I have worked as a hairdresser for most of my life, a role I found to be always busy and in high demand, and one where I placed extreme expectations on myself. Not only did I do this in the workplace but also at home, even though at the time I believed that for me work and home were two separate things.
I found hairdressing a job that was run by the clock; a clock that made me feel like I never had enough time to get done what was needed, let alone time for myself to stop, eat or re-assess the day.
My experience of work was:
- Being the one everyone else relied on, the one that could do it all
- Placing huge amounts of pressure on myself to perform
- Often disliking my work due to pressures I had placed on myself
- Rarely able to achieve or fulfil what I thought was needed during the day
- Overwhelm (before my day even started, it often felt like one big spin)
- Unrealistic expectations, creating a stress-full environment for all concerned.
Over time, my body started to develop illness and disease, such as back and hip pain from being on my feet for long periods, shoulder problems from repetitive motions, not to mention digestive issues due to the lack of time I allowed myself to stop and eat. I was then diagnosed with fibromyalgia, an illness that rendered me unable to work. I was in constant pain, with aches in most of my joints and a body that was exhausted from even the simplest of chores.
Eventually I realised that I could no longer continue with the way I was working as a hairdresser or living in general, (or, should I say ‘existing’, at home and at work), watching my life disappear in front of my very own eyes.
I was told by the medical profession to adjust my lifestyle accordingly. I was sent to pain management clinics to learn how to manage the pain and symptoms, and started taking medications. I also started doing gentle stretches and walking to try and help reduce the inflammation and keep my joints mobile.
Although I could feel there had to be a way to make other choices that would give me a life and not an existence, at the same time I began to think there would never be a solution, or an end to what was slowly becoming worse.
Introduced to Serge Benhayon – Time to Get Serious about My Choices and My Commitment
Then one day an old client gave me the card of a practitioner by the name of Serge Benhayon: my first thought was, he must be just another hippy dude in Byron with spiritual jargon. However, my life was dismal; I was 28 and living in my mother’s garage… so I had nothing to lose.
Serge Benhayon certainly was not your average Joe, and he certainly was not full of hippy jargon; he wore shorts and a t-shirt and didn’t smell like he needed a shower or had fallen into a Patchouli bottle. He didn’t try to sell himself or anything else, he simply listened, observed and did some hands on esoteric healing. It was simple, but the most powerful thing I had ever experienced, and what I could feel was just about to change my entire life and wellbeing. This led to becoming aware of choices that I had made and I was now able to feel why it was that I had got to this point in the first place.
I was no longer seeking a solution, or looking for a band-aid that would best fit. It was time to get serious, to get to the nitty gritty of everything I had buried over the years that I did not want to feel or express, and let me tell you there was plenty.
I began packing food for work, having breaks when needed, going to the toilet when I needed to instead of ‘hanging out’, observing how I was standing while doing a client’s hair, having short walks before and after work, and taking the time to feel my body. I began feeling how I was before I started work and how I was when I finished; it was this quality that I took from home to work or from work to home, until being at work and being at home became the same quality.
At work I began to accept I didn’t have to know or do it all; that everyone had something to offer and when we all worked together everything that was needed would be achieved. Some of us were great with customers and others were great with marketing; both were equally needed in order to support the business depending on the skills we had to offer at that time. It was here that I began to ask for help, to admit when I did not know something and to accept that there may be days where not everything I wanted to do would be completed.
These were big steps for me; letting go of old patterns and behaviours and ways of doing things, breaking the mould so to speak, was work in itself. I began to stop having expectations of how my day should be and in doing so, found that not only did I feel less stressed and exhausted, more was actually achieved (without trying) and completed with clarity and an understanding of others and myself.
It is through making the commitment to love and care for myself, and allowing myself to feel the hurts of the past that I had buried, that have led me to live the life I have now; without the symptoms of fibromyalgia, doing more now in a day than ever without getting tired, fatigued or exhausted, and with a body that is now truly vital and alive, and with eyes that glow and skin that shines.
Now working as a hairdresser and living in a way that is open to what is needed, I am allowing myself to do what is needed when it is needed. I am naturally getting more done and am now able to support my colleagues and family in a way that I wasn’t able to before. I find my days at work are no longer draining or exhausting, but are fun and light.
Observing the way I was at work also allowed me to see how I was at home, and I began to ask myself “How could I be one way at home and another way at work?” It made no sense. I realised that making changes with the way I was at home and the quality of my self-care helped me with how I was at work, and vice versa.
As a result, the quality of my life at home and work have become one; I am more approachable, and no longer living my day in complete overwhelm, exhaustion and chaos. I can connect to people without rushing around doing 100 things at once, and am able to be with them and to have true connections instead of the shallow contacts I had in the past.
When I watch myself now, I observe myself doing what is needed, stopping when I feel like things are getting chaotic, feeling what is needed and then going forth from there. I’ve found I’m no longer trying to move forward from and in the chaos, but that I can choose to move forward from the stillness within myself – the stillness that I reconnected to by healing my hurts and letting go of the expectations I had of how I should live my life.
Having developed a quality and foundation of self-care which is always deepening, I now have a foundation for me that enables me to be me, no matter where I am or what I am doing.
Inspired by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, for without their inspiration and ongoing support none of this would be possible.
By Nicole Serafin, Woman, Wife, Mother, Hairdresser, Tintenbar NSW
Further Reading:
Is there Such A Thing As A Job With No Stress?
High Stress, Poor Health: Can We Change The Way We Work?
Elegance And Purpose – At Work
Bringing The Quality of Love Into Cleaning
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
“the quality of my life at home and work have become one” the essential work/life balance is when they become equal and at-one.
I loved this statement, ‘I began to stop having expectations of how my day should be and in doing so, found that not only did I feel less stressed and exhausted, more was actually achieved (with out trying)’. This statement is quite powerful in that it is what we often go to with overwhelm and I actually understand that this is what I go to from time to time.
Even though it is far from perfect, I’m learning to introduce no expectations more and more and it seems, the process becomes refined more and more. Then we are less stressed and exhausted. So once we have mastered one thing, we are offered another without it coming across as though it is daunting process.
I can’t wait to let go of more expectations and work in such a way that I m not constrained by time.
Beautiful to read how you now have a forever deepening foundation of self care, ‘Having developed a quality and foundation of self-care which is always deepening, I now have a foundation for me that enables me to be me, no matter where I am or what I am doing.’
The only hippy part of Serge is when we go hip-hip-hoary for Serge Benhayon.
Greg, your comment made me smile. Many of us who have met Serge Benhayon feel this way as our lives have changed for the better. So I celebrate with you too.
Absoulutely
Absoulutely 👋 hips hold those ways or beliefs that ✋ stop any true celebration.
The traps you have talked about, the self imposed pressures, the neglect of self etc etc, are all factors I too can relate to Nicole and I am sure many other women and men can relate to this too. To say this out loud and admit it is one part of the healing, and then to make the choices to look after ourselves and truly support ourselves on a consistent level is the next part of the healing. One cannot be without the other.
Nicole, this is a big turn around! It is a beautiful example of what can truly be done despite any condition or diagnosis and that the choices we make on a daily basis are indeed having many impacts in our life. Thank you for your sharing.
Being aware of how the choices you had made were not supportive is the first step in making new choices, ‘This led to becoming aware of choices that I had made and I was now able to feel why it was that I had got to this point in the first place.’
Yes and it takes a commitment to feel that by changing our movements and building consistency. It is a very personal relationship and the fury comes when we realise we are the ones who do not feel we are worth the investment, not that anyone else doesn’t feel we are worth it.
To consider the pain you were in to how you are now, we should be studying you! Living two lives, being sucked into the illusion of time and the trap of chasing it, trying to do it all, it all creates a world that does not have space for contemplation so it feels like a trap we can never get out of. Pain sometimes offers us a moment of pause so we can re-consider our personal choices and bring more attention to the smallest movements, the smallest detail and know we are worth that level of attention.
We are buried neck deep in our issues, ideals, beliefs and pictures on how we are told life should be, but we all know that the model isn’t working no matter how much we have tried to fix it. So what would happen if we were encouraged from children to build a foundation of self care and self love I wonder what society would look and be like?
The way we are living is harsh on ourselves, that’s why we are so unwell, the problem is we see illness as random and life this way as normal. The power is with us though, we can create health issues or good health by listening to and honouring our bodies.
Bringing in more caring and nurturing is a great beginning, ‘I began packing food for work, having breaks when needed, going to the toilet when I needed to instead of ‘hanging out’, observing how I was standing while doing a client’s hair, having short walks before and after work, and taking the time to feel my body.’
When you meet Serge Benhayon one can not stop and reflect the choices they have made as his great light offers us through reflection a way to truly change.
Feels very inspiring to see someone like Serge Benhayon who is not selling anything. There is no any pose of guru or trying to convince anyone…just being and expressing the Truth in the simplest way I could ever seen. I appreciate very much having his reflection in my life.
Yes, it is for us to choose for ourselves, there is no need or pull from him. It is so alien to the way we are sold in marketing and have come to consider normal in life that we question its simplicity! Bonkers!!!
Yes, Serge Benhayon keeps it simple, he lives and reflects a loving way of living.
‘I find my days at work are no longer draining or exhausting, but are fun and light.’ Living in a world where many people seems to be anxious, stressed and bored and being able to say that is a true success.
It’s very beautiful to read such a life-changing experience. Nicole the step you made in accepting that you needed support was very accurate and very responsible. You makes me see that true responsibility is not about doing or ticking the boxes, not about completing tasks…but bringing in to our everyday life the quality you talked about, which starts by living a deeper connection with ourselves. Thanks for sharing
Letting support in is a beautiful change! Many people think they have to do it alone and that it equals strength, or perhaps they feel they aren’t worth being cared for and loved, but being vulnerable and letting others support us is very beautiful. It took me some time to allow this for myself, but now my life is much richer, and I can see how much learning and enjoyment there is for everyone when we allow others to support us.
The quality we live with is super important at all times, ‘I began feeling how I was before I started work and how I was when I finished; it was this quality that I took from home to work or from work to home, until being at work and being at home became the same quality.’
When we let go of expectations our life changes for the better and so does the life of everyone around us.!
This is great – because it’s not that we need to remove ourselves from the craziness or the business of everyday life – we simply need to find a different way to lead our lives within that.
Serge Benhayon is an inspiration in supporting anyone to observe how they are choosing to live and the consequences that are revealed in the body.
It is truly powerful what can be achieved when we take responsibility for ourselves and get honest about the way that we are living.
When we build a solid foundation of self-care and self-love we bring a quality to our work and home life that is deeply healing and supportive for all.
What a difference commitment makes and taking full responsibility on what your here to bring. . .
Subscribing to lies is bad for our health. Time must be one of the biggest ones. We’re run by this illusion we are getting somewhere on a linear line and conveniently forget that life is about space and expansion.
The more we learn that life is not about doing things per sec but about the quality in which we do things the more we will realise that the constant doing is damaging our body. There is a way to do things that can support our body and we learn this by listening to our body.
“This led to becoming aware of choices that I had made and I was now able to feel why it was that I had got to this point in the first place.” Becoming aware of our choices and why we make them is hugely empowering and healing.
Learning to move without having us in mind is a self-harming way; the assured way to create on our own a life of misery.
“…… the quality of my life at home and work have become one ……..” to have no difference between home and work, just one flow that ever deepens and expands in joy.
“Having developed a quality and foundation of self-care which is always deepening, I now have a foundation for me that enables me to be me, no matter where I am or what I am doing” – this is a great reminder that life is one big package and no one part is separate from others. We often look at an area of life where we think we have a problem and try finding a solution, but my experience is that how I am in a certain area of my life is because of the way I am in the other part of life.
It’s truly an amazing recovery, with the high rates of illness and disease worldwide we have to ask how much of this is lifestyle related, even conditions not considered so? The stress we are placing our bodies under is huge but it’s in part hidden by the fact we currently call such pressures normal life.
A beautiful description how we can be very, very capable but use that capability to harm ourselves, something I have seen many of us do.
How common is it to not go to the toilet when needed? This is a very abusive behaviour to our bladder. It’s almost as if we say “you’re not worthy of my attention until it’s so painful that I can’t hold it”!
“This led to becoming aware of choices that I had made and I was now able to feel why it was that I had got to this point in the first place.”- This is a fascinating sentence Nicole in that it shows how we can go about life on a kind of auto pilot without really ever realising that all our choices and actions have lead to the current state of affairs we find ourselves in, and most times nothing changes until we experience an illness or disease condition that forces us to look for the truth. Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine certainly provide all the truth necessary to help bring us back to living with true vitality as you have demonstrated amazingly here, Nicole.
Your experience is testament to the unquestionable power of self-care as a way to heal ourselves, and that each choice to self-care counts. I imagine that people who met you back then and see you now will find the change hard to believe.
“Often disliking my work due to pressures I had placed on myself.” Learning to stay with myself and relieving self-imposed pressure to achieve and I have been amazed at my whole relationship and quality with what I do has changed and how much more enjoyable it is.
“…., stopping when I feel like things are getting chaotic, feeling what is needed and then going forth from there.” This is such a powerful and practical advice so that one is not overwhelmed by living life.
‘It is through making the commitment to love and care for myself, and allowing myself to feel the hurts of the past that I had buried, that have led me to live the life I have now’. This is a beautiful reminder of how powerful love is when we make it our living way, more of the ‘what is not’ is revealed and we can begin to let it go.
Feeling the hurts from the past and resolving them is such a powerful healing and allows one to evolve in life unburdened.
” Often disliking my work due to pressures I had placed on myself ”
going from this to
I find my days at work are no longer draining or exhausting, but are fun and light.
This is quite a wonder thank you for sharing.
Yes, that is a very big change and I haven’t heard of such a change very often.
I cannot but see the irony that people, particularly females go to their hairdresser to be pampered. And yet often the hairdresser is struggling themselves because they don’t value and care for their own bodies to the level they need to while attending to the demands of their job. It’s the same principle for all caring professions, you cannot care for another unless you care for yourselves.
What a complete turnaround, and one that I see still being lived. Not only do refine your foundation you now offer to many another way to work, live, live and inspire people.
Wow what an amazing turnaround Nicole. It just goes to show that caring for ourself in a consistent way does build a foundation that can completely change our erratic way of living in the world to one that truly supports us to bring more of ourselves to all we do, opening up more space and time than we could ever imagine.
We are so driven by our to do lists, and so easily forget the person behind the list, the one that brings the quality to each task, each moment, each movement. Its great to be reminded of this simple but often overlooked fact of life.
It is quite remarkable the turnaround you describe here Nicole and it is quite incredible what happens when we take responsibility for the quality of our Livingness – it makes so much sense though.
Taking responsibility for the quality of one’s Livingness is the greatest medicine there is.
It makes sense that the way we are at home carried through into how we approach our work life and vice versa. Making that connection we can be more aware of the way in which we are in all areas of our life and how this impacts the quality in the way we do anything, which feeds back into our wellbeing and the quality of any service we provide…
Yes, taking responsibility for how we are in any given moment is what supports and sustains us in all areas of our lives. If I’m steady and consistent at home then that’s the quality I bring with me into work, and the foundation for the day.
Developing our quality and foundation of self care is a great focus and support in life, which takes away the need to prove ourselves in any situation. We know all we need then comes from within.
“it was this quality that I took from home to work or from work to home, until being at work and being at home became the same quality.” Quality is the key to life being in the flow of love in all we do.
Yes, work and home can become equally joyful and that is quite an experience to have.
Another testament to the healing power of self-love. Wise teachers have been telling us that self-love is the way for a very long time. Perhaps we should start to listen.
It’s easy to get swept up in the chaos of life but when we move through life in our own terms we get to see that we have a distinct choice at all times.
Not having an expectation of how our day should be is actually huge, we all want to plan and try to control every aspect of our day, but this leaves no space for the day to unfold naturally. The amazing thing is when we allow this we are actually more productive less stressed and more enjoyable to be around with the bonus of not being exhausted at the end of the day.
Yes, I can totally relate to this. When I let go of rigidly following my to-do list and do what I feel needs to be done and not what I think has to be done from my head, and when I combine that with focus, being present and committing to doing it, then there is more space in my day and I enjoy doing whatever it is so much more. I find myself craving far less some ‘me time’ as a reward, because I haven’t exhausted myself with all the activity.
To consider if our quality is the same at home and at work, now that is a great question Nicole, to check in throughout the day and feel and see how I am, and what quality I am in, and of course this has huge impacts not just on me but on all around me. This is how we instigate change, by taking that time and care with ourselves and, by natural extension, others.
Who wouldn’t want a hairdresser that lives this quality? What a fantastic sharing Nicole – a recipe for success in any industry.
Our movements establish a quality band that gets to be familiar to us and that ends up feeding our movements. Given that it is us who eventually walk ourselves to ill-being, it is very difficult to walk ourselves out of it unless we deeply change our movements.
Having to do it all often puts us in the ‘saviour’ role. The person that will always get things done but at what costs. When we make life about responsibility and speaking up when this is not taking place it may not make others feel comfortable but it is expressing that together we can make life more harmonious than on our own.
It’s exhausting living according to our expectations of ourself and others, and then reacting to situations that haven’t played out as we expect them to.
When we concentrate on improving the quality of how we are at work, it can’t but carry over into our home lives and our community activities – in all the roles we play, wherever we play them. We live One Life and we take whatever quality we’ve just been in, into our next moment, our next role. So it’s worth investing in a relationship with our quality – nurturing it, planning ways to maintain it – as it’s an essential expression of ourselves in life and impacts all we think, feel and do.
Very inspiring, and how you are bringing so much more through for humanity now, ‘I can choose to move forward from the stillness within myself – the stillness that I reconnected to by healing my hurts and letting go of the expectations I had of how I should live my life.’
Expectations can really drain us, how wonderful that you called these and chose to let them go, and instead started to love and care for yourself, ‘It is through making the commitment to love and care for myself, and allowing myself to feel the hurts of the past that I had buried, that have led me to live the life I have now;’
It’s amazing how much harder we can make things by the pressures and expectations that we put on ourself or others – it’s like we’re loading up an activity to be so much more draining than it needs to be, adding in complication and unnecessary strife…
It is all one life … technically we know this.. but do we understand what that means, and energetically do we live it? When we bring clarity, love, care, detail and beauty to all aspects of everything we do, equally, our whole life becomes seamless. And, yes, I still have my L plates on in that regard – but I can also feel the enormity of when I do bring it , and the quality of those perfectly imperfect, seamless days.
“I am allowing myself to do what is needed when it is needed” Just doing something when it is needed and not before it is needed is a great way to not get exhausted. I often find myself worrying about the future, so in other words I am already doing it but it is not needed yet and this creates a lot of tension and exhaustion.
Great observation Lieke. I too have been realising where I can tire myself out by trying to control things and by allowing things to unfold and letting other people make their own mistakes, and not expecting anything of ourselves either, we free ourselves from unnecessary complication.
What a great awareness to have, once you understand this you can then make new loving choices, ‘This led to becoming aware of choices that I had made and I was now able to feel why it was that I had got to this point in the first place.’
Self care is a movement and expression of love unto itself. What unfolds and develops from the movements to care for oneself offers us so much in terms of our behaviours, why we do things and how we can then move in a way that supports us and doesn’t put tension on our bodies. There is always more to learn and explore when we consistently choose more and more love.
For me letting go of my unattainable expectations of myself has removed so much potential stress from my life and then gradually introducing a deep level of self-care has supported me to work in a much more sustainable way that allows me to support others rather than imposing my overwhelm and underlying frustration on them.
‘I can choose to move forward from the stillness within myself’. Recognising that this is a choice has been crucial to transforming the way I am in life, both at work and at home, and allowed me to recover from my cyclical exhaustion and feelings of overwhelm. Recently I have been feeling a deeper level of stillness and how this supports me through my day and it is great to reflect on this and appreciate just how much my life has changed since first attending a presentation by Serge Benhayon.
‘It was here that I began to ask for help, to admit when I did not know something and to accept that there may be days where not everything I wanted to do would be completed.’ These are huge life changing things. I know asking for help, giving myself permission to not have to know it all, and being ok with not completing a to-do list have changed my life and the relationship I have with myself.
“Having developed a quality and foundation of self-care which is always deepening, I now have a foundation for me that enables me to be me, no matter where I am or what I am doing.” Self-care is so important. It should be taught in all schools and institutions that prepare young people for life. Without self-care we see burn-out amongst doctors, nurses, teachers etc. Yet so many still view self-care as being selfish – putting yourself first. But why wouldn’t we? How can we truly support others if we are not truly supporting ourselves? It would be like jumping into a quagmire and trying to rescue another (with the risks that may ensue), rather than throwing them a lifeline from the safety of the shore.
When we realise that overwhelm is a choice – we can choose to move differently. I know for myself that I am more than capable of the work and life that is ahead of me – it’s just a matter of embracing and not wasting a single moment.
Amazing turnaround from fibromyalgia to being painfree and working more than ever – in a supportive rhythm and with joy.
Understanding that self-care is a foundation for fulfilled lives should be taught at all schools and in all jobs… class 101 for life!
Yes Chris, self care should be taught at schools as it would support children to build a loving foundation that would carry them through life.
‘the quality of my life at home and work have become one’ This is great Nicole – we cannot live in parts…it doesn’t make sense.
Yes Jenny – Why live in parts when we are with ourselves the whole time? When we live in parts we are putting far more value on the external world at the expense of our inner world.
Awesome Nicole. What we sometimes don’t realise is that when have had stressful or hurtful experiences, we begin to carry them and it affects the way we walk, and move even around our homes , which means that we don’t live in true flow or harmony/healing. This is why we seek pleasure in other ways like stimulation, food and pursuits etc.
This is beautiful Nicole and the transformation you have gone through reads like a true miracle – I have known you for many years and have been witness to the gorgeous changes you have made to your life that are very inspiring for all.
Awesome appreciation of your transformation Nicole. Embracing self-care and self-love can change our lives from exhaustion and discomfort to a natural vitality and joy in our lives. You have shown us how this can be done and how important, supportive and amazing it is to make these loving choices consistently.
It’s amazing how quickly self love and self care have an effect on our energy levels, vitality and commitment to life. I was initially pretty skeptical about the power of it- I felt like I was making self loving choices but they weren’t doing anything. But actually, I was really doing these from my head- making a few token changes here but not changing the energy that I was doing anything in – basically trying to make it look good on the surface. It’s only when we commit to self care because we actually want to take care of ourselves, because it feels good and we feel more of who we are, that it makes a difference and things start to shift.
Yes Bryony, that’s the key point to feel the changes we need in our life: ‘It’s only when we commit to self care because we actually want to take care of ourselves, because it feels good and we feel more of who we are, that it makes a difference and things start to shift’.
How very beautiful Nicole; developing a quality and foundation for self care indicates a wonderful commitment and appreciation for yourself. I was inspired by what you have presented in this blog, thank you.
A great blog Nicole and something all hairdressers would benefit from reading as I know one, and the pressure in that job is pretty intense! Not only is there an expectation to look a certain way at work, there is pressure to maintain clients, sell products and keep up with the trends etc.. when did simple old hair cutting and self expression become so competitive?
‘Having developed a quality and foundation of self-care which is always deepening, I now have a foundation for me that enables me to be me, no matter where I am or what I am doing.’ A beautiful celebration of the power of self care.
I feel true commitment and dedication in your words Nicole. Super-inspiring and truly powerful.
It’s true – there’s a way we think we need to work, based on what we directly learn from others at work, our own observations and a whole bunch of expectations and ideals around how we think our work should be undertaken. Taking our power back at work rather than being a victim to it is a very empowering thing to do, as Nicole’s story illustrates.
Taking control of and responsibility for one area of our lives then naturally ripples out to all other areas.
We can do and give so much just by the quality of our presence in any given task.
We don’t know what is actually possible in life until we open up to the potential of there being more than our current ‘normal’.
Amazing turnaround Nicole. Thankyou for sharing.
This is a great reminder, Nicole. Sometimes it feels like there’s no way to make a change because of the circumstances and there’s no way out, but what we CAN change – the quality in and with which we live is what brings the greatest impact to our life.
Without that foundational level of self-care you write about Nicole it can be so easy to get swallowed up in a downward spiral when intensity hits. Having those building blocks in place gives a level of something to come back to when needed.
Self care = foundational building blocks of our self worth, and our relationship with ourselves and all others. Trying to bypass or find short cuts so as not do to the work of looking after ourselves just means that we don’t have that rock solid support and foundation of knowing and enjoying who we truly are, when we most need to feel it.
Nicole what you share is the foundation of change. It starts with the smallest of awareness that then opens up doors that have been closed for many lives.
We spend so much time at work that self-care is imperative, and yet for most of us as you say, even simple care such as going to the toilet when we need to is overridden. Self-care at work changes your life dramatically and it can be as simple as a daily honouring of the body.
Nicole having had IBS myself I found that I started to give up that life would be joyful or amazing but instead that I would be suffering and that was simply how it was. Being the determined type I never wanted to fully accept this so kept on seeking out a way to address / fix the pain I would feel each day. It sounds like although your hairdressing experience was different there is a common thread and when I met Serge Benhayon what came to transpire is not simply a quick fix but a way of living life that is truly supportive and one where as a result my condition faded away
At the time, all these points about stress in our working life feel like they are coming from outside of us. They feel like pressures being imposed on us that create the tension. But really each of the pressures listed, ie. being the one who can do it all, or having unrealistic expectations of yourself, all comes from inside of us. It is this aspect of our lives that we have the power to change, how we respond to the situation.
