and right now the world offers much support to not choose love, so there is a dedication and commitment asked to choose love and it’s up to us to choose that love consistently. We can be more love now or later but ultimately we will be more love – our choice is how and when we choose that love -we are all returning to love, as this (love) is who every one of us innately is, and our choices determine the path we take back to love, and there is no judgement in how each of us chooses. It’s important to understand that right now the world does not support love in the way it could and not to use that as an excuse to not choose it – we can change the world by choosing love rather than wait for the world to be love.
Thank you Matthew for these words, this feels so very true and answers many questions as to why we have so much illness and disease in this world and so many distractions. If it is not love that we choose for ourselves, we are feeding the opposite (what is not love), feeding the out of balance and misery. If we are not actively and consciously choosing the love we are from – we are under the control of the opposite force.
Anxiousness has been one of my companions in life and one I have over the past few years seen less of thanks to great blogs like yours and also to Serge Benhayon and his presentations, so wonderfully revealing and inspiring. Recognising the fear I have lived with and letting go of many old ways and beliefs has been so liberating.
Love this Monica – thank you. “Its all about choice, and that there needs to be a consistency in the choices I make” Consistency is the key. I’ve noticed that if there is no consistency in my day, (with those loving choices) the day is then broken up into sections like had a great morning BUT my afternoon was not flowing well and by the evening quite tired allowing for a much different energy to take hold. In your words Monica “I need to commit to love continually and deeply”. Definitely a work in progress.
The foundation of who we truly are lies in the foundation of Love, so anything else is something we pull in on top of that. To return to the Love of who we are, pushes out all the other stuff, such as anxiety. This then allows us to live more Love and be more Love.
Being loving with ourselves absolutely sets the foundation for all other interactions we have, with ourselves and everyone else!
Beautifully said Robyn, the quality of the relationship we have with ourselves sets the standard of the quality of relationship we have with another.
Monica, what a fabulous blog, thank you, as I have learned quite a bit here with what you have shared. I do indeed identify quite a lot with the less than pleasant emotional energy that comes through me, but I am slowly and steadily seeing myself as love. Your description of loving choices contributing to the consistency of what energy comes through my body makes perfect sense. The more loving I am with myself, the more I can take responsibility for choosing the quality of energy I live with.
When we allow ourselves to feel it all, it is amazing to feel the wisdom that lies within.
‘I am love by being love, absolutely always, no matter what is going on.’ Monica this is an innate consistency and once we feel the truth of it, we are less likely to allow doubt or distraction for they just cover the love that is always there but cannot obliterate it. So, as you say, we have the choice to focus on love or on what is not love and where our focus is will determine what we allow to run our life.
This feels deeply true. I have the tendency to allow distraction, because I think I need to care for everything and evrybody instead of focussing on love and sticking to that which is needed in this moment. The choice of focussing on unemotional love is a learning but makes life much more simple.
We are not immune to emotions such as anger or frustration the key is to live in a way that these no longer affect us. Knowing that these emotions are passing through us all the time and it is a choice whether we take them on or not brings a greater responsibility as to how I live my life. I am learning daily that any thoughts that are not loving are not only affecting me and how I will be with everyone, but also have an affect on everyone else.
This is a great point – the emotions are there and something we all have the choice to express with or not. Supporting ourselves with loving choices makes them less of an option and makes expressing lovingly more of a favoured choice. Another level to this though, is that for when we express from emotions to know that they are not us from our heart. Some misleadingly start thinking that they are the anger or frustration in a labelling way.
I am really digging this blog Monica as it has made me realise that its fine to feel everything, the trick is to just be honest about it.
A clear demonstration of the fact that we can’t compartmentalise life into the bits we like or don’t like – living responsibly and fully engaged means that we get to deal with them all.
Gabriele a great point to reflect on this morning, no matter how much we sometimes think we can “compartmentalise life” the truth is we can’t.
So true Gabriele, we can’t be loving and caring with one person and then be rude and resentful with another, we may like to think that this is ok and that no harm is done but this is not true because whether we accept it or not we are affecting the whole all of the time.
Compartmentalising life so that issues with a person, or a job, or your body can be put to one side (and hopefully ignored) is seen as normal in today’s society. Truthfully there is no such thing as compartmentalising.
Hi Monica, after reading your blog I loved feeling how important and capable we really are to liberate and allow for more space to make more loving choices, instead of contracting ourselves, so only dense diminishing emotions can come through. I have found that great space liberates after deeply and truly acknowledging (exactly as you are sharing here) the big trap berating, judging and feeling regret for ourselves really is. Something we´ve been consistently choosing for whatever ancient reason, and now it is as if we are owned by this fog, which occupies soo much space and clouds our lifes and how we deal with our stuff and experiences in life. It is so good to let these go, release its hold on us and stop being at the mercy of it any more. We definitely get more room to experience feelings and life under a total different light: The Light of our Souls. Thank you… The statement “It is a choice” has stayed with me since I read this.
Wow Monica, I can certainly feel how I have wanted to feel all the warm and loving feelings, but have shut down to my un-favored feelings. This shutting down has cut me off from my relationship with myself, and with others. I no longer want to live in this cocoon of isolation, I want to feel all there is to be felt and learn from it.
Monica I completely agree that we have a choice and a responsibility. I recently realised that it was irresponsible of me to indulge in anxiety and since I have understood that anxiety is an emotion and irresponsible I have stopped giving it energy and experience it a great deal less.
To add to the above on a deeper level I have experienced that anxiety is very often connected to my reaction and thinking that I don’t know how to deal with my increasing awareness. We all feel everything all of the time but have methods to dull ourselves down from what we are feeling because we often imagine we don’t know how to handle it. Since that mechanism became more clear to me I have found it much easier to stop choosing anxiety because why would I on the one hand live a life that is all about becoming more aware and then on the other hand freak out when I do. Now if I feel anxious I simply say to myself great, so what is it that I am aware of that I need to connect deeper to. As soon as I do that I am given whatever understanding is needed.
I love this sentence Nicola ‘Now if I feel anxious I simply say to myself great, so what is it that I am aware of that I need to connect deeper to. As soon as I do that I am given whatever understanding is needed’ it shows that it is all within us if we so choose to go there.
In my experience anxiety is not actually a feeling but an emotion – therefore it is a reaction to a feeling which is quite a different thing. This means that anxiety actually interferes with us truly feeling or being aware of other feelings.
Beautiful Monica this was a joy to read. There is an ease in your writing that shows that this is not words but something you are living. Very inspiring.
“I’ve spent quite a bit of time berating myself for feeling frustrated or anxious, and wanting to feel those things I like, such as appreciation, love or warmth. I now understand these can’t exist without my fully accepting the other feelings exist too.” I can so relate to this Monica…we end up berating ourselves for feeling frustrated etc and then also berate ourselves for not feeling the love, appreciation etc….so we end up going around and around berating! Allowing those feelings to be there, and taking responsibility for why frustration or anxiety is there brings a greater understanding of the games we play – the game is called out, we know how it works and so we can make a different choice next time, and in the process, appreciate ourselves for the new choices.
“So none of us are different or special and each and every one of us has everything available to us – anger, anxiety, frustration, love, joy etc. – but how we live determines what we see or favour.” This is a great equaliser Monica…it brings us all to a level playing field so to speak. It is only through our choice, to either react or respond to these feelings, that makes the difference, and our choice will be based on the quality we choose to live in each moment.
“I would not be where I am today without the work I’ve done to address the anxiousness of how I’ve lived and the changes I’ve since made to be more gentle, tender and loving with me. ” I agree wholeheartedly Monica, and I can share sometimes it feels hard to be in the process but I come out of it always with more joy and love for myself and others.
My head is nodding on that one Kerstinsalzer15, it can feel quite squirmy going through something particularly if another is directly involved at the time, but as the saying goes, better out than in.
I love how you say that by not wanting to see green, you end up blocking out all colours. And by not wanting to feel or see something, you end up blocking everything out. But also by bringing a focus to appreciating myself, and being loving in my life I can bring those things to the foreground.
The more we choose love, the more we are held back by the areas where we don’t choose love – the areas where it is most difficult for us. That is uncomfortable but it needs to be dealt with.
Yes that can be uncomfortable but I am learning that it is very worth it, as staying in the comfort does not evolve me nor others.
Like a mathematical equation or the fact that water seeks its own level – everything gets pulled up by love and to the degree that we live it already or are inspired to live it by another/others.
I can feel when i am with others who make loving choices and how inspiring it is to be around them and how great i feel….i also feel this in my life when I’m feeling very connected and loving, how another is inspired…we can inspire each other to make loving choices and more is needed…there is so much in our world reflecting back to us where loving choices are not made!
‘I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility.’ This line really struck me, I am just learning this but I would totally agree the link between love and responsibility is undeniable. The more love I learn to express, the more responsibility I need to take to ensure my expression and movements are of a certain quality.
Beautiful Meg, I am learning this amazing science too. I realised that it is pretty obvious that when we be-hold more love in our bodies, that this automatically leads to more responsibility. I even found that if I allow this process, it’s unfolding very natural. Only by me allowing my sabotaging strategies to take over, I can delay the process and pretend that I’m not evolving or have evolved where in fact the next step is already waiting.
Thank you Floris for your comment. Your words on self sabotaging strategies to pretend we are not exactly where we are really resonated with me. For me the biggest reaction can be to the fact that there is a new grand evolutionary step ready for me to take, a new expansion. This new step confirms something amazing about me, however my lack of self confirmation in a true relationship with myself is what allows these delaying intrusions. Accepting how truly amazing I am can be the challenge, but accepting my “faults” seems so easy.
Yes Melinda, what a beautiful comment you wrote. I feel more and more how I’m actually setting myself up to sabotage myself. There’s quite a consistency in this I’ve come to realise. Missing myself all along. When things are going well, it is satisfying me and making me ‘lazy’ rather than living in the knowing that the next moment, day, week(s) are even more amazing. Really giving myself permission to choose an intimate relationship with myself is something I’ve only recently starting to choose. There’s so much freedom in it and my whole body feels different when we’re connected all together.
I like how you use the world ‘science’, taking more love and responsibility with our bodies is definitely a science, and every day we can learn more.
Isn’t this the most wonderful science in the world Meg? A science that is forever (!!) evolving and expanding. Simply because energy moves and can’t stop moving. So there’s no need for perfectionism, in fact this is – in Truth – an illusion.
That link between love and responsibility I find is always changing and at times that gets mighty uncomfortable as the more loving I become the more I can see my irresponsibility and then I’m presented with a choice to deepen my love further and address the irresponsibility I see or to stay in the irresponsibility – it really never stops and while at times challenging it’s a beautiful thing as we have this constant pull up to be ever more the love we are and responsibility is a key part of that.
Yes, practically speaking I’ve noticed that often when I can feel my love has deepened it takes a little period of adjustment for my actions to meet this love in responsibility. And also I’ve noticed that if I don’t raise my responsibility to equal the love I’m feeling, the love gradually drops back down to the lower level of responsibility – if that makes sense!
Meg, that’s exactly it, as we feel more love, we start to see those areas which are not love and there’s a period where things change, and we need to adjust – effectively we feel a call or pull to live more the love we’ve connected to and if we do not do so, we do indeed slide back. There is a responsibility to heed the call of love, to make that our intention and focus. We are continually pulled up to be more love and to express that in the world and it’s important to remember that this constant pull involves adjustment with us and a learning how that needs to apply in our lives in a real and practical way. We need time to learn how to express, explore and play with it, and as we do that expression of love naturally expands – it really is always evolving, and as we learn to live more love, responsibility is it’s needed and natural companion.
“So if I live in a way that constantly berates myself and others, how can I grasp the possibility of being loving towards another, rather than angry, if I have not lived lovingly in my day to day life?” How true that is Monica, quite profound. So we have a great responsibility to be living our day to day lives regarding ourselves and all others in a loving manner, not berating ourselves up for our mistakes and slip-ups, being patient with ourselves and others, and nurturing ourselves to the best of our ability. Then I am less likely to be drawn to non-loving behaviour when situations are presented that may make me feel anxious or judgmental.
When I read your words Monica I could feel energy passing through my body just as you describe. The way you illustrate the power of our choices reminds me how we actually choose the quality of our life. This is very simple, humbling and liberating to read today.
Thank you Monica, I love what you have shared here for us all , the more we build a foundation of love within ourselves by the way we live the more we can stop the oscillation from the true nature of who we are and just feel what’s there to be felt.
I can really feel the stability of living that quality of love and what is not there dropping away Francisco. So beautiful, just the responsibility of feeling what is there to be felt and not being invested in it being another way.
I love the fact that we can build our “foundation of love”. This gives us the platform to live a joyful and responsible life, the hiding is over.
So clear and true, we are love. Thank you Monica, it is such a beautiful confirmation of the choices we can make and the joy and love we can have in our lives.
Monica I really appreciate your analogy of a short/long fuse and how I live affects how long the fuse is. That no-one is any different to another, just we make different choices on how we live. Some are very aware of the fuse and their responsibility to live in a way that the fuse doesn’t get lit. This has made we are all equal, which I feel, even more tangible; and the responsibility of making responsible choices.
‘someone who has mastered a way of living where they have more love and joy in their lives is neither immune to anger, nor lacks access to it – they do – but how they live means they are less likely to give attention and focus to it.’ Absolutely, it is how we live that shapes our attitude to life and we have total mastery over this although most of us do not want to admit this and accept the responsibility it brings.
‘There is a responsibility here: the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving… I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility.’ I have found the more honest I am with myself the more able I am to feel the love that I have from inside, and that brings more responsibility to live my life from my own truth.
Me too Sally, and the more honest I am with myself the more I can feel what IS love and what is NOT love, therefore the responsibility comes in to express what IS love in every moment knowing full well how harmful it is to do the opposite.
It is when we are feeling these in our body that we can really make changes and choose to continue to feel lovely and warm in our lives more and more.
Thank you Monica for so simply expressing that through developing awareness we become more aware of the choices we have and by doing so we can empower our lives to make it harmonious and loving for ourselves and others.
Exactly Johnathon. Just knowing we have a choice in any moment is empowering. It then becomes a very simple choice – responsibility or irresponsibility.
That’s true Vicky – in every moment we make a choice, i.e. we can empower ourselves by making more loving choices. There is no excuse any more, to stay in a victim role or other roles. It is in our hands to decide, there is nobody to blame.
Sometimes I know I have got frustrated also about an ongoing issue or behaviour pattern that I would like to change but it seems very ingrained or dominant. It is easy to look at the whole thing and feel like it is too big to overcome. But I have been inspired by many esoteric practitioners and students alike to consider that if I want to change something big in my life how about I just start with the moment that is in front of me and choose love in that moment, and then the next…and next. It is super simple.
Monica your blog well and truly dispels the myth that there is a magical land of Nirvana that we all eventually reach where we are immune to negative emotions and we can sit back and relax in our blissful achieved state. There is no one choice to be made but an continual ongoing series of choices between love and something else in every moment which becomes our livingness. The more we choose love in our life the stronger the momentum of love becomes and so in effect in becomes more of an effort to choose something else because the default is love. If it is the other way around and our momentum in life is not loving then that is our default and so it seems easier at least at first to stay in this rather than choosing love. This can be broken down little by little, step by step – a marathon as you say rather than a quick fix or a sprint.
Well said Andrew – it is an ongoing process and our responsibility is to build a loving momentum. The more we choose love, the easier we can come back to love, when we have lost it.
Monika this is a beautiful inspiring blog and really shows the importance of making loving choices in the way we live and the more this opens us up to more love in our bodies and the more healing and awareness from there that is possible. To be open to feeling everything takes away the anxiousness and allows an honesty, simplicity and appreciation to come through with consistency. Thank you for this great reflection.
Monica thank you for describing a way of being that supports us to be the love that we are, and that we all have the same challenges it really just comes down to how we choose to be with ourselves moment to moment to how we deal with that fact. By making love the primary focus, one’s vision becomes broader and deeper coupled with a greater understanding of life that supports that love to be lived, even through those rough patches.
I was finding myself swinging between self-doubts stemming from every corner trying to find some landing space, and the only thing that got me out of it is to go back to bring self-love. Building self-love anchors me into knowing my love, and that puts me in a space where I can look at/underneath the unfavoured feelings without indulgence or being hard on myself.
Being hard on ourselves is an indulgence once you are awakened to the truth of self-love. Thank goodness for Serge Benhayon for having the consistency of self-love that is a role model for everyone.
Feeling is key. The trick seems to be to let yourself feel everything, but let it pass through you rather than seizing upon it. Reading what is really going on in any given situation is a huge support too. This releases us from reacting to that which we’ve felt.
