I was told to take responsibility for many things from quite a young age with no real conversation as to why this was important. I was told to clean my room, wash the dishes, do my other jobs, do my homework in the designated time, not to over-eat, eat a balanced diet… the list of expectations my parents had of me was endless.
I would rebel and take as little responsibility as I could. One of my behaviours was to sit on the toilet each night after dinner until the dishes had been done. Not sure how I got away with that for so long. I often wondered why I was such an obnoxious brat growing up.
I observed my mother overeating and eating all the wrong foods. My father did not do a thing around the house and if dinner was not ready when he got home from work he got very cranky. He left all the cooking and cleaning etc. up to my mother and us kids, who had to be screamed at to get anything done, and when that did not work the wooden spoon came out.
They smoked copious amounts of cigarettes inside the house and drank every evening. My mother started with a sherry or vermouth at 4.00pm joined by my father when he returned from work, then wine with dinner. They would chain smoke when our family piled into the Holden, four sometimes five of us in the back seat. They wondered why we would be punching each other in the back of the car and, intermittently, one of them would turn around and scream at us to take responsibility for our behaviour.
We often did not listen to them as there was no ‘role-modelling’ of what taking responsibility really looked like. Of course there was the obvious – my father ran his own business and he was very good at this; my mother was on every committee she could sign up to in the local community, and she led many of them and she was very good at this. Even as a kid I knew that this was not true responsibility. My mother loved her committees because it gave her a sense of worth and an excuse to get out of the house and my father used work to escape from our fairly dismal home life.
In my teenage years my irresponsible behaviour escalated into a whole other level – dropping out of school, taking copious amounts of drugs and alcohol, not working, living off the dole and not caring about the effect my behavior was having on any of my family and friends.
I lived this way on and off for the next 30 years until I met Serge Benhayon and heard him present on energetic responsibility, and coming from a man who was actually living what he presented, this had a huge impact on me. It was extremely healing even though very confronting at forty-five, to have to see the effect my irresponsible way of living had on myself, my health, my mental state, my children and all my family and friends. I also healed any resentment and anger I had towards my parents, as I was able to look back and understand that they were doing the best they could at the time given they were also a product of their parents, thus unable to role–model true responsibility.
Nearly fifteen years later, the way I live has changed beyond recognition from my earlier life, and my relationship with responsibility has changed immensely from one of thinking it was a ‘burden’ to one of seeing that the more true responsibility I take, the more fulfilling my life becomes.
I am constantly looking at ways to deepen this responsibility, and interestingly, whenever the next level is offered I find myself at first resistant. But I am so onto this pattern, which is to think it is “too hard” and that “I cannot do it,” that the awareness I have developed around it means I do not give in to it. Even though at times I am not sure what exactly is being asked of me, I’m prepared to give it a go whether that be a shift in the quality in which I approach life, or specifically with a job or project that asks for greater responsibility.
The embracing of what true responsibility is brings great joy into my life and I can deeply appreciate that I am now able to be a role model to others with an understanding that I did not have growing up.
By Mary-Louise Myers, Complementary Healing Practitioner, Goonellabah, NSW, Australia
Related Reading:
The Importance of Self-Responsibility
True Responsibility
Responsibility in the Workplace
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
What a gorgeous turn around of your life, ’embracing of what true responsibility is brings great joy into my life and I can deeply appreciate that I am now able to be a role model to others’.
As I read this blog, I realised we think we are the only people on this planet that have similar upbringings as yourself. It is not a criticism but the fact that every household would have something similar going on, a sad state of affairs playing out for many.
When someone actually shares their experiences, the enormity of this problem is rife and sad that many have grown up or growing up in this same manner even to this day. Until one day someone like Serge Benhayon reflects that there is another way, and how we are in the situations we are placed under, is key. It’s just like putting a pair of spectacles and then clarity appears.
What I loved is that I can place this scenario in any situation, in particularly my current work environment and observe what is playing out. So this blog was a reminder that I need to settle and take further responsibility of my behaviour, anything else is just not acceptable – it is that simple.
As parents and grandparents of all young people around us we have a responsibility to be role models of living with love and truth.
As we return to our essence so much of what we use to called normal has shifted and understanding how we all got into these type of scenarios and the way the goal post are continually being shifted is part of our divine learning as students on our return to our inner-most-essence.
Mary Louise in her blog mentioned that though she was told to take responsibility in life as she was growing up, she did not feel inspired to do so till she met someone who was living this responsibility themselves. How powerful is the reflection of someone who lives and breathes true responsibility and shows how easy and fulfilling it actually is.
Henrietta, ditto to what you have shared. I also felt the impositions placed upon Mary Louise too. It’s like lecturing to someone to not smoke whilst you puffed away on a cigarette, no difference.
It is rare for any of us to grow up with true role models and even then as no one is perfect, growing up requires several role models – as they say raising a child takes a community. But once grown up if we learn and see a different way to be and live, it is simply for us to make the choice and live the changes – no one else is responsible for this.
Mary-Louise what an amazing turn around of learning to take responsibility and truly so in life. Your example is one that shows that it is never too late, and no matter what we may have experienced we can at any point begin to make different choices in life.
Embracing responsibility, ‘my relationship with responsibility has changed immensely from one of thinking it was a ‘burden’ to one of seeing that the more true responsibility I take, the more fulfilling my life becomes.’
The roles we have as parents is huge, especially when it comes to reflecting to our children what it means to live responsibly. Children tend to look up to their parents, almost worship them at times, and any parental behaviours are the first clue as to how the children will go on to live their lives. If they see a parent or care giver slam a door, they won’t think twice about slamming one – but how can you tell them off if that’s what you do? Learning to take responsibility for our behaviours is one the most vital lessons in our early lives, but looking around at the state of society and out into the world, it is easy to see that this lesson is definitely lacking.
We cannot teach true responsibility without living it ourselves.
How can we possibly expect anyone to do what we say if we are not doing it ourselves?
It reminds me of the saying “Do as I say and not as I do” – this teaches people simply to live a lie. Whereas when you role model to someone through your lived choices, there is no game being played, but simply a life being lived.
And when we choose love we are an example of inspiration to each other. We can always learn.
As a kid, how are we going to know responsibility if we do not have a lived example of it to reflect back to us?
What a great blog to re-read at this time. What really stood out today was how irresponsibly we can be and yet when a powerful reflection comes along we then have the choice to take notice and change or reject the reflection and carry on in our own way.
Yes, we need a reflection of what responsibility is, and maybe this will then inspire us to be responsible.
Taking true responsibility is very powerful and allows us to be very powerful
I remember how it felt to support my mother. She prepared meals we cleared the table. washed, dried and put away the dishes, boys and girls equally-great team work.
My parents gave my siblings and I clear responsibilities in the running of the home, which laid a great foundation in later life. What was missing was making the connection between completing practical tasks in the home to the bigger picture and ultimate responsibility we have to not just work for ourselves but other people also.
Teaching children about responsibility by modelling responsible behaviour is the only way and will support them through every stage in life.
And it is true this modeling that they know what they can and can not do.
And what a simple way to teach another by not teaching but simply by living.
It is a lovely way to ‘teach’ another, simply by living what is true.
I love your ‘give it a go’ approach here to life. We all hit those points in our life where we are being asked to grow or change something, sometimes not knowing what the final outcome will be, and being open to that change is so important.
I love your honesty, Mary-Louise: ‘I am constantly looking at ways to deepen this responsibility, and interestingly, whenever the next level is offered I find myself at first resistant.’
I bet many of us can relate to this, how we love to cruise, create a certain level of comfort and plato instead of saying daily: what is the next step, where can I deepen? Commitment to life asks that of us to be wiling to continuously say yes to more expansion and awareness and challenge life.
Taking responsibility is an absolute pleasure and makes life simpler too, yet it is what most of us run from. Human beings are so bizarre in their choices of behaviour sometimes as the only person we seem to be making life harder for with this abdication of responsibility is ourselves!
My own feeling about it is that it leaves me feeling full – can’t put it any differently, other than that sense of having delivered what was there to be delivered in that moment.
Ha how beautiful this is – deepening your relationship with true responsibility and the effect on the world around you .. Is beautiful !
True responsibility is to live who we are every moment of the day, do this and we will find that we will become responsible in all areas of life.
I recently saw a picture of you and your face was glowing, your eyes were shining as never before, such a joy in your whole being. A true testimonial for living with energetic responsibilty, which brings evolution and is powerful beyond words.
Connecting to purpose brings the joy of true responsibility.
Yes, there is a lot of simplicity and, in the expression, joy in responsibility.
The contrast in the way some of us were raised with the total absence of responsibility as a role model to the paradigm shift that now many of us are actually living with now, by choice… where we choose to be as responsible as we can for everything, is extraordinary.
This is such a wise insight into the fact that responsibility, once accepted, is always offering us the opportunity to go even further. “I am constantly looking at ways to deepen this responsibility, and interestingly, whenever the next level is offered I find myself at first resistant.”. And when I feel that resistance I know that this really needs to be carefully considered and not simply ignored.
I really love the open, honesty of your article. And in this, we are given the chance to see how miserable life can be, how loveless and harsh, and yet, there is no need to stay there, we can change, grow and introduce truly loving ways back again, ways that can have an affect on everyone and not just ourselves.
Yes Shami, nothing is set in stone, unless we choose to let it be. Mary-Louise shows us that despite childhood experiences or wayward choices as adults, it’s possible to turn around our lives, become loving, responsible human beings inspiring others.
I am fascinated by the sheer volume of people that have changed their life’s in a positive way since meeting Serge Benhayon, so there has to be something in what he presents that resonates with humanity for so many people from all walks of life to want to make the changes to how they live out in their community.
I know, there has to be something in it and thankfully we live in a world where the only person stopping us living it is ourselves. There will be people who are irritated by your decisions but they will at least be your decisions so you are the only person who needs to be at ease with them.
For me, there is definitely something very wonderful in what Serge Benhayon presents that is changing the face of some people’s lives; it has mine. And on the very long list of the wisdom he shares, is the subject of responsibility, particularly the responsibility as to how we live in this world, as everything we do and say has an effect on everything else; now that to me, is the ultimate responsibility.
Responsibility includes our every movement, our every thought, we affect people more than most of us choose to be aware of, ‘ the responsibility as to how we live in this world, as everything we do and say has an effect on everything else’.
The thing is we can’t pick and choose when to be a ‘role model’. Realising we are always reflecting something – good or bad, to everyone around us is a part of being responsible, I guess.
Responsibility is something that we are very capable of as children, yet we are seldom given true responsibility when we are very young, and later when we do get given responsibility we end up feeling that it is a chore. Children should be encouraged to take responsibility early on as it is a natural way of being for them, but not pushed into doing something, allowing them to step in and help with what they feel is true for them.
I like your emphasis on ‘true responsibility’. Children, from early years can be shown how to be responsible for themselves, the next level is to support them to understand that what they do can either heal or harm others.
These changes Mary-Louise are astounding, and super super inspiring – to go from your previous way of living to who you are and the way you are living now is miraculous and a true testament to the miracle that can happen when we start to choose self love and self responsibility.
Role models, whether positive or negative, have a profound effect on children as they observe those around them.
Rebellion is simply a sudden explosion of emotions within a body, a being that says yes to it and the choice to move in sync with it afterwards. It brings nothing of value into our world. Pure poison.
You perfectly describe how useless it is to advise others in what to do without living it yourself. Yet the power of expression when what is said is actually lived is life changing. Serge Benhayon offers everyone who meets him this opportunity. Whether we take it is up to us, but inside all of us we know the truth and Serge and his words often re-awaken this.
The the power of expression is important but the thing that has the most impact is the reflection we offer through that expression because sometimes how we express is in contrast to how we move which makes hypocrisy very obvious and is not inspiring for anyone. It is a well worn path to talk a good talk but not usual to hold back the talk till you are talking the walk.
I agree, Lucy, the chances are super big that we come from knowledge, which is something different than the wisdom offered by our livingness.
It really is only when we take on responsibility on all levels that we can start to heal on all levels.
When we are truly responsible in life we are role models for others, some love it and some hate it, either way an opportunity has been offered to another by our reflection.
Living and reflecting responsibility is our responsibility, what another does with this is their responsibility.
To be a true role model one needs to actually live the quality of the words they share with others – for when someone tells you to do something with words that they do not live themselves they are just empty and will always fall on deaf ears.
“I met Serge Benhayon and heard him present on energetic responsibility, and coming from a man who was actually living what he presented, this had a huge impact on me.” Serge Benhayon reflects the power of a true role model and inspires others to take responsibility to become equal role models.
Reading this blog is very timely. Just the other day I was having a conversation with a close friend, and we were discussing how there are times when we are resistant to doing something and when we finally do what we have been resisting there is a deeper understanding of ourselves and others.
I know this pattern of “it’s too hard” and “I cannot do it” well but when I do do whatever I am always amazed at how easy it is…and how things actually take care of themselves.
Yes, things can seem a bit daunting at first, it is up to us to keep moving forward, ‘Even though at times I am not sure what exactly is being asked of me, I’m prepared to give it a go’.
Life without connecting to the true purpose of things is flat, dull and lifeless. It’s inderstandsble that people loose interest in living like that. But when we understand and see Gods hand in what we do, how could we refuse to do something new? Thank you Mary-Louise.
‘We often did not listen to them as there was no ‘role-modelling’ of what taking responsibility really looked like.’ From young we can sense and feel that there is no truth in what parents often are offering us, as a result of them not having a true role-model themselves. It is always inspiring to read and hear how you have come out of this abusive cycle and are now a beautiful role-model for so many women around the world.
With responsibility comes perspective as well, true perspective that allows us to see what is actually happening in the world.
Considering responsibility from an energetic perspective brings a great depth of understanding to it, which can be confronting seeing choices that we have made but equally if not more so is truly inspiring.
Mary-Louise I recognise the pattern of resistance when there is a next level of responsibility to go to and like you I have become aware of it. And although it is not always easy I also recognise the determination with which you keep on going because we know the other way so well and it is not worth going back to.
we have so many different interpretations of what responsibility means but none of them include being responsible for the quality in which we move through life. In most versions being responsible is being something or doing something you would rather not whereas true responsibility is all about being who you really are and living that in it’s full glory.
That is the huge difference, if someone is living responsibility and walking the walk it is a far cry from those who tell you what to do but do the opposite.
What I find so beautiful about embracing responsibility is that the more you accept the more is on offer, and the with that offering, the opportunity to live with greater depths of who we are in honour of all that we are part of and connected to. Responsibility is now a joy as I understand and have experienced how empowering it is to embrace all that is on offer when we say ‘yes’ to responsibility.
‘responsibility has changed immensely from one of thinking it was a ‘burden’ to one of seeing that the more true responsibility I take, the more fulfilling my life becomes.’ We are never taught this in school, thank you for sharing Mary-Louise
That is truly miraculous and unheard of that you have turned your life around after 30 years of living basically as a ‘drop out’in society and that not only have you healed yourself but now serve and work to improve your community.
Yes agreed Andrew – what a testament to the fact that truth is always on offer for us to live, regardless of our age, gender, culture or how far away we have wandered, we only need to begin saying ‘yes’.
A great sharing Mary-Louise on bringing the joy of true energetic responsibility into your life and by your way of living become a true role model for others.
You show how much we learn from what is lived and not from what is said and that we are no victims to how we have been brought up but can always change the course of our life by living by what we know is true and claim this as our living way.
Yes, Mary-Louise showed in this blog how we can change our old way of living by having a true reflection in life, ‘can always change the course of our life by living by what we know is true and claim this as our living way.’
Rebellion is only a movement away from responsibility that does not change anything; only confirmation of a way that is not true.
Yes, we think that rebellion is the way to go to change things but it is only a statement that things are not working and is not offering any true change. We do not need to show the world that things are not working by pointing them out and judging them. What truly changes the world is when we start to live what we deep down know is to be true and abide to it with our every breath and move and deepen it in our daily life.
This is really great Mary-Louise, ‘The embracing of what true responsibility is brings great joy into my life and I can deeply appreciate that I am now able to be a role model to others’, you certainly are.
I recognise this too at times, I am choosing to deepen ‘this responsibility, and interestingly, whenever the next level is offered I find myself at first resistant.’ Great to nominate what is at play when this resistance happens as you do.
” The embracing of what true responsibility is brings great joy into my life and I can deeply appreciate that I am now able to be a role model to others with an understanding that I did not have growing up.”
This is wonderful Mary-Louise thank you.
When someone presents something/models from which they are truly living, the effects can be far reaching.
What a turn around of how you used to live with no responsibility, to now being truly responsible and inspiring others and your family along the way.
I agree Lorraine and it shows how it is never to late to make different choices, heal our hurts and change our lives around completely.
As parents we would be wise to understand that words mean nothing if there is no Livingness behind the words.
You have brought me another level of understanding about why I withdraw and where it comes from. I could feel myself get bitter and resentful about it and yet actually I can see there is much to appreciate because I can now bring understanding to it and heal the pattern of reacting and withdrawing. It is now for me to live the life I know we are here to live and to shine as that example to others so they too can see it is possible to do, regardless of the parenting or the reflections they had growing up.
“But I am so onto this pattern, which is to think it is “too hard” and that “I cannot do it,” that the awareness I have developed around it means I do not give in to it” I have been learning to say ‘yes’ even though it may feel scary at times. But we re never given more than we can cope with – and can always ask for support. We cannot do it all alone.
Thank you Mary-Louise for very clearly reminding us all that true responsibility is not about what you do but rather the quality in which you do it. In a world that is bombarded by the importance of function we need to be well reminded that it is more than this.
And this is just one life of the many hundreds of lives that are gradually being transformed by the extraordinary rekindling of true awareness that Serge Benhayon offers to humanity.
I often come back to this blog and each time I completely forget that it is about you Mary-Louise because you are so responsible! For that reason, it inspires me to know how much things can change when we understand why we do what we do, not simply what we do. You share with us all how much we are masters of our own lives.
How we choose to live is our greatest responsibility. This makes words almost irrelevant, because it is how we live that truly comes through our words, not the words themselves.
Responsibility is taught by our acts, not by our words. When we talk about responsibility there must me an energetic responsibilty that is really taken place in our life to be a model to others. If this is not the case, we are miseducating and feeding the opposite of what we say.
Sometimes the word responsibility is used as a put down from others as a way of saying someone is not doing the right thing. Deep down we all know what taking responsibility means, however we can play a game where we think we can get away with compromise here and there. That way of living always catches up with you. Now responsibility means knowing that I am in control of all of my choices, and in that there is a freedom from blaming others and playing the victim.
Thank you Mary- Louise. I always hated the word responsibility for it always was loaded to what another person wanted. By their beliefs by culture or their way of looking at God and what God wanted, by the way they wanted their life to be and it all made no sense to me. I had a degree of understanding in that I knew the world did not live responsibility, if they did the world would not be in the mess it was in. Like you Mary-Louise when I came across Universal Medicine and Serge benhayon I truly learnt what responsibility was/is. I have a responsibility to be and express all that I am in the truth of where we all come from, we all have this responsibility equally, ” energetic responsibility ” And a responsibility not to give into the ideals and beliefs that are imposed on us all.