It is interesting how the word doing can often be mistaken for purpose. Although the two words are so different in meaning they can become the same when we bring drive into the equation. When we live from a purpose in all aspects of our life be it our working professions, doing the laundry or cleaning the floors when we know there is a purpose to it all, doing seems to fall to the waste side. I have found building a foundation that is based on purpose for each day has been a great support in helping me stay steady when dealing with the curve balls in life.
If how we do life exhausts us, we should consider changing it. It is worth it.
Awesome to read as I finally admit it’s time to get down to the nitty gritty and look straight in the eye what I’ve tried to bury all my life.
It is remarkable how many of us have foundations in place that are actually detrimental to us in light of the way we then move through life from them … and yet they remain unaddressed and unaltered. The power of introducing self-love to this and moving with this in mind, clearly has the potential to be incredibly transformational in all areas of our lives.
What a beautiful transformation Nicole; the changes and choices you have made, and the responsibility you have taken is very inspiring. I love what you have expressed here;
“Having developed a quality and foundation of self-care which is always deepening, I now have a foundation for me that enables me to be me, no matter where I am or what I am doing”.
Such an amazing support offered by Serge Benhayon to many people over many years, you could say before his time. It’s inspiring to see people like this turn not only their lives around but turn their illnesses around with relatively simple things like self care. This when you read it makes logical sense but yet it still has us suspicious or reacting. I wonder what would happen if we all followed in the footsteps of this blog? Responsibility like this is difficult for us to swallow and from where I stand this is where most of the critique comes from, us not wanting to see that level of responsibility let alone live it ourselves. We can hide all manner of things in this world because we have walked away from listening to how things feel and made life about a myriad of other things. When it all comes down to it, no matter what we are saying we each hold an individual which goes out to a group responsibility to live and move in a quality that supports us all. We look around and don’t see many leading this responsibility and so when there is a few it’s easy to rubbish them then to listen to what is being said. Serge Benhayon is consistently bringing us all to more of the responsibility we are naturally from, we can fight it or see the blessing each part of this brings. Those that see the blessing are able to move more freely in the world and slowly change how we all look at things. This isn’t a new way but an old way that we allowed to go to sleep. If we truly look through history we see this responsibility said many times over and so in that way have we really gone anyway or have we just changed the setting? Time to live the responsibility we are again or not it’s your choice. Equally in that choice we need to allow others to live how they feel as well.
There is nothing spiritual or hippy about Serge Benhayon and I have seen and met a few ‘guru’s’. What he presents and delivers is the truth and it is for us to do what we like with that truth, there is absolutely no sell or justification from him.
I’ve become very aware of how the industry I am in is also run on time. I’m noticing how much the quality I start my day in is not the same quality I finish my day in as I put myself under so much pressure to get it all done when frequently it is not needed.
There must be so many people who can relate to this sharing Nicole, and particularly I would think in the hairdressing industry. I love that share about asking for help, what a difference it can make when we accept we can’t do it all, and allow others to support us. And also to stop when you feel it gets chaotic, and just hit the reset button, I know that feeling and how much we can change in an instant when we give ourselves a breath.
I remember when I first started to work as a teacher how I would start my day already in overwhelm and I had a constant high level if anxiety. I can relate to feeling my job was run by the clock, since each lesson is an hour and in that time I was expected to deliver a set amount of the curriculum. I can look back and see that a lot of anxiety was due to the pressure I put myself under. I made simple changes like you Nicole that have made the world of difference. Self-care was the place I started.
Through simple changes we make throughout our day to bring self care into our routine we can begin to uncover what holds us back from being this way consistently. I have found the observation and letting go of perfection allows for such expansion in these moments it then flows into all areas of our lives for the better. I love using really simple tasks at work like giving a customer their change or sweeping the storefront and feeling every movement made supports me in how I tenderly care for myself and I then watch how this flows into other areas of my life too.
Who would have thought taking responsibility could be so super rewarding! This is definitely something sorely missed in our education especially because we now have a common perception that taking responsibility is actually a burden.
Establishing a foundation of true self-care allows us to forever expand and deepen that care for ourselves…. and the ripple effect of this care is felt in every aspect of our daily lives.
So true Suse, building a solid foundation we can bring this same quality to all areas of our lives.
Also found the note about Serge not having fallen in a patchouli bottle particularly funny! You can smell a hippie a mile away.
Letting go of expectations of how your day/life should be is so enormous. It’s like the answer is right there, available to us to take on board. This is something I would very much like to continue practicing, as I can feel the freedom it brings.
I love your description of Serge, it’s interesting however to realise that I had this respect for Serge even before I met him. I had heard quite a lot about him from my boyfriend and his mother, however I never assumed that he’d be the amazing person that I have in my life today.
During the weekend when I met him, I had so many doubts about him. I felt like I was being discerning and that I am smarter than everybody else who is just following blindly, however now I know just how wrong I was in that thinking because to be fair, everything he said during that weekend felt 100% true for me and until this day it still does.
Nicole, this is so amazing, and I love how you dedicated yourself absolutely to the detail of how you lived and made the changes to ensure that you brought the same quality into everything, work, home, all the same. What an inspiration to feel that dedication and commitment and how simply and practically you applied it, thank you for sharing this. I want to hear more.
A very clear demonstration that our body is clearly telling us when the way we are living is harming us and when we choose more self-loving ways to be the body says ‘thank you’.
It is true that work and home life are all one thing – or at least – I have found this to be true. The changes we make in our bodies support us in all environments – and this is a great sharing of how honouring the body is so key and supports massive changes.
Our being makes no distinction in how to be if we are at home, with friends, doing our shopping’s, or being at work, it all matters and contributes to the quality of bing in all environments we live in as for our being it is one life, only our mind can live in this fragmented way of life which is not our natural state of being.
This is an incredible story, one that I was not actually aware of until reading this article. I find it incredibly inspiring to work through a chronic illness like this, from both a medical and energetic prospective. I swear you should write a book with all you have been through in your life!
Huge changes Nicole, massive in fact and this from a session with Serge Benhayon. I like what you are saying because you went away and made the choices for yourself. No one lead you or told you or directed you to do them. The quality of the session then gave you a chance to look at what was going on in your life and there you had a choice to make a change. The changes you made as a result were massive as I’ve said and who knows where you would be without this quality of care being offered to you. It shows us that no matter what we are in or what is happening the deep level of care we have for ourselves is what is paramount in any moment. We can do whatever we want so long as we hold this care for ourselves first.
Indeed Ray, these sessions makes us connect to that essence in us that naturally holds a loving care for oneself, for everybody we are with and for everybody we meet.
Nicole something I’ve noticed too, ‘At work I began to accept I didn’t have to know or do it all; that everyone had something to offer and when we all worked together everything that was needed would be achieved.’ When everyone plays their part in the whole, there is no need to stress or get caught up in trying to do someone else’s work, It is beautiful to have a flow that flows both ways.
It makes sense that behaving as two different people – one at work and one at home – would be exhausting. By bringing our full selves to everything we do, we can just simply be, and not do.
“I’ve found I’m no longer trying to move forward from and in the chaos, but that I can choose to move forward from the stillness within myself”
Moving forward in stillness sounds so supportive, expansive, gorgeous and self loving Nicole. Also letting go of expectations, need and ‘doing’, what a wonderful way to live.
It is such a healing when we can let go of the constraints of expectations and allow ourselves to trust and surrender knowing that as long as we stay connected to the quality within there is absolutely nothing else to be done.
It is interesting how we live in a way that makes us vulnerable to illbeing coming our way. We flirt with illbeing and we even justify it as normal if it strikes us. Yet, we have to be clear on this: we make it possible by how we live.
The benefits of what Serge Benhayon presents are miraculous, so many people world wide are living healthier, vibrant and loving lives just by making self care choices.
“Having developed a quality and foundation of self-care which is always deepening, I now have a foundation for me that enables me to be me, no matter where I am or what I am doing.” Consistency is key and something of a work in progress for me. Great blog Nicole, thankyou.
It is interesting how we place ourselves in jobs that support a way of relating to the world that suits us even if we later complain about it. It is not by chance that we end up working in what we do.
Letting go of expectations of how life needs to be, allows us to create the space where we can express from a true and simple way of being.
Expectations hold us and others prisoners of our own making. The freedom found in letting go of these expectations can be immense, and yes, I agree ” we create the space where we can express from a true and simple way of being”.
Again it comes back to quality doesn’t it? It’s not how much we get done but the quality that we bring to whatever we do. This quality we can feel in our body and it can be a marker wherever we are or whatever we are doing.
The expression “watching my life disappear”, even if this is not conscious, is key to developing fibromyalgia
‘As a result, the quality of my life at home and work have become one’ Beautiful Nicole why would we change the way we are with people depending of where we are but we do, we protect ourselves of being hurt and see our home as a safe haven. The more I feel me and how much I actually love people the more I open up and let myself be, not in perfection but as a simple and true way to live.
What you share about building yourself so that the quality to take home is the quality you take to work is really simple to understand – that there is no magical demarcation where the choices we make at home to check out, over eat or generally not look after ourselves get left behind and we step into our place of work or office at home totally free of them – the choices we make where ever we are follow us into the next moment – and so its not about making one area, home life or work life or a hobby or friends the place where everything is perfect, its about an all round commitment not to perfection but to the best of our ability, one quality in all areas – still a long way to go but it makes so much sense why it is worth doing.
Excellent post! Good job! We all have heard the stories, even before we entered hairdressing, however it stands the test of time that issues needs to be addressed as stress and standing on our feet all day takes its toll on our body. Exercise and correct body position is very important in our line of work.
Please take good care of yourself.
Wow Nicole, your blog is so supportive for us all to read. Many people suffer similar ailments or even worse conditions of illness and disease from a number of things, pushing themselves, over working and under a lot of stress due to expectations, unrealistic goals and not taking acre of themselves. Your choice to change this, work and live in a way that supports your body and to build a deeper connection with your self is deeply inspiring. You are showing us that there is another way and we can let go of all expectations and stress, and be equally successful at work and at home by embracing true connection with ourselves first.
I love the approach you took Nicole – of not just seeking a surface solution but being willing to look deeper and underneath what was going on for you at work in order to truly heal and grow on all levels.
Focusing on living our qualities, and in a quality that is supportive, nurturing and loving is where it is at. As you have so beautifully shared with us Nicole. I love that you were able to truly change the way you worked and how you live with yourself, impacting all of those around you in the most loving and positive way.
When we create more space for us and take responsibility for our lives and choose self-care and self-love we naturally know how to communicate with our bodies and the nurturing we need to support true expression.
We can seriously exhaust ourselves by putting expectations on how we think we should be or our day should go; being attached to a picture or ideal squashes us into conforming to something that may not actually be true or harmonious. Bringing it back to what I feel from my body has helped me enormously too.
The relationship I have with time is unhealthy. It’s not at the obvious point you had Nicole but I can still feel the pressure on my body. What is it? It’s possible that I hold time out from everything else, like it’s the controller of my movements. As you are saying and your ‘way back’ was to take care of the way you move and move how you felt. You didn’t keep watching the clock and try and refine the process. Where to from here? Keep moving how I feel and not watching the clock and then moving from there. My relationship is more than time management and this is a continual process, thank you Nicole.
I can relate to so much that you share Nicole and for me the pressure and expectations are also in relationships. I certainly lived “Being the one everyone else relied on, the one that could do it all.” and with this came a focus on others and not on myself. I’m finding that Esoteric Yoga, as offered through Esoteric Women’s Health, has really supported me to live for me, to focus on myself and leave everyone to be responsible for their lives. I’m still a work in progress but each Esoteric Yoga program helps me to deepen living this way and accept myself exactly as I am.
Esoteric yoga has massively supported me to also live and love me for me, and let everyone else be responsible for their own choices, and me for mine. It’s also helped me to accept myself as I am now- and to stop working and striving to achieve a perfect version of myself. Nowhere to get to, nothing to fix, just an acceptance of all that I already am, right now.
‘At work I began to accept I didn’t have to know or do it all; that everyone had something to offer and when we all worked together everything that was needed would be achieved.’ We all have different strengths and weaknesses and when we combine them all they are truly complementary and collectively very powerful indeed.
Perfectionism can be a poison, it eats away at what is natural and flowing and replaces with it with expectations, ideals and beliefs that always keep us wanting. Life is not perfect, human beings are not perfect, when we drop our imposed pictures of perfection life becomes once again free.
Perfectionism feels like a heaviness, almost claustrophobic. In the body it feels like a hardness as we push ourselves towards an unrealistic bar that we’ve set way above ourselves. There’s a harshness to perfectionism, a seriousness that squashes all elements of light and playfulness. When we let it go and just allow ourselves to be as we naturally are, to make mistakes and be okay with that, there’s no stress, no drive: just a flow and an allowing of ourselves to be human.
To this day I can’t stand the smell of Patchouli, it reminds me of everything spiritual and not in a good way.
Hairdressers have a window to the world, seeing many people every day in such an intimate setting, and also wearing the burden of expectation of their clients. Having a sense of self within the day assists all of us to bring who we are to our jobs and not be swayed by the pressure of the role.
Its true of many roles – I’ve been talking with my business partner about exactly this as she struggles to keep a sense of herself rather than being the mother of small kids, the successful business lady, the wife etc. None of which she can really be, before being herself first.
Perfectionism has had a hold on me as well, trying to do it all, be it all, and to achieve whilst putting great pressure on myself. There were so many expectations because I had no real relationship with myself, so my ability to love or appreciate myself was nil, hence the desperate need to prove myself in work – which always felt hollow and empty no matter what I achieved, which led to more cycles of driving myself and achieving. Now, thanks to Universal Medicine, my focus is more on the quality I am connected to in myself, honouring and loving the woman I am, and caring for my body. Work still gets done but I don’t need it to prove myself, I’m already enough.
What strikes me Nicole is the simplicity of the changes that you made and how profound these were and are on your health and wellbeing. It also speaks volumes on the level of responsibility we have to self-care and self-nurture and how we treat ourselves not only for ourselves but also because of the subsequent effect this has on our interactions with others.
It is not just the amount of work we can achieve when first coming from a connection within but also the quality of that which we leave behind us. This quality when we have worked from our inner most has the potential to heal many others. We are so much more powerful than we realise.
It is amazing the impact of what self-care and taking responsibility of one’s choices can have in our lives, it creates more space for us to express more of who we truly are without any trying but the surrendering to what’s needed in our lives.
It is amazing the effect true self-care has. I had no idea what true self-care was, felt, or looked like until Serge Benhayon presented it so clearly. More than simply taking a bath or ‘treating ourselves, self-care is a quality, that is in everything we do, and an ever unfolding nurturing that enriches us no-end.
Getting into the ‘doing’ is something that I am very familiar with, it is how I have lived life, as so many of us do. I has taken me a long long time to begin to feel what it is like to not be identified in the ‘doing’, but to walk through life connected to me first. Feeling who I am first, then make my movements from that into what I am doing. We still have to function and do things, of course, but I am feeling more into how I move, the quality of how I move. This is an unfolding process of building awareness in how this works, a few steps forward, then it feels like many steps back. But i continue to build my awareness, connect to me and move from there.
Thank you for sharing your experience Nicole. I can relate to a lot of what you have shared. Being aware of the simple things like observing how I’m standing when at work has made a big difference to how I feel at the end of the day. I have even bought myself new comfy shoes and support tights for my legs. Going to the gym regularly to strengthen my core has helped with a bad back. It is the accumulation of these small things that amount to taking greater care of myself and knowing that I matter which has made a huge difference.
There is so much identity we can get from being stressed-out and busy, from not having enough time, from being the one who is in high demand, from working so hard your body literally falls apart. I absolutely know this inside and out. And since falling apart, I have come to learn how the identity gained from this way of living actually does not satisfy anything, is very short lived, and leaves me feeling actually quite worthless. Whereas the simple acts of self-love included in each day that don’t give me an identity as such, but let me know who I am all the same, are not only completely confirming and supportive but also seem to lead me towards a higher level of productivity. So without even trying, suddenly I am in high demand, my work is valued, and I achieve great things at work. Funny how this has all turned around.
“watching my life disappear in front of my very own eyes.” this has to be one of the scariest things I can think of! When we get into patterns of living that are stressful, demanding, running to the clock.. nothing is ever fulfilled. Establishing space for ourselves, and values in which we live helps us to live more true and reduces a lot of stress!! You have said it so clearly, life is not about existing, it is about Living!
Recently I have come to see how stress at work is something I had just expected to be. It was normal and natural and I knew myself amongst it. But maybe this is not the real me at work, maybe this is a shield of protection I have designed to not bring the real me, the whole me out in to the world.
There is so much I can see in myself that is written in the thins blog. Becoming the ‘to do’ list, making everything else more important than looking after myself, constantly being in a state of mild stress. And what is the quality that emanates from such a life? What is the point of an existence like this? Yet put your quality at the epicentre… and then do the same things, and then we share our essence in everything we do. So simple, yet so profound.
What comes through in this blog is the importance of the quality of how we live – it is so important that we are aware of how huge quality is, and how it can absolutely change the very way in which we live each day. Universal Medicine has been the first to present to me what true quality is and what it means.
There have been junctions in my life where I know I am off track, working with Universal Medicine I feel like I have filled, and am still filling, my tool kit with resources and skills to get back on track.
“. . . I began to accept I didn’t have to know or do it all; that everyone had something to offer and when we all worked together everything that was needed would be achieved”. Nicole, isn’t it such a relief when we take this pressure off ourselves to be someone and realise that we are a team – it brings such harmony in the workplace when we open up to working together.
Nicole, great to read of the shift in your attitude to work – it shows how so often we don’t need to change the outside situation if we change the way we relate to it. So many of us are “run by the clock” which squeezes us into a time frame of our own making. By stepping out of time we allow more space and life flows more easily.
“At work I began to accept I didn’t have to know or do it all; that everyone had something to offer and when we all worked together everything that was needed would be achieved.” I love this sharing Nicole – this way to work should be our normal way because with that we would work much more efficient and I am sure the illness rate will also be falling.
Thank you for sharing your story of your life and the transformation back to a vital and healthy life Nicole. The slight changes that you made seems incredibly simple and gently, but profound in the healing that you allowed to take place. To reconnect to you and operate from that awareness. Listening to the body, will bring you to your truth.
Thank you Nicole, it is amazing that when we bring self care to any job we become more efficient, more energised, more loving and connected with others – it really is a win win for all.
This is another glorious modern day miracle and a very inspiring read, I have been finding lately that hard physical work is really tiring me out, so a closer more honest approach is needed to get to the bottom of why I’m drained at the end of the day.
There is huge wisdom in this blog about how to really claim a life of overwhelm back by addressing our relationship with ourselves first and paying true attention to that, to our quality and to our purpose. From there it can be a leap of faith to be less time-bound around a forever lengthening to do list. But in my experience and experiments, when I make space and feel what needs to be done next, do it with full attention and focus and then feel the next thing to do, the overwhelm disappears, I enjoy the doing and the list gets done to a level that’s really needed rather than to an unrealistic expectation I have set myself in order to reduce the burden. Going with how I feel means I enjoy each moment rather than living for the moment the to-do list is complete – which of course it never is…
A gorgeous sharing Nicole and a true testament to you and the choices you have made. I have seen you change quite dramatically over the years and this has been inspiring. As I read your blog it made me think about when we go into a hairdressers people often expect them to be ‘on’ and to deliver a certain thing that they have in their mind, even when they sometimes don’t express this clearly or when it is unrealistic. This would also place a lot of pressure on the hairdresser and they would need to be super steady within themselves to learn to not take this on.
This sharing Nicole is very powerful and shows us that we, ourselves, hold the key to true health and wellbeing both privately and professionally. Thank you.
Another living miracle of what can happen when we choose self-care, self-love and self-responsibility. It is incredible what effect this can have on your life, in all aspects.
The perception that work and home are two separate things has felt in the past like an excuse to get away with certain actions that no one would see if at home and the face we put on for the world. But this isn’t the case as I have and continue to learn and as you’ve shared here Nicole. Our work quality affects our home quality and vice versa, there is no sit down time when it comes to how we are with ourselves.
As I ask for help with the jobs in the home it feels so different and enjoyable. My children are getting older and it is surprising what they can do. My attitude in the past has been to get on with it as I thought it would be much quicker but I am realising it is not about doing as much as I can during the day but the quality I am doing it in. It is work in progress changing this deep rooted behaviour but as I do, it brings about a deeper connection with others and a harmony within the home which was lacking when I felt the need to do every thing my way.
Complete exhaustion is not an unknown state for myself and perhaps many thousands of people who could be reading this blog. How it manifests may be different for everyone, but that underlying lack of self-care and a lack of beautiful self-love can always be found as a common theme. This shows us all the way back to feeling full and vital again, in the simple practical ways of a loving relationship with yourself.
It is so great to read that one of the worlds biggest killers “stress” is now becoming a marker for how people are choosing to change the way they live.
Nicole, this is so beautiful.. What a healing to read and see, knowingly personally, I understand how big a change you have made.. something that you were unable to think even before.. I must say Thank you Serge Benhayon and all who have supported you and many many others.. And continue to do so.
Nicole, the changes you describe in your health and wellbeing are nothing short of a miracle. This is the sort of stuff that needs to be published in medical journals. Illness and disease are out of control and we have to start observing the lives of people like yourself who have reversed your medical condition and are now living a very vital life. Conventional medicine has to drop its arrogance and work with complementary medicine to seek true answers to the problems before us. People like yourself are showing us that it can be done and as Serge Benhayon has presented it starts by learning to connect with our essence and from there establish a true foundation based on self-care, self-love, self-nurturing, and love.
I agree Nicole, the greatest gift to give yourself is establishing a foundation of self care. Being in regard and aware of ourselves are simple measures that are a big deal in preventative health care.
If we look at the world, our greatest gift is love. And to achieve this, so to speak, we have to begin to heal the disregard we have once created.. By so far our world is full of indulgences, disregard, disharmony, illness and disease, wars, corruption and lack of intimacy. So our answer would be – love and self-care. But how to achieve this is quiet profound, even though there is not much to achieve, but only being re-connected to. I have found that this key of love is within the every single human heart, and that by allowing ourselves to feel this – our healing begins. But how do you feel that love within ones heart? Well this is a journey worth taking, something that Serge Benhayon has supported many people with – to reconnect to the truth, love, harmony, joy, and stillness within ones body. Which can be achieved by conscious presence, for example the Gentle Breath Meditation. It is worth considering what we need in order to heal the mass destruction we have all created.
Creating a foundation of self-care is deeply supportive and sometimes a challenge to develop if you have been in disregard for most of your life. It is about starting, bringing awareness, as you describe to ‘how’ you are living. Then little bit by little bit, changing the way you live by making other choices.
I love hearing about you life Nicole, you have a way of sharing that many of us can relate to. What strikes me about your blog is that you are saying when we take more responsibility for our own health and well being we begin to bring in true change and healing.
Yes Samantha, as this shows us that medicine is besides the physical about energetic responsibility. Something we can so choose, and live by. And so.. it is about Universal – Medicine.
“I’ve found I’m no longer trying to move forward from and in the chaos” Nicole having the space to stop and reflect instead of moving forward trying to fix the chaos as you go is revolutionary.
Good point Brendan, it operates like a sliding scale… Introduce self care (connection/awareness) of ourself, then a more balanced equilibrium between quality/presence and ‘doing’ ensues.
It is so interesting to see how we can get exhausted even before we get to work. When I know I have a busy week ahead or know I won’t have a lot of breaks what truly exhausts me is my reaction to it before hands and actually not the day of work itself, which often changes and is more spacious than expected! I freak out because I think I won’t have time for me but when I am present with myself and am willing to see and feel all that is going on, then I can be always be with me without that great need for time with me.
I can relate to what you have said here Lieke. When I know I have a busy day or week ahead, particularly at work, I can feel tension and exhaustion in my body before I even start. This is due to the reaction, ie the stress, I am already feeling about how I will manage to get everything done within the given timeframe. Yet I know the day ahead is full of many variables and often space is created in unexpected ways. This shows me the damage created by holding images of how I believe I ‘should’ be and the amount of work I ‘should’ get through in a given timeframe and it also shows the need for steadily building my conscious presence.
I love hearing your feelings on this Helen. I find that often too: “space is created in unexpected ways”, the week is never as bad as I imagined it to be and as you say that is the damage that holding a pictures does, the tension that I have before the moment is there does harm my body more than the moment itself! If we would just live moment by moment that stress would not have to be there. Which I am building too.
Absolutely Brendan – blogs like this are invaluable as they help us deconstruct the deeply ingrained patterns and behaviours that are so insidiously affecting us.
Thank you for an inspiring sharing Nicole, “but that I can choose to move forward from the stillness within myself – the stillness that I reconnected to by healing my hurts and letting go of the expectations I had of how I should live my life.” coming back to the love we truly are and living life from our self love and care.
A powerful account Nicole – I love how you simply bring it back to the fact that we continuously need to take stop moment to check in what is going on – ‘When I watch myself now, I observe myself doing what is needed, stopping when I feel like things are getting chaotic, feeling what is needed and then going forth from there.’ True change comes from giving ourselves the space to feel what is really going on behind the chaos, the stress or the checking out.
What a simple maths diagram this would be. A really obvious and sure fire way of showing us very clearly the impact of doing versus the impact of being essentially. In truth when I chose me and stay with this gentle and loving quality I am actually very efficient and proficient. But there’s most certainly a difference in the quality between this way and charging through my to do list.