Yes Victoria I once heard someone describe ‘feeling something with acceptance’ as being a net that allows things to pass through and registers how they feel but if we react to what we are feeling then we allow it to get caught in the net, rather than it passing through.
I like the colour-blindness analogy. I’ve felt this myself in small measures in the past and seen it much more markedly in people with chronic depression – the world is very grey and flat when you don’t feel anything at all. Stop feeling one thing and eventually the colour drains from all.
I agree Victoria and know the feeling! The re-ignition process beings with seeing the spark of colour within us first, which then allows us to recognise the spark of colour in everyone and everything around.
“There is a responsibility here: the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving”… an on-going work in progress indeed for us all.
A beautiful blog Monika presenting to us so much wisdom, thank you.
The other great thing is even though how we handle being in the world is an individual matter, we are not alone – there are people who can help us as we go, Universal Medicine being one such group with a firm grasp of the dynamics at play and a raft of super-supportive tools on which to draw such as the audio presentation Monica referred to and many remarkable modalities.
Just as we are equal in that energy is passing through all of us, we all have the same support available when we align to the fact we all come from love.
There’s also a great sense of equalness here – no one is any less immune to what can be felt and no one more so. It’s simply how we handle it at the individual level. A robust sense of connection to self and others is called for here.
Yes Victoria ‘There’s also a great sense of equalises here – no one is any less immune to what can be felt and on one more so’ it is the making of the choices of how we want to live and what we do with what we feel. Anxiety, frustration and all the gamut of emotions can govern our lives and in that we feel we have no choice, that is the deception. When we are making loving choices we actually feel we can be with whatever is presented to us. We are all the same within.
One of the things I love about this article is that it makes very clear that we are all ‘in it’ – all in this giant World Wide Web we call life on planet Earth. What we do or feel here will be felt there. Given some pretty heinous things happen in the world, it makes great sense to develop the self-solidity Monica speaks of: even lesser feelings and deeds impact us, as has been described.
If we really knew how our responsibility to be loving affected everyone on the planet, we might get our loveless choices under the microscope more quickly, for we would know it is not only ourselves we are harming, but everyone else.
It does indeed bring a greater level of responsibility when we understand that energy is passing through us all the time. So every action movement and behaviour can impact another if not in the quality of love that we are.
Heather to see our loveless choices more quickly under the microscope or to feel it in our bodies through illness und disease – I am sure a lot of us would change these loveless choices instantly.
We are all swimming in the same ocean Victoria. That is what I felt as I read your comment, after Monica’s blog. That ocean contains everything, every quality from the deepest of rage and vengeful fury, to the purest of Love that is without emotional taint. It is the way we swim that determines the quality we express.
What I love about life is that we are truly all equal – all capable of horrific behaviour or the most Heaven inspired beauty. The differentiating factor is not in our essence, but in the choice of what we align to.
This is free-will.
This certainly removes any sense of judgement. How can we judge when we are all the same vehicles of expression, simply aligning to one energy or the other? We are all indeed capable of the same things, very humbling.
It is humbling Melinda and as you have so simply said, the perfect antidote to judgement. It takes the personal aspect out of bad behaviour (our own as well as others) but it also heightens responsibility (our own as well as others!!). Are we adding to the poison in the ocean we all swim in? Or are we choosing to express from the only source that can clear its pollution?
It doesn’t matter how gently we try and sneak into a swimming pool the ripples can be seen and felt right across the pool. As we know “Everything is energy, therefore everything is because of energy” Serge Benhayon. We feel it all what we do with it is or choice we are free to choose the energy we align to.
Very beautiful analogy Margaret.
So true Victoria – we all live in a big world wide web, everything is connected. It is not only about what we feel in our body, it is equally important to know what is going on around us. And every choice I make affects other people.
Amazing Monica – yet again your words and your expression have touched me to the core and they’re so spot on and so powerful. I love the way you get to the heart of the matter and your final sentence “Words cannot adequately describe the appreciation I feel for Serge Benhayon, the Benhayon family and the various practitioners who’ve shown me that I am love by being love, absolutely always, no matter what is going on” brings a lump in my throat. Magic – thank you.
I know Michael I too feel that massive appreciation and love when it is expressed by others… it is magic
I agree Michael and Vanessa. That we are love ‘…absolutely always, no matter what is going on’ has made a monumental shift in the foundation of who I am. Knowing this from deep within has supported me to return so much more easily when I step away from love. Thank you Monica for your wisdom here.
Monika, I love this line “It’s an on-going process, not one with any destination – love begets more love.” It’s my new favorite quote.
Love your sharing Monica. So much to take in so I will be returning to this blog again.
It is hey Roslyn. I’ll be returning also as it is so beautiful. To me, it makes us all completely equal.
Great explanation of the choice between love and anxious Monica. I loved reading it. And yes, i agree, when you live with focus being more on love, there would naturally be less focus or room for anything that is the complete opposite of it.
I realized the other day, how much I was focussing again on all the feelings in my body, which I’m not. Terrible. I was so used to indulge in all the bad feelings. These days I become more aware of what I’m identified with. This gives me the possibility to make a choice – do I want to continue with this or do I want to make a loving choice and come back, what I truly am – love.
‘… if we’re living in a way which is taking care of ourselves, in whatever small steps they may be, we have more space and possibility to make more loving choices, rather than choosing anger, frustration or anxiety.’ This is such a key statement – we think telling ourselves off or ‘trying to be better’ or trying to stop feeling will solve our issues but it doesn’t, these behaviours are totally unloving and only serve to drain our energy, whereas taking small steps to be tender and loving with ourselves soon leads to greater love and self confidence.
Yes, Carmel, the key is to be willing to take the necessary small steps to be tender and loving with ourselves, not put huge expectations on ourselves that we are going to be perfect overnight. That way we can consistently increase our love and self confidence in ourselves. We just have to be patient and work steadily at it, not be thrown by the set-backs that may appear, not get judgmental of ourselves or of others. Consistency in our efforts is paramount.
Yes Carmel it is key to not berate ourselves it is just abuse pure and simple, which is felt by all as Monica shared in her blog also. I am often shocked at how cruel we will speak to ourselves and it is normalised yet this is having an impact on everything and everyone. Imagine if we all became more tender with ourselves what impact this will have!
To me very often if I bring in understanding I can have a huge shift and sometimes just jump out of the game. With the understanding that anxiety is an emotion, irresponsible, a way of my rejecting God (awareness) and cutting myself off from what I am feeling it completely changed things for me. I still get anxious at times, but seeing it for what it is has cut some hold that I had given it over such that now it is a great deal more simple and accessible for me to make a different choice. Now when I feel anxious I am often able to take it as an opportunity to connect deeper and bring more awareness to what I am feeling and not less.
Beautifully said Nicola… ‘I still get anxious at times, but seeing it for what it is has cut some hold that I had given it over such that now it is a great deal more simple and accessible for me to make a different choice. Now when I feel anxious I am often able to take it as an opportunity to connect deeper and bring more awareness to what I am feeling and not less.’ Your comment brings a level of responsibility back to never accept anything less than love in ourselves, and that there is no justification for shrinking, or playing less in any way.
Yes, I agree Jenny, it is incredibly liberating, powerful, joyful and makes things very simple to not accept anything less than love. Not accepting anything less than love does not contain any imposition or judgement as that would be less than love!!!
Not accepting less than love is also not about perfection as striving for perfection is not loving either!
I love your approach Nicola, when you feel anxious. You take it as an opportunity to connect deeper with yourself. Excellent !
Good point Carmel, the slightest desire to berate ourselves is not self loving and only serves to keep us less, and like you say drains our energy. I find that the tone of the inner voice I use is very important and to feel the hardness of the thoughts, because even those may be reduced in intensity can still be unloving.
Yes Carmel that is also my experience if I keep on bashing myself my body stays contracted and hard – it is the same feeling as fighting against someone. If I am taking this wonderful small steps to be tender and loving with me my whole body changes – it is than more expanded and softer and with that I am less exhausted.
We are given the choice with every expression, which choice do we make? I am learning that knowing we can choose love and choosing it builds our foundation and becomes our way of living. The old non loving ways still lurk in the background checking my consistency so the awareness of this is all important to keep re-choosing love constantly.
The more aware we become the more we can master ourselves.
Yes Kate, awareness is the first step, then comes our responding choice to address what we have become aware of and on and on it goes until we master our wily spirits.
So simple and so true Kate, we just need to choose and keep saying yes to it.
Awareness of energy and its impact on us is something we need to teach our young children. I am still a child in the development of this understanding, but how wonderful a path it is to be continually expanding my awareness rather than stuck at the mercy of my unloving choices.
Anxiety is a reaction to and rejection of our awareness.
I agree Kate, the name of the game is awareness and the more we choose to be aware of everything within us and around us the more we empower ourselves to make choices that evolve us.
Love the simplicity here Kate, and the more we can support ourselves to feel and bring this awareness the stronger it is. When we let go of things that alter our state of being then we have a true point in our bodies to be open to feel what is there to be felt. Clarity is birth place for true awareness.
Absolutley Gill. Being aware is the first and necessary step in order to instigate change. And the more aware we become, the more we get to know who we truly are..
Choosing love sounds so simple, to live by and love by, yet we make it so very complicated. We have to re-learn how to be what is natural to us, sounds absurd doesn’t it. But now we are on a path to return, many are and others will follow in time.
Gill, you remind me on the topic consistency. It is so important to consistently choose love. In this way, we don’t leave a door open, to allow other energies to come into the body.
Alexander, so great to read this comment and it’s very true, if we don’t consistently choose love we’re saying doors open to anything other than love and there’s so much of that in the world around us, so at that point it just becomes choose your poison any one. It’s love or not.
So true – every moment we have a choice, and if we are not choosing that moment to be of quality – then what are we choosing?
Beautiful Monica – ‘love begets more love.’ What a wonderful thing to be reminded of as I go into my day.
So true Jane and Monica, it is amazing how one loving choice leads onto the next, even though the 1st one may seem hard the more consistent we become with choosing love the more natural and common sense making loving choices become, so much so that things I used to do now seem very alien and harming such as drinking alcohol, eating junk food, spending hours on end watching tv, etc.. etc..!
I agree James. At first the self doubt can drop in because loving choices seem very alien but it is so worth persevering with this as those loving choices become more and more the norm whilst the not so loving ones begin to stand out like sore thumbs
What we then perceive as being normal then changes. Just like for me it was ‘normal’ to drink alcohol, eat junk food etc.. but I know see this as not being normal or good for my body even though I once considered it ‘normal’ because most people around me lived like this.
Monica, you’ve made some great observations. As humans are connected in everyway, we share the same powers and frailties. I have always been aware of an invisible thin thread that separates mental health from mental ill-health, balance from imbalance. And however well we’ve been living, when something happens unexpectedly we can get close to the line. With love in our body it is possible to see what’s happening much more quickly and make choices to bring ourselves back. Being aware of the thin thread is an antidote to complacency and comfort.
Fantastic comment kehinde2012, being humble about our delicate nature and the reality of that thin line we can be inspired to consistently make choices that support one to be true.
Kehinde2012 this is a great comment that is about respecting the fragility of each human life. Not only do unloving choices put pressure on our own body, but they can put pressure on everybody.
Absolutely Melinda, true responsibility is understanding the relationship we have with every other human being. When we love and care for ourselves, this same quality can be shared with everyone else.
So true Melinda, this is the deeper responsibility not only for ourselves but for all others. I want to take more awareness about this into my life.
Such a beautiful and astute comment Kehinde, this is something I often heard as a child that there is a fine line between genius and madness, or as you say balance from imbalance, and yes it’s very easy to get close to that line when something happens unexpectedly. Living in a way that deepens the basin of love we are, allows a finer tuning of our antennae so that we see and see when we are not ourselves so much, we can come back, it keeps us very real and very connected to who we truly are and provides a living way to stay connected to ourselves and everyone around us.
Monica, yesterday I listened to a radio phone-in programme about this very same topic. People rang in and shared experiences of ‘crossing the thin line’, descending into a dark place, and what it took to bring themselves back. As you say living in a way that fine tunes our antennae keeps us very connected to who we truly are and everyone else. This makes it easier to spot the signs of losing ourselves earlier and bring ourselves back.
Yes it does and reading what you’ve added here Kehinde I can feel how those moments when I lose it are not to be feared, so much as a marker to say ‘oops’ where are you? And the responsibility at that moment is to come back to ourselves simply by connecting to our body and breath and being honest about where we are and how we feel.
I agree Monica, being able to observe ourselves in those moments without fear strengthens us to make the next choice and re-connect ‘to body and breath.’ Understanding what is happening and why while staying connected is the way I steady myself and feel what is true. I note again how one phone-in programme continues to focus on ‘what happens when we lose it’. There is a desire out there to understand more about the body and why we experience overwhelm.
So true Kehinde – love will expose everything in our body, what is not love. And the more love we have, the more we can heal in our body.
The thin line is as you say is our life line between loosing or knowing ourselves, and it comes with the responsibility of awareness to be ever vigilant in choosing which side of the lines we are on … love or not love.
“I am love and any moments where this has not been lived are to be addressed so I can be even more the love I am.” When I read this there can be no excuses to not look at what is arising as knowing we are love is all that matters and blows away anything else we are trying to create and hang onto. This is a great reminder Monica, thank you.
These words on the surface seem so simple: “the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving”, but the lived wisdom that pours out of them cannot but change your way of being. In fact sometimes the accumulation of what is not loving can be overwhelming unless you make the next choice about love, then you have the opportunity to observe what the loveless-ness feels like and to release it, instead of absorbing it and making it who you are.
This blog is so true. The key to life is being willing to feel all of it.
Through the willingness to feel, we can truly begin to see that which is not loving for us, and make a choice to live another way.
Yes Adam, it is easy to segment our lives and feel parts of it and yet not choose to feel the whole. Through choosing to feel all of it we hold the keys to life.
Yes Donna, otherwise we spend a lot of energy trying to attract what we like or avoid what we don’t want and with this control we miss the beauty of just being ourselves no matter what is happening around us. By allowing ourselves to feel everything without reacting to what we are feeling we connect with the harmony and flow of life and we flow with it rather than bump up against it.
I am just starting to wrap my head around this one (the body does not need to as it feels all of it all the time). We are feeling it but we dont often allow ourselves to feel it. I spent a couple of hours the other day avoiding something and then gently offered myself the space to feel it, I did, I expressed what was there to be felt and moved on. It took 5 minutes! Resistance is futile. It just puts off the inevitable. :-).
Sarah, that’s the funny thing we can spend ages running around not feeling things and get ourselves into serious contortions as we do, and when we stop and just feel what is there and just express what might be there to be said, it’s done and we move on. Something I am still learning more each day, and the biggest thing of all is not to judge where is there to be felt but just to feel it and be willing to be honest about my part in it. There’s a gorgeous blog about out there and in here http://truthaboutuniversalmedicine.com, which offers us something key that anything out there is merely a reflection for us to consider and feel what is in here in me – it’s just showing me more ways to be more loving in my day to day. Reading this has taken a lot of the sting of out there away for me as I realised that all it offers is an opportunity to see and be more love.
Sarah this is so true. “Resistance is futile. It just puts off the inevitable.” Everything will come back to us eventually for us to deal with, so we may as well just deal with our stuff and move on. But even though I know this I will do everything I can to avoid doing this at times. However I also know that the more I choose love, the easier these situations become to deal with.
This is my experience to Sarah, we can spend hours, days or even years not wanting to feel something, but when we stop and do, there might be a feeling of un-comfortableness or intensity, but then it can be over within a very short time, leaving us feeling clearer and ready and free to move on in life.
Absolutely Adam. And this means that not feeling all of it is not only a convenient lie but also an excuse to not be love in full.
Such a joy and inspiration to read your blog Monica – thank you. When I read “The more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving” Of late I realised there were ‘pockets’ in my life that either ran smoothly, for the most I was committing to more self loving choices then, there were these ‘hazy’ areas where I’d slip into frustration and anxiousness. So instead of beating myself up that loving/solid foundation which is gently building, I felt held understanding/feeling that all it takes is a moment to still myself and use those ‘pockets’ to learn and move forwards. Instead of gathering into a momentum of old habits which sustained a constant unsettled, frustrated there’s more to life than this attitude.
Exactly I have a lot to learn of how to be with the not loving parts of my life but it is no mystery of how to be with it, more a choice to be dedicated to love rather than focussed on what is going wrong.
So true Vanessa, no need to indulge around what is wrong or not true, choose to appreciate what is true.
I’ve spent a lot of time dedicating myself to focusing on issues, the “what is wrong”, and the “fixing” of these things instead of dedicating myself to love. A great way to turn it around.