To clearly see and understand what true responsibility shows us the joy in it, the fact it’s asking us to go to that next level that we already are but now just need to live. And it’s new for many of us as we’ve grown up in a similar way to you Mary-Louise, being asked to be responsible but with no true models of how to do so, and indeed neither had our parents or theirs before them, so it feels like there are many of us waking up again to the understanding of what responsibility in fact is and what it means to live that. I very much appreciate your honesty here Mary-Louise in talking of the resistance that can come up when we’re asked to go to the next level and how if we stick with it we do get through this, it’s about our willingness to give it a go, and not about being perfect but being willing to see our part in the wider picture of what responsibility is asking of all of us.
Love what you offer in that when we take responsibility it takes care of us – the more responsibility we say yes to, the more we are offered… beautiful.
“I am so onto this pattern, which is to think it is “too hard” and that “I cannot do it,” that the awareness I have developed around it means I do not give in to it.”
I am developing just this level of awareness for myself and becoming acutely aware how sneaky this pattern is and how solid I need to be in trusting what I feel, not giving into whatever thoughts float around. As it is only when I give such thoughts air time, that they impact the steadiness and absolute trust I have in myself.
Back again – a perfect time to re-read this and be reminded that taking responsibility for our behaviour and the environment we create around ourselves is one that feeds the larger environment for those around us. We can all be the change we want to see in the world and in our lives and we can start at any age.
Powerful blog and message Mary-Louise – showing us all that when we truly that responsibility it is something to that takes care of you and the whole, so never is it a burden – but the opposite. The burden that we are feeling is simply the fact that we have not been taking our responsibility earlier. A powerful blog that actually shows us how taking responsibility = is beautiful.
You have shared that our behaviours do not need to be repeated generation after generation. Asking our children and teenagers to contribute is about teaching commitment and responsibility to life, thank you for the inspiration to have a deeper look at how I am and the reflection I offer.
We are responsible for all of our movements, we can choose to move with hardness, disconnected from our bodies or we can choose to connect to our natural delicacy and express this thus reflecting another way of being to others.
As a parent I can see that there is zero power or wisdom to be taken from words that do not have the depth of a lived & moved experienced. Indeed a parents expectations are drawn from their own needs, rather than the inspiration and guidance of an equal student of life…..
Have we ever considered the possibilities of what Mary Louise is sharing in this blog with the line ” the more true responsibility I take, the more fulfilling my life becomes”? For sure I did not had this perception of responsibility in the past and would have been very thankful for this truth being already told to me when I was young. But this did not happen, as we were just lacking the role models we are now developing as the students of universal medicine. True role models living the energetic responsibility that corresponds to our being once again returning into our societies!
Role modelling responsibility has really been brought home to me more and more lately… how I am in my home, how I parent, how I am at work, how I am in relationships etc. all have an impact on everyone around me and how much truth they see or not reflected. I see now how when we indulge in irresponsibility that it is a confirmation for another to choose the same if they want to…. that means we are adding to and promoting irresponsibility…. whoops! Just the thing most of us ask others to not be.
What we offer others in our movements when done in truth and love, is far greater than the words we speak.
Spot on Kim, empty words are just that, but our Livingness speaks very loud and clear.
Beautiful Mary-Louise – to be able to witness the way you were parented and your personal history in relation to responsibility without the judgement or the blame, but see it for what it is…. you feel free of it, wiser for it, and so ready for the next step rather than dragging all that along into the next moment.
It is interesting to understand why we have lost the true meaning of responsibility and instead use a bastardised version of it that actually does not feel so good to take on, and from there we developed an adverse to take any responsibility in any part of our life.
Kids feel everything. I can totally see where you are coming from in not feeling what was lived from your parents – the fact is children respond to movement and truth – and if we are not being a positive role model for them then we cannot expect them to comply.
Yes children feel everything and in the absence of steady consistent role models are set adrift. Children seek clear guidance from parents, anything less creates confusion and uncertainty and not knowing how to be in life begin to make it up or follow others outside the home.
The more we commit to life and to being truly responsible in it, the more we get to see how we haven’t lived with this level of responsibility and integrity. It then becomes a choice: to bash ourselves for our previous levels of irresponsibility, or appreciate the opportunity we’re now being offered to live that responsibility at a deeper level and reflect that back to the world. There’s always a deeper level we can bring to our lives, and to others, and the more we do that, the more beautiful life becomes.
Mary-Louise, it is very beautiful that you are now a true role model, this is very much needed in our society; ‘I can deeply appreciate that I am now able to be a role model to others with an understanding that I did not have growing up.’
The old do as I say but not as I do scenario will never cut the mustard with kids, parents need to reflect a way of being and live by example.
Responsibility is our every movement of our living way and highlights much in terms of how we choice to live and what is then reflected to the world from these movements. It shows the true mastery of energy and the deeper understanding we can gain from this level of looking at life too.
Mary-Louise, you are an amazing woman and through your choice to make these changes in your life and to take responsibility for how you were living you are now a role model to may, including me, your story is amazing and will inspire many others, ‘The embracing of what true responsibility is brings great joy into my life and I can deeply appreciate that I am now able to be a role model to others with an understanding that I did not have growing up.’
Haha – when I read that first paragraph I thought it might be one of my kids, or could equally have been me 30 years ago. The point I really picked up though was that no one every explained why. Why is it important to support the family, or how keeping my room tidy might support me etc etc. With a bit of time invested into the why, and linking that to the warmth I feel inside today, my resistance would have melted back then as it has now.
Yes great point Mary-Louse, true responsibility brings a joy, a joy in making different and loving choices in how I live.
We must indeed walk our talk when it comes to responsibility; always it is about the choices we make. A very inspirational blog Mary-Louise, thank you.
We don’t like to think how our Behaviour and what we say has an impact – an impact that is actually massive. And so the same pattern continues, the same cycle of people hurt by irresponsible behaviour lashing out with their own version of irresponsibility – until eventually one by one we make the choice to stop and come back to love.
I can relate to being offered the next point of responsibility and instantly thinking I can’t do that, and then afterwards seeing it for what it is, an old pattern and the opportunity to chip away at the old behaviours.
Mary-Louise you are a role model for us all, the way you live now, your commitment to life, your commitment to truth and your focus on letting go of any harmful behaviours is truly inspirational.
Since choosing to live responsible your life has touched many many others, through you they have seen that it is possible to change and to come back to live life with a real purpose, real joy and a real connection.
Thank you Mary-Louise.
Thank you Mary Louise… And it is possibly the case that we can only reconfigure our own aberrant behaviour by having a role model that actually lives responsibility to the core… and in Serge Benhayon we have exactly that.
We do, and then when we choose to live responsibly we then role model that to everyone in and around us and equally inspire others to choose the same.
The understanding of true responsibility has been grossly corrupted in our current society so much so that we actually champion and indulge in irresponsibility, with irresponsibility often becoming our lifestyle choice. With this we greatly miss living who we truly are. Thank you for sharing Mary-Louise how embracing true responsibility naturally enrichens our lives through living in connection to who we, as we then consider the quality of connection in which we move through our day, as such we are more aware of the effects that our choices and our quality of presence has in our lives and the lives of others.
If we grew up in a world that tells us that irresponsibility is normal we would not think twice about it, and yet our bodies would always tell us if that is the truth or not.
When we choose to live from the truth of us, others get the opportunity to know themselves back from this reflection. This is truly serving and true responsibility.
It’s interesting how we tend to avoid responsibility at times, but when we do step into it it feels so amazing. There is so much joy in taking responsibility.
As you say ‘…when we do step into it feels so amazing.’ – this is so true Rebecca and my experience also. For in embracing responsibility we are in fact embracing more of who we are, as such choosing to bring the richness of our connection to more aspects in our lives.
Our reflection and movements are far more powerful than any words we could ever say to another. When I first heard the words ‘true responsibility’ I remember feeling quite resistant and scared of what that actually meant for me, but I have been learning to embrace this more fully in my life and to feel the joy and freedom that this choice brings – In fact I now realise I am more scared of the irresponsibility.
This is a great example of the bustardisation of what responsibility is. All played out so we are in rejection and reaction of it, never wanting to go near it. When this becomes exposed in our life and we get to feel the true quality of reasonability we are prepared to look at what is getting in the way of us living it, for there is much joy and love to be felt in true responsibility.
It’s interesting how we rebel when as children we are told what to do, but often children naturally want to join in with what adults do. Perhaps the telling comes from a lack of trust that responsibility will happen naturally and there is a belief that it needs to be enforced rather than encouraged.
I love your openness and commitment to always deepening your love and responsibility, Mary-Louise – “Even though at times I am not sure what exactly is being asked of me, I’m prepared to give it a go”.
Asked recently what really pushes my buttons and I was reminded that as parents telling so called ‘white lies’ or bigger and not living what they themselves were asking their children to do or be. I think this is why I rebelled in a similar sort of way to you Mary-Louise not as extreme but I felt rebellious against the lies I could feel, but never expressed. Children feel everything but if they don’t express it in the right way it comes out in all the different behaviours we take on to mask what we are really feeling.
It sounds like your parents were role models for irresponsibility and that is what they taught you. There is nothing more irresponsible than the misuse of words as we share in Unimedpedia – http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia – and saying one thing whilst doing the opposite is completely irresponsible and giving a child a very mixed up view and example of the world. Serge Benhayon on the other hand is an absolute role model for true responsibility and energetic integrity and has been responsible for inspiring and turning around the lives of many hundreds of people.
This is not in any way to judge your parents as they too were most likely products of their parents and upbringing and so it goes on. This is one of many reasons why it is so important to stop the cycle and step of this miserable-go-round as you have and countless other are choosing to do so and embrace the joys and liberation of true responsibility, purpose and service.
Taking True Responsibility for what I bring to life needs adjusting all the time – to always be an expansion. It is amazing how there is always more to bring, and I when I am there , I often wonder ‘ why didn’t I see that before’?
‘The embracing of what true responsibility is brings great joy into my life’ and our greatest tension is found in resisting this responsibility – the responsibility of being all that we are and not anything less.
I can relate to being told to do something by adults around me but observing that they do the exact opposite, be it concerning health, or behaviour….role modelling is key to true inspiration and someone living lovingly with responsibility is a shining light to be inspired by.
When we truly embrace responsibility, it brings more joy into our lives, and involves acceptance of ourselves and all of our choices. Being responsible is all-inclusive. It means taking responsibility for our quality and all of our choices, our greatest moments and our biggest stuff-up moments. Nothing is left behind or left out, everything contributes to the whole.
We often champion deeds as responsibility and have endless lists of them to tick off and be fulfilled (seemingly) in their completion but true responsibility is everything about the energy in which we move, breath and express – the alignment to all that we are that is true and divine or the alignment to all that is contrary to this true fire which is in fact energetic irresponsibility.
Our responsibility is to hold everyone in Love and Truth always and to reflect a way forward by the vibration we emanate.
A beautiful and very real sharing of what responsibility really means and the joy of living this in our everyday lives thank you Mary- Louise for sharing this amazing truth lived.
When we accept that we (and no one else) are responsibility for all of our choices in life, it removes blame out of the equation altogether, because we see in every situation that we have played a part, even if something ‘has happened to us’.
it has been a big con that the world associates responsibility with arduousness, struggle, and a burden when it fact it could not be more opposite.. once we truly begin to understand responsibility we learn that it is an intrinsic part of the joy and freedom we could be living every moment of the day if we were to so choose.
The greater call to be more responsible often involves letting go of old patterns that I’m holding onto and don’t want to let go of, because they feel like a part of me. To not have them asks me to be more of me, to let go and surrender, which can feel like a scary thing, but only when I identify myself with these patterns. Connecting more to the stillness and steadiness we can feel within supports us to let go more.
I love your approach Mary-Louise of being prepared to give something ago, even though you’re feeling a resistance to it and not quite sure how or what needs to be done next. When we stay open to feeling what’s needed next, then we allow space to feel the resistance, observe it and let it go – and what is naturally next then comes into view. What’s also important is discerning – are we chasing down something to be responsible for, but in a way that we want to own it out of a neediness for recognition, to be seen to be doing something ‘good’, or are we taking responsibility for our energetic quality in everything that we do, and allowing greater responsibilities of life, work and relationships to flow towards us and be encompassed within this responsibility that we are already taking of ourselves?
This is a great example of taking true responsibly. Something many of us shy away from. We are so used to wanting to go into comfort that we are sometimes not even aware that we are indeed shirking responsibility. So the key is to bring awareness to how we live and move in life.
True – every pocket of comfort that we are in is an indicator of the irresponsibility we are choosing and allowing to run us.
Great sharing Mary-Louise, it is a choice we make every moment, to take true responsibility, we seem to have diluted the true meaning of responsibility to mean a half hearted type of responsibility. I now know that true responsibility is far deeper and meaningful than I first thought it was.
Joy is not often mentioned in the same sentence with responsibility but there is a deep joy in taking true responsibility for our actions and the way that we live, one that takes equal care and holds ourselves and all others in equal love.
Thankyou Mary-Louise for your constant reflection of what is possible, regardless of our age.
Until we have a foundation of words that we live in the energy of those words can we say we have any responsibility in our life? For everything is energy and energy comes before words so our words have to be energetically lived in truth so we can be role models as you have shared Mary-Louise, and I know that you walk the talk when it come to energetic integrity!
Super real, humble and honest – and that a true offering for us all to be inspired to turn our lives literally around. We are not victims of being in a dismal existence if that is what we find ourselves in. We feed our own stories and our own creations with our choices – and if we choose to avoid the real responsibility we carry by virtue of being part of the human race, we are also choosing the dismal, the mundane, the struggle. And the choice can always be made differently – something your story Mary-Louise keeps inspiring to the hilt.
What a joy to read Mary-Louise, and just shows how we all have the power to move from being irresponsible to being responsible with our choices and how this is how we set ourselves ‘free’, and become a reflection and true role model for others.
We are sold a lie that responsibility is not enjoyable, when in fact it is key in living a steady and forever deepening joy each day.
At best in irresponsibility there will be ‘high’ moments that take a tremendous amount of effort to try and sustain.
Mary-Louise you are that role model and a deep inspiration for change and taking greater responsibility in all that you are and in all that you do.
Thats what we need in life, role models that live responsibility and not just talk about it, we can’t tell our kids to keep their rooms clean if any part of the rest of the house is not kept tidy.
Responsibility is a continuous choice in every moment, not a big decision that one undertakes to fulfil the responsible imagery.
Yes Michael, this resonates and is spot on; Responsibility is a continuous choice in every moment of our day.
It’s common sense. Children are not going to take us seriously if we do not portray the type of behaviour we are asking of them. It’s surprising how many adults think they can get away with anything when they think their kids aren’t watching. But children can feel everything. They can’t be fooled. Why should they listen to someone who doesn’t walk their talk.
A beautiful, honest and inspirational sharing Mary-Louise, thank you. Taking full responsibility for every aspect of our lives is certainly the key; it is incumbent on us all to be the forever student as we learn to live what responsibility truly means.
Today I have become more aware of how I speak and the quality in which I speak to another as a form of responsibility. For example if I am tired and not taking responsibility for what I am saying to another I can feel then just how unclear this becomes in conversation for either myself or the other person and how either can be left to feel this after the conversation. So responsibility in expression at all times is something I need to be more aware of.
I agree that the word responsibility is bandied about a lot in parent and child and family conversations but as you say astutely in your blog if this comes as a burden without explanation or is spoken but not lived by example it is an empty word and this can be harming in the sense that it can put us off responsibility for life, even though it is one of the laws of the universe and therefore something that makes up our very being and essence.
When we surrender, love takes care of all the “I don’t knows”. When we claim our worth, life shows us (together) we do know.
I love this line: “the more true responsibility I take, the more fulfilling my life becomes”. I love it because it places the fulfilment of life firmly in your own hands as your own responsible practise to make it so, and not anything any one can give to you because your fulfilment is yours to master.
‘Your fulfilment is yours to master’ – taking responsibility for our own lives is ultimately empowering as we realise we can entirely choose what kind of life we want to have: one that is determined by how much joy we want to feel, rather than what ‘happens’ to us.
True responsibility must be lived if we are to walk our talk – otherwise we offer no true inspiration or role modelling.
Living from our bodies and feeling the true reflection that is there is so important as we all need true role models that inspire us.
In rereading your blog I remember my familiy often functioning in a so called responsible but loveless way and I have similar experiences concerning responsible tasks and how heavy this felt.
It seems tha love was avoided to the best of everyones ability and caring for others except oneself was the focus. To learn to care for myself, cherish and appreciate who I am, accept myself the way I am and learn to take new choices is a work in progress.
It is so interesting how we rebel against Responsibility in life, seeing it as a concern that is a burden and hard work. Whereas since I started taking Responsibility for my life, I have experienced the absolute opposite – I am no longer exhausted, worried or anxious, I have more clarity – life is much easier because I am no longer fighting Truth.
So true Jenny, when we fight truth our whole life is in reverse! Being fully responsible in all we do is like a breath of fresh air that continually deepens and brings a feeling that is forever deepening.
We don’t need to have perfect lives or upbringings to be role models, just honesty and a willingness to become more aware of the impact our choice have on ourselves and those around us.
Hearing Serge Benhayon speak about energetic responsibly was a complete game changer on the topic. In the understanding that our every move will affect everyone equally whether adversely, or advantageously is a huge transition from what we currently think responsibility to be.
Being a role model for responsibility requires a deep commitment to self that is something each of us and thereby the world needs. We all can live this way if we choose, but it is a development and not an instant resolution to our previous way of living.
As you say Mary-Louise, there is unlimited joy that comes from taking energetic responsibility – dodging responsibility is dodging our evolution, and our ever-expanding love that knows no end point.
We are demonstrated to what is acceptable by movements, not words.
I remember the huge disappointment when I asked the adults at my school to explain the significance of what they were demanding of me and their guarded response showed that they did not have a clue either. So similarly I did not want to play ball with their demands. It is amazing meeting people who walk their talk and honour others as an equal, because they offer a reminder that this is our natural essence and provide an inspiration for us to live that too.
Spot-on Golnaz, when there is people walking there talk it makes a world of difference so with them bringing a true inspiration we are all blessed.
What an extraordinary turnaround… Really, Mary Louise, you should be presenting your life story to Parliament house… having just had new Australian governments fiscal budget released yesterday, you will story of breaking such a deeply entrenched pattern that should normally be continued generation after generation is something that should be headlines… It would certainly, if adopted by everyone, turn this country’s economy right around.
I agree, Mary-Louise, about the importance of having true role models growing up. Just one person who is reflecting love and integrity with consistency can be enough of a reminder of our true nature.
The attitude that life is burdensome and something to be endured is prevalent. Responsibility for many, including myself had a similar meaning. I spent a lot of my early adulthood doing my best to avoid it. The thing is, the consequences of my choices always showed me that avoiding responsibility created more mess and complication. These days, I find dealing with life and facing what need to be dealt with has simplified my life and made it much more enjoyable.
