800 thoughts on “Haunted by the Desire to not Live: Finding my Way back to My True Self”

1. After seeing my father die when I was 9 and the misery I went through suicidal thoughts never had an opportunity as Life was cherished. Now adding the Ageless Wisdom teachings as presented by Serge Benhayon life is cherished to the maximum as True Love 💓 will always deepen the appreciation we have with our God given body through being Soul-fully connected.

2. What has been raised here is a concern in the state of affairs the world is at. Suicide has no doubt increased since this blog was written. Why has this rate increased, and if anything we need to be knowing in particular why men are suiciding?

   
Is there a possibility that around the world most humans are not being allowed to be their true selves, and in that state of being, we have lost ourselves. This yearning leaves us empty and very few people actually understand us because most probably are in their dilemma too.

   Well thank God for Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and Esoteric practitioners. It is from this that many have turned their lives around, not over night either. For me personally my life looks so much different to how it used to be, I’ve finally become more and more acquainted to me and myself and in that knowing of who I am, I take that for the world to see. This reflection is an opportunity for others, whether they take it or not is the choice they have too. The world is a different place, how are we viewing it?

3. It’s when we believe we are alone that extreme measures are an option. Once we can feel a connection, with another or ourselves then things can start to heal.

   1. Feeling alone is purposefully fed to us for that exact reason, to keep us disconnected from others. When we are connected to ourselves, those thoughts don’t have power Can you fathom, if we were in that state of connection, how the world will then be? WOW!

4. Once we have this understanding, we then have a choice to do something about it, ‘the biggest hurdle, however, was coming to the understanding that although the actions and abuse from others may have felt cruel and loveless, what hurt me so much more was becoming trapped in a cycle of self-abuse for which I was actually responsible.’

5. What you have shared to me feels like a miracle actually; to be in such a depth of despair to then manage with support to bring yourself out into the daylight again and see that life is very much worth living. When we allow those negative thoughts in it is extremely difficult to stop them as they take hold and we don’t seem to realise that our bodies become configured in a way so that not only are our thought polluted but the whole body as well so we move in the despair which compounds the negative thoughts. It’s a vicious circle.

6. A very heartfelt sharing MAS – this blog shows that things can indeed be turned around – with the willingness to do so but also with true support from around. Our well-being as individuals and as a community and society is a collective responsibility.

7. What we do and achieve on the outside is not necessarily reflective of true joy and harmony that can be found on the inside. Appearances can be misleading and this happens when we do not tune into the quality of energy that we have chosen to do the things we do on the outside. Hence without paying attention to the quality of energy, we can then be shocked by someone taking their life – rather than realising that on some level we knew of the emptiness that they were feeling.

8. Suicide is a means for some to call out for help – but these people have not felt that they can express things in another way. Where have we come to as a society if the pressures are so great and the expression so stunted that we choose to take a life rather than speak up and call out for support? This is a collective responsibility.

9. The statistics you present are horrific MAS and shows me that there is seriously something amiss in the way we are living, that people are in such a dark place of despair that they feel this is the only way to stop the pain and misery they are feeling. You are showing the world that by understanding that you have a responsibility towards yourself that you are not a victim you have been able to rebuild your life and engage back into the world and by writing this blog you offer support to others to find their way back too.

10. “I had given up on myself, believing I was unworthy of love, and made myself insignificant for over 20 years. So much time was spent obsessing and hanging on to my hurts, instead of nurturing and caring for myself deeply, and allowing myself the chance to just let go and shine.” This paragraph could relate to much of the human race, we feel so ill equipped to deal with the abuses and traumas we experience, yet the way out is so simple, by self care and treating ourselves with the gentleness and preciousness we would a young child. It’s a wake up call reading your blog again as I can see where I am still preoccupied with hurts and not committing to taking more responsibility with my own self care and self love.

    1. Melinda you raise a valid point that we are preoccupied with the hurts that we carry around which give rise to the feelings of worthlessness and these feelings just seem to drag people down into a pit of self loathing that can then be very hard to get out of.

11. How beautiful to welcome yourself back to the love of who you are.

12. These statistics are shocking to say the least and should be setting off alarm bells throughout communities. Thank you MAS for beginning this conversation and highlighting this important subject, as it supports and inspires others who may be struggling as well to feel there is another way to live.

    1. Statistics are good to have a look at for they can be very confronting indeed. When numbers are placed in front of us we cannot deny them.

13. “So much time was spent obsessing and hanging on to my hurts, instead of nurturing and caring for myself deeply, and allowing myself the chance to just let go and shine”. I am really coming to see how debilitating our hurts are. When we hang onto and nurture them, we refuse to be the amazing beings we are. We each have our own timing in dealing with them, but to just know that they are our greatest enemy in life opens up the possibility to heal them.

    1. Yes, it is important to choose to heal our hurts and let them go, otherwise they can take over and contribute to feelings of worthlessness.

14. Being able to feel one loves oneself is true healing.

15. This is such a great sharing of how we can resurrect ourselves with true care and support, thank you so much for sharing your inspiring story, it shows that we always matter and we’re always worth caring for.

16. Thank you MAS for your honesty. So many people live with thoughts of killing themselves so to have someone present that there is a way to get out of this is truly supportive for so many people. Thank you once again.

    1. Spot on Elizabeth – deeply inspiring for someone who has been rock bottom to turn things around and be the role model to show that it indeed can be done and in a loving way without rah rah or drive, but simply with a re-igniting of ones own love within.

    2. It is inspiring, the level of honesty and transparency that MAS shared on this subject in this blog.

17. Although I was never at the level of despair that you share MAS I can, however, relate to your feeling that nothing or no one could satisfy or resolve the feeling of something ‘not right” with me and so I came to point of just accepting that I had to just live with that. So it was a total shock and surprise when I felt and was offered something different by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. I now know and feel that there is nothing wrong with me, in fact the complete opposite – what a joy.

18. Longing for one’s own life to end is a clear sign that we have come to be ultra fixated on a point in which we feel there are no alternatives. The possibility to end life as I came to know it is not even an option. The attraction of that point is paramount. Our movements help us not to move away from it.

19. Only this morning I read a news story about a young man attacking random strangers with a knife because he had believed he was completely worthless. Although not necessarily acting it out in such extreme manners, so many of us seem to be existing with a sense of lack/absence of self-worth when in fact it is all about being disconnected with who we truly are and getting trapped in hurt. What Universal Medicine offers is exactly what humanity needs.

    1. Absolutely, what Serge Benhayon shares is so needed for all of humanity.

20. It is easy and somewhat understandable to say that the world has hurt us and is a harsh place to be and there is a truth in this but when we start really looking at how we are with ourselves we realise that in fact we are perhaps far more abusive to ourselves than the world is and that this is what hurts us most of all. This is huge because we can actually do something about it!

    1. Thanks for your comment Andrew, I agree, we can spend our whole lives isolating certain hurtful experiences and focusing on them, and because our focus is not on ourselves we may not see our own self abuse, and that the key to a joyful life comes from living our own self love.

       1. Yes and I have found the more deeply I hold myself and take tender care of myself and understand who I am the less hurt I feel from other’s actions and reactions!

21. This is a powerful awareness to come to MAS ‘what hurt me so much more was becoming trapped in a cycle of self-abuse for which I was actually responsible.’ So true, the hurt we feel from being self-abusive can feel far greater than how others have harmed us.

22. These statistics are shocking! Including men over the age of 85 who have lived their whole life only to then take it in their elder years. This alone tells us there is something deeply wrong in how we are living it should never be like this. And it makes me wonder if we as humanity understood more about the truth in life in that it does not end with our one life but is in fact a continuous cycle (in other words we come back to what we have not healed) maybe we would no longer look to suicide for a way out or as an option. There were a few times in my life when I was younger where I felt I no longer wanted to be here and I felt I did not have anyone in my life I could talk to about this who would truly get me or meet me and I feel this is our downfall where we are not truly giving ourselves the space to truly re-connect to us or to unpack what does not feel right and also not giving the time or space to truly meet and connect with others even if it was on a street with someone who is homeless, on a train or with a neighbour many of us tend to just walk on by in our ‘busy’ lives. We have so much to learn, heal and change here.

23. Our suicide stats are scary and should be waking us all up to the fact that people are feeling lonely and disconnected from each other. Committing to addressing the root cause of this major societal issue is vital for the health of our society – we are losing too many people to the ripple effect of its despair in both those that suicide and those that it leaves behind.

24. And as a massive reflection of what is still happening in the world… Suicide rates in so many societies and professions are escalating… It’s like this is the ultimate reflection that something is truly not working.

25. “and there it was – the feeling of LOVE inside my body.” A magic moment that is there for us all when we connect to the Love of the inner-heart.

26. When you carry a deep hurt in you, you tend to fly under the radar because ‘it is safer’. But this cuts both ways: it might help you to avoid this happening to you again… may be, but it also guarantees that the issue is safely stored within you and stays there affecting you in every way. In truth, the best way to go about a deep hurt is to heal it and from there to move in your magnificence. If you deeply renounce what is there to be renounced, the healing will take place and you will not be touched by it again.

27. The question that arises for me tonight is ‘we’re you seeking to end it all, or was there a deeper seeking to understand that was at the core of your being? For understanding is what came to you. Does this not offer us an insight into our lives and the reality in which we find ourselves? Could it be that each experience is bought to us to give us an opportunity to understand? That it is our choice then as to whether we do understand and evolve, or remain locked in our heads, and seek instead to escape.

28. MAS this is totally inspirational for many. When darkness has taken it’s hold it can feel like there is no end. Hearing stories like yours allows light to start to flood in.

29. What is shared in this article shows us so innately just how it is but our own thoughts and beliefs that take us to the point of depression and suicide. Often there will be a trigger, but that alone holds no power, unless we give it power with our own self destructive thoughts.

30. Yes, it does hurt when we accept and recognise that we abuse ourselves, bringing tenderness, care, honouring and love consistently to ourselves helps to break this pattern of behaviour.

31. ‘By allowing this fragility I give myself the chance to return more easily to an inner strength and sense of wellbeing, enabling me to come back to myself more easily.’ Wow MAS this shows how far you have come, allowing yourself to feel fragile is the opposite of the hard and critical shut down person.

32. Amazing transformation, and it all starts with how we are with ourselves, ‘ The path to love and joy came from the simple act of introducing true self-care and self-love into my life, and what I discovered was how much I really do matter.’ Gorgeous.

33. Absolutely incredible MAS. Suicide leaves much pain and anguish in it’s wake and it’s completely unnecessary as it solves nothing. The only way to escape the pain we feel is through a commitment to being the love that we are

34. Thank you for sharing MAS about what you were offered with the psychologist who introduced you to self care and the difference it made, ‘ True self-care involved embracing a deeply loving and nurturing quality in all my movements and activities throughout the day. It meant being aware of my body, ensuring I was gentle when I typed on the computer, or in the way I poured hot water for my tea, tender as I engaged with another, or as I lay myself to rest.’

35. What great advice and wisdom you offer here MAS – that when we feel hurt by something to actually not harden or go into self-abusive behaviours but to really honour our fragility and delicateness and sensitivity.

36. MAS I agree that however horrible others have been towards us, what hurts the most is when we disregard and are unkind towards ourselves.

    1. Very true Debra. I have found that abuse is a contract I say yes to. If I abuse myself it allows others to abuse me and I get affected. If I love myself others may attack in jealousy but I am not affected so much if I read it for what it is.

37. To have a life of abuse and to then come out of a dark place and seek true healing is very inspiring. Being consumed and controlled by emotions is exhausting, and the introduction of a simple approach of self care, to the things we do every day like folding towels, showering, walking etc are a momentous start to true healing. We know its not natural behaviour to be lying in a bed unwilling to engage with the world, to be unwilling to work, and be so lost in our own thoughts – and these ways you have shared are very empowering and free of judgement because they bring it back to something any human being can relate to.

38. “By reclaiming my life and returning to my true self, I am able to feel the many beautiful moments that present each day that confirm to me that we are all from love and that there can be joy in life..” This is beautiful MAS – what a way you have come, as have many students of The Way of the Livingness.

39. “True self-care involved embracing a deeply loving and nurturing quality in all my movements and activities throughout the day. It meant being aware of my body, ensuring I was gentle ….” Giving this quality of love and care to ourselves not only supports our own body – and life – but then reflects out to others that different choices are possible for them too.

40. MAS that was so gorgeous to feel you reawaken to to all the love that you are. It ignited a deep appreciation within me for the love I have rediscovered. It’s a great sharing to show that we are always love within and that it is our experiences that have clouded the love we all hold. And that the only way back to this love is our own steps and responsibility.

41. I have found myself back here, reading your blog and wanting to get a deeper understanding of the reasons why suicide is considered an answer and once again I can see the theme in everything I am reading. There is a feeling of not being able to deal with the hurt, of self-imposed isolation but not consciously so, there is a harshness and a constant self-critique. The support you were offered is so different but I really love the approach because it gave you the power to turn your life around and that is something that is with you 24 hours a day and in your darkest moments.

42. The depth of despair is palpable in your writing – but you turned the corner and changed your life, you took responsibility and realised that the biggest hurt and deepest pain are about what we do to ourselves and let happen without speaking up. It’s the complicity that cuts the deepest.

43. “Nowadays if I feel hurt by something that has happened in my life, I allow myself time to feel the fragility that is in my body and I nurture myself with tenderness instead of abusing myself.”
    The simple truth is we have choice in how we treat ourselves and others and this sentence is the essence of understanding which is the first point of call in accepting ourselves and life the way it is today.

44. “True self-care involved embracing a deeply loving and nurturing quality in all my movements and activities throughout the day.” Self-care is worth discovering for the deeper layers of how we do what we do, it is not for show, it is a relationship we have with ourselves and is with us in every moment. Yet what transpires from that level of attention to detail has a ripple effect that is felt in areas we have not consciously tried to affect. An experiment I now see is an opportuity to share with others we can be the change we want to see in the world, an enormous support to the many who, like you, have considered suicide as the only way out of the pain.

45. I wonder if this awareness will be more widely accepted in trauma counselling? The world has amped up mans inhumanity to man and I am struck by two points there, there has to be one to be abusive to another, so are we all on the receiving end or could we have a responsibility to revisit and question much of our behaviour? The second point is, if we don’t support those who have been on the receiving end of this trauma, then there would be a large proportion of our society nursing these wounds, the consequence of which is evident from your blog.

46. What a gift for all of us, “By allowing this fragility I give myself the chance to return more easily to an inner strength and sense of wellbeing, enabling me to come back to myself more easily.” This fragility is an enormous strength and offers the opportunity to heal so much that has been taking us in a self-negating cycle holding us back from engaging with ourselves, others and the world.

    1. Well said Lucy for generally being fragile is seen as a weakness, of being less than what we should be, yet the irony is that when we do that we are rejecting ourselves as fragility is our true nature.

47. I love that you noticed the moment where you felt love for yourself.

48. To me, the main issue with mainstream counselling is that they focus on a problem, on what is seemingly wrong with the patient, which only confirms that something is wrong for them. Where as, any conversation you have with Serge Benhayon or other Universal Medicine practitioners is very confirming of who you are as a being in essence first, and in that purity of being met, there is space to feel that there is nothing wrong, only things in the way of being who you are.

49. Thank you MAS for the reminder again today that self care – a nurturing quality in all of our movements – can be the foundation for everything else – our relationships, and anything that we might do.

50. The numbers you share here are just shocking. If we think of a suicide as an extreme display of not wanting to be – not wanting to be at school/work/in the world etc. and/or simply being oneself – a form of withdrawing from life, non-commitment, I am not sure if we have many people left unscathed by that energy.

51. ‘True self-care involved embracing a deeply loving and nurturing quality in all my movements and activities throughout the day.’ For me this is the key that opened the door on true self-care rather than seeing nurturing as a tick box exercise. Being willing to feel what my body is asking for at any given moment is a whole new level of responsibility which I can still choose to ignore and revert to old patterns. The simplicity of knowing that I can return to myself just by the choice of my next movement is deeply healing.

52. This is a truly inspirational turnaround and deserves to be widely read because as the shocking statistics about suicide indicate being haunted by a desire to not be alive is alarmingly widespread in society today. The commitment you have shown to yourself and the acceptance of where you were and the steps necessary to bring about deep self-healing with appropriate support are a blueprint for how we can reach out to the many who are still suffering.

53. The support of Esoteric Healing including counselling from an accredited Esoteric Practitioner is without a doubt exceptional. It can make issues that seem insurmountable or even impossible able to be faced in the clear light of day.

54. I love the process you dedicated yourself to, to step by step introduce self-care to your daily life and make it a rhythm that strengthens you with every step you take. It takes dedication and love to bring us out from the deeply ingrained behaviours that we have adapted. There is no miracle pill but loving care applied every day will let us choose this loving care more naturally.

55. “Nowadays if I feel hurt by something that has happened in my life, I allow myself time to feel the fragility that is in my body and I nurture myself with tenderness instead of abusing myself.” This is so beautiful to read MAS. I have spent so much of my life not wanting to feel the hurt – which only returns to bite me on the bum. Dealing with it at the time – feeling the vulnerability – enables me to move on through the hurt and come out the other side. Just recently I have so many opportunities to put this into practices as it seems that old patterns are re-presenting themselves to enable me to now fully heal them.

56. Thank you for sharing MAS. It is so interesting how when we have been abused in any way our first port of call is to add to that abuse ourselves. We meet abuse with abuse and this just perpetrates the cycle until we break that cycle by making the moves towards loving and caring for ourselves in the way that we truly deserve to be loved and this changes everything. There is definitely a science in this.

    1. It is tremendous what you are pointing out here Kathleen. We are so used to meeting that what comes towards us with the same quality, like an eye for an eye, but what we need to understand is that we can change the quality and only by changing the quality can we bring true change. And the most beautiful thing is that we do not need anyone for it but can all start with ourselves.

57. I too shut down my light because I allowed the reactions from others to affect me. I felt that when another reacted to me it was always their fault and so I would create dramas and issues instead of observing and reading the situation. As I step up and express and take responsibility for what is being asked of me the easier it is getting. I have seen and felt the reactions time and time again from others but I am choosing to observe and not allow them to get a hold like they used to. It is so liberating when I express that which not so long ago I would have held back.

58. This is a great lesson in recognizing that it is not the outside world that crushes us regardless of the cruelty endured… but rather the cycle of self abuse we choose to embrace. The power of it’s opposite – self love, cannot be underestimated in it’s ability to heal anything that has come before… and although it may take a while to embody… it is absolutely worth the love that we eventually feel within…. no matter how long it takes.

59. These statistics speak for themselves, it’s quite shocking how many suicides take place. Beautiful to read how you found a psychologist who was able to introduce you back to your true connection.

60. Such a powerful blog MAS, very compelling and inspiring. The strength you show and resilience to be prepared to start the healing process once the opportunity arose is amazing.

61. MAS I find all of your writing so honest and authentic, as well as very inspirational. You communicate with truth the way abuse affects human beings and the practicalities of self care and what Universal Medicine offers, and how truly healing this is. Universal Medicine offers a whole new foundation for psychology and mental health services, as it’s about returning to and living from the amazing love we each naturally are, not just arresting the intruding beliefs and emotions.

62. How many people on this earth today think it is safer to hide in or bury their sadness and try and go unnoticed all the time haunted by a dark cloud of despair and unresolved hurt that follows and hovers over all that they do. How many more are caught up in the mentality that they are too broken to fix. There is nothing that we cannot heal and all it takes to initiate anyone on the pathway to healing is to have one person ignite them so they know there is another way.

63. We can be so despaired living our life and not seeing any way out but as you describe here there is a way out of this mess and it starts with ourselves by step by step learning to self-love and self-care. It is simple and yet mostly not so easy to apply as we feel surrounded by so much lovelessness. But as soon as we make the first loving steps toward our self we will find that these loving gestures have a strength that will carry us with every step more.

64. This is a great sharing MAS! There will be many who find this blog extremely helpful and perhaps life saving .If we are in this dark space it takes as while for true change to happen, therefore many give up before any true result can be felt. Education on this subject is so important and true support of this person without judgement or expectation. As mentioned self care is so important in our lives and our need to love and value ourselves.

65. One of the greatest lessons we can ever learn: “True self-care involves embracing a deeply loving and nurturing quality in all my movements and activities throughout the day.” When I think of this one simple lesson being taught to all children I smile, as I can see a world that eventually will live in harmony, as caring for ourselves deeply, naturally has the most wonderful ripple effect, flowing on out to those around us in many life changing ways.

66. Hello MAS and I may have already mentioned this but I was also haunted by suicidal thoughts before Universal Medicine and truly taking care of myself. The focus was on doing or achieving and not on love and care for myself first. I have come to see that I can do anything so long as I am connecting deeply to that love and care first. After all it’s pretty hard to bring something to someone you aren’t doing yourself. You can do it but everyone else around you doesn’t get the feeling, they just get words from your lips. At times I am in the wonder of why and at this point again is a stop point to bring a deeper love and care first. At any point you feel a block or an unknown we should all return to the known, love and care. This is where this blog will take me to today, back to the love and care thank you MAS.

67. Thank you MAS for sharing your story of how you came back to yourself again by treating yourself tenderly and lovingly, with deep care and nurturing. The abuse that we give to ourselves and lock ourselves into with our repetitive thoughts and actions can be far more damaging than the abuse from others – but how empowering to know and feel, without any self-criticism, that we are responsible for perpetuating it or changing the record, through our movements.

68. True self care is about the quality of our movements.. this is something I am recently beginning to understand – that self care isn’t limited to an activity – i.e. having a nurturing bath or cooking myself some supportive food, but about the energy and quality that I’m moving in, in each moment.

69. “By reclaiming my life and returning to my true self, I am able to feel the many beautiful moments that present each day that confirm to me that we are all from love and that there can be joy in life” A beautiful welcoming back to you.

70. “It was safer for me to hide in my sadness and go unnoticed, or so I thought.”
    As I read this sentence I pondered, is it an epidemic in society, I know it was how I lived for many years. Not speaking what I felt, feeling sad, lost and alone, in a world of people. It was not that I didn’t have family and friends around, I did. But I was not letting them get to know me, so I felt constantly like I was a lone ranger in a sea of people. Could taking the step to simply share ourselves from how we really feel be a tonic to this? It has been for me. What was the hardest was first if all accepting that I didn’t have it all together, like I thought I should. Overcoming this hurdle to truly connecting with myself and subsequently others has changed me, or has it? Is it now that I show the world who I am, and ask the question, what was I living before?

71. Why are we running away from suicide? I know we are doing a lot but why is it not having an impact? The school of thought currently is if one life is saved then this is a good result but it’s not true. We have more and more people resorting to ending their lives which in turn has a huge impact on those around them. I remember being in this position with thoughts of suicide and while I never followed them through obviously it was a full on time. The thing that held me was knowing the impact that my single decision would have on others around me, it didn’t seem fair to them. I have seen many people in bad situations and we need to do more and it’s not just ok to have helplines and call centres for people. Why are more and more choosing this? More so why are we spending millions of dollars on dropping the road toll and it’s advertised regularly on it’s impacts and what they are doing but we hear little about this. Each holiday in place of the Easter and Christmas road toll we should see the stats on suicide. It’s like we are in a way more comfortable for people to be kill on the roads or at least hear about it. To state the obvious, more on this is needed.

72. Thank you for sharing your story here. It has really struck me this morning as I am reading so much on suicide just how foundational what you are sharing here is. It gives a very practical place to start to rebuild.

73. ‘The psychologist encouraged me to treat myself like I was 3 years old again – delicate, precious, gentle and tender”. To be supported by the psychologist to feel these parts of yourself again and trust they were still part of you was a true blessing and inspires us to connect to who we truly are, rather than who we have become.

74. MAS a tender moving exploration of your journey to self healing. You confirm that no matter how deep the hurt or broken the feeling we have inside, with commitment to self-care we can bring ourselves back.

75. Thank you MAS such an amazing insight into what true self care is and how we can choose to either nurture our hurts or take deep loving care of us, and no matter where we are or have been we can do this as your amazing story shows – thank you.

76. Thank for sharing how simple steps of self-care and the loving support from others can bring us back to a life that we want to live and no longer need to dread.

77. “I had given up on myself, believing I was unworthy of love, and made myself insignificant for over 20 years.” This line stand out for me this morning as it sounds so horrible to live like that. but when I am honest I know that I lived like that too, and as with me many people. We as a society have to stop and ask ourselves why so many people give up on themselves and instead develop a way of living that looks more like surviving life instead of a celebration of life for the beauty and wonderfulness it is offering us every moment of the day.

78. Self love meaning a gentle, delicate, loving supportive way of – being, feeling, acting and thinking about, towards and with self – is such a powerful and beautiful way to choose to live.

79. Thank you MAS for sharing this powerful blog. The statistics you’ve shared are shocking, this one ‘Suicide was the leading cause of death of Australian children aged between 5 and 17’, I find it very difficult to comprehend how children as young as 5 years old could fall under this category. What is really going on in our societies, our homes and in our lives if this is the leading cause of death for this age group? Your blog supports us to understand a bit more about what can support us to heal our hurts so we don’t inflict abuse and more hurts onto others. You show us that it is certainly possible to let go of our hurts and heal, allowing ourselves to feel the love that emanates from within and share this with humanity. With the support of self-love, self-care and self-nurture, we can learn to let go of self-abuse which will naturally lead us to be open to reconnecting love instead of abuse.

80. It is interesting when we have experienced trauma, deep hurts or negative thoughts we tend to identify with them as being who we are often creating a more negative experience or worse the thoughts of suicide. Understanding that those negative experiences are not us but is energy we have let through us from the emptiness of our hurts is liberating as it allows us to bring more awareness and commitment to our own bodies where true healing starts.

81. Thank you for this amazing blog. These statistics for suicide in Australia are huge and I have to admit I have had my ‘head in the sand’ so to speak and not be aware of how many people this affects, let alone all the associated family and friends. Although when I relate it back to those I have known to commit suicide, the figures make absolute sense.
    It is beautiful to feel how you have opened up to yourself again. I can relate to this – the support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and my own daily simple choices for how I move and be in the day, certainly make a profound difference.
    Thank you for not letting suicide be a hidden and unspoken matter.

82. Feeling love inside our own body, not from outside or from another is a seeming miracle, and yet it is now my daily normal, as it could be for all of humanity.

83. As I read your blog MAS I realised that you don’t necessarily have to be suicidal to have no commitment to life.

84. There is a line in the blog… something about after three years you felt love in your body. I’ve had a similar experience in the last couple of years but there was a different word… I felt God in me. It was on the one hand spectacular as its something I’ve always known to be true and possible but at the same time it was also very ordinary and simple. It takes time to develop but there is nothing like it.

85. how many of us are self-harming and are self-destructive in so much more subtle, but nevertheless devastating ways… and you know every one who chooses the path of return will be met with equality and non-judgement, because we all have walked those roads before.

86. No matter what happens to us in life our response is our choice and we can live as victims to our abuse and be driven by our hurts, or we can take responsibility and choose to re-connect with our essence and understand our hurts are not who we truly are and let them go. This has been possible for me with the support of esoteric practitioners but until I discovered Universal Medicine I was stuck in my self-loathing self-abusive way of living.

87. It seems almost contradictory that we have such high suicide rates in this world today and that they are still increasing in the face of something so simple as self love which is always available for us in any given moment to choose to live. This is what hurt can do when we choose to give it any power. It can block our awareness of what we can actually do to truly heal.

88. How beautiful it was to read of the moment that you felt the love for yourself for the first time. It brought tears to my eyes as it reminded me, like you, how far I have come from the time in my life where self love and self care were in the main, absent. To finally be able to feel that love for our precious self and know that this is all we need to begin to make changes in our lives is the most wonderfully warm and all encompassing feeling of joy.

89. Thank you MAS, I really appreciate this bit ‘Nowadays if I feel hurt by something that has happened in my life, I allow myself time to feel the fragility that is in my body and I nurture myself with tenderness instead of abusing myself.’ what I have noticed is that if I do not let myself feel that hurt, and fragile, I am more likely to take it out on someone else, blaming them for my being hurt. It wouldn’t matter if they were actually responsible or not. Now that I write that I can see this is what I experience from others too. A kind of dumping for relief which perpetuates the cycle of abuse. To take the lead and stop the cycle by simply building self love it a gift for all.