You have nailed it here Vanessa. So simple and true. Our dedication to love allows what is not true to be seen and cleared much more graciously.
Yes Vicky and Vanessa, it’s that simple ‘being dedicated to love’ and not to what is wrong – great to be reminded.
I agree Vanessa, too often there is a focus and almost drowning affect on the ‘negative’ so to speak, instead of making kind and self loving choices as the focus, which in turn takes care of the not so loving parts…
The choice to be loving happens every minute it seems, and the more the choice is love over disregard, or pretending something isn’t there, the easier it is to choose love.
I’ve felt the same Vanessa. Now I view not loving parts as just that “not loving” and have noticed that when I don’t invest in them there is an opportunity to bring more understanding and love to the situation instead.
Me too Vanessa – my parts, which are not love, are challenging me very often. For me it is important to find the root cause of it. Why do I still allow these thoughts and feelings in my body ? What do I get out of it ? For me it is an ongoing process and every day I’m learning more about myself.
I know this too! It’s easy to focus on what is going wrong, but by simply flipping it around to dedicate that same attention to being more loving instead is a life-changer.
One of our greatest strengths as people is the ability to feel everything, and this for me has come with experience. As I have allowed more and more for myself to remain aware throughout the day I find that I am feeling the different qualities of energy that are present in the many different situations I encounter and, some of these qualities are very unpleasant and it can at times take a lot for me to remain as my initial reaction would be to become dull in my body. However, the strength that comes with this growing awareness means that each person I am in every situation with, has a person there who is not enjoining the energy and therefore is a reflection for a different way, even if they do not choose it themselves, the reflection is there for them.
I really enjoyed reading your blog Monica…..it all comes back to our choices and choosing the love that we are. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you Monica. I love this line –”And it’s that solidity that allows me to address the feelings that come up when I get frustrated or anxious; less and less from a place of being wrong and more from an understanding that I am love and any moments where this has not been lived are to be addressed so I can be even more the love I am”. Imagine if we were taught this when we were young? Today a lot of people are seeking relief and distraction from how they are feeling within themselves about themselves and about life in general. This does not work as eventually what we have buried within our body has to be brought to the surface and healed. Avoiding what we are feeling, being judgmental and harsh on ourselves cannot and will never work. Let’s face it; most of us have tried it! What you are presenting here Monica about coming to know that we are love first and foremost and from that place bringing understanding does actually work. This is a proven fact as many people who have studied with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine are living like this now and seeing the enormous changes that it brings.
Yes so very true Elizabeth and when we can bring that understanding from a place of love to ourselves we are more able to bring that very same understanding to all others. Understanding cuts judgment out of the picture. Judgment keeps us bound while understanding cuts the through the binding and allows us to make different choices.
“someone who has mastered a way of living where they have more love and joy in their lives is neither immune to anger, nor lacks access to it – they do – but how they live means they are less likely to give attention and focus to it.” This is very humbling Monica.
I love your honesty Shirley-Ann. I’d put myself in the same boat as be one who finds ‘standing up for truth and risking conflict’ incredibly challenging. I made a big investment into being ‘nice’ so to find myself in the position of being a target of someone’s anger, resentment etc. when I do stand up for truth and ruffle feathers, is something I’m gradually becoming more accustomed to and letting go of the need to be liked. It’s hard but every time I fall flat on my face or have a reaction in myself to the reactions I get around me, the more my neediness is exposed and in that I have the opportunity to let it go and make a different choice.
Beautifully said Brendan – I love the simplicity you offer here. To me this says that complication is taken out of issues when we are not immersed in them but feeling them as the observer looking out from a foundation of love.
‘There is a responsibility here: the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving…’ This is a great reminder Monica and a fact that I regularly lack attention with – like when something comes up that doesn’t feel like me or like love I get disgruntled and react to myself for feeling this way. ‘But I’ve been so loving with myself, I must be doing something wrong’ – that thought often comes in to deter me from understanding that love has increased in my body and now I must apply it to all areas that are not equal to that expression within. I am starting to see these feelings as confirmations and not as downfalls or setbacks.
The beauty in your words is tangible Monica. I awoke this morning feeling uncommitted and resistant, but after reading this blog I know there is a choice and I have not signed a contract that I must feel like this. So the choice is to either sit in this feeling, mope and continue to move in a way that confirms this feeling – or stop and feel it for what it is and then continue to commit to the love I am through moving tenderly and purposefully. Even just by starting that dialogue with myself is lifting the heaviness I woke in.
Yes Rachel I can so relate to mornings like this and it is great to start the dialogue with oneself when this is the case as I have begun to realise that the reason I am feeling this way is because there is something that I am avoiding feeling and dialoguing can be a good way of getting to the bottom of it.
Agreed Marika, ultimately it is all about choice to live from the impulse of our hearts or our heads.
The more we commit to make life about love for ourselves and others the more consistency there is that allows us to break away from those patterns and behaviours where we have played small and for us to embrace and accept who we truly are. Thank you Monica.
Beautiful blog with so much love and truth in balance and really stunning comments from so many, showing just how this blog is in tune with where many regular commenters are at – making the choices to be love and let go more and more of the hurts that keep us choosing from the pool of emotions that is always there available to us. Reading this blog is great inspiration to me about choosing love because that is who we are and not something based on what others are choosing.
Yes Simon, I am loving the comments and how people are sharing their experiences of this and how much we all understand this, and know the power of choice. It’s super inspiring to read.
I have noticed when I allow these unwanted feelings to pass through me, they do exactly that and then they go. When I resist and react to them they get stuck in my body. If I feel them, without attaching and don’t identify with them, they are very quickly gone.
Yes, Nikki, it makes all the difference when we don’t identify with whatever emotion or reaction is passing through, but simply stay connected to the body.
Yes when we react Nikki, we grab onto those feelings passing through and then we’re in a whirlwind and we spend time and effort trying to undo that. Yet if we catch our initial reaction and understand what in us that led to the reaction we can drop that and each and every time we do this, we learn more and more to stand in our own strength, to more clearly discern what we are aligning to and to actively choose what is most loving and supportive for us.
Absolutely exquisite. A heart-felt piece of writing Monica – thank you. You speak for many people with what you have written.
Thank you for a great blog Monica, i really loved your words,” And it’s that solidity that allows me to address the feelings that come up when I get frustrated or anxious; less and less from a place of being wrong and more from an understanding that I am love.”
” I just need to commit to love, continually and deeply.”thank you Monica, I really appreciated your blog, it opened up more understanding for me, I have found more and more lately I am confronted by those emotions and feeling, that I have rejected feeling, because they were not considered in the “good” basket.It is amazing that we have all these feeling passing through us all the time, and that it is our commitment to love that allows us to choose.
I agree Jill. To be the observer of emotions and feelings passing through and accept this is as natural, stops us from berating ourself. As Monica and yourself confirm, it is our commitment to love, that supports us to choose whether or not to react or attach to them.
“If we’re living in a way which is taking care of ourselves, in whatever small steps they may be, we have more space and possibility to make more loving choices, rather than choosing anger, frustration or anxiety.” I love this sentence Monica it makes so much sense – time for me today to bring in some extra self care!
Monica as you have seen “…berating myself for feeling frustrated or anxious” just brings in more of the same energy. When we realize that it is not us we start to see how we have chosen this energy which compounds the unloving behavior. It’s lovely to read how you started to act “less and less from a place of being wrong and more from an understanding that I am love”. By focusing on love, the not-love cannot take root in us.
Having woken up this morning feeling a little overwhelmed in all I need to ‘do’ reading your blog Monica has brought me back to reminding me it is all a choice to feel anxious or not and a choice we can change at any moment. Your words are really real and offer the reader a chance to stop a reflect – which is exactly what Im doing now! Thank you Monica – great article.
Accepting that we can feel everything all of the time and have the power to choose what we allow is one thing. Accepting that everyone else can do this too and therefore can feel all the choices we make is another! It is all very exposing and highlights the importance of responsibility in each moment, not just for ourselves but for everyone else too. And it is understandable why we may want to numb ourselves from this!
‘So none of us are different or special and each and every one of us has everything available to us – anger, anxiety, frustration, love, joy etc. – but how we live determines what we see or favour.’ You show us here how comparison and jealousy are not true in the sense that everything has to do with the choices we have made and to compare is just a way to avoid feeling that our own choices in the past were less loving than what we see in another person. We choose the quality we live in, that’s the responsibility we all have.
If everything passes through our body, then we have the capacity to choose what we filter through it. When we have lived without self care, nurturing and love, it is a real life changing moment when we start to love ourselves again.
‘Choose love’ – I have heard it many many times, and also that choice being constant, but there’s something about the way you have presented that has made it very real for me. I have taken it very literal, very blunt and very simple – to choose love just for this minute/second if that is all I can muster, and just repeat that, every minute/second if that is how often I have to do it. And this really is supporting me to know my love at a deeper level. Thank you, Monica.
I love Monika how you have articulated something I have been feeling recently but found hard to explain as it is a sense of something. It is the sense that my body feels like two parts – the deep loving part of me which is my soul, essence love and power, and another part which participates in behaviours and thoughts that don’t align with the loving part. In this I can feel how super simple everything I do is a choice – but now I am more connected to my soul, love and essence, I berate myself less, observe the choice chosen from the less loving part of me and know that next time round there is an opportunity for another choice to be made. And this is my journey. And the balance and ratio of living from the loving part of me is becoming greater and greater. Everything now simply feels like my full responsibility in making simple choices. Thank you Monika.
Hi Monica, I love the analogy of the colours and choosing to see all colours or no colours we can’t choose to see some and its the same with how we live, we can’t choose to feel appreciation but not anxiousness. This just makes so much sense!
I liked that analogy also Judy. The difference is we can choose not to indulge and absorb it also. It makes sense that we are feeling everything all of the time, it becomes quite evident when we want to try and not feel certain things too- our behaviors say it all.
You have just reminded me of the power of choice by sharing this beautiful blog. Choosing love over everything else feels true. The power of doing just that is reflected by Serge Benhayon and his family.Thank you for sharing.
‘deep in me there is an essence, a purity if you will, a love that never leaves and is never tainted.’ So true – and no matter what other feelings present, they cannot change the truth of this essence any more than a cloud can change the warmth and light of the sun.
I love what you share here Monica about the need to ‘commit to love continually and deeply’. Yes, if we want more love in our lives then we have to commit to it, live it and be it. There is no other way and expressions such as yours here in this blog are a lovely example.
Awesome blog Monica. Its science in the body. “but how they live allows them to more clearly see the loving choice”. This is true and what you call responsibility. If you choose to allow abuse and not allow yourself to feel your qualities your life will be abuse. What is so amazing about this, if you choose to just focus on one quality throughout your day it is enough to change everything about your day and bring purpose to it.
“I am love and any moments where this has not been lived are to be addressed so I can be even more the love I am.” This is great to be reminded and confirmed I am love, and when I am not living it, it’s an opportunity to look at why and bring love to it, every moment of life should be lived with love that is the foundation I am working on, so always looking at bringing love to my moments.
Changing our understanding of ourselves is massive because a great part of our uneasiness with ourselves was due to the fact that we were trapped in an understanding of ourselves that was not true. Liberating ourselves from it was key to start walking a new path of relation to ourselves.
Being able to observe without taking anything on allows us the space to take that little step back from any situation; be it a discussion with your partner or a work colleague as we have a greater capacity to understand another or a situation if we are not embroiled.
I too have been learning how powerful and freeing taking that step back is Kathleen. It simply allows you the space to observe and from there to feel into the truth of the situation, instead of being caught up in the emotion.
Katie, I would not be able to write this without the understanding I’ve had from meeting and knowing Serge Benhayon and his family; what he lives and shares is gorgeous, very simple and obvious but until I saw it, felt it and heard it I did not even consider it as possible for me – he made it real, tangible and sets the living example of how it is and through this I learned to live love too, it’s ever-growing, but I can’t even imagine right now where my life would be without Serge’s example and inspiration. And the beautiful thing as I write this is I feel no less, one of the biggest gifts he has brought to many of us is the knowing that we are capable of living love in the same way he has, that we are not broken or at the mercy of the world, we have a choice. And we are beings of love always.
Monica writes with a great understanding and she is without the need to be wrong or judgemental of herself. There is clearly a depths of personal acceptance here which has lead her to be able to see the world differently, with more of an open heart because that tender acceptance has become part of what she looks out on to the world with. This makes Monica a genuine shining light in our world, someone who stands out as different, but actually she is just being very loving.
It’s beautiful and empowering that life what we know it to be is because of our choices.
I am loving this too Suzanne. We can now be in charge of our destinies.
‘The more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving’ Very true. There really is no place to hide, because we feel everything so we know when we’re not being loving or not receiving love. I do agree that we ‘cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility.’ But that responsibility doesn’t have to be burdensome like a heavy duty chore. Responsibility, when we take it, is massively confirming of who we are, where we’ve been and who we’re now becoming – and in this way, it’s actually a joy. Yes – responsibility a joy. Who’d have thought it?!
Yes Cathy, responsibility is a joy because it asks us to be our self and to be our self is to be love!
and it asks us to be with others to. Something super beautiful.
I agree Emily being our self with others is ‘super beautiful’.
Cathy, I love how you’ve taken responsibility and stated the joy that comes with it, because there is a freedom and a joy when we’re responsible, we are us. Oddly we’ve been taught responsibility is a chore when it’s not, and so we can often feel burdened by it, but true responsibility is not that at all, it’s a loving pull up to say ‘heh you’re love, remember and this is how love is’, and yes that may require changes in how we operate and are but the fullness, joy and freedom this offers has no compare, and is very worth embracing – now who wouldn’t want that?
When we are taking more responsibility we are living more from who we truly are, and there is a huge amount of joy when we live in this way.
Absolutely Cathy, well said: responsibility is a joy! What I am having to watch for myself at the moment is my deepening of patience and understanding with others and where they are at because of the their choices. I am learning to not feel frustrated or impatient when I see others playing the blame game that life just happens and throws terrible things at them. In this, my love and appreciation of Serge Benhayon’s patience continually expands as he holds zero judgment – just absolute true love.
I love the simplicity in what you have shared about everything being available to us and it being as simple as just choosing another way… and the ease of that being dependent on the quality in which we choose to live.
It’s a smorgasbord and we are the ones who chose what we take. If we’ve eaten sugar and bad foods it is much easier to do more of the same. But if we have been taking care of ourselves we are far more able to do what feels better for our bodies.
By seeing it as a choice, it gives so much power back – it is within me to chose to live, slowly slowly in a way that leads me to no longer experience so much anxiousness. I don’t not have to feel at the mercy of it or unable to prevent myself from feeling it – instead being open and honest and working towards chasing something different.
“I can choose to be tender in how I am with me in any moment and so increasingly my choices are more loving for me and with others.” It is so beautiful when we choose to be more loving with ourselves…our bodies soak it up, like saying ‘at last we are being loved!’
And others can’t help but feel those loving choices, those loving changes, even before we speak. They will choose to be inspired or not – that is up to them…their choice.
Reading your blog this morning has been so confirming – thank you Monica…”Having this understanding has inspired me to see that I am not any frustration or anxiety I feel.” This is also what I have come to realise and understand lately too…I am not the emotions I’m feeling – they are something I’ve taken on, they are not actually who I naturally am – and once this is known we can more easily come back to our loving choices. And it certainly takes away all the berating of ourselves when we know its simply a choice in any given moment.
Responsibility and Consistency have become such powerful ways of living. By living these choices my appreciation for my life and those around me has deepened. I also thank Serge, Family and Universal Medicine students for being so inspirational.
‘For me feeling this has been huge as it’s highlighted that it’s all about choice, and that there needs to be a consistency in the choices I make.’ Monica this blog is very empowering because it reminds us all that we are always in the drivers seat when it comes to energetic integrity.
“The more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving… I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility. It’s an on-going process, not one with any destination – love begets more love.” This is a wonderful reminder that the more we choose love in our life, the more we will see the next step to build on that level of love and responsibility. And it is an ongoing unfolding. As simple as that.
Like you Monica, I also understand more and more that I am not the frustration, anger or sadness, which I sometimes experiense and I can choose to be loving with myself despite these emotions.
‘They are not special, but they choose to live in a way that is committed to ensuring that how they express and live is with absolute love and integrity, and I too have access to that at any time – I just need to commit to love, continually and deeply.’ I love this paragraph about the Benhayons as it is easy to avoid responsibility by telling ourselves that the Benhayons are in some way special, or that it is easier for them or they have an advantage, which is just an excuse not to take responsibility for our own choices which may not have been so loving or committed, and that at the end of the day hurts. Choosing responsibility is not the arduous task we so often tell ourselves, it is an opportunity to live a life of vitality and starts with being present and feeling all that we do rather than choosing when we want to feel and when we do not.
