My Turnaround from Competitive Running to Connection with Me

During my late 20’s I took up competitive running. I joined a local running club and trained twice a week with the club, adding 3 or 4 sessions at home. Depending on what I was training for, I would run up to 60km per week.

I sometimes enjoyed my training but I always enjoyed when the weekends came and I could compete in races. I would enter races from 5km up to 50km and also hill races. Continue reading “My Turnaround from Competitive Running to Connection with Me”

From a False Identity to Discovering the Real Me

Growing up as a young child, up until the age of six I lived in an environment of constant fighting between my parents. I could feel there was much anger and resentment between them. My siblings and I experienced physical violence and constant verbal and emotional abuse. My mother often lashed out verbally or physically in frustration, rage or resentment at us. Continue reading “From a False Identity to Discovering the Real Me”

Giving Your Power Away: Why Being ‘Good’ Doesn’t Work

I made a choice in my childhood to give my power away in exchange for some attention, the second best thing to love, or so I thought. In essence, I wanted to be seen by my parents and I wanted their affection, so I found a way where I knew I could make this happen. Continue reading “Giving Your Power Away: Why Being ‘Good’ Doesn’t Work”

Who I Really Am

A few years ago the expression “Become who I really am” came to my awareness and slowly transformed into a life-changing revelation. When I first heard it, I felt empowered; it was like a call to become who I always intuitively knew I was. However, it didn´t stop there – it got complicated as I went through a lot of thinking:

  • Who was I really? If normally I am not who I really am, then who am I most of the time?
  • Am I being invalidated in some way?
  • Is someone going to know who I am, better than I do?

Continue reading “Who I Really Am”

Truth about Little White Lies

When I was a child I often heard the expression “little white lie”. It was used for justification when children caught and called out adults for telling lies. Adults often responded with “it’s a little white lie,” which was supposed to mean that adults could tell lies when the intention was somehow ‘good’, like not telling the full truth to a child in case it was “too much for them,” or doctoring the truth to an authority to smooth relations and not get into trouble…. How dreadful is that?! Continue reading “Truth about Little White Lies”

Imperfect

per·fec·tion / pərˈfekSH(ə)n/  the condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects.

The idea of being perfect once offered me something finite – a finish, closure, an end. It was something I could strive for and achieve. An expected goal. It was an old familiar feeling and very comfortable, however it was a form of imprisonment. Continue reading “Imperfect”