90. Dear MAS,
    I am re reading your article tonight and this paragraph is an absolute life changer, realising this has and to this day and beyond will continue to change my life.
    “Perhaps the biggest hurdle, however, was coming to the understanding that although the actions and abuse from others may have felt cruel and loveless, what hurt me so much more was becoming trapped in a cycle of self-abuse for which I was actually responsible.”

91. Thank you for sharing your story MAS. . .” . . what hurt me so much more was becoming trapped in a cycle of self-abuse for which I was actually responsible.” This is what hurt me the most also. This is a great pattern to break as it wears you down until, in my case, I had completely given up on life. . Very inspiring blog.

92. The statistics here alone alert us to the fact that the reality of suicide isn’t going away soon. Indeed it is already escalating to epidemic proportions – and just as alarmingly, across all age groups.

93. Love the sentence…”will any darkness in our lives disappear :). Its so important what is expressed in this blog and that we really look deeper and see the bigger picture coming out of our own comforts…dear I really loved your moment where you felt true love for yourself. So inspiring. I notice that there is so much controll that I chose to let go and be more aware of and a bigger understanding for myself. Everytime when I can let go and just be and observe like a child lovingly…pure and innocent it feels so joyfull and light and easy. Every marker and every step I take gets me more to this lovely place inside. We are all love and its such a present to us all…we are all together… this amazing love and being we are completely unique in expression and so perfectly imperfect.

94. I always thought that suicidal thoughts were something that you could not easily get rid of, and that this mood had become the person. But I have changed my mind.. I got to understand that ‘suicidal thoughts, emotions/moods’ are actually not the person themselves – but the person choosing the energy of darkness and pain that then results in having thoughts and emotions of suicide, and possibly the actions that lead from these thoughts. It is so important to understand what is going on in order to tackle the hurt(s) that are driving us to have these thoughts.

95. This is important, I have not read many stories like this to be honest. Even though we see on the news the horrific stories – they are a cry for help, yet we did not find the answer when we look at that, and or have not found a way to truly cope with this and build steady support. But this blog might give us the answer.. The answer must be sought within..

96. When we connect to our inner stillness we are able to feel that any way that is lived less than our preciousness is abusive.

97. Thank you MAS for this honest account of how you turned your life around. This could be many peoples story and the real gold in this is that you were able to make the choices to turn things around and find your preciousness beneath the hurt. This is an inspiration to all, as many choose suicide and leave a trail of destruction behind.

98. Absolutely Brendan. Not just in community groups but in our homes and at our work places too as by not talking about these issues and making the most of the opportunities to we are actually holding ourselves as a society back

99. ‘In these instances no-one reached out to talk about the way they were feeling and, as I reflect back, I didn’t reach out either.’ This is becoming a common problem particularly throughout schools, where depression is on the rise, through cyber-bullying, and bullying in general, young people don’t feel able to talk about what is really going on, and as a result try to deal with it as best they can, often leading to self-harm and suicide as a last resort.

100. Universal Medicine builds bridges for everyone back to a place within where we can again treasure our lives and our bodies

101. Wow thank you Mas, what an amazing and informative sharing. I too like many others, may I suggest have had suicidal thoughts. Many years ago I found support and compassion from a psychologist. With statistics so high this is in epidemic proportions. Your blog will and is so so very inspiring and truly supportive showing a living way through discipline, responsibility and your self loving choices, how even a hurdle as huge as this came be overcome.

102. Nurture myself with tenderness not abuse; these word really stood out for me today, words that I will remember and be inspired by, thank you MAS
     I also loved your description of self-care;
     “True self-care involved embracing a deeply loving and nurturing quality in all my movements and activities throughout the day”.

103. A great article MAS, I had no idea the suicide statistics were so high, especially amongst children. These statistics should be sending alarm messages through communities everywhere to address the state of children’s health and well-being and how we can bring about true change to this very real and harming issue. Your choice to heal your hurts MAS and reconnect to your true self is a beautiful story and shows us what is possible when we begin to truly love ourselves.

104. This is a great article which bring awareness to suicide and depression, with staggering statistics they definitely got my attention. It is statistics like this, and your article that bring home the reality that there are more suicides, and people dealing with suicidal thoughts, and depression than most of us realise.

105. ‘Perhaps the biggest hurdle, however, was coming to the understanding that although the actions and abuse from others may have felt cruel and loveless, what hurt me so much more was becoming trapped in a cycle of self-abuse for which I was actually responsible.’ This is a huge turnaround MAS to accept and allow ourselves to feel we are responsible for everything in our lives without any judgement what so ever but that feeling fragile is the answer when we feel hurt by what is happening. Life is an ongoing learning to let go of the hardness and hurts and let love in and out.

106. It is the greatest tragedy that we harden and toughen up to protect ourselves when we are hurting when in fact this is the exact opposite to what we truly need – to be able to return to that openness and tenderness is what brings us back to our own true selves – staying open to others and to love is our greatest protection. It is easier too that we can see what is underneath the actions of others and can stay unaffected.

107. I find the 10% increase in 4 years for child suicide is really shocking and how that is not on the front pages of newspapers is baffling. Unless we accept that we really prefer to pretend that life is fine and not to disturb us unless it comes to our door. One suicide is one too many.

     1. Absolutely Vanessa, it’s time we all woke up to what’s going on, and stopped pretending otherwise.

108. It was really healing for me to re-read your words MAS as I can feel how much I too have been a harsh judge of myself. I can see more and more that we are responsible for how we treat ourselves and that committing to loving ourselves, as you have done, is one of the most beautiful things we can do. Through our choice to love ourselves we confirm who we are and begin to see the truth that we are all we ever need to be, shining this out into the world for all to feel. Life can feel cruel if we wait for those in it to love, recognise and value us, it all comes back to loving ourselves first.

109. What I have found shocking to understand recently also, is how the media has stopped reporting on a lot of incidence in suicide – in particular in rural Australia with farmers struggling with drought situations and with children at schools. The reasoning behind the non-reportage is to arrest a trend – by learning others commit suicide gives permission for then more others to do the same. What this shows me is how many people in the world live with these intense giving up thoughts and wishing to totally check-out from the world. This is a terrible reflection of the state of the condition of where people are really at in the world.

110. Perhaps if there was more conversation around the understanding of life and reincarnation we would make wiser choices and know that suicide is in fact not a way out – but a further entrapment into the undealth-with hurts that led the person to that choice.

111. Thank you MAS, I loved reading your blog again. The commitment you have made to yourself is truly inspiring, “The path to love and joy came from the simple act of introducing true self-care and self-love into my life, and what I discovered was how much I really do matter. I am no longer haunted by the desire to not live, but feeling a newfound commitment to fully embrace what life has to offer, including its twists and turns.”

112. “This memorable experience came as a wonderful surprise, for the emotional heaviness that had been slowly dissipating over the previous few years had gone, leaving me to feel the loveliness of my true self.”…this line is heaven sent. Another miracle showing what hapens when a student decides to really commit to themselves and to their own healing and ably supported by Universal Medicine.

     1. Indeed Sarah. The sentence shared in the article which is often a stop moment to help bring self love back into our lives, is to hold ourselves as if we were our three year old selves. It helps us to connect to the sweetness, fragility and loveliness of who we are. And we have not changed since that point – that loveliness is still there at the dawn of each of our days. To keep coming back to this is incredibly supportive when we have resorted back to the negative feelings we have taken on about ourselves.

113. Thank you MAS, this is very inspiring to read – “The path to love and joy came from the simple act of introducing true self-care and self-love into my life, and what I discovered was how much I really do matter. ” I am on that point now , of starting to take in the possibility that I do matter. and with that, taking even more care with and for myself , and giving myself the attention that i need, that I am worthy and deserving to do that for myself.

114. This is a great Read MAS, thank you for sharing that what you lived for such a long time, the hurts we can hold onto for so long.. While the care and gentleness with ourselves brings a true understanding of the beauty we are. There can be love in everything we do.

115. I know for myself now if I have moved away from myself and have become stuck in the thoughts going on in my head, bringing it back to tenderness and being more gentle with myself and in what I do is a great tool to bring me back to me again. But this has come from a consistent choice to do that for myself, before I knew about the importance of self love and self care, those thoughts that I was gripped by would never let me even think about being more gentle with myself, that thought would never have entered my head as I would be too consumed by how bad the situation was in my mind. It’s so lovely to read how you chose to be more loving and caring of yourself and share it in this way MAS, a very beautiful choice you are making.

116. This says a lot about the power of self-love and self-care. I have had simple experiences in my own life, perhaps not to the extremes of what has been shared here but there have most certainly been bouts of depression and isolation. I remember being told by a friend to keep it simple and just be with my every footstep when I walked feeling God with me with every step. It was literally a moment of exposure as all of my longing and pain for that time was dissipated from being at the fore instantly by choosing to be with my body and it was actually really enjoyable!

117. It can be a razors edge that separates us from falling into that dark pit of despair that comes from the choices of living on the edge to start with. It’s like being blind and choosing to walk on the cliff side. When we re-claim our life from there and we build the love in us there are no cliffs, we move at first to rollercoasters and then there is only a gentle undulating road presented for us.

118. Thank you for sharing this MAS. I am sorry you didn’t receive the care and support needed after your rape and sexual abuse. From what you have written it was clear you were expressing outwardly that you were asking for help and I wonder if, when there are many children and young people who experience similar things, if we are ready to spot the signs and signals, or if we simply couldn’t cope with acknowledging the truth of that horrific experience being real. Giving up trying to get someone to listen, hear or care is sometimes the easier option on the surface or when you feel like you are drowning. When support is accepted and someone feels truly understood, listened to, valued and cared for then a whole world opens up again and suicide is not so high on the list of options.

119. Pingback: From Resisting Self-Care to Confirming Myself « The Truth about Serge Benhayon

120. This blog is a great big step forward in bringing out of the shadows, the need to talk about and discuss suicide. Thank you for sharing your story, as you show how important the ability to self care and Self Love is; a practice that is a fundamental base that reduces the thoughts to suicide.

121. Thank you for bringing up a subject that people find difficult to talk about. I haven’t ever felt like I don’t want to live, but I have felt pretty low at times and that was awful, so getting to a point that is even lower than that must be excruciating. I take my hat off to anyone who has committed to working through these issues and is able to live with such dedication and honesty.

122. It was great to re-read your blog MAS – The tragedy of suicide affects so many. Forever grateful to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine teachings also for a re-connection to the love I can now feel in my body also. I loved your account of when you first felt love again in your body when you went for a walk, a moment never to forget.

123. Isn’t amazing MAS when we realise that we “really do matter”. Although I never lost the will to live I used to live a small, restricted, guarded life to protect myself from hurts. Each day was just a repeat of the previous one. I felt I was on a treadmill, unable to stop for fear of falling off, or worse being bumped off by others for being useless. Becoming aware of my responsibility, my place in the world, the energy I bring has turned my life around. Thank you for this blog that made me reflect and feel the changes that I have occurred for me.

124. MAS – a hugely needed blog on what is behind suicide.
     I’ll put my hands up and say that I have had suicidal thoughts, even just the very simple thought whilst standing on the train platform of ‘what would it be like to just jump on the track?’ – and i think ‘woah where did that come from’ – but what I have come to understand since knowing about Universal Medicine is that everything is energy, and the fact is that thought is not me- it is just an energy I am allowing through me.
     The energy is chosen based on how I am living and what each of my movements allow.
     To bring this understanding to me behaviour has allowed me to make changes in my life where there is no space for those sort of thoughts.
     There is a great deal of education needed for young people who don’t understand how they can quickly feel so unsure about themselves and then not understand how to come out of it. I am so grateful for the teachings of Universal Medicine and what it shows us about energy and choice.

125. Wonderful MAS this is a very needed blog you wrote. My experience is that normally people don’t like to talk about suicide so often. At my workplace (mental health) suicide is often a theme and it would be great if someone like you – who changed and is now a person who loves life – would share about their experience of how you changed. I love what you wrote so beautifully: “Nowadays if I feel hurt by something that has happened in my life, I allow myself time to feel the fragility that is in my body and I nurture myself with tenderness instead of abusing myself.” This is one example of the very practical advice you offer – so thank you MAS that you were so open to write about a topic that is so much avoided.

126. Another personal miracle inspired by the teachings presented by Universal Medicine. Beautiful!!

     1. Absolutely Eduardo – and there is plenty more where that came from!
        It’s the everyday miracles that Serge Benhayon’s teachings inspire and for me, life now makes more sense than it ever has before and with that I can choose more wisely in life.

127. And how deeply healing for many to read this MAS – bringing out into the open how common it is for many to have suicidal thoughts, and that our lives needed be a downward spiral…
     The statistics on suicide do not reflect all that’s going on – that despair and lack of willingness (let alone joy) for life are so entrenched in our societies. And if we have not had suicidal thoughts or attempts ourselves, are we truly willing to see what’s going on here? Are we truly willing to reflect upon our own lack of joy and commitment to our lives, our own misery, despair, and dull acceptance of ‘the way things are’ and what this means?
     Your voice in the conversations that are so deeply needed here is powerful indeed MAS. Once again, I look forward to more of your writing, thank-you.

128. Your writing brings things home to such a reality MAS, thank-you.
     This is such a powerful sharing of how you came to truly re-embrace the fact that you do indeed ‘matter’, and are fully deserving of the deepest level of love and care in every aspect of your life. To read how you came to this yourself is particularly poignant here – for we all do ‘save ourselves’… no-one does it for us.
     That said, without the reflections and true support (no saving) of those around you, the richness you now know may not have been so readily come to. This brings home the responsibility we all hold in relating to all in the light that every one of us truly matters. We are all interconnected, and inextricably so.

129. So beautiful to read Mas, your journey of coming back, to reclaiming with deep self love and care, the true and loving you.

130. Yes, feeling that it is actually that I left myself is the biggest hurt. Life is totally different when you support and love yourself with the things that are going on.

     1. Oh yes, the feeling of separation from our divinity is cause of much hurt and struggle.

131. I was not aware how hight the suicide number are in Australia especially among children. This says a lot how desperate and alone many children must feel to choose suicide and equally the statistics of adults.

     1. Yes I agree Janina, it is staggering to see these numbers and shows we as a humanity are not well at all.

132. “By reclaiming my life and returning to my true self, I am able to feel the many beautiful moments that present each day that confirm to me that we are all from love and that there can be joy in life.” This is amazing to read MAS how you were able to heal yourself and the abusive patterns and able to feel the love again that we all are.

133. This blog needs to be read by many, it expresses beautifully that suicide is not the answer…thère is another way. We can choose not to hang on to our hurts, OR instead choose to nuture ourselves with lots of self-care and like you said, allow ourselves the chance to just let go and shine. Thank you MAS for writing your story …it will inspire many.

134. Suicide is an unnecessary tragedy because there is a way to truly deal with and stop these types of thoughts – as shared in this eye opening and humble blog. It takes a commitment to self responsibility which requires self-honesty and self-love.

135. This is such an important sharing MAS and I thank you for the truly personal account your have given us of how it can be to not want to be here. Having so much to offer another from your experiences and the truly inspirational outcome you have had. I agree we have some wonderful Practitioners who work with the teachings of Serge Benhayon and The Way of The Livingness. With thanks again MAS.

136. This is deeply inspiring MAS. Thank you for taking the time to write and share your journey in full. The stats are shocking and being a primary school teacher it is sad to think that potentially that percentage of the children in my classes could be part of these horrific stats.

     1. When a suicide happens at a young age there is the massive ripple effect of devastation that is left behind for friends and families.

137. As I was reading I reflected on how treating ourselves like we would a 3 year old child is quite revealing. We really do make choice after choice to let this level of self appreciation slip away from us that it’s not surprising that so many people consider suicide as an ‘out’ from the suffering they find themselves in. MAS, your blog beautifully demonstrates the transformation that comes from truly committing to self love and life. Thank you, I can see that it has struck a cord with myself and other readers.

138. Thank you Mas for sharing your inspiring story, what a beautiful reflection your life is to the many out there in the world who are dealing with deep depression and despair every day of their lives.

139. I know far too many people who have lost someone to suicide, it’s far too common and it needs to be talked about.

     1. I agree Rebecca we need to start talking about suicide and what is going on. When i was around 25 years old a friend of mine committed suicide. She lived in another country so we didn’t had much contact. But still it affected my quite strongly.

140. After reading this blog it occurred to me that I have known 6 young people to commit suicide in my lifetime. I am only 41 years old. Each one bright, talented, beautiful people from stable families. What is going on for each of them to feel the only option is suicide. We need to ask more questions and start truly addressing what is actually going on for young people behind the image of success.

141. A great sharing and a great insight for us all so thank you MAS.
     I wonder what the real figure is regarding suicide and by that I mean many who have attempted but not actually taken their life may not have made the statistics but the Truth is they are to be counted.
     With the high rise in cyber abuse adding to the figures of our youth today, we have a major problem regarding suicide and it is not a subject many are comfortable talking about openly. There is so much judgement and stigmatism around this that people are reluctant yet my take is how are things going to change if we do not have discussions openly like this blog.
     I know of families who just want the ‘hush hush’ because they feel they are to blame.
     But who is to blame?
     What is society doing to reduce the statistics?
     Do we know the root cause of suicide, really?
     Enter Serge Benhayon – he most certainly has the answers and has helped so many people out of anxiety, stress, depression, suicide and much more.
     Real life evidence will be collected for the world to see that this man does have answers and is changing lives every day. Is it time to listen to him?
     Are we ready?

142. I love this line:
     ‘So much time was spent obsessing and hanging on to my hurts, instead of nurturing and caring for myself deeply, and allowing myself the chance to just let go and shine.’
     It highlights to me that it is a simple choice to live lovingly or not…
     Thanks for sharing.

     1. I agree Laura – this line is super exposing of where our perception is at. Are we looking at life through hurts and everything we and others are not – or are we seeing life for all it is and how fundamental our part is to make up the whole. It is our choice how we choose to perceive life and through this all our actions and ways stem.

143. How is it that children at the age of 5 can end their lives or even know how to do that? Shocking and disturbing.

     1. Jeanette, I had not even picked up that grouped up in this statistic are 5 year olds taking their own lives. How is that possible? The 5 year olds I observe do not seem burdened by life and still have a joyful spring in their step. What is going on for someone so little to even have thoughts about taking their own life or as you say how and why do they even know what suicide is? I am equally shocked and appalled by the reality of this.

144. I love the commitment and dedication that MAS shows us here, never giving up because knowing deep within that taking responsibility for her/his life by choosing to be loving with oneself is the answer to the misery inside.

145. “True self-care involved embracing a deeply loving and nurturing quality in all my movements and activities throughout the day.” This is such a beautiful reminder of what true self-care is. Never before in all the courses I had attended and in all the books I had read had I come across self-care and it’s true meaning; it is a foundation for living, a presence which I am learning to develop with consistency every day.

146. ‘Suicide was also the leading killer of Australians aged between 15 and 44’. Why is this statistic not widely known? The fact that the leading cause of death in so many young adults is suicide is frightening and it is hardly ever covered by the news or even discussed. This blog is an important starting point to raising awareness of the severity of suicide but it is time that this discussion was widely made across all platforms of media.

147. I can relate to what you have shared here very much. Especially the words: “Perhaps the biggest hurdle, however, was coming to the understanding that although the actions and abuse from others may have felt cruel and loveless, what hurt me so much more was becoming trapped in a cycle of self-abuse for which I was actually responsible.” Thank you for the inspiration, the 3 blogs I read from you in a row now, have brought me: From being good (and pleasing) to being the true me, quitting the cycle of self-abuse and taking the full responsibility for expressing in full to claim to be the love I am in full. Thank you MAS.

148. From reading this inspiring blog I am reminded again that we are never alone. It is no coincidence that MAS at the end of her/his tether found a psychologist that made sense to support her/him back to love. When we completely surrender and I have experienced this for myself at a time when I wanted to give up, miracles happen, the support is there; it is our choice to say yes to it or not.

149. I remember seeing a film where they explained that if you are in the habit of allowing negative thoughts, your body builds receptors to receive these thoughts chemically and neurologically and they become ever more dominant. This explains the downward spiral many people find themselves in. The film went on to explain that if the person brings self loving thoughts and actions into their lives, the body build receptors for these instead and as the negative ones do not get used they die off, and the loving ones become dominant. This supports what MAS has shared, that being ever so gentle and tender with yourself restores the neurological pathways of our minds.

     1. Bernard this is fascinating, if only this was common knowledge. I have noticed that by saying no to negative thoughts how much the self criticsm has diminished and the voice of appreciation strengthened. Knowing what you have said here confirms that it definitely pays off.

     2. MAS is definitely living proof of what you watched Bernard. Sounds like an interesting film.

150. MAS your story of the depth of you despair and recovery could be very helpful to those with the same affliction. The statistics you mention are very real to me as many boys in my class found it difficult after school and 5 of my class committed suicide. There were many more involved in fatal car crashes after bouts of depression fueled with alcohol. I would recommend anyone feeling low to stay clear of alcohol and drugs, bring self-loving thoughts and actions into your life.

151. ‘Nowadays if I feel hurt by something that has happened in my life, I allow myself time to feel the fragility that is in my body and I nurture myself with tenderness instead of abusing myself.’ Thank you MAS, this is so important. To bring love and understanding and feel the preciousness of who we truly are is most crucial, and impossible if we are berating and punishing ourselves.

152. This is a beautiful account of what the way of the livingness can change. From a life not coping with the world coming to feel the true you.

153. I am left completely speechless (typingless) from reading your blog, ~ all I can say is thank you and I love you.

154. Looking at the abuse we have lived our life by and seeing from now a place of love in the body allows us to look at past situations from a very different viewpoint and understanding. Seeing our part in the greater picture is always healing.

155. “True self-care involved embracing a deeply loving and nurturing quality in all my movements and activities throughout the day” This is a great statement to self care, not just functioning activities that we have been lead to believe self care to be.

     1. Yes Gail, what MAS presents here is hugely powerful. What he/she is essentially saying here is that self care builds a level of love and appreciation for ones self that cannot exist alongside the desire to end your own life. Here we have been given the ‘answer’ to the mounting tragedy that is suicide around the world today. Part of loving oneself is also seeking the support needed to truly heal the hurts that hold you back in life – though as MAS explains, the difficulty is finding the person who is able to offer true healing and support.

     2. This is a significant point Gail – we are being bombarded with advertisements on how to care for ourselves, it being spa, work out, diets – you name it. Unfortunately none of these activities will have any true healing or deep and lasting change because they are missing the main ingredient, the re-connection to ourselves and the quality of how we do what we do.

        1. yes Eva, there are many distractions out there we can choose to not have to feel that we are not taking true care of ourselves.

156. Thank you for your sharing MAS. Absolutely wonderful to know you loved yourself out of suicide. A loving self care action imprints the body with an energy with the conscious choice to care and love ourselves. It shows that how we feel about ourselves is the balance of energy within the body. Your example highlights the importance that self care brings and how it will eventually change what we call health-care.

157. The commitment you gave and give yourself is really inspiring – that it took 3 years for you to feel love for yourself. That you never gave up. Super awesome the healing power we have when we deal with our hurts. A heartfelt thank you for making the journey back to love to show what is possible.

158. ‘For me reaction never ends well’ – I can very much relate to this Marika. Whenever I find myself in a situation where I react rather than respond, it comes with an instant discomfort in my body, and I can feel that if I don’t stop and acknowledge what is going on, this will just spin and grow and before I know it I loose myself. It is certainly a lot to gain by staying present and be aware not to go into reaction no matter what is being presented.

159. There are indeed many lovely moments that happen every day. I used to focus on the things I felt were bad and play them over and over in my head or repeat them to others. That just kept me miserable for days, months even years. What I focus on now is appreciating the smallest of things. This switch in focus has made a big difference to how I now experience life.

     1. I agree Debra, the appreciation of the smallest things is very empowering and yet it is something I easily forget when things are going not my way and I start to feel anxious, giving my power away to what is happening around me. Coming back to me is to come back to self loving gestures and one of them is choosing to be present and to return to appreciating what I am choosing.

160. A very inspiring sharing MAS. Your experience shows what is possible when we are shown what true love really is and decide to make choices from there.

     1. I agree Simone – I had no idea what true love was until I met Serge Benhayon and was presented with his teachings and bit by bit got the understanding of the enormous importance of self care and self love.

        1. I love how you have said “bit by bit” here Eva. I feel like my understanding of the importance and practice of self-loving choices continues to change, grow and expand as I do. What I felt to do last week may no longer be the same today. It is lovely to observe the changes in myself when I choose to live this way.

        2. Absolutely Simone – we need to allow ourselves to be imperfect.

161. The following two facts really have to be taken in and felt deeply because they are extremely disturbing – “Suicide was the leading cause of death of Australian children aged between 5 and 17 and between 15 and 44.” When I was growing up we never heard of suicide. Now it’s one of the leading causes of death! Surely it is time to face the fact that the way that we are living is not working and that we have to stop and access everything that we are doing and make true changes.

     1. Hello Elizabeth Dolan and I agree. When I grew up I lived in a town of 10000 people or so. If there was a suicide it would shock the whole town, it was so rare and everyone would consider how it happened and what was going on. It seems like we have become a bit numb to what these figures actually are, people are getting to a point in their life where they are that desperate they kill themselves. I agree, “extremely disturbing”.

     2. Elizabeth I agree what we are doing is so not working. How many people will have to commit suicide before people take notice there is a problem that is wider reaching than someone’s immediate circumstances?

        1. Yes Karin, its something that needs to be looked at really closely. If the deeper issues are not looked at they become statistics that become the normal.

     3. I absolutely agree with you here Elizabeth, Raymone and Karin and others on the thread. It is extremely disturbing to read these statistics. It is very clear that the way we are living is not working and this needs to be addressed otherwise if we carry on ignoring, these figures will keep on rising.

     4. I read this stat too and had to keep screeching to a halt to consider ‘children aged 5’ in a suicide statistic…I mean, ‘hello’ how much more of a STOP do we need to ask what on earth is going on?

     5. Those statistics are hard to digest and I somewhat skimmed over them in the blog, so thank you for bringing much needed attention to them here Elizabeth. I guess it’s hard to digest for a few reasons, one being seeing our brothers in so much suffering that the only relief is to suicide, but also the fact that we all have a responsibility, and if this is happening to some, it is happening and effecting all – so what are we going to do? Live the love we are so others may see the very same in themselves and know that the suffering is NOT who they are.

162. MAS your journey back to you is remarkable. This is such an amazing story to share and is deeply inspiring.

163. Those statistics about suicide are shocking, your blog has made me see how life becoming too much can effect anyone. I love how you describe the moment you felt love again, that is truly gorgeous and I imagine could support all of those who have suicudal thoughts or have given up on life, this is definitely the kind of story suicude helplines and charities need to know.

     1. You are right Meg, this is what helplines need to know. Articles like this drag into the light of day something we are all aware of but leave in the shadows and pretend it doesn’t affect us. We are all one, so this does affect everyone and telling someone that is trapped in the spiraling down dark place that they are love can touch the part in them that has always been there and re-awaken the spark within them.

        1. I absolutely agree, someone in trouble affects all of us. I think that’s partly why the news badly effects so many people, to hear our fellow brothers are suffering is horrible.

164. Wow Mas, this is such a beautiful sharing, thank you. It’s inspirational that you have finally realised that YOU DO MATTER.

165. It takes an article like this to bring reality and clarity to a subject that is so misunderstood or so often not even talked about. We all know someone who has taken their own life and its easy to see the signs after it has happened but knowing the signs and teaching self love and self care could really change around these statistics.

     1. I very much agree with you Kevin, suicide is something which is showing that something is not working within our society and world. There must be a cruelty which is sometimes hidden , sometimes known so that people choose this desperate step. Introducing selflove and self care could support those people and their families to deal with their issues in order to cope with life in a more loving way.

     2. Agreed. Having been troubled by many wayward and self-destructive thoughts over many years, I know that a turn around is possible. A turn around that, as I consider my life today, is truly miraculous.

     3. I agree kevmchardy this article showed us that we can heal even from our deepest hurts and that made this article so inspirational. And it is true that normally people are not speaking often about suicide and therefore this blog is even more worth to be published publicly – it is good if more people can read it and get a bit of “hope” that even they can chose to change their lives.

     4. Great point Kevmchardy. So often after a suicide, those close share their total shock and surprise. Being able to detect the signs really could change these statistics.