I am finding from every mistake I make there is equal opportunity for appreciation in the learning. No need to be hard on ourselves only the need to observe what happens the moment we are inconsistent with our loving choices.
Life is one big school when we choose to truly learn from it. Except the teachers are more loving, and the subject is soul.
Thank you Monica, I loved this example that you shared “…someone who has mastered a way of living where they have more love and joy in their lives is neither immune to anger, nor lacks access to it – they do – but how they live means they are less likely to give attention and focus to it.” Rather than focus on not feeling “unpleasant” feelings and emotions, it makes so much more sense to focus on how we are with ourselves and how we take care of ourselves, for from that foundation the experience of anger, sadness, anxiousness, etc still occurs, but it is not consuming.
So true Hannah and this is a very beautiful point that these feelings ‘still occur, but are not consuming.’ I feel a real sense of acceptance in this blog and the comments being shared. There is also a grace that we are allowing ourselves and each other in knowing that these feelings are always there but it’s how we deal with them that makes the difference. The message here for me is that it’s OK to feel these ‘negative’ or ‘unloving’ feelings and that Love is only a choice away.
Thank you Monica, I agree, the energy never stops coming through us so anxiety never leaves us we just have mechanisms to live with love as our focus, which changes the way we then have relationships with any emotion. To get an even greater understanding go to; Understanding Anxiety in Men – ONLINE COURSE
http://study.coum.org/enrol/index.php?id=14
Anxiousness is a plague that is world-wide, and yet millions of people think that it is ‘just the way things are ‘ … it is not, and it is addressable as Monica so clearly states.
That we can actually rebuild our lives by the choices we make is one of the many empowering understandings presented by Universal Medicine, indeed empowering humanity to re-claim the direction of their lives and their purpose.
It is indeed how we live that brings to us in our lives our experiences, all the theory or constructs in the world will patch up a leaky life.
Thanks Monica, I too am starting to choose love over anxiousness, and my body is thanking me for it every day. As a result, I am feeling the beauty and stillness that has always been there inside me which I could not connect to because of the constant tremor throughout my system.
There is no escaping un-wanted feelings, its just how we deal with them that counts. Do we numb them, hide from them, ignore them and suppress them or do we allow them to just be there? I know that the care and nurturing that I bring myself often puts these feelings into perspective and what seemed enormous initially is actually very small or even non-existent.
Yes and I find that if I try to change what I am feeling I am actually feeding them. If we allow them to just be they will pass and who I truly am remains.
Well said Matthew – we can’t run away from our own feelings and emotions, as you say, the only thing which counts is that we know how to deal with them. In this context it’s very important that we don’t try to change what we are feeling, this would make it worse.
Anxiety in itself is aroused by not feeling equipped to deal with what we have already felt. The anxiety itself, which is really just a rhythm or state of being we choose to go into is different to what we would call nervous tension. The nervous tension we feel, where we feel hard wired, twitchy, fast, scattered etc is actually different. For underneath that, we find if we become still that there is still a disease with the world. And that is partially because we are mostly in reaction to all that we see that is not true. So in that sense ,anxiety itself is not a “bad” thing, for often if originates from a reaction that is true. However, it is dishonest in the sense that it gives us a feeling that prevents us from truly being able to ponder on and understand what it is we are actually feeling. In other words, anxiety is a choice. It is a state of being that we choose, for we prefer it to what it is that we do not want to feel.
Thus the key to anxiety is just learning to build a relationship with all we feel – including the anxiety – and develop a relationship with the tension that is in all of life.
Adam, Spot on. this was great to read and had such insight and depth into anxiety. Made so much sense.
Thank you Monica for sharing this with us. I am very glad you talk about this. It stands out what love is and what is not love and it is for us all to discover the difference in our lives and see those areas where it stands out. When I look back at my life until now I see many pockets where I have hidden who I am , the loving and true woman I am and have connected to since now 5 years (I am still deepening). What is so phenomial is that through Esoteric Healing, Chakrapuncture and presentations I have found that connection back to myself – to my loveliness. This was the best moment in my life , it is now to see all my choices that I have made in life that have formed my life , but to understand that not all of those choices came from my loveliness (as I did not had that connection to myself before). Now, it is time to re-tune in on my choices and feel what has been the quality of life I had chosen for myself. In one short line= I can feel that I can offer myself a way deeper loving life, as to care for myself in a deeply loving way. Now it is time, it is my choice and by making choices to connect to my loveliness and deepen this – I change my life – in a very beautiful way. Upside down, but I like it!
Monica I love how you point out the Benhayon family and those who consistently choose love are no different to another or are in anyway special. For years I tried to make out to myself they were special, coupled with blaming my ill treatment onto the world, so to hide from my irresponsibility of not choosing love, Your blog expresses what the truth is and how we all are responsible for what energetic choices are available for others to choose from.
It’s true Monica – getting frustrated about feeling anxious or angry or sad or any other emotion is just magnifying the disharmony – it’s essentially piling an emotion on top of another one! And ignoring them won’t make them go away either.. It is as you have said possible to feel what we are feeling and to make a choice to let go of that which we know does not belong, and in doing so make way for love.
The fact that we have a choice in every moment to choose love or not is really bringing home the responsibility of each and every choice we make.
A beautiful example of walking self-love which leads to love the more I accept with absoluteness who I am .
Great piece of writing, thank you Monica. I used to feel that anxiety wasn’t a choice, because it felt like it would just suddenly flood in without warning. But I’ve recently begun to experience how my choices affect the level of anxiety that I feel, and how making more self-loving choices can totally turn things around. There are still moments when I lose myself in it, but it’s so empowering to know – and to actually feel – that the anxiety is not who I truly am, but a choice to align to it – and that I can choose to stay in it and perpetuate it, or bring myself out of it by simply stopping and breathing and focusing on my movements.
Great point Monica, I know the more I choose love the more I realise there is the responsibility to do so “There is a responsibility here: the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving… I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility. It’s an on-going process, not one with any destination – love begets more love.”
I agree rosannabianchini. More love and more responsibility go hand in hand. I can feel how much this in itself can be appreciated. Every step of love we choose, is in fact inviting and asking for more responsibility. Now that’s beautiful.
I often get frustrated with myself to falling back into old patterns, but I love what you share here. It is about consistently living in such a way that we first choose to feel the love that we are in every moment, but at the same time acknowledge the other ‘not so lovely’ emotions too. “Love begets more love” – I love it!
Learning to understand the choices I make, and why, has been a very interesting journey so far – and one that is ongoing. I love that I have the support around me to be able to reflect on these choices and therefore choose things in my life that truly support me – and therefore all others. It’s beautiful this is how it all actually works. If we are not honouring ourselves, deeply so, then we are not truly honouring all those around us. This blows ‘out of the water’ putting others’ needs first as it will never be truly honouring for anyone involved.
Thank you Monica for sharing this magical blog. This is such a timely blog for me to read as I have fallen into anxiousness and frustration just recently….’address the feelings that come up when I get frustrated or anxious; less and less from a place of being wrong and more from an understanding that I am love’. This is such a beautiful reminder.
I love this Gill ‘The importance of our choices keeps cropping up in my every day in all situations’. It is so true. Your responsibility grows with the choices you make when you become more self loving and when you become aware that your choices also affect everyone else.
‘less and less from a place of being wrong and more from an understanding that I am love’. Monica I feel the same way too. The more loving I become within myself the less negative thoughts I have, or feeling of anger and anxiety in my body. If these emotions do enter my body I can quickly identify them as they now feel foreign and unpleasant in my body.
Thank you Monica, I listened to this audio as well and was struck for days about the choices we make and how they are enablers or blockers to the love available within and to me The simplicity of this is truly profound and I feel the force lurking and the patterns I have developed to take me away from embracing in every moment the love that I am. Great blog. I will re read often!
This is a great awareness you have shared Monica. The day I first read your blog a friend and I had shared a conversation on this. Yes the whole gamut of feeling everything is constantly present. For me part of the understanding has been that if ‘I think I should be or get rid of anything’ then this in its self is a trap to stay stuck in the same feelings.
It took me a long time to let go of my harness of control before choosing to feel my own Love and the love around me. Of others as well as of life. There’s so much support around us as well as there’s love in everyone to connect to. I can share for myself that allowing myself to choose to feel the love in my body once again is a result of taking more responsibility and consistency. Thank you Monica. This blog really confirms what I experience too and it’s great to write about it (a confirmation in itself).
It makes sense to me Monika that if we do live in a way that is loving with ourselves, we will naturally be like this with those around us, whereas if we give ourselves a hard time, beat ourselves up (verbally and through our actions and choices) then we likely to be hard on others.
When i read this article it feels like a warm hug and I feel inspired to be the love that I am knowing that this will constantly evolve and deepen. This feels very beautiful and expansive.
It is great to know that our experience and expression in life is not random, out of our hand, or something we can just wish or will away. We all have everything going through us every moment of the day, so we have access to every thought, emotion, feeling and what we actually focus on is an out-play of our choices leading to that point. This brings a great level of responsibility and understanding for ourself and for everyone else. Delightful blog Monica. Thank you.
When we come from an understanding, there is no room for resistance. When we understand, we can just be with what is.
I love what you have offered here to us all Monica – it is all equally available to everyone and how we live does impact on how easy it is to make loving choices.
So simple and so profound, why self-care choices can make ALL the difference “It’s a bit like having a ‘short fuse’ of a temper; it can be shorter if we’re tired, have been living under pressure or feeling over-whelmed, whereas if we’re living in a way which is taking care of ourselves, in whatever small steps they may be, we have more space and possibility to make more loving choices,…” This is something I have been experimenting with over the last decade and the quality of my life has expanded beyond what I ‘thought’ was possible.
I appreciate how you discussed all energy is available at all times and it is what we choose that makes the difference. And how this relates to where we ‘berate’ ourselves of not, to feel it all, is to know all.
Thats a great point made by Monica and mentioned in your comment Samantha- its true, all energy is available at all times, although many a time I have given myself the excuse that my reactions are justified because that person is so wrong or bad in some way….It still all gets down to what energy we choose to express in.
What a blog Monica. Yes I feel that this is so true and that we are love and the more I chose love the less there is space for anger or anxiety…well even when it can come up and be presented, I can hold myself in it lovingly…observing and stop judging it.
Here’s to the marathon and not the sprint, walked gently (not run) over lifetimes…. Great insight Monica.
That’s beautiful Joel, ‘walked gently over lifetimes’ and it reminded me that it’s not about getting to any place necessarily but taking each loving step, the truth is I don’t know the end point of that love so why the need to get there. It’s taking each loving step to live more of the love I am that is needed. Thanks for the reminder.
“the truth is I don’t know the end point of that love” – so true, as much as we want to have it mapped and planned out, so far it is so much grander than I could have expected and it feels like only a fraction of what is there.
I was feeling upset about something and could feel I had shut down to the other people in my home as I was reading this. Your words helped me connect to the truth that I am love and this showed me how easy it is to let others in when I connect to the fact that I am love and not the anxiousness, bad choices, anger, hurt etc.
Ah Leonne, so don’t chase the ‘smoke screen’ the “anxiousness, bad choices, anger, hurt etc.” but simply stop and let go of the ‘chase’ and “connect to the fact that I am love”. Sounds so simple and yet we choose to not only chase the ‘smoke screen’ but walk right into it and say we can’t see anything. What you are saying is a defining choice to say no, no matter what is going on outside of you, no matter the thoughts, first stop and choose your natural state, ‘love’ and then from there you can truly do anything. Thanks Leonne.
I realize more and more, how crucial it is to know what we are – love. Otherwise we would be completely lost in our emotions. If we don’t have a reference point to what we are, it is almost impossible to heal the unresolved issues in our bodies.
Absolutely Monica – Words cannot adequately describe the appreciation I feel for Serge Benhayon, the Benhayon family and the various practitioners who’ve shown me that I am love by being love, absolutely always, no matter what is going on.
I agree Monica, if we bring the understanding to our self when we make a mistake and look at what the learning is and continue to be loving towards self, then we are able to be this same way with others.
To be the same way with others is something I am learning especially at work. By observing others I am understanding the choices they are making and how they are living. Many of their choices I can identify as past choices I used to make and how I felt and what was happening to me when I was living these choices. So if a mistake is made I have an understanding as to why and I no longer get angry with them.
Simple and very true MaryLouise, we really can make life this simple.
This is a very important point Mary-Louise, understanding is the key to learning how to be in true relationship with our self and others.
Monica what you have written is so clear and makes perfect sense, how can we expect to feel some of our feelings without feeling others?.. and why do we react to some feelings and not others?..
I am left feeling that consistency means bringing love and understanding, no matter what.
Abby, I love that ‘consistency means love and understanding no matter what’. Understanding this and allowing ourselves the grace to know and feel which side we’ve been on is a great step and when we accept that love is always there ready and waiting, no matter what we’ve previously done, we can more easily come back to the love we are.
This is a very insightful blog – our choices have a huge influence on how we feel but no choice of ours will stop us feeling the choices of others, the beautiful ones or the horrible ones.
Wise words Christoph, I remember spending so much of my life not wanting to feel the choices of others or myself that I became very disillusioned in life. What I find now is the more I allow myself to feel those choices the greater freedom and understanding I have. As you say you can then experience more and more the beauty of life as well as the reality that may not be so great.
I agree Christoph, we feel the choices of others but often do not want to accept what we are feeling as we have an image of how things ought to be.
We need to feel our choices with out judgment more as an opportunity to learn. If we condemn our self for making an ill choice we are pulling in more poisonous energy that harms us and keeps us from learning the lesson and evolving
This blog has served to remind of the need for consistency, consistency, consistently!
Michelle, it’s so true, the moment consistency slips it feels like a tsunami of un-favoured feelings and tension arises. There is no room for anything less than consistency yet so often I choose this in favour of a break or comfort.
Monica you have a great point about how we cannot feel one thing without the other – in fact we are naturally very sensitive to all feelings – and when we accept this, sure there are things that don’t feel great – but they are also markers to show us what is going on in our bodies and what is the next thing to look at. To get to a place where we are in deep appreciation of all that we feel is to let go of the anxiousness that can sometimes build up from trying to avoid feeling all the consequences of our choices or parts that are not actually us.
Monica this is great to read and get an even stronger understanding that every thought, reaction, emotion and Love is always there running in and through us. It is just down to our choice as to which one we choose. The other great point is that it is the consistency of choosing Love and Integrity then this becomes your focus and anxiety becomes a thing of the past.
Monica it’s quite simply and yet deeply profound what you have shared – the fact that we all have access to all the feelings all of the time. We can get angry and emotional or feel loving and playful. That our choice has to be to feel everything and be honest with that, and then through our choices and “from an understanding that I am love” everything changes. That’s what I’ve witnessed over the past decade and as we take more responsibility for how we live, life becomes a far more enjoyable experience with real purpose.
“There is a responsibility here: the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving… I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility. It’s an on-going process, not one with any destination – love begets more love.” It is about responsibility, the more love we choose and allow the more comes our way, with that comes more responsibility, as every choice and movement we make effects everyone else. So the depth of understanding and responsibility gets deeper.
“And it’s that solidity that allows me to address the feelings that come up when I get frustrated or anxious; less and less from a place of being wrong and more from an understanding that I am love and any moments where this has not been lived are to be addressed so I can be even more the love I am.” Monica, I see also that it is your livingness, the marathon of consistently responsible choices that has delivered such a clear and accessible blog about true Love, a heart felt thank-you.
Brilliant blog Monica. I so enjoyed reading it this morning, realising in an ouch moment that I still berate myself over feelings of anxiousness that are there rather than accepting them as opportunities to make changes in the way I am choosing to live and to bring more honouring and acceptance of me.
A great blog Monica and so honest and revealing thank you . You bring the importance and understanding of our choices with honesty, responsibility and love as the only way and this really does make a different to our lives how we live and the honesty which removes anxiousness and our emotions .
A beautiful truth, Monica, simply expressed – “I just need to commit to love, continually and deeply.”
Yes thank you Janet, I agree. We make something so simple so hard. We think we only have one life, one go around the block but the convenience of this is that we can again say we don’t know but what truly we are saying is that we don’t want to open our eyes to see the choice we made and then what choices came from that. Life as I see it is not tough, hard or anything else, life is a gift, a gift of space to walk back through each step away from ‘love’ we naturally are. A creation to end creation and all I truly need do is, “I just need to commit to love, continually and deeply”.