”The quality of my life at home and work have become one” Nicole a really important sharing that you make here. I grew up understanding the fact that work and home life are separate, so many in society today also put great efforts into doing this. Yet I can feel in what you share and in my experiences that viewing life as separate chunks is like pushing a car uphill. It simply does not work. Even with this I can appreciate that it can still be easy to think that co-workers an have spate home and work lives, when in fact the quality and care we take does not work like this.
Thanks for sharing your inspiring story Nicole, I agree building a foundation of care and self-love is vital.
Hi Nicole, Your blog clearly shows it is possible to change how we live and being more loving and caring of our own wellbeing can literally transform that wellbeing and our life from an existence to a true living. It was for me a clear reminder to stay with the stillness and not enter the chaos when It is present!
I loved reading this blog again Nicole – I am left with no doubt that the quality of what I do is what matters not the quantity or even the ‘what’. This feels like a constant exercise in trust as the world is constantly sending us messages that we need to focus on the ‘output’. You are living proof that the quality we choose is everything.
Its amazing that you now no longer have fibromyalgia Nicole. You are just one of many examples of people who are showing us there is another way to live that can sometimes totally eradicate an illness.
Nicole, thank you for sharing this. You have shown us what is possible when we make self loving choices -the true meaning of self care.
“I now have a foundation for me that enables me to be me, no matter where I am or what I am doing.” Nicole I used to think that different aspects of my life, work, home etc. were separate, yet there were very few parts where I was truly being me. What you share in your foundation is that by healing, committing to you in full then our foundation covers all aspects of our life, all areas. When I look at it like this is certainly makes me appreciate making that investment.
The difference in my body at the end of a working day is astounding when I choose to come from my inner quality of already being complete and sharing this or coming from a place where I’m ‘trying’ to do anything. The trying can be _ living up to some external, imagined imposition of how I should be. With the first I retain my natural vitality the second leaves me exhausted.
Yes me too Sandra – I’ve found too that if I’ve been trying to live up to a picture of how I think I should be there’s an unease in me and it’s very draining, in comparison to when I express from an acceptance of all that I already am.
I’ve often wondered how hairdressers do it… How are they bright and chipper with every client, how do they stand up all day long, how do they listen and talk all day long! The insights you offer here show a way of caring for yourself along with all the demands that go along with that job, and many others.
A life lived without a deep commitment to self-love and care, to me now feels barren, and cold with no heart in it. Without a deep connection to our bodies and the love in our hearts, we are pulled from the outside to one thing after another like a puppet on strings; in this empty way of existing we find no true joy, only moments of relief.
Excellent blog Nicole, when I allow myself to go into overwhelm, rush and stress with my work its actually very inefficient, I get drained and tired and don’t get much done, plus it feels horrible in my body. When I allow myself to stop, deeply surrender and let go; take tender care of my self and my body, then approach my work, the results are amazing not only do I achieve more and better quality results, I feel lovely and relaxed and connected in my body without the anxiety and stress.
“I began to stop having expectations of how my day should be and in doing so, found that not only did I feel less stressed and exhausted, more was actually achieved (without trying) and completed with clarity and an understanding of others and myself.” This is of key importance Nicole, when we place expectations and or pictures of how our day and lives should be or look like, it places great amounts of pressure and stress on our bodies which over time then develop illness and disease. Rather than deeply caring and connecting to our bodies and hearts and being impulsed from them as what to do next, which feels much more harmonious.
“I began feeling how I was before I started work and how I was when I finished; it was this quality that I took from home to work or from work to home, until being at work and being at home became the same quality.” I love this Nicole, as we often change the quality and our attitude between when we are at work or at home, rather than seeing it as one and the same, a continuum that we can bring our love and care to ourselves in.
Having lived with a partner who had fibromyalgia and chronic pain for many years, I can well appreciate Nicole, how debilitating this condition can be. I’ve seen up close, someone unable to work much at all, their sleep patterns completely screwed, with a myriad of other symptoms, including anxiety, and the chronic pain… Not at all easy, and the ‘medical run-around’ not able to offer any lasting change… That you stand today ‘symptom free’ is truly amazing, and a rarity. Clearly the key word was ‘responsibility’ – responsibility for how you’d lived your life to date, and responsibility for the part you could play in your own healing. Whether symptoms stay or go, this is the clearly the way to go for us all Nicole – for we have lived in such a disregarding way with our own bodies, thus neglecting the precious beings that each and every one of us are. It’s inevitable that rates of illness and disease are at where they are today. We can no longer look for the ‘quick fix’ – a pill, an operation, a drug… they may be necessary and also very responsible choices to make, but will never offer us the long-term answers that are needed. Your story shows us where we honestly need to go. Thank-you.
Clearly what you’ve shared here Nicole, just touches the surface of the depth of transformation in your life that has occurred through your willingness to ‘go deeper’ and take a thoroughly honest look at what had led you to the state you once found yourself in. I don’t say it lightly, in stating that the changes you have gone through, and the way in which you are now thriving in life – sustainably – is a living miracle, due to every choice you have made to heal and embrace a deeply loving way of living. I know of countless such stories of true change – from the inside out – of those who know Serge Benhayon and are students of Universal Medicine. Every single one absolutely amazing. Hats off dear lady, and thank-you for leading the way for so many.
The pictures we have of life, these expectations of how it, we and others need to be, might seem big or ambitious to you and me. But the irony is they miss out the truth – the absolute grandness of us in life. The expectations are mean and small, and box us into a game we think we need to play. Today your words suggest to me Nicole, it is high time we gave our view of life a trim, and allowed ourselves to see underneath the loose locks and matted overlay, life is brilliant, joyful and simple underneath.
Trusting and letting the day flow allows us to be human beings before being human doings, the focus and priority being on our rhythm and ourselves first, before considering the job to be done.
I agree Brendan. It’s awesome to get real about life and how we’re living and experiencing it in all aspects. Through this kind of introspection we can get to know what truly serves us – and by extension, others – and what does not. A loving stocktake, if you will.
I became a chef and chased recognition, which lead me completely off-track and to health consequences that are still part of my life today. My expression with food is however true and today I still cook professionally from time to time. I do it though in a completely different way. I now cook with the love and care I can feel I am there to bring to others, and I don’t leave myself out of the equation.
It’s great Nicole that you found, once you had re-examined your situation, that your impulse to cut hair was in fact a true expression for you, and that you could return to your trade in a new and loving way. Of course, it would have been equally OK to step aside from hairdressing if you had discovered you had been drawn to the trade for other reasons. It’s good to allow ourselves that kind of latitude – and honesty.
It’s interesting to ponder what might set us up to get to the place of overwhelm and stress. On some level it must be because we think we have to be a certain way to achieve certain outcomes for… what? Recognition? Acceptance or acknowledgement or some sort of accolade? It’s worth getting to the heart of the matter so the drivers for such behaviours are understood and dismantled.
‘As a result, the quality of my life at home and work have become one; I am more approachable, and no longer living my day in complete overwhelm, exhaustion and chaos. I can connect to people without rushing around doing 100 things at once, and am able to be with them and to have true connections instead of the shallow contacts I had in the past.’
Nicole what you describe here in terms of the way it was for you is a classic marker of stress. When we are overwhelmed and barely coping there is no time for anyone or anything thing other than barely keeping our heads above water. Life becomes very one-dimensional, with no quality of connection – or within ourselves and as a result, in what we do. How wonderful to change that. I’ve been there too!
Yes Doug that is true, I too learnt to turn off the stress and drive in my everyday life by make loving choices for myself first, this brought joy as I was no longer being controlled by the stresses.
“I began feeling how I was before I started work and how I was when I finished; it was this quality that I took from home to work or from work to home, until being at work and being at home became the same quality”. I can relate to this,this is something I have been working on myself for the last few years and it has been such a support. To achieve this I really had to bring my focus on self care and moments with me.
Amita this is a huge subject that you have brought out of the blog, massive in fact. Because having a separate home and work life is the lie we all are led to believe is the way to live. Divine Integrity at home and at work is, for myself, the holy grail of living and working with people.
It’s great how you describe how it was for you and now the difference in your life from making true change in how you approach and do tasks Nicole. I too am learning to trust I have the capacity to do everything without nervous energy after many years being the constant doer running on nervous energy. I am learning that my stillness can get me through and starting to surrender and trust in that process and giving myself lots of doses of self appreciation along the way.
Hi Julie, I can relate to what you have shared here. It is unlearning the old habits and having the patience and loving commitment to put in place new ones. The word trust is key as well, because I used to think that stress was just a part of life, never realising that it actually was a choice I was making. I too am learning that not rushing and not stressing still gets things done, but with less anxiety and more enjoyment.
Very true Gill. When we get out of the way, so do all the complications and stress that we create, thinking we know what is best. Learning to let go and surrender reminds us that if we do get out of the way, there is much more that is possible.
Love this sharing Nicole “with a body that is now truly vital and alive and with eyes that glow and a skin that shines”. What a beautiful open invitation to bring about more self-loving, self-nurturing choices into our everyday livingness. You are an inspiration.
Indeed a most crippling and debilitating existence life becomes when the strive for perfection is priority 1, I can relate completely.
It is quite remarkable what and how we as a human race put up with, for as long as until we reach a point where the body says, ‘enough is enough!’ it is equally as remarkable to reveal to ourselves how much we’re capable of turning around, as is your brilliant example Nicole, by making the choice to deeply care for your body, making changes to the way in which you move in your day in honour of how your body is feeling, and in the process reconfiguring it in such a way that is supportive in moving forward.
The foundation that we build of self care supports us with a rhythm in the daily bluster of life. The deeper the foundation to love and care for ourselves on a daily basis, the steadier we feel going about our every day whatever we do, we are beings first and foremost bringing that quality of who we are.
No longer living with the stress and expectations of working and live is an amazing achievement to have come to and an inspiration to the world . Thanks to Serge Benhayon presenting the way through his livingness he is inspiring others that life really can be different harmonious and true in every way . Thank you for a great inspiration of how you have changed your life with simplicity and honesty and how we can all do the same in our own way and bring true harmony to our bodies also.
Nicole like you I had the belief that work and home were separate, and whilst in many ways there are different daily activities in these two parts of life – the fact is they are very interconnected. How I treat myself at home directly affects how I treat myself at work and vice versa. Whats lovely about what you share is it shows that the greater we allow ourselves to appreciate all that we bring in one part of life, the fact is that then naturally builds for the rest of our lives.
With beliefs like “Go hard or go home” and “No pain no gain” it looks like we may have collectively invested in the idea that we can either look after ourselves or achieve in life (“at expense to the self but it’s worth it”- another belief). What Nicole’s blog shows so clearly is that self care and work do go hand in hand, and the power of the quality of how we do things really does matter.
I agree Katie. It’s a whole new life on every level.
The thing about expectations is that they feel like another way to beat ourselves up. They come from a place that says we are not enough as we place expectations on ourselves to be another way or be more/do more. Expectations seem to dismiss all that we naturally are. I can’t imagine expectations being able to exist when true appreciation is present. Thanks for the new insights today and for sharing your life with us all Nicole.
I agree Brendan – so long as the essay was handed in, the teacher never cared if it had taken me several nights of sleepless working. This is a real problem, because in the end we constantly chase what we can do rather than who we are.
Who knows what our full potential is? As I uncover more of myself through living in a more self-loving and nurturing way it’s beautiful to see the real self being revealed bit by bit.
Building a foundation of self care is like having buoyancy on a life raft in rough seas. It supports you to stay afloat rather than sinking in the mayhem of what’s going on around you. Self care is fundamental to our way of fairing through life.
Beautifully said Johanne.
I love your analogy Johanne. We often only realise the support it provides when it is missing and life becomes more challenging.
I like this analogy Johanne, we are doing ourselves a great disservice if we neglect the greatest tool and ally we can have in navigating our way through the ‘slings and arrows of outrageous fortune’ or ‘take arms against a sea of troubles’ (WS) Self care and self love are the foundations and the steadfast rock upon which the lighthouse can stand steady to shine its light. Ok, enough metaphors for one comment..
And it should be the core of our learning as we grow up. Otherwise, it is as though we are thrown into the ocean of life and even though we are taught how to build a life raft, we are never shown how to make it float!
‘Observing the way I was at work also allowed me to see how I was at home, and I began to ask myself “How could I be one way at home and another way at work?” It made no sense. I realised that making changes with the way I was at home and the quality of my self-care helped me with how I was at work, and vice versa.’ – great point Nicole.
Overwhelm, exhaustion and chaos played a large part in how I used to feel at work and at home – looking back it was actually a theme playing out through every area of my life. it was only after meeting Serge Benhayon and attending Universal Medicine events that I began to make choices that were much more self caring, allowing a rhythm to my life that meant the overwhelm, exhaustion and chaos became strangers.
‘it was this quality that I took from home to work or from work to home, until being at work and being at home became the same quality. I love this Nicole. There is no separation and to live this way is simply beautiful.
And it certainly takes away the ‘on and off’ switch we can use – and instead introduces a consistency that supports the body to be steady all day, every day.
Yes Kylie, consistency is the key as no matter how small it is, it is what we do to support ourselves once we do it, it creates a flow in life where it all easily constellates.
We have made it wrong to put ourselves first in this world – and maybe if we see this as ‘looking after number one’, with no appreciation that we are all connected – than doing so is not healthy. But there is a very real and very true need for us to be self-loving and self-caring so that what we take out into the world is more full of the innate vitality and livingness that we can be when we live harmoniously with the ‘guidance’ of our bodies. True self-love is not selfish, but absolutely responsible.
I work in the Social Care sector in the Uk and it is a vocation where staff all too often are amazing when they are caring for another, but really do not look after themselves. So many give everything for the service-users they support but leave work completely drained with the ‘fuel tanks on empty’. Self-care is crucial in this sector and in any sector to be honest if we are to turn the tide of exhaustion and return to our innately vital selves able to bring true high quality care to others.
Thank you for sharing that Richard and I wholeheartedly agree – we need to be developing how we look after ourself in order to support us to deepen and sustain the care we offer to others.
A beautiful transformation Nicole Serafin, thank you for sharing this. Bringing ‘beingness’ into all we do is a miracle in my opinion, in a world that is so focused on doing.
To live without expectation of how our day, or any event should turn out seems very powerful and empowering, allowing us to just accept whatever the outcome is. I personally have found that to be true, where just going through the process of offering quality in the task I am on often clears away any problems that may surround the projects and actions I have to do.
Living with expectations is a great way of making sure we get disappointed, which then provides a great excuse for us to think that there is something wrong with us. It is all a game so that we can avoid the truth of who we are. Your experience Nicole shows us that we can break that cycle.
Well said Elizabeth and when we’re prepared to be honest about that game we play, it is the moment in so doing our choices can begin to change.
For years I went to work most days in overwhelm and exactly as you describe it Nicole ‘…….it often felt like one big spin’, and if there was a deadline the spin got heavier and faster. This is a dilemma many people find themselves in, the spin feels awful yet we feel pressured to deliver an outcome and turning oneself inside out to do so. How we setup our day and the quality we start the day in can go a long way to change this. Other factors I know that make a difference are feeling rested and the hours I sleep, making sure I am organized with food and have chosen foods that don’t leave me tired or stimulated afterwards, being present with myself in the mornings so I am calm and don’t have a last minute rush (and the accompanying rush of adrenalin), living each day with awareness so I don’t hold back and allow pressure to build up. It’s not the whole picture but these choices make a difference.
That is why it is so important that we have stop moments in our day, just moments to just feel how we are doing, even if we do this on the toilet, which is a great place for stop moments. Then when we are all over the place and rushed out, we can just make other choices and then continue our day in another quality.
I agree Mariette – I have noticed over recent weeks that as the pressure I have been under at work has increased I have been drawn into focusing on those things around me and have not taken the opportunities to stop and check in with how my body feels in making time for these stops moments. Ironically this is perhaps when such moments can be of the most support in checking in with what is going on in our bodies which our minds may be choosing to ignore.
Well said, Michael. When things are very busy for me at work my initial feeling often is, I don’t have time to stop, to take myself for a gentle walk up the corridor, however, that is always the very thing that I DO need to do, my body is asking me to do that and then I can come back feeling far more present with myself ready to pick up where I left off just a few minutes before.
Ahahah Mariette – the toilet is also the place were I am going to do my stop moments as I am working with 5 other lovely women in one office this is the best place to do so.
Yes, Mariette, I had a particularly busy day at work on Thursday so I took a few more minutes in the ‘Ladies’ to enjoy some Gentle Breath Meditation. It’s amazing how just a few minutes of consciously choosing to stop is enough to allow us to lovingly sink back into ourselves.
These toilets must feel pretty amazing, what a blessing for people.
3. Yes and this is so powerful and it makes you realize the responsibility we have. I have committed myself to making a choice every morning, a choice for the day, what is my focus. Today my choice is to be delicate with myself. It feels really supporting to make this choice and it is beautiful to experience how my whole day embraces this choice and how I get invited to deepen the choice that I have made.
When I read blogs such as this I am reminded of how much there is to appreciate in the changes I have made in my own life and how we can each inspire each other through sharings such as Nicole’s.
Yes , super inspiring – the simplicity of truth is so inspiring.
When we are caught up in the spin of our busy lives, we could never imagine that we could be so different in our lives, but we want our lives to be different. But it’s not our lives so much as is is how we are in our life. Your sharing Nicole highlights this beautifully. What happens when we really begin to take responsibility in our lives and how this responsibility is a true joy to live.
So true Jennifer “We want our lives to be different. But it’s not our lives so much as is is how we are in our life”.
Yes Jennifer, we’re often quick to blame our spinning busy life, targets and deadlines, but the real culprit is the spin of our inner world, that drives us to lose touch with our true self and become overwhelmed under pressure. I have experienced this myself. Taking back responsibility and committing to self brought about remarkable changes and my life back into balance.
Nicole, the pain, discomfort and stress that you experienced as a hairdresser could be experienced by people in any number of professions. The stress patterns, the anxiety and the subsequent physical ailments are so common, and so many people struggle with these. It is a joyful day when one comes across Universal Medicine and starts to understand that there is a different way to live that does not come from that struggle, and that there is a joy and ease that can be lived every day that is a far cry from the usual pain. It is wonderful to read your story.
I agree Rebecca Turner. It is joyful to know the truth of universal medicine, that there is another way to live based on self-love, self-care, appreciation and being who we truly are rather than seeking it in a world that does not currently reflect ‘joy and ease’ but very much the opposite in fact.
While it is easy to still get caught up in the stress of work and go into anxiousness or get driven to achieve things on occasion, there is now a choice to be able to stop and look at what has caught me up, and how it is affecting me. Universal Medicine offers simple yet profoundly powerful tools to build a solid foundation of living in a way that brings us back to ourselves, or doesn’t let us get too far out in the first place – and it really does make all the difference.
Agreed Rebecca, the truth is so many people live in struggle and have given up on there being any other way to live. Nicole’s story (and our own), show that life with all of its demands and requirements can still be lived in a joyful way that also supports the body. It’s pretty amazing what Universal Medicine is teaching and inspiring.
Stopping and checking in to then move forth from the stillness is so powerful.
Absolutely Kathryn, and key to moving through life with responsibility of our choices.
I loved reading the details of how Nicole was feeling and living and the gradual steps she made to change this. It is reading these details that allows other people to identify, perhaps for the first time, that something they do all the time isn’t all that good for them. Until it was pointed out to me that I had to care for myself like I would my toddler, it just wasn’t in my awareness.
Yes, thank you for raising this Fiona. I can remember feeling so frazzled with three young children and not enough hours in the day to ‘do’ everything, if someone had said to me then that I needed to take care of myself first I would have quickly responded, ‘I don’t have time’. However, that’s only because I wasn’t choosing to allow time. It is so obvious to me now that when I care for myself first I am much more fun to be around and I don’t allow things to get on top of me in the same way. I don’t feel I would have come to this realisation unless it had been pointed out to me.
How many of us would consider caring for ourselves like a small child? I certainly didn’t but I love how I feel when I do. I recall questioning this when I first heard this, but when I began to be gentle and tender with myself and speak to myself with the love and care that I would a child, it made so much sense. After all we are the same human being that we were as a child.
I agree and blogs such as Nicole’s highlight why it is so important for all of us to share our stories as they can make a huge impact on others.
Yes Fiona, such beauteous reminder – quite revolutionary!
Yes Fiona, there is much to be appreciated in what Nicole shares, and it is in her reflection of how to care for oneself that we gain so much insight. I have heard it said we need to parent ourself and that feels so true, looking after oneself with the care we would give our own child is so true. There is nothing better than being as gentle with ourself as we would a small baby and no reason for us not to be this way, it is very healing.
What you’ve shared Fiona and Stephen deserves to be a natural part of our education… Why don’t we care for ourselves as we would a small child? Why do we let this go…? It reflects the pressures placed on us – that we agree to place upon ourselves – to ‘do’ and ‘be’ more as we get older, doesn’t it… Clearly the way we’ve been living isn’t working, and all of this requires a deep and honest examination, as Nicole’s blog shows. Thing is, need we come to the point of a serious health condition, to truly change?
This is lovely Jennifer, ‘when I began to be gentle and tender with myself and speak to myself with the love and care that I would a child’.
“Watching my life disappear in front of my very own eyes’. What a profound observation. Unfortunately I don’t think you are the only one who has felt this way. Even people who are ticking all the so called ‘right boxes’ can feel like this, as the missing of a true and whole way of being creates a strong tension in us. When I read all the simple changes you made it is hard to believe that we don’t just live that way. Yet I used to be exactly the same and doing simple things like taking an umbrella, water and food were not part of my normal way of living.
It’s actually very interesting to look back and appreciate all the things that we have chosen to do differently in our commitment to self care. I once would have balked at the idea of going to bed at 9pm, now I look forward to being in my bed at that time as I know how refreshed I will feel in the morning.
I can relate to that Alison – I used to think I was missing out if I did not stay up late in the evening. Not until Serge Benhayon presented this fact did I understand that I had it upside down – when I stay up late I miss out on ME and the opportunity to allow the body to regenerate in it’s natural rhythm.
This has made a huge difference for my health and wellbeing.
How true Fiona, we can have everything that we could possibly want in life, but still feel that something is missing and all the searching for ‘that something’ produces exhaustion.
Me too Fiona and I can remember feeling so spent and exhausted with the stresses and pressures of daily living and thinking to myself “stop the world I want to get off”. My daughter said to me the other night “Mum you are more vital now at 67 than when you were at 40”. Such a beautiful confirmation of the changes I have made.
I agree Fiona, it is mind boggling that what is a natural way of caring for ourselves isn’t the common way for most. It makes sense we call ourselves a ‘human race’ as that is how we behave, racing around, occasionally, sometimes, or often chasing our tails, getting ourselves all twisted up and sore from the constant onslaught, when all along we can instead simply choose to be loving.
I’ve discovered taking on any belief, ideal or picture about work (any form) very physically exhausting. My body is at a stage where it simply isn’t tolerating being made to go through the paces of performing any work that is based on anything less than true service equally for all. I’m referring to training I’ve done that was done under subtle illusion but none the less illusion, and realizing the truth of this is essential for my well-being.
Nicole, for me work was also combined with a lot of pressure to be good enough. I was working as a physiotherapist and burned out because I was suffering not being able to help people get rid of their illnesses. They came again and again with similar symptoms. Since I have been at Universal Medicine courses, I learned that ones’ own choices can lead to illness and disease. I learned that people are not dependant on me, but have their own responsibility. Learning about my own responsibility I changed my attitude concerning work and there is much more joy in my working days today.
Nicole, you are a living example of how the way we choose to live can be our ‘medicine’, or not. In your case, through your commitment to love and self care, it most definitely has been the most gorgeous medicine, feeding you back with love to a full recovery. Very inspiring. Thank you.
I agree Alison and seeing Nicole today you would never imagine she was once the 28 year old living in her mums garage with chronic pain and illness. How we live is something we can all take responsibility for and is the best medicine, as we choose it for ourselves, thus building love for ourselves.
Yes Alison and Fiona I agree, Nicole has performed a miracle and the transition is not short lived, but will continue to unfold and deepen, because once we re-connect with ourselves, there is nothing that can entice us back to our bad medicine again.
A lovely blog, Nicole, thank you for sharing how you turned your life around from not being able to work due to a debilitating illness, back to working with much joy and a completely different approach to all that needs to be done. On a re-read of your blog today, I was struck by the following “At work I began to accept I didn’t have to know or do it all; that everyone had something to offer and when we all worked together everything that was needed would be achieved.” That feels like a true way for us to work, doing it together, with each of us bringing our skills to the task in hand. Far better than putting the pressure on the individual to perform on his/her own. We all have different attributes and abilities, how sensible to work together. It is lovely to see people co-operating together like that. It will be the way that one day we will all be living in brotherhood, connected deeply to one another.
It is lovely to have this highlighted Beverley. It is often the case that we take on responsibility for things outside us where we need not (and ironically are too busy doing this to take responsibility for ourselves!) A team works so well when we all contribute from our strengths, with no trying to be more. There is no pressure as we are all just doing what we are great at and appreciating the strengths in others.
Yes, Fiona …. this is so true …. ‘It is often the case that we take on responsibility for things outside us where we need not (and ironically are too busy doing this to take responsibility for ourselves!)’ … such a convenient distraction for us, to keep us embedded in our stuff, preventing us from doing the one thing that will actually allow us to clear all the clutter around us, that is not us. We are avoiding taking responsibility for ourselves and when we commit to doing that, miracles happen.