166. Growing up I have never had a desire not to live I guess – I externalised and directed my anger and rage towards others rather than internalise it though. I certainly had a lot of self-hatred and self-destructive behaviours. However, even in my darkest moments I felt a resilience – a deep knowing there is more than the hurt and misery I felt during some of my darkest moments. There was a knowing, a deep, deeply buried fire I could always feel inside of me and it flickered enough warmth through the layers of hurts, reminding me there is more to life.

167. A psychologist who works with the foundation of the livingness and imparts this through their work, is a true psychologist indeed.

     1. I agree emmadanchin, because anything that is not truly addressed only gets buried deeper.

168. How beautiful and surprising it is to feel that through allowing our fragility, we actually get to feel how deeply strong we are?

169. The process of engaging with esoteric healing requires commitment to discovering truth, to being super honest about what we are feeling and how we are living. It requires dedication and a knowing that, whilst I may feel lovely receiving the hands on healing, that this loveliness is my true nature and I can actually live that all of the time. It took you 3 years to begin to feel this love within yourself, but wow, wasn’t it worth it? What begins as an inkling of a feeling expands into the entirety of who are.

170. “Whilst I would typically attend the session or presentation feeling racy and anxious, I always left feeling connected to the solidness of my real self, although perhaps a little fragile at times.” The stillness and presence that you are met with by a Universal Medicine practitioner or event can be confronting, for it makes clear the quality you have been choosing to live with, however surrendering to the potential we could be living is so confirming.

171. This is a very informative blog, in reading it I understand the huge impact suicide has in our populations. I am sure if I looked closely other countries would be experiencing the same problems as Australia. I find it interesting that these figures are not reported that greatly, perhaps it is not seen as news or maybe we are just numbed out to the problem, unable and unwilling to look at why suicides are so prevalent. For we have no war or strife in most countries and yet something is happening that makes life too intense for many of us to bear. That should be a huge stop moment for us all. It could makes us look at how we live, how we treat one another and what environment we provide for our children growing up. There is so much we could be doing to address this tragic situation and actually saying that this is not acceptable and we don’t want to just let it be anymore.

     1. I agree Stephen, I have not seen these statistics in the media and think that it is a huge issue that needs care and attention as it is indeed a preventable affliction (proven by this blog). The problem is very serious in this country and as you point out probably in many more countries.
        One day the government will turn to organisations such as Universal Medicine to support them with lowering the statistics, as we must remember stats are people – imagine if you had someone deeply supportive as your school counsellor when you were a teen, someone like a Benhayon, that didn’t judge you and help you realise there is nothing wrong with you…that is the way forward… and I don’t mean cloning the Benhayon’s and putting them in school everywhere (hahah) I mean people, living in a way that is equal to the Benhayons and then bringing that equality and power to the next generation, that is what I see would assist, as if you can nail it with the kids, the kids become our adults of the future.

        1. You have a great point Sarahraynebaldwin what would it be like to have school counsellors that would tell you that you are not broken. How amazing would their outlook on life change by looking up instead of down on the world they are living in.

        2. Totally sjmatsonuk, I know if I had someone in my school like that as a teenager it would have made a huge difference. I was so caught and identified in being ‘the bad girl’ and in that I thought I was hard and broken.
           We can all make a difference in this world but not by being self righteous or being mission driven but by the way we live.
           My husband just talks to teenagers for a second and they light up, he is such an amazingly connected man and youth recognise that immediately and they just get a sparkle in their eye, its very cool to watch.

        3. Ha Ha Ha Sarah cloning the Benhayons would be rather awesome! The very fact I have seen others choose the livingness in the same way as the Benhayons present is so inspiring and as you share and everyone knows that is what is really needed to make a difference to these horrendous statistics.

        4. When you look at the state of the world then why wouldn’t you want to model your way of living on people like The Benhayons that are clearly doing so well within them selves and also supporting others. We have a living and active community of people that are proving all the statistics wrong, looking younger each year, losing weight and supporting those in need.

     2. I like what you are presenting here Stephen, clearly something is very wrong and I agree it’s all our responsibility to not just let this be and to thoroughly and deeply look at the way we are living.

        1. Yes, to see these statistics in their stark reality certainly brings it home. Where are we as a community? This can be glanced over and left to ‘others’ to address or we can start being there for our kids. What we can do individually really counts.

        2. I would agree with you Jenny, we have a huge responsibility to our kids, and everyones kids that we are not full-filling. And these statistic highlight that fact majorly that our parenting is not up to scratch.

        3. Yes so many great points here. How amazing would it be if all doctors, councillors and therapists asked “How have you been living?”. This question could really help so many uncover what is truly going on in their lives. It’s from our daily livingness that represents the true choice for loving change.

        4. It would be very interesting to hear the responses to the question “How have you been living?” I reckon so much of the abusive ways we treat our bodies have become normal that for many people the answer would just be “normally!” But it could definitely begin a process of reflection.

     3. This is so true Stephen, I also feel that nobody wants to be accountable or responsible for other people actions. Also, many believe that it only happens to others until it comes right to their door step. As I heard once Serge Benhayon saying that “we are spending Millions trying to go to the moon or Mars, yet, we haven’t solved our own problems on earth!” How ridicule is that? We have the resources on this planet to feed and give work to everybody, only when we understand that it is not about money but about people, then we will be able to go forward and start evolving.

        1. Yes Alexandre, the money spent on missions to outer space is something I have always found totally wasteful. I never understood our need to go and ‘conquer’ space when we have not yet created a humanity that is harmonious on this planet. The need is nothing more than an expensive distraction from the work we have to do here.

        2. Such a good point Alexandre that we often spend millions of dollars on projects outside of our immediate environment without addressing the issues and seeing the stress and anxiety we have on our own doorstep, in our own families, communities and workplaces. And we not only do that, we spend millions of dollars on other activities such as sporting events which are primarily about advertising and recognition of a few, but rarely for the benefit or consideration of all. I agree – it is ridiculous (!) and only when we start being truly honest, and bringing this back to how this affects all of us, will we truly ‘start evolving’.

        3. Exactly Alexandre we have no sense of harmony currently in the world and it makes sense that even in countries where there is no war, no real poverty like Australia so many people can’t bear the tension of not living the love and harmony they actually know at birth.

     4. So very well said Stephen. These suicide statistics are a huge wake-up call for humanity to ask the questions, what is so horrendous in our lives to have such a high proportion resorting to the ultimate check-out and give-up?

        1. Yes I agree Gina, with more and more people checking out and giving up these days it is time to address these issues at a deeper level as too many are feeling lost and feel they have no support in their lives.

     5. I too find this blog so informative and these statistics staggering, as you share Stephen G the question we have to ask is why do we hear so little about these statistics? I feel as you and many others have expressed, that we need to begin by looking at the root cause, what within our society today is happening that we are contemplating suicide as our only option? It is indeed a stop moment for us all, one in which we perhaps need to re-evaluate what we value and begin by valuing, loving and caring for ourselves and making this a priority.

172. The statistics concerning suicide are shocking, although I am aware there is self harm and pension amongst the adult and teenage population, to know it the the main source of death within he teenage population in Australia is shocking. It indicates such a level of ‘giving up’ on life, it is fantastic that this is highlighted in this article. I also appreciated your dedication and commitment to returning to who you truly are… for me it illustrates that there is a core within us all that knows who we really are, because when it comes to will power many of us struggle to stick to anything past a few days..but when we reconnect with our inner knowing, our inner light reignites, as you say “It took about three years for me to feel love for myself.” with continued commitment a foundation of self love was built and you were able to feel that love within for yourself. Awesome, something to deeply appreciate and celebrate.

     1. Yes davidsonsamantha I agree, this indicates a shocking level of ‘giving up’ on life. I have had periods of ‘giving up’ in my life myself, I just did not know when I was in the middle of it. My feeling is that this is so common in society that we don’t see it as an issue, it has just become part of the way we choose to live and treat ourselves. I had no idea that I was repeatedly living this pattern until I met Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

        1. Absolutely Eva, I also have been in the ‘middle’ of ‘giving up’ and only been truly aware of it as I have found my way out. Through becoming more aware of how I feel and my body I am able to pick up if this ‘giving up’ behaviour is returning or whether I am in it and so I am able to respond and work through it with more dedication to self care and self love. I agree, attending courses held by Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon have supported my awareness and understanding to develop and they have shared skills and tools to tackle and resolve many behaviours and issues that I had previously thought were just part of me. The quality of my life is beyond any shadow of a doubt deeply enriched through committing to learning to heal, self care and self love and it is something I am now feeling able to share with others.

173. MAS it is alarming to learn from the statistics at the start of your blog that suicide is the leading cause of death for school age children and that this figure doubled in just ten years to nearly 20%. It also begs the question how many more suicide attempts are there and how many children feel given up and depressed although are not suicidal?
     I am surprised that this does not have a stronger public health profile and indicates the overwhelming variety of issues our public health system faces.

174. .Suicide was the leading cause of death of Australian children aged between 5 and 17
     .In 2009 death by suicide accounted for 9.9% of children’s deaths, which escalated in 2013 to 19.3%
     .Suicide was also the leading killer of Australians aged between 15 and 44
     .Men aged 85 and over had the highest death rate by suicide, followed by those aged between 40 and 44
     These statistics bear repeating. They are not just figures, they are people, our brothers and sisters and our children. It blows my mind to think of children as young as five committing suicide, how do you even know about suicide at five, let alone succeed in doing it?

     1. And think about all the friends and families of those suicide victims, and then the numbers of people whose lives have been devastated explodes exponentially. It is the most astonishing black mark on humanity and the way we are living as a society. How can we herald the arrival of a new iPhone when this stuff is going on??

        1. This is very true ottobathurst. Recently I read that NASA is planning a Mars mission for 2030, and I since became aware of all the technological opportunities there will be because of this. But really we need to ask where our priorities are, if we have children and young people (or anyone really) suiciding in increasing numbers every year.

        2. Exactly. Surely it’s a no-brainer. Man on mars or huge reductions in suicide rates.

175. Your story about your journey back to the real you is fascinating to read and would be very inspiring for anyone out there that is considering suicide. Thank you for your honesty and your level of self responsability , your choices are a great marker for us.

176. If it was front-page news, which I agree it should be, then we would all have to look and take responsibility for the way we live in the world. We would have to face that we are not evolved because we have highly developed technology and send people to the moon, but that we are far from living the love and fullness that we truly are.

177. Thank you MAS for sharing this story of your amazing journey. It is very inspiring for everyone who can relate to it in one way or another. You have exposed the illusion we are kept in when the techniques that are used only bury the issues instead of healing the connection we have lost with ourselves.

178. These are great questions Marika, and a reflection of the misery and despondency in people. What sort of world have we created, where people do not feel welcome and free to make the most of life? How are we personally contributing to an atmosphere where people feel lost and alone with no true connection to others?

179. This is a very real sharing MAS thank you. When you are in the deep end of low self worth the last thing that comes to your mind is to be gentle and extremely self-loving, but it is the only thing that works. I know that to be true.

     1. I agree Bernard. It is true that it is the last thing to come to mind. I never thought it would end. But it has.

        1. I agree with you both. I too have been trapped in this. My recent learning has been all about how, when the going gets tough, we actually need to open ourselves even more to the love of others and of ourselves. I am a man prone to ‘battoning-down-the-hatches’, ‘going solo’. And I can say with absolute lived experience (way too many times than I’d like) that it DOES NOT WORK!!!

180. You have made such great changes to your life MAS from being haunted by a desire not to live, to looking at your life and living it lovingly. Suicide is a major issue for all ages, especially young people, to feel this way is the only way out, we must be so full of hurts. Expressing how you learnt to free yourself of these pains that weren’t you with the support you had from the Ageless Wisdom Teachings, is a support to others feeling they are in a similar situation. a lovely pay back.

181. It is true that what hurts most is the lack of love and care that we hold for ourselves and the self-abuse we engage in when we don’t want to feel something. This understanding is very important so that we don’t otherwise choose to see ourselves as ‘victims of life’ – giving our power away, but rather as shapers of our own experience through our choices. Your choice MAS to allow your fragility and tenderness is most certainly the way forward as you were then able to feel what is there to feel and coming up for you (surrender) and not engage in behaviours designed to numb us out or distract you, but rather ones which confirm and support you. In our day and age of suicide, illness and disease and exhaustion this goes totally against the trend.

182. Thank you MAS, your blog has reminded me of the love I also feel within myself, something I can sometimes take for granted.

183. One of the many things that stood out for me in your blog MAS was how you had seen numerous counsellors who had not been able to help you and then suddenly you saw this one psychologist and “with great wonderment, the session ignited something within”. My feeling is that the psychologist was connected to her inner-heart / true essence and that ignited you to connect to your inner-heart where the healing and self-care could start. There is a great free audio at Unimedpedia Essence – http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia/word-index/unimedpedia-essence.html – called “Our essence is not touched by ordeals” that presents how our true essence is always pure and never touched by even the worst imaginable abuse. Connecting to our essence brings great healing.

     1. I love what is said here Nicola, “Our essence is not touched by ordeals” that presents how our true essence is always pure and never touched by even the worst imaginable abuse. Connecting to our essence brings great healing.” Through my own experience of depression and a suicidal attempt many years ago, I know this to be the truth.

        1. Yes I agree Rosemary. When one is in the clutches of an energy and consumed with depression or abuse it can be hard to relate to this just like in the midst of a great storm to know that above all that chaos the sun continues to shine as brightly as ever.

184. MAS, what a gift you are giving back to all people with mental illness. There is much to learn from you – “Nowadays if I feel hurt by something that has happened in my life, I allow myself time to feel the fragility that is in my body and I nurture myself with tenderness instead of abusing myself”.
     When I am feeling a deep ‘sharp’ hurt, that I tend to avoid by channeling aggression, at that moment all my attention and utmost commitment to all I have learnt up until that point needs to be focused on this pain – I do whatever I need to do. I support myself if I need to be with people or I need to do a gentle nurturing activity with me. Universal Medicine and the Ageless Wisdom has taught me that I am never alone, however it’s my responsibility to connect back to the real me where that inner-strength is through either seeking support through people or through being super tender with myself to feel the fact I am super precious in my body. To shutdown is not allowing myself to act and be responsible for this pain.

185. These statistics if one re-reads and let’s it sink-in are full-on. There is a story being told here by the fact so many people, especially children, are taking their own life.

     1. Yes Oliver as you say there is a story here, these statistics are devastating, but until I read them here I had no idea the rate was so high, especially the desperation of such young children. Why is there not a national outcry, why is this a story that is not being discussed openly and widely through all avenues of the media?

186. I too have experienced about a 3 year period of time, from beginning to want to self-care and then the sense of feeling love within. What’s interesting is that it’s growing steadily and continuously, whereby I don’t feel there is an end.

187. Self care is the wedge that can halt the cycle of abuse in its tracks and this is not an over exaggeration. When we initiate a marker in our body, of love, it can only do one thing and that is reflect back when we don’t meet that mark. This is the future of public health and ending the cycle of abuse for all people and living in a cycle of wellness and vitality.

     1. “Self care is the wedge that can halt the cycle of abuse in its tracks” is spot on Matthew. From my experience and from observing others. dedication to an ever deepening level of self care can be life changing. For someone already in depression the key is making a start as MAS so clearly explains. It often takes another to show the way.

188. I too was absolutely shocked by these statistics – especially “suicide was the leading cause of death of Australian children aged between 5 and 17”. This is horrific!

189. No matter from which angle you come looking at your life: there will never be someone to come and solve the things for you. That might feel like bad news. But the good news are: it is us to free ourselves! No one to wait for. We have everything already! This might be uncomfortable but deeply freeing and honest and maybe exactly what was searched for.

190. Thank you for sharing this MAS and for your openness and honesty. It helps us to also see the parts in your story that resonate, and the self-destructive patterns we have chosen, in reaction to hurts we have experienced. To understand in all of this that the greatest hurt is the one we do to ourselves in every moment begins the healing, and that with the first steps of self-love, can start the turn around of a lifetime of sadness and confusion. With the support of Serge and Universal Medicine it was possible for the first time to see the truth of who I am and confirmation that I was not the crazy one in this world of craziness. And with this understanding came the purpose to bring self-responsibility into the equation so that one day the world will have no purchase on me, but rather I hold ever more steady with what I have known to be true.

191. Dear MAS, thank you for sharing your story, and how you found your way back to yourself, accepting you and choosing to live your life, as nobody is qualified to do that more exquisitely than you! I love the phrase of remembering ourselves as a delicate, precious 3 year old; that 3 year old is still living within and we deserve to be treated, and to treat ourselves as that forever more.

192. I had no idea of those statistics and I was shocked to read that suicide is the leading cause of death in children. The despair you felt when reaching out for help but it not actually helping must have been very confirming – but all in the wrong way confirming the wrong things. Your story is incredibly inspiring for what is possible with self responsibility and self love.

193. Thank you for this MAS. The statistics are startling aren’t they – to consider that a child as young as 5 years-old would commit suicide – wow. What I love about your blog is the celebration of how it feels to come back to yourself, to be loving to your self and to realise that the Source of Love is within. It’s great to know that there are truly wise psychologists out there sharing such wisdom. I equally Love the celebration and appreciation of everything Serge Benhayon is bringing us all, along with all the Esoteric Practitioners out in the world offering the reflection of this way ‘home’ to us all.

194. A doubling of the rates of suicide in children should certainly be front page news, but the nature of suicide is such that society struggles with how to respond. It is not just the people who take their own life, but their friends and families are also deeply affected. What would the story on the front page of increasing numbers of suicide in children be? Would it speak of why this has happened, or what we as a society can do, or would it speak of the tragedy and helplessness? It could also speak of the story of MAS, and the work of Universal Medicine and The Way of The Livingness.

195. It is such a lovely feeling in my body when you write about how you connected back with the love you are and could actually feel it in your body. You expressing that gives every reader the opportunity to feel the same and to re-connect with love. Thank you MAS!

196. I was re-reading this MAS and once again struck by the power of your article. This time round what came up was just how many people are suffering from some form of depression – the number is huge. This depression unchecked and unmet will grow inside, and so the voices grow louder – what is needed is for each and every one of us to be aware of how others are feeling, and meet them on the deepest level we can whenever we can, so there is always the opportunity for them to find help when they are ready.

     1. simonwilliams8, yes, there is a great need for us to connect with each other with far more depth and intimacy and truly be with another person and listen … I don’t feel we do this enough, perhaps just a little too quick to want to talk, to judge, or move to the next thing. And I will let you in on a little secret … those who knew me didn’t know I felt as I did … it is possible that we hold back sharing our true feelings which of course makes it difficult. This is why I say, we need to be really connected with the other and build trust so they know they won’t be criticised or rejected.

     2. Beautiful Simon, I agree completely.

     3. I agree with you Simon. But I also think about the thousands and thousands (even more) who don’t even ‘know’ that they are depressed. Who have become so numb and have been living with depression for so long, that they wouldn’t even say that anything was wrong. This is the thing; we are accepting such a low level of vitality, such a low level of health (“if I haven’t got cancer, I’m fine”) that actually all these health statistics are the hugest lie, because they are based upon such massively reduced markers.

        1. A great point Ottobathurst – it is a deeply seeded norm in society to live the lie ‘I am fine’. The facade is so thick that we are in complete denial of what is on the inside.

     4. The number of people on anti-depressants is astounding. Then there are the massive numbers who ‘self-medicate’. Depression is like a plague masked by such medications – and as Otto has said, our acceptance of this as normal. How low do we have to go before we say ‘this isn’t right. There has to be another way’?

        1. You are right richardmills, but the thing is that these ‘medications’ aren’t even recognised as such. At least the person who is taking medicine from a packet, knows that he is not well. But what about the person who is eating sugar, working excessively, doing porn, watching endless TV, drinking copious quantities of coffee each morning etc…society has accepted these things so totally and utterly that it’s impossible for us to see the wood from the trees. It happens all over society. I have fallen for it a zillion times and I still do. When we look to the outside for our markers we are lost. A random example is the expression about young kids – “the terrible two’s”. I remember it so well from when our kids were smaller. Because of this expression (excuse), how many of us have not truly connected to our kids and felt what actually might be going on for them at this age? Or do we just go with the flow, hear that expression and assume that everything is OK. This is one of so many examples. It is happening everywhere. Celebrities or politicians getting cyber abused – “it goes with the territory” – Says who? Since when? Why? Why is it acceptable to throw vitriolic abuse at someone just because they happen to be in one profession not another? Singled out, these examples are exposed for the absurdity that they are – it is easy to see, yet we go with this stuff all the time, all round. I have gone slightly off piste here, but what I am seeing more and more frequently and in more and more places in my life are the huge lies that we tell ourselves. Well, these suicide statistics are not lies, they are fact and it is time to wake up and get honest.

     5. That is very much the stand out point I get from MAS’s article here also Simon – that everyone matters. This calls us all to a deep level of responsibility in the way we live and relate to everyone we encounter in our day. I am gobsmacked at the figures for conditions such as depression and chronic pain for example (figures which likely are very unrepresentative of what is truly going on). With only the barest scratch of the surface, we find that so very many people are walking around and living their lives with a deep level of struggle and pain. Are we truly willing to know this, to see? Are we wiling to understand and offer understanding? Every one of us is called to go deeper here.

197. A life lived with joy as I am learning to re-connect to is an adventure. Life will always be like a roller coaster… we can fear the climb to the top because we know what awaits us when we reach the top, a plunge to the bottom again. Or, we can be our true self’s and en-joy the world as it and we change on the journey.

198. “It didn’t matter what I did or what I achieved in life, underneath all the vices and techniques I used to avoid the emptiness and pain, that familiar feeling continued to resurface – I just didn’t want to be in the world.” Whatever & however much elastoplast we use to cover, avoid our hurts they are guaranteed to return. Bringing consistent self love back into our lives allows us the strength and foundation to open up to these hurts and let them go.

199. I love how you say “Nowadays if I feel hurt by something that has happened in my life, I allow myself time to feel the fragility that is in my body and I nurture myself with tenderness instead of abusing myself.” It has inspired me to feel my fragility rather than get absorbed by the hurt.

     1. I love that line too tonisteenson. Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine really offer us a new slant on dealing with our hurts and challenges, one that makes sense, is effective and feels so much better than the all too common automatic reaction many of us take to self harm, abuse or berate ourselves.

200. Wow these statistics are shocking. The extremely huge increase in suicide deaths over a five year period is scary and is a huge statement that we as a society need to stop and listen to. The statistic showing the greatest cause of death for children aged between five and seventeen is suicide is another grand statement one that is saying our children are really struggling with life.

201. Thank you MAS for writing this and highlighting the impact of our negative thoughts and how they can escalate into suicidal thoughts. But more importantly showing us by example that the despair does not have to rule our lives and that with self love and self care there is a way back.

202. I understanding that suicidal thoughts can come from a state of feeling deeply isolated, and yet half the population of the earth is constantly on the many social media applications available, which are designed for communication.

     1. Great point Shami Duffy, there are so many social media platforms today that people are constantly using, some using every spare moment they have, yet, and perhaps that is the problem, there is no real connection taking place between people, there is no real honest sharing, and as we all know it is so easy to hide behind a mask and not be yourself when online.

     2. That’s right, what are the communication platforms really being used for? We are all seeking love, yet how often is love really communicated through social media. It is so often used to avoid love, not share it.

        1. I agree with all of you on this tread, instead of socially connecting, what the social media advertises to be, we are actually far from a true connection. What happened to the old fashion drinking a cup of tea together, where we truly connect and can look each other in the eyes? And also a major social media platform problem is the huge impact of cyber bullying. Al lot of teenagers have committed suicide because of this evil coming through computers and other internet devices.

203. It is an incredible reality that we have when, considering all the technological, medical, and scientific advances available today, suicide is still accountable for such a large percentage of death.

     1. It is not only still accountable for a large percentage of death, it is actually growing. That fact alone should be ringing alarm bells that something is not right. But society isn’t ringing them or able to hear them so it seems. Is it perhaps that when the facts are heard people are pretending to be deaf because it is far too exposing to admit that our children are suiciding at a growing rate.

204. “Perhaps the biggest hurdle, however, was coming to the understanding that although the actions and abuse from others may have felt cruel and loveless, what hurt me so much more was becoming trapped in a cycle of self-abuse for which I was actually responsible.”
     I can relate to this line of your story MAS. I think for me having a rebellious streak I really didn’t want to give my abusers the satisfaction of thinking they “had broken my evil spirit” as they often said they were doing. I rebelled and lashed out at them and the rest of the world, but in doing that was extremely self-abusive. It wasn’t until this year at the Universal Medicine retreat that I actually felt the depth of sadness I have been carrying inside of me as a result of abandoning myself and living a reckless self- abusive life was far deeper than any pain and sadness I felt as a result of my abusive childhood.

205. That you say MAS the part that hurts us most is not what other people necessary do to us but us “becoming trapped in a cycle of self-abuse” is beautifully accurate. Ultimately, as much as we may not want to see it, we have chosen our own level of misery.

     1. It is so true Dean and MAS, and it can be the hardest one to really take responsibility for, yet understanding that we choose our own misery to shut down the most amazing aspects of ourselves really helps to see how ridiculous it is, and can be the inspiration needed to make different choices.

206. I work with young people with mental health issues and I haven’t actually come across a great deal of cyber bullying with those I support (although bullying in general is common), but there is a real disconnection in them to knowing how precious and amazing they are. Their innate beauty is not reflected to them in their home or school environment. There is immense pressure on them to be good, smart, popular, attractive and there is usually little appreciation for who they are inside.

207. Very amazing story MAS. You open and up and let the world in with your writing. What stood out for me is your ability to retrain yourself to feel things that hurt you as they come up, rather than numb out – the constant commitment to be gentle and move in a way that actually supports and assists you to deal with the emotional issues you had. I find these two key points so inspiring. You didn’t just want or look for a quick fix but instead did the work that has set you free.

208. Thank you for sharing your heart felt experience MAS. Yes suicide is way to common, but even more common is people miserable, depressed, or only half alive. Thank you for describing the way out, through self-love so tender and gentle, like you are a three year old. It is never too late to heal the hurts and embrace life again. Often people who are having suicidal thoughts are experts at keeping them to themselves, and close friends and family are surprised. Now you know the feeling you will be able to recognize it in others, and help them out of it.

     1. This is so true Bernard, that we are experts at keeping suicidal thoughts to ourselves. I didn’t even share these feelings with the psychologist that was supporting me. In fact, it took years for me to mention it to an esoteric practitioner and I only did this briefly. I just focused on the hurts I was feeling in the now, dealing with life as it was for me at the time. But there was this one day when I couldn’t get out of the spiral, where my thoughts were not my own, and when the tears kept flowing, and I did reach out to someone very special, and he pulled me out of the rabbit hole so I could be me again. Thank you Serge Benhayon. xo

209. These are seriously astounding statistics. Thank you MAS for sharing this with us. It is very cool that your inspiring story of true change is available for many to read.

     1. Those numbers really blow me away Sara and MAS.
        What have we come to?

     2. I agree Sara, it is quite shocking to read these numbers; there are a large number of people, maybe 20 to 50 or so? affected by each of these suicides. And there is the countless failed suicide attempts to consider as well. Thank God for Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon, showing a true way to live, inspiring so many to come back to a true acceptance of oneself and a strengthened commitment to life, to be the amazingness we all are and to realise that we all affect each other, and to appreciate what we each bring to this world because we each and every one have our part to play.

        1. Exactly Esther. The impact and the devastation is far more reaching than we can see in the numbers. Such an important point!

        2. Yes Esther, there are a large number of people affected by these suicides, and for some people I know who have gone through this I would say it was far worse than if the person had just passed away.

210. It has taken incredible dedication to bring yourself to where you are today MAS. I am inspired by your commitment to yourself and the way you now deeply care and love yourself.

     1. That dedication to self is something to be immensely appreciated and recognised. It is an inspiration to all.

        1. Absolutely Heather Pope, your dedication to self is truly an inspiration for all MAS.

        2. Dedication to self, is such an important building block to growing internal love.

211. This is an incredibly beautiful and deeply inspiring blog. There are so many lives across the world this will change, from every little girl growing up thinking she is not enough, to every boy, woman and man who experience these deceiving thoughts of self harm and wanting to not be here. Serge Benhayon has brought truth and love to the world, and with that knowing we all have the ability to live and do the same.