Simply said Raymond…..Hear hear!!!
Haha and yes thank you Jody touché.
Its great to re-read your article Monica, this stands out for me, ‘the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving’, I have found this in my life, that because I have been making loving choices, what is not loving in my life really stands out, i have a lot more awareness around this now and it is clear what needs working on and changing.
And so, we don’t need to go looking for things to ‘fix’ within ourselves – we just choose to live with more love moment by moment, and that which isn’t loving stands out.
The other comment was how cool this analogy of trying to block out one aspect from the spectrum of light… I know the feeling well of ignoring how I am feeling and quickly the world become dull, lifeless and disconnected, which I would definitely relate back to ‘monochrome’ – one dimensional. It feels awful when compared to the richness that is available to us all.
This stood out for me too Simon – thanks for the reminder. It’s a powerful image and a great analogy for remembering that we can’t pick and choose – we either choose to feel everything warts and all, or nothing. And the beautful thing about this is that even if we have tuned into monchrome, it just takes a simple choice to turn on the mega-colour. Sure we then have to keep choosing it otherwise the monochrome flicks back on, but the more consistently we do, the less ‘twitchy’ the switch becomes and so we will be supported through trickier times and stay in colour, even when we are feeling the full force of emotions.
Great to read this blog, thanks Monica. I did note as I was reading it about how when we master a greater living way of love that we are less like to give attention to the other bag of emotions that drag us down. For me, as the love grows, I am more sensitive and open to what is going on so I pick them up earlier and earlier, actually feel them more, and work on not allowing them to develop into something bigger.
Consistency is the building block for true change to occur.
I agree Elizabeth. For us to change a behaviour we CONSISTENTLY follow, we must offer consistency to the change we wish to make.
Beautiful.
Hear hear Elizabeth, so true, and this consistency needs to apply to all areas of our life.
It sure does Kathleenbaldwin, for example, being consistent with going to bed every night between 8 and 8.30pm, has a positive impact on my following day… thus I awake without an alarm and begin the ritual of my morning routine, which again is consistent and sets me up for more of the same consistency throughout my day….
I so agree with you Elizabeth, since building more consistency in my life I can feel true change happening. If I am consistent in one area of my life, which I have been, this supports me to be consistent in other areas.
Hello marylouisemyers and I love the word ‘consistency’ and what feels important to realise is that it’s something we already are. It’s true to say we can bring more consistency into our lives while also appreciating the consistency that is already there. You can’t truly build consistency without taking stock or appreciating what is already there. Even in what appears to be an inconsistency you can have a consistency within. I agree that this is a “building block for true change to occur.” while at the same time I can see that without a true connection to what you are feeling then you can’t be sure where and who you are building with.
Yes Elizabeth – consistency and taking responsibility for everything I feel are the key ingredients for change.
When we commit to expressing more love, the more love we express has to expose the other bits or parts in our life which have not been love…..makes sense because it is love that evolves us, nothing less.
Absolutely. We are constantly called to be more in all areas of our life. This is how love and evolution works.
And such is the nature of love. There to show us what is not love but just being itself.
Yes Doug. Is that not the mark of responsibility. I read another comment on another blog that took it a step further by also stating that it is our responsibility to deal with the hurst/issues that allowed that emotion to enter us in the first place. All my life I have thought that responsibility was roughly just behaving sensibly and doing what you said you would do….I, and many of us have a lot to learn.
Judgement is as irresponsible as irresponsibility because it allows us to avoid feeling the truth of the irresponsibility – which is very irresponsible.
Doug and Otto, I know this one also, being seen to hold up my end, or doing what I committed to, it all seemed so responsible and to a degree it was but I didn’t take into account the deeper responsibility that asks how I am in every moment, so yes I will do that thing I promised you but true responsibility asks what quality I brought to that, and how I’ve been with me throughout – beautiful point and very revealing. Thank you gentlemen.
I love your example Mary! It does all come down to choice and it takes dedication and commitment to keep choosing love and come out of old stuck patterns that have been self-made.
What I appreciate in this blog is the sense of wide-openness you have to this Monica. I can really feel the humility in your words but also the lack of self-judgement. Which seems to me to be a great combination that is allowing you to see the fuller picture. It’s a very inspiring and timely read and I thank you for it.
Monica, this is a treasure of a blog, deeply insightful and showing of exactly how much work and dedication you have put in to being who you are.
Yes Its very apparent how much dedication has gone into the way Monica lives, I am so glad she is choosing what she is, it enabled her to be the amazing joyous inspiration she really is.
I love the fact that everything is available to everyone energetically and that it is just a matter of choice what we let through. The more loving choices we make the more we will choose them the next time.
Yes it’s so beautifully simple isn’t it Sonja.
On reading your blog this morning Monica I was particularly struck by your words, “how they live means they are less likely to give attention and focus to it”. We can either choose to stay with harmful thoughts or emotions or we can choose to live with absolute love and energetic integrity; the choice is ours.
A very powerful blog thank you Monica.
Our power lays in our choices doesn’t it. That is for sure.
I was at work the other day and I saw a man drop his lunch, as he was carrying too much stuff, the lid came off his tupperware container and his food ended up all over the ground, he then flew into a rage throwing everything else to the ground and using every swear word under the sun. To see and feel his rage somehow made me want to laugh and I had to restrain myself as it was highly likely he would have attacked me if I had. I thought afterwards that my need to laugh was in some way to counter the anger or so I didn’t feel the full brunt of it.
It is interesting that as we make more and more loving choices, the emotions such as anger, resentment, rage stand out more strongly than ever before; they feel almost alien to our bodies, and the power of them can be quite confronting.
I know what you mean here Paula, I agree, I used to be very familiar with anger and rage expressed regularly, now that I am committed to expressing LOVE in my life, other emotions are expressed rarely and they stick out as being harsh and hard when I do have my slip ups.
It could have been that kevmchardy, or the scene could have been funny enough to make you laugh – watching a grown man spit the dummy and throw a tantrum.
I was going to say that Kathleen!
I love the honesty in your previous response Kevin and relate with what you share here about wanting to laugh to stop feeling the energy in that situation. I can relate to using things like laughter or whatever to divert away from just being there with that situation and totally allow myself to feel it in full with no judgement and no absorbing. This would build a truly supportive and allowing body that is more in service from true inner power.
I know what you mean trueconnection2013 I was with someone the other day and this is what I observed. We were talking about appreciating himself and valuing himself, all of a sudden, he just kept laughing. I recognised it was his way, of not allowing himself to feel, what was there to feel. Even though I noticed at the very beginning that he did resonate with what I was expressing, but instead he diverted into laughing. I know for myself, I have also done this in the past too.
Having been someone who would always avoid people who were angry and feel over sensitive to angry outbursts, of late I also have been finding people who are having a tantrum amusing, and with that I am finding I am not carrying it around with me all day or walking on eggshells. I just get on with my day.
Wow – amazing how we can use little things to let our rage erupt – we blame everything outside of ourselves because that stops us from taking full responsibility for the way we are choosing to live. Life so reflects our choices, the lessons are easy to learn if we are prepared to listen / see / understand.
Great observation Kevmchardy, so many times we use humour to cover the hurt we don’t want to feel.
Awesome blog Monica, so well spelled out and so very helpful and easy to put into practice, with the right choices of course.I still don’t fully comprehend that we feel absolutely everything, everywhere all at one time but it will come with more loving choices.
Yes, this is quite something to try and fathom, especially if we have chosen to be numb for a very long time.
So true Rebecca. It can take a bit to loosen the shackles from the comfort of living in disconnection.
A super reminder Kevin that yes we feel absolutely everything all of the time, and not to be afraid of this, but rather to embrace this knowing, and then to live in a way to ensure that we do not react, or take on emotions from others, but rather we observe and allow others to be where they are at, so that we can support ourselves to feel more….
Supporting and allowing ourselves to feel all is super important and allows us to observe life rather than react.
Yes jacqmcfadden, I agree. By embracing what we know to be true it becomes much simpler to live without reacting to what is going on around us, but to simply “observe and allow others to be where they are at”. The more I am able to do this, the freer I feel within myself and my body – it is truly liberating and so much more supportive to myself and all those around me.
As you say Jacqmcfadden04, it is so important, that we don’t judge what we feel. There was a feeling in my body, I was always afraid of. Since I’m more and more connected to myself, I can much better handle this feeling, it is still there, but it doesn’t rule me any more. This is a wonderful development.
I thought this as well kevmchardy, Monica’s blog is very clear there is no room to ‘read between the lines’ so to speak. What really stood out for me here was ‘So if someone does something, anywhere in the world, that feeling is available to all of us, and crucially, even those who have developed a greater consistency, understanding and awareness in how they live, also have these feelings available to them.’ This highlights the importance of responsibility and taking responsibility for all our actions as well as living this consistently. Something I know for a fact Serge Benhayon Universal Medicine and Universal Medicine practitioners do. One of the absolute best ever things I have done in my life is, as Monica shared, finding Universal Medicine.
Kev, I love your honesty here, and the truth is while I understand we feel everything there are times when I don’t want to know it and don’t want to truly take in the bigness of that, and actually I don’t want to see and feel it at all. That’s when distractions come in and I can feel how they dull what is felt and allow us to fool ourselves that we’re not feeling what we indeed are, and we can then continue the illusion that in that moment we don’t feel, when in fact we very definitely do; all of this is a very clever trick to obscure our loving choices in that moment.
While most of us I imagine do not want to deliberately harm anyone, when we are presented with the truth that the quality of our every thought, word and deed impacts everyone else an internal struggle takes place. On the one hand we can feel that this is true and is absolutely what is needed to heal humanity as a whole and yet we can resist accepting the responsibility because it means letting go all the things we have used to define ourselves with – the things that make us an individual. But the colour of individualism is so drab, pale and washed out when put side by side with the magnificent, multi-dimensional, technicolour of someone who is absolutely committed to making their contribution to the whole, Love to the very best of their ability. Wow, even feeling this as I write the difference is palpable.
Lucy, I feel that palpable difference you speak of here also, how individualism no matter how ‘bright’ is still drab compared to the colours of anyone making a commitment to the whole. And yet I can feel that internal struggle you speak of very strongly how much I can cling to old ways that define me and hang onto them long past their sell by date – why? The answer that comes just now is that it’s familiar, very comfortable and I (and I being the point here) have no idea how I’d be without those things. And yet I know it’s not it, that the ‘I’ I cherish and it’s ways are just not true and are limiting (I’ve felt and know this), so it’s time to let go of those ways and explore and feel how it is to be committed to the whole, knowing that it’s a journey with no ending and no peak. You’re right Lucy there is such a difference and why delay where each of us are ultimately going anyway? That’s the funniest of all really, this is our home that we are returning to and we will return!
Yes the joke is on us really Monica! Try as we might to resist the thing we want the most (and yes that’s a huge contradiction), ultimately we will all return to love in the end (or rather, the next new beginning!).
Loving your openness and honesty, I also do not comprehend this in full, but can feel the truth in it. It got me pondering about the tension feeling my body is under, feeling all there is, I can ‘berate’ myself for feeling this tension, it is great to consider that it is natural to have a tension and it is something to embrace rather than be critical or self sabotaging because of it.
I too have often berated myself for this fact of having access to love all the time yet choosing to not be aware of it. When I choose to be aware it feels amazing and I love being with people. Love comes through the body whereas the berating comes into the head, this I feel is key to understanding my choices to ignore that awareness of the ever available love. My body has never not been willing to show me how to feel the love that I am and its a choice to stay with my body throughout the day.
Imagine having this awareness when we are numb and disconnected. It would be too much for us to handle, hence the choices we make to block these feelings as the awareness is always there. We cannot avoid these feelings but we can chose to ignore them.
I have been noticing more and more recently how I take ‘awareness holidays’ where I have a moment when I detect something uncomfortable or a tension and I don’t want to feel it so I divert my awareness somehow to make it feel more comfortable temporarily. The trouble is I am still feeling it (I have just distracted myself from this fact) and now without full awareness, I am much more likely to take it on or react to it which hurts more. So maybe contrary to the beliefs I have in my head around protection and guardedness, our hurts come from when we choose to not fully be open, aware and accept whatever we feel?
I think you’re onto something Andrew. Our bodies speak loudly to us through tension or discomfort. It’s an opportunity for us to work on what is not true that we have attachment to and hold inside of us. By choosing to ignore this message we need to dull it or chose a different energy to scramble the message. I agree with you, this is when we hurt the most as this is when we turn our back on ourselves when we need our connection the most.
I too don’t really comprehend that, but I know I feel awesome when I am connected and when I express love to and with other people. I know when I approach people who are distressed I can easily impact them by being my loving self in gestures, behaviours and words. Its so simple and supports us all.
I agree Kevin, like you and many others I am still work in progress and it will become clearer and clearer with more loving choices.
What an awesome realisation Monica, thank you for sharing. It is a great reminder that in each and every moment we have a choice and what choice we make is dependent upon the way we have been living up to that point. Although in any single moment we can choose love or not love, it really is that simple and black and white.
Gorgeous blog Monica, its the basis of love that we have that determines how we can deal with feeling all that is there to feel. But there is actually no time we truly don’t feel, as we are constantly affected by all that is going on in the world.
‘as we are constantly affected by all that is going on in the world’, this could explain why people chose comfort food, drink alcohol or take drugs without really knowing the root cause of why they are making these choices. We are all living on the same planet so a country at war, how can it not but affect everyone else. It’s no different to breaking your leg and believing that it’s not affecting the rest of your body. We all know a broken bone does affect the whole body.
This explanation to me is the cornerstone of it all…”someone who has mastered a way of living where they have more love and joy in their lives is neither immune to anger, nor lacks access to it – they do – but how they live means they are less likely to give attention and focus to it..” and simply confirms how everything is a choice that we do have command of.
Great blog Monica – thank you for helping to understand that we feel everything all the time but it’s the quality of how we’re living that determines how we deal with things as they arise and whether we have the space in our bodies to be able to choose whether we go into reaction or respond in a loving way.
That is indeed important to consider Doug, that when we pick up emotions we must be aware that they are not us but are just made available to us because someone else has lived this emotion and has put that out in the world available for anyone who is susceptible to it from their emptiness. The universal law though does also works in the way that when we choose love instead and live from our inner connection with the forever lighting fire in us, this is also shared with all of humanity to consider as a reflection of us choosing this way of living.
Great point Nico and Doug, we are not the emotions or feelings we feel. They pass in and through us and we choose to align to them or not. The more we align to love, the more natural this is for us and the more obvious it is when we are in emotions such as anger or sadness etc. And so we impact each other and the space we share, so the more we feed love the more that is available for another – which is great to remember.
It is true Doug that I have walked away from the responsibility life comes with because I was not aware of the consequences there are by universal law. Now looking back to my life, and being presented with the consequences of my irresponsible choices of the past, it does not feel the way to go anymore as in not taking responsibility for my life, I am in fact negating that I am part of a greater whole that I am an innately and inseparable part of.
Super true, we deeply know we are responsible and so we go to amazing lengths to avoid it, to distract ourselves and the fact we have to go to such lengths is telling, it says how deeply we know that we are responsible and that we have to fight to ignore what we do know, and that at the end of it all, there is no getting away from it. All we’re playing is a game of delay, and incurring more pain and hardship while we do. We are responsible and there is huge power and love in that, we just have to learn to live it, and we will, our choice really is – do we live it now or later?
Yes Doug we very knowingly and deliberately delay, I know I do, and there is both an irresponsibility and arrogance in that. We know we are eternal so we thrash ourselves and the bodies we’re in as we know deep in us, we’ll come back again with another body and have another go, yet the whole point of that return is to live love in our body, to live love in this world so all can feel and see what it is to walk love here, to know that they are love. It’s a fool’s game we play, yes we act as fools when we are anything but, until one day we decide we no longer want to do this and we begin again the journey back to living love, we let go of delay and begin to address the arrogance we’ve held onto and lived, the hurts we’ve hidden in to avoid responsibility and we live from love, making everything, each and every movement about love.
I found this an incredible realization that we all have access to the energies that are available within the world. We are energetic beings in which energy passes by and through us and we have the choice as to what type of energy moves through us by the way we live. This is the ultimate call for responsibility in the choices that we make and how these choices support us in terms of what type of energy we align to.
It certainly is Donna, this really is the ultimate in taking responsibility in knowing that everything we choose affects ourselves and others too in relation to the pool of energy we all live in.
Consistency has become one of my favourite words of late and I am finding it is such a poignant key to life. I find that I am very consistent in my choices so that when I make self-loving choices this alignment to consistency is super supportive. However, the polar opposite to that is the consistency that I have with the unloving choices, so for me it is becoming more aware of choices that no longer support me and work towards shifting those to another more loving way of being.