Supported by articles such as these my relationship with responsibility is developing more honestly and responsibly 🙂
Thanks for Writing this Mary-Louise as although I am far more responsible than I used to be I still have a problem with it and a long way to go, not always stepping up to the plate when needed. Seeing it as not a burden as it makes your life far more fulfilling is an inspiring sentence to read.
It’s fascinating to observe all the behaviours we go into to avoid taking responsibility…if we spent as much time being responsible as we do trying to avoid it the world would certainly look different!
It is very easy to shirk responsibility, especially that which asks us to be more aware, tender, loving and understanding. When all is said and done, it is often that which we avoid that the world needs most.
Interesting how the household you describe growing up can seem crazy on one hand but so normal on another. We have as a society learnt to put up with and accept a picture of a family that is not true. What I love about this sharing is the deep change that has taken place to embrace full responsibility.
I find being ready and willing to look at what is coming up for me, is all I need to do. The rest seems to be easy when I make it about what I have done and what I can now choose , and take the focus off what others have done.
It shows how much we have made life and its daily tasks and chores hard and burdensome, with the focus always on what needs to be done and with that we loose the connection to ourselves and the people that are involved.
I am falling in love with responsibility… it is life changing and empowering.
I agree Matilda, responsibility is not a ‘dirty’ word, it is glorious and life becomes purposeful and full of joy if we truly embrace the truth of this word.
I have typically looked around at the world and seen that there isn’t much responsibility going on, that has been with myself included. Whether that is at work, seeing how people shirk responsibility, do not tell the truth, not been honest in how they interacted with others. Then there is how responsibility turns up in relationships, not being self honouring or honouring of others. and how we are then with our bodies. There is so much that we don’t take reposnsibltiy for, so what you’re sharing Mary-Louise is so huge and very much worth celebrating.
At the age of 6 I thought I had a responsibility to tell the viewers of our house that was for sale about the damp patch on the wall that was being concealed by the painting. My mother didn’t seem too pleased, but I’m sure my honesty was appreciated by the potential buyers. Where does our responsibility actually lie? Is it only when it is convenient or when we’re not going to get into trouble? Our responsibility needs to be to the truth rather than to any person or loyalty.
I see this a lot play out in schools, where kids blame one another instead of taking responsibility for themselves. Through experience I am learning it is much more joyful to take responsibility for myself in a situation.
Could it be that being a rebel can be a good thing? What if we have lived lots of lives in the same old rut, rich, poor, healthy or sick? Does being a rebel give us the opportunity to step back and really look at our life and the pattern of choices we keep repeating? The energetic responsibility taught and lived by Serge Benhayon is the candle in the darkness we seek, that shows we can change our choices at any time!
I love re-reading this blog as it is so real and raw and brings a ‘can do’ attitude to taking up new and greater responsibilities as they present.
Me too Kathleen, it is inspiring constantly asking whats next? How can I deepen and take more responsibility in this area or that area. Knowing that there is an abundance of love and living in a way that forever deepens this love is the only way otherwise we settle for better which is light years away from the magnificence we are.
A beautiful sharing of true responsibility and how it can take us a life time to really know this from within but when we do our life changes dramatically and the simplicity and purpose of our lives becomes obvious and loving.
What comes with a responsibility is also surrender, a surrender of what we are thinking is right from our heads and letting out what is in our inner hearts.
It’s amazing how our irresponsible ways or quirky ways we develop can be then ingrained and part of default behaviour when we are adults, for instance we may be able to change some behaviours – but changing the root cause is what really brings the change.
If we do not change the root cause then nothing really changes. The outward behaviour may change but usually it will just get changed to something else and the original behaviour we were trying to avoid and deal with will simply later arise and grab us again.
Absolutely, it is like we carry them through life thinking that we are ‘getting away with it’ when we are just delaying feeling the harm we are causing to ourselves and those around us.
Our perception of responsibility is one of burden but what you have described here Mary-Louise does not sound burdensome in the least, but joy-full. Thank you for sharing.
“more true responsibility I take, the more fulfilling my life becomes” , this is so true, one I have become to understand, when we step up to true responsibility our life changes in all direction, we get some much clarity within our body, our choices change, how we feel, look and eat. Everything starts to change.
Energetic responsibility is an on going livingness.
There are certainly a myriad of ways to wriggle out of what is called responsibility – sitting on the toilet is a good one; someone in my family used to ask “anything I can do?” just when everything was done and no sooner, just in case. But of course, energetic responsibility is even vaster than that and goes far beyond paying taxes, doing the dishes, etc. etc.
Lovely raw and open article about what responsibility means on a very personal level, but in this we can all be inspired and appreciate where we also have a relationship with responsibility.
Thank you for sharing Mary-Louise I can relate to what you have shared and also rebelled with against responsibility. I took it to mean a task or something rather than the quality of energy I am allowing to run my body. The moment I actually stop and do this everything changes and I do not see it as an arduos task but rather a loving act.
The way we live is our greatest responsibility – and this brings so much more than our words when we speak and relate with others.
A beautiful sharing on what true responsibility for self is and how we can make new movements to re-connect to it at anytime of our lives if we so choose to. Brilliant thank you Mary-Louise.
” the more true responsibility I take, the more fulfilling my life becomes”
The responsibility you describe is one who leads to true joy.
Mary-Louise, this is so inspiring, and proves that we are never too old to change our behaviours and to start taking true responsibility for ourselves.
“Even though at times I am not sure what exactly is being asked of me, I’m prepared to give it a go whether that be a shift in the quality in which I approach life, or specifically with a job or project that asks for greater responsibility.” This is great Mary-Louise, even though it seems impossible and I noticed too that there can be a ‘my old ways and reactions are easier’ feel, if I just give it a go it most of the time easier than I thought. We can think a lot but what we are always truly in control of is how we move and that is where we need to go in these moments, changing the movement.
It is true, we grow up without any real conversations about responsibility and then wonder why we see it as a burden and something to avoid, and yet when we think about it how many people are there who walk around as though the world owes them a living. One huge example is not taking responsibility for our health and then having the expectations that the medical profession will simply put us back together again, but some times they just cannot do it.
I can completely relate to the resistant behaviour that comes out when the next step of responsibility is offered, and how this takes practise to embrace it as an opportunity and not a threat to the status-quo which has been developed.
Taking responsibility for our behaviours is such a huge thing, because by design, human that is, we want to shirk responsibility at all costs. Many do not even know they are doing it, allowing our behaviours to take control, that could reactions, being protected, defensive and many more. But underneath them all there is a level of responsibility we are just not wanting to take.
We can get so caught up in the whole family thing and what our roles are as the parent with our children. If only we really meet our children as equals and not someone who is lesser in wisdom and needs to be told, then we would read what is there to be felt and known and work with what doesn’t fit into a truly loving and supportive family group.
Mary-Louise, you confirm to me that children do know what responsibility is because I felt this too. But if we were not seeing adults living with true responsibility then what message are we giving our children? To teach children about responsibility means we have to live it ourselves otherwise the word responsibility is meaningless.
I have met parents that are frustrated because their children are behaving ‘badly’ and interestingly there is often no willingness to see that this is a consequense of their own lack of true role-modelling. They are unhappy with the results but seemingly not able to put the dots together, or they deliberately choose to deny the uncomfortable reality.
Eva, I have seen this too in other parents as well as myself. But I have started to join the dots and not only that I am learning to understand where these behaviours stem from. Also learning to take responsibility for how I am behaving around children because every choice I make affects the next moment and children are very sensitive and super observant. As a parent I am beginning to see how I am with myself affects the energy of my entire family.
Beautiful Chan Ly – and this is not solely the parents responsibility, each and every one of us have the responsibility to reflect truth to children (and of course everyone else) to the best of our ability, as you say, children observe adults and they copy us all the time.
It is actually very natural to live with responsibility when it comes to bringing the divine quality in life as that to me is the only responsibility we have in life. But in real life it is not that simple as I have ben raised with completely different ideas of what responsibility is and I do still carry some of these with me and which I uncover one by one as not being needed in life as they actually only feel as a burden to me and do actually not allow me to live the quality energetic responsibility is about.
How important is role modelling in our day and age and well in any day and age. We often view it as showing people how to do something in a particular area of life or being the best you can at something but not to many have taken the ‘role model for life’ on with great results. What’s the missing ingredient in the way we role model? Quality and the energetic quality to be more precise. You are what you live and so the way you live no matter what you do will always determine the role model you are. We can dress things up and down as much as we want but what everything always comes down to is the feeling, the way or energy something is done in. It makes sense and this is how we learn and you only need to either think back to when you were a kid or what kids, how do they learn? From what they see you do not from what they hear you say. The more we take this quality of responsibility in our hands the clearer it will become for us all.
Hi Ray, this is so true that what you say. We actually learn more from peoples behaviour then from their words so that indeed bring a complete new level to integrity and responsibility as it is not only about what we say or express in life but it is actually the way we live and being aware of the impact we have with our behaviour on all people we are with.
Thank you Mary-Lousie for this is such an important clarification to be aware of, as true responsibility is actually very empowering. In society, we are led to believe that responsibility equates to obligation, duty to another or work, a requirement and many times a burden. Other times when it is asked that we take responsibility do we really know what this means except for being ‘good’ or behaving in a certain way that for into what is expected? Yet in-truth responsibility is all about our connection to the love we are within, honesty and bringing awareness to the choices we make. As bringing awareness to how our choices feel in our bodies allows us to know whether they are in honor and respect our loving quality, and how this impacts not only ourselves but also those around us. The beautiful and empowering thing being the we are the ones forever making the choices of how our lives are being lived, as such the way the world is today, and it is ‘we’ that can make a change at any given moment to live more love in our lives.
Embracing true responsibility is the way forth in life, for it sets a momentum that not only benefits self for being more of who we are but also inspires others to reignite their love for their bodies and know themselves as true sons of God, thank you Mary-Louise.
This blog is the living example that it doesn’t matter what or where you think you have come from, it’s never to late to change, it doesn’t matter your age or your background, if you discover the true meaning of the word responsibility, you can never walk away from it and nor would you want to.
This is a perfect example how we as children know exactly what is going on and are not fooled by words but observe to the detail what is really going on around us.
When reading this blog I can recall and feel the arrogance and judgement I used to hold of others. When in reality, my reaction and rebellion was no high moral ground just another position and protection from the hurt I felt of not living from who I truly am.
Being told to take responsibility is far different from the reflection a person living and breathing responsibility offers. With the latter, often no words are needed.
It is such a trap to fall into a responsibility which does not serve to connect deeper with oneself, but which is focussed on recognition and acceptance. So different to live true responsibility which is the connection and loving relationship to oneself and from there to others.
Thank you for sharing Mary Louise……It definitely shows us all, that we all have a responsibility to be loving role models, living in a truthful way with ourselves and others, not only for our children, but for all to see and feel. Makes us all ponder on, what role model are we……. people are watching…..
Perhaps our greatest responsibility is simply to live the love that we are and by virtue of this cast a true reflection for others to look upon and know that they are also of the one and the same eternal beauty.
I found it extraordinary to realize more and more how much power lies in ‘taking responsibility’ – in a loving and true way. When I read your family-story, remember mine and hear from others where they did grow up in, its seams to me a wonder where we are now. We show that it is possible to break the cycle of self-abuse and disregard, the cycle of helplessness and overwhelm. My way of living is so different to what I did grow up with and I am able to offer this way to the world now – as a true role model. All by taking responsibility. Responsibility about my feelings, my thoughts, my relationships, my way of living. Responsibility is in fact -if understood and lived in a true way- a gift of heaven.
It is fascinating how we want to avoid, dodge and blame others so we don’t have to take responsibility for our choices and actions. Once we bring in karma and the law of cause and effect you start to realise that being irresponsible doesn’t mean you get away with anything. Everything we choose has to come back with the same vibration.
I used to avoid responsibility at all costs and blame the world for everything and these days I am able to look around and really appreciate the choices I have made and the results that I am living with. I love that I have been more responsible with my choices and how that has an effect on me and everyone around me. I am in no way perfect, in fact, quite far from it.. but then what is perfect…. I guess being responsible is different for everyone based on where they are at and what they are open to.
Every time I choose to dull down, totally ignore the truth of me, or of the situation in favour of comfort in some form, I’m saying no to love and evolution.
Growing up and through most of my life I avoided the word responsibility it made me feel uncomfortable so I dismissed the word from my vocabulary and replaced it with good, being good and not making waves. It has taken me a long time to really embrace the word and enjoy the more full-filling life that comes from taking responsibility for my self, my behaviours and my understanding of what energetic responsibility and accountability really mean.
It feels like taking true responsibility for our behaviour is a part of learning as we grow up,. I can remember many examples at school when I was on trouble and was squirming defending myself with excuses pretending it was not my fault and blaming external circumstances for what had happened. I also have had some amazing role models since then, and like you, Mary Louise, non greater then Serge Benhayon who lives true responsibility to show us the impact of doing so, inspiring us to be more responsible.
I remember learning again that we are being constantly watched and felt by everyone around us… I don’t know why I had forgotten it because I’ve always watched and felt everybody is well. We can use it as an excuse not to be responsible, when we downplay ourselves and try to be small and insignificant. The thing is, is that every single one of us how we live affects the all and that’s something we like to forget at times.
Indeed there is such a difference between taking responsibility for the day to day (which is still important) and taking energetic responsibility for how I am each day. It is the combination of the two that have made the biggest difference in my life.
Very true Joel, there are two types of responsibility. The second often gets overlooked and is why so many people struggle with everyday living,
To take true responsibility is to connect to the fact that we do not belong here and we must depart All as one.
I do know what responsibility is but, because I don’t live it as I know it – the unabashed, full allowing of love to be expressed in each movement – I try to numb out, dumb down what I do know so as to not feel a fraud in my own body.
At a recent Universal Medicine expression workshop I got the freedom to express what I do know regardless of whether I live it. I got to feel a fraud not just on an intellectual level but in my body and it did not feel good! But so much more honest and present than living life behind a kind of perspex screen. Allowing myself to feel this more opens the way to actually living what I know to be true which is being responsible. I welcome feeling a fraud as it shows me in no uncertain terms where I live a lie and can choose otherwise. Anything else is deeply harming.
The truth in a persons words can be clearly felt when they are from a body/person that is truly living what is being expressed.
Agreed Elizabeth and the lived expression is what brings equality and furthermore accessibility.
Gosh its easy to understand how we would want to turn our back on responsibility when it is delivered with anger, frustration and resentment. My biggest learning is realising just how supported i am by self – responsibility.
I feel true responsibility is when we can say it is not about ‘me’ anymore but what I can bring to the world in service to bring greater understanding of what we are all here to do. Which is not to be here at all but to evolve back to a higher vibration so we can move on within the universe. We were never meant to descend into this realm of life where we are so dense we are like lumps of stone in comparison to our natural state of being.
What a beautiful expose Mary-Louise on what it means to experience irresponsiblity as a child and into teenage years, to not feel or see any role models. Then to learn how to take actual responsibility, true responsibility.
‘But they said this!’ ‘they did that thing that isn’t right’ ‘they were mean to me in such a big way’. These are just some of the thousands of excuses we use to rationalise us playing up. We might be right, the things we see may not be a loving way to be but what is the true nature of our response, our behaviour? Your sharing here Mary-Louise makes it absolutely clear, there is no reason great enough for us to abandon Love.
I love your honesty in terms of how you chose to avoid any sort of responsibilty as a chid, and now can see why that was so. Its inspiring how readily you turned it around as an adult when finally you could see the point to it.
I am able to relate to what you share here and it makes sense that you didnt want to engage or be a part of the family which worked like that, with no true examples of responsible behaviour. Its no wonder that life simply didnt make sense to you in terms of what you were told to do, versus what you could see being lived by those around you. It also makes sense that responsibility was simple for you to commit to when you saw a man living it daily, and how that impacted all who knew him.
The environments we grow up in can easily form the bedrock of what we accept as normal. It is always free to challenge loveless behaviour and patterns we endorse as a normal part of life.
We can’t be responsible for anyone else’s behaviour, to try to be is exhausting, we have to allow people to be, and take responsibility for ourselves, I am yet to live this in full, but I do know that it is super joyful.
Awesome to read your story, Mary-Louise, not only are you a true rolemodel today by who you are but also by the way you have turned around your life completely. It IS possible to make enormous changes like you have, and the way you have made different choices is a huge inspiration.
While I agree with you Mary-Louise when you say
“We often did not listen to them as there was no ‘role-modelling’ of what taking responsibility really looked like.”
I also feel we do have an in built sense of responsibility and it’s a choice whether we act on that sense or not. I know this from my own experience of growing up. I could feel I had a level of responsibility that was quite strong irrespective of what others were doing around me and it was my choice to act on responsibility or not. Sometimes I did and sometimes I didn’t. So I guess what I’m saying is we don’t need role models surely it comes down to a choice, our own choice. To blame someone or something else surely means we haven’t taken our responsibility for our own choices.
“I met Serge Benhayon and heard him present on energetic responsibility” when I first heard this it was something that every part of me knew was true yet something that I didn’t want to really look at, I hated the word responsibility and to consider that everything I did affected everyone else was something I didn’t want to look at, yet today I see energetic responsibility as the biggest blessing as not only does what I do affect everything and everyone but that means I can equally inspire everyone and everything. In effect by choosing my energetic quality I can help inspire the world to change.
Serge’s presentations on energetic responsibility resonate deeply, and to see this as a lived truth in this man, is a powerful inspiration to reconnect to that same responsibility for ourselves and in this the true joy of that quality lived.
Re-reading this blog, I am reminded how powerful it is to have even just one person in our lives who is reflecting truth and can be a true role model of what it is like to live with integrity and consistency. Serge Benhayon is an absolute inspiration to thousands of people all over the world.
Looking back I can see that when I grew up, I found it hard to connect. My parents weren’t available in the way I instinctively knew that they could be. So rather than understand this, what I did was cause trouble, difficulty and strife, to play up and make incidents throughout my life. So pretty much the antithesis of responsibility Mary Louise! – but I just wanted them to hug, care and simply be there with me. Looking back now I can see that this was a big lesson for me, and also how this ‘strife’ I chose became a super convenient way of avoiding my power. Amazing the lengths we will go to, all to fill in the space where we know we are Love.
This blog has been a great source of inspiration for me in the last week. A simple change that stood out in this blog has brought more clarity to the foundation of care that I was living. Thank you for sharing the potential to learn and grow from all that is presented by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine Teachings.
Growing up there was no conversations about what responsibility was and looking at it now these messages were communicated by the way my parents and grandparents acted, and then we just followed suit. It wasn’t until I got older that I started to question some of the ways my parents had lived (lots of parties, smoking and drinking) but I still did not see anything wrong with it, because it was all I knew, and had my body accepted the smoking and drinking I probably would have taken that on as my life also.
It is easy to see how the lack of responsibility can be passed on from generation to generation, and until we start to have conversations about responsibility and to reflect our own responsible chooses to the world and those around us, responsibility will be seen as something to be avoided or burdensome.