This is so deeply worth highlighting Beverley – in our self-driven search for attainment in our societies, we have bought it that we need to be able to ‘do it all’. What if, we acknowledge our strengths, responsibly attend to what is there for ‘us’ to do, and yet also, acknowledge that we are all, whether we wish to acknowledge it in full or not, here to work together – letting ourselves ‘out’ and others ‘in’, in purposeful connection to the task at hand. Nothing is truly done ‘alone’, and as Nicole’s story shows, to fool ourselves into carrying way too much a load, is to harm ourselves, commonly with serious consequence to our health and wellbeing…
Great point Shirley-Ann. It can be all too easy to pressure ourselves to do and/or be capable of doing everything… As Nicole’s blog shows, this is not necessarily ‘good medicine’ for us at all.
Great to have this highlighted Beverley, ‘At work I began to accept I didn’t have to know or do it all; that everyone had something to offer and when we all worked together everything that was needed would be achieved.’ Teamwork using our own strengths is far more loving to all.
I agree Katie – the transformations that Nicole has experienced are indeed miracles, and clearly demonstrates that it is the quality in which we walk, talk and live our daily lives that can make miracles happen.
Thank you Nicole, your story is very inspiring as it shows that through consistent self-care and honouring of our bodies we can tap into so much more of our potential than what we ever thought possible.
Well said Francisco. It is the commitment to ourselves and the consistency of our choices that builds a new way of living and treating ourselves. From there what is possible in our lives is endless.
Absolutely Fiona, ‘It is the commitment to ourselves and the consistency of our choices that builds a new way of living and treating ourselves.’
I agree Fiona. The consistency your describe leads to so much more than we could ever imagine. This simplicity steadily opens another doorway which leads to another discovery of all that we are.
I agree Francisco. Nicole shows that through consistent self-care and honouring of herself we can live so much more of our potential…more than we ever imagined.
Yes Francisco, and with the right support we can move forward. I have found Universal Medicines modalities crucial to supporting me to truly heal and clear hurts and trauma, which gave me space to be open to more self care. Without this, no matter my dedication to self love and self care, I don’t feel I would have so significantly been able to change my life.
I agree Francisco, consistent self care and responsibility for our choices can turn our life around opening us to a life we never thought possible.
thanks Nicole for this great article. I have learned the hard way that without a foundation of self-love and care, everything else has no steadiness, neither work nor home, nor relationships. and our ability to grow and learn is stunted.
I too have experienced living the “hard way” with high expectations/stress from “doing”.
Thank goodness I met Serge and Natalie Benhayon who have shown me another more loving, self-nurturing way to live, and what a positive transformation that has made to my life; just like it has for Nicole and many thousands of students of The way of the Livingness all over the world.
Me too Annie and it took a long time to shake off those ideals and beliefs that everyone else’s needs were more important than mine – I still have a few sticky little pockets that need shaking out but am working on them.
The fallacy of most parenting advice is to tell you your children come first and as a mother you are always second. The most caring thing you can do for a child, not excluding keeping them physically healthy and safe, is to be all of who you are as a woman, and in that you are an extraordinary role model.
Same Annie and when the foundation of self love and self care is there, my capacity to handle situations and life generally is far greater.
Absolutely Katie, it becomes a shadow of the life we could be living – instead of being exhausted, sleepy, sick and struggling, we could live from an aliveness, and awareness that holds strong and we do not fall prey to anything the world springs on us.
And is clearly unsustainable.
So have I Annie, growing up my life was all over the place – you could say bi polar with the extreme high and lows that I had, Nothing ever satisfied me and I always wanted more. The more love I have built and allowed in my life the less I need approval from anybody else and the steadier I am. Steadier in a far more loving and joyful way, not in a dull and boring way as some may think!
Yes Annie C. Any unsteadiness in one area of our life has a ripple effect on all aspects of our life.
I agree Annie – I too have experienced that if there is no true honouring of myself, there is no true foundation to build and evolve all the different areas in my life. This is such a key point for everything we do in life, to always honour ourselves first.
Well said Annie. Take away the steadiness and it becomes a whirlwind of activity without any quality.
Suddenly out of nowhere we can find ourselves stirred up like a storm in a teacup. It’s an unpleasant state which we understandably want to be free from. But what your words show Nicole, is that through dedication and commitment to feeling rather than reacting, we can heal these mini maelstroms and find an equilibrium to every task in life.
Absolutely Joseph – and it feels so natural when we are living in a harmonious way.
The analogy of a storm in a tea cup is very apt, because sometime the stresses we get caught up in in life are in reality very small, but because we are in them and not look from the outside, they feel very big.
So true Rebecca – our perception is completely distorted.
So true Rebecca, we end up living our life from our ill perceptions and that just doesn’t work because we’ve hidden the truth.
And it is the teaching to ‘observe and not absorb’ by Serge Benhayon that has completely turned my life upside down and inside out, as I climbed out of the teacup altogether.
Well said Kylie – to swim in the sea and not get wet, or to observe and not absorb life – it is something i still work on but its has been life changing as you say.
I agree Rebecca, it is amazing how when we get caught up in life suddenly everything can feel very overwhelming but as soon as we take a step back, a step out of the whirlwind we get to see things for what they are and so do not get overwhelmed by them.
Exactly – i know for me it is not perfect, i still choose to worry or get involved in stuff, but i attempt to keep an awareness so that i can step back and give myself space, to catch myself when i start to get involved, because what we don’t really consider is how draining and exhausting it is to live constantly caught up in a drama or a stress.
It sure is exhausting Rebecca. We are never going to be nor are designed to be perfect but the quicker we can bounce back when we get involved and caught up in life the better. What I find great is that the more loving consistency I build in my life the quicker I can bounce back and catch myself. It has gone from, days, well months or even years, to hours, minutes and even seconds. And with these moments rather than beating myself up I now celebrate how quickly I caught myself slip. It has been a real turn around me and a huge thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for helping to provide the platform and reflection for this.
Well said James, I know that I am far more likely these days to not react, feel frustrated or anxious or off colour without stopping to ask myself what if going on and read the situation. Sometimes I don’t, but I find the more i do the less I stay in the reaction. I have also noticed how I often have a little voice almost, that knows what not to do and I have but to listen to this inner radar and I’ll be fine.
And that is the great thing Rebecca, that we can catch ourselves quicker and quicker when we go into reaction to something. It makes it a lot more pleasant for everyone around us as well. Growing up life and reactions would build up in my body that I would have to vent and usually my parents copped it. But it always felt horrible they had not done anything wrong. The more I catch myself reacting to things the less they can build up inside me and so I now no longer find myself venting like I used to do.
I agree, I find so often in life a cycle appears – someone gets upset about something, be it a conversation or something someone said, or maybe they are just not feeling great that day, and they then say or do something that upsets someone else, who then gets upset and reacts to them, and then carries that around, effecting how they are with others, so that someone else might also react to them and so on. When we don’t stop and feel whats going on with us, our mood or reaction and start a chain reaction that continues until someone is able to stop and look beyond and realise that maybe there is more to the mean comment or barbed reply, and so not to get upset by it.
So true Rebecca, the chain effects of our actions and choices when we look at them can be cringe worthy. It takes responsibility to a whole new level when we see how even the smallest choice can have major knock on effects. We then tend to explode at people , I know I have, who have nothing to do with has been going on and then as you say it repeats with them.
thats right Rebecca and Kylie, when we are in the tea cup, the storm can be engulfing our whole world and our whole existence. The teachings of Universal Medicine helps to restore everything into its true perspective and the teacup takes its proper place within the vast grand order of the Universe
Well said Anne, to be able to step back from the chaos of life and have the tool to give yourself space, means when something happens you are not at the mercy of it, caught up in reacting, but can choose to see it and instead of reacting, respond.
Absolutely true Rebecca, we get caught up in the storm, but when we allow more holding and stillness in our body’s, we are able to observe the storm in the tea cup, or the emotions, and be less identified and caught up.
Yes well said Joseph Barker. We do not have to join the fray but instead we can learn to stay with ourselves and be the calm in the centre of the storm.
‘A storm in a teacup’ I know exactly what you mean Joseph. I have started at a new job the other day and yes there was this storm because of the pressure that I put on myself to be perfect. I could feel the enormous tension this was causing in my body. Really old patterns from when I first started a job came back to fall into and now and then it felt as if there is no other way. It is a very good exercise to come back to observe myself and the situation. I know there is this opportunity to heal and to love myself more to be in the same quality at work as I am at home.
Wow Nicole, the changes you talk about are immense in their 180 turn around. I bet you are much more pleasant and joyful to be around! So many people live the life you describe pre meeting Serge it is so ‘normal’ to be overworked, overwhelmed, overstretched and sick. The fact you can in most cases turn this around with the commitment you describe is amazing.
I love this Nicole “At work I began to accept I didn’t have to know or do it all; that everyone had something to offer and when we all worked together everything that was needed would be achieved.” imagine if the world of school and work and family was like this where everyone was valued equally, it would be a very different place to the one we are creating at the moment. So much we can bring about very easily with just a little bit of honesty and more love for ourselves. Very inspiring.
I love that too Vanessa, it would be very different if we dropped all comparison or thinking that we need to be good at everything and instead appreciated how we can all work together.
“I realised that making changes with the way I was at home and the quality of my self-care helped me with how I was at work, and vice versa.” – Yes I’ve found that too Nicole – that how I live at home before I get to work affects how I am when I get there and vice versa.
I agree that the way I am in either affects the other and have learnt we cannot compartmentalise our lives as there is one common factor in all areas and that is we take ourselves to all of them!
Thank you Nicole for sharing your experience and the power in making self loving choices that have healed the Fibromyaliga, which is a very debilitating disease.
At times I find myself standing/bending in a posture that hurts and is uncomfortable for my body. I ponder as I feel the discomfort : ‘at what point in my life did I override these feelings in the past and continue working/moving making uncomfortable seem normal? My sense is it starts very young, so if we observe this in children it would be a great support to guide them into an awareness of how they are moving and using their bodies.
The commitment to being loving and caring with ourselves builds a foundation that will support us in being simply who we are.
Your words are just what I needed to hear Carolien so that I am reminded to just keep it super simple and surrender to my own self love.
So true Carolien, and so simple. we never have to try to be anyone, because we already have it all within. but this can only be brought out through that foundation of love.
It’s so true Carolien, it is our commitment to ourselves that creates the space for us to be more of the love that we are; appreciation and self-care are the key.
in reading your reply Francisco I can feel how stillness and presence can create this space for us to then drop into ourselves as it where. In this being the appreciation and self-care becomes natural.
Paying attention to the way we stand, the quality in which we move, the choices we make in the day, it may seem simple and nothing ‘big’ but it is the way to completely change our lives around in every area. The quality in which we live is what determines what our heart, relationships, work and wellbeing.
I agree Carolien, it may seem too simple, but it is profound and powerful beyond measure. It is the way to arrest the domination of an unruly mind and the dramas it creates, and instead allows our true essence to be felt and connected to.
Nicole it was a great joy to read your awesome blog as both my mum and dad were hairdresser and so I grew up with all the drive, stress and overwhelm you have written about. It was a great reflection for me and helped me to get a deeper understanding what was really going on in my family as for me this kind of life was so normal. Your blog helped me to look from the outside so to speak and gave me the possibility to finally understand that it was not my stress or overwhelm I was living for so long – Thank you.
Starting to run before the day has commenced is certainly very exhausting. Being ahead with our thoughts and already solving problems which are not in the present moment yet, separates the body and the mind. To be present with the mind and the body in every moment is the key. Letting work come to oneself instead of heading towards it. Honouring what the body asks for and not overriding it. This is certainly the best recipe for a healthy life.
I love what you say with this blog Nicole, that it is about the quality of life we live, either we are at work or at home. There should be no difference in the dedication to the love we live in whatever place or situation we are in. Life is about living that quality we all equally carry in our inner-hearts and that not needs to be restricted in any way.
The realisation of “I could feel there had to be a way to make other choices that would give me a life and not an existence” is important to have as it takes us out of the illusion that we have to accept life to be an existence while that is far from the truth that life actually is and of which we all have a knowing of but have conveniently forgotten about.
There’s only one possible answer to this question Brendan, and that is a very big no. We are too precious to run our lives for the “expectations of others”, as in the process we not only do incredible harm to ourselves, we also harm those around us.
Since the first day I met Serge Benhayon I have experienced many “aha” moments, some small and some monumental, but one of the pivotal ones was, like you Nicole: “becoming aware of choices that I had made” which led me to ” feel why it was that I had got to this point in the first place”. With this incredible awareness I finally had a starting point from which I took the first step back towards me, the me that I had left a long time ago.
Beautifully said Ingrid – I can relate to this. It’s like the first step back to ourselves and the first step to saying YES to living responsibly. When I started looking at my choices I realised I can not blame another for anything, that it is all with me and my movements in life. This in itself feels really empowering and that in each and every moment I have the chance to choose something that either supports me or does not.
Thanks Nicole for your blog. from reading your story, you can see that there’s an interesting link between the way we live that contributes to illness and disease. …”run by the clock; a clock that made me feel like I never had enough time to get done what was needed, let alone time for myself to stop, eat or re-assess the day…” and having expectations, demands on ourselves allow steps to run the body. It is great to read how you changed all, simply and consciously taking self care, showing its very possible to reduce or even stop symptoms of illness & disease. We have to consciously choose it.
So well said Nicole and very inspiring…’it is all simply me being me doing whatever is needed or resting if that is what is needed.’ Compartmentalising life is such an illusion and leads to being let down, disappointment and excitement. We reserve ourselves and not give certain times our all, because we are waiting for the holiday or the weekend to be ourselves. I can feel the emptiness in this as it is how I have lived some of life. The potential to live and be with me in all situations and hours of the day feels very yummy!
The question is why do we as we are in physical bodies wait for the ill-ness or dis-ease to take effect before we even consider the stop or what our bodies are showing us before that??
I love your example here of work life and home life being one and not indeed separate as we so often are led to believe – and as we so often conveniently (for ourselves) accept. How can they be truly separate though, if it is you in connection with yourself, being in both situations! It makes a nonsense of what we’ve grown up to believe.
Agree Rosanna, the moment we separate the both, we separate ourselves and are then able to judge the one or the other as strenuous or exhausting. Or we are able to put in one or both more effort. Rather than holding all areas of our lives – private and work – equally important.
It’s very telling when we feel exhausted or overwhelmed at work. Feeling this way, which I often do is showing me that I am expecting work to give me something and because of that expectation there are then multiple and myriad disappointments which are so depleting. Changing our focus in life to the quality we feel on the inside and living from that changes everything. Then it’s not about the world give us something, it’s about what we bring to the world.
It changed my life when I started making self loving choices for myself and also letting go of expectations.
Every health organisation, medical journal and research institute needs to read this blog. The answer is to the armageddon that is the state of the world’s health, is staring us in the face.
‘I began to stop having expectations of how my day should be and in doing so, found that not only did I feel less stressed and exhausted, more was actually achieved (without trying) and completed with clarity and an understanding of others and myself.’ This is so what I’m working on at the moment because I recognise how I usually work when the work-load increases, is unsustainable and I am making myself ill.
Wow Nicole I am floored reading your first paragraph – you have made me sit up and realize that I am still holding this belief ie that work and home are separate. How did I not see this before now?!!! I sure have my work cut out for me this week. Brilliant opportunity for working on my next X thanks Nicole.X
It is Beautiful to be in the presence of somebody who’s taking True care of themselves. It leaves me unimposed and invited to surrender to my own care. It’s so different to connect to the Love and Care in people, rather than all the things where evolvement is still possible. The issue with the last part is that there’s always evolvement possible and whenever connecting in a comparing way we’re relating to the outside world from the perspective of the outside world telling us who we are. As a matter of fact, we’re in one way or another competing with each other. That in itself is taking us away from ourselves. Accepting life, ourselves and others is the greatest gift we can offer The World – which of course includes ourselves.
Comparing ourselves to and competing with others absolutely crushes our connection to ourselves and others and therefore the potential to develop and grow.
Yes Lucy, and it needs a lot of honesty and willingness how much we compare and compete with each other. That’s at least my experience. It’s our lack of appreciation of ourselves that leaves us ‘existing’ in comparison to others, rather than being connected to ourselves and ‘living’ from here. From this perspective the word Life gets a whole different perspective to me. Life is not the events that occur, those are the manifestations and logic consequences of Life itself. The key is to learn to connect to the Life inside and live from here. I feel myself as very delicate, joyful, fragile, sacred, loving, caring and still when I am indeed connected to me. Words get a totally different meaning when I choose to feel them, rather than just ‘use’ them.
You are right, Serge Benhayon is no hippie dude Nicole. He is the most humble, normal person. But he lives in a way that represents what we are all looking for – truly lovingly – and he role models to us everyone’s potential to do the same.
“I was no longer seeking a solution, or looking for a band-aid that would best fit” it’s a wonderful moment when we find this point – as there is only true change when we get honest about the state of the ‘wound’, rather than reach for the band-aids.
‘…accept that there may be days where not everything I wanted to do would be completed.’ This to me is a very important one that I am still working on, it prevents bringing complication and overwhelm in my life.
Very inspiring to read your blog Nicole, I can relate to discovering what you write about accepting that I didn’t have to know or do it all and that everyone had something to offer and when we all worked together everything that is needed will be achieved. This gives so much more space to see that we are part of a bigger picture.
Most of us would be happy just to stop the spin. You re-learned to define a new normal of quality and connection, Nicole, that is consistent as the sun’s eternal fire. Thank you.
Beautiful comment Felix.
Self care is such a powerfully healing tool which is fluid rather than static in its’ motion. I mean we can continually go deeper in the care we give ourselves. What you have shared Nicole is showing us the depth of self care that is possible and how life changing this is. Thank you.
Yes good point Anne, it’s easy to get stuck in a routine or doing things a certain way because we know they have worked for us but it doesn’t mean that it necessarily always will, it’s good to be open to change and feeling what is needed next…
Yes, Fiona, developing a relationship with our body helps us to feel the preciseness of how we need to care for ourselves from one moment to the next.
‘When I watch myself now, I observe myself doing what is needed,’ This line stood out for me today. It is such a gift we give ourselves when we are willing to observe ourselves, – bringing it back to the simplicity of this is profound.
Living 2 different lives and changing the way we are when we’re at home vs. when we’re at work is actually encouraged and triumphed by many people and families. If Mum goes to work every day and gets stressed, frustrated, overwhelmed, reactive and counts down the minutes to the end of the day, then Dad and the kids pray each evening that she comes home in a different state! Instead of addressing the issues and problems at work, many of us substitute looking at them with burying them and flipping to ‘Persona 2’ – but of course it is impossible for the behaviours to not play out everywhere as you can only push so much of the frustration and hurt away.
Fibromyalgia can be a very difficult condition to overcome, because the behaviours that lead to it are so engrained in our day to day lives. But in my experience I have learnt how with some simple changes, diligently committed to each day, the affects of this condition can be turned around, and can eventually be gone completely.
Lifestyles now days for many are chaotic and not supportive. Many can relate and I was thinking about it the other day at work whilst reading this. Your story explains so well what happens when we begin to love ourselves deeply. Thank you for sharing Nicole.
What an awesome sharing Nicole, it goes to show what a difference life can be like both for ourselves and for others when we truly start to take care for ourselves and our bodies.
Nicole, I can relate to what you have written here about your work, ‘I found hairdressing a job that was run by the clock; a clock that made me feel like I never had enough time to get done what was needed’, I also found this in my work as a photographer, i would be given a set amount of time in which to take photographs and this would always cause panic in me that I would not have enough time, i would rush and feel very up against the clock, always working till the last minute, this way of working was very stressful and as i have changed and become more confident and self-loving the work I work has also changed, i am now much more relaxed and use whatever time i have available without panicking and clock watching, i find this flows so much more and creates less of a rush and panic and is a much more enjoyable way to work, i find that i now work in a much more efficient, gentle way.
Thank You Nicole, for sharing about your returning to a normal vitality where “I feel less stressed” and “I realised that making changes with the way I was at work and the quality of my self-care helped me with how I was at work, and vice versa.” For more on how to deal with stress and anxiety go to;
Understanding Anxiety in Men – ONLINE COURSE
http://study.coum.org/enrol/index.php?id=14
Nicole I relate to your experience of “Placing huge amounts of pressure on myself to perform” that we have to hold the whole of our work together and focus so much on controlling each aspect that we miss the simplicity and strength in focusing on the quality we are at work. How we feel, how we relate etc. What a different way of approaching work today compared to the past. As you and many others have shared we have the ability to make empowered choices that can truly change the way we are in life and therefore the quality and care everyone receives.
A beautiful simplicity to life thank you Nicole what an inspiration you are for a life that brings a flow and consistency for yourself and everyone around you. It is amazing how we can change our life by a dedication to healing our hurts and coming from love.
This is huge in that instead of letting the illness take control of your life and the debilitation meaning you could do less and less from simple changes, committing to these and what I can feel in you connecting with you and your relationship with you and life this has in fact turned completely around. I love what you shared here ‘doing more now in a day than ever without getting tired, fatigued or exhausted, and with a body that is now truly vital and alive, and with eyes that glow and skin that shines’. What Serge Benhayon brings to all is an absolute blessing.
an ‘absolute blessing’ indeed Vicky. He gives us the toolkit and then it’s up to us to do the rest – and always with the absolute love and support that is offered from Universal Medicine. Appreciation all round.
So inspiring to read of your transformation Nicole…from ‘getting through’ life according to external factors, to then taking full responsibility for your choices, and choosing another way of being in life that starts with you, which allows space for so much more love, joy and vitality. Beautiful.
Nicole, to live without symptoms of fibromyalgia is absolutely incredible. This does not usually happen, rather people end up on high dosage medications, steroids and also having surgery to stem the pain associated with this chronic condition, all of which further load the body and put it under more stress. To be symptom free is remarkable. It just goes to show that there is another way and there ‘always has been another way’. It is a choice. It matters not where you are on the spectrum, either just at diagnosis or fully amongst the throngs of regular pain injections or being bloated with the use of steroids, we can always introduce and develop self-care in our lives.
A fabulous sharing Nicole and wow what a way you have come. You are an inspiration to others, just as others have been and still are an inspiration to you. What a support you offer to all you meet.
A really lovely inspiring blog to read Nicole, the transformation you made; inspired by Serge Benhayon; is very inspiring.
The expectations we have of ourselves, and others, are so debilitating as you have pointed out. I love the way you dealt with this and began to make self-loving choices;
“This led to becoming aware of choices that I had made and I was now able to feel why it was that I had got to this point in the first place”.
Nicole, you bring it back to simplicity. The overwhelm is something very familiar to me. The stop moments are a choice to listen to the body and feel what is needs to be done from there.
And what a difference listening makes.
“Serge Benhayon certainly was not your average Joe, and he certainly was not full of hippy jargon; he wore shorts and a t-shirt and didn’t smell like he needed a shower or had fallen into a Patchouli bottle.” I love this light-hearted description of Serge Benhayon. He is so approachable and ordinary yet at the same time he is extraordinary.
‘… I observe myself doing what is needed, stopping when I feel like things are getting chaotic, feeling what is needed and then going forth from there.’ Reading this Nicole is so powerful in its simplicity, if one chooses to truly understand what is being said here. It is a life changer.
‘to get to the nitty gritty of everything I had buried over the years that I did not want to feel or express, and let me tell you there was plenty.’ – it is an inspiration Nicole, to read about how someone is prepared to have the stop moment and be brave enough to look at the ‘nitty gritty of everything’ – to be aware and honest about it all. It takes time to arrest those momentums – like stopping a roller coaster on it’s way down a vertical drop at first – and to understand it is always a deepening process which will continue to unfold has allowed me to take a similar journey, without now looking to an end perfection outcome, or judgement. Simply a desire to live life with vitality and love and bring this to the world as a reflection for others to see there is a choice in how we live.
Most people want to exit out of their lives for some form of relief, not realising it could be as simple as the way they live and work. People focus on getting to the end of the day, to the weekend, to holidays, changing jobs, changing careers, retirement, sea change/tree change etc. What this blog shows is that there is actually something more immediate we can do via self care that means the quality at home and work can be the same (ie supportive and enjoyable) and life can shift from being the daily grind to the daily joy.
Well said Melinda. No body likes to look at the option of taking responsibility for how they are and changing to self loving choices. Everything’s the same until someone comes and shows that it can be different.
It was a revelation to me Melinda that the self care we nurture ourselves in means, ‘that the quality at home and work can be the same’ and we can turn living and working in the daily grind around into living with greater vitality and joy.
It is no wonder we get ill and/or exhausted, when we have a war going on in our bodies from the need for recognition and approval with little regard for what is really true for our being. I know I have done this and it is indeed exhausting, rushing meals, pushing to get an unrealistic amount of things done during the day and then pushing on regardless of how my body is feeling. I now realise, through the presentations from Serge Benhayon, that it’s not about stopping, but becoming aware there is a way of being and doing which includes taking me into account, of how I am truly feeling. This also means taking full responsibility for my choices knowing how it affects my health.
It is totally exhausting, not to mention futile, to live for the recognition of others as a way of covering up what we know is not really ok. Serge Benhayon never bestows recognition on those who seek it, instead he appreciates them, thus encouraging people to live with true self-love and in honour of their own Soul impulses. This is a huge difference.
Thankyou Deidre for your very relatable and insightful comment. It’s very true what you wrote about “a war going on in our bodies from the need for recognition and approval with little regard for what is really true for our being.” It does indeed feel like a war inside when we fight the natural way of our body and stress it by not listening to it, chasing after recognition etc and putting tremendous pressure on ourselves.
I used to live life like that too Nicole like a clock that never had enough time, I was always trying to live ahead of myself, which was really exhausting. Stopping the merry-go-round and listening to my body has made a huge difference, and I now live in step with my body, and no longer push myself to cram as much as I can into my day. The amazing thing is I still find I can do as much if not more but without the stress and anxiety of continually trying to beat time.