“So if I live in a way that constantly berates myself and others, how can I grasp the possibility of being loving towards another, rather than angry, if I have not lived lovingly in my day to day life?” – completely, this really brings the crucial aspect of living life in cycles that are built on foundations — what we set today, we make for tomorrow.
I agree, the foundation we have creates our tomorrows. Something to consider when we ‘think’ disregard, anger, abuse etc are momentary, however we are setting a precedent for what will occur in our lives.
Absolutely brilliant blog Monica, you make the (seemingly) complex so simple, clear and straightforward – Acceptance is not something that can be compartmentalised — the good, the bad, the ugly is all to be accepted, and how we deal with it, is confirmed through the way we live. With a loving way. Or not.
Thanks Monica for putting it very simply that enjoying positive feelings is wonderful but that it doesn’t mean that the emotional mine field is not still out there. The difference in whether we are feeling love, joy, harmony etc or are caught up in the emotional chaos of anger, frustration, excitement etc, is down to the choices we have made along the way beforehand. There is a lot here for me to reflect on because it’s not just a case of having the knowledge of how this works; it’s about applying it more deeply in everyday life.
Thank you Monica. I listened to sermon number 26 yesterday also and it was beautiful to hear the way our choices affect what is experienced in our lives. When we make choices to love and support ourselves, we have a foundation that can make way for consistency in how we feel. This foundation also supports us to work through any issues or problems that may arise. As you have said Monica – knowing we have love and purity always as our very basis, means we can see and feel what is not that, and develop understanding with the support from those around us as to why we have chosen that way of being instead of the love that we are.
This is very powerful Monica, thank you and very timely. All too often have I identified myself with anger, frustration and emotion and then went even more angry at myself and thought that “I should not be feeling these feelings”. But it has been very revealing to acknowledge just now that I am no different to anyone else…it is just about taking the responsibility of ‘choice’, acceptance of reality and that we are continuously unfolding.
“There is a responsibility here: the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving… I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility.” This highlights that love is responsibility; the two go hand in hand.
Knowing that everything passes through all calls us to a higher level of responsibility for how we live.
It sure does Annie, it means that we cannot do things behind closed doors and think we can get away with them!
Absolutely James. And thinking that we can, shows how far from our true way of living we have removed ourselves.
Well said Annie, no living one way at home and then pretending to be something else when with others.
It does Annie. If every energy can pass through us then this brings great responsibiiity to each one of us to deal with our hurts – less hurts we have = more love can be lived and move love available to be felt (it’s always there, it’s just our capacity to be able to feel it).
When we know ourselves as being from love then it does change everything including how we respond to life situations and people.
Sometimes when I read a blog, I highlight a line that really stands out and comment on that. But today I think I could highlight the whole blog! What you have shared is very powerful and very clear and simple…. “how we live determines what we see or favour” (I did copy just one 😉 ). Life is a marathon and requires the consistency and commitment to be part of it and every step leads towards the next one. The more loving choices you make, the more loving foundation you create to stand upon and the more solid you are and the less chance you have to take on other emotions. Thank you for writing this.
You write with a clarity Monica of what it is to feel the everything that passes through everybody and we can have the choice then to focus our consistency and awareness to say no to the anxiety and yes to the holding of our Love. Once we feel it, we get the full understanding.
‘I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility. It’s an ongoing process, not one with any destination – love begets more love’ and more joy, truth and harmony with one another. A wonderful fulfilling recipe for the way of living life. Simply a choice.
A great blog Monica. I love how you have pointed out that regardless of the awareness one chooses to live with all the emotions which are not of love are still available at any moment to pass through our body. Through consistently choosing to surrender to the Love we are we rebuild and return to the body of Love that we were born with, Divinely designed to receive and emanate Love. With this are we then able to respond and express with the Love of us All. When we separated from this Love, and choose this regularly, we are then re-configuring our bodies to receive all the emotions available to us which are not of love and this is what then we instantly respond with or express, as it is this that passes through our bodies. And so as you beautifully expressed Monica – ‘There is a responsibility here: the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving… I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility. It’s an on-going process, not one with any destination – love begets more love.’ Love is constant and consistently available to us, calling us to return to be at one with the truth of the Love we are. It is only us who chooses how consistent we want to be with our Love.
This blog explains why often we feel out of control in how we react to different situations, meaning we go into frustration or anger before we know it and before we’ve had a choice to choose something different. The truth is we always have a choice to choose something different and the choice starts in every moment before an event presented itself. If we choose to be present and be aware of whether we are making self-loving or disregarding choices this is what will create the foundation of how we will react to or deal with a challenging situation that presents itself.
I agree Danielle, being present is the first choice and impacts all others for we will be more aware as each moment presents – Thanks Monica
Absolutely ch1956 your comment reminds me that we avoid responsibility by not being present. Because if we are not present then we can’t be aware of what is going on and make a responsible and loving choice.
Yes I love what you say Katie, we always know there is a choice and how to make the most supportive choice, and as you have said we are just avoiding responsibility by saying we don’t know how to make things different. If we have been doing this for a very long time it can take a lot of surrendering, humbleness and willingness to be honest to break these patterns, and the beautiful part is that the more we surrender in every part of our life, the more naturally it will all unfold.
And to have the love and understanding to see the emotions for what they are: just emotions, but never us in our essence. A massive and empowering change indeed.
Monica this is huge. The understanding that you have shown yourself in this blog is beautiful and very gracious. No longer feeling yourself to be wrong but understanding that these feelings simply highlight areas where more love can be lived is life changing. For there is nothing wrong with us – ever just a matter of the results of the choices we make.
This opens up a level of responsibility that is at first – seems quite overwhelming. But then if you look at it truly it actually becomes so supportive.
Just wanted to expand on this Simon as think you have so nailed something here – for me it supports me in remembering that there is no check out moment, no time when I can just abandon myself as it leaves the door open for something else to come in and in my experience, that something works like a wrecking ball! If I allow those emotions to go unchecked for a while, it affects everything else very quickly.
Yes Simon, I agree that we can’t keep leaving the door open and letting those unwanted emotions in, it is the consistency to live with a quality of presence in our bodies that makes us appreciate the simplicity of it all.
Yes Simon, because a deeper surrendering to love is all that is needed.
I love this Simon, I used to turn away from responsibility because of past experiences and hurts but in stepping forward and committing to developing responsibly I have felt the support that you mention. For me it’s just about getting ourselves out of the way and be open to the possibilities of support that will come our way.
I have been coming to understand more and more recently that all of life can only be fully understood by feeling what is truly going on before us, never just thinking it. We have to live it and to live it is to feel it and its flow. This is what allows true freedom to move, dance and joyfully play through life. It is clear that if our awareness is either there or not simply by choice, what a huge responsibility our choices in life have for ourselves and us all
It makes so much sense and it is very true that what we continually bring to ourselves in whatever form this might be will be the ground we are standing on, thus either supporting us or bringing us down. If we choose anger on a regular basis anger will be the foundation we look out from in life, the more loving we choose to be the more this will be our foundation and outlook for life.
Thank you Monica, this so clearly shows how very much everything in life comes back to a choice, things never just happen to us we choose them through the choices we make.
Thank you Monica. I love your honesty. We are all never that far away from an emotion that can come in and take us away from ourselves. As you say, the start is building sound and loving foundations that make the likelihood of it occurring less and less. But when it does, it’s all about how we choose to respond. I find it helps to lovingly bring myself back, by reflecting and accepting what happened and moving on.
Love your analogy using the colours Monica, that makes so much sense – we can’t be in the fullness of life if we are only prepared to see certain colours within it.
I agree. A great analogy that makes it super clear. We can’t pretend that we have selective vision – and it is a pretence. Ignorance is not an excuse – I can’t tell a policeman that you didn’t see the sign – that doesn’t get me off the hook. The sign was there, I chose not to notice it…or even worse I noticed it but chose not to act on it…the point is that the sign was there…and thus I am responsible.
Otto, that’s an awesome point; that we are responsible even whilst we chose to not see.
Brilliant Monica I love this blog and all you are sharing on anxiousness and how it is about our choices and how we live that gives us the consistency, strength and foundation with our choices. You are an inspiration as yourself and all share thank you.
I have learned so much more about the beauty of consistency in its truest sense, and am consistently amazed at the reflection and response it brings from others – building trust, connections and deepening relationships.
An awareness and choice we should be offered with our first breath, being empowered from the word go. There would be left no gap for irresponsibility.
And what an amazing awareness and choice to give every child Alex, I agree. More essential than the skills we think they need, is the ability to choose their essence rather than the emotional energy that surrounds them. Our true and inherent right to honour who we are from the very beginning of our lives.
“…that everything passes through every body” and “it’s all about choice”, hence we choose by aligning to the energy that then makes us who we are. Interesting though this makes us individual without ever being individual as we belong to that which we choose to be. The momentous question “Who am I” gets an interesting and maybe baffling twist. 😉
So beautiful to read your blog Monica and like you I feel so much appreciation for Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. Today the postman at work said: so where have you learned all this, all what you share with me? Universal Medicine I said and it felt so great to say that as I am so thanksful for having Universal Medicine in my life, knowing that it is for me to share my love and this inspiration with everybody.
Love is for sharing…… and the more love we choose the more love we can share with all we meet, and who doesn’t need a little dose of love to brighten their day….
What Serge Benhayon has brought us is an incredible medicine for the entire humanity who had no idea how deeply diseased we really were, and how far away we were from what we truly are, and blind to the truth of what is.
This is huge Fumiyo, ‘we had no idea how deeply diseased we really were, and how far away we were from what we truly are, and blind to the truth of what is’ – I know I would not have the understanding or the insights I now have without the support of Serge Benhayon and what he has brought to us all, he’s shone a light on us and showed us that we’ve been living a speck of who we truly are, and it’s been our choice all along.
Yes, I was looking around and could see the booby prizes the world had settled for as ‘It’, but I thought I was doing OK. Ha! And later I found many actually had the same – the worst of kind of disease that makes one convinced they are not diseased. I would have had to be shaken very hard or been reflected back something that was the absolute truth to be awaken from that doziness.
I agree, Serge Benhayon has brought something to humanity that is invaluable, concerning true purpose, true health and true self-care. It may be misrepresented and lied about but it will never be degraded because he lives what he talks. This will forever be an inspiration to me and something I am learning in my own life.
Monica, it is truly beautiful to feel how tender you are, how steady and still you are. “It’s that solidity that allows me to address the feelings that come up when I get frustrated or anxious; less and less from a place of being wrong and more from an understanding that I am love and any moments where this has not been lived are to be addressed so I can be even more the love I am” – this really is gorgeous, I so needed to hear that. Thank you.
Doesn’t this show how much power to dictate our life’s direction. Everything is available to us. The lesson that needs to be learned is that choosing what we want to live doesn’t come from saying thats what we want verbally but rather in every way we live.
Yes all that talking is great Luke but ultimately we have to actively choose the quality of how we are with what we do, we have to walk our talk, anything else is a lie. And the key is (no matter what we do) to be honest, it is more loving to admit what we do and begin to observe and understand ourselves with that than it is to have high minded ideals that we speak of as if we live them when this is not true. Being honest and seeing exactly where we are and what we do is an important part of the process.
Honesty is a clear recollection of what transpired.
Truth is the proof of the livingness of you.
Luke, I love the simplicity of what you’ve shared here ‘Honesty is a clear recollection of what transpired. Truth is the proof of the livingness of you.’ – that is brilliant, first honesty and then the followup is that livingness is us, the truth.
Monica, in your writing it is clear that responsibility in how we live and care for ourselves is the underlying current that will feed every thing we do in our lives. So how important is it to live, fully supporting our bodies and choosing love and joy? Yet being fully aware of what we feel around us, the anger, frustration, sadness, stress and more, and learn to allow it to be, knowing as you share here that these emotions are not who we are. That to become one of these emotions, we have chosen it over our love. A super powerful sharing, thank you.
Thank you Monica, you bring up a very good point here…the more love you feel and the more love you reconnect to in your body, the more you will feel everything that isn’t that love. It can be a bit of a shock at first, the way it was the first time round, but the first time round I personally chose to numb myself, find coping mechanisms, stick my head in the sand. This time round I have an opportunity to simply feel it and make a choice about what I do with that feeling. It is so much more empowering to address it than bury it.
So empowering Marika, and something that when you begin to become aware of can absolutely shift the way you live.
Love what you share Monica especially this ‘it’s all about choice, and that there needs to be a consistency in the choices I make. So if I live in a way that constantly berates myself and others, how can I grasp the possibility of being loving towards another, rather than angry, if I have not lived lovingly in my day to day life?’ – it makes such utter sense to me that what we live we create more of, so in this case the more we come back to being loving with self, the more we create a loving connection to self and all others we meet. It is in being consistent that we build a true foundation for developing truly loving ways in the world.
“Meeting Serge Benhayon and finding Universal Medicine and its many practitioners has inspired me to see and feel that no matter what I’ve felt, deep in me there is an essence, a purity if you will, a love that never leaves and is never tainted.” Totally concur Monica this is the game changer, for in connecting to and building a consistent everyday relationship with this essence, these moments of anxiousness and frustration no longer eat away at my lack of self worth and identify me. Thanks to Serge Benhayon today I have a solid bed of loving choices from which self bashing can no longer take hold.
It is so easy to identify as being the emotions you feel – being an anxious or angry person, when really that is just something you feeling, but not who you are. What your sharing is great because it shows us that simply trying to block out certain feelings doesn’t work, but that committing to living in a way where you don’t put so much pressure or expectation on yourself and in turn reduce the level of anxiousness you feel, for example.
‘So if I live in a way that constantly berates myself and others, how can I grasp the possibility of being loving towards another, rather than angry, if I have not lived lovingly in my day to day life?’ This question makes so much sense to me Monica.
Agree Debra and great to be reminded that berating myself also attracts more of the self abusive behaviour i am berating myself for in the first place.
Actually, we always have a choice to be love. Sometimes it is harder, true, but it is always there, without exception.
This is a great blog Monica and you spell things out so clearly. We all feel everything and there is no escaping that. We can choose to ignore, pretend or distract ourselves, but the fact remains we are all equal in this ability. What is left then is for us to choose what we focus on and how we express. Love it.
Hi Monica – today I have felt so much joy and I could truly feel in my body the power of the choices we make in our lives and that they are our choices. It is as you have said everything is available to us – so why do we at times choose anxiety, frustration, sadness when there so much love, tenderness, joy and harmony there also. The timing of your blog is perfect.
Indeed ch1956, there is so much love, tenderness, joy and harmony equally available to everybody to choose. But many seem to me so entranced in choosing the anxiety, frustration, sadness and so on instead as a result of their chosen way of living, a way of living that is void of the love, harmony and joy which they, because of their choices, appear to have no access to.
Monica what I felt from reading your blog was how it is both an illusion and harmful to identify with being anything (an angry person or a sad person or a soulful person) because whatever we are, is simply a result of the choices we have made.
By berating myself for how I feel, what I’ve done or how I expressed, I stay with the emotional expressing and do not bring a change to my live.
Such a simple point isn’t it. Amazing.
Monica there is a casualness about the way that you write that makes what you share so incredibly accessible. A very real read.
Agree Alexis, i also loved this too about the writing style. There is a great ease when reading, like the pieces of jigsaw fitting together, with the image appearing to see how something is workable and reachable/accessible. I especially enjoyed the part about responsibility and seriousness of living love, though keeping it real at the same time to avoid…. anxiousness (!!!)
Monica’s words: ” There is a responsibility here: the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving… I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility”. Solid.
I feel the same Alexis, it is as if Monica was sitting next to me and shared her revelations, her lived wisdom and her appreciation of the inspiration of Serge Benhayon and his family and practitioners of Universal Medicine. And thank you Monica for making the choice to express this all in a fabulous insightful blog.
This is what struck me too. A conundrum that has enthralled us for so many aeons and allowed us to wallow in irresponsibility, gets stripped back to its absolute simplicity and purity by these very humble and accessible words. I always think that a mark of whether I understand something is how clearly I can explain it. It is clear to me that Monica has a real strong understanding of this.
” … love begets more love” is a great statement of fact and a beautiful confirmation of how it all truly is, even if it doesn’t always look like that on the surface.
This article highlights the fact that our livingness and choices determine the quality of our lives, everything comes back to our choices
Spot on Joe and again this is so simple and yet within this simplicity is the potential to change the world. In fact until we understand this fully nothing will change and it certainly needs to because we have turned our back on love and favoured self gain and recognition.