212. ’Perhaps the biggest hurdle, however, was coming to the understanding that although the actions and abuse from others may have felt cruel and loveless, what hurt me so much more was becoming trapped in a cycle of self-abuse for which I was actually responsible.’ MAS, this is key – only when we can let go of pointing outwards and blaming everyone else, are we able so see our own responsibility and the enormity of honouring and truly caring for ourselves.

     1. And that the responsibility that we so often see as a burden is, in fact, the most joyous return home to who we really are from the wasteland of despair that we thought we would be in forever.

        1. Great point Naren – we don’t always appreciate the gift that comes with taking responsibility, it is a forever opportunity to learn and evolve, and yes, to return home to who we really are.

        2. So true, Eva. Responsibility is so often thought of as a burden we must carry, instead of the freedom it actually is.

        3. Beautifully said Naren, clearly from your own experience. I agree entirely.
           Responsibility is not a burden, it is a joy – and it is deeply empowering to go there.
           As MAS has shared, she was supported by her psychologist and others, but it was herself who had to make the call, and that she did.

        4. And that is the joy of responsibility, Victoria! To make those choices and changes in our lives, not due to any other factor than our own impulse is far and away one of the most incredible things we can experience.

        5. And when we live in this way, we are constantly deepening the experience and joyful knowing of true responsibility, aren’t we Naren. We are empowered to keep honouring what is clearly before us. This can be felt in MAS’s blog – a woman going from strength to strength, who needn’t ever fall back…

213. Thank you MAS, Highlighting the way to true healing is self care, and self love, which has outcomes beyond what we could imagine especially when your at a point of despair. This is a great teaching tool for all.

214. I have to say Doug, I was shocked also to read the statistics. But it does make you wonder what has contributed to the drastic rise in suicides in such a short space of time. You also make a great point about cyber-abuse being a factor and school bullying, which we all know can come in many forms these days, with the use of the internet and mobile phones. It seems to me that cyber-abuse has already become a huge problem, which the politicians are ignoring – what will it take for them to regulate the internet and it’s usage.

215. Gulp MAS there are so many parts to this blog that just resonate with teenage life – and compounding that how we move into another phase of life – despondent and given up. ‘Perhaps the biggest hurdle, however, was coming to the understanding that although the actions and abuse from others may have felt cruel and loveless, what hurt me so much more was becoming trapped in a cycle of self-abuse for which I was actually responsible.’ This is the addressing of responsibility that we all need to take steps towards – you have quite literally shown a path from life threatening self-abuse to love for self. A miracle.

     1. So true Lee, self-loving choices are amazing and make such a difference to our lives and we cannot talk about that enough as everything in the world is geared to self-abuse in many ways, shapes and forms. We are creating our own mess, but choosing to not be aware of it.

216. “By allowing this fragility I give myself the chance to return more easily to an inner strength and sense of wellbeing, enabling me to come back to myself more easily.” We don’t often associate fragility with strength and yet it is through allowing ourselves to feel our fragility, under the cover of our hardened or worn down exterior, that we can connect to ourselves and feel at a level that is more honest. Having compassion for ourselves at this level builds love in our bodies and an opportunity to nurture ourselves as never before. As you have shared living in this way allows us to go from strength to strength and feel the power of love in our lives.

217. Mental ill health is the least understood and accepted of all illnesses. Unwelcomed by family, communities and society at large with a reluctance to acknowledge or talk about it, leaving those in mental distress isolated and alone. This blog shows how mental ill-health is not just a consequence of a clinically diagnosed conditions, but is more common, often triggered by events in our lives, trauma, abuse or our own sense of self, whether feelings of worthlessness or an inability to cope with what life presents us. In low periods, I too have questioned what purpose there was to life. If more people spoke up and out then we could begin to explore, understand and support each other.

     1. Kehinde, I agree, mental illness is something which is hidden and not openly discussed in our society. A lot of shame is connected with this illness. There are more people having mental illnesses than those who are diagnosed with this. The problem is when we in our society ignore this urgent call and put the level of normality higher in numbing the facts more and more people will suffer under these mental illnesses and our society gets deeply affected.

     2. It is interesting that we call it mental ill health to feel such devastation after being raped and abused as a child. It is quite understandable to feel devastated if you have been raped and abused as a child or at any age for that matter. At least these people know something is wrong. You could say that those that think everything is ok, those that think it ok to abuse children and have a so called successful public life, those that think it ok to abuse their bodies with excessive sporting feats and so forth are the ones with real mental ill health.

        1. True Nicola, It’s time for us to challenge the narrow way in which mental ill-health is perceived and defined.

     3. I agree Kehinde2012 – “Mental ill health is the least understood and accepted of all illnesses”. I have always found this ironic when we all in fact experience mental ill health. When our thoughts are not true or self critical, judgemental and not of a loving quality – that is mental ill health. The whole world suffers from mental health!

        1. ‘we all in fact experience mental ill health’ a profound statement Marcia, and true. The irony is that we deny that we do. The tiniest flicker of self doubt is mental instability and yet we have come to accept it. If we all accepted that ‘the whole world suffers from mental health’ perhaps it would be given the attention it deserves. Universal Medicine is rare and extra-ordinary in that it offers each individual the possibility to re-connect to themselves and regain an inner sense of self. It teaches simple and practical ways to lovingly bring ourselves back into balance in each moment.

        2. Exactly Marcia, mental ill health is any thoughts that are detrimental to our own well being and that are not of a loving quality, so yes I have to agree, the whole world suffers from mental ill health!

        3. Absolutely Kehinde2012, there is much for us all to explore here and accept that we are so much more than the confinements of our thoughts when they are not aligned to love.

        4. I completely agree in that anything less than love is ill health and this is love in the true meaning of the word as described in Unimedpedia Love – http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia/word-index/unimedpedia-love.html. On that basis we are all sick!

        5. Following on from my last comment we are not all sick all the time, just whenever we are not expressing in full from the love that we are. This also exposes the absurdity of the word normal. What does that word mean when everyone suffers from ill health and ill mental health such that it becomes normal to be that way?

        6. Mental health does seem to be very little understood as it stands, I agree, ‘Mental ill health is the least understood and accepted of all illnesses’.

218. MAS I once worked for a telephone helpline and received calls routinely from teenagers wanting to end their lives. The spectrum of calls ranged from those experiencing suicidal thoughts, to those planning their own death. I felt the emptiness and complete hopelessness in their voices and was alarmed how so many young people had reached a state of total disregard for themselves and life. All we were asked to do was listen, offer support and for those that wanted to, connect them to suicide specific help-lines like the Samaritans. We were never able or trained to explore what had happened in their lives, only respond to the caller and their words in that moment. What you share gives an insight into the type of traumatic experiences that can lead young people to thoughts of suicide. It is a taboo subject and rarely talked about. Your are remarkable because you’ve spoken and shared your story with humanity and in so doing increased our awareness of the consequences of trauma and abuse. It also inspires. Through you we learn that however shocking the trauma, with loving support and commitment to self, it is possible to truly heal past hurts.

219. This is such an important article. This week ABC TV, radio and online media in Australia has run an excellent awareness campaign called ‘Mental As’, which has featured the stories of numerous sufferers of a wide variety of mental health issues. Some of these include sharing by those who had attempted suicide but survived, by family members left behind, and of the experiences of the mental health professionals working with these groups. As yet no one has the answer but the steps you detail in your account MAS could go a long way to shifting the statistics.

     1. The scary part about what MAS shared, to me was that when she reached for help and had counselling she was left feeling helpless and alone until she met the psychologist mentioned. Self responsibility and self care, 2 of the things that were turning points for MAS do not seem to be widely embraced even though they are 2 basic cornerstones of life.

     2. I agree Victora, I too have seen the “Mental As’ campaign and some of the stories being shared. It is a blog like this that should be included into these campaigns to declare to the world that indeed there is another way. MAS your story requires a much wider audience.

220. Thank you MAS for talking about this subject and sharing what is so needed right now as Suicide is something that is not across the media getting the full coverage it needs. Very few know how huge the statistics are about suicides and the impact, as it affects a lot of people who were in some way related to the person.
     Those who suicide have given up on life through exhaustion, overwhelm and not committing to life are the most vulnerable in my experience. Of course there are many triggers like undealt with childhood issues or something major that the mind just cannot get over but what we need as a society is to look deeper at what is really going on and why. I am no medical expert or claiming to be any professional but even with common sense and the teachings of Serge Benhayon I know what is going on and have been able to help many people.
     It is only when we stop and question things that there will be change. Standing by and doing nothing, changes nothing.

221. The suicide rates that you record are an indictment of the level of lovelessness in the world and the story of your return to the love you are, MAS, illustrates that there is another way. That way is shown by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

     1. Indeed it is, and it is up to us all, as Bina Pattel points out below to be claiming, living and shouting from the roof-tops about another way. Potential suiciders are lost ships in the night. The more lighthouses the better.

        1. “The more lighthouses the better.” – Yes indeed! The loneliness is self chosen. The giving up too. That is something that’s got to be spotted.

        2. ‘ Potential suiciders are lost ships in the night. The more lighthouses the better.’ I am inspired Otto, thank you.

        3. Indeed Ottobathrust, love this analogy!

        4. What is also the case is that these ‘potential suiciders’ are actually the ones that are crying out for the light(houses) more than any and they are the ones that are the most open to the light(houses)…so ignite the lamps, polish the mirrors, clean the glass…and get shining. My cousin wrote a fascinating book on the building of Stevenson’s lighthouses – the astonishing lengths, perils and hardship that they endured to light up the darkness. Very humbling.

     2. Yes these suicide rates are an absolute indictment – one person committing suicide is already a shocker never mind these insane numbers and all those children. Why are we more interested to hear about what a celebrity or sport person is up to and all the trivia we consume than address these very real and in our face issues?

        1. So true Nicola. Perhaps we only notice when it happens to a family member, or someone very close? I absolutely hold my hands up in admitting that I have turned my back on zillions of statistics, facts and day-to-day horrors like this. But I also know that my relationship with this is changing hugely as I commit more and more to the ONE that we all are.

        2. Such a valid point Nicola. These statistics are alarming and yet we choose to not deal with the core of the issue which lies in the lack of community awareness and an understanding that there is another way- suicide is not the answer.

222. MAS expresses a very important perspective here, in that for many people the world is a very bleak and hostile environment in which they do not feel safe, and it is the quality of livingness that Universal Medicine presents, that builds the bridge for many people back to their self-worth, their hearts, and thence to a life that is not just existing , but truly living.

     1. Nicely said. The sensitivity of many people who find the world overwhelming can be both acknowledged and worked with, resulting in a renewed commitment to life and an acceptance of it. However bleak it might seem it is possible to be joyful and there are hundreds of Universal Medicine students who can attest to this turnaround in perspective.

     2. Its hard to even conceive of how different life is when we begin to connect to ourself, as presented by Universal Medicine. The bleakness disappears, and instead there is potential, joy and love, and this is not dependent on the outside world, but almost inexplicably (but definitely truly) comes from within. This connection is available equally for all.

     3. That bridge is so important cjames2012. And we really aren’t aware as much as we should be of how many people make their way through the world as you say – not feeling safe. That is such a massive thing that we need to look at as a whole.

        1. ‘That is such a massive thing that we need to look at as a whole’ – so important simplesimon888. What is going on for one is going on for all, therefore we cannot approach it in isolation. All must be considered.

     4. Well said cjames2012, the world as it moves faster more and more people are feeling disillusioned and left behind as the world rushes by. Universal Medicine is allowing the world to slow down for us to see what is really happening around us and regain what we thought we had lost.

     5. I agree cjames2012, I can vouch for this as Universal Medicine was indeed my bridge back to ‘me’ as I was one who viewed the world as a “very bleak and hostile environment”.

223. Thank you so much for putting all this down on paper. I have a sense that there are many, many people who have thought about, considered and/or attempted suicide. Until reading this article I would not have put myself in this category but, humbled by your honesty, know that my life has been intermittently peppered with not being able to make any sense of the world and wanting to escape my pain. From isolation and despair to a sense of true belonging and inspiration, supported every step of the way by Universal Medicine, I have turned the trajectory of my life around completely. Through simple, practical steps such as attentively hydrating my body; dressing for the weather and being warm; taking myself to bed and tucking in as I would a child, I am building a totally different relationship with myself and life…huge and simple.

     1. Matilda like you share sometimes we just need that extra support and guidance like we have got from Universal Medicine to turn our life around. Bringing it back to simplicity, self care and self nurturing is a start to self appreciating.

        1. It does sound too simple but caring for, nurturing and appreciating ourselves does work. I feel in a way I am at the beginning stages with these, but I have to say that these things have supported me to be where I am today.

     2. What you describe in your comment matildaclark is a perfect description of my before life and after life of meeting Serge Benayon and Universal Medicine, and I suspect is pretty much the same for the thousands more worldwide who keep returning again and again to the courses and presentations by this man.

        1. Absolutely jacqmcfadden04, I can very much relate to what MAS is describing here, and also to the fact that it’s mainly our own self harming behaviours and lack of self-love that really makes life unbearable. The amazing this is though that this is a choice, and we can always make another choice. Reaching out is so important. When we are truly ready for a change, the support will be there, like for MAS, finding the right practitioner when she was ready.

        2. This is true. Our own choices and lack of self love make life unbearable, but the amazing grace is always there.

     3. Thank you for your honesty Matilda, I wonder how many people don’t even realise they have symptoms of depression and anxiety, and just learn to cope as best they can? I can also relate to having Universal Medicine as a massive support in my life, especially through the historically rocky teenage years where so many young people need help, guidance and loving support to find who they are and not get swept away in the tumult of exams stress and peer pressure and everything else experienced at that age.

     4. I agree Matilda, I felt the pain too, differently, and escaped from it differently. But I had no idea what true self care was, or how it could feel, until I came to know the family of Universal Medicine. I now have that wonderful golden marker where I feel the love in, and of, my body, and am working to deepen my practise and return to the love whenever i stray.

     5. Beautifully put, Matilda. What I have continuously marvelled at is just how much my life has changed through those simple things like taking care of myself with warmer clothes. But it is not the fact of wearing a jumper when I need to that is the big change, it is the fact of feeling that I am worth taking care of, and that I am worth feeling lovely and loved by myself which has been the absolutely massive shift in my life.

     6. This is the important revelation here Matilda. Whether we have ever considered suicide ourselves or not, to what level have we withdrawn from life? To what level have we felt despaired, miserable, and that we and the world lacks true meaning and purposefulness?
        I know I experienced many of the latter for many a year – acutely sensing the meaningless of a life of struggle, pushing oneself to ‘make ends meet’ and living a life of compromise. I felt this from childhood…
        It was not until coming to the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine that I realised that life could be very, very different. It has taken dedication and a willingness to uncover all that has not been true, to dismantle the compromises and reclaim a strong sense of who I am, but today Joy is a constant, vitality is like it has never been, and my work, commitments and relationships are full of a richness and potent learning ground for deeper growth than I could ever have imagined.
        Every life is worth turning around and connecting to the steadfastness and richness that MAS has described, and her story shows how readily possible this is. Amazing.

224. ‘Nowadays if I feel hurt by something that has happened in my life, I allow myself time to feel the fragility that is in my body and I nurture myself with tenderness instead of abusing myself.’
     This is a great reminder, MAS, to hold myself in love no matter what situation is occurring. How often did I blame myself after having been hurt instead of developing true understanding, feel the fragility and hold myself in tenderness.

225. MAS, you presented the simple key how to get out of the situation you were in (depression? being suicidal?) – self-care but with gentleness and later with love.

     1. Agreed Christoph Schnelle. Simple steps, presented so clearly in the work and teachings of Serge Benhayon, that offer us the way back to ourselves and the very real potential of a relationship with self that is rich, fulfilling, deeply meaningful and yes, full of joy.
        Not too many years ago I would have said that to live with a consistent knowing of joy within me was ‘fairytale stuff’ (even though I was as a rule, a pretty happy person – known for smiling a lot 🙂 ). Today such consistent joy is a reality – truly miraculous and so worth sharing in the face of so much entrenched misery and despair such as MAS has only touched the tip of here (and is still so deeply alarming)…

226. Statistics never lie. The intensity of those stats that you have shared with us are significantly alarming.

     1. Very true Jeffrey. Statistics and evidence don’t lie, so it’s pretty crazy that even though suicide numbers have gone through the roof recently (and all info is made available to the public as well), little is being done about it or changing.

227. Cyber abuse is something that is still hiding under the radar Doug, in terms of victims having any legal come-back. Where is the freedom for the person under attack? It seems that we need to look at this form of abuse more closely. And even if our kids are not being directly abused, there is so much abusive content, music, images and games that can influence kids to feel despairing and depressed.

228. The statistic are staggering I have to agree Doug. But statistics alone are not representing the total effect of suicide. The effect on family members, friends, emergency service workers and those who may see or find someone who has just suicided. So really like any illness and disease it touches many many people.

     1. Well said Jennifer. The statistics do not come close to reflecting the huge ripple effect of a person taking their life. Those left behind have to deal with the loss for the rest of their lives, including the professionals involved.

     2. Very true Jennifer. One of the things that is not discussed very much is the pain of those in that ripple effect, the anger, the constant wondering if anything could have been done differently. There is also a small voice that says…well if they couldn’t cope and that is how they handled not coping, how am I any different. It must be good to have all of those noises stop. Taking time to listen to those left behind and supporting them goes on for much longer than the initial support most often offered to people in that ripple effect. The discussion that happens with these blogs is very valuable.

229. MAS you are truly beautiful and inspiring. It takes huge commitment and honesty to come from where you have been to where you are.

     1. And to share your story with the world. Thank you.

230. I love this line: “The psychologist encouraged me to treat myself like I was 3 years old again – delicate, precious, gentle and tender” . To relate to myself in this way is something to continue to deeply ponder, for example, the way I hold my body when I go through my day and how little tension there is in a three year old.

231. “By allowing this fragility I give myself the chance to return more easily to an inner strength and sense of wellbeing, enabling me to come back to myself more easily.” This is gold and once fragility is understood as a strength and not a weakness or opportunity to self-bash, it is life changing. Your last paragraph describing the love and support you have received expanded me as I read it – confirming the inner-knowing we all have that love is the foundation and heart of EVERYTHING.

232. Fabulous to read. I relate to most of what you have written – and been presented with also that I am not the sum of my hurts but am first an incredible, gorgeous, loving individual. The behaviours still pop up but the foundation of love is now strong enough to return to this love and not go back to my old comfortable habits of feeling not good enough and checking out of life. Thank you so much for this incredibly healing opportunity to read and your honest sharing.

233. Your life experience and wisdom should be shared in teenage magazines MAS – instead of dosing teens up with anti-depressants or anti-phycotic drugs your blog introduces another way that actually makes a difference. Many people, young and old will learn much from your story.

234. I can relate to much of what you’ve so openly shared MAS. I was not abused physically as a child but I still shut down my light from other outside forces, like the energy I felt from jealousy and alcohol. I gave up big time, turning to drugs, food and self abuse to wipe myself out and not be part of the world. It is so inspiring to feel the depths we can come back from and know that untouched essence is ever present inside us all. It just takes time and the upmost care to re-establish the connection to what we have always had.

235. A strong presence of commitment and loving dedication is woven throughout your blog MAS. For me, it confirms what Serge Benhayon has told me, that true self-love does not happen in an instant, it is a process and to be patient.

236. I am shocked to read that a child as young as 5 years would even think of suicide. You have certainly opened up my limited awareness around this MAS. A wonderful reminder that we all carry a huge responsibility in life and the consequences of our choices are enormous.

237. MAS, I deeply appreciate your sharing and I will have to read it again. I’ve also been through years of suicidal thoughts and pre-suicidal actions, and what touches me the most is the beauty of you returning through self-care, love and honoring your fragility. It’s healing to read your words…

238. MAS, it is a revelation when one realises as you did, that “True self-care involved embracing a deeply loving and nurturing quality in all my movements and activities throughout the day”. Thank you for this reminder that true self-care is an ever-deepening process that we can take into every activity throughout our day. This is very inspiring.

239. Another statistic to add to the collection – Suicide in Australia is the leading cause of death in men aged between 25 and 44.

240. A lot of people don’t like to acknowledge that suicide is in fact quite common and that my understanding is that it kills more people in Australia each year than deaths by road accidents. It really is a subject that needs to brought out into the open more, as does the whole topic of death generally. MAS what you have given the world here is a beautiful portrayal of the way that people can find a way through their despair through true self care. Thank you.

241. Thank you MAS for sharing your story. It opens us all up to the feelings of emptiness and pain that you and so many more have felt. The part that shone for me was ‘The path to love and joy came from the simple act of introducing true self-care and self-love into my life, and what I discovered was how much I really do matter.’ We are all so precious and taking the steps back to love begins with us.

     1. Yes Kathryn, for someone on the verge of suicide self care and self-love can make the difference between life and death. You could tell that MAS meant it when she said this is the last thing I will try.

242. MAS the way you have shared here is extremely courageous and it is clear that you have shared here in pure service to allow others to know that the path out of despair is simple if not easy. The way you have turned your life around is nothing short of a miracle, a miracle that you chose. Thank you.

243. Your story says it all MAS, we can start healing all our hurts by giving ourselves the love we truly deserve to feel yet again the love that we all truly are.

244. The report that you quoted have alarming statistics. One that stopped me is:
     – In 2009 death by suicide accounted for 9.9% of children’s deaths, which escalated in 2013 to 19.3%.
     Incredible that almost 1 in 5 of children deaths are because of suicide. That we’re not talking about this in the newspapers, magazines, etc. is hard to believe / accept. How far do we accept it to go. 1 IN 5!!!!!! And what does this mean to the children not commiting suicide but do walk around with suicidal thoughts or thoughts about not liking, let alone loving themselves. Alarmbells should go of, everywhere. We are to appreciate our children and support them to (start) self-care. That they are definitely worth it to be cherished and adored. Because they are! As everyone.

245. There is a real game changer of a sentence in this blog about when we feel hurt is it possible we can stay raw and open, honour our sensitivity and fragility and simply be even more tender and nurturing with ourselves, rather than try to numb, harden or distract from what we are feeling which inevitably involves some form of self-abuse? Just this simple practice alone changes everything we know about our hurts and our behaviours.

246. Hi MAS, thank you for sharing your re-connecting to self and how to self care at a deeper level brought forth the amazingness of you. I loved your comment – ‘The path to love and joy came from the simple act of introducing true self-care and self-love into my life, and what I discovered was how much I really do matter’. Very Beautiful and very simple.

247. So great MAS that you have described here true self love – bringing that gentle and tender quality to all our movements during the day. It is so much deeper and broader than just eating well and getting enough sleep and in my experience having tried it out it results in much deeper healing.

248. What I love about what you’ve written and how you’ve written it is the sensitivity and gentleness. It’s the gentleness and understanding for yourself which allowed you to take one step at a time, allowing things (and greater understandings) to reveal themselves. So often we can be rough, hard and get frustrated with ourselves if things aren’t changing – but this only serves to block the potential clarity that can come from treating ourselves with gentleness, love and understanding.

249. It’s a shocking statistic to realise that kids between 5-17 have the highest rate of suicide! Can I say that again: 5 years old to 17 years old!!! I mean, imagine a 5 year old committing suicide? This shows us there is something in this world that has to change, that does not sit right if the youth that we have don’t want to be a part of this life any more.
     What you have shared, MAS, is very powerful in that you offer everyone the possibility that things can be taken into your own hands, not in the sense of committing suicide but in the sense of seeking true support so that we can work our way out of this mess together.

250. “suicide increased 8% over five years and claimed the lives of 2520 Australians in 2013 alone.”- these statistics are very alarming indeed! Thank you Mas for being an inspiration to those you suffer from suicidal thought that there is indeed another bright loving way out of the dark tunnel.

251. “I had given up on myself, believing I was unworthy of love, and made myself insignificant for over 20 years. So much time was spent obsessing and hanging on to my hurts, instead of nurturing and caring for myself deeply, and allowing myself the chance to just let go and shine.” I didn’t realise the extent to which I had given up on life and used my hurts to protect me and hide behind until I came to Universal Medicine and recognised how much of life i had let go of. I was no longer participating in life but making it as comfortable as I could, and doing what I needed to get by. By re-cliaiming my life and returning to the true me I can feel a joy and love for life and I no longer wake each day with an anxiousness of what the day will bring.

252. Its inspiring to read that now when you feel hurt you don’t react to the hurt, but “…allow myself time to feel the fragility that is in my body and I nurture myself with tenderness instead of abusing myself.”

     1. This comment Peter is one of life’s greatest gifts we can share with all children, to not react to hurts but to give time to feel the fragility in our body. As adults, we can learn to nurture our own inner child with tenderness, instead of giving ourselves a hard time. It is never too late to make loving changes no matter what our age is.

253. By allowing ourselves to be vulnerable we discover how strong we in fact are.
     How cool is that?

254. Mas, it is amazing to read about how you turned your life around and very inspiring that with commitment this turnaround is possible, ‘Yet, with incredible commitment, I continued day after day, introducing this gentle approach in all activities, a practice that I am refining even today.’

255. I was quite taken aback with the high numbers of suicides – especially with the numbers of the younger age groups. What an amazing journey of self discovery MAS. As you share so beautifully it is a continuous refining each and every day to whatever presents itself and the strong foundation you are cementing with love. To bring self love, self care/ nurturing into your life – a joyous gift indeed.

256. These statistics of suicide are alarming, but they seem to not be talked about. This is the ‘leading’ killer of Australians between 15 and 44 and no doubt the statistics for other countries may be similar. This needs to be the front page news.

257. ‘There were moments where I did feel amazing, but when I stepped up and expressed this I felt set upon by those around me and soon I gave up on shining my light at all.’ How sad that we are not encouraged from birth to enjoy shining our light and to truly appreciate the light in everyone. This will change and when it does, the world will be an amazing place.

258. An amazing account MAS – you have made an incredible turnaround from living a life in self abuse and self destruction to a life in harmony and deep value of yourself. Stories like this is what our world needs to hear, that true change is indeed possible. Truly inspiring!

259. Welcome back to the love and joy that is you MAS.
     What you share here is deeply healing.

260. For many of us, it is hard to imagine what disastrous situations some people go through. In some situations, there are people who cannot see a way out and suicide seems to be the only option. I have done quite well in creating a difficult life for myself in the past, but not to the extent of some of the stories I have heard. Yes, love is the truth of who we are, but for some this is so far from their lived experience it would be unfathomable. But all hope is not lost, because even in those that are hurting so badly, there is still a glimmer of light. Like you MAS, it’s never too late to turn things around.

261. Thanks Katie for your comment. I can attest that it is so difficult to shift these self abusive thoughts and they dominate like a dog with a bone … I was so stubborn about my lack of worth that not even Serge would convince me (well not in the early days anyhow). But somehow, very slowly, as I made one small change at a time, these thoughts lost their power. You are right that it is hard to digest that the key to healing is one of self care and self love … it’s something people say “oh yeah” and then go on in their miserable state. If only the world knew just how important it is !!!

262. How are we living that even our children as young as 5 are now suiciding! It is time for us to wake up from our stupour. Something is very wrong with the world we are propagating. Serge Benhayon’s presentation have been calling all of us, humanity, to a greater level of responsibility for over a at least the past 16 years. I had heard about the issues about cyber abuse, the pressure of sexting and many other issues that is particularly facing our young, but until seeing the figures within this article had not allowed myself to feel the devastation about the society we have created. As MAS says it is important to live with care and love within our own life and then as so many comments here acknowledge we need to fully and with purpose apply that love to the world.

263. Thank you for sharing your experience with depression and suicidal thoughts so openly. And thank you also for the statistics; I have had two suicides in my family and another two among my close friends and it is a huge mental health that could well take a page or more out of Esoteric Healing and the Ageless Wisdom. Much great work is being done but the latter two could be a true turning point for this epidemic.

264. WOW what a turn around – “Perhaps the biggest hurdle, however, was coming to the understanding that although the actions and abuse from others may have felt cruel and loveless, what hurt me so much more was becoming trapped in a cycle of self-abuse for which I was actually responsible” This is HUGE and how amazing you are now able to see this clearly. – what a healing – this blog is deeply inspiring and offers so much. Thank you for sharing MAS

265. Wow MAS, those stats are alarming – so many unhappy young people. I recently went to a Mental Health Forum where I was able to pose the Question to the Panel on what they felt was different from say … 30 years ago where depression was hardly heard of and how were we going to manage mental illness over the next 30 years which is on the rise? They struggled to answer these questions, not really having a way forward. Mental health is growing into alarming stats and organisations like Universal Medicine (UM) are the only people I know that are addressing these issues at the root cause and not just providing a band-aid effect. It was clear from the forum that attention is required in this area and that the Health System is busting at the seams.