This article shows the power of our choices and how they change our lives. We are always making choices, so why not make empowered ones?
Well said Elizabeth. When said like this, it’s obvious and makes sense which choices to make.
The pressure we put on ourselves to perform is huge. Like we are constantly asking ourselves to be somebody that we are not. It just shows how we are running this program which is telling us ‘you are not good enough’. I feel this is at the basis of rushing, pushing, performing and expecting.
Beautifully described Gill, how the equality of life and home have become one. To live a quality of life that is consistent in its expression no matter where we are.
“I found hairdressing a job that was run by the clock; a clock that made me feel like I never had enough time to get done what was needed, let alone time for myself to stop, eat or re-assess the day.” To me it feels like I have a chain around myself when life is run by the clock. I feel dense and life is very much a ‘doing’. Enter, Universal Medicine and The Way of the Livingness and learning to live in conscious presence. For a large part of my life I am now no longer ruled by the clock but have a relationship with time that relates to space and it feels beautiful.
There are so many pearls of wisdom in your blog Nicole. Another one that jumps out at me is that you “… didn’t have to know or do it all; that everyone had something to offer and when we all worked together everything that was needed would be achieved.”
This is absolute gold for all professional groups, teams and families. If we all appreciated our own and everyone else’s qualities and skills the world would be a much more harmonious and evolutionary place.
Boy oh boy Nicole your words “Getting serious about my choices and my commitments” really sums up the foundation for the profound changes I have initiated in my own life. It sounds so simple but it has taken a lot of steady dedication and work to do this and Serge Benhayon has stood unconditionally by my side through all my processes on my path back to being able to make clear loving choices and commit to them.
Hello Nicole and great story about the divide between the house and work. It’s amazing when you bring these two closer together to see how much simpler life becomes and this comes through a quality of living. Rather then a strict regime of a time table or something similar. A living quality that is about feeling what is next and responding from there and not going out to ‘get things done’ before 5pm Friday.
Nicole what you share about placing stress on our selves in the workplace is so relatable. “Having developed a quality and foundation of self-care which is always deepening, I now have a foundation for me that enables me to be me, no matter where I am or what I am doing.” This is such a beautiful truth you share and one I deeply appreciate from Serge Benhayon’s presentations and livingness.
There is a loving way to live and work, and it is presented by Serge Benhayon for all the world to see!
Becoming aware of how being busy leaves me no time to connect with anyone has been a big change in both my work and home life. I thought it was because I was too busy, but actually it was because I didn’t want to connect with myself or anyone else. Thanks to Serge Benhayon that has all now changed.
Great comment Heather. It’s the same whether we’re too busy or a couch potato – avoiding connecting with ourself and others. Crazy when you consider that the thing we all long for the most is love and connection.
Amazing Nicole, thank you for sharing. I’ve met many people with fibromyalgia and conditions alike, and many of them feel like it is bad luck that they have the condition, and feel victimised and disempowered. What you’ve shared is so inspiring as you’ve described the incredible changes that can occur if we are open to the fact that our choices have a huge affect on our body, and that this condition can actually be embraced as a sign and opportunity to learn rather than just ‘bad luck’.
Universal Medicine taught me to honour myself wherever and whatever I was doing. This is equally as important at home or being social as at work. It is all one life.
Nicole I love what you share here – so many gems; one for me which stood out was not moving forward in chaos but stopping, taking the time to reconnect and moving from the stillness in us; this is such a different way to how we’re often taught to push through and I know from my learning experience with it – it’s one which completely changes how we are. When I do this I give myself space and suddenly everything feels lighter.
Self-care allows us to plug the holes of our empty bucket, fill it up, and then let it overflow into every aspect of life.
Beautifully shared Matthew – “let it overflow into every aspect of life”.
Beautiful said Matthew. It is so true when you work on one part of your life there is a ripple effect to all other areas.
Yes, Diana, and there is a ripple effect from each and every one of us. Imagine how scrumptious this ripple can be when we are all walking around in deep consideration and care for our selves and for others.
I think it will be beyond our imagination, I certainly would love to experience this with everyone.
Love it Mathew! it is about being honest and responsible for ourselves and commit to being more of the love that we are.
Nicole this is a truly amazing turnaround from Fibromyalgia… something l’ve seen many struggle with over the last 20 years as a practitioner and very few ever deal with effectively. This blog needs to be available for much wider readership as it is a beautiful example of true healing.
Dear Nicole,
What you share here is so very profound. To be living symptom free from fibromyalgia is amazing. Having the willingness to be open to seeing how we are living our lives, is the turning point in our healing. We all need to hear how the power of choosing how we are being in our bodies can and does affect our health and vitality.
When we take away the pressure of expectations and outcomes, there is a release from that obligation and we can simply make the choices we feel to make from one moment to the next, freely and honestly.
I love it too that there is no demarcation between home and work anymore. I remember being so over work by the end of the day that I would race home just to check out in front of the TV! Being connected enough to appreciate myself in everything I do means there is no delineation between where I am and what I do; it is simply about the quality I am in all of the time.
So true Michelle! To now live in a way that flows consistently with the same quality and attention given to every task and activity is a simple and beautiful way to live and understand.
I can only imagine what stress is involve in other occupations as I can cause myself stress in possibly the most stress free job there is if I am not present and get too far ahead of myself. Being made aware of this is such a gift.
This is so true Kev, ‘I can cause myself stress in possibly the most stress free job there is if I am not present and get too far ahead of myself’, I used to get really stressed with my job and continued this for years – I thought it was just a stressful job, I have changed this recently and realised that I do not need to get anxious before work, that I am perfectly capable of doing my job and that if I am present rather than ahead of myself then I actually really enjoy my work – this is a real turnaround!
“At work I began to accept I didn’t have to know or do it all; that everyone had something to offer and when we all worked together everything that was needed would be achieved”. Knowing that we don’t need to take on the world and that being responsible for simply being ourselves in presence is all that is required, supports everything else flow.
This is huge, so important to remember this and to also surrender and allow others the space to do their part and for us to appreciate this.
I just loved reading this sentence too, Marcia. I feel I’ve always expected a lot of myself, I grew up in the role of the ‘peacemaker’, not sure if this contributed, but every time I read this …. ‘ I didn’t have to know or do it all; that everyone had something to offer and when we all worked together everything that was needed would be achieved’ …. I can feel my whole body relax a little bit more. It’s not down to me. It feels so beautiful to allow the space for everyone to take a part and contribute, then each and everyone feels supported and the group unites to make the whole.
Nicole I feel that we almost hit the point you describe here with “Eventually I realised that I could no longer continue with the way I was working as a hairdresser or living in general”. What it further confirms to me is that no matter what we do its the way we are that really matters. The issue most of us then have is what do we do when we realise we can’t continue to live in one particular way? Where do we turn? The answer I’ve come to understand is that its when we then start to connect and listen to ourselves and make choices from us not what we are told to do that things can really change.
Isn’t it interesting that when we let go, stop trying and start being we become so much more productive. There is less to get in the way, things become simpler, and rather than trying to do everything ourselves we can feel what we can do and what we need help with. Thanks for this oh so simple reminder Nicole.
Beautiful reminder Simon. Letting go of trying and allowing simplicity.
I know Simon on one level it does not make sense but it makes perfect sense on another because we spend so much less time worrying or stressing about how we are going to do everything and just do it!
Trying, worrying, needing things to be a certain way – all these things constrain us and keep us boxed in. When we just let go, we are suddenly free – free to enjoy and create the spaciousness around us.
And in this spaciousness I find literally anything and everything is possible. Tasks I once never dreamed of doing are done. I blow myself away at times!
‘And in this spaciousness I find literally anything and everything is possible’ – beautiful, James.
I feel we are constantly under estimating how awesomely amazing we are …. once the constraints are off, the sky’s the limit! We are free to shine and enjoy just ‘having a go’ and seeing where it leads.
Exactly Alison, I used to spend hours deliberating over should I do this this or that, when I could have already done it! The more decisive I am, the quicker I do things and the more productive I am, and contrary to what I would expect the more energy / less exhausted I am!
That’s a great call Simon, doing things from our true being and not at the expense of it.
I agree Simon. Letting go of the idea of having to do it all by myself has been very liberating. I am now comfortable asking for help, and it feels wonderful to be able to accept the support of others.
Getting support during challenging times is such a simple idea, and yet I’ve spent a lifetime making it more difficult than it has to be. Time to change the record.
Nicole this blog is a gift that brings to my attention that no matter what work we do, it is always about who we are and how we are first. If I am honest I had preconceptions of what it was to be a hair dresser – either a lot of them were over weight or under weight and it was a laid back job with the only strain being blowdrying long hair. Boy was I wrong. It shows me loud and clear that no matter what the job or the role, there is always a stressful way to do it that can impact how we are – or there is a way to work from who we are first and the job is just an expression of that. It is gorgeous to read that you now work this way and have come to change your life based on the quality of your choices. This is just amazing to read no matter what the career.
Nicole, I can so relate to what you have written here, ‘Placing huge amounts of pressure on myself to perform, Often disliking my work due to pressures I had placed on myself’, this was my experience too, I even wanted to stop my work because I found the pressure too much, this has changed now that I am more confident in myself, I can feel how the pressure and expectations I have placed on myself have eased and so I am able to enjoy my work much more instead of being in self criticism and self doubt.
I can totally relate, rebeccawingrave. I know only too well the feeling of suffering under self inflicted high and relentless expectations. It is indeed exhausting and you always feel like you’re ‘failing’ on some level. To let go and choose to embrace myself for who I am and to not feel like I have to be able to ‘do’ everything is so empowering and I’m now also so much more able to appreciate the different ways in which people do the same things. Many roads lead to Rome and it’s beautiful to allow all the different flavours of creativity to flourish.
Absolutely Gill. There is such a strength in consistency and the ability to take this consistency and strength with us in all that we do. Very inspiring.
Nicole these are key ingredients you share which turned your life around and pointed you in the opposite direction – back to yourself: self awareness, listening to your body, being prepared to look at your hurts and expectations, and that one, inspiring, catalyst of a session, with Serge Benhayon are a recipe for true success.
This is beautiful Nicole. I never cease to marvel at the importance of truly caring for ourselves. Lack of self care can manifest in many different ways and it is amazing when we end up in a situation or with an illness and look back at the choices we have made to see why we are where we are. By choosing differently you have changed your life, this is truly inspiring.
Thank you Nicole for such an open and honest sharing, I can say that as a Hairdresser and Business Owner of 12 years I can very much relate here and as I have made enormous changes to my living way at work and at home I can now look back with fresh eyes and truly appreciate the enormity of what it took to make those changes and further more to actually commit to them and have them in my foundation. Amazing really on many levels to see what is possible even when you think that it is not possible to change.
I would love to get my hair done by you Amina.
I was having my hair cut yesterday at my hairdressers and they lady washing my hair asked how my day was and I shared with her how lovely it had been. She made a comment that it is good when the day goes quickly and it stopped me in my tracks as I realised that this is not the case for me anymore. I am no longer wishing time away, because I bring conscious presence into all that I do, I am not willing time away as I once was. I had forgotten that so many people live like this, always looking to the end of the day to gain some relief. I explained that I no longer felt like this and why.
Donna that is something to really appreciate. I also would wish away the day, however since finding Serge Benhayon and learning to live from my essence each day is becoming something joyful to explore, as opposed to something painful or crushing that I could not wait to be over.
Yes, Donna, willing the day away by wanting it to be busy is quite a common saying amongst people. It is lovely, and quite a moment to clock not having this attitude for how you are willing the day to finish, and the way that has happened is by taking self care, self love and being consciously present, then one day you realise how …”being at work and being at home became the same quality…”
It was probably a lovely change for your hairdresser to hear someone sharing how genuinely lovely their day was. So often the initial response to ‘how has your day been?’ is ‘good’, when everything about our body language, facial expression, voice, suggests otherwize!
It’s beautiful when we recognise that we can’t compartmentalize our lives, that how we are say at work is also a reflection of how the quality we live in when we are at home. And when we step it up in one area, it then steps up how we are in all area’s.
It’s a great reflection Donna. I can often place more importance on outcomes at work because people will see it but I am seeing how I am in my personal life greatly affects quality of work and also my relationships at work.
There are many facades we can wear but none are who we truly are. It is these facades that separate each area of our lives from one another, and the keeping up of appearances is exhausting and draining, and it creates complexity.
However when we choose to connect to ourselves and our innate natural rhythm everything flows and is naturally connected – there is no way of being in one area of our lives, and a different way elsewhere….it is simply one life and one way of being within it.
I agree when it was first presented to me that how we are at work and how we are at home are one in the same and compartmentalising life (which is what we all try to do) does not work, it was a game changer. It is so much simpler to just be who we are everywhere in our lives rather than trying to be different things to different people in different situations. It is exhausting just thinking about it!
It was lovely Nicole to read about the simple changes in your life and how once we begin to support ourselves things begin to shift and life becomes more vital and fulfilling.
It is beautiful how when we start to make space for ourselves, time and it’s apparent constraints totally change. What I felt in your words Nicole is that the true work we are to do is breaking the mould of the beliefs about what we should and shouldn’t do. Then whatever shop or office we are in, our day can be full of play. Inspiring.
Very true Joseph and something I too have personally experienced. When we allow ourselves to the grace to stop and make time to connect to and care for ourselves in the day, our entire attitude to work alters. What was once a chore, a bore or a pressure to deliver transforms into an opportunity to bring all of our loving attention, care and integrity to whatever we do, able to admit what we don’t know with ease and apply what we do know with joy. From the outside little may have appeared to change, same job, same person, but underneath a complete change of heart.
Love it, Joseph. You have beautifully and tenderly hit the nail on the head …. ‘the true work we are to do is breaking the mould of the beliefs about what we should and shouldn’t do’ …. when we can achieve this, it’s almost like we’re working in another dimension where time moves around us.
Spot on Joseph, it is letting go of the images we hold about life and ourselves that allow us to see that we don’t need to run around and do everything or save everyone as it is all there for us – we just need to bring that deeper level of self-care and love to get there.
I can relate to many of the patterns of behaviour you have listed here Nicole and I used to do many of them. I have also changed completely how I am at work and home with the support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, including many of the amazing practitioners that have studied under UM. The old patterns do sometimes make an appearance and there is no perfection, but I can usually spot them quickly and the difference now is that I know and have experienced that there is another way to live life and it does not have to be from overwhelm, stress and disregard of myself and my body.
What a great example of the power of self care and the role it has to play in medicine.
Nicole, your writing is very healing to read. I can feel the deep love that you hold for yourself, rather than the berating self criticism one could easily develop when realising things could be different. To feel this is beautiful and amazing.
It is wonderful to be reminded that we always have the opportunity to choose our way of moving through life. You are still working as a hairdresser and yet everything about your life has changed, this is amazing and shows how much simple changes can lead to gigantic turnarounds if we make it about love first.
What is exhaustion? I’m thinking there are many facets to it, but constant drain of not living in a support of true rhythm feels pretty spot on for me. I’ve been feeling and seeing it in my life and around me lately with the message to STOP and reassess what choices are being made. I love your inquisitiveness and dedication Nicole, to understanding yourself and choices and coming to a point where you aware of the quality being lived. Now that’s true medicine and has proved itself so as you’ve shared.
I can relate to doing it all and all at once! Feeling into that more I can see there is a lack of appreciation for what I bring and what I can do. By doing it all at once and more than I need to I am looking for recognition for my abilities and control over situations. So allowing myself to appreciate the little things seems like a beautiful antidote to the need to be seen as being great at it all.
I agree Rachael, stopping to appreciate the small things supports you to have a different momentum for the day as you are more aware of yourself and others.
Your experience Nicole with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, highlights the truth about Serge, how he is completely opposite to the image the smear campaign are trying to portray him as.
The media smear against Serge Benhayon is perpetrated by a small few who don’t want to be confronted by what Nicole has embraced – taking responsibility for her own life and wellbeing.
Exactly. It is just an avoidance and huge reaction to take responsibility but the thing is eventually it will all have to be faced.
That is exactly what it comes down to Heather. We either take responsibility for our own health and wellbeing or we find ways to avoid that. A smear campaign against someone who truly supports others to take responsibility is the perfect way to avoid responsibility.
Absolutely, Heather, it’s the classic human reaction …. what do we do when we don’t want to take responsibility …. we blame someone else and make them responsible for the ‘hurt’ we are feeling.
Yes well said Heather, it is the perfect set up to avoid responsibility and keep giving our power away to others that will save us.
This is true Johanne. And it also highlights that the smear campaign is utter nonsense. The many many people from all over the world who now live truer, natural and deeply caring lives are also a direct testimony of the love, steadiness, support and truth Serge Benhayon offers.
Nicole, how inspiring to see how introducing self care and honouring of yourself actually has enormous positive changes in health, with illness symptoms reducing and even stopping. There has to be a study in this relationship, as it shows the way you live, is actually medicine to the body.
I agree Johanne, it’s pretty profound that an illness such as Fibromyalgia that the medical profession has trouble understanding, has been cured by self care. What we can see here is a very stressful lifestyle and choices to not deal with hurts prior to the illness, and the change to self care and feeling all the hurt in the body. That fact that Nicole is now not only free of symptoms but also working and living well is incredible. Definitely something important here to be studied.
Great blog Nicole. You mentioned about seeing work and home a two separate areas of life. This was something that is quite obvious as so often I hear how people just don’t want to be at work and while at work, acting up, complaining or counting down the hours until they escape like it is a prison. The prison is really our own attitude and ideals we have around work and I wonder how it must feel like to be at the end of your working life and reflect back on just how negative or unsatisfied it has been. It really feels like a lot of wasted time and opportunity for so many things
I love this comment Matthew. We create our own imprisonment with our attitude and ideals with work, rather than just doing it all joyfully. Thanks for your reflection.
What a great way to say this matthew. It is our attitude,choices and way of being that is the prison. Being us allows us to be all of who we are in places that are busy or demanding.
‘It is our attitude,choices and way of being that is the prison.’ So true. It really is up to us.
I agree Johanna – Matthew’s expression paints a very clear picture of how we can actually imprison ourselves with our own attitudes and ideals we have around work.
So true, Matthew, I feel I used to be this way a little too, despite mostly enjoying my jobs over the years and the people I’ve worked with. In the last few years I’ve realised that it isn’t what I do that’s important, it’s how I do it and allowing myself to be there in full, no holding back. This has completely changed my whole outlook and I love working now. I can’t imagine not working, I deeply value having purpose in my day.
Great point Alison, the actual job at hand or our job tittle isn’t important at all what is important is the energy we do it in. For me being consciously present with myself is the first step and checking in with myself regularly throughout the day supports me to support others in the workplace with my reflection.
Well said Gill. lt feels so much more loving to not make a distinction between both and allow enough love to make it all one.
That’s an all too familiar list of points under experience of work but it is to be deeply appreciated that we can change our experinces in life so simply by addressing our choices whch lead to them.
That is the beauty, we can change our experience in life by changing our choices. We do not need to remain trapped in the same capsule.
Yes Amita, this is so true… it can be easy to go down the slippery slope by a un supportive choice, but the fact is, not to flounder in these ill choices when we recognise them, instead, clock it and the next step to take, is a step out of this with self love and to get on with what we known we need to do and not avoid doing it. Its never too late.
Very true Michael it all comes back to choice we are responsible for our choices.
Absolutely Margaret – we are responsible for every situation we find ourselves in and everything that happens to us. If we don’t like where we find oursleves – start making different choices.
How a person cares for themselves, the depth, tenderness and detail that is imparted is felt and shared with anyone they come in contact with, and in the service industry such as hairdressing and beauty, someone who respects their own bodies such as yourself Nicole, would definitely be my choice to visit. In fact, this is natural and true advertising—our bodies reflecting the choices we make.
Beautifully said Adele. True advertising. Our bodies are a living advertisement of our choices.
Yes, exactly Annie and Adele. Everyone can feel how we live whether they are conscious of it or not, and so our bodies and our movements reflect the love we live and magnetically pull others who feel inspired by that.
Love what you’ve shared here, Adele …. ‘this is natural and true advertising—our bodies reflecting the choices we make’ …. so true and I totally agree, I too would absolutely love to have my hair done by you Nicole. For a woman in particular, trusting someone to cut your hair is a big deal, particularly when you’ve had a few bad experiences. I get on really well with my hairdresser, but I have noticed the more we talk the shorter my hair gets!
Ha ha Alison – l love what you said there: “I get on really well with my hairdresser, but I have noticed the more we talk the shorter my hair gets!”!
I agree Adele. We can choose whether or not we look after our bodies, but the consequence of our decision is that everyone we come into contact with gets to feel and witness the decision we made when we woke up, the evening before, when we overate, how we got ready etc. Our bodies are living evidence of all of the choices we’ve made beforehand, and as you say in the service industry where hairdressers have physical contact with the public and interact with them on a personal level the impact these choices have on the customer is amplified.
Adele I would like it if the best advertisement for every workplace would be if our bodies are reflecting our depth of care. One main question in a job interview should be than – how do you care for yourself?
Nicole I can very much relate to the stress, the rush, the lack of time to care for myself or eat kind of lifestyle, which is how I have learned to live life in a forever non-stop city and an industry (fashion) similar to yours. Re-learning how to care for myself and respect my body is returning again and deepening of self-worth as a woman, and how inspiring to rediscover again the rhythm within that is true. Your reflection in the way you devotedly commit to caring for yourself is deeply healing and inspiring to the hair and beauty industry.
Hello Adele, I agree and through that deep care for ourselves we walk into life in a very different way. It is a knock on that because you live in a deep care for how you are with yourself, this same deep care goes out everywhere in everything. You leave no stone unturned in the world because that stone is symbolic for you and your life. In other words every part of the world is a reflection for you, if you allow it. Or you may be too busy and need to get things done. Up to you and both approaches will possibly look similar but they are poles or worlds apart.
Well said Ray “In other words every part of the world is a reflection for you, if you allow it”.
Yeah I can relate to this too of thinking its just okay if I push myself this one more time but that momentum takes a lot to stop. I have been finding new ways of approaching my working week so that I am not exhausted by the end of it. I had this idea that I am not allowed to ‘stop’ during the work day, that there was something wrong with this. However, sometimes instead of going to the lunch room I take 5 mins to lie down in my car, the difference this makes to how I approach my afternoons is huge. I feel refreshed and ready to go again.
What a great idea to have a 5 minute lie down in the day. I have heard in some modern workplaces, they actually have rooms for staff to take a nap. A very supportive idea.
This is a powerful statement Nicole…”I began to stop having expectations of how my day should be and in doing so, found that not only did I feel less stressed and exhausted, more was actually achieved (without trying)” It always surprises me how much can be done with less effort when we let go of the ideas and beliefs we have around how we should be, and how our day or life should be, and just be ourselves – so much just falls into place, naturally and in rhythm with everything and everyone around us – absolute magic.
And what surprises me even more Paula is that despite, on the odd occasion, having had the experience of the absolute magic that happens when we actually let go and just be ourselves, why we don’t embrace it with both arms and never let it go.
Hear hear, Tamara, well said “why don’t we embrace it with both arms and never let it go”. Letting go of all expectations on ourselves and on others, yes, does result in absolute magic, it is amazing then how everything just flows and falls into place.
So true Paula – when we let go of what I call ‘controlling the day’ and just allow it to unfold then it is like we allow magic to happen.
There are so many points you raise in your blog Nicole. A biggie for many I feel is the expectations we put on ourselves – for whatever reasons, whether that be recognition, having to be perfect, etc, they all have the effect of exhausting us, and if we don’t listen to our bodies, we end up with illness and disease.
It is so very inspiring to read how far you have come, and the loving choices you have made to now live a life full of love, joy and vitality.
And the expectations that we put on our day Paula – that really struck me today. I am going to take this into my day and not have any expectations on how today is going to go. I feel lighter already just writing that!
I agree Sarah this is something I have been working on also, and it is an ongoing development I can see as it really denotes the way I feel in my day, and so the quality of sleep I then have etc.. Expectations are like demands and they really weigh down on my shoulders.
That’s so true when I really think about it Sarah and without even realising it at times. I am going to pay more attention to starting each day without adding expectations.
Yes that is so true, so glad I read your comments, it really is a burden on yourself and your day to have expectations of how it should roll. If we just focus on the quality of our bodies as we go about our day the rest is taken care of, and we sleep super well Amina!
Paula it’s not just the expectations that we put on ourselves that lead to pressure and disappointment but the expectations that we put on others. What a risky variable that is. How often are our expectations of anyone including ourselves actually met for longer than a fleeting moment?
Yes, with expectations we are wanting things to conform to our ‘picture’ of how they should be, which is very confining and rigid and may be at total odds with how things are ‘meant’ to be …. so much more liberating for us to have a more open approach, which allows for the unexpected and potentially, something divine to happen.
Yes, Paula, the expectations that we put on ourselves is one of the big problems we face. We THINK we have to be perfect, THINK we have to please others, it is time that we get out of the thinking, and listen to what our bodies are telling us. Yes, there is a lot of pressure in many workplaces, but sometimes there are different ways of doing things if we just connect to ourselves and work from that point. That way, maybe we can create some space that allows all to be achieved that needs to be done, but without all the effort and angst. While we work under such pressure, then yes, we become exhausted and we end up with illness and disease, meaning time off work then. That is not good for the business because of the increased absenteeism now due to the way people are working.