Great article Monica, this stands out for me, ‘I am love by being love, absolutely always, no matter what is going on.’ I love how your article makes it clear that being love is a choice, that we can choose to be loving or to not be loving – very simple.
This is brilliant Monica, I love your honesty shared here. Allowing ourselves the space to feel and acknowledge our feelings, allows our awareness to flow. This is a truly powerful key to making our own choices from true responsibility.
“It’s an on-going process, not one with any destination – love begets more love.” This is a great point. There is no end point where we have done everything we can to be the love we are, and then just take a holiday. The love we can access is never ending, as is the nature of evolution. As one thing unfolds, so does the next, without any pushing or striving, just from surrendering to a forever process of deepening connection with truth and love.
That is an important thing to remember Eleanor, that our unfolding is an ongoing process with no predestined end but instead will forever expand because that is our nature and purpose of our being in the greater whole we are part of.
Eleanor, you’ve named something really important here that there is no holiday, it’s not like we arrive at a destination called love and then cruise. We may try that but it doesn’t work as love by it’s very nature never stands still and it always evolves, and there is always a pull to be more love, so no let up, but of course why would we want that as love is the fullness we are, asking we be and share that fullness. It’s revealing that we want to cruise and how deeply ingrained the idea is in our psyches that we can go for a while and then stop, it’s a huge trap as if we approach or connect to love in that way, we’re measuring and not allowing ourselves to feel the full magnificence of the love we are and can be. I can also feel how much we’ve set up the world to not live this and how this ‘taking a break’ is built into the consciousness we live in our societies today. And how truly insidious and evil that is, it’s saying live a measured life, don’t go full throttle, and it’s a great way to stay hidebound in the complication and lack of love that the world is. Love as you say is a forever surrender to a deepening of who we truly are and where we come from.
I love how you mention the humility of knowing that everything can be accessed by anyone, and depending on how much we choose to live in a truly loving way, governs the quality of the energies that we are saying yes to (consciously of subconsciously). I am constantly humbled by this fact and know that when I get frustrated or sad about something, these emotions are not me but something I have accessed through how I have been living up until that moment. And the same goes for when I feel joyfulness and love. It’s such an amazing science that puts absolute responsibility on us about how we live our lives.
You describe in everyday words a great teaching presented by Serge Benhayon: ‘We are what we are aligned to’. We are all looking for who we are and most often identify ourselves by how we feel and behave simply because that is the way we have felt and behaved for a long time or very often and are known for by others. The notion that there may be an unchangeable essence that constitutes who we naturally are and in addition, due to free will, we can make choices that draw in an energy from outside that takes us away from that essence and introduces feelings, thoughts and behaviours that are not in line with our essence and thus creates a different personality is very revolutionary and challenging to our sense of ‘self’.
Monica a great blog, which takes away the voice of our anxiousness, frustration, etc. It is as you say wether we give any further attention or energy to these emotions which either feeds them further or slowly and gently addresses them in turn. We all have these opportunities to choose how we deal with what comes up for us, we are all equal.
Thank you Monica, I don’t believe that it was a coincidence to be reading this blog at this time. Our choices are the only thing we have direct affect over in our lives, focusing on another’s choices or the choices we made in the past or could make in the future are out of our control and giving them focus and energy only cripples us. The only choice we have power over is the one right in front of us.
Indeed Leigh, life is about choices to be made here and now and not about what choice I should have made in the past or have to make in future as when I go there that is just a way of living where I avoid to take my responsibility in life and giving my power away . While instead when I do take my responsibility I use my power, the power I have from my connection with the truth of life in all its grandness I do know and have access to.
Monica, this was the part of Sermon 26 that touched me also. It brought a greater clarity and understanding about energy, and the fact that we cannot choose what passes through us, we can only choose what energy to focus on. We all have the same capacity to harm or to love, and it is our responsibility to choose which it will be.
“I now understand these can’t exist without my fully accepting the other feelings exist too, this has been shown to me in many ways.” Accepting all of who we are – warts and all – is key. Otherwise we are in resistance, and then, as you say, it is all about choice. We have the potential for the whole range of emotions available all the time, but it is what we choose to feel that affects us – and others. Self-responsibility is so important.
Great blog Monica, thankyou. “There is a responsibility here: the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving… I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility. It’s an on-going process, not one with any destination – love begets more love.” Very true.
Thank you for sharing Monica. I love what you’ve observed about the possibility of living in a way where anger, frustration, sadness and so forth are less so a part of our everyday repertoire. All of these emotions are available to us, however it is our CHOICE to let them in the door. Equally so it is our CHOICE to live a loving and responsible life, which naturally does not mix or allow those emotions in.
Susie, you present the choice so starkly ‘it is our CHOICE to live a living and responsible life which naturally does not mix or allow those emotions in’ – what a great truth, if we want to live a deeply aware and responsible life, I cannot continue to actively choose emotions such as anger or sadness, I need to address those hurts or holes in me which allow those in so that those choices are less part of my radar – despite efforts to prove otherwise I cannot have both, if I choose anger I am less aware. There is no beating up here just a clear choice and it’s consequences and it evolves as I learn and understand how to address any hurts I may have.
True Monica. We could take this a step further, and say that it isn’t even a choice whether or not we are responsible – it is a fact and truth for everyone. Thus, the choice we have to make is whether we are going to spend our whole lives fighting what is already the truth – that we are accountable for every thing we do and how that effects the environment/people around us, or accept it. If we choose the latter it saves an entire lifetime of battling ourselves with no chance of winning.
Wow Susie, amazing observation and truth. And I either battle that truth, myself and life or I don’t. That’s the choice we’re making. The fact as you say is ‘we are responsible’ and nothing we do to fight that ever changes it, so the choice really is when do we come to that now or later, all we’re doing is delaying the in-evitable – truth doesn’t go away no matter how hard we push or wish it away. So it’s timing do I choose responsibility now or later?
Susie, I was pondering your comment further and feeling the resistance in me right now to choosing truth now, and how I (and others) can want to do it in our own time. We do indeed spend in-ordinate amounts of time and effort working around and trying to get away from simple truths that we cannot avoid, and to avoid the absolute truth we are responsible, and creating crazy complications while we do so. That’s the power of truth, it stops us in our tracks and your comment stopped me today, showing me where I still want to hold off on the truth I know.. So thank you.
So true Marika- it comes down to choice and responsibility re what energy we choose to align to- one which leads to emotions or one which leads to inner stillness, love, truth and joy.
Great blog Monica. Highlighting the effect of how we live and our choices on what we will experience and express is profound. Even the way we move before doing something will affect the way in which we do it. I go for a walk every day to feel the connection with my body and I have recently felt the difference between making my preparations for my walk, such as putting on my coat and shoes gentle and in the quality I would choose of the walk itself and not doing this and just walking out of the door. This has shown me how the way we move before doing something decides the experience that we will have. In making these preparations for my walk I am already deciding how my walk will be.
Michael, this is beautiful and it shows it all begins with movement and the quality of our movement has a huge impact, how we are with us in each moment has an impact, as you say we can walk, or we can walk with the quality of who we are and that is very different, and we feel completely different in our bodies and with us.
So many of us make life about feeling what we want to feel. But a true esoteric life is not about feeling love all the time, but about feeling all of life – full stop – the good, the “bad” and the ugly.” It is about developing a relationship with all that we feel so that we can learn to truly discern what is going on. In this way, there is no judgement, nor condemnation for feeling anxious, frustrated, or angry. But in allowing ourselves to feel it in full, we have an opportunity to understand more deeply why such emotions are triggered, and how they play out. But if we are invested in how we want life to be, or have a picture of how we even expect the esoteric life to be, then we are lacing all we feel with the perception of how we want things to be.
And so we will see life as we want it to be, and well may it be a life of love that we then experience. But it will not be true love, only the false light of a love that is packaged up pretty and pink and sold to us in a neat little package – that we buy – because it suits the ideal of life that we subscribe to. Truth by compare never diminishes itself to suit the whims of another, no matter how unpopular it may become. And it cannot, because truth is truth is truth. If it is compromised, or taken with a grain of salt, then it is no longer truth. A life of moderation is a life, but it is not a life lived true.
This line ‘screamed’ out at me Adam ‘A life of moderation is a life, but it is not a life lived true.’ This is absolutely true and you highlight how we want life to be a particular way instead of actually feeling what life is and that is not true. You’ve also ‘killed’ the illusion that many (including me) have lived by, where we consider ourselves better because we do everything in moderation, it’s a curse in the world and one that is very insidious. We tend to frown upon those who do things to extreme, and indeed judge them and feel we are better because we do things in moderation but the difference between 2 glases of wine or 10 is not what we think, in both cases we’re gone and no longer with us, and we may feel physically sicker with the latter, but the energetic result is the same with both we are no longer us, and no amount of pride at our restraint or moderation changes that. We need to look at everything in life energetically and not just how it looks physically – this is key to living a life of truth.
“everything passes through every body.” I love how this means through all of us everything passes and at the same time for each of us it passes through our body. The importance of the key to evolution our body has, is still undervalued in our world today.
“love begets more love”. How absolutely true. As you express in this article, Monica, it is a matter of personal of choice as to what one experiences in one’s life – more love or not.
Beautiful Monica, what an immense awakening it is to realise that we are all equal and when encountering a man (Serge Benhayon) and his family, who choose to live love absolutely, that we too are able to make that choice if we really, truly want to. We bob around in a sea of emotions just as we live in a world of colour, so our real choice lies in whether we want to amplify those emotions or observe them. What I have come to appreciate from Serge Benhayon’s presentations is having first been supported to find a stable, still platform within me from which to observe my emotions, I have been able to drop my identification with them and instead discern, observe and feel the energy that lies behind them. The joy in our lives that arises from this connection then supports us to deepen our observations, stay with our stillness and hence increase our joy. Thank you for your eloquent and perpetually inspiring insights that support us all to see, feel and appreciate every aspect of the life we live in.
I remember when I first heard “that everything passes through every body” and then could see and accept more easily how this really shows we are all the same and how we are or behave in the world is down to what we choose to let take a hold in our bodies. It also ups the stakes on living in a loving and responsible way to be able to recognise the quality of what is passing through. Thank you Monica a fantastic blog!
I love what you have written here Monica. Like you I have, and still do suffer from, anxiousness – much less than I used to but it can still creep in when I feel overwhelmed or start to doubt myself. What I picked up on from your blog is, even the people that don’t live in anxiousness like Serge Benhayon have access to it no different to you or I, the difference is in the choices they make each and every moment towards love that stops the anxiousness creeping in. I know when I make a few less than loving choices I can feel myself harden and push myself into a drive and this can be the opening for anxiousness. Catching this pattern and bringing myself back to more loving choices stops the anxiousness from taking hold.
One step towards self love builds our bank of love that holds us in that love. We all have an energetic bank inside us all, do we want to fill it with love or everything else that isn’t love.
Are we in debit with love or do we accrue it with interest? Do we make regular deposits and equally do we spend it freely, knowing there is plenty to go around?
“Having this understanding has inspired me to see that I am not any frustration or anxiety I feel.”
So agree, we are not the emotions that we feel, they are something we choose to take on or not, that is up to us.
I love what you have shared here, Monica. It is all about responsibility and the choices we make. We are all special and divine but we may not be choosing that at the time.
“I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility.”
So true Monica, we compromise on love when we are not willing to be equally responsible, that is why we make ourselves less than everything that we are.
My stars, what a mighty blog this is! Thank you, Monica as it’s a great reminder that in every moment there is choice, and the solidity of our connection, built within by consistently choosing love, that proffers more awareness, responsibility and more choice as to how to respond in any given situation. I love how you’ve shared about us all having access to the same energy, too. Certainly, without the Benhayon’s leading the way, this very liveable way, I know the truly authentic, serving and responsive life I had been seeking, may never have reached its full potential….not that I’m there yet!!
What you share here Monica is super important. If we want to see the blues and the pinks we have to allow ourselves to see the green. I know that if I want to develop a loving life I have to allow myself to feel the tension, the anxiousness, the nervousness, the frustration etc in my body, but observe it and look at it properly so I understand where I let it in and why this happened. Quite often I have found myself shying away from feeling it, or being in judgment of it. However if I simply allow myself to do the above the revelations come very naturally and clearly supporting me in letting the hardness go.
Michelle, this is the recipe for a truly examined and lived life to look at those emotions such as anger etc. that we’ve allowed in and understand how and why and learn from this how to make more loving choices next time, i.e. ‘look at it properly so I understand where I let it in and why this happened.’ – this is what being responsible truly is, to understand and address all our choices and this begins with feeling all of them and their impact without judgement. The judging just keeps us in that old choice, true examination from an understanding that we are not any emotion we choose, but that we are love allows us the space to see why we may have chosen it, and what the need or gap in us may be; and when we address that need we have more love to express.
Yes – we can’t observe something if we are in the throws of it! To objectively observe we have to feel what is going on but from the connection to self first. Before any understanding can be reached there has to be a space created between the emotion and yourself. The only way to do this is to breathe, get very still, concentrate on feeling your body, discerning the bits that feel warm and the bits that feel hard, tense or cold. Once the warmth or the heart has been connected to then is the time to allow yourself to feel the emotion and what is being carried in the hardening of the body. All that needs to be done is to honestly ask yourself, what is it that I am feeling? The answers come naturally if you are willing to know the answer. If you are open but still don’t get the answer it will come, either during the next mediation or in some other way.
Michelle, you so simply describe how it is to step back and observe and how to avoid the trap of trying to work it out when you’re in the throes of it. No working out needed, just a willingness to stop connect and feel.
It is a process I have undergone countless times! It is something I trust as I always get the answers in the end. I think trust here is the key word. When I don’t get the clarity straight away I know that with patience that everything I need will unfold as it needs to, so when you have trust in the process it allows you to let go and stops you from having expectations and conditions in outcomes.
Michelle, it’s highly opportune for me to read this today ‘when you have trust in the process it allows you to let go and stops you from having expectations and conditions in outcomes.’ So often we can get caught in an expectation of what we think life should be rather than just feeling and trusting the process as you say – there is a surrender here (not a give up) and a humility too as we allow and feel we are part of something so much bigger and that all we need to do is play our part, walk and be the love we are and everything as needed for understanding and evolution is revealed to us.
There is a much bigger picture at play than we can mentally conceive, but when I allow myself to connect to that bigger picture and know that everything is divine grace with purpose, and that I fit in perfectly to all of that just by being me and being responsible I can feel the guarantee. Everything is taken care of. Therefore no trying needed just a surrender.
It makes sense Monica when you say that if we are choosing to berate ourselves and others then we are not going to be able to have appreciation, which is also a choice. What does make a huge difference to the types of thoughts we have is our own choices to be kind and gentle with ourselves first, and this extends out to others.
Responsibility is huge. As everyone feels everything equally the deeper we live with love the more love there is in the world to be felt by all.
Great blog Monica, the beauty is having the understanding that we have the power of choice to give energy to the emotions or choose love and give power to our true essence. When we choose the power of our essence we inspire others to do the same.
This is ground breaking – BE love, Live love, BE love – “For example, someone who has mastered a way of living where they have more love and joy in their lives is neither immune to anger, nor lacks access to it – they do – but how they live means they are less likely to give attention and focus to it.
Your article clearly gives insight as to why people who wear rose coloured glasses have chosen how they want to see the world.
‘Love begates more love’ Monica, I love this line as its so true. I have so many times heard that sleep begates sleep but love begates love is gorgeous and so easy to grasp if we make the choice to accept it. A great reminder to support us to be the love that we are and the more we love and allow space for love we leave less space for the negativity of self doubt, frustrations and anger.
I love the fact of us having all thought options coming through us and that it is not about not having them but about choosing the ones that are supportive. Thank you for sharing Monica.
Absolutely Elizabeth it is so empowering to feel that in every moment we can make a different choice if we are being less than loving with ourselves and that this is available to everyone.
Thank you Monica for this great reminder that living more lovingly rather than being consumed by anxiety is all about the consistency of the choices we make in every moment and recognising the responsibility we have for the reflection of the way we are living. I totally agree that ‘Words cannot adequately describe the appreciation I feel for Serge Benhayon, the Benhayon family and the various practitioners who’ve shown me that I am love by being love, absolutely always, no matter what is going on.’
Your words here remind me Monica of a walk and how every step leads to the next. In evolution there is no jet plane, or space transporter to fast forward us to our preferred destination. Building love, awareness and understanding true beauty is a step-by-step process. It seems to start very literally with the quality we choose to walk, every day.
Such a beautiful blog to read Monica, you share with such grace and true lived wisdom. Thank-you deeply for this sharing.