     MAS your story gives hope to those who are willing to embrace Self Care and Self Nurturing and who are also willing to work on their hurts. Society sometimes poo poo’s this sort of stuff, calling it new age, but the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine could not be further from the new age movement – their is a real practicality and science to the Ageless Wisdom that is simple and easy to understand; the teachings presented by UM will literally change your life, not by taking any magic pill, but instead by being consistent in your every day living where making life about love in all that you do is number 1. The choices you make is what will literally change the course of things for years, and years to come.

     1. I also went to a youth mental health forum recently. The answers that many of the panel gave were lifestyle related, food, sleep, exercise and a steady routine in life. This introduced self-empowerment and self-responsibility and the practical levels of self-care. Whereas most of the people in the audience just wanted improved services. As MAS’s story shows, without self-love and self-care, healing of the root cause will not happen, no matter how many psychologists we see.

        1. It’s interesting reflecting on wanting more or improved services, given that budgets for organisations that provide these services are pretty much stretched to capacity. Something that I have wondered about is at some point there is no more because we simply can’t afford the more. This shows that more is not necessarily better, especially if more is about producing more of the same, without offering true change for people. MAS story highlights that self-care (in the least) and self-love is actually a responsibility and this is what truly supports the services that are there to actually work, in the fashion that they are designed to. To practically support people while they get themselves back in their feet.

266. This is so inspiring and beautiful to read and feel the changes and the love you have connected to in your life, what a great sharing. The little everyday changes of loving gentleness and presence and the connection that brings, and the truly living of life from this and healing ones hurts with self care is so real and simple and something not usually taught or shown to us in life as the suicide rates show. What an amazing turnaround in your life and what an inspiration this is for everyone. Living the love we all truly are, connecting to the beauty inside us all thank you for sharing this.

267. “Feeling into the depths of how hurtful and cruel this world is, we are being honest and not numbed of what is actually going on in human life.” This is an important fact. Understanding that putting blinkers on or turning away does not change anything that is going on is vitally important to the true health and vitality of our world’s people.

268. “Treating myself like a 3 year old”. I too am learning to re-parent myself. And to me this is exactly that; allowing myself to fall on my bum without any judgement, critique or comparison….and then just getting up again and having another go. It sounds easy – but I find it very hard. Aeons of judgement and aeons of self-fury at the non-loving choices that I have made will often push me in to a space from which I am a terrible parent to myself. How crazy is it that I can be deeply loving, patient and open with a child, yet with myself I turn into some kind of Victorian-ogre-head-master; equipped with cane, detention, ice-cold showers or whatever other gruelling punishment!!

     1. That is spot on ottobathurst. We are even more loving and understanding to our pets than to ourselves. I love treating myself like a 3 year old and really feel I deserve it.

        1. I love it too. Yet I still often resist it. Because even though it is gorgeous it also reveals hurts. But, here’s the beautiful thing, the more I do it, the less the hurts hurt me – because I am parenting myself properly! I am allowing myself the space and grace to feel whatever I am feeling and I am not passing judgement nor imposing expectations or ideals. It’s brilliant to be finessing this (there is a way to go) because it just means that I am becoming a better parent for myself and my children and friends and everyone really, this time, next time and around and around.

     2. I’m ‘re-parenting’ myself too ottobathurst. And sometimes I’m not a great parent!!
        It’s crazy how we can find it easier to hurt ourselves than be deeply loving, patient and understanding with ourselves. We can choose self harm and abuse on a smaller scale in the thoughts we let in, in how we treat our bodies, in over/under eating, keeping people out, not honouring our need for sleep, in beating ourselves up… so many different ways. We need to ask ourselves why as it is so much deeper e.g. overeating is not really an issue about food. This blog is an amazing reminder of the power of self-love.

     3. ottobathurst, thank you for sharing how it is for you and I do understand this, as you would know. For many years, I could not be loving to myself and I was the worst head-mistress myself. When I gave birth to my child, I felt such tenderness towards him, I knew to honour him, to listen to him, to watch him, as he brought something special. When I was told to treat myself like I was 3, I had a living and breathing specimen in my home. I knew what was needed, but it was not immediate for the momentum of the self-abuse had a strong hold. My wayward spirit has been wayward, that is for sure, and I was so very hurt like a wounded dog but going gently is the only way. By dropping deeper and deeper into the gorgeous layers of tenderness in your body, you’ll soon know you’ve been set free to be you. I look forward to reading a blog on that from you Otto.

     4. This is so true for so many of us Ottobathrust, myself included, and begs the question ‘what and why is that?’ What I struggle with is just how difficult it is to break through these old patterns despite being fortunate enough to have found the teachings of Serge Benhayon.

        1. The self-flogging is a bit like a well worn rut. It becomes so familiar that we don’t even notice it when the same old self-critical tunes start to play. Yet deliberately treating myself as a sweet child melts this in an instance.

     5. Ottobathrust I have to agree with you there. It’s like I have layers of how I don’t let myself get away with anything. It’s interesting to consider if we are hard task masters on ourselves, how are we really with others?

        1. That is a great and exposing question Jennifer. Because if we are not being loving, understanding and patient to ourselves then how can we be that with others – it may have that appearance, but is it truly the case?

        2. Well said Jennifer ” It’s interesting to consider if we are hard task masters on ourselves, how are we really with others?” as that really is the truth.

        3. This is very true Jennifer….When i’m starting to be hard on myself under the self-imposed ruler of perfection, irritation, or self-critique, find everything else as having the same quality and by virtue it gets seeded into my daily interactions/activity. My day ends up feeling grotty and awful, and I receive this back from people too that compounds the mass irritation or critique! Thank goodness for awareness, so that another choice can be made towards the tenderness and grace Otto speaks of.

     6. Your comment made me laugh Ottobathrust, it is so true, we have been horrible headmasters and parents to ourselves and to our bodies. With Esoteric Medicine we can become loving delicate and tender, understanding that we can make a fresh start every day with these keys, unlocking the love that we innately are.

        1. What I am seeing is that it is perhaps less about making a “fresh start” but more about living from the “what is” rather than the “what is not”. None of us are perfect and we will all always have stuff to work on or areas where we stuff up. But that is just a small blemish, whereas, in truth, we are all, each of us, so very, very much more. So is it perhaps less about trying to make right the “what is not” and more about appreciating and expanding the “what is”?

     7. This is hilarious ottobathurst. Not the fact that we can treat ourselves like this but the picture you have just painted of what it actually looks makes is totally ridiculous. Should we mention dragging ourselves over hot coals for not being perfect!

        1. I was talking with a friend of mine the other evening. Specifically about men, but I’m very sure it’s relevant to women as well, about how totally unforgiving we are to ourselves and to our friends. When do we ever say “yeah, that’s what I thought yesterday, but actually today I’m not so sure, today I actually think something different.”. or “I did that yesterday, but today I’m going to do it a totally different way.” It’s not that we need to be able to say that we were wrong – because that is a judgement in itself – it’s more tender than that – it’s more about being ok with changing, evolving, being more accepting of where we are at and where others are at. We don’t have to have nailed it 100%, the first time round. Do we expect the two year old to walk ten metres, unsupported, in a dead-straight line, the first time he/she stands up???!!! Of course we don’t. But that is exactly what us men (and I say ‘men’ only because it was two men chatting) are expecting of ourselves and of each other. It’s so crazy. And so painful – the tension is so horrible. The pride is so ugly. And I can feel that it is all about relationships – with others and ourselves. If these relationships are built on false expressions, built from behind masks, built upon from the confines of our fortresses, then of course it is hard for us to change the foundations of what we have presented. There is so much to say about this – but what I can say is that it is incredibly beautiful to share a relationship where there is zero judgement for wherever either of you may be today, yesterday or tomorrow. Because, in truth, it’s changing every second so if the relationship doesn’t allow for that then it isn’t a true relationship.

     8. Such a great phrase Otto – self-re-parenting. Yes, we have such a hold or ransom upon ourselves for what we have chosen that’s created the self-fury that it’s rather like a bucket of water needing to be thrown over the hot lava of fury. The gush of water brings required order; that gush of water being acceptance [no ice cold showers required then ha ha].

269. And what is also so magnificent is the dedication and courage that you show to take those steps. I am particularly inspired by your simple but pin-point accurate description of true self-care. You have taken it to the level beyond (not discounting the vital importance of those foundation-building stages). I am having a similar relationship with tenderness and grace. For me those words are now about being tender enough to allow myself to be wrong, to not judge myself, to stay open to what else there is to see and to release myself of the shackles of my long-held imposing belief systems….which requires immense tenderness, grace….and patience.

270. This is such a magnificent story. On so many levels. Firstly in it’s honesty of expression. But what I am so fabulous and game-changing to read is at the absolute simplicity of the tools that you used to live yourself back to love. Your blog will send shivers of fear down every pharmaceutical company, every university, every research centre and every over-charging ‘specialist’ therapist. Love it!!

     1. Yes, Ottobathurst, I agree, in a world where pills are forever on the increase to fix us all. MAS inspires us to engage with the true medicine of life which is learning to live with ourselves in a way that is tender, gentle and in harmony with those around us.

     2. Great point Otto, it puts over complicated ‘identified’ treatments and research to shame. It proves that although pharmaceuticals can be a good support for certain people suffering from depression and mental health issues, they are not necessarily the ‘answer’ – what MAS has shared is the simplicity of building a solid way of living has empowered her to truly heal and not be dependent on anything outside.

        1. It also shows that in time when we trumpet ‘huge technological advances’ and heap praise on the great minds and innovators of our time, there is in fact nothing more deeply intelligent and nothing more game-changingly powerful than the love of ourselves.

     3. Spot on Otto, I love it. ‘ Your blog will send shivers of fear down every pharmaceutical company, every university, every research centre and every over-charging ‘specialist’ therapist

     4. This blog will also offer another way to so many people, were they to have the great fortune to find it. This story should indeed be front page news!

     5. Yes Doug. 100% agreement. There is no pharmacist, doctor, pill or drug wiser (and cheaper) than our own bodies, which is not to say that modern medicine isn’t amazing and a huge and vital support to humanity – but the key to true healing lies within us and within our willingness to see everything that our bodies show us – something I am still a way off mastering.

     6. Me too Doug. If we listen, there is so much wisdom coming from our body. And the more we listen, the more we can be told. What I have noticed is something else – activities that I thought could only be conducted through the mind can actually be conducted through the body. Just one example – appreciation. I had always thought that this was a mental process. You appreciate something, someone, yourself, through your mind – it’s a thought process. But actually it’s not. I now use my body to appreciate, actually using it kind of like a brain, so that the expression of appreciation comes directly from my body. It’s totally different and pretty amazing.

271. Mas what you have shared and turn around is inspiring, there are so many people who are in the same boat as you have been. The statistics are shocking and it feels like there isn’t much support for people going through these feelings. It is beautiful that the Esoteric modalities are available for these who may feel to try.

272. I had have acute suicide thoughts in my life and I also tried it with a more hidden ‘suicide in instalments’, like Overweight, Asthma, Depression, and so on. All signs for not living a vital and active life, signs for not connecting or claiming my life and purpose. Like you say MAS, ‘we all matter’ (!), we all have to bring something to this word what is needed. I found, when I take my responsibility (something I tried to avoided deeply) my life becomes more purpose and with that joyful. When I give up on living my purpose, I become lost and desperate. To claim my responsibility brought back the joy into my life and I am thankful to Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and the Community of students who are with me on The Way of the Livingness for the support and inspiration here.

     1. We make a big deal of suicide rates, but for all those there are many times more who are living with suicidal thoughts or as you have shared Sandra, not having an active and vital life. This is a huge ongoing cost to society where parents are not able to fully engage with their kids, people are not bringing all of themselves to their work and home lives. This is a tragedy.

        1. That’s such a great point Fiona. Many of us do not actually suicide but also do not really live a vital live and so hold back in relationships of all sorts. Could we say nearly everyone? So with every loving choice I make for my own, I can inspire all around me, showing there is another way. A way of living that offers healing.

     2. Hi Sandra, I love this term ‘. . . ‘suicide in installments’ as I reckon everyone can relate to this in one way or the other. I know that I can and in my youth for a short time I had my most intense suicide installment through a relationship with heroin, believing that I would be dead within 6 weeks. That obviously didn’t happen but I was left with a feeling of having totally given up on life until I came across Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and what a God send that was!

        1. And what an absolutely lovely choice that was and is from you Kathleen, to go for this other way of living presented by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. It shows that we always have the opportunity to choose a change in our life. No matter how deep we have fallen (or: how deep we have given up) – we can come back and life can become joyful again.

     3. Sandra, I can totally relate to what you say here about the hidden ‘suicide in instalments’ (what a powerful expression to expose the truth about overweight etc).
        Presentations by Serge Benhayon have inspired me to bring more responsibility and awareness into my life and the joy continues to expand.
        “To claim my responsibility brought back the joy into my life and I am thankful to Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and the Community of students who are with me on The Way of the Livingness for the support and inspiration here”.

273. MAS, your story will be an inspiration to many who are feeling the way you used to feel. It’s astounding that we do not hear more about the statistics of suicide. It is something we are not generally aware of every day but is obviously a huge issue. Thank you for raising more awareness around this.

     1. Yes Rebecca I agree this is a very inspiring story and the statistics of suicide and astounding. The increasing number of young people and children committing suicide is very concerning, the stats often don’t reflect attempts either, thus the numbers there are very high also.

274. That what you learned should be thought everywhere, self love and self care are so important in the acceptance of ourself.

     1. This journey is an example for all who experience struggle, an example that there is another way, and it is possible to transform your life, no matter how dire it has been.

        1. Well said Heather, there is another way and it is always possible to transform our lives; suicide is never the answer, and also, it hurts so many people around that person.

275. “By allowing this fragility I give myself the chance to return more easily to an inner strength and sense of wellbeing, enabling me to come back to myself more easily”.
     How very beautiful Mas, thank you for highlighting self love and self care as the most critical aspect of our healing.
     Thank you for sharing your experiences and your wisdom.

276. MAS when people recover from difficult events in their lives it is possible to still feel the scar of their trauma but it does not feel like that with you. It really does feel that you have truly healed the situations that hurt you so deeply and you now feel wonderfully fleshed out in a glorious fullness. An amazing transformation from within.

277. What you have shared, MAS, is exposing the lovelessness which is expressed in our society and world. It seems even if there is no suicide commited often people give the feeling that they are already dead on the inside, as they are not emmanating any vibrancy.

278. MAS you are living proof of the power of self responsibility and true self care and that there is another way.

279. Feeling into the depths of how hurtful and cruel this world is, we are being honest and not numbed of what is actually going on in human life. Not indulging in or being led away by emotions, requires the consistent foundations we have built in our bodies through self-love and self-care. I am marvelling each day how amazing it is to have a physical body and how truly precious it is in support of the grand expression that is possible when it is aligned to the love that we truly are.

     1. This has been my experience diningwithoneandwithlove, and is a super point; the foundations of self-care and self-nurture have supported me greatly to not indulge or resist any hurts that come up for healing and thus, I am not led away by my old emotional behaviour….

280. MAS, reading your article has allowed me to see the power of true media. Imagine if the media were reporting stories like yours that have such an impact on anyone who reads it. Thank you for your willingness to say it as it is, this is the only way that things can and will change for individuals and society.

     1. I agree Elizabeth, this is such a powerful article that is so raw and true. For people to read the reality that the way forwards is by choosing Love for themselves, this will help change many lives. It’s confirmation to read this story that has ended returning to your true self, that was in there all the time.

     2. Welcome back to the love and joy that is you MAS.
        What you share here is deeply healing.

     3. Elizabeth this is so true. The power of true media could actually save lives.

     4. Awesome point you raise about seeing the true power of media Elizabeth.

281. Choosing love and being love is the deepest healing and reflection we can offer to ourselves and to a world which we feel is lacking in love. Empowering ourselves we offer reflection and alchemy to the world inspiring true change.

     1. I love this comment. It supports a new way of thinking and being. Rather than reacting to the lovelessness around us but shutting down, withdrawing, becoming sad or angry it invites us to respond by choosing to be loving. As you say – the deepest healing you can bring to yourself and others. Powerful.

282. We all have a grand love within us equally, but many of us have no clue how to bring forth this love into the reality of life, myself included. It was as if this love was one thing, and our body, the vehicle of expression of this love, was another totally separate thing. That is one of the biggest ignorance we have chosen in to delay evolution. As simple as it is, and it is really that simple, self-care, self-love and self-nurturing will make the connection between the two. What is so deeply precious, naturally has to be expressed through a physical vehicle which is equally precious.

283. Your blog is really inspiring and full of such wisdom from true, lived experience. Each paragraph contains a real gem. I particularly liked ‘The path to love and joy came from the simple act of introducing true self-care and self-love into my life, and what I discovered was how much I really do matter.’

     1. I agree, the statement “I discovered … how much I really do matter” stand out for me as well. It is a real turning point when we get there and the start of a whole new life, one that is definitely worth living.

     2. I agree Cathy – the whole blog is full of real gems.

     3. I agree Cathy; this blog is really inspiring because it is a real life story as opposed to just theory. And it is a real example of the power of developing true self-love and care in our lives.

284. When being consumed by dark thoughts, there is a feeling of absolute hopelessness and desperation, I remember those thoughts too consuming me at one point in my life. What I felt in that moment was clear, that those thoughts felt so convincing, yet they were not from me, and when I came back to myself, those thoughts became powerless. And even though the thoughts felt scary at the time, it was clear that they were not bigger than me—so there must be something within us that is more powerful.

     1. Well said…those thoughts are not from us and, when in connection with our innate essence, just one word, or one look can dispel the dark thoughts and the illusion that are in any way part of us.

285. MAS It’s so supportive to read about how you developed love in your body and how that took patience and dedication – 3 years to feel what love was to feel like in your body. I know I am inspired by what you’ve written to do that same for myself. Thank you.

     1. Yes that is absolute dedication to yourself and would have taken lots of consistency including gently dusting yourself off when you fell and getting back on your feet again. This has inspired me too as I know this is the loving discipline I need to practise for myself.

286. I must say I was unpleasantly surprised to read of the increase in people taking their own lives over the last few years and am wondering why these stats are not common knowledge. The fact of the increase says to me that we are ignoring those who are wanting to connect with themselves and are finding no reflection in the outside world to confirm this within themselves Sharing what we know about true self care, as does MAS here, is one certain way to reduce these figures and to show others that there is indeed another away to be in life, a life can be joyful and a validation of self.

     1. Having read your comment coleen24, it sinks in even deeper how important and needed the reflections of people already living this other way of self-care, self-nurture and self-appreciation….We all have an equal part to play in the change humanity is calling for.

        1. I completely agree, jacqmcfadden04: we most certainly all do have the responsibility of bringing that true reflection to all – not with the heaviness of a burdened responsibility, but with the joy in life and a light heart.

     2. It also makes me aware how important it is that the world be offered a true reflection of love as was given to me …

        1. MAS this is huge as indeed this is what will bring us healing in the first place, a true reflection of love and the essence of who we are. Without it is very difficult to see through the thick fog of all the things we have created in the world around us.

        2. Absolutely so, MAS: without each offering a true to all, we are all lost and wandering in the desert.

        3. MAS this is a super important point – the world needs to be offered a true reflection of love. What Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine brings to humanity is of a value far beyond words.

     3. I could repeat your words Coleen24, I found also, that the statistics as presented by MAS quite shocking, unbelievable really – commencing from the age of 5 in children – how can there be such despair in young children that result in wanting to finish with life here, how can this be not recognized and addressed more ably. How can these statistics be just numbers that are allowed, tolerated and swept under the carpet.
        Where is the reflection of Love in the world all around us that is the truth of our essence – what is causing it to be hidden from view. I also so appreciate the blog by MAS and for sharing her trasformational story and inspirational outcome, and value deeply the fact of these sites made available through Universal Medicine to enable the message of surrendering to the joy of life being there for all by reflection.

287. MAS, the love within ourselves must be so grand for life to consistently reflect back to us that, in and through the challenges, there is a love so deep and unwavering guiding us through when we choose to accept this truth.

     1. That’s so true D – I can appreciate where I have come from and just how completely loved I am by somethings Divine that encompassing everything.

     2. That is beautifully expressed. There is a love within each of us that is there to be surrendered to.

288. What a beautiful and true definition you offer of self care, MAS: “True self-care involved embracing a deeply loving and nurturing quality in all my movements and activities throughout the day.” This goes way beyond the accepted norm of self care and offers a way for us to return to valuing and holding ourselves as the truly precious beings we are.

     1. I agree, Coleen, the definition offered by MAS of self-care: “True self-care involved embracing a deeply loving and nurturing quality in all my movements and activities throughout the day.” is a much needed expansion. Often they only ask wether you do sports of drink enough water and this doesn’t “offers a way for us to return to valuing and holding ourselves as the truly precious beings we are.”

289. Yes MAS, as you say “…there can be joy in life.” and I feel from your sharing your own personal experience of pain and despair and ultimate transformation from coming to your own awareness of the responsibility one has to live this life that we have been given, and with this awareness now see that we have also chosen to have at this time for our own various learnings will thus inspire others who may also be on the brink. What a glorious outcome and realization, and I feel the glorious reflection you are from your expression. Thank you.

     1. Beautiful comment Roberta taking responsibility to committing to live this life we have been given. A very inspiring comment on a very inspiring blog.

290. ‘Nowadays if I feel hurt by something that has happened in my life, I allow myself time to feel the fragility that is in my body and I nurture myself with tenderness instead of abusing myself.’ It is amazing how we can make things worse by piling hurt on top of hurt by abusing ourselves. As you have shared it is so much more loving and healing for us when we stop and are willing to treat ourselves with great tenderness at these moments.

291. How you turned your life and abusive and critical thoughts around to now feeling a deep love and appreciation for yourself is inspiring and amazing MAS. Your story would be so powerfully supportive for anyone living with these intense feelings everyday or anyone with less than loving thoughts. This part was profound for me: “Nowadays if I feel hurt by something that has happened in my life, I allow myself time to feel the fragility that is in my body and I nurture myself with tenderness instead of abusing myself.” I can so relate to this, and how I have quite easily gone into being harder on myself when I’m hurt, which of course hurts even more. Thanks for the reminder and sharing this with everyone.

     1. Same for me Aimee, I have observed when I was feeling hurt by a family member, I went into hardness so as not to feel the hurt, which I realised is a very old habit of mine; the ‘not wanting to feel’. Also how harming it was in my body. When I let this go, and returned to my tenderness, my thoughts were so much gentler and wiser….allowing me to truly see what was at play, and what was needed.

292. The figures in the report are shocking so is the fact that instead of people letting their light shine they instead feel they have to stay in the sadness, hurt or anger. We absolutely need to change the way we are with one another and greater support systems need to be in place for those that need it. Currently all these valuable resources are being cut at a time they are needed more. Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine are a guiding light highlighting the importance of many things including how to look after ourselves and others and showing there is indeed light at the end of the so called ‘tunnel’.

     1. Very true Vicky. At school I know there are a huge amount of teenagers and kids that contemplate suicide, have tried to commit suicide, self harm, have depression, anxiety and many other mental health problems…. This is too common and you’re right in pointing out the lack of support systems…

     2. What you say Vicky is so true and the most significant being that Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine are a guiding light. Their support, guidance and love that they have brought, and bring, for so many cannot be over stated.

     3. Well said vicky – We are not the depression, the sadness or the utter despair and darkness. That guiding Light is what makes up 80% of who we are and therefore the way forward – humanity needs only to say ‘yes’ to it.

     4. Absolutely Vicky – Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine’s teachings are life changing. It offers an understanding of how very important it is to honour ourselves and listen to our bodies, a way to start to truly deeply care for ourselves.

293. It would be wonderful to see self-care and self-love principles as a basis for all work in organisations that support victims of abuse. What a powerful way forward that would offer.

     1. Yes Victoria – its so simple, yet not embraced as the norm… yet!

     2. It sure would Victoria. A very powerful way forward!

294. MAS it is remarkable that you have come from someone who used to not want to live or be in the world, to now walking and feeling love inside your body. You have walked the steps, and made the choices to self love and nurture, that have allowed you to feel this once again. I love what you have shared here about choosing to be tender, instead of hardening when we feel hurt. Our default program, that the world we live in propagates, is closing off and defending our hurts. Learning to be open, in a world that fosters the opposite can be difficult. It’s time we started to reverse this paradigm of dominant hardness, so we all can live the love we innately are always.

     1. Well said Amelia, it is high time we reversed the trend and start to openly share just how tender and precious we are instead of turning our bodies into armour plating to avoid feeling the pain. We are so precious and we feel everything, sometimes very intensely and this is not a failing but a true strength. When we are able to connect to a strong inner stillness it becomes our anchor when everything else seems very turbulent, enabling us to begin to observe our emotions and identify our true essence buried deep inside where it has always been. I am eternally grateful to Serge Benhayon for introducing the Gentle Breath Meditation, a genuine tool of connection that has supported so many of us, MAS and self included to come back from the brink of self destruction and re-claim our true glory.

295. It’s fantastic that you’ve expanded the (often limited) understanding of self-care here MAS. So many are dismissive of self-care, believing they have it nailed because they take care of their basic health needs or beyond that, allow time for pampering. Here we learn self-care is actually more aligned with self-love and exists at a far deeper level than what we have typically allowed or understood.

296. The power of self-care and self-love is very much re-affirmed in this blog. Thank you MAS for sharing your story once again, along with this illustration.

297. An extraordinary account of you choosing love and care in your life and choosing to stop the cycle of self-abuse. I was quite blown away reading it this morning and would love to see stories like these published on many mediums for the world to see. Love is the path of return and it starts with taking great care of yourself. Thank you MAS.

298. MAS you bring self-responsibility to the fore here and it was without being harsh with yourself. But rather you took responsibility through the quality of self-love and self-care. That inspires me as I know I can bring more of this to my everyday. Thank you.

299. MAS, thank you for sharing your story. It makes me wonder about how many people can relate to how you were living and what you shared. Thank you for showing us what your life was like and how you felt… I’m glad you found the psychologist when you did. It’s amazing what can happen when we are understood and truly listened too. I liked what you shared about self caring- “True self-care involved embracing a deeply loving and nurturing quality in all my movements and activities throughout the day” so it’s about the quality, and not the motions one goes through or does.

300. Thank you MAS for this great article and personal story. I was aware that suicide was a problem but was not aware of how huge the problem truly was until I read these statistics. This should be big headlines in all newspapers and listed as a catastrophe of living in our society today. Suicide is very much like a destructive cyclone in that when it hits there is a huge devastation affecting many people and in fact a reflection for the whole of society that the way we are living is not working. MAS you are an amazing inspiration showing everyone that it is possible to change your life around instead of opting out. With taking the responsibility to deal with the issues/hurts and live in a way that is self loving and self honouring it shows us all there is a better way.

301. ‘It took about three years for me to feel love for myself. The moment was memorable. One lunch break at work I decided to go for a walk and there it was – the feeling of LOVE inside my body.’

     Dear MAS, sometimes it takes a time for us to feel the love and beauty we are. Amazing how you have come back to that in such a consistent and committed way. My appreciation.

302. Such a touching story and so much I can relate to. “So much time was spent obsessing and hanging on to my hurts, instead of nurturing and caring for myself deeply”. I have come to realize exactly what you say, that I have spent and wasted so much time that I can actually use to nurture and care for myself. The problem is not the hurt, but how much longer we make it by holding on to it for years and years. Every moment we have the chance to change that cycle, let go of the obsession and deeply care for ourselves. It does not matter so much that they did not care for me, it matters that I can care for myself right now.

     1. ‘It does not matter so much that they did not care for me, it matters that I can care for myself right now’ – this dissolves the blame and so much of the enmeshed attachment to all that was done wrong to us. Aware of the fact that we are in our own driving seats we get to appreciate and accept that we choose every turning.

        1. When I want to hang on to the hurt and make it last, I find it annoying that anybody points out responsibility or the fact that I am choosing to make it last. It is a very persistent mechanism that I have to dissolve if I want to evolve, or what is commonly understood as “move on”, but move on with the love and the understanding, instead of the blame and the resentment.