Your blog took me back to a few years ago when I would not stop to eat. I would eat in the car between jobs, juggling my food on my lap having set myself a schedule that didn’t allow for me to stop. This is an example of how I lived throughout the day – needless to say I was exhausted. Yet I did not allow myself to feel this exhaustion and I just pushed on through. These days I stop to eat, take breaks and even naps during the day when I am tired. I sometimes give myself a hard time for being tired and have expectations that I shouldn’t be, but what I do appreciate is that I no longer fight or ignore how I feel.
This not stopping to eat or even stopping to go the toilet is becoming rampant in work places. I see it in schools and have heard many nurses speak of the busy-ness that stops them from stopping. But this is crazy because when we work we are there to care and support others but what support are we offering if we are overwhelmed and burnt out. And these stats are increasing.
I have been very aware of the energy I eat my lunch in it at work. We have a break of 30 mins, however, I still need to answer the phone when it rings during that time. Mostly there are others in the office and we take it in turns, but not always. I’ve noticed that, particularly when the phones are busy, I’m eating in nervous energy, it always feels so rushed, trying to eat before the phone rings again, then I end up with a stomach ache afterwards. I realise that I really like to take my time when I eat, I don’t like feeling any pressure to eat quickly, rather allowing myself the the time and space to enjoy the food that I’ve prepared for myself.
Yes, this is crazy. It seems the not stopping is part of work and I’ve often felt invited to feel guilty for taking my lunch hours when I do. Often people eat in front of the computer as they work, including myself some days. People leave or get sick and the strain is felt by everyone left. I’m now building a walk before and after work and a lunch time one too especially when my day is all day at a computer and my legs like to stretch. So I don’t rush between appointments I build in realistic drive times. Trying to get somewhere faster than is possible is crazy.
Expecting to do everything faster than is possible for me is also crazy, so why set myself up to be stressed in this way?! Is it me not wanting to be self-caring at work so I fit in and people like me? Am I scared of being attacked for looking after my well-being?! Surely if I look after myself then this gives others permission to too.
Yes, so true Johanna – even today staff members I work with in the hospital setting hold off going to the toilet until desperate because of the need to do for others first. I too used to be like this, but I am more aware of my body’s needs, and recognising that by taking more care of my body I am able to attend to others without becoming exhausted, overwhelmed or resentful.
An alarming picture Johanna: it’s vitally important for teachers, nurses and carers to stop, eat and replenish their body as this affects the quality of care, attention and learning given to students, patients and clients. We all have a responsibility in our work to reflect to others our light, energy and well-being, not ‘overwhelm and burn out’.
Johanna I’ve noticed a growing trend in organisations, the removal of cafeterias and canteens altogether and in new developments the design of tiny lunch rooms and tiny tables that discourage people from sitting too long or communicating with others. Often those that do eat, end up eating at work-stations, are often not really taking a break and may even continue working. Today there is often no ‘stop.’ button. The well-being of the body is forgotten and this is fuelling the rise in exhaustion, illness disease. Twenty years ago,lunch-time used to include, lunch, a walk outside, maybe sit on a park bench, time to socialise with colleagues, this is fast disappearing.
It does seem bizarre that we get so caught up in the doing of work that even stopping to go to the toilet or eating is being neglected.
lt feels way out of balance to offer another something we haven’t got ourselves. If it was an object and we offered it but couldn’t deliver, we would be caught out. However, because it is energy and a service we offer from the quality of our energy, we seem to think it is not important to consider what quality of energy we bring. This is were we are accountable for looking after ourselves first. As Einstein said ‘Everything is energy’ and Serge Benhayon expanded on, ‘Everything is because of energy’. Everything.
The points you make johanna08smith and the comments that have followed have made me aware of how things have changed with regard to having stop moments in the working day. As kehinde2012 pointed out, lunch used to include a time away from your desk and definitely a walk outside. Now, no one leaves the building and eats hurriedly, if at all, while still working at their desks. Lunch breaks have also been reduced to 40 minutes in some organisations, and I know in some schools its only half an hour.
I agree Johanna, our priorities are totally out of whack
A great point you bring up, Johanna how you see people not stopping to go to the toilet. When I look back, I can remember that sometimes in infants and primary school, the teachers would not let children go to the toilet when they needed to and made a fuss about it, telling them to wait until morning tea or lunch time, so some children may develop the habit of holding on at that early age. This could really affect shy, nervous children who do not want to stand out in the classroom.
I work in a school and at times have found myself feeling apologetic for needing the toilet! Which seems crazy that I am apologising for caring for myself. I have experienced that if one person is not doing something i.e. having their proper lunch break then it is expected this is ok for everyone. At times like this it is important to have our own foundation of self care so as not to feel pulled to follow. Knowing I am worthy of the care I give myself is what keeps these choices steady.
So true Johanna. It’s even celebrated in nursing as a bit of a superhero ability. “cast-iron bladder”. Unfortunately the so called cast iron bladder leads to many ongoing problems. I actually tell patient’s I needed to go to the toilet. This supports me to go when I need and helps break that consciousness that everyone else comes first when you are in a caring role.
I know what you mean about giving yourself a hard time if you are tired. Today I had one of those days where I just needed to rest and I had all these thoughts about what I needed to do but I let it go and really just stopped, it was the best rest I have had in a while.
Beautiful, Kristy …. I struggle with this myself, often wanting to push through and then rest when everything is done. But the reality is, there are always more things to do, if I choose not to honour myself in the moment when my body is asking for a rest, what am I really bringing of myself in the things I’m doing, when I’m resisting what is being asked of me. So much more loving to have a rest and then start afresh, just as you chose to do.
I know this too, to be tired and there is a long list of have to do’s. I realized sometimes I do not need only a rest, I need a walk or go for a swim just to bring my body into another configuration because I have pushed through already before I got tired.
So true Kristy, we can be our worst enemy in this way, goading ourselves onwards when in fact the real work of the day is to rest, allowing our body to stock up, replenish and prepare for the next round, so to speak. If we don’t allow our selves the grace to repair and re-charge when our body is asking for it, then we give our selves no other option but to get sick.
I still struggle with the thought I have to be working or sleeping with nothing in between, and am still getting used to the idea that I can be resting just sitting down enjoying a cup of tea or just sit and be with myself without planning my next task in my head.
I can relate to this too Kristy. I’m always focused on all the things I have to do. Its as if I dont expect that my body will get tired, so it always surprises me and I feel there must be something wrong. No, there is nothing wrong, I am just tired and need to rest. Its taken me a while to accept that.
Amazing sharing Nikki, it just goes to show if we take a step back and look at human behaviour, it is quite bizarre and chaotic. What you have shared makes no sense at all to me. We live this way and then wonder why we get ill?
Harry it feels very arrogant of us to disregard what our body is calling for because we know we can push the boundaries of what is acceptable for it.
However with the rates of illness on the planet sky rocketing it is a blessing that Universal Medicine is teaching us that there is a more loving, effective and efficient way to conduct our affairs to build healthier, graceful and joy-full lives.
This is a great sharing Nikki and I can very much relate here and although I have made huge changes myself it is still not perfect and sometimes I fall back into old habits. It is very honouring to stop and do what the body needs and take the time that is required for this also. I have very busy working schedules I find even when I can’t stop I work on changing the way I am working and this has become much more honouring than it could have been which totally supports me for the rest of the day.
Love what you share here, aminatumi. I spend quite a lot of my day at the computer and I’ve been noticing how ‘energising’ little tweaks in my posture are, or doing some gentle connective tissue exercises at my desk, it feels very nurturing to be bringing myself back to my body.
What you share here nikkimckee is very common in the workplace. I get a 45 minute lunch break, but is sometimes gets reduced to about 20 minutes after I have tended to work issues. Then I end up eating my food in a hurry. I am so used to rushing my food that I now have to make a conscious effort to eat more slowly.
That feels like a big key to making lasting lifestyle changes, choosing to no longer ignore your bodies signs or fight how you feel. When we can become our own best friend and best parent, choosing to nurture the hurt little child within, with love, appreciation and understanding, our life can begin to be more simple, graceful and flowing.
What you describe is very common, where sleep and food and rest drop to the bottom of the list in life
It is so sad that nowadays people do not have time to have a true lunch time, time to do all the little extra things that need to be done for personal reasons. I remember a long time back now, when I was in my first job in Sydney, we had an hour for lunch. It was long prior to the modern computer and mobile phone thank goodness. I would take my lunch to the local park, or down by the harbour, sit and have my lunch and take a walk along the harbourside walkway, or otherwise down into town to do a tiny bit of shopping, to save me trying to do that after work on my way home. It is no wonder the shops are open until so late now, people don’t have time off their jobs to do it during the day. It was also a time that one could meet up with a friend for lunch, a great time to have a little socialising. It would seem that there is no longer any me time in the so-called almost non-existent lunch time nowadays. It is not healthy for us to be living in such pressure as we do now.
In my workplace, many people sit and eat their lunch hunched over their desk as they work because they are so busy. I notice that most of them are reaching for coffee, coke or sweets by mid-afternoon to keep going until knock off time. There is so much that contributes to how we feel during our working day, and I know if I’m looking after my body by how I sit at my desk, stop and eat lunch, go for a short walk, etc, I don’t feel exhausted like I used to when I was always rushing everywhere and not stopping to take a break.
I used to get caught in the trap, and it still comes up regularly (I just don’t give it as much attention as I used to) that because I am being paid I should be working. Yet when I stop to eat, take a nap, or move I am far more productive. I could work through those moments when I feel tired but you get a very small amount of me. If I take a 15 minute nap you then get all of me, which is much better value for money 🙂
I agree nikkimckee – taking a short break is an investment in ourselves. If I need a short nap or a walk at lunchtime, I come back feeling refreshed.
It is awesome to hear that we have choices. That life does not have to be a continuum of rush, overwhelm and stress. That there is another way.
Thank you, Nicole, there’s a lot to read and re-read in this. I love that you are able to be the same at work and at home, after all, we are one person, just moving from one place to another – why should we change? I also like the point you made: ‘ I’ve found I’m no longer trying to move forward from and in the chaos, but that I can choose to move forward from the stillness within myself’. This is important – sometimes we drive onwards even though we know we need to stop and reassess where we are.
We tend to think it is the doing in life that drains us. “We need a break from work” etc. But it is not the doing that drains us so much as the way we go about doing it. Thus why with modern life, we do need stop points. However, the fact that we need stop points should make us pause and consider the quality of how we have been going about doing life the rest of the time. For where our rhythm with life true, we would not need to stop so often.
It is the motion within that kills us, not the motion of going about life that is our downfall.
Absolutely Adam… it’s the quality within expressed outwardly which makes the difference and determines the level of drain, or that which supports us in everything we do.
When you stop consider it like this Adam, it is indeed revealed as daft. “Cor, I’m absolutely knackered, I need a break.” …..or, the more extreme version….”I’m sorry to tell you Mr.X, but you have Prostate Cancer.” Yet even that, doesn’t stop us from looking at why we are knackered and if there might be another way of doing whatever it is that is knackering us. The reason we allow this utterly illogical play of events to perpetuate is that we attach far greater value to what we do, than what we are. Thus it is with a conscious willingness that we are quite happy to exhaust our bodies to feed the external illusion that is created and maintained by our activities. Rather than stopping, investing in ourselves and then, shock-of-all-shocks, perhaps discovering that we are everything already.
It does take one step at a time to let go of the ways of functioning that we have become so accustomed to. Thank you Nicole for sharing how we can turn our life around one step at a time.
I love the theme of your blog with the belief that work and home were 2 different things. I used to think that too. I divided my life into parts and thought I had to play a different role in every part. A lot of beliefs and a lot of strain on my body.
Yes, the consistency part plays an enormous role that I think we often underestimate.
Yes, that’s a good point Elodie, I rarely focus on the consistency of what I am doing, I prefer to switch on and switch off as it suits. My focus tomorrow is going to be on consistency. Thank you for the reminder.
Another strong testament to Universal Medicine and all it presents. We hold the medicine within when we choose to walk with connection, commitment and love. Great Sharing Nicole.
Something to be absolutely inspired by: “As a result, the quality of my life at home and work have become one; I am more approachable, and no longer living my day in complete overwhelm, exhaustion and chaos. I can connect to people without rushing around doing 100 things at once, and am able to be with them and to have true connections instead of the shallow contacts I had in the past.”
‘I find my days at work are no longer draining or exhausting, but are fun and light.’ This is the ultimate if you ask me. Maintaining a lifestyle that enables a quote like this is IT.
I have read and seen so many testaments to the fact that people’s lives, health, well-being and relationships have done a 360 complete change from implementing The Ancient Wisdom teachings presented by Serge Benhayon. There is definitely something worth studying here.
It’s worth studying those who are living well – as in what is happening here – they are going against the global trend of illness, disease and misery. Too much focus has been on case studies of those who are ill ( which of course is needed at times, but in all due respect has us going round in circles) – rather than those who are living with absolute true vitality.
Testimonials written by people all over the world, from stay at home mums, to doctors, lawyers, builders and teachers. As you say something worth studying!
Reading all the blogs and comments, it is impossible to ignore the overwhelming evidence of the transformational power that Universal Medicine has had on those who have chosen to embrace and live by the loving principles and as such have seen the benefits of health permeate all aspects of their life.
Indeed Samantha. Living proof.
Trying to be all things to all people without considering ourselves in the equation is a sure way to exhaustion and depletion in all areas of life. Thank you for sharing your experience Nicole.
It is very inspiring Nicole how you have transformed your life. This is a great question – “How could I be one way at home and another way at work?” It is so true, it makes no sense as we are the same person at both places. So why do we need to act differently? There are many ideas and beliefs about what work is, why we should work and how we should be at work such as, what it means to be ‘good’ worker, what it ‘takes’ to be successful at work, how work can offer you a great ‘escape’ from your life, just to name a few. I have worked for many years driven by some and all of these ideals. Mostly always coming home exhausted, at times frustrated also and as such not truly able to be myself anyway when home as I would want to check out in some way to manage how I was feeling. I have discovered that building on my connection to who I already am has supported me to develop my quality of presence at home and at work more confidently. And I continue to do so as I now realise that my quality is present wherever I am whenever I choose to live it.
“I observe myself doing what is needed, stopping when I feel like things are getting chaotic, feeling what is needed and then going forth from there. I’ve found I’m no longer trying to move forward from and in the chaos, but that I can choose to move forward from the stillness within myself” We all know things can get chaotic and how rattled we are when we get caught up in it. We have the option to feel the chaos but remain in stillness; I know which I would prefer. thank you for sharing Nicole.
Your sharing here Nicole reminds me of the power we hold in our own hands about the choices we make. Even if I don’t immediately recognise it as such, I feel the energy that comes from the choices I make and you have simply made choices that support who your naturally are! SO simple and yet I can continue at times to make unwise choices. Any choice to dishonour me is against my nature! Inspiring Thank you!
I can relate to the way you use to work Nicole. As a young hairdresser many moons ago, I also worked with this pressure and seeming lack of time in the hairdressing industry. My days would be fuelled by the buzz of music, coffee and chatter. It was exhausting.
Everything changes when we truly honour and respect ourselves and our bodies and their natural rhythm. It is very inspiring to read how your health changed so remarkably when you were more loving and caring with yourself.
I really enjoyed reading this Nicole, the quality in which it is written emanates with the changes you have made.
“I began to stop having expectations of how my day should be and in doing so, found that not only did I feel less stressed and exhausted, more was actually achieved (without trying) and completed with clarity and an understanding of others and myself”. That is such an important point you made, Nicole, having expectations of how our day should be is something that really caught me out too. I tend to try to plan my day, sometimes even writing down the things that I need to do in the day. But of course, unexpected things always interfere, and I used to get upset that I had not done what was planned. I am gradually learning to let go of that great need to achieve what was planned, have a broad outline of what is most important to do, and let the day flow much more than it used to do. Still very much a work in progress, but I can feel that is the way to go for me.
A great example Nicole that it doesn’t matter what we do, but it is the quality in which we do it in that makes all of the difference. Around 6 years ago, before I came to Universal Medicine I was very close to giving up my profession because I felt bored by it and felt like I was just doing the same thing over and over again. I remember hearing an Esoteric Medicine lecture by Serge Benhayon where he shared that how you feel about your work will change when you are being the ‘real you’ in what it is that you do. I took that on board and put it to the test and low and behold, he was right. How I now feel about my work is completely different and I love it because I bring all of me to it.
Hi Nicole, what you share here is we really have the power to change our lives if we just start making different choices – it really is how we are moment to moment, from being with ourselves and the quality in which we hold ourselves that makes all the difference. And from that point our lives can truly change.
“As a result, the quality of my life at home and work have become one; I am more approachable, and no longer living my day in complete overwhelm, exhaustion and chaos.” Thanks for sharing Nicole, these types of things in our day are very common! It is commonly believed that work is meant to be stressful and that it causes chaos. It’s great to know you have a different experience!
Thank you for sharing the story of the past few years of your life, Nicole, what an amazing story it is. You have shown how it is possible to make a complete change to your life, from a point of having enormous pain from fibromyalgia to the amazing life that you now live, free of pain and such a loving, joyful life both at home and at work. You took responsibility for yourself, with the help of Serge Benhayon, and began to really look after and nurture yourself, when you made time in your life to make that commitment. Such an inspiring story, and that sort of result is open to us all, when we begin to commit to taking true care of ourselves. And of course from that, we can inspire others to see that they can also change their lives around.
Nicole, it is quite extraordinary to consider just how much your life changed because you met Serge Benhayon. It is the same for me. Where I am today is the direct opposite to when I was at when I met Serge Benhayon. It just goes to show how much what he presents works.
There are many people who would say the same thing, including me. Collectively these stories are a body of evidence that shows that what Serge Benhayon presents really does work and may just hold the answers to life’s great dilemmas.
I was reflecting last night on exactly this. I had the most glorious revelation of God in a life and death situation that has transformed that experience for me and others involved. I can see how this is not just a flash of inspiration, but something that has built in me through the years of study with Serge Benhayon and through his lived example. I have an enormous appreciation for his work.
Yes Elizabeth, I can echo that and attest to the hundreds, if not thousands of people I have also supported to make similar changes as a result. The ripple effect of what Serge Benhayon has offered is massive, with Nicole’s story just one drop of so many in the pond.
We students of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon are the living proof and as such there can be no denying of the power of what Serge Benhayon has presented for those who now live it are showing the world what is truly possible.
What stood out in your blog is that the way we work can result in illness and disease. This is huge! Like working with stress and tension and/or totally loosing the sense of who we are in the day can result in the illnesses you described in your blog. Often people say that you get those illnesses from the job but could it be that it is the way we are in the job that really causes these illnesses and diseases?
beautiful Nicole, it is great to read and feel how it is all about life, that work and home is exactly the same there is no difference, as when we connect to ourself we can’t be any different on one place or the other.
When we try to box our lives we are living in fragments. The more I see and live my life as one – that all of it is life no matter where or what I am doing, the more my life flows with ease.
Awesome insight that it is not possible to be one person at work and another person at home. That shows that we are never our true self. Because if we are, then we are everywhere the same.
Yes great point Mariette, having a work persona and a home persona does not work. What Nicole has described in bringing the two together so that both are true expressions of who she is, and not one or both being a ‘role’ she takes on, is huge. This is one of the keys to living a full and very joy-full life in my experience.
We take ourselves with us everywhere we go, and if we are abusing ourselves by being too busy and rushing through our day, the impact of this self-abuse will stay with us wherever we are.
yes, and that is what we seem to forget, that we take ourselves everywhere we go. You can divorce a partner, but you can never leave yourself. This relationship is a 24/7 one, whether we like it or not.
Allowing the day to unfold, holding that sense of purpose yet surrendering to the rhythm of the day. How amazing to live like this and to get more done than you ever thought possible. This way of living creates space in your day. Sometimes I can totally do this and sometimes I get swept up in the day. The gorgeous thing is I can come back to me much more easily these days and there are more days spent allowing the rhythm than not.
There is a whole new way of approaching how we live by being and living in a way that is to what is needed.
Awesome commitment Nicole to taking responsibility for your lifestyle choices and changing the ones that did not support you. Remarkable turn around from some-one with such a debilitating disease.
Yes, the commitment is key to making more loving choices one by one, until we realise that our life is actually going pretty well and our days are no longer a struggle.
I agree marylouisemyers, Nicole is a perfect example of huge changes that can come about by making simple choices to support and care for ourselves and our body.
Yes marylouisemyers, fibromyalgia is for most a chronic, longer term disease that few manage to resolve, let alone heal to the point Nicole describes. This is truly inspiring for anyone suffering a chronic condition.
So true Jenny what Nicole has done is a miracle, but I cannot help but feel that we are not appreciating as much as we could the transformations that are happening to many of us. Healing from chronic conditions, diabetes, depression, severe anxiety, mental illness, moving through drug addictions, having babies when told it was impossible, true healing from cancer, to name a few. We need to get this out into mainstream society, so they can know that they do not have to live resigned to their illness, that they too can heal. We are living inspirations.
Yes agreed marylouisemyers, I know I have come to expect the incredible shifts in health l’m seeing every day through the clinic where I work. Universal Medicine therapies are so effective, that when combined with someone willing to take responsibility for addressing issues and making changes in their lives, the result is a true modern day miracle. Nowhere else are we seeing a turnaround like this as a consistent and normal occurrence.
Thanks Nicole, you express the power of a different kind of very normal, beautifully.
Beautifully said Joel for you have captured our responsibility perfectly… to live and express the power of a different kind of very normal and as such support and inspire others to do the same.
It’s funny how it can feel so crazy different, yet also be so very normal once the choice is made.
Thank you Nicole for sharing your inspiring blog. It really makes such a difference to our well being when we take more care of ourselves. It seems obvious really but I know that in the past this was not my first choice. Now, from building a more loving relationship with myself it is more natural to take care of me and feel the true support this offers, not only to me but to all around me.
Never discount a blessing in disguise.
Thanks for an awesome article Nicole – you have laid out a simple, practical road map for kicking overwhelm and embracing self-care 🙂
‘I began to stop having expectations of how my day should be and in doing so, found that not only did I feel less stressed and exhausted, but more was actually achieved (without trying) and completed with clarity and an understanding of others and myself.’ Yes, Nicole, expectations can be a killer.
What an incredible turnaround Nicole; you are a true inspiration.
To not just balance but to equalize work and private life is (r)evolutionary and key to being consistently me instead of two personas. It is the future – living one life.
Beautifully said Alex. If we are with ourselves it does not matter what we are doing. Whether I am in the office, doing the dishes, reading with my son, all of it is life and all of it can be with me.
That means to be ‘in rhythm’, where the inner and the outer are in congruence, harmoniously supporting and reflecting another.
Yes Alex, and then throw in all the other personas we may adopt with family, friends etc. No wonder so many people suffer with exhaustion. Its almost a 24 hour act, playing all the roles in a movie (your life) where you don’t get to be yourself. Crazy!
When you say it like this it is exposed for the crazy ridiculousness that it is. No wonder that we don´t see much harmony around us, quite the opposite actually. Stepping off the stage and getting real is the real deal, getting to know and be who we really are.
Well said Alex. There is a lot of talk about work-life balance in terms of time, but nobody else I have heard of is saying what is presented by Universal Medicine- that they are one in the same. That it is actually possible to be the same at work as we are at home and to be ourselves in full without holding back or putting on any pretence or persona everywhere in our lives equally.
This work-life balance thing comes with good intention and makes much sense as long as we identify ourselves by what we do. The moment we know who we are, what we do becomes just an expression and activity of who we are, hence not much to balance but some practical everyday things.
Great comment Alex – its much simpler and less tiring to live one life, rather than create 2 (or 3 etc)!
Beautifully said Alex… it is the key to our future you are absolutely right. We cannot sustain the way we run ourselves for work, nor at home… being ‘consistently me’ as you say, and sustaining this throughout the day, regardless of where we are… is the only way for the body to get through each day without being exhausted, stressed and eventually becoming sick.
Realizing and honouring this fact means to actively take health into one´s own hands.
Yes it does, and to begin listening to the body and honouring what we feel. Without this, we will follow a theoretic framework, which will also not work. The body tells us everything we need to know, and listening to it is the first step back to being truly well.
It is quite absurd that we got off the path of listening to the body to then ‘think’ we could come back to health and wellbeing by creating ‘a theoretic framework’.
Yes Alex, and haven’t we created an absolute plethora of ‘solutions’ to our wayward ways to choose from… thinking if not one, then another is the answer.
It is beautiful Nicole to see the changes you have made and the quality of life you now lead and the stillness and consistency in this at home at work and everywhere. A joy to read and feel how we can change our lives with honesty and commitment to truth and ourselves.This is a real inspiration I am learning also thank you.
Wow what a woman…what a sharing…thank You for being so open…so honest…so Yourself…loved to read this blog this morning after breakfast.
Something else that’s apparent is how different it would feel to get your hair cut from Nicole 8 years ago and Nicole now. The whole process would feel like a blessing when a person is connected to themselves and in their stillness. Getting your hair washed by a person who was connected to their body would feel like Heaven, every stroke of the brush would feel amazing! Good grief even that terrible high lighting cap and the crochet hook could even be pleasurable !!!
haha – awesome observation Alexis. I am blessed to have a hairdresser that is connected to their stillness and every time they work on my hair I feel as though I have had a healing. In years past this was not my experience at all, in fact I had to ask many hairdressers to be more gentle as the way they moved often caused me pain. I can see how this plays out for me also. When I make food in a rush it doesn’t taste great, when I clean in a bad mood the house feels worse… there is no escaping the truth of energy and what we feel.
A important point here Alexis and something that I can definitely agree with, as a hairdresser myself I have found that my clients now find it a heavenly experience and they do say it so, the difference between before and after is unrecognisable for both hair washing and hair cutting.