Mary-Louise, it’s interesting how we are told to take responsibility when the people who are telling this are often not living responsibly themselves. I have noticed with parents how we expect our children to behave and live in a certain way – for example be gentle and kind and look after ourselves, but as parents we are often not living this way and so children are not seeing this role modelled and so are less likely to listen or understand what this means.
“In my teenage years my irresponsible behaviour escalated into a whole other level ” what stopped me when reading this was the fact that we accept and think teenage behaviors is normal, I put up with this and whilst I was super unsettled I was told this is normal. If I look at this today, its not normal just widespread and its time to truly support our young adults.
I was given the examples in my life that it was acceptable behavior to smoke and drink by my parents and their friends. As we become adults, we can’t blame them and I did copy their ways for a while. But I started to look after myself more, and felt the positive change of this in myself. The responsibility of all our choices is ours alone, and this is also the example we set for others all the time, it grows and grows.
Ditto Gill – it is absolutely possible to make a change of lifestyle, the choice is all ours.
Working though my resistance to responsibility opens me up to a beautiful, all encompassing relationship with life and our purpose.
Without true appreciation and connection in our relationships we are ‘ telling’ another what to do, which feels meaningless, has no love or evolution in it, and only creates reactions.
Being asked to be more responsible is being asked to accept how powerful and divine we are.
And when you say ‘yes’ to that responsibility, there is a deepening of self-acceptance – that you are saying ‘yes’ the fact that you are devine, ‘yes’ I am enough, capable and powerful…
As children, we are often told.. “do as I say, not as I do”. Therefore adults, knowing that they are not being responsible in their own lives are expecting children to do so. How hypocritical is that? I remember an old aunt telling me I didn’t respect her and she was right, because I didn’t. She was blaming me but the reason was that she was attempting to control me in a very forceful imposing manner.
Having a role-model or models that reflect to us true responsibility is the best kind of teacher we can have. We are all watching each other and clocking how we are actually living and moving even if it is something that we’re not so consciously aware of and so to have an actual lived reflection of energetic responsibility speaks volumes.
My old thinking of what responsibility is was for example eating healthy concerning what books, doctors and friends were telling me, it was that I am on time, that I help others, that I do my homework, support in the household, attend church etc. All those things did not tell me who I am, only what I needed to do coming from the outside. Nobody told or reflected to me that there is a way to connect deeply with myself and bring this into my daily life. Only when I started attending courses with Universal Medicine I started to become aware, there is another life and there is another responsibility, the responsibility to care deeply for myself, nurture myself and stay connected to me and my inner heart, actually stay true to me.
Isn’t it amazing how much impact someone that lives a life in integrity can have on people around them? If you look at that, it reveals how easy it can be to change the world!
There is great joy in responsibility because with each step up we are offered a window into our potential, and when we realise that this has no real limits, its impossible not to celebrate ourselves!
Two things were really clear reading this today, the first being that the absence of true role models on a child growing up has such a significant impact on setting up behaviours, and the second is that as adults (including young adults) we have a choice whether to continue those behaviours or to find our own true models and/or become one ourselves.
It is deeply inspiring that Serge Benhayon has stepped up to be a true model for humanity, and is then inspiring thousands of people to become their own, which goes on to lead for others – the ripple effect is huge.
Amazing support naturally comes to us when we live with true responsibility. Its like everything constellates to support such integrity.
What you share is very deep, as so many of us had wandered off the track into self abuse and irresponsibility. It just takes one person to truly reflect what true responsibility for others to feel it and give the courage to step up to being responsible.
The moment we are willing to take responsibility we are also ‘equipped’ with the power for whatever it takes.
Thank you Mary-Louise for the reminder that the ‘too hard’ ‘can’t do it’ thoughts are not true. Yesterday when feeling into a part of life I’ve been avoiding responsibility for my whole body expanded and became starkly more still within myself. This beats the racy panic that stirrs up when trying to create reasons, logic and excuses for why I should or am holding back.
Responsibility, the word can be used by many but when it is lived then it is insuring a a role model is there to lead the way. Saying it and living it can be very different.
One of the greatest responsibilities we have is to continually deepen our connection to our body and our multidimensionality so we truly know that we are more then this body, that we come from the stars.
I love what you say about being so onto the patterns. I’ve been noticing that in myself very much lately – a familiar feeling coming up of oh, that is too hard and I can’t be bothered – an old pattern that comes up every time I’m about to take a big step into something grander, something new. Being on to it makes all the difference, I can see it for what it is and go, yep – there’s that sneaky bugger again – and then let it go.
When we see people around us not being responsible I’ve found it hard to not fall into, ‘well, they’re not doing it so why should I?’ But what I’m discovering is that it’s really beautiful to be responsible, and that’s a loveliness that’s not dependent on what people are doing around me. How freeing.
‘Do what I say not what I do’, that is what I got back whenever I questioned the lack of consistency in the message or the lack of role model. Looking back I am quite impressed with myself for asking – clearly, I must have pointed out the lack of integrity in the instruction to have got that reply! So now I am older, an adult and parent myself, I must walk the talk and ensure I do not ask another to do what I am not walking myself.
When someone comes into our life who lives the truth of everything that they present it is the most life changing reflection we could ever be presented with. But of course whether we acknowledge what we are being presented with and then act on it is entirely up to us; it is our choice as to what happens next but as you discovered Mary-Louise, what happens next can be miraculous in every way.
It made me laugh the extent we will go to, just to get out of doing things we don’t want to do. And we are so wily at such a young age! I was struck by the importance of role models in this blog. I know I can say things repeatedly and get no response. Yet when someone lives absolute energetic responsibility, every cell in your body is listening and wants to align with the responsibility they live. They only have to say it once and you know exactly what they mean.
Your blog is so honest Mary-Louise, and how powerful was your meeting with Serge Benhayon that you made a choice to change the way you were living in total disregard to yourself and others. To the amazing confident hard working woman you are today. It is so inspiring because quite frankly if you can make the changes then anyone can, it’s all down to a choice and then commitment to the choices constantly made.
The responsibility of being true role models in the world can be clearly seen here and the difference this can make to our lives and that of others by the way we live . A real inspiration and knowing of what the word responsibility is but also showing how this has been changed to something we rebel against and not lived instead of fully embracing into our lives and the joy and contentment this allows.
Responsibility is deeply empowering when we allow ourselves to feel the strength and leadership it offers us. I can very much relate to how you felt as a child seeing the parents going crazy, yet telling the kids to behave responsibly- it simply doesn’t inspire at all to have this contradiction yet so many of us grew up with this. I am so glad that even after living irresponsibility for decades you were simply able to find your way back to living responsibly, and confirm in your own life the power of this. I love how the shift occurred in your life because you could see that Serge lives responsibility to the core.
I love the feeling you are sharing when I read the willingness ‘to give it ago’. Coupled by the fact that you are saying yes to a level of responsibility that is still to be fully revealed. This is developing trust in ourselves, that we truly know what it is we are called to do that supports everyone, and we don’t need to hide any longer to stay safe. It is much safer to claim ourselves and live all we are, as we are then the authorities of our own lives and not at the whim of reactions.
How can we expect or even hope for people and societies to change for the better when we are not the ones living first the true good we want everyone to have and live?!
Yes, we need to start with ourselves, that is what makes it seemingly difficult to implement change as that is where the resistance lies.
You make some really important points Mary-Louise around responsibility and how often parents are asking this of their kids yet living totally irresponsible lives themselves offering no true reflection for others to be inspired by. That’s what I love about Serge Benhayon that everything he presents on he lives and how powerful his reflection is that constantly ignites and supports us to be more of who we truly are.
There can be enormous force in holding back from others when we react to the lovelessness around us. I understand now that rebellious hurts me just as much as others and just a outward form of resistance.
Our version of responsibility that we so easily accept really doesn’t sell it very well, and because of this we have this feeling of being burdened or inundated with stuff that we instantly feel we cannot cope with, hence, avoiding it generally as the rule. But when you feel into true responsibility as you share here Mary-Louise, you feel great joy in choosing to be responsible for you and your choices because you can feel, it’s not only for us.
I can remember when I was younger and that I didn’t want to own up or admit that I did something that is irresponsible. The shame and disgrace that I would go into and simply just not wanting to be exposed. Today I have been more loving with myself and when something that I choose was totally off and not responsible I can lovingly say to myself ‘ok thats not it, why did I choose this and the next moment I can choose something different.’ Giving ourselves the grace to learn and to be honest as to what got to that point where choosing irresponsibility came from a series of disconnecting and dishonouring.
“Even though at times I am not sure what exactly is being asked of me, I’m prepared to give it a go whether that be a shift in the quality in which I approach life, or specifically with a job or project that asks for greater responsibility.” I have been in the presence of this in action and you have truly inspired me as a result of this.
“We often did not listen to them as there was no ‘role-modelling’ of what taking responsibility really looked like.” Ouch! Good point about truly parenting our children or not!
Deep within we all crave responsibility. Yet we’ve been sold a heavy weighed down version of it as it is not often we see responsibility modelled in it’s truest sense.
A great reminder of how everything that comes from us, the words we speak, the way we move and interact in life is so hugely important and has a definitive effect on all around us.
Your blog is a perfect explanation on what a true role-model is – a quality that can only be felt by others if it is truly lived.
And this inspires me to put aside words if I am unsure about something and simply put things into practise… it is here that I learn.
Even when we feel we are not making a difference by living responsibly, there is a subtle and deeper change taking place both within our own livingness and the response that we receive from others.
Mary-Louise I so loved this blog. It describes so many elements of my childhood and the repercussion of it, all of which are reflected in our community on a grander scale. The more true responsibility I take, the more fulfilling my life becomes.
‘We often did not listen to them as there was no ‘role-modelling’ of what taking responsibility really looked like.’ A very powerful and also sobering sentence well worth considering when we look at how we are choosing to live.
The ‘do as I say not as I do’ approach doesn’t work and yet where in the world are we taught the extent to which we lead by pur lived way? Only Universal Medicine has gone into such detail on this subject that I’ve experienced.
This is so true Leigh and how amazing it would be if the extent of this was taught from a young age.
This is amazing and it just goes to show that we do not need to stuck in patterns, perceptions and ways of being, and that there is always a choice – no matter ones age or length of time they have been doing one thing.
‘Nearly fifteen years later, the way I live has changed beyond recognition from my earlier life,’
Yes, it is a fallacy to say we get too old to change. This is an excuse for not wanting to take responsibility.
It seems to be quite common to say it’s too late to change, it feels like a sentence that it full of regret.
“But I am so onto this pattern, which is to think it is “too hard” and that “I cannot do it,” that the awareness I have developed around it means I do not give in to it.”
I can relate to your honesty here Mary-Louise, we can feel that greater responsibility is a package that has a ripple effect through every aspect of our lives, the mind can work hard to create expectations & issues that sit in the way of this potential change. I have found that it is easier to cease this chatter by bringing our awareness to our bodies and gently releasing any anxiety or tension we may feel there first, for ‘yes’ needs to be a full bodied experience.
Beautiful lucindag, staying present and feeling what is coming up in our body and releasing what is there to let go of is simply all that is needed…. closing the door on the ‘what-if’ chatter.
Someone sharing a value with us through the way that they live in a consistent way is truly inspiring.
And it’s the most effective. Seeing and feeling something lived speaks more than words ever can. Movement is communication – one than needs to be understood and recognised more for the science it is.
Yes it is truly inspiring as they are true role models, you can see them, and feel their energy, how they communicate and move. It is beautiful.
Serge Benhayon’s presentations blow out of the water what we previously thought responsibility was. Energetic responsibility is a different ball game, but in truth it’s not new. We do actually know how to play it but have chosen to avoid looking at it. As a result, we have reaped the consequences worldwide with our choices, actions and behaviour…this may take a long while to correct!
So true, the responsibility we step away from in our own homes contributes to the irresponsibility and consequences of such in the world. We find it much easier to sit in our homes and complain about the state of the world than to look at how we could be contributing to that but not addressing all the little ways we try to get out of things or hide in our own lives. This awareness is a grand opportunity.
Mary-Louise, I can feel with what you are sharing here that often as parents we tell our children what to do and how to be when we are not living in a true, loving and responsible way ourselves, ‘We often did not listen to them as there was no ‘role-modelling’ of what taking responsibility really looked like’, I am aware that I can focus on my sons behaviour when I am not living what I am telling him to live and that living it first and being a role model is key.
The power of reflection from a lived way is far greater than any words can muster.
We all know deep inside what it means to take responsibility, to respect ourselves and one another, but for so many of us we have wandered off the track and think that talking about it is enough. When we meet someone who has put the knowing into practice 24/7, from the way they brush their teeth, interact with the kids and run their business, one constant expression of love and respect, it instantly calls us back to our true path. Then we are faced with the simple choice, to align to what is innate within us and do the necessary leg work to get back on track, or reject it outright because it exposes too many wayward choices.
So true, Rowena, It is all the little things that make the difference and builds our rhythm and our choices from morning to evening every day to develop us to take responsibility from one day to the next ..or not. It is our simple choice to choose to align.
True we do all know deep within about true responsibility and when we adhere to what level our body is asking for it it thanks us. However, it is a reality that with the reflection around us as we grow up we can take a version of what Being responsibility is and for some they grow up without much of a reflection. With or without true reflection of responsibility though our body constantly tells us if it’s true and right for us by either feeling truly settled and content or we feel a tension of knowing there’s something more. This is the gift of our bodies and particles within- always communicating the truth to us no matter how we treat our bodies or how we are being treated. We all have our own inner gauge.
For most of us we avoid responsibility so its lovely to read that “The embracing of what true responsibility is brings great joy into my life” it shines a new light on what responsibility is and the potential of the joy that it brings.
Very true DN, very true!
The thing about words and talking about this kind of stuff is that so many of the words have been bastardised, twisted and bent out of shape. On top of which we all interpret them differently. So, if you asked ten different people what they felt true responsibility was, then you’d get ten surprisingly different answers. Thus you can see the problem if this stuff is just talked about. However, if it is lived…then there is no debate, no grey area, we all get to see exactly what it is. That is the power and inspiration of a lived expression rather than a spoken one.
Words that are not backed up by a lived foundation have no power to them. In our house we call them ‘white noise’ and both I am guilty of speaking ‘white noise’ to our children. The best way to teach or inspire anyone to do anything is to live it, in absolute fullness, ourselves, so they can see and feel it rather than it just being empty words.
You are certainly a role model and inspiration to me. 🌹
If we do not live the quality of what we speak… are we not just politicians or used car salesmen?
This is beautiful Mary-Louise, you are a wonderful, gorgeous role model to me. I love the steps you have taken to be truly responsible by being open and willing to change past behaviours, not holding onto blaming anyone else for your past choices but by understanding that others are also a product of their role models. So many will continue to blame things that have happened in there life as to why they do what they do now, instead of accepting that they don’t need to hold onto these hurts and by choosing to deal with them they can change what may sometimes be entrenched patterns and release themselves from its confining ways. It is never to late to take true responsibility for our actions and open up to living a more true self-responsible and joyous life.
‘Mothering’ people can be an unloving act because it doesn’t allow for them to take responsibility for their own lives and for their environment. Everyone needs to play an equal part in the house they live in, in terms of cleaning, cooking, clearing up and taking energetic responsibility for how they are in all of those tasks.
When there is an expectation of responsibility from someone then it will only inspire another to be responsible if they can see and feel that person is truly living responsibility themselves. We can feel when another isn’t living what they espouse, we feel the lie in the empty words. It is the truth of a living way that inspires others.
It is the responsibility for how we are in what we do that isn’t taught, but we are to conform to the norms which is seen as taking responsibility.
Expectations are so imposing… “…the list of expectations my parents had of me was endless.” They are a picture, an ideal or belief that another has that they then expect another to perform, and when that picture or ideal/belief isn’t met then there is complete reaction… but in this whole process the other person isn’t being seen or felt for who they are and what they can offer – it is all about the person who has the expectation, hence the imposition this creates. It is no wonder the person being imposed upon often rebels because they are not being considered at all.
Responsibility is something that usually comes up when we did something wrong and was followed with punishment of some kind and so the true understanding never really happened and was always viewed with resentment. Somehow it also got enmeshed with ‘being a good girl’ and once again it’s true quality and love of self and others was skewed. Today ‘True Energetic Responsibility’ is something I am re-visiting everyday and its depth of meaning is still unfolding. Honesty, openness and commitment which I believed I had in bucket loads are slowly being re-imprinted and expanded and it is through Serge Benhayon that I say ‘Thank You’ for facilitating my return to who I truly am.
When we are told to take responsibility it is usually associate with a task or project but never about how we live has an effect on every single particle, proton, neutron and electron on this earth and far beyond.
Being screamed at to take responsibility from a body who does not live it does nothing to support anyone with responsibility. Being responsible and saying nothing has far more impact. It is not our words that matter, but our reflection. Thanks for sharing Mary-Louise, it’s a beautiful story.
I find it curious that the feeling of ‘this is too hard’ or ‘I can’t do this’ keeps coming up again and again. I wonder where it comes from.
Love and responsibility are one and the same thing so to take responsibility for ourselves in life is to deeply love and cherish ourselves and others. Imagine if taking responsibility was presented to us like that? We would all want it.
Like with many words and things we have watered down or completely bastardised their meaning. Empty words can be used by empty people and they can feel comfortable with it. But what happens when ‘full’ words are used by someone fully living their meaning? The emptiness gets exposed and challenged and often resisted and or rejected.
How is it that as young people we try to avoid taking responsibility and even do a lot to leave responsibility to others. I’ve certainly been part of these kind of people. And now later in life I feel I’ve tried for the last 15 years or so to make up for what I didn’t do in the past. But this comes from shame instead of a claimed loving responsibility for first and foremost myself and from that in all the things that I do. Whatever I do, I’m part of a collective of people. Whether this being at home, at work or with family or friends, I’m always part of a collective. It’s up to me to be ‘in the collective’ connected to my love or to ‘just’ live by and ‘be’ there in a given up state (as most of us are in our modern society, sad but true).
It would be more honest to not ask something from another that we ourselves are not living and it would be also more revealing for us all where things simply do not work and we would become more aware that they cannot work if we do not really live them.
We so like to avoid responsibility don’t we, that it really is quite something to see that instead of being a burden, it became the opposite with the greater responsibility you took and your life became more fulfilled.
We are all role models in life. Sometimes I role model very consciously knowing that it’s being observed, and sometimes not really aware that I’ve been clocked, but this really does bring home the point that we never stop being a role model and this is where the responsibility lays, that even when we are not seen, that quality comes into the next moment where we will be seen, clocked, observed.
Being told what to do or living from knowledge is very different from the reflection Serge Benhayon lives and brings.
The resistance to being responsible is futile. There is only one way forward and that is to honour the responsibility we each have in our power.
Adults are no different to your children except our tantrums can be much more hidden, seemingly. It is important that we address our reactions to life, otherwise we miss out on the simple joy of just being with ourselves.