303. This is an amazing and inspiring blog, thank you for sharing your journey so far MAS. It is amazing how through life significant people and events can take place at the exactly the right time to offer us the opportunity to accept support to move on from one particular point to another. As in ‘When I was at the peak of an emotional crisis and had almost completely given up on living, a friend happened to come to my house to see me. She had just been to a psychologist and was in awe of what had been presented to her.’ If we remain open to these moments as they are presented to us we can find that we are offered amazing support to evolve.

     1. I agree Michael, there is always support there for us whenever we need it we just have to be open to it. So often when I am not feeling great I can go stubbornly into defence and react yet it is at these times I need to be more honest and truthful. Then when I am everything opens up and I clearly see what is going on and so can make a different choice.

304. MAS your story is a true testament to healing and is a great offering to those who have been in and who are in your previous situation. Your blog offers a consideration of another way and is a beautiful sharing.

305. Your courage in sharing your experiences is both deeply touching and inspirational. You have shown that there is another way and light at the end of a dark tunnel.

306. I just wondered how many children that 9.9% represented. Here are the figures. More than one a day.

     Children 5-14 37 boys 33 girls 90 total
     Children 15-17 194 boys 110 girls 304 total
     Total number of child deaths by suicide 2013 = 394

     1. Interesting how it really steps up at 15 like it did for me at that time.

     2. I admit I recoiled when I read these statistics and saw them as representing actual children rather than just a pile of numbers. One child a day in Australia alone! It brought to mind children I know and I cannot imagine any one of them killing themselves but it is a possibility. This made it more real and I realised I have a responsibility as an adult to pay attention to what is going on not only in the world around me, but also within me. To not check out or withdraw myself in any way, and to fully build and be, self caring and loving in order to provide a loving reflection for those children in my immediate sphere of influence.

     3. And these 394 children who committed suicide are figures which are statistically recorded. What about those which are not?

     4. Very sobering to feel that each and every one of these numbers represents a devastating choice that will deeply affect all – a whole group of people. The fact that this choice is made by a child is incredibly shocking and an absolute indictment on the way of living the world has come to accept as ‘normal’. The fact that the ‘statistics’ need to start at age 5 – is beyond tragic. I am so grateful for Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. This man and organisation have allowed me to see and feel the truth. I no longer feel powerless when I see this horrific state of affairs because I can feel my own responsibility and I know that in truth we are love and we are coming home.

     5. If nothing else these figures can stop us in our tracks to say life these days is intense and young children are feeling it as something too much to cope with. The point being that disconnected from our true nature we are all simply playing a game of survival…children feel the desolation of this and as adults we have an an enormous and very beautiful responsibility to show them something else. By living in the truth or our interconnectedness, humanity becomes a unified team working respectfully, supportively and with care and attention alongside one another. This is true purpose.

307. This is a wonderfully honest blog and inspirational for all to read, especially for those (which are many) who have lack of self-worth issues and chosen to close down because of the hurts they still hold onto in their bodies. As you have come to understand MAS, being tender and caring towards ourself is the first step to being able to love ourself and stop holding onto those self critique and old hurts which are so debilitating. For when we choose love there is no space for those negative feelings in our bodies and this love that is inside us cannot be contained but is then reflected to all those around us.

308. Those suicide statistics are shocking. I had no idea it was that prevelent. What does this say about how we are living? And as you point out so beautifully, it’s because of the lack of self-love that can drive people to such depair. So simple, yet it can stop someone from considering ending their own life.

309. A truly beautiful and inspiring blog MAS. “what hurt me so much more was becoming trapped in a cycle of self-abuse for which I was actually responsible.” I am also realising that the biggest pain I carry is how hard and loveless I have been with myself. There is no one else really to blame for not choosing to love ourselves, not discounting that the things you experienced are truly horrible. Which makes also the very awesome other side of the coin and that is that we can choose to love ourselves again, like you shared: “Nowadays if I feel hurt by something that has happened in my life, I allow myself time to feel the fragility that is in my body and I nurture myself with tenderness instead of abusing myself.”. Thank you for sharing and bringing awareness to a topic not being spoken about so often.

310. Thank you MAS for sharing your wisdom and love gained from your experience of abuse, a desire to not live and how you became more aware and understanding through self care.

311. It is a shock to read the statistics of suicide rates – the number of people choosing to end their life, that life, their connection to self is such that they no longer want to be here. I am pondering on many questions about our connection to our own innermost and also our connection and openness to others. What I know to be true is that if I am living in a way that supports my love, and connection to who I truly am ‘a Son of God’, then I am supporting, loving and bring connection to the ‘All’. Living simply and growing this way of being will reflect for others that there is another way. These statistics reflect a brutality and harshness in our world that clearly indicates a fostering of separation and lack of valuing of Humanity. Thank you MAS for writing the truth and allowing so many opportunities for discussion and broadening of awareness.

     1. I agree, those stats are super shocking. All the more so because we do not hear about them frequently. Such devastation in people’s lives and it seems to be slipping under the radar. Like many key issues this appears to be one that we do not want to face honestly and, in true human avoidance style, we master the art of sweeping it under the carpet. We know from patterns in our history that this does not work. An ignored wound of this gravity gets worse. A dose of honesty and understanding, as with this article, is tide changing.

     2. CH1956 you are so right when you say that these statistics reflect a ‘brutality and harshness in our world that clearly indicates a fostering of separation and lack of valuing of Humanity’. There are so many things in our world that reflect how far from the truth we have wondered and it is a pain that I feel in my heart.

312. Thank you MAS for such an honest sharing, I agree that once we choose self- responsibility for where we are at, what hurts the most is not the actual traumas we have experience from others but the vicious cycles of self-abuse and of attacking our bodies that we have chosen in order to not feel the hurts in the first place.

313. MAS thank you for a beautiful understanding of the absolute importance of tenderly caring and loving our selves deeply. You are a wonderful leading light on re-connecting to the preciousness of who we truly are inside by lovingly letting go of the hurts that can pull us way off course.

314. It is outstanding how easily we identify with our hurts and once there it is difficult to see past them until that time that we choose to embrace a deeper level of care and self love for our bodies where we can let go of all the baggage and make room for our true selves.

     1. The key Francisco was love, true love, in another who talked to me like I was from the same, not less, not anything else, but that love. From here there were others that I saw who oozed love from every particle. Super super powerful. In the dark space you keep choosing the same, but those that truly live love shine like the brightest light I have ever seen.

        1. To feel you now, MAS, through how you express, you too are such a bright shining star. Thank you for choosing to return to you, to that fountain of love, that’s always been there. To share how you have from your lived experience is illuminating another way for everyone who is still struggling in the darkness. The opportunity for our lives to be different is there for all, your sharing is living proof that it comes back to our choice to change and to be discerning about who we seek help from.

     2. Exactly Francisco, turfing out the baggage definitely lightens our load opening up more space to reconnect with ourselves and feel the beauty that is within.

     3. And once we have felt that love from another we have a forever invitation to choose it for ourselves. Our bodies know that lived quality and it only takes one moment of reflection from another to re-ignite the flame to fire.

315. It is confronting to read the statistics on suicide, especially with young children. This jumps out somehow as it seems your childhood at least should be a time of joy and delight. Yet many are choosing to leave this life. The way you describe coming to appreciate and love yourself as if aged 3 is very precious MAS. It feels like there is a direct link between this quality and care and the high incidences of child suicide. To adore and cherish yourself and all of life, is so natural, it makes complete sense that we would deeply miss it.

316. Thank you MAS for sharing your story and the choices you made to re-connect back to you and back to life again. There is no coincidence that you came across the love and understanding offered by the psychologist. It made me realise that no matter how dark and lonely it can sometimes get, we can always make the choice to return to the love we are – and the support will always be there.

     1. Beautifully said Marcia. The choice is always there, along with the support needed.

     2. It is amazing how powerful that simple phrase, when said in love and not from the sterile “it’s part of my job to help you”, can be by telling someone they are not broken. It can be the light that is needed and that shines into that dark place that allows the inner spark to re-ignite.

     3. There is actually so much support around us all the time, but we can become so focused in our lives that we are just unaware of it’s presence. As soon as we choose to return to our loving selves, it’s as though the lights go on and what has always been there, can now been seen.

317. A wonderfully honest sharing MAS – thank you. I too went through a stage in my life of feeling that that I was too broken to be fixed, but at the same time there was always an underlying feeling somewhere deep inside, a knowing that it was possible. It was when Serge Benhayon suggested that we cared for ourselves as we would a very young child that my concept of what self care truly is was turned upside down, and in that moment I made a choice and a commitment to deepen the level of care for myself. From this choice my whole world began to change in so many amazing ways and continues to do so. I have found that any change is about making a commitment to me and to be consistent with that commitment.

318. I remember an esoteric practitioner shared how we pay no attention to our bodies, its like we invite a guest over for dinner and just ignore them, she suggested when showering to really pay attention to how my touch felt and being present. It completely changed my life! It was amazing, I had a profound understanding that time is relative, in that it completely expanded so there was more space and time when I showered like this, minutes felt like hours! Incredible what happens when we treat ourselves lovingly.

319. Just one more as I just feel this is so important! Your comment about the counselling and support you received “that allowed me to take the very small but necessary steps to re-enter the world.” I am struck by the fact that the support that was the turning point for you was not re-living any of the things that happened to you, although being able to express it was important, but learning to love and nurture yourself so that the thoughts that came from the body were ones that encouraged that self care rather than self harm. I wonder if that was more known in psychology and counselling circles it would be the game changer. I also wonder if the reason it is not often part of the treatment plan is that the therapists and practitioners themselves have not considered or experienced it, therefore they cannot know, from their bodies, the power of it.

     1. This is a great point to raise Lucy. In my sessions I rarely talked about these feelings or even about my childhood experiences. I really only talked about what was going on in the moment. So the healing came from dealing with the now, letting people in, becoming gentle and loving to myself (to whatever extent that was going to be at the time).

     2. This is gold Lucy. Our bodies hold the key, we are so used to discounting the loving communication that are bodies are offering us, maybe because we have already discounted ourselves. As MAS experienced, our healing comes from deep within when we choose to reconnect and accept and truly appreciate who we are. That is something that can’t be imparted unless it’s from a body that knows this truth for themselves.

320. How long you can be in therapy and nothing really changes- this is a quite interesting point and experience you are sharing here. What if normal therapy is only a good management adviser for your hurts and patterns instead of truly offering truth. Amazing what change can occure if there is someone living truth and reflecting that to you in a therapy session.

321. I too have seen some awful statistics on the commonality of suicide, and yet it often remains a hush hush affair, with no one discussing what is going on and why so many people are losing their lives.

322. It is such an eye opening proposition to consider ourselves as a young child and treat ourselves with the same preciousness, tenderness and care.

323. ‘And there it was, the feeling of LOVE inside my body’. It is truly a gorgeous feeling when this feeling bursts onto the scene, for no apparent reason, like just going for a walk at lunchtime. This is the magic of self-care and self love.

324. As a teenager growing up I spent a period of time wondering who out of my friends and similar age would survive the year and our teenage years … This not only had a devastating impact on all the families but also the town being a small country town. I have never really thought about those years again until now and it pains me to hear not only has it risen but at an alarming rate

325. We are worth it. Every cell.

     1. If we allowed ourselves to fathom how precious we are and the love that we come from, we would change our world and then the world around us. It takes just one person to light the spark. Through blogs like this people get to know that the answers lie within each of us. And that equally there is support available. We don’t need to resort to ending our lives despite at times it may seem the only option. We can get help to deal with our hurts and the parts of life that feel too challenging and overwhelming.

326. This is a very honest blog. Thank you for sharing your experiences. I am sure many more people feel these tendencies than they are prepared to admit. Hearing these horrifying statistics about suicide is a real kick up the butt for people who know and are able to share a joyful and loving way of being that is there for all of us to connect to, if we choose to.

327. Your story touches me so deeply MAS and as I read it I feel an incredible gratitude to the immense love Serge Behnayon has ignited in this world and the dedication of the esoteric practitioners whose commitment to the Way of the Livingness and dedication to Love supports so many people to truly heal.

328. What I always find truly amazing is it doesn’t matter how much trauma, hurt and sadness someone comes with when they arrive at the beginning of learning the teachings of the Ancient Wisdom presented by Serge Benhayon, once connected to there is this incredible transformation of healing and self care. It is beautiful to hear that after a long time of feeling haunted by feelings of suicide and a life of abuse that you got to experience love in your body and joy in your life.

329. What you have demonstrated here, MAS, is phenomenal. To turn your life around as you have is usually greeted with skepticism and a wary eye in case you relapse into the same behaviour, but the way you have expressed yourself is with a clarity that says that things are very different for you, and that is to be celebrated.

330. Simply profound. All teenagers should read this blog – withdrawal from life is not the answer.

     1. Yes Adam, and adults could read this too.
        I’ve never been suicidal but have withdrawn from life in other ways through distancing myself from people that love me, through alcohol, dabbling with drugs, seeking intimacy with men, indulging in food, hiding my body, hiding from the world, not expressing, overspending… the list goes on. If we look at suicide as on one end of a spectrum of withdrawal from life and giving up on ourselves then we could say that many of us are withdrawing or have withdrawn from life before.

331. Extraordinary sharing MAS, thank you. Self care truly is the way to live

332. MAS there is a beautiful depth of honesty in what you express, to have felt as you did and to have reclaimed the tender loving person you are is amazing to feel and read. The statistics you shared on suicide are shocking, but sadly confirmed by the number of people I personally have known who have made this decision. Thank you for sharing your story, I feel it is a powerful piece of writing that has the capacity to reflect to those in a similar space to know that there is always a choice and we can all return to the love that we so naturally are.

333. With such an extraordinary transformation there cannot be any doubt that truly caring and loving yourself was the missing key to you healing yourself. It is gorgeous that you were inspired by your amazing support system at Universal Medicine to nurture yourself like you have, so that you can now experience and appreciate the beauty in your life and all around you, and most importantly within you.

334. What a beautiful moment in your article MAS, when the light came on, full beam ! “One lunch break at work I decided to go for a walk and there it was – the feeling of LOVE inside my body. This memorable experience came as a wonderful surprise, for the emotional heaviness that had been slowly dissipating over the previous few years had gone, leaving me to feel the loveliness of my true self.” Simply gorgeous the way you literally self-loved and self-nurtured out, the love you are.

335. This is a very inspiring blog and I appreciate the opening of the discussion that is obviously much needed about suicide as it is so prevalent in our society.

336. MAS I love these words ‘I knew at this point I was back in the world’ – these words are gold. It must be so hard for people with suicidal thoughts seeking support wanting to change their lives to sit with different psychologists or counsellors and still not feel heard or understood.

337. ‘By allowing this fragility I give myself the chance to return more easily to an inner strength and sense of wellbeing, enabling me to come back to myself more easily.’ …… I love what you share here, MAS, about allowing yourself to feel the fragility in your body when you are hurt. I find it difficult not to harden and withdraw from situations when I am hurt, this is a beautiful reminder for me to stop and allow myself to surrender to my body and allow myself to feel my own fragility. Thank you.

338. The suicide statistics you share are horrific. I was aware of them, but it pains me to read them again. Having born 3 gorgeous children, I can’t (choose not to) imagine what it would be like to lose a child to suicide. Losing a child under any circumstance would be heart breaking, but to know that they actively chose not to be here would be harrowing. It reinforces to me how important it is to separate behaviour from the individual and to hold your children in love always, to allow them to feel safe, and, to deal with whatever behaviour they are displaying separately. Knowing that the behaviour isn’t who they are, it’s just what they are choosing at that moment, which can be immensely challenging, equally it may be part of our learning to learn how to deal with it more effectively.

339. This is an incredibly inspirational story. Thank you for sharing MAS. It’s deeply shocking to read the statistics but even when we are presented with a statistic it is easy to just see numbers and not to feel it as people. I had a look at the references you give and there were 94 children between the ages of 5 and 17 who had taken their own lives in 2013. In the UK there are usually about 30 children in each class at school so we are looking at 3 whole classrooms of children who did not believe life was worth continuing to live. This should be a massive wake up call to us all for are we all not responsible for this? The way we have collectively lived has brought us to this place and it is only making changes to the way that we live which will change it. No need to wait for our neighbour to change first though. As MAS has shown, if we make the changes for ourselves the inspiration we offer others is powerful beyond measure.

340. This is a deeply inspiring blog MAS and I was deeply touched reading it. How awesome you describe the moment you felt Love in your body, that is so gorgeous and has put you on a very different path to the one you were on. “Nowadays if I feel hurt by something that has happened in my life, I allow myself time to feel the fragility that is in my body and I nurture myself with tenderness instead of abusing myself.” I love hearing about turnarounds such as this amazing sharing of yours.

341. I was very humbled to read your article, MAS. It takes a lot of courage and love for others to share your journey so openly and honestly. Where you are today is testament to your commitment to YOU, choosing to reconnect to the gorgeousness that you are and always have been. What you share offers such an inspiration to so many who may also be struggling with life.

342. This exposes your vulnerability on this journey thank you, for your honesty MAS. It shows such understanding for an ever growing disturbing problem for young and older people alike. Returning to self care and nurturing is so powerful because the pattern is to want to beat ourselves up- the total opposite of self care. I love the way the psychologist suggested you return to the 3 year old you to feel your tenderness.

343. I can relate very much to your story/journey. I had given up on myself too in my early teens. I told myself I needed to endure a few years of highschool and that then my life would end. It just needed to end. I felt lost, no clue what life was about and what I got reflected did not feel right. Nobody hurt me in a physical way. Perhaps the deepest hurt was that I didn’t feel truly met and that as a reaction on that I closed myself down from the outside world…..and from myself. Then life indeed was no joyfull and loving place to be and the urge to step out of life years later was just a cry out of not being able to cope with my prison, a cry for help. My biggest turn around was a psychologist who referred to reincarnation. Something deeply resonated with me. I am responsible for my life and my choices. I chose to live but not whole heartedly, but I did say yes. After many years of hiding myself within daily life it was meeting Serge Benhayon and the teachings of Universal Medicine that resonated with me in such a way that my heart popped open. Since then I went from survival to living. Caring for and loving myself has been key in all this.

     1. Thank you for sharing Caroline. That is an amazing self-reflection about your deepest hurt being that you didn’t feel truly met and closed yourself off from others and yourself. Most of us if not all have shut ourselves off to accepting our love and the love that is being expressed to us by others. If it is true that we are responsible for our life and our choices, then could we also say it is our responsibility to love ourselves and in turn express this love to others and allow others to love us? This puts self-love in a different light, something pertinent to our foundation rather than an optional extra.

344. I loved reading about the enormous healing that you have obviously undergone MAS. I especially loved reading about the moment you actually felt love for yourself in your body. I agree, it is an undeniable experience and once experienced you know when it is not there and it is easier to track what has occurred for you to not feel that love that is always there if we choose to re-connect to it.

345. Thankyou for your sharing MAS. Even when I was introduced to self care I was ‘doing’ it, but not being with it. As you say, ‘True self-care involved embracing a deeply loving and nurturing quality in all my movements and activities throughout the day. It meant being aware of my body, ensuring I was gentle …….’ An inspiring blog.

346. MAS thank you for speaking so openly about such an important topic. The statistics you present are shocking, much the same as here in England. What I have found surprising is that they are not hard to find, yet they are not presented to the public en masse. Why not? I am sure if this was front page news and people really took the time to read and feel the seriousness of these statistics then we might stop, even for a moment. That there are so many people struggling in life surely shows we have come a long way from truly living.

347. Nurturing yourself instead of abusing yourself, this is so powerful. So often the abuse that has taken place keeps on going because we bash and blame ourselves for many years after. It so beautiful to read and feel how you have made the choice to nurture and self-care and you choose love over the harm of the abuse.

348. To embrace the twists and turns of life, that is a huge thing for us all and one that is often done best with the support of others. Your choice to get support seemed crucial MAS and it was great that you found a practitioner who was able to help you throughout the difficult feelings. I am only slowly realising how huge an issue suicide is, it just doesn’t get reported and perhaps if it did it would be easier for those suffering to see they are not alone.

349. This article made me more aware about suicide, thank you MAS for sharing here so openly with us. It makes so much sense that with true self-care we can embrace a deeply loving and nurturing quality in all our movements and activities throughout the day, so we are with us in a loving caring quality, by choice, what is the opposite to suicide thoughts. This is the real program and the true support that one can choose.

350. Articles like this are so needed. I was speaking just yesterday with someone at work. He had never considered that any story about someone turning their life around could be true and that someone who feels hopeless inside would always be helpless. This is a great example of how by taking responsibility for our own health and well-being (as offered to you by first the psychologist and then Universal Medicine) we can turn our life around and uncover the love and tenderness we once craved.

351. Instead of or at least in addition to learning coping strategies to somehow get a handle over one´s issues healing is introduced by applying exactly the aspects and qualities that are the original cause of the issue, hurt and resulting harmful behaviour. MAS, you give perfect example of this by introducing self-care and self-love to supersede the abusive behaviour and loveless experiences you made and that formed then self-abusive strategies to avoid feeling the underlying pain, hence you broke the repetitive cycle your were caught in. Taking responsibility is major key in healing and that may mean to give yourself what you have missed receiving from others and feel being a victim of or have given up on ever experiencing in your life.

352. Thank you MAS for opening the discussion on suicide, very much needed as your statistics demonstrate. Not wanting to be in the world because of the pain we are in is an appalling example of the true quality of care and concern that prevails in our society. How incredible to meet a professional psychologist who recognised and honoured you for the precious being you are rather than focusing on all the emotions you are not. Your journey is a true testament to the power of self-nurture and true self-care. Your revelation that “what hurt me so much more was becoming trapped in a cycle of self-abuse for which I was actually responsible” is probably in my opinion the biggest and most important revelation we can have. It is an extraordinarily important part of our healing, as it returns to us our true power of restoration and supports us to see that our biggest enemy is our own self-loathing and that our biggest support is true self-care. I too have much to thank Serge Benhayon for in enabling me to understand and feel the true source of my depression and melancholy and gradually work my way out of it through my nurturing myself. The precious pearls of wisdom that Serge offers us arises from a deeply embodied knowing that is applied to every moment of his life, delivering real resolutions to immensely serious problems.

353. Wow MAS, thank you for sharing… Although I have never known anyone to commit suicide, I know A LOT of people in school my age who self harm, and a large number that have attempted suicide and ended up in a very bad state or even hospital. It is crazy the amount of people trying to escape life this way – that they feel the world is so grey the only way to get through is to get out. For me this brings a huge level of responsibility to how I am with them (as some of them are my friends), because I have the opportunity to show them that there is another way – one of colour and love, as many people have never really felt this.

354. It is always deeply touching to see a person heal their hurts and come out of an emotional prison that seems to be almost insurmountable. Not many people truly take the necessary steps to heal themselves, and there are neither many methods nor therapists that truly assist in that process to such a profound degree as you describe here. In my personal healing process as well as in supporting others in my role as a practitioner of the Universal Medicine Therapies I experience ‘miracles’, i.e. healing on levels that are rarely heard of, simply because UM Therapies encourages and empowers the client to heal themselves in the most profound and simplest ways and learning to truly take care of oneself is a crucial part of such healing. Therefore it is most important to get to know oneself and to understand what self-care truly is. This article gives an easy to grasp introduction to the greater scope of self-care: http://www.unimedliving.com/self-care/what-is-self-care/what-s-all-the-fuss-about-self-care.html

355. I had to go back and re-read the suicide statistics. They truly are shocking and saddening. Thanks for bringing them to our attention MAS and for demonstrating how with a commitment to make new choices, life can change drastically for the better.

356. Thank you for sharing your story MAS. A great reminder that the magical ingredient that makes so much difference is the care we take in every moment to be gentle with ourselves and others, in our movements and in our thoughts. I too am discovering what a massive difference this makes to how I feel about myself, the way I respond to other people and the way I feel about life.

357. MAS thank you for your sharing which shows what is possible with a commitment to true self-care, self-love and with that the love that blossoms. The feeling of worthlessness, not wanting to live, depression, deep emptiness were all common place for me before meeting Serge Benhayon and the many changes that I made thereafter. With so many transformations taking place, and your great example, how can anyone but see the fact that what Universal Medicine present is the answer to every single personal struggle and world issue?

358. Thank you MAS for sharing your story. It is a glorious testament to a combination of your commitment and input and that of Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and the Esoteric Healing Modalities.

359. Thank you MAS for sharing your experiences and how you have come about to making the changes in your life. It is easy to understand how years of self bashing thoughts can lead to lack of self worth and self abuse – this was my experience from a young teenager and it took coming to Universal Medicine presentations for me to look at things differently and realise I am none of the things I have been telling myself for 30+ years.

360. This is an amazing unfoldment MAS. Thank you for sharing it with us. What stood out for me when I read it was, “I had given up on myself, believing I was unworthy of love, and made myself insignificant for over 20 years. So much time was spent obsessing and hanging on to my hurts, instead of nurturing and caring for myself deeply, and allowing myself the chance to just let go and shine.” because it reminds me of how I had given up on life, believing that the world was a hopeless place to live and how I confirmed this to be true over and over again with how I was living. It was when I began to self-care also that I started to confirm something different. By self-caring I began to confirm Me and my place in the world and I was able to see that there were good people in the world and it was worth the effort to be a part of it. Self-care is such a powerful tool to remind us that we are worth it and that we do have value by simply spending time on ourselves in a loving way. What Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon teach is life changing and such a support to everyone equally no matter where we are in life and how we are feeling. True Love at it’s finest.

361. MAS this is an amazing turnaround you’ve described and deeply inspiring thank you. It is so common to think that ‘dealing with our stuff’ requires endless counselling and re-visiting of old traumas, when what you show is something quite different. Learning to take responsibility for where we end up is such a big thing, and in my experience is the turning point where we can begin to truly heal.

     1. Jenny, what I can add to your comment is that the depression starts when we start to shut people out … and we ignite once again when we let people back in.

        1. That’s fascinating… and makes sense. But also makes me realise that if that’s the case, then there’s is a more subtle form of depression that is quite commonplace. It’s just the version we are very clever at hiding or distracting from, numbing out etc. So simple really but so fundamental to restoring who we are.

        2. I can certainly relate to this MAS. Letting ourselves back in and rebuilding a loving caring relationship with ourselves is the match required to reignite. It does take time but so worth it.

362. MAS, when I read your very moving blog two things stayed with me. How, when at your lowest, you were given a life line, and you took it. Also the memorable moment you felt love in your body for the first time. ‘I knew at this point I was back in the world, feeling love for myself, love for others, feeling so much lighter and living in a way that was honouring of my needs.’ The power of consistent self care can never be underestimated and your story is proof of this.

363. The suicide stats are absolutely shocking. What kind of world do we live in where it seems that the most common form of demise is the choice that we can no longer go on (and what about the unreported number of people that attempt suicide but fail?). It begs the question surely for our society of what on earth are we doing…
     Like MAS I’ve been inspired over the years by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, and consider this to be the answer as what is presented does not require a phd, it does not require lots of money, and it does not require you to look a certain way. Its just reconnecting to what is simply each and every one of our birthright.. the love within.
     Its priceless, and a model that I hope everyone will get the opportunity to share, as the current one is having a devastating impact on people in the world.

364. Wow MAS, it is incredible to read how you came back from the point of near suicide to now having joy in your life and feeling love for yourself, your story is amazing and should be published far and wide. Universal Medicine and Universal Medicine practitioners are truly amazing, what they offer and present works and you are a great example of this.

365. It is great how, like love, there is no end to the depth that can be reached – the same applies to self care. For if we aren’t continually developing our level of self care we are no longer self caring.

366. Thank you for sharing your incredible story and your commitment to truly care for yourself and how this is constantly evolving. It is truly inspiring to read the changes you have made and the responsibility you have taken for the years of self-abuse. The suicide statistics are truly shocking but more understandable when you relate that even though you could feel the care of the other counsellors you saw, nothing got to the core of your deep self loathing.
     You have chosen to turn this around but the fact you have had ongoing support has been key and currently most of the support available is very short-term and as you so clearly show does not address the core issue. Developing trust in others that they can support you on your journey is crucial as you learn to trust yourself in your reconnection. Your story demonstrates true self empowerment and is the way forward for humanity and would support so many to know that there is an alternative to the dark cloud of depression and suicidal thoughts.