I can confirm from my own experience too Monica, that all thoughts are available to me but that my consistent choice for living a life based on love and with that my expanding awareness, the thoughts that do not fit will not have my focus and will not become dominant in my daily life, but the thoughts that do fit, like the loving choice to take care for myself and humanity in all that I do becomes also available to me as it pops out and deserves the focus of me to connect me with.
Monica, your article speaks directly to my heart. I also am in training to understand more of what consequences my lifestyle has to my choices and how I often make subtle choices where I always choose emotional love or pleasing, because it is so familiar to me. But only the fact that I reached more awareness now through the support of Universal Medicine supports me to see and understand more and more the difference between the both, loving and unloving choices.
Thank you Monica, I agree in there being a choice in every moment leading to what I will be and feel in the next. That we all have access to all the energy around us is for me also huge. It means that I do not have to personalize things but can detect that which I feel and then I have a choice if I want to become that or not. Do I feel angry, then I have a choice to either go into that feeling and become angry OR I can choose to feel that there is anger but instead move tenderly or gently. I love to lie down with myself on the couch and just confirm how delicate I am and usually it only takes five or ten minutes and I feel awesome again.
Thank you Monica. I love what you are saying here about how no-one is any different than anyone else in that no-one is born more “special” or more “divine”. Any difference that is felt simply comes from choices that have been made. So if one person can make a choice to be loving then so can everyone else. Knowing we are making choices all the time is actually very empowering as it stops blame and asks us to look at our own choices more closely.
I agree Elizabeth, very empowering to realize we all have access to the same divine love and wisdom available if we choose to connect to it. And how life comes back to it’s simplest form: is this choice loving or not?
There are no special ones Elizabeth and reading your comment today reminds me that when we put people on a pedestal or create so-called ‘special’ ones it’s a neat trick we play (but ultimately futile), to avoid our own responsibility, to avoid seeing our choices, and to avoid the reflection another provides in showing us the love they live and to stay in blame, and not take the necessary loving steps for us to live and be the love we are. It’s a blind alley and a huge tantrum where we say I don’t want to see love, I don’t want to know that I too can be as loving as the one who is showing me love.
‘So if one person can make a choice to be loving then so can everyone else. Knowing we are making choices all the time is actually very empowering as it stops blame and asks us to look at our own choices more closely.’ Very true Elisabeth, when we see it for what it truly is there is no reason to blame anyone anymore just an inspiration to choose wisely.
Beautifully summed up Elizabeth. We are all equally offered the opportunities to make choices to be loving. And I agree it is super empowering to realise that we are constantly making choices and so what we are living now is through the choices that we have made, and that what we are living can change in the next moment through what we choose now.
It is also the route to true freedom because we are no longer puppets to other peoples’ emotions or choices.
Beautifully expressed Otto – we are not puppets to others’ choices, once we see, feel and understand that it’s all about what and how we choose to be in any given moment.
And adding to that, it is not just other people emotions and choices that won’t be able to ‘puppet’ us – but also our own. I have felt this so strongly recently. The difference between the thoughts and emotions that I allow in and then the actual truth of who I am and what I feel. Very, very humbling to see how radically different the two can be and how easily I can be lead by the wrong ‘version’. It makes me acutely aware of the absolute importance of a commitment to a 24/7 self-surveillance.
Otto, great observation – that self surveillance is something I’m learning is required always, as you say it’s easy to fall for our own emotions even though they’re not us, but they often give an impression of us that’s we’re comfortable with. It is indeed humbling to know and feel that always it’s about what we allow and align to, and the huge difference this makes.
Thank you Monica for an awesome blog and a great reminder of what was presented in The Way of the Livingness Sermon 26. Your blog has highlighted to me and brought to my attention a deeper level of responsibility for us to take in the choices that we make knowing that how we live in every moment is constantly affecting the whole. The more we choose and make loving choices then although everything is energy, we are less likely to be affected by those destructive energies which we all indeed have access to at any point. What governs the energy we align to is the choices that we make. .
That’s very beautiful Donna. Th other thing that I am beginning understand is that the more we accept the responsibility of our choices, the more we see and the greater the opportunity to deepen the love that we are.
I have found that since being a student of the Way of the Livingness, that I am also more solid and able to make choices without going into the anger and frustration which I used to do a lot in the past. I am not perfect at it at all, and am forever learning. As you say, it is a choice to address the areas where we are not being love or not.
Exactly Rosie and Monica, ‘it is a choice to address the areas where we are not being love or not’. The more we choose to be love, the more obvious any part of our life where we do not choose love will become and the easier it will get to understand these parts and change them.
I have found the same Rosie. The Ageless Wisdom Teachings as presented by Serge Benhayon and the Way of the Livingness has inspired me immensely to connect to the Love I am and as such be aware of the choices that I am making, if they are in honor of this Love or not. With this I have developed a far more loving way of living, through which I too am always learning, that has led to strengthening my confidence to choose to address what keeps me from developing and living with a deeper connection to Soul.
What came to me after reading your blog Monica is how much trouble we can get ourselves in (meaning anxiety, anxiousness, stress, etc) when we are constantly judging what we feel or what happens to us along the lines of ‘good’ or ‘bad’. I’ve been feeling lately how when I have the intention to merely feel everything that is going on, both inside me and in the world around me, and stay in that observer mode, I tend to not react as much to things that before I would have deemed bad or negative, but just look at them as another opportunity for me to learn and grow; a gift you might say.
It’s that inner judge, and often the jury, that gets us into trouble; the continual whispering of whether we have been “good or bad” feeding that lack of self worth that then has the potential to send us on a downward emotional spiral. Accepting these moments as an opportunity to learn and to grow instead, is definitely one priceless gift.
Yes Micheal, it’s so different when we observe and let go as much as possible any pre-conceptions we have which can colour our views – when we do this we see things as they are and we have a space in us to not get so attached and can understand that it’s just what it is, neither good or bad but just what it is, and that it’s come about through a series of choices, as a consequence of those choices, and to understand and observe this is indeed a gift, an opportunity for us to learn and grow and return even more to the love we are.
A true gift indeed – the opportunity to learn and grow and not go into self judgment or a negative running commentary.
We can never underestimate our choice to observe. Not only is it important for us and our own body but also those we interact with. We do no favours for anyone, including ourselves by taking on the emotions of others.
It strikes me as amazing that our lives can be simpler and more enjoyable just by observing experiences not absorbing them, and it makes me wonder what it is that comes in that gets in the way of us living this simplicity. It really brings home the enormity of how we are influenced by the energy we choose to think from.
That is a lovely addition to Monica’s great blogmichaelgoodheart36, observing no matter what without judgement, just opportunities to learn and grow. I am learning to see these happenings more as gifts also.
Brilliant Monica! I love what’s been presented here in that we all have access to these feelings and none are immune from emotions -whether those of our own or of others- but that it’s our choice as to how much attention we give these and what we choose to focus on and develop.
Throws perfection out of the window and brings it back to choices in every moment.
Great comment Alex. No perfection, no judgement…. just choices.
Alex, this is super powerful. It brings it straight back to us and what we are choosing.
I agree, a great point Alex – every moment is a choice to choose love or otherwise.
Ah yes Alex…that old chestnut ‘Perfection’ – out it goes and in come choices.
I agree Angela. It’s important to acknowledge everything that we feel. But through observing ourselves we can see past our emotions and not get submerged in them.
Observation is essential and part of a science to be learned, because without we are enmeshed in and identified by whatever comes around or actually in, i.e. the energy that enters us when we don´t identify it as something that does not belong to our true making and then can make us what we are not.
Alex, the observation you speak of is the base that is required, as indeed without it we do not know where we are, and I love how you describe it as a science, it reminds me that it’s an ever learning evolving thing, not something I somehow grasp just once and move on. If we approach observation as a science then we can allow that enquiry, that curiosity, that openness that can come with science and what science truly can be, and we can understand and learn there is no perfection here, just an on-going willingness to observe, be honest, learn and choose based on the energy we align to.
Sounds delicious to me – observation, a living everyday science.
Well said Angela – ‘we all have access to these feelings and none are immune from emotions’. This highlights how we are all equal and all here to equally learn, develop and master living our Divinity on earth together through choosing to connect to our Love.
You state a beautiful and simple fact with the ease it deserves: We are here to master living Divinity on earth, i.e. the divinity we already are, come from and return to, not to become masters of some Divinity we still need to evolve to.
Great comment Angela. It’s always down to choices, what we choose is ultimately what we receive.
‘There is a responsibility here: the more I choose love, the more aware I become of any areas which are not loving… I cannot be more loving and aware without being willing to take more responsibility.’ Monica I can’t tell you how supportive this will be for me as I continue to let go of the judgement and harshness I at times hold against myself and develop a much more gentle and loving way to be with myself no matter what is going on or coming up for me.
Yes I loved this line too Sally, I felt it really exposed the fact that with awareness comes responsibility and the possibility to connect more deeply and lovingly with self. I too can struggle with being too hard or judgemental with myself and the choices I have made, but I am working more and more to appreciate the loving choices I make and that if I react harshly there is more for me to explore and expose about the way I am choosing to live. As you share being gentle and loving with ourselves no matter what comes up.
I loved this article Monica. Superb.
Same here Sally, superb, and what i especially loved and felt like a rinse-effect after your hair’s been washed of the shampoo and squeaky clean …..was the aspect of non-immunity – i.e. that no one is exempt from this, no matter who they are. If we have access to emotions and thoughts of anger, frustration, anxiousness, then so too do we have access to the divine wisdom of our universe too. How we live in respect of such non-immunity – is the Gift of humbleness.
Monica, thank you for this article describing the effect that feelings can have on us and it is our choice whether we react to or just observe these feelings because we feel everything.
Yes Susan, it is a choice to react to what we are feeling or we can stop, allow and observe. I have been noticing how I do not want to observe these ‘un-favoured’ feelings recently and this blog and your comment are a great reminder for me to give myself the space to observe.
True Susan – the power in your response is in the word ‘reaction’, if we react then there is something going on within us that holds attachment, expectation or maybe comparison. To observe means that we are aware but the feelings hold no influence over the choices we make. Everything is available, the choice is ours as to the impact they have in the livingness of our lives.
We do feel everything and if I’m honest, sometimes I hate it. Sometimes I can’t stand what I’m feeling because in short, it’s not always nice. But, I recognise that there is a choice to feel and allow the feeling or feel and try to avoid the feeling which always always ends in compounded sadness and anger.
Choosing to have full responsibility about the choices we make to support our own body is the most beautiful and loving gift one can give themselves.
I know for me once I become aware of the anxiousness , it took me to a deeper understanding on how I can support myself and what it meant for me.
To connect deeper to my inner most and deliver the absolute truth and not hold back.
Brilliant blog Monica, giving further explanation and understanding to how the way one lives their life, and their choice to be self loving has affect on the way they see, react or respond to something.
So true Johannebrown17 and a great reminder that once again each moment there is a choice to live in a loving or unloving way.
Absolutely Johanne, when life is lived with anxiousness, we’re not asked to ‘do the job’, because we’re communicating the sense (and reality) in not being capable or equipped to do it, and hence take responsibility. In exploring responsibility, what i’ve come to really realise is that it’s really down to SPACE, because in space, we can see what’s there, accept what’s there, and respond. Space creation allows a confidence to be lived, and as Monica’s words confirm : “if we’re living in a way which is taking care of ourselves, in whatever small steps they may be, we have more space and possibility to make more loving choices, rather than choosing anger, frustration or anxiety”. SPACE rocks.
Jo this is such a great point that we chose our outcome. Every choice does affect us in the way we see, respond, react and live in every moment. How not living in the present moment and living in the past or future leaves you in place where you never feel content comfortable in.
Precisely johannebrown17, very well said. I have realised this for myself that it is not so easy to eliminate anxiousness when I am not consistently choosing love and truth.
Spot on Johanne, we have the power to choose how we experience, it’s always a choice.
Thank you Monica. Very powerful and very helpful to read your blog this morning. It’s like the tap is on – or it is off. You either feel it all – or you don’t feel any of it.
Gorgeous simple recap of this amazing article: ‘the tap is on – or it is off”. And yet in a way we feel everything all the time, we cannot stop feeling and we can choose to not be aware of our feelings.
I love it Gayle, the tap is either on or off and we are all experts in how and when to turn it off. However it does take dedication to switch it back on even if we want it to happen as we need to rid ourselves of all the stuff we needed to accumulate to turn it off.
Very true that it is like a tap but what we are turning off or on is not ‘feeling’, we can never stop feeling, but the awareness of what we are feeling and to keep that tap on takes dedication. As Monica says, “I would not be where I am today without the work I’ve done to address the anxiousness of how I’ve lived and the changes I’ve since made to be more gentle, tender and loving with me”.
Well expressed Judith and a beautiful expansion on Gayle’s apt description. On or off – it’s that simple and empowering!
I love this analogy Gayle: “It’s like the tap is on – or it is off:” We can’t be selective and choose what we want to feel, or not, as we feel everything all of the time, and to switch that awareness off doesn’t mean to say that the feeling has gone away, but has simply been buried, waiting to be expressed in one way or another at a later date, often as illness and disease.
Great analogy Gayle. So often the tension I feel is my trying to syphon off just a bit of water in manageable amounts for fear of being overwhelmed by all the water flowing. Such a controlling way to live when I could simply just allow myself to be, trusting myself and God with love.
True Karin, and the destructive way to create the tension for me is to attack my body.
Yes Gayle, it does feel like that with anxiousness. Sometimes I feel it before I realise it has built up to it. Anxiousness still creeps in for me without me realising it’s coming until it’s too late. I am starting to look at what lead me to being anxious and hope to pin point things and bring more awareness so I won’t fall into it so easily. It is really down to my every choice building up to the anxiousness, was it loving or not? If love was consistently present in my every choice, then anxiousness would not be able to creep in.
Gayle, it may sound crazy but your comment has just given me an aha moment. When we choose to switch the light on we are choosing to allow and feel everything, when we choose to switch our light off we are numbing our feeling and simultaneously dulling our light. The simplicity of your comment allowed me to appreciate just how harmful it is when we choose to numb ourselves over feeling what is there to be felt.
When experiencing anxiousness it is an old pattern for me to ask “what did I do?” and fall back into critiquing myself, which keeps the anxiousness where it is, and anxiousness is super uncomfortale to feel. Instead of going into the wrong, I choose now to say “thank you body for your deep sensitivity” when I feel anxious, what this appreciation then opens is a feeling of joy and deep love from the heart and allows a deeper understanding of what my body is supporting me to feel and uncover. How much have we truly appreciated our bodies for? Our bodies are consistently supporting us to choose deeper care and love for ourselves, with a deeper appreciation for our bodies, it is also love and appreciation that comes back to us.
Oh that is gorgeous Adele….thanking the body for its deep sensitivity. It is letting us know that we are not equipped for something right at that moment so to surrender to the body, supports us to feel more connected and equipped to deal with what is in front of us (and not within us as we sometimes can feel).
Sarah, surrendering to and with the body is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves and our body.
I am learning that more and more Rik.
This is yet another deeply inspiring way to master anxiety and one of such simplicity. To appreciate the body for its ongoing service for us.
Adele it’s really beautiful to read how you appreciate your body and the wisdom it communicates. ‘allows a deeper understanding of what my body is supporting me to feel and uncover.’ I am inspired. My body isn’t my enemy for feeling the discomfort of anxiety but is letting me know where I’ve left love and how I can support myself to come back.
Awesome awesome blog Monica ❤️❤️❤️ Thank you for spelling this out so clearly – I absolutely LOVE the analogy with not wanting to see green – I totally get in an instant that I and we must feel all feelings and that if I block out the painful ones to protect myself then I’m also blocking out all the awesome amazing feelings too… Your blog has brought an incredible new depth of understanding to me – thank you ⭐️
I agree, Monica has presented this simple truth so clearly.
I agree Rachel, to stop our sensitivity so as not to get hurt, we actually end up getting more hurt because we are cutting off our natural ability to feel whats going on. I know that when I can feel what’s happening in a situation it’s so much easier not to react because I can see where the situation is coming from. But when I am not choosing to feel it’s far more easy to take things personally and get upset.
I agree Rachael, what an awesome opportunity to re-commit to life knowing that all is to be felt, and very importantly accepted, so to live a basis of truth.
Thank you mOnic for your beautiful blog breaking down how we get effected by emotions, and how they are a choice. It certainly is easier to become reactive, hard, aggressive, defensive when we are tired but the simple antidote to that is to live in a way that is caring of ourselves and express all our love, because then when we feel ourselves affected by these emotions we can look inside and ask why. Not from a point of trying to correct them because they are wrong, but from feeling how they are harmful and draining to ourselves and others.