When we choose to blame our upbringing or others in our lives, there is no way we want to look at our part in the equation and take responsibility because then we have to admit that we have got it all wrong and our pride wont let us do that easily. It’s not until the wheels start falling off more and more that we may choose to look at our lives and start to make changes.
I used to rebel a lot too… but it just goes to show how much we know and feel and yet still over ride. We have to know what is right in the first place to be able to resist and not want to be responsible. Just makes me realise how much we know and how often I have played dumb!
Mary-Louise you make such an interesting point here about how as kids we know what true responsibility is. And how people can do things to look responsible but it comes down to how we are living first. It is great to bring this up and start to talk about the difference of putting on a face vs truly living it – and Serge Benhayon is one such person who walks it and talks it – and people feel this from him – he does not need to prove it. That is a true role model.
I wonder whether teenage rebellion would be a thing of the past if we all had and could be the role models everyone needs by getting away from do as I say not what I do mentality and all take a lot more responsibility with what we do, say and think.
Responsibly has always best been expressed and learned from seeing it lived by another!
I have often said no to an opportunity in life on the basis that I am not ready to deal with that level of responsibility. Mary-Louise shares a different perspective on this which offers us the possibility that we can say yes even if we cannot see how we will do something. I find myself exploring the possibility that it is not about being ready in terms of knowing we can take something on, but in terms of willingness to do so – and when we are willing, the how to do it is presented to us.
We seem to fight responsibility as children and as adults when it is the very thing that brings us joy and vitality.
“… and not caring about the effect my behaviour was having on any of my family and friends.” This was a biggie for me too Mary Louise. Realising the real effect of my tantrums on others was very painful, but hugely enlightening and hence supported me to go deeper, take responsibility and stop dumping my issues on everyone else. What a relief for all concerned!
‘Even though at times I am not sure what exactly is being asked of me, I’m prepared to give it a go’. I agree Mary-Louise, the very next level of responsibility is a constant. To see where it would lead, before it happens would spoil the fun of it. The essence is to trust the process as an unfolding, all revealed in the fullness to time, often in ways we would never have imagined.
“…the more true responsibility I take, the more fulfilling my life becomes…” This statement is extraordinary as it completely turns up-side-down, the idea that having more responsibility is a loaded burden – instead, reading your blog, you can feel that taking responsibility gives one purpose and inspiration with what life has to offer.
The call to responsibility is only truly inspiring from another who is already committed and living this way.
We are mostly unaware that every movement we make is being reflected to others.We are all role models and mirrors for each other and if we were to be aware of this in every moment we would take full responsibility for our behaviour and not allow ourselves to perpetuate abusive behaviour in any form. Why is is that we conveniently forget this at times?
That is an excellent point – just how much we affect others and how much we are affected by others.
I am aware of this. Absolutely. As I have been taught it and shown it many, many times and yet whilst I know it, I still actively and consciously choose to forget it or not put that knowing into action. And that is where responsibility comes in. So the question for me is more – am I prepared to live to that level of detail, to live for all of humanity, for the big picture and for evolution? If I say yes to this, the responsibility comes naturally.
You often see how we can take on patterns of what we see and experience around us and because this is what we see we don’t always question it. It does make sense that those who grew up in the war lived in a way that had a focus on survival. Then when we see a reflection of someone living more than this it opens us up to consider that there can be another way and more to life- that there is a richness in life to be enjoyed. There is much we can learn from and reflect to each other and we need role models in our communities living in a way that inspires us.
It is very easy to blame our parents for how we turn out, but from a very early age we have been able to make choices about how we express in the world. As adults we have even more choice, and it is so helpful when we have role models like Mary-Louise who can show us how simple life can be and how we can choose a different way.
Carmel that is so true, its how I used to run my life my world, yet in that I give away all the power I have to choose my next steps. Without taking true responsibility for the practical and energetic way that I live and lived then we miss out on evolving ourselves and inspiring others.
Yes, Mary-Louise. We can seem very successful and influential in the community and have the most disastrous home life. Serge Benhayon has taught from day one that a true role model lives responsibly with every word and movement, knowing the ripple effect on absolutely everyone and everything.
Sometimes we need to see someone living, what deep down we know or hope to be possible and true so that we dare to do it ourselves. And sometimes it is us who gives such reflection and inspires someone else. Giving up runs deep in most people from all the hurts, disappointments and failed attempts we carry, not realising that we have set ourselves up for it, so when we get to see the real deal we are either inspired or jealous – that is up to us.
It’s so often that we rebel to words which have no integrity or lived truth behind them.
‘I am constantly looking at ways to deepen this responsibility, and interestingly, whenever the next level is offered I find myself at first resistant. But I am so onto this pattern, which is to think it is “too hard” and that “I cannot do it,” that the awareness I have developed around it means I do not give in to it.’ – I agree, with a true commitment to self-awareness we can break the patterns and behaviours that we have been so deeply ingrained in.
You bring a great point Mary Louise. Taking true responsibility is not simply getting jobs done and the ticking of boxes. Responsibility in purpose, intention and care brings quality’ into account – and this is the most important aspect – energetic integrity and responsibility.
What a great example that children watch and observe everything. We may think we have done our bit by saying the right words, but that is not all that they receive from us and that will not be all that they will remember.
What we need to realise is that we are all role models for someone. The important thing to consider is what type of role model are you… will you inspire others to also be positive role models, or will your role modeling encourage and perpetuate irresponsibility?
“I can deeply appreciate that I am now able to be a role model to others with an understanding that I did not have growing up.” Very inspiring Mary-Louise… it is never too late to make positive changes in our lives which can benefit many others.
Thank you Mary-Louise for a great sharing and reminding us that we too are all growing and are not perfect. I was given a lot of responsibility in my very early teens as were other family members. I know there were times when I wanted to be irresponsible just for the normality of it! I have shied away from taking on responsibility in some areas of my life also but recognise how important it is to be part of the whole working together with others.
Taking responsibility for things we should not as children is equally irresponsible, for we do not allow others to step up for themselves.
When we realise we are in every moment a role model, it shifts our understanding of responsibility.
Mary Louise, you are and have been an amazing role model for me in taking responsibility in so many ways. I have been so inspired by you over the years because you have lived so much that I have and really understand, not from knowledge, but because you have actually lived it and healed it yourself.
I totally agree with you Rosie Mary-Louise is a huge inspiration for us all going forward. Mary Louise has turned her life around 360 degrees and if she can do it then so can I.
and from her inspiration, we are changing our lives and are in turn, inspiring others…. and at times I even inspired Mary Louise, so we are all here to share, learn and inspire each other.
I agree Ariana – how many murders, paedophiles, abusers turn up to work or walk on the streets and put out the perfect picture of responsibility and a ‘normal’ person – and as a collective society, because individually the only level of responsibility we are willing to consider and sometimes take is the very temporal and often superficial kind. We can look at them, see the clean veneer and be satisfied, without every stopping to look closer at what is underneath because if we did, so to would we have to look closer at ourselves
Words are only words and can be empty, meaningless or even come to mean the complete opposite of their original meaning, if they do not come backed up with actions or a living way. In this way perhaps this is how words get twisted or reinterpreted in their meaning, or degraded over time and then we end up giving up on a word or even fighting it, because we can sense the lack of truth in it. When someone comes along and speaks and lives the original meaning of the word and rebuilds that trust in a word like responsibility it is truly deeply healing and restoring.
Children model their behaviour on that of their parents. I learned from my mother to consider the interests and needs of others before myself. She could not teach me to be responsible and self honouring, without an awareness this choice was open to her and could not live it herself. Her instinct for brotherhood, was incomplete so far as she dis-regarded herself. A pattern I became aware of in myself when I met Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
An inspiring blog Marie-Louise – as we make different choices, even the most irresponsible of our behaviours can be changed and healed leading to a life lived in a consistent, responsible and true way, not just bettering things on the surface.
There is a rather typical image of responsibility in this blog – the father who was very good at business and the mother very good on committees – and yet it was not present in all areas of their lives. Do we like to appear responsible, presenting a picture of responsibility to the world so we get acceptance and recognition – but when the eyes of the world are averted, we drop the charade and our less than responsible ways kick in? This is a misinterpretation of responsibility which can never in truth be partial or applied when we feel like it. Responsibility is a constant….responsibility!
“We often did not listen to them as there was no ‘role-modelling’ of what taking responsibility really looked like.” Your experience here Mary-Louise simply emphasises that being told what to do by someone who does not live it themselves has no traction and words alone are not enough. We learn by living examples because we receive information through all our senses, so that seeing, feeling, smelling and hearing the truth from someone who lives it 24/7 is an education that seeps into every part of our bodies, innately calling us back to our real purpose and responsibility in life.
The more I take responsibility for myself and my actions during a day, the more I am able to come home and feel the day is complete, with no niggling worries of things left undealt with.
When we start to say ‘yes’ to life and that I can do it, life becomes less of a battle and more of an unfolding. If we then can’t do something or we need some help to get it done then, that’s OK because we were at least willing to give it a go.
‘…not caring about the effect my behavior was having on any of my family and friends.’ – This line stood out for me – how come we don’t learn already as children that our behaviours actually affect everyone around us equally? This makes so much sense and yet we seem to live as if we are totally oblivious about it.
“We often did not listen to them as there was no ‘role-modelling’ of what taking responsibility really looked like.” – it’s the ‘do as I say, not as I do’ that kids and adults see through. The words may sound ok, but we can all feel if there is any truth in what is being said.
Like you share Mary-Louise, I also was raised in the belief that responsibility is to do certain things however I was never taught that to take responsibility is to do those things in a certain quality which equals the quality of who I am concerning my essence so to speak to connect to my essence first.
When we take responsibility for our choices and actions, there is a quiet roar that will always be felt rather than heard.
I feel the challenge for me in truly taking responsibility for my behaviour is not so much to do with my willingness to do so, rather, the livingness of it, the choice to consistently to do so in every moment.
We are all role models to every single person on this planet. The question to ask ourselves is what role model are you?
What I’m noticing is that when someone isn’t taking responsibility for their part in life they ask others to do it for them and often get irritated, blame when whatever responsibility it is isn’t addressed adn the consequences are felt. We innately know that when a responsibility isn’t being taken care of an imbalance occurs that affects us all. When I am doing my part from a knowing that it is for everyone’s benefit equally and it is done from love, I don’t have the high levels of frustration I do when I see other people not doing their part. Essentially I don’t like to be reminded I’m harming myself and others when I am ignoring my contribution and my frustration is with me.
Really the simplest thing is to do whatever it is I’m trying to get someone else to do for me. So, for example, love myself – which no-body can do that for me anyways. So, just make a choice to love myself and resolve to deal with whatever comes up that gets in the way,
Thank you for your understanding of responsibility and how it is never ending, that there is always more. This is also my own experience and also giving myself the space to go to each new level in my own time, but with the awareness that if I choose to delay, it impacts everybody around me.
“We often did not listen to them as there was no ‘role-modelling’ of what taking responsibility really looked like.” This explains very clearly why so many children grow up with no sense of true responsibility as they are more likely to copy their parents, carers or teachers than pay attention to what is said as the words are empty and meaningless when a child does not see the behaviours being followed through in the adult.
I find it is also very responsible to be love, to receive love and to have fun.
Women in the kitchen doing all the chores is an outdated image of domestic life, especially as many women now have careers of their own and are juggling family, house and work. Sharing chores is great, but sometimes we have to ask for help directly, as giving hints is not clear enough communication.
I see a lot of young people in society today behaving irresponsibly but could it be that the older people have not been sufficiently responsible role models to the young ones to follow? We can be quick to blame the youngsters of today for their behaviour, but slower to understand the reasons most of us need a wake up call for true responsibility.
I’ve often wondered how parents that swear like troopers, have the audacity to reprimand their kids if they let a bad word slip. If we don’t want our kids to swear then we shouldn’t do it ourselves. We all need role models or mentors that walk the walk.
We know that children learn the most through what they observe and what they hear, and yet we dont really stop and consider what it is that others are seeing when they watch us, because adults are no less watchful and observant than children.
If I disconnect, chances are almost 100% that the person(s) I’m connecting to, also disconnect / contract / measure. We’re looking at each other in a way that is very precise, meticulous even. I am discovering how much power I bring when I am ‘just’ with me. This power is first and foremost a holding energy, a connection and not something I do. Being responsible for my behaviour starts with being responsible for the quality of the connection with my inner-heart and body. How different is this from everything I’ve learnt for the first 30 years of my life. Thank you God for Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine to role-model what we so needed, a truly responsible way of living based on ‘being’ first.
Leading by example is the best way to parent. In other words, children are clocking every movement we make – their awareness is sharp and high and they can not be fooled by empty words that are coming from a body that is not living them.
This article makes so much sense. I love responsibility – always have – but in the chaos that was my upbringing, I mutated responsibility into control and manipulation. As for you, Mary-Louise, meeting Serge Benhayon was a turning point of great significance in my life and I am building back my relationship with true responsibility.
Matilda I love how we all have different ways we used to have a relationship with responsibility, loving it, hating it, then doing our own thing or being controlling – all of these then get united as we come to understand true responsibility and with that there is no difference between people and responsibility. It’s bringing back the real truth of responsibility.
Our behaviours don’t make us who we are, but are there for a reason which as we understand supports us to grow and be more understanding with others.
‘Do as I say and not do as I do’ is an adage often used with children – I remember hearing it and wondering why I was being asked to stay quiet at the table with my hands in plain sight (and apparently not under the table). And thus we pass on the irresponsibility, the signal that to do as one says but not as one exemplifies through their behaviour is pinged with the same disdain I pinged food across the table when no one was watching, rebelling at the behaviour and assuming that being irresponsible was actually OK..
I agree, Mary-Louise – “the more true responsibility I take, the more fulfilling my life becomes.” I have observed you blossom and become more joyful over the years, as you open your heart and deepen your sense of responsibility in all aspects of life.
I have observed you from afar Mary Louise, going from someone who was shy, held back and completely withdrawn to someone who is sparkling, ever-glowing and truly inspirational beyond words. I find this change to be a true miracle and has inspired myself to make true changes in my own life too
An amazing and miraculous snap shot of life, from 30 plus years of “taking copious amounts of drugs and alcohol, not working, living off the dole and not caring about the effect my behavior was having on any of my family and friends” to the understanding and lived experience that “The embracing of what true responsibility is brings great joy into my life and I can deeply appreciate that I am now able to be a role model to others”.
‘We often did not listen to them as there was no ‘role-modelling’ of what taking responsibility really looked like.’ I am learning that the most powerful teacher is not through words necessarily, but through simply being a presence in the room that someone can observe and feel. The quality of that presence can inspire beyond words and supports another to understand by reflection and contrast what their own choices have been. The most powerful learning moments for me have been silently observing others in this way as through them I have been empowered to make different choices.
What a great deal of time we waste attempting to evade our responsibilities, which when we really connect to what this really means and the powerful effect it has on our lives, seems totally ridiculous. We spend so much time backing away from the very thing we are longing to re-connect with.
Energetic responsibility embraces all of life and reflected in every movement.
Mary-Louise what you share shows just how possible it is to change our lives, turn them around and truly heal. It’s also great to be reminded that it is those things we avoid or can put down as being “too hard” that actually help us evolve the fastest. When we deal with what is in front of us, knowing we are fully equipped to deal with it by virtue of it being there then our relationship with what is next I feel has the potential to completely change. I know for me if I start resisting that then comes in the problems, that were never there in the first place.
I love this too Jane. responsibility never ends. The moment we ‘get it in one area’ another presents itself and offers an opportunity to be responsible in new ways.
I remember as a child, how my parents shared household tasks between my brothers and myself. We knew what to do and when (a rota to stop arguments). We were responsible for certain jobs around the house and just did them, no big deal. Had my parents had the awareness to model responsibility not just in relation to household tasks but every area of life, I may not have chosen the merry-go-round of irresponsible living.
Beautiful Mary-Louise, it makes a huge difference to be in the presence of someone who lives and breathes responsibly. We learn from their lived way, not words they speak. And as you say we are called to offer the same to others.
responsibility is taught as tidying up our parts, making things look good, coinciding with guidelines like being on time, completing work, being presentable and satisfying etc.. true responsibility is also joy and choosing to be all that we are.
Following the rules is often seen as being responsible but to do this without discernment can lead to devastating consequences. Germany in the 1930s is an obvious example but there are lots of other examples.
You mention that you were an obnoxious brat growing up. And I wonder if that was because you were seeking attention and you felt the only way you could get any kind of attention was to behave in a negative manner. I observed this quite a lot with young children when they wanted to be noticed by their parents if the parents were preoccupied by other things and ignored their child, then the child became very artful in finding negative ways that would immediately grab the parents whole attention, because negative attention was better than no attention and being totally ignored.
As we may all know some people that where the role models to our lives and therefore we do understand the importance of having these in our surroundings. Therefore it is so great if we become aware of the fact that we too are role models for others and that to me brings a responsibility to life that in fact not feels as a burden but actually as a joy to take and to be a normality in life and in a way I show my love to all the people I am with.
What a great example of how the choices we have made in past are never set in stone!
Maybe one of the reasons we react when we’re asked to take responsibility is deep down we all know how to live with responsibility in our lives, so being asked to do so is the same as being told you’re being irresponsible, which we also know, but this is the way we are choosing to be, we are actually angry at our selves from the hurt we feel for making this choice, when we know a much more loving way to be, whether it’s being reflected to us in that moment or not.
‘We often did not listen to them as there was no ‘role-modelling’ of what taking responsibility really looked like. Yes, if we are contradictory in our lives and do not live up to what we say is what you must do, this does not inspire others to do likewise. This also can be detrimental to young and influential ones, who are looking to the adults for guidance and support through life, and are unlikey to have been taught to listen to their own inner wisdom and trust in that.
Being told to take responsibility is very different to being shown how to take responsibility. We are much more likely to respond to role models who walk their talk because we can feel the truth in their expression from the way they live and the power of their livingness is transferred through every word and expression they share with the world.
I agree Chan Ly, in fact being shown how to do something simply by example is so much more powerful than being told to do anything. When we tell someone to do something it can often feel like an imposition as it comes with our own timing, our own beliefs and our own ideals. Having said that, as the mother of a teenager there are many times where straight instruction is the only thing that works! Modelling a tidy bedroom has no effect what so ever on a fifteen year old.
Completely agree Chanly. Also when we understand why we need to take responsibility, it is then something’s that makes sense and feels very natural and supportive. Instead of ‘ rebel and take as little responsibility as I could.’ Which just exposed the lie of the way this word is used in society today. Responsibility must be Energetic Responsibility simply because everything is energy first whether we choose to be aware of it or not.
Hence the illusion is exposed that only what has been given to you at birth, childhood, is that level of truth or responsibility you can life. No. As this blog clearly shows us is that we can either take ourselves to commit in life to our responsibility (in whatever way shape or form is required from each person) or disengage in life (with the multiple types of outcomes). I must say that the commitment you chosen to be engaging in life and claiming your responsibility feels so much more real and truly benefiting, not just for the sake of myself or you, but for all people.
We are here to commit our whole to the whole and as far from this as we are currently choosing to live, the fact still remains that this is our natural living way.