367. The facts about suïcide are shocking, ‘the leading cause of death of Australian children between 5 and 17’ to name one. Why would so many young children choose suicide and die? There is definitely something truly wrong in this world that we donot want to admit and see, something has to change about how we value ourselves and each other, that there is a choice and we can choose to love and care for ourselves. The steps you have taken MAS show that there is a way out. I love the following lines ‘Nowadays if I feel hurt by something that has happened in my life, I allow myself time to feel the fragility that is in my body and I nurture myself with tenderness instead of abusing myself.
     By allowing this fragility I give myself the chance to return more easily to an inner strength and sense of wellbeing, enabling me to come back to myself more easily.

     1. I agree Annelies the statistics are shocking. Just this week that I know of in the town that I live, there has been one suicide and one attempt that closed a major highway for 5 hours. What was incredible was how many people were up in arms about being stopped in traffic for that long. I wondered if anyone who was affected by this or even heard about it, considered how they are in their life, how they feel about themselves or did it remind them to check in with someone.

368. So beautifully expressed in detail MAS, I was particularly drawn to this point and can see how it affects us all..”So much time was spent obsessing and hanging on to my hurts, instead of nurturing and caring for myself deeply, and allowing myself the chance to just let go and shine.”

     1. Yes Irina, this is a powerful statement, we can so many of us waste time wallowing in what is wrong as i have done many times when in fact if we appreciate all that we have, and are able to see the qualities we hold we would never want to stay in that moribund state. Broadcasting the problem of suicide is important as it is a great first step to showing that those suffering are not alone and that there is help available to turn around those feelings and for our lives to flourish.

369. Our light can never go out, but we can turn our back on it and become so engulfed by the shadow we create when we ‘walk away’ from this light that, although it still burns, our awareness of it dwindles. If we are to arise from this ‘shadow’, we must learn to let love be our guiding light and embody this in full so that we are able to dissolve the darkness in which we otherwise walk.

     1. Indeed Liane,”If we are to arise from this ‘shadow’, we must learn to let love be our guiding light and embody this in full so that we are able to dissolve the darkness in which we otherwise walk.” This is so profound and so so beautifully true. In too sentences you explained abuse in full and what is needed to step out into the light again. I am all for ‘dissolving the darkness’ in which I otherwise walk.

370. Thank you MAS for sharing so openly and honestly your path back to love. Your story helps us all to see that it is never too late to rekindle the flame that forever burns deep within our hearts. We are held in more love than we could ever imagine and this love is eternal within us also. It takes enormous courage to reach out for help when we cannot feel this love anymore, but with support we can open the door and walk the steps back to the love that we are. No one can do this for us, as much as they might want to, for it is a door that we chose to close long ago and thus, it is us who choose to open it once more. Thankyou again MAS, for opening that door – this blog is a blessing for all who read your words.

     1. “We are held in more love than we could ever imagine and this love is eternal within us also” It is true that this blog is a blessing for all who read it and it is also true that your comments are a healing for all who read them.

371. The stats are shocking alright, what the hell is going on? I find the whole thing very disturbing especially when the age of suicide start at 5. I wonder what the world statistics are. This is such an important article Mas and will help many people in the same situation as you were if they get a chance to read it.

372. Children committing suicide is a tragedy and this blog shows how easy it is to get caught in a downward spiral of despair and lack of self-worth and giving up on life. Many people may try to ‘help’ but it is not until we find people who will truly meet us and inspire us to take gentle steps with self-love to rediscover the true love that is shining within us when we let go of the hurts that we burden ourselves with. Universal Medicine and The Way of the Livingness offers a way to heal our hurts and be who we truly are.

373. I have known a few people around me who chose to end their own life, for different reasons. Each time it impacted so many people around them. And if we look at the figures it is obvious there are so many people around the world who have been affected by a suicide of someone they know. MAS, your story is absolutely inspiring that true self-care and self-love can take us far enough to not only not have suicidal thoughts, but to turn our life around completely.

374. How powerful this is MAS, to move in a way which embraces oneself with love in everything I do. Thank you for your reminder.

375. I recall reading Winston Churchill’s description of depression as a black dog, an unwanted one that follows close at your heels wherever you go. This description always resonated with me because, like you, I struggled with depression from young. There was no extreme episode of suffering that I could pin it to. It entered my life like a silent intruder through an opened back door, and dominated my life from that point.
     Universal Medicine made more difference to my life and my state of being than any other thing I ever pursued. I understood that the intruder could be evicted, and that I had the power to not only shut the back door, but to seal it as well. I thank God for Serge Benhayon and the teachings of The Ageless Wisdom every day.

     1. Hear hear Rachel, the difference for me with Universal Medicine’s support was realising that ‘intruder’ was not me and becoming aware of when and why I would let it in. MAS story highlights how we all have the potential to truly work through and heal anything in our lives.

376. Thank you MAS for your honest sharing. It is at an alarming rate that suicide is existing in our societies. and knowing that this is just the tip of the iceberg, as this is the culmination of many more lives lived in depression and the desire of not wanting to live. This is one of the signals that we as a society are not doing so well, as life should be something to embrace and enjoyed as we are doing now thanks to the immense and valued support from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

377. Thank you MAS, for your honesty in what has changed these suicidial thoughts in you. I can definitely say I didn’t indulge in “alcohol, drugs” but most definitely “inner-abuse with destructive self-talk about my appearance, intelligence and value in the world.” This has been an ingrained pattern for 5/6 years, and is something ‘comfortable, familiar and seemingly justified’, yet is a deep poison (which we may often not choose to see) just like alcohol and drugs.

378. Thank you so much, MAS, for having the courage to share your experience here with abuse and suicidal thoughts. It can be so easy to give up on yourself and on life, and not so easy to pull your self back up -even with the amazing support of professionals and friends it is still down to you to make different choices. It is a testament to your inner strength, and allowing the vulnerability within that, that you are where you are today -back home to you. Totally and stunningly amazing -as are you.

379. MAS a deep thanks to you for sharing do openly. You are an inspiration for many especially after such horrific experiences earlier on in your life. I am shocked that the suicide rates. Many would agree that one suicide is one too many- these stats are something that should be drawing the immediate attention of all of society – as we all have a part to play.
     I felt complete joy for you when you shared about the day you felt love in your body – well done for your tender loving commitment to yourself and the rest if humanity.

380. Thank you for sharing. It’s very shocking to have insight into what it is like to live in the dark space that you have described. I really enjoyed your presentation and testimony to the love that is inside us all and the wonderful work of Universal Medicine.

381. I love the example of imagining ourselves as 3 year olds and using this as a measure of how we can treat ourselves… Words that come to mind for me here are preciousness, understanding, playfulness, lightness, joy, trust and openness… (to name but a few!). This is a great reminder for me today to treat myself the same way!

382. “I had given up on myself, believing I was unworthy of love, and made myself insignificant for over 20 years. So much time was spent obsessing and hanging on to my hurts, instead of nurturing and caring for myself deeply, and allowing myself the chance to just let go and shine” This is a great point to bring up MAS as it says it all. Why we add to our own hurts instead of loving and holding ourselves even more preciously has always baffled me and yet it is the perfect antidote to the misery we have dropped ourselves into.

383. The path of self acceptance is a long and ever deepening one.. the more we accept the quality we are and bring to this world through the divine purpose that we hold, the more we give ourselves the permission to accept that this is all there is to us in truth.

384. The suicide statistics that you have presented are very alarming however you have illustrated through self love and care, deep wounds of abuse can be healed. Thank you for such an honest and open blog.

385. Remarkable story MAS, your line here: “It took about three years for me to feel love for myself ” – yes it seems that so many of us, whatever our circumstances, abused or successful in life do find it difficult to truly love or deeply care for ourselves. I know that in the past (pre Universal Medicine) i’d have spoken about the fact that i do love myself, and would have found it quite odd to think or say otherwise i.e. that I didn’t. But actually in truth, that ‘love’ was lip-service love, which I feel so many of us are guilty of. Real love is the love felt within the body and expressing its tender quality…having complete respect for, and awareness of the body and what we put it through. It is the spaciousness we feel inside from having dealt with affliction or hurt. Love is self-acceptance.

386. Thank you for sharing your journey. It is crazy that our default position is so often to self abuse ourselves rather than nurture and care for ourselves when we feel hurt. I still fall for the self abuse from time to time but it feels so horrible that I soon come to my sense. I love what you wrote here, it reminded me the importance of self care particularly when we are feeling hurt. ‘Nowadays if I feel hurt by something that has happened in my life, I allow myself time to feel the fragility that is in my body and I nurture myself with tenderness instead of abusing myself.’

     1. Fiona what I find amazing is that there is no fixed end point to self care. Once you unfold through one layer, its then time to take things deeper again and then again. The self care simply keeps evolving with you.

     2. So true Fionacochran01…once we have shut down our hearts and closed off the love that is so readily available, then there can only be what is not love in our lives.

     3. It is crazy Fiona and so simple the remedy to changing that engrained habit of choosing self abuse you can if willing make other choices and these then build so that you end up letting go of the more negative habits/patterns. But always a choice!

     4. Thank you for high lighting this Fiona. I turn to abuse when feel hurts also, rather then self nurturing and care. This is a fantastic point that you have shared, it’s crazy how we turn to that rather then allow ourselves to feel it and care for ourselves- like we would do for a young child.

387. Thank you Mas for so openly sharing your story. One can only feel the transformational possibilities for another who may also be struggling with ‘not wanting to be here’ and finding life in general not so loving, who may thus be inspired by your expression.

388. MAS your turnaround is truly remarkable. So many live with the deep scars and hurts of abuse as children, and this has huge effects on their lives down the track, as you have described. It is very disturbing to see the childhood suicide statistics also – how is this escalating so quickly that children feel they have nowhere to go? The love and understanding as felt with your psychologist is key in coming back from this kind of hurt. Feeling supported in a world that is downright crazy so much of the time, to come back to the connection of love within, is a gift like no other. Thank you for this important sharing MAS.

389. ‘Suicide was the leading cause of death of Australian children aged between 5 and 17’ this is such an incredibly shocking statistic to read. Why have we allowed this to be?

     1. It is indeed shocking and beyond my comprehension of what these kids and teens experience in their young lives that is so unbearable that suicide seems to be the only way out of their misery. These questions obviously and urgently need to be asked and no doubt we as parents / adults have to answer for them.

     2. That’s a very poignant question Fiona. Why are we so focused on numeracy and literacy results, sporting achievements and other factors such as alcohol and drugs in our young children, but we don’t seem to be comfortable addressing the leading cause of death. I am going to present these statistics to the Principal at my school and see if we are able to have a discussion around this topic to the students. It will be interesting to see the response. It feels like suicide is still a taboo topic despite how many people it is effecting each year.

        1. Tracey it feels like one of those things that if we talk about it will happen, so lets not talk about it just in case. My feeling is the kids will be bursting to share on this subject as if it’s not happening with them it’s affecting someone they know.

        2. I agree Tracy, I was having a conversation with someone just the other day and the topic of conversation led onto social media and young children. The moment the conversation moved to suicide and young people taking their lives he cut the conversation and went to get a coffee. Suicide cannot be ignored the statistics alone tell us that.

        3. It just goes to show that not all people are open to, or easily able to deal with this type of discussion and all the more reason why the powers that be need to be doing more to bring awareness to this topic, we need a compassionate and open dialogue on this very serious issue. Suicide claims so many more lives than terrorism yet we seem to be pouring millions of dollars into that issue but ignoring the suicide rate. When the government does act, to me, it feels like they are only ticking boxes and they aren’t really tackling the real issue and making true change in the world. A complex topic that needs to be on everyone’s agenda to discuss or we will see the statistics keep rising.

     3. Wow- between 5 and 17 – leading cause of death is suicide. This is crazy. What is going on for this to happen?

390. Thank you MAS for sharing how you’ve turned your life around, practically showing how it is always possible to bring love back into our life. Those suicide statistics are huge and your story is greatly needed to show that there is another way.

     1. Yes Fiona, the statistics are very sad and something significant has to change before they will be truly addressed. MAS has shown there is in fact a true way forward.

     2. No matter how far away you are- you can always come back. Absolutely true- seen it many times…

     3. I was shocked to read the statistics of suicide. Mental health and suicide need to be on the Government’s agenda to look into and offer more areas of support and open discussions around this topic.

        1. I agree Tracey. What’s interesting is that money has gone into mental health, but it doesn’t seem to travel down the line of where it’s needed. Direct patient and practitioner care and support. For example I work in a small rural hospital, with minimal day time mental health services. If someone needs specialist assessment its nearly 100km drive in an ambulance, plus a wait in a locked room in our emergency department for nearly 24 hours while waiting for the ambulance and yet someone with chest pain or other physical condition they will transport sooner. The inequalities are stark.

        2. Wow! That situation would only exacerbate the person who is struggling with their mental health. The system is focusing on certain areas but neglecting others by the sounds of things.

391. I am shocked by the statistics of the suicide rates generally but even more so at the rates it occurs in children and then men over 85. This is really, really serious. We are losing so many people as a result, BUT you have shown us in writing this blog that, it is possible to turn a corner with the right support – as you step forward in life.

     1. Yes me too, I was shocked and surprised that men over 85 years suicide, I was not aware of this facts. This shows to me that so many people don’t want to be alive, and they struggle and resisting life. What a chance for someone, meeting Universal Medicine practitioners, who can offer amazing support with suicide.

392. “The path to love and joy came from the simple act of introducing true self-care and self-love into my life, and what I discovered was how much I really do matter”- yes, Mas we do matter.
     Thank you for your honest sharing about thoughts of suicide, and how you were able to transform this to acceptance and appreciation of self. Very inspiring, and beautiful to read.

     1. It is amazing how the simple acts of self-care and self-love are so powerful and this blog really highlights this — it is possible for us all to return to Love even from the brink of suicide with the right support and dedication.

     2. The transformations that can unfold in one’s life when the choice to self-care and be loving are truly astounding. It goes to show that no matter how wayward we get, if we choose to return to love, we can live a joyful and loving life.

        1. Exactly Tracy, it is never too late. We can always make a different choice – to develop self responsibility and self care – and although the process may be uncomfortable and certainly not provide an instant “quick fix”, the transformation when we commit to this is truly astounding.

        2. What I found was the quick fix didn’t work and often set me up to feel like I had failed at something again and again. What I’ve found is being consistent with my self care and loving choices that the layers of hardness began to drop away.

        3. So true Tracey, the quick fixes only compound the feeling of failure and not being good enough – it’s an ugly setup. To break free from this, consistency in making supportive and nurturing choices really is the key.

        4. That’s right Hannah. The feeling of failure just sets up a pattern of giving up which leads into being more inconsistent with ones approach to being truly nurturing.

        5. Yes this is true Tracy. How we are feeling is not set in stone- we always have a choice to change. The transformations when self care is brought in are truly astounding.

393. Hi MAS and thank you for your story. I was shocked and surprised at the suicide statistics – I didn’t realise it was so high in children. The effect this must have on families must be enormous.

     1. It shocked me too, these statistics of suicide in children that early age. I just realised that checking out moments that I sometimes have during my days is nothing different to checking out on life. Not wanting to be involved or not wanting to be here and numbing with alcohol drugs and coffee… if we are honest, this is where we start with not wanting to be in this life. True self-care is the opposite and conscious presence and committing to life in full, what is our own choice. I love the divine laws that it comes back to the choices we make.

     2. I feel susanG that the families are already fractured and having a death in their family would rock them to their core, as it would any family. How would a 5 year old know how to suicide. The statistics are very disturbing.

394. I was not aware of the statistics on suicide that you have shared. There are many initiatives that provide information to parents, children and young adults on topics such as safe swimming, safe driving, safe sex, alcohol and drugs etc. – the kind of things that put young people’s lives in danger. As a parent I have had many conversations with my children on these topics, but have never really considered discussing suicide, “the leading cause of death of Australian children aged between 5 and 17”.
     Do we raise our children with a strong sense of self-worth, teaching them about self-love and self-care, or do we concern ourselves more with reaching developmental milestones and achieving in school and sports? These statistics and sharing’s like yours should be shouted from the rooftops, they should no longer be ignored.

     1. Perhaps self care should be included in developmental milestones?!

        1. I completely agree, Carmin and Helen: there are many developmental milestones we educators are asked to clock and to measure but self care is not one of them. Like you, I have long felt that it needs to be factored in and the stats shared here lend absolute weight to that call.

     2. This is a really important point you make Carmin. We discuss so many things from numeracy and literacy to safe driving and alcohol etc. But we aren’t addressing suicide. Mental health awareness needs to be a part of the curriculum in schools and discussions need to be started on this topic. It is a difficult topic but ignoring it will not make it go away.

     3. Ignorance is a huge problem as well as it blocks us from even dealing with suicide in our society. It is an attitude that if we sweep it under the mat and ignore it hopefully it will go away. Sadly this isn’t the case as the statistics prove. It is about time we pulled our heads out of the sand and faced what is really going on. I agree Carmin we need to “shout from the rooftops”.

395. Thank you MAS, this is very important, there is much confusion about how to support people who are depressed and what is causing the rise in suicide both completed and attempted when there is more funding being put into programs. The program you went on clearly dealt with something that had been underlying for so many years. This time, the treatment hasn’t been a plaster or a quick fix to help you feel better quickly, but a deep foundation to support you when you have the more stressful times in your life and have the potential to head down that path again. Thank you for sharing.

     1. The difference in the two treatments is so pronounced. Its quite clear that finding a way to ‘live with oneself’ has to be a treatment that can be sustained for life and not just a few months, or while one is that with programme. It highlights the depth, simplicity and profound nature of what is being presented by Universal Medicine that it can provide such a treatment.

     2. So true Lucy. “The program you went on clearly dealt with something that had been underlying for so many years. This time, the treatment hasn’t been a plaster or a quick fix to help you feel better quickly, but a deep foundation to support you when you have the more stressful times in your life…” This is exactly what allows for long-term and lasting change.

     3. I totally agree Lucy, what MAS has shared here about the program she went on clearly shows how much of a steady and strong foundation she has been able to build from it and so it is something that will continue to support in years time rather than a band aid fix that wears off leaving the hurt unhealed.

     4. Absolutely Lucy, MAS speaks of deep healing here and the development of a loving relationship with self that makes for a core foundation that will not be rocked by outer manifestations.

396. I love you MAS and what you have shared. I love you for your incredible courage to feel what there is to be felt and to then embrace once again the tender, beautiful you. You are and will continue to be an inspiration to many. Thank you.

397. Thank you for this honest and revealing inside story MAS. It never ceases to amaze me the difference taking small conscious steps towards self-care brings to the body. It re-sets the intention to re-engage with life and opens the door to self-love.

     1. So true hartanne60. It never ceases to amaze me either!

398. Thank you MAS for a very moving account of your life, how haunting thoughts of wanting to stop living were with you for so long. The figures you have included are quite astonishing – and we know for any amount of figures recorded there are loads more that are not registered. The fact that you made profound changes by opening up to support from those who you knew could offer support and starting to take loving care of yourself is a great reflection that it is possible to turn it round. Your story and what you have shared is very needed in the world.

     1. Yes Golnaz the sharing of this story is very needed in the world. I will refer students (teenagers) I teach to this blog as it will support them to read that someone who had a desire to give up and leave this world, found joy and purpose again in life through the process of self care.

399. Thankyou MAS for sharing your story. Thank goodness you found Universal Medicine and recovered, though your recovery is much more like flourishing. The support you have had is incredible to read about as its led you beyond learning to cope with your past, to actually feeling and living with your own love.

     1. This is a great point you raise here Melinda about flourishing rather than recovering. There is such a ‘survivor’ mentality within certain areas of our society that people can get caught up in their whole lives, and it is capping to them and the rest of us, as instead of freeing themselves of the burden of their experiences they lug them around with them and champion that they are a ‘survivor’. It is so refreshing to read of someone truly healing from quite horrific circumstances and going on to live a life that is vital and joyful.

400. MAS, this is such an amazing blog, shining a light on what is a huge issue in our world, depression and suicide; and to hear how you came out from under your own cloud is very inspiring. What you said about self care is very supportive, for a long time for me self-care was functional and now it’s more, but reading it again today ‘True self-care involved embracing a deeply loving and nurturing quality in all my movements and activities throughout the day’ – I’m reminded that it’s a continual embracing of the quality of how I am with me and others.

401. MAS your loving honesty shared in regards to your own experiences will inspire many. The statistics offered here on suicide floored me and just shows how many people are living with hurts that if left unresolved and not expressed can do much harm.

     1. What surprised me the most about the statistics was the age bracket of 5-17 years. I mean kids as young as 5 are committing suicide! This is serious and concerning. Where are we at as a society when a child as young as 5 thinks there is no other way other than to commit suicide?

402. Thank you for sharing your personal journey from contemplating suicide to returning to a way of being that you’d long left behind, and being able to let go of and heal the trauma and hurt of abuse by others and from yourself.

403. MAS what a journey you have been through and described as “challenging and yet amazing period of my life”. To be able to say that after all you have been through is truly inspiring to know we can heal even the darkest times and claim ourselves in full and halt the abusive cycles, to be able to embrace life in full and experience joy again. Such a true healing.

     1. I agree Merrileepettinato, after all that someone has gone through in their life, even the darkest times to stop this self abusive cycle is amazing inspiring. This should be in papers, real life changes and what support is available of Universal Medicine modalities.

404. Your words have given me a deeper understanding of depression and the causes and thought patterns that operate. You have shown how it is possible to heal yourself with true, practical, simple and loving support and guidance, and Universal Medicine is that true way for many.

405. I was shocked to read those statistics about suicide. Thank you for sharing them, as they give a very clear picture of how so many are giving up on life. Self care and self love – there is a place for these gentle and loving tools to be taught and for self worth to be discussed in every school.

406. This is beautiful MAS and the appreciation you can have for yourself for how far you have comes should know no bounds! Great hurdles have been overcome with self-love and nurturing and the tone of your blog shows this clearly. A line I loved “leaving me to feel the loveliness of my true self” really said it for me – just gorgeous. Thank you for your sharing.

407. MAS your experience shows what is possible when we are met with love and understanding and given the simple and powerful tools of self love to find our way back to the love that we are. Thank you.

408. Thank you for sharing your remarkable and inspiring story MAS. Your claiming of the love you are, that we all are, is powerfully felt, and I feel can help hundreds if not thousands of those in the world who are yet to connect to the fact they are so much more than what they may think themselves to be.

409. What stands out when I re-read your blog MAS is the word ‘commitment’, and your strength and dedication to committing to yourself, this is a reflection for us all, as we easily become comfortable where we are at in our lives, and stop evolving to our full potential.

410. I was deeply touched and inspired by the incredible transformations and changes you have made in your life MAS, and that you have chosen you, chosen love, also your courage and strength to share your story with the world.

411. MAS, the transformation you made in your life is beautiful and inspirational. Thanks for sharing about the importance of caring and nurturing ourselves rather than being hard and abusing ourselves. This is something I am bringing more to me and I find it is supportive. It’s interesting what you shared about what hurt the most was the self-abuse you got trapped in.

412. A truly inspiring blog about choosing to not allow the continuing persecution of self, but to connect to the truth and start nurturing forth the essence of who you truly are. We can choose to keep painful events alive in our being or allow the space for the soul to make itself known and true healing to unfold. You are bringing much Love and Grace to the world, thank you MAS for sharing.

413. Hello MAS and what a great blog. I wasn’t aware of the statistics,
     “Suicide was the leading cause of death of Australian children aged between 5 and 17
     In 2009 death by suicide accounted for 9.9% of children’s deaths, which escalated in 2013 to 19.3%
     Suicide was also the leading killer of Australians aged between 15 and 44
     Men aged 85 and over had the highest death rate by suicide, followed by those aged between 40 and 44”
     These are really disturbing and when you look at how you turned this around for yourself it makes me consider the possibility of what may be if everyone has access to the support you have had. Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon are offering real support for people to make a true change to how things may have been. These ‘changes’ are made for yourself and in that way they are real, no reliance on something, just support to stand firmly on your own two feet. Thank you MAS, a blog to be shared.

414. Reblogged this on florisvanderschot's Blog and commented:
     Dit zou verplichte kost moeten zijn voor iedereen die #suicidale #gedachtes heeft. Niet omdat het ‘moet’, maar omdat er een weg is, weg uit de #misère, de #wanhoop, de #hopeloosheid, het #verdriet, de #leegte, etc. #zelfmoord #zelfmoordpoging #inspiratie

415. The statistics alone show that you speak for many MAS about suicidal thoughts. How can something be born into a world and then be so dedicated and resolved to leave it? You don’t see animals being this way, what a great indicator that there’s something we may be missing in our everyday. Beautiful to read how for you this was returning to the quality that that was you at 3. What if it was this simple, and we just return to the beginning of how we were born to be?

416. This is Truly inspiring. Wow, if I really let in how far you went from yourself first and now have come back to you in full, that is incredible! Almost a must read for anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts. Thank you for sharing MAS.

417. I am very inspired by your story MAS. I can feel that you have completely turned your life around from the depths of despair and ‘not wanting to be here’ to fully embracing life and all it has to offer. The clarity, openness and honesty you share with allows me to feel that I too have the opportunity to embrace life more fully and do the same. Thank you.

418. “So much time was spent obsessing and hanging on to my hurts, instead of nurturing and caring for myself deeply” `and in that line you expose the whole worlds of counselling, psychologists, therapists where there is a focus on going over and deeply understanding the why of something instead of building the loving choices. Many would say they don’t have the choice when they are in a pattern of self destruct but the truth is there is a choice and it takes a conscious will to chose it for yourself and then the loving actions.

     1. And when the self-loving suggestions come from a counsellor who is that way with him or her self, this can be felt by the person and something is triggered within to remind ourselves that this way is naturally who we are. Stunning.

419. Finding your way back MAS from all that you were feeling and wanting to run from is a miracle. It is also a testament to your strength, power and commitment to not giving up and to love.

420. MAS, thank you for writing this article. I feel the incredible strength and importance of acknowledging what is truly going on in the world, and that it is time to seek help in our lives, to not go with the uncertain and make sure we look after ourselves all of the time (something we are not used to). The point that deeply struck me was reading that young children suicidal rates are high and one of the most common reasons of death. This is a deep and sad thing, as this tells us that there is much going on at such young age already that people find it hard to cope, seemingly there is something missing (a ground) to stand on and have to come back to when things get hard. This is real support we are missing. And have not often given ourselves. Thank you for waking me up to the fact that true health business like Universal Medicine are deeply needed and need to be known. Next to that do we need helplines (see above) to help and support people in need.

421. MAS, you have turned your life around and this is to be celebrated…you are no longer a potential statistic of suicide, and as you have shared, these statistics are shocking and are on the rise. Consider that suicide can be registered in children as young as 5! That is crazy and shows that our world is calling out for help – there is a lack of balance and a lack of harmony that needs to be addressed, and with what you share here, MAS offers us much in the beginning of dealing with this mess that we have created – the inspiration is indeed found in the tenderness and delicateness that we can first offer ourselves. Thank you MAS.

422. You shine a brilliant light MAS. One that speaks of the divine love that is within us all. That regardless of what we have gone through in our lives, how ever far we have we think we are from it, our love within is always waiting with it’s warm embrace to be connected to again and again. You have brilliantly shown how the power of consistently choosing to connect to love that we are in essence, dissipates all that is not of this love as there is no longer room for its existence.

423. When I was in my early 20s I knew someone who suicided. They had been hospitalised and then when released committed suicide soon after. It was devastating for everyone left behind and 15 years on still has an impact on many people in the family.
     As a society we are really struggling to deal with this, as you describe, the practitioner may have all the training in the world but if they don’t have a lived expression of love for themselves and all others then there is not the spark and inspiration to encourage true change. There are still valued strategies but it does not deeply ignite and inspire someone to commit back to life if there is not a reflection of another way.

     1. That makes so much sense Kristy. It’s no wonder if someone goes through a rehab program, as an example, that when they re-connect again to their lives that they can easily fall back into old behaviours and ways. We haven’t even scratched the surface yet of what self-care and self-love mean for those in the “helping” professions.

424. Thank you MAS for sharing with raw honesty your story from wanting to give up on life and the true healing that commenced after your sessions with a psychologist and the Ancient Wisdom teachings with Serge Benhayon all highlighting the way home to re-connect with yourself through self care and self nurturing.
     The suicide figures are absolutely shocking – I had no idea so many children were affected.