Nicole there is so much that you have shared that stands out as being so different from most people’s experience of life. In particular the fact that you feel the same at work as you do at home. I know that for many, work and home are two radically different things and in addition to that people at work commonly feel different on different days of the week. Monday is traditionally a bit of a slog and Tuesday isn’t much better, things only start to pick up from Thursday lunchtime! How amazing therefore to relish your time, be it at home or work, a Monday or a Friday.
Great to hear your story Nicole. It’s great to know and feel that there is another way.
To some Nicole how you lived your life before you met Serge Benhayon would have been thought of as normal, and almost expected if we want to be successful. As you have shown in your blog it comes at a price, the body is not designed to work under the stressful way we demand of it so eventually it has to stop us from continuing in the reckless and disregarding way by sickness, or ill health. Overwhelm is such a debilitating and exhausting way to live, wondering if we can get through the day. It is great that you have found a true and loving way to work that is supportive to both you and your customers.
It is true that the old way Nicole shared of living is considered normal and in some ways championed. Society’s measure of “success” is a little warped and has some serious flaws.
Such a great practical sharing Nicole and the transformation that you describe is one that effects not only you and all those around you but everyone else on the planet as well. You are responsibility in action. Glorious.
The livingness techniques offered by Serge Benhayon are nothing short of miraculous, as many have discovered, self care does wonders.
Yes Joe – so practical and full of common sense.
Having reread this blog, I’m going to focus on the quality of my day from the beginning to the end of the day, and observe how it changes. It can be quite easy to get drawn into the busy day without realising it. Having more awareness that on some days, it does vary, will expose where we are and what we might be absorbing.
Awesome Nicole, a huge testament to that fact and not only yourself and the choices you have made to love and take care of yourself more deeply, but also to Serge Benhayon and the power of what he offers people world wide, a way to truly empower and heal themselves and with that support everyone else – for not only has this supported Nicole, but her family, clients, work colleagues and I am in no doubt people she passes on the street too. But the huge thing in this is that Nicole no longer lives with the symptoms of fibromyalgia – this is huge in itself and something very much worth asking how is it that she doesn’t have them anymore – self-love and self-loving choices. But, for those with fibromyalgia and those diagnosing it – it is pretty much always accepted and considered this is something you have to live with for life and the symptoms will always be there.
I can imagine how much time pressure hair-dressing must put you under. Every day divided into a series of one-hour slots, meaning that you are constantly aware of the ticking-clock. And each time you achieve a time-target, another one just comes straight in. Very challenging and brilliant that you have freed yourself from that. Huge respect and appreciation.
I had the same thought when I read the opening paragraph. It would indeed be a constant and relentless challenge to not go into the pressure of the clock.
Thank you Nicole, and WOW! This is a true miracle, for so many people run themselves ragged, get sick and feel completely resigned to their situation with little guidance or support as to how to get out of the self made quagmire. What is very significant in your article is the way you began to unite the quality of your home life with the quality your working life, building a seamless boundary between the two, so that one supported the other and vice versa. It a fundamental choice that has supported thousands of people to transform their lives, health and inner well being and a key principle of Universal Medicine. I love your description of Serge Benhayon. So often we have an expectation of what it means to be a healer, particularly in Byron Bay, and when one mets Serge, it is very evident that he comes from a very different space, a space that allows us to feel and see our own way forward with eyes wide open to the quality of choices we have and can make for ourselves. You are living proof that the answers to our problems lay within us and our daily choices, our daily “bread” so to speak. All these choices stack up, day by day, delivering one of two things, health and well-being or stress and disease. Your choice to put yourself first and relinquish the need to be the one who knew everything, do everything and hold the entire show is immense and truly inspirational, thank you.
Thank you Nicole. You tell your story with such clarity, commitment and simplicity. Nothing difficult, no complications, no mountains to climb, or coals to walk across. Serge Benhayon has shown you another way and you have grabbed it. Ace.
I enjoyed the comment about walking across coals Otto, its comical sometimes how we can over complicate things.
It’s great to read this blog now as this last week I have had a particularly stressful week at work. Since having Esoteric sessions and going to Universal Medicine events, my general stress levels are half of what they used to be, but this week the work load has been a lot higher than usual and I find myself going into overdrive to try and get everything done. It really hasn’t felt very loving at all. Things I have noticed are that I am not fully present with colleagues when they talk to me, I am pushing myself and not taking the breaks that my body needs, and I end up much more tired at the end of the day. I also feel this underlying level of frustration. Amazingly, this was everyday life for me not so long ago, so it is great to appreciate that fact that I do not live this as much as I used to. And having read this blog this morning, it has reminded me the ways in which we can approach work so not to get into this state. So here’s to allowing this day to unfold instead of hammering on through it.
I love your honesty Eleanor! It is beautiful to feel how through your honesty you opened the door to let everything in that is shared by Nicole in this blog and how you started to make a different choice already.
Isn’t it awesome with this experience Eleanor Cooper to recognise how much you have changed your life and how clear it is what doesn’t work for you any more. May your day gently unfold.
I can very much relate to what you are saying here Eleanor. I have had a particularly busy couple of weeks at work and have found that my exhaustion levels have been much higher than usual. However I am wondering how much of this was due to the way I approached and got through my days which held dread, overwhelm and overdrive, and how much was actually due to the tasks that needed to be completed. I suspect the former had the largest influence so it was timely to read this blog.
Ha ha well said – we’ve all been there, both ways the rush and the stillness that is, it’s way much more joyful and simple when you’re in your body.
Thank you for sharing Eleanor, the way you express what you are experiencing feels very honest. I love the way you explain what you have observed without judging yourself and top it all off with a big slice of appreciation and a commitment to moving toward a way of living that is more supportive.
With this blog it is clear to see how powerful self-care is, in that it can turn around the seemingly most dire of situations.
What a lovely account of how you changed your life around Nicola with the inspiration of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. And what a drastic change, from living in the pain of Fibromyalgia, being stressed and driven everyday at home and at work, to now clearing embracing and living life joyfully without being in constant pain. These kind of changes are to be celebrated and appreciated. For many people they seem like unattainable miracles but this shows how miracles can happen with a bit of self love.
“I was no longer seeking a solution, or looking for a band-aid that would best fit. It was time to get serious, to get to the nitty gritty of everything I had buried over the years that I did not want to feel or express, and let me tell you there was plenty.” I can really relate to this Nicole accepting our irresponsibility is not easy – true change comes from a willingness to see the route of our choices and the impact these have on how we feel and express.
Wow Nicole, great blog. I have never heard of fibromyalgia it sound very painful. It is amazing to know you no longer have the symptoms due to your commitment to self-care and self-love. It shows how much we can run our body down by over work, over stress and from living with exhaustion. Like you’ve share all this can be avoided by choosing to live a different way that is deeply connected to yourself and others. It’s incredible you are able to work more efficiently and loving your work.
“I was no longer seeking a solution, or looking for a band-aid that would best fit. It was time to get serious, to get to the nitty gritty of everything I had buried over the years that I did not want to feel or express.” Until one is willing to do this there can never be true healing, only putting ‘plasters’ on the problem which can hide a problem so that it appears that it is not but that is only burying it deeper
“This led to becoming aware of choices that I had made and I was now able to feel why it was that I had got to this point in the first place.” Taking responsibility for our choices is the first step to making changes and living a deeper and fuller life. Lovely to read how your life has changed since you made different choices for yourself. Thankyou for sharing Nicole.
Responsibility, a major point worth repeating, as it’s the medicine we all need to take for a healthy, full life.
I always find it inspiring to read in all of these blogs that people are changing their lives. I sometimes think the world would have us convinced that its so difficult to change, that a leopard cannot change its spots. And yet time and again I read these testimonials about the impact that Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine are having and am reminded that change is perfectly possible – and simple when it is a return to our natural way of being.
Thank you for sharing the amazing turnaround in your life Nicole and how your commitment to yourself has supported you to heal your hurts and build an ever deepening foundation of self care which then radiates out to all areas of your life. I can really relate to the feeling of overwhelm and exhaustion which coloured my whole life and how this has slowly changed as I have addressed basic self care needs and dropped my unrealistic expectations of myself with hugely beneficial effects for myself and all around me. For me the arrogance of thinking that I was the only one who could do x, y or z has been exposed and it is beautiful allowing true team to unfold.
Nicole your story is one that is shared by many, as you say “I found hairdressing a job that was run by the clock; a clock that made me feel like I never had enough time to get done what was needed, let alone time for myself to stop, eat or re-assess the day.” To me I find so many jobs and places can be run like this. I know I can setup my day to be in the same pattern and I come back wiped out. Yet I also know and have experienced the same as you that if I take time to be with me whilst working, be aware of my fingers typing or be focused in meetings that everything changes and time seems to not longer be a constraint.
I agree David, my experience can be of total overwhelm at or with work and similar days or work situations I just do ‘singing’. The seemingly small self-caring choices make all the difference.
To give ourselves permission to ask for help and to allow support in our lives and feel that this is totally acceptable and okay, is a great step forward on our way to living together as one humanity.
This is so true Judith, it’s a step towards letting love in and building the love for ourselves.
Yes, I agree, Judith, for this requires and allows us to see and appreciate each others qualities.
I used to think that asking for help was a weakness. I wanted to show I was capable of doing it all, but that drive took its toll on my body and my emotions. Being able to ask for help, or simply accept it when offered has made a big difference in my life and has enabled me to feel closer to others instead of being stoic and keeping myself separate.
Thank you for sharing your story Nicole and just highlights how we all have the power to make positive changes to our life improving our health and vitality. All your customers must notice the difference! The quality in how we live does make a huge difference to whether we have shallow contacts or true connections.
“At work I began to accept I didn’t have to know or do it all”, this is such a profound realization Nicole. If we allow this to really sink in, as you did, it takes so much pressure off and allows us to give ourselves space and be again, which has a tremendous effect on our body and vitality.
This comment also stood out for me Judith, and I have experienced a similar improvement in my well-being because I am no longer putting myself under this self-imposed pressure.
Thank you Nicole for sharing your experience of work and your home life, much of which I can relate to, especially suffering from joint pain and feeling like life was passing me by. Having taken the steps to make more self loving choices has indeed changed my life beyond recognition but at the same time I know there is more to refine, and more self loving needed to get my home life and my work life to the same level of quality.
Julie, I don’t think the process ever stops – it’s a constant developing and refining:)
Yes, it is so great to know we have the power to change our lives and can continue to deepen this on a daily basis.
It’s beautiful to read about the change in your life Nicole. So many people are looking to make real changes in their lives and hearing your story will be an inspiration to many.
Things considered being impossible might be possible after all. Without kidding oneself and expecting miracles to happen out of thin air, often we don´t know what actually is possible because what is considered the norm is not necessarily the way things are and work; maybe nobody has tried yet and we are the first to choose a different way that shows to be a way for everyone.
Its great to see the idea of what is ‘normal’ breaking down – that word can be a cage that binds us in a particular way of living for aeons whereas we are always free to choose, and return to who we naturally are.
I agree Rachel, the way that Nicole describes her experience is very relatable and something that anyone could apply to their own lives if they chose to.
Especially when it really is so very simple.
I loved your honesty Nicole and the questioning of the quality of how you were in your life – at home and at work – it has helped me to ponder the same of my own life. There is so much more understanding now of the ‘shifting sands’ that happen in life and I realise that it is about my own foundations and that if they are solid, everything is solid. especially the connection to who I truly am. Thank you for your comment – ‘the stillness that I reconnected to by healing my hurts and letting go of the expectations I had of how I should live my life’. This has opened the way for truly loving and healing what I have held onto from the past in order to defend my choices and supported me to choose the energetic responsibility I need to, if I am to live the tender, precious and loving woman I am. Thanks for sharing.
Yes I agree Gill, this is so gorgeously felt in what Nicole shares. I am really beginning to see how when we live with this consistency in who we are, we actually bring us to all that we do and therefore life has more joy as we are never missing out, as we are always with ourselves.
Yes, Jade, consistency is really key to living who we are, staying connected to ourselves in all that we do and say, it builds a steadiness within us that feels so beautiful and really very joy-full. I am still very much working on this, but I can feel the difference within, so very worthwhile.
This is gorgeous to read Nicole, I can relate to much of it, I used to rush around in my job, often feeling overwhelmed, I was hard on my body and my self care was at the bottom of the list. This has changed now and instead I take deep care of myself, I don’t rush as this feels awful in my body and stops any true connection with the people I’m working with, work is much more fun and playful now and I get more done in less time and the results are much better.
This is a great point that you have highlighted Rebecca. As when we choose to build a loving connection with ourselves we then become more and more aware when our bodies are being stressed through the way we are living, be it at home or at work. A great indication that we need to stop and reflect on the choices that we are making.
Gorgeous article Nicole. I too am seeing how much expectation sets us up in so many ways and that letting go of expectation allows us and others to be who they are. I feel the more we focus on building a loving foundation for ourselves the more life naturally flows and supports us.
Great comment Jade. Placing expectations on ourselves and on others is not very loving. It creates stress, disharmony and nothing really gets achieved or completed with quality or efficiency. When we trust and allow ourselves or others to get things done without expectations I have found a natural flow occurs.
I agree Chan and Jade. My experience has been that my expectations have caused me great stress. I almost set myself up to fail when I have a set picture of how I think things should turn out. They never do. Being open to what life may bring and having an inner steadiness is now what really works for me. Building a loving foundation through simple self-caring choices is what has brought this steadiness.
I have been letting go of expectations I have of others getting what I think they should be getting, in the time I think they should be getting it. Reading what I have just written I see how controlling and judgmental this way of thinking about others is.
Yes, it feels incredibly tight and constrained, this net of expectations that we hold others and ourselves to ransom with.
Beautifully said Jade and so true. It is through ‘building a loving foundation for ourselves’ that we can be our natural selves where love is the quality that is present in all that we do. It is the consistency of the quality of love we allow to pass through us that gives us the loving flow that feels so natural, as this is our true way.
Your experience clearly stated is absolutely incredible, to go from being seriously ill and being told it may only get worse and be chronic to living symptom free is an awesome testament to your commitment and Serge Benhayon and the Esoteric Modalities.
Yes Samantha Nicole’s commitment to herself is certainly something to be deeply appreciated and deserves to be widely shared to allow others to feel the messages that our bodies are giving us when we develop debilitating conditions and the possibilities for change that are presented if responsibility is chosen.
A great sharing, Nicole, that I can very much relate to. Our approach to life certainly dictates the quality with which we go through the day and how we treat our bodies. I would agree that bringing love and self care into the equation changes everything.
I agree, re-connecting to our bodies, listening to what they are telling us, acting on what we hear and bringing love into the equation are great ingredients for healing.
Love this line Janet…’…bringing love and self care into the equation changes everything’… indeed it does.
Thank you for the inspiration.
It is strange to feel how we choose not to bring love and self-care into the equation when it is so natural for us to do so. It shows how far we have walked away from ourselves in taking responsibility for our heath and well-being.
This article has a beautiful simplicity and humbleness to it, a real pleasure to share in and so much to consider. We often consider work and home to separate entities and yet we take us around in both, in fact any separation in life of anything we do is an illusion. Life changed deeply for me when I began to realise that how I was in any situation is one and the same and if I am grumpy at home they are going to get that at work even I have a smile over my face. This is where my awareness of my responsibility in life began to really come to the fore and it has changed all areas of my life.
I agree Samantha, when I began seeing my life as one, things began to change. I realised I cannot be one way at home without it affecting how I am at work; even if you try and fake it, the energy of how you have chosen to live is with you. To be in a consistent way throughout all areas of my life is another level of responsibility that has brought me much joy.
True joy comes from loving yourself in all what you do and not from loving what you do.
True Joy comes from being in your body, and not in your head.
The beauty is, if I love me, I can do anything what is needed – and love it. I bring the love in.
Wise words Rachel Andras. How can you love what you do when you simply are not present? Joy is only possible whenever love is present.
There are some gorgeous, and very simple statements here – and you can feel the joy that is being lived behind those statements
Hairdressing is an interesting topic. It is all about the client liking how you work, you being liked by the client during the appointment, and the client liking themselves better after seeing you. It is very easy to get lost into getting the ‘Like key’ as many times as possible. And of course, you have to look radiant. But the hairdressing glamour conceals a lot of ill being that could turn the hairdresser against its own body in blame. The body always responds in kind. It cannot do otherwise.
You are a true inspiration Nicole. Your experience is a testament to the fact that it is in the small details that support the quality of how we are in life. Sometimes we give focus to all the big things as being the issue, yet sometimes it is actually in the details of every little interaction that support us the most in life.
What counts is being ourselves in every moment, that quality then carries us through the day and every event, pleasant or difficult. Being-me is the constant factor in a life we don´t control but can live as who we are.
Absolutely Alex. There is a foundation that most of us build our entire lives upon that is based on control and security, yet it is this very foundation that creates the complexities, difficulties and issues we experience through life. The only way is to surrender and let go of control and protection
Knowing what we can surrender to is a crucial factor because when we intend or start letting go of control and protection there is an insecurity to how this shall work. Thus we need to know that deeper sense of self we can always rely on as it is who we are before and beyond any hurts or troubles.
So true and as I am learning this aspect of us that we can surrender to is actually already known because it is so naturally held within us all
It’s such a great feeling getting older but actually feeling younger and having less stress and actually being able to get more done in a day simply down to being more present in what we do. I still know I have a long way to go in refining this, so I know that it is only going to get even better as time goes by.
Bang on kevmchardy – there is so much to look forward to – where we live life and life no longer lives us.
Agree Lucinda and Kevin, well said. Life is no longer living us if we choose to and all the force we used to put into life to make things happen is exposed of how unnecessary it actually is if we choose to live in line with the Universal Order.
Hear hear Kevmchardy to getting older and feeling younger and having less stress, all thanks to, The Way of the Livingness by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, which there is no end to my appreciation.
It is the opposite to what we are taught to believe – that it all goes downhill as we get older.
Through Universal Medicine I have found the opposite to be true. With each day and year comes a greater joy, vitality and beauty that is without limit.
I absolutely agree Kevin! The older I get now (since being inspired by Universal Medicine to look after myself) the younger I am feeling. I actually feel younger now than I did in my late teens and 20s. Yay for that!
Love what you say kevmchardy – makes me wonder at the thought of all the potions, creams, drugs, procedures, elixirs and programs that people throw themselves in to, to try to get exactly what you are talking about. All we need to do is heed and act on Nicole’s wise words.
Your right Otto, do we chose the blue pill or the red one? Continue to live in the dream or wake up.
Agree Otto no potion, cream, drugs, procedures, etc. can ever deliver the true Universal Wisdom we all can access when choosing love as our foundation. It is so simple.
You nailed it, that´s how it is, in complete contrast to everything that we learned to believe and see aging to be.
Appreciating my self brings a joy because I have connected with who I am, not what I do! This is the powerful difference that I bring to my work kevmchardy. Feeling younger and less stressed comes from my relationship I am developing with myself. The stress comes from reacting to outside demands and feeling enslaved to them. A delightful awakening!
I am totally with you on this one kevmchardy. As I am gracefully embracing getting older, so too am I taking care of myself and my body better than ever before. As a result I don’t feel as much stress and have bags more energy and have so much more fun enjoying the simple things in life.
Haha – love this approach to life Kevin. The secret of eternal life revealed!
And very much the secret of a joyful life revealed.
When we choose to be determined by the outer trying to conform to the endless requirements of a so called busy life we are choosing to live in a way that leads to exhaustion, stress, general lack of wellbeing and often illness and disease as we live against our natural flow and rhythm. It is like a fish suddenly spending its day trying to climb a tree and a monkey going fishing. We as humanity have to understand and accept that we are divine beings first and then human and that there is a Universal Order which holds us when we align to it. Choosing to live against this Universal Order is a constant swimming against the stream and the force we have to use to swim against the stream is exhausting and draining us.
Beautifully said Rachel! We do need to accept at some point that there is a divine order holding us and that we can align to it as we are divine beings ourselves. This most certainly will be realized by all in the future, however anybody can start and live this now if they choose so.
Well said Rachel! What you wrote proves that we do not descend from monkeys. We descend from salmons 😎
Haha, very funny Eduardo, here comes the salmon theory.
Very true rachelandras, if we do accept the fact we are a part of a Universal order and live in rhythm and respect of that order our overall health would change remarkably. It is living against this rhythm that is causing much of our current exhaustion, illness and disease. What is inspiring is when we are willing to investigate and understand what drives us, we can start to make different choices and change what is not supporting us as Nicole’s blog beautifully confirms.
Well said Rachel…it is this constant resistance to our natural innate awareness and way of living, of swimming in the opposite direction to the Universal Order, that is creating an epidemic of exhaustion in society … however … there are very few who are seeing this as stimulants such as coffee, sugar and alcohol override the exhaustion our bodies are showing us. We choose to ignore/deny our bodies messages, and hence the rise in illness and disease continues despite increased medical understanding and treatments than ever before.
I can as others here, relate to what can only be described as our past life without having to reincarnate to experience it this lifetime. How we have lived before Universal Medicine and how we live now are truly different lives.
Yes Steve Matson, truly different.There is no going back.
Here, here Steve, I second that. We are walking the future where many will follow.
At last, time travelling is possible, who would have thought that it was that easy? Simply living our lives with absolute responsibility for the all.
Just reading this today brings about a clarity of how we so allow ourselves to get lost in the ‘doing’ and ‘trying’ in and of life. This behaviour certainly got me into all sorts of exhaustive states, many of which you mention Nicole. What I love most is the fact that when we connect back to ourselves really listen, take note and actually choose to do something about those well trodden pathways of behaviour (after many reminders from our bodies that all is ‘not’ well) we can choose to connect to something very precious – US. Not only deepening our qualities of self-care and connecting back to a stillness within but also this extends out to having a much deeper connection/relationship with all those around us. Thank you Nicole another inspirational sharing with us all.
We have developed a whole array of ways to exhaust ourselves. All we have to do is to go against our nature and our innate qualities. We can do this on any circumstance.
Eduardo you are so right when you say ‘We have developed a whole array of ways to exhaust ourselves. All we have to do is to go against our nature and our innate qualities. We can do this on any circumstance’. It feels to me that we have made things almost as difficult as possible for ourselves and indeed continue to do so on a worldwide scale. I say ‘almost as difficult as possible’ because there is room for more misery. It feels that things are set to get quite a bit worse, which I feel they will have to do before we wise up to the fact that we are doing this to ourselves.
So true Eduardo and Alexis. The myriad of ways we can set ourselves up for continuing exhaustion and further misery in our lives is a huge momentum gathering a greater force in itself until we finally ‘get it’ and understand we are causing this ourselves. Thank God for Serge Benhayon’s presentations that reflect and confirm continuously that there is another way to live and be and we can bring a true responsibility back to ourselves.
Thank you Nicole for sharing this huge change in your wellbeing and health through making choices to be more aware of the lifestyle and quality you were living in throughout your day. Even when we have set ourselves up with various forms of illness through our lack of true care, our bodies are so amazing in the way they can respond and be harmonious again. Serge Benhayon’s presentations have inspired me to make many different choices, which have brought amazing changes with my own body.
Nicole, the gentle way you are living now with no exhaustion, overwhelm or pain will be felt by every client who visits your hairdressing business. As you meet each person and are not fretting about everything else that you have to do and the next and the next client they will have a moment to stop and be with themselves also. A great gift. The presentations of The Way of the Livingness by Serge Benhayon are an everlasting beautiful gift to us all.
Yes, living with a level of responsibility is serving not only ourselves but all others as well.
Yes, that is truly inspirational and I feel how important this consistency is for a true change in our lives. There are days at work I put the demands of clients before me and it leaves me exhausted at the end of the day when other days I feel so awesome in my skin, I bring all of me without compromising and feel energised at the end of my working day. This is what I read in Nicole’s blog that where ever she is the quality she is in stays the same.
Oh I can so relate Annelies, in terms of putting the demands of clients before me – it leaves me exhausted and overwhelmed every time so I am learning to bring the same care for myself that I have at home, to work. It makes a huge difference.
Yes and that is the most beautiful way to live. In the past I did consider work a place where I could not be myself. By bringing in presence and reflection as Nicole did so beautifully, it is possible to change this and bring a quality that is supporting us that is the same to our home and work.
I too, Annelies, have come to realise that I need to bring more consistency to my life in respect of always putting myself first. I have recently realised that I have had a pattern for most of my life, where I have put others before me, to the detriment of my health. I have always felt a responsibility to look after the needs of others, supporting them etc., and then find that I do not have the time to always have my walk, or do other little things that support my body. This feels like a very old pattern in my body when I feel into it, largely a result of my upbringing, where women were regarded as being the ones who had to put others before themselves. I can feel the big difference when I make this choice for myself, it does not take anything away from how I am with others, but actually I now feel is better for them as well as me, others get the benefit of a much more joy-full friend and colleague, and are then beginning to take more responsibility for themselves.
Yes I agree Annelies. This evenness in my day and vitality I do not yet feel consistently and so I am very inspired by Nicole’s blog and some wisdom that a friend shared today. With both I can see where I can make changes.
Exactly what I got out of Nicole’s blog, Annelies: “where ever she is the quality she is in stays the same.”
I can relate to what you have written here Annelies, especially with putting clients before me which I agree is exhausting and compartmentalising my work life from my home life – this for me is still a work in progress.