We are from the whole, a universal multidimensional way of being that has love as its foundation – and to be with that is our most natural way of being.
A refreshing view in a world that is caught permanently in the blame game.
I love reading your story Mary-Louise because it shows that we are all highly sensitive beings and if there is a lack of love and care, we have to find a way to deal with the enormous hurt we feel around that. Yours was to go into drugs, alcohol and dropping out whereas someone else may go into excessive work or sport to deal with it. It is all the same at the end of the day – a way of not feeling the lack of love at home as children.
“One of my behaviours was to sit on the toilet each night after dinner until the dishes had been done.” I chuckled at this Mary-Louise as I can remember doing simialr things as I was growing up. But these seemingly small acts of avoidance can and do lead to more significant ways that we find to avoid being responsible. It wasn’t until I met Serge Benhayon that I started to become aware of the lack of responsibility that I had had for myself, and I realised that in order for my life to change I had to take this on board and make different choices as to how I was living. It is a forever deepening and ongoing process.
Telling children to clean their room, wash dishes, etc from a place of ‘just do it’ makes them either rebel and find ways to not do it, or confirm and just go along with things to keep the peace. Neither way is a true way of relating. And if the child feels that what is being asked of them, is not being lived by the parent or other adult, then they feel this lack of integrity and congruency and go into the rebelling or non-conforming.
True responsibility for me is having the guts to be honest and open to admit my own contributions towards non-loving situations. I’ve been quite blaming of others and it’s so lovely and freeing that life doesn’t have to be like this. There’s no wrong or right, there’s just what is presented and it’s up to me how to respond to each and every situation. The more responsibility I take for myself, the clearer I am, the ‘easier’ it is to not react emotionally to situations. How beautiful would it be if we would develop a way of living and relating together where we all take responsibility for ourselves AND that everybody contributes their innate qualities to support each other? We are able to, but are we making the choice? Appreciation leads to so much more understanding and connection than being strict, conservative and trying to be perfect.
‘my relationship with responsibility has changed immensely from one of thinking it was a ‘burden’ to one of seeing that the more true responsibility I take, the more fulfilling my life becomes.’ – Beautifully said Mary-Louise – how crazy is it that so many of us grow up with the understanding that responsibility is a burden and something that we try to avoid.
What most people perceive to be ‘responsibility’ can actually be the very thing that stands in the way of them truly being responsible. I know that in the past I have got to work and worked hard and fast so that I got lots done and helped others out by doing so much. I rushed through all of my tasks, moving in a quick and disconnected way. I held firm to the picture of being a responsible worker but now when I look back I realise that I left a trail of disturbed air behind me wherever I went and as I was working with intellectually disabled children at the time, goodness knows what effect I had on them at the time!
It is good when children are encouraged to take part in the running of the household so it becomes normal
This blog and especially lines like this -“the embracing of what true responsibility is brings great joy into my life “, are turning the current meaning of responsibility on its head. Many people view the big R word as a drag, and here you describe it is a joy. Sing it from the roof tops sister, or well really, just keep living it as you are, as the world needs to see more people like you.
It was not until I came across the work of Serge Benhayon that I too came to understand what responsibility was all about. I used to think it was about carrying everyone’s problems on my shoulders. Once I realized that this was a false sense of responsibility and not only that but a completely irresponsible way to live all the extra weight that I was carrying fell off and I realized that responsibility is not a burden but an absolutely joyful way to live. Responsibility equals love.
Imagine growing up and all those around you reflected a true role model – people who walked their talk so to speak. It is all well and good wanting our children to grow up to be respectful, to not drink and do drugs and be responsible, but how much for those things are we willing to live ourselves and reflect back to them?
It feels awesome to begin to understand the true meaning of responsibility and to feel that it is a joy and not a burden. For so long it felt like a very heavy word that was loaded and now I realise that this is not so – it just means that when we fully embrace responsibility we can feel a part of the whole as we all come together and share.
Very true Mary-Louise, there is very little role modeling of what true responsibility looks like. However we have Serge Benhayon and the Benhayon family here reflecting what true responsibility looks like, and what that responsibility looks like in family life.
There is a big difference between being told to take responsibility and being shown how to take responsibility.
Inspired by someone’s lived way rather than words preached with no back up in example or reflection. I agree, Michael.
Energetic responsibility is an amazing thing – and I am still learning, being challenged by and accepting lessons in life based on it. This type of responsibility also helps to explain others’ behaviour and actions and so often I have learned that the reactions of others is merely a reflection of my own. Which brings it right back to my life – to live with integrity and responsibility.
There are so many levels to energetic responsibility, our movements, our actions, our level of engagement in life and with people.
Your sharing is an excellent example of the importance of having true role-models.
“coming from a man who was actually living what he presented, this had a huge impact on me’ We often don’t get to find out how presenters live in their day to day lives but we get a feeling for that. Some times, in fact many times, I have felt this disparity which has then been confirmed later. Sometimes I have not wanted to see it and made excuses or justifications for people. I have been going to presentations by Serge Benhayon for 12 years and his level of energetic integrity has deepened as he continues to inspire from the way he actually lives, from The Way of The Livingness.
Mary-Louise, you are indeed an incredible role model to everyone young and old, because you embrace responsibility in earnest and from a love that sees all equal and divine.
‘I lived this way on and off for the next 30 years until I met Serge Benhayon and heard him present on energetic responsibility, and coming from a man who was actually living what he presented, this had a huge impact on me.’ The power in what Serge presents is enormous as he only ever presents what he has lived or knows from his Livingness however this power is in everyone when they also present or offer a reflection from what they are also living.
Serge Benhayon has helped many people stop the repeating cycles of abuse that carry on through generations. Because if one person truly understands, feels and sees the momentum they and their family have lived in as you have and not only that make the changes needed to be more responsible, to end the cycle of abuse then it does truly start to end and instead a life of true love, joy, well-being, vitality, commitment and responsibility then starts to be lived .. although this is always unfolding and never about perfection.
What you demonstrate so clearly here, Marie-Louise, is that it is not by words that we teach and learn but by example. That is why Serge Benhayon is such a great and profound teacher – he teaches from and by example.
Hear hear Jstewart51, a true teacher never tells people what to do but lead by example and allows space for the students to embrace the answers in their own time. Serge Benhayon is a true teacher through and through, leading by example and showing the world what it looks like to fully take responsibility with absolute love and dedication.
I agree Jstewart, he also empowers us to know that we actually already know the answers to our questions, but we allow ‘things’, that don’t belong in our body, to get in the way, preventing us from connecting with truth.
And here is the wonderment and the statement that holds the key to not needing to get our worth or fulfillment from committee roles galore or the extra long hours at the office “the more true responsibility I take, the more fulfilling my life becomes”
As I read your blog I felt all those pockets of resistance I still have to be responsible in all areas of my life. I am feeling quite uncomfortable as I feel this ouch moment but it has come at just the right moment – – I am inspired Mary-Louise, thank you.
It is so inspiring to read your shift from absolute hedonistism to absolute responsibility. I think the big thing that we often miss when we are looking at responsibility is the joy that comes with being responsible far out weighs the perceived fun of irresponsibility.
Looking at the title of this blog and what taking responsibility meant, I realise I was told that responsibility was all about what I did but never about the quality or love that I was, for this reason I developed a distain for a version of responsibility that is not actually true. There can be many people who act seemingly responsible but are being actually very irresponsible when it comes to true energetic responsibility.
This is something I am still learning to do. I thought I was being / learning to be responsible but in fact I was way off track.
I feel with responsibility, it’s an ever deepening journey, when we reach one level, of responsibility we are then able to feel how much deeper we can go.
I grew up in the 60’s and 70’s where responsibility was not ever mentioned and was almost a dirty word. These 2 decades were all about having the freedom to do your own thing and shaking off the shackles of the Victorian way of bringing up children that was ‘to be seen and not heard’, and rebelling against anything with authority. It is only with Serge Benhayon that I have heard the word responsibility used in a way that makes sense, and why I have avoided the word as much as possible, not wanting to take responsibility for my own actions and behaviours.
A great title and a great blog Mary-Louise I always enjoy your honesty and light-heartedness. With no true role models reflecting responsibility in our lives it is easy to choose a comfortable level of responsibility that looks good but in truth has no responsibility in it what so ever. I know now as soon as I started to blame my parents for not being loving and being too strict that this gave me an opportunity to make excuses to myself for my behaviour where as I can now see they were, to the best of their ability showing me a way to be responsible in my life and your opening line says it all to me and I remember this well in my childhood too. “I was told to take responsibility for many things from quite a young age with no real conversation as to why this was important.”
As children we can only build on the foundations that we witness in others, hence the quality of role models that we present to children, whether they are our own or not, matters immensely. Serge Benhayon is the first person I have met who appreciates the colossal responsibility of this all the time, consistently aware and responsive to all that is going on around him, while being firmly connected to an inner source of guidance and wisdom beyond this world. And so we have a true role model restored to us who is enabling us to correct the wayward course of our predecessors without judgment and re-establish what is true in our lives again, passing on to the next generation genuine qualities of integrity and responsibility that they can reliably model their lives on.
When the word responsibility is thrown at you in this way its easy to see how we have bastardised its meaning. When we are expected to be responsible on someone else’s terms and demands it looses its purpose, and is seen as something that we just pull out of the bag when it’s needed. Universal Medicine has offered us all an amazing understanding that responsibility can be lived and breathed in every moment, its part of who we are.
Tough upbringing Mary-Louise Myers but how incredible is it to live responsibly “..the more true responsibility I take, the more fulfilling my life becomes.” And these words TOO “The embracing of what true responsibility is brings great joy into my life and I can deeply appreciate that I am now able to be a role model to others with an understanding that I did not have growing up.” What a gift you now offer and share with a World, and a World I feel will listen to you.
It totally freaks me out at how irresponsible I used to be, but also realise that on an energetic level I have probably only just taken a few baby steps into the world of true responsibility.
Children are naturally very gentle and open, why then do we tell them how to be and what to do? Obviously we need to learn life skills but equal to that we pick up actions and behaviours from what those around us are doing, so we learn more from movements than speech.
Mary Louise you are really a role model as with your upbringing you can share what it meant to develop true responsibility after meeting Serge Benhayon. Such as Serge you live what you say and that is what is inspiring and also so much needed in our world today!
A true role model is what we are actually all seeking and searching for when we are growing up. We of course initially look to our parents and invariably feel let down by what we see and feel. Because as children we are feeling everything unfiltered. This impacts on us greatly, as you have shared Mary-Louise, the rebellion that can ensue, I too rebelled in my own way, because I felt so let down by what I felt. I knew it wasn’t true. But it is getting to a stage in life that we can either blame or take responsibility, for our day to day choices, but also our energetic choices.
Often the most strongest reflection of role modelling comes not from out the mouth but observing the way they live, walk, move. This non verbal expression and observation of self responsibility speaks louder than words and is non imposing, which then has the greatest effect of being inspired.
Exactly Johanne – children watch and copy what they see.
‘…the more true responsibility I take, the more fulfilling my life becomes.’ I feel my own journey with true responsibility is only just beginning – but what a joy it feels to be, rather than the onerous obligation I’ve often thought it is. It is actually our natural way!
I agree Jane – we have so much to learn from peoples stories, such as the ones that Mary-Louise has presented. What particularly stands out is that when Mary-Louise tells her story, she shares her past choices and lack of responsibility in a way that we can all be inspired by … Life is not about being perfect, it is not about getting it all right all of the time – but the purpose of poor choices can be very powerful if we use them to learn and grow as Mary-Louise has. And a definite yes to a book from Mary-Louise!
I too can share that I did not really feel that I ‘grew up’ until I was about 35 years old. I always had this feeling that something was missing – I had the house, the husband, and was studying and I also had the child, so I was ticking all the boxes that mean “you are an adult”. But it never felt like I had grown up until I encountered Universal Medicine and got to feel and be inspired by Serge Benhayon on what Responsibility really is. Thank fully today I understand it to be far more than just ticking boxes, as I know it is about the quality we bring and the intent that we have everyday.
I find it a fine line between acknowledging that our parents had little chance to do better and also acknowledging that they actually *could* have done better – they had choices and quite a few choices that weren’t particularly difficult that they preferred not to take.
Thank you Mary-Louise! I have thoroughly enjoyed reading your blog because of the way you have shared things, not judging yourself and being so open and honest about things and just sharing things the way they were and the way they are today. It is refreshing to hear that there is only a joy in the fact that you were finally reflected true responsibility and more so that you have now embraced it in your life.
What a set up no matter which way you turn there has to be some sort of reaction to our upbringing so that we turn away from our divine essence.
For more on essence go to;
http://www.unimedliving.com/search?keyword=essence
I love that when true responsibility is embraced that life can be not only fulfilling and even joyful but that this can be reflected to others who are unaware of the power and beauty that responsibility can bring
Responsibility is not a burden but evolutionary.
The blog is amazing, and it is great to read about somebody’s experience in that you don’t actually scream every time you hear the word “Responsibility.” There is so much fear of that the word and we are often making matters worse by obsessing with it. I also have a feeling that there is still some frustration with your parents, could it be because the relationship you had with them has so strongly impacted you as a person, that even though you are an adult who understands why they did what they did, you can still feel the hurt in that young girl who did not receive the love she so wanted and was entitled to?
Great to read your journey, what a turn around. We all know what true responsibility is, it is within us. We just need to get out the way, drop the arrogance and start to truly take responsibility of our own lives and through that we reflect to others and can be true role models.
To be a true role model is to live by example of what is loving. Teaching children about responsibility means we have to be living it ourselves, otherwise our words and our expressions are void of truth. Children can detect this a million miles away and they are highly sensitive and wise just like everyone else.
So true. How often do we tell our children to be responsible, caring, loving or the like and simply provide a list of our own expectations for them to tick? I remember having many such situations in my life and I always reacted by withdrawing or rebelling. In fact such a demand resulted in me being less responsible, caring and loving than I would have been if I was left alone. Demanding something and inspiring by example are worlds apart.
You absolutely are a true role model Mary-Louise and I love your, what’s next approach to life. Very inspiring.
Love this Mary-Louise, you show how what we are given when growing up is not what we have to be when all grown up, because actually we can choose.
I really appreciate your openness about how deepening responsibility can first feel. Yet because you know the truth and purpose of what you feel to respond to you are absolutely willing to take the deeper step of responsibility to support you and us All, and this is truly inspiring. Thank you Mary-Louise for being an amazing role model.
I know the feeling of rebelling against responsibility very well. It is totally selfish. It is choosing myself over everyone and everything else.
We either rebel or act good as a way of establishing some kind of identity and recognition. How great it is when parents inspire their children to be all that they are right from the start.
We each have a responsibility to reflect the love that we are in each unfolding moment and life is about getting back to that level of responsibility, a level of responsibility that we have all lived before.
We can never escape the choices we are making. The choices we make that are untrue at some point will need to be seen and walked through. We are equally graced by the wake of our loving choices.
I was fortunate enough that my parents communicated a lot with me! Which led to a certain harmony within the family. However, as far as I can remember we never shared our feelings. Why do we clean up? Why do we take a shower? Why is it important to look after our body? Etc. Now when I clean up I sense the complete difference in the room. As if the effort and punctuality I put into a task completely changes the environment. Which is a showcase of how important we all are and that each and every part we don’t take responsibility for will create some kind of disharmony somewhere. We’re hugely important and are worth living this importancy.
My children all had chores to do around the house when they were growing up. I can see how explaining the importance of doing them might have encouraged a different attitude. I remember as a child that if I could get out of the chores I did. It made me smile at your trick of hiding in the toilets until the dishes were done.
Sadly it makes sense that we as children don’t learn to take responsibility, when what is reflected to us is to avoid true responsibility.
Mary-Louise I have only known you during your more recent years, as a super wise, loving, caring compassionate woman. To get this sort of background into where you once were and just how far you have come through your own choice and commitment is just out of this world. You are a testimony to what is possible for people who feel like they’re stuck in the rut with the indulgences of this world. Even more so, you hold yourself no greater than another as you understand peoples choices and beginnings treating them as equals and allowing equal opportunity for space and expansion.
Being asked to be responsible without feeling why it’s important or having it explained in a way that registers within ones body doesn’t inspire responsibility but usually resulted in resentment. Appreciating how I’m getting why something asks for me to responsible is so lovely. Responsibility then becomes a joy and not a chore.
Very confronting Mary-Louise, “to have to see the effect my irresponsible way of living had on myself, my health, my mental state, my children and all my family and friends”, but also to know we are not often shown any different, though when you were shown it you welcomed it with open arms – the first step towards true responsibility.
Your blog Mary-Louise reminds me of the saying “Do as I say, not as I do.”
In the mess of life that is so often seemingly ‘passed down’ through generations, the responsibility of true role models becomes all the more apparent, as you’ve shared here so well… For something very different occurs when we have a role model of true responsibility before us… We are offered the opportunity to either (a) step into the same responsibility ourselves, or (b) unavoidably know that the reflection is there, but yet rebel against the truth we see another living – and thus wilfully avoid living the truth that is also our own.
The true role model – the one who lives what he or she says, teaches and/or presents in life, offers the greatest service to all by living in the integrity that he or she does. Whether another is inspired in kind matters not, for even when it has been resisted, the integrity of the reflection is felt, and thus the possibility to live purposefully, in and by all that is truth and love, cannot be denied.
As children we are obviously so bright and aware, we know what is really going on. Why do adults despose this type of dictation then? Golivingninstrvtuons in this and that meanwhile concealing and holding back from being transparent with their children.
An interesting look at rebellion – for in it, are we not often reacting to the lack of love lived by others? And making things more difficult (often for all around us) purely because we don’t want to deal with the fact?
Rather than bringing a love that may hold the potential to transform everyone, we hold it back and instead ‘rebel’ – thereby contributing only further to the mess…
It’s absolutely understandable, yet so worth exploring further, as to where our true responsibility rests – in bringing our all to everything in life – that we may see the mess we’ve all been a part of making, and choose to make the transition out of it, for good.
Every one of us is a powerful reflection for another… and when our words don’t match our actions we offer a very negative way of being in the world. However, if we were to live our truth… our lives are transformed, and we can inspire the lives of many others.
The thing that influences us the most is what people are communicating with their bodies. It’s as if true communication happens between bodies and not between minds or mouths. Therefore a parent, teacher, friend or colleague can talk to us all they want about doing something or not doing something but it’s what their body is saying that is the real key and therein lies the all too common discrepancy.
I’ve just read a quote by Serge Benhayon which the second sentence offers ” . . . when a hurdle looks like a rat and smells like a rat, then it isn’t a hurdle, so walk away knowing there is no growth in deception.”
At some point in our lives we get to choose to continue the cycle we have been on or recognise it for what it is and choose again.
Beautifully said Alexis, we absolutely know truth when it is lived and breathed, there is no half in, half out here, its a full bodied obedience to the plan.
We all have a story of how our choices lead us to someplace that we have excepted. But there were few that can say they are living and accepting the choices we make. The choices we make will always be our Responsibility.