425. I loved how you shared about being trapped in your own cycle of self abuse that hurt more than any abuse from another. I love the honesty and the fact that you took responsibility of what was happening rather than blaming others or waiting for someone else to fix you. You made choices and you got the consequences. It is not always easy, but what is beautiful is that you show that it can be done.
     I wrote a blog about Self Abusing, Not what you think it is https://truthaboutsergebenhayon.com/2013/10/02/self-abusing-not-what-you-think-it-is/
     because I also came to the same realisation as you, that I was the one causing the most damage to me.

426. Thank you for sharing so openly about suicide. It is a topic that needs to be discussed but there is so much shame with it and fear around saying the wrong thing to someone who is suicidal that it is often brushed under the carpet and not addressed.
     I have close friends who have attempted suicide and I feel that these open discussions are so needed and can be super supportive to show that no one is alone and that there is a way to shift those thought patterns and like you, turn your life around for the better.

427. The power of self-care in no way should be underestimated. This is a very simple but profound tool that the whole world should know about and as you have demonstrated MAS, it can turn your life around.

     1. Yes it almost sounds too simplistic, but there is great power in listening to ones body and learning how to truly care for oneself, it is transformational. MAS’s article is testament to this.

428. Dear MAS yours is a harrowing story. The statistics you provide, especially for children, are frightening. Despite the sombre cloud that accompanied you for so long you came to feel and know that indeed you do matter. As a family we need each other, all of us, without exception, in order to be complete and continue evolving to where we are meant to be. Symbolically life has open its arms to you and you have rejoined the group and enriched us all with your return to love.

429. Thank you for sharing your return to the love you are MAS. Very inspiring how your dedication to yourself led you out of the cycle of self abuse. I was imagining if we were to treat ourselves as we would a 3 year old how simply this exposes how hard we can be on ourselves, and in the way we treat our bodies with the choices we make in life.

430. Those statistics are so alarming. I know suicide is not often talked about in society, but it absolutely should be. The more we keep it quiet, the more we offer people an opportunity to slip through the cracks and not seek help when they need it. Why do we hide such a true fact? I know it can be traumatising, but so much of what goes on in the world is horrific as it is, that this topic deserves equal attention.

431. What an inspirational true story MAS. Thank you very much for sharing somethng to deeply personal.
     ‘So much time was spent obsessing and hanging on to my hurts, instead of nurturing and caring for myself deeply, and allowing myself the chance to just let go and shine.’ This line speaks volumes to me, as I can relate to this cycle very much myself.
     Treating yourself as if you were a 3 year old, is such an awesome tool for everyone. I have forgotton to do this, forgotton to treat myself as precious.
     Thank you again for sharing.

432. Thank you MAS for sharing this very personal but super important account of your life. The way you described the gradual connection you have made back to love you, is stunning. There is a quality to your expression that is exquisite and so real. This sharing needs to go far and wide in support for everyone. I have never been suicidal, however your return to ‘you’, with the support of your psychologist and the commitment to yourself, is a superb reflection for every single one of us. Beautiful.

433. Thank you, MAS, for your insightful sharing on this topic, so common to many of us in our world today. A true miracle I would say from where you have come and where you are now. Especially your realization of being responsible yourself for staying in the cycle of self-abuse is a freeing and very powerful one. You are the captain on your own ship again.

434. ‘Nowadays if I feel hurt by something that has happened in my life, I allow myself time to feel the fragility that is in my body and I nurture myself with tenderness instead of abusing myself.’ This is so beautiful, you are sharing the answers with us on how to eliminate self- abuse, allow ourselves to feel and to nurture ourselves.

     1. I agree Chan, to commit to going within, breaking down the layers of protection, and feeling the fragility is a process of True Love. The fragility that MAS has honoured and supported through tender self-care now shines like a beacon of strength that inspires all who are reclaiming themselves from abuse and lack of self-worth.
        Thank you MAS your sharing is deeply healing and very powerful.

435. MAS tears started to well up in my eyes as I read about you going for a walk and feeling love again. I know that, having given up on life myself. I too had suicidal thoughts that spanned from my teens through to recent years and like you, knowing I’d never act on them, I made do with life and tried to make it the best I could. I was living with a given up energy, looking for the next reward, holiday, thrill, but nothing ever really filled the void and emptiness I felt inside till l came to the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom and started to remember who I am and reconnect to myself. The statistics you share are horrifying, so many of our fellow human beings live this way having forgotten that the magic of life is in each moment and held within. I love what you describe here… Nowadays if I feel hurt by something that has happened in my life, I allow myself time to feel the fragility that is in my body and I nurture myself with tenderness instead of abusing myself. I’m inspired to take a leaf out of your book. Thank you for sharing your story and bringing this conversation to the fore, it is much needed in the world.

436. Thank you for sharing your incredible journey. Your blog is deeply inspiring, showing us that no matter how ‘broken’ we think we are, that these thoughts that keeps us in our misery is not who we are. By learning to love ourselves again through gentleness and self-care is the answer to bringing love and joy back into our lives.

437. Thank you MAS for your sharing. How foundational the changes you made for yourself, from abusing yourself and being critical towards yourself to caring and loving yourself deeply and forever deepening. So many young people don’t know a way out of depressive and suicidal thoughts. The answers for all of them lay in their inner heart, in the connection with the love that they and we all naturally are. Thank you again for your writing on such an important and alarming subject which involves us all.

438. MAS there is so much beauty in what you share, not only is there not an ounce of victimhood or blame, there is a true sense of connection and deep healing. The best thing of all though is that you have come to recognise, and inspire us all with, the fact that no matter how big or deep our trauma the biggest hurt is the loss of connection with the love and beauty in ourselves and consequently the self-loathing and self-abuse that we go into.

439. Mas you have written a blog which tells me it is possible to go from the depths of despair and emptiness to a full and joyful life. Introducing self care into our lives and building and refining that self care allows us to begin to connect with our body, feel the hurt and heal it, finally leading to a joyful way of being. Your experience is an inspiration and I know before I came to Universal Medicine I was constantly feeling sad and life felt super hard. I too have learnt the gentle journey from sadness to caring for me and building my self which then allows me to be joyful in the world.

440. Thank you for this MAS, an amazing testimony for how healing self-responsibility can be.

441. This is such an important blog for everyone to read.
     I was astounded by the steep rise in the number of men, women and children committing suicide over recent years. How can this any longer be brushed under the carpet or go unnoticed by us? Human life is precious so shouldn’t it be front page news so we do stop and notice?
     It seems to me the more ‘connected’ and advanced we get with technology and social media the less connected we are with each other on a one to one, truly connecting and being with someone, basis.

442. MAS, I felt very moved by your sharing but am also in awe of the inner strength you have which has brought you back to you in such loving way. “The path to love and joy came from the simple act of introducing true self-care and self-love into my life, and what I discovered was how much I really do matter.” Yes, you do matter, and what you are bringing is so needed in the world today. Thank you.

443. This is an amazing testimony of how we can reconnect back to our true self and live a joyful life by introducing self-care and self-love into our lives. As you say caring lovingly for ourselves and nurturing our body and Soul goes far beyond daily caring activities. It is a quality we bring to our life that offers us awareness, awareness for who we truly are.
     “Self-care is the beginning of a pathway to developing a connection with yourself, a connection that is always deepening, and provides a foundation for knowing who you are, and what your purpose is in life.” – See more at: http://www.unimedliving.com/self-care/what-is-self-care/what-s-all-the-fuss-about-self-care.html#sthash.X8xO4EuE.dpuf

444. Thanks for sharing this very personal story. It feels amazing that you were able to get to a point of realising that whilst the initial abuse and trauma to you was inflicted by somebody else, the ongoing abuse was self inflicted and healed by simple acts of self-care and self-love.

445. It was introducing true self care into my day that has really turned my life around and I find that my self-care just deepens as I learn to love and adorn myself. Thank-you for sharing MAS, as I am sure this blog and your sharing can support many others.

446. The stats on suicide are nothing short of shocking, what the hell is going on? This is a well needed article on a subject that needs to be more talked about and brought out in the open. I never knew it was such a problem until quite recently. Teaching self-love and care in schools may help instead of bombarding our kids with tests and exams.

447. Your blog highlights how simple love can be to live each day. So simple in fact it is almost common sense, such as the way we brush our teeth, tie our shoe laces, exercise and generally care and honour ourselves. It is however as your experiences show, these simple aspects of life which also set us with a solid foundation that debases a lot of the emotional thoughts, patterns and behaviours we may be experiencing.

448. Suicide is the biggest killer of men under 35. It is a tragic reflection of our society when so many people resort to taking their own lives because they feel that they have no other option, no point in carrying on. When we consider that inside us we have a fountain of love we can all connect to, the situation is made even sadder. When I have felt so low as to consider suicide as an option, I know that it was because I chose to delve deeper into darkness. There is a part of me that has eaten up that self-pity and remorse like it was pudding. It wasn’t until I began to build love for myself that I felt the strength to be in life and take part in it fully.

449. MAS your honesty here is so greatly appreciated. I too have been haunted by the desire to not live, for a long time it has been a default mode when things get too intense and i felt i could not cope, “though monsters” would pop into my head and offer me what would often seem like a desirable way out, an escape route where i would no longer have to deal with my choices. Ultimately i just did not want to grow up, stand up and be seen and take responsibility for my life. Through the consistent love and support of Universal Medicine I have met with this pattern face on, it has not been easy but I feel empowered and now able to say a steadfast No to the suicidal energy that i have chosen in the past.

450. MAS what you share makes for compelling reading. Your story is truly inspiring for all because I am sure that whilst many of us have not lived with suicidal thoughts we can relate to those times where we have found ourselves very low and in despair. What Universal Medicine offers supports so many of us to go from a life lived in self loathing and self abusive behaviours (often unacknowledged) to one founded on true nurturing and self appreciation. The foundation of which changes our perceptions of life irrevocably to one that is imbued with love and for many, joy. Thank you for writing this blog.

451. Thank you MAS for sharing your story and showing that there is another way to live and that we can come out and leave behind the worst of our experiences, returning to see the beauty there is and connecting back to truth and love.

452. Thank you MAS for telling this. “I was just too broken…” Comments like these seem very common, people giving up on healing their hurts because they feel too big. But I think your story is inspiration as you are living proof that permanent change is possible, no matter the history of pain and hurts experienced.

453. Dear MAS, your turnaround (or the turn back to you) is an incredible one. Deeply inspired and moved by the power of you, gentleness and a willingness to let go of what is not you. Very inspire. With love, Sarah

454. What an amazing case study.

455. Isn’t it so simple and beautiful that the small details of being very gentle with ourselves in every move we make can turn around such debilitating illness and bring us back to feel once again the love of who we are. Thank you MAS for sharing your amazing transformation and how self care and self love offered you true medicine.

456. Me again – had to come back to say that those statistics are horrific – and brought me to an absolute stand still. Thank God you met the psychologist you did when you did. It is a real joy to read just what a turn around you have taken, and the moment you describe where you first felt love for yourself again – imagine this is available to all and yet we have these ever worsening awful off the chart suicide stats – very sad state our world is in. You show us the answer to turning the tide on these awful statistics. Time to pay real attention to what is making the hugest of lasting difference in peoples lives. I like you had seen plenty of counsellors etc, but none had been able to support in making any real difference, and yet with Universal Medicine, my life has improved beyond recognition. I’m totally with you MAS, “there are no words to express the depth of my gratitude and appreciation”.

457. I had a desire to not live when I was in my teens and early twenties and tried to suicide a few times albeit not consciously but overdosing on drugs. Each time some one would find me and bring me back to life. In hindsight I can feel it was such a self-centered act to do never caring who I may affect by my negligence and irresponsible ways.

     1. Describes how separated we are from life and others the more we are caught and identified by ourselves, reduced to only see life circling around oneself – individuality might not be the great freedom that it announces itself to be.

458. Wow MAS a truly honest and amazing blog. I could really relate to what you shared. Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine Practioners supported me and helped me understand what self care was about. My life has changed dramatically from when I started going to workshops and having sessions . Thank you MAS for expressing your story.

459. Dear MAS – what you write here is a total golden game changer – so revealing: “Perhaps the biggest hurdle, however, was coming to the understanding that although the actions and abuse from others may have felt cruel and loveless, what hurt me so much more was becoming trapped in a cycle of self-abuse for which I was actually responsible.

     I had given up on myself, believing I was unworthy of love, and made myself insignificant for over 20 years. So much time was spent obsessing and hanging on to my hurts, instead of nurturing and caring for myself deeply, and allowing myself the chance to just let go and shine.”
     So very true and so touching to read, I can totally relate.

460. I agree with you when I started the healing process it was not about the abuse I had been subjected to in my childhood that hurt the most, it was the years of abuse I did to myself and the subsequent hurt this caused my family and friends which was more painful to feel. It was devastating to realise that I had wasted 30 years of my life indulging in drugs and alcohol and low self worth.

     1. That is massive Mary-Louise… there is no doubt that when others abuse this hurts, but that pales into comparison when its gets layered with another 30 years of self abuse to add to it.

461. Mas your commitment to re-connecting with your body, feeling your hurts, letting them go and taking responsibility to love and care for yourself is a testament to you. It takes dedication and will to truly heal from abuse like yours and by doing this, you inspire others that they too can heal.

     1. I agree marylouisemyers. MAS’s story is very inspiring and can be a great support to others who may find themselves in a similar situation.

462. It is extraordinary how we can become trapped in a cycle of self-abuse for which we are actually responsible. Although our individual childhood experiences may be different, with some more abusive than others, we have all experienced a feeling of being unloved and carry that on for ourselves into adulthood with a constant barrage of self abuse and self criticism, refusing to believe that we are love-able, not understanding that true love is within and does not need to come from outside. Introducing tender self care can help us to break this cycle and feel for ourselves the joy that is there to be claimed in full.

     1. Agree Carmel Reid, MAS’s line here made me stop and consider how many times we focus on the hurt, worsening how we feel, devaluing ourselves, instead of focusing on the healing through delicate nurturing of the body: “So much time was spent obsessing and hanging on to my hurts, instead of nurturing and caring for myself deeply, and allowing myself the chance to just let go and shine” .

     2. This never failed to amaze me either Carmel. And then Universal Medicine appeared on the scene and introduce that we can love ourselves in the way we always wanted to be loved by starting with the basics of self care and building on that until we find ourselves loving us in a way we would never of felt was possible. Brilliant and simple!

     3. I like the way you have expressed this Carmel. It really does make sense to me now how self care-can break that cycle of believing we are unlovable.

463. A phenomenally inspiring story – how far you have come is incredible.
     If self-love can (and has) turn a life around so profoundly from suicidal thoughts, deep grief, despair, without hope, worth or purpose to a life of richness, love, simplicity and joy then Humanity needs to hear this – we should all be queuing up to learn more.

     1. Absolutely these streets are paved with gold.

        1. Well said Greg – to be treasured and deeply appreciated each step of the way.

        2. Absolutely each step is felt as a new platform of appreciation of where we have come from and where we are returning to.

     2. Absolutely Deborah, we should queuing up to learn from someone like MAS. The world should hear and read it, all these numbers in the statistics are real people, they all should be able to hear it and the changes that MAS has made coming out of the darkness. Very inspiring life story.

     3. I agree Deborah, what MAS has shared here is so important for us all to hear. Love truly does heal and we all have the power to do so if we make the choice.

     4. Exactly Deborah, humanity does need to hear this for within this beautiful blog is the key to reducing the staggeringly high suicide figures. If one can heal from such pain so can others and Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and it’s Esoteric Practitioners offer the way.

464. This is a truly honest and informative sharing MAS. I have felt some of the feelings that you write about, as I am sure many others have also. This often feels like a deep dark hole with no light at the end of the tunnel. I have learnt over the past 9 years or so to reach out to others { the Psychologist you mention is brilliant) and through the understanding and Love offered and received we can turn our lives around. Being made aware of our need to self nurture and love who we really are on the inside, and the realisation that we are responsible through the choices we make, how our lives unfold. It is hard to accept that we are the ones causing our dilemmas but it is a lesson well learnt and therefor empowers us to make changes in the way we think and live . I love that you mention “I really do matter” something so important for us all to feel. This is an important blog that I am sure many will learn so much from, and as you have, turn their lives around. Thank you MAS for sharing your wisdom.

     1. Yes Roslyn it is so important to reach out for support. I know it can feel like you are all alone in your problems and that no one will understand, but I too have learnt to ask for help when I need it and no longer be a lone ranger. This is another way I can be more self loving towards myself and as MAS expressed, this was the start of how her life began to turn around.

465. Thank you MAS for sharing your story. one element that stands out dramatically is your experience of counselling, in the absence and inclusion of the principles of Universal Medicine….without it you say “I appreciated the love and care they each showed me, I found that there was no true healing as a result of these appointments” …but with these simple principles and working with a practitioner that lives them to the best of their ability, your turn around is amazing.

     1. Yes Joel great point, true healing does not come from the words in a book but from the love we choose to live everyday.

     2. It always comes back to simplicity in life, and coupled with our own essence – what a strong union.

     3. This really highlights the importance of walking your talk and leading by energetic example. Healing and resolving our own issues enables us to truly serve others.

466. Thank you MAS for sharing what changes are possible once we open up to honestly observe ourselves and start to make different choices from there.

467. Thank you MAS for sharing all that you have. It’s tragic that there are increasing numbers of people suiciding, people who have given up on life. Your story is an inspiration of how we can absolutely turn around from this dark abyss by gently loving ourselves as you have said the same way we would as if we were 3 years old again. Holding ourselves so tenderly in our own arms as we drop and feel how held we actually are in our own love.

     1. The power of love says it all and is demonstrated beautifully in MAS’s life.

     2. Yes what has been shared inspires me to support others to let them feel the power of self-love, self-care, and self-nurturing. It is also a great reminder that the changes are unlikely to happen overnight and may take many days, months or years, but that we can support someone to build a foundation to know who they are and the love they come from.

     3. Yes, that which we crave is only one breath away…

     4. Hi Katerina, I could feel every word you say here, ‘Holding ourselves so tenderly in our own arms as we drop and feel how held we actually are in our own love.’ … very powerful to feel this in my body. thank you.

     5. This is beautiful Katerina: “Holding ourselves so tenderly in our own arms as we drop and feel how held we actually are in our own love.” Something to be reminded of daily and practice too.

     6. ‘Holding ourselves so tenderly in our own arms as we drop and feel how held we actually are in our own love.’ I read this a few times and could feel the truth of how we are held in our own love. Thank you Katerina.

     7. The proof of this can be seen in every kids eyes – the joy, the lightness of being is all there from the start. When we reconnect to that, something that we have all experienced and is never lost, then there is a road back to love that any one of us can follow.

468. * Suicide was the leading cause of death of Australian children aged between 5 and 17
     * In 2009 death by suicide accounted for 9.9% of children’s deaths, which escalated in 2013 to 19.3%

     These facts are shocking.. it took me 3 times to read them before I let myself feel what they meant. Why are our children suicidal? Thank you for bringing this to our attention with all your grace MAS.

     1. I know it is a real stopper Abby – well it should be front page news but we seem to want to continue on being stimulated and distracted rather than face the truth of where we are at.

     2. Abby I have heard these statistics before and cannot fathom young children committing suicide. I have actually worked with families who have had young children on 24 hour suicide watch. How does this happen and why are we not pulling out all the stops to address this growing world wide statistic?

     3. Yes I was surprised by these statistics too Abbey which is what impulsed me to write the blog. It is not something that I have talked openly about, as there is a shame that goes with feeling like this. However, it is a conversation that has to be brought out and needs to be explored … I wonder how many people have felt like this in their life.

        1. The statistics really are surprising MAS. By exposing these facts it has already started a conversation to bring this information out of the darkness where it has been. It is interesting that facts that show us what is really going on, when it involves something we don’t want to talk about, go away silently and unaddressed. How many people out there are truly stuck in that ‘I am broken’ rut, that no one is discussing? Thank you for putting the spot light on what needs to be looked at.

        2. MAS, what you have shared is GOLD. And I am sure many people like you have shown with the statistics have had similar experiences to you. How amazing would it be if everyone person on this statistic could have known about Universal Medicine Modalities. This makes me really touched deeply and I know that this is something I want to support – so more people get to know these God given modalities and practitioners.

        3. I’ve really appreciated this very deeply honest blog which is bringing to light the dark thoughts we carry within ourselves, often ashamed to share with anyone how we feel.

        4. I have read another one of your blogs MAS and no different to this one they ignite a depth of care and perspective in me. Your experience has given me a deeper understanding of how trauma can influence our lives.. Thank you. The shame is understandable but is insignificant to what you are really showing us here – that through self love you are learning to love and enjoy yourself again and how Universal Medicine is the real deal in offering true and steady support.

        5. I’m sure MAS there is more than half the world who have had that type of thought. I have and still get that ‘suicidal thought’, and my life is amazing now. That energy still needs to be cleared from my body. Any thought can enter when you are hurt – whatever vice is more attractive to not deal with your hurt will be used. Because I chose to deeply abuse myself and not be responsible for my hurts it was the most conquering vice. Only through the high reflection of love through Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I was able, and continue, to expand my choices for more love.

     4. Hello Abby, these statistics grabbed me as well. I just read them at first and then when I read them the second time I actually took them in. We spend a lot of time, money and focus on preventing death but from these statistics, more people are actually killing themselves?? It doesn’t make sense but yet MAS exposes why it makes perfect sense. this is a great blog and one that needs to be shared everywhere. I can relate to what MAS is saying and the support offered by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine is one direct thing that could blow these statistics off the page and turn this around, this blog is a testament to that.

        1. What is interesting/disturbing about these stats is the fact that there are more psychological services than at any other time in our past, and more qualified psychologists, psychotherapists and psychiatrists. In Australia Medicare has created special access to a number of sessions with these practitioners offering a substantial rebate to cover the cost of visits.
           Yet the rates are increasing showing just how very seriously we are out of balance. Universal Medicine has something very special on offer to restore us, as MAS has written so clearly.

        2. Hello Dr Rachel Mascord and this is a great, great point to make. We keep throwing things or ‘help’ at these ‘problems’ and yet they are getting worse? It doesn’t make sense and you would think that if the support we currently offer is the real deal well then it would lead with results, that would be common sense. So if the results aren’t there then we need to look at the support we offer. Universal Medicine has the runs on the board, real life and ever growing results. Universal Medicine is the real deal and we need to change the way we look at things. Thank you Rachel.

        3. I just realised as well, all the modalities and the presented truth that we have found with Universal Medicine is the door to all what is needed to turn suicide and illness around into a joyful life with a vibrant body. What holds us back to not promote and express this in every day life? I can feel the urgency to present and share what we have found for ourselves already now to share with the people in our lives. We can blow the statistics!

        4. That’s right Raymond and all, we as Universal Medicine students, who have turned the tides, can assist those who require and are open to receive. It goes without saying the natural honor we share and give back what we have chosen to receive ourselves.

     5. I agree Abby, every time I read a suicide statistic it stops me in my tracks – and it is on the increase not the decrease. Much is needed in humanity, and what MAS has so beautifully presented here is the Way.

     6. I agree with you Abby. The whole list is disturbing anyway, and reading about children being suicidal and the rates going up is in comprehensible. It is showing that there is something very very wrong with how we are living.

        1. Yes Golnaz, there is something wrong with the way we are living that means children cannot handle what they are feeling, do not have the tools to express that, or feel like they can be the change they want to see in the world.

           The suicide rate is something many organisations are acutely aware of and they don’t now how to change it. Do you have the conversation and put the idea in children heads or do you not have the conversation and leave vulnerable people potentially more vulnerable. At the moment they are finding that neither approach is making a difference. The questions have to be asked – how are we, as adults, living that makes a young person not want to grow up in this world? What are we taking as normal that children under 10 find so abhorrent that they don’t want to be here? How and why are we not dealing with it so the problem is still there and unexpressed in men for the majority of their lives?

           Lastly, are we willing to care enough to take responsibility for the way we have lived and what we have taken as normal and say it isn’t working?

        2. Yes Golnaz, and it is showing the ignorance of people and how ignorantly we are living. So true that there is something very very wrong here, what I have come to lately is that so many people (I was one too) are identifying themselves as victims of life, that there is a giving up on self, because we can’t fulfil that what is projected down to us. When we identify ourselves with that what we have to be according to what is expected from us of society and family, how and who we should be like, than we give away our true essence and quality, we can’t be seen for who we are when we try to fit into a society that we are not. This giving up feeds the misery we are in as bigger picture in the world and the statistics are showing that we have too many people not wanting to be in this false society, but searching for the answer in the wrong way. The way that is presented with Universal Medicine is the one true way I have found and many thousands of people have already made this step out of the falseness into the true way of living, thanks to Serge Benhayon and all the students that are the reflection of the truth to this lost society.

     7. Yes Abby it is incredible, to really read those statistics and understand the impact of what is actually happening is shocking!

     8. I know Abby. I had the same shock reading that. Leading cause of death for children? How desperate are they? Clearly there are so many children with nowhere to turn, and reflecting on those figures the desperation is only increasing.

     9. I agree Abby this is truly shocking, like yourself I couldn’t at first take in these statistics, I find it heart breaking that * “Suicide was the leading cause of death of Australian children aged between 5 and 17 and * In 2009 death by suicide accounted for 9.9% of children’s deaths, which escalated in 2013 to 19.3%” What are we doing? Why are our children suicidal?

     10. Yes thank you MAS for bringing this to our attention, and Abby for highlighting this again, I can see i skimmed over this initially, but this makes worrying reading that in 4 years the suicide in children between 5 and 17 rate in Australia, has increased nearly 10%. The feeling of hopelessness and no where to turn that MAS describes is for many getting worse. Great question Abby…Why are our children suiciding? What is happening to our children that we are not able to support them to such a degree that they are willing to take their own lives…..at the age of 5? How far is the innocence of a child lost that they can be plagued by thoughts of suicide at such a tender age.

     11. And what has changed in just the 4 years from 2009 to 2013 that could escalate the suicide rate so immensely and or actually what has been ignored and not been taking care of by us to let that happen?

     12. Because there is less and less true reflection there is no wonder even children feel the impact of the immense intensity around them…Truly shocking though how determined young kids can already be, because they lost themselves.

     13. Abby, this statistic totally shocked me too and I had to read it again to make sure that I had read it correctly. This is definitely a statistic that must be brought to the attention of the whole of society, and the question you posed must be asked over and over again until we have the answer.

     14. I agree Abby – Why are our young people not inspired with life that they want to kill themselves? What are these figures reflecting back to us about the state of our society. Although these may seem like just ‘figures’ and not ‘our’ children we are all responsible for these shocking statistics.

     15. Ouch Abby, you highlighting it here has focused it – I read it and didn’t quite take it in, or want to take it in. This is horrific and we don’t want to see and feel this, we’d rather be distracted as Vanessa notes. These are children fresh and new to life – how on earth are we living that we don’t address this? Or more personally how am I living that I can gloss over this fact, and stay in my bubble?

     16. I am re-staggered at these figures, and the close to 10% increase between the years 2009 and 2013. What is going on? I mean really going on?

469. Thank you MAS I can feel that you are an amazing person and incredibly brave and courageous to have come through this period of your life and now be a shining example to others by sharing your story that there is a way out of the darkness. The esoteric modalities can be life changing – all that is needed is to be willing to experience this healing.

470. Thank you for sharing your amazing return back to yourself and the deepening of that connection. You show what may seem impossible is possible.

     1. Yes it is a miraculous return and look how quickly it was. Through the power of Love we will all return.

471. ‘nurturing and caring for myself deeply, and allowing myself the chance to just let go and shine’, there is so much love in this choice and it radiates throughout your entire blog, thank you from the depths of my heart.

     1. This article is living proof that the choices we make have a profound impact on who we are as human beings. The responsibility we have for ourselves is literally in our hands and if we get lost then it is reassuring that there are practitioners in this world who can offer true support and healing. Universal Medicine and its many trained practitioners support thousands of people to shine like MAS.

     2. I know Clare it’s beautiful to read this blog because of the quality that shines through every part. I especially beamed when MAS shares that one day it just happened she felt the love in her body. I can completely relate and love that love is a body feeling not a head or emotional feeling it is so consistent and expansive it blows me away.

     3. It’s true Clare “there is so much love in this choice and it radiates throughout your entire blog”. It’s living proof that love is not far away and the real tool to heal the most awkward pain.

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