Ouch! I can relate to this Annelies. When I am consistent at putting my body’s requests first and foremost and true nurturing is there. The unfolding of my day is totally different if I choose everyone else first and the harmonious and beautiful rhythm and flow becomes rather like a torrent of water through a large rocky canyon instead and it is exhausting just keeping one’s ‘head above these turbulent waters’ 🙂
Yes Annelies, work is so different when you feel it and keep it simple. The thing about working in IT it is complex and some times takes a lot of work. I love what Nicole expressed about working together. I used to try and do everything because I did not trust anyone to do it properly or give the service that was required (and this is true much of the time). That was irresponsible on my behalf as it stopped me from doing what I was designed to do and also passing judgement on others. Trusting others work flows so beautifully and all the things that I like doing and that are needed to be done come my way. Work is so enjoyable I could do it 24/7.
Amongst lots of stuff, what I really enjoyed reading in this article this morning was the theme about compartmentalising work and home and how we separate out the two. Understanding that everything is linked and that everything affects everything else has meant that I do the side steps from one role to another less and less, building a consistent quality across the board, as it were.
I love how you write that you “enjoyed reading in this article”, which reminds me how I tend to compartmentalize my life into things that are chores and things I enjoy and it made me stop and wonder why I don’t enjoy it all equally so. What a waste of time and space not to!
Great question Judith. Why dont we enjoy everything we do?
Yes, yes Matilda. That is so true. Work, home, holidays, time on, time off, working, relaxing, family time, me time, chores, pleasures….and on and on…so many possible compartments. Yet the constant in all of these is me. So therefore that that is where the quality and consistency must be – first.
Point well taken Matilda. You do not leave the symptoms of fibromyalgia just by changing only the routine of how you work. It is a change in how you live and move 24/7. There is only one life.
Just love this blog Nicole, as the wisdom you share can be related to all the jobs that we do, in fact how we live life in every moment whether at work or home. We have taken on a way of living that we have considered to be normal but how can it be normal when it is making us sick? Your last sentence sums it all up for me: “I now have a foundation for me that enables me to be me, no matter where I am or what I am doing” and that foundation is built on the love that Serge Benahyon shows us by his lived example to be the true way of living.
Nicole’s wisdom is beautiful to witness Ingrid. I really appreciate that she has shared such a significant change in her life. We can read this as a ‘story’ of someone’s life however Nicole has chosen to deepen her responsibility and connection to the truth of who she is and this is monumental and a model for all women.
Thank you for your sharing Nicole, as not only hairdressers are suffering under workpressure. I have the feeling this is a wide spread illness. It is great how you were able to heal fibromyalgie – which is considered as difficult to heal – by making changes in your lifestyle and attitude towards yourself.
Great example of how we place our responsibility on the outside to avoid looking at how we create our lives in a certain way that suits us. Stress is a great source of energy if someone has chosen to swim against the stream, fighting the very light we are from.
Your blog proves that changing a job is not the answer to end the stress and physical discomfort at work. You say so beautifully – “Having developed a quality and foundation of self-care which is always deepening, I now have a foundation for me that enables me to be me, no matter where I am or what I am doing.”
Well said Fumiyo. Moving on does not require us to move somewhere else, but to move differently around whatever you are doing.
Great point Eduardo. Often we think that change means a new location, new home, new job, new partner etc, but real change comes from within and changing ‘how’ we do things.
So it is not so much about moving on and leaving things behind, but about changing our moves which then in return truly helps us to let go of what does not work/belong.
I can relate to the observation and spaciousness you have found within yourself and how you now approach your day from your stillness. It has been a gradual process of commitment, practicing presence, body awareness and lots of healing, surrendering what is not necessary and the pictures of how I thought my life should look…. to finally, I am feeling my capacity return. Yet this capacity is so much greater than it ever was before because now, I am present with what I am doing, I do not feel like I am racing against time (well more and more now) and I am just here doing what is needed. Wow, this feels quite amazing and I sense that it will continue to expand and become my living way the more commitment I make to listening to what my awareness tells me.
It is remarkable Nicole, that you no longer experience the symptoms of fibromyalgia and through increasing your body awareness and self care combined with a commitment to healing, you are now living a vibrant life and are able to work with joy and ease, both in your salon and at home, in every aspect of what is needed in your life.
You would have much to share with other hairdressers I am sure, tips to support them not to get so exhausted in their job, as well as women generally who could learn from you about how to bring yourself in full to all aspects of your life as a woman, wife, mother, hairdresser and friend.
Yes I bet there are hairdressing magazines that could benefit from your lived experience. This information could also be taken to hairdressing schools and colleges. I know the NHS has put more focus on Self Care in recent years why not bring it to the Hairdressing world?
Great idea Elaine. Nicole could share this with a wider audience for sure.
Very true Emma and imagine how many zillions our global bankrupt health systems could save if people stopped abusing themselves and started living loving and healthy lives.
Transforming our quality of life, health and the global health care systems is already a ginormous benefit of such a simple way of life but it does not stop there. To live in this way would change EVERYTHING and everyone. For example, it would massively improve productivity at work, reduce sickness days and lead to greater harmony. Again you have to wonder why we don’t live this way in the first place and why the value and importance of self-care, awareness and love is not one of the first things we learn at school!
This is the key Nicola and what we have to share with the world.
Wow what an amazing turnaround Nicole! Your openness and honesty supported you to see how you were living was destroying you and had to change. I can also remember thinking my hectic overwhelming and drama filled life could never change before I met Serge Benhayon… post is a completely different story! It’s like offering our body a stop moment and taking the time to listen.
I haven’t been a hairdresser, but boy oh boy could I relate to this blog! I worked self-employed from home for over 20 years and there was not much hiding from the fact that there were no lines between business and home for me – the same stress, pressure, tension, resentment and never ever being able to feel I’d done enough that I felt in work carried over into home life though I rarely admitted this at the time, and if I did, it was with justification that I was doing what I had to do and / or that I was doing this for others. At the time I was not aware of (or at least wanting to avoid) taking any responsibility for the way things were and / or that there was any common factor (ie ‘me’!). However when I ‘did’ start to get more honest and started to introduce self care and love for myself and to take responsibility for my choices and the quality I was doing things in – and deeply inspired by the teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine – everthing and every area of my life started to change. My life now is far from perfect but a long long way from the way it was, filled with more joy, more vitality, less stress and as a side benefit, being able to do more than ever before, and much more loving and supportive relationships!
This is incredible Angela, what you and Nicole are sharing can inspire so many, many people to change the way they are choosing to live and work, making it more about connection, quality, love and honesty.
Life is full of stressful situations. No doubt about this. Yet, we have to be honest:
there is an element of pleasure on stressing ourselves that can even get to addiction. And once we are onto this path we just love to drive us into something that feels like full motion but it is not since it leads us nowhere.
I agree Eduardo, stress can be like a drug we live from – keeping our energy levels going.
Interesting point Angela! “there were no lines between business and home for me – the same stress, pressure, tension, resentment and never ever being able to feel I’d done enough” The way we are at work can be carried into our homes, if we do not deal with the reactions and energy that was running the day. Most of us would say we want a home to be about love, and it be a steady foundation for developing our lives in all areas, but mostly people seek comfort in their homes and don’t deal with things in their life that are causing tension.
Makes absolute sense that the quality we’ve been working in all day is the quality we take back home and the quality we wake up in, is the quality we take to work. Life isn’t compartmentalised and separate. It’s all one. We are the constant in it but often not consistent across it. That’s where responsibility comes in and I love your simple formula for managing this – ‘ I observe myself doing what is needed, stopping when I feel like things are getting chaotic, feeling what is needed and then going forth from there.’
“I began feeling how I was before I started work and how I was when I finished; it was this quality that I took from home to work or from work to home, until being at work and being at home became the same quality” – yes, i also note this too Nicole … how i feel inside my body, my thoughts, the freshness or crispness and when this has dulled…. and it’s this awareness that brings huge understanding of the way we work, being the exact same as the way we live life, that there is no difference to work-life or home-life in regard to its quality, only when we make it so typically built on having expectations.
“How could I be one way at home and another way at work?” – what a great question to ask and sit with Nicole in light of public/private face that so many of us do like to wear or put on. Being two people when we are in fact one person, will undoubtedly tire and result in conflicting messages to make life a constant push-me, pull-you. Coming back to ourselves through self-observation is the way to join us up as a whole, to enjoy the whole, and not just the one or two isolated parts.
Living different roles and changing who we are depending on where we are and who we are with is a very exhausting way to live.
The care and support we offer ourselves allows our bodies to re-configure and settle into a more natural rhythm. This level of responsibility expands our lives in oh so many ways. Thank you Nicole for sharing.
As Serge Benhayon said, self-care is a great tool to oppose the forces that constantly make us being disregarding and abusive towards ourselves. Through self-care we learn to listen to our body and we start to make care our normal and not abuse and distraction.
Yes Rachel , and this is forever unfolding, deepening our self nurturing never stops.
Agreed Rachel, self-care is the stepping stone to connecting to the love we all are made of, once we start to live it there is no looking back.
It seems so obvious that if we don’t care for and love ourselves we can’t care for and love others because we don’t have that foundation or energy developed and lived within ourselves to offer others, and yet this simple truth of life is not our common way. Serge Benhayon has presented so many revelatory and life changing simple truths to us such that you have to wonder why is everyone not living like this when it so clearly makes sense and leads to an infinitely healthier, productive and more joyful life!
Yes Rachel, I am becoming more and more aware of all the abusive behaviours I have as I deepen my level of self care. I have noticed that I am still very harsh with myself when I apply moisturiser, something that can be deeply nurturing but sometimes I go into doing and notice just how rough I can be. The more we care the more the abuse stands out like a sore thumb and it becomes no longer acceptable.
Absolutely Kelly – responsibility is always dressed up as being responsible with money, with work, paying bills, when looking after others, the game changing work of Serge Benhayon is learning that our first and foremost responsibility is to care for and support ourselves.
100% Lucindag. I am only just beginning to see the truth of the word responsibility having absolutely thought of it as all that external stuff you mention.
And responsibility at this level sets the foundation of responsibility we bring to everything else.
I agree lucinda, we cleverly disguise this major responsibility yet it is the one that holds the foundation to all others in our life.
I agree Lucindag, and I am aware that we can put so many issues in our path to not stop and truly care for ourselves making life about all the issues that we actually do not have rather then enjoying deeply caring for ourselves.
I agree with you lucindag. My interpretation of what responsibility meant was very narrow before I listened to the presentations of Serge Benhayon. I now see how widely encompassing it is of all of our actions.
Spot on Lucinda, responsibility comes with a lot of heavyness instead of coming with a playful aproach to care and love oneself firstly.
Absolutely Kelly, self care, self love allows a rhythm to unfold which is pivotal to living in harmony with the body allowing its natural expression.
We have been ‘ led up the garden path’ with a misinterpretation of the word responsibility, Serge Benhayons revelation ‘ that we can’t love another until we first love ourselves ‘ it’s obvious when we start to live with this love. The other is a complete distraction, and distortion of truth.
Great call Lucinda. We have reduced responsibility to areas of life so that we can be not responsible as a general way of living. That way we can choose to be responsible where it suits us and it is even accepted as part of ones character to be messy with certain things, not that responsible, etc. We adjusted responsibility to our desire to be irresponsible, and off course with this responsibility has become a burden and something exhausting to do. But we just have to be responsible and this starts with ourselves.
Yes, this is so true Kelly. It certainly does and by choosing our natural rhythm we actually make life so much simpler and more loving.
Love this Nicole, thanks for sharing your story. It can feel like overwhelm is so massive and all consuming when you’re in it, that there’s no way out. It feels suffocating. But just to stop, and to keep bringing moments into your day where you stop and feel what is going on, and truly start to look after yourself, is so supportive in getting out of the overwhelm and back to that sense of stillness and solid foundation. Inspiring to read how you’ve turned things around through simple, practical choices that are based on truly loving and looking after yourself, and letting go of expectations of how you think your day or life should go.
The other part that really stood out for me and I took note of is how we can bring the same quality in the way we live at home to how we are at work and visa versa. I know I have been working on this because in the past, I can be honest enough to say that I probably put on a mask to fit this scenario, and and act to fit that scenario and then I was me at home… instead of bringing me, to everywhere I go.
I know how I have created two separate lives, one at home and one at work. Putting lots of expectations and pressure on myself of how I should act and behave in the outside world I wonder whether I was myself at home. I was exhausted and trying to deny this fact, I’ve put the same pressure on myself at home to meet my self-made standards and that was trying to be perfect where ever I was. Just like Nicole meeting Serge Benhayon and the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom were the beginning of becoming aware that other choices could be made to live in a more loving and vital way.
That is a good point to consider Annelies. In the past, I can say I was not myself in either environment, always trying to be this or that for someone else and wearing a different hat depending on who I was around probably because I did not appreciate and love who I naturally am.
Yes this so stood out to me too Rosie, really finding a way to live who you naturally are in every situation, not just saving yourself for home. It’s something I am working on within myself as I can feel how when we aren’t ourselves who are we really? It’s quite exhausting! Time to bring all of who we are to everything we do and as you share everywhere we go!
Yes I know this one too, never stop at work, and collapse at home, though often getting into the same never stopping at home once I got over the collapsing!!! To be working on bringing an equal quality to everything that I do wherever I am means that there is not the extremes of rush and collapse, there is an evenness and much more joy at both work and at home. Making more loving and supportive choices, having learnt that I always do have choices (and there is always a resulting consequence to every choice) through Universal Medicine has made a vast difference to how I live my life. Something I am truly thankful for.
Yes Jeanette, it has taken me a while to change my focus from being task driven (must get it all done regardless) to focusing on my body and how I can support it. Asking myself simple questions like ‘do I have to do this now?’ has made the world of difference. I am becoming my own loving friend, rather than my own slave driver.
Ah yes Jeanette that’s such a familiar pattern for me in the past, overriding exhaustion to keep going and collapsing into bed, to repeat it all again the next day. It was a pattern that kept me away from my natural qualities.
Hands up who does that?! Me!! And I’m sure many others. This is a really tricky one, to realise that we don’t need to keep changing our hats…we can just be the one person, hat free in every aspect of life. There is so much integrity in that and it’s far less exhausting. I ought to give it more of a go!
Yes me too Rosie – this point really hit the spot! I can see where I have been selling myself and others short by measuring or saving myself for certain people and situations. But really, I’m the one that misses out as the connection with me does not have an on or off switch, it’s just up to me to feel what is always there in all that I do.
Great point Rachael, I wouldn’t have understood how much I was missing out in the past but when I come to experience the difference to bringing my essence to all that I am and do it’s like being lost in the dark or walking in the light.
Saving yourself for certain people! Hmmm, I can relate to that and I am sure many can even if they don’t really want too…. funny things we reveal when we start to be aware of it all and have no shame in sharing it.
And what you describe here is apparently the ‘normal’ way – one face for work, another one for home; one for grumpy moments and another one for nice ones – a continual roller coaster that begs the question: will the real person please stand up?
Ah your comment made me laugh Gabriele, as I had to think of my grumpy face… and all the others that I saved for different occaisions….. as if it were not enough or okay just to be me, no matter how I felt in any given moment.
Nicole, it is lovely to read how you have turned your life around. I know many would just give up with the diagnosis of fibromyalgia and live or as you say, exist with that as a given. It just goes to show how with life style choices we can make major changes to our health and vitality. I too have had the opportunity to turn my life around thanks to Serge Benhayon and all the amazing info that he presents through Universal Medicine.
It is like waking up to the reality that we do not have to live as hapless victims of circumstance; that we can put our own hands back on our steering wheels, so to speak, sit up and make choices about the road ahead.
Love it Matllda – ” we do not have to live as hapless victims of circumstance;” so empowering and so true – and makes life and choices very simple indeed.
It’s choosing a lack of responsibility and comfort that drives us otherwise.
Agreed, once we take responsibility for our choices and reassess the way we live, anything and everything is possible – the sky is the limit.
Realising how much we have given up, allowing ‘life’ to rule us, is already part of the healing, because when we take a closer look we will find that we have much more possibilities and power than we have been willing to be aware of. But then there is this uncomfortable thing with awareness – it asks us to take responsibility.
Well said Matilda that is very true. What I have experienced through meeting Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine has been incredibly liberating, empowering and joyful – it has given me back my life.
Yes, absolutely. How disempowering and devastating to feel that a life of pain is what we are destined for. I love how Nicole has disassembled this belief and shown what is possible when we take greater responsibility for the quality of our choices.
Yes Matilda and I just remembered how I used to think things just happened to me, or I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time but that is purely because I didn’t want to take responsibility for the choices that got me there in the first place. These days I do like to take the wheel and choose my own road ahead.
Yes to that, Matilda: “we do not have to live as hapless victims of circumstance”. Nicole her blog is the living proof of the effect of making different choices.
Absolutely Matilda – we are either the driver of our body responsible for what we choose or we get driven by something else that will eventually have an impact on our health.
Love it Matilda, “we do not have to live as hapless victims of circumstance” and if we do we have to be so honest and admit that it has been our choice. Circumstances is nothing more than energy, if we do not choose to align to the divine fiery energy we are all from then the also divine, but deviated pranic energy will take care of us. All we have to do is choose and take responsibility for our choices.
So true Rosie. Big appreciation for Nicole’s commitment to looking deeper into what was actually going on, rather than giving up and surrendering to the diagnosis. “How did I get here?” – asking that question is the responsible choice.
How did I get here? It is a good question to ask ourselves regularly… like a pit stop… a moment to just see where we are at and what choices did we make to reach this very point… Can be very revealing.
That’s very true Rosie. Nicole’s commitment to herself is proof that anything is possible, and all without any extreme measures,,,,just a simple return to herself.
No complication needed, just so simple yet we often or at least I know I do… I question could it really work if it is that simple?
Yes, a very needed realisation, we have so much more power when it comes to our body and life than we think and it lies in the everyday choices that we make. Simple and very effective.
The difference in my daily life today from 7 or 8 years ago is almost unrecognisable. I am not subject to what the world throws at me any more, I have a choice and it is how I deal with what is presented that makes the difference.
That is so worth celebrating Fiona, we all have a choice even if we aren’t aware of that.
lt is awesome to have the realisation that the quality we bring to our day effects everyone within it. To step off the rat wheel, break the momentum of the ‘rat race and drive ‘and come from stillness, is a massive gift to develop within and bring to others.
Agree, only when we accept that we live in a world of energy and that everything is because of energy will we fully understand the true meaning of quality. True quality is determined by the energy we choose to align to and we all have missed out during our upbringing to learn the basic fact, that there are only two energies: prana and fire. And that fire is a pull back to our divine origins and a natural flow we just have to surrender to and prana are the forces that constantly make us be abusive, working against our natural pull. Prana is a force, fire is a surrender, so what is actually exhausting us? The job or the energy?
Well delivered Rachel!
What we fight against (our natural being) does exhaust us – not life or work.
Back to basics Rachel! Everything comes back to this truth you have so simply expressed. Unless we get to the ‘root cause’ of our dis-ease, dilemmas and distractions in life – the energy we choose – then nothing will truly change. We just move from place to place ‘hoping’ for a more comfortable position!
Great call Rachel…’what is actually exhausting us?’ When we have the awareness of prana and fire as you have explained – “prana is a force, fire is a surrender” then it is a no brainer as to how we become exhausted!
Great question Rachel, what is making us tired, and do we really hate working as so many claim to or is it how we are approaching it. I know many who say they would gladly not work again but careful what we wish for as work gives our life purpose. The amount of purpose it gives us though is definitely related to how much we are willing to see the service in working and that prana or fire is our choice of energy in all work we do.
Thank you Rachel, ultimately this is the only question to ask ourselves. The whole of our society promotes drive, force, fight. We are never encouraged to feel, surrender, discern energy, live tenderly. What a revelation Universal Medicine delivers, enabling us to make a fundamental choice of energy that underpins all we do and hence simply transform our exhaustion into a fiery vital and joyful expression of life.
Great comments Rachel and Sandra,
The energy behind the choices we make is definitely the thing to look at, to understand and to adjust if needed how we are living on our bodies. Because, let’s face it, our body is with us for the entirety of this life. Is this not enough reason to consider it deeply and deliver the care it needs.
We often blame the stress and exhaustion we experience on the overload of work or life as such and we feel it is not in our power to change as we see it as something from the outside that is forced onto us that does not give us a choice. But this is not true. We can make many little choices during the day that truly support us and give us a firmer ground to stand on in life that then brings more clarity and wiser choices to the whole.
So true rachelandras, a basic principle for everyone to know how life works.
“To step off the rat wheel, break the momentum of the ‘rat race and drive ‘and come from stillness, is a massive gift to develop within and bring to others.” I love the way you expressed that, Irena, it really explains it so well. How important it is to break that momentum, and learn to live from stillness. Very much a work in progress for me, but I am seeing light at the end now, so worthwhile.
This is such an important aspect Irena. The quality that we hold effects everyone around us, everyone we come into contact with whether at work or at home. We have a huge responsibility with the way we care for and look after ourselves which is reflected in the quality of our presence.
That’s an amazing change Nicole, thank you for sharing how you did it!
Nicole may wish to give speeches at hairdresser conventions and share her experiences.
Yes and it is relevant to so many industries where we are demanded to be on our feet. I was recently talking to a lady at my local supermarket who stands all day and was describing the aches and pains she feels in her body.
Thanks Nicole for sharing this. So many hairdressers have aches and pains and back problems, it is VERY common, but what you are offering here is that there is much more behind the aches and pains than just the fact that hairdressers stand for long periods.
True Shevon. Anything that is not loving of ourselves is simply not normal – simple.
When we accept a lesser normal than what we deserve, we instantly have illness and disease presenting itself.
And what Nicole shares brings a deeper awareness to what is going on for hairdressers and any job for that matter.
Hi Shevonsimon reading this I also realise how we as patrons have a responsibility to be with our hairdressers. Sometimes we demand them to do things to our hair that are not really natural for us, and can speak to them in a way where we are dumping our issues on them.
Well said Shevon,
What Nicole shares enables us to consider how we are being and living in our bodies, and how our bodies are affected by the choices we make. Could it be about changing our way of doing things that allows our bodies to heal?
Yes shevonsimon and this changes the way we ‘accept’ certain conditions because of the work we do.
True Shevon, hairdressers have a strict environment to work in. The conditions are not truly supportive to deeply take care of yourself. I liked how Nicole has made changes to her rhythm and lifestyle to accomodate the work environment. When we listen to the body and support it before the day the body will work with you back and tell you how to work. I cannot express enough how amazing the body is when you connect and work with it.
Yes, Shevon and that there is something that can be done about the aches and pains that actually works.
Thank you Nicole, I can certainly relate to what you have shared as being part of my past life that I’ve left behind and now have a quality in my life that exudes vitality and a way of living that supports me and everyone I meet.
Yes, life becomes very different, as Nicole has described, when work and life become one, when there is no distinction. Life is then very joyful.
Yes Christoph, when we stop trying to make a distinction between work and life, we stop living in a compartmentalised fashion and life (and joy) begins to flow.
I’m starting to feel this too Christoph and there seems to be a steady pace from one space to another.
Yes I agree Christoph and Nicole, I live my life as one 24/7 without this distinction of work, holiday, family or whatever – it is all simply me being me doing whatever is needed or resting if that is what is needed. It is a very purposeful and joyful way to live.
So true Christoph. We can build a beautiful quality of living in both our home and work lives with each area supporting the other. We live a whole life, it is not compartmentalised. We are the same person no matter where we are, some people just choose to try and hide behind a mask in some aspects of their life.
Yes, this is my experience as well Christoph.
And it’s super steady. No ups and downs. Awesome.
This completely blows apart that drive to have work and life separate and the idea that work is a lead weight that we have to suffer and we can only have fun outside of work. Life is far more enjoyable when we accept that work is a part of life and not something that is a means to an end (paying the bills etc).
Hello Christoph is it “work and life become one” or is it ‘you becoming one’. It would seem one is something you do and the other is more who you are. If we come back or bring life back to a quality of how you live then you become one with everything there after. In other words it’s not about bringing two worlds together so it’s better but about bringing yourself together so you don’t have so many hats. This brings a quality you live for yourself into everything and then there is no distinction between work and life because it’s just the same you in a different setting. The joy comes from the quality you are.
Yes, when what you do and who you are becomes one, life is very different.
Thanks Christoph and I agree, no ups or downs, in or outs, just a consistency of who you are in every way. The more dedication there is to listening to what you feel and having that as your guide means you don’t actually need to ‘do’ anything. It’s just a consistent extension of what you feel. So work isn’t work and home isn’t home, they are one and the same and just another point to express what you feel.
The other day a friend said to me, thank goodness it’s Friday but it felt strange as I didn’t have the same sense of relief that I would have felt in the past. I was not bothered and had barely noticed that it was Friday as the distinction between the week and the weekend has gone for me and as you say Christoph life has indeed become very joyful.
I agree Fiona, it is a nice feeling to notice that Monday has lost its bad feeling and Friday its good feeling – the Friday feeling may really just be relief.
I am with you on this Susan, Nicole has express my old life and also my new one and I have too changed the whole way I work and am at home, looking back it is unrecognisable and I feel like a totally different person now, what an inspiration.
Susan I love that no matter what the choices we have made in the past, we can start making different choices from today. It is so inspiring to see people becoming healthier and more vital as they age. I feel better in my thirties than I did in my twenties. This is reversing the mainstream trends.
Love this Lee – “no matter what the choices we have made in the past, we can start making different choices from today” no need to beat yourself up about it, just make different choices.
I agree Mary “I am finding the more self care choices I make the more my body supports me to make those choices”. It is such a contrast when you choose abuse you more likely to choose it again. It is the best medicine to choose a loving relationship with yourself.