True responsibility brings such a beautiful life, in every part of our lives. It can be challenging to always live responsible but the life is great. Living irresponsible is sort of the opposite, it is seemingly easier as we don’t challenge our ways but the life as a result is not so great either.
Yes, it is the difference between getting a buzz and joy.
I am on a point in my life where I am asked to go to a deeper level of responsibility and this presented itself naturally without any push or drive to get somewhere. I appreciate your honesty about how you find yourself resistant at first when the next level of responsibility is offered and how you are not giving it any energy but are prepared to give it a go. Thank you Mary-Louise, this is so inspiring and felt in my body how taking true responsibility brings a joy and vitality, you are indeed an amazing role-model.
Yes, Mary-Louise, many of us have grown up without true role models, knowing that what we observe in those close to us does not feel right. It has been so incredibly healing and inspiring to observe Serge Benhayon and his beautiful family for fifteen years now, to feel through their every movement and the way they interact with others, what the true love I have always known inside actually looks like in everyday life.
I love how with true responsibility comes understanding, as you have come to with regard to your parents. This is a beautiful sharing, thank you Mary-Louise.
I remember being taught in science about the harm of smoking, from a teacher who was a chain smoker and whose body was showing the signs of the decay caused by the toxins – in a way, his body was all the evidence I needed that smoking was not a good thing, and yet it is so often the case that we hear words from a body that does not live them.
Yes wow that is truly a phenomenon Rebecca, what is the quality of the spoken word if the body doesn’t live it’s truth… not very absolute.
‘ But I am so onto this pattern, which is to think it is “too hard” and that “I cannot do it,” that the awareness I have developed around it means I do not give in to it.’ I know this pattern too, and in my work as a health practitioner it has come up countless times. Many people, and I did for a while too, approach this with affirmations and try and persuade themselves into being able or capable or even successful. Affirmations don’t work in a holistic way they just stay as perceptions in the head and they don’t last. Bringing quality to our bodies in what we choose to ingest, how we choose to move and how we choose to look at the bigger picture, taking increasingly more care of ourselves ,is a foundational level of responsibility. All of this supports our awareness to grow and allows us to appreciate and feel more confidence in ourselves and in our lives.
You show incredible vulnerability Mary-Louise, exposing your back ground for all to read. And there is so much truth to feel about how the journey has progressed and where you are now with the true responsibility you hold and reflect to everyone, family, friends and anyone you meet. It can be felt for others to make their own choices too.
It is easy to see how when we are being constantly reflected irresponsibility as the model of how life is and will always be, which then gives us the pictures that we can run with that and just do our own thing, and push the boundaries even further by rebelling – how important then is it to have Serge Benhayon, and now others like him, who are prepared to reflect back to humanity what true responsibility is. Are we not lost without true responsibility?
As the eldest child I was constantly called on to act responsibly but this always felt controlling and that it was done to make my parents lives easier. Needless to say I often reacted and rebelled against this and I would pick and choose what I was willing to do. My understanding now is that taking true responsibility is about being open to what is needed and committing to being responsible for that. Life is not a pick and mix of responsibilities.
When the talk is not walked it means nothing, the words then are empty of the truth they otherwise would be able to communicate. This also reminds of the fact that life comes before words, ie words are to express what is known by living.
Stunning Alex. Life comes before words… words without a body living then are not just fickle and empty, they also purport the very opposite of what is being said.
‘I also healed any resentment and anger I had towards my parents, as I was able to look back and understand that they were doing the best they could at the time given they were also a product of their parents, thus unable to role–model true responsibility.’ This is huge and shows a cycle of resentment which is common throughout our society. I was also in this position until a lady I used to work with showed me how I was holding onto this resentment almost like I was awaiting an apology from my parents. Letting go of this changed my life and now I have awesome relationships with my parents thanks to the changes I have made since coming to the work of Universal Medicine and the teachings as presented by Serge Benhayon.
‘We often did not listen to them as there was no ‘role-modelling’ of what taking responsibility really looked like’ – This is a really key point Mary-Louise. When we’re young we look for examples of how to behave, act and live, and pick up patterns from those around us, and we actually do this all through life too. It’s then SO important for all of us to provide a reflection of responsibility, care and respect because it’s surprising just how huge our reach is on a daily basis.
What a turn around Mary-Louise, that you could be so far removed from taking any responsibility to then meeting Serge Benhayon, and by the way he lives his daily life you were able to understand how reckless you were being on yourself and others. That is a momentous life changing turn around; thank you so much for sharing that it is possible to change our way of living if we have the incentive to do so and Serge Benhayon seems to be that incentive for so many people.
It feels like a great moment in life when someone chooses to accept responsibility for themselves and end the cycles of victimhood. We can always point to our upbringing, our parenting, our less than perfect schooling etc and say ‘no wonder I turned out the way I am’, but this pattern only changes when someone like Mary-Louise takes responsibility and chooses to be empowered. We can all blame our past but we are only truly empowered when we choose responsibility.
Beautifully said Richard. Ultimately we can’t and it is not about blaming any other person for our life, the past and where we are in our life now because in the end it all comes down to the choice we made and the choices we make … and gosh do I know this to be true from experience!
Yes. In order to make a true change we have to embrace our power – and to do so we must accept responsibility.
The awesome shifts you have made in your life Mary-Louise clearly demonstrate that leading by example far outweighs being told what to do. Serge Benhayon provides a true role for the world, a man who is the living embodiment of truth, integrity and harmony, qualities that can be felt in his every move and word, nothing is expressed without purpose. Coming face to face with such a teacher instantly reminds us of our true path in life and then after that it is all down to us, to choose to re-claim our inner wisdom and dignity or to continue to rebel.
There is a richness and depth to life that was not present prior to studying with Serge Benhayon, even the word “responsibility” now has so many new dimensions to it considering what I once thought it was. Mary-Louise your story is a wonderful example of the expansion and new depths that can happen in any facet of life when we choose to live the way of the Soul.
I was a bit like you Mary-Louise, I avoided responsibility like the plague and thought that this did no one any harm but myself. It took meeting Serge Benhayon as well, to break the hideous momentum that I was in. I also realise that the responsibility we have never stops growing the more we understand what it is really about.
I have been in the total arrogance of thinking I was being responsible or at least working on it, the fact is I am very irresponsible with most or if not all of my thoughts, words, actions, movements, money, what I eat, thinking I am better place than I actually am in life etc. This has been and is still a huge wake up call for me. Very humbling and I’ve not even felt the half of it yet.
Mary-Louise, I can feel that this must happen a lot; children being told to be more responsible and told how to be and how to behave from parents who are not living what they are saying, ‘We often did not listen to them as there was no ‘role-modelling’ of what taking responsibility really looked like.’ It has been life changing to meet Serge Benhayon, a man who actually lives what he is presenting, he is a true model, as you now are Mary-Louise.
“Nearly fifteen years later, the way I live has changed beyond recognition from my earlier life, and my relationship with responsibility has changed immensely from one of thinking it was a ‘burden’ to one of seeing that the more true responsibility I take, the more fulfilling my life becomes.” brilliantly put, same here with me over the past 13 years and all I can say is why didn’t I choose to embrace true responsibility earlier, it’s taken many years of hard work and healing and every day my understanding and relationship with responsibility deepens.
All round a healing opportunity for all those who know and see you Mary-Louise, showing that at any time we can make different choices and once again live responsibly. It’s a biggy when we are reminded that we can not blame or resent our parents for anything… but instead bring understanding and look at what was truly going on for them as well.
“I also healed any resentment and anger I had towards my parents, as I was able to look back and understand that they were doing the best they could at the time given they were also a product of their parents, thus unable to role–model true responsibility” – so healing and so true to read Mary-Louise…the building of perspective to bring the beauty of understanding to let go, and move on.
I love the way you highlight the fact that we all know what true responsibility is. It is clear to me that responsibility has nothing to do with what we do and everything to do with how we approach what we do and why we do it.
The realness and transparency in how you describe your life as it was when growing up is like watching a movie scene in my head as I read your blog – To be able to express like this is a tribute to how real, down to earth, honest and transparent you are in life today, and that certainly describes you as a true role model amongst many today.
Unless we are living it ourselves , any directive is just that.. a love less directive that means nothing. When we live love it is in our movements and actions – and there is much less to say.
Absolutely when we live it, it is in the reflection of our movements. Its that simple, we reflect to true responsibility when we are truly living it, it is felt by all.
Growing up or being a student never stops we are always learning what in our life we are reacting to and stop it so we cam see clearly what has caused the reactions to take place and all the process that have lead to any reaction. Then the process of healing any underling issue can take place.
For more on reactions go to;
http://www.unimedliving.com/search?keyword=REACTION
‘I can deeply appreciate that I am now able to be a role model to others with an understanding that I did not have growing up.’ …. your reflection is deeply enriched by the fact that you didn’t have the role modelling you now offer others, growing up, as it offers how we all have the same potential to choose to take responsibility in our lives, at any time, irrespective of our outside influences. As you shared, from very young, you knew you were choosing to behave irresponsibly. We all have this knowing inside, when we choose to be aware.
‘We often did not listen to them as there was no ‘role-modelling’ of what taking responsibility really looked like’ …. awesome point, Mary Louise. If we are not truly living for ourselves what we are asking of others, our words are empty and will not be heard.
Indeed Mary-Lousie, there is no responsibility without energetic responsibility at its core. I also experienced, and still experience a level of blindness to the responsibility that we have with being willing to look at the energetic responsibility of life.
It makes all the difference in the world to hear someone present on responsibility – who lives to the utmost every aspect of that responsibility – the words resonate with the truth of the energy thus lived and this we feel to our core. and from there is born the inspiration learn to live our own true way of love and responsibility.
It makes the world (if not universe) of difference when the person giving advice/instructions is actually living it themselves. Enter the Benhayon family – first time it is truly lived and then can be experienced by others.
The most powerful impact for me has always been when I hear someone speak from where they live – when every single word shared is imbued with a lived experience and quality that is there for inspiring because when you listen, you can hear not only the words but the fact it is possible.
‘Do as I say and not what I do’. How many people would have heard either this line, or similar. And the we wonder why people don’t take us seriously. How can they when we are pure hypocrites? Live what you express and that’s it….everyone will align when they feel the truth in what you’re saying.
Mary-Louise the example you gave us in your family car, how your parents yelled at you and your siblings, I see this often and sadly most people see this as an accepted way to discipline children. But it is not effective at all because it is abusive. When children misbehave and adults choose to yell or discipline them in the same energy as the ill behavior, then what we effectively do is feed more ill energy to the situation which doesn’t change anything except creates more hurt and disharmony.
This week I tangibly felt the inspiration I felt when someone role modeled responsibility I knew was way more than I’d ever allowed myself to feel. What’s lovely is that once I looked to role models and just decided the level of responsibility they choose was out of my league. This week I allowed myself to feel the next step I could take on making my life less about me and be about people and loving myself equally also, I didn’t immediately jump to dismiss I have a part to play in the world but took a step towards playing it.
True inspiration to embrace responsibility – thank you May-Louise.
I am constantly looking at ways to deepen this responsibility, and interestingly, whenever the next level is offered I find myself at first resistant. But I am so onto this pattern, which is to think it is “too hard” and that “I cannot do it,” that the awareness I have developed around it means I do not give in to it. Mary-Louise, you have captured responsibility and your relationship with it, so very beautifully here as I can feel the truth of this in my body. Responsibility for me feels full of absolute love and your expression here confirms that. Thank-you.
Beautiful Mary-Louise, thank you for expressing this.. It makes it very truly clear that responsibility reaches further than a life matter, job or role. That we are energetic beings, as we are existing out of energy, that need to equally respect life and do the things we need to do, but do it from an energetic quality that serves us/people in truth. No imposition, no blame, no game or holding back of who we truly are.. Simply allowing the divine truth that we hold within us all – to re-unite, and be lived again.
“I am so onto this pattern, which is to think it is “too hard” and that “I cannot do it,” that the awareness I have developed around it means I do not give in to it.” This is awesome because there is such an honesty in being able to clock that there is resistance to go to the next level of responsibility, which is so important. But then our responsibility is to become aware of what is at play, not give in to it and then say ‘yes’ to the evolution on offer.
I love this Mary-Louise. I am discovering that there is actually a huge joy in taking responsibility. Quite the opposite of the misery that is created when we drop out of life.
Mary-Louise, you are living proof that no matter what you’ve chosen in the past can be healed. How does someone change from a life of drugs, alcohol, poor diet and I’d say a total lack of care or love for themselves turn their life around to be someone who is now seen as a role model? It is extraordinary. That’s where the teachings of Serge Benhayon come in. This isn’t a makeover story, but an example of how dealing with the hurts of the past allow you to make loving choices.
Thank you Mary-Louise, the way you share what has unfolded for you with such beautiful simplicity, clarity and enormous love is truly inspiring. We can transform any choices at any moment, and Serge Benhayon is truly the master of role modeling and sharing the understanding of what gets in the way when it feels complicated or there is resistance from myself or others.
How important is it to feel life! If we’re living life from what is told from the outside without a true understanding, we don’t actually have a relationship with life. We have, one, but really empty. And from the emptiness we do crazy things to create a world that is completely false and lacking connection from who we truly are. Loving ourselves is increasing our responsibility for ourselves will lead to a much more vital, joyful and responsible life. Naturally. Mary-Louise, you’re an amazing role-model. That your experiences and choices may inspire lots and lots of people / women around the globe!
The phrase that was around in my childhood was ‘be good’. Basically that means don’t upset the adults around you, be polite, try to please people, and don’t shout. There are elements of care within that but it includes pandering to others to avoid a reaction and does not fully include any element of self care or energetic responsibility.
Such a great and powerful point you make Mary-Louise about how we should never judge or blame our parents, we all operate within a system where we do what we know and what we have learned. And if we have an awareness that what was done is not loving, then it is our responsibility to share that with the next generation.
I love that you share there is a little resistance every time a new level of responsibility is offered. Sometimes this resistence is almost imperceptible to me – I say almost because I have come to understand from experience that we feel everything so it is a choice to resist what is more natural to us – to embrace responsibility, to value the essence of who we are and what we bring to the world.
Wow Mary- Louise this is a brilliant blog that you have written, because I’m sure so many of us can relate to it on many levels. Like you the children of my family had to be responsible for the house hold duties, and we had pocket money based on the work completed. It was never explained to us what responsibility was, we just had to be it. And as you say meeting Serge Benhayon is a life changing event if you are prepared be open to the possibility that actually our current way of living is so way off track. And in our hearts we know it is but are we willing to take that step towards Energetic responsibility and make the changes that are so necessary to bring us all back into step with each other.
‘Responsibility is fulfilling’, who would have thought that I was able to relate to that one day. I guess it is because responsibility relates to purpose and with purpose there is meaning to life.
I know exactly what you mean about being resistant to the next level of evolution Mary-Louise. But as you say, having the awareness of what is going on, even if it takes a while (!) certainly supports us in making the loving choice to come back to ourselves and evolve further back down the path of who we truly are. It takes dedication and commitment to yourself to honestly look at your choices but they are oh so worth making…you are inspiring.
It is a great observation and an important point to remember: we can ask, demand, preach and even shout at children to be responsible all we want, it will only make a difference when we live and reflect it ourselves.
I was remembering the first time I got drunk – I was 12 and my parents sat me in a chair and laughed at or with me. My Dad had bought me the 2 Litre bottle of cider to take to the party – I was 12. I felt like I had grown up because my dad was buying me alcohol. Did I say that I was 12? The fact is the irresponsibility in our home permeated every action and decision made. Every argument amongst us kids was already set in play by the way the household lived. The violence that my Dad would sporadically mete out was already part of the rhythm of the house. It was happening when and where not determined. No wonder I chose to also be irresponsible. I did not know any different really until, after years of alcohol and drug abuse, I met Serge Benhayon and the word responsibility started to permeate in a truer way.
Not many people associate responsibility with joy but I have found this to be true too. The other thing that really strikes me about what you have shared Mary-Louise is around integrity. True integrity is in my view, when a person lives and breathes what they say – i.e., the walk their talk. Serge Benhayon does this and hence there is absolute integrity in his words and his expression. The two combined – responsibility and integrity – bring true power.
Wow Mary-Louise, I was reading this thinking this sounds so familiar, it reminds me of my life as a child and then I get to end and find it is written by you, my sister. Yes I agree sadly there were no true role models to be found while we were growing up. Understanding true responsibility is understanding brotherhood and the importance our every thought word and deed has on the good of the whole . When we understand this fully we can never compartmentalise the idea of ourself again.
This reminds me of how much the words we say carry the energy with which we are living and so we can say one thing but if we aren’t truly living it ourself then it isn’t very inspiring… Or conversely when we are walking the talk so to speak then the energy that comes with what we say can really support others.
‘I would rebel and take as little responsibility as I could. One of my behaviours was to sit on the toilet each night after dinner until the dishes had been done.’ This just shows that aversion to taking responsibility can start playing out from such a young age.
A deeply humbling sharing, that exposes how much responsibility is not something we learn, but more something we know to be true when it is seen for its truth in the way another lives. Then it becomes our way too, by choice.
I am still learning about energetic responsibility and what it really means. But what I do know is that how we carry ourselves is felt. We can be angry on the inside and smiley on the outside, but we can all feel beyond the false smile to what is underneath it but often override what we feel because of what we see.
Great approach to noticing old patterns of ‘I can’t’ coming up, and being onto them straight away. It’s quite amazing how we can convince ourselves that we can’t do something that is actually pretty easy, if we but commit ourselves to just doing it and getting on with it.
Being more responsible doesn’t mean it has to be difficult or challenging, or take up a lot of time – as with most things, it’s our relationship with it that dictates how we feel about it. Do we choose to see it as a heavy burden, or as an offering of expansion – to be more of who we are, an opportunity to bring more of that into the world?
‘The more true responsibility I take, the more fulfilling my life becomes’ what more can be said!
From what is described there is certainly a breaking of a pattern of behaviour that looks set to run again through another part of the family tree. I can relate to what is described from the childhood in this article and while it wasn’t the case in my home I saw many peoples homes that did look somewhat destructive at times. It certainly sounds like a very intense way to grow up and I am also finding that breaking patterns of behaviour I saw when I was young and then acted out as I got older is very freeing and fresh way to live.
As a child I used to get yelled at a lot too and I didn’t like it, so did the opposite. I used to do my chores before I was asked to avoid being yelled at. Interesting how we all have different ways to cope with an abusive environment.
The energetic factor with the word responsibility takes it to a whole new meaning. We can call ourselves responsible citizens if we think that is about doing our job well, paying our bills on time, being clean and neat and so on, but what about what types of thoughts we are having? This is one example of where energetic responsibility asks us to really look at what is going on.
Children are very aware and they know when something doesn’t feel true. It is much harder for children to take responsibility if all they see around them are people not taking responsibility.
Talking the talk without walking the walk, around responsibility and many other areas of life produces offspring who can see through these behaviors, be they in parents or teachers etc. Without true role models who do young people copy? ‘Do as I say’ doesn’t cut it. Serge Benhayon is such a potent role model because he does walk the talk; energetic responsibility running through him like no other person I have ever met.
Mary Louise, what a journey of transformation you have had. When we are not shown anything different and we don’t understand true responsibility, we have no example to follow. Serge Benhayon showed you a different way to be, I don’t want to imagine where you would be now if you hadn’t met him. Now you have followed his example and are showing others a different way to live in true responsibility, by constantly looking for the next step.
My understanding of responsibility is an ever deepening one. To understand what it truly means and live with that level of love is so far from a burden but actually a very freeing feeling.
My understanding of responsibility is an ever deepening one. To understand what it truly means and live with that level of love is so far from a burden but actually a very freeing feeling.
I can relate to so much of what you have written here Mary-Louise, I had no clue what responsibility was really about until I came across Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine’s teachings – it goes to show how important it is for us all to have true role-models but also that it is never too late to start making responsible choices.
You have made clear a wonderful point of consideration about responsibility Mary-Louise and that is that we are educated from young through the experiences of our childhood that responsibility is somewhat of a burden to carry on our shoulders. And understably it does not get painted in a beautiful way as no one else seems to be truly living it so!
Very true Doug. I am pondering my own lack of responsibility and although I can see that being irresponsible causes much misery and complication I find myself choosing it again and again. It is clear to me that I am fooling myself when I do this.
I feel that true responsibility has no ounce of recognition, identification or need in it. It is all about the all. What I mean is that most of the time we do things to seek self gratification but what if true responsibility did not bring this per se. What if it brought far more?
This is super inspiring, Mary-Louise, for me especially how you describe the process of working through any resistance to expanding to the next level of fullness and joyful responsibility.
I can completely concur Mary-Louise, when i met Serge Benhayon i was a 32 year old child, i had actively chosen to be the baby of the family and although i was about to have my fist child, i was not in the least bit prepared for life and would constantly get overwhelmed, recoil and blame those around me for my sad circumstance. Its a work in progress but today i am 44years old and beginning to see that responsibility actually has no compartments but can be a moment to moment lived way, a one life where no one movement is more important than the next. Over the last 12 years that I have practiced & observed Serge Benhayon live and present this way, my life is steadier, more purposeful and i know with certainty that true lived responsibility is a light and joyful expression.
Thank you Mary-Louise. You are certainly a role-model for me.
I also find Mary Louise is a breath of fresh air who inspires many.
A great life story, showing us that we can change, and change dramatically, and are not bound to our behaviours and past choices.
And what an inspirational role model you are Mary-Louise. Your transformation is nothing short of miraculous, and all because you chose to make different choices about the way you lived your life, by taking full responsiblity for each and every one of them.
The ‘do as I say not as I do’ approach does not truly work. There is a noticeable difference in the affect on the world around me and within me when I am honest and share what I live rather than what I don’t live. Pushing expectations on people that I don’t live myself never work.
Yes indeed Leigh, the ‘do as I say not as I do’ approach is the one that usually flips out when it doesn’t get what it wants – when it can’t control the situation or the other person. Been there and done that, it was useless and felt horrible. Focusing on being the change you want to see in the world and owning the responsibility is a great gift to everyone.
Brilliant Mary-Louise. Your blog reminds me that true role models present themselves to us when we choose to start taking responsibility. We know we can get away with irresponsibility when others are also choosing it but when we are surrounded by people who live in a responsible way our lack of care stands out in a most uncomfortable way.
Amazing Mary-Louise, and I love what you’ve shared about there being a lot of JOY in responsibility because there certainly is in knowing that the role model you are offering other people is one that will inspire them to be grander rather than a lesser version of themselves.
Mary-Louise your description of growing up I feel is quite similar in many households in that as children we don’t see parents taking responsibility for their own lives, and therefore are not able to reflect what responsibility really looks like. There is a saying ‘do as I say not as I do’ and I remember clearly as a child finding that this is how most adults behaved and getting resentful towards being asked to do something.
“my relationship with responsibility has changed immensely from one of thinking it was a ‘burden’ to one of seeing that the more true responsibility I take, the more fulfilling my life becomes’. Mary Louise your story is such an inspiring one and I would imagine a real challenge and to look at all of your choices in your 40s. Wow, so glad you did!
Resistance to the next level of responsibility is something I can relate to as well. Will I be able to cope? Can I do this? All self doubting thoughts that can come in to sabotage what potentially is an opportunity to learn and grow.
This is a great testimony that shows how important it is to have true role models, and to be role models for others. Usually by the age of 45 many would be set in their ways and pretty much given up on life giving the drugs, alcohol and life choices up to that point but Mary-Louise you have proven that anything is possible when you start taking responsibility for your life.
Wow it is really interesting to read what your experience of doing jobs to help in the house was like, I can see that without giving the greater whole picture to our children they just see an endless list of what needs to be done. Without the livingness of responsibility by the parents then it is just hollow words and the resentment is born. So much to ponder here Mary-Louise.
“I would rebel and take as little responsibility as I could.” I know this one and it was exactly what I would do, I would scream, shout and do anything to avoid taking any responsibility. As I look back now I see it was because I was both hurt and also had not appreciated the truth of what responsibility was, seeing it as a pain rather than as part of evolution and learning.
The beautiful change in your life is nothing less than an amazing miracle Mary- Louise and proves how simply taking responsibility for ourselves and our lives can make so much difference. Meeting Serge Benhayon and being offered the true way of living by his reflection as a true role model and his loving consistency and integrity has shown you everything and your love and appreciation is deeply felt also.
The life you describe growing up is I am sure very similar to many others in that mostly we function and do not live one of true joy, love, well-being, commitment and responsibility. It certainly makes a difference when someone presents or talks to another/others and they actually live what they are presenting rather than say things to either look good or to tick boxes without really caring. And has you have shared here Serge Benhayon is one such person ‘and coming from a man who was actually living what he presented, this had a huge impact on me’ When we feel someone is truly living what they are either expressing/presenting it is like our bodies start to take notice, to sit up and listen because we are feeling what is possible and that what is being said is not just words.
I love the simple clarity and open honesty with which you express Mary-Louise. Your humility makes the inspiration all the greater.
Mary-Louise, thank you for sharing this, I can feel how often we get told to ‘take responsibility’ by our parents or teachers when they are not being responsible themselves and so their words and what they are saying feels empty, I am aware with my son that I have to live what I am saying, so if I am telling him to be calm and not to overeat I also have to be living this, he spots a mile off any behaviour where I am not living what I am telling him to live and calls this out, one classic is me saying ‘sit down and eat’ whilst often standing up snacking myself, I notice that he will not listen if i am not living what I am saying – a great reflection for me.
Thanks Mary-Louise. A true role model teaches responsibility by living it, which is a million miles away from telling you to do something they are not doing themselves.
‘Do as I say and not as I do,’ was a saying I heard many adults utter to children as I was growing up. They often told children not to do the exact same they were doing. Being able to walk your talk is one part of taking responsibility. I appreciate that my relationship with that word has changed over the years and I’m beginning to see it less as a burden and more about love and integrity.
It is amazing to see what the effect of true role modelling is as in what you live is what is been felt before the words you actually speak. And it is the first, the way you live, that has the biggest effect.
We can’t teach true responsibility until we choose to live it ourselves. Teaching our children or adults true responsibility can not be taught through words or instructions but by living it in full and this sets the best example of all.
This truly is a great sharing Mary-Louise, for how are we supposed to know what responsibility is without true role models. If we have someone giving it all the do what I say and not what I do malarky, we will never break the patterns of irresponsibility. I love how you also were able to see through the predicament your parents were in and not hold on to any resentment or anger towards them as parents are generally doing the best they can with the tools they have.
What an awesome moment it is when we realise that our parents are equally a product of their childhood and are doing their best in a world that has never mirrored back to them what true responsibility is and what a struggle this makes life. Meeting Serge Benhayon is such an eye opener, the moment when we can finally see the awful affect of our irresponsibility, selfishness and arrogant waywardness and then we are presented with a true choice. We are empowered to opt for another way to live supported by a living example of true integrity and responsibility and then gradually the truth of these words becomes the reality for the many: “the way I live has changed beyond recognition from my earlier life, and my relationship with responsibility has changed immensely from one of thinking it was a ‘burden’ to one of seeing that the more true responsibility I take, the more fulfilling my life becomes.”
It’s easy to blame other people for our lack of commitment to life or lack of responsibility – but truth is we choose it – there is no one else to blame.
Thanks for the reminder of what true responsibility is.
Mary-Louise yes are an amazing role model and this piece of writing is super inspiring, thank you.
It’s amazing what can occur and how life and how things can change when we accept that we are responsible for our lives and all of the choices we make.
It is fun to do what I can do, not just part of what I am able to.
Expectations are huge. They are a tool to hide, a tool to not evolve, a tool to feel higher than the other. The expectations your parents had on you look like they would be a good support, but when the energy is not true they stay ideals and beliefs they wanted to live but did not manage and so asked their children to live them. This is a behaviour which I know of my own parents. They wanted the best for us as children and put a high expectation on us. Part of responsibility is to be aware of this behaviour and not to impose expectations on others but to inspire them by ones own life.
It is amazing how dramatically you have turned around the patterns from your past Mary-Louise, however deeply entrenched through your family and upbringing they might have been. Learning what true responsibility was by having it reflected by someone living it, and your clear willingness to do so, exposes the false version you were constantly asked to live growing up. It just goes to show that if we don’t live what we preach, it essentially falls on deaf ears, however much that person might want a true answer.
Very true Jenny, “It just goes to show that if we don’t live what we preach, it essentially falls on deaf ears…” no where have I seen this more than with parenting… yes it happens everywhere but as children we are super sensitive and aware of discrepancies and inconsistencies. I’ve found that it can, if we choose to, give people an excuse to be less or not take responsibility when others aren’t. It’s like when substitute teachers fill in at schools and some students start playing up and before you know it most the class is. When there is someone modelling responsibility consistency and commitment there is no grey area, there are no ifs or buts, we all know it… and that for me has been Serge Benhayon.
Yes same for me Aimee, to begin with (16 years ago) I only knew Serge Benhayon, and was absolutely inspired to make all sorts of changes because of what I saw and felt in him, but in the last 10 years or so, there have been many, many students of The Way of the Livingness who I have found super inspiring too… in all sorts of different ways. I have well and truly learnt that we all have something to offer others and often I think we don’t realise half of what it is we are inspiring in those around us.
Fantastic – and yes, the more responsibility we take, the more fulfilling our life becomes. And as to sitting on the toilet until the dishes were done – my late brother used to ask ‘can I help?’ just when everything was done. In the end we used to laugh and joke about it, but it didn’t prove to be a supportive way to live.
This is so true that we have a responsibility as adults, parents and elders to be role models for all the children around us. I think as a parent I was not ideal as a role model but, as you say, we all do the best we can with what we know, if true role models were not available for us. There are now many inspiring role models available for us and Mary-Louise is certainly one of them.
Never stop appreciating, when we appreciate and surrender, we do not need to figure out beforehand what we are being asked to do and how it can be done, life then unfolds as we expand.
It’s important to strike a balance between seeing the particulars of our childhood in all their ugliness, and not blaming our parents for what took place or what they ‘failed’ to do for us, even though irresponsibility might be at the core of the behaviours that took place. That balance is struck beautifully here – and, at any rate, to hold our parents in blame would for most of us be an extremely hypocritical choice.
Well said Victoria. There is no responsibility in blame. This blog reveals the fact that we all know what responsibility is because we know when we can get away with being less than responsible.
Indeed Victoria, part of re-learning responsibility is acknowledging the role we play in choosing our circumstance and the people we are here with, its been fascinating to observe some strong patterns/momentums in my choices that have undoubtedly carried over from my past lives.
Good old fashion modelling is the key word in this great blog. Practice what you preach, walk your talk and many other sayings that bring back the simple reflection of what we live is felt and what we model is the key ingredient in how we contribute to the world. Thank you Mary Louise for writing how these patterns can be very ingrained and take some time to heal and move towards a greater responsibility. A blog like this is the opportunity for others to read and stop to reflect that in some way or another there is a big part we all play in continuing to let pockets of our lives stay in comfort that serves no part in the quality and vitality we can feel when responsibility becomes part or our everyday living.
Fabulous Mary-Louise, thank you for sharing. I particularly appreciated your honesty around the resistance that comes up when responsibility comes knocking. I can relate to that, and like you, have registered that being on to it with awareness is the key.
This blog was just what I needed to read today as I have been experiencing a few “too hard and … I cannot do it,” moments and was almost allowing myself to be taken over by this very heavy and not very comfortable feeling. In the middle of reading I could see so clearly that I have a choice right now to succumb and shrink into a little immovable ball, or to take a gentle breath, re-connect to this wonderful body of mine and then take a long and honest look at what is behind this giving up feeling. I love the fact that changing the way I feel is only ever a choice away.
I know that one, the ‘too hard’ or ‘can’t be bothered’ comes in a constant chatter in the mind or a picture of what being responsible looks like that freezes my movements. But breathing gently and connecting to my body allows me to spot the falsity of all of this avoidance.
Role-Modelling is huge issue of all of us, whether we are parents or not, children watch and feel everything and they can sniff out a hypocrite from a mile off (as do adults) What do we offer others, more of the same, the (irresponsibility) or true responsibility where we walk our talk and commit to living the same quality of life inside and outside of home…something for us all consider….
Mary Louise your description of how your parents emphasised living responsibly without actually living it themselves, offers the same reflection for anything that we espouse and don’t live, it’s futile. I have spent many years barking at others to live more lovingly from a body devoid of love. Futile
Mary Louise, reading an account on responsibility written by a person who is living it, is so incredibly powerful. I am left feeling inspired and actually wanting to increase my level if responsibility as the way that you have described living responsibly conveys the absolute joy that is inherent in living such a way.
“I would rebel and take as little responsibility as I could. One of my behaviours was to sit on the toilet each night after dinner until the dishes had been done” — when we avoid something, usually it’s the very thing that we’re great at, even a master of (!) And no i’m not talking about the dishes ; ) though that is symbolic too in so much as ‘cleaning up’ being an act of responsibility.
An inspiration as always Mary-Louise. Incredible to read your story and know you now – the turn-around, as a result of your commitment to true responsibility is nothing short of amazing.
Hear hear Katerina – I would venture to guess that the majority would remain in the cycle of their parents. But what a change you’ve made – and with your step up on responsibility it makes it easy to understand things of the past without anger or judgement.
Responsibility is a word that is often mis used, and used in itself irresponsibly. As shared in this blog, we ask others to be responsible in their behaviours yet what are our behaviours role modelling. Responsibility is a way of life, living with a level of awareness, that how i live affects not only me but others. What quality do i bring. As an example, we call tell our children not to drink alcohol but if we are drinking alcohol ourselves what is their responsibility here in the way we role model? Or we can present to our children, if you choose to drink alcohol not only is this what happens to your body, but it leaves you very vulnerable and irresponsible
where you can bring harm to yourself. True responsibility is bringing the love factor into the equation.
Thank you Karoline for noting how the word responsibility is so often misused and misread by the masses. There is a connotation of hardship and a cycle of never ending negativity. What you have presented here is the difference when we add the respect and love of each action is what true responsibility is. It is not about changing who we are but the quality in which we live.
I had to do a double take when I came at the end of this article to find your name, Mary-Louise. Amazing. It really goes to show that a pattern that we see running in a family that we often blame for our poor bebaviour and choices can be broken when another way, a truer way, is reflected. And it never is too late.
Beautiful Mary-Louise – yes, when we understand the true purpose and the role we have here, we make very diffrent decisions. This is such a contrast to following rules simply because ‘we ought to’. What you share makes me stop and see that if we truly feel the direct link between the wars and devastation we see and the way we act, we couldn’t possibly continue to indulge in behaving in an irresponsible way.
I love your point Mary-Louise about how if we are not living the behaviour that we want our children to have then there is no energetic foundation for them to do what we are asking them. That is why we need role models who walk the talk, otherwise everything that is said is just empty words.
I totally love the joy and freedom true responsibility brings. It is a greatly misunderstood and undervalued word.
Thank you for sharing this cameo of your life Mary Louise. I was struck by how much life rolls on from one day to the next in a momentum unless and until we halt it which you certainly have. Halting the momentum and choosing to embrace ourselves fully, accept that we are loveable first to ourselves is being responsible. There is a depth and breadth to self responsibility that is truly healing…
Gorgeously said Bernadette. Thank you.
I never was as rebellious as you describe yourself Mary-Louise, but I know I avoided responsibility as much I could. When I was young I did this by being resentful when asked to do the chores around the house as I always felt it was not asked lovingly, but I also know that my resentment would not have been enjoyable to receive. 10 years ago I would have told you that I was a responsible person but this was based on what I perceived around me. I now know this to be a complete lie, I was responsible for myself and what suited me, a nice house car and respectable job, but I didn’t like to step outside my comfort zone and made excuses or ran a mile from anything that asked me to truly be responsible.
Thank you, Marie-Louise. Awesome article! A loving reflection of being more aware of my true responsibility for the quality in which I approach life. Everything matters. Having a greater awareness of my own amazingness allows me to embrace others in their amazingness.
It is a great trick that we are led to believe responsibility is a burden, that it comes with such negative connotations… when in fact it actually brings a more joyful and fulfilling life!
Great read Mary-Louise, I also feel that I had a similar up bringing. When I look at my life today with what I have done in the past I feel everything needs to be put under the microscope and examined for the lack of responsibility so it can be re-imprinted with true responsibility.
For more on responsibility go to;
http://www.unimedliving.com/search?keyword=RESPONSIBILITY
Taking responsibility for ourselves and our lives – we are the best qualified to do this… we know how to be irresponsible and therefore have to know what it is to be responsible – truly responsible.
There is a great difference in taking responsibility because ‘you have to’ and taking responsibility because you want to. The former cements us in a movement born of drudgery that will at some point down the track invoke an even greater resistance, and the latter opens up to us a way of moving that is in accordance with the greater whole and Universal order we belong to that makes our whole body sing in harmony with this.
And there is nothing that can describe the difference between these two experiences until we choose them for ourselves. There are plenty of reasons to choose the second option, and so very worth trying. After all who wouldn’t prefer their body to feel harmonious instead of tense, sore, exhausted and un-well?
And the second one is all encompassing whereas the first one only has a select list, that are more like rules, that we refer to.
Well said, Liane. The difference for me is so clear. So many times, particularly as a kid, I’ve begrudgingly performed a task – it feels heavy, slow and enduring. On the other hand it feels light, fun and easy when I choose to be responsible because I know it is the part I must play in this life.
Mary Louise, I am so glad you shared with us how you have taken true responsibility, and exposed the many false versions of taking responsibility for what they are. When you described how responsibility was dictated by your parents, I see that not only does it impact your relationship with your parents, it affects how you then decide to live thereafter.
For the parents, taking responsibility meant to do what they wanted you to do. You can be very irresponsible and do what you are told.
And so beautiful that Mary Louise healed any resentment toward her parents with the understanding that they did the best they could with the role models they had learnt from.